#vent bus

[tesco-finest-aromantics]

the amount of people on that poll who think people use aromanticism as an excuse for commitment issues (or believe that aromanticism and commitment issues are the same thing) is genuinely making me angry. have you people never heard of casual sex? are you against casual sex? would you hate it if someone was upfront that they're not looking for a committed romantic relationship when they want to have casual sex? how is that a bad thing? tell me please

#caique posts #''oh but he wants access to my body and no commitment'' is this about casual sex? if you've both agreed to it i really don't see the proble #if it's not about casual sex you can literally just say you don't want casual sex without throwing a bunch of people under the bus #vent

[grimalkinmessor]

Light's end has always bothered me for multiple reasons (the biggest of which is it not actually being his fault that he lost therefore robbing me of a greater poetic justice but you can't win 'em all), but I think one nobody really talks about is that,,,Light wasn't afraid to die.

Well—he WAS, at the beginning, but part of the reason I'm so obsessed with his relationship with Ryuk is because Ryuk's existence was a constant threat to Light's life. And yet Light never once seemed afraid of him, or tried to cozy up to him, or even attempted manipulate Ryuk into doing things for him. Sure, he bribed him sometimes into going along with his plans, but he was friends with Ryuk. Or—as close to friends as I assume a Light Yagami and a Shinigami can get.

But before Light meets Ryuk, he 100% believes that he's going to die. His frenzy those first few days can be attributed not to any moral righteousness, but to a desperate sort of resignation. Light thinks that he's sold his soul after killing those first two men, so instead of destroying the Death Note, he immediately sets out to make as big of an impact as possible. He wants to go out with a bang! He wants to be remembered! Light is afraid of death in those first days—but he also comes to terms with it somewhere between killing Otoharada and Ryuk showing up. He was ready to go with Ryuk quietly if he was there to take his life or his soul.

But then—he learns that he's not going to die.

The face of a boy excited and relieved.

Light learns that there are no consequences to using the Death Note.

THIS is when he starts getting cocky, when he starts to actually convince himself of all that moral stuff he spouts.

But he's still not afraid of death.

Oh he's afraid of being caught, for sure, and after L humiliated him on live television, he might've even been afraid of execution. Because he'd seen firsthand just how quickly L could turn the tables on him, how he could make Kira look foolish. And Light definitely does not want to be remembered as foolish.

I don't think Light was afraid of actually DYING though, because when Ryuk says "You know I could just kill you", Light laughs. Literally laughing in the face of death. Light KNOWS that Ryuk will eventually kill him, but as long as he goes down the way he wants—on HIS terms—it's fine. Ryuk claiming that he'd be the one to finally end Light might've even been a relief, considering how Light's mind works. A god can only be killed by another god, etc. etc. 'Killed By A Real-life Shinigami' sounds metal as FUCK. Top-tier way to die if you're as much of a gloryhound as Light.

And one thing that irks me is that—the five year gap kind of,,,,takes that, from Light. Light spends so long on top of the world with no real challenge that by the time that Near and Mello show up, he's far more arrogant than he was when he was up against L. Light is, once more, afraid of death. He's lost that tolerance he built up in those pivotal first few days, and he goes out, not in a blaze of glory like he wanted, but clawing and pleading to live like a dog.

Light lost his recklessness, his impatience, his acceptance of the inevitable because he believed that he could now change the inevitable—all somewhere in that five year time skip.

This makes him less likely to get caught, yes, but it also takes away that—that teenage dauntlessness that he had at the beginning. Pre-skip Light feared L and L alone. Only the idea of being caught by someone who could truly tear him down frightened him. Not even death compared.

And I suppose that Light's spiralling at the end is a sort of poetic justice in this case?? But it's not the one I wanted.

I wanted Light's recklessness to blow up in his face. I wanted his carefully curated plans ruined by his own impatient hand. I wanted him to go down much as he probably first intended—in a blaze of glory. I wanted his fall to be explosive and terrifying to the audience. A moral of the story that shoots you right in the chest and really makes you think.

Instead he was reduced to just,,,,another criminal, begging for his life.

Which, yes, I suppose, is also a message in and of itself (all evil figures throughout history have only ever been human, have only ever been men that bleed red at the end of the day, and nothing they've ever done or said will change that), but I also find that....exceedingly boring.

#death note #grim rants #yagami light #light yagami #death note meta #i guess...? #im just venting my frustrations with the ending #again #i know the five year skip was supposed to show us how fast kira consumed the world and how quickly corruption spreads #but also yOU COULDVE BROUGHT NEAR AND MELLO IN WAY EARLIER #WHEN LIGHT WAS STILL THE DUMBASS THAT BUILDS FLASHBOMBS IN HIS DESKS #it wouldve so much funnier plzzzz #and more interesting in my opinion #23 yo light was kinda more of a bitch not gonna lie #like wheres the man that orchestrated a bus jacking to get one man's name?? #and then met that man in person again and made him kill his own comrades???? #WHERE'D MY ARROGANT/DESPERATE LITTLE HASTY BOY GO #he went from a zim to a mr burns and i disliked it greatly thank you

[cherry-pop-elf]

Angel With A Ticket

George Weasley x Knight Bus Conductor Reader

You’ve worked on the knight bus for so long, and saw such a variety of faces. What happens when you meet a face that normally smiles, but can’t seem to plaster one on?

Can be read as romantic or platonic

Warnings: Angst, Mention of Death, Vague setting, Implied self harm, Survivors Guilt, George Weasley Deserves To Mourn, Dead Fred, Reader is everyone’s therapist, ya know?

“Hey-! We got one-!” The familiar bobble of the shrunken head would alert you, as you hurried down the stairs of the upper floors. Your bag nearly sending you flying, with its weight. Had the head laugh, before you flicked its forgotten nose. Getting a whine.

“Let’s see who the poor sap in distress is this time-“ You hummed, as the bus gave its sharp stop. Your body having grown used to such a swing, and able to remain standing. “Ya can handle a bus, but not a bag. Magical~!” The head mocked, as the doors opened.

Your eyes couldn’t help but widen, as you saw who was standing there. Was a Weasley, and by the fact a sparkling W pin was on the pocket….It was a twin. Couldn’t be. Twins come in pairs. Where’s the other half? Must be some trick of the eyes. Where is the second in command? You would jump off the bus, and have a look around. Trying to find him.

“It’s just me….” The twin said, with a defeated sigh. “It’s going to be just me. Forever…..Can I just come on already-?” The twin said, as he rubbed at his arms. Suit jacket seeming a mess, and not quite as dapper as it normally was. You tilted your head, as you gave him a better look. Wondering what he was on about.

Normally such vivid eyes were dull, freckled smile missing, and by god so was an ear. Where did his ear go? That’s when it all dawned on you. That same baggy eye look you’ve seen so much of so recently. That was the face of someone who’s been through war. Oh no.

“I’m…..So sorry.” You whispered, as it was hard to process. The idea that twins weren’t twins anymore. “I-“ You didn’t know what else to say, and it didn’t seem like he did either. Just handing over the ticket, and you were quick to autopilot through the transaction. He would climb himself onto the bus, and the energy changed.

The man was normally a beacon of energy and positivity. Didn’t seem like that would be what the bus would feel tonight. With him on the bus, you saw he had no bags. Made you curious why he would be on the bus at all. From what you recall, from your school days, those twins mastered apparation very young.

“Got any beds available?” He asked you, and a nod was what you gave him. “Second floor, to your right.” You said, only to watch him climb up the stairs. It was still hard to comprehend such a livley man went so limp. Probably better to not let him know you didn’t know which twin he was.

“Georgie boy sure has handled it the best he can. Poor child.” Dre said, as if reading your mind. “Still runnen that shop. Maken sure them kids get their fix and be all smiles. Doing the lords work, that be sure.” He sighed, making you wonder if he could breath at all.

“Can’t imagine running a shop you built from the ground up, with your twin, all by yourself.” You admit, as the bus would snap back into the road again. Moving at speeds that could kill. “Why else ya think he’s here? Ain’t the first time.” Dre explained.

That made sense, now that you thought about it. When you weren’t on shift, he must sometimes come sleep on the bus. Just to be somewhere different. This poor man. You didn’t know why, but you wanted to help. Maybe because you knew those twins gave the world everything. And Fred seemed to prove it, with his own life.

Up the stairs you went, to see the many other sleeping passengers. Many a young teen running away from home, to mothers escaping house holds that didn’t want them. So many sad story’s the bus held. All giving them a needed moments rest, before their next stop. Now the infamous George Weasley was in that pile.

You would dance around the sliding beds, as to soon stand next to his own. To look down, as he made sure to have his working ear face the world. Dress jacket would be tossed over the metal head board, and shoes kicked off, as he tried to get some sleep. Struggling, as you saw his eyes flutter behind his lids. The way he would rub his arms, as if they were always in pain. Attacked by the chill.

“Need a blanket….or something-?” You awkwardly asked, getting a snort from him. “Rather have my brother back, but ‘pose that’s a bit harder. Huh?” He more so muttered, as you let him vent. Seemed he was surprised you did. Was sitting up even, with a brow raised.

“Not gonna tell me that I’m being to blunt, or intense-?” He puzzled. “What-? No��.You lost your identical twin. Everyone here has their own story, and ways to deal with trauma. Like hell I’m going to tell you to shut up. If it helps it helps.” You scoffed, as you took offense. Thinking he thought you were fragile. You work on the Knight Bus. Fragile doesn’t exist in that sentence.

“Sure seems like everyone else does. Ya know-?” He begins, and you happily let him. Taking a seat on the bed, and soon did your song and dance. Many a patron would sob their woes to you. That’s just what the Knight Bus was meant for. To let struggling wizards, and witches, get some clarity. And he was no exception.

His head was soon in your lap, as he went on about his woes. How his family more so was pretending Fred didn’t even exist, afraid to even say his name around him. Like it would trigger him to hurt himself more. Acting like he didn’t exist for his sake. Made him just act out more. He was just able to finally vent to someone about it all, and you happily listened.

You let him sniffle, and wiped his tears away, as he goes on about how he could have saved him. If he had just not lost his ear, and was forced to tend to the people in the medical station. That he could have prevented his death, if he didn’t lose his ear. You didn’t dare interrupt, and just let him mourn. Might be the first time he did.

It wouldn’t be long before he was able to finally sleep. They always fell asleep like that. Cry out their sorrows, and you would listen. Let them know that someone was there for them. You would gently rest his head on the pillow, making sure he slept on his left side, before pulling a blanket over him.

“Sleep well, big guy. Do it for Fred.” You whispered, as you would slip back down the stairs. As you did, you couldn’t help but feel a chill run through you. As if some ghost was running up the stairs. You brushed it off as in coming London rain, before you leaned over the railing. Back to your post, with Dre.

“Hope ya know he’s gonna be a regular.” Dre warned you. “And-?” You smarted, getting a smile. “Guess you are cut out for this job.” He laughed, as you rolled your eyes. Despite it all, you did glance up. Knowing that ray of sunshine was up there. You worried, and maybe it was about time someone did for him. “Sleep well.” You whispered, as the bus made its next stop.

“Oye-!” You shouted, as you hopped off the bus. “Come on. Don’t wait for the grass ta grow, it’s time to go-!” You tried to joke, as you grabbed the runaways bags. Helping them on, before you vanished into the night. Leaving behind only the sounds of screeching tires.

#harry potter magic awakened #harry potter #hpma #magic awakened #George Weasley x reader #George Weasley x KnightBus Reader #George Weasley #knight bus #x reader #x reader angst #x platonic!reader #x reader comfort #angst #hurt/comfort #disabled george weasley #deaf george weasley #some light angst #can be read as platonic or romantic #platonic is valid #vent? ish? #vent? kinda #writing comms open #commissions open #writters on tumblr #tumblr writing community #my commissions are open #just so you know #thanks #hp #second wizarding war

[e-likes-bones]

a couple drawing i started awhiles back & was sitting on

still love these 2 but i dont draw them as often anymore,,

#sorry scudnation #ive dropped off #my interest shifted bit to something new lol love new hyperfixations #also this summer is hard were on the struggle bus lol #ok i wont vent in tags uhhh lemme actually tag this shit #clone high #scudworth #mr b #scudlertron #mr butlertron #mr butlertron clone high #cinnamon j scudworth #principal scudworth #scudworth clone high #scudtron #:0 my art

[lesbian-honey-lemon]

Here is my problem with posts like these- the concept is sound. Autistic people *can* have all of these traits pictured. Autistic people can make eye contact, not be good at science, and understand emotions.

But all of these posts come off with the undertone that NOT having these pictured traits is the default, the standard, that autistics who don’t have these traits are talked about too much and that NOT having these traits is just stereotypical and bad. Those sentiments have been repeated far too often in the community for me to fully trust people who make posts like this one shown above. How can I know that they don’t REALLY mean to leave autistics who don’t have these traits, these “cute, good, more socially acceptable traits”, out of the conversation. How can I know they don’t think autistics who don’t fit this cutesy list are bad and stereotypical and should just shut up already so the cutesy autistics can look better to neurotypicals. Because it really does come off this way.

I didn’t read fiction at all until I was nine (I was forced to start reading it then) and didn’t enjoy it until I was twelve. I still only enjoy the few fandoms I know well and it is very hard to get into anything I’m not familiar with. My lifelong special interest is geology and has been since I was five. I have always been good at science, and although I have a vivid imagination and love art, I hate English class and can only make art for Big Hero 6 and the SCP Foundation because I know those fandoms well. I don’t make eye contact, and I have low empathy and struggle to read and understand the emotions of people I don’t know well. I have noise sensitivity so bad that I have almost given myself tinnitus playing music to cope. I couldn’t do dishes until I got myself rubber gloves, I can’t eat many “quick foods” such as instant and microwaveable foods because of texture issues.

I don’t fit most of those cutesy traits on the list. But, I barely ever see any positivity for MY traits, because the community sees me as the default, thinks I’m talked about enough and visible enough. There’s this undertone in all of these posts that us non-socially acceptable autistics are visible enough and we should just let high masking high empathy LSNs have the spotlight. And that would be fine if they didn’t also make the community completely inhospitable to us by shitting on people with low empathy, misusing the term nonverbal (which ABSOLUTELY pisses off actually nonverbal people and you’d know that if you actually listened to them), and refusing to talk about anyone who isn’t a cutesy high empathy high masking LSN. Apparently everyone else is accepted enough. Apparently people are aware of me already. If so, then where did my diagnosis run off to, huh?

#this is like half venting half discourse #of course it’s not all high empathy high masking lsns #but I am allowed to be fucking angry when all I see is stuff about them and how lovely and cool their traits are #where’s that energy for nonverbal autistics or autistics with intellectual disabilities or autistics with low empathy #where’s that energy for autistics with comorbidities other than ADHD like autistics with schizophrenia or cluster b disorders or OCD or DID #we won’t get anywhere if every other autistic is thrown under the bus to make high empathy high masking LSNs look better to neurotypicals #autism #autism spectrum disorder #actually autistic #autism discourse #asd #low empathy autism #actually low empathy

[theshalesky]

I'm the one next to the shy girl. You know the story - Tale as old as time: "I don't want friends." "I don't need friends." You can't escape fate, darling, This story is about you. She sits there, brooding, In the middle of the frame. Alone, but her world doesn't feel the lack Like mine does. I'm sorry, i'm not supposed to talk about myself. No vast empty space Like a pit in your stomach Or if it's there, it will soon Be filled. In this story, every Jack has a Jill. They come up to her laughing, talking, smiling. "You're new, right?" "Wanna come sit with us during lunch?" Or maybe "We're in this group project together, right?" They're interested In her. She's interesting. What has she done to be interesting? She is just sitting there!! And yet "We live in the same street, right?" "Did you do that math homework?" "Are you coming on the field trip?" So many questions! They're asking Questions. They want to get to know her although SHE IS JUST SITTING THERE. I'm sitting there too. Right next to her, actually. But no one notices because The camera will never focus on me. This girl found her family and will be happy - Oh, it's so nice that the shy girl found friends. Everyone nods: That's how the world works. And i wonder: Are you all living in stories? Because there's one thing i can say for sure. I am not in a story. I'm the one watching it. And although i'm close So close to the shy girl that you might think i'm like her I will never Be seen by any camera. I have to claw my way to a place half as comfortable as hers. Because the fate in my world Doesn't hand out friends Like an author does.

#oops another personal poem thingy #needed to vent #the webtoon “school bus graveyard” made me write this #it's good but it made me so angry because - #is this how the world works for all of you?? #is it my fault? #is there something wrong with me? #writers and poets #vent #personal #vent poetry #poetry #writeblr #vent poem #original poem #spilled ink #spilled poetry #spilled words #modern poetry #or whatever you call this messy spilling-your-guts style #possibly autistic #social anxiety #making friends is hard #found family #...is such a cool trope but also makes me sad because why is everyone finding their families except me huh? #(that's what the “found her family” thing is referring too - it sounds weird if you don't get that i think)

[raziraphale]

I'm really tired of situations where asexuality is mentioned like, casually in a way that kind of flattens the definition a bit for simplicity's sake (like just implying asexuality = no sexual interest) and someone feels like they have to jump in to remind us all that some asexuals can still have sex. like cool sure that's a true statement but it rarely comes across as adding nuance and instead sounds like you're saying "remember that some of us are normal just like you". well most of us aren't "normal" so maybe let people sit with their discomfort with that fact for five minutes before reassuring them that asexuals can be just like everyone else

#in the same vein: people who assure non-aces that aces can still have relationships like they do!! #like yeah sure they can but do you need to implicitly throw aro folks under the bus in order to prove how normal you can be? #it's just respectability politics and I think we should just give less of a shit about optics in general #let yourself be unrelable. unpalatable even #it's not on you to make people understand and respect you by sanding down the things they have trouble grappling with #the hatred of aces on this website 5-10 years ago really made folks so afraid to be 'cringe' bc of harassment and it angers me #but the secret is that the only aces those people didn't consider cringe are those that just shut up and didn't talk about it ever #vent your rage about compulsory sexuality a little you'll feel better #reilly.txt #asexuality

[paranorahjones]

i am . . . so unbelievably tired of everyone i work with except for ONE person.

#the majority of my coworkers are unfailingly immature #my bosses are miserably overbearing and like to blame the wrong people when something goes wrong #one coworker in particular tried to throw me under the bus when she was basically stealing money from the registers #and said that i told her that it was okay #when i never even trained her on the registers or had even a slightly related conversation with her about the registers #i actually hate it here #i cannot WAIT to leave and let these people run this place into the ground for the second time #vent

[seariii]

Thinking about how in emotional stuff intp self has actually been popping out more often, even before... Questioning if that's good or bad... Maybe means I'm emotionally exhausted?

#she has helped before right...? ... i think she has only made people upset... #then again she's the one that has been able to put boundaries and that convinced us that it's okay... #hm.... she still feels bad tho... i wonder if people actually like that side of me... i feel like people wouldnt... #and like the ones that have seen it probably dont.... the bestie adores her so thats comforting #'its part of who you are' ... yeah... and intp self is very helpful... and i still think its fun the way she looks at the world #but yeah i think people dont like her... me..? um... its me but if i say me sounds too personal #im just thinking about previous moments and yeah she has made others upset and infp self has had to ease everything with kind words and #warmth... intp... is kind but... she... i feel... no. im being too hard on myself. she is a good person. #boundaries and caring about ourselves isnt bad. failing at social interactions doesnt make me a bad person either #... in any case i have to go now and catch the bus i should be at my grandma's by now #seari talks #our silly doodles #vent post #< kinda

[op3ra]

ITS NOT SEXY OR CUTE OR FUN TO HIT ON WOMEN AT THE BUS STATION STOPPPPPASPP

#i think men don't understand how genuinely terrifying it is for a woman #like logically in hindsight LOGICALLY some guy 20 years older than me in a motorized wheelchair is not likely to be a threat #it's still fucking terrifying to sit there with my phone off desperately trying to turn it on while a STRANGER invites me to his house #AURUAURGAHJF FCUK #i hate everything #the worst part is he started it by asking me about the bus but then just fuckign left. he was only there to fucking creep on me #DONT SHOOT YOUR SHOT AT RANDOM PLACES ON LONE WOMEN WHO ARE CLEARLY THERE FOR A UTILITY AND NOT FOR FUNSIES #rambles #vent

[theprestigegirly]

that girl in my english class that i hate forced me to send her all of my notes on an hour long documentary that she didn’t watch

#okay don’t read tags unless we’re friends bc lowkey vent under tags #personal #she literally leaned over me and forced me to send them #why am i doing her fucking hoemwork #she’s such a fugly bitch #she’s so clapped she’s such a mean bitch #i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her #i hate her i hate her #she’s such a munter she smells like so..? bodyspray #i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her #I HATE HER #SHES SO MEAN #SHE ROLLS HER EYES WHEN I TALK #SHES THE WORST #IM CRYING ON THE BUS #I CANT GO TO CLASS ANYMORE #I H A T E HER #actually sobbing on the way home #she’s so horrible #she’s way bigger than me too #she’s 6 foot and i’m 5’2 #and she hangs out with the scary kids that do drugs #i’m really upset about it she makes me hate my favourite class

[lycanboybreakdowns]

god i really wish i could just. control my voice. could control my volume and how much i speak.

#vent in tags #cant take the bus home anymore. last time the driver didnt hear me when i pointed out my stop #i was in the front seat. i was being as loud as i could. he couldnt even hear that i was talking. #i think one of my coworkers might think i dont like her. she says hi every time we pass each other #all i can do is a little nod. i can hardly ever say hi on command #cant always speak on command in general. #i need to be prepared. to be anticipating a conversation #and even then im too quiet #or if im w friends and family im too loud. i talk too much. too fast #i just. i wish it was in my control #it is for everyone else in the world. why not me. #actually autistic #ok to rb #rambling

[skeletalheartattack]

re: your recent tags about the gameboy sp! that boy's got headphone adapters i POMISE!!!

the magic of modern science. wow...

#ask #sapphicdroid #i did look it up to fact check myself after i reblogged the post and saw the adapters #honestly when i was younger i never knew it didnt have a headphone jack #granted the only time i ever saw one in person was on the school bus with a friend #he played pokemon blue on it and i dont remember the details of all that went on during #i mightve also seen another kid on the bus play pokemon emerald. i dont remember. #however that was my first exposure to gen 3 pokemon. as a kid i only knew about Red Blue Yellow and Crystal #my brothers had Red and Blue. and so thusly i have both games now. i... dont know where my copy of Red is though. #i have a copy of Yellow from Ebay but it loses its memory sometimes. which i think is why it was put on Ebay in the first place #Crystal however? well first i knew of gen 2 through pokemon stadium 2 #we had both pokemon stadiums for the n64. or. well. still do have them. #speaking of. sure does suck to go through the gym leaders and elite 4 in those games. mostly due to how long rounds are. #emulated it a while back and i had to use the fast forward feature a lot #anyway. Crystal. somehow i got my copy from a random coat in a clothing store. just. in the pocket. #i dont know how i managed to find it. it was either in a coat my mom was looking at or i was looking through pockets... probably the former #anyway within like a week. a kid in 3rd grade stole it from me #i... think i got to the elite 4? i remember getting to the last dude with the charizard. forgive me for forgetting his name. #but like right after i had it stolen. i got on the bus and vented to my friend and he was like ''oh i have two copies of crystal'' #and then gave his second copy to me. i forget if it was on the day of or if it was the next day. #anyway that same day it got stolen again. by the same kid. that kid stole so much shit from me #he switched schools the next year so i couldnt do anything about it #i have uhhh... soul silver now. so its not that big of a deal these days #anyway thank you for the ask :) i appreciate you telling me anyway

[orangeshinigami]

my day was so awful that missing the bus to go home was just the last straw for me to break down crying

#i felt pathetic crying at the bus stop in front of everyone like that lmao #but thankfully it was already dark so i don't think a whole lot of people noticed #oh well I'm finally on my way home now #after waiting for another bus to come for almost a whole hour :'))) #fuck my life #when i finally get home i need to cry some more in the shower #then maybe i will feel better at least a little bit #negativity cw #venting cw #( ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆ ) out of karakura town. | ooc.

[silenthillbunni]

📓🖊️🧸

#i feel so lonely now bc i have no one to talk to sksksk #my sisters gets mad whenever i try to talk 2 mom and she just slammed doors nd got irritated at me #nd my mom is so stressed nd in a bad mood so she just got annoyed when i tried saying smth to her #so ig i should just vent to my bestfriend beloved diary confidant thats been here for me for 5yrs<3333 #anywayyy today was rough.. i woke up w a headache after 3hrs of sleep :(( #but still had to get up nd get ready nd eat boxed mashed potatoes for breakkyy 🤢🤮 (it's so gross after eating it everyday lol) #then w my hunchback nd achy stomach i went to school. it was frustrating bc ppl r so fkn rude #they bumped into me at the bus nd i had to sit like a weirdo caging my left stomach side from everyone. had to elbow some dumb fkn guy bc he #pressed his backpack into my side. so i had to basically push it away from me lol he thought i was so weird. but move tf away asshole?????? #got to school nd checked myself in the mirror nd i was so pale i look like absolute garbage its annoying :(( #it was next to insufferable to endure class bc my head hurt so bad (it was the worst part i think) nd i couldnt sit up straight so my back #hurt so bad too sksksks :< #but i managed to write a little but on my assignment #then i left a bit earlier bc i couldnt stand it anymore i was feeling so bad #wrnt to the library bc i had to return some books. could only carry two small ones tho so have to go back multiple times sksksk #felt soooo bad but ate some more disgusting mashed potatoes nd took a nap w an ice pack. took a migraine pill even if it upsets my stomach🤣 #now a few hours later i feel better physically #buuuuuut im so miserable im not even kidding #idc if it sound pathetic or fatty but genuinely that moment w a cup of coffee nd a small chocolate treat everyday makes me feel sm better #like im not kidding!!!!! it does a lot for my peace of mind sksksk T-T #im so miserable bc i cant eat anything still im so hungry :(( #and im weak. im pale. my skin's dry. it's itchy bc of malnutrition... i feel faint nd dizzy nd slow nd just not good at all #im so frustrated i hate this sm i wanna feel strong and healthy!! i dont wanna be constantly hungry. i wanna go to the gym nd go for walks #i wanna be able to sit up straight nd not get back pain!!! #i know i know it's only been 8 days since surgery and it takes time to heal i get it..... :( #but theres just too much going on and im so sick and tired of it all #mostly i just wanna be able to eat and feel strong bc i feel so weak nd i miss food so much sksksksk