Well. This is happening.
Don't ask me how- I had no bigger fear growing up than that wonky ring master and his innocent ways (like global drawings that somehow only produce White Only-Children).
It doesn't make sense. But it is a) happening and b) part of a bigger something.
P.S. betraying everything I was and believed in growing up, I might actually prefer Violet violet?
What are your honest opinions on all five kids from CatCF?
Charlie: Good kid, I hold him no ill will, but dang is he vanilla and boring. Which was the point - it takes a vanilla person who plays by the rules to make his way through the trickster-fae-level gauntlet Wonka has set up to make sure people take the job seriously - but geez, I feel no actual attachment to him.
Augustus: Poor little meow meow. Also a savage snark. I want to buy him ice cream.
Violet: BEST KIDDO. Little girlboss in the making. I've seen the discourse on how the 80s version should've inherited the factory, and you know what I'mma say that's universal, gum is adjacent to candy and Vi knows gum. This doesn't mean she's a nice person, though. Which is exactly why I like her.
Veruca: Yzma energy, absolute Yzma energy. I love snotty diva characters so much.
Mike: You know those characters who are designed to be hateable but in the most fun way possible? There's almost nothing redeeming about Mike whatsoever and I love that about him. Little headstrong brat.
I will adopt them all (or get them crossover parents) except for Charlie who is good because he is now a billionaire
Thing is, I'm not mad at Charlie (except for how boring he is), and I'm not even that mad at Wonka (I really just...consider him a trickster fae archetype, and one must be careful in one's dealings with the fae) but I like angry, jaded, petty characters and so I will ABSOLUTELY support Augustus, Violet, Veruca, and Mike embarking on an EPIC REVENGE QUEST to bring down the chocolate factory system
So yeah, I kinda don't subscribe to "they did nothing wrong" because of my particular flavor of character enjoyment but I'm also all about said angry, jaded, petty characters finding friendships and getting satisfying lives regardless, so they're my kiddos
The accidents happened to the kids to give the parents a wake up call (this was kinda basically the whole premise of the book but… I just wanna analyse it because I’m bored lol)
Augustus- almost drowns in chocolate. A literal representation how his mom is basically killing him with junk food, shows what his fate could be (symbolically) to her. He leaves the factory thin, reminding her to look after him responsibly and to teach him good habits.
Violet- blows up into a huge blueberry. Physically distorting her and the romanticised version of Violet her parents brag about, impose and reinforce her to be. She leaves the factory completely blue, a permanent reminder to her parents that Violet isn’t the perfect image or made up version of her in their heads.
Verucca- is chucked down a garbage chute by squirrels… deserved it– ahem. Is a literal lesson to her father, that all the fancy and expensively lavish clothes she is bought isn’t worth anything in the end and is easily tossed away. Reflecting that her adopted snobbish personality will be easily chucked away by authentic people. They both get tossed down the chute, a lesson for both of them and a double lesson for her father to take more responsibility and not be so financially reckless on a child. They leave the factory in need of a “bath”, a symbolic way to take time and reflect for a while and clean up the ‘messy’ traits.
Mike- is shrunk down by Wonka-Vision. A literal demonstration that by spending all his time watching TV, it will eventually shrink his personality down to nothing and that he will only be able to spew out what the TV says (symbolic of when he’s tiny and talking out the normal sized TV, he’s literally become the TV). This shows his parents that they’re not feeding his creativity or potential, that they need be responsible and not neglect their child emotionally all day. He leaves the factory stretched out by the taffy puller… maybe a physical representation of stretching out his potential and forcing his parents to treat him like a normal diverse “big” kid (not a “tiny”, dismissible part of their life).
It’s 4:40AM. This is a mess lmao. Fun writing though. Byeeee for now.