#very *cough* self projectiony *cough*

[deathfrisbeeinthetardis]

Ah the good ol’ drunk writing, yeah first time drunk last weekend had me feeling some kind of way. Just putting it here for safekeeping. 

The knife in his hand is colder than the air. 

The lines on his arms are red, and that’s good. They are markers he can use, places he can trace and press and push to bring him back to himself. The cold seeps into his hand and the blade sinks deeper, but not deep enough. 

No one will understand. They will agonize and plead and worry at the marks, but nothing will help. Nothing but the pain and the blade and the sight of crimson against skin. 

Get help, they say. 

But I’m fine, he thinks, I’m just fine by myself. 

I’m dealin’ with all my problems and everything is well. 

But I’m a stranger to myself.

Oh well. 

#alex writes #tw: self harm #based on real life events that happened while alex was drunk #very *cough* self projectiony *cough* #yeah in case you saw my post abt wanting to do something reckless this was it #getting drunk as a knife person may not be a good idea #I am genuinely better now but I was just feeling weird that night #it was like I was stressing so much before #then I got drunk and every thing got dull #and I didn't want it to be that #so this was about my attempt to reconnect #thanks for coming to my ted talk #alex talks shit that isn't really relevant to anyone