#very long post for ts

[loquaciousquark]

Game Masters of Exandria: Round Table

Good evening, good evening, good evening! Welcome to a special CR episode with our fabulous DMs of the CR Expanded Universe: Matt Mercer, Brennan Lee Mulligan, and Aabria Iyengar. Matt opens us up! Don’t forget that the Tal’Dorei campaign guide is out now. He’s so excited for more people to play in this world and expand it at their own tables.

Session Zero: very important, even with people you gel with and know well. It’s important to make lines and veils explicit. Aabria likes to have a tone check-in so everyone has a chance to give input. “It’s an amuse-bouche before you start the story.” Brennan sidebars all of us by just being so excited Matt opened up this sandbox for all of us to play with. Matt, cheerfully: “It was all an accident. It just kept growing like The Blob.” Brennan likens this to James Lipton meeting God at the pearly gates and discovering God has no idea what’s going on. Back on topic, Brennan quotes Voltaire: “I apologize for not having time to write you a short letter so I wrote you a long one.” Prepping for a confined campaign is very different than prepping for an open-world game.

Brennan tangents into a discussion of railroading vs. player agency; when you have a short campaign like this where a story has to hit certain beats, the railroading shouldn’t ever come from the DM. Instead, it should come from the players knowing their characters really, really well, which is all established in session zero. If you can establish really strong player backgrounds and motivations before the campaign begins, the plot can be wholly driven by them/their choices and still achieve the beats needed without ever taking away from player agency. “The rails are gonna be who you tell me you are.” The rails for short campaigns should be designed by the player, not the DM.

Aabria praises Brennan’s character creation style; she went into creation with him with half a thought and came out knowing everything about Llaerryn, and also knowing Brennan completely understood her too.

Brennan has a 13-year-old home game that had no session zero; he talks about how that had no creation session because he knew that game had time to expand and grow with the characters & the players would be okay.

Matt likes having everyone create characters together, or at least a session zero shortly after: this is how relationships started with Vex and Vax, Caleb and Nott, etc. Brennan thinks it’s critical to allow unfilmed sessions as well so the players can find their voices. Matt also likes to make sure people will be comfortable with their characters in the long run, not just the short run. He hates the idea that anyone is ever “locked in” to something they don’t want to play.

Sometimes, like for oneshots/charity games, you can’t have the session zero; in this case Matt likes to email the players just some brief back-and-forths to nail down one or two elements. “Who else in the party owes you a favor and why? What’s one regret from your childhood?”

Brennan tells us the GM is like a one-person Greek chorus. “When you are baking, you find out what you forgot to put in in the oven.” Backstory is meant to give you a trajectory; it’s not where you come from, it’s where you’re going. Backstory has to be a connection to the world; if you just show up with gear and no desires, no goals, “that’s just enlightenment, buddy, I don’t know what to tell you!”

Matt likes one-two page backstories; the more complicated it gets, the harder it is to incorporate things, but he’s also had a player whose whole character was a monk wandering in search of power, and he made that work too.

Backstory should be an invitation, NOT an expectation. Players should anticipate that not all backstory elements may come into play, but the GM should also communicate if they realize they may not be able to use the backstory at all. Players don’t want to wait for three years only to never get into their backstory, but also do have a responsibility to make sure it can be integrated into the world. Communication is key in both directions!

Brennan loves backstory in order to incorporate plot hooks he knows they’ll say “yes” to. If he has a party with no clerics, he knows he doesn’t have to work so much on the pantheon. I identify with this laziness.

Matt made his own settings at first because he was too scared to ruin or incorrectly run an established setting. Brennan enjoys making up canon in established settings, which makes Matt hilariously nervous. Matt: “For most of you, this won’t be livestreamed, so you can fuck it up as much as you want!” Brennan: “Dani Carr, in the corner, with a blowgun.” Aabria advocates taking a break and looking something up for something super critical that you can’t improv. Players always go off the rails; give yourself leeway when DMing for that. Matt also suggests telling players familiar with a setting ahead of time that “this is YOUR version of the world; some things might be the same, different, or conflict with canon, and that’s intended.”

Niirdal-Poc was super fun for Aabria to create. Creating something new in an established world, especially for someone not in love with high fantasy, gave her an amazing chance to pick out the themes she valued. This city was her love letter to the potential of power, whether it’s nature, divine, or wizardly. She ugly-cried when she saw the first map including it.

Brennan was incredibly relieved to get the Age of Arcanum over Aabria’s Kymal, because he was able to use the full weight of the established canon to build the world in retrospect. He especially loved the Aeor arc from C2, so this tied in beautifully with that.

“Fantasy is bad with time!” In Middle Earth, the best sword ever made was made 10,000 years ago; so are blacksmiths today emotionally distraught that they can’t get better? He much prefers Matt’s insistence on a calendar and growth and holidays and such to make it more grounded.

Brennan, on Aeor: “Yes, we have this lapsarian, Edenic thing necessary for the fantasy of populating a world with tons of dungeons and magical items because you need an ancient history for them to have come from,” but Calamity allows a grounding of that history’s existence without undermining the deeply tragic fall of the Age of Arcanum. He loved leaning into the differences between the ancient & modern worlds: Avalir had more technological advancements, Byzantine bureaucracies, etc., and he loved exploring the evolutionary paths of how to feed that into the modern world & Aeor's ruins. It let him fuck shit up without ruining the canon.

(Lapsarian: one who believes mankind has fallen from a higher state)

(Edenic: in the manner of Eden)

(Brennan also talks SO FAST y’all, criminy, and so many of his sentences are abandoned half-thoughts)

Aabria loves that he explained the Shattered Teeth. Matt jumps in here talking about how much he absolutely loves worldbuilding and collaborating on these pieces because it’s so much more freeing than coming up all of it in his brain by himself in his room.

He and Brennan spent an hour once discussing the cosmology and pantheon of Exandria while Marisha was at the vet with Omar (their corgi), including how gods relate to mortality. “I don’t get to have that conversation with just anyone!”

Brennan panicked when Sam & Luis went after Purvan in the show. He meant it to just be a cameo, but they expanded it past his plans. “Don’t make me explain this! This is a part I can really fuck up!”

Both Aabria & Brennan were so worried about breaking canon, but Matt loves that their choices instead clarified and enhanced canon, giving him things to build off of in future: “That’s much cooler than I was anticipating!” They expanded his world rather than breaking it.

“If you’re doing this at home, you can do whatever the fuck you want. Stop the Calamity!” Aabria: “If you see a tree and you don’t know what it’s doing, maybe just leave it alone.”

Aabria: “Every wizard is a yuppie. They wear their shoes to bed.”

What are Aabria & Brennan most proud of contributing to the world? Aabria: being light and irreverent about tragedies like the Chroma Conclave (Chroma spa cave), showing that nature heals and the past is not sacred. Matt loves having Taste of Tal’Dorei as Exandria’s own Casa Bonita. Matt loves finding humor in the darkness of humanity. Brennan: Humorlessness does not occur in nature. “Death is not a punchline, but it is a perfect setup.” He and his wife Izzy loved Everything Everywhere All at Once for the same reason (amazing movie!).

Brennan is most proud of how easily the Calamity crew handled the massive lore dumps he threw at them. Aabria had to learn 40 spell engines as part of her background. Brennan laughs about having texted Matt, “My job today is I’ve come up with 30 fake wizards.” Aabria felt really bad about how Llaerryn treated Madara, ha!

Brennan liked establishing that Vespin wasn’t a nihilist, he was hubristic. Vespin didn’t set out to release the Betrayers, he set out to achieve ambitions, which tied into the pattern of hubris evident in the Ring of Brass. Brennan loved painting the entire Age with this brush, showing that it wasn’t a coincidence, it was a trend over the entire age.

Matt loved how vibrantly Aabria brought Byroden to life--it’s better than he would have done himself. It completely changed his perspective on the city. Aabria shouts out Aimee regarding their conversations about Laredo, TX, and talks about how they wanted to find common threads that would reflect Vex & Vax as well as contrasting against Syngorn, which we saw more clearly in C1.

Brennan asks Matt about the misty history of Exandria. “It’s a little bit of the Matryoshka doll of the genesis” since C1 started in medias res. Aabria: “Who were you when you built this?” Matt: “Younger.”

It started as a city, Stilben only, for a home game for his VA friends. It was a oneshot without a country/continent name intended to be played for six hours on a weekend. Session two he built Westruun; when they got to session 3, he began building Tal’Dorei in Photoshop. He still has the old files of the early country.

He developed the name of the continent Exandria as the players expanded into neighboring countries. It was laying down the tracks right in front of the train, just developing things as needed. He notes that a lot of modern high fantasy is beautifully developed in aesthetic, but breaks down as soon as you try to dive into it. Brennan points out long-lived races with 150-year generations could theoretically date descendants without realizing.

The Calamity came out of Matt’s realization that there needed to be a recent historical event to reset the world. The Divergence was his attempt to rationalize the existence of all-powerful, all-knowing gods walking the planes and guiding the threads of fate, but then leaving great world-shaking danger to a handful of PCs. He wanted to come up with a reason the gods were removed from the world so that the players had to solve the problems themselves.

Brennan loves the idea of visiting the oldest part of a homebrewed world. If he were in Exandria, he’d want to go to Stilben. Oh my gosh, me too.

The Kryn dynasty was partly born out of a book Matt read about the idea of past lives.

There has never been a moment where Matt felt Exandria to be whole/finished. The pressure of having wikis listing out every contradiction he’s ever said does mean there’s a running list of things he needs to correct/address in future, which is its own kind of stress.

Brennan HILARIOUSLY calls out Matt for saying Tal’Dorei isn’t finished while the campaign guide is sitting right on the table in front of them. “This is not done? I’m just gonna go home. Not DONE? I got three months between seasons, okay. Welcome to Biggityburg, here we go. New city, new season. You wackity-schmackity doo, 10 episodes. Help me!”

Brennan points out that a ton of worldbuilding comes from improv in the moment passed off as fact. The players love it when they get the sense that you would pass out before running out of things to tell them about the world.

Brennan made his villains hot because Aabria made a hot spider queen. Matt laughingly says that he doesn’t make hot villains, he makes villains and the internet decides they’re hot.

Matt loves playing with new players and very experienced players; there’s a cycle. “When you first begin, you don’t know a lot of the boundaries. When you’re new to it, you make wider swings, bigger choices, you’re a kid learning how to walk for the first time and bumping into the furniture. Then you start coloring inside the lines because you’ve learned the rules, and then as you get more experienced you cycle back again” to breaking the rules with youthful abandon.

Brennan loves that the game MASTER is actually in a position of service. You’re making dinner for everybody. He praises Aabria for reading her players extremely well and giving them what they want.

Aabria asks about encounter map development. Matt prefers theater of the mind for smaller groups unless they prefer minis. However, with more players, the minis/maps help out a lot. He has been collecting minis for many years.

Brennan extols the virtues of Rick Perry, the production designer for Dimension 20, his D&D show. D20 has a lot of culture mashups (Candy Land Game of Thrones, high school for heroes, etc.), but those beautiful set pieces are often only used once. In his home games he uses lots of dry erase boards, Blu-Tack, and Othello pieces, which can be flipped over and written on the bottom of to track HP directly on the piece. He does prefer maps because he likes tactical play. For theater of the mind, he recommends checking in with the players a lot, because certain classes can get short shrift without clear/tangible tactical advantage (rogues, AoE spells, etc.). Maps with created elements also can lead to grist for player creativity--Reyka in the Bloodkeep series on Dropout was inspired by decorative chains that she used to tactically balloon her way out of a tight spot.

Matt also likes grids and hex maps for simple alignment without requiring a ton of prep. He recommends considering the terrain, enemy advantages and disadvantages, and a few interesting elements (like the chains) just to see what the players can do. He cites Orym’s messing with the augur machine which he’d intended to just be part of the scenery and using it to trap the Shape Mother.

Brennan: if you’re doing theater of the mind, don’t just breeze past environment or mood because that can open doors for the players. In the reverse, Matt points out that going hard into maps/minis can artificially limit what the players may think is useful unless they are experienced enough to ask questions about things in the room that might not be represented by the minis/maps.

Aabria’s prep time is roughly equivalent to the run time of the game she’s planning, just so she feels comfortable improvising. Brennan laughs that one time Izzy found him in the kitchen in the dark holding a container of half-and-half because he was so deep in thought about D&D. Matt will often start thinking about an NPC and embodying the physicality/voice in practice, and Marisha will call him out for talking to himself.

Brennan: “If you’re a dungeon master and you need some voices time, just don’t do it in the bathroom because other people in the apartment need sometimes to get in there, and if you’re in there doing voices time, they might remind you that that’s not the best place for that, and they might be brusque even though it’s kinda quiet and meditative in there.”

Matt has dozens of voice memos on his phone with various NPC voices he’s experimenting with.

Matt obsessively closes every tab in his office every time Marisha comes in in order to hoard his secrets.

Brennan: a home game should never have rails. D&D shows, however, have tentpoles; Rick Perry has to have guidelines for sets to create, so that’s different. He has to have character designs eight weeks before the first episode airs.

Brennan on rails, again: A player is looking for full immersion. Players aren’t generally trying to be storytellers themselves; they’re trying to inhabit a character who doesn’t know they’re in a story and is just trying to achieve a goal. However, the PLAYER wants the arc, so the player and character are at artistic odds. Characters are like water: they are running downhill seeking the path of least resistance. The players, however, don’t want the straight line. The DM’s job is to be the irrigator shaping the river running downhill; at the end of the story, the character ran in the straightest line possible to it, but the DM shaped the channel into something aesthetically pleasing in the process. The DM’s job is to recognize that the player’s & character’s goals may be disparate, and shaping the story to please both.

Matt adds that character story beat prep should be modular so that you can implement pieces that are important when it’s the best time for the story. Don’t lock critical information behind die rolls; don’t tie one piece of critical information behind one single NPC that they might never encounter. There should be many ways to achieve goals. Aabria likes the three-act structure because most people are familiar with that for movies, and good players who are also storytellers are great about lining up their shot in order to serve the plot. Having players recognizing the structure of the form is like having flowers turning towards the sun.

Brennan doesn’t remember a PC doing something that made a weight lift off his back in 24 years of DMing more than Llaerryn blighting the tree. It was such a perfect moment of a player serving the greater story. Aabria also using the bow as the last piece of her machine was a perfect way for Brennan to implement endgame steps, and he credits her for knowing how to help resolve the notes of the story. She was generously giving him the tools she knew he needed in service of the story.

Brennan talks about the first time Aabria DMed for him and mentioned, “And here’s what you don’t see,” and describes his own head popping off in the realization that you can do that?? He stole that immediately and has used it in his games ever since.

Matt talks about being very limited in his own style because prior to CR, so much of DMing was learned in a vacuum or in a limited friend group. He loves watching other live plays and seeing what other people are doing in completely different worlds. That excites him more than anything.

Favorite GM snacks? Brennan immediately addresses the camera in a classic Brennan rant. I’m so happy. “Let me be clear. This was put into this fucking questionnaire to come for me. If you’re at home and you’re afraid to tell your gaming group that you’re a snacker, I’ve got your back, okay? Because it’s okay to fucking snack. Some of us sweat from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to sleep. Some of our bodies are betraying us constantly. Would I have chosen this paper-white, fur-covered, constantly sweating body? No! I wouldn’t have! Does it require constant almonds? Yes! Almonds all the time, okay? And I’m not going to apologize to these two elevated beings, these two hovering pre-Skeksis pre-mystic light beings from The Dark Crystal--some of us are pod people, okay? I’m a little podling, and I need to snack. If I could have another mouth in my back--the biggest obstacle in my GMing, okay, is that the same place I talk from is where food needs to go! And I’m not sorry! I like to snack! And to answer your question, almonds.”

Aabria says Calamity was the least she’d seen him snack, which is how she knew he was nervous.

Brennan laughs that he hit the five-hour mark and his body immediately demanded a caffeine shot. As scary as the villains were, nothing scared Aabria more than Brennan saying, “We’re off keto.”

Aabria lusted after Brennan’s Funyuns, but couldn’t stand the idea of trying to have a romantic moment with Quay with onion breath.

Matt saw an internet comment about his eating early in the stream and stopped eating on stream after. :( However, he does find himself strongly in the moment DMing and loses his appetite anyway.

Brennan tells a hilarious story of getting in a car accident with some friends and eating a pizza and a half by himself out of anxiety afterwards. I have never identified with him more than in this moment.

And that’s it! What an awesome, meaty episode. Is it Thursday yet?

#talks machina #critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina spoilers #long post for ts #very long post for ts #exu calamity

[keirahknightley]

Costume appreciation series: Barbie (2023) dir Greta Gerwig

Costume Design by Jacqueline Durran

#barbie #barbieedit #filmedit #filmgifs #moviegifs #dailyflicks #junkfooddaily #cinemapix #userrobin #usersugar #arthurpendragonns #nessa007 #usermandie #tusersadie #ivashkovadrian #userliz #costumeedit #margot robbie #ryan gosling #* #mine: cas #i am genuinely SO very sorry for the length of this i tried but i failed #long post for ts

[elloras]

First Close Up // Last Close Up

#for a very very loose definition of close up but 'first/last decent solo shot that doesn't have someone else's face in it' #doesn't have the same ring to it #ted lasso #tedlassoedit #coach beard #rebecca welton #roy kent #jamie tartt #keeley jones #nate shelley #leslie higgins #trent crimm #sam obisanya #long post for ts #* #also these are overbrightened #idk what it is with me and 268p gifs

[orbmanson7]

Will Logan Ever Be Happy?

An Extensive Analysis of Logan Sanders' Spotify Playlist and Predictions for the Future of His Character Arc

Logan's Playlist on Spotify

Logan's Playlist on YouTube Music

A few quick notes before we delve in…

This is an extensive analysis in the sense that it's currently around 16,930 words long. Please feel free to read it at your own leisure.

The description of Logan's Playlist on Spotify explicitly states to listen to these songs in order of their listing. This indicates a progression of sorts – of feelings, events, and the plot of the story being told here. It is important that we listen in order, and it seems like Logan would prefer us to listen this way to best understand what it is he is trying to convey.

The repeated themes found throughout many of these songs include: isolation, depression, regret, nostalgia, perfectionism, miscommunication, being the odd one out of a group, recognition of flaws, loss of control, being disliked, a love and familiarity for learning, and finding solutions to problems.

It should also be noted that a handful of these songs are told in second-person perspective, using “you” to indicate a main subject, as though the story is being told by the speaker about someone else’s actions to that someone else, rather than explaining anything outright about themself or how they feel about it. By doing this, the speaker is instead choosing to focus on others and only allowing the listener to sense and interpret how the speaker was affected by what the other party in the song had said or done. This by itself can easily indicate Logan’s insistence to let others take that stage, even when it’s his turn to tell his story, or to show off the faults of others in lieu of focusing on his own failings.

It may be important to remember that as we continue.

The Elements by Tom Lehrer is a simple starter song, as we know. Logan began as a friendly teacher character, someone to help guide Thomas through learning and encouraging curiosity and wonder within him. He helped Thomas to find solutions to problems with the most useful answers, and implored him to keep trying, keep researching, until he truly understood a topic. This was something good, something commendable.

In particular, this song involves a listing of the complete periodic table of elements, something that Logan, as Thomas’ Logic, likely would have to have known very well, considering the focus of Thomas’ major in college. This would have been information Logan used frequently in Thomas’ studies and schoolwork prior to the events of the series, which helps to signify this early interpretation of Logan’s character.

This is the early beginnings. It’s a solid starting point, telling us what we need to know about Thomas’ perception of who he believes Logan is meant to be.

Immediately after, we have White and Nerdy by Weird Al Yankovic, which, similar to the first song, is meant to give us a sense of Logan’s character. Thomas sees him as a helpful teacher, but he also sees him as a very nerdy, reserved, uptight, and pretentious kind of person who likes learning trivia and reading mystery novels and watching sci-fi shows and doing puzzles and making wordplay jokes. This fleshes Logan out more as a character, not just showing us who Thomas sees but giving us more perspective on what to expect from him.

[lyrics:

I wanna roll with the gangsters

But so far, they all think I’m too white and nerdy]

Early on in the series, the sides only appeared momentarily to help offer suggestions and advice to Thomas relevant to what he needed. There seemed to be less cohesion with the group, mainly due to a lack of narrative at the time, but the sides still appeared to work together so long as each stayed in their respective areas of expertise. Despite that, lyrics in this song seem to imply Logan had already seen himself as an outlier to the rest of Thomas’ sides. He recognized that this came at fault of the interpretation of his character, the personality he displayed, his mannerisms, even his interests.

From the very start, Logan was being viewed as something different and distinct in comparison to the other sides.

These first two songs are meant to be reminiscent of not only our first impressions of Logan’s character, but also of Thomas’ overall impression of him early on in the series.

Within the first few episodes, this is how Logan was interpreted and seen, as a nerdy but supportive teacher-like character. Based on Thomas’ vine character of the same attire, Logan was originally meant to be respected but relatable, someone who could understand the kids he was teaching, but was also full of incredibly useful knowledge and knew exactly how to convey that information in a way that would encourage and enlighten those around him.

As one of Thomas’ sides, however, he was minimized to only being Thomas’ Logic, someone who still had an incredible wealth of knowledge and used it to teach and guide Thomas specifically, but he was also someone who was meant to be more stereotypically “nerdy” by Thomas’ standards. He was still able to act as an instructor to Thomas and to the audience watching, but his status of authority was diminished, because now he was no longer a teacher, he was merely another part of Thomas.

This is where Algorhthym by Childish Gambino comes into play. This song indicates a recognition of the world and how it functions, but also a fear to do anything about it, to step out of line. This lends to Logan’s perfectionism, yes, but it also shows that Logan is highly aware of his position as Thomas’ Logic, and what is expected of him. He knows very well that he does not perfectly fit the mold that Thomas has made for him to fill.

Early in the song, there are mentions of misunderstanding directions and testing the waters in objectionable ways.

[lyrics:

Made us the guinea pig and did it with no permission

Told her to call a friend, didn’t tell her to listen

So very scary, so binary, zero or one

Like code is like coal mine canary]

Being put in a position without a choice in the matter, Logan is very aware that he has a big role to fulfill. He’s being depended on to do his job right. But there has, at no point, been any guidance for him to follow. It’s not as though there’s a training manual out there on how to be Thomas Sanders’ Logic, which means Logan can only attempt to figure it out as he goes along.

Now, this is no different from the other sides, as they all lack any kind of instruction on how to do their jobs, either. They all just have to make mistakes and learn from them to improve and get better with time. And, typically, this should be a good thing, but in Logan’s particular case, his job requires him to be relied upon as the one with the answers and solutions, so if he’s seen as someone who makes mistakes, that ruins his ability to be trusted to give those answers in the first place.

Making mistakes would contradict his purpose as Thomas’ Logic, but if he didn’t make mistakes, he couldn’t learn from them and get better like the rest of them. However, it’s inevitable that he will make mistakes because he has no idea how to do this job because he didn’t have any training involved before he started. But if he makes mistakes, he could lose that job, or the job itself could become misconstrued or defunct due to his failures. It’s an unpleasant and repeated cycle with no clear end.

Logan aims for perfection, knowing the risk of failure is so high and comes with such consequence, but he still has hope that something might work out. He also doesn’t seem to have much of a choice otherwise.

But he's already beginning to loop back around in circles over this, even so early on into the series, and this leads him to questioning why the world works this way. Just why does it contradict itself so much?

[lyrics:

I dream in color, not black and white]

He already realizes that he is seeing everything in a different way than Thomas and the other sides do. The world is so much bigger than the arbitrary parameters that are being set for it. Understanding and learning may need rigid guidelines to teach a beginner, to not overwhelm them, but once you know the basics, you can take those training wheels off and start exploring just about anywhere. If you want to try more adventurous feats, you’ll need better gear, more specified knowledge, but it’s not as though you are barred from entry. There is always more to learn, you simply have to go looking for it.

But the world somehow seems to think that’s not the case. Many believe that you either know something or you don’t, or that things can only be either one way or another, with no nuance involved. Instead of understanding all the shades of gray and color in between every moment, every idea, that there’s fluidity and the ability to shift and change at almost every turn, they choose to rely on what they’ve already learned and refuse to challenge it, even when the opportunity arises to do so. The world has so much more to offer than the black-and-white to which people often cling.

There’s so much space in between every atom, infinite amounts of empty air, that which we can barely comprehend, yet we see an object, a person, or any full form as completely solid, contradicting what we expect. We may say a penguin cannot fly, and yet you could put one as a passenger on an airplane and that could be considered flying. It has just done what was thought impossible. It is all about our perspective and the rules we set in place for our world that limits what we believe we know and understand, but that doesn’t mean that’s how the world actually works.

Unfortunately, changing someone’s mind can be very difficult, especially when you’re the one who contributed to them learning those basics to help them conceptualize the topic in the first place. It can be very hard to teach someone that knowledge is genuinely limitless, especially when they have found less use for it as time goes on and no longer have a desire to keep learning.

The song then indicates that the way a human behaves doesn’t always make logical sense, but that they value their life and experiences.

[lyrics:

Humans don’t understand, humans will sell a lie

Humans gotta survive, we know we gon’ die

Nothing can live forever, you know we gon’ try

Life, is it really worth it? The algorhythm is perfect, mmh]

Logan can comprehend this notion, even if he doesn’t quite understand and see the world in the same way as Thomas does; even if he believes some of his actions are illogical, he knows Thomas’ ability to live his life to the fullest is something memorable. He can recognize its importance overall, even if he doesn’t fully agree with how it’s done.

Logan likely comes to realize by this point, even so early on, that compromise is the best option here, just as we saw in the episode The Mind vs The Heart. Even if he doesn’t see things in the same way as others, he can still meet someone halfway, and hope that they can meet him halfway in return.

However, nothing is ever that easy, it seems. Just because he’s willing to step back and take another’s perspective into account does not mean others will do the same for him.

This more or less encapsulates the rest of the song from his perspective. He learns to stop challenging that which doesn’t want to be challenged, attempts to follow what is expected of him, even if what is expected of him is a perfection that he is unsure can even be achieved. He has to compromise some of these details and nuances so that the world can still run on its bizarre rules, for Thomas’ sake, and this results in him having to step away from his goals to make way for the others’ instead, or even to be pushed away when his insistence to the contrary isn’t appreciated, like we saw in the episode Moving On Pt 1: Exploring Nostalgia.

He learned fairly well that day that sometimes emotions took priority over intelligence, and even if Logan didn’t fully comprehend the purpose they served in solving that dilemma, he was attempting to find a proper answer that would be of benefit to Thomas regardless. But what he learned instead was that his efforts were unwanted simply because he was viewing the situation from a very different perspective than the others were.

As such, he began to learn not to question these parameters that the world operates upon. He needs to do what he can Within those parameters to ensure Thomas’ survival and simply hope that he’ll thrive with knowledge (and Logan) as his guide.

And that is exactly why the next song is Fitter Happier by Radiohead. The whole song is a monotonous text-to-speech vocalization of varying guidelines one may expect for someone to appear as and/or be human. As the list goes on, the more inhuman the stipulations become, betraying the real purpose behind the list, that this is someone attempting to appear perfectly human while misunderstanding what that means entirely.

Again, Logan was never given a guide on how to do his job, so he had to just make it up as he went along and attempt to do it perfectly without any help or reassurance. From Logan’s perspective, he knows his goal is to make sure Thomas survives to live his happy life, but his expertise in helping Thomas achieve this relies on knowledge and facts, not emotions or empathy. This results in Logan’s attempts coming off as unempathetic, cold, and strict, not to mention completely missing the point of living.

But because he is doing this solo, and because he has awareness of the consequences of failure, he is aiming for perfection and doing his best with what resources he does have – which happens to be his own intelligence and what he can learn through research. Unfortunately, when it comes to life and living, Logan’s limited only to the facts, and his primary focus is Thomas’ survival, nothing more.

[lyrics:

Not drinking too much

Regular exercise at the gym, three days a week

Getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries

At ease

Eating well, no more microwave dinners and saturated fats

A patient, better driver]

This is why some of the lyrics list guidelines such as “regular exercise at the gym” or “eating well, no more microwave dinners and saturated fats.” These are the types of recommendations you would hear from a doctor or nutritionist, examples of efforts that may result in longer life. If someone only cared about extending their life or living healthily, these would be excellent suggestions. But when they are devoid of any emotion, removed from relationships with family and friends, absent of aspirations and goals for someone to enjoy said life, the suggestions instead become robotic and inhuman. Yes, you can live longer by following these steps, but you may not enjoy the extra time you are given to do so if you only follow these suggestions and nothing more.

This is something that was discussed during the Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning? episode, where Logan asserts that creating a balance of daily tasks to maintain his wellbeing will allow Thomas to live a long life. Roman argues that if Thomas spends all his time taking care of himself, it doesn’t give him enough time to pursue his dreams and he insists that he must instead take risks and give priority to his aspirations. In the end, Thomas found his motivation in a balance of both of these recommendations, that he should maintain his health while also taking the chance to achieve his goals.

While a human genuinely needs that balance, to have both sides of this argument included to find true motivation to keep going, these individual sides within Thomas are always likely to see their own mindset and opinion on the matter as the priority, as the “right” way to do things. This is exemplified by Patton’s addition during the end credits scene, where he offers his opinion on the topic about having the opportunity to add positivity to the world. His belief is only an addition to the discussion and wouldn’t detract from Logan and Roman’s suggestions, but it shows that each of Thomas’ sides have their own views on what the real answer is meant to be and that they do not agree on this notion, even if they do see eye-to-eye at times or are willing to work together for Thomas’ sake.

This song is likely meant to remind us of that episode specifically, and what Logan’s opinions on the matter were at that time, indicating his goal is for Thomas to maintain a balanced and healthy lifestyle so that he has the ability to survive and live a long life. It shows us that without the others, there is a lack of balance, but it also shows that Logan is striving for perfection, with special regard to Thomas’ needs, not necessarily his wants or desires. After all, that’s Roman’s department, right?

And this is a big factor in why the sides don’t often get along with each other. They each have their own idea of what is actually best for Thomas, and when it comes to Logan, he has an easier time arguing his points because he has all the data to back him up. This doesn’t keep the others from fighting against him, nor does it keep Thomas from taking the others’ side anyway on many occasions, but it’s still something he can rely on when everyone else is against him.

But even if he cares about Thomas’ survival most, is what he’s proposing truly the “right” way to go about it?

If he learned anything from Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning?, the ending of this song may indicate he recognizes that Thomas may well live a long life with his suggestions, but would not necessarily be happy in that life, so perhaps perfection isn’t the right goal to have in mind.

Happiness, however, can be very subjective. For instance, happiness to Logan would likely involve the satisfaction of a job well done, or the opportunity to learn something new, so what would life for Thomas be if he couldn’t have that?

This is what leads us into the next song, Medicine by STRFKR, which continues the thoughts on perfectionism and the problems that arise from it. Perhaps due to the events associated with the last song, Logan has come to realize that the goal of being perfect is either truly unattainable or, as this song seems to suggest, prevents the desire to continue learning once reached. Logan, of course, would not want Thomas to have peaked when it comes to obtaining knowledge, as there will always be something you don’t know, there will always be something new to learn. If perfection removes a desire to know more, he wouldn’t be able to encourage Thomas to learn anything new, even something for his survival. As such, his goal of perfection is flawed.

However, this now completely conflicts with his earlier notions about his own aspirations of perfection, as he must be knowledgeable and helpful for Thomas, to provide him with what he needs without flaw, without failure. He must be perfect, but perfection is not possible. He must be perfect, but perfection begets disinterest and prevents further learning. So, perfection should not be his goal because it will be of overall detriment to Thomas.

His new goal needs to be something else, but he must still maintain something as close to perfection as possible, because Thomas’ perception of him cannot be altered. Thomas will still expect perfection of him, but he can never truly attain it because it’s both impossible and would ultimately remove his purpose to Thomas as Logic. Such a feat is even more difficult to achieve than perfection, so he’s very much stuck at this point and will need to figure out a new solution to this complicated problem.

[lyrics:

Sorry

So helpless

So help you

Any way you like]

When in doubt, Logan knows he can turn to one thing: Thomas’ preference on the matter. If Logan can’t decide on the best course of action, he will instead choose whatever it is that Thomas wants, as that is how he may obtain his happiness even when working with a less-than-perfect Logic.

After all, if perfection was not the true goal, then perhaps it was meant to be whatever Thomas wanted instead. Logan didn’t need to reach perfection, he just needed to reach Thomas’ expectations. The goalpost had moved, but it was still in sight, and now he’d just have to create a new strategy in order to find success, meaning it was time for some experimentation to his approach.

[lyrics:

(spoken behind music)

The following of them does not depend on believing in anything, in obeying anything, or on doing any specific rituals

Although rituals are included for certain purposes because it is a purely experimental approach to life]

Between the events of Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning? and Learning New Things About Ourselves was a fun little promo episode known as Crofter's: The Musical, and while it may not seem all that relevant in the grand scheme of things, it’s important to remember the focus of the episode relied on Logan’s extraordinary adoration of Crofter's jam.

Given his love for the product, he was ecstatic at his opportunity to be recognized through that which he admired – by being featured on a specialized version of the product itself. It’s a high honor, it’s respectable, it’s cherished. This is a great moment for Logan, seeing a lot of his efforts come to fruition in an interesting and unique way.

However, it is soured by Roman’s bruised ego, as he prefers his spotlight and sees this one moment as Logan being viewed more favorably than him overall, and then it is further ruined by the mention of Logan’s wordplay and puns throughout the episode as him acting unusual, notably unserious. Logan becomes rather concerned during the end credits scene as the others point this out about him, and he realizes that he needs to maintain the status quo after all.

His experimentation in finding a balance, of what was acceptable and what was not, resulted in him understanding that he could not engage in sillier interests publicly so as not to alter the others’ perception of him and his purpose to Thomas or tarnish his reputation as a practical, reliable, knowledgeable side. He must continue to keep emotions removed from his position as Logic, even with perfection off the table as a motivating factor.

Now, before we move on to the next song, I want to re-establish whereabout in the timeline of the series we are by this point.

We had the early origins near the start with The Elements song and White and Nerdy, which likely took place somewhere within the first couple episodes that featured Logan. We dipped into Algorhythm, which likely took place around the time the actual plot and deeper characterization began appearing in the show, somewhere between The Mind vs The Heart and Moving On Pt 1 & 2. Then, Fitter Happier seems to strike some similar chords as the episode Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning? from Logan’s perspective alone, meaning we’re fairly far into the series already. Medicine is somewhere around Crofters: The Musical, which means we are about to get to Learning New Things About Ourselves.

That was an episode that definitely served as a big turning point for Logan and how he readdressed his role as Thomas’ Logic and perceived how he was meant to fulfill his position.

This is also the point in the playlist where things seem to take a much darker and negative turn.

For now, we move on to the next song, which is The Watchtower by The Dø.

Now, @intrulogical has a great analysis of the meaning that may be associated with this song from Logan’s perspective, that Logan may overthink and prefer to hide away from others out of shame when he doesn’t perform adequately, that he recognizes his mistakes and has, on multiple occasions, offered to leave the discussion in order to benefit the others and Thomas. He has taken to suggesting his removal from the situation when he doesn’t seem to have the solution they need or when he has become emotional in times where he shouldn’t be, meaning that he has come to realize it may be a better option for him to leave, rather than stay and potentially make the situation worse.

We already know that he has come to understand perfection is not possible but must still maintain something akin to it, feeling shame when mistakes are inevitable. We know he experimented with his approach to no avail, where he learned he must remain emotionless and cold to be successful. The amount of stress from trying to meet expectations, maintain restrictions, and adapt himself for the others’ benefit is beginning to take its toll on him.

The Watchtower is a song that seems to suggest Logan’s methods are what make him a true outlier among the group, but the lyrics literally start out with “I’m breaking, I need another start” which would mean this is a reaction to his stressful situation, not an action Logan chose in advance.

But he is still prepared when reacting like this. He has weighed the options; he has taken past experiences into account. He has more knowledge now on how to be Thomas’ Logic in a way that fits Thomas’ expectations, and he is no longer blindly attempting to do his best without failure and is instead using what failures he’s already had to recontextualize his understanding and guide his next actions.

But he still needs to appear as flawless as he possibly can, for Thomas and the others, so that he still embodies his role as Logic, so that he can still be relied on and trusted to do his job. While he recognizes perfection is not possible, he will still get as close to it as he can.

While stress may be a factor, this may explain some of the true motivation behind his desire to hide away in these moments, or at least his belief that it would be easier to solve these dilemmas from farther away.

[lyrics:

From the watchtower

Where we can see things coming

Good or bad, at least we see things coming

From the watchtower

Where we can read the future

Whatever it says, at least we know what’s up]

Within these lyrics, we can see that this is a very divorced perspective to have, as though Logan prefers to solve issues from a distance, removed from the situation itself and able only to view it, not directly interact with the parties involved.

Using his influence on Thomas to solve the issue without being present in Moving On Pt 2 after he abruptly left in Moving On Pt 1, Logan has shown that he can be successful when he isn’t there to be talked over and insulted, be overwhelmed by everyone’s emotions and concerns, or have his own uncontrolled emotional outbursts. He can stay unbiased, practical, and clear-headed from a distance and achieve the best results.

This explains why he attempted to leave after his outburst in the episode Learning New Things About Ourselves, because he had seen prior success in doing so.

However, it’s clear that there are some consequences to this approach.

[lyrics:

I don’t mind

if I’m impopular

I’m thinking

And no one in particular]

Another repeated notion throughout the series that Logan is now well aware of is that he is not very well liked. While this seems to stem from a combination of the expectations put on him and his stricter handling of the others’ more outlandish ideas, at this point, and the lyrics suggest he tries to make it seem as though it doesn’t bother him. But we know otherwise, because Logan does continue to attempt to garner favor from Thomas, the other sides, and the audience. It’s why he picked up the slang word flashcards, and it’s partly why he tries to use more relatable metaphors and analogies to explain complicated subjects. He does want to be liked, respected, and Heard, even if he claims otherwise.

His attempts to remove himself from the group to benefit Thomas and perform his duties from afar only seem to add to this dislike that’s been building for him. His absence prevents him from building and maintaining any relationship with the other sides (not that he was making much progress with that around that time in the series regardless). When he has his outburst in Learning New Things About Ourselves and tries to then leave the discussion entirely, he is quickly stopped by Patton who insists he stay instead. He would have preferred to leave, knowing he was more beneficial to Thomas if he was unemotional. Unfortunately, because he stays, he is unable to resolve the issue for Thomas like he had before, and instead spent the rest of the episode uncomfortable and unable to relate to the emotional concepts that were applied.

He comes away from that situation recognizing his own misunderstanding of the others’ actions in their attempts to help Thomas, but there is no solution found, only a slight improvement to Thomas’ mood about the discussion on the whole. And on Logan’s part, he was also left without a solution, resulting in him adding this as another failure to his list and believing that he will need to do more to better accommodate the other sides and Thomas’ emotions in order to achieve the best results.

[lyrics:

I’m breaking

I need another start

Far away from the city lights]

This follows the lyrics at the end of the song, repeating exactly how it started. Nothing was resolved here; Logan only sees his mistake and feels ashamed for it. He still wants to solve Thomas’ issues from a distance, but now he’s more aware of the emotional stakes that he hadn’t been implementing in his solutions before this point.

He has decided that he’ll do better, but he isn’t sure how to do that exactly, and he’s still hurting, but that’s left unacknowledged.

And Logan only comes to realize that the others are pulling away after this, as we see in Selfishness vs Selflessness, where he wasn't included in the courtroom scenario and pushed to the back and out of the way after the one moment where he could be helpful.

Logan can see that this is what Thomas and the others want for him, to stay out of their way, because he apparently can't understand them in the way they prefer. Never mind the fact that the inverse is true, too.

And that leads us to the next song, The Breach by clipping.. At a minimum, this song is very concerning, but also a helpful indicator as to what seems to be happening and possibly even why.

[lyrics:

Generally operating normally

A small anomaly has become evident

And probably should be noted]

In simple terms, something has changed, and likely not for the better. Something is different.

If we’re aware of the timeline of the story, this is sometime after the episode Learning New Things About Ourselves, which means it's likely about Remus’ arrival in Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts and how it signifies Thomas’ declining mental health.

Something specific that should be mentioned about this song first is its lyrics. They are read as a computer observing a situation, assessing the variables, and stating plainly the solution to be enacted by others. This is similar to what Logan was able to successfully do in Moving On Pt 2 and would have preferred to use as his approach in Learning New Things About Ourselves, which is to stay distant from the situation itself but address everything calmly and without emotional disruption.

However, the lyrics are also given in very quick succession, indicating a hastiness to the necessity of these instructions. This could mean that if the subject does not act swiftly, the results may not be optimal.

[lyrics:

First: the recommended course of action should be to

Administer a sedative to all the cargo via ventilation

The ship is fully capable of automating this

But requires an approval code from the administration]

As he learned in Learning New Things About Ourselves, Logan has to better accommodate the other sides’ emotions (as well as Thomas’) and their concerns on the matter in order to competently resolve the issue, so appearing and calmly explaining what needs to be done is the approach he chose. But that didn’t work out at first due to the same issues he’s been having this whole time, which is everyone’s reluctance to listen to him as well as their insistence on keeping him out of the group, especially while they are all so emotional themselves in that moment.

In order for this to work, he would need to convince Thomas and the others to trust him and to listen to what he had to say. In reality, Logan can only give them the advice they need here, he can’t actually fix it for them, hence the lyric, “but requires an approval code from the administration.” They can’t logic their way out of this but using logic can guide them away from the overly emotional response and provide the instructions needed to find that solution.

Logan applies the instructions from the song – administer a sedative? Calm the others back down. The importance of alacrity? Speak with confidence, stay positive. Send security immediately? Logan took charge of the situation at hand because no one else was handling it.

Logan keeps himself level-headed, refuses to show any emotional response (not to Remus, not to Virgil, not to Patton), and displays his worth as Thomas’ Logic to the best of his ability. And it works fairly well, as he manages to calm the other sides and Thomas down while also warding Remus off and tiring him out. It took longer than he probably expected, but he accomplished what he had set out to do.

Despite the end of the song sounding like an electric-powered warzone, the episode Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts had ended on a positive note for Logan, as he was praised by Thomas for being cool, with how he handled the situation so smoothly and didn’t let anything affect him. This marked a success for Logan, and he now knows that addressing situations with swift action, getting right to the point while also allowing for the other parties to vent their feelings on the matter, and staying composed and unemotional himself while addressing the problem was the best course of action, at least while Thomas was in this type of mindset and far more stressed than he had been in the past.

Perhaps he really has finally figured out how to be a proper Logic for Thomas after all.

Unfortunately, whatever elation he had in that episode doesn’t last long, as our next song, Letter C by Zach Sherwin, is all about being embarrassed by others and reflecting back on the situation later to think of something cleverer that could have been said in response.

As this is something he has dealt with a handful of times in the series as a whole, Logan wishing he could have thought up a better comeback to the others’ insults in the moment is not unheard of, and it could easily be inferred that he’s done this type of reflection on his own many times.

[lyrics:

And now it’ll linger forever but I’ve been stewin’ over

What I’d say to him if I could do it over]

The song lyrics mention how this situation lingers, that it’s something Logan thinks about repeatedly, even though we know there have been multiple moments like this. He remembers it for a long time, he thinks back on each one, wishing he could have done something more when he had the chance.

This is a moment more steeped in pride than obligation to his duty as Logic, however. While his desire to be viewed as clever and informed comes from the expectations of him as Thomas’ Logic, his desire to be respected as Better than the other sides in this particular way does not.

As was told in Learning New Things About Ourselves, it seems Logan habitually criticizes the others and becomes more standoffish in response to stress and a lack of order, as though the lack of control in a situation supercedes his judgement on how to behave among the other sides. In attempt to regain that control, he tries to place himself and his importance in the matter above others, which only causes additional problems.

In reality, all the sides should be balancing each other out, but the system currently in place is not balanced at all, and we often see sides like Logan further down the ranks than others on a regular basis. This can explain his desire to level it back out or rise even higher, to prove that he should be listened to and respected, and he could easily convince himself that his reason for this desire stems from his necessity to Thomas as opposed to any correlated feelings of shame or pride.

Thomas needs his logical side, someone to act as his voice of reason when the others are too emotional and rowdy, someone to provide unbiased facts instead of the others’ leaning opinions, someone that he can trust to always be in his corner and do what’s best for him every time. While the others turn Thomas’ gaze to the future or the past, Logan does everything he can to keep him steady in the present, so long as Thomas actually listens.

Logan had spent a lot of time to change and be better for Thomas, to meet and exceed his expectations. He adapted his thoughts, his methods, his temperament, all to best accommodate Thomas and his needs. So, it makes a lot of sense that he’d have a lot left unsaid after everything he has tolerated throughout the series. He wishes he could have the respect he believes he’s owed instead of continuing to endure insults left and right, but for now, he can only make up such scenarios where he comes out on top in his mind.

A moment of respite comes with what's next on the playlist, Galaxy Song from Monty Python (as sung by Stephen Hawking), which has a delightful message of enjoying the wonder found in our universe. There’s already so much to learn on our planet, but there’s endlessly more available to us out in the rest of the ever-expanding universe.

The song jabs at the inevitable stupidity of some people but chooses not to complain or find a way to be better than them. Instead, one should choose to refocus on something positive, to distract themself rather than to dwell on it. It’s better to think about something you enjoy rather than something you hate, right? And this makes it seem as though it’s a response to the last song in this way, that Logan has dealt with another insult or stressful situation and was unable to respond in the way he preferred, so now he’s choosing to ignore it and think about something fascinating to pass his time in a healthier and nonjudgmental way. Ignoring the situation is no better than stewing over it, but at least this way he gets to think about something he appreciates.

Neither of these songs seem to have a particular place in the overall storyline from the series, by the way. They seem to embody multiple similar occurrences over the course of the show, indicating that this has happened before, continues to happen, and will likely keep happening in the future. However, it’s not a great situation to repeatedly have to handle, especially if Logan is still as stressed as we know he is, and if he simply keeps permitting it to happen without speaking up properly about why it bothers him, then it will never change.

The next song, Streaks, is itself a very interesting song that embodies a lot of nostalgia, both good and bad, that Logan holds about his past with Thomas – teaching him, helping him study, guiding his path through school and college. Sadly, we know that Thomas proceeded to let his Chemical Engineering degree collect dust so he could instead pursue an acting career and become a successful Youtuber as an adult. To Logan, these more creative interests overtook his studies and Thomas’ potential for a stable and well-earning career.

[lyrics:

All these years of filling out papers

Building a future

Keeping your head down

Tryin’ to keep a head on your shoulders

Keep it creative

Make it your own somehow]

From these lyrics, we can see the inclusion of creativity as a secondary to getting the work done, showing something that was discussed in Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning? as Logan proposed that Thomas maintaining a healthy lifestyle and doing his work tasks needed to take priority over creative pursuits and aspirations. This could imply that, during Thomas’ school years, Logan may have had a lot more say in what Thomas should do to be successful in his classes and to get into college, and that he didn’t turn away Thomas’ interest in creativity but preferred it to not take priority over his schoolwork.

But, as we know, what may have started as a creative outlet soon grew into a genuine interest and then a full acting career that negated the entire point of all of Logan’s hard work. If Thomas had wanted to be an actor or a Youtuber all along, why did Logan put so much effort into getting Thomas to study, to do his work, to get into college, to earn his degree? He couldn’t even be proud of such an accomplishment because it served no purpose to Thomas as an adult. It didn’t signify anything except wasted effort on Logan’s part.

[lyrics:

Throw ‘em in the water

Let ‘em sink or float

Give ‘em what they need to move on

Then you let them go]

This sounds like something you’d hear from a parent watching their child grow up and move onto adulthood and pursue their own life away from the family home.

Logan had done his part, he taught and guided Thomas in everything he needed to know in order to achieve success. And when it came time for Thomas to follow through, he proceeded to veer off to a completely different path and Logan could do nothing but watch it happen. Thankfully, though, Thomas Had found success, just not in a way that Logan had expected.

He hadn’t even prepared for this type of eventuality – it was unknown territory.

But Logan could adapt, he could make this work. He’d shown he was able to overcome past obstacles, and he found ways to implement research and education into Thomas’ creative career, giving him an opportunity to still learn something new. He just needed to stay relevant and keep Thomas’ interest and continue encouraging him to learn. However, that proved much harder to do when Thomas refused to listen to him.

Thomas had grown to require much less from Logan over time, having moved away from the days of tests and studying to bigger and better adventures. It left Logan with very little to do for Thomas but maybe to appear when he had no one else to turn to.

It was as though it wasn’t just Thomas’ degree that he’d placed up on a shelf to collect dust, but Logan, too. To stay tucked away, unused for years, only ever coming in handy for very specific situations and nothing but an embarrassment or eyesore in others. What use could he possibly have anymore? Why should Thomas be proud of him when he didn’t need him for anything?

Now, if you’ve noticed, these past few songs seem to lean more heavily toward emotions than the ones that came before them. Letter C was about embarrassment and feeling shame over his mistakes and how he’s been treated, trying to use his pride to combat it. The Galaxy Song was about relief and ignoring the situation to escape to wonder and curiosity as a coping mechanism. And now Streaks is about nostalgia, the wistful longing for what once was, and the painful memory of what came of that despite all his effort.

He’s embarrassed, he’s running away from the problem, he’s sad.

You see, Logan is trying to find a solution here by using something similar to what the other sides might try when they are the ones struggling. He’s copying their methods. Roman leans on his pride to sooth his ego and to make himself feel better, Virgil runs away and hides from his issues, and Patton delves into nostalgia and strengthens his sadness, feeling it deeply.

This implies that Logan doesn’t quite understand how to handle whatever it is that he is feeling, but he's paid close enough attention to what the others have done, even if he doesn't understand why or how it's meant to help. Now that he's searching for some sort of solution on his own, he experiments, tries something new based upon his research and facts, rather than asking for any kind of help.

Remember, he can’t tarnish his image as a near-flawless Logic that is supposed to already know everything, who they’re supposed to be able to rely on. So, he will have to solve this one on his own, too, by just trying things out until he eventually gets it right. That is what the experimental approach is for, after all.

But these emotional songs are only the beginning, and they’re about to take a stark turn.

Next is What I Do For U by Ra Ra Riot, which is a song absolutely steeped in frustration and anger. In so few lyrics, it says a lot of what Logan has been mulling over lately in the storyline. We know his frustration over everything has been building more and more.

[lyrics:

I want you to survive

Anything you need]

This song gets right to the point with its opening lyrics and even the chorus. It tells us that Logan’s efforts, all these recommendations to Thomas, all the schedules and planning, all this encouragement for him to eat healthy and take better care of himself, all his guidance and advice and helpfulness serve one purpose and one purpose alone – to help Thomas survive.

[lyrics:

What I do for you

I do for you]

Everything he does, he does for Thomas.

But does Thomas recognize that? It doesn’t seem so.

And this, of course, bothers Logan. It doesn’t just bother him, it angers him. Logan has put in so much of his time and energy over the years into doing everything perfectly for Thomas, with no help in doing so this entire time. Prioritizing Thomas’ wellness over everything, listening to the others even when he couldn’t understand their emotions, remaining level-headed and calm around their puns and insults and threats, hiding his interests and holding back his words so they wouldn’t think less of him. He has worked against obstacles and odds of which the others aren’t even aware. He has bent and molded and reshaped himself in so many ways to better accommodate everyone else, to match their expectations, to make them happy. He did it for them.

But what does he get in return? Mocked, disrespected, and ignored.

And, worst of all, Logan knows just how important he is to Thomas! Well, in function, at least. Thomas would not survive without Logic, and yet Logan seems to be the only one to recognize that fact. He can’t even be respected for his function, his purpose in keeping Thomas alive and well. It’s one thing if they didn't like Logan, but wasn’t the fact that he was needed for Thomas’ survival enough for them to tolerate him, at the very least?

[lyrics:

I’m your only hope

And I’m your savior too

Every single test

You’ve been ever carried through]

On top of that, and as we saw in the Working Through Intrusive Thoughts asides episode, Logan has been attempting to solve Thomas’ issues by himself, relying on his knowledge and experience with Thomas to determine the best approach in every situation without consulting the other sides at all. At some point in the series, Logan came to believe that he was the only one who actually cared about what Thomas needed, that he was somehow the only one actually keeping Thomas alive. He believes he is the only side who’s clear-headed enough to handle Thomas’ problems, the only one who can act as a voice of reason, the only one who offers practical and useful solutions.

This is, unfortunately for Logan, not actually true, but it makes sense why he would come to this conclusion, considering that every side disagrees on what they think is best for Thomas. The other sides tend to focus on their own self-interests and goals as guiding factors while Logan is the one who deals the most in absolutes and factual information. Something that Roman suggests can be complete fantasy, impossible to ever achieve. Something that Patton suggests can be unreasonable to follow through on or would only hurt Thomas in the long run. Something that Virgil suggests can be rooted in negativity and self-doubt, bringing Thomas’ mental health down as a result. Janus’ suggestions can be incredibly biased and not always socially acceptable. Remus’ suggestions…well. They can be both uncomfortable as well as impractical.

But Logan never gives impossible, impractical, or biased recommendations to Thomas. He uses research to find what would work best for the situation, then applies it to his knowledge and experience with Thomas to determine what would suit him most, and then suggests it outright, explaining in simple terms a way in which it can be implemented.

He does all the hard work for Thomas, so that all he’ll have to do is simply follow through. Each time, he does this with Thomas and his needs at the forefront of every offer.

Yes, he can go overboard a bit, just like all the other sides, but he thinks that just means he needs to be flexible and allow for some exceptions to balance things out, allow Thomas to be happy in his survival. After all, he has learned so much over the course of this series, hasn’t he?

He learned to compromise with those he disagreed with in The Mind vs The Heart. He learned that too much or too little of any side’s influence could bring detriment to Thomas in Accepting Anxiety Pt 1 & 2. He learned that emotions could override intelligence and present a major problem in Moving On Pt 1 & 2. He learned that finding some balance between his suggestions and the others’ was optimal in Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning?. He learned that such balance could not be applied to himself as he had to maintain his role as an unemotional Logic and stay serious in Crofters: The Musical. He learned that he needed to expand his understanding of why Thomas preferred emotions over intelligence despite the need for both in Learning New Things About Ourselves. He learned that the other sides and Thomas could apparently solve their issues without his presence in Selfishness vs Selflessness. He learned that his method of taking action and solving the issue for them when they were too emotional to do it themselves was more efficient in Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts. He learned that, despite his willingness to help, the others much preferred to solve issues without him in Putting Others First. He learned that his method of efficiency in solving Thomas’ problems on his behalf was not particularly welcome and would not earn him the respect he desired in Working Through Intrusive Thoughts. He learned that despite continued efforts, the others still won’t listen to him or to each other in Have I Grown? – Five Years Later. He learned that, as the logical side, the others would always assume he was against them and their ideas in Can Plushies Improve Our Health?

He's learned…a lot. Overall, he has concluded that he is needed but not wanted, that he has the answers but not the perfect method to apply them, that he apparently should allow for emotions to guide the other sides and Thomas while keeping himself cut off from them entirely, and that he should be implementing logic only where it is most required or when specifically requested.

Logan has found what he believes should work best for Thomas, but has also realized that Thomas is refusing to listen. Thomas doesn’t want to do things that benefit him, he doesn’t want to do things that will make him feel better, and Logan certainly can’t force him to do them, either, even when he’s sure it will help. Are the suggestions the problem or is it because it’s Logan suggesting them that keeps him from doing it?

Logan is very determined to perform his function, to keep Thomas alive and well. He wants to empower him to overcome the mental health difficulties he’s been facing lately, and to allow him to take care of his needs, but Logan’s doing all of this by himself because he doesn’t believe anyone else is capable nor wants to do what has to be done.

The other sides prefer to only dabble in the fun parts, the emotional parts, and leave the complicated and messy stuff to Logan alone. And if Thomas refuses to listen just because it’s Logan telling him the answer, then it puts everything at a standstill, including Logan’s purpose for even being there.

It frustrates him. He feels like he’s been put in this unwinnable position, always made out to be the bad guy when all he does is care about Thomas’ survival and wellbeing.

[lyrics:

I couldn’t ever give up on you

But don’t thank me]

He, quite literally, could never stop doing his job as Thomas’ Logic. He could never stop doing his part, keeping everything afloat, making sure that Thomas can still function, even when Thomas’ mental health is fighting against him at every turn.

Throughout all of Working Through Intrusive Thoughts, we see Logan pause or postpone his plans so he can redirect Thomas and attempt to salvage his mental health, give him time to refocus. He knows it’s a priority right now. He has learned time and time again that emotions are more important than logic in this world, even if logic is the reason he knows and can implement ways to help Thomas to calm down and manage those emotions.

Logan knows by now that he can only help when he’s asked to or when he’s needed most, but after every obstacle and barrier he’s managed to push through, after being the only one who cares enough to do anything to help, he’s left tired and frustrated. He just wants Thomas to listen, for once, for his own benefit, so that he might understand what it is Logan hasn’t been able to say because he’s been pushed down and away for so long.

He shouts out “Stop ignoring me!” to Remus, but Remus knows it’s not really him that he wants to yell that at, and he’s right. Logan’s frustration is mostly with Thomas, and this song shows that very clearly.

He won’t give up on him because he physically can’t, but maybe he has stopped caring about why that is. Maybe he will just do his job, meet the bare minimum of expectations, and not care about the rest anymore.

When Thomas asks him “What’s next?” in the Have I Grown? anniversary video, Logan simply responds, “You tell me.”

He knows his opinion doesn’t matter. He knows no one listens to what he has to say. His suggestions are ignored, his advice is unwanted. Why should he bother giving a damn any longer if Thomas and the other sides clearly don’t give a damn about him?

And that’s where we get to the next song, Erase Me by Ben Folds Five.

This is a very pivotal moment, and it’s notable that it seems to be something that will happen in the near future of the series, because, as of the last song, we have already surpassed all currently released (and relevant) episodes of Sanders Sides in this timeline of the playlist. Erase Me will be related to whatever happens next in Logan’s arc, which also means everything from here on out is more of a prediction than an analysis.

[lyrics:

What was our home?

Paper, not stone

A lean-to, at most]

There’s a lot going on from the very start of this song. First, Logan’s perspective of the mindscape, the “family” of Thomas’ sides, and the system they’ve been using to keep Thomas going was clearly built on shaky foundation, paper-thin and ready to fall at a moment’s notice. Patton holding back negative emotions and then pushing Thomas to prioritize others over himself, Roman pushing himself too far and letting passion fuel Thomas’ every move in desperate attempts to look like the good guy, Virgil’s persistent presence alone despite his efforts to do better only to turn around and assume the worst of Thomas’ opinion of him, Janus’ meddling and his attempts to get Thomas to understand his issues without saying anything outright and only confusing him more and making him feel more guilty, and Remus being abrasive and outlandish to grab Thomas’ attention at every chance he has even if it comes at a detriment to Thomas’ health. It really was only a matter of time before things fell through.

Thomas struggling the way he has been was bound to happen because he wasn’t taking care of himself, he would only listen to some sides far more than others and wasn’t listening to his voice of reason much at all. This created an unfair and, at times, toxic environment for the sides to live and work in. All of them constantly trying to grab Thomas’ attention was what kept them from paying attention to Thomas and what he needed instead.

This became increasingly evident after Janus showed up in the narrative, and has been explicitly clear since Remus’ arrival, too. Thomas is not doing well mentally, and his sides are all stressed out which is making it worse. Logan can recognize all this from a detached, outside perspective despite also being just as affected. He’s been trying to keep things together for Thomas, working on his own to fulfill every role being left undone while the others are too upset to handle things as they typically could, but unfortunately, Logan’s finding it hard to care anymore.

[lyrics:

And when you pulled

Your half away

Gravity won

Like it always does

Did I weigh a ton?

Would it be easier

To just delete

Our pages and the plans we made?]

So, this song is sung in a very accusatory tone, poking at a specific person (mainly because it is originally a break-up song). The speaker is very upset and angry with the other party, and they are relaying their observations and asking why, asking if it was their fault this happened.

“And when you pulled your half away” implies that Logan was not the instigator of whatever preceded this incident, but as we saw with the last song, Logan holds some beliefs about Thomas and the other sides that are not fully true but are not exactly contested either. He could easily see their insistence in pushing him away, ignoring him, and refusing to listen even when Thomas is in desperate need of help as their act of pulling away from him, even if he is the one who has finally let go.

And while I don’t want to get too particular with my predictions, I do believe it’s very possible a last straw for Logan at this juncture may very well involve Thomas’ mental health and what he genuinely needs for survival.

If you’ll remember, Logan now believes he is only truly needed when it is absolutely necessary and there are no other options, or if he is specifically requested to help in some way, so if there is a situation that requires his attention, only for him to show up and be rejected yet again, he may just give up at that point.

And Logan thinks he is the only side genuinely looking out for Thomas, not just for his needs but his wants, as well. Thomas had specifically asked for his help in the Working Through Intrusive Thoughts episode, only for him to take on multiple roles to keep Thomas calm enough to handle himself. And Logan was the only one who bothered to ask Thomas what He wanted in the Can Plushies Improve Our Health? promo video, before even making his argument that everyone else assumed would be in opposition but turned out not to be.

Logan sees himself as that last remaining straw, really. If something is going to finally break him, it will be Thomas and the others. It will be their negligence, their refusal, their rejection of him that finally bends him too far, pushing him to a point where nothing can ever be the same again.

[lyrics:

So what will you do

With no me for you

I know what we said

What if I left

A thing or two?

We know that you don’t seem

To think about what you need

‘Til you reach to find that you’ve—

Erased me]

Like I said, Logan sees himself as the only one holding Thomas together. He believes that, without him, everything would fall apart and turn to chaos, and he’s probably right about most of that.

These lyrics are the speaker predicting what will occur, that the others won’t even notice his absence until they need him for something, and that’s when they’ll realize he’s already gone. This indicates a potential plan to leave, maybe not fully ducking out but certainly not sticking around either. Something that would keep Thomas’ logic functional for use while also allowing Logan a reprieve from him and the other sides, where he would only be used as one would a tool; tucked away in storage until the moment it is needed, then put right back afterward.

Leaving is the key here, though, and it’s something we’ve already seen result in detriment to Thomas back in Accepting Anxiety Pt 1 & 2, and yet, Logan has come to believe that this is a favorable option. Why? Is this to help him feel vindicated, to teach them a lesson?

It's not as though they want him around enough to stop him from leaving anyway.

You know, both the title and chorus of this song portray a very particular message, as “erase me” is not the speaker’s action, because he is not the one erasing himself. Rather, it is a suggestion to the other party so that they can finally be rid of the speaker. The lyrics are also taunting with these words, as if to say that this is what the other party has wanted all along anyway so they should just do it already.

Logan is asking, pleading, for Thomas to let him go because he obviously doesn’t even want him around. Logan doesn’t want to put up with this anymore, and as angry as he is at how he’s been treated, he knows he can’t just give up on Thomas, he’s literally a part of him. This has to be Thomas’ decision, Thomas’ action. Thomas has to be the one to push Logan away, the one to erase him.

Logan isn’t just angry at this point, he’s miserable. He knows he’s unwanted and barely needed, as he serves so little purpose to Thomas in his current career and doesn’t get along with any of the other sides despite everything he has tried to do to correct that. They’ve made it clear they don’t want him around, and they have already proven they can solve issues on their own without his help. He doesn’t need to be there, so why won’t Thomas just let him go?

[lyrics:

Erase me, and you’ll never have to face me

Erase me, Option-Command-Escape me

And if you feel nothing, guess what I wanna be?]

A fun little tidbit of knowledge here, but the Option-Command-Escape function on an Apple computer is its force-quit option, to completely cease a program from running. The program can’t do this itself; the user has to combine those three keys to make it happen. And when they do, the program will have closed and shut down completely. Often this is used when a program isn’t working the way it’s supposed to, when it fails to do its job. By doing this, you put it out of its misery.

Logan isn’t just asking to leave, to only benefit Thomas from afar or only as needed, he is essentially begging for death. He no longer wishes to function at all, because he believes he has no purpose to Thomas or the others. He is pleading for Thomas to let him go, find someone else who could do a better job as his Logic, someone who they’d actually enjoy having around.

For Logan to reach this low of a point, something truly devastating has to have happened to him. I cannot possibly predict what may truly set him off in this way, but given the most recent events in the series, he isn’t all that far from this point already. Likely, it will involve his worth and use to Thomas, and it won’t just be that he was forgotten or tossed aside like in SVS and SVS:R, but that Thomas or the others doing something that will clarify his uselessness out loud, where it can no longer be denied. There will be a divide that leaves him alone on the other end, finally and truly aware that he will never belong here.

Desperation that turns to anger to hide away its shame and misery, Logan won’t just duck out like Virgil had in Accepting Anxiety Pt 1. He would lash out, make sure Thomas and the others knew exactly why he wanted to leave, and begging that they be the ones to cut that connection for him. Maybe he will do something to push the issue, to give them a reason to do it. Perhaps the Orange side will emerge at this point, either to assist him in whatever he’s trying to do or to take over for him or something else entirely.

Regardless of what happens, Logan has now hit a very low point, and everyone knows it.

The next song is Art is Dead by Bo Burnham, which by itself can imply quite a few things.

As if simmering down from the initial blast of heat in the last song, there's still anger and annoyance here, but also a realization.

Something I want you to understand about this song before we relate it to Logan and why it’s included in this playlist is that the speaker is talking about a position, specifically an entertainer, and is saying that what they do is problematic. The speaker is complaining about another party, only to then turn around and include themself within that party. They are not just saying “entertainers are bad and here’s 50 reasons why.” They are saying “entertainers are attention-seekers, and so am I.”

So, when you then put this into perspective with Logan and the message he’s been trying to convey, he is pointing out flaws that he sees in what is likely Roman, as well as Thomas, but he’s also including himself as part of the problem. He recognizes that he, too, seeks attention – from Thomas, from the other sides, from the audience. And he doesn’t feel that it’s a good thing, he sees it as shameful because he knew why it was an issue, and yet he kept doing it anyway.

This seems like a moment of self-reflection, to see that he is not above the others at all, in fact he’s not that different from them when it comes down to what they all want, which is Thomas’ attention. Every single one of them is trying to be heard, but Thomas has only been listening to some of them. And most of them never feel that what they do get is enough, no matter how much it is.

This song shows that Logan knows he wants Thomas’ attention, but also that he doesn’t feel he’s done enough to deserve it. He believes he hasn’t even earned a right to complain like he has. He’s ashamed for how he’s acted because he thought he was supposed to be better than this. He doesn’t deserve the respect he thought he was owed; he doesn’t deserve anything.

With this song, he has somehow managed to dig even lower than his last low point, he’s just sorry for all the trouble he’s caused. Maybe his emotions got out of hand, maybe the Orange side caused problems but it was his fault because he let it happen – who knows? Even if he felt vindicated in the moment, it was clearly fleeting, and now, after the events of what happened, Logan only feels worse.

And then we get to Equation from The Little Prince next on the playlist, and we’re still in that zone of self-reflection, but it’s no longer about how Logan’s just like the others. No, now it’s all about his own flaws, his own failures, and everywhere that he’s fallen short.

Logan has now managed to dig even deeper than his lowest low, folks! It just gets worse and worse! Can you believe it?

[lyrics:

Will I ever know

How white is the snow

Does it matter after all?

Will I ever learn

How to fly like birds]

In this lowest point, Logan can only come up with questions that have been left unasked. Did he hurt Thomas? Did he ruin whatever he had with the other sides? Will he be forever trapped in this world Thomas created for them, with no way to truly explore the real world, to see its full wonder? Will he ever have a chance to do better, to be better, to hope again? Will he ever reach his true potential? Did he ever even have a true potential?

He had attempted and failed to find perfection for so long. He believed it was just a matter of trying, of wanting to meet Thomas’ expectations of him, that if he put his all into it, then he could see it through and be what exactly what Thomas wanted him to be, to be what everyone expected him to be, to be what Logan himself hoped to be.

Hours, days, weeks, years… In the end, it was never truly possible, and yet he had kept foolishly hoping for so long that he could be enough for Thomas. He had called the others’ ideas irrational, when, really, it was him all along with the impossible dreams.

[lyrics:

Are you good as gold?

Are you far from hope?

Are you well alone,

Dad?

Will I be a brave?

Will I be a bright?

Will I be a good grown-up?]

The future was never certain, but now Logan could never be sure of anything. What will become of him? What will become of Thomas? Is it even possible to recover from this, to start over, to get better?

We then move on to the next song, Sunrise from In The Heights. Logan is not doing well, but something he definitely needs more than anything right now is some sort of hope and motivation to keep trying and keep going.

Sunrise appears to be a song meant to involve either Roman or Patton communicating with Logan, but the purpose in its placement on this playlist seems to infer emotion as a motivation to learn, if you break the romantic intent away from the song itself, that is. Anything can motivate one to learn, even love, and Logan must be able to recognize this and understand that emotions and intelligence do not have to have a clear separation and can instead work in tandem. Learning isn’t just about curiosity or survival, it can have very emotional ties, as well.

For so long in the series, Logan has insisted he did not have emotions, even when this was clearly false. He believed that keeping himself removed from emotions would help him succeed in his job as Logic, that the others would be able to rely on him much more if they could trust his knowledge to be unbiased and unmotivated by unpredictable emotions. He assumed that divide between the two was necessary, and that if the two merged or collided, he would be unfit to do his job, that he would not be taken seriously.

However, doing this kept him from understanding and processing his own emotions as well as being unable to empathize with Thomas and the other sides. He only grew to misunderstand and mistrust emotions more and more as time went on, becoming startled and confused at his own outbursts, not aware of why he would feel a certain way or have a certain reaction to a situation, because he refused to let himself experience that emotion, to feel it. His lack of understanding directly resulted from his choice not to engage with emotions at all, despite their importance.

And finding that importance is where this song comes in, because the crucial point Logan had been missing all this time was that emotions can encourage one to learn, inspire one to research. Love can motivate someone to learn a new language, so they can communicate, as we hear in this song. But something like anger can motivate someone to research an important topic so they can fight for what they believe in with facts on their side. Sadness can inspire someone to look into advice and ways to help, not just for oneself but for others, too, employing empathy and logic side by side. Fear can motivate someone to find truth, to create familiarity with routines and schedules, to calm down cognitive distortions to maintain peace of mind.

Logic and emotions do not need to be separated; they can work together very well. In fact, most people use both in tandem every day.

For so long, Logan had set for himself a barrier he could not, would not cross. He knew there was nuance to the world but learned over time that he could not display his own. He resorted to that black-and-white thinking for the others' benefit and then to his own, finding that it was all-or-nothing when it came to Logic or Emotions. He believed one would merely taint the other, so they must be kept apart, even if that left only he alone on the other side, as the only logical side.

Despite the unfairness and discomfort, he didn’t want to challenge what he had come to think was right, what he’d been using as his basis for how he was supposed to act, which is why he refused to learn more about it, to never dare change the perception that he held.

He had given up, letting the world and its arbitrary rules dictate who he was and how he should be…but that was never meant to happen.

Once he realizes where his thoughts had steered him wrong, it will be like a whole new world of opportunities has suddenly opened up to him, giving him so much more to explore and learn. It will give him what he was missing this whole time. It will bridge the gaps he’d been unable to cross.

Logan does serve a purpose, and it's an incredibly important one, but it’s not something he was ever meant to do completely alone like he has been.

And that, of course, is where we get to the next song, One More Time with Feeling by Regina Spektor.

Firstly, this is a song about recovery, which is definitely where Logan would be by now in the story, processing what happened, and attempting to move forward and do better. As many know, recovery is not linear, and it’s certainly not perfect.

But given everything that has happened, it’s not all on Logan to improve himself on his own. Yes, he will need to allow himself to feel emotions so that he can understand them better, and he’ll need to learn ways to implement feelings alongside intelligence when working with the other sides to help Thomas, but the other sides need to do their part here, as well.

They have pushed him away, refused to listen to him for so long, often for petty reasons that blossomed into their eventual negligence. It won’t be easy to fix that level of miscommunication between Logan and the others. It’s not as simple as Logan finally speaking up, or the others promising to do better; it will require a lot of work from both ends before anyone can truly meet in the middle on this.

Logan had spent a lot of time before all this, trying to find ways to meet the others halfway, only to met with nothing in return. He gave up so much of himself, and now resents their choice to only take and never give anything back. Once the others finally reciprocate and show that they do genuinely care about him, only then will Logan have the chance to start this journey, to finally begin to get better.

The lyrics that we hear a few times in this song “this is why we fight” can have multiple connotations, such as an explanation of why the group miscommunicates and argues so much, why they don’t get along. But it can also mean that this is their motivation to keep trying, to fight for what they believe in.

I believe both of these meanings are present in Logan’s perspective of this song.

[lyrics:

Oh, everyone takes turns, now it’s yours to play the part

And they’re sitting all around you, holding copies of your chart

And the misery inside their eyes is synchronized and reflecting into yours]

Earlier on in the song, Logan believes that the others don’t understand his predicament, even if they want to help. They are still separate from him, even if they’ve all had their own issues to overcome, that doesn’t mean they actually comprehend what he’s going through, how it feels, what it means.

He experiences the world so differently from the rest of them. How could they ever possibly understand?

They are pushing him to do something he cannot do well – to open up, to reach out, to feel – and it’s only condescending and antagonistic how they keep insisting that he try again every time he fails.

“This is why we fight” during the chorus is his condemnation of their actions, that he doesn’t think the others can meet him at his level. He is not in a place yet where he can believe they’ll listen to what he’s actually saying, he can’t trust that they’ll bother to explain these unknown things to him in a way he can understand. And this is why they continue to fight, to argue, to not get along, because they aren’t properly communicating, they’re just making the same mistakes again and again.

[lyrics:

You thought by now you’d be so much better than you are

You thought by now they’d see that you had come so far

And the pride inside their eyes would synchronize into a love you’ve never known

So much more than you’ve been shown]

Logan thought he would be better, not just in regard to being the best he can be for Thomas, to succeed as his Logic, to know what to do, and to have the answers, but also in terms of his own recovery. It’s difficult, and some days are worse than others; he makes progress and then he doesn’t, and it’s shameful because he has such high expectations for himself.

He’s so used to aiming for perfection that when failure is consistent like this, it feels wrong to be told it’s actually okay, that it’s normal.

But he wants to prove that Thomas’ efforts and the efforts from the other sides have not gone to waste on him, that he is improving. And yet, he keeps failing anyway. He was supposed to be perfect; he was supposed to be reliable! But now look at him. Even with their help, he’s still messing things up.

He just wants to make them proud, he wants to earn that attention and respect that he couldn’t get before, even if he knows he still doesn’t deserve it. He wants to prove that maybe he can deserve it, though.

“This is why we fight” during the next chorus is his agreement with the others, that this is the motivation to keep trying, to keep going. Someday, he can be better. Someday, he will be respected and trusted and relied upon in the ways that he wants. Someday, they’ll be proud of him.

Until then, the fight is worth it.

This leads directly into In My Mind by Amanda Palmer as the next song, as we see Logan has held very high expectations for himself, which is why failure had hurt so much. But now that things have changed, he may be beginning to challenge these expectations, to expand upon them and understand that he has a chance for something different now.

[lyrics:

Because I will be the picture of discipline

Never minding what state I’m in

And I will be someone I admire]

Part of the issue really did come down to lyrics like “never minding what state I’m in” because Logan never put himself as a priority. This entire time, even at his lowest point, Logan was never the one who was important, not even to himself.

He was okay with this because this was never about him, it was about what Thomas needed or wanted. His willingness to bend and remake himself to benefit the others was surely a sentiment shared by all of them, that this was just what was needed to accomplish his job.

It’s not until Logan finally realizes that this is not the case, that he needs to put himself in some priority, too, that he’ll ever begin to improve and truly get better, able to be himself or enjoy anything he does again.

A big part of recovery is not setting your motivation on someone or something else – you need to get better because you want to be better. You need to believe you deserve to be happy, to get the things you want. Logan can say he’s doing this to benefit Thomas, to build back a relationship with the other sides, to earn back his position and demand respect as Logic, but that will only fail until his motivation is simply that it’s something he wants to do, for him. When attached to others and their expectations, those strings only come with guilt and can end up making his situation worse.

Logan has to do this for himself.

[lyrics:

And it’s funny how I imagined

That I would be that person now

But it does not seem to have happened

Maybe I’ve just forgotten how to see

That I’m not exactly the person that I thought I’d be]

It starts with recognition, the realization that he hasn’t met those expectations he held for himself. There’s still judgement and he still feels guilty about it, wondering how he could have let it get to this point. Maybe he just wasn’t paying attention properly, maybe he should have remembered that he’d already decided long ago about perfection being unattainable and how that was supposed to apply to him, too.

[lyrics:

Not like me now

I’m so busy with everything

That I don’t look at anything

But I’m sure I’ll look when I am older]

He regrets having missed out on the present, not having the chance to experience the wonder of the world that he so admires due to all his efforts towards achieving perfection and doing his best to handle everything by himself. He was so busy trying to do everything so precisely and getting the result he wanted that he hadn’t given himself the opportunity to enjoy anything in all that time.

He could do activities if they were productive, if they served a purpose, but he was a hypocrite, always aware and sharing the wonder of the universe and all that exists within it, amazed by the here and now, yet spending all his time locked in, looking away from the present while trying so hard to maintain it.

How long did he spend, convincing himself that just as soon as he achieves what he set out to do, then he would have time to do that? How long would he have kept going if something hadn’t finally snapped and broken everything, forcing him to confront this?

Would he have missed out? Would he have been somehow worse?

[lyrics:

And it’s funny how I imagined that I could be that person now

But that’s not what I want, but that’s what I wanted

And I’d be giving up somehow, how strange to see

That I don’t wanna be the person that I want to be]

Finally, a breakthrough. While not quite acceptance, Logan is finally starting to see the difference, that he wants things in a different way now than he did before.

He kept trying to strive for perfection in his recovery, but didn’t he recall how badly that had gone last time? He knew perfection wasn’t attainable, but he believed that was the expectation Thomas and the others had for him. He kept trying to get to it, no matter what it cost him, and that’s how he wound up here in the first place.

And now, after everything, things have changed. Thomas is listening, at least more than before. The others do care, and try to make sure he knows it, too. Logan had wanted to get better, to make them proud, to prove that he deserved what they were offering to him, but… that wasn’t even the point of it all.

All this time, he’d thought he still needed to be perfect, that that was what he wanted, but now that he’s finally had a chance to look inside himself, to experience wonder and curiosity again, he has realized that what he really wanted was to be accepted.

He didn’t want to have to change himself so the others would listen, he just wished they would actually want to listen to him, to like him for who he is, to let him be himself without requiring him to change, to only be the best, only what was needed, only Logic.

He wanted to be more than Logic; he wanted to be Logan.

With that, he finally realizes that doesn’t have to focus on perfection for Thomas’ sake and survival. He can focus more on himself more instead, on what he actually wants from the world, what he wants to do, and what he wants to try. He can be what he wants to be – more than Thomas’ Logic.

Having finally realized what it’s all for and being given the time to explore that, we get to the next song, Not Perfect by Tim Minchin.

This is a song that attempts to use facts and knowledge to explain feelings and thoughts, bringing context to situations that Logan had struggled in doing before this point. Finally beginning to understand what it is that’s going on inside, what these feelings are and why they’re there, to have the words he needs to adequately describe it to someone else, it all must be so relieving.

There’s still uncertainty, sure, but it’s a lot less stressful now, knowing there’s a way to talk to the others, to actually communicate what he means. He may still be startled, caught unawares, but he doesn’t have to shove it down and away anymore. He knows how to pause and reflect, let himself experience it, and he knows how to control his own behavior in reaction to it.

It’s far from perfect, and there’s still a lot he’ll need to learn, but he does so enjoy learning, doesn’t he?

[lyrics:

This is my earth and it’s fine

It’s where I spend the vast majority of my time

It’s not perfect, but it’s mine

It’s not perfect…]

Another thing to note about this song is the ownership behind most of the lyrics. “This is my earth” and “it’s not perfect, but it’s mine.” That sense of belonging is something that Logan has always wanted, and to be able to not only express that, finally, but to feel that it is real, that he is no longer just an outside observer but a part of the world as a whole, must be incredible.

He’s finally found his place, and though it was here all along, he no longer feels trapped in a cage or left collecting dust on a shelf. He has his place, he knows he’s a part of something greater, and that he’ll be appreciated for who he is.

This song has a perfect matching bookend, by the way; it’s three songs from the end of the playlist whereas Algoryhthm was three from the start. Both of these songs involve one’s differing view of the world, recognizing not only how it works but their place within it. One deals with that negatively, the other more positively.

In Algorhythm, Logan still had wonder for the expanse of the world but found himself trapped by the parameters being set. It didn’t matter that he knew things didn’t have to run in this way, he had no power to change it. He was given no other choice but to give up and go with the flow. He could only change himself to match it, knowing he was an outsider who didn’t belong but had to make do with his circumstances.

In Not Perfect, however, he still has that differing view of the world, but instead of being the outlier, he’s now able to find comfort in knowing he has a place within this world. There are so many wonders everywhere, all around, in the biggest and smallest of things. Yes, he sees the world differently, but so do others, and that’s amazing! He may feel alone at times, he may feel infinitesimal among the great expanse of the universe, but he is never truly alone. He knows he belongs here. He has those who understand him, and he doesn’t have to change for anyone. The world can accept him for who he is, always.

It's as though whoever curated this playlist knew precisely what they were doing. They cared deeply enough to ensure this story, Logan’s story, was told exactly the way it was meant to be, to describe the highs and lows, to explain the truth behind every note, and to inspire with hope anyone else who may be struggling, as well. This story, this playlist, says to us calmly and clearly that everything is going to be okay. It’s not perfect, but it’ll be okay.

In Human by Tank and the Bangas, we get to hear that acceptance, that love on full display.

Things have finally slowed down now, a song for a moment that comes at a more comfortable and soothing pace. Logan finally has the time to look around and see what he’s been missing while he’s been so busy with everything else.

This is another song that uses facts not only to describe and evoke emotions, but to inspire awe and wonder. Emotion-driven curiosity, channeling all the wonders of the world, of you, as your inspiration and guide to learn more and appreciate the here and now.

[lyrics:

Don’t you ever become complicit

With living life on a shelf]

Logan had gone so long pushing away parts of himself simply because they were flawed, not partaking in his interests because they didn’t fit the mold he so desperately wanted to fill. But now that he’s found his place, he can appreciate his chance to finally be more, to explore and share what he’s learned, knowing he’ll be heard.

Something we’ve seen from Logan since the very beginning is just how deep and wide his wonder goes. He loves the world, the universe, and everything found within it. He holds such fascination for the innumerable amount of living species in the world, for all the technology that’s been created and built, for every concept born of a mind. Logan loves the world so much, and he wishes so much for others to cherish what can be learned from it, as every moment, something new emerges. So many possibilities, so many chances to do more, see more, be more.

Logan was never meant to be someone who was pushed away, kept from the world that he loves so dearly. And now that he finally has the chance to be himself, to be accepted for who he is, we see that he immediately turns to what he loves most: wonder, and the opportunity to share it with others.

Knowledge can do so much for so many, but it’s best purpose is to be shared openly and freely, given to all who will take it. It’s not meant to be inaccessible, locked away, kept elite behind paywalls and tuition fees. It’s a part of what makes the world as amazing as it is, and Logan knows this and wants it to be shared.

[lyrics:

You have to continue to live

There are too many more interesting lessons]

Logan had made it his upmost priority in life to ensure Thomas’ survival, but this was something that eventually led to him burned out, begging for his own life to end instead. This journey, this long arc full of ups and downs, gave Logan the chance to see that his priorities were misaligned. He needed to take care of himself, he needed to give himself significance, because otherwise, he’d be constantly pouring from an empty cup.

He had to choose not only to live but to give himself the chance to do what humans do, to experience life, to enjoy it. Whatever time they have, they will make the most of it, because it can’t just be about survival.

Back in the song Algorhythm, Logan learned that humans do things very differently, that they don’t always act in ways that make sense, that sometimes they don’t prioritize survival despite its importance. In Fitter Happier, his interpretation of what it meant to be human was so disconnected from reality, misunderstanding what it was truly all for. But now, he has been given the chance to experience that broader spectrum; he’s no longer cut off from emotions and the ties they make to every moment in life.

There is so much more you can do with emotions as your guide, as the heartbeat to fuel your curiosity, your will to keep learning.

[lyrics:

And if you never knew

That that was enough to just be

You obviously don’t know

A thing]

This song has marked this moment out clearly for Logan, that he is finally an important and valued part of Thomas, that he belongs here and has a place here with the other sides, within the world, within the show. And it wasn’t perfection and changing himself to suit their needs that got him there. He was able to accept himself and give himself the freedom to explore and discover more, to find his own way to benefit Thomas, to be Logic, without strings, without repression, without solitude.

Being unabashedly himself was enough. He was enough for Thomas.

And then we get to the last song on the playlist, Time Adventure from Adventure Time.

A charming song to complete the set, to bring us back to how happy and smiling Logan had started out at the beginning of it all, though this time there’s a lot more depth to that smile. He knows more now; he’s learned and changed and improved in ways he never knew possible at the start of all this.

[lyrics:

Time is an illusion that helps things make sense

So we’re always living in the present tense

It seems unforgiving when a good thing ends

But you and I will always be back then

You and I will always be back then]

Existentialism with a positive twist, Logan can recognize the world for what it is, for how it works. But there is always that encouragement to remember where we all are, in the here and now.

Logan values the present the most, even if he’s someone we know who relies on the past for experience and the future for motivation. In comparison, Roman values the future and what it can hold, Patton values the past and what it can mean, and Virgil mixes between the past and the future to keep Thomas on a steady path. Logan is one of the only sides, other than perhaps Janus, who values the present moment above all else.

He wants Thomas to see what’s right in front of him instead of ignoring it for what he remembers of the past or what he hopes for the future. It’s okay to want those things, to appreciate them, but disregarding the present only results in missing out on the world around him, on what’s already available to him right now.

Logan sees Thomas’ potential and aspires for him to achieve it, but he can’t keep his mind on faraway goals without doing what he can in the present. Make a plan today that you can enact tomorrow. Brainstorm that story right now so you can write it later. Hug that friend today so you can remember it later when you miss them. There’s always a reason to act in the present, to live your life right here and now.

This ending song shows us that Logan has grown so much, and came to be happy at the end of the story. He’s come to understand himself, the others, Thomas, and the whole world so much better than ever before and is better for it. From this point on, things will surely be different, but now he has everything he needs to face anything that may come his way. He can rely on his knowledge, but also trust that he has his friends at his side, that he has their support. He knows Thomas values him and what he has to say, and that he can tell him when things are tough, when he needs him to listen.

He is heard. He is loved. And he loves in turn, all without having to do anything but be himself.

Something I absolutely adore about these last few songs on the playlist is that even though Logan is doing better now, after everything he’s gone through, he’s not showing this newfound satisfaction and happiness in the ways that you’d expect of most people. He’s doing it his own way, the way he likes doing it, and he’s thriving for it!

He prefers to work alone, having the time to think and contemplate strategies and plans without interruption. He likes reading in a quiet room, exploring fascinating new worlds and concepts all on his own. He likes sharing what he’s learned, and being relied upon for his knowledge, given the opportunity to explain ideas to others in the hopes that it will fascinate them and encourage them to learn more themselves.

He's not changing himself to do what others want of him. He’s not trying to fit some mold, to be okay by anyone else’s standards. He’s just…being Logan. And that’s everything I could ever want for him.

This playlist has involved such an amazing journey for Logan; it’s a story told through something humans will always love to share – music!

It showed us every crucial moment of Logan's arc, from what we've already seen in the show to what we know is bound to come next. It's clear that Logan has so much more to learn, especially from the other sides, who will be able to understand him once they finally try to communicate effectively and work together for Thomas and for themselves. The situation will improve, they will be happy, someday.

Someday, we’ll get to see the real conclusion to this character’s story, and until then, we can hold out hope for a good ending.

#logan sanders #sanders sides analysis #sanders sides #ts logan #logan angst #long post #like extremely long post #this is basically a very long winded way of saying that i hc logan as the biggest brooder to ever brood #so very broody and angsty #also yes i genuinely just write like this naturally and used to always be called a walking thesaurus #if you need clarification on anything i am always glad to extrapolate on my thoughts #especially because there was so much more i wanted to say here but i needed to reel it in haha #orbs thought bubbles #oh one last thing - i transcribed these lyrics myself in this post bc most websites were so incredibly wrong with these

[themalhambird]

The world is not real: Charlotte cannot touch it. This -news-, this tragedy  is not real either, and it cannot touch her. There’s too much cotton in her ears, there’s an endless, keening chime slowly boring through her skull- in at one temple, out at the other- a continuous line, all the way through…

She is sitting on the sofa. There’s a cup and saucer cradled in her hands. She doesn’t remember picking it up, but the steam is ghosting over her face. It’s fresh. (Her husband is dead). Polly must have given it to her. (Her husband died at his own hand.) They have a visitor, she ought to be showing more hospitality. She wonders if there’s any of that fruitcake left. (Alfred confessed to murder. Alfred confessed to murder,  and then Alfred murdered himself)

“Mama?”

Polly’s voice, soft and tentative as it is, makes her jump. Tea sloshes, spills over, pools in the delicate saucer. She shakes herself and focuses her gaze on Sir Julian. “That’s not,” she tries, but the sound barely forms. Charlotte pauses, swallows, tries again. “That’s not right,” she says, unsure if she’s really addressing Sir Julian Harker or merely facing his direction whilst trying to bargain with a Higher Power. “That’s not- none of this is right, Alfred wouldn’t- he wouldn’t do any of it, any of this…” But he has. He has, he has, he has, and when he comes home she’s going to skin him alive. “What will we do?” she asks, as the first beginnings of fear worm their way through the numbness of shock. “The disgrace of it-”

“Mama!” Polly cries, indignant. “At this moment, of all moments, your thoughts cannot be of what other people will think- what does that matter, what do any of them matter!”

It matters because they have never been reckless with money, but savings will not last forever and Charlotte doesn’t know if the widows of Police Inspectors who confess to capital offences and then take their own lives qualify for any sort of pension. It matters because the disapprobation of society in any circumstances can be death by a thousand cuts, whereas the widow who has the sympathies of her community has a better chance at maintaining a somewhat genteel situation. It matters because the infamy of the father will cast a shadow over the life and the character of the daughter- the best chance for Polly, now, is marriage, but what respectable, decent man would want a father- in- law six feet deep in unconsecrated ground?

“Mrs Hillinghead,” Sir Julian says solemnly, “I wish to assure you that you and your daughter will have the fullness of my protection. The events of the last twenty four hours- they will not reflect on you, nor on your daughter. You have my word.”

She acknowledges his words without really understanding- it will not be until much later, lying in a too-empty bed and staring up at the ceiling, unable to sleep- that Charlotte will consider that Harker told Polly about Alfred’s death before he told her, that he stood as close to Polly’s chair as proprietary allows for, that he has seemed- these past few weeks- to admire Polly: her beauty, her music. And perhaps nothing will come of it but friendship- , but the friendship of a man that powerful is not an asset to be scorned. And if it turns into anything more…

They were nineteen, she and Alfred, when they married- they had been friends their whole lives before that. And she had known about him:  years before they had married, she had known that  his desires steered his eyes not towards the ranks of giggling, frivolous girls who batted their eyelashes at his well built figure and handsome face, but to other members of his own sex. And she had ignored it, because she knew him: he was too good a man to act on those desires. And he was kind, and gentle, and they were friends, and a husband who would be perfectly happy to conduct a marriage with minimal activity in the matrimonial bed suited Charlotte. She had courted him as much as he had courted her, really, although whether he ever realised that…

And he’s dead. Her best friend of nearly forty years. The murder confession, she has already written off- she neither knows nor cares about the details. If it was a false confession, then he confessed to try and protect someone- probably that journalist, given the confession it prompted to her, and she is furious at him. She is furious at him for not protecting his wife and child, and for not letting the journalist face whatever justice he merited- unless, of course, the man threatened to reveal Alfred’s inclinations, and take the Inspector who had detected his crimes down along with him. That seems, to Charlotte, the most likely explanation. And if the confession is- was- true, then Alfred must have had good reason for taking another man’s life: she has seen him carry spiders in the palm of his hand to release them outside, rather than squash them underfoot; she has listened to him vent his frustrations about officers being too heavy handed with their arrests at more dinners than she can remember. Taking another human life…it must have broken something in his mind, which would explain being in such a state that he would…. It does not matter. Alfred is dead, either way- she is a widow, either way. And she will encourage Julian Harker’s friendship, because if Polly can catch him she will have a comfortable home, and a husband who seems a good hearted and generous man. And she, Charlotte, will grieve Alfred Hillinghead. But if his death unravels into the scandal she fears, then she will take care to grieve him quietly. She will survive this. She has to. She has to survive this so that there’s someone who remembers that Alfred Hillinghead played cricket as a boy and took two sugars in his tea.

#bodies netflix #bodies 2023 #suicide ts #homophobia ts #(victorian-typical attitudes) #alfred hillinghead #charlotte hillinghead #trying to flesh Charlotte out a bit beyond 'generic victorian wife/mother #(also trying to get a handle on the Polly and Mannix happy timeline because they seemed to get married very quickly #but Charlotte wasn't in mourning dress during the ceremony so either there was a much longer gap than implied or Charlotte wasn't following #the usual customs for victorian widows) #anyway she didn't seem surprised when Alfred told her he was attracted to other men so I'm working on the basis that she worked it out #for herself long ago #And because I can I'm imagining Charlotte Hillinghead as somewhere on the ace spectrum who had #doesn't want sex every ten minutes #at the top of her shopping list when considering potential husbands #my fic #long post

[menelaiad]

Why did Agamemnon and Menelaus part on bad terms from Troy?

athena made them fight! she and zeus are angry at the greeks for how they handled the whole troy thing and i think athena has particular beef about the palladium? and the cassandra/ajax incident, so they just want to make the homecoming for all the greeks unpleasant.

so she makes menelaus and agamemnon fight (which divides the greek army). they fight because menelaus just wants to leave and go home but agamemnon says that they should wait and try and appease athena, with sacrifice and offerings because she's clearly pissed at them. but menelaus doesn't wait. and he goes with nestor, diomedes and odysseus (but odysseus goes back to agamemnon after a stop at lesbos). whilst agamemnon stays behind.

nestor tells it in book 3 of the odyssey:

“Gray-eyed Athena, daughter of the Thunder, became enraged and brought about disaster. She set the sons of Atreus to fight each other. Hastily, they called the people at sunset, not observing proper norms. The men arrived already drunk on wine; the brothers told them why they called the meeting.                Then Menelaus said that it was time to sail back home across the open sea. But Agamemnon disagreed entirely. He wanted them to stay and sacrifice to heal the sickness of Athena’s wrath— pointless! He did not know she would not yield. The minds of the immortals rarely change. So those two stood and argued angrily, and with a dreadful clash of arms the Greeks leapt up on two opposing sides. We slept                that eerie night with hearts intent on hatred against each other—since Zeus meant us harm. At dawn one group of us dragged down our ships into the sea piled high with loot and women, while half the army still remained there, stationed with Agamemnon, shepherd of the people.”

and a fragment from Nostoi of the epic cyle also gives details about it. proclus' chrestomathia ii talks about it!

so it wasn't like bad terms in that they grew to hate each other or anything. it was just a disagreement that, had agamemnon lived longer, they probably would have resolved or even forgotten about. but. like. agamemnon doesn't live long after coming back from troy. menelaus never sees him again. the last time they speak to each other is a fight. is them divided and one of them leaving the other behind. and considering throughout the homeric works menelaus and agamemnon are such a Unit. they're a team. they're seen together a lot in the iliad. it's just really sad.

and i think menelaus' reaction to agamemnon's death makes it even sadder because OF COURSE he will be sad over his brother dying, but you can't help but think does he feels guilt that they left on such bad terms? that he won't get the chance to rectify it. their last memory of each other is a huge fight. and that's so sad. because that's not who they were or what their dynamic was shown to be for 99% of the time.

#its very reminiscnet of the idea that we have now of like that whole #'tell someone you love them cause you never know when it will be the last time you speak to them' #the expecation that you will have the chance to fix it. or to move on. #but sometimes you dont. and sometimes you never know when that moment will be #menelaus probably carries that. just add that weight to his back as well. #long post for ts ///

[foolscapper]

I call this "foolscapper's descent into MCR mania".

MCR fanworks by me, May* 2022 - December 2022!

(*It starts in May because that's when I actually started drawing MCR fanworks.)

Can't wait to do a 2023 one in December!!!!

#long post #long post for ts #myfanart #my art #this is just very fun for me ok #mcr #my chemical romance

[crackdkettle]

Canon versions of Supernatural characters as undergrad professors

Dean: Acts like he hates his students but is everyone’s favorite. Hilarious but you’re not sure if you’re allowed to laugh. Lectures are fun, interesting, and informative, but you have to decode his pop culture references and you will drop a whole letter grade if you say anything even vaguely disparaging about Led Zeppelin (or, god forbid, don’t know who/what Led Zeppelin is). Believes in hands-on learning, so there’s a lot of in-class activities. Not approachable in the least, but very understanding and willing to help anyone who has the guts to ask. Casually drops the most insane details from his life and moves on; refuses to elaborate when questioned (also there’s no way he could have done all the stuff he’s claimed he has when he’s still this young?). Could have a knife stuck in his chest and would still come to class, but will get one text from his husband or kid and end class forty minutes early. Exams are challenging but easy enough if you attend class and take decent notes.

Sam: Not an easy A, but not a difficult one either. Definitely a case of “you get out what you put in”. Happy to grant extensions on projects, but you basically have to have a therapy session with him in exchange. Interesting if you already like the subject, but probably won’t get you interested if you don’t. Seems about as normal as any academic but at least once a week will say something completely out of left field and act like it’s not the craziest thought anyone’s ever had.

Charlie: Spends the first class showing you how to pirate all your textbooks. Super fun, but don’t make the mistake of thinking that means she’s a pushover. Uses Lego action figures to reenact ancient myths, and offers extra credit for LARPing. Adopts any and all baby queers. In lieu of a final exam, the whole class has to do a dramatic reading of Lysistrata in the school’s amphitheater wearing chitons she taught you to make earlier in the semester to an audience comprised solely of her and her best friend.

Rowena: Terrifying in lower-division classes; fun and chill in upper-division classes. Doesn’t tolerate insolence in lower-division; loves when you challenge her in upper-division. Genuinely wants to help you learn. Rewards ass-kissing but rewards effort more.  Reassures you when you mess up that you can never be as good as her anyway. Invites your 400 class over for dinner and makes a joke about the food being poisoned in a way that makes you feel like maybe she’s not joking? Possibly having an affair with the dean. Heavily attended office hours.

Crowley: Genuinely hates his students (except for the elite few he likes), but a weirdly forgiving grader. Very easy to distract and get off on a tangent. You probably won’t learn much but you will have a good time. Exams are either a cake walk or downright impossible. In a feud with the dean.

Bobby: Both the most knowledgeable and the wisest person you’ve ever met. You want to record all his lectures and then transcribe them because every single thing he says is the most profound thing you’ve ever heard. Sincerely wants you to succeed. Everyone wants him as their advisor. Never assigns essays in his GE classes because “the students don’t like writing them, and more importantly, I don’t like reading them.” In a feud with the dean, and extremely smug in the knowledge that the dean can’t do jackshit to him because he’s tenured.

Castiel: All his lectures are either insultingly elementary and broad or doctorate-level technical and specific. No patience for stupid questions. Constantly refutes things in the textbooks but refuses to cite his sources beyond “I was there” (when writing was invented??). Cancels class at least once a week “due to a family emergency”, but then you run into him at the local arcade with his husband and/or son. Never returns homework and seems put upon/confused when you ask about it (usually says something like, “Human markers of academic success are meaningless,” and just squints at you if you ask what he’s doing in academia then). In a feud with the dean, the provost, and the university president. Essay-only exams. Rumor is he’s never given anyone an A.

#supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #charlie bradbury #rowena macleod #spn crowley #bobby singer #castiel #is this mainly about my deep-seated belief that cas would be a terrible professor but dean would be amazing? #very possibly #he absolutely would cancel class constantly though to hang out with jack and dean #especially jack #btw if you're wondering where jody donna and eileen are #jody and donna are rds #and eileen is doing field work with her graduate students #long post for ts

[when-are-you-coming-back-steve]

What’s your new Anger? (this is the inaction to tell me I am a big fan of your crit posts. You make them consider and understandable while not being condescending to the reader (so so affectionate :) ))

OHOH BOY Heres the thing, I dont really post crit for much. Usually I will like and reblog some valid posts that come up naturally and if its really a problem for me I tend to leave easy. But Thomas Sanders is killing me and takeover is a bad influence /j

But basically he reminds me of the worst coworkers you've had and he's just. Terrible at the job he ASSIGNED HIMSELF. He brands himself as a youtuber. He promises videos for one of his most popular endeavors which was lowkey a rebranding after vine was shut down and he was no longer a popular comedian on vine. And then he abandoned his largest project. And that wouldn't be a problem! If he did what majority of other cc's do. So many youtubers leave behind what made them popular, the move on the other things because it makes them happy and allows them to continue to bring content. There's usually some fans who are angry at this move but atleast most of those youtubers are transparent about this change. They communicate with their community setting the expectations going forward and they stick with them! Thomas has not done this.

He promised us a large amount of work going into making a season finale, and then making another season and he might not be able to push out content at the rate he has done before but thats because he's putting everything into the finale

But we've had very little sander sides content since then. And these have their own problems as being short and "not being part of the main storyline" or being blatant ads. But Thomas is still cranking out other content, he took up tiktok where he is reliving his vine era, he plays games on a side channel. He streams but only for people that pay him. We took the long wait and said fine. Its nothing these fans haven't done before. But then he goes and months and months after he promised us the finale, he tells us he has began working on the script. What was he doing in those months? How is he only just starting bare basics of this thing we have been waiting on forever. Can you imagine this in a professional setting? You're coworker hell your boss has major procrastination on important projects and refuses to give you a timeline? But they still expect to be paid and continue their job while they are doodling in their office.

He attempts to reason this away with not having a lot of people and the pandemic inhibiting the team from filming. First of all they haven't hadnt had anything to film with the finale because they are still working on the script. The pandemic is no longer a major world problem right now. And when it was that wouldn't of had to stopped planning or filming, it might be harder to do with only one person there but it is possible and manageable!

When he does have his team it boggles my mind! I was in schools news in middle school, we worked in teams of 5-7. Each team was pushing out a video every week/every two weeks. Each video had an original hand crafted intro that was never done before on another episode in our show. We had multiple skits. We had announcements and weather and what we were having thst day. We had news anchors thst led us into each segment. This was all planned, filmed and edited by the team. Was it perfect? No but we had content constantly coming out with completely original ideas everytime while we were still learning how to edit videos. We spent an hour every school day on these, we also split those hours with assignments we had due. We cranked this stuff out in a max total of 14 hours. These tiny 6th graders did amazing work despite being children who are using Adobe for the first time and having such little time. This experience has made me more understanding of what exactly these youtubers do, its hard time consuming work. And this understanding is what makes me so angry about Thomas not having any progress in the finale. This absolutely could have been done by now. This absolutely could have been done months ago.

Tldr: Thomas sanders refuses to communicate effectively with his fans and to work efficiently on this project. The fact that this has been going on for over 900 days is absolutely atrocious. This is his job, one that he signed up for. If he was working for anyone in any field including this one he would have been fired. We deserved better than this and deserve better than him continuing to drag this out.

#oh jeez #any way thank you! #barely sure this is even actually for me cuz most of my stuff is from takeover's reblogs #but if it is that makes me very happy! it doesnt feel amazing to criticize something you loved and you dont want to be too mean of a person #im glad its something that comes across as thoughtful and is understandable to readers #these posts are made to vent my frustrations but also strike a discussion and analysis. #ts critical #long post

[idrawgaystffs]

Vee’s inner-monologue is likely him questioning why he lets this idiot live.

So! @css10987 (I seem to not be able to tag you),

Here’s your gift from me to you as per the TssSecretSanta contract! Some villain Ro and questionably sided Virgil (I imagine he’s a good vigil-ante :) There’s a bit of tag lore for the heck of it vv

Oh and have a nice wintery season!

Tagging @sanderssidesgiftxchange as well, thanks for setting this all up and modding!

[Click for quality and reblogs are appreciated!]

#my art stff #sanders sides #Virgil sanders #ts Virgil #roman sanders #ts roman #tss art #prinxiety #sanderssidesgiftxchange2022 #sanders sides au #since your second request is a bit of a work in progress I may never post but I’ll let you know somehow if I do finish it! #Ro’s power may be his charisma #or rather the ability to mimic faces since there would be no need to fear showing off in public #Virgil is very unhappy about that though #I spent too long on their faces to cover them in masks #next time maybe #enjoy! #my art

[loquaciousquark]

4-Sided Dive Highlights - Critical Role C3 up to E35 (Oct. 4, 2022)

Good evening, spooks and ghouls! It's a Halloween edition of 4-Frighted-Dive, and Matthew, Marisha, Laura, and most excellently Travis bring us into the season in the very dramatic costumes promised by the cast last episode. Travis wins host for the first time and his plastic fangs make him almost entirely unintelligible. There's an enormous coffin set up at the front of the heavily decorated Halloween set, and while pondering whether we should celebrate Halloween without her, we all ask What Would Laudna Do? Pate arrives at the set door with a delivery: a letter read by Travis in a cockney accent telling them to go on and do the show.

What the Fuck Is Up With That? The Otohan fight was complicated by unexpectedly struggling with the gate/crawler and accidentally getting Otohan's attention. When Laudna went spiderclimbing up the wall, she was not at all anticipating finding Otohan right on the balcony at the top. They all agree the darkness was clutch. I'm so distracted by how Matt's head barely pokes out of his robot box.

The attacking force was not actually intended to break into the fort, just to be a distraction.

If BH had managed to escape more quickly & cleanly, it wouldn't have been a fight at all. (There would have been a bounty on the unknown perpetrators, though.) The slow and cumbersome exit, the getting of her attention, and the leap to combat all triggered her deciding to directly intervene.

Matt thinks the infiltration on the first half was done really well. Getting Treshi was very smooth and the crates were a great idea.

Everyone speculates on if they could make a dunamantic fig tree. Matt has no idea what would happen if they tried to graft Possibility into a tree.

Travis says the Secret Word (Tempest) and must draw from the recently reassembled Tower of Inquiry. #41: How do cast members sent out of a scene avoid seeing spoilers on Twitter? They actively avoid social media! Episodes are still pre-taped, so they know when to avoid episodes & remind each other not to watch protected moments from the show. Great question!

Travis thinks Otohan knows who Imogen's mom is. Laura has deliberately not tried to cast Sending on her mom. Everyone does think she is alive; that Imogen has a memory of her being alive when she was about a year old & other people saw her twelve years ago when she'd originally been told she died in childbirth--surely she must still be around. Everyone wonders how Imogen's explosion managed to spare her friends yet destroy buildings. Did they go to the moon briefly? Matt descends turtle-like into his robot shell to avoid answering.

Marisha watched the last episode by herself. ;-; It was very weird.

Everyone peppers Matt with questions about the moon. "Answer, Robot!" Matt: "I'm thirsty." Marisha VERY clumsily tips a water bottle to his mouth and just about waterboards him. Her raptor hand gloves are too big, oh no!

When Orym, Laudna, Chetney, and Fearne all went down, everyone was convinced that was it--total party TPK. Travis is always looking at Matt's fidget energy when stuff goes down, trying to read his face for lifelines and hints, and he noted that Matt was unusually stoic and calm. Matt knew Otohan was powerful and important; he needed to honor that. When he built the encounter, he did build in escape routes, including the idea of a hostage held to draw the others back. The group did a huge chunk of damage to her and a lot of her resources were tapped by the end of the fight; she did have a damage threshold where she'd leave, and they were close to that. They all wanted to run but couldn't get away. The moment she did the 80-foot jump really scared them all. The fight reminded Travis of the Chroma Conclave attack in C1 where a 19 missed and took their breath away.

Laura says it scarily reminded them so much of Molly in C2--the villain was way beyond their means and the smart move was to get away. They just couldn't execute it cleanly. Matt suggests the conversation could have continued, but the party choices were too scattered: run, hide, fight, talk.

Otohan was more interested in information rather than murder at the start, but when she recognized Imogen & realized her personal connection to the party, she wanted to push Imogen instead & was willing to be ruthless in the process.

Travis loved the brush with total hopelessness. For as large as their party is, it's very rare to do the "advanced chess" and see no way out. They don't get to experience that risk of TPK often.

Matt has to constantly adjust encounters to keep them from becoming a slog while still making them hard. He thinks the party is really smart & have found ways to decimate encounters he'd thought would be hard in the past, and he knows this party likes the challenge and the risk of real danger, so he built this to be very challenging. Marisha says everyone at the table was completely okay with the way everything went down at the table. This is still a safe space for them as players and they are okay with the possibility of loss.

They all had a stairstep of expected outcomes in the following episode, starting with Laudna's die roll. Travis looked over to see the natural 1 and literally couldn't believe it. She has so many ways to get back up, but the Ruidus die refused to cooperate. Travis lauds Matt for the choice of Otohan striking an unconscious Laudna rather than moving on; it was realistic and terrifying.

They had planned for the possibility of everyone getting back up: Laudna rolling well, FCG bringing back Fearne to bring back Orym. Then Laudna rolled a 1 and FCG barely scraped the DC for Fearne coming back, and everything got a lot dicier.

The trouble with the death spiral is that when people start going down, people have to spend their turns bringing back other people rather than attacking. With this many healers & revivifiers in the party, Matt has to really push threat to make encounters hard.

Marisha had a bad feeling the entire break between the episodes. She did not think Laudna was going to make it out. She whispered to Travis at one point that they should rez Orym. The moment Ashley flipped the Changebringer coin and told Laudna they'd find a way to bring her back, it was like a punch in the gut and fatalistically accepting at the same time.

Laura, on the other hand, had convinced herself Marisha would roll her way out of it, so her failing was totally devastating. She was convinced they'd be able to persuade Delilah to heal Laudna through the rock. Matt acknowledges that they didn't expect Delilah to be so powerless.

Travis thinks Delilah was trying to take over Laudna's body, which is what Gentle Repose interrupted. Matt refuses to answer.

If resurrection magic were readily available, death would be meaningless. Matt relegates it to powerful casters, heroes, and noble classes that can afford it.

Everyone agrees it must have been so painful for Orym to ask Keyleth to heal Laudna when he knows she couldn't save his husband. Matt reminds us she tried to rez Will but couldn't.

Marisha keeps imagining VM burying Delilah in an iron box & throwing it in the ocean, just for BH to somehow recover it and open it right back up.

Matt knew with this campaign's characters' histories that there was a higher risk of crossing over with VM, and he was nervous about doing it justice while still avoiding the Essek free-taxi situation. More than that, he NEVER expected Keyleth to show up as a means of taking the whole party to Whitestone. Matt tells us Pike is likely in Whitestone too, possibly Grog. Marisha is so excited to see Matt talk to himself as all their old characters for an hour. Matt is STOKED to be able to revisit old PCs down the line--he's always wanted to explore this idea but has never had groups persist long enough in the same world.

Everyone got incredibly emotional seeing Keyleth & Whitestone.

Favorite scary movies? Laura: The Descent (we just watched this in movie night!). Marisha: Amityville Horror. Matt: Hereditary or the original Poltergeist. Travis: The Exorcist & The Thing, which he watched in increments because they were too scary to watch all at once. He also hilariously apparently bailed out of a theater during Jurassic Park & Neverending Story, haha! A concession stand worker gave him pity Reese's Pieces, bless his heart. Laura bailed once out of her grandma trying to show her Poltergeist when she was like six. Matt bailed out of the Ghostbusters. Marisha has never left a theater. Me either, Marisha! I paid for this ticket, I'm seeing the show.

I've hit that block limit again! Come on, tumblr.

Tower of Inquiry, Redux: minor character superpowers. Imogen never has to change a lightbulb. Chetney has super strong fingernails and doesn't need tools. Laudna wilts flowers when she walks by and would probably be a good crash test dummy. Eshteross always bakes the perfect cookies. Marisha is directed to pull from the tower with her enormous raptor gloves, which she does with tremendous aplomb. Who in TV and film would complement your character well? Chetney + Bilbo Baggins. Laudna + John Constantine (Matt suggests Elvira). Imogen + Jean Grey/Scarlet Witch.

Deep Dive! Matt can't reach his tumbler with both hands and it's honestly just sending me. He's loved introducing C2 elements into this campaign; he's been thinking about threads from the start of C2 and even into C1 that he's now able to bring into the world.

Marisha: What is it like to see Keyleth back without being at the table? It's like going into a fugue state. She thought Matt did a great job mimicking her more staccato mannerisms. "It was cute. It was good! Now do Vex." Matt descends again into his box.

Travis didn't recognize either name Matt dropped during the white out: Diana & Frenella Deanna and Frudell, I guessed VERY wrong on those names, sorry! He's going to see if he can meditate and ring a bell. Imogen might deep dive into him herself if he wants.

Laura struggled with the gnarlrock situation & Laudna. She would have kept the rock on her if they hadn't needed to move the body. She was going to leave it at Joe's then didn't; she was going to throw it off the airship then didn't. The draw of power the first rock gave her is such a background thought now with everything else.

Matt has the same conversation with every player about what happens when a character dies. His purpose is to have the players enjoying the game, and if a character dies prematurely, he is willing to open avenues for the party to pursue to bring them back. He also offers the chance to make a completely new character, a new character with strong ties to the old to continue the story, etc.

"With Taliesin, I asked him that question, and he said, 'No, Molly's not coming back. I intentionally made Molly as a character that if he died, he's not coming back, he's gone.' [...]He said, 'No, I'm going to start working on my new character,' and that's where Caduceus came from. And that's an example of character death being a very harrowing but important shift in story tone and character bonding & intense buy-in into a narrative. And then out of that, a great character like Caduceus that no one realized how badly the Mighty Nein needed him until he was there."

When Matt asked the current three what they wanted right after the Otohan fight, Ashley & Liam both started talking to him about their next characters (Liam sent a whole email of his secondary character right away), but Marisha didn't. Marisha wants to pursue Laudna's story but isn't necessarily invested in her coming back exactly the same. She's interested in what Pandora's box they're about to open in Whitestone and expects there will be consequences. Matt is excited to give her new character choices.

The art team asked for Marisha's backup to get character art going and she said no. She'll sit out as long as she needs to and will not play another character in the meantime.

"That shit's fucked up" that Laudna is being brought back to Whitestone to get resurrected. She has no idea how this will go.

Chetney is a sleuth because Travis played an idiot for his first character. He's learned so much from watching the rest of the table play over seven years. The detection of Yu happened because he was watching a spy show where assassins are texted a picture of the target, and he realized while on a treadmill: "Oh!" Calamity wrecked Travis in a beautiful way; he watched everyone else scheming and wanted to be part of that.

Matt laughed that this little trinket Fearne has been carrying for years as part of her backstory was immediately smashed by Ashton.

Imogen does not feel like a superhero; she feels dangerous and guilty. Marisha lauds Laura's roleplaying in the aftermath. Laura suggests that Imogen IS the moon.

Tower of Inquiry, Re-redux! Before the campaign, everyone shared classes & affirmed they didn't want to be as secretive as C2. Marisha & Laura both wanted to be sorcerers, so they paired up. Fearne & Orym were linked from ExU & Ashton & FCG matched up naturally. Laura's original character had Feywild & hag connections and changed it to not overlap with Fearne. Travis originally had someone else drafted but wanted to get away from the buttoned-up captaincy of Fjord.

Oh NO, hahahah! Travis goes to pull a block and someone in a black cloak and long claws creeps up on him behind to alarm him. It's hilarious and yet he manages to avoid toppling the tower.

Where did your character's names come from? Chutney is not Chetney; Pock O'Pea is a sound Ronin was making when he first started talking, adorable! Marisha had a long list of possible names for Laudna and liked the reference to laudanum; she wanted something weird and hazy that messes with your head. Travis is still on guard after the scare, poor thing. Laura just likes the name Imogen; she wanted something soft and flowy.

Five Nights at Freddy's in the OCULUS??? They want to kill this man, don't they? He dies immediately on the first night before the announcement even finishes. I will say that Laura's response to going second makes Travis look positively stoic. The editors also keep editing in a picture of Sam flickering in the shadows, and it's hilarious. Marisha accidentally picks the sequel to play and dies on night 2 IMMEDIATELY. Matt picks Dark Rooms, the sequel where you're in a house & have to play Red Light, Green Light with a monster coming towards you down the hall & by far handles the game the best. Travis gives a couple tries to the Vent Repair game and gets three of four lights on before being stymied by Simon Says. Good for him! The episode ends with the crew trick or treating and TPing the set. Adorable.

Great episode! Is it Thursday yet?

#critical role #critical role spoilers #4 sided dive #4 sided dive spoilers #long post for ts #very long post for ts #talks machina

[yantao-enthusiast]

MY COMPLETE TTPD PREDICTIONS

disclaimer: this has been posted on february 9th so whatever information comes out afterwards i will not be privy to so don't flame me if something contradicts any of this (or if something has already come out and i'm just. stupid). and this is also predictions so likely most of it will be wrong. so

(also this is really really REALLY long so be prepared if you wanna read!!!!)

general predictions:

k so just gonna put out there first my vibe check: i'm thinking definitely florence and the machine (obviously) and noah kahan and "carolina" vibes for the album. all very instrument heavy, alternative folk vibes. that's my two cents on that

so now for the extensive part. i have this theory that ttpd and midnights will be sister albums? like evermore and folklore, i imagine they're in the same realm of themes and songwriting of each other, like hindsight and reflection and this solemn isolation, while still having completely different production styles like rep/lover. there'll be a comparable amount of literary prowess (yes english major!!) like shown in midnights but deffo full power this time. i think ttpd will be much more mature than midnights, as i believe most of it will be written about the more recent times of her life, rather than midnights having lots of references to events long past.

one of my reasons for the sister album theory is the track "who is afraid of little ol' me?". to me, this reads "anti-hero", "sometimes i feel like everybody is a sexy baby and i'm a monster on the hill; too big (another parallel?) to hang out, slowly lurching towards your favorite city", sort of the antithesis to that idea that she's this scary looming figure or someone who comes in and ruins their time at a football game for just existing perhaps..... but i'll get into that more later about my analysis of each track

reason numero dos is the track "down bad", which could be an obvious reference to "hits different" since they're both obvious slang.... yeah this once i don't really need to explain

now three i will once again be using "hits different" as evidence (i will be using it a lot through this whole thing actually)!! during the bridge of this song, she mentions someone turning their key in the door, thinking it's her lover, or maybe the ever ominous "they" have come to take her away. a couple of tracks on ttpd could definitely connect to someone taking her away, like the tracks "fresh out the slammer" and "guilty as sin?", which following this timeline, would make perfect sense, wouldn't you think?

four is because... joe alwyn. the "tortured man" himself. midnights, the moments they weren't about the obvious past, many have made the point of connecting them to joe. and many of them were about how they got there, some pieces that weren't included in rep, lover, folk, ever, and some about how they inevitably fell apart until "you're losing me". which might just be the perfect transition into ttpd. where even in the titles, there's a desperation there to fix that relationship. the one where in many past albums (rep/lover and folk/ever ALSO sister albums btw), and midnights especially, she writes about clearly putting so much effort and time and love into. in "hits different", she says, "moving on was always easy for me to do," yet throughout that song and in the ttpd tracklist, her grief of this relationship is obvious, much more than even most of her albums via the tracklist alone. does this sound emotionally devastating to you yet? because it does for me!!!! (joe alwyn count your fucking days)

five, and final for now: "the manuscript", a bonus track and also the final track in this bonus edition. now, this might be a stretch but i'm sure you're familiar with "dear reader", the closing track on midnights (3 AM edition)? this manuscript could very very well be what this dear reader has been reading perhaps..... or definitely some sort of parallel in that respect. there's a couple different definitions to manuscript, which are:

a book, document, or piece of music written by hand rather than typed or printed. 

an author's handwritten or typed text that has not yet been published. 

now this could mean "the manuscript" is something written by hand, which could easily fit into the poet era. but it could also be part of "dear reader", a sort of p.s. addition that she didn't say in that song. both of these theories? very plausible but we'll have to see...

now that we have that out of the way...

TRACK PREDICTIONS:

this track list is, as i'm sure everyone is aware, insane. and everyone who has been invested in this relationship, thinking that they were gonna get married and everything, screaming off the walls april 2023, is preparing unhealthy amounts of tissues. so i guess now is the best time to put out an opinion!!!

once again, all predictions which means probably not true and might not align with any information that comes out at a later date! and this is all my interpretation!!! i'm just putting it out there!!!!! okay!!!!! okay!!!!!!

Side A:

"Fortnight" featuring Post Malone

maybe this is starting off strong but i have NO idea what the vibes are gonna be. post malone??? maybe it's like a noah kahan situation but other than that? no idea since i don't really keep up with post malone or know how he'd fit on this track

i've heard theories here and there so i don't have much to say personally other than hearing the theory about how it might be how she had disappeared for a two-week period in between eras tour shows. i think it could also be a reference to "exile" or "the great war", how those are terms often heard in similar situations. my ultimate prediction for the production is something like "cowboy like me" and "safe and sound" in a way? like lonely guitar, tumbleweed in the middle of the desert energy. it's likely a more mellow track to start off, an introduction to the album.

"The Tortured Poets Department"

the title track!!! i obviously was excited about the album title alone and the placement makes me wonder how "fortnight" will be sort of the more palatable opening track and this track will be more harsh .

the title is likely a reference to the recently resurfaced interview talking about how joe alwyn has been in a group chat with some other actors called "the tortured man club", which i referenced earlier. which i'm not gonna be mean. but i hope taylor will say it for me.

maybe it's just my hope but i hope this is a song that builds, similar to "your needs, my needs" by noah kahan. maybe it starts out quiet, the calm before the storm, trying to be nice, then it sort of delves into this idea that she's a writer, made to write scathing lines and beautiful cuts in the form of metaphor. you're the "tortured man"? she's this tortured artist, writing like it would kill her if she didn't. she's absolutely fucking insane. all this escalation with the production swirling in a storm with her. do you see the vision??? is the vision visioning yet???? is this thing on

"My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys"

now this is one of the tracks where it's very clear the bargaining starts.

this is a common thing in toxic/abusive relationships, where "i hurt you because i love you" rhetoric, or the "tough love" concept. where it's "yes, he hurts me but i know he does it because he loves me", which is a horrible idea, of course, but to the victim, they may think that all relationships have flaws, some give-and-take.

now, this song could be about someone else from taylor's past. she could be referring to more mental/emotional abuse, breaking being more of a metaphor, i'm not sure. but i'm definitely very intrigued and concerned. (lowkey, i think there could be a connection to "high infidelity", just from the things mentioned in that song but there's no real evidence)

i think my prediction, from the title, it might be similar in vibes to lana? i don't listen to as much lana, i've only started really listening to her recently, but it could be like something from what i've heard from her "ultraviolence" album, both in themes and production.

"Down Bad"

as i mentioned before, there's obvious similarities in title name to "hits different". once again, per my midnights/ttpd sister album theory, i believe this will be the flipside of "hits different". "oh my! love is a lie"? nope, she's down bad baby!!!

there might be similar themes but my prediction will be her thinking she won't be able to move on, as seen in "hits different", and does everything in her power to make sure the two of them stay together, even overlooking things that hurt or disrespect her, like in the previous track.

as for production, i'm thinking once again lana del rey style but i don't think i could give you more than that, sorry y'all

Side B:

"So Long, London"

gee i wonder who this is about. i really really really

okay so track five. the awful, godforbidden, heart-wrenching track five. with the title "so long, london". rip london boy. rip cornelia street. rip lover.

i don't think i can say much here. it speaks for itself. the fandom has gone nuts enough. i'm going nuts. production? sad. "i hate boston" renee rapp vibes. i'm not fucking ready for this y'all

"But Daddy I Love Him"

back at it again with The Bargaining. also the reference to ariel (i'd seen this theory elsewhere) where she had traded her voice for a chance with this man.... aha..... i wonder if mayhaps we could be hearing about never talking about joe directly, keeping them on the down low......

maybe we'll be hearing the production pick up to be sassier, maybe even her playing a bit of a character/story in this song? or this could be a really really sad one where she's begging that she loves him and she doesn't want to leave and it's almost like a lullaby, like "last kiss" or "new year's day". either or. this album might wreck me btw

"Fresh Out The Slammer"

as mentioned before in my connection to "hits different", it was the metaphorical police after all, because of course joe wasn't there. now, of course, this theory could be completely wrong.

the prison metaphor, which could definitely be a callback to "he can be my jailor, burton to this tailor", as now most happy things in that six relationship have soured. an additional interpretation could mean she had escaped this slammer of the relationship and "hits different" is the grief coming back, trying to be happy about escaping but she's really not. but Who Knows. i'm making shit up. i'm also an insane writer. take it with a grain of salt.

this i'm excited because it's giving southern badass, it's giving first taste of freedom, get me a rifle, a pack of cigarettes, and my cowboy boots, time to exact my revenge of all y'all who put me here!!!!

"Florida!!!" featuring Florence and the Machine

if you couldn't tell from my excessive y'all's, i am indeed a floridian.... can you believe it.

honestly i have very little idea what this might entail but the exclamation marks give me hope i won't be sobbing. there's a theory out and about how she went to florida soon after the breakup for the tour so i'm wondering how that connects, what she's talking about in particular or if she just really loves disney world

my only indication is florence and the machine so i'm hoping it's something in that realm because i do like their songs!!! oh it might also be country-adjacent, considering florida (derogatory) (but it's fine since i like taylor swift country)

Side C:

"Guilty as Sin?"

back at it again with potential prison metaphors. also perhaps a religious reference. which might be relevant to people calling her "demonic" or that she's "strayed from God" or whatever radical Christian bullshit they're on today... or perhaps joe or someone had tried to put the blame on her for something and she's like ????

anyways this could go a few different ways but the question mark has me thinking this might defy my expectations. idk i don't trust it

i honestly have no clue on the production. gun to my head if you asked me for the correct answer, 9/10 my brains will be painting the adjacent wall. but bc this is silly and jolly i'm gonna guess this is gonna be a bit of a classy clapback song since i'm going with the midnights sister album theory and there's a bit of those in there

"Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?"

i've basically already given my thoughts on this. she's literally just a girl. a grown woman at a football game. an international superstar who sings her silly little songs that she wrote with her super serious english major. she's putting so much carbon in the air by flying private? aww sweetie are you trying to blame taylor swift for something you should be blaming on big corporations AGAIN? silly you! educate yourself :)

anyways. so moral of the story is she's literally just a girl. and i hope it's not sad but it could be, like "anti-hero"'s sister.

i hope there's some sort of nature-esque feeling to it. like crickets chirping in the background, leaves rustling. i think it could definitely be like the vibes of a little girl who you've heard urban legend about like carving out the bowels of anyone who disturbs her but she's actually the sweetest little thing. that could be poetic asf. maybe i should be a writer (has not touched my long-term project document in a month)

"I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)"

and you know what. she's so real for this

as a certified attempted fixer, i feel qualified to say this will be a banger. lowkey. i'm begging for a little sexy guitar and drums action. maybe even something a little sultry idk.... gives me that vibes

also yes. more bargaining. but she's SURE she can fix it. and if i know anything, i know i trust taylor swift

"LOML"

see guys, she fixed him? see? see? she so fixed

um so yeah i'm mostly piggybacking on others' theories about this about "loml" not standing for "love of my life" and instead perhaps "love or my life" or "loss of my love" or something adjacent... so um ackshually this will 99% percent be depressing

i have strong feelings about piano here. i think piano will be the main instrument. one: because joe. joe piano. joe piano exile. joe exile. okay. two: because ballad. piano ballad..... guys this is basically a formal essay if you haven't noticed

Side D:

"I Can Do It With A Broken Heart"

so guys i'm starting to believe there may not be happiness on this album. if there is, there is "happiness" by taylor swift and we all know how that goes.

this is sad but badass. she's writing albums, she's on the highest grossing tour ever, she's fucking heartbroken. y'all. an icon. round of applause. i want to give her a hug.

i'm thinking it could be something a bit like "billie bossa nova"??? i have no basis for this assumption. none of this is based on anything. but that's my guess

"The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived"

once again putting the L in joe alwyn.... ricky when i catch you ricky when i

if i hear anything. anything at all about joe needing to belittle her to feel bigger. if there was ANY sort of attempt to make her smaller because he was insecure about his life. i will not be responsible for what happens

it's giving piano, once again, for obvious reasons. but it might be a bit of a builder. but like a soft building song. like "you're on your own, kid". obviously different productions but yk what i mean.... me and my sister album theory bullshit

"The Alchemy"

girl you can't say "never beating the sorcery allegations" then put this as a track like you're really

i don't really have too strong opinions on what this is going to be like except this maybe having some connections to "labyrinth" and "glitch"? my initial thought is something about her and joe's chemistry, maybe about how it died, or something to that extent.

and also no idea on what it might sound like but i'm thinking we might lean into more florence and the machine vibes so yippee

"Clara Bow"

hey so if you know anything about clara bow, or if you're like me, you've seen so many tumblr girlies tell you about the emotionally devastating life of clara bow due to this track name. um

this will definitely be an amazing closing track (at least for the standard edition). it might kill me in the process. but if taylor does one thing right, it's her usage of historical storytelling, as well as the ties and connections to taylor's life will be immaculate. and from what i hear, i might be sobbing my eyes out as well so that's great

i'm feeling strings on this, like violins and all that, soft and tragic. i know clara's story, at least what i've heard, reminds me of "the lucky one" so that might be thrown a bit in there but overall i have a feeling that she's about to call the orchestra

Bonus track: "The Manuscript"

me and the cd i ordered bout to go crazy

i don't really have much else to say since i said most of my piece earlier, connecting it to "dear reader" as per my theory. maybe we'll be leading into a more hopeful note, considering her relationship with travis, or maybe i'm just delusional and i know i'm gonna cry to this

my thoughts on the production i think, as per "dear reader", a bit more minimal, soft like a nurturing hand. it might build but i think overall, it might be the light at the end of the tunnel, the "hey, i know you think it's the end of the world but p.s. i love you and you're gonna get through this". (watch it end up ripping my guts out and spitting on my body)

FINAL THOUGHTS:

though i swore i wouldn't clown, i did think rep tv was about to be announced on grammy's night. i think many of us did. but this is easily just as amazing of an announcement and whether it's like my predictions/wishes or exactly the opposite, i'm really excited to see what world she's invented next for the swifties to dive into! please if anyone has any predictions that are different or adding on, give me your theories.... i want to know...... and ofc thank you taylor for being the gift that keeps on giving and giving (the amount of albums she has released within the past two years alone... insane) (WHILE DOING IT WITH A BROKEN HEART!!!!) and please pretty please have at least one kind of not sad song on this album please okay thanks i love you

#i hope everyone enjoys my slow decent into joe alwyn threatening #this is proof that i probably could write a long essay for college if i decide to go #but only if the topic was taylor swift #also tell me if the formatting sucks i tried my best to make it look nice but idk #okay that aside PLEASE tell me your predictions bc i want to know everyone's thoughts!!!! #the tortured poets department #the tortured poets department taylor swift #ttpd #ts ttpd #ttpd tracklist #ttpd era #ttpd predictions #ts11 #taylor swift #swifties #taylornation #it's so joever #a tag for my very long posts about taylor swift #<3

[taichi-x-koushiro]

Me, when I realize the person who likely harassed me on A.O.3 comments (and was determined by A.O.3 mods to be targeting me with said harassment to the point multiple other accounts they had got banned) is likely back harassing another Taishirou writer without them knowing it: ... I am going to flip (and Not in the Good Way)

#taichixkoushiro posts #taichixkoushiro personal #taichixkoushiro vents #dgmn stan issues #advs stan issues #(If someone comments with a random word and numbers username with no info on it {bonus if they made acct this year}) #(And tries to ~praise~ your Taishiro stories but more specifically lavish you in a ~youre an amazing Taishiro writer!!1!~ way) #({in combination of} while not so subtle 'politely suggeting' {demanding} smut from you??) #(BLOCK THEM) #(They're a troll) #(AND they tried to turn on me and shame me when I ~denied~ them their 'request') #(AND THEY F*CKING INSULTED A CULTURAL HOLIDAY MY FAM HAS OBSERVED AND I WAS *Trying* tO Observe UNTIL THEY PULLED THAT) #(That commenter is NOT GENUINE and they WILL spam your comments for half a year+ only to aggressively turn on & harass you) #(And I highly HIGHLY bet they're not even a KouxTai stan) #(They're just a harasser) #(They also claimed I '~~betrayed!!1!1!~~' the TaixKou fan base by writing a platonic one shot involving Koushiro and Daisuke) #({which Im very definite was also a very fake reaction from them because I bet they dont actually give 2 sh*ts about such platonic duos}) #(I'm hesitating bringing it up to where I saw their comment since it wasn't my story but GODDAMN I WANT To) #(At least here a handful or two more KouxTai fans follow and might notice this P.S.A) #(Anyway THATS also what I've been so angry about as of early 2021~2022 *and* it happened not long after Kizuna dropping) #(which brought a LOT of Particular fans back into the fan base and I'm almost CERTAIN the troll is one of them) #(Namely because this person clearly isn't someone I'm actively acquainted with and is very much an outsider to KouxTai fan base) #({and I recognize other fans who have interacted on my posts} and they're clearly not any of them either) #(They also spammed me with emojis at one point and *clearly* never actually read the stories I posted) #(And kept asking me random questions only to ignore me when I very clearly answered them so YEAH Theyre a Troll) #(DONT let them start doing that to you just because you'd like comments its Not Worth It BLOCK THEM) #*This was a PERSONAL post and NOT meant to be reblogged so Please Do NOT rb my personal posts talking abt MY being harrassed Thanks

[insistonyourcupofstars]

Assign a Taylor Swift song to Boyd Crowder 🥰

Oh, justie, what have you done. It is impossible for me to do just ONE song for Boyd, so instead, I'll do one song from each album 💛

[Edit: 1989 and Lover I couldn't figure out, but I did the rest lol. annnnd we're just going to ignore the "one per album" rule because I couldn't contain myself]

Debut: "Cold As You"

I mean...

"You put up the walls and paint them all a shade of gray // And I stood there loving you, and wished them all away // And you come away with a great little story // Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you"

I'm just thinking about teen!Boyd and his growing feelings for Raylan, just for Raylan to leave Harlan and Boyd, when it all became too much. That and the frustration of being kept like a secret when Boyd kept him like an oath...

Fearless (Taylor's Version): "Change" and "You're Not Sorry"

Again, teen!Boyd is something that can be so personal.

"And it's a sad picture, the final blow hits you // Somebody else gets what you wanted again and // You know it's all the same, another time and place // Repeating history and you're getting sick of it // But I believe in whatever you do // And I'll do anything to see it through"(Change)

AND

"Looking so innocent // I might believe you if I didn't know // Could've loved you all my life // If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold"(You're Not Sorry)

Do you ever just think about how bitter and lonely Boyd must have been as a kid?? I always picture him as those lone wolf kind of kids, no one wanting to mess with Bo Crowder's enigmatic boy. But he finally finds a friend, builds a relationship, a friendship, a bond, and what does his friend do? He leaves. He does what Boyd can't, and Boyd resents him. AHHHHHH!!!!

Speak Now: "Haunted" and "Story of Us"

"Stood there and watched you walk away // From everything we had // But I still mean every word I said to you // [Sh]e will try to take away my pain // And [sh]e just might make me smile // But the whole time I'm wishing [sh]e was you instead" (Haunted)

Something something Boyd is moving on to Ava because she is an unsevered tie between him and Raylan...

"And you're doing your best to avoid me // I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us // How I was losing my mind when I saw you here // But you held your pride like you should have held me" (Story of Us)

1.01 BOYD!!!

Red (Taylor's Version): "Run"

It's giving Ava/Boyd feels...

"There's been this hole in my heart // This thing was a shot in the dark // Say you'll never let 'em tear us apart // And I'll hold onto you while we run (and we run, and we run, and we run) // Like you'd run from the law (and we run, and we run, and we run)"

1989: ----

sorry, I don't think 1989 fits with Boyd at all.

Reputation: "I Did Something Bad"

I, personally, like to think of "he" as Bo, especially considering how Boyd was with him in season one. Boyd would do anything to stick it to Bo, and that is exactly what this song is about.

"I never trust a narcissist // But they love me // So I play 'em like a violin // And I make it look oh so easy // 'Cause for every lie I tell them // They tell me three // This is how the world works // Now all he thinks about is me"

Lover: ----

idk.

Folklore: "exile," "seven," and "hoax"

1. do I say ava/boyd or raylan/boyd?? neither - it's a boyd&johnny song

"I think I've seen this film before // And I didn't like the ending // You're not my homeland anymore // So what am I defending now? // You were my town // Now I'm in exile, seein' you out" (exile)

2. Okay, so canon kind of confuses me on how long Raylan and Boyd have known each other, so this could go into headcanon territory, but imagining little Boyd trying to comfort little Raylan because they both have shit fathers, and they want to run away together to be pirates :(((

"And I've been meaning to tell you // I think your house is haunted // Your dad is always mad and that must be why //And I think you should come live with // Me and we can be pirates // Then you won't have to cry // Or hide in the closet // And just like a folk song // Our love will be passed on"(seven)

3. "hoax" reminds me of Boyd after Bo murders his group in season one, and I like to think of this as Boyd losing his faith in God.

"Stood on the cliffside // Screaming, "Give me a reason" // Your faithless love's the only hoax // I believe in // My only one // My kingdom come undone // My broken drum // You have beaten my heart" (hoax)

Evermore: "cowboy like me" -> this feels too obvious, is there an edit for this yet??

I mean, this is just Boyd and Raylan through the series.

"And the skeletons in both our closets // Plotted hard to fuck this up // And the old men that I've swindled // Really did believe I was the one // And the ladies lunching have their stories about // When you passed through town // But that was all before I locked it down"

Midnights (3am edition): "Midnight Rain"

It's about how Boyd is an ever-evolving chameleon, and Raylan refuses to change himself, sticking out like a sore-thumb

"My town was a wasteland // Full of cages, full of fences // Pageant queens and big pretenders // But for some, it was paradise // He stayed the same // All of me changed like midnight"

#justie I have to apologize #I tried very hard not to make this about boyd/raylan and I failed spectacularly #hopefully you still enjoy it lol #I love my southern gothic comedy #asks #dyinglikeastar #this post is so long. #ts #justified

[amaranth]

my top kpop songs of 2022 ♡

i was tagged by @delhyun thank you lia! it was really a struggle to not make this whole post the last scene album... tagging @kokaibop @byunbaekhyunie @sechan!! sorry if you’ve already been tagged + feel free to ignore

#this was difficult ksjdnf and this is also the first time i've used a template i think so!!! very fun #also i clearly go for very mellow songs lol i love all of these so much #tagged things #long post for ts #ee #gifs

[menelaiad]

can I prompt you to talk about Menelaus sparing Helen I'm just like :chinhands: about everything u say about the house of atreus

hey, if you're willing to listen, i'm more than happy to talk - thank you!

so. again. we got Big Three versions.

menelaus says 'guys it's chill i'll kill her at home. let's all cool our jets' (this is the version in euripides)

menelaus goes to kill her himself. helen shows her boobs. menelaus suddenly very chill (this is also implied by euripides)

menelaus gets men to kill her. helen shows her boobs. men suddenly very chill (stesichorus)

CAN YOU GUESS WHICH TWO I DESPISE? no. fr. the last two (the boob two) are far too dependent on helen being vain. and helen .... almost not feeling any guilt or shame from what's happened. and we know that's not true from the iliad. these two, to me, are classic. THIS IS JUST HOW HOT HELEN WAS propaganda. cause yknow. ur a greek/roman/ancient dude and you hear that helen of sparta showed you her boobs like 'damn bro i wouldn't kill her either ahahahaha pass the wine, maximus'.

but helen was never vain. she was never arrogant. she was confident and self-assured. but it's pretty much everyone AROUND helen that comments on her beauty and stuff. she never really does herself? which is another fascinating element of her character tbh. so her doing THIS as a means to be spared? doesn't suit me. do i think helen wanted to die/was willing to die? no. but i think she would have gone about pleading for her life a different way, y'know? also i hate the whole 'her tits got her into this mess they'll get her out of it' like shut UP. menelaus is not 12. he's fucking 60 odd at this point. he is tired. he is wounded. he is so beyond mentally well. give him some respect. he wouldn't have been blind sided by this.

but i don't think menelaus EVER planned to kill her. i can accept euripudes' version cause i think there would have been a lot of greek men that would have wanted to see helen dead. it makes sense yknow? they dont see the full narrative. the big picture. as far as they're concerned helen ran away. loads of people died. and now she's gonna get away with it. they're not narrative aware enough to see all the cogs of fate and the gods and all this. so i can respect that some greeks would have wanted her to suffer and menelaus would have risked a fuckin riot if he outright said 'nah lads she's fine lets crack on' so the whole 'wait til we get home' narrative is a good way for him to save time. to buy him and helen some time to come up with a plan, a story. to hear each other out. to work through stuff. they don't get back to sparta for like. 10 more years. they can EASILY have come up with some reason why she's not been killed yet. or why he's not gonna go through with it/why it's all worked out.

in regards to menelaus never wanting to kill her, i believe that because of how menelaus behaves in the iliad. menelaus is constantly lamenting the deaths of the greeks. the needless death and suffering. how these men are working and sacrificing to get helen back. to bring her HOME. what would killing her do? another senseless death. all the sacrifice for naught because menelaus doesnt get his wife back. he goes back to sparta alone. as if he never even went to fucking troy and tried to get her back?????

and also because menelaus loves her. despite everything he loves her and he never stopped. it's why i really like his portrayal in IOA even if he is a giant ass clown. he's a man desperate to get his wife back. and he's under the impression they're just gonna go to troy and get her back. simple as. two months tops. he's frantic and desperate and willing to try anything to get her back (yo bro kill ur daughter for me kthx). and i don't think that desire to get her back changes. menelaus grows more subdued and quiet. and has less fire. but he's still trying. he goes toe to toe with paris, is willing to take on hektor. menelaus is very much: 'i am dying at troy or i am leaving with my wife' and how is that not love? it's literally. he is going to get her back or die trying.

(also idk how much people value to fall of troy texts that are around but like. menelaus kills deiphobus in those. when dei is with helen. the man is insane in those moments he could easily have took helen out too in his madness. but he doesn't. also also. when he's in the horse and he hears helen, he's said to 'groan' when he remembers her and given the context of the other men weeping and stuff. this is like. a groan of pain. hearing helen's voice after so long and remembering her. HURTS him. he's missed her so much.)

menelaus and helen loved each other. you see it in odyssey 4. the healing they must have gone through in those 10 years. is so admirable and powerful. and they did it because they wanted to. because they were gonna see this out. they were gonna make this work. and even zeus acknowledges it. because he lets menelaus into elysium just to be with helen (his own DAUGHTER) for eternity. even though menelaus has LITERALLY no elysium qualities. not even zeus cant bear to separate these two.

they're just so fucking powerful.

#long post for ts /// #menelaus #yes i am starting to tag my menelaus stuff. ive studied him for a decade. #ive given talks on him. ive written papers and been referenced in essays im about him #2023 is the year i embrace the 'menelaus expert' meme #that isn't ............. talking to a class and having them stare at me for like an hour #i have no idea if anyone agrees with ANYTHING i ever say #but i refuse to be silenced tbh #havent been quiet about the HOA for ten years. im not starting now #thank you for the kind words though friend!!! this passion has a very special place in my heart #it's nice to have an outlet for my menelaus thoughts <3