#very much considered making the last box say ‘lol no’ but I ultimately decided against it 😂😂

[starbuck]

#this is the meme version of that intro to The Philoctetes #when Philoctetes is like ‘are you asking me to go to Troy for my benefit or for the benefit of the Atreidae?’ #and it’s like ‘neither king 😔 it’s for the benefit of The Narrative’ #the idea that characters must concede their very humanity to The Narrative is so brutal and horrifying and i’m in love with it #and OBVIOUSLY it can also be applied to Black Sails #Silver going through the whole story resisting The Narrative every step of the way but ultimately getting sucked into it entirely and #fully taking its side in the end #and being the one to enforce what the audience knows was inevitable from the start… #(Silver has some Aeneas energy going on but we don’t have time to unpack all of that rn) #but ANYWAY!!!!!! #yeah. i am Upset. #very much considered making the last box say ‘lol no’ but I ultimately decided against it 😂😂 #hopefully the Energy still shines through

[probably-haven]

Hello!! After seeing what you wrote about xiaoven fics I went to see what things you usually write and omg, your archon Venti headcanons????? I am absolutely in love. So if it isn't annoying, could you talk about xiaoven or Venti or Xiao or whatever ship or character you like? I don't care what you are going to say, I just want to know more about your thoughts ^^

I- is this... bestie, this is essentially a free ramble pass- kerujsgheskdfug. Trust me when I say that in no way is this, and in no way will it ever be annoying in the slightest- i literally- lets just say rambling off thoughts is kind of my specialty, especially when provided a topic to branch off of because otherwise I'm just- really indecisive about it so- iujskdh yeah- 100% definitely down to talk about Venti, Xiao, and/or Xiaoven XD. Also, yes- it may have been awhile since i last posted one(cuz again, indecisive about which direction to take part 5), but the Archon War Era Venti headcanons are still without a doubt my favorite posts I've made. It's just such an interesting topic with such endless potential that so few people actually think about or consider or even realize is there, so i always just get really psyched whenever i see someone interact with them lol.

.... this ended up being a bit of a mess: warning in advance

Anyway! onto the actual content!

- You see the thing about Xiaoven is that there's a lot of different ways that it could end up working out, and just personally my favorite way of portraying Xiaoven in my mind is as an unlabeled relationship because if anyone in genshin would give off that vibe its these two. And a number of other reasons.

- Firstly, I heavily headcanon Venti as being an aroace polyplatonic or perhaps heavily demiromantic. However, regardless of this I just don't think that Venti is really the kind of person to worry about how he should label his feelings, thinking it's silly to try to put them in one box or the other, especially with feelings and emotions being as fluid as they are in general. Plus it fits his whole God of Freedom vibe. I just- dont think he's the biggest fan of labels or social categorization in general.

- And secondly on the hand of Xiao... his defense mechanisms are very much ingrained in his personality. It's probably hard enough for him to not go into fight or flight(the answer is fight) at the slightest affection at first, at the slightest feeling of vulnerability. Even further down the line, with his fierce dedication to Liyue, I cant help but get the vibe that the moment he recognized that he was falling for Venti he would begin avoiding him, not only to avoid distraction from his duty, but to avoid corrupting him or losing him in general like he has with like basically every other person he gets close with(even believing that the cycle had repeated once more when he first heard of Morax's death)... now imagine Venti tryna slap a label on their relationship and tell me Xiao would have a positive reaction.

- The thing with Xiaoven.... honestly, i feel like theres more ways that it can go wrong than it can go right, but if they do manage to make their relationship work out, it's just simply beautiful in all terms of the word.

- Lets talk about killing. - During the Archon War, both were forced to kill a large number of people and gods alike- Venti out of a need to remain alive to protect Mondstadt, it's freedom, and the nameless bard's legacy by extent- and Xiao out of servitude to the god that was once his master

..... actually- break here- ive talked a lot about Venti on this blog but I havent actually spoken about Xiao all that much- so i should probably do that a bit first... do note though that my characterization of Xiao is pretty flexible actually- this is just- the possible characterization of him that i tend to favor as being the most- uh- "realistically complex"

-

Theres a line I saw this one time in a certain story: "He is a trained weapon. That's what he is, was, and always will be. You cannot change that so stop trying." And i just- think its a really interesting concept- that applies pretty well to Xiao now that i actually think about it. - the concept behind it is this: After spending more than a vast majority of his life killing or otherwise in battle, it's become a part of who he is, a normalcy that after centuries and centuries would be near impossible to get rid of or reverse, and even if it was possible, with his karmic debt constantly eating away at him its unlikely he has enough time left for that to happen. - it sounds like a cruel thing to say about him- but in context it's actually pretty layered and i think about it a lot. It's not as much a "he's a killer lol, that his whole personality" its more of a "The centuries of trauma he experienced have conditioned him into a constantly alert and battle ready mindset while also shaping his dehumanizing inferior-in-worth-but-superior-in-capability view of himself that would have likely been necessary to get through those time, and at this point he's been under that conditioning for long enough that it's essentially ingrained itself in his personality."

- the main idea is- it's a part of who he is, that needs to be accepted as who he is because its not something that he can just up and change. It's not all he is of course but his constant battle mode, as though always waiting to be ambushed or to be granted a new target to eradicate.

a couple character story quotes:

-"His past of service under the evil god had rid Xiao of his innocence and gentleness. All that remained within him was the means to kill and the weight of his sins. The only way he could be of service to mortals was in combat." -"Xiao does not feel any hatred. Having lived for over two thousand years, no single karmic debt constitutes anything more than a fleeting memory. No grudge can last a thousand years; nor is any debt so great that it cannot be paid off in this time. Xiao has spent many long years alone. But his battles have never been in vain." -"where did Xiao have to return to? He was merely leaving the battlefield." -"since Xiao wages a constant war against dark forces powerful enough to devour Liyue in its entirety, any bystanders who witness him in the heat of battle are likely to end up as collateral damage." -"The war he fights can never be won, and will never come to an end." -"Because ultimately, the one with whom Xiao wrestles is himself."

i feel like at some point this very nearly did consume his whole personality, almost turning him into nothing more than a being of slaughter under Morax's control, devoid of any "humanity" at all, consumed and corrupted by his karmic debt like his fellow yakshas before him. - until he experienced a moment of clarity- a song in the wind, the peaceful melody of a dihua flute. - and pulled back from the border of something he wouldnt have been able to return from, there a was a shift in his mind- a concept grown unfamiliar enough with time that it took him a great time to identify what it was; a curiosity. Something that there was no place for on the battlefield, something that by all means should have been completely useless to Xiao, and yet he held onto that curiosity, slowly regaining over time, a sense of who he was and who he could choose to be with each song that the wind chose to carry towards him every once in a blue moon.

and eventually that curiousity turned to longing. Longing "for a day to come when he will wear the mask and dance — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers"

...... uh- heh- if you couldn’t tell already i have a tendency to make my characterizations/analyses of characters more serious that i probably should. 

to summarize: Xiao is constantly toeing the line between his ingrained nature and his humanity- almost as though still trying to decide how much of that humanity he deserves to have, how much he is allowed to have, and how much is safe to have.

^looking back after writing this, i think the best way to explain it is that this is the view that i keep in mind/the lense that i tend to most enjoy looking through and refering back to while examining and/or analyzing his character, actions, story, lines, and overall personality.

idk- i kinda got off track but i just think its a really interesting interpretation to think about because it has some really interesting implications ig- it’s not the full extent of how i view him of course, but i kinda got ahead of myself and its long enough as is so ill just elaborate as i go- Lol i actually have in progress playlists for both him and venti and just- vibes- i could ramble about the playlists alone for hours explaining everything... It’s probably a problem- uh- ill keep going now lol.

anyways! stepping off the angst path for a brief break! Brought to you by their lines in the snow: both waiting for it to get thick enough, Venti for the purpose of a snowball fight and Xiao for the purpose of a tasty and nutritious breakfast.

but its actually something of note that Xiao doesnt actually need to eat so anything he does eat is usually out of obligation or enjoyment- so like.... snow.... like i dont blame him, but of all things- an adeptus who refuses to eat basically anything but almond tofu looks at the freezing-cold-floor-water that yeeted itself from above and decided at some point- damn- that seems more edible than basically ever single actually edible thing ever.... im gonna eat it- like- im glad if eating snow makes him happy but- at the same time...

He probably convinces Venti to eat snow too though and Venti wouldnt even resist I mean he’s wind and has probably consumed worse things in his time so- 2 anemo cryptids with glowing tattoos sitting in Dragonspine monching snow in the dead of night is an amusing thought to me.

- kay, now back to more serious-toned thoughts

One of the things about the ship that i really like is the different contradicting parallels between them:

A lot of how i view Xiao’s character is someone formed largely by the things he cant control and who was forced to accept that accepted that and learned to thrive in it as much as he can.  Venti on the other hand is surrounded by things he cant control and is ever adapting to control as much as he can while embracing whatever he cant as being part of the unpredictability of the world, seeing beauty in it. 

both of them have lost people and do what they do to honor their memory: Xiao continues to do what the Yakshas once did And Venti chooses to do what his friend couldn’t

Xiao’s power coming from himself  and Venti’s from others And both seem to appear to use their power for their own gain while truly helping others behind the scenes

both have killed a lot of people during the archon war Xiao views it as another necessary event out of his control and Venti would likely view it as a tragedy he chose to enact himself

and this is where we meet out balance

Xiao- contrary to how i think a lot of people view him as thinking of himself as a monster- seems canonically to have accepted this as part of his duty, as long as those he killed are not mortals. I dont think he enjoys it no- but someone has to do it and he’s just accepted that its a part of his duty Venti on the other hand-

See the beauty of the ship- as someone with an angst-centric mind- is this- these are two of the most traumatized mfers in the game 

Xiao is by far the one who needs the most help and who can serve to benefit most from the ship- but he is nowhere near self aware enough to recognize that there’s anything wrong or unhealthy about his mindset in the slightest-

whereas you have the contrast with Venti who sorted through most of his trauma with the nameless bard alone during the archon war and while the result appears more healthy- is still really not- but he’s not self aware of that either because i mean- who’s going to tell him? nobody even knows. 

however- venti is aware enough to notice flaws in Xiao’s mindset and “Venti” enough to want to help them through it-

Xiao- while not aware enough to recognize the flaws in Venti’s mindset, can recognize where it contrasts with his own, and is blunt enough to point it out- and then it’s out there to be mulled over- 

they’re so similar and yet so different and a feel just conversing between the two of them, being in each others precense, just being exposed to two mindsets that are so very different could do both of them a whole lot of good.

GEEE THAT BIT OF RAMBLING HAD LITTLE TO NO DIRECTION AT ALL- LET ME-- LET ME MAKE THIS START MAKING SENSE- WITH... DYNAMICS OR SOMETHING

I don’t think Xiao needs to sleep really- and i dont think that sleeping would do anything except make him uneasy at first- he’d probably just get nightmares after all he’s been through- but with Venti he would soon learn that it doesn’t have to be that way, lulled into the first peaceful sleep he’s had in... as long as he can remember.

anywho back to not making sense cuz im fickle and i think most questions about ships are best displayed through character interactions so like- a possible exchange thats cliche but cliches exist for a reason

Xiao: Why do you try so hard to help me, it isn’t easy. I know that much Venti, with the most adoring expression: Because you’re worth it, obviously Xiao: But surely there are others more deserving of- Venti: No Xiao, everyone is just as deserving as the next person, you included Xiao: Then why me above others? Venti: ehe, cuz ur my warrior of course [O//////O oh shit, hes right] Xiao: My contract is with Morax alone [gay panic but in broody yaksha]

it’s kinda difficult cuz neither of them really address their feelings.  I mean Venti does but he does it very indirectly and its rare that he ever does it with like- genuine directness- even spilling his backstory was in the form of a song- and told in the third person- so a lot of their interactions would often have some deeper meaning, especially with Venti being the bard he is. 

I come up with a lot of- errant thoughts about Xiaoven- but this is making me realize that a true analysis of their ship is rather difficult because it just encompasses so many dynamics so its hard to settle on just one and not go rambling about who knows what bouncing from one end of the ship to the other-  Because you truly can and thats the beauty of it

within one moment you can be having a heartfelt conversation about the archon war the impact of lost friends and times past, and the next moment Venti is trying to forcefeed Xiao an apple while Xiao screams about disrespecting the adepti and its just- so lovely

so while they have picnics with nothing but apples, dandelion wine, and almond tofu they can sit down and talk about the dreams Xiao once devoured, and the dandelion wine and apple cider that the first Ragnvindir invented from the plants that never could have grown in Old Mond. The foods that tasted of familiarity, or of the grilled ticker fish Pervases always used to eat, foods that tasted of friends and frankly family that had since passed, glaze lilies and cecilias and qingxin flowers scattered in the surroundings and woven into Xiao’s neat braids and Venti’s now messy ones, rebraided by the steady and inexperienced hands of one unused to gentle action. 

and then of course Venti steals Xiao’s tofu once the mood becomes too grim and replaces it with a bottle of wine that Xiao refers to as “vile poison,” a remark that fatally wounds Venti as he collapses on the floor, proclaiming how he can only be healed by a Yaksha’s kiss. Xiao ignores this of course and simply takes back his tofu with a slight smile on his face, but as Venti persists he soundlessly places a kiss on his own palm before intertwining their fingers and pulling him back up from where he was dramatically sprawled on the floor, grumbling about how such action was “unbecoming of an archon.” A sign of affection only Xiao would ever know about. But Venti is literally wind and I hc his senses work differently anyways so he definitely knows- plus Xiao’s face is red as the blood of his enemies and the way he is pointedly not looking at Venti at all really speaks volumes anyways. 

 -Venti playing epic battle music whenever Xiao goes into fights in what looks like a ridiculously extra performance to anyone else but is actually doing wonders to keep Xiao’s karma at bay

-Venti preaches the practice of “kissing wounds better” and Xiao is unfamiliar with this medical treatment but views it as unnecessary regardless because adepti have accelerated healing, doesn’t mean he’s going to stop him though. 

-Messages whispered on the wind

-Venti’s 1000 year sleep- an accident, not a fun time for the yaksha, and not a fun time for Venti once he woke up. Venti is actually more afraid of restful sleep than Xiao is, hence the sleeping in trees thing, but when Xiao is there, he can sleep restfully with faith that Xiao wont let another millennia slip through his fingertips. 

- Xiao tends to make excuses when doing things that aren’t necessary to his duty, like in his birthday voice line “Have this, it’s a butterfly i made from leaves... Okay. Take it. It’s an adepti amulet -- it staves off evil” because at the current point in his progress it helps him to feel like he’s allowed to do these things. Not wanting to put him off from progress, Venti never comments on his excuse but never fails to whisper a quick reminder of how proud he is of how far Xiao had come.

- Xiao’s karma saddens Venti greatly- not only because of how it effects Xiao but also because its a reminder that as much as Venti tries to honor the memory of those he’s killed, there will always be those who resent him for it, and when he took the option of living away from them, he truly can’t blame them. - And when he gets too wrapped up in thoughts, whether around this topic or similar ones or otherwise, eventually, he’ll hear the sound of a flute on the wind. It’s not divine by any means, but as his own wind connects him to the source, he gets the sentiment all the same. “What impact does one individual’s remaining wrath have on the present. You have done much to help the living in the present” the unspoken idea that Xiao has included himself in that statement, because now, with Venti’s help he’s beginning to learn just how to experience living for himself. 

- Venti’s form and Xiao’s mask are off limit topics though because if either mentions it the other will counter with the opposite and the mood will turn immediately bitter at the idea that both know that what they’re doing is destructive but neither are willing to change

- Venti who has different tells for negative feelings than most people because as much as he likes to pretend it is- this form isnt his, and Xiao who is able to identify those

- many fanfics and headcanons have Venti recognizing when Xiao is uncomfortable and getting him out of those situations. I see that and I love it but i raise you: - Venti taking Xiao to Mondstadt, careful that he doesn’t get to the point that he’s uncomfortable. And nothing goes wrong exactly, but Xiao notices the the way Venti’s cape is blowing in the wind, the way he’s holding his weight, barely on his feet so much as floating on the wind, connected with the ground only for the sake of appearance, all the while he looks just as happy go lucky as ever. And without a word, he grabs his hand and teleports them both out of Mondstadt.  - turns out it was just a slight thing that reminded him of the archon war (cuz i will die on the hill of him having more tragic backstory than just Decarabian), and he of course gives a sincere if not flustered thanks to Xiao, because he’s really not used to people noticing. 

- Venti trying to vent sneakily through fictional stories and Xiao is just like “Didn’t that basically happen to you” and Venti is just like “<_< shit”

- Venti once said affectionally that he wished he had met Xiao sooner and Xiao immediately and seriously shot it down by saying “If you had, I would have been forced to kill you” and both of them now stay up at night wondering who would have won that fight, not sure which result would have hurt more. (because honestly I have no idea who would win in that fight and that terrifies me- I like to think it would have been one of those legends that end with “and the fight persists to this day” or something along those lines)

- “How long have you been together?” “Adepti have no need for-” “1000+ years T^T how dare you deny our love” “O///O our...? ...useless”

- its disney- let me explain- i have this- i have this headcanon inspired by watching too many animatics- - so venti has a human form that isnt his- which he would have had to get used to moving in- and he’s a bard- - uh- anyway- as a third degree black belt in mixed martial arts, i can speak as an authority on this(not really an authority since i havent gone since quarantine but lets pretend). We have a thing referred to as the big three(most things do), and those things are martial arts, gymnastics, and dance. The idea is that they reflect really well off of each other and the best in any one category are good in all three. Timing, balance, form, discipline, technique, hand-eye coordination, grace, ease of motion, they all play a part- anyway-

- Venti taking Xiao’s prowess in martial arts and acrobatics and teaching him how to dance, and as someone who’s extremely skilled in the first two, the third comes easy to him, almost naturally. And it’s delicate and beautiful and lovely and it isn’t hurting anyone. And Venti points all these things out and more and despite how much Xiao insists that he feels ridiculous he truly does enjoy it and it goes a long way towards helping him form more healthy views of himself and his worth.  - Verr Goldett walked in on him once and made a joke about performing at the inn. unfortunately Venti was there and agreed on Xiao’s behalf before he could protest and- and it wasn’t as bad as Xiao thought it would be... he still wouldn’t do it again though without reason, but with good enough reasoning he could probably be convinced. 

- anyways point is he likes dancing to Venti’s songs and i just think that’s really cute - just picture the idea that all the animatics you see actually have the potential to be canon- ugh

- venti tries holding something out of Xiao’s reach since he’s taller and Xiao just fucking teleports 

- both need their space but when they dont, all they have to do is speak the other’s name and they’ll be there.

- and because i just had to.... love languages

- lets start with Xiao- i don’t think he’d view acts of service or quailty time as a love language tbh, and he blunt but really bad with words so affirmation is out, leaving gift giving and physical touch. However, he seems to view most material things as meaningless so- - Xiao who’s love language is in his fleeting touches, something he’s only recently grown comfortable with because of Venti, and now is giving back, which he knows he doesn’t have to do, but that he want’s to, though he’ll still continue to make excuses for each one. “you were shivering” “The inn is high up, you could have fallen..... I said what I said, you’d question an adeptus?”

- and as easy as it is to say words of affirmation for Venti- he does that for everyone- i want to say his is actually acts of service - its the acts of service that let him see just how much Xiao has progressed afterall, from teaching him to dance, to playing another song on the flute, to supplying him with the almond tofu he seems to enjoy so much. Every little thing he does helps Xiao to grow and he couldn’t be happier about that. 

-

- of course most of my headcanons for the ship do take place latter into the relationship because- y’know the less serious unhealthy vibes allow for greater range of thought, but i do still love to think about the serious implications so i kinda hopped back and forth. So sorry about how messy it is btw, i kinda- got carried away- it kinda got some kind of structure near the end tho so- maybe it’s okay. anyway- back to... lol something, we’ll see where thought forests lead. 

#genshin impact #genshin xiao #genshin venti #xiao #venti #xiaoven #genshin analysis #genshin headcanons #xiaoven headcanons #xiaoven analysis #this is a mess i really shouldnt be putting all these tags but oh well #oh wow the grammar and spelling here is truly repulsive #sorry to all my english teachers i have failed you all

[gingus-doon]

For AUs... How about an AU where Keiji and Megumi both survive the First Trial? I'd like your take on that :)

you have opened pandora's box! i hope you're prepared to read a whole ass essay JSHDKABD

BUT SERIOUSLY TY THIS IS SO INTERESTING!! i saw your post on this already and commented on it then (in the tags ofc JGVKDDJDJ), bUT that was the meta of yours that inspired me to think that, maybe, keiji wouldn't be the way he is without that particular first trial and its outcome..? so i'll be operating under that assumption for these scenarios, so as not to feed a fed horse! (as peta would say,)

this does seem like quite the task, considering that it would require both conceptualizing megumi when we have minimal information about her, and reconceptualizing keiji to the keiji before the death game, when we also have minimal information on how he thinks in general... (and his characterization in this is all based on a theory to begin with, so it's not the most steady foundation lol)

of course, their first trial would need to be something else for this au… to keep things simple, it'd be best if it was neutral– neither him saving or not saving megumi, to neither restore nor forsake his faith in himself. megumi saving him would probably leave some positive impression of her on him too, so a trial which includes none of those things would be mosy fitting. but the trial itself isn't what's interesting, so i won't go into it further djdksbdk.

assuming they don't have a trial together, they'd meet each other the first time with everyone else-- i'm sure megumi would recognize keiji after the initial shock of how different he looks. and even if keiji tried to distance himself from her, she'd mention she knows keiji right away. i do think she'd have quite a bit of logic in her, but not an unsympathetic amount! however, she has been shown to throw morality to the wind when protecting keiji in the past (though asunaro may have been involved in the coverup in ways we don't yet know), so i think she'd do something similar here. she'd say she knows him and possibly that he's a police officer to solidify his standings amongst the other participants, assuming that keiji doesn't lie for himself first.

speaking of what keiji would do… so, i'm reconceptualizing him as more solemn and maybe a bit less guarded? however, it's also important to keep some level of his chill with his stupid grin and avoidance, because that constitutes a large part of how he copes with his trauma. a keiji wrestling between solemn genuineness and avoidant nonchalance, protector and sacrificer, logic and emotion! a mid-way between the two extremes of before the shooting and during the normal death game. definitely more stoic, though… less smiley but not brooding either. i think a more stoic, perhaps more reserved personality pre-death game would make a lot of sense for keiji, considering that he has absolutely no friends.

BUT ANYWAY!! back to what i was saying– i think megumi would lie in keiji's favour, because she wants to get him out of there alive (sympathetic megumi ftw!) but she may hold it over his head a bit, if only to keep him in line with her plans by means of guilt. it's worth it, though, if she can make up for what happened with the shooting– really, she couldn't believe it when she saw keiji! after he quit, i bet they'd barely seen each other since. the bags under his eyes make his face look so gaunt and haunted compared to how he was when he was a kid…

she still treats him like a kid, too. they slowly fall into the mentor-pupil relationship again they had before, by habit, like ancient cogs beginning to turn for the first time in years. but, this isn't all easygoing, of course.

i don't think megumi would apologise for the coverup. at least, not right away. she seemed very keen on ignoring it back when the shooting happened, so despite any guilt she'd have around the incident, she doesn't bring it up. keiji's somewhat content to keep it that way as well, considering that facing what he did would shatter him. but being with megumi is like facing the shooting… i'm sure being with her like that would bring up bad memories and relight slumbering resentment. he'd eventually want an apology, an explanation, something… how soon "eventually," would be, though, i'm not sure. especially considering that keiji wants to survive, and megumi will help him do that.

though, i think keiji's will to live in this scenario would be a little weaker, oddly enough. because when he kills megumi, that plunges him into the confirmation of himself as a sinner-- he has more to run from, and if he's killed two people now for the sake of his well-being (first because he feared for his life, second in hopes of being rid of his trauma), why not do it again? he's not going to dwell on it anyway, he's not going to look…

but keiji in this scenario is wrestling with himself. he'd still like to be a protector. maybe… it's still possible? maybe he's not damned just yet? maybe there's worth in sacrificing his life for the more vulnerable.

and that internal conflict could potentially clash harshly against megumi's goals of getting them out alive by any means necessary. she's not malicious, and she wouldn't try to get someone killed for the fuck of it, but when it comes down to it, she's just there for them.

i do think megumi would feel guilty for the children, though… gin and kanna are so young. sara is so bright-eyed and clever, it almost reminds her of what keiji was like back then… but she's willing to shoulder the guilt of murder for keiji this time, if only to finally atone for what she did to him and to save herself as well.

there's a few ways this could go though!! i have about four. 1) megumi is ruthlessly logical as keiji is in the actual game, and keiji goes along with it for the sake of his own survival. they end up being the sole survivors of the death game; keiji hates megumi and is entirely broken // 2) same as the last one except the rest of them thwart megumi and keiji's evil plans and maybe keiji and / or megumi die.. :v // 3) megumi is still ruthlessly logical BUT keiji's resentment of megumi and his morals push him away from her and he works against her to protect everyone // 4) megumi starts out logically, but noticing how keiji has changed as a result of his trauma and how cold he's become (she can see the same strains of her "forget morality, save yourself" logic in him and some of his decisions) she decides to let herself fall to emotion and either sacrifices herself for keiji or someone else.

and, some misc. things i didn't get to mention above....!!

i REALLY loved your idea of megumi being team mom. with the above in mind, it's exactly parallel to keiji's role in the normal death game! a should-be protector wracked by guilt who abuses their power regardless. and to think of keiji potentially taking on the role of the abuser while also possibly being one of the vulnerable underneath the force of that power… it's just really interesting!

depressing parallels aside though, i think megumi would be a nice sensible mom figure for this group of idiots sjfhddj. maybe a little blunt or initially distant, but ultimately caring.

as for her role in a wider sense, i think megumi would actually be more trustworthy than keiji is in the normal death game. although she has the disadvantage of sexism working against her, she's actually in a police outfit and lacks the shady appearance. i'm certain she could conduct herself in a way that would garner everyone's trust-- she wouldn't have any questions she needed to dodge like keiji in the main game, unless keiji brought up the shooting, but even then, that's much less severe than murder. there wouldn't be any creepy flirting with her either, not only because there's no questions to dodge in the first place, but i think she'd opt to use her authority to harshly shut down any opposition, like she did with keiji after the shooting. and when that fails, she'd fall back on logical and / or manipulative rebuttals. i also think a large part of why nao and reko specifically don't like keiji is because he's a man! a creepy man at that, and that feeling really is justified, but the point is that megumi's a woman, a respectable woman, so they wouldn't have the same qualms with her. she could also prove herself to be a more capable leader than sara, being older and still having a cool head. she'd very much come off as a reliable leader if she tried to, i think.

but back to happier things!! i think keiji would take on a less authoritative role if under megumi's wing. it's hard to say exactly how his role would change, considering that we don't know if keiji saw the percentage papers normally, and if he did in this au, would megumi as well and would they both try to cling onto sara for survival's sake? BUT i'm not going to get into that, i just want to say that i think it'd be neat if keiji took up an older brother position to in group! kind of the same as the normal death game, except he has less control over what the group does and is more on the same standings as the other participants. i think he'd get closer to being a genuine protector in this scenario, fail sooner at his attempts to avoid emotional attachments to the other participants, and i also think he'd do a lot less of the creepy flirting!! because really, the only reason he did that anyway was to dodge questions, and that'd be a lot less necessary if 1) he had dependable megumi vouching for him from the beginning, therefore making him less suspicious to the others // 2) megumi's death would no longer be a topic of concern cos it didn't happen! // 3) if someone attempted to dig up info about his past or something of the sort, something that could get in the way of the group's trust of him and therefore keiji and megumi's chances of survival, megumi could likely shut it down as she has a good reputation amongst the group. besides, the only one who would say shit like that is shin, and people don't trust him very much anyways sjfjsbfnd.

i think keiji and sara would potentially have a less manipulative and more wholesome friendship in this au ahhh ;<;

as much as a manipulative dick megumi is to keiji in this au, she gets softer when his hallucinations seem to be affecting him more, or when he has nightmares. (CAN YOU TELL I'M A SUCKER FOR FLAWED BUT GENUINE MENTORSHIPS YET)

i've started to become STAUNCHLY AGAINST the notion that keiji killed megumi maliciously or that he would kill megumi maliciously!! because logically, it'd probably be more beneficial to have such a trustworthy ally in the death game (maybe not trustworthy to him, but to everyone else) and emotionally, I JUST THINK THEY'D HAVE BEEN CLOSE BEFORE OKAY AND I DON'T LIKE THE IDEA THAT HE'D KILL HER 😭😭 (that's more my emotions than his LOL, but i think it's so important that megumi's murder was an inactive murder that keiji was unsure of to the moment it happened and beyond!! you could say his angst about killing megumi during the 2nd main game is more about him killing another person, regardless of whether or not it was megumi, BUT i like to think the fact that it was megumi SPECIFICALLY was significant to him.) so that's why throughout i haven't really entertained the idea of him trying to kill her or anything like that, especially considering the theory i'm weaving this au under, which dictates keiji would likely be a lil softer + more emotional :>

CONSIDER,,, in that scenario i posed where megumi sacrifices herself for someone / keiji: while she's dying or before her death, she hugs keiji and tells him she's sorry, it wasn't his fault. no one's ever told him this before because he's refused to talk about what happened with anyone after her dismissal of it. after she says that, though, it feels as though he's let out a breath he's been holding for years and some of the weight of the shooting is finally gone.

that's all i can think to say at the moment, SO… to sum things up– a tl;dr, if you will--

(i never actually watched this show so pls don't kill me if the casting choices are weird 😭😭)

i hope this wasn't too derivative of yours or too horribly self indulgent to read LOL. this wasn't nearly as thorough as i could've been, but it might've been a bit much to consider more branching paths ajdbsns. thank you for letting me rant about keiji and megumi, i was thinking about them earlier today so it's nice to be given a chance to ramble about them again!!

#your turn to die #keiji shinogi #megumi sasahara #yttd au #yttd headcanons #sometimes i wonder how i still have so many words for these two #like damn i really wrote 2000 words on these guys like that like... damn #i just like them eeee #their relationship means so much to me #which kinda sucks because keiji is one of the most contentious characters and most ppl hate megumi AJDJSJS #im just out here w my megumi + keiji mentorship propaganda... #in my niche lil corner #anyways it makes me happy to talk about them #i should ponder on how they'd interact post-shooting in a non-death game au sometime #i should probably go write smth else now lol #WOW I REALLY OVERDID THIS HUH #the prompt: 5+ headcannons #me: ESSAY??? BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS???? MY ENTIRE HEART AND SOUL????? #no i actually had fun writing this SKDJSK #BUT IF ONLY I COULD ORGANIZE MY THOUGHTS SJFJSJ

[asagi-s-garden]

It’s time for Dumb Headcanons-

For whatever reason, Kara is the one to carry her and Lena’s first born child, she can’t just vanish for almost a year without saying anything though, I mean what kind of hero would do that?

So she makes a public announcement right after officially finding out that she’s pregnant that she’s “going away for a few months on a personal journey”

Now the thing is, Lena knows her wife, she knows her very well, and she knows that her watching from the sidelines as Alex and the others keep the city safe is going to be incredibly painfull for her, so she decides to take Kara on a vacation for the first few months of pregnancy

Once they get around the second trimester they’re going to have to go into seclusion in a special fortress that Clark and Kate built for her that’s like half Fortress Of Solitude and half Batcave that’s structured to both keep enemies out, and keep Kara in, because they know their girl as well as Lena does (Alex tunes in from skype from time to time to tell them what they’ve done wrong specifically because she knows how crafty Kara is and is just “mmm nope you see that little crack in that wall right there? Yeah she could get through that, I don’t know how, but she could”) Ofcourse freinds and family are welcome to visit because it’d just be cruel otherwise but anyway

Lena knows Kara, she knows that staying cooped up in one place for 5-6 months is going to be hell enough as it is, the full extent of her pregnancy would be a NIGHTMARE, but she also is a little afraid to stay in National City during the first 3-4 months because that would equally be disasterous on Kara’s mental health, seeing shit go down and not being able to help, so she decides to take them on vacation instead, to some of the most peacefull places on Earth, like the New Zealand countryside and a small town in Switzerland and a tiny island that she may possibly own, it seems like a solid plan to begin with, until....

Proof That Lena Luthor Is Supergirl

That’s the headline that starts popping up about four days after they leave and it’s just everywhere, conspiracy theories that Lena is Supergirl because she “vanished“ at the same time that Supergirl left

Kara thinks it’s hilarious, it’s the best laugh she’s had in a week and that’s saying something considering how much time she’s spent watching cute cat videos on the private jet

They have to cut their vacation short so Lena can go back to National City every few weeks, show her face for a few days, and then leave again

Everyone starts making it into an inside joke that they have to be very carefull not to share outside of The Circle of those in the know because otherwise something might slip, Brainy in particular thinks it’s bizarre that Kara just keeps getting more pregnant everytime she comes back and yet somehow no one has tried to pin Lena’s wife, who’s pregnant, as the superhero who has to mysteriously vanish for nine months (because against her better instincts Kara does mention at the press conference that she’ll be returning in June, wich is about nine months from when she announces her departure, somehow no one has picked up on it, until they start with the Lena theory and go “AND HER WIFE IS PREGNANT AND DUE IN JUNE, COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT-” evidently they’ve decided that Lena is leaving because Kara is pregnant, wich isn’t wrong, but still somehow off)

By the time baby Kira Zor El Luthor is born (they made the conscious decision to break from the “L” tradition in Lena’s family only to end up with the “K” tradition in Kara’s completely by accident; their second born will be named Luka and Alex is going to headdesk so hard she bruises) half of National City has started to believe that Lena is Supergirl, somehow, and she and Kara- as Supergirl- have to actually appear together in public and shake hands with people to prove neither one is a hologram before anyone lets the theory die

Other less cohesive headcanons about this insanity-

-Kara insists that she take care of Kira when she wakes up in the middle of the night because to be 100% honest sleep is a luxury, not a necessity, for her- that’s not even being careless with herself, that’s just.... a legitimate fact... she doesn’t really HAVE to sleep very much as long as she’s under the yellow sun so why on earth should she deprive Lena of it???

Lena: Really, it’s ok, I’ve had a lifetime of being denied sleep so at this point I can actually function with out it :)

Kara: That.... that in absolutely no way makes me feel better...... also I have super hearing so I’ll hear her first anyway, there’s no need to wait for you to wake up..

Lena: Oh no that’s fine, I’m hypervigilant and paranoid so I’ll wake up as soon as she starts crying, no superpowers required! :)

Kara: That just makes me feel even worse?????? B-Besides I have a Kryptonian lullaby I can sing to her that works like a charm

Lena: Oh that’s so lovely, I have an old Irish lullaby my mother taught me right before she died that I can’t wait to sing to Kira as the literal only good thing that comes from my family legacy :)

Kara, near tears: ...Have I done something to you today????? ;_;

Lena: ...no?? why???

-The amount of food they go through during Kara’s pregnancy probably could have sustained a small country for atleast a month, it doesn’t seem to matter how much Lena thinks she’s stocking up ahead of time, it’s never enough and she inevitably always has to buy more the very next day, it takes the combined efforts of Barry and Kate to help keep things stocked so Lena isn’t having to constantly be leaving the Bat Fortress (it was the name Kate and Clark finally decided on and no one has the right to veto it no matter how much certain people want to) to restock, they start this Superhero Delivery Service as a Bros Being Bros type of thing, just freinds being freinds and loving their pregnant super freind so very much but after a week it turns into a ruthless competition of what, ultimately, is the better resource- speed or money, Barry has the Speed Force but Kate has every method of transportation imaginable and also drones and by the time Kira is born a rivalry has slowly simmered between them, the likes of wich goes right back to the type of “Who’s faster?” rivalry Barry has with the Supers, that probably won’t end even after they both die, Kara has mixed feelings about being the inadvertent catalyst for this but Nia thinks it’s the best thing that’s ever happened and she and Mary are placing bets

-Lena knows that Kryptonians don’t exactly have the same health issues to worry about that humans do but Kira is going to be atleast part human isn’t she? So Kara has to be willing to step up her health game wile she’s pregnant right??? Nice theory, no dice, Alex tried to warn her but Lena Luthor doesn’t lose and when she wants something she gets it................ unless that something is getting Kara to have a healthier diet, then there’s no force on any planet in any universe that can help

Lena: An apple

Kara: A dozen doughnuts

Lena: One apple

Kara:  ...Sixteen doughnuts

Lena: *gently places an apple on the table*

Kara: ....*stares intensely at the box of doughnuts, unblinking*

Lena: ....What are you doing?

Kara: I wonder if I try hard enough if I can develop telekinesis

Lena: No-

-True panic is Lena taking care of Kira at the office wile Kara is off doing the superheroing for the first time in months (nanny? nope, not in this house, the child never leaves our sight, we die like moms) and Kira starts giggling and levitates out of her bassinet wile Lena is on a conference call so her investors are met with a frantic Lena keeping her voice astoundingly level and clear wile running around the office chasing her floating baby, they mostly just get glimpses of her jacket from time to time and, if they ask, are only met with “I have a child now” and absolutely no other explanation

-For the first time since being on Earth Kara is faced with the cosmic joke that is Earth’s gravity during her late months of pregnancy because everything is wobbly and waddly and holy RAO HOW IS IT SO HARD JUST TO GET OFF OF THE FLOOR!?!?! SHE COULD FLY TWO MONTHS AGO AND NOW IT’S A MAJOR STRUGGLE TO PULL HERSELF OFF OF THE COUCH WHAT THE FUCK!?

-Kate has managed to live through four years of having actual freinds who have started to reproduce and never once has she reacted with more than marginally more interested than what she had during Crisis when Kara tried to hand Jon to her, but in those four years all of those freinds have been straight, to be fair, and there’s something a little different about seeing other lesbians with babies that’s mildly more tolerable, first it was Alex and Kelley, then it was Kara and Lena, Sophie and Mary keep cooing over the babies and Kate doesn’t really get that........ until she’s visiting Kara and an alien attacks and Kara is just “hold my baby-” and flies out the window and Kate is Stuck with a sleeping four-month-old and no ability to get to a phone without waking Kira up so she’s just kind of frozen like that for the foreseeable future and when Kara comes back Kate is laying on the couch, Kira sleeping on her chest, looking incredibly relaxed

Kate: Oh you’re back, we’ve had a lovely time

Kara: Awwwwwwwww, see? You are good with babies <3

Kate: Mmmm still going to have to disagree on that but your’s is... not... bad...

Kara: Sooooooo you’ll babysit sometime? :3

Kate: Nope, this last half hour was enough thanks

Kara: Wait until Sophie hears you lasted an entire half hour ;)

Kate: Just hold off telling her for about fifteen years or so, I don’t think we’re ready to live in a world where I can tolerate this for an entire thirty minutes yet

Kara: lol ok

Years later when she eventually ends up taking after her cousin and having a couple of orphans with her name on them she insists to Sophie that it’s Kara’s fault because “that time she made me hold her kid for half an hour did something to me I just know it”, Kara pops in one day after hearing this and just goes “You’re welcome~” before flying off again

And finally-

Kara: Lena honey I think Kira is a little too young to be getting her first suit tailored...

Lena: But she’s already a year old...???

#supercorp #supergirl #kara danvers #kara zor el #lena luthor #kate kane #barry allen #clark kent #ficlet #headcanon #not!fic

[justalittlemango]

Hmmm

So uh... I haven't posted on this Tumblr for a while. A few months by the looks of it? That last post was the beginning of this year. And now it's 20th August 2021.

So what happened? Also ugh the formatting on this site. Welp, my last post seemed to be a lot about my now-ex. I'll call him Tit as I think that's an appropriate name. So yeah, he did come back sometime after I wrote that post. He came back. He seemed to have been feeling better. It was nice to see him happy and things pretty much went back to how they were before, even better if anything. Sadly that was only temporary! Well, I say sadly. Sad at the time. I don't care these days.

Something happened, he lost it over me doing literally nothing. I knew he had problems with my mental health but I don't like to be accused of all sorts when all I try to do is help. I knew at that time, that was the calling point. Cutting off ties. Because my health both mentally and physically could not deal with everything he was putting me through. I cut him off. It felt sad but I knew I had to do it. And fast forward six months later, there's been no contact between us. Thank god.

So.. that was always fun.. I lost my friends who I had met through Tit. I knew that was coming as well. I can still be mad over that, but at the end of the day, who's side are they going to stick by? Mine (someone they've only known for a few months) or his (someone they adore and known for years even.) I guess the outcome here was kind of obvious. I wish I could say I didn't care it happened, but it did hurt me. When I was already going through so much hurt just seeing that was not nice. Thankfully I was never confronted before it happened, I was just swiftly deleted/unfriended/removed and that's that.

That was the second time in a 7/8 month span that I lost friends because of these love problems. So all in all? I'm pretty fucking tired of that happening lol. Anyway, these people are irrelevant now and no longer play a part in my life. So I just need to forget about them.

So did things get any better? Yes! I met someone new. My Dommy. I joined this server in attempt to make some friends and play games with (since the friends I once did that with departed..) so I thought I'd shoot my shot there. It started off okay, I was making friends and it was fun. I met Dommy in there. There was something that caught my eye about him when I would see him chatting and stuff. We spoke to each other through DMs for a bit and played games together. It was so much fun. And the more I got to know about him the more I was like ... My god ... Because I knew I was going to catch feelings for him. Everything he was telling me about himself just made the feelings grow more and more. Like he just kept ticking my boxes in what I seek in a partner.

At first I didn't wanna catch feelings, mostly due to the fact he's 18, and I was 23 (now I'm 24 so yay). I felt the age gap would've been too weird and I wouldn't usually consider anyone that's under 21 to be a potential partner. But god it was so hard to think like that when the more I learnt about him, the more these feelings kept growing. He just knew exactly what to say. His personality and everything. He's so fun and kind. So wholesome. Positive. I find him so relatable too. I definitely didn't expect this for someone who is quite frankly, fresh into adulthood. But here we are!

Heh, let's just say I tried to dim my feelings down. And it definitely didn't work. And I remember thinking at first like, oh god he wouldn't want feelings for me I'm like 5 years older than him LOLLL. But boy was I wrong! About a month after chatting and playing games together (quite frequently too) - he told me he had a crush on me. And I remember how great that felt. It felt so... fucking... amazing. To read everything he said to me. I really didn't think he'd feel that way.. I had my suspicions on somethings but they were more just me being overly hopeful. And of course, I had to tell him I crushed him back. I had the same feelings. And ever since then it just continually grows.

26th May we decided to become long distance boyfriends. We both felt ready for it. Every day and night I got to spend with him on voice chat was SO enjoyable. It was so much fun. The love kept continuing to grow and grow. The more he told me about himself, the more he truly sounded like my perfect man. My soul mate even! And he felt the same way about it all. And now we're so clingy and romantic for each other all the time and I LOVE IT!!

Fast forward to August. We still here. We hope to meet up soon. We surround ourselves with such positive romantic energy. Inspiring each other to be our best selves. Heck, we both got jobs just so we can buy stuff for each other and visit frequently. And that's where we're at. We're awaiting the day for when we meet.

I'm so grateful for him. He changed my life around. I hit rock bottom and he full on dragged me out. Showed me that I can still love. Supported me through everything. Even with everything that happened after my ex. He was there. And still today, with everything I went through.. he had my back.

I love him so much. With everything I have. To the end of days. I've never met ANYONE like him. My past relationships don't even come close to what he and I have. And the crazy thing? He feels the same.. this is just magical. See, it would be TOO good if we were living in the same country. But alas, I am UK, he is US.. a few thousand miles away. But you know what? I'm making it my goal that we'll live together. We talk about having a family, living together, going on so many dates and just doing everything together.

It's my goal. Ultimate. Life goal. I don't want to die without being able to hold him in my arms. And very soon I hope, I will be able to hold him, watch him fall asleep in my arms and whisper "I love you" right in his ear. I 100% trust him. I've never been able to fully trust anyone in my life before. Not my previous partners or anything. But my Dommy? I trust him with my life.

But are there any issues?

Nope. Not really. Sometimes I still feel a lil weird about the age gap. I'll be meeting my boyfriend who's 18, as a 24 year old.. doing lovey things lol. Sometimes I worry about what others think about that, mostly his family. My family know about it and they think it's fine, as with my friends. I hope his family are the same! I mean, it's only 5 year difference. It's not that much at all. I just overthink it and it's a ridiculous thing to overthink! Because he is my soulmate. If anybody has a problem with it, then they'll have to deal with it. Cause I ain't going anywhere. And neither is he 😏 actually I think he'd get more sassy at them than I would!

But yeah. Uh. Anything else? Not really. He's a busy lad but I love that for him. He does so much for his family. He can do so much. Working, driving, going to college.. I'm so proud of him! And I think from what I know from his childhood, he deserves to have all these nice times with his family. So no, there are no issues between us. We have never even argued yet! And I couldn't imagine arguing with him.

So I hope next time I write here.. I'd have met him in person. And experience that. It would be the best day of my life.

____

Anyway! How am I? I'm fine right now. I'm struggling a bit because I have no money left. Kinda annoyed I spent my travel moneys on myself (because I had to.) I hope that issue will be sorted next month when I get my student loan, and hopefully this job that I interviewed for yesterday! Interview lasted over an hour and I'm only competing against one other person. So.. if I get that.. the money gonna be sweet. And you already know I'll be investing in travelling to see my Dommy!

But I also want to try to do my driving lessons. Get my own groceries again and my weight gain stuff because my body is far too skinny! I want to try and get a gym membership too while I'm at it. I say all this, but where the heck am I gonna find the time to do all this? Especially as a full time student! But I think we got this. Driving lessons aren't urgent, and even so they wouldn't take long if I do lessons in an auto. Since I've driven before. So maybe I'll only need 10 lessons.

I want to go the gym and build my body a little bit. Look a bit more in shape for when I see my boy hehehe.

So yeah, lack of money is my main issue here. I can't afford to go out and get my own food and supplements. So until I get my moneys, my mood is going to be patchy. It'll be worth the wait though if things go all out to plan.

Anything else on my mind? Well.. being back here in B'ham! I don't particularly feel safe here. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy to be back with my parents. And not have to pay rent on a student house.. but that does come with some negatives... Quite a few negatives. These being.. lack of privacy, not being able to make a lot of noise late at night, not feeling safe in the city, issues with bathroom/showers, and the god forsaken slow internet.

Positives though? Being with my parents, in the big city where everything is, good stores and nightlife. Few friends are here. Though not too many I'm interested in seeing. Lol. I guess I'm in the middle of everything too so if I wanted to travel out of city to see someone , I have the option to do so.

So.. yeah! A lot more good than bad going on right now and thank god. Because how this year started was awful. It was literally the hardest time of my life to get through it. And everything that happened in the summer, I'm so grateful for. And my Dommy. I'm so happy he came into my life. I feel honoured and blessed to be in a relationship with him.

I hope things go to plan. I'm in my last year of university, and will be graduating next year. So that should be exciting! And then I have plans to study at BCU next year to do a master degree in UX! Which is exactly the kind of thing I want to get into! So that's a good two years of a steady income from student finance, and hopefully this part time job! So fingers crossed these plans will work out.

Those are my goals that I see in the distance. Travel to see my boyfriend, graduate and get onto that post-grad course! My short term goals. Oh and also get a part time job. Lol. My long term goals is to honestly.. immigrate to the US. I know it sounds wild. But it's what I want. I need to be with my boyfriend. Start a life with him. And spend the rest of my life with my Dommy. I don't know when I'd ever be able to live with him.. but let's just say you need to have a strong background to be accepted as a US citizen. But with the plans I got...it should work! Having a master's degree and hopefully someone will hire a UX designer from the US and sponsor me! With some luck.

How long do I think that would take? Probably sometime within the next 5 years.. I hope. If I'm lucky! And interesting to think, in 5 years I'm 28, and my boyfriend will be 23! Which I think is the perfect time in both our lives to find a place together to live and be happy.

I feel with that, being away from my parents via long distance is going to be VERY difficult. But I'd try my best to visit them for a month or so. And of course, I still want to support them even if I am living abroad.

Ok. Here is the end of the post. I hope I don't look back at this in a few months and laugh. I know not all of this will work out, but I hope most of it will! So yeah, here's to the future! To good health, happyness, and my boyfriend of course ;)

-mangiiii

[wickianaa]

i’m finally gonna do it and today we’re talking fighting styles for john. these movies are Obviously known for the amazing action and the amount of work keanu put into being able to do a lot of the action, so i’m gonna talk about as many fighting styles that can be identified and even why john uses them and for what. for visual examples of these, feel free to head to this post as well.

*DISCLAIMER : i am not and do not claim to be an expert in any of these fighting styles, nor have i practiced any of them personally. i’ve simply done my research, watched a lot of training videos and studied moves, as well as the bonus features of the wick films which often talk about the fighting styles in these movies.

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu : we’re going to start with this since this is one of the fighting styles that is most utilized since it’s one of the primary styles keanu was trained in for these movies. this is obviously the brazilian variant of the japanese martial art jujutsu / jiu-jitsu (we know keanu was trained specifically in BJJ because he was taught by the machado brothers, who are a family of BJJ practitioners). the biggest foundation of BJJ is the concept that a smaller and/or weaker fighter can defend themselves from and defeat someone who is bigger, stronger, or heavier. this is kind of the case for john. he is on the taller side, at 6′1″, but he’s not incredibly big, honestly. he has a decent amount of defined muscle, but it’s not crazy to say that most of the guys we see him fight are bigger, stronger, and heavier than he is. which is why BJJ works so well for him. as we see, this fighting style primarily works through gaining leverage in a fight and taking the fight itself to the ground through grappling, where the fighter can execute joint locks and choke-holds on their opponent. taking the fight to the ground and properly executing BJJ techniques can and will allow a smaller fighter to defeat bigger or stronger opponents. 

Judo : there are many similarities to BJJ as these fighting styles are both grappling focused, but judo has a few extra techniques that set it apart from BJJ. these are their throwing techniques and striking techniques, with the grappling techniques it partially shares with BJJ. we see john throw a lot of his opponents, whether over his shoulder or with his hip (standing technique), or occasionally even drop himself to the ground in order to pull his opponent down (sacrifice technique). these are all primarily judo-based and they’re pretty popular when it comes to grappling-style fighting in hollywood movies. the striking techniques share a lot with other martial arts and we see a good amount of that in the opening sequence of chapter 2 since he opts not to use his gun during that time (up until he shoots that one guy in the knees). the grappling techniques are, as i said, very similar to BJJ, in that they are: holding and pinning, strangulation, and joint locks.

Sambo : this is a russian martial art that takes many of its techniques from a lot of eastern martial arts, including jiu-jitsu and judo (the founders of sambo studied judo in japan). sambo is actually the fighting style that we see the boys in the tarkovsky theater practicing in chapter 3, so, considering what we know about john, he would have been taught and be proficient in sambo. this is also the fighting style that viggo utilizes in his fight with john at the end of the first film and john matches him with sambo techniques, possibly just to make the fight fair lol. sambo’s focus is a little more wide since it’s inspired by and modeled after many different types of martial arts, but still very much grappling-based. in sport sambo, it very much resembles catch wrestling, but combat sambo was made specifically for the military so it uses striking and grappling, also allowing punches, kicks, elbows, knees, laid kicks, headbutts, and groin strikes.

Aikido : yet another grappling martial art, aikido has some similarities to judo and BJJ. chad stahelski confirmed that some aikido techniques were incorporated into keanu’s training and ultimately john’s fighting style, specifically in chapter 2. this japanese martial art uses throwing techniques and joint manipulations to injure and subdue. in aikido specifically, it’s a matter of redirecting an opponent’s attack momentum to throw them off. we see john execute a couple of aikido-style throws in the rome sequence of chapter 2.

Hapkido : following somewhat of a pattern, this is one more combat style that deals with ground fighting, although not as much grappling as judo and BJJ. hapkido and aikido share the same japanese origins and some similar techniques but they have become distinct and different with time (aikido is meant to be purely defensive while hapkido is usually considered more offensive and more violent). hapkido is a korean martial art that’s a form of self-defense and deals with strikes, joint-locks, and throws. furthermore, hapkido has a large emphasis in all of this while using techniques with weapons, like knives, swords, staffs, and rope/belt (which is the techniques john uses). these rope techniques are designed to block incoming attacks and then trap the attacker’s limb and use that leverage against them in some way, usually through throwing them, knocking them down, or disarming them. specifically, we see john use pho bak (rope) hapkido techniques in the hotel fight with ms. perkins when john uses his sling as a defensive weapon ; and in the glass house when john removes his belt and uses that as a weapon. as a note : hapkido has not been confirmed in any way as being a fighting style of john’s ; i just simply did a ton of research into martial arts that use these kinds of techniques and hapkido was the one i stumbled upon. and with the confirmed inclusion of aikido, it doesn’t feel too insane that hapkido might have been a thought-point as well by fight coordinators and trainers.

Boxing : i do want to state that the filmmakers specifically chose not to make john’s fighting style boxing because boxing is notoriously hard to fake on film. it’s way harder to fake a punch to the face than it is to throw a stunt guy to the ground, without an edit. which is why they decided to shake things up. but like i said with BJJ, a lot of his opponents are bigger than him, so boxing as a primary fighting style wouldn’t work well for john anyway. but he still knows how to throw a solid punch. there are a couple of solo punches (one in the bath house at the red circle and one in the fight with ms. perkins) and then a few more in john’s fight with viggo, but boxing techniques aren’t things john often uses, except simple boxing blocking which is the motion of raising the arms towards the head and ears to block incoming attacks. western boxing and muay thai blocks are incredibly similar to each other, but i am inclined to list boxing here rather than muay thai (which is another style of boxing), because, based on my non-expert opinion and observations, john doesn’t show much muay thai technique at all. that’s not to say he doesn’t know some muay thai, he just isn’t proficient enough in it for it to be considered a combat style for him.

Shinobi-Iri : this is stealth and infiltration techniques, plain and simple. we see it a little bit at the start of chapter 2, when he very quietly enters the warehouse where his car is being kept. he sneaks up on a number of guards and incapacitates them. we see this even more in chapter 3 in the glass house sequence with his ability to hide from zero and even disappear at a moment’s notice. we also see it once in grand central station in chapter 3 when he disappears right before zero’s eyes.

Close Quarters Combat : it’s not an uncommon idea that john has military history. it’s a headcanon of many, many fans and, when he was making the first movie, keanu himself thought of john as having a military background. that is something i also attribute to my portrayal of john, specifically with him being a marine. so john having been a marine for some time, he would absolutely be knowledgeable of and have proficiency in close quarters combat. CQC is all about tactical organization in confined spaces with a small unit of people, usually engaging with opponents hand-to-hand and with short-range firearms. we see john do a lot of this, although in a solo scenario. this is what the red circle sequence is, the shootout in rome as well, and the hall of mirrors in chapter 2. it’s all john in close quarters with his attackers, with short-range weapons (ranging from sidearms, to shotguns, to the occasional assault rifle). 

Gun-Fu : yes, last but not least, i’m throwing gun-fu in here. obviously it’s not a real martial art, but it’s pretty relevant for john and how he fights. a lot of the fighting styles listed above don’t incorporate many weapons, and especially not large weapons or firearms. they are body-based. many of them have to do with ultimately knocking the opponent out. what gun-fu is for john and in these movies is the substitution of a gun in place of the completion of many holds and locks to knock an opponent out. there are many times where john executes techniques that would leave him able to knock his opponent out but instead shoots them in the head to finish them off.

that’s about all i have, frankly. i really love the fighting styles and choreography that they’ve managed to pull off in these movies. it’s all so exciting and gorgeous and impressive what the actors and the amazing stuntmen and women are able to pull off.

#long post / #meta. #skillset. #this was fun

[orionsangel86]

12x09 - Episode Review - Too Much Heart Always Was His Problem.

Can I just say that as a staunch Cas girl this episode made me so happy. (I’m not a masochist promise) If you watched this episode thinking that Cas was getting a raw deal or that he was struggling or in pain then YES you are right! He was! But this is his story arc at play and in the first episode back of the second half of this season the showrunner decided that he would take front and centre stage. If you don’t believe me re-watch the episode, Castiel was its emotional centre.

I love Andrew Dabb for this reason. We have at least two Cas-centric episodes coming up and this was not supposed to be one of them, but of course how could he resist not focusing on his fave?

I will explain and get onto my review in a moment but I just wanted to emphasise this (and maybe also rub it in a bit in my own smug way against the Cas haters lol).

Anyway. Review under the cut...

Castiel (aka My Beautiful Angel of Humanity, Angel of Tears, Angel of my broken fucking heart and fictional love of my life)

Now as far as a standalone episode goes, the first 20 minutes bored me honestly, the last 20 minutes were awesome. It was rather unbalanced, with the only moments in the first half that really got me interested were Cas’s moments. I guess I’m just not a fan of government related stories or seeing the Winchesters stuck in one place not saying anything. But I enjoyed it overall. If it wasn’t for Misha basically owning that episode I wouldn’t have liked it because the escaped fugitive with the soldiers chasing after you thing just doesn’t do it for me, but Castiel getting a heavy emotional arc? Oh yeah. That does it. That hits the sweet spot.

This is an episode where Sam and Dean spend the majority of their screen time in cold defiant silence, before playing up their serial killer vibe as fugitives in their escape plan. Where Mary Winchester spends most of the episode seemingly going through the motions (anyone see major similarities with Buffy in season 6 *cue the singing*) and not exactly expressing herself in the best of ways, and where the remaining lead characters are the secret service men; one of whom only cares about getting info and the other who “wants them punished… wants to look Dean Winchester in the eye and wants him to feel it” and the British Men of Letters who, lets be honest, are a prime example of highly functioning sociopaths (to quote Sherlock) in smart suits with British accents. Castiel stands out because where every other characters primary motivations seems to be to help themselves (whether it be an escape plan, an ambition, a goal or just a distraction technique) Castiel spends his time only thinking of others. His selflessness and feelings of worthlessness have come right back to the front line and his struggle is evident throughout. It breaks my heart to watch him blame himself time and time again for things that were primarily out of his control. Of course this all escalates until Cas makes a decision that whilst still in line with his lack of self care, is very selfish in a way.

The episode was written this way purposely (as I will never believe that Dabb writes Cas moments without a very clear intent behind them). He has been framed as the heart of this episode, he wears his heart on his sleeve and it builds to the final moments where Cas ways up his choices and takes action against Billie. Once again, in true Dabb fashion, we are shown Castiel being brought down again and again (though this time by internal forces rather than the external forces of 11x10) until he makes a very rash decision based on the same principal as always with Castiel. To save a Winchester. What will the repercussions of this be? Billie said there could be consequences on a cosmic scale. I guess we will have to wait and see.

The initial argument with Mary, the conversation with Crowley, the failed vampire hunt, the phone call with Dean, asking for the help of the BMOL, the long drawn on moment where he watches the Winchesters reunite with emotion heavy on his face, finding out that they had dealt with their lives once again. All of these moments escalated in Cas’s mind to the point where he became fed up. He wasn’t going to lose the people he loves. His speech at the end had me in tears:

“You know this world? This sad, doomed little world. It needs you. It needs every last Winchester it can get, and I won't let you die. I won't let any of you die. And I won't let you sacrifice yourselves, you mean too much to me. To everything. Yeah, you made a deal. A stupid deal, and I broke it. You're welcome.”

Oh Cas. In his own mind, this is his motivation in a nutshell. Once upon a time Cas may have been motivated by a desire to do good for the world. To ultimately be a force for good for all humanity but he hasn’t been that in a long time. His motivations have closed in and become very personal. His motivations are preserving the lives of the Winchesters. It is the only part of him that is remotely selfish, and it is entirely rooted in love.

I just hope that this story arc for him develops to the point where he begins to see his own worth, because whilst the world may need the Winchesters, the Winchesters need him. Therefore the world needs him too.

It just occurred to me that in writing this I failed to bring up this moment:

Which was lovingly giffed for me by the awesome @godshipsit (here) and in which Misha kills me with his acting skills because LOOK at the emotion on his face. He has got them back, he sees the boys embrace their mother, and he looks on with this look of... what would you say this look is? Because it certainly doesn’t look like a guy who is just happy to have his friends back. No. That looks like a guy who is witnessing something that he longs for himself. That he feels he is separated from. 

I swear to God if this season doesn’t at least end with a shot of the Winchesters all hugging and then Dean reaching an arm out and pulling Cas into that group hug I’m gonna be pissed. We need that now. After this look we definitely need it.

Mary Winchester

I said above that Mary is going through the motions, she is still struggling to fit in and even though she showed her desire to keep living at her last encounter with Billie, it is easy to tell that Mary is at a weak point at the moment. Like how Castiel is prone to make bad choices motivated by love, Mary is the same, and her offering up her own life was no different. It’s no wonder that Cas and Mary have been mirroring each other this season. They both put the brother’s lives in front of their own without much thought. I honestly thought for a while there at the end that she was gonna be killed off and I was prematurely so very angry at Dabb for that, but then I was rightly angry at Dabb for another reason anyway.

Her decision to work with the British Men of Letters will bite her in the ass of course, and for some reason the filming of it and the reveal that Mick was talking to Mary heavily reminded me of Sam’s conversation with Rowena at the end of 10x18. No good will come of this for any of them.

Sam and Dean

So I have admitted that the first 20 minutes of Winchester silent defiance bored me. Though I can appreciate the affect and filming style. If you wanna break a Winchester don’t torture them, put them in a small room and leave them there with nothing but their own thoughts for company. It will drive them crazy and they will do something drastic and stupid. I enjoyed the cabin scene and loved Sam’s “You’ll live” with the first aid box as well as his “we’re the guys who save the world”. Dean’s speech to Rick over the radio was scary. Dean definitely had his psychopath mask on “We’re not trapped out here with you, you’re trapped out here with us.” But ultimately, this all comes down to another stupid decision where a Winchester sacrifices himself to save the other. They didn’t specify which Winchester was gonna go, but lets be honest here, it was totally gonna be Dean. Dean would never let Sam give up his life for him. So Dean broke first and called Billie and offered his life to save his brother basically. Dabb is once again exploring this trend of Winchester co-dependency at its most toxic and portrays it once again as a negative thing (have I mentioned yet how much I love Dabb?) to the point where Cas calls them out on it. (I really loved Cas’ speech). Alas! I hear you cry! Will they ever learn? Well. Hopefully Dabb has a plan that includes the breakdown of the toxic co-dependency once and for all, as he continues to use it in his storylines as a bad thing and in no way romanticises it like it was in the early seasons. If this ties in with Castiel’s upcoming plot lines, this could get interesting.

I have to at least comment on the very few moments we got this episode where Dean seemed to show a hint of emotion underneath his cold exterior, because every moment (up until Mary offered herself up at least) was about Cas. The first being after the call with Cas when Sam asked “Are you gonna tell him?” to which he just answered “No”. This moment is telling because of what isn’t said. We don’t know at this point what Dean has done (because it is implied early on that it is indeed Dean who did this and instigated this escape) and the flat refusal to tell Cas isn’t because he doesn’t care about Cas at all, it’s the complete opposite, and this is evidenced later in the car scene. Dean’s refusal to tell Cas at that point how he escaped and cut him off quickly like he did was because it was too painful to even consider telling Cas that he was once again facing death. The second moment being when he first sees Cas in the woods before Sam hugs him, his face is of sheer relief and joy and yeah, when Cas goes in for the hug he smiles briefly but his attention is quickly focussed on Mary, which could be read negatively, and perhaps I am disappointed that we didn’t get more from that reunion (though we are being spoiled with Destiel hugs lately) but the kicker is when they are in the car. Once the car stutters to a halt and everyone looks around in confusion, Dean just turns and looks at Cas. We don’t see his face from the camera angle but my god that look is worth everything. Dean knows whats about to happen to him, he knows whats coming. That fleeting moment is Dean’s regret. Here:

Its everything unspoken between them. Its 6 months of complete isolation followed by only moments of reunion before this. It’s the pain and angst and heartbreak of Destiel summed up in 3 seconds of screen time. Its beautiful.

Other things

So the BMOL are interesting characters who you certainly wouldn’t trust with your life now. I do have some gripes about them though, and that is simply that I don’t get how this story started with a badass British woman taking down Sam Winchester and became two very generic looking white guys? Whats up with that? Why did they completely destroy Lady Toni’s character only to have her role be taken over by these two? Don’t get me wrong I am very intrigued by Mick and Ketch, but I miss Lady Toni (and by that I mean the Lady Toni from 11x23 and the summers fanfiction and NOT the Lady Toni from 12x01 and 12x02) Its irritating because surely Mick’s role could have just been her role?? But that’s my main issue. The other one is minor and more just a way of nursing any national pride I may have left after Brexit in that honestly we do not have two default settings of “extremely posh” and “Jason Statham style cockney” and we are not all evil sociopaths. I take a slight insult at the big bad this season being British People. Sorry America, but in the real world you guys are the ones with an evil villain running your country. We’re just going through a nasty divorce with Europe.

Crowley’s minor role was great. I enjoy his snark most of the time anyway but this line had me in stitches: “Sam and Dean, they're like herpes. Just when you think they're gone 'Hello' the boys are back leaving a trail of bodies in their wake. So wherever they are, whoever has Sam and Dean. In the immortal words of Lawrence Tureaud, 'I pity the fool.” Classic. I loved it.

I should at least thank Dabb for bringing Alesha back for a minor part. I’m glad her and her gorgeous brother are still living and doing their thing and really hope they make an appearance again.

I’m really upset about Billie’s death. She was an awesome character and I loved her take-no-bullshit attitude against the Winchester’s. I don’t think she deserved to die that way and I’m sad that Cas did it. Cas makes terrible choices when a Winchesters life is threatened. It’s sad but true. I hope that the only reason they killed her off was because of Lisa Berry’s commitments to Shadow Hunters rather than any desire to start killing off an awesome WOC character for the hell of it. This show needs more diversity. Another reason why I am clinging to the beautiful hunting twins.

My one other gripe was the lack of prayer. Where the hell were the prayers to Cas? Can he not hear prayers now? Or did the Winchesters once again suffer a major case of stupidity and forgetfulness in that they have an actual angel on their side who canonically hears prayers? What’s the deal? Someone ask Andrew Dabb to explain this because its gonna bother me as much as all his car stuff.

Aside from the minor gripes and death of Billie, it was a good episode (second half more than first) and Cas was amazing. As I’ve already said he was the heart of the episode and I need more like that where Cas’ emotions are a focal point. That speech… I just… in my watching notes I just typed “ahkgnrjagbrjhjrbrguragivbhf” as it seemed an accurate response for what I felt. We need more like that! Dammit Dabb don’t let us down!

Now I just need to get on and finish my actual Cas meta before the Cas episodes air as I still have so much to say about him and what I think Dabb is planning, but I’ll leave this here.

#supernatural #castiel #destiel #dean winchester #spn meta #episode review #spn spoilers #12x09 #season 12 #first blood #sam winchester #mary winchester #british men of letters #crowley #my meta #my thoughts #andrew dabb #destiel dreaming #breaking the toxic codependency #this got super long #and took me all night to write #but its done