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becomingbts · 3 years

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Time heals (sometimes) - 1

Summary: 6 years ago, (Y/N) thought that she was finally taking her life into her hands, leaving behind a toxic and abusive relationship with a man who taught her she’d never be worthy of love. However, it became hard to ignore his words when she met her seven soulmates who rejected her without even giving her a chance to prove herself. It took (Y/N) 3 years to realize that it wouldn’t be her end. She would live on to prove them all wrong; she would become what they all thought she wasn’t: someone worthy of love. And as she stands proudly on the stage, under the burning spotlights and the applause and the cries of the delirious crowd, she feels alive. Alive, just like the bond she believed to be broken.

Pairings: Y/N x OT7

GENRE: Soulmate AU!, Idol Y/NAU!, semi social-media AU!, ANGST (mainly), fluff, romance, maybe smut in the series.

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Warnings: The series is going to be heavy with a lot of personal experiences mixed into the fiction, so this is going to be kind of therapeutic for me. Please, consider not reading the series if you are not comfortable with: abandonment issues, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, self-harm (not descriptive and only part of MC’s past), suicide thoughts (in the past), toxic behavior, toxic and abusive relationship (in the past), depreciating self-talk and low self-esteem, a lot of curse, physical and mental pain, near death experience situation (in the past), and maybe smut scenes (happy ending though, but it will probably be quite the ride).

NOTE: So hello everyone, welcome to Time Heals (sometimes). Thank you so, so much for the warm welcoming, it has been my first time getting so many asks, I was honestly overjoyed. I still don’t really know what to call this part; is it a teaser? A note? A full chapter? I believe we’ll get some snapshot of memories like this one throughout the series because there is going to be a lot to unpack on both sides. I think it will be a chapter nevertheless because I have to establish some kind of order as to which parts should be read first, and I think this one is extremely important.

Thank you for reading,

-Dolly

Profiles #2 - here - part 2

Her scream pierced through the air while cries broke in the frenzied arena while a single blond-haired man froze, emptily staring at the stage. It felt like his senses heightened; his skin was shuddering, his eyes were frantically searching for one specific figure while his voice was lost in his throat. The screams resonating in the stadium would have been too loud for his voice to be heard anyway.

Jimin knew he shouldn’t be there.

Namjoon had told them more than once that none of them should try to go to one of (Y/N)’s events. It could be dangerous and they could be overwhelmed; anything could happen to them and they would still remain a nobody who fainted in the howling crowd. Would they want to take this risk? No.

So, Jimin would have had to admit that going to her very first concert in Seoul since the pandemic sounded like a very, very, very bad idea. And to be honest, it still didn’t seem to be a bright idea now that he was actually there.

But he still went because he needed to see her for himself; to see how she was. He had so many things he dreamed about asking her. Are you okay? Are you sleeping well? Did you eat before coming to the arena? Are you nervous? Do you... remember me?

Maybe he was torturing himself. He kept on watching her lives, following her on all social media, always made sure to leave a sweet comment, and never miss any of her new updates... Maybe he even had a folder of pictures of her on his phone but he’d never admit it to any of his mates. Taehyung would probably take his phone away from him and delete everything and Jimin couldn’t let that happen.

He felt like it was cheating. Don’t take him wrong though. When he thought that, he was not really thinking about the boys. They did collectively agree not to follow her activities as an artist but it was getting harder and harder with how popular she got anyway. Moon was everywhere. In commercials, on the radio, her songs were on the TV… Even if she was known for refusing most of the promotional contracts that were offered to her, her image was still constantly in the media despite her avoidance of it. Ironic, but the media were trying their best to find anything about her, be it positive or negative. One day she was seen on her bike, the next, she was in a coffee shop, and it kept on going on, overstepping on her privacy as if it was just a meaningless word.

The lockdown had admittedly played a major part in Jimin’s obsession. Being in their apartment meant quickly running out of activities, and his job as a dance teacher was not really filling his free time (a lot of his classes were also canceled). It was also during that time that (Y/N) truly blew up as an independent artist. Advertisement on YouTube started being around her channel and her music, the recommendations he kept on seeing were about also her… Jimin’s resolve honestly broke easily. It was hard not to be curious about his lost soulmate even though he didn’t feel like he had the right to be hurting.

Anyway, to come back to his main point, if Jimin felt like he was cheating; it was mostly for her. After all, (Y/N) had no means of letting the curiosity get the best of her, to know what they were doing; to simply see or contact them. He had, at first, not really thought about that. Watching her content seemed a very innocent thing to do in his opinion; billions of people were watching her content, why should he prevent himself from doing so? Yet, Jimin could still remember one of her live she did soon after that interview she had given on this damned radio show where she had revealed who her title track ‘TIME’ was about… She had gone live the next day-Jimin had jumped on his phone because of the notification-and one fan had asked her what would she do if she knew that her ‘ex-soulmates’ (and those words left a very sour taste in Jimin’s mind) were watching her. The question had silenced a previously restless Jimin, replacing his initial excitation with dread while a lump formed itself in his throat. He had not even noticed it; he was so focused on her live and her upcoming answer that Jimin had completely missed the sound of a glass breaking in the apartment. Jimin had been home alone, so even if had indeed heard it, he probably wouldn’t have bothered to check what had happened, thinking that the wind knocked it over or something. Jimin had been so absorbed by what he had been watching that he even got surprised a few hours later when Seokjin came home and yelled at him for breaking something when he had been clearly innocent, engrossed in (Y/N)’s live (not that he could tell his soulmates about that part, but yeah). (Y/N)’s live would always be more important than some random glass breaking again in their apartment. Every object was doomed with Namjoon living here anyway.

On her side of the screen though, (Y/N) had seemed taken aback as she had read the question and had gritted her teeth gently. She had seemed to be pondering about her answer even though a lot of people in her chat were telling her to forget about the question if it made her uncomfortable (a lot were even scolding the person who asked). Yet, sighing softly, she had looked up at the screen:

“I’d appreciate it if you could refrain from asking questions on this topic. It’s not taboo but I’d rather not remember everything that comes with it. However, to answer this-hopefully-last question about it, I’d ask them to turn off my stream and to stop watching any of my content. It would only be fair after all. I’ve been denied access to their lives six years ago, why would they get a free pass into mine now?” She had not smiled nor had she seemed hurt by her own comment, yet Jimin’s heart had shattered in pieces, unable to press the cancel button.

Her voice had slowly faded into background noise while her words had been stuck in his head.

I’d ask them to turn off my stream and to stop watching any of my content.

How could Jimin ever do that? He realized that he truly should. Namjoon would even agree with you, as ironic as it sounded for Jimin. Namjoon had been one of the most adamant ones about rejecting your bond, after all. Jimin was shaking with bitterness while ‘Moon’ continued her stream peacefully with music. Jimin could only try to gulp his anger down as he remembered her crumbling features on that fateful day.

“You’re not our soulmates. This name on our arms means nothing to us. You are nothing to us if not a hindrance. Leave us alone.”

If Jimin could go back in time, he’d prevent Taehyung from spatting those words at her. Yet, he couldn’t do anything. Playing the scene over and over in his mind wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t change that she probably hated them. It wouldn’t change the song she made about them.

And worst of all, it wouldn’t change the fact that Jimin had let himself believe that their choice had been for the best, trying to console and reassure himself, even if he had already known that it was wrong. Tears were pooling up in his eyes even if none escaped as he finally caught a glimpse of her on the stage. Suddenly brought back to reality after his subconscious memory trip, Jimin finally connected back to the world, looking around while he was still frozen on his spot. People were still screaming around him and he wondered if he looked like an intruder. Because, after all, wasn’t that what he exactly was? She said it herself that she didn’t wish for them to watch her; so what was he doing here?

Jimin couldn’t help but stare; she looked ethereal, dressed like a queen in the middle of a sold-out arena. People were screaming her name as she yelled her infamous ‘hi people’. It was an opening sentence that Jimin heard way too many times in her vlogs and suddenly hearing it in real life seemed surreal.

Jimin could only watch in awe, entranced with her everything.

Screw the boys and what they would think once he’d be back from her concert.

He had been the one to find her six years ago anyway. He had been the one to bring her to their home six years ago, hoping for the boys to change their mind once they’d meet her.

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Uploaded : 09/04/2021

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ljf613 · 3 years

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Why Azula Doesn’t Need a “Redemption”

I recently read this fabulous meta by @deliciousmeta about some of the issues with saying that Azula needs a “redemption,” and I completely agree and wanted to expound on it.

The term redemption arc is so ubiquitous in fandom, especially when talking about Azula, and I hate it, but I can’t get away from it. If I want people to recognize that what I write is in any way about understanding or humanizing Azula, let alone about working on her healing or actively trying to do better, I have to tag it with “Azula Redemption,” or people won’t know what I’m talking about.

So let’s talk a little more about the concept of “redemption” within the Avatar world.

The show does use the term redemption, particularly with Zuko and the Fire Nation, but it’s not talking about some arbitrary concept of “good person” vs “bad person.” No, words like “redemption” and “restoration” are specifically used regarding one thing: honor.

Before we go any further, let’s define our terms:

[ID: Dictionary definition of the word “Redemption”: Noun 1. the action of saving or being saved from sin, error, or evil. 2. the action of regaining or gaining possession of something in exchange for payment, or clearing a debt. End ID]

Redemption has two separate meanings. The first is about being saved from sin/evil, and @deliciousmeta already went into many of the issues with this, but I’ll add one more point: it’s passive. There’s a person being saved, and another person doing the saving-- and the show itself rejects this. Iroh, no matter how hard he tries, can’t save Zuko. Zuko has to make his own decision to leave on his own terms.

The second definition is the one that’s important right now-- regaining something lost. Zuko (and the Fire Nation) has (or at least, believes he has) lost his honor, and he wants it back.

(Side note: That idea of reclamation/repossession is also something to consider when talking about Aang/the Air Nomads, the Water Tribes, and the Earth Kingdom regaining everything they’ve lost in the war. (I might discuss that in another post.) Redemption isn’t generally the word you hear in regards to victims, but it does apply.)

[ID: Dictionary definition of the word “Honor”: Noun 1. high respect; great esteem. 2. adherence to what is right or to a conventional standard of conduct. Verb 1. regard with great respect. 2. fulfil (an obligation) or keep (an agreement). End ID]

From Zuko’s very introduction, we see that he does honor his word, even when his opponents don’t. He told Aang he would leave the Water Tribe village in peace, and he kept his word, even when Aang did not.

Zuko’s obsession with redeeming his honor (again, that second definiton of redemption) is because he has conflated the two meanings of “honor”; he lost his esteem (read: privilege), and he thinks that somehow means he’s lost his integrity. In his obsession with regaining the first, he loses the second. This culminates in “The Crossroads of Destiny.” When he turns his back on Iroh in Ba Sing Se, he has broken the trust Iroh had in him-- he’s dishonored himself.

(Which, in a sense, is a microcosm for how the Fire Nation lost their honor-- they broke the trust all four of the nations had for each other.)

When he returns to the Fire Nation, he has what he thinks he wanted-- esteem and respect (read: his father’s “love”). But it’s a hollow shell of what it should be. He’s always been a person of integrity-- the person who’s being honored isn’t him. (Or, at least, it isn’t who he wants to be.)

And so this time, he rejects that first definition of honor. In essence, he says that respect is useless if the person’s actions aren’t deserving of respect.

In doing so, he takes back-- he redeems-- his real honor.

That’s what Zuko’s redemption arc is about. It’s not about “becoming a good person” or “being saved from evil,” it’s about taking back what he already had.

So I have no problem with calling Zuko’s story a redemption arc, because that’s what it is: a tale of a boy, and eventually, a nation, taking back what they’ve lost-- their honor-- through his own hands.

Any narrative about Azula, however, can’t be about that.

There are two reasons for this.

First off, Azula herself doesn’t care about honor. Unlike Zuko, her honor has never been something she valued. In “The Chase,” she rejects the very notion of honor when, after claiming that “a princess surrenders with honor,” she breaks her word. For Zuko, his honor is an integral part of his value system and who he is, but Azula has never even entertained the question-- if it doesn’t help her acheive her goals, it’s worthless.

Second, as I’ve mentioned, true redemption is about regaining something that’s been lost. What does Azula have to regain? Azula’s drive has always been about getting things she doesn’t have. (See Mirror & Misdirection - The Distortions of the Mirror Scene from @cobra-diamond for more on Azula’s goals and motivations.)

And the most of the things she’s lost are things she can’t get back:

Her relationships with Mai and Ty Lee were flawed from the beginning. Even if she does build new ones with them, they can’t be the same. Her relationship with Zuko might not have started wrong, but it’s become so warped and deformed, I don’t think either of them could get it back to the way it was-- nor should they. Most people have a different type of relationship with their siblings as adults than they did when they were children, and that’s okay. Her relationship with her mother is fractured and messy-- even if they did want to make up, it would, again, have to be a different kind of relationship. (And if you’ve been following me for any period of time, you also know my feelings on her relationship with Lu Ten, which, obviously, she can’t get back.)

Anything else-- her relationship with Ozai, her title and status, and that expectation of being a perfect princess-- are things she probably shouldn’t get back, because they would do more harm than good.

So no, an Azula story would not-- could not-- be about redemption.

Ideally, a narrative focusing on Azula would focus on two things: healing and atonement.

[ID: Dictionary definition of the word “Healing”: Noun the process of making or becoming sound or healthy again. Adjective tending to heal; therapeutic. End ID]

[ID: Dictionary definition of the word “Atonement”: Noun 1. reparation for a wrong or injury. 2. (in religious contexts) reparation or expiation for sin. End ID]

(Read @deliciousmeta‘s take on the difference between “redemption” and “atonement.” In short, redemption is about “being saved” from “inherent badness,” while atonement is about taking responsibility for your actions and doing the best you can to try and fix the wrongs you’ve done.)

At the end of ATLA, Azula has what, in layman’s terms, is commonly referred to as a mental (or nervous) breakdown. I’ve seen arguments about how that “proves” she’s a “horrible person” (coming back to OP’s argument about our obsession with categorizing people as “good” or “bad”), and I’ve seen competing arguments calling this ableist and furthering the stigmatization of mental illness.

I’ve talked about nervous breakdowns before, but here’s the gist: they are a body’s way of crying out for help. In real life, mental breakdowns are meant to be followed with the sick person (because mental illness is just as much an illness as cancer or sickle-cell anemia) actually getting the help they need.

What Azula needs is help-- preferably from an adult who hasn’t been personally affected by her actions, and who she doesn’t have pre-existing negative feelings about. She needs to be willing to accept that help (because you cannot help someone who refuses to be helped). And she needs to come to the realization that she has made mistakes-- that her actions have hurt people.

Only then will she be able to start making atonement for her actions.

What would that look like? I’m not sure, but I’ve got some ideas......

(No, I’m not going to tell you what they are, I have to leave some surprises for my future fics!)

#avatar the last airbender #meta #azula #zuko #azula's redemption arc #or not #zuko's redemption arc #mental illness #mental breakdown #thoughts #honor #healing #atonement

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moonbeambucky · 4 years

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Hey Neighbor (Part 12)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Billy Russo x Reader Word Count: 2731 Warnings: fluff, light angst

Summary: You had a plan and then life came along with one of its own. With your future almost derailed you worked hard to get yourself back on track and finally everything seemed to be going right… that is, until your new neighbor moved in.

A/N: I know some of you may not have been happy about what happened in the last chapter and I expect that not to change here 🙈🙈

PART 11 | HEY NEIGHBOR MASTERLIST

It feels a little intimidating to be walking into an unfamiliar place. You and Billy decided to meet at a restaurant somewhat in between your apartments, although the commute straight from the hospital made the distance a little bit farther.

Even worse you were running late thanks to a last minute case that needed your attention. Billy understood and you hoped he believed you when you said you were still on your way. You were nervous and excited at the same time, not having been on a date in… well, you really don’t want to think about exactly how long.

It’s pretty crowded, not that you expected anything less for a Friday evening. You scan through all the faces that seemed to blend together in the dim lighting against the wall as you look for Billy. The long bar near the entryway is much brighter, with lighted holiday garland still up surrounding the shelves of liquor.

At the end of the bar you spot him and Billy’s dark eyes illuminate the moment he sees you. He stands up to greet you as you approach, and you both do an awkward dance of wondering if you should hug each other or not. You went for it anyway, your heart beating a little faster as his arm wrapped around your back, squeezing you just a little.

“I’m glad you made it,” he whispered against the shell of your ear. The slight rasp in his soft voice made a tingle run down your spine in the best way.

Texting him had been a lot easier, when you only recalled his good looks by memory, without the pressure of staring back at his handsome face. Billy gently placed his hand against your back as he guided you towards the host. You were seated in the back, hopefully far enough away from the crowds huddled around the TV near the bar showing tonight’s basketball game.

Sitting across from Billy you couldn’t help but feel awkward under his focused gaze. Your cheeks began to heat up and you’ve never been more thankful for a server to appear. You ordered a drink, hoping it would arrive soon enough to help you over the hurdle of your awkwardness and shed the first date jitters.

A thunderous cheer from the bar startled you, making you cringe internally for nearly jumping in your seat but the sound of Billy’s sweet laughter eased your worries. Your minor embarrassment allowed for the conversation to flow freely, and over much better food than you expected this bar to have, you and Billy got to know each other better.

His company ANVIL provided private security and tactical training seminars. What stuck with you most was how all of his employees were veterans.

“It changes you.” He spoke about war, each word a poignant reminder that he too has battle scars, both visible and not. “A lot of us felt lost comin’ home. We can’t pretend we fit back into a world when the puzzle’s changed on us. This is my way of helpin’ my brothers find their place again.”

Sighing softly, it felt like your heart doubled in size as you listened to him, believing in all the good he was doing for those that needed purpose again. Your hand reached out across the table towards Billy’s, gently rubbing your thumb along his skin as your palm covered his knuckles. It made you second guess if his smooth skin is about grooming or if he’s erasing every hardened memory of his past, softening his skin to soothe the trauma of his mind.

You felt a connection with Billy because of this, finding commonality in your work. Even though ANVIL is in security, it still provides a therapeutic environment to its employees. You opened up to share your own background and why social work is so important to you.

“I have seven months to go until I graduate and I honestly can’t wait. It’s been such a long journey to get to this point but everything will be worth it. To be the person that can make a difference in someone’s life, to stand up for them, help and protect them; it really means so much to me.”

Billy is quiet for a moment, meditating on his thoughts. His mouth opens but he chooses not to speak, offering a gentle smile instead. There’s a silent understanding that he isn’t ready to continue talking. It’s a heavy subject and certainly not the best first date material, but somehow everything felt right.

He paid for everything despite your offering to split the bill, lacing his fingers with yours as he walked with you a few blocks to the subway station. Even though it was Friday, you were exhausted and really needed to go home and crash.

Under the glow of a street lamp you kissed Billy goodnight, feeling a rush of excitement warming your body as you craved more of the softness of his lips. His hand came against your cheek as he parted your lips with his tongue.

Your knees buckled under the caress of his tongue against yours and Billy felt the way your body wanted to melt against his. His hands wrapped around your waist as he continued to steal the breath from your lungs.

It may be cold outside but right now all you can feel is the heat simmering in your bones. The longer Billy kisses you the more you want to let him, your core aching with desire, begging you to take him home.

A soft bubble erupts in the back of your throat and you pull away breathless. Pressing your kiss swollen lips together you smile at Billy, seeing his pink dusted cheeks that could have been from the cold but the lustful gleam in his eyes say otherwise.

It’s very tempting to give in to what you want but common sense gets the win for the night. You part, promising to speak again tomorrow and honestly, you couldn’t wait.

“Earth to Y/N! Hello!” Wanda waved her hand in front of your face that had been glued to your phone all night, accompanied by the smile that would not fade.

“S-sorry, sorry. You were saying?”

Wanda huffed, rolling her eyes as she continued her conversation, asking everybody their opinions on her plans for Valentine’s Day with Sam.

“I think it’s a lovely idea,” Peggy replied, snuggling a little closer to Steve as she thought of the plans they’ll be sharing.

Natasha was quiet, taking a sip from her drink as she observed you curiously. You were trying desperately to not touch your phone, though your eyes couldn’t help but dart towards the screen that lit up every few minutes.

It was odd considering Bucky was seated beside you, his phone nowhere in sight as he propped his elbows against the table, hand curled lazily around his beer. She had caught a glimpse of your shared kiss on New Year’s Eve, pointing Clint in your direction as well so they could share in the satisfaction of being right.

From the moment you no longer wanted to kill Bucky they had been taking bets on how long it would take for you to hook up. Clint had bet by Halloween but Natasha knew it would take longer. Although now she’s unsure if she truly won the bet. You and Bucky kissed of course but nothing else suggests you had gone further; and by the ever growing smile on your face as you ignore everyone including Bucky, she has a strong suspicion of what may have derailed her chance of winning.

“Y/N, for Valentine’s Day do you have plans with your mystery texter?” Natasha asked, silencing the entire table.

A grin spread across her face as your eyes began to widen. You were caught. Not that you had done anything at all to hide it.

Wanda’s mouth fell open. “Could it be?!”

“Details, now!” Steve practically commanded. Feeling like the honorary older brother in your life he absolutely needed to know who was causing you to act as giddy as you were.

“Okay, okay!” you laughed, holding your palms up as if you were caught red handed. Trying to control your smile, you took a deep breath before telling everyone about how you met Billy. “We’ve gone out a few times and he’s really sweet. I can’t wait for you guys to meet him!”

While almost everyone said they couldn’t wait Natasha noticed the way Bucky turned a little paler, grumbling the words under his breath before he washed them away with a hefty swig. She cocked her eyebrow at Clint, sharing an unspoken look they would definitely be discussing when they were alone.

Your stomach was churning and not because of the bloody glimpse you passed in the ER during your hours at the hospital. Tonight the entire group was getting together and they were going to meet Billy.

The thought had you shaking though you’re not sure why you’re so nervous. Billy has been a total sweetheart and you’re certain your friends will like him. It had been a few weeks since you first met and you had kept your dates mostly secret, not wanting to tell anyone until you were sure this was something worth speaking about.

Most of the dates have been low-key, meeting up at The Grind House or grabbing a quick bite to eat after work. Both of your schedules were pretty busy and you didn’t envy the fact that Billy ran an entire company. Only once did he have to cancel at the last minute; things came up and you completely understood. What you did not expect was a beautiful bouquet of flowers delivered to you at the hospital as an apology.

As you were getting ready you got a text from Billy saying he would meet you at the bowling lounge you were all going to since he was still working and it would be faster to head there directly. This only added to your nerves, having to wait just a little longer before Billy met everyone as opposed to breaking the ice with Bucky, Natasha and Clint on the way there as you imagined.

The moment you were hoping he could bowl well was when you decided you needed to stop overthinking everything and relax. Your friends will like Billy regardless of little things; as long as he treated you well, and he did, was all that mattered.

The subway was crowded, with bodies cramped even closer together to avoid the spilled drink right in front of the door. You were pressed against Bucky’s chest which you didn’t mind at all considering it could have been worse given the other passengers surrounding you. He was on alert as a man got on the next stop, with foam nearly frozen down his mouth and chin, mumbling loudly as he paced back and forth through the spill.

Bucky shifted his position so you were mostly behind him, although he was still turned to the side to keep his eye out just in case. You appreciated the gesture, smiling softly in silent thanks, taking note of the bags under his eyes. He hadn’t mentioned the latest project he was working on but you assumed it’s something that’s kept him up.

The brisk air moves right through you as you ascend the steps to the street, walking quickly past the large scattering of tourists that lazily stop along 42nd Street to take pictures despite the freezing cold. Thankfully you only had a few blocks to walk.

Steve and Peggy were waiting inside the lobby, informing you Wanda and Sam should be there shortly. You saw the text she had sent to everyone, skimming over it to text Billy and let him know you arrived. The nerves came back in full force as you saw the three dots appear as he was typing.

What if he couldn’t make it? What if he had to stay late at work? What if he just didn’t want to see you? What if this was some elaborate joke and you were tricked into believing somebody could actually like you?

Worrisome thoughts ran through your mind until Billy’s response came through. There was some relief knowing he was two blocks away, but the nerves still stayed, hoping your friends would like him and do their best not to embarrass you.

“On your left,” a voice called out, and Steve turned around to see Sam, smiling beside a bundled up Wanda as they greeted each other. Apparently this was some inside joke no one else but them understood.

“When did it get so cold?” Wanda asked rhetorically, blowing out puffs of cold air as she loosened the scarf from around her neck. She greeted everyone, realizing all but one person was there. Just as she was going to ask about Billy he stepped through the door.

A wide smile spread across his face as he spotted you. His lean legs carried him towards you in long strides, cold lips and even colder skin pressing against your own as he greeted you with an affectionate kiss in front of your friends. Their middle school teasing of “oohs” broke the kiss, though your hand stayed cupped against his face, bringing warmth to his rose colored cheeks.

Bucky rolled his eyes at the display, a stranger in his mind, claiming his possession over you without a word spoken. Who does Billy think he is anyway? It’s practically below zero and he isn’t even wearing a hat. Pretty boy doesn’t want to ruin his hair, clearly. Bucky realized he was wearing his inner thoughts of disgust on his face, and quickly shook it off; yet the feeling of dislike for Billy hadn’t gone away as quickly.

Billy introduced himself to everyone as you stood beside him, unable to stop staring at how gorgeous he looked in a simple sweater and dark jeans. These were his colors, dark tones that matched his cavernous eyes, contrasting against the light skin of his perfect face.

From the corner of his eye Bucky couldn’t help but notice the way Billy’s hands were all over you, rubbing your back as you all waited for the employee to assign your lane, to the slip of his hand in the back pocket of your jeans.

His jaw clenched, anger rising in him for reasons he couldn’t quite understand but the moment he saw your face he let go of his tension with ease. You looked so happy, from the twinkle in your eyes to the smile you couldn’t contain. If you were happy Bucky was happy for you, even if he didn’t like it.

Two teams were chosen as you settled in to play, with Sam and Steve being the captains of each. Sam of course picked Wanda, along with Natasha and Clint while Steve chose Peggy first, with you, Billy and Bucky rounding out the rest of his team.

“I did it!” You jumped in surprise as you got a strike, by sheer luck since your first few turns made you wish the bumpers were inflated.

“That’s my girl,” Billy said smiling, cocking his head as he waited for you to come back to the bench.

Bucky was up next. Grabbing the swirly blue ball, he released it with a vigorous throw, not bothering at all to really aim. He took a few pins down, and waited for the ball to come back by the machine. Somehow throwing a heavy object at other objects made everything feel a little better but the sight of you making out with Billy crushed any attempts at his spirit feeling renewed.

During the games drinks and food were ordered and you were happy because it seemed like everyone was getting along with Billy. After two games Sam’s team ended up with the higher scores, and he absolutely rubbed it in Steve’s face.

“My shift is early tomorrow so I’m gonna head out,” Sam said, getting up from the table.

It wasn’t terribly late but considering how cold it was no one else really wanted to stay out to do anything. Bucky shrugged on his coat, watching Billy lean in to whisper something in your ear that made your lips pull into a smirk. As you said goodnight to everyone Bucky realized you wouldn’t be joining him, Natasha and Clint home.

PART 13

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes au #billy russo x reader

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blissfulparker · 4 years

Text

Seasick→P.4 Peter Parker

Parings→college!peter x reader

Summary→ when you give one lie to your mom that you have a boyfriend, she ends up buying an extra ticket for a cruise you guys are going on. Now you’re stuck looking for a fake boyfriend and eventually drag peter in. Except you and peter both like each other and don’t know how long you can last pretending.

Warnings→fluff, mentions of sex

A/n→hi! Sorry this is kinda late but I’m in school so every update is going to be kinda scattered🥺here is part four and it’s kinda long but let me know how you like it✨

Masterlist

10 hours. For once in the entire year peter got 10 hours of sleep without having to wake up to adjust the pillow, wake up to take off the sheets, he slept for a full 10 hours and it was the best sleep he had gotten in years.

The bed was empty though, empty and cold. He could tell you already got yourself ready and left by the way your sandals that once rested by the door were gone and the bathroom was wide open. For you, someone who seemed to vist the bathroom about 8 times in just one day, peter had not seemed to use it once.

Went for a swim-(y/n)

Left on his bedside table on top of his phone. His phone which had three new messages from May, two new messages from ned, and one message from MJ. He wasn’t use to getting messages from her. Normally when he got messages from her it was for school, a lost assignment she needed, study questions, never would he expect to get one over the summer.

Be nice to her loser!

Was all it read. He chuckled a little before closing out from it and moving to Ned’s messages.

Did you kiss her?

Fake kisses can be real ones!

What’s it like living on a boat?

Peter cracks a smile at all of them and his fingers are quick to respond.

No we didn’t kiss, it’s not like that

It’s fun so far, her family is interesting

He leaves it at that, he’s not going to say much more out of respect for you. If Ned knew, Ned knew. He didn’t know what people knew about you. He didn’t know what you told MJ and Betty. He didn’t know if he knew you anymore. He wasn’t mad, just confused. Confused but understood just a little.

Interesting was the right word

Do yourself a favor and just kiss, you don’t even have to tell Betty and MJ😉

The text makes him blush and set his phone down. He can’t imagine what his first kiss with you will be like on this cruise. Will it be forced? Will it be willingly? Will it be just to prove a point? This whole relationship though was just to prove a point.

He thought maybe he could find you going for a swim. But there were 27 different pools on this ship, he already looked at the map. Seven hotels, 20 public pools, four of those pools being just for kids, three of them being for adults, five of them being apart of spas, 127 different restaurants, 100 different gift shops, 150 different bars, He’s got the whole place mapped out.

Before he could even finish the possibilities of where you could be, you come back into the room with your hair soaking wet. Towel in hand but your body is dry, he doesn’t look at you as you wear the small red bikini. He knows if he looks he can’t look away, so he turns away and clears his throat.

“It’s only 9am.” He says loud enough for you to hear from the bathroom.

“I know.” You call back.

“So what time did you go swimming?” He hears the shower turn on and doesn’t expect an answer but you come out with a towel wrapped around your nude body to answer him.

“I like to play the fun game of, get there early enough to sneak in and leave right before the lifeguards shift.” You wink before shutting the bathroom door and hoping in the shower.

Peter flops back down on the bed, in shock of all the things he just saw. He basically saw his life long crush naked, wet too. But he had to keep his head focused, had to keep playing the part of the fake boyfriend and had to still be your friend at the same time.

“I-um…” he knocks twice. “I’m going to get breakfast!” He yells at you. There’s a faint ‘okay’ but it was that you heard him.

You were right when you told him that being on a cruise felt nothing like being on the ocean. Walking through the hotel he felt like he was just on vacation somewhere tropical. The weather was nice so far and everyone wore shorts and tee shirts all day.

He found himself at the cafe, just going to get a coffee for the both of you and then breakfast sandwiches. That’s all he was going to do but the sound of your sisters voice calling him over made him stop in his tracks. He wasn’t prepared for being alone and having to show a relationship, but maybe she just wanted to know him and everyone was good about talking about themselves, so this would be easy.

“Peter!” The one who he met last night, maya, called out. “Peter come sit!” She pulled out a chair next to her before he could order. He walks over to take a seat, nervous of what would happen next.

“Uh, um, hey.” He tries to play off cool but her tapping her coffee cup, resting her nicely painted nails on her face, and leaning in, all made Peter nervous.

“How was your first nights sleep here?” She asks almost like she’s playing a game. He knew she didn’t care about his sleep, he didn’t even think she cared about your sleep.

“It was good, we slept—“ he started but she quickly cut him off.

“Oh I really don’t care how you sleep, I meant how are you two? How is she dealing with a boyfriend.” Her eyes squinted a little almost like she’s on to him, trying to read him.

“Well, we’ve been together since January and we’ve slept in the same bed before so it wasn’t strange to us. She’s good, she’s really good to me and I like to think I’m good enough for her.” He swallows hard. Hands rest on his sweatpants. his mind wonders and he can’t help the thought of what was she trying to do to him?

“You know...Europe, you mentioned last night about how you two knew your feelings then...it was awful what happened during your trip wasn’t it? Some sort of monster thing tried to take over? So sad. You know she really wanted to go to oxford? She wanted to study there for two years and she even said maybe once she’s done at Columbia and NYU she’s going to head over there. She’s very smart you know.” Her cup rocks back and forth in her hand. Was she trying to get him to break up with you? Why would you want to bring him or anyone along as a boyfriend if your family didn’t even like it?

“Wow, Oxford is like a dream.” He laughs a little, rubbing his hands. “But um...she hasn’t said anything about a transfer and she seems pretty happy at Columbia—“ he starts and she interrupted again.

“Did you know when she was a kid she wanted to be a doctor? She loved helping people and up until about the age of fourteen she wanted to be a doctor so badly but then she studies journalism and English literature, crazy how we always end up in something completely different.” She talks as if she’s jealous but what was there to be jealous about? She had a well life it seemed, the ring on her finger suggested that too.

“You’re married?” He asked changing the subject. she stares down at the bright diamond and brings it up for him to see more.

“Oh no, just engaged.” She takes a sip of the cold coffee and sets it down. “He lives in California, we’re moving to new York in the fall and having the wedding next year in the spring.” She told almost like she was bored with talking about that. When pepper got engaged it was all she ever talked about at the tower, not in a bragging way, just she was happy.

“But I don’t want to talk about my life right now, tell me more about you peter. She said something about a stark internship last night?” She blinks her eyes a few times, her eyelash extensions help bring fear.

“I work there now actually, it helps get me credit for my major and I’ve been an intern since I was fourteen. I um…I now just work on minor stuff like equipment, programming, stuff like that.” He tried to play off as nothing. Nothing, because he wanted to leave.

“So glad she found someone smart honestly, I was starting to loose all hope for her.” She says with a sigh as she leans back in her chair, she drops her sunglasses on her face as it starts to peak into the cafe. He wants to say something but he holds back, he holds back and keeps to himself.

“Peter!” Your voice hisses as you come into the cafe. He didn’t even realize he’s been sitting with your sister for 30 minutes. “Petey…” you come up to him with a kiss to his cheek. He acts sweet and touches your cheek.

“So nice to see you this early, Peter and I were just getting to know each other.” She smiles, her teeth perfectly straight and white, almost like she was just perfect.

“Oh really?” You say with a fake smile knowing you just got here in time to save peter. “Babe, I thought maybe we could go mini golfing today.” You sit on his lap trying to make your sister uncomfortable enough to leave.

“Ooo! You guys should take a painting class, Dan and I did it and it was so therapeutic. (Y/n) I know spas aren’t your thing or anything so you guys should definitely take a painting class! Maybe a couples massage! Peter don’t you think she deserves a massage?” She takes up her sunglasses and Peter agrees.

“We’ll think about it, Peter, let’s get some coffee and head back to the room? I’m feeling a little tired.” You pout, resting your hands around his shoulder he has his hands on your waist.

“Yeah sure.” He nods and your sister gives a sly smirk before you two get up and get in line. Your hand gripping his bicep and you never noticed or really seen until now and last night, how strong and built Peter was. Nerdy, computer science, shy peter was ripped.

You know she’s still watching, Peters hand is still gripping your waist as he lets you lean on his shoulder.

“What did she say?” You ask and he turns to see her now just looking at her phone.

“She just asked a lot about me.” He didn’t really lie, he just didn’t talk about how she mentioned transferring so much. It made him nervous.

“Sorry, I didn’t think she’d be down here. I should’ve warned you to stay in until I—“ you start and he looks at you with soft comforting eyes.

“It was okay, she doesn’t know.” He tells you with a soft nod. You sigh into his shoulder before it’s your turn to order. Who knew that this early in the morning you’d already have to start your fake relationship.

You get ready in the hotel, the first full day of being here and you're trying to get Peter out of everything before your sister breaks him. Either of your sisters break him. You realized you had to put more effort into this than you thought, pet names, hand touching, being giggly was not enough. It was almost like they needed proof that you've fucked to make a real relationship.

Peter sat comfy on the bed, looking through the pamphlet he snagged to get a better idea of the things he could do. If he's on a free cruise, everything paid for he might as well take advantage of that.

There was a knock on the door that made him look up. You were in the other room on the phone with MJ so he knew you couldn't hear it. He gets up and looks through the peephole to see it's just your mom on the other side. She's made him feel the most calm about this whole thing but has seemed to irritate you this whole time.

“Oh, peter!” she's shocked to see him answer the door. She holds a bag in her hands and looks like she's ready to go to the pool. “Sorry if i distrubed anything.” she looked behind him but didn't see anything.

“Oh no, (y/n) is just um...she was just getting ready.” he tells her and she smiles handing over the bag.

“Oh, okay! Well let her know we're meeting for lunch and then going to the garden as a family after lunch.” she smiles and hands him the bag, you come right behind him wearing your sweats and an old tee shirt.

“Mom?” you ask, standing next to peter.

“Lunch and musem at one.” she tells you and right as you were about to say something she stops you. “Don't debate it, be there at one.” she tells you in more of a stern voice. She hands you over the bag and you look at her confused.

“That's just some things I thought you might need.” she winks and then turns to leave. Peter shuts the door and you open to look in the bag. A box of condoms, plan B, and a few other snacks which made you groan.

“She has to be joking.” you toss the bag on the bed before rubbing your face.

“Y-your mom just buys you those things?” his face grows red. He remembers the first time he bought condoms, he was 17 and May found out and gave him an hour long talk on how to be safe and treat a woman right. That was the last time he would use his debt card to buy condoms or anything sex related.

“Sadly, yes.” you say as you take them out and shove them in the dresser. “So much for getting away from them today.” you sigh and he looks at how stressed you are, he thinks of comforting you as a friend but everything happening is already so weird, he really doesn't know how things will look after this.

“I mean it's just lunch right? We can probably sneak away at the musuem.” he offered and you smiled as he was just trying to help. He was just trying to help but he was so clueless.

“Maybe.” you told him before looking at the time. You rub your face again before getting ready to face yourself with a new pain.

It was almost like your family grew overnight. Your eldest sister who was the most bitter now had a man by her side, he didn't know how he was supposed to keep up with all of this, how much was he supposed to know? So you had sisters, and an aunt, your parents, he wasn't sure what else to expect. Your hand was tight in his as the two of you walked around the museum. Art hung from the walls and families walked in and out. Your family a little bit ahead, all going off into different groups.

“Where is any of this from?” you look to see your family far enough ahead to not see the two of you.

“Stolen. All art is stolen.” you told him and he bites his lip, not exactly the answer he was looking for but it was a right one.

“I meant more of its origin, but um, that works too…” he swallows hard. Right as things were peaceful your older sister comes up. The one that intimidated him the most was standing right next to him.

“You'd think maybe after the millionth time of being here they would have run out of stuff to put in here.” She speaks to you, Peter is frozen, not knowing the next move.

“Well, half of it is replicas, replicas or real. Most of it is borrowed.” you told her and she nodded.

“Did i get a chance to tell you that you guys are the cutest?” she was the only one with sleek brown hair, the rest of the family had curls.

“No, I don't think you did.” you had a new face on, one peter never had seen before. You were competing with her. “Where's jack?” you ask about her husband.

“I'm not talking about jack right now i'm talking about you and…” she looks at him and you are quick to speak up.

“Peter. It's peter.” you told her and she presses her lips together.

“Right, i'm bad with names, you know that dont you little sis.” she playfully hits your shoulder.

“How london?” you asked her. He could tell she had an accent, he was just clueless as to where it came from.

“Cold, but the people are lovely.” she tells you quickly. “For a couple that's been together for six months, you sure haven't kissed a lot. In fact, I haven't seen you kiss at all. Six months, jack and I were still in our honeymoon phase.” his grip tightens, he's worried for the second time someone would blow your cover.

“We just don't need to kiss in front of other people, it's not your business anyways.” you told her. She looked at Peter one more time before she heard her name being called. She gave you one last smile before her heels clicked away.

You didn't say a word after that. Your hand slipped from his as you cleared your throat and folded them. You didn't speak a word the rest of the time. Peter's hand rested softly on your back around your family but when you two were alone again he could tell you didnt want to be touched.

“Were going to go to the bar tonight okay sweetheart?” your mom came and kissed your cheeks and you nodded. Putting on a fake smile and nodding to her. She then turned and hugged Peter, Peter gave her a soft hug before turning back to you.

Your arm snaked around Peter as you felt your sisters watching. Peter felt it too, he turned to you softly, holding your cheek and leans in to place a soft kiss on your lips. You're shocked but then realizes what he's doing and fall into the kiss. His lips chapped, they taste a little like carmex and mint toothpaste. Your body melts into his as he harshens the kiss to a makeout before moving off of you.

“What was that for?” you whispered against his lips and he looked over to see your sisters moved on, your mom now holding a different conversation.

“They were watching.” he told you and you break eye contact remembering it's all just a show. You forget that he's just a friend and doesn't really like you. He doesn't have feelings like you do.

“Right.” you murmured. You move back from him before turning away before leaving the museum and going back to the room.

He didn't chase after you but when he got to the hotel he put his ear to the door and he could hear a faint cry, a faint cry that made him shove his key back in his pocket and turn away knowing the last thing you needed was your fake boyfriend to come in and confuse you while your messed up family made fun of you.

You hurt, a lot. And peter didn’t understand why you kept it all such a secret. Why you hid this from him but you did. He didn’t want to push anymore than he already did so he would have to go forward from here. Go forward and make sure he was the best fake boyfriend you’d ever had.

Seasick Taglist: @jackiehollanderr @itscaminow @just-a-little bit-of-everything @th0ttie4tommy@hotel-colson @peterparker2003 @silver-winter-wolf

Permanent taglist: Permanent Taglist: @hoodiesparker @dahliaspidey @parkersvibes @itssss-a-bean @ppkrtingle @myfinalwords @bocaul @tinyplanet-explorers @sincerlyfan @softbaby-Tom @awesomeblackcottontail @rosebeegraham @stormyholland @unicorn-princess-1999 @spideyyypeter @marshyrebelcloud @oh-epiphany @yeahimcrying @highlydisfunctional1 @disgustangg @pterstingle @quacksonhq @saturnpeter @reblogsfics @tomsrebeleyebrow @dreamyyholland @imaginashawnns @alilpunkrock @peterspideysenses @lovely-valllll @lowkey-holland @hannaholland1811 @kthemarsian @maryjane23 @jillianaholland @dumbiessshort @paracutepants

#peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #peter parker fluff #peter parker fan fic #peter parker fan fiction #peter parker angst #peter parker au #college!peter #peter parker headcanon #peter parker fanfic

293 notes · View notes

peachiikawa · 3 years

Text

Fly | Route Selected: O. Tooru

genre: mafia au, choose your own adventure

warnings: honestly nothing too bad in this route

word count: 3.1k

Fly Masterlist

“I choose--”

But before you could even finish your sentence, the front door opened and an arm draped around your shoulders

“They’ll be with me”

You looked to see who had just walked in and were stunned to see such a beautiful man

“Very funny oikawa, now let them go. This is a personal matter”

Daichi took a step forward and you could feel the tension in the air

But the silence was broken with a chuckle from oikawa

“Dont worry so much daichi. They arent just a threat to you theyre a threat to the entire community so to make your burden easier ill gladly take them in. you have better things to worry about anyways”

The smile on his face was far from a friendly one

Even you could tell it was a bit condescending and it made you a bit scared

He led you out the door but not before turning his head one last time

“Tell your old man seijou gives their regards”

With that he led you to his car and got you buckled in

“Now where do you live..?”

“My name is y/n and i live down the street and around the block”

He drove you home and made sure you got into your apartment

“Come in tomorrow whenever youd like, preferable before noon though. Heres my card if you have any questions. Goodnight y/n!”

He kept the conversation brief and didnt look back as he left

As soon as you closed the door you leaned against it and slid down onto the ground

Just what had you gotten yourself into?

You couldnt really sleep that night knowing that in the morning you were going to be working with the mafia

So you took an early shower and got to the address on the card oikawa gave you the night before around eight o’clock

You took a nervous breath before walking into the gigantic corporate building

‘Seijoh Industries’

The company had a long reputation of being in the modeling and fashion industry

It scared you to think that so many big companies were involved in who knows what else

You pushed the glass doors open and immediately got lost

Like how do you even navigate the inside of this building???

It wasnt long before you got stopped

...by some guy with blonde hair with lines in them

Was he trying to look like a tennis ball??

As he steps toward you you take one back until youre against a wall

“What the fuck are you doing here? Youd better leave. Now”

You feel like your stomach is about to drop before you hear that all too familiar voice

“Maddog what are you doing to y/n! Its their first day you shouldnt be so mean”

Oikawa grabbed your hand and led you down the hall to a pristine office

He sat down behind his desk and organized a few papers for you

“Youre here bright and early. I was half expecting you to just not show up”

His eyes glanced up from the papers in his hands for a brief moment

“But im glad you did it would have been a..hassle to find you”

The way that sentence came out of his mouth with that smile on his face sent a shiver down your back

He handed you a few papers and a list of tasks to do

Most of which consisted of you running errands and organizing some cabinets around the building

“Finish those and if you get done with that before the end of the day you can do whatever. Just dont poke your nose where it doesnt belong”

The smile on his face never left once your entire conversation and it left you with a weird feeling in your gut

As you turned to leave you just couldnt shake the weird feeling you got every time you saw it

But you went on your way, trying not to think about it too hard

You did each task with ease and you really thought that some of them were a bit unnecessary since most of the things on the list were already done

It was almost therapeutic doing normal things, it at least made you feel less nervous

It didnt take you long before you finished your tasks

“Hey you”

You jumped at the sound of someone’s voice and slowly turned towards a man with short and spiky brown hair

He held out a couple of papers to you

“I need you to make a few copies of these and then bring them to trashykawa”

Your eyebrows furrowed and he noticed your confusion

“I mean Oikawa. Sorry, force of habit. Im Iwaizumi by the way. I work over in communications''

You fumbled with the papers in your hands, trying to get a grip before he noticed how nervous you were

His sharp eyes were fixed on you which made you even more self-conscious

You let out a shaky breath before introducing yourself

“Im y/n. Its my first day working here”

He nodded his head

“Yeah well just lay low if you want to survive this mess. Ill see you later y/n.”

A few weeks go by and it seems to be the same thing filling your days

This place wasnt as scary as you first thought and everyone seemed nice enough

The beeping from the copy machine brought you back to reality from your daydream and headed back to oikawas office

Though you had been here for almost a month now, it never got easier to be around him

Something was just too off putting about him

You took a deep breathe before knocking on the door to which you got a muffled “come in”

He didnt look up as you set the papers on his desk and only looked back up at you when he didnt hear your leave

He took off the glasses he was wearing and set them down in front of him

“Can i help you with something?”

Again, that smile on his face just...didnt feel right

“I was done with my work, is there anything else I can do for you?”

He just shook his head

“That should be it for me! Why dont you go see if iwa needs anything?”

You could tell that he wanted nothing more than to have just a moment to himself

And the constant flow of people probably didnt help

“This might be bold of me to say but that smile you wear around people...you dont need to put up any false pretenses around me. I know my situation and I know it isnt all sunshine and rainbows so feel free to be yourself around me. So one last time, before I go, do you need anything?”

His eyes were wide at what you just said

You had only been here for what? A few weeks? With minimal contact as well

So how did you notice?

The only other person whos ever called him out on it was iwaizumi

And he hated being read like this but he kept that smile up

“Nope im fine”

You nodded and left, closing the door behind you

And as soon as you did he threw his pen down on his desk and held his head in his hands

How...how did you see through him

He had carefully made this mask of his so that no one would be able to see how he was feeling

Emotions were a weakness

He didnt need them

And he sure as hell didnt need you

The next week he made it his mission to completely ice you out

No contact at all

And it made you kind of frustrated

The man steals you away from the other mafia you almost became affiliated with and just throws you to the side?

So you went to him after him doing whatever he could to make sure he avoided you

The man literally had tennis-head outside of his office to scare you away

“What are you doing”

The sudden voice behind you almost made you scream

“Oh iwaizumi! Dont scare me like that!”

You smacked his shoulder as you two hid around the corner from oikawas office

“If you must know im trying to get into oikawas office. I'm sick of his avoiding me like im the plague”

Iwaizumi let out a deep sigh

He knew why oikawa was avoiding you

And he also thought it was a little much

Wasnt it about time he stopped being scared?

“Tell you what y/n, ill distract kenta and while i do you can sneak into oikawas office”

Your eyes sparkled and he almost wanted to laugh

“Really?!”

He nodded and patted your head

“Get that idiot out of his funk”

He then walked up to kenta and walked off with him, giving you a thumbs up behind his back

And when they were out of sight you knocked on oikawas door and didnt wait for him to respond before barging in

To say he was shocked was an understatement

“What are you-”

“Stop. Before you go on about how youre busy just please listen to me. I dont know what i did to deserve this amount of avoidance but if its about what i said that day, i dont regret what i said. And i wish you would stop avoiding your problems and just confront them”

Confront his problems?

What the hell do you know about his problems

“So you came in here to tell me that? What the fuck do you know about me? Youre just some street rat that poked their nose where it didnt belong. You dont know me so stop trying to tell me what to fucking do! Emotions make you weak and i dont need that”

At this point he had you backed against a wall

And when he realized what just happened he pushed himself away from you

God what the hell was he even doing

Hes spent years perfecting his facade

And then you come barging in and it just breaks?

You slowly approached him and put a hand on his shoulder

“See? Was that so bad? Honestly, seeing you like that was refreshing. Feel free to keep the mindset that emotions make you weak, i wont try to convince you otherwise. Thats a realization you need to make on your own but for now please dont hold back around me”

For the first time in a while oikawas heart stood still, almost as if he could feel himself again

“Whatever. I still have paperwork to do so leave or make yourself useful”

He shrugged your hand off of him and went back to his desk

You just smiled and nodded your head

“Ill be back with a coffee for you!”

And when you exited you bumped into the back of kentarou

“Ah sorry! Ill be back!”

As you ran off kenta took a step toward you

“What the hell..get back here!”

But before he could take another oikawa cleared his throat

“You can leave your post mad-dog. Youre no longer needed here”

Kenta nodded his head but was too shocked to move for a moment, caught off guard by the small smile that lingered on his boss’ face

The couple weeks after that you were allowed back in his office and he even started to request your presence at times for no other reason than he just wanted you to sit in the room with him

And that smile he used to give you was now replaced by a soft, genuine smile that made your heart flutter

Little things started to become more noticeable to you

Like how cute it was when he pouted his lips when he was really focused

And honestly he was too

Your smile was maddening

And your laugh made him feel like he was being swallowed whole, unable to breath

It scared him

Nothing good has ever happened when he became emotionally attached to someone

“Oikawa, are you okay?”

You put your hand up to his forehead and checked for a fever

He could feel his cheeks heating up and gently swatted your hand away

“No im fine. Dont worry about me”

He watched your face fill with concern and his heart lurched forward

This feeling...it scared him. But for now, if its you, hes willing to see where this goes

“Good morning oikawa!”

You walked into his office with his morning coffee which he gladly took from your hands

“Good morning y/n”

He had a job later and needed all the energy he could get

But not before having his morning conversation with you

“I'm leaving around noon with maki and mattsun. Iwa’s in charge till i get back so if you need anything ask him”

You could tell by the way he was talking that it was something serious and therefore probably something to do with the mafia

Sure you had done a few things for Seijoh like fax some papers and have oikawa sign a few things but nothing to where oikawa needed to leave has ever come up

He could see anxiety cloud over your face

“Hey”

He grabbed your hand and gave it a small squeeze

“I’ll be fine. You have nothing to worry about, okay?”

You nodded your head

“Please be safe”

Worry reflected in your eyes and it made him almost go weak

All he could do was nod and give a half smile

The entire time he was away you sat at his desk anxiously waiting for his return

...

“Cough up the money oikawa. We had a deal”

Oikawa looked at the man in front of him with his trademark empty smile

“That wasnt our deal. Now give us what you owe”

The room was tense but nothing that oikawa hasnt dealed with before

But his world soon turned upside down with what was thrown on the table that stood between them next

The color drained from his face as he looked at pictures taken of you without anyone knowing

“Where the hell did you get these”

The man in front of him just laughed

“Now thats an interesting expression oikawa. Never thought id see the day where that smile of yours wasnt on your face”

His knuckles were turning white from how hard he was clenching his fists

“You know, it would almost be a shame if something were to happen to them”

Oikawas eyes widened in fear

It felt as if time around him had stopped for this one moment

And it made him want to puke

“Dont you dare lay a hand on them”

His jaw was so tense that he thought he was about to pop a blood vessel

“Then give us the money”

He wasnt left with much of a choice

So he did what he was told

“See? Was that so hard?”

“Are we done here?”

He was itching to get back as soon as possible

To make sure you were okay

He couldnt rest until he knew you were fine

“Yes now leave”

The car ride seemed to last forever, maki and mattsun had never seen their boss like this and exchanged subtle glances the entire ride

As soon as the car stopped he ran into the building and to your desk

And when he saw you werent there his heart dropped

‘Where are you, y/n?!’

The only other place you could be was his office

He slammed his door open only to see you jump up from his desk, the sleep in your eyes still evident

He let out the breath he didnt even know he was holding as soon as his eyes landed on you

He went straight over to you and pulled you into his arms

The tightness of the hold around you was comforting yet alarming

You brought your arms up to wrap around him and you swear you could feel him slightly shaking

“Oikawa?”

You voice was soft and made him feel weak in the knees

“Just…let me stay like this for a moment”

After that day you were moved into his home and he never left your side

He never fully explained what happened that day

But you knew it had shaken him

Especially since you havent seen his smile since then

You were escorted everywhere

And when you asked why you were only given the short answer of “i said i’d guard you so i'm doing that”

You didnt mind being with him, really

If anything you liked being able to be with him all the time

You just hoped you werent being a hindrance

So one night as you laid in bed while oikawa sat on the ground next to you leaning against the bed frame, you turned towards him

He had been doing this lately to “guard” you and you knew he wasnt sleeping much

“Oikawa”

His eyes immediately met yours

“Am i being a burden on you?”

Though it was dark, he could hear the sadness in your voice

“I just feel like ive been holding you back lately and thats the last thing i want to do”

He cupped your face with his hand and gently stroked your cheek

“Not to mention that you havent smiled once since coming back that day and it just all feels very distant and lonesome. I hope you know that you can talk to me, i’ll never judge you for anything”

And in those few simple words the gate that had been holding back all of his emotions back suddenly broke

“y/n im scared”

His head hung low as his lips trembled

“Im scared to lose you and im scared that ive become weak since being with you but i just cant let you go. Losing you makes me feel more terrified than anything else”

The thought of losing you made it feel as if he was drowning and the water was filling his lungs with a burning sensation

You sat up in your bed and took his hand in yours

“Then why dont you turn that fear into strength? Hiding me...putting me under 24 hour surveillance...its no different than running. I dont want to be away from you either oikawa”

How did you always clear his head? It was like your words just made everything make sense

He made his way onto your bed and started to kiss you, soft yet hungry for more

He could never get enough of you

You made his heart full

And you became his strength

You made him strong and he could never forget this debt

taglist: @the-ironic-me @multisun @my-mass-hysteria @sugawsites @youbloodylegendyoudidit @sinthxy @celamoon @tinymouth @fait-de-fleurs @tsukifanbase @69owo @laglyssage @hearteyeskags @ntngann @shnnn @fukuro-dani-ace @exponentially-tired @soy1melk

#oikawa x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!! imagines #tooru oikawa x reader #oikawa toru x reader #toru oikawa x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader

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damn-stark · 4 years

Text

Child of Ren Ch.10

A/N- Plotwist y/n ends up with Finn instead lmao...I’m kidding! Anyhow I loved writing this chapter ;) hope you guys liked it too, leave your thoughts. Take care and I love all you guys.

Warning- Long chapter, fluff, things get very steamy but nothing beyond that (I’m incapable of writing that sadly) slow-burn.

Pairing- Poe Dameron x Reader x Rey, Kylo Ren x reader (platonic)

Takes place- after TLJ & before TROS

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

———

“What the hell?”

Instantly Rey and you pull away from the kiss, looking back to see nothing. You share the same questioning look before hopping down to the ground to observe the surrounding area. You hear or see nothing, but you aren’t scared of what or who it could be, not here. You look over your shoulder and put a finger to your lips to motion Rey to be quiet; whoever was here would come out.

She does as you say and you wait in silence, only moving your head when you hear distant footsteps sneaking not far from you. You smirk and tread lightly towards the noise, holding on to Rey’s hand to make her follow you. The footsteps stop but you don’t need them to locate where the person is anymore, you knew. Again you look over your shoulder to Rey, smiling as you let go of her hand to sneak up on the spy. You carefully move forward and reach the tree the person was hiding behind, you take one step forward and come face to face with the terrible spy.

When you recognize who it was your eyes widen and you freeze where you stand, you part your lips in both confusion and surprise. You expected someone else, Finn maybe, or some other resistance fighter who accidentally ran into Rey and you. But you didn’t expect “Poe?” Your eyebrows knot and you try to read his reaction, but their was too much going on that you couldn’t make out one single emotion on his face. “Wh-what are you doing here?”

Rey joins your side and is equally as confused. Poe doesn’t say anything for a long minute, looking between Rey and you before solely focusing on you with confliction overriding every emotion, but that’s when your mind caught on, figured it out, that’s when your heart sank a little.

Poe had seen Rey and you kiss.

It had been a couple weeks since Poe and you had talked, but that didn’t mean you didn’t stop feeling the way you did for him, but he didn’t know that, in fact he didn’t know what you felt at all. All he knew was that you wanted to kiss him before everything went to shit, but of course seeing what he saw now could mean anything, or nothing to him, but he thought it was something more than you yourself were still very unsure of.

“I was looking for you so we could talk.” He stammered, trying to sound as confident as possible, but you could see straight through him and well you could also feel his every emotion. One thing you liked and disliked of being able to use the force. “But you’re busy we can talk later.” He said almost bitterly, quickly turning on his heel to walk away. You took a step forward to follow after him, but quickly stopped as you remembered Rey was still with you. You parted your lips to try and explain to her, but she knew what you intended to do and only pointed her head to the direction Poe had left in.

“Go, I was going to run coarse anyway. Talk later?”

You offer her a light nod with a small smile before turning and following after Poe. At first you couldn’t see him, even if he had walked off seconds before, but then you spotted his familiar black curly hair in the distance, storming away incredibly fast. “Poe!” He didn’t stop or even look back to the sound of his name, he just continued walking away. “Poe!” Nothing. You picked up your pace until you were hot on his heels, “Poe, please stop.” He let out huff as he halted in his steps, placing his hands on his hips and making you walk to stand in front of him.

“We can talk later, you’re busy, I didn’t want to interrupt. You can go back.”

You let out an annoyed sigh, “really? This is how we’re going to start talking? I haven’t talked to you in weeks and this how we’re going to talk?”

He held onto your gaze for a moment before shifting his eyes away. He stayed silent for a another moment to give himself time to think clearly before blinking down to you and starting the conversation. “Are Rey and—”

“We are not talking about that right now.” You quickly interrupted, pushing that topic aside even though you knew it was going to be inevitable, “you wanted to talk, are you finally ready to talk?” You asked softly.

He parted his lips and you knew he wanted to continue pressing on the previous subject, but he didn’t, “yeah. I just wanted to say that I understand why you hid who you were. It wasn’t easy, I just want to know why? Really why? Why didn’t you tell me? You can trust me.”

You lower your head and don’t say anything, gnawing on your bottom lip for moment before quietly speaking up, “because I was scared of what you were going to think of me, I didn’t want you to see me as a....monster. You were the first person I talked to that didn’t see me as the Child of Ren and I liked that, I didn’t want to be known like it, I wanted to be the person I was supposed to be and being here I got it. I didn’t choose who I was turned into, I was forced to become that person. I’m sorry, I really am.”

He sighed at your words, the anger he felt for the previous situation finally fading away...for now. He let his hands drop to his sides and took a step closer to you, as he attempted to get your gaze back on him, “hey, look at me,”

You hesitated but ultimately did as he told you, noticing his face had softened and their was a gentle look in his eyes. When he was sure you were listening he continued with what he was saying, “you’re not a monster. I was mad because of who you were, yes, I can’t deny that, but you’re not a monster.” He paused for a moment and hesitated to ask his question, but he had to know for sure, “was it true? What the Knights of Ren said? Did Kylo Ren really brainwash you?”

“It wasn’t Kylo. He would never do that to me.” You answered quickly in an unintended defensive tone. “It was Snoke. Snoke took everything from me, who I was, my life, memories, my family. I’m just left with flashes of past memories and a made up life. Now I’m just struggling with both.” Poe was the first person who’ve you really talked to about your past in the first order, you’re now just realizing that. The one person who could make you forget you’re past was the first person you confessed you’re tragedy too. Rey only knew a small portion. “So if I’m a little rude, dark or cold it’s because of that, because of who I was raised to be. I’m sorry.” He didn’t hesitate to wrap you in a tight embrace, making you feel secure in every way possible.

You let out a shaky exhale before hugging him back and resting your head on his shoulder, as he softly spoke again, sounding sincere with every word, “It’s okay Hon, I understand.” You both stay silent, just enjoying in each other’s presence until he pulls away, moving one hand to cup your cheek and showing off a charming smile, “how about we finally go on that fly you’ve been itching to go on, huh?”

A bright smile grows on your lips, “really?”

“We’ve been practicing for a while, I think you’re ready.”

—

“It’s just going to be a quick fly, okay? We’re not in battle, so you won’t actually shoot anything, but you can test those maneuvers.” Poe explains as he leans on the side of the hull, watching as you happily put on his helmet to prepare for just a fun practice fly.

“You sure you won’t join?” You question as you turn to meet his look, making him grin at the sight of you. It took everything within him not to pull you in for a kiss, he really wanted too before and now seeing you with his helmet on he desired it even more, but he didn’t, he couldn’t, not after what he had seen Rey and you do. He was to some extent sure that you had some feelings for him, but after he had seen you kiss Rey, his suspicions were sadly debunked.

“No,” he nods, “I would love too, but their isn’t any other extra ships and well you’re using mine so, another time.”

“We can fit if I scoot in, like when you’re teaching me,” You suggest with a smirk, “it just won’t be the same if you’re not with me.”

He swallows thickly, “t-that’s the whole point. In battle I won’t be riding behind you, but don’t worry I’ve got you from down here.”

“Hmm, damn shame then.” You pause and turn more sincere, “we’ll get more ships, I promise. We’ll do that mission, so then we can actually race.” You wink and grip onto the stirring wheel. “Now move Starboy, I’ve got places to be, stars to visit and well—”

“You’re not leaving this planet.” He interrupts in a serious tone, “it’s just a quick fly.”

“We’ll see.” You joke. He stays for a minute, eyeing you suspiciously before closing the canopy and climbing down the ladders. Once you make sure he moves the ladder and gets to the holo-computers to monitor you from there, you start the simple procedures, like starting the fighter and lifting off. That part was easy, you knew how to do that, it was just the rest of it that you weren’t so sure of before and perhaps even now, Poe had been teaching you, but you still felt uncertain.

That feeling of uncertainty didn’t last long as you flew up in the sky, of course at first you were nervous but knowing Poe was guiding, and looking out for you helped and well his voice was soothing over the coms. The flight however was everything you had hoped for and more—even if you weren’t shooting down any TIE-fighters. However the feeling of the rush made your adrenaline pump. And for that short amount of time you were doing barrels in the sky it made you forget everything bad in your life, no Kylo, First order, Knights of Ren or forgotten memories, it was all simply forgotten, it was therapeutic to be flying so fast and so high in the sky. For that time you were truly happy.

Once you finished flying and successfully landed back on the ground, you still had a wide happy grin, you still felt the adrenaline pump in your blood, it felt like you could do anything in that moment.

“How was that?!” Poe asked almost or even more excited than you were.

You didn’t even know how to respond, all you did was let out a small giggle as you rushed to capture him in a tight hug. He was caught off guard by your actions, letting out a small ‘oof’ at the impact, but quickly recovering to return the hug and pulling you closer to him. In that moment for him, he forgot what he had seen and let the feelings he felt for you seep through with the embrace, he let the wanting he felt slip, and the urge to kiss you increase like never before.

“It felt. I-I don’t even know.” You stammered, only pulling away far enough to cup his cheeks, “it felt..”

“Freeing.”

You grinned wider and quickly interjected “Exactly! That and much more. I can still feel the adrenaline in my body. I feel like I can do anything.”. Poe moved one of his hands to wrap around your wrist, while he moved the other one to cup your cheek. The smile he carried never left his lips as he saw how excited and happy you were, the happiest he’s ever seen you. “Thank you for that moment, Poe.” You let out softly.

His smile widened and in that moment just like you he felt like he could do anything, and he did. His eyes flickered down to your lips before he leaned in to finally kiss you. The kiss was sweet, gentle and too quick as he pulled away. You stared up at him surprised and speechless, much like he felt. Quickly he parted his lips to let out an apology, but before he could you pulled him in for another kiss. He seemed to be surprised by your actions at first, but he quickly got over it and deepened the kiss, adding more passion, and desire into it while still remaining sweet in every way.

You felt him smile into the kiss, and you felt bad for comparing the kiss between Rey and him, but his was more dominating, he knew what he was doing and he showed it. The kiss with Poe was sweet and gentle but felt rough and passionate all in the same while. You only parted away to catch your breath, resting your forehead on his. He smiled and began to stroke your cheek with his thumb, as you were going to lean in again, he quickly pulled away and his smile dropped as he carefully took a couple steps back.

You stared at him concerned and confused, “Wh-what’s wrong?”

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, licking his lips as he pulled his eyes to you, “this shouldn’t have happened, I’m sorry.”

You parted your lips in disbelief, furrowing your eyebrows as you tried to figure out why he fel—oh, Rey, right.

“Uhm, I’m just going to leave.” He quickly turned around to storm away, leaving no room for you to talk back. So, quickly you rushed to go after him, grabbing him by his arm to turn him around; “I told you y/n, it was a mistake, just a heat of the moment thing, okay?”

You pull your head back, “heat of the moment?”

He pulled his arm away and placed his hands on his hips, “What do you want me to say? I saw Rey and you kissing, it’s obvious you like her and you two have something going on and I don’t want to get in the way.” He tried to storm away again, but you caught him in time.

“Poe I like you too.” It was sudden and not like how you wanted to let it out, but you did and now it was too late to take it back. By the look on his face he didn’t expect it either, he didn’t know how to process it, all he did was part his lips and keep his eyes on you, searching for any sign of a joke, but it wasn’t and you let him know that, “I wouldn’t have kissed you back if I didn’t. And I know it’s confusing and difficult for you to process that, but it’s the same thing for me, you know. I barely understand what I feel for one person and two? I-I just don’t know, this is all so new to me, I’ve liked people before, but never really done anything about it, not with Kylo scaring them away, but now that I can truly be with someone, I happen to like two—”

Poe interrupted your rambling, “Shh.”

“Excuse me?” Before you could express anything else, again he pulled you in for a kiss, this one more rougher than the other one. Instead of pulling away you gave into the kiss, and wrapped your arms around his neck, while he wrapped his around your waist to pull you in closer. The kiss felt amazing, you two moved in sync and when he moved you back so your back could hit a tree the kiss felt even more passionate, it felt euphoric. With one hand he gripped onto your waist, while the other one slowly traveled further down your leg.

The feeling of his body so closely pressed to yours, his earthy smell, the feeling of his lips never parting from yours and his hand just traveling down your thigh made a warm feeling began to build in between your legs. You couldn’t deny and say you didn’t feel that way for him, because you did in multiple occasions. And what you didn’t know was that he felt the same feeling of lust since you met. And yes it’s bad admitting such a sinful thought but he couldn’t deny it.

Finally his hand stops on the back of your knee, pulling it up so you could wrap it around his waist. He then pulled away from the kiss, only for his kisses to travel down to your neck. You gripped onto the curls on the back of his head and said his name to stop him, but it came out more of a soft moan, “Poe—Poe, stop. I-I’ve never done this b-before.”

Poe broke away, letting you see the small beads of sweat on his forehead, his mouth was slightly open and he was trying to find the right words to say while he also caught his breath.

“Not here.” You spoke softly, flustered by what you had admitted, you thought he was going to laugh or walk away, but he didn’t, he showed a assuring smile and caressed your cheek.

“You don’t have to, we can stop.”

You thought for a moment, it was something you wanted to do, especially with him...so you did. “No-no I want to, just not here. Not in the middle of the jungle...at least not right now.”

He showed a cheeky smile and moved his hand to grab yours, “okay, I know somewhere where it will be just you and me, come on.”

—

“Where was I when you destroyed Star Killer base?” You gnawed on your bottom lip and thought until finally coming up with the upsetting answer, “I was on a mission with the Knights. Missed all the fun didn’t I?” You smile sadly at a thought, “you would have seen me if I was there, I was still blindly loyal to Kylo, and I’m afraid you wouldn’t have liked me then.”

Even if you couldn’t see Poe, you knew he was smirking. “Are you sure about that? One look at you and I would be a rambling mess. You are incredibly beautiful Hon. I wouldn’t be able to resist you.” He said with the usual amount of cockiness, as he continued to trace small circles on your exposed back, his legs entwined with yours.

“Shut up.” You smiled brightly. “You know I would have loved to meet you before, I heard you were imprisoned by the First Order.”

“Would you have interrogated me?”

“Uhmm, most likely. Now that’s something I would have loved to do. You’re a very talkative person when you know the right ways to make you talk.”

Poe let out a small chuckle, before he relaxed again, your head rising up slowly and coming down on his chest at the movement of his slow and calm breathing. Neither of you talked for a moment, but you were left in a comfortable silence, just listening and feeling the way his heart gently thumped under your cheek, simply just enjoying each other’s presence “You’re not going back...to the first order, are you?” He asked breaking the silence.

You lift your head to meet his eyes, a small frown replacing your smile, “no. I don’t want to go back there, I wouldn’t.”

He began to stroke your cheek, before placing a soft kiss on your lips, “good, I like you here.” On his bed and with him, that’s what he wanted to add, but he didn’t.

You were happy here, with Poe and with...Rey. You wouldn’t go back, even if the thought had crossed your mind, you wouldn’t. You could never go back to Kylo, not with what he did, as much as at times you felt like he was the only one you had and that could help. It would prove a point to him, one you didn’t wish to prove right, one you needed to solve on your own. That’s why you could never go back. As much as he pleaded. You wouldn’t. Never.

—

You had deliberately been avoiding Rey and planned to do it for the rest of the day. It’s not that you didn’t want to see her, because you did, it was just after the night Poe and you shared, you didn’t know if Rey knew and you didn’t want her to know, you just didn’t want to deal with having to explain what you felt for both her and Poe. You had already somewhat explained it to Poe and it was difficult as it was, you didn’t wish to explain something you couldn’t even understand yourself.

The only thing you knew was the repeating question, why? Why like two people at the same time? Perhaps it was true that your feelings for Poe were evolving into something more. Not just after the intimate moment you both shared, or the fact that he was incredibly attractive, but the fact that he could make you forget about your broken past, the first order and the family name you still had no memory of. Poe made you forget and it felt great, with him you weren’t looking for someone you couldn’t remember, and well he also shared the same liking for danger and adrenaline.

And Rey. Well Rey, she understood you in ways Poe couldn’t, Rey and you shared a similar past, shared the same connection with the force. She wasn’t afraid of who you were when you first met, she wasn’t afraid of the person you were with the mask. Rey knew your lack to retain control and emotions and she knew how to help like Kylo could. Rey and you shared a bond, a bond you liked. That’s where it was hard, the fact that at one point you needed to tell either of them the answer they were going to seek. You didn’t want to play with either of them, you were going to have to choose. It’s not that you could be with both at the same time...could you?

Whatever you were going to decide, whatever you were going to come up with to say to both of them in the meantime, you couldn’t avoid Rey forever...just for today though—The sudden tap on your shoulder, made your shoulders jump and for you to grab onto your chest as you swore your heart was going jump out at the sudden interruption; “Who are we hiding from?” You turn back to meet the voice of General Organa, a sweet smile on her face as she followed your line of sight to see Rey; “she’s been asking for you all morning, you know.”

You huff and turn your back to Rey’s retreating figure. “Yeah well she’s the person I’m hiding from, so,”. General Organa lets out a light chuckle, taking a seat on a crate across from you. You shoot her a pointed look, finding this situation anything but amusing, “If you shared feelings for two people what would have you done?” You eventually ask.

She rests both hands on her cane before answering your question, “when I was your age I didn’t have the luck of liking two people at the same time. In fact it was later on that I gave into my own feelings for Han, I was too stubborn to admit them before. But it was the best choice I did, admit them to him.” She pauses and a sad frown replaces the gentle smile she had before; “you’re going to have to talk to them both, tell them how you feel. They’ll both understand. Poe might be more difficult to talk too, but Rey is kind she’ll understand more than you know.”

You nod silently, humming lightly as a response, your mind focusing on another subject now rather than your own. You had known of General Organa’s partner, Han Solo, father of Ben Solo and man that Kylo killed. Kylo had killed his own father; you remembered the day you had seen Kylo, days after the destruction of Star killer base and the battle at Crait. Even if Kylo was the new Supreme Leader he was not present amongst the ship and his people, he was in his private quarters, isolated in the dark, new scars and bruises sporting on his face that weren’t there before, a sad and guilty look in his eyes that he couldn’t hide, at least not from you, and well the emotions he projected he had a difficult time hiding.

Of course you had known what had happened before you even arrived back to the First Order, you had heard beforehand what Kylo had done to his own father—or Ben Solo’s father. That’s what got you prepared on how to approach him, you didn’t ask questions, just provided a distant comfort, avoiding the situation to avoid the worst. But now that you thought of it, now that you saw the perspective from General Organa, you weren’t sure why she chose to forgive Kylo/Ben for what he did. He killed the man she loved and she forgave Kylo for that, she still holds hope for her son to return. You weren’t sure how she forgave him, but she did. She did. Could you?

The change of subject was evident to General Organa, without you having to say anything, she had seen it on your face and the energy, emotions you failed at hiding. She knew the question you were going to ask before you could, which is why she knew who you were referring too when you did ask, “how..how could you forgive him? After what he did, how could you forgive him?”

She sat in silence for a moment, before she offered a warm assuring look, “because I know my son is still there. Because I love him. He didn’t fall to the dark side on purpose, he was lied too, tricked by the same person that tricked you into it. I still hold hope for Ben, and I always will,” she paused and took in a shaky breath, “you can’t hate someone you loved for so long. You might try, you might want to find any excuse, try to remind yourself that what he did was wrong to get you to hate him, but you know in your heart what your decision is. The choice you already know even if you don’t want to admit it to yourself. I might not know a lot about the relationship you have with my son, but I know it’s a special one. He might have done horrible things but forgivness is better than a grudge. Because what you do on behalf of revenge is something you will later and always regret.”

You’re left speechless and with millions of thoughts running wildly in your mind, but also with no motivation to continue with said subject, not if you wish to end up in tears and your emotions out of control. She knew that and didn’t press on, General Organa was great that way, she knew what to ask and what not to ask. Even in your short time since you’ve been at base, she didn’t push questions you knew she wanted to ask about her son. You only gave her a small taste of what he was like, at times when she would find you alone and conflicted, it would ease you and her talking about the good memories you had of her son.

“Just know this, y/n,” her tone in voice had changed, and she no longer carried her frown, instead she carried a knowing smile, “never love anybody who treats you like you’re ordinary.”

You smile warmly and nod, “I will keep that in mind.” General Organa struggles as she stands on her feet once again, but once she does she extends her arm so you could walk with her, you accept her offer, entwining your arm around her elbow.

“You do have to talk to Rey eventually you know.”

“Oh, trust me I know, we have that mission to get the fighter ships from the First Order soon, I have to talk to her sooner or later. For now though it’s later.” You explain still with a sort of uncertainty.

“Just thought I’d remind you.”

—

“We have the chip to get in, the only problem is us, they’ll recognize us, they’ll recognize you.” Finn points to you as he, Poe, Rey, and you go over the plan to steal, or more precisely take back old rebel fighter ships the first order had stored away in a planet infested by them. It was going to be a very high risked mission, but one you needed to do, one you promised to do.

You sit up straighter in your chair still old habits sticking through as you took a minute to think of an idea. This setting of sitting around a briefing table was one you were used too, waiting and going over plans for missions, except here you weren’t surrounded by boring old people that were afraid of every movement Kylo or you would do. Here they respected and listened to your ideas, surprisingly much like over there except at the first order it was most likely because of that same fear, they respected you because you were their superior and at points they seemed to respect you more than they did Kylo.

As an idea finally pops in your head you lean in closer to the briefing table and share what you had thought of, “they won’t recognize us if we blend in. Dress up like stormtroopers.”

Finn nods with a smile on his face, “that could work, maybe you could even go as you. Uhm you know The Child of Ren? Their youngest and most feared commander.” Finn suggests making you frown.

“What about Kylo? They see her there and they will let him know. Especially if he has put her on high alert.” Rey says.

“No, he hasn’t,” You breath, “the most likely thing he has told them is that I’m on some mission.” And that was because he wanted you back, he expected your return, which is why he hadn’t told them that you left with no promise of a return.

“If you’re not comfortable doing that, you don’t have to do it.” Poe directs to you.

You sigh deeply, “it would be easier. They won’t say anything with the right excuse. He won’t know until we’re out, not if everything goes right, that means no distractions. We do what we go there to do and leave.”

“The only thing now is how do we get the uniforms? How many?” Finn questions.

“Do we all have to wear those? I mean can we wear something else?” Poe asks with an uncertainness that you found amusing.

“Yes Poe we all have to wear them. We have to blend in.” Finn retorted before turning his eyes back to you, “do you have any hidden in your ship y/n?”

You tilt your head to the side and press your lips together, “yes Finn, I happened to snatch trooper uniforms before I ran away from home,” You answered sarcastically making Rey giggle, “no. No you see I was busy stealing crates of weapons instead.”

“I was just asking, a simple no could’ve been fine.” He quipped.

A smile makes it past your lips before you focus on the matter on hand again, “those are easy to get, just find some on our way there.” You turn to Poe with a more mischievous smile, “you know Poe, you don’t have to wear a trooper uniform.” He quirks his eyebrow unsure of what you’re trying to get at, “you can wear an officer uniform, those all black ones, you’ll blend in that way too. I think it’ll suit you more.” You bite your bottom lip as you keep your eyes on Poe, missing the way Rey looked at Poe and you, missing the way she had caught on to what was going between him and you, something more than platonic and she couldn’t help but feel jealous.

Poe smirks as he finally caught on to what you were suggesting, “You’re in charge hon, we’re all following you. Whatever you say goes.”

Finn wanted to argue against your suggestion regarding Poe, but once he noticed the hidden flirtatious context behind it, he instead remained quiet.

“I won’t be joining.” Rey interjected, getting your attention back to her.

“W-why?”

“I’m not ready to go out just yet.”

“But I mean, we’re all going to be there, I am. If anything happens I’ll be there.” You try and explain.

Rey nods, “I’m not ready, but I’ll be here when you come back.”

You hum as a response, even if you’re unconvinced you don’t fight her on it.

“Okay then it looks like we have everything figured out, right? All we need is to actually do the mission.” Poe quickly said, standing up from his seat and purposely standing in between Rey and you to block your line of sight and snap your eyes back to him.

Finn agreed with Poe’s comment, “Yeah, exactly.”

They all disperse from the briefing table, while you stay to collect your thoughts on the whole high risk mission. There could be hundreds of things that could go wrong but you couldn’t risk nothing going wrong, not one single thing. The ships were too important, the people you were going to go with were too important. Perhaps you did problems here at base, involving two specific people you liked, but those were problems you could somewhat deal with and were definitely going to deal with once you got back from the mission.

Right now you could possibly just ease the situation better with Rey, talk to her like you said the day before, hope that she wouldn’t know of Poe and you. Not yet anyway. With that in mind, you go in search for her to only find her and Poe, arguing? You stand by Finn as he watches them with a disapproving look.

“What’s going on? What are they arguing about?” You ask curiously.

“You.” He jokes, only you didn’t think it was at all funny, he clears his throat, “no-no, uhm I don’t know, but you know how they are.”

“Hmm.” You take a step forward to stop them, but instead you stay put and shrug, not wanting to deal with them arguing or having it turn into something bigger. Instead you turn to face Finn, “want to grab some lunch?”

Finn looks back at his friends and decides the same thing as you, “yeah, sure.”

“This mission is going to work, right? We need it to work.”

He shifts his eyes to you, not expecting you to ask such a question to him, not when you had Poe or Rey. Either way he tries to reassure you in the best way he could, in the way his friend Poe would. “It’s going to work, we’re going to get those fighter ships.”

“So optimistic.”

“Learned from the best.” Finn laughs.

You chuckle lightly and nod, “you’re right though. This is going to work. It’s all going to go fine.”

A/N- Are we going to get a taste of first order Poe in the next chapter?! Yes, yes we are! Anyway you know our mans Poe had to step it up, he sees reader and Rey kissing, well he can do better, lmao. Anyway you know what would be funny...if reader got pregnant haha...jk it can’t happen...unless, let me know your thoughts on that. Ahah. I mean yeah reader hasn’t chosen who she wants to be with, or you know if she wants to be with both, but It can still happen...Idk, idk.

Tagged- @jennibradley , @xxrouge-lexxx , @daniellajocelyn , @tweedlydumbtweedlydoo , @star-marvel-fangirl , @leilei-draws , @briesangel @lanatheawesome , @madamepsicose, @constantdisgrace , @1-800-depressedlesbian, @commondazy , @logiclies , @robindoesntloveme , @we-all-are-strange , @fandom-addict-aesthetics , @seninjakitey , @sarablog10 , @natalia-helena-alianova-romanov

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bigdaddib · 4 years

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Promise pt.4 (final)

They went bowling, which Arya thought was an interesting choice, considering how competitive she got. Although, Sansa probably knew there wasn’t the same amount of passion within her sister than usual. Arya wasn’t invested enough, she had yet to start caring about the little things again, so it was safe to take them bowling on the first date. Maybe it would light some of that spark back in her.

It started to work. With each spare and each strike Arya’s smile got wider and more smug, especially since Pod was working around a slight tremor he got each time Arya looked him directly in the eyes.

Arya admitted it felt good, having the power back. She started to cheer when she would pull ahead, laugh when Pod got gutter balls, and pouted when Sansa started to catch up.

“Lucky throw,” she mumbled as Sansa flipped her hair obnoxiously.

“I seem to have a lot of those,” Sansa twittered back in a sing song voice. “You guys go ahead, I’m gonna go get some drinks.”

Arya watched her head back to the bar when her eyes collided with a dark blue gaze.

Gendry was sitting with Hot Pie, eating a pizza. Hot pie waved nervously and Gendry only stared. All Arya managed was a quick nod, holding her breath as she quickly turned away to watch Pod take his turn. He managed to get about half the pins down before turning to her with a nervous smile. She clapped for him halfheartedly.

“Aren’t they your friends?” He asked, gesturing to Gendry and Hot Pie. Arya sighed heavily. “Cause we can invite them over, I don’t mind.”

“No,” Arya started, “That’s—”

Pod had already begun gesturing them over, each wave of his hand sinking her lower and lower into her seat. This was the absolute worst thing that could’ve happened in this moment. Nothing would’ve been worse than this, nothing at all. Her slipping and breaking her neck with a bowling ball would’ve been more easily dealt with than Gendry walking over in the middle of her sort of date.

“Hey,” Hot Pie was the first to speak when they all came together.

Arya chewed at her lip angrily. “It’s my turn,” was her greeting, and she stomped her way onto her two feet and went for the bowling balls. Sansa returned after she rolled and quickly took Arya by the elbow.

“What the fuck?” Sansa hissed.

“Don’t fucking look at me, Pod invited them over not me,” she grumbled, looking anywhere but at Gendry. Especially since she could feel him looking at her. Staring, was the right word for it, looking no where else but at her. Which was curious behavior for someone who had never minded her.

“Well, this undermines the whole bloody purpose of Pod, doesn’t it?”

Arya tilted her head to the side, “Oh, I don’t know, maybe he could still manage to make me forget all about the man sitting directly across from me. He did, after all, rock those strippers’ world,”

Sansa hit Arya’s shoulder through a giggle. Arya almost frowned, she hadn’t really meant that as a joke, but she supposed it had landed as one.

“Okay,” she straightened her face out. “You have to try and remain calm. Do not offer Gendry any attention unless he asks you a question directly, okay? No getting angry, no getting defensive—”

“I do not get defensive!” Arya interrupted angrily.

“Perfect example, none of that behavior,”

Arya opened her mouth to protest again but was silenced by Sansa’s look.

“Act like nothings bothering you, you’re simply here on a date and that’s the only thing on your mind, okay?”

“Yeah, fine, okay,” Arya could imagine yelling at Gendry now. Shoving her pointer finger into the middle of his chest, watching his face get red and his eyes darken. The redder her got, usually the more right she was, or at least, that’s why she liked to think he got so red.

They walked back into what felt like a very awkward and very tense atmosphere, and Arya hadn’t even been there to contribute to it yet. Sansa immediately eased the air.

“Should we add you two in, then?” she asked cheerfully.

Arya had to hold her breath as she smiled at both Hot Pie and Gendry individually. Hot Pie looked put at ease right away, Gendry did not. The only response she got out of him was a severely clenched jaw which made it near impossible to not roll her eyes in most obvious way possible. Instead, she managed to simply look away and take a seat beside Poderick. His shoulders slumped slightly and he gave her a relieved smile, obviously all the tension was focused directly on him, poor thing. But, he did bring this on himself, inviting them over and everything. This was all his bloody fault.

“We’ll just end this game here. Arya, you won,” Sansa folded a delicate, long leg under her as she began working on the game information.

Starting the new game, Arya wasn’t doing as well. She was tense in trying to be polite and unbothered when that was the exact opposite of how she felt. She was the most bothered person in the world, everything that was currently happening bothered her.

“Someone’s distracted,” Gendry had the nerve to comment.

It was at the tip of her tongue, the skin of her fingers, she could turn and yell her head off, wrap her hands around his thick neck and squeezed until he took it all back. Squeezed until they were back to the morning of that party where everything was okay. Where he was still a virgin, where they were about to go on a life changing trip together, back when everything was about to change for the better, not the absolute worse. She managed not to though, she managed to only shrug and laugh it off, as robotic as it came across, she did it.

Gendry was fucking winning, which was fine, it didn’t meant anything to her. She could handle it without getting angry… and defensive…

But why did he have to fucking look at her after each of his numerous strikes? Why did he have to be all smug and handsome, as though he knew what was going on in her mind. He didn’t, he didn’t know her, just like she didn’t know him. Not really. She could keep secrets just as well as he could, she could keep it to herself that she couldn’t help but stare at his ass when he let the ball go. His shoulder blades, the flex in his arms…he didn’t know she was thinking any of that. All he knew was that she didn’t like he that he beating her. It felt good to have something to herself for once, a secret he didn’t have access to. It was almost therapeutic. Or, it would’ve been if it was something like fucking Jaqen at that dance camp, something that would destroy him just like this party had destroyed her.

Yes. She had fucked Jaqen at that camp. After dancing eight hours a day with only slight breaks for food and stretches, she snuck into the teacher’s cabin, crawled under those stiff camp blankets, and had him make an honest woman out of her. It would kill Gendry to know that, he wouldn’t be able to look her in the eyes for months, maybe never again, and in that moment it was worth it. To just get him back, to show him how it felt, to show him how it felt.

She bit her lip so she wouldn’t yell that very story in the middle of the bowling alley after his fifth strike. “Glad that strike makes you so happy Gendry, because Jaqen sure was when he knocked all my pins down!” or something like that, she wasn’t always the most clever when she got this angry.

If he had believed she was as calm as she was pretending to be, maybe she would’ve gotten away with it. If he didn’t know her as well as he did, if he didn’t know exactly what he was doing and the exact way to do it, she would’ve gotten through the date and maybe even give Pod a peck on the cheek by the end of the night. That thought alone was driving her to ignore him, because she knew him just as well as he knew her, and that would’ve driven him just as crazy as he was making her. Not as crazy as her claiming to have fucked Jaqen, but a close second. If he would just stop picking at her.

“You want me to bowl for you, Arya? Catch you up a bit?”

“Alright, I’ll take it easy on you. I am a gentleman, after all.”

“If you need a break we can take ten. Get you a drink or something, you tired?”

Eventually, that peck on the cheek at the end up the night seemed almost worthless, not when she could just relieve all her attention right there.

“Can you shut the fuck up?!” she shouted after her third split of the night. “No one thinks you’re fucking funny!”

Gendry was biting at his bottom lip to keep from smiling. She didn’t know what everyone else was doing, she wasn’t paying attention. She was focused entirely on Gendry, yet again. “I think I’m funny,” he said casually, as through this was a normal conversation to have. Which only spurred her on further.

“You don’t fucking count,” was all she could say through the thick anger cloud in her brain.

“Something bothering you, Horesface?” he asked, arms crossed over his chest, leaning back into the bench, eyebrow raised. She was standing, but that only made it easier to shove harshly at his chest.

“Get the fuck out Gendry! Get the fuck away from me! What are you even fucking doing here?!”

“Your date invited me.”

“What’s your fucking goal Gendry? What is it that you want to happen right now? You’re the one who never minded me! You’re the one broke off—”

“Me!? I’m the one who—”

“Yes, that’s what I fucking said!” she interrupted before he could delve further in.

“You’re the won who called off the road trip! You’re the one who was too selfish to—”

“So what the fuck are you doing here Gendry?! Why are you making this so difficult for me—”

“Because I can, I guess. Because I have nothing better to do these days. You, on the other hand, seem to be having a hell of a time. First date, is it? Or have you been going at it for the past month?” he stood up finally, trying to use his height to intimidate her, but nothing intimidated her, especially when she was seeing red.

“You bet. This has been the best month of my life. Really, I’ve been going to so many parties, getting so fucking drunk. I’ve been fucking so many dudes on so many front lawns, you wouldn’t even believe.”

“You’re not funny Arya,”

“I’m not joking Gendry. Any guy that’ll have me, and you were right, once you’re out of the picture they’ve come in herds. Just ask Sansa, they can’t get enough.”

Gendry exhaled sharply through his nose, biting his lip as he looked away from her. “Don’t lie to me Arya,”

“Oh, so you can lie but I can’t?”

“I didn’t lie—”

“The whole fucking thing was a lie! I was never your friend I was a fucking obligation! I was a chore you had to deal with everyday—”

“You’re still on that shit?! That whole list was supposed to show you I had needed you just as much as you needed me, or did that just go in one ear and out the other, just like every other thing I fucking say to you does?!”

As ironic as it was, Arya didn’t fully process his words at that moment. All she did process was he had made a valid point against her and she needed to even the score as best as she could. “Well, when nothing you say apparently means anything, than yeah, I guess I don’t pay close attention.”

“I didn’t tell you—”

“Yeah, I got it, cause you were sensitive and ashamed and you have daddy issues and I should feel bad for you because of that, even though you’ve been keeping this secret for fucking months and if you’ve kept a secret like that from me, what else have you been keeping—”

“What about you Arya? You really tell my everything about everything?! There’s nothing you kept from me because you just didn’t feel like sharing,”

Arya looked to the ceiling, put a finger to her chin, “Hmmm, let me think…there was, oh yeah and then there…oh but there was this other…oh yeah! I fucked Jaqen!” And with one final shove to his chest she left that fucking bowling place with no intention on ever coming back.

It was that night when she went to her room and found Gendry there first. The second she walked in he hopped onto both feet and advanced toward her determinedly. “Tell me you were lying.”

“About what?” Arya asked casually, pulling out the chair tucked into her desk and taking a seat.

“Stop, Arya. I really can’t take anymore of this, just tell me you were lying, please,” he knelt in front of her, forcing their eyes to meet. Arya stayed quiet, wondering if she was still angry enough to milk it, or if she was allowing his eyes to break her down completely. Gendry spoke again before she made her decision. “You couldn’t have, you promised.”

“You mean the promises you took back?” Arya clarified.

Gendry’s jaw clenched and suddenly he was clutching at both her knees desperately. “Arya, please. Even if you weren’t lying just tell me you were or I don’t think…I won’t…” he couldn’t finish the sentence, shutting his eyes as far as the could go and his grip Arya had already thought was as tight as it could get, hardened.

Then her decision was made. She had gone too far, yet again, and she knew she would. She knew what this would do to him and she did because it was the worst possible thing she could say to him. She wanted to watch it destroy him. What she had forgotten was watching it destroy him would also destroy her.

“I was lying,” she said immediately, reaching out and tucking his head right under her chin, combing her fingers through his hair. He accepted this gratefully, his shoulders drooping and arms becoming soft as they encircled her waist. “I’m sorry,” she whispered,

He shook his head. “I’m sorry,” he was talking directly into her sternum and she felt his voice vibrate all throughout the inside of her chest. “I should’ve told you, I know…I just…I…” Arya gave him the time he needed to properly think of what he wanted to say. “I spent the last three years keeping that promise purposely. I wanted to keep it, I wanted it to be you, I knew that. Going into that party, I never even considered that I might…it wasn’t an option. And for me to just…for it all to be over just like that…it wasn’t fair Arya. I didn’t want it to be true, I wanted it to be you. It kills me that it wasn’t,”

Arya didn’t say anything for a while, she only held him and processed all of his words. Everything he’d said to her, starting from the bowling alley and going all the way back to the very first day they had met, and she thought I am so stupid. Obviously, he always needed her. Everything he did was to ensure she’d stay next to him, never leave him, and that’s why he kept this secret. Because he was scared she would get mad and never talk to him again, which is almost exactly what she did.

“Gendry, I love you. I’ll always love you, no matter what you do,”

“Except keep secrets,”

Arya rolled her eyes, “It just…it hurt that you didn’t think you could come to me with these things. I thought that you could talk to me about anything, and when it turned out you couldn’t I just…” she paused, going to his shoulders and again finding he was kneeling between her legs. She hooked her ankles around his torso to bring him closer. “I’m sorry I confirmed all the reasons you had for not telling me.”

“…so you really weren’t just mad because I had sex with someone else?”

Arya laughed and his arms tightened around her. “Well…”

“Well?”

“That may have been…a teeny tiny part of it.”

“Hmmmm,” he said into her chest causing Arya to bite her lip. “I missed you,” he murmured.

Arya hugged him as tight as she could, “I missed you,”

“That was scary.”

Arya only nodded.

“Promise to never fight like that again?”

“Give me your pinky,”

“We could seal it another way…”

“Hm? What did you have in mind?”

Gendry straightened up and with Arya sitting and Gendry kneeling, he was only slightly taller than her now, making her eye to eye to with his mouth. He had the perfect lips, big enough, pink enough, a perfectly indented cupids bow, framed deliciously with the perfect amount of black scruff. Arya was sure he was the most beautiful thing that’s ever been made. And here he was, wrapped around her, between her legs, looking back down at her own lips, dark blue eyes darkening further…

Then his finger lifted her chin and there was no breath in her lungs and no thoughts in her head that weren’t centered on his lips. Especially when he carefully parted them through her own, her top lip nestled snugly between both of his until his head tilted and suddenly his top lip was between both of hers…then her mouth opened and he…

Nothing has ever felt like this. Nothing has caused so much release as it built up so much tension…nothing made her so warm yet cause such a violent shiver all through out her body…nothing has ever felt so overwhelming yet so perfectly natural all at once, as this did. Nothing has ever felt like Gendry. Just as she thought she was sort of used to it, just as she thought she knew what to expect, his hands moved or his lips went down her neck and she was feeling everything all over again. She was almost unaware when he gripped her by the thighs to pick her up and bring her to the bed, but she was fully aware pulling his shirt from his torso and letting him do the same to her. She was perfectly away of their bare chests pressed hotly together as his mouth ran up and down her neck then her shoulder and then…

When it was all over she was tucked securely into the curve of his neck, bare thigh thrown over his bare hips, running her hand up and down his chest as his ran up and down her back. “So, that’s how we’re going to seal promises from now on, then?” she asked.

“That’s exactly how we’re going to seal promises from now on,” Gendry confirmed.

#arya x gendry #gendrya #gendryaau #gendrya ff #Arya Stark #Gendry Waters #gendrya fanfiction #pt.4 #gendryafluff #gendryaseries #friends to lovers

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secondhandnewsradio · 3 years

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SHN INTERVIEW: tinyumbrellas

by Claire Silverman

tinyumbrellas (aka DT) is a 17 year old singer-songwriter from the UK who has recently released her first single ‘Stardust’ onto Spotify.

CS: Hi DT, it’s so great to chat with you! I’ve actually been following you on Instagram for a couple of years now, when you started posting covers on Soundcloud. Now you’ve released your first original song on Spotify, Stardust. What was that like?

DT: Thanks for having me!! It's been really great to finally release music onto Spotify, as even though it’s something I wanted to do, I didn’t really see it as something that I could actually achieve this year! It’s been so nice to get something out into the world via a different platform after using soundcloud for so long.

CS: What prompted you to write Stardust? What made you choose that as your first single?

DT: I started writing my own songs about two years ago, just for fun. I started writing as a kind of therapeutic thing, like journaling but musically!! As part of a project for school this year (along with my A level subjects) I chose to write a bunch of songs, and Stardust was one of them, I think the inspiration really came from having such a big change this year as I had just left secondary school and started the next chapter of my life, meeting new people and experiencing new things, I wanted to write about the simple things and memories that are so precious just because of who they’re made with. I ended up quite liking this song, and after playing it to my friends they really encouraged me to share it, and as it was something i wanted to do too (even though it was very scary!!) I went for it!!

CS: What was the reception of your first single like? Were you nervous releasing it? Do you have a fun story of the first time you heard yourself on radio? I’ve loved playing Stardust on the SHN live shows this semester.

DT: Awh thank you so much!! It’s so crazy to know that Stardust has been played on the radio so far away from where I am!! The first time being on the radio for me I think was when you played one of my songs from soundcloud, I was shocked but very excited to think that someone chose my own song for their radio station!! Yes, I was so scared to release it, but also incredibly excited. I didn’t know what to expect at all, I just wanted to share it in any way I could. I submitted the song to my local radio station not expecting much, but they played it live which was absolutely incredible!! It made me so excited, and a few weeks later they asked to interview me on the radio too which was really fun, something I never thought I’d be doing!!

CS: I love the cover art for Stardust. Did you make it yourself?

DT: Thank you so much! Yeah I did, I was actually inspired a lot by @demiiwhiffin and her art for Orla Gartland’s music. I really liked the idea of collaging and thought it matched the homemade vibes of the music too.

CS: What’s been your favorite song to cover, either on Instagram or Soundcloud?

DT: Ooh that’s a good question. I think they’re all so fun in their own ways, due to how different they all are. Being able to create a cover in my own style is really interesting too. I think “Dancing in the Moonlight” was especially fun just because it was a collaborative effort with a friend, and also because we used kazoos!!

CS: Oh yes, I loved that one!

DT: Thanks!!

CS: Who are your music inspirations?

DT: I have so many ahhhhh!!! I have to give a special mention to dodie, as I think she really inspired me to start writing music and picking up the ukulele. I adore Cavetown’s songwriting and the softness of the sounds he creates. beabadoobee and chloe moriondo are just awesome artists. I really love just how cool their music is, I think that’s the only way to describe it. Eloise and Charlie Burg have been the artists that have been most influential to me recently, I just love how their music makes me feel most of all.

CS: Would you ever want to collaborate with any of them? (just put it out into the universe now!)

DT: I would jump at the first chance I get!!!! Absolutely, though I’m sure the chances are very slim hahahhh.

CS: Has your relationship with music changed at all since you started writing and releasing your own songs?

DT: Ooh I’ve definitely become a lot more appreciative of music. Learning more about production and songwriting has just made me have so much respect for the people that do this as their jobs, it’s incredible! For me, it’s really become part of who I am, being able to connect with music how I do now is a lot different to what it was like before, it’s also how I express myself too by songwriting instead of just driving myself insane with thoughts.

CS: You play ukulele and guitar (and the kazoo of course), are there any other instruments you’d like to learn?

DT: Hahahhh yesssss!!! I would really love to learn drums because they add so much to a song and I just wanna know how they work, also people just look so cool when they play drums! Playing piano too would be really awesome, I wish I had learnt it when I was younger.

CS: How did you choose the name tinyumbrellas?

DT: It was a random decision really. I started this Instagram page (@tinyumbrellahs) before I knew I wanted to start sharing music on it, and tinyumbrellahs was a random name that didn’t have any connotations to my own name (I didn’t want people from school finding the account...). My mum was wearing a shirt that had patterns of tiny umbrellas on so I just thought okay that will do. When I actually started releasing music I thought about changing the name but I didn’t want to use my own name and I couldn’t think of anything else so I just stuck with it.

CS: What do you do outside of music?

DT: I'm at school at the moment studying for my A levels, that takes up a lot of my time. I also dance which is really fun!

CS: How do you balance school and music?

DT: I think I primarily focus on getting my schoolwork done, and make music when I have time as a reward because I know it’ll be fun. I never treat music as an obligation which I think works well for me because I never feel like I have to be working on something. I just make music when I want to and when I feel inspired (which ends up being a lot of the time!!) But having said that a lot of my music is made in procrastination from schoolwork.

CS: Do you have any new music coming in the future that you can tell us about?

DT: There’s no plans set in stone at the moment but I am working on some songs that I really want to share, so next year should hopefully be good for new music.

CS: What are your favorite songs at the moment?

DT: The ‘This Thing Called Living’ EP by Eloise has some of my favourite songs of all time so definitely that, ‘GIRL ON TV’ by chloe moriondo too, and ‘To Dance Is To Love’ by Charlie Burg!

CS: Thanks so much for spending the time to do this interview. I’m very excited to see what you do in the future! And good luck on your A levels!

DT: Thank you so much to you too!! It’s such a pleasure to have you reach out, thanks for playing my music on your show!!!

Follow DT:

Instagram: @tinyumbrellahs

Twitter: @tinyumbrellahs

Soundcloud: ☆ tinyumbrellas ☆

Youtube: tinyumbrellas

Spotify: tinyumbrellas

Originally published at @SHNradio on Instagram November 25, 2020

#second hand news #shn radio #shn interview #tinyumbrellas #stardust #signal #jam on neptune #demiiwhiffin #orla gartland #eloise #cavetown #charlie burg #chloe moriondo #beabadoobee

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ladyluck852 · 5 years

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Two’s Company (Minho x Reader)

A/N: I had the softest idea for a Minho fic so here it is fam💕

Genre: fluffy as heck

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings: some light curse words and mentions of reader’s dog passing away!

Summary: Y/n keeps finding Minho’s cats in her apartment after her dog passes away, and soon begins to find comfort in both the cats and their owner💕

Getting home after a long day of work meant that all y/n wanted to do was take a long bath and sleep, maybe eat some good food in between and then some mindless tv, anything to get her mind off of her feelings for a little bit. Her nose got stuffy just thinking about her problems, like her home wasn’t a clear reminder of her past and the things she’d lost so recently.

Y/n’s childhood dog had just passed away, and while she knew it would happen eventually, nothing could prepare her for all the pain and the loneliness she was now feeling. Coming home to an empty house was so draining, especially after a long day at work, she’d been trying to be extra nice to herself lately but nothing was working. She needed friends, or at least someone who could understand what she was going through.

When her stuffy nose got worse, y/n was dumbfounded as to what the problem could be, she’d been leaving the window open for this exact reason. She was stuffy every time she got home lately, and whenever she went to lay on the couch it made it worse and then she’d start crying. She dumped her things on the coffee table before going to sit on the couch, her eyes widening when she felt a bundle of fur underneath a pillow.

Two big green eyes stared up at her, she thought she was hallucinating until the orange cat let out a meow and climbed into her lap, “Hey, who are you?!” She gasped, 100% allergic to cats, and not knowing where it came from made it worse. What if it had fleas or some skin disease? The cat didn’t seem to mind her because it was nuzzling into her hand and purring up a storm, it didn’t even budge when she checked it’s collar.

The address on the cats collar was the apartment next door to hers, the female cat was named Soonie and most likely belonged to her neighbor. She’d never actually met him before, she’d seen him a few times in the elevator before work or one time at a restaurant with his friends, but she didn’t know much about him. She didn’t even know he had a cat, but that explained the noises she heard from his apartment in the middle of the night.

Minho was in the middle of stressing over his t shirt and tie, spending more time than he wanted at home when there was a knock on his front door. He didn’t know who would be knocking at this hour, especially when he had just paid his monthly rent a few days ago, but he went to open it anyways and saw the neighbor standing there. She was adorable and he always wished he had more guts to talk to her, but he didn’t and now he was confused.

“Uh hi, what- Soonie?!” The fact that he hadn’t noticed his cat in her arms made him feel a little dumb, he was stuck staring at his neighbor who was stuck staring at him. His cat didn’t even look happy to see him, happily nestled in her arms while the girl looked nervous.

“Hi, um I’m y/n, I just got home from work and this little lady was in my house” y/n laughed, handing the cat over to Minho who gasped, scolding the cat who meowed sadly.

“I’m so sorry, I hope she didn’t cause any trouble. Do you have any idea how she might have gotten in? Oh god did I leave the window open?” Minho groaned, rushing into the house with Soonie in his arms and finding his fire escape window wide open, he almost cursed out loud before remembering he had a guest.

“Yeah, my window was open too, I guess that’s how she got in” y/n laughed timidly, moving her shoe back and forth gently when a gray kitten started messing with her laces.

“I’m so sorry, I promise it won’t happen again. If she was any trouble just tell me, I’ll give her a stern talking to, they haven’t been happy with me ever since I got Dori here, they didn’t want a baby sibling,” Minho laughed, letting one cat go so he could pick up another, “Ah crap I’m late to work”

“I’ll get out of your hair, Soonie was no trouble, I’ll um...see you?” Y/n asked shyly, her embarrassment would make more sense if she was blatantly asking the guy out, but she was just saying goodbye. It just felt like a lot of commitment, especially when he was so handsome and really nice.

“Yeah, I’m Minho by the way” he laughed, leaning against the door with his best smile, all the years of working in a department store being put to work while y/n blushed hard.

“I’m y/n” she mumbled, backing up towards her own door and feeling like her legs would give out at any minute.

“I know...”

After y/n had made herself something to eat, she was attempting to enjoy it but still stuffy as hell, intent on vacuuming before sitting down with food because there was cat hair everywhere and she was dying. The distraction was nice, vacuuming every inch of her house was almost therapeutic until she saw a flash out of the corner of her eye and her vacuum was being attacked by a cat who looked like Soonie but definitely wasn’t.

“And who are you?!” She asked, not knowing where the hell all these cats were coming from. Minho had said ‘they’, so was this another cat of his? Y/n didn’t know when her house became the cat house, but she was also certain Minho had left to work and closed his window, so now she was stuck with a cat who was playing with the vacuum cord, “Come here”

Doongie looked evil but she was actually quite sweet, she sat right next to y/n while she ate her food and glared at the tv, following y/n around all night while she cleaned and never leaving her side. Doongie even attempted to get in the sink while y/n washed dishes, resulting in splashed water everywhere and paw prints on every surface. It made y/n laugh, she wasn’t even upset about the mess, just glad to have a companion.

It was nearly midnight when there was a knock on her door, Minho was there with his shirt unbuttoned and his tie halfway off, tired but stressed because he’d most likely put y/n in an uncomfortable situation, having to take care of his cat and all, “I’m so sorry”

Y/n was confused for a second, not knowing why Minho was apologizing until she heard a meow, almost like Doongie was asking who was at the door, “Oh no it’s okay, they can’t all be accounted for. Although this time I’m sure there’s no more cats in my house, she was no trouble at all, she’s very sweet”

“Were you a good girl Doongie?” Minho asked, reaching down to pick up the cat who just glared and hung from his hands, “please let me make it up to you?”

“Really Minho, it wasn’t a problem at all. I liked the company, you look pretty tired so I’ll let you get home, back to your girls. I’m sure they miss Doongie” y/n said softly, giving him a reassuring smile while his heart nearly melted. She was sweet, understanding, and she loved his cats? He’d ask where she’d been all this time but she was his neighbor, and she had been for about a year now.

“Thank you so much Y/n, you’re a saint. I’ll see you okay? Goodnight”

“Yeah, goodnight Minho, and goodnight Doongie” she cooed, reaching over to rub the top of the cats head, her purring starting up like a car engine while Minho couldn’t help but watch in awe. Not that his cats didn’t like people, but it normally took a few days to get acquainted with each other, they’d practically been living in her house with no cares at all so that was pretty surprising.

Once Minho got home all the cats came looking for food, and to see where Doongie had been, but Minho couldn’t help but give his two oldest a thumbs up for misbehaving. Without them it probably would have taken another year or so to talk to y/n, “you guys are the best”

“Oh... what are you doing here?” Y/n asked, her eyes bugging out of her head when she’d gotten home from work an hour late and found both Soonie and Doongie curled up on her couch. They both meowed excitedly when she got there, and they didn’t stop, most likely telling her about their day and all the little nooks and crannies of her house they’d explored. Not sure what to do, y/n just sat with them and waited until Minho came to get them, she didn’t want to bother him if he was busy, and holding two cats in the hallway seemed more dangerous than having them home with her.

The cats followed her around everywhere, being cute and wanting to smell everything, watching her clean with the biggest begging eyes ever. At the end of the day she’d boiled some chicken for them and chopped it up, putting it in the smallest bowls she had so they could enjoy a meal for being so good. Y/n had never wanted cats, because she was allergic, but now she realized the appeal. How despite her allergies wreaking havoc on her, the company of the cats was worth it.

Minho heard meowing from y/n’s apartment door when he got home from work, an hour late because he’d stopped to pick up food, but he was wondering if he was hearing things or just going crazy. Maybe both, maybe he wanted to talk to her so bad he’d come up with any excuse, even if they were neighbors and also acquaintances ever since his cats started using her house as a hideout.

He decided to take a chance and knock, even if the cats weren’t there he’d still say hello and maybe offer her some food. He highly doubted she’d want to eat so late, but it was the thought that counted, “oh, I knew you’d show up”

Minho was confused, she was so cheerful and he could have sworn that he’d heard her crying for three days straight before, he’d kind of put two and two together then, once he no longer saw or heard her dog. His cats definitely wouldn’t be in her house if she had a dog...

“Oh, really? Yeah I just came by to say hi, and ask if you wanted to um...eat some food with me? I bought a lot, I was going to film a mukbang but I don’t feel like being on camera” he laughed nervously, his cheeks turning pink while y/n couldn’t help but stare at him. So he didn’t come for his cats? He came for her. Her heart was probably racing so fast and loudly he could hear it, even Minho was surprised when she moved aside and let him in.

“Yeah, come in, I’m sure Soonie and Doongie have been missing you”

Minho stopped in his tracks, his eyes immediately zeroing in on the two cats who were curled up on her couch, barely paying him any attention, “oh my god, y/n I’m so sorry, I don’t know why they keep doing this. I’m going to leave my window closed from now on okay? I promise”

“It’s really no trouble, they really are good cats, not to be forward but the company is nice. They seem to notice that I’m lonely and are always really sweet, but sorry sorry, whatever you’d like to do, they’re your cats” she laughed, setting up a spot at her table for Minho who was stuck staring at her. He didn’t mean to, his thoughts were running wild and he got stuck, he didn’t even notice how heavily she was blushing before she went to get plates.

“Are you sure they’re not causing trouble? Destroying your house?” He sighed, feeling bad for putting her through it yet again, “and they aren’t pooping and peeing everywhere right? When we first moved in, they didn’t like the new place so they did a lot of that”

“Not that I know of, they just lounge on the couch or follow me around, oh I hope you don’t mind, I gave them some boiled chicken today, they were acting starved”

Minho laughed, shaking his head as he glanced at the two cats who hadn’t moved an inch. He could tell they were well taken care of here, thanks to y/n, and he could tell they really liked her so they weren’t going to be evil and scratch up her couches. He figured it’d be okay if they visited every once in a while, but he still felt like it was a burden so he’d try to make it up to her as often as he could.

Two days later Minho had to go and collect his cats yet again, this time hearing from y/n that Doongie had used the restroom but luckily she’d gone in the actual restroom so the cleanup was easy. Minho was appalled and the most apologetic, but y/n said it was okay, that they were good girls no matter what. So Minho let it go, but not completely.

“Oh, good morning” y/n mumbled sleepily. Her hair still messy and her pajamas all wrinkled from a long night, Minho blushed just looking at her and couldn’t help but think that she looked adorable.

“Good morning, I brought you something” he said softly, not trying to disturb her if she was half asleep. She nodded while she moved aside, letting him in even if he’d just be there for a short while.

“Want some coffee?” She asked, rubbing her eyes while she collapsed onto the couch, peeking at him from behind the cushions while he held up a box and a few bags.

“Oh no thank you, I brought you some kitty litter, a box for them to use it in, and some food. It’s not much, but they really like being at your house, and if you don’t mind” he laughed, watching her nod with a cute little smile.

“I love them, they’re so sweet, thanks for being a cool cat dad. Just think of me as their babysitter, and if you ever want me to check on Dori while you’re gone I will, I know she’s a baby and everything”

“Really? You would do that for me?”

“Yeah, even if I am allergic, I officially love cats now”

The next day when Minho got home he brought some allergy medication for y/n, giving her a house key before he took his cats home. Most days he got home from work pretty late, and he felt bad that Dori was all alone, so he told y/n that he wouldn’t mind if she fed her and played with her for about half an hour. That y/n didn’t have to bring the other two cats, one day they’d all get along but he didn’t want to force it. He was just glad he found someone so cool, someone who loved his cats enough to let them stay in their house and actually take care of them too.

“I’m telling you, that movie was so terrible, I don’t know why we watched it” Minho groaned, his friends rolling his eyes at him for being so dramatic. The gasp that followed just made it worse, they thought he really hated the movie until they saw someone waving from across the theatre lobby, “that’s my neighbor”

“Wow, you never told us you had a cute neighbor. Wait, is she the cat girl?” Seungmin asked, squinting as he tried to distinguish more of her from that distance.

“Yeah, cat girl, cat guy, that’s me,” Minho said excitedly, bouncing on his heels while the boys gave each other knowing looks, “so I’m gonna go...say hi, see you later?”

“You were supposed to pay for lunch!” Jisung groaned, even though nothing was stopping Minho now. They’d never seen him run so fast, he even surprised himself but hardly noticed because it was y/n in public. The first thing he asked was if she wanted something to eat, she almost wanted to ask if he was always hungry but could not say no to him.

“How much do you want to bet that my cats are at your house right now? They practically live there” Minho laughed, placing his jacket down on the grass and gesturing to it, hoping he didn’t have to use words and embarrass himself even more. Y/n blushed but didn’t say anything, just sat down while Minho sat beside her.

“I think I closed my window before I left, so they might be really angry at me” she laughed, closing her eyes while the sun shined, enjoying the warmth that she hardly got to see. She worked pretty early in the morning and got off once it started to get cold in the evening, she really only saw sunshine when it was her days off. Or with the cats, but how could she admit that they’d become such a big part of her life without sounding weird?

“Well they love you so I don’t see how, they go over there just to hang out with you anyways” Minho giggled, placing the tray of food between them to share. Truthfully he really liked this spot, overlooking the Han River, but he never came alone. He always told himself he’d come here with a date, and right then and there, sharing food and letting her sit on his jacket, it kind of felt like a date.

It was almost like she’d heard his thoughts, because y/n started blushing and avoiding his eyes immediately, “that’s sweet”

“You’re sweet” he said without thinking, just teasing her but also being serious. The both of them laughed, eating in silence for a bit before they decided to stretch out in the sun.

“This is really nice, I’d never think to come here alone really, so thank you for bringing me” y/n sighed, her eyes shut while Minho couldn’t help but admire her sun kissed face. When he touched her hair she jumped a bit, but he just smiled shyly while holding out his hand.

“I don’t want you to get dirt and grass in your hair” he mumbled, surprised she obliged and let him put his hand under her head. Her cheeks were beet red but she just closed her eyes again while Minho did the same.

When y/n’s peace was interrupted by slobber all over her face she almost believed it was Minho, until she opened her eyes and cane face to face with a big puppy who was practically on top of her, kissing her face before moving on to Minho. It’s owners were yelling at it from further down, running over while Minho laughed and pet the cute dog.

“I’m so sorry! He’s so bad, I’m sorry, so sorry!” The owner kept apologizing even after they’d said it was okay, Minho watched while the dog got pulled away before turning back to y/n who had her face buried in her hand.

“Did he bite you?” He asked, leaning closer and putting a hand on her shoulder, immediately concerned because he heard her crying.

“No, sorry. He just really looked like my dog” she whispered, wiping her eyes before she started to cry again, not able to hold it in. It had been a while since she cried over it, she hadn’t even noticed how strong she’d been lately thanks to the cats, and Minho.

“Oh, I’m sorry, do you want to talk about it?” Minho asked gently, his hand that was rubbing her shoulder slowly moving to wrap around them, bringing her closer while she nodded.

“It’s just really hard going home every day and not having him there, he was in my life for such a long time,” she breathed, leaning her head against Minho’s shoulder while he nodded, letting her continue while he patted her hair down, “I get so lonely, my dog kept me going, he made me happy, it’s like I’m missing a big piece of me”

Minho didn’t know what to say, he spent a long time thinking about it because truthfully he was scared of loss. Losing his cats would be such a terrible thing he never wanted to experience, and y/n had to go through it but she didn’t have to go through it alone, “I’m so sorry you have to go through this y/n, I really am. I don’t have much advice for you, other than reassuring you that you don’t have any less love in your life now. Now you have a few more little things that love you, even Dori”

“You’re right, wow,” she gasped, pulling away while wiping her tears, “I didn’t even consider that, I’m so selfish. Poor Soonie and Doongie have been giving me all their love and I just dissed them”

“It’s okay, I’m sure they don’t mind. Are you feeling better now? Wanna do something?”

When y/n had ‘something’ in mind, never in a million years would she guess she’d be getting on a boat with Minho to watch the sunset. She’d never actually been on a cruise before, but Minho said everyone had to do it at least once, especially when they had great views. If she was being honest she was a little nervous, it felt like something a couple would do, and it wasn’t even the first couple thing they’d done that day.

“Oh wow”

Minho couldn’t tell if y/n was impressed or not, her eyes were wide but her tone wasn’t very convincing. He figured it was just a her thing, it was getting pretty cold and the last thing he wanted was for y/n to catch a cold so he was giving her his jacket again, “pretty cool huh? The sunset views are nice”

“Oh yeah,” she mumbled, blushing again, “super pretty”

Minho couldn’t help but agree, even if he wasn’t looking at the sunset anymore. Y/n got up to stand at the edge of the deck, watching the water reflect the fading sun as the boat trailed along, not surprised to hear Minho’s footsteps behind her while he leaned against the rail, “thanks for everything, I think my cats would go crazy if they didn’t have you”

“You think so? I feel lucky that they like me”

“I’m lucky they have you, seriously, you’ve been nothing but helpful and kind. Any other neighbor would have cursed at me and told me to keep my window closed,” Minho laughed, “thanks for hanging out with me”

“It was the least I could do, you looked so bored and lonely” she teased, not letting it go unnoticed that she totally saw him ditch his friends.

“In my defense, an evening with you was much better than arguing over a movie and eating way too much food, not saying I wouldn’t like to do that with you too, but this is nice” he shrugged, blushing so hard his ears turned red while y/n couldn’t help but laugh at him.

“So the first date is romantic and cheesy, for the next date I’ll put my debate shoes on and make sure to bring an appetite” y/n giggled, watching Minho’s eyes widen while he looked back and forth from her to the water.

“So this is a date?”

“I’m wearing your jacket”

He just shook his head at her, “so you’re saying this is a date”

“Minho you used your hand as a pillow to keep grass out of my hair” she laughed, trying hard not to whine but she couldn’t help it. He almost passed out from how cute it was, pretty sure his only other option here was to jump overboard.

“So it’s a date then?”

Y/n groaned, pushing his shoulder gently while he laughed, “we’re on a cruise, it’s a date!”

He finally nodded along to her words, taking a half step closer while she swallowed a lump in her throat, “so if it’s a date I can totally kiss you right?” He asked, leaning in closer while her eyes were already closing.

“Yeah totally,” She squeaked, taking his hand while he softly pressed his lips against hers, pulling away as soon as he did it, “What was that?”

“Oh sorry I just didn’t know if this was really a date” he teased her, watching her entire face redden like a tomato while she whined, pulling him closer with a tug of his hand and kissing him herself. He was surprised, but he deserved it at the same time, making her wait anxiously and all. The both of them were surprised at how natural the kiss was, there wasn’t much effort that had to be put in to make it work, Minho would rank it as his number one best first kiss.

When they got home that evening with dessert and a rented movie, y/n wanted to stop at home to change into comfier clothes and Minho just wanted to spend all of his time with her. They were met with meowing from within her dark house, y/n instantly flipping the lights on to find all three of Minho’s cats lazily lounging on the couch but excitedly meowing.

“Well don’t you guys look cozy” y/n laughed, glancing at Minho who just winked at her. The cats would definitely be saying, ‘so do you two’ if they could speak.

“Looks like we’ll be spending the evening here, if that’s okay with you. My cats are not so thoughtful as to ask but they seem to really like you. So do I” Minho whispered, kissing her cheek while she played off her blush with a playful smack to his shoulder.

“Wow so cheesy, and cute,” she cooed, going to sit on the couch while Dori climbed into her lap, “cat dad I think they love me more”

“Nonsense, they just want a cat mom and are willing to take anyone, they just like you because you give them treats,” Minho said with a sigh, “move it furballs”

He plopped on the couch beside her, the playful confidence from their first kiss still coursing through him as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, “I’ll admit that I do feel really lucky, if your cats weren’t so nosy this would have never happened”

“I agree,” Minho snorted, looking over at his cats before focusing back on y/n who looked embarrassed that he caught her staring, “and you helped bring them together, so you really are special. I’m not just saying that okay? All three of my cats like you and that’s rare!”

“Ah so cute, this feels like something out of a movie,” she said with a giggle, her hands clamping over her red cheeks before she gasped, “I found something last night!”

Minho watched her nervously, she was typing away on her phone and trying to see what she was doing but every time he would get scolded. It wasn’t until she put her phone in his face that he groaned, “Don’t tell me you watched that!”

“It was recommended to me!!” She argued, pressing play on ‘MrCatDad’s’ video while Minho shyly hid his face. He knew he was screwed the minute he told y/n he filmed Mukbangs, but he never expected her to actually find his channel. It was just a second hobby to do when he wasn’t working, he liked eating and the Internet liked watching him eat, and they liked his cats.

“Now you have a film a mukbang with me, I haven’t been able to film one with my cats because they spend all their time with you. Now I can get more views by introducing my girlfriend to the world” Minho said smugly, just teasing her but the look on her face screamed embarrassment and he wanted to take it back.

“Girlfriend?”

“Did I say that? Oh, hah, I meant...you know” he wheezed, his entire face turning red while he turned to the cats who just stared at him mockingly. He was sure they were laughing at him, calling him a dumbass or something.

“So my boyfriend is a famous youtuber who does Mukbangs with his cat, not bad,” y/n shrugged, linking their fingers before she laid her head on his shoulder, “You’re cute as hell”

“Me? What about you? Look at this face,” he cooed, grabbing her cheeks before pressing a small kiss to her lips, “I’ll get dessert while you start the movie?”

“Got it”

The cats didn’t really know what was going on, if anything Minho felt like they were upset he was there, he didn’t wanna invade the little space they had with y/n and their alone time, but at the end of the day he knew they’d suck it up. He really liked y/n, and so did they, do it really was a win-win situation there.

Although, he wasn’t sure who she liked more, him or his cats.

#lee know #stray kids minho #minho x reader #lee know x reader #stray kids scenarios #lee know fluff #stray kids x reader #stray kids fluff #minho and his cats is cute af #also high I didn’t edit this too well

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legitlaur · 5 years

Text

Deception 4 // Mysterio

The Finale

pairing: Quentin Beck/Mysterio x Reader

word count: 2.2k

warnings: none

Summary: Quentin explains everything to you. Now it's just a matter of if you really trust him.

<<<<Previous

the heart deceived the mind

You asked for a moment to be alone, you had to think. Quentin Beck has lied to you about everything. Except for his feelings for you, apparently.

You told him to look you in the eyes and tell you, you could trust him. He did end up telling you the truth, why, though? If he was lying to everyone why tell you the truth. He was clearly busy trying to pull this all off, why was he spending all his time with you. Did he really want to help you or were you some pawn in a sick game he was playing?

“Show me.” you finally came back into the warehouse.

A smile grew on his face, “I think you’ll love this, really.” he began typing, “I used to work for Stark, remember his Binarily Augmented Retro-Framing?”

“You need his therapeutic illusion tech? What was it called-“

Quentin interrupted, “B.A.R.F, he named my life’s work B.A.R.F.”

Your brows furrowed, “Your life’s work? You mean Stark stole your tech?”

Quentin nodded.

“I mean it was pretty amazing, I wouldn’t put it past him. I’m sorry that he took all the credit.” You apologized.

He shook his head, “It's not your fault. I’m using that illusion tech to be Mysterio.”

You chuckled, “How fitting, the man of mystery is a complete lie.”

“It’s ready.” He pressed a button completely ignoring, “over here.”

You stood next to the man who had cared for you and lied about his whole life. You gasped as you saw the elementals appear, then Quentin’s ‘Mysterio’ suit. The fishbowl and all were fighting the elementals. You turned to Quentin who was standing next to you, then back to the fight sequence. “How?”

He reached for your hand, “May I?”

You hesitated but nodded.

He intertwined his fingers with yours, pulling you closer to the illusion. “Quentin,” you pulled back.

“It’s safe I promise.” The look in his eyes was one you used to believe.

He didn’t look strong but his grip tightened enough to hurt, the pull was enough to force you into the illusion. Quentin let go of your hand, lifted both arms in the air and spun around. “This is how.”

You rolled your eyes, “Dramatic much?” but once you looked around your jaw dropped. There were drones everywhere, projecting the fight sequence. You reached your hand out and one of the Elementals disappeared. “What happened?”

He stood behind you, whispering into your ear. “Give me your hand,” his voice was controlling, your body had to listen. He lifted your hand with his, “You covered a projector, the one way for the show to stop. Block the drone.” Only Quentin Beck could make something so boring seem so sexy. He spun you around, “y/n will you ever forgive me for lying to you. I swear to you, I’ll never do it again.”

You brush your hair behind your ear, “I don’t know Quentin, last time I trusted someone I got shot in the stomach and had to stab them in the back, I’m not sure I could do that again.”

The illusion stopped.

He cupped your cheeks in his hands, holding your head up so you would look in his eyes, “I know this seems crazy, but I want to help you. I want to help the world.” His smile grew, “I think you’re becoming my world.”

A single tear fell, “Beck.”

He dropped his hands, and turned away from you, “We’re back to last names?”

“Tell Fury.”

You’d never seen him move so fast. He whipped around and grabbed your wrist, “What did you just say?”

You yanked yourself free from his grip, rubbing your arms you repeated yourself, “I said tell Fury, about everything. I mean everything, then and only then will I trust you.”

“Do you understand how much that will ruin my plans?” He was pacing around the warehouse.

You nodded, “How badly do you want this?”

He sat down on one of the few chairs in the vicinity. Resting his hand in his palm he began mumbling to himself.

“We have a deal?” your patience was wearing thin with him.

He ran his hands through his hair and looked up at you. Those blue eyes were going to be the death of you, even if he was a liar. “I wish I didn’t have to make a deal to prove my love to you, but yes.”

“Love to me?” Your voice was a whisper.

He stood up and filled the space between you two with three large strides. Like so many times before he reached for your hands, “I love you y/n.”

Those four words hit you like a pound of brinks. The way it rolled off his tongue, so eloquently. He smiled as he noticed the blush on your cheeks. Like your brain had a mind of its own you found yourself echoing him, “I love you.”

Quentin's beard scratched your jaw as he flowered you with kisses. You gave in to him, knowing this was a horrible idea.

After a heated 20 minutes, you fixed your hair, threw your tank top back on and told Quentin to buckle his seatbelt.

“How do you think he’s going to react?” Beck kept fiddling with his hands, you’d never seen him so nervous. He was also very poised and well mannered.

You bit your lip, “Well considering how well I took it, I think you’ll be okay.”

He chuckled, “I really do love you.”

You took a hand off the steering wheel and cured his cheek, “I know you do. You just have a very strange way of expressing it.”

He took your hand and squeezed, something so small but it always gave you comfort. Lifting your hand to his lips he kissed it, “I hope you’ll forgive me.”

“Let’s just see how this goes. I think my therapist will be overjoyed when this whole mess is over with.” you laughed.

The mission moved, you changed your flight from Prague to DC, the destination was now Berlin with a plus one. You slept for the very short flight, with all the fuss you hadn’t slept well in a while, at least when Quentin wasn’t there.

_____

“What the hell?”

You stood your ground when Fury came inches from your face, “I’ve found some interesting news out. I think Mr. Beck would like to share it with you.”

He hears the urgency in your voice and turns to Quentin, “What might that information be?”

Quentin cleared his throat, “Well sir, it's all fake. Everything.”

“Excuse me?”

Looking down Beck sighed, “The Elementals are fake, Mysterio is fake. The multiverse,” he finally looked up, “That's fake too.”

Fury looked back at you, you nodded. Then turned back to Quentin, slapping him in the face he started yelling, “The hell do you think you are? Faking interdimensional threats? That's some bullshit right there.”

Quentin took a step back, placing a hand where Fury just beat him. “You’ve got to understand.” Fury continued inching closer, Quentin fell back raising his hands in the air, “Please, I’m trying to help the world. We need the next Iron Man and I think Mysterio could be him, the world needs someone to believe in. Humanity has lost hope, I’m trying to restore it.”

Fury turned to Maria, “What do you think?” She shrugged, “He’s right, humanity has lost hope. But what happens when there's a real threat?”

You jumped in before anyone could argue anymore, “Then we call in a real hero, Peter or Wanda, Strange, even Captain Danvers if it's really severe.” You paused for a moment trying to make this more convincing, “Do you really think anyone is going to try to mess with Earth after they hear that we won, we beat Thanos”

Fury nodded, “I need to think until then I want you two separated. y/n I’m sending some work to your tablet,” he pointed to Maria, she nodded, “Mr. Beck you’ll be staying here with Agent Hill, I want you under surveillance 24/7.”

You and Quentin were given a gracious moment alone to say goodbye. He gave you a quick kiss and reminded you that he loved you. Then send you off to the car.

You weren’t given a hotel because everyone assumed you’d gone home. Instead, you ditched the car and went to explore Berlin. There was hardly ever a time during missions to get any sightseeing in, Fury was already mad as hell. When your stomach growled you realized that you’d been out for nearly two hours. You mapped a nearby outdoor cafe. Ordering a black coffee with some sweetener you began searching for work on your tablet.

No new files or anything out of the ordinary. Fury must have forgotten. You sipped the coffee slowly, this was the first time in the past hours you’d had time to think. To really think.

Quentin clearly loved you, he told you his whole plan and even told the one man that could threaten all of that. There was still some doubt in your gut, you knew you weren’t worth all of this. Yet you couldn’t quite figure out what made you the pawn. It hit you in the chest like a pound of bricks, everything that you loved about him was a lie. You loved that he had a similar sad past, he was a warrior who was being selfless enough to help save another Earth. For all, you knew Quentin may not even be his real name.

You were being watched, you were sure of it. Your phone was probably tapped too. You left your half-full cup of coffee and ran, the only place you could think of that Becks drones couldn’t get into would be a girls bathroom, at least you hoped he wasn’t that crazy. Finally, you found one, forcing the fake tears you asked a woman if you could borrow her cell phone. She looked confused but handed the phone over with ease. Once you had the number pad you realized you had no one to call, everyone that you trusted. Quentin tapped their phones too.

You faked a call, talking overly loud about some crazy ex-boyfriend then handed the woman her phone back.

Peters class trip.

You had to find them, someone had to know he was Spiderman. The kid looked like a basket case the last few times you’d seen him. Thankfully Fury forwarded all of their itinerary to you, they were going to fly home at London. You had to get to London and explain to Peter before he left. Quentin would be watching your flight.

You picked up your phone and called Beck.

“Hi, honey.”

You grimace at the nickname, “I need to go to Iceland, can you book me a flight?”

“Why in the world do you need to go to Iceland?” His voice sounded anxious.

“Fury sent me, but he’s busy so he can’t deal with a flight.” it wasn’t a great lie, but it would do. Hopefully.

He was mumbling to someone, “There’s a flight in 30 minutes. Hurry to the airport, when you get there, there will be a ticket waiting for you.”

“Thank you, Quentin,” you paused, “I love you.”

You hung up before he could tell you another lie.

Thankfully he kept his word and did get you a ticket. The flight had a layover in London, where you would go stop Quentin.

_____

When you landed Peters security guard found you.

“Mysterio tried to kill Peter, but he’s not dead and now he’s fighting him in that bridge,” His voice went up at least an octave as he pointed to a bridge.

“I can stop this.” You took a gun from him and ran towards the bridge. When you got closer you saw an Elemental, you took a deep breath and remembered it was just an illusion. You snuck onto the bridge, waiting to see if Spiderman could handle the fight. When Quentin pointed all his drones at Peter you ran in between them.

“Quentin,” Tears began flowing.

“y/n what are you doing?” Peter yelled.

You turned to the boy, his mask was off, “I’m saving you. Don’t let them ruin your life, Peter.” You inched closer to Beck, “Quentin was it all a lie, I thought you were going to stop. Fury wouldn’t let you do this. I need to know, please.”

“It is y/n, I really do love you. I just, I have to do this.” his voice dropped.

Keeping one hand on your gun you reached out to him, “Helping me, forcing me to eat? The kisses and the warehouse? You really love me, Quentin?” Your voice broke on that last sentence.

“I love you, you’re my world. My everything,”

“Prove it.” you shot through the glass and ran, jumping out of the window.

_____

Your head hurt. Opening your eyes you saw you were in the hospital. “Help.” You screamed.

Peter came running in, “shhh y/n it's okay. You saved the day, it was really dumb but you saved me and the world.”

You smiled, “What happened?”

He sat down and started from the moment you jumped, “Mr. Beck started screaming and basically shut off all the drones and gave me back E.D.I.T.H,” he pulled the glasses out of his pocket, “He asked me to save you, which I did. He’s been arrested, you’re safe from him.”

You sat up, pain shot through your body, “He didn’t run?”

Peter took your hand, “He said ‘the women he loves wouldn’t want him to run from his consequences.’” his voice went soft, “I think he really loves you.”

a/n: thanks for reading!!! if you want any more mysterio my requests are open

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rosa-berberifolia · 5 years

Text

Potions Master|Mortal Kombat x Reader|Erron Black x Reader

A/N: Its genuine 24K shit, but it was therapeutic to write it.

Hope you like it. Don’t be mean please.

Smutty part 2 maybe??

Word Count: Between 4,500 ish

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Potions Master. That was what everyone called you. While your brother, Johnny, became a fighting movie star, you had been training with your teacher, learning everything you could about brewing potions. You know seventy different ways to kill someone. You could heal someone on the brink of death. You could make someone immune to fire. You could make someone able to breathe underwater. And you knew many other tricks with your potions. You truly were a potions master. You had valuable skills that – since your mentored had passed – only you knew. And that made you valuable.

You had been staying with your brother, Johnny, for a couple of weeks now, since you had been attacked at your home and almost kidnapped. He was very hospitable to you despite being a smart ass. One day he came to you with a solemn look on his face.

“There’s a mission.” He started and you looked at him worriedly. “Both Cassie and I are going.” You could feel your heart pounding instantly. Fear for your well being bubbled up inside you as you felt a panic attack setting in. Johnny came to you and wrapped his arms around you in a big hug cooing quietly to try to calm you. “It’ll be okay.” He said as he gently swayed left to right. “I’ve got you covered.”

The sound of metal shoes clanking on the ground caught your attention and you looked passed Johnny to see whose footsteps were clattering into your room. A cowboy? You thought. A tall man with a mask covering his mouth and nose, wearing literally all leather stood in your doorway. Your eyes caught his pale ones. He tipped his cowboy hat to you.

“Ma’am.” He said.

Johnny’s embrace around you loosened as you looked to him for answers. His face said that he knew the man, so your concerns faded.

“Y/n, this is Erron. I’ve hired him to look after you while we are gone.” Johnny explained.

“Nice to meet you, little lady.” His smooth Texas accent sounded like chocolate in your ears. Erron took off his hat and gently bowed in your direction. You couldn’t lie, you swooned. “Erron Black, at your service.” He added.

“Y/n.” you only gave your first name. Erron might have been hot as hell, but he was still a stranger, and you didn’t fully trust him.

///

As Johnny and Cassie were leaving, your brother pulled you into a tight hug. After a moment, he pulled back and gave you a loving look. Then Cassie came to give you a hug. As she held you, you reached into your bag and pulled out some glass spheres and put them into her bag.

“Don’t let your dad use these.” You whispered into her ear. She pulled away and looked into her bag. She gasped in shock and looked at you astonished.

“Is that – “ She started.

“Green Fire. Yeah.” You confirmed her thoughts.

“I definitely will be keeping these for myself.” She laughed.

Cassie went with her dad in a helicopter and everyone waved as they left.

///

Johnny and Cassie had been away for their mission for a few days. You and Erron got along, but because a) he was a stranger, and ; b) he was hot as fuck and that made you nervous, there was a minimal number for words exchanged between you two.

A man had come to your small work area where you mostly made healing balms and small explosives. Special Forces wouldn’t really condone you making much else. He stood in the doorway, but you were too wrapped up in not letting the explosives you were bottling explode to see him there. It wasn’t until Erron cleared his throat that you noticed anyone was there.

“Oh, sorry. Didn’t see you there.” You apologized to the man.

“It’s alright sweet cheeks. How ‘bout a kiss and we’ll call it even?” The man said walking in towards you. Erron stood up straight putting a hand on his gun in case the man got any closer to you. When the man stepped even closer Erron cocked his gun and pointed it at the man, but you raised your hand in protest and started laughing softly at the man, stepping closer to him. Erron was concerned but suddenly you grabbed as small vile from your desk and at the same time grabbed the man by his ear and pulled his head down level with yours. You put the vile under the man’s nose so that he inhaled the scent of the contents of the vile.

“Tell me, what is the way you most fear dying?” You asked the man harshly.

“Shinnok. I fear Shinnok killing me and reviving me as the undead and that I will never know peace.” The man confessed. You put the vile away and went to loudly whisper in the man’s ear.

“If I ever hear you speak to me or anyone else with such entitled misogyny again I will summon Shinnok specifically to come and kill you and make you a Revenant so that you will be doomed to walk with him for all eternity. Never will your soul rest, and it will be MY doing. Do you understand me?” You threatened the man whose ear you still held sharply. The man nodded his head quickly. “I’m looking for a ‘Yes Ma’am,’” You clarified.

“Yes Ma’am!” He said quickly. You released his ear and he stood and ran out of the room. You looked over to Erron who held and impressed look in his eye. Turns out Erron maybe didn’t have to be so protective of you.

///

It had been roughly three weeks since you were home, and the base had you getting a little stir crazy. Erron, to your astonishment (that he recognized anything in your behaviour) recognized this and suggested that you go home. He insisted that he’d watch over you no matter where you were, and if you were more comfortable at home, then that’s where you should be. And so you and Erron headed back to your home, but something happened along the way.

The two of you were walking down the street when Erron grabbed you and tackled you to the ground. You were so surprised that you didn’t hear the gunshot until you saw the damage that it did to the wall behind you. Erron got up and started shooting at your assailants.

“Black!” One of them called, “Step down from your usual kind of woman, wouldn’t you say?” he yelled while shooting at you. Although you really should have been concerned that you were being shot at, you couldn’t help but feel hurt at that comment, ‘step down from your usual kind of woman’. You had always felt as if you were sub-par in the looks department. Johnny had been the one to inherit that. But even though you felt that you knew it to be true, it still hurt when people pointed it out. By the time you had finished the thought Erron had taken out all of the assailants. He turned to face your shaking form still laying in the ground where he left you.

“Next time people are shooting at you, run for cover somewhere.” Erron said pointedly but still with a bit of ...what, playfulness you thought. Almost as if there was a little bit of a smile in that sentence. He put his guns away and bent down to help you off of the ground, but when he went to pull you up he groaned and held his side. You both looked to find that he was shot through his side. You looked up at him with concern filling your face.

“It’s nothing. I’ve had worse.” He tried to calm you.

“Come on.” You said putting his arm around your shoulder to help him walk. “I can take care of that at home.” And you went to your home.

///

ERRON’S POV

After initially meeting Y/n he didn’t really think much of her. Anyone who was so weak that they needed his protection was probably nothing to take up a lot of time in his brain. But when she gave Cassie some spheres of Green Fire he was intrigued. He had seen Green Fire in Outworld. It was a deadly and devastating weapon that almost guaranteed victory to whoever was using it. But something like that must have been volatile to concoct. The fact that Y/n made any was impressive. A certain amount of respect for her was gained.

///

Spending time watching Y/n in her lab was like watching an artist work. The look of concentration on her face and the look she had when she had an epiphany and added a bunch of random stuff to a brew made a fluttering of sorts happen in Erron’s stomach. ‘She’s just a job.’ He would think to himself and dismiss any feelings he might have been having. But when the man came to her lab and asked for a kiss like a douche a feeling of fierce defensiveness erupted from him. But then when she stopped him and defended herself, he saw that he being hired to protect her was probably more Johnny’s idea than hers. She could take care of herself. And Erron would admit, it turned him on.

///

Over the days spent on the Special Forces base with Y/n he tried his best to dispose of the ideas and feelings that kept surfacing about Y/n. She made him want to ferociously protect her because if anything happened to her, he would never be able to forgive himself, which was a new concept for him. He had never had feelings like this about anyone. Not even Nitara or Skarlet. During the time he spent trying to not have feelings for Y/n he watched her more intently. He noticed that she was feeling very out of place, and that she was rather anxious and antsy.

“What’s gonna get you to stop fidgeting?” He asked Y/n at lunch one day, trying to hide the hint of concern that was detectible in his voice.

“Oh, sorry.” She apologize unnecessarily. “I guess I’m just missing home.” She confessed.

“Then why don’t we go there?” Erron asked.

“Is that allowed?” Y/n half scoffed. Erron laughed. For the first time in a long time, Erron actually laughed at something.

“Darlin’, I’ll protect you wherever you go.” Erron said accidentally letting some of what he was feeling for Y/n show. “It’s what your brother is paying me for.” He added to try to misdirect. Y/n thought about it for a moment before nodding her head.

///

The walk to Y/n’s home was silent for the most part. Erron couldn’t help the nagging in his brain to find out more about Y/n. He rationalized that he would find out something about her that would be a deal breaker for him and these feelings that he didn’t want would go away. So he gently prodded her for information.

“So, Potions Master?” He asked. She looked up at him waiting for a follow up question. “How does someone – a human especially, become a Potions Master?” He looked down at her looking for her reaction to his question. She knit her eyebrows together thinking of her answer. Though no one could see because of his mask, he was smiling. He loved it when she looked like she as thinking. ‘Adorable.’ He thought silently to himself.

“Well, I guess it started when I was a young teen. I had sever back pain and nothing was working to relieve it. So I turned to herbal remedies and found a mustard paste that I put on my back. I was in so much pain I was willing to try anything. And to my surprise it worked! So I started to research other remedies for different things… and that’s how I met my teacher. In the recipes section of the archives. He said that he knew a lot about potions as he called them. I asked if he could teach me and said yes. I spent the next fifteen years studying with him. He was my potions master. And then after he passed, being his only student, I became the Potions Master.” You explained at length. And Erron ate up every word. He nodded to indicate that he understood, and then the two of you walked in comfortable silence.

Something on the roofs caught his attention. A shooter that was aiming for Y/n. Quickly he grabbed Y/n and brought her to the ground as the first shot was fired. He stood up and started shooting at the shooter. He hit the one on the roof but two more came out of the building in front of them.

“Black!” One of them called, “Step down from your usual kind of woman, wouldn’t you say?” he yelled while shooting at him. ‘How do they fucking dare talk about Y/n like that!?’ Erron thought, and he fired at the shooters with blind rage. In an instant they were dead and Erron turned to see Y/n still sitting on the ground where he left her.

“Next time people are shooting at you, run for cover somewhere.” Erron said pointedly but still with a bit of the smile that he was glad his mask hid.

He put his guns away and bent down to help Y/n off of the ground, but when he went to pull her up he groaned and held his side. Both he and Y/n looked to find that he was shot through his side. She looked up at his with concern filling her face.

“It’s nothing. I’ve had worse.” He tried to calm her.

“Come on.” She said putting his arm around her shoulder to help him walk. “I can take care of that at home.” And they went to her home.

///

They came to a small house and Y/n let them in. The inside of the house was filled wall to wall with shelves filled with what looked like different ingredients. There was a standalone set of shelves that were filled with bottles and viles of already made concoctions. Erron could see through the open area to the kitchen where different herbs were drying, hanging from the ceiling. They would have hit him in the head if he walked through there, but they just barely missed Y/n as she rushed into the room, grabbing a bottle of capsules and running back to him.

Y/n guided Erron to the couch and got him to sit down and rest back onto it.

“Here,” She said handing him a couple of the capsules from the bottle. Then she ran back to the kitchen and grabbed a glass, filling it with water, and then rushed back to Erron. “Take them.” She told him.

“What is it?” Erron asked suspiciously.

“ White willow bark, Valerian root, and Boswellia.” Y/n said but Erron gave her a confused look. She chuckled, “It’s a pain reliever.” She explained. Erron nodded and took off his mask so that he could take the pills and the water to swallow them down. Y/n smiled brightly at him and if he were standing Erron would have been so weak kneed he’d have fallen. Y/n softly squeezed his arm in a tender way before getting up and going back to the kitchen.

Erron tried to get up to follow her but Y/n turned around and gently pushed him back to the couch.

“No! You need to rest!” She said pointedly. “I’m going to make a healing paste for your wound. Just relax.” Erron tried to protest but the authoritative look on Y/n’s face told him that he better do as she says. “If you want to help you can try to take off your vest so that I can apply the paste directly to your skin.” She said sensing that Erron didn’t want to be useless. Erron nodded in agreement and sat back down, starting to unbuckle his vest.

Erron watched Y/n as she turned around and rushed to different shelves in her home, grabbing different ingredients and bringing them to the kitchen. The concentration on her face while she pulled out a pot and put it on the stove and then went to the fridge and pulled out various liquids and poured them into the pot mesmerized Erron. He couldn’t take his eyes off her while he tried to take his vest off with the least amount of pain.

He watched as Y/n came back to take his water glass and bring it back to the kitchen. She dumped the contents and then went to the freezer and put some ice in the glass. Then she went to a shelf on the wall, grabbed a bottle of brown liquid and poured some in the glass, then walked back to Erron and gave it to him.

“What’s this now?” He asked apprehensively. Y/n chuckled again.

“Whisky.” She said matter of factly. Erron smiled and tipped his head in thanks as he took the glass taking a sip of the drink. And damn, it was good whisky. He spent the next while watching Y/n work in pure admiration and adoration. When she came to him with some pieces of cloth and a pot full of a brown paste and sat down on the floor in front of him, his pulse what sky rocketing. He tried to sit up but Y/n put her hand on his bare chest to push him back down. The touch of her skin against his had Erron’s breaths coming uneasy. He swallowed harshly, and he hoped that she didn’t hear it. But when she looked into his eyes as he did it he knew she did.

Y/n took a deep breath, “Okay,” She started, "It’s going to tingle. It might sting a bit initially, but if it gets really bad let me know and ill rinse it off, alright?” She said, looking very concerned at him. Erron was not used to people looking at him like that. He could tell that Y/n genuinely cared about him, and he couldn’t even remember the last time that someone genuinely cared about him. He didn’t want to, but he admitted to himself that it was a feeling he liked and well…missed. All Erron could do was nod his understanding and Y/n started to work on him. She put a piece of cloth over the entry and exit wound on his side before starting to slather the paste on top of the cloth.

“Why don’t you just put the stuff on my skin?” Erron asked.

“Because it would sting like a mother fucker.” Y/n put in plain words, smiling at him. He smiled back. She put another piece of cloth on top of the paste. Y/n sat up onto the couch beside him and got Erron to sit up so that she could wrap a gauze around his waist to keep the medicine in place. But before she could stand up and walk away, Erron thought, ‘To hell with it’.’ And he put a hand on her cheek and he pulled her to his lips where he was able to give her a soft kiss.

To Erron’s happiness, Y/n received the kiss and started to kiss back. He put his other hand behind her back and she put one hand on his bare chest and the other on his cheek as well. They pulled each other closer to deepen the kiss. And just when Erron was starting to feel bliss, Y/n pulled and quickly stood up out of his grasp.

“I’m sorry.” She said quickly. He laughed.

“You apologize an awful lot for things that don’t need to be apologized for.” He chuckled at her.

“No, no I shouldn’t have kissed you.” She explained.

“Pretty sure I was the one who started it, Darlin’.” Erron clarified. He grabbed her hand and pulled her back to him. With a final tug she sat back down on the couch and he put his hand back against her head, threading his fingers through her hair as he tried to pull her back to him. She put her hands on his chest and pushed so that he couldn’t pull her any closer. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

Y/n licked her lips and the butterflies in Erron’s stomach erupted. She looked down sadly and then up at Erron is a crushed way and it made his heart crack open in pain. He put his other hand on her other cheek gently. “Tell me what’s wrong.” He urged in a soft voice.

“I don’t do casual.” Y/n blurted out and it took Erron aback for a second, giving her a surprised look. Then, cocking his head he gave her a questioning look.

“Who said I do?” he asked.

“I’m not your type.” She tried to laugh to show an uncaring attitude but the pain she was feeling bled through obviously.

Erron chuckled trying to lighten the mood a bit, “And what’s my type?” Y/n just shook her head and tried to look away from him. But he used his hand to tenderly bring her gaze back to him. He looked at her waiting for her to talk.

Y/n sighed, “You know…fierce, strong, fit … beautiful…” she described. Her eyes looking down defeated. Erron could see how little Y/n thought of herself and it broke his heart.

“Hey, little lady,” Erron started, pulling Y/n closer to him and resting his forehead on hers for a second. It made her look at him once more. He continued, “You just described yourself.”

Y/n laughed, "I'm none of those things. I mean look at me."

"I have been," Erron stated to Y/n's surprise. "For a while now." He moved his head so that they were seeing eye to eye. "And you know what I saw?"

Y/n's eyes were locked with his and she couldn't escape him. "I look at you and I see a woman who is fierce and strong and fit and beautiful - "

"Oh please. Don't lie to me just to get me in bed!" Y/n all but yelled at Erron. She ripped herself away from him and stood up. She started walking towards a door between the shelves on the wall, but Erron got up and followed.

"Y/n." He called after her.

"No!" She yelled as she turned around harshly glaring at him. "I'm not gonna indulge some lies about what I'm not for just -"

Erron got to Y/n and wrapped an arm around her to hold her close to him, and his other hand threaded through her hair so that he could pull her in for a passionate kiss. She didn't fight it. She kissed back. After a few moments, Erron pulled back.

"Sit down." He said with as much power as he could. Y/n, who was speechless after that kiss did as she was told and she sat down on her bed. Erron groaned and held his side as he followed and sat beside her. "Now," he started, looking at her and taking her hand. "Do you not trust me to keep you safe? Like I did on the way here? I took a bullet for ya."

Y/n looked at his bandages and then back at his face. She knew that it was true. She did trust him. All she could do was nod sadly.

"Then why can't you trust me with your heart?" He asked sincerely. Y/n's lip started to quiver and a single tear fell down her cheek. Erron reached up to wipe it away.

"But...but I - " Y/n started.

"You are gorgeous. You are strong. You are fierce." Erron interrupted and then planted a gentle kiss to Y/n's shaking lips. "But more importantly, you are generous. And you are kind. Qualities that I haven't seen so embedded in someone in my whole life." He brushed the hair away from her face and placed a soft hand on her cheek. "And I know I hardly deserve someone like you, but I sure would be honored and ecstatic if you'd give me a chance."

Erron had no idea where this was coming from. He had never been so sentimental in his life. But there was just something about this girl that made him lose his guard. She knocked down all of his walls. He was vulnerable with her. But that was okay, as long as she'd have him.

More tears were falling from Y/n's eyes now. She had that look she has while she thought again, and Erron reveled in it. After a moment she looked up at him with a scrutinizing glower, searching him for the lie that she was certain was there. But she found nothing but genuineness and earnestness. And at that she broke down and smiled at him. Erron smiled back and pulled her in for another kiss, just as passionate as the last. They were each other's now, and that's what mattered.

#mortal kombat x reader #mortal kombat #erron black #erron black x reader #erron black imagine #mortal kombat imagine

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perspective-series · 5 years

Text

Switched Perspective (12)

By: @arc852 and @hiddendreamer67

Warnings: Mentions of Past Trauma, Revenge, and Mention of Deceit

(Check the reblog for the links to the previous chapters and the prequel!)

This is a sequel to A Third Perspective! Read that first or you will be confused!

Prepare yourselves guys...

Smirking, Virgil poked Logan’s side. “Logan, wake up.” He said.

Logan let out a groan, startled by the pressure to his side. He sat up slightly, rubbing at his eyes beneath his glasses before taking in his surroundings. Looking up at Virgil and realizing this hadn’t all been some elaborate dream, Logan turned an ashen gray. “...oh.”

“Yeah, ‘oh’ is right. And guess what?” Virgil leaned in real close. “It’s just the two of us now.”

Logan tried to back away but was stopped when he collided with Virgil’s curled fingers forming a wall. Why were they alone? Where had Thomas gone? Why had he ever listened to that idiot Roman? He should have told Patton when he still had the chance.

“They’ll come back for me,” Logan said, although even he wasn’t so sure. Had everyone agreed this was for the best? Was it a group decision to sacrifice him to Virgil?

Virgil hummed. “Maybe, but by then it’ll have been too late.” Virgil changed his grip so he was now holding Logan in a fist. “You’ll already be broken. Just like I was.” He moved the beaker closer and dropped Logan inside, watching him through the glass.

“This look familiar to you?”

Logan tumbled against the smooth glass, hitting his head in the fall on the wall hard enough to certainly leave a bump. He groaned, putting a hand to his head as he stood up. Looking at Virgil through the glass distorted the view, making Virgil appear even more ghastly and threatening than before.

“Yes.” Logan was hesitant, but he knew he couldn’t get away without giving Virgil answers.

“Hmm, thought so. How about this.” Virgil picked up the notebook and held it up, waving it in Logan’s line of sight. “Hope you don’t mind, but I sorta destroyed everything in it.” Virgil opened up the journal, revealing the ripped pages. He shrugged and kicked the paper at his feet for good measure.

“That’s fair,” Logan admitted. Though he hated seeing one of his beloved notebooks torn to shreds, he did have to destroy the borrower evidence kept inside anyways. Hopefully, it had at least been therapeutic for Virgil to be the one to do it.

Virgil glared at him, having hoped for a better reaction. He huffed and took a seat at the desk. He grabbed the gloves and made a show of putting them on, before grabbing a pencil and opening the notebook in front of him. “...I wonder how tall you are?” Virgil asked out loud, pretending to look deep in thought as he looked Logan over.

“Oh, but would you look at that, you’re moving way too much to be able to get an accurate reading,” Virgil said, despite the fact Logan was completely still. He reached his hand in, and in similar fashion to what Logan had done to him, pressed him up against the glass. “There we go.” He went ahead and wrote down the number.

Logan let out a slight groan, his head injury pressing up against the glass in an uncomfortable fashion. “...how tall am I?” Logan had the guts to say, curious about if his borrower height differed from Virgil’s.

“Huh, you’re actually my height. Or, er, my borrower height.” Virgil said before he blinked and glared at Logan. “Wait a second, no!” He took his hand away, letting Logan fall to the bottom of the glass again.

“You’re supposed to be scared. Not asking me questions.” Virgil growled out. Why did Logan have to be so frustrating?

“Oh, I am scared.” Logan clarified, brushing off his clothing. And he was, but Logan knew this was mostly instinctual fear and thus could be suppressed. Also, the glass barrier between them made Logan feel a bit bolder. “But I also know you’re not going to hurt me. Of course, that’s assuming your own word can be trusted.”

“No, no, no.” Virgil shook his head. “You’re supposed to be panicking and shaking and-and crying just like I was!” This wasn’t working, his idea wasn’t working. Fine, new plan.

Virgil stood up so he was towering over Logan. He took off the gloves before reaching in and grabbing Logan in a fist, taking him out and holding him close to his face. “Fine. Then let’s talk, hmm? Because I just got a very interesting call from a certain someone just before you got here.”

“Wait, what?” Logan was now nervous, not sure what was going on. At least when Virgil was doing his little bit of repeating Logan’s own actions, Logan could predict what would happen next. The uncertainty was a mystery Logan didn’t wish to explore.

“Yeah. Professor Dee. You know, the one you were going to show me off to? Well, he called about wanting his cage back...and the occupants inside.” Virgil glared and tightened his grip a little more, not enough to hurt him though. “He told me you had discussed it before.” Virgil shook his head.

“Looks like I was right about you after all.”

“L-Let me explain myself!” Logan spoke up frantically, feeling the grip slowly tightening around him. “It was when we were searching for my phone. The dean began to threaten me and asked for me to give him both in exchange for knowledge about the phone’s whereabouts.”

“But-!” Logan rapidly finished his explanation. “I only agreed to his deal because he asked for the cage and its current occupants. You and Patton were safely in Roman’s care at the time, so all I promised was an empty cage. Which I was planning on returning, regardless.”

“And why should I believe you?” Virgil asked, throwing his free hand up for emphasis. He then pointed it at Logan. “You already planned on doing it once before, I can’t imagine it would be too hard to convince you to do it again.” He thought back to another thing Dee had said. “Especially if it counted towards your masters program, which you seem to care a lot about.” Anything to do with school, it seemed Logan cared a lot about.

“Virgil, you know how I acted,” Logan argued. “You are the one individual who saw me at my worst. I was calloused and calculating and cruel. My sole motivation in life was to impress Professor Dee and get myself into that masters program. That presentation was my best chance, and all I had to do was give you up. Certainly, if I was going to turn you in that was the optimal time to do it. So why didn’t I do it then?”

“I don’t know! Maybe you actually did have a change of heart there for a while, maybe not. Either way, how do I know that Dee didn’t convince you to just do it? You were adamant on keeping us after all, of putting us in this cage.” He motioned towards the cage. “Maybe Dee said you’d be able to keep Patton if you turned me in! Because clearly, you liked him much better than me, what with how Patton is way too friendly for his own good and you could take advantage of that.”

“I wasn’t trying to take advantage of Patton!” Logan insisted. “I was trying to positively bond with both of you, but given my behavior upon our first meeting, it’s no surprise my efforts failed there. But regardless of my failures, I had-have- no intention of turning either of you into that insane failure of a scholar.”

Virgil grit his teeth. “Fine, let's say I believe you. That doesn’t negate the fact you still wanted to keep us, even as Roman agreed to let us go. You simply agreed because you knew you wouldn’t be able to stop Roman, but if it wasn’t for him both Patton and I would be sitting in that cage.”

“For your own good!” Logan blurted out, before realizing that Virgil would not see it the same way.

Virgil’s eyes twitched. “For our...own good.” Virgil stared at Logan. “And what could you possibly mean by that?” Virgil growled, his anger quickly becoming out of control.

“W-Well…” Logan whimpered slightly, leaning as far back as Virgil’s fist allowed. “You kept hurting yourself trying to escape, and I thought...if there was someplace you could stay without being able to harm yourself…” Logan trailed off; even he noticed how weak his argument sounded.

“Harming myself-? Wait.” Virgil raised an eyebrow. “You mean when I was running against the beaker, right? Well, newsflash nerd, but I wouldn’t be trying to harm myself if I hadn’t been trying to escape.” Virgil sighed.

“You really think keeping me trapped would have fixed that? No.” Virgil sneered, bringing Logan closer. “Any other reasons you think it would have been ‘good’ for us?”

“S-Shelter?” Logan cringed, trying to offer up all his reasons so that maybe Virgil would take pity on him. Of course, both knew that was highly unlikely. “Food? Water? Higher standard of living? Warmth? Protection?”

Virgil leaned back, narrowing his eyes. “...Are you saying we can’t take care of ourselves? That we’re completely helpless when it comes to surviving? Besides, even if we were, what right do you have to make that decision for us? Huh?”

“I-I know that now!” Logan backpedaled. “It’s a common human error, assuming a lesser species is incapable of sustaining itself. I had no right to try and interfere with the delicate borrower ecosystem.”

“No, you didn’t.” Virgil was getting tired of this. He couldn’t tell for sure whether Logan was saying was the truth or not. For all Virgil knew, everything he said could be a lie, a way to save himself from Virgil. Virgil stood up, Logan still in hand.

He silently made his way to the door, opening it and heading up the stairs, past the fifth floor and still going.

“Uh, V-Virgil?” Logan asked quietly, trying to duck down. He was worried by Virgil’s behavior. Usually, Virgil was so focused on keeping borrowers a secret, yet now he carried Logan out into the stairwell without a care in the world. Logan’s concern only grew when he noticed them pass Roman’s floor. There was only one thing above the 5th floor: the roof.

Virgil had been to the roof many times as a borrower. It was peaceful, especially at night and it allowed him a quiet space to think. Virgil looked up, the stars were out and looking down below, there didn’t seem to be anyone out and about. It was just Virgil and Logan outside tonight.

Perfect.

Logan shivered, a cold breeze blowing over his head. The altitude made the air especially freezing on his tiny frame.

“Virgil, why are we up here?” Logan asked, hating the look on Virgil’s face and the fact the human wasn’t answering his questions.

Virgil didn’t answer, instead going over to the edge of the building. He did smirk at the fear in Logan’s voice though. His other plan hadn’t worked, hadn’t caused as much fear as he had hoped. Nowhere close to what he had felt. So...maybe this would.

He reached the hand holding Logan out, past the edge of the building.

A drop of five stories if Virgil were to let go.

#gt #Giant/tiny #thomas sanders #sanders sides #infinitesimal!sides #au #borrowers #virgil sanders #switched!virgil #logan sanders #switched!logan #platonic #analogical #switched perspective #part 12

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vanfics · 5 years

Text

002 - Conversation

Hello again, first of all thanks for following this blog and for the likes. Secondly, this is the second vanfic that I write, and again please correct me if there's any error. When I was writing it I didn't notice how similiar it was to Conversation -the song- just when I was checking it I realized that it was basically the same idea, lol. I know the song is about Van's dad but anyways, guess that it was stuck somewhere on my brain or something. Hope you like it, leave a comment if you want, I'd love to read what you think about it. Okay, bye. Have a nice day.

Cooking was one of your favorite things to do. Since you were a little child, you begged your mom to let you play with the kitchen utensils and copied her recipes, trying to follow her steps. She loved it, too, but it was just a hobby for her, never thought about doing it for living. You did. You studied hard, playing attention to the master chefs in the institute, practicing at home, cooking for your friends, family and yourself. Then, when you graduated as chef and found a job at one luxury hotel. It was one of your biggest achievements.

At first it was a nightmare, being young and female wasn’t the best for start. You had to prove everyone, specially your boss, that you were capable of doing your job. It was exhausting. Many times you cried hiding between the flour bags at the back of the kitchen. But besides that, it was an amazing experience. Cooking fancy food, for many people, working with a big team. It was like you won the lottery. And that’s how you met Van. The golden ticket.

That day was one of the most stressful days of your entire life. Your boss didn’t show up at work, he called saying he was sick and left you in charge. By the end of the day you almost cried of tiredness. You just wanted to go home and go directly to bed. But God or the universe, or whatever who rule the world, had other plans for you.

You told your co-workers to go home. They worked hard and were as much tired as you. They deserved to rest. You finished washing your hands and let go a heavy sigh when Lucy, the manager, appeared from the salon and gave you a fake smile.

“Do you have any knife close to you?” she asked and you frowned.

“Yeah it’s a kitchen, duh” you said, joking. She was a few years older than you and already ruled the hotel. She was usually at the night shift so you would only see her arrive when you were about to leave, but she was always nice and friendly.

“I know, but please don’t take any of it” Lucy implored “please don’t kill me”

“Why? what happened?”

“We need one more thing and then you can leave, I promise but first... “ she made a pause “I need you to cook for six people.”

Your jaw dropped.

“SIX PEOPLE?!?! It’s almost midnight are you kidding me?” your voice sounded piched.

“I wish but no” she looked serious “there’s a rock band staying here, with their crew, they came back from the show and asked for dinner, sorry, I thought you knew…”

Of course you didn’t, otherwise you wouldn’t let all your team leave you alone cooking for a bunch of people. Your boss didn’t say anything. He just left you on charge of the Titanic.

“They didn’t ask for a special menu so just do something quick and then you can go home” Lucy said as if you had a choice. You just nodded and gave her a fake smile.

Pasta. That was easy, quick and everyone loves pasta. You had a special recipe for sauce that your mom teached you. Every person who has tasted it said it was the best sauce that they ever tried. And that time wasn’t the exception.

An hour later, you were cleaning the kitchen when someone knocked the door. You stopped singing the melody that was stuck all day in your head and watched at the direction where the noise came from.

There he was. You didn’t knew him, never saw him or heard his music. He looked at you with a smile on his lips, crossing legs,one shoulder resting on the doorframe, arms crossed above his chest. Hair wet from a recent shower.

“Can I help you, sir?” you asked, still contemplating his figure.

“Sir?” he laughed “please just call me Van” he walked in your direction and stretched his hand to you “Hi.”

“Hi Van, I’m Y/N, can I help you with something?” you repeated taking his warm hand.

“Just wanted to thank you personally for the dinner. It was the best pasta I ate in my entire life, my mom would kill me if she find out that I said that to someone else, but it’s true” God, that guy liked to talk a lot, your inner voice, said.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell her” you joked, still handshaking “thanks by the way, glad you liked” then you left his touch.

His eyes scanned the empty kitchen while you studied his face details. Long eyelashes, pinked lips, freckles all over his cheeks and forehead.

“Hmm did you cooked all by yourself?” he said after a long silence, you nodded “woah, that’s amazing and hard, sorry about that” he looked really apologetic.

“Yeah it was a hard day” you replied, not explaining him all the details.

“Shit, I feel bad for you having to work till this hour just for us.”

“No, it’s fine, really. I appreciate you coming by and saying you like it, seriously. It’s what I’m here for, it wasn’t your fault.”

“Alright, love, thanks again. I’ll leave you alone, sorry to take more of your time. See you around I guess…” he sounded a little sad.

“That’s okay. You’re welcome. Have a goodnight” you said.

“You too, Y/N” he gave you a hug before leaving. You collected your coat and your bag then finally went home.

The next day was more relaxed, your boss went to work so it was much easier to do your job. You didn’t noticed how important his presence was till he was gone. You weren’t prepared for that kind of responsibility, yet.

When you left, you found Van at the front of the hotel, with his back against the fancy wall, smoking a cigarette.

“Hello, love” he said as you passed by his side, trying to hide your smile.

“Hello, Van” you replied saying his name carefully. It was a weird name.

“Finished earlier, huh?” he pushed himself with one foot, leaving a mark on the white wall. Van didn’t noticed it, his attention was on your face, reading your expressions.

“Yeah, not cooking for rock stars tonight” you joked and he laughed, and you blushed.

“Sorry about that, again” he said moving his gaze to the floor, you stood in your place “so… are you free tonight? maybe wanna get a drink or something?” he put his hair back with his fingers, and waited for your response.

“Hmm I don’t know, I’m a bit tired…”

“C’mon, just a drink, as a thank you for that amazing pasta” he smiled and you couldn’t say no.

Something about his presence was very hypnotizing. Maybe it was his eyes, or his smile, or the sound of his voice, or the way he seemed so relaxed and confident all the time, or how he made you feel nervous and comfortable at the same time. You accepted his offer, it was wednesday night and you didn’t have any plans, anyways.

You suggested a bar where you went a few times with some of your friends, after work. It was a couple blocks away from the hotel so you both went walking and chatting, while he finished his cigarette.

The place was mostly empty, just a few men chatting on a table close to the windows, and a couple kissing at the back of the place. You sat on a chair, taking off your coat, Van sat opposite, leaving his pack of cigarettes and lighter at the table. Then, the bartender asked what you were going to drink. You both said a pint, unison, and the man laughed and nodded.

“So you are in a band, huh?” you said, starting the conversation again.

One of the first things you noticed about Van was that he was a chatterer. It took him just a second to tell you all his story. He was the lead singer, he was staying at the hotel with his band, Catfish and the Bottlemen, for a few gigs in town. The night before they played and went back to the hotel and ordered dinner for all the crew. Van said that they were tired of eating fast food, that’s why they decided to eat at the restaurant.

That night was their free night, and some of his bandmates decided to go at some nightclub, the others left to visit the city but he wasn’t in the mood for any of those things. He liked going out, but something more chill. Beer, good music, cigs, that’s all he needed, he said. He loved meeting new people and new places, but sometimes he just wanted to keep it simple, it helped him to keep his feet on the ground, in his own words. The next day they’ll have another show so he wanted to rest his voice and his body. After that, they’ll move to another town to play another show, and repeat.

“Sounds exhausting” you said when he finished telling you how complicated was his schedule “I will never complain about my job, ever again” his laugh echoed on the empty pub. You didn’t knew when the rest of the customers left, you were too absorbed in what the guy in front of you were saying. The owner looked at your table from his position behind the cash register and gave you a small smile.

“You kidding? You cooked all that stuff for us and it was delicious, I can’t even- I would probably burn the water” Van said and took a sip of his second pint.

“Well, if you can burn the water let me know cause you have some kind of superpower, water doesn’t burn, it evaporates” you correct him.

“See? I don’t even know how it’s called” you laughed louder than him.

“Anyways, I don’t feel like it’s a job. For me is like a form to express myself, it’s liberating, kinda therapeutic too. I know some days, like yesterday for example, it’s more stressful but at the end of the day, I’m getting pay for doing what I love, you know?” you looked up to read his face, you never talked about that kind of stuff with anyone, Van stayed in silence for the first time in the night, looking at you, lost in his own thoughts. “Sorry, sounds stupid saying this out loud” you added, both staring at each other.

“No, no” he was back on Earth, shaking his head. He moved in his own place and cleared his throat “that’s-” he doubted “that’s the most accurate thing someone ever said, that’s exactly how I feel. I understand you, completely.” he affirmed and you smiled, feeling the heat on your cheeks. “I don’t feel like it’s a job, it’s what I love to do and I’m grateful to do it for living, not for money, though. When the public sings the lyrics that I wrote in my old notebook, right back at me when we play them live on a stage, it’s fucking mental. That’s the best feeling in the world, doing something that you love and making people feel good, at least for a moment.”

You shivered, it was like hearing your own thoughts.

“That’s exactly how I feel when people compliment about my food, maybe it sounds silly for others, but for me it means that what I made with passion makes them happy for a moment, and it’s one of the best feelings in the world” you said.

“Never thought that a gig and a meal could have a lot in common” he joked “but seriously, I know exactly what you’re saying, and it’s incredible, really. I’m glad to… found someone who share that feeling.”

“Sorry to interrupt you lovebirds” said the bartender “but it’s really late and we’re closing soon, is there any last thing you wanna drink?” he asked.

“Hmm no, it’s okay” you replied first, checking the clock on the screensaver of your phone “I probably should get going”

Van asked for the bill and you went to the bathroom before the man returned. After discussing about paying, Van gave up and let you pay the half. He said he felt bad to make you waste your money because it was his idea, and you replied that it was your beer and you’d pay for it.

“Okay… since you cooked for me and didn’t let me pay for the beer that I invited you” he said when you both stepped outside “I think that you should go tomorrow to our show.”

“That sounds fair enough” you accepted smiling wide.

“Deal” he said putting his right hand out of the pocket of his jacket, offering it to you.

“Deal” you took it, like the first time you met him. It was only one day ago, but it felt like you knew each other more than you knew yourselves.

#van mccann #vanfics #vanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #catfish and the bottlemen

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zendelai · 5 years

Text

Life Update

Aka: How I went from one of the darkest places in my life to one of the best in the span of almost exactly a year.

(This might be long, so continued below the cut)

I’m writing this thinking that no one (except for maybe my close friends on here) will read it, but my hope is that it will provide some encouragement to someone in a dark place that there’s a chance for hope, even when you’re feeling at your worse.

(TW: Talk of death upcoming)

Let’s go back to about a year ago in my life. My boyfriend’s mom was in the hospital, and she wasn’t making it out this time. The cancer won. I won’t go into details, but I will say this: cancer isn’t pretty. It takes and it takes, and to this day, her loss is a dark cloud over our lives. Grief brings bad days when you least want them or expect them. I was both inside and outside the grief, being there through every step from her diagnosis to her treatments, and I had my own grief, but I still wasn’t in the family. I just did my best to help all of them with every part of myself that I could.

About two weeks after her loss, while we tried to get ourselves back into our normal routines of our lives, I injured myself at the gym. At the time it felt like a small tweak, something I thought I’d be over in a day. It ended up being a lower back injury that bothered me for almost 8 months and made me entirely re-evaluate my approach to training. Although it was good in the end, it lead to endless days of frustration with my training and a lot of ups-and-downs when I’d think it was getting better, and then realize it wasn’t. I’d lost the gym as an outlet to my grief. Being able to go to the gym is a privilege in itself, one I’ve since checked and reflected on and become more grateful for, but it was still a coping mechanism gone for me.

Around that time, my partner and I made a difficult but important decision: I had to pay off my credit card debt. Spending at times had been therapeutic to me, and cutting it down to almost zero while taking on any side jobs I could (and eventually taking on a second job) weighed on me. I want to reflect on my privilege and know that many live like this out of necessity, and not out of choice like I did. But I still struggled with it, and often. I began to work 60 hour weeks (because my part-time job never respected my availability), plus freelancing and podcasting -- some weeks, when I was podcast editing, I was doing much closer to 80 hours. Having the two jobs and freelance writing on the side and having a podcast and trying to fit fitness in when I could... sacrifices started to have to be made. My training went on the backburner, again. My partner and I found ourselves spending significantly less time together. Time with friends and my family was infrequent. Sleep suffered.

While I was going through this money madness, I was looking for a replacement full-time position. I knew I wouldn’t have to work the two jobs to pay off my debt if I just had a better paying full-time position (and I was ready for something with more upward growth -- I had been in my full-time job for over 5 years and the raises and upward growth were non-existent). At first I had hope -- I got a couple responses! Even an interview or two! But nothing worked out. And it kept not working out. Every job that I really wanted when I applied I didn’t hear back from, everything else was too big of a sacrifice (far commute, pay cut, industry or position that I didn’t really want). I started to feel like I was trying to claw myself out of a hole using only my bare hands. No matter how much dirt I kicked aside, I couldn’t seem to get my way out. By November of last year, I was grieving, I was broke, I had no job prospects, I was spending so much time at work and I was already weak from a previous injury so my lifting sucked, I barely saw my partner and my pets.

But things began to look up.

Mid-last year, we bought a house. Which was a thrilling and terrifying decision (and the catalyst for my paying off my debt). After living in a basement apartment for years, we had a little space of our own. With a fenced in back yard for the dog, and a garage for us to build a gym in. 11 hour days are made more tolerable by coming home to a space that is yours, that you love (even if you had to buy a house in a Very White town with a neighbour that flagrantly sells pot and loudly argues with his girlfriend). For five years, I felt stuck in my debt, in my job, in my crappy basement apartment, and this was the first breath of air for us.

But January 2019 was when things started to change, and quickly.

Summer of 2018, my podcast was asked to be featured guests at Podcon. Which was... the most wild and wonderful offer that I could ever recall. It was so wild that when I was struggling, I wouldn’t look to that for positive light because I was certain they invited us accidentally and would soon realize we didn’t deserve to be there or it would somehow get cancelled because things that great didn’t happen to people like me. But in January it DID happen, and it was every bit as wonderful -- and more -- than I could’ve imagined. I got to meet my heroes, and learn from them, and they’re all 100x more incredible than you could imagine. All of them. And we had a live show in front of 100-150 people and let me tell you, having people cheer when you’re introduced on stage is... one of the most wild experiences of my life, one I’ll never forget, one I am eternally grateful for.

Shortly thereafter, I paid off my debt. The endless hours, desperate saving, doing ridiculous things like online surveys and freelance articles about plumbing all came together and I did it.

The ball kept rolling.

I had interviewed for a position in summer of 2018 that I desperately wanted that was in the fitness industry. I didn’t get the position (and later found out it went to someone who was simply more qualified than me), but at the very end of last year, the manager contacted me again asking if I was looking for a position. He took me out to lunch to discuss it, and three weeks ago, he offered me a job. With a company I adore, in an industry I'm passionate about. Today is my last day at my old position, and I’m leaving on a more positive note than I could have imagined. I only have 2 shifts left at my part-time position. Next week I start at the new job, and I’m unbelievably excited. I’m not even nervous. Maybe once you meet all your heroes and in the same weekend go on stage in front of 100+ people and play D&D everything else seems easier, or maybe I’m not nervous because I’m completely confident that it’s the right thing to do. I haven’t felt so sure of anything in a long time.

Two days after I got the job offer, my boyfriend -- now fiance -- proposed on our seven year anniversary. I think my response was “what the fuck” but it was such a joyful blur I can’t even recall fully.

Swiftly and fully, everything in my life came together.

My intention isn’t to brag. My intention is to remind you that even when you’re in the darkest part of your life -- when you feel like everything’s going wrong, when you feel like you’re working for nothing, when you feel like the hamster toiling on the wheel that turns but goes nowhere, there is hope. There is goodness on the horizon. Sometimes you have to wait for it, and sometimes that wait is longer than you’d like.

Persist.

#personal #tw: mention of death

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221bshrlocked · 6 years

Text

Bad Intentions

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Words: 4700

Warnings: Smut. NSFW gifs. Language. Lots of touching!?

A/N: Literally just an excuse to write a long, sexy, smutty therapeutic valentine piece with Bucky. Gifs not mine. Sorry if there are any typos. I have an exam tomorrow and I didn’t proofread this. Enjoy :) I’m really tired right now so I’ll reblog with the tags tomorrow.

“What do you mean you’re spending valentine’s day alone?” Natasha practically yelled at you as you stitched her up, yelping when you smacked her arm and told her to shut up.

“Can you please just, you know, for once, not fucking tell everyone how sad my life is? God damn!” You sassed back at her, shaking your head when she looked to the few people in medbay that were listening to you. “And for the record, I’m not spending it alone.”

“Drinking wine while watching ‘Never been Kissed’ doesn’t count as company Y/N!” She winced when you pinched her again. “You know what Nat, you can fix yourself. I’m done with this shit.” You stepped away from her, collecting your stuff and asking a nurse to take over.

“Y/N wait-”

“What’s going on here?” Steve walked over after getting the clear, looking back and forth between the two of you. “Y/N here is…”

“I swear to god Romanoff I know 97 ways of killing you and making it look like a fucking accident. And I know for a fact you’ll hate number 41. So shut your mouth.” You took Steve’s chart and looked over it again, trying to ignore their stares.

“All I’m saying is, you can stay here with us. We’re good company.”

“Yeah, when you’re not being an ass.” Someone snorted behind you, the sound making you turn around quickly. Great. He was here too. Probably listened to everything going on.

Bucky cleared his throat before looking away, feeling slightly uncomfortable with the way you were looking at him. Signing off on each of them, you took a few seconds to rub your shoulder, face contorting in pain because your body was not meant to be awake for 18 hours in the day.

“You alright doll?” You looked up and saw Bucky standing in front of you, the only left in the room besides the other doctors. “Honestly, not really. I was looking forward to taking the day off but then you guys came back early and I didn’t trust anyone else to be here, not when Steve and Nat are on the same mission.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Not like it’s your fault.” You tried to busy yourself with anything else, refusing to look him in the eyes because lord knows this man can have you like a puddle with just staring at you.

“I heard you earlier, when you were...when Tasha was-”

“Oh god please no. I know my life is boring right now but…”

“No no no. That’s- that’s not what I was going to say. I was just gonna offer, that is...if you want- you don’t have to say yes obviously...since you have no plans today, how about comin’ over and I give you a massage. I’ve been told I do a pretty damn good job.” Bucky was having a hard time making sense, knowing very well he was going to regret his offer either way you reply. But he just wanted to spend time with you, maybe have the balls to ask you out later.

You on the other hand, did not expect him to make such an offer. He’s only ever been quiet around you, barely attempting to prolong a conversation you went out of your way to begin.

“I- ummm…”

Bucky misunderstood your lack of an answer, shaking his head and cutting off your train of thoughts.

“Sorry I’m- that was unprofessional. Forget I said anything.” He turned to walk away when he suddenly felt you grab his wrist and tug slightly.

“Wait no!” Your actions spoke for you, setting down everything before letting go of his wrist and facing him. “I don’t want to intrude on your time.”

“Trust me doll I’d rather spend it making you feel good- I mean helping you out. H-helping you out. You wouldn’t be intruding.” Bucky’s heart fluttered at the prospect of you agreeing. When you nodded, he smiled at you, eyes showing excitement because he was finally going to spend time with you. Alone if he may add.

“I finish at six. I’ll go home and shower quickly before coming to you.”

“Or you could just shower in my room?” He didn’t mean to say that outloud because damn he just gave you an excuse to take back your answer and now he was just being a creeper.

“If you don’t mind!”

That surprised him more than you. Bucky was hoping he wasn’t reading this all wrong.

“Great that- that’s great. I,” he swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to come up with something to say before leaving, “I’ll be waiting.” He nodded quickly before walking to the door, almost scaring you when he turned around and practically yelled out his question.

“WHAt oil scent would you prefer?”

“Sorry?”

“For the massage. What would you like?”

“Oh, ummm...surprise me.” He chuckled nervously, holding tightly onto the clipboard until he just nodded and left again.

This was going to either be a really good idea, or a bad one.

You’d be lying to yourself if you said you got any work done. Every time you tried to do anything, your thoughts would shift to Bucky and the massage. God. He was going to be the death of you. Although you’ve only been working there for a few months now, you fell for him right away. From making sure that everyone was treated before him, especially Steve, to apologizing for troubling you or the other staff, to the small gestures he made, you were a goner.

He was so sweet and kind, and for some odd reason, not many people saw that side. Either the nurses were too afraid of treating him or simply didn’t like how quiet he was. It was that or having the other doctors flirt shamelessly with him. Form your point of view, he never reciprocated their advances, going as far as requesting you to take over because as he point it once “they’re too chatty.”

So when six o’clock came around, you were both nervous and excited.

“Damn it Y/N pull yourself together. You went through how many years of medical school? It can’t be worse than that!” The pep talk did absolutely nothing. And for some reason, you couldn’t tell if it was better that Bucky was on a floor by himself or not.

As the elevator doors opened to Bucky’s wing, you stepped out and took in the living room, surprised by how little there was. He seemed to have a similar taste as you: simple and homey.

“Hey!” You squealed when you heard Bucky’s voice from the hallway.

“Sorry doll. Didn’t mean to scare you.” As much as you tried not to do it, you couldn’t help but check him out. He was wearing a black, too-tight to your liking, muscle shirt with gray sweatpants. When you finally looked at him, you saw him smirking at you.

Crap you were caught!

“Sorry umm- where is the shower?” You blinked rapidly before putting your bag and jacket on the couch.

“In my room.” Bucky motioned with his hand for you to follow, feet barely creating a sound as he strutted across the tile floor. Damn he was quiet.

As soon as you walked in, you sighed at the view. He had large windows on the side, with navy curtains pulled back and giving you a perfect sight of the city. His room was just like everything else, unique and elegant.

“I left out some towels for you in there. Take as long as you want.” You nodded before walking in and gasping at how large the bathroom was. Of course it was. Tony paid for all of this!

Damn you wished you lived here. You undid the first three buttons when he knocked and walked in.

“If you want, I can wash your clothes quickly.”

“That’s fine. I usually bring spare clothes with me in case of an emergency.” Bucky licked his bottom lip, his eyes looking at the newly exposed skin before clearing his throat and walking out, shutting the door behind him.

You tried to ignore the way he was looking at you, quickly stripping and folding your clothes before stepping into the shower and letting the heat of the water wash away all your stress. Your eyes caught the purple bottle on the side, amused that for such an alpha male, he was using orchid scented shower gel. Then again, he looked like the kind of guy who needed to feel calm with every chance he got.

Bucky was pacing back and forth outside. This really did seem like a good idea earlier, but now that he had you in his room, in his fucking shower, and was about to finally touch you, he was regretting every offering.

“Come on man. You got this. She wouldn’t have agreed unless she wanted to. You gave her every chance to say no but she didn't. You could do this alright you're...fucking hell what did I get myself into?” He was about to straight up walk out and make some stupid excuse when you opened the door of the bathroom and stepped out, towel wrapped around your form and hair still wet.

His heart skipped a beat at seeing you standing there. Fuck, you looked so beautiful. Neither of you said anything for an awkward amount of time until he finally thought of words.

“Umm, you need me to walk out so you could change?”

“Well, I just assumed this was a full body massage. What’s the point in wearing anything if the oil will ruin it right?” You may have looked like you were calm but inside, you were banging on the walls. Fuck! You read this wrong. Damn it he was probably going to just kick you out now and tell you th-

“Right yeah. So just lay on the bed and I’ll be right back.” He walked out, thanking the heavens he forgot the oil on the counter outside because he really needed to take a few moments to get his shit together. You dried yourself quickly, dropping the towel on the floor before laying on your stomach on his bed. Seeing his reaction to seeing you was definitely not something you were prepared for right now.

Bucky splashed his face with some cold water and grabbed the oil, walking back to his room and almost getting a heart attack when he saw you naked on his bed.

“Fuck.” He whispered more to himself, glad you didn’t hear him.

When you felt the bed shift, your heart rate picked up. You were here, naked, in front of Bucky, about to get a fucking massage by him.

“Doll?” Bucky’s voice came out low.

“Hmm.”

“Is it okay if I used my metal hand?” You could hear the hurt in his voice, looking back at him and smiling. “To be honest, I was hoping you’d use that hand more. Cool-sensations can help relieve pain you know. Sorry I’m just rambling now-”

“No no that’s- it’s cute.”

You both looked away from each other, you because Bucky just called you cute, and Bucky because you were looking forward to feeling his metal appendage.

As soon as you felt the oil hit your skin, you felt relieved. It didn’t make any sense, probably the placebo effect or something, but knowing he was going to touch you at any moment now, that feeling in itself, was all it took to feel the stress ebb away.

Bucky gathered your hair and moved it out of the way, the smell of his shower gel hitting his nostrils and making him hard. You smelled like him and fuck it if that wasn’t the hottest thing ever…

He squirted the oil along your back and legs, barely even hitting your cheeks because he didn’t want to push you any further. As soon as he put the bottle away and rested his metal hand on your lower back while the other dug into your neck and along your back, you let out a long sigh.

And Bucky wanted to make sure he heard that sound again because damn you sounded like an angel.

“That feel good doll?” His voice was strained now, wanting to control his own noises and focus on the task at hand.

“God Bucky...your hands feel so good.”

“And we only just started darlin’.” You could hear the smile in his voice, wanting to look back at his choice of words.

His fingers were nimble, touching you in all the right places and somehow turning you into jello with every passing moment. From the way his metal fingers dug into your hips and the center of your back to his flesh hand rubbing at your neck and shoulders, you were slowly falling asleep.

Bucky was having an internal battle with himself. On the one hand, your moans were getting louder and he was sure you didn’t notice. On the other hand, he wanted to just step away and apologize for being incapable of finishing because he was afraid he was going to do something he’d regret.

“Ohhhh fuckk- James that feel so good. So so good.”

“Yeah?” His voice broke, the sound of your sighs going straight to his cock.

“You’re so good at this.” You turned slightly and smiled at him, laying your head back down on your arms before shutting your eyes.

Bucky backed away just a little before getting to work on your legs and feet. With every pressure of his knuckles and cool fingers on your worn muscles, you were sure your body was flying right now. Bucky focused on your lower legs, refusing to go anywhere near your thighs and butt but then you shifted and sighed a few times.

“Doll,” he moved closer, lightly resting his hand on one of your cheeks before he continued, “is it okay if I-”

“Go for it Buck. ‘m all yours.” You hadn’t meant for it to come out like that but there was no mistaking the toll this was all taking on you.

Bucky grabbed some of the oil again and put some on his hand, starting at your tailbone before slowly, and very carefully, squeezing your buttocks, his fingers digging deep in your skin and making you swear. You didn’t care if he heard you at this point.

He kept on repeating the same action a few times, rubbing harshly at each cheek before going past your thighs and squeezing the skin there. He was trying so hard to not look at you but you were lying beneath him and he just couldn’t help but pretend he was massaging the areas where he was “sure” you were most tense.

“Spread your legs for me sweetheart?”

You did so in a heartbeat, embarrassed at how quickly you were obeying him. He took a glimpse at your pussy, groaning when he saw how wet and ready you were for him. Fuck, you were pretty everywhere. And he wanted nothing more than to taste you.

Getting a little bold, he straddled one of your thighs shamelessly, knowing very well you could probably feel his erection against your calf muscles. Wrapping both his hands around your thighs and moving up and down, he slowly inched closed to your heat before continuing on with one hand over your ass cheek while the other grazed against your pussy.

You tried to mask your surprise but instead, it came out as a borderline pornographic moan. Bucky smirked when he felt your breath hitch, knowing he had you where he wanted but still too shy to do anything. He repeated the action over and over again, barely touching your wet lips before relieving the muscles again.

You didn’t know how long this went on for, knowing if he just applied more pressure, you were sure to come right then and there.

“Turn around for me sugar.”

Those fucking nicknames were going to be the death of you. You were so far gone in your pleasure you didn’t hear what he said, giving Bucky a boost of confidence because he didn’t lose his touch (pun intended).

Keeping his metal fingers just between your thighs and squeezing a little harshly, he leaned down until his lips were close to touching your ears. “Baby doll, please turn around for me.” That seemed to do the trick, eyes shooting open before you let out a nervous chuckle.

He stepped away so you could turn around, pretending to focus on something other than your nude form next to him.

“I’m ready,” you whispered, knowing your voice would sound like a damn flamingo if you tried to speak up.

As he grabbed the oil bottle and squeezed a fair amount on your navel, you noticed he never once looked at your breasts, opting to focus on where he was going to start because god damn it he was so close to losing control.

“Is this alright Y/N?”

You nodded quickly, shutting your eyes and keeping your arms next to you.

He started at your navel, rubbing circles under your breasts and on your sides before moving to your legs and giving each limb proper attention. You felt the pain of months’ work wash away with every touch of his hand. And my god his metal one was doing things to you. Every time it passed on your ankles and knees, you kept on thinking of what it would feel like coming in and out of your pussy. Jesus Christ that would be the best feeling in the fucking universe.

Bucky could smell how wet you were for him. He knew what he was doing to you. He knew he could have you on your knees, ass in the air in just seconds. But he was still too fucking shy to do anything about it. He was fine massaging you even though his cock was hard and throbbing in his pants.

Speaking of hard, he peeked at your upper body and couldn’t help but lick his lips at the sight of you hard nipples. Moving forward, he started at your neck like earlier, applying more pressure than before and seeing the way your breathing pattern changed whenever he grasped your neck harder than appropriate.

Maybe you weren’t so innocent after all.

Deciding he might as well do it, Bucky dragged his fingers down your breasts, circling your nipples with his thumb before grabbing your boobs and squeezing them like he did with your ass.

“Ohh f-fuck..” You hissed, not sure in pain or pleasure, as soon as he pinched each nipple. It was a sensation like nothing else, one cool hand flicking over hardened buds while the flesh one drew circles around.

You felt his thigh hit your hand, immediately grabbing onto it when he continued “massaging” your boobs. Correction, now you could come from just having him playing with your nipples over and over again.

“J-james…”

The way his name sounded rolling off your lips made him twitch in his pants. He ignored your pleas, knowing you were practically begging him to take you. Moving around, you felt the bed, opening your eyes to see him sitting on his knees behind your head, opting to work your body from a different angle.

And then it hit you. He was probably afraid of stepping out of line. Always the gentleman.

Taking matters into your own hands, you waited until he started at your arms and worked to your stomach before taking the bold route.

“Ahh fucckk d-doll wha- what’re you doin’?” Bucky was having a hard time breathing, looking down and seeing your tongue dart out through your plump lips and suck on his dick through his sweatpants. He could see a wet spot forming, not sure if it was because of your lips or because of how close he was to coming just from touching you.

“Shit- baby baby you- you don’t have t- ahh fuck,” sis voice was strained, hands going straight to your breasts and pinching harder than earlier.

“James...please- please.” You whined, looking up innocently at him before you grabbed him through his sweatpants and squeezed hard, hips bucking against your fingers before he growled and stepped away. You misunderstood his actions, about to sit up and apologize when you saw him taking off his clothes and pulling your ankles. Bucky lost all inhibitions, aggressively pushing your thighs wide open before settling between them and covering your entire body with his.

He didn’t waste any time, crashing his lips with yours and swallowing your moans and whimpers. Your hands flew to his hair, pulling and scraping his neck and making him growl into the kiss.

“Fuck baby girl, you don’t know what you do to me.” He rutted against your core, body slowly becoming slippery because of how close he was to you. “Wanted you for so long,” he kissed down your neck, “and now that I have you,” biting and licking your nipples while pinching the other one harshly, “I can’t hold back.” Bucky pulled away, making you gasp because of how direct his stormy blue eyes felt staring at you.

“Don’t. Don’t hold back. Please.” Under any other circumstance, you would’ve felt ashamed because of how whiny you were. But this was Bucky, and you’ve wanted him for god knows how long. And he was about to fuck you.

“You sure doll?” Even when you were offering yourself, he was still a gentleman, not wanting to push you towards anything you’d later regret.

“James. I’m yours. I’ve been yours since the day I saw you. Please.” Your hands roamed his back, fingernails digging into his shoulders and pulling him closer to you, afraid he was going to pull away.

“Fuck darlin’. You’re so perfect.” Bucky winked at you, kissing your roughly before flipping you over on your stomach. “On your knees Y/N.” You scrambled in seconds, looking back and seeing him pump himself a few times before looking at you.

“Ready?” He asked again, knowing if you said no at this point, he might just die. When you whimpered and nodded, he rubbed your pussy a few times before easing himself through your lips, the oil making it much easier to slip inside you.

And fuck were you thankful for that. He was bigger than anyone you’ve ever had, filling you up so perfectly and only stopping just to make sure you were okay. Bucky almost lost it when your muscles clenched around him. You were so much better than he could ever imagine.

“Baby doll. You feel so fucking hot and tight. Shit...relax for me sweetheart. You’re doin’ so well love just- you gotta...ahh god! You gotta relax for me.” Bucky pulled back slowly before thrusting in again, hands going to your hips and squeezing so hard you were sure you would have bruises tomorrow.

“James...oh my god James!” You couldn’t hold back anymore, his name coming out like a prayer every time he pushed deeper and harder into you.

“I know doll. I know.” You could tell he was holding back, your mind wishing you could tell him to let go but knowing he might not be ready for that just yet.

He picked up the pace, his breathing pattern matching yours and suddenly becoming more strained by the second. To have you here, in his bed, so open and ready for him and loving every second for it...he didn’t know how he deserved this. Deserved you. But he was committing this to memory, afraid this was just all in the heat of the moment for you.

He was going to memorize your body, from the way your back arched against him with every drag of his cock against your walls, to the way your tits bounced with every thrust of his hips.

“Ah god! Y/N....such a good girl for me. Shit.” There was so much he wanted to say. So much he wanted to tell you. But he was afraid to open up, afraid you’d turn him down politely and pretend this was just something for the occasion.

But somewhere deep down, he wanted to believe your little sighs and moans and whispers. He wanted to believe when you said you were his.

“Bucky- I...need more. Please...just-” You didn’t know what you were trying to say but he seemed to get the point, pulling out of you and turning you on your back again before leaning down and kissing you. Holding you with one his metal arm, his hand moved between your bodies and rubbed at your clit before entering you again. You bit his lip as soon as you felt his thumb work your bundle of nerves, mouth falling wide open when he pulled away and looked at you.

“Sweetheart...you look so pretty falling undone. Wish I could stay here forever.” His words didn’t fall unnoticed by you, hands intertwining in his hair before you wrapped your legs around his backside. He moved slower this time, relishing the way his cock dragged against your clit with every buck of his hips. He whispered encouraging words in your ears, noticing how close you were when your walls felt tighter and tighter around him.

“You gonna come for me love? Let me feel you come on my cock doll. Squeezing the shit outta me Y/N fuck- please tell me you’re close baby?”

All you could do was grab onto him harder, your labored breaths letting him know he was driving you over the edge. With a few more rough passes over your clit, you saw white, your orgasm hitting you somehow unexpectedly before you cried out his name over and over again. Bucky felt like he was flying on cloud nine, his name rolling off your lips like the sweetest prayer.

Pushing up just a little, he saw pleasure wash through you, face contorting when he kept going to try and prolong your orgasm. Before you knew it, you felt that same flutter in your stomach again, walls fluttering around him harder before he pulled out and rubbed his cock on your clit. As you opened your eyes and took him in, you were sure you died and went to heaven. He looked so wrecked, possibly as wrecked as you felt, hand pumping his cock and rubbing it on your clit, making your hips meet his little motions. Bucky growled, actually growled, when he came on you, hot spurts of cum shooting out of his cock onto your stomach, and the sight of him looking so fucking angelic made you come again, pussy clenching around nothing until his hand came to a stop and fell on you.

You didn’t know how long this silence went on but you didn’t care. He was kissing and rubbing your neck, smiling when you mirrored his actions on his shoulder and hair.

“Can I tell you something?” He started, moving closer until he was nuzzling in your neck and sighing when you wrapped your arms around him.

“Yeah.”

“My intentions weren’t as pure as I’d like them to have been when I invited you over.” You chuckled at his words, trying to come up with something as clever as what he just said.

“I’m glad they weren’t. I’ve been trying to get your attention probably since I started working here. You never seemed to be interested so I just-”

“I am interested. I’ve never been so interested in anyone before doll.” He sat up a little, looking into your eyes to make sure you believed him.

“In that case, how about we go for some dessert later?” You touched his cheeks, feeling the scruff under your fingers and smiling when he moved against the palm of your hand.

“Sweetheart, my dessert is right here.” Bucky chuckled before he kissed his way down your stomach, slowly pushing your thighs open and winking at you when you caught onto his words.

“Happy Valentine’s day to me.” You managed to say before he turned your diction into a few ‘ums’ and ‘ohs.’

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