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#victimless
dragonomatopoeia · 5 months
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i'm always a bit unsettled by disdain for intellectual or creative labor in leftist spaces. there's this commonly held belief that academics are a bunch of rich old white men, rather than a wide variety of people who are barely getting by. most lecturers in universities are adjuncts living paycheck to paycheck. authors make very little money as a general rule. most researchers are overworked and underpaid. and yet there's still this idea that academics are overcompensated to sit around and smoke cigars together while making shit up
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listen up y'all
what are you gonna do now that soap2day is gone? you are gonna find yourself another free site to watch things on, thats what. *how* are yall gonna do that? im gonna tell you, **as long as you have an adblocker** (if you use firefox there are a bunch of good ones ive used but currently i recommend adblocker ultimate)
1. google "watch [movie/show] for free online". a list of sites will come up. some are illegal streaming sites. some are not. you figure out which is which mostly by clicking on them
2. if nothing useful comes up, scroll to the bottom of the page. check page 2 of google search results
3. if *that* doesnt work, scroll back to the bottom of page 1. therell probably be some bs disclaimer about them removing search results because of copyright claims, and itll provide a list of the complaints. click on one of these complaints
4. after being taken to the complaint page, scroll down to where it says "allegedly infringing urls" and copy+paste those urls, one by one, to see if any work. in all likelihood one or two will but most wont. rinse and repeat with each "complaint" link until you find one that works and doesnt seem likely to take control of your computer or something
5. when youve found a site, dont go blasting its name all over the internet, for the same reason im not just *telling* you the sites *i* use. yeah, share it with your friends and family, but you dont want to draw more attention to it. this might just be me being a bit paranoid but whatever
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macfrog · 3 months
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if I said I loved u what would u say back
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scarecade · 6 months
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i just heard the argument that all piracy is bad because its illegal and it just annoyed me so much that someone could have that stance without caring to hear any nuance to the contrary.
"its a slippery slope into pirating from small artist just trying to make a living" no the fuck it isn't. it should be fucking obvious that pirating from small indie creatives is bad and not the same as pirating from a big corporation. pirating official wizards of the coast source books is not the same as pirating kobold press source books. i don't know how you can equate the two at all.
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theindescribable1 · 7 months
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Lol, im imagining him screaming, "CAROL!!! GIVE ME MY DAMN PHONE!"
HE WAS!!! So I had to lock him in a closet and make him listen to me spam shitposts!
HAHA SUCK TO SUCK!
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miraphoenix · 5 months
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Right off the bean, this is not a callout post. I'd talk to the person this is about 1-on-1, but a) he's had me blocked for 4 years, and b) it's mutual. This is me venting on my personal blog, something that he decided to vague about me doing back when I had my first blog.
With that out of the way. I'm really fucking tired of people stealing from Valenth/Revecroir, and from its creator.
Years and years ago, when they were a literal child, my bff/queer life partner--for the purpose of this post, their name is Leupai--made lizard-critters with hands on their tongues and called them leupaks. Eventually, they ended up splitting off from Subeta where they worked at the time, making an affiliated petsite called Valenth where the leupaks featured quite prominently as creatures in a fantasy-meets-steampunk world.
Unfortunately, their boss was a piece of work, and following a rather large kerfluffle involving another petsite lifting other elements of my partner's work (namely, a dragon concept and a companion concept), my partner was fired by the Subeta head boss. The leupaks were renamed into leupai, and Valenth expanded into Revecroir. This was in 2014, give or take a few months.
Through about half of the Valenth era and into the Revecroir era, Leupai was dating someone else, who went by Sixar at the time, later Kismeti, and the two had a long-distance open relationship. Kismeti also did a fair amount of site art for Valenth, and described himself as Leupai's biggest fan; when he'd met Leupai originally, his username referenced leupaks, he had a bunch of leupak characters, and a leupak sona. I met both of them in 2013-2014, right around the close of Valenth, and started chatting with them both. Leupai was more responsive, Kismeti was more reserved, but I did the best I could.
Over the years, I kept trying to reach out to Kismeti, but found that Leupai was honestly more willing to talk with me, so I did become better friends with them. Note that I was friends with Leupai, and trying to be friends with Kismeti. We chatted, we sent memes, we played World of Warcraft, I bought folks pizza across the Pacific Ocean, you know the drill.
Through this, I became really familiar with Leupai's world, at that point named Revecroir. I got to know their lore, their worldbuilding, their current projects, and the leupai creatures themselves.
The leupai were--and are!--still fat lizards with paws on their tongues, who can open portals between worlds with acid in their claws, who transfer their consciousnesses to other bodies if one is destroyed, and whose strength comes from the realm of dreams and creativity. In the early days, in lore that wasn't publicized, leupai were roaming around to find a world to live on after Valenth. This was a project that was supposed to be worked on with Kismeti, but nothing really ever came of it. Eventually, Leupai kind of moved on from that storyline to write more about Revecroir itself.
At the same time, I tried asking Kismeti about his worldbuilding, because he had characters and allegedly a world of his own, but didn't really get a lot in the way of answers. I saw a lot of Sonic fanart, I saw a lot of homestuck, I saw a lot of MLP:FiM, I saw a lot of Captain Planet. Eventually, I kind of... Gave up asking? And that's on me, but frankly, if you ask someone to share their stuff and they don't share their stuff, I figure that's the signal to stop asking.
As time went on, though, I was seeing some cracks forming in the 10-year relationship between the two, and I was helping Leupai through a lot. I watched as he yelled at my best friend for not responding to messages fast enough. I watched as he made plans with Leupai and then fucked off to do other things for hours, leaving Leupai in the lurch and worried about his physical safety. I watched as he gaslit Leupai about their ability to use a computer. On one memorable instance, when Leupai's internet was unstable while we were all playing WoW together, Leupai left the voice call to go reset the router, and Kismeti decided that it was a great time to shit-talk Leupai's intelligence to me. For a half hour straight. Until Leupai rejoined the call.
Eventually, I visited Leupai in person and watched as they were broken down to tears by Kismeti failing to respect their boundaries for literal hours, until Leupai caved to Kismeti's preferences. That was a rough night, and I remember wondering why the fuck my best friend's partner was treating them so badly.
About a month and a half after I visited Leupai, they decided to break up with Kismeti, because they'd had enough of him verbally berating them for not responding fast enough to memes sent over instant message, among so many other things. He, to put it mildly, lost his shit.
(For the record, I know what went down, because Leupai had me read the messages sent back and forth, to make sure they were grounded, and were reading things right. I've seen logs going back 10 years. His original vague accused me of not knowing what I was talking about, but boy howdy I was either there, or have read the raw logs.)
Anyway, he begged for Leupai back. Leupai gave him a chance that he fucked up within a day. Leupai said goodbye and blocked him. He then started messaging me about this on discord, clearly trying to use me as a go-between to get to Leupai.
At the time, I was going through some Complex Feelings about my own abuse by various people in my life, triggered by his behavior, so was reblogging a lot of support stuff on my original blog. I guess he decided this was vaguing about him, because he made a vaguepost accusing me of not knowing all the details (unbeknownst to him, I'd read everything) and finally blocked me.
I figured this chapter in my life was done at this point, and moved the fuck on. Made a new blog because I didn't feel like getting all his shit off my old one, moved across the country, got a new job, the whole shebang. Leupai and I entered our odd QPP/partners/bffs/???? phase, and I genuinely didn't think much about him, unless I was helping listen to Leupai talk about stuff they'd gone through with him.
Until this year. When I saw some comment of his break containment and end up on my dash, under the name "riftclaw". I had a bit of an inkling, so I broke my "don't look" rule and looked at the linked toyhouse to confirm it was really him.
Turns out, riftclaws are... Lizard creatures. Who open portals between worlds with acid in their claws. Who are looking for a new world to call their own. And who have some divine properties, that may involve body switching.
And all of Kismeti/riftclaw's old leupai characters are now riftclaws.
Oh, and he was planning to make them into a closed species. To make money off them.
Now, leupai were decently popular back in the day. I still have leupai characters, and make some periodically from time to time. There's a tag on tumblr and everything; if you're reading this, there's a decent chance you remember Vee yourself, as a fair number of my followers were there too. People still talk about Valenth from time to time. Leupai still has a folder of old fanart from back in the day with some 800 pieces of art in it. They were, by all accounts, successful until they weren't.
But the height of popularity was back when Vee was still around, in the late 2000s and early 2010s. The only new stuff in the tags is from an archive blog of old Vee assets.
Despite that, though. And I know this from messages between the pair, I know that Kismeti tore into Leupai repeatedly for "being more popular" and "having more eyes on their work". Even though "those eyes" didn't keep Leupai fed or housed, or really give them any income. Even though "those eyes" meant getting 50 notes on a tumblr post as opposed to 20. Even though "those eyes" just increased thievery and the constant pressure to be a Content Creator(tm), and were a major part of what drove Leupai off the internet entirely starting in 2018.
So imagine. Imagine for a moment. Being so hungry for clout and attention. That you steal your ex-partner's species concept that they've had since they were literally 8 years old, barely file off the serial numbers, and then make that your entire online persona four full years after your partner broke up with your ass twice for being an abusive piece of shit over a 10-year timeframe.
To borrow my own tags from this post, which got me thinking about all of this again?
#This is all to say; if you're jealous of someone else's success? Fine. Go have your emotion. But don't lift their shit.#Your emotions are valid; your actions aren't.
(Oh, and this is the smallest thing in the world, the least important piece of this? Riftclaws are already a thing from a game released in 2016 called Grim Dawn.)
#phoenix sounds#leupai#leupak#Valenth#Revecroir#I have a lot of feelings and a lot of emotions and a lot of frustration#Leupai's had their shit stolen three times now#Once when they were a kid; once by another petsite#And now once by their ex#Which is just... Honestly? I guess they've got an original idea because everyone else seems to be cribbing it#This is why the Revecroir setting's forever private now though#Leupai got run off the internet by this kind of thing (and much worse) and they're staying gone now#And this whole hbomberguy vid thing about plagiarism is just making me think about... How many people this impacts#How many artists have had their shit lifted and stolen by someone and how crushing that is#How many people that disenfranchises and removes from communities#I can attest that Revecroir is flourishing but it will *never* be seen again by outside eyes because of the repeated thefts#How many more things are like that I wonder? How many people stop making all together because of this sort of thing?#Ties into the sssniperwolf shit from a few months ago where she was freebooting stuff from much smaller creators and claiming it was hers#In her case we do know that there were small creators who stopped making after she stole their shit for millions of views on youtube#So it's not like this is some victimless crime#Anyway I think the constant searching for clout/visibility/reach/whatever the term de jour is?#Has made everything unfathomably worse in terms of theft and plagiarism#And to confront the latter we have to remove the former
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lemongogo · 1 year
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wheres that post that talked ab vash’s conscious refusal to kill despite his desire to do so several times throughout the manga . it was such a good read on his deliberate commitment to pacifism and how its like .. smth he actively works towards as opposed to it being some inherent quality of his
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cpericardium · 3 months
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I think it's unconscionable that you're allowed to be an illiterate english teacher who can't read due to your literal illiteracy. Your literary illiteracy doesn't help either, ya dang bozo. How do you sleep at night? How did you get your job? Can I have it?
I have no idea what you're saying. Does anyone know what this guy is saying. Whatever it is, he's lying
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true-autistic-tales · 2 months
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inspired by @/everyponie's art :3
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leslie057 · 3 months
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9a + 9b please 🙏
hello! thank you for the lovely combo
prompt game posted here
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9a + 9b = call me lover + but one is pouting
word count: 3.7k
It isn’t right that she’s sad today, even less right that she’s playing up the sad, and that in doing this she hopes to work guilt into every part of him, like water into clay, like honey into comb.
Given their extra-special circumstances, she knows she shouldn’t be anything more than mildly annoyed with him about his inability to pronounce girlfriend. And that has to be the issue, pronunciation, because why else would he shy away from such an innocent word? There’s no reasonable excuse. It’s an easy statement to make: look, my girlfriend’s here. He can do it, with the same ease that he labels everything else of his, he can do it. It’s my camera, my spatula, my turn to drive, my shirt not yours and you can’t have it…all his, until she’s involved. No, they don’t own each other. But sometimes you have to lay claim to things in life.
You just have to.
He paints houses. Every day in West Somerville he does, from nine to dinnertime. Watertown and Brookline, too. But mainly Somerville, especially Winter Hill. Interior, exterior, deck, door, and drywall. Expensive houses, cheap houses, new and old houses, houses with picket fences. It’s just what Emerson is looking for, a teenage boy who really knows his way around a…picket fence?
But the gap year thing is okay, and he’s still here with her as she navigates everything, even if he didn’t want to apply for college until it was way too late. He can apply for next year.
He moved away, far away just for her, no college waiting for him at the end of the journey, willing and able to be the slow tagalong Somerville boy to her busy Boston girl. And they get to live together. Harmony of opposites applies, as it always has. His loyalty means the world, and for what it’s worth, he is the best rated decorator Lovell Painting’s ever had. Very committed to the job.
But now Mr. Lovell doesn’t know she’s his harmonious opposite, doesn’t know she’s the girl he’s bringing home the bread to (not a lot of bread, but so much more than you’d expect someone to get for slinging paint) (then again, there’s probably no slinging involved, because Jonathan clearly believes there is an art to the task) (he has a weird way of leaning into unbeaten paths, finding purpose in hushed, forgettable places) (it’s lovable, is what it is, when she manages to push away the feeling that he’s missing out by not being in school).
No, Mr. Lovell doesn’t know who she is, because her boyfriend didn’t say. Couldn’t bring himself to say. Couldn’t bring himself to say the G word.
She’d asked Lauren from the student paper to take her to him after class. She missed him, plus she thought he shouldn’t be all alone on his way back home. He does plenty of lonely driving throughout the week. And since Lauren does everything for everyone, she actually said yes. Fifteen minutes later, Nancy was at a place she’d never been before. Here they were at the end of October, and she hadn’t been. She had no idea where her five star trades-boy turned in his paintbrush at the end of the day.
She’d wandered in, into the little white office that likely used to be a shed, all open windows and whirring box fans and latex fumes. On a stool, he filled out his timesheet. She gave him a hug around the neck from behind, avoiding the sensitive surface of his sunburned arms.
Made him jump, then made him relax.
“Sorry, I knew that would scare you. I’m not trespassing, am I?”
“No, you—no, not trespassing at all. What time is it?”
She tilted her head sideways and consulted her watch. “5:11,” she said. Tilted her head more, more, more, trying to kiss his jaw and its underside.
Hung over his shoulders like that, she took her first deep breath of the day. Tendrils of dried paint stretched across his shirt collar and sleeves, the kind of spiderweb splatters that don’t come out in the wash. She watched him jot down a couple light-handed notes in all capital letters. His name was everywhere on the page and highlighted in some instances, an indication of overtime work. She had felt weird then for being judgy—felt bad—thinking maybe there was a chance he was where he needed to be. Not school, right here. Humble, dependable, and first-rate.
Then Mr. Lovell came in.
And ruined everything.
“Jonathan, you heading out soon?”
“Oh, right now, actually. Turns out we can’t pick up anything until tomorrow morning. Like, anything at all, they said.”
“Yikes. Oh well, then.”
“Apparently our order got delayed because of the tight space rollers.”
“Hm. Tight space rollers, they never have them in, do they?”
“No, sir, never. They never ever have anything below a 6 inch.”
She stayed still, reading the room. Gauging the boss. Lovell didn’t seem to mind her or her public display of affection. He was a youngish man, son to the original Mr. Lovell of Lovell Painting, tall and nonchalant with the look of a relatable salesman.
“Hey. Jake Lovell,” he finally said to her. “Don’t think I’ve met you before, how’s it going?”
“Hey, good, thanks.” In the subsequent silence she waited. Waited for what was sure to come. Oh yeah, sorry, this is my girlfriend, Nancy. This is Nancy, we just moved in together. This is the girl I told you about, Nancy Wheeler. We’ve been dating for almost two years. She’s the best. Nancy is the best. Hey, guess what, my girlfriend Nancy once repainted her little sister’s dollhouse from top to bottom, think we should hire her next?
He kept his mouth shut.
“I’m Nancy,” she sighed.
“Oh, okay, you’re Nancy.”
Had he heard the name before? If he had, that must have been all he heard. His eyes were brimming with confusion.
“That’s me,” she said and untangled herself from her betrayer, the one she’d been draped over like some sleepy starfish.
Starfish didn’t want to cling anymore.
“She’s Nancy,” he’d mumbled while clearing off the desk.
The eldest in the room clocked the tension between them. “Well, you know it was nice to meet you, Nancy, but I’ve gotta get going. Be careful around the mess, you look very professional in those clothes.”
She slid her hands down the sides of her thighs, black slacks swishing above high heels.
“You look very…casual, Mr. Lovell. Guess we’ll see you later.”
And that was it.
And that was then. This is now: now, she is pouting. The most pathetic pouting session she's had to date. This is textbook manipulation pouting and then some, this is wallowing in the events of the afternoon like they involved theft, fraud, and murder.
Is she putting on a performance here? Yes, duh, of course she is. But is she down about what he said (and didn’t say) earlier? Also yes. That part is real. He did make her sad.
Yes.
Lucky for her, she’s got tricks in her bag.
Exactly four tricks, to be precise, for this type of situation. One, a shower—a shower taken earlier than usual. To get away and to get out of restrictive clothing (restrictive clothing doesn’t mix well with sadness). No more black slacks, no more newsgirl blouse. No jewelry either, it’s totally unnecessary. Unless…keep your necklace on, if you want, since that can be played with. Really you just have to remember that comfort is what works. Wet hair is what works. An XL shirt works, and peach soap works, and so does a frown, and so does a thick pair of socks, for whatever reason.
Two is a book. Not a short book, pick a long book. Flip to the beginning to read. Beginnings are hard to get through, and he knows it. He will empathize. Three, lack of light. The less light in the room, the better. Not only have you chosen to start a long book after 5pm without having even eaten dinner, you’ve chosen to do so without sufficient reading light. That’s true misery.
Four, the most important trick, is a bad record. Just awful. It needs to be scratched, it needs to skip. Needs to skip a lot. Your record should make other records worry about where they’ll be in ten years. Jonathan Byers doesn’t want this for you; if you are his favorite person, and listening to music is the best thing anyone can do, your tolerance of a broken record will rile him. You deserve better. He will want to compensate for all the hurt caused by your subpar listening experience.
“Nancy?” he says from the doorway.
“Mhm.”
“Good shower?”
“Sure. Good shower.”
“You beat me to it.”
It’s an understatement. Without a word, she had headed for the shower. Very first thing she did when they got to the apartment. She went to turn the water on, still wearing her shoes, and waited for it to get hot, and never once looked back.
She curls in on herself on the bed, avoiding his gaze. “Since when did you decide you have first dibs on everything?” she murmurs to her book. To Middlemarch.
“Uh, no, it's not that, I just meant that I’m…pretty paint-y, at the moment. You know?”
The response is delivered innocently, harmlessly, lightly, and she almost considers backing down, ditching the majority of her plan or maybe all of it. Almost considers, before deciding against. (She has to soldier on; his adorable use of a made-up word doesn’t fix a thing, now does it?)
“Right.”
“There’s so much primer on my hands, it’s the worst feeling in the world. It’s so bad. It’s like…it’s like if someone brushed plaster right onto my palm and then let it harden. Overnight.”
“Mhm.”
A break in the tense conversation comes and gives those background noise record screeches their moment to shine. Leaning on the doorframe, he winces.
“So,” she shifts her body until the blanket slips, “did you need something, or…”
Their eyes meet. His are sleepy–his are suddenly charged with doubt, two dark wells of worry.
“No, nothing, I don’t…it…it seems like you might be the one that needs something?”
She huffs. It seems like she needs something? For that she won’t go easy on him. A fake cry might cross her mind, if she were a psychopath, but fortunately for both of them she’s not. Sincere regret is already cocooning her, compacting itself with each passing minute, a dense shroud of claustrophobic ickiness. Not always as fun as you’d plan for: guilt tripping someone who’s hopelessly devoted. Really, how hard is it to have a mature conversation about the way you feel neglected in this one marginal area of the relationship, even though you’re well taken care of in all the others. Very hard, it turns out. Very very hard.
And besides, this is how the Jonathan and Nancy network operates. She uses her upset to make weird power moves. He lies about his upset altogether. The system is what it is.
“If you care so much, figure it out yourself.” It’s a feeble whisper, accessorized with the twitch of her bottom lip and an arbitrary sniffle. She flips over to the eighth page of Middlemarch. Pulls her blanket back up over her waist. The leftover scent of her body wash is strong, so strong, even in her own nose. It’s like peach sorbet and paint thinner had a baby in their bedroom.
“Nancy…”
His voice has that deconstructed softness in it, gentle yet desperate, which is highly familiar. He uses it constantly. That’s the trick in his bag, but she’s not quite sure he knows it’s a trick. Because of it, the whole stay-mad-at-him project isn’t gonna be smooth sailing. She swallows hard, necklace pendant between her fingers.
“Hey, what happened?” He steps closer to the bed and uncrosses his arms. “This isn’t…it isn’t about Lauren, right?”
Oh, wow. Okay. Clueless.
“Because you really do ask her for a lot of favors, and I know she’s always happy to do them, but just…maybe don’t make her drive out there again. Not when I’m literally clocking out.”
“Oh…” She closes her book and fixes her eyes on the window. That one actually does make her want to cry.
“No, don’t,” he pleads, “don’t do the sad oh thing. You’re gonna make me sad. You’re gonna break me.”
The sigh that escapes her is fully authentic in its lethargy. Her fingertips play over the pillow under her head and its silky case. “Sorry, it’s just that now you think I take advantage of Lauren and you don’t like to see me at work, so.”
“No, I love to see you, I had no idea you would come after class just for that. It was really nice.”
“Yeah, so nice—”
“Until you ignored me in the car, yes!”
Hugging her own waist, she draws up her knees. God, that record…it should be physically impossible for ABBA to ever sound bad but this is pushing it. How truly depressing.
She imagines that the invisible thread connecting his heart to hers is starting to fray at this point; those grating sounds in his ears, the mix of chemicals on his skin, the intentionally seductive nature of her pity party, the annoying flicker of the lamp in the corner (only thing the previous tenants left behind when they moved, the sole forgotten object). All of it must be torturing him.
He picks up her book off the mattress, leaves it in the windowsill to—sunbathe? Who knows, honestly.
"Look,” he says, “I think we might need to take a second before we get into this. Do you want me to leave you alone for a minute? Would that help, or no?”
Apprehensively he reaches down, down to touch her shoulder, sort of…petting her, a few times. What you’d do if you found a wild jaguar in your backyard, but it was a really sweet looking jaguar.
When she doesn’t bite, he bravely makes eye contact with her. “You just have to tell me what you want, that’s all I need.”
(Such a good boyfriend when he’s trying. Holy shit.)
Fearful that the affection wave will show on her face, she flips over, switching sides. “Want you to lay down,” she mumbles.
Well that wasn’t part of the plan.
She listens for his reaction. A deep breath in, a deep breath out. “I’m filthy, you do realize that.”
“We’ve gone to bed wearing monster blood…”
He shrugs his jacket off.
(So, the summer had been a violent ride. Summer of ‘86, filed away in her brain with the rest of her nightmare inventory forever. All’s said and done now. Maybe they’re finally safe. God, please.)
It takes them a sec to get settled, but he hems her in, wraps her up, holds her close without any further begging. It’s crazy satisfying. Plaster-rough hand curls around her ribs under her shirt, and his nose brushes her neck. Antsy, she shuffles her feet together, scrunched socks keeping her warm.
“You genuinely—”
“Smell so good?” she predicts.
“Yeah.”
“New soap.”
“Ten out of ten.”
“Well, you know, it’s not formaldehyde, but what is?”
“Give me some slack,” he murmurs, “not my fault all my passions involve chemicals.”
Painting houses is his passion now? Alright, good to know. It’s that, developing photos, and being so much of a dummy he forgets to introduce his girlfriend to his boss when they first meet.
Again: exactly the kind of boy Emerson is looking for.
A minute later he’s kissing her neck.
Yeah, not sure how that happened.
After taking his first few tastes, he quickly stops himself. “Wait, can I do this?” he wonders aloud.
“I’ll let you decide. Do you think you should be doing that?”
“I don’t know. On the one hand,” he places a soft kiss at the base of her throat, “I still haven’t figured out what’s going on with you.”
Her eyelids flutter. “And on the other?”
Mouth barely open, he drags the tip of his tongue across her collarbone in one slow slide. “On the other I think—”
She fails to repress a squeaky whimper, which makes him falter.
“…that doing this could maybe, just maybe, help me get information out of you.”
She’s lost her breath so fast. “Decisions, decisions,” she manages to get out.
Second option wins him over. Next he’s tangling up his hand in her wet hair, kissing her neck like there really is peach sorbet to be found in her pores. He hums while getting acclimated to the malleability of her damp skin, impossibly supple malleability, and lingers with his mouth at her pulse point before giving in and sucking on it, not hard enough to make a bruise, but enough to make blood rush to her head.
She grabs the back of his neck in an attempt to stay anchored and from there he surrenders, from there he lets her force the path that his lips map out on her. Chapped but sticky with spit, they part and purse on her jaw, softly massaging the bone.
“Please can we get you a new album soon,” he whispers, “this is painful.”
“Hm?”
“The record’s a disaster, throw it away.”
“Don’t tell me to throw my things away,” she slurs weakly.
Her thigh catches his hip, and she bucks a little, rocks a little. Nothing crazy, just dirty. She can’t help herself.
“Tell me what upset my girlfriend and I won’t say anything ever again for the rest of my life.”
-
There it is. Jesus, it’s what she wanted. See, there’s no pronunciation issue after all. Girlfriend. His girlfriend.
She goes perfectly still. He may not realize she’s all shook up inside, but he notices the outward change, that’s for sure.
Time to get into it.
She takes a moment to prepare herself. “Are you ready to listen?”
“I’ve been ready, Nance.”
“Okay. It wasn’t about Lauren,” she spills, “Lauren and I are fine. We didn’t have a fight, we’ve never had a fight, and after she dropped me off today she told me she likes the drive to Middlesex because the roads are so smooth and driving calms her down and she gets sick of being in Boston, and I promise I’m not lying when I tell you this, but she offered to take me again tomorrow, I swear to you she did.”
“Okay, I believe you—”
“Though now I’m thinking I don’t even want to take her up on the offer, because me being there was clearly an unwanted change that didn’t exactly mean anything to anyone, and if you seriously don’t know what made me switch up today I need you to ask yourself how you think my conversation with your manager made me feel earlier.”
“You’re upset because of…something Mr. Lovell said?”
He’s so lost.
“No, because of what you said.”
“And what did I say?”
“It’s what you didn’t say. Jonathan, you didn’t tell him who I was. You didn’t introduce me at all.”
“I’m—sorry, you…you introduced yourself, why would I need to—”
“He doesn’t know you’re dating me.”
“But he does? It’s kind of obvious, isn’t it? Without words?”
“No! Not without words. For all he knows I’m some random girl you met on the street, next thing you know he’ll be setting you up on dates with his niece and scheduling you to work Valentine’s Day. You’re supposed to be upfront about us and you never, ever are. Why aren’t you?”
His turn to pout now. He rests his head on her shoulder. “I don’t know? Sometimes it feels like…”
The gears in his brain go on and on, and his blush deepens. “Like fishing for attention.”
“Well that’s why I’m sad, you’re why I’m sad. You don’t want attention, so you don’t call me your girlfriend. Maybe once a month, if that. You don’t call me your girlfriend a lot and I love when you call me your girlfriend. There’s nothing unclear about a word like that."
“I…can do better, I didn’t know it was a big deal to you. That I say it more.”
“Duh, I don’t wanna feel invisible. I want you to talk about me.”
Her heart pounds with the energy of the moment, with surfacing reminders of how different they are. The silence expands around them, his breathing shallow. This is really the first time it’s dawning on him, the depth of her need for validation? Maybe she forgot that acknowledgment of their relationship outside their private bubble is not something he would go for without being asked. Maybe she forgot.
"So it’s not the word,” he says, “it’s telling people?”
“I like privacy, I do, but what’s between us needs to be something others can see. Something they don’t have to guess on.”
Yeah, keeping their peers guessing in high school was good. Low-key meant less harassment, fewer problems. Having said that, high school is gone forever.
He nods. “I get it. I'll get it, eventually. I’ll try.”
“Okay. Good. Thank you.”
Though the conflict isn’t totally resolved, it kind of feels resolved for tonight. At least that’s what her hormones want her to go with, shifting back and forth, this way and that, residing on the rockiest of tectonic plates that have been calibrated to him for longer than he knows. As strange as her first two months of college have been, as many messes as they’re making in their relationship, she has infinite confidence in the Jonathan and Nancy network. All things considered, this is the right time to be messy, they’ll have plenty of room to clean up the love when they’ve grown up. Fighting isn’t fun but…it feels amazing to know he’s in this with her, wading out to her in the swell of their mature immaturity, sticking up for young love even after their conflict resolution turns chaotic.
He loves her, and whenever she’s blue, he begs her to let him fix it. Neither of them rest easy until the blue gets painted over.
“Hey, girlfriend?”
She breathes out a laugh. “What?”
“Since we’re sharing…”
She tilts her head back, pushes her nose against his gently. “Careful, don’t say something you shouldn’t.”
“I really like it when you use your revenge soap against me. Very evil, but I like it.”
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me: knitting for hours will have no repercussions!
finger: *slightly hurts*
me:
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why-the-heck-not · 3 months
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As a programmer to a programmer: 20 :D
thankyouu for asking !
20: are you a leg jiggler?
a little bit, sometimes. If I have to do something in a hurry or I’m stressed or very caffeinated. But mostly I’m just twiddle with mt hands lol, it’s just as annoying to ppl around me I’m sure :D
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idlestories · 3 months
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sometimes i get a moment of brief but crippling embarrassment when i think about all the fic i’ve written but then i remember cringe is dead and i had fun so it’s fine
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scarletbees · 10 months
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hi nonexistent tumbr audience, im learning german. if u know german u should send a girly some movie/book recs :3333
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tsuchinokoroyale · 4 months
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Up for getting filled in at the UN?
Of course!!! But only if you film it so I can upload a preview of the video to my personal instagram
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foxglves · 7 months
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on my way to defend the former president in court for defrauding a bank what do you guys think of my setup ^_^
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