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queerjesusthelord · 6 days

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I've been thinking about her

You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened: why did they do what they did, was there some logic in it, were we so furious because of the denial, as we were unable to accept the forlorn finale and why did it hurt that much so nobody could recover from it till now.

It’s been two years, guys. Two years of re-reading Luke Jennings books, writing songs and dedicating them to VillanEve, doom scrolling post about them, about all the anger fans still got for Laura Neal and the shitty ending (as Villanelle would say with a sexy Russian accent).

I was listening to my beloved Unloved soundtrack of course, all this time. I’ve been on their concert in Paris recently and felt euphoric as I was sinking into Eve and Villanelle love story again and again through their divine music. Every word and sound reflected with my whole body and soul – it was ineffable. Every time I listen to “I’ve been thinking about her” it brings me to tears. I genuinely want this song to play at my funeral one day.

Well, I did my best to remain in this state of equanimity and kinda succeed. But a couple of months ago I decided to re-watch KE from season 1 and here is what happened. I happily binge-watched all three seasons and it felt like home – a perfect comfort zone, a way of my escapism. I even discovered a place where they shoot Villanelle’s apartment (here in Paris), I walked there, secretly got into the courtyard – it was AMAZING – visualizing what happened there in the 1st season, remembering their dialogue with Eve – “I think about you all the time” and stuff. It was comme la presence de Villanelle and I felt so happy and inspired there.

Lately I realised that I’ve been struggling, not wanting to re-watch the goddamn last season. Why the fuck it was so hard? I just can skip the last 5 minutes and et voilà – it would be just perfect. Plus dearest Luke Jennings has been writing and posting his new book about Villanelle and Eve (RESURRECTION) since November 2023, so we know that in his book they got their happy ending and their love story goes on, so it’s good news, right? We have something to rely on “more rock than sand” and it sounds so easy…

But frankly it’s not – I couldn’t pretend I did not see it – the ending they’ve made. I didn’t want to be in this denial any more. I was so angry, I didn’t want to go through it again. But I wanted to see the kiss, to feel their love, to embrace this fucking finale as well. The mixed up feelings were bothering me much so I decided to contemplate on them more, to write this down and here’s what I got.

For me this show, the VillanEve story, was very personal. And it started way long before the book. The book was a cure to find my peace AFTER I watched the ending, so I think it is what it is: the show is one thing and the book is another. I cannot pretend they are the same, like “Villanelle’s death was never meant to be in the book so fuck Laura Neal and her interpretation”. It’s fucking painful but I need to admit it – they ruined my favourite show, something I really loved and I feel so miserable I cannot simply rewatch it from time to time (like Twin Peaks for instance) to feel cheerful and happy KNOWING what awaits me in the end. It’s not a comfort zone anymore, it is a pure Hélène style torture.

I’ve never felt so attached to the heroes before. I mean, I watch a lot of tv shows and movies, and I easily emphathysise to every story I love. But THIS was different. It was a mind-blowing love-journey, irrational, psychotic, driven, crazy, fun, epic, passionate, surreal, iridescent and QUEER. I NEVER felt so seen and understood on the deepest level by just WATCHING the show. VillanEve resonates with my personal life and fantasies and I was glad that I found it. I’m more of a visual person, so it was crucial for me to be able to WATCH it, to see the performance of Sandra and Jodie and their desperate game with unresolved sexual tension where should, no, MUST have been the glorious end game. The happy ending for them and for all of us. Not just us queers, but all the people.

This show was twisted, sexy and fun from the very beginning – thanks to ingenious Phoebe Waller-Bridge. And it should have stayed like that and ended like that. It shouldn’t have to be a torture. It’s not Game of Thrones for christ sake. Besides, the story of The Twelve was screwed up too, and I will explain why.

We have a lot of this political shit in life already. Right parties, fucked up capitalism, like Russian government and its dictature. It’s no fun guys, this is really frightful and disastrous. So I believe we people do need some kind of an inspiration, a hope in the shows we watch – so we can take this hope to our lives and keep it, lean on it. In dark times like this it would be really helpful and right – so they should have caught the The Twelve gang and crush it, end it for good. But they (producers) fucked it all up so it’s quite impossible to be unfucked.

They ruined the VillanEve AND the fiction fantasy itself. It was the Author and the Twink death at once. Why not choosing an open ending if you had no idea how to end the show? The open final is always a good way, for me it’s all about respecting your audience. Think David Lynch way. Open endings give you a possibility to rewatch the show and come up with new ideas and interpretations. But they screw this one too.

So no, I think will never accept the finale. I will be grieving for a long long time. Until some director or a show runner who loves VillanEve as much as I do, makes a come-back to fix this shit.

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anevolutionarynecessity · 2 years

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How did Laura Neal ever get to be showrunner for Season 4?

Since Killing Eve’s horrible finale aired on April 10, 2022, and was followed up with Laura Neal’s homophobic and deranged interviews explaining its rationale, we’ve all been asking ourselves a burning question:

How did Laura Neal ever get to be showrunner for Season 4?

Our fandom knows that changing showrunners every season presented a problem for Killing Eve’s overall quality, specifically continuity, characterization, and Villaneve. This is why it was more important than ever for the showrunner for the final season to have an excellent grasp of key plot points, a deep understanding of the key characters, and an ability to finally realize Villaneve in the end.

In other words, we were all hoping that Laura Neal would do a good job.

But more than being hopeful, we had reason to expect that Laura Neal would do a good job. This is because Laura Neal wrote Villaneve’s bus kiss for S3E3, as well as writing for S3E7 with it’s dark humour, Hélène’s commanding presence, and Villaneve’s breathtaking almost-reunion.

I (bitterly) recall that our fandom was pretty excited that Laura Neal was going to be showrunner. Now after Season 4, we’re left feeling betrayed, shocked, devastated, and angry.

As showrunner, she messed things up to the point of being single-handedly responsible for Killing Eve’s lowest rated episode ever (along with being one of the worst finales in television history), wiping out Killing Eve’s legacy and re-watch value, and directly contributing to mainstream media harming LGBTQ well being and representation.

So...what happened? How was someone like Laura Neal, with her homophobia and catastrophic misunderstanding of Eve and Villanelle, allowed to have so much power?

The answer has everything to do with how the entertainment industry works, specifically in the UK.

We all know that the entertainment industry isn’t exactly built around merit. So what “qualifies” someone for their position in the entertainment industry? Generally, the criteria can include both the quantity and quality of projects, awards won, and a good reputation that’s endorsed by industry executives.

Scouring the public record for information on Laura Neal revealed just how scarce her C.V. and other professional details are. Nevertheless, the information I have been able to find should raise some eyebrows.

The first point to note here is that Laura Neal was announced as showrunner for Season 4 in February 2020–two full months before Season 3 even aired.

Take a moment to let that sink in.

Before even gauging critic and audience reactions to Season 3, before any viewership statistics and profit calculations came pouring in, Laura Neal was given this position.

The only way this is ever possible is if an industry executive, such as an executive producer, simply makes it happen thanks to the power of their position.

At the time of this announcement, we were offered two crucial pieces of information:

Laura Neal was selected as showrunner for Season 4 simply because Killing Eve wanted to continue its tradition of having female showrunners. Although her (few) writing credits were noted, such as for the high profile show Sex Education, this was not the primary reason she became showrunner.

Killing Eve’s executive producer Sally Woodward Gentle endorsed Laura Neal: “Laura is frighteningly bright, takes no prisoners and can laugh at anything. She's wicked and wild, emotional and provocative. The stories we are already creating for season four promise a pitch-black riot."

That’s it.

Neither of these reasons have anything to do with merit. Not even past experience or industry recognition.

Speaking of which, examining Laura Neal’s qualifications shows a troubling pattern of nepotism and elitism.

Again, this is unsurprising for the entertainment industry. But it does reveal the answer to how Laura Neal got to be showrunner for Season 4.

In the UK, up-and-coming writers for the screen and stage often go through writer’s programs. More than honing their skills with a mentor, these function more like sponsorships for writers that bring them lots of exposure and coveted endorsements from industry executives. In other words, it’s a matter of prestige.

So let’s have a look at some of Laura Neal’s notable qualifications on both her official agent’s website and her IMDb page:

Laura Neal studied drama at Bristol University and has been writing since she was 18 years old.

She has more experience writing for theater than for television.

She won the the Hull Truck Prize in 2007 and then the 2012 Broadcast Hot Shot prize.

In 2007, she was selected for not one, but two prestigious writer’s programs: the Royal Court Young Writers Programme and the Paines Plough Future Perfect scheme-despite having no credited work in 2007.

Because of these programs, she was commissioned to write only one episode in 2011 for Secret Diary of a Call Girl.

She wrote only one episode for My Mad Fat Diary in 2014, notable because it was one of Jodie Comer’s early successful projects.

She was a member of the Advanced Writing for Television Drama Programme 2017-2018, which she only got because she was “nominated by a senior industry professional.”

There is no record anywhere of who has ever endorsed and nominated her, other than Sally Woodward Gentle.

Laura Neal wrote only one episode for Sex Education in 2019.

In a bit of a discrepancy, IMDb claims that Laura Neal wrote three of Killing Eve’s episodes in Season 3 (2020): episode 3,7, and the finale. However, her official C.V. and agent only list episodes 3 and 7. Keep in mind that traditionally in the UK, a showrunner (read: head writer) writes the finale all by themselves, so it’s more likely Suzanne Heathcoate wrote the Season 3 finale all by herself. In any case, at this point Laura Neal only wrote 2-3 episodes for Killing Eve before suddenly becoming showrunner for Season 4.

Laura Neal has 7 writing credits throughout her entire career.

Other than two prizes during her university years, and being selected for the writer’s programs, Laura Neal has not won any industry awards.

Laura Neal has only one co-producer credit for the 2019 Netflix show Turn Up Charlie, which was cancelled after just one season.

Laura Neal’s only executive producer credit is for 8 episodes in her entire career, all for Season 4 of Killing Eve.

In addition, Laura Neal herself gives us some insight into her background as a writer:

She originally wanted to be a criminal investigator and almost gave up on writing altogether.

She studied drama at Bristol University, writing for university societies and for theater companies back in London.

While rehearsing in London for one of the first plays she’d written, some completely unnamed TV producers just happened to be watching the play. Shortly after, they commissioned Laura to write one episode for Secret Diary of a Call Girl. According to Laura, this was enough to secure her an agent and further projects.

Laura Neal’s focus for Season 3 and high-point for Killing Eve was to write lines for Fiona Shaw, who she’s “a huge fan of” (coincidentally, Fiona Shaw’s character Carolyn was the primary focus for Season 4)

All this serves to demonstrate that Laura Neal actually didn’t have the qualifications for a position as important as showrunner for Killing Eve’s final season.

Certainly, we can all feel that Laura Neal didn’t deserve to be showrunner after the mess we got. But I think it’s objectively clear now that we can back this sentiment up with facts. Laura Neal literally had no business being showrunner.

And now the logical counterpart to wondering how Laura Neal ever got to be showrunner for Season 4 is asking the following crucial question:

Why wasn’t Kayleigh Llewellyn showrunner for Season 4?

Kayleigh Llewellyn is Laura Neal’s direct contemporary colleague. They even got started around the same time, meaning their careers parallel each other. But the divergent results clearly speak for themselves, to the point where I think Kayleigh Llewellyn should have been showrunner for Season 4 of Killing Eve.

In no uncertain terms, Kayleigh is the most qualified woman for this position, especially by entertainment industry standards.

I mean, let’s just consider some of Kayleigh Llewellyn’s many notable qualifications on both her agent’s website (along with her C.V.) and her IMDb page:

Laura and Kayleigh both won something in 2012...except Kayleigh’s award was an industry recognized award called a BAFTA, specifically for New Comedy Writing. Kayleigh literally kickstarted her career with the UK entertainment industry’s highest honour.

In addition to being a writer, Kayleigh is also an actress. IMDb notes four acting credits in total, the most notable being for her 2015 short film Oh Be Joyful. It won 13 awards, including Best Short Film and Best Female Director. It was championed as excellent LGBTQ representation at international film festivals in London, Milan, Hamburg, and Toronto among others.

Kayleigh was one of six specifically LGBTQ filmmakers selected for the BFI Flare Mentorship Programme in 2016. Not only is Kayleigh a lesbian herself, but her entire career champions LGBTQ representation through the lens of underdog characters, exploring such themes as class division, internal conflicts with home life and sexuality, and challenging the stigma around mental illness.

Right before being a writer for Killing Eve, Kayleigh’s best known and most loved project is the 2018-2021 TV series In My Skin. The pilot alone won 2 BAFTA awards. The series went on to be nominated for 4 more BAFTA awards: Best TV Drama, Actress, Writer and Director: Fiction. This project won two of those nominations, for Writer and Director (2020).

In contrast to Laura Neal’s two university prizes, Kayleigh Llewellyn has won 5 BAFTA awards in total.

Kayleigh was executive producer for all 9 episodes of In My Skin, compared to Laura Neal’s singular co-producer credit and her executive producer credit for 8 episodes in Season 4 of Killing Eve.

Kayleigh was also consulting producer for all 8 episodes of Season 4 of Killing Eve, which means she still contributed input for Villaneve throughout.

Among Kayleigh’s 13 writing credits across her career, she contributed some of the best material for Villaneve in Season 4, writing episodes 3, 4, and 6.

Given all this, Kayleigh Llewellyn’s industry experience, her passion and work for LGBTQ representation, and her demonstrable understanding of Villaneve made her the perfect fit to be showrunner for Season 4 of Killing Eve.

To put this another way, the show In My Skin that she was directly executive producer for and actively writing for won four BAFTA awards the same year (2020) that Killing Eve’s executives were in the process of finding a showrunner for Season 4.

Kayleigh Llewellyn clearly should have been considered for the position.

And yet.

Laura Neal was announced as showrunner for Season 4 just because Sally Woodward Gentle said so.

To make this injustice worse, we know that Kayleigh Llewellyn was muzzled and literally kept from doing her job as a writer in Killing Eve, noting that she felt like “a cog in a machine.”

I cannot help but mourn the loss of what Killing Eve’s final season could have been if Kayleigh Llewellyn was showrunner. The amount of potential that was unfulfilled is maddening. Worse yet, we live with the disastrous results of the finale and Laura Neal’s legacy of homophobia while knowing that Kayleigh is a champion of LGBTQ representation.

So in light of all this, are we just supposed to be disheartened by yet more evidence of how unjust, corrupt, and bemusing the entertainment industry can be?

That’s definitely one takeaway.

Another much more important take away is that now we know how Laura Neal, the head person responsible for Season 4′s homophobia and atrocious quality, got to be where she is.

Now we know what we can hold her accountable for. Now we know some of the entry points in the entertainment industry that allow such people to slip through. Now we know what to look for when we examine who crafts our media. Now we know that there are always other options, just how Kayleigh Llewellyn is an inspiring direct contrast to Laura Neal.

It’s too late to change how Season 4 of Killing Eve turned out. And we will only spiral if we ruminate on how things could have been better if only the right person was in charge.

Instead, I hope that this post was informative and sparked a desire to experience media more thoughtfully. To peer beneath the surface of entertainment and consider who is making it, especially with what intent. To follow the trail and connect the dots to see the bigger picture.

And most of all, to know that if we truly want to make a difference in the industry of our choosing, we can best do that leading by example and looking to women like Kayleigh Llewellyn as examples of what we can create with our hearts in the right place.

#there you have it folks #so now it's all the more important to confront her homophobia and hold Laura Neal & Co accountable!!#Killing Eve #Villaneve #Season 4 #Jodie Comer #Sandra Oh #Eve Polastri #Laura Neal #FUCK LAURA NEAL #bbc #bbc america #amc #amc+#lgbtq #film making #screenwriting #film #entertainment industry

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