First time ever playing virtual golf.......and probably the last time. I couldn’t help but feel that I was playing a video game rather than the real thing. Also, I still have a terrible right splice.
As a Creative Writing major, I learned that all cool fight sequences observe certain rules: Interesting Setting, Clear Stakes, Dynamic Action, and Rule of Cool.
These same principles can be applied to making Nintendo Golf less lame.
Interesting Setting
Grassy fields are OUT. Mini golf has this figured out. We need every hole to have a different, wacky layout, with unique obstacles to overcome. Since the digital world of Nintendo isn't restricted by the paltry laws of physics, we could have impossible structures to play through. We could golf our way across a moon base, where low gravity is a factor. We could golf through a glamorous pinball hotel where if you get a ball into the dumbwaiter it blasts it through the roof and closer to the hole in the hedgemaze outside. We could golf through a coral reef. A volcano. An ant colony. The possibilities are limitless; WHY are we reduced to green lawns??
2. Clear Stakes
What happens if you have the better score? You win at the end? Boring. Been done. There has to be stakes as you progress from hole to hole. Between each hole, you should have the option to spin a wheel for powerups or special golf balls. Higher/lower scores get better odds. You could get bouncy balls, peewee marbles, gumballs, magnetic balls -- varieties that would be useful in different settings, which you could switch in and out before the stroke. There should also be a wildcard ball, which has a 90% chance of giving you exactly the ball you need for the scenario, but a 10% chance of giving you a wet sponge to smack with the club for the next few turns.
3. Dynamic Action
We touched on this above, but there has to be more dynamic obstacles. Sandtraps are out. Ponds of hungry hungry hippos are in. Speedup mats, pinball bumpers, secret areas that hide powerups. We also need a point system. Completing the hole in as few strokes as possible gives you a set score, but finding point boosters or engaging bumpers/other dynamic aspects of the setting should give point bonuses, too. Players now have multiple strategies open to them. You can focus on finishing the course as cleanly as possible, or you can take an exploratory strategy and try to gain as many points as possible on the way.
4. Rule of Cool
Do I need to explain this? Has this whole rant not been enough? Give the people the sickest concepts you can conceive. Imagine a level where if you aim your ball just right, you can load it onto a rollercoaster that takes it spiraling over an open, broiling volcano and dumps it into a floating island, where it spins past snapping lava crabs and dunks into the hole at the bottom, releasing fireworks. That's what golf could be! @nintendo, it's time for Golf 2!
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