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footprintsinthesxnd · 1 year

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Promise Me

Pairings: Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x female reader

Warnings: failed relationship, miscarriage, angst, alcohol abuse, car accident

I’ve written this for @callsign-phoenix Sophie’s 1k follower challenge using the prompt ‘Hangman’s Hangover’.

“How many of those has he had,” Phoenix asked, aiming her pool cue towards Hangman. He was sitting at the bar surrounded by empty glasses, and his hair was a mess, not in its usual neatly gelled state. He had dark shadows under his blue eye and the gray tracksuit wasn’t doing him any favors.

“I have no clue but I have a feeling one of us is going to have to carry him home,” Coyote grunted, taking the cue from Phoenix.

“I’m not even sure what he’s drinking now. He started with whiskey but since then he’s had vodka and god knows what.” Bob chimed in, popping another peanut into his mouth as he watched his friends play.

“This has really done a number on him,” Coyote mumbled.

“They lost a child, Coyote. They are both hurting and I don’t blame them. Do you remember how excited he was when she was pregnant?” They all thought back to that day when Jake came running into the Hangman, the biggest grin on his face and waving a small piece of paper. It was the sonogram and he’d carried it in his flight suit ever since.

“Yeah but they didn’t need to break up over it.” Coyote grumbled, he never understood that if they loved each other and needed each other so much why they broke up.

Phoenix sighed, “They're just processing their grief differently and it's hard on both of them. She is just as broken up about this as he is.” Phoenix glared at her fellow aviator displeased.

“I know it's not her fault. I didn’t mean I like that. I can’t even begin to imagine what they’re going through,” he sighed. “I just hate seeing him like this.”

“We all do Javy,” Phoenix explained, “I just know that both of our friends are hurting and they need us.” She set the cue down on the pool table, abandoning the game. “I think I’m gonna call it a night. I’m gonna check in with her on my way home.”

Bob and Coyote waved her goodbye and watched as she placed a gentle hand on Jake’s back before leaving.

“You’re up Bob,” Coyote said, leaning across the table smirking as he took another shot.

“What!” Bob's expression resembled a deer in the headlights, a few peanuts escaping from the cup and rolling down his uniform.

“Well I spent all of last week helping him home and he was sick in my car. Do you know how long it took me to get the smell out?”

Bob's face crumpled a little and he wrinkled his nose at the thought of Jake vomiting in his car. He’d never really liked Jake, he had been a dick to him ever since their first meeting before the uranium mission and he always managed to find a way to pick on him. But looking at his fallen comrade now, Bob couldn’t have felt more sympathetic, he loved you both dearly and he felt your pain.

Having been as thick as thieves since your Top Gun training, you had started dating shortly after. You were the kind of couple that everyone wanted to be, so in sync with each other, you knew what the other would do before they had even thought of it. It was the kind of love Bob had always wanted, the kind of love from movies that he’d seen as a kid. He was convinced that you would get married after the uranium mission especially once you’d found out you were pregnant. Jake had been ecstatic and had even promised to make Bob the baby’s Godfather. He smiled at the thought of that day, everyone had been celebrating at the Hard Deck, even Mav was there raising a toast to the newest member of the Dagger Squad.

Bob’s face fell as he thought back to the fateful nights two weeks ago. It had been carnage. The couple had been in a car accident on the way back from a party and Maverick and Penny’s house. A drunk driver came out of nowhere and rammed them clean off the road. Jake came away mostly unscathed but you had taken a direct hit from the car on your side and was left with a broken collarbone and multiple broken ribs. The baby hadn’t survived and when you had both needed each other most you just couldn’t stand to see each other so hurt. After fighting like mad, eventually the doctors advised that Jake stopped coming to visit. That was the last time Jake had seen you and since that day spent most of the time at the bar drowning his sorrow.

Bob sighed, placing his empty cup of peanuts down and headed towards where Jake was sitting.

“Hey Bagman, mind if I sit here?” He gestured to the bar stall next to him. Jake mumbled something and Bob took that as an invitation to sit down. “What you got there.” Bob pointed towards his single glass that was no longer surrounded by others. Penny must have tidied up, Bob thought to himself.

“I don’t know,” Jake replied, expressionlessly.

“What do you mean you don’t know,” Bob asked worriedly. How much had he drunk?

“Well, Penny wanted to clean up the glasses so I poured it all into one.” He slurred, waving his hand over the glass. “I got whiskey and vodka. I think there’s some beer in there too and I had tequila. Oh, and I had a gin and tonic earlier too.”

“Shit Jake, what’s that a recipe for a ‘Hangman hangover?”

The other pilot snorted and downed the rest of the glass, pulling a face at the foul taste. He stood up from the bar stool, wobbling slightly and Bob grabbed his arm to support him. “Come on, Jake. Let’s get you home ok.”

“No Bobby, I don’t want to go home.” His lip began quivering as Bob carefully guided him out to his car and got him seated in the front seat. “Please don’t leave me, Bobby. I don’t want to be alone. Please don’t leave me.” He started sobbing into the sleeve of Bob’s jacket and Bob pulled him close. Jake gripped onto him like he was a life raft in the middle of the ocean and he didn’t want to let go. Bob could feel all the tension leaving Jake’s body as he cried, burying his head into the crook of Bob’s neck. The two men embraced like this for a while, neither wanting to let go too soon. When Jake eventually pulled away, he looked up at his fellow aviator with teary eyes. “Please can I come home with you, Bob? I promise not to be a dick to you and I'll try my best not to be sick in your car.” He hiccuped and for a moment Bob thought he looked like a child pleading with his parents, he looked so innocent.

“Sure thing Bud,” was all Bob could muster, helping Hangman swing his leg into the car and doing up his seat belt, before going round to the driver's side.

The drive home was quiet, Bob kept watching as Jake became more and more green but kept promising he wouldn’t be sick. When they reached Bob’s apartment, Jake was straight out of the car and vomited on the pavement outside his house. “I’m so sorry Bob,” he almost cried, continuing to wretch even though his stomach was empty.

“It’s fine Jake. Don’t worry.” Bob helped the other man up the drive and through the front door, aiming him straight for the bedroom. Jake collapsed onto Bob’s bed with a sigh while he went to retrieve a towel and bucket. When Bob returned Jake was asleep and he had to try and roll the larger man onto his side next to the bucket. He pulled off Jake’s shoes and his jeans, leaving him in his T-shirt and boxers. He looked so peaceful when he slept, Bob thought. He retreated to the door and was about to go out when Jake stirred. “Bob, will you stay with me for a while?” He called out softly. Bob stood in the doorway debating his options before agreeing and sitting beside Jake on the bed. Jake rolled over so that he had his head resting on Bob's leg. Bob tensed slightly unsure of what to do so he just sat with his arms crossed, listening as Jake talked.

“I’m so lost without her Bobby. She was my everything and we were so happy. I…” He sniffled and wiped his nose with his hand. “I don’t know what to do without her. I was a dickhead and I don’t know why. Everything just hurt so bad and I ended up losing both of them.” A steady stream of tears began following down his cheeks. Bob placed a gentle hand on the man’s shoulder, comfortingly. “I don’t know what to do.” Jake continued to talk quietly and Bob listened.

“Bob, can I get you to promise me something?” He looked up at him, the hurt evident in his eyes.

“Sure thing, Jake.”

“Promise me that if you ever love someone as much as I love her, promise me you’ll never let her go. Promise me, Bob.” More tears began to fall from Jake’s eyes and he lay his head back on Bob’s leg.

“I promise, Bagman.”

The two men continued to sit in silence until he could hear soft snores leaving Jake's mouth. He wriggled out from under his fellow pilot and made his way out of the room quietly. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he called phoenix.

“Hey Bob,” she whispered when she answered.

“Hey Nat, I’m sorry I know it's late,” he began.

“No, it's fine. Don’t worry. She’s only just gone to sleep.” He could hear Phoenix shuffling around at the other end of the phone before her voice became louder.

“She’s a mess, Bob.”

“Bob sighed, “ Yeah, so is Jake. I’ve got him at my place and all he’s done is cry since we left the bar. I don’t know what to do?”

“We need to do something. I can't keep watching them go through this.” Phoenix sighed. “I think we need to get them to see each other again. To talk through everything.”

Bob agreed quietly, trying to think of a way they could get their two friends back together.

“How about you come by my place with Bagman tomorrow afternoon? I'll get her to come over and we can see if they’ll talk to each other.”

“That’s a good plan, Nat. Thanks.”

“No worries, Bobby. It’s a date.” She laughed at Bob tripping over his words on the other. “I’m joking, Bob. I'll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Bob laughed awkwardly. “See you tomorrow, Nat.” The two pilots hung up the phone and Bob sat on the sofa. Maybe they could get Jake and you to work through this, after all, they had the kind of love from a movie.

Tag list: @callsign-phoenix @imjess-themess @blue-aconite @averyhotchner @mayhem24-7forever @green-socks @a-reader-and-a-writer @topguncortez @luckyladycreator2 @ssprayberrythings @smoothdogsgirl @xoxabs88xox @maggiescarborough @callsignmaverick5 @alexxavicry @abaker74 @elenavampire21

#top gun maverick #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin x reader #hangman top gun #jake seresin #jake hangman seresin imagine #jake seresin x female!reader #top gun movie #top gun moodboard #hangman x reader #topgun #top gun hangman

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shipskicksandgiggles · 8 months

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dialogue prompts

so for those unaware of how my life tends to go, I end up in a lot of situations where I end up saying something weird or people say weird things to me, and I like adapting those things into prompt lists. send whatever ship/character/what have you with a number and we’ll see how this goes

“Did I go too far?” “Did you go too far? I called my husband a cartoon lesbian!”

“You’re throwing candy at him and he doesn’t even have his tits out.” “That’s how he gets a peanut butter cup.”

“Conservative radio? That has to be Rush Limbaugh.” “Fuck Rush Limbaugh!”

“I’m a massive fucking atheist, but it brings me so much joy to picture Nancy Reagan in hell.”

“You’re so small, it’s like your body can’t contain your excitement. It’s really funny to watch actually.”

“Do not use the word ‘curate’ in relation to 80s heavy metal. You picked it. ‘Curate’, fuck off.”

“I think the neighbors got evicted.” “No, really? It’s about time.”

“You’re like the guy, what’s his name, can’t talk to girls?” “I’d be mad if you weren’t totally right.”

“When you were little I thought you might have been autistic.” “When I was little?”

“You have been gone for six hours-” “Hello child.” “Hi dad- more than six hours actually-”

“I almost took the wrong exit and ended up in Canada, so that’s my day.”

“Who has childproof locks on their car doors?” “What?” “I don’t know, I got stuck in the backseat of a car because of childproofing that shouldn’t exist.”

“I feel like your boyfriend can’t cook.” “Why would you think that?” “Because you cook for him sometimes.” “Why would that mean he can’t though?”

“I think my grandpa tried to set me up with his pastor’s son. Stop laughing, this is serious.”

“Why did she hate you?” “No idea, at that point I was just trying to survive middle school.”

“Well, I mean, the waitress was flirting with you.” “The waitress was what now?”

“What kind of cosmic fuck up did you make to result in this kind of karma?” “I don’t know. I’m so tired.”

“What are you, a dog? Stop chewing on that, you absolute child.”

“You’re just boobing all over the place.” “Boobing.”

“Wait, hold on, let me guess. May of whatever year we were in seventh grade in Detroit.” “Yeah actually, what the fuck? That’s so specific, how did you do that?”

“I like that you call information about yourself lore… Wait, did you just say you got hit by a car?” “I love the order you processed that in.”

“Who had them pegged as the bitch with the biggest tits in this apartment? Not me, that’s for sure.”

“Come here, I need you to bless the vodka bottle.” “I don’t believe in Jesus.” “You don’t need to, just come bless the bottle.”

“I’m stealing his daughter and if he’s still being a homophobe I’ll steal his wife too.”

“I broke up with my boyfriend and my therapist fucking cheered.” “I don’t disagree with her.”

“You would suck dick for a crab rangoon.” “Oh for sure.”

“Someone just handed me condoms in a way that seemed like he thought I had the hardware to be able to use them, however I like that I pass as someone who does, so I’ll take it.”

“So you’re like, an expert on the Titanic, right?” “Is this about the submarine?” “Maybe.” “Great, buckle in, you’ve come to the right person.”

“Do you want me to explain bottom surgery to you? Because I think you’re going to get grossed out.” “Yeah, I’ll be fine.” (dear reader, she was, in fact, grossed out)

“You have main character things happen to you while having the attitude of a quirky side character, and I love it.”

“Is that a lemon?” “It’s a cat, but I see where you’re coming from.”

“During pride month? This is homophobia.” “That was loud.” “Good, I hope the homophobe heard.”

“He was like, ‘is your roommate hot?’ and I was like ‘what, yeah, why?’ like who asks that?” “You think I’m hot?”

“So I have a proposition.” “No.” “You don’t even know what it is.” “Yes I do. That one asshole is hitting you up for a booty call. Don’t.” “Bitch.”

“Where are your wisdom teeth?” “Probably in a medical waste container somewhere if they’re still on this plane of existence.”

“I thought he was kidding!” “Who would joke about a turtle?”

“Hey, can someone drive me to the Urgent Care?” “Like now?” “If you’re not busy.”

“Listen. I avoided admitting myself to a hospital for any reason for almost 17 years. Don’t yell at me for not knowing that wasn’t an Urgent Care problem.”

“Whose Rabbi came to the soccer game?”

“Are you fucking colorblind? That’s purple.”

“I got hit on at the grocery store.” “Was he cute?” “He looked greasy.”

“How do you not know who David Bowie is?” “That is the loudest I’ve ever heard you, holy fuck.”

“When I get wine drunk, I get horny.” “We could have a threesome.” “There’s four people here.” “Oh. Foursome then.”

“Hey can I give you a dollar for one of those beanie babies? I need to butcher it for a cat toy.” “Sure?”

“Sit, we need to talk to you about something.” “Remember when you got high a couple weeks ago and had a gender crisis?”

“Are you going to stab me?” “What? Oh, butter knife, sorry.”

“You know when men have that little swoop of hair? The queef?” “Oh my god I’m crying, you mean a quiff.”

“There is a very large bug on my flowers and I don’t want to touch it.” “That’s my cicada, he’s already dead.”

“Dude, I’ve lived with you for like three months, you’re so obviously a switch.”

“Sometimes you say things and I do not question you because they are the most on brand things you could possibly say. Like sure, I’ll buy that you listen to punk music and have a high pain tolerance. That seems right.”

#ellis writes #prompts #writing prompts #dialogue prompts #send prompts #these are some fun ones #also if anyone wants to send a good omens prompt 👀

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sowritten · 2 years

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𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘, 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐈𝐈

warning: may contain spoilers

CHAPTER TWO: TRUTH OR DARE

it looks like you’re trying to thread a needle with a packet of loose sausages.

I’m almost done, okay?

for the record, your analogies are very hurtful.

if I were a beer, where would I be hiding?

it’s my beerdar. helps me ‘dar for beers.

how am I just noticing how super lame you are?

don’t know what I was expecting.

check out my giant melons.

you just pour the vodka right in it?

it’s the most fun you can have with a hole in a watermelon... well. second most.

can’t pass up an opportunity like this.

have you ever seen a grown man crap his pants?

look, if you’re trying to scare me, it’s not going to work.

you’re not scared of clowns?

you think this is supposed to be funny?

mother hubbard!

no wonder he kept this place locked up.

think he’ll be pissed when he finds out we raided his stash?

it’s like human rights, or whatever.

did a bear do this?

you’re really gonna keep the gun, huh?

what else is in there?

dude! peanut butter fucking butter pops!

they’re like the greatest snack of all time.

they’re like their own thing. like their own subgenre of food snack.

booty? it means like treasure. or butts.

this is where the magic happens.

your wit knows no bounds.

it’s like my mom always says: if you wanna party, you gotta bring protection.

I’m not gonna fuck a bear.

is that a trap door?

it looks like a pit of eternal darkness.

you’re being dramatic.

what can I do for you on this darn-tootin’ doozy of a day?

is that your impression of [name]?

that’s a little forward, but I can see what I can do.

you’re not a little bit curious?

I can’t promise that.

what the fuck?

is [name] spying on us?

it’s not exactly secret, it’s just hidden by stuff.

it’s gotta be something juicy in here.

I’m leaving the secret lair, have fun.

it’s kind of hard to talk about right now.

it’s really very pretty out here when there’s no kids around.

they always seem to listen to you.

you’ve seen my class?

are you sure this is safe?

it’s alright, calm down!

so do you ever think about what’s next?

sometimes I just try to like... let it happen, you know?

I guess that is a little freeing in a sociopathic kind of way.

damn, [name]. you’re really good.

it’s really cool you know that about yourself.

not everyone knows what they’re capable of, you know?

I’m sure you’re capable of a lot, [name].

you’ll figure it out.

did you hear that?

it’s probably nothing.

no, listen. there’s something there.

what the hell, [name]?

that thing almost just mauled me to death!

I think she was coming onto me.

aw, you got yourself a little girlfriend!

[name] is a voyeuristic creep.

he’s got cameras hidden everywhere in a secret room.

you have no imagination.

yeah, that’s pretty spooky.

we may never see each other again after tonight.

just trying to set the mood.

big jokes take big sacrifices.

I just want to shrink you down to a little pocket person and put you in my pocket and then peep at you when I need a little pick-me-up!

where the hell did that gun come from?

pop pop! peanut butter butter pops! pop pop! pop ‘em in your mouth!

please hand me the shotgun.

what, you’re going to shoot me over them?

guess we’re gonna have ourselves an old-fashioned shootout.

I’m just letting you know, your goose is cooked.

what I say goes, got it?

I’m always hot, pencil dick!

don’t be gross!

no sweat, we all get performance anxiety sometimes.

alright, let’s see what you got.

better luck next time!

you’re very mean.

you thought this was over?

let’s make some memories!

how about the ultimate game of secrets and lies? truth or dare.

truth or dare?

you really dodged a bullet, huh?

take it easy, that’s too far.

your dare comes with a choice.

I can do whatever I want.

sorry, I don’t make the rules.

always happy to please.

alright, let’s see what you’re made of.

I dare you to take a flying leap over that fire pit.... naked.

yeah, I don’t think that’s a good idea.

I don’t know if that’s a good idea.

he’s good.

you like kissing my girlfriend?

it’s just a game!

hey, I’m nobody’s girlfriend.

[name], grow up!

you should probably go find [name].

fuck this.

I am, as always, delighted that you’re here.

sometimes one needs to be strung up in order to let go.

there’s more to show you, if you’ll let me.

I’ll see you again, you can count on that.

CHAPTER THREE: TROUBLE IN PARADISE

what are we, in middle school?

why should I even care?

you ran off.

I think that game just got a little too intense for me.

I know what you mean.

guess [name]’s had a thing for you all along.

they’re just trying to make [name] jealous.

I was just playing along.

you seem to enjoy playing along.

I guess you found me, then.

sneaking down here was a lot more fun when we thought we could get caught, huh?

I thought we agreed that this — us — was just supposed to be some summer fun.

you just love having an audience, huh?

what are we, twelve?

you really love fucking with me, huh?

lighten up sourpuss, please!

this is not how tonight was supposed to go.

you know what, nothing. nothing. nevermind.

you can stand here, sulking and driving yourself crazy, or you could go grab us some towels.

we agreed, summer fun, right? apparently, summer is not quite over.

yeah, we’ll see about that.

we could shake it out doggy-style.

wow! you really know how to talk to a girl, don’t you?

look, you can’t just pretend that it didn’t happen.

I need a big, strong, not at all insecure man to come save me!

stop being a grump!

dick move.

I don’t want this to end.

I had a great summer with you.

if I can do a backflip off of here, you’ll let me come visit you, okay?

oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me!

it was like a scream, but not the good kind of scream.

I’m gonna go check it out.

that was some mighty fine social disruption there, I have to say.

you’re an evil genius.

what do you want to do now?

we gotta go!

can you walk?

come on, let’s get back to the fire.

just let me down, okay?

don’t hurt me, please!

oh jesus christ, what the fuck are you doing?

helps if you close your eyes.

it’s for your own good.

seems like just a blink, and you’re back to see me again.

so, what have we got?

watch your step, it could be your last.

remember, there’s always more than meets the eye.

#rp meme #sentence meme #sentence starters #roleplay meme #roleplay starters #the quarry #starters: the quarry

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drawing-way-outside-the-lines · 26 days

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➖ Mature content, 18+ ➖ check the trigger tags each time ➖

Chapter 50 - Derailed. Episode 3.

‼️‼️ Attention‼️‼️ I have deleted a large chunk of chapter, cause as much as I love challenging myself as a writer, even I couldn't stomach reading through the part that's now deleted. In short, it was a very graphic sex scene, I felt was way over the line. It involved sex between Andy and his uncle, dad, and a couple other people, which wasn't per say the problem, though I don't condone such things in reality, however, I just, I dunno, it's usually challenging to write these things, but for whatever reason I simply couldn't stomach it right now, so it's gone. However, I felt the need to mention that this orgy has happened, cause it might be mentioned at some point further on, or something similar might happen again. So yeah, now it's out there, and it's still as much as I cringe, canon that this has happened, I just don't see any reason for the details to be out there. And yes it was consenting and such. Let's leave it at that and continue. Thank you. -------Daniel's point of view-------

Daniel: So there you are! I sat down on the bar stool next to Robert and nodded at the bartender 2 Vodkas, please!

Robert: He grunted and sipped his glass of whatever it was he was having

Daniel: So why did you leave so fast? You can't say you didn't want a piece, I saw your hard-on as you made your escape

Robert: He frowned and grabbed the Vodka as the bartender served us Can we not talk about that here?

Daniel: I spun around on the chair There's hardly anyone here Robbie… come on, give a boy a little something so I didn't leave the ass-buffet for nothing… I'm pretty sure I could even have fucked Lenny tonight I grinned at him cheeky

Robert: The bar is crowded Daniel. Could you lower your voice? He grunted dissatisfied and sipped his glass. I probably shouldn't let him drink more, as he had clearly already had more than enough. Buuut I needed to plant my dick somewhere else, and the room was mostly filled with people past 60… not the sexy kind like George. And judging by the half boner Rob still had going under the table, he was ready for cooking, if I just played my cards right.

Daniel: So why did you leave? I sipped my Vodka slowly, observing him with a soft casual smile

Robert: I couldn't stay.

Daniel: Why? It could have been fun.

Robert: Yes, that's what I'm afraid of.

Daniel: I looked at him questioning

Robert: Now listen, if I had done anything, with Andy… which I was about to… I'm afraid I would have ruined things with Evan for good. There's a lot he can forgive me for. But this is not one of those things.

Daniel: How can you be so sure?

Robert: I know my son.

Daniel: Okay, you win this round Robert. I sipped my Vodka again, and smiled at him friendly So you went straight here.. to this dirty hell house? Where did you even find this joint? I looked around the bar, dusty shelves, smoke stained walls, the air was so thick you could almost cut it with a knife. The floors looked and felt like they hadn't been cleaned for years, and the bowl with peanuts standing in front of us looked like it had been standing there the past decade.

Robert: It was the first place with booze I happened to pass by.

Daniel: So you walked all the way down here? Must have taken you an hour or so?

Robert: Just about yeah… A bit longer… I stopped a couple of times to jerk off in the dark. It sounded so casually when he said it… either this motherfucker was a real dirty dog just waiting to be unleashed, or he was more drunk than I first assumed, and just very good at hiding it. Sure his speech was slurry in it, but beside that he looked fine to me.

Daniel: So you left a trail of cum for me to follow?

Robert: I guess? Too bad there's too much snow for you to see any of it he chuckled softly and sipped his Vodka

Daniel: I guess that's the closest I will get to an actual invitation? Well, I found you anyway Robbie-Boy… so what do you say we head home and hit the sack?

Robert: Yeah, I could really need to rest my eyes right about now.

Daniel: Bummer! There went my chance!

Robert: I'll just go find the bathroom and take a wizz… if I'm not back in two minutes…

Daniel: Yeah yeah I sipped my Vodka, and grunted dissatisfied as I watched him head towards the toilets. Hmm… there goes that ass-fucking! What a pity! It does really look like Robbie still has a nice firm ass even if he is slightly older than Andy's parents… And slightly on the overweight side. Without being chubby… not that I don't like chubby… I fucking fab madly at the thought of chubby… but chubby past 55 rarely stays firm in the skin… not that I'm picky, but I do have standards… sometimes. I looked at my glass and swallowed the last mouthful. Hmm… when did he leave? Definitely way past two minutes ago. Right? I got up, made my way to the toilet, which surprisingly enough wasn't half as filthy as the rest of the bar. I took a look around. No sign of him by the piss stalls… so he must be inside one of the toilet stalls, I guess? One of them was closed, the other one open. Robbieee? You in here Rob? As there were no answer, I decided to investigate, heading quickly towards the open stall. After all it was easy enough to just jump up on the toilet and look over the stall wall, they were pretty low anyway, so it wouldn't be a problem to look over and check if he had fallen asleep. WOAH WOAH WOAH MAN!!! As I entered the stall, a dick was pressed through a glory hole in the wall… surprise surprise Robbie. I did not expect that from you! Roooob… is that you wanting to say hello? I grabbed his dick and gave it a quick wank. Yep, that moan was definitely Rob! Are you sure about this? I started rubbing his dick more firmly Rooooob?

Robert: Daniel? Are you in here?

Daniel: Wait… hold on! I let go of the dick quickly. If Robert was out there… who was in there??!! I quickly ran out of the stall, and pushed the door open of the other stall, not believing my eyes! Danny?!

Robert: Oh there you are!

Daniel: What the hell man?! What the fuck are you doing here?!

Robert: Listen I called a cab… oh…

Daniel: I observed Danny as he quickly zipped his pants and fumbled to tighten his belt Are you fucking gay?!

Danny: No, it… it's not what it looks like!

Daniel: It's exactly what it looks like you lying piece of shit!! So why are you even here you fucking stalker?!? You just drag Sparkle around, filling her with stories of how wonderful you are, perfect gentleman and shit! What the fuck do you even want from her when you're clearly into glory holes and other dudes sucking your dick?!

Danny: No no! You got it all wrong, please let me explain!

Daniel: Shit! Fucking explain this! I hit him straight in his face, watching him fall down on the dirty toilet as he went out cold And stay away from my girl!!!

Robert: He grabbed my arm strongly before I could get to throw in a second punch Daniel! We gotta get out of here! DANIEL!!

Daniel: Fuck!!! I bend forwards, pressing two fingers against his neck

Robert: Did you?!?!

Daniel: Nah… he's not THAT lucky!

Robert: What?!?!

Daniel: I grabbed his shoulders tight Robert! He has a pulse! Let's go!

Robert: But… are you sure? You're so strong!

Daniel: I chuckled hoarse Thank you for noticing Rob… now, let's get going before the police arrives… Rob?… Rooob? Robert fucking Thompson! If you don't pull it together right now I'm gonna kiss you!

Robert: Wha-bwu?

Daniel: Fine! I pressed my lips tight against his, grabbing his back head, pushing him closer, but only for a second or two, then I pulled away, observing his surprised face Good… glad you're with me again, now let's get going, I can hear the sirens!

Robert: His eyes widened as he suddenly got it all Oh shit!

Daniel: Now we're on same page! I chuckled hoarse, grabbed his hand and dragged him after me as we ran out the bar, catching swear words from the bartender as we burst through the front door and out on the snow-filled night street. I slipped, but Robert quickly supported me before I fell, quickly dragging me into the cab. About 10 minutes later we walked through the front door of my house, laughing loudly at the fact that we had gotten away with it, we had run from the police, and gotten away with it. We made it upstairs, half running, half crawling as we were laughing so hard it was almost impossible to stay on our feet. You want anything to drink? I pointed at the bar as I made my way to the fridge

Robert: No, I-I'm good…

Daniel: I frowned a bit as I noticed him acting weird Relax… that piece of shit is not gonna rad on us. He wont dare! Sparks will fucking rip his gay ass balls off by the root, if he throws the police on my neck. He doesn't have the guts to pull anything like that. So chill will you? I opened a beer, sipping about a quarter of it, then placed it on the kitchen counter. I started laughing softly once again at the thought of what we had just accomplished, and as I started laughing harder, I leaned my upper body over the counter, laughing so much my whole body was vibrating, and I felt it hard to breathe. And then I felt something else hard, pushing against my ass. I made a move to get up, but then he spoke up

Robert: Stay down, and tell me what to do… how do I do this?

Daniel: I bit my lip and moaned softly Pull my pants down, Rob…

Robert: As he did as I said, I looked backwards surprised, just to become even more surprised when I saw his dick already out of his pants and rock hard What more?

Daniel: I moaned softly, and faced the kitchen counter again Lick your palm, make sure it gets really wet, then rub it all over your dick.

Robert: He moaned softly, which told me he did as I said

Daniel: Now, fuck me…

❌Short sex scene START - readers must be 18+❌ ❌ (To skip sex scene, scroll till next marking) ❌ ‼️This one is quite graphic and on the more kinky/fetish type side, if that needs a warning‼️

Robert: I felt him press against my hole gently

Daniel: Harder Robbie! This aint a pussy. If you want to get inside this year you gotta work for it.

Robert: I felt him push harder, and few seconds later he glided inside

Daniel: Good boy. Now, grab my hips and get it all out. All those years you were left to starve. Get it all out! I can can handle it.

Robert: He hesitated few seconds, and I was just about to lose my patience but then something came up in him, and he started fucking me like a mad man! Slapping my ass, pounding me violently, moaning and grunting like it was his first time ever, and he couldn't believe he had discovered sex!

Daniel: Yes! That's what I'm talking about! get it all out!

Robert: He fucked me like that a couple of minutes, then he suddenly pulled out and looked a bit hesitating

Daniel: I stood up slowly, pulling my dick a few times Rob… what's up? You're not chickening out now, are you?

Robert: No he shook his head gently

Daniel: So what is it then?

Robert: He frowned deep

Daniel: I grabbed my beer and handed it to him drink!

Robert: He pressed the beer against his lips and drank about half

Daniel: Good… now, tell me?

Robert: No, I think it's better if I

Daniel: Look, I'm about as dirty as it gets… and since you just fucked me in all the right ways, and weren't too shy to do that, I assume this must be about something you want to ask? Am I correct?

Robert: He nodded softly

Daniel: Good. No matter what it is, I will never judge you. You can ask anything freely, and I will not judge or tell it to anyone. Unless you want me to.

Robert: He sighed deeply I'm not really the shy type, so it's not that I'm worried someone would hear… it's just… a little bit hard to get the words out.

Daniel: Well, whatever it is, take your time… I'll just touch myself while I wait I moaned soft as I returned to pulling my dick, noticing his hungry eyes travel all over my body

Robert: That… urine thing you… talked with… you know…

Daniel: First off, it's called a golden shower

Robert: What is?

Daniel: When you piss on someone else sexually.

Robert: Do you have to drink it?

Daniel: Nope, not at all Rob-Rob. You can taste it and spit it out. Also, it never needs to go anywhere near your face. Andy just likes being dominated and sometimes used as a doormat… to a certain degree, there's always fine lines with these sort of things. You can just be pissed anywhere on your body, or even inside you, if that's what you would like.

Robert: Have you ever tried that?

Daniel: Rob, I have tried pretty much everything you can possibly come up with, at least once.

Robert: So if I could come up with something you hadn't done… you would do it?

Daniel: Sure… give me your best.

Robert: He thought a couple of seconds

Daniel: Anything Rob… whatever comes to your mind first…

Robert: Have you ever tried…. standing upside down, with your head down the toilet, and a banana in your ass, while someone blows you?

Daniel: I chuckled hoarse How the fuck did you come up with that?

Robert: Have you?

Daniel: Nope, can't say I have. But the real question here is, would you blow me?

Rob: Pokerface

Daniel: Alright… follow me to the bathroom! I quickly opened the fridge No bananas… hmm would carrot do?

Rob: Pokerface

Daniel: Mkay you perv! I grabbed the biggest carrot I could find in the bag, and chuckled hoarse as I marched to the bathroom with Robert right behind me. A minute later, I was standing upside down, with my head down the toilet, nose above water so I could breathe, carrot half in my asshole, Robert blowing me real nice while holding my legs. This was one of the strangest things I had ever tried. But I kinda liked the feeling. Don't tell me you're surprised.

Rob: About two minutes later he let go of me, and as I got my head out of the toilet, quickly drying most of the water off, he was already on all 4 on the floor, sticking his ass almost up my face

Dan: What now? What do you want now?

Rob: Call me a perv again while you piss me in my hole!

Dan: Was this fucking serious??

Rob: And then he started moaning as I noticed he was fucking wanking himself off. I guess he was fucking serious! Good thing our water sports had actually filled my bladder!

Dan: I grinned wide as I got on my knees, reaching for a small drawer about a meter away from me, grabbing a bottle of lube. I rubbed a lot on my dick, and a lot on his hole You sure you fucking perv?

Rob: Yes. He nodded firmly

Dan: Alright. I slipped two fingers inside him, gently opening him, and as he was open enough to slide my head in, I did. I took a deep breath and released, my urine slowly floating

Rob: He moaned deep as he felt himself getting filled with the warm liquid

Dan: You like it you perv?

Rob: Oh yes… very much!

Dan: Ahh almost done. When I pull out, you have to close your muscle and keep it in. Is that understood?

Rob: Is that the normal process?

Dan: No Rob, that's our process.

Rob: He nodded firmly

Dan: I squeezed a bit, making sure to get every last drop out, then pulled out quickly Tighten up now!

Rob: He did as I said, and I quickly planted a hand on his upper back, pushing him down on the cold bathroom floor, so his ass remained raised. He moaned deeply as he felt my fluids move around inside him

Dan: Alright, stay like that. I don't want a messy floor, so I'll just dry the few drops I spilled, and we take this to the shower. Lay still you perv.

Rob: He moaned deep as I called him perv, and staid down as had instructed him.

Dan: I turned on the tab in the shower and whistled softly Why don't you come up here? Keep it tight Rob or you will mess up the floors. Good luck explaining that one to Evan next time he drops by for cleaning.

Rob: He moaned softly and got up, but already on second step towards me, his muscles let go, and my urine was splattering down on the floor, running down his legs

Daniel: I shook my head and chuckled hoarse Well you sure mastered how to fuck up an entire bathroom floor in less than 3 seconds! Look at what you did, you filthy pig!

Rob: I watched him moan deep, and then, right before my eyes, he came. Hands free and all. Not even touching himself. Man that boy was starved to death! No wonder his wife was so angry with that lack of sex! I should do them both the favor and fuck them both! Hm.. interesting idea! But for tonight, I would have to start with Robert.

Dan: So where do you want it you pig?

Rob: He looked at me confused

Dan: Where do you want me to fuck you?

Rob: His face changed from confused to dirty pig in less than a second

Dan: Ahh… good choice! I grinned wide, walked towards him, grabbed him and lifted him to Evan's bed where we fucked each other for an hour straight.

------Congo's point of view--------

Congo: I moaned softly as I opened my eyes

Evan: Heyyy… there you are, finally. He smiled at me warmly. He was sitting in the bed next to me, and quickly reached towards the table, grabbing something from a big plastic bucket. Before I could get to ask any questions, he pressed it against my forehead, and I felt ice melt on my skin, running down my temples

Congo: I chuckled hoarse It was my back head I hit silly

Evan: Yes… at first he smiled almost apologizing I thought you would be out for a minute tops, so I kinda just kept going on till I came. And actually you came too. He blushed lightly, it was easy to see even if the light was dimmed So… there was cum everywhere, and when I couldn't get any contact to you, I tried dragging you to bed. But you're kinda heavy… and.. you sorta slipped. So you bumped your head pretty hard against the coffee table. He looked at me apologizing and wrinkled his forehead I'm sorry. Are you in pain?

Congo: I chuckled warmly You managed to drag me all the way over here?

Evan: Well, it wasn't a success, really.

Congo: I smiled softly I would say it was a pretty success as you managed to get me to bed.

Evan: Oh no… I didn't… uh… I was kinda worried when you didn't wake up… and when bumping your head on the table didn't help either, I called for Akin. Turned out he was in the garden all along. Also turned out him and Gaby put some herb in our dinner, which made us all act like rabbits…. rabbits with rabies… he chuckled softly and shook his head So Akin assumed it might end up in need for a doctor at some point, so he decided to hang around. He helped me get you up here, and did a quick check up on you. Turns out you're pregnant too!

Congo: My eyes got huge and my heart started pounding

Evan: He shook his head and chuckled softly No… but you did sorta also sprain your left wrist… so no work for a week.

Congo: So you ruined not only my head, but also my wrist?

Evan: Yeah… appears so?

Congo: So… no work for a week?

Evan: He nodded softly I'm very sorry… you're not in any pain, are you?

Congo: Hmm… as a matter of fact I am…

Evan: I can get more ice cubes! I had this whole bucket full, but most of them melted by now… you were down almost 2 hours.

Congo: It's okay sweetheart… just grab one of the half melted ones… it will do fine.

Evan: He quickly stuck his hand back in the bucket dragging a small ice cube out Where does it hurt the most?

Congo: Right here I tabbed my left breast and smiled cheeky

Evan: Ohhh he chuckled softly naughty you he stuck the ice cube between his front teeth and bend down, circling it around my nipple slowly.

Congo: I could feel the ice cube melt on my skin, making it wet. The drops run down my side slowly, making me sigh from the cold tickling feeling God you're perfect!

Evan: He chuckled softly and swallowed the last tiny piece of ice cube as he sat up straight I'm not perfect… I knocked you out, twice… and sprained your hand along the way…. I'm far from perfect in fact…

Congo: I smiled lovingly When something, or someone is perfect, it's not because it's flawless, but because you wouldn't want to change it in any way.

Evan: He blushed gently and disappeared under the blanket, soon I could feel his tongue on my growing boner.

#unicornmanes #Daniel Chase Hartwig #Robert Thompson #Danny Rook #Evan Thompson #Congo Shaw

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majestyrising · 1 year

Text

03:00.txt

Notes: Starkiller drowns her sorrows. Only content warning here is sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Usual Neo Necropolis stuff.

Pings:

It’s 3:00 in the morning. That’s what the display on Starkiller’s visor says anyway, when she lets her gaze drift to the left to acknowledge the readout. She’s been here for 5 hours, give or take.

Usually she’d be rocking out with Star Eater, her bestie and absolute favouritest boy in the entire universe, or throwing back colourful drinks with a stranger, but tonight she’s sitting on a stool overlooking the Neo Necropolis skyline and feeling sorry for herself.

She slipped away from the group about an hour ago. She can see in her mind’s eye how it went down after she left: Saint and Daiquiri probably wanted to go after her for more hot gossip but Seven told them to leave her alone, give her space.

Or maybe they thought her hot gossip was too sad to be interesting. If that’s the case she’s even more glad they’re not here. She definitely couldn’t handle Daiquiri’s well meaning pity or Saint’s straight up rudeness right now.

Anyway, the point is that she’s been using that space to wallow in her own misery and make her way down a big ‘ol bottle of coconut vodka.

A few people have come by to try to chat her up but all quickly lost interest. It’s no surprise that there’s someone else who hovers over her shoulder. She just waits for whatever corny or gross thing they’re going to slur out.

“I thought that was you,” says a voice that genuinely surprises her, “You got a seat going?”

✩

It’s Kingslayer who sits down next to her.

His iridescent bracers shimmer as he does so, the neon of his digitised palm tree tattoos flickering.

“Hey,” he says, “Real nice night out, right?”

She looks him up and down, ignoring the readouts from her visor since she’s not here to size him up. She’s just curious; he’s not here to party, that’s for sure.

He’s still wearing his usual high collared jacket and the guns (plural) on his belt are prominent.

“Yeah,” she says, without much inflection.

She tries to rouse herself, there’s no need to worry him, everything’s fine! But that’s harder than it looks to pull off. It’s a painful thing to try to remove the permanent scowl of sadness that’s now basically just what her face looks like.

“You here with Gat?” she asks, hoping to distract him from the pretty depressing state of the table they’re, littered with shot glasses and salted peanuts as it is.

Speaking of peanuts, she grabs a handful and shoves it into her mouth.

“Mhm,” he confirms, with a quirk of his lips, “He’s downstairs, wanted me to leave him for a bit. Guess I’m cramping his style.”

“I guess having the big scary bodyguard looming over you does hurt the prospects of getting dicked the fuck down,” she says, with a snort.

Kingslayer makes a face at that, shaking his head as he wrinkles his face as if he’s sucked on a lemon. He punctates that by slamming his hands down palm open on the table.

“God, do not say that ever again! I’ll pay you for your silence,” he groans, still shaking his head before he tilts it to the side and through his sour expression, adds, “He doesn’t do any of that whilst we’re on the clock.”

He points at the shot glasses, some of them full, and she nods. He grabs the closest one and drinks.

Woof, it’s strong. Good stuff, though. Makes sense, considering she doesn’t have to pay to drink here.

“Nah, just a surprisingly squeaky clean and flighty contact,” he explains.

At that her visor scrolls an incredulous ‘ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ’.

“In BLISS?” she asks, with a snort, “A squeaky clean dude who wants to buy guns, in the biggest club in the city?”

“I know, I know,” Kingslayer laughs, bumping her knee with his, “Insane, I know. But he was looking at me like he thought I’d kill him for looking at me funny!”

“You?” she says, grabbing another shot and throwing it back, pausing to choke on it before she adds, “You wouldn’t hurt a fly!”

He puts his hands on the bar stool to turn it in her direction.

“Oh, I mean, elite ex-exaltee force soldier who’s now a merc working for an arms company?” he chuckles, not unkindly, “I’m like the epitome of a dude doing the worst possible thing with his skillset. Can’t blame anyone for being skittish.”

“Well I still think you’re a pacifist on the inside,” Starkiller says, smacking her lips as the alcohol burns its way through her.

“It’s Neo Necropolis, no one is a pacifist,” he counters, amused by the very thought.

She just shrugs, so the two of them sit in amicable silence, listening to the ambience of the very drunk patrons around them and the clink of glasses.

✩

The amicable silence slowly turns tense, though.

“So,” he ventures, drawing the word out, “Elephant in the room.”

“Nope,” she says immediately, filling up another shot and throwing it back with gusto, “No elephants here, buddy.”

Her shoulders are tensed as she taps her foot against the bar stool, now staring dead ahead at the skyline instead of in his direction.

“Sorry SK,” he replies apologetically, “I gotta ask why you’re not cutting some absolutely insane shapes on the dancefloor like I hear you enjoy doing.”

She shakes her head without replying, pouring the entire line of shots once again with a surprisingly steady hand.

“I gotta know why you’re in, uh-”

He gestures at her entire deal, from the way she’s surrounded by the wreckage of a bender and crushed peanuts, to the shocking neon of her outfit seeming drab and sad.

“In this whole sitch,” he says, with a frown.

She groans, looking up at the sky despairingly. Maybe she’s hoping the Stormcatcher will strike her with a bolt before Kingslayer can continue his line of questioning.

“Look,” she says, “I don’t wanna talk about it. I’m really happy to see you, but don’t push it, okay?”

He lets out a quiet sigh as she takes another shot. She sure can hold her liquor, he notes, considering she’s still understandable despite most of her blood being straight up lighter fluid at this point, he assumes.

“No can do cap’n,” he presses on with a solemn nod, “What’s up?”

“It’s nothing,” she protests, her tone annoyed, “Drop it already, King.”

For a moment he does, and the two of them sit in further awkward silence.

✩

Until it’s too much, anyway.

“I’m not gunna drop it-”

“For fuck’s sake!” she yells.

It gets the attention of the people around them as she pants angrily. Kingslayer holds up his hands and waves for everyone to carry on, which they do.

“Okay, okay, fine, fine fine fine! It’s about Star Eater, okay?!” she hisses, leaning up into his personal space with the energy of a feral cat.

She grabs another shot and downs it, savouring the burn as more of her inhibitions flit away, the misery still there but fought by the simmer in her stomach.

“Uh huh,” Kingslayer says slowly, nodding as he does and she sits back down where she was, “Yeah, okay, cool.”

His throat bobs as he swallows, knowing damn well he’s just pouring salt into this very obvious wound.

“What about him?” he asks tentatively.

Her chest heaves in a mighty sigh as the alcohol swirls around her brain, both making things better and a lot worse.

“You know,” she slurs out, after a couple of moments of trying to fight the words in her brain into making sense.

Kingslayer rests his chin on his fist, clucking his tongue.

“Mm, guessing game, okay,” he says, “I know that you guys are super tight, like twisted up in a pretzel tight.”

She hums in agreement. Her visor scrolls a ‘o(>ω<)o’ in addition, as if he needed further clarification.

So they didn’t have a fight. Which is good!

“I saw he was with Zion,” he adds, thoughtfully, “They’re getting close, I guess?”

He couldn’t see much, except that Star Eater and Zion were in a booth together seemingly having a very private conversation.

She fills up another shot glass without looking at him.

“Uh huh,” he notes, brow furrowing, “Okay, then…”

He trails off, squinting at her face- what of it is exposed, anyway- as her expression twists and her visor reads a ‘(⇀‸↼‶)’.

What else could it be? She’s not an argumentative person, and Zion is a dick but he didn’t seem to be acting cruelly to Star Eater in the moment-

“Oh,” he says, “Wait. You.”

Oh dear.

✩

He rubs the back of his neck, the unfortunate reality of the situation now settling in his mind.

“You have feelings for him,” he says slowly, at which she viciously knocks back her next shot.

They’re tight as they come, soul mates for sure, perfect for each other. There’s just one problem.

Star Eater is about as gay as they come.

Oh, and since they’re inseparable, Starkiller will never have the space to get over her feelings.

“How long?” he asks, watching as the lights reflect off the shot glasses.

“Doesn’t matter,” she mumbles, though her teeth catch her bottom lip.

“I mean, I feel like it does,” he begins, but her head snaps up as she shoots him a nasty glare from behind the visor. He can feel it, making the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

She throws her hands up in the air in frustration, coming dangerously close to slamming her visor into the table before she leans almost all the way back on the bar stool.

“What do you want me to say?” she yells before her shoulders slump in defeat, hand snaking out to grab another glass and throw the rest of it back.

She lets out a deep, deep sigh that seems to come from the seat of his soul.

“What, hey, I know it’s not my fuckin’ biz but when I see you with other guys I feel like I want to eat glass,” she rants, visor glowing as she does, “And now you’re going through so much because of Zion and it makes me feel like my heart’s being turned inside out?”

She licks her lips, eyeballing the empty shot glass and dragging the next one closer as Kingslayer shifts his weight from left to right, his lips a thin, concerned line.

“That I don’t know if there’s a combination of drugs that’ll numb the way I feel anymore?” she continues, her anger and sadness simmering in her voice, “That if he asked me for the moon because it’d make a sick disco ball I’d grab handholds of stars to get the damn thing myself?”

Kingslayer hums softly, leaning his elbows on the table.

“I don’t know,” he says, lightly, “I feel like that kind of spontaneous declaration of love would get you a penthouse invite straight to my heart.”

He pauses for a moment, turning it around in his head.

“If I was Star Eater,” he clarifies, “And you weren’t my sister.”

Her visor scrolls ‘(μ_μ)’, which he acknowledges with a snort. His attempts at humour haven’t hit home just yet, it seems, but he’ll keep trying.

✩

They sit in silence as Starkiller dejectedly runs a finger along the rim of her shot glass.

“Did… this help?” Kingslayer ventures quietly, “You look like you feel worse.”

She shrugs at that, entire body limp and radiating fatalistic self loathing so strong it’s coming off her in waves.

“I don’t know,” she says, simply.

Kingslayer cringes at that, pouring himself a small shot and throwing it back. It burns in the back of his throat pleasantly, unlike the measure of guilt he feels about poking this topic.

“Sorry,” he says lamely.

“Nah,” she slurs, before throwing back the shot and shaking her head as she does so. If it’s because she’s trying to make him feel better or because the alcohol is catching up to her, he can’t say.

She sways slightly on the bar stool, the neon lights of the signs plastered on the buildings nearby reflecting in her visor.

Maybe it is catching up to her.

“It was nice to talk to you about it,” she says, rolling her head to the side to look at him with a placid if sad look, “We should talk more.”

He smiles, putting a friendly hand on her shoulder and giving it a soft squeeze.

“Agreed,” he says, before lifting both hands in an open shrug, “I guess we’re both still realising that’s an option, eh?”

She snorts in amusement, continuing to sway in a rhythm of her own choosing.

“Right?” she chuckles, lips curling into a smile, “Prank of the century to pull that shit on your own kids.”

Kingslayer pounds a closed fist to his chest and juts his chin up, taking a deep breath.

“Oh, if only I could go back in time to those bullies who beat me up for being an only child,” he proclaims, “I could show them- nay nay, school-hood cretins, I have a kickass older sister who I didn’t even know existed!”

He looks at her with a sharp grin, mods in his eyes shining in the moonlight.

“And then you’d come in and they’d all go ‘ooooo’, and you’d kick their asses, or something,” he says, his tail flicking.

“Sick,” she says with a faux-sage nod, “I genuinely can’t tell if you’re joking about the bullies, though.”

His grin widens and widens.

“I’ll never tell,” he says, sticking his tongue between his teeth, “I’ll take it to my grave, in fact. Then you’ll have to come dig me up and jack into my corpse to read my mind in cyberspace, and you’ll be like, son of a bitch, he was telling the truth!”

He pours himself another shot and takes it quickly.

“Or, you’ll be like, awh hell no, he was lying, I dug up his rotting corpse for a stupid joke and now I’m booboo the fool.”

She smiles at that. They smile at each other.

He’s glad that his stupid jokes can at least make her smile. They’re certainly not as close as either of them would like to be, but they’re getting there.

✩

After a while she looks past him and nods forward, towards the bar.

“Your boss is here,” she says, giving him a slight kick in the shin.

Kingslayer looks over his shoulder to see Gat at the bar.

He doesn’t actually stick out, because he’s wearing the clothes Coyote gave him, but the way he stands with such delicate professionalism still gives him away even at a distance.

Hopefully it only gives him away to Kingslayer, though. Would really suck if anyone else clocked who he is.

“Ah,” he says, “Guess I better go do my job so I don’t get fired. Or get Gat killed.”

“Yeah,” she mumbles, taking the bottle and pouring herself another round of shots.

He doesn’t love that, but he’s in no position to chasiste or stop her. He’s pretty damn sure he’d do the same thing in her shoes.

Hopefully he did some good, at least.

“Take care, sis,” he says, holding out a fist prime for bumping.

She stares at him for a moment before she raises her own and they share an excellent sibling fist bump.

He turns around to leave but pauses as she brings the shot glass to her lips and downs it.

“Just so you know,” he says, as casually as he can, “You’ll find someone who’ll pull down the moon for you too. You’re just way too cool not to.”

She turns her head in acknowledgement. He can see the ghost of a sad smile on her lips.

“Thanks,” she says, quietly. It’s almost lost in the noise of the crowd that’s forming.

✩

She watches him make his way through the noisy mess of inebriated patrons back to his employer, who greets him with a smile and a pleasant nod.

Alone with her thoughts yet again, she regards the horizon through the blurred lens of Stormcatcher knows just how many shots.

It’s gorgeous, isn’t it? Nothing but buildings for miles, dreamy neon and plumes of pollution floating into the night sky.

Right now she wishes she could turn her body into neon and float across the city, leave behind all these stupid pointless feelings that have refused to leave her no matter how obvious it’s become that they are, in fact, stupid and pointless.

But she can’t do that. She downs all the shots in order to grab the bottle and fill up another row. Enough of them and either she’ll do something to distract herself, or she’ll pass out and both are functionally the same thing. No more thinking.

No more thinking.

#flight rising #flight rising lore #fr lore #clan lore #my lore #neo necropolis #lucky star #starkiller #kingslayer

0 notes

hood-ex · 3 years

Note

I'd normally color this way different but I got a little lazy okay? Anyways, I wasn't sure what to add since the OG posts were already perfect, but I hope you like this :) (I tried sending this earlier and tumblr said something went wrong so hopefully this works...)

Waa!! This is sooo cute!! My chest is overflowing with cuteness overload at his lightbulb expression and at his desire to share his snacks 😭He went all the way to the manor to share his stale peanuts with his fam, and apparently, this isn’t the first time he’s offered to do that 😭. And his hair!! So floofy!! I love hiiim! You should totally draw more little scenes like this with the batfam! Your art style is so cute! You definitely made this whole scenario 10x better 👍!!

#Dick Grayson #also one of your other attempts at sending this to me made it to my inbox #and it made me smile to hear that my blog helped you get more interested in DC and Nightwing <333 #i am big mush rn #just imagine me clutching my heart and cooing bc i am pleading face emoji over this alskjd #thanks so much for taking the time to draw this!!#i shall treasure it foreverrrr!#vodka peanut dick #replies #fumbletums

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blouisparadise · 3 years

Photo

Upon request, here is a rec list of bottom Louis fics where Louis is pining for Harry. We hope you’ll enjoy this list. We also have a mutual pining rec list here and we will have a pining Harry rec list eventually. Happy reading!

1) Down On Your Knees, You Don’t Look So Tall | Explicit | 3445 words

Louis and Harry are friends, and best ones at that. Louis loves Harry more fiercely more than he's ever loved anyone, so he doesn't really have a problem with it when they start doing this thing. this wonderful, wonderful thing.

2) You Had Me At Hello | Explicit | 4529 words

Louis works in the shop next to Harry's cupcake shop. Louis pines after Harry until he goes into a heat and Harry finally catches up.

3) Just Like Live Wires | Explicit | 5427 words

Harry climbs into Louis’ bed when he’s cold. Louis pines.

4) Something To Live For | Mature | 5535 words

After over a century of waiting for Harry to realize they're mates, Louis gets his heart broken when his friend announces he's found his 'one' in a human girl named Teresa. Wanting only happiness for Harry, Louis accepts that it just wasn't meant to be and decides it's time to let go of the immortal life.

5) Five Times Harry Styles Was Jealous | Mature | 6184 words

Harry's jealous all the time but there were five times that definitely stand out. Five times that changed Louis and Harry's relationship.

6) On My Mind All The Time, Say You're Mine | Explicit | 9261 words

“Dude, we’re inside, and it’s night time. Those don’t look as cool as you think they do.” Louis could kick himself, he sounded so stupid, but it certainly got the guy’s attention.

It was at that unfortunate moment that he noticed several other things about this hot asshole, that he hadn’t noticed just staring from afar. First, when Louis spoke to him, his gaze was kind of unfocused behind his sunglasses, and secondly, that he had a red and white cane folded up under his arm.

“I’m… Blind,” the man chuckled, awkwardly.

Louis wanted to melt into a puddle out of pure embarrassment.

“I— am so sorry. I have to go.”

“Hey, wait, wait,” the man soothed, grabbing at Louis’ shoulders before he could get away.

“I’m sorry,” Louis repeated, looking down at his shoes.

“It’s alright,” He cackled. “I get it a lot. More than you know.”

7) Let The Beating Waves Come Drag Me Down | Explicit | 9447 words

“Just try it, the worst thing that could ever happen it’s that you won’t like it” Niall had told him. And there he was, on the way to one of these pubs created for perverts, willing to break up the routine to try something new, something that terrified as much as excited him.

One night to get swept up in passion, one night to let the devil get in.

"Tonight, I’m going to make you scream of ecstasy Louis,” he said with a raspy voice full of control, making him tremble with anticipation.

8) Got It Right Such A Long Time Ago | Explicit | 9699

There are a lot of people Harry might expect to find on his doorstep at three o’clock in the afternoon these days.

It could be the delivery man, come to drop off the pair of boots Harry impulsively ordered online last week. It could be one of his neighbors, dropping by to complain about how a party he’d thrown weeks ago had clogged up the street. It could also be any number of his friends in L.A., who stop by unannounced most days to mooch off Harry’s food or whisk him away to try some new yogurt shop.

As a rule, it definitely cannot be Louis Tomlinson, although Harry’s blinked at least three times now, and it’s still Louis standing there, a backpack slung over his shoulder and a duffel bag at his feet.

9) You Know What They Say | Explicit | 10232 words

Nice guys always finish last.

10) Call If You Need Me | Explicit | 10770 words

If anyone asks later on, Louis plans to tell them that it’s all Niall’s fault.

11) Love Is Like This; Not A Heartbeat, But A Moan | Explicit | 13150 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

In which Harry loves Louis, but Louis has been cold to him ever since he presented as an omega at age fifteen.

Eight years later, Louis approaches Harry with a request, and who is Harry to deny him?

12) Just Let Me | Mature | 14714 words

The party was going well. So well, Niall had already sworn undying love to one multi-tiered chocolate cake, two friendly corgi-poodle mixes, Zayn’s hair, and the entire population of Los Angeles. So well, Zayn had only laughed and ruffled Niall’s hair and not even twitched towards a cigarette. So well, nearly everyone had spilled far past the boundaries of the night’s original plans, extracting bottles of vodka from the cabinets and losing a lot of clothes. Harry had proclaimed that he was finally going to throw a small and very grownup dinner party and of course here they were three hours later, fifty people half-naked in the pool. Soon to be full-naked, if Louis had to guess. Everybody in LA loved a heated pool. Everybody loved Harry.

13) We’re the New Romantics | Explicit | 16054 words

Alternatively, a high school au where Louis pines and Harry is not who he seems to be. Featuring peanut butter banana milkshakes, motorcycles, and first times.

14) Wait For Me (To Come Home) | Explicit | 16066 words

A future fic of time stamps where Louis finally comes to grips with a love he'd denied for too long.

15) Deflower Me | Explicit | 20154 words

Louis is a proud virgin, and no matter how much society tries to make him feel like a freak for not acting on his natural urges, he doesn't suffer from his lack of experience. He has never felt drawn to someone in a way that made him want to get involved sexually with them, and he isn't planning on rushing himself so he can get some because people think it's what he should do.

In walks Fratboy, the Serial Haunter of His (wet) Dreams, who thankfully has a little business going on that might be just what Louis needs.

16) I Wanna Be More Than Friends | Not Rated | 20721 words

The one where Harry’s an alpha with no sense of smell, Louis’ an omega who isn’t allowed to scent his best friend, and that’s all they’ll ever be. Obviously.

17) The Way The Storm Blows | Explicit | 21649 words

Louis doesn’t have a habit of thinking about Harry’s dick.

That would be weird, seeing as they’re best mates, and they share a flat, and they’ve spent holidays at each other’s family homes. Their friendship hasn’t ever risen to a point where Louis should want to see his mate’s dick, and he’s happy to keep it that way.

Except, all that Louis can think about is exactly that. The size of it. The shape. The amount of people it’s been in.

Maybe it’s the tequila talking, or the fact that Louis’ just recently walked in to an eyeful of Harry taking turns on some slags that he’s never seen before, but. Louis’ mind can’t stop obsessing over the idea.

18) Ours Are The Moments I Play In The Dark | Mature | 30830 words

Jane Austen's Persuasion AU. Nine years ago Louis Tomlinson was persuaded to break off his engagement to Harry Styles, a poor sailor. Since then Louis has come to regret being so easily convinced to give up his one chance of happiness. Now Louis' family is in debt and his childhood home is being sold. In a complete reversal of fortune, Harry has returned to England a wealthy bachelor looking to settle down. Events conspire to bring them together once more though Louis is- must surely be- the last man on earth that Captain Styles would think of now.

19) If Ignorance Be Bliss | Mature | 30429 words

Uni AU: Harry is too experienced, and Louis just wants to get to experience him.

20) Where The Lights Are Beautiful | Mature | 31170 words

The accidental bonding a/b/o fic.

21) Mark My Word (We Gon’ Be Alright) | Explicit | 35524 words

"He’s always known that there would come a time when Harry would bond with some beautiful, quiet omega, and they would have lots of curly-haired pups and live happily ever after.

Knowing it and living it are two very different things, though. Watching the object of your affection desperately search for a mate and completely disregard you as an option is all sorts of painful, but it is what it is, and Louis is just going to have to learn to live with that."

22) Before We Knew | Explicit | 39831 words

Louis has been skeptical of soulmates for years so it seems like fate when he finally bumps into the owner of the obnoxiously large signature printed into his skin since age sixteen: Harry Styles, a human rights attorney who is firmly against soulmates.

23) Eyes Off You I Explicit | 39396 words

A Charlie’s Angels inspired fic where Louis is the brains, Harry is the charm, Liam is the muscle, and Niall drives the getaway car - and Zayn is there, too. sometimes.

24) Kiss Me On The Mouth And Set Me Free (Nut Please Don't Bite) | Mature | 42074 words

Harry is the CEO of Flora Corp, Louis is his new secretary.

"...Louis wanted him so badly. Wanted Harry to pick him up, bite him, and break him. Make Louis his, make Louis cry, make Louis a beautiful, plump, pregnant omega..."

25) Let Me Touch You Where Your Heart Aches | Explicit | 46625 words

A Friends with Benefits AU, in which Louis falls in love and Harry is jealous. There is some Karaoke singing somewhere in there, because how do you write a romantic comedy without a Karaoke scene?

26) Underneath The Moon | Mature | 46927 words

In five years’ time, Louis would be the one saying to his students about how he knew the great Harry Styles, in a time before he had ever put out an album or performed on a real stage. Harry fucking Styles had been his best friend and he still loved him, he always would. But they couldn’t stay that way.

27) The Sidelines | Explicit | 47078 words

Note: There are mentions of Top Louis.

Or Harry and Louis play hockey for Penn state and can’t stand one another, since they can’t keep their hatred off the ice their coach and team do what they can to keep their hard earned spot in the playoffs and their two star players from killing each other.

28) Waiting For The Tides To Meet | Explicit | 59873 words

Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart.

29) Pinkies Never Lie | Explicit | 83615 words | Sequel

AU in which Louis hates his job and loves Harry, Harry just wants a distraction, everyone else wants them to get their shit together, and Louis learns the hard way that new beginnings are only possible when something ends.

30) Inevitable | Explicit | 185917 words

AU where Louis and Harry used to be more than friends, but everything had to change the day Harry introduces Louis to his new girlfriend.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

#fic recs #bottom louis #top harry #larry #pining louis #blp fic recs #blp

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shinymooncolor · 4 years

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It’s Thursday, I’ve got a long weekend - so here’s a new sweater weather chat!

@lumosinlove is the mastermind behind these hilarious characters. I just play around and pretend my life is half as exciting as these guys’ lives are.

@wxlfstxrx and @siriuslyqueer are my best bro’s and always support my crazy ideas with no hesitation. 🙏🏻

If you have prompts - let me know! 👀

Sweater weather chat #4

Dumo panics. Celeste is disappointed. Tyler’s mom is thirsty. Logan has heard too much. Leo is scolded. Kuny is hungover. Nado has been dumped. He is also the king of nicknames. Walker brags. We spend another Sunday in the bat cave. I want to live there now.

———-

Wednesday, 4.32 pm

Nadotheman: @talkiewalkie I’m now at a record 8200 viewers for my live workout. 💪🏻👀

Talkiewalkie: whatever. I’m still more ripped than you.

Russiangod: I read blog. I think old ladies like

Tylerthemighty: my mom asked for your number. 61 y/o divorcee. Her book club wants to come to next match. I gave them tickets 🤓🤓🤓🤓

Eliascookie: 😂 thirsty housewives

Prongstar: nado got them old ladies. Sure you could learn a thing or two!!

Nadotheman: I am epic and my sexual encounters are epic

Russiangod: 5 minutes epic? Americans are strange

Siriously: savage

Nadotheman: fuxk off Evwhiny, Not my fault you’ve struck out for three fucking months. Remmy gotta worry about that wrist of kun(t)y’s

Fruitloops: leave me out. Also @prongstar stop changing my name.

Fruitloops changed their name to remuslupin

Prongstar changed remuslupin to fruitloops

RussianGod: not three month. Ur mom here last week. Show her good time.

Timmyforrealz: 😂😂😂 fucking got you there Nado.

Nadotheman: I hate you all. And he didn’t fuck my mom he’s scared of her. Bitch

DumoDad: language. And fruit loops is cute.

——-

Saturday 11.27 am

Dumodad created a group.

Dumodad named the group: grabby teen boy alert.

Dumodad added: talkiewalkie, newt-leo, carbo’hara, loganTremblayzzz, nado the man, RussianGod

Dumodad: first of all. This group does not exist. You know nothing. Celeste must not know anything.

Newt-leo: dumo you alright?

Dumodad: No! drove Adele to the mall. She said she was going out with friends. When I got home Celeste says it’s a date. She is 14?!?!?! My baby is in the mall with a perverted football player called Chuck? Someone has to go to the mall. NOW. I will give you my 1954 Stanley cup game puck. I cannot leave. Celeste has me under strict supervision.

CarbO’Hara: were already at the mall. @nadotheman got dumped so we’ve gone to watch a movie.

Nadotheman: I was not dumped. I ended things. I don’t get dumped.

RussianGod: she said sex was fine. She not call back. You were dumped also she winked at me when she tied shoes. Also u want buy her stuff. She just using u. Better off no girls. Poor baby Nado.

Nado the man: traitor. I didn’t sleep with that fan you took back to the hotel in philly or tell on you. So what they’re using me? I get more action than the rest of you babies combined. (Not you Dumo, don’t think I haven’t noticed those scratch mArks)

DumoDAD: I married well. Go back to rescuing my girl from that deprived creep. A footballer. Of all the idiots in that school and she chooses a footballer. Merde.

Logantremblayzzz: NO! DONT TALT ABOUT THAT he’s like my dad 😫😫😫

RussianGod: grow up. Where u think 4 baby come from? 🍆🍆🍆

DumoDAD: go back to looking for my daughter and leave my (active) sex life out of it

Talkiewalkie: @russiangod you dog!! Roadie one nighter. I’m so proud. Also go dumo!!!!

Nado the man: she was hot. No idea how he got her. Also @talkiewalkie like you’ve ever had the balls for a one nighter

Talkiewalkie: @nadotheman back off man, you’re just a baby compared to my epic sexual history

Nadotheman: @talkiewalkie huh you didn’t even play the v-card until you were 17

Talkiewalkie: @nadotheman not true. That was my first fan. V-card was my JUNIOR prom with the head cheerleader (she was totally a senior)

Dumodad: @walkietalkie no one cares you lost your virginity in the back of a Buick. My daughter is out there with a BOY. ALONE.

Talkiewalkie: @dumodad wrong username and it was a CAMRY and she was a SENIOR

LoganTremblayzzz: were at the mall. Finn and Leo scouting food hall. I’m covering first floor. @nadotheman any luck on second floor?

RussianGod: someone having sex in the bathroom

Logantremblayzzz: @newt-leo @CarbO’Hara behave. Also don’t leave me out.

Newt-leo: she’s in the food court. Also @russiangod they’re not having sex they’re fighting

Dumodad: IS HE TOUCHITN MY NAB GIRLv

Newt-leo: stress texting? Calm down they’re just talking

Newt-leo: okay he’s got his arm around her

CarbO’Hara: abort abort she saw us

—-

Saturday 11.54 am

Adele: MAMA! Leo and finn and kuny are stalking me. You promised not to tell dad. Charlie is terrified and he wants to leave and he didn’t ask me to prom

Mama: sorry mon Cherie. Your dad is in big trouble. Please call me

——

Saturday 12.01 pm

Carb’OHara: @russiangod just got scolded by guard for sitting without a tray and Adele is yelling at him too 😂😂😂😂😂😂

*pic of kuny sitting looking guilty while tiny Adele is shouting*

Dumodad: gentlemen. Why is my daughter calling me, crying cause you scared off her date? I don’t care what my imbecile of a husband has told you. You are all going home and you are all going to think about this. And NO DESSERT FOR ANY OF YOU. I am sorry you got dumped @nadotheman. @talkiewalkie don’t brag about losing your virginity in a car.

Saturday 2.43 pm

Logantremblayzzz: shit! Celeste is furious. Dumo is def sleeping on the couch. Oh fuck. She’s grounded him 😂 this is hilarious.

RussianGod: 😛

Logantremblayzzz: don’t have to worry about baby #5. He’s in the dog house for a month 😂😂😂

Dumodad: she wasn’t kidding. I’m banished to the couch for the foreseeable future. Don’t think you’re not in trouble, Logan. She wants to talk to you now.

RussianGod: nice knowing u Logan.

DumoDAD: 😬🙏🏻🥺😫

—

Saturday 3.44 pm

Celeste: Leo, I am very disappointed.

I expected this from the others but I thought you were better.

Leo: I’m so sorry!!

——-

Sunday 11.34 am

Kuny: my head hurts. I need food

Nado: it’s your own fault dumbass. Chucking vodka like it’s fucking water. Not gonna feel bad for ya

Kuny: I was homesick. U not feel bad today?

Nado: nah I can handle my liquor, you sad excuse for a Russian. What if I told your fellow countrymen you’re currently whining like a baby...

Kuny: I drink better than u. No one believe that.

Kuny: need water pleas. Also want fries

Kuny: pleas i pay.

Nado: stop texting me, I’m trying to watch a movie. Also you’re disturbing my sexting go away

Kuny: who u sext? Girl from bar? Pretty one or scary one?

Nado: I’m not telling you and maybe it’s both. Also quit texting me. Can’t keep this clever dirty talk up when I have to deal with your whining.

Kuny: I can help

Nado: you’re not helping me fucking sext now go back to sleep you big baby

Kuny: stupid also don’t wank with door open

Nado: then go fucking close it you ungrateful dick. Also you know wank but sergei and I had to sit there and help you fucking answer interview questions. Your little game of pretending not to know English is sad. Also your whole “baby face Russian giant with cute accent” bit is getting old.

Kuny: my accent is cute and I know wank cause walker told Me. Am not ungrateful u are. I not tell team lots of things

Nado: oh don’t even go there.

Kuny: I thought u busy sexting

Nado: u fucking ruined it ok. Are you clothed? I’m coming in there now.

Kuny: not naked also u lie about sexitng girls. He he. now bring me food. And Diet Coke.

Nado: ungrateful fucking hungover Russian waste of space. I hate you.

Kuny: u love me. Bring more blanket for room we can make fort and see Disney. I like little green eye

Nado: ordered some French fries and shakes now. In season. So naughty. Also We’re not watching monsters inc again. You’ve got a weird obsession with that film. Moana or the Scottish one.

Kuny: rude. Ok. Just bring food and blanket.

——

“You’re such an ungrateful roomie, scoot over you big lump. You’re hogging my blanket”

“No am not. U love me - DONT TOUCH MY CURLY FRIES”

“Funny you can speak English when people are stealing your food. Stop yelling. I don’t love you. I tolerate you”

“Shut up. Funny chicken, look like peanut When he drink”

“I’m telling him you said that”

——

Did they build a massive blanket fort in their epic cinema/game room? You bet. Does drunk Leo look like the chicken from Moana? I think he does.

#lumosinlove #sweaterweatherchats #sweaterweather #sweaterweatheroc’s #lumosinlove ocs #bromance #sweaterwestherchatsnr4

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taggedmemes · 4 years

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SENTENCE MEME ⟶ RANDOM TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT / PART ONE always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

[ text ] –– oh man, maybe i should puke on his dick, to test out how much he loves me?

[ text ] –– yeah, you need to stop having near death experiences at mcdonalds.

[ text ] –– he had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog.

[ text ] –– there’s no way i’m making it through the night with my clothes on.

[ text ] –– me and this seven year old almost finished a large pizza. and when i say me and this seven year old i really mean me.

[ text ] –– it’s always appealing to be able to someone to say ‘i banged your mom’.

[ text ] –– she broke the sink. i repeat, the sink is off the wall. send help.

[ text ] –– you were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.

[ text ] –– you should give me head with plastic fangs in.

[ text ] –– i woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother.

[ text ] –– i just want to get drunk and wake up on wednesday.

[ text ] –– i’ve seen you dance and let’s just say it’s a good thing you don’t have a small dick.

[ text ] –– the guy was wearing a viagra shirt. i knew what i got myself into.

[ text ] –– i like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers.

[ text ] –– crying while i’m pooping. i think this is rock bottom.

[ text ] –– two grown men just came into the bar riding humungous tricycles.

[ text ] –– when she was giving me head last night, it felt like there was a nascar pit crew working on my dick.

[ text ] –– at that time, a four pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important.

[ text ] –– at this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk.

[ text ] –– is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?

[ text ] –– we are NOT making a habit out of jail visits.

[ text ] –– new low, even for you.

[ text ] –– just ‘accidentally’ changed my relationship status to ‘in an open relationship’ just to see what offers i might get if i dump them.

[ text ] –– you were offering to spell people’s name for a dollar.

[ text ] –– you almost set me on fire last night.

[ text ] –– so is there some kind of punch card you and i get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?

[ text ] –– i respect you, but i want disrespectful things to happen.

[ text ] –– you were ‘drink win from the bottle’ drunk trying to take everybody’s blood pressure again.

[ text ] –– is he hot, or is my vagina just that barren?

[ text ] –– he fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. i have mixed feelings about it.

[ text ] –– it’s best not to have your booty call on social media, so if they post stupid shit, you will want to fuck them.

[ text ] –– even the devil would be scared of us.

[ text ] –– we’d be best friends with jesus, he’d love us.

[ text ] –– sometimes i feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis.

[ text ] –– you really can do anything in vegas.

[ text ] –– he’s narrating my life in a british voice and i’m way too fucking high for this.

[ text ] –– did i try to use pinesol as a mixer?

[ text ] –– apparently this establishment won’t let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning.

[ text ] –– trust me, i’m a professional lesbian.

[ text ] –– i’d say it was a successful trip, i only got hit on by one cousin.

[ text ] –– side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.

[ text ] –– i did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.

[ text ] –– from now on, you will only refer to me as chief.

[ text ] –– my new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house.

[ text ] –– just realized i’ve spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed.

[ text ] –– i wish you could order shots online.

[ text ] –– you didn’t feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it.

[ text ] –– he was fingering the outside of my pants and i knew that was my cue to leave.

[ text ] –– all i remember is saying that fire will make it better.

[ text ] –– i’m apparently a very socialist drunk now.

[ text ] –– all i want to fuck is capitalism these days.

[ text ] –– there are actual chunks of the toilet on the floor.

[ text ] –– you give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you.

[ text ] –– the whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who ends my night first.

[ text ] –– to be honest, i’m almost glad he got arrested.

[ text ] –– he was crying because he hiccuped every time we kissed.

[ text ] –– we crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand and i spoon-fed him peanut butter.

[ text ] –– you might have to deal with a coked up wrestler when you get back to the room.

[ text ] –– the last thing i need is a possessed urethra.

[ text ] –– someone should tell her that easter eggs aren’t meant to be dildos.

#rp meme #memes #texting meme #sentence meme #sentence starters #KIND / TEXTING.#BASED ON / MISC.#KIND / IN CHARACTER.

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youllneverknowrac · 4 years

Text

Oscar Diaz-Halloween

For @parkminjungqueen

Doesn’t follow the plot

“We’re about to go in, I’ll call you in a bit.” You smile into the phone, Oscar checking up on you and Cesar as you guys head to a Halloween party. The rest of the core four trailing along and talking amongst each other,”Love you too. Bye.”

You weren’t one to usually hang out with Cesar and his friends but it was Halloween and Oscar didn’t want to do anything so you decided to come out and enjoy yourself. You were only three years older than them so it wasn’t to weird or awkward. You actually got along really well with them, especially Ruby. He was your absolute favorite even though he did have a small crush on you,”Y/N, I like your costume. It accentuates your figure.” He compliments your last minute sexy dead nurse outfit.

You can’t help but laugh at the compliment, looking over your shoulder and smiling,”Why thank you count-rubila.” You tease as you glance over at his vampire get up,”You look very handsome yourself.”

“Thanks.” He replies too quickly, his voice higher than usual and his face hot,”Um let’s head in yeah?” He asks the group, everybody agreeing and letting you lead the way inside. The party lit up with lights and decorations, music blasting throughout.

“I’ll go find us drinks, wanna come?” You ask Ruby with a small flirty smile. It was fun to make the small teen blush and get flustered from time to time, obviously not doing it in front of Oscar. Ruby didn’t mind it either, he thought it was nice to have your attention. He knew that it would never go further than a few exchange of words considering your age and who your boyfriend was.

“Yes please.” He replies and locks his arm with yours,”What do you fancy? Beer? Apple cider? Maybe sparkling water?” He rambles as Jamal, Monse, and Cesar go find somewhere to chill at.

“All excellent options, but I’m in the mood for a mixed drink...maybe a vodka cran.”

“Right, I’m sure they have that here. What don’t they have? They’re rich.” He says as you guys make way through the crowd, pushing your way into the kitchen,”Let’s take a look.”

“Ooh here we go.” You smile and pick up a red solo cup, grabbing a bottle of the clear liquid and pouring two shots worth of it. Ruby releasing your arm as he looks around for something different.

“I’ll grab the beers.” He decides and takes four cans from the fridge, waiting until your finished before you guys go search for the gang.

“Over here!” Cesar calls out loudly from a couch that was pushed up against the wall,”This way!”You follow the voice and finally spot his head, Ruby handing out the drinks instantly when you guys reach them,”Nice choice compa.”

“Ooh it’s chilled.” Jamal says with a little jig as he takes his own and pops the tab. Monse offering a smile of gratitude.

“Scoot it.” You say as you squeeze yourself in between the two boys, Ruby plopping himself down on the arm rest. All of you looking around and sipping on the drinks. This section being your guys spot for the night as you take turns in grabbing drinks or food.

“I was meant for this life.” Ruby sighs a while later,”This is suppose to be me.”

“Shut up.” Monse snorts,”You would not keep up with these Brentwood kids.”

“Yeah? You keep thinking that.” Ruby defends,”I’m a better fit that all of you.”

“You’re the only one that wants to be here.” Cesar chuckles and pushes his side lightly, Ruby tipping over as his beer goes flying, soaking the feet of some white boy dressed as a stereotypical cholo.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” He asks angrily, all of you standing up,”Yo, who let these people in here?” He asks aloud

“What do you mean these people?” You ask

“Hey, just let it go.” Cesar says to you with a shake of his head

“Don’t you have any respect?” The Brentwood boy pushes

“Respect?” You scoff,”Says the white boy dressed like a cholo.”

“Excuse me?” He replies taking a step closer to you,”Excuse me? Excuse me?” He repeats, causing Cesar to interject.

“Hey, we don’t want any problems.”

“Exactly, let me pay for the clean up.” Ruby offers

“Okay, it’s 52 bottles for the wasted beer and then another 20 each for all the food and drinks you had.”

“We don’t have that kind of money on us.” You reply

“Of course you don’t.” He replies smugly

“What’s that suppose to mean?” You ask clearly

“I’m just stating the obvious.”

“Now you’re just being a dick.” You push, a low ‘oooh’ coming from the crowd that formed behind him.

“Dude, you better control your bitch.” He snaps as he grabs a hold of the front of Ruby’s costume. Ruby muttering something to Cesar as he gets up and gets in the fake cholos face.

“You better apologize.”

“No, he doesn’t have to apologize.” You shake your head, not wanting Cesar to get in a fight because of you.

“Exactly, so how are we gonna settle up?” He asks

“Like this.” You reply as you pour your own beer onto the floor.

Everything that happened after a blur, somehow you guys were being pelted with eggs. The lot of you running out of the house and down the side walk,”Run!” Ruby yells as he takes a hold of your hand. Jamal and Monse getting the worst of it since they were behind.

You guys come to a stop a few minutes later, all of you needing to catch your breath, Cesar pulling out his phone and angrily texting somebody. Jamal and Ruby disputing about ordering a Lyft as you focus on getting the egg out of your hair.

“Don’t get a Lyft. It’s handled. It’s handled.” Cesar says, causing you to get confused but not saying anything as you guys follow him back to the party.

“You want some more?” The same douche from earlier says when he sees you guys approaching, getting in Cesars personal space,”Oh. You think you’re hard? Okay.”

“I’m not.” He replies, Oscar’s car pulling up behind you and coming to a stop,”But he is.”

Oscar hops out of the car, his hand grazing your hip as he walks past you and takes his little brothers place. Everything going silent for a second as he puts his thumb in his mouth before wiping the boys fake tear drop, doing the same to his own after,”This shit’s real.” He says lowly.

“Please. What do you want?”

“Let me ask them.” Oscar smirks as he turns to look back at you and the rest of the group.

“They have a lot of beer.” You tell your boyfriend happily as you walk up to his side,”And candy. The big bars.”

“You heard her. Go get that shit.” Oscar demands as he wraps his arm around your waist,”Don’t keep us waiting.”

After the little ‘showdown’ and splitting up all the candy, you and the core four went your separate ways. All of them deciding to walk to Ruby’s as you go home with Oscar and all of his new cases of beer.

“I didn’t know he was texting you.” You say in between bites of the Reece’s peanut butter cup,”My knight and shining armor.”

“Good thing he did, I wasn’t going to let anybody disrespect you like that.”

“I know you won’t, thank you.” You smile and lean over to peck his cheek,”You’re the best guy I could have asked for.”

“You better only be asking for me.” He teases as he glances over at you,”Give me some of that. I earned it.”

“Here.” You reply with a playful eye roll, holding out the rest of the candy so he can eat it. Oscar eagerly taking the chocolate into his mouth.

“I can’t believe they threw eggs at us.” You chuckle, finding the situation funnier now,”Like, who does that?”

“I wasn’t gonna say anything but hueles como un animal muerto.” Oscar laughs, reaching his hand over to pick a piece of an egg shell out of your hair.

“See, I was going to invite you to join me in the shower since you came to my rescue, but since I smell so bad I’m sure you won’t want to.”

“What?” Oscar asks, his laugh quickly ceasing,”I’m sorry mamita, you smell good. Let me shower with you.”

“That’s what I thought.” You giggle, opening another candy and beginning to eat it. Oscar driving faster now, already knowing that you planned on showing him all sorts of appreciation tonight.

#spooky diaz #spooky x reader #netflix on my block #on my block imagines #netflix #freeridge #one shot #omb season 3 #on my block season 3 #omb #oscar diaz x reader #oscar diaz

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sore-thraot · 3 years

Text

I came to San Francisco (I knew nothing). I came to Eureka on a lark, I showered in the YMCA. I walked to Arcata on the side of 101. Someone picked me up. There was like a little creek, or a river. I am 17 years old, I never graduated from high school. "I am 17, I am looking for work. I came here from Arizona, or Maryland." He asked me if I smoked weed. "So which one is it, Arizona, or Maryland?" I blew smoke out of the window. This area of California was so fucking depressing, I don't like the trees. They seem tired. The houses seem tired. "Not too hot on Humboldt?" What's Humboldt? It's like the houses are leaning over. It's like they're dying. And there are so many addicts. And the air is just sort of sad. I guess? I don't know man. I put my hand to air vent. He took a big hit. His eyebrows went up. "Well, you know, there are worse places on earth than Humboldt County." He flipped the tape. He took a cigarette out of the cup holder and lit it. He looked out the window. What's this? He gave me a cigarette. I looked out the window. It's Nirvana. "I'm fucking hungry." We went to McDonald's.

I woke up the next morning in his bed. He gave me a cigarette. I looked out the window. I loved him a little bit. "I'm fucking hungry. What time is it?" There was half a beer on the side table, and I drank it. It likes the houses are leaning over. It's like their dying. We went to a restaurant that was open 24 hours. He said he liked watching me eat. He wanted to fuck again in the parking lot and I told him no. He gave me this look. I said I think I want to leave town. He ruffled my hair. He was old. "Where we going?" Seattle? "How about Portland. I'm off today." He had large pores on his cheeks, and his skin was tough and cold. I didn't like his face. I liked him kinda. He smelled like cigarettes.

"Okay fine." He made me fuck him at a rest stop.

We fucked at a motel in this place called Beaverton and I asked him if I could have some money to go buy cigarettes. I smoked like three cigarettes behind the mini-mart and got on a bus. Is this toward Portland? "Your going the wrong way." I got off the bus and smoked another cigarette, then started walking.

I came to Portland on my way to Seattle. I stole a six-pack from gas station and sat beside a substation. I drank like four beers and fell asleep. I woke up when it was dark and I wanted food but all I had was like cigarettes. Then I remembered I had $18. I bought another pack for $2. I went and bought three Nutty Butty's and a bag of Fritos. I ate one and stared at the moss growing on the sidewalk. She said your breath smells like peanut butter. Okay fine. I woke up and ate the last crushed Nutty Butty that was in my back pocket. She asked if I wanted coffee and I said do you have any Coca-Cola. I drank a beer for breakfast and played with her dog in the backyard.

I smoked a cigarette outside the Fred Mayer. I didn't have a job. I saw some kids hanging with their mom on her lunch break. I saw a man reading a pocket Bible. I saw a dude digging through the dumpster. I saw a line of ants climbing up the side of the curb. I caught a bus across the river. I had like $11. I bought a pack of cigarettes, a Nutty Butty, a root beer, and a Slim Jim. I went into a Toys R' Us and played Sonic at the display. I waited. I snuck into the movie theater and saw Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II. I stole a bottle of whiskey from the WinCo and took swigs in the parking garage. I smoked weed with two high school boys near the highway overpass and ended up sucking both of them off. I woke up in a pile of wet leaves.

I walked to the highway but it started it raining. I smoked a cigarette underneath the canopy at a Hess gass station. The manager guy told me your gonna "burn this whole place down". I didn't remember the name of those two boys. Jamie and Eric? Jamie and Bobby? I told the gas station manager to go fuck himself, it's raining, and walked across the street to buy a 2-liter of Coke from the Safeway. I sat eating french fries in the top floor of a two-storey McDonalds for like five hours. The rain wasn't stopping. I fell asleep for a little and kept waking up. I fell asleep for awhile and the manager woke me up and said I had to leave. I called my sister on the payphone but no one answered. I went back to the entrance ramp.

Probably should have left a message. What the fuck time is it. I put my thumb up for like an hour. I sat down on the guard rail. I tried to light a cigarette but it kept going out. A guy stopped and said he said he'd give me a ride to Vancouver. That's too fucking close. How about I suck your dick and you get me to Seattle. He said get in and then he said if you suck my dick I can get you to Centralia. I said where the hell is Centralia. He said halfway. I said put the air conditioning on and we have a deal. He put out his hand and said I'm Will. I said you really want to shake my hand. I turned on the air conditioning. He took his dick out. I said put your dick away it's not happening till we get there. He said how do I know you're gonna hold up your end of the deal. I lit a cigarette and ignored him. He shook his head and pulled away and then he asked for a cigarette.

We stopped at a gas station and I stole a Steel Reserve. I told him to fucking drive. I asked to him to calm down. My lighter stopped working so I used the one in his car. He asked if he could have some. I said you're driving. When the hell is it gonna stop raining. What kind of trees are these. These are mostly ponderosas. Some of the bigger ones are Douglas-fir. Ponderosa pines. He said you must not be from around here. I said why you getting some ideas? I took off my jacket and laid it on top of me in front of the vents. He said he was a UPS driver. He said this was his day off and that he had worked ten days in a row sometime eleven, twelve hour days. He said the contract said he had to deliver all the packages no matter what. He said the routes the were too long. He asked for another cigarette. His hands were shaking.

I sucked him off and washed his cum out of my mouth with the rest of the Steel Reserve. He was like should I pull over? I said I'm in a bit of rush. I went to Burgerville and spent my last dollar on french fries. I sat there for three hours. When I ran out of french fries I ate ketchup packets. I left and hung out by a small lake. I walked into town and stole a bottle of Smirnoff. I grabbed a cup out of the Burgerville trash and used it to drink vodka. I fell asleep for like an hour. I lit a cigarette and walked back out to the entrance ramp. I didn't like this town.

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phcking-detective · 5 years

Text

1. Caught Dead with a Beretta

Fic Title: First Blood

Rating: E

Length: 1/33 chapters, ~128k

Tags: Slow Burn, Idiots to Lovers, Trans Character (gavin), Autistic / Asexual / Non-binary Character (nines), BDSM, learning to use good etiquette and safe words, Dom Nines / Sub Gavin, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort

Chapter Tags: suicide, death / murder, verbal hazing

Link on AO3

***

Gavin's sick of working suicides—they're depressing as hell and aren't going to do anything for his promotion. He's just got to the crime scene already wants to go home. It's fucking ass'o'clock in the morning, and he hasn't slept worth shit, so of course Nines texted to let him know about the scene the second he'd finally dozed off.

The elevator ride up to the two thousand square foot loft gives him enough time to get hit with shit, did I take my meds before I left home? Fuck. Maybe?

Goddammit. Maybe he should switch to those patches and gels instead of a weekly injection. Taking his T is the one thing he never, ever forgets, so if he switched to something he could do daily and took his meds for the BPD and ADHD at the same time …

The elevator doors ding open, ruining his train of thought. Nines is here already because he doesn't fucking sleep, apparently. That hot fuckboy he sucked off once—and the beat cop for this side of town—Brayden, is in there too, but Gavin's most recent bout of soul-crippling insomnia has actually worn him down too much to be horny.

Well, too much to put forth the effort for flirting, at least.

"—huh, Nine Thousand?" Brayden says as Gavin walks up.

Nines doesn't respond.

"He's RK nine hundred," Gavin says. "Not like the meme. Super disappointing."

Brayden grins. "Yeah, but I mean like, the movie."

"Nine thousand?"

Gavin frowns, trying to force his stupid idiot brain to think. All he can come up with is 300. Maybe it's a movie based off of that one book? The like, underwater … and submarines. Something-number thousand leagues under the sea? No fuck, that's not nine thousand.

"Two thousand," Brayden says. "And one."

Shit, is that the number of leagues or the title of the movie?

"Man, I am way too fucking tired." Gavin waves him off. "I'm not even into that film shit. I just like action movies."

Brayden heaves a deep sigh. "I've seen your file, Gavin. You're too smart to willingly lump yourself in with the uneducated masses."

"May we proceed with the crime scene, detective?" Nines asks before Gavin can reply.

Brayden flinches a little. The only reason Gavin doesn't get scared himself is because he's gotten used to Nines not breathing or moving—until he suddenly does. Makes people jumpy as shit to realize they forgot about the giant fucking android just standing there.

Not blinking. Or breathing.

"Go ahead," Brayden says with a sweep of his hand, like he didn't just jump half a foot.

"May we proceed with the crime scene, detective?" Nines asks instead of complying.

"Yeah, sure," Gavin grants permission.

Nines proceeds. Gavin tries to hold back a smirk. Brayden's the pretentious kind of asshole who loves explaining shit no one cares about, but he's pretty hot too, and Gavin's not quite ready to burn that bridge to Terra-dick-bia by pissing him off. No, that sounds terrible. The bridge to … mm, dick.

Damn, he's tired.

He follows after Nines, a little worried he might wander off in his sleep-deprived state and get lost in all this square footage of prime fucking real estate. Even saints would have to work to feel sorry for dead people as rich as this.

Finally, he stumbles into a section of the open floor plan that seems to function as the living room. There's a flat screen tv nearly as big as the wall it's mounted on, a coffee table made from a whole chunk of mahogany with a half-full tumbler, and a dead guy sitting in a chair with a gun in his hand and a hole in his head.

The TV still blares out the news, and the vic's own face flashes out at them.

"This the Ponzi scheme guy?" Gavin asks.

"Maverick Russell, age forty-seven." Nines shoves a finger inside the vic's mouth with no shame or preamble. "Blood alcohol level point-oh-nine-seven. The entry wound in his head appears to be consistent with a nine millimeter Beretta."

He takes a small packet out of his Cyberlife jacket pocket and somehow has the coordination to open it one-handed. Gavin wrinkles his nose at the antiseptic smell as Nines sanitizes both hands with the wipe, even though he only touched the vic with one finger. Then he lifts that same finger to the victim's head.

"Hey!" Gavin barks. "What have I told you about that shit?"

Nines stares back at him with that unblinking, lizard-eye look. He touches his finger to the entry wound but doesn't push it in. Just brushes it back and forth, which is somehow way freakier.

"The entry wound in his head is consistent with a nine millimeter Beretta," Nines says.

"Great."

Gavin walks a perimeter around the designated living room space. At first it's just to keep himself awake, but by the second circle, he's got one of those gut feelings. Something about this scene is off. Fuck if he can tell what though, 'cause the victim was drunk, watching his own demise on the news, and has a bullet in his head from the gun in his hand.

"You feel that?" He asks.

Nines cocks his head to the side. "The circulating air temperature is seventy--"

"No." Gavin huffs and starts on another circle. "Do you like … you feel what I’m feeling?"

"Your question is incomprehensible."

Gavin sighs and grinds the heels of his palms against his eyes. He bites back a comment about this being why androids can't make good cops. Fuck knows why he's bothering to be nice now. He just wants to get this shit done and go home.

When he opens his eyes, everything swirls with black spots in front of him. What's bugging him about this? The guy is dead, the gun is in his hand, the news says—

Gavin blinks the spots away and stands in front of the vic. Fake tan, but high enough quality that it'd look real if he didn't live in fucking Detroit. Decently fit, and the open kitchen on the other side of the room has one of those blenders that cost more than his car. The loft's decorated in masculine colors, all brown and navy and black leather.

"Go check out the kitchen," Gavin tells Nines. "Tell me what's in the fridge."

Nines does as he's told, but only after considering it. Gavin takes back the lizard comparisons. He's like a cat. One of those big jungle cats that's smart enough to eat the humans hunting them.

"Dannon Oikos triple blended greek nonfat yogurt, coffee, four pack, five-point-three ounce cups," Nines says. "Dannon Oikos trippled blended greek nonfat yogurt, peanut butter banana, four—"

Gavin rolls his eyes. "Just say yogurt. What else does he got?"

"Yogurt. Eggs. Milk. Sparkling water. Chicken breast. Mayonnaise. Sliced ham. Apples. Protein shakes." Nines opens the freezer. "Chicken breast. Chicken breast. Chicken breast. Chi—"

Gavin starts giggling. He can't help it. Nines turns around and glares at him, deliberately flashing his LED red for a second.

"OK, fuck off, it's late," he says. "I'm like, super tired. Just analyze that shit or whatever and tell me if his food matches any of the latest high protein fad diets."

"Yes," Nines replies so instantly Gavin wonders if he actually even looked it up at all. "The victim's food intake matches the Eight Step Enligh—"

Gavin waves him off. "Yeah, yeah. Cool. Does the bar have gin, vodka, and vermouth?"

Maverick Russell, definitely confirmed for one of those ultra-rich masculine gym types. Not like, an actual gym rat, just that generic rich person level of fitness achieved through liposuction, personal fitness trainers, and the latest fad diet.

"Yes, along with seven other distinct liqueurs." Nines finishes checking the bar and returns to the living room. "How is this information relevant, detective?"

"This drink and that gun don't match," Gavin says when Nines returns.

Nines cocks his head again. "Match."

"Yeah. I don't see any Bond memorabilia in here." Gavin takes another quick glance around, but the entertainment center doesn't display any vintage DVDs, and rich film buffs are not subtle about displaying their collections. "He ever purchased anything like that?"

Nines's LED spins yellow for about half a second this time before he replies. "No. There are no significant purchases of memorabilia relating to the James Bond books or movies present in Maverick Russell's finances."

"OK, then why the fuck does he have a Beretta?" Gavin asks.

Nines looks at the victim, and then back at him. "That is what he shot himself with."

"Yeah, but why," he stresses. "Would this guy—this self-obsessed, rich guy masc, desperate-to-be-cool motherfucker—have a Beretta?"

"It is the tool he used to complete suicide." Nines frowns. "Is there a reason he would not have a Beretta?"

"Because it's a ladies' handgun," Gavin says. "This guy's got three different TV remotes, a flat screen covering an entire wall, jesus, how old is that scotch?"

Nines sticks his finger in it, because of course he does. "One hundred and twenty-three years old, consistent with—"

"Shit, I would've thought this guy was trying too hard when I was twenty and desperate to be cis," Gavin mutters. "Look, I fucking promise you, this particular man literally wouldn't be caught dead with a Beretta—unless he's a James Bond fan. Even then … hey, Brayden!"

"His input is unnecessary, detective." Nines cleans his hands with another sanitary wipe. "If you would be more clear—"

His jaw shuts with a click as Brayden jogs over.

"Hey, you like the Bond movies?" Gavin asks.

Brayden heaves a tortured sigh. "I really prefer foreign movies, but for an American—"

"All right, sure. Would you ever kick it with a Beretta?"

Brayden bites the inside of his cheek, opens his mouth, then closes it with a frown as he thinks about it.

"What if you were like, a super fan?"

"Why?" Brayden glances around the loft with an interested look. "This guy have some collector's memorabilia?"

Gavin shakes his head. "Nah. But why else he's got a fucking Beretta?"

"Well that's not the drink for it," Brayden says immediately, then scoffs. "A scotch?"

"Yeah, and he had the shit to make a martini too."

"Weird. You thinking …" Brayden trails off, then winces. "Ah, shit. We uh, we got a guy a floor down. Said he heard the shot that, you know. But he said it was two bangs. And you know how shit witnesses are about getting anything right, and the TV was on and—"

"That's shit I need to know," Gavin snaps. "Doesn't matter how stupid you think it is, you're the first officer on the scene, you report every-fucking-thing to the responding detective."

"Yeah." Brayden clears his throat. "My bad."

Gavin lets it slide only because now he has something to go on. "Whatever. Check me on the precon for this, RK."

"Preconstruction running, detective."

"So we got two shots." Gavin backs up so he's approaching the living room from twenty feet away. "So we should have two guns. The perp, coming in here, gets shot 'cause the vic's only got the one entry wound, but—"

Nines touches the victim's hand, and then his cellphone buzzes.

The distribution of gunshot residue on Maverick Russell's right hand is not consistent with a Beretta. The gun he fired has a longer muzzle and larger caliber. My preliminary preconstruction matches it to a .500 S&W Magnum. The victim has four registered in his name.

Gavin closes his eyes and rubs the bridge of his nose. Would it fucking kill him to send that in five separate texts like a normal person? Now he's going to look dumb as fuck staring at the screen for five minutes trying to read one paragraph.

OK, he’s got the fifty caliber Magnum, that's easy to read. Longer muzzle, larger caliber, right.

"So the vic has a fifty caliber Magnum instead of a dinky Beretta, makes a lot more sense."

Nines doesn't correct him, so that must have been the gist of the message.

"The perp gets shot—"

"Where's the blood though?" Brayden asks.

Gavin glares at him. "Can you let me fucking work?"

Shit, he's doing it again and this is why no one wants to work with him because they fuck up--everyone fucks up, he knows this, he fucking knows this--and then he just can't let it go but why the hell does Brayden think he's allowed to speak right now when—

He's not in trouble. He's not in trouble, it's just the loft, being in another rich empty room again. None of them are children and he's not in trouble.

His cellphone buzzes.

The floor has been scrubbed clean throughout the loft. I did not realize that was relevant information. I will give you full reports of my analysis moving forward.

That's not too bad to read, and concentrating on making the letters stay still actually helps him cool off a bit for once. Gives him something to look at other than Brayden's pretty, hurt face or the perfect fucking interior design that still feels like when he was thirteen and—

Gavin shoves those memories aside and starts typing out a reply.

just text me that shit

I'll prolly yell if u try telling me about the floors at every crime scene

"Am I dismissed then?" Brayden asks.

Gavin looks up from his phone and can't force out any sort of apology. He never can. And anyway, fuck him. If Brayden wants to get pissy about getting snapped at twice after a legitimate fuck up and interrupting a senior detective mid-sentence, then sure. He can fuck right off.

"Go get the maid," Gavin tells him.

"The … android?" Brayden asks.

"No, the roomba. Yes, the fucking android maid. Someone scrubbed the floors clean."

And the side table.

Gavin doesn't bother with texting back this time. "That where the blood splatter would have hit?"

"Yes, detective," Nines answers out loud.

Gavin turns back to Brayden. "So there's your answer. Get the maid, 'cause I doubt the perp stuck around himself to clean the entire two-thousand square foot floor."

Brayden hesitates.

"She's still here," Gavin asks. "Right, Officer Burton?"

Brayden gives a curt nod, but he breaks into a run as he leaves.

AP700 #480 913 876 is located in the foyer of the building, along with Officers Miller and Abrahamson. I have sent alerts to their cellphones that the AP model is needed for questioning.

Gavin starts to ask how Nines knows that but … isn't this what he was literally designed to do?

"She's not a suspect yet," he says instead. "So cool it, Terminator. And don't hack peoples' phones. That's what the officers have walkie talkies for."

Nines makes a face like Gavin just suggested they all start using smoke signals. He's not exactly the type to go all buddy-buddy on witnesses himself, but they're definitely not going to get anywhere with Nines scaring the thirium out of their one lead.

Gavin takes a moment to wallow in how much he hates this before he calls Hank. At least if he has to be up before dawn, so will that motherfucker.

"We do not need assistance from Lieutenant Anderson," Nines says, his expression souring even further. "Or my predecessor. I recognize that I did not meet the necessary level of efficiency when I neglected to—"

"Hey, this isn't a punishment," Gavin says, tilting the phone down away from his mouth. "I fucking hate Connor too, and when we have an android suspect, I get that's your thing. But right now we have an android witness, and that's his."

"Ahh, fuck," Hank's voice comes out of the phone. "Sun's not even fucking—goddammit, Reed."

"We will be at your location in twenty minutes, Detective Reed," Connor's voice says next.

Gavin stares out into space as what's left of his soul collapses in on itself at the confirmation that those two really are fucking. Not even just fucking, they're sleeping together. In bed, for literal sleep.

"Nines, tell them they're disgusting," Gavin orders. "You can put way more hate into it than me."

"Disgusting," Nines says with a sneer that would put Gavin's mother to shame.

Gavin hangs up before Hank can reply. "I know you lack the capacity and all that shit, but if it makes you not-feel any better, I bet you five bucks the perp's android."

"Based off of what evidence?" Nines asks.

"Took a bullet and kept going." Gavin steps back into place where the perp probably walked in. "He's got the Beretta, but it's just a gun to him. He grabs the vic's gun, maybe disarms him, maybe doesn't even have to after the first shot."

"The blood vessels on the victim's wrist have not been damaged." Nines starts cleaning his hands again even though he hasn't even touched anything this time. "Why would the human stop shooting?"

"TV's on, he's drinking, has a gun out already." Gavin shrugs. "Might have been a suicide interrupted by a murder. Might've fired the first shot just being scared, y'know, gut instinct."

Nines just looks at him.

"Or you don't know, whatever." Gavin rolls his eyes. "But once he realizes what's happening—maybe he couldn't pull the trigger himself, but now here's someone gonna do it for him. Maybe he just sits back down. That still work with your preconstruction?"

"Yes," Nines says. "Along with two thousand, one hundred and fifty-eight other scenarios."

"Whatever. And just like, for the record, don't ask Hank about how this suicidal shit works," Gavin tells him. "Hank might not care, but those are fighting words with Connor."

Nines doesn't move a single centimeter as he stares silently at him.

"And don't fucking fight with Connor, we don't have time for it. Anyway, if anyone gets to pick a fight at a murder scene, it's me. So." Gavin walks up to the chair with his hand pointed like a gun. "The perp gets him back down, shoots him in the side of the head, then switches the guns so the ballistics will match."

"He could have taken the victim's gun." Nines's LED spins a few yellow cycles. "It is registered in his name. The suicide would have looked more authentic."

"And that's why I'm thinking our guy's an android," Gavin replies. "Someone who hasn't ever seen a movie before in his whole life. Thinks a gun is a gun is a gun. I mean, you didn't know why the Beretta was weird, and if you made A Plan to kill a guy with this gun, would you switch it up in the middle?"

Nines's LED immediately hits blue, but it's that fake-blue that means he's really covering up a red. Gavin almost kind of … has a feeling about it?

But then the elevator doors open with Brayden and the android maid inside. Gavin's got a burned bridge, a possible eye witness, and an a murder to deal with. Worrying about his partner's not-feelings will have to wait.

***

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / 18 / 19 / 20 / 21 / 22 / 23 / 24 / 25 / 26 / 27 / 28 / 29 / 30 / 31 / 32 / 33

This fic is also available on my Patreon! $1 tier gets you each chapter a week early, so you could be reading chapter two right now~

$2 tier gets you deleted scenes and bonus content--this week, it’s extra scenes about how Nines was found at Cyberlife and how he gets his first apartment

$3 tier gets you access to the first chapters of two new AUs I’m currently writing--an A/B/O universe in which Gavin is a bitter omega and Nines is his android partner determined to help him during his heat; and a Reverse AU where GV200 “Gavin” is assigned as Detective Richard Stern’s sobriety companion

#reed900 #gavin reed #dbh #reed900 fic #dbh fic #ch 1 #uglytrashgoblin

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angels-n-bunnies · 5 years

Text

These week on I have nothing better to do before the new year.

Widowmaker: ok let's tell each other secrets about ourselves... I'm going to go first. I hate you.

Lucio: caterpiller rave! *Beep boxes*

S76: you may now kiss the bride

Sombra: astrict nuzzle and kisses astrict

D.Va: XD

S76: *looking into the camera like in the office*

Angela: after one hour of trying to put Jamison to sleep. Jamison, no! Come here!

Junkrat: *sliding down the stairs on his stomach, laughing*

Junkrat: Mako pass this idiot!

*They speed pass a mech with Hammond in it*

Junkrat: oh my god-

Genji, running up to Jesse

Jesse, backing away from the dishwasher: please!... Jesus christ...

Winston, eating a PB sandwich in front of the camera in his safari skin: I'm set for the day. I got me a peanut butter sandwich

Sombra, holding a silica gel pack: Do Not Eat. Well looks like I won't be eating these silica gel guys *air quotes, laughing*

Moira, an hour later filming Sombra in the hospital bed

Reaper, putting every fountain drink in one cup then splashing it on his mask: fuck you

Jesse: bro can I get a sip of that water?

Moira: it's not water...

Jesse: vodka! I like your style-

Moira: it's vinegar

Jesse: wot

Moira: it's vinegar pussy

Jesse: I wanna be a cowboy baebee

Ashe: hell yeah!

Jesse: I wanna be a cowboy baebee

Jesse: so I'm sitting there... Bbq sauce on my titties

Sombra, starts laughing: wah- *falls to the ground laughing*

Moira: he doesn't deserve you. if he doesn't treat you right by now you're gone.

Gabriel: I'm gone.

Moira: now go chop his dick off!

Amelie, in her mind: what do you want from me?

Widowmaker, eating a KitKat without breaking them

Amelie, sobbing: please.. just stop!

Sombra, running through the halls from a Moira orb following behind, while she yells and has "she's a maniac" playing in the background

Moira, calling Reaper: I'm here open up..

Reaper:.... As a child I was forced to eat dog food for dinner...

Moira: open the fucking door!

Sombra: hey Hana wanna go to the dance with me?

Dva: I've said no five times get a clue

Sombra, grabs Clue: hey hana-

Dva, trying not to laugh: goddammit-

Dva: -fruit

Angela: yeah it's healthy... What's not healthy?

Dva: mom! Get my nuts! Get my nuts!!

Moira, walking into lunchroom towards reaper and sombra: hola Buenos dias boys and girls

Reaper and Sombra: hola....

Moira: Sombra. Como estas?

Lucio: ayo cut the music... Somebody left an ice cube on the ground and it melted and now my sock is wet! Who the fuck want to die-

Sombra: smack cam!

Amelie, grabbing a knife: bitch I hope the fuck you do. You'd be a dead son of a bitch I'll tell you that!

Moira: low-key nobody likes you

Reaper: but high key that makes me feel like shit...

Moira: low key wish I cared

Moira, applying her banshee make-up on

Angela, walking in: oh good you're not busy..

Moira: actually angela.. I am busy...

Sombra: I almost got hit by a car, but the bright side of it is-

Reaper: there is no bright side until you enter the tunnel...

Sombra: look hot topic is that way-

Zenyatta: ok listen here bitch I'm sick of it. I am sick of it. *pulling out a tazer*

Moira, being interrogated by overwatch: no off topic questions... Because I don't want to... No- theres no! Permission denied- that's an off topic question! Next? You have been stopped.

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pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles · 5 years

Text

Knock Em Out (Girls Talk Boys Part 29)

You can't knock em out, you can't walk away, Try desperately to think of the politest way to say, "Just get out my face" Just leave me alone", "And no you can't have my number", "'Cause I've lost my phone"

Go away now, let me go, Are you stupid? Or just a little slow? "Please fuck off" Go away now I've made myself clear, I don't think so, Nah it's not gonna happen, Not in a million years

Camille took a sip of the mystery punch in the red cup Calum had just given her and made a face. It was almost too sweet but it helped mask the amount of vodka loaded into it. They were at a house party for one of Calum's buddies, Camille wasn't a fan of the guy, he was older and a bit sketchy in her opinion, but he'd made a real effort with her friends so here she was.

“Easy now babe, we know what a lightweight you can be” Calum teased grinning down at her.

Calum hadn't stopped teasing her about getting shitfaced with Luke last week. They'd been grounded from each other for a month unless they had adult supervision. Calum had threatened to spank her if she broke the rules. So of course she went to Luke's the very next day to see if Calum would back up his threats. Which he did. All of the guys hadn't forgotten her blatantly flirting with Calum either, and some things really stuck.

“What's up King? Your grace,” Michael came up behind them. “About time you fucking made it.”

“Piss off Mikey,” Camille laughed blushing a bit.

“Awww I love drunk Camille, she has no filter and this party is hella lame so far,” Michael pushed her cup towards her.

“Are you kidding this shit tastes like bad decisions and regret. Where'd you get the beer?” Camille pointed to the bottle in his hand.

“Right this way my lady,” Mikey led them over to where Luke and Summer were sitting next to a cooler.

“Hey peanut,” Camille scratched Luke behind the ear and smiled at his girlfriend.

“That dress looks really cute on you Summer,” Camille meant the compliment, the yellow dress played well against her olive skin.

To Camille's surprise she smiled back. “Thanks Camille, you look cute too. I like those shoes.” Summer replied.

Calum had stopped to talk to Ashton and a couple of people Camille didn't know, she tried not to be nervous. The boys were all here and Cal's friends had all been nice to her so far but she couldn't help but notice more than a couple girls lingering around the edges of the group their eyes glued to her boyfriend. She'd been introduced to a couple of them but to be honest they all looked so much alike Camille couldn't tell them apart. They all were tall and thin with the same contoured makeup, same bold eyebrows, and the same lip fillers. She wished Cher had tagged along but Cher hated parties like this and not being officially a girlfriend she wasn't obliged to come.

Calum slid his arms around her shoulders from behind and kissed the top of her head. The way the smell of sandalwood, leather and tobacco tickled her nose when he wrapped himself around her was intoxicating, the way his chest pressed against her back so she could feel his heartbeat was thrilling. Camille always felt like nothing could hurt her when Calum was holding her. She caught a couple of dirty looks thrown her way, but she tried not to let it bother her. She knew all too well what it was like to be jealous of Calum's girlfriend. He pulled back and smacked her ass “C’mon babe, let’s go play beer pong against Mikey and Crystal”

“I gotta drive us home babe, besides my feet are going to be killing me if I don't sit down for a little bit. I'll come find you in a few minutes.” Camille kissed him on his jaw and pulled up a chair next to Luke.

“Ooh I get to sit with the pretty girls,” Luke winked at Camille and Summer.

The three of them chatted for a bit and Camille took advantage of Summer's good mood to ask her questions about her work.

“I never properly got to thank you for my Christmas present,” Camille told her. “That photograph of Calum was amazing. You're so talented.”

“Well you know it's pretty hard to take a bad photo of these guys,” Summer chuckled and Camille nodded. “And you two really have that perfect couple vibe. You two are so cute, and I bet Calum is a perfect boyfriend.”

Camille grinned and spotted Calum across the room with a group of guys being rowdy. One of the girls, a redhead kept lingering around him, asking him questions and touching his arm when she did. She was blatantly hitting on him and Calum was either oblivious or at least pretending to be.

Camille shrugged it off, it was just part of dating a guy like Calum. Summer, however wouldn’t let it go. Summer was already slurring a bit, thanks to the vodka punch, and seemed determined to point out to Camille that same girl seemed to be hovering over Calum each time they looked up. Camille watched as the ginger who'd been following Calum around went up to Crystal for a chat. She saw both girls look towards Calum and Ashton before Crystal point towards where Camille and Summer were sitting, Camille smiled at her and the girl scowled and shook her head retreating to her group of friends.

Summer had by now climbed onto Luke's lap and they were having a noisy make out session so Camille got up and made her way to the rest of the boys.

“What was that all about?” she asked Crystal who grinned.

“You already know, I saw you watching her.” Crystal replied winking at her. Ever since the Halloween party Crystal had really warmed up to her. Camille understood the hesitation. Calum had a girlfriend when they met and there were plenty of girls who tried to interfere with both Calum and Michael’s relationships, something Crystal wasn’t amused by.

“I wasn't worried. I don't think Calum even noticed her.” Camille almost believed what she said.

“Notice who?” Calum was behind her again, his arms encircling her waist, and his chin resting on top of her head.

“The girl who's been following you around since we got here.” Camille could tell he had a buzz by his goofy grin.

“Yeah told her I had a girlfriend, I'm not gonna leave you right when you come into some money.” Calum joked and they both laughed.

Earlier in the week, after Camille sobered up from her adventure with Luke she'd told Calum about the contract she'd signed. Even though he didn't fully understand the details he was immensely proud of her, and kept telling all his friends how amazing she was at her job. The other night he'd tried explaining it to his mom over video chat but he ended up having to call Camille away from cooking dinner to help him on the details. He hated that her career kept her in constant contact with NFL players, but he knew that was his own insecurity talking. She wasn't thrilled with how much female attention he got either and if she dealt with it then he could too. Camille wasn't going to let anyone or anything get in her way.

The party was fun considering Camille was fairly sober, some of the girls were starting to get sloppy and were boldly making moves on the guys. Ashton was fending off one blonde girl desperately trying to get him to go upstairs. At first he laughed it off but as she got more aggressive Ashton finally got fed up.

“Because I'm not fucking interested okay?” Camille heard the frustration in his voice and she went to go save him.

“That's not what you said last time. Is it because I didn't let you put it in my ass?” the blonde girl whined and Camille stepped up.

“Everything okay Ashton? Cal's looking for you.” Camille eyed the blonde who was glaring at them before she retreated in a huff.

“Everything good?” Cam raised her eyebrows at him.

“Yeah, look about that...” he started.

“Ashton I know you have a past, it's not a big deal. You looked like you could use an interruption.” Camille snickered.

“Look I know Cher's told you we're not together exclusively or in a relationship but” Ashton was stammering barely able to get the words out.

“Ashton calm down, I know the deal and I love whatever y'all are doing because you're both happy with it. Good move on not going upstairs with that girl though.” Camille winked and laughed until she saw the strangest “Oh shit” expression cross Ashton's face before he looked at her.

Camille spun around and saw that same busted redhead from earlier surrounding Calum with her friends. She'd slung herself into Calum's lap, and he was frantically trying to get her off of him. Her friends were all but pushing her into Cal making it almost appear he was wrestling a spider.

“Excuse me honey, but you're in my seat.” Camille's icy tone made everyone stop and look at her. Calum stood up trying to balance the girl so she didn't topple over. Heels and alcohol won out and she went down flailing like she was trying to draw a foul.

Drunk and embarrassed she began to cry, but before anyone could help her up. A short but absolutely massive looking guy came barreling through the crowd, knocking people out of the way.

“Did you just push my girlfriend you little Asian fucker?” the meathead shouted in Calum's direction.

Ashton went to step between them to diffuse the situation but he didn't get the chance.

“First of all he didn't push her, her drunk ass fell. Second, if that's your girlfriend you need to get your girl. She's throwing herself at all these guys including my boyfriend, It's really not a good look.” Camille snapped glaring at this drunk asshole.

“What the fuck did you say you fat bitch. You think my girl wants your bitch was boyfriend?” He spat at her.

“Clearly she fucking does,” Camille saw Ashton and Calum trying to get through the guys friends who were blocking their way. Luke had come up beside her trying to pull her away but she shrugged him off. “Don't get pissed at him because your girl went looking for better dick.”

Camille tried to duck away but he grabbed her arm. Calum had broken through and was charging towards him. Luke tried to grab Camille away from him but the guy landed a sloppy punch that caught Luke in the shoulder just hard enough to knock him down. He yanked Camille back towards him.

CRACK

It was loud enough that everyone stopped to look.

THUMP

The guy hit the ground clutching his jaw. Camille stood over him beer bottle in hand.

“Don't get up. If you ever touch me again I'll kick your teeth in.” Camille snarled.

He pushed himself up earning him a kick to the ribs. “Stay DOWN!” Camille shouted before all hell broke loose.

Calum snatched Camille up throwing her over his shoulder. He carried her outside Ashton trailing behind. Calum set her down and grabbed her shoulders. “Are you crazy?” His eyes were wild and his breathing frantic. “You could've gotten hurt. What the fuck Camille?”

“We gotta go,” Ashton said “before this gets bad.”

“Okay you and Camille can drive.” Calum told him. “We'll drop Summer off and you take the others straight home.”

Ashton nodded and winked at Camille “Don't let him be to hard on you, that was awesome sweetheart.”

They gathered everyone up and loaded them into the cars. Summer didn't live very far and they'd gotten a couple blocks from her house after dropping her off when Camille heard Calum growl “PULL OVER!”

Alarmed she pulled over on a residential street in front of a house for sale.

“If you're gonna be sick you need to-” Camille couldn't finish before his mouth was on hers, his body pressing hers back into the seat. His hands all but ripped the seat belt away from her. Calum was pulling her towards him tugging her skirt up

“Baby I need you right now. That got me so turned on seeing you kick his ass. You're so fucking sexy darling, please ride me baby. I'm not gonna last long I'm sorry but I need you. Please darling need you, so much, so good,” Calum mumbled yanking her panties to the side, he buried himself in her lost completely in his desire for her.

The next morning Cher had just walked into the kitchen and was making coffee when she heard shouting out back. She looked out the back door towards the courtyard and saw a massive argument unfolding.

“Oh shit,” she yelped pulling out her phone to text Camille.

“Am I making breakfast for everyone or just us?” Ashton asked coming into the kitchen behind her. “ What's going on out there? Oh shit,” Ashton's eyes bugged out when he saw what was happening.

Camille came thundering down the stairs still pulling her clothes on. She scurried over to the back door “what's going on Cher? Oh shit well we can guess what that's about.” Camille said and Cher laughed.

“What are you talking about?” Calum came into the kitchen. The coffee had finished so he poured a cup for both he and Camille before joining them by the door. “Okay so what's this about? I thought Nick and Cody were fine.”

“I wasn't supposed to say anything but Cody has been cheating on Nick,” Camille told him as Nick was throwing Cody's belongings out on the back porch. They were both yelling at each other. Cody had his arms crossed clearly defensive and Nick was red faced and furious. When he started pointing across the courtyard Camille and Cher exchanged a glance “uh oh,” Cher whispered.

“What? What's happening? Is it someone here?” Ashton was catching on.

“Yeah...” Camille told him.

“Camille,” something in Calum's voice made her look up “who is it?”

Camille grinned “It's Harry, I caught them together.”

“When? Why didn't you tell me?” Calum looked pissed.

“Baby, don't do this. This has nothing to do with us, I didn't tell you because they didn't want anyone to know. I only told Cher because we have to deal with Cody when it all blows up.” Camille placed her hands on his chest “Please don't make a big deal out of it.” Camille didn't have the energy for another stupid argument.

“Of course not darling,” Calum kissed her forehead. “Especially when I know my girl can kick my ass.”

Ashton made cheese omelets for Cal, Cher and himself. Camille didn't eat eggs so she made herself a bagel and some of the bacon Ashton pulled out of the oven. Camille made everyone a fruit cup with fresh pineapple and pear slices. They sat on the back porch watching the days drama unfold. After breakfast Ashton went with Cal to go tend to Duke trying to avoid the arguing couple they went out the front door and around the long way. They were both still laughing about Camille taking that asshole down. When Ashton thought he saw something moving under a bush across the parking lot. He thought he imagined it but then he barely saw it again, he started to jog across the lot. Calum stopped and watched him stop and bend down to scoop up a ball of fluff.

Ashton waved him over and Calum ran up to find he'd found a tiny brown kitten.

“What should we do?” Ashton asked him.

Calum pulled his t shirt off over his head to wrap the little kitty up and keep him warm. “Do you see any others?” Calum asked holding the kitten gently against his chest.

Ashton crawled around looking through the bushes but saw no signs of other cats. He shook his head.

“We gotta get this little guy to the vet. Let's go grab Duke and we'll head out. Text the guys and tell them where we're going, that practice is gonna be late.” Calum was already headed to get his dog and his keys.

@biba3434 @toofadedtofight @babygirlcashton @slimthicccal @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 @vfdsstuff @unabashedlymyself

#5sos #calum 5sos #luke 5sos #calum hood #calum hood imagine #calum hood fanfiction #5sos imagine #ashton irwin #ashton 5sos imagine #ashton 5sos #ashton irwin imagines #luke hemmings #where is luke?#luke hemming imagines #luke hemmings fanfic #michael clifford #michael 5sos #calum hood fanfic #calum hood smut

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