#vs him stabbing her the moment she even threatened the people sam and dean cared about

[sobsicles]

truly, we do not talk enough about how cas was essentially the Psychotic Sibling. like, all the other angels thought he was One of Them and Normal, but no, it turns out he was ripping heads off of dolls when no one was looking. and like, some of them started figuring it out, but then cas was standing in doorways with knives and being generally just an all around Freak. then he would start picking his siblings off until literally no one could ignore it anymore, but dad never cared and never scolded him, so he just continued to be Like That. it got to the point where he was just trapping his siblings in a house and burning it down with them in it while they were banging on windows, and he just watched them without any hint of regret. also, from their perspective, dean and sam were just, like, his undomesticated and mangy pets. like dean was the loyal dog with scars and a broken tail, literally always frothing at the mouth and definitely had flees, and he would snap and growl at everyone else but cas and also bite anyone who came too close to him. and then sam was the disinterested cat who only hissed half the time that the dog did, but would claw your eyes out. and like, cas was just the weird bother until he suddenly Wasn't. he was unhinged. psychotic. had an unhealthy attachment to feral animals who came from dumpsters and had no training. like. we don't talk about this enough.

#thinking about how cas literally killed so many of his brethren lmaoooo #this is inspired from the juxtaposition of cas trying so hard to save duma when the empty invaded heaven #vs him stabbing her the moment she even threatened the people sam and dean cared about #this is also inspired from hannah being like 'cas pls be normal. here have an army. stop being Weird pls' #and cas was just like 'youre going to kill dean (his dog) and i cannot allow that. keep your army' and just bounced #ishim being like "why are you like this. why are you so weird. you bring those beasts inside places? also pls stop killing ur siblings' #samandriel being the bright eyed bushy tailed younger sibling who's like 'yes hes weird he just needs therapy' and then dies by his hand #anna was the original psychotic sibling but like...she just ran away to go live in the woods with wolves and forget her family entirely #hester kicking cas' dog and being like: ever since he picked you up as a stray he's changed! you bit him and now he's got rabies! #naomi the wine aunt who wants the family fortune just sitting back and encouraging the chaos and urging cas to burn more houses down #uriel the older brother who's like: i dont like your pets cas. get rid of them. be normal for fuck's sake and STOP LIGHTING THINGS ON FIRE #gabriel who left the family but ran into cas later whos not here for a long time but a good time like: #'cas your cat doesn't like me can i hang it from the ceiling fan and watch it spin' and kicks the dog when cas isnt looking #but he also feeds them treats so they only despise him half the time #michael who has never seen an animal before ever in his life: what purpose do they serve? #balthazar who stopped by the house to steal money and got trapped by cas' pets and ended up burning too wrong place wrong time #just. cas really went around slaying his siblings for some mangy feral animals because he was Weird and Psychotic #like this is literally so funny to me #he killed so many angels oh my god #he WAS the brother chasing his siblings with knives #but when he did it they were actually scared lmaoooo #sobs says things #cas bby

[mittensmorgul]

ok ok i KNOW promos are little more than glimpsing the episode through a keyhole, BUT, if it is what it looks like, i think it’s safe to say that dean is doing his Classic Dean thing, and projecting the anger he feels at himself onto other people. because we KNOW how hard it was for dean to come around to jack, and accept that he wasn’t a threat, and dean even fully embraced him as part of the family, and then.... jack maybe kinda turns out to be exactly what dean thought he was from the start.

Yeah, that’s at least a big part of this. I mean, let’s go back and look at Dean’s trust-vs-acceptance arcs way back in s4. It’s not an exact parallel, but it’s thematically similar.

And for full owie factor, I’m watching 8.07 while I’m typing this up (thanks, TNT loop), and I have it paused on the scene where Dean and Cas are having their little talk while waiting for Linda Tran to show up… Dean’s angry and hurt, and has literally created a false memory of the situation because it was too painful. So yeah, we know this is something Dean does.

But back to the example I was gonna use here. In s4, Dean was being asked to trust Ruby, despite all his instincts screaming at him not to. Obviously Dean never developed a parental relationship with her, she never fully entered his sphere of trust the way Jack has, which only makes this a thousand times worse now. Because Jack DID get through Dean’s defenses, and proved he was worthy of being there, in Dean’s inner circle of family.

And despite everything, Dean’s gonna hate HIMSELF for what Jack’s done now. Because HE feels responsible for not being able to handle Jack’s death back in 14.08, because HE pushed to find a way to bring Jack back, because HE didn’t know how to handle things when Jack wasn’t doing well again, because HE allowed Jack’s “I’m fine” to stand even back in 14.14 before he burned up so much of his soul to kill Michael, and because HE didn’t know how bad things were getting for Jack now.

I mean, if DEAN had only been able to hold Michael back, Jack would never have had to risk his own soul to save them. If he’d just thrown himself in the ocean, Jack could’ve been FINE, right?!

I mean, Dean doesn’t know that Jack already wasn’t fine, and that he was already casually burning up more and more of his soul to hide his symptoms in 14.14. Dean ALSO doesn’t know what Cas sacrificed in order to bring Jack’s soul back in 14.08. And he’s gonna feel like crap when he finds out, because Cas did that for him, because he honestly believed that Dean would rather have Jack healthy and whole than him. And just D: D: D:

Cas and Dean are BOTH in this boat– Dean because of the guilt surrounding everything to do with Michael and his own personal perceived failings in that regard, and Cas who has now literally thrown everything away FOR NOTHING.

Cas staked EVERYTHING. HE. IS. on recovering Jack’s soul, and he’s horrified and had been in denial that it was lost forever. For NOTHING.

GEE. I WONDER WHY HE DIDN’T TELL DEAN.

He was so desperate he set out to find God again. Not for the reasons he did back in s5, but for incredibly PERSONAL reasons. I mean 5.02:

CASTIEL: I killed two angels this week. My brothers. I’m hunted. I rebelled. And I did it, all of it, for you, and you failed. You and your brother destroyed the world, and I lost everything, for nothing. So keep your opinions to yourself.

and from 5.18:

CASTIEL: I rebelled for this?! So that you could surrender to them? DEAN: Cas! Please! CASTIEL: I gave everything for you. And this is what you give to me.

Can you imagine sacrificing literally everything you are, all chance at future happiness included, for someone who KNEW exactly what you had given up, only to have that person feel their “mission” was more important than anything else? Who was willing to sacrifice both of them to complete that mission? Because that’s what Jack has done.

If Jack’s soul really is gone forever, then Cas’s sacrifice has been for nothing. But Dean’s reaction is clearly coming from a place where Dean himself knows nothing about that sacrifice. Because Cas didn’t want to burden him with it. And Jack KNEW that.

But there’s so many of these threads coming together in the plot knot currently. and heck, this scene from 8.07 is on my screen rn:

DEAN: That was a bonehead move back there. You could have gotten yourself killed. Why didn’t you wait for me?CASTIEL: Well, I didn’t get killed. And it worked.DEAN: And if it didn’t?CASTIEL: It would have been my problem.DEAN: Well, that’s not the way I see it.CASTIEL: Hey, everything isn’t your responsibility. Getting me out of Purgatory wasn’t your responsibility.DEAN: You didn’t get out. So whose fault was it?CASTIEL: It’s not about fault. It’s about will. Dean, do you really not remember?DEAN: [laughs shortly] I lived it, Cas. Okay, I know what happened.CASTIEL: No. No, you think you know. You remembered it the way you needed to.DEAN: Look, I don’t need to feel like hell for failing you, okay? For failing you like I’ve failed every other godforsaken thing that I care about! I don’t need it!

Sacrifice, self-worth, free will and choice… same themes, different go-around on all the loops here.

One last thought… Jack’s had a LOT of Star Wars references around his narrative journey. Dean’s been worried Jack could go Dark Side since the day he was born. I mean, Dean was worried at first that Jack was BORN dark, and it took him A LOT to separate out the guilt, horror, and grief of Cas’s death back in early s13 for Dean to even BEGIN to see that Jack wasn’t inherently evil. It took Cas coming back from the Empty (that metaphorical Dark Side), and then Jack’s time in the AU fighting alongside Mary for him to truly feel that Jack was growing into the Light Side of the Force.

It wasn’t that Jack killed Nick, because it had become clear that Nick was just Lucifer Lite (all the evil, none of the archangelic mojo), and despite being given several chances to stop, Jack did what we all knew had to be done. Only… the WAY he did it was just horrifying in itself. He could’ve just… zapped Nick dead instantly. He could’ve snapped his fingers and turned him to dust like he’s done to so many others, going back to the angels he poofed in the AU during s13. Heck, he could’ve shot him or just stabbed him with a knife. Nick was human. It would’ve killed him. But instead, Jack wanted him to suffer. Jack inflicted slow torture on Nick, believing he deserved to suffer. And that Jack was righteous in being the agent of that suffering.

That wasn’t a reflection on what Nick might or might not have deserved, but on JACK, and the fact he’s not in control of the Force anymore. The Dark Side got his claws in him, and it’s controlling him now.

It reminded me a tiny bit of one of Dean’s lessons during 6.11, while Dean was playing Death for a day. One touch and he could end the suffering of people slated to die and send them on to their afterlife– be it Heaven, Hell, whatever. It wasn’t DEAN CAUSING this guy’s suffering, but kinda… choosing to let it go on a lil bit, because the guy had been willing to shoot a KID just to rob a convenience store:

TESSA Hello? Tick tock.DEAN He’s in agonizing pain, right?TESSA Uh, yes.DEAN Give me a minute.

Dean then called the guy’s spirit a dick, and basically told him he was going to Hell… I mean, I get it, it feels good to watch someone get their comeuppance. But it’s another thing entirely to be the cause of someone’s suffering, even if they richly deserve it. To actively, vindictively feel justified in making someone suffer the way Jack did to Nick there. Nothing else mattered to him in that moment, and if Mary hadn’t been there growing more and more horrified, who even knows how long that torture would’ve continued. It wasn’t at all about what Nick “deserved.” We all get it, he deserved to suffer. It was about what this (and his actions in the next scene talking to Mary) said about JACK.

Like soulless!Sam, he can’t even see how wrong his actions are. He becomes defensive when Mary tries to explain, as carefully as she can, why she’s concerned for him. But Jack’s self-preservation, and the preservation of his beliefs about himself in a fundamental way, were threatened. He tried to rationalize and defend his actions. He told her Sam and Dean were GRATEFUL that he’d killed Nick and stopped Lucifer from coming back. And yeah, we all are, but that’s dusted now and we’re left with this deep concern for Jack instead.

He needed his actions to be justified, to be approved of, because without his own internal moral compass, he NEEDS the “What Would The Winchesters Do” validation. And Mary couldn’t give it.

At this point, I’ve typed so long I’ve got one last example from the TNT loop, at the end of 8.08. Fred Jones finally gets to confront the evil man who’d used his power to do bad things and got a lot of people killed in the process. When Sam and Cas confronted Fred, and woke him up enough to recognize what was happening, Fred used his power to kill the evil doctor. He didn’t drag it out, just forced the guy to turn the gun on himself while telling him that he’d never hurt anyone else again. But then Fred could see how his powers had been used for evil, and instead of attempting to defend or justify any of this, he voluntarily allowed his powers (and much of what made him him) to be extracted so that he could never be used that way again.

Jack… did the opposite.

This is all tied up in Cas’s personal issues with his own power, his identity, his endless struggles for and against Heaven, what he’s personally sacrificed for his loved ones. And heck at this point I don’t even remember the initial question, so I hope I’ve answered it…

*scrolls up to reread this before posting*

wow this reply went places…

#spn 14.17 #spn 14.18 #spn s14 spoilers #spn 8.07 #spn 8.08 #spn 6.11 #spn 14.08 #spn 14.14 #spn 5.02 #spn 5.18 #Anonymous #spiders georg of the tnt loop #s14 meta rewatch