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amandacanwrite · 2 months
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The Violet Thread of Fate || Part Four: A Bath, A Temptation
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Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Join Taglist
POV || 3rd Person Alternating Between Gale and Elinna (tav)
Scenario|| Elinna Inklynn is an orphan with an uncanny ability to mess up even the simplest of spells. It's not her fault; she hasn't ever had access to a proper teacher. But she has had access to books, and she's read about a certain gentleman wizard in Waterdeep that may just be willing to help her.
She books passage on a ship from the Moonshae Islands and sails to Waterdeep, only to be rejected by Gale Dekarios. He doesn't take on apprentices.
But their paths become inextricably intertwined when an enormous Nautiloid targets the City of Splendors.
Word Count || About 5,300 Words
Warnings || Age gap (about ten years, both adults) description of pining for someone's body (Gale pining for Elinna.) Mentions of abuse and neglect.
A/N || I hope you all like this installment of Violet Thread of Fate! Apologies for what seems like a relatively low-stakes set of chapters, I am trying to do some set up for bring Halsin, Astarion and The Fox into the narrative, but I needed to get Elinna and Gale just a smiiiidgen more established for it to go the way I'd like it to!
Taglist || @verba-writing @softvampirewhump @horizonstride @thoughts-of-bear @mymybirdie @tiedyedghoulette @drabblesandimagines @madwomansapologist @hijirikaww @tryingtowritestuff24 @laserlope @auroraesmeraldarose @puckprimrose @dont-try-pesticide @cherifrog @circusofthelastdays  @nourangul @crucibelle @fan-aaa-tic
A Bath
It was a cold breeze that woke Elinna. 
It slipped in from under the old wooden door; through the window, if it could be called that. It was just an opening in the decrepit masonry of the castle where she’d been left to rest. 
It took her a moment for her to realize that the lumpy hay mattress and the damp, threadbare blanket on top of her were not her lumpy mattress and damp blanket from The Nest.  For a moment she thought meeting Gale and winding up on the nautiloid was a dream; albeit a long winded one. 
But when she rolled over in the bed and pulled the blanket tighter around her to fight off the bitter cold of the coastal breeze, she opened her eyes for a moment. There in the moon-gray dark of the night she found a room she was not at all familiar with. 
She scanned the room in a half-awoken state, not thinking any real thoughts–more like bursts of impulse between the undulating waves of sleep that threatened to take her away in their churn. 
She saw the usual desk. The privacy drape. The almost melted candle. Her waistcoat had been taken off and neatly folded, set on the writing desk. Her bloodied boots sat in a pile not far away from there; her gloves tossed down with them, also bloodied.. This room wasn’t her room…so what…ah–that’s right. 
She’d been so exhausted she didn’t feel herself drift off to sleep. Gale had been carrying her on his back. Where was he? 
Another breeze blew into the room and set her teeth to chattering. Gods above, how was it colder here than at The Nest?
She rose to her bare feet, keeping the blanket tight around her as she shuffled over to the desk. 
She knew very few spells, of course. And most of them, she only knew with very little command–but there was one she was decent at, because she used it nearly every day. She could produce a flame.
Nothing terribly impressive, mind you–but it was more convenient than having to ask the ArchLibrarian for matches; more convenient than having him ask her why she was going through so many of them and finding out that she’d been sneaking books into her room to read while the others slept. 
She breathed into her cold hands before shaking them, encouraging her blood flow into her fingertips. After giving her hands a few moments to catch up with the rest of her, she focused on the fingertips of her dominant hand, she took a deep breath and plucked at the same little flicker of magic she always used for this little party trick. She snapped her fingers, and sure enough, a single flame engulfed the farthest knuckle of her index finger, as if her two middle fingers had been a flint struck by her thumb. 
She lowered that finger to the wick of the single candle in the room before shaking the flame off her fingertip the same way one might do with a matchstick. 
It was hardly enough light for human eyes, but Elinna didn’t need much. She’d been lucky to pick up darkvision from her half-drow lineage; an appreciated perk despite how much she hated the violet tinge of her scars and freckles. 
She caught a glimpse of those old scars on the inside of her arm and wondered idly if Gale had seen them. Wondered if he’d made any judgements of her based off of them.
The doorknob jangled and turned and Gale appeared in the doorway. Elinna looked over at him and was surprised at the flood of relief that filled her lungs. She hadn’t realized she was worried that he’d left her there and gone off on his own, but that was the only explanation she had for the shift in her sense of ease. 
He was holding two tin plates with porridge, boiled fish, and roasted carrots piled in small, tidy quantities. They met eyes and Gale’s eye’s flicked about her. 
“Oh–you’re awake,” Gale said, voice a bit choked with something she couldn’t identify.. “Are you feeling better?”
“Is your…hair wet?” she asked him. 
He was newly dressed in a similar robe to before, but this one was slightly different. It had a shorter length with a more open panel in the front. He was wearing some more sturdy leather boots as well, and he had a new multi-layered belt with a knife and short sword holstered to it. He carried two small packs over one shoulder, which he dropped onto the ground near the desk. 
“Oh, ah, yes,” he said, hurrying over to the writing desk to set down the plates. The scent of lavender and bay leaf rolled off of his warmer body with him in such close proximity.  “I went to refresh myself and see if I couldn’t conjure a few comforts to get us through the night. While searching, I happened to find a natural hot spring.”
“You’re kidding!” she said, feeling a swell of relief all over again. Not only would she get to have a bath but a warm bath? What a treat. “You have to show me where it is! I’m dying for a hot bath.”
“It’s not far–just a hop and a skip behind the–”
A click sounded from the door and they both looked toward it. Gale’s brow tensed before he walked back over to the door, testing the knob. A willowy voice came through the door a moment later. 
“Seeing as supper has been served and your lodgings are in order, we will be locking the door to prevent any unfortunate mishaps through the night,” it said. 
“Absolutely not–we’re guests, not prisoners!” Gale shouted through the door. “Unlock this door right now.”
There was no answer. 
“Open the door!” Gale demanded again. 
“Don’t bother,” Elinna sighed. “He’s probably already gone–don’t you have a spell that could unlock it?”
“Under other circumstances, but I’m afraid my capacity to reach into the weave is utterly tapped out until I get a proper night of sleep,” he said a bit sourly. “How did you ever put up with conditions like this?” Gale griped, turning to her, his brow still furrowed. “I’ve never met such learned men who were so…so…asinine.”
Elinna shrugged and leaned against the edge of the desk, her ample hips displacing one of the unfortunate looking plates. “You get used to it, I guess,” she said. “They never locked us in when I was at The Nest, but we also never really got visitors…maybe it’s standard protocol.”
“You’d think they had Karsus’s Grimoire locked up in their archives,” he said, smearing a hand down his face and pinching the bridge of his nose. 
While Gale had his conniption, Elinna was realizing with no shortage of disappointment that her hopes for a hot bath were all but dashed. Unless…
“Hey Gale…” She said as looked over toward the bath with a little pout. “I know you said you’re tapped out…but do you think you have the energy for a little cantrip?”
“Probably,” he said, looking skeptically at the plate of food and pushing the boiled fish with one of the wooden utensils given to them. “Why do you ask?”
“Well…do  you think you could conjure up some hot water for me to take a bath?” she asked.
“I’m sorry, what?” Gale said as he blinked, his brows shooting up. “With me in the room?”
“Please,” she begged gently. “I feel so disgusting. If I have to sleep like this while you’re sitting in here looking all sparkly and smelling nice, I’m going to feel even worse.”
“Absolutely not,” he said. “Elinna, you shouldn’t take baths with strange men you just met. Er–rather–with them nearby.”
“You’re not strange! You’re Gale Dekarios! And there are drapes for privacy,” she said insistently. “It’s not like I’ll be putting on a show for you or something.” 
“A Drape! Singular! And it’s holding onto its sorry, threadbare life by a thread!”
“Gale, what else am I supposed to do?” she asked. “I’m still covered in blood and sweat–I need a bath.”
“You can wait until tomorrow,” he said. “We’ll have our very bland supper–get some sleep, and–”
He met her eyes again and she wasn’t sure what he saw there, but whatever it was it seemed to pull on his heart strings. He rubbed the back of his neck before using the same hand to smear down his face. 
“Fine,” he said. “I got my chance to clean up, it seems only fair that you get yours. I can only imagine how wrong it feels with myself being properly tidied up and you still…well… I must emphasize, however, that this falls squarely outside of the usual confines of propriety.”
Elinna beamed and nodded eagerly, thankfully.
“Duly noted,” Elinna said. “I promise I won’t tell your mother.”
He leveled her a deadpan look. “Don’t patronize me,” he said. “It’s not about being afraid of my mother it’s–”
“I’m just teasing you,” Elinna said. “Don’t worry, Gale. I trust you to be a gentleman. And besides that–I’m pretty sure that you don’t see me as…well– I just mean–it’s not as if I’m trying to seduce you. If I thought at all that I was a temptation to you, I promise, I would wait until tomorrow.”
“Of course,” he agreed quickly. 
“I’ll be quick,” she said. “I promise.”
Gale heaved a sigh and picked up the other plate, handing it over to her.
“Let’s eat this unfortunate meal and then I’ll get your bath ready,” he said. “It looks utterly inedible, but we’ll need whatever strength we can get for the journey tomorrow.”
She smiled and nodded, taking a bite of the familiar mush on her plate.
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A Temptation
Gale had always been told that hunger was the best seasoning–he supposed that didn’t apply to the fare served at The Scribe’s Guild. Yet he choked down every bite of those roasted carrots; that boiled fish–in hopes of prolonging the inevitable. 
If I thought at all that I was a temptation to you, I promise, I would wait until tomorrow.
Why hadn’t he spoken up then? Why hadn’t he argued with her further?
Well, likely because, in order for him to object to what she’d said, he would have to admit his own embarrassing thoughts of attraction to the young woman. Admit that he had been having plenty of improprietous thoughts about her as he had her hoisted up on his back–when his hand had supported the softness of her waist.
He told himself it was a strategic move. That he needed her in order to safeguard against what might be catastrophic down the road. The true resurrection in his possession would do little good without someone available to cast it, after all. He needed an ally and he wouldn't risk losing one because he was touch starved and lonesome and…er… long deprived.
He told himself that the sooner she bathed, the sooner she would be properly dressed. The less he would have to remind himself to look away from the delicate skin of her chest and the way the neckline of her muslin dress fell off her shoulders despite the number of times she pushed her sleeves back up where it was meant to sit. 
Now that he thought about it–very little of her clothing seemed to fit properly. Her waistcoat fit well enough, but her dress was oddly loose; she seemed to swim in it. 
He was glad he’d been able to find something for her to wear, hoped that they fit properly and that she didn’t mind wearing Mystra’s colors–and slightly outdated fashions. Then again, he doubted The Nest cared much about the current trends in women’s clothing. 
When they were finally finished eating, Gale begrudgingly prepared a hot bath for Elinna, the act simple, really–even with the majority of his energy spent. It was a simple enough process and, if he was honest, seeing her face brighten when it was done was almost enough to make it worth the discomfort of feeling like a rakish cad. He conjured some light in the room to make it look more like a lodging and less like they were thieves sneaking around by candlelight.
She was practically buzzing with excitement to get in, so he leaned over and handed her the smaller of the two packs he’d put together. 
“I put a change of clothes in here, I think it should fit, but let me know if it doesn’t,” he said. 
“Oh! You…just have women’s clothes laying around?” she asked.
He gave her a withering look. “It sounds awful when you say it like that. No, not just lying around. It’s an old gift from…a friend. It’s one of the old cleric robes that followers of Mystra used to wear.”
“Really?” Elinna said, green eyes widening. 
“Don’t get too excited,” he said. “Any imbued magic is, unfortunately, long gone. But it should be a little nicer than the leathers and canvases you’ve been wearing. They don’t seem well suited for travel…”
A lie, of course. Aside from Elinna’s boots, her clothing was more than suitable enough for traveling. But the longer he’d thought about the scars on the delicate skin of her wrist and forearm, the more his stomach churned at the idea of her putting those garments back on. 
He wasn’t sure why it bothered him so much, but it did. It still did–even while she was dressed down to her tan dress and leather trousers; even as she barely looked like she belonged to the strange order that was putting them up for the night. 
He was still trying to figure it out as she hurried behind the privacy curtain and started to undress. 
He wouldn’t have known she was undressing–except the lighting he’d created in the room was just placed well enough that her shadow cast against the threadbare drape as she pulled her muslin dress up and over her head. The light caught the softness of her waist, the gentle, sloping curve of her breast before it peaked at her nipple.
He forced himself to tear his eyes away from her. He would just need to distract himself. 
He told himself it wasn’t Elinna in particular that was pulling this silly desire out of him; that if could have been any member of the fairer sex that had this effect on him. Elinna just happened to be the convenient, ever present option. 
He insisted that had to be the case as he heard the quiet slosh of Elinna stepping into the hot water and heaving out a comforted sigh. He took a book out of his pack to distract himself from imagining what she looked like flushed across her shoulders and her chest from the hot bath water. He glared down at his book about foraging in the wild as he tried not to wonder if the comforted sounds she made in the bath would be the same if she were touched in just the right places. 
“So–shall we get to know each other better?” Elinna asked from her bath. 
Gale nearly jumped out of his skin, teeth grinding. 
“Elinna, don’t speak to me while you’re bathing,” he said, his tone clipped. 
“Why not?” she asked him. 
He heaved a sigh while bunting the heel of his hand against his forehead. Mystra grant him strength. “Elinna, I don’t want to be an ass, but are you so far removed from civilization that you can’t glean why it’s not appropriate for a bathing woman to be holding casual conversation with a man?”
There was a moment of silence, the sound of water being poured, the faint trickle of movement in the tub. “I mean–not that far removed, no,” she said. “I used to sing in the taverns back in Moonshae. Plenty a drunken man has told me what parts of me he wanted to see and well…they weren't my eyes, let me just say that.”
“So then why the play at naivety?” Gale asked, resisting the urge to turn toward her. “You clearly know why it could be a problem to talk to a man while you’re nude. The…intimacy of it.”
“I suppose I just…thought you were above such things,” she said. “I just thought that our unique circumstances lent themselves to bending the rules of propriety just a bit.”
Gale sighed. She was right–he should be able to act with a little more decorum than the drunks at the taverns. He should be able to extract a more distilled version of his maturity and be able to speak to a young woman without thinking so much about the shape of her body and what it would be like to feel it under his hands. 
“Gale?” she asked. “Are you angry?”
“No,” he said, turning a page in the book he was reading without really seeing it. “Sorry, it’s just been a while since I’ve had such constant company. Most of the time it was just me and my tressym, Tara. She was stimulating company to be sure, but it’s been a while since I’ve had more human companionship. I admit I’m not used to it.”
“I’ve never really had it,” she said. “I guess that’s why I’m so keen to fill the silence. It’s hard not to be excited to have a friend.”
“A friend…” he said, repeating that word again. It was the second time she’d called him that since they’d met. 
“Oh–” she said, her voice getting smaller. “I suppose that is a bit presumptive…I’ve done it a couple times already, too. I’m sorry.”
“No need to apologize,” Gale said. “If I’m honest–I just feel a bit guilty because I’ve hardly been a good friend to you. It doesn’t feel like I’ve earned the title.”
“You’ve been a splendid friend–perhaps not at our first meeting, but every moment since,” she said. “You tried your best to keep me safe from the Nautiloid even though you barely knew me. And then you offered to accompany me to try and figure out what to do about these parasites…”
“To be fair, you’ve been a great help to me, as well,” he said. “You helped me out of that pocket realm and found this place; got us room and board for the night.”
“That’s what friends do,” Elinna said easily. 
“Elinna,” he said. “Since we’re friends…can I ask you a personal question?”
“Sure,” she said. 
“Those scars on the inside of your wrist–”
There was an abrupt sound of something heavy plunking into the water, like she’d dropped her hands into the tub to hide the scars he’d mentioned. 
“I don’t have to ask about them if you’d rather not talk about it,” he said. “I’m not trying to pry, or to bring up something painful…”
“No, it’s okay. I suppose it’s only fair that I be honest about it if we’re going to be traveling together,” she said. “Mm–what’s your question about them?”
“Did your caretakers at The Nest do that to you?” he asked. 
“Tney did,” she said. “A long time ago, the ArchLibrarian at The Nest wasn’t very kind. When I was six and he was teaching me how to read, he used it as a method to deter me from failing.”
“Hells,” Gale said under his breath. “I can only imagine how well that worked…”
He heard her laugh a little and for some reason it hurt his heart. “Not terribly well,” she admitted. “But I needed to learn to read in order to be able to return the archives to their homes on the shelves. That was when I started sneaking literature into my room at night, so I could practice reading on my own.”
“Did the punishments stop after that?” Gale asked. 
“Well–that particular ArchLibrarian died and a new one took over,” she said. “So the caning stopped, but other punishments took its place. Sometimes I’d be sent to bed without supper, or if I really made an error I’d be tasked with handling the rats and spiders in the cellars. It only took one bout of paralysis for me to do everything I could to avoid that particular punishment.”
“How did you make it out of there with all of the…earnest fervor you have? If I was in such a situation, I feel like I would have disappeared within myself.”
“You see my overcoat out there?” Elinna asked. 
“Yes.”
“If you open the breast pocket there’s a little locket inside.”
Gale hesitated for a moment, feeling odd about rifling through her things, but he finally carefully looked through the folds of canvas and leather until he found the piece of jewelry. 
It was a lovely, delicate little thing. It was about the size of a gold piece and fastened to a velvet choker that was worn threadbare in some places. It had been handled a lot, almost like someone had rubbed their thumb against the plush fabric habitually. The pendant was a dark metal with almost a violet sheen to it. There was a thin sliver of a crescent moon on it with a couple sitting on it as if it were a hammock, cradling a child between them. 
Elinna’s name was written in Drowic on the seam of the locket. 
“It’s imbued with drow magic,” Gale said. 
“Mhmn,” she responded. “Powerful stuff, too. I’ve never been able to find someone to open it. That locket is the last thing my mother gave me before leaving me on the steps of The Nest.”
“Why not just find a wizard to do it for you?” Gale asked. 
“I tried to,” she said. “But the last one I spoke to told me it may have some sort of bond with my blood–that I’d have to be the one to open it.”
Gale examined the piece a little closer, feeling out the weave and the threads of magic, following their winding paths. 
Whomever Elinna had spoken to had spoken true, the threads all coalesced on her. Any wizard worth his salt would know that trying to manipulate that magic might destroy the item all together. 
“Do you think your mother was a wizard?” Gale asked. 
“I don’t know,” Elinna said. “I think I’ve just always hoped that if I could get it open, I could find where I really belong.”
The orb in Gale’s chest reached out for the thrumming weave in Elinna’s locket. He rubbed his free hand over his chest where the bundle of magic growled for the item, as if a bit of petting could soothe the burning hunger there. 
Not this one, he told the netherese shred of magic in his chest, just a bit longer and I’ll get you something we can use.
“So that’s why you came looking for a teacher,” he said. “And why you wouldn’t settle for someone who could teach you simple folk magic or healing magic.”
“Yes,” she said. “And why I was hesitant about your offer to introduce me to another teacher…but…well beggars, choosers.”
Gale heard her take in a deep breath and then a small splash as Elinna dipped beneath the surface of the water. While she soaked out of earshot, he carefully put the locket beneath layers of fabric, careful not to leave it out for the sun to get to it and hurt the magic sourced from the underdark. 
He was having a hard time not getting distracted by this girl. This was always his plight; he was always far too empathetic to deal with stories like Elinna’s. He was a bleeding heart for people who were unlucky and downtrodden–people who were alone in life and had no one to encourage them. 
Gale had the sudden wish to take her back to Waterdeep–to introduce her to his mother who somehow always had extra love to spare. It wouldn’t have been the first time his mother made up for a lack of love in one of his friends’ lives, but Elinna perhaps deserved it more than anyone else. 
He heard Elinna resurface and heave out a sigh before starting to get out of the tub. 
“Done already?” he asked. 
“I promised I would go quick,” she said. “Besides, it feels strange to talk to you without looking at you.”
He focused down on his book as he listened to the faint shift and twinkle of the clothes he’d fetched for her. He heard the faint little grunt as she dressed, the sound of belts being unbuckled and buckled once more, and then she came around the privacy drape, newly clothed. 
Her amber hair fell in damp ribbons down past her waist, her face was faintly flushed with the warmth from the bath. She looked comfortable and at ease in her new clothes, though he somewhat regretted the reminder of Mystra on the tapered ends of her skirt and the collar of the leather padding. 
“Feel better?” he asked. 
“Oh, so much better,” she said with a soft breath. “The clothes are a bit tight but…I also don’t have many clothes that properly fit me. Does it look okay?”
She turned this way and that. 
The truth was, she looked fetching in it. The greens and tans of the Scribe’s Guild livery may have done more for the verdant quality of her eyes, but the pale violets and ashen chainmail of the cleric’s robes made the color of her coppery hair all the more vibrant, and paired nicely with the almost mauve quality to her freckles. 
He chose not to think of the ways the openings of the skirt cleared a path all the way up to her thigh, and thought even less on how well the lines of her violet trousers followed the full curve of said thigh. 
“It fits you like a glove,” Gale finally said. “Nothing looks too tight from where I’m sitting. 
She smiled at him and heaved a happy breath. “Thank you again for giving me something new to wear,” she said. “It feels good to be clean again. I was worried I’d be stuck in blood stained clothes.”
“Happy to help,” he said with a pressed smile. “When I have a bit more energy, I’ll get some more comfortable lounging clothes for you to wear so you don’t have to sleep in armor.”
“It’s not so bad,” she said. “At least, I can put up with it for now–probably better to be safe than sorry anyway.”
“You should never underestimate the importance of a good night’s rest,” Gale said. 
“Speaking of which, you should probably get to bed, don’t you think?” she suggested. 
“Me?” he asked. “No, I meant you.”
“I’ve already gotten some sleep, I’ll remind you–you on the other hand, have not,” she said. “And besides, there’s only one bed.”
“I’ll sleep on a bedroll on the floor,” he said. “You take the bed.”
“I’m not tired,” she said. 
“First of all, yes you are, I can see it in your face. Second of all, this is likely the last full night of sleep we’ll get for a while, considering soon enough we will have to take turns keeping watch. So you take the bed.”
“I think I may be able to out-last you,” she said. 
“Do not,” Gale said. “Make this a competition.”
“Why? Afraid you’ll lose?” she teased. 
“Afraid neither of us will get the sleep we need because I’m terribly competitive. My mother won’t even look at a lanceboard anymore,” he said. 
She laughed and the sound brushed up against some long forgotten impulse in the back of his mind–one he’d put away a long time ago. 
“Okay, fine,” she said. “I’ll take the bed, but I still haven’t gotten much of a chance to get to know you better–you already have a full catalog of my childhood and all of the piteous stories that go along with it.”
She walked over to the bed and sat back down on it. 
“Lie down and I promise to tell you all about my childhood–though I’m afraid it’s not nearly as tragic as yours….it may feel more like I’m bragging, actually,” Gale said. 
“Hmm,” she said. “I think I can put up with a bit of bragging. I like listening to you talk.”
She laid herself down on the bed and turned onto her side to look at him, folding her arm under her head to use as a makeshift pillow. “Regale me,” she said. “No pun intended.”
He barked a soft laugh. “Careful with telling a man like me that you enjoy listening to me talk,” he said. “I’ll take far too much advantage of something like that.”
“I do, though,” she said. “After a life spent in a library, you can’t blame me for enjoying the simple pleasure of a good conversation.”
“Well–there will be no shortage of good conversation with me,” he said. “The only thing I’m better at than magic is talking–gratuitously.”
She chuckled and his heart fluttered a little as she looked at him with sleepy eyes. He got started talking before he let his mind drift to the last time a woman looked at him like that and what activities may have preceded or followed that look.. 
He told her about his youth–about how he was such a gifted young wizard that he’d caught the attention of Elminster, and then Mystra herself. He left out the part about taking Mystra as a lover. He skipped his inevitable folly and luckily, by the time he got to that part of his story, Elinna had already started gently dozing off between sounds of acknowledgement in regards to what he was saying. 
With time, her quiet mhmn’s and uh-huh’s ceased and he was almost certain that she was crossing the threshold into a proper, restful sleep. 
He swapped from talking about himself to reading out of the foraging book to fill the quiet room so that she didn’t automatically wake in the new silence that took the place of his prattling. When her breaths became slow and steady, though, he set the book aside and got his bedroll ready for the floor. 
He’d be feeling the ache in his bones the next day, of course, but it was only what could be considered right for their sleeping arrangements. An older man shouldn’t share a bed with a young woman–least of all one he’d spent the better part of a day trying not to have improper thoughts about.
He dropped his concentration on his light evocations and sent a little gust of air to blow out the candle that more resembled a pool of melted tallow. His bedroll was close enough to the bed that he could hear Elinna’s rhythmic inhalations and exhalations. He looked outside as the moon hovered. Far away, he could hear the hush of waves crashing on the shore and for a moment he almost felt like he was back at home. 
He closed his eyes and let himself imagine that he was laid in bed with Tara curled up next to him and the promise of a warm cup of tea in the very near future. 
He couldn’t decide, however, if he was quite as homesick as he should be. 
As he drifted off to sleep, he couldn’t help but admit to himself that it was nice to have the warm presence of another person near him. He couldn’t help but admit that he had missed the closeness of another body–the camaraderie of a shared experience, however terrible this one had turned out to be. 
Maybe he could try taking on an apprentice again afterall.
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kritzenkriegen · 9 months
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mother of god I got the material override to work
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asexual-society · 1 month
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Hii hope you have a wonderful day today! -I wanted to ask something to make sure im not being mean but- is it possible for an Ace person to be Aphobic? Im in a fandom where there used to be a Ace character- he said he was- thing is, the show never said he was SexRepulsed- but fans took his lack of interest as such. believed he was in fact SexRepulsed. -that character is gone- now, there is yet another character (think, a reboot of the old one) believed to be Ace but this time, he seems to be ok with touch an even seems very friendly ~ with only one character. my ask is, if some people view this second version, as still Ace. but sex favorable, is that aphobic? is maybe having another view on this chracter that is questioning himself, a bad thing? because this is said a lot, that ppl is being aphobic for "refusing to accept he is sex repulsed" or "using the fact he is questioning himself to ship him" (mind you-most shipart is literally hand holding and being buddies) hope Im making sense- im so lost and I trust your blog to help me (because im also scared to be harrased for asking this inside that fandom)
Hey! (We got your other ask, I got half way through answering it and then forgot, so I will get to that soon I promise) Good to hear from you again :) I ended up going a little off topic here, but I hope I managed to fully answer this (if not, just send another one). Also get ready for some parentheses.
In answer to the first part of your question, yes ace people can be aphobic (many ace people can be arophobic, but also acephobic, both to people who share their own identity and others who have a different identity under the ace umbrella).
This is a pretty interesting question actually, because there is acephobia at play in the situation you're describing, but not necessarily in the way those people mean. It is NOT acephobic to have a sex favourable ace character, that's fine, because there are sex favourable aces out there and they're just as much a part of our community as those who are indifferent, averse, repulsed, or some sort of mixture. Sex favourable aces have just a much right to see themselves represented as sex averse aces, but unfortunately, there is so little asexual representation that it can feel like if one flavour of ace people are represented, that that representation has been taken away from aces of other flavours.
It's totally understandable to feel that way, but that doesn't mean those feelings are actually justified? And people get pretty negative reactions for complaining about any lack of rep, which can lead to bad feelings all round and just creates even more of a divide between us. We have to understand that our individual experiences not being represented is NOT the fault of other ace people. It's not fair to want one group to miss out on representation, just so another can get theirs. Additionally, it can be important for people who are questioning or struggling with their identity to work through that in their art, and explorations of things like touch aversion and touch starvation can be very nuanced because one person can experience both to very high degrees, and they each can even compound the other. And, a sex favourable asexual person will not feel the same way about sex as an allosexual person, and that is an equally nuanced and interesting (and fun) thing to be able to explore.
I don't know what media this ask is about, so I can't comment on specifics, but I can admit, I've been frustrated by this sort of thing in the past; it can be really hard to shake an instinct to push back when you feel like you're being treated unfairly, but sometimes we do have to step back and understand that everyone in our community feels the same way, we just want to see ourselves and to feel seen by others. As a person who is both aro and ace, and doesn't want to have sex or be in a romantic relationship, I don't feel represented by characters who are alloace in the way an alloace person does, or sex/romance favourable aroace characters in the way sex favourable aroace people do, but they probably feel that same way when they see aro characters or sex averse characters. It does really suck when people outside of the community ignore and erase the identities of aspec characters because they don't feel our experiences are interesting or valuable enough to represent and explore, but that isn't what's happening on an intracommunity level (as in, within the ace community).
The recent discourse about shipping aroace characters has sort of been getting me down, because it's a complex topic and rather than being a black-or-white, two sides thing, there are people with good and bad takes (mostly bad, let's be real) coming from so many different directions, there is so much nuance it would take me much more than one little answer to cover (and let me tell you, if I were to try, it would not be on this blog!). I might have said this before, but I tend to avoid fandoms of media with canon aroace characters for the most part for this exact reason, and within the community we are SO far ahead of where the rest of the world (and even the rest of the queer community) sees aspec people, I genuinely believe (call it cynical if you like) that this will continue to be a problem for several more years. And like, you can just block people and move on with your life, your fandom experience will be so much more enjoyable if you block people who say shit you think sucks, aphobic or not. Everyone should do this.
I think this is probably long enough now, and I've definitely missed something important, but I hope it helped.
~ mod key
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jpegthedogthing · 3 months
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dick n die are two words that are SUUUUPER close together n nobody's freakin talkin about it. why isn't anyone worried how close these two words are to bein each other huh. GUYS!!!
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0verclocked · 1 year
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7xwc · 11 months
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no capricho teu CU
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oakhold-cheerios · 2 years
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The computer editing sctjbsdhi- PLEASE do more /no pressure!
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i'll be onto that
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ikamigami · 2 months
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I recommend blocking user visionthefox and their alt dk-vtf-count. They're just a distasteful person in general. And I saw them making fun of Sun fans for complaining that Sun isn't present in the episodes, when what Sun fans are actually complaining about is that he's not doing anything in the show/plot. They're mocking Sun fans about it and saying that you guys are saying that it's the Solar and Moon show now.
Yeah, you're absolutely right.
I blocked their main account. Thanks for the alt, I'll block it too.
I just don't get it... Why all the hate for Sun's fans? What did we do to any of these people?
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michithing · 7 months
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learned how to edit textures for sfm(vtf files)
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so now this notebook can show Pyros cool little drawing
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amandacanwrite · 1 month
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I am currently writing the chapter which will bring Halsin and The Fox into Violet Thread of Fate
Good News: all you lovely people who wanted a continuation of The Bear and The Fox (with some speecy spicy) are going to get your wish very very soon.
@softvampirewhump @horizonstride @thoughts-of-bear @mymybirdie @tiedyedghoulette @drabblesandimagines @madwomansapologist @hijirikaww @tryingtowritestuff24 @laserlope @auroraesmeraldarose @puckprimrose @dont-try-pesticide @cherifrog @circusofthelastdays @nourangul @crucibelle @fan-aaa-tic @listen-to-navi @spillthetaesissy
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transmorolians · 22 days
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okay to combine these two crosshair mods i will have to find out which weapon scripts use which crosshair textures. and then i have to extract every crosshair texture i will need to merge, and merge them together in an image-editing program, and then convert all of the merged textures into vtfs. then i will need to edit every script that uses the crosshairs i've merged to use the correct file. there's a total of 69 different scripts i must comb through and possibly edit.
i've also noticed one crosshair mod uses crosshairs that are set to 512x512 resolution, but the other mod uses crosshairs that are set to 2048x2048 resolution. i don't know what this means but it has to do with numbers and that scares me
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jpegthedogthing · 3 months
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youtube
he's even blu what do i need to say bout this
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0verclocked · 1 year
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Projector slides from Portal, ripped from slide1.vtf
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trekkie-lkm-archive · 3 months
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Info: Kirk/Spock sharing a moment, a rare, split-second display of affection (quick hug, kiss on the brow, etc) in a semi-public place (deserted hallway, secluded balcony, you know) and is SEEN BY SOMEONE (author's choice).
And for, as they say, TEH BONUS POINTS: later that someone bumps into Kirk and/or Spock and is all "I'm totally ok with it and very happy for you guys and don't worry, your secret is safe w/ me *cheesy wink*".
I know, this is like a voyeurism kink but with no sex vtf? But whoever writes this will make me sooo happy. :D (thread)
Fill: 1/1
Author: stardate64783
Archive Link
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sw124 · 1 year
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Happy St.Patricks day! & Happy Birthday to Clover!
This is a bit early but I thought I’d post now, Yes St.Patricks day is upon us, be sure to wear some green and enjoy all things fun. Also I’ve made this day my Oc’s Birthday just for obvious reasons. An since its her Birthday she wants to invite all her friends for some Cake, tea, hot chocolate or any drink you like [non-alcoholic mind you]
She’s inviting @castercassette @1luckyrubberducky @rainy-nomad @dk-vtf-count @strawberrymothteeth @kitkats21 @zus-a-fungi @synthwaveshaman @rosieanimations6456 @lilmissnia @jillybean2011 @eomlotanis to all have a slice of cake. Please enjoy an have happy St.Patricks day and spectacular week!
[basically draw your oc [any oc, doesn’t have to be FNAF] eating a slice of cake an having their favorite drink while wearing green thats it really XD]
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Valve Archives for Left 4 Dead and Left 4 Dead 2
Found a fan archive that has released and unreleased concepts and goodies of Left 4 Dead files.
Examples of files that can be opened with Source Engine are: .bsp, .vtf., .tga
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