#wait does this count as a shitpost | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

meowzfordayz · 6 months

Text

when you forget to close the door while using the bathroom

Author’s Note: this isn’t nsfw, but it’s ~explicit for other reasons. 🚽🧻💩 #shitposting #literally

when you forget to close the door while using the bathroom

Hashira x Reader, Kamaboko x Reader

Word Count: ~800

CW: explicit language, poop references

~faqs~

Do you even love him ????? 😭😭😭

WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN?!?!?! 🫠😵‍💫🤢

Haunted by your little gasps for air 🙃

Can’t take intimacy srsly for a while

Bc whenever you gasp ~cutely into your kisses 🥰

Zenitsu just flashes back to you doing your best to take a shit 😮‍💨🥴

Highkey takes it as a challenge 😏

A display of dominance, if you will 😎

Nods in approval (not that you can see him)

And takes ~notes for later (aka yes, he is listening closely 💀)

You don’t know it yet

But Inosuke’s already planning his move

Drink a ton of coffee (he’ll have to ask Tanjirou how to brew it) ☕️

Eat a ton of dairy 🧀🥛🍦

Make sure you’re home 😌

Take a shit (w/ the door open, ofc) 🤗

THAT’LL SHOW YOU WHO’S BOSS !!!!! 😤😤😤🫡

King of the Toilet anyone??? 🚽👑

Wonders why everything sounds louder??? 😬

A respectful gentleman tho ☺️

Will go upstairs to avoid the plops 🫢

Too bad his hearing’s phenomenal, even when hiding on top of the roof 😃

A little irritated 🙄

But whatever

You prob just reeeally had to go

He understands 😶

Will nonchalantly ask you about it the next time you’re out w/ friends 🤨

Is getting ignored for the rest of the night worth it? 🙃

Kinda 🥲

Obanai has regrets 😞

Can smell the situation from a mile away 😅

Tbf, closing the door wouldn’t have helped much 😬

Has to contemplate whether it’s worth embarrassing you over

Like, does he gently ask, “Love, would you mind closing the door?”

Or does he wince grin and bear it

Unfortunately, the toilet paper he would use to plug up his nose is currently unobtainable 🧻☹️

Should he just knock himself out for now? 🤗

You’d prob be upset if he didn’t wake up in time… 😒

Hm… 😔

😵 <— Tanjirou inhaled too deeply

“BAAABE, YOU FORGOT TO CLOSE THE DOORRR!!!!!” 🩷💕💞💓💗💖💘💝

Giggles to herself as the door slams shut 🤭

(you’re not mad, but you had to kick it closed bc it’s a lil far from the toilet seat 😅)

Holds it against you 😌

“Shinobu, could you get me a glass of water?” ☺️

“I don’t know, my dear, could you close the bathroom door?” 😃

“Shinobu, I want a kiss.” 🥺

“Mm, and I want to forget your pooping noises. I guess we can’t always have what we want.” 😃

Chuckles to himself, at first 🤭

And then becomes concerned 😕

Is it supposed to sound like that? 🙁

Or take this long?? ☹️ Should he intrude? 😖

It’s not like there’s a closed door for him to bust down…

He could just, waltz in-

Internally scolds himself: Bad idea, [y/n] would not appreciate that!

Returns to the drawing board

And settles on a careful (once you’ve returned to him), “So, my love, are your bowels feeling okay?” ☺️

🧐😒😠 <— you

😶😬😁 <— him

“They just, uh, sounded wonderful earlier?!”

“Next time, how about closing the door?”

*Sanemi is casually leaning against a wall near the bathroom entrance*

You shriek 😳

And smack his shoulder 😡

“Sanemi!!!!! Do not wait outside the bathroom like that!!!!!” 😭

“Did you wash your hands?” 😏

“SANEMI!” 😒

“... well?” 👀

You are not amused 😐

He acquiesces 😅

“Okay, okay, I confess, I heard the sink running.” 🤓

“I hate you.” 🥲

“But you trust me enough to shit with the door open.” 🥰

“Piss off.” 🙄

“I’m about to!” 🫡

(bc, y’know, he’s about to go… piss… 😆)

Doesn’t really mind

Will prob forget to remind you about it later 🙃

Until the next time you do it

…

By the fourth incident, Muichiro gives up

If anything, he’s flattered you’re so comfortable around him ☺️

Altho he is a lil worried about your ability to use a public bathroom 😶

Def uncomfortable 😕

But even more uncomfortable at the thought of discussing ~it w/ you ☹️

Giyuu knows you wouldn’t be upset

Or even embarrassed

You have like, 0 shame, as he’s both lovingly and unfortunately come to learn ☺️😬

Which means

If he mentioned it, then you’d likely end up teasing him 🫠

“Love me so much, you’ve even gotta listen to me poop?” 😉

*shudder shudder* 😭

(I mean, yes, he does love you that much, but when you put it like that 🥴)

Giyuu settles on hoping that it was a one time mistake 🤞🙏

Good luck 😃

Tengen’s never letting you live it down 😝

Will write out instructions on “How to Use a Bathroom” 🤓

And stick ‘em on both sides of the door

Step 1: Open the door

Step 2: CLOSE THE DOOR

Step 3: ✨Do your thing✨

#hashira x reader #kamaboko #headcanons #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #zenitsu x reader #inosuke x reader #gyomei x reader #obanai x reader #tanjiro x reader #tanjirou x reader #mitsuri x reader #shinobu x reader #kyojuro x reader #sanemi x reader #muichiro x reader #giyuu x reader #tengen x reader

289 notes · View notes

weenwrites · 10 months

Text

Cooking A Meal: Part 2

Summary - You ask one of the cons to cook you a meal, but honestly it goes about as well as you'd expect. Characters - Megatron, Shockwave, Starscream, Soundwave, Dreadwing, Knockout, Breakdown, Airachnid, Predaking, Darksteel, Skylynx Content - Crack Category - Headcanons Trigger Warnings - None

✎ A/N: This is an un-revised shitpost, not something too serious.

[ Please do not repost, plagiarize, or use my writing for AI! Translating my work with proper credit is acceptable, but please ask first! ]

Megatron

Don't even bother having him try to cook you something, he can't cook at all. More often than not he'll just send some vehicon off to fetch you a meal, but when he's actually put in a kitchen and told to cook a meal, he'll probably serve you a plate of charred... Stuff.

It reeks and honestly you can't even tell what it used to be. The most he knows about cooking is that humans always heat up their food. He doesn't know how cooked a piece of meat or a slice of bread has to be, and despite knowing how useful patience is, he can't bring himself to wait a couple minutes for a slice of bread to turn golden brown.

Even with some instructions he doesn't understand a single word on that page. What does "fold in the cheese" even mean?! All in all, the food tastes awful, the presentation is awful, and it's not even a nice experience, he somewhat cleans his mess, but still, it's an awful experience. Even your local fast food restaurant would serve something better than what he could make you.

Shockwave

He wouldn't be too bad at cooking... However the meal he's served you is most likely made from some artificial substitute... It's not bad, per say, and it has a higher nutritional value than everything in your kitchen combined, but... He didn't stand in a kitchen to make it, he stood in a lab and fabricated it. That aside, it's plain and has a bit of a weird taste, the presentation sucks, and it's not naturally made, it was fabricated in a laboratory. It counts as science. Not cooking. So nevermind, he'd be bad at cooking.

But if he were to cook, he'd get into the technicalities of all, and spout food science facts at you. He'd tell you all about how proteins in meat force out moisture through coagulation, and that's how meat cooks. Or how amino acids and simple sugars are rearranged to change the color of meat as it cooks. Unless you know about food science yourself, all it may sound like some scientific garble to you. Whether you implore him to continue or not is all up to you.

But just because he knows about the chemical composition of a cracker doesn't mean he knows how to make things taste good. He chooses things based on their nutritional value, not their taste. Everything from meal portions, to seasonings, to even the temperature it was cooked at is all carefully measured to ensure that you're getting your healthy fill of nutrients. He doesn't even allow you to season it afterwards, because any more seasoning would disturb the healthy balance.

Still, while it may be nutritious, it certainly isn't delicious, but at least it's 100% edible and extremely healthy.

Starscream

He didn't know humans cooked their food, he thought they just ate it as is. So you'll have to explain a lot of stuff to him before either of you actually get anywhere. But once he gets the basics down, he'll be off to a rough, yet good start!

He's very particular about the way things are organized in a kitchen, and he'll get real annoyed if you moved something like a spatula or a spoon he was using. He's sorta set up this organization system in the kitchen that works specifically for him and no one else. While it may look like a mess on the outside, it works really well for him.

He'd never touch raw meat, even if it were to cook for you. He just hates the feeling, so you'd basically have no luck at getting him to scrub a chicken down with salt and seasoning unless you gave him a pair of gloves or a brush. But even if he's a bit squeamish, he's very thorough with his work, and very patient too. But he does complain about how long it takes for things to prepare things and then cook.

Might be a bit burnt here, and a bit bland over there, but if you pick some parts out and sprinkle some salt, pepper, spice, or hot sauce on it, it makes for a solid-ish meal! Which is pretty impressive, given the fact he once knew nothing about cooking a few hours ago.

Soundwave

They're actually a really good chef, better than everyone else, that's for sure. Soundwave knows where and how to learn what he needs to know, so it wouldn't take long for him to research and grasp the bare bones of cooking. And after a couple of tries, they could definitely whip you up a 5 star meal that tastes like something the best chef in the world would make.

It's almost scary how fast he learns, but hey at least you're getting like one of the best meals in the world using cheap ingredients from your fridge. Like who knew ketchup could taste so good in place of fancy marinara sauce!

And because of the amazing meal he made, it's without a doubt that he is the undisputed best chef aboard the Nemesis and everybody else's skills immediately pale in comparison. If it were a competition, it would've been over the moment they joined.

Dreadwing

Like almost everyone on this list, he has no idea what to do, and he has no idea what humans eat, so it ends up being a bit of a lecture before he actually starts cooking. It might take him a bit, and he'll stumble here and there, but he's always quick to ask good questions to ensure he has a solid grasp on what he needs to do.

He's quick to pick up anything you teach him, like about cutting vegetables, or seasoning meals, temperature, et cetera. And in a while, he's able to follow a recipe rather well, only occasionally coming to you to ask a question about what "folding" or "basting" or "al dente" means.

He'd serve you a pretty solid meal all in all. But on the off-chance that what he made for you had caused you to get sick, he'd immediately and sincerely apologize to you, and most likely never make you a meal ever again.

Knockout

He has some knowledge around human cooking thanks to the internet, and it helps the slightest bit, but for the most part he'll be bugging you with all his questions about human cuisine and cooking.

And all the while he's cooking, he'll ask you to fetch him things like that kitchen knife over there, or that measuring cup—no, not that one. That one was used for wet ingredients, he needs the other one that was used for dry ingredients, now chop chop. The clock's ticking. Or he'll holler at you to come and help hold the bowl as he scrapes the mixture into another pan.

Surprisingly, the kitchen actually remains rather nice and orderly throughout it all. He fills your sink with water and just leaves the dirty dishes in there to soak, and cleans messes the instant they're made, which greatly helps with clean-up afterward! But he won't touch the dishes. He just hates the feeling of scrubbing grimy food off, so you're on your own unless you give him a pair of gloves.

But as for the food itself? It's... Semi-decent! He may have burned it a little, or messed up one of the steps, but it still tastes good and it's still edible. He even decorates it nicely! He'd chop any vegetables into cute little shapes, and he has a good eye for presentation. So it's pretty nice.

Breakdown

He doesn't know anything about human cooking. He does question where the heck human food comes from though, and the most he knows is that humans consume other organisms, which he finds really weird. So in the beginning, the whole cooking session might be more of an educational session than anything, but only so he understands what humans can eat and what he should be doing.

He technically doesn't do any cooking since he just makes you things like instant noodles or instant mac n' cheese. But he'll need a bit of supervising because with the noodles, he'll put the seasoning packet in the water while the noodles are cooking, and then drain the noodles because he thought that the noodles would absorb the flavor (same goes for the mac n' cheese), but it turns out that the cheese water just goes down the drain. So it technically isn't completely his fault that the food may taste off (because instant food doesn't always taste that good...) but he does mess some of the steps up which contributes to that.

But with a little guidance here, and a little trial and error there, he'll actually be able to whip up something pretty decent using the instant stuff as a base! He'll add things like chopped up vegetables or spice for some flavor in some instant ramen, or cook the macaroni in milk and add some mustard for mac n' cheese, or perhaps crack an egg and add some garlic into some insta-soup.

All in all, it's a pretty solid meal for his first time cooking. But does it really technically count as cooking if he used an already pre-made thing to make it?

Airachnid

If she didn't care about you as much as she does, she would've fed you something poisonous if she didn't ignore your request first. She's... A questionable cook... To say the least, but one thing's for sure, all the meat she uses in her cooking is fresh. And I mean fresh as in "she dragged that animal into the kitchen and slaughtered it on the spot" kind of fresh, which is ideal if you're eating something that requires super fresh meat like oysters.

She doesn't burn the food, but she most likely under-cooks it. As for seasoning, well, she doesn't add any, so whatever you're eating will need a whole lot of salt, pepper, and spices either to taste like something, or to distract from the horrible taste the food already has.

But while the food may taste weird, the presentation's interesting. It's something of an art, made from something you don't even think you can call "food" anymore, but it's interesting to look at.

All in all, the food tastes horrible, the presentation's neat, and you're 100% guaranteed to get food poisoning if you scarf the entire meal down (which you won't, the stench is bad enough to kill even flies).

Predaking

He can't cook at all—actually, he doesn't even know what humans eat, so you'll have to explain to him quite a lot. Even then, he'll probably just bring you a dead animal and assume that's enough. You'll actually have to lecture him on cooking meat, preparing ingredients, and whatnot. So this whole thing turns into a cooking lesson as opposed to doing actual cooking.

He soaks all that knowledge up like a sponge, and with his newfound knowledge of cooking he's able to make something relatively decent for you, if not leaning more towards mediocre! The meal is something simple, probably from a cookbook you have at your house (or on the internet...)

All in all, while it's below average, it's probably above-par by your standards, given the fact you just taught him how to cook a hot second ago. The presentation is simple, the food actually tastes good, so all in all it's a pretty average meal.

Darksteel

Surprise, surprise! He is the worst cook out of them all. And here you might have thought that Predaking or Airachnid would've been the worst, but nope. It's him. He'd most likely burn your kitchen down, if not trash everything you have, and waste everything you have in your fridge. The best he does is bring you a dead animal that he "cooked" by spewing fire at it. Then again it's most likely either overcooked or undercooked and would definitely give you trichinellosis, E. coli, BSE, salmonella, or whatever other horrible disease you risk contracting by eating what he's served you.

But what about vegetables? He doesn't even know what a vegetable is, and unless you give him a really thorough description of what counts as a vegetable or not, he'd most likely just uproot a tree or pluck a bush out from the ground and give it to you, mildly scorched, because he remembered that you have to cook it.

If you were to ask him about presentation, he'd probably pose the scorched cattle or chicken he got his claws on, set the crisp "vegetables" upright, and think that's good enough "presentation".

Bottom line? Do not eat anything he gives you, it'll absolutely destroy your stomach.

Skylynx

Yeah he doesn't want to. He'd hate cooking so much because everything takes so long to do! He's sensible enough to do some research and learn, or ask you questions for clarification, but waiting for water to boil just drives him crazy.

He tries to work diligently and be patient, but you might catch him cutting corners a little bit. How so? Well, he'd raise the temperature of the stove to get something to cook faster, or if he needs to carefully ground something into a poultice, he'll just smush it into paste. If you're having something simple like mashed potatoes, then he has absolutely no problem preparing that.

He doesn't pay much attention to how it looks, so while the food he serves looks unappetizing as he straight up slaps it onto your plate, it actually tastes pretty decent... Ish... Decent-ish. Sure your food may have come out a bit burnt, or you might find some weird chunks in it, but it's better than what Darksteel has to offer, that's for sure.

340 notes · View notes

quartersety-of-a-holsety · 10 months

Text

Okay, I've been keeping tabs on the shitfest with AO3 and I'm getting tired of repeating myself in reply sections

First and foremost, to the people panicking, please breathe. Panicking helps nobody

Next, please keep track of updates via their Tumblr and status Twitter. They're more reliable than some rando shouting "OMG IT'S BACK!"

To the people who apparently have no idea what to do with themselves due to AO3 being down, please either go to sleep, go outside, read a book, do literally anything to occupy yourself until this all comes to an end. This ain't site maintenance that's unexpectedly hit several hiccups, this is a malicious attack on the site's servers. This could very well take a considerably long time to resolve, ranging from several more hours to days or even weeks. Treat it like a power outage and just wait until service is restored -- ON A MORE LONGTERM STABLE BASIS!

Y'all, just cos the site comes up and stays up after a few minutes does not mean service has been fully restored. Please wait until the all clear is given before you start refreshing any pages -- the sysadmins having to directly deal with this would greatly appreciate it. Also I would personally recommend that when the site does come back up, please be easy with it and don't spam open a bunch of fics at once. The last thing the site needs is being severely strained after just coming back cos you're that desperate for your fic fix. Slow down and be easy

To the people spreading misinformation about the attackers and where the attacks are coming from, just stop. We know what the group is supposedly called and we know what their supposed reasons are. However, AO3 themselves have stated that this may not necessarily be true. For all we know, whatever group this is could be lying about their motives, hell they could be lying about being behind the attack entirely just to get their fifteen minutes of fame -- please follow the golden rule: don't feed the trolls. This also means that again, for all we know, the real culprit could be some asshat in his mama's basement with no real reason to do this beyond for shits and giggles -- remember that ancient phrase "I did it for teh lulz"?

Regardless of what this person/group is calling themselves and regardless of what they say their reasons are, please do not take anything they say at face value. Take their comments with a huge grain of salt

Furthermore, enough with the Islamophobia. Your bigotry is showing

To the shitposters making light of the situation, glad to know we can always count on y'all to add some levity to an otherwise stressful time. Just please remember to not take the jokes too far

And finally, to the people unnecessarily spouting hate for AO3 and OTW, please find something better to do with your time

#ao3 #strap yourselves in lads #we could be in for the long haul

75 notes · View notes

cyberphuck · 1 year

Text

Assassin’s Apprentice Abridged: Part One

EDIT: Tumblr randomly swallowed like 500 words in the middle of this, so I've added that back in.

I am finally embarking on my long-threatened project to summarize all of the Farseer Trilogy for my friend Razz so they can understand my shitposts about it but don’t actually have to read it. I started with this post about the cast of characters in the first book.

This is being broken up into sections because the trilogy and AA in particular (as well as Royal Assassin... whew, that one’s gonna be hard) is so insanely long and complex.

And now, Ladies and Gentlequeers, AA Abridged: Part One.

We open on the narrator musing both about writing a history of the Six Duchies (but being unable to because every time he tries it turns into a salty rant about everything bad that's ever happened to him) and also about how very old and decrepit he is. He is hunched over his writing desk, his fingers gnarled and knuckly, literally crumbling away like a Thanos-snapped MCU character as he sorrowfully attempts to make some record of the long and storied life he's lived before he lapses into the sweet void of death.

Fitz is 35.

"I bet you're wondering how I got here," Fitz writes. "It all began when I was born. Neither of my parents bothered to show up."

Actually, the curtain opens on Fitz as a six year old, being hauled up to the front doors of a fort by a cranky older man. "Surely you must have memories of your childhood before six," someone in the audience asks, but Fitz replies "No, I definitely don't, I never did and I'm tired of you asking me that." It never really becomes super important what he was doing before he was six, unless you count the time where he was traveling from the King-In-Waiting's ballsack to the sweet hot vagina of Some Lady He Never Spoke To Again.

Fitz is scooped up and brought inside the fort, and presented to Prince Verity. You'd think Verity would be at least a little upset that his older brother has muddied the line of succession with his long-ago nut, but Verity acts as if Fitz's existence is the funniest thing he's ever seen. "Yep, looks just like him," Verity confirms, then instructs a soldier to bring Fitz to Burrich.

That's right, the cranky old man hammers on the front door, waits for someone to open it, says "this is Prince Chivalry's kid and I'm tired of dealing with him," and then walks off. Despite this, Fitz never develops any abandonment issues and only has healthy and honest relationships with people for the rest of his life.

"Those are all the memories I have of that fort," Fitz writes, "except for that one night that Prince Verity, Burrich, and Prince Regal stood and looked in on me in the stall and Regal complained that I was muddying the line of succession."

Burrich does not think this situation is as funny as Verity did.

But he's honest and loyal, so he sighs and says "C'mon, Lil Accident, I'll find a place for you to sleep." That place is in a horse stall with Vixen, the hound dog, and Nosy, her pup. Burrich looks down at all of them, mutters "Patience is gonna have a fucking aneurysm" and then walks off.

After a couple of weeks, Burrich puts Lil Accident on a horse behind him and they ride away from Moonseye and towards Buckkeep. During this time, offstage, Fitz's father Chivalry gets word of his appearance and does the only sensible and logical thing, which is to ollie out the window while flipping everyone off and yelling "GOOD LUCK FIGURING THIS ONE OUT, LOSERS!" He abdicates and retires to a farm with his weirdo wife, which pisses off basically everyone.

Burrich and Fitz arrive at Buckkeep, the capital of the Six Duchies, a tall castle on a hill overlooking the ocean. Burrich is the stablemaster, in charge of all the critters large and small at the keep. He'd also been Chivalry's right hand man until he'd jumped in front of a boar to keep it from killing the Prince and fucked up his leg. Burrich comes home to Buckkeep with a bad leg and a six year old bastard to find that his bestie has just fucking peaced out without saying anything to him. He's kind of having a bad day. He hands Fitz off to stableboy Cobb, who leads him and pup Nosy to the kitchens to get something to eat.

Cobb sits FItz-and-Nosy just outside the kitchens and goes inside for delicious pie. A burly man walks by Fitz, does a double-take, then points and yells, "Hey everyone! It's Chivalry's Bastard!"

Fitz shrinks down.

"I heard you don't even have a name!" Burly man hollers, then gets right up in Fitz's face. "Is that true, tiny and defenseless six year old boy that I'm accosting? You don't have a name?"

Fitz yells "NOOOOOO" and, like a tiny, dirty Jedi master, force-shoves the man onto his ass. The crowd, assuming that the dude was just a coward who couldn't handle being yelled at by a toddler, has a laugh and carries on with their tasks. Fitz gets up and he and Nosy run away and spend all day hiding in a hole.

Burrich does eventually find him, and with a hearty "what the fuck you can't just burrow underneath the shed, get out of there," returns him to the stables, where his new home is Burrich's little bachelor pad above the stalls. In the days and weeks that follow, Fitz wakes up, eats breakfast, and immediately escapes the keep to go down to the town and run around with a bunch of street kids.

Fitz doesn't say much but he's game for anything and he has a dog, so he's accepted into the gang as "Newboy." He and his new friends generally just run around making trouble, stealing food, and bothering people. One of the notables in the bunch is Molly Nosebleed, called that because she always looks like someone just got done beating the shit out of her. Wholesome!

One sunny day, Fitz, Molly and Nosy are on the rocks near the beach looking for sheel to eat. I have no idea what sheel is and neither does Google. Then Molly's dad shows up to hit her with a stick to teach her a lesson about having a drunk, violent dad.

Alarmed, Fitz force-shoves Molly's dad into the sand. Molly immediately freaks out and struggles to get dad back on his feet to stagger back to their candle-making shop (or chandlery if you're feeling fancy). Fitz is confused at the intricacies of abusive relationships, but relieved that no one yet knows that he has force-shoving powers.

Aside from his brief encounter with childhood trauma, everything is going great for Fitz. Then one day, while he and his fellow urchins (and Nosy) are running from a dude whose sausages they just stole, Fitz runs right the fuck into Burrich.

"You get your butt right back up to the castle, young man," Burrich says, dragging Fitz along by his ear. "And if I EVER find out you've been down in town hanging out with someone again, I will personally have sex with them a bunch of times," he added foreshadowingly.

"I don't have to do what you say," Fitz barks.

"Bark," says Nosy.

Burrich's eyes narrow. "How many fingers am I holding up?" he asks.

"I don't really know numbers," says Fitz.

"Bark," says Nosy.

"Nosy says that's three," Fitz translates.

"Alrighty then, no more puppy for you, the puppy is going to live on a farm upstate," Burrich says. He drags the puppy outside.

Presumably something cool happens to it.

So now instead of slumming around Buckkeep Town, Fitz spends his days following Burrich around and being taught how to manage horses and dogs but not birds because birds apparently hate bastards. Fitz is careful not to let Burrich see him being friendly with any animals.

One day, Fitz is sitting underneath a table in the Great Hall, being friendly with a bunch of puppies. It's the morning after a party and there's plenty of leftover food to be had, and he's happily stuffing pies down his shirt and sharing pieces with the pups. Then he hears footsteps and who should show up but KING SHREWD!

Shrewd is technically Fitz's grandfather but has never really spoken to him. He's walking along with Prince Regal (*crowd boos*) and the king's new fool, a weirdo albino child who's just cartwheeling along behind them.

Fitz goes "hmm, time to bounce" and crawls out from under the table. Shrewd stops to look at him. "Ah, the Little Accident," he says. "If you leave weapons laying around, someone will eventually pick them up and stab you with them."

"What?" says Regal.

"What?" says Fitz.

"I am not going to leave you laying around for someone else to kill me with," Shrewd says. "Lil Accident, take this pin. I am going to to feed you, train you, house you and clothe you. If anyone's got shit to say about it, show them this pin. It means you belong to me."

"...Okay, sure," Fitz shrugs. He puts the pin into the collar of his shirt. Shrewd nods magnanimously and walks on. Regal flips him off. The Fool cartwheels out the door as they leave.

That night, Fitz goes home to Burrich's bachelor pad, but Burrich turns him right back around. "You done gone and did it now," he says. "King Shrewd noticed you and now you're gonna have to go live inside the castle like a fancy lad. Go on."

"But despite my fear and resentment of you, I see you as a protector and father figure," Fitz says.

"Oh little boy who blew up my life, I love and resent you too," Burrich assures him. "If you get lonely, you can come back down here and I'll murder another puppy for you."

Fitz trudges up to the castle. He has a room of his own. There's a fucking weird tapestry on the wall of the ancient King Wisdom consorting with... what is that thing? Slenderman? It's creepy.

Weeks go by. Fitz is kept busy with new lessons in reading and writing and 'rithmetic, as well as swordery. Once in a very long while, he makes the trip back down to the town to visit his buddies, but those trips become fewer and farther between.

It's the middle of the night.

Fitz wakes up to a draft and a light in his face. There's an old man at the foot of his bed, holding up a lantern. "Come with me," the old man says.

"Oh," Fitz yawns, getting out of bed. "It's the call to adventure."

The old man leads Fitz to a doorway in the wall that hadn't been there before. This is where the draft was coming from-- a steep staircase leading up between walls. Old man leads Fitz up a maze of passageways and then finally to a huge hidden room with all the amenities a crazy old wall-man could want, like a fireplace and comfy chairs and a big bed and a library and a science lab.

Also, the old looks like he took a hot frying pan to the face. Like he really looks like hell.

"Wrow," Fitz says.

"Wrow indeed, boy," the old man agrees. "My name is Chade. I bet I look familiar to you. Well it's because I'm King Shrewd's brother and I blah blah blah I have a weasel named Slink. Next you're going to ask what the fuck happened to my face. I can tell everything you're thinking, because I'm a master spy and assassin and-- now this part you should take to heart-- I am always right about everything. Never doubt me."

"Okay," Fitz says.

"Good. That out of the way, let's train you to kill people."

#rote #robin hobb #farseer trilogy #fitzchivalry farseer #aa abridged #farseer trilogy abridged

108 notes · View notes

shhoup · 9 months

Text

Alright so I've been introduced to and have recently finished watching the Monument Mythos youtube series which is absolutely great and I recommend it to anyone who may be a fan of weird multiverse shit, body horror probably and horror that just barely also counts as shitposting, (however if I remember correctly the series makes use of flashing lights and shakey screens with no trigger warning so watch at your own risk) but I have a lore question (+ theory?) for those who have seen the season 3 finale so spoilers below cut

So at the end we see the Mr Manticore constellation and it's made of the 'good people' of the series ; the face bit has a star for every man that formed the Angel, there are three that represent Thomas, Nina and Freedom, and the last star is for Everett Arnoldson.

Is this because there's an extra star commemorating the Angel itself post death ray? Kinda how Freedom gets her own star, tho this could be because the statues all seem to have their own mind and therefore her sentience isn't a result of Thomas and Nina being put inside of her a la fnaf and other indie horrors.

(Sidenote writing this at night and having to see that constellation over the black screen with no other music or anything only showed me how scary that face bit is like my god I really hate looking at it like tbis for some reason)

However I got curious and counted the stars that represent the men. The Angel is formed of 17 unknown soldiers, but I counted 18 stars.

Anyway I just wanted to throw this out and include myself in the community a little bit. Still haven't watched the Ningen videos yet so maybe they'll have an answer. Can't wait for season 4!

Does the Angel really count as a seperate entity from the men like Freedom is from Thomas and Nina? Because it doesn't seem to be the case since when they talk to Cthnaut A, their voice is an amalgamation of voices.

Or maybe the 18th star represents Cthnaut A himself, leaving a small reminder of himself before he leaves this unisverse?

Or maybe it's just a small mistake that I'm looking into way too hard because I want to be involved in finding some bit of lore in one of the many lore based series' that I love and cherish.

#not art #monument mythos #theory #wendigoon #adding that tag to honour my introduction to this brilliant series which was his first MM video #anyway i hope someone joins me in theorising about this #especially since season 4 is on the horizon #and i hope i can convince someone else to try this series out for themselves #this series has actually creeped me out in the way the mimic from vita carnis and slenderman have so yay #canyon crowns scare the shit out of me #:]

16 notes · View notes

lokilysolbitch · 1 year

Text

My new fixation is bad poetry

and its making me think about how to define art and poetry and what makes poetry good etc but I can't go back and find my sophomore english teacher and rant about it so I'm making it yalls problem. but mr c if ur in here pls read also what do you mean thats one way to skin a hamster. thats not how it goes what are you talking abou

first of all, ive finally figured out my current definition of art: records of the human experience or just experience in general. so yes paintings and poetry but ALSO tiktoks or a decorated room. idc if you think its stupid there are remnants and references to human experiences ALL OVER those. so basically if it left a mark at any point, its art. maybe not always "good" or skilled, deep, etc but it is art (to me)

secondly, what is poetry? the same sophomore english teacher asked this at the beginning of a unit and the class was struggling. every time we listed a requirement for poetry he went "is that necessary though?". "it has to rhyme" "does it?" "it has to be deep" "does it" "it needs to have words!" ".....does it?" man idk i was 15 and sleep deprived

but now im less sleep deprived and i have an answer. I would consider poetry a spectrum (but not necessarily flexible. i wouldn't say you have to bend it's meaning to make something fit) but also playing with language, to be playful with it and have fun with it, to use it as a toy in a way. using language in a way different from its intended use. so writing a personal narrative about a deep topic? not poetry. maybe you had fun with it but thats still its main use. to make words rhyme, to alliterate, to use words just plain wrong? probably poetry. its still a spectrum. and im aware this means that saying something like "yew nork/glass fork" would count as a shitpost and poetry while "Ill love you and ill never stop loving you" doesnt and um i dont care i said what i said--

this would also mean most books and speeches would have little bits of poetry in there and i stand by that too. maybe the entire thing isnt poetry but bits of it could count. i came to this conclusion on the meaning of poetry because i saw too many "aesthetic" free verse poems that were just. tweets. you coulda just made it a sentence and posted it for free. there was no attempt to play with language. you just used it the way you were supposed to. its just a quote.

im definitely going to add more onto this about what i think poetry critics miss sometimes and why formal teaching of poetry is flawed but not all in one post bc its a lot. However i have one last concept to attempt to define. this one has always made me the angriest

GOOD VS BAD POETRY/ART

where do i even start. maybe we should just get rid of these terms completely and make people say what they mean. is it good or did he just use literary devices correctly. is it good or is it genuine. is it good or is it deep. is it good or is it entertaining. is it good or do you like it. is it good or is it popular. is it good or is it complex. is it good or is it creative.

ive been saying since i was i was maybe 12-13 that even though good does not have a solid stable meaning, there is still a sense of what good is. We know what its supposed to be. classical music, Edgar Allen Poe, Da Vinci are good. sure most people barely know or understand or care about these things other than one piece of work they can recall because they had to look at it in highschool that time and the teacher seemed to appreciate it. and we know that reality tv, messily hand drawn animals, and half assed near unintelligible tiktok skits are bad.

but....wait we like those though

ive come to the conclusion that while still shifting, "good"'s meaning in scholarly settings tends to come down to whatever those somethingth century european dudes and what the modern smart looking guys deemed intelligent. and in colloquial settings, what everyone likes.

many pretentious types will say rap is bad and the subject matter is crude and the same way im sure some old european guy would have said or has said traditional african music is too weird and primitive to be respectable.

now. i dont really listen to rap intentionally. if its in there its in there. I used to be pretentious and after changing i just never got too deep into it BUT. i listened to a Nicki Minaj song one time just to see and yeah it was not family friendly but dear god was it clever. the way she'd drop the most genius alliteration-personification-allegory-englishvocabword and then just keep it moving like im not gonna have to stop and ponder the seven layer reference to bedtime hanky panky. its smart. its creative. its complex. and so many rappers can write about the same topics over and over and still come back with a new way of phrasing it. its genuinely impressive

but so many still wouldn't consider it good.

the term good when it comes to art, while having somewhat of a meaning is still useless. make your own personal standards for what is important for you to see in art. its kind of silly for us to collectively decide "okay this art? we like it. this is good" and then go to a different community (age group, culture, race) and go "were going to show you the new gold standard for good! its what we liked! you dont do it like this?? then yours is bad!". historically thats never been a good move

what i find important with poetry (and by poetry i mostly mean song writing bc i dont even read poetry like that) tends to be "is it a poem? or a sentence/paragraph". everything other than that just has to do with my taste and what I prefer in the moment. and it goes the same for everyone else. there's no universal good or bad with art. its just what a dominant or culturally respected group of people said was important.

limericks are bad tho jesus told me/j

TL;DR: i think anything that records an experience is art. i think toying with language mostly makes it poetry, and i think its weird people create little boxes for good and bad and make everyone else adhere to it

#poetry #poetrycritic #creative writing #formalapollooffering #instagrampoetry #instapoetry #art #philosophy #songwriting #bad poetry #rap #writing analysis #literature #ididntproofreadthis #infodump #hyperfixation #adhd #literary device #handmadeorganicpost

12 notes · View notes

nebulaleaf · 6 months

Note

Y, L, E, A, F GO. DO IT.

THAT'S ALMOST HALF MY NAME! (moss)yleaf... Y - What are your secondhand fandoms? Uhhh. Do Darksouls and Bloodborne count? Or league of legends? no? okay uhhh. ummm.. hatoful boyfriend? does that even have a fandom?! wait I think final fantasy 7 counts. i've played bits n pieces but im not huuuuuuuge into it (bcos im not done playing) so im more into it for friends sakes. L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. I hate kasumi yoshizawa with my whole chest but i love her character design so much, (NOT THIEF FORM.) and i think a lot of the symbolism around her false awakening and other aspects of life/gameplay are very intriguing and delicious! mmm foreshadowing, yummy! conceptually its very cool that her pt fit mimics joker because she's always basing her self image on someone else, like a mirror. but. well. [folds hands politely] conceptually. E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what? Morally I can't answer that for old fandoms. It's all been deleted now anyway. I can finally rest in peace. For p5 i've made one crack fic but it's not like... Big or anything. i've made a few shitposts that have popped off ig? cunty little akira fig, oug oug? is that anything? A - Ships that you currently like a lot. Ahhhh the classic. I will always love pegoryu and shuharu. and, well, pegoryuharu. them in a post-game domestic setting is really big in the neb economy rn. listen i know im just smushing my faves together but SH. i can see ryuharu working in a romantic setting but ngl? fine ill admit it. i like it when it's just them both dating akira. they can share and hang out but not kiss about it. s'called being really goog friends lea me alone. F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

[withers to dust] t-ten years i guess. sighs

#ask meme #long post

2 notes · View notes

jesscookie · 2 years

Text

cohost follow me on cohost for premium "chosting"

i am now activated on alleged "fourth website" cohost and currently trickling in a backlog of old art there. it's also the first time I'm committing to separating my art from my shitposts on "social media". so take a look 👀

now i don't know if the word of cohost has reached much of tumblr at all, but it's quite a unique small little thing. not only does it have tumblr elements, no algos/ads/tracking, and is nsfw-friendly, but it doesn't even have infinite scrolling, engagement numbers or a follower count. the intention is to be as anti-doomscrolling and anti-brainpoison as possible. this might sound stupid but it feels like what animal crossing is to like, addictive daily gacha games lol. plus the staff seem to have.. actual conviction?? so that's nice

it's pretty sleepy, still under development, and you have to wait for your account to be activated/get an invite (an unactivated account can still share and follow ppl tho) but honestly, at least for now, it's the most chill and good I've felt on social media in YEARS

plus people are doing some ridiculous shit with in-line css on their posts (folks posting motherfuckin warioware minigames on there) so it's worth checking out just for that imo

#also eggbug is there #cohost #dumb texts #sorry to sound like a shill it's just nice to see that social media this comfy could still be possible #tbc this isn't me leaving tumblr or twitter for it im just having a good time #op

5 notes · View notes

vardaaa · 1 year

Text

I posted 17,117 times in 2022

That's 12,910 more posts than 2021!

29 posts created (0%)

17,088 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ltkitkat

@goweninsane

@strawberry-crocodile

@dragonsorcery

@shitposting-hobbits-to-gallifrey

I tagged 3,352 of my posts in 2022

#silm - 616 posts

#lotr - 433 posts

#dracula daily - 327 posts

#star wars - 248 posts

#rop - 185 posts

#maedhros - 114 posts

#maglor - 97 posts

#goncharov - 95 posts

#space - 77 posts

#the witcher - 75 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#the flower of the white tree makes me guess it’s tar miriel but i’m probably wrong and it’s like isildur’s sister from the leaks or smth

My Top Posts in 2022:

Concerning Amazon, Finrod, some old leaks, and Dread.

I’m beginning to put together a few pieces and I don’t like the way it’s looking. So I vaguely recall some leaks a while ago about one of the show’s antagonists being a leader of Sauron’s forces who was a corrupted brother of Galadriel. The Vanity Fair article says, “As the series begins, Galadriel is hunting down the last remnants of [Morgoth and Sauron’s] collaborators, who claimed the life of her brother.” Given that it refers to brother (singular), I’m assuming they’re getting rid of the other 2/3 (depending on if you count Orodreth) for family-tree-simplicity since Finrod/Angrod/Aegnor/Orodreth all died at the hands of Morgoth/Sauron’s forces.

However. One of the shots of the trailer is allegedly of a flashback to the First Age featuring Finrod and some soldiers in a clash with some orcs. If the leaks are correct, which I’m praying they aren’t, then Amazon might have decided it would be cooler to make Finrod NOT die saving Beren but instead tortured/brainwashed/corrupted/otherwise manipulated into the commander of Sauron’s forces post-War of Wrath. This idea is stupid for a number of reasons, not the least of which that Finrod is canonically reembodied in Valinor before War of Wrath even starts, much less serving Sauron in any capacity.

16 notes - Posted February 13, 2022

Current mood while waiting for tomorrow’s trailer

38 notes - Posted February 12, 2022

Well if nothing else, Numenor looks beautiful in the trailer

The statue is giving me both Colossus of Rhodes and Argonath vibes which is great! The way the buildings are built into the hills makes me think of the Mediterranean, which tracks since Gondor has Greco-Roman inspired architecture. Meneltarma looks amazing. Trailer shot #1 is good. The same cannot be said for the rest.

77 notes - Posted February 13, 2022

HOW DOES THIS

TURN INTO THIS

They did him so dirty 😭😭

80 notes - Posted June 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

With the title announcement for the Rings of Power/Amazon lotr show: no gatekeeping. We are not going to gatekeep the Silmarillion and other extended Tolkien lore from the show fans. No matter what Amazon does to the original material, absolutely no gatekeeping about show fans not being “real fans” or anything like that. My hopes have been raised slightly by Wheel of Time not getting completely butchered but they’re called adaptations not book-to-screen-reproductions for a reason.

301 notes - Posted January 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

1 note · View note

cadmusfly · 2 years

Note

Palm tree, chamomile for ask game?

﹟random get-to-know-me ask game !!

chamomile ⇢ what kind of things do you like receiving as gifts?

The most self indulgent stuff I like receiving as gifts is stuff based on my writing or work, because I'm self absorbed! My boyfriend got me a commission of my FFXIV RP character last year and I love him (well-). But also I like getting weird quirky stuff in general, gag gifts like the physical embodiment of a shitpost. I got a IRL friend a Rick and Morty water bottle that he still uses.

palm tree ⇢ do you have a fictional villain you shouldn’t like but love regardless?

frank mildmay I tend to go for insufferable asshole protagonists or villain protagonists than actual villains, and can't really think of an actual villain who I would genuinely call a Problematic Fav - I mean I count mass murdering revenant generals (Jedao from Ninefox Gambit) and warship AIs (Falling Outside The Normal Moral Constraints from The Culture novels) among my favs, but they're not antagonists as situated in their stories

Is Sherlock from Moriarty the Patriot an antagonist? Does he count? Also I should finish watching that

also am I conflating antagonists and villains?

I'm sure I have problematic villain favs, but not many are coming to mind

Oh wait, historical naval captains of the British Empire in general, duh

#cadmus rambles #cad answers an ask #cad answers an ask game

3 notes · View notes

iloveyouemanuelmarco · 6 days

Text

Edit/Update: Hi guys, sorry for spamming you with a giant wall of texts and such that could pass for more consistent keysmashing sessions atleast, I was sorta breaking out of reality and my brain was malfunctioning, causing all my thoughts to come vomiting out of my mind and repeating at once. Super not-poggers/pogchamp of me, innit?/Ironic. Anyways you can still read it if you want but just know that I'm better now x).

[Please remember my post is currently still updating so if certain bunches of information on here is changed or added then understand why atleast, thank you!;))

My introductory pinned master-textpost for my new Tumblr Dot Com (main/non-laternative)blog page(I am probably gonna update it once I am able to get my lazy, couch potato butt off my bed and learn blow to make/post a carrd or rentry but I don't know yet so please be patient with me as it's all under construction atleast to my knowledge since my brain can be super blurry when it comes to memory♡. Anyways, My page is now gonna start loading so please wait!!:[■■■■■■■■■■•100%].(Apps I Use: Gacha Life(2)/Gacha Club By Lunime Games, Alight Motion, IbisPaintX, Medibang, Capcut, Kinemaster, FilmoraGo, PowerDirector, Canva, Picsart, ClipStudioPaint and more probably but it depends).

☆Tag Guidelist!!☆:#Mani/Marco Speaks: Rants, vents and over all just stuttering on and over my autistic rambles except I am having a complex time attempting to explain my more complicated thoughts on the internet instead of irl TwT. #Mani/Marco Draws/Animates/Writes: You can probably guess what those tags are for atleast xP. #Mani/Marco Does (Sh)Art(Crack stuff and shitposts). How many fandoms am I in?: Idk too many to count for a huge interweb community hoarder like me Q^Q!!<3

☆Other Tags(Updating)!!☆:#ROTD:IMF/Road Of The Dead: One More Future: Tag for my Road Of The Dead/Saga Of The Dead OC x Canon Angst Alternate Universe Webcomic. FNAR: TOTNG/Five Night's At Rose's: Tales Of The Nightguards is for my other alternate universe fanfiction/webcomic except it's for Fnaf instead of my obscure hyperfix and Spider Scene: My Spidersona OC tag lol(=^=)♡.

(Please Read my pinned textpost as such content contains necessary media and information involving my introduction aka my about me section I guess along with my before you follow, do not interact criteria and boundaries as they are currently so thank you for reading such and have a wonderous day or night wherever you are on the beautiful home planet known as Earth moving forward♡. I appreciate the care and support for me and my variety of content I attempt to put out for you all:)!!♡ Please follow me on my other active social media platforms if you want to keep up with my gay buff anime boy and cute yuri manga stuff xD!!): Ok, so I am sorta bored at the moment right now and I wanted to make an updated pinned but more specifically a masterpost explaining my future projects and stuff involving my art skills and other talents being used to make such so here I am with such a untidy and barely passing for somewhat clean mess of an information-dumping session QwQ. Oki doki, here I go, here's my chance at one and becoming soon to be huge in numbers on the interwebs!!0^0.

Content Warning: The written, animated and/or drawn material you're about to start reading/looking at does have the possibility of containing future(non-sexualized, feltishized, objectified or romaticized)dark themes that may upset the average guest of my main/non-alternative Tumblr Dot Com Blog page such as fictional depictions of gore/blood/guts, violence/murder/abuse, different forms of physical self-destructive habits and other nsfl fictional stuff that may be traumatic or at the very least inappropriate for younger auidences, suggestive or lewd but non-pornographic/nsfw-ish but not literally pornogrpahic content and more. At the very least, proceed with caution and for your own safety please leave if you're uncomfortable on/sensitive to certain videos of mine and for those who choose to stay regardless, please again be careful and don't be afraid to take a step away for your own care and concern when it comes to yourself . Thanks for your cooperation☆. I know my page's cutesy/kawaii-aesthetic copying nature can be quite deceiving in it's depiction of such a user like me. I am not trying 5o be rude or anything, but I just want to keep you safe atleast is all...viewer discretion is advised!! And if that's not bad enough, here's another cause for a much more huge concern...old and cringeworthy meme death content ahead along with a very constant petty and sassy mood I do not have the courage to express irl obviously >.<!!♡But what can I say, sometimes I miss being an online internet mean-girl but whatever I guess sorry for ranting in my attempt to expand my internet horizons for new chances of opportunities for popularity and going viral somehow- heck ughh-!!Now Playing: World Is Mine By Supercell Feat. Hatsune Miku!!

☆[1:52 ─〇───── 4:14]☆

(One more note, due to my identity not only being a mess if gender and sexuality but also of my brain malfunctioning and causing my autistic ADHDer person to go insane with paranoia, I am starting to use both singular(I/Me/Mine)and plural(Us/We/Ours)pronouns when referring to myself as an attempt at a non-harmful coping mechanism for future reference atleast so please be calm and collected with me as I take the time and effort to construct our sentences together in a way that is easy to explain and somewhat makes sense haha. I don't want anyone to become upset and confused by anything I say or do so is that alright? Good, kay and thx on that, bai).

Hai babes, it’s you know who and I am back again for a round two, F.B.I open up!☆(o0ω0o) But anyways srsly, we’ve become more polite and caring since we’ve carried on away from the last of the past so for the new ones that I haven’t seen yet since I’ve used the site then, henlo and konichiwa everybunny!!^-^Welcome and thank you for stopping by to my official one and only brand Tumblr Dot Com blogging page, kind wandering strangers of the internet(and hopefully future adoring fans)!!Meowdy, my name is Emanuel Or Marco and since I'm back for more, I guess it's time for my masochistic self to get a round too in internet tormentation(Is that a real word??Idk but it's gonna be apart of my vocabulary now I mean uhh 0.o. Please trust me I am 100 percent a super smarty pants!!You just haven't found out about my true power yet!!>:[). Hmph, my name is Emanuel or Marco and thank you for stopping by to visit my official Tumblr Blog or something like that since I'm gonna be your host for today hehe~ Lmfao currently I am a 16 year old[mostly-digital]artist and animator who is multifandom but mostly draws fictional gay thick or big-booty buff men in a 2000s anime/manga inspired artstyle which sometimes leans on the "kawaii" or moe side and other times is somewhat based off of edgy amature art stuff from the older side of the internet[Think of the super cringeworthy stuff you'd find on NewGrounds, YouTube or DeviantArt back somewhere around 2007]. When I draw different stuff related to my interests, it may get on the side of edgelord content such as gore/blood/guts/violence/weapons[Fictional NSFL btw], creepy/horror related content, suggestive or NSFW[Not really]self-indulgent stuff, maybe venting if I feel ready to be open like that sometimes I guess it depends and OTPs along with OCxCanon content and crackshipping. If you're uncomfortable with any of that then please for your own saftey leave my page and take care of yourself thank you♡. I don't know what other stuff to put here other than I've recently started working on my idea for a Five Night's At Freddy's self-insert alternate universe fanmade-webcomic and a Saga Of The Dead/Road Of The Dead fanmade comic game continuation due to it being an on and off hyperfixation and special interest of mine roflmao. Anygays, the reason I came or am coming back to here is because of the simple fact that the internet is just being more dumb than it was before so ever since then, we’ve decided to make the choice of expanding our horizons when it comes to making content hehe lol(Sorta masochistic of me? Yes-, but do I care?…No). So…yep, Hope you don’t mind us as you hop in, have fun joining the ride and stay tuned for more♡(o^-^o)) For some random facts about us, some of our professions include watching anime, reading mangas, playing videogames(otaku and gamergirl-boyish), drawing our ocs, writing stories, songs or poems, listening to pop-punk nightcore, being scenemo(Scene kid+Emo), baking, looking at funny memes(or at the very least whats funny based off of my broken sense of humor-;m;), making videos, streaming and roleplay though I don’t have any hyperfixations at the moment haha. If you need us to tag any of the fandoms we’re in, please DM us cause I love our moots >:3c Yippee!!

To get more into about who I am as a person without accidentally violating my own privacy and saftey, I am a somewhat gender-nonconforming or genderfluid/bigender??(Idfk, man)bisexual aceflux FtM/transgender man who uses both he/she pronouns but please don't use they on me thx. While I am apart of the LGBTQIA+ communtiy on the interwebs I am also a professionally dxed autistic and ADHDer who may get distracted irl and go afk somewhat so if I suddenly disappear for a couple days or something on other social media platforms I hopefully haven't been murdered/j(Please use tone tags with me if asked since I do have a hard time reading social norms irl okay thank you). I want to try a polyamrous or queerplatonic relationship with other people in the future but not now obviously since I still need to work on being better when it comes to the mental health department lol xD(I am stone faced as I am typing lol). I am a white-latine person who is making an attempt to learn more about his culture and to understand more of the language but sometimes I may struggle due to cognitive difficulties so please keep that in mind and be patient with me...My DMs are open 24/7 in looking for new mutuals on here but I may be somewhat vulgar or off putting under my overly-cautious mom-friend nature once you get to know me. That being said don't be afraid to tell me if I am making you uncomfortable in any sort of way due to that or if I'm accidentally supporting someone or something problematic in nature ok? Good. To keep in mind of what I am gonna post on here, it's probably very stereotypically fanboyish or some sort of dumbassery depending on the context but then again it's my page so Idfc :]. Main fandoms are mostly hyperfixations or special interests of some sort such as Undertale/Deltarue including AUs, Five Night's At Freddy's(Both the canon and sometimes the OG 2014 Rebornica nightguards au) and the Saga Of The Dead or specifically for me the Road Of The Dead 2010 Newgrounds flash games by EvilDogGames and SickDeathFiend(one of my more obscure??obsessions). Other things related to cartoons and videogames I really find comfort in are My Little Pony:Friendship Is Magic, Minecraft? Roblox, YouTubers, Vocaloid/Utaloid related content, Spider-Man: Across The Spiderverse, EddsWorld, Invader Zim, Pokémon, Postal, Hatred, Team Fortress 2 and admittedly some Friday Night Funkin'(I know it's dumb sorry about that). There's definitely more but I can't really list them all rn so yeah that's about it for this section.

When it comes to music, my taste is pretty diverse though I do have some obviously favourite genres but I am always looking to expand my horizons and more. Bands such as Green Day, Three Days Grace, SlipKnot, Korn, My Chemical Romance, System Of A Down, Linkin Park, Falling In Reverse(I am a Ronnie Radke hater though, so far he seems like another douchebag asshole), Asking Alexandria, Sleeping With Sirens, Sum-41, Pierce The Veil,, Black Veil Brides, Falling In Reverse, Set It Off, Get Scared and Bring Me The Horizon just to name a few. Though if you want my preferred genres when picking stuff I guess that would include stuff like Nightcore(not technically a genre but shut up please/lh), Rock, Pop-Punk, Trace, Emo, Techno, Happy Hardcore, Classical, maybe Lofi and I wanna get more into Rap or Hip Hop but specifically Drill. 80s and 90s stuff is cool too, it really just depends on what I find on the internet :D. General hobbies include reading, writing which includes imaginative stories and poetry, drawing(duh), singing, dancing, helping to bake with others, cosplay or just dressing up in cute outfits at tbh, watching anime, reading manga, playing videogames, collecting figurines sometimes, roleplaying, cleaning/organization, studying earth and animal science related topics, watching cute animal videos on the interwebs, memes that suit my broken sense of humor, spending time with relatives and caring for irls who I hang out with, listening to music(who doesn't??), visual novels, robotics in fiction and irl, subcultures that were prevalent in the 2000s such as the type of fashion style you'd find on Myspace scene or emo kids, anything kawaii/cute or edgy and dark, taking naps, snuggling with my stuffed animals, learning instruments and just enjoying nature scenery on days when I am more avaliable irl. I also want to travel the world or something similar when I finally can and to learn how to code so I can program my own videogame ideas but baby steps T-T. Modern day insane derpyness and all that. Here’s a couple examples of my drawings incase you were curious ^-^:

Before you follow: I sometimes use typing quirks such as stuttering(I have a stuttering irl), I sometimes use typing quirks such as stuttering(I have a stuttering irl), saying cat phrases such as meow, nya or mew, overuse text-faces and in rare cases, using all caps when shocked or excited/happy atleast, I dunno why we do such dumbass things, but I can and I wanna I guess xP. Please use tone tags when speaking to us though, since we’re neurodivergent(AuDHD)and have a hard time picking up social cues somewhat TwT. Please be gentle with us though, we’re very fragile and sensitive. We’re not schizophrenic, psychotic or anything that could cause dangerous thoughts, but we have professionally-dxed anxiety and depression which causes us to be paranoid combined with medication on some days ;-; I sometimes may go on ahem…erm “unhinged” rants for a lack of a better word about stuff that bothers us so if we’re appearing scared and not making any sense, please snap us into and bring us back to Earth- I don’t want to accidentally hurt someone in the process of destruction and pain ;w;. Sometimes we are selective about who I interact with on my page so I may avoid you if your account looks suspicious. Please don’t automatically assume I hate you if we do that however, it’s just us wanting to be cautious and to be at our own comfort. If you’re ever sad and want to rant about your daily struggles in life, or just want to chat and make a new moot then my DMs are open 24/7 whenever we’re not busy(not gonna force you obviously if you’re uncomfy roflmao-_-). It’s not our first time online, I have an account for irls so if you somehow find me here and know who I am, no you don’t:). And another thing for our followers, if you want, you can refer to us as nekos or cats/kittens instead of those who are 100 percent human since sometimes we don’t understand the attachment to just humanity. As strange as I may seem, please don’t shame/make fun of us, even if it’s cringe, you’re no better being a bully here on our space(not to mention we have habits and a life that’s not online. Shocker, I know/sarcasm).

Do not follow or interact with me in a free-form and casual manner if you racists/xenophobic(Use AAVE when not black, islamaphobic, antisemetic and etc.) LGBTQIA+Phobic in any capactity(including transmeds/truscum, radfems, TERFS/SWERFS, radinclusives, radexclusives, those who identify with offensive labels that mock the LGBTQIA+ Community by default[Ex: Bi/Pan “Lesbians”], believe in only two genders[There’s a difference between sex and gender], believe pronouns are equivalent to gender or use pride flags who’s creators have been outed as being prejudiced or bigoted in any way[It makes marginalized people uncomfortable, stop it. Looking at you “I don’t care about queer discourse” idiots. You look dumb/srs:0]), are pro-para(Go to jail :)), are in pro-£D or pro-$H spaces, misogynistic/sexist(Unless you’re male because misandry doesn’t C:), ableist in any form(including against self-dx and if uses fonts in bio or dn),use slurs or words in specific contexts you cannot reclaim, just being discriminatiory when it’s not needed at all. MAP, Zoo or Necro(Doesn’t matter if anti-contact or not), identify with the public label of AAM, are fatphobic, believe fiction doesn’t affect reality (Examples such as proshippers, profiction, com(p)shippers, and anti-antis are some of the group names), fetishize mlm/nblm/wlw/nblw romance (fujoshi, fundashi, fujin, himejoshi, himedashi just to name a few), romanticizes abuse or mental illness in fictional stories, anti-furry/anti-otherkin/anti-fictionkin/anti-alterhuman or anti-nonhuman, anti-objectum(I don't understand or identify with these things but as long as they're not hurting anyone I support and don't find any problems with it), anti-xenogenders/anti-neopronouns, transID/RadInclus/Radqueer(You make the trans community look like morons), are a lolishotacon/kodocon(someone who is attracted to fictional minors or characters with child-like aesthetics),make inappropriate headcanons, justify fictional problematic ships, ship irl people, make jokes about serious matters such as r^pe or abvse, are uncritical about your fandoms, support the DSMP fan, DreamWasTaken stan or support mostly any of the members, supports of defends problematic public figures online(Ex: Jschlatt, Pewdiepie, CallMeCarson and etc), Trump Supporters/Alt-Right/Heavily Conservative, Prolife, excessively sexualize, romanticize or objective fictional mvrderers(We’re ok with you being a fangirl/fanboy/fan and simping moderately as long as you don’t hurt those around you with your crush by condoning the crimes and other harmful actions they’ve committed. After all, we are somewhat of a monster hugger ourselves tbh~), are an nsfw centered page, sexualize age regression or agere/practice ddlg, practice pet-play or age-play(or any other problematic kink for that matter-),make fun of someone’s triggers, missuse tonetags, does whitewashing in art or thinks “blackwashing” is real(making a character black will never be the same as taking away representation), support NFTs, AI Generated "Art" or CryptoCurrency, on EDtwt/SHtwt/TCCtwt, consider wh¡te people to be able to be systematically oppressed like other races, make RPF(Real person fanfiction), partake in cringe culture during the modern day(grow up, it’s not the anti-sjw internet phase anymore, moron) or are just a degenerate at all. Genuine mental illness fakers please fucking dni you suck and I pray no one with actual tourettes, DID/OSDD or autism cross paths with you for their sake. Lmfao stfu and gtfo). It should be obvious but anyone who's LGBTQIA-phobic, racist, xenophobic, ableist, misogynistic, islamaphobic, antisemetic, ableist, fatphobic or supports hateful and degenerate shit or problematic creators get out now before I block you<3.

Please dni if you’re apart of these fandoms unironically too: YarichinBitchClub, Kiss Him Not Me, Attack On Titan, Ms. Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid(Gonna steal the characters from the show, they don’t deserve to suffer 3:), Nekopara(Stealing those designs too, if you’re so upset about it just come at me bro- anddd…I’m blocked), Boyfriends(F♡ck you and eff off, Refrainbow<3), South Park(Unless I follow you first but you're on thin ice), Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss, BlueyCapsules, Your Boyfriend and Kakegurui. One more thing, dni if you fetishize the yandere/lovesick archetype or demonize those with BPD. People with the disorder and/or those who identify with Yanderes are real people who don’t deserve to be ridiculed or made into a kink fantasy. Btw for those wondering why I may follow controversial public beings on my other social medias, I just want to remind you that follows don’t equate to endorsements and that just because I’m keeping tabs on someone because I’m a nosey cyberstalker/j doesn’t mean we agree with their likes, reposts, following and etc so please consider that before making assumptions about us! P.L.U.R 4 Lyfe x3. If I end up accidentally supporting someone who may be controversial please let me know, I promise you that I’d never want to hurt anyone with who I may interact with on any active social media platform we use. Welp, I guess that’s all for now, my little space children, please be sure to hop on, have fun on the ride and stay tuned as I have a short introduction video for YouTube and a showcase in the works ^w^ We’re working very hard planning behind it all when we’re not doing homework and destroying our mind with it(Curse you, the United States Of America Education System!/lh)and remember, rawr stands for “I love you” in dinosaur xD. Rawring 20s here we come >:D)). Follow and support us and our work on the pages I run in my spare time our beautiful, amazing and divine kohais!QwQ Love you and give us gentle and sweet constructive criticism pls again >3< Arigato(Thank you) and sayonara, my waffles, pancakes, sweet bbys and more!Btw sometimes I am pretty much not here anymore on Tumblr so if I don’t post for a few months and then start posting again soon you then know why, just fyi TmT. Random thing that's not as important but Jeremy/Scout, John Creaseman, Postal Dude, William Afton/Dave Miller/Springtrap, Micheal Afton, Henry Emily, Vincent Bishop and me are in a complex polyam relationship so haters dni uwu(Please help me I wanted to die writing that emoticon *barf*). But seriously I know it's weird but they all are sort of comfort characters to me in some way shape or form so it's ok if you don't like some of them but please don't complain if you dislike them. I'll respect your opinion and you'll respect mine like civilized "adults"☆.

Oh almost forgot to put something here..here’s a list of our boundaries just incase anyone is wondering atleast!(♡=Yes/☆=Okay/✘=No)

♡-Venting in my DMs(Yes ofc!!)

♡-Compliments(Yesh, less unisex ones tho)

♡-Making fan-content(Obviously:D)

♡-Chatting(Sure, just read my BYF and DNI Criteria first!)

♡-Idolizing me(Put me up and boost our ego, yes/hj)

☆-Joke flirting(Mutuals only please, no offense to anyone or anything!!)

☆-Getting inspired by my content(I’m flattered and appreciate it, thank you for the care, but please do not out right copy or get too heavily inspired by my work! And definitely don’t steal or trace any of it).

☆-Personal questions(Again, moots only or if we’re starting to become genuine and sincere online friends though my apologies if I don’t make it through. Have our drawings as a costly pay for our future abscesses;w;)

☆-Discussing with us about our gender identity, expression and sexuality(No, I’m not gonna debate you on it. It’s my life and it’s really harmless imo).

☆-Shipping(Only if the person being shipped is okay with it and is clear it’s just a joke).

✘-Comparing me to other people(I am my person, please don’t forget that and violate that boundary since it makes us super uncomfortable).

✘-Harrassing people, attacking, doxxing, sending death threats and hurtful messages under my name(Ofc not, dummy! What are you, an idiot?!!).

✘-Making full on serious NSFW/18+ content of us(I am in a minor body, go to heck lol/srs).

✘-Sending me non-fictional violent media/fictional media involving violence to real internet content creators or other random irl ppl(Don’t be a loser and keep that stuff to yourself or expose yourself for us, give us an easily callout post to make:))

✘-Overly using curse words(I want my demographic to be a mature audience of pre-teens to teenagers and possibly even adults if my content grows that much, so I don’t want it to be too immature Q-Q).

✘-Calling me “Mommy” or “Daddy” in a sensual way if you’re a future fan of mine(No….just no. Eww).

My Social Media Platforms(Onlyfans Coming Soon? Jk we’re minors still, you creepy dumb person who I hope is not an adult! Duhh). Check out my side/alternative blogs though once I am able to get ready making them!! Yolo after all ;w;. I love you guys, mwah mwah!!Ù3Ú♡.

1 note · View note