#wait is haribo what his fans are called

[sexybabystevie]

hi, em!! congrats on 100 followers, you deserve it, lovely!

anyway,, i wanted to request for the garden event, and use the red rose prompt for steve harrington! :)

im a poet, i absolutely love writing. i'm trying to study to become a psychiatrist. im a hopeless romantic, i love reading and watching cliche romance movies, however, i'm not a big fan of huge romantic gestures, i like to keep things casual because making situations big like that stress me out😭 anyway,, i love horror games and movies, i also love listening to music (who doesn't). im extremely sarcastic. i can also be extremely emotional. i love haribo pineapple gummy bears, its a very bad obsession. i also love hanging out with friends and i also play guitar, so i love singing and playing on said guitar.

i also totally forgot half the things i wrote last time, so i just put some new stuff, you don't have to add some parts if it helps.

again, congrats on 100 follows, have a nice day/night, take care of yourself! <3

A/n: Ela!! Thank you so much for requesting (and for resending it when it somehow got deleted)! I'm super excited to write this for you, and I really hope that you like it!! <3

Steve Harrington Masterlist

Saturday Night Sleepovers

Best Friend!Steve Harrington x Reader

Tags and Warnings: No Warnings, Best Friend!Steve Harrington, Soft!Steve Harrington, Sleepovers, Movie Nights, Confessions of Feelings, Very Casual (but Intimate) Friendship and Relationship.

Word Count: 1916

On the weekends when the typical absence of Steve Harrington's parents cause his house to feel more empty than usual – more like a facade of wealth and perfection than a welcoming home – you're the first person that he invites over for a party. These parties are nothing like what he used to throw when he was more popular; instead of filling his house with as many bodies as he can, people he had never even met before lining his halls, these gatherings are far more intimate. In fact, he's not even really sure if he can legally call these meetings 'parties' when the only two people always involved are you and him. (Sometimes Robin is invited, and sometimes a few of the kids crash at Steve's place for a few hours, endlessly talking about things that happened at school or just in their lives in general. Most of the time, though, it's only you two.)

Having been his best friend for a little over a year now, it was customary for you to get a phone call on an occasional Saturday morning, smiling to yourself as Steve tries to bribe you into coming over with the promise of some of your favorite snacks – not that he even has to do that; you would say yes in a heartbeat, regardless. You always say yes, and you always feel your heart tug a little when he tells you that he'll be on his way to pick you up in five, the smile on his face audible in his excited tone.

He honks his car horn when he pulls into your driveway – he knows he doesn't have to, knows that you've been expectantly waiting for him ever since he got off the phone with you, but he likes to see you playfully rolling your eyes as you get into the passenger seat.

That's where you are now, standing outside of his maroon BMW as you open up his back seat and put your bags into it. Usually you keep them in the floorboard with you up front, but you have more with you this time – your guitar case take up far more space than you imagined – so you waste no time in piling your things up in the space behind you.

You're quick to close the door and hop back into your seat – the only person who would ever put up a fight for it was Dustin, and sometimes you let him have it if you're feeling extra generous – buckling yourself in at rapid speed. Steve seems to notice your haste and raises his brows in your direction as he starts driving.

"Someone seems excited."

"Of course! It's not every day someone offers to buy me any and all of the snacks I could even imagine eating."

Steve chuckles at your antics and smiles smugly as he says, "You know, I don't even have to ask to know exactly what you'll end up getting."

"Yeah, because you've known since the very day we met." You look at him with a soft, playful smile, only to see those same features mirrored on himself.

"You'll buy the entire pack of Haribo gummy bears and pick out all of the pineapples because you insist that they're the best."

"Because they are!"

Steve doesn't argue back; he actually does agree with you. Ever since you walked into Scoops Ahoy and asked for an ice cream cone with gummy bears on the side – 'Would it be too much to ask for only the light yellow ones?' you had said – he had known that you were someone he wanted to keep around. Plus, you'd given him a few of them before, and he did get it. They were definitely the best out of the flavors given.

Instead, he just laughs, admiring the matter-of-factly way that you cross your arms and stare at him.

"And, as always, you'll say that you'll eat the other flavors too, but then you'll "forget" and I'll have to eat the rest."

You only roll your eyes and smirk at him in response.

"As if you don't devour them all in minutes and then thank me for not eating them under your breath."

Some more friendly banter follows through, as it always does with the two of you, and before long, you're carrying grocery bags into the large front door of Steve Harrington's house. You work together to put away the things that you aren't planning on eating right away, and then you're flopping right onto his couch with your bowl full of dissected gummy bears.

Steve walks into the room after you, arms full of various movies that he lays onto the coffee table before you.

"So, I wasn't sure if you were in more of a 'scare-your-socks-off' horror mood or a 'let's-pine-for-the-relationship-these-two-have' romance mood," he says, spreading out each tape and letting you read the titles that he totally didn't break work protocol to get for you.

Two horror movies – Poltergeist and A Nightmare on Elm Street – and two romance movies – Dirty Dancing and Sixteen Candles – are what he's chosen. You know you'll have plenty of time to watch them both today and tomorrow – you always spend the Sundays after your sleepovers lounging around his place for as long as you can, relishing in every mere moment that you have with him – so you close your eyes and randomly pick one to get your marathon started.

"Sixteen Candles it is," you say, handing the movie to your best friend so that he can go place it in the player.

Steve does so quickly, pressing the tape into the machine and rushing to his place next to you on the couch, as if he's going to miss something crucial in the first fifteen seconds of the movie. You giggle to yourself, finding his urgent and serious expression oddly adorable. Your chest feels a little tighter, softly compressed as your heart seems to speed up its beating, but you try not to pay it any mind.

You and Steve were close, and sometimes you almost verged into something that was slightly outside the realm of what best friends were known for doing. However, despite your absolute adoration for the flashy romance movies you watch, you would rather not experience something like that in reality. Making things so suddenly serious was scary, and you preferred to keep things the way they were, with you and Steve being each other's go-to people.

The movie begins and Steve's arm slings over your shoulders like it always does, fingers softly rubbing little random shapes into the skin right at the edge of your t-shirt sleeve. You scoot nearer to him, head resting softly against his chest as you face the TV and keep your attention on the events happening on screen. The warmth from his body radiates into yours, like your own personal heater, and you can vaguely feel the steady beating of his heart against your cheek.

The movie progresses with you resting against Steve, your supply of pineapple gummy bears slowly diminising as you pop them into your mouth every few mintutes. Occasionally you take one and lift it blindly up to his mouth, without bothering to look away from the TV. If you ever misplace it, hand ending up nowhere near his lips, he never says anything about it.

It seems like it's all too soon before the end credits are rolling and you and Steve are lazily standing up, backs and knees popping from your prolonged positions. After stretching, you sniffle a little and he's turning towards you with lightning speed.

His eyes are filled to the brim with concern until you jokingly swat at his arm, almost giggling again.

"Come on, you know how these movies can make me kind of emotional!"

Steve laughs – surprisingly more loudly than normal – and it rings throughout your brain for as long as you can keep it there, absently thinking that you wished you could hear such a genuine and carefree noise from him forever.

Except you must not be too aware of yourself, because the way Steve's eyes widen softly tells you that you might not have said that inside your head like you thought you had.

Minutes of an awkward silence follow, and you're really wishing that you had managed to keep quiet. The longer everything is noiseless, the more you want to say something to try and make it seem like anything except for what it was.

Meanwhile, Steve has your words bouncing around inside of his mind like the VHS logo that slides across the TV screen. 'I wish I could hear you laugh like that forever...' He's frozen in place, caught completely off guard by your admission, and while he knows that it very well could mean something else, that maybe you just mean it in a really friendly way, he can't help but hope that you mean it in the way it sounds.

After several long moments, he finally looks down at you with rose-dusted cheeks, softened brown eyes, and with his lips broken out into a bashful, hopeful grin.

"You could, you know," he says softly, gaze focused directly on you. "If you wanted to, of course. If... if that's what you meant."

You feel a lump of anxiety forming in your throat, and it's as if Steve can somehow tell that you're beginning to grow nervous at the prospect of things changing so drastically and abruptly.

"Nothing has to change!" he quickly says, hands lifted palm-up between the two of you as some sort of truce. "It can, if you want it to, but even then it won't change much. I mean, we're already pretty close. We don't have to rush anything, though. I guess that's what I'm trying to say?"

Steve's onslaught of nerves has you chuckling – you can't help it; he's so genuinely concerned about you but also so genuinely dopey that it has you giggling against your will – and at the sound of your own laugh, he gives in to the temptation and joins in.

As you listen to your shared laughter, you realize that he's right – nothing is really changing that much between you two – and you take both of his still uplifted hands into your own. You intertwine your fingers together, mirrored looks of adoration on both you and Steve, and while this is a bit of a newer feeling –the heat from his palms bleeding into your own – you do enjoy it.

The rest of the night follows as it would normally; you watch another movie together – horror this time, to balance it out – and you let Steve squeeze your hand whenever a jump scare pops onto the screen. (Don't tell anyone though, because he will adamantly deny that such a thing ever happened. Steve Harrington, afraid of horror movies? No way!)

Then, you read him some of your newest poetry, to which he always is a little lost, but is nonetheless enthusiastic. Even if you have to explain the meaning behind every line, he'll sit through it just so he can be properly proud of you.

Finally, the night ends with you playing your guitar, the quietude of the Harrington household filled with you – your voice and your guitar – something that makes Steve feel like he's found his home – the real one. He drifts off to the sound of one of the songs that you know is his favorite to hear you play, and you follow suit soon after.

#the garden🌷 #steve harrington #stranger things #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x you #steve harrington headcanons #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fluff #lovely requests #ela🌷

[leejungchans]

aaaaAAAAAAA THOSE MEMES ARE SO CUTE JULIE IS SO PRECIOUS!!! 😭😭😭😭 i can imagine the look on Chan's face when he receives those memes 😔😔✋ not @ Vernon judging her hshdhshs pls she's trying her best

Also!!! May i make a contribution to jules' meme collection:

"I am no longer baby i want power" is such an accurate description of juliet tho!!! 😭😭😭 she reminds me of this

the shrek one is definitely... something else ajshjwjdjsj 😟😟😟😟😟😟 yeah vernon is definitely judging her hard for that one 💀💀 but the other ones are cute so it’s okay!!! her memes haven’t gotten too questionable to the point where mama hwa has to take her phone away 😔 the italy one hajdhwjdhjw how have i never seen it before???? i am ashamed jahdjwjdj 😭 “i’m no longer baby i want power” and the chicken one are literally her pls :(((

#jihoondumpling #asks.juliet #the im no longer baby i want power one also reminds me of jongho 😭😭😭 #is the bear not how people see him????? pls our haribo 🤧🤧🤧🤧 #wait is haribo what his fans are called? anyways he’s our strong lil gummy bear ;-; #coincidentally the chicken meme is also how svt sees her when she tries to act scary/threatening #like ‘oh nooooo we’re being threatened by a cupcake’ 💀 #not ateez though bc they’ve seen her genuinely mad 💀 (not directed towards them)

[damn-behzinga]

Falling On The Battle Field

Ethan Payne Centric

Part two of Losing The War Against Himself

summary - Ethan tries to take his own life, the sidemen try to cope.

warnings - attempted suicide, talks of mental health issues, angst, graphic description of violence

masterlist/request info

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

Ethan was sat on the sofa with his friends after the video shoot. He felt his sadness push in and he wanted to escape the situation as soon as possible. He wanted this feeling to stop, he wanted everything to stop. Ethan knew he had to take control. He knew it. And so, Ethan suddenly stood up and grabbed his coat.

"Sorry boys, I've got to go." He whispered. "You know, film a video, have a bath, and whatever."

"Ethan, you've been quiet all day," Vik said as Ethan walked towards the door. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be okay." Ethan smiled softly, checking the time on his phone - 1:54 PM - quickly before pocketing it.

"Are you sure?" Simon questioned bluntly.

Ethan froze, staring the wall. He never lied to his friends, that's just how he was. Ethan was a lot of things but not a liar.

"Yeah." Ethan gulped, surprising himself when he lied. "I'm just tired."

"Okay, we were gonna do a call later for some brainstorming," Josh informed, smiling softly. Ethan nodded and left the flat after saying his goodbyes.

He rubbed his eyes before he started driving home, stopping at Tesco. He put his hood up and made his way into the store. He grabbed a basket and walked down the aisles to collect his items. He grabbed a couple of bags of sharpeners before making his way to the sweets aisle. He grabbed some packets of Haribos before making his way to the medicine aisle to grab sleeping pills. He knew that he should only buy a pack or two. He walked to the cleaning supplies and picked up a bottle of bleach and laid it in the basket.

"Oh, um, Ethan?" A small voice asked. Ethan turned and saw a girl no older than nineteen, standing shyly. "Is it all right if I can get a picture? It's cool if not."

"Yeah, that's all right." Ethan smiled. "what's your name?" He asked.

"Oh, my name is Lily." She smiled extending her phone to take a selfie. Ethan immediately posed by throwing up a 'gang' sign which made Lily laugh and do it too. "Thank you, I hope you're having a good day."

Ethan chuckled and smiled at her, "I hope yours is going well. Have you been busy?" He asked. Lily seemed surprised by his effort to make conversation but Ethan knew that this would likely be his last fan interaction and he wanted to go off with a bang.

"Um not really. Mum wanted to go out shopping and I happened to join." She smiled softly.

"It's good that you came along." Ethan smiled. "Otherwise we would never have met."

Lily giggled and her eyes flickered down to his basket and Ethan didn't fail to notice. He moved the basket so it was hiding behind his back, hoping she didn't connect the dots. Her eyebrows furrowed and she said, "I've been watching you since 2015 and I think you have been so incredible. I used to have really bad mental health problems but I have grown to love who I am. I think watching your weight loss has heavily inspired me."

Ethan swallowed thickly. "Thank you." He felt tears pool in eyes and nodded at the girl.

"It's so nice watching you and the other guys just being you. It's so relieving, especially for us lonely lot." Lily chuckled. "I think it's so nice that you have a real relationship. I can't wait to see where you lot go."

"I appreciate that." Ethan smiled. "I'm sorry. I have to go."

"Thank you for the photo." Lily smiled. "Have a nice day."

"You too." Ethan waved and made his way to the checkout. Ethan was thankful that the self-checkout existed so he didn't have to make awkward contact with the worker.

Ethan put the bag in the car and he gripped the steering wheel and let out a sob. "Fuck!" He started slapping the wheel and let out a broken sob. "I don't want to do this." He looked over at the bag and stared. He shook his head and drove home, racing to his flat.

Ethan very hastily recorded a video and tidied his room. He didn't want anyone to struggle cleaning after he was done. He threw on some shorts and his old top before making his way to his bathroom. He got a text from Charlie which immediately reminded him to let him know that it was okay for him to stay with his family longer if needed. Ethan turned the hot water up and laid down. A small sob escaped his trembling his lips. He studied the blade before pressing it against his wrist. He swallowed thickly and dug the blade into his skin.

"This is it." He muttered. He then felt tears escaped his eyes. His wrists ached as blood oozed out of it, he watched carefully when he felt nausea rise to his throat but he swallowed it away and reached for his phone. He knew all the other boys were in a group call trying to come up with new ideas. He joined the call and soon there were cheers for his arrival. Ethan was scared, he didn't want this. He hadn't said goodbye.

"Ethan, what do you think about the Cal's in another video?" Josh asked as he joined.

"Boys, boys." Ethan cried out. "I need help, I-"

"What happened?" Simon asked and the call suddenly went silent.

"I need help. I didn't mean to cut too deep. I'm gonna die." Ethan sobbed. "I need an ambulance."

"Ethan-" Harry gasped.

"It hurts so fucking bad, there's so much blood." Ethan stuttered. "I'm gonna miss you guys a lot." Ethan cried. "I didn't mean to. I'm sorry."

"Can you tell us what happened?" JJ asked.

"I just wanted it to stop." Ethan sobbed.

"No, Ethan, no, please! It's okay!" Tobi whimpered.

Ethan tried to relax his breathing but he couldn't stop the tears from escaping as he stared at his wrist.

"Ethan, what is your new video about?" Vik asked.

"Um, I tried a workout that Freezy and Lux made for me," Ethan whispered.

"Can you tell me about it?" Vik questioned.

"They made me do a shit ton of press-ups. My arms ached so bad and I couldn't do it all." Ethan chuckled weakly, his words started slurring. "I had to do a lot of squats, almost collapsed."

"How did the Cal's react?" Vik asked.

"They laughed at me," Ethan said. "I don't know why but-"

Ethan trailed of suddenly quieting.

"Ethan, are you still there?" Vik asked.

"'M tired. Wanna go to sleep." Ethan slurred, his eyelids fluttered. "I think I'm gonna sleep."

"No, c'mon Ethan. Stay with us." Harry begged. "If you wake up, I'm gonna upload something embarrassing on your channel."

"Go ahead. I don't care. Need to upload my goodbye video anyway." Ethan said.

"Goodbye video?" Tobi asked, voice high with confusion and worry.

"Made a video so I could explain it," Ethan mumbled. "Boys why is there banging at my door?"

"Ethan, hold on," Harry whispered.

"I wanna sleep."

"Don't go to sleep!"

"I'm going to sleep." Ethan's eyes fluttered shut and he dozed off.

JJ had never been properly scared. Sure, he had been nervous but he always switched it to adrenaline and made sure he saw the positive. He always knew the logic behind things and chances. He wasn't book smart but he knew how to see things to see what matters in the matter. He wasn't scared when his grandma was told she had a deadly illness, he knew the chances were low of her survival and so when she did pass, he was just happy she wasn't in pain anymore. But, JJ was terrified. His friend, by the time that he got to the flat, could be dead.

JJ ran into the flat with Simon close behind him, trying to unlock the bathroom door.

"Move back." He ordered and Simon did as he said stepping back. JJ hurried, knowing every second could count, slammed his foot on to the door. The door only shook slightly so JJ did it again, harder, a dent appeared in the door. One final kick and JJ's foot shot through the door and he fell forward slightly. He quickly pulled his foot out and fumbled with the lock and unlocked the door.

JJ surprised himself when he realised that he sprung into action and grabbed towels and pressed it against Ethan's wrist.

"Ethan, can you hear me?" Simon asked as he shakily held on to one of the wrists. JJ nodded at Ethan's chest and let out a shaky breath.

"He's breathing," JJ said. "Can you see how long the ambulance is gonna be? I'll keep ahold of these."

Simon just nodded and grabbed his phone out of his pocket and joined the group Discord call again. "Boys, we're with him now. Do you know how long they'll be?"

"Josh said they're pulling up soon," Tobi answered. As if on cue, JJ heard the doorbell. Simon sprinted to the door and guided them to the bathroom.

JJ blocked out what happened next, allowing Ethan to get rushed to hospital with no knowledge of what was going to happen. JJ and Simon arrived after the other guys and JJ collapsed into the seat and put his head in his hands. He was trying to block out Harry and Tobi's crying, he wanted to process what had just happened a mere few minutes ago. He jumped when a hand rested on his shoulder. JJ glanced up and saw Simon holding a blanket with a smile on his face.

"The receptionist said that you might want to cover that up." Simon nodded towards the blood that had spilt on to his top. JJ took the blanket before resting back. Simon sat beside him and took a deep breath.

Simon had always felt responsible when things went wrong. So, as he sat on an uncomfortable chair in the middle of the hospital, he looked back on his day and noticed everything that had happened. He imagined a scenario where Ethan hadn't resorted to taking his life. He thought about how he should've pushed more when he noticed Ethan was acting off. But he didn't. And if Ethan died, Simon knew he would never be able to get rid off that guilt.

Simon broke out of his thoughts when he heard a sob rip from Harry. He sighed and made his way over, wrapping an arm around Harry.

"He'll be okay," Simon whispered.

Harry sniffed and nodded. There had never been a major death in his family. Sure, he had the odd grandparent or uncle he never truly knew but he never felt so much sadness due to the idea of death. He was uncertain whether his friend would come out of this alive and that ruined Harry the most. He was upset that they couldn't contact Ethan sooner, he was upset that he didn't know, and he was upset that he may walk out of the hospital with the knowledge that his friendship group would shrink by one. He was so heartbroken that his friend didn't reach out and tell them how he was feeling.

Harry glanced over to Vik, who's foot was tapping anxiously as he continued to glance around.

"Vik, keep breathing," Harry muttered softly.

Vik just closed his eyes shut and ran through every event that had lead up to where they were. He tried to piece it together as if it were some puzzle that had been scattered across the floor. Why hadn't Ethan said anything? Had Vik been that bad of a friend? Did he miss all the signs? Vik's answers came up short as he desperately tried to figure out his confusion. There were so many moments where he thought Ethan was getting better. And he wondered if he had said something that had caused the final push. What were they going to tell the fans? There was so much Ethan was excited for, what were they going to do now?

Vik closed his eyes and let out a long breath when he heard muttering from Tobi beside him. Vik knew not to interrupt as Tobi prayed so he simply whispered, "Please, God."

Tobi linked his hands together, the cross of his necklace held tight between his palms as he recited a prayer and desperately tried to connect to his God. Ethan had to survive, they had got to him on time. Tobi continued whispering prayers under his breath as he waited for what he desperately wanted to be good news. He hoped his God would save the friend who was trying to leave far too soon. He was reminded of his mum who would always tell him that if you have hope, good things would come. Tobi had to remain hopeful, his God, alongside the hard-working doctors would save Ethan, he prayed they would.

Tobi looked over to Josh who was staring blankly at the floor and Tobi placed a hand on his friend's arm. "Josh. It's okay."

Josh felt disconnected to the ground. As he looked at all of his friends, he tried to remember when they all had become so close, all huddled together. He hated hospitals, it always felt like a new universe to him. As if reality had shifted as soon as he walked through the doors. It also felt strange to know that, a few rooms away, his friend, who Josh truly believed to be one of the best people he knows, laid dancing on the line of life and death. Josh didn't know how to cope and he started to go through ideas and his schedule in his head. He tried desperately to forget the reason they were there, knowing if he overthought it, he would have a panic attack or run away. He knew he couldn't forget but he was just so afraid.

"Um, the family of Ethan Payne?" The doctor asked and the boys all stood up. "He's alive and stable. We need to get blood transfusion so he has a few IVs in him at the moment. It may be scary but he's alive. I just wanted to ask a few questions? If you're in the state to answer." The men just nodded. "So he cut his wrists in a bathtub. Has he ever had suicidal tendencies before?"

"Um, he's harmed before. And he's thought about it but never-" Vik swallowed thickly. "He's never tried."

"Okay, does he see a therapist? Or used to see a therapist?" The doctor asked after jotting notes down.

"Yes," Josh answered. "He saw a therapist once a week but I don't know if he's gone in the last few weeks."

"Will he have enough money to see a therapist?" The doctor asked and the boys nodded. "Okay, you can see him now and I'll finish the questions later."

"Thank you. For saving him." Simon said quietly. "His mum lives a few hours away, we're the only other family he has."

"I'm just doing my job." The doctor smiled as he led them outside the room. "Just a warning, he's now got two scars on his wrists. They are bandaged and will stay bandaged but if you need to understand that they'll be big and not pretty. We may have to keep Ethan in for twenty-four hours but he's alive."

The doctor opened the door and the men walked in to see Ethan in bed asleep, several wires going into his arms. Harry gasped and Tobi let out a small cry.

"He won't be awake for forty-five minutes to an hour so I would recommend you maybe grab some of his stuff he'll want and some food for you all. Here's a list of things he'll be allowed." The doctor handed them a piece of paper and smiled softly. "Try not to bring anything he can hurt himself with. Any wires and whatnot, make sure you take it home with you."

"Thank you again." Tobi smiled. The doctor just nodded and left the room. The group all looked at each other and sighed.

"So should we do three of us go get his stuff and the other three go pick some food up?" JJ suggested.

"Um yeah. I'll go to his place." Tobi took a deep breath. Josh and JJ both decided to go alongside Tobi as Harry, Simon, and Vik went to the store.

The stopped at JJ and Simon's flat so JJ could change out his bloody clothes. He threw the clothes away and walked out in a hoodie instead. The three were on edge as the walked into Ethan's flat, a new feeling bubbling in their chests.

They quickly made their way to Ethan's bedroom and picked up a few of the things they know Ethan would want. His AirPods, his Switch, his laptop, and his-

"Jide, Where's his phone?" Tobi asked. JJ sucked in a breath.

"The bathroom." JJ stuttered.

"I'll go get it." Josh smiled softly, knowing how JJ would react. JJ and Tobi nodded as the continued looking for whatever they may find that Ethan would want. Tobi was searching the desk when he noticed a USB stick lying neatly next to his computer. Tobi put the USB stick in his pocket and continued looking as Josh returned with Ethan's phone.

Simon, Vik, and Harry were picking out snacks as they all thought about what Ethan would want and would help him recover. They packed up the food before quickly making their way back to the hospital, the last thing they wanted was to hear Ethan had woke up alone.

When they all re-met in Ethan's hospital room, they had a few snacks, all sat at whatever part of the small room they could find space in. After a few minutes of silence, Tobi pulled out the USB and held it out in front of him.

"Should we watch it?" He asked his friends.

"I think we should," JJ said.

"It will give us more of an insight as to why." Josh agreed.

Tobi pulled out Ethan's laptop and praised silently that he remembered Ethan's password before plugging the USB into it. The file only took a few seconds to download and Tobi opened it.

He placed the laptop in front of the friend group who was all crowded around it on the floor.

"I'm assuming if you're watching this you're looking for a why." The on-screen Ethan swallowed thickly and took a deep breath. "I am so tired. I did not give up, I promise. I battled as hard as I could, I swear. Nothing I did was good enough. I tried to make my mum proud, and the boys proud. And they always told me they were but I never felt it. I tried so hard not to try this way of ending but I realised that this was my best option. I'm not good enough."

Tobi paused the video and closed the laptop. "I can't watch this."

"Me either." Harry sighed.

"Okay, let's just-" Josh suddenly gasped. "Shit, has anyone spoke to Ruth?"

Mumbles broke out within the group and Vik hastily pulled out his phone, stepping out the room to talk to Ruth. They all felt silence wash over them as they waited for their friend to wake.

Another few minutes past, they heard groans and confused mumbles coming from Ethan. JJ ran to get the doctor as Ethan started crying, his eyes darting around as he trembled. Tobi and Josh tried to calm Ethan down, explaining that he was okay and alive. The doctor walked in with JJ and calmed Ethan down. Ethan wrapped his hand around his wrist, gritting his teeth in pain.

"Would you like some painkillers?" The doctor asked softly. And Ethan nodded as tears escaped his eyes. Ethan took the painkillers with water and the doctor said, "Open your mouth please, I need to do a cheek check."

"Why?" Ethan asked before opening his mouth.

"We need to make sure those who try to commit suicide don't store their medication in their cheeks." The doctor said before giving him the all-clear.

"Can I ask you some questions?" The doctor asked and Ethan nodded slightly. "Okay, I'm going to have to ask you six to leave the room please." The six friends nodded and turned before leaving the room.

"Okay, so, were you originally trying to commit suicide? Or was it an accident?" The doctor asked.

Ethan felt sick, tapping his fingers against his thighs. "It was originally and then I freaked out and called my friends, who I assume called an ambulance?"

"Well, it was your friends JJ and Simon who got to your flat before the paramedics. They saved your life." The doctor explained and Ethan let out a sob. "Have you tried to take your life before?"

"When I was fifteen but that was over ten years ago. Since then I've only thought about it and hurt myself." Ethan explained honestly.

"Okay. Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders before?" The doctor asked.

"Um depression," Ethan answered quietly. "That's what I was diagnosed with after my first attempt."

"Anything else?" The doctor asked and Ethan shook his head. "Okay, your mum has been contacted and she is on her way in the next few hours. We need to keep you here for a day to make sure you are okay. I have lists of recommended therapists and hope you'll get better."

"Thank you." Ethan rubbed his eyes to clear his tears before the doctor welcomed his friends back in.

They all stood awkwardly before Ethan whispered a small, "Thank you. I regretted as soon as I did it."

"I thought we were going to lose you!" Harry sobbed as Ethan pulled him into a hug.

"I'm sorry, bog," Ethan muttered. "I was just so tired." His voice broke as a sob escaped.

"Please, never do that again," Simon begged.

"I felt so-" Ethan paused, trying to find the right words. "I just felt like nothing I did was good enough. I tried to fight, I did. I saw the therapist and I tried the exercises but nothing was working. So, I tried to make everything stop. It was so hard." Ethan was crying, his words slurring together as he sobbed.

The friends could only watch, their heart was breaking at the sight.

"Ethan." Josh frowned. "We are always here for you. We would do anything for you. If you ever feel like this again, please, talk to us. Or your therapist. None of us has ever been so scared in our lives."

"I'm sorry." Ethan whimpered.

"You're here now. And you are alive and breathing. That's what matters right now okay?" JJ said and Ethan nodded shakily.

"You're going to have scars," Tobi said. "And you'll probably hate them for a while but they're going to show you that you are a survivor."

"I don't know if I'll ever want to look at them again," Ethan said honestly. "And the fucking fans will comment on them. Fuck, have you told them anything?"

"Ethan, the fans can wait," Vik said. "You are far more important."

"Am I?" Ethan asked.

"Of fucking course!" JJ exclaimed.

Ethan was taken aback and just looked down at his lap. 

"You're good enough, Ethan. I promise." Simon whispered.

Ethan just nodded, not fully believing the love he received from his friends. He didn't know if he ever would but as he sat in the hospital bed surrounded by his friends - his brothers - he felt relief that he had woken up in hospital rather then not woken up at all.

#ethan payne #sidemen #behzinga #ethan payne x reader #ethan payne centric #ethan payne imagine #ethan payne fanfiction #behzinga fanfiction #behzinga imagine #behzinga centric #behzinga x reader #sidemen fanfiction #sidemen imagine

[ender-sheep]

gonna just live blog in a single post

these idiots don’t know how to sit in a circle and i love it

you can very much tell they didn’t come up with names beforehand

i have no idea which is ash and which is zackary but i love them

gump really does look like that’s his name

dream and techno are very attached to their skins have they ever had a different skin than modified normal skin in tftsmp

porkums is 36 years old and got held back a lot and i still love him

is schlatt a ghost or just really pale?

poor gump stop bullying him :(

schlatt landlord cryptocurrency arc

schlatts flirting with greg how long until francis is jealous

twins my beloved

...that’s a big house

b u t t o n

the twins have milk buckets again....

awwww stop bullying porkums :(

drlatt

...very? special? button??

uhhhh

ah yes press the button on 3

oh wait i just realized this means canonically there’s other people on the smp besides the actual people

everyone just. leaving.

clout break i guess

stop making fun of his hat it’s nice :(

i s i t m o n o p o l y

nature valley crunch bars ew

oooOooooooOOoO secret lAaaaAir

connor=dirt=haribo

nooo don’t trade porkums for connor

noooo bring back porkums :(

yayyy porkums is back

twins my beloved

haribos are good best gummy bear brand

schlatt stop the constant fourth wall breaks challenge

GLATT

rip rash?

oh good he’s alive

rip gump

oh nope he’s still alive too

just saw gump x schlatt enemies to lovers in chat uhhhh

rip gump

oh nope never mind he’s fine

twins my beloved give the children some land mines

why is chat spamming about the music i can barely hear it how can they tell it’s lavender town wtf

1 in 7.5 trillion with the dudududu damnnnn

G L A T T

‘if i don’t look down gravity can’t get me’

the falling bridges are so cool

the twins have declared greg and francis are probably dating

c a k e

ayyy gumps birthday

punchy time

birthday DIE

l a n d m i n e s

don’t kill rash :(

g r e a t s h o t

G R E A T S H O T

bacon time

that’s a lot of arrow s

who’s miss lemon

what the fuck tubbo

G L A T T

why is glatt singing move along now

ayy porkums my beloved

he really got some of the best and some of the worst actors on the smp

b o u n c e y

whoever puts the star in is gonna die huh...

hold up i left to get food what heppened

WHATS HAPPENIND TP PORKIMS NOOO

nooooooooooo

PORKUMS MY BELOVED COME BACK <\3

I KNEW THAT WOUKD HAPPEN IF HE PUT THE STAR IN

dudududu

ayyy gump drinking bbh plays an alcoholic in literally every tftsmp

...i just tried to drink from a can i never opened

woo train

they broke the track rip

hold up i just noticed the minecarts are stacked oof

NO DONT TAKE GUMP

gump my beloved

pickaxe = pliers

if they kill off the twins i Will cry

wtf is that at the bottom are those chickens

is it glow stone in water??

v i o l e n c e

aww don’t bully rash :(

twins my beloved

f l o a t y

map=meme

even when gump is gone they bully him </3

ah yes wipeout = the bachelor

karl really flirts with every one of sapnap s characters

chat stop bringing up nsfw fanfics challenge it’s not funny and it never was

G L A T T

BOUNCIES

if they choose a twin or rash i Will cry

schlatt and tubbo suggesting business together again :0

l o v e r b o y

NOT ASH NO

obviously not karl

oof francis is losing good

winning??? idk he has the most votes to die

aaaanddd it froze

ok it’s back

francis won

G L A T T

my computer fan light is very strange half of lit up half isn’t idk why it’s like this i can’t control it

oof porkums died because of the hat

rip francis

🦀francis is gone 🦀

NO ASH NOT ASH

DONT SEPARATE THE TWINS

noooooooooo </3

NO ZACKARY

he separated them ;-;

twins my beloved </3

;—;,

G L A T T

i miss zackary and porkums :(

chat very cringe

aww rash flirting with karl

v i o l e m c e

giant spider nice

j u m p g r e g

roasty toasty

uhhhhh?

egg??

this better not be The egg

too much blue to be The egg

S Q U I D S

SQUIDS ON THE CEILING

karl shipping greg and francis

send greg to francis chat

G L A T T

floaty glatt

GLATT WITH A SKULL WHAT WILL HE DO

just realized i’ve been spelling zachary wrong i’m too lazy to change it

schlatt calling greg hot is just so funny

ba ba booey

...speaking of long and hard...?

drlatt

H a m b u r g e r

t h e r o d

‘not his long shiny rod’

r e a l e s t a t e

NO THEYRE DEAD

;—;

NOT ZACHARYY NOOOOO

oh no they’re just wearing skulls

ayyyy gump smells good now nice

porkums my beloved

oh shit it’s schlatts tomb

no ones dead :D

twins my beloved

d r u g s

DUDUDUDU

noooo inbetween time

well at least there was the good ending we all needed after tommys stream

i wonder if the wither roses above the books have any real significance or it it’s just for contrast against the white

KARL WITH NO BRIM

‘find a way into the portal’.... the end portal??

holy shit every time i see the castle it just looks cooler

DONT STRAY FROM THE PATH

m a n y k a r l s

why karl have no hair oof

his eyebrows damn

‘it can’t see you down here’ W H A T

well obviously don’t trust it that was obvious from the beginning

WAIT IS IT THE INBETWEEN MAKING HIM LOSE MEMORY

JUST STICK TO THE PATH

who is it that does the bracket smile :] i know one of them always does i forget who

damn that was cool

#long post #liveblogging #tftsmp

[outrunningthedark]

after the recent Eric Hangs With Spanish Influencer Crew episode that culminated in the tattoo debacle, i do have a bit of a headache. i follow your blog coz i agree w your view on deledier & the boys & i feel for them. the shit they go through. it's hellish. i was also thinking that dele holds a lot of power in this relationship. not sure why, i was not consciously thinking about it. but as we travelled the rocky road of lockdown, insta live, ibiza interview, haribo, & actual ibiza, it hit me?

👋🏼👋🏼 Hello, nonnie!

I am very much a “wait and see” type when it comes to stunting because I can’t know what tricks big bro or Eric have up their sleeves, but even I will admit that, though I didn’t expect to see any of the Spurs crew together (at least not with both boys included), Ibiza girl and her gang re-emerging from the shadows was one hell of a shock. The het side of the fandom had collectively agreed Eric found a blonde socialite to spend time with and... then he “goes back” to two women who should have been old news and they’re still trying to bed him. As I said yesterday, were it known to them Eric was taken by another woman, the antics wouldn’t have gone that far. And, ofc, despite what some fans want to tell themselves about Eric, every “friend” he has does not get treated the same as Markus, or Pedro, or Laura. Not everyone can be trusted. So. If there’s another man in the equation (you know my opinion) it’s best that 20-somethings he sees on rare occasion who like to clearly “have a good time” remain in the dark. If they’re getting “I will fuck Eric” tatts while drunk, I’d hate to think how loose their lips can be 🤐

I’m sure it’s no accident Eric fell off the radar all day and night. Those dudes (meaning his brother and friend also) probably had quite a few people mad and confused. (Friendly reminder: Eric’s father is heavily involved in his career and has taught Eric how to protect his image.)

Now, for your second point - Dele holds the power in their dynamic - I believe you mean he calls more shots/sets the tone? 💯💯 TOTALLY!!! It’s one of my favorite things about their relationship 😩

There have been several times where a Dele Dier moment we scream over was caused or encouraged by our kiddo: “Danny hurts my feelings sometimes”, giving Eric his shirt and seeking him out for a proper hug after Colombia, the minute he said “Netflix and chillin” changed the course of Gogglebox (never mind openly cuddling with him in the pic we will never forget), he *let* Eric hump him in public after Ajax, he checked on his bestie the first match after Norwich, gave him a tummy tap and placed his hand on Eric’s back for that split second.

Let’s move on to the bigger “signs”: Dele got the ball rolling with his quiz story. The insta live was his idea. In the insta live he said “we can argue any of them, you’re gonna lose the argument” which, uh, shows who has the upper hand in private 😳😂, “Eric cooks for me” (he’s made this known twice now) is not just about “proving” they’re together more often than we can ever know. It’s a statement on Eric taking care of him the way he has from the jump. And OF COURSE. Haribo clip!!! Not only does Dele silently walk up to Eric from behind, he directs the gummy to his mouth rather than hold the bag out or place it in Eric’s hand. As he walks away, clearly pleased with himself (that subtle glint in Eric’s eyes. I hate it.) he doesn’t shy away from the camera, oh no. He looks directly at it. People keep harping on about Eric’s BDE, but his man just might have him beat. Remember when Eric said he’d steal Dele’s fearlessness if he could? I can see why.

#anonymous

[junker-town]

The Tour de France’s weirdest tradition is a high-speed, candy-chucking parade

A day in the caravane, the Tour’s dumb, dangerous, and beloved parade of sponsors.

Quentin is yelling out the window of his Haribo Croco-plastered Isuzu, Victor dos-d’âne! Victor dos-d’âne!

A dos-d’âne is a donkey’s back, which is what the French call speed bumps. Victor is a young man strapped to the roof of the Isuzu. Quentin is driving, and he just realized he’s going faster than he meant.

He takes the dos-d’âne and yells back to Victor, Ça va, poulet? A poulet is a chicken, and French youths use the word like Americans might call someone their dog. Victor is ��a va, so we keep speeding along and taking part in perhaps the Tour de France’s weirdest tradition.

Ryan Siu

The caravane is one of the biggest pieces of the Tour, and it’s completely invisible to anyone not watching the race in France. Every day, two hours before the riders start each stage, a parade of Tour sponsors goes out in branded floats in a line that can stretch 15 kilometers as it rolls down a more than 200-kilometer course.

As much as I’d like to think I’m above naked commercialism, the caravane is fascinating. I saw it firsthand for the first time in 2014 and called it moronic, dangerous fun. The Tour claims that roughly 50 percent of the people who pack the side of the road each day do so for the caravane, which chucks out free goodies — like candy, and hats, and key chains, and sausage — to a voracious mass of French people.

I reached out to Haribo to ride with in part because they’re the stars. According to Quentin — a 25-year-old studying in Brussels who is driving for Haribo for a second year — the candy company is by far the most popular set of floats in the caravane, followed by Cochonou, a mass producer of saucisson sausage snacks. Quentin says that because Haribo is so big, the job pays well for a summer gig. He likes the team of Haribo employees, too, and getting to be a part of the Tour de France in some way. He’s a triathlete and a cycling fan.

Ryan Siu

I’m distracting him, though. His radio crackles with chatter from Haribo cars farther ahead, relaying road hazards, or instructions from the caravane’s commissaires. There’s an untold number of things to look out for while driving — speedbumps, chicanes, and stopped vehicles. There’s also a strict schedule to adhere to. The Tour wants the caravane to be done at least two hours before riders are due to arrive at the finish.

But the biggest concern is people — highly excitable, erratic, and fragile people. The Tour restricts caravane vehicles to a max speed of 80 kilometers (50 miles) per hour, and tries to keep an average of 30 kph to minimize the chances that anything goes wrong on the road. There have been bad accidents in the past. In 2000, a 12-year-old boy was hit by a caravane vehicle and died. In 2002, it was a 7-year-old.

But in practice, those restrictions have to be fudged a little if the vehicles are going to keep time.

Around 1 p.m. — roughly three hours into our journey on Stage 4 to Nancy, and two-and-a-half hours before the finish — we take a nature break. Caravane cars try to restrict themselves to one stop, maximum, and only by necessity. Peeing isn’t written into the itinerary. If you have to go, you pull off to the side of the road and find whichever nearby bush or piece of fencing that you like the least.

Ryan Siu

Quentin tells me we absolutely won’t wait more than five minutes, and we absolutely didn’t. We zipped up, hopped back in our Croco-car, and began the dodgiest portion of our journey, hitting the gas to find our place within the rest of the Haribo crew. Other sponsored vehicles would move to the right side of the road when there was space so we could zoom past, but the coordination wasn’t easy, especially while navigating turns and paying mind to the narrow shoulders packed with fans yelling Les bonbons! Les bonbons!

A policeman on a motorbike pulls up on our front wheels to help us chase. We accelerate to 80, 90, 100 … up to 120 kph, and Quentin sees I’m looking at the speedometer and says “well, it’s sometimes OK if the police are with you.” Still he gives Victor a ça va, poulet? and Victor is still strapped to the roof and ça va.

Quentin hasn’t seen an incident in the caravane involving Haribo, and he won’t speak for other brands. There are a few disconcerting moments on our trip, though — a mother yanking back her boy by the collar as he lunges for something in the road, adults lunging and jumping back instinctively when they hear honking.

Louis Bien

“I think this is totally stupid,” Quentin says as a man steps into the road with his dog on a leash. “Sometimes people are holding on to the dogs better than the kids.”

To drive the caravane, you need to be willing to submit yourself to a moment’s sobriety test — Quentin says he was breathalyzed four times last year. Everyone taking part is given safety training. Vehicles shut off their music and stop tossing if they’re in the process of overtaking, and they’ll never throw across lanes of traffic.

The biggest danger is freebies landing in the road, so the chuckers are told to either throw their goods at the ground on an angle so that they slide to the curb, or far over the heads of fans if there’s a space behind them. The second method makes people do a funny little hop to try and catch their freebie, and almost feels like teasing on the part of the sponsors.

The roadside passion for all this free stuff and so much hokiness is mostly un-ironic. Kids and adults hold upturned open umbrellas to give the people on top of the floats a place to aim. Some hold signs with targets on them. People get upset if a float doesn’t throw candy. I saw a woman who appeared to be in her 50s stamp her foot as we passed by without giving her candy. Quentin won’t keep the windows rolled down, he says, so that I won’t hear the obscenities people yell at the cars.

Bear in mind that only a few of the Tour’s sponsors are offering anything fun, in the traditional sense. They include Génération Pêche, a resource for information on fishing regulations, and a campaign to raise awareness against Hepatitis C using the hashtag #DuBruitContrelHépatiteC. That means #NoiseAgainstHepatitisC, and it’s pasted on a truck that’s hauling a giant fake megaphone behind it.

I ask Quentin to ask the veterans among the crew what the weirdest sponsor in the caravane has been. Didier, who has worked the last seven Tours, says that the workers’ union Force Ouvrière used to throw out condoms to the crowd that said “FO will protect you.”

The caravane’s favorite fans are the very young and very old. We see both in large groups. When the caravane has a heads up that a non-profit organization or a school has put a group of kids next to the road, the candy-chuckers will gather armfuls of the fun-size bags and shower them.

The worst fans interfere with the cars. Quentin says that on hot days, some fans will pelt the caravane with water balloons, which may seem like a favor to the people on top of the vehicles, but in reality makes riding in the open air frigid and miserable. Mountain stages are especially tricky to drive. The roads are narrower and more winding, and the fans tend to be young drunk men. Once, Didier says, his vehicle had to stop in the Pyrenees, and he was boarded by hooligans who tried to break into the candy reserves in the trunk.

Today is calmer, 213.5 kilometers, all nearly paper flat. It’s one of the least eventful days in an otherwise action-filled first week of the Tour, but it’s special for Quentin. He’s from the area of Nancy, and he has coordinated friends and family to stand along the course 15 kilometers from the finish. He lets the rest of the Haribo crew know about an hour before that he wants to break decorum a bit, and he gets the OK.

Louis Bien

As we roll up to the meeting point, Quentin rolls down his window, sees the first of his people, and lets out primal holler while honking his horn. He yells Ayy Papa! Ayy Papa!, which means “Ayy Papa! Ayy Papa!” and may not have actually been addressed to his dad.

The stunt was a bit off-script, but it felt natural in the organized chaos that the Tour de France cultivates. Just like the Tour itself, the caravane is an awe-inspiring pain in the ass. And like the Tour, everyone who has a part is proud of it.

Quentin rolls up his window after the drive-by, muting the sound outdoors. He’s looking forward to the mountain stages where the driving is more interesting. He remembers going over the Col d’Aspin in the Pyrenees last year, nearly 5,000 feet above sea level. “We were above the clouds. They were tapping on the car, and it was crazy.”

Then he remembers Victor, and rolls his window back down. He yells Ça va, poulet? and Victor is ça va.

[awkward-toshinori]

Hey Yo, can I get all 200 asks for the ask meme thing? Please and thank you!

Absolutely

200: My crush’s name is:

Horia

199: I was born in:

Romania

198: I am really:

friendly and trustworthy

197: My cellphone company is:

Digi

196: My eye color is:

Aqua Blue

195: My shoe size is:

7,5

194: My ring size is:

20?? hell if i know tbh

193: My height is:

5′7

192: I am allergic to:

nothing

191: My 1st car was:

I can’t drive yet!!

190: My 1st job was:

No jobs yikes :c

189: Last book you read:

Sword of Destiny!!

188: My bed is:

messy and full of plushies

187: My pet:

no pets but ahh  my baby plant

186: My best friend:

I’ve got tons of them and I’m pretty sure they know themselves

185: My favorite shampoo is:

ah I don’t really have any preferences

184: Xbox or ps3:

*big gasp* ps3

183: Piggy banks are:

They’re superb but I would feel so bad about wrecking one

182: In my pockets:

Glasses tissues

181: On my calendar:

uh there’s nothing noted yet

180: Marriage is:

Something quiet amazing and lovely, at least from my point

179: Spongebob can:

aww man I don’t watch spongebob

178: My mom:

is shorther than me, that’s for sure

177: The last three songs I bought were?

I didn’t buy any songs but I did buy albums and the last three I bought I suppose were Aenima by tool, Portrait of An American Familly by Marilyn Manson and Slipknot by Slipknot, I think

176: Last YouTube video watched:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4q9UafsiQ6k

175: How many cousins do you have?

2 or 3 I think

174: Do you have any siblings?

Yes, one

173: Are your parents divorced?

nope

172: Are you taller than your mom?

yes B)

171: Do you play an instrument?

Not yet but I’m planning on getting a bass so

170: What did you do yesterday?

I went to a cool concert

169: Love at first sight:

not rlly

168: Luck:

nope

167: Fate:

also no

166: Yourself:

no *oops doopsie I’m sorry*

165: Aliens:

yes

164: Heaven:

nah

163: Hell:

no

162: God:

nopety

161: Horoscopes:

not really

160: Soul mates:

hmm  a bit

159: Ghosts:

no

158: Gay Marriage:

157: War:

not really

156: Orbs:

not really  :/

155: Magic:

no but I find it interesting154: Hugs or Kisses:

hugs

153: Drunk or High:

I personally wouldn’t go for any of those but drunk ig

152: Phone or Online:

online

151: Red heads or Black haired:

black haired

150: Blondes or Brunettes:

ah, blondes

149: Hot or cold:

cold

148: Summer or winter:

winter

147: Autumn or Spring:

spring

146: Chocolate or vanilla:

vanilla

145: Night or Day:

night

144: Oranges or Apples:

oranges

143: Curly or Straight hair:

straight

142: McDonalds or Burger King:

McDonalds

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate:

White Chocolate

140: Mac or PC:

PC

139: Flip flops or high heals:

flip flops

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor:

sweet and poor tbh

137: Coke or Pepsi:

coke

136: Hillary or Obama:

Obama??!!

135: Burried or cremated:

cremated

134: Singing or Dancing:

singing

133: Coach or Chanel:

coach

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks:

I uh, none

131: Small town or Big city:

big city

130: Wal-Mart or Target:

I had never went to one though Wal-Mart

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler:

Adam Sandler

128: Manicure or Pedicure:

Manicure

127: East Coast or West Coast:

East Coast

126: Your Birthday or Christmas:

Christmas

125: Chocolate or Flowers:

flowers

124: Disney or Six Flags:

disney

123: Yankees or Red Sox:

Yankees

122: War:

I uh personally don’t agree with them and uh dunno

121: George Bush:

Don’t have one yet

120: Gay Marriage:

I find it lovely but too sad it’s not legal here so

119: The presidential election:

Quiet stinky as in no good choices

118: Abortion:

See this topic rips itself in two, if it’s intentionally done I personally think it’s the worst thing to do but that someone can do whatever they want, it’s their body after all, though if it happens and it’s not intended just, big sad react

117: MySpace:

I don’t have an opinion on it

116: Reality TV:

I don’t really watch it nor like it

115: Parents:

I would’ve appreciated if my parents showed me more support and love but not that I have anything against our type of relationship at the moment so

114: Back stabbers:

I totally not like them so I choose to cut contact with them 

113: Ebay:

It’s fine till now

112: Facebook:

I’m not a big fan of Facebook

111: Work:

If it’s something I love, it makes me feel good but if it’s not it kind of brings a feeling of uneasy and frustration to me

110: My Neighbors:

They’re chill, the baby and the puppy are my favorites 

109: Gas Prices:

kinda shitty here

108: Designer Clothes:

They can design what they want however they want, this is not really a topic of interest for me

107: College:

I can’t wait to get to it ngl

106: Sports:

Not one of my interests but they do look fun

105: My family:

I tolerate them easily but yeah I love them

104: The future:

Other than that I’m scared as hell regarding the future? nah

103: Hugged someone:

Eh!! Today!!

102: Last time you ate:

7 hours ago??

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile:

Oh last week I think

100: Cried in front of someone:

U H, yesterday

99: Went to a movie theater:

last thursday

98: Took a vacation:

last Christmas

97: Swam in a pool:

last summer

96: Changed a diaper:

never tbh

95: Got my nails done:

OH, it’s been ages since I’ve done that

94: Went to a wedding:

4 years ago

93: Broke a bone:

never nyehehe B)

92: Got a peircing:

I don’t have any but planning on getting some

91: Broke the law:

never

90: Texted: 

minutes ago

89: Who makes you laugh the most:

tbh, my friends

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is:

my stuff but mostly my baby plant

87: The last movie I saw:

Captain MArvel

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most:

finishing high school

85: The thing im not looking forward to:

Missing upcoming opportunities

84: People call me:

Satana(I have the perferct explanation)

83: The most difficult thing to do is:

talk in servers or groups tbh

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket:

Oh I’d feel terrible and embarassed tbh

81: My zodiac sign is:

LEo

80: The first person i talked to today was:

my boyfriend

79: First time you had a crush:

in 5th grade

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from:

My boyfriend.. because he knows when something’s up with me or if something’s not good

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking:

hmmm weeks ago I think

76: Right now I am talking to:

@angelwings-234

75: What are you going to do when you grow up:

be a programmer 

74: I have/will get a job:

I hope to get one as a programmer in the future (though hell If I know what exactly yet)

73: Tomorrow:

I’ll probably hope for school to end faster just so I can nap

72: Today:

I haven’t done much tbh

71: Next Summer:

Will be so busy and I’m so not up to it

70: Next Weekend:

I’ll be going to a cool ass contest

69: I have these pets:

I have a baby plant!!!

68: The worst sound in the world:

static noise

67: The person that makes me cry the most is:

myself?? sounds a bit edgy

66: People that make you happy:

all the close friends in my life and some artists along with stuff I enjoy a lot

65: Last time I cried:

yesterday

64: My friends are:

There are too many to list them but luv them all

63: My computer is:

full of games that I’m probably not going to finish in the following 2 months

62: My School:

kinda sucks when it comes to students

61: My Car:

does not exist yet

60: I lose all respect for people who:

who are rude and big mean bags of shit?? I could detail this but dunno

59: The movie I cried at was:

Interstellar 

58: Your hair color is:

blonde

57: TV shows you watch:

SOA, Gotham when my bf watches it and I don’t really like TV shows though I have some on my waiting list

56: Favorite web site:

https://www.pbinfo.ro/

55: Your dream vacation:

just, somewhere around a forest, it’d be quiet lovely ngl

54: The worst pain I was ever in was:

tooth pain

53: How do you like your steak cooked:

a bit raw tbh

52: My room is:

ass messy as me

51: My favorite celebrity is:

uhhh Corey Taylor

50: Where would you like to be:

Right now?? At my bf, if it wouldn’t bother him..

49: Do you want children:

ABsolutely

48: Ever been in love:

still am ig

47: Who’s your best friend:

I have too many but love them all so much

46: More guy friends or girl friends:

I have more guy friends apparently 

45: One thing that makes you feel great is:

achieving something

44: One person that you wish you could see right now:

All of my best-friends tbh

43: Do you have a 5 year plan:

I do

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die:

Not yet and I doubt I’d do it

41: Have you pre-named your children:

me and my bf came up with some names but who knows

40: Last person I got mad at:

My bf i think

39: I would like to move to:

another city in my country, a much bigger one

38: I wish I was a professional:

artist

37: Candy:

Haribo

36: Vehicle:

Renault or Dacia

35: President:

don’t really have one

34: State visited:

I haven’t been to any at all

33: Cellphone provider:

Digi

32: Athlete:

I don;t have one yikes

31: Actor:

Hmm Benicio Del Toro

30: Actress:

I like some but I don’t have a favorite one

29: Singer:

Peter Steele, his voice is simply, lovely

28: Band:

Ohhh anon Tool and Cargo atm

27: Clothing store:

I don’t have a fav one

26: Grocery store:

any??

25: TV show:

Sons Of Anarchy

24: Movie:

The Alien trilogy

23: Website:

Twitter I think

22: Animal:

Cat

21: Theme park:

I don’t really have one

20: Holiday:

Christmas

19: Sport to watch:

ski jumping

18: Sport to play:

Volleyball I think

17: Magazine:

Don’t have one

16: Book:

The Shinning

15: Day of the week:

Saturdays

14: Beach:

Don’t really like beaches

13: Concert attended:

Truda’s concert for moment but I suppose Disturbing’s going ro replace it or maybe Cannibal Corpse, who knows

12: Thing to cook:

Pudding

11: Food:

Noodles or cremeschnitte

10: Restaurant:

One called Anna

9: Radio station:

don’t have one

8: Yankee candle scent:

dreamy summer nights

7: Perfume:

men’s one are my favorite, gotta admit it

6: Flower:

ORchids

5: Color:

purple and black

4: Talk show host:

don’t have one

3: Comedian:

A romanian one, can’t remember his name

2: Dog breed:

German Shepherd, American Eskimo, Border Collie, Golden Retriever, Siberian HUsky there are too many I can’t choose only one

1: Did you answer all these truthfully?

yes I did it oh god

[vexationings]

working on this show was the first time in a long time i have felt consistently fulfilled and justified in the pursuit of what i want to do. i think the ephemerality of theatre can be startling; a special space is built, intense relationships forged, great levels of emotion - love, loss, hope, anguish, joy, triumph, romance, grief, delight - galvanized, and above all a mutual agreement to let vulnerability rule. and then it’s gone, and the house empties, the costumes are gone, the moments of sweet belonging while you wait in the backstage corridor listening intently to hear your cast-mates pour their hearts out - it’s all over.

i want to write all these moments down so i never forget them. the long rehearsals, just Paige, Francis, Mikael, and me; the laughter shared; the endless relevé practice; late nights at Automatic Slims, laughter in the bathroom at the bottom of the staircase; beers at Wood and Ales; sprinting through the east village on a quest for cheesecake at 1am; the safety of Mo’s megabed; dollar slices and haribo cherries and coffee and red bull; the fight calls every day, rapiers slung through belts and heels clicking across the stage, the shink of metal on metal; Lauren and Zak’s daily calls and line notes and jokes over headset backstage; long island accents, “prithee tell me no more of thy fine women,”; the ramones and letters to cleo blaring over sword fights; “the merylenium approaches” and “cheristroikia;” hey hey stage door it’s bagel day; Cole giggling to themselves over their wig and Dylan snapping his fan open and shut; five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred god damn minutes; i want to dance with somebody; the warmth of a hand around your waist or a shoulder against yours; a deep, sweet smile from across the table. 

i feel and feel and feel and feel and feel and cherish every moment, and then find myself in a position where i can’t shake anything off, can’t dismiss a single moment. i desperately want these people close to me, a heart rich with wounds and flames. i am so susceptible to the intensity of any emotion and attachment and even though i keep trying to close myself off, i am reminded over and over again the value of letting yourself be known (that mortifying ordeal!). loneliness is persistent and loss is inevitable but i have felt so at home for the past six weeks, and i am so full of gratitude.

#i'm in love with everyone and my heart aches knowing this is over #this process has been so moving and eye-opening and full of growth and love and discovery #in my heart of hearts i love love and want to be loved and i have felt nothing but love this whole process #vi.

[niallsstainedcoffeecup]

The Road Trip Part 1

Hey guys, this is a new Bestfriend!Harry series.  Harry and his best friend, Luna, go on a trip together, but Luna’s boyfriend ruins it all.  Feedback and requests are welcomed.  Enjoy!

            Harry tugged the bulky orange suitcase down the cobblestone path. He huffed, hoisted the luggage over his shoulder, dropping the case in the tiny trunk.  He hoped there was not another suitcase awaiting him in her house.  His best friend, Luna, leaned against the cool gray brick wall.  Luna frantically scrolled through her phone, thumb hovering over her boyfriend’s contact. Harry planned a summer road trip since Luna dreamt of touring the world as a child.  Harry enjoyed watching Luna’s eyes light up with joy and curiosity. Harry remembered when he brought her along with him to an art opening, and Harry would never forget how she bounced with joy all night.  What was the only downside to their trip?  Luna’s annoying boyfriend invited himself.  Now, they were thirty minutes late, waiting for Luna’s boyfriend to show up. Harry remembered meeting Luna’s boyfriend, Daniel, at a house party.  Daniel, a handsome man, but could kill a party in a matter of seconds.  The man spewed random facts that put everyone to sleep.  Luna chewed on her nails, waiting for Daniel to answer his phone.   “Hello?” His thick British accent rang out. “Babe, where are you?  Harry and I are waiting for you,” She mumbled. Harry rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath, “Yeah, like I’m a ball of happiness waiting for him to show up.” She glared, bumping Harry’s hip with her own. Harry chuckled, deciding to lock up her house while she spoke with Daniel.   “Okay, we will pick you up.” Harry groaned internally, refusing to travel an extra fifteen miles to Daniel’s house.  Harry prepared to throw a tantrum, but his icy heart melted when he caught sight of her wide grin.  It would only be a few months with the man.            Daniel packed three suitcases, overloading the trunk.  Harry assumed half of the suitcases contained books since Daniel curled up in the backseat and read Moby Dick.  Harry attempted to read that book once for a class but resorted to spark notes after ten minutes of deciphering the text.  Luna sat next to Harry, fiddling with the radio stations.  Harry enjoyed trips with Luna because she was the ideal passenger. Luna played the best music, fed Harry snacks they had purchased at local shops, and talked enough to keep Harry awake. Daniel noted Luna feeding Harry chips and Haribo, growling with jealousy.  Daniel despised Harry.  Harry followed Luna around with hearts in his eyes, and Daniel assumed asking Luna to be his girlfriend would tell Harry that she was off limits, but it had not worked. Luna squealed, yanking her fingers away from Harry’s rosy lips.  Harry laughed, licking her thumb again, after accidentally brushing his tongue against her fingers when he grabbed a green gummy bear.   “Can I have the yellow ones?” She wondered. Harry nodded, “Of course, you know that the yellow ones remind me of cleaning products.  How could you like them?” She chuckled, “I don’t know.  I guess I’m a weirdo.” “We knew that,” Harry joked. Daniel rolled his eyes, slamming his book shut. Harry glanced back, smirking at Daniel’s furrowed eyebrows.  Harry felt thrilled when he annoyed Daniel.   “How’s the book?” Harry asked. “Great, it is my fifth time reading it.  The music playing makes it hard to focus,” Daniel grumbles.   Luna frowned, twisting the knob to lower Stevie Nicks’ voice.  Harry scowled, refusing to let Daniel control this trip. “Didn’t know that my gran is with us,” Harry hissed. Luna frowned, disappointed with Harry’s behavior.  Harry ignored her stare, focusing on the road.   “Harry, have you read Moby Dick?” Daniel asked, leaning his elbows on his knees.   Harry nodded, “Professor Goldstein assigned it sophomore year.  I nearly died that semester.” Luna giggled, praying Daniel would not retort with a backhanded comment. “Well, I guess you did not understand the symbolism.  Some people can’t wrap their minds around great literature.” Harry’s blood boiled.  His fist tightened around the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white.  Harry opened his mouth, preparing the best argument, but Luna interrupted him. “I finished Fifty Shades of Gray,” She blurted out. Harry smiled, relaxing his muscles, “Did you?” She laughed, “Yeah, that is the last time I let Niall choose the book for our club.” “I’m surprised he didn’t force you to read Golfer’s Digest,” Harry joked. “He nearly did, but Kassie stopped him.” “Bless Kassie, she saved that boy,” Harry tsked, shaking his head. Luna nodded, zoning out on the scenery around her.  Daniel continued planning his next attack on Harry.  An entire trip with that man was too long for Daniel.            Harry yawned for the fourth time, searching for their hotel.  Daniel snoozed in the backseat, cuddling Moby Dick into his chest.  Luna leaned her head against the window, her pale cheek smushed against the cool glass. Harry watched as her lips parted, allowing small puffs of air to flutter out.  Harry grinned, covering her arms with his sweatshirt.  Harry found the neon blue sign, parking in the filled lot. Harry groaned, stretching out his arms. He reached across the console, nudging her cheeks with his thumbs.  She whined, eyebrows furrowing, as she buried herself deeper into his passenger seat.   “Love, we arrived.  You need to wake up,” Harry softly whispered.   Harry spent years learning how to wake up Luna. One must softly nudge her into consciousness, then talk softly because her ears are still sensitive.  When Luna is fully awake, one must prepare for cuddles and promise that she can rest soon.  “Can you carry me?” Harry’s heart skipped a beat.   Usually, he would lift her up and carry her into the hotel, but Daniel would throw a fit.   “I would, but Daniel would have my head. How about you get up, and I’ll repay you with chocolate chips muffins.” She cracked an eye open, “And a tall iced latte?” Harry chuckled, “Yes.” She moaned and groaned, gathering her phone and snacks.  Harry flipped around, swatting Daniel on the forehead.  Daniel jumped awake, shooting daggers at Harry.   “Oh, I’m sorry, I did not know that was your forehead.  Anyways, we have a hotel room to catch.” Daniel huffed, climbing out of Harry’s car. Luna opened her arms, falling into Daniel’s side.  Harry bit his lip because he knew that if Daniel weren’t here, Luna would be cuddled into his side right now.  Harry pulled each suitcase out, carrying his toward the check-in desk.  Harry helped Daniel once their room keys were in their pockets.  Daniel trudged past Harry’s room, but Luna stopped.  She smiled sadly, watching Harry open his door.   “Are you okay?” She asked. Harry turned toward his dark hotel room. Usually, Luna shared a room with him on every trip.  His mom, Anne, stopped setting up the guest room since Luna and Harry shared his bed. Harry wanted to hold onto Luna and tell Daniel to fuck off, but he simply nodded. “Great, breakfast tomorrow?”  She asked, bouncing on her tiptoes. Harry grinned, “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Harry bent down, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek.  She froze, blushing at the contact.  Harry smirked, watching her stumble away while waving at him.  Harry shut his door, allowing his tired eyes to close. Luna shut her door, regulating her breathing after Harry’s peck.  Daniel looked up from his book, winking at her. “Are you tired?” He asked, patting the spot on the bed next to him. She frowned, “I have an early morning with Harry.  We have this breakfast shop we want to try.” “Am I not invited?” Daniel asked, perking up. She rolled her eyes, “Of course, why would you not be invited?” “I don’t know.  You said that you and Harry had plans.  You did not specify that I was included in them.” “What’s wrong with you?” She noticed his cold tone. He fluffed his pillow, “You always do things with him.  We are exploring the world, shouldn’t we be doing things as a couple?” “We are doing things as a couple.  Harry is apart of the package deal.  You understood that when you asked me to be your girlfriend,” She hissed, throwing her t-shirt onto the ground. “Fine, let’s just go to sleep,” He huffed. “I’ll be right there,” She mumbled, slipping into her nightgown.   She slid open the balcony door, stepping out into the cool summer night wind.  She stared up at the constellations, organizing her thoughts. She did not understand where Daniel’s jealousy came from, but she was not a fan.  Maybe Harry spent too much time with her, but where else would he go?            Harry hummed along with Shania Twain his fingers tossed his hair around. Harry recently ditched his long locks, which upset Luna.  He remembered her complaint being, “Now, I can’t call you Tarzan.  What will I call you?”  Harry fixed his hair, giving up on a stray strand that hovered over his right eyebrow.  Harry zipped up his black jeans, tossed on a white t-shirt, and slid his feet into a pair of brown boots.  Harry skipped down the musty hall, halting at Luna’s door.  He lifted his fist, knocking twice.  Luna squealed, spritzing vanilla perfume on her skin.  Daniel rolled his eyes, collecting her wallet and his book.  Luna cracked open the door. “Who is it?” She asked, attempting to quiet her giggles. Harry bit back his giggles, “Maid service.” “Oh great, I left quite the mess,”  She yanked open the door, gasping when she saw Harry.   By this time Harry and Luna were in a fit of giggles, “What a handsome maid.” Daniel stood there, feeling confused and irritated.  They had not left a mess in their room, and why was Harry this perky at seven in the morning.   “It’s an inside joke,” Luna explained, catching sight of Daniel’s expression. “Yeah, one time, Luna called the maid since she accidentally spilled soda on the carpet.  I had left to grab a movie, and when I returned she thought I was the maid.” “I guess it’s a ‘should have been there’ type of joke,” Daniel complained. Luna frowned, “Well, let’s grab breakfast.” Harry nodded, offering a hand to her. Usually, Luna held Harry’s hands wherever they went.  Luna blamed her cold hands on poor circulation, so Harry warmed them with his own. Luna looked over at Daniel’s raised eyebrow.  She nodded, nudging Harry’s side.  Harry noticed the sorrow and yearning in her eyes.  His smile fell, and so did his heart.  He nodded, watching Daniel link elbows with Luna.  Harry glared because Luna hated linking elbows.  She complained that linking elbows made her feel awkward.  What was she supposed to do with her arm?  Harry swallowed his comments, walking toward the elevator.   “How did you sleep?” Daniel asked Harry. Harry smiled, “Wonderful.  How did you sleep?” “Great, Luna didn’t hog the blankets last night.” Luna chuckled awkwardly, “I forgot my second blanket.” Harry frowned, Luna needed multiple blankets to stay warm throughout the night.  Harry supplied her with three blankets each time they had a sleepover.  How could Daniel laugh it off while his girlfriend barely slept?            The tiny brick café smelt of delicious baked goods.  Luna’s stomach growled as soon as she stepped inside. Harry’s mouth watered, examining each muffin and bread they had.  Daniel whined about the bitter coffee scent.   “What are you going to order?” Harry asked Luna. Luna checked the menu again, “I want an egg croissant, but I want to try a chocolate chip muffin.” “Why not get both?” Harry wondered. “This is why I love you,” She smiled, leaning into Harry. Harry smiled, “I love you too.” They each ordered their items.  Harry decided on two slices of their lemon poppy bread, Luna ordered the croissant and the muffin, and Daniel chose a slice of banana bread.   “Can we sit outside?  Please?  It looks beautiful.  The sun is coming out, they have vines draping down the umbrellas, and we can people watch!” Harry nodded, “Sure, anything you want dear.” She rolled her eyes, swatting at Harry. Harry watched her run out to grab a table.  She waved, pointing toward a table near the sidewalk.  Luna enjoyed watching people go about their lives and making up stories based on the short encounter.  Harry loved each story.   “Are you in love with her?” Daniel spoke up, startling Harry.   “Geez, where did you come from?” Harry asked, gripping his chest. Daniel rolled his eyes, “Answer me.” Harry rolled his eyes this time, “Commanding, how attractive.  No, I am not in love with Luna.  We’ve been best friends since middle school.  She understands me better than I understand myself sometimes, but I do not love her.  You can back off now.” “Oh, I’m not jealous.  I wanted to make it clear that she is mine.  She never thinks of you in bed,” Daniel bragged. Harry clenched his jaw, “Great.  Just don’t call her yours because she is an independent woman.  She could drop you in a second and never care.  Now, shall we join her?” Daniel watched Harry scamper off,  “I’ll make her hate you.” “What took you so long?” Luna asked Daniel, noticing he arrived later than Harry had. “Bathroom,” Daniel mumbled. Harry pointed his fork toward an elderly lady talking animatedly on the phone, “What’s her story.” Luna nodded, “Ah, Karen.  She recently divorced her husband because he cheated on her with the pool boy.  Right now, she’s exploding on a sandwich shop employee about her divorce.  She’ll never find love again, except in cheap wine bottles.” “Wow, what a tragedy,” Harry mumbled, wiping away a fake tear. “Sometimes people fall out of love.”            “Are you ready to explore?” Daniel asked, stepping into the hotel with Luna and Harry. “Sure, where should we go?” Luna questioned. Harry looked around the hotel, “Actually, you go ahead.  I’ll catch up with you two later.” “What?  I thought we wanted to do this together,” Luna complained. “I do, but I need to grab something. Have fun with Daniel,” Harry mumbled, pecking her cheek before jogging off. Daniel nearly cheered, thinking Harry understood his message about leaving Luna alone.   Luna pouted, turning toward Daniel, “Where should we go?” “I found a bookstore around here.  Shall we visit it?” Luna shrugged, wishing Harry was here to make some stupid joke.   Harry drove down crowded streets, searching for the shop.  Harry smiled parking at some dimly lit store.  Harry stumbled through the front door, breathing in the cinnamon candle scent. An elderly lady rushed toward Harry. The short, chubby lady reminded Harry of his gran.  Happiness and comfort emitted from the woman. “Hello dear, how may I help you?” Her honey-sweet voice warmed Harry. “I’m searching for your quilted blankets. My best friend left her blanket at home, and we are traveling all summer.  I figured I’d buy her one,” Harry blushed. She grinned, “Right this way.  We have a wide selection of quilts.  My daughters and I knit each one.” Harry gripped the soft cloth, feeling his muscles relax, “Wow, these feel amazing.  I might have to buy two.” “We would love that.  Everyone buys quilts online, so our customers have disappeared.” Harry frowned, “I’m sorry.” “It’s okay, everything will be okay. I’ll be at the desk when you are ready,” The woman flashed one last smile before leaving Harry alone. Harry grabbed a lavender quilt for Luna, a blue one for himself, and three of the yellow ones.  Harry did not need five new quilts, but he wanted to help the shop. “Wow, you are purchasing five quilts?” “Yes ma’am, these quilts are amazing.” The woman grinned, ringing up Harry’s quilts. Harry enjoyed making people’s lives better.  Harry walked out of the store, proud that he made that woman’s day.  He messaged Luna, telling her to meet him at the hotel.              Luna dragged Daniel down the street, eager to see Harry.  Daniel spent an hour discussing books with another woman. The doe-eyed woman checked out Daniel too many times for Luna.  Luna attempted to pull Daniel away, but he waved her off.  She finally left him alone, missing the moment when he saved the other woman’s number on his phone.  Now, Daniel boiled with anger.  He had to leave because of Harry.  Luna waited impatiently in the elevator, watching the glowing red digits change on each floor.  Harry sat on his bed, tapping his feet.  Luna knocked on the door, opening it only a second later. “Harry, what is the surprise?” She asked, eyes searching around his room.   Harry laughed, removing his hands from behind his back, revealing the quilt.  Luna squealed with joy, reaching for the blanket. “Thank you. You are a lifesaver.  I hate sleeping without an extra blanket!” Daniel glared, watching Harry buy his girlfriend another gift.  Harry constantly surprised Luna with tiny gifts, which Daniel would buy if Harry didn’t beat him to the punch.   “I bought you one too.  I didn’t know what color you wanted, so I bought you a yellow.” Daniel forced a smile on his face, “Thank you.” “What were you two doing?” “Daniel took us to this bookstore.  It was amazing,” Luna cooed, smiling up at Daniel. Daniel smirked, capturing her plump lips with his thin lips.  Harry winced, looking away from his best friend making out with her boyfriend. “Well, how about we go see that art museum? I’ll even bring my camera.” “Yes, Harry takes the best photos,” Luna gushed.   Harry chuckled, loading up the film into his camera.   “I mean, he’s an art major.  Shouldn’t he be good at photography?” Daniel wondered. “No, I could suck at it.  That would be ironic,” Harry joked. Daniel nodded, chuckling lightly to break the tension.  Luna gripped Daniel’s hand, moving toward the door.  Harry followed, locking his hotel room.  Maybe things with Daniel would get better with time.  

#mine #writing #fanfic #fanfiction #harry styles #harry styles imagine #one direction #1d #1d imagine #one direction imagine

[daisies-and-lilies-castle-blog]

WLATE/AER Chapter 58 English Script

SPOILERS! READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION!

Hey there, fellow WLAE/AER fanatics! We present to you today this fan-made English Script of Chapter 58 of Lezhin webtoon “At the End of the Road” by Haribo, which is available in Korean. The English version will release soon. This script is to help tide over those of us who cannot wait to find out what happens next, and to provide an alternate translation to be used in conjunction with the official to provide us crazy-obsessed fans with a deeper understanding of the story. It is brought to you by Kirin, myself, and other helpful friends.

As most, if not all, of you know, there are parts of translating that are objective, and other parts that are subjective. No two translations will be identical. We hope that our version of this chapter’s dialogue and text will enrich your experience in reading “What Lies at the End”.

Please be sure to purchase the chapter to follow along. This script will not be comprehensible if you don’t follow along with the original chapter. It’s a comic. You have to see the pictures to know what’s going on.

FRIENDLY REMINDER: Please do not ask my collaborators or me for pirated raws. We read this webtoon atwww.lezhin.com/ko/comic/end for the Korean version andwww.lezhin.com/en/attheend for the English version. Thank you for understanding.

Do not use our translations in a way that hurts the author, or breaks the law.

AT THE END OF THE ROAD CHAPTER 58

By Haribo

English Script

*drip*

*drip*

*drip*

MIN JAEJUN: I’ll take you under my wing as my son again.

I’ll make sure that you are never wanting of anything from now on.

In return, I expect you to rid yourself of everything and everyone in your life up until now.

NARRATIVE TEXT BOXES: These were the first words ever spoken to me from this stranger who imperiously appointed himself as my “father”.

The essential condition, quid pro quo

was that I was to assume the identity of his son, who had been terminally ill since birth, when he died.

I held back the smile that was threatening to surface.

TEXT: This person had discarded my mother and me without hesitation, and here he was, ready to mess with other people’s lives once more as if they were of no consequence to him anyway.

MIN JAEJUN: I won’t pressure you.

If you actually have a brain, you’ll obviously agree to my terms.

NARRATIVE TEXT BOXES: I realized that despite everything he had done, it didn’t really matter.

If I missed this opportunity, I’d never get another chance to escape from here–

MIN JAEJUN: You don’t have to decide right away.

I’ll come back in two weeks.

WOOJIN: No.

You don’t need to come back in two weeks.

NARRATIVE TEXT BOX:  –which would make it impossible for a nobody like me to be able to change myself for the better.

 WOOJIN: I’ll, I’ll go.

THOUGHT TEXT BOXES: I have no reason to stew over the details.

So long as I pretend to have thrown it all away,

after patiently awaiting the right time, I can go back.

NARRATIVE TEXT BOX: In this house, I had to make sure that I endured everything without complaint.

 *Whack!!*

MRS. MIN: Incorrect, again?

Once more.

You truly are just as idiotic and worthless as your mother.

If you can’t memorize all of this, then know that you will not be able to sleep tonight until you do.

WOOJIN: …

NARRATIVE TEXT BOXES: The punishments weren’t really meant to improve my academics,

but rather, served as an outlet for her hatred and contempt.

*Shake…*

 *Clatter-*

*Clatter*

*Set*

MIN JAEJUN: When you set down your fork, turn it face-down,

and when you set down your knife, face the cutting edge toward your plate—haven’t you been instructed on how to do this before?

WOOJIN: …I apologize.

MIN JAEJUN: It seems you are still eating like a worthless beggar without even basic manners.

NARRATIVE TEXT BOX:  Those eyes were only concerned with constantly gauging whether I was worth anything to him as his son.

MIN JAEJUN: Since you do not possess the social grace required to dine at this table, you will excuse yourself and retire upstairs now.

Siwoon has requested to see you.

WOOJIN: …Yes.

*Place…*

NARRATIVE TEXT BOX: The most difficult circumstance of all to endure–

*Creak…*

SIWOON: …Why do you always just stand there and not say anything?

Don’t you have something to say to me?

NARRATIVE BOX: –was being in that room, inundated with the rotting stench of death.

 SIWOON: Mother mentioned this. That you’re a bastard with no basic sense of propriety, and that if it weren’t for this unusual situation, you’d never be welcome in our home.

The only reason you’re allowed to be here is because I was born with this kind of body. That being the case, you should be thanking me…

*Glance*

SIWOON: So why are you looking at me with those eyes?

NARRATIVE TEXT BOX: It was rotten to the core.

THOUGHT TEXT BOXES:

It’s okay.

I can endure it.

I can wait.

I just have to pretend to have moved on from my past

and await the perfect opportunity.

 WOOJIN THOUGHTS: Soon…

We’ll be able to see each other soon.

TIME JUMP, STILL FLASHBACK

*Bzzt..*

*Bzzzt…*

*Glance*

WOOJIN: Yes. I received your call.

PERSON ON PHONE: I…

WOOJIN: I am pretty certain that, barring extenuating circumstances, I instructed you to never contact me by phone.

PERSON ON PHONE: I am calling you under those circumstances.

PERSON ON PHONE: You must come to ㅇㅇ Hospital immediately.

WOOJIN: …!!

NARRATIVE TEXT: On the way to the hospital, my head teemed with countless thoughts.

NARRATIVE TEXT BOXES: There was no way it could be that serious.

I had even planned to make sure you were okay at a distance,

and then give my hired lackey hell for contacting me over such an inconsequential matter.

WOOJIN: …Fuck.

What the hell is this…?

NARRATIVE TEXT BOX: I could not believe my own eyes.

*Bite*

WOOJIN: FUCK…!!!

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS…!!!!

NARRATIVE TEXT BOXES: If I just wait,

I just had to wait,

*abrupt movement

“If I just wait, then my chance would surely come,” was what I had thought.

WOOJIN: Yoon Taemin!!!!!!!

Why are you just lying there!?!!!!

…Open your eyes…!!!!!

Fuck!!!

I said, open your eyes!!!!!!

WOOJIN: …Please,

Please, just open your eyes, Taemin-ah.

…Please?

Don’t just throw me away and leave me here.

NARRATIVE BOXES: If I desperately begged like that,

then surely, just like before–.

DOCTOR: …Let’s stop.

At this point, there is too much irreversible damage…

DOCTOR:  Time of Death: December 9th, 10:21 PM.

NARRATIVE TEXT BOX:–you’d come to save me once again.

*Heavy footstep*

*Shove*

*Place…*

WOOJIN: Yoon Taemin…!

WOOJIN: Don’t you dare go wherever you please.

I’ll never, ever, let you go.

 END FLASHBACK

*Press*

 WOOJIN: What are you doing?

TAEMIN: Ah,

I was waiting for you to get out so I could see you before I go…!

 *Choke*

 TAEMIN: Hey…!

This…!

This…!!

Why are you shirtless when it’s so cold?!!!

Are you trying to show off your body!?!!!

TAEMIN: That, looks nice…!!

I mean, it’s nice, but mine was great too, you know?!

TAEMIN: Just hurry up and put somethi…

…

…What is it, you,

did something happen?

WOOJIN: …A bad memory came back to me.

 WOOJIN: Yoon Taemin,

stay the night.

TO BE CONTINUED.

#what lies at the end #at the end of the road #wlate #haribo #yoon taemin #min woojin #chapter 58

[the1975hqs]

The Flask, a 17th-century former coaching inn at the top of Highgate Hill in north London, has seen its share of poetic outsider figures. Dick Turpin purportedly hid out in the stables. Byron, Shelley and Keats dropped by after visiting the opium-addicted local resident Coleridge. Now Matt Healy, leader of the pop interlopers the 1975 and cutting a Byronic dash himself with a wayward thatch of curls and rose-painted leather jacket and jeans, is in the Flask’s cellar-like back room.

He’s explaining how the Wilmslow band’s heavy presence at this year’s Brit awards — nominations for best British group and album of the year, plus a live appearance — is proof that rank outsiders can upset the mainstream.

“It’s an important moment for us because we’re a subversive act to have broken through on such a level that the Brits would want us to perform,” says Healy, 27, staring intensely over the weathered wooden table. “I’m not from the Brits’ world. I shouldn’t be there and everyone needs to know that. I couldn’t get arrested until I was 23.” He thinks about this for a moment. “Actually, I did get arrested when I was 23, but you know what I mean. I suffer massively from impostor syndrome.”

A cynic might point out that as far as impostors go Healy is an unusually well-connected one. His mother is Denise Welch, alumna ofCoronation Street and Loose Women, and his father is the actor Tim Healy of Auf Wiedersehen, Pet.

“I answered the phone to Harold Pinter once,” Matt Healy offers. “My parents did make following a creative pursuit seem like a viable life choice, but Coronation Street doesn’t buy you currency in rock’n’roll. It’s a curse, actually. When people say my parents bought my connections I think: ‘Yeah, the best person to get you a record deal is Curly Watts. Mention Gail Tilsley to Universal Records and you’ve got a No 1 album in America.’ ”

Forming the band during lunch breaks at Wilmslow High School in 2002 when they were only 13, Healy, guitarist Adam Hann, bassist Ross MacDonald and drummer George Daniel went under a variety of names before settling on the 1975. They vowed to reflect a young, internet-bred generation’s relationship with music where there are no guilty pleasures any more, just an endless world of choices from which to cherry-pick. This approach — of combining everything from shiny pop and gothic introspection to overblown stadium rock, and aligning it all to the terminal oversharer Healy’s emotionally wrought lyrics — led to such glorious moments as playing a concert in Stornoway, on the Isle of Lewis, to an audience of one.

Full interview under the cut

“We were a band with an identity crisis,” Healy says. “I was going around telling people we were the ambassadors of a generation who approach music in a non-linear way, who don’t think in terms of genre. The only problem was nobody was interested.”

Gradually, word got out. The 1975’s self-named debut from 2013 was a hit. When the preposterously titled I Like It When You Sleep, For You Are So Beautiful Yet So Unaware of It went to No 1 in 2016, the 1975 became Britain’s biggest cult band. Now here we are on a rainy January lunchtime and the wildly entertaining Healy is grappling with his conflicted feelings on stardom.

“Can you even be a rock star today?” he asks, talking as much to himself as to me. “The only way I can be a rock star is to be a humble egomaniac. I am saying: love me, with no top on, in a pair of leather trousers, but that obnoxiousness comes with genuine fragility and fear because it’s important for people to feel personally addressed when it comes to art. I’d rather talk about a part of myself that I have a profound distaste for than paint myself in a good way.”

What part of himself does he have a distaste for? “I’m constantly apologising for being pretentious and egotistical,” he says. “And I don’t like it that I can’t have platonic relationships with women. I don’t know why that is. I don’t sexualise women and I’m not misogynistic, but perhaps I’m such an atheist that the closest I can get to divinity is the feeling you have when a woman likes you . . .” He puts his hands over his mouth. “Oh no! This is all going a bit Ron Burgundy!”

Healy does tend to let his mouth run away from him in a way not dissimilar to Will Ferrell’s portentous character in Anchorman. In an interview with The Times in 2014 he pondered on whether he might actually be the Messiah. Last year he got into hot water after recalling Taylor Swift coming to one of the 1975’s concerts. Reflecting on the hysteria surrounding her, he wondered if it would be emasculating to be her boyfriend. The celebrity blogger Perez Hilton picked up on it and interpreted it as an insult against Swift. It also started a rumour that Healy was Swift’s boyfriend.

“Imagine what it is like being Taylor Swift,” says Healy now. “A guy you met for five minutes gets so badgered by questions about you, he inevitably says something that can be misheard as a shade. It made me realise how mental her world is.”

Healy is like your loudest, silliest friend who became famous by mistake and is still working out what you’re meant to do. When he tells of sharing a Saturday Night Live green room with Larry David, Ben Stiller and Bernie Sanders or recalls Dolly Parton calling him a cutie, you sense his awe.

“Mate, I’m just a snot-nosed teenager from Wilmslow and I’ve taken that world with me. The guy who used to do our merchandise is now my assistant, but I can’t call him my assistant because it’s Dan from maths who I used to sit next to. I’d like to say that backstage is like a meeting of Ginsberg, Blake and Lennon. Actually it’s more like The Inbetweeners with us playing Fifa and calling each other dickheads. Put me in a room with famous people and I’m rubbish. When David Byrne was in the dressing room next to ours I was the most uncool person in the world. I was lingering by the door, waiting for David Byrne to come out. Then he appears just as I’m opening a bag of Haribo, I’m shocked, they split open and go everywhere, he walks past me without saying anything and I’m just a dick with a bag of sweets.”

Then there are the fans, who are for the most part teenage girls who identify deeply with Healy while also finding him extremely attractive. “I do take my artistic responsibility seriously because with some of my fans it gets heavy,” he says, looking serious for a moment. “Someone sent me razor blades she tried to kill herself with. She was giving them to me to make sure she never did it again. Kids draw me all the time. I used to have my own emotional baggage. Now I have to buy a suitcase on every tour just for all the emotional baggage I get sent.”

Is that a burden? “No because I totally get it. Fundamentally what people want is human connection. Regardless of religion, or whether the world will come to an end, or what worlds may have come before, the only thing that will actually, definitely happen is interaction with another human being.”

All of this fed into I Like It When You Sleep . . . , its title an expression of Healy’s desire to make an album as over the top and emotionally unchained as possible. The funky, Prince-like Love Me is his response to becoming an icon of sorts; Ugh! is an expression of disgust at his former cocaine excess; The Ballad of Me and My Brain is a depiction of being driven insane by fame; and Loving Someone is a celebration of companionship that has become something of an anthem for the LGBT community. Healy says the album is the product of a band facing up to the crisis of finding themselves, after years of indifference, very popular indeed.

“We freaked out!” says Healy, excitedly, of their sudden success. “We spent ten years in my dad’s garage without anyone caring who we were. Nobody would sign us, so our manager formed a label and signed us for 20 quid in his kitchen, while making pasta and pesto. And then it happened. We were on tour for two years, suddenly it was time to make the second album and we didn’t know if we could do it. George had a breakdown and had to get help. And what was there to write about? I knew I couldn’t release a single called God, Aren’t Threesomes a Nightmare?”

He considers this. “Not that I was having threesomes, but nobody else was sharing our experiences so I had to go deep. What are the fundamentals? Fear, religion, struggles with addiction, my relationship with my mother, dealing with death . . . And I can’t change who I am. When it comes down to it I’m a gaunt, insecure person who is writing about being young and doing drugs.”

You can’t help but like him. He may be completely self-obsessed, but at least he has the grace to acknowledge it. (“I don’t think I’m Marc Bolan, but I like the fact that you might think that I think I’m Marc Bolan.”) And there’s something generous about the way he wants to give you everything he has to offer, whether you are a fan watching him preen on the stages of the world or a journalist wondering if, after an hour and a half of non-stop chat, he might feel like stopping soon. He is a rock star born in an age when being a rock star without a degree of irony is no longer viable.

“I started out in a band because it made me happy,” he concludes. “Then all this stuff happened, I got scared and I didn’t know why I was doing it any more until I remembered: because it makes me happy! This is my life. I would be selling flowers on Brent Cross roundabout if it weren’t for the 1975.”

#interview #matty healy #the 1975 #the times