#wait this is so emotional remember when he first realized to love is not 2 destroy bro 😠💕 cannot b doing this shit rn now he's out here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tojikai · 3 months

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Sundered 9: RESOLVE

Pairing: Gojo x reader

Genre: Angst

tags/cw: angst, babydaddy!gojo, babymomma!reader, motherhood, insecurities, arguments, mentions of abortion

word count: 7.8k

a/n: sorry, it took so long. i had problems lol mb

You can’t remember at what point everything started going right but you’re not complaining.

“I don’t think I can continue like this. I don’t think we should continue like this.”

“Like what?” You looked up at him, a look of worry filling your wide eyes. He stared down at you with an expression you can’t read. You felt his hands trail beside you, before cupping your cheeks, kissing your lips softly. “Toji, was I not-” And he was quick to quell you

“No, Y/N. It’s not on you, stop putting everything on yourself, baby.” He hates that the first thing you think when something fails is your fault. He hates that he’s making you feel like you’re the only one who needs to put in the work.

After your arguments, Toji’s been thinking that his emphasis on how you’re being pointlessly jealous of a dead person is why you think you’re the only one who has to make big adjustments. That’s probably why you think you have to put in the most effort to make this work.

“Then, what is it? I thought we were doing well, Toji.” The worried look on your face mixed with frustration as you took a step back from him, rubbing your face with your hands. “We are doing well, Y/N.” He was firm with his answer, and you know he’s telling the truth. But why? “We work so well together. But this isn’t the relationship we deserve.” He sighed.

“That doesn’t make sense, Toji.” You pursed your lips, emotions getting stronger. “If we work so well together, then how can you say that this isn’t what we deserve?” You sat on the bed, patiently waiting for an answer.

“We deserve to be in a relationship where we don’t have to remind ourselves how we should be constantly.” Toji mentally cursed himself for putting you in such a situation early in the morning but he doesn’t think he could sleep another peaceful night with everything in his mind.

“Relationships are things that flow naturally, Y/N. You do not do things just because you have to, or just because somebody told you to do it. You shouldn’t feel like you have to remind yourself what to do.” He breathed heavily, sounding as if he’d been practicing this in his head for a while now. “Is that how you feel with me?” You tried him, only to get the question back.

“Is that not how you feel with me?” Your silence answered his question. There was a pool of hot liquid in your eyes that you wouldn’t allow to fall. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Think of the strain that you’ve been putting on yourself, Y/N. Tell me you had not once thought of letting it all go even just for a second.”

A sob erupted from your throat; one that you didn’t see coming. It’s a thought you always choose to ignore because you really want to try hard for him, for this thing to work. Now, you understand when they say that sometimes it’s more painful to hold on than to let go.

As if getting burnt by holding on to a rope too tightly, hoping that the other end would stop pulling away.

But right now, Toji’s slowly being torn away from you. And you can’t do anything about this unbearable pain that feels like it could tear you apart; limb for limb. You realize that even if he doesn’t pull away, you’d still end up being hurt for this rope that you are holding on to is too far out of your reach.

“Toji… I don’t know, I thought I found something good with you. And now it just felt like I’m losing all of it like I’m losing—” Toji quickly shushed you, hugging you ever so tightly to him and it scared you. It almost felt like he was letting you memorize the comfort of his body against yours because this was the last time you’d be feeling it.

“You’re not losing me, love.” He consoled you and though, you can’t express it, the words brought you comfort. “I just don’t think we’re meant to be in this setup but that doesn’t mean you’re losing me.” And just like that, the pain was back again.

“Do I not deserve it?” You asked him, almost flinching at your words when you promised yourself you’d never ask anyone that. Toji sighed, taking both of your hands and bringing them to his lips. “Not this. You deserve more than this. You deserve to be genuinely happy without sacrificing anything, without feeling spent.”

You can’t remember, or more like you chose not to carve into your memory how that day ended. The only image you can see in your head is how he cuddled you to sleep, woke you up to eat with him and the kids, and went home. You remember him saying that they could always visit. And you hated yourself for doubting him.

“Mama, look it.” You heard your baby talking to you as she showed you the screen of your phone. It was Toji. It surprised you that you weren’t crying, or hurting as much as you thought you would. Maybe it’s because of the reassurance that you received from him.

And it’s not something like hoping that you’d be back together again but it’s more of a security that you didn’t just lose such a good man in your life; even as a friend. “Yeah?” You answered, pulling your toddler closer to you just as she started to move near the edge of the bed. “Just wanna know how you're doing.”

You chuckled, finding it funny that your now ex is calling you, indirectly checking if you’re still crying. It’s normal for him to expect that kind of thing but the difference between this and other breakups is that you actually ended on good terms and with valid reasons, seeking only the best for each other.

“I am a bit ok, surprisingly.” You answered, you heard a sigh from the other end of the line and a tiny laugh from Megumi, probably watching something on his iPad. You looked at your daughter, thinking if she’ll start looking for her little friend tomorrow and how you’re going to handle that.

“I’m sorry.” You rubbed your eyes, humming at his words. “This is for the best, I guess.” You spoke, remembering how you used to tell that to yourself when you found out that Satoru got himself a new girlfriend; throwing all his promises out the window and choosing to move forward away from you.

“You know Yui can still come over for play dates, right?” He spoke as if reading your mind. Toji knows of your concern about this matter as you expressed it earlier to him. Yui has spent a lot of time with Megumi and you know how she is with him because he’s her real first close friend.

“I won’t mind if she’ll be dropped off by Satoruf, he could even accompany her with you guys. I won’t mind, really. I know Megumi will ask for Yui.” He laughed lightly, patiently waiting for your answer, only to receive a hum.

“Y/N, you’re free to make decisions now—” You know that he’s talking about your reconciliation with Satoru but to be very honest, that’s not in your mind right now. You might be yearning for that whole family, and you can see Satoru’s progress but that doesn’t mean you can just bounce back like that.

“I don’t know, that’s not how I really feel, I think I should focus on building myself as an independent person for now.” You pursed your lips and you could just imagine him nodding his head to your words. “It’ll happen if it’s meant to happen.” You know that Yui needs her father, and you know that if she could talk to you right now, she’d probably wish for the two of you to be together with her.

But you want to know if this thing you’re feeling for Satoru is real or if it’s only because you longed to give your daughter that fulfillment. It’s not a bad thing to want that for her but you don’t know if you can handle another heartbreak for rushing things. “I’ll just let things be for now.” You added, sighing deeply.

The conversation with Toji went on for a couple of minutes before you said your goodbyes. You know it won’t be like this every night and that makes your chest squeeze but it’d only feel like forcing things if you asked him for that. You’ll move forward. Like you always do. Your child is growing and maybe it’s about time she learns something valuable from you.

—---------------------------------------

“Da!” The little girl squealed as her father entered your apartment. She got up and ran to him, almost tripping on one of her toys. “Careful. I’m not going away.” He picked her up, kissing her cheek. You closed the door behind you, rushing to kick away the things on the floor. It’s still a bit messy because you’re trying to get her ready for the day before you head to work.

“You’re early.” You spoke to him, watching them sit on the couch. “I’m…uh, cooking something. Have you had breakfast?” You bite your top lip as you turn away from them. “I had coffee.” Yui was trying to put a clip on his hair, laughing when she thought she got it done. “Come, eat with us, then.” You picked your daughter up, heading to the kitchen.

“Mama! ‘Gumi?” You put her in her chair, sighing lightly at the mention of her playmate. It has been almost three weeks and you still haven’t told Satoru about what happened with Toji and you. He’s not asking either, but you can tell he’s curious, eyeing you as he enters the small kitchen.

“He’s at daycare. Maybe next week, when Mama’s not busy, alright?” You spoke, placing the food in front of her, and pressing on the plate to make sure that it was stuck on the surface. “Haven’t seen them around.” Satoru cleared his throat, playing it cool as he didn’t want to seem like he was intruding into your “love life.”

“They, uh, they won’t be around so much anymore.” You put the plates on the table, tucking a hair behind your ear as you turned. Satoru pursed his lips, not wanting to pry any longer but the next sentence made his eyebrows raise. “We kinda…Toji and I broke up. So, if not for the kids, we won’t-“

“Since when?” If it was before Satoru would probably be thinking about how this is a chance for him but right now, as he sat on that kitchen table, all he could feel was worry. He thinks that you really love Toji and he became your rock during the times when your baby daddy’s acting up.

“Almost three weeks ago. It’s, uh, nothing too heavy. The relationship just became too much.” Satoru doesn’t know if it’s right for him to say “sorry.” He’s scared that it might break you and he doesn’t want to see you cry again.

He made you cry many times and he hated himself for it. He can’t help but feel like any anger he might harbor towards Toji would be… invalid. “I didn't think dating when you both already have kids would be so different than when you don’t.” You chuckled half-heartedly.

“We just don’t think it could stand in the long run, so…” You shrugged, finally sitting down after you placed the glass pitcher on the table. You peeked at Satoru, attempting to read the expression on his face.

“Look, I know Yui’s always been our priority but if you need a bit of time for yourself, you know you can leave Yui with me.” He cracked his knuckles, not sure of how to help you with this. “You should take a break from work, if you think that’s what you need, I will-“ You placed a hand on his arm, stopping him.

There’s not much he can offer that wouldn’t make it look like he’s trying to take advantage of the situation. That’s the last thing he wants you to think. He thought you were a bit gloomy during the past couple of weeks and assumed it was just a lover’s quarrel or something.

“Thanks. But it’s alright. We’re good, we’re just…not dating anymore.” You let out a laugh, retracting your hand away as you reached for the towel to wipe your daughter’s food-stained cheek. “Megumi and Yui still play together, I mean they’re besties now, right?” Yui giggled at the mention of her friend.

“That’s nice, he’s her first friend.” Satoru smiled genuinely. Aside from Yui’s occasional babbles, Satoru and you ate in silence. Eating together at your home is beginning to become a normal, regular thing now. And for some reason, it doesn’t worry you anymore.

Getting Yui ready took a bit more time than it should have when she wanted her Dad to pick her clothes. Of course, none of you could say no. You quickly brought out your phone to take a photo of her and her father, holding hands as they stood before the clothes she took out of her drawer.

“It’s chilly. You can’t wear that.” You commented on the shirt she brought out. With a pout on her lips, she continued to pull on her clothes. “We’ll pair it with something. Yeah?” Satoru consoled her, earning a smile from the little girl. “I’ll make the two of you fold all of that.” You joked before turning to pick up a few scattered clothes.

You checked her bag one last time, counting all the things she needed in your mind. You can hear her laughing as Satoru struggles to put on her boots. She is the happiest when he’s in the house. You fear that she’ll soon start asking about why her father lives in a different house, unlike most kids.

“You don’t have to worry so much if she left something. We’ll probably be here tomorrow, you know how she is.” Satoru laughed, lifting the child. It’s true that even during the days when she’s supposed to be with her dad, she still asks him to see you. There was one time when they showed up at your work and everybody thought that you’re back together.

“It could be something important.” You sighed, leaning in to give your daughter a kiss. “Be good.” She nodded her head, wiggling her brows in the process, knowing that it never fails to make you laugh. Satoru can’t help but stare, statued by how close you are to each other; paralyzed by the fact that this could’ve been better if he never did what he did.

“Don’t forget the face creams at night, please.” You reminded him, stepping away as you locked eyes. “Of course.” He took the bag, walking towards the door with you trailing closely behind them. “Buh-bye!” She waved at you from her car seat. You watched as Satoru made sure it was locked before closing the door behind him.

“See you in a few days, Mama.” He spoke playfully, and you know that he’s just trying to say it for your daughter but it made your heart swell for some reason, a blush forcing its way to your cheek. This has been happening a lot with him, even when you were still with Toji. You tried to convince yourself that you were just “caught off guard.”

Work kept you busy for the whole day. It wasn’t long until you found yourself on your couch, smiling at the video Satoru sent you. Yui was holding an elephant bowl full of ice cream, focused on the movie playing on the screen. Their matching lilac pajamas made everything more adorable. After sending a reply, you put your phone down.

Days and weeks went by fast. Megumi and Yui played at the park together last week. You thought it’d be awkward but it was pretty much the same with Toji minus the intimacy. He was still chill to be with and he was still very caring towards you. And you admired him for all of it.

“I ran into them at the mall once. I think they went toy shopping.” He spoke, looking over at the kids as they struggled to understand how to make the seesaw work on their own. “Oh yeah, he mentioned that one time.” You replied, before giving a warning to your daughter who’s now so ready to climb the metal board.

Your mind went back to the image of Satoru coming in with boxes and bags, and a little kid trailing behind him, holding on to the hem of his jacket. He couldn’t even carry her because of everything but she was overjoyed, showing off her new stuff.

“You can’t leave all that here. Her room isn’t big, Satoru.” You sighed, picking your daughter up, “You already have so many toys.” You reminded her but she wasn’t listening at all. “It’s alright, I’ll bring them to my house,” Satoru spoke as he put them on the couch.

Sometimes you wonder if you’ll ever save up enough to get a bigger space for you and Yui. Satoru once brought it up, offering help but you don’t want that. You’re not together, so to you, being able to provide and improve on your own for your daughter is a goal. You trust that things’ll get better for you, even if you’re alone.

“You two working it out?” Toji's voice brought you out of your memory. You looked at him for a couple of seconds, and he just stared back at you, like he just asked the most normal question an ex could ask. “N-no. He’s not even trying, I mean he never even explicitly tried to show any hint. I doubt that any of us are thinking about that right now.” You rambled and he just nodded.

You didn’t mean to blurt out something like that so casually. But in all honesty, that made you more comfortable and less tense about all of this. He doesn’t make you feel awkward at all. He doesn’t make you feel like you’re stuck in your past with him. It’s almost as if he’s just been a friend, a very close one, all this time.

There was a moment of easy silence between the two of you. You can only hear the noises from the other kids and the two in front of you. But it wasn’t long until it was broken by Toji. “He loves you, you know?” You feel like even the sound of your breaths paused. “I’m not saying that you should force yourself to try again with him. I just want you to know that Satoru genuinely loves you.”

Thinking about it now, you realize that you and Toji never really talked like this about your relationship with Satoru before. It’s always just the problems and the past that you always claimed to be only bitter memories now.

Toji leaned back on the chair, not caring if you were answering or not. He’s good at sensing the atmosphere, and you’re not in a way bothered by the topic. You were surprised to hear it from him, of course, but you don’t feel troubled at all.

“Satoru and I had a talk once, just the two of us. I was expecting less from him due to how he treated you before.” He crossed his arms on his chest, eyes wandering as he recalled, “But he was so sure with his words, I was kind of taken aback.” He chuckled, and you wondered what his exact words were.

“No offense, but I feel like that was the only time I really looked at him as a man; a grown man.” He laughed, shaking his head in amusement. “I know 'cause I’ve been there.” He nodded, sounding softer and you just know who he’s thinking about. “The resolve; the determination in him even when he knows that it’s impossible.”

“He has to work on a lot of things. He’s got so much to reflect on.” You sighed, unsure of how to react, not because you rejected the information but because it got your heart drumming in your chest. “We gotta grow as individuals. And if we’re meant to be together, it’s…it’ll happen on its own.” You chuckled, swallowing dryly.

You don’t know if that scares you or excites you for the future. But you know that it’s gonna be so much better than before.

—---------------------------------------

6 Months Later

“Mama why? Mama why?” You heard Satoru laugh loudly at your daughter's words. She’s been repeating the same words over and over since you started getting her ready. Her hair was up extra nice today and she’s staring at her gown hanging near the dresser.

“Mama whats go on? Huh, Mama?” She asked again, sending Satoru into another fit of laughter. “Baby, I’ve been saying. It’s Yui Day today. Your birthday.” You smiled at her kindly, securing the cute hair clips on her head. “I don’t think she’s fully taken any of this in.” Satoru sat on her bed, looking at the two of you.

Her grandfather volunteered to take care of the preparations at Satoru’s house. The helpers arrived early in the morning and Satoru left him there to pick the two of you up and to help get his little girl ready. You’re still in your house clothes and you’re not even a step closer to being ready.

“Go take a shower, I got her.” Satoru arrived just as you were fixing Yui’s hair. “Okay, the shoes are over there. Put the headband on after the dress so it won’t mess up her hair.” You reminded him as you stood up. “Yes, Ma’am.” The little girl jumped towards him pointing at her dress. You stepped out and got ready as quickly as you can.

You were supposed to wear the dress you bought the other week. It wasn’t much and you were worried that it might not look that good, especially with the guests that will come over. You didn’t want to look cheap but you wanted to save so you went for something that goes in the middle.

To your surprise, when Satoru brought Yui’s gown and shoes, he got another set with him. You thought it was for some outfit change but he soon revealed, albeit shyly, that he thought the dress matched the theme of your daughter’s party so he got it for you. It was a designer dress and a pair of shoes.

“I’d…I’ll pay for this, alright? I can’t just—” He cut you off with a close-lipped smile and a gentle sight. “Y/N, I know it’s hard to accept this but I already had lots of shortcomings with you and Yui. This doesn’t mean anything, don’t worry. I’m not trying to, you know, I just want you to feel your best during our daughter’s birthday.” He spoke, nervousness still clear in his voice.

“B-but you’re free to decline it if you don’t feel comfortable, sorry, I can take it back to the—” This time you cut him off with a laugh, “I’m sorry this is just so… expensive. I don’t know how to feel if I just openly accept it from you.” You placed the box on the table behind you, sitting down in hopes of changing the atmosphere.

“Okay, then…just consider this as a gift since I, uh, failed to get you one on your last birthday.” He breathed out the last part as if it was a heavy feeling in his chest that he couldn’t push past his lips. It isn’t as heavy as it was to you though.

Your last birthday was painful to remember, probably the worst one you had ever since you were born even if you never had a big celebration your whole life aside from when you were with Satoru. Last year, your birthday was on the same day as Satoru’s co-parenting schedule.

That time you were hoping that he and Yui would celebrate it with you. But that morning, he came in with Naomi. With hickeys peeking from his jacket, messy hair, and swollen lips, they picked Yui up. You remember your daughter babbling about “Mama day” in a much less understood baby talk that Naomi still caught.

“Oh, is it your birthday? She said ‘mama day’, right?” Her bright eyes shined at you, dimples showing as she smiled but it didn’t lessen the ache in your chest. “Oh, sorry. Happy birthday.” Satoru spoke, proceeding to take his daughter’s belongings. “We should’ve picked Yui up in the afternoon so, they could spend time together.” She suggested, laughing awkwardly.

“What time did you book the Children’s Museum trip?” Satoru halted, his back turned to you. You were about to interrupt, afraid that you were starting to look too pitiful for the lovebirds in front of you and your child. “It starts at 10:00.” She spoke, adjusting the toddler on her hip. “It’s 9:19.” Satoru read his watch, biting his lips with his eyebrows scrunched together.

“We can’t really leave her now, the Children’s Museum isn’t open every day. You can…uh—” He tried to think, turning to you but you can’t take it anymore. “N-no. It’s alright. You—Yui have fun, baby, alright? We’ll go out when you’re back home.” You waved at the child and her smile soothed you. Almost.

“Happy birthday, Y/N, sorry.” Naomi smiled, avoiding your eyes and you hated it. You hated that she felt sorry for you. You hated that they felt sorry for you. “Enjoy your day.” She added, turning around as she urged your daughter to wave again. “We’ll get going, sorry again. Happy birthday.” He spoke lowly, earning a fake smile and a nod from you.

You closed the door before you could even see him put his hand on her waist and guide them to his car. It was supposed to be. That should be the three of you. You wiped the stray tear that fell from your eyes with the back of your hand. That day, you stayed at home, slept until your mother came and brought food, and refused to tell her the story.

That night you stayed awake, wondering how many falls a heart can take before it turns to dust, never to be recovered again.

“Done?” Satoru’s voice brought you back to reality. Your eyes flickered to the reflection of the door in the mirror. You were about to respond when the door burst open, and your child trudged in, almost falling as she squealed. “Mama! Pretty Mama!” She pulled at her skirt, turning. “Wow, lovely. You’re so beautiful, baby!” You cooed at her as she hugged your robe-covered waist.

“Dada put this. Dada! This!” You can tell how excited she is by how she shows off everything; from her headband to her anklets and shoes. She even shows it to her father even if he’s the one who dressed her up. You chuckled in amusement, all the pain numbed as your eyes focused on the present.

You looked over at Satoru who tries to look everywhere but you. Your hair’s still wet from the shower, and you’re still in your robe, all bare underneath and you can’t believe it took you this long to realize that. “You’re so pretty, how about we take pictures downstairs? Or with your toys?” He tried to convince her, wanting to give you time to dress up.

“Mama come!” She pulls at you, “Mama has to wear her pretty dress too, so you’ll be twins.” Satoru quickly picked her up, smiling at you as her daughter babbled excitedly, allowing him to distract her as he closed the door behind them. You turned to look at yourself in the mirror once more, drying your hair quietly.

Thinking back on what Toji said, you can’t just believe them after everything Satoru has done.

—---------------------------------------

You can feel Satoru’s light touch as the three of you pose for the final picture of the day before the party ends. It has been such a long day. Yui happily walked around, clapping at the guests when they sang her a birthday song; quite the opposite of what you thought would happen. You and Satoru received a lot of statements and questions as you were greeting the visitors too.

“Oh, you’re back together again, that’s great!” His aunt said to which he quickly answered with a chuckle, “I’d love that, but no.” You smiled at the old lady, thankful for the understanding face rather than pushing.

“I knew you’d be back to Y/N!” His cousin winked at you, raising a fist bump which you couldn’t really reject. Satoru nodded his head, glancing at you awkwardly at how loud the man was being “When did you guys get back together?” He elbowed him like he was so sure of the information.

“We’re not…really back together. We’re…This is co-parenting.” Satoru took Yui from you. “Say hi.” And that’s how he changed that topic. He met Yui once when she was a baby and to say that he was mesmerized by how much she looked like Satoru now is an understatement. “How did you manage to turn yourself into a little girl.” He and Satoru laughed and you excused yourself to greet some of your relatives who attended.

“I would be mad but, oh well, anything that makes that little doll happy.” Your grandma sighed, smiling as she hugged you. “We’re not back together. I’ll bring her here in a bit.” You muttered, pulling at your dress. “That’s a nice dress you have, it looks expensive, honey.” Your mother complimented.

“Yeah, Satoru got it…f-for me. So, uh, we could match the theme. He organized this.” You smiled nervously, worried at how her eyebrows raised. “I’ll be back, Mom.” You added with a little wave before going back to Satoru and Yui who were now looking at you in distress as she got taken by Satoru’s friend.

“Don’t take him back.” was Shoko’s first words to you as you reached them, making the whole table and you laugh. “Stop it.” Satoru grunted, “Give me my kid back if you’re going to be like that.” He rolled his eyes playfully before meeting yours. “He’s still far from that.” You replied, making them laugh again. Satoru knows that you aren’t joking at all.

It’s funny how the people around you have different views regarding reconciliation with him. And you, you don’t want to think of it. Or more like you’re scared to think of it.

Because you fear that deep in your heart, you still yearn for all of it.

“Yui!” A voice called and when you turned around it was Megumi in his cut little outfit that almost matched Yui’s dress. “Oh gosh, you’re so cute ‘Gumi!” You cooed, hugging the little boy. He would look down at his shirt and back at you as if to show it off. Your eyes wandered around for Toji and you found him speaking to your Mother. You smiled as he waved at you.

“I didn’t see you guys come in.” You spoke as you got close to them. “Sorry, we’re a bit late. He wanted to get another gift.” Toji laughed, nodding at Megumi’s direction who was now walking towards your table with Satoru and Yui. “Thanks for coming.” Satoru encouraged, a little awkwardly.

“Megumi wouldn’t miss his best friend’s birthday.” Toji reached over to fix his son's clothes. You stayed for a bit to talk with Toji and your mom, Satoru took the kids to the photo booth to play with the other kids at the party.

And now you’re walking the last few of the helpers out the door, thanking them for the smooth flow of the event. Yui already fell asleep on Satoru’s shoulder, just like her little friend. Toji went home with a sleepy Megumi who refused to get carried by his dad and insisted on walking despite the constant stumbling.

Thanking Satoru’s Dad before he heads home, he gives the two of you a piece of advice: “I hope you two are not thinking too much of what to do with what you have.” You both didn’t know what to say. You don’t even get it at first but when he spoke again, it all made sense.

“It will happen if it’s meant to happen. Like before. When you were blessed with this angel.” He softly stroked Yui’s cheek, chuckling when her nose twitched. “Well, that’s all. You’re both doing just great. Satoru, stop worrying about the things with your mom. Leave that to me.” With that, he bid goodbye and left.

You had to stop yourself from being too curious about what happened with Satoru and his mother. All that you know is that he broke up with Naomi and you thought that she probably tried to stop him, of course. What’s bugging you is the fact that his father had to comfort him about it. Would it be too much to ask?

“Let’s go inside.” He ushered, adjusting his daughter in his arms and patting her head as she wiggled a little before going back to sleep. “I’m glad we hired helpers. I don’t think I can handle cleaning after all of that.” He laughed, carefully sitting on the couch. “I don’t know how celebrities do meet and greets. I feel so drained.” You agreed sitting down on the loveseat.

“I can’t believe she’s three now. It’s like she was still so tiny a few months ago.” His whispers were low; gentle. You could hear all the love in his voice and the tired yet contented look on his face as he gazed lovingly at his child. She could be getting a sibling now, but you fucked around. You caught yourself thinking, biting your lip at the realization of how silly you’re being.

After a short conversation, Satoru decided to put her in her bed. You’re sure that she’ll be awake in an hour or two. You agreed to stay the night here since you considered that Yui might want to open her gifts by the end of the party. She already opened some earlier due to curiosity but got distracted multiple times and ended up forgetting about them.

“Oh, shit.” You whispered, rummaging through the baby bag with her feet on your lap. You were trying to clean her a little but you ran out of wipes and you forgot to put the extra pack due to the rush this early morning. You carefully placed her feet down to get up and find Satoru. You saw him in his front yard, putting away some things that had been used earlier.

“Does she have wet wipes here? The one in her bag ran out.” You asked him, stepping out of the house. “Yeah, it’s in my bedside drawer, do you mind getting it?” He spoke, carrying a foldable table to the other end of the yard, “Okay.” You found his bedroom door ajar and let yourself in.

Did he specify which one? There are two bedside tables. You went to the closest one, opening the first drawer. You knew you were looking for the wipes and that’s why you came here, you mentally noted that anything in here does not concern you and thus, must not be meddled with.

But right now you’re staring at the brown envelope with a hospital address and a name with the “MD, OB-GYN” title plastered on it. You don’t have to have a degree to understand that. You can feel your heart slowly picking up a pace as you think of all the possible meanings of it.

Was Naomi pregnant and they decided to abort it? Did Satoru make her do it? What if he made her do it because of the fact that he still wants to be with you? You can’t really do anything if that’s why but it makes you feel…accountable. Is this why they broke up on bad terms that even his mother doesn’t want to see him anymore?

The envelope was staring back at you and you can’t help but feel like touching it; opening it. You can get your answer right now if you just read what’s inside this quickly. You won’t have to think about all of this anymore. The voice in your head silenced the approaching footsteps and the sound of Satoru’s voice calling your name.

A shadow was cast upon you and the paper. You looked up to see Satoru staring at the envelope with slightly wide eyes. He quickly closed the cabinet, swallowing as he avoided your eyes. “Sorry, I forgot to mention.” He moved away to get the wipes from the other drawer. “It-it’s here.” He walked quickly, urging you to get moving. “Let’s go before she wakes up—”

“What was that, Satoru?” You don’t care how this made you sound as you grabbed his arm preventing him from leaving the room. He wouldn’t have reacted that way; he wouldn’t have disregarded the matter if it wasn’t something to be hidden. Why did he look so alarmed that you saw it? Like you’re not supposed to know about it.

“It was an old test, I forgot to throw it away.” He rasped, staring at your lips; staring everywhere but your eyes. “I know how to read. The date it was delivered shouldn’t be far from the day the test was done, right?” You half blinked, breathing in as you told yourself to calm down. You don’t know how you’d feel if he told you that’s none of your business.

“Was Naomi pregnant when you broke up with her?” Your voice was a bit more steady, “No.” He sounded small and you could tell that whatever was going on inside his head wasn’t easy to verbalize. “Then, what’s there to hide about it?” You don’t need him to tell you, you could tell that you weren’t supposed to see that.

“I fear that I might be getting a little too overconfident about your feelings for me but—” You lowered your eyes, embarrassed at how that sounded and a bit thankful for being cut off. “She was never pregnant. Sh-she tried…while I was intoxicated. I got her examined.” Satoru rambled, obviously triggered by your words.

“She what?” You looked at him, brows furrowed and eyes wide, finding it hard to believe the assumption in your head. “I got drunk. She…she tried to…” He walked towards that drawer, pulling out the envelope and the paper inside.

“Y/N, read it. I couldn't… I didn’t want to tell you. I didn’t want to vent about this to you because that’s all I’ve been doing, I just want to give you all the good now. I’ll try, Y/N, I promise.” At this point, you don’t even know what he’s trying to explain to you but the welling tears in his eyes and the coldness of his fingers against your skin was enough to pull you to him.

The papers were dropped to the floor as you held him to you. His head was bowed down as he cried on your shoulder as if this was the first day he was allowed to cry about this; as if this was the first time he could hold on to someone while the fear, anger, and shame tore him to pieces.

He held onto you as he sobbed his heart out after holding it all in for so long.

He doesn’t deserve this. No matter what he did or said, Satoru doesn’t deserve this. After everything, you can see how much he’s trying. Despite not being promised anything, he’s giving his all. It wouldn’t be easy to forget and it won’t be easy to trust. But the love you feel for this man comes too naturally to be contained.

“You didn’t deserve that…” You hushed him, hearing him blame himself was shattering. Does his mother know? Why did she disappear as well? What really happened? “Satoru, what happened with your Mom?” His breath hitches. The grown man in the room is now in the form of a child, looking for a hand to hold.

“She knew about it.” His cheeks were wet and his eyes bloodshot as he looked up, running his fingers through his hair. You thought there was something wrong that day. But you didn’t think it could be this bad. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t want to ruin this day, this is our baby girl’s day, I shouldn’t have-“

“Satoru, don’t talk like that. That’s beyond your control.” His breaths were shaky. You doubt that even his closest friends knew about this. “My dad and I placed a restraining order against them. I can’t look at those people the same way anymore.” His eyes were closed as he took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think about what you’d feel or think if you accidentally found out…like now. I should’ve explained earlier.” He was referring to your assumptions earlier. “I know it’s hard. I’m sorry, I jumped to conclusions.” You don’t know how long the two of you were staring into each other’s eyes but a voice took you out of the little world that you share.

“Mama…” A cute, sleepy voice called out from outside of the bedroom. “I’ll get her. Calm your mind, Satoru. It’s over. We’re here.” You have no idea how big of an impact those words had on Satoru. He almost wanted to cry again, to pull you close and cry to you again.

To see your back walking out of this bedroom door, but this time with the promise of being on the other side, waiting.

He sat there for a few more minutes, releasing all the heaviness in his chest before getting up to wash his face. Leaning on the doorframe of his daughter’s room, he saw you putting on her little sweaters as you sat barefoot on the floor. “Gumi sing me.” The child spoke with enthusiasm. “He did? What did he sing?” You encouraged, fixing her clothes.

“Can you sing me a song too?” He interrupted, walking in to sit down with you. It was all it took for Satoru to forget what happened earlier. Eating at home with the two of you always feels like an answered prayer. After that, you helped the child open her gifts until way past her sleeping hours.

Walking you to the guest room felt like the first time you lived together; awkward yet heartwarming. Of course, no boundaries were crossed. He wouldn’t try. And you won’t allow it. At least he got to wish you a good night and sweet dreams again.

—---------------------------------------

Days, weeks, and months went by fast. It’s already been 4 months since Yui’s birthday and now you’re walking with her and Satoru at a grocery store. “Yui, this is for the stuff we will buy, this is not a stroller.” You explained as she tried to get Satoru to put her in the pushcart.

He wasn’t supposed to be with you here but it’s Yui’s pick-up day and you decided that you need to get some stuff. Satoru asked if he and Yui could join you since he doesn’t have anything planned except for an early movie night with his little girl. “You’re not a little baby anymore.” She hit Satoru’s chest as he pouted teasingly at her.

“Hey. We don’t hit.” You talked to her sternly, making her put her head on her father’s chest, whispering an almost inaudible apology. “Satoru, do not let her hit you, she’ll get used to doing that.” You reminded him, knowing that he can’t ever scold his baby girl.

“Yes, Ma’am.” He replied absentmindedly, bouncing the kid in his arms to get her to laugh. These days, you’ve been getting comfortable with things like this. You’ve been getting comfortable with compliments like “Oh you make cute babies” from old people who take a liking to your daughter.

You’ve been getting comfortable with Satoru pushing the cart for you as you look for what you need, reaching for the items on the top shelf, carrying your bags for you, and driving you home as you sit in the passenger seat.

Like right now.

“Her sleeping schedule got a lot better when she changed her vitamins, yeah?” You responded to Satoru with a hum as you chewed on your fries, handing a piece to your daughter as she kicked on her car seat. “Her doctor recommended that. I’m glad it works, she used to get up so early.” The car stopped in front of your apartment.

“Would you like to stay? I’ll be cooking.” You won’t deny that this isn’t the first time you asked, “I’d love to stay.” And this isn’t the first time he agreed. You don’t know why but you didn’t budge from the passenger seat, knowing that Satoru was rushing to open the door for you. You went to your baby and took her inside, not worrying about your things and the groceries you bought.

You can’t remember the last time it felt awkward with Satoru lying on your couch with your daughter. You also can’t remember how he had a pair of spare house slippers for him here. Walking past the fridge, you saw a photo of Yui and Megumi from their recent pool party.

Satoru came to pick you and Yui up but you ended up staying for another hour. You can’t remember when Toji and Satoru shed a noticeable amount of awkwardness around them. At one point, you even heard them talking about business like they didn’t try to rip each other’s heads off when they first met.

You can’t remember at what point everything started going right but you’re not complaining.

“Where’s her choccy-juice?” Satoru mimicked Yui’s words, laughing. “I told her we were about to eat in a few minutes but she won’t listen.” Taking the chocolate milk from the fridge, he stood beside you to fulfill his daughter’s request. “She’s not supposed to have a lot of that.” You sighed, “I’ll just let her have a taste so she’ll stop.” His voice sounded so much softer now.

“Dada!” She came running to the kitchen, holding onto Satoru’s leg as she tried to have a peek at what you were cooking. “Wanna see? Here’s your choccy.” He lifted her, letting her hold the sippy cup as they watched you cook. “Hmm…” Both you and Satoru can’t help but laugh at her reaction.

You don’t know if it’s because a lot of things happened but they all feel like distant memories; some of which you can’t even clearly see in the back of your mind. Satoru felt like a new man and along with this, the pain of your past continuously fades away each time you see his face.

You don’t want to name the feeling yet but, you know that all that’s meant to happen will happen.

Like it did when you had Yui. Like it did when you got sundered. Like it did when you tried with different people. Like it does now, as you slowly, steadily fall back together.

PREV | ALT. Ending

taglist: @forever-war @astral-hydromancy @witchbybirth @starshinedowo @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn @lost-lonnie @haitanifxn @dearsunaa @clairdelunaax @anxious-chick @tigerchaeee @gingerspicelattemix @tsukkisrightpinky @crowiechan @makimais @infinitemoonlight @iloveblogging2 @cloudsinthecosmos @uchiwife @bellaadonnas @lawlietily @lilxnvm @poopoobuttsy @yihona-san06 @luhvbot @sagekko @asbony @uhremmi

@kurookinnie @why-am-i-here-again-shitheads @galaxyfever @guenievresworld @y2kcy3brz @chocokaylarobin @hopeannalea @shizuuuuuuuu @tojirin @teapartyspilled @ackermendick @shadowarchon @vinkiesz @awkwardaardvarkforever @nvvacanesworld @wolffmaiden @underburningstars @rntrsuna @vampgguk @doulcha @creolequeen11210 @reosnagi

#angst #gojo angst #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo satoru angst #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen angst #jjk #jjk x reader

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nkogneatho · 7 months

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۪۫❁ུ۪۪𝐖𝐄𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐌𝐄𝐍 °࿐

—a/n: first thing i wrote after hiatus so still a bit rusty but i tried my best to deliver my emotions. If this gets good response, I'll do part 2. Not proofread. fem!reader

#mlist #taglist #art commissions

𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎.𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐕𝐎𝐖𝐒

For someone who's so confident, Satoru for the first time found himself anxious, legs trembling in the wonderment of what his bext action should be. He was standing at the altar in his neat pale grey suit. All eyes were fixated on him. But that's not what made him nervous. It was how he would react when he sees you. And just then, you appeared like the fragment of his best intentions.

The wedding band started playing the theme. Your white flowy satin dress dancing to the rhythm of the wind. Your beautiful face concealed a little from the veil. You looked so perfect. And just when you finally reached the altar, you stood parallel to him, smiling and satisfied with his reaction. You've never seen him so engorged in something—or someone.

The minister asked him to proceed with the vows.

"Y/N L/N. I usually am the one to talk a lot. But for the first time, I am short of words." You smiled at him.

"I think it's crazy how I see you everyday, but somehow you still manage to take my breath away with how beautiful you are. I know I call myself the honored one...but trust me darling, I am nothing but a fish in your ocean. You...you are my everything. And when I say that, I mean it. I want you to know that if the world is ever against you, I'll be in the front protecting you with all I have. I love you so much, baby." It feels like he's choking on his words.

This man that just said thst he's at loss for words, proceeded to make you tear up with a poetry. You've never been love so much in life. It feels unreal. But you know it's all true when as soon as you say "I do" his lips are on yours, reminding that every touch you feel is real.

𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄

The hall was decorated with white lillies and tulips that you loved so much. People grooving and chattering to the background music. Soon it was time for the moment you've been waiting for. The dance. Your first dance with Geto. The lights dimmed and the spotlight hit the floor as you and Suguru walked into the bright refraction on the floor. The crowd dispersing away to give the newly married couple their full attention.

One of his hands was on your waist while the other intertwined one of yours.

Put your head on my shouuulder...

You both smiled wide as you couldn't have asked for a better song. This was the song that you once told Geto you'd like to dance to. Since then, he remembered to play twirl you around to Paul Anka at every occasion. And this one had to be the best one yet.

Hold me in your arms, baby...

He mouthed the words and you couldn't help but giggle. Suguru doesn't usually sing but he has this deep voice that blend perfectly to the song. It sounds like heaven.

"Get ready to dance to this every anniversary, my love," he whispered.

The room was filled with so many people. Yet, when your eyes recasted your signature "i love you" look, he suddenly felt the world disappear, and only you two exist.

That's when he realized, he really did get lucky when you fell in love with him.

𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍

As always, you woke up late. It's surprising how Toji looks like the one who'd be irresponsible when it's actually you. But hey! He can't complain about it. Weddings and Receptions are tiring. If he could, he'd let you sleep for one whole day if you didn't have a flight to catch. You quickly got dressed and rushed to the airport with your man.

The flight was awful since you were irritated by the snorer next to you. Trust me. You wanted to stuff the macadamia nuts in his nostrils but Toji stopped you from doing so. He had a better and more rational solution of putting headphones over your ears and playing you your favorite song. Your lips widened when his thumb started circling your thighs to calm you and make you relax.

Upon arriving to the hotel, you finally took a big stretch to wash all the tiredness away.

"IT'S HONEYMOON TIME, BABY!!"

You jumped in excitement and pretty much everyone at the entrance was staring at you and Toji. He won't stop you though. He loves watching you dance around everytime you're happy.

You both walked towards the receptionist, with Toji carrying all the luggage. Gotta use the big beefy man privilege baby.

"Good afternoon. How may I help you?"

"Good afternoon. We reserved a suite here a week ago."

"Okay. May I please know the name you reserved it under?" she asked.

"Oh it's Mr. And Mrs. Fushiguro." The moment those words left your lips, Toji felt his world shift. He knew that you were a Fushiguro whenyou signed the marriage certificate. He knew it when you said "I do" at the altar. He knew it when he placed the ring on your finger. But hearing it from your mouth made him have butterflies in his stomach. Wow. You are really his. He couldn't for one second believe it.

"So this is how heaven feels like," he mumbled.

"You said something, baby?"

"Oh nothing, my love. Just that you're beautiful "

"I'm running in four hours of sleep. My under eyes are darker than your black shirt," you whispered.

"I don't know what you're talking about. You're still the most beautiful person to exist," he argued and you just rolled your eyes. You genuinely wanted to know how he manages to find you beautiful at every occasion.

"Are you in denial?"

"No, darling. I am in love."

Taglist: @sugurini @princess-okkotsu @saturnsoups @cookingforsatoru @oldbutnotold @rin-vana @bimbno @arisaturn @tojigasam @bxrnthyfears @gojoxxluv @seqeva @nanamikentoseyebags @stariwrites @sluttoru @lvmxn @greycaelum @kokonoiscoconut @deskaisers @icyowl @thesimphouse @anxious-chick @monimonieee @sweet-yzabelle @keichartreusely @arguablyferal @kannra21 @bbytamaki @rwibbnz @ta-ni-ya @mamayan @strawwbee @jesi-pinkman @fueledbysano @psychiccloudobject @baewriites @wystericwoes @his-saiko

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fadingsnow · 5 months

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𓆙 london boy - CORIOLANUS SNOW x f! reader

summary and tw: coryo grovels at your feet, begging for forgiveness after years. pt. 2 of cardigan loveliess!! 18+, smut, mr. snow kinda basically bends u over on ur table?? a/n: uh sorry for making it a lil sad in the beginning but snow prevailss, divider credits : @cafekitsune

taglist: @targaryenmoony 𓆙

He fell down onto the sofa, letting his head sink down against the pillows. Still, after five years, you plagued his thoughts. Tapping his fingers against his thighs, he didn't know what to do.

You hid yourself from him, not wanting to deal with all of the emotions behind his betrayal. You were able to find a quaint job, meeting the line of being able to finance yourself barely. Atleast you had a trust fund from your family, one of the benefits of the Capitol you suppose.

The one time, the one time, you decide to come back without any information on what was happening, you see him. You had heard small bits of Coriolanus' life from Tigris, but refusing for her to tell him she was in contact with you.

He still wore the same pin you gave him for his birthday. You remember his sombre look clearly, eyebrows furrowed and pursed lips. He didn't like being reminded of it, his mind forcing him to realize he had passed yet another year of his.. situation. You had gotten to work, spending days on it. You weren't that good of an artist, but you were able to engrave, "Snow lands on top." Clearly he did.

You really could go anywhere you wanted, but home. But now you had returned. You still considered him home. You thought this over, murmuring to yourself about how everything had changed. Did he still think of Lucy Gray? Did he even feel remorse - or guilt when he thought of you?

A knock at the door makes you jump out of your thoughts. What could it be now? You looked around the place in frustration, your rented apartment for now. You weren't sure how long you were going to stay, just going to meet some family and leave immediately.

You walked up to the door, getting on your tippy toes to look through the peep hole. At first, you saw whitish-blonde hair. Could it be Tigris? She never mentioned anything about visiting today.. You squinted your eyes, did you see the wrong Snow?

"Is anyone home?" You froze, stopping any movement. The click in your heart was pushed. If he couldn't hear your heartbeat, he must've been deaf. You went to sit down on your coach the quietest you could, trying to hide from what was happening. Hopefully, you were just going insane and imagining his voice. You told Tigris not to tell him where you were. You're going to have a lot of things to say to her when he leaves.

You waited a few minutes, only to check again and see that familiar face that you swore to not let yourself get attached to again. Your hand shakingly grasped the doorknob, going to unturn the locks. You couldn't run away forever. You should get it done and over with.

When you opened the door, you weren't sure what you should've expected. Furiosity? Sorrow? Joy?

You were greeted with someone you didn't know, Coriolanus Snow.

You stared at him in sheer surprise, not really knowing what to say. Should you shake his hand? Maybe that's strange considering the.. acquaintance you used to have.

He shuffled his feet, hands in pockets before he nodded towards your apartment. "May I come in?"

"Not like I can say no." You murmured, before fully opening the door. He stepped in, looking around anxiously because of you for the first time in his life.

He took this as his cue to go sit down, his hands pressed. "I want to apologize."

You scoffed, "Well, great. I forgive you." You didn't really want to deal with it anymore, trying to ignore the nagging feeling to listen to him.

"You can't see it? I'm still in love with you, not Lucy Gray. I regret it so much, I couldn't function. I dedicated those speeches all to you! Why the fuck would I care about how the Capitol was affected? I care about you! And now you're here, so please." He suddenly rose up, his desperation fuelling him to beg for you.

"And there's no way you don't want me back." He finally declared, his voice turning a little quiet now.

"And how do I know you won't do it again..?" You tried to forget him, you really did. His eyes never left yours, only a flutter of a blink made him turn his attention away from you.

"I love you, and I've known it for a long time. Since the Academy, I was too stupid to realize it. I let her get in between us, and for that, I'm sorry." He looked at the ground, what if you didn't forgive him?

Without thinking, you rushed to give him a tight embrace. Unabashed, you smelled him, and he still smelled the same. His hands went to wrap around your waist.

You hesistantly went up to kiss him. He eagerly returned the kiss back, but not wanting to scare you away. His lips were intoxicating just as much as you remembered. He broke into a grin, wanting to just bask in your essence.

He managed to murmur between breaths, "More?" His hands moving up to cup your face, tracing along your jawline and down your neck. His fingers trailed lightly over your bare shoulder before stopping at the hem of your dress, teasingly brushing against your exposed thigh.

You mumbled a yes, looking up at him.

He leaned in closer, their bodies pressed against each other intimately as he deepened the kiss, his tongue tentatively exploring your mouth. His hands moved higher up your thighs, reaching for the hem of your skirt.

His hands gripped your waist tightly as he lifted you up onto the nearest table, bodies pressing against each other intimately. The kiss became more aggressive, tongues tangling together in a dance of desire. He broke away for a moment, panting heavily. "C'mon..." he panted, reaching down to finally unfasten your skirt, revealing your lacy black underwear. "You're mine now."

"Tell me you want this," he murmured lowly, his voice husky with desperation.

"I do, Coryo. You know I do."

He hurriedly pulled it off, before slowly taking off his underwear. He took no time to tell you to spit on his hand.

"What..?" You squeaked out.

"Spit." Reluctantly, you spat on his hand.

He slid it over his now hard cock, wanting it to feel easy to slide into you. You let out a loud cry when he let it move through your folds, resting in place for a minute.

His head fell against your shoulder, inside of you but calm.

"You feel okay?" He asked, hot breath against your neck. "Can I move?"

"Mhm."

He moaned, thrusting slowly at first, savoring the feel of your tightness around him. "You're so beautiful, you know that? No, don't look away. Look at me." He grabbed your chin, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

Coriolanus complied, increasing the pace of his thrusts while maintaining a gentle rhythm. Each powerful stroke sent waves of pleasure coursing through both of them, the moans melding together in harmony. His hands roamed freely over your body, caressing your breasts and pinching her nipples gently. "Tell me you want it... tell me how much you need this," he panted between breaths, his voice hoarse with desire.

"Say my name, love..."

"Coryo!" You moaned his name, intertwining a hand with him.

Coriolanus's fingers dug into your hips, nails scratching lightly as he picked up the pace, his cock pounding into your tight cunt. His orgasm was building rapidly, and he knew it wouldn't be long before you both reached your peak. "Almost... almost..." He groaned out, his voice strained with desire.

"Here it comes," he warned just moments before releasing a hot stream of cum inside her, filling her completely. Panting heavily, he pulled out slowly, letting their juices trickle down her thighs.

He looked at you in pride, almost as if he was proud of the artwork infront of him. He went to cup your face, whispering, "You know I love you, right?"

"Depends, do you know I do?" You grinned at him, teasing him.

"President Snow loves meeee!" You said in a sing-songey voice.

"Well, I'm glad you're aware." He smirked at you softly, before bringing you in for one more kiss.

yk i love a londonn boy - me

#coriolanus snow x you #coriolanus snow x reader smut #coriolanus snow smut #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow #coriolanus x you #coriolanus snow angst #coriolanus snow fluff #Spotify

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sickuma · 10 months

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SILLAGE — a Simon Riley fic. 2/2

❱ again this was an au first written on tiktok! this will be the last part of it, please keep in mind that it is all fiction and that if you're going through the same thing and are having the same thoughts, please seek someone you trust. Please fight for yourselves, you're worth it ꜝ？ Warning. . this is a heavy angst fic, mentions of suicide and acts of committing, if that is something that triggers bad emotions, please exit the fic.

paring is Ghost x Reader this is unedited! mistakes such as spelling and grammatical errors are to be expected !

Part 1 (^_^;)

SILLAGE — (n.) The scent that lingers in air, the trail left in water, the impression made in space after something or someone has been and gone; the trace of someone's perfume.

—hey [name]? I know I'm the last person you want to hear from right now, but I just really—

There was a short pause, as the voicemail erupts a slight static sound.

—I love you. That should have been enough reason. No, you were enough. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I was cowardly, I figured that you'll be happier and safer, being with someone who isn't me. Someone who isn't a soldier.

It was the same night he left your apartment. He swore to himself he would not come crawling back. To protect both of you, at the time, it had been the best solution for him. Until the midnight strikes, he remembered just how serious you looked, just how accepting you looked.

Too accepting.

—because who knows when one of these missions would finally take me out. I can't let you suffer through that, I can't be the one to give you that kind of grief. So I thought leaving you was the best option.

There was a dire pause as he thought of the best words possible to express himself. He’s never been one to do such, but for you, he’s willing to be better.

—it wasn't.

He spoke desperately, almost shaking from just how much adrenaline rushed through him. He had just argued with the team, and after a long hour of explaining to them what he needed to do, he was finally permitted to bail out on this mission, it’s not like he wouldn't leave without permission, that's how urgent this is for him, he needed to get to you as soon as possible,

Even he doesn't know why he’s in a rush,

Maybe it's because of your silence, the unanswered calls, and unread messages that brought him on edge.

—I love you, far too much, my love, to even think straight without you. I love you so much it's hard to breathe. I so desperately love you to the point it hurts.

The desperation and sincerity. It was all there. He knew if he couldn't let it out now, he won't let it out ever. This was his only chance of being happy.

You were his only chance for happiness. He almost couldn't believe he thought letting you go because of his fear was the best decision.

He stupidly let you go, succumbing to the fear of dying while you wait for him. He knows better, he will do better,

For you. Because you're worth changing for, you're worth the risk.

—please don't hate me. I know I was an ass for leaving in the first place, baby, I am sorry. You loved me so much that it felt so good, I didn't know I'm capable of feeling that way, so I was scared that worse would come after. I'm not scared anymore. You looked at me like there's something in me worth looking at,

He felt like he was saying so much yet so little at the same time,

He had so much to tell you but very few words to express it. He needs to be with you. He needs to see you and physically explain to you just how much you mean to him.

—I won't waste it, love, not again. Please open the door for me when I get back.

He frowned, realizing once again just how idiotic he was. He knew he should not have done what he did, but it was over with. The only thing left to do is to make things right somehow.

—I've never been taught how to love, I have.. I don't— I'm not the best at it. I'm sorry baby, if I'm not loving you the right way, and for leaving just like that, but I promise I'll be better. you're worth the better of me, you're worth learning love for.

He needed you, and you needed him. That should have been enough reason to risk it.

—when I come back, please let me hold you. Please forgive me for making you feel like an option between my job. It's you. It's always been you. I love you, baby, wait for me. I'll make this right.

As the line cuts, the static sound fills the eerie room of yours. The very same room he had walked out from, the same room where you sat breathing hours ago. There were no other living sounds except for the occasional ticking of the clock.

There were no signs nor sounds of life perceived in the room. The silence was thick. With your lifeless body beside the bed in a fetal position, a bottle of used pills tightly wrapped around your hands. It was light, about three to four pills left inside a newly bought bottle.

It was dead silent as if the universe sympathized with you.

Allowing silence in regards to respect for what has passed, for what has ended.

﹑

“My family’s never been the typical joyous family, I guess that affected me, as a person in general.”

You explain, running your hand through his hair while his head laid on your lap. It’s one of those days where he’d be much affectionate compared to the majority of the time. He requested to hear about your childhood while he rests on you,

For a moment you felt your heart and breath hitch.

“I guess growing up in that kind of household really—really influenced my well-being. It's given me problems and worries I shouldn't have.” You were hesitant to continue, “Fear, I started having fears for a lot of things.”It's as if you caught a glimpse of his mind, taking in the details you've just given him.“Fears like?”

The moment the question reached your ears, he could see your body tense. He understood, and he doesn't plan on pushing it.“You don't have to answer that, my love.” he smiles, “No matter what it is you're scared of, let’s face it together, yeah? You have me. That's enough, I hope.”

Little did he know that fear was yet to come. The fear of leaving soon, the fear of being unable to keep going. How could you ever explain to him that you don't plan to stay long?

﹑

With a ragged breath from exhaustion, he dropped his things once again, the same way he did before he left. Facing your door yet again, panting as a feeling of discomfort plagued him, why exactly? He’s finally here. Why is he so distraught, he wondered.

“[name]?” he knocks,

Swallowing the lump in his throat, his voice strained, and his state dishevelled. “[name] please—it’s me, please answer.”

The lack of response made him think about just how angry he made you,

“I'm sorry,” he whispers,

“I know I was stupid and irrational. I won't do it again, petal, please open the door.”

To say he’s nervous would be an understatement. What would he do if you never find it in you to let him back into the comfort of your arms? Will he return to the familiar cold he had forgotten when he met you?

“[name] I love you.”

He desperately spoke, yearning for an answer; the smallest sign of acceptance.

It was odd. How quiet it was. Are you that mad? He wonders, but then again, he knew you’re not one to ignore, not even when you’re the angriest you've been. You would never shut him out, not ever. “[name], please, answer, or I'll have to go inside.”

“Baby are you okay?” no response.

Each passing second was like a countdown. He was uneasy and distraught. Afraid even.

The silence felt deafening. He was afraid of what? He had no clue what he was so afraid of, surely you're okay...

Right?

“[name], I'm coming in,” he says sternly, fishing the spare key he oh so gratefully forgot to give back. His heart thumps louder with each action.

The moment he entered, the creak of the door interrupted the silence. He felt like he was intruding on an abandoned space. It felt wrong. He knew something was wrong.

“[name]? I'm back, like—like I always am.” his voice broke, stepping inside, head looking around, hoping to find you and engulf you in his longing arms. “As I told you, I’ll always find my way back… right?”

He kept speaking while he walked, checking and opening every door. Starting from the small kitchen to the bathroom, checking everywhere until there was one room left. He dreaded it, for no reason he was scared and yet he rushed,

He spoke, no—he goes on a tangent,

“I'll take the month off. We’ll do anything you want, anything to make up for this. I promise we can even get a pet, I always say no, right? This time, I'll agree, anything for you, my love just—”

The silence rung,

Apart from the sound of the door opening by his force, there were no sounds made, not from him, not from anything. He simply stood, dumbfounded at what the room unveiled; at that moment, nothing mattered, not even the breath he had held unknowingly.

A ragged chuckle escaped his lips, though it was hollow. As if he was desperate to know that maybe this is all some sick prank. Maybe this was one of your silly games he always put up with, “Baby? What’s this? Why are you on the floor?”

“Jokes over [name] get up—”

When it all came to view, he was silenced. The second he stepped closer, he saw how your body lay lifeless, how you held that bottle, and how his eyes drifted onto the lone tear, which evidently dried along the hours.

How long have you been here?

In this state? How long has it been since you left him?

He couldn't feel. He couldn't grasp his head around the sight before him. He’s well familiar with death. He’s seen it before, and he’s lost comrades before, but nothing comes close to what lay in front of him.

How does one react when their lifeline lies lifeless before their very eyes?

He couldn't approach nor speak. He simply stood with weak knees, tempting to give out. It didn't take him long to crouch, eyes wide open with lips parted slightly. There were no tears, no emotions, the moment numbed him. It didn't feel like reality,

There he crouched, just a few steps away from you. It didn't feel like his heart dropped. It felt almost worse, as if you'd taken it with you. How could this have happened? Did he cause this?

If you had told him a day ago that he would witness the person he loved the most laying on the floor devoid of life, he would have laughed at your face, punching you even. This isn't reality. This isn't a reality he wants to face.

It took every courage in his body to bring himself closer to you, afraid of what more he’d discover. With slow steps, he drew closer, grabbing your hand was the first thing he thought of doing. “Oh god…” his voice broke,

Your body isn't as warm as it used to be,

Not as he remembered. The warmth he loved when he would hold you against him, it’s gone. You're gone.

He had felt countless of stiff lifeless bodies and yet yours hurt the most,

The mere thought of it destroyed him. It hasnt sinked in yet, but he could tell. He could tell his demise is near. The realization will hit him in a short while.

“Baby, im home…” this wasn't him. This was not his voice. Stuttering over the easiest words, strained with pent-up sobs. His chest felt heavy, almost making it difficult to breathe.

Yet with hitched breath, he picked up your limp body and placed you in his arms, crushing your icy body against him. He held you tightly, but his hands cradled your body tenderly. It was as if he’s afraid of hurting you more.

Ghost was forever fearless, always facing whatever challenge was given to him, even his mortal enemy would know that he isnt necessarily the easiest solder to crack, let alone destroy and yet he finds himself sat on the floor holding the lifeless frame of his lover,

Cradling whatever is left of you,

Desperately holding onto what he can possibly hold on to.

The lieutenant everyone looked up on, admired and viewed as an admirable man, sat on the floor with a weighing heart. Holding back the tears that had formed without his knowledge as he held your body,

but right now, he wasn't lieutenant simon ‘ghost’ riley.

At this moment, he was just simon, the simon you loved desperately, the simon who loved you just as insanely.

This person right this moment was your simon,

He wasnt anyone else, he was yours.

As he sat on the hard cold floor, thoughts roaming with his heart screaming, he felt like a mess, but that didn't matter. Words can not describe the regret, remorse, and stupidity he felt,

If i didnt leave,

If i didn't walk out that door,would you still have been alive in my arms?Would i still have to hold you soulless?

He held you closer, bringing you closer to him, as close as possible. He felt nothing but regret, nothing but anger for himself. Why is it that the very grief he tried to protect you from, the same reason he left, the same grief he avoided you to feel, why is it that he’s feeling it now?

His ragged sobs filled the room, and the rest remained still as if everything sympathized for him. As if the world understood the hurt he carried. He sobs, holding onto you as if doing so would bring you back. He knew nothing well, and yet he foolishly cried, hoping you’ll hear him and come back to ease the pain.

Like you always did.

At the corner of his eyes, he saw the letters piled not far from them. Without standing, nor letting go of you, he reached for it. Reading the names addressed on each, until he sees the one for him.

Of all the few letters he saw, his was the only one with tear drops which ruined the ink in front, almost unable to read, he brought it closer, dropping the rest.

Simon,

I felt everything.

Thank you, and im sorry,

I love you :)

Swallowing the impossibly heavy lump on his throat, he opened the carefully folded letter. He was met with even more tear drops. The thought of you crying, alone, while you write him a letter to bid him goodbye, crushed his soul.

He cant imagine a greater pain,

It felt surreal.

How could I..

How could I have lost you this easily.

With his blurry vision, he starts to read—well—attempt to. With every sentence, every punctuation, every meaning of your words, all of it felt like a slap to reality.

How could he have not seen?

How did he not notice? Not paying attention to what you were going through? How could he have been so careless as to leave you all alone.

The very fear you spoke of,

He did just exactly what your family had done.

If anybody could have saved me,

it would have been you.

He read the part over and over again, allowing your words to cut through his heart repeatedly. He left you, and yet, at the end of the day, you still see him as someone—the only one who could save you.

Despite the war inside your mind,

Inside your mind and unwavering emotions, which he hadn't bothered to unveil, he remained the most important person.

May it be in your chaotic mind or the furthest crevices of your heart, he remained on both.

He read it all,

Understanding every single thing you failed to say in person,

Everything you failed to say while you still lived.

It hurts even more. He thought nothing could be more painful when he saw you laying lifeless. But having to read what you wanted to say,

How sorry you were, how thankful you are to him, and how he made you feel.

It was surely another cut to an already existing wound. His mind flashed memories while he went over the tear stained letter you left.

He remembered everything as if they were as fresh as yesterday. When you first smiled at him, when you first held hands, when your lips first touched.

Your words were true. The story of you really is short-lived. But he couldn't help but think about the what If's

If he stayed,

If he hadn't walked out,

If he ignored his fear of abandoning you,

If he hadn't been so stupid and cowardly.

He gave up, and the heavy lump on the throat overcame him, letting the sting linger for as long as eternity. He read the last words on the letter, with a loud sob, with repeated pleads.

Repeatedly apologising, repeatedly begging for you to come back so he could fix things so everything could return to normal,

So you could return.

A childish wish. A high-ranking soldier held the lifeless body of his lover all while he begs for them to come back.

"I'm so sorry." He whispers, voice too broken to speak normally. "I'm sorry for not noticing."

"I'm sorry you had to be alone."

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He repeats over and over again, holding you against him.

At the back of the letter, he could barely see the words written with how blurry the tears clouded his eyes.

Thank you for making me feel.

The words only crushed him even more, sobbing and crying harder to no avail.

"[name]..." He whispers, holding you close. "Did it hurt? I'm sorry, it must have been so hard."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm so sorry for not being here you."

He apologized, wishing he could have been with you. To convince you otherwise, wishing he could have been here to avoid this,

To avoid losing you.

Wishing he could have stayed to keep making you feel.

The thoughts of your words before he left suddenly entered his mind,

"Can I hug you?"

"One last time?"

Now it all makes sense why you looked so serene, why you looked so accepting. Why did you have that small smile on your lips,

You were bidding him goodbye.

That really was the final hug.

The final touch he'd ever get, the final living affection he would get from you.

He holds you now, but it wasn't the same, not even close. Back then, you were smiling and breathing, but now you're no different to an inanimate object. Stiff and cold, this is the person he loved so dearly?

It ached.

And it ached painfully.

The type of ache to never go away, the type of ache he'd keep forever.

The type of ache he'll willingly embrace,

As he held you that night, mourning for what could've been, mourning for someone beyond saving.

This was the ache he'd willingly feel forever,

If it means having you in his mind and heart. He would willingly hurt himself by keeping that ache if it means keeping you in his deceased heart forever.

As the remnant of your memories roamed the room, your presence which now passed, the scent of yours he dearly craved. It left a sillage pain to remember,

You left a sillage worth remembering.

"I'll keep you in my heart,

Even if that damage me,

Even if it kills me.

I'll keep you safe forever."

1K notes · View notes

zapreportsblog · 6 months

Text

❝HUSBAND❞

✭ PAIRING : Edward Cullen x Reader

✭ FANDOM : Twilight

✭ SUMMARY : When Edward proposed to Bella he expected her to accept after all they were mates? Right? Wrong! Bella rejected edwards proposal breaking his undead heart in the process, not being able to withstand the aftermath Edward leaves home; only to return 2 years later but this time he’s married?!

✭ AUTHORS NOTE : I already know there is a story on here called the same story with the same cover (on quotev at least) mines had been edited to a clearer form, (again on quotev) that was my old account, (marveluserlovesmarbel again on quotev was my old and very first account) one of my first actually. If I can remember the login information from it I’d log back in and post my stories from their over here but for now enjoy the remake of said story :)

✭ QUOTEV VERSION

✭ HUSBAND MASTERLIST

✭ CHAPTER THREE : The Storm

Tension filled the air as Bella confronted the newfound presence of (Y/n) in Edward's life. She blinked in disbelief, her voice quivering as she stammered, "My love? Since when did this happen?"

Edward, sensing the impending storm, attempted to walk away with (Y/n) and even gestured for her to go inside. But (Y/n) was resolute and didn't budge. She glared at Bella, her voice dripping with ice, as she asked, "Who are you?"

Bella retorted, her tone growing defensive, "I'm Edward's girlfriend, and who are you?"

(Y/n) didn't waste a moment, showing off her ring with a fiery glare. "I'm his wife."

Bella's eyes widened in shock at the revelation. The words hung heavily in the air, and she was momentarily at a loss for words. She looked to Edward for help, but he maintained a blank expression.

Sensing Bella's vulnerability, (Y/n) couldn't contain her anger any longer. She stepped forward, poking Bella's chest with each word, her voice seething with righteous fury. "You've got some nerve showing your face around here. You made your grave; now lay in it."

Without waiting for a response, (Y/n) turned away from Bella and walked over to her husband, Edward. She looked deep into his eyes, her love and passion evident, and then, she pulled him into a long, passionate kiss. It was a declaration of their bond and a clear message to Bella that she was no longer a part of Edward's life. Bella watched them with a mixture of jealousy and regret, realizing that she had lost Edward. But she wasn’t one to give up easily. With a huff she yanks over her car door looking back at the couple, “I’ll be back later Edward,” and with a slam of the door she pulls out of the Cullen’s drive way.

Emmett the ever so innocent “viewer” in all this snorts, “Women am I right?!”

┉

Inside the house, (Y/n) had stormed in, seething with anger and frustration. She couldn't believe that Bella had shown up and disrupted the peace she and Edward had found together. She muttered to herself, unaware of the growing intensity of her emotions.

"How could that wench come here and think all would be fine and dandy?" (Y/n) ranted, her voice filled with exasperation.

Unbeknownst to her, the lights in the house began to flicker erratically. The others in the room exchanged puzzled glances, noticing the unusual phenomenon. Emmett, always one to comment on such things, blurted out, "Yo, what's up with the lights?"

Edward, realizing that it was (Y/n)'s powers reacting to her emotional turmoil, excused himself and made his way to where she was venting her frustrations. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and whispered soothing words, "Love, it's going to be okay. Please, try to calm down. Your powers are reacting to your emotions."

(Y/n) took a deep breath, her anger gradually subsiding as she focused on Edward's calming presence. The lights in the house gradually steadied, no longer flickering. She turned to him, her eyes filled with remorse for causing such a disturbance.

Edward reassured her, "It's alright, my love. We'll figure this out together. Bella is no longer a part of my life, and you are the one I choose to be with. I love you."

(Y/n) nodded, her anger giving way to a sense of relief and the warmth of Edward's love. They held each other close, finding solace in their bond, and slowly the tension in the house began to dissipate.

As Edward held (Y/n) close against his chest, her anger continued to simmer. She mumbled softly, her voice filled with frustration, "I just don't like it. How can she come back here thinking she would be welcomed with open arms? After hurting you? After unknowingly hurting your family?"

Edward kissed her forehead gently, trying to offer reassurance. "It's okay, my love. We'll work through this."

But (Y/n) couldn't contain her anger any longer. Her emotions surged, and as she shouted in frustration, a light bulb above them suddenly burst, scattering glass fragments on the floor.

Startled by the sudden noise, Alice, who had been observing the situation from the doorway, took a step back. She glanced at the shattered light bulb and then at the two of them, her eyes wide with surprise. With an uncertain smile, she said, "I'll just come back later," and quickly walked away, leaving Edward and (Y/n) alone to deal with the aftermath of this emotional exchange.

As (Y/n) pulled back from their embrace, her guilt about scaring Alice was evident in her eyes. She whispered, "Oh no, I scared Alice. I have to go apologize."

Edward gently placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her. "No, what you need to do is calm down, love. Alice will be fine. She's a vampire, remember?"

(Y/n) wasn't easily consoled. She replied, "That doesn't mean I didn't frighten her, supernatural being or not."

Edward couldn't help but chuckle, his laughter resonating in the room. "That's what I love about you, my dear."

(Y/n) playfully smacked his shoulder, her worry still evident. "This isn't a laughing matter, Edward. I used my powers unconsciously, and look, I even broke that poor, innocent light bulb."

Edward continued to chuckle, the sound of his laughter filling the room. "You're right, love, but it's just a light bulb. We can replace it. Besides, I’m sure Alice will understand.”

(Y/n) sighed, unable to resist a smile at her husband's laughter and reassurance. She realized that even in moments of turmoil, his presence had a way of calming her, and she felt grateful for the love they shared.

577 notes · View notes

bahrtofane · 14 days

Text

promises under the stars - jude pov

Jude never meant to replace you. But that's how it ended up isn't it. There's no one to blame but himself, no one behind each and every decision that now has him standing at the end of an aisle, waiting for his bride. A bride that isn't you.

highly highly recommend reading this fic first. or else it kinda doesnt make a whole lot of sense on its own. then come back here. this is kinda like a part 2? kinda

shout out to this anon for this idea ! hope you like it

word count - 2.1K+

watch it - well angst, yet again. pregnancy talks the works. sorry if i used ur name for his wife xoxo. enjooyyy

p.s. - shout out to @anadiasmount for the inspo to create the image at the end ! go read all her stuff yall so good

—————-

He thinks the moment it all comes crumbling down is when he gets word of you getting mobbed. After you've just been to Madrid with him. And he can't do anything about it but send security and hope it doesn't get out of hand.

He expects you to give up right then and there, curse him and wish for him to have nothing to do with your life again. But you don't. You can never bring yourself to blame him. To hate him.

Then comes your whole family suing him for something completely out of his control. Fresh after your father has threatened him, this is just what they need to come after him legally.

It's okay because they don't win. Of course they don't. How stupid do you have to be to try and sue for going on vacation for someone you love. He wants to call you every step of the way. But his lawyer warns against it. So he doesn't. And you’re left in the dark.

Do you even know that they've tried to sue?

He can guess what you're thinking. He knows you too well. You think this is him taking an exit from his life. He doesn't want it to be this way. Maybe its for the best after all he finds himself thinking. Back to the thoughts of letting you go for your good as much as his.

But like most things in life, things get muddy.

He spends his time in a whirlwind of emotions, all leading back to you. He can not go more than an hour without you in his mind.

Even if his texting habits dont show it, he wants to talk to you every second of every day. Do you remember when he would call you to complain about the mundane. When he stubbed his toe, or drank out of his mind, pressing his nose against the screen trying to feel you against him.

Things have changed. He’s no longer the same youthful Jude with a penchant for recklessness. Taking day trips to see you, skirting around paparazzi and your families just to have a moment together.

He misses you, but he’s scared to reach out again. So he remains silent and an onlooker to your life.

Funny isn't it. World class player with more money than he knows what to do with is scared to text you in fear of what your families will say or do.

And yet, he can’t stay away for long can he. His resolve breaks on your birthday. Months and years have gone by. Legal cases are drawn out go figure. And he's been so busy with games every few days and events he can never say no too. When he gets home his bones ache, only finding the strength to clean himself up and go to bed.

When he calls you he realizes maybe it's too late. That waiting for things to blow over have left a gap in your time together. He knows nothing but memories. Your life eludes him. He tries to go back truly, but seeing your story while you're out with friends, smiling- actually smiling. He thinks he better not intrude.

His mother isn't helping one bit. She's come to the conclusion that the only way to move on and get your family off his back for good is to just move on. Find a “nice sensible girl” she says, smiling.

Jude doesn't want to. It makes him sick. Kicking and screaming the whole way about it. It’s not a bad idea in theory. Pretend to date someone. Your family gets off his back his family of yours boom you can be happy together again.

So he can learn who you are again. Find a way into your life. Do you still tilt your head when you're confused? He needs to get back to you. He can't let someone like you leave. He doesn’t just love you, he’s fascinated with the person you’ve grown into.

The thought of you with anyone else makes him sick. He still loves you, and he makes himself believe that the same is true.

If only right.

He meets Kaylie in the dead of winter. At a sponsorship event that he completely forgets about and shows up an hour late to. He looks around trying to find his agent but before he can even say his usual rounds of hellos he spots his mother standing with a blonde who clutches her necklace to her chest while she laughs.

This is the start of his own nightmare.

He comes back around when he knows he has to. After taking his sweet time talking to everyone. He tries to look for help to get out of the encounter but it's already too late. His mother is flagging him down. So he walks over, already sweating.

His mother all but pushes them together.

“What a couple you two are.” she beams, hands clasped together.

He gives a tight lipped smile and tries to wiggle his way out the awkward slew of introductions Kaylie gives of herself. But his mother gives him a look, grabbing into his arm and making stand and listen.

There's a look in his mothers eye, he knows what it means. This is the woman that's supposed to replace you. He feels sick.

——-

Along the way he thinks that maybe this is what's best for him. For you.

His family all love Kaylie. And she's sweet enough.

Nothing like you, dragging him into different clubs while you linked arms to get ice cream at the same time.

He finds it hard to keep up with her. Her life is fast paced, more so than his. Every time he calls she's in a different country it seems, catching flights and going to fancy resorts.

You never minded a quiet night in. Its what you loved, being able to exist with him.

Most of all she doesnt know him. She knows Jude Bellingham. The player, the figure, the celebrity. She doesn't know that he has a bad habit of touching his ears when he's nervous, how his eyes go wide at praise and teasing. How without a hundred reminders and alarms he truly would be late for everything. You always helped getting him to things on time.

When you were both awkward pre teens struggling to make sense of the world, you’d stop by his house to make sure he wouldn’t miss the bus. Sitting next to him on the beaten leather seats, and spitting facts you learned the day before.

He always listened. He still would today.

He doesn't think Kaylie’s noticed anything about him. She spends most of their time together taking pictures and flaunting him around. He pretends it doesn't bother him. Is the peace even worth it at this point?

She doesn't know how much he loves making little daisy chains, how much he loved putting them in your hair when you were kids. You’d throw a fit, but he never missed the look in your eyes when his fingers would swoop down to settle them gently.

Kaylie is beautiful. But she's not beautiful like you. She may have an expensive taste for clothes that allows her to put together a stunning outfit for any occasion, cleavage on display while she pouts her lips and bats her eyelashes for a kiss. Kisses he never gives her. He can't. Not when he knows you wait for him.

Sure she's great by the average man's standards. But she's not lovely like you. You could be in a trash bag and he'd still think you're the most gorgeous person on the planet.

He thinks this whole Kaylie thing will blow over, that he'll be able to get back to you.

And he tells her this.

He goes through the motions, just to shut everyone up.

Sitting her down when his mother isn’t around, “I don't love you. I will never be okay. I'm only here to get my mom off my back.”

And she laughs, flicking her hair over her shoulder, “Okay Judey whatever you say,” bracelets clanking together.

The name makes him want to hurl. “Get out of my house.”

Kaylie has got it in her head that she's here to stay. They've gotten into screaming matches because she's gotten her hands on the spare key and spends her days lounging in his house while he's away. They're not even officially dating by any means.

And he keeps finding her in his bed, in nothing but one of his shirts. Giggling and acting coy. He's losing his patience and losing it fast.

“Why did you give her the key.” Jude storms into his mothers house.

She's making tea, swirling a spoon in her mug,”she's your woman isn't she. She needs one.”

“No. She's not my woman and you know that. Everyone that.”

She set the spoon down in the sink, going over to where Jude stands.

“Jude. you need to focus on what's good for you. And she wasn't good. You should be lucky that they didn't win the case. I went and told them about Kaylie and how wonderful she is. Be thankful. “

He's losing his mind. He needs to talk to you.

He gets the chance when he's back in his hometown. And he sees you. He doesn’t think he could ever miss you, not even in a crowd. A rush of people stop him from running right to you. So instead he texts you. For the first time in ages.

Was nice seeing you.

He hopes you can read between the lines, that you still know him well enough to understand what he really means.

I still see you.

For Jude is a coward.

——

You dont reply. He forces himself to go back to what hes been forced to know.

Kaylie is all over him, hands roaming his body. There are days when he gives in. Sharing a bed with her as a cruel demented way to find some sort of release from everything that goes on around him. The look on her face after its all set and done makes him genuinely want to punch something. A look of arrogance, like she's won something.

And to top it all off he's been called up for England. His life gets even busier, if possible. Trying to keep up with it all proves to be grueling.

But light comes in the form of you. In the form of a single text.

Watched you play tonight. I'm proud of you.

You're proud of him? You watched him?

The words bring him to near sobs, the light of his phone illuminating his hotel room while hes getting changed into his pjs. It's completely dark, his personal preference. And hes so happy he would fly the damn plane himself to see you.

Before he can even think of a reply Kaylie tells him she's pregnant. Barging into his room with a little white box in hand. He thinks is some sort of congratulations for the game. Tacky card, maybe a watch.

When he opens it, his world comes to a halt. Its a single pregnancy test.

He wants to cry. He's too young to be having kids let alone with her. It makes no sense to him. He always used protection the handful of times they did sleep together. Each time he'd only cry in the shower trying to scrub off her smell and the feeling of her touch off of him. She's only a distraction he tells himself. Too late for those words now.

It feels so wrong, so so wrong. He was supposed to be waiting for you and here he is sleeping with another woman. Who's now pregnant. He wants to vomit.

He's in too deep now. And he can't be a deadbeat dad.

Thoughts of you get pushed back to his mind while he scrambles to deal with the consequences of his own actions.

When they get back to Madrid, his mother doesnt let him off easy. Screaming at him till he thinks he's popped an eardrum. And yet there's a gleam in her eyes like she's happy it all worked out this way. Doting on Kaylie and rubbing her belly (that's not even close to showing yet), and calling herself grandma already.

The next step is obvious. He has to marry her and make it work.

So he does. An impromptu wedding that happens so fast he doesn't even hear the congratulations from everyone. He doesn't know how to break it to you so instead he posts on instagram and tries to figure out what his life has become.

Jude is nearing 25. He has a kid on the way. He's married. He hates his wife. He hate himself. Can you ever forgive him?

#jude x reader #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham x you #jude fluff #jude bellingham #jude x you #jude x y/n #jude bellingham one shot #jude bellingham fanfic #jude bellingham angst #bahr footy #YAY #i acc got this out in a semi reasonable time frame go figure

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saintkiri · 2 months

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summary: you felt numb after eren walked through your apartment door. you thought you would never find love again..well..eren wasn’t love. it was everything BUT love. he used you and ended up cheating. you have so many questions that you know you’ll never get the answer to. after a night out drinking with friends..you ended up finding love just outside the door where you watched eren leave.

content warnings: cheating, smut (begging, multiple orgasms, spanking, unprotective sex (wrap it before you tap it!), aftercare) toxic!eren, mentions of therapy, praying to God, anxiety, throw up (?). if i miss anything, lmk :)

wc: 5.6k

author note: …so it’s been 2 years since I’ve actually written and posted something. I meant to post this almost 2 years ago & I promised you guys I would post it & I never did. but, life was crazy and I am still adjusting. Anywhos, don’t expect much from me writing. I am glad to be back even tho I’m not 😭

part one (pls read so this can make sense)

taglist | aot masterlist

When Eren walked past that door, you felt like you lost a piece of you. The last thing he told you made you feel even more stupider than you have ever felt.

‘The moment I laid my eyes on her, I stopped loving you.’

That sentence kept repeating over and over again.

You closed the door, and fell. Your back sliding against the door until you were sitting on the ground waiting for the tears to come. But, they never did. You were so numb and shocked, that you couldn’t shed a single tear.

Your life and emotions relied on him. He made you feel everything you craved.

It didn’t make sense. He stopped loving you the moment he laid his eyes on someone else.

What made her so perfect?

Eren would always made comments saying that you were the girl of his dreams. How could he say all the right things just to cheat?

You lost track of time, you sat against the door in silence, watching the apartment go from dark to light. You were so numb, you couldn’t sleep. It felt like he drained every emotion out of you with a sentence. All it took was one sentence to change you.

The memories of you and him kept running pass your thoughts. As you watched time go by, it was as if the ghost of you and him were running through the apartment. It hurt. You remembered all the laughs, all the times where he made your heart feel so warm and full.

But now, how can your heart go from that feeling over never ending lust to feeling cold and empty?

It’s been about six months since Eren. It’s been hard to say the least. For the first month, you couldn’t even recognize yourself. You couldn’t stop thinking about him all day. It was always either you replaying his last words to you, replaying the argument, or all the times you should have realized he was cheating on you.

Slowly, you grew. It took you a while to get back up on your feet. It took you a while to get used to a life without him. You never really realized how much you relied on him. Your friends helped you move on and get back to your life.

You would gradually throw away Eren’s stuff during the first three months. First, it was the pictures and little momentums. You burned and threw out all the polaroids, all the gum wrapper hearts he would make, all the receipts, and every physical memory. It was weird because when you and Eren broke up, you would randomly find those hearts wherever around the apartment. You would keep them in a jar on your dresser, and slowly throughout the relationship, the jar kept getting filled to the point where you needed a new one. After the breakup, when you would find one, you would throw it out.

Every time you threw one out, a little piece of your heart went with it and you couldn’t explain why.

The day you finally decided to move on hurt you just as bad as the day Eren and you broke up. You were burning away not only the bad memories but the core memories. The polaroid picture from your first kiss, the rose he got you for your first date, the first movie ticket. Every single physical memory was being turned to ash. Jean and Mikasa helped you light the match and watched everything burn with you. You didn’t cry at first, and you didn’t start crying until they both left.

You closed the door, thanking them for being there for you..and for pushing you to move on. Although your heart was breaking, you still managed to smile. As soon as the door closed, you were back at the same position you were six months ago. Your back against the door, still somehow wishing that this was just some sick joke.

Tears were running down your face. You would wipe them just for there to be more. You sobbed in the same position. At this point, it felt like a routine. You would try your hardest to get over Eren, no matter what you would do to get over him, the memories haunt you.

Slowly, you stopped crying. You don’t know how long you sat there, it could have been minutes or hours. You eventually stood up, then you walked to your kitchen as if nothing happened. The first thing you grabbed was to go to your cabinet to get a glass when suddenly you heard someone talking on the phone outside of your apartment. The voice sounded familiar, it was deep yet somehow smooth.

You put down the glass and walked back to the door. You then looked out of the peephole to see Jean sitting on the ground across from your apartment. Your eyes widened slightly, wondering why he was there. You opened the door, seeing Jean’s facial expressions. He looked tired, concerned, mad, everything you were feeling right now.

“Jean?” You say softly, while you were watching Jean slowly get up. He walked towards your door not saying much. But yet, the silence says it all. “H-How long were you sitting there for?” You opened the door some more to let him in. “Just long enough so I know you stopped crying because of him.” Your heart dropped.

How long has he been doing this? That was the first question that came to mind. You were having mixed emotions right now. How were you supposed to feel? Although your heart felt somewhat warm, you were also feeling untrustworthy.

Jean walked to your dining table and leaned against it. He then crossed his arms. You walked to your kitchen, "Do you want something to drink?" It was the least you offer, especially since he was sitting outside for who knows how long. "Do you have any alcohol?" He joked, and a small chuckle left your mouth. You grabbed another glass, then walked over to your counter to grab some alcohol.

You opened the bottle, then poured some for you and Jean. You handed Jean his glass, "Why do you wait?" You asked while taking a small sip. Jean stayed quiet, most likely trying to think of an answer. There was this moment of awkward silence.

Before you and Eren started dating, you and Jean were best friends. You and him have been friends for years, but when Eren came along, your friendship changed. Eren became possessive and toxic. He didn't like how close you were with Jean. So eventually, you stopped talking to Jean.

But, when you and Eren broke up, Jean came running to be right by your side. Although you and Jean stopped talking, Jean never stopped wanting to protect you, he never stopped watching over you, and never stopped loving you even after seeing you with another man.

Jean has had feelings for you since he met you. There's always been this little spark between the both of you. Eventually, that spark grew to be something more. He always tried to protect you. He would try to tell you what Eren was doing behind your back but you wouldn't listen to him in fear of Eren seeing you two together.

"I wait because I'm worried, y/n."

"Why are you worried, Jean?"

Jean took another sip of his liquid courage and walked towards you. You walked backward until you reached the counter. "Because you were crying over a man who didn't deserve you." Jean softly confessed. Your heart skipped a beat. Slowly, your eyes locked with Jean's hazel eyes. His expression was gentle with a mix of protectiveness..and a mix of love. "Then who deserves me?" You responded, feeling a rush of emotions come over you.

Your heart started racing as Jean leaned in closer to you. Was it the alcohol? Was it the fact that Jean is right about you getting over Eren?

Jean's hands were placed on top of the counter, cornering you. His right hand found its way to your hip. His lips inched towards yours, “You deserve someone who takes your breath away every time you look at him. Someone who makes you laugh, smile, feel every emotion that Eren didn’t.” Your eyes lock with his, feeling his breath against your lips. “I-I’t’s you..” You whisperingly confessed. Suddenly, he kissed you with passion, feeling sparks fly. Your noses bumped into each other as little giggles left your mouths. You wrapped your arms around the back of his neck. His lips tasting like the alcohol you were just drinking a moment ago. Your lips move with his, for the first time in what felt like months, this was the kiss you've been dreaming of. The kiss that makes you feel like you're on cloud nine, the kiss that makes time go by slowly, the kiss that makes all the others seem non-existent.

You felt Jean's hands pick you up and place you on the counter, "Are you drunk?" You asked as his lips found their way to your neck, gently kissing and leaving hickeys. Jean stopped his movement, as a small smile spread on his face. The smile you missed, the smile you practically dreamt of, the smile that never failed to make you smile. "No." He answered, as he slowly dragged his thumb across your bottom lip, "Are you?" He asked in return, you nodded, not knowing how to respond.

Jean's free hand moved towards your buttoned pants, "No answer?" He asked with a sly smirk on his face. Your mind went blank. His fingers played with the button as he leaned in to whisper in your ear, "I'm going to ask one last time, y/n. Are you drunk?" You coughed out a response, "N-No. No, I'm not, Jean." A laugh left his mouth.

"Good, because I don’t want our first time to be while you're drunk." He whispered again. Just like that, his lips were on yours. This time, that once soft kiss was now a kiss full of meaning. You don't know what came over yourself...and right now you weren't thinking about that. You were thinking about how soft his lips were, how his lips were on yours, and how you felt at that moment.

Jean picked you off the counter, and for a moment, all emotions that you had left for Eren had left your mind and all you can think about was Jean.

That kiss made you realize one thing.

It's always been...him.

It's always been Jean since the first day you laid your eyes on him. You were blinded by Eren. You were blinded by the fact that a very popular guy finally chose you. You were wrong..and now you want to spend the rest of your life making it up to Jean.

As he walked into your bedroom, your legs were wrapped around Jean's waist. He gently placed you on the bed, his lips finally leaving yours for a split second, "Finally, you're mine." You could cry with pure happiness. It was the happiness you never felt with Eren..but only with him.

You gave him a small and gentle peck, whispering softly, "Finally." You both smiled as you went back to kissing. His lips never left yours. If they did leave yours, they would end up moving and peppering kisses on your neck, as he slowly ripped away each item of clothing off of your body.

The tip of his index finger teased the top of your panties. You roll your hips, "J-Jean.." You moaned out softly, hoping he would get the hint. A sly smile grew on his face, chuckling slightly at how much you were begging for him. "God, y/n." He whispers in your ear as his lips move at a slow rate.

His fingers inch more and more towards where you wanted him to touch you most. You were getting impatient, all you wanted was to feel him. You moved your hands when suddenly Jean pinned them above your head.

The sexual tension was so thick. As much as he wants to fuck you, he wants to take his time.

Your eyes meet, "Please touch me, Jean." You begged. His eyes read yours, and that's when he lost all control. Fuck taking his time, he wanted you just as much as you wanted him. He moved his hand from pinning yours to taking off your panties.

It all happened so fast. One moment Jean was taking his time, devouring you inch by inch, finally getting what he's been dreaming of since he realized he had a crush on you.

Jean moved to the edge of the bed, and in one sudden motion, your thighs were wrapped around his neck. His lips peppered kisses on your inner thighs, moving closer to your aching clit.

He flatted his tongue and in one lick, he had you melting and moaning his name. That one moan sent him over, he wanted to hear you say it over and over again. This moment will be embedded in his brain for who knows how long.

Your fingers brush through his brunette locks, highly tugging at the roots, "Fuck, Jean." You moaned out as Jean's tongue circled your clit, making your mind and body melt. You felt his fingers add into the mix, moving slowly, pressing against the spot that makes you lose control.

He was in between your legs, lewd noises were the sound that was echoing in the room, pleads, begs, screams and moans.

His long, slim fingers thrust into you, making you moan louder and louder. Jean was loving the way your moans sounded. It was like music to his ears.

Over and over again, you were chanting Jean's name. It was every time he hit that spot, you would scream his name in pleasure.

Jean replaced his tongue with thumb and admired the view ahead of him, "God, you're so fucking hot, y/n." He said as your eyes met with his. A sly smile spread on his face while watching your reaction to his compliment. Your lip slid between your teeth, trying your hardest to hold back your moans.

He replaced his thumb back with tongue, and your head fell back onto the bed, feeling his tongue explore your cunt again. Your hands then roamed your body, finding their place over your mouth. You then began to slightly ride his mouth.

A familiar feeling began to stir in your stomach. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, your toes curled, feeling his finger movements begin to speed up.

You were speechless, you couldn't spit out a word, it felt that good. Finally, you spit out the words, "W-Wanna cum, so-so bad." Jean sped up his movements, moving his mouth off of your core, then crawling in between your legs, moving up until you were face to face.

His fingers didn't stop moving as he kissed you. Your moans were muffled by the kiss. "Cum on my fingers, y/n." He didn’t have to tell you twice. You came on his fingers, and instantly, your legs started shaking.

Jean got off the bed, and you held yourself up with your elbows, watching him pull down his boxers, and your jaw instantly dropped. His dick was big, probably the biggest one you've seen. He was mesmerized by your reaction to his size.

Your eyes locked with his as you sat up. You grabbed his arm and immediately pulled him into a kiss, your arms wrapped around his neck, feeling Jean slowly spreading your legs.

His lips left yours for a split second, "Are you on the pill?" You nodded, "Are you clean?" You asked as his hand inching towards your aching cunt. He nodded, kissing you back in response.

"Good, now I want you to beg for it, y/n." You smiled slightly because thought he was joking. You wanted him obviously, your body was practically begging for him. The tip of his dick teased your sensitive clit, and a quiet moan left your lips.

You lifted your hips, trying to get more out of him. Your smile disappeared when you realized he wasn't kidding, he was dead serious. You looked into his eyes, and his sparkle was gone.

"P-Please." you said desperately. Jean raised his eyebrow, "That's all you got? C'mon, y/n. Your body is practically begging for me..." His lips inched towards yours, "But, I want to hear you beg for my cock." His words hit straight to your core. "Please, Jean. Please fuck me. I-I want you so-so much."

Jean chuckled as he moved the tip of his dick in between your folds, “Where do you want it, princess?” He said as he kept teasing your aching cunt. You buck your hips against the tip of his cock, begging for some sort of friction. You look up and all you see is his desperate eyes on yours. “I want you to fuck me with your cock.” He chuckles, “Good girl.” he praised, and in one swift motion, he finally slid into your cunt. You both moaned. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and the bottom of your lip slid in between your teeth.

He bottomed out, hitting the spot that made you scream his name. With each thrust, came a moan. "F-Fuck, Jean!" You said as he pounded his cock into you.

You dug your fingers into his back, slowly moving them up, making sure to leave a mark. Jean inhaled sharply, "So fucking t-tight, y/n." Jean said as he kept bottoming out into you, hitting your g-spot over and over again.

Jean's lips found their way to yours, the kiss was deep. It was almost like he was trying to devour you as if you were his last meal. Although the kiss was deep, it had a meaning. You were his, you belonged to him. And, you were okay with that. Jean moved his lips from your throat and then moved to his next position. He grabbed your ankles and placed them on his shoulder, hitting your g-spot at a different angle.

He kissed your ankle as he kept pounding into you. The view in front of you looked so hot. He was hitting all the places that made your mind go blank. “Fuck.” Jean moaned. His moans made you want to exploded right then and there. He moved your legs and by habit you wrap them around this waist.

“This pussy was made for me, y/n.” Jean expressed in the nook of your neck, peppering kisses, sucking softly. Your fingers raked through his locks, lightly tugging. “J-Jean..harder.” You begged. You wanted him to fuck you like no other could. You wanted him to make you forget about Eren.

His thrusts slow down making you whimper. Jean flips you on your stomach, “Grab onto the headboard.” He demanded. You wrap your fingers around the cold metal bars, “Please.” You begged. Jean chuckled as you felt his dick slam into you again. You practically scream, feeling the bed shift slightly. Jean’s hands find their place in your hair. His finger wraps around your hair, making a make-shift ponytail, tugging at your roots. You moan feeling his dick hit a new spot from the new position he has you in.

You suddenly felt a harsh slap on your ass, you wince from he pain..but, you wanted more of it. Sounds of slapping skin fill the room, “Keep milking my cock, y/n.” You clench around his cock with every thrust.

You could feel your orgasm building up, feeling Jean’s hand leave your hair, then snaking to your clit. “You gonna’ cum, princess?” You nod, not being able to find the words. You felt another harsh slap on your ass, “Words.” He warned. Jean’s movements on your clit made your toes curl, making you moan loudly.

“Yes, I-I need to cum..so so bad.” You felt his thrust fasten, knowing he was close too. He instantly flips you over again, feeling his lips on yours. You wrap yours around his neck, “Cum for me, princess.” That’s all it took. Your legs started trembling as your orgasm unraveled. Jean emptied his load into you, letting you ride out your orgasm.

His lips found yours again as he pulled out. This kiss was different. This kiss felt like you were home..with him.

Jean’s lips left yours as he got up and walked to your bathroom, leaving you absolutely speechless. You couldn’t believe that just happened..but yet, you were so glad it did. You turn your head to see Jean in the bathroom, running a washcloth under some water.

Eren never did aftercare. He would just fuck you, and leave you hanging. Most of the time, you didn’t even finish..it was always about him finishing, his pleasure before yours, and that’s when your handy vibrator came into your life. Looks like you wouldn’t be needing that anymore with the way Jean just fucked you.

You thought sex like this belonged in porn.

Jean walked out of the bathroom smiling, “What are you smiling about?” You questioned him as he bends your still trembling legs. He kisses the top of your knees as he cleans your most sensitive area, you wince feeling the washcloth on your clit.

“You.” It was a simple one word..but, it made your heart melt leaving your very dirty thoughts behind. His fingers find your clit again, as that smile turned into a sly smirk. You moan, “Jean.” You warned softly, as he rubs it slowly. His fingers slip into your hole, “Just cleaning you out.” He says, as his fingers hit your g-spot. Your hand wraps around his wrist, “Do you want me to stop?” You shaking your head, never wanting him to stop.

He continues his movements, your legs squeezing together as his long, slim fingers continue to pump into you. You could feel your orgasm bubbling up. “Let go for me, princess.” And that’s all it took for your third orgasm to unravel, leaving you in a moaning mess.

His fingers left your cunt as his eyes locks with yours. He licks his fingers cleaning, “Now, I’m actually going to clean you up.” A giggle leaves your mouth as you feel the washcloth sliding over your skin again. You could get used to this.

You started thinking about life with Jean. “So, now what happens?” You ask out of curiosity. You were absolutely terrified of losing him. You didn’t know what was going to happen. Were you guys going to pretend this didn’t happen? Were you guys going to start a life together? Were you guys going to stay as friends? You had so many questions that were fueling your anxiety.

He stops his movements, looking at you, “I said that I was never going to let you go, y/n. You’re mine.” Tears start to form in your eyes, “Losing you to Eren was my biggest mistake, I should have never let you go..I felt like I hurt you. If I would have kept pushing you, and telling you everything he was doing behind your back, I thought I would have lost you permanently.” He stands up and walks across the room, throwing the used washcloth into the hamper. Then walking towards the bed, laying next to you. He places his hand on your cheek, “I will never ever let you go..And I mean it. I will spend all this lifetime and the next proving it to you.”

As a tear escapes your eye, Jean’s thumb catches it, “Why are you crying?” And suddenly, there were more tears..too many tears for his thumb to catch. You roll over, placing your head on his chest. “I’m sorry.” You say in the midst of a broken sob, Jean doesn’t say anything, he just caresses your head and lets you cry.

You wrap your arm around his chest, hugging him so tight, as if he was going to leave went you woke up. All this time, Jean waited for you. For all the years that you were with Eren, Jean was there waiting to help you when he left.

The day that Eren left the apartment, you called Jean, and he ran to your apartment. You didn’t know who else to call, you wanted the one person who knew how to comfort you, your best friend. Jean helped you through all the stages of your break up. He was there when you needed a shoulder to cry on, he was there when you couldn’t find yourself. And now, here he was yet again, being the shoulder you cried on.

“It should have been you, Jean.” You said through the soft sobs, “It shouldn’t have been Eren, I should have never been with him..it was supposed to be you.” Jean kissed the top of your head, comforting you.

Jean kisses the top of your head, as you looked up at him, “Now we can make up for lost time.” His lips inched towards yours, “Starting now.” His lips connected with yours.

This is what loves feels like..and it’s how it should have been from he start.

Jean is your forever.

Jean is the missing piece to your broken puzzle.

Jean is the person you prayed to God for everyday instead of Eren.

Jean is your other half.

____

2 YEARS LATER:

“Here’s to your last day being engaged!!” Mikasa exclaimed as she jumps into your arms. You were out for brunch with all your girlfriends, celebrating your last day being an engaged woman. You never thought this day would come.

Jean ended up proposing a year ago..and it was so romantic. You both knew you wanted to get married. Jean wanted it to be a surprise though. He had taken you to a romantic restaurant..which would have been very cliche of him. You and him would always joke about the cliches. He knew you wanted everything but the cliches.

He ended up getting on one knee when you least expected it. He wanted to catch you off guard. You and him were going house hunting when he proposed. You guys were looking at a house and the moment you step foot into it, you saw your life with Jean flash before your eyes. Every corner you turned, you could imagine kids running around. When you went into the kitchen, you saw family dinners..just the thought alone brought tears to your eyes.

It was when you guys walked into the backyard when you looked Jean in the eyes and told him exactly how you felt. That was your forever home, the place where you wanted to grow old and gray with Jean, the place where you wanted to start a family..that was where your future was. You turned around for a split second and when you turn back to face Jean, he proposed.

You didn’t even let him finish talking. You knew you wanted to marry Jean for years. Even before Eren.

Even after a year of him proposing to you, you still think about every single word Jean said. He said the same exact thing you were thinking while walking through the house. His dream was your dream.

The wedding was around the corner and you couldn’t wait. It was going to be a small wedding. You and Jean just wanted something simple. You both agreed that the memories were more important than the big wedding.

As you, Mikasa, and the rest of your friends leave after drinking one too many mimosas, you accidentally bump into someone. You instantly apologize, looking up to see the man who broke you in ways you thought couldn’t be fixed. This was the actual time you bumped into him. “Y/N?” Hearing your name leave his lips sounded like poison. It’s the one voice that still haunts you.

You started to feel sick, feeling bile rising up your throat. His eyes inched towards your taken hand. You couldn’t find words. There were so many things you wanted to say..but, it wasn’t worth your time. Jean helped you move on, he put you back together when you couldn’t find the pieces. Eren took a piece of you that you were still trying to find..even after all these years. You slowly back away, calling out his name once.

You walk past him linking your arm with Mikasa’s, “I’m sorry.” The two words stop your movement, you turn around for a split second, feeling Mikasa giving you and encouraging squeeze. “You’re not sorry, Eren. You never were..you ruined me. Y-You used me, cheated on me, fucking tore my heart into pieces.” You walked closer to him, “You don’t get to apologize, you piece of lowlife scum, I hope you rot.”

Before he could say another word, you turned away linking your arm with Mikasa’s. You feel good. A smile spread on your face, “You feel good, y/n?” You nod, feeling a sense of relief fuel your veins.

You never really got closure and that was something you struggled with for the longest. You still don’t understand why he cheated on you. The countless therapy sessions helped for a short period of time. But, this is your closure. You said what you said, and you feel good. This is what you needed to open the next chapter of your life.

As you walk into your stunning house, you were immediately greet by the newest addition to your family, Remi. She’s a french bulldog you and Jean adopted when you moved into the house. She lights up your world. You and Jean are so grateful for her. After greeting your pup, you were greeted by your fiancee.

You give him a soft kiss, feeling his hands on your waist, instantly feeling like you’re home. “How was brunch?” A smile spread on your face as you take off your coat, “It was a lot of fun! I wish you were there though.” You said as you were taking off your heels.

“Yeah, I wish I went too. Connie is having a late dinner later to have a pre-celebration for tomorrow.” You roll your eyes with a smile, “Make sure you don’t drink too much, Jean.” A chuckle leaves his throat, giving you another kiss on the cheek.

As you both walk towards the kitchen, you were thinking about how to tell Jean about your interaction with Eren.

He opens the cabinet when you broke silence, “I bumped into Eren.”

Jean turns around, placing both of his hands on the counter, “What happened? Did he do anything?” You shake your head, as a small smile spread on your face, “I got closure, Jean. I feel good.” You went onto telling him what you said and you both ended up laughing. You don’t have a mean bone in your body. So, telling him what you said made the both of you laugh.

“I’m proud of you, y/n.” The four words made tears run down your cheek. Yet again, even after all these years, Jean is there to catch every single tear. “I’m glad you finally got the closure you’ve been searching for.” You wrap your arms around his waist, “Me too. I feel like I can let go of that chapter of my life.”

Tomorrow was the start of a new chapter.

Although you know your next chapter won’t be picture perfect, you were okay with that. As long as you had Jean on your side, you knew that it would be your version of picture perfect. And, that’s all you needed.

As you’re walking down the isle, you think about everything you (and Jean) have been through to get to this moment.

In a sense, you were grateful that everything happened, because it led you here, marrying your best friend, and you couldn’t imagine life go any other way. Jean has taught you that love is real, you just have to find the right person. Life has a funny way of showing love, it’s like a road to describe it the least.

Life and love are both bumpy roads, there’s all these bumps, cracks, unexpected turns, things that get in your way. But, once you get past that, the road is smooth and clear.

Today, you’re marrying your soulmate, your other half, your best friend, & you couldn’t wait to finally be Mrs. Kirstein.

Jean didn’t lie when he said you were his. Since that day, he never left your side. He was there for everything. Every doubt, every cry, everywhere you least expected him to be.

The six words you’ve been waiting for years for finally approached, “You may now kiss the bride.” Jean kissed you like your life depended on it..just like the first time he kissed you. The kiss that makes you feel like you're on cloud nine, the kiss that makes time go by slowly, the kiss that makes all the others seem non-existent.

“I told you, you were always mine, y/n.” He whispered against your lips. A bright smile spread on your face. It was just you and him. You zoned out the crowd, as if time was going in slow motion. You stare into his eyes and see your future. You place your thumb under his eyes, collecting the tears that he’s always done for you.

Inching your lips towards his, feeling the same emotions as his. You whisper, “Forever and always yours.”

The end.

🏷️: @betterwinter @moonlight445sblog @linglingisyutabiased @takspv @imaninfjbiherself @levisstainedunderwear @cafesho @Unicornlover25 @mocha-focha @Mochaxfocha @szna @yeagerfushiguro @twiixiies @haitanihime @Crazytyphoon @the-sun-baby

Finishing note: thank you so much for all the love in broken promises! It’s been two years since I posted it and it’s still one of my favorites. I am very happy with how it ended. There were some bits and pieces in here that I took from my actual life. Remi is true!! She’s my baby🫶🏻..plus some breakup scenes were from my breakup😭. Anywhos, I hope to be able to get back into writing soon :)

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blissfullyapillow · 11 months

Text

┃It’s always you

₊˚⊹♡Jing Yuan x gn reader

₊˚⊹♡‎wc: 2,357~

₊˚⊹♡warnings: suicide (reader), angst with a happy ending, death & rebirth, soulmate au type beat

₊˚⊹♡notes: I’ve been obsessing over Blade lately but Jing Yuan remains to be the OG lmao. On a serious note: I rediscovered the song Back 2 You by Selena Gomez during a time of emotional turmoil and.. voila. I originally wasn’t going to upload this. I was gonna scrap it or just keep it for me, for personal use, but I decided to post it after I revised it. I wrote this for personal reasons I will not delve into, but I hope this helps someone else as much as it helped me. You’re loved, and there’s always someone out there who will listen, understand, and love you. I promise. ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚

₊˚⊹♡Main Masterlist

Jing Yuan’s experienced many relationships before, ranging from platonic to romantic in nature.

Yet the end of said relationships failed to pierce his heart as deeply as his heartbreak for you.

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝

He still remembers that day vividly.

Your slumped figure sitting in a pool of your own blood, with a letter loosely held in your cold hands.

The rest of the scene became a blur, as his vision became clouded with tears.

a rare occurrence for a man like Jing Yuan.

He partly blamed himself, even though he knew your actions weren’t a reflection or a result of his own actions or feelings.

his heart lurched as a broken sob racked his trembling form. Still, he gently removed the beautiful parchment from your lifeless hand to scour your last words.

your written declaration of love and gratitude, for him, brought a self-deprecating smile to his lips. Your words are so powerful and moving, yet your body lay lifeless before him.

He takes a shuddering breath as his eyes slowly trail up your slumped figure. his fingers curl around your letter as his heart stops.

The sight of a dagger plunged deeply into your chest, directly into your heart, is all it takes for his soul to cry in agony.

His throat constricts, and his lungs fail to adequately exchange oxygen, yet…

He refuses to look away; he does not dare to tear his eyes away from the love of his life, even in her demise.

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝

Jing Yuan never hid from the public eye. Even with the tragic, countless losses his heart continued to endure, he never resided in solitude for long.

…

Your death was the first time he remained in seclusion.

He knows you belong to the Vidyadhara, a humanoid race, so your body will be repaired.

but..

Your memories of him, of the time you two spent together, will not remain.

He doesn’t even know if he’ll encounter you again in his lifetime, but the possibility is high.

So, he waits.

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝

After Jing Yuan’s long period of seclusion following your death, he resumed work.

On a particularly slow day Fu Xuan stopped by to see the general of the Luofu. She knew of your fate, and although she was loath to admit it she was concerned for the general.

When she saw that lazy smile on his lips, she almost chided herself for being worried.

That is, until she realized his smile didn't meet his eyes.

She entertained small talk with the general as contemplated how to broach her concerns with the grief-stricken general. As the conversation slowly trailed off, she steeled herself.

The Master Diviner braced herself for backlash as she gave the general unsolicited advice… albeit from the goodness of her heart; the general is a sloth at times, much to her annoyance, but she truly did wish him well.

So, with that in mind, she cautioned him that if he were to meet your reincarnation he should not engage and move on.

Even as his lazy smile morphed into a deep rooted frown, she continued on. She informed him that there’s no guarantee your fate will differ from your past life, even if you two reunite.

Although Fu Xuan’s words struck a nerve, he knew she was coming from a good place.

After a brief farewell he watched her retreating figure. He considered her advice despite his reluctance.

Though it pained him to admit it, her words were not ill advised.

Maybe.. he should try to move on.

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝

He tried to heed Fu Xuan’s warning.. in his own way.

He attempted another relationship, but shortly broke it off.

He deemed it a fruitless endeavor since his thoughts were filled with you as he was lying beside someone else. He’d hate to be inauthentic, so he did what was best for him and his brief companion.

It feels like millennia pass by as he moves through the motions. His duties as general serve as a welcome distraction for his desolate heart.

Now, his droopy eyes rove over words that seemingly blur together as he reaches the end of the document. Once his signature is elegantly signed on the bottom of the document, he leans back in his seat to indulge in a brief moment of rest.

His sleep addled brain immediately thinks of you, as it usually does.

He reminisces about his very first encounter with you.

He had made a visit to a bookstore with hopes of finding an engaging book that could be a much needed distraction from work.

Preferably, a book about cats.

He took his time to scan the vast array of books the store had to offer. His eyes lit up with unbridled joy as he found what he was looking for.

He reached for the book, but before he could grasp it someone bumped into him from behind. When he turned around, there you were.

Your eyes were glazed over. It was obvious you were daydreaming about something and your mind was elsewhere. It took a few moments, but your eyes came into focus.

As your anxious orbs stared into his eyes, he winked at you.

He laughed at your flustered reaction; you began to apologize profusely as you tried to look anywhere but at him.

He didn’t know it at the time, but he would grow fond of your clumsy actions.

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝

Subconsciously, a smile forms on his lips as he remembers the adorable smile you graced him with when he dismissed your apologies.

In contrast to his smile, a pained sigh leaves his lips. He’s struggling to recall the name of the bookstore.

After you died he avoided going anywhere near that bookstore. He physically couldn’t handle walking down that path, that same path you used to always accompany him on.

To those close to him, it was fairly obvious that your death impacted him greatly. Unfortunately they could only do so much to alleviate their general’s heartache.

Jing Yuan hated Yanqing’s blatant concern when he purposely took the long way back to his office. Even so, Jing Yuan continued to avoid the route all together, for many years.

He evades it to this day.

He forces his heavy eyes to open, staring at nothing as he tries to snuff his beautiful memories of you.

…

….

He slowly puts the signed document down with a despondent groan.

It’s no use.

For some reason, he can’t stop thinking about that bookstore.

…it feels like he’s forgetting something important.

His mind reels as he desperately tries to recall the name of the bookstore. His eyebrows crease in concentration once the name of the bookstore is on the tip of his tongue.

Come on Jing Yuan, it shouldn’t take you this long to-

Ah, he remembers now.

Jing Yuan looks down at the paper as he mindlessly fiddles with it. He doesn’t know why, but he feels compelled to visit the bookstore once more after so many years. However, with every fiber of his being, he tries to quell the urge. His finger taps against his knee as his leg bounces.

He detests how easily he wants to give in.

He’s avoided the store for years, so why does he-

…

Wait.

He shoots up from his seat.

He’s quick to scan the document he signed until he finds the date. Once his eyes land on their target, he feels the air leave his lungs like someone punched him.

Ah.

It’s the day you…

He takes a sharp intake of breath. His knee resumes bouncing as his heart pounds against his chest.

He moves abruptly, heading for the door.

Some papers flutter off his desk due to his erratic movements. He pays no mind to the wayward documents as he swiftly leaves his office.

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝

Jing Yuan finds himself walking down a road he hasn’t set eyes on in years. The esteemed man admires laughing children and busy salespeople as he walks down the familiar path.

It feels like a weight is lifted from his chest as he continues to walk. A tentative smile reaches his lips as he draws closer to the bookstore.

His heart threatens to burst from his chest as the sign comes into view so he stops walking to take a deep breath.

He closes his eyes and centers himself.

He focuses on the sounds of life around him; His trained ears pick up the sound of laughter, of footsteps that rush past him, of a baby babbling…

Once he’s composed himself he completes his journey to the bookstore.

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝

Honestly, he’s fond of this bookstore. It is where he first met you after all.

He leisurely peruses the books in stock as he smiles at the seller. They gaze at him curiously with a tentative smile in silent reply. They’re obviously surprised that the General of the Cloud Knights is here to pay a visit to their bookstore.

He scans the selection one more time. When he doesn’t find anything of interest, he says his farewell to the shop owner.

He did what he came here to do. He’s proud of himself for walking down this route after so much time has passed. He feels the best he ever has in years.

This was a healing experience for him.

He turns around, ready to return to the many documents that await his approval and revision. He unwittingly bumps into someone during his haste, and blood rushes to his cheeks as he quickly apologizes.

The person stumbles backwards, but he’s quick to reach out and steady them. His eyes quickly scan the figure as he opens his mouth to apologize once again, and..

Oh.

Oh my.

The words die in his throat.

His heart leaps out of his chest and into the hands of the beautiful person in front of him.

You.

He knows it’s you; your pretty features are permanently engraved in his memory.

Your expression is one of surprise, yet a subconscious smile, reminiscent of a past life, graces your beautiful lips.

His mouth parts in shock as his skin runs cold. He releases you to subtly wipe his clammy hands on his pants.

He regrets letting go of you immediately.

Your head tilts as you stare at him, and an ethereal smile presents itself on your lips.

The same lips he dreams about every night.

The same lips he achingly yearns to kiss once more.

He instinctively tilts his body in your direction.

“General!? It’s a pleasure to meet you! Am I in your way? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

His Adam's Apple bops as he tunes out the rest of your words. His eyes remain zeroed in on your lips. They only look up when your lips stop moving.

Golden eyes blatantly admire the sparkle of amusement in your gorgeous orbs.

He longs to pull you into his arms; he’s missed you so much. He was uncertain if he’d ever meet you again, and he didn’t know he’d do if he did.

He hopes you aren’t facing the same struggles you previously were. If you are, he won't hesitate to do everything in his power, and more, to prevent the same outcome from occurring.

“I.. I missed-“

His voice… it’s..

Strained.

Hoarse.

In desperate need of water.

He coughs into his fist as an embarrassed blush graces his cheeks. In his urgency to reconnect with you, he forgot that you won’t remember him. You don’t know him since you’ve clearly molted, and everyone knows the memories of the Vidyadhara unfortunately don’t carry over.

But oh he hopes you’ll spend this lifetime you have with him.

All of it.

So he settles for an elated smile. His heart flounders in your hands when you visibly become flustered; you look down as a shy smile manifests itself on your divine lips.

He falls in love with you all over again.

Oh, how he loves you.

“Don’t worry that pretty head of yours over it, I’d hate to see a frown mar those ravishing lips. The fault lies with me. ..As a way for me to amend my mistake, why don’t you accompany me on a walk?” His velvety voice makes you swoon, and you fail to hide how giddy you feel.

With a knowing smirk he offers his arm to you, but you hesitate to accept his offer.

“Are you sure, General? I may not own anything of interest, but I’m sure I can-“ “Oh, but you do. Please, indulge me.” His eyes bore into yours, and you see a glint of… something.. within them. You aren’t sure what it is.

Although his words leave you confused, you oblige. Your arm wraps itself snugly in his and your body moves closer to his own.

His eyes water with unshed tears as he fails to mask his euphoria. His wobbly smile is the last thing you see before he hides his face from your view.

You remain none the wiser to the tear that managed to escape.

As you both walk up the road he’s avoided for years, his gaze trails back to you once more. He chuckles at the flagrant jubilation on your enchanting face. You were always bad at masking your emotions around him.

He initiates a conversation with you, and it isn’t long before he’s blessed with your melodious laugh.

He hopes that he’ll be able to revive the object of interest that you own.

His heart.

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝

As the years go by you grow close to Jing Yuan once more. You successfully revive his previously shattered heart, and you make him the happiest man in the universe when you agree to marry him. You remain by each other’s side for eternity, and in this lifetime of yours he’s proud to say he was able to grow old with you.

P.S: He always reunites with you after you molt, and you two continuously fall in love with each other in every life that you have.

There’s no one else he’d rather spend his immortality with than you.

#jing yuan x reader #jing yuan x you #jing yuan x gn reader #honkai star rail x gender neutral reader #honkai star rail x you #honkai star rail x reader #jing yuan x reader angst #jing yuan reader insert #honkai star rail reader insert

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emmitaaa4 · 1 month

Text

Azriel, you beautiful, complex man.

Anyone else ever lay awake at night thinking that it’s not that Azriel wants a mate, any mate: it’s that he believes only a mate—only someone who was meant to love him—could love him ?

Do you ever think about the fact that Azriel’s visceral response to Elain looking up at him with trust & hope, was to believe that there was no possible way she could ever look at him that way if she knew the things he’d done and been forced to do? If she knew that his scarred hands mirrored his marred soul? Yet we know Elain has never balked from him and has only ever seen beauty in his scars; in who he is.

Do you ever think about the way Azriel feels this need to prove himself useful—which is why he so clings to his titles and his job—for if he is needed, he cannot be abandoned?

Do you ever want to shout from the rooftops that Azriel is so much more than this « darkness » he cloaks himself in, and that he doesnt need someone to heal him & « handle his darkness ». Healing, for Az, does not mean fighting & ‘killing’ his demons, it means being at peace with himself & learning to live with them without needing to mask who he is. He needs to begin to believe that there is darkness and light in him to love.

Does your heart ever squeeze when you understand that allowing yourself to be loved, first means bearing yourself to another & willingly risking being hurt ? It requires an unparalleled level of emotional vulnerability from him. You ever realize that Az uses his shadows as an emotional crutch, that he so carefully masks his expressions, yet it takes but a look for Elain to read him? He, who finds his strength & perseverance in hope, found his match in her gentle, hopeful heart—and he physically has to keep himself apart from her, only allowing himself to act upon his feelings when she made the first move. Entitlement where?

Truly, how has the fandom decided that Azriel, who follows the sound of Elain’s laugh, who listened to her when no one else would & didnt let her be misunderstood, who trusted her with TT so she could protect herself & those she loves, who stayed up past 3am as she spoke of her passions, who made everyone wait for her to eat, who chooses to sun his wings next to her in peaceful, quiet company… is an entitled, flaky male that sees her as nothing but a sexual distraction?

Do people really not realize what it means for him to question the Cauldron, question the very core of his beliefs?

1) It is not his feelings he questions:

His mind is tortured by thoughts of Elain, so much so he can’t sleep;

They do not need words to communicate, indicating familiarity & understanding;

He IS showing more than “just lust”, it’s clear from their interactions since the first trilogy. There was something there before Nessian happened.

2) Not only does he believe himself unworthy of her, but that sentiment is reinforced by the fact that the Cauldron “broke the pattern”. I do not see the entitled man the fandom speaks of. What he is is a deeply traumatized man, who was abused as a boy by the people who were meant to love him & protect him.

The popular thought that Az would fold for a mate, regardless of who she (or he) is, is truthfully not attractive, not to mention that it implies he’d only risk love for a “guaranteed” happy ending.

=> “Az wants a mate therefore give him a mate” is counterproductive to his growth (tho to clarify, i am not saying he should not have a mate, just that there is a way the story should be told.)

We have seen him plan for snowball fights & tactical missions, yet never for his future: not with Elain—again, he never even actually allowed himself to consider pursuing her—but not in any other sense either:

Children? he tells Cass he doesnt know if he wants any—has he ever let himself imagine having a child? A house ? he has no place to himself. Remember that even after 500 years of existence, Az says he still does not know where he belongs?

Could you not imagine two people who make themselves what others need them to be, being brave enough to bare those hidden, repressed parts of themselves to the other. Can you not see the growth it would require from both of them should they give themselves a chance? To, on one hand, choose the other despite what is expected & the problems it would cause, and on the other, be vulnerable enough to receive that love & believe yourself worthy of it.

Love doesnt care for convenience. It could all go to hell but at least they’d know they had tried, and i do not see how that could ever make for a boring, 2 dimensional story.

#azriel #azriel shadowsinger #pro azriel #elain archeron #i love him and her and them #elriel #pro elain #azriel bonus chapter #acosf bonus chapter #acosf #acotar #azriel acotar

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frankcastleonlyfans · 2 years

Note

Here we go again (:

Dad!Daemon and the little moments of domestication between him and mom!reader

1. Their first moment of peace and lonesome together since having three kids and how much they realize they’ve been longing to just hold each other and relax

2. Conversations had as they ready for bed. What do they say as Daemon is stripping the bed and reader styles her hair for bed in her vanity

3. Slight touches and quick kisses as they pass each other in the hallway/kitchen/garden etc busy with home duties and kids

4. One saving the other from a near breakdown as they become overwhelmed with the hectic emotions of three children and meeting all their needs after one parent has been gone all day

5. Etc

I’m just a sucker for the domesticated life and the good/bad moments that come from it.

𝟓 𝐌𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐔𝐒

pairing: dad!daemon targaryen x mom!reader au

warnings: LOTS of fluff, a little angst, descriptions of sex at the end SO THIS IS 18+

author's note: I don't know why I made number 3 a headcanon. I just did.

reblogs, feedbacks and likes are appreciated. support your content creators 💓 enjoy your reading.

gif by @hopemikaelsongf

· ┈┈┈┈┈┈ · ୨♡୧ · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·

1. recomforting moments.

Taking a long, deep and relaxing breath, you closed the door behind her. The whole crying stopped, there was no children calling for her, there was no screams and whines to be heard. You were finally in peace.

"Having a tough day, aren't you?" You heard Daemon's voice, startling you from the relaxation state.

"You can't even imagine..." You sighed.

Laid in your shared bed, Daemon opened his arms and called for his wife. You grew a smile, nestling yourself onto his huge body. Daemon wrapped his arms around you, and left a kiss on top of your head. The prince couldn't remember the last time he held you like this. You felt like you had visited the Seven Heavens all at once.

"Rest now," Daemon whispered as his lips brushed against your temple. "I got you."

2. keeping up moments.

"...I'm telling you, love, that girl is so weird." You said between giggles while braiding your hair.

Daemon chuckled, dressing his upper body in a white linen shirt. The prince tried to pay attention to his wife's gossip moments, as you did not have many friends to talk in the court, besides Rhaenyra, who lived on Dragonstone.

"You said she was talking to a spider?" Daemon frowned his forehead, as he stripped the bed and fluffed the pillows.

"Yes, and then she killed it! There's something really wrong with Helaena." You remembered.

Daemon stared at you, in your little golden nightgown, and braids that fell on your shoulder. He never went tired of looking at you, not with lust and desire, but love. His eyes overflowed pure and genuine love.

"Can I braid your hair?" You asked, taking the prince out of his trance.

"Now?" Daemon snorted, smirking while you got closer to him.

"Yes!! Ooh, you gonna wake up so handsome with a wavy hair!" The princess pecked her husband's lips, making him immediately blush.

3. missing moments.

Looking at each other across the rooms was something that slightly ached your heart most of the time. You hated being away from Daemon.

But he'd always gives you his signature smirk, that would quickly melt your ached heart.

Passing each other across hallways was harder.

Daemon would always have someone with him, so you'd have to behave yourself.

He would purposely brush the back of his hand on yours, just to tease you.

Your eyes would immediately close as you lost your breath and your heart skipped a beat to his touch.

Even yourself couldn't believe the effects your husband had on you.

Daemon's favorite thing was to catch you off-guard.

When you'd walked alone, he would be waiting for you, hiding in corners, just to grab you by the waist and passionately meet your lips.

"I hate when you do that!" You'd say, breathless, as Daemon's lips met the exposed skin of your neck.

"I know."

4. hard moments.

Daemon asked himself, for the fiftieth time in the last five minutes, "why did I say yes?". You were out the whole day, having a "ladies afternoon" with Rhaenyra as she visited King's Landing, and he offered himself to take care of the children.

Alyssa would not stop asking him to tell her stories, Rhaegon would not stop running around the room, and baby Maegon would not stop crying. This was one of those little times where Daemon hated his life.

"Stop!" Daemon yelled, making the baby cry even harder, "Rhaegon, you're grounded! And so are you Alyssa! I want you both in your beds before dusk!"

Not only Daemon had one crying baby, but now two children, sobbing and whining in his ear.

"What is happening here?" You said, taking all the attention to you. The children came running towards you and hugging your legs.

"No! I said I want you both in your chambers! Now!" Daemon yelled once more.

You frowned, watching the kids desperately run out of the room. You took Maegon out of Daemon's arms and hushed him until he stopped crying.

Daemon sat in the corner, watching you place the child in his crib. You walked to your husband and sat beside him.

"Are you okay, my love?" You asked, placing a comforting hand in his thigh.

Daemon took your small hand in his, and gave it a little squeeze.

"I'm sorry. I just– I don't know how you do this every day... I couldn't bear staying with all of them for another ten minutes." He sighed and you kissed his tample.

"It's okay, I'm here now." Your hands wrapped his upper body, taking him closer to you.

5. loving moments.

As your fingers danced through his silver platinum hair, you left slightly kisses in his scalp. Listening to you humming a sad ballad, Daemon closed his eyes and focused on your soft touch on his head. You ran the strands under each other, making a braid the style he liked.

"Are you sleeping, my love?" You asked, looking at Daemon through the mirror in front of you both.

"Almost." He hummed, "I could easily sleep to your touch. It's like you're magical."

You smiled, pecking his lips when he looked up to face you. The little kiss quickly turned into something more.

Daemon took your hand and guided you to the bed, where you made love. It was slow and passionate, something you never had before in your years of marriage. You could feel how much Daemon missed this kind of attention. He kissed every part and corner of your body, groaning softly in your ear as he moved slowly inside of you. It had been so long since the last time, that you had forgotten how it felt to be desired.

He made sure to finish out of you, and finish you right after. He kissed between your thighs, going all the way up to your stomach, the place that once protected and created his children, and finally reached your mouth. Your faces were close, his lips touched your forehead, cheeks and nose. Daemon couldn't stop contemplating you.

"Avy jorrāelan." Daemon whispered.

"Avy jorrāelan tolī."

#daemon targaryen #daemon targaryen x reader #daemon targaryen x oc #dad!daemon targaryen x mom!reader au #dad!daemon targaryen au #daemon targaryen imagines #house of the dragon imagines #house of the dragon

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moonbaby26 · 2 months

Text

Title: Sabaody Shakedown

(Chapter 2 of Doflamingo’s Marine Series)

*Crossposted to AO3 here* Reader/(Y/N) type: cis female marine

Pairings: Doflamingo x Reader as primary, Smoker x Reader is in the past, Aokiji/Kuzan x Reader is teased

Chapter Warnings: masturbation, rape, non-con, voyeurism, slavery, blood, language, violence, unprotected vaginal sex, breeding kink, handjob, references to previous virginity loss

Chapter Synopsis: After running afoul of Doflamingo in Mariejois a few weeks earlier, he’s now all you can think of. But you still didn’t expect to see him again this soon, and to even more complicated results.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3

———————————

You had understandably been in somewhat of a mental fog the next few days after returning to Marineford. Of course you kept up appearances as best you could. But it was such an odd feeling, holding this secret inside of what you’d done.

Your body was still aching, with you even having to wipe away small amounts of blood from between your legs in the bathroom or during a shower through the week. Doflamingo had torn you just enough that it still stung whenever you tried to make your daily laps or do your workouts in the gym.

You put your mind back into training as much as you could though, just waiting for Tsuru’s battleship to return and take you back out to sea again.

But even in those times where you may finally think of something else, there would always be some sort of reminder of him. Like the scab inside of your bottom lip burning against hot food whenever you’d tried to eat. That hidden wound still in the shape of the warlord’s bite within your mouth.

With your lips closed, your tongue tip still ran idly over that imperfection inside your mouth in a way that was almost becoming a bad habit.

In all honesty, the isolation of these confusing emotions felt similar to losing your virginity all over again. Even if that idea seemed ridiculous.

As sore as you were, as shell shocked, and as anxious that someone would discover and judge you for what you’d done…it was like figuring out sex all alone for the very first time again.

You’d bled significantly more on your true first time of course. But only because you’d still had an inexplicably thick hymen then. First torn by none other than Kuzan actually. A fact you hadn’t revealed even to Doflamingo exactly. You’d confessed to being with Aokiji before when pressed by the warlord. But not divulged that the now admiral was also your very first.

It was the real reason why Kuzan had gotten so nervous and ended things with you not long after that back then. Because he hadn’t realized you were a virgin until it was too late and you were bleeding and crying in his bed.

He hadn’t been an admiral then. And you hadn’t been underage, just inexperienced. But you’d still conned him a bit if you were being honest. Playing things up as if you were far more mature than you were. When you hadn’t actually been ready for that level of intimacy yet at all.

But by the time Smoker came along, you’d taken the time to practice with a few random, unthreatening marines here and there beforehand. It’d become a lot more natural by then. And you’d learned to actually enjoy and even look forward to sex over time.

But now Smoker was gone too and you were only left with whatever the hell this new poison was.

Because Doflamingo had raped you. Logically you knew that.

But you’d also felt more arousal in at least some of that than you could remember at any time with Smoker. It’d been like the adrenaline of battle mixed with making love.

Minus the love.

Yet even a man like Doflamingo had seemed a little bit human in those very small instances of vulnerability he’d shown.

And you kept remembering that, the times where his perpetual mask of a smile would slip away from him. If you could have only seen his eyes, you were certain there would have been something more there too in those brief moments.

But this is how you’d been for days now. Trying to go through your routines, and adjusting back to base life while waiting for your next sail date. You’d be in the offices, then at the gym, the mess hall, and then back to the barracks.

And you’d be thinking of that warlord all the while. Like a dark stain across everything, impossible to wash away as you now laid alone in your bed after yet another long shower.

Worst of all, even if it still hurt a bit, your fingers would slide between your open legs at times. Mostly gently though, and only over the top of your underwear while you rubbed yourself with all the lights off.

You were also attracted to the Heavenly Demon’s raw will, and the challenge of it all. There was no question in that.

Aokiji was likely still the stronger in pure power between the two men. But Doflamingo was so ruthless, so exacting. Where Aokiji could freeze an entire battlefield in one swing of his palm, Doflamingo would be the assassin’s bullet instead, straight through the heart and never predicted.

You now thought of the king of Dressrosa’s rich scent which you still remembered too well, and the vibrations of his dark laugh as he’d pressed his greedy mouth against you that day in Mariejois.

You moved your own fingers in a poor substitution for his as your stomach tightened in arousal. You could feel the fabric getting damp as your pressed a little harder through your underwear.

It was so goddamn wrong though. If you hadn’t still been healing, you would have been looking for something else to slide between your legs in this moment.

You wanted to feel full again already. You wanted his heavy weight against your body.

You breathed in quietly as you just had to use your imagination for the rest. Thinking of his voice, pretending it was there to taunt and coax you again as you massaged your own clit.

And what would he have thought of you shamelessly touching yourself for him? He’d be even more insufferable most likely. His ego was titanic enough already.

But there’s no way he would have left you to finish this all alone either. He would have been in this bed in an instant to partake as well.

So that’s what you kept focusing on to finally coax an orgasm out of yourself. Thinking of his hands desperate and grasping for you again, his breath panting, mouth biting, and hips pumping as he would have moaned for you once more.

Like a starving animal to a fresh kill. He’d let himself fully give in to what he’d wanted from you that day.

You grit your own teeth as you managed even a second orgasm as well before you’d finally let your muscles relax again. You were breathing a little harsher yourself in the dark by then. All this before you’d finally rolled back over. Then tightening the blankets around you in the absence of his body heat to warm you.

But closing your eyes didn’t erase what you still kept imagining. It was going to be a very long ordeal for you with each added night alone in these barracks. Without any other mission to focus on, it just brought out the worst in you now.

———————————

And another setback came a few days later. Early one morning when you were just getting dressed to go on a jogging run before officer meetings, your long distance snail had finally rang.

You’d been across your bedroom so fast to pickup that receiver. You knew assignments could come in the morning sometimes like this, and you’d felt so relieved to finally hear Tsuru-san’s voice again.

“Good morning.” She greeted you as normal.

“Good morning, Vice Admiral.” You’d practically been pacing the floor already though, stretching out the long phone cord as you did. “Has Amazon Lily been wrapped up?”

“For now.” She answered. Debriefings would come on that later you were sure. “I’m sorry I haven’t gotten to check in on you though.” She continued. “It’s been one thing after another. Sengoku did let me know you did well in the warlord meeting the other day.”

Of course she, Sengoku, and Garp could be like three peas in a pod. They’d come up through the ranks in the same generation together. Though both men got under Tsuru’s skin quite often, like troublesome siblings to her really.

“Have they decided to mobilize the marines to Charybdis though?” You still asked boldly anyway, wondering if everything you’d really sacrificed that day had come to bear any fruit.

“It’s still in discussion.” She replied.

“Oh,” Well that was disappointing.

“I’m sure we’ll get word in another month or so. Nothing like that moves quickly in Mariejois.” You could hear that slight comfort in her tone however. She wasn’t going to blame you if they rejected the proposal regardless. “But I can’t talk long I’m afraid. I wanted to let you know that we’re on our way to the West Blue now. They’re having a rebellion on Lyra that the government does want nipped in the bud.”

And at this your heart had absolutely sank.

“You’re not coming back then.” You stated the obvious. Not for several weeks anyway with that kind of mission and at that distance.

“I’m sorry. I know you hate being landlocked. But more so, I needed to tell you that I got a call recently from Vice Admiral Vergo from base G-5. He’s doing some cross training with the newer recruits for HQ. He’ll be in Marineford in a couple days. He wasn’t bringing his full crew, so he was looking for some help. How would you feel following him for a bit? I haven’t worked with him directly, but I’ve heard good things. He’s been very popular at G-5 at least.”

You were surprised of course. And it wasn’t like you should say no. An offer to work with another commander was always a good opportunity to learn something new. And to get your name out there even more if they might give you positive recommendations in the future.

But as much as you knew you couldn’t stay in Tsuru’s shadow forever, there was still a strangeness to ever being fully obligated to another leader. “I’ve never met him. But sure, I accept. I’ll help where I can while he’s here at HQ.”

“Then I’ll let him know. Thank you.” She answered easily, and you could already hear one of the other crew in the background. One of your friends confirming another a ship hailing them then. “I have another call,” Tsuru sighed. It’d obviously been hectic lately for them. “I’ll check in when I can.”

“Yes, ma’am.” You felt a bit jealous all the same though. Your usual group was off having new adventures without you.

But you could still hear that wry smile of hers on the other end. She always knew when you were struggling a bit, even if she didn’t know the full reason. “When I get back we’ll sit down and catch up truly, alright?”

“Yes.” Your voice changed a little more then. “That’d be good.”

She likely thought you were still upset over Smoker. Everyone knew about that by now. But one of those late night talks over coffee or tea with Tsuru about anything would have done you a world of good right now.

Even if you couldn’t tell her the name of the real man you were currently so hung up on.

It sure wasn’t anyone named Smoker.

——————————

At least with a new task in mind, you’d had something else to focus on. By the day Vice Admiral Vergo was supposed to arrive though, even that morning on base had been a little bit strange.

You’d just been in the mess hall having breakfast. And a familiar, if not a bit too casual “Hey,” above you had had you looking up from your food and daily news coo paper.

You still had some oatmeal in your mouth actually as Admiral Aokiji sat down directly across from you and his food tray touched against your own.

“Hey,” you’d answered just as awkwardly, after swallowing anyway.

“Any good new bounties?” He asked by way of small talk, trying to open a sugar packet for his coffee.

“Nope.” But you watched him still, sure he would have already known if there were any exciting new pirate targets out there for you all.

And you waited. Talk just for the sake of talk wasn’t really your thing.

But he was in no hurry either as he stirred his coffee and yawned once naturally.

You remembered then just how hard it was for him to get up early in the mornings and get going. And you tried not to eventually give in, but failed as you pushed your newspaper over to him as old habit.

He’d always liked reading your paper instead of just getting his own back then when you’d very briefly roomed together.

Lazy justice indeed.

“I’m still mad at you. In case you were wondering.” You finally said as you watched him as he read the news.

“I figured.” He answered, sipping his coffee as his eyes stayed on the latest happenings in the paper for a while.

Yet he had looked back up eventually. His voice was a little kinder then. “You feeling any better?”

You shrugged. “I didn’t think I’d get stuck here for this long. Does Smoker want his stuff back from my room yet or something?”

You realized now that that was the most likely reason for the admiral’s sudden appearance. He usually didn’t make the effort to talk with you one on one anymore. At least he hadn’t when you were still dating Smoker, because rumors spread so fast through gossip hungry marines.

Too much friendliness and they’d all assume you and Aokiji were a thing again.

“I’m sure he’s thinking about it. But if you just put it out on a cart at some point, I can stash it in my office until he’s back here again.” Aokiji conceded, yet also clarified. “Yet that’s not why I’m up this early.”

“Yeah?” You questioned, kind of wishing he’d just get to the point then.

“I just wanted to apologize. That’s all.” He said it simply, those dark brown eyes of his watching you.

And for a moment you thought you saw something close to pity in those eyes. Which you really didn’t like either of course. “I’m fine. You didn’t ice burn me that bad.”

“I tried not to.”

“I know.” It would have been much worse if he’d really been going all out.

“Akainu was on my ass some too of why I didn’t report you and Smoker both.” He added. “You should probably avoid that other admiral for a while. He’ll be looking for any reason to write you up.”

“Wonderful.” You sighed, knowing all too well that Akainu was an unforgiving, ‘might makes right’ kind of man himself. But if he was annoyed with you, it was likely more the fact that you’d been fighting in Mariejois itself rather than anything else. Putting marine dirty laundry out in front of the gods like that and all.

You and Aokiji were both quiet for a while again after. It was a calm aura though. You’d let your guard back down by then and were just finishing your oatmeal and fruit while he was working on a bagel he’d smeared with cream cheese.

Literally nothing was happening at your table but that, and yet as the mess hall had become more crowded you saw a few heads turning your way already. It was so stupid, but you guessed it was mostly just because his much higher rank. Simply sitting with you so close and casual, it was still making other sailors take second and even third looks at the scene.

Surely the narrative was going to be that your slutty self was already trying to bag Aokiji again. Literally just days after losing Smoker of course. And just as you’d been thinking how unfair those assumptions really were, Aokiji himself had to go and throw the ultimate wrench into it all.

“You want to get something to eat in the civilian district tonight?” He asked, just as casually as anything.

As if that wasn’t like detonating a new bomb in your psyche.

When you stared back at him, he wasn’t even uncomfortable either. Maybe he simply wasn’t seeing this the way that you were.

“I know you hate being stuck here. I can invite whoever else too if you want to make a group thing out of it. There’s this new karaoke place they opened over there. I’ve heard they’ve got really good sushi and a hell of a bar.”

“I’m supposed to meet up with Vice Admiral Vergo today.” You said initially in absence of any better excuse.

Which he deflected easily actually. “Yeah, I heard he’s wanting to head to Sabaody just for the day. You’ll be back by tonight.”

Was he really just that worried about you that he thought you needed the forced socialization though? Or was it something else?

Regardless, whatever it was only got stranger though. Because you’d seen a little commotion at the main doors now.

A tall, dark haired marine had entered. He had a sharply trimmed beard and black sunglasses, as well as a small entourage of lower rank sailors all attentive around him.

You’d never seen him here before, so you were pretty sure exactly who he must be before the weirdest thing happened.

He’d looked in the direction of your table. And you saw his expression change. Not to say he was all that expressive to begin with. But you caught it. If only for a single second that he’d had a completely different look.

Was it one of disapproval or maybe even concern?

And he had made an absolute bee line to get to you both.

Whatever that odd energy was though, you saw even Aokiji straighten up, no longer slouching when the man came up on him from behind.

Yet the stranger’s voice was perfectly normal as he spoke. “Good morning, Admiral. May I join you?”

Aokiji had looked up in a little surprise, yet recognizing the other man as he nodded. “Vice Admiral Vergo, good morning. And yes of course. I was just talking to the Captain here.”

“I saw,” Vergo replied, head turning to give full attention to you then. “Captain (Y/N)? Vice Admiral Tsuru had recommended you for some help I’ll need while I’m here at HQ. If it’s alright, I’m actually ready to sail to Sabaody this morning if you’re done here. You were the one I was looking for.”

The sudden rush to leave when he’d literally just got here was bizarre to you too. Though it’s not like you couldn’t just agree. He would be in charge of you for now.

“Nice to meet you, sir.” You just nodded, though already picking up any trash of yours as clearly your breakfast was now over. “Yes, I’m ready to set sail. I’m at your disposal.”

“Good.” Vergo responded, already standing again then.

You stood too, ready to put away your tray and follow him.

But Aokiji spoke up one more time before you or Vergo could walk away.

“Have fun at the archipelago then. Let me know about dinner when you’re back. Okay?”

And again, it was just friendly, typical Aokiji in tone at least. But you felt strange as you’d seen Vergo hesitate slightly in front of you at the admiral’s words.

None of that new tension made any sense. So you just smiled without knowing what else to do. “Yeah, I’ll let you know, Admiral. See ya later.”

———————————

True to his word, Vergo really had been ready to sail. Because it hadn’t been long at all before you were standing on the bow of his ship then, watching the gates of Marineford open once more.

He was near your side as well as he explained the morning’s objectives. “I’ve agreed to take new recruits to Sabaody for patrols there today. They need to practice being in uniform and interacting with the citizens. This will be a diverse enough environment to do that in.”

Even though Sabaody could be very interesting when there off duty at least, just patrolling it with a bunch of newly enlisted sounded frankly boring.

Though it was still pretty satisfying to at least see the ocean again and hear the sails opening further in the wind as Vergo continued.

“But I have a separate job for you too.”

“Sir?” Of course you’d perked up a little at that. Something hopefully more interesting than babysitting the rookies at least.

“I pulled the latest certifications and it turns out our inspections of the ‘Employment Office’ in grove 1 are a couple months past due. Can you handle that for me?”

You stared a moment, but didn’t dare decline. Of course you could handle it. But it didn’t mean you wanted to set foot in that awful place if you didn’t have to. “I’ll check in if that’s what you need done. But are they selling today?” You still asked, hoping that answer would be a no.

“I don’t know.” He answered though, black sunglasses just looking at you with no real expression again.

“Well…” You weren’t familiar with Vergo well enough to know how you were supposed to word this. “When it is a selling day, there could even be a Celestial Dragon there. Am I permitted to find any violation that could possibly delay an auction that they might be attending?”

“What you do is up to you.” He responded just as vaguely though. Not seeming to give it any thought at all. “That’s why I’m asking you to handle it.”

“Yes, sir.” You answered back without displaying how unhelpful you thought he was being. Maybe you really were just too used to Tsuru.

Because even a seemingly easy assignment like this could end up a disaster if you pressed either too much or too little in relation to whatever Vergo’s personal standards were. Yet apparently he wasn’t even going to tell you where his line was right now.

So you’d just have to wing it you supposed.

——————————

On paper, the marines officially referred to this building as the “Public Employment Security Office”. Of course far better known for what it really was as the Human Auctioning House. An unfortunate and still very legal fixture out front and center in grove 1 of Sabaody Archipelago as you’d walked all the way there after disembarking from the marine ship at the harbor.

Vergo and the others had spread out to other areas. So you were on your own here as you’d announced yourself to the guards at the back door.

They didn’t look particularly interested. But showing them your rank and marine card gave them no choice but to begrudgingly let you in. You didn’t care about any pageantry in the front of house, purposefully coming in the back. Yet only to immediately be hit with the smell of the cage area.

If anything was going to be against current regulations, you were sure it was going to be here in the “backstage” as you frowned.

The source of the smell was evident as there indeed was human stock in the cages to your unease. As much as you’d hoped this would have been an in between day where no one was yet being held for the next auction date.

Wonderful.

“The boss will be here in a minute. He had to make a call. We weren’t supposed to be having any inspections today.” Some lackey grunted at you as you started to look around while waiting.

“Legally we don’t have to give you any notice you know.” Though maybe that was part of why the place hadn’t been checked in a while per Vergo. Was it a true oops by your fellow marines, or an on purpose look the other way kind of thing?

You were guessing the latter by how much everyone seemed to be glaring through you even as an office door opened and another man finally came out.

“Well, this is awfully early to be getting my employees upset, don’t you think? I really don’t have the time for this, whoever you are.” The brightly attired man sneered a little at you. With a stupid looking hat and star shaped sunglasses on.

“Captain, (Y/N).” You corrected him. “And it smells like shit in here.”

The man immediately bristled even further at that, as if you were just the most vulgar brat he’d ever encountered. But you liked getting people like him even more on edge as quickly as possible. He wouldn’t be thinking straight to lie as easily to you. But he didn’t seem that smart anyway honestly.

“Well…that’s to be expected isn’t it with these animals?” And as he said so, he hit the cage bars in emphasis as to his disgust for the current inventory.

“You aren’t supposed to hold anyone in a legal auction site more than three days without the chance to properly clean themselves.” You responded as if you were only commenting on the weather though. Which was extremely difficult. But if you let your real emotions slip, you knew you’d just be wanting to wipe the floor with Mr. ‘Star Glasses’ and every guard in here.

You kept on too. “It’s really the bare minimum not to spread infection, as per the human trafficking amendments passed in the last reverie, Mr…who are you exactly?”

“Disco!” He almost yelled now. “And this is uncalled for! You’re supposed to schedule these inspections!”

“Yeah, well. That’s not what the law says either.”

“This is ridiculous.”

“It is.” You agreed as you continued to walk, watching the victims on the other side of the bars. It wasn’t that many really. Mostly human women today though, sitting on crates with their chains running to the wall behind them.

They wouldn’t even make eye contact with you though. And why should they? They knew the law here. A simple marine wasn’t going to be able to do a thing that would actually save them now.

The best you could do was just give this shithead as much grief as possible. Minor fines maybe, stupid things like not spacing their chains out far enough, or failing to clear enough crates away from the fire exit.

Which the idea of proper egress was laughable too of course, knowing only the workers would ever save themselves in any emergency. The slaves would just be left chained here to die.

Still, those kinds of slaps on the wrist had been your only real plan before you’d noticed a chain whose victim you could just see a hint of. They’d been small enough to fully disappear after too, cowering behind their crate as soon as they’d heard Disco’s voice berating you.

“Open this.” You said immediately at that, stopping then and there as your voice changed.

“What?” Disco scoffed. “Absolutely not!”

You glared back over your shoulder at him. “It wasn’t a request. Open the holding area. I want to inspect number 7.” You clarified in correspondence with the slaves’ numbered placards on the wall.

“Just who do you think you are!?”

His voice was so annoying to you. “Either use the keys or I take the keys.” And as you said this, you tightened your fist, letting a purposeful display of haki crackle briefly across it.

By the way he took a step back, he got the message finally. But he was still so high on himself. “Fine. Be a brute if you must. This will be the last time you’ll ever work in Sabaody again, Captain whoever you are!” He said it so mockingly. “Do you know who owns this place now!?”

But you were ignoring him by then. As one of the guards did open a gate in the bars and you walked in immediately to slave number seven’s holding place.

Disco was still bitching at you too as you quietly crouched on one knee to look behind that crate.

And you offered the softest smile you could manage, even though you could feel your blood already trying to boil.

“Hey there.” You told the young boy as he stared up at you with big fearful eyes. You’d thought you’d seen a hint of a tailfin too as you’d been walking, and you’d been right.

It was an extremely young merman. You’d guess only four or five years old honestly. His face was tear stained and clearly bruised as he still tried to make himself as small as possible under your gaze.

You didn’t want to frighten him anymore than he already was though. So you said nothing else to him even as you visually noted his partly emaciated look as well.

This wasn’t going to end well at all for anyone now. You already knew that as you finally stood again. Not when it came to literal children being in this hellhole. He was practically a baby for how short his fins still were.

And as you walked back out through the still open gate, your demeanor had gone fully cold.

“You’ve got underage product. You have to release him.” You said so confidently even as you were now mentally counting every guard, and weapon in your view.

It was something between a gasp and a laugh that escaped Disco at that. “You’re insane! And this is over! When my boss gets a hold of you, you stupid bitch-“

Your rope dart was off your shoulder in an instant, swinging as you let the flat side of the blade clock Disco hard enough to knock him right down onto his narrow ass.

Every guard had a gun pulled and aimed at you then.

But even they weren’t dumb enough to just start firing on a marine.

“Twelve is the minimum legal age for trafficking fishmen and merpeople.” You answered. But only even that much because of the newer restrictions that had just passed. “And if we want to play the ‘my boss is bigger than yours’ game, then alright. I can do that too.”

Your heart was pounding so hatefully and you knew you were about to lose control and beat all these guys into paste if you didn’t do something drastic like this.

You just prayed that the man you had in mind would actually answer as you pulled the small marine snail from your pocket. The big wigs at HQ you only needed to dial a three digit code for on a marine officer’s snail like this.

Of course you had his memorized as you keyed it immediately and everyone else could hear the snail trying to connect. And they were surprised into further silence as he did answer with a loud click.

“This is Admiral Aokiji…”

How big all their eyes then became told you you were now the one in control here.

“Hey, it’s me.” You replied, though doing your best not to sound too angry still. But you were also petty enough to really want to make these jerks sweat now that you had a higher authority in play. “Remember how you wanted to go get sushi tonight?”

Was Disco’s ‘boss’ he kept threatening you with friends with an admiral like you were? You wanted that slaver prick especially to understand all this.

“Yeah. When are you back? I’m off duty at 19 hundred.” He answered you so easily too. But he knew your voice inflections well, just like you knew his. You could tell he already sensed some kind of bullshit afoot. But he was still a team player enough to wait for you to explain the how or why.

“Well how about lunch in Sabaody instead?” You offered, watching the men around you spiral further by their expressions. “I’ve run into a little trouble here at the ‘Employment Office’. You’re on speaker by the way.”

“Ah.” He didn’t sound surprised at all about the trouble part at least. Nor did he care that they could already hear him. “You need backup then?”

“No, I think it’s okay. I’m just trying not to make a scene truthfully. They have an underage merman here that they don’t want to release. While I think they really should. What do you think, Admiral?”

You could about see the sweat running down Disco’s face now in the brief silence as Aokiji considered the question. The auctioneer had stood back up at some point from where you’d knocked him down earlier. But now looked like he may collapse again on his own here shortly.

Aokiji eventually spoke to them for you however, going into full marine protocol then. “This is Admiral Aokiji. Captain (Y/N) does have the authority to release individuals held below the legal age limit as per the last trafficking treaty amendments with the World Government.”

But he still finished with a more personal touch. You’d almost forgotten how much he did like to mess with you sometimes. “Also, more off the record, but she really has a soft spot for kids too. You’re barking up the wrong tree here, fellas. I’d let the boy go and cut your losses now if you don’t want her boot through your teeth. She’s got my permission to do what she has to.”

It always felt so good to win. “Thanks, Admiral. I think we’re done here.” You answered, properly satisfied.

“Alright. Call if you need me. It’s a paperwork kind of day, so I wouldn’t mind getting out. Sabaody isn’t far.” He said as one last threat to these men of course.

“Understood.” You were about to hang up too before he added.

“And I still want sushi. Let me know when you’re on your way back to base.”

You paused, and as out of place as it should have been here and now, you did truly smile before you could stop yourself. Because he was rarely this persistent. Of course you couldn’t remember the last time you’d called him direct either. It was a bit nostalgic.

“I’ll let you know. I’ve still got to see what else Vergo needs from me after this.” You answered him.

“Okay. See ya.” He agreed.

“Bye.” You finished, hanging up the snail to look back at Disco and his henchmen.

The looks on their faces were still some sort of mix between horror and amazement.

You were feeling pretty happy in that moment too, thinking you’d at least just saved a child while also preventing the political consequences of an all out brawl at a legal auction house.

But pride had been your weakness before. And that trend didn’t stop here today as you almost didn’t feel the touch when it finally happened.

It was as gentle as a cobweb ghosting across the back of your neck. And that was what you’d really thought it was. Just dusty refuse from the cavernous darkness of the rafters above.

Even Disco didn’t know what had happened at first. Your body had just stopped when you’d been walking to get the merboy’s keys from him. You could see the auctioneer’s face turn to confusion, much like your own as suddenly all your limbs were resisting you.

And even behind those ridiculous star shaped sunglasses, you saw his expression change to absolute shock not long after. Just as you heard a large something land directly behind you, the lurking predator pouncing down at last from out of the rafters.

“Boss!” Disco screeched, looking half between a heart attack and renewed hope as he stared up and over your shoulder.

But you already knew. That familiar flutter of fear was clear even before Doflamingo’s warm body pressed against your back and his hand ran around to grab your jaw from behind.

“Back for more so soon, (Y/N)?” He’d said it so goddamn enticingly too, just before he’d jerked your head backward painfully. An upside down, and very rough kiss then forced on you as you couldn’t pull away from him.

Your body wouldn’t listen at all below the neck as you felt the vibration of his laugh even as he squeezed your jaw to the point of bruising. His long tongue was then trying to force its way past your teeth again.

And the fools all around you were left in stunned silence yet again at this newest scene. It’d been an absolute rollercoaster of surprises for everyone in this room in just these last few minutes.

But when Doflamingo did finally end the kiss again, with a little string of spit breaking between your mouths as he pulled away, it was still Disco who had the audacity to speak first.

“I…I knew you were on the island, sir. But I didn’t know that you were already here. Who is…I mean, do you know her, sir?” Disco sounded like he was trying to understand, apologize, and beg for his life all at once.

“I wasn’t far when you called. Quit groveling.” Doflamingo just reprimanded him bluntly, but with those red sunglasses never looking away from you. “And yes, I more than know this bitch. Unfortunately.”

By his unhappy tone, you immediately remembered his threat from Mariejois as well. To never mess with his income again. But there’d been nothing on the record of the warlord being involved here. But goddamn Disco had said it earlier, hadn’t he?

Do you know who owns this place now!?”

Implying a more recent partnership between the two. But no, this was still utter bullshit. You hadn’t known. How could you have?

“Doflam-“ You tried to say. You wanted to argue at least. But his name didn’t even make it fully out of your mouth. His fingers had slid across your lips in one harsh swipe, coating them in thick string instead. String that he then pulled tight around the back of your head to gag and fully silence you.

“Too late, woman.” He grumbled, and there was a whole new venom to it now. “Come on, Disco…into the office and we’ll deal with this mess.”

Doflamingo was walking away from you then. He had one hand in his pocket again, but the other near his hip as his fingers moved. And as they did, so did your legs and feet. You were forced along behind him as the three of you entered Disco’s office and the door was slammed shut behind you.

“Get your ledger.” Doflamingo seemed to almost be ignoring you in the moments that followed too, glare focused on his underling instead. “How much did you pay the traders for that boy?”

You could tell in the flustered way that Disco now sat at his desk and started digging through drawers, that this wasn’t exactly going well for him either.

Carefully while those two were focused on each other though, you had tried to draw out your haki again. You weren’t sure how Doflamingo’s parasite ability truly functioned. You knew he’d attached something to your neck earlier, but was that all you had to break to be free of him?

Yet whatever this connection now was, he must have immediately felt your attempt at resistance against it. Because even though you’d barely done anything, he’d jerked his hand so violently in response that your body had slammed down to Disco’s desk with an audible cracking sound in the wood itself.

Disco gasped nearly as loud as that breaking sound when your chest hit his desk that hard. More papers were also knocked away when you were then forced to splay your hands out on either side of your head.

You couldn’t say any true curse of pain either with those strings still across your mouth.

But you were now fully bent over the desk. Your head near Disco who was seated there in shock, and your ass now tilted up as Doflamingo bent his own long legs just enough to get his pelvis even with the back of your skirt.

“I’m still waiting on that amount, Disco.” Doflamingo grumbled to snap the other man out of his staring even as you felt the warlord’s hands starting to rub your hips impatiently.

“Yes, um…well….it’s right here!” Disco finally exclaimed as he pulled the paper out of a stack of others deep within one of the drawers.

Doflamingo easily snatched the document from the other man’s hand. He was just holding it above your back as he read through it next, all the while still stroking your hip distractedly with his other hand.

“Feh. You paid too much. They ripped you off, you idiot.” The warlord scoffed after the quick read too, just tossing the paper to let it also flutter to the floor somewhere.

You could almost hear Disco swallow in a response of fear to that. Even as he tried to explain. “But it’s…relative to current market price, sir.”

“You’re going by last month’s prices!” Doflamingo growled again in return, making the other man shrink back even further. “It spiked last month, but it’s all down again now. And you bought him when it was already going back down. You should be fucking smart enough to anticipate those trends!”

The room was silent for a long moment following that latest outburst. And as disgusting as it was, both you and Disco had something briefly in common then. Because neither of you knew what to do or to expect next from Doflamingo.

“And now we’ll have to eat that loss.” The warlord did eventually continue almost quietly by comparison though. But somehow that dark tone was even worse. Much worse as you finally realized what his real trigger had been all along. “All because this one thinks she can sick her new lover on us.”

He had heard everything then. He’d snuck in in time enough to catch your phone stunt with Aokiji and made his own conclusions from it. This wasn’t just about the slaves or the business.

This was jealousy.

And as your adrenaline spiked, Doflamingo pulled both your skirt and underwear down in one harsh jerk. Both pieces of clothing then falling around your ankles as you tried and failed to fight him off.

Yes, you’d wanted him again. But not like this. Not when you now realized he was absolutely livid and planning to truly hurt you.

“You can stay, Disco. She needs to learn some new humility I think.” He said to your additional horror, even doubling down in this cruelty as he continued. “Hell, jack off while you watch for all I care. She was just trying to work you over too wasn’t she?”

And Disco, the spineless cockroach that he was, had his tune changing immediately in response to this new development. “Yes. She was being quite a menace before you arrived, sir! She deserves nothing less!” The coward was almost gleeful again then when he realized he might really be off the hook now, and was about to get a nasty show for free as well.

Two sadistic fucks is what they both were in this moment.

You tried to flare your haki yet again in angry desperation. And this time you were actually able to move one of your arms before you felt Doflamingo’s grip squeezing the back of your neck in retaliation. Hard enough to make you feel light headed as he was compressing the blood flow to your brain just as quickly.

“I don’t think she’s going to be too happy with this arrangement though.” You could hear the grin in his voice again as you struggled, your face still pressed so harshly into the papers across the desk.

“And I’d naively thought you’d actually enjoyed our last playdate by the end. But how fickle you are, you dirty bitch.” Doflamingo chided lowly as well. But there was an additional edge to those words. Was he daring to actually paint himself as the true victim here? He was acting as if you deserved every bit of this as he started undoing the drawstrings of his pants.

Your heart was pounding, ribs aching still from where he’d slammed you down as you then heard him spit into his own palm.

You knew when his cock was free again too as you felt the long member bumping against your nude backside as he stroked himself, lubing the length with that spit as he finished hardening up.

But this wasn’t your only nightmare. As you even had this other, cast off little backbiter to worry about as well then as you could hear Disco’s belt dangerously near your face as he clumsily undid his pants as well.

Doflamingo was just laughing again though at your predicament. He wanted you to be afraid of what he’d allow his subordinate to do to you too didn’t he? He was more than enjoying this.

“I suppose we should give Disco something to look at besides just your pretty face though shouldn’t we, whore?” Doflamingo commented even on top of that. The warlord made you rear back with his parasite ability again, your body then standing up against him as your hands worked on their own against your will once more.

He was making you strip for them.

You were taking off your marine coat first. Your weapon and it going to the floor even as you scowled and glared.

With your skirt and underwear already on the floor, this now left just your shirt and bra on. Which of course in another movement of Doflamingo’s fingers, you were then being forced to undo as well.

You could hear the resulting arousal in Doflamingo’s voice too as more of your skin was exposed to his view. That same tone from the warlord which had invaded your dreams for so many nights as you now stood fully nude before both men. Nothing but your boots on.

“What do you say, Disco?” Doflamingo asked, even making you turn a full circle, like a little marionette for them to ogle. “She has such a cute, wet little cunt. Breasts to match, hips to grab…pretty understandable why even admirals are getting in line to ride her…”

“She’d go for a good price, sir.” Disco breathed, sounding different too then as you realized even his smaller cock was also now out in the air while he stroked it with his thighs spread shamelessly in his office chair.

You didn’t want to fucking see that though as you looked back to the ground in a mix of disgust and embarrassment.

“Well now…you know what else I really think, (Y/N)?” And there was Doflamingo actually saying your name again. But his voice couldn’t have possibly been more spiteful in this moment. “I’m starting to realize that you’d make a good throw away wife for even a Celestial Dragon.”

His hands were back on your body then as he bent you forcefully over the desk again. But he was stroking your stomach actually as his hand moved down, his fully hard cock pressing against you now even though he didn’t enter you yet.

He was leaning down too, dark voice heavy as he threatened more with his ideas. “So how’d you like to be fucked raw every morning, noon, and night by a new master?“

He laughed again too at this, as if imagining it already with his hand still oddly on your lower abdomen. His fingers were pressing harder and harder into that skin.

It hurt badly, but what followed was an even different kind of unease as he kept on with this new game.

“They might even decide to breed you too before it was done. And would you like that, woman? You want a brat of your own right? Since you can’t even mind your own fucking business when it comes to someone else’s can you?”

Yes, it was specifically your womb that Doflamingo was now compressing. He knew exactly where it was as he tormented you, further mocking your previous empathy for that slave child.

You knew his goal was mostly to further dehumanize you here. But it seemed too personal all the same, too easy to rile him with this as you could hear the warlord almost reduced to those panting breaths again as he reached under you to squeeze your breasts next. He was chuckling some more as he pressed that soft flesh of your chest painfully between his calloused fingers.

“…And if you and I did that, how swollen with milk would these get I wonder?” He still sneered as he thought of it, his hips bucking against you involuntarily then as you whined against the string gag still in your mouth.

Yes, he was truly getting off on it all. A kink you never would have imagined in someone like him. Or maybe it did make more sense than it should. Here was a true narcissist who thought they had the right to cast and sew their seed wherever they wanted. To taint and claim another person’s body in each and every way.

But Doflamingo as a father though?

God help that poor child if they ever came to actually exist.

“Maybe we’ll just have to find out someday…” Was all he said next though, and as he did, he could finally wait no longer. He did force the head of his massive cock back into you. But with no foreplay this time, no extra care to help stretch you beforehand at all. He just slammed all the way up to your cervix in one harsh thrust.

And even with your mouth covered in those strings, your resulting scream was likely heard by every slave and guard in the backstage area beyond.

You were then trembling against your will, unable to fight anymore against that parasite entrapment. Your eyes began watering with the pain, your face pressed against the desk as you heard Disco moan in return. The auctioneer was thrusting hard into his own hand near your face, almost euphoric for the torture he was now witnessing.

You closed your eyes tightly, tears beginning to soak that paperwork below your face by then as you tried to dissociate from the room entirely.

They could still have your lifeless shell if they wanted. But you weren’t going to react anymore save for the tears which you somehow couldn’t stop.

It wasn’t just the humiliation or the pain though. This was you hating yourself. Hating how many nights you’d actually thought of this man as if he wouldn’t just rape you again at first opportunity.

But this is what he’d always been. This was what he always would be. You were delusional to have ever fantasized him as anything more.

Yet he still hadn’t moved since your scream. Even as you still waited for him to start ripping you apart, he didn’t thrust anymore at all.

And when you felt his fingertips across your tear stained face instead, you shivered slightly. An involuntary movement again as you still refused to open your eyes and even look at him.

“Disco….get the fuck out.” Doflamingo spoke so suddenly then. And his voice was absolutely deadly, even with his hard cock still tense against the edge of your wounded cervix.

And you heard Disco’s chair move almost simultaneously, a pathetic whimper from the auctioneer as it did. Even a man like that wasn’t stupid enough to ask questions in a moment like this.

Your breathing was so shallow by then though, body still, as you did hear the office door open and shut again.

For the first time, you felt cold too. No part of Doflamingo was touching you except for his cock inside and his hand that had been against your face.

But those fingers pulled away too now as the heaviest silence hung in the room once you were both alone.

“You make me fucking miserable.” Was the words that actually came out of his mouth next as your wet eyes opened slightly in the shock of that.

He was scowling. No smile at all as the red sunglasses stared down at the mess he’d made of you.

But you did make another involuntary cry of pain against your gag as he unceremoniously slid back out of you then. The pressure spiked briefly as the head of his cock had had to further stretch your already torn entrance one more time on the way out.

With another shift of his hand, the strings finally released your mouth as well. He moved away from the desk entirely then too, leaving you there as you could see him walk to the side of the room.

His pants were still open, cock fully hard as you realized there was an actual sheen of blood over his erection.

Your blood.

He’d completely torn your opening this time as well as bloodied your cervix with the force of the hit.

There was a beverage cart there against the wall. With a pitcher of ice water and other items for Disco. Hand towels were near the bottom of the cart, and you watched as Doflamingo used one to wipe his cock clean before taking another towel to pour some of the ice water over it.

You didn’t understand his intent at first as he now walked back over to you with the cold, wet towel.

“Come here,” He said. But his voice was practically emotionless then, foreign almost. He made you stand, but moved behind you to sit on the edge of the desk himself before he pulled your still naked body up into his lap.

With both of you then on the desk together, and your back against his abdomen, he reached that wet towel in front to start wiping you out between your legs.

It still stung badly of course as you shifted in discomfort. And you could see the initial bright red coming off into the wet towel. But when the thickest of the blood was wiped away, he then held the towel there to keep pressure over where you were still bleeding.

And the two of you stayed like that in silence for what had to be at least several minutes.

“I wanted you to fight back.” His voice finally came out above you again. You could feel his chest rising and falling almost gently now with his regular breathing. “But you just gave up instead.”

“I’m not superhuman.” You answered after another long moment. Not knowing what else to do.

You weren’t foolish enough to consider this conversation any actual sign of guilt or contrition from this man. But whatever he’d expected was clearly not what this had turned into. Hurting you hadn’t done for him what he thought it would at some level at least.

So he now tried just business again first. “If you want us to release that boy, then fine. I don’t give a shit anymore. Disco fucked that up from the beginning.”

But then the heavy silence was right back again. You weren’t answering him.

And he didn’t like it.

“Would you say something already?” He spoke then and you felt him pull you back a little tighter against him.

For the briefest moment, you actually thought he was the one wanting to be comforted then. Which was the most insane thing you could possibly imagine after what he had just done to you.

“I am not sleeping with Aokiji.” The words just left your mouth when you could think of nothing else. Because that assumption had started everything hadn’t it? He’d had an outright tantrum, a warlord level tantrum because of that.

“But you want to.” And Doflamingo’s voice did bristle dangerously, not denying his sensitivity on this. “A woman doesn’t smile the way you did when you were talking to him when it’s anything less than that.”

You were staring at the opposite wall then. Too surprised to properly argue for that moment. Had he been that close as well earlier? And he was really going to judge you for something as involuntary as a simple smile?

But Aokiji was only concerned for your well being most likely. And frankly, who wouldn’t be if they gave even the slightest damn about you at all? You knew you’d been acting a lot differently around everyone after this had all started.

“He’s just worried about me. I don’t have many friends.” You spoke again. But still watching the wall carefully, not knowing at all how Doflamingo would react now.

And he was painfully quiet again. His hand only moved enough to check that towel against your slit, looking to see if you were still spotting into it. When it seemed that you weren’t, he let the towel drop to the floor, splaying his hand out possessively on your thigh instead.

“Then if that’s true, come with me. Take shore leave and stay in Sabaody a few nights. I have a house down the beach from here.”

His voice was nearly gentle then, but the coil of temptation still darkened it. It wasn’t a kind sound at all.

“I’m on assignment with Vice Admiral Vergo in Tsuru’s absence.” You said reflexively, trying to mask your surprise at the abrupt invitation.

“Heh,” He breathed and you felt his hand wandering from your thigh up your naked torso now. “Then let me sweeten the pot. Stay three nights with me, and every slave under this roof today walks free.”

You immediately turned your head to look up at him in shock at that.

But he was already smiling down at you. “Oh, I’m serious. But it’s absolutely a one time offer. My reputation isn’t tied to this place yet. I haven’t even had them paint my jolly roger on anything here so far while we’ve cleaned house. I just bought it two months ago mainly for the location of course. Prime real estate nestled so close to both Mariejois and Marineford. But I can still spare today’s inventory for a better long term investment.”

He was massaging one of your breasts again now, making it clear that you were said investment that he was speaking of. But he couldn’t help himself either as you felt his cock twitch against your lower back. It was stiffening once more. “Think of how much credit you’d get for that too. The captain that actually set slaves free in Sabaody on some clever legal technicalities. And only in a single morning there. What a negotiator and little hero you’d be.”

“How do I know they wouldn’t just be recaptured later, for it all to be for show?” You did ask, but carefully so.

And he even liked that cynicism too. “Fair point. I suppose you’d have to get them escorted straight to Marineford to sort out later. Otherwise, yes. I’m only saying I’ll release them. What happens after isn’t in my terms.”

You still looked doubtful you were sure, but even a chance for these people was better than nothing. You may be a lot of things, but soulless wasn’t one of them. If you could save even a stranger from a lifetime of that kind of torture and servitude, of course you were going to try.

“I accept.” You said, though still feeling as if you’d been given no other choice.

And he actually encircled his arms around you at that. The pink feather coat easily encapsulating you in his warmth as his cock pressed firm into the small of your back.

“Perfect. I’m sure that little merbrat and the others will tell stories for generations to come of the beautiful marine that swooped in like an angel in their darkest hour.”

Doflamingo was mocking you already again of course, but he was in a much better mood now. A very stark contrast of how livid he’d been when first entering this room.

He was such an overly emotional person really, even on top of all his other faults.

And though another deal to meet him again soon had already been struck, he wasn’t quite ready to let you go just yet either.

With his height difference and strength, it was always easy for him to move you. So he picked you up abruptly, though not roughly this time as he made you turn around on his thighs.

Now you were almost facing him, sideways in his lap as he sat on the desk edge still with his long legs spread open. Nestled in the warmth of his coat around you both as he took one of your hands and placed it on his hard shaft.

“Go on and jack me off then, angel, so we can get out of here.” He breathed again, making his still intimidating member move a little against your palm.

“You’ll cum everywhere,” You said bluntly though, trying to ignore the new nickname he may have just given you. As if you were anything even close to angelic.

“The mess is part of the fun.” He countered almost playfully. But did stretch his hand briefly out to snap another clean towel from that cart as a string brought the towel instantly up into his grip.

He balled it up and put it in your reach to do as you wished with it.

“Come on. You’re still on duty aren’t you? The clock is ticking.” He pressed, but more for his own impatience rather than any concern for your work status.

Yet you were still a bit overwhelmed. It was honestly the first time you had been free to touch him between his own legs. Having been restrained for most the time before.

But he clearly liked it as you did start to stroke him. He groaned quietly, that bit of precum already forming into a large droplet at his tip.

“You know this is what Disco wanted you to do to him. Either like this or with your mouth of course…” Doflamingo smirked cruelly, but twitching his swollen cock again in your hand all the same. “Harder.” He bid you to squeeze him in between the strokes.

But you immediately frowned at the mention of Disco. Fuck that cowardly man, and not at all literally.

But Doflamingo was starting to shift his hips even from his seated place still on the desk. Thrusting up into your hand as he responded. “Don’t make that face, woman. Threesomes can be a hell of a time with the right company. Trust me though, I’d never really waste you on the likes of him. No matter how pissed off I was. That was strictly a look, don’t touch arrangement. If he’d tried to put that pencil dick on you, I would have ripped his balls off myself.”

That disgusting mental image didn’t make you feel any better of course. But you still said nothing, letting the warlord run his mouth as he so liked to do whenever his energy was high.

“There’s actually someone else I think may appreciate you if I can get him to quit being such a stuck up twat anyway. I might have to work on that actually.” Doflamingo grinned more at this even as he started to try and lean down enough to get at your neck.

You didn’t know at all who he might mean as his attention focused back to your throat soon enough though. His teeth nipped you just before he licked the skin there greedily.

But you did really pause as you felt his mouth close on that same wet skin immediately after to begin roughly sucking it.

“You can’t leave marks.” You jerked a little as his teeth pressed down again next. Too high on your neck to be easily covered later.

“I can do whatever the fuck I want,” He admonished you though. Quick to remind you that he answered to no one, even when slipping back into whatever state this was that your presence often put him in.

So he sucked your neck harder of course just to show you.

You made a noise and he laughed against that already bruising skin. “Oh shut up. I’ll buy you some new shirts with a proper cut. I want to see you dressed up anyway for me. Diamonds and high heels while I fuck you raw in my castle, angel. That’s a goddamn promise.”

And you were almost too slow with the towel. You sensed it coming in the way his breath had hitched in that final taunting. But he’d still covered your hand in that thick white mess as he orgasmed. Which you did put the towel over both his cock and your hand before the remainder pulsed out while he shuddered.

“Mmm.” He did that almost purr like growl, quite satisfied in the aftermath as his hands ran up your bare back, almost massaging you then. “You’re pretty fun after all, woman.”

It was night and day with him. You didn’t know how to explain it. From disgusting violence to almost true affection like the swing of a pendulum. And all in the brief span of just being in this one room together.

“And you can go get your stupid sushi with popsicle dick as an additional reward if you’re so damn lonely. I know you still won’t fuck anyone else until this heals.” And as Doflamingo said that, his hand slipped back between your own legs to very gently rub just the outer lips of your still stinging cunt. It was almost an apologetic touch.

Almost.

“But from now on, I want to know about these things. You’d be surprised how long of a leash I’m willing to give to those that I trust. But that’s the thing…I don’t trust anyone who keeps secrets from me.”

And even as he warned you of this, he was leaning down to kiss you all over again. This time on the lips warmly as you did lean up into it.

Everything was still so very wrong though. You had a brain. You knew what abusive relationships were, and that real love never made demands or bargained for control.

But you’d never had real love either, or even a blood family for that matter. Yet another hungry orphan from the North Blue was all you’d ever been. Right up until your thieving ways had gotten you a trip direct into the brig of Tsuru’s ship. It was then either enlist as a chore girl for her or enjoy prison on the mainland.

You’d heard a saying once too that children who had never been fed love on spoons were doomed to grow up licking it from knives instead.

Surely you didn’t remember the quote exactly now. But this man was your knife if ever you had seen one. And Tsuru was still the closest you’d ever had to the spoon, but was it enough to counteract him?

As his fingers twisted tightly into your hair with another deep kiss, it was hard to imagine anything else surpassing the intensity of emotions this demon still inspired in you.

You were falling after all. Maybe not exactly in the way Smoker had first said you would through ambition alone. But a burning path to self destruction could be the only end result all the same.

———————————

T⨂ BE

CONTINUED

———————————

Thanks for reading!

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cre8inghavoc · 2 months

Text

What are Friends For?

PT. 2

Status: ongoing!!

Updates: no set date.

WC: 2185

Description: Characters are aged up. After months of enduring her boyfriend's emotional abuse, Y/N found the courage to stand up for herself. She confronted him, refusing to tolerate his hurtful behavior any longer. In that moment, she broke free from the curse of their toxic relationship, reclaiming her independence and beginning a journey of healing. Pairing: megumi fushiguro x FEM!reader

Genre/Warnings:[18+] This story contains toxic boyfriend, cursing, name calling, self-doubt/hate, angst, breaking up, post-breakup, alcohol, drunk moments, new friends, dating!au, college!au, no curses!au, dark humour, dark jokes. SMAU.

Maki dropped you off at home ridiculously early, like 6 am early. But with a long list of errands to run and a breakup conversation that you were not looking forward to, you didn't have time to dwell on it. You just wanted to get this day over with.

Your friends wanted to hang out later to cheer you up after the breakup, but you needed to clear your head first.

The thought of breaking up with your boyfriend made your stomach swirl. It wasn't the act itself that scared you, but rather his reaction. Would he explode in anger, or worse, shrug it off like it meant nothing? Neither option sounded appealing. You didn't want a dramatic showdown, but you also didn't want him to be emotionless. Would that mean he never loved you?

The constant back-and-forth overthinking was giving you a headache. Did you want him to fight for us, or would it be better if he just accepted it peacefully? It was hard to say. All you wanted was to focus on your errands and distract yourself, but your mind had other plans. No matter what, he seemed to be all you could think about.. And not in a good way, but when was it in a good way anyways?

9:15 AM.

Knock knock.

Was that Maki already? You distinctly remember telling her to come by at 9:45 AM… Maybe she decided to show up early and grab breakfast before heading out for our errands together. With that thought in mind, you made your way to the door with a big smile. But as soon as you opened it, your smile quickly faded into a blank expression. Surprise. It's him.

You stand there, just staring at each other in silence for a moment. You take in his appearance - messy hair, wrinkled clothes, and that tired look in his eyes. He look like he just woke up… You know it's early, but still. Then, you notice something off. His eyes are glassy and bloodshot, and there's a strange scent lingering around him. Sweat, mixed with... could it be a hint of perfume? Wait. Is he... drunk? Putting together all the clues, I'd say there's a solid 90% chance he is.

"Hey babe~" Your boyfriend slurs, his breath heavy with the stench of alcohol. Scratch that, he's 100% drunk. The familiar pet name makes you cringe hard, even though it used to be a regular thing between you two. Now, it just feels weird... and not in a good way. Is it because you're losing feelings? Probably. But also, he doesn't deserve to call you that. He never did, and you shouldn't have let him. You shouldn't have let him take control the way he did. He's hurt you so many times. So much so that you understand why your friends never liked him. And honestly... You don't like him either.

"What are you doing here?" you ask, your tone tinged with confusion. You don't want him inside your house, especially not in his current state. So, almost subconsciously, you step out onto the porch and close the door behind you. Thank god he's too drunk to realize, or else he’d make that small thing a big problem.

"Whattt? Can’t come to s-say hi to my girlfrienddd~" He slurs again, and the possessive term “his” girlfriend sends another wave of discomfort through you. You don't want to be his, not anymore. Then, out of nowhere, he leans in close.

Oh, no.

Fuck.

He's about to kiss you. Panic sets in. You can't even bear his presence, let alone the thought of him claiming you as his girlfriend. You don't want to kiss him. You CAN’T kiss him.

Subconsciously, you blurted out, "Ew…" and it visibly angered him. He pulls back quickly, glaring at you with frustration evident on his face.

"The fuck. Why the fuck did you say that?" he snaps.

Your face flushes with embarrassment as you realize what you just said. It's like the words slipped out before you could stop them. You panic, scrambling for an excuse. "Sorry! Your breath just smelled like really strong alcohol and I just didn't expect it…"

Smooth, Y/N. Not the worst lie, but definitely not your finest moment.

As you step back, your eyes catch something on his neck. A purple spot. No, it can't be... can it? You reach out and pull down the collar of his shirt, confirming your suspicions. It's a hickey. Unbelievable. You're not sure how you're supposed to feel. Angry? Sad? Heartbroken? But strangely, you just feel... disappointed. Disappointed in his actions, yes, but more so disappointed in yourself for sticking around through all the misery, only to have him cheat on you.

"Is that a hickey?" You question him, but that question only seems to piss him further. You can't recall ever seeing him this angry before. "Are you fucking accusing me of cheating on you? You're fucking pathetic, Y/N," he scoffs, a cruel laugh escaping his lips. "You're the one who went to a boy's house yesterday, and you're calling me a cheater? You know what, fuck you. You're just a bitch. You always like playing the victim card, don't you? It's always about you and your fucking drama. Maybe if you weren't a fucking whore trying to find attention from your little guy friends, I wouldn't feel the need to seek affection elsewhere. Fuck you. You're a nobody, and you will never be worth anything. No one wants an overthinking, paranoid, insecure, anxious fucking bitch. You're pathetic, truly. If your mind wasn't fucked up, maybe I would've loved you."

His hurtful words pierce through you like daggers, but it's his final remark that cuts deepest. "If your mind wasn't fucked up, maybe I would've loved you." Fucked up? YOU? FUCKED UP? You wouldn't feel this way if he hadn't treated you like absolute fucking shit. His comment triggers something inside you, igniting a fire of rage you've never felt before. For the first time ever, you stand up for yourself.

"You're a fucking liar. You're the one that's fucked up. Have you ever thought that the only reason why I have anxiety and overthink is because of YOU," you seethe, pointing a trembling finger at him. "YOU'RE THE FUCKING REASON I'M LIKE THIS, ASSHOLE. I'm so done with this. I'm done with you. We're fucking over. Do not ever talk to me again."

You realize that everyone in the neighbourhood could hear the whole ordeal, both of you yelling and hurling insults at each other. But at that moment, you didn't care. For the first time ever, you said what you always wanted to say, and it felt good.

What you didn't anticipate was how much this would enrage your now ex-boyfriend. Before you knew it, he had clenched his fist and swung it right at your face. Fear courses through you like never before. Fuck… Was he about to hit you? You knew he was capable of sinking low, but this... this was a new low.

"HEY!" A commanding voice breaks through the chaos, causing your ex's fist to freeze in midair. He quickly withdraws his hand and turns to face the person who interrupted him. Standing there was a tall man, dressed in a black hoodie and track pants. It's obvious he's out walking his two dogs, both of whom sit obediently by his side like they’re his bodyguard's. You find yourself catching your breath, relieved that this stranger arrived just in time, potentially saving you from further harm.

Your ex's retort is sharp and defensive. "What the fuck do you want? Can't you mind your fucking business? I'm trying to talk to my girlfriend."

"Ex-girlfriend," the tall man corrects with a firm expression, catching you off guard with his confidence, especially considering he doesn't even know who you are. A soft smile tugs at your lips as your ex rolls his eyes and walks away.

Finally, he's gone.

The tall man hurries over to you, his dogs following his move. "Are you okay?" he asks, his concern evident despite his neutral expression.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Thank you... for helping me," you reply softly, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

"Of course. Did he hurt you?"

"No... but if it weren't for you stopping him, I don't know how far he would've gone." A tear escapes, trailing down your cheek. His hands gently cup your face as he wipes away the tear with his thumb, his touch surprisingly gentle. You find yourself getting lost in his eyes, a captivating dark blue unlike any you've seen before. They remind you of the night sky, filled with stars and the moon... oh, how you love the moon. You both share a prolonged gaze, completely lost in each other, until the sound of a car pulling up and a honk breaks the moment.

It's Maki; she's here to pick you up, and you've completely forgotten about your plans. He slowly withdraws his hands from your face, still not breaking eye contact.

You quickly turn your head away from him, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks. Are you blushing? Oh no...

"Sorry... My friend is here to pick me up, and she gets very impatient... Before I go, I just wanted to say thank you so much for your help. I really appreciate it," you manage to say, giving him a genuine smile.

He chuckles softly and returns the smile. "I'm glad you're okay. Have fun with your friend. Tell her to become more of patient person."

You giggle at his response. "Will do!" you reply as you walk towards Maki's car. Once you get in, you wave at the man, and Maki drives off. You can't shake off the feeling of his soft voice and gentle touch lingering on your cheek. God, his touch felt good.

"So... are you going to tell me who that was or...?" Maki interrupts your thoughts.

Shit. You were too deep in thought to realize you were silent for practically five minutes.

"Omg... it's a long story..." you begin, explaining everything to her in detail. Her facial expressions change almost every two seconds, from happy to angry, to relieved, and then happy again.

"Wow... holy fuck, Y/N. That was a fucking rollercoaster. BUT I'M SO PROUD OF YOU FOR BREAKING UP WITH HIM!" she exclaims with extreme excitement.

You giggle at her response. "You're too much sometimes," you tease.

After running errands, you and Maki head out for dinner, and by the time you get back, it is already 10:30 PM. As you both enter Yuta's house, Maki bursts in with her hands in the air.

"GUESS WHO'S SINGLE, BITCHES!!!" she yells in excitement.

Inumaki stands up in shock. "You broke up with Nobara??!!"

Maki's face twists in confusion. "WHAT? NO! What the fuck, Toge."

"Then who??!!" he asks, still clueless.

You start dying of laughter as Yuta and Maki exchange looks before turning back to Inumaki, as if he's the slowest person in the room... which, let's face it, he is, but you'd never tell him that.

"Y/N, you idiot," Maki finally spits out.

"OH MY GOD! YES, FINALLY," Inumaki exclaimed excitedly.

Yuta and Maki slap their foreheads simultaneously. "You're actually so slow," they sigh in unison.

Yuta stands up and walks over to you, enveloping you in a hug, followed by the others.

"You know what time it is!" Yuta says, hinting at something you're clearly unaware of.

"Club time!!!!" Maki chimes in excitedly.

"What?! No, no, no, guys... It's too late, and I'm so tired..." you interject.

"You agreed we would celebrate your breakup..." Inumaki reminds you.

"Yeah... but the club?" you question.

Maki quickly responds, "Nobara invited me and told me to bring you guys too since she knows about your breakup. She thought it would be nice to distract yourself, plus you'll finally get to meet her and her friends too!"

Their expectant gazes make you feel guilty for not wanting to go. They just want you to feel better, and honestly, it's a good way to distract yourself. Well, not from your ex... but from the tall man who saved you. Fuck. You didn't even get his name or his number. Wait... why are you thinking about him so much? You don't even know him... Oh my god, you're so screwed.

"Okay, fine. When are we going?" you concede.

"Now," Yuta says, grabbing your hand and pulling you out of the house, with the others following and getting into Maki's car.

The music is blasting, and the lights are flickering like crazy as you enter the club. You haven't been to a club in a year, so being here with your friends actually feels kind of nice... You all head to the bar and start downing shots one after another. After your fourth shot, you start feeling the alcohol kick in. As you reach for another shot, you feel a hand on your shoulder and a voice whispering in your ear.

"Slow down..."

Wait... this voice... It sounds so familiar. You turn your head quickly and see who it is.

No way.

It's him...

TAGLIST

@nikkimvriee , @xbarrjallenx , @atinymonbebestay , @1l-ynn

GUYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND LOVE!!!! <3 you don't understand how happy it made me reading your comments hehe

AND FINALLY SHE BROKE UP WITH THAT PIECE OF SHIT!

GO Y/N!!!! She's making me so proud 🥲

#fushiguro megumi x reader #smau #jjk smau #jjk #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fanfic #megumi fushiguro #megumi smau #jjk fluff #megumi fluff #fluff #angst #jjk angst #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen smau #jujutsu kaisen megumi

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shkudss · 1 year

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Weakened by Eywa Pt. 3

Masterlist

Summary: Ao'nung finally realizes that his actions have consequences

Warnings: curse words, bullying, mental breakdown, English isn't my first language

Author's note: 🤭🤭🤭

Yawntutsyip - darling, little loved one

Yaymak - foolish, ignorant

Tsmukan - brother

“You lost their trust, I understand them. You really need to try hard just to get her forgiveness.” Tsireya tried to cheer up Ao’nung, he came to her asking for an advice, which is not normal for him.

“I try, but I don’t believe she’ll even forgive me.”

Ao’nung couldn’t do anything properly after that day. When he saw you so small, broken and vulnerable... You were crying in Neteyam’s hands, needed to be protected. He realized why he did these things to you. And that’s so stupid of him, so stupid.

He liked you.

But just like an ignorant child he didn’t understand it and tried to bully you. And who’s skxawng now? He so fucked up. Now you don’t even want to look at him, nobody lets him even breath towards you.

Sully’s really stick together, because otherwise he doesn’t know how they’re always end up around you. Especially, when he tries to talk to you. Oh Eywa, how many times he tried to do that.

“You can leave her message. I think that would work, you won’t have to come close to her, just do it secretly.”

Ao’nung’s eyes widened in surprise. His sister is really smart. He will leave something at Y/N’s place so that nobody but her can take it. That thought cheered him up a little. He would be happy just to get your forgiveness, even if you won’t be friends after it. But he would fight till the end of his days to get closer to you.

***

“What’s this?” you mumbled looking at little necklace and a small piece of wood with something written on it lying on the stone covered with soft grass.

Who did that? How did they find this place? Even your family doesn’t know where you go every day. Only one person can do this.

“Ao’nung?” You’re completely confused by this whole situation.

You came closer to these things and started to read the message. It was short, but you didn’t want it to be too long, since it’s probably from him.

I’m sorry. Let me talk to you.

Today, here at the sunset.

You bit your lips nervously, heart pounding like crazy. What do you feel? There’s a tornado of emotions going through your fragile soul. You’re scared, nervous, sad, but also… interested? These past weeks showed you that he wants to do something with it. Maybe he even regrets it. So why don’t you check it out?

You can’t help but doubt your decision throughout the day. Neteyam noticed you being too pensive and silent today, which never meant anything good. Especially, after the recent events.

“What’s wrong?” he waited until both of you will be alone in your marui to have a comfortable conversation.

“Nothing, I’m just thinking.” That was true, you just didn’t specify what you were thinking about.

“What makes you think that hard?” He tried to chuckle a little to lighten up the conversation, but you knew he wanted to know the details.

“Tsmukan… you know me. I just think about everything. About our family, about our home, about my feelings. And yes, I think about what happened, but there’s nothing to worry about.” You tried to calm down Neteyam, but he still had things to say.

“That’s exactly why I’m worried. That day I asked you if you’re okay, but you didn’t tell anything and look what happened. I don’t want to see my sister completely broken again. Don’t lie to me, you didn’t act like that for the past week.” His voice got a little rough as he remembered that day. Yeah, he was angry, but that’s only because he loved you.

“I’m fine, okay? Don’t make a drama of it. I don’t want to discuss my thoughts with you now. Let me think it out by myself if you trust me as your sister.” You also got a little annoyed by this conversation. You didn’t want to lie to him, but you had no choice. If any of your family will find out about your plans, they’ll tie you to the house.

Neteyam realized that he went a little hard on you and sighted in defeat. His big hands pulled you closer to him and hugged in a big brother way. You closed your eyes and wrapped you hands around his waist.

“I promise, I’ll tell you if something goes wrong, tsmukan.”

“I trust you, yawntutsyip”

***

The closer you got to your place, the more nervous you were. What if he’ll tell you bad things again? What would you do? Definitely won’t be able to protect yourself.

“Don’t be weak, Y/N!” You mumbled, trying to motivate yourself. “You’re warrior, protect yourself.”

You were so into cheering up yourself, that difficult notice a little branch on the ground and tripped over it, almost falling down. You would be injured if someone didn’t hold you.

Someone like Olo’eyktan’s son

Like Ao’nung

You slowly looked up at him, eyes widened in shock. All previous thoughts left your mind, leaving only basic ones.

He’s strong and dangerous

You suddenly flinched back, surprising both of you. Ao’nung didn’t want you to run away again, so he made some steps back to ensure you that he came in peace.

“Y/N, I don’t want to hurt you again.”

He raised his hands, showing that everything will be fine. You looked at him suspiciously, folding your arms over your chest not because you’re angry at him, but because you don’t want him to see your hands shaking.

“What do you want to tell me? If you intend to fight with me again, don’t do this. I’m really tired of all these fights.”

At that moment you wanted to cry. Looking at him, made all feelings that were asleep deep in your soul wake up again. Eyes became like two sparkling crystals.

“I’m- I’m sorry.” He cleared his throat. “Y/N, I’m really sorry for everything I said and did to you and your family. I was a real asshole and I didn’t understand it, I’m so sorry for this. I don’t hope for you to be my friend, but I hope to get at least the slightest chance to be forgiven. I won’t hurt you or your family again. Please, let me make it up for you and maybe get your trust. Please.”

You were too stunned to say something. Eyes are watery, you look at him trying to find words, but nothing happens. Ao’nung gets nervous as he sees how tears appear in your eyes. He’s wondering if he said something wrong.

“Y/N…” he started but was interrupted by someone’s hold on the back of his neck.

“Don’t worry, tsmukan. I’m fine, tsmukan. What’s what my trust means to you?”

Neteyam stood in front of you, holding Ao’nung firmly and completely furious. Disbelief and pain of betrayal in his eyes makes it hard to look at him. You don’t want to argue with him, but you know that you didn’t mean to upset him.

“Neteyam…”

“What? What lies do you want to tell me this time?” You whimpered a little, not being able to bare this tone. “All of us are trying to protect you, keep you safe and happy. Even Tuk worries about you, she couldn’t sleep when she knew that you’re hurt. Our mother is always looking for you or asks me to take care of you while she’s busy. Our dad feels guilt because he didn’t protect you when he could. All of us loose our nerves and sleep just so you go and see him secretly? We ask you only one thing. To stay away from him. And you disobeyed.” As he started to talking about Tuk, you bursted into tears. You didn’t know this, you didn’t want to hurt your family. “And you. Wasn’t it enough for you to understand that you have no right to even look at my sister? Your dad’s words mean nothing for you?” Neteyam finally payed attention to Ao’nung.

“I didn’t want to hurt you, Neteyam. All of you, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. That’s not why I am here, let me explain.” Trembling voice was like a knife cutting a heart for Neteyam, but he was also hurt and tired.

“I don’t need your explanations. I’m very disappointed in you.”

“Stop it!” Ao’nung got angry seeing this scene. Neteyam did the same thing that. He hurt you with words. “You are not any better then me. She’s not okay and you keep doing this to her. Stop being so dramatic and listen!”

“I won’t listen to you. You’ve done enough!” Atmosphere in this place really so tensed, you could feel it in the air.

“She has nothing to do with it. I asked her to come here to apologize because you and your little brother don’t let me do that! Do you think we can just forget about it without talking it out? Both Y/N and me need this conversation to keep living without burden on our hearts! Use just a little of your common sense, you skxawng!”

Instead of answering, Neteyam punched Ao’nung angrily. Emotions took over both of them. That Ao’nung’s their last piece of patience towards Neteyam. They started fighting as their lives depended on it. You were terrified of their fight, crying and trying to call them out.

But they didn’t hear you.

Then you tried to pull Neteyam back and separate from Ao’ung who was laying under him. Nothing helped, you were afraid this may be fatal.

“Stop it! Neteyam, stop! Why are you doing this?!”

You hit his back hard enough to get back his attention. He was breathing heavily and still looking at you angrily.

“Are you on his side? Really?”

“I’m not choosing sides. Let me talk to him.”

Tears falling down your cheeks, voice is quiet. You can’t see your brother, lovely tsmukan, looking at you this way.

Oh Eywa, why do you give me so many challenges?

“Okay. I see.”

He silently stood up and left this place, giving you the last disappointed look that made you fall on your knees and cry for help of Eywa.

Why is does it hurt so bad?

A/n: I’M SORRY I LOVE DRAMA😭 I hope you had a good read (and cry lol). Little Neteyam🥺 he’s also run out of energy to always be protective brother:( Idk what’s going to happen next, but stay tuned! I hope you liked this part🫶🏻

P.S. I would appreciate if you leave some feedback in comments🥹 It will motivate me to write more and understand what you feel about it💗

Comment if you want to be tagged✨

Taglist: @elegantkidfansoul @ijwsbdinp @universal-s1ut @myh3artt @lynbubble @jjkclub @kenzi-woycehoski @marvellover4 @ssc7514 @stvrligghtt @johfaam @simplecole18 @flavaliz @chrisbelle

Those who are highlighted in red were not available for tagging:( If I missed someone, text me!

#aonung x reader #aonung fanfiction #aonung x y/n #aonung x sully!reader #aonung x female reader #aonung #aonung x you #aonung x oc #neteyam x sister!reader #neteyam #loak #sully kids #sully!reader #loak sully #avatar 2 #avatar twow #avatar fanfiction

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taeloke · 1 month

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Overanalyzing 4KOTA Chapter 142 instead of just waiting for more info (2/2)

Part 1

This is the part where I talk about King and no one else. Also, this is more ramble than analysis by the end, and I'm making myself not worry about length this time, so...you have been warned :) As for Mertyl, I'll definitely talk about him again over the next chapter, though I might not say as much as I did the first time.

Firstly, look at this face. Remember all those seasons ago, when everything was peaceful for like a single week? How sweet and thoughtful this little guy was, especially against his own personal wishes?

This is King--regardless of how he's like on the outside.

Elaine herself described him as someone who tries to act tough but is really a crybaby. He's someone who can't seem to stop wearing his heart on his sleeve. He always tries to hide his feelings to keep everyone else from worrying, but try as he might, anyone will see through his "tough act" if they're around him for long enough. Awakened or not, he's not King if he's not a highly emotional character like that. He's just a lot better at putting a cover over those feelings now. He's grown up for real.

If you read these last few 4KOTA chapters without remembering the original Seven Deadly Sins story, it only makes sense to look at him more like an ass of a father right now. There's a lot to his perspective that we just haven't gotten to witness yet, and one of the easiest conclusions to make from all of that unknown space is "King loves Nasiens more than the adopted son he raised." For crying out loud, he's giving an immensely scarce cure-all to a young man who introduced himself as a human without an explanation for why Myrtel hasn't received it yet. We don't even know for sure if he's tried using the Drug of Yore to treat Myrtel's condition in the past right now.

There's just one problem about that conclusion: King isn't like that at all. It only looks like he is because this family drama is fatally poisoned with tension and misunderstandings at this point. It's starting to explode.

Remember how way back in the series, King first thought Diane without her memories of him would be better off without him at all?

I think that's a lot similar to what he's thinking with Nasiens right now. If King didn't play a part in their present happiness, then what right does he have to want their love? He'd label that as too greedy or selfish in a way that he can't allow himself to be. He thinks he knows his place, and that place is somewhere forever distanced from his first-born kid.

But he can't just do nothing for Nasiens. Maybe just one totally subtle yet significant expression of love can slide, right? What could he, seemingly as nothing more than a ruler, possibly give to Nasiens to make him happy? Maybe if he gives Nasiens just one perfect gift, Harlequin will feel like he was good for his son at least once. He'll feel like he's finally atoned for losing Nasiens for too long and failing him as a father, and then he can let that "sin" go. Surely, Nasiens wouldn't be happy knowing the truth anyway. He'll be better off never learning about his true relations, since he's built his life without it already. Assuming that "logic" is what King's going through, a lot of his actions make sense to me.

And yet he still almost slipped up and spilled the beans.

Nice save, King, but if you gave Nasiens more time to think he would have realized what you really meant. Tioreh gave him time to realize she believed he's a fairy and his initial freeze then was the exact same.

None of this is easy for King. It isn't easy for any of them. In some ways, those past 2 years must have felt like forever to him. Precious time to have his first-born kid around that he'll never get back. And after 2 years of keeping distance...

"Sorry, I couldn't help but follow you."

"I just wanted to help you out, in any way I could."

King can't keep his distance anymore. His true feelings are starting to break free.

"Hee hee... Don't be shy, now. I just want to be of assistance."

Sure, King. Saying it like that totally doesn't make it sound like there's more to this, even with your confident/amused chuckle.

Of all the gifts he could give Nasiens, I'm sure King believed this was the one thing Nasiens couldn't refuse to accept from him. A powerful healing drug that he advertised as one-of-a-kind and a once-in-a-millennium opportunity. With it presented not only as that, but also as something that might bring Percival back, how could Nasiens reject such a gift? Right?

...And then Nasiens rejects the gift. Immediately, King gets so nervous that he breaks character.

He immediately started sweating too. King prepared everything up to this moment, and he has no excuse as Nasiens questions him and calls him out.

And Nasiens is right to call him out because of how this looks.

Nasiens, just like us, doesn't yet know what the truth here is. He's right to be suspicious and King needs to realize that plans in how the changeling duo is handled need to change right now. Ready or not--telling the truth is the only way to save what's actively starting to cave in.

But the sad thing is...I have a feeling that it's too late already.

Things are only going to get worse from here... I don't know how, and in a way that makes this feel more awful.

Sixtus should tell King that Mertyl saw him offer the Drug of Yore to Nasiens. There's no doubt in my mind that King will realize the problem once he has that information and try to do whatever he can to make things right. PLEASE don't make him too late again. At least give him a chance to talk to Mertyl before things fall apart if that's where all of this is headed.

#nnt king #4kota #mokushiroku no yonkishi #nanatsu no taizai #nnt #ramblings #I feel like I have even more to say #but i cant think of any more #and i want to send this today soo

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gale-gentlepenguin · 9 months

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Gale’s Analysis: Movie!Adrien vs Show!Adrien (which is better?)

That’s right people it’s time for the fight you’ve been waiting for. The Shows ball of sunshine and depression vs the movie’s Careless whisper enthusiast

Now for this post I will be comparing them in the following categories as well as the points of each category.

Do remember that this is also based on opinion and can be taken with a grain of salt. (And let me know your thoughts.)

Design (2 points)

Personality (3 points)

Relationships (6 points)

Agency (3 points)

___________________________________________

Design

I’m gonna cut right to it. The movie’s design for Adrien and chat noir look better than the show

Now the only clear difference really is the animation budget increase, but if you watch the movie, Adrien and chat noir appear to look softer, it’s less like a shiny suit, more of a sleek and slightly more padded costume. Also I like that the bell is slightly smaller, the suit isn’t as skin tight. It looks more useable. Even his clothes as a civilian look softer and more useable.

But to be fair I will not give movie Adrien the full two points. Since they don’t really change much of his outside just give him a budget increase

Movie!Adrien: 1.5 points

Show!Adrien!: .5 points

Personality

This is where we dig into the meat and potatoes of what makes each Adrien tick. The 3 points of this category will be distributed as follow.

1. For Personality as Adrien

2. For personality as Chat Noir

3. For personality at his core.

1. Personality as Adrien.

So this is where differences really seem to form. The key personality Traits of Show!Adrien are that he wants freedom, wants to be loved, and sees the best in everyone. He is basically a golden retriever. He is a kid that has felt trapped by his strict father and wants to see the world. He is a model and despite being ‘Perfect’ feels like he isn’t that great.

The Key Personality traits of Movie!Adrien are Withdrawn, insecure, and wants to be loved. He is a sad little cat. He is a kid who lost his mother and has a father that threw himself into his work to avoid grief. Thus Adrien in this world is withdrawn and feels empty. Deep down he is a kind soul but he himself feels hollow. The isolation he feels isn’t forced on him as much as he himself put the walls up.

Now for this one, I’m giving the point to the Show!Adrien.

Show!Adrien: 1.5

Movie!Adrien:1.5

Both are good takes on a character for their respective medium, but It’s clear Show!Adrien has a more 3 dimensional motivation and while there are peaks and valleys, they are really good peaks.

2.Personality as Chat noir

Believe it or not there is actually not as big of a difference on these two takes of chat noir than one would think.

Show! Chat noir is a pun loving act first kind of hero. He is playful and likes to flirt and tease ladybug. But deep down is the emotional core that keeps Ladybug centered. One of the problems is that this chat noir does have trouble separating personal emotions from the mission

Movie!Chat noir is more cocky but just as playful. He is trying to play the confident hero at first but that bravado quickly melts and he confesses he’s new to this. A LOT of people fail to realize it’s an act when watching the movie. And despite that he is actually professional afterward, when Ladybug tells him “Not to push something” and the situation is serious he stops immediately and focuses on the task at hand. But really this iteration has more overlap as Chat noir is able to be more open with Ladybug. They can flirt, they can play, they can actually be more open without the shows restrictions on identities must be kept. Which actually gives Them both more freedom.

So this one is a bit surprising to me, but I have to say it’s a draw for me.

Show!Adrien: 2

Movie!Adrien: 2

The movie and the show have peaks and valleys with chat noir. But in the movie chat noir actually feels important in general rather than just being told he’s important. The show has him get controlled a good chunk early on or have his emotional conflict be half the problems, which for a show is fine, but for a movie wouldn’t work out. Though I will say Show!Chat noir is also MUCH more developed and grew a lot more to be the solid partner he is. Movie! Chat noir didn’t have nearly as much growth… he does have significantly more game and is quick to admit his own short comings. (When he’s being himself and not the bravado)

3. The personality core

Adrichat should be defined by 5 traits. 1. Loyalty. 2. Kindness, 3. Wanting love, 4. Emotional, 5. Wanting freedom.

And of the two only Show!Adrien has all 5. Movie Adrien could potentially have 3 to 4 but he is by his own admission (hallow). Show!Adrien does have his problems but at his core he has more to give and I gotta give the ball of sunshine his due

Show!Adrien: 3

Movie!Adrien: 2

____________________________________________

Relationships.

Okay so this obviously can’t encompass all the relationships Adrien has. So I cut them into the main ones we can compare. The rule being he has to at least have 3 interactions with them

With Plagg: 1 point

With Nino: 1 point

With Ladybug: 1 point

With Marinette: 1 point

With Nathalie: 1 point

With His Father: 1 point.

So let’s get into it.

With Plagg:

It’s Show!Adrien and not even close. Plagg in the show is one of the best characters and the dynamic and care between the two is so crucial to show!adrien’s growth. Even if you only took 1 season of the show to compare to the movie, each one beats out the movie dynamic by a country mile. Movie!Plagg is a fart machine and while he does comfort Adrien and tell him to move his butt when things are serious, the gap of this battle is massive.

Show!Adrien: 4

Movie!Adrien: 2

With Nino

Interestingly enough, I’m going movie on this one. Sure Adrien and Nino have some good interactions in the show, but in the movie I think it demonstrates it more that they are closer than in the show. Adrien sought out Nino for advice, Nino and him have a friendship and show they hang out more. Idk it just felt to me more natural in the movie than in the show. I think maybe it’s because when you stretch it across 5 seasons, Nino’s friendship with Adrien seems minuscule especially in the later seasons. The reason Adrien isn’t as close to Nino in the movie makes more sense then in the case of the show. That maybe a controversial take but it’s where I stand on it.

Show!Adrien: 4

Movie!Adrien: 3

With Ladybug

So this one is not as cut and dry as one would think. Because the real question is, what do you prefer. A complex dynamic where they both care about one another but one side is constantly feeling as though they aren’t helpful or even equal in the dynamic only to have it glazed over then move to a platonic friendship. Or a simplified dynamic where both sides had some trouble getting along initially before finding their way and even starting to fall for eachother and open themselves up only for their personal lives to muddle things up and only for things to clear up and for the masks to drop.

I am shocked by how difficult this choice was. Because if I’m being honest, the show does have good Ladynoir moments but it also has a ton of complex bullsh*t that COULD have been great development only for it to get sidelined. And my favorite episode is strikeback, which arguably has the best Ladynoir moment of all time. But if I’m going to judge this correctly I have to judge this relationship on its highs AND it’s lows. And trust me some of the lows are really low.

But let’s not pretend that the ladynoir in the movie is perfect either, yes it has good scenes, but it also has some cringe. It does miss some of the best beats that can only be found in the show. But at the end of the day, what dynamic do I think fits the ideal of what I think Ladynoir is?

Show! Adrien: 4

Movie! Adrien: 4

It really did come down to the wire. But I ruled in favor of the movie, because in the end, the ladynoir in the show fizzled. And Movie!Adrien gets to be closer to ladybug then show!adrien ever could be. No masks between them.

With Marinette:

I’m not gonna sugar coat this one. Show!Adrien wins this one so easily it’s not even funny. Adrien is constantly growing closer to Marinette throughout the show, while his relationship with ladybug is all over, his love and care for Marinette grows. Not to mention, show Adrienette has so many moments that are much higher than any in the movie. The umbrella scene, the statue scene, the picnic scene. And before you ask, why this and ladybug are a separate category, it’s because to Adrien in the show he doesn’t know. Now let’s not say the relationship doesn’t exist in the movie, I actually like that the two can talk early on, and hang out as a group. Movie!adrien even opens up to her. But it doesn’t make sense why Movie!Marinette is picking Movie Adrien over chat noir.

Show!Adrien: 5

Movie!Adrien 4

With Nathalie

Another sweep for Show!Adrien. Nathalie in the movie does show some concern for Adrien, but it is not as clear as the care shown by Nathalie in the show. We see Adrien in the show help and thank Nathalie. Though it makes sense that movie!Adrien would be more withdrawn with Nathalie as set up by his personal arc in the movie. His dynamic with Nathalie is not as deep. Maybe if they had another scene together it could have worked but… it didn’t shake out

Show!Adrien: 6

Movie!Adrien: 4

With His Father

I can’t even begin to describe how EASILY movie! Adrien wins this. Like the dynamic in the show is such a mess that most people are clamoring for Gabriel’s death. Heck! That’s the one universal agreement on the season 5 finale that everyone likes. They like that show!Gabriel is dead. His dynamic with his dad in the movie is much more grounded and understandable. Adrien is hurt by his father being distant, and has sadly gotten accustomed to it. Adrien even calls out his father without the need of encouragement. He was emotional and vulnerable and called out his dad’s neglect. There we even see the parallel of how the two view heartbreak, shutting themselves off. but we see that even in his grief and madness Gabriel still cares about his son, worrying about him, and even when he’s about to get what he wanted; he stops when realizing he hurt his son. We see why Gabriel couldn’t bear the grief, how much his baby boy matters to him. We see that Adrien understands his fathers grief and wants to help him let go. And we get the most genuine moment between the two in the entire franchise. Something 100 pancake breakfasts couldn’t do.

Show!Adrien: 6

Movie! Adrien: 5

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Agency

If we removed Adrien from the plot, how much would actually be impacted?

So this is where things get kind of murky. Because in the movie, does drive a section of the plot and his actions do have some consequences.

And if someone else was Chat noir, Hawkmoth would have won. No questions asked.

In the show, Adrien is arguably the most critical character to the plot, Marinette’s motivations are heavily entrenched in Adrien. And Adrien being there did basically set all the plot for the Agreste in motion. But he is often sidelined. It’s more of Adrien existing as a MacGuffin then a character at times.

But Adrien’s inability to make choice for himself actually becomes a plot point with him being a sentimonster.

It’s hard to really judge in some aspects because in the end Adrien’s choices in both mediums aren’t as impactful as one would think.

So if I had to call it.

Show!Adrien: 9

Movie! Adrien: 5

Adrien in the show and in the movie both have an agency issue, but in the grand scheme of things, Adrien’s actions in the show do hold more weight, even if a lot of them get negated.

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Ending

Now in truth I think it is difficult comparing the portrayal of a movie character to one from Tv, especially when both are trying to accomplish two different tasks.

I enjoy both iterations and I can recognize the flaws that are within each.

It really does make me wonder how different things would be if Zag and Astruc were more in step rather than clashing because if both Adrien’s could be mixed there is something amazing here. I do want a sequel to explore movie Adrien more, and I want to see how things would go with Adrien and Marinette not having to deal with the identity shenanigans.

But if there needs to be a winner

Show!Adrien wins

TL:DR

Show Adrien wins because more writing is often better but the movie Adrien does have some things going for him.

#miraculous ladybug #ml #miraculous movie #Adrien agreste #Gale’s analysis

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