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justahappycloud · 4 months

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@duquesademiel tagged me to share my top 10 books (1) of the year so here they go in no specific order bc i read a lot this year and if i think too much about it i will combust (it's dec 30th, it's illegal to think too much)

but since it's still me, you also get a loose synopsis and we can pretend this is also a book rec list, okay? it's a win-win, i know.

📚 Babel: An Arcane History by R. F. Kuang

a postcolonial view of steampunk magic England from 1982. revolution and all its ugly but powerful reality. long, but really worth it.

📚 Cenizas de Carnaval by Mariana Travacio

a collection if short stories focused on the fragility of life. read it in august i think but i still think about the stiry of the man and the glue

📚 Under The Whispering Door by T. J. Klune

magic and grief and gay and death and gay and life and GAY. loved it. not as much as the house in the cerulean sea, but really loved it

📚 Malibu Rising by Taylor Jenkins Reid

reading this with sand under my feet and the sound of the ocean was one of my best ideas, ngl. interesting story, not one of my faves, but it was good

📚 A Spoonful of Murder by J. M. Hall

murder solved by retired teachers. 10/10

📚 The Embroidered Book by Kate Heartfield

the story of the life of marie antoinette and her sister charlotte except they can do magic. what are you waiting for??? go and read it!!

📚 Operación Masacre by Rodolfo Walsh

non-fiction retelling of the events that occurred on july 9th, 1956, when 12 civilians were arrested in Argentina before being illegally executed

📚 Orlando by Virginia Woolf

mock-biography of the famous poet of the 17th (and 18th, and 19th, and 20th) century, Orlando.

📚 The Grimrose Girls by Laura Pohl

fairytale retellings with a macabre twist, very focused on friendship and #girlpower [part of a duology]

📚 Nosotros dos en la tormenta by Eduardo Sacheri

historical fiction about two friends from opposing revolutionary units in 1975's Argentina

📚 A Marvellous Light by Freya Marske

fantasy historical fiction about two members of the bureaucracy who represent two different worlds (that of magic humans and normal humans) who must work together when the imposition of one world over the other puts all of them at risk. [part of a series]

📚 The Foxhole Court by Nora Sakavic

invented sports. found family. mafia. gay and ace. it reads like a fanfiction both derogatorily and affectionately, so read at your own risk, but i did read all three books in three days

📚 El Juguete Rabioso by Roberto Arlt

alternatively titled "Silvio Astier Tries To Be The Most Successful Thief Of Buenos Aires And Fails Spectacularly At It (HAPPY ENDING)"

📚 Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

not a synopsis bc you know what the book's about but just a note to say that i had this books since my last year of highschool and only now i got to read it, so yay me, tying loose ends from the worst period of my life

📚 Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhis

a prequel to jane eyre told from the point of view of bertha mason, previously known as antoinette cosway

📚 A Mercy by Toni Morrison

1680s story about a family of misfits and what happens to this group of slaves when the man who enslaved them dies

open tag bc if you made it this far i want to know what you've read so i can get recs for next year 👀

(1) sol fucked up so you get +10 recs, but you don't have to be insane like me and you can o it the normal way

#damn #i did read a lot in spanish this year #but good for me bc that's what i wanted hsjfsh #tag you're it #also i cheated with like three of these bc i read them for uni #but since i enjoyed them and they didn't feel like work i'll count them

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hedgehogcryptid · 3 years

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I’ve started reading The Foxhole Court

Mostly because I heard it had ace/demi representation, and also because a sports-mafia-colege mix sounded funny. I like it so far, but I kind of wanted to vent about when Neil comes back to Wymack’s after his first practice, and spills coffee grounds on the floor, and flinches hard when he gets shouted at, and:

"I want you to understand something," Wymack said. "I am a loud, grouchy old man. I like to yell and throw things. But I don't throw punches unless some punk is dumb enough to try me first. I have never, ever hit someone without provocation, and I'm sure as hell not going to start with you. You hear me?" Neil didn't believe him, but he said, "Yes, Coach." "I'm serious," Wymack said. "Don't you dare be more afraid of me than you are of Andrew."

Like, dude. You work regularly with traumatised teenagers. You specifically decided to work with traumatised teenagers. You have strong evidence this particular teenager was mistreated by the adults in his life, and you decide to tell him that? In those terms??? You tell him “I’m gonna scream if I wanna and is your job to not be scared of me“??? You’re not even gonna try to soften up a bit???? Honestly, he might be shown later as trying to reign in his volume and attitude a little, I don’t know, but how can you tell this kid you’re gonna be throwing things around??? It doesn’t really matter how you behave afterwards, you can’t say that and expect anything good to come out of it. Considering the story’s tone I suppose is posible he’s as traumatised as the rest of them, or that he has anger issues or whatever. As an adult who chose this career path I still expected better from you Wymack!!!! *Shakes fist at God in protest*

Wait! Also!! The “I don’t trow punches unless some punk is dumb enough to try me first”. Didn’t you thought that, maybe, I don’t know, abusive people blame their victims for this shit all the time???? “Look what you made me do, I wouldn’t do this if you behaved. Now I look like the bad one here!!!” How could you think you sounded reasuring??? You’re just basically telling him there might come a time when you’ll hit him, specially if you don’t specify what “try me first“ and “provocation” means. That’s super fricking vague. It could mean anything! It could mean not washing the dishes! It could mean coming home drunk!

Get your shit together dude!!!!

#the foxhole court #all for the game #aftg #david wymack #trauma #traumatised teenagers #neil josten

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thegreenerartist · 4 years

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Okay okay guys wait

Just I M A G I N E

The Foxhole Court,,, but set in the Philippines (they’ll all still be the same characters but it’ll just take place in the Philippines!)

The Filipino & Filipina Foxes!

Okay so Neil is still on the run, with 5 mil ($) in his pocket, but think about it. There are 7,641 islands. 7,641. His father would have absolute HELL trying to find him and his mother (until she died oop) (probably somewhere where they are trying to sneak into Luzon?) So then Nathan will be stationed, not in Baltimore, but maybe somewhere in Luzon (it being the central island and all)

Neil would know how to speak English (universal language duh), Tagalog (common Filipino language) and maybe Ilongo? Or Ilocano? For Luzon, but then he’ll probably know the common languages too, like Bisaya and Cebuano for Visayas, maybe he’ll know Arabic or Islamic for Mindanao? (I highlighted the ones I think he would most likely know, but most Filipino langauges tbh sound similar. Takes maybe a few months, weeks if you’re good, to learn a language like a native)

So idk how to segúé (how to even spell??) to him meeting the Foxes bUT HE GETS THERE

Soo let’s say the Cousins (yes thats their official tital no I don’t take critisism) know how to speak Arabic while Kevin is the one who speaks Bisaya. Everyone can speak English and Tagalog because Filipinos are taught English and Tagalog early on oop

Okay fine this will still be an Exy universe (but can yall imagine? Street basketball?)

They’ll probably be learning somewhere in Luzon, most likely NCR for plot because it’s probably where Nathan and his men are too

They meet and stuff, cool shenanigans

(Their backstories might be a tad rougher than in canon because,,, yeah. It happens here)

Okay so I just wanna get to the fun stuff, since that’s what I originally planned for this post

Nicky and Allison will deffo be like those ladies who wash clothes and gossip, i.e. spreading chismis

Nicky reminds me of the gays here that go “oH HEY MGA BES!”

Andrew is THAT dude who goes up to an ice cream guy and asks for, “Cornetto. The sweetest one you have”

He wouldnt like dirty ice cream. It’s too bland and milky, not sweet

Neil would fit right in. Everyone here wears shirts and pants/shorts. Some guys dont even bother putting a shirt on

Dan and Neil go bonding to the palengke (wet market) since most of the other foxes have been raised in middle class

Matt buys those birds in the cages so he can set them free like the good boy he is :)

Renee is a BOSS in chinese garter

Allison was the heir to,, idk probably something like SM or something

Aaron is every asian parents’ dream tbh

Also I love the idea of them getting houses since Filipino houses here look basic as heck but look SO authentic, as in yall could go, “wow that looks like a normal house” but then,,, yall would know. That’s a Filipino’s house right there

Everyone get’s THOSE houses where there are literal bars on the windows and the fence is so goddamn tall

Except for Kevin and Allison

Those two would get the classy stuff

Like Allison would probably be living in those houses that were during the Spanish Colonial Period (with Renee because duh)

Kevin will get a private resort or something somewhere in Boracay or Palawan or something (with no one because I fully support aro ace Kevin [ but bi Kevin is awesome too though don’t get me wrong {sorry Thea}])

I would love to propose the idea of Neil calling Andrew ‘mahal’ or ‘love’(THEY ARE MARRIED HERE LET ME LIVE) (ILL JUST SAY THEY GOT MARRIED IN THE US OKAY)

In the morning, when they wake up and Neil goes, “m’hal, pakibukas ung bintana” “love, can you open the blinds?”

(Fun fact, the prefix paki is a polite way of asking someone to do the action, the same way you say ‘may’, ‘can’ and ‘please’)

But then ‘mahal’ ALSO means ‘expensive’ in Tagalog. I find it funny because Andrew is truly, very, absolutely expensive

“My god napakamahal naman yan’ Drew’!”

“Oh my god Drew’, that’s so expensive!”

“mAy stAnDArdS akO excUSE Me!!11!”

“I have standards excuse me!”

“M A H A L ‘W A G”

“L O V E , N O”

I love the idea that they play basketball in their free time with neighbourhood kids, as in street basketball

It starts with Andrew and Neil

They were outside, holding hands (it’s ok Philippines isn’t SUPER homophobic) (and even if someone was stupid enough to talk them down, they have knives :)

And these,,, kids go up and be like, “laro?” “play?”

Because kids right?

And BOOM it becomes a thing (usually on their breaks :)

Renee joins because Peace Corps (actually no. She did it out of the kindness of her own heart)

Then Dan, Matt and Nicky wanted to join

Allison was dragged there by Renee

Katelyn wanted Aaron to come too

Kevin decided to go since it’s the off-season and he has nothing to do, yaba daba da he actually misses his foxes

He keeps mumbling, “buti pa kapag nilaro nila an Exy *grumble grumble*” “it would be better if the played Exy instead *grumble grumble*”

They are happy :D

Okay so yall know how Kevin is a health freak

So one day Andrew will eat one too many goSH DARN AICE AND KEVIN WILL HAVE A F I T

Andrew doesn’t care

Until he does

Kevin can go on and on about how unhealthy some foods are and blah blah blah

But yall cANNOT TELL ME that that boy does NOT eat those streetfoods

Im talking about fishballs, squidballs, siomai, tokneneng, ALL OF THAT JAZZ

(That’s what happens when yall let a person who never played in the neighbourhood try streetfood) (they get OBSESSED) (I can tell from experience lol)

Then Andrew keeps that footage for blackmail

Just imagine. Kevin Day. Eating. The oiliest. The most unhealthy. Goddamn streetfood

I’ll probably make more :P it was fun to write this!

I would love it if this were liked and reblogged 🥺👉👈 I would appreciate that very much because I spent some time on this and I need validation 🥺🥺

#aftg #tfc #all for the game #the foxhole court #aftg headcanon #tfc headcanon #dan wilds #kevin day #andrew minyard #matt boyd #aaron minyard #allison reynolds #nicky hemmick #renee walker #neil josten #akin #andreil #renison #aftg philippines

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ashrelfury · 5 years

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Could you do an AU in which Neil has a 'romantic' relationship with that asshole guy who sometimes hits him (he hits back, ofc). (Y'know, like a really unhealthy relationship). But then, he meets Andrew and the Foxes!

The guy’s name is Patrick.

His profile says he’s Ace, which is perfect because Neil is honestly tired of dating people who expect him to cuddle and have sex.

He wasn’t broken, but sex just wasn’t all that important to him. He was focused on his BA for applied mathematics, and playing exy for the Columbia Dragons.

What the profile didn’t say was that he had heavy fists. It took Neil 3 months to figure it out.

It took Patrick 4 seconds to know that Neil gave as good as he got, if not better.

The first time, Patrick accused Neil of cheating on him with his roommate. Aaron wasn’t impressed, but he stood there in the living room, listening to Patrick yell and Neil fume, though Neil plays his part silently.

It obviously isn’t what Patrick wants, because the anger just seems to rise and now its Aaron who’s withdrawing slowly, memories of his mother clouding his mind. Of fists and words and...Abuse. That’s what it was. Abuse. Aaron knows that now, can admit it to himself. His foster mother, Bee had helped him work through it.

Neil is reminded of his father, and that makes him numb inside. Fury is an affective counterattack to apathy though, becasue soon, Patrick’s fist is holding tight to Neil’s shirt collar and then a fucking brick is coming down on his face.

Neil falls back, but it doesn’t last.

Nobody knows what happened to Nathan Wesninski. The Feds never managed to find evidence, and no one really bothered for long. No one cries when bad men die. No one worth while anyways.

Neil knows though.

Nathan Wesninski died with a knife in his throat, looking up at his son’s smiling face.

When Mary left for England without her son, her son decided enough was enough. He killed his father and walked away in the dead of night. Nathaniel Wesninski died that night, buried in that horrible mansion with his father, and Neil Josten came into existence thanks to a friendly hacker in San Antonio TX known as Becky.

Now, standing in front of a pissed off 5′11 asshole who thought anger gave him reason enough to lay hands on Neil.... he snapped again.

Using training he never wanted to learn in the first place, Neil rolled to his feet, spitting up blood on the floor and smiling grimly through bloodied teeth. He saw Patrick’s brown eyes widen, he saw the bigger man take a large step back, he saw Aaron pull out his phone.

He didn’t care.

“You’re going to regret that.” Neil said calmly, and then he’s all elbows and knees, because Lola had been a very effective teacher too. Even without the knives.

Patrick goes down after two blows and Neil legs him fall. He’s on the ground, but still conscious. Neil leaves him there. He turned instead to focus on Aaron, who reeled back at whatever he saw on Neil’s face. Neil didn’t blame him for it.

“Thanks for the help with Science. I’ll see you in class.”

And then he left.

Patrick called on Thursday. Neil ignored him.

Patrick found him on Saturday, apologizing and crying. Neil spat in his face.

On Tuesday, he came to Neil with a new pair of running shoes and Neil’s exy jersey number stretched over his broad back, a shy smile on his face and guilt in his eyes.

Neil gave in.

The peace didn’t even last 2 weeks.

He was in Patrick’s dorm again, Aaron in his room with someone Neil didn’t get a good look at, because he’d been taking a shower. His apartment was out of hot water, and using the dorm’s showers was better than using the ones in the court. Neil hated open showers, his scars always standing in stark contrast to his pale skin.

He had on a large shirt, a shirt he’d stolen from Rivers, his teammate on the Dragons. Apparently, that was his mistake.

The second he walked into the living room, Patrick’s smile dropped like a bomb, and Neil hadn’t even heard the whistle before the boom. The glare nearly had him stumbling though, which was sorta amazing, given his past.

“That’s not your shirt.” Patrick said, voice gravel and dangerous. Instantly, Neil’s back straightened, his heart pounding in his chest.

“It’s Rivers’.” Neil answered, as clearly as he could manage. (”Don’t mumble at me, boy! Speak clearly or get the fuck back down to the basement!)

Neil was too lost in his thoughts to notice that Patrick had gotten up off the couch and started to stalk towards him,.

He did notice when his back hit the wall though. He also noticed when a fist dug itself into his ribs.

“What the fuck are you doing wearing another guy’s shirt?!” Patrick hissed. Low. Quiet. Like he didn’t want to get Aaron’s attention. He likely didn’t, but Neil sure as hell did. Because this wasn’t Nathan, and he wasn’t helpless.

“Get the fuck off me!” Neil yelled, and a knee came up right into Patrick’s side. The man’s hands fell away, but Neil wasn’t done. An elbow to the back of Patrick’s head had the man on his knee, a groan falling from his lips. Neil’s smile was sharp. The Butcher coming back for a peak at the real world, and craving blood.

“What the fuck is going on here.”

Neil looked over Patrick’s doubled over form and met eyes with Aaron... wait... no.

“Aaron?” Neil called, his tone more a question than anything.

And then another Aaron came up behind the first one and Neil’s brain did a double step.

“Not Aaron.” He heard himself say, just before his back hit the wall again, his head cracking as it too collided with the white plaster, and also, Patrick was in his face.

“You fucking piece of-” Patrick didn’t even get to finish.

In the blink of an eye, Not-Aaron was behind the bigger man, and Patrick stiffened, everything going still in a hot second and Neil was left confused.

“Fuck! Andrew!” A new voice came from behind Patrick, one Neil didn’t really recognize. He didn’t really care about it one way or the other, especially not when he heard the low order spoken in a near whisper, just over Patrick’s shoulder.

“Step away from him, or you’re going to need a new kidney, Miller.”

Not-Aaron... Andrew, had a more dangerous spark to him than Patrick could ever hope to, and Neil didn’t even need to be looking at his face to notice it. He felt it, like liquid nitrogen being injected right down his spinal cord. And Neil shivered. Not entirely in fear.

Patrick did step back, pure terror in his eyes as he looked into Neil’s face, not even daring to try to turn.

“It was just an argument, Minyard.” He tried instead, but the tremble in his voice and Neil’s derisive snort were more than incriminating enough.

“I don’t care what it was. Go. Lick your wounds in private, Miller. I don’t want to see you again while I’m here, and if I do, I’ll strike first. No questions later.”

In a mere moment, it looked like whatever had been keeping Patrick stationary was now taken away, because the big man moved faster then Neil had ever seen him move, out of the room and back into his own. Not even sparing a glance back at Neil, who now stood face to face with Not... um.. right, Andrew.

You must be Josten.” Andrew said. And just like that, all the treat was gone. All the danger disappearing like it was never there. Neil relaxed despite himself.

“And you’re Andrew. The Twin.” He didn’t need to be a genius to guess, and Andrew obviously thought so too if his bored expression was anything to go by. For some reason, Neil found himself grinning.

“Thank you. But I could have handled it.”

“Yeah. Aaron said you could. Doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy doing that.”

Neil laughed.

“Holy fuck, is that an honest smile?!”

The voice drew Andrew and Neil’s attentions away from each other, and to Aaron’s door. There, in the doorway, stood a tall curly haired men with a wide grin on his face and a friendliness to him Neil had never been comfortable with.

“Hey, I’m Nicky. Aaron’s told us all about you.” Nicky winked, and Neil frowned.

“I didn’t tell you shit.”

Aaron came out next, and he gave Neil a slight nod. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” it came out like a reflex, but it was true this time. His eyes wondered back to Andrew, but the other man was looking at the door.

“Lets go.” Andrew said, moving for the exit.

“Shit! Andrew wait! Kevin isn’t even-” Nicky tried, but Andrew spoke right over him.

“Fuck Kevin.”

Aaron sighed, but walked to the door anyways. Before he walked through it, he looked over at Neil. “Well. You coming?”

Neil didn’t have to think twice.

He never expected to find a home at the Foxhole. The therapy gym had character, but no where near the level of its workers within.

It took Neil 3 months to become family.

It took Andrew 4 to kiss him.

And it took 2 years to get married.

Maybe sex wasn’t so bad though, because no matter what Neil’s sexuality had been before, he was Andrew-sexual now.

(I wrote this at work. On my phone. Which is a fucking nightmare in itself, but I did it. I’m sorry its so short, but yeah. Here you go lol.)

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tfcrp · 5 years

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THE FOXHOLE COURT: NOVEMBER 5-NOVEMBER 11

ONLINE:

“The Wilkes-Meyers Hornets will come to Palmetto on Friday night to take on the Foxes, and this game will be a reunion of sorts: junior Fox goalkeeper Emmett Ashford spent part of a season on the Hornets—though you’d be forgiven for forgetting, as he never made as much a splash on the court with them as he did off of it before leaving the team and the school midway through his freshman season.“

“The game will also be another installment in the saga of freshman dealer Raphael Peruggia: not on the court, but on the bench, where he’s spent the majority of his first season. After a red card against the Edgar Allan Ravens earlier in October, the ERC stepped in and suspended Peruggia for one additional game, sending a message to a young striker who has already shown a disturbing intent to injure on the court.”

“Almost one month since an AC separation took him off the court, all eyes are on sophomore Fox striker Akira Sato, whose return to the court should be imminent. Will he come back against the Hornets? We’ll find out on Friday. But for junior striker Leo Duarte, injured in the same game, recovery looks to be further away.”

“The Foxes may have pulled off an impressive win against the Dolphins in Florida, but it’ll take much more than one win to prove that this year’s Foxes are the real deal. The Hornets are eager to bounce back after a tough loss against the Terrapins, and the Foxes have yet to string two wins together this season.”

- COLLEGE EXY ONLINE, “HORNETS AT FOXES: PREVIEW.”

“Did any of you brave the Fox Halloween Party? Did any of you brave the kissing booth? Buckle in, because we have a Very Special Halloween Edition of Foxwatch to share with you...”

“Which Vixen do you think got the most action at the kissing booth? We’ve got our money on a certain redhead, who certainly seemed to take to it with gusto. Among her victims? A bambi-eyed blonde. Hey KP, what’s the sitch? Or maybe we should say: Mamma Mia! Though only time will tell if it’s a ‘Here We Go Again’ kind of deal.”

“We know one person who didn’t brave the party: the Foxes’ own Vice Captain, spotted sneaking through the back door of the Vixen Den without a costume—and then not seen again. What’s the matter, can’t stand the company of your own teammates? We can’t say we blame you, but we’re not sure if that’s exactly leadership material. And what about the Vixen who let her in? We call collusion, and we can’t imagine his Captain would be too happy about it, either.”

“But more than one Vixen seemed to have their fun at the kissing booth, including one of their newest and youngest. This Juliet seemed to be drawn to one of the Foxes like, well, a moth to a flame. Or lamp. But this is one moth that sure seems to get around: she seemed to spend most of the night with a—well, we’re not exactly sure how to describe it—BDSM kitty cat? And doesn’t she have a history with Juliet’s step brother? Shakespeare must have forgotten about that one.”

“And, finally, let this be a lesson to us all: if you don’t make a move, there’s one Fox who will. And we’re not talking copout cheek kisses here, either—this is one lion who definitely isn’t cowardly, and who doesn’t need two hands to steal your girl. A certain someone else should take notes—but who are we kidding? He probably won’t.”

- FOXWATCH, YOUR SOURCE FOR GOSSIP AT PALMETTO STATE UNIVERSITY

ON CAMPUS:

With the fun of Halloween behind them, the Foxes return to practice: if they want to keep themselves in Championships contention, they need to start stringing wins together, can’t afford to slack off for one game—or, as their Coach and Captain would have it, for one practice.

It’s a rare double-header for Palmetto State Athletics: not since homecoming have both the football and Exy teams been scheduled to play at home on the same weekend, and the town is bustling more than usual with orange-clad fans. Despite the buzz, the Foxes stick to their familiar routine: a short practice in the morning on Friday, November 9, followed by a full day of classes.

For both teams, it’s an important weekend: the football team’s place in their own playoffs is far from secured, after their strong start to the season turned into a losing skid, just as the Foxes are starting to build momentum.

(OOC information related to the game under the cut)

The results of the game against the Hornets will be posted on Friday night and, in order to put it together, there are a few things I need from you:

Due to the size of the roster, there is a chance that not every player will get to play in every game, so if you want your character not to play in the game (for reasons that could be related to being late to practice, poor performance in practice, mouthing off to Wymack/Grant/Claudia, or any other reason you can think of!) please let me know. While you can still let me know if you want your character to get a red card during the game, no one is required to be benched for this game: with our current roster and the number of red cards and injuries, I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to play everyone!

If there’s anything exceptional you want to take place during the game (fights, red cards, injuries, exceptionally poor play, etc.) please let me know, and I’ll do my best to work it in. This will work on a first-come-first-serve basis, if the game is getting too packed with details, you might have to wait for the next one;

After each game, two players will be selected to answer questions from the press. If you want to volunteer your character for press duty, please message me! This will also be on a first-come-first-serve basis. And if you volunteer for press duty, please only do so if you expect to be able to play out the thread with your partner in a timely fashion. Press duty slots for this game are already filled, so hang on until next time!

Remember, you only have to reach out to me if there’s something very specific you want me to work in!

And, as always, I welcome any feedback!

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poppymadness · 6 years

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💖 HQ, Knb, All Out, Free, BNHAand DnA I think you watched at least a little bit of it, didn't u? And since I know who some of your favorites are already u can just rant about why u love them

@naturalpeaches said:💖 can i be an ass and say twdg even tho ik the answers p much OH the last kingdom. bring it to ur blog amber. talk about it. accept it.

💖 listen those 2 weren’t enough. give me the raven cycle. give me the foxhole court. give me six of crows. giVE ME CRIMINAL MINDS HAAAAA BITCH. why not throw the 100 in there too. also talk abt ur boo in the sun is also a star. give him some lovin

💖 N A R U T O

hope it’s cool just to throw ya both in here bc i’m lazy

haikyuu: (3) kuroo tetsurou - iiiiiiiiiiii fucking love kuroo sO much, a huge tall not so dumb dumbass god. i don’t know what to say dfkhka i fuckin Love him thanks dude. i nEVER FORGET THE FUCKIN LAUGH GOD FUCK FOR FUCKS SAKE skjfd. whenever i get in Kuroo Moods they last SO long i can’t get a break. and gamer au kuroo is killer it’s too good. listen he’S A BIG FOOL and i LOVE him want the best for him bc he’s great, good, good dude. i also rlly fuckin love terushima man ooooo my god, imagine him and kuroo bein buds hORRIBLE

kuroko no basket: (1) kiyoshi teppei - mY BOY KIYOSHI AAAAA. hE’S EVEN T A L L E R mmmm 6′4″ the fuck mann. we know my love for this dumbass i love him so so muuch fuck. thought it was kuroko at first, bitch no. I LITERALLY DIDN’T KNOW I LOVED HIM TILL AFTER I FINISHED THE WHOLE SHOW. like, just, the more i saw stuff involving him the more i was like ooo no no waiT i LoVE HiM i screamed when he showed up in the second opening when we rewatched it oooommggggg. he’S SO GOOD I HOPE HIS KNEE IS HEALED I HOPE HE GETS TO PLAY BASKETBALL AS A LIL SIDE HOBBY OR SOMETHIN HOPE HE’S FUCKIN HAPPY!!!!! whY DOES HE SELF-SACRIFICE SO MUCH BOY OOO MY GOD WHEN HE REALIZED THE TEAM GOT HIS BACK TOO BITCH HE SO CUTE. mmmmm i love hiiiiim bois. also love akashi i keep finding it funny ur intimated by him cj

all out: (4) ebumi masaru - i can’t. i can’t explain why i love him oR WHY HE’S SO HIGH A FAVE GOD. this whole fandom is like Those Thighs and make ebumi all about fuckin sex like what a Tough Boy like yA HE BUYS (rents? whatever) PORN THAT’S FUCKIN SO FUNNY TO ME BUT MMMM he. more. i nevER STOP THINKIN BOUT THE EP WITH ISE THAT EMO SHIT DO U SEE HOW MUCH EBUMI CARES BOUT HIS FRIEND GOD Fuck. like yeah, just take the money. this is what was left for me but idc here take it u need it i stg season 2 better be in the works i want more of his backSTORY. oh hE FUCKIN BLEACHES HIS HAIR WHAT A PUUUUNK, HE TRAINS SO HARD HE CARES SO MUCH ABOUT RUGBY GETS P I S S E D WHEN PPL HALF-ASS IT LIKE?? FAIR ENOUGH. OH THETY ACTUALLY DREW HIS HAIR DOWN RIGHT ADJHF A OoO FUCK TAHT. i’m good it’s cool alright bye gion, raita & ise are my best friends thank

free: rin matsuoka - i. thought it was nagisa at first. i wanna cry fuckin nagisa jesus. good boy but hell no. rin?? is so sweet i’m sorry fuckin flew haru to australia & shit he’s so good i love him. i gotta do this i’m srry FUCK whoever thinks rin would be abusive with haru thx. i havE A RIN POSTER G O D

boku no hero academia: todoroki shouto - i literally didn’t have a fave in this show until one (1) specific episode in season 2 with him. thought i was gonna live forever not having a fave in this show. i had actually been growing to like him and was like No, i told myself to not like him bc he’s so popular hdkfa. and then that ep came and i was like,,,oof i Love him, love love love what a goOD BOY. he’s…so cute..comin to terms with his powers still can’t get over he interned with his dad he just…..wants to improve…is improving…..so good.

daiya no ace: ? - ok, i never developed a fave while watching it, at least not where i got to. i don’t even remember where i stopped oof that’s bad. but i had thought at that time that i rlly loved chris?? eijun is precious, i fuckin love him. miyuki is great i love him too. also really loved kuramochi?? so if i had continued i think it would’ve been one of em.

the walking dead game: kenny, luke, clem, gabe - pls don’t make me choose… kenny…tried his hardest to be good, worked his ass off till the last moment to improve himself and didn’t get the redemption he deserved. that man is good, he was just pushed to his max and couldn’t get back down. luke, luke is a sunshine boy who was too good for the world, a positive outlet could make anyone happy, did his best, didn’t deserve to die. cleM MY BADASS B A B Y HAS GROWN SO MUCH I LOOOOVE HER AND CAN’T WAIT FOR HER HAPPY ENDING TELLTALE YOU FUCKS I AM BEGGING YOU1!! gabe…annoyed me at first…stole my heart….just a boy thrown into the apocalypse tryin to be happy…he’s doing his best, he’s learning, truly not such a brat as assholes make him out to be. nick my boy i’m so sorry i would’ve included you ur so close

the last kingdom: uhtred & alfred - i love uhtred the godless and king alfred of wessex very much indeed. uhtred is just a wreck honestly, this danish bro got a lot goin on he just wants the land he deserves i just say he’s bein greedy, go be happy under alfred’s rule i still love u tho uhtred u dumbass. alfred! got the peace he wanted! i love alfred so much he wants to be a king without war unless he’s not given the choice, cares about his family so much, afraid he’ll be punished for the crown that’s not rightfully his own. alfred is so good, i love this man.

the raven cycle: (5) adam parrish - mmmmmmm what a good boy. an important boy, a very much loved boy. iiiii hate havin his pov sometimes, some relatable things in there, i love him so much. he’s not. his father. thanks. gotta say that a lot wanT HIM TO KNOOOOOOOW. he’s so good he’s improving himself he’s doin it!! go adam!! goD ASHLETY I KEEP THINKING OF THINGS YOU HAVEN’T GOTTEN TOOOOOOOO. mmmm it’s ok to still be stuck and to have bad days he doesn’t have to get over it right away!! it’s not somethin that’ll just be over!! dhfad smALL STEPS my boy i love u…. all bc, he…legally free (tryin not to spoil dfhjdaf).. don’t mean he has to be over it…take ur time adam. i’m thinkin of the emo thing in trk fuck wrong devil dkhfad. i just wanna cry he’s so good worth so much ronan & i will fight any and all fucks who wanna Go. i!! love him!! he deserVES TO FEEL LOVED AND TO FEEL HOW TO LOVE MMMM COOL i’m gonna stop i’ll just repeat myself - i just thOUGHT OF THE ‘FUCK YOU GANSEY’ WOW FIRST BOOK FUCK B YE

the foxhole court: …andrew minyard… - idk man?? it’s so lowkey?? it’s chill i literally don’t even have anything to say. nicky, neil & dan are my squad love em.

six of crows: jesper fahey - idk what fuckin bitch ass mood i had to be in when i read soc but if i wasn’t in it jesper would totally have been my fave. i wouldn’t take him away from wylan anyways (statement kiiinda counts for the two aforementioned also whoop). jesper?? deserves the world, but so does everyone else they all deserve the world even u bitch ass brekker who would not deal with my bullshit ever.

criminal minds: aaron hotchner - god ashley screw off askin me for cm. love hotch, would die for him, too good of a guy.

the 100: bellamy blake - is a fuckin whore. iiiiiii love bellamy so much. bitch ass goes from a punk i hated to a good dude to a punk ass influenced by some huge ass prick dick and then struggles with himself for the next season and will now hopefully feel a bit better at least for gods sake. all bc you’ve done bad things doesn’t mean ur bad bell… i still never get over fucking pike taking advantage of him when he was vulnerable fuck off i just want him to feel better!! take responsibility but don’t let it push you down fucking get up!! you’ll get up!! mmm he’s so good he just wants to make everything right but clarke makes everyTHING FUCKIN GO WRONG. i just…not everything is excusable but he can make up for it he will and he’s worth it,,,, people gotta forgive him at some point he’s trying his hardest to make up for everything and he keeps beating himself on it mmmmdfahdf i love him

the sun is also a star: daniel jae ho bae - idk what to say about him ashley god fuck. he’s so cute though?? what a cheesy dude. ugh literally so cute i gotta reread it

naruto: kiba inuzuka - what a prideful ass i fuckIN LOVe him thx. i mean i was fuckin doomed from that start he has best boy akamaru & fuckin has a jutsu where he turns into a wolf?? and his fuckin mom and sister have wolves?? doomed before i even fuckin knew it. he’s soooo cute, never take his fuckin hoodie off idk what’s cuter him trying to look tough in that hoodie that everyone literally thought was hair or havin the hoodie off and showin his actual hair that somehow makes him cuter,,, what’S HORRIBLE IS THE LEATHER JACKET OR WHATEVER IT IS HE WEARS IN SHIPPUDEN fuckin idiot. imagine him as hokage i can’t believe he wants to be hokage it’s so funny i’m sorry kiba i’ll support u just give me a minute to catch my breath. guys he’s just so cute, trains so hard, he’s so good i love him enthusiastic boy

#this is so long i'm srry #i didn't even rant in all of them either #also like #clarification not prob needed but numbers- where the top five r in the top five #i didn't rant enough about kuroo even tho i'm in a kuroo mood now lOL #idk what to say about him?? i just love him so deeply #and so many things are more headcanon-y #so idk

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very-secret-diary · 7 years

Text

I was tagged by @girl-of-summer (thank you!)

the last … 

1. drink: Water, always

2. phone call: Apparently my sister but I think that was an accident, so actually my mom as usual

3. text message: Amanda, pretty much this will be my answer whenever asked this question

4. song you listened to: I’m not sure, something on the radio? I wasn’t paying attention tbh

5. time you cried: Um well I almost started crying earlier today? My family was all outside doing fireworks and I finally decided maybe I could deal with it and I went out and they lit one and the sound stressed me out so bad I had to immediately go back inside and hold back tears? But for real was yesterday because I’m a mess.

6. dated someone twice: Never even dated someone once

7. kissed someone and regretted it: #neverbeenkissed

8. been cheated on: Lol nope

9. lost someone special: A few years ago

10. been depressed: I am almost 100% sure that I have pdd so like, always

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Never

favorite colors

12. Grey

13. Emerald green

14. Can I say grey again???

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: Sure, ish

16. fallen out of love: Nope lol

17. laughed until you cried: Plenty, I do that

18. found out someone was talking about you: No

19. met someone who changed you: Nah

20. found out who your friends are: I always know who my friends are

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: Nope

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: The vast majority

23. do you have any pets: Yes, two dogs, two cats, and technically a pig but I don’t really count that

24. do you want to change your name: No, I will never change any bit of my name, the most I would even consider doing is hyphenating my last name if I got married, and even then that’s unlikely (both getting married and hyphenating if I did)

25. what did you do for your last birthday: I baked myself some cookies, say in my room away from all human contact, and reread the Foxhole Court while eating those cookies all by myself. Also my cousin gave my a free ice cream cone. It was nice, even though it was the first time I had a birthday away from my family. 26. what time did you wake up: 9:45ish because my mom woke me up so we could go to my aunts house, normally it would be later

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Watching the Power Rangers movie with my family

28. name something you can’t wait for: To finally live in a place with AC again

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: I mean I’m lying on her bed rn, but she is in the front room, so the last time I actually saw her was like an hour or two ago lol

31. what are you listening to right now: The sound of the defective window unit the provides the only bit of cool air in my house

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: I don’t think so?

33. something that is getting on your nerves: Trying to survive a Florida summer without AC, it’s making me irritable lol

34. most visited website: Tumblr and YouTube. Technically on my laptop it says I go on YouTube more, but I use Tumblr mobile more than on my computer so yeah

35. hair colour: It’s definitely brown at this point, it used to be blonde and has darkened with age

36. long or short hair: What do I have? It’s like medium length right now, but I want to cut it shorter, to above my shoulders (that bisexual haircut is really what I’m aiming for). But I do sometimes miss my insanely long hair. On other people anything is nice.

37. do you have a crush on someone: Real people? No. Fictional people? So many.

38. what do you like about yourself: ??? I’m smartish. Edit: also my hair is really soft when I actually shower.

39. piercings: I pierced my ears on my 5th birthday, but I have not worn earrings since 5th grade so yeah

40. blood type: I have no clue but I really wish I did

41. nickname: Some people in my family call me Karebear? And my little sister when she was a baby called me Ra-ra, and currently my family refers to me as that when talking to my 6 month old cousin, but that’s really it. Kara is short enough as it is. Oh, some people like calling me Car-uh instead of Kare-uh, either to annoy me (family and friends) or because they constantly forget how to actually pronounce it so I’ve stopped correcting them (some teachers and acquaintances), but idk if that really counts

42. relationship status: Single

43. zodiac: Sagittarius

44. pronouns: She/her

45. favourite tv show: Avatar the Last Airbender, no question

46. tattoos: None currently, one day though

47. right or left handed: Right handed

48. surgery: Never had one thankfully

49. so called “flaws”: Lol I’m both majorly insecure and have a superiority complex (about some things), which is super fun. I have a hard time admitting I’m wrong, and when I know I’m right I will argue past the point that I technically should. I am a major major procrastinator who should be failing everything but I’m not, somehow. I like to lie. I’m actually kind of a really mean person. Like god, I’m not a good person.

50. sports: Exy

51. vacation: I would love to travel everywhere and do something actually exciting and interesting

more general

53. eating: I don’t do it as much as I should

54. drinking: Water, forever and always. I’m in like year 15 of literally only drinking water

55. i’m about to: Idk what I’m gonna do after this, maybe try to sleep, maybe read a little bit of the Raven King

56. waiting for: ? Nothing currently

57. want: So many things, but mostly air conditioning

58. get married: I’m not opposed, but it is not something I expect. If I do it will almost definitely be to a girl though, just putting that out there.

59. career: I am going to be a social worker, preferably international child welfare but we’ll see, everything is good

60. hugs or kisses: Hugs, but only my family and little kids

61. lips or eyes: Eyes are so so pretty, always eyes

62. shorter or taller: I don’t care, most girls are shorter than me, most guys are my height or taller. I like my height currently and others peoples height does not matter at all to me.

63. older or younger: Is this like about dating? Cause I don’t care as long as the gap is not too big?

64. nice arms or nice stomach: Um? I guess arms, because all tummies are good tummies unless they are mine, but my opinion on arms is more variable. Can I choose hands though, because lol that’s a thing.

65. hook up or relationship: Relationship

66. troublemaker or hesitant: I’m hesitant in practice, but somewhere in the middle in theory

67. kissed a stranger: again #neverbeenkissed

68. drank hard liquor: When you’ve only had water since you were 5 it really limits the exposure to alcohol, so no

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: I am constantly misplacing my glasses, but I’ve never lost them for more than a day or two

70. turned someone down: Nope

71. sex on the first date: I don’t think I would, but I support anyone and everyone else who decides to do so

72. broken someone’s heart: Almost certainly not

73. had your heart broken: Not in terms of my own relationships, other, fictional ones, lol yes

74. been arrested: No

75. cried when someone died: Probably when my grandfathers died, but I was to little to really be sure

76. fallen for a friend: I mean, I’ve had small crushes on people that I talk too, but I have very few people that I consider true friends, and I’ve never actually “fallen” for anyone

do you believe in …

77. yourself: That’s complicated, but I guess, I have a solid, mostly realistic life plan that I think is very possible

78. miracles: Also complicated? Divine miracles? Not really. But it depends on how you define miracles. I like to call really wonderful things that happen against almost all odds miracles, so of course.

79. love at first sight: Romantically No. You can have an almost immediate connection with someone (though you need more than sight for that, you need some sort of communication), but love grows. But familial love, yes. It is so so possible to fall in love with a new baby or other family member right away. And maybe that even extends to other types of platonic love.

80. santa claus: Lol as long as I have children in my life, then of course

81. kiss on the first date: If both parties are up for it then sure

82. angels: Not really. I’m a strong agnostic so I don’t believe, but I don’t disbelieve either. And I do sometimes like to think about it, there is something nice about it

other

83. current best friend’s name: Amanda and Victoria

84. eye colour: I say green, other’s say blue (and they used to 100% be blue), but it really depends on what I’m wearing and the lighting, it changes how people perceive them

85. favourite movie: Okay I’m going to list some of them: The Proposal (I seriously know almost every line to this movie I’ve watched it so many times), 10 Things I Hate About You (god I will never get over Kat and Patricks relationship), Big Hero 6 (that movie will always hold such a special place in my heart, especially Tadashi). I feel like I’m forgetting some important ones but like, I guess they can’t be my true true favorites if I’m not immediately thinking of them. And again I’m tagging: @weighing-of-wands @trucha-sai @andyouwait and @pansexualize, but again no pressure friends, I just don’t want to not tag anyone

#about me #tags

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wolfatworldsend · 7 years

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Release Date

2015 was the hardest year of my life. I lost several people I was very close to. I lost my mentor. I lost my friend. I lost my adoptive father. In this case, it was one person and I lost him on the 29th of December. I started 2016 in madness. I cut off my hair. I bleached and colored the shit out of it until it was a close approximation of his hair color (that was done subconsciously; even as I write this, it was a fact just realized). The rest of that year was awful, too. Mental illness: Depression newly diagnosed as Bipolar Disorder with an extreme depressive prevalence. I don't want to be around people. I can't tolerate them. Starting back to school was hard. Working with a psychologist was hard. Mistrusting my psychiatrist was hard. My medication makes me more ill than not. Despite all concerns, all hurt and despair and wishing and wanting, I won't end my life. I couldn't care less about myself, but I have a select few people I could never leave behind to handle the aftermath. Dying is easy; it's living that's hard. Those people are worth everything to me. I stay to make sure they'll be alright. Maybe you can see where I'm going with this. 2015 also saw me questioning my sexuality, wondering why I didn't understand people and the way they talked about and engaged in their relationships. I looked back on all the interactions I'd had, the relationships that I'd attempted but always (always) cut off before they turned sexual. Their I Love Yous meant nothing except I was going to let them down, I was wasting their time: I didn't feel the same way and was not even remotely interested in having sex without that. For them, sex was an intrinsic part of a romantic relationship, and why couldn't I just understand that? Why knock it when I hadn't tried it? You don't know what you're missing, they'd tell me. And I was perfectly okay with going on not missing it. They speculated about which gender I really felt attracted to since it surely wasn't them, it was me. And they weren't wrong. I've never been attracted to someone in that way. I don't know that I ever will, but it's a (very) safe bet that any attraction would be limited to an individual and that individual only. I don't swing. See where this is going now? A few months into 2016, I read Nora Sakavic's All For The Game series (although I, as I expect many others do, usually refer to them as The Foxhole Court series). I became obsessed with the series and its characters. I had crying fits because the person who would read any book I put to him would have read it too and met Andrew and Neil and understood why they were so incredibly important to me. People who have never suffered mental illness have a difficult time understanding what those who do endure. My blood relatives are this way. They are irritated and impatient with my depression. They are weirded out when I become flat and apathetic. They are scared when I get "that look" or use "that tone" where they're waiting for me to hurt someone physically. They say I'm fierce for such a small thing. Aside from the ace/demi/grey crowd, I haven't met anyone else who seems to get my sexuality either. Some people will ask about my love-life and recognize a general definition in what I'm telling them, but even with a term to apply to it, they proceed awkwardly if at all. At least in my experience around here, younger generations clue in faster and are more accepting and understanding of the sexual spectrum-- until it veers off into Aceland. Everyone else swings and doesn't get that kid content to sit and watch without joining in on the fun. I love Andrew. I love Neil. I love them together. They are real to me in a way most people don't understand or even attempt to, but that I feel this fandom comes as close as they can get, regardless of mental state or sexuality. It's beautiful. It makes me want to cry. Sometimes I do. He was my favorite person in the world, and now he's my favorite person out of it. I just can't help feeling that, with as much as he wanted to understand me, he would have read the books and come as close as possible to doing so. The books fill me with such joy and love, and the loss with such pain and grief: I hate it. 106%.

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