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deskofninak · 2 years

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Operation Infiltrate Mystery Sleepover // Spencer Reid x GN!Reader

Masterlist

Summary: Reader has worked at the BAU for over a year now and their sleepovers with fellow colleague and tech analyst extraordinaire Penelope Garcia are legendary. Legendary in that nobody else is invited and the girls have so much fun being mysterious about them that everyone else in the BAU seems to think they're either crashing weddings or donning capes and protecting the city as vigilantes. Cue Emily and Morgan hatching a plan to find out the truth and sending Spencer to infiltrate the next sleepover.

Warnings: Gender neutral BAU Agent!Reader, use of ‘Y/N’ once, mention of eating food, reader likes reading (Perks of Being a Wallflower & Truly Devious mentioned), tooth-rotting fluff.

Word Count: 2540 | 6 sections

Happy Reading! :)

Emily dropped the pen onto her desk and placed her chin on her propped up fist, watching as Garcia and you animatedly talked in the kitchenette. You had joined the team only a year ago and had managed to become closer to Garcia than even Morgan, which was saying something. You two were joined at the hip, constantly referring to secret jokes and giggling by yourselves.

“Those two at it again, huh?” JJ’s voice snapped Emily out of her reverie.

She nodded without glancing at her girlfriend. “What are they talking about now?”

“Garcia said they were planning another sleepover over the weekend.”

Emily huffed and JJ gave her a bemused look.

“They never invite us to their sleepovers,” Emily said, adding at JJ’s raised eyebrows, “Me. They never invite me to their sleepovers.”

“Why don’t you just ask if you can join them?” JJ said indulgently.

“I did.” A pause. “They said it wouldn’t be ‘my thing’.”

JJ chuckled under her breath. “Let me know when you’re done fuming so we can discuss where we’re having our date tonight.”

Emily distractedly waved at her as she left.

The lunch break brought Derek Morgan to Emily’s desk where he decided to join her in watching you and Garcia watch a YouTube video together while eating. Derek had also long wanted to be part of whatever you two were up to but, as with Emily, had been informed that the sleepovers just wouldn’t be his ‘vibe’. The two sat festering in their exclusion, eyes narrowed, nostrils flared, looking for all the world like two bulls ready to charge.

They soon found their sight blocked by a tall, lanky figure. “What are you two doing?” The boy genius looked back at you and Garcia, and then again at the fuming duo.

Emily was too bothered to try to conceal her feelings. “I want to go to their sleepover,” she ground out, Derek nodding seriously.

Your and Garcia’s sleepovers had become legendary within the team for the simple reason that you two refused to divulge what you did during them. What had started out as a simple joke had stretched to outright lying. At times, you claimed you crashed weddings, and ate and drank to your heart’s content. Other times, you claimed to don capes and save the city’s innocent residents from evil. Penelope had even photoshopped pictures of the two of you in capes to sell the joke. The more you were asked, the more ridiculous your lies became until the sleepovers came to represent something unattainable to Derek and Emily.

“I want to go to their sleepover,” Derek echoed, looking at Emily. “We need to plan a mission to infiltrate the next one.” Devilish grins rose on their faces.

Spencer frowned and backed away, but Derek stopped him. “Where do you think you’re going, pretty boy?”

“Away from you two and your crazy ideas.”

“Nuh-uh.” Derek shook his head. “You’re going to help us. And unless you want Emily to tackle you, I’d suggest you sit down.”

Reid sighed and perched on the edge of a spare seat.

“Rumour has it,” Derek paused, looking around to make sure no one was listening. Spencer rolled his eyes. Derek dropped his voice to a whisper. “Rumour has it you have a standing invite to their sleepovers.”

Emily’s eyes widened and she smacked Spencer’s arm.

“Ow, easy, Prentiss,” Spencer whined.

“I’ve been talking about attending their sleepover for weeks and you never mentioned this!”

“I didn’t want - stop hitting me, Prentiss - to gloat,” Spencer said.

“Here’s the plan,” Derek said, “Spencer is going to accept the invitation, and find out once and for all what goes on in there.”

Emily nodded. “Great plan.”

“No, not a great plan,” Spencer said. “I’m not going to spy on my best friends for two weirdos.”

“Okay, look,” Emily looked at Spencer so intensely the doctor looked away. “We know you have a crush on Y/N.”

“What? No!”

“Yes, you do and it’s really obvious to everyone except them.”

Spencer was readying more refusals but Emily shushed him.

“Don’t think of it as spying. Think of it as having a sleepover with your crush. That sounds fun, right?”

Spencer opened his mouth and then closed it again. Emily made it sound so nice and … Spencer shook his head, glaring up at Prentiss. “You’re a monster.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“And,” Derek added, “who knows? Maybe they’ll fall in love with you.”

Love. The word clanged through him.

Spencer took a deep breath and looked at Prentiss and Morgan. “I will think about it.”

They let out an excited cheer because they knew, the way Spencer did, that the answer was actually yes.

Spencer grabbed his go bag and headed out the door of the building towards Garcia’s car. He’d approached you and Penelope shortly after talking to Morgan and Prentiss, and you had been ecstatic that he’d finally decided to join in. Spencer, however, was a little nervous.

The tales of the sleepovers were wild and Spencer wasn’t sure he wanted to break into a zoo and feed the alligators, if that was even what you did on your rendezvous. He just hoped, whatever it was, that it didn’t require a lot of social interaction because he was truly spent for the day. He was relieved, thus, when you pulled into the parking lot for your apartment complex.

As the three of you stood at the door, you fiddling with the lock, Spencer turned to Garcia. “What exactly are we going to do tonight?”

Garcia’s lips quirked up in a smile and she looked at you. The lock was open but you hadn’t opened the door yet. Spencer shot you a questioning look and for a singular anxious second, his heart dropped to his stomach.

You, his best friend, the person he trusted most, noticed the flicker of worry in his eyes and gave him your most earnest smile. “Nothing to worry about. We just have a rule for these sleepovers.”

Reid’s fist uncurled. Rules. Yes, he liked those.

Garcia stepped in front of the door and turned to Reid. “You must solemnly swear to never tell anyone in the BAU what we will do tonight. If asked, you must make up a lie that is entirely too ordinary or entirely too extraordinary to be true. Do you agree?”

A hint of a smile flickered on your face and Spencer felt a wave of relief. “Yes, I do,” he nodded.

Garcia and you giggled a little. “Welcome, Dr. Spencer Reid, to the Island of Misfit Toys.”

Feeling brave and a little silly, Spencer sketched a bow and the trio entered the dark apartment. You flicked on the lights and the electric fireplace, and Garcia took the bags toward the bedroom. Spencer seized the moment to look around. The living room was tiny but cosy. The fireplace cast a warm glow on the cream sofas laden with pillows. A pile of books perched on the coffee table next to some candles. There were plants on the shelves and fairy lights on the walls, and Spencer could see a solitary tree outside the window, naked and swaying on that chilly winter’s night.

Unbidden, a thought rose in Spencer’s mind: I could get used to this.

“Isn’t this place just the cosiest?” Garcia said, leaning against the door jamb, suckling on a toffee. Spencer found himself nodding, the tightness in his chest easing.

You stepped out of the bedroom, cat ears on your head. “Shall we begin?”

“You guys still haven’t told me what we’re going to be doing? How crazy should I expect this all to get?”

Garcia and you exchanged a glance. “We don’t actually do anything crazy on these sleepovers. It’s just a night in to relax. We hope it’s not disappointing.” Spencer watched the excitement in your eyes and he was absolutely certain that the evening would not disappoint.

The evening started by pushing aside the coffee table and pulling all the blankets and pillows to the floor. You’d ordered dinner and boy oh boy, was it a feast. There were noodles and pizzas and pastries and a bowl full of candy. You’d lit some candles on the fireplace mantle and the room was a glowing beacon of comfort.

As you gorged yourselves on the food, you narrated childhood stories, Garcia told them about the latest online game she’d been obsessed with and, much to Spencer’s surprise, he spent a good 15 minutes talking about his latest reread of War & Peace, a book neither you nor Garcia had read or ever shown any interest in reading but you’d both listened all the same. It both left Spencer disoriented and made him feel seen.

He might have supposed that Garcia listened because you did, but a quick rifle through his memories revealed the startling truth that Garcia had never before interrupted his rambles either. Honestly, the two hung out alone so rarely he hadn’t noticed. He vowed then to visit Garcia in her ‘goblin hole’, as she called it, more often.

Once most of the boxes of food had been emptied, you all headed to the kitchen. Garcia was sufficiently familiar with the area and began commanding Spencer to pack up the remaining food and place it in the fridge. You busied yourself with washing the dishes and Garcia elected herself in charge of music.

Spencer had always preferred to listen to classical music but he had begun branching out his interests at your enthusiastic insistence. The music began to blare from the speakers, loud enough that he flinched at first. You noticed and it pleased him to no end when you subtly gestured to Garcia to reduce the volume.

While packing the boxes, Spencer lightly began to tap his foot in time with the music. He’d never been a dancer and the small rhythmic movement might have embarrassed him had Garcia’s voice not reached his ears. He watched with equal parts shock and amusement as Garcia began to belt out the lyrics, extremely offkey even to his untrained ears, and he could see you at the sink, dishes in hand, shaking your hips and nodding your head, mouthing the words. Garcia walked by Spencer, giving him a hip bump and then perched herself on the kitchen counter.

And there was something about that moment, with the candles and the fairy lights and the fireplace, with the cheery music and bawdy singing and joyful dancing, with the moon shining outside the window, illuminating the stacks of books strewn across the living room, with the cat ears on your head and the stars in your eyes, that reminded him of a quote from a book you had made him read called The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.

Spencer stood on the balcony, watching the solitary tree. You often said how you loved that the tree looked so scary on wintery nights and Spencer found himself agreeing. He heard footsteps behind him and turned to find the person themself stepping out onto the balcony. “Hi,” you whispered, shooting him a shy smile.

After the concert in the kitchen, you’d all retreated to the bedroom, which, Spencer was delighted to find, was where the bookshelf was. They’d watched a movie which was quite fun, but even more interesting was your and Garcia’s reactions. You squealed and chuckled, and were entirely too invested.

Garcia had then decided to turn in for the night. She’d gone to the bathroom to take off her makeup, and you’d stood beside her chatting while she used her makeup wipes. When Spencer had awkwardly shuffled to the door, you had placed the cat ears amid Spencer’s curls, and given him a smile that turned the tips of his ears pink.

He’d retreated to the bookshelves and after perusing through the titles, stepped out onto the balcony, where he was now joined by you. “Hi,” he breathed out.

“Garcia fell asleep,” you explained. You ran your hand along the dark wall and flicked on the lights. Spencer drew in a full breath as he watched the balcony light up with yet more fairy lights. Quite similar to the living room, the balcony also boasted a plush couch, pots of plants and stacks of books. “Did you have fun today?”

“I did.”

“Good. I’m glad.”

“I should probably tell you something.”

“Oh?” Your eyebrows headed skyward but a small smile played on your lips just the same.

“Emily and Derek put me up to this.” Spencer’s shoulders tightened in apprehension.

You chuckled. “I know.”

“You do?”

“Penny heard Derek and Emily cackling about their ‘evil plan’ in the file room.”

“Oh.” His cheeks warmed.

“You have a question,” You smiled at him.

“Why did you invite me? You guys refused Emily and Derek.”

You sighed. “Emily and Derek are extroverts,” you chose your words carefully, “and Penny and I thought that a quiet night in wouldn’t really be their style.” You looked over your shoulder into the apartment and then back at him. “And I just really need some quiet sometimes. Don’t get me wrong though,” your words rushed out, “I love them and I love hanging out with them. But sometimes, I need someone like you, someone to have a full moment with, someone who enjoys the finer things in life.”

Spencer was so pleased, he flushed a dark red, looking like a human about to transform into a tabby cat. “That’s - I like that.” You gave him another shy smile.

“Anywho,” You walked over to a stack of books at the foot of the couch and extracted a book, handing it out towards him, “I read this book last week and I thought it was amazing and that maybe you’d enjoy it.”

Spencer took the book from you, looking at the words scrawled across the cover - Truly Devious by Maureen Johnson - and flipped it open. His eyes fell on the dedication - “For anyone who has ever dreamed of finding a body in the library” - and felt a smile tug at his lips. “I look forward to discussing it with you.”

“As do I,” you said. “Now, what would you say to popcorn and Doctor Who?”

“I would say, that sounds like a wonderful idea.” He gave you a full grin.

The next day at work, you were walking back from the kitchenette with a full cup of coffee when you noticed Emily and Derek crowded around Spencer’s desk, no doubt a visit to extract secret information. You walked to your desk, set down your coffee and immersed yourself in your work, pretending not to eavesdrop.

“Spill it, pretty boy,” Derek was saying, ruffling Spencer’s already mussed hair.

The boy genius sighed. “We watched Doctor Who, okay?”

Emily and Derek looked at him in disbelief, then - “Fine, don’t tell us.” The two stormed off.

Spencer looked toward you, finding you smiling at him. He gave you a helpless shrug and you smiled wider. You turned toward the kitchenette and found Derek and Emily glaring at you two over their cups of coffee. Traitor, Derek mouthed and you dissolved into a fit of giggles.

xxxxx

Hope you enjoyed this! Comments and reblogs are much appreciated. :) - Nina

#criminal minds #bau #spencer reid #x reader #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds x reader #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #jj #derek morgan #penelope garcia #criminal minds fluff #spencer reid fluff #x reader fluff #spencer reid x reader fluff #criminal minds fanfic

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helloalycia · 3 years

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my happy ending [one] // kara danvers

summary: your crush from work decides to make a move, but she keeps putting off telling you something that you don't realise is actually really important

warning/s: none

author's note: i'm still working on a bunch of stuff but here's some old stuff to tide you over as i do. this is part one to a two-parter! enjoy :)

part two | masterlist

I sketched out some designs at my desk, ideas for some new Instagram and Twitter marketing CatCo we were planning to do. I was in charge of social media marketing at CatCo Worldwide, so things like this were routine at work. What wasn't routine was the cute blonde, Kara, AKA Cat Grant's assistant, approaching my desk with a chirpy smile on her lips.

"Hey, Y/N," she greeted, before setting down a coffee cup in front of me.

I smiled automatically, Kara's presence instantly affecting my mood in a positive way. I glanced at the cup and quirked an eyebrow.

"Hey, Kara. Is this for me?"

She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose adorably. "I was picking up Miss Grant's order and I remembered you said you loved the chocolate orange hot chocolates Noonan's do. So, I got you one."

I felt my cheeks heat up. "Oh, wow, er, thank you. You didn't have to do that."

She shrugged, and I was sure she looked as flustered as I felt. "No biggie."

I took a sip of the hot chocolate and smiled at how good it was, but mostly because of who got it me.

"So, what are you doing?" she asked, walking around my desk and sitting at the edge. She glanced at my sketches and added, "Is that the new fashion post for our social media accounts? They look amazing!"

"Just some sketches, but eventually they will be," I said, before nodding. "And thanks. I just need the photos so I know what I'm working with. Gotta ask the new guy, James... you met him yet?"

Kara nodded. "Yeah, I just bumped into him earlier."

"Can you believe he knows Superman?" I asked with disbelief. "How awesome is that?"

She smiled with amusement. "Extremely awesome."

"Keira!"

Kara lost her smile when Miss Grant called for her, before looking to me apologetically. "I should–"

"It's cool," I said, nodding for her to leave before Miss Grant tracked her down. "Thanks again for the drink."

Kara flashed me a smile. "Anytime. See you later."

I watched her walk away, waving as she glanced over her shoulder. I found myself biting my lip to contain my own smile, feeling butterflies in my stomach.

Kara Danvers, assistant to Cat Grant.

Ever since she began working here, I found myself crushing on the blonde and her cute mannerisms. We were friends, occasionally hanging out outside of work and doing things together. But that's all it was, sadly. I knew she was friends with Winn – best friends, I think – and I also knew that the tech guy was practically in love with her. I didn't know him as well as I knew her, but I knew enough to not want to get in between the two of them. So, Kara Danvers remained a silly little crush.

I got back to my sketches, managing to draft up some mock-ups on Photoshop before my day ended. I was more tired than I thought that evening, ending up falling asleep earlier than usual. Which meant that I missed the biggest news in National City yet – a mystery woman saving a plane from crashing, possibly a new superhero.

I woke up the next morning to a million and one calls and texts from colleagues at CatCo, all expecting me to get on social media to post about this mystery woman. By the time I got to work that morning, I was caught up with everything and in awe at this new superhero we had. It was pretty darn awesome!

The amazement I felt however was short lived, as Cat was all over me when I got to the office, claiming I should have been on top of our social media coverage as soon as it happened. Apparently me falling asleep wasn't a valid enough point to miss it, so I was put to work instantly, working with the photography and marketing department to find some sort of coverage on this mystery hero.

As I was lining up some posts with the limited images available of this hero, I felt a presence stop by my desk and saw it was Kara.

"Morning," she greeted, before glancing at my computer. "Oh, so you heard?"

I chuckled. "Kind of hard not to. It's everywhere." I nodded to the many TVs around the office that were playing reruns of the news coverage from last night.

"Pretty cool, right?" she asked, a smile tugging at her lips.

"Very, but it also means I now have a lot of work to do, especially because I fell asleep when all of this went down," I said, jokingly. "Cat has been all over me about this all morning."

Kara laughed and it was literally the best thing I'd heard all day.

"So, I was actually hoping I could tell you something," she said, an excited smile on her face as she met my eyes.

I felt a little flustered under her gaze and found myself distracting myself with my computer screen momentarily.

"I actually have a lot of things to do right now,” I said regretfully. “Maybe later?”

Her smile faded as she nodded. "Right, no, yeah, that's totally fine. Sorry."

"No, no, don't apologise," I said instantly, feeling a little bad. "I just– if I don't get this done, Cat will kill me."

"I got it, you do this, it's cool," she said reassuringly, offering me a small smile.

"Sorry," I tried, a little sad that there was nothing I could do. I really needed to get this done, despite wanting to spend some more time with Kara.

"It's fine, good luck," she said, giving me a grin and thumbs up before leaving.

I sighed, before getting back to work. Unfortunately, it was a few hours before I could get away from my desk, and I managed to track down Kara at her own desk, remembering she wanted to tell me something.

"Hey," I said, earning her attention.

She looked up from her notebook, smiling when she saw me. "Hey, you manage to get that content done?"

"Just about," I said, before offering a small smile. "Sorry again for blowing you off."

She waved her hand dismissively. "It's fine, honestly."

"I'm free now though," I said optimistically. "Maybe we could grab an early lunch? You can talk to me then?"

Kara pushed a strand of hair behind her ear as she nodded slowly. "That sounds nice actually, yeah."

I felt a little relieved when she agreed. "Great. Well, I'll let you get your things and meet you by the elevator?"

She pursed her lips, suppressing a smile. "You got it."

We ended up getting lunch, as agreed, and it was nice to make it up to her. Though, I never really noticed that she never ended up telling me whatever it was that she wanted to tell me. I was so distracted by how smoothly our lunch was going that I forgot to ask her about it. Maybe if I'd asked, she might have told me the truth. Or she might have made something up and lied. I guess I would never know.

–

Did somebody say tiny umbrella drinks? #gottalovethetinyumbrellas #CatCoFoundation [image here]

I sent yet another tweet and picture out from CatCo's Twitter account, watching as it instantly got responses from everyone. I was at an event that Cat was throwing for all CatCo employees plus special guests. It was an event to raise money for Cat's foundation – a charity for children's hospitals in National City. My job was to live-tweet the heck out of the event, hoping to boost donations online.

It was a formal event, so I was comfortably dressed in some high-waisted pants and a silk blouse, it being my best attempt at 'formal' clothes.

The event wasn't too bad. There was free food and drinks, plus I got to hang out with some of my friends from work whilst doing the bare minimum. I just wasn't an evening person, I guess.

"Hey, stranger," a voice startled me, and I turned around, surprised to see Kara Danvers stood there.

I hadn't seen much of Kara in the past few months, despite working with her. She always seemed to be caught up with Winn, and she'd gotten quite close with the not-so-new guy, James Olsen. I wasn't stalking her or anything, but I began to notice when I would try to make plans with her like we used to – little things like grabbing coffee or going to watch a film after work – and she would decline or have plans already. Then I'd see her constantly being surrounded by Winn and James, so I figured she'd just made new friends.

"Kara," I breathed out, smiling as I took in her appearance. "Hey."

I hadn't seen her at all this evening and I was sure she just showed up because I definitely would have noticed how good she looked in that fitted red dress of hers.

"You look really nice," she said, looking me up and down before meeting my eyes.

"Thanks," I said, hoping my cheeks didn't look as warm as they felt. "So do you. You liking the event?"

Kara looked around, nodding. "It's beautiful."

"You did a good job," I said, giving her a knowing smile. "I know you planned it."

"This was all Cat, I just–"

"Kara, everybody knows you plan the events around here," I told her with a chuckle. "It's okay."

She smiled to herself, looking down. "Right." It went quiet for a moment before she looked up and said, "Do you want to dance?"

I was a little taken aback by her confidence, but nonetheless, I found myself nodding. She smiled as she held out her hand. I took it, feeling goosebumps from how soft her hands were.

She led me to the dance-floor, stopping and resting a hand on my waist, the other holding my hand. I nervously rested an arm on her shoulder as I focused on swaying to the music playing rather than stepping on her toes.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in a while," she said after a moment. I looked up and saw her blue eyes staring right through me.

"Well, we've both been busy," I attempted to give a reason.

She shook her head, smiling apologetically. "No, it's not that... it's my fault. I've been hanging out with James and Winn so much lately that I've been neglecting you."

I laughed a little awkwardly. "Kara, it's okay. You don't need to feel bad for having other friends. I mean, you don't have any obligations to me. They're your best friends. Of course you're gonna hang out with them."

She pursed her lips and I admittedly felt nervous as she stared at me, her expression unreadable. She was a little taller than me which didn't help with me trying to keep my emotions in check. She was extremely close to me as we swayed to the music and I could just about focus on it as she continued to stare at me.

"What if I want to have obligations to you?" she asked, and I almost thought she was joking until I realised that she wasn't.

I wanted to understand what she meant, but I didn't get to ask because she leaned forward and closed the gap between us with her lips. I was surprised at her boldness, pinning Kara for the shy type. Nonetheless, I returned the kiss, melting into her embrace and warmth.

We pulled apart soon enough, myself a little flustered from the kiss. My lips were still tingling as she met my eyes, a small smile tugging at her lips.

"I hope that was okay," she muttered.

I nodded slowly, still surprised. "Yeah, it was."

My stomach was doing somersaults as I mirrored her smile; the gala was merely a blur in the background as I realised Kara Danvers had just kissed me. I definitely wouldn't have thought she felt something for me other than friendship.

"I'm assuming you want this to go somewhere," I said, a little stupidly.

She laughed melodiously as she nodded, intertwining her fingers in mine. "That's the plan, yes. But actually, er..."

"Second thoughts already?" I joked, though inside I was genuinely believing she might be second-guessing her decision, judging from her sudden change of facial expression.

"No, no," she said, shaking her head. "It's just, I feel like we should talk first. I have to tell you something. Before this goes any further."

She sounded quite affected by whatever it was, so I nodded, losing my smile for a moment.

"Of course, you can tell me whatever you need to," I reassured her, giving her hand a little squeeze. "Do you want to talk now or after?"

She opened her mouth to reply, but tilted her head to the side as she grew distracted. I waited patiently, expecting her to snap back into reality, but she seemed caught up with something else.

"Kara? You okay?" I asked, growing a little concerned.

"What? Yeah, sorry," she said, shaking her head before meeting my eyes with apologetic ones. "I'm sorry, I have to go for a minute. I just realised I have to check on the desserts for the party."

"Oh, okay." I nodded, giving her a small smile. "You can tell me whatever it is afterwards then?"

She smiled, nodding. "Yeah. I'll be back after, I swear."

I believed her and watched as she let go of my hand, already in a rush to leave. I wondered what was so time-sensitive about desserts, but decided not to question it as I realised the very obvious and surprising fact that Kara liked me.

As she turned to leave, she quickly turned back to me and moved forward, pressing a haste kiss to my cheek. My face heated up as she flashed me a beautiful smile, before moving to leave.

Just danced with the most beautiful girl in the room #CatCoFoundation

I looked up and saw Kara by the door, about to leave, but she stopped when her phone vibrated. After glancing at the screen, she paused and a wide smile graced her lips. Her eyes lifted and she gave me a knowing look before disappearing. I found myself smiling like an idiot the rest of the night.

I guess I should have realised, once again, that Kara never ended up telling me whatever it was that she wanted to tell me. I was so caught up in the fact that she returned my feelings that I never remembered to ask her what it was that she wanted to say. Maybe if I'd remembered, things would have ended up a little differently.

–

Kara and I went on some dates, our relationship blossoming naturally. It was the best thing to happen to me at the time – finding someone who I thought truly understood me, and vice versa. We had inside jokes, an 'our song', a favourite restaurant we frequented; we were happy and it was amazing. I was really falling for her. I thought she was perfect. Nothing could change that, I thought. She was everything I wanted.

"What are you thinking about in that pretty little head of yours?" Kara asked, tilting her head to look at me.

It was moments like this when I was in awe of her beauty, inside and out. She was comfortable, with her hair tied in a loose ponytail and her face makeup-free. Her glasses were balanced on her nose as she stared at me with an easygoing smile and sparkling eyes. I felt a sudden overwhelming flood of love for her as she waited for me to reply.

"I'm in love with you," I blurted out uncontrollably.

She raised her eyebrows slightly, mouth agape as she realised what I said.

"I'm sorry," I said, shaking my head. "That was random. And weird. Too soon, right? I freaked you out. I'm sorry."

Kara blinked several times, straightening up as she shook her head. "No, it's not, it's..." I watched her with anticipation, as she found her words. "It's fine. It's... I feel the same way."

It was my turn to be surprised now. I raised my eyebrows, a smile forming on my lips. "You do?"

Kara pursed her lips, eyes flickering up to meet mine. "Yeah."

I breathed out. "I'm really happy to hear that, especially because I thought I freaked you out, but like, I feel like something is bothering you, Kara."

Resting a hand on hers, I squeezed it gently. She offered me a small, troubled smile and I wondered what was occupying her thoughts.

"I trust you," she said gently. "I do. I love you. And I... I want you to know that I think what we have is amazing. I've never been happier."

"This sounds like a breakup," I joked, chuckling nervously. She wouldn't break up with me right after saying 'I love you', right?

"No, no, it's not!" she reassured immediately, taking any doubt from my mind. She leaned forward and cupped my cheek gently. "I'm not breaking up with you, silly."

"Good to know," I said playfully, resting my hand on hers and moving it to my lips, kissing it softly. "What is it though? What's on your mind? You can tell me anything you know."

She nodded. "I know... I can. I will. Now."

I stayed quiet, watching as she had some inner conflict going on. What was bothering her so much?

"I want to say that I–"

But she was cut off by her phone ringing. She rolled her eyes and I offered her an approving smile as she reached to answer it.

"Alex, hey, what's up?"

I sat back, keeping ahold of Kara's hand as she listened to Alex on the phone.

"Are you sure?" Kara said, concern in her voice.

I wondered what was going on, as the blonde was scrunching her brows together with worry. Her hand slipped from mine as she stood up, pacing.

"Okay, I'll be there now," she finished, before hanging up.

"Hey, that sounded serious, is everything okay?" I asked, standing up, too.

Kara nodded, already in the process of grabbing her things. "Yeah, sorry, it's just some family stuff with Alex. I should get going and help her out." She stopped moving and turned to face me, a distracted frown on her face. "I'm sorry. I know we were supposed to spend the evening together and I wanted to tell you something, but–"

"It's fine, Kara, you can just tell me another time," I cut her off, moving forward and rubbing her arm gently. "I hope everything is okay with Alex. I'll just see you at work tomorrow, yeah?"

Kara smiled tightly, nodding. "You're too understanding. It's annoyingly admirable."

I chuckled, stepping forward and pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. She had a few inches on me, so I had to step on my tip toes to reach, but seeing the little smile appear on her lips when I did made it worth it.

"Don't get stressed about whatever it is you wanna tell me," I added, meeting her eyes. "I'm sure it'll be fine. I love you and I'm really lucky to have you in my life. I don't think anything will ruin that. Just... remember that, okay?"

Kara nodded, her eyes flickering to the floor. "Thank you, Y/N."

"I'll leave you to it," I said, moving away to grab my coat and put on my shoes. "Good luck with whatever is up, and see you tomorrow."

As I was about to leave, her voice called out, "I love you, too."

I smiled widely at her before leaving, feeling lightweight because of all the love that was bubbling around inside of me. Once again, Kara managed to distract me from the fact that she had something big to tell me, as when I followed up the next day, she assured me that she just wanted me to know that she sometimes moved too fast in relationships and she didn't want me to feel like I was being rushed.

I believed her, blinded by what I thought was my happy ending, and that was that.

#kara danvers x you #kara danvers #kara danvers x reader #kara danvers imagine #supergirl #supergirl imagine #supergirl x reader #melissa benoist

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marshmallow-phd · 3 years

Text

Gravity

Genre: Angst, Unrequited Love

Pairing: Junmyeon x Reader

A/N: This was basically just a therapy write.

What is worth? It is neither tangible nor seeable. It doesn’t have a body or a shell. Yet, the endless chase to catch it, to hold it captive, is a never ending disease that eats away at the brain and tears apart the heart. It’s only descriptor is feeling. A judgement. Something either is or isn’t. When it's an object in question, the call for worth is passive, innocent. It’s wanted or it's not. The deterioration comes into play when the worth is applied to a person.

Kim Junmyeon was worth the world.

With a smile that could chase away a storm and a heart too good and pure for the human populace, he was truly worth more than the world. He was worth more than you deserved.

Not only was his face kind, but it was handsome. Beautiful, even. Candid photos were museum worthy masterpieces. There was a gentleness, a softness to his eyes and cheeks that contradicted the sharpness of his jaw and the strength of his body. His laugh was infectious and his mind as vast and deep as the ocean. The sum of his whole was worth so much.

But you were not worthy of such a person. You weren’t as stunning as a sunset over the mountains or as extraordinary as a new discovery. You were simply… you. Staring from afar, admiring but never touching.

You wished you could be worthy. You wished you could be special enough - good enough to be with him. Pretty enough would be something decent to settle for. But you were invisible. A person on the sidelines. Out of the spotlight. You were an admirer - not one to be admired.

“You’re doing it again.”

You blinked, your attention torn away from the spot where Junmyeon was standing, laughing and chatting with a few of his seniors. Kyungsoo, who sat to your left at the small table in the entertainment building’s cafe, didn’t even look up from the script he was currently reviewing. He’d only been given it the day before and was still considering if he wanted the part that was being offered to him.

Your gaze dropped to the opened yet untouched notebook lying in front of you on the somewhat sticky surface. Someone must have spilled their syprup-y coffee and didn’t do the best job at cleaning it up. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Without moving his head, Kyungsoo looked at you over the rim of his glasses. Even though you were sure you were nothing more than a blur to his eyes at the moment, he could always see right through you. “If you keep staring at him like that, you’re going to give yourself away.”

The ultimate nightmare. The humiliation of being found out. The sweet but awkward rejection that you knew would follow. With his laugh still ringing in your ears, you forced yourself to tune Junmyeon out.

Pushing his glasses up his nose with his middle finger, Kyungsoo straightened and closed the script. “We can go somewhere else, if that would help.”

You wanted to argue no. That you weren’t a coward. That you weren’t going to run and hide simply because you looked at him like he was the night sky while you were stuck on the ground. You used to have better control of yourself. You used to be able to hide it better. But lately, it had only gotten worse.

And you were a coward.

“Yeah. Maybe one of the practice rooms is empty.”

“There’s usually one.”

After gathering up your things, you followed Kyungsoo out of the cafe, stealing a final glance. Junmyeon didn’t so much as twitch in your direction. It wouldn’t have been surprising if he hadn’t even realized that you were there in the cafe for the past half hour.

Kyungsoo settled into one corner of the worn navy blue couch while you squeezed into the other. Not speaking a word, he went back to reading the script. That was a nicety of your friendship. Comfortable silence was more than readily available when needed. He didn’t push or give unasked for advice. He was an ear to listen and a presence to take in when you didn’t want to be alone.

You stared down at the notebook in your lap where your next story ideas were supposed to be filling the pages. But nothing was coming out. Not even the vague pictures you’d had earlier this morning. The only things being called to the paper were the sentences held in the invisible tears you refused to shed. Words of wishes and frustrations swirled around inside the tiny droplets, every letter as heavy as lead. Your cruel mind kept echoing at you the conversation that had constricted the air in your lungs.

Two days ago, you’d accidentally overheard a drama staff worker jokingly say that Junmyeon and his current co-star seemed awfully close, more than merely friends. Stomach lurching, you ran to the nearest bathroom. Nothing came out but almost fifteen minutes of deliberate breathing had gone by before you emerged again. Kyungsoo was quick to dismiss the comment after barely three words from you. The effect, however, still lingered.

Despite the history of your intrusive thoughts, you wanted to believe that you could be good enough. That you were worthy of being beside someone like Junmyeon. His co-costar was stunning, even in real life. Someone who didn’t need photoshop to draw out gasps of awe and astonishment. Someone you most certainly couldn’t compete with in any race.

You weren’t asking for much. Just to be able to hold his hand, your fingers interlaced between his own. The fantasy you allowed yourself to indulge in at times wasn’t a grand gesture or a modern fairytale. You wanted simplicity. The smaller moments that could mean so much. Mundane, to some eyes.

Warm sun rays leaked through the closed blinds over the living room windows. A clock on the wall ticked away the meaningless minutes. Sometimes soft music hummed in the background, sometimes there was nothing but silence. Junmyeon would lay across the length of the couch with you wrapped around his side. His fingers would absentmindedly caress your shoulder or arm. In his other hand was a book, held open by his thumb and pinky. Your own hand drifted through his hair while he read aloud.

The two of you had dozens of endless conversations about books. About the ones you loved and the ones you hated. About deeper meanings and the reflections of life. His love of literature - from the celebrated classics to the obscure unknown - had been what initially drew you in. Everything else was what made you stay.

A muscle in your hand cramped. The peaceful scene faded from your eyes. The page was now filled with barely legible, ink-smeared words. You’d written the entire scenario out, along with your heart, without even realizing it.

In a panic, you ripped the paper from its spiral hold, crumpled it up, and tossed it to the trash can across the room. It missed.

“I doubt whatever you wrote was that bad,” Kyungsoo murmured. He read the final few lines of the script and closed it.

“It wasn’t,” you admitted bitterly. “But I shouldn’t have written it.” You described the scene to him while your eyes stayed trained on the loose thread twirling between your fingers.

He sighed. “You’re never going to tell him, are you?”

“I can’t.”

“You can. You’re just stopping yourself.”

You scoffed. “Why would I deliberately set myself up like that? Break me the rest of the way?”

Kyungsoo stared at you, long and hard, his expression blank to those who couldn’t read the tell-tale signs that his thoughts were in overdrive. “You’re really hurting, aren’t you?”

You sniffed, though no tears were yet forcing their way to the surface. “Most days.”

“Then walk away.”

“I can’t.” Your voice broke - just like your heart. The world blurred when you shook your head. “I can’t… simplify it. But-- It’s like I was this stupid lump of rock drifting aimlessly through space, content with my life. Then suddenly, I came across this brilliant star that shined so brightly and… we collided. And now I’m stuck in his orbit. But he just keeps on spinning while my whole world had changed completely. He’s… my gravity. I don’t know anything else anymore.”

“Maybe it’s time to find your own orbit.”

Afraid it might crack again, your voice was barely a whisper. “I don’t know how.”

The door creaked open and your heart leapt. Junmyeon stuck his head inside. Had he overheard everything?

“There you are! I turned away for a second and suddenly you two weren’t in the cafe anymore.”

He’d… He’d seen you? In the cafe?

“It was too loud,” Kyungsoo lied, covering up for you like he always did.

“It’s always too loud for you,” Junmyeon teased. Then his face morphed into that leader-esque expression. “We need to head to rehearsal. You’re welcome to join us,” he nodded to you.

“No, that’s okay,” you said quickly in response. “I have a writer’s meeting.” No, you didn’t, but space felt like the right choice at the moment. You tried not to focus on the lack of disappointment coming from the direction of the door.

“Maybe next time.” Junmyeon slapped the side of the door. “Let’s go, Soo.”

You were actually the first one on your feet, muttering goodbyes to both of them and then walking down the hall perhaps a little too fast.

You didn’t allow your mind to think the whole way home. Every action was done in automatic mode. Only the minimal amount of awareness was used. But when the apartment door clicked behind you, when the near darkness wrapped you up, when the silence crept in and the empty couch mocked you… you broke.

Knees buckling from under you, the cold hard floor came closer and you didn’t leave that spot just inside the room as the tears and sobs crashed out in waves.

This was what you hated the most. The breakdowns that came with no excuse. They were built up by your own mind, by your intrusive thoughts. You tortured yourself with what you could never have. The attacks were random and it was only recently that you had learned to hold them in long enough until you were safe within your own walls. One time, you hadn’t made it. Kyungsoo had been there to pat your shoulder.

Kyungsoo. He was right.

That clarity was coming through as the tears dried and your breathing evened out again. You needed space. You needed to separate yourself from what wasn’t good for you and not see him. Not even have the temptation to.

This was going to hurt like hell.

The office somehow looked smaller with the bare walls. Since the day you moved in, you tried to liven it up, give it character, make it reflect the interests you loved. How were you supposed to write if this place felt like a stifling corporate desert, dry of any creativity?

Not that you ever actually wrote in this twelve by eight space. This place had been reserved for meetings and other usually boring necessities. You didn’t know the next time a budget meeting or an email check would be conducted here. You could be back in a few months and move back in as if you never left. Or someone else could take over. Only time would tell.

The box that currently had your attention was nearly full. You’d have to come back for the rest. There wasn’t much left, anyway. You took another look around to see if there was anything else you could do at the moment. The monitors were black, the tower underneath - so much smaller than the one you’d had as a kid - was powered off, and the chair that was aligned just so to your favored adjustments was pushed into the gray desk. Saying goodbye to this place really did hurt.

But you needed to do this.

And yet, you felt like you were drowning, being dragged deeper into the black water. Your lungs were screaming for relief.

“You’re really leaving?”

Your shoulders stiffened. At first, you didn’t look up at him. You weren’t sure what to say to him. Being here… it was the last place you expected him to be today. Kyungsoo would have told him, but you wouldn’t have waited around for him to appear.

“Hi, Junmyeon.” You folded up the top of the box, overlapping the pieces so it would stay shut in transport.

“I thought you liked it here?”

“I love it,” you confessed. “But I- I need to go home for a little while.”

“Are you homesick?”

“Something like that.” Definitely some version of sick.

He nodded. “Will you be gone long?” His eyes drifted over the holes in the walls leftover from the frames that used to hang in front of them.

“I don’t know.” You shifted your weight from one foot to the other. This was…. You should go. Pushing your fingers under the box, you started to lift it to take it home.

“Do you have to go?”

The question stalled you. Confused, the box went back down on the desk. “Why are you here, Junmyeon?”

He shrugged, though it didn’t shake off the stiffness in his shoulders. His hands were stuffed in his pockets, his arms all the way to his wrists covered up by the sleeves of his shirt. Lately he had been rolling them up. You wondered what had changed today. “You’re our friend.”

Friend.

Friend. Friend. Friend.

The word rang over and over like a declaration of war. Our friend.

The smart thing to do would have been to nod, say goodbye, and leave. But - instead - you opened your mouth.

“I will always be your friend.”

That didn't make him smile like you would have thought. “So, then why do you have to leave?”

You rubbed your eyebrow, fighting within yourself. You lost.

“Have you ever had a friend so head over heels for someone that won’t even look at them twice? But they don’t care? Because as long as the person they’re looking at is happy, then they’re happy. Even if your friend is completely miserable in the process. Because they no longer care about their own self. They just keep looking at the other person, doing anything that entails that they’re still happy.” You swallowed thickly to try and keep your voice steady. By your sides, your hands were trembling at this roundabout confession. “And you want to shake them. You want to tell them to get out. Because as long as they stick around, they won’t look at one else. No one else exists. Well, this is me. Getting out.”

The frown on Junmyeon’s face deepened as he let your words sink in. “Who is it? Will you tell me?”

No. Because this was enough of an admittance. Because it was time to find your own sense of gravity.

So, without a word, you picked up the box and left the office.

Waiting for you when you came back was the scene you had written in the practice room that day, flattened out but still wrinkled as it laid on the desk.

#exo #kim junmyeon x reader #kim junmyeon #kim joonmyeon #suho #suho x reader #exo oneshot #exo drabble #exo angst #exo unrequited love #kpop

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artvinyl · 2 years

Text

Uncovered: ‘Fever Dreams’ by Villagers

Written over the course of two years, Villagers’ fifth studio album Fever Dreams album cover was created by Brighton artist Paul Phillips. We were lucky enough to have a chat with Paul to get an insight into his inspirations and creative process for the cover art and accompanying alternative three record cover artworks.

Villagers’ Singer/songwriter Conor O’Brien explains, “I sent [Phillips] about half the album I think, we discussed the themes and I told him I wanted something that reflected some idea of scale, especially in that song ‘Song In Seven’, where it’s talking about lying in the sea looking up at the universe, and thinking about the intellectual curiosity that that might inspire. Then he returned with that bear image and it blew me away instantly, because it connects with the Ursa Major constellation that is mentioned in one of the songs. Then he went and did the other three covers with the constellation idea and how we can put patterns onto our lives.”

Paul Philips told us, “I was incredibly excited to be approached by Conor's team, I think it was Bart from Domino Records who made initial contact after Conor's management had seen my work and suggested me. Initially Conor sent me a few tracks and the album title which was 'The More I Know the More I Care' at the time which is a sort of totem that runs through the album if you listen carefully. Initially I came up with three sketches based on this a young child reading a book sat on a table in a library that’s filling up with water, a giant boy’s head poking out the sea with waves crashing against it, I forget that third idea but after some consideration Conor's team came back and said he had changed his mind with regards to the album title and it would now be called 'Fever Dreams' and asked if I could come up with some more ideas.”

Phillips continues, “The strongest idea that came from the new batch and the one Conor seemed to like the most was the Bear by the swimming pool, He liked the way it fitted with the theme of Ursa Major on the record which was serendipity as I had not made that connection myself. I had the idea through my love of playing with scale, I like themes of beguilement and being overwhelmed as I've struggled over the years with my own mental health and the subjects of anxiety and being overwhelmed are prevalent in my work.”

“Conor had mentioned he wanted the cover art to convey a mix of serenity juxtaposed with a feeling of threat. I started my usual creative process which is to repeated the concept in my head whilst looking at pictures, I will look through books and images online, not art but photos, travel blogs, nature blogs, typing random words into the search bar on Flickr and seeing what interesting images the world throws out at me, I then try to make mental connections between the image I see and the concept I'm repeating in my head, when I find an image where the connection works I save the image as a reminder, I collect a few images then I go back to them and play with them in photoshop, playing with scale and adding things that also connect with the themes until I find a composition that makes me feel good, I use this rough photoshop composition as a basis for the illustration. I felt a giant sleeping bear was perfect for this concept, I added the man and the doe to hammer home the scale of the Bear and then the yellow dots are the dreams themselves, I liked the idea of all three being asleep as if the image is a dream itself but its open to interpretation as to which one is the one dreaming it, is it the bear dreaming of a man and the doe or is it the man dreaming of the doe and the bear etc, I liked the playful nature of this idea and felt it was a complete piece of work as it connect with the themes on the album in many ways, which is always a goal I have in mind when creating artwork, I want it to connect and represent more than anything else.”

“After having completed the initial artwork and sending it off to Conor he came back with a lovely enthusiastic e-mail and wondered if I would do three more covers so we could make it a big project and have die-cut interchangeable sleeves, obviously I jumped at the chance as it was a bit of a dream job as a designer, Conor specified he wanted one of the images to be an Eagle in mid-air with someone on, I forget what this was inspired by but I thought maybe every image should be a scenario with an image that contains a fever dream of animals that are represented by constellations so I did some research and chose the Elk, and the Snake to go with the Eagle and Bear.”

“Then it was just a case of getting down to it and drawing them. It was a big project and some late nights were needed but I thoroughly enjoyed every second of it and have enjoyed a working relationship with Conor and his management on a few things since, they have been a pleasure to work with and Conor is a great client in that he knows what he wants but also gives you the space to find it on your own rather than trying to control every aspect, I guess the process almost became symbiotic which is great because it allows you both to get excited about the project which is a nice feeling.”

Fever Dreams by Villagers on Domino Records is nominated for Best Art Vinyl 2021 Artwork by Paul Phillips at True Spilt Milk Designs. Design by Matthew Cooper, assisted by Paul J Street.

#BestArtVinyl2021

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