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inkskinned · 3 months

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you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

#spilled ink #warm up #can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically #i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason #it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism.#and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out #we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you.#this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism #where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off.#your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell #at the industry - you are probably not listening .#anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit #but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance #> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally #> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field #> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :)#(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice #i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what.#cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men.#so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT.#instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them.#which btw. is like. actual feminism.)

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bitwein · 16 days

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I WANT TO FLY INTO YOUR HEART!

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ask-spiderpool · 5 months

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#nice #mod speaks #please share your creations!! it warms a sci's heart to see you all getting creative...

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deerspherestudios · 27 days

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Can we get a picture of Alma?💕 I love them so much��💜💜

They do their best to be the ultimate all-nighter study buddy when you need it!!👻❤️

#lift your spirits vn #alma ask #doodles #alma jumpscare!!#ignore the fact they can physically hold the coins #they're just possessing the coins one by one and making them float TRUST #you take them and they're cold as ice but the gesture warms ur heart so its ok <3

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kimtaegis · 5 days

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may you find happiness there, may all your hopes all turn out right! ↳ for @magicshop 🌸

cr. dwellingsouls, atoz v; insp.

#btsgif #btsgfx #btsedit #gfx #usergif #bts #bangtan #namtaegi #usersky #userkelli #trackofthesoul #userzaynab #userines #usersan #underbetelgeuse #*yg #*nj #*th #*gifs #*gfx #andi I'm soooo sorry this is so late 😭#really just had zero time I hate it here #but here we go!!! your favourites are bringing you a little spring magic <3 #(HAD to use 'magic' in this somewhere hehe)#I used every little scrap of this unit photoshoot there was noooot much unfortunately :( hence the little ot7 appearance :)#most of the text are lyrics from ben howard's 'keep your head up'#this song reminds of a beloved friendship from my youth and just warms my heart so much #it's perfect for this time of the year and gives me this fondness that I also feel when I think of you #I hope you spent your birthday surrounded by happiness and love #and that this new year of your life will be filled with hope and positivity

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aether-weather · 3 months

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manifesting summer rn (it's 18 degrees)

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kuroosdarling · 9 months

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nanami’s larger hand finds yours, fingers interweaving together in an attempt to fill the unforgiving gap between your two bodies. there was something so secure in being connected this way. something innocent and commonly overlooked, but intimate nonetheless.

his thumb starts to softly brush against your skin in his hold, the simple gesture sending welcomed chills down your spine. reassuring and sweet, just another way for him to quietly show his undying affection for you.

but your favorite was when he’d squeeze your hand. he’d always do it while his attention was seemingly somewhere else, but those three little squeezes told you it was always on you.

i. squeeze. love. squeeze. you. squeeze.

and then he’d wait.

at first, you didn’t understand what it meant. didn’t know it was a silent, yet powerful declaration of love. one for you and you alone. but eventually, you caught on. and so you always send those 3 words right back at him, closely watching his face as a small smile spreads across it.

i. squeeze. love. squeeze. you. squeeze

#sometimes he’s at a loss on how to express his love #but simple gestures like these are just so him that your heart can’t help but warm every time he does it #dreamy sigh ….#missing nanami hours #nanami x reader #jjk x reader #nanami kento x reader #jujustsu kaisen x reader

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sunnibits · 2 years

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I love being kind to strangers on the internet I love doing nice things for people I love leaving excited tags on artwork I love being that one person you can rely on to add some happiness to your day I love making people smile

#I rlly try to be a good person I rlly do I wanna live up to my name I wanna be warm and kind and funny and joyful #it makes my heart feel all nice and fuzzy #I know I’m not perfect but I do my best #and I really don’t think it takes that much effort to put forth your nicest self especially on the internet #I’m a bit better at it on my cozier sideblog but :| still :)

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novelconcepts · 1 year

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Something about Dani and Jamie, Bill and Frank, love stories cultivated in the heart of horror. Something about finding queer love, gay love, human and fallible and worth cupping hands around and protecting even in the darkest of times. Something about stumbling into your person when you least expect them, when your mind is fixed firmly on pain and survival, and letting their light open you up. Something about choosing to wake up every day and cherish this person, even when it’s hard, even when they’re being broken down right before your eyes. Something about saying “I am marrying you, not in the eyes of others, but in our hearts where it matters—legality be damned”.

Something about gay love being worth all the strawberries, all the moonflowers, all the persistence and the endings chosen on your own terms. Something about that hits me where it counts.

#the last of us #the last of us hbo #the last of us spoilers #the haunting of bly manor #dani x jamie #bill x frank #I’m out here having Feelings today lads #the soft warm heart at the center of a horrific story #all that tragedy. all that loss. all those things that should harden us—and these stories choose to give us kindness instead #right down to the parallel of protecting your person as best you can from things you can’t touch with your hands #it’s a kick in the teeth. I love. I love. I love.

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arctixout · 3 months

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inseparable

#joker out #kris guštin #i love them your honor #five besties my beloved #this warms my heart so much you don't even know #*my gifs

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vlasdygoth · 4 months

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lean on me

#mgs #ocelhira #id in alt text #local man who has had one (1) crush in his entire life develops another one what happens next will warm your heart #actually i think the anxiety spiral is mildly out of character but i am ~projecting~#and lbr ocelot is not capable of being normal about his emotions. when he has them.

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lynxgriffin · 1 year

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Eldritchrune Doodles!

Okay, decided to go ahead and post the results from the art stream today! Just a bunch of Eldritchrune stuff I was having fun with, some of them based on asks, which I included!

Eldritch Berdly's primary means of torment is a continuous sonic voice attack where he screams his opinions on Minecraft and Fortnite nonstop

Also, some cool glowy accent feathers, just because.

I really wanted to go ahead and do Eldritch Catti and Jockington too, since I'm pretty certain they'll be in some future Dark World anyway. Here they are combined into one horrible occult-based chimera, where they can unleash all manner of dark spells! (Their favorite is the one where people get pelted by deadly soccer balls)

Hey, she needs plenty of calcium to keep those teeth strong and sharp! Meanwhile, Kris is fine with a questionable chocolate bar.

Went ahead and just did Spamton Neo since I wasn't sure what sort of direction to go with Jevil. Taming the secret bosses seems like it'd be a much more difficult task...if it was even possible!