can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
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races and naps
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i had a vision
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had a vision,,, angler fish gem ^_^
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im gon keep yapping about the sound design for the magnus protocol because its driving me insane
the difference between the two podcasts is so drastic its FRIGHTENING
The Magnus Archives intro/outro: high-pitched, screeching, eerie, dies off with what sounds like a stone tumbling into the depths and lights turning on/off, water, sounds like the darkness of a cave that you must descend into even though you're terrified, but you do it anyway
The Magnus Protocol intro/outro: LOUD, deep, bone-chilling/shaking, foreboding, it sounds like darkness in a different way, like the great throat of some unknown beast that is hundreds of times larger and older than us and will swallow us whole; it's fear that hunts us, instead of us hunting it
-
also, side note/addition because i realized i forgot to add WHY it freaked me out
long story short, i was around 50% deaf in my right ear until I was 12 years old (reconstructive surgery truly is something I am so grateful for) and now I'm back to a fairly normal hearing range.
The problem?
I can't hear low tones as easily.
the magnus protocol is heavily reliant on lower tones, so what I hear is likely not how most people hear it, but for me it sputters, almost, parts of it are kind of missing, and I know I'm not hearing it right, which freaks me the fuck out.
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He didn't know how far he had wandered. He had just kept running and running, for once glad of his newfound body's constitution. But now he was finally tired and he doubted his pursuers were close by (if they were even looking for him anymore). So for now, he found an abandoned warehouse, bundled up under a tarp, and rested.
----
Wally had been scouting the area for the enemy when he found the boy. He'd noticed a particularly weird shaped clump in the corner and when he removed the tarp, he found a body. At first he thought the body was dead since he had no pulse and was cold to the touch. But then the boy suddenly sat up causing Wally to have to back up (he did not yelp from the sudden movement thank you very much).
The boy backed up towards the warehouse wall and pulled his knees to his chest as he studied Wally. For his part, Wally studies the boy back. He was clad in a black suit with golden accents and more knives that Wally was comfortable with. His golden avian eyes seemed to bore into the young hero. They seemed to size Wally up as opposed to being full of fear. Additionally, despite being huddled away in hiding the boy displayed no signs of fear. Overall it felt less like he was cowering away and more like he was silently judging him. Wally really didn't like how it felt like this kid would slit his throat if given the chance.
As the two continued their staring contest, Wally felt a gust of wind and Barry was suddenly by his side. "Kid Flash, what's up? You weren't answering your co-" Barry trailed off as he noticed the boy.
He side glanced at Wally but the sidekick only shrugged back. Barry stepped forward. The boy tensed, muscles suddenly tight and body ready to spring. Barry quickly put his hands up.
"We don't want to hurt you," He said. "Quite the opposite actually. We're heroes, we can help."
The body blinked long and slow at him, before finally his body seemed to uncoil. He gracefully got to his feet and neared the pair, circling around them once before stopping in front of them with a soft smile.
Wally returned it with a smile of his own. "So uh- why are you here? Is someone chasing you or something? Wait, what's your name first?"
The boy's face crumpled into something sad before he pulled down the collar of his suit to reveal a scar running across his throat. Oh. Both heroes side glanced each other at the same time, a silent communication shared between them. The bats? The bats.
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love how every phone call with my dad is like negotiating a peace treaty between two warring nations
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Hot Take
Heros of Olympus would be so much better if everybody was single.
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she says he won't let her get a dog, which is fine, because they're in an apartment, and that's the kind of thing people say about their partners. he won't let me get a dog. and you're at a dinner party and you tilt your head a little to the side just like that dog he won't let her get, because is this the thing that's going to upset you? you don't know every corner of their relationship, she could be joking, they could have had so many healthy conversations about the dog, right, and maybe she's not letting herself get the dog because of money and time and whatever. but, like, she did say let
and she wants to move away from his hometown and he wants to stay and then he tells you with a wink and a conspiratorial stage whisper don't worry i'll convince her and she laughs about it - so clearly this is something they laugh about. but you do just stand there and stare at him like what the fuck, man. you can't say what you want to say which is why do you get the final say on everything because they're both obviously aware of the other person's stance on this and have obviously had private conversations about it and what are you going to do about it except make a scene and then he'll be mad at you and call you one of those bitches behind your back and she'll cut you off, which is a loss that doesn't feel worth it just because he makes you a little skeeved out every 3rd comment
and they both agree he just isn't the type to get flowers which is fine because everyone shows love differently, and are you really gonna judge someone based on their sense of individual relationship responsibility? maybe he's constantly cleaning her car and writing her poems and making her furniture or something. maybe she doesn't even like flowers and this is perfect, actually. and no you couldn't date him, obviously, ew; but like, she tells you she's happy. you almost send her a tiktok that says don't be 25 and the cool girl that doesn't need anything, you'll hate not getting flowers at 30, but that's like, starting drama & you shouldn't start drama needlessly.
and you're a little older than her but not so much older you can pull the whole trust me on this one babe thing and besides that wouldn't have worked anyway (when does it ever) and besides you have trauma so you and your therapist both agree that you're always looking for a problem even when there isn't one. and you tell yourself that just because you see them for 15 minutes every month does not mean you can identify every single red flag based on a single shitty half-joking(?) comment
and besides, what are you going to do? she says i actually wanted another stand mixer but thankfully he stops me when i'm about to spend too much money and you're standing there like are you okay? is this normal? is this just something people say? and again - what are you going to do?
to your therapist you try to language it - it's not, like, any of my business. but sometimes, doesn't it feel like - you should do something. there's got to be something, right? you've tried dropping little hints but they sail right through and you've tried having a single serious conversation and she got upset because why does it matter to you, yes it's different but we're happy, it doesn't need to make sense to you and you're like. really unwilling to push a boundary about it anymore; because the truth is that you know logically it shouldn't matter to you, as long as both parties are happy.
and besides, you've been wrong before. it's just... like, every time you see them both, something else happens, some kind of shiver down your spine like do you even hear each other when you talk. it's their strange, bickering orbit. just the way he's on his phone through dinner or watching sports instead of helping in the kitchen or, fuck, another one of these little throwaway comments he makes about we'll see about that, babe. she laughs when he calls her passions stupid shit and meanwhile she gets him tickets to see the knicks and he tells you well at least she's smart about something and still! it's none of your business.
you say get the dog anyway and she laughs. like, this is is you being funny. and not you saying - no really. get the dog. get the dog and get out of here. pack up and start running.
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Chilchuck analysis speedrun: As a hardworking half-foot who grew up poor and discriminated against and had his gullibility taken advantage of multiple times in his early adventuring days, Chilchuck thinks optimism is a dangerous flaw. He’s stressed and strict all the time because his job is noticing details like traps that could get everyone killed before anyone knows it, he takes the lives of everyone to be on his shoulders, and with the way he speaks about it that probably partly reflects how he felt about taking it upon himself to provide for his family too. His life’s always been pretty centered around work and has become even moreso now that his wife left and everyone is independent, and due to past events he’s very iffy with bonding with coworkers. He thinks feelings and job are a disaster mix. Like with his wife or with parties hiring him as sacrifice, being open or having good faith is vulnerability which can get you hurt, so he processes and shows all his stress as anger instead of worry. Doing strict dieting probably isn’t helping the irritability what with hunger, and on top of being a hunger suppressant alcohol might be the main stress reliever he has.
His grey hairs are so earned
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"this is me on day one of NO rendog !!"
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