#was it so hard to give us some sobbe | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ayellowcurtain · 3 years

Text

For a slice in the life: could you write something about Sobbe not being together, yet, and sander works at a museum and robbe comes in super late and something happens and they get locked in together?

Robbe walks around the place with no rush even though it’s a little bit dark and he would be scared any other day. He’s feeling a rush he never felt before, he looks over his shoulder and Sander is still there, following, interested in where Robbe is going or if he has any questions Sander can help with the answers.

He shakes his head and laughs under his breath, almost sure Sander can’t hear it. This feels like an outside of the body experience. Like it’s freshly out of a romantic, classic movie.

A storm made him rush inside the first door he ran into, his favorite museum where, by accident, his platonic love works. It’s late, the museum was closed and now he’s stuck inside an art museum, talking to his dream guy who he only watched from afar before this, never even had the guts to say hi, or think about a random art question to start some conversation that wouldn’t sound dumb or too easy to be asked.

Sander looks at him in a way that makes Robbe blush before saying a word, he feels all his body go into overdrive and he can feel Sander is reading right through him. So he doesn’t try to find an excuse. Fuck it. If Sander can read him, at least Robbe won’t have to say what he feels.

“I like working here…”

Robbe jumps with the sudden smooth voice behind him, looking over his shoulder. “What?”

Sander snorts. “That’s a question people often ask me. Thought you would like to ask too.”

Robbe starts walking even slower, looking up to see the light that comes through the high windows right before the loud thunder. Sander catches up, walking next to him.

“Do you make art too? Or to just look and talk about it?” Robbe asks, now even more curious since the awkwardness is slowly being forgotten.

“I like looking at pretty, interesting things, yeah. But I try to make some things too.” Sander shrugs, and Robbe notices a hint of doubt in the way he talks.

“Really? What type?”

“I like drawing, taking pictures...sometimes I spray paint.” Robbe’s heart starts beating even faster. He went to a place to spray paint not too long ago. It felt fun and exhilarating. He’s still not sure if because it was illegal or actually fun. “And you, nameless boy that comes here every week, any interest in arts? I don’t like assuming things but you do come here often so I assume you like some paintings, at least.”

Robbe stutters in his thoughts, only then realizing he never said his name. They just looked at each other and at the storm outside, and Robbe managed to lie like it was something that made sense, saying he was going to look around for a minute and Sander followed him. He knows his name because he uses the tag with it.

“Robbe.” He stops and offers his hand like a dumbass, introducing himself and asking for a handshake five minutes after meeting the boy. Sander looks at his hand and smiles, finally shaking his hand.

“Nice to meet you, Robbe.” He keeps shaking their hands, and Robbe feels like one of them has to break it, to let go but they don’t until they both do a lot later than what a handshake should last.

“Nice to meet you too.”

Robbe closes his hand, hoping that way he can hold the feeling for a second longer. Sander’s hand feels like how an artist's hand would feel, Robbe assumes. It’s nice, the feeling of knowing how it is to hold a boy’s hand, the boy of his dreams.

“So, Robbe, do you like art?”

“I like making videos…”

“Really? Never tried that one.” Sander seems to think about the possibility now that it was mentioned.

Robbe sighs, shaking his head. “It’s a thing I do for myself, nobody knows about it.”

Sander nods his head. “Is it bad if I ask why I am the first? I’m flattered, honestly. I’m very curious though.”

It’s not like Robbe hides it from people. He’s sure his mom and at least Jens and Moyo already saw him filming things for no reason. They don’t ask why or to see what he’s doing so he doesn’t tell them either. Sander is the first one to show any interest.

“Nobody ever asked. So it’s no big deal.”

Sander laughs, walking a little too close. “Well, I was hoping it was a big deal. I was thinking I was important already…”

Robbe looks down, blushing from head to toe, he’s sure. If he was brave enough he would ask why there is so much interest. Nobody is ever that interested in what he’s thinking or what he wants to say. Robbe craves like he can’t even admit. Robbe craves a lot and lets it out very little. He craves affection, interest, attention, love, care.

“You want to be important?” He asks before he can sabotage himself with the constant self-doubt.

Sander moves his head quietly, like he’s not sure what he’s trying to say, if it’s a no head shake or a yes. He finally nods his head.

“It would be nice.”

Robbe smiles without meaning too, his heart beating all over his body, almost making him shake or faint, one of the two.

“I’ve noticed you before...I think you are the person I’ve seen the most since I started working here.”

In the back of his mind, Robbe knew it would be hard to go completely unnoticed. He comes here basically every day he can. He’s not sure if Sander noticed him stealing quick looks whenever he was busy with another visitor. He hopes he didn’t notice that part.

“Is it too much if I ask if the reason why you come here so often is me?”

Robbe laughs nervously because everything he has of shyness, Sander has in his bravery to ask anything so bluntly. But he likes Sander, likes the ideas of him that Robbe created watching him interact with his visitors. If he misses the one opportunity he might have with the boy, Robbe won’t stop hating himself for it. He turns on his heels, contracting every muscle in his body with anxiety.

“If the answer is yes, what will you think?”

“Of you?”

“Generally, I think.” Robbe shakes his head, trying to fix his hair to look better without showing he’s trying.

“I would be happy, generally. You interest me…”

“I do?” Robbe frowns, surprised he would ever interest anyone. Sander nods his head, smiling comfortably.

“You’re cute.” They walk back to the first floor, walking around the empty, long halls, adjusting any bench that might be slightly out of place grabbing some piece of paper an art student might have dropped while taking notes to throw it in the nearest trash.

“Do you have a favorite art piece here?”

Sander nods his head, stopping to sit on one of the benches. “You.”

Robbe blushes, looking down and turning to sit next to him, not too close.

“Are you always this flirty with your visitors?”

Sander snorts, messing up the back of his hair like he’s nervous. Robbe stares to take that in because it doesn’t seem to happen often.

“Sorry. Shit, sorry. I’ll stop, didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Robbe moves to look at him, feeling bad for the over use of apologies because he’s often the one to do it.

“There’s no need to apologize, I’m not uncomfortable because of you.” Robbe digs his short nail against his palm. “I never thought you would flirt with me. But it’s nice.”

Sander frowns like he just said the most absurd thing. Robbe wishes so badly he could film Sander right now, or at least take a picture. He wants to have proof of this moment, of being stuck inside a museum with his platonic crush. Nothing that you save in your memory has this many details, like the thick, dark eyebrows, with the black shirt and tanned skin in contrast with the white hair. He’s a dream, a lot more beautiful than any of the art pieces on the walls.

“It’s funny that you say that because I was nervous to flirt with you. To, hm, try and see what happens because it took me weeks to gather the courage to introduce myself. And you’re here, thinking I would never flirt with you.” He takes a second, trying to understand. “Why?”

“You’re a cool guy, confident and social and smart and into the arts. I’m pretty basic for you.”

Robbe gets up to see the piece on the wall in front of them but he’s seen this one so many times that he doesn’t really stare at it for long, looking at Sander again.

“You think too far ahead. I try to take things minute by minute. I read this somewhere, or watched somewhere and it feels right. Thinking too far in the future gives me too much anxiety. But you don’t seem too basic for me, not now, not ever.”

Robbe taps his feet on the ground, the noises of the rain dying down outside but still being loud enough to make it hard for him to hear his own nervous noises.

“Do you feel like grabbing a coffee? Maybe tomorrow afternoon.”

Sander smiles, looking at him, always feeling like he looks for a second too long but in a good way, feels comforting and not inquisitive.

“Yeah, yeah, of course. Where do you study? I can stop by and we can walk to whatever coffee place you like.”

Robbe blushes, already daydreaming about Sander there, waiting for him outside his school for them to go on a date. Everyone might see him, and Robbe won’t know how to explain it. He can already imagine Zoe or Jana rushing to ask about him the next morning.

They exchange phone numbers and Sander offers to show him his second favorite thing in the museum

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tired0artist · 3 years

Text

not enough (part two)

>part one<

paring: female!V x Johnny Silverhand

warnings: depression, amnesia, alcoholism, angst, fluff, happy ending (but you gotta wait for it), character (near) death

summary: continuation to the first part.

note: as before I will be describing my V. and yes, there will be a third part. I’m not gonna be a cunt and leave you guys with this lmao.

————<•>————

V was pointlessly walking through the city, staring at her feet. It wasn’t raining like in the old movies she and Johnny watched in the old cinema after Rouge left. No. It was loud, smelly, bright and full of people.

She ended up in the park where she first met Zen master and sat down on a bench. V stared at her still shaking hands and wished that suddenly she would feel a small pinch in her brain and Johnny would appear out of nowhere.

He would appear just to talk shit about people passing by, hoping to make her laugh or annoy her enough so that she would take her mind off of whatever was bothering her.

But he wasn’t there. Her Johnny was probably gone... what’s left is in her brain. While the other Johnny didn’t seem to even want to look at her... maybe he truly just didn’t like her. And she was trying to do the impossible.

Suddenly she got a call. Third time this night. From the same person.

She picked up and said “Hey, Kerry...”

Kerry’s tired and panicked face appeared and he seemed to be driving “V!! Oh thank what ever is watching over us! Fuck honey! I was so worried, where are you? Where did you go at night? Was it Johnny again? I swear I’ll kick his young ass for what he’s doing to you!”

V choked on a sobb. Somehow hearing Kerry’s voice and the worry for her of all people in his voice... cause her to break and just whimper.

“Kerry...”

He stopped talking and looked into his phone, asking gently “Honey, where are you? I’ll come get you”

After explaining where she was, Kerry had her keep the call going. He wanted to know if she was safe.

Not even ten minutes passed, as Kerry found her. He immediately hugged the young woman to his chest and caressed her black thick hair.

“Shhh... I’m here honey. Come on, let’s go home”

Kerry led V to his expensive car and soon he was driving the now silent woman to his mansion. He was growing worried as she entered the residence without a word, took her naked cat and went inside her room.

V took off her clothes, putting on an old SAMURAI shirt and a pair of sport shorts. She got under the covers with Nibbles, she kissed the cat’s head as he snuggled into her shirt, seeking warmth.

She must’ve fell asleep because what woke her up was yelling coming from somewhere in the villa. V got up and took her gun, intending to blast whoever was a threat. What she didn’t expect is to see Rogue on the couch across from Kerry who was smoking.

V didn’t make herself known yet as she listened to the pair.

“—told him to fuck off and look for a new place. I don’t care that he doesn’t have a place to stay at. He was fucking with V too much. I tried looking the other way, but I fucking can’t. He’s worse than ever” Rogue said putting her phone in her pocket.

“Back in our day... he was an asshole. Sure. But now? What he’s doing isn’t even like him...” Kerry said, with a heavy sigh.

“I’m not surprised that V finally had enough. Poor kid... we should’ve intervened”

“No” V said, walking out from behind a pillar “It’s between him and me. He didn’t do anything to you, if anything he is nice to you. He doesn’t deserve this from you...”

“Kid, did you hit your head? He’s a complete psycho—“ Rogue started.

“To me, not to you. I don’t want you to take it out on him. He needs you both” V stated, looking away “He doesn’t need me anymore but you two are important to him... I’ll be fine. I’ll leave him alone, if he’ll need anything he’ll come... like he did for the last month...”

Kerry stood up and wrapped his arm around V saying “No, no. No more helping him out from you. You tried to be there for him and he’s worse than ever. So from now on, leave him be. Deny any request and just let him figure it out. Just like he did inside your brain”

“He’s right. Fuck Johnny. Let him find his way to you” Rogue said, while crossing her arms.

V looked between them and finally nodded “Okay... maybe you’re right. He needs to process everything on his own”

“Yup. Of course we’ll be there for him, but your door is closed honey. If he’ll want in, then the fuck will have to find a window to enter through” Kerry said, trying to cheer up the younger woman.

She smiled a bit but soon looked away. One question on her mind, ever since she left Johnny.

And of course nothing goes unnoticed with the Queen of Afterlife in the room.

“What is it kid? There’s something more bothering you” she stated.

Kerry immediately sat V down next to him on the couch saying “Come on, V. You can tell us anything”

V stared at her hands and finally asked “Do you think that... if Johnny and I met normally and not through the chip... would he still... would he and I—“

“Well kid, he would be old like us. But knowing Johnny, he would have his eyes on you the first time you stepped inside Afterlife with that friend of yours” Rogue said with a small smile, thinking about the situation.

“And if he didn’t see you there, then probably after finding out that you were the one stealing from Arasaka? And rumoured that you were somehow involved with the death of Saburo? V, he would have wedding rings ordered” Kerry said with a laugh, as Rogue snorted.

“The man would be stumbling over his feet for you if things were normal, kid”

V laughed along with them, her heart somehow feeling lighter the longer she spent time with Rogue and Kerry. To her they were like a clan. Like a family.

As weeks went by, V returned to her work but was also in charge of the security at Afterlife. Which meant a lot of fucking paper work, dealing with idiots and sitting with Rogue. Keeping an eye out for anyone who would want to kill the woman.

Johnny tried calling V couple of times during the first few weeks. She didn’t answer any of his calls, although her heart was heavy with worry. Because what if he really needed help? What if someone stabbed him and he was bleeding out in some alleyway?

This paranoia caused V to call Rogue or wake up Kerry so that they could call the man and find out what’s going on.

Each time they either got a question.

“Where’s V?”

Or if he was drunk enough they got a statement.

“I need V”

But every time his friends would refuse him anything related to the young nomad.

Whenever V saw Johnny at Afterlife she simply left the room or just kept her distance. Giving him space.

Although it felt like he didn’t want space. Because whenever she stayed in the room, his dark eyes would be on her the whole time.

One time a guy came over to V and tried to seduce her, drunkenly. The guy was getting a bit too touchy and she was just about to get the fucker out of the Afterlife. But before she could even push him away, the guy got yanked back buy his shoulder so hard, that V was sure it was dislocated.

“Fucking dog. Out. Now”

She looked up in confusion just to see Johnny dragging the guy outside of the Afterlife. V wanted to go after him, but decided to stay and instead ordered Jackie’s disgusting drink and went to sit with Rogue.

The Queen of the Afterlife smiled at V as she sat down next to her. Around an hour later, Johnny came up to Rogue asking for some intel.

V tried to look away from him, but the seemingly fresh blood on his metal arm and on his neck, caught her attention. She stared at it in slight shock and looked up just to see Johnny staring at her. He didn’t say anything. But his eyes screamed. Without a word to V, he thanked Rogue and left.

Next morning they found a body in an alleyway near the Afterlife.

One evening V was at Afterlife for a different reason, than normally.

She was sitting at the bar talking to Claire when she heard someone call her name. With a smile she turned to see Judy and Panam walking inside.

“Hey, there V. Finally found the time for us huh?” Judy said as she sat down at the bar, the other girl following.

“Yeah I was waiting for a fucking call, you asshole. The fuck were you doing?” Panam said, already ordering a beer.

V’s heart felt lighter as she was around her girls and immediately she regretted not calling them sooner.

“Sorry, I was busy and things were complicated for a bit. But hey, I’m back on board” she said while raising her glass.

“Fine, you’re off the hook for tonight” Judy said, while Panam mumbled something under her breath. Unwilling agreeing.

“Thanks, really I want us to meet up more. I’m no longer dying so, how about we have fun?” V joked slightly.

“Sure, what’s on the menu? I’ve never been here for a drink before” Judy said.

Claire came up, hearing this and said “First time? Well people here, like V and her friend did, normally order Silverhand on their first visit”

Both Panam and Judy frowned at it, as V simply said “Fuck that, three Jackie Wells’s for us. Time to change the favourite drink”

Claire grinned and got to work.

“Is it any good?” Panam asked as soon as the three of them had the drinks in their hands.

V laughed and shook her head “It’s the worst drink Jackie ever made for me. Cheers”

While V downed her drink whole, Judy got couple of sips in before asking for something else. But Panam much like V, drank the whole thing. But she actually enjoyed it.

“You’re fucking weird Panam” V laughed as Panam once again ordered Jackie’s drink.

“A psychopath” Judy agreed with a smirk.

Panam flipped them off, saying “You don’t have raste, chooms. And V here is the true psychopath. She drinks it even though she doesn’t like it”

“Fuck off, Panam” V laughed and finished her drink, calling Claire over saying “Okay Claire, one Silverhand for me!”

“Coming right up!” the bartender called back.

“By the way how’s your parasite doing? Still neck deep in shit?” Judy asked, looking at V closely.

“Yeah, you kicked his ass right?” Panam added, already looking pissed.

V simply sighed and thanked Claire as she handed her the drink.

“It’s not that easy... let’s not talk about him tonight. I want to hang out with my chooms for a bit”

Both girls looked ready to push V but eventually nodded, changing the subject.

The rest of the night they spend drinking, dancing and laughing at some dumb shit. It made V, feel like she did with Jackie when she first came to the Nightcity.

It was getting bright by the time the girls left the Afterlife. They were giggling shits, as V was searching for a cig.

“I thought you weren’t smoking” Panam said as she watched V clumsyly lit up a cigarette and passing it to Judy.

“I’m not... Judy and I are sharing” V said with a laugh.

Panam snorted and leaned against a wall, Judy following as V stood in front of the girls.

V was looking around, while smoking as if looking for something.

“V you okay?” Panam asked in confusion.

“Huh? Yeah just looking for Johnny... he usually comes out when I smoke”

Judy passed her the cigarette with a frown saying “V, he’s not in your head anymore”

V flinched and stared at the smoking cigarette in her hand “Oh... yeah... I guess, I forgot...” slowly she brought the cig to her lips, as Panam scoffed.

“Fucking Silverhand... why didn’t you just kick his ass when he came back as a amnesiac asshole?”

“Yeah V... he was treating you like shit. Why did you go through with it?” Judy asked.

V started shaking as tears gathered in her violet eyes, she sniffed saying “B-Because I promised him... back in Mikoshi. He was afraid of going back to who he was and of being alone... I promised him that I— that I would be there for him. That I wouldn’t hate him”

“Okay, but still. V that wasn’t healthy, the fucker shouldn’t ask for the impossible from you” Panam said.

“Panam is right. Besides your not his babysitter, it’s better that you’d leave—” Judy added, only to get cut off by V nearly yelling.

“I love him”

The girls watched in stunned silence as the young nomad, fell apart in front of them.

“I love him so much it fucking hurts. I love him so much that, I let him treat me like that because I knew that it was his defence mechanism. He was fucking testing if I really wouldn’t leave him... but I failed because I couldn’t handle it anymore... and I can only hope that he’ll find his way... even without me”

V was sobbing and she threw the cigarette on the ground and left, calling a cab to get her.

Not realising that what stunned her girls wasn’t her breaking down. But the man who stood behind her, looking at her in shock as he heard her every word.

Next morning, or rather afternoon was harsh for V. She woke up feeling like shit, her body screaming at her every move.

“Fuck...” she mumbled, while getting out of bed. V made her way through the large villa to the living room, where Kerry was keeping his painkillers. He was already there, playing his guitar.

“Oh look who has returned to the living! I thought that you died there, honey” Kerry said, enjoying the rough state the young woman was in.

“Shut up, Kerry... or I swear I’ll shove that guitar up your ass” V mumbled taking the painkillers.

Kerry laughed and shook his head, taking out his phone he said “I’ll order us some dinner, while you go and make yourself a drink”

V nodded and left the room, trying not to think about the bad hangover she had when Johnny took over.

In the evening she was back at Afterlife. Claire laughed as she saw the rough state the merc was in.

“Rough night?”

V glared slightly saying “Don’t you know it, you demon in disguise... why did you let me drink so much?”

“Well it’s my job, hun. But you really went overboard. When Rogue saw your bill? I throught that she would have a heart attack”

“Fuck... did she ask to see it? Anyway how much to I owe you?”

Claire laughed saying “Rogue payed for it all, so nothing. Also you need to go see her, she’s waiting”

V paled as she glanced at Rogue’s booth, the older woman was already watching her.

“Shit. Okay Claire, I need one shot of tequila before I talk to her”

Claire nodded while laughing, saying “Damn you’re acting like a kid who got caught stealing candy”

V drank the shot and said “I always feel like that with Rogue, so wish me luck”

“I hope you don’t get grounded and still come over to play” Claire joked as V flipped her off.

As V walked over to the Queen of Afterlife, she smiled sheepishly saying “Uhh... hey Rouge?”

The woman’s eyes were cutting as she said “Saw your tab, kid. You’re trying to off yourself? I’m surprised you even got up this morning”

“Oh come on, it was a girls night out. You know that I don’t party that often”

“That’s true, just go more slowly next time. Your body is still regenerating after the relic. Now, I’ve got a job for you” Rogue said.

Hours later V was bleeding out in Pacifica, behind a fucking crate inside some dirty warehouse. She killed everyone, including the target but what was it worth if she couldn’t move.

“Fuck...” she hissed, while calling Rogue.

The woman’s face appeared as she asked “V? Job done?”

V coughed up some blood “Yeah, but I’m kinda bleeding out... in the warehouse...”

Rogue looked scared but something else caught her gaze as she yelled out “Johnny! Fuck! V hang on, I think he’s coming for you. I need to give him a call and exact location, stay awake kid”

With that the call ended and V was left all alone. She focused on the pain, trying to stay awake. Tears were running down her cheeks as she was scared shitless. She died once and it wasn’t pretty. She didn’t want to go again.

As she held her hands on her bleeding stomach, she couldn’t help but think about Jackie.

Is this how he felt in his last moments? This is the pain he felt? Well fuck.

V was at the verge of falling asleep as a Porsche burst through the doors of the warehouse. The bang woke her up a bit, as her heart speed up a bit.

She heard the cardoor open, following by a yell.

“V?! It’s Johnny! Where are you?!”

She tried to scream but ended up coughing up some more blood. Thankfully it was enough for Johnny to hear her as he came running.

He fell on his knees in front of her and touched her hands, taking them away from her wound.

“H-How—“

“Shh.. don’t talk. You’ll be fine, you hear me? You’ll be okay, sweetheart” he said while patching her up a bit. His military training helping at times like this.

V was shaking, her eyes trying to roll back into her skull.

“Johnny... cold...”

“Fuck... hang on V. Eyes on me, okay? You’ll be fine” he said, his own hands trembling a bit as he desperately patched her up.

V could see black spots as the coldness was starting to surround her, she didn’t even feel Johnny’s hands working on her.

She barely raised her hand and touched his face, taking off his glasses clumsily. V smiled at his dark eyes, whispering.

“Th-Thank you...” with the last grip on consciousness she smirked “Lo-Love you... Robert”

Johnny’s face turned white and shocked, and V felt glad that for the last time she managed to make this asshole speechless and have the last word.

•there will be part three as I said above so follow me or just check the tag “Johnny Silverhand x V”

•also English isn’t my first language so sorry for any errors.

•thank you all for reading this and the first part. I’m not good at writing angst and catching people’s feelings but with V and Johnny angst is a must hahah

Tag list (if you wanna be tagged leave a comment): @dartheldur @signwriting @missweatherwax @commanding-officer @lovinghunty

#cp2077 #cyberpunk 2077 #johnny silverhand #johnny silverhand x v #night city #v #female v #cyberpunk rogue #cyberpunk kerry

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nbrook29 · 3 years

Note

45 for Sobbe 💜💜

Hi!

based on dialogue prompts

45. Don’t tempt me

"Wakey wakey."

"G'way."

He burrows deeper into the sheets so that intrusive light from the huge window on the other side of the room doesn’t reach his bloodshot eyes. The duvet feels so heavenly on his tired body; it’s so toasty warm and cozy that Robbe sends a silent thank you to Sander’s mom for splurging on this comforter that he’s sure has some kind of magical properties.

“Are we being a whiny baby?”

“Fuck’ff.”

A laughter booms behind his back and in normal circumstances it’s Robbe’s favorite sound, but right now its frequency makes Robbe’s head pound horribly and he wants to crawl out of his skin. He goes to put the cover over his head but the odor of alcohol pouring out of his pores hits him so strong his stomach turns unpleasantly so he just groans pathetically, pushing his face into the pillow to shut off the outside world.

He feels a featherlight kiss on his shoulder and it tickles a little but it also fills his stomach with the best kind of fuzzy feelings so the corners of his lips lift a little, helping with the pouting.

There’s a warm puff of air against his neck and then the bed starts shaking a little with giggling.

“Wow, you smell like a brewery floor.”

Robbe wants to elbow the asshole lying next to him but it would require way too much effort for the state he’s currently in so he just lifts his hand and flips him off which makes him laugh harder.

“Were you always such a sweet talker?” The words are a bit slurred but Sander gets the message anyway because right after that there is another bunch of kisses placed along the exposed part of his upper body.

“For you, always.” He finally reaches his nape, dragging his lips along his hairline and leaving open mouthed kisses to the juncture of his neck, goosebumps erupting all over Robbe’s bare arms.

Sander’s lips feel like a balm against his skin, so nice and soft that his splitting headache eases out a bit as he relaxes under his touch. It’s lulling him to sleep, and he’s drifting between a dream and reality, eyelids becoming heavier and heavier, body on its way to doze off when Sander pulls back making him let out a whine at the loss of contact.

“Come baaack.” He reaches blindly to draw him back but his fingers are only met with air and he pouts. The sudden movement makes his stomach roll and he gulps trying to assess whether he needs to find a toilet asap or if he can maybe stay in bed to die peacefully from alcohol poisoning.

Ugh, he’s never drinking again.

“Baby, we need to get some water into you, come on, up and at ‘em.”

Sander must’ve developed a wish to be puked on over night because he rolls him on his back like Robbe’s insides aren’t trying to get out.

He glares at him but it doesn’t seem to be very intimidating if Sander’s laughing face is anything to go by.

“What.”

“Nothing.”

Robbe rolls his eyes. “Oh my god what is it?”

“You look like an angry chicken with that crazy hair you have going on.”

He brushes his fingers through Robbe’s strands in an attempt to tame it a little, snorting under his breath when Robbe continues to shoot daggers at him.

“Keep those insults up and you’re gonna have to get reacquainted with your right hand for a month,” Robbe threatens half-heartedly, voice croaking from the lack of use and his drunken rendition of “Dancing Queen” with Aaron last night (and, oh god, he hopes Sander doesn’t remember that small detail because if he does, he’s going to tease him mercilessly til the day they die).

Sander knows him better than to take his threat for anything but an empty promise so he just leans in, his nose nudging Robbe’s as he whispers sweetly, batting his eyelashes.

“I never said you were an ugly angry chicken though. You’re still the cutest.” He pecks his nose and Robbe’s a sucker for him and his stupid compliments so it’s enough to make him melt. He bites his lip and smiles bashfully under Sander’s loving gaze, giving in to the urge to press their lips together in a good morning kiss.

So he throws his arms around his neck to pull him closer and kisses a line down his jaw to his throat first, reveling in the feeling of stubble under his lips, its roughness always reminding Robbe that he’s kissing a man, heat pooling in his stomach so easily with the morning, with Sander hovering over him and letting out appreciative sighs at his caresses.

He’s beginning to think they might take things further and he’s already looking forward to the release of tension in his still aching head that’s definitely going to come with a bliss of orgasm. But when he finally locks their lips together, Sander retreats after merely 5 seconds with a scrunched up face, apology mixed with mirth in his eyes.

“Baby, I love you, but your breath is lethal.” He places a placating kiss on his forehead instead and then puts some distance between them as if to emphasize his point.

Robbe blinks up at him, staring jaw-dropped and trying to make sense of Sander’s words and when it finally hits him he pushes at his face with a wail.

“Ugh, I hate you so much.”

He turns his back on him again and Sander bursts into laughter at his dramatics.

“Come on, let’s get you into the shower and once you’re minty fresh again you can have all the kisses you want,” he croons, trying to get Robbe to move out of bed on his own.

“Stop sucking up, you’re officially on my black list today,” is Robbe’s only response, his pout back and firmly in place at this shameless display of cheekiness from his boyfriend. “I’m not moving so either I’m staying here or you’re gonna have to carry me to the bathroom yourself, jerk,” he mumbles, scoffing and shrugging at Sander’s fingers scratching at his back just the way he likes in an attempt to appease him. Robbe tries as hard as he can not to let him know that it works.

“Oh don’t tempt me cause I will.”

He decides to ignore him and go back to sleep, hopefully waking up a bit more alive. After a bit of snuffling and squirming against the mattress, he finds a comfortable position and is on the verge of falling back asleep. But then, without a warning, he’s being swooped up from the bed and thrown over Sander’s shoulder as he marches them over to his adjacent bathroom. Once Robbe gets over the shock, he starts smacking his boxer-clad butt in revenge, wanting to be put back down but his feet only touch the ground when Sander reaches his destination, and the smirk on his face makes Robbe roll his eyes.

“You’re proud of yourself?”

“Very much, yes.”

He hands him a bottle of water and a toothbrush and turns the faucet on to start a bath before starting on the brushing himself. He’s looking at Robbe in the mirror expectantly and Robbe considers for a second to be childish about it.

He’s really thirsty though, he realizes, so he opens the bottle and chugs it all at once ignoring Sander’s triumphant face. Then, he reluctantly joins him at the sink, snatching the offered toothbrush out of his fingers and getting rid of the admittedly dreadful taste in his mouth.

The bathroom is getting steamy from the hot water that’s still pouring into the tub so once Sander is done with his morning routine, he turns it off, pulls his underwear off and swiftly sinks into the water. He rests his head against the rim of the tub and starts making grabby motions at Robbe who is now stubbornly propped against the sink, watching him with a bemused expression.

“Come on, you’re gonna feel much better afterwards,” Sander promises, pushing up a little to make space for him.

It’s probably very true but Robbe can’t just let him off the hook that easy so he crosses his arms, cocks his eyebrow and purses his lips expectantly.

Sander pushes his tongue in his cheek at that, smiling a little at the indignance on Robbe’s face. Then, he lifts his hands in surrender.

“I’m sorry.”

“For?”

“For being unacceptably rude to my precious boyfriend.”

Robbe can see that Sander is barely keeping it together, biting his lips to keep the laughter that threatens to sneak out inside but he feels satisfied with the answer anyway.

“That’s right,” he says loftily, putting on a serious face for a second but then letting go of all pretense, shaking his boxer briefs off and gingerly getting into the tub himself, hissing at the almost boiling-hot water.

Sander pulls him to his chest without waiting for him to get properly in, wrapping his arms around him and kissing the corner of his mouth, eagerly licking into his mouth in no time.

“I still think you have some apologizing left to do by the way,” Robbe informs him once they separate and he’s made himself comfortable in Sander’s arms. “I’m expecting a greasy breakfast after this. And then maybe a back massage.” He sighs dreamily. “Oh yes, a massage sounds amazing right now.”

Sander snorts from where he’s mouthing at his neck. “Anything else princess?”

He jabs him in the ribs at that but then he settles down again amidst Sander’s exaggerated cries of pain. “I’ll think about it.”

#wtfock

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if-you-built-yourself-a-myth · 3 years

Text

Check Ignition: Part II

The Sobbe fake-dating Hogwarts AU that one person asked for and I dove into headfirst.

Part I // Part II // Part III // Part IV

Requests are open if you have any ideas of what I should write next!

Moyo thought the situation was hilarious. “Dude,” he said, between fits of uncontrollable laughter. “You’re never going to get any pussy ever again. Oh my gosh.” He doubled over in front of the fireplace, clutching his stomach as if it would burst. As a Gryffindor, he shouldn’t be in the Hufflepuff common room at all, and neither should Zoë (a Ravenclaw). Zoë got permission because her boyfriend, Senne, was Head Boy. Moyo slipped under the radar because he never wore his tie around campus.

Aaron too had his concerns for Robbe’s love life. “Does it count as cheating? Amber said that Noor—”

“He just kissed you?” Zoë sat forward on the couch. “Just like that? No asking, or—”

Moyo cut back in. “You will never feel the sweet, sweet touch of a woman. The virgin Robbe.”

“Boys, boys,” said Jens, ever the peacemaker, ever Robbe’s protector. “Uh, and girl. We are solving the crisis, not bringing up new ones.” He gestured to Robbe. “You have the floor, my friend. What do you need from us?”

“I, uh—” Robbe began.

It had been Jens’s idea to tell Moyo and Aaron in the morning. Zoë just happened to be waiting around for Senne to come out of the dormitories at the same time. The Hufflepuff common room featured two tables on either side of the fireplace, each surrounded by four straight-backed chairs. One couch faced the fireplace, and right now, Aaron, Jens, and Zoë had claimed it for themselves. With all the prime real estate taken, none of the other students stuck around.

Plus, it was early, before breakfast and morning classes.

“Go ahead,” said Jens.

Robbe didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what Sander expected to get from the arrangement, either. What he knew:

1. Sander kissed him to get Britt off his back.

2. Sander referred to him as a boyfriend rather than a hookup.

3. Sander knew he wanted to get Noor to leave him alone.

What he didn’t know:

1. Did Sander want them to fake date?

2. Was it just a one-time thing?

He wasn’t a big fan of not knowing all the specifics. It was hard enough to trample down the feeling blossoming in his chest when he thought of kissing Sander again.

“I—I need—” What did he need? He needed to talk to Sander. They didn’t share any classes, nor were there any Hogsmede visits coming up in the near future. Robbe sure as hell wasn’t going to patrol down near the dungeons, even if Jana came with him, because they smelled like mildew and he didn’t want to run into anyone besides Sander. He decided on a placeholder for now. “I need you to go along with it. If Noor asks.”

“Go along with it?” Moyo repeated.

“Yeah, go along with it. Corroborate the story.”

“No. Absolutely not.” Moyo crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m not lying to a girl. Especially not a pretty one.”

Aaron nodded along. “That’s messed up.”

“You’re not going to earn any points by not,” said Jens. Thank goodness for Jens.

“It is a bit cruel, isn’t it?” said Zoë. “Tell her you’re not interested if you’re not interested. It’s an asshole move to drag someone else into it.”

They dissolved into cacophony, talking over one another without regard for volume. It reminded Robbe of last night’s music. He’d meant to ask the boys if anyone had heard anything from the astronomy tower last night (had Sander made a bubble at all?), but he hadn’t gotten the chance when Jens opened with “Sander told everyone he and Robbe are dating so Britt and Noor will leave them alone.”

“And she’s going to find out,” said Moyo. “Girls know everything. Imagine how that’ll feel—Robbe hates you so much he’d rather be gay than snog you. It’s not fair.”

Zoë pointed at Moyo to emphasize his point. “I’m surprised to hear such a rational take from you.”

“I don’t hate her!” Robbe felt the need to step in and defend his honor. “I already told her I’m not interested. She keeps circling back around, and I’m tired.” In truth, he hadn’t said anything explicit. She should understand his apathy by the way he never took her coat or offered to walk her back to her common room. Perhaps that made him a bad person. “Look, this won’t be forever. We’ll give it a week and we’ll break up and everything will go back to normal.”

Moyo laughed without humor. “Yeah, minus any chance of ever having sex with a girl ever again.”

“You had to ruin it,” said Zoë. “Bad take.”

“Okay, but after the whole thing last night, Noor’s gonna be depressed no matter what,” Jens said. “You tell her that last night was for Sander, and she’s going to be all over you again. You tell her it was so both of you could avoid both of them, and now she’s just as upset as she would be with the fake-dating. It makes more sense to go along, fake a breakup, and let the whole thing fizzle. No one gets hurt.”

The others considered this analysis. Robbe took to pacing back and forth in front of the fireplace. He really didn’t want Noor to get hurt in all of this—did he?—but the allure of having her leave him alone was too great to pass up. And she’d be hurt if he told her flat-out, so wouldn’t this roundabout way be better? Yes, Jens was right. Aaron, Zoë, Moyo, and Jens gathered together in a makeshift huddle to deliberate the issue like committee.

Robbe pretended not to hear their animated whispers. He caught bits and pieces.

“Noor is kind of annoying—”

“What’s done is done, isn’t it?”

“—something an asshole would do. Remember when Jana—”

“I would never—”

The giant clock on the wall above the exit read seven. Breakfast would be ready in the Great Hall any minute now, and they’d need to hurry if they wanted to eat in time for History of Magic. Any later than seven-fifteen and Noor would be downstairs, too.

“It’s agreed, then,” announced Jens. He stood up and adjusted his tie. “We play along. Robbe and Sander five-ever. C’mon, boys, class.”

Moyo and Aaron grumbled to themselves, but they followed Jens to the portrait on the wall and slipped through with Robbe at their heels.

***

The walk to the Potions classroom felt longer than ever before. It was the first class of the day that Robbe didn’t share with one of his friends, because Moyo and Aaron were shit at following instructions and Jens had never created anything that worked. They barely mustered satisfactory grades last year. Robbe was a rule-follower. That’s why he was a prefect, and that’s why he could make a damn good Wolfsbane potion.

“Hello, darling!”

Someone slammed into him from the side, almost knocking his textbook from his hands. Robbe looked up and right at Sander’s perfect face. Sander’s eyes were alight, even in the dim aesthetic of the dungeon hallway. He held an embroidered canvas schoolbag over one shoulder and a wand in his left hand. It was all Robbe could do to not collapse when he slipped his right hand into Robbe’s and squeezed—until Robbe spotted Britt standing at the door to the potions classroom. Her eyes locked on them.

That answered some questions, anyway. Sander wanted whatever this was to continue.

“Where are you headed?” Sander asked. “I’ve got Transfiguration in a half hour, so I’m free to take you wherever. He said the words a lot louder than he needed to.

Robbe shared Potions with Britt. He’d totally forgotten. And he couldn’t possibly go see her, could he? So really, there was only one thing he could say. “Free period. I’m wandering.”

“Lead the way, oh wanderer.”

They walked side-by-side down the corridor, passing in front of the haunted girls’ bathroom and a wall stained by something that looked an awful lot like blood. Sander’s long strides made it difficult for Robbe to keep up; it took two of his steps to match one of Sander’s. He noticed something he hadn’t before—he didn’t make a habit of watching Sander walk when they went out with Britt. Sander kept his chin angled toward the ceiling and seemed to base his gait on the people around him. Faster than everyone else. Even if it took more effort than casual.

“Is this a thing now?” Robbe whispered. He tried to hide the fact that he might be wheezing. “If it shows Noor I’m not changing my mind, I’m still all the way…”

“I’d assumed it would be. Are there going to be rules?”

“Rule number one: you sit detention for the music. I still reported you.”

Sander stopped abruptly; his eyes caught on something down the hallway. “Duck into this bathroom with me,” he said. “Lingering kiss, then bathroom. Cool?”

“Uh, cool,” said Robbe.

The words had barely left his mouth before Sander’s lips were on his, something sweet, soft, and sloppy. Not as good as last night’s. Robbe decided he hadn’t really enjoyed that one, either. It was nerves that made it seem that way. He pulled away first.

It was kind of good, though. Ugh, kind of.

They turned, and Sander dragged Robbe into the bathroom by his wrist. He played the part of lovestruck teenager very well, from the mischievous glint in his eyes to the exaggerated gesture of the dragging. Once inside, he backed Robbe against a sink like they were going to kiss again, hard enough to make a loud clank. Then he withdrew, peeked out the door.

“Saw Noor,” he said, by way of explanation.

“Huh,” said Robbe.

“Is that the kind of stuff you want?”

“Don’t you have Transfiguration?”

Sander dismissed him. “I can cut. More important matters at hand.” He spun around to lean against the sink next to Robbe, who hadn’t moved since he was pushed. The sinks were arranged in a circular formation in the center of the bathroom, accessible from the stalls on either side. A large stained-glass picture of a massive snake glared down at them from the far wall. “What do you want this to entail?”

The porcelain dug into Robbe’s back at an unpleasant angle. He tried to remedy the feeling with a little fidgeting around. “What do you want it to entail?”

“You came to me. Clearly you have ideas. Britt will hate whatever.”

Robbe took a deep breath. “I just want Noor to think I’m in a relationship. So, like, you can do what you think—I mean, what will make her think—”

“Got it, got it.”

The bathroom was suddenly smaller than it felt a second ago. Silence made it even worse. Robbe stared at the floor so that he wouldn’t stare at Sander; he didn’t want to give off the impression that he was enjoying Sander’s company too much. He found himself thinking the same thing he’d been thinking since Sander kissed him yesterday: if only the boys knew, if only the boys knew, if only the boys knew… Which was a fruitless pursuit.

This was an arrangement and the relationship was fake. He wasn’t actually enjoying it.

No need to tell Jens or Moyo or Aaron anything more.

“Okay,” said Sander. “Give it five more minutes here like we’re making out. Then we head to the astronomy tower and we discuss the finer details. Sound like a plan?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool.

Sander raised his wand and pointed it at a roll of toilet paper that sat on one of the toilets. The roll transformed into a compact CD player, floated over to their place at the sink, and began to play the same song as the player last night. “Not going to sit here in silence,” he said. The implication was that they wouldn’t talk to each other, Robbe thought. He dug his fingernails into the edges of the sink and counted down from three hundred so that he didn’t notice the veins in Sander’s hands.

They carried the player with them when they left the bathroom, only this time, Robbe could tell that Sander had actually performed some kind of bubble charm on the audio. No one so much as glanced in their direction as they wove their way through the packed hallways. They climbed the stairs to the astronomy tower, keeping to the right, and Robbe was surprised to watch Sander hop up into the little windowsill that Robbe fancied he owned.

“Alright, actual conversation.” Sander folded his legs and sat across from Robbe. “I should know things about you if I’m going to be convincing. And vice versa.”

“I’m a Hufflepuff,” said Robbe. That seemed like enough.

Not for Sander. “Real things. You know, mother’s maiden name, first grade teacher, the name of your first pet…”

Hang on, those questions sounded familiar. “Are you trying to steal my bank account?”

“Ah, so you have one?”

“A muggle one, yes. Not at Gringotts.”

Sander nodded, satisfied. “Me too. I mean, I have one at Gringotts, but it’s got like twenty Galleons in it. Maybe.” He pointed to the compact player. “Muggleborn.”

Robbe was a little startled at this information—Slytherin house favored purebloods, even when not in the midst of a war based on magical purity. Something about the founder and this whole thing with a basilisk.

“You too?” Sander prompted.

“I—uh, no,” Robbe said. “My dad is a wizard, just my mom isn’t, and I live with her during the summer.”

“Hm. What do you like to do in your spare time?”

“I don’t know. I study a lot. And I hang out with my friends, I guess.”

“Who are your friends?”

“Jens, Moyo, Aaron, and the girls. Are you going down a checklist or something?”

Sander laughed self-consciously. It was such a nice sound, holy shit, Robbe could listen to it all day. Sander adjusted his tie and shirt collar. “Forgive me for wanting to know more about you.” Robbe felt something swell in his chest and die when Sander continued, “What if Britt asks for info and I can’t give details? She’ll know something’s up for sure.”

“Yeah, of course,” Robbe ceded. Of course it was about the arrangement, that’s why they were there. Focus, Robbe. “The girls are Jana, Zoë, Amber, Yasmina, and Luca, if you want to write that down. We’re not really close, though. Just me and Jana.”

“Why’s that?”

“Jens is my best friend and Jana dated him for a while.”

“Huh. Committing that to memory.” Sander put his fingertips on his forehead and hummed to the tune of the CD’s song as if he were downloading information. “Okay, it’s there. Anything else?”

Robbe scoured his brain for something interesting about himself that would be helpful for a boyfriend to know. Boyfriend. Fuck. He gave himself a moment to savor the way it sounded in his head. Boyfriend. My boyfriend. There was a crisis there, in that it was so right compared to girlfriend’s wrongness, but he wasn’t going to have that breakdown right now. Boyfriend. Sexuality debates could wait until the whole fake-dating thing was done, because Sander wasn’t an option either way. Oh, but still, boyfriend.

“My favorite food is shrimp. I’m not a fan of reading but I’m okay at studying when Yasmina’s there. I’m a prefect. Is that enough?”

Sande shook his head. “I need something not a lot of people know. Insider knowledge.”

Insider knowledge? There wasn’t much of that in Robbe’s head. He’d been pretty open with everyone, except the maybe liking boys thing, and he wasn’t ready to admit that to himself.

He didn’t like boys.

“I was the one who broke them up,” Robbe confessed. “Jens and Jana, I mean.” He didn’t know why he picked this specific piece of information out of everything in his head; it was just the most available. Maybe it would serve Sander better to know a dark secret. “I told people something I shouldn’t have, so… well, you know. On purpose. I think you should know that.”

Sander squinted at him. “Not a good secret keeper. Okay.”

Yells echoed from the Gryffindor/Slytherin Quidditch match outside, mostly profanity and the occasional creative insult. Robbe was a seeker on the Hufflepuff team, Jens a chaser, and Aaron an alternate beater. They had a game next week, and it would make a lot of sense for Sander to attend, given the circumstances of their relationship… There should be something more to say to each other right now. Sander seemed content to linger in the silence. He rested his head on the brick behind him and looked out across the Great Lake, glimmering in the sunlight.

“When does it end?” said Robbe, at the same time as Sander said, “It’s much nicer up here at night.”

Sander turned from the window. “You first.”

“Oh, no, you can—”

“You first.”

“Uh, okay.” Robbe wrung his hands and wiped them on his pantlegs. “I wanted to know when it ends. The whole fake-dating thing. Like, do we pick a time, or—”

“Oh, I know that. Given it some thought.” Sander ran a perfect hand through his perfect hair. Not perfect—wow, Robbe really had to stop thinking shit like that, about how perfect Sander was. Every time he snuck another glance, there was another little detail that made Sander that much more striking. “Britt will just jump back in the second you’re out of the picture. End of term’s only a month away. She lives too far to follow me home, so I think that’s our best bet.”

A whole month. A whole motherfucking month. Robbe didn’t know if the boys could handle the responsibility of something that lasted that long. He didn’t know if he had it in himself.

“Or until one of us finds someone better,” Sander added.

Maybe not a month.

Not much to say after that.

“My mother is sick,” Robbe tried. The hard-hitting stuff was better material, more trust-building. Yes, Sander could use it against him, but Sander didn’t strike him as that kind of person. “Sick in the head. It’s passed genetically, so if I don’t get it, my kids probably will. Is that enough?”

He took Sander’s lack of response as an affirmative.

Robbe counted to three hundred again on the windowsill before carefully getting down. Sander probably wanted to be left alone with his music, like he’d wanted last night. It would be rude to stick around, Robbe reasoned. And he didn’t have infinite free time. He needed to catch someone from his Potions class to get the notes if he was going to keep his outstanding.

“I’m off,” he announced. “You have detention at five.”

“I’m not sitting for that,” said Sander. Other students began to push their way up the stairs for their astronomy class. “I’m doing you a service.”

“Filch will see you then.”

Robbe headed to the left side of the staircase for the trip down, but Sander reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him into a smooth kiss. Like the lap of a wave on the shore. Robbe didn’t see Britt around. Noor would be her Charms class until five. He cast a passing glance at the students milling around the classroom doors, looking for someone Sander needed to convince.

“That one was for the fans,” said Sander. “I’ll see you at dinner?”

“You’ll see me,” Robbe replied. He had to hide his face on the way to his next class so that Sander didn’t see the blush creeping up his cheeks.

#sobbe #robbe ijzermans #sander driesen #sander x robbe #wtfock #i stopped watching after wtfockdown when things got messed up #so please forgive any inconsistancies #i have created a better timeline #hogwarts au #fake dating #my writing #fic request

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hopelessromanticvirgo · 4 years

Text

Ground Control To Us

Sobbe social media au 7.10

Chapter 7.9

18.10.2020

Robbe is late.

He is two minutes late and no matter how much that fact worries Sander, he doesn't want to make it like it's a big deal, even if it really is for him. He can definitely wait but the thought of him not showing up makes his head spin and he can't stand still. He keeps nervously shifting on his legs and looking around, wanting and waiting to catch a glimpse of Robbe's brown hair somewhere but he's not here.

Not only the weather is too hot to even breath in, the excitement and the nervousness is making him more sweaty, he keeps brushing his palms down on his jeans.

He's not proud but he changed into eight different outfits this morning, thinking nothing was good enough but when Senne got tired of saying "it looks fine. The other one looked fine too" all the time, he literally dragged and kicked him out of the apartment so he couldn't change his clothes anymore. He texted Robbe when he left the home and he wanted to text him again to let him know that he's already here but he didn't get a reply before and now he doesn't want to seem that desperate, even if he's the definition of desperation.

Sander can't think positive and is sure that Robbe changed his mind. He knew this would happen but he was hoping that one time in his life, everything would go as he planned then out but of course, the world had a very different intention.

It's been four minutes, he's definitely not coming now.

Sander doesn't want to fell that bad since he predicted it would happen but he can't help it. He feels all his hopes and dreams are crushing down and he can't do anything but to watch it unfold.

He feels extremely uncomfortable but he decide not to give up yet, so he stays, but doesn't knows for how long.

But it doesn't really matter, since he will always stay, if there is a chance for him and Robbe to work, he's not walking away.

Meanwhile, Sander doesn't know that Robbe has been there for more than an hour already. He couldn't stay at home, too nervous, couldn't stop pacing in his room.

He has been staring at his watch, cursing how slow the time was going and also cursing it for going faster than he liked, he needed more time to get ready to see him, but he knew, all the time in this world, wouldn't be enough for him.

He still felt like this whole thing was a joke, somebody else pranking him, or even Sander, messing with him and using his vulnerability against him and no matter how much he didn't want to believe that, it was a possibility, he really didn't know this person as much as he thought he did.

Maybe he was going to stood him up, watch him wait for Sander to show up for hours but a little part of him was still judging his way of thinking and wondering if Sander'd really come so he stayed.

But all this thoughts and doubts were cleared when he saw him, walking towards the address he sent to Robbe.

The brunet's mind shut down. It wasn't the first time he was seeing him in real life but now everything was too real.

He came here for Robbe and that thought alone was so crazy, Robbe felt he was losing his mind.

He was here and he was breathtaking. Robbe has no idea how he will be able to talk normally to him, without fainting or passing out.

Robbe fortunately was sitting down closer to their destination but he was almost impossible to notice from the other side of the street since a building was keeping him from being seen.

But he could see clearly, how Sander turned around and started look for him with his eyes, leaning against the wall with his phone in his hands.

Robbe feels and hears his heart beating against his chest and that's the moment when he realizes that he can't do it, can't meet him.He already saw and made sure that all of this, everything they were doing, was real, now he didn't have to show up, did he?

He's sure, Sander would understand but sitting here, so close to him, watching like a stalker, seeing how worried he got and how he was looking at each person that passed by, Robbe felt extremely guilty.

He was finally here and Robbe was doing everything to not see him personally. Wasn't this his dream? Wasn't this everything he always wanted?

He knew he should have gotten up and walked up to him but he couldn't, so he stayed glued to that one place like a nail into a wall.

And he waited. And watched.

The time passed, and Sander waited as well.

But after almost 40 minutes, he gave up and looked around one more time, looking quite upset and disappointed and started walking away.

Fire alarmed started going off in Robbe's head and before he even knew what he was doing, he was already running after him, forgetting about everything else.

Maybe it was him, running for the chance the universe gave him and taking it. Or maybe it was him, running after Sander because he couldn't bear the thought that he made him upset and hurt him.

Maybe it was him, running because he was in love.

Whatever the reason was, it didn't matter.

What did matter was that Robbe had some kind of power inside him and he used all of them to call out Sander's name when he was five or six feet away from him, which made the other boy stop and turn around slowly, as if he wasn't believing his ears.

And Robbe doesn't believe his ears as well.

"H-hi." He breathed out, standing so close to him now that he could see his face so clearly, see the right shade of his skin and the color of his eyes. He had to look up a little bit since he was taller than Robbe but he was here, right in front of him, looking beautiful than ever, looking more perfect than anything Robbe could imagine and he has never felt happier and more insecure than right at this moment.

"Hi." Sander answered back and Robbe felt naked under his gaze, the way he looked him up and down felt so personal and special.

Robbe didn't know how he was still managing to stand and not collapse from his emotions. It must be the adrenaline rush.

"I'm sorry. I - " He couldn't just stay silent now, he had to say that he didn't think of leaving Sander and not showing up.

"It's alright. You don't have to explain. I thought you wouldn't come." God, his voice. Robbe got quite used to hearing his voice but hearing it now was doing things to him, making him feel weak in his legs.

"No. I was here but I couldn't find the courage to come up to you but then I saw you leaving and I couldn't let you just walk away now and I - " he stopped and finally looked up to his face. Sander was already looking at him, has never looked away from his eyes.

"Fuck." Robbe whispered. He definitely didn't know what to say or think or do. He just turned into a stone, very emotional stone who couldn't figure out what to do to help himself relive some of the feelings he had.

"Can I hug you?" He let it slip from his mouth and watched how Sander's whole face lit up and decide that if this was the last thing he'd see, he'd gladly take the chance and never look back.

Sander took a step closer to him and put his arms around him so tightly and put him so close to his chest that Robbe could smell which type of shampoo he used and he started shaking. At first, he was numb, now somehow he forgot how to move his body muscles but then when he felt the boy put his head down on his shoulder, it just hit him, what was going on and where he was and he wrapped his arms around him quickly, his fingers clutching his shirt, trying to pull him closer and closer, breathing him in and out, afraid that he'd disappear any second now and Robbe would do anything than let him go out of his grasp.

He doesn't know how long they stayed like this but Robbe definitely wasn't complaining, he was ready to even die in this moment, when he finally got everything he ever wanted.

He felt Sander pulling away but didn't let him, pulled him ever closer if that was even possible, which made the older boy giggle and after a while, Robbe felt his fingers slip in his hair and he closed his eyes.

Is this what heaven felt like, since Robbe is sure, he has never felt anything like this before in his life. He felt his eyes getting wet even under his eyelids and tried to control his body and calm his self down as much as it was physically possible.

When Robbe finally decided that they have been stuck in this position too long and no matter how much he didn't want to, he pulled away and looked at him and smiled, showing off his dimples and whispered "hi."

Sander smiled too and shook his head a little bit, put his head down and said "hi" back after he looked up to him.

Robbe couldn't calm down his heart beating for the rest of the day.

29.10.2020

"They keep getting on my nerves but I've already decided. I'm continuing my art education and if they want my music career, they just have to deal with it. I'm an adult and I think I have a choice about what I want to do or not."

They were sitting in a cafe. Cafe Sander chose and always goes to since it's more private place and not everybody can get in. They have already been here last time and now when the person at the front door told him that he already wrote Robbe's name down as another guest, aka, somebody who could just come in whenever he wanted, Robbe felt his blood got cold in his whole body in a very good way. He's getting used to it and Sander is pretty much, very helping since they have almost been seeing each other every other day, sometimes even for an hour and sometimes for the whole day.

Sometimes Robbe would forget who he was talking to, it felt like a normal person and then it would hit him and he'd start getting nervous all over again. Sander noticed that a while ago and told him to loosen up, and Robbe is trying so hard to do so.

"What about the albums and concerts?" The environment around them was so nice and calm, they were sitting by a small table near the window, they ordered coffee and brownies and Sander even remembered when Robbe said that he'd give up sweet coffee for him and even dared to tease him about it when the waiter came and Robbe blushed so hard that he's sure everyone there could see it, but in the end, he ordered his usual order, which made Sander smirk and Robbe changed the subject as fast as possible.

He was listening so closely to everything he had to say, every story he told him and Sander was sharing so much with him, so openly, Robbe felt pretty special.

Sander was doing more talking and Robbe was grateful for that, he was more interested in finding out everything sander would say to him than telling him his boring life story and no matter how much Sander tried to get him to open up, he just didn't want to, not because he didn't want to share stuff with him, quite the opposite actually, he just wanted to know more about him so they did just that.

Robbe could see his phone lit up every second. He was suppose to meet with the guys and he felt very guilty about how much he was blowing them off to see Sander but could anyone blame him?

"I will still continue it, just also study art you know?" He looked so passionate while talking about his art that Robbe couldn't fight off a smile on his face.

"I think that's the best plan. You get to do what you want and everyone is happy."

Sander was looking at him with something in his eyes, Robbe couldn't explain. That gaze got stronger and stronger after their each meeting up, Robbe felt exposed and appreciated. He never wanted to make that feeling go away.

"Oh, not everybody is happy about it." That made Robbe's dumb smile freeze.

"Are your parents still giving you hard time about it?" He chose his words carefully, didn't want to put his nose in Sander's private life more than he already has but the boy didn't seem to mind at all.

"They are but they will get over it. Eventually." The worry was still presented on Robbe's face but when he said "at least you're happy" and saw how Sander smiled at that, he was sure, he'd never get over this boy.

This person would be the death of him and Robbe is more than ready to sign the deal with the devil.

"Oh, I'm very happy." He gave him one of his cheesiest grin and took a sip from his coffee, and Robbe had to look away, this sight in front of him was too much to handle for his poor and fragile heart.

He had it very, very bad but wouldn't change a thing. He smiled again, dumbfounded.

Looked at Sander from the corner of his eyes, pretending to look out of the window, who was already staring at him.

He was always staring which made Robbe shudder under his gaze.

That lovely, longing gaze that Robbe can't seem to run away from, not that he wants to.

"I'm happy that you're happy."

And he really was. Robbe was extremely happy, so happy that he felt like he'd explode.

He tried to hide his smile by swallowing his lips but wasn't able to.

Nothing could stop him from smiling and it was obvious.

04.11.2020

This is a date. Or at least Sander wants it to be a date.

The thing is that he desperately wants this day to go and work out since he spent a lot of time on it.

When he first told Senne that he needed to take his car, the boy slammed his room's door right in front of his face. Sander counted that as a success. Then he mentioned it again at the dinner and when Senne realized that he was really serious, he started hysterical laughing and couldn't stop for a few minutes.

Sander has tried learning how to drive in the past.

Tried but failed.

Then he tried again, and also failed and realized, the car just wasn't for him. But after he saw what was on the theaters and also sent Robbe the name of the film and he said that he has been waiting for this movie to come out for some time now, it was already decided, Sander would try it again one more time.

Senne didn't agree with him and he didn't have time to take private driving lessons so after he literally begged and kneeled for him, his friend finally gave in. But when he found out that he had to learn how to drive properly in less than a week, he threw him out of the car.

They tried it next day as well. And Sander was so bad, Senne tried to put it nicely but after a while, he couldn't hold his emotions in so he started straight up roasting and yelling at him, not only Sander was terrible, he was also messing up Senne's car and his friend was more worried about his vehicle than his date. All Sander could hear this days was "No. Stop, not like that. You're not supposed to push it like that. Fuck. Slow down. Now push it. Change it. It's not your side of the road. Turn around. You're not suppose to go there. Can't you at least start the car without my instructions? Just push the button, it's easy. Get out. Get the fuck out. I'm gonna kill my self. Now, slow and steady. You have to turn it all the way around. Fuck, don't hit the sidewalk. Careful. Open it. Look in the mirrors, they aren't there for aesthetic. Stop gripping it like that. Look out. Press the brake. Stop the damn car. Get out, don't let me see you for the rest of the day." And all over again the each day until they were suppose to meet.

Sander can't blame Senne, no matter how much he complained, he did his best and Sander is more than grateful. But he knows, he will mess up one way or another and he's already getting ready for the embarrassment.

Senne tried everything to get him to change his mind about taking his car but in the end, he hesitantly gave him the keys and made him promise that if he broke or scratched his car, he'd buy a new one for him. Sander took it from him with shaky fingers. It was the first time he'd have to drive alone and it was also first time he'd have to take Robbe to drive-in movie theaters and not only he still doesn't know how to park the car properly and the whole point of drive-ins are to park the car at the right place and he was also meeting up with Robbe and he couldn't just not drive there.

He made Senne call him and was on a speaker just to be an emotional support for him until he'd get to Robbe's home and he almost hit the car in front of him while he was stopping but he stayed quiet so Senne wouldn't jump from his phone. And when he saw Robbe coming on his way, he hang up.

It would be a very long night. It was already dark out and that was making the situation ten times harder for Sander but it was too late to back out now.

Robbe opened the passenger door and sat down beside him, after they said their greetings and Sander was getting emotionally ready to start the car, he noticed Robbe's gaze on his face, mischief in his eyes and asked "what?"

"Nothing." He answered but didn't look away. Not that Sander didn't like when Robbe was looking at him but he felt pressured while somebody was looking at him work and now, when he was extremely nervous, he couldn't just drive with him watching his every move.

"Something is up, just say it." He looked right at him now, turned his head.

Robbe giggled and stayed silent which made Sander more worried, was something on his face, he started wondering.

"Say it." His panicked voice made Robbe laugh and he finally started talking.

"It's just - I thought you didn't know how to drive." And at that, Sander's eyes went wide and he started nervously cough-laughing.

"Yeah I - " he scratched the back of his neck and looked away.

"I learnt it - a while a-ago. So don't judge me that harshly please." He felt his face started burning.

"As if I'd dare and judge you." He isn't sure if Robbe's teasing manner is making him more nervous or more excited, probably both.

"O-okay." He breathed out and started the car. He was about to push the gas when he felt a hand on his shoulder and looked at Robbe smiling at him warmly, and gave him a reasonable nod.

"Don't worry, okay? You don't have to impress me or anything. You don't need to, I'm sure you must already know. You're breathing and I'm already impressed."

How can he calmly drive after hearing this and not crash into something?

"You're too pure for this world." He whispered and turned away, now starting the car for real and he saw how big Robbe's smile was from the corner of his eyes and how his dimples were almost pull up at his eyes and smiled himself.

And in the end, the day went better than he imagined. He needed 9 minutes to park his car right at their place, he almost hit two cars and definitely went on a sidewalk when he dropped Robbe off and that boy couldn't stop giggling all night which made Sander so happy, he forgot about anything.

Of course he didn't pay any attention to the movie, how could he when Robbe was sitting here, so beautiful, filled with happiness and he couldn't stop staring at him, he's sure Robbe noticed but didn't say anything else. He was somewhat interested in the movie and was making comments about it which Sander would answer with a little hum or "yeah."

One time Robbe looked at him and whispered "what?" His cheeks red all night long.

"Nothing. You're just very pretty."

12.11.2020

"You knew?"

"I'm not as dumb as you think." Robbe laughed and looked at him.

They were playing some kind of 20 questions game, asking each other questions they wanted to know the answer to. They were sitting on a grass, at some old abandon park where not a lot of people went and Robbe just asked him if he made the mural and to say that Sander was shocked, was an understatement.

"Did you know it from the beginning? You told me about somebody else who you thought made it, did you lie to me?"

"No. I had a doubt but obviously it was too crazy thought to even consider." And how the tables have turned now.

The boys haven't seen each other that often past week since Sander was getting ready for his concert and had rehearses every day.

He didn't want to admit how much he missed spending time with Robbe but now, that they were finally reunited, he felt amazing, calm. They still called each other, every night, falling asleep with listening to each other's voices and Sander realized, he was getting too attached. When he couldn't wait until it would get dark for him to call Robbe, or he'd desperately look in his calendar to see when they were suppose to meet, he knew he was too far gone for his boy and never wanted to go back to the time when he didn't know him. It also felt so insane, how they weren't like this in the past, how there was a time when Sander had no idea who this precious boy was.

How there were probably universes where he still didn't know Robbe, and how glad he was that he was living in this one.

"Well, I guess, surprise?" Robbe laughed again and pushed him off playfully then he got serious and asked "why did you do it?"

Sander looked at him with a confused face and shrugged his shoulders.

"It's it obvious? I liked you, and I still do."

Robbe stayed silent for a few minutes, playing with his fingers, deep in thoughts.

"Can I ask you another question?"

"Isn't it my turn?" Sander smirked at him and faced the blue, unclouded sky.

"You can ask two questions later."

"Sure. What do you want to know?"

"Did you see me that day at the skate park?" Sander stopped breathing for a few seconds, his mind going wild, racing.

He thought of pretending he didn't know what he was talking about but in the end, remembered that he made a promise that he'd only tell the truth to Robbe now so he nodded his head which made Robbe ask another question.

"Did you know what I looked like then? Did you know it was me?"

To which, Sander nodded again, guilty.

"Does it makes you feel weird?" He asked, afraid that Robbe would get mad at him or just walk away.

"Honestly, it makes me feel important." He confessed after a while and looked at Sander in the eyes.

"But you are, Robbe. You're very important.

"They stayed there and continued talking until late at night, then Sander walked Robbe back to his place, and hugged him goodbye.

It was a very peaceful day.

20.11.2020

"Get ready to be mind-blown" That's what Sander told him right before he walked up on the stage and Robbe is sure, he meant every word and he wasn't ready at all.

Sander told him that he could take his friends with him if he wanted but Robbe politely refused, saying that his friends didn't know about them, whatever they were, probably friends hoping to be more, but in reality, he didn't want anybody else to have Sander's name on the vip access ticket, hanging on their necks. He felt he was acting possessive, which he was but didn't want to admit it.

He also didn't know what to expect, Sander told him that he wished he wouldn't get lonely waiting for him or bored and Robbe almost had a fight with him that he even dared to say that Robbe would get bored, as if it wasn't like he was planning and wanting to be on Sander's concert almost his whole life.

Sander took him with him and just because he had to be there earlier than the concert would start, which was 8 pm, Robbe was also there, having his first and best experience in his life. Sander has sung to him a few times, so it wasn't like he'd hear him sing in real life for the first time but he was so excited, his whole body was shaking from the happiness.

He has already met Senne a few times before so when Sander was checking his sounds, Senne was hanging out with him, he was so fun to be around and Robbe could clearly see why those two were best friends.

Then the concert started and he realized that he indeed wasn't an only person on Sander's vip list. Obviously, there were his parents, which he knew from the pictures but seeing them now, it was really obvious Sander was their son. He looked so much like them, that Robbe was so close to actually going up and saying thank you to them for creating their kid. He laughed at the thought, Sander would love it if he really did that.

Another thing which annoyed him was how, other than people he didn't know, who had Sander's vip necklace, there was also Britt, walking around with her two friends, he knew from the Instagram, with his name on her neck.

Robbe has never seen her up close and damn, she was very gorgeous. She had a very tight silver dress on which was going down to her knees, her shoulders visible and her blonde hair, straighten.

All this time, he has never even once thought of Britt, not after their last encounter on the social media and all of a sudden, everything he knew about their relationship came rushing to the surface of his brain.

He already knew that they were good friends but couldn't help but feel upset about her being here, like he was.

It made him feel ordinary, and no matter how much he knew he was just an ordinary boy, Sander always tries to make him feel special, and seeing her now made him realized that he still didn't get any different treatment and this selfish thought killed him in the heart.

He remembered every photo or video they have ever posted when they were dating, or every rumor he has ever heard, one was even so crazy that the publicity thought they broke up because Britt was pregnant and having a kid at a such young age would ruin Sander's career. Obviously, Robbe hasn't believe them but for everybody to think that, meant they were pretty close.

Why wouldn't they? When you're dating somebody for that long, as Sander would say, you have to go all the way or no way.

Robbe couldn't help but feel somebody clutching his heart and making him breath uneasily. He doesn't have any right to be jealous, but looking at her here, jumping up and down while listening to his ex's concert, was making him think not so many good things.

Robbe tried getting his mind off of that and he succeed, he stood as close to the stage to watch him and he had an amazing time.

Seeing Sander there, on the stage and watching how familiar this was for him, and how he looked like he was born for this, made Robbe realize why his manager was fighting so hard for Sander to only continue and focus on his music career.

This, singing and being on the stage, was Sander's, and everybody could see that.

Robbe didn't miss the way he kept looking back at him and made sure if he was watching, and of course Robbe was watching his every move, listening to his every note, knowing all the lyrics to each of his songs but staying quiet, just listening to him sing.

He had to admit, Sander and Senne were a good due, and they, with the help of a few people put out a fire and the audience went crazy.

And Robbe felt on a cloud infinite.

At the very end, Sander sang his latest and recent song, the song Robbe didn't know about and kept looking at him, as if he was singing this for him and Robbe blushed so hard and he was so relieved that nobody here, other than the boys on the stage, knew who he was and who he was to Sander.

But even Robbe, himself didn't know who he really was to Sander.

And when they finished their concert with the song Sander wrote for Robbe, using his own messages as lyrics, Robbe really was sure that he'd drop dead on the hard floor.

Is this really a real life, he wondered, or is this a dream, a fantasy?

He will never, ever get over this, he will never get over how every few minutes, Sander would look back at him and smiled, or even winked.

Would this always be like this? He'd give up everything he ever owned and so much more for this to be always like this.

The people's screaming was making him deaf but he couldn't really blame them, he's silent only because he's with Sander's friends and family. He had no idea if any of them knew who he was but when Sander's mom walked up to him and asked him if he was Robbe, then he guessed that Sander must have said something about him with them.

"I am." He smiled, showed of his teeth and dimples, and got a warming smile in return too.

"It's a pleasure. I've heard a lot of great things about you."

What things? He wanted to ask and knew but couldn't dare.

Somebody called her name and she turned around and said "I'll be there in a moment." Then looked at Robbe one more time, put her hand on his arm.

"You really make my son happy, thank you for that. I got to go now but I hope we will meet each other soon again." And left him after giving him another smile which made it clear, from whom Sander got his own.

He didn't know which fact was the crazier, the fact that Sander told his parents about him, or the fact that his mom literally just gave them her blessing without even saying that word.

Sander's mom thanked him, she liked him and welcomed him in her family, or that's what it seemed like.

He didn't have a lot of time to think about that since the concert was over and the boys were walking out of the stage. Even if he was standing the closest to the stage, somebody behind him run up and went in front of him, he saw that it was Britt and as soon as Sander walked out, she jumped on him and wrapped her arms around him so tightly that Sander had to put his palm on a wall next to him so he wouldn't fall off and then he laughed and put his arms around her as well.

Robbe didn't want to think about that but the only thought in his head was that Sander hugged her exactly the way he hugged him.

Maybe he hugs everybody like that.

He saw how Sander whispered something in her ear that made her crack up and throw her head back.

After they pulled away, they exchanged some words and then Senne walked out and she went up to him instead, probably just to congratulate him and tell him what a great show they pulled.

People went up to Sander and after a few minutes of him, hugging everybody else and having a small talk with them, he finally saw Robbe standing there and walked up to him.

He was sweaty and out of breath, but still managed to win Robbe's heart over again with his smile.

"Hey stranger." He said and winked at him, which automatically made Robbe smiled, no matter how upset he was to see him with Britt just a moment ago.

"Hey. You were amazing out there." He didn't say all the compliments he wanted to, Sander didn't deserve him after that hug, Robbe was acting jealous for no reason but in his mind, it wasn't wrong to act this way at all.

Obvious to Robbe's discomfort and sadness, he thanked him and took his hand, started walking away and dragged him with him.

Sander was really amazing on the stage, and this night was something Robbe will never forget.

It was perfect.

He was perfect. And Robbe still can't believe he was able to see all that unfold in real life with his own two eyes.

Sander apparently dragged him back to the backstage 'getting ready' area. And pushed him inside, closed the door.

The whole room screamed 'Sander' and Robbe thought that this must be his own, private place.

Robbe was looking around the room when he saw how Sander took off his shirt from the corner of his eyes and made his self turn around properly so he wouldn't have to look at him no matter how much he wanted to. Instead he looked at the guitars and clothes around the room and a very big mirror, and some stuff Sander had in here.

His mind was his biggest enemy and he realized it when the thought of Sander, dragging Britt back to here after his concert to fuck her was filling and clouding his head.

Why is he doing this to his self?

His mood kept dropping down on the floor as more time passed, and it wasn't fair since he was the happiest he has ever been just a few moments ago.

Had they made out of the couch before? Had they kissed against the door? �� Had they locked up in here for hours after the concert and only left after the midnight?

He tried shutting down his thoughts but they keep rushing and rushing in.

Then he felt the boy stood next to him.

Robbe doesn't know if he had seen his face and realized it, or if he was a mind reader but Sander made him turn around, looked at him.

"I have never taken anyone in here in the past, you're the first and only one."

Before Robbe had a chance to answer, he put his arm in front of him and took off his bracelet.

Robbe knew and recognized that bracelet, Sander had talked about it in his videos and knew how much it meant for Sander and he knew what he was going to say about it before he even did it.

"This is my lucky bracelet. I always put it on, on my concerts and take them off after it."

Robbe didn't know why he was telling him all this and in here.

Sander probably saw his confusion face and decide to continue.

He took Robbe's palm in his hand and put the bracelet in it. Robbe looked down at it, couldn't believe what he thought was happening.

"I want to give it to you, if you will take it." And he looked at him dead in the eyes, and Robbe has never seen him that serious before, not even when he was talking about his illness, and that made his eyes wide.

"W-what? But, Sander. This is your lucky bracelet, I know you don't ever sing on concerts without it and it must mean so much for you, how can you even - "

"I don't need any luck anymore. I have you, don't I?"

Of course, he had Robbe.

He had Robbe even before he knew who he was.

He had Robbe right after Robbe heard his voice for the first time in his life.

You do, he wanted do say, I'm yours, take me, have me however you want, he wanted to add.

But decided to stay silent, only asking "are you sure?" after a while.

"I'm sure. I mean - do you not like it?" The worry lines between his forehead was making him seem so adorable, Robbe only wanted to kiss them all over.

"Are you kidding me? How do you even dare to ask me that? Of course I like it, I love it. This means so much for me and I - " Sander shut him up by putting his index finger on his lips and Robbe looked up at him.

"Stop thanking me. First it was constantly saying sorry all the time, now this." He smiled and put the bracelet on his arm. Robbe looked down at it on his wrist and also at the hand which was still holding his arm.

"But what about your lucky charm?" He asked.

Sander smiled at him and came closer which made Robbe's heart beat so fast that it was ready to jump out of his skin.

He put his face so close to him that Robbe closed his eyes and felt his lips on his cheek seconds after.

Sander pulled away but didn't let go of his hand.

Robbe opened his eyes and saw him, looking down at their fingers, which were still holding each other.

"I don't need any lucky charm. I have you, that's more than enough. Now, come." And pulled blushing and smiling Robbe out of the room.

03.12.2020

When Sander told Robbe that he wasn't alone, coming to meet up with him, Robbe got a little worried.

Sander also added "I had no choice" on his previous text message and didn't reply to him after that.

But Robbe found out what he meant by that soon when he saw Sander coming up to him while holding a little kid's hand in his left hand and a little bag in his right.

When they stopped in front of Robbe, the boy kneeled down.

"Hey, little buddy. What's your name?" The kid looked up at Sander, silently asking if it was to say and after Sander nodded slowly, smiling down at him, the kid said.

"I'm Theodore."

"Well, hi, Theodore. I'm Robbe. It's nice to meet you."

"I just have to take care of him for like an hour and then we can meet up with his mom, okay? I'm so sorry, she didn't have anybody to leave him with and I wanted to help her - "

"Sander, you don't have to explain. It's okay. I'm so happy I got to meet the person who makes you lose your mind and wants to jump from the building." He smiled and got up on his feet.

"Theo will be a good kid today, won't he?" Sander asked playfully and whispered "he's in a good mood" to Robbe and they started walking.

Robbe couldn't help but stare at them. Sander was so close to that little boy, like they were in a little bubble together.

Robbe and Sander were talking but at the same time, Theo was asking him questions, like "what's this?" And Sander would answer automatically.

"Are we going to see mommy?" Theo asked.

"Yes we are. She will meet us soon."

"Soon?"

"Uh-Huh. So after that, he took her back to his place and they had the biggest fight, imagine how horrible it must have been that the neighbors called the police because of the noises and breaking objects and - " Sander was telling him about Theo's mom and her boyfriend at the same time.

"Look, what a cute dog."

"Yeah, it's very cute. Look, how he's playing with his friend?" And continued talking to Robbe and switching the personalities like it wasn't a big deal at all "sometimes he checks up on him, but he just don't really care, you know? It's so sad since she really loved him but - "

"Sander, wait. I have something - " They stopped and Sander looked down at whatever Theo was telling him.

"What is it? Show me." Theo had his finger in his hand and was looking at it closely, pulling in his eyebrows. Sander took his finger and examined it.

Robbe almost melted at the sight in front of him, it was so cute to see how vulnerable and sweet and caring Sander was with that kid.

"It's nothing. There's nothing there." He took his hand again and continued walking.

"I want to go to the park."

"Let's ask your mom when we see her."

"Ask mom?"

"Yep."

"And then go?"

"Yeah."

"Go to the park?"

"Yeah."

"Will Robbe come too?" The boy and looked up at him and asked which made Robbe so happy.

"I don't know, ask him." Sander told him.

Theo asked him directly now, which made Robbe nod his head and smile.

They meet up with her mom after an hour or so and she thanked him so much and apologized of keeping Sander busy while he was on a date when he saw Robbe with him.

Sander said that it was more than alright, didn't correct her about the date thing, kissed and hugged Theo and they left together.

Theo started crying when they were going away but Sander promised him that he's see him later and calmed him down.

Robbe had the biggest smile while watching that.

Theo also said a goodbye to Robbe and blowed him a kiss, which made the brunet's heart filled with adoration and love.

"He must really love you." Robbe said after they weren't visible anymore.

"I think I'm the closest he has to a father." He put his body closer to Robbe, their arms were touching while they were walking together which was sending electricity in Robbe's body.

"No, I think you're more like his best friend." Robbe looked down at their arms and when he was about to pull away a little bit, afraid that he was make Sander uncomfortable, the boy entwined their fingers together. And Robbe got goosebumps all over his skin.

"Yeah, that too. Believe it or not, he's also my best friend in some kind of way." He got even closer to him and looked at him, his face was only ten centimeters away.

"Ohh, does Senne has a competition?" Robbe teased and Sander laughed at that.

"Oh, I'm sure Theo would beat him the title of my best friend."

"I'm sure he would."

14.12.2020

Robbe doesn't know how they got in this situation and position.

They are sitting on the bench, well, Robbe is sitting and Sander is laying down with his head on Robbe's legs, his eyes closed, one of his legs bent and the other straight in front of him.

"Your knees are shaking. Sander told him as a matter of fact and Robbe's ears got hot after hearing.

"I know." He mumbled.

"Give me your hand." Sander looked up at him and it didn't felt fair, how Robbe had nowhere to run from his gaze and was obligated to look down at his beautiful green eyes.

"Why?"

"Because I want to hold it." And he took it in his hand, started playing with his fingers.

Robbe had to admit, they have been getting closer and closer this past few weeks, fast few months actually, to the point where Sander holding his hand, or sitting this close to him, or even putting his arm around his shoulder was and felt normal.

And Robbe really doesn't know how they got to that point of their relationship, how fast they were they were changing blush emojis to kissy emojis on their phones, or even hearts, which Robbe found out a very interesting fact about.

Apparently Sander uses different kind and color of hearts while texting. He uses green with somebody he used to be close with but now they don't hang out that much. He uses yellow with somebody he wants to impress. Orange with somebody he doesn't like. Black with his art friends. Heart with a bow ties is with somebody he just really hates. And blue with somebody who is special for him. And he just doesn't use other colors. Sometimes purple if he's unsure of what to feel about the person he's texting with.

He rarely uses red since it means real love for him but that's the only color of heart he has been using for Robbe, it makes him smile every time he sees it.

Robbe is definitely in love. But he can't speak much about Sander.

Well, he has been open about his feelings and he has been spoiling Robbe with presents or compliments but he hasn't said anything directly, he has mentioned once or twice that he likes Robbe but that's it.

Sander is probably afraid of going in deep or saying something Robbe isn't comfortable enough to hear yet and he adores Sander and is thankful for that but he's just desperate.

All this cute little dates and meeting ups are amazing but in this kind of moments, like now, when Sander is so close, he's touching him, making him feel loved and Robbe still doesn't know what they are is making him want to cry.

He's killing him, slowly and adorably, enjoying every second of it and Robbe is falling, somewhere, in a very long black hole and when he's sure that he has finally gotten to the place he has to come to a stop, the gravity starts working again and he's going down and down, deeper and deeper, he can't see the surface anymore for a very long time now.

He's terrified that Sander will leave him there, stuck, devastated but one can only hope that the things will start to get clearer.

A year ago, he would have never thought that he'd even talk to him, six months ago, he never thought that he'd meet him, two months ago, he's never thought that Sander would have his head on his lap and his palm in his hand but here they were.

The world definitely had a way to surprise him, always.

Robbe looked down at his peaceful and angelic face.

Robbe really wants to touch his hair but he isn't daring it yet. He's not the confident one in the relationship.

In general, he hugged Sander by his self six times, kissed his cheek once, took his hand in his own twice, while Sander was almost all over him, with his hands and fingers wandering, in his hair, on his back, on his thigh, arms, hands, face.

After he found out that Robbe was comfortable with him being touchy, he didn't stop. Not that Robbe wanted him to.

He put his fingers close to his neck slowly, going in and out, didn't dare to touch it. Sander sensed his movement and opened his eyes, made Robbe feel like an exhibition in a museum because of the way the boy was looking at him.

Suddenly, he smiled and whispered "you can touch me. I don't bite. At least not if you won't ask me to." Which made Robbe put his head down, try to hide his face and by doing this, he went so deep that he put his forehead right against Sander's forehead. Not knowing what he was doing, he used his chance to slip his fingers in his soft hair and started massaging his scalp.

They stayed like this until Robbe got back to his previous position, now with his plan being successful, his fingers lost in white locks.

Robbe has no idea about how much time has passed since they got here, how many hours have they been together today.

He closed his eyes and started "walking" in his head, thoughts after thoughts developing and becoming one.

Sander has told him about it once, how sometimes he looks back at his thoughts and watches how each one changed to one another like a movie.

It definitely was very weird, and the way Sander's voice changed when he said it made Robbe realize that this person in front of him then, was a person Sander didn't let anybody see, only a few people.

A person who he was embarrassed about, a person he hated, a toxic, a maniac, crazy person he says he becomes and Robbe wants nothing more to make him see how wrong he is when he says all that stuff about his self.

How much he wishes to make Sander see him from Robbe's eyes, to make him see how special he is.

That was the Sander, the boy was afraid that would make Robbe run away but he was incorrect, this would be the person that would make him stay.

It took a lot of energy and time for Robbe to start accepting and communicating with Sander like a normal person. No matter how much time they spend talking, he still has that fan girl moments when he realizes who he's with and freaks out but they are getting more infrequent as he's getting to know the boy.

Believe it or not, Sander is normal. He has friends, he has problems he deals with, he has hobbies, he has a baggage and he's still perfect.

He's just a person.

A person Robbe loves and adores.

A person Robbe can't seem to live without now.

A person who has his head on his legs at the moment.

He opened his eyes when he felt Sander shift and was met with his eyes, staring down at him, his face close to his own. And he stayed there for a while, making sure Robbe wouldn't pull away and when he was certain that Robbe was definitely not moving, he put and touched Robbe's nose with his nose, moved it up and down slowly. Robbe felt a hot breath on his whole face, his heart about to burst out and when he finally felt Sander's lips on his own, he completely lost it.

Sander was always making him feel things he has never felt before but this was something he couldn't even explain.

He has imagined this so much that he's not proud but it felt greater than anything he has ever felt in his entire life. While his mind was closed for using for today, his body fortunately knew what to do and he wrapped his arms around him, kissing him back, pulling him closer to him.

The kiss wasn't long but it was passionate, teasing and breathtaking.

Basically, everything Sander was.

If Robbe knew kissing him felt like this, he'd jump on him when he has his first chance.

Sander pulled away, looking startled and scared, put his forehead against Robbe's and whispered: "I wanted to ask if I could kiss you but then decided against it and went for it."

Robbe doesn't know how he managed to say a word.

"I'm glad you did."

They stayed like this for a while, just looking and breathing in each other.

Then Robbe let out a whimper and took both of Sander's hands in his own. "Please don't lie to me, is this a dream?"

Sander looked at him sadly and filled with so much love, it was making Robbe weak and he was so happy he was sitting down.

"I don't know. Are your eyes open? Don't believe everything you might see."

The way Sander was always using his words against him, making him remember them.

But now, he wasn't upset, no, he was happy Sander remembered and appreciated them.

And he can't lie, it was a perfect time to say it.

"All I believe right now is that I see you and you're here." He whispered back, clutching his fingers so tightly now that they were getting white, Sander didn't mind or he didn't show it at least, Robbe was petrified he'd blink and Sander wouldn't be there anymore.

"You're right. I am and I'm not going anywhere. At least not without you."

Sander reassured him and he kissed him again.

Robbe went limp in his arms.

Chapter 8.1

#okay i just finished it #i dont care im posting #i literally spent the whole day on this #im not even kidding i think i only took three or four hours a break only because i was out #also this is my third time posting it since tumblr isnt letting me and its making me angry #i hope you all will like it #it could be better but i wanted to finish it as fast as possible #and im still pretty proud of how the whole chapter turned out #okay so #i think thats it #wtfock #wtfam #wtfock sobbe #sander driesen #robbe x sander #robbe ijzermans #sobbe #ground control to us #social media au

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inseongsfoxybae · 3 years

Text

Now and forever

Pairing: Boyfriend Yoo Taeyang + Female Reader x Best Friend Hwiyoung

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Warnings: Amnesia, mentions of drunkenness, break up

Words: 6,5k

Requested: Hi sunshine! First of all, congratulations on starting your blog and I can’t wait for what you’re going to write😚 Second, if it’s not a bother, as a fellow Fantasy, can I make a request for Hwiyoung? Like where the reader and Taeyang are dating, but the reader had an accident which caused her Amnesia, and then she starts remembering Hwiyoung? And whatever ending you feel is right you can do it🥰 Hope that wasn’t too much to ask for.. Although if that doesn’t bother you can I be🐣 anon? Thanks💖

Author's message: Dear 🐣 anon, I'm so sorry I took that long to deliver your request, but I want to say that it's finally here and I really enjoyed writing it. Hope you like it and feel free to send in a new request when you want. Thank you 😊❤️

P.S: As english is not my mother language, it may contain misspelled. Plus, sorry if there’s any other mistakes :)

Synopsis: Blurry memories and an old friend entered in your life again and now you have to decide where your heart lives: in an beautiful past or in an uncertain future.

A car accident has changed your life forever. Apparently, it was nothing too serious, but the strong impact on your head made you lost your memory completely and the doctors said it could last forever. Since then, the cute boy who has introduced himself as your boyfriend never left your side and, with your parents not being able to take care of you, he was the one responsible for you.

You tried to drive Taeyang away so many times for the past months, but now you finally starting to trust him and accepting his feelings, even if you’re not sure about your own feelings yet. Of course, he never pressured you about anything on your relationship, he just stayed with you and took care of your fragile being. He talks about your favorite things, shows some pictures and videos of your parents, friends and, of course, you too together, so you can know your beloved ones again little by little.

After several months struggling to back to your normal life, Taeyang finally succeeds in getting you out of the house. On a pleasant saturday morning, he was helping you to prepare some of your favorite dishes for a picnic while hummed sweetly a song he knows you used to love. After all the food is ready, you packed everything and leave your flat to the park right in front your building.

Taeyang found a nice place near the little lake of the park for you to have your first date after a long time, so you both set everything on the blanket and finally were able to spend some quality time together. Taeyang sat down next to you, your knees touching, but he knew he couldn't get closer than this yet, with you still assimilating your feelings and new life. You talked about that beautiful day while eating - the birds singing on the trees, the calm waters of the lake, the sound of children laughing. A little cherry blossom got stuck on your hair and Taeyang took it off delicately and put it on your small hands, using this chance to intertwine your fingers together. You looked up at thim with curious eyes and he whispered a soft “I love you”.

At that moment, a flash crossed your mind and you suddenly saw a strange face. Startled, you pulled your hands abruptly and your face got pale, your heart pounding hard on your chest. “Y/N, are you okay?”, Taeyang asked worried. “I-I’m okay… I just… I don’t know…”, you looked nervous all of a sudden and Taeyang thought it was about his confession, feeling a little upset. “Don’t worry, Tae. Something weird just passed through my mind, but I’m okay now”, you tried to comfort him. “Did you remember anything?”. “No, it was just a random optical illusion”. ”Are you sure? Wanna go home now?”, he asked started to packed the rest of the food you left. “No, Tae. Seriously, I’m fine. And you promised to take me to a walk on the beach, remember? I still want to go there”, you said holding his hands again. He gave you a little smile and you got all your things and took his car on your way to the beach.

When you get there, the summer breeze blew in your face and you couldn’t suppress a large smile at the feeling of the warm sand underneath your bare feet. Taeyang stared at you fondly and was caught out of guard when you looked at him, his cheeks blushing hard as you laugh at this cuteness. You then pushed him and stuck out your tongue, starting to run away from him. “Catch me if you can, silly!”, you screamed as he started to run behind you. “If I catch you, will you kiss me?”, he screamed back. “Maybe…”, you answered giggling. It gave him strength and, in a blink of a eye, he caught you, hugging you from behind. You both couldn’t stop laughing when he spun you around before turning your body to face him and cupping your cheeks. Your eyes met and he connected your lips in a slow soft kiss but still able to take your breath away while you melt between his arms.

As soon as you broke away for air and opened your eyes, another image flashed through your eyes with the same strange guy occupying Taeyang’s place in front of you. You suddenly felt dizzy and your vision blurred, almost falling if your boyfriend’s arms weren’t holding you strong. “Baby, what happened?”, Taeyang asked lifting your head. “Tae, I wanna go home now”, you answered breaking his embrace around you. Once you got in your apartment, you told Taeyang to leave you alone. He knew you needed some space and time to process everything, so he just obliged and went home tough he were too worried. You were not rejecting Taeyang, you were just too scared of what’s going on with your mind. “Who is that guy?”, “Why does he insist on appearing right in front of my eyes when I’m with Tae?”.

When you finally calmed down, hours later, you realized you didn’t say anything about the kiss to Taeyang and immediately text him.

Y/N: Hi, Tae. I’m sorry for what happened earlier. I think I still need some time to myself. But, please, don’’t worry. It’s not your fault. Hope you understand TT

He answered back right away.

T: Don’t worry with me, Y/N. Are you fine now?

Y/N: Yes, I’m feeling a little better and going to bed now.

T: Okay. You know you can call me anytime if you need something, right?

Y/N: I know, Tae. Thank you <3 Have a good night!

T: Sleep well, Y/N. See you again tomorrow?

Y/N: Sure. Bye :*

Y/N: P.S: I enjoyed the kiss, so don’t give on me yet, okay? ^.^

T: I definitely won’t ;)

~~~~

As days passing by, your strange visions seemed to be even more frequent and clear, like flashbacks of your life before the accident. Although you tried to disguise the discomfort they caused, Taeyang always noticed something was wrong with you and though he was the problem. “Y/N”, he called you one night when you were walking on the park. “Hm…”, you looked at him. “Won’t you tell me what’s wrong?”, he asked serious. You froze and your mind went blank. “I mean, we’re always together but it seems like you are so far away from me. You’re super affectionate at times, but change completely one minute later… Tell me what’s wrong so I can help you”, he continued. “Please, Y/N”, he insisted when you didn’t speak a word.

You couldn’t move a single muscle, your heart bit fast, your breath was heavy and you couldn't manage to say a single phrase. All you could that time was crying, sobbing, falling on your knees in a despair your boyfriend couldn't understand. You felt his strong arms embracing you and leaned in on his warm body, your sobbs causing you to shake hard against him. He guided you to sit on a bench and soothed you with small rubs on your back. When you recovered your breath, you managed to whisper a little “I’m sorry” for him. He just kissed your forehead and stayed quiet. Some minutes later, you start to talk again. “I’m having some flashbacks, Tae. Another guy that I don’t know appears on my mind everytime I’m with you and it scares me a lot”. “Why does it scare you?”, Taeyang tried to be strong and stable, but he was scared too. “I don’t even know... I’m just afraid of who he can be or mean to me”. Taeyang tensed around you, but still managed to hold you tighter. “Don’t think about it too much, okay? And I’m always here with you, so don’t worry”, he said trying to comforting you and himself.

Next morning, you were talking to your mom about these visions trying to get some help or advices.

Y/M: What’s he like?

Y/N: He’s a little shorter than Tae, with a long hair and a gummy smile. Do you know someone like this, mom?

Y/M: Of course I do, Y/N. His name is Kim Hwiyoung and he used to be your best friend when you were kids. But he just disappeared when you graduated on college.

Y/N: Why did he go away? And why I never saw a picture of him?

Y/M: No one know why he ran away nor where he lives now. And he never liked to take pictures, that’s right you probably have nothing with him. But maybe Taeyang can help you to find him now. Ask him.

Y/N: Mom, I can’t ask Tae to look for another guy for me.

Y/M: Why not? It’s not like you’re cheating on him. Go and ask him some help.

Y/N: Fine. I’ll try it.

When your boyfriend arrived at your house later that day, you decided to try it out. “Tae, I need you to take me to someone”, you speak in a nervous whisper. “Of course, baby. Who?”, he answered with a sweet smile. “Kim Hwiyoung”, you revealed and Taeyang froze. “Why him?”, he asked with a dark look after a few seconds. “He’s the one on my flashbacks and my mother said he was my best friend but ran away when we graduated. I need to see him now and try to discover why I’ve been having these visions. Do you know where he lives, right?”. Taeyang couldn’t answer, he barely couldn’t breath. He was nervous and lost in thoughts. Why him? Why now?. “Tae, do you know where Hwiyoung lives?”, you insisted catching his attention again. “No, not anymore”, he finally answered. “Does some of the guys know?”. “I don’t know, Y/N. We don’t talk with him in ages”. “Can you ask them? Please…”, you held his cold hands.

Taeyang reach out for his phone and called someone. After three lost calls, Chani finally answered. “What, hyung?”. “I need you to do me a favor. Now”, Taeyang talked serious. “What favor?”, Chani asked worried. “You know where Hwiyoung lives, right? Send me his address as fast as you can. I’m waiting for your message”, then he ended the call before Chani could speak anything. A couple of minutes later, Chani sent Hwiyoung’s address and added “Hope you won’t do any shit, hyung”. “Don’t worry. It’s for Y/N”, Taeyang simply answered and turned to you. “I got his address. Let’s go there now and back before nightfall”, he grabbed your hand and pulled you to the door. “Wait, Tae! Give me a time to get ready”, you whined. “Don’t worry, Y/N. I’m going with you and nothing bad will happen”, your boyfriend squeezed your hand. “I know, I’m just… nervous”, you whisper. “C'mon. Let’s get this over, huh?”, you nodded and he opened the door.

About an hour later, you arrived at a small building and got out of the car. “It’s here”, Taeyang said as you left out a nervous “yes”. He held your hand tight and knocked the door. Some seconds passed till a strange guy open it. “Hello, how can I help you?”, he asked a little surprised. “Hi, we’re looking for Kim Hwiyoung. Is he here?”, Taeyang said politely. “He is. What’s your name?”, at his answer you froze and your heart skipped a beat. “Tell him Yoo Taeyang wants to talk, please”, your boyfriend gave a small friendly smile at the guy. “Okay. You can wait at the lobby. I’ll tell him you’re here”. “Thank you”, Taeyang said and both of you entered the building. The room had a minimalist decoration with some instruments and polaroids hanging on the wall, and some soft music resonated through the doors. “It’s a studio”, you whispered to Taeyang. “Yes, he studied music on college and always wanted his own business. I think he got it”, he answered quietly. “Tae, why do you never talk about him?”, you asked suddenly curious. “I thought he was past. But seems he’s still a threat for us…”, Taeyang was cautious with his words. “Threat? What do you mean?”. Before he could answer, the guy appeared once again. “He’s a little busy now and asked what do you want”, he shyly said. “YAH, KIM HWIYOUNG! DO YOU REALLY THINK I’M THE ONE WHO WANTS TO TALK TO YOU? IT’S Y/N, YOU FOOL! Y/N IS HERE!”, Taeyang yelled high enough to any person on that building to hear, making you surprised and even more nervous.

At the mention of your name, on the other side of the closed studio room, Hwiyoung’s heart raced like he just woke up of a nightmare. He immediately got up of his seat and opened the door wide, only to see you standing in front of him after three years, more beautiful than ever. You both were froze, just staring at each other, hearts beating fast and bodies shaking. “I think it’s better if you have some time alone to talk. I’m waiting for you in the car, Y/N”, Taeyang broke the silence and left the building, the tension and old memories being too much for him to bear. “H-hi…”, you tried to start the conversation, but the shocked Hwiyoung just blinked his eyes still not believing it was really you. “Sunbae, won’t you invite this lady to your room?”, the other guy talked for him. “Huh? Ah, okay… Please, ju-just come in…”, Hwiyoung finally spoke, his low voice making you shiver.

You entered his studio and sat on a small couch on the corner. “Wanna something to drink, lady?”, the guy asked you. “Oh, no… thank you”, you answered and he left, now only you and a standing Hwiyoung in the room. You were feeling very uncomfortable as he didn’t talk anything. “So…”. “Is it really you, Y/N?”, Hwiyoung interrupted you. “Ye-yes, I guess…”, you tried to look fine with that awkward situation. “I knew you had an accident and lost your memory, but do you remember me?”. “I don’t”, you looked at him nervous. “So, why are you here? I know Taeyang would never bring you here for nothing”, Hwiyoung asked finally sitting down on his chair. “I’m… Well... I don’t know exactly what’s going on with me, but...I-I’ve been having flashbacks with you. I mean, I don’t even remember you or our past, but you insist on appear on my mind everytime I’m with Tae...”, you spoke hastily. “So…?”, Hwiyoung seemed to be lost at your words. “So, I’m here to try to figure out what happened. I mean with us, with our friendship. I think it could be the reason of these flashes”, you stared at him waiting for some answers, but nothing came. “I think I can’t help you with that, Y/N. We don’t have anything in common anymore. I’m glad you’re alive and fine, but you shouldn’t see me anymore. I’m sorry”.

His words hurt you, more than you can expect from a stranger, but you wouldn’t give up so easily. You took a deep breath and started to talk again after some minutes of heavy silence. “Why are you like this? First, you were my best friend and left me and know you don’t even want to tell me why you acted like this?”, you tried to say calmly, but your shaking voice betrayed you. “Past is past, Y/N. You must move on and not remember me”, Hwiyoung words were sharp, and you could see his fists clenching with anger. “Did you do it? Did you forget me?, you asked looking right into his eyes. He sustained the look for some seconds, still quiet, unable to move a single muscle. “No, I didn’t. I tried it in every ways possible, but I never could forget you”, he simply asked an eternity later, sadness waving through his body as the pain of the old memories washed over him. “So why?”, tears now gathering in your eyes. “There was no more space in your life for me, Y/N”, he tried to hold back his tears too. “Why don’t you tell me what really happened?”, you whispered facing your lap. “Do you mind if you talk somewhere else? I need some fresh air.”, Hwiyoung asked cautiously. “No, since you tell me everything I need to know about our past”, you answered and both of you left the building.

Taeyang was still waiting for you on the street. As soon as he saw you leaving, he came closer and you smiled shyly at him. “Tae, I’m sorry, but I need some time to talk to Hwiyoung. You can go home, I’ll get a taxi when we’re over”, you said reaching for his hands. “I can’t leave you alone with him, Y/N. Let me go with you or let’s go home now”, Taeyang talked serious. “Tae, please. I really need to do this. Now”, you looked deep in his eyes and he simply nodded, his hands moving to the sides of your head. “Call me if you need, okay?”, he pecked your lips and turned to his car, barely locking eyes with Hwiyoung on the way.

~~~~

You were in a small cozy café near his studio, the smell of coffee and cakes filling the whole place. “Do you know this place?”, Hwiyoung asked you after ordering two cappuccinos. “No. Is it a important place?”, you asked back. “Yeah, we used to come here after our classes and your official first date with Taeyang was here too. Didn’t he tell you this?", Hwi questioned curious. “Oh, really? He never mentioned this place. I wonder why…”, you looked at Hwiyoung who seemed to be a little awkward. “So… Were you and Taeyang friends too? I mean, before you left?”, you encouraged him to talk. “Actually, not. But he was your boyfriend, so he was always around”, he said with a bothered tone. “You never liked him, right?”, you wondered not exactly waiting for an answer. Hwiyoung kept quiet for a moment, only staring at you not knowing what to say. “You love him and that’s all the matter, Y/N”, he finally said and drank his coffee.

You both continued your conversation for some hours, Hwiyoung patiently trying to answer all your questions, feeling a little comfortable with you after so many years - he talked about your childhood and teenage, but you still couldn't remember a single thing.

It was already night when you entered your home only to take a quick shower and plopped down on your bed, immediately falling asleep. When you woke up next morning and walked into the kitchen to make your breakfast, there was a small note on your table: “I had to go home earlier. Call me when you got home. YTY”. Holy shit, Tae! You ran back to your bedroom and reached for your phone - 8 missed calls from your boyfriend. You called him, but he didn’t answer, then you sent a message.

Y/N: I’m so sorry, Tae! I got home late yesterday and just fell asleep. Please, don’t be mad at me TT

Some minutes later, Taeyang answers:

TY: It’s okay, bb. I’m relieved you’re safe. Have free time later? We could have dinner together…

Your heart ached a little with his message, but you had to be sincere.

Y/N: Sorry again, but I already have a commitment tonight x.x

TY: Hwiyoung again?

Y/N: Yes… I like to hear him to talk about our youth and I still have to find out why he left… Are you fine with this?

TY: Not really. But I trust you, so I think it’s okay…

Y/N: Thank you, Tae! Now, focus on your work, I don’t want to bother you.

TY: You don’t bother me at all. And meet me in the park when you come back tonight. I’ll wait for you there.

Y/N; Okay. See you later :*

~~~~

You did had dinner with Hwiyoung that night and spent hours talking and laughing with him. And Taeyang did waited for you in the park, but you didn’t meet him nor even called him. After two hours waiting, he decided to go home, but as soon as he got up, he saw you getting off a taxi with a drunk Hwiyoung holding onto your shoulders. It broke his heart and he couldn’t stand this view anymore, so he turned around and walked home into the cold night.

Early in the next morning, you woke up with someone knocking at your door. You were surprised when you opened it and saw Taeyang standing there, his features looking tired and upset. “Tae, what are you doing out there? You have the keys!”, you asked pulling him in. “Am I still free to simply enter your house?”, he answered not looking at you, a dark expression on his face. “What do you mean?”, as soon as you closed your mouth, Hwiyoung appears on your living room, still rubbing sleepness off his eyes, freezing when he sees you two at the door.

Your boyfriend stared at you and you could read anger in his look. “Tae, I can explain…”, you reached for his hands. “You don’t have to do it. I see you had fun last night. He got drunk and you brought him home. You lay him down on your guest room and went to your own bed. I know that you’d never cheat on me. I told you I trust you, Y/N”, he interrupted you moving out your grip on him. “So…?”, you cautiously asked. “A simple call… was everything I needed yesterday. But you didn’t care… No, you just don’t care anymore”, he said moving his gaze to Hwiyoung, his voice full with pain and bitterness. “I… I think it’s my time to go”, your friend spoke nervously. “Please, have a talk and make up your problems”, he grabbed his jacket and shoes and passed over Taeyang who was still standing next the door. “I‘m sorry”, Hwiyoung whispered as Taeyang only clenched his fists. “Bye, Y/N. Thanks for letting me sleep here”. You just nodded and he left.

You turned to your boyfriend again, his body trembling with anger. “Tae, let’s sit on the couch and talk, okay?”, you said only above a whisper. He walked with you, but sat on the opposite side of the couch. Taeyang stared at his lap, feeling unable to look at you when he was so angry. “Tae, I’m so sorry for letting you down”, you quietly said, but he didn’t respond. “Tae… Please, talk to me”, you whined trying to make him look at you, but he didn’t move a single muscle. You reached out for his hand to slightly touch it. “Say something”, you whispered as he sighed deeply and let go of your hand. “You don’t love me, right?”, he murmured.

He finally lift his head and looked at you, his eyes full of pain and sadness. You didn’t know what to say and froze while tears started to form in your eyes.”You don’t know it, do you? Don’t know what you feel for me, don’t know if you love me”, his words were like knives striking your heart. “Tae…”, you tried to talk, but he cut you off. “You don’t try to love me, you don’t even care about my feelings for you”, he yelled the last part. At this point, tears were falling freely down your face, but why couldn’t you say anything to deny his accusations? Why didn’t you know how you feel about him? Why was only Hwiyoung on your mind for the past few weeks? “Tae…”, you called out for him, “I… I think I just need sometime…”, you couldn’t say much more as Taeyang only stared at you. “I like you, I want you to be happy, but I just don’t know what to do now”, you cried out. “I’m sorry, Tae… I’m really sorry”, you couldn’t control your tears anymore and sobbed right in front of him. He just nodded painfully, got up off the couch and left, leaving you alone there with your crying.

You sank into misery and stayed at home all day, trying to control your suddenly sadness and confused feelings. Hwiyoung called you several times, but you just ignored him till you hear a slow knock at your door. It was him, a worried expression on his face. “Why didn’t you answer my calls and messages, Y/N?”, he asked entering your house. You didn’t respond, just staring at him as tears tried to back to your eyes. Seeing your messy state of mind, he put his hands on your shoulders and whispered a sweet “What happened? Where’s Taeyang?”. At the mention of his name, you cried again, holding onto him to not fall. “Y/N…”, he hugged you back. “It’s over, Hwi… I told him I need sometime, but he just left and I know he won’t come back”, you yelled in pain against his chest. “Why am I like this, Hwi? Why is it so painful?”, you desperately asked. “Because you love him, Y/N. You love him now as much as you loved him before. You just don’t know it yet.”, he calmly answered, running his fingers through your hair.

You broke the embrace and look at him. “How… how do you know that?”. “Because I was there before and saw how you were perfect together. He could be himself next to you and was able to do anything for you. I can say the same from you. You were always happy when you were together, even in the most difficult times. That’s love, Y/N”, he told you with a painful look. “Why do you always talk about him this way if you don’t even like him?”, you were confused. “Only him, Y/N. Because only him can take you away from me”, Hwiyoung couldn’t look into your eyes anymore. “What?”, your hands were shaking. “I love you, Y/N. Since we were teenagers. I love you. But I always knew your heart would never be mine. And when you found Taeyang, I immediately knew I had lost you forever. That’s right I left you”.

Hwiyoung’s eyes were glued at his lap, fists clenched, shaky voice. You stared at him in disbelief, mouth opened on a little “o”, teary eyes trying to control themselves as your head spun with the truth. “Why?”, you finally asked after some minutes of a deafening silence. “Look at me and say it, Hwiyoung! Why?”, your whole body trembling. He raised his head and talked “Your heart was his, Y/N. It was and it still is. Don’t you see that?”. Now, his eyes were fixed on yours, like looking into your soul. “I don’t... I can’t”, you didn’t even know what else you were talking. “Don’t you love him anymore?, he asked serious this time. “I don’t know, right? I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, I don’t know who I am anymore!”, you screamed at the top of your lungs as tears fell down your face again. “If you don’t love him, then kiss me!”, he screamed back and you froze. “What?”, you nervously asked. “Kiss me. If you can’t, then you truly love him”, he replied to your shocked being. “Just try it. Only like this, you’ll know if you love him for real”, he assured you. You nodded unconsciously and cautiously came to Hwiyoung, your bodies getting closer, your faces just inches from each other, your eyes closing slightly. But, suddenly, you stopped, you couldn’t do that. You leaned back swiftly and Hwiyoung just nodded already expected it. You stared at the floor. “Hwiyoung, please… Please, leave me alone. This is so much for me”, you now whispered as he placed a little kiss on the top of your head. “I’ll text you later, okay? Call me anytime if you need”, you didn’t move or talk and he left. Once again that day, you were left alone with your own feelings.

~~~~

Two days had passed and you were going to meet Hwiyoung at a restaurant to clarify some things. “I’m sorry for yelling at you that day”, you sincerely say when you met him. “It’s okay. And I’m sorry for telling the truth like that and for asking for a kiss. I shouldn’t have done that”, he apologized. “No, it’s okay. I would have to know that somehow one day, so… And don’t worry about it”, you answered with a lost look. “Y/N”, Hwiyoung called you. “Did Taeyang contact you?”, he asked carefully, your lost look now sad. “No. He didn’t answer my texts or calls. I guess he really doesn’t want me anymore, right?”, you tried to force a smile, but only tears formed in your eyes. "I'm sorry to hear that, but you shouldn't give up yet. Give yourselves some time and I'm sure everything will be fine", Hwiyoung tried to comfort you and you just hummed in response, but your heart was swallowed in pain.

You both ate quietly and talked a little more about your past, when your phone buzzed - it was Chani calling you. "Hi, Chani!", you answered trying to look happy. "Hey, noonan! Can you come to the address I'm sending you right now?", he replied worried. "I'm with Hwiyoung now. What happened?". Chani sighed on the other side of the call. "That's right he's like this, then…", he mumbled more to himself that for you. "What's wrong, Chani?", you were getting nervous. "Taeyang hyung is drunk and is making a mess on the pub. He's crying and begging for you. Can you come get him or not? I'm losing my patience with him", he answered visibly annoyed. "Oh my God. Okay, I'm coming. Send me the address and wait till I get there", you rushily replied gathering your purse. "What happened?", Hwiyoung asked when he saw your despair. "Taeyang is drunk and needs me right now", your breathless said. "Okay, calm down. I'll take you there", you nodded and you both paid the bill and left the restaurant.

When you arrived at the pub, Chani had finally controlled Taeyang, who was (almost) sleeping on the counter. You approached him and softly touched his shoulder. "Tae, let's go home, huh? It's late and you need to rest", you whispered. "I'm not going anywhere without my girl", he messily murmured as tears were forming in the corner of your eyes. "Tae, it's me. Y/N. I'm your girl", you replied trying to hold back your crying. Taeyang opened his eyes and raised his heard when heard your name. "Y/N? Why are you here? You don't want me anymore. Leave!", he was almost screaming but his eyes were full of despair and tears. "I'm here to take you home, Tae. Please, let me take care of you tonight, huh?", you insisted, your tears starting to fall. Your boyfriend continued protesting and struggling to stay on his feet, but after some minutes you and Chani could finally support him on your shoulders and dragged him for his car. Meanwhile, Hwiyoung observed everything from a distance, going unnoticed when you left.

On the way home, Taeyang fell into a heavy sleep and you and Chani could talk. “Why did you left him? It’s not because of Hwiyoung, is it?”, Chani asked looking at you. “Not exactly. I needed sometime to think and understand what I feel for him. Hwiyoung only was there at the wrong time, I think”, you replied looking away from him. “And did you come to any conclusion now?”, he insisted. “Yes”, you simply answered and faced him. He could read the truth in your eyes and understood you. “I’m glad you already know it, ‘cuz I can’t stand him crying on my ears every time saying he loves you and wants you back”, Chani laughed a little. “Did he tell you that?”, you asked curious. “Of course, every single time since you broke up. He came to my place and cried all day long”, he continued. “Why?”, you wonder. “He loves you, noona. He really loves you. And I think you should tell him the same now that you know how you feel”, he looked at you again waiting for an answer, but you were lost in thoughts, your hands shanking and tears slipping through your face. Then, you stayed quiet till you got your home. Chani helped you to take Taeyang to your apartment and lay him on your bed. “Tell him, noona”, it was his last words before he left you alone with a drunk sleepy Taeyang.

You looked at your worn out boyfriend with guilty eyes, took off his jacket and lay beside him on bed. You snuggled to him and reached out his face with one of your hands, caressing his still wet cheeks and beautiful features. You could feel your heartbeat increased and all the love you’ve felt for him finally showed up, coaxing you to softly kiss his cheek and hold his hand on his chest. “I love you, Tae… I'm sorry for taking so long to realize this”, you whispered. You didn’t know if he heard you or not, but he squeezed your hand a little and let out a small sigh fall from his ips. You smiled a little and got even closer to his body, both of you calm heartbeats lulling you to sleep.

When Taeyang woke up in the morning, the space beside him on bed was empty, but he still could feel your warmth and your sweet scent on your sheets, pillows and on his shirt. A small note was on the blanket next to him and he read your little message: Meet me at the park tonight. I’ll be waiting for you. On the nightstand beside him, there was another note: I made you breakfast - it’s on the kitchen table. Don’t forget to eat it ^.^. He got up and walked to the kitchen where his favorite food was resting. On top of it, there was one more note: I have to resolve some things now. Hope to see you tonight.

~~~~

You met Hwiyoung at the park that afternoon, the same place where you had your first flashback. You both walked for a while before you stopped near the little lake. “It was here where I saw you for the first time after the accidente. I mean, on my mind”, you told him and sighed. “And now? Are you feeling something different?”, he asked looking at the water. “No. I just see two friends admiring a lake”, you simply said and he chuckled. “What?”, you asked. “Nothing… What’s the next place you want to take me?”, he inquired. Your next destination was the beach, where you saw him for the second time. “And here? Is something different?”, he wondered. “Yes”, you murmured. “My first kiss with Taeyang after the accident was here, but you appeared on my mind right after it”, you chuckled slightly. “Oh, no. I’m sorry”, he laughed too.

“Hwiyoung”, you called out for him. “Yeah?”. “I understand everything now. I mean, I still don’t know the reason of those flashbacks, but I know it brought you to me one more time, it gave us a second chance…”, you stopped and he hummed for you to continue. “... but also this time it’s Taeyang. As you said, I love him, I always loved him, and he’s my choice now just like he was then”, you stared at him with hopeful eyes as he stayed quiet. “But there’s a difference now”. He looked at you. “What?”. “Taeyang knows you like me, right? That’s right he doesn’t like you either”, you asked. “Yes, I told him before I left. But where’s the difference?”. “The difference is that I know that now too. And it means you don’t have to leave this time”. “I don’t understand, Y/N”. “We finally know what we feel for each other and it’s time for us to learn how to live with that and move on. We still can be friends now that we understand ourselves and we don’t have to say goodbye anymore. You’re my best friend, Hwi, and I love you. Please, stay”, you were looking deeply into his eyes as you can read a sparkling light shining on them. “I’m staying. I promise”, you both smile with his anwer and hugged to seal up your promise.

~~~~

Later that day, you were back to the park in front of your home, waiting for Taeyang this time. You hadn’t spoken all day and you were not sure if he would show up. Even so, there was you, patiently waiting for your boyfriend to come. One hour has passed. Two hours. And you were still there, already thinking he was mad and didn’t want to see you. You were walking through the park to keep warm when you saw a familiar figure next the lake, looking directly at you. You took some steps in his direction as he did the same in yours. “Tae! I thought you wouldn’t come”, you said when you were close enough from each other. “I wouldn't. But a certain threat told me you were here waiting for hours. And I had to see this beautiful image with my own eyes”, he told you and you both smiled. “I guess we have to thank this great threat, huh?”. “Nah…”, you laughed. “So, why do you bring me here?”, Taeyang asked. “I have something to tell you”, you said - and it took by surprise how confident you were. “Well, tell me then. I’m all ears”. “Can I hold your hands before I talked?”, your words were careful this time, but he nodded and you could feel his warm hands on your again.

You took a deep breath and start. “After all this time, I didn’t remember a single thing about my past, Tae, and it somehow scares me. But now, more than ever, I know I have you by my side. And I’m sorry for not realizing it before, but I do now. Yoo Taeyang, my Tae, I love you. I loved you then, I love you now and I’ll love you forever. So, please, I hope you still want me and still love me, ‘cuz I finally realize I can’t live without you anymore”, you told him with teary eyes and heart beating strong against your chest. Taeyang only stared at you for some moments, processing all what you had said, till he tightens his grasp on your hands and brings them to his chest, where his heart was pounding as hard as yours, and opens the brightest smile you’ve even seen. “I love you too, baby. Then, now and forever”, he finally spoke and pulled you closer to kiss you passionately.

After that, you both went home to cuddle together till sleep in each other’s arms.

~~~~

Y/N never recovered her memory, but she learned how to live the present without fearing the future. She and Hwiyoung remained friends. And Y/N and Taeyang built their family and stayed together till their last breath.

#kpop writings #sf9 scenarios #sf9 imagines #sf9 angst #sf9 fluff #sf9 hwiyoung #sf9 yoo taeyang

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endydancer1 · 3 years

Text

We used to be strangers | Part 6

Pairing: Tom Holland x Y/N Lincoln

Summary: Tom has just finished his latest movie and his heading back home to London. While he is passing the high building, suddenly something happens what changes his life completely. What is the shadow up there?

WARNING: Mentions of injuries, blood, depression, thinking of suicide.

..................................................................................

"Tom, get the fuck out of the bathroom! You are having a shower for almost an hour! There are 3 other boys living in this house if you haven't noticed yet!" Haz was forcefully knocking on the bathroom door. He had been standing there for good 20 minutes. Tom had went to the shower at 10 am and it was almost 11! Finally the lock clicked and the door opened showing naked Tom wearing only a towel around his waist.

TOM'S POV:

"Holy Odin, thank you. What did take you so long?! Don't tell me you were actually showering 60 minutes!" Haz looked at me a bit annoyed.

"I was. I am sorry. I needed to shave and clean myself properly." I glanced innocently at him.

"Oh so you had to shave. Why? Are you going on a date? You normally don't spend that much time in a shower even if you are shaving. So what's up?"

"No, I don't have a date. I just.. Want to look nice, you know? I am coming to hospital to see Y/N."

"Oh, I see now. So you are finally falling for someone new. And while she is in hospital she can't run away from you when you would want to play with her, right?" Haz teased.

I just rolled my eyes and pushed him out of my way.

"Yeah, that's my dark plan. But it's a secret, don't tell anyone or I will be forced to play with you too." I smirked and walked into my room.

"You need someone to play with you already cuz you are unbearable." I heard Haz laughing before I closed the door behind me.

"Well, what should I wear?" I was standing on one place for good 3 minutes directly looking into my closet. - What am I doing? I have never been thinking that much about what should I wear on the regular day. I don't even shower that long. Was it really an hour?- I looked at my phone. - It was! Oh God. I wasn't that nervous and didn't care that much about my look even when I went on a first date with Anna. And another thing is I don't even have a date today! It's just.. Casual visit of someone I saved, right?- I just sighed and took step closer to my closet.

"Hmm, what about this? Jeans with denin jacket. It's a bit casual, but hey, I won't spoil anything with that." I dried my hair, dressed myself and walked out of my room. There was no one except me and Haz in the house.

"Harrison? Are you ready? Can we go?" I shouted waiting in front of his room.

"I am waiting for you in the living room you div!"

"Sorry! I thought you were still in your room!" I came down to living room.

"Well not everyone is as slow as you." He stood up and took his car keys. "Let's go!"

After lunch we went to the shopping centre, because I needed to buy something for Y/N.

"Uhm, Haz? What should I buy for Y/N? I promised her to watch movies with her, but I don't know which she would want to watch."

"Well, you probably should have asked her."

"You are not helping mate!"

"I am sorry, I am sorry, I am just messing with you,haha. Well, from what you have already said about her, she doesn't know you are an actor. So probably you can show her one of your movies."

"I don't think it would be a good idea. I don't want to look like a selfish prick. And.. What if she is that kind of girl who would want me only because of my money and fame?" I glanced at my feets and played with my fingers nervously.

"Tom, I understand, but you said she sent you a heart emoji and it's a good sign!" Haz poked my arm gently and a laugh a bit.

"Yeah, but she probably saw my Instagram profile and she probably knows I am famous by now."

"Well..it's also possible, but maybe she doesn't know yet. You know what then? Take one or two Marvel movies. Iron Man or Thor, or Avengers, to see if she like these kind of movies, take some romantic comedies, you know, because girls like them, right? Take your favourite movie and maybe.. Oh yeah, try any of your movies where you were young. If she notices it, you know? The Impossible or In the heart of the sea? "

" That can actually works. Thank you Haz, what would I do without you." I smiled at him. "And we should borrow it from movie rental, because I doubt they have Netflix in the hospital." I chuckled. We borrowed 5 movies.

"Mate look at this hoodie! I need it! Haz, I need it!"

"Oh God Tom, you have tons of Spiderman hoodies! You really don't need another one..."

"But look at it!"

"It's just saying Mr. Stark I don't feel so good! Tom, this meme is over."

"Well not for me. I am gettin' it and you can't do anything about it!"

"God, fine! Buy it, but hurry up if you want me to take you to hospital." Haz rolled his eyes and waited for me outside the shop.

"I've got it! Yay!" I rushed out of the shop full of joy from my new purchase.

"You are such a kid Tom, you know? How old are? 5?" He laughed at me. "Let's go. You should buy some snacks."

"Why? I am the snack, she can eat me" I joked.

"Or you can eat her, huh?"

"Harrison! But yeah.. Maybe I will!"

"One day.." Haz sticked his tongue out.

We teased each other the whole ride to the hospital. Harrison told me to call him when I wanted him to pick me up. We said our goodbye and I went into the building.

"Good afternoon Mrs. Brown. How are you? I know I am here a bit early, but I here to visit Y/N." I smiled at young lady at the reception. Her face had already dropped while I spoke. Sad smile appeared on her face.

"I am sorry, Mr. Holland. You should go home and rather forget about her."

"W-what? Why? What happened? Is she okay?"

"I shouldn't be telling you this, but she probably won't survive much longer."

"What? You have to be joking? I was talking to her yesterday. She was fine. What happened? If it has something to with that Melendez guy I am sorry. But ple, don't joke about her dying, I.."

"I am not joking, Mr. Holland. I would have never joked about such a thing. She is my best friend. And she is dying. So please,don't make it even harder for me."

"C-can I.. Can I at least see her? One last time?"

"I am sorry, you can't. She is on fluid resuscitation right now."

I could feel my eyes started watering. I felt familiar anxiety and my heart almost stopped working. My palms started sweating, I felt dizzy. I had to sit down for a moment.

"Do you need water, Mr. Holland?"

I wasn't able to speak. My voice was caught deep in my throat. My eyes were blankly staring at the wall in front of me. I didn't even notice when she left to grab me some water.

"Here, drink it." She handed me cup of water and crunched in front of me. "Listen, I know how you feel. Y/N is amazing person, you don't know her for a long time, but I am sure you could see that. She doesn't deserve to die like this and this soon, but it's what it is. We have to deal with it. She wouldn't want you to cry over her death. She would want you to continue your life with joy. Let's honour every moment we could spend with her and if the worst comes, we should let her die in peace. " She gently rubbed the back of my hand. I looked at her with puffy red eyes.

" I don't want her to die. " I said with raspy voice.

" I know. Me neither, but she was diagnosed with severe damages to her body, her condition is really miserable and there is only a small chance of her to survive this even with the best doctors and facilities."

I growled and put my head into my hands. I didn't even try to keep my sobbs quiet. Mrs. Brown hugged me tightly.

" Psst. It will be okay. I feel the same. You are not alone. But you should go home now. Spend some time with your family and friends. It's okay to cry, but don't let it affect you in other ways. Do you have someone to pick you up?"

"What's her diagnose? What happened? Can you at least tell me so I know when she.. When she dies what causes it?"

"She suffers a septic shock. It's severe condition when 50% of patients dies, because of multiple organs failure."

"But.. She was okay yesterday. How could it happened?"

"Septic shock is caused by sepsis which does not respond the treatment. Your blood pressure drops to a dangerously low level after sepsis."

"Oh my God." I gulped and felt dizzy again. My skin was pale.

"Mr. Holland, look at me. Do you have someone to take you home? Can you give me your phone so I can call you someone?"

I can't remember properly how I managed to unlock my phone and handed it to her. Her voice was muffled and my head hurt. I didn't know how much time passed, but suddenly Harrison appeared in front of me.

" Hey, mate. I am here, I am here. Can you stand up? I am taking you home." He helped me to stand up and led me in the car. He managed to sat me on the front seat.

"Wait for me I need to speak to the nurse. Can you do that?"

I nodded absently. He walked back to the nurse I was talking to, Mrs. Brown. She explained what happened and what he should do with me. After a minute or two, Haz took me home. I cant tell you how long the ride was, because only thing I could think about was Y/N. She was dying. Dying and I couldn't help her. I only spoke to her for a few hours, but I had already felt the bond between us. I couldn't lose her. I didn't want to be sad, broken. Not again. Not after Anna. I prayed in my head. I prayed so hard. - Please God, I have already lost the love of my life. Please, I don't want to see another person die. I have just started to have feelings for another woman, after years of being alone and crying over my sweet angel, I found another one, or at least I think I found. And you want to take her from me too? -

"Tom, Tom, please look at me. Don't cry mate, I know it's hard. I am here. Please look at me." Haz was looking at me, obviously worried. Somehow he managed to lay me down on my bed.

"Tom, do you need something? A water or something to eat?" he sat next to me on bed. I stayed quiet, not really listening what he was saying. He just sighed.

"I will give you some space. You should sleep a bit. I will be downstairs if you need something." He stood up and walked to the door.

"Stay.. Please.. I need you."

A/N: Let me know what you think about this story so far. Sorry for my English, it's not my first language and I am new with this. So I would be happy and thankful about the feedback. Have a nice day! 😊

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland spiderman #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland imagine #tomhollandfans #hollanders #haz osterfield #harrison osterfield #holland family #marvel #spiderman far from home #spiderman homecoming #spiderman #imagine #fanfiction #fanfic #tom holland x y/n #we used to be strangers

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voldemorthatesnose96 · 4 years

Text

Could you write a fic or a drabble with established relationship Sobbe where Sander voluntarily admits himself back into the hospital but this time Robbe goes to visit him everyday and he and Sander spend time together doing things that make Sander happy and just a whole lot of supportive!Robbe?

Exactly on Thursday night, at 00.12 AM, right when Sander walked in into their room at the flat, he said, “I need to go back to the hospital”. Shocked would be an understatement that time, but before Robbe could said anything, Sander explained that it was just him and him only; no other reasons or someone involved with his decision. After a lot of tears, hug and few discussions later for three days straight, Sander is finally admitted to the place where he used to be treated years ago. And now, Robbe is standing right in front of the his boyfriend’s hospital room—taking a very deep breath, before entering. As usual, he’s bringing new clothes, lunch box, snacks and a new sketchbook. Four days turning into thirteen, thirteen turning into twenty five, and twenty five is turning into thirty seven days. Time flies so fast and there isn’t a single day where Robbe not visiting Sander and being with him until the visiting hour is done.

“Hi, Mr Driesen.”

The first time Robbe visited the day after his boyfriend had admitted himself, Robbe had imposed his personality upon the room already. Some random sketches were scattered all around the floor; both the finished and the unfinished one—when Robbe was asking there wasn’t a single sketch of himself or them both on the those papers, Sander ruffled his hair and said “do you think I would just let your handsome face got wasted on this cold hard concrete? They are all on my sketchbooks and files, dummy!”—then, his usual leather jacket on the bed just lying absentmindedly, a poster of Bowie on the wall in front of him and a frame of their holiday pic in Sweden few years ago on the desk beside his bed. Robbe remembered a stupid accident during that trip, but it was for another story.

Sander’s immediate reaction when he sees Robbe walking towards him is always the same; a radiant smile that could light up the whole room. His hair is brunette now and cut short. Although Robbe misses Sander’s platinum blond hair very much but seeing him with his natural hair color like this, is also pleasing. Sander leans in and kisses Robbe’s entire face first before the lips. For the past two weeks, he always does that and not giving a reason why—but Robbe doesn’t mind that at all.

“Did you bring my sketchbook?”

Instead of answering to his boyfriend’s question, Robbe gives him a playful grin instead and says, “sketchbook or McDonalds fries first?”

“Both!” Sander replies automatically.

Robbe shakes his head, “sometimes you really gotta choose. Now, choose or I won’t give them all to you.”

“You could be very infuriating, Robin.”

“I know. Same goes to you. So? Which one is it?”

Sander sighs. Though his hands are itchy to draw something, but the grumbling sound of his stomach matters more.

“Alright. The fries, then.”

Robbe lets an adorable giggle as he lets himself sitting on the bed. His boyfriend is looking at him while Robbe’s busy taking out the fries and ketchup from his backpack.

“What?”

Sander shakes his head while lifting one hand to caresses Robbe’s cheek. The thing he usually does when he’s just... feeling grateful whenever the love of his life still here—supporting him, caring for him, loving him as he is. No matter how he could be such a pain the ass sometimes. Last month was his 26th birthday and the fact that it was just them two celebrating, at their own flat, was one of the most wonderful moment that could ever happened in his life. There are so many things he wants to say, but even when he tries to speak, only one phrase is coming out from his mouth.

“Ik zie u graag.”

Robbe turns his head slightly until his lips touches Sander’s palm and kisses it, “I love you too. But can we eat now? I’m kinda hungry.”

“You’re ruining the mood, Mr IJzermans.” Sander laughs but not rejecting Robbe’s hand which offering him three pieces of the fries. He suddenly remembers that it’s been almost a year since Sander had McDonalds fries. It still tastes heavenly, though.

After that, they decide to play Monopoli and Uno. Sander is terrible at Uno while Robbe is absolutely horrible at Monopoli—somehow he always ends up either in jail or losing too much money due to rent and taxes. The most favorite thing they love to do is lying on the bed, while Sander is hugging Robbe and letting him plays with his hair until he’s falling asleep; but sometimes they’re switching roles for it. It’s nearly 6 PM, which means Robbe has to go before the nurse comes in and tells him to—which is just as sucks as he forcing himself to get himself up from bed and leaving his boyfriend all alone again.

“You’re doing great,” Robbe kisses Sander’s lips before saying goodbye. “And I’m incredibly proud of you. I don’t know when will you be coming home but it doesn’t matter, because I would still coming back here everyday. You know that, right?”

“I know.” Sander smiles. His green eyes always darkened everytime he’s feeling sad or guilty.

“What would you like me to bring tomorrow?”

Instead of answering, Sander gently pulls Robbe closer and holds him tight. He buries his face in Robbe’s neck and inhales the scents on his body and clothes. And whenever Robbe is holding himself tighter, his heart always soars. There’s one thing Sander has been keeping secret from his boyfriend for these last three days; today is actually his last day being here and tomorrow, it’s gonna be him to bring himself to Robbe. Of course Sander can’t tell him yet, so he says, between his usual smirks.

“I’ll let you know tomorrow morning, Robin.”

#wtfock #wtfam #fanfic #anon reqs

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burntoutmatchstick · 3 years

Text

angst/comfort sobbe one-shot

content warning: panic attack

Robbe felt the vibrations from his phone tug at his senses, pulling him from sleep. His tired mind rejected the feeling at first, fighting to keep him under. Then the phone buzzed again, and again, and suddenly Robbe was awake. It felt like he'd only been asleep for moments and he sighed, reaching out blindly in search of his phone to shut off the alarm. Tapping at his nightstand and knocking over an empty can of energy drink in the process, Robbe finally located the offending object and cracked one eye, lifting the light source carefully to his face. It took a moment for his sleep logged brain to process the information. There was no alarm going off, and the time glared accusingly '01:17 am'. He didn't have a chance to think through his confusion when his phone buzzed again, Sander's name replacing the early morning clock on the screen. Robbe's brain fog flicked immediately to panic as he pulled himself up onto one elbow, fingers fumbling with the unlock button, almost hanging up in his haste.

'Fuck,' he muttered, finally sliding his thumb in the right direction and pushing himself a little higher up onto his elbow. 'Sander?'

There was a heavy quiet on the other end, filled only with the static crackle of the phone line. Sander's name was on the tip of his tongue again when Robbe heard a low, shuddering breath, hitching in the middle with what sounded like a sob.

'Sander, talk to me!' Robbe said, an icy feeling filling his stomach. He was surprised to find himself with one leg already out of the bed, his body responding before his mind could catch up.

'Robbe, I....' Sander's voice was thick and shaky.

'Baby, what's going on? Where are you?'

'Can you meet me?' Robbe heard Sander swallow hard. 'I'm sorry it's so late, but I'm out the front of your place and...'

'I'm coming.'

Robbe didn't give Sander a chance to finish his sentence before both feet were on the ground. He scrambled around the floor of his bedroom, throwing on whatever cloths lay discarded there. He could feel his heart banging beneath his ribcage as he tried not to freak out.

He'd been with Sander that afternoon. Sander had met him after school and they'd grabbed coffee before heading to their respective homes. He'd looked tired, Robbe thought, but nothing had set off alarm bells merely hours earlier. The possibilities of what could have happened in the time in between forced Robbe to move faster.

He pushed out of his bedroom door, stepping with light feet into the hallway and expertly avoiding the creaky floorboards. His mother was a deep sleeper, especially on her new medications, but he didn't want to risk the chance of her waking and slowing him down. He grabbed his keys and a coat, and forcing his feet into his white sneakers, made it out the door.

Robbe flew down the dimly lit stairs of his apartment building, taking them two at a time. His panting breath and the sound of his shoes slapping against the concrete were the only sounds that filled the empty stairwell. Reaching the ground floor, Robbe pushed through the entrance doors abruptly, not caring about the noise they made as they crashed closed behind him. The chilly night air nipped at him as he moved across the courtyard, making it to the iron gates that opened up onto the alleyway. The metal screeched as he pushed it, and his eyes darted frantically, seeking out Sander in the dimly lit street.

Robbe spotted him almost instantly, leaning against a brick wall down the alley just in the shadows beyond the halo of a streetlamp. Robbe breathed out a sigh of relief when he saw Sander standing there whole, but the feeling didn't last long. Sander had looked up at the sound of the gate and even from here, Robbe could see the tear stricken look on his boyfriend's pale face.

The pair moved at the same time, meeting together in the middle of the street. Sander crashed into Robbe with a force that almost knocked the younger boy off his feet, but Robbe stood firm, returning Sander's force through the pressure of his embrace as he clutched at him with fierce determination.

'Hey, hey, I'm here now, you're alright...' Robbe wasn't even really aware of the sentiments he was muttering into Sander's ear, as Sander pushed his face against hard into Robbe's neck, his whole body clenched in a violent sob. Robbe was trying to hold Sander close and tight while simultaneously running his hands and eyes over his boyfriend's body checking for damage, for blood, for anything that would give him a hint about what was going on.

Satisfied at least for the moment that Sander wasn't suffering any dangerous physical harm, Robbe took one hand and pressed it firmly into the back of Sander's neck, cradling his head where it rested against his shoulder, pressing tiny kisses into the crown of Sander's hair. Even between the layers of both their clothing, Robbe could feel Sander's heartbeat racing.

Slowly and careful not to break their embrace, Robbe moved them off the road, until he had Sander pressed securely between himself and a wall. He could feel Sander's hands at the front of his shirt in an iron grasp. Robbe moved his own hand off the back of Sander neck and traced down his face, running his fingers along Sander's jaw until they were under his chin. With a gentle tug, Robbe pulled his head up. Sander straightened, keeping his hands entwined in Robbe's shirt. He didn't want to meet Robbe's eye at first, fixing his gaze somewhere above Robbe's head. Robbe took the chance to get a good look at his boyfriend's face. He was pale, violet sunken circles cradling his frantic, puffy eyes. Tear tracks streaked down his cheeks and neck, and Robbe could see the droplets that still clung to Sander's dark lashes. Robbe could feel Sander's chest heaving against his own as he tried to catch his breath. Robbe moved a hand down, placing it over one of the ones Sander was clinging so fiercely to his shirt with. At the light touch, Sander finally looked down and met Robbe's eye.

'Hi,' Robbe said softly, causing Sander to hiccup a tiny laugh.

'Hi.'

Now that some of the urgency was beginning to fade from Sander's body, Robbe could feel him shivering. Making sure too keep one hand on Sander at all times, Robbe quickly pulled off his jacket and wrapped it snug around Sander's shoulders, pulling him closer at the same time.

'I'm sorry it's so late,' Sander said, his voice hoarse.

'That's the only time you're going to apologise tonight, okay?' Robbe replied. Sander paused for a moment, then nodded.

Robbe held Sander's gaze, searching his eyes for answers. He didn't want to push Sander too hard, but he needed to know if he was okay.

Sander interpreted Robbe's searching gaze and shot him a small, sad smile.

'It's okay. I'm alright.' Sander swallowed hard as he said the words, tears still welling in the corners of his eyes. 'It's just a stupid panic attack.'

Robbe stood on tiptoe, quickly kissing each of Sander's eyes to catch the tears before they fell. 'There's nothing just or stupid about it, Sander.'

Sander shivered a little, whether from the cold or the attack, Robbe couldn't be sure. He pulled his coat tighter around Sander's shoulders and said, 'Do you want to come inside?'

Sander shook his head. 'I feel better out here, actually. The air is nice.'

Robbe nodded. 'Do you...do you want to tell me what triggered it? Or would you rather not talk...?' He searched Sander's face, letting him take the lead.

Sander gave him another teary smile, and Robbe could almost feel his heart splitting in two at his boyfriend's brave attempt.

'It was nothing, really. Just a stupid fight I had with Mama that escalated,' Sander paused, trying to gain control of another gasping breath that wracked his body. Robbe could tell by his erratic breathing that Sander had been hyperventilating and so he pushed one hand firmly into the middle of Sander's back, rubbing small, pressured circles there until Sander had caught up enough to speak again.

'I, um, I haven't slept well the last few days, so I think I'm mostly just exhausted. And Mama kept asking me why I wasn't sleeping and I told her I didn't know, which is the truth.'

Robbe made a sympathetic noise of agreement, prompting Sander to keep talking.

'I don't know how it happened but suddenly it went from me being overtired to her asking me about my meds and whether I'd been showing up to my therapy appointments recently, and I don't know Robbe I'm just so...it's just so... Sander's chin trembled.

Robbe muttered a quiet shh and let Sander lay his head on his shoulder again. Robbe wasn't sure how long they stood there like that, hidden in the shadows of the little alley. He held Sander close, swaying them both slightly, hoping that he could somehow help Sander feel better by the sheer force of his embrace alone.

'Four, seven, eight,' Robbe whispered in Sander's ear, and together they breathed in for four seconds, held for seven, breathed out for eight. It was a breathing technique Sander's psychologist had taught him, and honestly Robbe found it pretty useful in his own life, too. They kept up the deep breathing in tandem until Sander's shuddering gasps had returned to normal and Robbe could no longer feel his heart racing. Sander was still shivering though, one of his common come downs from a panic attack, and so Robbe kept holding him close. An alarm wailed in the distance.

'It's just extra frustrating,' Sander said after some time, his voice soft and tired. 'It's frustrating that I'm working so hard at the moment, that I am taking all my meds, I am showing up to all my appointments and it only takes one off day for her to start doubting me again.'

Robbe nodded, waiting for Sander to speak again.

'I know that she's scared,' he said. 'And I know I shouldn't be too hard on her, after all, I have given her reasons not the believe me in the past...' Sander trailed off.

'Maybe you shouldn't be too hard on her Sander, but she shouldn't be too hard on you, either. You have been working so hard lately. I'm so proud of you, and I know that she is too. I think it was probably just her fear reacting.'

Sander nodded. 'Well, I haven't exactly helped my case, have I? One argument is all it takes me to spiral into a panic attack and run away and...'

Robbe felt Sander's shoulders begin to clench again.

'Hey, hey, look at me. It's okay. This is what we're going to do...' Robbe reached a hand into Sander's pocket, pulling out his phone and handing it to him. 'You're going to text your Mama that you're safe with me, that you'll be spending the night here and that you'll see her tomorrow. Which is not something that spiralling, running away Sander would have done.'

Sander took his phone and did as Robbe said, the soft swoosh of the sent message echoing down the quiet alley.

'Now what, maestro?' Sander asked, his tone joking but his eyes serious, burning into Robbe's in search of the answers he needed.

'Now this?' Robbe questioned, craning his neck up so that his face was closer to Sander's. Robbe smiled slightly and paused, waiting to see if Sander was comfortable. 'What do you need?'

Without hesitation, Sander crashed his lips into Robbe's, their noses bumping in the desperation. Robbe let Sander take the lead, happy to give his boyfriend whatever he needed most in this moment. Sander deepened their kiss. It wasn't soft, their noses bumped and their teeth clashed as Sander clung onto Robbe with desperation, pulling him closer and closer. Their tongues fought against each other as Sander finally loosened his grip on Robbe's shirt to draw his hands under the material, snaking them up Robbe's bare chest until they rested against his ribcage. Sander let out a contended breath as the warmth of Robbe's skin met his, and voice slightly shaky, he pulled apart from their kiss to whisper in Robbe's ear;

'I just need you.'

Robbe hummed against Sander's throat, making the taller boy squirm. He twisted his fingers in Sander's hair and before bringing his head back up, seeking another kiss, Robbe said;

'You have me. Voor altijd.'

#sobbe #wtfock #sobbe fic #robbe ijzermans #sander driesen #mine: writing

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indimlights · 3 years

Text

Thank you so much Laurien @onzeziggy for thinking of me and tagging me in this, I might have taken some time but I'm finally doing it :) (Also I'm considering myself tagged by Vanesa @vataraxia just cause I want you to see how close we thought). This was incredibly hard (and long) to do but it was very fun

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Fav wtfock s3 things: *Screaming* NOOR!! I Love her and that's enough to show that they changed her, she's not like the other Emmas who are very unlikeable. Also her whole style and dynamic is amazing. *Screaming again* SANDER!! Okay yes it's Bel!Even BUT his style is so different, I love that he is into art and the bleached hair makes him so unique! Also the fact he didn't lose a year and stayed behind! I like that change. *Screaming for third time* ROBBE! Robbe might be Bel!Isak but he is so different from the others, the fact they made Robbe hold things inside and only crash once made him so much more relatable to me. They gave representation to those people that keep it to themselves the most they can and me, as a person that does exactly that, really enjoyed the change. (Also the fact he's the biggest baby in this earth hihi)

Favorite clip: I do have one but I'll have to mention others that are super close, I think (emphasis on the "I think") my favorite is dinsdag 7:27, there's just something about that (start of) clip that always makes me smile :) However I must say vrijdag 21:21, woensdag 21:21, maandag 11:03, zaterdag 08:44, maandag 15:12 (I might be the only person to love this clip as much as I do but yeah) and honestly...alot others are all very close and I love them all.

Favorite scene: omg can't possibly pick one, the sinterklaas clip is amazing in it's entirety but I have to say the third clip of season 3, I think it's not talked enough but just the entire atmosphere with the spraying and the secret codes plus we seeing sander for the first time there, it's such a cool scene! (I could mention others but I'm pretty sure I'll be referring then in the next topics haha)

Favorite shot: The one in dinsdag 7:27 where Robbe is caressing Sanders hand with his own hand, that's so sweet. Also the date night when Sander and Robbe are forming a heart figure with their position, that's just breathtaking and I could talk about it for days! Also the one from zaterdag 8:44 where they are in slow-mo moving in the shopping cart, that's an amazing one aswell!

Favorite kiss that Robbe initiates: The one in woensdag 17:21 is amazing and of course the one from dinsdag 7:27! How could I not mention that one. The one from woensdag 21:21 is also a milestone and it's amazing. Ah and there is this moment in Woensdag 16:36 when Sander gets the text message and he's about to go check it but him and Robbe are laying together and Robbe gives him a small peck in the cheek and that's the sweetest little thing.

Favorite kiss that Sander initiates: The one in zaterdag 9:41 hands down! It's the one that stands up for me, he just spins Robbe around and kisses him while saying that iconic line... it's perfect

Favorite Sander dialogue: “Jou en Ik, 100% altijd, in elk universum” if that isn't the best thing to say in that moment I don't know what is...also "I'm holding you and I'm never letting you go" in zaterdag 9:41 is a strong contender and "Just because other people are narrow-minded, doesn't mean you have to make your world smaller" that's an unbelievable line and it makes me think alot everytime. Sander has so many amazing lines

Favorite Robbe dialogue: The few lines he said in maandag 11:03 are amazing and I think it's the best thing he could've said then, also have to mention the famous comeback “Where's the manager when you need him?” that's iconic!

Favourite hug: Between Sobbe it's undoubtedly the one in maandag 11:03, so soft and sweet and it was the comfort Sander needed but I also have to say the hug between Robbe and Milan in maandag 7:54 is so good aswell and Robbe really needed it then.

Favorite 21:21: How am I supposed to choose this?? Okay I love both but I'll say woensdag 21:21, it's their first kiss, the moment Robbe breaks all his internal barriers and kisses the guy he is in love with. Plus we get to to see new parts of Antwerp like the tunnel or the pool at night and it's just them two and silent city. It's beautiful clip✨

Favorite Sobbe Instagram photo: The three b&w photos Sander posted for Robbe's birthday :) Not only was that an amazing way to end the day but it was also the first big date I caught while in the fandom so it means alot more to me. And I'm still not over those posts, the fact they are blurry like they were taken without preparing, just naturally, that's the type of posts I love the most.

Favorite scene x song pair: It's probably maandag 11:03 and wildfire. Firstly I love the song and that's the reason my bio has a line from in it and then...both versions playing starting in the slow one and then picking up as we see the scenes from their relationship, I get chills every time and I love that clip and song so much. Wondering romance in vrijdag 21:21 is perfect for the moment aswell :)

Favorite message between Robbe and Sander: It's the wtfockdown ones, every single one of them. The videos Sander sent to Robbe were just amazing. I wasn't here in s3 so I missed most of their messages then but I do remember the one where Robbe is going shopping with Zoë and Sander tells him he is the only gift he needs. Please...my heart

Favorite banter on Instagram: pretty much everything BUT the emoji convo in their anniversary post was amazing and the “photograph me like one of your french girls” that's an amazing one and I remember all of us wanting to throw water at Robbe xjjcdjdjdk.

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I'm pretty sure I'm the last person doing this cause of my break but I'm very happy I decided to do it late or not cause it was very fun, if you haven't done this and want to consider yourself tagged by me cause I don't know who to tag. Lot's of love to all💛

#thank you Laurien for the tag💛#this was so (hard) cool to make!#tag games⚡

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ayellowcurtain · 3 years

Text

The Sobbe gamers friends-to-lovers series

So even the prompt request has smut in it so this is a warning! Don’t read after this line!!! And the prompt has some dirty talking

Imagine Robbe and the broerrrs at chipotle or something and Robbe gets a text from sander about how he’s gonna fuck him when they have date night later that evening and so when they get to ordering he lies and says he’s not hungry cuz he doesn’t want to eat a burrito before bottoming and his friends call him out because he was starving minutes ago until he finally says why and Jens breaks out laughing but it takes a while for moyo and Aaron to figure out what he means

“Fuck…” Robbe exhales, leaning against the wall already like it’s too much work to stand on his own, “I’m tired.”

Sander purrs, standing in front of him, playing with his hair, “If I say sorry I won’t mean it…”

This is a nice surprise. Robbe wishes he had it every day: a sudden pull while he was walking out of school, only to find Sander inside the bathroom, smiling so confident, checking every bathroom stall to make sure they were really alone before locking them inside of one, looking at Robbe in surrender while he pushed his bag out of his shoulder and fell on his knees, all at the exact same time.

Robbe blushes a little, holding Sander by the front of his shirt, pulling him even closer because it feels like they’re never close enough “What will my friends say when I tell them I’m suddenly not hungry anymore?”

Sander lifts his eyebrows while looking down, trying to create more space so they can stand flat against each other, he carefully pushes his bag to the back of the stall so it won’t be right under them. Sander has a plan. And he teased Robbe about it every time he would stop what he was doing to give Robbe another piece of the puzzle.

He was going to meet the boys outside when Sander pulled him inside the bathroom all of a sudden. They were going out to eat, and Robbe planned on going home after that, to check if Sander was home from his classes too so they could play a little bit of video game.

Robbe was missing him terribly, spending a week with him was like a small taste of what a perfect life would be. It was almost a daily event: Sander would always fall asleep while lying his head against Robbe’s stomach. He’s one of those that needs a little nap after lunch. He says it doesn’t happen as often when Robbe is not around. The last thing in his mind was that Sander would be here, inside his school, ready to keep his hostage for a few minutes, definitely not long enough to cure how badly Robbe misses him.

“That you’re a lucky guy with an empty stomach.” Sander kisses him softly, creating a line of kisses all the way to his cheek, “That you have someone missing you so desperately much, that this person wants you nice and healthy, not too full because you’ll...need a lot of energy later to spend with them.”

Robbe wraps his arms around Sander’s neck and he’s about to say fuck it, and ask Sander to go home with him already, meet his friends some other time for lunch, go home and introduce him to his mom just so they don’t have to say goodbye now when they could very well start their date night earlier.

“I can skip my classes today...we could play some video-game…” Sander whispers against his ear, biting it lightly, making Robbe close his eyes, scratching the back of Sander’s neck to ask him to keep doing that.

They move like a magnet, meeting in the middle for a sudden and heated kiss, pressing Robbe against the wall that moves a little with how hard Sander pushed him suddenly. The last thing they would do if they changed their plans would be play video games.

“Go see your friends before I keep you here forever. And text me what they think of your lack of hunger.” Sander squeezes his ass and smiles coyly against his lips, “I think it’s cute.”

Robbe pushes him back until Sander hits the wall on the other side, as far away from him as the tiny bathroom lets them be, and he opens the door, grabbing his backpack on the floor and drags it out the small space he has to leave the stall, throwing it over his shoulder once he’s near the sinks, adjusting his hoodie, “If you don’t want me here anymore you can just say it.”

Sander snorts, grabbing Robbe’s arm while he’s trying to escape and he pulls him closer a little too fast, crashing their bodies together again in the middle of the bathroom, not caring if anyone can come in and see it.

“I want you here all the time, me inside of you would be perfect.” He whispers and Robbe sighs, closing his eyes for a second too long.

“Okay...I really should go now.” Robbe kisses his cheek as best as he can while still feeling out of it, thinking about other things, stepping back and Sander holds his hand, his fingertips when he takes another step back, “My friend offered me a room at her place...maybe you could help me with the move next weekend if you’re not too busy...”

Sander smiles, unable to hold Robbe, and he sighs, not very excited to think about moving when they both want to be doing better things right this instant, “It’ll be my pleasure.”

“I’ll text you the address when she sends it to me.”

Sander finally grabs his bag too, opening the door properly so he can step out and join Robbe in the main area of the bathroom, “I’ll bring you a house warming gift…”

Robbe lifts his eyebrows and Sander laughs, “A very comfortable bed.”

“Don’t spend your money on me.”

“I want to.” Sander steps closer, with that hoarse voice and Robbe steps back, stumbling over nothing on the floor.

“Just take your sweet, handsome, sexy body and help me and that’ll be enough.”

“I miss you already.” Robbe rushes to give Sander one last kiss, walking away too fast and Sander can’t hold him, push him inside and lock the door. He can only watch Robbe finally walk away, the old door taking some time to fully close, letting Sander watch Robbe turning his phone back on, looking over his shoulder at Sander and smiling.

“Thought the toilet had swallowed you.” Jens complains, and Robbe laughs because someone else did. He adjusts his bag on his shoulder.

“Sorry, I had to take a call…”

Moyo looks at him, really looks at him, frowning as deep as he can, trying to find something that Robbe doesn’t understand.

“Is that a secret code for you to tell us you were sharing a handjob with your boyfriend over the phone?”

“What?! No!”

Jens makes some fake sounds like he’s about to puke, walking around to breath a little bit and Robbe rolls his eyes.

“You’re so horny, bro! I get it!” Aaron nods his head like they’re aren’t talking about handjobs like it’s a mundane sobject.

“I wasn’t doing that! Who do you think I am?”

“A horny dog that now has a boyfriend.”

Robbe shakes his head, trying hard not to think of what he was actually doing.

“I’m not gonna eat but I’ll keep you guys company.”

Now they all look at him, and Robbe knows he won’t be able to pull this one off that well. He can’t bring himself to care that much about it though. Sander is still inside the school, and he’ll meet Robbe later. And they’ll spend the whole night doing far better things than a quick and dirty session in the school bathroom just to get their more desperate hormones out of their way. They’ll take their time, and have to keep each other quiet so his mom won’t hear them and ruin everything.

“You were starving ten minutes ago! Complaining for hours about how you wanted to eat.”

“I know…” He looks around. “But while I was on the phone I had a little snack so I can wait until I get home.”

Moyo rolls his eyes, not caring about his excuses because they are all hungry now. So they start walking to the nearest fast-food place and Jens bumps into Robbe when they’re almost there and Robbe looks at him, noticing how slow Jens is walking suddenly. He changes his pace too and soon they’re a good five, six feet away from Moyo and Aaron, talking loudly about something, always looking like they’re fighting when they’re just talking.

“You had a snack in the bathroom…while on the phone, huh?”

Robbe laughs with the way he says it, and he feels himself blushing, avoiding to meet Jens’ curious eyes, he keeps looking forward.

“Yes…?”

“Sure, Robbe. Yeah. A little snack and a conversation on the phone can really give you that I-just-came face. Yeah, right.”

“What the fuck?! I don’t have an I just came face!”

Jens sighs loudly, and he puts his hand on Robbe’s chest, stopping both of them.

“Bro, you have shit on your pants.”

Robbe freezes, looking down, pulling his jeans everywhere to look for what Jens is talking about. He overheats instantly when he notices there’s nothing there. He didn’t check when he left the bathroom because...Sander was sure to clean everything. With his mouth.

“Now you do have an I just came face.”

Robbe pushes Jens away and starts walking again.

#wtfock #robbe ijzermans #sander driesen #sobbe #robbe x sander

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lucidpantone · 3 years

Note

I really hate the crew of wtfock for what they did to me. I was such a fan of the show since s1, I found happiness in every clips, every posts on insta, I found amazing people on tumblr, twitter, but everything went downhill in s4, I could not accept Kato as a main, I'm a proud black girl and this season broke my heart to the max. The inexcusable racism, the hidden hate towards POCs on social medias, the silencing voices... I even started to dislike some actors for being friends with Romi when she was the one who accepted to take away the role of a POC, to accept to play a racist girl and have discriminatory behaviour in 2020 of all that, and to even joke on her insta just because her friend said it was ok and she didn't even apologise when we called her out for it. Yeah they ruined my happiness and I can't even be happy when I see a wtfock post now. To even have Nora do a live and defend the season, saying that it's a prejudice based one ? Hurts me so much. And not even one excuses coming from the crew, nothing, it hurts deeply. I can't even enjoy anymore the beautiful fanfics that the fandom write. I read every zoenne and sobbe fics but now I don't even bother checking if there is new fic. I hate them for taking my happiness off me. They're starting to go downhill too with the lack of insta posts from their characters and only die hard fans of sobbe are here now let's be honest. Yasmina's season can't be saved if there is still Kato but a glimpse of sobbe will make the fandom shut up and they know it. It's sad and I'm so upset about it. Sorry for the rant but I so badly wanted to talk.

This is insanely long but these words are for my anon

Oh dear.....well am happy you told me and the looney tunes. I can’t say I blame you because s4 is so toxic and cruel on so many levels. You know some people will say its just a show “let it go” but I think what people don’t realize is what this show that you clearly loved tells you about the world at large. That even shows, brands, movements and celebrities can harbor questionable morality towards issues of race. S4 ended up being an exercise in showing [us/the audience] how morally corrupt the bosses of wtfock truly are and how at end of the day all those black boxes on instagram mean nothing when it comes to money. Because guess what? Platforming racist ideology does have a price and wtfock made it very clear that they got paid. Look am gonna tell you something that my anons have been saying in a coded way but havent said directly but lets just put it all on the table.

S4 when Romi took the role it was not pitched as a season exploring interracial relationships or white privilege. It was never meant to be that. So Romi had no way in knowing what it would turn into. After the premiere night production panicked because they saw everyones disappointment towards the main(it should have been Moyo & everyone knows it even they do now) and took a hard left. Noa was meant to be Romi’s co-star but it was never meant to have all these racial undertones or not as extreme. The reason the script changed is because wtfock wanted to keep this whole “small engine that could” rapport going that they literally made the last minute call to try to tackle race relations. I mean to you and I we are probably like are these people for real? They are just gonna try to tackle race and white privilege as a story arc without having done the sufficient research and or had the man power in the writing room concerning writers with lived experienced on the topic. Yea, they did that. So anyways they “just decided” on a whim to tackle race *facepalm*. Now that decision in itself is an embodiment of white privilege. A bunch of white dudes wanted woke points and thought “race” yea we can totally do that topic unprepared. Hence why episode 2/3 were so damn repetitive and also literally made no sense. Am sure they pitched this to Romi as some super intellectual and thoughtful narrative that would hold deeper meaning. So I am not defending her instagram actions but I want to give her situation a bit of context. Also am pretty sure she tried to tell us in a round about way. Her insta post was just a display in lacking any awareness towards the importance and pain of BLM because she obviously just lacks race education or common sense but she is a 22 year old brand model so am not really looking for her to set an example. To me wtfock became in some weird way so high on fandom validation that they were egotistical enough to think they could try to tackle this insanely complex topic on a whim and with a 1st time screenwriter at that. S4 was doomed to fail from the start because it was a literal embodiment of unconscious bias that then turned into conscious bias because at one point they knew it was terrible while filming but they were too deep in to pull the plug. You are so in your right to be upset at them because to me the most hurtful thing is that THEY KNOW IT WAS BAD and they won’t address it and now they are going to use their token queer couple to try and fix this. Leave the gays out of it. You can’t fix racism with queerness it doesn’t work that way buddy(am looking at you Rutgers) especially for those who are part of both parties. Do I think a large part of the fan base will “forgive” wtfock for what they did? Probably, but its weird since technically wtfock should be asking their fans who are poc for forgiveness above anyone else. I guess I am not as pissy about the whole situation because am either cynical or emotionally numb to this type of fuckery. I would say concerning the cast and the crew it really isnt their fault. I hear from good sources a lot of them tried to say something and they were shut down. Look if you cant let this go then try to find some semblance of resolve over this. You’re allowed to be mad but at the same time this is the world we live in and this will happen to you again and again (trust me I speak from experience). I do hope you can try to find some comfort in Zoenne and Sobbe and try not to see the cronies of wtfock in their love stories but if you can’t then pack all their shit up and throw it in the attic. Maybe one day you can reopen that box. Last words of advice, happiness is a moving target because in reality it’s a compilation of moments that continuously mutate to accommodate other moments. So don't let s4 taint what moments you had with wtfock and try to remember the things you loved and if you need to walk then walk away. I wish I could give you the biggest hug right now but trust me when I say what you feel is so valid and am so happy you spoke to me about it.

#lucidpantone anons #anon I want to give you a hug so badly

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nbrook29 · 3 years

Note

11 goofy kiss pls<33

4, 7 for Sobbe omg👀💫👀💫 your talent kgnfjfnlfkf ...

Can you do 15 or 20? Or both for sobbe

Sooo this isn't really on the list of prompts but maybe you could write something about Robbe being totally obsessed with Sander's pouty bottom lip - whenever he sees it he has to pounce on it and kisses/bites/touches/pulls on it. Sander is either turned into a wreck or he teasingly indulges Robbe's obsession

Hi! :)

based on But do you REALLY want the K?

Goofy kiss + Eyelid kiss + Distract kiss + Shut up kiss + Asker’s Choice

In hindsight, Robbe should have seen it coming.

When his school announced that they had received funding to organize free 6-month workshops for their students and local college students after hours, it got his interest right away. Especially when it turned out that the offered courses focused on more niche subjects.

Robbe has always felt some inexplicable fascination with Scandi culture, Norwegian in particular. In fact, ever since he discovered the multiverse theory he’s been half-convinced there must be a Norwegian version of him existing somewhere out there, which would explain this unusual interest of his.

So when he was scanning the list of available courses and his eyes caught Norwegian 101, his heart beat a little faster and he giddily signed up right away.

And then Sander signed up too, claiming that a) if there’s a Norwegian version of Robbe there must be a Norwegian version of Sander too, thank you very much, so it is his duty to learn a little bit of his alter ego’s language, and b) it’s going to be a perfect opportunity for them to make up for the fact that they didn’t experience being in high school together. He’s always all pouty when he talks about it, mourning all those lost opportunities of them making out against a window sill in biology classroom or having secret meetings in the bathroom during class and demands compensation in the form of extra long makeout sessions in Robbe’s bed.

Robbe doesn’t exactly mind, neither the joint classes nor kissing the pout away, which always effectively shuts him up. Quite the contrary actually. Ever since Sander texted him a screenshot of the participants list with DRIESEN SANDER under D, he’s been all hyped up at the prospect of the two of them studying together.

His friends don’t exactly understand why he’s willing to spend his free time in their school building but at least Yasmina shows interest in the workshops as well, signing up for a few, Norwegian included.

He and Sander are the first ones to arrive to the Monday session, and when Sander notices that the classroom is still empty he wiggles his eyebrows grinning at Robbe cheekily, spins him around in a swift move and pins him to the window sill, his hands going around his thighs to make him sit down on it.

“Is this everything you dreamed about and more?” Robbe chuckles at the delighted look on Sander’s face, legs snaking around his waist to hold him tighter.

“Yes, I got you right where I want you,” he replies smugly and doesn’t wait another second before pressing a tiny kiss to his lips, then another one, and another, until Robbe makes a soft noise of protest making Sander finally give in and kiss him properly, dipping his tongue past his lips in no time. Robbe lets one of his hands slip down, making his path down his back over the black denim jacket, stopping barely above Sander’s belt, and then without second-guessing himself goes down even lower to give his butt a firm squeeze, because it’s just so... deliciously squeezable.

They only break apart when they hear someone clearing their throat and when Robbe catches the sight of Yasmina regarding them with amusement, he quickly disentangles himself from Sander, wiping at his mouth with poorly hidden embarrassment. Sander is unfazed, as always, turning around with a swagger and shooting Yasmina one of his most charming smiles. She’s not a sucker for it though, contrary to Robbe, so she just fondly rolls her eyes shaking her head at their antics.

The classroom starts to fill in quickly after and before they realize the only empty seats left are placed in the back. Only Yasmina manages to snatch herself one closer to the front. Sander graciously allows Robbe to take the only unoccupied spot in the sixth row and he himself marches over to row eight.

The first hour and a half flies by and Robbe is having more fun than he anticipated. The teacher, Vilde, is young, she’s quirky in that positive way and her approach to the subject differs from what Robbe is used to during his regular classes.

He takes notes diligently and tries to participate as much as possible but he struggles with pronunciation when asked for reading a few words out loud. When Vilde asks Sander to read them, he does it with flying colors, the jerk, and the girl is so impressed that she calls him a natural, praising his perfect pronunciation of “engelsk” and “kjole” while smiling a bit too much and too wide at him. In Robbe’s humble opinion.

Once she goes back to writing on the board, he turns around to see Sander giving him a shit-eating grin so he does the only right thing in this situation and sticks his tongue out at him.

They are two hours in when Robbe gets hit in the ear with a small paper ball which then lands perfectly in the middle of his notebook. He throws a glance at the obvious suspect but Sander seems to be deep into copying the grammar rules from the board to his MacBook.

His elegant handwriting gives him away though.

Du er digg 🖤

Vilde mentioned that last word just five minutes ago, more as a fun fact than anything else but of course Sander caught and remembered it.

He’s fighting against the beaming smile that threatens to take over his face because he doesn’t want to look like a lunatic to everybody around. Sander isn’t bothered by things like that though so when Robbe looks at him again he’s resting his chin on his hand, staring at him unabashedly with a grin of his own as he notices the flush on Robbe’s cheeks.

He tells him as quietly as he can to quit distracting him to which Sander raises his arms in surrender and with a feigned-serious expression busies himself with the given exercise. If Robbe then tucks the note into the back of his notebook no one needs to know.

Not even a full five minutes pass when another paper ball lands on his desk. Robbe heaves a long-suffering sigh and raises his eyes to the heavens because yes, now he has to deal with a rebel of a boyfriend.

When he straightens out the note, he snorts.

Do you like me?

Circle YES or NO

🖤

Seems like Sander is having lots of fun acting out this high school romance fantasy.

He decides to indulge him and reaches for a red ink pen to circle YES. Then, he adds a bunch of crooked hearts (because he’s not the artist in this relationship) on a whim. Once he makes sure Vilde isn’t looking in their direction, he throws the note back to Sander, but not without catching the disapproving look from Yasmina who rolls her eyes so hard Robbe is surprised they aren’t stuck. He just shrugs at her without remorse.

Sander opens the paper ball as delighted as a child opening their Christmas gift and when he sees the answer he pretends to swoon in his chair, blowing him a long kiss from above his notes.

“Sander, I think you should be paying attention.” Vilde’s reproach pulls Robbe from gazing at his boyfriend like a love-struck puppy and he immediately shoots him a cheeky grin because it’s just really satisfying to watch him being scolded by a teacher.

“Yes, yes, you’re right,” Sander clears his throat as he straightens on his chair before he glances at his laptop and adds with a smirk, “Or, rather, Du har rett, Vilde.”

Then he winks at her and his confident demeanor clearly succeeds to appease her because she starts to wax lyrical about his oh so amazing pronunciation again.

Ugh. What a show off.

Though, Robbe has to admit that it sounds kinda hot when he speaks Norwegian but it’s not like he’s going to go and tell him that. Instead, he reaches for his phone to shoot him a quick text.

R: You’re such a teacher’s pet oh my god

R: Also stop flirting with her, she’s seconds away from swooning

S: Are we jealous?

R: Yes, very, I’m worried you’re gonna run away to norway with her and have viking children together 🤭

S: 😘

There is no bell signaling the end of the class but at 17:15 Vilde thanks them for today’s lesson and everybody starts to pack and gradually leave. Robbe is shoving his stuff into his backpack when he feels fingers in his hair pulling his head back without real force to angle it better. Then, Sander places a big loud smooch on his lips making him giggle and swipe at him lightly.

“You’re such a dork.”

He reaches to put the strands hanging over his forehead back in their place, scratching at his scalp a little and when Sander leans into the touch, closing his eyes with a pleased purr, he stands on his tiptoes and presses a tiny kiss to his left eyelid, which earns him one of Sander’s sweetest smiles.

Once his bag is packed, they leave the classroom with their index fingers entwined, swaying their hands a little as they walk. “So, did you like that class?”

Sander nods. “Yeah, it was cool. You?”

“You know, I thought those three hours are gonna be a bitch but it was actually pretty fucking nice.”

Sander pushes his tongue in his cheek, wiggling his eyebrows at him. “And did you like my notes?”

Robbe pretends to scrunch up his face, trying not to laugh at Sander’s offended huff. “Hey! Well, okay then, if you’re like that I’m not gonna send you any next time.”

He juts out his bottom lip and honestly, it’s Robbe’s kryptonite, and he’s long made peace with a fact that he’s weirdly obsessed with it; it’s just so plush and enticing and he has spent hours upon hours kissing and biting it, the fact that it made Sander go weak in the knees for him an additional bonus.

So Robbe uses it against him to distract him from pouting, and this time it’s him who pushes Sander against the wall close to the school exit. He pulls their bodies together, delighted at the surprised hitch in Sander’s breath when he sticks out his tongue to drag it along his bottom lip, pulling it with his teeth to nip it a little, to then soothe the sting with his tongue again. He can feel his ministrations are starting to work and with each second Sander is turning into a pile of goo in his arms.

A voice in the back of his head tells him the school corridor is probably not the best place for this so he eventually pulls back and drags him away from the wall to the school yard. Sander follows him but not without half-hearted protests that stop only when Robbe kisses him hard to shut him up in the middle of the school yard.

“Come on, there’s a bed in my room with our names on it and my mom works until 20 tonight.”

“Is there a shower with our names on it too?”

“If you’re good,” Robbe pretends to think about it, “then I guess that can be arranged.”

#wtfock #wtfock fanfic

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if-you-built-yourself-a-myth · 3 years

Text

Check Ignition: Part IX

That Sobbe fake-dating Hogwarts au that one person asked for and I dove into headfirst

First part // Previous part // Next part

This fic is wrapping up and I love writing longform, so send me your new requests! (or ideas for oneshots, I love those too)

Robbe was ashamed to admit many of the things that made his apartment home. Here it was, the truth of it: everything here was in some way tainted by sickness. He didn’t talk about it while he was at school. He didn’t talk about school while he was here. It made sense to keep the two lives distinctly separate, save from a few consolation sessions with Jens and the occasional fact for Sander.

He bumped his shoulders on the narrow doorframe as he lugged his trunk inside, his mother right behind him. In the entryway, on a tiny side table, three bottles of prescription medication waited their arrival. Each had a sticky note designating the time of next dose. Past that, the hall led straight to a kitchen at its end. Three rooms—two bedrooms, one bathroom—broke off before then. Their living room branched from the kitchen, big enough for a couch and a flatscreen TV as well as a small-ish Christmas tree.

This apartment worked in a way that his friends’ magic-filled homes did not. Sure, when his father was around, they never did the dishes manually or resorted to blankets when the heating went out, but it wasn’t what Jens had. Perhaps that was why Robbe did not see Jens much over the holidays.

Robbe crossed the threshold to his bedroom and dropped his things on his bed. His thoughts returned, as they were wont to do, to Sander. Sander must be all alone at Hogwarts right now. Robbe didn’t know what to make of him.

“It’s Christmas,” said Robbe aloud to jar himself from that rabbit trail. He put away everything that mattered. Scattered everything that didn’t across the floor. There, now it felt like his dormitory at school.

Against his better judgement, he scrawled out something on a scrap of paper. Maybe if he could contact Sander, things would make more sense. Or maybe he was stupid. Either way. A simple tracking spell, an open window, and it would zip its way to its recipient at Hogwarts. He doubted he’d get in trouble for such a simple use of underage magic.

Happy Christmas. Sorry you have to spend it alone. Yeah, it totally didn’t sound sarcastic.

Robbe let the message go. He watched it disappear over the London skyline, dancing above the twinkling lights of the city. This view had nothing on the view from Hogwarts. After that, he was exhausted from exams week. He curled up on his mattress—the sheets on this one were a nice touch—and went right to sleep. There was time for life to happen tomorrow, and he didn’t fancy making conversation with his mother so soon into their two weeks of forced proximity.

***

Robbe spent most of the next days hiding out in his bedroom. Jens took care of his required communication rather early in their separation; the owl arrived at Robbe’s window before lunchtime the second day: Robbe, my parents invited Jana for Christmas dinner. She'd going to be there. Please inform me of your plans as soon as possible, so I can join you instead. Not really. I honestly think we're going to get back together. Wow, it sounds dumb as I write it. Have a Happy Christmas, if I don't write again before then, and make sure you eat all your vegetables. Love, Jens. Robbe hastily scrawled a reply and sent it right back: Jens, I never have any plans. You can come whenever you want to. Love, Robbe.

Around dinnertime on the fourth day, Robbe walked back into the hallway and down to the kitchen, where his mother poured hot chocolate powder in two mugs. She dumped a can of soup into a pot and set it to simmer on the burner, stirring occasionally, while she microwaved a measuring cup of water. Something rammed into the window at full force, startling her into dropping her spoon.

She put a hand on her forehead as if checking for fever. “Robbe, what was that?”

“Owl, Mom,” said Robbe. He tried not to be frustrated with her. There was just so much on his plate, and he wasn’t supposed to be here, because he was supposed to be with Sander at school. If Sander was doing okay.

Robbe’s mother had never gotten the hang of a magical household. Robbe didn’t have the right to be bitter about it.

“Should I open the window?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

His mother slid the window open. A barn owl flapped into the apartment building, despite their landlord’s explicit animal-of-any-kind prohibition. It landed on top of their refrigerator and ruffled its brown and white feathers. Clutched in its beak was a folded piece of parchment, tied with a long twine thread, sealed with a stamp of red wax. Robbe recognized the owl from the Hogwarts owlery. They were general-use.

He jumped up to take the note. Jens did not usually send two owls in one day. Aaron’s owl was white.

“I’ll never get used to that,” said his mother as the owl flew back out the window. An alarm on her cell phone beeped several times. “Oh, pills. I’ll be right back.” She rushed into the foyer.

Robbe surveyed the apartment in her absence. A sprig of mistletoe hung over the space connecting the kitchen to the living room. Several wrapped presents rested beneath the tree, one or two with his name in brightened cursive that he could see from this far away. He spotted the special picture ornament he made for his mother when he was little, the photograph of her and him riding on a swing in a public park. They used to get along.

He looked down at the paper in his hands and broke the seal.

There were no words written. Only a telephone number. Jens and Aaron did not have phones in their houses; muggle technology was useless in areas permeated with magic. Moyo owned one for clout purposes, sometimes, and this could be him—except, he did not use the school’s owls if he could help it. He borrowed from Jens.

That left one person who might want to contact Robbe.

“Alright, soup,” said his mother, reentering the kitchen. “Tonight, I was thinking we should catch up on TV. Honestly, I don’t know how you survive without it at Hogwarts.”

“There are other things to do,” said Robbe.

“Maybe, but not as exciting.” She took the soup pot from the burner and poured it into two bowls, which she then carried into the living room. They stored a small folding table under the couch. She set it up like a coffee table and left their bowls there. If they had any class, they might have the money to afford something made of wood, at least.

“Can I actually—” Robbe began. He gestured to the phone number.

“You’re spending your quality time with me,” said his mother. She patted the spot beside her on the couch. “C’mon. I’ve been recording everything. Oh, hang on.” She waited until he sat down to lean over. “What’s been going on at school. Tell me all about it. You never write.”

“You never got used to owls.”

“That’s an awful reason.”

“Nothing important happens,” he assured her. “I’d write if it mattered.”

“Nothing? No one special?”

“No, Mom, nothing you’d want to hear about.”

“You know I don’t believe that,” she said. “Handsome boy like you.” But she sat back and turned on the television. Christmastime here was TV shows, silence, dancing around one another. This was why Robbe would’ve liked to stay on campus with Sander, when Sander still wanted him there. If Sander ever wanted him there. They watched three whole episodes of Call the Midwife without saying a single word to each other.

Robbe’s mother was a good person. He knew she was a good person. She tried so hard to be things for him, to be involved in his life. He understood her illness wasn’t her fault at a basic level. He understood that he was wrong to be angry about an innocent, poking question that any parent would have likely posed.

But there was a part of him missing that she couldn’t give back after she’d taken it. What kind of parent leaves their fourteen-year-old in the house to care for everything while she lies in bed all summer? What kind of parent—

There was someone special, there was Sander. Sander and his mother were apart because they needed to be, because school and home did not mix.

Robbe rose from the couch during the credits of the third and motioned apologetically to his mother. He pointed toward the bathroom. On the way there, he snatched her phone from the kitchen counter. His fingers shook as he dialed the number.

Someone picked up on the second ring. “I just got home,” said Robbe. He didn’t know why he felt so bad about not calling sooner.

“You got my letter,” said Sander. Robbe’s heart turned into a dozen origami butterflies. He tried to catch them in a net and stomp them underfoot.

“Owls are cool,” Robbe said.

“How are you?”

“I’m good. How are you?”

“Good.”

The line went silent. Was that it? Did Sander send a whole-ass latter to hear Robbe’s voice for two seconds? Kind of romantic, yes, but it didn’t do anything to fix anything. Robbe couldn’t reconcile the way Sander spoke to him with the way Sander acted around him, the way Sander acted around other people.

This could have been their time. Two whole weeks of kissing, or whatever it was couples did went they were unsupervised.

“Listen,” said Sander. “I’ve been thinking.” His sentences took on a sort of pregnant quality, as if each contained multitudes more within it. Sander was fighting down dozens of others to say each one.

“About what?”

“About, um, you. I guess.” Sander cleared his throat. “You really liked me?”

“I guess so.”

“How is—how’s your mother?”

Robbe didn’t know where something like that would come from. “She’s fine for now. We’re watching Call the Midwife.”

Sander’s laugh sounded forced. “My mother likes that too. Is it… not good to be there?”

“Well, she hasn’t drowned me in a bathtub yet. You sound like you have something to say.”

“I was thinking we could just—talk.”

What the hell was this? “Sander,” said Robbe, doing his very best to sound like a prefect. “It was a Christmas card. If you have something to say—” He tried to channel the voice Jens used when he was disappointed after a Quidditch match, the kind of steely cool that could only come from a place of care. As it was, he knew Sander could hear the hope festering beneath his skin. He wants to tell me he loves me.

“I—I don’t have anything to say,” said Sander, but it was an obvious lie.

“Then I’ll hang up.” Robbe braced himself against the bathroom counter. Polished marble reflected his face almost as clearly as the mirror ahead. “I said I didn’t want to be friends. I can’t handle being friends yet.”

“No, don’t hang up.”

“Any more questions about Mom?”

Sander’s breath caught. “You don’t like me.”

“Not this again.”

“No, really, you don’t.” Sander spoke faster. “You said so. I don’t know, when it was fake, I thought—” He coughed. “I can’t go back to nothing.”

“I said I liked you,” said Robbe. “You don’t make any sense.”

“Yes, but—”

“Did you really send an owl back to talk me out of a crush? Or are you in love with my mom?”

“No, I—”

“Good.” Robbe knocked his toothbrush cup off the sink, sending it clattering to the floor. He heard his mother shifting around in the living room, poised to come check on him any minute. This conversation would have to end sooner rather than later. “I have to go. If you’ve still got something, spit it out.”

There were a few seconds of silence. Robbe could hear the beginnings of a sentence several times, nothing quite reaching the air.

“Okay,” he said. “Goodbye.” He tapped the end button. That might have been a little harsh, yes, but it was Christmas. The couch and Call the Midwife awaited. He rejoined his mother in the living room, leaving her cell phone plugged into its charger beside their toaster.

They watched another whole episode. It pained him to think of her loitering about the house while he was gone, rearranging the cabinets and recording television shows, even if he hated the thought of staying with her more. He didn’t get Sander’s interest… come to think of it, Sander was concerned about her during their make-out session in the workshop.

The phone started ringing.

“I’ve got it,” said Robbe, before his mother could get off the couch. This time, he took it all the way to his bedroom and locked the door to answer it.

Sander was quieter this time. “You called the number.”

“It would have been rude not to. You didn’t sign it. It could have been anybody.”

“You knew who it was.”

There wasn’t much to say to that, so Robbe waited instead of responding. Sander filled the gap after a while, in something even smaller than a whisper, something that sent shivers down Robbe’s spine. “I miss you.” A whistle sounded somewhere in the distance.

Too much. Ugh, why did Robbe think he could handle something like this? He did what he always did when Sander was involved: he was honest. “Look, you don’t make any sense to me. I hear from Noor that you’re head-over-heels in love with me, I hear from you that you’re back with Britt. Well, you’re not, so I’m hearing you’re a liar, too.” Robbe bit his lip to keep from getting choked up. “We barely even had anything, Sander, but I loved every second. You can’t keep pulling on my strings, okay? I can’t handle it.”

“I don’t mean to be pulling,” said Sander. Something ruffled against the receiver. “Your mother, though, she—”

“Good, then don’t bother calling again unless you have something new to tell me. Goodbye.” Robbe smashed the end button this time, scratching the screen protector with his nail. He promised himself he’d fix it later, provided no one got him trouble for his magical Christmas card to Sander.

Back into the living room. His mother lay down across all the cushions and monopolized the space. She pulled a crocheted blanket across her legs, her eyes glassy as she stared at the TV. Robbe flashed back to his worst year again—getting up for school and seeing her there, unmoving.

The last Christmas they spent together, her medication mixture made her violently ill at the slightest hint of indigestion. That could happen this year, it could. There was too much going on in Robbe’s life to deal with her right now.

They’d make blueberry pancakes together. She’d microwave soup for dinner. This was his life.

The phone screen lit up once more with an incoming call from the number as before. Robbe let it ring out. Another came. When he let that ring, another. He answered on Sander’s fifth attempt.

“Please don't hang up this time. Your mother is sick,” blurted Sander on the other end, almost as if he read Robbe’s mind. If his speech was unhinged earlier, now it was a runaway train. “She’s sick and you hate her and I’m sick so you’ll hate me. That was it.” He took a deep breath and the phone line crackled—Hogwarts wouldn’t have the best reception, would it? “I have liked you for forever, okay? That’s my something new.”

Wow. Okay. What the fuck.

“What?” managed Robbe.

“That’s what I needed to say. Before. You don’t like me because you can’t. It has to be over because it can’t ever happen.” Sander’s voice lowered. “I thought it might hurt you less if you knew. But I also can't sit around and pretend that nothing's wrong.”

Robbe rehashed every conversation they ever had in a second. He did not talk about his mother much in any of those—he tried to keep her out of it. She frustrated him to no end. Her stupid pills, the stupid genetics that doomed him to a future of dealing with the same problems, his stupid father walking out. If it wasn’t for her, everything would be fine. But he didn’t—he didn’t hate her.

Why would Sander think he hated her? What was going on?

The library, the offhand comment on Lexapro. The workshop, how he said he didn’t want to return to her because she’d ruin Christmas. The way he referred to her on his and Sander’s second astronomy tower rendezvous: “sick in the head.” Every little thought he had about her.

“It was always going to be like this,” said Sander. Wind blew against his end of the phone; Robbe had to strain to hear most of the words. “I thought when it was fake, it could be okay, because, well, you know, but then you kissed me and I just—There’s no hiding it forever, is there? It's got to come out.”

“What did you say about my mom?” Robbe demanded.

“I stopped it because it isn't what you want.”

More than that. Britt came to Robbe in the astronomy tower with a slip of paper and a warning of sorts—He isn’t going to tell you. And what had Willem said to his friends, when Sander was asleep the day after they kissed? Was that something that just happened? Were there times that Willem couldn’t wake Sander up?

Robbe knew what that meant. Britt’s voice echoed in his head. It’s hard to tell between what he wants and what’s a symptom. He’d thought it controlling at the time, and it was, but he also understood the feeling. When you loved someone, you wanted to keep them safe. Robbe was a certified idiot. Puzzle pieces falling into place.

Sander did not slow down. “You were going to stay here with me to avoid being there with her. But we’re the same. We’ve always been the same. It’s bipolar, Robbe, and it’s fine that you don’t want it. What matters is that I can’t live with nothing from you, okay? We can’t just not talk.”

Robbe’s hand went numb from gripping the phone so hard.

“I don’t want you to hate me. I don’t want you to hate me like you hate your mom.”

“I don’t hate my mom,” said Robbe. “I won’t hate you—don’t hate you.” He felt bewildered, standing in the middle of his living room, with this crisis happening a whole train ride away. What the fuck was going on? His mother raised her eyebrow at him from her position on the couch.

“You do, you said so. And you’d hate me. I didn’t want to upset you, I didn’t—” Something in the background blared, loud enough to mask the rest of Sander’s sentence. Wind? Rain?

“Where are you?” Robbe asked. Britt’s piece of paper—what did it say? He should have taken the time to set it aside, stupid stupid stupid—

“This was stupid,” said Sander, suddenly even more rushed. “I’m sorry. I should have sent another letter. I let Jens talk me into it—” Robbe waved his wand in the general direction of his bedroom—the Ministry of Magic could expel him for underage sorcery—and summoned Britt’s paper. Still a mess of cursive lines. Still blurry.

His mother made a face like, is everything okay? He nodded back.

“I’m putting too much on you,” Sander continued on the phone. “I don’t want to be another thing you have to worry about. That’s why it has to be over. We’re over. But I don’t want to never hear from you again. That’s not what I want.”

“Are you alright?” Robbe whispered.

“I’m fine. I’m, out--” Sander sounded a million miles away in a snowstorm. The end of the sentence got lost. "Moyo and Jens said you'd be here, and free, so...I'm in love with you. This is my something new." The line clicked dead, although Robbe couldn't tell if it was Sander's decision to end the call or fate had intervened. His arms dropped to his sides, the phone to the floor. Something sounded at the door to the apartment. A knock? Robbe remained rooted to the spot.

There wasn't a list he could put together for this situation. He did not hate his mother. Sometimes he hated her. He hated what her disorder did to her. He hated coming home and finding her somewhere, not doing anything, holding a glass of water without the will to bring it to her lips. He hated having to search all the cabinets for bowls when she reorganized their kitchen at three in the morning. Everything he said to Sander, he meant. Everything about her. That could be number one on the list. Number two, he loved Sander. Sometimes he convinced himself he didn't. He thought of his mother wasting away on their couch, lying about taking her pills, camping out on the bathroom floor during rough weeks. Home and school were supposed to be separate. He did not want to think of Sander throwing up blueberry pancakes after taking a handful of pills. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. He needed time to think.

The knocking came again, harder. Robbe walked over as if in a dream, barely touching the floor. He vaguely remembered Jens saying something in his letter about visiting, though this seemed short notice. He only said yes to the proposition because he knew Jens would never actually make good on the offer. Robbe opened the door to Sander, hair ruffled, eyes wild. Fucking Sander. What the fuck. Sander's brown roots were more visible than the bleach blond, even though they did not seem to be any longer. He wore the same leather jacket as their first date wrapped tight around his shoulders. In one hand, he held Moyo's broomstick— Robbe could recognize it by the scrapes on the wood. He had the same look on his face that he had that night in the dormitories when he was drunk and reaching out for Robbe. This wasn't happening. What the hell was happening?

"We need to talk to each other," said Sander, without pause for breath. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about everything, and I'll ruin anything else, I know I will, but you have to tell me we can."

#sobbe fanfic #wtfock #sander driesen #robbe ijzermans #hogwarts au #fake dating #requested fic

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