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jbbuckybarnes · 4 years

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Spiral of Feelings - 2/5

Pairing: Bucky x Reader AU: Fake Dating AU Description: Natasha makes you feel bad about being single and how your apartment looks. Sam and Steve annoy Bucky about dating. Seems only fair that you both fake it to show them that it doesn’t make a difference. But what if it does? Warnings: Judgemental friends, gossip, dating, flirting. Absolutely not proofread and written half a year ago, lol.

Masterlist // Spiral of Feelings Masterlist

You were lounging on the couch in the common room, editing the pictures of the previous day, when Bucky came in and jumped onto the couch next to you with a soft smile. “Hey.” You gave him a small smile, Wanda eyeing you both. “Hey,” he answered just as soft before grabbing a throw blanket for himself. “What are you doing?” He asked after he made himself cozy. “Editing pictures from our date.” You grinned, this all felt oddly easy. “Can you make them wallpaper size?” He asked dipping his head to the side. “Of course.” You faked blushing before falling back into the concentration of picture editing. “I read that there’s a meteor shower tonight, wanna watch it together?” You looked up from the phone and saw the corners of his lips go up. “I’d love to,” he answered nodding. “Gosh, you both are adorable.” Wanda chimed with a joyful voice. “Thanks Wan.” You faked blushing again, something you had learned for missions a while back. Getting a billionaire to believe you’re legit needs acting skills. Now they finally paid off. You cuddled yourself closer to your personal heater and he let you under his throw blanket that was wrapped around his shoulders. “Are you always this cold?” He chuckled while his hands wrapped around your feet that were even cold in the cozy socks you were wearing. “Well, yeah, it’s pretty much winter.” You giggled and got pulled closer. “Oh, which picture to you want as a wallpaper? The smile one or the one with the kiss on the cheek?” You held the display towards him. “That one.” He pointed at the one with the kiss and gave you a blushy smile back. “Thought so.” You grinned before leaning against him and having him watch while you made the wallpaper all decorated. “You look so adorable in it.” He whispered, you giggle in response, much to the liking of Wanda who watched you with an excited grin.

*So...do you actually wanna see the meteor shower or would you rather hang out in your room?* You wrote him a little later in the day. *Of course I wanna see it!* He answered, mainly enticed by your question including his comfort rather than your cause of faking a relationship. *I’ll bring snacks, see ya!* He picked is book back up while you were sorting through your snack drawer. “Bucky, huh?” You heard from your door.. “Leave me alone.” You grumbled. “Why so mad?” She grinned. “Nat, I swear. If you don’t leave my apartment I’ll attack you with chocolate bars!” You hissed. “Okay, okay, gosh.” Her arms went up and she walked backwards. “Come back when you don’t make me feel like shit anymore.” You closed the door. Nat had bombarded you with this topic for too long to now have the privilege of gossip. Shortly after you were searching for a specific pack of pop tarts, a very seasonal edition that you were slowly running out of. “God, I might actually have to get rid of all the trash in here,” you mumbled to yourself. Kitchen cabinet, garbage bag, a look at the packaging littered all throughout your kitchen and bedroom. “C’mon, you can do that,” you say with a deep breath, “Friday, play some motivating music.” And with 7 Rings by Ariana in the background you started searching for the sacred stash of your favorite pop tarts. After two garbage bags were filled and stored by your apartment door you finally found the last few boxes and held them up with a happy squeak. Three knocks, “You ready, sugar?” He couldn’t even end the sentence before you opened the door with a basket full of candy. “Yeah, yeah, I think just-...could you?” You held it out and he took it from you before watching you put on shoes. “Now. Now I’m ready.” You smiled reaching for the basket again but he held it away from you. “But…” “No, I’ll carry it.” “Have you watched a meteor shower before?” You looked up at him while walking towards the exit. “There was one the night before I was shipped off to Europe. After the Stark Expo and a little bit of dancing I just sat there and watched the sky.” His eyes were somewhere else and he had a comfortable smile on his face. “Did you...no, forget it, not important,” you mumbled. “No, now I wanna know.” He grinned. “Did you think you’d come back?” There was a thoughtful face for a second. “I hoped it, but I knew my chances were a good 50/50.” He shrugged. “That must’ve sucked,” you mumbled. “Yeah, it was...well, a different time.” He gave you a lopsided smile before coming to a hold in the middle of the darkness outside between the compound and the water nearby. “Well, I’m glad you’re here now to play an elaborate prank on all of our friends and don’t think it’s the weirdest thing ever.” You chuckled before sitting down on the comfortable laying bench Stark had put there. “Wait, I have a question.” He looked at you innocently and you nodded. “Can I wish something for every shooting star?” He dipped his head to the side. “I don’t make the rules, I’d say yes.” “Woah, there was one right behind you.” He pointed out and you giggled at his childlike excitement. After you made yourself comfortable and opened a M&M’s bag you started looking up. “There!” He pointed at it and you saw half of it in time. “Never not beautiful.” You mumbled with a little smile. “Yeah.” He looked over at you and then up. “There was another one, couldn’t yell in time.” You laughed. “Traitor.” He chuckled. “Hey, not everyone has super soldier reflexes.” You laughed and nudged him. “God, you’re cold,” he mumbled. “It’s okay, I’m used to it.” You smiled over at him but witnessed the hoodie he was wearing already half over his head, revealing a black shirt underneath. “Here.” He held it out. “I- You don’t have to. I don’t need to-” He shoved it at you with a raised eyebrow. “Fine,” you grumbled before putting it on and drowning in warmth and softness. “Am I that much bigger than you?” He raised both brows. “What do you mean?” “Well, you look so goddamn small in it.” He gave a cheeky grin. “You’re a giant, Buck.” You rolled your eyes before you both started chuckling and looked up again. “THERE WERE TWO AT ONCE!” You yelled out excited, not noticing the fond smile he gave you. “Does that mean two wishes?” “I guess. Hmm. Oh, I have two.” You closed your eyes and made two wishes. One was to do more with Bucky even when all of this is over and two was a dozen of his hoodies. A few more shooting stars later you were asleep. You were used to being cold so much that the hoodie functioned as a blanket to you. It was like he gave you a sleeping pill instead of a piece of clothing. You woke up the next morning in absolute warmth, the candy basket next to you and a little sticky note attached to it. *Thank you for watching shooting stars with me <3* The trashbags by your door were gone too, you started considering fake marrying him too, cause that was absolutely not his job and he did it anyway. *Might steal all of your hoodies, still considering why I shouldn’t do it.* You wrote him after fully waking up. *My closet is open to you...maybe don’t empty it completely.* You got out of your apartment and walked to the common area kitchen, since you knew they got donuts. The moment you entered the room some of your teammates stared at you. “What?” You grumbled still tired. “Isn’t that Barnes’ hoodie?” Sam pointed at you confused. “Yeah, have a problem with it, birdy?” You smirked before snatching a donut for yourself. Behind you, you heard another apartment door close and almost silent steps. “Morning.” James gave a tiny smile to the room, irritating them even more. Bucky doesn’t smile in the morning. “Morning, space girl.” He gave you a bigger smile and hugged you, “Morning, giant.” “Gosh, I’m melting. They’re so in love.” Wanda sighed and earned even more stares. Not everyone knew about the date so this seemed to be slow gossip since not even Bucky’s bro’s knew. “WAN! We’re going on dates, that’s not the same.” You blushed. This time you actually blushed and didn’t play it. “Yeah, but I can see it.” She gave you a big smile and made you hide in Bucky’s hug. You felt him bite into the donut you held up and jolted up again, “Excuse me?” “Hey, I brought out the trash and borrowed you my hoodie.” He defended himself. “They already sound like a married couple,” Steve mumbled in the background while shaking his head. “Please don’t steal my food, okay?” You made big eyes up at him. “Fine.” He rolled his eyes dramatically. “But you can have the rest of this one.” You held it out to him before stepping out of the hug and towards the big donut box. When you turned back to him you were met with a soft smile already pointed at you, “Huh?” “You’re like...drowning in that thing.” He pointed out. “I think it looks cute on me.” You looked down on you. “Yeah, it does.” He knew he had a problem right then and there. You were absolute trouble.

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foreverfangirlalways · 4 years

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The Astronomer and The Florist (Chapter 7) *I’m Sorry 😅*

Summery: Logan and Virgil get ready for the Party, go to the Party, and then deal with people (MICHAEL) at the Party

Ships: Analogical & Royality

Warning: Cussing, Panicking, Flirting, Michael, unwanted advances, Punching, Threats

-let me know if I need to add more warnings-

----

Virgil was almost done with making the perfect ‘fuck You’ bouquet for Michael.

Last night Virgil had contacted Elliot and explained the situation. After much laughter and snide remarks on Michael’s behalf, Elliot informed Virgil that Michael hated the colors yellow and orange, and despised scale-like patterns.

So, naturally, Virgil made it his mission to make the bouquet as orange and yellow as possible. So what if he had to re-do the bouquet a bit, it was time well spent!

Virgil finished tying a yellow ribbon on the scale-patterned vase he put the bouquet in, and then let out a satisfied sigh.

Patton turned around and grinned. “You finally finished with it?”

“Yep!” Virgil said, popping the ‘p’.

“I am all done with it, now I just have to watch his face as he takes in this beautiful masterpiece of a middle finger.”

Patton laughed at then looked at his watch. “You know, if you want to go ahead and head home, you can. You can go get ready for the Party, pick out the perfect outfit, and have Logan pick you up from you house!”

Virgil smiles as Patton keeps making plans.

“Alright Pat, I’ll go home and take a shower if you stop making wedding plans.”

Patton stuttered then smiled. “Fine. Deal. But you better bring the bouquet with you!” Patton called as Virgil headed towards the door in his excitement.

Virgil turned around sheepishly, got the bouquet, and rushed out the door. Patton’s laughter followed him the whole way home.

As soon as Virgil got home, he put the bouquet on the counter and jumped into the shower. Even though he was just joking with Patton, he did want to make a good impression on Logan. This is there first ‘romantic outing’ after all!

Virgil dried off and then stared at his closet. About 10 minutes later he started panicking. Logan will be here to pick him up in an hour and a half, and he has positively no idea what to wear!

He was going to embarrass Logan, or have to cancel and make Logan deal with Michael all on his own or-

Virgil stopped himself mid-spiral. This was a serious situation. A desperate time. And desperate times call for desperate measures.

“Hello?”

“Roman! Oh thank God! How far are you away from my house? I need your help!”

There was a knock on his front door. Virgil told Roman to hang on, then went to open the door. Roman stood in the door way, phone held against his ear and smirking up a storm.

“Now as much as I love the thought of you going to a Party, whose theme is Business Casual might I remind you, shirtless and in ripped black jeans, I think you would accidentally give Logan a heart attack.”

“How? What?” Virgil asked, still a bit in shock at seeing Roman in front of his door, almost as if he was summoned.

“I know you Virgil.” Roman said, ending the phone call.

“I figured you would be struggling for an outfit, so I decided to lend my assistance. It is nice to hear you so happy when I answer the phone though.”

Virgil punched Roman in the arm and then dragged him over to his closet. “Hahaha, yadayadayada, great, we’ve made fun of me, now work your magic and make me look good please!”

Roman’s face softened. “Oh, come now Virgil! You always look good. I’m just here to help you send Logan into a gay panic!”

Virgil snorted and then gestured at his closet. “Alright then! Get on with it!”

-_-_-

Logan had a very productive day. He turned in his map to Mr. Ezzo before the deadline, texted Virgil that he would pick him up from his house after Virgil gave Logan his address, went home, got a shower, got dressed, and just finished driving to Virgil’s house.

Logan knocked on the door and was surprised when Roman answered.

“What’s up Pocket Protector? Virgil’s finishing up his eyeshadow, so come on in!”

Logan walked in and stood next to the couch. Roman looked at Logan and smiled.

“I gotta say, you do dress up nice, even if it’s not much of a change.”

Logan looked down at his outfit. It is true, he switched out his signature black pollo for a more form fitting button down shirt, the sleeves hugging his biceps a bit. He still has his tie, and he replaced his slacks with dark wash jeans.

“Yeah, I agree.”

Logan turned to the sound of the voice and stared.

Virgil was wearing a long sleeved button down that was such a dark purple it almost looked black. His sleeves were rolled up to his forearms, and he had on ripped black skinny jeans. (Roman said he could keep them on)

Virgil was also smirking at how speechless he made Logan. Roman felt satisfied and decided to go raid the fridge.

Virgil stalked towards Logan and grabbed his tie. Logan swallowed and remember when he had asked out Virgil yesterday in the flower shop, and how flustered Virgil was.

Oh how the tables have turned.

Virgil tugged a bit on the tie and tilted his head. “Hey Logan, can I try something?”

Logan nodded, not trusting his voice to come out clear and steady.

Virgil just smirked again, took off the tie, and popped the top two buttons of Logan’s shirt.

“There! Now your ready.”

Logan wasn’t sure if he agreed with Virgil’s statement, he wouldn’t mind Virgil staying with him like this, but he knew that he had to get to the Party. Logan nodded and cleared his throat.

“Ah, well then, shall we?” Virgil led Logan into the kitchen. Roman wolf whistled upon seeing Logan.

“Virgil, I think you are the first person to have ever gotten him out of that tie! Tell me your secrets!”

Virgil just rolled his eyes, grabbed the vase, and turned to Logan.

“You ready to passive-aggressively tell this guy to fuck off in flowers?”

Logan, deciding that Virgil’s makeup was missing a bit of blush, grabbed his hand and smirked.

“Yep! Come on babe, I can’t wait to show you off. You look absolutely stunning, by the way.”

Roman was laughing his ass off at how red Virgil had gotten after Logan had simply grabbed his hand, and especially after Logan had started talking.

Logan pulled Virgil to his car and filed away how well Virgil responded to pet names. That is definitely a fact Logan will have to use to his advantage. Later.

-_-_-

As soon as Logan was parked, Virgil turned to him with an awed look on his face.

“How did y’all get this place as a venue? There is a legit waiting list for shit like this.”

“Mr. Ezzo has friends in high places. Only the best for his nephew after all.” Logan shrugged and Virgil narrowed his eyes.

“Well then, how about I properly meet this asshole?” Virgil asked. Logan is a little apprehensive about what Michael will say and/or do, but Virgil did say he can take care of himself, and Logan had no plans of ever leaving his side tonight. Logan will protect Virgil, even if Virgil doesn’t want him to.

Logan nodded, then got out of the car and went to Virgil side.

“Well, at least chivalry isn’t dead.” Virgil said, rolling his eyes but smiling as Logan opened his door for him.

Logan chuckled, took the vase from Virgil, and led him up to the patio where Michael was. ‘Best to go ahead and get this over with.’ Logan thought.

“Salutations Michael. I brought you a congratulatory bouquet.” Logan said, holding out the bouquet. Michael sneered at it, must to Virgil’s amusement.

“Thanks.” Michael said, taking it and placing it on a table next to him. “Even if it’s hideous, orange, yellow, and in the most god awful vase I have ever seen, I guess it is still a kind sentiment, for a robot.”

Logan froze, and Virgil raised an eyebrow, looking throughly confused and pissed all at once.

Michael turned to Virgil, and looked him up and down in a way that made Logan quickly unfreeze and start getting angry.

“Ahh, you must be the creature Logan caught and tricked into being his Plus 1. I must say, you don’t look half bad. I’m impressed.”

Michael said, sounding anything but impressed.

The confusion completely dissipated from Virgil face, leaving him looking thoroughly pissed. Despite that fact, or because of it, Virgil smirked at Michael in a way that almost looked like a sneer.

“Oh, and you must be the douche bag that Elliot has the unfortunate displeasure of calling an ex. I must say, I’m not impressed in the slightest.”

Logan had to stifle a smile at Virgil’s words. Virgil definitely has a silver tongue.

Michael, on the other hand, looked furious at the mention of Elliot and Virgil’s lack of impressedness.

“Hmm, you know the wimp and the robot. You need to pick your friends more carefully.” Michael said before turning and sauntering off.

Virgil held up a middle finger at Michael’s retreating form, and Logan could hold back his laughter any more. Virgil smiled at Logan, and then took his hand and lead him towards a bench. After sitting down, Virgil decided to ask the question that has been nawing at him.

“Hey Logan?”

“Yes Virgil?”

“Why does Michael call you a robot?”

Logan freezes yet again, and takes in a deep breath. ‘I can do this, it’s Virgil, Virgil will understand. Virgil won’t judge me... will he?’

“Logan? Logan can you breath for me?” Logan looked in Virgil’s worried eyes and took a deep breath.

“Michael calls me... that because he says I am emotionless and unlovable, like a robot.”

Logan was looking at his hands in his lap, so he missed the look of unaltered fury that passed over Virgil’s face.

“I was picked on and never really listened to in school, and I was always told that showing emotions is showing weakness, so I changed my demeanor. I found out that you are more likely to be listen to the present things as facts, so I started doing that. But Michael is right, I-“

“Logan, I say this to you in the nicest way possible, please shut the fuck up.”

Logan looked at Virgil, certain he was about to be told to lose his number, and was taken aback when he saw just how furious and sad Virgil looked.

“Logan, I’m sorry you were picked on at school, and whoever told you emotions are weaknesses clearly didn’t have any themselves. The people who didn’t listen to you didn’t deserve to hear what you had to say.”

Virgil smiles gently at Logan, and took hold of both of his hands.

“And if I ever hear you utter the words ‘Michael is right’ again, I will tell Roman that you said you hate Disney.”

Logan shuttered at that prospect, smiled up at Virgil, and then squeezed his hands.

“Ok, point taken, no need for threats. I promise to hence forth only call Michael a bumbling buffoon who has never been right in his life.”

Virgil laughed, and Logan felt content. Completely and utterly content.

“Speaking of Michael, I have decided to make it my life’s decision to push him out of an 8 story window. So will you be my alibi or accomplice?” Virgil asked.

It was Logan’s turn to bust out laughing. He just laughed and nodded.

“It would be my honor Virgil.”

Virgil blushed, and then changed the subject. They sat there, on that bench, talking about nothing and everything for about an hour.

While Virgil was perfectly happy to hold Logan’s hand forever and never move, he was getting thirsty.

Logan’s phone dinged and Logan let go of Virgil hand and fished out his phone.

“Hey Logan? I’m gonna go get some punch, you want some?” Logan nodded. “Give me one second I’ll come with you.”

“Logan, it’s fine. I’m a grown adult, I can handle getting a few drinks. Take your time, I’ll be right back.”

Logan looked like he still wanted to object, but he ceded. “Alright, just be careful.”

“Logan, it’s a Business Casual Party, in the middle of a popular park, where I am surrounded by your coworkers. What could go wrong?”

Virgil left before he could see the incredulous look Logan shot him. ‘Talk about tempting fate!’ Logan thought, then went back to texting.

Virgil was just reaching for a cup for Logan when he felt a hand on his waist. At first he smiled because he thought it was Logan, but then he turned around and fought the urge to smash the cup against Michael’s face.

“Aww, what’s a matter sweetheart?” Michael asked while smirking. “Did you realize that I’m not able to fulfill your robot kink and lose your smile?”

Virgil shoved Michael’s hand away and stood his ground.

“What the fuck do you think your doing? Other than being a giant asshat that is?”

Michael just smirked at Virgil. “I’m simply asking you how much he is paying you.”

Virgil blinked, and suddenly felt the urge to find a window. “E-fucking-scuse me?! And just what the fuck does that mean?”

Michael just rolled his eyes and stepped closer to Virgil, causing Virgil to step back. “Someone who looks like you doesn’t just date that. He’s a loser and a nerd. So, if not for money, why?”

Virgil is pissed. “Because LOGAN is kind, thoughtful, caring, and twice the man you will ever be!”

Michael’s face contorts, and he steps closer to Virgil yet again, causing Virgil’s back to hit the pillar behind him. Michael notices that fact, along with the slight look of fear in Virgil’s eyes.

Michael smirks and leans in. “Twice the man I’ll ever be, huh? Care to test that theory?”

Virgil is frozen as Michael yanks Virgil’s chin up and then-

And then Michael is sprawled out across the concrete and Logan is suddenly standing next to Virgil, his expression closed off and set in steel with fire in his eyes.

“Stay the hell away from my boyfriend you malignant fuck.” Logan’s voice was so oddly calm you would think he was discussing the weather if it wasn’t for the slight growl in the undertone of his voice.

Virgil’s gaze snapped up to Logan, but Logan was still staring down Michael.

Michael picked himself up, looking furious. “Oh please, it wasn’t like your whore was trying to sto-“

One second Logan was beside Virgil, and the next he was punching Michael in the face. Repeatedly.

After about the third punch, Virgil had snapped out of his daze, and yelled “LOGAN! Please stop, he’s not worth it!”

Logan let go of Michael shirt, causing Michael to fall on his ass. Logan, oblivious to the crowed of onlookers, turned and looked straight at Virgil. Seeing the tears that were streaming down his face made Logan almost punch Michael again.

Instead, Logan walked upped to Virgil, whipped a tear off of his face, and offered him his hand. Virgil took it, and then Logan turned back to look at Michael.

“If you ever come near Virgil or I again, next time will be worse. Know that the only reason I took it easy on you this time is because Virgil told me to stop. I sincerely hope I broke your nose, but don’t really care either way.”

Michael screamed at Logan. “YOU FUCKING PSYCHO!! I WILL MAKE SURE YOU ARE FIRED! I WILL CALL THE COPS!”

Logan just leveled Michael another scalding look. “You can call the cops. Just know that I will make sure that they are made aware of how I was protecting my boyfriend from an attempted assault. What will you say?”

Michael looked so red some of the crowd got nervous that he wasn’t breathing. But he clearly was due to oblivious fast passed rise and fall of his chest.

“I WILL MAKE SURE YOU ARE FIRED!” Michael yelled.

“Ah yes, about that. You can’t fire me.“

“LIKE HELL I CAN’T!”

“What I mean is, you can’t fire me because I already quit. Right before you attempt to assault Virgil, I had informed your Uncle that I will no longer be working for the Conservatory.”

All Logan’s news did was make Michael look faintly surprised upon being furious and red.

Logan turned to Virgil, saw that he was hyperventilating, and decided to get them to the car.

“Now, we’re going to leave and hopefully never see you again. Goodbye.”

Logan had led Virgil about half way out of the park before he stopped and turned around.

“Oh, and by the way, you should look up what you’re bouquet means in flower language.”

With that, Logan turned back around and didn’t stop until both he and Virgil were strapped into the car.

As Logan drove, he lead Virgil through breathing exercises and felt some of his anger dissipate. Logan pulled into his driveway without thinking. Deciding to go ahead and park, Logan and Virgil both sat in a comfortable sort of silence for a while.

“Logan?” Virgil hesitantly asked after about 10 minutes.

Logan turned to Virgil and grabbed his hand. “Yes Virgil? Are you alright?”

Virgil gulped and the looked at Logan from underneath his lashes. “You’re not, you’re not mad at me, are you?” Virgil asked quietly. Logan lifted up the middle compartment and scooted closer to Virgil.

“Of course not Virgil.” Logan said softly, putting his hand on Virgil’s face and gently lifting it to face his.

“Why would you think that I could possibly be mad at you?”

Virgil shrugged. “I was pretty useless back there and I almost let him-“

“No.” Logan said, his voice still soft but stern. “I saw what happened Virgil. I saw how you backed away and he kept coming.” When Virgil didn’t respond, Logan kept talking. “Let me ask you this. Did you want him to kiss you?”

“No!” Virgil squeaked out, slightly panicked. “I didn’t want him to, I just, kinda, froze.” Virgil mumbled.

Logan nodded, then wrapped his arms around Virgil. Virgil melted into Logan’s embrace, but is still a bit worried that Logan is upset with him.

“Virgil, I assure you that I am not mad at you. If anything, I’m mad at myself for not getting you before I went and told Mr. Ezzo that I quit. The whole thing could have been avoided if I had.”

At this point, Virgil was basically sitting in Logan’s lap. He lifted his head and looked in Logan eyes. “Yeah, why did you quit?”

“You see,” Logan started, the text I had gotten before you went to go get drinks was from Professor Sanders. He was telling me that the board was about to vote, and then his next text said that the vote was unanimous. I have the position if I want it. So I went and told Mr. Ezzo, and then headed to find you when I saw you step back from Michael, hitting your back again that pillar, and saw the fear on your face. When I saw him grab you, I didn’t think, I just rushed over and, well, you know the rest.”

Virgil nodded, then buried his head against Logan’s chest. Logan smiled and gently started patting Virgil’s hair. They stayed like that in Logan’s car, Virgil nestled in Logan’s lap, quite and content for a few minutes before Virgil spoke again.

“So... boyfriend, huh?”

Taglist-

@five-falseh00ds-ph0nated

@dragonwithproblems

@sanders-sides-with-quinn

@aleiimm

@007ardra

@yikesdodson

@kawaiikat54

@thefingergunsgirl

@nerdycupcake559

@softestvirgil

@teacupfulofstarshine

@impatentpending

#Analogical #Royality #Virgil #Logan #Patton #Roman #Sanders sides #Thomas Sanders

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corescorner · 4 years

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So That New Video Huh?

Okay holy shit, I’m gonna do an analysis for it. I’ve never done this before and no one literally has ever asked me to do this but youre getting it anyway cause this is the only place I can gush about this so freakin deal XP

First off, I woke up at two AM cause I’m A Disaster like that, and was greeted with this wonderful video. So naturally I make a pot of coffee and some Crofters toast and get on with my analysis.

Also! THE SWEATERS AND SCARVES! I WANT ALL OF THEM! On that note huge preesh to my Mum -even though she’ll never see this- who’s helping me buy one of the sweaters even though she doesn’t have to cause I’m a Grown Ass Adult ™ with my own money. Kind of.

Anyway on with the analysis! Under the cut cause Daaaaaaaaaaaamn is it long.

- Thomas' jacket! I want it.

-That ad intro though XD

-RAAAIID!!

-I be a real floozy XD

-Don't trust an old viking like me: Thomas Sanders (you know, the youtuber)

-PIrateS DiDn’T ReallY TAlk lIke ThIS! Reexamine your cultural biases!

-'what the hell is that accent?' going a liiittttle Remusy voice there Tommy.

-his ears scrunched down by the helmet and the beard string...

-Hahahahahaa, masculinity is a prison!

-SANDERS ASIDES! Nice.

-OKAY SO, this is literally the first thing I did when waking up and my mind was not ready for them TO BE HANGING OUT ON THE COUCH, suffice to say I had a mini freakout to myself and then excitedly continued.

-THE ONSIES I WANT VIRGILS!! THEY'RE ALL SO CUTE

-a florida dwelling man, who never leaves his house. Good point XD

-Romans immediate Sass™ Love It

-Virgil’s Just As Sassy Thumbs Up. Hyello!

-*gasp* ohmygoodness it’s all Frozen. Oh whoever could have predicted that! Roman... Please.

-Virgil’s eye squint at Roman when he announced 100% of the votes were frozen and Pattons excited cheering even though he just said he didn't vote for it so there's no way it could have been 100%

- Now that I think about it, if Roman didn't rig it, I think they'd probably be at a standstill with, ya'know all their votes being on what they wanted to watch.

-mmnnmmmnnn falsehood. It was so calm this time. soft falsehood.

-Paton’s incredulous 'too childish?!' he says this like he's recently seen Logan wear his and he's like 'what, but what'

-how can Thomas feel B.A.D with his inner D.A.D We👏 Get👏 It👏 You're 👏Adorable!

-VIRGIL: I CAN THINK OF A FEW WAYS. PATTON’S SAD LOOK!

-redirecting his attention to something good.... or neutral.

-ROMANS SASS

-Who among us can forget the absolute bop that is...... this weird ice cutting song. Roman with the sarcasm.

-Pat: pretty cool/what it’s a chilled out groove! Lo: I might need you to leave.

-Virgil's constant just Overthinking™ and not actually paying attention to the movie really. Mood.

-WHOS KID IS HE?! WHY DOES NOONE NOTICE THEY’RE LEAVING HIM

-some things need time.... Like evolution! Cute Nerd Alert.

-Patton blowing on his drink

-I ALso LOve you Olaf!

-VIRGIL’S LOOK AFTER THAT

- no you’re mine now

-I love that Roman commentates on movies he watches cause that is 100% Me

-’the heart is not so easily changed’ Lo: No it isn't. Pat: Hmm?

-’but the head can be persuaded’ Ro: Can it though?

-’fear will be your enemy.’ Virgil’s looooooook T.T

-Pat and Ro: JOOOOAN! Virgil and Lo say nothing. Thomas:..... Joan...

-it’s making me too aware of the passage of time! Ooooooof big Mood™ bro.

-REMUS!!! :D

-Of course he's naked, cause why wouldn't he be, they're all in their comfortable clothes.

- they're gonna die at seea! :D

-I sleep in the buff. Thank you Remus. No seriously, good to know.

-Virge: Did i screw everything up? Ro: No I threw out your vote so you couldn't do that. ROMAN!

-Patton’s head bob in agreement about missing the hand drawn movies

-Roman’s actual misunderstanding that virgil wasn't talking about frozen being the wrong decision.

-Verge: How are you telling me to settle into something right now when you've taken your sweet time to settle into things that you were uncomfortable with in the past? Virgil with the shaaaade.

-Pat: I just think we should all relax. Virge: You do realize who you’re talking to right?

-Virgil's genuine confusion if Lo is asking him that question cause hes always so literal and then proceeds to tell him the number anyway.

-’why have a ballroom with no balls?’ Remus’ snicker, same.

-Just give in to the raunchy jokes Thomas, it's funny.

-Roman imitating Hans’ 'evil plotting face'

-Ro in Dude Bro Voice: aw man yea I’m so fucked up on chocolate fondue I don’t even know what im sayin right now

-All of the others smiling at that. Is Roman doing this to make them smile?

-Patton whines, Logan: Is something wrong Patton? UM Logan asking about FEELINGS Cute.

-there's no way shes coming out of this situation without trust issues. Mmmmmmyea.

-Ro: except for the footprints behind you. Lo:HEy YEa!

-Pat, quietly: don’t let them in don’t let them see. PATTON! SOMEONE HUG DAD PLEASE

-Virge: he may have been an idiot back in the day, but hes not anymore... Virge, are we talking in double meanings here?

-Lo: she shouldn't let go of more of her clothing that’s for sure, shes gonna freeze to death. Lo, she has ICE POWERS. I'm sure she’s fine. The cold never bothered her anyway.

-Logans confused, what about a bridge? Metaphors Lo.

-Pat: let it go! Ro: lie low in our kingdom of ICEolation, come on paton don’t go for the low hanging fruit.

-Lo: There’s a storm out tonight!? Well, obviously Thomas has to stay home why are we debating this. No, Lo honey, it’s still a metaphor.

-Lo: you think this castle has a lavatory? Pat: ICE TOILET! Ro: or a bed? Pat: ICE BED! Lo: this place sounds awful.

-Pat: his thing with the reindeer? Lo: outside of nature's laws? Re: he DEFINITELY FUCKS THE REINDEER! I THOUGHT THE SAME THIIIIIING.

-Ro: If OnLy ThErE wAs SoMeOnE OuT ThErE wHo LoVeD YoU 'hans evil plotting face'

-Logan pointing out Romans constant shade at he movie.

-UM! THIS IS HOW I SHOW MY LOVE UM EXCUSE YOU, My Prinxiety heart.

-Romans complete legit reason why Ana should have been saved by Olaf.

-Virge: I bet he’s talking about you right now. THOMAS' FACE.

-Pat: Thomas has talked about him to other people. Patton likes gossip?

-Ro: WERE ALL GOSSIPY BITCHES SOMETIMES!

-Logan AGREEING that they’re gossipy bitches XD

-OKAY I LOVE THAT RO IS THE ONE WHO SWEARS THE MOST

-Patton pointing a logans points in agreement

-VIRGIL IS SPIRALING, deep breaths kiddo!

-Virge: just think about it. Thomas: LIKE I HAVE A CHOICE

-Virge: he trusted you enough to share a history that he wasn’t proud of with you. Again talking in double meaning here Verge?

-Virge: ‘he wouldn’t have gotten around to some of the stuff you wanted to know about on his own. More backstory to unlock mayhaps?

-Logan doing the countdown thing to help with the anxiety.

-Thomas going along with it without question, Virgil.... kinda going along with it?

-Virgil’s soft ‘.... blinds...’ after naming things that were like existential crisis things XD

- Thomas and Virgil tasting the same thing? Do they all taste what Thomas tastes? Or were they eating together?

-Lo: You are safe. T.T Loooooooogaaaaan

-LOGAN TOTALLY OWNING THAT THOMAS CALLED HIM COOL! CAUSE YOU ARE!

-Virgil’s soft look when Thomas is talking about adjusting and then saying that he still thinks theyre friends! UM again with the double meanings?!

-Thomas: things will be alright between us. PATTON LOOKS AT VIRGIL Cuuuuuuute

-Roman’s metaphor that makes no sense to the situation.

-Thomas: thank you Roman, that’s barely applicable.

-and then his look of 'you're welcome' XD

-ROMANS SASS!!

-Logans list of Elsa’s powers

-Patton nodding along to it and then his 'yea it all checks out' XD

-Logan’s thoughts on Arendales military being just Elsa cause of her powers.

-Virgil’s soft smile and sigh.... ‘Too bad we didn’t go to that party.’ VIRGE!

-Anxiety music starts, what if your soulmate was there and now you’re never gonna get another chance to meet him

-Ro reaching in Virgil’s direction OH SHIT OH SHIT!

-Oof youre freaking out princey there Virge

-Lo: watching a film is too passive of an exercise to allay Thomas' troubled thoughts, Virgil’s cute shrug and thumb nail biting like 'welp'

-DECEIT!!!!!!! ROMAN WHY DO YOU HAVE HIS HAT DO YOU HANG OUT TOGETHER, WHY WERE YOU IN HIS ROOM WHY WAS HE NOT WEARING IT WHAT WAS HE DOING WHEN YOU STOLE IT!

-Dee: I was looking for this! So he doesn't always lie, that’s good to know.

-Virgil’s HISSING! Okay sure, but he wasn't even talking to you man calm down XD

-Dee: DONT TOUCH MY SHIT *finger waggle*

-Romans face! Like, yep I saw this coming and i did it anyways, and I’m probably gonna do it again in the future.

-HOW OFTEN DOES ROMAN RIG VOTES?

-Logans interest in rewriting Frozen

-Ro: no. yes. I don’t know what you’re asking. Roman, it was kinda self explanatory XD

-everyones expressions when roman is talking about how he’s gonna rewrite it.

-YEA YOU LET THOSE CREATIVE JUICES FLOW!

-Virgil’s little ‘aw hell yea’

-REMUS: eh not my kind of fanfiction! WHAT FANDOM DOES HE READ FOR!? DOES HE READ STUFF ON HIMSELF AND THE OTHER SIDES!?

-ALSO HE’S RIGHT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COUCH NEXT TO LOGAN NAKED, HOW MUCH CAN LOGAN SEE?!

-I’m going to bed. IN THE BUFF. Yes, you’ve stated this before XD

-everyones contributions to the fic

-Pat: I see your point Virgil, but how about this: nobody dies.

-Joan at the end XD Joan should do more ads with Thomas, they’re great.

-Thomas: you just do it XD

-LOGAN APOLOGIZING TO HIS ONESIE! MY FUCKIN ASS YOU HAVE NO FEELINGS YOU'RE APOLOGIZING TO AN INANIMATE OBJECT MY DUDE!

-So this is obviously after DWIT, cause of Remus’ appearances and Logan’s ownage of being called cool. But is it right after? Or is there gonna be a prequel type video next that happens before this and exactly after DWIT?

-Thomas being sad hurts me.

-Did I mention how much I LOVE THAT THEY’RE JUST CHILLING WATCHING A MOVIE HOW OFTEN DO THEY DO THIS!?

-Logan drinking his... coffee? Kinda drinking it. If they taste what Thomas tastes(??) does it happen the other way around? Probably not right? Or is it one of those things where it’s a phantom taste or craving type situation?

-Roman lounging on a bean bag chair in front of an actual chair, yea same.

-BUT ALSO VIRGIL SITTING ON THE BACK OF THE COUCH. I do that too much, or like on the arm.

-Logan just fuckin wearing dress shoes like they’re not just at home on the couch watching a movie.

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #sanders asides #sanders sides spoilers #roman sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #remus sanders #virgil sanders #deceit sanders #joan stokes #thatsthat24 #ts virgil #ts logan #ts roman #ts remus #ts patton #ts deceit #core analysis

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lowkey-gt · 5 years

Text

part 4 of the marichat g/t au

this legit became too long so i cut it early and there still might be two more parts coming. i also cannot stress ENOUGH how much of this is thanks to @miniature-knight, who has been dm’ing just, TOP TIER stuff to add to this, cannot credit them enough

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

ladybug and chat continue their superheroing. chat keeps his charismatic act up but is thrown off his game a lot more than he’s comfortable with. He still can’t keep his size in check all the time

The citizens of Paris quickly figure out chat noir’s new “superhero power” - to be completely honest? it’s not even close to the weirdest thing that’s happened in the city the past year. The people adjust fast. Citizens still wave to him from the streets or on rooftops, and chat gives them a show with his trademark wink and charming grin. ladybug side-eyes him with worried confusion every time.

—

chat lays on his front in the woods with marinette beside him. he’s big again, as he always is when they meet here, so he doesn’t have to hurt himself holding it in.

but all he talks about is hating it.

marinette listens as chat tells her how he can’t stand being upright when he’s like this. everything is so removed, so distant, so below him. he can’t tell her how much of his life he’s already spent up on a pedestal, made to be far away from everyone else around him. being “chat” was supposed to be his escape from all that.

—

back with ladybug, though, his usual banter is all she gets out of him. And every time his size gets in the way, ladybug can see how much it hurts him in his eyes. And every time she asks if he’s alright, if he needs to talk about it, he very firmly tells her it’s fine.

One time his response, even as he delivers it with a cheeky smile, leaves her cold.

“You worry too much my lady! It’s actually fun being this size!”

It’s such a big lie to the two of them.

—

Chat lays on his back, his hands covering his face, anxiously rambling away. He tells marinette how much he’s messed up, so much that it was impossible for him to backtrack now. how worried he is all the time about how he gets in ladybug’s way. Marinette sits under a tree beside him, but her anxiousness comes as silence. What on earth could she do? Chat seemed so happy to spill his heart out to her, but wouldn’t say a single word to Ladybug. She feels so useless.

—

in school, the class gossips, of course. some are in awe, some find it pretty weird, a few think it’s scary. nino thinks it’s awesome. alya only comments on how it’s harder to get clear shots of ladybug for her blog now.

adrien sits anxiously in his seat, trying not to listen but hearing every word. his eyes don’t move from marinette. he watches her most days now - how could he not, after all the time they’d spent together? now more than ever he’s aware of how kind she is, brave she is, sincere she is, and he is keenly aware of the state he might be in if she hadn’t been there to help the last few weeks

she was listening to their classmates too, not joining in the conversation but watching with- concern? adrien couldn’t quite tell. she was fidgeting. was she worrying about him in that moment?

adrien is more upset with himself each passing day at how much of marinette’s time he had taken from her, because she was helping him, listening to his worries. she shouldn’t have to be sitting here in class being anxious for him and his problems. she deserved better.

adrien is startled out of his thoughts as marinette is suddenly on her feet, and the class watches her round on chloe. adrien realises he missed a snide remark from her about chat noir, but marinette hadn’t - and now she was ripping into Chloe, telling her to maybe put herself in chat noir’s place, and that she couldn’t know what he was feeling, and maybe to be grateful that he was doing the best he could and still fighting his heart out to save paris every time he was needed in spite of anything he was going through—

adrien can feel his face flushing.

—

after class, adrien makes up his mind. he catches marinette before she leaves. he wants to be around her, be better friends with her, hang out with for real. he asks her on a date.

well, what he really said was “do you want to hang out one night? If that’s alright with you?” but of course that’s enough to send marinette into a complete fritz

adrien always worries that marinette doesn’t enjoy his company like this, she always takes so long to answer and seems distracted and anxious to leave, but eventually he deciphers what he thinks was a “yes” from her, and they agree on a day, and he feels relief and excitement bubble up inside him

he takes her hand gratefully, without thinking, and doesn’t realise how red she’s become until halfway through his next sentence. that’s when he realises she hasn’t been comforting adrien all this time, but chat noir, so of course she’d not be expecting him to hold her hand, even though he loves holding her and holding her hand so much and- wait hold on now he’s the one going red? he lets go quickly and waves her goodbye before he can embarrass the both of them any more

but his hand feels empty without hers

—

What started as excitement about spending time with marinette quickly turns more and more into anxiety as the day of the date draws closer

The evening arrives, and adrien is delayed by the appearance of an akuma - once the battle is won, he is speeding back over the rooftops to make sure he makes it on time

The fight took it out of him though, and his control is slipping. He’s already oversized and he can’t travel as fast as he needs to to get there on time. Chat thinks about the look on her face if he was late, thinks about how distracted she always is with ‘Adrien’ and maybe she won’t enjoy hanging out with him tonight - but did she really enjoy hanging out with ‘Chat’ either when all he did was complain?

And then, amidst these thoughts, he briefly worries about being unable to transform back. What a ridiculous thought - of course he can, of course he will - but, it’s already too late, as soon as the thought crosses his mind it’s stuck there, repeating louder and louder even while he tries to snuff it out, and the anxiety starts to bubble up inside him

Chat suddenly stumbles in his traversal, losing his momentum, and as he catches his balance he realises he’s become bigger again, and the thought is now inescapable because it’s happening again, it’s happening now, why now of all nights?? Chat feebly attempts to quell his panic, but as he dips into a sidestreet to rests against the wall he feels himself stretch taller again, watches the ground become further away, and he jams his fist in his mouth and ducks into the shadows as much as he can as it becomes impossible to hold back anymore

—

Marinette made it back home in record time - a date with adrien?? She wouldn’t let anything get in the way of that, especially not an akuma. Chat had seemed alright when they left, so she had swung home and detransformed and bustled around her room getting ready

Now she was waiting, expecting his message to meet him outside any moment, the adrenaline of the akuma fight wearing off and being replaced with nerves instead - but before she can start contemplating all the ways she might mess up this evening, she’s distracted by a flicker of a shadow outside her window. So faint, that if she wasn’t experienced as a part-time superhero, she definitely wouldn’t have noticed it

She looks around and pauses, staring through the glass into the darkness. there’s now nothing - but she feels like she recognised it, how the shadow moved, like the flick of a tail, something she sees out of the corner of her eye almost every day—

Marinette opens the door to her rooftop, climbing out, looking around. It’s the time of night where everyone was indoors, the streets were quiet and bare, the only light coming from the warm yellow Parisian street lamps. But it‘s almost too still. She glances over the balcony to her window - there’s still nothing. She pauses, then glances down to the street to check if Adrien was down there yet. Nope, nothing. With a sigh, she leans back, wondering what she’s waiting for, who she’s waiting for, then turns to go back inside

It’s almost so fast she misses it again, but his presence is like second nature to her - she sees the movement of his tail flicking back from the corner of her eye.

Marinette’s head snaps to it, and then she yells, leaping back in shock and almost stacking it over her balcony chair. She hadn’t expected to see his hand, hovering, bigger than her, there against the side of her house. Now she was facing it, she saw a much larger movement of a shadow, and she realises he’s there, crouched over her roof, and she looks up and sees his bright green eyes looking down from the darkness above her and has to steady herself

She takes one look at him and reads him in an instant. He looks mortified at startling her, ears down-turned, and she realises he had been trying to move his hand out of her vision so as not to be seen. If she hadn’t caught the movement, he would be almost invisible against the shadows of the night, even though his form dwarfed the buildings around it. She looks at his face and recognises it immediately, that anxious look he always gets when he’s spiraling, and she can tell he hadn’t meant to be here, hadn’t meant to be seen, hadn’t meant to scare her, but here he was all the same, the guilt in his eyes clearly visible, and as marinette catches her breath, her eyes soften and she looks up at him with concern and sympathy and understanding

“Oh Chat.”

#gt #g/t #giant tiny #marichat #chat noir #WHY am i writing so detailed now OMG ITS TAKING SO LONG #wanted the majority of this part to just be the balcony scene i had in mind #AND I HAD TO CUT IT BEFORE EVEN PROPERLY STARTING IT #jeebus #anyway please leave comments and thoughts #thanks for being so patient #ml au

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themadamelibrarian · 5 years

Text

Perfect to Me

Rating: Mature Relationships: Gabriel/Sam, Sabriel Additional Tags: Body Image issues. Belly worship. Chubby Gabriel. Summary: When Sam touches Gabriel’s less than perfect abs, the only thing that goes through his mind is how repulsive it must be for Sam to be with someone like him. Now all Sam has to do is figure out why his angel is shrinking from him before he spirals too deep. If you want to be tagged on future fic postings drop me an ask to let me know you want to be added the Library Card list. People who are over 18 years old and are added to the list legit get a Library card aesthetic. No matter what reaction you may have, like the posts of the fics if you thought they were worth the click. Reblog if you think they need to be spread like flower seeds in spring. And of course, feel free to leave a comment on here or AO3. Tagging: @copperseraphim @thenanahunter @truxblooded @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell

Sam’s favorite thing to do was to take the time to worship Gabriel's stomach. placing small kisses and nibbles as he reveled in how that part of his boyfriend was soft and warm, yet he could feel the muscle under the slight pudge.

Now Gabriel wasn’t shy about most things but for some reason, he was shy about this.No one could blame him for it either. He’d seen Sam naked. He knew what the boy was packing. How could anyone compare to that kind of firm sleekness?

Squirming, Gabriel tried to think about how Sam's lips felt as they moved over his body, but his mind kept coming back to that squishy bit. How Sam must be repulsed and just paying attention out of pity.

Sam could sense something was off, so he stopped and looked up at his angel with concern. "Gabe. What's wrong?"

Gabriel swallowed nervously and looked down at Sam with a forced smile, "Nothing, pudding pop. I'm fine."

"No. You're really not." Sam said as he crawled up until he was face to face with him, "Talk to me. It's okay if you're not in the mood."

"I'm in the mood. So in the mood. I have all the mood." Gabriel deflected with the deft of a fencing champion while trying to grope Sam back into action.

Sam stayed Gabriel's wandering hands with a gentle grip to his wrists. "Babe, you're not even hard." he whispered, "Did I- did I do something wrong? Hurt you?"

Gabriel's little noise of surprise at that

Gabriel let out a small noise of surprise that Sam would blame himself for this. Of course, who was he fooling, this was Sam Winchester. Willing to take the blame even when it wasn’t warranted. Closing his eyes, Gabriel shook his head in denial. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Then what is it?" Sam asked, settling at his boyfriend’s side and touching the bottom of his chin to turn Gabriel's face toward him.

Pulling away from Sam self-consciously, he drew the covers up to his ribs and rolled onto his side to bury his face against Sam's chest. "It's stupid. I've watched suns burn out and galaxies born. This is just... forget it. I ruined tonight so you might as well get some sleep."

"Gabriel!" he said, the name sounding harsh in his own ears so he tries again but kinder. "Gabriel. You've not ruined anything other than making me worry. If you don't tell me what's wrong I can't help you."

The silence dragged on as Gabriel weighed the options. He could brush off the whole conversation and pretend that it was a passing fancy that distracted him. He could make something up or he could come clean about it. The worst that could happen was that Sam would be so irritated at his lack of confidence that he left. Then Gabriel wouldn't be any worse off than he was a few years ago. Right? That's when he really imagined what it would be like without Sam. Without the thousand-watt smile when Gabriel took him to see some part of the world a Winchester wouldn't ever see by his own means. A life without the presence of the human space heater in his bed. Warming everything until even Gabriel's wings were lax and spread wide for more. A life of perpetual solitude without Sam's loving shadow surrounding him. "It's my stomach." Gabriel whispered, "My vessel. I don't like it and I don't understand why you do either. It's... awful and I can't change it."

Sam was stumped for a bare second before he pressed a kiss to Gabriel's forehead and wrapped him up in his arms. "I'm sorry. If it makes you uncomfortable then I won't draw attention to that part of you but for what it's worth, I think it's beautiful. Just like the rest of you. There isn't an inch of your vessel that I don't find attractive in some way."

"Don't bullshit a bullshitter," Gabriel grumbled.

"I'm not. It'd insult both of our intelligence." Sam pressed another kiss just shy of Gabriel's ear and whispered, low and sultry, "Haven't you ever wondered why I like when you pull me up against your chest while you're fucking me? It's because I can feel every inch of you against me and in me."

Lifting his gaze to meet Sam's, Gabriel looked for any trace of some kind of deception. Even if it was Sam trying to make him feel better but that's not what he saw. There was the most beautiful man in all of creation looking at him with complete adoration. Pressing their lips together in a gentle, silent thanks for showing him the love he needed. Because he may not be able to look at himself and see something he liked but he could try to see himself through Sam's eyes. Maybe with time, he'd see the beauty that was so apparent to the man.

#Madamelibrarian's Writing #Sabriel #fluff and angst #body image #gabriel #sam/gabriel #sam winchester #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfic

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okietrish · 5 years

Text

Second Sun: pt. 1~ Greta Van Fleet

Hey guys! This is my first time writing anything like this. I’m a massive fan of Greta and have been pissed to find that there is no fan fiction anywhere!!!! So I took matters into my own hands. Feed back would be wonderful. I’ll take requests, all that Jazz, whatever y’all want I’m willing to give it a shot. Alright. Y’all enjoy this first part.

PLEASE GIVE FEEDBACK

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your mind isn’t a place that comes without chaos. It’s cloudy at times and riddled with worrisome thoughts and essentric dreams that spiral you into realizing that you’re not conventional in the least. This isn’t a new realization by any means, its obvious to you that your brain doesn’t function habitually. When you were younger you didn’t find yourself speaking your mind all that much due to anxiety, but you craved being heard, being noticed, being a person... that’s where writing came into play. It started off with poems, ridiculous journals that are so ‘edgy’ from when you were 12. It actually was “just a faze,” thank god, which made your mother happy...

Gradually through time and experience and aggressively going through far too many notebooks, your writing got far better, more natural for you, which lead to the true love of your life, music.

Music is constantly playing through your head, evident right now as you’re standing in line at Spill’n The Beans, hands down the best coffee shop due to the name alone. The people surrounding you look on curiously, unbeknownst to you, as you perform a detailed toe tapping/air drumming combo to the beat of You Shook Me by Zeppelin. The coffee shop wasn’t crowded this morning. Quiet, secluded, enough space around you to allow all of the thoughts and ideas to flow easily without the stress of other people to suffocate your mind. When you approach the front of the line you take your head phones out and get greeted by the warm, nostalgic smile of your best friend.

“Y/N, I’ve never been so happy to see your sexy self”

“My god Syd I saw you at home 40 minutes ago, miss me already?” You laughed at her look of betrayal knowing you’re in for a dramatic performance.

“Y/N Y/L/N I barely see you anymore and we live together. It’s all music now a days!” Her arms are on her hips now, mothering you like always. She complains of it, but you know deep down she loves to look after you.

You looked behind you making sure no one was in line waiting as she continued in a voice that was suppose to mock your own.

“‘Sorry love I have to practice bass.’ ’sorry Syd I have this tune stuck in my head and I need to go write’ ‘sorry Syd I’m just too fucking rock and roll to hang out with you and binge watch Harry Styles compilations anymore!’”

You looked at her for a moment, a smirk rising to your lips as your snorted a bit at your chaotic friend.

“Are you done?” You asked laughing.

“Yes, but I do miss you.” She said as she began making the same ice coffee combo you get every morning on your way to work, black cold brew with one pump of vanilla. A bitter sweet combo to kickstart your mind.

“I miss you too.” You spoke over the coffee machine. You did feel bad about not spending as much time with her as you wanted to.

“I get off tonight at 6, wanna have a movie night?” You offered.

Syd poked her head above the machine, her eyes crinkled, evident that she was grinning ear to ear.

“Nah I’m good.” She said smugly and ducked back down. If you rolled your eyes any harder they would be stuck.

“Got fuck your self, pick up snacks on your way home, I’ll grab McDonald’s. Lets have a date.” She handed you your coffee with a smile.

“Sounds like a plan. See you later sis.” She flipped you off as you walked out. It was a routine, a sign of love and endeaarance put into place god only knows how long ago.

Your drive to work was nothing abnormal. Songs shuffled and inspiration flew through your veins. Today you felt good. Hopefully it stayed like that, you thought.

You pulled up to Jackknife Records at 8:20am, 10 minutes early for your shift, per usual. Grabbing all of your belongings out of your car you made your way inside, immediately being greeted by your boss and owner of the store Rob.

“Morning Y/N!” His lanky arm waved happily towards you.

“Rob, my man, any cool drop offs last night?” You say making your way behind the counter to set down your stuff.

“There’s an old beat up Beatles White Album back there. She looks like she was used and loved, it’s still in great condition. It’s on my desk waiting for you.”

You always had this routine with Rob. If anyone dropped off some cool vinyls, or any odd ball things he thought you would enjoy he saved them for you in his office. You never asked him to, he just noticed you always bought records from the store so he quickly developed an idea for your taste. Which wasn’t really anything specific, if it had a good vibe you loved it. Good music is good music no genre or decade could put a box around it.

“You’re the best!”

You began your usual routine as Rob opened up the store. Stacking records, scanning and placing tags, the mundane things that brought the record store to life.

It was a slow day, seeing as it was Saturday morning and everyone was likely hungover from the night before. Days like this are your favorite, though you do enjoy busy days where you get to help people figure out their taste and what they want, or need, in their life musically, but days like this meant that you could listen to music and write.

Rob knew you got your work done through and through, so he was never bothered by you writing on the job or playing music for everyone to hear, occasionally even bringing your bass to work and playing in the corner. He knew you were a good worker and if anyone came in you’d take care of them. This place was like your home, had been for 2 years now since Rob offered you a job. He is an old family friend, went to high school with your dad way back in the day. So when you moved out to LA for school you dad made a phone call to Rob and he took you under his wing.

You helped out a few customers here and there, tidied up some more, but mostly all you did was listen to different music and sing along.

It was around noon now, so you began stocking some cd’s while Rob was behind the counter. Occasionally Rob would throw in a request here and there and take the store’s music into his own hands, which is why Whose Loving You by The Jackson 5 began playing over the speakers.

“Rob what the hell?” You laughed at him. You knew he put this on knowing it’s your go-to karaoke song. He does it at least once a week.

“Oh hush, no one is in here. Sing your heart out kiddo.” He joking dismissed you with his hand. You laughed at his ‘dad’ antics.

You continued stocking cd’s when your voice came in perfectly, the first run was second nature at this point.

“When I had you” you were being dramatic now, hand movements, extra ear plugging motions pretending like you were Christina Aguilera to be funny. Rob was laughing to himself as he walked into the back room. You continued, not even realizing he left.

“I treated you bad

And wrong, my dear

And girl since

Since you went away”

You were back to stocking CD’s when the hook came around, singing effortlessly, but eloquently.

“Don't you know I

Sit around

With my head hangin' down

And I wonder

Who's lovin' you”

You sang through the song, not even thinking about the notes at this point. This song was constantly on loop in your brain since your dad showed it too you some 15 years ago. You were within yourself in those moments. Oblivious to all around you other than your voice, the song, and the robotic motions of CD’s organization. The bell ringing on the front door didn’t register to you as you went about singing. It wasn’t until the song ended and another one came on that you didn’t recognize that you looked up and noticed four guys, around your age, looking at you curiously. They were still standing by the front door, seemingly frozen in their place as they looked on completely infatuated with the sight in front of them. You. The tall one with long brown hair down to his collar bones with a jean shirt on began clapping for you, thoroughly impressed. You became flustered immediately going into apologetic mode, per usual.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry! I didn’t even hear you come in.” You paused looking at them expectantly for you don’t know what, but they just continued looking at you, smiling.

You began again,

“Sorry umm... feel free to look around. Sorry for singing so loud... let me know if you have any questions.”

You walked back to behind the counter to switch the music again. You hooked up your phone and just pressed shuffle, trying to find something catchy, but mostly something to smooth out your nerves at the moment.

You felt a presence in front of you, looking up you discovered it was the guy who clapped before, his friends scattered about the store.

“Hey! Your voice is sick. Sorry we interrupted your personal concert.” His fingers were tapping on the counter as he looked at you. It seemed more like a habit to him, not necessarily a motion of impatience or anything like that. He was kind, immediately you picked up on that, his smile was endearing.

“Oh thanks! And don’t worry about it, I was just bored.” You smiled back. This seemed to guide him into the conversation.

“Cool store by the way. You seem to have a pretty legit collection. My brother’s, my friend and I were just walking past and just had to come in. The music guided us, ya know?”

You laughed a bit at his relaxed nature, seemingly mirroring your own. You haven’t met many people like that.

“I feel that, music can guide you anywhere. Most of the time it’s where you need to go most.” You said as matter of fact.

He put his hand up for a high five, which you granted, “Hell yeah. I’m Sam by the way.”

He stuck his hand out towards you again, this time for you to shake.

“Nice to meet you Sam, I’m Y/N.” You chuckled as you shook his hand. He turned towards the other guys and released your hand.

“Hey, losers, come here really quick.”

He turned back to you and smiled before turned to the guys again. He stepped to the side so they could see you.

“This right here is Y/N she is dope, so far, and has a sick voice and clearly good music taste because look at that Bo Diddley shirt. I need that shit. I mean... Come on! We’re best friends now.” He smiled at you with a cheesy look.

They boys and you laughed at Sam’s antics, it was obvious that they were beyond use to the ridiculousness of Sam’s personality by now.

You quickly said, “Hey!” to all of them and they introduced themselves to you.

The tall one, about Sam’s height, walked up to you first. He was wearing a t-shirt with a very delicate floral design on it partnered with black shorts that hit just above his knee. His Birkenstock’s were well worn it, but in decent shape. He looked relaxed and childish in a way, a trusting face. Someone you could tell everything to, very trusting.

“Hey Y/N, I’m Danny. Nice to meet you! Love the shirt.” His smile was contagious. A kind soul. You smiled, your mouth opening to reply before someone spoke up.

“Your outfit in total is just suburb. The shirt, the high waisted shorts, the Birkenstock’s. Fantastic. I’m Josh by the way.” You were overwhelmed but not frightened in the least by his quick words. He seemed friendly as well, he spoke with his hands, twisting them, retailing every syllable with a flick of a finger. Very unique. That uniqueness ran through to his outfit. Short red shorts, a black flowing shirt decorated with layered necklaces with different details on each.

You smiled in your reply, “you’re very kind, also where the hell did you get your shoes, I love them.” They were small, black Toms looking shoes.

Josh smiles at you sweetly, even more in tuned with the conversation, which you didn’t think was possible, “Well you see, they are 100% recycled material. You can wash them and they have a lifetime warranty. I can give you the website, love them!” All the boys seemed to laugh at Josh’s enthusiasm.

The unnamed one speaking up, “Oh please don’t get him started on those damn shoes!” He laughed while stroking his bottom lip with his right thumb and pointer finger. “I’m Jake by the way. Lovely to meet you.”

Jake was intriguing to you. He carried himself differently than the other boys, as far as you could tell. Still kind and light hearted, more monotoned. He work black skinny jeans, brown boots and a grey t-shirt topped with a brown floppy hat.

You smiled at all of the boys.

“You guys seems cool. What brings you down here?” You move so you’re sitting on the counter, having a feeling you will be talking for a while.

Josh spoke up first, “We’re recording some songs at the moment, trying to get to an album, but we got stuck. So we decided to get some inspiration out here.”

The way he spoke was captivating, confident in a way that captured everyone’s attention. You were fascinated.

“LA is inspirational if you allow it to be. Are you guys all in a band?”

They all nodded their heads yes.

“Alright who does what? Wait can I guess?!” You we’re excited.

“Hell yeah go for it.” Sam said. They all stood in a line, it looked as if they were in a police line up, you giggled but stared at them intently.

“Alright... Danny, you’re the drummer.”

“Fuck you’re good!” Danny said laughing and stepping out of line walking over to you giving you a high five.

“It’s the arms my man, dead give away.” You smiled at him and continued. “Sam... singer? No. No. No. guitar?” You questioned. Crossing your arms, looking far to serious for this situation.

“Ha! No! I’m bass and keys baby!” He then played air piano aggressively and walked over to stand with Danny.

You laughed and continued.

“Josh, you’re obviously the singer.” You said with false confidence.

“Woah!” Josh was shocked. “What’s so obvious about it!?”

“My friend, you annunciate your words eloquently, so it was a good guess.” You said smiling at the curly haired man.

“Touché Y/N. Touché.” He walked towards the other boys while staring you down jokingly.

You hopped off the counter walking towards Jake. Jokingly inspecting him you walked around him pretending to judge him harshly.

“Hmmmm... Jake Jake Jake.” You stopped standing in front of him, looking up into his eyes. You were taken aback a bit by his steady glare, a smirk appeared on his face.

“You, darling, are a guitar player.”

He smiled at you, “oh yeah?”

You walked away jokingly confident, “yes of course, your hands are calloused to all hell.”

Sam jumped towards you throwing his arm around you, “Damn Y/N 3/4 ain’t bad at all!”

They all laughed along. You realized you knew what they all played, but no idea what band they were in.

“Wait, what’s the name of the band. Maybe I have heard of you!” You looked at Sam expectingly.

“Greta Van Fleet.” He said nodding his head down firmly, seemingly proud.

“What kind of music do y’all play?”

“Give me your phone I’ll show you!”

You grabbed your phone, unlocking it and handing it to Sam. He immediately opened Spotify. While Sam was looking them up Josh looked like he got an idea.

“Y/N you should come by tonight! We’re having a bonfire, it’ll be fun!”

You go to reply but the sound of a guitar blaring through the speakers interrupts your train of thought. You’re instantly taken aback by the music. Immediately feeling your body bounce with the beat, you begin to press your fingers on your right hand to your thumb. An anxiety coping mechanism that centers your focus onto one thing. It’s a habit of yours.

The boys look at you curiously again, but you don’t notice.

Jake smiled and explained, “This is Black Smoke Rising.”

You agknowledge him with a smile and a head nod. Far too into the music to reply. This always happens to you, your ear for music goes beyond the lyrics and main instruments. You’re a song writer through and through, you connect with songs in a euphoric way, and uncontrollable reaction.

The song comes to an end. The boys look at you, waiting for your response. You stared at all of them, taking your time looking at each and every one of them for a moment.

“Guys, that was absolutely sick. That’s just... Sam give me my phone.”

He immediately handed it over to you.

You quickly save their music to your library and follow the band.

“We have a new fan!” Josh says with a smile as wide as his face. He continues, “so will you come tonight? Please?” He batts his eyes at you pleading.

You hesitate, “I would love to, but I have plans with my best friend Syd tonight. I can’t bail.”

All the boys looked at you, evidently bummed by your answer. Jake is the one who spoke up.

“See if she wants to come! If not, that’s fine. Here, put your number in my phone. I’ll text you the details.” He handed you his phone. As you typed in your number you said hopefully,

“Perfect! I’ll see what I can do!” You smile at all of them, Jake opened his mouth to say something when the front door bell rang followed by a group of teenagers coming in the store. You looked over seeing that the group was looking a little lost.

“Well boys, it was lovely to meet you, but I do have to get some work done. I get off at 6 tonight, so I’ll let you know if I can make it!”

The guys looked at you with big smiles filled with excitement.

“Wonderful!” Sam said clapping his hands together. “Just let us know!” He smiles and have me a side hug before walking towards to door. Josh said goodbye to me next with a hug and an excited clap of his hands, leaving with a wink causing you to laugh. Danny walked over to you and gave you a sweet side hug, “Hope you can make it tonight Y/N!” He waved to you while he walked away.

You smiled and waved as he walked out the door, chasing after the other boys who were out of the store by now. Your eyes fell to Jake who looked at you with an amused face.

“What?” You looked at him and giggled.

“You’re just...” He shook his head and smiled at the ground before continuing, “I hope you come tonight Y/N.” He took a step towards you and stopped, shuffling his feet, debating something, before walking towards the door. He stopped and looked back at you, “I’ll text you, alright?” You nodded your head towards him and waved goodbye before he walked out the door.

You went back to work, helping the other customers in the store before finishing your cd stocking. Rob came back out from his office and sent you on your much needed lunch break.

You made your way to the back room with your lunch box in hand, a nervous smile spreading on your lips while you pulled out your phone quickly typing in Syd’s contact to shoot her a text.

Y/N: Soooooo... How do you feel about going to a bonfire tonight instead a movie night🤗

Syd: Y/N. I don’t like people. You know this.

Y/N: Yes, but I will still buy you McDonalds, and there will be cute boys👏🏻

Syd: I mean... you had me with the nuggets, but boys help. You owe me. 🖕🏻

Y/N: 🖕🏻❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

THANK YOU FOR READING!

SHOOT ME SOME FEEDBACK LOVES!

-Trish

#greta van fleet #greta van fleet imagine #greta van fleet fanfiction #josh kiszka #jake kiszka #sam kiszka #dann wagner #imagine #josh kiszka imagine #jake kiszka imagine #sam kiszka imagine #Danny wagner imagine #please enjoy this omfg #GVF #original piece #yaaas queen #okay im done

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starlessmemes · 5 years

Text

❈ ✼ ❈ SIX (WEST END MUSICAL) SENTENCE MEME

EX-WIVES

‘ and tonight we are... live! ’

‘ listen up, let me tell you a story. ’

‘ know all about the glories and the disgraces. ’

‘ history’s about to get overthrown! ’

‘ just for you, tonight. ’

‘ raising up the roof 'till we hit the ceiling. ’

‘ i’m/we're gonna do myself/ourselves justice. ’

‘ once we're done we'll start again. ’

‘ everybody knows... ’

‘ was married 24 years. ’

‘ if you try to dump me, you won’t try that again. ’

‘ i’m up next! ’

‘ yeah, i’m that sexy! ’

‘ why did i lose my head? ’

‘ the only one he truly loved. ’

‘ ... rude. ’

‘ i’m not what i seem. ’

‘ but i didn’t look as good as i did in my pic. ’

‘ funny how we all discuss that. ’

‘ lock up your husbands. lock up your sons. ’

‘ the fun’s begun! ’

‘ i saw him to the end of his life. ’

‘ i’m the survivor! ’

‘ i bet you wanna know how i got this far. ’

‘ get your hands up, get this party buzzing! ’

‘ one, two, three, four, five, six. ’

NO WAY

‘ there’s no way! ’

‘ i never lost control, no matter how many times i knew you lied. ’

‘ you've had your fun, running around with some pretty young thing. ’

‘ no matter what i heard, i didn't say a word. ’

‘ i put up with your shh, like, every single day! ’

‘ now it’s time to shh. ’

‘ you must think that i’m crazy! ’

‘ you wanna replace me? ’

‘ just hold up. ’

‘ there’s no way! ’

‘ it’s a pity. ’

‘ well daddy, weren’t you there? ’

‘ must think that i’m naive. ’

‘ i won’t back down. ’

‘ no, i’ll never leave! ’

‘ you got me down on my knees. ’

‘ please tell me what you think i've done wrong. ’

‘ i tried to swallow my pride. ’

‘ if you can just explain a single thing i've done to cause you pain, i'll go. ’

‘ you’ve got nothing to say? ’

‘ i’m not going away. ’

‘ i'll be queen till the end of my life. ’

DON’T LOSE YOUR HEAD

‘ life was a chore. ’

‘ i wanna dance and sing. ’

‘ not my thing. ’

‘ and then i met the king! ’

‘ you should try and get ahead. ’

‘ he wanted me --- obviously. ’

‘ just saying hi. ’

‘ you’re a nice guy. i’ll think about it, maybe. ’

‘ uh oh, here we go. ’

‘ you sent him kisses? ’

‘ get a life! ’

‘ well, what was i mean to do? ’

‘ sorry, not sorry for what i said. ’

‘ i’m just trying to have some fun. ’

‘ don’t worry, don’t worry! ’

‘ i didn’t mean to hurt anyone. ’

‘ say oh well, or go to hell! ’

‘ three in the bed. ’

‘ make up your mind! ’

‘ don’t wanna be some girl in a threesome. ’

‘ are you blind? ’

‘ why hasn’t it hit her? ’

‘ he doesn’t wanna bang you, somebody hang you. ’

‘ i didn’t really mean it but rumours spiral. ’

‘ way to make the country hate you. ’

‘ the rules were so outdated. ’

‘ us two wanna get x-rated! ’

‘ everybody chill, it’s totes god’s will! ’

‘ let me tell you how it went... ’

‘ just sleeping around. ’

‘ what the hell? ’

‘ if that’s how it’s gonna be... ’

‘ like, so judgemental! ’

‘ you damned witch! ’

‘ just shut up! i wouldn’t be such a bitch if you could get it up. ’

‘ uh-oh... ’

‘ now he’s going round like, ‘off with her head!’ ’

‘ i’m pretty sure he means it. ’

‘ NO, GUYS, SERIOUSLY, I THINK HE WANTS TO CHOP MY HEAD OFF!!! ’

‘ don’t lose your head! ’

HEART OF STONE

‘ you’ve got a good heart but i know it changes. ’

‘ a restless tide, untameable. ’

‘ you came my way, and i knew a storm would come too. ’

‘ you’d lift me high or let me fall. ’

‘ i took your hand, promised i’d withstand any blaze you blew my way. ’

‘ i’ll always stay. ’

‘ you can build me up. ’

‘ you can tear my down. ’

‘ you can try. ’

‘ i’m unbreakable. ’

‘ you’ll find that i’m unshakeable. ’

‘ when the fire's burnt, when the wind has blown, when the water's dried, you'll still find stone. ’

‘ i’ve got a heart of stone. ’

‘ we’re perfect, a perfect family. ’

‘ hold us close for the world to see. ’

‘ you’re the only one i’ve ever loved. ’

‘ i mean those words, truthfully. ’

‘ your love could disappear. ’

‘ it isn’t fair, but i don’t care. ’

‘ my love will still be here. ’

‘ you’ll still find stone. ’

‘ soon i’ll have to go. ’

‘ i’ll never see him grown. ’

‘ i hope my son will know he’ll never be alone. ’

‘ a river runs dry and leaves its scars behind. ’

‘ i’ll be by your side. ’

‘ my love is set in stone. ’

HAUS OF HOLBEIN

‘ welcome to the house... ’

‘ das ist gut, ooh ja! ’

‘ _____ goes around the world. ’

‘ the king chooses one. ’

‘ which one will it be? ’

‘ no one wants a waist over nine inches. ’

‘ so what, the make-up contains lead poison? ’

‘ ignore the fear and you’ll be fine. ’

‘ so just say ‘ja’ and don’t say ‘nein’... ’

‘ we must make sure the princesses look great. ’

‘ try these heels, so high it's naughty. ’

‘ we cannot guarantee that you'll still walk at forty. ’

GET DOWN

‘ sittin’ here all alone. ’

‘ not very prim and proper. ’

‘ can’t make me stop. ’

‘ paid for with my own riches. ’

‘ where my hounds at? release the bitches! ’

‘ WOOF. ’

‘ tomorrow i’ll hit replay. ’

‘ you said that i tricked ya cause i didn’t look like my profile picture. ’

‘ too bad i don’t agree. ’

‘ you can’t stop me! ’

‘ i’m the queen of the castle. ’

‘ get down! ’

‘ as you were. ’

‘ making my way to the dance floor... ’

‘ lookin’ cute. ’

‘ all eyes on me! ’

‘ dance so hard that i’m causin’ a sensation. ’

‘ now i ain’t sayin’ i’m a gold digger, but check my pre-nup and go figure. ’

‘ let me explain. ’

‘ no one tells me that i need a rich man. ’

‘ get down with me. ’

‘ cause i’m the queen of the castle! ’

ALL YOU WANNA DO

‘ i think we can all agree, i’m the ten amongst these threes. ’

‘ ever since i was a child, i’d make the boys go wild! ’

‘ i was young, it’s true, but even then i knew. ’

‘ the only thing you wanna do is... ’ *kiss, sigh*

‘ tell me what you need, what you want, you don’t need to plead. ’

‘ i feel the chemistry. ’

‘ i get you, and you get me. ’

‘ maybe this is it. ’

‘ she/he just cares so much, it feels legit. we have a connection... i think this girl/guy is different! ’

‘ all you wanna do, baby, is touch me! love me! can’t get enough! ’

‘ please me, squeeze me, birds-and-the-bees me! ’

‘ run your fingers through my hair. ’

‘ tell me i’m the fairest of the fair. ’

‘ playtime’s over... ’

‘ then there was another guy... ’

‘ passion in all that she/he touches... ’

‘ say i’m what you need, all you want. ’

‘ you don’t need to plead! ’

‘ you can't wait a second more to get my corset on the floor. ’

‘ yeah, that didn’t work out. ’

‘ you’ll never guess who i met... ’

‘ he swears it's true, that without me he doesn't know what he'd do. ’

‘ i’m finally where i’m mean to be. ’

‘ she/he cares so much! she/he calls me ‘love’... ’

‘ i guess it’s not so different... ’

‘ there's no time for when or how 'cause you just got to have me now. ’

‘ so... we got married. ’

‘ it isn’t easy. ’

‘ he’s a really nice guy --- just so sincere. ’

‘ this guy/girl finally is what i want, the friend i need. ’

‘ why did i think he’d be different. ’

‘ it’s never ever different! ’

‘ when will enough be enough? ’

‘ don’t care if you don’t please me. ’

‘ bite my lip and pull my hair as you tell me i'm the fairest of the fair! ’

I DON’T NEED YOUR LOVE

‘ you know i love you. ’

‘ i’ll miss you every day. ’

‘ i wish that i could stay with you, and keep the life i made with you. ’

‘ even though this feels so right, i'm holding back the tears tonight. ’

‘ it’s true, i’ll never be over you. ’

‘ i have built a future in my mind with you. ’

‘ now the hope is gone. ’

‘ there’s nothing left for me to do. ’

‘ you know it isn’t true. ’

‘ i don’t need your love, no, no. ’

‘ it’ll never be better than it was. ’

‘ i never had a choice! ’

‘ i’ve been a wife twice before just to survive. ’

‘ no matter how i feel, it’s what i have to do. ’

‘ if, somehow, i had a choice, no holding back, i’d raise my voice. ’

‘ i’ll never belong to you. ’

‘ i am not your toy to enjoy until there’s something new. ’

‘ as if i’m gonna give up my life, my work, my dreams, to care for you! ’

‘ darling, get a clue. ’

‘ there’s nothing you can do. ’

‘ there’s nothing left to discuss. ’

‘ so... this is goodbye. ’

‘ that’s not my story! ’

‘ why can’t i tell that story? ’

‘ cause in history, i’m fixed. ’

‘ without him, i disappear. ’

‘ we all disappear. ’

‘ but now it’s us alone. ’

‘ i’m gonna raise my voice. ’

‘ they always said, 'we need your love', but it's time for us to rise above. ’

‘ tonight i’m singing this for me. ’

‘ yeah, i’m through. ’

‘ i have had enough love stories to get old. ’

‘ i’ve got to let your love run cold. ’

‘ we’re taking back control. ’

SIX

‘ he got down on one knee but i said no way ’

‘ since my first son, our family's grown. ’

‘ we’re one of a kind, no category. ’

‘ we’re free to take our crowning glory. ’

‘ for five more minutes! ’

‘ who needs him/her? i can give it a try. ’

‘ i learned everything! ’

‘ i’ll do that until i die. ’

‘ nothing is for sure, nothing is for certain. ’

‘ we’re six! ’

#sentence memes #sentence starters #rp meme #starters #rp memes

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f47k47 · 5 years

Text

3AM 23/1/19

Where to begin... Life’s been crazy, but also stagnant at the same time. How are we in 2019 already... I jumped on here just to bookmark a day in my life, really. Nothing special happened today. Replied to some emails, sent out some quotes, collaborated with another business to exchange work, collected work from the PO, went to the gym, checked the scales and I’m closer to my current goal, spoke to the majority of my closest friends, watched the tennis, spoke to mum, dad, brother. Not a bad day.

It’s weird how everyone around me seems more be worried about my problems than myself. I don’t like to dwell on things, even if they have passed or are still occurring. That’s just me, I might react however I would in the moment, then I’ll look forward, move onto the next, or sometimes even completely ignore the problem/ situation. Is this good? Bad? Depends on so many things I guess.

When shit happens that would usually send people into a downward spiral, my recent reaction has been something like “we all die anyway”. True? Well, of course. Is that a “bad” way to react though? I mean, why do people get so hyped, or take things so seriously, we all die and we’re 1 person, existing during this one moment, in a world currently with a population of >7 billion people, almost 8, among 2000/ millions of years (depending on what you believe in). Like, who the hell cares?

Do people just invent all these things... Food, activities, jobs, degrees, to give people purpose and fulfill boredom..? Legit.

Maybe I’m too careless for my own good, or maybe it’s my biggest strength.

I’ve really missed writing some things here. Thankful for Tumblr. Thanks for being a bone in spine. I wanted to just say something today, but it’s 3am and I didn’t know who to bother about my useless shit. Then I remembered it existed!

I actually logged on last night and saw that someone I’ve followed for awhile,m who has always liked or complemented my posts for years had posted saying that he wanted to delete his account, that he’s tired and couldn’t do it anymore... Didn’t know what was going on, didn’t sound too good, but I replied and told him to not. Simply.

Logged in tonight and found a reply. His 25 yo son had died a few months ago and his wife and him are having issues between, as they cope with the event... Damn, learning that news really tells me that I have 0 problems. I’m thankful for everything right now. Even shit in my life people would see as troubles, bad luck, or misfortune. Nope. Everything’s good.

Best,

Kathryn.

#adhd #adhdproblems #undiagnosedadhd #lol #sydneygirls

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falseroar · 6 years

Text

Some Concerns

((Like Broken Pieces, this is a sort of spinoff story from Can You Wake Up?

Still totally legit canon.))

While you preferred to spend your time at the egos’ house, if only because there was no telling what could happen from one day to the next, it was nice to know Mark had a room for you at his place. You found yourself staying over whenever the egos were getting to be a little too much to handle, or when Dark was being too, well, Dark. Or just when you wanted to spend some quality time with Chica.

Hanging out with Mark and his friends could be fun, but more and more you began to notice a…pattern with Mark.

There was the one afternoon you and Chica were lying on the floor of the living room, both tired out from playing. Chica was panting heavily, her paws up in the air and her tongue lolling, while you were wondering if it would be worth moving to the couch or if you could just nap here on the floor. You heard footsteps and lifted your head in time to see Mark walk in with a collar in hand.

“Oh, did you get that for Chica?” you asked. Her collar was starting to fray around the edges, but you were a little surprised he didn’t pick out a cuter one.

“What? No!” Mark looked horrified at the thought. “This is a shock collar!”

Seeing your expression, he quickly added, “It’s for a video.”

“…Okay.” You shrugged and then grunted when Chica stepped on your chest on her way to go see Mark, and that was the end of that conversation. It wasn’t like it was the weirdest thing you had seen Mark do for a video.

Then there was the scene you walked into a day or so later.

“Hey, Mark, did you change the WiFi pass—”

You stopped short when you looked up from your phone and saw Mark dangling in a climbing harness with Tyler standing next to him wielding a plastic baseball bat, both trying to get some bags of candy open.

“It’s for a video, I swear,” Mark said, accidentally spilling candy over the floor at the same time, and Tyler nodded.

“…Okay. Can I have a piece of candy?” you asked.

“Only after Tyler’s beaten it out of me,” Mark answered and Tyler whacked him with the baseball bat as demonstration. “Hey! We’re not even recording yet!”

Another day you were in the kitchen making a sandwich when Mark came in holding up a jar of peppers like it was a shining trophy.

“Ghost peppers!” he announced as he set them down on the table.

“For a video?”

“Yes!” Mark slammed his hand down on the table for emphasis as he said, “I am making a commitment, and this is going to show just how committed I am!”

“…Okay. Did you remember to buy milk too?”

Mark slammed his hand down on the table again. “No, I did not!”

You watched him leave, yelling about going back to the store and how he supposed he could do this the smart way if he had to, and glanced at the jar of ghost peppers.

How hot could they be, really?

Mark reappeared at the kitchen door and grabbed the jar, looking at you suspiciously. “I’m taking these with me.”

He backed out of the kitchen, watching you all the way through narrowed eyes until the wall blocked his view. You shrugged and went back to making your sandwich.

He probably had a good point on that one.

All in all, this was fairly normal behavior for Mark. No, what concerned you was that night.

That night you walked downstairs to the kitchen in search of a glass of water before bed and found the light already on. You walked in to find Mark standing at the table, a couple of clear bowls and ingredients in front of him and off-white slime smeared all over his face and hands, leaving two dark dots for eyes. His glasses lay on the table, already so coated with slime that they were impossible to see through.

As you stared at each other, a small dollop of slime slid down and completely missed every single bowl.

“Is this for a video?” you asked, even though you couldn’t see a camera anywhere.

Mark hesitated and then sighed, sputtering slime. “Can we just pretend I said yes?”

“…I’m sleeping in the Barrel tonight.”

He sighed again, his nod sending a new dollop spiraling downward. “Yeah, I get that.”

((End of...whatever this is.

References: 50 question in 5 minutes w/Shock collar, Human piñata, Ghost pepper of commitment, How to make slime videos. All real things Mark has done to himself. Seriously, should we be concerned at this point, or just embracing the weird?))

#markiplier #april fools #can you wake up #goopiplier #kinkiplier #year of the weird #fanfic #markiplier fanfiction #1 of 3

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artificialqueens · 7 years

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Just Tonight #7 (Shalaska) - BABE

AN: Alrighty, I never thought I’d be back here. It’s been a rough few months and every time I sat down to write I drew blanks. When I was motivated, I couldn’t get my laptop working and now that I have, I’m back. I’m keeping to my original plan for this story and hope the fans that were with me so many months ago are still there. I love you all so much and I’m sorry for not being around to write this story. Keep it foxy x

“We were staying in Paris to get away from your parents and I thought, ‘Wow, if I could take this in a shot right now I don’t think that we could work this out,” Alaska sang quietly as she sat in her seat on the airplane. Roxxxy sat to her right and could barely contain her excitement while the blonde didn’t have much excitement at 6 o’clock in the morning. It was the first day of spring break and Alaska knew that she should be sleeping in right now but she had a bigger mission to accomplish – seeing Sharon for the first time in two weeks. Of course, they’d been using Skype and Facetime and Sharon was quite good at using Snapchat (for many reasons, Alaska noted) but it would be nice to have her in her arms again. There were small things, like the way her hips tingled when Sharon kissed her, or the goosebumps that covered her arms at the lightest of the girl’s touches that Alaska missed, but the thing she missed the most was just how warm the older girl was. With her headphones in her ears and the plane up in the air, Alaska found herself slipping into the depths of sleep, knowing that in an hour or so, Sharon would be back to her.

An hour later, Alaska stirred to her the sounds of the no seatbelt sign going off and announcements that they were arriving in New York at any minute. The city intrigued her, she had never been but all of the idealistic ideas that had been presented to her in late night reruns of Sex and The City made her believe that it was the most magical place on Earth. Plus, being here with Sharon in one of the coolest cities in the world was a bonus.

“I’m so excited to see Dee,” Roxxxy was babbling beside her. She was rambling about how long it had been since they’d seen each other and how lonely she’d been, feelings that Alaska related to but couldn’t handle. The one hour nap could only help the blonde tolerate the other girl’s pep.

Roxxxy’s voice was in her ear all throughout leaving the plane, luggage collection and the coffee that she had purchased from Starbucks to keep her awake. It was only when two familiar figures came into Alaska’s vision that Roxxxy was speechless. Without a second thought, the dark haired girl dove into Dee’s arms, accidentally knocking her to the ground. It caused a scene in the airport as many onlookers watched the public display of affection. Sharon and Alaska, however, both tiredly embraced, their lips meeting each other’s passionately but sleepily. It was their good morning kiss, one that they’d mastered because neither were morning people.

“I missed you,” Alaska whispered, a small smile on her lips.

“I missed you too.”

The ride from the airport to the three star hotel was spent sleeping in Sharon’s arms, only to be awakened by the older girl when they got to their destination. Alaska felt bad for not saying hello to Jinkx and Ivy first but Sharon took their younger girl straight up to their room, herself tired from the lack of sleep on the tour bus the night before. There, they skipped conversations, they skipped niceties, they even skipped the reunion sex that both were dying to have. All that Sharon and Alaska did was get into their bed and sleep for the day, Sharon’s arms wrapped tightly around Alaska’s waist.

This is what they missed the most.

———————–

Alaska woke up to the sound of pounding on the door, realising that Sharon was no longer in bed. She groggily looked at the clock’s time and was shocked to find it read 2:37 pm, which was a lot longer than she’d planned to sleep for, especially since the band was in New York and she’d wanted to explore the city. As she tiredly stumbled towards the door, Alaska was relieved to look through the peep hole and find that it was Roxxxy. Opening the door, she grinned.

“Hey, Rox,” she greeted, letting the girl into the room. The other girl looked completely fresh and prepared while Alaska’s hair was a mess and she was still in her clothes from the airport. “Do you know where Sharon is?”

“Yeah, they’ve gone to sound check,” Roxxxy replied, her voice fully of her normal energetic attitude. Alaska noted that the girl’s excessive excitement had lessened after seeing Dee for the first time in a couple of weeks. “I was talking to the tour manager, Michelle, and she said that the girls would have to do sound check at 2:30 for an hour, then they’re free until dinner at 6 and concert at 7. This shit is legit, Lasky. They’ve got a tour bus and roadies and all that jazz but the performances are still in clubs and small venues, it’s like having the best of both worlds. Anyways, get ready. We’re meeting the band in an hour and you look like a mess. No offence, girl.” Roxxxy sat down on the bed, puffed out after her excessive rambling while Alaska rushed around her room, trying to get ready. She somehow felt an immense pressure to look good for Sharon, something she hadn’t really had before. She showered quickly and brushed out her knotty hair while Roxxxy told her all about her and Dee’s afternoon. Lucky for Alaska, there were no sordid details, just shopping and chilling in Central Park which sounded delightfully like them.

In her mind, she knew that their day wasn’t as good as hers.

—————————-

The first day was a complete blur to Alaska, one that made her feel all fuzzy and warm at the end of the night. She remembered some pieces – trying to navigate the crazy streets with Roxxxy and getting completely lost, having to be bailed out by Michelle and making it to the sound check only to see that their check had been over half an hour ago. Sharon looked relieved to see Alaska, pulling her into a hug and whispering “I’ve got a big surprise for you” in the blonde’s ear. She held a picnic basket out of Alaska’s sight and took her hand and led her out the door.

Sharon’s big surprise had been the Empire State Building. Alaska had never been anywhere so high and the height and Sharon’s goofy smirk and the smell of the rose bouquet and the champagne made her dizzy. She was drunk on love and never wanted it to change. The girls clung to each other as the day turned colder, the spring air unusually chilly.

“A moment like this should never end,” Alaska murmured wistfully as they linked hands. Sharon grinned in reply, humming to Just Tonight, Alaska singing as they grasped hands. The two danced as people passed them for what felt like hours, until they were the only people there and they realised that they’d skipped dinner and were almost late for the gig. Alaska took one last look at the blanket of lights that covered the city and took in its magic, hoping the magic would stay with the couple as long as they lived.

Luckily for Sharon, the couple arrived back at the venue with enough time to change for the concert. Alaska stood side stage and watched on admirably, knowing that she’d be called on stage to sing The Only Exception like she had weeks ago, it had become Anarchy Rose’s most popular song. It was exactly the same as it was last time and gave her the exact same rush.

“Up until now I had sworn to myself that I’m content with loneliness, because none of it was ever worth the risk,” the two sang, as if nobody was watching. It was a beautiful end to a perfect day.

When the other bands went on, Alaska watched them from Sharon’s arms. Nothing could ever go wrong, she thought.

—————————-

Unfortunately for the two, a lot could definitely go wrong.

It started off as tiny tensions – Alaska wanting to spend lots of time with Sharon, who was too busy trying to write new and amazing songs for a potential album. The bus became too cramped for the people staying on it and Alaska often either felt overwhelmed or isolated. As the bus travelled from each city, things changed for the couple. The dates like in New York started dwindling, the romantic PDA that they had not been afraid of felt like a foreign concept and Alaska would go hours just curled up in the bus with her headphones in her ears. Everyone noticed it, it was making everyone uncomfortable.

In Boston, things spiralled out of control.

Alaska stood side stage, waiting to be called onto the stage to sing The Only Exception. It was a chore now, but it was still her song. Someone’s footage from New York of the two singing it had gone viral, and the added exposure sent Sharon back into her rocker persona. Now, she was drunk and the opening bars of the song were playing, but Alaska was not invited out onto the stage. Hell, she wasn’t even given the credit. It wouldn’t have been a huge deal if they hadn’t felt the distance that they had been feeling. As she watched a song that was her baby being sung to a crowd, she felt herself getting emotional. Not wanting to cause a scene, she ran outside, letting the tears spill from her eyes.

When Sharon strutted off the stage, she was expecting Alaska to be there with the amazement with her eyes like she used to show, but was shocked to see the blonde nowhere in sight. Roxxxy pointed to the door where Alaska ran out of wordlessly, a glare on her face. Sharon, confused by the look and the amount of alcohol she had consumed, followed the gesture. Her confusion increased as she saw a crying Alaska in the alleyway. Mascara starting to drip down her cheeks.

“Lasky,” she started, placing a hand on the girl’s shoulder. “What’s wrong?” Alaska stopped crying as she shrugged Sharon’s hand away, their eyes locking together.

“I can’t do this anymore,” she barely whispered, her voice cracking. New tears were threatening to spill from her big eyes. “We’re not the same couple as we were in New York and I don’t know why. What happened to us? Why does it feel like you’re a thousand miles away all of a sudden?”

“I don’t know what you’re tal-“

“Quit the bullshit, Sharon. I know you feel it too,” Alaska’s tone was much harsher than Sharon expected. “Sometimes we don’t talk. I see Jinkx and Ivy all coupley and we’ve barely even cuddled in days. I feel so fucking isolated from you!” She took a breath as her voice grew with volume. “You’re living your dream, congratulations. But it feels as if I’m not part of that dream anymore.”

“Lasky, please…” Sharon started, but Alaska had already started to walk away. She spun on her heels, vulnerability in her eyes. It was something so new and so scary, even as months had passed for them.

“I understand that you still love me, but I need time. I’m going home, talk to me when you’re back in Pittsburgh.” With that, Alaska had disappeared from her view, and Sharon wanted to break down so badly. Instead, she held it in, pulled out a cigarette and tried to calm herself down. If she couldn’t have Alaska, then it was as if she was back to square one.

#alaska thunderfuck #sharon needles #shalaska #angst #fluff #just tonight #babe #rpdr fanfiction #submission #just tonight by babe #lesbian au

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btsjfans · 7 years

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“Class Clown” Part 3

Hey, I’ve gotten a lot of good feedback and requests for part three, so here I am, in the middle of nowhere with bad service, typing this on mobile. I hope this isn’t crap, please excuse the sloppiness in this. I’ll re blog part 2 which has a link to part 1 If you want to catch up. Thank you for all the support as well, xx

Summery: The class clown, Taehyung, has a lot more going on at home than anybody else realizes, especially not you, the class valedictorian.

Taehyung x Reader

Fluff, angst (mentions of abuse, alcoholism, etc.)

Don’t forget to send in feedback and requests for new stories and reactions about any of the boys!

Your POV:

You stare at Jin across the room the next day, but feel nothing. After 4 years of feeling butterflies when he so much as blinked in your direction, you feel nothing as you stare into the face of this boy. He turns his head suddenly, and holds eye contact with you, you keep staring before you realize what’s happening and you gasp quietly and blush looking away, earning a small smile from Jin. Even now, as Jin laughs at your embarrassment, you feel more cringey than hopelessly romantic. If anything you wish it were V who caught you staring. Speaking of which, he’s still not in class. You check your phone, 8:56, you think, class started 11 minutes ago. You send V a quick text, wondering where he is.

To V: Hey, class started 11 minutes ago, why aren’t you here?

He was fine last time you saw him. You smile, remembering the last time you saw him. His big, dark eyes twinkling with mischief, and adoration even. His big boxy smile blinding you. His dark hair flopping upside down as he lay on his back, staring up at you. Where is this kid?!

Last Night (Tae’s POV)

Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god! My mind races with questions and my heart is practically pounding out of my chest. I just walked back in from my date with Y/N when I’d tripped over Jungkook’s bloodied body on the floor. There was no sign of dad, so he either left as soon as he realized what he had done, or Kookie was attacked by a burglar. I was going to go with number one. I rolled him onto his back, and stared into his face. His sweet, innocent face was distorted by a broken nose, and a busted lip. Blood caked his face and drip down onto his neck and clothes, and his left eye was swollen shut. What kind of monster could do this to you Kook?! He was still breathing, which was my first concern. If I lost Kookie too, I think I would’ve gone off the deep end. Even at the thought of it, my eyes fill with tears and I bite them back as I think of what to do. I’ve taken a few bad hits like this, but usually I’m back up within 5-10 minutes. From the looks of this, he seems to have been here for about an hour. I get up and grab a cold, wet washcloth and start to dab his face, cleaning his injuries and ridding his face of the blood. I’ve shaken him, and called his name, even slapping around his face a bit. Nothing. Do I call 911?! Do I get the neighbors?! Oh god, oh god, oh god…

Your POV

As class went on, no reply from V. Radio silence from the boy you started to catch feelings for. You were so busy worrying about V, you didn’t see Jin staring at you the entire hour. As class let out, you grabbed your bags and started to head out the door when you feel a firm hand grab onto your arm and pull you back. You turn around to see Jin standing there, a shy smile on his face.

“Hey, Y/N, I was just wondering if you’d maybe wanna, uh, go out Friday night?” Jin smiled at you, taking his hand off of your arm. You’d been waiting for this moment for 4 years. You’d fantasized about this happening time and time again. Your first thought is to yell ‘YES!’ but you don’t. After 4 years of never speaking to you, why now? And what about V? You decide to take the diplomatic route.

“I would love to, but I’ll have to check my schedule. I’ll get back to you on this tomorrow.” You smile and turn, walking away. After a high school career of getting no action, you suddenly have two boys sparring for your heart?

Last Night (Tae’s POV)

I pour icy water on his face, which jerks him back to reality. By this point, we were nearing on hour 2, and I was a hysterical mess. I went to call 911, but I was coughing and sniffling so much I couldn’t get a word out. Kookie coughs and starts to groan and I let out a strangled laugh and hug him close against me.

“What-” I cough, “Happened?!” Kookie takes a moment to get his bearings and he weakly leans against my body. After he takes a breather, he looks up at me shakily.

“Dad wanted to know where you were and I said I didn’t know and it just spiraled out of control from there.” He looks around, seeming like a small boy in my arms. He’s only 15, he doesn’t deserve this. What kind of brother am I? Letting us stay in this hellhole. I’m sure you you’re wondering why we still are even here when we could’ve gotten help long ago? Because Jungkook loves him. Because Kookie still believes in our dad. When we were in middle school, and it just started, I suggested we tell somebody, but he said no. He told me that dad was just struggling with the loss of our mom, and that we needed to be there for him. I think he’s just scared to lose what little family we have left. I don’t know where I need to draw the line though…is this where I just step in and get us help? “How do you feel?” I ask, holding him tight, afraid to let go. “I just..Get me in bed and get me some pain meds. I can sleep it off.” I carry Jungkook to his bed and lay him in gently, and bring him some pain meds after. I stay and watch him sleep for a few minutes before I quietly turn off his alarm clock and head to the front door, locking it. Nobody is getting in tonight, and nobody is going out tomorrow morning. Not if I can help it.

(Today) Tae’s POV

I wake up at 11:18am to hear silence in the house. I almost forget that it’s Thursday and not Saturday. I sit up on the edge of my bed and run my hand through my hair and rub my hands along my sweatpants. I can hear my phone chiming, but I need to check on Jungkook. I walk out into the living room and see the door still locked, meaning dad didn’t even try and come in. I peek into Kookie’s room and see him peacefully asleep on his bed, hugging a pillow against his chest. I smile a little at the sight, and I almost feel like a proud parent. Seeing this boy I helped raise growing up. I close the door gingerly and step into the kitchen to make breakfast when I hear my phone go off again and I pick it up and smile seeing Y/N’s name pop up all over my notifications. I click on our messages and scroll through them.

From: Y/N

Hey, class started 11 minutes ago, why aren’t you here?

V where are you?

V??? ??????

Ugh fine, ignore me Jin asked me out on a date

The last one makes me blanch. Of course I feel bad and kinda flattered Y/N was worried about me, but Jin?! He’s my best friend! He’s known I’ve liked her for a year now, and he’s legit never cared! What’s his deal?! He gets every single girl, why can’t I have one? He’s the dream guy for girls, he’s tall, strong, handsome, athletic, kind, and smart. I’m kinda attractive, and nice, and that’s it. I thought I finally had done it, and gotten the girl of my dreams but I guess even she would rather have Jin than me. I don’t know what to say honestly, I just want to see that look in her eyes again. When she told me how she felt, a small blush crept into her cheeks, and she had a sentimental, and shy shine in her eyes. She does the littlest things and it drives me crazy with desire. She’s so…her. And that’s everything I’ve ever wanted. I wait a moment to collect my thoughts before I text back.

To: Y/N

What did you say?

I check the time stamps on them, and see that they’re from several hours ago, meaning anything could’ve happened by now. I stare down at the message, reading and rereading it. Jin. I decide not to text him, I’m not really the confrontational type since I can get all the confrontations I’d ever want in my very own living room. If she goes for him, I’ll talk it out with him whenever I see him again, if not, I’ll let it go and pretend it didn’t happen. I’m jolted from my musings as a text from Y/N comes in, and I read it from my notifications before texting back.

From Y/N: I said I’d have to see if I was busy that day.

Okay, vague. What’s that even mean? Is she?

To Y/N: Are you?

I wait until it says read and I see her typing. My heart pounds and I bite my lip. What if she doesn’t want me? Of course she wouldn’t, Y/N has such high standards. She deserves the world, and I can’t give her crap. I should’ve known it was too good to be true.

From Y/N:

Depends. Are you busy Friday?

I feel a smile slip onto my face. I type yes in and start to brainstorm our perfect date when a cough from the other room disturbs me. Jungkook. What do I do about him? Can I trust Y/N with this? She’s smart so she probably knows what to do. Agh. Okay. I click out of our message and go to Jungkook’s best friend Jimin’s number and ask him if Kookie can sleepover Friday. I want to make sure he’s out of the way and taken care of since I won’t be at he house to watch over him. Jimin is such a good friend. Kookie hasn’t told him about how he gets hurt, but Jimin knows, and he takes care of him. Jimin is like my Jin, except Jimin wouldn’t double cross Kookie like Jin did to me. Your POV:

Okay, so V texted back. He didn’t explain where he’s at, he just skipped right to the Jin situation, which makes you feel good to know he cares that much. You can’t help but wonder what it would be like to go out with Jin. He runs in the most popular crowd in school with V and Namjoon and Hoseok and Yoongi. What would this mean for you? You were never super popular, just liked enough nobody bugged you and left you and Amari alone to be Valedictorian. You ran with a quieter crowd of dedicated kids like you, so would that change? Would they still respect you? You’d liked Jin for years, would one date hurt? Just as you start to consider it V replies.

From V:

No I’m not busy. If you’d have me, I’d like to take you out Friday night. We could go ice skating at that outdoor rink downtown, then go see a drive in movie. I’d have you home by 11:30-12 at the latest and pick you up at 5:30.

You suddenly forget Jin. V was so thoughtful and respectful, you expected a “no I’m not busy, why” kind of reply. But this went above and beyond. This was like those dream dates from the movies. You don’t even realize you’re smiling until Jin points it out.

“What’re you smiling about cutie?” Jin is suddenly beside your table smiling down at you. Why he’s paying so much attention to you now, you don’t know. But as you look up at him, you don’t see the same sincerity in his eyes that V has. Jin was fake, and you knew it all along, but he seemed so perfect you couldn’t help but dream.

“Ah just a funny text. And about Friday I’m sorry, I’m busy. Thanks though.” You smile politely and really kinda want him to just go away so you can show Amari all of this. Jin’s eyes harden and his lips press tightly together for a moment before he’s back to that fake dazzling smile.

"No prob. Some other time.” Jin smiles walking away and you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. That look in Jin’s eyes was honestly kind of scary. As you watch Jin saunter off you remember to text V back.

Tae’s POV:

From Y/N:

It’s a date.

The words pop up on my screen. Those three words. I feel a smile grow on my face and I bite my lip to keep from laughing. I lay back on the bed and smile closing my eyes and imagine the date. Us, holding hands as we skate, Y/N smiling, And helping hold me up because I can’t skate to save my life, then us at the drive in movie. Maybe cuddling together if she’d be okay with that.

"You’re texting Y/N,” Jungkook says, smiling and standing in the doorway. I sit up and set my phone down looking at the boy. His nose his bandaged up and seems to be holding up pretty well, his eye is super swollen, and his lip is still swollen red. He will definitely be staying home again tomorrow. I check the clock, seeing he slept in until 11:30, which was a good 14 hours.

"How do you feel?” I ask and pull him to the kitchen to get him some pain meds and breakfast.

"Achey. But fine. Now back to Y/N,” Kookie smiles winking with his good eye and leans against the counter. I can’t help but smile at him, even through all this all he can think about his getting the gossip from my life.

"Well we’re going on a date Friday, and you’re sleeping over at Jimin’s.” I say, pouring him a bowl of cereal.

"Today is Wednesday right?” Kookie pulls out the milk and pours it in sitting at the counter and eating. I nod and put the food away and slide him some pain meds.

"What’re you gonna do?” He asks through a mouthful of cereal.

"I was going to take her ice skating and then maybe use Jin’s truck and go to the drive in.” I say and feel a nervous pang as I say Jin’s name. He’s always been a good friend, but when he’s mad he’s scary. I just hope he’ll be chilled out about this.

"Dude you can’t skate at all,” Jungkook grins at me and I grin eating my own cereal.

"I know, an ice skating date seems like every girl’s cliche dream date I thought it would make her happy.”

"Man you really like her.” He grins finishing his food. We stay home on Thursday, still no sign of dad. I go back on Friday and leave Kookie home, but tell him to text me if anything happens. As soon as I walk into 1st period, my eyes go right to Y/N. She doesn’t see me, she’s too busy talking to Amari. I forgot how much I missed her until she was right in front of me. Her smile, the way she sits, hearing her laugh, just watching her be herself.

"KING V IS BACK!” Jin bellows walking in and people grin and laugh, and even I can’t help grinning.

"Hopefully nobody dethroned me in my absence,” I grin, earning a chuckle from my peers. I can feel Y/N’s eyes on me, and I turn my head back and grin at her and wink. I can see her blush a little, and I grin even bigger as her smile grows. Jin drags me down to our usual table with Yoongi and Hoseok.

"So where were you?” Yoongi asks in his usual carefree voice, but I can see his real interest is in Amari as he stares across the room at her.

"I got sick,” I say running a hand through my hair and lean back in my chair the way teachers hate. At my sick comment, Jin rolls his eyes and casts me a knowing look since he’s guessed already what really happened.

"You better not get me sick you afflicted beast!” Hoseok throws a paper wad at my face and laughs.

Your POV:

You watch V as he grins and laughs with his friends, occasionally turning to smile at you. He’s such a good guy. He’s just so pure. As you go to leave the room V jogs up to your side and hooks arms with you grinning.

"Excited for tonight?” He grins and pulls you over to the lockers leaning against them and unhooking your arms as he faces you.

“Yeah. 5:30 right?” You smile, falling into his warm gaze.

“Precisely. They’re playing an old Audrey Hepburn movie at the drive in tonight, is that okay?” V grins and pushes a lock of hair behind your ear, sending chills down your arms.

“Yeah, I love classics.” You say and glance at the clock. “V you need to get to class, you’ll be late.” You grab his hands pulling him off the lockers and gently push him in the direction of his next class. He smiles winking and saunters up the stairs. You turn around to walk to class in the early empty hallway when you crash into Jin’s chest.

“So that’s the reason you’re too busy for me?”

Thank you guys for your support! I'm sorry if this part seemed rushed, and not as quality, I'm on mobile and trying to figure out how to type this all and stuff and I hope I didn't let you down! Don't forget to leave more feedback if you want a part 4!

#bts #bts v #bts taehyung #bts jimin #bts jungkook #bts jin #bts jhope #bts suga #bts yoongi #bts rap monster #bts reactions #bts scenario #bts scene #bts smut #taehyung #bts fanfction #bts fanfic

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istrys · 7 years

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Turning Pages Turned to Stone (Finale)

Tyrasam took her time walking down the hallway. There was a lot she wanted to tell the woman who destroyed Zaldrannar, but she was conflicted; she knew Whitstan was the one who took Zerethel’s life, yet this Istrys woman was being punished for it all the same. Guilt crept up into the back of her throat for not speaking out against this obvious injustice, but judging how High Justicar Arveld addressed the three Undead, it wouldn’t have done them any good. The hallway itself was dimly lit with candles, spiraling down further into the earth, hidden away from prying eyes and the warmth of the Holy Light. When she found the single cell and the two guards near the end of the hallway, the Paladin took in a sharp breath before they took notice of her presence.

“I want to speak with the woman who poisoned my husband.” Tyrasam addressed them as politely and assertively as she could, hoping they were in the generous mood to give her what she wanted; but they stared at her for several moments, questioning her intention.

“Keep it brief.” One of them commanded, while they both stepped away from the iron bars. “And you will not enter her cell… and we will be within earshot.” She didn’t respond as they walked away, giving her enough space to step to the cell. The room itself was pitch black and silent, causing the Paladin to question whether or not Istrys was even in there. After several prolonged moments in deafening silence, Tyrasam suddenly heard the woman shift around in the furthermost corner of her cell.

“Have you come to mock me?” Istrys asked, while her fading cerulean eyes opened to reveal herself. “If you have anything you want to get off your mind, now’s your last chance.”

“I’m not here to taunt you.” Tyrasam squinted to get a better look at the Necromancer, but for the most part she hid herself well in the darkness. A part of her wanted to tell her exactly what she thought of this silver-haired witch of a woman, but it didn't feel right to insult someone waiting for their execution. Tyrasam never trusted her around her husband, and the few times she walked in on them having a conversation alone would always spoil whatever good mood she had; thoughts of Zerethel cheating on her with this harpy made her stomach churn, but she did her best to hide these feelings, knowing no good would come from such paranoid delusions. “I wanted you to answer a few questions for me. When Zereth gave the order to betray Alucieus… what was he doing? What did he look like?”

“Looked like a man who was losing his shit.” Istrys spoke dryly. “When Rethandus and Whitstan were done with their duel, which was fantastic by the way, your hubby wasn’t too pleased. He clutched his head and collapsed to his knees, mumbling something underneath his breath. When he rose back up to his feet, he was-”

“I get the gist of it.” The Paladin frowned, tightening her grip around the iron bars. “So it really was fel poisoning… are you absolutely sure you weren’t responsible for that? I know you likely lied to High Justicar Arveld’s face… but was what you said true?”

“I didn’t poison your damn husband.” Istrys hissed, her sense of humor vanishing once more. “I didn’t stop it from happening either, though, so I guess that’s just as bad. Not that it matters now.”

“It matters to me.” She sharply inhaled again, momentarily distracted by her own thoughts. “And Rethandus? Whitstan? Were they involved…?”

“You already know the answer if you have to ask.” The Necromancer closed her eyes and seemingly vanished from sight, but she was too weak to move around. “Ask them yourself. Both of them seem to have a weakness for your pampered princess of a daughter.”

“I saw him and the Blackguard leaving Zaldrannar when I was shopping in Silvermoon.” Tyrasam started. “I saw the plumes of smoke rising from the nearby island an hour later. Was that Zereth’s doing?”

“It was.” the Necromancer leaned forward, letting what little light leaking into her cell illuminate half of her face. “A bounty was placed on you, your little girl and your late husband. Your grandfather-in-law wanted you dead. I’m sure you’d know why better than I do.” Tyrasam remained silent, unable to speak a coherent sentence with her thoughts in such disarray. She knew Zerethel’s father hated his youngest son, and hated her for loving him, but never in a thousand years could she believe he was capable of putting a hit on his own flesh and blood, his own daughter-in-law and even worse, sweet little Jaeras; the thought of his cruel grin spreading across his wrinkled face with their three heads presented to him on a silver platter made her stomach turn. Eventually she managed to push those thoughts aside, and glance back up at Istrys.

“He would never…” She stuttered, unsure how to handle this news.

“When Zerethel caught wind of this bounty, he decided to strike first. He brought me along with the Blackguard Elite, and we visited the homes of both of his brothers before we found Kolos himself locked away in Dalaran.”

“He did it to protect us.” Tyrasam declared, unconvincingly. “He did it to protect me…”

“Did he?” Istrys asked, slinking back into the darkness. “Or did he need a reason to slaughter his kin? He didn’t just kill his father, you know. He killed both of his brothers as well. He even killed their children. Zerethel wiped out the entire Kash’kaar bloodline, sparing only you and your girl. And the worst part…? He enjoyed it.” Tyrasam began breathing heavily while she glared at this vile woman, but she didn’t have anything to say. She was frozen in place, envisioning her husband’s spellflame consuming children. Children. “You should have seen the look on his face when he was deep frying his nephew. When he watched his brother flail slowly die by his flames. This wasn’t about revenge, or the need to protect you… he enjoyed it. He was smiling the entire time.”

“I can’t…!” Tyrasam covered her mouth, but the Necromancer continued.

“I’m a bitch, I’ll admit it. I got a thrill from killing people even before I became undead… and a few months ago I wasn’t above killing kids… but for him to do what he did to his own family? That’s a whole new level of fucked.” Istrys paused while she let the Paladin take in her words; if she was going to die tonight, she might as well tell this poor sap the whole truth. “That’s why I left the fel rune alone when I found it. Someone wanted him dead, and quite frankly, the world is better off without him.”

“He wasn’t a good man…” Tyrasam started while she dropped her gaze to the floor. “But he was all I had…��

“Well, what you had was legit evil.” The Necromancer leaned back to rest her head against the cold stone wall. “Be honest… if you knew a man who was capable of something like that… would you want him around? Would you want him around your little girl? Would you stop someone else from killing him?”

“I…” She stuttered, nervously running a hand through her hair. “I don’t know how to… how to answer that…”

“You already know the answer to that one, too.” Istrys’ words cut through Tyrasam like a blade. “You seem sweet… but you’re too gullible for your own good. I never got to know you well enough to say you deserve a good man in your life, but everyone deserves better than him.” The Paladin struggled to keep her composure as her tears began rolling down her cheeks. Despite months of supposed healing, against day after day of trying to put him behind her, he still had a firm grip on her body and soul. He would visit in her dreams, wheezing and scowling like he once did; and every time she would wake up in cold sweat. The woman was harsh, but her words rang true. Tyrasam let her husband do some twisted things; it was time to set things right.

“I’m going to have a little chat with High Justicar Arveld.” She sighed while she rubbed her face dry from her tears, causing the Necromancer to slowly lean forward again.

“What for? Trying to get my execution over sooner than later?”

“You’ll have to wait and see.” The Paladin reluctantly released the bars and turned her back to the Necromancer. “I wouldn't give up just yet if I were you.”

Istrys was carried by her two guards, too weak to even lift her feet to stop them from dragging along the floor. She could barely keep her eyes open by this point, struggling to lift her head up while they set her in her podium. Rethandus watched her in a scornful silence as he wondered how he would rescue her from this nightmare in one piece.

“Thank you all for your patience and understanding.” High Justicar Arveld started while he stared down at the Necromancer. “As you are all aware, the Undead are a blight to this world, an unholy creation with the sole purpose of destroying and converting all life. They are a pestilence, who walk a very thin line of tolerance and usefulness. That is why we must punish any creature who strays from the path.”

Whitstan grit his teeth as he listen to the pompous and self-righteous preaching condemning his own kind.

“This isn't right.” Rethandus thought to himself. “They are going to butcher her and there isn't a damned thing I can do about it!”

“Esmeralda Autumnstone. I find you guilty of conspiring against High Justicar Sun’rael with Councilor Kash’kaar, and the attempted coup that ended the lives of over a hundred in our order. I find you guilty of invoking madness in Councilor Kash’kaar with fel poison, and subsequently his murder after his attempt on High Justicar Sun’rael’s life. I find you guilty for the destruction of Zaldrannar: the Black Judge, and the terrible danger you put all of the citizens of Quel’Thalas and the rest of the Eastern Kingdoms. There can be no greater treachery than your heinous crimes… and for that, your punishment is death!”

“This is outrageous!” Rethandus blurted out, catching the attention of the nearby guards. “Whitstan already admitted to killing Zerethel yet you found her guilty anyway?!”

“Another word and you will be joining her!”

Whitstan himself instinctively reached to grab at his blade to no avail, he was disarmed in this enclave of the Light. He breathed out a deep sigh as he contemplated his options. He wasn’t about to give his life for Istrys but this disregard for justice made what left of his blood boil.

“This is not justice! This is not how you Paladins are supposed to conduct yourselves!” Rethandus no longer cared about the High Justicar’s threats, raising one of his boots to slam on the back of the bench before him. “The Light is supposed to help people! The Light is supposed to-!”

“Enough, Rethandus.” Tyrasam called out, catching him mid-sentence. “She’s not going to be executed today.”

“Hmph…” High Justicar Arveld stroked his long wiry beard for several long moments, apparently conflicted with his own thoughts. “Lady Ku’sol is right. Ms. Autumnstone is sentenced to die, but not today.”

“What?! But her verdict is guilty!” The Draenei woman screeched, rising up from her seat; what appeared to be what was left of her family rose along with her. “She needs to die for what she did!”

“Indeed she does.” The old man slouched in his chair while he pinched the bridge of his nose. “But a High Justicar’s word is his very oath. High Justicar Sun’rael pardoned her of her crimes, and as long as his breath remains his bond, she… cannot be executed.” The crowd quickly became unhinged at his unorthodox announcement, causing many guards to move in to stop them from killing Istrys herself. Rethandus stared wide-eyed at Tyrasam, who noticed his glance, but didn’t acknowledge it. Eventually High Justicar raised his hand, no longer even holding his gavel. “But know this: if Alucieus Sun’rael dies, whether it be on that death bed in Dalaran or surrounded by enemies in a future battlefield, his word will no longer protect you.” He waved his hand dismissively while he turned away, clearly too exhausted from all of this madness today. “Reclaim your criminal and get out of my sight.”

Rethandus didn’t waste any time getting to her the moment the guards lowered their weapons to let him pass. The Harbinger ripped through the chains keeping her locked in the podium with relative ease. Istrys said nothing while she was quickly turned around and heaved over one of his shoulders. “We’re getting out of here before he changes his mind.” Rethandus whispered to her, unsure if she could even hear him. The woman said nothing while her arms and legs swayed limp and freely while he hurried to free her of this terrible place, and her unresponsive silence only hastened his steps.

Whitstan glanced at the two, still remaining vigilant at Kaevia’s side. “Good for them.” he commented, his eyes wandering to the bloodthirsty mob, wondering how many of them simply wished to see his kind burn for countless other reasons or buried feelings. He couldn’t help but shift his gaze to see how far along they had gotten. He spoke out to the Priestess, “Justice wasn’t done here today however you cut it. We’ll see it met and done when it all settles.”

Rethandus continued to walk until he could no longer feel the Holy Light seeping out of the ground beneath his feet. Gently he set her down against a nearby tree, fearing the worst. “Istrys…? Open your eyes… Istrys?!” The Harbinger reached down to rudely smack her face, desperate for a response. “Don’t you die on me! Istrys!”

“Uuugh…” She weakly mumbled, sheepishly pushing his hand away. “What… happened? Everything went black for a really… l-long time…” The Necromancer hesitated to open her eyes, glancing around to find herself in the now lush forest of the once infamous Plaguelands.

“High Justicar Arveld sentenced you to death. But he will only carry out your sentence should Alucieus die prematurely.” Rethandus sounded relieved, clearly not caring about the potential grass stain he was begging for on his right pant knee.

“How long has he been in his coma again…? Three… four months…?”

“Seven.” Rethandus answered, clenching his jaw.

“Fuck… then I’ve got some preparations to take care of before they find me aga-” Istrys’ sentence was cut short the moment they both heard footsteps, causing Rethandus to rise to his feet and face whoever approached them.

“Tyrasam…?” The Harbinger called out, catching her attention. “Did you know this would happen? That Arveld would let her go on a technicality?”

“High Justicar Arveld, and yes.” The Paladin softly answered, peering down at the nearly-paralyzed Necromancer. “Like I said to you before, Istrys: I wouldn't give up so easily if I were you.”

“There's something I need to tell you Tyrasam.” Rethandus reluctantly spoke while he approached her. “It's about the details of that so-called trial.”

“You don't have to tell me.” She insisted, taking a small step back. “You have your secrets and I have mine.”

“I'm responsible for your husband killing the rest of his family.” His deep voice pierced her like a spear, causing her to freeze in place. “I caught wind of what Zerethel was planning for Zaldrannar, but I couldn’t approach anyone who could stop him without any solid proof. I discovered a bounty on his head, and yours, and forged it to make him believe his father created it himself. My hope was for him to confront the family he left behind and die by their hands. I underestimated his resolve.”

“Why are you telling me this…!?” Tyrasam squeaked, causing the Harbinger to pause. “How could you do this?!”

“He was going to slaughter every living being aboard that black citadel, Tyrasam. If you knew the things he did in the Bloodsworn Vanguard… the things I helped him do… you would understand.” Rethandus watched the trembling woman carefully, but he knew he couldn’t simply leave it at that. “When I heard Aethos was dead, I rushed to his estate as fast as I could. There I found a pile of charred corpses- your sister-in-law and nephew. I held their broken bodies in my arms, and all I could imagine was Jaeras and you sharing a similar fate. I couldn’t let their deaths be in vain, and I certainly couldn’t let Zerethel harm you two. So during his rampage to finish the rest of his extended family off, I placed a fel rune in his office in hopes of it killing him in his sleep. Once again, I underestimated his fading strength…”

“That sickness was your doing…?!” Tyrasam cried out, forsaking her composure. “When I turned to you for help, you knew exactly what was happening to him?!”

“Yes.” Rethandus answered coldly, causing her to stumble backwards a bit. “My plan was to get you and Jaeras to safety before he finally snapped, but… you insisted on staying by his side.” Rethandus reluctantly broke his stare with the woman, glancing down to stare at his pale frozen hand. “I’m sorry it had to be this way, Tyrasam, and I wish I told you this sooner… but I did what I did because your husband was going to cross a line that could have ended your life. Hate me if you want… but I don’t regret Zerethel’s downfall.”

“I… I don’t…” The Paladin stuttered, grasping at her hands.

“You don’t have to say anything.” Rethandus took one last step forward before bowing. “Try to get some rest tonight. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through this year.” Tyrasam said nothing while she watched him turn his back on her and pluck Istrys out of the grass. For the longest time her words were resting on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t summon the strength to speak them. Eventually she collapsed to her hands and knees once they were out of sight, forced to reopen formally closed wounds once again.

“You really think that was a good idea?” Istrys whispered in his ear, able to speak clearly now that the Holy Light’s influence was gone, but otherwise still too exhausted to walk herself. “That might come back to bite you in the ass.”

“Honesty was a virtue I once held to a higher standard.” Rethandus huffed, keeping his gaze on the path ahead. “If she tells Kaevia, I’ll explain myself. If Alucieus learns of this, I might be in more than a little trouble. But…” the Harbinger paused while he was temporarily lost in thought. “I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.”

“You better be more careful, Andy.” The Necromancer warned. “You keep up with this honesty bullshit and you'll end up with more enemies than you can handle.”

“We’re undead,” Rethandus sighed, taking notice of a wounded doe and her two fawns. The mother was stuck in a bear trap, and her children were seemingly too terrified to leave her side; the perfect opportunity to get Istrys back on her feet. “Disappointing the living and in turn making them hate us is all par for the course.”

Collabudddies: @Istrys @k-sunrael @whitstanwilhelm

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cyjprojectarchive · 7 years

Text

careless | yugyeom

prompt: inspired by their song don’t care from their album, flight log: arrival group: GOT7 pairing: kim yugyeom, you genre: angst, hurt words: 2070 note: this is my fave song from the new album (like legit it’s on repeat for daysss now) holy crap moly gyeomie writes hella good songs no jam was MY JAM in the previous album okbye on to the imagine

Ijen eojjeol suga eopseo nan deo deo (I can’t help it anymore now, shall I go further?) Mam ganeun daero man ganeun daero deo gallae (with what my heart wants, what my heart wants.)

The resounding volume of a random K-pop song engulfs the whole room in figurative ecstasy. It creates a domino effect as each person present begins to dance to the same type of moves as the electronic beat vibrates continuously from the walls to their heart beats. You listen closely and realize it’s none other than Big Bang’s Bang Bang Bang booming out of the huge stereos stacked up on the platform. Knowing from the amount of shots you’ve taken in the past couple of hours, you would have stepped right into the center of the nonexistent dance floor and showed all these K-pop idols who really possesses the talent.

But you didn’t want to risk embarrassing your ass off in front of most well-known pop artists in the industry. Besides, you didn’t want the person who invited you here to be the topic of conversations a few days after this party; just because their plus one was a total wreck and didn’t know how to handle herself.

Yes, you are going to act civil and sober. Key word: act.

Even if you have finished the round of drinks the waiter is just about to serve to guests other than you. Even if you told yourself you’d behave this time and not let out your frustrations through the process of intoxication. Even if you despised the human who brought you here in the first place after what he’d done.

Accepting his invitation was supposed to be your way of confrontation. What happened is the complete opposite of the original plan; further distract yourself from the problem. From your problem.

“Hey, what’chu doin’ here all by yourself?” A sly, and slightly slurred voice, creeps up behind you. “I think Yugyeomie’s lookin’ for ya for, like, forever,” Bambam drawls, slinging a lazy arm around your bare shoulders. You cringe at the smell of his breath, but you can’t discriminate as you probably smell worse; so you just roll your eyes at his obviously drunken state and gingerly retract his grasp from you.

“I think you’re done for tonight, Bam,” you reprimand him, loud enough for him to hear you over the music. “Don’t you guys have, what, a photo shoot or something tomorrow?”

The silver-haired boy shakes his head too eagerly, resulting a small hiccup escaping his throat in the process. He laughs to himself and waves your question. “Nah, we’re done with that shit for a good while. Didn’t Yugyeom tell you we’re on a slight break? Comeback’s over, management’s preparing all the tour stuff, and we’re just chillin’ like we’re villains,” he answers, ruffling his hair with one hand and resting the other against the table on your right which displayed any and all sorts of appetizers. He seems like he wanted to get one, but he quickly returns his stare at you and asks, “So, did you find Yugyeom yet?”

You seethe quietly. You are already trying your hardest to lose the man in question, and you have done well, so far, until his best friend found you all alone in a party, where only seven out of the fifty guests actually know you, so bite him for being concerned about your introverted attitude tonight.

Sighing, you tell him that no, you lost Yugyeom in the crowd and you’ve been by yourself for some time now. No point in lying because this kid was going to find out, anyway.

“Well, last time I saw him was outside by the pool, tryin’ to look around for ya, so you better go before he finds someone else!” Bam recites with a loud laugh at the end, attempting to slap you jokingly on your shoulder but hitting air instead.

You don’t know whether to be amused or concerned about him right now. You haven’t really seen him in this state before; it’s been a while since you’ve hung out with Bambam, or any of the other members at all.

This is the first time you’ve actually seen him since he turned 20, so it feels a bit unnerving to witness the boy who defied puberty probably as drunk as you are right now. Unluckily for him, he doesn’t know how to hold his liquor down very well… yet.

You think about it for a split second, realizing that you’ve already accumulated a strong tolerance to alcohol at your age- a young age at that. Huh.

“Bambam, there you are!” You are waiting for your heart to drop to your feet by the sound of that voice, but thankfully, it was only Mark who came up towards you and the wobbling idol in front of you. The oldest hyung looks distinctly sober than the both of you, and you start to feel embarrassed by your appearance.

“I’ll take him outta your hands,” Mark chuckles as he pushes Bambam away from you. The maknae only waves goodbye as Mark shoots you an apologetic look. You are about to smile in return until he adds, “Oh, by the way, have you seen Yugyeom yet?”

You, instead, fake the smile and mutter, “No, but I’m going to right now. Thanks.” You make it your mission not to stumble across any more GOT7 members because you have a certain inkling that they’re going to ask the same damned question.

I mean, they’re not wrong to ask you. Yugyeom is not the type of person to just abandon someone out of thin air like that. You, of all people, should know this.

Or don’t you?

And besides, you were the one who left.

The chlorinated pool water glistens with the illumination of the night sky. Not a lot of people were hanging around here because a) it’s cold and uncomfortable and b) it’s warm and fun inside clubhouse, anyway. Your eyes immediately focus on the figure standing at the corner, hands kept inside the pockets of his black jeans. Even if he was facing away, you’d recognize those long legs, strong back, hard shoulders and the thick black head full of hair anywhere.

And you hate yourself for it.

But you exhale a loud breathe, letting the effects of vodka and whiskey and whatever else you had your lips on a while ago take over you as you trudge your way towards him.

He shifts his weight into one leg and you halt, following his eyes. His head is turned sideways, looking down on the water. The sharp curvature of his nose always makes you swoon inside, and you never once mentioned how attractive he looked like that. You never wanted to, and now you think you’re never going to anymore.

“Bam and Mark think we’re playing hide and seek with each other,” you mumble. He doesn’t seem to be startled by your presence, and that kind of got to your nerves. Was he expecting that you would come find him?

Maybe this is a bad idea after all.

“I told them not to mind it, and that you were just not feeling well so you had to go somewhere and take a breather,” he informs you with a small voice, still not looking up.

You raise an eyebrow. “You dare have the audacity to dictate my condition?” You exclaim, feeling the heat rise up to your cheeks. Your mind thought it is okay to let off the steam right now as everyone else is too busy inside partying. It’s going to take a huge toll on you if you keep bottled feelings in tonight.

And you’re sick of keeping everything in.

Yugyeom finally turns his head to face you and you immediately feel a pang in your chest. Lips sealed shut, he furrows his eyebrows and blinks hard. Remnants of tears are evident on his damp cheeks and you almost feel sorry; you almost regret ever being angry.

“You’re the one who walked away.”

“You’re the one who walked away first,” you interject, spitting the last word with full emphasis. You try not to imitate his teary-eyed expressions because you want him to see you handling this maturely. You want to prove to him that you’re stronger now.

“What- what do you mean by that?!” He is practically shouting, hands up in the air and down to his hair out of frustration. The tears begin to escape in short drops, but he sniffles them away.

“I waited for you, Kim Yugyeom.” Here it is, the speech you’ve prepared in your mind for god knows how long now. You had doubts you’d ever be able to say it to his face, but this night turned out to be the night an ultimatum is needed.

Regarding yours and Yugyeom’s “relationship.”

“I waited for you,” you repeat, not letting go of his stare, “there was no promise of us staying as best friends after your whole idol thing blew up, sure, but I thought our friendship was stronger than that so we didn’t need to say it out loud.”

Memories of your prepubescent years flash through your mind in a whirlwind, all of them containing Yugyeom. The happiest years of your life was shared entirely with him. From childhood banters to high school drama, he was the one person who stood by you, and you to him.

“Yes, we still talked, and yes some changes had to be done. I’m not dumb to not know how things won’t be exactly the same between us, but at least show some effort into trying to keep it alive,” you cry out, the constricting feeling in your chest never leaving.

After their debut, things between you were still pretty okay. They weren’t as busy, and he still initiated late night phone calls and short but worthwhile meet ups with you. During those moment, you didn’t feel him disappearing because he always came back to you.

But once they got more famous, especially internationally, you rarely see him in person. Although his face is plastered on a screen almost every time you look, it’s someone else’s phone, or a TV. His connection to the world may have only been beginning, but your spark was already spiraling down to dust.

“That’s not true and you know it,” he interrupts, staring at you with narrowed eyes and falling tears. “You didn’t give me a chance once you assumed all those lies about me. You were the one who didn’t want to deal with the complications.”

“Oh, really? Was it you who asked me to be their at one of your concerts?” You question harshly. Suddenly, his tears come to a stop and his anger drops dead.

Got him.

“Was it you who invited to me backstage after your fan meets? Was it you who offered me a ticket to travel to Japan and be with you for a few days on tour? Was it you, Yugyeom, who had the guts to ask me all those things? No! You had Bambam to do the heavy work for you of trying to keep our friendship intact.” You didn’t give him a chance to retaliate so you keep going. “I’m surprised you’re the one who asked me to be here tonight, too. After all those times you’ve been a coward -”

“I’m not a coward,” he protests under his breath before grabbing your waist and clashing his lips on yours- for the second time today. He didn’t flinch to the taste of alcohol in your tongue, rather, he pulls you closer, desperate for you to kiss him back. Tell him you’re not mad. Tell him you’re both okay.

You close your eyes to cage the salty tears from sliding down your cheeks. Your hands immediately find his chest and you push him forcefully. He quickly regains his balance, and you bury your face in your hands, not wanting to look at him.

“You think you ignoring me all these years, being distant to me when we do have the chance to be together, and finally having the balls to show me what you’ve allegedly been hiding all this time would fix all the damage that has been done,” you choke, your voice muffled by the curves of your palms, “by kissing me, twice, tonight?” You inhale a breath before gazing at the pale skinned boy you once loved before you. You wipe your mouth harshly and gulp.

Tear streaked face to tears streaming down his face, you shake your head.

“You’re wrong.”

You walk away. Maybe for the last time.

#got7maknaelinenet #kreativewritersnet #got7 imagines #kim yugyeom imagines #got7 scenarios #kim yugyeom scenarios #emjae fics

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showingthroughtome · 7 years

Text

spit fire - chapter seventeen

but i will if i need to cause for real, girl, i need you

“A little. Not really.” He changes his answer quickly but then moves on. “What are you doing with Shawn?”

“What?” Once again, Noa is caught off guard.

“I saw you with him tonight. What the fuck is that about?”

Noa begins a slow pace down the hallway as she hears the words leave his mouth, anger flowing through her. “Where do you get off asking me about who I chose to spend my time with?”

Harry scoffs and gives a tiny chuckle. “Shawn is a dickhead.”

“You’re one to talk.” Noa copies his cocky tone, trying to hide just how mad he manages to make her.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

read below - or on 1dff (when the site is back!) - story page

Friends is an easier concept than one might assume when it comes to your ex-something. Granted, Noa has only been trying for a few days, but so far, her and Shawn went to that old sports bar twice and have had an okay time, not touching each other once. Now, when they go and he pays more attention to the TV or his friends that stop by, Noa can focus on the slightly funny commentary he makes or the fucking odd interactions he has with fellow football players.

She doesn’t even know why they’ve been hanging out at all really. She just knows that he’ll send her a text occasionally and she doesn’t have anything else to do so why not? She loves to eat and she loves to get out of her dorm room. Double win for Noa.

It’s the night before the last day of the semester when she goes out with Shawn again, but this time Farrah comes along so she can see “how legit this friendship actually is”. Apparently, it’s hard for the girls to believe or even understand why Noa would spend time with the dickhead. Which, to be quite honest, it’s hard for Noa to grasp as well.

She’s sitting in the front seat, with Farrah crammed in the back making easy conversation with Shawn. Noa isn’t paying attention at all - they could ask her the last word that came out of either of their mouths and she’d have no clue. She’s too busy looking out the window, watching the business lights in the small-town glow quietly in the night. The car is all warm and toasty so it only makes the town seem colder through the window with its slightly grey tint.

The lights come into focus as Shawn slows to a stop at a red light and Noa’s attention almost comes back to the car before her eyes land on the bus stop right outside her window. On the bench, wearing the thinnest winter coat and looking skinnier than the last time she saw her, is Noa’s mom. Noa almost must do a double take at the sight of her, her being nearly unrecognizable due to the change drugs can have on a person after extended periods of time. Growing up, her mom would fluctuate in and out of a healthy weight. Sarah would have beautiful long hair for months and then slowly, it would begin to dry, tangle, and fall.

From what Noa can tell, her hair is fine, but her cheeks are sunken in deeper than she’s seen in a while. It causes her stomach to curdle and the overwhelming urge to puke to emerge. Shawn is pulling away before she has time to figure out if she should jump out of the car to see if she’s okay or if her mom is just on that annual path to self-destruction before she experiences a month or two of sobriety.

“Whoa, Noa. Was that your mom?” Farrah grabs both sides of Noa’s seat and pulls herself up so she can make eye contact, worry riddling her voice.

Noa swallows the lump in her throat and nods, “Yeah, I think so.”

“How is she doing?” Shawn has no clue of anything that’s been going on - he hardly ever did. All he knew when they were together (for lack of a better word) was that her mom had some issues and it caused Noa stress. He, along with all but three people, are oblivious to how deep the hole Sarah Cherry is in goes.

“I’m not sure.” She breathes and tries to calm her anxieties over it as she admits, “I haven’t talked to her in a couple months.”

“What? Why?”

“Usual Sarah stuff.” Noa, no matter how much her and Shawn become friends, won’t choice to share the details of that night with him.

Generic answers are good enough for him though, so at another stop sign, he turns to her and asks without much emotion at all, “Do I need to turn around?”

“No. She’s fine.” Noa is certain of it somewhere in the back of her mind. When Sarah gets really bad, she won’t leave the house. She’ll have dealers come to their trailer and sell to her there. She’ll stop making attempts at all and spiral until she is pulled out of it by Noa. In a weird way, knowing the progression of her mom’s addiction calms her. Out loud, she reassures herself, “If she’s out at the bus stop, she’s fine.”

Shawn nods as he continues to drive and silence falls over the car while Noa stays stuck in her head, trying to shake her mother’s cheekbones from her brain.

Farrah is the first one to talk again while Shawn is turning into the parking lot. “What games on that’s so important?”

The reason Shawn texted Noa earlier in the day was because he wanted to invite her to an event at the bar they frequent. She said yes but then when her and Farrah were taking too long to get ready, a stream of hurry up texts were sent. Followed by texts that emphasized how serious it was that they get there on time.

“It’s a UFC fight.” Shawn finds a parking spot right by the door. “It’s gonna be sick.”

“Ew. What the fuck?” Noa snaps back to the moment at the mention of watching a fight.

From the backseat, Farrah has a similar but very different reaction. “Yeah, I’m not down with that shit either.”

“It’ll be fun. The bar is hosting the SU athletic department so it’ll be all of us.”

“Oh, it’s that thing?” Farrah got out of the car following Shawn and Noa. “I distinctly remember not wanting to go to this.”

Shawn rolls his eyes at Farrah and elbows Noa. “I bet your boyfriend will be here.”

“Not her boyfriend.” Farrah pipes in before Noa could say those exact words.

“We already talked about this.” Noa side eyes Shawn and falls behind him as he begins the short walk through the doors and out of the cold. “But yeah, probably.”

Noa can’t think of a reason why Harry wouldn’t be spending his Thursday night at a bar with his basketball friends, except for maybe if he was with her. Back when they were hanging out, they rarely even acknowledged other people’s existence after around 6 in the evening.

As they walk into the bar, it’s as crowded as Noa has ever seen it - people standing up at high tops, the bar full, booths taken. Luckily, Shawn has friends already there so when the three of them get to that booth, he finds Farrah a spare chair and they all have somewhere to sit. The bartender takes a while to get to them so mindlessly, Shawn converses with his friends while Farrah and Noa search the menu for something good and meatless. Noa decides on a veggie and hummus platter but Farrah insists on a chicken wrap.

Noa takes the extra time that she’s waiting to order and surveys the bar - looking for a particular boy and seeing if he has a particular brunette with him. Easily enough, she finds him with basketball players she doesn’t know the name of and then Max. They’re all laughing and joking about something but Harry is turned mostly away from her so she can’t tell if he is too. He’s got a beer in his hand though, somehow getting one at the age of 19.

She feels herself staring at him and she feels Farrah watching her stare at him so she should realize her gaze is heavy - strong enough for him to feel. But she doesn’t and seconds later, he’s turning right towards her, finding her in a corner booth with Shawn and Farrah and other random guys.

He was smiling before he caught sight of her but an unmistakable falter takes place and his dimples disappear. His eyes flint away and he goes back to his friends, swallowing the rest of the contents of his glass in one go and waving the bartender over.

Noa has to stop after that. She can’t spend all night noting his every move from afar. She’s got to move on from him. She’s got to pretend that she didn’t just watch his whole mood change when he saw her with Shawn. To her, that shift was his dumb jealousy and not anything else. To her, Harry isn’t sad or hurt or upset by Shawn. Because if he’s not, then maybe she’ll stop being all those things too.

Eventually, they do order and eat and drink (a little) and watch the fight - Noa doing it behind a fence of fingers because violence just isn’t her thing. In all that time, she only lets her eyes peruse the bar once and when she doesn’t find a single soul of interest, a weight almost lifts itself from her chest.

—

The buzzing is relentless. It’s like a dozen bees in the distance - close enough so it’s annoying but not far enough away to be ignored. And once it starts, it doesn’t stop. Normally, when her phone rings in the middle of the night, Noa will roll over and ignore it. This time, she can’t. Whoever is calling has a purpose and won’t give up on it until it’s fulfilled.

With closed eyes, she feels for her phone on the table beside her bed. It takes a few tries but her hand eventually finds it and in one swift motion, unplugs it from the charger. She barely cracks her eyes open to see a picture of curly hair and green eyes. Sitting up, the screen goes black only to light up moments later with another call.

Her thumb hovers until her brain realizes he must need something, causing her thumb to slide the green phone across the bottom of the screen. She holds her phone up to her ear and waits.

“Noa?” Harry’s voice shakes in question, almost sounding genuinely unsure if she answered the phone. She hasn’t heard him say it in a while and she is still closer to asleep then awake, so a long pause is only natural. “Noa.” It’s a demand this time for her to say something.

She rubs her eyes, adjusting them to the darkness to see Bethlyn asleep in the bed across from hers. Noa slides out from the warm covers and into the hallway, all while listening to a quiet hum of someone waiting on the other end of the phone line. Once outside of her room, she mumbles under her breath. “Yeah?”

“Did I wake you?”

“Uhh,” Noa pulls her phone away from her ear to check the time and responds in a clipped tone. “It’s 2:48, Harry. Of course you did.”

“I don’t know. Sometimes you’re up really late for no reason.” The pity he feels for himself is almost tangible by the way he isn’t quite whining but is talking in a minuscule voice.

Noa doesn’t play into it, she never would. Instead, she sighs, “What do you need?”

“I don’t need anything.” His response grows in volume and offense. Noa knows it’s a lie - you don’t call someone at 3am if there isn’t a reason and whatever that reason is, Noa wants to get it over with. Maybe just a minute or maybe a few pass before Harry states urgently, “I need to talk to you so fucking bad, Noa.”

A slur falls over the sentence that Noa hadn’t caught before but catches when he sounds so desperate. “Are you drunk?”

“A little. Not really.” He changes his answer quickly but then moves on. “What are you doing with Shawn?”

“What?” Once again, Noa is caught off guard.

“I saw you with him tonight. What the fuck is that about?”

Noa begins a slow pace down the hallway as she hears the words leave his mouth, anger flowing through her. “Where do you get off asking me about who I chose to spend my time with?”

Harry scoffs and gives a tiny chuckle. “Shawn is a dickhead.”

“You’re one to talk.” Noa copies his cocky tone, trying to hide just how mad he manages to make her.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Noa is the one laughing this time, satisfied that it got under his skin that quickly. Then, crosses one of her arms and defends her new friend. “You don’t know him. How can you pass judgment?”

“Because you told me enough about him to know that you shouldn’t even fucking talk to him. He never ever respected you.” His voice is growing louder on the other end and it’s clear to Noa that Harry is in fact drunk. Emotion is fueling his words and it’s making the smile she is covering her anger with to fall as that anger shifts to a different feeling in her chest - a feeling she can’t place.

She bites her bottom lip as she recalls the last time they talked about Shawn. “He’s not so bad. He’s goofy, remember?”

“Noa.” His voice is back to that pleading shit, getting Noa’s eyes to roll. She feels certain words at the tip of her tongue - words that’ll breech a subject they’ve both avoided - and she considers keeping them hidden but he’s called her this late and he’s brought up Shawn to her and to be honest, she just can’t hold them any longer. She physically can’t.

“I told you a lot about Nina too.” Immediately, and for reasons she can only blame on fatigue, her eyes brim with tears as she surges through in a rush, keeping her voice even. “How much I didn’t like her because she treated me like shit. How she made sure to give me hell at any and every opportunity. How awful she was to me because she looked down on where I came from, how I spent my time, how I had to work to help out my sick mother.” Noa feels her voice shake so she has to stop it even though she could keep going.

Harry can’t even argue while he lets out a simple, “Yeah…”

“But that didn’t stop you from talking to her. And kissing her. And being her friend.” Wiping a tear that slipped away from her, Noa clenches her jaw.

“Fuck her. I don’t give a damn about her.” He throws away everything she said - something Noa can’t do now that it’s out there.

“You hang out with her all the time.”

“Because you left me. You don’t look at me anymore, Noa.” He’s angry and hurt all in one. Noa can imagine the sad eyes he’d be looking at her with if they were face to face. “Do you know how that feels? Do you know how shitty it feels to be nothing to you after everything?”

“Oh, shut the fuck up.” She can’t stand the pity anymore. She may not be the victim exactly but Harry certainly isn’t. “You did this, okay? You kissed Nina, Harry. I can’t close my eyes without that image haunting me. I think about it almost all the time. It won’t leave me.” Her hands are shaking by the time she gets to the steps and walks halfway up them so if her voice gets any louder, her fellow residents won’t be able to hear her.

“Please?” He begs but Noa doesn’t know what he’s asking for exactly.

“You know nothing about feeling shitty, alright?”

“I fucked up so bad.” Harry states the obvious with regret in every word. “I ruined everything.”

“Yeah.” There’s is no use in her saying anything else, no use in her disagreeing with the truth of the situation.

But that one word sends Harry on a spiral.

“I’m sorry, baby.” He is the one shaking this time, and surprisingly losing his slur as he almost sounds completely convicted. “I’m so sorry. I was angry and stupid and she was there and I guess I did it as a way to prove that I wasn’t consumed by you. I was trying to make her my Shawn, I think.”

And that surge of anger - the one Noa knows all too well - returns. Because she gets what Harry was trying to say. She hates herself for it and even if she doesn’t want to, she does. Although, he’s wrong. Shawn is and always will be way less to her than Harry assumes - as he makes up in his mind.

“Shawn is my friend.” She grits her teeth as she lets her emotions run through her and come out in clenched fists and stomping feet.

“You say that but a part of me won’t accept it. It eats away at me and I convince myself you’re in love with him.”

Harry is so backwards to her. He calls her to tell her that she shouldn’t be with Shawn because of all the shitty things he did to her but then has it in his mind that she loves him? How could he ever think that? Does Harry even know Noa at all - the way she hoped he had?

“But that’s wrong and I see that now.” Harry says like it’s no big deal, like if he hadn’t realized that weeks ago her chest wouldn’t be knotting millions of times over.

Her clenched fist hits the wall in a flash, regret filling her when a tiny pain shoots up her knuckles and embarrassment at the angry action washes over her.

As she rubs her knuckles and turns to make sure no one saw, she sighs, “Wow, Harry. Now you realize that? After all this dumb shit?”

“Yeah. It sucks but it took a while. And I’m so sorry. I’ve never regretted anything more than kissing Nina.” Noa can’t deny that every word sounds truthful coming out of his mouth and that somehow, she knows he means them. Maybe Harry didn’t know her as well as she thought, but she likes to think she knows him. And if that’s true at all then Harry is sorry. It plain as day as he continues, “If you’ll just give me another chance, I’ll prove how much I deserve it.”

Still, she rolls her eyes. “Another chance at what? Casual fucking?”

“No.” He quips back quickly, almost offended. “Sex with conversations but more. I want you completely. Facebook official type shit.”

She chuckles at that idea and shakes her head, “Harry.”

“I want to be your boyfriend.” While she is still smiling at the previous ludicrous idea, he spouts out a word she rarely hears or thinks about but that he says so seriously.

“Whatever.” She bites her lip, not letting her mind go there.

“I do! I want to spend our nights and days together. I want to get food for you when you’re hungry and too busy to do it yourself. I want to start TV shows together and get mad at you when you watch episodes without me and then spoil the plot.” He pauses his speech to laugh lightly, causing a vision of his stupidly charming dimples to appear in Noa’s mind - a clear memory of him smiling at her from across his shoebox apartment so easy to recall. “I want to hold your hand whenever and not wonder if you think it’s crossing a line. I want to kiss you on the cheek without you thinking I’m pushing our arrangement. I don’t want to worry if I seem like I’m too eager and wanting too much of you because, Noa, you’re all I want.”

All lightness that entered their conversation for fleeting seconds dissipates as they both come to the realization just how real he is being. He is saying things she should want to hear, things she thinks she may have had dreams about. And even though it does make her heart flutter at first, soon it shifts to fear and all she can think about is the pain she felt when she had Harry slip away from her.

“Harry.” She repeats again, feeling her chest open a little wider at how vulnerable she wants to be but knows she can’t be.

“Do you want to be my girlfriend, Grape?”

Again, tears brim. And she lies, “No.”

He lets an audible pause leaves his lips - perhaps a gasp even. “Why not?”

“We’re not right for each other.” She convinces herself out loud.

“Bullshit. You know that’s a lie.”

“Not right now, we’re not.” She may want to be his girlfriend - after everything, she still wants to just burrow herself into him in his warm bed and pretend no one exists outside of those blankets. Though, she knows what she wants isn’t what is always good for her. “We’re not mature enough or something. I don’t know how to be a girlfriend and you don’t know how to be a boyfriend. As soon as we got close, we both screwed up and hurt each other.”

“No.” He says sternly. “Just because it didn’t go smoothly doesn’t mean we can’t make it work.”

“Harry… I care for you so much.” It’s as close as she can get to admitting the truth - the ugly truth she won’t even say to herself.

“Baby.” Harry whispers, pleading at the same time she continues.

“But no.” She decides and hopes he accepts easily. “I can’t be with you and you can’t be with me.”

“That’s not fair. Why do you just get to decide and that’s that? How come because you think we won’t work, we can’t give it a try?”

“Because if I’m not in it 100%, it won’t.”

“Then be in it! I promise, Noa. I promise I’ll be the best boyfriend.” She can basically hear him getting down on his knees and begging, breaking her heart that much more.

“I - I…” Wishing things were different, she stumbles over the one defining sentiment of the conversation. “I just can’t.”

Noa assumes he hangs up due to the silence, then lighter - less self-pitying - he wonders, “I am sorry, you know that right?”

“I do. I really do.” Not knowing how, she does. She paces the area and knows finally that Harry is so full of regret for what he did.

“I’ll see you around then?”

Winter break is tomorrow; she’s got to find somewhere to stay while the dorms close and he is surely going home for the holidays. She bitterly smiles, “See you next semester.”

“Have a good break.”

“You too, Harry. Send your mom my worst.”

Harry breaks out into his crazy melodic laugh, something Noa has to join in on on principle. It dies off slowly but when it’s finally all gone, he almost sighs over the words, “I miss you.”

“Yeah.” She nods, let’s them both feel it for a second, and then, “Goodbye.”

“Bye.” He returns with that slight gruff.

She brings the phone away from her face, watching as it goes dead by his doing but knowing fully that everything could be thriving if she would let them - if her fear would let her.

—

It’s colder that next morning. The state is swept over with clouds, looking like it could rain or snow any minute.

Definitely snow, Noa thinks as she crosses her arms even tighter to keep her body warm. Fucking snow, she curses in her mind, huffing out a breath that is so visible it’s white.

It never has been a long walk back to her family trailer from Springfield University. It’s never felt like one, it’s never worn Noa out, she’s never run out of breath. But today, it feels like a journey. Her lungs are constricting and her arches are starting to hurt in her Nike sneakers.

She isn’t in denial anymore. Her mind isn’t explaining away this change as an actual increase in distance or a loss of fitness on her part. It’s feels longer because her heart is so much heavier while walking it.

Noa didn’t return to sleep after that conversation with Harry. Her mind wouldn’t stop turning over the decision - maybe I am ready, maybe he is ready, he could make me so happy, he does make me so happy, I am in love with him, aren’t I?

Hours and hours of that left her picking every bit of nail polish off her nails and chewing the hell out of bottom lip. Her eyes drifted eventually, but as soon as that happened, her alarm went off and she had to decide where she was going to stay for the six weeks of winter break.

That’s why she is walking home - she has to.

Where else could I possibly stay? I’ve thought of a few places, though those seem like inconveniences for the people. I don’t want to seem like a freeloader or desperate - but yeah, I kind of am at the moment.

All of Springfield looks a bit sad as she walks down the sidewalk. It’s grey and slow and people who live there just for the semester are leaving. Harry is probably already on his flight back to England.

The trailer, as she walks up to it and passes a neighbor she hasn’t seen in a while, throwing him a wave, looks more than sad. It looks like that emotion you feel when you know things can’t be fixed, when you give up and stop trying for something you want so bad just because it hurts too much.

Noa wrings her hands multiple times to warm them, to get them to grab the doorknob that’s now right in front of her. Preparing for whatever she’ll see when the door opens, she takes a deep breath and reaches for it. She starts to turn it but it’s locked, causing her to look through a window that’s mostly covered by a ragged curtain. Through the tiny slit, she manages to see her mother.

On the couch, smoking a cigarette, watching something on the TV and munching on Chex Mix, looking as happy as can be. She didn’t even seem to notice a jiggle on the doorknob.

Noa deflates. Now aware that her mom is as okay as she’s ever been, that panicking anxiety flushes itself from her system. It allows her to step away from the door and reach for her phone.

She never intended on calling Molly and asking to stay with her family for the winter. But she already spent too much time with Farrah over the summer so she has to spread out her bumming.

“Dude, come on.” Molly grunts after Noa went on a 45 second rant about how much she just needs a bed and promises not to be a bother. “We head to Richmond in an hour so make sure to bring everything you need. I’m not driving back to this place until the semester starts so if ya leave a bong or whatever, you’re fucked.”

“What? They don’t sell those in Richmond?”

—

authors note: so the spacing is weird on this, my bad!! but look! i caved and decided to post here so i also decided to do an authors note!! can you believe spit fire only has 3 chapters and an epilogue left?!?!? i personally cant. ill def be doing more with them though - maybe novellas or drabbles or whatever. spit fire may be coming closer to an end but man, noa and harry are gonna have some things to touch on after the final update comes out. if i had enough of a storyline, id even consider a sequel but… nah, not these guys!! please please please let me know what you think!!! i am gonna be all obsessive and check this post a lot because this is one of those chapters that i have been waiting to write since i started this fic. tell me in an ask or message what you thought of harry and noa and what he said and what she said and what happened with her mom and that gosh darn phone convo in general!

i love you all and cant ever express how grateful of every single person who gives my little fic a look!! <3

#i caved #i know i know #but tell me what #you think please please please #1dff #i am nervous to be doing this but i really wanna!#sf chapter

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sigmastolen · 6 years

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some things

i actualfacts just screamed out loud in joy about the trailer for dsc s2 nbd • excellent use of lenny kravitz’s “fly away” (also jeopardy! had a whole category tonight about the music of 1998 (i dominated, natch), it’s almost like they knew although of course “fly away” was not one of the answers) • they definitely seem to be going for an aos-type pike which is... fortunate, because as much as i legitimately enjoy “the cage,” tos!pike himself is not a very appealing character (and also i just like that aos!pike has a more relaxed style of command) • everyone on DISCO’s crew is so cute i like them all so much • but uh you ARE going to give me Number One, the love of my life, in this show, aren’t you, trek? EDIT;; I JUST SAW REBECCA ROMIJN’S POST ON IG AND THANK FUCK ALSO SHE’S GREAT AND I AM EXCITED

i just listened to janelle monáe’s 2009 Fresh Air interview (i opened a bunch of tabs whilst wikiwalking last night, it was a little bit of a spiral okay) and for all that she’s lauded as an interviewer now, terry gross has some embarrassingly tone-deaf moments. i legit cringed.

this morning i was almost late to work because i had to write down a sad kent parson scene (you know, since now we know kent parson’s canon life is sadder than we ever could have imagined) (typing on my phone, before i even dried off from the shower), and it’s definitely Not Something, but i might post it here anyway? idk, show of hands, who would read it? it’s only a couple hundred words but it has enough of a beginning, middle, and end that i don’t want to incubate it and see if it grows.

all day today i felt like hot garbage and i better not be freaking sick, i don’t have the time

#vanitas vanitatum et omnia vanitas #sigma watches trek #sigma watches dsc #i love number one disproportionately to her screentime #music makes the people come together #star trek discovery #omg check please tag #fanfic i want to be better at you #oh shoot i guess maybe #spoilers #wow i just looked at this post on mobile and the formatting is f u c k e d sorry y'all

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thatsmygvn · 7 years

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How do you (try to handle) depression? It's kicking my ass big time

this is kind of a disjointed mess but i saw this in my inbox as i was in bed about to fall asleep and i wanted to answer it tonight and not wait until after class in the morning, but the gist is all here.

first: i’m so sorry to hear yours is acting up, but if it’s serious you need to contact someone. i’m speaking from experience when i say if you let it stew for too long it can have shitty, awful consequences. even -- especially -- if you have a history with it. you may need therapy, you may need medication, you may need to reevaluate your life and cut out what’s causing you so much distress and change what you can’t. depression is as complex and unique as the person it’s decided to throw itself in with.

i’m not the best person to ask about this bc i’ve lived with depression for so long (and in conjunction with anxiety disorders and undiagnosed autism) that it’s just like... an inherent part of my life now. i don’t know what’s me versus the disorder, and i don’t know which disorder flows where and makes me feel how i do. i’m okay at managing everything and keeping it all under control most of the time but it seems like there’s always a few weeks out of every year where nothing i do can keep it down. right now? it’s hard to keep everything down.

but as far as my depression goes, mine is the sort where everything feels monotonous and vague and sort of.... idk, “blah” is kinda the best word. i don’t feel strongly about anything in particular, which isn’t necessarily a BAD thing but if it goes on too long i start dwelling on the negative and that’s when my urges to relapse are higher, i stop eating, i usually start feeling s/uicidal again, and i spiral out of control. that doesn’t happen very often as of late, though, and for the most part my depression is the one where i lose track of time and i get too lethargic and i don’t have the motivation or the care to do really anything.

i usually throw myself into my interests when my depression spikes up, though. if it’s something that i can look forward to, i tend to base my entire schedule around it. usually it’s tv shows, so like: if i get through class on monday, i can go home and watch the new episode of shadowhunters. on tuesdays, i can come home and watch agents of shield and face off. if i get through work on saturdays, then sunday night is the walking dead. throughout the week i have different things to look forward to, be it tv shows or movies or youtubers who upload on a schedule, or writers that update on a schedule, or just having a pet that you have to feed and walk on a tight schedule. it keeps me motivated by things i’m genuinely interested in to get through what i am not interested in (read: school, work) (especially useful when my depression starts spiraling) and it also works to keep me on a schedule since i’m prone to lose track of the days on a good day, let alone when i’m depressed.

i also try to write everything down. everything. i have an awful memory on a good day, but when my depression flares up it goes from bad to worse and it doesn’t help that i do lose track of time. alarms, reminders, notes, friends who understand and are willing to text me to remind me of things like “make sure you drank water today” or “have you eaten anything yet” -- like literally all of it is useful and beneficial and it seems silly, i guess, but it makes a difference.

if it’s a sluggish, lethargic sort of depression day where i just find difficult to make myself get up and get out of bed, i force myself up and at least brush my teeth. because of my history i have a tendency to think myself into feeling awful, so now when my depression flares up i have issues telling whether i actually feel sick or if it’s my head playing tricks on me. once i’m standing up and out of bed and i’ve brushed my teeth my head is usually clear enough that i can accurately judge whether i legit feel like shit or if it was just mindgames.

but when i start to spiral, i force myself to do a few things: drink a full glass of water, eat something (a granola bar, a slice of toast with peanut butter on it, an egg sandwich, whatever), shower, brush my teeth, brush my hair, and put on a fresh clean pair of pajamas. if i can get myself to do it, i also try to wash my sheets, blankets, and pillowcases and i drown them in fabric softener so they smell good. then i crawl back in bed with my favorite movie on in the background and i try for a good cry. i forget the basic things like taking care of myself when i spiral. i try to stay away from coffee because i drink way too much of it especially when i don’t eat and all it serves, usually, is to make my anxiety that much worse when i’m already on edge bc of the depression.

i don’t take any medication for my depression anymore, and i do have a psychologist that i talk to when things get particularly bad, but like i said: i’ve lived with depression since i was in elementary school. i know the ropes. i know what works for me and what doesn’t. i know what triggers my depression and anxiety, just like i know 100% why my depression is flaring up all of a sudden right now but i can’t do a damn thing about it so i just have to ride it out.

tldr;

take everything one day at a time, especially if you’re a student. my mantra during all of public school was: “if you get through today, you can get through tomorrow, you can get through this week.”

set daily goals or things to look forward to. if it’s on a schedule or timer, even better. triply better if it’s something you’re interested in bc then you have a genuine interest in it (wow the novelty)

write everything down even if it seems dumb and irrelevant

remember to eat something every day even if it’s small

remember to drink something every day even if it’s just a glass of water

on bad days: remember to take care of yourself. shower, brush your teeth, change your clothes.

#i'm probably forgetting something but it's almost 1am and i have class i NEED to get to sleep for #if you ever want to talk i'm here #you can hmu on any of my blogs or the im system if you're comfortable going off anon #anon #answer

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