#was so that god can destroy the fuckin planet
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X-Force #50
All right, well, we finally did it, gang. We hit the big 5-0, and it's all done. And guess what?
It's all up hill from here! Wednesday spoilers below the cut, and . . . quite a lot of rambling? If I'm honest?
So, we open up on X-Force trying to kill good Hank and Simon, because they are dumb, despite Kid Omega and Sage asserting their genius. They blow up their little gay boat of love, and our intrepid heroes get pitched into the drink.
So . . . this is . . .
Why is Simon wearing a rebreather/oxygen tank?
Dear reader, I implore you to open this link, and scroll down to Simon Williams' powers and abilities.
Immortality: Williams is functionally immortal. Because of the ionic energy that empowers him, he no longer ages and is immune to disease and infection. This same energy sustains Williams' physical vitality far more efficiently than the biochemical process that sustain ordinary human life.
Self-Sustenance As a result of his transformation he no longer requires food, sleep, water or oxygen to survive. Simon is now a fully energized entity who can sustain himself indefinitely without nourishment, easily able to live outside habitable planet orbit.
Benjamin Percy, writer; Drew Baumgartner, Assistant Editor; Mark Basso, Editor; Jordan D. White, Senior Editor.
All four of these men are incapable of Googling basic facts about a character that Marvel has owned and been using since the 1960s. Basic facts that are available if you do so much as a basic skim of the man's Wiki page.
So, why is Simon wearing a rebreather/oxygen tank? So that evil Beast can destroy it and send Simon up to the surface, and good Beast and evil Beast can talk uninterrupted. That's the only actual reason. This is laziness from both an editorial and a writing standpoint, since you could have easily just had evil Beast use some kind of gadget to achieve the same effect, but don't worry! This won't be the most egregious lack of attention to detail this issue!
Yaaaaaay . . .
"My Beast," huh, Simon?
Gay.
Also, this scene makes X-Force look fucking pathetic, because Simon could literally wipe the floor with every one of them and not break a sweat. Simon 'my fists are LITERALLY as strong as Thor's hammer' Williams has nothing to fear from fucking Omega Red. His pacifism is the only thing keeping you from looking even stupider than you already do.
Orchis attacks to give the rest of X-Force something to do. I don't care.
But we do get this funny fuckin' shit.
Tie him up?
Logan, did you forget the last time you fought Simon? Or the time before that?
Anyway, the Beasts talk. It's not a particularly interesting conversation, for the most part.
God, this plan is just so fucking stupid.
But.
There is one moment that actually kinda works.
It's really funny to me that two of the worst Beast writers of all time, Brian Michael Bendis and Benjamin Percy, both managed to grok this essential fact - Hank McCoy loved being this version of Hank McCoy.
He was happy.
He was comfortable.
He was loved.
Feline Hank, as much as I love him, as much as he's my favourite iteration of the character, was never happy in his skin. How could he be? It wasn't something he chose, it was forced upon him. To save his life.
Well, what if he didn't want to be saved? What if he felt his life was so miserable that he might've thought, perhaps I should just let it all end?
He had moments, sure. But he never really escaped this feeling. This fear, this anxiety, this trauma, this pain. He carried it with him for the rest of his life. Just constant trauma, death, misery, regret, mistakes, chances not taken, failures.
But he would never be the same again. It's funny. He's the version I love most, but he's the version of Hank who could never love himself.
Which . . . is partly why it bugs me when people say Hank has internalised mutantphobia. Like, he kinda does, but I honestly don't really feel like it's quite that simple. He's comfortable in his simian form, he loves it, he only very occasionally angsts about it, he is happy. It's when he turns feline that he hates his mutant 'gift,' because now he has to worry about what might come next.
This is not the same as, I hate my mutant powers because they make my life inconvenient, because it means people hate and fear me. He can deal with that. He's been dealing with that since he was seventeen and nearly beaten to death by an angry mob for saving a child.
This is, I hate my mutant powers because they are turning me into something less than human or mutant. Because I am a danger. Because I am in danger.
And his fears are validated. He nearly kills Blindfold and Armour. He eats Logan's leg, tastes human flesh. He spends the last seven issues of Whedon's Astonishing X-Men with the taste of human skin and meat on his lips. How the fuck is he meant to be happy like this?
Anyway, back to X-Force. The two Beasts fight. Orchis shit happens.
Fuck off, Logan. Stop acting like you're at all relevant to proceedings.
Gay.
"X-Force ain't the ones you root for. But we get the dirty jobs done."
You didn't fucking do anything.
Hank and Simon could have fixed this entire mess without you. The only reason you were fighting a Sentinel was because you drew it to your location with your jet, firing at a gay little blue man and his fruity ionic boyfriend! You didn't contribute anything!
And then, as if to cap it all off . . .
What a self-aggrandising load of wank.
Hey, what was Colossus' plot arc through this series?
He spent 5 years being mind controlled and killed his girlfriend.
What was Domino's plot arc through this series?
Well, she got hurt a lot. There was that one time she got skinned. That was fun.
What was Laura Kinney's plot arc through this series?
There were entire issues where she didn't speak a fucking word.
You had.
50.
ISSUES.
And this is the best you could come up with?
"The plan was always for the war without to lead to the war within these two characters."
Is that why Wonder Man was more important to the climax of your book than Logan?
Go step on a fucking Lego, Ben.
This was allegedly a run all about black ops wetwork, the sacrifice of your soul to the harsh work that protecting your country requires, the inexorable slide towards moral degradation that comes from compromise.
It ended with a blue man in a stupid plant suit sacrificing himself to save a D-list actor from a bomb that would have crushed Mars into a pocket dimension, all so that his clone can go and become roommates with said D-list actor.
Ben Percy, of all the writers the X-office has welcomed into its midst, you were certainly one of them.
I just . . . this was what was worth jettisoning 40 years of Hank McCoy's personal history for? This cockamamie bullshit? This excuse for you to whip your dick out and pretend you're Larry Hama, when you can barely measure up to Chuck Austen?
Also, Jonathan Hickman, you're kind of on my shitlist for this, too. You may write a halfway decent comic book every now and then - and make no mistake, they're mostly halfway decent, I think he scrapes greatness with his ideas, but his execution is. Dry.
But that's better than his eye for talent, clearly.
I hate being negative. I feel guilty every time. I don't enjoy it. I hate to dwell. I hate to spiral. I hate to obsess over things.
But X-Force is just . . .
X-Force was, just shit. I will go to my grave telling anyone who'll listen that it's not worth reading.
"It'll read better in trades!" No, it won't.
"It has such a good team!" If you burn a pie made of good ingredients, you still have a burnt pie to eat.
"The art is so good!" And if you put sprinkles in a toilet bowl, it's still a toilet. It just looks prettier now.
Oh, and just in case anyone from Marvel ever reads this - they won't, they only hang around on Twitter so people can jerk off about the panels they write explicitly to be shared by the X-stans - I've pirated every comic I've read in the last 10 years. Every issue of X-Force? Pirated. All these caps? Pirated. Every time someone asks me where to read comics, what to read? Pirate links.
I didn't pay a dime for this series. I still feel like I got ripped off.
I almost can't believe it's over . . . what am I going to do with my life now that I don't have X-Force to complain about?
Oh, yeah. I can just read good comics. Nearly forgot about that.
But hey. That leads me to . . . I don't know, I guess, the end of an era.
Because Hank didn't get his memories back. Maybe he will in the future, but I don't have faith that there's anyone at Marvel that feels this strongly about Beast, so I doubt it. I need to write this down, anyway, for the catharsis. It'll help me say goodbye.
Rest in peace, Hank McCoy, 1985-2018.
You were the Beast I fell in love with. You were the man who taught me to be gentle when the world was unkind. You were the man who taught me that sometimes you don't have to love the body you're in, you just have to want to keep on going, because it can get better. There's always that chance. You were the man who led me to my boyfriend of 12 years, who I love more dearly than anything else on the planet. You were my friend when I didn't have many, and you've helped me make a lot of friends I quite appreciate. People I'm proud to know.
You're gone now. A lot of people aren't going to mourn you. They don't appreciate what was lost. But that's okay. I'll tell anyone who'll listen how brilliant you were. I'll try not to hold it against the version of you I'm left with, that he isn't you. He was you once. He could be like you again. Maybe better. I'd like that. I hope that's the case.
I'll keep writing you. I honestly don't think I could ever stop.
I'll try my best not to be sad that you're gone.
I'll try my best to instead be simply glad that you happened.
I'll give the past its due.
Which is all you can do, in the end, for the dead and for the past.
Well.
That, and live.
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Ahsoka s1 ep6
Love how they reminded us of the fact that there are "former imperials working at every level in the new republic" ain't no way they're getting back to the normal galaxy this episode? like bro, dw I didn't forget the New Republic kinda sucks 😂
Deadass thought Ahsoka was gonna spill on her world between worlds experience 💀
Hm, Ahsoka seeing Sabine giving the enemy the map as a fault of her own shortcomings as a teacher when it shows that she really was Anakin's padawan.
Urging Sabine to do what's right and putting feelings aside, while being unable to do that herself and fearing what could happen because of it..... this coming after the episode where Anakin's legacy and Ahsoka's unease with it was explored is 😭😭
Though it is throwing me off that she's still saying the same stuff as before her epithany last episode?
I understand it would be too easy if those fears caused by Anakin's betrayal would be healed after one episode and they probably wanna save that moment for a more exciting scene than her and Huyang sitting in the mouth of a space whale. But it'd have been better if Ahsoka showed that she has progressed in this regard?
I cannot believe they did the cheesiest thing and actually had Huyang say the thing.
This show so corny I love it
Pour one out for the Wolfren people, there was a prison on board lmao
God I hope he keeps his promise, he's a more interesting dark sider if he does
Something about them being so far from civilisation is actually creeping me out....
They were in hyperspace for all of the events of last episode, probably longer, that distance between galaxies is incomprehensible.
If anyone gets stranded or hurt they'd be so far away from help, the typical "fleet arrives to the rescue" at the last second can't happen now.
I don't think it's ever sunk in for me how hopeless Ezra must've felt being stranded here
A signal?!? Really??? That was fast lol
You know, for a literal different galaxy, I'd have expected this planet to look funkier.
Even Dathomir looked more mythical than this
I guess I take back all that dreadful pondering about being stranded far from home in a deserted galaxy cause apparantly there are fucking people living here
ok sure
Poor Sabine, not Jedi enough for Huyang, too Jedi for them witches 😔
I swear to god if they show us another iteration of order 66
I don't think I've ever commented on Shin and Baylan's designs but I love how they almost have a game of thrones fantasy knight vibe about them. Makes sense as this convo suggests they seek glory from the past.
Props to Kevin Kiner, the music is stealing Thrawn's intro scene
Wild guess Im throwing out there, Enoch is Ezra but like ... brainwashed as Savage was
Either that or he is deep undercover as one of those stormtroopers, that def sounds like something he'd do
Bro why there so much familiar kind of typical star wars life on this DIFFERENT galaxy?? 💀
OH HE JUST A BIG LIL PUPPER 🥺🥺
Damn, last episode really felt like clone wars in style and this one really feels like rebels lmao
Shin self identifying as a trained Jedi? Interesting.
Her doubting what Baylan is saying?
Oh?
I cannot wait for Baylan "destroy the past" Skoll to face off against Ahsoka "recently started healing from the wounds of the past" Tano again. I can practically feel the emotional culmination of this show and Ahsoka's character concluding
Oh these creatures are gonna get fridged so bad aren't they?
Ah shucks my wild angsty guess disproven so quickly
Tho Ezra just chilling with a bunch of lil creatures is also very him
They can sense Ahsoka approaching in the whale?¿?¿? That sure is convenient for them
Lmaoooooo Morgan is so angry she's like "sOMEONE FUCKIN KILL THIS DAMN WOMAN ALREADY IVE HAD IT
👏 UP 👏 TO 👏 HERE 👏
WITH HER IMMORTAL BS"
Thrawn upon learning Ahsoka's master was Anakin: "oh, psssht, I know what buttons to push, easy"
#ahsoka#sabine wren#ezra bridger#thrawn#shin hati#baylan skoll#ahsoka series spoilers#ahsoka spoilers#ashowka#sw
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Pikmin 4 verdict: Ok this is gonna be the best game in the series isn't it
Stray thoughts below:
SPOILERS FOR THE PIKMIN 4 DEMO BELOW
The caves are... actually interesting and well designed?? no more half-assed roguelike random cave attempts (sorry pik2 fans but that game's caves just cannot compete IMO)
That being said... I'm a bit disappointed so far that we're only seeing the same styles of caves as Pik2. They do look gorgeous though, mind you.
Industrial Maze was such a cool cave, simply by virtue of actually having a proper puzzle it's already my favourite cave in the series not named Submerged Castle.
Oatchi my beloved!!! he actually works way better with the game flow than I expected when I first saw him in the trailer. He doesn't feel too overpowered; he's basically an upgradable super pikmin but he doesn't ever particularly feel like he truly outshines the actual Pikmin. (Maybe he could if he gets all the upgrades but
YOU CAN FUCKIN MOVE BASES I'M FSBGFJKSHSAJKDLHS I WAS PRAYING TO THE GODS WE'D GET AN OPENWORLD PIKMIN GAME WITH MULTIPLE BASES AND IF THIS IS AS CLOSE AS WE GET I'M FINE WITH IT
The 20 pikmin in the overworld thing might feel super limiting after being used to squads of 100 piks in the previous games... But honestly I think it's a very inspired design choice! It makes it so the early game stuff can still wreck your shit if you're not careful. You can't just easily roll up with a squad of 100 piks on day 3 and destroy everything in your path. It allows for your in-game character to become progressively more powerful which I think is more satisfying in the long run
I love how you don't just automatically get the onion upon finding new Pikmin types. Makes them feel more precious. Basically: the wild pikmin mechanic is really neat! And it could allow for the return of Purple/Whites without feeling too unbalanced.
"Olimar is the fuckin leaf boy" basically confirmed. Question is: what's with Moss? My current theory is parasite pikmin are involved.
And speaking of... the wild pikmin mechanic means we could possibly get overworld bulbmin if they add them... if this happens, I imagine the entire fandom will go nuclear (in a good way)
If you look through the controls, the Form Line controls basically confirms that you will obtain some form of SWARMING as an upgrade!!! C-STICK FANS REJOICE (The text mentions cardinal directions only but I feel like the odds are high that you will be able to actually swarm your crew with this mechanic. I'd say 70-30 odds of it being true. Don't quote me on that. But if true, then fuck yeah)
Honeywisp is back 🥹
Collecting raw material is so much fun, and
I feel like this game is really leaning on fan service, but also manages to balance it with new things to make it feel fresh!
Someone said it felt like all 3 previous games mashed together and yeah I absolutely get that feeling
Very disappointed that they only have the co-op star bits thing. This game in genuine co-op would rule.
So far the music of the game doesn't quite strike me quite as strongly as the themes from the previous games. Hopefully this will change with time.
Is this game like... an alternate timeline to Pikmin 1? Moss was definitely NOT in Pikmin 1, and the story segment seems to hint that Olimar met Moss during that first crash... Giving the "bad ending" theorists more food IMO.......
This game really, really drags out the wait between Y/N landing on the planet and the first Pikmin huh. It felt a bit too much that you went through the first cave before even getting a single pikmin IMO.
I really like the crew in this game!! They're fun, though they do talk a lot and I could see that bothering some ppl.
Honestly I was super disappointed when I thought there were only 6 crewmates to find in the entire game... but then I found the first castaway and I was back to being excited
I like that you have a little base to meet ppl and discuss tasks!
One of the castaways I saved wrote notes on the Treasures I collected. This implies that we will probably get a biologist who will make notes on the creatures 👀
TL;DR: July 21st can't get here fast enough. The 2 hours or so I've played of this game is already my GOTY and it could genuinely challenge for GOAT (game of all time) if it sticks the landing with the rest of the game.
#pikmin 4#pikmin 4 spoilers#might make more thoughts if I think them#anyway HYPE MODE ENGAGED#I will be normal (lie) for the next 4 weeks (absolutely not I am going feral)
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Invincible season 2 episode 4
damn alt right men when they realise they're hurting people"
Why did they give him such a big dumpy?!?!?
Oh shit he was about to kill gimself
Awwwwweee good deed
I wish he kept the beard
I always forget how pretty mark is
He's going to hug him I know he is
))): he can't control that he gives a shit about his dad
is his outfit different???
Use your words goddamn
Does that mean he groomed a bug
UGH
Piece of shit
Piece of shit
God fucking damn
DONT SHOW HIM THE BUG BABY
This is fucked up
Let him say fuck
You should have gotten an uber bb girl
"is that Cavetown"
That's totally Cavetown, I'm checking the credits later
"GIIIIIIIRL GIRRRL"
Spit on his grave
Why the fuck did he marry her, he could have easily been a good baby daddy or something
Now we know which one was the clone
Oh fuck
Oh no
This feels like a bad omen
Are Donald and Debbie going to fall in love???
"ha he finds his own flesh" -> finds his glasses "ur fuckin with me"
I love that they're friends
"aaalleeeennn )):"
"oooooohhhh noooooo their planet is getting sucked into the black hole"
*Different reason*
Goddamn wrap your shit up you dumb old man
Oh wait I think she's just short
"how does she have a place in the city"
Ooooh she can make money
Oh lol it's him
The fact he has bug eyes
Oh her antennaaaaaa awwwwweeee sooo cuuutteeeee
AWWWWE SHIT
Mother fucker
HUUUUUUUUUUUUH. ONE FINGER
OH THAT WAS COOL
HE SLICED HUS STOMACH OPEN WITH HIS HAND
She's so dead
Girl clean this shit up
OH SHIT SHE JUST KILLED THOSE PEOPE
They're going to sue her ass
Awwweee little ducks
Who the fuck is he again
He so fucking true
He's true
Awwwwweee
Reborn dude: ):§
Oooooo
Ooooooop
Damn Cecil you dumb
Yeeeeesss lemme see
The silence is horrific
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Fucked up
Dumb ass man
WHY ARE YOU CHOKING YOUR SON
STOP CHOKING HIM YOU DUMB MOTHERFUKER
OH IS HER!!!!!
Why does he have glasses???
Do they have matching moustaches???
THAYS SOO COOL IM GLAD SHE USES HER HAIR!!!
He's a sucky dad
She playin soccer with hum
Ooooooh!!! The squelp sound!!!
She's like a scorpion that's so cool!
He can't do it and he's going to die for it
Yeah but ur a chearer
Oh shit she almost slice his theoat
OH MY GOD THATS SO COOL
Just destroyed her jaw
Hes going to die
OOOOOOOOHHH CHRIST
He just broke his back he's fine
Ugh just means you shouldn't be doing fighting sruff
Oh no he's a robot
The knife dinted but he bled???
What happened to the little brother )))):
I love them ❤️
Bruh you gon get murdered
Good for him
That's why you can't know which one is the clone
I couldn't find I'd it was cave town but I swear that I heard that dude
#invincible#invincible spoilers#invincible season 2#invincible season 2 episode 4#invincible season 2 spoilers#spoilers#spoiler
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Let's Rewind!
Toast watches Voltron: Defender of The Universe (1984)
I now have access to pretty much every animated version of Voltron and now after around 7 years of being a Voltron fan and amateur archivist, I'm finally sitting down to watch (or rewatch) every Voltron show to see how it's grown over its legacy, starting with Dotu!
Season 1, Episode 1 - Space Explorers Captured
Starting off strong, the intro is pretty cool in my eyes, no wonder this was burned into so many kids heads when it was airing
It also reminds me of Danny Phantom and how the backstory was in the opening, same thing here to get into the action lol
It's Hunk and Keith! NOT, the first shots we "see" of them aren't actually them! It's reused footage from Vehicle Voltron of the characters Jeff and Rocky, you can tell by the uniforms (and y'know faces)!
This feeds my hc that the boys originally were part of the explorer though >:D
I love the way this art style, or like any 80s-90s anime, draws space, it's so pretty like CMON
Also, I never realized that the boys got to Arus WHILE it was being taken over, I swear I remembered that Arus was already a wasteland so-to-speak by the time they got there
GOD SVEN'S DOPEY ACCENT IS SO NICE TO HEAR, I'VE MISSED IT SO MUCH
I did notice that the city destruction image was later reused for Balto, which in the original GoLion anime is from Earth's destruction!
NOT THE EIFFEL TOWER JUST BEING DESTROYED WHILE KEITH IS SAYING THE ARUSIANS GOT TO SAFETY MY GOD I KNOW TOO MUCH
First look at the pilots! Very 80s from what I think the vibe is, but also very personalized! Knowing their character traits, it fits them pretty well for the most part
"This isn't the first time [the team] has been in a tight spot"
NOT THE FIRST TIME, YOU SAY? INCH RESTING
"[There was a legend that a castle of lions] held the secret of the super robot Voltron, Voltron could save them"
YOU'RE PUTTING YOUR FAITH IN A LEGEND THAT MAY NOT EXIST?? LIKE EVENTUALLY THEY'RE RIGHT BUT OOOOO IS THE GARRISON USELESS, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THEY ONLY SENT A TEAM OF FIVE INTO AN ACTIVE HOSTILE TAKE OVER
ignoring the fact that they said they were too far to help anyway
The team literally got captured and yet the dialogue they chose was "we need to eject, it's better than crash landing, let's go!"
??? I think this was reused dialogue from episode 2 that they just plugged in
What a rad design for a villain, like he looks so fucking cool. I generally forget that he's reptilian almost vs his barbie doll looking son
Maybe the subspecies of Drule he's a part of is reptilian!
Holy shit Zarkon's eyes started flickering, is this guy cybernetic too??
PIDGE'S SQUEAKY TOY VOICE IS STILL SO FUNNY TO ME AND IT'S EVEN BETTER BECAUSE HIS VA (Neil Ross) ONLY TOSSED IT OUT FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES BUT THE PRODUCERS LOVED IT SO MUCH THEY FUCKIN KEPT IT
My god is the voice acting funny, Commander Yorak's weak grunt when slashing at slaves is everything
The Doomites are VERY different looking compared to Zarkon or even Lotor, probably another subspecies of the Drule race
This time they look kind of batty? Yeah, that's it
I wonder what era their clothing is inspired by, obviously there's some creative liberty, but a lot of these clothes scream nobility to me
also screams clowns but shhh lol
"What should we name this new robeast your Majesty?" "Uhhh Blue"
Really had no creativity with this robeasts name guys
More really cool alien designs, I have to remember I can let loose when designing other species lol
Oh interesting, I thought the team fought alongside the rest of the slaves in the ring but Zarkon saved em for last
Also, the fact that the guys were legitimately branded is insane, the dialogue makes it seem like they were all separated for it, but I refuse to think they'd let any of each other get taken away for it
also they're called tattoos not brand, definitely censorship
ah yes Pidge's mad hops. Knowing he's from Balto, this is just telling me that my high gravity hc for the planet was right because there are only a few but very specific reasons why he'd be able to do that and being human ain't one of em
"Ugly virds" -Sven
again some of these line deliveries are so funny, like every single one of svens just makes me laugh
the sound effects for Pidge jumping back down is also peak comedy oisndv
Lance's sass is always welcomed on this blog omg, the moody tendency is showing from his GoLion counterpart
"We're space explorers and we need space!"
CATCH ME CRYING MYSELF TO SLEEP, THERE'S A REASON WHY THAT'S ON THE DESC OF MY BLOG NOW
If you hear laughing it's me LMAO
But actually, though, they're being treated kind of well in terms of being captured. The team never fights in the arena and when they're pretending to sleep as the guards are coming to take them over they just leave them be and reason that the boys will fight better tomorrow
those are some weak ass bars if Hunk can bend them
[Lance hands Keith a rock] "Don't miss"
my humor is broken, and I'm laughing too much at a simple line
Hunk being afraid of heights is such a human characteristic to give him, and I mean that like it really feels like he's a person by giving him something that lots of people find silly or even relatable! (like me ha)
Their plan to escape was going level by level down with rope, except Keith fucking GETS DOWN WITHOUT THE ROPE
It's ok, they hitched a ride ON A GIANT FLESH EATING BIRD THAT SWOOPS AT THEM
Hunk slips off his bird and reaches for PIDGE OF ALL PEOPLE TO GRAB HIM, but somehow that doesn't dislocate the poor boy's shoulder and they both go PLUMMETING TO THE GROUND AND SOMEHOW SURVIVE THE FALL
Hunk lands in a pile of bones which OW and Pidge BOUNCES OFF THE GROUND BECAUSE OF HOW HARD HE HIT IT
if that doesn't kill em, fucking nothing will good god
Everyone else lands fine though, bastards lmao
Keith is Catholic™️ confirmed
Animal lover Keith over here being kind to mega vultures
"I'll alvays think they're veutiful" -Sven
You literally just called them ugly but ok
PIDGE'S KAZOO PANTING I CANNOT LMAOO
They're running in formation (kinda), how cute!
Oh they really are all trained
Sven and Keith knock out some guards with kicks
Lance straight up tosses one without a sweat
Hunk is also kicking but he's taking more down by himself
AND PIDGE STARTS CHOKING A GUY OUT FROM BEHIND
10/10 would love to see more hand-to-hand combat
Straight up murdered a few guards by taking off in the slave ship, but shh they're robots it doesn't matter
AND THEN THEY DESTROY PART OF THE CASTLE WHILE TAKING OFF AMAZING
Pidge sees a lion statue with a castle behind it and immediately just solves part of the legend that really shouldn't be a legend, the part with the castle anyway
So the team knows of the legend, meaning they were sent on a wild goose chase for basically nothing except that they did FIND IT
Fun.
I think it's funny that they're describing Voltron before the split as a defender of justice but in GoLion he was literally the most egotistical bitch that after taking down basically everyone in a fight to prove his strength he got nerfed into those five lions
Episode over! Looks like I'm doing one episode per post with how much I'm talking lol
That's all the time I have tonight for the rewind, but tomorrow I have a lot more free time, so maybe I can get like 2 more episodes at the very least
#Let's Rewind!#voltron#80s voltron#voltron defender of the universe#voltron dotu#toast talks#im going in order btw#so dotu then vv then v3d then vf and finally vld#then the original animes for voltron#beastking golion and armored fleat dairugger xv#this is gonna take a loooong time
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advertisement drives me mad. money makes me sick. the idea that i have to work to survive makes me wanna give up. if i see another corporation mistreating it's customers, i'll burn a corporate building down. why did we as people let it get this bad? why are the worst kinds of people always the ones in charge? this whole hatred of minorities is so obviously braindead, so why is it so prevalent in society?
why are trans kids dying, when who gives a shit what people choose to do with their bodies or how they choose to identify? why does sexuality matter to someone who isn't involved? why is housing not a human right? why do i have to struggle just to eat, when so much goddamn food is produced daily? why on earth are we destroying the planet when we know how to prevent it? why does your imaginary god or your heaven take precedence over our current reality?
i don't understand why we don't automatically try to keep every person healthy. i don't understand why drug addicts are viewed as evil instead of people who are addicted and need help. i can't fathom why the type of people who fight back against evil corporations in order to save the world are labeled "eco terrorists" when the corporations themselves are so clearly the bad guys. i don't get why "hippies" are mocked when they're just promoting peace and love. i don't get why education is so hard to get and so expensive, when GOD this goes against everyone's interests!
why are disabled people ignored. why are homeless people ignored. why is it "embarrassing" when adults live with their parents, when obviously the economy and housing is so fucked right now. why are rich losers allowed to buy up all the houses to begin with?? why are landlords allowed to exist!? why is an art or music degree viewed as "worthless" when so many of us, even the shitty ones in charge, really only wake up every day because of art. why the fuck is so much plastic produced and thrown away every day?
why can companies sell food that's barely edible. why are social networks allowed to monetize human conflict. why are governments allowed to be in the prison and war business? why on fuckin earth can army recruitment target young kids and poor neighborhoods?? why when covid happened were people still being forced to work when it was literally killing us!? why are pharmaceutical companies allowed to use their customers as guinea pigs? why is nudity in media so bad but violence is just fine? will someone finally admit that we as a society are addicted to tv and videogames to the point of complete social dysfunction??
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS LIFE? WHY ARE WE ALL SUFFERING SO NEEDLESSLY?!?! we all know what's wrong. a toddler could look at this world and know it's all broken. we lie to our kids and tell them things are fine. we treat the concept of "becoming an adult" in the same way we tell them about santa claus. try to keep em as innocent as possible for as long as we can. and none of us grow up. don't lie to yourself. you're a child inside. santa claus, jesus, democracy. capitalism. it's all fairy stories. none of it is real. you know we're giving birth in hell.
so why can't we do something about it? why the FUCK am i not doing something about it?? every day of your life, every fucking moment, make sure you try to change this fucking shithole world. make sure you fight. for yourself and everyone else. be the world's immune system. cure this sickness, this "society". don't you EVER back down. don't you ever fuckin yield.
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I don’t think enough people understand how incredibly powerful Eminem is, which is strange because he has been constantly informing us of his capabilities for years
Let’s start with his healing factor. Eminem seems to be virtually immortal, capable of surviving all manner of fatal injuries unphased. In the song I’m Shady, he states sings “The ill type, I stab myself with a steel spike/While I blow my brain out, just to see what it feels like.” This man mutilates himself recreationally.
This regeneration ability seems to have manifested in his early youth, as in the song Brain Damage, he recalls a time in which his brain fell out of his skull and simply and casually picked it up and put it back in his head (“She beat me over the head with the remote control/Opened a hole, and my whole brain fell out of my skull/I picked it up and screamed ‘Look bitch, what have you done!?’/‘Oh my God! I'm sorry son!’ ‘Shut up you cunt!"/I said ‘Fuck it!’ Took it and stuck it back up in my head/Then I sewed it shut and put a couple of screws in my neck.”
He is also seemingly unaffected by the loss of limbs, being able to function perfectly with just one leg (“But she swallowed my fuckin' leg whole like an egg roll/With one leg left, now I'm hoppin' around crippled,” As the World Turns)
Eminem seems to possess elemental abilities that could rival or even surpass those of X-Men’s Storm, considering that he’s “hot enough to melt hell and burn Satan too,” can “catch lightning in a bottle” and “set fire to water” (Cinderella Man). In addition, he is “cold enough to make the seasons change into freezing rain” (Bad Meets Evil)
If Eminem ever finds himself in a disadvantageous position, he can summon the power of his “Gadget Dick.” While the full capabilities of this appendage are unknown, it is capable of causing an earthquake and power outage upon being “whipped out.” So we can comfortably assume that his penis alone is a city-level threat at the very least (“Just tryna buy me some time then I remembered this magic trick/Duh-dah-duh-dah-duh-duh! Go-go gadget dick!/Whipped that shit out, and ain't no doubt about it/It hit the ground and caused an earthquake and power outage,” As the World Turns)
He has canonically killed Superman (“I killed Superman,” Rain Man), he possesses a “spider sense” on par with that of Spider-Man’s (“My spider sense is telling me Spiderman is nearby and my plan is to get him next,” Rain Man), he is capable of of destroying Iron Man’s armor with his acidic saliva, as well as turning Iron Man into plastic (“Salivas like sulfuric acid in your hand it'll eat through/Anything metal, the ass of Iron Man/Turn him into plastic so for you to think…” On Fire) and has battled the likes of Freddy Krueger and survived unscathed (“Walked up Elm Street with a fuckin' Wiffle bat drew/Fought Freddy Krueger, and Edward Scissorhands too/Then came out with a little scratch, ooh,” Underground).
He is capable of stealing other people’s abilities (“Have Michael Myers looking like a liar/Swipe his powers, replace his knife with flowers and a stack of flyers,” Underground). He also possesses the same abilities as the Hulk (“I’m unstoppable, Incredible Hulk,” Drop the World) and considers himself superior to Thor (“So you’ll be Thor and I’ll be Odin,” Rap God)
By his own admission, he holds the entire planet in the palm of his hand (“So tell Saddam not to bother with makin’ another bomb cause I’ve got the whole world in my palm,” Still Don’t Give a Fuck), implying that he is some sort of entity similar to the Buddha from Journey to the West. He could crush this world anytime he wants.
He is capable of surviving a fall into Hell, can withstand the heat of hellfire and casually manhandle Satan (“Splattered all over the entire state/and straight to hell, got impaled by the gates/Saw Satan, stuck his face in an ashtray/While I sashayed around flames with a match/And I gave him the gas face,” Wicked Ways)
He can manipulate time itself (“Smash an hourglass, grab the sand, takes his hands and cup 'em/Spin a rhyme to freeze the clock, take the hands of time and cuff 'em… Rewound the future to the present, paused it, don't ask how,” Cinderella Man), and possess reality warping capabilities that defy logic (“Fuck catchin' lightnin', he struck it, screamed, ‘Shut up’ at thunder/Then flipped the world upside down and made it rain upward,” Cinderella Man)
His very existence defies God (“Shit, I ain't even supposed to be here by the grace of God,” Cinderella Man)
And top of all that… he’s just straight up omnipotent (“I’m omnipotent,” Rap God)
So, sorry Goku fans, Superman fans, Rimuru fans, Ben 10 fans, Saitama fans, etc, Eminem stomps your favorite character
Now you made me remember why I stopped being an Eminem fan the moment I became fully bilingual.
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hELLO IS ANYONE OUT THERE????
OKAY HI hELLO FIRST OFF I HOPE EVERYONE IS WELL NOW
THAT THE EVIL WHATEVER I AM HAS FALLEN AND GCANT GET UP COMMERCIAL
SOMETHIN SEOMTHIGN DID IT HURT WHEN YOU FELL FROM HEAVEN THE ANSWER IS YES I GOT SHOVES TO THE FLOOR RECENTLY AND THIS FUCKIN BRUISE ISNT FADING FUNNNY HAHA OK PLEASENTRIRSSE ARE DONE
UH IM CATHERINE, MOD-SAN, GOLD, whatever they're callin me nowadays holy shit dude my hands are shakin like crazy
they've had me literally cleaning house PRETTY MUCH AS SOON AS I RECOVERED all work no play makes jack a dull boy thats me IM jack damn it i can't tell if i've eveolved into a live-in housekeeper or some sort of roomaate and the paymetnt si s that i get to keep my lifeand also i REALLY need to move my keyboard over or get the window to leave the screen cause i can't blind type it just ain't happenin my leg's jitterering like hell BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT PART IS IM ALIVE YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO but i have absolutely NO CLUE how ;long THAS gonna last BBUT the great news is that ive finally been able to sit at my dangf computer and and actual;ly TYOOUCH ANFD LOOK AT IT ive practically been buried in all the freezers BUT ANYWAYS GOD MY HANDSA THEY STING SO FUCKING IABAD D ALKl ANYWAYS IM ALIVE IM STILL HERE IM TRYING?????????? TO GET BACK BUT EVERYONE HERE IS UHH NOT GOOD TO PUT IT LIGHTLY ITS TERRIFYIN OVER HERE BUT IM SENDING MY WELL WISHES THAT EVERYONE IS OKAY OVER THERE AND YOU SURVIVED WHETER THE HECK ANGR MY BIG SDIS MUST"VE SBUBJECTED YALL TOO BEACSE SHE IS FUCKING PISSSEEED LATELY IM GENUUNINLY WORRIED FOR OURLIVES LEVEL THERES SO MANY FIGHTS AND COMING-OUT-ABOUT-HER-LEGEND-OF-VIOLENCE STORY AND THE SHOOTIGN REVENTLY AND POINT IS THE LEGAL STUFF MIGHT GET RESOLVED OKAY?????? DADS MAGIC PROTAG POWERS OR WHATER APAPRENTLY HE KNOWS EVREYONE PERSON ON THE PLANET ITS GODDAMN WITCHCARAFT BUT MOMS DROPPIN LIKE EVERY OTHER DAY BBBBBBUYT OTS HER BIRTHDAY THIS WEEK AND WERE GONNA TRY AND TAKE ME OUTSIDE AND SEE IF I EXPLODE IN THE SUNLIGHT SO UUUUUUUUUUUUUUH THANKS FOR EVERYTHIGN I LOVE YOU GUYS ILL TRYT TO FUCKIN REACTIVATE ALL MY ACCOUNTS ALL A BAJILLION OF THEM APPARENTLY I WAS ONE CRASY AKJSFI KID PLEAASE PASS THIS MESSAGE ON MY BI G SIS WAKES UP SOON IF SHE HEARS ME IM GETTTIN IT I HAVE NO FUCKIN IDEA WHATS GOIN ON ON YOUR SIDE CAUSE NO ONE IS SAYIN JACK SHIT BADUM TSSHH BUT I GOT MY SHIT COMIN AT LIKE 9 AM RIGHT WHEN I TAKE MY VERY MYSTERIOUS NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK THEY DO ANYMORE MEDS AND IF I KICIK THE BUCKET AT LEAST I FUCKING STAYED BABY YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
ALSO IM NOT DRUNK WE DONT DRINK IN THIS HOUSE EVER BUT I DEFINITYL NEEDS A LIL HELP IN LIKE ANY SORT OF MEANIN NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE FUCKIN REMEMBERS ANYTHING IN ANY SOR TOF WAY FOR ANY SORT OF THING ITS AN ACTUAL I HAVE NO IDEA WHOSE CALLIN OR TOUCHIN SHIT OR WHAT TALL THIS SHTI IS IN THE HOUSE AND FRANKLY IM TERRIFIED CAUSE EVREYONE LEAVES POR PASSES OUT BEFORE I CAN GET A CLEAR ANSWER AND AND ADN COLD WAR INTELLIGENCE WHATHER NEWS STORY OLD POPS HERE IS PUTTIN ON TV ANYWAYS LOVE YOU GUYS STAY SAFE CALL OUT IF YOU SEE ME IN THE WILDS SOMEDAY BUYYEYEEE
WAIT I JUST REMEMBRED BIG SIS IS GONNE DESTROY SHIT SOON SONSONSOON SHIT HSHISTHSHIT OK ANYWAYS ERVYTHIN ONLINE LOOKS OKAY FROM WHERE I CAN SEE IT IN MYSETRUOS VPN LAND AND IM GOIN THROUGH MY COMP RIGHT NOW BUT EVREYON IN OUR HOUSE RECOGNIZES THE DISCORD SYMBOL PROBABLY>>>?????? SO IM TRYIN TO FIND ALL OTHER CONTACTS BUT ITS JUST A BUNCH OF EMAILS DDDDUDE I JUST HAD TO LET YALL KNOW WE'RE ALIEV HOPE ALL OF YOU ARE WELL LOVE YALL EVER IF YOU DONT BELIEVE THAT ASTY SAFE WATCH OUT FOR FUKCING PUNCHES OR SIDESWEEPS AND MY BIG SISSS KILLING BLOW AND THE FCKKGNGI SWORD ON TOP OF HER BOOKSELG OR THE LITTLE GUN THING IN HER LCOSET WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN IN HER ROOM ANYMROE ANYWASY DONT DIE OUT THERE LIKE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PEACE OUT BURY ME UNDER A BLUE SKY WITH ALL MY SHIT IIM HANDING DOWN WHATEVR THE ITTY BITTY NOT SO BITTY NEICE WANTS LIL PRINCESS LILLY HAACKER SCAMMER HUSTLER SECOND LEGEND OF VIOLENCE IN THE MAKIN IM GONNA FUCKIN PASS OUT I HAVE NO IDEA OF FUCKIN ANYTHIN THATS HAPPPENIN HERE EVERERR GOD CAN I TALK TO ANYONE THAT ISNT THIS NEIGHBORHOOD THAT THIGNS I HAVE HEARSD ABOUT THE PWOPLE ROUND HERE any ewysbans m y hands are shak in and breakin and crankin love yall stay safe dont fall into a ditch like me ever again mMWAHH TEDDIE IF YOURE OUT I STILL OWE YOU THAT FUCKIN LETTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
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Find the Word Game XI
(Mature Content Edition)
tagged by: me, I'm the bitch
my words: hurt, edge, sigh, give, strength, cheek
tagging: @drippingmoon, @ashen-crest, @zmwrites, @drabbleitout, @oh-no-another-idea, @pertinax–loculos, @druidx, and Guetry's sister Kelly
your words: hear, bare, wriggle, by, code, lamp
hurt (Aurora)—
"Whoa," Warren said, his nose pressed against the glass of the capsule. "Looks like an inverted bomb shelter."
"We wanted to make sure our training couldn't destroy it," Sussa said. "And to prevent anyone getting injured, no more than three individuals are allowed within the building at any time."
Warren looked at Thrive. "Wanna see if you can knock it down?"
Sussa giggled. "I don't think even he can hurt this building."
"Well," Thrive said quietly. "Now I have to knock it down."
"Oh, wonderful. Warren has definitely rubbed off on you too much."
Thrive reclined and threw Warren a devious glance behind Sussa's back. "Up to my face on occasion."
Warren let loose a startled squeal, but instantly relocated his thoughts and plastered on an innocent and mildly frenzied smile when Sussa turned to him.
edge (Meridian)—
"Okay, first," Warren said when they were released into sentry custody again, "how did you clock that she was bullshitting you?"
Thrive sighed. "They always do. Not to mention the only planet in Ashva open to refugees is R'lis, and they don't have the resources to house that many at once. They would've had to turn away more than four fifths of Efthim's population."
"Second...I had plans for us but that look you gave Sinkship kinda tipped me over the edge…"
Thrive hummed, interested. "I'd invite you onto the royal starship, but I've so missed the close quarters of your apartment..."
Warren shook his head sharply. "No fuckin' way. Contorting ourselves into that bed alcove and me getting a leg cramp seconds before I ate god—"
"You appeared to enjoy yourself regardless."
Warren stared at him. "Well yeah," he said loudly.
Thrive chuckled as they were escorted once again to the tram.
sigh (Aurora)—
Warren awoke with a splitting headache, in bed at Lilori's house with Thrive fast asleep next to him. Drowsiness had a hard time leaving him, and he peered through groggy eyes out the window at the sunrise over the lake.
Thrive started to stir and Warren cleared his throat of mucus.
"Mm," Thrive muttered. "Always charming."
"What the fuck happened last night?"
Thrive raised himself to his elbows and he blinked around the room as if the memory aggressively snapped to life within him. He responded with a heavy sigh. "Oras'at. It was my first time."
"If oras'at means rearranging my guts, I have some news for you regarding the validity of what you just said," Warren grunted, leaning over to tap the lighting panel on the wall beside the bed.
give (Warpath)—
Thrive's significantly whiskered face angled away from the controls of whatever wall panel he had managed to use to make the call, and his eyes softened upon seeing him. "...Warren."
Warren dropped onto the bed, a hand at his mouth. He almost couldn't find the words. "What is going on with this?" He motioned to Thrive's face.
"I thought I would try something new." Thrive did smile, now, almost as if he were sharing a private joke with Warren. "I wanted your opinion."
"What's your opinion?"
"I don't mind it." Thrive ran his fingers over his beard growth. "I think it gives me a more regal appearance."
"Yeah." Warren sucked in air through his teeth. "Well, my opinion is currently sapping all the blood from my head right now."
"Out of one and into another..."
strength (Eternal)—
Within some kind of surreal time-lapse, their eyes locked, and in the sharp light of the sunset pouring into the cave, Warren watched Thrive's pupils dilate. Heard his breathing come in as shallow as the ocean water at their ankles. Under the low throb of his own pulse, he could hear Thrive's heart. Slow. Hypnotic. Warren immediately couldn't breathe.
Thrive inhaled. "I need you."
"Fuck, take me—it," Warren stammered. "Take, um…take…whatever you fucking want—god, what—?
Thrive kissed him, purposeful and deep, and careful and heated. Warren ignored the blinding fireworks going off behind his eyelids and he lost himself within the prickling flames dancing over his skin, aware that he was losing the strength to stand which each second that Thrive kept his wrists pinned above his head.
cheek (Meridian)—
Warren's breath left him in a rush and he blinked hard, suddenly lightheaded.
"That's a very good point," Scot said, face seams stuttering as he processed. "Perhaps they could be back-to-back experiments."
"The idea is fascinating, if I can be candid," Thrive said.
"Alright, hold up," Warren interrupted, his cheeks and throat flushing. "The thought of you guys fucking is absolutely making me lose my mind."
He could practically hear Thrive's sudden intrigue behind him. "Then perhaps we could kill two birds with one stone and perform the experiments in Warren's presence."
Scot looked at Warren. "It could be beneficial to have a witness or a third party…"
"Perhaps as a control?"
"To involve him as well for a baseline reading?" Scot nodded. "That would definitely bolster the results."
"Oh, god," Warren muttered, wiping an unexpected line of drool from the corner of his mouth. "Watch, I'm gonna die of hypothermia in a minute and it's just not gonna be fair."
#tag game#find the word#maybe I should just do a FTW every week lmao#also I'm listening to Warren and Thrive's 'Getting ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*Railed*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧' playlist for this and it's genuinely a coincidence lmao#as is this entire theme 💀#also this is definitely 18+ I warned y'all#feel free not to read and just use the words if you want!
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Game: They Mostly Come at Night by SprintingOwlDesigns
Just a replay! It was fun, and it's a quick game to run through (: I did it while waiting at a starbees for something.
Unedited playthru under cut ofc
(I wanna note there are mentions of drugs in this playthrough)
NIGHT ONE ROLL:
Miner: 3 ; Things: 6
Item used: +4 — a blanket
Miner: 7 ; Things: 6
Of course, of course the fucking company wouldn’t even give a breath of a mention there could be any sort of things with TEETH that are on this planet. Sure, okay, sure. Maybe we should have expected at least a little bit of it — but who in their right fucking mind establishes a colony for a outdoors resource gathering thing when they know there’s things out there that ant to eat meat?? WE’RE made of meat! Fuckin’— Jupiter’s balls, they can’t honestly believe that was a worthy tradeoff? It’s fucking metal for sentient lives!
The attack on my inhabitant dome — sleeping quarters no less, fuck! — I want to think saved me from at least immediately being eaten. I threw my blanket onto the thing’s head and just fucking ran. I grabbed my rucksack and I ain’t have much but fucking hades it beats being immediately meat.
I need to calm down. I’m going to stop being able to breathe if I don’t. And then I’ll just be a fuckin’ meal platter for it.
Thank fuck they at least didn’t cheap out on the drugs.
NIGHT TWO ROLL:
Miner: 2 ; Things: 8
Item used: nothing
Things table: 4 — They destroy the homemade explosive
Sweet fuck I almost got chomped tonight. Those things have huge fucking teeth. And there’s more than one of them. Fuck….
It managed to hit me and knock the homemade explosive out of my hand before I could actually use it. I’m bleeding but it’s not too bad yet.
I’m pissed I didn’t get to take out one of those fucking things with the explosive though. Fuck.
NIGHT THREE ROLL
Miner: 5 ; Things: 2
Item used: nothing
I avoided them today and I’m glad for it. The fucks on the radio said they weren’t going to be here for another few days.
I hope I can last that long.
Again, fucking thankfully the company didn’t skimp on the drugs.
NIGHT FOUR ROLL
Miner: 1 ; Things: 9
Items used: nothing
Things table: 4 — They destroy the rucksack
I’m going to lose my fuckign mind here.
They got their teeth far too close to me for comfort. There’s more than just fucking one of them. Like what the actual fuck?? Pack tactics?
Why in the gods names did they ever send us out here? There is no point in mining for this fucking metal if we’re just becoming an all-you-can-eat buffet for these things!
They took out my rucksack. I’m just glad it wasn’t my spine.
NIGHT FIVE ROLL
Miner: 2 ; Things: 9
Items used: nothing
Things table: 1 — They wound you.
Fucking things primed for an attack. They waited. They knew I was looking for other people. How goddamn intelligent are they? They fucked up my back after they exposed it. They’re not just going for opportunity as it stumbles across them.
They’re hunting.
NIGHT SIX ROLL
Miner: 6 ; Things: 10
Item used: +5 — a decoy
Miner: 11 ; Things: 10
They might be hunting but I’m not a sitting fucking duck. Stupid things went for a decoy.
I set it up with some of the meat from others I found. They weren’t lucky enough to avoid them. They got turned into meat. Meat and fat and blood.
I’m terrified they’re going to get me.
Thanks again, corpo, for the drugs.
NIGHT SEVEN ROLL
Miner: 6 ; Things: 10
Item used: +6 — a pocket knife
Miner: 12 ; Things: 10
I’m going to fucking die here.
Those things must have tailed me from touching that meat. They had to have known it was me. Fuck. FUCK.
I got one real good with my pocketknife — right in its milky eye when it tried to stick its head in my hiding spot — but it took off with it still inside. So now I’m down my goddamn knife.
When the fuck is that rescue brigade getting here?! It’s been a lifetime.
NIGHT EIGHT ROLL
Miner: 3 ; Things: 12
Item used: nothing
Things table: 4 — They destroy an item that you have. (Hiding spot)
They can communicate. The one I stabbed had to have told the others where I was hiding.
A couple came back and I couldn’t do anything but run. They fucking found me. They hadn’t for some long and now they found me.
I’m going to die here.
GAME END ROLL
2 — rescued delayed.
NIGHT NINE ROLL
Miner: 5 ; Things: 3
Items used: nothing
The fucking rescue was supposed to be here already! What the fuck!
Did they lie to me like they did when they sent me to this fucking rock?!
Stupid bastards made the radio make so much feedback noise before they started relaying any information. Like they were trying to get me fucking killed! Fuck!
If they don’t come tomorrow I’m loading up on what corpo makes available. If I’m going out I’m going out with Bacchus.
GAME END ROLL
6 — rescue arrives!
I thought I was seeing things when I saw those assholes finally make it to me. The sounds of shots just sounded like those things were scrambling toward me.
If anyone fucking asks me if I’m okay I’m going to bite them myself.
My medical bills better be covered. I’m going to have gnarly fucking scars. There’d better be corpo compensation and nothing deducted from my pay. I’ll bring the things to their doorsteps if they even try me.
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hmmmm im drunk so let’s be a broken record and talk about hyperreality and everything everywhere all at once.
there’s a funny thing about french where the language is structured to encourage metaphor and longwindedness and a funny thing where philosophers are fucking obnoxious and enjoy making their ideas hard to understand so jean baudrillard is a french philosopher who has a reputation for being complicated but in english and to an american, it’s pretty straightforward. a few paragraphs vs a full ass book is p good imo
the concise quote goes like this:
“Such would be the successive phases of the image: it is the reflection of a profound reality; it masks and denatures a profound reality; it masks the absence of a profound reality; it has no relation to any reality whatsoever; it is its own pure simulacrum.”
the “image” is a “representation of the real,” which will make sense in a second. i’m gonna explain it with a hypothetical hurricane. before we get to the image, there’s the lived experience. a real physical hurricane that had real physical impacts--homes destroyed, people displaced, damage, etc. then, there is the image of the real, the representation, a news story telling everyone that the hurricane happened. step two is the commentary on the story. “This Hurricane Has Profound Meaning For Our Weather Preparedness System” vs “Acts of God” vs “Climate Change!!!!” vs “Thoughts and prayers” --> the twitter threads and the thinkpieces and medium posts; the “takes” and the repurposing of a specific lived experience to fit a narrative. step three “no relation to reality” is the reactions to the commentary. the following twitter posts and blog entries, the outrage that someone could even react with thoughts and prayers or think about climate change in the face of personal grief on and on. third parties starting a war with third parties, failing to recognize that no one has been actually dealing with the hurricane this whole time. step four: masking the absence of a profound reality is when mentioning “the hurricane” has absolutely nothing to do with reality and is instead a dogwhistle of sorts. recovery progress? who cares? beside the point now. if the hurricane became a climate change debate, even mentioning whether you think hurricanes are a serious issue is now indicating a stance on climate change. the simulacrum, the fifth and final step, comes swiftly after. hurricanes have literally nothing to do with weather science or disaster preparedness or architectural requirements or the ocean or the state of the planet anymore, it becomes self-referential and self-contained. it doesn’t matter if real hurricanes exist or are happening to people alive right now, “hurricanes” are always REALLY about [x]. climate change itself is a simulacrum. it doesn’t matter that we can actively observe a new wildfire season or that my region didn’t have a fucking winter last year, doesn’t matter what the science says. what matters is that mentioning Hurricanes is declaring a side in an unrelated war. masks during the pandemic is a good practical example of this. for the vast majority of people in the US right now, masking has literally nothing to do with medical science, it’s a Stance On The World.
WALL-E is a shockingly good example of a complete simulacrum (which before i talk about this, it’s fucking gross to communicate apathy through fatness because fuck all the way off i will kill you well before i debate this). the premise of the movie is that all the humans on board the ship have forgotten why they’re there, where they came from, what they’re waiting for, everything about their history. all they know is a screen in front of their face that displays the algorithmically generated fad of the day, which they absolutely adhere to. but if you take even a second to think about their actual circumstances, fuckin none of it makes any goddamn sense. you’ve been stranded on a ship a long ass way from earth for 500 years, and still you’re Performing Capitalism? There is no money on that ship, they don’t even remember earth. there’s no reason to Buy stuff. there’s no competition or social comparison, they don’t have enough social contact with each other to judge each other for being off the fad. all of the real things that created consumerism, that created the ship, that created the structure of their very lives, none of it exists anymore. it certainly isn’t impacting a ship that hasn’t had contact with external beings in 500 fuckin years. it’s a simulacrum. the thing about simulacrums is they move fast, so not only are you disconnected from The Real, you’re moving at lightspeed. hence hyperreality
and what does this have to do with everything, everywhere, all at once? e v e r y t h i n g! if you’re 25 or under, you’ve probably spent half your life or more immersed in a hyperreality-- a hyperreality that exists to distract from the fact that the planet is dying amid about a million other social and political crises that you’re overly aware of because of the hyperreality-- as well as hopelessly aware that no one older than about 35 can even hope to understand the deluge. we are literally dealing with everything, everywhere, all at once. overloaded and terrified and struggling for any sense of meaning again. struggling to reattach ourselves to any sense of The Real
like joy/jobu is simultaneously bogged down with struggles her mother can’t hope to understand (sexuality directly in the film; a changing world implicitly) as well as a constant and overwhelming sense of Everything that could be happening to any variety of person at any time. her carrying capacity is shot, but still she’s expected to carry the burden of responsibility and experience. it’s too much, it’s all just too much. you could find yourself immersed in an entirely different world at any moment with no warning, with different expectations and different assumptions. a completely different understanding of reality that suddenly and without warning you must coexist with
it’s a profound film, one that attempts to undercut the totality of our hyperreality through pure empathy and confidence in the power of true connection. one that seems incredibly aware of the impact that completely untested tech had on probably two entire generations, and how it prevents us from relating to our elders and prevents our elders from relating to us. it’s amazing. and you truly can’t discount the spectacular nature of michelle yeoh
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Hello hope sorry I'm late for the fic writer ask I was busy this is Simon btw shhhh I'm secret now. I wanted to ask you all of them obviously but mostly numbers 37, 39, 41, and 42! if you remember obviously if not I am so sorry
hi friend :)
37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it?
oh this is an interesting question... maybe pecking order? it might be because it's the third fic in the series, or because guardiancest shippers are few and far between these days, or maybe even the vomiting tag lmao but for some reason it does not have nearly as much traction as the previous two fics, which is a shame, because i love it dearly! david going kind of completely unhinged as he tries to deal with any new feelings he may or may not be having... bro dealing with that the best way he knows how (not backing down At All)...
alternatively each heart touched but that's just my plug for everyone to go try cultist simulator, actually, i fuckin love that game. it's confusing and weird but it's FLAVORFUL and honestly that's all i want.
39. Is any aspect of your writing process inspired by other writers or people? If so, who?
OH YES. i see you, you little scamp, because now i am morally obligated to concede that my characterization of MANY characters is informed by the great fanfic writers that came before. you, for instance!! and geometrician's dualshock desertbloom is very informative of my bro characterization.
i am not super sure some of the other blogs i draw inspo from would appreciate the shout out so i'll keep that to myself, but know this: if you have written strilonde fanfiction or we have ever spoken in depth about the characters, i have probably drawn some measure of inspiration from your fics or the things we talked about, because that's how the creative spirit works!
i think that a lot of fandom in general is also often built upon the backs of old concepts and fanon. some of that has gotten torn down over time, like... god, specifically all i can think of is dave rn. like common fanon used to be that he was literally too cool for school and now it's generally accepted that actually that was a massive front and How Did Anyone Buy Into That. i think that maybe some of us have flipped a little too hard in the opposite direction and made dave like. Soft Baby-fied? but i feel that's also a very fandom thing to have happen lmao. oh to woobify your faves for fun and profit. no harm in it but i do think it's very interesting!
41. Link a fic that made you think, "Wow, I want to write like that."
you know i think the most recent experience i had like that is with your words destroyed my planet, explicitly because i want to be able to plot out and execute longfic like this person can. it's a cool fic!
42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?
i've gotten a few comments that have stuck with me! the one you sent me on discord made me CRY (in a good way no worries) but if we're talking purely public on ao3...
there was one comment interrogating the like. NATURE of david in my demonstuck series and how i explained it in the fic that was honestly SO interested and gave me a lot to think about.
also someone told me one of my fics made them jizz instantly or something like that which was SO FUNNY to me as an ace person who does not really write or read smut to be horny about it most of the time. why do i? i dont know. it's Interesting, i guess??? like yes!!! CHARACTERS!! smushing our barbie dolls together!!! YES!!! i am EMOTIONALLY TITILLATED
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!! LETS GO LETS GO LETS GO
HELL FUCKIN YEAH LETS GOOO
Meet Marisophy- an alien deep sea princess that has isolated herself from her people and her kingdom at the deepest, deepest part of her planet's oceans. This is due to both her strong developing powers as an empath, and the fact that her family is planning on using her as a sacrifice to the coming god that plans on destroying the universe in hopes of satiating her hunger. Instead, Marisophy ends up awakening as her planet's resident guardian magical girl in order to defend her home....and she fails! She ends up getting brainwashed and turned evil and used to fight against other magical girls in order to collect more and more for an army, only for them all eventually become consumed (well, that was the plan anyways) 💚 But hey! At least she's bioluminescent! After she's saved and freed from her brainwashed state, she chooses to stay on Earth (where of course, our heroes live) So she can learn more about Earth's marine biology...and once she's done here, she plans on moving on to other planets to learn more about their marine life!
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John Egbert, Dave Strider, Karkat Vantas, Vriska Serket
Act 6, page 7487-7492
JOHN: so tell me about your ridiculous meteor journey!
DAVE: um
JOHN: the dave from the bad time line told me some funny stories when we got together on the grassy hill planet
JOHN: but we weren't actually hanging out for that long, so i didn't hear much.
JOHN: also, i'm MOSTLY sure vriska wasn't alive during their trip.
DAVE: oh well let me tell you
DAVE: vriska was most certainly alive during this one
DAVE: like almost
DAVE: extra-alive, if thats possible
JOHN: haha.
JOHN: i think i know what you mean.
JOHN: i spent some time with her when she was a ghost, and uh...
JOHN: let's just say whatever her mortality status is, she makes her presence hard to ignore.
KARKAT: YES. YES!
KARKAT: I LOVE THIS.
KARKAT: CAN WE SPEND OUR WHOLE REMINISCENCE JUST DESTROYING VRISKA, SLIGHTLY ABOVE AUDIBLE LEVEL?
VRISKA: Slightly?
VRISKA: Karkat, you only have one volume setting.
KARKAT: WOW, FUCK YOU?!
DAVE: ok dude maybe lets not spend our paltime trash talking serket if only cus theres no way youre not getting repeatedly trounced exactly just like that
KARKAT: FFFFFFFFFFFFFYEAH.
KARKAT: YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
KARKAT: OK, I'LL CHILL OUT. YOU'RE RIGHT DAVE, AS USUAL.
JOHN: wow.
JOHN: karkat, for a funny shouty guy, you backed down on that really fast.
JOHN: i'm almost... a bit disappointed?
JOHN: i was looking forward to more of your patented ravings!
KARKAT: HEY, JOHN FUCKBERT, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I'M A LITTLE MORE MATURE AND REASONABLE THAN THE LAST TIME YOU SAW ME.
KARKAT: I'M A LOT MORE THAN MR. HOLLERSPONGE ONE-NOTE, AND ANYONE WHO DISPUTES THIS CAN CORDIALLY INVITE ME TO PLAY THEIR DIRTY SEED FLAP LIKE A DISCOUNT HARMONICA.
JOHN: oh. well, i'm sold.
KARKAT: SERIOUSLY THOUGH, IT'S PRETTY COOL TO FINALLY MEET YOU. I MEAN, UNDER MORE CIVIL, RATIONAL CIRCUMSTANCES.
KARKAT: UNLIKE WHATEVER THE *FUCK* THAT BRIEF ENCOUNTER WAS THREE YEARS AGO WHERE YOU KO'D VRISKA AND THEN POOFED YOUR FLIMSY ASS INTO THE FUCKALL CONTINUUM.
KARKAT: I KNOW I SEEMED REALLY MAD ABOUT THAT AT THE TIME, FOR WHATEVER REASON.
KARKAT: BUT REALLY, I'VE HAD SOOOOO MANY BORING HOURS ON THAT METEOR TO SPEND BARELY REFLECTING ON THE ROUGHLY TEN THOUSAND WAYS I DON'T GIVE THE SLIGHTEST FUCK ABOUT WHATEVER IDIOTIC TWIST OF FATE TRANSPIRED BACK THERE.
JOHN: heheh. ok?
KARKAT: I'M COMPLETELY OVER IT.
KARKAT: I'M OVER A LOT OF THINGS ACTUALLY.
JOHN: ... you are?
KARKAT: YEAH.
KARKAT: LIKE, REMEMBER BACK WHEN I WAS YELLING AT YOU ALL THE TIME FROM MY COMPUTER.
KARKAT: BACK THEN I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE FELT NERVOUS OR AWKWARD ABOUT THIS ENCOUNTER.
KARKAT: BECAUSE OF... WELL, YOU KNOW.
JOHN: no?
KARKAT: I WAS HITTING ON YOU BRIEFLY, AND IN A VERY CONFUSING NON-CHRONOLOGICAL WAY, WITHOUT EVEN QUITE REALIZING HOW BADLY I WAS SHOVING MY STRUT POD DOWN MY OWN STATEMENT TUNNEL.
DAVE: dude
KARKAT: I MEAN, UNTIL YOU MERCIFULLY AND WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF TACT SHUT ME DOWN.
KARKAT: DON'T YOU REMEMBER?
JOHN: uh...
JOHN: maybe?
KARKAT: HOW CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER THAT?
JOHN: i dunno, it was a long time ago!
JOHN: and we had a lot of ridiculous conversations...
KARKAT: OK, WELL MAYBE IT WAS A BIGGER DEAL FOR ME THAN IT WAS FOR YOU.
KARKAT: I MEAN, *OBVIOUSLY* IT WAS, THAT'S SORT OF THE WHOLE POINT.
KARKAT: BUT THE *REAL* POINT IS, OR THAT I WAS *TRYING* TO MAKE, IS THAT IT *ISN'T* A BIG DEAL ANY MORE.
KARKAT: BECAUSE I'M OVER IT!
DAVE: karkat what the fuck are you doing
KARKAT: WHAT!
KARKAT: I'M TALKING, QUITE CASUALLY, ABOUT SOME SHIT THAT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.
KARKAT: AND THE *POINT* IS THAT IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL ANYMORE, SO I'M JUST CASUALLY SAYING THAT! GOD.
DAVE: ok its not an unreasonable conversation to have but like
DAVE: we JUST started friend-jamming about past anecdotes to get us all up to speed or whatever
DAVE: and youre already trucking out these guns
KARKAT: GUNS? WHAT GUNS!
DAVE: just sayin, it doesnt sound that casual and no big deal if you keep saying its casual and no big deal oh and also its the first fuckin thing out of your mouth to john in three years
KARKAT: SORRY!
KARKAT: I'M SO TRULY FUCKING SORRY. I FORGOT THERE WAS SUCH AN OUTSTANDINGLY SMOOTH PILE OF SHIT IN A CAPE WITHIN MY JUDGMENT RADIUS!
JOHN: no, i mean, i think i remember.
JOHN: i think you were um, "black flirting" with me or something, but in backwards order, and while constantly yelling.
JOHN: and i didn't really even know what that was.
JOHN: and then i told you i wasn't a homosexual, so it was kind of a moot point, but also, you didn't even know what that was either?
KARKAT: YES!
KARKAT: THAT'S BASICALLY WHAT HAPPENED
KARKAT: AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS *TRYING* TO SAY I WAS OVER, AND WASN'T A BIG DEAL ANYMORE, BUT NOW IT'S A BIG DEAL AGAIN I GUESS?
KARKAT: THAT'S FUCKING GREAT! THANKS DAVE!
DAVE: yo im hardly one to talk here since i am a goddamn geyser of hilariously self-pulverizing freudian bloopers
DAVE: at this point i cant even pretend to keep a lid on any shit ive got in me cause i know sooner or later during one of my rad soliloquies ill just pratfall butt backwards into an embarrassing admission and i just have to be like yeah... yeah ok thats my shit thats what im about lets just get the fuck on with our lives
DAVE: so when johns like hey man and youre all locked and loaded with some stuff about how youre 'over him' and go on and on about it its like some way obvious protest-too-much shit and everybody knows it so i dont see how it salvages any of your dignity or whatever to pretend thats not whats happening
KARKAT: OH MY FUCKING GOD...
DAVE: so what im saying is if youre so eager to push this out there-
KARKAT: I'M NOT "PUSHING THIS OUT THERE"!
DAVE: if youre pushing this out there which you are then maybe we should rap about it
DAVE: i mean discuss it critically and earnestly not drop ill rhymes or anything tho that could be sweet too
KARKAT: UEHRNGH.
DAVE: so are you SURE you still dont have these unreconciled blackrom feelings about john
DAVE: i say we air this out before it ferments into some rank and hella unexamined feeling sauce
JOHN: dave, i think you're making karkat uncomfortable!
JOHN: are you being a wise guy and trying to make us uncomfortable?
DAVE: no!
DAVE: i dont do that to bros thats huge uncool
DAVE: i dont see what has to be uncomfy about chattin out our true ass thoughts and emotions
KARKAT: YEEUURHNGHGHH.
DAVE: dude you clearly had a spades thing for john but i dont recall you ever bringing it up
DAVE: is this something you been thinking about all this time or
KARKAT: NO!
KARKAT: NOT... NOT REALLY
DAVE: yeah we coulda talked about this
DAVE: i have all KINDS of shit to say about john seeing as he was my number 1 dude for approximately the majority of 13 years
DAVE: the main dead end here man is like, nothing personal at all its just that he is literally incapable of hating anyone
KARKAT: I KNOW THAT!
KARKAT: THAT IS THE *EXACT* FUCKING THING I KNEW AND UNDERSTOOD, AND WHY I FELT SO STUPID ABOUT IT IN HINDSIGHT!
JOHN: well...
JOHN: not that i really want to egg on this train of thought, but i dunno if that's quite true.
KARKAT: IT'S NOT?
JOHN: i can get really angry and hate stuff too, just like you. but i think only in extreme cases?
JOHN: the skull guy in suspenders i got REALLY pissed off at...
JOHN: but i am a hundred percent sure that hate was platonic!
DAVE: gettin pissed off at a suspender dude sounds like just the sort of yarn i wanna be all ears for some time
DAVE: but ok thats something to work with
DAVE: hey karkat maybe theres some hope yet maybe its not a total lost cause
KARKAT: NERGH!
JOHN: ok, dave, it definitely sounds like you're trying to own us now!
DAVE: own
DAVE: what
DAVE: no way
DAVE: im being real as a motherfucker
JOHN: being able to hate things i think is...
JOHN: the smaller part of that equation?
JOHN: what about the other part? don't you think that's, uh...
JOHN: a little more significant?
DAVE: what part
JOHN: the part about not being a homosexual!!!
DAVE: john
DAVE: dude i gotta say
DAVE: when you talk about being or not being "a homosexual" you kinda sound like a corny old man
JOHN: what! why?
JOHN: no, that's a normal way of putting it!
JOHN: i mean... it's a pretty normal thing to say, right? when that's... how... you are?
KARKAT: SOMEBODY FUCKING KILL ME.
DAVE: what does normal mean though
DAVE: normal was some crap that ruled our dead civilization
DAVE: we left that behind years ago
DAVE: its all a huge pile of shit that doesnt matter anymore
JOHN: oh. kay?
JOHN: so then, you're saying...
JOHN: what are you saying?
DAVE: im not sure i guess
JOHN: ...
DAVE: ok i guess what im saying is
DAVE: i dont think its all as simple as you think it is
DAVE: or maybe not like ACTIVELY think it is but continue to assume it is on account of NOT thinkin about it much
DAVE: due to a lot of junk about the subject that gets shoved into our brains from movies and stuff while we were just dumb kids
JOHN: i,
JOHN: hm.
DAVE: im just saying it probably isnt as absolute or simplistic as the way youve been framing it
DAVE: or maybe it is for you personally i dont know
DAVE: im just guessing you havent spent much time thinking about it if only cause all the stuff we read and watch suggests that like even examining your honest thoughts about it is perilous road to go down
DAVE: cause if you actually think too much about it without always having that undercurrent of haha nope nope nope THEN what happens
DAVE: what if it turns out youre like...
JOHN: ...like?
DAVE: like not exactly the way you thought you were
DAVE: or maybe not so much that, as old presumptions about what you were turn out to be not that relevant?
KARKAT: (WHY. WHY ARE THESE WORDS HAPPENING TO OUR CONVERSATION.)
DAVE: i dunno man
DAVE: not sure what youve been doing the last 3 years all riding a large boat, then saving everyone from apocalyptic whatever
DAVE: but ive had a fuck ton of time on my hands to think about stuff
DAVE: about stuff ive said and done in the past why i said and did them
DAVE: a lot of things i once would have insisted were like part of my brand and helped me come across cool and smartassy
DAVE: but now im not so sure
DAVE: we used rip on each other all the time for being gay even though we knew we werent which of course is what made it "funny" remember
JOHN: yeah.
JOHN: i dunno, it was pretty funny, sometimes.
JOHN: it was just a lot of joking around!
DAVE: yeah i know
DAVE: it frankly IS funny to say how gay something is sometimes and lets face it sometimes someone or something is just flat out REALLY fucking gay and theres no two ways about it
DAVE: its more like that through the preponderance of all that jokey shit is an underlying implication that its all lame stuff for pansies but not like us no were not lame and ha ha thats the joke
DAVE: which thrives on this like double-buried implication that the REAL COOL SHIT is founded on this absurd wanky ideal about masculinity which if you think about it is 1. dumb as fuck 2. the male adulation of masculinity to that extent TO BE HONEST is pretty fucking gay unto itself and 3. was always some totally impossible shit for us to live up to anyway
DAVE: i think all thats mixed up with the same phony ideals about heroism
DAVE: like living up to the storybook idea of what a hero to me feels almost interchangeable with living up to societys snapshot of what a hard manly dude should be
DAVE: i stopped pretending i could ever live up to either thing a while ago
DAVE: and mainly have spent time looking back on the sheer magnitude of all my "joking around"
DAVE: i used to lambaste fuckers left and right grinding them into the pavement over how gay they probably were and how much they were quite possibly jonesin to kiss some dudes or such
DAVE: and i dont really feel bad about it in the sense that it was jerky or like "insensitive" necessarily even though i guess it maybe was
DAVE: more that i feel like it was probably transparent
DAVE: a massive front of outrageous snark to disguise a lot of insecurity
DAVE: like a fuckin coverup
DAVE: as long as i kept clowning hard about it i didnt actually have to think about it or face my actual beliefs
JOHN: dave, um.
JOHN: all that's cool and all, and...
JOHN: i think i mostly agree?
JOHN: but...
JOHN: ummmm, how do i put this.
JOHN: are you...
JOHN: are you gay now?
DAVE: what no
KARKAT: (THE WORDS. WHY WON'T THE WORDS STOP. DEAR GOD.)
JOHN: i dunno, it sounds to me like you're trying tell me something here!
DAVE: man no look
JOHN: i mean, it's ok if you're gay now!
JOHN: that's totally cool, if true.
JOHN: i just think...
JOHN: you turning gay would be kind of a weird consequence of me changing the time line around?
JOHN: ok, not "weird"...
JOHN: just, unexpected!
JOHN: i dunno what i did that would account for that.
JOHN: maybe saving one of terezi's plush toys did some goofy homosexual butterfly effect thing on you?
JOHN: jeez, who knows!
DAVE: dude you arent listening
DAVE: although a gay butterfly effect is a pretty funny idea lets not dismiss that as a concept altogether
DAVE: anyway maybe what im tryin to say is sorta getting lost in the weeds here
DAVE: the fact that you were wondering if i "turned gay" makes me think maybe youre still not quite on the wavelength im tryin to ramble on here
DAVE: maybe we should wrestle this topic to the ground another time, theres a lot more id wanna say but this is probably not the venue
DAVE: i mean not literally wrestle to the ground because that is maybe literally the gayest course of action we could possibly take but you know what i mean
KARKAT: (YES! LATER! TALK LATER, BECAUSE THEN THE WORDS WOULD STOP! OH WOULDN'T THAT BE LOVELY.)
JOHN: that's fine, we can talk about anything you want, any time.
JOHN: i'm just still confused about what you're getting at, is all.
JOHN: like, what is the bottom line here?
JOHN: are you actually attracted to boys now?
JOHN: do you...
JOHN: um.
JOHN: did you...
JOHN: like, date any boys?
DAVE: uh
JOHN: but there weren't even that many boys on the meteor?
JOHN: well, there's the clown guy, but i don't really see you and him...
JOHN: that really only leaves...
JOHN: um, were you and karkat...
JOHN: ARE you and karkat, like.
JOHN: hmm.
KARKAT: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
KARKAT: I RETREAT TO MY SAFE PLACE, AND YET THE WORDS. THE STUPID FUCKING PRATTLE JOCKEYING LIKE ROWDY BARNBEASTS UP AGAINST THE PARTITIONS OF GOOD FUCKING SENSE AND THE MOST BASIC OF PERSONAL BOUNDARIES.
KARKAT: THE GOD DAMNED BLITHER OF TACTLESS NINCOMPOOPS, HOW IT CONTINUES TO HAUNT MY WRETCHED EARS. THE WORDS SPILL OVER THE SIDE OF THIS ENCHANTED METAL FROG DISCUS, LIKE A BABBLING SPRING IN A MYTHICAL FOREST GOVERNED BY A GUILD OF GOSSIP-HUNGRY LOBOTOMY HOBBITS. THIS DELUGE OF WORDS, LEAKED FROM THE INCONTINENT CREVICES OF TWO BRAINLESS GUSHING YAMMERTWATS, IT OVERFLOWETH, OH HOW IT OVERFLOWETH, SOGGING MY GRAY, PRACTICAL PAIR OF PANTS, THE LEGGINGS OF A SIMPLE MAN. A HUMBLE MAN. IT THEN CONTINUES ITS DOWNWARD TRICKLE, DOUSING MY UNREMARKABLE SHIRT, THE SERVICEABLE GARMENT OF YOUR AVERAGE ALTERNIAN "JOE", CHILLING THE FRAIL TORSO BENEATH, A PATHETIC DUFFEL OF MEAT WRACKED WITH HEAVY SOBS, SOBS CAUSED BY WORDS, WORDS WHICH CONTINUE TO DRIP. AND SLEUCE. AND SPILL. THREATENING TO DROWN ME. PLEDGING TO. PROMISING! AND YET I WILL NOT DROWN. WHY WON'T I DROWN? PLEASE LET ME DROWN. LET ME DROWN SO THE WORDS WILL BE NO MORE!
JOHN: dave, i'm pretty sure we're making karkat uncomfortable now.
DAVE: yeah maybe we should drop this
JOHN: ok.
DAVE: i dunno if you ever picked this up from him but hes a pretty sensitive guy
JOHN: what?? nooooo.
DAVE: its true
DAVE: hes pretty much the easiest dude to rip on and makes for an irresistible target but you also have to know where to draw the line
DAVE: really dont wanna actually you know like
DAVE: upset him
JOHN: yeah, me neither.
JOHN: um...
JOHN: what the fuck is he doing?
DAVE: man i dont know
DAVE: thats just his regular shit
DAVE: like, an every day occurrence but with different bodily positions and geographic configurations
JOHN: i see.
DAVE: bro will you get the fuck up here
KARKAT: NO!
DAVE: k suit yourself
DAVE: um anyway
DAVE: as you can see ive been spending probably way too much time with trolls
JOHN: ha ha.
DAVE: it messes with you
DAVE: gets you thinkin about... stuff
DAVE: you know?
JOHN: i can imagine.
JOHN: i think life was a lot more boring on the ship.
JOHN: but we talked about you all a lot!
JOHN: we would always wonder how you and rose were managing to get along with all those crazy trolls.
JOHN: i think mostly we pictured a lot of arguments.
DAVE: thats not too far off
JOHN: i'm still getting used to having such insane, limitless powers that let me go anywhere i want...
JOHN: it's tempting to go to time periods like yours and find out what i missed.
JOHN: but i don't want to mess with too much anymore, since it seems like i got the time line to a nice stable place as it is.
JOHN: so i guess i just have to do what any regular guy does, and imagine fondly what it would be like if i got to travel with you guys.
JOHN: i wonder if i would have gotten like... absorbed in troll culture too? or troll ways of thinking.
DAVE: its really inevitable
DAVE: you pick up the lingo they pick up yours
DAVE: its like a stupid cultural melange after a while that barely makes any sense from either frame of reference
JOHN: i wonder if i would have learned to understand black romance?
JOHN: it's such a goofy idea, but it seems pretty important to trolls.
DAVE: they take all their quadrants pretty seriously tbh
JOHN: yeah.
JOHN: years ago when we first met the trolls, i remember being pretty fascinated by all our cultural differences, when karkat and vriska were telling me about them.
JOHN: i remember really sincerely trying to understand it all from their point of view! it's hard though.
JOHN: i still think about the idea of black romance sometimes, and try to imagine how that really works... or "feels"... i don't know.
JOHN: do you understand it?
DAVE: yeah ive spent enough time talkin about it where i think i "get it" but
DAVE: ive never had cause or any real inclination to put it into practice or anything
JOHN: mainly the idea of hating somebody, and translating that into attraction, or some kind of romancey feeling... it feels so alien to me.
JOHN: and you're right, i have a really hard time even hating anyone in the first place!
DAVE: word
JOHN: i mean, i get ANNOYED by people, sure.
DAVE: like who
DAVE: me?
JOHN: no, not really.
JOHN: well, sometimes, but not much. i always tended to exaggerate my grievances with you, for the sake of laughs.
DAVE: heheh
JOHN: a better example is, more recently, when i was doing my retcon mission...
JOHN: i was getting REALLY annoyed with terezi and her mind games.
DAVE: yuuup
JOHN: it definitely never crossed the line to "hate" though, because we were working together to try and fix a dire situation, and even though she's weird and insane, she's otherwise a pretty good friend.
JOHN: but all her needling and japes at totally inappropriate times, when there was so much on the line...
JOHN: argh, it was SO FRUSTRATING.
KARKAT: EGBERT, I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU.
DAVE: whoa hes back!
DAVE: all right side up and everything
KARKAT: I HEARD YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT QUADRANTS, SO I DECIDED TO PAUSE MY TANTRUM.
KARKAT: JOHN, ALL YOU'RE DOING HERE IS DESCRIBING THE SUBTLE FEELINGS WHICH PLANT THE SEED FOR HAVING A CALIGINOUS CRUSH ON SOMEONE.
JOHN: what??
KARKAT: YOU HEARD ME.
KARKAT: YOU ARE NAIVELY ADMITTING TO STRUGGLING WITH SOME BLACK FEELINGS FOR TEREZI.
KARKAT: SO, THERE YOU GO. QUESTION ANSWERED.
KARKAT: TURNS OUT YOU ARE PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF BLACK ROMANCE.
JOHN: n... no!
KARKAT: A FAIR REBUTTAL. HOWEVER, CONSIDER THIS COUNTERPOINT:
KARKAT: Y... YES???
JOHN: but i don't HATE her, and i'm sure i never will!
JOHN: i'm just saying i find her, like, somewhat annoying, and REALLY aggravating a lot of the time, but that's it!
KARKAT: BUT THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THE FEELING IS!
KARKAT: IT DOESN'T START OUT AS FULL BLOWN ANTIPATHY, AND IT RARELY EVEN REACHES SUCH AN EXTREME LEVEL OF HOSTILITY EVEN OVER LONG TERM BLACK RELATIONSHIPS.
KARKAT: THERE ARE PEAKS TO IT, BUT OTHERWISE A GENERAL EBB AND FLOW TO THE DARK FEELINGS, JUST LIKE WITH FLUSHED RELATIONSHIPS.
JOHN: ok, but...
JOHN: i don't know if i'm expressing myself clearly.
JOHN: i felt aggravated by her a lot, but that doesn't fully describe...
JOHN: like, there were those "negative" feelings, but also...
JOHN: but...
KARKAT: YEAH, THAT'S IT, RIGHT THERE!!!
KARKAT: THE "BUT" IS ALWAYS PART OF IT.
KARKAT: WHAT YOU'RE *TRYING* TO SAY IS, YOU HAD FRUSTRATED, NEGATIVE EMOTIONS TOWARD HER, BUT THEY DON'T COMPREHENSIVELY ACCOUNT FOR YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARD HER.
KARKAT: MEANING, THERE ARE SOME THINGS ABOUT HER YOU ACTUALLY LIKE, BUT THE NEGATIVE FEELINGS MAKE IT HARD FOR YOU TO PUT YOUR FINGER ON THEM, OR EVEN WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE THEM.
KARKAT: THAT IS ABSOLUTELY STANDARD. WHAT GOOD WOULD IT BE HAVING A KISMESIS WHO DIDN'T POSSESS QUALITIES YOU ACTUALLY ADMIRED ON SOME LEVEL?
KARKAT: THAT WOULD BE BORING, AND IT WOULDN'T EVEN WORK. THERE'D BE NO TENSION, NO PUSH AND PULL IN THE TURBULENT EMOTIONAL LANDSCAPE. THE SUBTLE POSITIVES ADD FUEL TO THE NEGATIVE FEELINGS, OFTEN GIVING THEM A REASON TO EXIST AT ALL. THEY INFLAME THE AGGRAVATING FACTORS, REMINDING YOU DEEP DOWN HOW MUCH YOU WOULD LIKE AND ADMIRE THIS PERSON IF IT WASN'T FOR ALL THEIR INFURIATING FLAWS, AND THE INCREDIBLE SENSE OF FRUSTRATION THAT CAUSES ALONG WITH ALL THE ASSOCIATED HOT-HEADED FEELINGS, THAT'S THE ESSENCE OF BLACK ROMANCE.
KARKAT: AND THE POSITIVE QUALITIES YOU SEE DEEP DOWN IN A KISMESIS ALSO SERVE AS THE BASIS FOR RED FEELINGS TOWARD THAT PERSON, ASSUMING THE RELATIONSHIP EVER STARTS TO VACILLATE.
KARKAT: IT'S ALL PRETTY STRAIGHTFORWARD, REALLY.
JOHN: no... this is messed up!
DAVE: i dunno john it all sounds pretty logical to me
DAVE: karkat knows his shit when it comes to quadrants
JOHN: argh!
JOHN: it can't be true though...
JOHN: it feels so fucked up!
JOHN: what if you're right though... erg! no...
JOHN: no, no, no, no...
KARKAT: THAT'S PART OF IT TOO!
KARKAT: THE "NO NO NO" IS ALL PART OF THE FEELING. THAT'S HOW IT *ALWAYS* GOES.
KARKAT: THIS SENSE OF SELF INCRIMINATION WHEN IT'S DAWNING ON YOU THAT YOU HAVE THESE CONFLICTING FEELINGS TOWARD SOMEONE WHO BUGS YOU SO MUCH.
KARKAT: OH MY GOD, THIS WHOLE REACTION IS SO FUCKING TEXTBOOK. IT'S HILARIOUS, REALLY.
JOHN: it's fucked up though!!!
KARKAT: IT'S SUPPOSED TO FEEL FUCKED UP!
JOHN: aw, man. :(
JOHN: i just wanted to have a nice catch-up chat, not get so transparently owned at the trollmances.
DAVE: it happens to the best of us sooner or later
DAVE: this crap is kind of old hat to me by now but i get why youre kinda freckling at the implications here
DAVE: you didnt have years of livin with trolls to kinda normalize this stuff
JOHN: i don't think i want it to feel normalized though!
JOHN: i'm not ready to...
JOHN: like, admit that... i have some warped spade crush on her, based on...
JOHN: some feeling i don't understand and makes no sense to me!
JOHN: oh god... what if it's true??
JOHN: i have to try as hard as i can to suppress this feeling and make sure i never think about it again!
DAVE: ok sounds like a weenie thing to do but sure have fun with that
JOHN: fuck.
JOHN: yeah, probably.
JOHN: just...
JOHN: please don't tell her about any of this, ok guys?
KARKAT: JOHN, YOU DON'T HAVE TO REMIND US ABOUT ONE OF THE MOST FUNDAMENTAL STATUTES OF THE BRO CODE, WHICH IS PRACTICALLY FUCKING SCRIPTURE ON MY PLANET, DATING BACK HUNDREDS OF MILLENIA.
KARKAT: DAVE AND I FUCKING SLEEP AND BREATHE THE BRO CODE AND ALL OF ITS CLAUSES, NO MATTER HOW FINE THE PRINT.
KARKAT: FEEL FREE TO COME AND TALK TO US ABOUT THIS ANY TIME. YOUR SECRETS WILL ALWAYS BE SAFE.
DAVE: dude that sentiment is well and good but
DAVE: when youre pledging a vow of secrecy maybe you should try to keep it down a little
KARKAT: DAMN. YEAH.
KARKAT: SORRY.
JOHN: this is really confusing though.
JOHN: assuming you're right, and i am "busted" on having those feelings... and i'm not even saying you aren't.
JOHN: but...
JOHN: i thought humans weren't supposed to be able to feel stuff like that?
KARKAT: LIKE WHAT EXACTLY?
JOHN: like, perceive and feel romantic stuff, in the same way trolls do.
JOHN: because we're aliens to each other!
JOHN: well ok, humans can feel the gay stuff pretty often, i guess.
JOHN: i didn't think we could feel the spade stuff, though.
JOHN: i dunno, i just thought it was some screwy biological difference?
DAVE: nah i disagree
DAVE: both humans and trolls are emotionally versatile sentient beings that can feel many hells of different things
JOHN: you're probably right.
JOHN: you would know better than me, at least.
DAVE: thats always a smart fallback position btw
DAVE: especially on rap
DAVE: i could school you on rap too are you confused about rap
JOHN: no dave, i think i'm pretty squared away on rap.
JOHN: at least for now. :p
DAVE: so uh
DAVE: this has been a hell of a reminiscence so far
JOHN: yeah...
DAVE: seriously though i wasnt actually intending to fork this like instantaneously in the direction of some like
DAVE: legitimately sincere dialogue on fuckin sexuality and romance
DAVE: i didnt plan on this dude you gotta believe me
JOHN: i believe you!
JOHN: it's been cool though.
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: did we cover everything
JOHN: um...
JOHN: probably not?
JOHN: oh, right.
JOHN: you dated jade for a while, so there's that.
DAVE: whoa what
JOHN: i mean, dave sprite did.
DAVE: oh
JOHN: and of course i mean, the one from my time, obviously not the one from this time, who died i guess before that happened.
DAVE: right
JOHN: man, that still just seems... so sad.
JOHN: i guess even when you fix things, not everything can be perfect.
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: so
DAVE: howd that go
DAVE: me and jade
DAVE: or...
DAVE: him and jade
JOHN: ok, i guess.
JOHN: my sense was, it was kind of dramatic overall.
JOHN: i'm not sure it was the best relationship, probably because of dave sprite's uh...
JOHN: "unique issues".
DAVE: hmm
JOHN: but there were a lot of fun memories.
JOHN: i'll tell you about them some time. maybe when jade is awake, because i'm sure she'd want to know too!
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: hey
DAVE: um
JOHN: ?
DAVE: the girl you came with
DAVE: roses mom
JOHN: roxy?
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: whats she like
JOHN: she's nice!!!
JOHN: really nice.
JOHN: she is fun and easy to talk to...
JOHN: it almost feels like she has always been one of our friends, you know?
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: how uh
DAVE: how long have you and she actually been traveling together
JOHN: umm...
JOHN: not too long.
JOHN: we only met like a day ago, i mean, from my perspective.
DAVE: huh
JOHN: she's been through some really difficult stuff recently.
JOHN: well, we both have, actually.
JOHN: but i feel like it was all... a bit more personal for her?
JOHN: being on her adventure, then suddenly losing all her friends, and watching rose die right there, while she'd been kinda viewing rose as a version of her mom...
JOHN: i was just some goofball drifting randomly here and there between realities, so i was mostly just confused by everything.
JOHN: but for her, i could tell it was all really devastating.
JOHN: i'm so happy she gets to be with rose again!!!!!!!!!!
JOHN: not to mention all her other friends!
JOHN: for some reason i feel happier for her getting to reunite with people she lost than i do for myself.
DAVE: it sounds like you like her
JOHN: i do!
DAVE: no i mean
DAVE: actually like her
JOHN: oh.
JOHN: ... uh, hm.
JOHN: i don't know.
JOHN: maybe.
DAVE: wow dude after one day maybe you should slow your roll
JOHN: i didn't say i did though!!!
DAVE: im joking its fine who cares
JOHN: oh, ok.
DAVE: shes my mom isnt she
JOHN: man.
JOHN: i'm not sure if we should keep thinking about all our relations that way.
DAVE: why
JOHN: it's kinda weird!
DAVE: is it
JOHN: ...
DAVE: do you feel weird about dating my mom is that it
JOHN: i'm not dating her though!
DAVE: but if you did
DAVE: then you wouldnt wanna think of her like that because of like the familial weirdtimes it invokes
JOHN: jeez.
JOHN: i don't know. i...
JOHN: i don't know if i'm ready for every single "deep" conversation we can squeeze into this wacky rapid fire session of fun pal-talk!
DAVE: ok
DAVE: but
DAVE: i think i like thinking of her as my mom
DAVE: even if its a lil weird
JOHN: you do?
JOHN: why?
DAVE: not sure
DAVE: i never even stopped and thought about it before
DAVE: the idea of what it would be like to have a mom
DAVE: instead of a hyper-aggressive lunatic of an adult male guardian
DAVE: i never let myself give it a second of consideration
DAVE: but now
DAVE: seeing her actually here even though shes just some teen girl i never met
DAVE: i like the idea
DAVE: its nice
JOHN: ...
JOHN: ok, that's actually kind of cute.
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: yeah i guess it kind of fucking is
JOHN: alright, well.
JOHN: no matter what happens, it's ok with me if you want to think of her that way. :)
DAVE: sweet
#homestuck#john egbert#dave strider#karkat vantas#vriska serket#homestuck act 6#page 7487#page 7488#page 7489#page 7490#page 7491#page 7492#homestuck act 6 act 6#homestuck act 6 act 6 intermission 5
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There needs to be a slur for people who constantly and consistently go through the same mantra of “I hate white ppl” and are so fucking weird about it. Like. Ask one of these bitches to define white. “Has pale skin” nope, plenty of Arabs, Africans, Asians, and Oceanians with pale skin. Not to mention mixed-race and albino ppl. “European or of European descent” Plenty of people who are European and poc. Next. Nothing else? Really? Exactly what I thought. “People with says a certain amount of physical traits literally anyone can have” Alright now that’s just kinda fuckin stupid. Race doesn’t fucking exist you absolute cunts. Where does white stop and start? What color? What generation? What else. What else are you gonna hand the racists and fascists who are destroying our planet and society. Everything with this attitude. There is no such thing as white, there is no such thing as black, there is no such thing as race and the more people recognize this, the more we will win against the fascists that are choking us out. God. Solidarity or die.
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lmao the "bowl cut bean jeanist salmon boy" is voiced by Shigaraki's and Tsukishima's VA Uchiyama Kouki. when i found out, i flipped out lol i think Megumi is voiced by Uchida Yuma
no.......... no he’s not............ no i fuckin actually refuse that WHERE TF IS @undermattsun WAKE THE FUCK UP HOW WERE U WATCHING ME PICK SALMON BOY TO BE MY PREDICTED FAV AND NOT TELL ME HE’S VOICED BY KOUKI WHAT IN THE FUCK I’M RIOTING
nonnie I hope u know my life is in shambles now, the way I took one look at the jjk roster and pointed at that bowlcut diet jeanist and went ‘that’s the one I like’ for no other reason except vibes and ur looking me in the eye and telling me he’s voiced by my (2nd) fav VA I think I—
I gotta go
#urusai! baka#baka to jjk#i really truly honestly genuinely in any way shape or form handle that#i was gonna say if shig x undertaker lovechild was voiced by kouki or daichi i’d implode my body along with this planet we’re on#are u serious#are u serious serious this is ruinjng my lide#LIFEEEEE#KOOUKIIIIIOIII VOICING MY PRETTY BOWL CUT SALMON JEANIST FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFF#i owe u my life#by owe u my life I mean it’s over now#im d word#i— dont have words#i heard he speaks in sushi so thats at leats smth i can have that wont destroy me#unless it backfires and my pp gets hard every time i order sushi now#god FUCKIN THERES NO GOOD ENDING HERE#NO GOOD CONCLUSION WITHER WAY I DIE#MY VOICE KINK HAS HIT A RECORD HIGH#MY LIFELINE HAS HIT A RECORD LOW
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