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nonranghaes · 8 months

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heads up: reader struggling w friendships (feeling uninvolved + unheard)

felix hears the way you sigh as you come back into the room, and doesn't move quite yet. he knows you well enough. he listens as your footsteps draw nearer, and you pass in front of him as quickly as you can before throwing yourself onto the opposite end of the couch. it's enough to make him raise a brow--usually you'll sit next to him because you like being close to him--but he can't take his eyes off the tv screen quite yet.

"everything okay?" he says as he pulls one side of his headset back, and then he already hears changbin and jisung responding. "not--not you guys. hold on, i'll still be here--" he mutes his mic, and looks over to you. "babe?"

you curl in on yourself, frowning. "not really."

"you wanna talk about it?"

"you're busy--"

he shoves his headset down so it hangs around his neck. "i can multitask. once we're done with this, i'll stop, alright?"

you pout and he sees it from the corner of his eye. "i don't want to bother you."

"you aren't," he promises. "i'm listening."

"it's just... more of the same-old." you shift so you're a little closer to him. "feeling like some of my friends are closer with each other so i'm just kind of playing fifth wheel, platonically. other friends not listening to me when i speak meanwhile i feel like i file every little fact away..."

he's heard it before. he looks up, and he sees how upset you are, and he debates for a moment. he's going to play again with changbin and jisung this weekend... surely they can carry on without him? he pulls up his headset, unmutes, and says he's gotta go. all it takes is him mentioning your name for them to stop teasing him: felix wouldn't be ditching them if it weren't somewhat serious. he logs back out, and turns over, moving in to wrap his arms around you.

"hey." he smiles. "i love you. you wanna go out?" he says. "we can get dinner. talk more. maybe walk by the river?"

he knows you well: getting out helps. and walking by the river always helps you open up more. you peck his lips as you get up to find your shoes.

at least felix has your back when you need it the most.

#nonranghaes.thoughts #nonranghaes.skz #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader #stray kids imagines #stray kids imagine #lee felix x you #lee felix x reader #felix x you #felix x reader #you ever have friends who feel like theyre closer w /each other/#and you're just kinda... there?#yeah i left a friend thing tonight because i was tired of feeling like a fifth wheel #plus my other friend just kinda accidentally proved that she doesnt rly listen when i talk abt my interests #meanwhile i always try to engage her with her own and im like. oh right we had this problem before #and nothings changed bc i just deluded myself into thinking it did #i need a felix tbh i feel like he'd listen attentively to the ppl around him. chris too tbh.#very 'ur interests might not be my interests but i care about you so i'll listen'

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icewindandboringhorror · 1 year

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Just curious what the average level of personal investment in these sorts of things is. Like, how much do people usually get into silly stuff like this their friends ask of them? etc. etc. Which I know, only surveying a small sample on a very specific website means I'm not getting an exact average idea lol, but.. curious nonetheless .. Maybe reblog for bigger sample size but also this is not very serious at all/not worth a call to action gbhjbhjb

#which I know this could be context dependent like.. maybe you'd normally dress up but on a week that #you feel sick you wouldn't or etc. etc. - but I mean.. GENERALLY. in the most general average scenario #where you have the average amount of health and free time that you always do. etc. just based on your personality #and level of investment in these things - what on AVERAGE are you most inclined to do #also of course assume they communicate with you ahead of time and are not like planning a part last minute #like 'throw together costume in 5 hours and show up tonight randomly' or etc. I would hope that if we're going with the #AVERAGE of things - most people's friends have better communication skills than springing entire parties #on people last minute lol #assume you have like.. a few days-a week or so to prepare. however ealrly people usually start talking about #birthdays. In my experience it's usually one or two weeks ahead of time. Like 'oh next weekend' or 'oh two weeks from now' etc.#ANYWAY.. feeling a little Sick again of course but still trying to get some photos or something posted #AGAIN i promise I am not going to exlcusively post polls and ntohing else forever hgkjgnekj #I just really really love the ability to post polls and have always my whole life been obsessed with surveying people #I used to think I wanted to do that as a career somehow like.. be one of the people that does psychological interviews #or produce interview asessments for a company or etc. etc. I am always the one friend in the group thats giving out custom made #surveys or asking for other simialr stuff (did you ever take an mbti quiz? how about enneagra #m?? oh yeah I know they're not really scientifically valid or antyhing but like... DID you take them?? huh?? did you??please?? ghjj)#I simply cannot resist.. posting a little poll every once in a while.. as a treat #whilst I still fall behind on like actual content and costumes and stuff gbjhbjh #New poll adventure should be not as much of a wait as the last one was though since I already have the writing #for it really. I just have to do the ms paint sketch. hopefully no unexpected other health issues will get in the way #*** *** ***#< (anytime I do these three star patterns it is an ocd compulsion not me bleeping out words or something just ignore it lol)#(it means something secret in my evil brain just pretend you do not see it. significant only to me)#BUT YEAH.. ... poll... what type of costume party atendee are you?#:0c

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jadewritesficshere · 4 months

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Everyone is hanging out at a diner. You don't have to steal fries off of Steve's plate because when you aren't looking he puts some of his fries on yours. Steve watches you with a dopey grin the entire time, arm curled around your shoulder on the back of the booth. You share a milkshake even if dairy makes his stomach upset, because he thinks its a romantic thing to do. When it comes time to pay you two argue. You start pushing each other and wrestling to give the cashier the money (Robin pays and pushes you two outside). Steve ends up just wrapping you in a hug, kissing your forehead, and any false anger fades immediately.

#Thinking about HIM tonight #Did I just make Steve lactose intolerant...YEAH AND WHAT ABOUT IT #I love him and wanna kiss him #Just MWAH kiss kiss kiss #Also hi everyone I am sorry for not being consistent i have been sick </3 #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x you #steve harrington/reader #steve harrington/you #Jade is talking

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curioscurio · 10 months

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Went to a bar that seemed really lgbtq friendly and it ? ok it was lgbt friendly but they started doing CHURCH this Wednesday night. Like with worship and sermon and stuff. In the bar. Thanks for donating to lgbt charities we love woke church unfortunately I have a lot of religious trauma and it was absolutely hell to sit through it was hell it was hell it was hell

#the one time im like. yeah i need to go out and drink for a bit. lifes hard rn #the one time i venture outside my comfort zone . and they do CHURCH and start talking about the old testament and shit and trigger #all that delicious religous trauma . thanks. exactly what i needed tonight #anyway

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mokeonn · 1 month

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Before I go to sleep I leave you all with this piece of advice: sometimes you don't actually have to answer big political questions, sometimes you can just say "I am not smart enough to know that, I just know the small things I do to help." Like you can often times completely avoid making a fool of yourself if you just say you don't know.

#simon says #to explain here and not in a reblog:#sometimes when you try to explain big picture solutions you're gonna sound dumb #you might not have done enough research #you might not have a rebuttal to a counter argument #you might not be articulate enough to explain why you think this #sometimes you gotta take a step back and give the simple solution. the one man solution #you do what you can to fight against the problem #you talk to people to help spread awareness and how to fight the bad problem #and you vote and invite others to vote for bigger steps towards solving the problem #like you can talk about theory and how you believe we need to do a huge drastic thing to solve and issue #but people will disagree and argue til you're blue in the face #they'll poke and prod until you mess up or lose your temper and use it against you #and you'll feel dumb and they'll learn nothing #sometimes the best thing to do is step away from the big picture and just say 'idk what the solution is I just know the things I can do“#sometimes you gotta admit you're not a scientist/expert and you can't answer that #i used this while talking with my Dad tonight #he brought up our climate crisis and space travel as a possible solution #and I said I think that's just addressing the symptom and not the cause and we need to care for our Earth now #and he asked me what solutions I think would fix it #and knowing my incredibly smart Dad who is articulate and ready to throw rebuttles at a moments notice to play devils advocate #and my past experience in struggling in this topic with him before #i just told him I didn't know. all i knew is the little things I can and do do to help #and that hopefully by spreading the word and habits and encouraging others to vote for those bigger solutions I could help make a change #but all I really could do is the little things I have control over #and the topic became much less stressful about the little things we have control over #like planting native plants and recycling and adopting habits that are healthier to our planet #which was 100% more preferable to if I tried to give a big solution. because I would reveal i didn't have all the knowledge needed to argue #and my articulation would make me sound like a stupid kid who only thinks they know what's best #so yeah I basically suggest that if you dont wanna feel like shit after debating someone just step away from the big picture for a moment

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oifaaa · 7 months

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Bruce should kill the Joker because he created the Joker. Batman is the one that chased him into ace chemicals which resulted in him falling into the acid and the Joker is obsessed with Batman. We’ve seen (at least in one DC movie) that the Joker just stops being the Joker when Bruce dies. Could this all have happened without Batman? Yes and then it would be someone else’s problem but right now Joker is a monster of Batman’s creation and he should be the one to end him.

On your same logic should it also be on Joker's parents since they also created him, or maybe on the government / social systems since they were the ones that failed joker to begin with and made him turn to a life of crime ? If anyone has the legal right in America to kill the joker it would be the criminal justice system so why dont they sentence joker to death? Bruce hands joker off to the local authorities every other week shouldnt it be their responsibility at that point to keep joker incarcerated until he can be deemed no longer a threat to himself and others? And just bc one dc movie said joker would stop after Bruce dies doesn't mean that always happens especially with how dc keeps insisting there are multiple jokers- does Bruce have to kill all the jokers or just the one he personally spooked off the side of a platform by accident? I don't totally think you can blame Bruce for joker being as insane as he is since harley took the same dip and she still redeemable, and I don't think it should be on Bruce to compromise his morals just to kill a clown that literally several other people can kill - and I know " "ohh but Bruce gets in the way" then don't tell batman about it don't invite batman to your execution of the joker don't let him find out when Bruce's no kill rule is at its maximum (bc writers can't decide how extreme it should be) he can't let anyone die if he knows about it so just be sneaky and don't let him know

#ask #anon #i think its funny that people also are ignoring #bruce himself in this argument #bc bruce says constantly #if i kill one person i will not be able to stop #hes literally like someone who knows they have an addictive personality #refusing alcohol at a party and everyone keeps saying nah but this one drink its only one drink and you made the drink the drink deserves i #are you all prepared for the batman you get after he kills i guess is what im asking #anyway bc of a certain someone i really wanna draw some werewolf jason again #so might do that tonight #well see #but yeah genuinely been enjoying reading everyones opinion on the matter #so far i dont think any have changed my mind #just nice seeing everyone talk about it too

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justalittlebluetiefling · 23 days

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In non-boop related life updates, I have fully finished an outline for a book and have actually written 3400 words in a first draft and that is a huge deal for me, because I've never gotten this far with original fiction before.

#i'm actually very proud of myself #my goal is to finish a first draft #i don't really care what happens after that i just don't want to be one of those people that is always talking about writing a book #and never doing it #so yeah #that's what i've been up to so far this year #also i'm trying sock curls tonight for the first time and i'm sure it'll be a disaster but here's to trying new stuff

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shima-draws · 6 months

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THINKING about maybe drawing tonight if my back lets me. Send me some doodle requests ;) Can be of AUs, ships, OCs, whatever!

#Shima speaks #I GOT the dry needling done today. Will talk about that in a different post lol #But yeah it definitely helped. I might be able to sit down and do some art for a little bit #Just warmup stuff. I want to try and work on some comms tonight

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cinna-bunnie · 23 days

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thinking about older women

#hey auntie 👉🏾👈🏾#some of them b dancing on that line and i am looking respectfully (⁠´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠`⁠) ♡⁠#many such cases... giggling at how often w how many ppl aksjak family friends.. or it be ur own family 💀💕#someone's mom would joke about snatching me up like 😭😶‍🌫️ ma'am first of all .. would #and the touchy prima (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠) ♡⁠ yes please put ur hands on me i am so comfortable with physical contact (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠) let me hold ur hand ♡#🚶🏾‍♀️ being hot is nice sometimes #the forbidden fruit... hey tía (⁠´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠`⁠) 👉🏾👈🏾💕#some of the exchanges I've had were so 😵‍💫😵‍💫 ma'am.. i got a lil crush on u.#← not my actual family. i do not have one. engaging in one from this perspective is a lil different yfm 🚶🏾‍♀️u don't have to get it #or maybe u do idk im zooted rn and feeling rly gay abt aunties and older women in general okay 😩💕#i need to go sweet talk someone's tía i know she's looking beautiful tonight 🚶🏾‍♀️ i see u girl. i love ur hair your nails are beautiful #i love your color coordination you have such good fashion sense (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠) ♡⁠#ur earrings are so pretty i love your necklace i love your bracelets (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) lemme go help y'all cook or I'll make the drinks whateve #let's talk.. ♡⁠#Lupe... what are you up to these days 😩💕 my favorite. a family friend #i kinda see family friends as family too sorta bc my fam was p small when i did have one so a friend would be a basically auntie #but also not.. technically. so ╮⁠(⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠╭ idk. they r tías 2 me though and i love them.#they r so nicey 2 me ｡⁠:ﾟ⁠(⁠;⁠´⁠∩⁠`⁠;⁠)ﾟ⁠:⁠｡ ♡⁠#she wanted me to say her name n talk to her in Spanish a lil bit and she ate it up 😵‍💫 (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) ♡⁠ she loved the way i say her name #i had such a crush on her omfg. low-key but not but yeah but respectfully..

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hella1975 · 3 months

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we may have lost another one to the bisexual hotgirl and straight loserboy agenda but trust i am fighting it comrades 🫡

#IM TRYINGGGGG. the fuck of it all is that we've been going on dates on and off for WEEKS now #and i said to him at the start im not looking for anything serious and there's a chance he might be mugging himself off #bc i am just NOT emotionally available and low and behold we were at the pub the other night and wound up having a pretty #serious talk about how ive really liked getting closer to him and i genuinely enjoy our time together but i just cant see anything #serious coming of it NOT BC OF HIM BC GENUINELY I FEEL LIKE IVE MET MY MATCH WITH THIS BOY #NO ONE IRL CAN BANTER WITH ME LIKE HE CAN AND THAT IS SUCHHH A CRUCIAL BOX TO TICK WITH ME #but i just dont think im mentally or emotionally in the place for a relationship and i dont like him ENOUGH to fight for it #like it's been v illuminating v much that 'you never realise just how mentally ill you are until you try persuing a romantic relationship'#bc DAMN. i feel insane like why cant i just be normal about things and enjoy nice things and people in my life #BUT despite me saying all this to him and TRYING NOT TO BE THE ASSHOLE he has fully admitted that he likes me SO MUCH #that he'd like to keep going on dates and stuff regardless of the end result. like he genuinely just likes my company #and will take it in any capacity he can get he literally SAID that he's whipped for me 😭#and im like HOW DO I WIN HERE. IF I TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT IM AN ASSHOLE BUT CUTTING HIM OFF ISNT FAIR EITHER #AND I LIKE OUR LITTLE DATES AND BEING SPOILED AND HAVING SOMEONE BE A LITTLE OBSESSED WITH ME #SORRY IF THAT MAKES ME A BAD GUY. GOD FORBID WOMEN DO ANYTHING #ughhhhhhh. so yeah we're going on another date tonight. shoot me i dont care!!!!#hella goes to uni

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lyxchen · 4 months

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When you feel weird saying your favorite actors name out loud when talking to your parents or friends because it feels like it's going to reveal how deeply obsessed you actually are

#oh how often i have said to my parents #'it's a movie with that actor i like'#because i am afraid if i say 'david tennant' i will also add 'the prettiest most gorgeous funniest guy who is so lovely and if i met him i #would probably hyperventilate and i think about him probably too much because he's just an actor but also Look At Him!!'#you know #normal fangirl stuff #i have a theory that this is either some sort of weird ocd thing deep inside of me like how for a few months i was very afraid that people #could hear my thoughts and so i never allowed myself to think strange or very personal things with many people around #or this is because other people have made me feel like i can't talk about my interests because they're so intense that they find them #annoying #or it's because i don't want my parents to think i have a crush on him because i don't and also i'm gay so like no crush potential this is #completely different emotion which i can't explain especially not my parents so i'd rather they not find out how cool i think he is #but also they probaly know because they got me 10th doctor merch for christmas without me even asking for it and my mom also said that #she noticed that he's my favorite actor which is fine it's toatally fine i'm so cool about this #any so yeah anyways #didn't think i'd analize myself that much tonight but here we are #david tennant you have to honor of recieving the title of 'that one actor i like' which is much more important than it might sound #good night #lea's random thoughts

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hangmanssunnies · 1 year

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Maybe 8 and 14?🥺👉🏻👈🏻

8. mumbling unintelligibly into the embrace & 14. cuddles after being touch-starved

Hangman could only remember three things while Marlee drove him home from the bar. She peeled them off the ground and bet Coyote a whole piece of chocolate fudge that he couldn't get in the car by himself. Hangman only giggled a little bit when Coyote jumped up so fast he nearly fell face-first into Marlee's lap through her open window to kiss her. Coyote would have kept trying to kiss his wife, too, if Jake hadn't helped pull him from half hanging out of the car. Then, Marlee made Javy sit in the back so he wouldn't get handsy with Seresin in the vehicle. A statement that made Hangman roar with laughter, and he almost forgot his list. Loosening his watch band a notch, Jake repeats his list.

Lock the doors.

Three doors, six locks. The front: one deadbolt that turns to the left, but a handle walk that locks to the right. Hangman shakes the reminder he needs to switch the locks to match away from his head. He knows if he doesn't finish the list, he will lose it in the wild and random whims of his brain. The garage door had a handle lock that locked to the left and a chain that slides into place but has to be pushed down to notch into place. Then finally, the back door, it was easy a deadbolt that locked towards the right and a bar behind the door.

2. Drink one bottle; take a bottle.

His tired and true hangover prevention method. When Hangman layered in water and then did a DOTO routine, he would wake up feeling better than ever. A hack that had gifted him the last six years hangover free. (Paired with generally drinking less) The nights he would remember to take his lemon mint-infused water, Jake would sometimes wake up the next morning and actually run an extra mile. There was something about the high a good night out and social interaction would fill his battery to 100%. It was an easy high to chase, one Seresin would often find himself chasing before he understood how to balance out. Too many nights of people, fun, and drinks were bad for his health; On the flip staying at home and not doing anything but reading the Stormlight Archives and work burned Jake out too. With age, Jake had gotten better at finding and living in the middle ground, doing his best to moderate the highs and lows. Nowadays, it was easier than ever, hardly more than the occasional consideration because Jake had you. And you had changed everything for him.

3. do NOT kiss Sugar goodnight.

Jake repeated that one six times more than the others. He was the most worried about forgetting it. It was his personal mantra for the night. Jake had even accidentally blurted it out to Javy and Marlee instead of actually saying goodnight. Coyote removed his lips from Marlee's neck and stared at Jake for 30 straight seconds before doubling over with laughter, disappearing in the back seat once more out of eyesight. Marlee had smiled wolfishly before wishing him "good luck with his sugar." Jake didn't know why he could possibly need good luck to complete his list.

The first two tasks were simple. Once Jake was in the dim light of the house, he locked the doors in left, right, left, slide, down, notch, right, kick. Then Jake got his water and made it all the way up the stairs. Unfortunately, the stairs are where his plan falls apart. Jake wryly thinks it seems that they often are for him. Maybe he should be more conscious of the puzzle curses he lets in his home.

You left your door open, and he could see you half awake, half asleep. You have something playing, and Jake is drawn to your doorway. All you have to give him is a half smile and a wave. It's always easy for you to activate the homing signal in his chest, then pull on the magnet there right to your side. Right where Jake knows he belongs.

'Do NOT kiss her goodnight,' Jake reminds himself again. However, his mouth does sometimes seem to have a mind of its own. His lips graze your pulse point of the hand you stretched out for him. Just that small touch is enough to set him on fire. If he ever allows himself more, Jake isn't confident he would be able to stop himself from not trying to fuse himself to you. He was content to be some barnacle to your life. Jake somehow finds the strength to pull away, but then you shock him by pulling him close.

There is no option but to melt into your embrace as you hold him. You are half-mumbling questions about how his night went. None of them really make sense, but Jake doesn't mind. The longer he is there, the more Jake's own eyes start to drift closed. Before he is too consumed, Jake nudges you into a more comfortable position.

He runs through his list again, checking them off in his head. Then he gets to the last one, and half whispers it to himself.

"Kiss goodnight," Jake says, nodding his head slowly.

Then he hears you hum in acknowledgment. You tilt your face from where you've pressed it into his shoulder, and Jake does the same to get a better look at you. Your lips brush his, once, then twice. It's a movement that's more sleep thanconscious. It's not even a thought to follow your mouth for one more small lingering touch.

Jake doesn't process what's happened until he is already past the precipice of sleep. And at that point, he can't tell if it was a dream. Or if that third item on his to-do list really was to get some sugar from his sugar.

#we all love touch starved Jake #Are all of these going to be in Jake's POV #yeah Prob #I'm just on something about it tonight #I love him so much #he is soft #Thank you for the ask <3 #Do i want to talk about niche puzzle curses forever?#yes yes I do #but also I know other people don't need to know about curses #bc anxiety #I'm actually low key obsessed with this #hope you like the drabble #I know it's .... different #jake seresin x reader #House We Share

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ghostdrinkssoup · 2 years

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hi hello tumblr dot com, can we unpack will and hannibal’s character introductions?

trick question and I don’t care: we’re unpacking this whether you like it or not <3

for the people who wanted to be tagged here you are: @forgivenessishisdesign @kitzual

so anyway last night I rewatched apéritif and now that I know how the series ends a lot of small details stuck out to me. there’s so much content to pick apart that I’m actually losing my mind a little so I’m gonna divide my thoughts into two parts because this is going to be long. first we’ll do will’s introduction, then in the next post I’ll write about hannibal’s

EDIT: you can find part two (hannibal’s introduction) here :)

with that being said, let’s get started

will:

as far as character introductions go, will’s is so perfect to me that I need to dedicate some time just to infodump about it. let it be known that I am obsessed with this scene. there is so much packed into literally only four or so minutes and it’s glorious

funnily enough it’s pretty simple: the scene opens with a flashback. will is depicted recreating a crime scene using his empathy disorder (although audiences are not aware of his empathy yet) and ends with him returning to the present, where he’s lecturing his students about psychoanalysing serial killers, using the case as an example. that’s it. but the scene does everything it needs to do

an effective opening should tell you:

1) the rules/qualities of the world (which can either be exceedingly normal or very bizarre depending on the nature of the story’s subtext and extended metaphor)

2) the protagonist’s worldview, thus foreshadowing the nature of their arc

3) depict theme and raise thematic questions

4) and set-up the climax of the story, which should ideally mirror the opening so that we’re left with a circular narrative

by opening with will’s empathy we are immediately shown that this is a normal part of the story-world even if it’s fantastical by nature. it’s something will can do and that’s just how it is. it’s important that this is the first thing we see because his empathy serves a plot, character, thematic, and genre purpose. it’s a device, as well as an integral part of the show’s subtext and extended metaphor. it automatically puts him on an axis between empathy and psychopathy, or rather, humanity and monstrosity. even before we’re introduced to hannibal himself this is clear through a study of visual contrasts, since in the same instance we’re introduced to the concept of “empathy”, will is taking on the role of the killer, coldly explaining how he murdered the victims bleeding out at his feet. this is the first murder we see in the show, meaning, by proxy, will is the first “killer” we see as well, even if he’s just recreating the scene. we never see who killed mrs marlow, and so the only impression we have of this killer is will’s face. this sets up the structure of s1, since each murder reveals more about will himself, but I digress

and sure, the precision of his empathy is exaggerated and unrealistic, but we believe it a) because it’s the first thing we learn about him and is an unquestionable part of the story-world and its logic and b) because it adheres to its genre (crime/gothic horror). the gothic horror aspect in particular justifies the phantasmagoric, almost supernatural nature of will’s empathy, as well as it’s visual aesthetic (it’s represented through a hypnotic, pendulum type swinging motion). the gothic deals with topics of transgression, the unnatural or unexplainable, and most importantly the unknown. even if the show’s gothic elements aren’t exactly clear yet, the opening certainly maintains this tone. it’s why when the show moves away from the standard crime procedural structure, it’s not exactly jarring or beyond audience expectations (even unconscious ones)

but in all honesty, what really stands out about this scene is what will tells his students after. there are five elements fixed into the few lines he says (which I’ve highlighted below) and it’s all that’s needed to tie the scene back to theme and the show’s main through line

the first thing will says after he’s finished recreating the crime scene, returning to the present and leaving the killer’s mind, is “everyone has thought about killing someone, one way or another.” if the initial flashback worked to place empathy and psychopathy on a conceptual axis, paradoxically blurring the line by contrasting what we know about will vs what we see of will, then the above dialogue blurs everything even further. according to will’s worldview he, and as a result normal people in general, all think monstrous things. therefore, we all have the capacity to understand monsters

to will, humanity is not divorced from monstrosity

this is immediately followed by “be it your hand or the hand of god” introducing a new dimension for us to work with: man vs monster vs god. this gives his initial worldview a righteous edge. here we have a character who understands humanity’s capacity for violent thought, but it’s rendered through a type of divine justice. for him, there must be reason and meaning behind violence. better still, he would prefer it to be righteous. this of course sets up much of his dynamic with hannibal. they talk about religion a lot in the show. lines that immediately come to mind are “killing must feel good to god, he does it all the time” “is this meal an act of god, will?” “did god feel good about that? (violence)” “he felt powerful” etc. I think there’s also something to be said about how by thematically juxtaposing humanity with god, the concept of fate and free will also becomes implicit. we all think about killing, sometimes we choose to do it ourselves and sometimes god does it for us. who has power here? when does it stop being righteous? can one take on the role of god when killing? and if one does take on the role of god, would all blame be erased?

after this is: “now think about killing mrs marlow. why did she deserve this?” now we’re directly tying will’s dialogue to the flashback. to will, the death must have meaning. not only that, but for the perpetrator this must be righteous in some way. why did she deserve it? this line also adheres to the show’s genre and its conventions: this is a crime show, which means we’re exploring justice and injustice. again, thematic opposites. but, as he’s done the entire time he’s been on screen so far, will keeps blurring the line between these distinctions

he then says “tell me your design” which, as we all know, is a significant motif in the show. he says this all the damn time, after every murder. again, this brings forth the idea that the murders must have some kind of deeper meaning, psychological or perhaps even creatively. after all, “design” is an interesting way to phrase this. it sounds artistic, purposeful, imbued with meaning. however, the exact meaning of this is only cemented when he follows it with “tell me who you are”

“tell me who you are” is arguably the most important part of this entire sequence because, first and foremost, this show is about identity, specifically will’s identity. he recontextualises everything he just said in that moment, as well as the flashback we watched moments earlier. the design, the intent, the act of murder, and whether it’s divine or monstrous or purely human, is all linked to one’s identity. by understanding the murder, we understand the man. further still, there lies hidden commentary on one’s moral choices, as well as how autonomy fuels self-empowerment: we will understand who will is once he makes a choice to secure his own autonomy and power, which he does in the wrath of the lamb

it’s why he struggles to make solid choices all throughout the show, and why the specific choices he makes are so important, because whatever he authentically chooses to do will reveal who he is, no matter how hard he tries to hide from himself. he chooses to kill hobbs. he chooses to warn hannibal and gets his stomach split open in the process. if he hadn’t been so indecisive, he would’ve chosen to run away with hannibal too. he chooses to follow him to italy. and finally, he chooses to break him out of prison. because ultimately, once cannot change their nature. you cannot reduce him to a set of influences. he’s not a product of anything. he has his own design

and in hindsight, the questions raised here concerning will’s nature is resolved the moment he chooses to take hannibal down with him. the ambiguity of the resolution recalls the conflict between fate and free will, justice and injustice, and humanity and monstrosity (as set up in the opening scene) since although will actively chooses to drag them down the cliff, and as a result chooses loving hannibal over everything else, something he can’t really control anyway, he simultaneously leaves their fate up to god. it’s an act of faith. in that moment, when will finally seizes power and recognises who he is, accepting hannibal as his natural equal, his hand becomes the hand of god. in a final coin toss, will puts their lives in his own hands, and hannibal lets him do it anyway

#apéritif my beloved #listen I know the fall can be interpreted however you want #but I really really love the metaphorical approach #literal fall from grace AND the coin toss like AAAA IT LINKS BACK TO THE OPENING #all this finding empowerment through choice while paradoxically being unable to choose who you fall in love with (a loss of control)#really does speak to its queer themes too #like I’m sorry but this show is so queer dudes it’s not even coded it’s just there #I know cishet people probably don’t see it as clearly but it’s so obvious to me #anyway #I have more thoughts but this was getting wayyyy too long so we’ll talk about hannibal another time #probably tonight tbh NSBSHDH #I added pictures to this one just for fun <3 #my meta is evolving #but yeah I love will graham man he’s such a great character #hannibal #nbc hannibal #will graham #hannigram #hannibal meta #ghost speaks

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