#was trying to decide on which pic to use for this but just went . fuck it and ran

[baptismbaby]

✩ LIKE A DOG WITH A BIRD AT YOUR DOOR PT. 2

toxic!ellie x toxic! reader warnings: EVEN MORE ANGST. spontaneous smut but it's depressing honestly. super short because it's just a follow up. no one is happy song to listen to: waiting room by phoebe bridgers creds to elliesgalaxy on pinterest for ellie pic wc: 2.8k<3 part one

It’s been a week since you’ve broken up with Ellie. The first couple of days, she was calling and texting you but you ignored them. Dina sent a few to let you know she was there for you. You were slowly rotting away in bed, only getting up to use the bathroom. You haven’t showered since the day after. You were gonna go to your class but decided against it and haven’t shown up to any of them. You emailed your professor to let him know you “caught a bug” and if he could send you what he went over and the homework for it. You were finally caught up which meant you could sleep again. You had put Ellie’s t-shirt over a bear and would cuddle with it all day and night. 

You found yourself picking up your phone to see if Ellie texted you. You kept reading what she sent you: “I fucked up. Please talk to me. I just want to see your sweet face again. Please give me a chance to fix this.”

You felt stupid. You wanted to forgive her so bad, it was eating at you. You hated being away from her and you knew you’d love her no matter what. No one else could make you happy like she made you but you didn’t want to worry about her cheating again. You would go crazy.

As you read the texts over and over again, something told you to get out of bed and get yourself cleaned up. Take a walk, get fresh air, finally eat something so you don’t feel so sick all the time. You raised up and sat at the edge of your bed, fighting with yourself over what you should do. You counted down from five and stood up, your heavy feet carrying you to the bathroom. You discarded your clothes and turned the water on to cold. You stepped in, cursing under your breath and warming it up slightly. You started to feel slightly better as you shampooed your hair. You washed the grit off your body and stepped out, too lazy to use conditioner. You took out your hair dryer and stepped in front of the mirror, a sigh escaping your lips. You still looked dirty. You had dark circles and your eyes were red from crying. Your face even looked swollen. You have never looked this bad in your life. You were going insane without Ellie.

You shoved on some sweatpants, a hoodie and converse and made your way to the door. You stepped out and looked around, the hallway eerily quiet. Almost everyone was either in a class or out doing something with friends. You started to walk with no idea where you were going. The closest exit was to the left of you and yet you continued onto the opposite side. You slowed to a stop, your stomach aching as you turned to face a door. Ellie’s door.

“What the fuck am I doing?” you mumbled. You shrugged it off as muscle memory. You never went this way unless you were going to Ellie’s dorm. You sighed loudly, trying to internally convince yourself to leave. But your body refused to move. You felt stiff. You heard something fall in her room, making you jump. You were about to leave when the door opened. Ellie stood there, her mouth open and her eyes puffy. 

“It is you,” she whispered, her voice deep from exhaustion. 

You were frozen. You had no idea what to say. You didn’t even plan on seeing her and yet you couldn’t force yourself to go. She looked as awful as you did.

“Come in,” she said, stepping aside. Without hesitating, you walked inside and stood there. The clothes she took from your room looked as if Ellie threw them on the floor. Ellie walked past you and sat down on her bed, staring into space. You inched forward, slowly sitting down next to her but keeping a safe distance. It felt weird being in the same room as Ellie.

“So,” Ellie breathed. “How’ve you been?”

“Not good,” you uttered.

“Me neither.”

You started to bounce your knee. You were anxious, afraid to speak in case you broke down or started yelling at her. You definitely couldn’t handle an argument right now.

“I didn’t mean to come here,” you admitted.

“That’s fine.”

“I was going to take a walk outside.”

“That sounds nice.”

You glanced up at Ellie and made eye contact. You could tell she was mentally beating herself up. She looked so tired, hurt, guilty. 

“I took a shower today.”

Ellie tried to smile but it looked more like a grimace. “That’s good. I need one. It’s been two days.”

“I went a week without one.”

“Oh. You never skip a shower.”

“No, I don’t.”

This was too awkward. You needed to say something to break the ice. You felt since you were already here, you should talk to her about everything that happened.

“You haven’t spoken to Lila, right?”

Ellie shook her head. “Absolutely not. Dina got her kicked out.”

Before you could ask how, you suddenly remembered. Jesse was one of the resident assistants. You couldn’t wait to call Dina and thank her. You were scared you’d run into Lila somehow.

“I blocked her on everything and deleted her number. I even told her off,” she continued.

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, I know.”

You inhaled deeply and shifted, trying not to let any tears fall when a question popped into your head that you were unsure if you wanted the answer to.

“Can you tell me why?” you asked.

Ellie sighed and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “I’m not sure if I know. It was a mistake.”

“But you do know, Ellie. I’m not stupid. I know you like the back of my hand. You can be irrational sometimes but you never do anything unless you’ve thought it through. Be honest because there’s not gonna be another chance of us talking about this.”

“Why can’t you accept that this was one of those irrational moments then?”

“Because that’s not enough!” you shouted. You groaned and rubbed your temples, trying hard to calm down. But it wasn’t working. Before you knew it, the tears started to fall and they wouldn’t stop.

“I-I need to understand why,” you sobbed. “I don’t understand and I want to. You’re all I-I’ve ever known and I don’t want to start over with someone else. I can’t, Ellie! There will never be someone else, it’ll always be you! It’s always been you. But I don’t know how to forgive you so I can move past this. I-I can’t unless you tell me, Ellie.”

“I-I think it’s because… you’re all I’ve ever known too. And I was jealous of my friends who got to experiment. I didn’t plan on acting on it when Lila made a move on me but I kept thinking it was my chance. And I hated it. I regret it so much.”

Her answer felt like a punch to your gut. You were hoping she’d say something different instead of what you thought it would be. You haven’t been taking care of yourself as punishment. You blamed yourself. Did she get bored?

“I-I did everything I could to show my love to you, Ellie. Why? Was it not enough?”

Ellie stood up and began to pace around the room, hiding her face behind her hands as her shoulders shook. She uncovered her mouth to speak. “You’ve always been enough for me.”

“But I wasn’t giving you what you wanted?”

“Please,” she begged. She kneeled down in front of you but you avoided her gaze. “You gave me everything and more. I was stupid. I-I told you, why can’t we move past this?”

“I can’t stop thinking about how you looked at her in that video she sent me. You looked so… I don’t know. Not in love but happy. I think that’s worse than the act itself. You weren’t sorry until you were caught. I think it would’ve lasted a lot longer had I not walked in on you two.”

“Believe me when I say I was going to tell you. I meant everything I said last time.”

She reached out to grab your face but you pushed her hands away, Ellie fighting back hard to get a grip on your head to force you to look at her.

“Listen to me,” she pleaded. “I love you. I will give you my password to my phone. I will text you every minute of the day to update you. I will do anything to prove I’m not doing anything and that I will never do anything again!”

You wept harder, your tears falling down and landing in your lap. “I-I want to believe you so badly.”

“Try. Just try.”

She leaned forward and kissed you. You reciprocated and wrapped your arms around her, pulling her in to deepen the kiss. You had no idea what you were doing yet you couldn’t stop. You missed the taste of her lips so much. 

Ellie pushed you back gently and crawled on top of you.

“Ellie,” you whimpered. “I’m so mad at you.”

“I know, baby.”

She pressed her lips gently along your jawline. She tugged the neckline of your sweater down to kiss all over your chest. You lifted it up over your head and threw it down on the floor. Ellie did the same to herself and pressed her body against yours. You held her close as she licked your collarbone all the way up to your ear. “I missed you.”

You couldn’t get the tears to stop flowing as her hands pushed your sweatpants down. You wanted this so bad but it was killing you. You knew you wouldn’t be able to leave if you went through with this. Ellie took her boxers off and dropped them onto the ground. She hovered over you, her eyes dancing along every inch of your face.

“You’re so beautiful,” Ellie said in a low voice. She kissed you again, more passionately than before. You shoved her down on the bed next to you and threw your leg over her waist, holsting yourself up so you were now on top of her. You lifted her thigh over yours and pressed your pussy to hers. Ellie moaned, her eyes squeezed shut in pleasure. The two of you grinded against each other, filling the room with obscene noises. The image of Ellie kissing Lila flashed before your eyes, making you whine as you cried harder. You couldn’t help but to think just how sad the whole situation was. It was strange having sex with Ellie. The two of you always had a connection yet you felt closer to her than you did before. Neither of you could stop crying. Somehow it made everything more intimate.

Ellie lifted you up and flipped you over onto the bed. She stared deeply into your eyes, her chest red and rising up quickly with every breath she took. She stuck two fingers inside of you and watched your body react to the feeling.

“Pretty girl,” Ellie cooed softly. 

As she fucked you gently with her fingers, you reached up and dug your nails into her skin. You dragged them down along her arms, deep enough for it to draw a little blood. It was a way of getting her back for what she did to you. Ellie didn’t mind it though. She threw her head back and moaned when you did it again. 

Ellie slid a third finger in and curled them upwards, hitting your g-spot. You couldn’t take it anymore. You needed more.

“Ellie,” you whispered. “I-I need something else.”

Ellie pulled her fingers out and quickly got off the bed to get the box that was slid underneath it. She opened it and pulled out a dildo and a harness, putting it together as fast as she could and sliding into it. She got back on top of you and caressed your cheek.

“I love you so much,” she said softly.

“I love you, Ellie.”

She wrapped her arms around you before thrusting into you. Your mouth fell open, letting out a gasp. You gripped onto Ellie’s shoulders as her hips rolled, her pace slow and steady.

“I wish you could see how beautiful you are right now,” Ellie mumbled.

“Sh, Ellie. I-I just want to feel you right now.”

Ellie knew why you didn’t want her to speak but felt hurt by your choice of words anyway. Even while doing this, you still didn’t believe her.

“You’re my girl,” Ellie continued. “You’ll always be my girl.”

Ellie shut her eyes and pulled out of you, lying down next to you and placing a hand on your waist. You stayed silent as a tear rolled down Ellie’s cheek. She tugged the harness down her legs and threw it back into the box, muttering something about how she’d clean it later before laying back down. She brushed your hair out of your face and gave you a sad smile. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I know… it was a bit much. It was a lot for me too. Maybe I shouldn’t have started anything.”

“Don’t,” said Ellie. “I don’t regret it at all. It was nice.”

You adjusted on the bed so that you were facing Ellie on your side. The light from the window made it seem like she was glowing. Her green eyes looked brighter than usual. 

“Can you tell me what I can do to fix this?” 

“I don’t know if there’s anything that can be done to fix it right now,” you responded.

Ellie sighed. “Is there anything I can do for you right now, then?”

“Hold me.”

You raised up and rested your head on Ellie’s shoulder, her cheek pressed against your hair and her fingers drawing circles on your arm. The warmth of her body nearly lulled you to sleep but you tried to stay awake. You would never leave if you woke up in her arms.

“This is over, isn’t it?” inquired Ellie.

“Yeah…”

The both of you started bawling at the same time, holding each other closer to comfort one another. Although it killed you, this was the closure you needed to be able to work on yourself and get over it. 

“I think I need time to figure things out. We both do. And once we’ve had some time apart, maybe we could try being together again. But not anytime soon.”

“I’d like that a lot,” Ellie muttered with a sniffle.

“Good.”

The both of you laid there, soaking each other up for the last time before you had to go. You wanted to say something but felt everything that needed to be said was said already. 

“I wish you didn’t have to go,” said Ellie, breaking the silence.

“I know. Me too.”

“Maybe you don’t have to.”

“I have to, Els.”

Ellie held you tighter, burying her face in the crook of your neck. She inhaled deeply to take in your scent.

“I think I should leave now,” you said. You pulled away from her, getting choked up from the loss of touch. You wanted to lay back down again, take everything back and try again now but knew that time apart is what the both of you needed. Ellie needed time to reflect as did you. You knew it would be difficult but it would be worth it in the end.

Ellie helped you get dressed and got dressed herself. The two of you stood there awkwardly, just waiting for the other to speak. You held your arms out in hopes she would hug you. She smiled and scooped you up, holding you tightly against her chest. 

“I love you, baby.”

“I love you too, Els. I’ll see you around.”

Ellie set you down and grabbed your hand. She led you to the door and opened it for you. You slowly slipped out of her grip, turning back to get another look before going back to your dorm. Ellie leaned against the frame, her eyes glistening as she tried hard not to break down. You made it to the door and looked back to see Ellie was peeking out of hers to watch you go inside. You smiled and chuckled softly.

“I made it safely,” you called out.

“I know. Just had to make sure.”

This was something the two of you have been doing since y’all started college. Usually once you got inside, Ellie would text you something stupid. You wondered if she would as you turned the knob and shut the door behind you. Before you could start to process everything that happened, your phone beeped. You began to cry and laugh as you read the text Ellie sent.

Making sure you didn’t fall on your way to the bed

I stumbled a little but made it just fine

Good. I love you. See you whenever.

I love you too.

#ellie williams #ellie williams x you #tlou2 #ellie williams smut #ellie williams tlou2 #ellie williams x reader #ellie x fem reader #the last of us #the last of us part two #angst #ellie williams angst #ellie williams x reader angst #ellie x reader #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #tlou part 2

[leveragehunters]

okay, I have to ask — how do you like your kobo ereader??

I’ve been eyeing one for a while bc I really *don’t* want a kindle, but also *so* many people have a kindle that it feels like it’s the only real option

Holy crap I LOVE IT. It's so much better than the Kindle. (Also: this got long)

I decided to upgrade my old Paperwhite (it was a second gen, so pretty old and small) and I almost got a new Paperwhite automatically (cause I felt much the same as you).

But the Kobos were on the same page and since I'm trying to be less impulsive, I started poking around and they are so good.

I went with a black Libra 2 and it's like the software was actually designed for human beings, unlike the Kindle software, which I think was designed for no one except the devil.

I side-load only and keep all my books organised in collections. The only way to do collections on the Kindle is manually, one book at a time, or jailbreak (and I'm not sure you can jailbreak the new Paperwhites, plus it's such a PITA).

On the Kobo, I can build collections from within Calibre, super fast and multiple books at a time. You can also do them manually on the Kobo, but even that is SO MUCH EASIER than on the Kindle.

The actual screen reading experience is basically identical (you can even side-load the Kindle font if you want it), since e-ink is pretty much e-ink, but it has few extra 'while you're reading' tweaks, like setting the all around margin size of the book (great if you switch between books and comics) and controlling the presence of, and info in, the top and bottom bar (pages left in book, pages left in chapter, percentage left to go etc). It also has a brightness and a warmness setting, so you can tweak those til they're just right for you.

I'm loving the physical page turn buttons so much - way easier than having to swipe the screen. I can hold the Kobo in one hand and just page forward with my thumb. It's also a teeny tiny bit lighter than my old Paperwhite.

I also love that you can 'archive' any books you've bought from Kobo, so they don't show up on the e-reader (you can still get them from Kobo later if you want), unlike Amazon where they're always right there unless you delete them forever. Like I said, I side-load everything, I don't want to see the Amazon-displayed copies. I don't want to see the Amazon displayed ANYTHING.

Kobo also doesn't advertise to you. Even in a non ad-supported Kindle, the home page of the new Kindle software shows trending and suggested books. It's bloody advertising. The home page on the Kobo shows you things about your library, with a discrete text invitation at the bottom to find new books or make a wishlist. There is a 'Discover' tab where you can see suggested books and such, but you have to actively go there, which means you're seeing it because you want to see it.

It's very intuitive to use - there's tabs down the bottom that do what they say on the tin and the settings are clear what they do. If it goes to sleep on 'Books' it wakes up on 'Books'. If you have authors sorted by last name it shows them all sorted by last name (this was endless aggravation on the Kindle which seemed to have an 'I do whatever the fuck I like' approach). It displays a cute little 'sleeping' when it's asleep along with the cover of what you're currently reading (you can turn that last one off).

It natively supports a decent assortment of file types: KEPUB, EPUB, EPUB2, EPUB3, PDF, FlePub, MOBI, PDF, JPEG, GIF, PNG, BMP, TIFF, TXT, HTML, RTF, CBZ and CBR.

I cannot recommend the Kobo Libra 2 highly enough. It's the damn bees knees and I wish I'd gotten one years ago. I can't ever see going back to the Kindle.

Some pics and Calibre details under the cut (which doesn't seem to be working, darn it).

(yes I have been rereading the Kitty series)

The Calibre plugins I grabbed are below, but tbh honest you don't really NEED any of them:

I also converted my library to kepub, which isn't necessary, but gives you some nifty extra reading features.

To create Collections on your Kobo with Calibre

Decide what Calibre column you want to use for setting your Collections (I use tags, because I don't use it for anything else, but you can also make a new column in Preferences or use one of the others).

Make sure your Kobo is ejected then go to Preferences in the toolbar, locate the Import/export section, then click Sending books to devices.

For Metadata Management, choose Automatic management.

Click Apply.

Remain in Preferences, locate the Advanced section, then click Plugins.

Expand Device Interface.

Scroll down and select either Kobo Touch Extended, or if that's not present, KoboTouch.

Click Customize plugin.

Switch to the Collections, covers & uploads tab.

Checkmark Collections.

For Collections columns, enter the name of the Column you're going to use for Collections.

Checkmark Create collections.

Click OK.

Close Preferences and exit and restart Calibre.

Fancy up your library by putting your books in Collections and when you're done, Send to Device and those collections will be there, all nicely and satisfyingly organised on your Kobo.

#Kobo #Calibre #lemonsofjune #long post #no alt text #I love my new kobo SO MUCH #SO MUCH

[bloomingstay]

favorite kpop group tag~ thank you @binniesbang!

who is your favorite kpop group?

stray kids, if that was any surprise

which member sparked your interest first?

hyunjin! i've almost always been pulled in by the dancer (lee know i know but) specifically the style of dance hyunjin excels in. the isolation is so satisfying and cool. for some reason choreo always gets a song stuck in my head??

But also!! I had heard they produced their own music and that really got me interested in kpop again

who was your first bias?

chris bang 🤍 went from zero to ult within no more than two days tbh…

what makes them your current bias?

oh god. um. i'll put this in the least embarrassing way possible. (this is a kpop tumblr blog I should probably get over it)

it was a particularly bad year. i stumbled upon their silly videos (thank you stay for the edits<3) and they made me laugh. then i started seeing clips of chans room and him interacting with the boys and just like... he's so wonderful. he's generous and kind and loving and thoughtful. just a shy lil guy who also happens to be a flirt and a fucking dork and it's cute man idk shut upp

who is your bias wrecker?

i was certain i'd never have one, i truly adore each of those boys so so much.

i was however proven wrong after a very sweet, silly compilation of binnie being ridiculous. followed by a face cam of his sclass performance in the supreme jersey?? and the curls?? he has such amazing stage presence and he's a great dancer. but he kept going from his cute sweet binnie expressions looking like he was just so into it and having fun, to the "dark rapper" eyes and commanding stage presence. and like, wow. 🖤 i am a sucker for that kind of duality.

which members are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/wrecker?

in another reality han is my wrecker. that boy is the epitome of what i used to look for in guys: babygirl. lol. well, and insanely talented and funny and everything. I adore him

after befriending a couple seungmin stans, i started looking for pics and clips to send them and found myself so incredibly impressed with him and touched by some of the things he's said and done. plus he’s a funny little shit.

hwang hyunjin is such a sweet boy. since we got producer jinnie on the last album i have been looking back and just so impressed with his growth 🤍

when did you first discover the group?

(Upon editing I realize I read this as ‘how’ but oh well)

okokok so

i was a kpop fan 2014-2017 and went all in. kcon and concerts the whole thing

but then i was just on my usual 6 hour yt shorts binge as i tried to fall asleep and saw skz reacting to the "your eyes" mv, specifically felix's part, obviously. i watched it like 12 times just cry laughing at han screaming, hyunjin trying to escape, channie hiding behind his hands and squealing. it was just so funny to see a group kind of clowning their own shit? i thought they were hilarious.

then i saw julien (solomita) had reacted to 'topline' and i was soooo into it. immediately went to watch some mvs and decided cool i'll be a totally normal casual fan of this group’s music….. :)

THEN a lovely lady i'd followed on my 10 year old tumblr account posted about skz. i messaged her that I’d finally decided to check them out and she was kind enough to answer questions and entertain my onslaught of messages as I screamed about how much I love these boys. and she still does everyday so. thank you hana 🌸

have you ever been to one of their concerts?

not yet~

what are some of your favorite songs by them?

THIS SECTION TOOK ME WAY TOO LONG. disclaimer: I absolutely could not include non ot8 this would’ve been 30 songs (I’m probably going to cheat)

Hall of fame. bitch ever since that live stage (which was the first time I’d heard it) I’ve listened to the sclass album 3 times a week no joke, goddamn it’s so good. so just know, i pulled almost every song from that album off this list when i made cuts

levanter. a hard pill to swallow mid relationship struggles and holds a lot of meaning for me.

secret secret. i can't get over how professional this song sounds and how it was just a few years in?

leave. where i got my username~ like I said, relationship stuff. You have not yet really bloomed When the new season comes I hope the warmth will make you bloom Into a flower that never dies

sclass. *bling bling* HIPHOPSTEP. such a fucking chaotic mess of a jam.

megaverse. the breakdown? MEGAPHONE. Han, bitch? We make the rules nobody can hold me yeaaahhh. Your body shakes - STRAY KIDS EVERYWHERE ALL AROUND THE WORLD. Sorry, flawless.

gods menu. ate, bitch. chan was something the fuck else

domino. neeed I say more

social path is bomb

grow up. read lyrics for the first time just now ow

eternity. told u I’d cheat.

love poem. big cheat my list worth it

I am going to be so mad when I realize I missed a song I listen to 7 times a day but been doin this for 2 hours so I’m calling it. Also forgive me I’m still working through the discography (backwards) and haven’t listened to the full first couple albums.

the adhd is allowing no further focus or thought so i will be tagging the same friends as my last tag post no pressure <3

@channieblossoms @skzms @roseykat @thefantasyden @seungsungracha @astraysis @channieswife

Thank you again @binniesbang for tagging me~!

#I WONT APOLOGIZE FOR HOW LONG this is #if yo i wanna read it you can if not that's absolutely okay too EVEN if i tagged you~ #chatty #tag #<3 #binniesbang #ur a sweetie tbh thk u #stray kids #skz #stay

[forscientificreasons]

TW if you post this - Intense r@pe fantasy

I've cum so many times to your blog and to pics of you while thinking about how I would use your body. I don't even know why, you're just a random girl, but I get so turned on by the things you post and my head gets filled with the dirtiest thoughts that I wouldn't normally ever think about.

This morning I imagined seeing you on a train wearing the black skirt you had on in one of your pictures...I sat next to you and put my hand on your thigh. You tried to tell me to stop but I kept sliding my hand further up and coverered your lap with my jacket so no one could see what was going on. My fingers stayed still, pressed against your panties, while in my other hand I held my phone and scrolled through videos on tumblr of women being fucked and used in public. I made sure to turn it so you could also see what I was looking at, but to everyone around us it looked like I was just scrolling on social media.

I noticed how upset and uncomfortable you looked, like you were frozen and unable to stop me, but after a while as I slid my fingers up and down your cunt, I could feel you starting to soak through your panties. I pulled them to the side and shoved two fingers inside and started to slowly move them in and out, making sure to keep my arm still so I wouldn't give away what was going on under the jacket. I could feel you holding your legs tightly together trying to stop me but it wasn't helping at all. I got so turned on at this point that I thought about just pulling out my cock and forcing you to turn over to fuck you in front of everyone, but resisted and kept fingering you instead. I could feel how wet you were between my fingers now, as they pressed against the spot that made your body tense up and your eyebrows furl. I kept going, ignoring you completely while I watched a video of a woman tied up being fucked by strangers on my phone. As you got closer to the edge, I was taking pleasure in glancing over and seeing how hard you were trying not to be noticed, trying not to moan or make any weird faces. I thought about if I should make you cum and keep going so you wouldn't be able to contain yourself, or if I should stop and leave you craving more.

I decided to pull my fingers out, making you watch me bring them up to my mouth to taste your pussy, which now felt so empty and needy from being played with by a complete stranger. I opened a notepad on my phone and turned it toward you, letting you read what I wrote: "I'm going to r@pe you when you get off of this train". Then I deleted the note and went back to scrolling through tumblr, pretending like nothing had happened, this time looking at your pictures, and turning the phone towards you so you could see again. I put my hand back on your thigh and firmly grabbed it, but this time I didn't touch any further up, I just teased you and kept acting like I would as my hand kept inching closer. I kept this up until you got to your stop, then stood up to let you pass before following you out.

You quickly walked out of the train station, glancing back to see me following behind you. There was a secluded spot between two buildings not far ahead that I pulled you into, coming up behind you and wrapping one arm around your neck and covering your mouth with my other hand so you couldn't cry out for help. With your body pressed between mine and the alley wall, I pulled up your skirt and roughly grabbed your ass and spanked it, until it started to leave marks. “You're such a slut, I bet you wanted to cum when we were on the train, didn't you?” I pushed you down to the ground as you fought against me, pulling off your panties and shoving them into your mouth to keep you quiet. They were still soaked from before and you could taste your cunt as your saliva mixed with the juices. “See how wet you were? Some part of you must want this, I bet you've fantasized about this before” I reached into my bag to grab some duct tape, covering your mouth so I could have both hands free to take advantage of your body, leaving you helpless in front of me.

I spread your legs apart and pinned them down with my knees as you struggled against me, one hand holding your wrists while the other pulled up your shirt and groped your tits, pinching and pulling your nipples as I watched the reaction on your face change back and forth from pleasure, to pain, to fear, and back again. I started to unfasten my belt, pulling it off and using it to bind your hands together, before I reached back down and shoved my fingers into your cunt. “Is this what you wanted?” I asked, as my fingers pumped in and out roughly and fast, punishing you and giving you no break as your muffled begging and moans got more and more intense. I let the noises build and build, then I stopped, holding my fingers still inside. “Do you want me to keep going?” You shook your head no, so I pulled them out and slapped your face, asking you again if you want me to keep going. Again you shook your head no, and as I slapped you across the face again, tears started welling up and rolling down your cheeks, over the tape covering your mouth and down your chin.

I reached back down and started to unzip my pants now, pulling out my cock and sliding the tip up and down your messy cunt. It slid along the length so easily with how wet you were, and I teased the entrance and started to push inside a bit as you squirmed beneath me. “Should I put it in? You look like such a needy little whore right now, do you want to be filled up and fucked?” Your pleading for me to stop was muffled by the panties in your mouth, and even though you shook your head no, I gave you no choice, shoving my cock deep inside in one thrust. Your hips bucked backwards as I started to pump in and out, feeling you squeezing tightly around my cock trying to resist. I started to lose myself in the feeling, leaning over you as I held your bound hands above your head, biting your neck and shoulder while I pounded into your pussy. I stared at your face as you turned your head to the side so you didn't have to look at me, while you tried to hide any pleasure you were feeling.

My fingers ran back down your body to start rubbing your clit, and I could see your eyes start to wince and your body start to tense up with how close you were getting to cumming. “Do you want me to let you cum?” I asked, without getting any response from you. I grabbed your chin and turned your head, forcing you to look at me while I kept fucking you, and asked again if you want me to let you cum. Your eyes were still puffy and wet from the tears, and I could see all of the emotions you were feeling swirling together as you stared at me angrily. You had given up on fighting back by now, just letting me use your body however I desired, so I kept fucking you and rubbing your clit until the expression on your face turned to pleasure, your back started to arch up, and your body tensed up again. As I felt you start to cum, I rammed deep inside of you and held my cock there to feel you pulsing around me, your legs pushing up against mine as they shook underneath me.

I couldn't hold back anymore at this point, my hips started to move on their own and buck into you as fast as I could with long deep strokes as you were cumming beneath me. I felt my body tense up too, and my cock begin to twitch, before releasing my load deep inside your cunt. You squirmed back under me trying to keep me from cumming inside but it was too late, as my full weight collapsed on top of you and my hips kept rocking back and forth, churning my cum around inside until it started to drip out and down your ass. I laid there on you for a moment, before getting up and starting to clean off. As I zipped back up my pants and unfastened your hands to take back my belt, I thanked you then started to walk away, leaving you in the alley with cum dripping out of your pussy and your mouth still taped shut with your panties inside. Maybe someone else will come by and get some use out of you too, you were such a good fuckdoll. 💮

Thank you for the TW 🤍

I love this story so much 😩 it's soooo hot! Thank you so so much ☺️ I am flattered that my blog and pics make you think all those nasty things 💕 hopefully it will get even worse 🤭

#answered #cnc k!nk #fantasy #smut story #smut #r@pe k!nk #fuckd0ll

[jkgnggj]

Question, is saiki & toritsuka's friendship better(healthier) or hii and toritsuka's?

Just a question!!! for me it's hii's and tori's

(Is healthier spelled wrong????)(ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

I FUCKING WROTE A LONG ASS ESSAY TO THIS AND WHEN I TRIED TO POST IT TUMBLR WAS LIKE "WOOPSIE SOMETHING WENT WRONG 🤪" BITCH !!! ANYWAYS SORRY FOR SUPER LATE REPLY I HAD TO RETYPE AND RESEARCH STUFF AND REWATCH THE EPS FOR THIS LOL

Ok so basically I think they're both healthy / unhealthy in their own ways its just up to ur interpretation yk. Like ultimately it's up to everyone to decide whether it's toxic or not in their hcs and fanon aus and stuff bc note everyone's gonna have the same opinion but to me I think both friendships are very healthy in their own right.

I think at first tori's def a bit selfish and only seeks out relationship out of his own selfish desires like he seems out Saiki bc of his cool powers (though there isn't much wrong with wanting to befriend someone bc u think they're cool) but he also mentions he wishes he had those powers and then he goes on to try and make saiki use his powers for saikis benefit (aka be popular and get a girl) which again isn't like the worst thing ever like it's obvious Tori would want his only friend to help set him up with someone but the way he does it is a bit disingenuous bc he's pretending to be something or someone he's not. But regardless saiki always helps him even if he doesn't actually help lol sometimes he sabotages him tho usually Tori does that to himself LMAO. But saikis supportive of Tori even tho he insults him and shit he's just a tsundere who doesn't know how to show affection and his way of doing it is a lil violent but he doesn't actually ever harm Tori he always heals him and stuff when he actually physically does damage so Tori can't even feel it when his insides explode lmaooo. Also saikis constantly helping Tori become a better person and do the right things. And u could say it's "toxic" or one-sided cuz only Tori gets something out of their friendship but that's simply not true bc saiki gets a friend out of Tori and the first friend to know Abt his powers too, the first person out of his family to know him for who he truly is powers and all. He's also really reliable even if he's kinda incompetent or useless he is still a huge help when it counts. Tori's constantly putting saiki above his selfish desires when it really matters. They each give and take from each other which I think is necessary for a healthy relationship tbh. It's not one sided at all bc they each risk their lives for each other (cat tank arc).

As for hiitori like any relationship Tori pursues it's a lil superficial at first bc he's got unpure intentions and like selfish reasons for approaching her. He wanted to flirt with her and date her simple as that he wants to be loved lol. And he's a bit of a jerk Abt it bc altho he's nice and kind to her u could say he's probably mostly or at least partly doing it to end up dating her or so she doesn't end up hating him or losing feelings for him bc he's never really had a girl like him for more than like 0.2 seconds. He approaches Saiki to help cure her unluckiness so that he can date her without the fear of getting killed (which like sorta fair but at the same time still douchey lol). He also gives up and runs away bc he's a coward and tries to dump her into Saiki and Mikos hands bc again he's selfish and prioritizes his life over anything else but he tries to protect her (and himself, or maybe himself and by extension he protects her) when they're together like when he offers to take the dangerous chemicals to class himself instead of letting her touch them. So you could say his motives are more Abt self preservation than love but I do think he still cares about her safety and well being (even if at first it's just bc hes desperately and selfishly attached to her love for him). And he gets a lil "toxic" or like possessive when satous in the pic bc now he's got a love rival and he doesn't really like being dumped over the average dude (like fair again but it's still seen as toxic bc he calls hii-chan his girl LMAO) and so he tries to get between them right but backs off when he's literally almost killed at the stationary store haha what a coward. But then when they find out why she's so unlucky although reluctantly Tori ends up helping Saiki figure out how to cure her misfortune. And u could argue he only did it for Saiki's sake so he could praise. Him or be proud of him but I think the reason (if not most of the reason anyways) he does it is because he does genuinely care about hii-chan's safety at the end. He can't just leave a poor cute defenseless girl with that shitty guardian spirit. She's the first girl who's ever really had feelings for him for this long and like genuinely doesn't hate him or whatever so ofc he's gonna have a lil soft spot for her she's the closest thing he has to a friend in class since most of the girls hate him and call him "pervitsuka" and shit so im sure he was trying to be legit helpful and useful to if he wouldn't get recognition for it. I mean he goes full on mom mode on the guardian spirit and then nendou sr comes and goes mom mode sr on the dude too and cleans him up and then it's still not enough so Tori sacrifices (literally, he holds a fucking funeral for them) his getas burning them at the stake just so the guardian spirit can be happy and protect hii-chan like he should've been. He doesn't even complain about giving up his high heels what a brave girl he is 😔💔 oh u also made a post I think Abt how when tori was missing for a whole fucking week the only one who noticed was hii-chan and she went and told Saiki and that's the only reason he found out lol. Maybe it's because the dude sits next to her in class or bc he was her first friend at pk or her first love of something but whatever the reason it was still incredibly thoughtful of her to worry about him and his wellbeing. That's something that didn't really occur to kusuo so I guess if u really wanna pin them against each other hii-chan wins by being the more thoughtful of the two but hey Saiki felt guilty and wanted to rescue Toritsuka despite him being brainwashed and hating him at the moment that he risked his life for him just so he wouldn't get hurt by the cat tank so I think they can't really be compared since. They're different circumstances lol.

Anyways, I think that although his motives for starting any relationship and approaching anyone are usually selfish, Tori sticks around and helps them when they need it. Both saiki and suzumiya are important for Toritsuka's growth as a person / character and their relationships are both fairly healthy at least by the end. I think toritsuka loves and cares for suzumiya and saiki as much as they do for him <3

#ty for the ask Hopefully this one doesnt fucking delete itself again ugh #fuck u tumblr #ruchans asks

[maskedtruths666]

Part 3 of the Tiffany short series!

As Tiffany resumed her date with her bf, she could not process what happened. She hated KC’s guts and she hated the fact she felt so much pleasure from KC that she actually started feeling guilt.

Nevertheless, she continued on with dinner and her bf sent her home without suspecting anything.

The next day in school, Tiffany had a full day of lectures with KC. A part of her wanted to ditch school because she knew KC would just use her for his own pleasure but she also kinda wanted to be pleasured.

She knew KC liked satin dresses, so Tiffany decided to wear yet another satin dress. However, she felt guilty towards her new bf, so she went to the toilet to send him OOTDs of herself and sent her bf a couple of naughty pics, promising that she will be more intimate with her bf as a way of making herself feel better about the situation she’s in.

The moment KC saw her, he had a hard on. Tiffany too, knew KC had a hard on. Before KC could say anything, she said, “Not happening. This dress is a dress my bf got for me. I’m wearing it for him, not for you.”

Not wanting to be rejected, KC ignored her words and caressed her throughout the whole lesson. Whilst the prof was explaining the theories, KC would casually slide his hands up her thighs and try and feel what type of underwear she’s wearing. Tiffany kept pushing his hands away but to no avail. In his most daring act yet, he went under the table, spread Tiffany’s legs open, forcefully pulled out her underwear and started eating her out.

Tiffany, in absolute shock, did not know how to react. As the Prof was still teaching and the class paying attention, Tiffany was suppressing her moans because even though KC is a pervert, he had a way with his tongue. He ate her out with such passion and dedication that even though Tiffany hated his guts, she felt pleasure that she’s never felt before. KC spent a good 15 minutes eating Tiffany out and she was helpless. She almost orgasmed from just his tongue action alone and at this point, Tiffany was so wet, it soaked her satin dress.

As the Prof gave a break, KC slowly came out from under the table and sneakily pocketed Tiffany’s underwear. Tiffany at this point, was way too turned on and she suddenly asked, “You’re not leaving me like this right?”

“Well well well, who is a naughty slut right now?” KC said, smiling devilishly at her.

“I hate how much you turn me on and I still hate your guts.” Tiffany said as she rolled her eyes at him.

“Come, I’ll give you what you want.” KC said as he dragged Tiffany out of the lecture hall. He brought her to a secluded staircase and he pushed her against the wall. He went down on her and continue eating her out and fingering her till the point her juices were all over her thighs and his face as she squirted and orgasmed in the span of 10 minutes of oral and finger sex. Tiffany had to cover her own mouth as she was afraid she’d moan way too loudly and that would attract the attention of other students.

Seemingly satisfied, Tiffany said, “Who would have thought that you of all people would be pleasuring me?”

“I knew. I’m crazy over you. And you know how I am. The more I am obsessed over you, the more I aim for perfection.” KC said as he was wiping the juices off his glasses.

Tiffany, seemingly pleased with his answer, said, “My turn.”

She knelt down and unzipped KC’s pants. Out popped his huge throbbing cock. She slowly started sucking his dick to which KC groaned, “Ugh, fuck. For someone who is a total virgin, you sure know how to suck dick. Fuck, you’re good.”

As Tiffany was willingly sucking KC’s dick, she was actually weighing the pros and cons of her relationship with her boyfriend and actually considering the fact that she is okay with letting KC fuck her if it means tons of pleasure. As she sucked on his dick, Tiffany started fingering herself. KC was doing his best to keep it in because he could easily overpower Tiffany and trust rape her there and then.

Suddenly, Tiffany stood up. She slid off both straps of her dress and her dress dropped to the floor.

“How much do you like my body?” Tiffany asked, standing in front of KC, fully naked and looking him dead in the eye.

“I crave your body and have always jerked off to it every day religiously for the past 3 years.” KC replied immediately without hesitation.

Pleased with the answer, Tiffany knelt down and continued sucking his dick until he came so hard all over her face.

As she cleaned off his dick by sucking it after he ejaculated all over her face and cleaned her own face, she stood up and said, “Book a hotel room sometime in the next 2 days and I’m yours to fuck.”

Before KC could respond, she stood up, wore her dress gave him a quick kiss on the cheeks and left the staircase landing.

Part 4, the finale coming! Will Tiffany fuck her boyfriend? Or will Tiffany cave in and fuck KC? Stay tuned!

[cyborgpulsebooks]

Pulse of Life Press 1st Anniversary - and an experiment!

It's been a whole year since I started this crazy artform! I can't believe it myself. The amount of books I've made in the past year has long since hit the double digits, and each and every one of them is incredibly important to me, flaws and all.

However, there was one book - my first book - that had more issues than the others, some that outright interfered with reading. Luckily I've been learning book repair at the same time as binding, but when I tried to fix some of the problems for Bernhardiner, it went...well... about as badly as it could.

What to do, then, with a ruined book? I didn't have enough decorative paper to completely redo the cover, with all the little dogs. But then I thought - why not leave the cover? I know how books work - I could pretty easily detach the whole case from the ruined textblock, make a new textblock, and just reuse the old case. It seemed like a sound experiment. Now, for the press's first anniversary, I have compiled most of the process under the cut, complete with pictures.

Please come along with me on this journey!

This was the beginning of the process, after having slooowly and carefully detached the endpapers of the textblock (right) from the case itself (left). You might remember this from my recent shitpost! To loosen the adhesive and separate the two parts without ruining either one, I initially slid a bonefolder into the hinge area of the case, and then switched to a thin little boi called a microspatula to slip through the glue not unlike a letter opener.

This did lead to some wear and tear on the boards of course, but it could have gone a lot worse. Most binders that I've learned from use a homemade wheat paste to attach case to textblock, but so far I have not been able to make it without the ingredients turning into an Oobleck-esque gelatin. Thus I use PVA glue, which is far stronger, and can lead to things like this. Still, not too bad. The case was successfully salvaged!

Before I describe and show off the redux, I just wanna share a couple of the errors and mistakes I made on the first textblock here, as I usually try and photograph my books with the least amount of flaws visible. Here we can see, firstly, that the glue job on the spine was shoddy at best; none of it really got quite between the individual signatures of the book, leading to weird gaps like that which compromise the stability of the book and show off the spine liner/mull, to my dismay.

In the other two pics you can see page numbers where they're definitely not supposed to be. Ah, MS Word, you son of a bitch and your terrible, terrible pagination settings. Took me months and months to learn how to paginate my books correctly, up until about my FINAGLC bind.

Not enough glue here on the pre-made endbands, either. It would sometimes fold under while reading, which wasn't super fun to see.

Finally, the botched repair that started this whole journey - I had attempted to fix one of the gaps between signatures (seen earlier) with some Japanese repair tissue, but ended up sticking these pages awkwardly together and fucked up that little top part there. A nightmare!

For all the above reasons, I actually decided to go back to my original typeset and revamp it. I've gotten some... teasing in my binding groups for the fact that my first few books were set in Times New Roman (which I actually find satisfying to read, thank you very much), which apparently gives off a sort of amateurish vibe. I've been experimenting with body fonts since, and the two I reliably use at the moment are usually Sylfaen (for shorter, smaller books) and Baskerville Old Face (for longer books). I switched it to Sylfaen here, and you can compare and contrast the results far down below.

Now, I'm not going to detail the entire bookmaking process here - just the interesting bits. If you want to learn how to make books, I highly suggest checking out @renegadepublishing's resources, as they're how I learned. But here we can see all the new signatures of the new edition nice and crisp and printed. In the second photo they've even been punched for sewing already!

At the co-op where I print and sew my textblocks, I often get to use real nipping presses like this bad boy right here. It's entirely metal (iron?) and way too heavy to lift. Between the two scrap papers peeking out is the new Bernhardiner!

But at home, this is my current set up:

Everyone, meet the eponymous Pulse of Life Press. POL Press, meet everyone.

A family member of mine made the wood part (obviously, a separate piece from the HS books) for me last Christmas, with no real knowledge of what a book press should look like at all. It's sort of a cross between what's known as a lying/finishing press and just some sort of regular old clamp. I line it with wax paper, stick the spine of the book in the center, tighten, and then cover the rest of the textblock with my trusty viz Homestuck books. It's a little MacGyver-y, but it's served me well.

This is the part where you glue the spine, attach the endpapers, and so forth.

For this redux, I decided to continue practicing making my own endbands instead of using the same pre-made ones I had for the first copy. These ones actually came out pretty darn well, if I do say so myself! They're the absolute neatest I've made them so far, and that's a relief. Obviously I still need work, but it's so lovely making them. <3

After this, I actually don't have a lot of pictures! It's basically just press, attach the spine liner and glue again, press again, casing in, and then...

Et voila!

Lookin' pretty good, if I do say so myself.

I didn't get exact duplicate photos of the original textblock's mistakes for a before/after, but you can probably just tell from these just how cleaned up the new one is. Rest assured those pesky out-of-place page numbers are long gone, and my spine gluing has gotten a lot better. I'm honestly just glad that it cased in so well - I was worried about that flaky board for a minute there!

And that's all. Thank you for coming with me on this little peek behind the scenes! Here's to many more books in the coming year - more to read, more to make, and more to write.

Cheers!

#cyborg rambles #POL press #bookbinding #fanbinding #book repair #it's also my birthday month so! double the warm and fuzzies #long post

[hoodharlow]

Concept: First NFL game supporting Joe 😘

since i can't do y/n and reader fics, imma do an "oc" for this <3 i also tweaked it so it's oc's first AWAY nfl game <3

***

"paloma, i thought you said he played fútbol" her father asked her as she pulled up to levi's stadium.

"papi, i said he plays football not soccer" she clarified, driving down the vip parking lot.

her dad hummed in response.

paloma was nervous. not only was it her first time her seeing her man play outside of paycor stadium but it was also the first time she was introducing him to her dad. paloma worked as a civil engineer in cincinnatti. she went to purdue university for college then got a job offer from one of her retired professors. she met her boyfriend, joe burrow, at a gala. she was there in representation of the engineering firm she worked at and he was there with few of his teammates. they hit it off and now have been seeing each other for a few months.

her job forced her to take her vacation since she hadn't taken a day off, except for the holidays where they didn't work. she decided to visit her family in san jose, where she's from. coincidentally joe had a game with the 49ers. she casually mentioned it to him and he thought it was a great time to meet her family. paloma agreed, como mensa. completely forgetting her that her family is extra and made everything a big deal.

paloma loved her family. if it weren't for their support she wouldn't have gone to the random college in Indiana that she discovered while reading a teen romance series about brothers in a gang. what she didn't like about her family was that they made a big deal about everything and they were nosy as hell. she couldn't facetime joe without her mom or one of her sisters trying to eavesdrop. hell, she's even she even caught her dad trying to listen when she was in the garage. that was when she finally decided to tell her parents she was seeing someone.

she didn't go into details. her sisters were nosy and would have pulled up several twitter threads. her mom would have told everyone and their grandma on facebook. she just mentioned that he worked for the bengals and got her two tickets to the game. her mom and her sisters weren't sports fans. so she decided to take her dad to the game.

truthfully the only person joe needed to really impress was her dad. he was pretty old school and dressed like he still lived down in east la, but beneath that tough exterior he was a big old softie that cared about his girls. he was very overprotective and didn't like anyone she or her sisters dates. which was was she rarely ever introduced any of her partners to her family.

paloma and her dad made it their seats and she pulled out her phone to text joe that they made it. she shrugged off jacket covering her jersey and took a huge sip of her cocktail.

"is that your boyfriend's name in the back?" her dad asked.

"yes. why?" she arched an eyebrow at him.

"no mas pregunto." he said, typing on his phone.

seconds later paloma's phone went off. her sisters flooding the sister group chat they dad.

miranda- joe shiesty!?!?

nancy- you're fucking the nfl's boyfriend?

olivia- *screenshot of blurry pic of joe and paloma hugging by his car that tmz somehow got* THIS YOU!?!?!

paloma silenced her phone and turned to her dad. "you told them?"

"hm?" her dad said, feigning confusion.

she rolled her eyes and focused on the warm-ups. joe got her seats where the visiting team walks out. she spotted him while he talked to one of his teammates. almost like he sensed her watchng him, he looked up and waved at her.

"omg, joe waved at us." someone sitting behind paloma squealed.

"you're basically married now." their friend squealed back.

paloma's dad chuckled and she rolled her eyes. soon after the game started and ended in a blink of an eye. the 49ers and bengals tied. paloma and her dad made their way over to their car. joe was going back to his hotel then taking an uber to her parents.

"you really like him, huh?" her dad said, stating the car.

"what do you mean?"

"you had that silly look on your face the whole game and you cheered the loudest in our section. me dejaste sordo de este lado." he pointed at his left ear.

"whatever." she said.

just then her phone went off. a few freidns from home and some from cincinatti, as well as some of ehr cousins, sent her a screenshot of joe's ig story. it was a picture of her cheering on the big screen when the bengals scored. at the bottom he put "my girl 🥰'

#joe burrow #joe burrow concepts #ree 😌😌😌 #heavyhitterheaux 😌😌😌 #roa concepts

[robiinurheart33]

Writing rottmnt Headcanons because I have a whole folder on my notes app and I’m digging my claws into this show I will not lose hyperfixation on this.

Beware it is VERY LONG and some won’t make sense unless seeing other versions of the brothers first but I’m posting raph first

Raph (she/him) bi transfem

- used to chew everything or bite as a kid

- Had a big ass tail he uses to throw enemies

- Laughs/ smiles when he’s mad

- Once when they were younger, Raph changed his headband to like Leo and mikey and Donnie cried rlly loud because he wasn’t matching w Raph anymore

- Turtle food trash can

- Would often accidentally cut himself with his snaggletooth because he has a habit of biting his lips

- LOVES LOVES LOVES turtle plies

- Loves cats but bad with them (takes cat pics from a reasonable distance)

- Doesn’t like nuts

- Had a peanut allergy (I think this is in the show)

- Watched the pjo movie with mikey and listened to him rant about how bad it is

- Actually likes his human form (sometimes he puts on his cloaking brooch and stands in front of the mirror staring at himself) - mikey once walked in on him and they both got startled

- Sometimes his left eye will loose his vision and he’ll panic but it always comes back after a few hours

- Likes to doodle along with mikey

- Makes fun of Donnie for his obsession with the frozen soundtrack

- Puts on eyeliner cause then he looks pretty

- Eats guacamole straight from the jar

- Drinks milk from the carton and then sprinkles cereal into his mouth and chews

- Likes wedges

- Stress relief crochet with mikey

- Likes to tie his strings in a bow

- Churrs when happy (REAL)

- Once asked Donnie to install his own Shelldon in his room (Donnie said no)

- Once got rlly excited during Pictionary and threw a plate and it broke (if you get the ref can we be friends)

- When in arguments he can’t make eye contact properly so he settles on concentrating on something else - usually any object in front of him, the background or the floor

- Every once in a while he’ll drop the most dubious call out ever to one of their brothers just to laugh at their facial expression

- Started sobbing at the finale of Steven universe despite not watching the whole series before

- ^^ due to this he watched the movie and cried even more but decided not to watch the series in fear of just straight up crying every episode

- Listens to jazz to calm down

- Once raph went on all fours at 4am cause he couldn’t sleep and wanted to try out how an actual snapping turtle would walk and he scared the living Jesus out of Leo

- Each of them got a jellycat for raph and he felt so touched he cried

- She likes to chew on salad for the crunch (she just goes CRNBGGGCHH CRUNCCHZHHH it’s amazing )

- Scared of dogs (just a bit)

- Likes making random noises with his mouth whenever he’s bored or just doing anything menial

- Once he was hanging out with Donnie and meowed really loud which scared the fuck out of him

- “Lalalala” to most of his friends and family and everyone loves him for it (that one See You Again trend)

- Doesn’t like to be reminded that the meat he eats used to be alive

#robs ramblings #rottmnt headcanons #I made this I think two years ago? #it’s been a long time. #if this is well received i might publish some more #we’ll see #maybe I’ll just post more for fun #yk just be silly and carefree #who cares #(I do) #save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #rottmnt raph

[glorianamultistan]

Request by @sangyeonara :- Sangyeon from the Boyz, again enemies to lovers (I’m obsessed🥹). They are the two oldest members from the group and are in a competition for everything

I do not own the pic

Sangyeon x male reader

Content:- some blood, some suggestion.

It was an early morning in December, and all the other members were sleeping peacefully, while y/n, the second eldest of them all, was in the kitchen, thinking about last night's chaos and looking over at the sink filled with utensils.

"Was it worth it for him to win like this?" y/n pouted thinking about his only hyung in the group.

Last night Sangyeon decided to cheat in the game of rock-paper-scissors and y/n was the one left in charge of washing the pile of dishes out of which most were by Sangyeon only as he cooked too much for everyone.

Sighing, y/n started washing the dishes and realised he is also in charge of making the breakfast before everyone gets ready to leave for their practice. It was going to be a hectic morning.

It has been like this forever. Y/n and Sangyeon had petty arguments daily, not that the serious ones were rare but they were too heated and often resulted in y/n leaving the dorm for hours and returning only after Sunwoo would go looking out for his precious hyung, all the while other members tried to talk to Sangyeon to make him understand that this cannot go on any longer, yet it did, for five years now.

None of them was ever ready to give up, they danced harder than the other, and sang higher than the last time. They always competed against each other as if it was not the group but the individuals who mattered more.

Nobody knew how it started. When y/n joined them as a trainee, Sangyeon was nice to him but one day, after their first debut anniversary, y/n came late to their dorms and that caused Sangyeon to get angry at him. Though nobody knew the reason why y/n was late or where he was, they just knew that Sangyeon's reply to y/n's statement that "my personal matter is nothing for you to care about." started the breaking off. Since then, it all went down in the competitions. Trying to outdo each other, they never cared if they had to step onto the other's bad side.

There have been times when y/n considered calling a truce and they have done it twice too but both times due to Sangyeon's invasive habits y/n got annoyed to the point that he started arguing again.

"I will not have breakfast." "I am clearly not making it for your ratass." "Yah! I am your hyung!" "Go say that to others." "You have quite an attitude so early in the morning." "You have quite some time for being a jerk every time." "Will you two stop!? It is so early in the morning." Jacob said while going towards y/n and starting to dry the dishes.

"You are up early hun?" "y/n hyung, I thought I would help you with the breakfast and dishes so I got up early." "Awh! At least some people are kind." Y/n stated. "At least some people respect their hyungs," Sangyeon replied.

"Please don't respond right now y/n hyung. We have the whole day." Jacob was already having a minor headache. "Let us make the breakfast fast, we have to get ready too." Y/n was going to try and ignore Sangyeon for some time.

The group had their breakfast peacefully and everyone left in pairs of two to three. Only Sangyeon who did not have breakfast which y/n and Jacob made, and ordered something for himself and y/n who was now cleaning everything up one last time before leaving were left.

"We should go together." Y/n turned back from the kitchen counter faster than Sangyeon expected and the younger's hand which held a ladle hit the older just beside his left eye, and there was blood already flowing down the older's face. "Fuck! What the hell are you doing standing this close! Oh my fucking God! Blood! There is blood! I am so sorry! Oh my God! What should I do!? "Stop fretting first! Jeez! I need to sit down. Bring me a cold towel fast."

Y/n rushes to get a towel and dip it in ice water and rush back to the kitchen where Sangyeon was sitting with blood already dripping on his t-shirt. "Here." Y/n squeezes the towel and puts it at the spot where blood seems to be coming from. "I need to go to a hospital I guess." "Wait! Yes! Let's go to a hospital fast."

Y/n was realising that his sentences were erratic and incomprehensible, but he had never been in such a situation before and guilt is eating him up as the two of them rush to the nearest hospital.

"Please stop speaking, my head is hurting," Sangyeon said as he lay on the hospital bed with two small stitches now on the place which was ripped open by the ladle. "I am so sorry hyung, I did not mean to hurt you. I know everyone is going to think the same thing, but I swear, I did not know you were standing this close." Y/n was a crying mess sitting beside Sangyeon and looking like a lost child. "You have repeated the same thing in a thousand different ways and even the nurses are judging you from afar. Stop crying, why are you acting like this, aren't you supposed to hate me? And isn't that why you are worried that everyone will think you did it on purpose?"

"You know pretty well hyung that it all was started by you. And why will I hurt you even when I hate you." Y/n wasn't able to finish the whole thing he had to say and their whole group with the manager was already there. He called and told them that Sangyeon was hurt and told them which hospital they went to.

"What happened? And that too a week before the music video shoot?" Their manager asked, and this sent y/n into an anxious state before he could reply Sangyeon stated "I did not see the upper rack that was opened and got hit by it while getting up." "Oh, I thought you both fought and it was serious." "No, c'mon, why would you think that y/n won't hurt me like this would he?" "No!"

"Hyung, you don't need to get this defensive, we know you would never do it," Sunwoo replied.

"Okay, we will leave now, I asked the doctor and you can be discharged after six hours, so you can call me then and I will be back with the car, y/n will stay here with you till then." With this, their manager left and all the members went with him leaving their hyungs together.

After they all left, y/n was not able to control himself "Why did you lie hyung?" "You heard what the manager said right? They would have blamed you clearly when it wasn't your fault too." "Why did you do it? It was my fault." "It wasn't and now you owe me one favour so I can have an upper hand on you anytime. That is better than seeing you get scolded by the managers and all. Now please be quiet and let me rest for a while." "I hate you really." "Same."

The next few weeks were hell for y/n, Sangyeon and his own guilt ate him up. The elder regularly asked him to make extra stuff to eat, made him clean after himself and even made him stay in when he wanted to go out and meet one of his old friends from school.

While all of these petty things irritated y/n over the top, other things which Sangyeon did were commenting on how happy he was to look at sulking y/n and how good it was that finally everyone was listening to him, made y/n angrier than before.

Due to one secret, Sangyeon was overpowering almost all of y/n's social life outside the group activities. One Saturday when every member was already out and y/n was getting ready to go out and finally meet his friend, Sangyeon asked him to stay at home and help him with something even though it was one person's work.

"No, I have to meet my friend, I declared it a week ago and you have known it all the time that I have not met him for such a long time and last time too you did not let me go. You are not my boss, I am going, do it yourself."

"Are you serious y/n?" "Yes, I don't fucking care if you tell everyone the truth, it is not worth it to listen to you anymore, you are just a menace in my life." "I... just don't like when you meet that friend of yours! Is it that difficult for you to understand?" "Why!? I am not asking you to go with me! It is my life! My friend!" "He is not a good person y/n, we went to the same school, that is why I am more concerned." "What the actual fuck do you mean by this Sangyeon!?"

"Can't you see he likes you and is obsessed with you!?" "He has been in every fan meet, has only your photocards somehow whenever he opens the albums, he was even involved with a sasaeng who tracked you and spread the rumour about Juyeon being a smoker." "It was a misunderstanding, he clearly explained it to me." "Yes, ask him to explain himself to you." "Even if he likes me, why does that worry you? At least I have someone who cares about me." "It bothers me because I like you too and he makes me uncomfortable, there I said it! I would have said it the first time we fought because of you going out with him and coming late, but I guess today is the limit for me, especially after the rumours and all."

"Whoa, you can't even think about a better lie!? You!? Like me!? Please, a joke which not even deluded shippers would agree to." "Then let me just show you." Sangyeon whispered while taking long strides towards y/n and before y/n was aware, their lips were together with the elder in lead and y/n's back hit the wall at the end of the gallery slowly.

It was, too much for y/n, the kiss was gentle yet so much passionate that y/n's whole body shivered and unknowingly he had arms around the elder's neck. It lasted so long that y/n had to whimper for Sangyeon to leave his lips and let him breathe but just after a second without warning, Sangyeon again captured his lips. After almost ten minutes of this all, y/n finally got free as Sangyeon started kissing his neck softly. "Since we were in school, and I saw you *kiss* I was enchanted *kiss* but then *kiss* you ended up here, with me *kiss* so close *kiss* so delicate *kiss* so pushy and in need of a good master *kiss* baby, I had to control so much, hmm, did you know?" Sangyeon brethed along y/n's jawline. "hyunghh..." Y/n could only whimper, his voice and body were not responding. It was his first kiss and he was overpowered by emotions.

"You have lost your mind hyung, we cannot do this, I am going out, please, let me go." Y/n whispered, he will still in Sangyeon's hold and somehow he was holding on too. "Do you think I did this all to let you go? We can do this." "I hate you hyung, why do you have to do this right now?" "Because your virgin body is too precious to be left like this."

Y/n would have never imagined that Sangyeon will be so gentle and caring with him and in the heat of the moment, he went with the flow without actually regretting it later.

P.S.:- If you liked it, you can support me by buying me a coffee; link's on my page.

#kpop x male reader #kpopgay #kpopidol #kpop boys #male reader #the boyz #the boyz x male reader #tbz x male reader #tbz #sangyeon #sangyeon x male reader #gay #gaypop #fanfiction #bottom reader #gay couple #requested #suggestive #kiss #male idol x male reader #male idols #bratty #master #top sangyeon #kpop

[ghostoffuturespast]

@reilleclan-blog since you asked...

I try not to make my VP process a secret, there's literally nothing to hide, all the tools I use already come with the game, I utilize techniques anyone can learn, I don't do any fancy post-editing (other than rotating), and I think VP should be accessible for everyone.

I took these shots at "Star Lake", which is technically an out of bounds asset - you drive over this thing in the Star Ending of the game in the tank with Panam, so it requires some cheese in order to get to this location. I got inspired by a couple other bloggers here with their trips down to "Langley" (@arachnophobic-larantula & @mynonsenseistingling) and decided to go on a road trip myself. I spent about five hours exploring out of bounds and went all the way from the SoCal Border Checkpoint up to the Oil Fields. (I'll post my tourist photos another time. Technically, I'm still stuck behind the fence at the oil fields, but I'll figure it out later.)

If you need some detailed instructions on how to cross the border in vanilla versions of the game and get to Langley (and yes, you do need the fortified ankle cyberware, double jump will not cut it), this video is helpful:

If you're trying to get to Star Lake, once you cross the border follow the road south and when you get to the intersection head east. If you roughly follow the curve of the border wall and the ridge that splits thae map between in bounds and out of bounds, you should bump into it.

It was dark when I got to the lake, so the lighting actually wasn't optimal but I stopped because the ground was shiny. It took me a minute to figure out what the heck I was looking at, but funny thing about this lake is that it's just a reflective texture suspended over the lake bed, it's not even water. You can drive and walk through it.

Once I realized the lake was just texture, I walked in, popped open the camera, and started swinging the thing around and playing around with all the effect settings and the poses just to see what I could get. And that's the process for all my VP. I mainly rely on whatever lighting I can find, intersting locations, angles, and juxtaposition, because those are the techniques you have the most leeway with on console and in vanilla photomode.

Anyway, the shot on the left was one of the first pics I took at this location. With how dark the water is and the limited amount of light, I realized that a shilouette style photo was only gonna work at a distance. But I wanted to see what else I could get, so I went the opposite direction of what I thought I wanted. I turned V around so her back was facing the moon towards the light, pretty much maxed out the exposure and brightness settings, bumped up the contrast a smidge, cycled through the poses (Night City Strut is always a favorite), put the field of view down to 15, rotated the camera angle 90 degrees, adjusted my camera to frame the shot how I wanted. Boom. Photo on the right.

P.S. If you do venture out of bounds, make a save file from before you cross the broder (do not overwrite it just in case you need an easy exit out) and save often and keep multiple save files while you are out there. You will die and you will get stuck and there is no fast travel. Also, make sure you have a decent amount of eddies on hand, insurance kept charging me everytime I called a vehicle. Fucking rat bastards...

#cyberpunk 2077 #virtual photography #reference #resource #i'm not a corporation i have no trade secrets #more than happy to share and learn #console shots #ps5 #out of bounds #Youtube

[havin-fun-imagining-twd]

Invisible, tugging strings, Pt. 1

When - chronologically after souls stripped bare, which means the Chupacabra episode of Season 2.

What - Daryl is hurt and hallucinating at the bottom of the ridge, while you are at the farm, wondering why you are overcome with really insistent dread that he’s hurt.

Relationships - why do the two of you feel like there’s a string tugging at your chests? (slow burn Daryl x Reader)

Perspective - Him 3rd, You 2nd

Pronouns - they/them neutral

TWs - language, description of pain and injury, and those signature crappy screenshots from the episodes the Slowpoke Series tends to have, and one poor pic from the internet of Patricia

What stories should I read first? - souls stripped bare! A measure of reverence Parts 1 and 2 came before it, but definitely souls stripped bare so you get what went on

Will reading this one take me all day? - no, slowpoke, about 15 minutes :)

Can I check out the Masterlist? - please do! There’s the official one here in purposeful nonlinear publishing, and the purely chronological one here. They both have the same Slowpoke stories, just in a somewhat different order. (Reader Requests are in the official one)

There’d been that damned snake, so the horse reared, and down Daryl went.

His neck should’ve gotten snapped, tell you what. For real, he should’ve broke a few fingers or something on his way slip-sliding down the world’s most painful fucking waterslide that was the rock ridge he’d tumbled down before finally crashing into the water below. Maybe he did break some shit on the way down but just doesn’t notice yet?

Whatever, he’s just grateful Y/N ain’t here with him. Because if they’d fallen too, with the injuries they already got going? The two of them would be in this shit instead of just him, and he has no idea how he’d be able to get Y/N out of it. He can’t even get his own damn self out of it.

All his lazy-ass has gotta do is just—fucking—ow! He can’t seem to get any higher, come on! He’s halfway!

It’s because the bolt notched in the top of his crossbow decided to move out and notch its damn self in his left side while he was busy careening his way down the goddamned ridge. Least he was able to fish out his crossbow from the pool at the bottom. And most importantly, he has the doll.

He found her doll! Yeah, that’s right, the one that little Hispanic girl—sorry, ‘Lila’ or ‘Liza’—the doll she gave to Sophia.

He’s seen it from the top of the ridge and was trying to figure out a way down, was walking the horse along the top to find the best spot to climb, when bam. There was a rattler, it scared the poor nag, she fucked off to who-knows all while Daryl crash-banged his way down the slope in record time.

And now, he can’t get any higher. ’Cause he’s a damned pussy.

Son of a bitch, and even now, he’s glad Y/N isn’t here to hear him call himself a ‘pussy’ because they wouldn’t like that shit. At least that invisible string that felt like it was tied to Y/N, whatever the hell that was, either snapped on his way down or he can’t feel it as much right now because everything else hurts so damned much.

Okay, Darylina, all you need to do is buck up and prove your balls dropped and get your ass up the rest of the way and get back to the farm.

He groans in pain and wills his nausea to go down.

“Oh, come on. You’ve done half. Stop bein’ such a pussy,” is his version of a pep talk, and with one final “Come on,” he uses all his strength to lunge himself up closer!

Yes!

Only — it’s the dizzy part he isn’t expecting, along with the way everything in his stomach lurches up, and the way the soil is far too loose and he can’t find a decent grip. Panting to help curb him from upchucking right then and there, he feels himself fail to find a root or branch to grasp.

Next thing he knows, his world is spinning again.

There’s a snapping sound, a searing pain in his side that spreads everywhere, and before he can think, his breath is gone an—

................................................

You

Daryl is hurt just jumped into your mind again and you have no idea why.

He’s gone out on his own before, why are you filled with dread all the sudden? Whatever happened late this morning to you two is really throwing you for a loop.

This morning, you don’t know, but after all happened with him, you feel like you’re welded together. You know it sounds weird.

Still, you do not like that he’s not here, that he’s alone. You know the feeling will ease, but it really sucks right now and you’re really not liking how that sudden dread just appeared in your brain, and loudly, way more loudly than when it happened the first time, like 30ish minutes ago? And the invisible string is still tugging away.

Maybe it’s just the caffeine crash after the espresso incident early this morning. That, combined with latent worries about the blood transfusion and how thoroughly exhausting today was. How the past few days have been…

“Carl, baby, how do you feel?” you ask to distract yourself.

“Creeped out that blood is going into my arm.”

Lori kisses her boy’s hand and shares a quiet laugh with Patricia. Rick cracks up, Hershel smiles politely from his chair.

“Does your back hurt or do you feel itchy? Cold?” Those are the things Patricia said to be on-alert for.

“Nope.”

“Are you out of breath?” Heck, you’re out a breath…

“Y/N, you’re making me nervous.”

Okay, fair, you need to get out of this room, you feel like you can’t breathe enough.

You stick your tongue out just in case Carl notices there’s something off with you (that punk notices almost everything). “Doct—Mr. Greene, would you like me to get more sweet tea?” you check, hoping you seem normal.

Genuine concern for him aside, it can’t hurt to be extra polite after Jimmy went on the search with Glenn today without consulting Hershel or being clear with his mother about it, turns out. And how Daryl…stole a horse.

Mr. Greene nods from the chair he hasn’t left since donating a pint of blood about 40 minutes ago. “I wouldn’t mind, in fact. Thank you.”

Slightly unbalanced from having your injured arm slung and tied to your side, you take his glass from the crocheted coaster with your free hand. Once in the hallway, you close the door behind you and start to hyperventilate. You aren’t really aware of walking there, but you end up at the kitchen counter pouring tea into the glass while tears pour from your eyes and you gulp down air.

Your hair’s still wet from the shower, so riddle you why it feel like it’s 105º in this place? What the hell is going on, dude? Why are you panicking over Daryl, he’s fine, he’s always fine! Just say a prayer and get on with it, you got shit to do.

Wipe, sniff, swallow. Okay.

With a final wipe for good measure, all you need to do is poke your head back in and put the filled glass on the counter. You’ll be nearby to help if anything happens to Carl or Hershel. Nothing should, but you never know.

After delivering the iced tea, you begin to make your way to the porch—but then pause, because don’t want Shane seeing you right now. Every heaving inhale makes your sore stitches burn and your shoulder/chest injury pinch, but you can’t seem to stop! This isn’t cool, this really isn’t cool.

There’s a side-door in the kitchen, you’ll use that. You need air.

two hours ago

“Sweetie, what happened to you two?”

“I don’t know.”

You couldn’t and still can’t shake off the feeling you’d gotten a glimpse into Daryl’s very soul. You didn’t want to take your eyes off him as he ran to—you weren’t sure, but probably to the stables.

There was a tugging in your chest as you watched him hurry away. You didn’t want him to go far.

You didn’t want him to go, period. It felt wrong that he was alone, that you weren’t going with him.

Carol asking you “What do you mean?” got interrupted when Maggie called from inside the house, “Y/N?” and ran out to the porch where Carol was escorting you in.

“Hey,” you panted, finally dragging your eyes from Daryl and looking at her frown. Her coloring matched her last name as she stared at the bloodstained part of your shirt.

“Did one of the infected people do that, Y/N?”

“No, it’s the stitches. Don’t tell your daddy? He already thinks I’m an idiot,” you asked, nervous.

Letting out an exhale and nodding, she said, “I’ll get Patricia,” before jogging back inside.

“This is why I changed my shirt before comin’ back, didn’t want no fuss,” you muttered to Carol.

She was crying softly as she continued to guide you inside. “Well, it looks like you bled through it.”

“Shane and Rick ain’t come back yet, right?”

“Not yet.”

“Good,” was all you could respond to that. You were in too much pain to be in any patient mood.

One, Shane not being back meant he and Rick might have come back with Sophia in tow, and two, it meant that you could get cleaned up before your brother saw what a mess you’d made of yourself.

If he saw you like this, he’d get angry, use it as proof about how you all shouldn’t be out there, then would go off about how there’s no point in searching anymore because statistics say that the little girl’s dead.

And you didn’t like how you were tiptoeing around him. That in itself was a red flag, he’s better than that, and yet…

 A final, exhausted glance to see if you could still see Daryl, and Patricia was there as you and Carol entered the farmhouse. “Come into this room to your left, let see what the damage is,” she directed, kit in hand.

“I’m sorry, Miss Patricia,” you whispered.

Carol took your backpack off carefully and murmured that she’d wash your bloodied shirt(s) and grab you fresh clothes from the line. Patricia has her take off your soiled top right then and there, Carol also takes Dale’s watch off you to return.

It was only Patricia in there, so it was okay, you didn’t feel too exposed without a shirt.

She sanitized the area and snipped the sutures. You did need new ones. They hadn’t popped, but the skin around them tore and pulled and bruised.

That her now-dead husband was the one to so expertly do the original ones hurt more than the actual physical pain, believe it or not. Maybe you were feeling too much elsewhere or simply felt too drained and numb from earlier to have that strong a reaction to more?

“Sweet pea, you didn’t do anythin’ wrong. Ain’t no need to apologize,” you heard her tell you. “Otis wouldn’t want you to be.”

There was a brief pause in the suturing process because you broke into a cold sweat and she worried you were about to get sick. “Once we’re finished, I’m going have you head upstairs to take a nice, warm shower again. There’s plenty of fuel left in the generator. Don’t worry, we won’t be shy about sending y’all out for more when the time comes.” She handed you the small emesis basin for you to hold with your good side, and continued.

Halfway into resuming the stitches you ended up needing to use it. As you did, Patricia made motherly shushing noises and cooed how it was okay, then took away the container and put it on the tiny shelf near the door.

You like how she talks, she’s twangy like you are.

“Alright, what happened to you out there, Y/N? Didn’t you go searchin’ with the, uh, Dixon—Merle Dixon from the prescription bottle—his younger brother? I heard the bike drive back.”

“We had a rough morning.” You stifle a sigh in relief and pain in as you felt her make the final suture. The snip of the scissors cutting the excess surgical thread was music to your ears. “Daryl d-drove me back ’cause I hurt too much.”

Daryl. Just the thought of him out there, alone, made your chest tug again and a lump grow in your throat. And you really hoped nobody noticed that he most likely stole a horse 10 minutes before.

“How’d it happen?” she pressed. Finished cleaning up what she used for the stitches, she stood to check your shoulder. “You weren’t like this this morning, Y/N, this mornin’ you were the energizer bunny.”

The front door opened, and a knock came on the door of the room you were in. “It’s me,” Carol spoke from outside.

“Come on in.”

She opened the door and slipped inside, carrying a complete change of clothes for you, and promptly moved to take away the container you’d just vomited in.

“No, Carol, leave that, I can do it. I just need my shirt on.” Having so much skin exposed isn’t your usual.

Granted, that’s when Patricia requested, “Let me get a look at your range of motion and all that first before puttin’ a shirt back on, it’s easier when I can press against the skin directly.”

“It’s nothing I haven’t taken care of before, Y/N,” Carol softly reminded you, and took the container away.

To be polite, you asked Patricia to grab the hand sanitizer from your backpack before she did her thing. Smelly underarms are caused by bacteria and sweat; you knew you’d gotten sweaty. You already felt so humiliated and raw, you didn’t have a damn shirt on, you just threw up in front of her, you were crying; smelling less offensive was something over which you still had some control.

Patricia then started to do similar movements to what Mr. Greene did last night. Everything ached worse than yesterday, so much worse.

“Now, how’d this happen? It weren’t this bad before, certainly not this morning.”

“I overdid it,” you mumbled.

“I’ll say.”

The pictures of the family you’d just buried started to pop up in your mind. The image of them in their grave, that big blanket over them, popped up, too, as did the sensation of carrying them in your arms to get them there. The tears fell harder. “I-I had to.”

“Sweet pea, I’m sure you had a very good reason,” the woman soothed.

Really, if you had a dollar for every time you’ve cried in the past four days (not that you could do much with it, but), you’d probably have a $50 bill.

The door opened a second time.

You were grateful it was just Carol again, not Hershel or Shane. She brought you a small glass of sweet tea, which you held in your free hand but didn’t drink.

“Y/N, I wanna make sure that Daryl didn’t hurt you or try to.” Patricia was blunt.

You weren’t offended on his behalf; that she asked meant she was concerned and wanted you safe. “The opposite, ma’am,” you responded softly.

“Hm?”

“He picked me up and carried me when I couldn’t get myself up.” You tried a sip of tea to help swallow back more tears. It was very sweet tea, you gagged at first. “He dug when I couldn’t no more.” A sob worked its way up as you coughed out “God, I r-really wish he weren’t all alone out there right now.”

Carol took the mostly full cup from you and placed it on the dresser, while Patricia’s hands slowed where she was examining you. “Why’d y’all dig?” she asked.

You slumped where you sat. “The family who’d boarded up their house, the ones from Mexico?”

“The Bardales?”

Your lips wobbled and you could only nod to tell her yes, that was them, then shake your head back and forth to try and relay what happened to them.

She understood. “All of them?” she whispered.

“Th-there’d been a break in, and they’d,” you had to wait until your voice stopped shaking, “they all caught the fever, besides.”

That’s when her hands stopped and you could feel her go rigid. “Was they dead or infected?”

You had no idea what she meant and were too tired to get clarification. “Both.”

“Patricia, I’m going to get you a glass, too,” Carol murmured, and stepped out.

You and the woman sat in silence. When you tried to put your shirt back on, she put a hand on your arm to stop you.

Carol came back and handed Patricia the glass filled with iced tea.

“How did you know they was infected if they was dead?” she finally voiced.

You looked to Carol because you didn’t know what to say or what Patricia meant. She returned your concerned expression and spoke up. “I think she’s asking, um…in what way you found the family.”

Patricia nodded.

“Turned.”

And the words “Infected doesn’t mean they were dead,” cursed from Patricia’s mouth in a tone of voice you’d never heard her use before.

Talk about feeling humiliated and naked and having your soul bared, you literally did not have a shirt on.

“That is what infected means,” Carol disagreed out loud, to your surprise.

Patricia countered, angry and quiet. “Infected means sick.”

But Carol remained gentle and even. “I know it hurts when you’ve lost a loved one to it, but there’s no cure because the person dies first.” She looks down and shrugged in her shy, unsure way. “That’s the one thing we can’t cure.”

“But they come back, we see it.”

“Not alive,” you were able to verbalize as your stress stutter decided to make an appearance. “Not even the CDC c-could fix it. All they found was that infected people die, and the virus takes over.”

“They ain’t found a cure yet,” the woman spat. “A lot of things can look like dyin’, the heart rate can slow—”

“—They die and you know it. What we see walkin’, it-it-it’s just their bodies, ma’am, just the basest part of the brain. The soul is,” there you went swallowing back another sob and failing, “gone because they died and are still dead.”

“We were there, Patricia,” Carol spoke up again. “At the CDC, we talked to the only man still there, we saw proof. There’s nothing left.”

“Don’t lie to me in my own home,” she warned her.

“Don’t insult guests in your own home,” you hissed back, furious that she’d accuse Carol of lying. You clenched your teeth, held back your groan as you stood, wiped the hot tears from your cheeks with your good arm, and tried to put on your shirt so you could walk out with Carol—who stopped you.

She hadn’t lost an ounce of her gentleness yet. “Y/N, don’t get angry. This family hasn’t seen what we have.”

“Well, w-we seen one who’s head got sliced off and it still tried bitin’, but they still think we’re stupid, heartless murderers for laying their bodies to rest!”

“Look what they’ve done for us.” Carol gestured to your stitches. “Look at what they’re doing to help us, what they’ve already done.” She then gestured outside to your group’s campsite, then toward where Carl’s room is.

You still fully expected to get thrown out, but Patricia sat there, lost in thought. She inclined her head to where you’d been sitting by way of inviting you to stay. You remained by the door anyway, you felt too absolutely-fucking-like-garbage to have sat down then.

“You saw one with their head cut off still tryin’ to attack?” the woman then asked, staring at nothing with her brows drawn close. “Wasn’t no nerve reflex, or, or…” she trailed off.

“They’ll keep attacking unless their brain is damaged,” Carol replied. “That’s where the virus, um—you know.” Her eyes turned wet again and she bowed her head as tears of her own fell on her lap.

After more silence, you whispered to Carol for help getting your shirt on. “I just want to lie down before Mr. Greene expects me.”

“No, sweet pea, come back. I wanna help you get some range of motion back, come on.” Patricia, who apparently could hear your whisper just fine, waved you over and patted the spot on the bed. “I’m sorry. Thank you for sharin’ with me. There’s some…things I’ll need to think more on, discuss.” To herself, she muttered, “I need to, I need to talk to Hersh about this.” She next locked eyes with the two of you. “But until then, any walkers you find on our property, tell us. Don’t do nothing, just tell us first.” Then, she pointed to you and made an apologetic smile. “And here,” she held out the mini tissue box from the far end-table. “You need one awful bad.”

The mood in the room improved. She gave an extremely thorough, long massage to your neck, shoulder, and arm muscle on your bad side. Homegirl must weight lift or something, because she gave you back so much range of motion that you created a false memory of having taken painkillers.

“You didn’t give me anythin’, Miss Patricia?”

“No, but I will before you head upstairs to shower off, maybe antibiotics, too, but let’s wait and see if you develop an infection first. Oh, and you’ll need a waterproof bandage, let me find one in here.” She rummaged around her kit, found one, and handed it to you. “Take it off the site once you towel dry.”

now

Daryl is hurt. He’s alone and hurt!

Use the walkie, brainless.

Those words snap into your (brain?) where you’re hyperventilating against the brick chimney in the back of the farmhouse. Carol has the pink one, Glenn has the yellow one; all you need to do is find one of them.

It crosses your mind that he might would’ve radioed if he was hurt.

Which in the next moment, flips into the idea that what if he’s too hurt to even use it?

Which then quickly devolves into wondering why you’re being such a dramatic idiot. He probably doesn’t even remember he has it, it’s probably turned off, and he would be too proud to use it, anyway…

…who cares, you still need to try, you need to know if your friend is safe.

You push off the wall you were leaning into and — ohh whoa.

What is — oh no, you remember this feeling.

You waver where you stand, then turn to press your forehead against the cool, rough bricks. Shoot, how are you gonna get out of this, how are you gonna get back inside?

Your body flushes with heat, your stomach turns cold, and a sensation in between pain and panic burns your chest and lungs as you try to catch your breath; you’re about to pass out for the dumb-ass mistake of not drinking enough fluids. Shittttt, why didn’t you drink that glass of tea, in the least?

“Y/N?”

Rick. That’s Rick’s voice.

“Ricky,” you slur, “don’t freak and don’t tell Shane, but I need f-faint for sec…”

................................................

Him

“Daryl, why aren’t you usin’ that walkie? This was the whole point of them, mangy hick!”

Y/N.

Y/N?

He tries to open his eyes. Did they get stitched up and have enough to drink? Is their shoulder okay? They probably have a sling again, he’d bet money on it.

“It’s okay, man, leave your eyes closed. I know you’re exhausted.” A nudge. “M’sorry, I should oughtn’tve chided you about the walkie.”

No, he wants to open his eyes, he wants to see Y/N! Everything hurts so fucking much but their voice makes him feel safer. The tugging in his chest is back full-force — Y/N is here!

“Dude, I ain’t really here, you know that.”

What? He tries to pry his damn eyes open so he can see them, he needs to see their face.

“But you do know that you’re gonna need to get up soon. Find the walkie if you can, call for help, okay? Please.” He feels their hand lightly touch his wrist. “I’m worried about you, so is Carol.” Their voice sounds like they’re smiling now. “And our Carl’s gonna want to see the doll you found. Daryl, you found her doll!” A giggle. “And you know I’m gonna wanna tease you about how you’ve ripped the sleeves off yet another of your poor shirts.”

He finally got his eyes open and saw…a blur. Green. Leaves, branches.

Y/N.  

Ugh, fuck, opening his eyes made his head hurt, though. “I can’t believe you were right about the damned walkie talkies,” he grumbles, cracking up as best he could but fuck, it hurt.

A strange static noise comes from his left. Is that the…that’s the walkie, isn’t it?

Y/N makes a face. “At least it’s nearby. I’m glad. It sounds funny, though, might could’ve gotten broken on the fall down. Maybe waterlogged.”

“I wish you were really here.” Hell, if they’re all in his head, he can be as big a pussy as he wants.

Their smile fades. As they trace their fingertips along his hairline, he could swear it felt real. “Daryl, you need to get up. I know how bad it hurts, and I’m so sorry you’re alone right now, but you need to get up. Please.”

He tries to lift his head. Pain and spinning and nausea.

So he tries to twist to his side instead and is met with more pain, that damn bolt is still lodged in there. Shit, he feels like he’s gonna hurl. “Y/N. I don’t think I can,” he admits, unable to hold back a groan.

“Quarter.”

He would have snorted, but it would make the pain worse. “Fuckin’ serious, I d-don’t—I don’t think I can—” Great, he’s starting to cry, which is making everything hurt worse because his breathing gets faster. “I don’t think I can, Y/N.”

“Bullshit. You can and you will. Now, honey — turn your head, you’re gonna get sick.”

Sure enough, he feels his mouth water, his stomach lurch, and there it comes.

Their cooing reaches his ears, just like earlier today when he was bugging out over some dirt.

It was only a second, and he was done. He turned his head back and rested it against the rock or whatever it was he was laying on. Just so damned tired…

“No. Daryl, you can’t do that, not now.” They sounded firm but still so gentle at the same time. “I-I think you need to get that thing out — I get leavin’ it in until you make it to help is the usual way of things, but it’s gonna do worse damage with it in there ’cause of where it is. You’ll be able to stop the bleedin’ better once it’s out.” They look him in the eyes again. “Do what you need to do to get yourself home to us.”

“Back there ain’t ‘home.’”

They huff. “Not with that attitude, it ain’t.”

He can’t help but smile. That’s how Y/N would’ve reacted, no damn doubt.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re not so bad at this imaginary stuff,” they tease him. “Maybe you should imagine yourself a chupacabra, encourage you to move.”

When he wills himself to open his eyes again, hoping to see them smiling, they aren’t. Instead, they look like they got the wind knocked out of them. They’re sweaty, drained, like they’d been when he’d left them back at the farm.

“This is goin’ to be rough as hell and it’s gonna hurt like it, too. But ain’t that just like so much other shit you been through? Now, you listen good,” and their finger pressed against his chest right where the tether between them was. “Don’t die, don’t get bit. I told you that as you left, Daryl. But if you don’t get up and get that thing out of your side so you can wrap it tight and come home, you are gonna die. Even if there weren’t dead people walkin’ and making things ten times more dangerous.”

How was it that he was strong enough to dig and carry and do so much just a few hours ago, and now he can’t manage turning onto his side or lifting his head? Even talking hurts right now.

“Just—Y/N, how do I get up?” he groans and winces, trying and failing again to sit upright even a little. “Why am I bein’ such a pussy that I can’t I get past this part?”

After grimacing, then mumbling for him to not use that word that way, they point behind themselves with their thumb. “I think he’s gonna have to help you with that part. I wish it could be me, but you know. Stitches and shoulder.”

“‘He?’” he repeats.

“As lost as you’ve felt without him—when he bullies you, if-if you can’t stand up for yourself, please try not to believe the lies, okay? Cruel don’t mean true, a lot of the time it’s the opposite.

He looks again to try to see who was there. Didn’t see nobody.

Y/N included. They were gone.

Upset to be alone again, and zapped from trying to lift his head and strain to see who was there, he lowers his head back down and rests his eyes.

................................................

You

“He probably doesn’t even have it on. Asshole.”

“You’re like, really upset, Y/N.”

“I guess!”

Glenn rolls his eyes. “What happened to you guys today, why are you like this? And with a sling again? And you literally fainted, Rick said?”

He’d been trying to recover an escaped chicken when he noticed Rick sitting with you on the ground, against the chimney out back while you glugged down a glass of sweet tea and a bottle of water.

“We j-just,” you don’t know how to describe it, “it was heavy, a-and I just want him back safe at home, is all. With Sophia.” You make one last attempt to contact him, lightly blowing into the walkie’s mic… before finally giving in and whispering “Daryl, please answer!” After a few moments in expectant silence that proves fruitless, you slide the walkie back into Glenn’s pocket and reach with your usable arm to pat the successfully-caught chicken he’s got snuggled in his arms like a football.

You lean back against the brick chimney and picture a teapot being taken off the burner. “And I passed out for only a mite, nothin’ exciting. Didn’t hydrate enough.”

Glenn nudges you gently with his tennis shoe. “Day’s not over yet. He’ll be back when the sun goes down.”

You inhale deeply, exhale slowly. “You’re right.”

“Tell me about earlier?”

You shake your head. “Later. Now, um, n-now’s not good.”

“Okay.” Glenn nods and looks down. “Sorry it was a bad day.”

“Maybe Sophia will come home and it’ll be a good one,” you mumble, not really believing it but wishing you did. “But we are pettin’ a chicken, so it can’t be all bad. Tell me about your day before I head back in?”

“I…tried talking to Maggie this morning. I don’t know what I was trying to do.” He rubs his face. “I brought the guitar we found on the highway over to the porch, and, I don’t know, was hoping she knew how to play so she could teach me, or something?”

Oh my. “You walked up to somebody’s front porch with an instrument you can’t play in the hopes she knew how?”

He gets red in his cheeks, forehead, and ears.

Good Moses, your face is warming on his behalf, too. “Glenn, is that where you were while we were goin’ over the day’s plans?”

“It gets better. I tried to act all tough, too.”

“You are tough, though.”

He mutters a quiet “thank you,” then stops stroking the hen in order to scratch his neck. “But, like, I tried to act all confident.”

“Confidence ain’t a bad thing,” you offer, albeit 100% out of your depth. You can offer objective advice only, not really anything from experience.

“Cockiness is, though…”

“Oh no.” Glenn acting cocky? That ain’t kosher. Maybe he’s misreading his own actions? “At least you tried? You weren’t rude or pushy or nothing, right?”

“I don’t think so? I wouldn’t want to be.”

“Did you say anythin’ that if somebody said it to you, you’d feel unsafe?”

“Ew, no.”

“Good.” You have to rub your chest for a moment to get rid of the tugging. Leave it to you to dramatize a caffeine crash and dehydration as a sign from heaven that something bad happened to Daryl. “I’m gonna head back in, Hershel donated a pint to Carl. Best make sure both are doin’ well.”

“He what? Shoot, let me find Jimmy, I’ll do more stuff around here to help out.” He helps you stand. “And hey, if Hershel brings it up—dude, I had no idea that all Jimmy’d told his mom was that he was ‘gonna help’ us, and that he didn’t end up asking Hershel.”

“That was way more on Jimmy than on you and the rest of us. You kept him safe out there, that’s gotta count in our favor.”

“Except Daryl stealing a horse is definitely not in our favor.”

You sigh and feel that strange tugging again. “We’ll make it up to them.”

................................................

Him

It felt so much better to keep his eyes closed, but someone’s standing over him now. Must be whoever Y/N said would help him get up.

What was that they said about ‘missing’ and ‘bully?’

He strains to get his eyes open so he can see whoever is above him.

His eyelids feel so damned heavy, man, he just wants to close them again.

All he can see is the green of the treetops at first.

The outline of a person’s head come into view once his vision stops being blurry.

Then it clears.

A smile finds its way to the corners of his mouth. He’s missed him. Felt so lost and out of place without him. His own blood.

“Why don’t you pull that arrow out, dummy? You could bind your wound better.”

Yeah, that was him alright. He’s missed him so much. 

“Merle.”

................................................

next part > here! <

> Masterlist link here <  

and our teeny tiny taglist :D

@spenciepoo338 @its-freaking-bats @whistlesalot @buffy-the-assbutt-slayer  @dreamingaboutthewonderland @kwazii-kat @darylsmavis​

(inbox is open if you would like on or off the taglist, slowpokes. Please don’t feel bad or nervous if you don’t want to be tagged anymore,  just let me know, we’re all friends here!) 

................................................

Bonus for those who survived til the end of Part 1:

This is why he doesn’t have any sleeved shirts left.

follow for more DIY shirt ideas #upcycle

#twd #The Walking Dead #the walking dead fanfiction #twd fanfiction #slow burn #canon compliant #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon #daryl twd #twd daryl #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon x you #daryl dixon x y/n #you x daryl #reader x daryl #daryl x reader #daryl x you #reader insert #reader insert fanfiction #reader-insert #glenn rhee #patricia twd #Carol Peletier #carol pelletier #carol twd #friends to lovers #idiots to friends to lovers #the Slowpoke series #Merle Dixon

[venusdevotea]

My Tavs!

I've been lurking on BG3 tumblr for a while, but I wanted to finally make a proper post showing off my characters! I've got a couple of campaigns going on, and I'm always looking to make new characters and explore different playstyles and think of fun lore. It's been so awesome to connect with other members of the community too, namely @basketobread's gorgeous mind and OC's, creator our best girl Lunara!

Without further ado, here is my first Tav Tal'riia!

I had originally named her Karliah after the legendary archer of the nightingales in Skyrim, but then got annoyed that her name was too similar to Karlach's, so I changed it. I usually run rogues or clerics in my irl dnd campaigns, so again she was originally a rogue but then quickly realized Astarion was a rogue too so.... to make more sense having him in my party all the time, I changed her class to ranger and holy hell was that sick as FUCK. I made her strong type at first so she gives off femme himbo vibes (lovable loser rizz) because GOD I missed like half of the content in my first run.

She is a Seladrine Drow Ranger!! Honestly haven't thought much of her personal lore because I just went for what I thought sounded super awesome to me off rip. I don't have any pictures of her in scene, because I just didn't think to take more tbh and I wasn't super proud of many of my choices and the things I missed in my excitement to finish the game asap to then.... start my next run!

Which brings us to my next two OC's, a re-run of Tal'riia's story and my first Durge Muerta! I... ended up deleting my first campaign and ran a whole do-over, since like I said, I felt increasingly dumb as time went on and after consuming more and more bg3 content online, I realized just how much I had missed in my first campaign.... SO brings us to a re-realized Tal'riia with a different skillset and playstyle. I went for sorcerer/tempest cleric, because I had heard how strong that build was, and with the cheats ring I got from the basket equipment mod, I had a lot of fun playing around. I've got a couple pics of her here:

Tal'riia 2: Electric Boogaloo Seladrine Drow Sorcerer/Tempest Cleric (I'll post more pics of her when I get back to her story!)

Of course had to also start my first Durge Run, which I chose to go a good route (I'm too nice even in rp to go full evil, but idk, I might try it soon!) and I decided to run an eldrich fighter Durge because I feel fighter makes more sense of a chosen of Bhaal than a sorcerer? But idk that's just me. Here's Muerta!

I actually have such an unhealthy obsession with her Muerta Half Wood-Elf Eldrich Knight Fighter (Yes the lightning jabber build) Heart of gold, little murder-y at times, but ultimately does resist her Urges. What's a little murder between friends!! Red rum is my drink of choice at a bar! POV: Durge is also casually your bff. Honestly pretty normal. Just don't meet the parents...... or the sister.

I'll share my next campaign in a separate post here. This campaign I'm running based on my dnd character I'm playing in an irl campaign with friends! I made our whole party in the character selection screen, but only moved forward with my character because.... there's only so many unfinished adventures I can have lol.

#bg3 #bg3 posting #bg3 tav #baldurs gate 3 #my tavs #baldur's gate iii #baldur's gate #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 oc #bg3 ocs #tav tal'riia #durge muerta #tav posting

[cosmic-bat]

I originally didn’t want to make a post about the London meet and greet because I don't want to come across like I'm bragging or anything but if anyone (@spooky-cowfish especially) really does want to read about it then here you go...

So we go into the main gig hall and the boys are all standing at the barrier, well Chris is straddling it and has trouble getting over which was quite funny. They count us a few times as everyone filters in which made it felt like a school trip😂.

After the initial hello they say they're gonna do individual photos and talking/questions so they all split off in different directions. Pi walks straight towards me and my new queue friend and we were not prepared 😂 we awkwardly say hi and take photos, he asked if I wanted anything signed and I had a small rainbow flag but I'd forgotten a pen so he said he'd come back to sign it. Can I just say his eyes are so piercing!!! Like woah!!!! He has great energy too.

Next I went to Gared and the awkwardness had gone so I managed to chat and joke with him more. He's super nice and quick witted, very funny. I managed to borrow a pen from someone and made a stupid joke about him being left handed and he went "No I'm just trying it out" 🤣😭 I'm sorry Gared. I told him to just sign anywhere but he said "No, I have to do it properly" he's so sweet!!

Then I went to Klaas and omfg, first thing I did was ask for a hug so we hugged and I squeezed his waist (it had to be done). He is so lovely, we chatted about fancy venues and he bragged about how he saw ghost years ago in a nice small venue, his favourite Ghost song is Mummy Dust btw! I can't lie, I was just staring at his long hair and cute glasses for a bit without realising🤣.

Then I got to Nik and he was the most prepared cuz he actually brought a pen lmao. Anyway he's super chill and easy to talk to, he asks you where you're from and how far you've travelled to get there. After he signed my flag I say danke cuz it just comes out naturally now and he looks me dead in the eye and says "You're welcome" LOL.

Before leaving him Pi was walking past so I called out and asked for him to use Nik's pen to sign my flag and ofc he was like "Oooo what pen am I using?😏" Nik handed him the sharpie and was like "This one, not the other one down boy. That's later" and I was standing there like 👁👄👁 wtf is happening right now.

And then Chris was left. He's just so lovely and sweet too omg! When he took my phone to take a selfie (I think we had all decided the boys to take the pics cuz they're good at it lol) he somehow changed the camera to video and omg it's my favourite thing, he says "It's filming!" when we realise it's a video and I've had it going around and around in my head for days🤣. I get a selfie with him and then he takes a pic of our shoes cuz apparently his new photo thing is shoes. My mouth works faster than my brain so I say "Wikifeet?" as a joke and he's like "No it's not a kink thing."

Anyway I ask him to sign the flag and am about to shout for anyone with a pen I can borrow again but Chris is like "I'll go steal Nik's." and he just runs off to get it🤣. I go to help him hold the flag tight so it's easier to sign like I did with the others but he's there holding it against his thigh figuring out which side is the right one😂.

Then it's the group photo in the final minutes, so everyone is walking towards the barrier, I am stupidly walking backwards and fucking walk into Nik omfg PSA: look where you're walking otherwise you may bump into a drummer! Klaas appears next to me out of nowhere then he kneels down on the floor (you can see this in the London group photo lmao), so I'm like 'oh god I'm gonna have to get down there too otherwise it'll look weird' so I awkwardly get on the floor and copy his pose cuz no way am I gonna be down there on both my knees😂 A few photos were taken with count downs done in multiple languages. Then Klaas stands back up so effortlessly and I'm there struggling cuz my platform boots are heavy. Once I'm up Klaas says "You made it!" like ha ha yeahhhh.... I should start working out😂

Finally we say bye then us lot get taken into a corridor that's on the other side of the venue instead of being let back out into the queue outside. So I'm there chatting away to my new friend and I pull out google maps to show her where abouts I live cuz we want to meet up again. But all of a sudden I feel a hand on my shoulder and a sweet "Excuse me" and I turn to find Pi behind us trying to get past LMFAO OOPS.

Honestly it was the best night of my life.

Although, I have to say one more thing. It was interesting to watch the standard queue being let in and everyone rushed to the middle and Pi's side, I was like 'well, more Klaas for me then hehe'.

#lord of the lost #lotl m&g

[billdecker]

So it's after 6am and I've had barely any sleep because my mind is racing so here's why my party went to shit. Hopefully getting this out somewhere will make me feel better. I'm sorry this is so long.

It started off feeling a bit ahhhh because my dress was a scratchy sensory nightmare. I also wore make-up. I never wear make-up because I hate how it feels on my skin so I was already feeling a bit horrible. So i changed out of my dress and felt a bit better.

Also, I invited my sister and she never showed up. I asked her to just pop in for an hour because she deserves a break (my eldest niece is going through some terrible puberty emotional stuff; been expelled from school; sister has a very misogynistic bf who does nothing to help her in the house so she's balancing everything and close to breakdown herself). So I felt upset about that but got over it and I completely understood why. It's a good job she didn't come along after all.

Things changed when alcohol happened (obvs). We had a couple of drinks and were singing along to some angry 90s girly pop and I felt really happy. I decided I didn't want any more drink for a while which BFF didn't like and kept trying to pressure me to drink more. I think that's when I started to kinda disconnect??

Anyway, she then spent wayyyyy over an hour (probably two hours tbh) just talking to my husband about her boyfriend. Telling D her bf's entire life story including really intimate details. Her bf is a musician in his spare time and he's currently working on an album. She wanted to end my playlist so we could listen to his youtube back catalogue of black metal songs. D is an expert on dealing with people who have drunk a lot (sadly; his dad was an alcoholic) so he was kinda handling all of this while I was sitting there feeling like a billy no mates at my own party. Honestly, she didn't look at me once. I'm sitting on the other settee on the other side of the room like that fucking John Travolta staring around meme.

Then when she did involve me (like, over an hour later) she starts comments about mine and D's intimate life and she's showing me all of these photos she's taken of me and saying how sexy I look in them all and I have to change them to my profile pic. I did not look great in them. I hated every single photo. Then she grabs the glowstick dick (this is a long story, it's a tradition that we make a dick out of glowsticks when we meet up) and starts rubbing it against me telling me to do stuff to the dick and pretend it's D, and if I don't wanna pretend it's D then pretend it's a couple of the men I've talked to online. I used to chat to blokes online for a bit of fun. D knew about it and never had a problem with it. It was all consensual fun stuff. I told her in confidence and didn't expect it to be brought up. I was just slowly feeling humiliated. By this point she's drunk a bottle and a half of rum (I KNOW. I only got the second bottle in bc I'd had the first for a while, sealed, but was worried about it) and I've had three drinks that I've slowly sipped over five or so hours so I'm still very sober. But I could feel myself spiralling. Like, my social battery is running out and I can't socially mask any longer so I said I was going to sit in the bedroom for five minutes because it's cooler and I'm gonna take off my make-up.

And I knew right then I just won't be able to go for the tattoo on Thursday. I don't have enough social energy left to do it. My mood has only started to get better after getting pierced. I know my own limits and I know I can't do it. Thankfully my other BFF is on the other end of Whatsapp. She's wise and really helps me to put things in a logic way when I'm spiralling. So she said to just be firm and say I'm going to bed because I'm tired and I need some rest.

So when I calmed down I did that and I thought I'd be honest about not being able to go to get the tattoo. Then things just got worse. She started saying I have to go and get it; that she, D, and my dad will practically drag me outside to do it. That we can make a whole day of it by visiting the park and then the pub (this is literally the worst thing I can do). And I'm trying to be firm and assertive and not mask and lay down my boundaries. I said no, I can't do it. I know a couple of days before I need to do something if I can do it or not. Like when I've been to the dentist or I got pierced, I might have been an anxious wreck but I knew deep down inside that I could do it. I know I can't do this. My mind won't change. She started arguing that I'll feel different on Thursday and I'm letting myself down (the other worst thing to say to me). She starts saying we should get some more rum tomorrow and have the party again because I've ended it early and it's not a proper party. Also that if I'm still drunk I'll get through the tattoo easier (wtf no). And I'm no fun, and I've been planning this for a year only to end it early by basically being a boring old fart.

By this point, I'm crying. I'm sitting there feeling like I'm being told off by my mum. She's saying all the stuff my mum would when I'd have a meltdown about having to go to family parties or if I just didn't want to go sit outside. BFF is completely ratarsed just having a go at me. She hasn't even noticed I'm crying. So I just stood and announced I was going to bed. I texted D from the bedroom to ask him if he could tidy up all of the buffet food and decorations. I lay on the bed and just silently sobbed until I kinda passed out.

I woke up when D came to bed and then I cried some more. I asked if she'd said anything about the tattoo or me coming to bed and she said she wanted to hatch a plan with him to force me to go outside. Then she started to talk more about her bf and their life and stuff that made D feel very uncomfortable. I'm going to have to do something nice for D or buy him something nice as a thank you for dealing with it all like an absolute pro. I cried into him and then had a really good chat with my other BFF about everything which made me feel better. I thought maybe I'd feel better after some sleep and I do, but in the way that it's just given me even more clarity that I definitely can go do on Thursday. My mood is still terrible and all I want to do is cry.

Tbh I just wanna stay in my room. She's here til Friday and I don't know how I'm gonna face her. D is going to cancel the tattoo for me later today and say I have covid. I might reschedule at some point and get a different tattoo just for me to celebrate my birthday. I'm so mentally drained I don't know how I'm going to get through my actual birthday on Saturday. I wanted to visit my parents but I can't even see myself leaving the flat. I feel crushed tbh. I hadn't seen her for five years. She hasn't changed. She's always been this loud and gone on and on about the men she's seeing (on my wedding day she spent 12 hours on myspace chatting to a boy she fancied, so she has form) but I think since realising I'm potentially autistic, my understanding of my behaviours has changed so I have boundaries now to prevent further mental breakdowns being worse in the long run. So I've really changed. I'm not just willingly going along with shit. I don't want to mask and I don't want to people please.

If you read this, thank you. She's here til Friday and I don't know how I'm gonna get through it because now I just wanna stay in bed, watch comfort TV, and do some work on my writing. I'm 40 years old in three days time. I'm too old for this sort of stuff to be happening. This stuff is shit that should happen 20 years ago. I just wanted a cute day where I listened to all of my favourite songs, had a beige buffet, and it was all good vibes.

Thank you all for your very sweet comments too. I kept coming to check on here to give my anxious hands something to do and reading them really made me smile while all of this stuff was going down. I have some of the best followers xxxx

[bylertruther]

the party + social media headcanons

mike would be a twitch streamer. certified #gaymer that'll play pretty much anything. malds real fucking bad (but not in a serious, toxic way just in a funny he's a sore loser that gets dunked on way) and gets baited by his chat all the time. definitely had a moment like this and when disaster struck he just immediately ended the fucking stream lmao. he let his chat bully him into the heart rate monitor challenge exactly one time and never again because they wouldn't stop teasing him over how it went up whenever will teased him during a multi-player game. he plays with the party a lot, but people are always asking will and max to come on because they loooove will and love how max roasts the shit out of him. will drew/made his subscriber emotes ofc. on his just chatting days they'll rank things, discuss the latest star wars hot topic, or talk about movies and the art of storytelling.

dustin mostly posts on youtube. he makes videos showcasing his peculiar inventions, some of which are actually really cool engineering feats and others are more like that of the "unnecessary inventions" guy's work. he's always super happy and excited about whatever he's doing and it's really contagious. he always explains everything thoroughly and titles his videos like so: SUPER COOL TITLE HERE (REAL) (NOT CLICKBAIT!). he includes a blooper reel at the end with the jokes that (rightfully) didn't make the cut.

will is an art (+gaming ofc) streamer! he streams himself drawing on twitch and it's really laid back. he'll be working away while the chat-created playlist plays in the background, looking up intermittently to see what people are saying. people like to donate or use their points to say silly things / use any of the sound effects to get his attention. he uses the Good, Professional footage to make a timelapsed video for his youtube, because twitch is just for chilling. stream titles are something like "draw with me!", "boys night", "it's a paint kind of day", or "parallel play? on MY stream? it's more likely than you think". mike hangs around a lot and el lurks. he always says hi to people and tries to answer as many of his chatters as he can. when he games he LOVES to play horror games in the dark, especially the shitty ones. he gets lots of views on those. but he plays mostly anything, too! like nintendo speedruns or he'll play smash with his viewers. he also vlogs sometimes for his youtube. just amasses little clips throughout the week or month or whatever and tosses them together for fun and to work on his more creative editing skills. he goes through his banned list on twitch and lets the community decide if they get unbanned or not like it's a court trial or something lmao.

lucas is an instagram baddie. he doesn't even try to be one, he just is. gets hella fucking likes and comments including these emojis: 😳🫠😍🔥. writes really sweet captions. makes stupid fucking bank on ads and promos. likes to post really embarrassing zoomed-in pictures of mike and dustin on his story when they hang out, then one of himself to even it out. you already Know he's got hella selfies with max and candid shots of her<3. he and will do cute poses whenever they snap a pic together, and there's a really cute snap of lucas and the twins where their cheeks are all squished together n they're cheesin' real hard (it was them out and about downtown). has a video where he makes a shot with his back turned and the entire party's going crazy cheering, shaking him, screaming, etc etc.

max would explode my head with her mind if she heard me say this, but she's also an instagram user. she posts lots of videos of her skating. she'll post her landing a new trick and then the 3984039 times she wiped out beforehand. also takes pics of her favorite tagger's (zombie boy) work. posts selfies where she's all scraped up after wiping out or where she's got a hello kitty band-aid on her face (courtesy of el, of course). a lot of her pictures are more artsy, like instead of taking a selfie, she'll take a picture of your shoes side by side, blurry candids of whoever she's hanging out with, or pictures of places she's been. doesn't always caption them, because she likes to be mysterious. replies to the party's comments and not very many other people's.

el is mostly the girl behind the camera. she takes a lot of max's videos and pictures, helps will set up his camera when he's doing a rare tutorial, and helps mike decide which picture to use whenever he posts something. still, she does her own thing, too! she loves to post her crafts on instagram and twitter. she makes jewelry and trinkets to sell on etsy. always takes pictures of her food, her good outfits, and herself. :) her instagram has a theme and she posts updates on twitter. she always likes the party's posts and comments on them. if she's lurking on someone's stream, she'll take a picture of her screen and text it to them with a random emoji. she also posts a lot of pictures of her friends with captions so sweet they'll make your teeth rot. she likes to take the party's phones and sneak a silly selfie of herself and never tell them about it lmao. takes a super zoomed in picture of you when you're not looking and texts it to you with "hi :)" attached.

byler-specific headcanons

will and mike are always on the same team if they can be.

they fucking DOMINATE at codenames, but e|max did sweep the floor with them in two rounds once which they claim was bc of cheating.

they also play lots of minecraft (yes they put their beds next to each other n share loot thank u) (and by "share loot" i mean mike drops cool shit for will and will drops bread n meat whenever mike is getting his ass handed to him). sometimes will walks up to him and mike pauses what he's doing to turn around and will just whacks him before running away or digging a hole beneath himself. will never drops anything valuable for him because every single time he's done it, mike goes and dies in the most stupid way possible right after lmao.

mike is one of will's mods and he'll ban anyone for anything.

will is one of mike's mods, too. sometimes he comes to mike's defense when ppl are clowning him, but other times he'll just make it worse by sharing an embarrassing anecdote<3 LMAO

if will is streaming, mike always chooses to raid him and it makes will smile and blush every time.

mike hates backseat gamers and it's a bannable offense for everyone except will ofc, who is coincidentally one of the worst backseat gamers of all time lmao.

will roasts mike's taste whenever he's ranking movies on stream. they get into it but come to an eventual compromise over star wars. will tells him he's hopeless n mike is trying to respond but the chat is going crazy with sound effects and spamming L in the chat which makes mike pretend to end the stream by putting his "thank you for watching" title card up on screen lmaoooo

#the party #byler hc #mine #talking 2 myself bc i like 2 have fun . and whatnot