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teecupangel · 4 months

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Desmond being bored and deciding to make a retelling of his ancestors for shaun or historians of the assassin's. Except he 'accidentally' makes it public and it goes viral, given that sometimes its Desmond and other times its his ancestors from the bleeding effect

The Assassins desperately needed a win.

After the Great Purge, the Assassins were left imprison in a sinking ship.

William Miles and Gavin Banks tried their best to protect and hide what was left but it was a losing battle.

It made people desperate.

Desperate enough to place their fate in Desmond Miles.

Desmond Miles, the runaway son of William Miles.

Desmond Miles, the descendant to Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad and Ezio Auditore.

The golden boy of the Assassins.

He didn’t really care much about him.

Rebecca Crane was his tech support so he never even met the great Desmond Miles.

He was stuck here, in the basement of a loud club in Berlin, doing his job as one of the contact persons of Erudito.

Most of the time, he just helped Erudito fuck Abstergo’s shit up.

Or try to anyway.

Abstergo does have one of the most impressive security system money can buy.

They were slowly chipping on it though.

Most of Erudito were still trying to throw rocks at the digital bullet proof system Abstergo has while he and the best of Erudito hack into another company who uses the same system to find its weaknesses that they can use against Abstergo.

They were so close to a break through.

And he may have drunk 6 or 7 energy drinks for the last 62 hours so he actually thought he was hallucinating for a moment when he clicked the link one of the Erudito hackers he was working with had spent with the message “dude, isn’t he one of yours? O.o”.

It was a youtube video.

Of Desmond Miles…

In that motherfucking (should certainly be) secret hideout in Italy.

With that motherfucking statue of Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad behind him, completely clear on view.

“So you wanted to know what Ezio was doing while he was looking for Cesare Borgia, right, Shaun? You went out and I know I’ll be back in the Animus by the time you get here so I’m recording this so you can watch it while I’m stuck in the Animus.”

“So… Cesare left Roma after he failed to kill Ezio and got sent to Castel Sant’Angelo.”

He blinked.

Was…

Was Desmond Miles giving a history lesson???

Oh, fuck, he was.

And he just namedropped Machiavelli and Leonardo as Ezio’s companions who were also looking for where Cesare was transferred after he escaped and got captured again in Firenze.

And…

He had started to speak in Italian.

Not only that…

His entire demeanor, even the way he sat had changed.

He had only heard about it.

The Bleeding Effect.

Desmond Miles was bleeding as Ezio Auditore in a fucking video in the internet.

His second phone began to rang and he prayed to every holy and demonic being that it wasn’t William Miles.

No matter what William Miles say, he cannot just scrub that video from the internet.

It was obvious (6 millions views! What the fuck!!!) that someone out there had already downloaded this video and taking it down would just spark more controversy.

He looked at the number and knew exactly who was calling him.

He accepted the call and said immediately, “What the fuck, Crane. Why did Miles upload a video to fucking Youtube?!”

Rebecca groaned and he could hear Lucy Stillman and Shaun Hastings shouting in the background, most probably ripping Desmond Miles a new one.

“The phone he used to record it automatically uploads to Youtube.”

He blinked.

“That is bullshit.”

“It’s true! It’s one of Lucy’s burner phones and she didn’t even change the settings at all! It defaulted to that kind of setting!”

“No phone has an automatic upload to Youtube and you know it.”

“I know but this one does! It’s so weird! It’s like… something weird is going on here!”

“I’d believe it more if you said Miles wanted to publish it as unlisted but fucked up.”

Rebecca groaned once more.

A phone that automatically uploads to Youtube.

That was such bullshit.

(Rebecca is telling the truth. The phone is a weird one and Lucy can’t even remember where she got it. Almost like… it was always there. Dun dun dun)

#i could have made this in the same au #as the tasting history-esque au #but nah #i wanted to make this a much more #holy shit #moment for the assassins XD #assassin's creed #desmond miles #teecup writes/has a plot #fic idea: assassin's creed #ask and answer

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demigoddessqueens · 4 months

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Gonna give the poor boys a heart attack but imagine how absolutely TERRIFIED Haytham, Shay, Connor, Arno, Ezio, Altair, and Malik would be if you got kidnapped. ESPECIALLY if it was by the other faction.

I mean, Haytham's sister was kidnapped, I think that's reason enough for him to absolutely panic if you were as well. The assassins know what the Templars are capable of. Especially Malik and Ezio. Shay always seems like he'd be extremely protective anyways.

And if you were hurt by your captors? Even tortured? Heads would probably roll and you probably aren't leaving your poor boyfriend's sight ever again.

First off, how dare you??! 😭💔

Second, oh boy , buckle up

haytham

he feels like his chest is about to cave in from how rapid his heart is beating when he hears the news

It’s all hands on decks to look for you and find you

when he finds you, he rushes to your care immediately and the stern facade falls as silent tears fall

shay

if this was when he’s an Assassin, he’s INCREDIBLY impulsive and hot-headed and will do anything to get you back

Templar-wise, it goes the same way only there’s more of a vicious element to it because it’s the Assassins he once knew

ultimately, when you are safely returned, he refuses to leave your side at all times

connor

There will be no remaining Templars who know peace for the short time they have remaining

This man will go above and beyond to find you, even against the better judgment he knows of what will be a dangerous situation

the moment he has you back with him, he insists to help you with anything, everything and refuses to leave your side

ezio

Oh why torture this poor man?? All of Italy and the Borgias will know his wrath!!

He REFUSES to let what happened to Cristina happen to you

As soon as you’re returned home, it’s all hands and allies on deck to help you recover, all under Ezio’s watchful eye

arno

Everything feels like it’s crashing down and he’s barely hanging on by a thread

Also a disaster like Ezio but amped up more, sobbing flashbacks between seeing your face and Elise’s

Once you’re back home, he’s always there to help you through the nightmares and gets emotional when you try to sleep or help replace your bandages

malik

Livid and so afraid for you, but he hides it behind barking orders

Altair knows better than to interfere but does all he can to help his friend

Once you’re back home, Malik constantly holds to you and worries for your safety

altair

He is livid!! The entirety of Masyaf and Jerusalem will be scoured by every inch to find you. Behind closed doors those golden eyes betray his heartbreak

No Templar is safe from his blade and he cuts them down easily

Having you back home requires all of his attention when you recover, heal and the Flying Eagle himself never letting you go far at least not without him

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thatlittleegyptologist · 2 months

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I wanted to watch the Borgias again, so I turn on my TV with my on demand shows that I pay for, and since it was a Showtime show it should be fine to still watch this way as Showtime shows are included in this on demand package.

Nope. It now requires a subscription to Paramount+

Okay cool. 🏴‍☠️⚔️

#I watched this show legitimately so many times and now I can just go fuck myself I guess

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princesssarcastia · 3 months

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delighted by the series finale of the borgias

holy shit!!!!!

FUCK!

let me start again.

the slowest burn

the slowest burn on this show was not, in fact, lucrezia/cesare—it was cesare/the papal armies. it was cesare/his father's trust. Cesare could only find himself in possession of these things at the very end because they're overwhelmingly transformative. We spent two seasons watching his brother, Juan, faff about, completely inept, unable to accomplish almost any task the pope sets for him. And then! Cesare takes command and it really is like god smiles on him and everything is suddenly possible. Suddenly, for one shining moment, it seems like the world really is ripe for the taking.

This was of course foreshadowed as far back as the first episode, when Cesare, cloaked in an archbishop's robes, steps in with a sword to easily, handily, save his brother from two random dudes he got into a fight with on the street. It's perfectly emblematic of what's to come.

Micheletto and the case of courtly love

The return of Micheletto!!!! Micheletto my love!! My darling dearest. Talk about the platonic ideal of courtly love—his devotion to Cesare, his love for Cesare, his impulse to serve him, outweighs even his hatred and his grief. To have him come back one last time, grant Cesare one last gift, one that wins him his first battle decisively? How utterly fantastic.

And of course, when Micheletto says it's over and done with and he's dead as far as anyone is concerned, Cesare lets him go. First of all, because there's no way in hell he could stop him. Second of all, because of course Cesare loves him, too. Trusts him.

One great parallel drawn is between Cesare/Micheletto and Caterina/Rufio. Two nobles who remain ennobled by their left hands of death whom they trust utterly and, apparently, love beyond anyone else. Cesare lets Micheletto go...and Caterina lets Rufio go. Gives him her blessing to go serve a new master once she's finally gone—once he ensure that she's finally gone. You could read it as Caterina searching to put a failsafe into place, to put someone in Cesare's household that can one day free her or continue to work to her ends. But honestly? I think the most Rufio will ever do for her again is slip into her rooms one night and see her dead, like she asked. A last kindness for the Lady he served his whole life.

Caterina Sforza meets her end

Caterina Sforza, my love, you were fantastic, and you lost in a spectacular fashion fitting your spectacular legend and comportment. Ten more sons! The Tigress of Forli indeed!

I thought her storyline was also tragically beset by in-universe sexism; the way those other Italian lords abandoned her cause for Cesare the second he gathered an army of his own must have burned. Certainly, it ensured there was no way for her to win. But everything she accomplished in spite of that is all the more impressive, to the very end.

It's also interesting, because as she had to deal with sexism, so too have the Borgias dealt with that classic european mix of nativism and racism, and no one else spells it out quite like Caterina does. At the very end, the second she's well and truly lost:

"Damn you, Spanish half-breed," she says to Cesare, who just prevented her from killing herself.

Her family was originally supposed to be allied with the Borgias! The Sforzas and the Borgias, bound together by Lucrezia's marriage to her first husband. But the Sforzas spurned the alliance at every turn, refusing to provide the promised military aid, and on a more personal level, allowing Giovanni to beat Lucrezia and generally treat her like shit.

Why? Because the Borgias are outsiders. Because they're a bunch of Spaniards in an Italian world, and the italians can't help but punish them for it. Why should the Sforzas keep their word to a bunch of spanish half-breeds?

Why should a bunch of italian men keep their word to an italian woman?

Caterina Sforza sits at a very neat intersection of prejudices, and I find it fascinating.

Lucrezia now firmly resides in a tragedy

There's also a fantastic comparison to be had between Cesare's love for Lucrezia and his love for Micheletto. Both of them, he would trust with power and authority—he tells his mother he misses Micheletto's counsel and skill. He tells Machiavelli he would make his sister the regent of Naples. But here lies the difference: Micheletto he would allow to walk free, to live as he chooses. Lucrezia will never, ever be afforded that privilege. Never.

"You will be naked, and clean, and bloodless again. And mine."

FUCK.

Watching him kneel at her side, as she lies next to her husband's recent bloody corpse, and try to wipe her clean...that's romance. Creepy, terrifying, devoted love. An insidious inversion of the tender care he's shown for her the whole show up to this point. He'll continue to love her, care for her and her son and her happiness, no doubt. But there can also be no doubt that Lucrezia is completely at the mercy of a much more powerful man once again.

Literally the last lines of the whole show is a creepy incestuous declaration of possession. Cesare owns Lucrezia, now. I'd be shocked, in this universe the show constructed, if she ever married again. Certainly, now that their father has given Cesare the keys to the kingdom, has decided he'll trust his first-born son with both their ambitions, I can't see him denying Cesare anything, even Lucrezia—so long as he's discrete.

I mean...the pair of them DID keep making out in front of servants and also minor lordlings who owe Cesare allegiance. It's not like it's a total secret at this point. And still, they follow him.

Poor Lucrezia. I think if Rodrigo and Cesare had literally just included her, treated her like, if not an equal, at least someone with skin in the game whom they trust, this could have turned from the tragedy it was to a triumph, for her.

Instead, she has to beg for scraps of news Rodrigo can barely give her, and grant her husband a mercy killing after her brother stabs him mortally but doesn't finish the job.

Cesare's new preoccupation with legitimacy

There's also a fantastic scene between Cesare and Vanozza, his mother. His mother, the courtesan, the whore, who offers her son her counsel, offers to ride to war with him so he has someone he can trust by his side! Something he had just finished telling her he desperately missed (Micheletto my love you are irreplaceable)

And...he turns her down.

He not only turns her down, he does so in a way that's eerily reminiscent of his dead brother, Juan. His dead brother whom he murdered.

"I would not be the son of a whore," Cesare says to his mother, the whore. Suddenly, after his father shared his dream of creating a Papal Bloodline, to be passed down to Cesare so he in turn can pass it down to his own son...suddenly, now, he begins to care about the very perceptions that eventually drove Juan to dangle his nephew over a balcony and sign his own death warrant. It is, to me, the second most chilling moment in the whole episode, after what he says to Lucrezia.

Now, Vanozza might not be trapped like her daughter, but she may soon be consigned to insignificance, without any responsibility or meaning, but also without any power. Relevant only as much as Cesare loves her or wants to see her. Which, before this episode, I would have said was quite a lot! But if he's about to descend into the same game of legitimacy and legend and perception his brother did...perhaps not so much.

Rodrigo and Cesare and the death of daddy issues

We spent three seasons watching Rodrigo dismiss and belittle and refuse to trust Cesare, but finally, in this episode, we come to see the truth: that he always meant for Cesare to succeed him in the only way that matters to him: in the church. He made him a cardinal so he could one day be pope, after him! Made him a prince of the church! But Cesare was also right to miss and lust after traditional station of power, after the dukedoms and armies he amasses after forcing his father to let him renounce his position as cardinal, because the empire they both want to build is impossible without them.

Still: to realize, with Cesare, that even though Rodrigo sees so much of himself in Cesare, he still planned from the beginning to make Cesare his true heir...what a payoff. What a relief. What a consolation for years of feelings of inadequacy! Of never being enough!

No wonder he's riding high, immortal, invincible, Cesar come again. All his daddy issues went "poof" and left him, well, clean.

All told?

In the end, having now watched all of it, I have to say the whole show was marvelous. Politics, intrigue, romance, forbidden romance, the things people do for family or for love or for both, the things they do for power, how lonely it is to sit at the pinnacle of the world. The costuming, the writing, the dialogue, it's all so compelling, and I frankly recommend it to anyone with even a passing interest in period dramas

P.S.

Contender for funniest line in the whole fucking show:

"Primogeniture is the future," the pope of rome says.

CACKLING oh my god. that's hilarious. definitely, that is a thing that will happen for the papacy and the world at large.

SureJan.gif

#the borgias #analysis #cesare borgia #micheletto corella #lucrezia borgia #caterina sforza #rodrigo borgia #vanozza borgia #honorable mention: juan borgia #im probably going to go read some biographies now lol #would love to learn about the irl people these characters are based off of #i didn't know until i started watching this #that machiavelli's 'the prince' was based off of...an actual guy?#thought he was just talking in theory #but no! there's a real guy who he thinks was the best most specialest guy ever #and that guy is cesare borgia. the titular prince as it were #we learn new things every day and especially through art

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zvtara-was-never-canon · 2 months

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what is your second most favorite otp from any series?

AAAAAAHHHHH, DON'T DO THIS TO ME! There are some many pairings I love in so many books, movies, series, soap-operas, etc.

*sighs* Okay, gun to my head, there's three, in no particular order that I absolutely ADORE, have made me cry, and that I legitimately don't understand how anyone could watch these shows and not ship them (spoilers for Friends, How I Met Your Mother and The Borgias, respectively)

Monica and Chandler

Because I was just 4-years-old when Friends final season was aired, I already knew these two were going to be endgame when I watched the show - and it didn't take long for me to see the appeal, even when they were still supposed to be just friends.

They're just so affectionate with each other right from the start, cuddling on the couch, helping each other out - and Chandler just casually says stuff like "If neither of us is married when we're fourty, I'm totally willing to marry and have a kid with you just so you get the family you want" and actively tries PROVE to her he is boyfriend material and they make a game out of it??????? Genius. Perfect. Amazing.

And then it happens, they hook up and right away they're couple goals. Can't keep their hands off each other, are super clingy, all of their friends find them ridiculously adorable, Chandler matures A LOT and Monica is very patient with him because she knows he's used to hiding any emotional turmoil behind a sarcastic joke, and they can joke about and tease each other without either of them being too mean or too sensitive.

Also their conflicts never last more than one or two episodes and they never break up after first getting together, and it was a breath of fresh air coming from the same show that gave us Ross and Rachel.

Barney and Robin

They have INSANE chemistry, Robin was the only woman Barney was truly willing to change for, and Barney was the one guy Robin was with that ever truly liked her for who she was.

They. Deserved. So. Much. Better.

Seriously, I can't get over how unfair their ending was. There's a reason I tell Zutarians to give this show a watch before they complain about how their ship, that was never even canon, was "robbed of it's happy ending."

We see Barney and Robin being teased as potentially having at least a fling someday as early as season 1, they finally hook up in season 3, season 4 is all about him struggling with being in love with her, seasons 5-7 are all about them dating then breaking up while still being very much in love yet never properly reconciliating because life gets in the way, season 8 is them getting engaged and being adorably happy together, the 9th and final season is THE WEEKEND OF THEIR WEDDING and them working through every last issue they still have to make sure they will a long, happy life together as a married couple...

Then the finale goes and says "Actually, they divorced off-screen because their hotel room had no wi-fi. Sorry." WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT? It's really no wonder the network cancelled the planned spin-off right after the finale aired.

Cesare and Lucrezia

Ah yes, a Nichya list of great ships includes a pair of siblings, specifically Older Brother X Young Sister, who would have thought? This time a kind of, sort of historical one! (Seriously, The Borgias is the kind of over-dramatic, historically inaccurate period piece I love wasting my time with, and the aesthetic is incredible).

Even as someone who is very into that kind of dynamic and that knew the show was gonna go there, I was still SHOCKED at how unsubtle is right from the start - especially once I found out the writer didn't want to play up the sexual tension originally.

Somehow, the first time we see these two on screen, Lucrezia is spying on her brother as he has sex and once he notices he playfully chases her around the garden, berating her for spying on him AGAIN, and then when they're on the ground together he just casually admits to loving her more than he loves God????????????????????????????? NORMAL SIBLING BEHAVIOR, EVERYBODY! NOTHING WEIRD GOING ON HERE!

I adore how protective (and possessive) Cesare is of her, ready to commit murder at the very thought of a man mistreating her - yet he is still willing to step aside when he thinks she found a good man, because nothing matters to him more than Lucrezia's happiness, not even his own. It just so happens that he always has to step in again because nobody loves her quite to insane degree he does, and thus she only feels truly safe, happy and loved with him, hence her saying "Only a Borgia can truly love a Borgia."

And they, legitimately, are insepareble. They're always close to each other, holding hands, hugging, cuddling, KISSING - all long before they're ready to admit, even to themselves that they're in love.

They are so clueless about what level of physical affection is normal between relatives that they made out in front of her husband and were surprised he found out about their incestuous affair.

And more importantly, thanks to the show being cancelled after season 3 instead of getting the planned fourth season, they never broke up! The show literally ends with them in each other's arms, accepting their love. I couldn't have asked for literally anything else.

#robin x barney #swarkles #monica x chandler #mondler #cesare x lucrezia

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zalrb · 6 months

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I just finished the borgias, one of your posts a while ago motivated me to watch it, I dont know if you're still answering asks about this but I wanted to talk about something that's been going around my mind.

When Lucrezia refused Alfonso on 3x04, do you think it was because a part of her thought she and Cesare were together then? As in, despite him avoiding her gaze after, do you think she thought there was hope about it happening again in the future so she wanted to be "faithful" to him and taking advantage of Alfonso's seemingly innocence to convine him to have a sexless marriage for as long as she could?

It could also be that after finally sleeping with the man she trully loved, it was hard to get in the mood with her husband, since before she seemed on board with sleeping with him an felt rejected when Alfonso didn't want to.

But I really like the idea of Lucrezia having hopes of her and Cesare being in a relationship, despite her marriage.

I will always be open to Cesare and Lucrezia asks. And this is an interesting one! I think it's a combination of both things, the latter leading to the former. So, I would say that it's more than it's hard for Lucrezia to get in the mood with Alfonso after sleeping with Cesare, I would say that the physical realization of her and Cesare's romantic love was transformative

like there was an internal shift that makes sleeping with anyone else an impossibility to her

like how would it be possible for her to feel anything with any other man

when she and Cesare have finally, finally stopped lying to themselves and the truth of their feelings has been laid bare to both of them.

And because of that impossibility, it becomes a sort of faithfulness to Cesare, a sort of resistance to betraying what was realized, which is why when I broke down 3x04, I spoke about how when Cesare tells Lucrezia about her having to consummate her marriage in front of Alfonso's uncle, there are two levels of anger :

and then lucrezia’s multi-layered anger, the first level of anger at how could you possibly ask me to do this, it’s embarrassing, it’s degrading, it’s humiliating

and then the second layer of how could you possibly ask me to do this, you who I love more than anyone and anything, me who you love more than anyone and anything and cesare is just determined to stay calm and detached and to just take it

and then she reiterates that she loves him because she whimpers that right before he kisses her

and the fact that he kisses her instead of just holding her or instead of just saying i don’t want you to do this speaks to what i believe is the primary issue, which is lucrezia’s second layer of anger, which is i’m in love with you, i’m not sleeping with my husband because this love between us has been realized, do you honestly not feel this with the same intensity, are you honestly okay, as the man that i love, with everything that’s happening right now? and the kiss being an affirmation of love that is not familial love

so I do think because of this shift, this transformation, this impossibility of true affection with anyone else, which they later reiterate in Relics

Lucrezia, at the time of her initial abstaining, had hoped for them to keep a sort of physical faithfulness to each other as well as a spiritual one.

#the borgias #cesare x lucrezia #lucrezia x cesare #lucrezia borgia #cesare borgia #francois arnaud #holliday grainger

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dangermousie · 6 months

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So, further pushing for New Tales of the Gisaeng...

This is a 50 ep family drama so it has a lot of narratives but I was in it for Damo, an icy upper class scion and Saran, a working class dancer with a birth secret.

Some reasons why you should watch:

He's smitten at first sight when he sees her perform...

He has a giant half-naked portrait of himself in his room. As he should. Look at those abs!

He's set up with a rich girl but he has no interest. Instead he sends flowers to Saran with this sign and the nerd in my DIES because this is a pun on his name which is Ah Damo (aka Salvadore Adamo, a French singer whose most famous song is...you guessed it...Tombe La Neige)

He invites her to a hotel and she makes him kneel in the street for treating her like a hooker. I have a whole post about it. And then later, they have wacko convos like:

Damo: Let's try a 'clean' love. I won't touch you in any way unless you initiate it. We'll see where it will all go. Saran: How do I know you won't try to get handsy again? Damo: If I try, I'll marry you. I can sign a contract if you wish.

Spoiler - she initiates a whole bunch of touching...

Poor dude has to literally recite "Our Father" not to grab her :P

She learns to play catch because he said he always wanted to do it with daddy evilest but daddy never bothered; and he fantasizes proposing to her and then freaks because he's in too deep and dumps her. Because he's a functional person from a functional family. He says it's because of status but we all know it's because he's a coward terrified of how obsessed he is.

On top of that, poor woman learns she's adopted blah blah her whole life has been a lie. So she decides to do the one sane thing: BECOME A GISAENG!!!! That woman takes "I will show you how unsuitable and tainted I am" to new levels and I love it. Meanwhile ML who doesn't know is losing his mind not having her in his life and is all "why don't you be MY SISTER!" ahahahaha omg hi Borgia! This is FL's are you insane face.

Anyway he finds out she's a gisaeng and tries to drag her away...

When he's begging her to quit and telling her he'll start a dance troupe just for her and she tells him "don't you dare" and to use this money instead to come to gisaeng house "and I'll play with you." He tells her he can't work or do anything except to think about this and she comments he's selfish to the end, just thinking how things affect him. And he asks her if she's going to guests' rooms and she says "next week". It gets better! He asks her how will she feel with drunks' holding her hands and she says she only feels things when they hug her. And he hauls off and slaps her and she slaps him back, harder. And there is a beat while he looks at her and then he grabs her into a hug and just won't let go but she struggles free and hits him again, repeatedly. And he tells her "you said you only feel when they hug you" and she snarls at him "bring money to the gisaeng house and make an appointment."

He comes to the gisaeng house with a friend because he knows she won't see him.

He proposes marriage with the world's biggest ring and gets turned down!!!

He does the sane thing and volunteers to work as the servant in the gisaeng house to show her he is serious and gets to call her my lady, flip her shoes and wipe her mouth and give her all his money. As one does.

He gets to scrub the floor on his hands and knees and watch her serve the guests...as one does.

He makes her soup in the middle of the night and begs her to come away with him. (When she asks if it's from pity and he looks at her and says "love. It's for love. What else do you have to offer?") Also, because he's Damo and therefore generally odd, he tells her working all these menial tasks as a servant made him really get into perfect physical shape so they should get married asap so as to take advantage of that.

He finally loses it after a client insults her badly and demands she leave with him. Her reaction? Have water poured on him.

His reaction? All right lady, I am bringing out the big guns and removing my shirt.

They are FUCKED UPPPPPPP

Shortly after, we get this. Mixed signals queen! I love you! (He tells her she's so awesome if they get married, she'd be marrying down.)

Yup, we have aristo wooing a quasi-hooker. Who is all "fine, I will be your mistress but I won't marry you, and if you won't mistress me, I will take another lover." And so she does - or is about to - and he crashes it all defeated and kneeling and begging and groveling and telling her he will give in and make her his mistress just not to leave himmmm.

And she's finally "OK, fine, you win, I will make an honest man out of you!"

And then we get 20 more eps of glorious insanity and his family cutting him off etc etc. Delish.

This drama ate my year back way when.

#kdrama #new tales of the gisaeng #sung hoon #im soo hyang

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unhelpfulfemme · 3 days

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Once again I participate in the "get to know your mutuals" chain mail meme (I'm 100% this is not the correct term but my brain is really fried atm), this time I was tagged by @stripedroseandsketchpads :D I feel like I do this every two months at least so I'm kind of out of people to tag who haven't done it recently, and I've also been kind of dissociated from Tumblr due to work stress so I don't remember if I added anyone new recently :/ So whoever wants to do it, let's pretend I tagged you :D

Last song I listened to: Them Crooked Vultures - No One Loves Me & Neither Do I - I just discovered this band! Even though it's made up of really famous people from other more famous bands! And I really like it!

Currently watching: The Borgias. So far it's... okay? I'm enjoying the character beats but the actual plotty plot (i.e. the politics and wars) is so slowly paced and overly linear. They seem really scared of the audience not getting it so they only allow one plotty thing to be happening at any given time, and they make sure to spell everything out at least once per episode. Which is... not what I'm used to in my historical political drama (quite the opposite in fact!). Perhaps I could have benefited from this approach if it were a fantasy world or a country I don't have much to do with (I remember having to open up a map of Scotland so many times while reading the first Lymond because they kept going from one city to the other and I didn't know where they were in relation to each other), but it's set in my own country and half of the "as you know" recaps are just basic Italian geography for the anglophone audiences lol. After the fifth time one well-educated character explains to another well-educated character that Florence is in the north-west and Naples is south of Rome, I kind of want to scream. The pronounciations are also all over the place - three guys are sitting at a table looking each other in the eyes and pronouncing "Medici" 3 incorrect ways, at least they could have streamlined it between the actors. Like far be it from me to demand proper pronounciation with the way Italians butcher English words constantly, but at least make it consistent! Luke Pasqualino is the only one pronouncing anything as it should be pronounced, and I really felt bad for him in that scene where Lucrezia keeps asking him to say her name and they're both repeating it over and over, because he's the only one pronouncing it correctly while she's saying it as if she had a mouth full of rocks. Btw my favourite Holliday Grainger fucking up the Italian scene so far is when she needs to ride breathlessly up to the French king and say a long line about her brother Juan the Gonfaloniere and basically she's supposed to repeat "Gonfaloniere" several times and you can literally see her going "my brother is the gonfalonsajkdnajsdsbaj" and making a "fuck it, whatever" expression when she gets to the complicated part. Anyway I am enjoying the show, the pronounciations make me laugh they don't make me mad. And the costumes are gorgeous!

Sweet/spicy/savory: Savory or spicy, depending on the mood. I dislike sweet things.

Current Obsession: Nothing really, I've been really tangled up with RL things and am feeling vaguely anhedonic because I keep thinking about work, so it's hard to get into something haha. This is actually why I'm able to focus on the Borgias, because they have quite low bandwidth requirements (i tried to watch it before and found it slow-ish). This too shall pass I suppose :)

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liaa--qb · 4 months

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Why, do you think, helaemond is more popular on ao3 than alysmond?

see people like that particular ship more and why they like it ? I am gonna say this answer very clearly in simple words as general audience/reader. I read FnB after watching HOD s1( n I still don't know why this book has so much hype cz it was just normal😑 if I compare it with my other favourite fantasy books). I dk wtf happens on twt, I am not twt stan thankfully that place is worse, some of my friends r so Ik how rubbish some people behave there .

Aemond to me is a character who is someone very perfect material for ETL ships or forbidden ships😂. I myself find Rhaena/Aemond or Aemond/strong daughter of Rhaenyra ship way more interesting than alysmond but that's never gonna happen😅

Then there's Helaemond which is also a forbidden ship. Main point of these ships would be that " Aemond is the typical bad guy who will fall for someone good.🤡🎃" That's how mostly fanfics n reader works usually go for in every fandom😹. Same thing kinda goes for Halaemond , as Helaena is pure Angel while Aemond is a villian. It's giving all typical bad guy-good girl dynamic with forbidden incest which actually suits HOTD alot😅, recreating borgias scandal again !

These are the major ships of Aemond -

Aemond with strong bastard of Rhaenyra

Aemond with any girl on team black side( daughter of Daemon/Rhaenyra)

Aemond with Helaena

Readers and writers like these following ships of Aemond more than any canon so ofc they would go for that whether it's ao3, Wattpad or anything. Aemond and normal servant or any other oc is more famous than alysmond 😭 and it's just reader's choice, no one forced them.

Moreover the way Aemond is , he is someone who would definitely go for valerian targ blood girl if his narcissist ass had any chance.

I usually don't get attracted to incest alot. I adore dany but I am still not fond of Jon/Dany 😭 & never will. It's all chemistry. Milly n Matt also had good chemistry 🔥 I got attracted to halaemond during episode 8, 9. Idk but chemistry was real good when they were just staring at each other. I still don't know why that guy turned his whole fucking chair to watch her dance with Jace !

Halaemond is providing more content for drama, forbidden, incest, cheating on green side and they do have a chance of becoming a kinda forbidden tragic couple. In short their couple actually reminds of something 'hamlet n Ophelia', very much. One can write alot if they want to n unlike other ships of Aemond it actually has chance on screen. So why not ?

though I appreciate every ship including alysmond too but I genuinely don't consider it was any romantic ship just the way some Stans like to say n I have reasons for it. It was sexy, they were partners with benefits like melisandre and stannis but never romantic to me. Who knows I might get attracted to alysmond if gayle and ewan's chemistry turned out to be good. It's different for everyone, right now to me other ships of Aemond have more appeal than alysmond, [nothing against alysmond 🙌 ] it's just my own preference n I am not shaming or forcing anyone.

#house of dragons #aemond targaryen #aemond one eye #helaena targaryen #aemond x helaena #hotd fandom #helaemond #hotd aemond #hotd imagine #hotd thoughts #hotd fanfic #house of the dragon

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potpourri-of-ecclecticism · 2 years

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I’ve been watching The Borgias (2011, Showtime) recently, and you can see that I have already GIF-ed a few scenes on my blog. I have perused the show tags on Tumblr, and one question caught my attention - how is Cesare’s love for Ursula different from his love for Lucrezia. In the earlier episodes, I camped with those who said that Ursula was his first “serious” love, while what he felt for Lucrezia was infatuation and possessiveness rooted in their blood connection. Cesare, from the beginning, is shown to be a young, hot-blooded lad who cannot keep his emotions in check around his sister. But when Ursula enters the picture, coinciding with Lucrezia getting married and physically separating from Cesare for the first time, he does what he knows best - becomes Ursula’s saviour (not before he saves his sister one last time from the grips of her vicious new husband). So, Cesare and Ursula go around town, not being able to keep their hands off each other, hearts racing every time they meet, and then he sleeps with her, following which, she decides to spend the rest of her life serving God. This leaves Cesare heartbroken, as much he conveys to Lucrezia when she visits for the first time after her wedding. So, we know that he was in love with Ursula briefly. It was a whirlwind romance for him, ONE THAT WAS DIFFERENT FROM WHAT HE FELT for Lucrezia.

These theories become apparent in the season 1 finale episode, when both the women come face-to-face, with Cesare in the picture. Cesare leaves Lucrezia with Ursula, now going by the name sister Martha, to help hide Lucrezia’s illegitimate pregnancy (as per her wishes). The conversation goes like:

He is focused on Ursula thus far, having met her after a long time (presumably). But when Lucrezia says this, he looks at her momentarily:

appreciating the fact that she understands the tribulations Ursula must have gone through to make this choice for herself, just like he did a few episodes earlier. THEY ARE ON THE SAME PAGE REGARDING URSULA.

Ursula then replies:

To this, Cesare’s gaze again flits from lady love to sister:

The gaze he gives to Ursula says that he is listening closely, weighing her words and interpreting her intentions all at once, but the moment she pulls in Lucrezia into the equation, his gaze softens, like as though saying “I know right, I’ve been distracted by [her beauty] for so darn long”!

Then Ursula takes Lucrezia’s hand and leads her to her room, giving her friendly advice along the way. As she does this, Cesare stops her and warns her that he will be visiting them often. They have a bit of a tensed back and forth, where he teases Ursula with his passive aggressive words and expressions (L bearing witness):

As an aside here, it is pretty interesting to see that Cesare addresses Ursula as ‘SIster’ instead of the usual ‘Sister Martha’ (even for formality sake in front of another individual), almost like there seems to be an intentional ambiguity as to whom he is relaying the message. He’s looking at Ursula, his tone is provocative, but his phrasing and the message in itself is tame, something he’d want to tell Lucrezia in private (as is evident from the jubilant smile she gives in reciprocation). It may well be that the message is for Lucrezia, and Cesare uses morose humour to indulge Ursula in the process. But I digress.

Back to the scene, he then turns to Lucrezia. Immediately, his expressions soften once again, a heavy burden descends in his heart as he realises the gravity of his sister’s condition and not knowing when he’ll see her next. Much like what he felt at the time of her wedding, a sense of déjà vu swarms over him, of his vulnerability, that led him to meet Ursula in the first place. The camera work in this moment also reinforces what truly matters to Cesare: it pans away from Ursula and lumps the siblings up together, the movement is so smooth and exquisite that we as viewers can see Cesare GRAVITATE towards Lucrezia and her receiving him whole-heartedly. This moment cements the fact that Ursula is all but a passing phase in Cesare’s life, one that he can control, while Lucrezia is... his basic instinct.

In a crowded room, Cesare and Lucrezia will somehow ALWAYS find each other and come together. They ditch all public etiquette and become IMMERSED in one another, acutely sensing what the other needs and giving/receiving without the fear of social stigmas attached to their actions. Everything is INVOLUNTARY when it comes to this duo.

The energy at this point also turns much more serious and beguiling, almost seductive (as with all their scenes), when compared to the passive aggressive banter Cesare has with Ursula moments ago. How his demeanour and expressions change between Ursula and Lucrezia is very telling of the fact that Ursula was a fleeting love, while Lucrezia is a permanent impression on his soul, like the crucifix on Jesus Christ. He loves(d) Ursula with his heart, while he loves Lucrezia with his soul.

#the borgias #lucrezia x cesare #cesare x lucrezia #cesare borgia #lucrezia borgia #ursula bonadeo #meta #personal #discussion #love #attraction #parallels #cinematography

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darklinaforever · 2 months

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Yes of course... You clearly need to get the shit out of your eyes cleaned. If while Daemon is having sex with Rhaenyra you see him making a quick deal even though it's explicitly quite slow and gentle (makes sense since she gave birth not long ago) I don't know what to say other than that shit in your eyes must be powerful once again. And like I said before... As if he hadn't squeezed her thigh in his hands ? As if he didn't caress her face again before resting his forehead on hers ? Oh and if you watch from 1 minute and 14 seconds to 1 minute and 17 seconds Daemon actually puts his arm under Rhaenyra to hug her too. So he's also hugging her as much as she's hugging him. Then as if the sex itself hadn't been slow and tender ? Saying that he's done with sex with her as soon as possible is the biggest bad joke I've seen. 😂

So... Rhaenyra was 19 years old. An adult then. But the information is clearly having trouble getting to the brain... Laena was 16 years old, marriageable for the time of Westeros. You don't understand what a feudal / historical context entails do you ? The fact that a man of Daemon's age would marry a young woman of 16 years old is not shocking in context. It's inspired by fucking feudal times. If you want to accuse Daemon of being a predator for marrying a 16 year old woman, complain about how society worked at the time. No Daemon. Otherwise you can also complain about almost all the men of the time! And it had nothing to do with predation! Idiot... But given your level of understanding I imagine that for you all men of that time were predators... Also Laena was 22 years old in the book. Not 16 years old. In the series and book Mysaria is a fully adult woman. Rhaenyra may be younger in the book than in the series when Daemon asks for her hand, but depending on the era, Rhaenyra was also of marriageable age. Whether it's the series or the book, the women in Daemon's life therefore have varying and different ages, they are not all located in the same youth age group that you promote to try to make him pass for a predator attracted specifically to young girls. You really look ridiculous at this point. Honestly, thanks for proving that you know nothing about the book Fire and Blood and basic feudal society. Oh and at the risk of annoying you... Nettles has never been proven. And never will be in Fire and Blood.

I've seen both versions of The Borgia series, and Cesare & Lucrezia don't have any toxicity ? Lol. They do, just in a different way than Daemyra from the series. Also I repeat Daemyra is not grooming, book and series. On the other hand, the only thing I can say with certainty about Cesare and Lucrezia's love is that compared to all the crap that goes on in this series and their family, they are definitely pure in comparison. And what do you do with Hades and Persephone ? Literally one of the healthiest relationships in Greek mythology ? 😭😂

For the thousandth time, I obviously know the definition of grooming and historical context and you don't. Dameyra is not a grooming book and series.

Oh and Daemon didn't kill Rhea Royce in the book.

And since we're staying on the series... it's hard to understand that Rhaenyra is 19 years old in this fucking episode 4 and 5 ? An adult and not a child !

You must really have a shitty life to come and repeat the same shit over and over again anonymously as if it's going to change anything in reality.

You don't need a doctor ?

You almost never talk about Criston Cole and the other men. Stop pretending to care about Rhaenyra. You're literally the type of person who says you can't wait to watch her get abused over and over again. Daemyra is not grooming, I literally for the thousandth time wrote a huge article about this but YOU ARE DEAF ! You don't understand the definition of the word and what a historical context implies. You are a bunch of idiot butchers. I never denied the toxicity of Daemyra in the series, non-existent in the book because again HISTORICAL CONTEXT ! Once again, go read @horizon-verizon it might educate you. And I NEVER claimed Daemon was Prince Charming. What do you not understand about a gray and complex character ?! Unless for you a gray and complex character is in fact incapable of loving a woman and having a healthy relationship with her ?!

Oh, and I have already said I don't know how many times that I recognized that Daemyra had toxic aspects in the series version, except that, so what ? This will prevent me from shipping the Daemyra version of the series maybe ?! No. Love is not necessarily something pure, we have to stop the bullshit, especially in fiction. On the other hand, I maintain that there is nothing toxic in the book version. There is no such thing as a brothel. It's an invention of Mushroom. There is no voluntary abandonment of Daemon for 10 years. In reality he was banished under penalty of death. There is no Daemon leaving Rhaenyra to deal with childbirth alone. He was by his side in the books. There is no strangulation either. And once again, the age difference and or the incest aspect are not real arguments as to a possible toxicity in their relationship, due to placing the relationship in its fictional and historical context from which GRRM draws inspiration, namely the feudal era, where age differences and incest were included in the customs of the time for specific reasons. Especially if we are in a family where incest has no impact due to their MAGIC BLOOD ! These elements are not evidence of toxicity. Open a history book. An age difference and incestuous marriage in a historical context does not necessarily result in toxic abusive relationships. This is bullshit.

So basically, I'm right when I say that you don't read my responses and just repeat the same shit over and over again ! “Acknowledge that Daemyra is toxic” I've said I don't know how many times that they were toxic in the show's version. Honestly, go get treatment for stalking my account like a crazy person. Are you interested in me at this point ? Sorry, you're not my type.

See when I say they repeat the same shit over and over again without wanting to hear it ?! Real parrots. Clearly I must really be a bridge to have so many trolls coming to see me. The antis have small brains. What do you think Daemon ?

Yeah, that's what I thought...

@aleksanderscult

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teecupangel · 11 months

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Same person who asked Angel! Altaïr

What if Ezio and Connor turned into biblically accurate angels? (And maybe Haytham or Edward for fun-)

Hi, nonny! Thank you for making Altaïr suffer as a biblically accurate angel yesterday (⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

Now... Let's screw up Desmond's other ancestors' lives XD

Well, Ezio would definitely have a hard time doing anything else because he’s just become a biblical-accurate angel in one of the most religious parts of the world during his time. Like, if this was set during AC2, Ezio would probably run to Monteriggioni to escape all the worshipping and falling into the ground to pray and stuff, unintentionally turning Monteriggioni into a religious location.

A… holy land.

If this is the middle of AC2, Rodrigo Borgia wouldn’t be pope yet so his power will be limited and it’s really, really going to be easy for all of this to go out of hand and, honestly, Mario Auditore doesn’t strike me as the religious type but he’d definitely try to spin this entire thing to their advantage while worrying on how to get his nephew back to human form in closed doors.

Oh god.

If they hear about Ezio’s mother and sister…

Maria Auditore might be considered a holy woman!

CLAUDIA MIGHT BE CALLED A SAINTESS!

Oh shhiiittt. Claudia might actually milk this entire thing and do a Jeanne d’Arc in this setup.

And Ezio would be stuck in Monteriggioni because he can’t be an Assassin now, EVERYONE is looking at him.

And now… Claudia Auditore takes centerstage. This time, it’s Ezio’s turn to take care of the books. XD

Ratonhnhaké:ton:

Honestly, Ratonhnhaké:ton wouldn’t think of himself as an angel. He would believe that he had been touched by the spirits or something similar so he may protect his village. Redcoats would definitely see him and think that the end times have come. They have been judged and proclaimed as sinners. This would actually be the most dangerous setup because Ratonhnhaké:ton doesn’t necessarily have a good support system in place. Achilles is an old jaded man who can’t easily come to his aid. All of his white allies have their own desires and they wouldn’t mind using Ratonhnhaké:ton to achieve their goals. Then… the siege of Yorktown becomes the battleground of two heavenly beings as Haytham stands in front of Charles Lee… and turns into an angel as well.

Edward:

You know what would be funny… if Edward turned into an angel during the webtoon part. Like, just think of Noa’s “what? WHAT??? WHAT?????” reaction to watching as Edward suddenly becomes an angel and he gets desynced there and then because “holy shit, what???” and everyone in the room are just like “???????”.

In the Gray:

“Reader… Reader… you have to stop this.”

“I can’t… I’m connecting to Desmond Miles’ ancestors and this automatically happens. I cannot stop the connection.”

“Reader, if you keep doing this…………… You might have to pretend to be ‘God’.”

“………… what kind of logic did you have to jump thru to get to that idea???”

“Is that sarcasm I sense in your voice? Is this making you human again???”

“Focus, Layla!”

#ac characters as biblically accurate angels #oh god #there’s a plot brewing in the gray #oh no #oh dear #now i’m just imagining the reader possessing a burning bush #and going #‘altaïr #we need to talk’#and altaïr just going ‘nope not hearing a burning bush definitely not hearing a burning bush’#ask and answer #assassin's creed #ezio auditore #ratonhnhaké:ton #connor kenway #haytham kenway #edward kenway #teecup writes/has a plot #fic idea: assassin's creed

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