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#wayne family
catpriciousmarjara · 6 months
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Getting a PHD literally anywhere else: Wow! Congratulations! What a great achievement! Amazing!
Getting a PHD in Gotham: Wow! Amazing! You're now on several Government, Civilian, and Bat watchlists.
So if any of the Wayne kids get a PHD, then the entirety of Gotham would be squinting at them suspiciously. They're rich, so resources, and most likely already insane with all the shit they pull.
What I'm saying is if Jason went and got himself a Doctorate in Literature, the whole city would anticipate the appearance of his villainsona called the Dead Poet(emphasis on the dead) or Bookkeeper or something else similarly nerdy and themed like that for sure.
I just know that it would turn into some Gotham inside joke with memes abound, and everytime Jason would, I don't know, give more funding to the neglected Arts Departments in Gotham University, or go to a school for read alongs to encourage kids to read, Gotham social media would go crazy and be like:
"The Dreaded Villain Dead Poet Reads Alice in Wonderland to Children! How Despicable!"
"Villain Dead Poet Lambasts Government on Banning Books! Leads Librarians to Riot!"
"Dead Poet Ramps up his Villainy by Establishing Educational Programmes in Crime Alley! Uplifting the Poor! What a Dastardly Villain!"
"Dead Poet Goes on Live Ranting About his Favourite Books! Favourite Author is Jane Austen! Is this the Feminist Agenda?"
And so on! It's a meme that refuses to go away. His siblings actively participate, and make the situation worse.
Dick held an online Gotham Villains and Anti-Heroes Poll and Dead Poet came out on top, over Red Hood. Jason is an actual Gotham crime boss, but his crowdfunded villainsona is more popular. No he's not salty about it at all.
Duke would create a montage of Dead Poet sightings.
Stephanie would make a Dead Poet meme compilation.
Tim would arrange Wayne Enterprises to donate to local libraries after allegedly being threatened by the heinous villain Dead Poet. (Jason did ask Tim to do that but not like that)
Barbara created an extremely popular Villain Watch account for Dead Poet.
Cass tweeted out Jason's favourite books as the villain Dead Poets reading list telling people to avoid them 'wink wonk', causing a massive uptick in the sale of those books ala Bigolas Dickolas.
Damian of all people tweeted out a pic of Jason playing with Alfred the cat accusing the evil villain Dead Poet of attempting to kidnap his cat.
And thats not to mention all the shenanigans they pull in their batsonas.
God bless Gotham and it's home grown, organic, not even remotely ethically sourced, free range chaos.
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maspers · 5 days
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Imagine Thomas and Martha Wayne getting resurrected via whatever the bullcrap of the week is, and it NOT getting undone once the conflict is over. Bruce and the kids are experiencing All The Emotions but Thomas and Martha are just happy to be there and are wholeheartedly rolling with it.
"The Waynes are a superhero family now? That's amazing! Martha, isn't it amazing?"
"Yes, dear. So much better than the organized crime we used to do. Oh, don't worry Bruce, we really only did it out of obligation, we would have jumped to vigilantism long ago had we known it was an option."
"Martha, we have grandchildren! They're adorable!"
"Thomas you've already met most of them."
"Yes but now I can appreciate them! And spoil them!"
"Thomas, honey, if you actually act as an enabler for our grandbabies I think you'll end up giving our poor Bruce a heart attack."
"Damian has a sword Martha! A sword! We have swords in the family! This is wonderful!"
"I know, Thomas."
Thomas has to be physically restrained from learning how to be a vigilante. He's too old, and Bruce and the rest don't want him to die *again*. He can help Alfred. Doesn't stop him from badgering his grandchildren about their hobbies. Ostensibly it's because he wants to get to know them better, but they all know he just really wants to learn how to do the cool things they all do. He's banned from using the Batcomputer at least thrice.
Martha at first seems content to just sit in the house and play the role of old-fashioned housewife but one day she inexplicably appears in Jason's apartment, supposedly to return one of his guns after he dropped it. He could have sworn it was fully loaded when he lost it, and now it's empty. Martha's fingerprints are the only ones on the gun. He decides to not ask questions.
They both neglect to inform the high society of Gotham that they're alive, and it takes a while for them to realize this. Gradually every rich person in Gotham takes their turn having a breakdown over having to deal with even more Wayne bullcrap. How come the Waynes are the only ones that seem to be immune to death???
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summerbummin · 8 months
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I like to think the Waynes just make shit up to fuck with the press. 1) because it’s funny. 2) because it’s their way of getting some narrative control back.
It’s better for them to come up with a story they think are funny, then to leave it to the tabloids where they could possibly come up with something that would hurt their feelings. Because tabloids are always gonna print stuff about them. Whether they’re nice and boring or causing scandals. Tabloids want an interesting story and will make one up if the Waynes don’t give them the stuff they need to get readership.
So the family has a competition of what ridiculous shit they can get people to believe. Tim and Cass have half of Gotham believing they’re twins separated at birth. Damian says he has a pet tiger and the zoo has been called several times about it. Dick makes people think he has a collection of itasha cars. Duke asked for McDonalds and Bruce tried to buy the whole company. Etc.
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st7arlight · 2 months
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lucas-remoussin · 5 months
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NEW COMMISSION !
The concept was this : Cassandra Cain, standing strong and menacing in front of the Gotham City Clock Tower, wearing a makeshift, torn, stitched-up and re-fitted version of her Batgirl costume, along with some basic battle-wear. Like she found bits and pieces of a Bat-costume and adapted it for herself, homemade style.
Lemme know what you think, and please share :)
Patreon : patreon.com/user?u=93774041
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Jason, storming into the Batcave: BRUCE! Get your demon.
Bruce, not looking up: Damain, let go of Jason. It's past your bed time.
Damian, clinging to Jason's torso: Not until he says it.
Bruce: Jason, say it.
Dick: What does he want you to say?
Damian: Todd is the only one who refuses to wish me a goodnight. I deserve to be Good Night'ed
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sweetiebriar · 1 year
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Bruce: Why did you guys dress up as each other's alter ego for Halloween?
Dick (as Red Hood): Little Wing is the scariest thing I could think of!
Jason (as Nightwing): Wingnut told me I should pick the dumbest costume possible.
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audhd-nightwing · 6 months
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i need more Wayne and Queen family interactions in gala fics tbh
give me bruce and ollie competing to be the most annoying rich himbo of the night
give me dinah and selina rolling their eyes at their boys and judging everyone
give me roy who brings lian as a social buffer (it’s fine she loves dressing up and getting attention), and dick who steals her halfway through the night to carry her on his shoulders
give me connor hawke, tim and damian loitering by the food table until they find a moment to sneak out and go on patrol
give me cass who quietly leans against the wall next to mia dearden and they watch the crowd together
give me jason who makes roy slow dance with him in order to cause Drama and to annoy bruce and ollie
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deathbydibs · 2 years
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If the Waynes had a family reality show like the Kardashians, they would use the same tropes.
A crime alert went off and Jason needs to slip off unseen? Tim and Damian are instantly at each other's necks with DIck trying to separate them and Jason walks away with his hands up.
Bruce is constantly "getting lost" in his manor because he's in the Batcave and poor Brucie, he can't keep his house straight.
Dick and Cass avoid the camera like Kanye, except for when Steph comes over and makes Cass do fake drama scenes with her (they're the backup for when Tim or Damian need to go).
There's a running gag to try and catch Alfred when he's not expecting it. The viewers' favorite moment is when the crew "caught" Alfred and Alfred "accidentally" spilled hot soup all over them out of "surprise".
Whoever is off patrol for the week has to keep the cameras the most distracted, which results in Jason reciting poetry or reading classics to the cameras (the fangirls loved that one), Damian making them help volunteer at animal shelters, Dick leading them on wild goose chases around the manor playing find the Bruce, and Tim arguing ethics with Barbara.
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daydreaming-bee · 1 year
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Danny meeting the Wayne family
Danny; looking at Bruce Wayne suspiciously:
Bruce; concerned: “have I done anything to make you hate me?”
Danny: “no, it’s just that it seems theirs always the same trend with billionaires…”
Bruce:
Bruce: “what would that be?”
Danny: “they’re all some sort of villian, or have a huge secret… and has a creepy lair in their basement.”
Bruce; balking at how accurate it is:
The rest of the kids are in a mix of awe, holding back laughter, and shock
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amphibiahawks321 · 2 months
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Cassandra Cain : geez is it just me or did Bruce got buffer?
M!Reader : If I'm being honest Batman always looks buff when his patrolling at night
Cassandra Cain : I'm still surprised your taking the whole "batman is actually Bruce Wayne" really well
M!Reader : trust me when you told me that Bruce Wayne is actually batman I feel very stupid because now that I see it it really makes a lot of sense
Cassandra Cain : Yeah but you're my stupid Kiss his cheek
M!Reader : Awwwwww ^v^
Cassandra Cain : I swear one day I'll have the same physique as him
M!Reader : That would be sick!
Cassandra Cain : Chuckles what you got a thing for strong women or somethin?
M!Reader : yeah!
Cassandra Cain : Wait really?
M!Reader : heck yeah!
Cassandra Cain : .....
NIGHT TIME
Jason Todd : Why the hell did you want to have a meeting in the middle of the night...
Dick grayson : Yeah I got patrolling to do...
Batman : Agree... What's this meeting for?
Cassandra Cain : Okay so big question! How do I get buffed and strong very fast!
Jason Todd : ......
Jason Todd : you call this meeting just to ask the three of us how to get buff!-
Dick Grayson : well you come to the right person! You see you need to-
Jason Todd : don't encourage her also why would you want to know that...
Cassandra Cain : PFFTT! Y-Y'know! To be healthy and-
Batman : you want to know because you want to impress Y/N don't you?
Cassandra Cain : W-Whaaaaa!? W-what makes you think that!
Bruce Raise an eyebrow
Cassandra Cain : ......
Cassandra Cain : Yes-
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vivianthepigeon · 3 months
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Batfam as quotes from my life (with little to no context) pt 8
Tim: *flirting with reflection*
Alfred: “Flirting with yourself?”
Tim: “Yup, someone has to”
Jason: “See? I piss off everyone eventually”
Dick: “Get someone else to do it!”
Damian: “No!” *whispers* “They don’t like me like you do”
Jason: “Glutton and greed are different”
Bruce: “And you have both”
Cass: “what’s up home…dish?”
Tim: “You’re playing dnd you have to toughen up.”
Steph: “the UPS truck thought we were gay 😔”
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mochinek0 · 7 months
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I'm a Princess
Chloe sipped her champagne as she looked around the Waynes' Gala. She spotted many people that were clients of her mother and some that promoted Gabriel. She noticed a few other designers, but the rest of the people…..well, they at least dressed the part. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a girl who she could have sworn was Marinette Dupain-Cheng. The girl had darker skin and green eyes, but her face, her eye shape!
Chloe sauntered over and shoved the champagne flute in front of her face.
"Go on." she demanded, "Get me another drink."
The girl looked her up and down.
"You still wear Gabriel?" she questioned, "Ew."
Chloe gasped, "He is an amazing designer!"
"He's an asshole." the girl retorted.
"You better shut your mouth, you Twerp!" Chloe bristled.
"Or what?" the girl commented, "You're gonna tell my mommy about your horrible fashion choices?"
"How dare you!" the Bourgeois heiress cried.
"No. How dare you show up to the Wayne Gala in something that is four seasons old!" the girl claimed.
"I am a Princess and-" Chloe began.
"No." the girl interrupted, "You are the daughter of a hotel owner, who didn't even wear clothes designed by her mother. You decided to wear trash."
Chloe was fuming. She had never been spoken to this way and the face of the girl wasn't helping.
'Her face is irritating! She looks just like Baker Girl when she started pushing back!'
"I am a princess and-" Chloe spoke again.
"I'm a princess." the girl declared, "Technically, after Great-Grandfather and Grandma passed way, Daddy became King. I'm a princess; you're playing dress up."
Chloe scowled, "You little-"
"Princess Amaya Wayne, lovely to see you again." a voice called out.
"King Ali of Achu." Amaya curtsied, focusing her attention on him.
Chloe closed her mouth and focused on the interaction in front of her.
'The Waynes have royalty in their blood and this….brat is actually a princess?'
"I'm very sorry, Ms. Bourgeois, but I must get going. My family will be summoning me soon." Amaya smiled, "King Ali, why don't you accompany me? I'm sure Father would love to discuss the next fundraiser for the children's hospital."
"Of course." the king answered.
The hotel owner fumed as they walked away. She lost sight of them in the crowd; Ali had never forgiven her for that fish-smell fiasco when they were younger. Chloe had to see for herself if the girl who humilated her was actually a Wayne. She followed them from a distance and tried to blend in with other girls nearby. She was too focused on Amaya to notice the judged looks thrown her way, as she tried to incorporate herself into their circle talks.
Sure enough, King Ali walked Amaya up to Bruce Wayne and someone else. Chloe couldn't make out who the guy was, but she heard the King of Achu refer to him as Damian. Amaya hugged Bruce and call him 'Grandfather', before he was asked to answer some questions for the Daily Planet.
'She's actually a Wayne!'
Bruce excused himself and the hotel owner was able to get a clearer view of the guy. He looked exactly like Bruce, but his complexion was similar to the kings' and he had green eyes.
"Why don't we continue this conversation tomorrow, Your Highness?" Damian spoke, "There are some things I want to go over without prying eyes or ears."
The King nodded and walked off.
"Have you seen your mother, Amaya?" Damian questioned.
"I believe she is with Uncle and people watching, as usual." she smiled, "She does love to look at everyone's outfits."
Out of the corner of her eye, Chloe spotted a familiar head of blonde hair. As Adrien walked out of the crown, Chloe scowled as she noticed his companion: Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Chloe dropped her glass as Marinette Dupain-Cheng walked over and kissed Damian Wayne.
"Mother." Amaya smiled, before hugging Marinette.
'Baker Girl; she married into the Wayne family! How did she manage to weasel her was into a family with royal blood?'
Chloe stomped and politely shoved her way through the crowd towards the stage. She couldn't believe that she saw that brat was hugging her Adrikins, after she disgraced the Gabriel name!
"You look lovely as always, Amaya." Adrien complimented, "You definetly get your beauty from your mother."
Amaya smiled, "Thank you, Uncle Adrien."
"Don't act high and mighty!" Chloe demanded, "You were just trash talking his father a few minutes ago!"
"Chloe." Marinette spoke.
"Baker Girl." the hotel owner sneered back.
Adrien and Damian were quick to push the girls behind them.
"So what?" Adrien asked, "Who cares if my niece talks shit about Gabriel?"
Chloe looked at him in shock, "But you-"
"Left his place and company when I was eighteen and I never looked back." Adrien declared, "I hated being a model and everything that came with it. The rules, the photoshoots, the diet, the loneliness, that stupid schedule pack dictating when I woke up, went to bed! I couldn't even hang out with my frineds!"
"But we're suppose to run an empire together!" Chloe shouted back.
"Is this some bullshit my father told you?" the former model questioned, "The last time I saw him was twelve years ago and the last time I spoke to him on the phone, was eight. I don't know what he told you, but I never wanted to own Gabriel. I can't draw to save my life; I never want to model again. I don't know what you would do, but it's certainly not draw."
"I can draw!" the hotel owner shouted.
Adrien smiled, "Really? Anytime there was a competition, you tried to steal Marinette's sketches and frame her. You have never put in any effort to practice drawing. I never even saw you take fashion classes. You just decided since your mommy was a fashion designer, you would be too. Audrey probably des more in a day, then you do in a week!"
Chloe could feel the promises she was fed start to crumble. Gabriel had told her that once Adrien was done with his vacation, they would run the company. Adrien was telling her that was never going to happen. She had been waiting for the da when she didn't need to watch over the hotle anymore. It was annoying having to serve others and make sure their needs were met. What about her needs? She wanted a trip to Cancun! She wanted to sail the Caribbean! She wanted to sleep past six am!
She snarled, "What about Baker Girl, huh? You seriously expect-"
Damian was quick to get in her face, "Call my wife that again and you'll be thrown out on the street."
"She is-" Chloe faltered
"My wife is a fashion designer." Damian stated proudly, "Number one in the country and number three internationally."
"Hah!" Chloe smiled, thinking she had caught them in a lie, "Zahr is-"
"My wife." Damian replied, wrapping his arm around Marinette's waist, "She makes all designs and has total control of her own design company. It's not even associated with Wayne Enterprise."
Amaya laughed "She's just sore that her gown is horrible."
"Amaya!" scolded Marinette.
"It's true." Amaya declared, "She tries to act big, but that spray painted gold just screams 'Look At Me; I Deserve Attention'!"
Adrien began to laugh since Chloe had been wearing the same color scheme since they were toddlers. Her attitude certainly hadn't changed. Damian just smirked at his daughter's decleration.
"And what is with that horrible blue eyeshadow?" the Wayne heiress continued, "No one wears eyeshadow that blue; it's outdated. It doesn't even match your dress or skin tone. If anything it makes you look a bloated fish. Why on Earth would you wear a nude lip shade of color? Even in the 50's, when they did use that shade, at least they had red lips."
Chloe's jaw dropped. Never had she imagined a child would tell her off for how she dressed. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Marinette biting her lip and could see Adrien laughing himself to tears.
"Yep." Adrien cried, "Tha-That's definetly your kid, Damian."
Mari sighed, "Is Yami and Malik gonna be the same way?"
"You do love honesty, Habibiti." Damian pointed out.
His wife groaned, "I'm gonna get so many phone calls when the twins go to school."
Chloe scowled and began to stomp away. She couldn't believe that someone who was related to bakers talked to her like that. The trash that came out of that girl's mouth left her fuming!
"Good." Amaya called out, enough for Chloe to hear, "Grandma is leaving. My eyes were starting to hurt, just from looking at her. Thankfully, the galas are at night. If we had it during the day, we'd have a disco ball on the floor with all that metallic strips sewn in."
Chloe could hear the baker's daughter snort, before laughing along side her Adrien.
"Amaya, you know how much your grandfather cares about appearances at these." Damian stated, causing his daughter to sigh, "Grounded for a week."
"Yes, Baba." Amaya spoke, "I only did it to get back at her for being a bully to Maman, when she was my age."
Mari kissed her daughter's head, "As long as you're not like this at school."
"Never, Maman." their daughter answered.
"Come along, Amiriti (Princess)." Damian spoke, "Let's go find your grandfather."
Chloe looked back to see the baker's daughter on her husband's arm. Adrien and her bratty daughter were right behind them, talking and laughing. Chloe had never felt so humiliated before.
'Ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous!'
Nothing was like how it was before when they were all in Francois Dupont College. She was no longer the Mayor's Daughter. Her father had moved to NYC with her mother, after high school. She had taken over as the owner of the hotel. Chloe had tried to use the same control she had in school to dictate the hotel's conditions and staff, but it failed miserably. People started to leave bad reviews of the hotel; some of the staff quit. When her father had heard about it, he offered to come back for a few months to show her how to run it properly; she had hung up on him.
Chloe Bourgeois couldn't believe that promises she had overheard as a child were over. She was suppose to marry Adrien Agreste; he was her Adrikins!
'I never should have helped him runaway from home to get into school!'
Chloe knew that was the moment everything changed in their realtionship. Everyone had turned him against her! He started speaking up more, defending others from her, and calling her a bad friend. She had hoped that one he finished 'exploring' that his new habit would be broken and they would get married after university. She had never even looked at another guy so when she found out that he had quit modeling, she thought he was getting ready to take over the company and propose. The proposal never came and Adrien had left Paris, without a word.
'It was all Baker Girl's fault! She ruined my Adrikins! Her Adrikins never behaved like this 'til he met her!'
She continued to glare at Marinette. She hated how Marinette was now rich, even richer than her. Marinette always got what she never had; a loving home, parents who cared about her, and now a husband and family. Chloe refused to believe she was jealous.
'I deserve more! I deserve my happily ever after with My Prince!'
Chloe turned her gaze to Adrien and she felt her heart stop. Adrien was on his tip-toes, kissing some guy taller than him. To add insult to injury, he looked just like Marinette. He had dark hair and blue eyes. Adrien Agreste had always been her dream Prince Charming, but she wasn't his Princess. Apparently, Adrien Agreste was the princess.
Chloe walked away as she heard Amaya ask if Uncle Adrien and Uncle Jon were excited for their wedding next month.
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theartistonthemoon · 5 months
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POV: you break into Wayne manner and are greeted by this
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The Floor is Lava!
After dinner was all cleaned up was when the game of Floor is Lava started. Dick, while leaving the room, had suddenly jumped into the door jam, blocking the way out into the rest of the manor, sans kitchen, and shouted with a grin “The Floor is Lava! The floor is lava! Get off the floor!” 
Jazz immediately sighed and Danny’s mischievous grin grew to near inhuman standards. 
The rest of the Wayne family had immediately dedicated their focus to getting off the floor as quickly as possible. 
Cassandra leapt onto the windowsill and Steph claimed possession of the dining table (much to Alfred’s displeasure). If anyone dared try to also jump onto the table, she would body them back off the table and onto the ‘lava.’
Barbara stayed where she was. When an exasperated Dick scolded her, she would just raise an eyebrow and say “No part of me is touching the ground. Only my wheelchair is.” 
Tim, running on an hour of sleep from two days ago, glared at Dick before sinking down to lay on the ground. Danny thought he heard the quiet grumble of “just succumbing to the inevitable. I’m too tired for this shit.” Damian immediately stepped directly onto Tim’s back, staring down anyone who looked at him.
Bruce simply sat back down at his seat at the head of the table and reopened his newspaper, his legs folded beneath him. Even Alfred moved to step onto a rug, hiding a smile by turning towards the tea set. Only Jason saw his amusement as he had chosen to push himself up on the tea tray (after moving everything to the side, he wasn’t a monster).
It was only after everyone else found their perches that they looked over to see Danny simply sitting cross-legged in mid air with Jazz holding onto him like a backpack. Danny, of course, had the biggest grin. Jazz stared at Dick with the most dead-pan expression.
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sweetiebriar · 2 years
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Damian: *Gently taps table*
Jason: *Taps back*
Tim: What are they doing?
Dick: Morse code.
Damian: *Aggressively taps table*
Jason *Slams hands down*: YOU TAKE THAT BACK–
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