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#we all believe in you
kevjrr · 1 year
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I hope the surgery goes well. Speedy recovery bby🫶
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ilovedig · 2 years
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Ummmmmm
UMMMMMM
I think he's really gonna do it.
I don't know at which show, maybe he is waiting till Glastonbury.
But I think he's fucking gonna do it.
Maybe he's waiting for June.
I really don't know, but that's the closest he's ever gotten to saying the words.
I think it's really happening.
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anti-dazai-blog · 2 years
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1.3- There’s no need to act like a detective when there’s no case (and other complaints)
There’s so much to unpack in Chapter 1 Scene 3– Just. So much. Whatever I write really won’t do this scene justice, and whatever words I use won’t properly convey my sheer frustration when watching/reading this scene.
HOWEVER, the same can be said for many, many scenes in the future. This is only the first of MANY “wow there’s a lot to unpack here” scenes. So I’d better get used to analyzing these. I plan on analyzing stuff like The Dark Era and 15, both of which have. Just. So much. Dazai. In Them. Just Dazai Doing Dazai Things.
Anyway.
Moving on.
Let’s start with how he completely ignores Atsushi’s self-deprecation. Atsushi waits in the warehouse with him, waiting for the tiger to show up. Atsushi questions if the tiger will really show up and Dazai reassures him that yes, it will, and not only will it show up, but Dazai himself will be able to easily defeat it. Atsushi responds to this by essentially saying four main points [paraphrased to shorten them—>] 1- “You’re so cool and confident” 2- “Not like me LMAO I suck” 3-“I suck so much that I’m homeless and will probably starve in the street” and 4– “I’d be better off dead”.
Dazai’s response to all of this? He just looks at him. Doesn’t say a word. Doesn’t say “You’ll be ok, I’m sure we can work something out”. At this point, he undeniably plans on recruiting him. Yet he allows him to believe that he’ll probably starve. If Dazai was anyone else, I’d also criticize him allowing Atsushi to be like “I’d be better off dead”, but let’s be real, he was probably thinking “LOL YEAH Wouldn’t we all”. I don’t believe he has the capability at the moment to realize wishing death upon yourself is not a good sign and should be more discouraged than encouraged, so I’ll let him off the hook for this one.
Atsushi hears a noise in the distance and gets scared that it’s the legendary tiger. Dazai completely dismissed Atsushi’s fear by claiming the noise was “just the wind”. Combined with his facial expression, that’s more dismissive than reassuring. But I’ll let that one go too. Maybe he didn’t realize what face he was making. That sometimes happens, right? You say something and don’t really realize you’re making a certain face while you’re saying it. [I hate to forgive him twice in a row like this, but I’m not even up to my first main bullet point for Things Dazai Was An Asshole About in this scene. I really gotta speed through everything I thought was “unimportant”].
AND here we are, Dazai’s first major offense in 1.3– the way he explains his deduction! The way he goes about explaining his thought process always bothered me, but I was never really sure how to put it into words. If I had to though, I’d say the part that bothers me the most is how it comes off an an accusation. It’s as if he’s saying “Aha! Your story doesn’t add up- I found all the holes in it!”. It’s like he’s accusing Atsushi of lying, even though he’s well aware that not only did Atsushi not intentionally lie, but he knows less about “the tiger” than Dazai himself. As the title of this post says, there’s really no need for him to act like a detective when there’s no case.
Dazai goes through Atsushi’s story piece by piece, pointing out and tearing down its flaws, disproving the entire thing (or at least proving that it would be incredibly unlikely for it to have played out the way Atsushi described). He builds the tension in a nearly theatrical way— maybe he was trying to increase Atsushi’s stress on purpose? At first I thought it was the full moon that summoned Atsushi’s tiger form- after all he’s called “Beast Beneath The Moonlight”. But given that that never is the rule for when the tiger form appears again, and given that it wasn’t implied that either the moon’s presence or a full moon summoned the tiger in the past (since the tiger appeared in Yokohama “two weeks ago”, and therefore not during a full moon, and the tiger doesn’t appear every single night— therefore not always during a regular moon.) — since we know it’s not the moon that’s involuntarily bringing out the tiger, we can assume it’s something else, and stress is a reasonable guess.
Given all of that, Dazai’s unnecessarily dramatic reveal of Atsushi’s story being inaccurate can be assumed to be an attempt to cause enough stress to release Atsushi’s top secret tiger fursona. [that’s right I’m making jokes again. I accidentally forgot to be funny for a few paragraphs. Sorry ‘bout that.]. But was any of this truly necessary? There are two things I wonder about the BSD universe. The first one is wouldn’t they logically have some sort of way to determine of someone is or isn’t an ability user? Or at least to find remnants of ability usage? If not then the legal system would suck. It would be completely broken. Imagine trying to hold a trial when everyone’s claiming that they actually were mind-controlled into committing a crime, or that it wasn’t them but simply an illusion of them that committed the crime. There must be some sort of way to determine these things. Assuming there is, there’s no reason for Dazai to force Atsushi to transform- or even to wait for him to transform on his own! He could simply say “hey I think you’re actually the tiger we’re after”, and get him ability-tested with whatever technology (or ability-sensing abilities) exists.
The only reason not to is if you’re worried about Atsushi’s tiger criminal record of all his tiger crimes being used against him when he gets tested for super secret tiger DNA or whatnot. Which leads us to the second thing I wonder about the BSD universe. Surely they have some laws in place to protect first-time ability users, wouldn’t they? People like Hirotsu or Kenji, who have potentially destructive abilities, probably caused significant damage on their very first usage. Surely every single person who was unlucky enough to be born with unfathomable destruction right at their fingertips isn’t stuck sitting in jail for the rest of their lives. So why would Atsushi? There’s got to be some legal clause protecting him, considering he was unaware that he even had an ability in the first place up until now. So because of all that I don’t buy that -
1) It was necessary for Dazai to goad Atsushi into transforming into his tiger form
And
2) Dazai’s later claims about Atsushi being arrested for tiger crimes are, in any way, legit.
But I’ll get back to that second one later, in the next chapter.
All in all,. There was no reason for Dazai to even bring Atsushi to the warehouse in the first place.
But let’s say there was. Let’s say there’s something major I’m overlooking. It was necessary, and Atsushi was going to transform into a tiger anyway, regardless of what Dazai does or says. That’s fine, that’s great, that’s not even remotely close to Dazai’s biggest offense here.
Dazai lets Atsushi rampage around as a tiger for a while. It doesn’t really feel fair to compare this to him allowing Chuuya to use Corruption longer than necessary, since we know (and can easily see) how painful Corruption is. And I doubt Atsushi’s tiger form is anywhere near as painful. I won’t even claim that it’s painful at all. But we can assume it’s at least unpleasant. If not the form itself, the stress of losing yourself to something deep inside you that you can’t control sounds absolutely terrifying. And Dazai should know this. Dazai should know this, if not from it being basic common sense, then at least from working with Chuuya and knowing Q. Both of them have abilities that cause a lot of harm. Both of them are/were treated as a monster that must be dealt with because of their abilities. Both of them have a rocky relationship with their abilities— willing and ready to use them, yet seemingly terrified of them and feel like it makes them less “human”. Atsushi is exactly the same— he checks off all the aforementioned boxes. And Dazai should see that. He has enough firsthand experience to recognize what he’s working with, does he not?
He should recognize Atsushi’s current situation, and, well, he’s trying to be good now, isn’t he? He should know, at least on a logical level, that the “good” thing to do would be to nullify the ability as soon as it activates. But he doesn’t. I guess you can call it a morbid fascination on his part— a sense of curiosity that arises when he’s testing people’s limits. When he wants to see how far he could push them, or how far they’d go on their own if they’re not stopped. But psychological damage isn't the only type of damage occurring here. The warehouse is getting destroyed. It’s getting torn to pieces around him. Atsushi, this child who very clearly probably has some form of anxiety at the mere thought of a tiger being near his location, will not only be forced to face the reality of this feared tiger being none other than himself, but he’ll also have to see with his own two eyes the sheer extent of damage that it he can do in a matter of minutes. If Dazai really needed to watch Atsushi’s rampage then fine, but once all of his surrounding started getting torn to shreds, he really should have realized enough is enough and nullified it instantly.
He does, of course, nullify him once he has no choice, and only increases any pain Atsushi may have suffered in tiger form by promptly tossing him to the ground; a completely unnecessary move, made for the sake of being comedic [ Typical Dazai! *laugh track plays in the background like this is some old sitcom*]. But seriously though. Throwing him to the floor like that was pretty unnecessary. And must have hurt. The floor is literally concrete.
And Dazai strikes once again in his endless “failing to mention important details to his coworkers” crime spree! I’ve already spoke about this in detail in 1.1, but I’ll reiterate here: Dazai wastes everyone’s time (but Kunikida’s most often) by intentionally messing with their work schedules and causing them to do more work than necessary— either because he already completed the job he sent them to do, or because he’s intentionally hiding crucial information regarding the job they’ve been sent on.
So now Kunikida, Kenji, Yosano, and Ranpo all have to work overtime, in the middle of the night, because Dazai decided he was in one of his Silly Goofy Moods.
Initially this would be around where I’d end this section, but @travalerray’s tags from part 1.1 are relevant to this part and it would be a shame to ignore them
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THIS IS A VERY GOOD POINT AND SHOULD BE DISCUSSED MORE OFTEN
Listen. I was initially going to focus more on this in regards to Chuuya, because of all people, Dazai really seems to shove it in Chuuya’s face the most. Most of the time, Dazai doesn’t bring up or explain his ability unless 1- He’s meeting someone who doesn’t know his ability yet, or 2– it’s relevant to the conversation ( Something like ”how will you defeat him?” “Oh I’ll nullify his ability”). 
It seems a bit.. disproportionate- the amount of times he finds ways to “casually” mention to Chuuya “Oh yeah you know how my ability is nullification?” “Remember how I nullify abilities” “I’m the only person who could deal with Q. Y’know. Because I can nullify his ability” “Guess you can’t fight me with your ability, because. Guess what. I can nullify it.” But that’s all something I’ll unpack later. Probably when I get up to talking about that Double Black chapter. 
But you’re right, @travalerray​, and he does do a lot of theatrics when dealing with pretty much everyone around him (specifically Atsushi, Akutagawa, Kunikida, Chuuya, and any enemy).
And as you said, it’s a manipulation tactic. He does it to show that he’s always in control- that nothing that happens is a surprise to him- or furthermore— that half the stuff that happens is stuff that he intentionally caused, and it’s all part of some top secret grand plan he has. 
He portrays himself to the people around him (or more specifically, to people he considers naive or gullible enough to fall for it [ie Akutagawa and Atsushi]) as practically “all-knowing” and “all-powerful”. I mean, people often use puppet-master symbolism for him. And they’re not wrong. 
But that’s all I’m gonna analyze this time.
Come back next week (or whenever, idk) for another exiting chapter of “Dazai Was An Asshole All Along?? What A Shock! If Only There Were Plenty Of Red Flags To Warn Us!!”
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andthebeanstalk · 11 months
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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romansmartini · 4 months
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ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to speculate about the sexual and romantic undertones of celebrities’ professional relationships
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twinstxrs · 30 days
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so much happened in this whole episode but i’m still on fig infiltrating ruben’s dream, making it look like the place where his friend was murdered, and then disguising herself as kipperlilly & repeatedly saying different variants of “somebody needs to take the fall for this, and it’s not going to be me. it’s going to be you.” while adaine as the elven oracle shows up next to her. can you imagine waking up from that, the idea of a horrible truth being pinned on you by your friend to save her own skin while the personification of fate and destiny stands there, almost as a promise that this is GOING to happen to you. we don’t even know if this kid is guilty. my god.
#fantasy high#dimension 20#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#fantasy high junior year#fig faeth#ruben hopclap#lucy frostblade#the rat grinders#adaine abernant#kipperlilly copperkettle#watching fig terrorize him like girl!!! we don’t even know if he’s guilty!!!!#this might just be for me but i do not think 5 teenagers willingly brutally killed their friend idk#like there just has to be some other element to it and i am very scared to find out what that was#what if they were put in a position where they felt there was/there was no other choice… like oh my god#my comedy brain is having fun but my ‘this is a teenager’ brain is in such deep distress all the time this season#the rat grinders i trust brennan to not make u cartoonishly evil so i am holding u as gently as i can in my confused shaky hands#also with the devil’s nectar i’ve been wondering why they all seem so well-adjusted & now i’m curious if they’ve been intentionally-#changing their memories in a way so that either the trauma is lesser or they think they aren’t guilty. idk#but it seems like from how gertie was talking she was making it more recently so the well adjustedness from early jy doesn’t quite add up#they could have another source maybe??? idk i’m just low stakes 4 a.m. spitballing here#there’s also the strong possibility that they’re aware of what happened but they weren’t the ones who killed lucy. idk who knows#the way you could probably devil’s nectar yourself into believing it wasn’t your fault someone died… CRAZY IMPLICATIONS!!! CRAZY IDEA!!!#anyways the bad kids & the rat grinders don’t ever have to like each other but i do wonder if at least some of those kids deserve a chance
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 months
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Laios's three Boy Best Friends. And yes, they hate him.
#dungeon meshi#laios touden#toshiro nakamoto#chilchuck tims#kabru#BF in this context could be boyfriend or best friend. The line is so blurry.#Chilchuck less so but whatever is going on between Shuro and Laios & Kabru and Laios is giving strong:#“dude if you were a girl I'd date the hell out of you”. And from the genderswap extra's that sentiment is canon for BOTH.#This was made prior to the translation of the Laios & Kabru & Shuro restaurant date comic and honestly I am just feeling vindicated.#I don't even know what to call this dynamic other than a situationship. There is so much going on between all of them.#Even on a purely platonic reading - the miscommunication and male yearning for friendship hurt so bad.#When we got the Big Hug scene in the epilogue arc I was whooping and hollering! Pure catharsis moment!#I also don't like hugs very much so I really felt it went Shuro ('hates being touched') went in for the bear hug.#Do not get me started on the agony of 'always lying' Kabru telling the truth (I just wanted to be friends)#and 'always believes' Laios thinking it's another lie and brushing him off.#I am once again supporting dungeon meshi day by posting art. Please watch dungeon meshi.#obligatory edit because I’m tired: YES. Chilchuck cares for Laios and him admitting it was a huge part of his arc#YES he is more just fed up with him that actually hating him.#I needed a third guy to be canonically done with his ass for the THREE WEED SMOKING GIRLFRIENDS reference
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thedreadvampy · 1 year
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Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.
"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."
translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"
It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!
very this
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#red said#it's just. I'm obsessed.#everyone on Twitter is saying 'never happened' and i think they're wrong#this absolutely did happen and she's been obsessing over how vindicated it made her feel enough to WRITE AN ARTICLE ABOUT IT#because she MISHEARD SOMEONE IN A CASUAL CONVERSATION#i lay out my reasoning thusly: if you were INVENTING a scary trans woman in bathroom story out of nothing. why would it be this?#why would you go with 'we had a banal conversation until she said a sentence that makes no sense and that no human has ever uttered#but which does coincidentally sounds almost exactly like a mishearing of a very NORMAL thing to say in the circumstances#then she left and nothing else occurred'#if you were going to INVENT a story you would probably make it MAKE SENSE or SOUND THREATENING#i truly believe this is a very authentically told account of what she thinks happened#because who would. by means other than mishearing. think 'I'm going to wipe my hands on my penis' makes any sense at all.#a) 'I'm going to dry my hands on my genitals' says the presumably fully clothed woman#b) who then proceeds to leave without doing anything threatening#c) WHO SAYS PENIS THREATENINGLY? sorry it's writing out 'penis' repeatedly that made this jump out to me but like. who says that?#you might hear someone talk casually about their dick or cock but i stg it's only doctors and TERFs who casually use the word penis much#it's so. clinically descriptive. it's a weird use of language. but it IS. something you could plausibly mishear from 'pants' or 'trousers'
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loumands · 2 years
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p4nishers · 4 months
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god. GOD. the underlying anger in everything terry writes really IS apparent in hogfather bc fuck u mean this is how things should be? no the fuck it shouldn't. poor people shouldn't have to be satisfied with what they get, that's just fucking capitalism. i REALLY like that terry decided to use death as projection for what he thinks bc death doesn't know anything and it has to be explained to him and by it being explained to him it shows how fucking stupid those things are. bc ok here's this world where an equivalent of santa ACTUALLY exists and, because it mirrors our world, it's still unjust. santa actually fucking exists in this world and he could give ANYONE ANYTHING bc he's essentially a god and people gave him that power by making him up, BUT because ppl imagined him in a way that poor people don't get shit (like they usually do) and rich people get EVERYTHING they want, he exists like that. whereas death has seen the absolutely WORST of humanity and he STILL thinks that's bullshit and it's not how it should be, it's just how it goes. bc capitalism is always capitalism where there's money and the world will always be fucked up as long as there are oppressor to hold it up. like i just.
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melspontaneus · 9 months
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In the beginning
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woodcoltonloc · 6 months
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i need you guys to fall in love with female characters the same way you do male characters i need you guys to fall in love with female characters the same way you do male characters i need you guys to fall in love with female characters the same way you do male characters i need you guys to fall in love with female characters the same way you do male characters i need you guys to fall in love with female characters the same way you do male characters i need you guys to fall in love with female characters the same way you do male characters
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ewwww-what · 7 days
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friendship so strong it grants you a sixth level spell slot. I have words to say.
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egophiliac · 5 months
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at this point I'm not going to finish this, but I need everyone to know that I don't CARE that it was Kamejim, this scene has been replaying itself in my brain for the past week --
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stromer · 3 months
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and thirdly, i didn't want him to beat me up
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canisalbus · 5 months
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Love your art so much. Will you show us cool nature pics from your country? I'm literally so stoned I forgot where you live sorry.
Sure anon, why not. I'm not a photographer so the quality of these is kind of slushy at best. I like nature and wander around a little bit, but I rarely hike properly, so I don't go to that many scenic places. These are mostly from regular walks. Long post warning.
Summers are short but very green, and since we're at the arctic circle we get sunlight around the clock. Some of these were taken at midnight or early morning small hours. Most of Finland is very sparsely populated and covered in boreal forests.
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Finland is a very watery country, lots of lakes in particular.
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Sometimes you get intense sunsets
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And winters are very cold, snowy and last about six months. In summer we have midnight sun and in winter there's the polar night to counter it. Around late December sun only rises for about two hours per day where I live so it's very dark for many, many weeks on end (which is wonderful if you get seasonal depression like I do). But sometimes the weather and lighting are just right and you get this ethereal pastel effect that I love.
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