#we are an unusual couple

[xxstraymoonchildxx]

This Couple is Unusual

Prev. / Next

Chapter 4 This couple, danse macabre 

cw: human trafficking, violence, swearing

“What is she doing here?” Ciel slightly panicked as Sebastian forced him to face away from his fiance. “She cannot, under no circumstances see me in this…this…” 

“Oh, look at that pretty girl over there, her dress is so cute, too! Please excuse me, Miss.”

“Oh, stay-” 

The blonde girl swiftly followed the girl in her pink dress who vanished within the crowd with the man dressed in black.  

“...safe.” 

You let out a sigh, shaking your head with a smile on your tinted lips.

“Sorry for keeping you waiting,” Satan popped up next to you, handing you a drink. “Are you alright? You look confused.”

You leaned in, voice low “I think I just saw Ciel Phantomhive crossdressing.”

“You’re pulling my leg.” Satan raised an eyebrow, mirth reflecting in his eyes.

“No, the cute girl a second ago pointed at them and I recognized his butler, otherwise I would have missed it.”

Satan hummed “An effective masquerade I must say. Do you have any idea who the girl you were walking to was?”

You side-eyed him “No, but I have the feeling you do. The Earl panicked when he spotted her, tho.”

“Precisely. Elizabeth Ethel Cordelia Midford is his fiancé. She is also Madam Red’s niece. If she blew his cover, he’d be humiliated.”

Your nose wrinkled “Didn’t you tell me she is the Earl’s aunt, too?”

He nodded.

“Sweet home Alabama,” you mumbled.

Satan chuckled “Madam Red is part of this gathering as well, by the way. I’ve seen her in the lounging area enjoying herself with the other guests. The Chinese man, too. They are sticking out like a sore thumb.”

“Huh, is her butler not with her?”

Satan shook his head “I’ve seen him earlier at the entrance but we should concentrate on the Viscount.”

The two of you got on the dance floor, keeping a lookout for Viscount Druitt. Satan gently moved you to the flow of the classical music. You were glad you’d gotten enough dance experience from all the balls Lord Diavolo hosted (and all the other parties you were invited to) for not embarrassing Satan and you. 

Your blond husband had the perfect posture, guiding you with perfectly even steps. He was great with ballroom dances, rivaling Lucifer’s, Barbatos's, and Diavolo’s skills. That he looked like a fairytale prince - no, king - with the outfit Asmodeus picked for him was only a bonus for his royal demeanor. Satan gave you a soft smile only reserved for you when he noticed you staring at him with furrowed brows, and for a moment you forgot why you were even here. It was just him and you. His eyes were a unique shade of blue and green with a yellow gradient that sparkled whenever he was excited over cats and literature and when talking about you. Your heart swelled with pride.

The moment was over, however, when you locked eyes with Sebastian Michaelis dancing with his protégé among the crowd of humans. He gave you an ominous smirk.

After the meeting with Undertaker, you were informed by Satan that the butler in black was a demon, a lesser one compared to your found family of course,  but the kind that wants your soul in exchange for making a pact to eat it after its fulfillment. The child Sebastian was with must have been very desperate to make a Faustian Contract. You only knew the child was an orphan and inherited a factory for toys after his parents tragically died in a fire. 

You smiled back, discreetly flipping him off right before Satan twirled you around again to create a distance.

You watched the couple reach the dancing area's side, noticing one of your targets approaching the Earl. You look at Satan who nods, following suit. 

You decided to stand nearby, maintaining a low profile but close enough to eavesdrop, another beverage in hand to look unsuspicious.

With disgust, you observe Viscount Druitt making a move on the now-alone preteen. Kissing his hand, laying a hand on his waist, holding his chin like a lover would, and calling him “my little robin” - it took willpower to not storm over. 

“What the fuck is this demon thinking leaving the child all alone with this creep?”

Suddenly the music stopped. Everyone's eyes were on Sebastian Michaelis who set up a cupboard in the middle of the crowd, announcing a magic performance. 

“That gentleman over there, would you mind to assist me?” 

Sebastian grinned, pointing at Satan of all people. You nearly snorted out your drink. A dark aura surrounded your husband, his lips twitching in annoyance. 

The demon butler now was asking for trouble.

╔═══════ ∘◦⛧ﾐ◦∘ ══════╗

        with Satan & Sebastian…

╚═══════ ∘◦ミ⛧ ◦∘ ═════╝

This third-rate demon couldn’t be serious. 

Satan kept a socially acceptable expression as he walked toward the make-shift mise-en-scène. He ignored the curious glances, trying to suppress his murderous intent. 

The Ravenette, now wearing a lacy butterfly mask to conceal his identity to a certain degree, smirked and opened the wooden wardrobe. “As you can see, this is an ordinary cupboard,” Sebastian explained “I’ll go inside and I need you to tie it up with these chains.” He handed over the metal chain to Satan who accepted it, slightly curious what exactly he had planned. 

“And then you can use these swords-” he pulled out several iron swords from out of nowhere “...to pierce this cupboard. After you do this, I shall come out alive for all to see.” Satan’s face darkened with wrathful mirth “I won’t hold back, are you sure?”

Sebastian held his gaze with a smug one of his own “I’m sure you will.” 

Then he addressed the audience “There is no trap or trick to this. Please enjoy this rare performance!”

The party guests gasped, murmuring and whispering. 

“I’m going to enjoy this” Satan murmured, quickly tying the chain and fastening it tightly. 

Within the blink of an eye Satan pierced a sharp sword into the top of the cupboard, then into the left, the right, back, and front, pushing in more and more like a madman until nearly no space was left untouched. 

The viewers gasped. 

(And Sebastian felt something akin to anxiety for the first time in his life when the first sword aimed for his head. And that other demon was fast, too)

Satan flipped a strand of hair back “Let’s see if he is alright, shall we?”

When the door opened and Sebastian stepped out with a strained smile, the crowd cheered.

“Impressive!”

“A miracle!” 

“You owe me one for not exterminating you,” Satan hissed.

╔════ ∘◦⛧ﾐ◦∘ ════╗

         Meanwhile…

╚════ ∘◦ミ⛧ ◦∘ ═══╝

“Ladies and Gentlemen, may I get your attention please?”

The crowds' murmuring died down, focusing on the stage; more precisely on the covered something next to the emcee. 

“Next we have the item everyone has anticipated. Please look at it carefully~”

With one movement the cover was swiped off, revealing a metal birdcage. 

Masqueraded nobles ranked their eyes over his bound form, happy murmurs filled the room yet he couldn’t see through the blindfold around his head.

“You may keep her in the cage. If you prefer you can play with her as much as you wish. Use her for a ceremony! If it is only parts of her you desire, it can sure be arranged.”

Ciel felt a wave of dizziness when he snapped his head towards the voice closest to him. 

/That’s Aleister Chamber’s voice/

“Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a hard-to-get item. Her eyes are bright and beautiful like the sea! And now I’ll proceed to show you!”

When the light of the candles hit his face, his temples throbbed. Ciel opened his eyes, realization setting in like he’d swallowed a heavy stone. 

“The starting bid is one thousand pounds!”

Hands shot in the air, high numbers outdoing the other. 

“Wow, you people are disgusting fucks.”

The candles flickered violently before they were violently blown off by a sudden gust of wind. 

/Who the hell is this?/

“Spirit of earth, cover the mouth of those nobles who sit before me, and silence their cries forever.”

One bidder after another sagged in their chairs, heads dropping row after row in the blink of an eye.

The only noble left standing was Viscount Druitt, unable to process what happened, and unable to move a single muscle. 

Of course, this wouldn’t do.

A fist met his cheek with a satisfying crack.

“Sweet dreams you pig!”

You turned to the birdcage, meeting Ciel Phantomhive's flabbergasted stare with an accusatory one of your own. His eyepatch was off, showing his pact mark.

“What…what are you?”

_____________________________________________________________

“What in the sweet hell’s where you thinking?! Do you understand what could have gotten wrong if you didn’t wake up before being sold off to some pervert!?”

Ciel whipped off the dust from his dress after he was freed from his restraints. “I would have been doing fine even without you interfering. I was just about to call for my butler before you barged in,” he scoffed, crossing his arms “You also didn’t answer my question. Are you some sort of witch?”

“Are you trying to insult me? I’m a sorcerer!”

“Same thing!”

You pinched his cheek, hard. “It’s not! Sorcerers are far superior.”

Ciel slapped your hand away with a huff, rubbing the arching side of his face. 

“How did you even get in here?” he eyed your attire critically “You’re still just some journalist from overseas.”

“Company secret,” you answered slyly, making him roll his eyes after you winked at him, pointer finger moving to seal your mouth.

“Whatever…Sebastian!”

Within a fraction of a second, the butler spawned next to his master.

“My, my. Looks like my service wasn’t needed after all.” Crimson flashed in his auburn eyes as he bowed slightly. “Although it wasn’t expected nor in fact needed, the Phantomhive household offers their gratitude for your act of kindness.”

His honeyed words went from one ear through the other.

“Maybe take better care of your charge then who obviously can’t even defend himself properly from pedophilic creeps.”

Sebastian shot you a stink-eye despite his smile “Rest assured, he is in the best of hands.”

Before you could answer, a gloved hand found its way to your mouth. Satan’s distinct perfume hit your nose as he pushed you against his broad chest, his other arm lazily draped across your belly. 

“Since the party is over and the Yard is arriving any minute, I’d say we also take our leave. I’m not too thrilled explaining this to the commonality.”

“Anyhow, the case of Jack the Ripper is closed now,” Ciel said “You may write about the murders but there are things that obviously shouldn’t reach the ears of the public. As assigned by Her Majesty, I shall oversee any reports regarding this topic.”

You wondered if you could contest the Avatar of Wrath if you would spend any minute with this audacious child. 

Speaking of the personification of sin, Satan let out a chuckle “We might do that real soon, well, if this is the end of the murders, that is…”

Sebastian and Ciel couldn’t hide their surprise.

Seizing this moment you took the hand from your mouth, pulling out your D.D.D from under your corset.

Snap,

A flash of light went off and you two vanished into thin air. “See ya~”

“Tell me that strange device wasn’t a camera,”

“I’m afraid it was, my Lady.”

“Sebastian!”

It was frustrating that you weren’t allowed to temper with the past. 

The very same night your contact from Scotland Yard called you to the new crime scene. Annie Shepherman was murdered while you were busy with Lord Chamber’s underground auction. 

Her body was severely battered, much worse than the last victims of Jack The Ripper. She was transported and brought to Undertaker for the autopsy which was a technical formality at that point. Satan took pictures of the crime scene for undercover reasons before you called it a day and went back to your hotel.

In the morning you decided to finally go shopping for the brothers and your friends. It was successful this mid-morning. You got:

A fancy pocket watch for Diavolo.

A crested tea storage box for Barbatos additionally to the tealeaves he wanted.

A couple of rare magical ingredients for Solomon.

A classical music gramophone record for Lucifer.

An antique hairbrush and mirror set for Asmodeus.

An original copy of the Hokusai manga for Leviathan.*

A vintage money box for Mammon (aside from several trinkets he’ll resell).

A mechanical music box that played a soothing lullaby for Belphegor.

A large amount of confectionary for Beelzebub (you were glad to have unlimited storage space inside your bag after nearly buying up the Funtom Corporation’s and Harrod’s whole stock of candy).

A hand-crafted royal blue dairy with a fun trick lock for Simeon.

And a receipt book about authentic Victorian desserts for Luke.

Mephistopheles’s hand-carved riding crop was still a work in process, so you had to come back tomorrow. You also haven’t found something for Thirteen and Raphael but you were thinking of buying an embroidered sewing box kit for the angel and one of those fancy umbrellas for the shinigami.   

You also didn’t know what to buy for Satan. Knowing him he has already picked up something super thoughtful for you and you want to show him your appreciation, too, so it can’t be just some book or vinyl. 

As you went your merry way, you found yourself at the doorsteps of The Undertaker shop. Was the silver-haired mortician done with poor Annie? 

Before you knew it, your feet carried you inside.

The jingle of a small bell above the door announced your arrival, but there was no one in the stuffy, dark front room.

“Mister Undertaker?” No reaction. Was he in the pathology downstairs?

You carefully trod forward, half expecting him to emerge from one of these coffins to give you a heart attack. Mammon would take to his heel by now if he was here but you weren’t a scaredy cat. “Undertaker!” you tried again. Nothing.

You opened the coffin he hid inside the last time but it was empty. 

He sure wouldn’t mind if you looked around for a bit, wouldn’t he? 

There was a large cupboard on the far left where a man like Undertaker would fit in. You turned the knob. It didn’t budge at first but after rattling on the door a few times it swung open.

Whoosh.

“Argh!”

Bonus: Somewhere the brothers felt a chill running down their spines as their "MC-is-doing-sth.-reckless"-tingle was activated

*credits go to PerpetuallyAwake / @anunholyabomination, tysm!

Guess who is crawling back...It's me! This was supposed to be even longer but, I kinda wanna be an ass and end with a cliffhanger instead of dragging it into 4000k+ words, so I'll move the following scene to the next chapter (that I will hopefully post in April) [Btw, who can find the gaming references I couldn't help but put in?]

Feel free to give me constructive feedback :)

#this couple is unusual #crossover #kuroshitsuji #obey me shall we date #obey me #black butler season 1 #black butler #obey me satan #satan x reader #om satan x reader #undertaker #ciel phantomhive #sebastian michaelis #alternate universe #female reader #warning: historical inaccuracies #wip #fantasy #obey me nightbringer #time travel shenanigans

[zecoritheweirdone]

hehehehehhoooo arthur ✨

[ID: Drawing of Arthur from Mystery Skulls Animated on a light green background. He is winking and smiling with sharp teeth, and there are specks of green in the orange pupil of his open eye. /End ID]

(id is written by ascel my good friend ascel. ty ascel!)

#my art #mystery skulls animated #arthur kingsmen #msa arthur #we love it when sharp toothed arthur #listen. after the possession arthur's teeth got unusually sharp and you can pry this hc from my cold dead hands #same with the green in his left eye #i don't think he's got a fully green eye; but maybe a couple specks of green if you look hard enough

[linddzz]

Being the stronger one in the couple while also being a full foot shorter is the best. The real life dwarf/elf couple vibes. The physical comedy of picking my husband up and his feet are still scraping the ground. The confused people at stores when I'm the one who's picking up the big heavy bags as an ongoing theme of us existing as proof positive that you can have an m/f couple that still makes Straight people clock and get confused that something Not Normative is going on there

#the dwarf/elf vibes of us are always doubled by him getting very foppishly affronted by me doing something uncouth #anyway husband is asleep im posting romantic shit dont tell him #also it is VERY funny when I pick him up #doubly hilarious that i am not unusually strong #he has the muscle density of overcooked spaghetti and legitimately medically weird joints #the number of times ive explained 'we are a very obviously queer m/f couple“ #and then people meet our partner and go 'ok this makes sense now'

[unproduciblesmackdown]

(pictures & text of "the bus" casting announcement & first readthrough, via writer james lantz, via kickstarter, via the wayback machine)

Update #23: Introducing Our Cast

Posted on September 9 [2011]

Hello Awesome Backers of The Bus!

It's been almost two weeks, a hurricane, and an address to Congress since we last talked -- how have you been? For all of you brave Vermonters who might still be dealing with the lingering effects of Irene, here's wishing you all the best -- you're in our thoughts!

We've been busy here at Bus central preparing your show for this fall. Our first and most exciting news is that we're cast! John Simpkins, our director, has been rehearsing our actors for about a week now. I've been lucky to linger on the edges and watch them work; I don't have to wait another three weeks to tell you this: we're gonna have an awesome show! We've got four actors from New York City, and two from Vermont. You'll get to know them in detail in later posts, but until then, let's give a big welcome to the cast of The Bus!

Travis Mitchell (in the role of Harry Deforge)

Bryan Fitzgerald (in the role of Jordan McRae)

Julia Lawler (in the role of the little girl)

Kerry McGann (in the role of Sarah Deforge)

Bob Nuner (in the role of Mr. Sloat)

Will Roland (in the role of Ian Deforge) 

What else have we been up to?

Had a press and publicity meeting with the good folks at 59E59 Theaters; met our publicist and discussed possible hooks to publicize our show

Had our first production meeting with all of our creatives (who you'll meet in a later post)

Did a photo shoot for the new central image of the show with our two 'teen' actors, Will and Bryan

Began redesigning our website

Started rehearsing at NOLA Studios in New York City

Below are some photos of one of our first rehearsals, a table read. (photo #1, l. to r., Will Roland, Julia Lawler, Kerry McGann, Ben Ash, Bob Nuner (with back to camera), stage manager Josh Wright, director John Simpkins, and Bryan Fitzgerald)

Until next time, take care!

Jim

(bonus: the comment from sam malloy kicking off with "Those boys are as cute as can be.")

#had the insight of ''look at the prior snapshots b/c their Page 1 will have older posts'' & here we are #right click Inspecting intractibly [broken image] to get a couple from their flickr hosted links. & here we are #will roland #hey beautiful #fun text; fun pictures in other posts so far....set diagrams; pics of picking up an actual old gas pump (extricated from its foundations #in the earth. in the rain apparently lol Commitment) #musing on the insights Provided in other updates posts....the Unusualness of a play being kickstarter backed #like huh yeah didn't think about that one. at it again with the unusually ground up / Online / popular support lol.... #that apparently their last $10k was raised over the last 24 hours of the kickstarter. whew

[homielander]

the more i think about it the more i don’t hate this change....... aemond can still be the aemond from the book after b&c but feel like a human being and not a caricature this time, dragons exemplify “absolute power corrupts absolutely” in the most literal sense, and it parallels the scene where aemond’s eye was cut out in the saddest way -- neither attacker intended for what happened to occur but luke brought a knife to their first encounter and aemond brought the largest dragon in the world to their last. they were both set against one another because of their parents’ squabbles. (to complete the parallel, i would have liked it more if the eye incident had turned alicent against rhaenyra for good, because this one will turn rhaenyra against alicent.) and aemond’s face of absolute shock at the end is a reminder to everyone that this isn’t a game anymore, it’s war.

i think if it had been only this one “whoopsie” instigating event then everyone would have appreciated it more but unfortunately they’ve repeated this plot device of major events being accidental throughout the season and we’re all tired of it now

#also lots of people saying that dragons are supposed to listen to targaryens..... but our only frame of reference for that is daenerys #who had an unusually strong bond w her dragons no?? being their mother and everything #and even still she struggled to control them #feelsbad........ the writers made an actual good change this time imo #idk about daemon i need to rewatch to get a grasp on him but i don't know if i like that change either #i mean i don't know if it's a 'change' so much.... i think the problem is we have so little time with them actually as a couple #esp when they're adults #all we've been seeing is lovey dovery daemyra and now we get this #all the time jumps mean no one is getting the fleshing out they deserve #aemond targaryen #house of the dragon #hotd leaks #hotd spoilers

[possiblytracker]

ermine

#since im going full stoatsona i fucking GUESS #i got to frolic in snow today for the first time in what. 2 years? 3? #weather has been Unusually cold for over a week but not very . precipitate-y #absolutely not expecting snow at any rate bc this is britain. got up this morning. got on the bus to my data collection site #patches of snow start appearing on the road the further out of town we get #patches start turning into entire fields #by the time the bus pulls up i am standing in a winter fucking wonderland. solid couple inches on the ground. lake frozen solid #the visitor center is shut. the birds are not fed. none of the staff could get up there #so i literally just got to fuck around and play in snow for a few hours and i think it fixed 70% of my problems in one fell swoop #so. um. semi-cursed(?) wintercoat tracker #for your consideration #tis my shiny palette

[leliesblou]

.

#it is snowing in unusual parts of the country #and you'd better believe I am looming out of the window every couple of minutes to see if there are clouds #last time we had snow in my area I didn't even have a phone or camera yet so this time I am READY 📸 #also. it is COLD #*looking #update: Joburg seems to have used up all the snow :( #(also. it got slightly warmer. but maybe once it's night... or early tomorrow morning #i was dumb for getting my hopes up. but seeing those videos of snow falling in Johannesburg made me go 👀

[icehot13]

i was doing SO well editing until i had to add a new chapter and now it's been like two weeks because it's a DATE chapter

#dates remain the hardest thing to write!!!! #im also being very brave and on bumble bff to try and find a tennis partner #we need location-specific tumblr #fandom buddies who live near you and can play tennis after work #sigh #anyway this morning i went to the park and ran into an adorable older couple and played with them!!!! #amazing and unusual because tennis is not known for nice people hahahahahaha

[tragicomedys]

nge is so

#Anyway i started watching nge like a couple days ago #watching nge is such a particular experience bc like. the reason why im hooked on it isnt necessarily bc i need to know what happens next #or because its super suspensful or anything. the reason why im hooked on watching the next episode is bc im just desperate for the next bit #of shinji or rei emotion to be shown dog. Like every episode is like Ok. Anyway When r we going to talk about shinjis deteriorating mental #health. #also i dont really like the writing style somehow. like. something about the way nge is written is very tedious to me i cant put my finger #on it. but the story is nice and i really like some characters. shinji and his two buddies r everything 2 me. #but anyway the fucking. white haired dude showed up and like second scene in Boom hes like shinji i love you. #Bro? OK? HELP #HELP ME #thats where i am in the show so far #also im like. lost. for the most part. Like most episodes im lost cuz i think a big way suspense is written in #is by showing some shit happening or whatever and not give the full details so like the audience would be super interested on whats goin on #and so we try to find out whats happening. but im like a little too confused at times. so it doesnt feel suspenseful it just feels like. Oh #What . what just happened whats that mean #which is unusual for me usually i pick up on whats happening in a show fast but IDK #I HAVE LIKE. SIMULTANEOUSLY 0 THOUGHTS AND ALL THE THOUGHTS ON NGE SO FAR #ITS STRANGE. STRANGE LITTLE SHOW THUS FAR. NOT WHAT I EXPECTED....? #💭.txt #Idk none of my friends are into nge so. i would love to talk 2 somebody about nge

[inkskinned]

what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

#warm up #writeblr #this one has bothered me for a bit #any time a woman does something even passingly annoying we treat it like a fucking crime #hey man. women are allowed to be annoying. everyone forever is allowed to be passingly annoying #as long as they aren't hurting anyone/thing #like u wanna know something? i find it super annoying that men don't wear seatbelts #why arent there thousands of comments on driving videos thats just like : men try not to die in a car crash challenge #''this briefly annoyed me''. okay??????? AND????????????????? go get ur self a cookie and calm down about it #ur not entitled to control other ppl's experiences and emotions just so u can maintain ur own peace #if being briefly annoyed ruins ur whole day! you! need! therapy!!!! #men try not to become immediately angry about nothing challenge: level impossible #ps author is nonbinary. we didn't even get into the gender presentation thing #the fact men think it's SEXY that my voice is on the lower end....

[xxstraymoonchildxx]

This Couple is Unusual

Prev./Next (WIP)

Chapter 5 This couple, coffin talk

cw: flashback lesson 16 OM

The first time you died was during your first school year in the Devildom. 

You have felt bad for him, being stuck in this stuffy attic all by himself. He had reached out to you early on, a whisper in the night, urging you up the stairs. That Lucifer tried to stop you only fueled your curiosity.

The big bad brother who locked the youngest up after an argument. Of course, you made pacts with the other five brothers to break the magical lock to the attic. 

He was so grateful, pulling you into a warm embrace.

He hugged you tightly.

“You humans really are foolish, idiotic, weak creatures, aren’t you?”

Tighter. 

You couldn’t move.

“Hehe. Does it hurt? Finding it hard to breathe? I’m sure it must be very unpleasant.”

Tighter. 

“You’re so stupid that I can’t help but laugh. Don’t blame me for tricking you, blame yourself for falling for it.”

Tighter. 

“I hate humans. I hate them more than anything in the three worlds-”

Your ribcage cracked, puncturing your insides.

“And I hate you!”

Why this particular scene flashed before your eyes, you didn’t know for you had already forgiven him. The time you sacrificed yourself for Lucifer or several other instances you had put yourself in immediate danger would have left a better taste in your mouth. 

Now, a scythe's polished, pointy tip was millimeters away from your face. It would have pierced through your left orbit if you didn’t bend backward the time and way you did thanks to Luke’s blessing no doubt. The sharp edge of the death dealer ominously glistened in the candlelight. 

“Didn’t you know that curiosity killed the cat, my dear?” a voice croaked to your right, amusement resonating within. From your peripheral vision, you could see his dark boots that had no business having this many belts (nor him having legs this long).

“But satisfaction brought it back,” you breathed out, voice shaky. A bead of sweat of fear trickled down your temple as the rapid beating of your heart continued.

Undertaker chuckled and pulled the scythe away from you, lovingly grazing the smooth side of the cutting blade. You stared at the tool that was not designed to cut grass or harvest grains. It had the shape of an elongated bone structure; the edge of the blade ended in a skull that was decorated with thorns around the forehead and the shaft went directly into the skeletal thorax with all its components. 

He held out his free hand for you to take, pulling you upward. His skin felt weird to the touch, neither warm nor cold. Just like Thirteen’s. Undertaker gently turned your hand, thumb striking over the seal on the back before letting go, making you wonder if he recognized the sigil that proved your affiliation with the Sorcerer’s Society or the ring of light around on your finger. He eventually took a step backward, giving you a moment to ogle him.

Actually, without being fully veiled by his black overcoat, revealing a matching dark robe, and without his crooked top hat Undertaker even kind of looked … attractive there and then. His choice of clothing and jewelry was interesting for his time, if not ahead of it.

Moreover, with the murder weapon at hand, he didn’t look like a demented oddball anymore but the personified harbinger of death. A grim reaper, a Shinigami.

Oh.

Oh.

Now you knew he recognized you as a sorcerer and some other things about him started to make sense.

Undertaker stored his scythe away, locking the closet with a satisfying click. His lips were curled upwards when he turned back around. Since his bangs covered the upper half of his face, you couldn’t read his true emotions. 

/I wonder if he has phosphorescent eyes, too./

“Heh, be more careful when snooping around, unless you’re dying to experience my coffins firsthand,” Undertaker said, snickering at his own little pun at the end.

“Err, it’s definitely not on my bucket list for 1888. Dying ain’t fun,” you quickly denied, mumbling the last part. You awkwardly rubbed your sweaty neck when you felt him staring from behind his long bangs. 

Wait, he couldn’t know what a bucket list is, couldn’t he? 

“A bucket list is a to-do list before ‘kicking the bucket’,” you quickly explained. 

The mortician hummed “Interesting choice of words. Although, even if it’s the basis of my work, I understand death is undesirable - but - maybe such topics should be discussed over a cuppa and biscuits, don’t you think? You’re still shaken.”

This is how you ended up sitting on one of his coffins across from him, a measuring beaker with black tea in hand. 

Undertaker, who sat cross-legged on another death box, held out a black urn toward you, silently instructing you to take whatever was inside. Having lived in the Devildom for so long nothing food-related should and could surprise you anymore. 

Still, you must have looked baffled when you fished a biscuit in the form of a dog bone from the alienated cookie jar because the silver-haired man let out a little cackle. “Go ahead, they’re delicious, I promise~”

He was right, they were! The sweet taste was welcomed after your near-death experience. 

“Gosh, you need to give me the recipe for these. I’ve got some baking-loving friends back home.”

“Hmm, I might, if you pay me with a good laugh, of course,” he answered cheekily, bouncing his crossed-over leg.

“Wait, for real? … Let me think about one…”

Undertaker waited patiently, munching on his treat. 

“Okay, you see, my favorite childhood memory is building sandcastles with my dear grandfather – well, that was until my mother took his ashes away.”

…

Turned out that simultaneously eating and laughing was not a good idea. 

The silver-haired choked on the cookie as the laugh got stuck in his throat, bending over, battering his chest with suppressed giggles (why) while you shot up in a panic, refilling his cup. “Oh my god, are you alright?”

He made a gesture of refusal with his hand, knocking the beverage back.

“That was a killer, young Miss,” he said once you two calmed down, acting like nothing happened.

“I have yet to ask what I owe the pleasure. I assume you're still busy with the murder case, hm?”

You lowered the recipe Undertaker gave you beforehand, regarding him with a mirthful grin. “Nope. I was gift hunting for the family and ended up in front of your store by chance. Maybe it was fate? For the article, well, I don't think the Queen's cute little watchdog would let us publish anything remotely true once he finds out who Jack the Ripper is.”

Undertaker’s lips curled into a grin as well “Oh, you figured it out?”

“Yep. Yesterday's event confirmed our suspicion. Not that you sound surprised at all, tho.” 

“I had a feeling you’ll succeed. I’m sure the young Earl won’t be far behind for he is the good lapdog of Her Majesty.”

You made a face “Never have I imagined a child being responsible for resolving the disruption of the general society. Seriously, putting himself in danger like that.” 

“And that collar will choke him someday,” Undertaker said, his voice dropping an octave. “If not for his self-imposed duty, his butler will certainly be his undoing.”

“Well, if the Earl can’t find a way to circumvent his contract, that is, even for a certain amount of time. Employers tend to find a way to go around their agreements, so it’s technically not impossible.”

The mortician tapped his lips with his index. A grimoire - he hadn’t considered this possibility for they are seldom found. It would require Sebastian Michaelis’ true name and free access to Hell. However, different matters solicited his attention; exempli gratia Karnstein, so he would keep your words in mind. An interesting human you were; just maybe …

A low vibrating sound broke his thoughts. 

“Shit, I hate to cut our talk short but…” you said, eyes fixating on the screen of the D.D.D. you halfway pulled out of your dress pocket “...look at the time. Sata- err, my husband is expecting me soon and I still have to make the way back.”

You pushed the phone back and walked up to him.

“Thank you for the tea and cookies. I don’t know how long we’ll stay in London but I hope we meet again before we leave.” 

You gave Undertaker your brightest smile, surprising the Shinigami but he gently held your outstretched hand. Hands he had taken souls with.

“Likewise, young lady. Be careful on your way back. You never know what lurks around the corner.”

“Noted!”

You took your bag from where you nearly met your untimely end and walked to the door. Grabbing the knob, you turned your head backward. 

Feeling bold, you let a slight gust of wind whip around his face, revealing his odd green eyes that widened slightly at your display of magic. Proud of yourself, you winked and waved goodbye, your smile branding itself into his mind.

Laugher filled his empty store.

“What an interesting sorcerer~”

Hello folks! Writing this chapter was really hard for some reason and I struggled with the decision of putting a scene in or not. As you can see, this chapter is rather short, meaning I cut a scene out. It involved the harassment of MC. (In Victorian London some men were pathetic and walked up to unaccompanied women, even from higher ranks, assuming they were streetwalkers. In this case, the reader would have been approached by Grell with the idea in mind to make the case more personal. I'm not sure I handled this well enough in my draft, so here we are)

#this couple is unusual #crossover #kuroshitsuji #obey me shall we date #obey me #black butler season 1 #black butler #obey me satan #satan x reader #om satan x reader #undertaker #ciel phantomhive #sebastian michaelis #alternate universe #female reader #warning: historical inaccuracies #wip #fantasy #obey me nightbringer #time travel shenanigans

[ladyshinga]

Kids are funny.

I just had a random memory of a friends' kid when she was about six or seven, when she cornered a couple of us at a get-together and says "wanna know what my dad had for lunch?"

We figured this was, while unusual, a pretty straight-forward conversation starter. "Sure", we said.

We were NOT prepared. She went on this EPIC storytelling monologue about the restaurant and Italy and the art on the walls and some dramatic story she made up ABOUT the art on the walls. We were enraptured. No idea what was going on but by god we were hooked. At no point does she mention food.

The next week, similar get-together with the same people. Same friend I'm talking to. Same child walks up. "Wanna know what my dad had for lunch?"

But NOW we're prepared, we're excited. We're about to hear some SHIT. We grin in anticipation. "Sure!"

"A salad."

She walks off, seemingly unaware she just set up the funniest fucking week-long joke my friend and I had ever heard

[sophiamcdougall]

I am never going to complain about Greek Duolingo again

I mean, I am. But still.

So, as some of you know, my family has been coming to this tiny Greek seaside village for several years. Just over a week ago I came out here with my mum, under the impression that early September, after the height of the summer heat, would be a good time to have a holiday. ANYWAY Storm Daniel had other ideas about that. Locally things are improving (I'm actually really pissed off about the disaster-porn tone of most English-language media coverage, but that's another post). The power is back on, there's running water most of the time, and though the latter is not drinkable, a truck from the government came and handled out free bottled water yesterday. But we are currently kind of stuck. Can't do tourist things. Can't go home. There aren't any local flights out until Saturday and the road to Thessaloniki is still closed.

So this evening, feeling kind of aimless and depressed, I go down to the nearest beach with a couple of binbags and start cleaning up in an effort to at least do something positive. I always try to do this at least once out here and obviously, after the storm, there's a lot more plastic and rubbish than usual.

At some point I find this large, round bit of metal - some kind of machinery part, I think -- that's too big for the bag, so I take it to the bins on its own, leaving the rubbish bag on the beach. And when I come back for it, something among the stones beside it moves.

Specifically, it pulls its head sharply inside its shell

So, meanwhile I've been trying to learn some Greek with the help of Duolingo.

I currently have a 33-day streak and... I have questions. Shouldn't I be able to use the past or future tenses by now? Shouldn't I be able to say "x is like y"? I can't do those things. But one thing I absolutely can say all day long is έχω μια χελώνα : I have a turtle.

This is far from the limit of Duolingo Greek's turtle-related content. "An obsession with turtles" is my mother's characterisation. I can inform you that the turtle is not a bird, and, improbably, that the turtle is drinking milk. I can introduce you to a turtle in company with a horse and an elephant. As far as Duolingo is concerned, it really is turtles all the way down.

Now this, you may be able to see, is not a turtle. It has claws rather than flippers. It is a tortoise. I know there are wild tortoises in Greece: my aunt once rescued a pair of them shagging in the middle of the road -- but that was up in the mountains. I've even seen one myself, but it was also on a road and very dead.

I am 95% certain they don't belong on beaches. There's nothing for it to eat, except, unfortunately, a lot of plastic. Even if it gets off the beach it will immediately find itself on a road where it could get hit by a car. I'm pretty sure it must have been washed down by the floodwater and has been just sitting there, dazed, ever since.

Now obviously the first thing I want to do on encountering this unusual animal is to go and tell my mummy, so I do. The tortoise immediately brightens her day. She agrees that the tortoise is not happy on the beach and needs to be taken somewhere safe. it gets surprisingly wriggly when picked up so we put it in a carrier bag with some grapes and cucumber and go looking for somewhere to rehome it.

We find a path leading up between the houses towards a likely-looking field, but before we get very far a dog in a yard goes berserk and a man's head pops over a fence and demands to know what we're doing. He does this in English, as evidently we're just that obviously tourists.

"I found a tortoise on the beach!" I explain. "We want to find somewhere to put it."

"A what," he asks.

"It's like a, you know," I begin and then to my astonishment I find myself saying... "μια χελώνα"

"Oh! A turtle!" he says.

"But from the land. δεν είναι χελώνα", [it is not a turtle,] I say, as I am worried he will tell me to put it back near the sea where I found it. As it turns out it actually IS a χελώνα, Greek does not distinguish between turtles and tortoises, but I don't know that; I can't even name the days of the week or identify any colours other than pink yet, give me a break.

The man's entire demeanour changes and thaws. He does not worry about my turtle-that-is-not-a-turtle conundrum. He knows where οι χελώνες come from and where η χελώνα μας belongs. He leads us through a gate into a courtyard area.

"[somethingsomething] μια χελώνα," he explains to the assembled onlookers, of whom there are, suddenly, a surprising number.

"ΜΙΑ ΧΕΛΩΝΑ!!!" crows the throng of delighted small children, who are, suddenly, everywhere.

"μια χελώνα!" I agree, accepting that at least for current purposes, that is what it is.

"Μπορούμε να δούμε τη χελώνα σας; [can we see your turtle?]" asks an adorable little girl, shyly, and I understand??

The children fucking love looking at the χελώνα and showing it to them is kind of magical?

I finally put the tortoise down on the grass of this wild area off to the side of the courtyard, and marvel aloud that it is weird that I barely know any Greek except how to say μια χελώνα.

"I think she will soon run off," a kind lady called Aspasia assures me, seeing I remain slightly anxious about its fate. "I don't know why I'm saying 'she'. I suppose because χελώνα is feminine in Greek."

"Yes! I know that!" I exclaim, thrilled.

"Well done!" she says. And also she asks if we are OK for drinking water after the storm and if we need any help with anything and is just generally incredibly lovely and now we know more of the neighbours!

So "μια χελώνα" has just become, by a long way, my most-used and most understood and all-around most conversationally successful phrase in Greek. So I guess I have to admit I was wrong to doubt Duolingo's wisdom: it is correct to be obsessed with turtles. And I concede that prior to learning how to count to ten or to distinguish right from left, the simple ability to yell the word TURTLE over and over again is, it turns out, a crucial element of the responsible traveller's social skills.

(I am pretty fluent in Italian and turtles haven't come up in conversation even once?)

#story time

[aidenwaites]

People truly don't get just how labor-intensive of a field filmmaking is, whether it's writing/pre-production or on-set actors and crew or post-production

#listen man i know ive barely scratched the surface of even sports broadcasting #but my schedule is Not Unlike the kind of schedules film crews face with MUCH more labor intensive jobs #except where my schedule is unpredictable and subject to change on short notice and my shifts #Do Not Come with proper breaks #at least i *usually* only work a max of 12 hours #film crews easily see 14-16 hour days and the studios refuse to accept #paying more fines to the unions for not supplying the minimum amount of hours needed between shifts (this was something they rejected in #the wga negotiations) #and they HAVE to have those fines put on them because there is like. a real legitimate problem of lack of sleep leading to #injuries (and sometimes fatal ones) both on and off film sets. do you know its not unusual for people on sets to be reminded not to drive #if they feel like theyre going to pass out. a couple of years ago when iatse was in negotiations people were sharing INSANE stories #along those lines #and those days arent worth it!! at all!! we HAVE to take more time to make movies. we have to stand behind the unions. come on man #anyway brought to you by i wasnt gonna reblog that giant post where someone sent a stupid ask to neil gaiman but i am mad about it #and i know that post was specifically aboht writing but MAN people really forget the number of crew who work on movies #and how exhausting those jobs are and how much technical skill and varied understanding of skills that arent even your own #that you have to have to work in entertainment ! #anyway

[waffled0g]

Everyone gets “The 90s” look wrong and I hate it

Couple years ago I saw these two board games at the store back to back. Well, not saw them per se, but ya know. Spied them out of the corner of my eye. And for a moment without reading the text, I couldn’t tell you which was which decade at first. Funny. Either they were in a rush to get these out the door or they wanted their throwback trivia game boxes to look uniform. I didn’t think too much of it.

Only, from then on I started seeing it MORE. Every time someone markets a 90s or 80s throwback...

Goddammit they’re identical! What??! How did we let this happen? As a 90s survivor and a designer, this drives me up a wall.

Look, I know I’m late to the party to complain about “the 90s look” when we’re just starting to get sick of the Y2K nostalgia train. But c’mon, the 90s were not The 80s: Part Two™ 

Trust me when I say that we weren’t all wearing neon trapezoids up until the year 2000. The 90s look being peddled is so specific to the tail end of the 80s and an early early part of the 90s - a part of the 90s when it wouldn’t stop being the 80s. This is Memphis design being conflated with the wrong decade.

Keep reading for a long ass graphic design history lesson and pictures of old soda and fast food.

Specifically, the look is Memphis Milano, self-named by the Italian design house Memphis Group. Starting in the early to mid 80s, they made all sorts of furniture, fabrics and sculptures that were like a Piet Mondrian grid painting under heavy radiation. Their whole deal was defying the standards of existing industrial design up to that point on purpose. Chairs had weird arches, bookcases would be in strange alien colors, unusual materials like plastic or elastic were used in place of metal or wood, that sorta thing.

Memphis quickly became the signature look for the decade. You can tell something’s influenced by Memphis design from it’s telltale trademarks:

Clashing, neon colors.

Use of diametric shapes.

Contrasting patterns like zebra print stripes, confetti squiggles and checkerboards.

It wasn’t long before Memphis Milano-inspired design was everywhere in 80s pop culture:

It was a special time, yes.

I was a kindergartener at the tail end of the 80s, so I knew Memphis mostly through the lens of kids media. Toys, clothes, games, tv shows used it like candy colored catnip. Cable channel Nickelodeon more or less adopted the Memphis aesthetic as their signature in-house style and practically built a monument to it at a Florida theme park:

I think this is why folks mistake what decade Memphis is representative of - 90s staples like Nick, Saved By The Bell, Fresh Prince - they all stayed around much longer than the design trend’s expiration date. 

Couple that notion with the fact that companies are slow followers to design trends. Something gets popular and they want to get on the bandwagon? Gotta wait for the ink to dry, gotta wait for the production molds to be made. It would take a few years for them to completely work Memphis outta their system.

Now, this is not to say Memphis is bad! Personally I’m a fan of the aesthetic, if my neon-drenched artwork wasn’t a tip-off already. But it is a trend, and trends never last forever.

So what took the Memphis Milano look down for good? This part’s up for debate, but I personally think it had something to do with this dude:

It’s that grunge music from Seattle that’s so popular with the kids these days dontchaknow.

Once Smells Like Teen Spirit hit in 1991, the Nirvana tone drove the rest of the decade. Clean geometry became weathered, grainy and organic. Bright neon pastels became more bold. Bubblegum pop music sounded fake and manufactured. Attitude and apathy was authentic. Whatever.

Things got grungy. Things got grimy. Olestra was invented.

I think the best way to visualize this transition is how Cherry Coke entered the decade and how it left it:

1992 Memphis on the left, 1998 grunge junkie on the right. Fitting that the 90s would end with a design that looked like Darth Maul’s lungs.

Okay, so what should 90s retro design look like?

Continue on to PART TWO! Spoilers: No VHS filters or vaporwave needed, but maybe bring an antacid.

#90s #1990s #memphis milano #grunge #everything you know is wrong #y2k

[omgthatdress]

The Importance of Studying Queerness in Context.

When studying queer history, one always has to keep in mind two seemingly contradictory things: firstly, that queerness and queer people have always existed, but at the same time, that queerness and queer identities have not always existed the way they exist today.

Modern queer terms and identities did not exist to queer people in the past. They would not have thought of themselves as "gay" or "trans" or even "queer." While these modern terms may seem to fit certain historic individuals, these individuals would not have thought of themselves as such, and it would not be a part of their lived experience. To apply the modern identities of queerness to history is to erase the lives and experiences of queer people in history, and care must always be taken to understand queer history within the context of its time.

When looking at queer history online, there is a *lot* of misinformation and misidentification out there simply because people are eager to apply modern queerness to history, often in places where it doesn't belong.

A lot of old photos get misidentified as gay because they show two people of the same sex showing some level of physical affection towards each other. Okay, I'll admit that the open-mouth kissing photobooth pictures are probably actually gay, but an old picture of two men or two women holding hands or with their arms around each other, or even kissing on the cheek, were common shows of platonic affection.

I hate to break everyone's gay little hearts, but without explicit documentation saying so, assuming that these couples are all gay is putting modern queer identity in places where it simply didn't exist. The women in the final picture are sisters. The "not married" boys are bachelors interested in marrying women.

In the silent film Wings, the emotional climax of the film comes in the form of a kiss exchanged between the characters played by Jack Powell and David Armstrong. It often gets attributed as the first gay kiss in cinema history, even on the fucking YouTube clip I found:

Except it isn't gay. The two men spend the whole film fighting over who gets to be Clara Bow's boyfriend. When Richard Arlen's character is fatally wounded, his dear friend rushes to his side and kisses him goodbye, because in the 1920s, that was considered the ultimate show of friendship. The movie ends with Jack Powell falling in love with Clara Bow.

Similarly, a kiss shared between Lillian and Dorothy Gish in the 1921 movie Orphans of the Storm often gets attributed as being queer, but it wasn't.

They were sisters playing sisters. None of this was considered unusual.

Pooh-poohing on all of these images that so many people on the internet breathlessly and joyously laud as proud gay history isn't fun. It makes me feel like I'm fucking Ben Shapiro. But if misinformation is allowed to flourish, it allows people like Ben Shapiro to come in and make the argument that queerness is a modern invention and queer people didn't exist in the past.

Everyone loves to see queerness represented in history, but the fact is that none of the stuff in this post would have been seen as explicitly gay and thus shouldn't be called gay today. If we are to understand queer history in its fullness and richness, it is absolutely crucial that we get it right. We owe it to our queer ancestors to recognize, honor, and not embellish the actual lives they lived.

#queer history #gay history #lgbt history #queer #gay #lgbt #Youtube