#we are sick in the head

[songofsoma]

@guccipussay and i may or may not be planning a potential cowgirl!karlach au with a high fantasy ranch setting

#we are sick in the head #bg3 #cowgirl!karlach

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[ohswampey]

the father, the son, the holy ghost

#im so sick in the head for them #eheheheh im silly im silly #good omens #wwdits #what we do in the shadows #ofmd #our flag means death #ineffable husbands #gentlebeard #nandermo #superwholock but better #we need a name #other than autistic

[isjasz]

[Day 116]

Damn why is the camel so slow guys

(The strange familiarity)

#dddaily4sherin #desert duo #grian #goodtimeswithscar #secret life #secret life spoilers #secret life smp #traffic smp #trafficblr #my art #not 100% happy with this but we ball o7 #(SOMEONE SEE THE SILOUETTES SOMEONE SEE THE SILOUETTES SOMEON #why are they SICK IN THE HEAD #also!! the crossed over lines is the border :D #secret life fanart

[rileyclaw]

i just think she deserves a spin , as a treat. idk they just kicked belos’ ass or something. based on castle in the sky!

#we have so much willow holding hunter but where is the hunter holding WILLOW!!!! #i am a big fan of both . #slowly killing my art block but with animation bc animating is easier than illustrating in my brain. bc my brain is sick and silly and ill #the owl house #toh #huntlow #willow park #hunter toh #hunter noceda #my art #animation #gif #i should rewatch castle in the sky .... its time . its been in my head

[turtleblogatlast]

Every day I’m haunted by the fact the boys happily swim in sewer water

Even if it’s filtered somehow there’s no way it’s not still nasty 😭 Bet they can defeat any of their villains just by accidentally giving them diseases I swear

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #bless their hearts but they’re nasty #it’s funny because like #each and every one of them has moments #where they’re a typical disgusting teenage boy #and then the next they have STANDARDS #can’t blame Leo for being so determined to go to a spa #even if he nearly licked his own foot that’s prob cleaner than anything else the boys have been up to in years 💀 #thank you shelldon for all your hard work cleaning after then 🙏 #they’re all gross teenage boys!!! #even Donnie he is NO exception here #bro was DRINKING A BEVERAGE while wading through sewer water he is just as gross as his bros #bro also talks with his mouth full he is no more refined than his equally gross bros fr and I love it #but yeah no way that water isn’t disgusting even filtering it would still leave grime on the walls of the sewer for yearsss #pros of them moving into an abandoned subway system is fixing their sense of smell enough to not be as gross #100% that’s part of why they didn’t mind being so filthy pre shelldon #because I mean they were literally raised in the sewers and they’re teenage boys like that’s a double whammy #THEY ALSO DONT WEAR SHOES #the few times any of them do the shoes are discarded before heading home 💀 #I love them tho they are endearing anyhow #April’s immune system must be godlike just being around them fr #honestly no joke Mikey’s probably the cleanest of them all #just by virtue of being a chef #Leo I see as a mixture since he no doubt loves to pamper himself so he’s clean like #a percentage of time before he goes out and ruins his own hard work #Donnie is similar in that he’s just VERY SELECTIVE about what he thinks is too gross #Raph may be more on the stinky end but it’s not his fault he has his stinks and eats things of dubious origin(esp since his bros ate poison) #Donnie and Leo really have the gall to be sick about Raph eating the origami salami but they have no room to talk #all their villains are prob like please stay away from us we have salmonella now

[watchingwisteria]

im so sorry i get it now i really do, the gay angels have me shaking screaming crying at all hours of the day and night, they mean everything to me i am literally thinking about them all the time and what it would mean to love someone steadily and silently through eternity, what it would mean to love across the lines of a divine war of supposed good and evil, what it would mean to carve out a space for oneself and ones lover in no man’s land, in the grey and moral ambiguity when you were created to be black and white without blemish. god i love them so much i just

#update from the tags : posted this after watching s1 knowing the end of s2 #and i was like hm hope im not too offbase #but imagine my surprise when they literally said ‘i love this space we carved for ourselves’ #I WAS SICK #ineffable husbands #<< u dont get it. i used to see that and it meant nothing to me. now its like a knife inside me #good omens #aziracrow #crowley #aziraphale #ur girl watches good omens #experiencing full brain rot. like every song is about them somehow #im imaginging edits in my head bc i do nawt have time to make them for real #i just bought the book and i am about to devour it #lol another update #the drama in this post is so HDISJSISB but i was FEELING IT #i was GOING THROUGH IT… #and when i think abt them for too long i still am

[icewindandboringhorror]

I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :

-

(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )

#tumblr polls #hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today #still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual #They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully #it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec #fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since #I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm #ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos #or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things #I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming #over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY #I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb #e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about #different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see #stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I #can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud.. #but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone #said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects #the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm

[luxrayz64]

like we were so fucking robbed of seeing perez in the wake of saw vs events I want to see her getting out of the hospital and flipping tables and pointing a gun in ericksons face after being told that strahm is the lead suspect. I want to see her having a breakdown after strahms fingerprints come back dead. I want to see her hand twitching over her gun everytime she sees hoffman. I want to see her fucking losing it and desperate to avenge her friend and partner and to clear his name. I want to see the thought process that lead to her inviting known serial killer mark hoffman to the basement lab just so she could torture him psychologically before she had a legitimate excuse to shoot him. I want to see more of her and I want to see how strahms death impacted her the way the reverse impacted him.

#lindsey perez lindsey perezzzzz #we did not see nearly enough of her #she was so overshadowed by strahm in iv and then didnt even get to be a main character in vi #she showed up. psychologically tortured hoffman. and then she died (again). #realistically she's way better at hiding her insanity so I think she wouldn't lose it nearly as bad as strahm did #but I want just one little moment where she's on her own and she fucking loses it #forced to let your boss tell your best friend you're dead. he goes missing. is declared a suspect. turns up dead. no body to bury #more of her pov on these events please. please. please. #it would be so sanity inducing cause she KNEW it was hoffman. her last words to strahm was hoffmans name #and she knew him so well.... she must've known strahm went after him in the wake of her 'death'. the fucking guilt she must have felt #espeon cries #saw #i am so so sick in the head about her today

[yeet-me-out-tonight]

im not okay

#this scene changed me on a molecular level. like y'all don't understand #head in my hands. pacing in my room. scaling my walls. gnawing my arm off. #sick and twisted #guillermo de la cruz #nandor the relentless #nandermo #nandor x guillermo #what we do in the shadows s5 #what we do in the shadows spoilers #wwdits s5 spoilers #wwdits spoilers #wwdits s5 #wwdits

[f4keplastictr33s]

thinking about flowers’ petal (that came right of blue’s mind via cabeswater) being compared to kisses and they landed right on gansey’s mouth meanwhile the petals avoided adam and landed all around him :/ also adam watching the petals fall bc he’s an eternal observer :/

#the raven cycle #gansey #trc #adam parrish #excuse me i just love this moment and it’s not talked about enough for my taste #bluesey #bluesey you will always be famous #flower petals synonym for desire and kisses and and #blue just want to kiss gansey #also it’s a blue lily who falls on gansey’s mouth #the fact that we know that blue thinks gansey has a nice mouth and THIS happens #blue get up #im rereading and losing my shit rn #also the mention of rain after.. yk where else we’ve seen rain? GANSEY’S SPIRIT WHEN BLUE THINKS GANSEY WILL DIE WHILE IT’S RAINING #AND HERE THE BLUE LILY IS ‘KISSING’ GANSEY’S MOUTH and just after it’s compared to rain #rain being associated with gansey’s death by blue #and the kiss #it’s literally a big metaphor for the fatal kiss im sick in the head

[sastiel-is-my-serotonin]

So, we have money set aside that we cannot touch for a place to live. We have incomes coming our way. We are simply trying to survive until we can secure housing. But we don't have the funds yet because we're waiting on approvals and such. We're going to try and stay at hotels until then, because sleeping in parking lots is scary with a car full of girls.

Especially when we break down and have to push the car. One of those nights we managed to get to a parking lot and most people kept their distance even with greetings. But while I was getting something out of the trunk, bend over looking for something, someone was trying to talk to me and calling me beautiful and it was gross. Saying things to me and my sister but she didn't notice. The only reason he left us alone was because some other guy shooed him away which I grateful for. But a lot of the times there aren't people willing to do that you know? And that was like at two a.m. or something, not an hour of politeness.

Plus it's been raining and that in itself has made me want to curl up in a ball and stay away from cars. Got too much car trauma for that shit.

Basically, trying to avoid more trauma for myself and my siblings, and my mother. If anyone could please help, whether it's a dollar or five, just whatever you can!! We appreciate it greatly!!

Paypal

Cash.app

Gofund.me

#Everytime we're just trying to make it just a little bit longer bc we have something to help #We go through absolute hell before and it sucks #Like I'm so fucking sick - my body is screaming at me to rest but I'm trying to get things done #Things that aren't guaranteed later bc we never know where we're going to sleep #If we'll get a place to rest our heads #Like it sucks and I wish so much better for my siblings #We're so close we just need to make it a little bit longer #That's what's keeping us going just a little bit more

[castielsprostate]

the guillotine would solve so many issues. SO many issues.

#come on. we can literally bring it back #who's going to stop us???? like??? actually????? off with their heads #we're basically in the modern middle ages. no one can afford anything everyone is getting sick of something. our world leaders are fascists #bring back the guillotine #sjonnie.text #make world leaders scared again. make high society fear for their lives. #also cannibalise the dutch pm for funsies. we can do that also #netherlands

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

thinking abt these two again. i need to be sedated

knight!sugu who sacrifices you to save the world thinking he has no other choice. who instantly becomes enveloped by a guilt so heavy it crushes him.

prince!gojo who sacrifices the world to save you with a smile on his face. who tells you to find him in your next life as he watches the stars go out one by one.

#i prefer sugu <3 #moss and mickey ruined my life w knight!sugu and prince!gojo….. T_T they haunt my every waking thought #i think my version of prince!gojo is just. a more selfish gojo (and maybe just a bit more twisted) im still figuring him out tho!! #hes a little sick in the head but hes a kind man at heart :3 and we love him. hes a good ruler who cares abt fairness and equality !! #but he would probably also ruin literally everyone who ever hurt u if u let him #meanwhile knight!sugu is just . destined for tragedy No Matter What psjdjdj #the idea of suguru choosing his duty over love…. and being so crushed by that decision that it warps his identity……. yeah. #hes so doomed by the narrative i need to save him #geto x reader #gojo x reader

[evilkaeya]

Living in yokohama in bsd must be crazy. Imagine you go to your balcony for some alone time after a long, tiring day and you see a kid driving up the building vertically in his pink motorbike

#you go to 7/11 and there's a sick victorian looking guy buying snacks with a raccoon on his head #you're walking down the street and there's a blond kid carrying a cow in his hands #you turn on the tv one day and huh. your math teacher is a terrorist now apparently. #we need a chapter or two from npc pov tbh #like what is it like living in yokohama as a non ability user #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd chuuya

[baby-xemnas]

them 💛🧡

#one piece #ambiguous size of bepos head strikes again #its fine look how cute he looks baby boy #always together #stampede movie was sick cuz hancock made it but if only it could have bepo itd be perfect then #you can separate them or smth. temporarily that is. #but i want them fighting side by side in filler bullshit #they deserve it #if stampede didnt have bepo but red did and he was great in it we are going in an upwards trajectory #next movie you will have law as ur fanservice man of sex - have his husband there too