— GONNA BREAK HIS F✗CKING SPINE, WANNA DANCE UNTIL WE DIE
RECEIVERS。stalker!nikolai gogol x fem!reader
WISHCARD。“I flirt with my woman by chasing her with a knife, dearest. And she likes it. She loves it. She loves it so much that she can't stop thinking about it. She thinks of her chaser so much that her pretty brain can't hold all the thoughts she had about him that she has to put it all down into her little journal.” Nikolai presses his knife a bit harder, “She likes it.”
BOUQUET。stalker au, 18+ content, dark content, harsh languages, very dubious consent, predator/prey dynamics, threats, manipulation, rough semi-public unprotected s*x, horror descriptions, repetitions are intentional, masochism, violence, impact play, oral (both receiving), knife play, hints of ‘exhibitionist’, light mindbreak, very toxic relationship, obsessive and possessive behaviour, dead dove do not eat
PRICE。approx. 23.6k+
FREEGIFT。chills - dark version (mickey valen, joey myron), night drive (henry), lost soul down (nbsplv), hush (ari abdul), freak show (punkinloveee, h3artcrush)
OTHER SHOP。also available on AO3
❝ Day 6 of him not being outside my house.
One more night and it will be officially a week since he last came here. Truthfully, dear diary, I know I should feel relieved and happy that one threat to my life is gone, even if it's temporary.
But I think he fucked me so hard that he fucked my head too.
I can't stop thinking about him. Not in a bad way. I just can't get him out of my head. Every fucking time, I find myself looking at my phone at work because I hope he texted me creepy messages. I purposely wear short clothes when I'm out in the living room because I want to tease him. I don't even lock my doors, hell, I even leave my wardrobe slightly open.
Why why why why am I acting like this? I'm losing my logical sense! I should not do those stuff! I should not rile a fucking murderer! No normal human would think of walking around their house topless, nipples out, perked and shit, just for their fucking stalker to see!
I blame my fucking hormones.
Maybe he's right. Maybe I'm a whore this whole time.
I am ashamed of myself.
I am also ashamed that I actually wait for him to barge in my house again. I want to experience that first night when he first talked to me as Kolya. I want him to wat no no what the fuck am I writing
Anyway, dear diary, I'm quite excited about this weekend. I will go out to have a drink— actually we'll get fucking drunk so fuck yea
I wouldn't call myself a lonely person, but I do... have very few friends. Maybe it's because of my weird hobby. Maybe it's just my social skills. But, putting that aside, I am quite happy that I am actually invited to go.
Because nobody invites me that often. pathetic bitch
And very rarely do people take my invitation to go on some horror adventures with me. I could count on one hand how many people have come with me to enjoy those scary things.
Maybe I should put myself out there. I can't stay this aloof and alone without a companion, or a genuine genuine friendship. Romance is one thing, but to be honest, having a deep friendship is beautiful too.
I hope I can have a best friend. Maybe one day. If I don't fuck myself up in my life so badly, that is. ❞
— ♡
Loud beeping shocks you.
Your eyes shoot wide open. The bedroom is incredibly dark and you would think you're deep six feet under if only your eyes are not doing their best trying to focus and if the moon is not there to glow your room with a bit of light. Your hand frantically looks for your beeping phone and as you reach it, you look at the bright screen. Your eyes automatically try to close because of the sudden light.
3:01 AM
You slide your thumb across the screen to turn off your alarm. Three in the morning, and you don't even remember why did you turn your alarm on at the paranormal hour.
Must be a mistake. — you think. It is most likely that the alarm is for 3:00 PM but you accidentally put it on AM instead. Rookie mistake.
You set your alarm to 9:00 AM and tuck your phone by your pillow. You let out a soft whimper as you arch your back, giving your muscles a little stretch. Your body turns, making you lay on your back.
“You're so cute.”
A deep voice causes your eyes to widen in surprise when you see a tall figure standing by your bed, with his height hovering over you. You gasp loudly out of shock and your flight-or-fight react very quickly as you frantically try to get out of your bed, fearing the dark monster.
“Uh-uh, little dove. You don't want to run from me.”
“Ah!”
You yelp when your ankle is grabbed and easily yanked back, making your whole body get dragged back to the bed.
You turn your head, finally seeing the figure. Tonight's without his mask, only with his black turtleneck and black pants. His braid is as white as snow, as fluffy as cotton, the type of hair you'd be glad to brush your hand through, to pull hard to draw moans and groans from him.
“What the fuck are you doing here, you fucking bastard?!” you scream as you shake your leg to escape his clutch. He chuckles deeply before he leans forward, and then he suddenly wraps his hand around your neck, with his fingers gripping you a little tight, just enough for your breath to halt.
“Shush.”
You nod quickly, tapping his arm so he could give a bit of mercy to release you. He tilts his head, “Promise to lower your voice?” and once again, you nod.
“Good.” he shoves you to the bed, and you cough a bit, wincing at the soreness on your neck. You glare at him and he only giggles, grinning slyly at your pain.
“Fuck you, Nikolai.”
Nikolai smiles as he places his knee on the bed, starting to climb on the mattress. “Yeah? Now?” he teases and he finally gets on the bed, sitting by your side as his large hands are feeling your body that's only covered with a nightgown.
“You're so naughty, dressing up like this while writing your little journal about me. May I see?”
He unfolds his knife from his pocket and uses the blade to shamelessly raise the bottom of your nightgown. His eyes trail down, looking at what's hidden between your thighs. “My my, isn't that the panties bought for you three weeks ago? You really do love me after all!”
“Fucking pervert,” you grunt as you close your thighs. Nikolai scoffs.
“Then push me away if you hate it that much, dolly.” he retracts his knife, purposely slightly grazing the blade on your calf. You hiss as your leg jerks at the cold sting. “But you don't. Because you miss me. You miss my touch and my presence.” Nikolai says as his eyes glance up at you.
“You love me.”
“I don't.”
“I love you too, darling.” Nikolai sighs contently before he suddenly hugs you, laying his head on your breasts. He hums, comfortable to rest his head on you. You shift a bit at the sudden weight being dawned against you, slightly grunting but it feels a bit comforting to have that heaviness on your chest. You could smell the peppermint from his white hair.
“You change your shampoo?” you ask.
Nikolai chuckles. “No, it's just my new hair oil,” he replies before he looks up at you from your chest. He smiles sweetly. “You noticed.”
“... Stop flattering yourself like a delusional creep. Get off me.”
“No. I love your boobs.”
“Is that how you flirt with women? Pathetic.”
“I flirt with my woman by chasing her with a knife, dearest. And she likes it. She loves it. She loves it so much that she can't stop thinking about it. She thinks of her chaser so much that her pretty brain can't hold all the thoughts she had about him that she has to put it all down into her little journal.”
Nikolai smirks at you before he raises his body a bit, now tracing your body with his knife again. The sharp point grazes your nightgown-covered body, from your tummy — teasing your belly button and up up up to your breasts.
The point of his knife circles your nipple, only barricaded by a thin fabric. You exhale a shaky breath as your eyes shut at the threat of the knife poking through your skin, bleeding you. And when Nikolai presses the knife a bit harder on your nipple, you cannot help the moan that escapes your throat.
“She likes it.”
His voice is taunting as he whispers right by your ear. His warm tongue licks the spot just below your ear, kissing your skin softly as you squirm slightly — and you immediately freeze your squirming when you feel a sharp poke from the knife.
“Gosh, if I were to be a bit crazier, I'll eat you.” Nikolai moans, grinding against your thigh and you look at him with mouth slightly agape, releasing soft breathing and eyes almost hooded, slowly dominated by hazy lust.
He keeps kissing your neck, sucking your skin as you try to control your body, especially your upper half, since his knife is still against your hardened nipple.
“I like your noises. You sound exquisite, my love,” he murmurs by your ear. A sharp pitchy breath is heard when he drops his knife in between your cleavage. His hand clasps your side, a bit up — just where your ribcage is supposed to be. He groans.
“I adore you, love. I adore you so fucking much. Why do you wake up at this hour? Why why why, birdie? I can't hold myself now. I just want to stare at you — I have been watching you sleep for hours. Hours, my dear, and I never bore.”
You look at him and his eyes are piercing you deeply. His face is blushing as he raises from his position. With one hand on your rib and one hand on the side of your face, he looks at you, too affectionately — it's too affectionate that it looks nothing more than a simple obsession.
“You're fucking crazy.”
Nikolai smiles.
“Don't you want it? I promise I will keep your gorgeous body in a glass box, like I always said. Would you like your corpse to be in a bride's dress? With white lilies and roses? Do you want me to put your favourite lingerie on your body? I'll make you pretty, inside and outside.”
His hand slips into your gown, rubbing your inner thigh before he slips it out, making your gown pool on your waist.
Your lips quiver as your thighs shift away from his touch. You shake your head, looking at him with a light frown. Nikolai only cackles. “It seems that I accidentally scared my little dove.”
“Why the fuck are you here? I was already so glad you were gone for a week.” you snarl, shoving his face away but Nikolai only smiles when his face is turned to the side. He looks back at you.
“I miss you, baby. Isn't that obvious? And well, my work is pretty tiring these days. I am feeling burnt out, especially when I can't go to see you as usual.” he mumbles as he brings his index finger to trace your tummy, spelling his name. Then he looks at you.
“I miss you, dearest. Don't you miss me too?”
“Get off my fucking bed, you creep.”
“Avoiding the question, ain't we? And please, don't call me a creep. Hurts me a bit, sweetheart.” he teases, giving your collarbone a soft kiss. You groan and push him, only nudging him to lie next to you.
“You are so clingy!” you sigh, only making him laugh.
“You're always so rough to me. Maybe this is what they call harsh love? Were you loved wrongly before, my dear?” he taunts again as he tries to get closer. But, you immediately take the knife that's laying on your chest and point it at him.
You glare at him but he is only watching you, amused. Nikolai is still smiling slyly, tilting his head as if he is looking at something so adorable — a mocking gesture, to challenge you to come and hurt him with his own blade.
“I like my girl feisty. And you're such. I will marry you if you manage to bleed me, my love.”
You scoff and carelessly throw the knife towards him, which he takes immediately to conceal it back inside his pocket. “Dangerous, love. You might get hurt. I don't care how much you like to hurt me because I know you're secretly a big masochist — but sweetheart, please don't hurt yourself with your own hands.” he says, his voice is careful and gentle, it almost scares you with how many layers he possesses in his whole existence.
Isn't he so nice?
“.... Whatever...” you mumble, looking away. But still, you will take his words to your own account — for your own benefit, of course.
“You look tired,” Nikolai comments and you glare at him. He only grins, knowing well he is the reason why your brain is fucking fresh at three in the morning. He then reaches out to you, stroking your head.
“Don't sweat it, dear. This weekend you have your outing with friends, right? It's unfortunate, my dear, but it seems that I couldn't look after you from afar.” Nikolai coos as his finger touches your face. You look at him, baffled.
“I don't need you to look after me from afar. And that's not being caring, you sick fuck. That's stalking. And that is a crime.” you point your finger at his chest, poking it hardly. Nikolai snickers.
“Thank you for the lesson, dear. Well then, I think I must go. Although I do want to stay longer and maybe maybe maybe I could sleep with you, I actually have work tomorrow morning.” Nikolai says as he retracts his hand from you and gets up from the bed.
“Yeay, you're leaving.” your voice is monotonous as your hands are shaking in the air as if you are so excited that he is leaving. He looks at you before he sits back on the bed, causing you to sigh loudly.
“Get out, damn it! I want to sleep!”
“I don't wanna leave yet, love. This place is so comfortable, so home. Maybe it's because it's yours.”
You press your lips together — he always has his way of words, and it's a shame to say his words never fail to prick into your heart little by little. You sigh internally as Nikolai keeps looking at you.
“I'm worried,” he says. You look at him, confused.
“What for?”
“You're going out with your friends this weekend. And I won't be around to look after you. I mean, I know you're capable of protecting yourself — you almost kick my balls back in the maze too — but I'm still worried, you know. You can't trust people these days.”
You scoff at his words. Yeah, sure — I really can't trust people these days.
“They're not my friends, just coworkers. Acquaintances, if you will.”
Nikolai sighs. “I figured. You seldom come to the circus with anyone. I only ever noticed... a couple of times.” he says before he gently pulls you to stand between his legs. He holds your hips, not allowing you to back away as he would only pull you closer once you take an inch back.
“I can be your friend. I will be your friend.”
You purse your lips, looking at him with hesitation. Your hands are holding his shoulders, tightening a bit when he offers to be your friend. He smiles at you, kindly this time — as if he doesn't force himself into your room, onto your bed, teasing and touching and holding you as he pleased.
“I will be your friend, love. I will listen to your rambles, your joy, your disappointments, and all your feelings. I will keep them secrets, tightly quiet. I will be your shoulder to cry on and you can always use me to release your anger.” he sighs contently before he rests his head on your tummy.
“We can watch movies together, we can dine together, bake each other's favourite cookies. And then you can braid my hair while I knit your new scarf. We can cuddles — cuddles in cold weather! I'll give you most of the blanket — I was born in a cold place, after all, I'm used to it. Then we can read books — you've been reading that collection of short stories these days, from Evening on a Farm Near Dikanka. We can do each other's make-up — I can make you the prettiest harlequin ever. Won't you like that, love? That's what friends do, right?”
He is practically wrapping his arms around your thighs, just under your ass, hugging you tightly. His hand is as naughty as ever, teasing the hem of your panties, feeling the chub of your ass.
You shiver a bit at his touch, especially because he grazes your skin with his ruby-polished nails. Nikolai breathes softly against you, slowly riding your gown up until it reveals your stomach.
“N-Nikolai...”
“I will say this again and again, sweetheart. I love it when you say my name.” he kisses your stomach, making you gasp at the sudden touch of his lips. He takes your hand, placing it on the bundle of your gown.
“Hold it up.”
You obey, holding the fabric, clenching it as he kisses you. From your stomach to your pelvis, he kisses and nibbles your skin gently, nothing rough, nothing demanding.
“Back to the question, love.”
“H-Huh?” you look at him, confused. For a short moment of him touching you, you have forgotten that this man is your very stalker who has been posing dangers in your life.
If he's so dangerous, then why is he so nice?
“Friend? With me? Yes?”
Nikolai is looking at you from below — just the same level as your stomach. Your body shakes a bit at his eyes. You swallow hard, trying to think of an answer.
“N-No. No, you're not my friend.”
Nikolai snickers — there. There is that cruel haunting smile.
“I ask you once again.” now he is just boldly groping your ass, holding you. His hands cupping your ass cheeks make you yelp in surprise and your grip on his shoulders hardened.
“Will you be friends with me, dove?”
You purse your lips. His stare is just demanding, especially his lewd gesture toward you right now. For once, you want to see this man get shocked, to get surprised by something that he is trying to lure you into.
“...... Surprise is beauty. Unexpectedness is bliss. Why don't we play another game, then?”
Your hands move. The right one trails down to his chest and the left one slithers up to his chin. Nikolai's eyes twitch when you bring his chin up. His breathing gets frantic when you lean near to his face.
“Love—”
You can feel his lips pouting slightly, intending to come into the expected kiss. But you stop, only millimetres away before you peck the corner of his lips instead.
“No friends.”
You move back, much to his disappointment, clear in his frustrated groan. You almost smirk when you see his dissatisfied face. Nikolai clicks his tongue before he gives a light smack on your ass.
“Come kiss me.”
“No.”
“Please kiss me.”
“No.”
“I promise I'll be good.”
“No.”
Nikolai pouts, once again smacking your ass lightly before he lets his hands fall to his side, resting on the mattress. “Fine.” he huffs. You coo — internally — because it kinda reminds you of a sulky cat.
“You know what else I'll say 'yes' to?” you ask, throwing a bait.
“What?”
“I'll definitely say yes if you are willing to get the fuck out of my house.”
Nikolai snorts. “Right. Right, you have work tomorrow after all,” he says before he shifts a bit on your bed and takes out a box of cigarettes from his pocket. You frown.
“I don't know you're a smoker.”
“Ironic, isn't it? I know a lot about you.” he bites the cigarette, now looking for a lighter. “But you don't know a lot about me — what you know is just my day job, my reputation as Gogol and me as... Nikolai.”
“If this is your way of coping with your internal monologue, then it's not healthy,” you say. “Don't take it as a way of me caring for you. I don't give a shit. You, smoking in my house would make stain my environment with tobacco. Who likes that? Surely not me.” you are quick to add, as soon as you see that glimpse of excitement in his eyes. Nikolai only looks at you.
“Now, come on and don't make yourself comfortable in my house, on my bed, in my room. I said you need to leave right now.” you take his arm and pull him up, surprisingly he gets up, complying with your words. You are a bit surprised to see him following you to the main entrance because you were sure he would put up a fight.
“Poor little ol' me, getting kicked out, having to sleep outside in freezing cold air! Poor me, poor me!”
“Shut your theatrics and go home! If you have one, that is, clown!” you finally managed to push him out of your house but Nikolai is still trying to enter again, blocking the doorway with his figure — his height certainly makes it harder for you.
“Kiss me goodbye. Just one. One, please, baby. Baby, please just kiss me.”
“No, fuck off and don't smoke.”
You push him as hard as you could and quickly slam the door close, locking it. Nikolai grabs the handle, twisting it but it could only rattle. He knocks multiple times. “Hey! Just a kiss, please! Baby, open the door!”
When there's no answer, Nikolai sighs to himself with a chuckle — he is not exactly disappointed but it's a shame he could not tease you more. He swears to himself to come again and he will get his long-awaited kiss.
He turns around, stepping away from your door. He slips his hand into his pocket, trying to find his lighter but then he stops. His track also halts in the middle of the pathway to your house.
Nikolai pulls away the unlit cigarette between his lips and drops it to the ground.
“As you wish, my love.”
— ♡
You are quite wasted.
Going out with your friends on a Saturday night does sound fun after all.
What could go wrong, right?
“Hey, girl! Take this before you leave!”
You are already supported by your friend, Alex. He is a heavy drinker, but he can handle more alcohol than the rest of your group of friends. You turn to your other friends who are still staying to drink more.
“What?”
“We got free tickets for a haunted fair! Here's one for you.” one of the girls approaches you with a grin as she slips a folded ticket into your pocket. Your mushy mind is taking the time to process her words before you shake your head.
“Haunted fair?! No, no! I don't wanna!” you say as you try to take out the ticket.
“Oh, come on! I thought you liked those kinds of stuff. We can go explore it together!” she says as she holds your wrist from taking the ticket out. You whine, stomping your foot.
“There's a fucking creepy fucking guy who chases people with a knife! Fucking shirtless too!”
“Oof, she's definitely wasted,” Alex comments. Your friend laughs as she taps your shoulder.
“Must be one of her scary movies. Take her home safely, okay?”
Before you protest, you are dragged out by Alex. He gets you into the car, strapping you with the seatbelt. You huff, leaning your head back as your escort gets to the driver's seat.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, yeah.” you wave your hand, dismissing his question. He only chuckles before he starts the engine. Then, he drives to your house. Silence surrounds the journey as you are too deep in your not-sober thoughts.
“I don't wanna go to the haunted fair.” you mumble and Alex hums, indicating that he's listening.
“Well, she gets the ticket for all of us... I don't think I'd refuse the invitation.”
“You got a ticket too?” you suddenly jump on your seat, turning to him. He hums again and nods. You slip your hand into your pocket and take out the ticket. It is a bit crumpled.
Such a familiar ticket. Such a familiar haunted fair.
“Oh, just come! I'm sure it will be fun! Besides, how many of us have seen a circus show before? And to go to a horror-themed fair in a not Halloween season? It will be fun, don't you think?” Alex says. You purse your lips, frowning.
“Why when she gets free tickets, everyone wanna go but when I invite, no one wants to come?” you murmur, accidentally a bit loud, causing Alex to look at you for a short moment before he needs to focus on the road again.
You huff and you lean to the seat again. The ride is once again silent. And after almost ten minutes, you two have finally arrived at your house. You immediately try to go out of the car but you wince in pain when the buckled seatbelt is still around you.
“Ow!”
“Haha, careful there. Come on, let me help you.” Alex immediately gets out of the car. He walks to your side and opens the door, helping you to get out and supporting you to walk to your house.
You huff, surrendering yourself to get assisted. Alex brings you to the door and you try to get your key in the pocket inside your coat. But being half or perhaps barely sober, you are clearly having trouble with it.
“Okay, okay. Let me help.” he immediately slips his hand into your pocket, taking out your key. He unlocks your door and drags you inside, practically shoving you to sit on the couch.
“Alright, girlie. I have to take care of you until I'm sure you can manage yourself, alright?” he says as he takes off your boots and coat. You only comply, letting Alex take care of you. You are slouching on the couch until your eyes catch your uncovered window.
You sit straight immediately.
Usually, Nikolai would appear there.
His tall figure standing in the dark, leaning in your direction in amusement as he watches. He watches you for a long time, just enjoying your night routine. Sometimes with a smile, now that he has discarded his mask. Sometimes accompanied by several small flashes of his camera. And sometimes, with the sharpness of his knife, trailing on the glass. He will just be there in the shadow, lurking when you're eating, sewing, journaling, or working.
He'll be there watching.
But,
“Hm? Is there something wrong?” Alex approaches you and you turn to him. Your dear friend looks at you and then at the window. “What? You start hallucinating now?” he laughs a bit.
“N-No... Nothing, nothing.”
“No one's outside. Don't worry. There's no one at the window.” he assures you as he gives you a glass of water. You look at the water and then the window.
“No one's there?” you ask, voice small and disappointed.
“Nope. No one. No ghosts, no slendermen.” Alex replies. “Why? You need me to check for you too?” he asks and tilts forward a bit, as if he was about to get up.
“No need! You're gonna get fucked!” you scold him, pulling him by his arm before you reach the glass.
So he still doesn't come tonight. He must have been so busy with his haunted fair. You grunt to yourself, finding this annoying for some reason. You chug down the water, fast enough that some of it drips to your chin.
“Fuck, one more!”
“God damn, it is not a fucking whiskey, woman.” Alex sighs as he takes the glass. Then he pulls you up a bit to hold you up. You follow his movement, allowing him to hug you close as he drags you to your room.
Alex brings you to the bed and while in his embrace, you fall straight onto the mattress, accidentally pulling Alex down with you.
“Ow.” you wince.
Alex gasps as he is on top of you. You whimper a bit at his weight dawning on you. You flicker your eyelids, trying to nudge him.
“Alex...”
Your voice falters when you feel Alex's fingers trace your jaw. Your eyes shoot up to him, seeing Alex's face blushing faint crimson. You purse your lips — for some reason, you don't feel good about what's about to happen.
His hand is still stroking your face and you shudder at the touch. His thumb rubs your lower lip as his eyes are tracing the pretty features of your face.
You freeze. Your eyes shoot up to him.
“H-Hey...” your word slurs.
“I... I actually...” Alex murmurs. His blush is more apparent the longer you two are in this position. You nudge him, but he leans forward. “Please, please, just one... Just one.”
One what?
Then, he raises your chin up. Before you could react, you feel his lips slam onto yours, blocking the air from the gaps of your lips. Your eyes widen as your body gets tense. Alex's lips move greedily on yours as if he is desperate to savour your whole, sloppy it is, especially when you can barely act on it too.
“Mmh!” you move your head to the side, essentially breaking the kiss. But your friend doesn't stop as he moves his head to your neck, giving a lick to your skin before he sucks on it.
“A-Ah! Stop, A-Alex..!”
“Please,” he whispers, kissing your neck, down to your collarbone. “Just one time—”
Bam!
Suddenly a loud knock — not even a knock, that's a straight bang. Someone is banging the door to your room, so fucking hard that it thunders.
Bam! Bam! Bam!
The loud banging continues and you gasp, scared. Your mind is fresh almost immediately at the thrilling fear. You sit up, along with Alex. He is also surprised and he's visibly frozen by the banging on the door of your bedroom.
“Oh, God.”
“It's okay—” Alex whispers to you as he hugs you as if he is reassuring you everything will be fine. The banging pauses and the house becomes silent again, only with the heavy nervous breaths of the two of you.
“I... I will check it—”
“No, Alex. No.” you pull him by his arm, keeping him close to you. Alex frowns slightly, worried.
“It's okay. I know you are afraid but I promise, I won't be long. I'll just check the corridor outside.” he says with a gentle voice, holding your face with both hands. You shake your head frantically, still holding his arm.
“No. N-No, please stay... I'm not scared about myself. I'm... I'm worried about you...”
Because you will get killed if you step out.
Alex's gaze softens but then becomes alerted when the door is knocked again. No more banging but it's loud enough to indicate that the person outside is still around.
“Hey... We can't just let that motherfucker corner us like this.” Alex says as he looks around your room. He opens your drawer, abruptly. Your eyes widen, a bit offended that he did not ask for permission — especially when in the drawer, there is a knife that you treasure so much.
It's a small knife, with a red bulbous shiny handle, and a golden signature is carved on it.
It's the souvenir, from your unforgettable chase, the very thing you used to touch yourself out of extreme desperation, when you were too depraved of his touch, needing his warmth to comfort you on the same night you were chased.
“Okay, this is good enough,” Alex says before he gets up, practically dashing to the door. You try to catch up to him, anxious. You feel as if your blood is at its peak, only waiting for it to burst in frustration.
“Alex—”
He opens the door and raises the knife in a stabbing motion.
But, the whole corridor of the rooms in your house is empty, completely vacant of any human. Unknowingly, you let out a long relieved breath.
“What?” Alex looks around. He steps further outside, trying to find the perpetrator. You only keep an eye on him closely, worried that he would come out of the shadow and brutally murder a friend.
“Alex!” you shout for him and he finally returns to you. A clear concern washes his face as he looks at you.
“Alex... I think, I think you should leave...” you slowly say. Alex looks baffled as he once again touches your face. The knife drops to the floor as he stares at you with worry.
“What are you saying? I would not leave you alone after that freaky shit happen. It is not safe.” Alex says before he pulls you into your room. “Let's get out of here. You can't stay here tonight. It's too dangerous.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Let's go to my house. Just for a night. Until we can report the police about what happened.”
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, not even the police...!
“No! No, I'll be totally fine! Please! I just need you to trust me this time and leave.” you say, almost pleading to him — maybe you are already pleading by how you desperately clutch his arm. Alex looks at you, concerned.
“Please, Alex. Trust me and leave. I promise I'll be safe tonight. I will.” you say as you look at him, this time, your eyes are firmly staring. You could see the hesitation in Alex's face before he sighs.
“Okay... Okay, I'll trust you. I'll leave. But please call me if the knocking happens again. I'll... I'll be around the neighbourhood until I'm sure you are asleep.” Alex says. You nod fast and practically shove him to the door.
As you two are at the entrance door, you bid farewell to Alex who is still unsure. You reassure him once more and he finally leaves to his car. You close the door, locking it.
“Fucking God...” you sigh. The whole event makes you sober almost instantly. You feel your pants to get your phone, in case Alex might contact you later in the late hours. But your phone is nowhere on you.
So you look around, a bit sluggish as you are still very exhausted. At last, after five minutes of looking, you find your phone in the pocket of your coat.
You throw yourself on the couch, lying on it. The walk to your bedroom sounds so tiring. You will just sleep here for the night. You tap the screen twice and the screen lit up. Then, you see messages — a lot of messages.
Kolya [10:28 p.m.] : my rehearsal is still not ending! (-ω-、)
Kolya [11:22 p.m.] : SOME OF THEM ARE STILL DISCUSSING. I CAN'T LEAVE (メ' ロ ´)
Kolya [11:22 p.m.] : Heyyy respond to me! 。・゚゚*(>д<)*゚゚・。
Kolya [11:23 p.m.] : oh! fyi, baby, as the ringmaster, i always have to leave the last (。•́︿•̀。) shucks :(
Kolya [12:31 p.m.] : i'm out! yeay! ヽ(>∀<☆)ノ
Kolya [12:33 p.m.] : i'm coming to you, dovey! (´,,•ω•,,)♡ maybe you're already asleep now but it's okay~ okie dokie lemon cookie yeah? <33
Kolya [12:34 p.m.] : you may be sleeping and then i'll be behind your wall, watching you |▽//) don't be too stuck up about it!
Kolya [12:34 p.m.] : we both know you loved being watched.
Kolya [12:35 p.m.] : what is this silent treatment? you're fucking dead or asleep? hmmmm???
Kolya [12:37 p.m.] : i'm on my way tho! see you, love❤️
Kolya [1:16 a.m.] : whose car is that?
Kolya [1:18 a.m.] : who the fuck is that?
Kolya [1:27 a.m.] : why are you like that? are you okay??
Kolya [1:28 a.m.] : if he touches you, i'll cut all his hands and chop his fingers.
Kolya [1:28 a.m.] : why don't you answer me? are you okay?
Kolya [1:28 a.m.] : i'm looking at the camera
Kolya [1:29 a.m.] : i swear i'll cut his hands off if he touches you any further
Kolya [1:32 a.m.] : dove if he's on you for any more second, i'll cut his dick next
Kolya [1:33 a.m.] : did he kiss you? did he kiss you? answer me! answer me please dove did he kiss you? dove please answer me now tell me did he kiss you?
Kolya [1:33 a.m.] : i'll fucking kill him
Kolya [1:35 a.m.] : why the fuck is he hugging you now?
Kolya [1:36 a.m.] : my dove.
Me [1:47 a.m.] : Nikolai?
Kolya [1:47 a.m.] : i'm a bit angry, my dove. i'll see you later. goodnight, sweetheart.
— ♡
You could not sleep.
It is ten in the morning and you could barely sleep peacefully last night as your mind is disturbed by the last message from Nikolai. You know his 'a bit angry' is not just a mere annoyance. You are worried about Alex. Maybe you shouldn't be — because he attempted to make out with you while you are barely sober, but, what makes him so different from Nikolai who chased you and breached into your room?
“Agh....” you grunt as you slam your head on your desk. You are in your office now, working. Alex is also your co-worker but he's in a different department.
Your brain is fatigued and in need of a good long rest. Your eyes are fluttering close, trying to fight off the sleepiness that is still lingering in your brain. Until, you hear a young male voice calling your name.
Immediately, you raise your head. And there, you see a man in a white uniform and a black cap standing right in front of your desk. Your co-workers are giggling, and then you realize the man is holding a small bouquet of red roses.
He calls your name again, confirming your identity and you quickly nod. “Yes, yes, that's me.” He smiles and then gives the bouquet to you. You look at him, confused. Regardless, you still take the bouquet. “From who?” you ask.
“The sender doesn't want to tell his name. I think it must be a surprise, miss.” the man says. You frown a bit but you force a smile and nod. You thank him and he leaves the office.
“Ooh~ someone's getting a present.”
“Aww, I wish my girlfriend would do that!”
“That’s so sweet!”
“Hush and get back to your work!” you pout to your friends and they only laugh at your reaction. You huff and lean to your seat, looking at the bouquet. The roses are fresh as if they were just bought from a nearby flower shop. You try to think of any possible name that might have sent the flowers, but you could only think of him.
Because he is the one who loves to do this thing — just to show you that he knows everything about you.
“What a fucking surprise, huh?” you murmur to yourself as you reach for your phone, finding his contact that he puts into your phone without even you knowing it. You have tried to delete it a couple of times before but he will just keep adding his number back into your phone.
Me [10:28 a.m.] : What's with the flowers? You think you're gonna spook me because you know where I work at?
You put down your phone on your table as you look at the bouquet again. There, you notice a small note in the crook of the flowers. You carefully take it, as there are still small thorns around the roses. The note is folded and there's a small pouch of fruit candies tied together with the note. You untie the pouch and open the note.
❝ I hope you get better! :) Let's see each other again when we're going to the fair! <3 - Alex ❞
You freeze.
You feel your heart is getting faster. You feel your mouth is drying. You feel heavy, heavy in your chest as your emotions are mixed from fear to anxiety to concern to fear and more fear and more and more.
Your phone pings, shutting your inner discord. You don't know what kind of notification you would see if you dare to take a glance at the screen. But your phone is just close enough to your vision that you cannot avoid seeing a few messages appearing on the screen.
Kolya [10:30 a.m.] : what flowers?
— ♡
You are too uneasy. You can neither sleep nor sit still. It's been a few days since Nikolai contacted you, let alone met you. You had texted Alex, thanking him for the bouquet and he replied just fine, albeit he took quite a while to reply — but still, it means, Nikolai doesn't do anything to him, yet.
You don't know what he will do. He doesn't appear at your window either. You sit on your chair that is directed at the window, where you could see a glimpse of him. But he is not there. Well, that is to be expected anyway since he has a show tonight.
You don't think texting him more would be wise. He will use that to tease and mock and taunt you further. You even regret your decision to text him about the flowers. You accidentally put Alex's life in danger and if anything happens to him, you don't think you'd forgive yourself easily.
“Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, I shouldn't have done that! I shouldn't even fuck with him either! Oh, God...” you wince in frustration. You feel like you are going crazier and crazier each day, knowing you have a dangerous person in your own shadow.
His presence is everywhere, even if he's nowhere.
Your phone has been pinging nonstop. The group chat is busy and excited to go to the haunted fair tonight. They all want to go, especially after one of the girls gets free tickets from God-knows-who. Your friends are also putting you as the one who would lead them through the fair as you are 'experienced' with this kind of stuff.
Alex is going too, for sure. He seems to be that one guy who's always following the group's fun stuff. You are forced to go. Shall Alex did not anger Nikolai, even if you had been craving to go to a haunted fair with friends, you would exclude yourself from the group.
You would rather stay asleep at home or watch some illegal streaming of the circus on some websites. You would rather snuggle in your blanket alone, knowing for just one night, you are safe from getting stalked, being watched and being touched.
But he is waiting for me.
He waits for me.
— ♡
You just step out of the house. After making sure the door is locked, you turn around to walk out of your garage, but, you see a familiar car already parked in front of your house.
What the fuck...! Does this guy have a death wish or something?
You grit your teeth in frustration as you see Alex waiting for you. You do not even make any promise or arrangement for him to pick you up and go together. Why the fuck is he thinking he will be a gentleman for picking you up?
Alright, calm down. Calm down, me. He's just being nice! He doesn't any better.
“Ah! There you are!” Alex waves his hand at you and you half-heartedly wave back. You walk towards him, putting on a friendly smile.
“Why are you here?” you ask and Alex blushes as his eyes trail your figure. You shift uncomfortably, knowing he is checking you out. Alex chuckles lowly.
“I just... want to pick you up. I thought, we could go together, you know...” he says and you beam at him — fake. You actually want to choke him stupid because he should not come here as you don't even know if Nikolai is preparing for his show or watching you from his hidden cameras around your house.
“Right. Right... Sure, we could go together.”
You mentally sigh as you have to comply with Alex's invitation to avoid suspicion. You get into his car and he also gets inside in the driver's seat. Alex turns on the engine, adjusting the air-conditioner and his appearance in the mirror. You take the chance to check your phone one more time.
Kolya [9:12 p.m.] : Attached an image
Kolya [9:13 p.m.] : can you believe my makeup artist decided to try her new makeup style today without my knowing??? (╥﹏╥)
Kolya [9:13 p.m.] : i mean, it looks cool! she's hella talented but damn, tell me beforehand please???
Kolya [9:14 p.m.] : i'm excited to see you tonight, my love. it is been quite a while, no? i miss you soooo FUCKING MUCH!!! (」><)」 ❤️❤️❤️
Kolya [9:14 p.m.] : and don't go home so quickly, little dove. i want to have fun. i will have fun.
“You okay?” Alex asks abruptly, causing you to look at him and shut your phone instantly before he sees the messages.
“Yeah. I'm good.”
“You're smiling a lot. You texting someone?” he asks and you unconsciously rub your face, a bit stunned as he said you were smiling while you were looking at Nikolai's messages.
“Yeah. Just, a friend...” you reply. Alex chuckles.
“Not a boyfriend?” you immediately shake your head. You won't call your stalker your boyfriend, no matter how many times Nikolai refers to himself as so. One thing that makes you better than him is that you are not fucking delusional.
Sort of.
But you know, you are far too deep in this weird relationship with Nikolai. He is pulling you deeper and deeper. And no matter how much you are trying to convince yourself that you two will never be together, you will always hate him, you will get him to justice — he will always make your heart question itself, spiralling your mind with his presence into a tight knot, something you cannot let go ever.
He craves me. And he makes me feel the same.
That whole sentence alone shames you, purely because you are feeling this sort of sick twisted bliss from it.
“Oh! So, you don't have any partner?”
You look at Alex and deliberately shake your head.
“Nope.”
You notice how Alex seems to smile at himself. You decide not to speak out about it. You turn your attention to the road outside. The night is getting darker but the street is very much alive with shops and night restaurants open.
“So, uh... how do you like the flowers?” Alex strikes a question. You turn to him.
“It is... beautiful.” you give him a small smile and you could see the crimson on his cheek is growing darker. He has been blushing so much around you. And as much as you want to deny it, your head knows the truth.
Someone is having a crush.
“I'm glad you think so,” Alex replies, voice soft. “I bought the flowers because... well... I thought it'd be a nice gesture since we had that weird... phenomenon the night before.”
“Yeah... Yeah, sure...” you feel awkward now. 'Nice gesture' your ass, Alex is totally having a crush and you want to deny and refuse it so badly. You are not attracted to him in any way at all. Well, maybe he's good-looking and nice, but that is all.
You are thinking about how to reject him politely if he ever decides to confess his feelings — God forbid, God please, don't lead me to such fate. Maybe you could record a video of you rejecting his feelings so you could give it to Nikolai so he would stop hunting Alex for unreasonable reasons.
“I think,” Alex speaks. “I think I'm having a feeling towards someone.”
You purse your lips, internally screaming. You look away so he would not see your frowning face. “Good luck with that.”
“Are you not going to ask?”
You silently sigh heavily. “Nope. None of my business. But really, err... good luck with trying to... catch... that person.”
Fucking hell. How long is this journey? Help me, O' Heavenly beings from the above.
“So, uhm... What's your ty—”
“Shit, are we there yet? This girl is spamming me.” you lie, as quickly as you can just to avoid the question. Alex looks baffled as he checks his navigation app.
“O-Oh..! Like, fifteen more minutes!” he replies.
“Oh, alright. I'll tell them where to wait for us,” you say as you immediately start a conversation with a friend, making yourself busy. You avoid any eye contact with him, not wanting to continue the conversation about that. It's just too awkward.
You scroll your messaging app mindlessly, until your thumb accidentally clicks the message between you and Nikolai. You still have not looked at the attached image that he sent. You tap it, and then your screen shows a mirror selfie of Nikolai. His eyes have black diamond eyeliners, with a long streak trail to his cheek on both sides.
Me [9:18 p.m.] : Looks good.
Kolya [9:19 p.m.] : babyyy! hello darling! you finally respond to me! \(★ω★)/ you're coming to the show, right right right?
Me [9:19 p.m.] : Yes, coming.
Kolya [9:19 p.m.] : oh, i'll make you come more than that little dove ;) say it louder, baby
Me [9:20 p.m.] : Go fuck yourself.
Kolya [9:20 p.m.] : already did, love. all while thinking of you and your gorgeous thighs, those pretty tits and that cute cunt. miss you so much, baby. i miss that night too
You cringe at the text and ignore it, but you cannot help a giggle to escape your throat. Alex flashes you a confused look. But he doesn't ask anything, probably because you don't bother looking at him. It will be awkward after all, especially when he cannot be more obvious about his feelings to you. You turn your head to the window, already seeing the red, yellow, white lights in the distance. The haunted fair is only a few hundred metres away.
You get ready, fixing a bit of your appearance and hair. You take one last look at your phone before you put it away in your small handbag.
Kolya [9:21 p.m.] : i love you so much, my dove. i hope you remember that. always.
— ♡
Maybe you are given amused looks by your friends.
You don't know, not sure of it.
But you know you look too darn enthusiastic about the circus performances.
The way the acrobats swing between fire, the way the magicians summon a flock of loud crows from a small box, the way the jesters are throwing sharp knives and the way the aerial performers are hanging in the air with their silks.
“The crowd is too loud tonight, isn't it?”
The voice of the ringmaster is enough to blaze the energy of the crowd. Some people are shouting his name as he smiles proudly, boastful enough about himself.
“Alright, you lots! Oh me, oh my, I did not expect that there are still people who know me!”
Nikolai grins. The last performance is coming up and he's out here to fill the audience's time, as well as perform his own tricks. As a ringmaster, he's also good with crowd work — which is what he is doing. Nikolai looks around the crowd. He roams a bit, drawing cheers and calls from the audience. He is looking for someone to interview, to talk to, to joke and to taunt. And a short moment later, he is looking straight at you. His smile widens as he approaches your section.
“Oh! Oh, my God, is he..?!”
“Shit, he's coming here? Fucking for real?”
“Why is he so hot?”
“He looked at me! He looked at me, I told you!”
Nikolai jumps on the divider between the crowd and the main stage. He stands tall there, placing his cane on the surface as he scans the area around your seat. He is smirking, devilishly.
“You! You look fun to talk with!”
He raises his cane, pointing in your direction... but not you. Rather, he is pointing slightly to your left.
“Me?”
You hear Alex's surprised voice.
Fuck.
You look at Alex and he is visibly nervous at the sudden attention being drawn to him. He glances at you and suddenly, he grips your wrist. You flinch at the touch, eyes frantically going back and forth between him and Nikolai.
“S-Sorry. I need... emotional support.”
Go grab your fucking dick or something! Not me! Especially in front of him!
You look at Nikolai and his eyes are sharp on Alex. And his smile is as malicious as ever — people may think it is just his signature sly smile.
“You look... suitable! Hm, hm! See, that face, that figure, that expression — you are quite a handsome fella, aren't ya?” Nikolai grins as he hops into the audience section. The people screech in excitement and glee when the infamous ringmaster is near them, even though he doesn't spare a glance at all.
He leans to Alex, seizing his chin as he chuckles at the clear nervousness on the poor man's face. “I don't think I have seen you before! My! I must have scared you that you—”
He stands straight and nudges Alex's hand that is gripping your wrist with the cane. His action makes Alex release your hand almost immediately, much to your relief. “—hold her so tightly. Ah, forgive me, gent! I am in no way trying to scare you! But this circus is a place for those who seek thrill and fright!”
“So, may I ask, my honoured sir. If I were...”
Nikolai slips his hand behind his cloak, taking out a small red gift box. “... to give you a present, what would you like?”
Alex gulps. “Well, it depends on the... occasion, I guess.”
“That’s not how it goes! You must reply with items, not unsureness!” Nikolai gasps dramatically. “Lemme give you an example! Maybe, you'd like a...” he shakes the red gift box and then opens it.
“... a lucky card?”
He closes it, shakes it and then opens it.
“Or maybe a babydoll?”
In the box is a detached head of a doll of a baby. And it looks too real, despite it being tiny enough to fit in the small box. Nikolai cackles at the reaction of the audience around him before he closes the box, shakes it and then opens it again.
“Or the first knuckle of someone's index finger? Woah!”
He pretends to throw it to a spot in the audience and it manages to make people a bit surprised, scared that he'll actually throw the finger. Nikolai grins as he closes the box, repeating the act.
“Or, an eyeball?”
He bravely takes out the eyeball from the small gift box, looking at it with a glimmer in his eyes. The eyeball is shiny, gooey and bloody. It looks too real and although you know it's a fake hyper-realistic prop, there's a small doubt in your heart that it might be a real eyeball.
“Beautiful, isn't it? Human eyes can be so beautiful, with how their irises could shine different hues — green, black, blue. Stare at it for too long, and maybe you could see it as a diamond. I used to think, the back of an eyeball must be complex, with natural wires of our body. But turns out, it's too plain to even be called beautiful. It's much prettier to see one's eyes when they're in the socket.”
“Don't you agree?”
He glances at you as he twirls the eyeball around his gloved fingers before he puts it back into the box. He closes it and crumples the box in his palm as if the box is empty as if the box is just a piece of paper.
“Maybe, a flower! Men deserve flowers too! And it's perfect to give to the most beautiful person you have ever laid your eyes on!”
He opens his palm and instead of a crumpled gift box, it is a single tiny red rose — not real, but rather, a plastic miniature of a rose.
And he gives it to you.
“Eh?”
You look at him and Nikolai is grinning. The crowd is cheering, and some girls are expressing jealousy and the need to get a flower too. You shyly take the plastic miniature flower and Nikolai giggles.
“My my! The presence of a beautiful lady surely distracts me from you, my dear gentleman. So, what would be your preferred gift to get? Or shall we go and create a gift together? Yes, yes! Let's make a gift out of you— Ahaha! Nothing! I say nothing!” Nikolai throws his arms in the air happily. Alex only laughs awkwardly as he is visibly uncomfortable by the attention.
Nikolai then smirks as he sees his hesitation.
“Would you like to come to the front?”
People gasp, mostly from amazement and envy, as if it is a big privilege to be invited to come down to the stage and assist the magic. Alex looks at Nikolai and then at you. He purses his lips.
“Okay, I would like to...”
The malicious smile grows bigger on the jester's face. He claps his hands, shouting to the audience to give a big applause to encourage Alex to be his stunt. Nikolai steps back as he offers his hand to Alex.
Alex swallows hard and before he could stand up to follow Nikolai to the stage, you immediately grab his arm, stopping him.
“Huh?”
You shake your head.
No. Something is not right. Something is wrong. Nikolai is not right.
“Oho! A challenger?” Nikolai turns to you, as his eyes look down at you sharply. “Are you worried about your boyfriend, my lady?”
“Yes.”
Alex makes weird noise but Nikolai's face is in clear surprise for a short second before he masks it again with his playful persona. “I see... I see, I see! Well, what can I do if his dear girl doesn't want him to get hurt? Whoops! Did I say 'get hurt'? No, no, no!” his quick clownery is enough to drive the audience from the awkwardness that has yet to grow.
“What unfortunate! Maybe this is not the luck for you, honoured sir! I respect this beautiful lady's choice. That's fine, totally! Because I will now introduce you to the victim of my act... Drum, please!”
Nikolai skips away, swiftly grabbing the audience's attention to the main stage again. He moves away from your section, and you let out a relieved breath.
“Hey,”
You turn to Alex.
“What was that?”
You force a smile. “Well, this circus is for dangerous acts and not family-friendly. This is your first time and his tricks will freak you out,” you say and Alex shoots you a suspicious look.
“What do you mean by his tricks will freak me out?”
You nudge your head to the stage, telling him to look.
On the stage, a stuntman is laying on a table, with his arms open and strapped. Then, Nikolai approaches him, now without his cloak, cane and hat. He smiles, with a hint of sadism. His act begins with a little script.
“Now, little lamb! I shall make you pay for your crimes! Because you have touched what's not belong to you! Such a crime, deserve me a bloody mime!”
And then he raises his bloody axe.
— ♡
“What?”
“What 'what'? I said, we wanna take a photo with Gogol. Let's go together!” one of the girls, Julia, in your group says as she clings to her friend.
“Oh, me too! I thought you guys want to leave after. Kinda shy to ask for a photo with him...” another one says.
You scrunch your face, feeling that it would not be a good time for you to face Nikolai, especially after you declare that Alex is your boyfriend. Your friends did bombard you with questions, but you just explained that you were trying to save his ass from embarrassment, also denying your relationship with him.
But Alex did nothing to deny the 'rumour' and instead, he's blushing his dick off.
“Alright! Anyone else?” the staff asks the small crowd that's waiting to take pictures and signs from the performers. Julia immediately raises her hand.
“Us! We wanna take pictures with Gogol!” she says excitedly. As soon as Nikolai hears his name, he turns to the group, and his eyes immediately catch you.
Nikolai grins as he gestures to the staff to let your friend group in. You half-heartedly follow but you stay distant while waiting for them. Nikolai, despite seeing you, pretends fool, only greeting and talking to your excited friends.
“You're not going to take a picture?” one of your friends asks and you shrug your shoulder.
“Eh... I have a lot of other opportunities.”
I can take pictures of him creeping into my bedroom too.
You only watch Nikolai conversing with your friends, except for Alex — it seems like he is probably still tense by how he was treated during the show. Couldn't blame him, to be honest. In fact, you are more relieved that Alex doesn't attempt to talk to Nikolai because the latter would take the chance to taunt him.
Nikolai is always a friendly and flirtatious guy — at least he seems so. And at least he looks like he is one flirty guy now. He constantly teases the girls in your friend group, cracking jokes that make them laugh, only for him to praise how cute they sound.
Ugh.
I'm not jealous.
“Oh, you'd like a sign too? Okay! Do you have a special pen for me or..?” Nikolai is now interacting with another girl from your friend group. She was asking for his signature on her shirt — it seems that she has been going around to other tropes to ask for their signatures too. It's probably for her personal memoir.
“Gold marker, sweetheart? Ooh, this looks pretty! And glittery!” Nikolai exclaims as your friend gives him a gold marker. Nikolai takes it while she tries to find a spot on her shirt for him to sign. Coincidentally, the only empty spot left is on the torso part of the shirt.
“It's okay, sweetheart. You can raise it a bit, right? Yeah, like that. Whoops, lower it please, yes, yes, right there. Oh, no, no. I don't see your skin, sweetheart. It's in my blind spot, I promise. Alright, keep holding it, I'll sign it now.”
You could only watch — with a growing bitterness clouding your heart. You scoff lowly to yourself — his voice is just gentle and soft to other people, but he will be an absolute asshole when it is just the two of you, hidden in the dark.
You would not call yourself rebellious. Well, maybe to an extent. But there's something about his 'hypocrisy' that makes you want to jeer at him. You feel the urge to tease, but you don't know if it is a good decision or not.
The first time you challenged him in this very circus was when you shouted in front of everyone else that he should come and fetch you.
“Come and fetch me!” you shouted. You. Shouted. In front of other people. And Nikolai was clearly shocked to hear you before he laughed.
And surprise, he actually did. He did come to you. He did fetch you.
Almost fucks you in a maze too.
“Alright, anybody else?”
You hear Nikolai's voice and you look at him. Your friends shake their heads, saying gratitude to Nikolai and praising him for his performance. You purse your lips as you scoot to your friend who has the gold marker to borrow it.
It's okay. It's just a tease. As if you never tease him before.
“Can I have your sign?”
Nikolai — instead of shock, he looks at you with glimmering eyes, full of excitement. He smiles, and the slyness behind it is just too obvious for everybody else to see.
Alright, is it too late to abort mission?
You know it's too late when Nikolai already takes the marker, smirking.
“Sure, my love.”
Your eyes widen slightly when you hear the nickname — he calls almost every other girl in your friend group 'Sweetheart', but for you, he pulls out that special name, one of the names which he would call when he's inside your room, on your bed, hovering and touching you.
“Where do you want me to sign, my love?” he asks. You stare at him for a few seconds before you pull the neckline of your blouse, revealing half of your cleavage to him.
“On here.”
His smirk falters. He is visibly surprised as his eyes trail to your skin. You could see his fingers clench the marker as he swallows. His eyes darken as he starts to chuckle. His irises glance at you, as his chuckle seems to lower its octave. He takes a sigh, looking at you with interest.
“My, my. You're such a tease. You... You're a playful one, I see.”
You only stare at him before you give him a grin, secretly enjoying this — yes, you will admit, teasing Nikolai is very fun.
“Hey... I don't think that's appropriate...” a friend of yours whispers to you as he flashes a guilty look to Nikolai. Before he could apologise on your behalf, Nikolai already steps closer, holding you by your hip.
“Alright, let's see here.” he grins, shamelessly staring at your skin. You start to feel timid again, especially realizing how bad is this. And Nikolai certainly notices your growing uncertainty, and for someone like him, it is clear that he enjoys it.
“You're fucking brave, aren't ya?” he whispers when he leans a little forward as the marker finally makes contact with your skin. You shudder a bit, mostly because of the unnecessary closeness from him and the slight chill of the gold ink dripping onto your skin.
“Your boyfriend won't get mad? He's watching.”
“He's not—” you hiss back, slowly, just for him to hear.
“Then, what...” Nikolai presses the marker hard on your breast, and you could feel the ink starting to clot on that spot of your skin. Then he taps the marker harder on it again.
“.... was—” another hard tap,
“—that—” and another,
“—earlier?”
“Stop it. You're staining my tits,” you grumble and Nikolai huffs as he moves the marker, signing his name on your skin. He then giggles to himself before he brings the marker to the middle of your chest, making a long golden line on your skin.
“Nikolai—”
“I can write 'public whore' on you right now, you know?”
You glare at him, bulging your eyes as if to warn him not to and Nikolai tilts his head, smiling at you adoringly — so adoring that you could hear your girl friends chuckling at his face.
“Hey, you okay?”
You hear Alex's concerned voice. You look at Nikolai and he looks at you with a sly grin.
“Ah, it seems that this little dove has told me a piece of information! Hear ye, hear ye! Did I just confirm my assumption that you groupie haven't been here in this haunted fair before?” Nikolai asks, smiling broadly as he retracts the marker from your skin. Then he shamelessly pulls your neckline up before he lets his hand brush across your tits and then rests it on your shoulder, holding you still.
“Yes, we actually got free tickets,” Julia replies with a smile. “Well, to be exact, I was approached by a young guy and he gave me some tickets. So I just shared it with my friends here,” she says. Nikolai hums and smiles.
“Well, I'm glad our marketing team is doing well! But since most of you are pretty much first-timers here, why don't you enjoy one of our playhouses for free?”
You jump a bit at the suggestion. Your eyes frantically search for Nikolai's face and he is just avoiding your gaze, only looking at your friend group.
This is bad. Real fucking bad.
The last time you are offered a free ticket to a playhouse, you ended up getting more tangled into this inescapable relationship with a deranged stalker. Surely you thought Nikolai won't pull this stunt again just to play chase with you — he is always creative and seeks new things to do especially towards his newfound toy.
This just means either two things. Either he is uncreative and is too stupid to think of a new gimmick for his kinky shit,
Or he actually doesn't want to chase you.
“It's ok—”
“Wouldn't that be fun? I mean, it's too early to leave the fair! We have a lot of playhouses and I would love to see newcomers' reaction to our fair!” Nikolai cuts you off, purposely talking in higher volume to drown your attempt to refuse his offer.
“Wait, really? More free tickets?” Julia asks excitedly.
“Yes, sweetheart!” Nikolai claps. “You guys can all try one of our playhouses! Well, let's see... One.. two... three... yes, yes, that's more than enough. That settles it! I know a perfect playhouse for your group!”
“... Really? More free tickets? I mean, we already come here without paying, so, are we really going to get the same opportunity? Wouldn't the higher-ups of this fair get mad about free tickets being given just like that?” Alex finally voices his concern, looking at Nikolai suspiciously. The latter grins.
“Honey, I lead this circus, the very heart of this fair.”
— ♡
“Well, you can go home if you don't want to come with us.”
You sigh as you drink your water, unsatisfied. Most of them decide to go to the playhouse that Nikolai suggested. You are visibly expressing your concern but you don't want them to think that you think of your friends as massive cowards. And you don't want your friends to assume badly about you either.
“It's okay, I'm staying now...” you reply. There are only four of you now since the others are going to the toilet, taking a piss before getting into the real scary stuff.
You slip your hand into your pocket and take out a crumpled ticket that Nikolai gave before you all leave the circus. It is a VIP ticket to a playhouse — 18xx Antique House.
Throughout your visit here, you never try this playhouse yet. You know what the playhouse is about — it is an escape room with riddles and puzzles, essentially, but with several twists in it. Though usually in other places, a lone person can play an escape room by themselves, this playhouse, however, needs at least five people in one team.
Up until tonight, you never really have more than a friend accompanying you to the fair. So, it would also be your first time to try this playhouse. Besides, an escape room is always fun with more company.
As you make small talk with your friends, you notice someone has been eyeing you. You turn to him, frowning at his stare — blonde hair, a smoking pipe, fancy tinted glasses. And he certainly notices you reacting to him.
“Can I help?” you ask, voice concerned. The man looks at you with an unbothered expression, yet he is somewhat amused.
“If your blouse is beige coloured, you would look like Caroline,” he says before he takes a drag from his smoking pipe. You tilt your head in confusion. Who the fuck is Caroline?
But he seems to know your question, so he answers just before you could ask.
“Caroline is a new wax doll in my collection.”
Alright...?
“Thank... you...?” you reply, deciding to take it as a compliment. The man looks at you up and down and nods as if he is confirming something to himself.
“Hm, what a perfect girl. Minus that gold stain on your chest,” he murmurs to himself, not bothering to lower his tone, which makes you hear what he says. You scoff as you fix the neckline, trying to cover the golden signature on your skin.
The man smiles slightly at you before he leaves without a word. You only sigh to yourself — why do you attract so many weird people? First, a deranged fucking stalker who is fucking murderous. Second, an awkward dude whose fashion sense is similar to a local neighbourhood plumber. And then suddenly you grabbed the attention of a weird man who collects wax dolls in front of a path to the toilet.
“Hey, everyone's here already?”
Ahh, here's the plumber fashionista — You look up at Alex who suddenly speaks up. The group is now complete and they're all excited to visit the playhouse. Well, except for you because you have a personal mission to achieve.
To get Nikolai out of the fucking way from committing a crime for you.
— ♡
Unlike many of the playhouses, 18xx Antique House is like a big three stories shop. The whole colour scheme is mostly brown or something related to it, just adding to the 'vintage' vibe to it. There's a tent in front of the building, which has several people crowding it.
You thought Nikolai would close and kick other customers out to give the room for your group, but it seems that, unlike the mirror maze which was 'under construction', this playhouse is functioning just fine for the visitors to come and try.
“Are these people looking for information or lining up to play?” one of your friends asks. They are confused too, well, it is their first time here.
Julia then shakes your arm. “Can you go and ask the staff there?” she asks, almost urging you. You mentally sigh before you take the tickets from her hand and slip past the crowd.
After a couple of minutes of talking to the staff, you learn that the crowd is actually pondering over their decision to get in and play. Because the group before them had one person crying like crazy and whimpering about how scary it was inside the antique house.
A person cried after trying something would be concerning, but the staff looked absolutely proud when he told you so.
“So, what's the call?” you ask after explaining what had occurred for the past ten minutes. Since the group before yours has not bought tickets yet, your group is free to get in first.
“Let's go in then!” your friend says happily. The others also agree, excited to play first. You then give out the tickets, one for each person and lead them to the tent, bypassing the crowd.
Just like before, you are required to keep things inside the locker before going in. Another staff assist your group to enter the antique house. He leads all of you to the main entrance of the house. In front of the door, he stands straight with an eerie smile.
“This playhouse is an escape room type of game. You will enter the house by this door on the first floor, but you will have to exit from the main door on the third floor. No door can lead you outside other than these two doors — but, this first door can only be opened from the outside. So, no matter what, your way out is the door on the third floor. Also, unlike many other escape rooms, you guys are free to walk from the first floor to the third floor. Because the riddle on the second floor might be on the first floor. Maybe the clue for the first puzzle is on the third floor. Stuff like that.” he explains with a grin.
You could hear your friends grimacing at how hard the game would be. The early puzzle might require them to travel to the highest floor and scour the place like crazy just to find a piece of a clue.
“Maybe that's why they require more than five people to play this game.” your friend mumbles and you just have to agree. But all you can think of — why this house, Nikolai?
“That’s all I can tell you. The rest and the mystery of this house shall be found out when you're in the house.” the staff says before he opens the door for you. The door is leading to a complete void, it seems that the light is off.
“Have fun.”
You step inside first, followed by your friends. As soon as all of you are inside, the door is creaking close and a loud tap is heard, indicating that the door is locked and you guys cannot leave anymore.
“Uhm... Is it supposed to be this dark?” Julia asks.
“No. Lights are always their gimmick. We need to find the source to get some lights.” you say as you look around, trying to fix your vision so you could get used to the darkness.
“Alright, so it's like, a basic horror game?” Alex asks and you could hear his voice is much closer to you. You step aside and immediately gasp when you accidentally bump into a furniture.
“Yeah, yeah, like that!” you say. “God, please don't scare me like that.”
“Oh, sorry, dear,” he replies.
Suddenly, white lights are shone towards you two with a cheer from your friend. “Flashlights! I found three of them!” he says. You and Alex walk towards them, gathering with the others.
“Alright, so, what's the plan here? No turning back now other than escaping, right?” a friend asks. In her hands, there is an old poster, brownish and the edges are quite burned.
“So we found this in that fireplace. It is said here... erm... well, it seems that this paper just said stuff about the grand opening of this antique house. Based on this, it sounds like this house used to be a selling and trading place for second-hand items in the 1800s. Very vintage.” she comments.
“Then there's also this... burnt newspaper. It looks like there was a gruesome murder happened in here where the murderer is still not found.” another one adds to the discussion as they show a piece of article, ripped off from a newspaper. “The authority closed this place because the owner is not doing anything even after backlashes from the people.”
“Is that all?” Alex asks and they nod. “This place is big anyway, we need to divide ourselves into a few teams and then tour every floor at the same time,” he says.
“I agree. Well, the staff give us walkie-talkies after confiscating our phones. We can still communicate especially about which room and place we have checked.”
“Then we three will go together!”
“Alright then, I guess, we are going together too. Alex, come join us!”
You raise your eyebrow, seeing them already forming small groups among themselves. You shift awkwardly — sometimes you forgot that you aren't exactly close enough with them to be included in everything.
Right, the reason why I'm here is because they know I frequently visit this place... Nothing more.
“I'll come with you.”
Your wrist is grabbed and your eyes glance at Alex, who is smiling at you with a flashlight in hand. “We three will tour the second floor.” you look at his side, seeing another friend coming along. She is grinning at the two of you, almost teasing.
“I'm here to keep both of you from fucking in some room on the second floor.”
“What the fuck are you saying? We don't have anything!” you quickly retort her assumption, but she giggles, enjoying your reaction. You sigh loudly. “Listen, I know I've explained this moments ago but I just said that so he won't get dragged to do some weird tricks from the ringmaster, alright?” you say.
“Hm~ okay!” she grins before she skips towards Alex who is already walking to the stairs to get to the second floor. You huff and follow them from behind.
Surprisingly, the riddles on the second floor are moderately easy to solve. While communicating with other teams on the other floors, they are kinda frustrated because their clues are all over the place. Though you could safely say the riddles are easy, the storyline of this game is quite unclear still.
“Storage room 3? Yeah, we checked it. There's this file with a weird number combination.”
“1738... 2819...”
“None? Alright, maybe the number is not for th—”
As Alex and your friend are talking to each other through the walkie-talkie, suddenly,
“Guys!”
Your own walkie-talkie is being connected, with an urgent voice of one of your friends from the first floor. You frown, feeling a bit weird at how he's calling everyone and not just you, since you both should know that your walkie-talkies are connected with each other.
“Hey, you okay?” you ask through the walkie-talkie. Alex looks at you, as well as your other friend. You wait for your reply but there's no answer other than buzzes.
“Dude.” Alex gulps. “That’s not the voice of excitement when he finds something valuable,” he says.
“Clearly not.” your other friend says. “Come on, let's just move and leave this room. We already look—”
A bloody scream suddenly pierces the air. It sounds distant and faint. It sounds like a girl, by how pitchy it is.
You three freeze on your spot, looking at each other.
“Is there a hunter in this playhouse...?”
“W-Well... this is a horror-themed fair.”
You grit your teeth. A hunter in an escape room is completely plausible, especially when this playhouse is marketed as something unique and not cliche. But so far, everything has been cliche — just roaming and finding clues.
“Guys... the first floor is dark again... Didn't they manage to turn on the main power for the first floor before?” your friend asks after she bravely peeks outside the door.
“Maybe they purposely turn it off so they could hide,” Alex says and you shake your head as you take their hands.
“Sooner or later, someone will come up and hunt us too. I don't know what happen if we get caught, but well, it seems not good. Let's get out of this room because we are close to the staircase to the first floor.” you say. They both agree and after taking the clues you guys scattered on the table in the room, all three of you leave and walk at a fast pace to another room you haven't explored yet. You leave to the corridor, seeing doors leading to rooms.
Knock! Knock! Knock!
“Shit!” as you three are walking, your friend stumbles on her feet when the closed door to your right is suddenly knocked, although none of you is close enough to touch the door.
“Is there someone inside?”
“No, that's... a gimmick, for sure...” you mutter. “Seems like real shit is happening.” you're about to walk again but then Alex immediately pulls you and holds you close from behind, stopping your steps.
You look at him confused but your friend is also clinging to you. Then, you look forward, only to see a dark shadow on the wall at the end of the hallway.
“What the fuck is that?”
“I don't know, that seems bad, isn't it?”
The light at the end of the hallway flickers and the shadow disappears. Then, you could hear the shaky breath from your friends and the tension in Alex's hold on you seems to decrease.
“It's okay. Just remember they're just fun props,” you say, trying to console your friend who is a bit shaking. It is clear that she isn't used to this kind of play.
Suddenly there is a buzz from one of the walkie-talkies — Alex's. Alex holds up his device and an almost robotic voice comes to speak to him.
“Did you guys hear that?”
“Hear what?”
“Oh... Oh, you didn't hear that...?”
“What? What did you hear?”
“We hear someone getting choked. And then— What the... Who the fuck is that?”
Alex looks at both of you when the friend behind the walkie-talkie suddenly halts his words.
“Bro, I think you should run.”
He is whispering.
“There's someone in a mask — he's peeking down the stairs. I don't know what he's doing.”
You are on alert and you immediately grab your friends' arms, pulling them to walk away in haste from your spot.
“He has a... fucking bloody ass knife— what the fuck.”
“He's looking at me, shit shit shit”
“Fuck, he's chasing—”
— ♡
You pull your friends into a room — the room is full of old Victorian clothes and faceless mannequins. As soon as you three step into the room, all the mannequins' heads immediately turned towards you, as if they are on cue to look at their visitors.
“Aah—”
You and your friend gasp, almost scream when the mannequins are moving. But you quickly hold her, so she won't scream and draw attention from the one who's chasing. She looks at you and you shake your head, pursing your lips.
“C-Can we move?” Alex asks, feeling the piercing glare of those mannequins, despite them being completely faceless. He tries to walk further into the room, but the mannequins' heads are turning slowly according to his position.
“It's okay, it's okay. Remember what I said, this is all just props. They can't hurt us.” you say, pulling your friend closer to you before you also walk further inside, being watched and trailed closely by the mannequins.
“Okay, let's get back to our clues and stuff,” Alex says before he starts looking through the drawers. You — with a clingy girl by your side — are looking through the dresses on the rack.
“What the hell are we looking for?” she asks. You shrug your shoulders.
“I'm not entirely sure... But we need to be quick before the main power for the second floor—”
Your words are cut short when the lights suddenly flicker. Both Alex and your friends look at you in disbelief, as if you are the one causing it. You pout, but it only makes Alex smile at you.
“Yeah, so like I said, we need to be quick because once the power is off, we'll have to travel to the end of the floor and try to work the power again—”
Tap!
The room is now completely dark. Your friend immediately latches on you and Alex, pulling the three of you into a group hug. “Don't go far! I'm fucking scared,” she says.
“I know, but don't pull us so close together...” you murmur but you could feel Alex's grip on you is getting tighter too.
“What do you suggest we do? Aah! What's that noise? Did you hear that? Something is creaking...” she says as she scoots closer.
“Calm down, don't think much about it,” you say as you hold her. “Our flashlight is still functioning right?” you ask. “You never know what kind of device they gave us.”
“Yeah, I have it right here,” Alex says before he takes out the flashlight from his pocket and turns it on. He bravely shines the flashlight around the room before he abruptly turns it off and looks at both you and your friends.
“What's wrong?” you ask, swallowing nervously.
“The door is open.”
Alex lets out a shaky breath. “And I saw... uhm... a floating white face.”
You instinctively turn your head to the door, and just like Alex said, behind the gap between the door and the frame, there is a white mask. Such a familiar mask — a full-face mask, the eyes were completely black and crooked downwards — akin to a happy drama mask. The smile on the mask was wide, with sharp teeth and bloody-looking lips on display. A long line resembling a scar slid through the left eye.
“Shit.”
“Shit. Alex, run.”
Alex looks at you, confused, but before he could say anything, the door is pushed open wide, revealing a masked man, holding a bloody knife. He seems to have white hair, he is also wearing a black dress shirt with only a few buttons in the middle buttoned.
Shit, he's here again.
The air is tense. And your friend gasps. Alex steps back in fear when he finally gets a good look at the man. His lips tremble, his eyes are wide, and terror is clear in his face.
“Wait... I know you...”
And suddenly, the friend screams in surprise, when the man starts to stride into the room, already having his eyes on his target. He stomps inside with his knife up in the air, causing Alex and your friend to scatter from the group with panicked noises from their mouths. Alex slips out of the room while your friend tries to follow him. He looks at the door, trying to chase the one who has left.
“Fucking Alex, don't run with the fucking torch, bastard!” your friend is in panic, shoving a chair in his direction, only to pause him for barely a second. She throws a bunch of dresses at him and he stops, disturbed by the items being thrown at him. She gives him a hard push and then runs out, leaving you alone.
“My dove.”
You flinch at the gentle voice from beneath the mask. You look at him, knowing exactly that your beloved is staring at you.
“I'll come back for you later.”
Your face contorted in shock and confusion.
“What the hell do you mean by that, Nikolai?”
Without saying anything, Nikolai leaves the room in haste — he is chasing another person. He is not chasing you. He doesn't want to chase you for now.
Then, once again, a terrified scream pierces the air.
— ♡
As soon as you hear the scream, you immediately run out of the room, trying to find Nikolai — you need to get to him and stop him from actually hurting your friends. The way he swung his knife earlier is not a mere show-off either, although he's probably just holding back.
“Wait... I know him...”
Alex's words are ringing in your head — what the hell was that supposed to mean? Does Alex know him? Did he figure out just like that based on Nikolai's hair? Probably.
But truth be told, you aren't worried that Alex knows Nikolai and discovers he is the ringmaster who tried to warp him into a messy bloody trick in front of thousands of spectators. You are more worried that Alex might report Nikolai to the authorities.
Not because he will kill them.
Because I might not see him again.
You stop and shut your eyes. This is no time to feel sentimental over your stalker. Your friends — well, not really, just Alex actually — are in danger. You know Nikolai would just have his fun of chasing people and scaring them, it's literally his job, but he has no reason of taking the place of his scare actor just to fright visitors.
“Alright... Alright, me, here's a plan.” you talk to yourself now.
“Find Nikolai, pull him away, warn him and then negotiate with him. Alright..! Easy task, really.” you huff to yourself as you keep walking in the hallway, peeking inside the rooms which had their doors left open.
This time, you're chasing him.
— ♡
You could barely see far into the distance because of the dark. Some random noises from the rooms managed to spook you, but they only make you flinch before you continue your search.
“Holy shit, man! Run, run!”
You hear a rough voice from downstairs while you're approaching the staircase. You immediately run to the first floor, following the faint screams of your friends. At one corner, you could see white light moving up and down frantically as if the holder is in panic.
You follow the sight of it, and when you make a sharp turn, you could see Nikolai pushing a door open, scanning the room. He seems to not find who he wants, so he leaves.
“Bastard...” you hiss through your teeth as you chase over him. But while you're in the pathway to him, the door to your left immediately swing open from the inside and three people barge out in panic.
“Holy fuck!”
You shriek in surprise when they directly bump into you. They are also surprised to see you down on the first floor.
“What are you doing here?” Julia, who is one of the team members asks you.
“The hunter was around here, don't you see?” another one says.
“I know, damn it..!” you get on your feet and look at the end of the hallway, seeing Nikolai disappear into a room. You quickly run towards his direction. You could hear the others' confusion but for now, you will ignore them. What you're focused on now is to get to him.
You enter the room you swore you saw him entering. But the place is deserted, empty of people except for a few headless mannequins inside. You start to look around, opening the closet and looking under the bed.
“Nikolai,” you call for him, trying not to shout as the walls are thin enough for the people upstairs to hear.
But he is still not in the room. You grunt in frustration — did you see wrong? You are sure he gets to this room. And you did not see anyone leaving this room either.
“Nikolai, come out and fuck me already.” you try another tactic — embarrassing, but you have to try whatever now.
Still, there's no answer, not even a foreign movement. You sigh and roam the room once again before you decide to leave. As you roam around, you see a small frame covered in curtains. You push the curtain aside, seeing a flight of staircase leading to the upper floor.
So he escapes here. How does he fit in this tiny staircase? That man is a fucking giant.
But now you know he's back on the second floor, which only makes matters worse — you're tired. The main staircase is far from here anyway, so you climb up the stairs, getting to the second floor back. This time, you end up in a room full of music box collections.
As soon as you step into the room properly, a soft melody of Swan Lake chimes into the air. You swallow hard, a bit surprised at the sudden melody since you did not touch any music box yet.
You look around the room. The posters of 18th-century musicians are plastered on the wall. But their eyes are menacing. You thought the posters are just normal papers, but you notice how the eyes of those musicians follow you closely through every movement you make — for instance, they move to the right if you step right.
It's creepy. It gives you the feeling of being watched.
You look at the posters one last time, wondering what kind of mechanism the staff used to make those tricks work perfectly, alas, you leave the room, now returning to what you want to do.
You walk at a faster pace as your eyes are busy searching for Nikolai. Sometimes you could see a dark figure passes by, but when you chased him to the end, you would still find no one.
“Why the fuck is he so good at evading me?” you mumble when you check another room. At this point, you are willing to hold Alex hostage just to bait your stalker to come to you.
When your effort once again dimmed, you step out. However, from the corner of your eyes, you could see that familiar frantic white light — it's a sign that someone is running, and the only person who holds a flashlight in your group is Alex.
And just as you expected, Alex is running towards your direction and he looks extremely terrified. As soon as he sees you, he lets out a choked laugh and immediately he rushes towards you.
“Alex—”
He hugs you tightly, thanking God and the Heavens above that you are safe. You frown, feeling weird by his trembling body. You hug back, just to console him and you could feel the dampness on his back — he is fucking sweaty.
“Hey, what's wrong..?” you ask, unease by this whole demeanour. Alex parts his hug and he swipes his hair back, letting out a frustrated groan. And then, you see a slight tear on his sleeve — did he brawl or something...?
“What happened..?”
“Listen. Listen, okay. I was getting fucking chased like crazy. This fucking hunter really wants to kill me..! I know it sounds weird but he is out for blood! Fucking out for my blood! He's not just a mere scare actor, dude. He's fucking crazy! I've been running around to the first and third floor to tell others but they all don't believe me when I say he's not just scaring us — until he suddenly appears out of fucking— I don't know! Some fucking vent or someshit and then he starts chasing me! Me, especially! This man wants to fucking kill me—”
You hold his shoulders, shaking him a bit to stop him from his ramble. Your face is ashen. You look at him with quivering lips, hypotheses and theories flooding your head.
“Calm down. What do you mean by he wants to kill you?”
I know exactly why, but... what do you know?
Alex looks at you. He purses his lips and holds his head in frustration.
“The day... The day I gave you flowers, do you remember?”
You nod.
“That night, a man with that same mask appeared at my house.”
— ♡
Your arms fall to your side in disbelief. Your eyes are wide. Your throat is dry oh so suddenly. Your breathing is getting heavier.
“What?”
“Please. Please believe me. I know that's the same man. He has the same hairstyle and the same mask and the same clothes. But less sexy. Anyway, he appears at my window and he's staring at me for long. It's ridiculous! Yes, I know it sounds ridiculous because, why am I getting stalked? I did nothing bad. But it's weird. I called the police but when they arrived, the man is nowhere to be found. Then... Then, I found one of my kitchen knives all bloody... I don't fucking cook animals that day. I know it should be clean but it's bloody and I think... I think...”
Alex suddenly goes terrified again. His eyes are shaking as he freezes in his spot. You look at him confused, but your confusion is not for long when you know exactly why he would react in such ways.
“Hello, there.”
You turn your head to your side, finally seeing Nikolai — who is still masked — standing ten feet away from you too. He seems to just walk out of a nearby room, and coincidentally, much to his luck, he finds you two.
“Run, Alex.”
“But...”
You push Alex to run away when Nikolai is stepping closer, slowly, as if to taunt and take his time enjoying the panic you two share with each other.
“Alex, fucking run!”
“Y-You b-believe me...?”
You nod firmly.
Of course I believe you. I have gone through the same thing.
“Run, run, run! I will throw my knife!” Nikolai mocks, twirling his knife happily as he strides towards you.
You immediately shift your body to cover Alex as you push him to leave. “Go, go! Fucking go and give all the riddles to others so we can get the fuck out. Just go, alright?” you say and Alex has no choice but to quickly run away, although he looks guilty to leave you alone.
“Damn. He really challenges me—”
Nikolai's own monologue is cut off when you lunge yourself onto him, wrapping both your arms around his torso. His face turns quickly towards you and although you could not see his face, you know he's quite speechless.
“My dove, let me go,” he orders, voice deep and demanding. You glare back at him, using all your strength to drag him to a room that is behind you. Nikolai groans as he hardens his footing, making it harder for you to drag him.
“I said, let me go, dove.”
“You will hurt me if you're being this stubborn, Nikolai,” you say and Nikolai seems to be less tense when he hears that. Of course he doesn't want to hurt you — you know he won't. Taking the chance, you drag him to the room and when both of you are inside, you close the door and lock it.
The room is like a dollhouse — every corner and wall is filled with old-looking dolls in many variations — rag dolls, cotton dolls, teddies, plastic dolls. They're everywhere and they look creepy, especially when most of them are quite dirty or torn or cracked. It feels haunted, even if you know it's not.
Nikolai turns to you. He calls your name but you look at him with clear anger in your face. You sigh and palm your face for a moment, to take a breather from all of this.
He calls you again.
“What the fuck are you thinking?” you ask, gripping his shirt before your feet step forward, making him stumble backwards and fall onto a single couch in the room.
“Ow!” Nikolai groans — on the couch, there's actually a plastic doll and he accidentally sits on it when you practically push him there. He shifts, trying to move away but you quickly pin him by his shoulder into the couch and sit on his lap.
“What the fuck are you thinking, huh?” you ask as you take off his mask, letting that piece of plastic falls to the floor. His face is now bare to you, beautiful double-coloured eyes staring straight at you. His forehead is a bit sweaty and your caring heart could not hold itself back, you wipe the sweat off, taking your time caressing his face — despite you should be angry with him now.
“I'm thinking of teaching a lesson, dove,” he replies, giving you a smirk.
“A lesson is not chasing people and intending to kill him in your own fair, Nikolai..!” you grunt but Nikolai is just looking at you with his smug face as if he is proud of it. His arms slither around your waist, pulling you closer.
“You stalked him! You went to his house and he recognized you! What if the police are involved again but this time, they know exactly who you are? The last time I called the police, you were safe because they don't know who the fuck are you! But if Alex knows the chaser who is out for his blood is the same ringmaster who's trying to mutilate him in front of thousands of people, what will happen? You'll get a warrant and—”
“Shush, my love.” Nikolai puts his index finger on your lips. “I know the consequences, alright? I'm not a fool. I know what I'm doing. Now, could you please kindly get off me?” he asks as he shamelessly caresses your thighs.
“No. Fuck no, bastard. You and I will...”
You get even closer and bounce your ass directly on his crotch, making him visibly surprised at your bold move.
“... stay here.”
Nikolai swallows hard as he smiles at you. Though you did kind of expect it, you still feel embarrassed when you could feel him getting hard beneath you — of course he will. The moment you hug him to drag him into this room, he's already losing his mind.
“Stay here? Well, you might catch yourself a big big trouble, naughty girl,” he replies. His finger traces the neckline of your blouse as he tugs it down, slowly revealing your marked cleavage.
“It's fine. I already think of my excuses to give. Some of them already see me chasing over the hunter.” you reply, only letting him touch you however he wants — he will demand it anyway.
And I will keep giving.
Nikolai blinks and chuckles. He shakes his head as he holds you tighter. He thrusts up, fixing his seating to feel a bit more comfortable. But that gesture only makes you feel sensitive as his freaking boner is brushing against you.
“The doll behind me is aching me... but no. No, love, I did not mean you'll get in trouble with them,” he says before he grins, full of tricks. “I mean, if you stay here, you'll get in trouble with me.”
He leans forward as he brings your head closer too. His lips give your neck a soft peck before he whispers right by your ear.
“You can feel it, right?”
He tightens his arm around your waist, purposely thrusting up again and whimpering softly right by your ear. You yelp, gripping his shoulders harder.
“Do you know that cameras are everywhere in this playhouse? What would my staffs say if they see you sitting on me like this, making yourself look tough as if you're not clenching your panties?” he mocks. His hand brushes your breast before it drops to his lap.
“The moment you enter this playhouse, you're already ordering shits to your workers, were you not? You don't want them to see how their big boss is hunting an innocent player with the intention to kill.”
“Pfft! I never say I want to kill him! I just want to teach a lesson.” he says before he rests his face on your breasts, inhaling your scent. “Besides, he deserves it anyway.”
“Just because he kissed me?”
“Just because he kissed you.”
Nikolai glances at you before he huffs. He kisses the mount of your tits before he retreats. “Listen, love. I'll fuck you later but not now, 'right? I am still pissed off if I were to be honest.” he says before he gently pushes you off his lap. You try to tense yourself, being stubborn — but with a yank on the back of your blouse, you're pushed away, forcefully having to stand at the side.
Nikolai gets up from the couch, groaning at the way his back was being pressed against the plastic doll. Displeased, he slaps the doll once. “Fucking hurts, damn it,” he grunts.
When Nikolai stands up, you immediately hug him again. “Don't fucking leave.” you snarl, glaring at him. You need more time so your friends can gather and leave this playhouse — especially Alex.
“Let fucking go of me,” Nikolai grumbles as he tries to push you, albeit not rough since he doesn't want to accidentally hurt you. You look at him and you grip his hair, pulling him close to your face.
Your lips slam against his, kissing him passionately. Nikolai is quick to melt at the touch of your lips. He moans softly, smiling against the kiss. Your body leans deeper into him, with your feet stepping forward. Hands on his chest now, you lead him to move according to your pace.
Bam!
“Agh...” Nikolai groans again in pain, cursing under his breath when he's pushed against a shelf of dolls. The dolls are not the ones hurting him, the wooden shelf is.
He looks at you with a somewhat nervous grin. You cling your arms around his neck, once again pulling him into a deep kiss. His hands instinctively reach to your back, one on your spine, one on your ass, fondling what he can feel.
You moan into his mouth, tongues still exploring each other. Your hips grind forward, brushing his boner that's beneath his jeans. Your hands caress his hair and face before they trail to his toned chest — you could feel his skin, as he doesn't bother buttoning some of the top buttons. One of your hands slips into his shirt as the other unbuttons the rest.
“Fuck...” he moans between the kiss, especially when he could feel your hands roaming his body, slowly down to his waist to undo his jeans.
Nikolai breaks the kiss, wanting to take off his jeans already but you catch him back. You seize his jaw, shoving his head back to the shelf. He only hisses lowly, as there's a cotton doll cushioning the impact.
“Keep kissing me.”
He looks at you and smiles. He kisses you once, “As you wish, my love.” he says before he kisses you again, letting you undo his jeans and slip your hand inside to feel his clothed cock.
“O-Oh, fuck...” he has to break the kiss as he feels your hand palming him. He throws his head back and with just your height, you could only kiss his collarbone, sucking his skin to create dark marks. Nikolai moans again, his hands roaming your body as he is enjoying the touch on his cock.
Your kisses on his body move from his neck to his chest and down to his stomach, kissing the faint happy trail leading to his cock. You kneel in front of him, your hand wrapping itself around his hard girth as you pull the rest of his jeans away.
“Stay here and fuck me,” you say as your hand strokes him, eyes glimmering in submission to appeal to him. Nikolai bites his lips, smiling to himself as he pats your head. He moves his hips a bit to nudge his cock on your lips. Obediently, you stick your tongue out as he slides his cock into your wet cavern.
“Yes, my love,” he replies in a breathy voice, but his smile is not as lewd — he is smiling victoriously as if he has won a secret battle by himself.
With his cock sliding in and out of your mouth, sometimes nudging the back of your throat, making you teary and triggering your gag reflex — you think for a second,
Did he expect this all?
“Dim your thoughts, pretty girl. Suck me nicely,” he orders, gently moving your head back and forth. Sometimes he holds your head for more seconds when you're taking him deep — but he's fucking thick, it makes you gag.
“Mmh...!” you grip his thighs, tapping them when he thrusts his cock into your throat, trying to reach deeper and deeper. He is clearly enjoying the moan you make, as he shamelessly groans when he could feel your mouth tightens around his girth.
“Fuck, baby... Fuck, you're so fucking good..” he sighs, voice slightly pitchy when his cock twitches in your throat, begging to cum — but he holds it in. He thrusts again, wanting to feel more of you.
He stops dragging your head, instead, you start to bob your head, as fast as you could. You also fist his cock, using your hand to reach what you can't. Nikolai only moans, staring at the sight of you — eyes teary and lips curled nicely.
Grinning, he then reaches to your face, stroking your with his knuckles before suddenly, pinching your nose together, cutting the only source of breathing for you.
“Mmh..! Hrk...!” your noise is just music to him. His other hand pushes your head closer to take more of his cock into your throat. Little by little, you feel burned — your body shakes when your throat is fighting against the reflex and your chest feels tight with the nonexistent airflow.
Your body is tense, your eyes are crossed and that's when Nikolai finally lets you go, and you immediately retract yourself from his cock, coughing and whimpering between his legs.
“Ahaha! My, your silly face is just so adorable, my dove.” he laughs, tapping your face a few times before he grabs your arm, pulling you to stand up. You whine as he looks at you with a menacing smile. He pushes you gently to the dressing table just across the shelf of dolls.
“Hold tight, baby,” he says and you hold the edge of the table tightly as he kneels in front of you now, pulling your skirt down, along with your panties. He is beaming at the sight of your glistening pussy, already wet from his touches earlier on. He kisses your inner thighs, nibbling on your soft flesh before he slowly trails his lips to your pussy.
A choked moan leaves your throat when you feel his warm tongue licking your clit. Your legs quiver but he grips them tightly as he buries his mouth deeper into your cunt, kissing and sucking and nibbling and lapping your wet folds.
“Kolya..! O-Oh, f-fuck... Ah!” you wince when he suddenly grips your ass, burying his nails deep into your skin. His hand engulfs your ass perfectly. With hooded eyes, you look down at him.
“Stay quiet. Walls are thin,” he says, almost like a demand by his voice. You nod and he smiles at you, kissing your clit in gratitude. “Good girl.”
He returns to lap his tongue on your cunt, probing it as his hands fondle your ass cheeks. He's pulling you down as if he wants to suffocate himself between your thighs. His tongue circles your entrance before it slides up to your sensitive clit, nibbling it.
You suck a sharp breath as you grip his hair, trying your best to keep yourself from moaning out loud. He keeps nibbling your clit, licking it and sometimes purposely biting it so you would feel a sharp pain — but still, you could do nothing other than pull his hair.
“D-Don't b-bite— Aah...!” you cover your mouth quickly, seeing his teasing eyes staring at you while he's nibbling your clit. Your eyes are still teary, and you look so pathetic — just the way he loves it. As his tongue swipes the between your folds again, you nudge his head away, parting his mouth away from your wet cunt.
Your breathing is heavy as your body trembles. Nikolai gets up, standing between your legs and places his hands at each of your sides, caging you. He leans forward, kissing your neck as you are trying to calm down. Your legs close around him as your breathing is slowly getting calmer.
His cock is directly on your pussy, grinding between your folds, nudging your clit. You are moaning softly, holding his shoulders tightly as your hips instinctively thrust up to take him in.
“Calm down, dove.” he chuckles before he pulls you close, kissing your lips shortly. Then, Nikolai turns you around, roughly handling you as if you're just like one of the rag dolls in this room. He bends you over a bit, making sure you could see your face through the reflection from the mirror in front of you.
He leans forward, putting his weight on your back. “Feels nostalgic, hm?” he kisses your nape, and you could only see his reflection. He is rowing his hips, positioning his cock right between your folds. Your lips part, and little whines leave your throat.
You could feel his precum leaking from his tip, wetting your folds more, along with your arousal. Your thighs tremble as you move your hips back, desperate for him — your tiny hole is basically clenching nothing, needy for his cock.
“Please...” you plead, turning your head to him. “I wan' it,” you mumble shyly as you grind your ass against his hard cock. Nikolai's eyes are amused, watching you grinding like that on him.
“You really love me, don't you?” he chuckles to himself before he slowly thrusts in, his cock penetrating your pussy inch by inch, making you moan brokenly — choked by the feeling of being filled full. His cock is girthy enough to touch every spot on your inner walls, clenching him tightly. Nikolai moans in response as he starts thrusting, gripping your hips harder.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck— Gosh, you feel so fucking good, love,” he sighs, and you could only moan in reply. His thrusts are fast and deep, touching the spots where you could not reach with your own fingers and his bulbous knife handle.
One of his large hands presses your tummy, feeling the slight bulge forming whenever he thrusts as deep as he can — you are seeing stars as your cunt contracts around his dick tightly.
“N-Nikolai...” you moan out his name, eyes teary as his hand falls from your tummy to your clit, rubbing the bud. “Fuck!” you yelp loudly as your body jerks at the sudden stimulation. But your mouth is immediately covered by him with his unattended hand.
“Fucking shut up,” he growls right by your ear — for once, his accent is clear as if he's losing himself before this. He bites your shoulder as his hand that's on your mouth brings your face to look straight at the mirror.
“Watch, little dove,” he says with a small cackle. His thrusts are decreasing in pace but he hits so damn hard. Slapping noises between skins and your pants behind his hand fill the room.
Your eyes are fixated on the mirror, seeing his reflection — Nikolai is still smirking as he's thrusting and your eyes are brimming with tears, overwhelmed with everything. Then, you notice something weird.
Behind Nikolai is the shelf of dolls. All of those dolls are looking straight at you, with their mouths crooked downwards creepily.
The dolls are smiling at you.
Your eyes widen, chills creeping up your spine. You almost forget that this room is in a haunted playhouse.
“Mmh...” your muffled moan grabs Nikolai's attention. He knows what's happening, but he remains fool as he only keeps fucking you while peppering kisses on your shoulders and neck.
“I know, baby... But you're tightening around me so hard. Does fear excite you?”
You shake your head as your eyes are frantic on the reflections. Some dolls are no longer smiling, rather they're looking upset at you. Magically they're frowning — and you wish you could turn around to see what the fuck is on the shelf.
In your hazy mind, you want to form a thought — but how could you? How could you do so when he's touching your sensitive clit so nicely, fucking you so deeply and kissing you ever so gently?
Maybe... Aah— Gosh— M-Maybe t-this mirror— Fuck, ooh, God...! T-This is just a... A-ah~ screen...
Nikolai suddenly holds your hips tight and thrusts in, staying deeply into you. You shriek, feeling him reaching much deeper — your eyes are fluttering, threatening to close because of the twitching that you could feel in your cunt. And seconds later, you could feel something spurt in you — he's cumming.
“N-Niko—” Crash! “Fucking God!”
In a quick second, a creepy image of a woman with red-shot eyes and a wide ripped mouth appears in the suddenly cracked mirror, letting out a loud bloody scream.
You jump so hard, accidentally making Nikolai's cock slip out of your cunt. You whimper and your legs are too weak to stand still. Nikolai immediately wraps his arms around you, holding you so you won't fall to the floor. The bloody scream is going for another three seconds as goosebumps, chills, and fear, all creep into you at once.
You are panting and your heart is beating so fast as your pussy clenches hard — that's when you feel warm liquid drips out of your hole, making you whine softly.
“F-Fuck you... Why the fuck...” you whimper weakly, seeing the mirror has returned to its original state — not cracked, no creepy woman and it's definitely a screen.
Nikolai laughs before he pushes you onto the carpet that has many dolls around it — it seems that this spot is a playing area. You whine when you're laying on the floor, legs spread and sweaty all over. You look up to him who is stroking himself as he watches you with a smug face.
“You know, I only have my shirt draped on me now. But you still have this damn blouse on.” he reaches for the knife that he used to chase people around. Then he hovers over you, caging you between his legs. He takes your waist, raising it before he abruptly thrusts his cock into your sloppy cunt again.
“Aah!” you whine, body arches at the sudden insertion. Arousal courses in again as he starts thrusting. Your body shudders as you hold his arms, pussy clenching against his girth. It is slippery and sloppy, as his cum has lubed your insides nicely before.
Nikolai groans in pleasure as he slaps your face to the side — not hard but enough to make you whine. He presses his hand on your head, forcing you to look sideways. Trying your best to keep your eyes open, you finally see that there's a doll head staring straight at you — a baby doll, a creepy baby.
You gasp, feeling extremely creeped but then you realized many of the dolls on the carpet are decapitated baby doll heads. They're blinking occasionally, sometimes you could hear baby noises from them.
You whine, trying to close your eyes. You feel like you are being watched.
“Look at them babies, my dear.” Nikolai mocks. His thrusts pause but his cock is still buried deep. His thumb nudges your eyelid, forcing it open so you will always see the baby dolls. You whimper, breath hitching.
“Such cute dolls, aren't they? Based on the lore of this playhouse, these dolls all have pieces of human remains on them. My my, I would really love to have a doll of you in my house someday too.” he says, laughing at your struggle to not maintain eye contact with tens of baby doll heads.
“I heard we can make real humans as dolls by coating them with wax. Maybe I should try it with you first.” he chuckles as his knife trails on your body — the sharp blade rips the blouse, making cuts and tears. You whine, feeling your skin is exposed more to him. He continues to cut your blouse, making a big rip on the torso area, just to give him room to dance the point of his knife on your skin.
“Then I can carve my name on your waxed skin. Then you will be mine forever,” he mumbles as his knife grazes the fold of your pussy. Your breath hitches and you freeze when you feel the back of the knife parting your folds, revealing your clit.
“Hrk—!” you even stop your breathing when you feel the sharp tip of the knife grazes very lightly on your clit. One wrong move — you're fucking cut and bleeding. Your thighs are tense.
“Haha! You're fucking scared and you're squeezing so hard! You love the fright, oh my!” Nikolai cackles as he gives a hard thrust once and as your body jolts but you immediately freeze when you feel the threat of the sharpness from the knife against your pussy, especially your clit.
Nikolai repeats it, keeping the knife close enough to scare, but not enough to actually cut. And each time, you are squeezing his cock harder and harder, and each time, pleasure courses straight to your brain.
You're basically humping him, with him controlling your tempo with his knife against your clit. You're unable to see what's down there as you're staring at the creepy baby dolls while getting fucked.
“K-Kolya...” you whimper when he's thrusting you slowly with his knife sliding on your labia. He hums back in response as he smiles at your proudly, feeling you're squeezing him even tighter.
“K-Kolya, I'm— Please, I'm...”
“You wanna cum?” he asks softly and you nod frantically. He snickers before he pulls away his knife. He then leans forward, finally releasing your face from looking sideways. You look straight at him, panting and moaning his name.
“F-Fuck me... Hard...”
“As you wish, my love.”
Nikolai wastes no time, immediately thrusting into you, hard and fast. He brings his knife to your neck, close enough to draw blood if you ever slightly twist your head wrongly. And you could feel that, you could see that, amidst the hazy lust clouding your mind and vision.
“Haa! Ahh~!” you are moaning, not even caring if anyone hears. You want your release, and it's so close — so close that you hold his wrist to bring the knife closer to you, edging yourself between getting hurt and orgasming.
Nikolai groans, cursing more under his breath as he kisses you deeply. His hips row deeply into you, igniting your inside to feel the heaven above. Your body arches as you hug him close to seal the kiss.
Squeezing hard, your thighs are tense, your grip on his is tight — you cum so hard, and Nikolai whimpers against the kiss as he thrusts slowly. His pelvis is wet with your mess, mixed with his. You are breathing heavily, trying to calm down but every movement he makes on you just makes you jolt in pleasure, a bit of discomfort. You are so sensitive at this moment.
“S-Stop... Fuck...” you breathe, placing your hand on his stomach, feeling his subtle muscles. Nikolai slows down his pace before he gradually comes to a stop. He lets you calm down as he stares at you, still hovering over you like a predator watching its prey writhing for mercy.
“S-Stop, please— C-can't fuckin'.... O-Oh, fuck— please don't m-move...!” you keep babbling him to stop but your hips are the one that is jerking to take his cock. Nikolai only watches silently, letting you shamefully thrust up against his dick as your lips ramble about how he should stop fucking you.
Nikolai leans deeper, making you whine as you fuck yourself on his cock, with him staying completely still. “S-Stop... Please..! T-Too much..!” you whine, shaking your head left and right but not for long when he kisses you, subduing your moans and sobs. You two stay in that position for a few minutes, as he links your fingers with his own, kissing to console you.
“You're so stupid, dove.” he chuckles before he finally raises himself a bit, pulling his cock out. His dick is coated in a sticky white substance. He taps his dick a couple of times on your cunt before he grabs his pants, taking out some tissues.
You watch him through your teary half-lidded eyes, still breathing hard from your high. You are sniffling, sobbing a little. You wipe your tears with your palm before you clench your fists, realizing that he does expect this.
“Bastard...” you murmur, sniffling as he wipes your pussy, cleaning you enough before he slips your panties back. You want to protest but being taken care of like this feels very nice. “You planned this...” you accuse him as you watch him wearing his pants back and buttoning his shirt.
“No. I don't. I just expect that you'll go to such lengths to keep me at bay. And well... You're coming to the fair anyway, how could I not want to fuck you in my own workplace?” he grins as he finishes dressing up. He takes your skirt and gives it to you.
“I hate you so much,” you mumble, biting your lips as you feel... used.
“Just so you know, I made you cum the hardest.”
“Shut up! I hate you!”
He smiles, affectionately. “Love you too, baby.”
You are huffing, trying to wear your skirt but you feel sore at the apex of your thighs. You whimper lowly to yourself as you glare at Nikolai who is just watching with amusement.
“Stop looking at me like that, creep,” you grunt. Nikolai chuckles.
“Alright.” he beams. “My love, I know you want to leave, but please wait here for a second,” he says. You look at him and immediately grab his leg. You shake your head.
Nikolai smiles again, but this time it's just sweet and caring — and it makes you so fucking suspicious. “I promise you, I won't chase him. For now.”
You find it hard to believe him.
“Love, please, trust me for this. I won't chase him. I simply want to take one thing from the staff room.” he says as he crouches, gently removing your hand from his leg. “Wait here.”
And then he leaves the room.
— ♡
You are alone in this room, full of creepy dolls. You are scared, to be honest. You want to run away, leave this room and never look back, because although all the dolls are just sitting normally in their place, you feel like you are being watched, with malicious intent.
You want to leave.
But Nikolai says to wait for him.
You don't like to be watched like this.
But you love it when he watches you.
Sometimes you could hear baby noises, sometimes children laughing, sometimes a girl's innocent laugh. Or maybe they are just a delusion. Maybe your brain is trying to keep you entertained from being alone. The music box from a nearby shelf abruptly pings before it plays a broken melody of Melancholia.
You curl yourself, hugging your knees as your eyes are frantic around the room. You are alone. Yet everyone is watching you.
And suddenly, the door opens and the man you've been waiting for more than five minutes has returned with a black jacket in his hand. He is also wearing a black coat himself. He looks just like when you first approach him at your window.
Nikolai smiles at you and he seems pleased that you're still where you are. “Good girl you are.” he grins before he crouches right next to you. He helps you wear the jacket over your torn blouse, zipping it up so it would cover your body.
“Come, I'll lead you out. All your friends have escaped,” he says before he takes your hand, helping you to stand. You groan a bit when you finally get up. Nikolai gives you a soft smile before he leads you out.
The walk is just silent. Your steps are slow and awkward, and he tries his best to match your pace, despite him being a much taller person who can make big strides on his own. But you could see Nikolai is content enough with the silent walk. The blush on his face and the possessive grip on your hand is enough proof that he enjoys this boring walk.
“Stop smiling,” you mumble, pouting. Nikolai laughs.
“I like holding your hand.”
“You like to hold every fucking thing, even my tits.”
“Yes, that's completely true.”
On the third floor, he walks you until you both arrive at a corridor that directly leads to the exit door. The door is just at the other end of the corridor and you can see it's slightly open already.
“Just walk ahead and you should be fine,” he says before he lets go of your hand. “Go, go. Your friends are waiting. Send my best regards to Alex.” he smirks at the end of his words. You huff.
“Right, no way.” you sigh. Nikolai only smiles, still sly and tricky. He jerks his head to the exit, gesturing you to get out. You press your lips together before you take a few steps back, and finally, you turn around.
You walk to the exit door, through the dark corridor. Almost reaching the end, you turn your head around one last time to look at your beloved.
He is already gone.
— ♡
“Holy shit! You're fucking safe!”
“We are about to call the police!”
Your friends bombard you with questions. Clear worry is washing their face. Some staffs are also there and you feel timid and small again — seems like you caused a ruckus but all you did was fucking your stalker. Julia gives you your belongings, seems like they have retrieved their items from the lockers in the meantime.
“God, I'm glad you're safe.” suddenly Alex pulls you into a hug, making you as surprised as ever. You gently nudge him to break the contact, but he keeps close to you. Then, he looks at you with worry. He leans closer to your ear.
“Are you okay? Whose this jacket belongs to?” he asks and you swallow hard, finding it difficult to answer truthfully.
“I... I am okay.” you decide not to say anything about the jacket. It reeks of Nikolai's cologne and it is comforting, especially when you're the centre of attention right now.
“P-Please... Please say the truth. Don't hide anything from me. Are you truly okay?” Alex's voice is now full of concern. He still controls his volume so the conversation is just between you two.
“I am... W-What's wrong?” you ask, worried that Nikolai did something while he was gone retrieving his jacket earlier. Alex frowns and then takes a deep breath.
“I... I think I heard something I shouldn't hear when I was looking for you...”
Oh, no.
“D-Did the... Did the man rape you?”
“No!”
Your eyes are wide as you shake your head fast. “No, no. That's... That's—”
That is what? What is that? The man who appeared at your house also appeared at mine and he had been stalking for a year and he haunted me and he chased me and he fucked me — my body, mind, morals, everything — I don't know what's wrong and what's good anymore and he forced me to tangle myself in this relationship and I can't get out I can't leave I can't escape he's caging me he's holding me he's chaining me — but he doesn't assault me he treats me nicely he craves me — and he loves me so much he loves me and I think I'm starting to love him too but it's wrong it's wrong it's wrong this love is so fucking wrong
“H-Hey, calm down.” Alex holds your shoulder and you realize your other friends are looking at you two with confusion. You look at Alex — expectant. He seems to understand enough as he shakes his head. “I don't say anything to them, yet... But we can talk about this. Please, just tell me what happened.”
Your lips are shaking. You can't tell anyone — it's too dangerous. Even now, you could feel the threat of his knife everywhere around this fair. He's watching, from the dark as always.
“I don't get assaulted. It's... It's mutual... It's... fuck...” this is fucking embarrassing and you can see Alex's shock. If he calls you a slut now, you would not mind at all because perhaps it is true.
“It's complicated. But I assure you....” you take a deep breath. “He's not assaulting me...”
“Do you actually know him?”
You freeze at the question. You wager your choice and slowly, you nod. Alex gasps and lets go of your shoulders. His face turns pale — he must have realized what actually happened.
“S-So, he's your... lover...?”
No no no no no he's not he's not but he loves me and I love him but we are not lovers
You find it hard to reply. Part of you wants to nod. Another half wants to deny it. But it's clear that there's a narrative already formed in Alex's mind now by the way he is looking at you.
“So your boyfriend... he's the one... he tried to k-kill me...?”
Overwhelmed.
That's all you could feel right now. You are overwhelmed with everything. You cannot pinpoint the exact feelings you're rushed over with. Everything is jumbled together.
“I'm sorry— I need to go. I'll go home first.”
You want to escape. You immediately turn around and leave the group in haste — I need to get away I need to escape I need I need I need to breathe.
You could hear Alex shouts your name but you ignore him. You keep walking until you're one with the crowd. The time is getting late and the haunted fair is getting busier — three in the morning is the paranormal hour after all, though it is still 2 AM.
Your breathing is heavy. You feel ashamed and humiliated. You feel lonely and upset. You feel confused and dizzy. You are just alone among the people who are merry, excited to fear themselves.
For a moment, you feel disgusted and used. Why not — you were fucked stupid and then had to deal with shame by yourself while your stalker gets away from the scene very quickly.
You want to cry now. You want a hug. And you want someone to chase over you in a desperate effort to console you.
So you turn around once — expecting one of your friends, maybe Alex, to come and chase you out of concern. Anyone, just anyone, — please come to me...
But your eyes could only catch the sight of him in the crowd. He's looking straight at you. His smile is just as usual — playful and mischievous. But his eyes are solemn, drooping a bit. He... does not look excited, much different from the first moment he chases you like this nights ago.
“Kolya...”
— ♡
You're out of the fair, still alone. You look around, cars are parked all over and people are coming into the fair. You awkwardly shift to the side but not long before a hand reaches out to you, gripping your wrist.
You turn your head, seeing Nikolai standing right behind you now. He stares at you and you return his stare. Then, silently, he hugs you by your waist, bringing you to the parking lot. He leads you to a car.
It's his car, certainly. He unlocks the car, inviting you in by opening the door for you. You look at him, and he just smiles. “Get in, princess,” he says and you get in without any words. He closes the door and gets to the driver's side.
The journey between your house and the fair usually takes about thirty minutes, but since it's already two in the morning, there aren't many cars on the street. Silent during the drive, you're just stealing glances at him.
“... Didn't you say you need to be the last person to leave the fair?” you ask, voice small.
“I'll return to the fair after I take care of you. When you're finally asleep soundly, that is,” he says. It seems weird to see Nikolai being such a normal quiet person right now. Usually, he's fucking annoying, all over the place, chaotic and bizarre. The peace he offers right now is charming, in its own way.
“I can take care of myself.”
“I want to take care of you.”
“Why?”
“Because I love you. I love you so much that I am willing to succumb to my own emotions just to make sure you're okay. I love you so much that I put aside my ideal, as long as you're no longer upset.”
You look at him, on the verge of crying.
“Y-You ruined my life... You ruined everything...”
“I am ruining you. And I will keep doing it. Because then you will fly back to me, my little dove.”
You shake your head, unable to completely fathom what's he implying. You are just overwhelmed with emotions. You are constantly worried about what will you have to tell your friends at work later. You are afraid of your own conscience and morals. You are in love with a murderer who killed innocent people.
“I wish I can be free of this thought... This... this fucking brain of mine. I just... want to lose myself at this moment and not have to suffer from my own guilt and conscience... This sucks...”
You wipe your brimming tears, sobbing, and then there, you see Nikolai looking at you with glimmering eyes, full of hope. He's smiling, crazed and happy.
He has found something.
— ♡
Nikolai surely is something. He washed you and cleaned you. He even prepared your pyjama and made your bed. Right now, he's doing some laundry downstairs while you are on your bed, drinking sweet tea made by him.
The door to your room opens and Nikolai steps in with a smile. “I've started your washer. About your torn blouse, do you want me to sew it back or just buy a new one, sweetheart?” he asks as he sits on your bed, looking at you with a gentle gaze.
“Buy me a new one. More expensive,” you demand, nudging his ass with your foot. Nikolai laughs and nods.
“Alright, baby. Next night, m'kay?” he says. Then he turns serious. “... Have you thought of quitting your job, my dear?” he asks and you turn solemn again.
“... I do admit I'm embarrassed to face them...”
“..... You know, I actually worked as a secretary before,” he says, scratching his head. You snort, finding his joke funny at least.
“Yeah, right.”
“No, I'm saying the truth. Like... five..? Maybe six or seven years ago. I worked as a secretary before. And let me tell ya, coworkers stay coworkers. They don't care about your personal life unless you're going out of your way to ramble your mouth.” he says with a grin. “So, if your 'friends' or coworkers are that curious about what happened, just tell them you're lost or something. Make up a small lie. If they demand more, you can just remind them of their boundary.” he adds.
Your mind is taking memo of his words — for a second, he sounds like a proper adult.
“W-What about Alex?” you ask, carefully. Nikolai snickers.
“I'll take care of it.”
“Oh, fuck no.” — okay, not exactly a proper adult now.
“I'm kidding. But well, for now, we can safely assume he knows he won't have a chance to be with you. He won't. He never has a chance.” Nikolai seems adamant about that, clearly. “But it's okay. I'll help you to drive that little shit away later.”
“I don't want you to hurt them, not even Alex,” you say, holding his arm. “Don't hurt people that are associated with me.”
Nikolai frowns. He is quiet for a few seconds before he sighs defeatedly. “I'll see to it—”
“Promise me!”
“Okay, okay, I promise! For now!”
You sigh afterwards — well, that's good enough, you think. Even if it's temporary, it still gives you time to consider everything.
Nikolai cackles before he scoots closer and pats your head. He then leans forward, kissing your lips shortly. “Now I need to go, dearest. I'll see you soon, alright? Sleep well, my love.” he whispers lovingly before he stands up.
But you immediately put your teacup to the side, grabbing his hand. Nikolai looks at you, smiling with a tilt of his head. “Yes, my love?”
“You ruin me, you force me to lose everything. Atleast, please stay...”
I need someone right now. Don’t leave me alone.
Just watch over me, that's all I need now.
Nikolai cannot help a smirk to form on his face, his gaze is piercing into you. He takes off his coat, letting it drop to the floor before he gets onto the bed with you. He cups your face, placing a gentle deep kiss on your lips. He sighs happily.
“My precious dove...”
“As you wish, my love. I will stay, as you wish. May the moonlight witness me taking your guilt away.”
©cherikolya 2023 — do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, reblogs are very appreciated
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