#we deserve what we get. if you simply cannot get over your desire and your entitlement to do conquering and settling forever

[valeriasdream]

You Are in Control

A long post ahead, so I put a cut to save space for you all. I hope this helps. A bit nervous posting this and I get a little ramble-y, so apologies in advance for that.

We try to control our external world by focusing on our results, but by doing so we give up our actual control.

Have you ever heard the philosophy that you can't change others, you can only change yourself? The same applies here. You cannot change the outer world without changing your own inner world and mindset.

The only thing you will ever have 100% control over is yourself and your internal world. No one has control over your belief system, as much as people will tell you that what you believe is not wrong, it's still yours.

On Traumatic Events

That being said, I want to talk about traumatic events in relation to manifestations and reality shifting, since I've seen a lot of people posting or talking about it recently.

I think people misunderstand that when we say our assumptions make up our reality it means we are therefore responsible or the cause of bad things that happen to us, including traumatic events or abuse.

This is simply not true.

I think it's incredibly cruel to tell people that their abuse or their trauma is their fault. It's not.

Imagine you are going through life with a blindfold over your eyes, but you are unaware that you have a blindfold on. You think you can see, you are not aware that you are blind. So you continue your life, falling over, getting hurt, running into things because you just simply do not have the awareness to even realize that you are blind. How can you be responsible for getting hurt, how can it be your fault that you were hurt if you couldn't even see the path in front of you?

Then one day, you experience something that causes you to become aware of the blindfold. It could be another person telling you about it, it could be just through random circumstances that you felt your face and realized, "holy shit, I'm blind!" Whatever the circumstance is, it does not matter.

So you take off the blindfold, and you suddenly notice that you have total control of your path, and now you can avoid all pain or dangerous outcomes.

This is sort of how I view trauma or negative experiences... And I am aware that my blindfold analogy sounds a bit "culty" because of the whole, "open your eyes take off the blindfold" shit but it's the best analogy I've got, so I'm sorry for that. I am NOT trying to sound like some bullshit person who blindly believes in the law without acknowledging traumas. Traumas are real and they happen to people.

Sometimes we are blinded, and unaware. And when we are blind and unaware, we don't have control. And it's not our fault for being unaware, because think of how you were before you knew about the law or about shifting. You were just living your life, you were letting life lead you. You were in survival mode. How can you blame someone for just being in survival?

That does not mean that you are the cause for any bad things that happened to you because at the time, you were unaware of the control and power you had. And that's perfectly valid and okay, whatever may have happened to you it was not your fault.

It is now up to you whether or not you want to stay in that state, and because you are now aware of the control you have over yourself it is so much more freeing. The blindfold has been removed, you are no longer stumbling through life simply trying to survive. You are free to create however you desire.

As a side note, I want to express that it is absolutely possible to heal from traumas. It is hard, it is very very scary, I know because I've been there myself. But it is possible... And the moment you do, the moment you free yourself of whatever happened to you, you will understand that it was never your fault. If anyone is reading this who has been through something painful, difficult, or traumatic... You didn't deserve that. You will lead whatever life you desire, whether it's manifesting a better life here for yourself, or shifting to a whole new reality in your DR. It's not about deserving or not, everyone deserves their own version of their reality regardless of the person you are. There is no good or bad, there is only a state of being.

I just wanted to end on this note because I think people can sometimes blame themselves far too easily, and sometimes we need reassurance and to understand that we're not responsible for what happened to us, but we are responsible for handling our own healing.

No one can heal you but you. Just like no one can change your reality but you.

You are in control. Do not ever let anyone take that away from you.

This post from 2022 in the Neville Goddard subreddit has a take that I find very helpful in also understanding that you are not the cause of your traumas.

If you've read this far, thank you for your time. Whether we agree or not, I hope everyone remains respectful.

🩷 Valeria

#law of assumption #lawofassumption #loa #reality shifting #desired reality #reality shift #shiftblr #shifting #reality shifter #shifting blog #neville goddard #nevillegoddard #loassumption #loablr #loa tumblr

[cozymoko]

Kamaboko boys reaction to, "I love you."

This includes: Tanjiro Kamado, Zenitsu Agatsuma, Inosuke Hashibira, Genya Shinazugawa

Pairing: All x Gender neutral reader

WARNING(S): none

HASHIRA VERSION KNY MASTERLIST

⠀⠀TANJIRO KAMADO

He smiled kindly, sneaking a peek at you through his dark, thick lashes. A field of unkempt sakura blooms blossomed along his round cheeks, tingeing them a faint pink. BA-THUMP! BA-THUMP! BA-THUMP! His heart cried out. Your words left him uneasy, embarrassed even, as they lightly tickled his chest. Despite his wishes, he could not speak for he was grinning far too wide to do so.

Training that evening proved to be quite the challenge for the young slayer as vivid pictures of you had obscured his mind, slowly but surely eating away at his concentration. Your words rang through his head like a silver bell, loud and persisting, furthering his desire to see you —touch you— He's getting red just thinking about it!

“T…Thank you for loving me. I really don't deserve you sometimes.” He whispered, leaning into your shoulder. “I love you too.” Tanjiro pressed a light kiss to your cheek, using his free hand to gently grip your unoccupied shoulder. A cheery laugh had escaped you at his chastity, nearly sending his heart into another frenzy. And to no one's surprise, you were enjoying every bit of it.

⠀⠀ZENITSU AGATSUMA

Oh my, you've made the poor thing faint. Stumbling over his words much like any other sweet adolescent. His fair skin held a warmth much like the sun, if not putting it to shame. Even with his lack of consciousness, that same lovesick grin had never fled his lips. Oh, and be a dear and close his mouth. We wouldn't want him to swallow any pesky flies, would we?

Upon his return from the land of dreams, Zenitsu was distraught. His body rested against the plush cushions of your futon with you seated by his side. He watches you gently rest a damp cloth on his burning skin, humming a feeble tune to occupy the silence. Zenitsu cleared his throat in hopes of "cooly" responding to your confession, but as you'd expect, he fails miserably.

“I-I love you too!!” He shouted, clasping your hands to his chest. “Wait, no — I love you more than anything!” You gently push him back towards the futon, tucking him beneath the sheets once more before lightly caressing his rosy cheeks. To him, words simply cannot convey his feelings for you. They are far too complex to describe. He's happy and he sure as hell wants you to know that.

⠀⠀INOSUKE HASHIBIRA

“Eh? The hell is that!?” Of course, he's confused, why wouldn't he be? Don't take it to heart, you expected this after all. (growing up in the wild does that to you.) Nonetheless, you can't help but feel a little bit annoyed by his statement. Just how clueless could he possibly be and why did you care about him so much? Two questions that you decided to indulge in another time.

Once you walked away, Insouke was quick to find Tanjiro and ask what this "love" thing was, seeing as you were so reluctant to tell him. At first, he finds it rather silly. Why do people use those words as a term of endearment anyways? He can just show you how much he cares! But with further convincing from Tanjiro, Inosuke shoves his inquiries to the side...for now.

“I ‘luove’ you, or whatever you said, too.” You gave him the most deadpan expression, using that moment to take in the immediate panic dancing across his gentle features. A snort slipped past your lips as you snaked your arms around his perfectly thin waist. At that point, you didn't know what you hated more, his obliviousness or his pretty face.

⠀⠀GENYA SHINAZUGAWA

“What...what'd you say?” He grimaced at the harshness of his tone as it was not his intention. He turned away from you, brushing his nose with the pad of his thumb in sheer hope of masking his embarrassment. But it didn't. You were able to spot the deep red creeping up the back of his neck to the tips of his ears. Scooting a bit closer to him, you rest your head on his back, rendering him stiff. But at that moment, you just didn't care.

Being as ill-mannered as he is, Genya hadn't expected anyone who didn't share the same blood to genuinely care for him. The boy has natural bitch repellent unbeaten in his DNA so surely even you are aware of the reasoning behind his insecurities. But, I suppose that makes him charming in a very questionable sense.

“You aren't too bad yourself...” which roughly translates to “I love you too so please don't take this the wrong way.” Genya needs as much love as he can get, though he refuses to admit it. As his partner you should go with your gut when dealing with him — if you think he needs comfort, a hug, then just do it — because at times, you seek to understand his emotions better than himself.

#—🍁 #x reader #kimetsu no yaiba imagines #kimetsu no yaiba headcanons #kimestu no yaiba scenarios #kny headcanons #kny imagines #kny scenarios #kny x y/n #tanjiro kamado x reader #zenitsu agatsuma x reader #tanjiro x reader #zenitsu x reader #inosuke hashibira x reader #inosuke x reader #genya shinazugawa x reader #genya kny x reader #yandere kimetsu no yaiba #kimestu no yaiba imagines #demon slayer headcanons #demon slayer imagines #demon slayer scenarios #kny x reader #kny

[cinefairy]

it’s your personal journey

spend more time with yourself.

what people forget about the law is that it’s a personal experience. when you spend your time looking for that next post, awaiting for someone outside of yourself to give you the answer or doing millions of methods desperately— you are forgetting that there is nothing to look for outside of yourself.

you are the solution to all your problems.

so many of us find the law when we’re the most upset or hurt in our lives, i know i did. we chain ourselves to our mistakes, our pasts. we ponder on what we could’ve been or what we should’ve done. all the choices we could’ve made and where we would be if we took them.

but why must you re-live your pain over and over again? don’t you see it does nothing but hurt you even more. and give you more reason to be cruel to yourself?

when we acknowledge that we do not have to have to suffer anymore, that attaching ourselves to the past does nothing but give us more reasons to feel worthless we have this desire to do better.

we may have not made the best choices in the past, we may have not lived up to certain expectations but thats not a reason to give up on ourselves and submit ourselves to failure, we cant beat ourselves up for as long as we live.

"But we cannot simply sit and stare at our wounds forever" — Haruki Murakami

so..imagine. imagine all the things you want to imagine, maybe right now they’re impossible or you cant even see it materialising. oh well. who cares? does it make you feel good? if the answer is yes, do it!

don’t enter your imagination with the intention of manifesting something in the 3D, you’ll only be left starving. imagine because it feels good, imagine because you’re no longer trapped. you’re free in imagination. imagine because you deserve all the great things in life.

eat the citrus fruit of your life and enjoy every bit of it, suck the juice from every finger, run your tongue over your chin and savour every last bit. do it because no one is stopping you, do it because you are free too.

fulfil yourself inwardly. it’s actually a very beautiful thing to do so— when you give yourself what you want & claim ownership of it, you no longer need validation from the external world.

you no longer depend on the external world and lean on it to tell you what you are. you identify yourself with whatever you wish to be identified as so go above and beyond— you don’t need a reason why. you don’t need anyone’s permission approval to fulfil yourself within but your own.

it’s more about getting your desire, this is about identifying yourself as who you want to be. this is about not letting society/external world label you but you labelling yourself on your own terms.

#law of assumption #manifestation #affirmations #dream life #manifesting #neville goddard #life goals #success story #law of attraction #void success #void success story

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "Loving letter from your higher self"

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read about what your higher self would like to tell you right now and how they may want to encourage you or show you the way to reach for them.

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

1 2 3 4 - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 1

Darling, it's time to heal the past. What do you want to say? What do you want? Who cares what others say, just go. Follow your guts. And if it won't go well, you've tried, you'll have nothing to blame yourself for and you know you won't have regrets or live in fear. I know you're scared, I was too. So much scared. We are humans, it's okay to be scared of what we don't know, of life in general. But we need to be true to ourselves. Take a pause and have a chat within us. It's time to stop giving up or renouncing to things for others or even just because we don't feel they belong to us... we are doing it for what? For sure, we're not getting prizes for this. It's our life, nobody else matters. So just be you, let's just be us. Listen to us. To our heart. If people will ever judge us negatively or think we're any less, it's their problem not ours. Stop thinking about them. Take charge. Regain control. Stand up for yourself, free yourself. It's all in your hands. You need to realize deep down all your worth, all your desires, and start working towards them, no matter what else will come in between. You're deserving of love, and much more. People come, people go, there's nothing fixed, not even in their words or thoughts: they're all as uncertain and insecure as us. Do you really want to have such an unstable source validating and guiding you? You're the only one who needs validating yourself, ourselves. But you need to start doing it for yourself, only yourself. Not because of others and what you fear they'll think of you or if you'll hurt them. You have feelings too. You are important too. So, what do you want? Whatever it is, know that you can get it or at least try to get it, no matter how difficult it seems now. No matter how impossible. And even if you won't get it at first or at all, it'll be fine anyway. But be you, and consider trying a new road if you need. I'll wait for you here. I have trust in you, so trust us too.

[you may be called by pile 4 too; letter A may be important; your letter kinda reminds me of the dialogue on the beach between Adrian -with the A, love it- and Rocky in Rocky III, where you are Rocky and your higher self is Adrian asking you for truth; there's a chance you're trying to manifest love -any type- or feeling lovable: you are, simply cause you're here. You don't need to do or be anything in particular to be lovable and/or find love, just believe you deserve]

song: open your eyes | hoobastank

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 2

Dear one, I know things are pretty confusing right now. I know you feel stuck and as if you were keep working on the same thing but cannot see a way out of it. But keep strong for a little more, would you? I know you wanna give up sometimes, just let go, sleep it all away... Take a nap then. Give yourself a break and then start all over again. More corageously, more bravely, more focused and determined on your goal. It is not time to give up: you don't know what may happen if you hold on for a little more. It's all I am asking you: hold on. I know it seems a lot on some days, but on those days just give yourself a break. Start again on better days, even if it's after a week or two. But do not completely give up, especially not on you, not on us. Be strong willed as I know you are, as I know we are. All the scrapes in our soul will be healed, we'll find peace. This I promise you. Curl in into yourself, embrace yourself as if you were in an egg. You're going to be born again soon. I know you cannot see it now, but you will. You are your own (our own) embryo. So take your time to work on you, learn to treat yourself with kindness and love, and get ready to be born into a new person. The amazing person you already are inside but aren't aware of. The amazing person you'll realize you are one day soon. Let our insticts guide you: they never really failed you, unless when you let our mind in. Find a different way to look at the problem: this will be the start of it all. Find your own reasons, find your own real self. Re-connect with your core. Re-learn how to talk with yourself. Everything will change. Everything is changing. Take care of you, I am always here. You are not alone, and you're not supposed to stay alone or do anything alone. Once you feel ready, get out of the shell. The world is waiting, and I am waiting for you too. I am waiting to show you all the beautiful things you deserve.

[letter T may be important; you're transforming into another you atm, I keep seeing this person in an embryo with their eyes closed, in a fetal position; atm you may be undergoing a huge change but also an internal battle: the advice is to take your time and learn more about yourself; if you fear going deep inside alone cause you don't know what you will find, ask for help; it's hard to keep the focus, maybe you are easily distracted or suffer from adhd/ocd or are dealing with too many things at times and are overwhelmed... try to find ways to distract from this and calm your mind; talk with someone, even your Guides or anyone really; if you're grieving, give yourself time to go through the whole porcess, maybe learn about it online -a positive message/sign may be coming in soon; drink water and stay hydrated, ily<;3]

song: with me | sum41

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 3

Hello little one! It's time to write your own story! Are you ready? There's gonna be big things and little things, big random stuff and smaller ones, big changes and smaller ones...remember to keep in consideration all of them. And never despise little things as they may carry the most valuable experiences for you. Be open to anything my love! It's time to be brave and get our there and show who you are, be proud of what you did and who you grew to be. I am. I really am. You're kind, determined, strong and so energetic... and you totally need to be hyped and get ready for this new start. You're not seeing anything now, you need to trust. To leave the past behind and go forward with all your positivity and good luck by your side (you have it!!). Feel it in your bones, follow that feeling. Take this leap of faith and trust you'll end up where you have always dreamed of. I know there are still some things that make you feel unsure or feel like willing to postpone this jump in the unknown, but trust me: if you'll wait for the day you'll feel ready, you may even wait forever. Let this go. Okay, okay. Maybe I'm trying to rush you a bit. Okay. Got it. Keep healing what is causing you stress inside, have a deeper look, understand yourself, ourselves, maybe take a break from all the people/socials and the stress of internet and its messages so to really focus on what is important for you and how beautiful you really are... but then please PLEASE *praying hands emoji* jump! Jump all force, jump big. Do not make a little random insecure step and an awful dive, we need to jump and take all the 10s we can from the 10 meters trampoline! I promise it's gonna be fine. SO-VERY-FINE. I'm so excited for you babe!

[your higher self is very funny and cheering, their expression/face remind me of an old tv sketch in which Jerry Lewis pretended to use an imaginary type-writer; I am also seeing this emoji •ᴗ•; letters E and R may be important; maybe diving or swimming or any sport related to water can be important for you or water can be of help/healing -even swimming in a swimming pool; also time is very important, either as divine timing or as taking time for yourself or... "making it in time"? If you're stressing about running out of time, don't. You're plenty of time]

song: time | ellaharp

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 4

My love there's so much you can't see! But I want you to be ready and learn to receive, to be so bold you ask for the highest prize and wait for it to be delivered to your door. You are in charge of your own life and you know it, so just stand tall in it and forget doubts: these only hinders you. Don't be afraid, you're not asking for anything too much, and it's not up to you to decide what is too much and what not. You did a lot, you grew up so much... And it has been tough, I know. Many of the things that happaned to you, you didn't deserve them, but trust that all your effort is not going unseen. Higher forces are at work for you, to give you back something after all you gave. I know it seems impossible to change what has been, to start something new, to experience something new. To even think about all this makes you dizzy, right? And kinda stresses you cause at the moment, everything is still in the making, "it's all so quiet"... but it's the calm before the storm. And I know you know storms so well. You have seen many. And for this reason, because you've seen how things can change during and after a storm, I want you to believe that things can change for you too. That you can get what you wish for. That it's time to change course of things, to let the wind blow you in the right direction. You'll be getting a news soon, just remember to get infos about it before answering and to not get your self doubts or insecurities in between. We have learned our lessons, it's time to put them into practice. Do not let anyone fool you. We need to make a different move/decision, if we want to have a different result. And I know you have all it takes to make it. I am here for this reason, in fact. Thank you.

[you may be called by pile 1 too; letters V, T, C and O may be important; bjork song "it's oh so quiet" may hide messages for you; if you want to fall in love, you are getting ready to or falling in love with yourself first now; you may like windy days or like to sail or be air dominant/have air signs especially in the big 3]

song: (crack it) something going on | bomfunk mc's ft. jessica folcker

#pac #pick a card tarot #pick a pile #pick a picture #pick a photo #pick a card #pac reading #pac tarot #free tarot reading #tarots #tarot readings #tarot reading #tarotcommunity #tarotblr #divination #clairs readings #psychic readings #intuitive message #intuitive readings #intuition

[hopeyarts]

THE ONE CHANGE THAT COULD’VE MADE WISH BETTER AS A MOVIE (RANT POST)

✨———————————————————————

If Wish ended with King Magnifico getting true love’s kiss from Queen Amaya, then he and Asha actually talk about their views more and come to terms and forgive each other…

I wouldn’t find a single problem with the story.

Disney’s biggest mistake about this movie was making him turn into a ‘classic villain’ and locking him up by the end of it. I get that the audience wanted a true Disney villain, and the company tried to provide that but they also DIDN’T really provide that until the third half of the movie.

But in this case with the film that they gave us (take away all the concepts and deleted scenes), this guy was sympathetic at best. Now I’m not going to baby his character and treat him like an absolute angel, but what I will say is that he deserved to be redeemed.

He’s not a villain. At most, he was a douchebag (I mean that in the nicest way possible). But that doesn’t take away the fact that he was also a genuinely benevolent king. His paranoia and need for power got the better of him, but that doesn’t make him a bad person. The forbidden evil book only influenced the darkest parts of himself, and unfortunately it was his need for power. Originally it was to keep the kingdom safe from a false threat, then the book shifted it into a need for power to just… keep himself in full power over everyone, in the worst way possible. Kinda bland, but whatever.

With this redeemable ending, this would’ve given our main character Asha an arc. She could’ve learned that it’s okay to not get what you want and that you have the ability to MOVE ON. She can realize she doesn’t have to be chained to a lost desire, and can give herself the option to improve their lives and listen to others. Like with her father— Tomás died from an illness even after she wished for him to get better. That’s her lost desire. That moment in her life drove her to make sure that her family, for example her Saba, wouldn’t feel that hurt like she had. That’s why she wanted Sabino’s wish granted so much. Yes, it was selfish from an audience viewpoint when she simply asked for King Magnifico to grant Sabino’s wish. We cannot deny that. And for what it’s worth I actually like this scene, but not when it reaches the ending of the movie. I LIKE the idea that Asha is selfish from the beginning, and THEN turns into someone who is selfless. We see her focus on Sabino’s wish at first, because she wants him to be happy, then that focus turns towards the entire community. I like that idea, but the execution was not it BECAUSE Disney decided to not redeem King Magnifico. That’s how this whole thing backfires on Asha as a character. It makes her look selfish for the ENTIRE movie. I love her (honest to God I do), but I have to admit that she seemed a slight bit selfish and naive, even if her intentions were good. And no, this selfishness doesn’t make her a villain. We see Disney protagonists be selfish, but then they learn to be selfless. So I’d never demonize her. To do that, I’d have to throw away all understanding of this movie and the character motivations, and even my willingness to look at something in another person’s perspective. She’s only a teenager after all.

Sorry, that was a little bit of a rant there. Disney just makes me frustrated.

Asha’s not a bad person, and neither is King Magnifico. They just didn’t think their options through.

Now if we were to give King Magnifico this redemption, he can’t go without a lesson learnt as well. He could learn the same thing as Asha: that you can choose to move on and not let a lost desire keep you stuck in the past. What he did for his people was right, but the execution was not. Yes, he kept them safe and sound… but he took a part of their hearts.

Remember that a wish is the ‘one that drives your heart’ or according to Magnifico, ‘They are a part of your heart. The very BEST part.’ (I can make a post about how the wishes given up were good intentioned. Some were vague, but they were the BEST good of a person’s heart. Although one thing I find humorously stupid is how someone’s wish is to find a nanny for their kids. Like damn- are your kids that bad? 😭 I’m sorry, I find it a little funny.)

So what is living a life safely but without passion? The answer to that is that it’s NOT living.

“A life without passion isn’t living at all. It is merely existing.” - Leo Buscaglia

This shouldn’t villainize movie King Magnifico, because he did this to protect his people and his kingdom. And the reason behind this is because of his past. So he could’ve learned that not everything is out to get him and that he can choose to move on and IMPROVE. Especially the system with wish granting.

I feel like I made this too long. But all in all, the story would’ve been perfect (in my eyes) if King Magnifico was redeemed at the end, and he and Asha could’ve learnt a shared lesson about moving on. And even still, your dreams can come true in unexpected ways.

Again, I like both Asha and King Magnifico. They are quite similar in terms of motivations and being plagued by their past lost desires. They thought they had to take matters into their own hands, and they didn’t think their options through. One however was rewarded for this, meanwhile the other was villainized for it. And no, I don’t blame that on Asha.

Additionally, I’d like to add that I like Wish. So don’t think I’m saying any of this because I ‘hate the movie’. I really don’t. If I turn off my brain and distract myself with the songs and art, I can get through the movie just fine. I just recognize that the story isn’t portraying what Disney intended, and I can only blame the executives. Not the writers, not the artists or animators, and certainly not the cast members. They did what they could with what Disney executives gave them, and I can only appreciate their hard work into trying to create a story for a 100th anniversary.

Thanks for reading all the way through! 💖

#wish #wish 2023 #disney wish #wish movie #disney asha #wish asha #asha #wish king magnifico #king magnifico #disney king magnifico #character analysis #analysis #rant #character rant #rant post #wish fandom #wish disney #wish magnifico #hopeyarts #fyp #fypシ

[cypionate60mg]

is forcemasc a response to sissy hypno? or something far different?

This is an important question with a long answer.

I don't know if I understand your distinction between "response" and "something far different", because I'd say both can be true. I'm also not quite sure what you mean by "response". I'm going to assume you mean that forcemasc is informed by the aesthetic precedents of sissy hypno.

First, let's clarify that sissy hypno is technically a subcategory of forced feminization, but has grown large enough to effect other porn genres in its own unique way. So, overall, sure, the disjointed genre of forcemasc is a response to forcefem, at the very least. And maybe also to sissy hypno. Mostly because its existence can't be ignored. Even if a forcemasc creator doesn't know about sissy hypno, its complicated presence is still felt in their work.

Sissy hypno claims that watching women get fucked by faceless masculine men will inevitably turn you into a woman, among other things. There's also particular iterations of it that lean deep into the hypno, encouraging the listener or viewer to compartmentalize these desires to get fucked and be feminine into an alter ego. In other cases, they command you to let your 'normal' self be taken over completely by your 'shadow self'. To let your desires become your identity for everybody to see. There's a unique shade of public humiliation. This anxiety that the porn you watch can be seen in the way you look.

I'm not an expert on how trans women and transfems feel about forcefem, especially sissy hypno, but I do know it's very complicated. Some of them used it to excavate their transness, and others find it to be abhorrent and disgusting. They're all entitled to their opinions, and that's a conversation I really don't feel comfortable entering.

Sissy hypno also leaves a particularly bad taste in people's mouths because of how its aesthetic elements were incorporated into gooning. Masturbating your life away until you're a manifestation of porn itself, which often includes becoming a masturbatory object for your 'goon buds'. Do you see what's happening here? The subordination of trans women, specifically, turns them into a fetishistic symbol of porn itself. They have come to represent the corruption of pornography and the failure of modern masculinity. The message is: if one fails to become or remain a man, then they are the plaything of men.

And let's be incredibly clear, this isn't based in any truth. TW/TFs, even those who participate in these fetishes, are not destined to be fleshlights. Their bodies aren't proof of their degeneracy, and their sexual dimensions are not inherently pornographic. But they are having to untangle themselves from that every single day. Any time they want intimacy, they have to navigate around this massive ideological snare.

So, your question, I'll answer it for myself, only. Is forcemasc a response? Yes, and it's intentional. I'm interested in porn that purports to transform its viewer. When you watch it, it fucks you.

So I found it interesting that trans men/transmascs were partaking in sissy hypno and forcefem. And, relatedly, some circles of TM/TMs express desires to be trans women. I'm not going to unpack that right now. Simply because it really deserves its own long post, complete with nuance. But I will say it in some ways points to a fear that sexual attractiveness cannot cohabitate with transness unless in a very particular body. And don't be mistaken, TW/TFs experience that fear too.

I don't really see how a Pinterest board of beautiful 'gender envy' men is all that different from a sissy-hypno flavored porn feed. Except for the fact that it's not explicitly pornographic. It's a particular practice of vibes-based masturbatory transition inspo collaging that all sorts of trans people partake in. We only see it associated with TM/TMs, because everybody unfairly accuses TW/TFs of only caring about aesthetics for perverse reasons.

I won't speak for others. For my attempt at forcemasc, I wanted to come at it from a different angle. How do we flip the script without just lazily making a masculinized copy of sissy hypno? Or avoid merely casting a trans filter on cis gay masculinization fetish? We have to respond, like you said, to not only sissy hypno but all sorts of other pre-existing porn genres. And the conventions apart from porn.

Here's my thought process. What if by becoming a man, you become a plaything for others? What if being masculinized brings you closer together with other people? What if a life of masculinity is possible without the subordination of femininity? Even seemingly more impossible, how do we express complicated feelings about our own feminine histories, gesture to the transphobic messaging about HRT that we receive, and fetishize our masculinization, all in one thoughtful package?

TM/TMs have a hard time envisioning where they might fit in the larger schema of desire, especially in relation to cis men. I think this is probably why so many fixate on 'roachification' and incel-type characters. (God, this could be its own long post.) I want to believe that forcemasc could be an alternative to our community's fetishization of and assimilation to male loneliness.

We're all (jacking off) in this together.

#ask cyp60mg #behind the scenes #director's commentary #transmisogyny mention

[divine-donna]

Please could I request headcanons of the house of the dragon crew where a marriage is arranged between them and their childhood best friend who secretly likes them 💙💙

hi! of course you may. these took a bit longer because i moved back into my apartment for school. and requests will probably close within the next few weeks since this semester is going to be busy.

but please enjoy these head canons!

ser criston cole

ser criston is a lowborn man, thus the arrangement comes as a shock. because arranged marriages were very much a highborn thing. but considering your own background, coming from a lesser house that served as a vassal under house baratheon, it seemed to be the right choice. he wasn’t exactly happy considering that it would interfere with his oaths and duties. of course, his disappointment and coldness towards the arrangement, despite the fact that you two have known each other for years, made you upset. especially considering the fact that you have liked him for quite some time now. perhaps this is why so many marriages tend to grow bitter.

“of course i care about you (y/n), but don’t you think you deserve someone better? someone who has time for your marriage? i have oaths, duties to fulfill! i cannot get married if i aim to be a member of the kingsguard.”

daemon targaryen

marriage arrangements are pretty awful. daemon knows from experience. and despite the fact that it’s attached to you, a friend he considers dear, makes it even worse. arranged marriages are boring. domestic life never satisfied him. and he doesn’t believe that domestic life will make him more appealing. domestic life won’t give him the love he desires. part of him wonders why you agreed with this arrangement when you know full well his stance on arranged marriage. perhaps it may have something to do with the fact that you have fallen in love with him, that you want to scavenge what little of his reputation and honor he has. you were always his defender and viserys could only shake his head, advising you to not forget yourself. but you would never forget yourself nor daemon. daemon was part of you and you were willing to be the good spouse necessary to salvage what is left for him.

“it pains me to see you waste yourself over this marriage. we can simply leave. are you really satisfied being my spouse for the rest of your life, (y/n)? i care about you too much to subject you to such a miserable fate. you deserve better.”

rhaenyra targaryen

rhaenyra loves you, yes. she cares about you. you’re her best friend. or were. she hasn’t seen you for years. and this is the first time she sees you, when her father has basically sold her off to join you in marriage. nothing more infuriates her and makes her feel sick to her stomach. it hurts to see that rhaenyra is in pain, but a duty has to be fulfilled. your family wants a piece of the targaryen dynasty and using your love for the princess, as well as your connection with her, provided the perfect opportunity to sink their claws into the iron throne. you try to be as courteous as possible but rhaenyra is almost never around to talk to you. it hurts, causes your heart to shatter.

“i went flying on syrax tonight. i don’t necessarily love marriage (y/n). the idea of becoming like my mother...i do not want to entertain the thought and reality. and my father has signed away my life as if i was his chattel.”

alicent hightower

alicent mentally prepared herself for possibly being arranged to marry someone from a young age. but she especially prepared herself for a miserable marriage to a man that would not love her. so she was ecstatic when she entered the room and saw you. she could not ask for someone better! and of course, you were happy as well. you have loved her since childhood and to be able to marry her? well, it was your dream come true. it appears the gods have answered your prayers and finally granted you a wish.

“i must be honest, (y/n). i was nervous walking into that room. but my heart soared upon seeing you. i could not ask for a better partner in this world.”

aegon targaryen

to be bound to duty from birth is a miserable existence. and part of that duty is to marry. the claim for the iron throne is at stake and it is a necessity to arrange alliances ahead of time, even against his own will. his mother understood the bloodbath of westerosi politics and attempted to minimize her son’s pain with you. you became aegon’s buffer, if you will. there is not a single person who would deal with his remarks, deal with his drunken episodes, more than you. you were willing to take care of him and he would often wake up to you by his bedside. sometimes awake, sometimes asleep. and he felt guilty. extremely guilty. your family was the perfect pawn needed for the war of succession, to cement his hold on westeros and the iron throne. he knew you loved him. it was no secret. you were horrible at keeping your emotions in check. you deserved not to be his buffer. you deserved to be with him without any malice behind the arrangement.

“i cannot promise to fulfill my duties. not all of them anyways. the people expect certain duties from me. there is a target at my back. and you can leave any time you want. you don’t have to stay. but if you do, know that i love you and do not stay behind for me. i am already a dead man.”

aemond targaryen

aemond meant it when he said he would fulfill his duty. he was an honorable man. you know this from childhood and part of you wished that you two were betrothed. you would do anything for your best friend and you were so hopelessly in love with him. he didn’t realize it when he was younger, but aegon did. and aegon taunted you with remarks about how you two would never be together. oh how he was wrong. so wrong. aemond showed up at your house’s seat with a rolled up piece of parchment and a demand to pledge loyalty to aegon ii. of course, your family rightfully asked what was in it for them, especially because they kept their oaths and swore fielty to rhaenyra. a marriage pact. with (y/n). is what he said. and you swore your heart almost stopped. it was a tempting offer, but you begged your family to let you marry him. they were no stranger to your strong feelings for the one-eyed prince and it looked like rhaenyra’s faction would be defeated. so with hesitancy, they swear fidelity to aegon ii and aemond takes you back with him to king’s landing. his hold on your hand the entire ride is gentle and you notice the smallest bit of pink painting his cheeks.

“i apologize for the...suddenness of this arrangement, (y/n). i advised my mother to let me marry you and convinced her. not only is your house necessarily for securing allegiance, but i...have loved you for some time. there are few people who took care of me when i was younger. i wanted to pay my debt.”

helaena targaryen

many people would not want to marry helaena targaryen, believing her to be peculiar and already declaring her a spinster for her lack of interest in more domestic activities. you, however, love her for her interest. after all, she helped you get over your fear of bugs. you’ve been in love with her since. so when you were given the chance to marry her, you took it. helaena was surprised when her mother said your name and you walked in, pride ingrained within your posture. she couldn’t help but rejoice in private, for a miserable life of marriage would not be her future. instead, it would be with someone who cared for her and hugged her tenderly.

“please stay over tonight, (y/n). i miss your touch. it has been a long time since we have layed like this. your lap is still as comfortable as ever. i do not want this day to end.”

jacaerys velaryon

it’s important to have some sort of grasp on the houses in westeros. many of them swore fidelity, but rhaenyra knows how they really think of her. a woman sitting upon the iron throne is inconceivable. but she had a strategy and sent her son over with a list of demands, asking for fidelity from your family. your family was very influential and perhaps could sway the region to swear fidelity to rhaenyra. and she sent someone you have loved since you were a child: jace. you were surprised to see him in your home. but the offer was something that you had wanted since you were younger: marriage to him. you were ecstatic and so was your family, so of course they agreed. and when you met him later that night, he revealed that he was happy to be marrying someone he knew.

“most people tend to not meet their betrothed until their wedding ceremony. or a little before that. i have the fortune of being betrothed to you, to someone who accepts me as i am.”

#house of the dragon #hotd #hotd x reader #hotd headcanons #ser criston #daemon targaryen #rhaenyra targaryen #alicent hightower #aegon the usurper #aemond targaryen #helaena targaryen #jacaerys velaryon #requests are open

[theundeadsnake]

Offenderman's Morals Headcanons

TW: slight NSFW, mentions of possible violence

Offender doesn’t have many self-imposed rules he abides by.

His existence within itself is pretty immoral, thus while he has some morals, most of the actions we would judge as either good or bad are mainly a matter of practicality and pleasure for him.

He won’t go out of his way to kill his victims as it’s not an action he derives much joy from, but accidents sometimes happen. The difference between him and the average human is great, he is powerful, strong, and massive while humans are fragile, tinny, and weak. He could break you like a twig. 

Since there are a lot of very apparent safety concerns, he does believe that he shouldn’t have any relationships with any human that is considered to be on the smaller side. While he won’t get a measuring tape out, he will try to estimate your height by looking at you. His partners tend to be taller than average to decrease the risk of injury. 

Nowadays he only chooses willing partners, however, he is well aware of the fact that the harm he has done to innocent humans cannot be undone. Him changing and becoming less sinful won’t reverse the horrible acts he has committed. He does not deserve pity, he does not deserve to be looked at as a misunderstood man, he does not deserve to be vindicated. He, just like any criminal out there, knew what he was doing. Instead, he simply prioritized his need for control and pleasure over the well-being and agency of others. 

At the same time, he does still enjoy seeing his partner struggle. He won’t intentionally hurt them. He seeks people with similar tastes, they talk to find out each other’s desires and comfort zones. He always respects the safe world/gesture (e.g. snapping your fingers if you can’t talk) while ensuring that he isn’t too rough. Humans are easy to break both physically and psychologically. 

Plus, having regular partners with developed tastes and reactions he gets to enjoy is more efficient than needing to search for someone new every time. 

Offenders tries to avoid married people. He won’t go out of his way to seek them, nor will he instantly agree to their offer, but if they are persistent in seducing him, he will give them what they want. This is a very grey area and while he knows that by giving in he is helping them break their promise, he also knows that a cheater is a cheater. Whenever they choose him or someone else, they will still disregard their vows. 

He doesn’t condone cheating; hence he will ensure that their partner knows exactly what kind of person their lover truly is. Though, first, he will have fun.

If you make a promise, you must keep it. Offender is always faithful in a serious relationship, and fulfills any promises he makes while expecting the same from anyone else he is with.

Despite being extremely self-centred in his love life, he respects the fact that different people have different sexualities. Therefore, he never goes after people who are not interested in men. 

It is also remembered that Offender has been committing a wide range of crimes for centuries, and while he is not currently engaging in violent crimes for fun, he still does it when he deems it necessary

Other than that, Offender does not have many other lines around morals and is very tolerant of crime.

#creepypasta headcanons #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta #offenderman headcanons #offenderman headcanon #offenderman #creepypasta headcanon

[whinlatter]

i MUST hear your thoughts on "im your man" by mitski and how it's the ginny/harry/sirius trio anthem in "beasts"...must hear

what have you done asking me about this...... a great and terrible mistake........ the air is thick with sirens...........

basically i'm your man is an absolutely perfect song about feeling unworthy and undeserving of the love someone gives you, and a feeling of great dread that one day the other person will realise it and leave. it is - for this reason - so eye-wateringly ginny-sirius-harry coded i simply cannot bear it. that whole album (the land is inhospitable and so are we) is heaven and there are so many songs on it that have been absolutely dynamite for getting the juices flowing with this fic (the frost and star are my hinny anthems for chapter 12  👀)

so i am taking a short dissertation writing break to offer an entirely unhinged rant about i'm your man complete with some mild beasts spoilers because apparently i care a lot about this inexplicably. thank you so much for humouring me!

you're an angel, i'm a dog or you're a dog and i'm your man you believe me like a god i'll destroy you like i am

the first verse plays with the idea that there are three tiers of being - dog, man, angel/god - that all exist in relation to each other. the narrator sings the song to put themselves down. you're an angel, i'm a dog - meaning, i'm lowly nothing compared to your pure divine greatness. in the next line, a twist and advance on that idea: you're a dog (faithful, honest, loyal, loving easily and with such trust) and i'm your man (the one who is responsible for you, who you look to protect and sustain you, who is unworthy of that kind of adoration). you believe me like a god - you trust and believe in my power and ability to take care of you and guide you. but then: i'll destroy you like i am - the only real godlike power the narrator identifies with is the capacity for destruction and ruin.

ok partly it's... you know....... the dog thing because i am very on-the-nose. (obviously sirius as padfoot, but also the distinctions in the wizarding world between beings as the moral civilised entities vs the beasts, the wild and lawless and violent magical creatures). but it's also this suggestion of hero worship and adoration from one character to another, and the object of that kind of love struggling to feel worthy of it and fearing the power it has given them over the other person. it's such a huge vibe for how i'm thinking about these characters !! i feel like it works both for harry and sirius' relationship as well as harry and ginny's: the love and reverence harry has for sirius, when sirius is filled with so much self-loathing and guilt and awareness of his own failings as a parent figure, and the way harry comes to love ginny and think of her as this pure singular light and symbol of all his hopes for a bright and good future, which (i think!) would be a lot for ginny to take on and live up to and feel deserving of. there's even shades of it in how i imagine ginny feels about sirius in the flashbacks - little ginny looking up to sirius like he's a god, hanging off his every word, sirius backing away from being responsible for this child's admiration and desire for guidance from him.

i'm sorry i'm the one you love no one will ever love me like you again so when you leave me, i should die i deserve it, don't i

i mean this is a pure sirius verse imo also with such harry shades to it ('i deserve it don't i' pure ootp harry angst). but i see some of ginny in this too ('i'm sorry i'm the one you love' - her wish that she could just be such cool and chill and easy and trying to live up to this idea harry sometimes as of her as so strong and stoic and able to deal with things, and then her feelings when all that comes crumbling down....)

i can feel it getting near like flashlights coming down the way one day you'll figure me out i'll meet judgment by the hounds

the feeling of being hunted! sirius and harry as wanted men! ginny getting found out and caught in her secrets and half-lies! 'i'll meet judgement by the hounds' god. god

people always gave me love others were never to blame after all you believe me like a god i'll betray you like a man

i think of this verse as the sirius and ginny verse. here the narrator locates the source of their unworthiness internally, not in being deprived of love by others, but in something fundamentally broken and tainted inside them. sirius as a character can't blame a total absence of love for what he's become - he was loved, he blames no-one but himself for the loathing he feels for himself. ginny, too, could not have been more loved, both before the TMR ordeal, but also thereafter - she comes from a family that adores her, she is widely liked and admired; but still, there's something missing in her sense of self. i do not wish to spoil future chapters but yeah this is bit is a Big Mood as we come closer to understanding ginny's war and what it asked of her

in chapters 10 and 11 of beasts, i started to play with this idea of the traitor, of a person who has made a great and terrible choice to betray the people close to them and in doing so revealed a true self that was there all along but lay dormant. so far in the fic, i've tried to thread in a lil drip-drip-drip of questions about the self, who a person really ever is, and about the choices characters make because of their sense of who they are, especially moral choices, in a war and under a regime that must, ethically, be resisted.

of sirius, harry, and ginny, so far it's sirius who knows most about what it is to be a traitor: someone who spent the bulk of his life assumed to be a turncoat, who is consumed by his hatred of wormtail and the memory of his treachery, who can't even begin to grasp the layers and dimensions to his own brother's betrayal, and who fundamentally still thinks of himself as a traitor to his best mate, believing himself to having 'as good as' killed lily and james. harry is the one who's full of trust, throughout the war:

'“No,” Harry said out loud, and they all looked at him, surprised. The firewhisky seemed to have amplified his voice. “I mean . . . if somebody made a mistake,” Harry went on, “and let something slip, I know they didn’t mean to do it. It’s not their fault,” he repeated, again a little louder than he would usually have spoken. “We’ve got to trust each other. I trust all of you, I don’t think anyone in this room would ever sell me to Voldemort."'

“No, I think you’re like James,” said Lupin, “who would have regarded it as the height of dishonour to mistrust his friends.” Harry knew what Lupin was getting at: that his father had been betrayed by his friend, Peter Pettigrew. He felt irrationally angry. He wanted to argue, but Lupin had turned away from him...'

ginny, of course, knows what it is to be betrayed - by her first real friend, by her own brother. but i just think these two final lines, the twist on the first verse, are such a huge huge mood for drawing some of these ideas to the surface as the plot inches (v slowly lol) forwards - the idea of a character who has had every faith put in them by someone who loves and believes in them, who fears that they wll buckle under the weight of it and betray that love and trust in terrible ways. to betray you like a man - for the great moral sin to be something inherent to no other creature or being but man - is just such a powerful cool as shit line that is really gettin me going for writing the next bit of this fic.

wow i didn't even know how much i cared about this song but turns out it's a lot???? troubling for me!

#beasts #sirius black #hinny #mitski the woman that you are #that whole album is fire #i got told off for insisting i don't like my mind was a christmas song and sticking it on on christmas day #like sorry it's MY song of worship? #beasts spoilers

[chuuya4040]

PART 2 - continuation with dazais pov! enjoy <33

part 1 is here.

Longing is within human nature.

It is within our genetic makeup as human beings, to want things we simply cannot have. To desire, to crave for something that is unattainable, with yearning pulling the arteries and veins of your heart to make it beat and scream: /I want him, I want him to be so irrevocably mine that no one will ever take him away from me./

Too bad Dazai was the one to let him go first.

Dazai does not regret his choices of leaving a place that did nothing but fester the darkness within his own sorry excuse for a heart, until his own veins were bathed with blood he no longer recognised. Although, he can’t help but feel his blood stained hands aching to feel a familiar body wrapped around his again.

A heart he does not have, yet those moments when he was around a familiar redhead, all fiery and blue painting his world, something that resembled a heartbeat roared in his chest till he thought he was going to die.

Most nights surrounded with bottles of sake in his quiet and lonely apartment, the detective dreams of hues of red and blue; the flurry of colors brightening his sky until he thought he might explode from it all. He wakes remembering a smile so bright, of hands so gentle and tender accompanied with harsh words with a soft tone.

In those 4 years spent in hiding, Dazai felt as though none of it was real. That he had simply dreamt of nights full of tangled bodies, with mornings spent in arms that made him feel more alive than any drug could ever.

Although he took what he could, even if it meant opening up the show curtains and layering on his true feelings with masks he longer recognized, with makeup and costumes he loathed to wear all to spend time with Chuuya, then Dazai would do anything. /Anything/ to feel the familiar warmth that he has been craving for 4 years swimming in his bloodstream, to feel high when he watches the deep hue of red take over the sky as the world crumbles around them.

/Anything./

“He’s my partner,” Dazai had simply told Atsushi one day before the Lovecraft fight. “He’s my annoying chib-sized dog that cannot think for himself. I can’t think of anything worse than seeing that tacky hat again.”

Atsushi had fidgeted on his seat, when he reluctantly asked “it’s been years since you last saw him.. Aren’t you worried he’ll betray you because you’re on opposite sides now?”

The detective softly chuckled, “oh, don't you know, Atsushi-kun? A dog always answers to their master, no matter how many years they’ve been apart for.”

Dazai supposes he was talking about himself in this instance. He sat with his imaginary tail wagging behind him, swaying swiftly with excitement awaiting to see the only man that could ever beacon his call.

It felt like flying, when they had finally stood side by side once again; it felt like his defective heart had finally pumped again after years when he saw the beautiful destruction of his partner and corruption.

It was a drug he couldn’t get enough of, and it was in the form of Nakahara Chuuya.

Seeing Chuuya in that port mafia bar where they used to go as teenagers and watching his (ex) partner laugh and smile softly among others, made the aching in his heart unbearable. His veins itched to feel the familiar high, to be so wrapped around in the redhead’s world that he saw him and him only.

The pinching of his heart directed him to follow the executive into the alleyway; the hole in his chest that has been growing for 4 years pushed him to hold onto the redhead; the roaring of his heart convinced him to press his lips to the familiar slope of his shoulder.

“I missed you,” he whispers against his jaw.

You make me feel so alive, he wants to scream from the top of his lungs, I had to leave, I’m so sorry, but please come back to me, Chuuya.

How did he ever let this feeling go? The feeling of someone so powerful that could tear him into shreds in seconds, that deserved someone so much better than him, that loved him like it was as easy as breathing air?

Bandaged hands dig into the amble waist, he imagines his nails breaking through the flesh until he’s bathing in his lover's blood until no one could tell them apart. He imagines peeling back the flesh, delicately opening his ribcage and making a home near his heart.

“Osamu,” Chuuya pleads, a leather glove holding whatever is left of his heart in his hand.

Tears prick in his eyes, his heart roaring in his chest hearing a name that he hasn’t heard in years coming from the man he is so irrevocably obsessed with. Say it again, he begs in his mind, say it again and tell me that I can be yours again. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry–

He watches the way azure eyes stare at him, with so much agony and sorrow that all Dazai wants to do is jump through his iris and swim within his mind, if only it meant he could always be with him. To die by those blue eyes would be an honor.

Seeing that weak smile accompanied with “congratulations on leaving. You did what you had to, trust me, out of everyone I fucking get that,” made the ghost of a heart in Dazai’s chest ache with agony, the hollowness in his chest spread into his limbs until they hung on by a single tendon ready to be cut off with gloved hands.

He wishes he had taken those gloved hands that night and whisked him away into the light. Though it would’ve been difficult, and the brightness of it all would’ve burned and scarred their very skin, they would’ve done it /together./ They would have figured out how to be gentle, tender and kind in a world that had only ever rejected them as children, learned how to bathe in the light rather than keen away in fear.

It would’ve been beautiful. It would’ve been magical.

The night that Dazai Osamu fled the mafia, he had only taken the clothes off of his own back and a leather choker.

If Dazai Osamu, one half of soukoku, and dubbed as the Demon Prodigy, fell asleep in those years in hiding clutching a familiar leather choker with tear stains on his pillow and his black heart spilling across the sheets; that was only for him and his four walls to know.

It was bound to happen, Dazai muses over as he watches the flurry of red and black disappear out of the alleyway.

/Everything worth wanting, is lost the moment I obtain it./

It had happened when he so foolishly believed he had found his own little safe corner in the mafia with Odasaku and Ango.He had so foolishly prayed that whatever gods that observed him from above would at least give him the decency to keep Chuuya in his life.

/You will,/ his heart roared, /you will get him back./ Dazai vows that he will do whatever it takes to get his partner, his one and only, back into his life.

And in the end, his heart will finally beat on its own, beating in all its glory and it will be beautiful.

#bungou stray dogs #dazai osamu #bsd #bsd fic #nakahara chuuya #skk fic #thread fic #skk angst #soukoku fic #skk fanfic #soukoku #they make me miserable #inspired by still got it by troye sivan

[avatar-anna]

Fuck. I love prof and Harry!!

I would love a drama to spice up their lives though! Always in an angsty mood, me! Haha!

How is prof y/n and H going to deal with a potential pregnancy scare?? 🫣 Professor doesn’t strike me as the child wanting type.

so in my mind, professor is one of those people who believes that it isn't ethical to have kids when the environment is in such bad shape and there are so many kids who are already born that need homes.

that being said, i also think her desire to not have kids stems from not having any real parental figures growing up, and she just doesn't think she's cut out to be a mother, or if she would make a good one.

this would be one of the big fights they have in their relationship. and it's not because harry disagrees with her or that he wants to try and change her position, it's that he knows professor isn't telling him the whole truth. he understands her stance on the environment and all that, but he's known her for so long that he knows she's not telling him the whole truth.

and the whole pregnancy scare comes as a surprise because professor and h are very serious when it comes to birth control. but there was just one early early morning where harry leaned over, still half asleep, and was just like, “need you so bad, baby. just this once please.”

and professor is just so floored when her period doesn't come because she pretty much knows the exact hour it's supposed to start. she panics of course, and harry comes home to see her pacing the floor and pregnancy tests all over the bathroom counter.

for a moment, there's a flicker of excitement and hope, but it winks out when he sees they're all negative.

“baby, i don't understand, they all say—”

“i know what they say! but something clearly isn't right! i can't believe this is happening to me, i can't believe you did this to me, this is why we never—”

now, harry knows how professor can be, but he also knows that this isn't entirely his fault. but he's still gentle when he says, “okay, okay, breathe my love. do you want to see a doctor?”

he's trying to be reasonable, but professor, who is always reasonable, absolutely cannot see reason right now. all she can think of is how unprepared she is and how much of a terrible mother she would be.

harry can obviously tell there's more going on, but she won't talk to him, and that's when he starts to get frustrated. he tells her everything, and there's clearly something she's not sharing, so now he's hurt.

so they fight, they say things they don't mean, then they go to their separate corners, which is difficult when her townhouse is fairly small.

but of course they only last about thirty minutes before they can't stand being mad at each other.

“we’re not broken up are we?” professor asks him. he's sitting on the couch and holding Faye Winter while she's standing a few feet away from him, nervously fiddling with her hands.

“no, of course not,” he tells her, still gentle because he knows she doesn't have much to go off of when it comes to relationships. “come sit?”

they talk things out, and she finally explains how insecure she is about the mere idea of being a mother because, “i mean, you've met my mom, so you know,” and “how could i possibly be a mother, harry? i would be awful. i don't want to put a kid through that.”

and of course harry thinks she's selling herself short, but that's a conversation for another time. so he just tells her he understands and thanks her for sharing so much with him.

“condoms from now on,” he says simply.

i'm not sure if they ever do have kids. if they adopt or have kids of their own or what, but i'd like to think that professor learns that just because she didn't have a good mom or wasn't raised they way she deserved, she still has the capacity to love and care for and be a good mom.

i'd love to hear your thoughts, tho!

#harry styles #harry styles x professor yn #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles fluff #harry styles writing

[leviathans-watching]

hello, darling! How are you? I love your writing, and I'm obsessed with your blog aesthetic as well! <3 take good care of yourself because you obviously deserve it from how hard you're working

my request is quite simple! please don't feel forced to write anything you don't want to, and feel free to ignore this if desired! I was listening to "My Girlfriend is a Witch" (October Country) and I thought to myself: the obey me brothers with an s/o who's a witch/sorcerer! I wasn't thinking about ALL characters (because my favorite is Lucifer), but feel free to actually include anyone you want! Thank you for your time and I appreciate the effort!

> if you desire something more specific: the MC would be a human exchange student like Solomon, using magic to some things and making potions, having also very good cooking, and admiring storytelling. Any trouble envolving dark magic among the brothers? MC can resolve it! Or at least try to help. Another witches are bothering Mammon again? MC will talk to them, since the witches in question are on their class anyways.

(also, may I be 🍓 anon? hehe <3)

lucifer x witch!mc

includes: lucifer x gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned)

wc: .5k | rated g | m.list

a/n: this was so cute!! i also have a longer series with sorcerer mc here! my inbox is open to chat, req, or leave feedback so come say hi!! and yes, you can absolutely be 🍓 anon hehe

please reblog <3

at first, lucifer hadn’t trusted you in the slightest. sure, he’d technically been the one to choose you as the new applicant, but he hadn’t actually looked at your application, something that was definitely coming back to bite him.

at least you weren’t part of the coven that mammon was entangled in, he had thought to himself, trying to look on the bright side, dim as it was.

slowly though, you grew on him. though some of your pursuits had ended poorly, like when you’d accidentally burned off your eyebrows making a potion, or had a spell go wrong and made everyone in rad only able to tell the truth, he began to feel more amused by them than irritated, a sure sign you were endearing yourself to him.

and some of your skills were quite helpful, he had to admit. when belphie had gotten sick with some form of rare illness, you’d saved the day by cooking up a remedy when even simeon and solomon were unable to. and some of your teas and herb mixtures were useful, not to mention delicious.

now, lucifer mused, he was completely head over heels for you. sure, there were still things that you did that gone on his nerves, or thins you said that he didn’t fully agree with, but you truly were one of a kind and now incredibly important to him. plus, your sense of humor was amusing, even if he’d never admit it.

(for halloween you’d decided to dress up as a classic witch, complete with a black hat and broomstick. somehow, he’d been convinced to join you as a vampire, and diavolo had been a werewolf. it was silly and lowbrow, but he had one of the pictures saved as his phone background.)

“what are you thinking so hard about?” you ask him, drawing him back to the present. a grimoire is open in front of you, and he can see your chicken-scratch handwriting in the margins.

“you,” he replies simply, and you make a face.

“what about me?”

“i didn’t really like you when we first met,” he confesses, “so it’s quite strange how much that has changed.”

“you know, i get that a lot,” you reply, unbothered. “a lot of people find me irritating.”

“i cannot fathom why.”

“oh, shut it,” you chide light-heartedly. “if you keep going i might have to curse you or something.”

the threat, which you used often, was empty, something you both knew. “right,” lucifer says, giving you a smile. “well, we don’t want that. i’ll be on my best behavior from now on, i swear.”

leviathans-watching's work - please do not copy, repost, or claim as your own

#obey me #obey me game #obey me shall we date #shall we date obey me #obey x you #obey me x reader #obey me x gn!reader #lucifer obey me #obey me lucifer #lucifer om #om lucifer #lucifer avatar of pride #lucifer x you #lucifer x reader #lucifer x mc #lucifer x y/n #lucifer x gn!reader #🍓.anon #answered asks #leviswriting #leviswriting-obeyme

[adleryoung]

It looks like you've asked more questions:

Ever think you might owe Zandar an apology?

For what??? For giving her chance after chance, and treating her infinitely better than she deserves? I don't regret any of that. Perhaps I should, but it simply takes too much effort to harbor malice toward her.

You still haven't explained about the baby stew.

I'm getting to that! Fuma's sakes, you lowfolk are impatient! A good story, like a good stew, cannot be rushed. It must be slowly simmered, and then savored when it's cooked to perfection.

Are you still rich & single? Any allergies or weaknesses to poison?

All right. Question time is over. Let's get back to the story.

I believe I left off just before our daughter was born. It went smoothly as far as I could tell, but Zandar was exhausted from her travail, and fell asleep. As I sat there thinking, I came to the conclusions I mentioned earlier, namely that neither of us were fit parents for a little elflet (Zandar least of all!) so I picked up the child and used a bit of Gramarye to make sure Zandar would stay asleep until I returned.

I would have to hide the Princess someplace where Zandar would never find her, and I had an excellent idea where that would be. They were even expecting a baby right around this time! It would be perfect! I set out toward the O'Dor residence on a Top Secret mission, accompanied by only one Ixie.

"Continuing the old Changeling tradition then, sir?" she asked me.

"You know about that?"

"It's in the stories," she replied. "I wonder though, when they come of age, how do they know they're elves? Is it some sort of instinct?"

"No," I explained. "Someone is supposed to come and fetch them … or at the very least, tell them where they need to go. I'll be watching over my daughter from the shadows, to make sure she grows up safe and doesn't fall in with a bad crowd. It won't do to have the Princess of Faerie associating with riff-raff, writers, artists, musicians, and other worthless idlers."

"It will require constant vigilance," the Ixie observed.

As I approached the O'dor household in the middle of the night, I couldn't help but sigh as I thought of Vernier. "She ended up marrying another lowfolk," I muttered bitterly. "Even though she confessed that she had feelings for me."

"You mean old Mama Vernier?" the Ixie surmised. "Angela Weakflit told us that sad tale. The reason Vernier never yielded to your desire is because she knew about the curse that befalls all elves who fall in love with lowfolk."

"She did?" I demanded. "How did she find out? Why didn't she ever say anything?"

"It's in the old ballads," the Ixie shrugged. "She probably never said because she wanted to save your feelings, or maybe she knew you'd try to talk her out of it."

That seemed like Vernier. I mulled this over in silence as we walked toward the O'Dor residence. When we finally arrived, I was surprised to see the place still lit up despite the late hour. I could hear a man talking and a femme in obvious distress. I crept into the bushes beneath the window to listen to their conversation.

"Again, Seamus?" Mrs. O'Dor sobbed. "How could it happen again? I was careful! I took no liquor, ate plenty o' potatoes, an' did no heavy liftin' but she came early anyway."

"Tis not your fault, Mary," Seamus O'Dor answered, clearly struggling to seem calm. "Sure an' ye did everything roight."

"Then why?" Mary wailed.

"Fuma's ways are mysterious," Seamus sighed. I was pleased to note that Mephitism had gained a strong foothold in this district, as opposed to the nonsensical cult that the rabbits of Bunkirk followed. "Mayhap it's the Lady's will that we not have children."

Ridiculous! I frowned. Childlessness was never Fuma's will! These lowfolk may have been nominally Mephitist but they obviously still had a lot to learn.

"Twice is enough, macushla," Seamus murmured soothingly over Mary's muffled sobbing. "We daren't try again. Doctor says it'll imperil your health, bedad."

At that moment I made a decision. These were the descendants of one of the only people who was ever genuinely kind to me, and I had the power to mitigate their misfortune. I magicked up a basket and put my precious daughter in it, and I wrote a note:

"I once knew a very kind but unlucky femme named Vernier. She did me a great service once and helped me when I had given up hope. I owe her a wish which she never claimed. Since Vernier now rests in her grave, the wish goes to her descendant. Tonight the debt is finally paid. I shall take away the burden of your sorrow, and leave my own precious daughter in exchange for the child you have lost. Treat her with love and kindness, as if she were your own, just like Vernier would have done. Signed, the King of the Elves."

With a mix of emotions, I placed the basket on the doorstep. I knocked on the door and quickly pooked away into the darkness. I lingered long enough to observe that the note was read and the basket was taken into the house. Then I turned, and my Ixie and I headed for home.

Dropping off Changelings was strenuous work! I decided that when I returned to the palace, I would greet Zandar as she awoke with a fresh pot of delicious stew. That would surely soften the blow of informing her that I had traded our child for one that was already dead, essentially getting nothing at all out of the deal … but it had been the right thing to do!

#furry #adventure #story #plot #cartoon #elf #tboay

[aebi12]

"Sinful Desires" - Chapter 26

Sleep eludes her that night.

As Aegon—and apparently Aemond as well—sleep peacefully, Alyssa can't stop thinking about her idea of leaving the kingdom and flying to Pentos.

Had it been madness to propose such thing to the prince? Had it been terribly selfish on her part? Probably yes, but that's not what takes away her sleep. Alicent and Aegon had forged their destiny, whatever it might be.

The children, however, were going to grow up away from everything that their family had built for generations, from everything that was theirs by right, from their family history, their native country. Alyssa couldn't help but wonder what her mother would think of her idea of taking her youngest son away from Westeros.

"You cannot sleep?"

Aemond's voice is barely a whisper. Alyssa looks down at him and shakes her head. The prince sighs, throws back the covers and sits against the headboard of the bed.

“I am sorry, I did not mean to wake you,” she says as he clasps their hands together.

“I've been up a long time,” he admits, stroking his thumb over her hand, “What are you so anxious about?”

The thought of leaving it all behind, she says in her mind.

“I was only thinking about what awaits us in the future”

“Mmm,” he watches her closely, “Are you second-guessing your idea of us living in Pentos?”

“No,” she replies instantly, though her voice doesn't sound convinced, “Are you?”

Aemond takes a few seconds to reply, “I think we have to be careful about how we proceed. Pentos welcomed a Targaryen prince with open arms almost twenty years ago, but the situation in the free cities is often volatile, we must be smart and not cut our ties here in case we need to return."

"You plan to tell your brother and mother about our intention to live in Pentos"

“We can't just ride my dragon and run away,” he sighs, “Aegon may have no intention of naming his daughter as his heir, but I do not think he'll take kindly to us taking her away without telling him.”

“And if he opposes the idea?” question, distressed

"I do not think so," he assures her as he kisses her hand, "I am sure we will face opposition from my mother’s side though," at the mention of Alicent, Alyssa feels the familiar wave of anger and pain run through her body, but he doesn't seem to notice, "In a couple of days there will be a council meeting, I will use the occasion to inform them of our decision"

A couple of days. That is more than Alyssa would like to stay in the Keep, but she knows Aemond is right. Nothing assures them that they will be welcome on Pentos, and they cannot simply drift away, unable to offer an established home for the little ones.

“I was thinking tonight,” Aemond says suddenly, and Alyssa looks at him, “your proposal reminded me of the time I considered riding Vhagar and taking you across the sea with me.”

"When was that?"

“Before my father died,” he replies with a smirk, “When you had barely returned to Dragonstone after our first night together. Helplessness and frustration were consuming me, it hadn't been easy to get away from you that morning, to abandon you while you were still sleeping... and I wasn't going to simply accept that you would eventually marry some other lord, so a possible escape together to one of the free cities crossed my mind, although I quickly gave up on the idea”

"Why?" she asks, surprised at his words

“Because the idea of condemning you to a life on the run was repulsive to me. It would have been unworthy of you, of both of us. You deserved more," he replies, moving closer to her body and bringing his free hand to her cheek.

"Do you think that's what we are doing now?" she asks quietly, “Run away?”

“I think we've earned our peace,” he says as he hugs her and joins their foreheads, "And if your tranquility is far from this palace, on the other side of the sea, then you will have that"

Alyssa smiles and presses their lips together. The kiss is soft, her thin lips take his delicately and his hands go to her waist, placing her astride him. Alyssa moves against him and Aemond sighs against her lips, but when she starts kissing his neck, he stops her.

"Aegon can wake up at any moment," he whispers, directing his gaze to the small bed at the other end of the room.

"You are right, I am sorry," she nods.

“Come here,” he smirks and lays her down on the bed once more, hugging her body and playing with her hair, “We should try to sleep, there are still a couple of hours until dawn”

“Uhum,” she buries her face into his chest and closes her eyes, finally feeling the sleep come to her.

***

"Can we fly today?" Aegon glances at his cousin for an instant before turning to Jaehaera, “Would you like to fly with us? It is fun"

The four are having breakfast in one of the rooms of Maegor's holdfast. Alyssa watches her niece, who still seems to be getting used to Aegon's presence, expectantly.

"Can we, uncle Aemond?" she asks with a shy smile directed at the prince

Alyssa knows that even if Aemond had wanted to refuse, he couldn't say no to Jaehaera's longing expression.

"Fine, but just for a short while"

The children smile at his response, and Alyssa pats Aemond's hand.

“Do you want to come fly with us?”

"No, thanks"

“I thought you didn't want to get them out of your sight,” he replies mockingly.

“I think they'll be safe with you,” she rolls her eyes and finishes her apple. It will be good for her to have some alone time. She has a lot to think about, decisions to make, and unfinished business to take care of.

"I forgot to mention to you yesterday that I will have to go to Dragonstone before our trip."

"Why?" Alyssa looks up at him.

“My brother wants a dragon egg. Apparently Syrax left a clutch before leaving the island."

His response angers her, and the idea of Aegon having one of the dragon's eggs tied to her mother dislikes her.

"Does the idea bother you?" wants to know Aemond

"Yeah," she admits with a nod, "it's not…I don't want him to have anything from my mother."

“There is no guarantee that the egg will hatch,” the prince replies, “My brother is an adult and there has been no record of a rider bonding with two dragons. He hopes it works, of course, but the egg will most likely end up just being a decorative item in the palace."

Alyssa tilts her face and sighs, “It could happen. My cousin Rhaena's dragon hatched in the Vale and we could hardly call her a little girl."

Aemond sighs as well, "I was hoping I could find a couple of eggs for Aegon and Jaehaera as well"

The princess doesn't know what to think about the idea. She knows it's natural for them to have a dragon, but right now she associated dragons as a big part of her family's downfall. The creatures had caused too much destruction and instead of uniting them, they had only served as weapons of war to destroy each other. She didn't want for that to eventually happen to the children.

“It's part of who we are,” Aemond says, sensing her doubts, “Every Targaryen has the right to have a dragon egg. Your brother and my niece should not be the exception”

"I know, but…" she doesn't quite know what to say. In the end, she thinks, it doesn't matter. As Aemond had said the eggs could never hatch. Theirs hadn't, "Go, go to the island and get what your brother wants."

Aemond nods, then leads the excited children to the usual meeting point with Vhagar.

***

Alyssa clings to her cloak as she strolls through the godswood. It hasn't snowed yet in the capital and the morning isn't so cold, but even so the wind blows mercenary causing the sparse weirwood leaves that are still on the ground to move in a small whirlwind.

“I always marvel at how resilient malvaelis are”

Alyssa jumps when she suddenly hears a voice, and turns immediately to find the figure of Lord Larys.

"I am sorry, princess, I didn't mean to scare you," says the man with the beginning of a nasty smile on his lips.

"Lord Larys," she greets, nodding and involuntarily taking a couple of steps back as she remembers everything Talya has told her about the man, "Don't worry, I was just surprised to find you here."

“It seemed like an appropriate morning for a walk around the castle”

Alyssa nods again, but she doesn't say anything.

“I heard that you spent time in Harrenhal while Prince Aemond recovered from his injuries,” he continues, “I imagine you felt at home living there.”

The hints of his comment annoy her, but she refrains from responding and instead says only, "Harrenhal provided us with the shelter we needed, yes."

"Yes, yes, of course," Larys smiles again and Alyssa decides that she has had enough of his presence so she is about to leave, but the man speaks again, "They are from Braavos, did you know?"

"What?"

“Malvaelis,” Larys points to a red-flowered bush that stands tall despite the inauspicious weather, “They come from Braavos.”

"I didn't know"

"Have you ever been to the free cities, princess?"

“Never,” she replies, frowning, wondering where the man is getting at with his nonsense comments.

“No, of course not,” Larys smiles again, “I hear the winters aren't half as bad as they are here. What a blessing it must be to be able to live in such a pleasant climate”

“You hear a lot of things,” Alyssa replies with a sigh.

"That's right, princess, it could be said that it is my job"

A roar then echoes over the fortress and Vhagar's silhouette looms over it. Alyssa looks up and smiles at thinking how much fun Aemond and the kids must be having right now.

"Magnificent creatures the dragons," Larys also gazed at the sky for a moment before turning his gaze to Alyssa, "A shame what happened in the dragon pit."

“A tragedy in every sense, yes,” Alyssa agrees.

“But also, an opportunity for reflection, don't you think? It gives us the occasion to think about the damage that a badly influenced and angry crowd can cause”

"I guess so," Alyssa suddenly feels anxious without knowing why and she clasps her hands behind her back so the man doesn't notice how shaky they are, "I should…"

"You managed to escape during the riots, princess"

"I did"

"Perhaps the idea of doing it again seems appealing to you"

"Doing what again exactly?"

“To… how did you say? Ah yes, seek shelter once more, maybe across the sea… Braavos or Pentos perhaps?” Alyssa pales. The princess opens her mouth once to reply, but she doesn't know what to say. Larys doesn't seem to be waiting for an answer, as he continues talking, “Your mother was also a fan of simply running away from her problems. But I think that, just like she did, you will discover that the consequences of our actions and decisions can easily follow us even beyond the sea”

"Lord Larys I don't know..."

Once again, she is speechless. The man is clearly referring to her idea of leaving the castle, but how had he found out? She was sure Aemond hadn't told anyone about their decision yet, how come Lord Larys already knew? And more importantly, was he threatening her by saying that she would have to deal with the consequences if she moved across the sea?

Larys Strong fixes his sly gaze on the princess and trudges over to where she is. For a brief moment Alyssa thinks she's going to be attacked, but then the man takes something from the pocket of his cloak and places it in her hand.

A peach.

He must notice her strange look because he says, " “I heard peaches are your little brother's favorite”

And without adding more he leaves a stunned Alyssa standing under the weirwood.

***

Alyssa heads toward the dungeons walking purposefully.

Surely Talya was behind this. Surely, she had spoken with Larys Strong, surely she had told him that the princess is now aware of his crimes and that was why the man was threatening her. There could be no other explanation.

"Do you work for him now?" she asks when the jailer shows her the maid's cell

"Princess?"

Talya's silhouette appears before her and Alyssa turns her face to the side at noticing how badly injured and sick she appears.

"Larys Strong, do you work for him now?"

“No, of course not, why…”

"He's threatening me. And he knows things…things that only the prince and I knew about. It was you, right? You told him that now I know about his transgressions and that I am a problem for him."

Talya shakes her head, “You know he has spies everywhere,” she says in a tired, drawled voice.

“This is different,” Alyssa looks back at Talya, “He's never been openly hostile and now…”

“Lord Larys probably seeks to torment and poison your mind,” Alyssa shudders at her words. “He is an ally of the queen. Whatever game he is playing, the Queen Mother must also know about it, I assure you."

Game. For them it might be a game, but for her it was turning into a nightmare. Alyssa looks away from Talya and walks away from her as well. She shouldn't have gone looking for her. The woman was no longer someone she could trust.

The problem is that she doesn't have anyone else in the Fortress. No one to talk to, no one to guide her. And she can't trust Aemond with this because she would have to tell him the truth about his mother and…

Alyssa leaves the dungeon as quickly as she arrived. She has to remain calm. She has to put the damned words of Larys Strong aside, and think about what she would do next. In a couple of days, she would be gone from this place and then…then everything would be fine. No matter what the man said, they were going to be fine on Pentos. They couldn't hurt her or her brother from so far away, could they?

Daemon had been thousands of miles away from the Red Keep, and managed to assassinate your nephew, says that voice in her head, what assures you that the same thing won't happen to you or your brother?

The children's giggles reach her as she stands near the playroom. Alyssa feels the relief wash over her body and a smile spreads on her lips when she sees them sitting at a small table, having lunch happily.

“Alyssa,” Jaehaera smiles at her as she sees her walk in.

The young woman approaches them and sits on a cushion between the two children, "Did you enjoy your fly?"

“Very much,” the girl nods.

“It was amazing,” Aegon begins to speak in his usual animated tone of voice, “My cousin flew Vhagar until…”

Alyssa is disengaged from her brother's story when she notices one of the fruit bowls.

"Where did you get this from?" she asks interrupting the boy and looking at the maid

“Princess, what do you…?”

“Who brought these peaches here? Where did you get them from?” Alyssa stands up quickly and glares at the maid, "Speak!"

"From... from the kitchen, they brought them from the kitchen"

"Who sent this? Has the prince eaten the peaches?”

Alyssa turns to Aegon, who looks at her in wide-eyed astonishment, not quite understanding the situation. Did he seem sick? Was he pale or was it just her idea? Did the peaches have any poison? “Aegon, did you eat the peaches? Have you tried them?" Her eyes flick to the plate that doesn't seem to have been touched, but… “Answer me Aegon!”

The boy pouts and appears to be about to cry.

“No, princess, the prince hasn't eaten the peaches yet,” Daysi chimes in.

There is a brief moment of relief in Alyssa's body, so she looks at the young maid for confirmation, “Are you sure? Are you absolutely sure?"

“I am, my lady, he…”

“Someone gave you the peaches? Did someone else bring them?”

“No, I myself went to the kitchen to look for them. The cook said they had arrived this morning and it was almost a miracle to get them in this weather, so I thought…”

Alyssa doesn't need to listen anymore. Her hands fly to the plate still on the table and she tosses it across the room, the contents scattering everywhere and the clang of metal echoing and making Jaehaera jump.

"No more. No more peaches in here."

"I wanted to eat them!" Aegon protests tearfully.

"NO! No more peaches until…”

"I want my peaches," Aegon continues crying harder and standing up, "They were mine!"

"Aegon, enough, you don't understand, but... it's for your own good and..."

Alyssa shuts up. It doesn't make sense to continue. Aegon isn't listening to her and her words only make him cry harder.

“My brother is forbidden to eat peaches,” she turns to Daysi. The young woman nods quickly and does not dispute her words, "He must not... he must not eat anything strange or anything different"

Alyssa is aware that her words sound ridiculous, but she doesn't care. She has to keep him safe. She has to protect him.

Aegon's cries intensify and she sighs. "Aegon, please, I don't want…" the princess tries to hug her brother, but he pulls away from her. Alyssa feels her eyes water and turns her back on them, leaving Daysi to take care of the crying boy.

***

Alyssa doesn't get to sleep that night either.

Every time she closes her eyes, the slightest noise makes her suspect that at any moment they will receive an attack.

When Aemond shifts uneasily next to her, she decides to get out of bed. She doesn't want to disturb the prince's sleep and wake him up, so she goes to the other side of the room and pulls up a chair next to Aegon's bed.

It had taken a lot to calm the little one down after his lunch tantrum. The rest of the afternoon he had spent it playing with Jaehaera and without speaking to his sister, he had not even given her the customary goodnight kiss. Alyssa knew that perhaps she had overreacted, but after her talk with Larys Strong, it was better to be careful. Nothing assured her that a plan to get rid of her brother was not in motion.

Alyssa gently strokes Aegon's silver hair and watches the sleeping boy cradling the dragon egg Aemond had brought back that night. The prince had obtained three eggs and had given one to his brother and left the other two with his nephews. Aegon had been so excited at the prospect of having his own dragon that he hadn't talked about anything else over dinner.

“Forgive me, Aegon,” she whispers, her voice choked with tears fighting to leave her eyes, “I didn't mean to yell at you, I was just afraid. So, so afraid"

The little one moves in his dreams and sighs. Alyssa withdraws her hand and continues to watch him until the sun begins to rise on the horizon, which is when she decides to return to bed as she does not want Aemond to find her awake and question her about her restiveness.

When the young woman snuggles up next to the prince under the covers, she closes her eyes and lets herself be carried away by the extreme tiredness she feels.

***

His brother is carried on a litter to the council chamber and two men help him settle at the head of the table.

Despite the regal robes he wears and the ruby crown, Aegon's state remains pitiful. Aemond lowers his head as his hands shake when he tries to lift a glass of wine to his lips.

“Let's begin,” Alicent says after a few seconds of awkward silence, “Lord Larys, what is the situation in the city? Are the fights still happening?”

Aemond listens intently to the news of various riots that still occur from time to time among sections of Flea Bottom’s population who remain discontent by the lack of provisions as a result of the winter. Nothing to worry about, according to the master of whispers, just isolated situations that don’t mean real danger. When the news turns to the subject of war, they say nothing new, only that the northerners are getting closer to King's Landing and that Borros Baratheon is raising his army to meet them somewhere on the kingsroad.

“Once Baratheon finishes them off, I will marry one of his daughters,” Aegon announces.

There is a general murmur of approval among the members and Aemond refrains from rolling his eye, though he clears his throat and gets everyone's attention.

“Before we discuss such… auspicious news,” he says looking at his brother, “I think the two of us have something to share with the council”

Aegon smirks and drinks from his cup, "Oh yes, of course, we must solve the problem that my nephew's presence supposes."

“I proposed to the king,” Aemond continues, “that he should name Aegon the young as his heir and betroth him to Princess Jaehaera.”

The council members look at Aemond in open skepticism, and the prince is aware of how upset his mother looks next to him.

“An absurd idea,” the woman mutters.

"The king might still have heirs of his own," says Lord Corlys.

"I think it's a good idea"

To Aemond's astonishment, the comment comes from Tyland Lannister. The man, once handsome and proud, is now a shell of what he once was, still looking very thin and showing the aftermath of the torture he was subjected to by his half-sister.

"Lord Lannister?" Alicent looks at him in disbelief.

“Both children are the future of house Targaryen. Each one represents the warring factions. Uniting them would be a gesture of peace, a sign that we can move towards the future”

“That child is a threat,” Alicent replies, and Maester Runciter nods vehemently besides her, “There will be no peace until the traitors have been eliminated.”

Aemond slaps his hand on the table and his mother says no more, just fidgets with her seven-pointed star necklace.

“My brother Aemond,” says the king, “takes my nephew's safety very personally. I proposed making him a eunuch and allowing him to live at court,” Neither of the men say anything, but they cast uneasy glances at the king, “The alternative of sending him to the Wall was also proposed. You are my council. Talk”

“It's a… a rather touchy subject,” Larys Strong is the first to speak, “I personally think the idea of naming him your successor should be ruled out, my king. You have the right to have only your blood sitting on the iron throne."

A couple of lords agree with Larys, and though Corlys Velaryon proposes sending the boy under his guardianship to Driftmark, no one really considers his offer. After several minutes it becomes clear to Aemond that he will not find a solution with them and, above all, that most council members see little Aegon as the last inconvenience to be eliminated.

"Out everyone. I'll talk with my brother and mother alone,” he finally says when he tires of the men's incessant chatter.

Once the three are alone, Aemond turns to them.

“I was hoping we could come to a solution, but you leave me no choice,” he begins by saying. Alicent fixes her big brown eyes on him, “Alyssa and I will leave Westeros and settle in Pentos. And we will take the children with us."

His mother gasps and Aegon just laughs.

"You can't be serious," says the queen, "That's nonsense, how can you pretend to abandon your family?"

"I would hardly call that abandoning my family considering it is with my family that I intend to make the trip, mother"

Aegon laughs again and Alicent looks at him, exasperated, “Do something! Stop your brother from leaving the Fortress, make him desist from such a ridiculous idea” Aegon drinks from his cup again, ignoring his mother, “Are you aware that he wants to keep Jaehaera, your daughter, away from you?”

At the mention of the girl, Aegon looks to his mother, “I think it would be for the best. Nothing good awaits her in this place”

Alicent looks at her son in disbelief, then back at Aemond, “I told you,” she says reproachfully, her eyes watering, “I told you that girl was going to take you away from your family. And she has achieved it. You are going to leave us right now, on the brink of war when we need you the most."

Aemond looks at her coldly, “I fought a war for Aegon's right to be king. Now he is king, it is up to him to keep his throne”

"I can't believe it..." Alicent looks at him with pain in her eyes and approaches Aemond, placing her hands in his arms, "We need you, Aemond, there are still fights to fight and..."

"You may leave if you wish," Aegon cuts her off, "but you will after Helaena and Maelor's funeral."

Alicent stops caressing Aemond and the prince looks for his brother's gaze, "She hasn't been...?”

“We've been a bit short on dragons around here in case you forgot,” he replies bitterly, “Our sister needs you one last time. After that, leave if you want."

***

There is a note from Aemond on the bedside table explaining that he has gone to a council meeting and the children are with the nanny.

Alyssa hastily changes her clothes, ignoring the food the maids have left on the table so she can go find the children. Leaving the room, she realizes that it is much later than she imagined because the sun, although weak, is already shining high in the sky.

The young woman goes to the playroom, but she does not find the children there. Nor are they in the garden, training yards or kitchens. Alyssa's nails dig into her hands as time passes and she can’t find the little ones. Where could they have gone? And where is Aemond? Alyssa had looked for him in the council room, but it was already empty.

With her heart pounding and the feeling that something bad is about to happen, Alyssa returns to the playroom.

"Have the children returned?" she asks a maid who is cleaning the room

"Yes, princess, they are with Daisy in the gardens."

Alyssa nods and hurries to the gardens, where she discovers Daysi in the place that used to be a favorite of Helaena and her children.

"Finally!" she says half exasperated and half relieved, "I've looked all over the castle for them, where were you?"

"I'm sorry princess. The children got tired of playing in their room and Prince Aemond told us that it would be a good idea to take them to the beach”

"To the beach? You were outside the palace?" she asks, her heart pounding as she watches Jaehaera and Aegon run through the bushes, "I told you to keep them in the room."

“Princess, I thought…”

"The children are not to go anywhere without Aemond or I present, understand?" she says with a hard voice and frowning in the direction of the young woman

"As you order," Daisy curtsies.

Alyssa sighs and is about to apologize to Daisy for taking her frustration out on her when Jaehaera starts calling for Aegon.

"What's going on?" she asks, approaching the girl, "Where is Aegon?"

"I don't know," she shrugs, "we're playing hide-and-seek."

“He was here a second ago, I saw him…” Alyssa starts to approach the bushes, “Aegon! Aegon come here immediately!"

Her words get no response, so she turns back to the girl, “Was there anyone else? Did you see a man or was there anyone else here?” Jaehaera shakes her head and Alyssa stifles a groan as she walks into the garden calling for her brother.

“Aegon this is not funny,” she says in a choked voice, “Aegon!”

Daysi and Jaehaera are also calling him and Alyssa, desperate, is about to go find the guards when her brother's giggles are heard behind her.

 "I won!" says the boy excitedly, causing Jaehaera to also giggle.

But his joy has the opposite effect on Alyssa.

"Where were you?" she asks angrily as she approaches her brother and kneels before him, holding him for just an instant before placing her hands on his small shoulders, "Why didn't you answer my calls?"

"We are playing," he replies without faltering his smile.

"I know you were playing, but... something could have happened to you, don't you realize?" she says, shaking him by the shoulders, “Why didn't you answer me? I didn't stop calling you, you should have answered me"

"I don't…"

“Don't ever do something like that again, got it? Never again!" says shaking him again

Aegon goes perfectly still, and when Alyssa watches his expression, she sees the bewilderment and fear in his eyes. The girl immediately stands up and turns away from her brother, still feeling terribly scared and disgusted at herself for taking it out on her brother.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just wanted…” Alyssa turns to look at Daysi and Jaehaera, who are watching the scene in amazement, “To the play room. Game is over for today."

None of the children protest and Alyssa walks after them trying to contain the images that her mind had created in the brief seconds of her brother's absence and that continue to play in her head.

"Aemond!"

Aegon runs to his cousin, who is waiting for them in the room, and watches in obvious confusion as the boy throws himself into his arms and begins to cry. The prince meets Alyssa's gaze, but she refuses to look at him, suddenly embarrassed by her behavior earlier.

"She is mean to me," Aegon says, his voice choked with sobs.

"Aegon, please..." Alyssa starts, but the boy doesn't want to listen.

"No! You're bad and you hit me and…

"I didn't hit you!" she immediately cuts him off, “I admit I overstepped, but you worried me by not responding and…”

"What exactly happened?" Aemond intervenes

“Alyssa won't let me eat and she won't let me play,” the boy explains, “she is mean.”

"Stop saying I'm mean, I just want you to be safe!" she replies, exasperated and fed up with her brother's sobs.

Alyssa turns her back on them and tears roll down her face, although she doesn't know if it's because the situation overwhelms her or because a sudden headache explodes inside her.

She walks to the other side of the room and stops by the window. Aemond finds her with her eyes closed and still shedding silent tears several minutes later, when Aegon has calmed down. She widens her eyes as she feels the prince's thumbs cleaning her cheeks.

“I did not hit my little brother,” she says quietly.

“It never crossed my mind that you could have done it”

“But I did let my temper to guide me and I was very hard on him,” she admits feeling her blush stain her cheeks.

"What happened?"

Alyssa recounts the situation and, hearing her words, realizes how extreme her reaction had been. There had been nothing to fear and yet she had let fear guide her actions.

"And what did he mean when he said you don't let him eat?"

“That was…” she doubts if she should go ahead and let Aemond in on her conversation with Larys.

"What, Alyssa, what happened?" presses the prince, “There is something you are not telling me. I can tell there's something going on in your head and you won't tell me what it is,” she can hear the frustration and anger in his voice, “I've given you space because I know you need it, I know I can't make you trust me, but I thought there would be no more secrets between us"

“It's not that I don't trust you,” she rushes to say, trying to calm him down, “It's just…I'm tired, Aemond. I'm tired of what this place is doing to my mind. Since we arrived, I have been thinking that at any moment an assassin will appear to end Aegon's life. And that terrifies me. The idea of not being able to defend him paralyzes me and... and I'm just afraid. I see threats in every corner of this place.

“I can understand that you feel that way, but I don't think it's all. Even while we were in Harrenhal, I know something else was bothering you. You said you wanted to confirm some things. What are you not telling me?"

Aemond seems almost desperate and Alyssa knows that she has to tell him, that she will eventually have to tell him everything she knows about his mother and Larys Strong. But she doesn't feel ready yet for all that the revelation can bring with it. Her insecurities and fears are stronger than her resolve.

“I don't want to break your heart,” she answers almost in a whisper, her hand caressing the prince's cheek.

Aemond swallows and sighs, "Do you have any idea what that makes me think?"

Alyssa shakes her head and brings her lips closer to Aemond's, uniting them in a kiss that lasts only an instant, but is full of intensity. The girl hugs his body, and he seems to understand that she doesn’t want to keep talking about it, because she hears him sigh once more.

“We'll be leaving very soon,” he tells her, “My brother is already aware of our resolution. I only ask you to hold on a little longer, just a couple more days."

"Why? Haven't you already done everything Aegon wanted? Why can't we just leave?"

“Because of Helaena,” he answers with an exhalation. Alyssa pulls away from his embrace and looks at him blankly, "I have to be present for Helaena's funeral, Vhagar has to…" he shakes his head helplessly.

Alyssa's heart twists inside her. Helaena, her beloved Helaena. She hadn't considered that her body was still in the crypt, waiting to be fired like so many Targaryen before her.

Her eyes drift instinctively to Jaehaera, who is sitting next to Aegon, her small hand running up and down her little brother's arm, in a gesture that is meant to be reassuring and seems to be having an effect as the boy smiles affectionately at her.

“The funeral will be held in just a couple of days. Just a couple more days, my love, and we can start again."

***

Alyssa is already in bed when a soft knock on the door announces the presence of Daysi and Jaehaera.

"I'm sorry to bother you, my lady, but Princess Jaehaera insisted on talking to you."

“It’s okay, Daysi” she gives the nanny a brief smile and then stretches out her arms to call out to the girl, “Come, come here darling.”

Her niece walks over to the bed and climbs smoothly onto Alyssa's knees.

"What is it, you couldn't sleep?" she asks noticing that the girl is already wearing her nightgown

She shakes her head and hugs her body. Alyssa smiles against her hair and kisses the top of her head, relieved that Jaehaera is seeking her contact. For a moment she had been afraid to scare her with her outburst of last few days.

“Uncle Aemond said you're sick,” she says, breaking the hug.

“Yeah, I, uh…I'm not feeling too well,” she replies as she tucks a lock of silver hair that has escaped from the braid behind her ear.

The girl looks at her with her fathomless blue eyes and then places her hands on either side of her face.

“Mother was sick too.” Alyssa opens her mouth to reply, but she doesn't know what to say. "She left," the girl continues, and this time the princess is able to see the sorrow in the blue of her gaze, "Will you also leave?"

"No, of course not, why do you think that?" wants to know Alyssa, anxious for the girl's words

She shrugs and caresses her face, "You said you'd stay with me."

"And I will," she assures her, "I promise you, my little princess, I'll stay with you."

A few long seconds pass until she nods and whispers an I believe you that manages to melt her heart.

And as Jaehaera hugs her body again, seeking safety and comfort in her warmth, Alyssa realizes that this situation has to come to an end.

That she has to overcome her fears as she has done so many times, that she has to put aside her doubts and face the reality of the situation, a truth that she has known for a long time but that in her hopes of starting a new life in Pentos, she has eluded. Danger is everywhere. Larys Strong had told her so, and the events of the war had confirmed it over and over again.

Whether she flew to the ends of the earth with Aemond, to the North, or to any other part of the realm, nothing was going to change the fact that her life and that of her brother would continue to be a thorn in the side of their enemies' plans. And it is they who she must take care of.

Besides why would she have to run away? She hadn't done anything wrong. This was her home and she had the right to live in it without feeling threatened. The prospect of a better future for the children of her family was what had kept her from losing her sanity during the darkest and most pain-filled moments.

And she was very close to securing a better life for Aegon and Jaehaera.

And Alicent Hightower wasn't going to stop her. The woman had already taken enough from her, she wasn't going to take this too.

“I'll do whatever it takes to protect us,” she whispers against her niece's little body, “we'll be together and we'll be fine, I promise.”

~~~

The funeral of Helaena Targaryen and her son Maelor takes place at sunset.

The journey from the sept to the outskirts of the city where the cremation pyres are located is not long. The carriage once again has blue roses decorating it and Alyssa and the children—she had refused to let them alone in the Keep despite Alicent's complaints—are seated in a wooden carriage and flanked by Aemond, who rides forward.

The entire town gathers again to accompany their deceased queen. Their somber expressions and tears let Alyssa know that neither of them has forgotten the tragedy of their deaths.

This time, however, they are not silent. Men and women signal their support for Alicent, who stands ahead of them. Some also dedicate words of encouragement to Alyssa and Jaehaera, although they are not too many. For Aemond, however, there are only looks of suspicion and fear. And there is curiosity and whispers, many whispers when realizing the presence of the little Aegon.

Vhagar comes down the hill as the bodies are placed on the pyre and Aemond entwines his fingers with Alyssa's, clearly looking for the support he needs so he can command the dragoness.

The last few days sadness has haunted the prince. Aemond had spent most of the time in the castle, reading or simply training, and Alyssa had been able to see how much the idea of a funeral for his sister affected him.

The girl gives him a half smile, and he nods. Vhagar roars, opening his jaws and bathing Helaena and Maelor's bodies in dragonfire. Beside her, Jaehaera seems to whisper something to Aegon, though she can't make out the words. The children are holding hands today and her little brother has remained very solemn throughout. Alyssa can't help but wonder if he might be thinking of Rhaenyra. Aegon mentions her less and less often, as if he's gotten used to the idea that her mother won't be coming back.

They hadn't even had a funeral for her mother, she thinks bitterly as her gaze drifts to the fully enclosed carriage where she knows the king is traveling.

“Come on, it's time to go,” Aemond whispers in her ear as the crowd begins to thin.

Alyssa helps the children back to the wooden cart. Jaehaera keeps her gaze on the funeral pyre until they go far enough that she can no longer see it, then hugs her aunt. Aegon, who now rides along with Aemond, looks around curiously.

"Maybe you should get some rest," she proposes to the prince, noticing how grim his expression still looks.

"Hmm I don't think it's necessary"

“I can stay with the children,” she insists, “Go and relax a bit.”

Aemond ends up nodding and walks off in the direction of his room. Alyssa and the maids return to the playroom, where she spends the next hour reading to the kids and eating lemon cakes.

"Princess Alyssa." The girl stops her words immediately upon hearing Alicent's voice, "I'd like to talk to you for a moment."

Alyssa is tempted to decline her offer, but eventually closes the book, hands it to Daysi, and follows Alicent into the small sitting area across the room.

“I'm listening,” she says as her hands dig into her palms, this time from the suppressed rage she experiences at seeing the woman.

“I heard that you had ordered to punish and imprison Talya, what was the reason for doing that to one of the oldest servants in this family?”

Alyssa can't help but giggle in disbelief. Of all the possible topics of conversation that she had imagined Alicent would want to discuss with her, that had not crossed her mind.

“I had my reasons,” she replies

Alicent winces when it becomes clear that Alyssa isn't going to elaborate further, “You had no right to make such a decision. You are just a guest here, you have no authority to punish the servants as if…”

“And yet I did,” she interrupts her, “Why? It bothers you? Surely there are many other maids in the fortress who can fulfill her duties."

“Talya was one of my trusted servants”

“I don't doubt it,” she retorts, her voice thick with contempt, “considering you regularly sent her out to do your dirty work.”

Her words leave her mouth before she can stop them, but as she watches Alicent's face pale and her arrogance falter, she feels for an instant triumphant.

"Dirty work?"

"I think we both know very well what I'm talking about"

Alicent starts fidgeting with her necklace nervously and avoids the girl's gaze, "Princess, this has been a very hard day for everyone, we should probably…"

“No,” Alyssa hisses as she takes a couple of steps toward her, “Don't act like you don't understand what I mean. I am no longer ignorant of the damage you have caused me; do you have any idea how much you have hurt me?"

Alicent meets her gaze and Alyssa can notice the nervousness, fear and indifference at the same time, "You speak as if I were a monster"

“In my eyes you are,” she replies, “and also in the eyes of the gods you love to pray to so much.”

"Princess…"

“You have caused the death of two lives growing within me,” she continues, “Two. Two lives that were also part of Aemond, of your son."

There is a moment of silence in which both women look at each other and Alyssa has to contain her urge to react violently when she hears her next words, “They were bastards. Blood of bastards spilled during the war"

“Your own grandchildren, your own blood,” she says in disbelief.

“My son's misjudgment,” she shrugs and looks away momentarily, “It wasn't right, the two of you being together…it doesn't make sense. My son is a Targaryen prince, he deserves a decorous lady, not a girl who shares his bed regardless of the consequences and has no sense of decency," Alyssa wants to retort, but the woman continues, "You are aware of that as much as I. Why else would no one know about the losses you suffered? Why did you insist that it remain a secret? Because it was sinful and a shame! A shame for you, for him and for good customs. How long have you lain with my son without really being legally or spiritually bonded to him? How long have you been nothing more than a harlot to him?"

Alyssa reacts almost instinctively and slaps her across the face. Alicent is about to lose her balance, but she grabs onto one of the sofas and her breath hitches as she glares at Alyssa.

"I will not allow you to insult me again," the young woman replies, "I will not continue to remain silent in the face of your insults, your crimes, in front of the permanent damage you have caused me"

"Damage?" she laughs, “Blessing, more like. You see me as a monster, as a criminal, but I have not done more than take care of my son and even help you "

“How, according to you, has it helped me?” she asks amazed

"I made sure you're not a threat anymore, don't you see?" Alicent says, “Now that you're barren and unable to produce heirs, your blood and life are no problem. Your mother's supporters will not be able to use you as a piece in their machinations because you will have nothing to offer. Take this chance, this little mercy and run away. Go far, I can help you if you wish, I can get you a favorable marriage with a man who doesn't need more children. Save what little decency you have left and accept my offer."

"And do you think Aemond will accept something like this?" she questions feeling disgusted

"You overestimate my son's feelings towards you"

“And I think you do just the opposite,” she answers confidently, “You never accepted that Aemond and I love each other, that we've loved each other practically forever. Do you think our story began when I returned to the fortress? Our history was written since we were children”

"That is not true"

“You don’t even know your son,” Alyssa sighs, “You don’t know anything about him, you weren’t really there for him. You may have defended him when he lost his eye, but after? You placed on him the bitterness, resentment, and paranoia you felt. Aemond has always been more of an ally than a son to you, always taking care of you and your needs instead being the other way around"

"Nonsense"

"Is it?" Alyssa is suddenly invaded by a wave of sadness that joins the anger that still runs through her body, "You do not deserve the love that he feels for you or the loyalty that he has shown you"

“I love my son,” she says, shaking her head.

"If you loved him, you would not have taken away his possibility of being a father"

Alicent's brown eyes flash with fury and a smirk spreads across her face, “That's your burden, not his. My son will be a father one day. No man would bear not being able to leave a legacy, the time will come when he will get fed up with you and abandon you to go in search of what you will never be able to give him”

Alyssa is about to raise her arm once more when Aemond calls out to her. The princess clenches her hands into fists, her nails causing wounds that partly appease the fury she feels inside her.

Both women turn to look at the prince, who approaches them with a curious look in his good eye, one that is half wonder and half caution.

"I didn't know you were here, mother"

“I wanted to speak to the princess, we had unfinished business to discuss,” Alicent says.

Aemond watches Alyssa's expression and is surprised to see the hate in the girl's eyes and features. What had happened between the two of them? Had her mother been rude to her again? Before he can ask, Alyssa speaks.

"Indeed, your mother and I just had a most... enlightening talk."

There are a few seconds of silence in which Alicent looks at Alyssa warily, but when it's clear she won't say more, she turns to her son, “I'd like to have dinner with you and Jaehaera tonight. Bid a proper farewell to both of you."

Alyssa opens her mouth to strongly object to the idea, but the girl—who seems to have heard her name in the conversation—runs over to them and takes Alicent's hand.

“Grandma,” she says with a gentle smile.

Aemond meets Alyssa's gaze, who sighs and nods, “I'll stay with Aegon here,” she says, not daring to deny the little princess something she clearly wants.

***

Despite the fact that having dinner together was Alicent's idea, his mother seems terribly distracted as they eat a delicious pheasant in the queen's chambers.

"Are you okay, mother?"

“Yes, of course I am,” she offers him a brief smile and her gaze then drifts to Jaehaera, “My dearest love,” he hears her say in the way she called Helaena so many times, “do you like the food or would you rather eat something else?"

Ser Willis Fell enters the room and catches their attention.

"What is it, Ser Willis?" the queen wants to know

"I'm sorry, my queen, but the king requests the presence of Prince Aemond."

Mother and son exchange a brief glance before the young man leaves the room in the direction of the king's chambers, inwardly wondering what Aegon would want with him.

In the end it turns out that his brother, who still refuses to drink milk of the poppy and drowns his pain in wine, is only looking for his brother's company.

“You should listen to reasons, you could use a good night's sleep,” Aemond says, though he knows his words will have no effect. Aegon doesn't seem to really hear him, but instead he just fidgets and says words without any coherence, although once or twice the prince seems to hear the name of Helaena, his children and Sunfire's.

After long minutes, Aegon falls asleep and Aemond instructs a maid to help him and watch over his sleep while he returns to his mother's rooms.

Is when he’s already outside the chambers that he hears the sobs of his niece. Heart pounding, Aemond pushes open the door, but stops at the sound of his mother's voice.

"You have to do it!"

“No, I don't want to,” the girl immediately replies, crying again.

"You have to cut his throat while he sleeps, it is the only solution, kill the boy Aegon"

"He is my friend! I won't do it!"

There is a bit of a scuffling and a metal object falls to the ground. Aemond, who had been frozen at his mother's suggestion, wakes up from his trance and goes to Jaehaera, whose face is bathed in tears as she refuses to take the knife that Alicent wants to place in her hand.

"Mother!"

Aemond's voice echoes through the room and Jaehaera breaks free of her grandmother's grasp and runs towards her uncle. The prince takes her in his arms and strokes her hair, though her eye is focused on his mother, who doesn't seem embarrassed at being found out by her son.

“Ser Willis,” Aemond calls. The knight enters the room immediately, "Took my niece to Princess Alyssa."

The man bows and Jaehaera offers him her hand to leave the room. Once they are alone, Aemond walks over to his mother.

“Tell me that I didn't just hear you instruct Jaehaera to become a murderer,” he says hoarsely with the rage he feels at that moment, “Tell me that I misheard and that you didn't mean for your granddaughter to murder her own cousin.”

Alicent winces and her hands fidget, her nails hurting her fingers once more. Aemond notices this, as he has so many times, but for the first time he doesn't empathize with his mother's pain.

"That child must be eliminated"

“And you wanted my niece to take care of it?” he hisses taking her arm, “Have you lost your mind?”

"My son, I don't..."

"You have gone too far, mother." He shakes his head, “I'll admit I had my doubts about leaving King’s Landing, but after listening to you, I know I have no choice. I won't let you poison Jaehaera's mind like you did ours when we were kids."

"Aemond! How can you say such a thing?"

"Isn't that what you did?" He lets go of her arm and takes a few steps back, "You instilled in us contempt for our nephews as children, you made us grow up in fear that something would happen to us if Rhaenyra became queen."

"And it happened, I never told lies"

“We also had our share of blame in that regard,” the prince ruefully admits.

“Aemond, please, you have to…”

“No, mother, your paranoia seems to know no limits. I will not let Jaehaera inherit the unfounded fears you have for a child,” he retorts harshly, “do you think Helaena would have wanted that for her daughter?”

“And do you think that she would want for her only daughter to be taken to the other side of the sea? Away from her family? And for what? So that girl you insist on having as your mistress can play at being a mother since she will never be able to give you a child of her own?”

“That doesn't have…” Aemond stops short as he registers his mother's final words, “How do you know?”

"What?"

"How do you know that Alyssa won't be able to give me children?" His mother's face pales, and she averts his gaze for a moment. "Mother, how do you know that Alyssa won't be able to have children?" repeat Aemond

"I didn't... surely you told me"

"No. I haven't told anyone,” he replies, suspicion growing inside him, “Have you been spying on my conversations with Alyssa?”

"Don't talk nonsense, why would she do something like that?"

Yeah, why would his mother do something like that? He wonders. And he answers himself: because his mother had never accepted his relationship with the princess, because she was firmly opposed to their getting married, because his mother was very capable -as he had discovered a moment ago- of ensuring that a union between the two of them did not prosper.

His mind then recalls the queen's words when Aegon had suggested that he and Alyssa could give him an heir. I'd like to see how she pulls it off, Alicent had said, sneering. And he had dismissed her words.

Suddenly everything fits in his head. The look of deep hatred that Alyssa, who had always tried to get along with the queen, had given her mother a while ago. The fear that she felt that something bad would happen and that he had attributed to simple paranoia, but that now seemed to take on another meaning.

And, above all, it explained her words from a few days ago.

I don’t want to break your heart.

Because she knew how much Aemond loved her mother.

Or he had loved her, until this moment.

"What did you do to Alyssa?" he asks, cutting the distance between them

"I did what I had to do to protect you"

“You're a…” he whispers, but he keeps his words to him. Though he can't keep his hands from closing briefly on her throat, "You are despicable."

Alicent writhes under the pressure of his hands and he releases her.

"Aemond, please..."

He doesn't let it get close to him.

"Guards!" he calls and a couple of men enter the room, "Arrest the queen"

__________________________________________________

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42996300/chapters/108031281

#aemond targaryen #aemond one eye #aemond x oc #ao3fic #prince aemond #sinfuldesires #aemond kinslayer #aemond fic #ao3 writer #sinful desires

[sisterdragonwithfeathers]

[originally in answer to an anon ask, which was unfortunately lost in the drafting process. I am so sorry Anon! I hope you still find this, somehow]

{in summary, Anon respectfully asked me why I believed that LGBT+ pride was wrong, expressing that they were part of that community as well as a fellow believer and that they viewed LGBT+ pride as a positive reaction to and celebration of how God made them, as well as a support for their ostracized community}

{take this with a grain of salt, I cannot perfectly remember their wording}

~

Hey! Sorry this took me so long to answer. I felt like I had to have the time to give it the thought it deserved.

I really appreciate your willingness to have a peaceful discussion over disagreement. That's counter-cultural right now, but really important.

I do believe that LGBT+ Pride is a political/social agenda, but in the context of this conversation (between two believers in God if I have understood you), I think it is more important that it is a sin.

Not specifically the feeling of pride itself (I don't like to get too semantic about that word personally), but specifically the actions of being bisexual, homosexual, or transgender.

You will note I say actions: temptations are not sins (Hebrews 4:15, Jesus is sinless, yet was tempted).

Attraction to the same sex is not a sin; being insecure in one's identity as a male or female is not a sin. Acting inappropriately on those feelings or desires, however, is a sin. This includes entertaining sinful thoughts. (for example, being attracted to someone you are not married to is not a sin, but dwelling on that attraction and letting it become lust or emotional unfaithfulness to one's spouse is (Matthew 5:27-28). Anger is not inherently a sin, but dwelling on and holding on to anger is (Ephesians 4:26-27) , even if you never physically act on it (Matthew 5:21-24).

I think "pride" in general usage is neither good nor bad. It simply means to be happy or satisfied with something/someone. The Bible condemns pride when it is centered in selfishness, confidence in ourselves alone, but, as you implied in your ask, it is good to be proud of what we are given/made to be by God (2 Corinthians 1:12-14; Philippians 1:25-26; Romans 15:17-19; 2 Corinthians 5:11-12).

I am proud of the person God has made me into since I became a christian. I am proud to be a fellow heir with Christ, sanctified "by the washing of water" to be part of His church.

I am proud of being a woman, as God made me, with all the physical and spiritual and mental gifts and responsibilities which come along with that.

You are right. In being proud of these gifts He has given, acknowledging His work, His craftsmanship, I glorify God. God intends this.

and here we come to the crux of our disagreement: I do not believe that God made anyone "queer".

He absolutely made you and loves you and you are a human with a soul created in His image no matter what you choose, but I do not believe that God intends anyone to be (actively) homosexual or transgender or "queer", any more than He intends anyone to be (actively) alcoholic or vengeful or suicidal and depressed.

We may be (definitely are) born with a tendency toward certain temptations, a natural weakness against certain sins, but that is due to the fallen world. Our bodies, our minds, betray us. The flesh is at war with the Spirit (Romans 7:22-25; Galatians 6:8; look there's a lot of texts about this, here's a search list for "spirit" and "flesh" in the New Testament, which aren't all relevant, but it's a good place to start)

God will not allow any temptation to overtake us that He will not enable us to overcome (1 Corinthians 10:13). This does not mean that we do not stumble or struggle, or even (strangely enough! [to me at least]) that our tendencies to certain temptations do not in some ways define and shape us! (1 Corinthians 7 is...a lot. But, to the best of my current understanding, one of the takeaways we can get from specifically verses 7-9, is that some people have the gift to remain single [and thus celibate], and some do not, and the difference is whether or not that is a significant temptation for them. And neither option is morally more correct! It just depends! Fascinating. Lot more could be said about that. I'm not going to say it.)

Anyway. To make a long point short, I believe that God has made it very clear that every active LGBT+ lifestyle is sinful (I have specific passages for this, but that feels larger than the scope of this already lengthy ask). Regardless of our besetting temptations, God will make it possible for us to live according to His will for us. And once we have accepted Him by obeying the gospel, we are covered in the blood of Christ, which will continually cleanse us from our sins (1 John 1:7) (even those we continue to fall prey to, despite ourselves, after we have accepted Him)(Romans 7:14-25).

Finally, I know we are fellow believers. I hope dearly that we are also sisters. I pray that you have and maintain, or else find, full confidence in your salvation and assurance in the blood of Christ which covers all the faithful (1 Peter 3:21-22; 2 Peter 1; Galatians 3:26-27; Acts 2:37-39)

And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve [discover, distinguish] the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless [for] until the day of Christ; - Philippians 1:9-10

If you want to have any more discussion and/or on any of the points I've made, or more scriptures that I have not included here for brevity, or if you have a counter-argument from the scriptures, please do ask or even personally message me! We are both pursuing greater knowledge of God's word. Let us learn together.

Peace to you also, sister. May God bless you in your pursuit of truth.

#asks and answers #<- it was supposed to be anyway #I knew it would take me a long time and I was right #this got so long #here's to you #respectful anon

[onewomancitadel]

I have received news from the front (Twitter discourse) that talking about abstract characters 'deserving' xyz given narrative outcome as a given consequence of thematic intentions and not just simply what a character should flatly 'deserve' emotionally is apparently 'anti-empathy'; the spirit of the original criticism was to reject overly punitive approaches to characters through narrow moral reasoning and to consider their higher emotional purpose (and character needs), which I find an ironic criticism. I don't think the notion that characters 'deserving' something on the basis of narrative needs is actually anti-empathy at all - it doesn't preclude an emotional response to their arc, but you can't reason based on whether this character you really like should be rewarded just because you like them or punished just because you hate them. What feelings are elicited when things contrary to your deeper desires happen? What are the things that need to happen?

I think it's a little static sense of storytelling, too. It's not like characters stay one thing or another, and as they evolve over the story, and do the things they have to do, they evolve beyond your first impression. Maybe you think a villain doesn't 'deserve' redemption, and then you watch it evolve onscreen and come around to it. Maybe you can scarcely believe the corruption of the hero and find their fall painful. Maybe that's the point.

The point of discussing 'catharsis' in storytelling, and not just vindication, is that it encompasses a spectrum of emotion which acknowledges the transformative feeling of storytelling - that isn't just about whether it makes you feel good or not. That's one type, and sometimes, yes, you want that; sometimes that's hard-baked into the genre expectations or the flags we get about character or narrative stakes. That's the intelligible system of storytelling. But if a character's ending is disputed from what they deserved on an individual reader/viewer level, the story could be anything if it's divorced from the aims and intentions of the storyteller. Everybody lives and all the bad guys die. I mean, sometimes you need a story where everybody lives... there's always a time and a place.

Sometimes, though, I think people have lost the good art of longing. We're delivered such cynical endings in popular media cultural moment after moment, and denied the catharsis of real tragedy. I feel such pain and longing for Paul Atreides and the story he could never have, by design. It's very powerful, and it hurts a lot, but it's done successfully and in a way that I cannot deny it's the only appropriate story, for the world he's in and the purpose he serves. It's not a 'shock'; there is a terrible weight on him from the moment he's introduced. The gom jabbar is no mere task to be overcome but a demonstration of the pain he can bear. Literally. In two senses. (To bear, as in withstand, and to carry). It's a massive cast of gloom over his story.

Sure, I think we can get a little abstract with the whole 'narrative criticism' thing; storytelling is storytelling, and at its barest components we feel what we feel. That's the magic. But on the other hand, once fandom (and relatedly media) discourse begins playing the narrative criticism game to condemn naughty, naughty villains and the apologists who love them (or valiantly defend Characters Who Didn't Deserve to Die), you do actually need to start asking questions about what basis you can start saying who does and doesn't deserve to live or die or go to space jail, and start digging deeper into what ideas these characters service. It can seem mechanical, but only when you get too close and forget what it all serves, which is that higher purpose of the story proper. We can talk about absolute appropriateness not just in subjective feelings, but in that world the story inhabits. Maybe, sometimes, the unfairness is the point. *shrug*

I'm still reeling from this position being called 'anti-empathy' though. That's a new one. I think empathy is one part of the picture here, and probably something that people miss as much as they catch it. Lol.

#redemption arcs #narrative cynicism #naughty naughty villains and the apologists who love them #I just wanted to use the Doctor Who .gif it's my favourite #just this once everybody lives 🥰 glimmer in the dark