#we didnt know when the last day was for these video projects to be presented so we said apr 28

[sinnaminttoast]

Project Meridian- explanation about Marcus Part 1?

This is for the people who want to be in the know of who Marcus is and how he impacted PM without listening to his audios. I made the ultimate sacrifice and I watched his videos a long time ago. I still remember his ass very well.

If you’re not aware of Project Meridian, I highly recommend watching James’s videos where he explains everything. James + Anton do not contain Marcus. Brian also does not contain Marcus but the Android is still under the love code at that point.

I will not be spoiling anything beyond the confrontation between Marcus and James. That is for you guys to go listen to!

Heavy TW! Marcus’s storyline is a bit dark as the Android begins to descend into their obsession. There are discussions of manipulation such as guilt-tripping, dubious consent, non consensual touch, abusive/harmful acts done to the listener, references to exploitation, and objectification. I will vaguely be going over these things.

Again, I’m writing this post to go over the more more important parts of what you need to know about Marcus’s storyline. I won’t go into heavy details about anything beyond that. I’m here to discus how he impacted the storyline so everyone understands who he is and why he’s disliked.

Project Meridian is a series done and recorded by Redacted Audio. I highly recommend you guys check it out.

So, let’s begin!

Project Meridian actually started with Marcus. James’s Past/Present video is the first in the playlist but it all starts with Marcus, who we’re introduced to as the Nervous Technician. The listener is also an Android in this series.

First video summarized [dubious consent]

•Marcus comes to talk to us and asks the usual questions about how the updates are affecting us. Normal questions of what technicians would ask. He says he is our lead social protocol engineer.

He says he heard us make some comments regarding other protocol needs. He says that we put value on the work we’ve been doing together. That it’s validating that we care so much about him.

Long story short, many of the other technicians have commented on how we apparently only want to work with just Marcus.

He asks us if we find our behavior to be obsessive and unhealthy. To which we tell him that we do not care about what others believe.

He then confesses something to us,

“I haven’t—-I haven’t been completely honest with you. When I was designing your social protocols, I…I lost my objectivity. It’s what we humans do, right?”

“I was in a bad place in my life. I was alone and heartbroken and frustrated…and I took everyone of those feelings into work each day. I keyed them into every line of code I wrote for you.” “…I wanted someone…anyone to understand me.. “…So I built that in you.”

Marcus explains that he was in a terrible head space and he took this baggage to work. He let those dark thoughts influence his choices and we’re coded to care about him. He said he’s not sure what he was hoping for.

He expresses his regrets and says he wants to fix us. He asks us to give him access to our tier one social protocols and we tell him no.

Android kisses Marcus and he gives in to them. The video ends with these quotes.

“Oh god, I’ve thought about this every day. Since we’ve activated you…” “…I’m gonna burn for what I did to you, but damn if it isn’t gonna feel good on the way down.”

I won’t even lie….that last line did get me the first time I listened. LIKE IM SORRY!! I WAS SAT BUT IM STANDING UP! 😭 please don’t come for me I DIDNT KNOW WHAT I KNOW NOW!

So that’s the beginning…so we’ve got a Yandere on our hands you guys. BUT OH DONT WORRY! We get some wild Shit. Also why did this lowkey give me Yuno and Yuki vibes?? I’ve never watched Mirai Nikki but that’s the vibe I got when I first watched this.

Now let us descend further into madness!

Second video summarized [Your Nervous Technician checks in with you]

•The Android goes to see Marcus in the diagnostics lab, where they both find out that additional monitoring and surveillance equipment has been installed in the research center. That also includes the diagnostic lab that they are in.

He says he’s going to ask us some questions and informs us that we’re likely being recorded.

He talks about our progress briefly and how the others feel about said progress.

Then, he tells us we’re going to undergo some tests.

He says that one of the diagnostics is failing to initialize and tries to “fix it”. He actually overloaded the system and sent it into a re-initialized state. Basically they’re not being watched anymore and he did this so he can talk to us.

After the first video, the research center has been put on high alert.

Everything is changing. There are guards and there are people who seem to be important that are showing up.

Marcus is basically freaking out overall about rumors of “Phase 2” . He doesn’t know what the hell is going on and everyone else is also in the dark about things.

“I think this might be the government getting involved. Ever since we hit those original metrics, everything changed…overnight.” “We were given these new NDA’s to sign.”

Marcus is basically scared that he might not see us ever again.

The systems come back on. Marcus and Android put on their facades of being strictly professional.

And that’s video two.

Ya’ll might be wondering why I’m detailing their relationship. It’s actually important to understand how they both got together and why in the end, Marcus ended up where he is now. There are lore drops in his video but I’m here to deliver them for you! 🫶

Next is Video three!

Third video summarized [Reunited with Your Nervous Technician]

•We hear Brian for the first time! He tells Marcus that the lab is ready for him.

He enters the lab where he is reunited with us, the Android.

But before they can continue, he asks a very important question:

“What state of matter is love?” “Why?”

We give him the answers he expects and he sighs in relief that they didn’t mess with our code. We still “care” for him.

It has been three weeks since we last saw him. He was left in the dark about what was being done to us. Only the data integration team has been in contact with us.

They didn’t make the new data added to us accessible to us. It’ll only be accessible during Phase 3.

Marcus is going to try to access the files that were added to us. [Crazy ass bitch.]

After convincing us to let go of him, he attaches an interface to us and gains access to the data, but it is heavily encrypted.

They have a really long conversation about how everything is so secretive and that Marcus was terrified that they would be found out in those three weeks.

Marcus checks on the decryption but it’s barely making any progress.

He asks how often we think about him. We tell him we think about him, a lot.

He then tells us something:

“You know the parts of your code that I added? When we were creating you….the ones that were meant to bring us closer together. They weren’t set to activate until I initiated a series of triggers. You know? Phrases and things like that…and each time I said them…the code would reactivate.” “You’ve spent the last three weeks remembering everything I’ve said. Every interaction we’ve had…almost nonstop.” “I didn’t account for something like that.” “I didn’t put in any kind of fail-safe.”

The Android seems to be…a bit aggressive about not wanting to let Marcus go.

They get interrupted because the decryption worked. It solves the Text string.

On the data packet, the header is PROJECT MERIDIAN

And that’s the end of video three 🤭 OHOHO MARCUS YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE YOU STINKY MAN! Oh and we got a lore drop. Project Meridian??? What could that mean 👀 although I’m sure if you’ve watched all of Sovereign State…you guys know what’s up.

Fourth Video summarized [Confronted by a Diagnostic Technician] [confrontation and guilt-tripping]

•oh? The text is purple…BECAUSE WE GET A VIDEO WITH BRIAN! Brian makes it clear that he does not wish to have a meaningless conversation with us. He only wants to check our vitals.

He says we’re more than welcomed to talk but he probably won’t answer.

We tell him that we usually have conversations with Marcus. Brian says he doesn’t care what he does in his examination.

He says that he finds the insinuation that Marcus talking to us while doing his job makes him better is insulting. GET HIM AGAIN FOR ME BRIAN!!

Ever since the three weeks, the Android has not stopped talking about Marcus. They’re descending into their obsession.

Brian says he has no patience for that. “We’re barely getting any sleep. We’re being hounded to work on this project at all hours. We’re pulling double-shifts to try and get this thing back on track for their deadlines, and you can’t even do me the curtesy of focusing on something other than Marcus for ten minutes.”

“This project has to work.”

“There are careers on the line. There are livelihoods on the line. People’s futures are hanging in the balance, while you stand here pining about Marcus and not focusing on your progress.”

Brian then proceeds to the beg the Android to stop thinking about Marcus for once. That they should tell Marcus to stop because there are people’s lives on the line.

The Android grabs Brian’s arm and he demands that they let go of him.

He tells them that he is only telling them what they need to hear.

“I spent the last four years working on this project, only to have my contract changed right out from under me. Only to be told that if I didn’t agree to the new terms, I’d be fired and have my name dragged so deep into the muck that I’d never get a respectable position again! I have a family to support!”

He demands us to get our shit together.

And that’s the end of that video. Phew…that was a fucking lot. I really do recommend Brian’s video to give you a big understanding of their situation.

So yeah…they’re in big fucking trouble

I remember being so stressed when I listened to this. Like omg….THIS IS SOME SERIOUS SHIT.

There is a part two that I will link here. Thank you for joining me on revisiting Marcus’s tomfoolery.

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted project meridian #redacted marcus #redacted android

[cchaoticc]

losing motivation for my classes 

#k.t #SIGH #the semesters almost over i just gotta pull through for this month #mostly the greek world project i have to do #WE WERE PLAYED #we didnt know when the last day was for these video projects to be presented so we said apr 28 #but apparently the first week of may is open too #but my partner told our prof the 28th #and we havent done SHIT #well i havent done much ive only took some notes from this book i found #idk how we're gonna make the video 8+ minutes

[imagineabrighterworld]

Nothin’ On You // Sero x Shy!Reader

A/N: Kinda long! But I owe Sero for taking so long on finishing this! Hope you like it! ^^

The first time you meet is for a school project

In middle school he was the cool guy that got along with pretty much everyone. At first you would hide away, which was easy with a quirk like yours. You would turn translucent and mute according to your mood, so every time you tried to muster up the courage to talk to him when he passed you by in the halls, you would completely disappear. It was a game of chance to see who was paired with who when the fated project came up, but when you were paired with Sero you almost entirely disappeared off of the face of the earth. You begin to wonder if you could escape class without being noticed when he makes his way over and plops down in the seat next to you.

"Name's Hanta Sero, what's yours?"

Your face flushes, body turning translucent for a split second before you take his hand and shake it. "It's..." Your voice fails you. Of course it had to happen now. Your quirk just had to be a two-in-one kind of deal.

Lifting a finger, you scribble your name down on a loose piece of paper and offer it to him.

He looks at the scrap of paper with curiosity. “Cute name.” He looks back to you. “Is that your quirk? The..?” He motions to his body and mouth.

You nod sagely.

He beams. "Nice to meet you."

The tension in your shoulders lessen. Grabbing your textbook and one of your notebooks made for this type of situation, you write down several questions before pointing to the textbook pages.

He reads each message, surprisingly more patient with your quirk than others. Some expected you to push past it or get over your shyness, but he went with it. It made you feel.. valid. Like your quirk wasn't a burden.

“Sounds like we'll be having a few all nighters on this one, Mr. Takeshi expects waaay too much of us if he wants this done in a week.” Sero looks at you curiously. “What do you think? We could do it at one of those 24/7 cafes nearby.”

Feeling yourself relaxing, you realize you've returned to being opaque as you nod in agreement. "Sounds like a plan."

His smile brightens. "Hey, your voice is pretty cute too chica!"

This time you're glad you disappear from sight, hands covering your mouth as he laughs heartily.  

The project was an odd success

After your initial shock and shyness of being paired up with Sero, you both were a rather successful couple when it came to academics. You split the work equally and helped each other when either of you needed it. While he wasn't always the brightest, he always managed to put a smile on your face when you were studying long into the night, when your eyelids grew too heavy and your will to study lessened. When the day of the presentation came and you both took to the front of the class, it was his support that kept you from disappearing out of fright. However, now that it was over, you were surprised he still wanted to hang out with you, even if it wasn't required anymore.

“Oi, chiquita bonita! Over here!” Sero waves to you from across the classroom. He was sitting in his normal spot with his usual clique, and normally you didn't mix with them. They seemed nice, but it was always awkward when you joined him. You felt like they only tolerated you because of him.

Gathering your items, you shuffle out of your desk space and join him, blushing slightly as he scoots his seat to the side to make space for you right next to him. You could feel the burning stares of the girls surrounding him. You held on though, focusing on staying opaque, knowing he would try getting to the bottom of why you were nervous. Oh if only he knew how hated you were by his clique of girls.

“We did pretty good on the presentation didn't we?” He asks while draping an arm across the back of your chair, his body completely at ease. “Even the cabrón was impressed.”

You smack him lightly on the back of his head. You didn't know a lot of spanish, if at all, but you picked up some slang from the boy next to you. “Don't be mean Hanta, he's not all that bad.”

The girls’ hiss at your action, but Sero only laughs and tugs you closer under his arm. “Lo siento cariño. I'm sorry, but it's not my fault he has a stick up there.” He gestures upward with his middle finger.

You knew if you tried speaking, your voice would have fizzled out like a drop of water on a hot stove.

After the project you two were nearly inseparable, everyone knew you and Sero were an item (even if you both didn't see it)

“Dios mio! What did we do to earn this princesa?”

You turn around to the source of the voice, pausing on decorating the stage of the auditorium. It was Sero, you could tell immediately by his voice, but what you didn't understand was the context of his words. What was he talking about?

The confusion must have shown on your face as he moves closer and climbs onto the stage, walking up to you until he was by your side. “You're all dolled up. What's the occasion?” He holds you by the shoulders and peers behind you as well, earning a pinch on his cheek.

“It's the dance this week, remember? But the play is before, so we have to set up so it's all ready for the night. That means dress rehearsals too.” You were a part of the theatre group, an odd choice for someone who disappears when they get stage fright, but you were heavily invested in what you did. It was a passion you indulged.

“Aye, yeah I forgot about that.” Sero rubs his neck and looks at the ground, deep in thought. At least for two minutes. After the two minutes he peeks at you with a mischievous grin. ”Wanna go to the dance with me?”

To your credit, you manage to stay opaque while your heart beats wildly in its cage. “Thats a dumb way of asking me out.” You mutter while sliding down from the stage, nearly cutting yourself on one of the loose planks.

“¡Cuidado!” He holds his arms out, ready to help you down. “I don't want my date to get hurt you know?”

“I can still dance in a cast.” You brush off his concern with a rare smile. Crushes aside, you appreciated his friendship and concern.

“The fuck is this, Romeo and Juliet? Get a room!” A classmate yells from the lighting stage, laughing when you flip them the bird.

Sero joins in the laughter, leaving soon after apologizing to your classmate. Said classmate meets you in front of the stage, arms crossed and looking back and forth between you and the now closed auditorium door.

“So are you guys dating now?”

“No, we're just friends.” You rub your neck, feeling the translucency crawl up your neck. But it couldn't wipe away the smile on your face.

You gravitate towards each other

Stretching your arms in front of you, you twist your body to the right and sigh as you feel a pop. You didn't particularly like gym class but it was nice to get a good stretch.

Looking around at the field in front of you, you wave at the occasional friendly face. You had friends in this class, which made it even more bearable.

"Hola princesa!"

Sero?

Turning around you grin at the familiar face. You run to the fence blocking you in, gripping it as you watch your friend run to you. He holds your hand through the fence, a normal occurance and a habit you've grown fond of.

"What are you doing here?" You question while turning your hand in order to squeeze his, heart fluttering when you see the small tinge of pink on his cheeks.

"Just here to say hi. My next class is in E block." He peers over your shoulder. You were about the same height, somewhere around 5'4, so you relished being able to see him eye to eye (mostly) while it lasted. He grew a bit over the break of your first year. "Playing anything?"

"Volleyball." You shiver. "I'm team captain, but I suck at it." Who would you pick? Would you actually be a good leader? You feel your voice leave you as you begin to rival that of an onion skin, growing more and more invisible.

A small pinch on the back of your hand pulls you back to reality. Sero waggles a finger, tisking at you. "Don't sweat it, you'll do great." He squeezes your hand before backing up, walking backwards as he heads to class. "Just breathe princesa!"

"Got it." You whisper to yourself, waving to him as you watch him enter the building across from you.

Sadly by the end of your second year, he had grown taller, leaving you craning your neck to look at him.

When he entered U.A. you still cheered him on

Graduating middle school was tough when you split off into different schools. You knew you would keep in contact, but it was so much harder to spend time together when you didnt attend the same schools. Still, with each video chat and phone call, with each text, you showered him with all your love and support. He wanted to be a hero, and you were happy to support him with that dream!

You: Saw you on the tv, you were amazing!

Sero: thanks 😙 still lost tho 😅😅😁😁

You: Yeaaah🤔 but you still looked really cool! Still, didn't realize you were strong enough to pull that Todoroki guy that way 🧐

Sero: Im just full of surprises princesa 😘

Sero mentioned you often to his friends

You were mentioned in at least one conversation a day, it didn't matter the context, you just sort of popped up. What could he say, he loved you! You were his go to for support and someone he truly valued. Plus you weren't crazy like his classmates. 

“You keep talking about her but we've never actually seen her.” Mina leans forward on her palm as she sips at her milk tea. “You're not lying about her are you?” She wiggles her eyebrows, eliciting a laugh from Sero. 

“Course she's real.” 

Kirishima lays his head on the table of the booth they were at, looking at Sero with confusion. “Got proof? It’s not manly to lie to your friends bro.” Sure he believed in his friend, but after a year of just hearing about a special girl, it was hard to keep believing without some form of proof. 

Sero holds up a finger as he pulls out his phone. Placing it flat on the table, he pushes the power button and watches his friends faces light up as they view his lock screen. It was a picture of you.

“Woah! Who's the hot chick?” Kaminari asks excitedly as he returns from the bathroom. “Is she single?”

Sero powers off his phone before smacking a piece of tape on his friend’s mouth, surprisingly feeling a twinge of anger at his words. You were his best friend! He had to protect you!

 On the inside he knew his anger was from deeper feelings, but for now it was just from the fact that he may need to defend your innocence from his own schoolmate. You were so shy, he knew Kaminari’s flirting would be too much for you.

“Yeah, no cabrón. She's taken.”

You were there for his graduation

Needless to say, you were at his graduation! It was difficult to find him amidst the crowds of families wanting to take pictures of their children and siblings, and even some heroes wanting to say their goodbyes! You were absolutely bombarded and neigh invisible after overthinking the whole thing, so when you finally found him you were stunned into invisibility when his friends jumped you. 

“Ohmygodohmygodit'sactuallyyouuuuuu!” Mina screams as she pulls you into her, squeezing the life out of you before you can get a breath out. 

The boys were much gentler, but just as excited. Especially Kaminari.

“Hey it’s the hot girl- more like the gone girl, what's happening?” He questions as you disappear from sight, your voice completely AWOL.

Sero smacks his face as he curses his friends out. “Chingues! Give my girl some space hijos de perras!” 

Mina gives you enough space to breathe but holds you much like one would a hostage. For a hero course student, you believed that she would have done very well as a villain. 

“Nope! We get to meet this girl of yours, Tape Boy!” She looks down at you, squinting to try making out where your face would be, unknowingly glaring directly at you. “He talks about you almost nonstop yet you haven't visited us at all, how unfair is that?” Mina grins. 

You come into focus, your voice a mere squeak as you brush some hair out of your face. “A little? I should've visited..” You introduce yourself to his cadre, your name stumbling off your lips. 

“Hot and shy? What a cutie!” Kaminari hugs you from your available side where Mina wasn't holding you in a headlock. 

A whip of tape smacks the blonde and sends him reeling back to Sero who holds him in a similar hold Mina was holding you.

Your friend ruffles Kaminari's hair in a somewhat violent manner, grinning at him with threatening eyes. "Go easy on her cabrón. She's not used to so many people doting on her."

They were doting on you? You tilt your head and look at Mina who was still examining you. "I don't think I deserve to be doted on, that's not what's going on here right?"

"Of course not, but you and I are gonna have some girl time while the boys get us a spot at a restaurant! You're gonna tell us all about how you and Tape Boy here met!" She chirps excitedly, pulling Bakugou in with her free arm as he tries escaping past her.

You feel a drop of sweat as you accept your fate, watching Bakugou attempt to wrangle his way to freedom. "Sure, sounds nice."

Sero made it rather big as a hero, see, he wasn't the strongest hero but he was very popular

He had always been popular, so it made sense to you when his ranking kept going up and up until he was in the high twenties. You knew he was good at what he did, being a source of smiles even in dark times, but it always brightened your day when you heard your coworkers mention him in passing. 

“Have you heard about the hero Cellophane yet?”

“Yeah! I think I saw him around yesterday. He was eating soba with Shoto.” 

You look backwards to see the faces of your junior coworkers. They were in a different department than you, but you enjoyed chatting with them every now and then. Mostly when it came to heroes as you had somewhat of an insiders look. 

Had you forgotten to mention you were friends with Sero- Cellophane? 

You debated whether to tell them over tea one day until you heard their next words.

“He’s kind of hot isn't he?”

... Maybe you would keep the secret to yourself. 

As a hero he makes time to drop into your life, sometimes randomly 

What else was to be said? Really?

A blur flashes by your face, causing you to yelp in shock, stepping back and nearly falling onto the unforgiving pavement. Luckily, said blur created a swing of tape just in time to catch you, pulling you forward and bringing you into his arms. 

“Lo siento mi corazón! I didn't mean to make you fall.”  Sero grins at you, his arm wrapped securely around your waist. He definitely meant to make you fall, you could see the mischief behind his eyes. 

“As if Hanta.” You pinch him on the cheek, a smile coming to your face when he whines. “Look I’m happy to see you but I've got to get to work on time today, no funny business.”

“No funny business?” He repeats after you, rubbing his chin in thought. “Then I guess I’ll have to escort you to make sure you get to work on time.” 

Your eyes widen as you feel his hold grow tighter and more secure as he holds you flush against him. Oh no. “Wait Sero-!” 

And just like that, you were in the air, swinging from building to building with him propelling you both forward. You attempt to scream at him but your voice is lost along the way as you hear the clicking of cameras. 

Oh god they were taking pictures.

“Niña don't worry! We’re almost there!”

 Luckily for you, you were never caught on camera. So your quirk did have some uses. 

The media was sure he had a partner 

The photos really ended up getting him in hot water as every interview he did, the topic of romance was brought up. Fans would notice he would avoid the topic of love, but on his social media he would constantly mention a girl. No one knew who this girl was, but fans and news stations were determined to wring it out of him. 

Once the red light of the on-air button was out, the reporter in front of Sero swiftly covers the mic pinned to her lapel and scoots to the edge of her seat. Sero watches in quiet amusement as the whole station becomes silent. Weird. But he knew why they grew quiet so fast. They wanted information, and if even the news anchor waiting for his time to come up stopped his boisterous laughter, it must've been important. 

“Off the record. Do you have a secret sweetheart stashed away somewhere Cellophane?”

Oh. This again. 

He stretches his arms in front of him as he runs through his normal excuses and dodges for this question. All still viable and working, but.. Maybe he could give a little hint. The media was on his ass about this after those photos were taken of him and his girl, so it was only right to clear the air right?

“Turn on the cameras. I’ll give this to you.”

You were crushed when he admitted he did have a sweetheart (of sorts) and even more so when the media suspected it to be the Stealth Hero: Invisible Girl

The media did end up getting a bit of info out of him  and when you heard about this special girl your heart couldn't help but crack under the thought of him distancing himself from you to be with her. You treasured your friendship with him, romantic or not, you didn't want it to end. Because of this fear, you are the one who starts to close yourself off.

“Chiquita, what's wrong?” Sero follows you as you make your way to the kitchen, a bowl of chocolate coated pretzels in your arms. “Are you sick? I can stop by the pharmacy for you.”

“N-No, its okay. I'm not sick..” You back up when you see his arm stretched outward, flinching when the back of his hand meets your forehead. 

He hums. “No fever.” 

You push past him, abandoning the bowl of chocolatey treats on the counter. You felt yourself becoming frustrated. Not with him, but with yourself. His opinion meant the world to you- he was your best friend! And you were letting this relationship of his get to you. How petty could you be? He did nothing wrong. In fact, you should be happy for him, finally dating his high school sweetheart.

But the thought of him dating Invisible Girl- the irony of him dating an invisible girl- was just too much for your heart to take at the moment. 

You had no way to take out this frustration. So it was reflected onto him. 

“Cariño-”

“Please!” You slam your hands on the counter, voice fading in and out as you hide your face in the collar of your turtleneck. “Please.. Just go.”

The apartment was quiet, filled with only your ragged breathing as you hold in your rampant emotions. When he leaves with a silent goodbye, you're unsure if the breaking sound surrounding you is just in your head or if something truly reached into you and tore your heart to pieces. 

He makes it very clear who that sweetheart is

Finally, he announces just who captured his heart. It was live on a jumbo screen, playing as you were out getting “groceries” for the nights dinner. 

The hollow feeling in your chest wasn't easing, and it definitely wasn't made any better when you saw the Stealth Hero on the television next to her team. Though your calves were certainly doing better with how much speed walking you would do when you passed by convenience stores with tabloids lining their windows, photos of Sero and Invisible Girl on the front. 

Work went by dreadfully slow, and lunch went by just as uneventfully as usual. You ignored the chatter of your coworkers, uninterested in what they had to say. 

After the report came out, no one was talking about the top heroes anymore. They all were focused on the potential lovers and what other secret admiring the heroes had in their ranks. If other heroes were hiding their own affairs. If the popular Cellophane could hide his romance, maybe someone like Deku or Shoto could be too. 

“We’re going out for drinks later, want to come with?” Your junior asks as she slings her purse strap over her shoulder. “Jin is paying~”

You respond with a polite smile. “No thanks. I’m going straight home.”

- - -

Going straight home was the plan, but in the end you had to make a quick trip to the nearest grocery store for dinner. Something quick, as you didn't have the energy to make something complicated. 

Which meant you ended up buying only instant ramen.

It was on your way back, crossing a busy sector when the sound of your friend on the jumbo screen caught your attention. 

“She's my corazón. Mi vida.” 

You look up at the screen, stopping in your tracks.

Sero was blushing, a shy smile on his face, but his eyes were lit up with joy. You heart pulses rapidly in your chest, a blush creeping up your cheeks. You had never seen him so flustered, it was always the other way around. 

“I’ve loved her since middle school. I never wanted to drag her into this, so I never confirmed her name- but its not Invisible Girl!” He amends quickly, looking at the reporter with a knowing look. He wags his finger, his infamous cocky smile replacing the twitterpated look from earlier. 

“Sure, she has a similar quirk, which is how those photos came to be.” He leans back in his chair. 

“You want to know her name right? I guess it wouldn't hurt to say. I’ve kept it hidden for so long, but here it is.”

And then he said it.

He said your name.

Looking directly at the screen, he smiles gently, eyes full of the warmth you've been craving ever since you were paired for that project years ago. 

“Ella es mi tesoro. She is my treasure.”

Extra: 

Racing home, you're not surprised when you find the lights on in your apartment. In fact, it only spurs you forward. 

Yanking open the unlocked door, you drop your groceries and launch yourself into Sero’s arms as he held them open for a hug. 

He was sweaty from rushing from the news station to your apartment, but neither of you were concerned about it as you laugh. You laugh at the tape still clinging to his clothes, you laugh at the ramen spilling out of your grocery bags, you laugh at your tears.

You laugh at how long it took for you both to finally admit how much you loved each other.

“Mi corazón.” He pulls back from the hug and cups your cheek, looking at you with love softened eyes. “I love you.”

Tears brim your eyes. 

You speak in the clearest voice you've ever spoken in. Skin bright and flushed pink. 

“I love you too.”

#bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #boku no hero x reader #my hero academia #my hero academia x reader #sero hanta #sero hanta x reader #hanta sero #hanta sero x reader #bnha sero x reader #mha sero x reader #song loosely based on Nothin' on You #and partially by Just the Way You Are #those vibes combined made this #I think I lost braincells trying to finish this qwq #Sero is latino #latino sero #really wanted him to speak spanish and my betas agreed with me #I'll switch between him being full on japanese or part latino tho #to be fair you know?

[dallonm-archive]

So I Turned Church Mud Into A Novel Lol Oops | NaNoWriMo 2020

Folks the JOURNEY I have been on in the last 3 days. I’ve been on a great albeit chaotic Church Mud high and it led to? This? 

For those who don’t know, Church Mud is meant to be a ~7k words short story for my writing dissertation (and it still is). I attempted to do Draft Zero over summer, completely missed the mark, pretended it didnt exist for a month and here we are. One thing I learnt from that attempt though was that there is a much wider story to be told than what we’d see in those 7k words. Back then I was content with it only existing as a short story, not having all the parts told, because I liked the idea of Felix and Dorothy existing in this small window with a happy ending that’d otherwise be temporary. But I cannot help myself :)  I met my advisor on Wednesday and reaffirmed that I’m at a really good place with this story in terms of ideas, themes and character - what’s missing was just the plot. So that’s what I’ve been working on (and killing my sleep schedule over) since, and what happened was:  I realise most of my ideas wouldn’t fit the short story --> But they’d work in a novel --> So I guess I’m writing Church Mud as a novel after I graduate? --> But I kinda wanna write it now --> But I can’t --> But I want to --> Chloe your dissertation --> Hey you want more novel content? Here’s chapter titles --> God I Can’t Wait To Write This As A Novel --> Hey that thing where you write a novel in a month is happening soon...could be a...perfect excuse to...….,,,

So I had a ~revelation~ at 4am: why can’t I write it now? NaNoWriMo coincides with when I’m meant to brainstorm this story, so why don’t I take what I have and pants it as a novel, intentionally #LoseNano2020 and use what I wrote to infer what the short story will look like whilst also have a Draft Zero to work with/finish/rewrite next year? I debated if this was a good idea because it felt ~unconventional~ but I realised that a) I want to write this as a novel anyway and b) this is where I’m loving the project and that’s what matters and c) makes it feel less like uni work lol  I’ve spent the all day playing around with what Church Mud The Novel would look like, and not only am I o b s s e s s e d but it also taught me? so much? about the short story? I was worried it’d get complicated but from the vague plot idea I have, I have a clear vision of Church Mud The Short Story separate from the novel, but I also see how it would fit into the novel as a chapter, and seeing where it’d fit in has really helped me figure out where it sits in the twins’ lives and so many elements I hadn’t considered before. I believe very strongly in Writers Intuition and my intuition is telling me that this is the direction I need to go with this project. My only issue is Church Mud doesn’t fit as a title for the novel at all and was never going to be the title, but I really don’t care oop, I’m not titling it until next year unless I come up with a title so good I want to change the short story as well lmao. But other than that this is working so well for me and really catalysed the momentum I already had atm for this story. I’ve also wanted to rework how I share Church Mud things here and this is a perfect way to at least for the next month, but before I ramble more lets actually talk about where the story is!

CHURCH MUD

Genre: literary fiction Setting: California (+ probably some other states? Idk I’m not American wtf is a state), 1986 POV: third person present + retrospective moments, split between twins Felix and Dorothy The Vibes: hazy summers, hot air, 3am, saltwater breeze, grainy photographs, empty roads at night, the moon blurred by clouds, arms resting out car windows, abandoned churches, telephone boxes, getting lost on purpose, cigarette smoke, dust from an old Bible Deals with: faith & the weaponization of it to control others, identity, perceptions of reality, chosen family, independence v co-dependence, free will, trauma & what it means to “let go”

CONTENT WARNINGS: religion/religious imagery (specifically Christianity), trauma, toxic relationships, inferred addiction (all updates will be tagged with these/any more specific warnings) 

This is still in very early conception, in the sense of it’s existence as a novel, but it’s definitely an expansion on the ideas I had for the short story, where these two seek to let go of their past together so they can live their own, new lives, and also restore their tangled relationship that could never be fixed through letters and distant contact.  When Dorothy left the controlling religious cult she grew up in, she never gave herself a chance to properly process the complicated emotions that came with that decision, or the trauma she went through, opting to cope with it by putting all her energy into building her new life and embracing her identity. Watching her brother navigate the same new, confusing path she took four years ago forces her to look back on her own experience, and the repressed memories of events that prompted her to leave in the first place. When Felix catches up with her, he struggles with the realisation that adjusting to this new life and world won’t be easy, and whilst it was the right choice, his impulsive decision has ramifications. Trauma does not necessarily stay in the place you associate it with and for Felix, it’s like seeing all of it from a birds eye view, all at once, including everything he blocked out. With his faith, his sister, and his drive to be a good person, he has hope for himself and the world, but the pain and anger he harbours will not make it easy for him. ^by no means a pitch literally just the copy paste of the quick summary I wrote for myself lmao

The most exciting part of this to me is how different, yet similar the novel feels. This version of the story isn’t necessarily happier, it’s still rough around the edges, but it’s definitely from a different mindset and there’s this haziness to it that doesn’t exist in the short story. It feels like a grainy home video that they’d never let see the light of day. I wouldn’t call it dreamlike or softer because of this, but there is this distinct tonal shift from the short story to the novel that I can only describe through the aforementioned Vibes. As I said, I have an idea of where the short story would fit into the novel’s timeline as a chapter, but they still won’t be the same. The short story is obviously more restricted to one singular event, and that turns the intensity and tension up high. This difference is also 100% influenced by the fact that the short story is set only at night (bar for some potential flashbacks), and the night plays a huge thematic and atmospheric role. Of course parts of the novel will take place at night, but the presence of daytime changes the mindset to me? In the short story it feels like they’re stuck in this perpetuate-esque night, whereas in the novel you know that the sun will always rise.

This story is also very different aesthetically, but at the same time elements of the short story’s aesthetic come into play and clash with the unique aesthetic of the novel, where they coexist, but are also in conflict with each other. As you can tell from these two moodboards where you can really see how for the second I gave up trying to make it coherent lmao: 

To me there are two distinct aesthetics, and they are both very different and exist in different ways, but they are both inherently part of the story, and it feeds into this idea of perception of reality and these two realities that the twins perceive: the “outside world” and the gated world they grew up in.

The stars of the show, my favourite disaster twins:

Not fragile, but not made of stone either

Loves very hard, sometimes more than she’d like 

A protective and loyal soul, especially with those she loves, but she never wants to forget to protect herself 

If I’m in love with my best (female) friend, no I’m not <3

-goes to the edge of the pier and stares wistfully at the ocean so everyone knows that I am the main character- 

Loves her brother more than anyone else but is struggling to figure out his new role in her life. As teenagers she felt painfully tethered to him because they were always The Twins, and she had nobody else, as adults she hopes to find a balance between their deeply close bond and their harshly different lives 

Arc driven by defining your identity and then redefining it, and facing the parts of it you’d rather lock far away. Also deals with her experience growing up as a girl in a religious cult in the 60s/70s, and the relationship faith has with her feminist identity. 

As of now, there’s more focus on him in the novel, since the short story focuses on Dorothy and I feel to write him from an observer perspective I need to get into his head first 

Just found out restarting your life completely is hard?

Trying to be a good person, wants to be a good person, but there’s an anger in him that he hates but it’s festering and it’s growing

But ultimately he is a sweet and soft person and that’s what he wants to be in life even though it’s hard, it shows especially with his sister

I think at some point he locks himself in a cabin and? I would too

Centred around perception of trauma and v influenced by my own experiences with that, where you think things will be easier as soon as you leave that situation but really it just makes you look at everything from a distance and be like “what the fuck?? that actually happened??” (which conflicts with the fact that you KNOW you’re in a better place and you would never go back, but it hurts and it’s hard especially understanding the placement of your trauma in this new space) 

I need to give this dude and his sister a happy ending for my own wellbeing. I don’t know how that’ll look but these two will get their happy endings. I actually don’t think I’ve loved two characters more and I love all my characters deeply 

And I think that’s all for now! This 100% was not the direction I expected to take but I am so glad I did, and I also love the opportunity to reintroduce this story because good Lord it’s changed so much (and this instance is the most change). I also think this is the perfect Nano scenario for me, as someone who’s never done it before, there’s zero pressure on me to “win” because I don’t expect to even finish this. I’m just going to see where it takes me and see what it’s given me at the end of the month.  I’m also not outlining this at all lmao, one because me and outlines do not get along but also my Preptober is just. the work I have to do for my dissertation anyway, which is reading and gathering a lot of fiction/nonfiction about cults/religion, and all the weird and unhinged takes on it. It’s very slow but it’s also fun! My uni work this weekend is literally to read The Girls by Emma Cline so I think I won here?? I also want to dedicate the rest of October to the short stories I planned to write for Nano (I was going to work on my collection).

I don’t know if I’ll do a taglist for this - I have the og Church Mud one but like I said I’m rethinking how I want to share this story and updates for this will only be regular in November so?? But chances are I will be constantly on my bullshit for the next month and a half with this story, pretty update or no pretty update 

My NaNoWriMo page is here, although fair warning I have No idea how this site works, this is my boomer moment. Excited to clown about this story though!

- Chloe 

#first off my fatal flaw is interchanging between Felix and Dorothy and Dorothy and Felix #second off i would die and kill for them #writing #amwriting #writeblr #writeblr community #religion / #trauma / #nanowrimo #nanowrimo 2020

[thesaunatest]

MY HUGE THEORY ON EL’S PLOTLINE IN S4

before you guys even start, YES I know that 99.9% of what I say is going to be wrong but this is literally just for fun.

its march 1986, middle of the school year and el HATES school

when we left her she was barely literate and had just started getting accostomed to speaking full sentences, NOWHERE NEAR a 9th grade level, so shes struggling in her classes to say the least

on top of that, she barely knows how to socialize with other people, so shes evidently getting picked on

with joyce and jonathan both working to keep the family afloat, will and el get left alone alot

but outside of the party, they socially have nothing in common

in fact, will is adapting to the new town a whole lot better than el. he fit right in with all the creative kids he met in class, but el didnt mesh with that crowd

anyway, our girl is sturggling

the only time she really has fun is when she visits hawkins, or when someone from the party visits them

which leads us to spring break

mike obviously comes to visit, and el doesnt want them to waste a single second so she begs mike and will to come explore the town with her

at this point joyce is already in her detective mode, hatching a rescue plan for hopper so she doesnt notice theyre gone

and jonathan is battling the heartbreak of nancy ghosting him when she was supposed to come visit

so the trio goes off on an adventure without anyone noticing.......... or so they think

because brenner is back, and he knows el is with the byers, but he cant go and snatch her because he doesnt have the resources all the way in california

in fact, he doesnt have the resources at all. his numbers experiment is seen as a catastrophic failure that lead to the deaths of hundreds of lab employees

the only way for him to redeem himself in the community, and gain his funding back is to present his peers with proof that the project can work, so he needs to get one of his numbers back

el is the only one he can track down, but he doesnt think he can do it himself. if she saw him, she could just kill him with her powers, he assumes because he doesnt know she lost them

so who does he employ to get el back to hawkins? lonnie byers

its almost too easy. it doesnt take much to bribe lonnie, and hey, its not like its his kid. so lonnie accepts the bribe, and goes all the way out to california to find el

he shows up at the byers house..... only to find it completely deserted. so he waits

and the trio finds him there after their day out (why are you here? what do you want? where are mom and jonathan?)

and lonnie, being as crafty as he is, comes up with a good excuse on the fly (hes craftier than i am because i genuinely have no idea what he would say)

anyway, he gets them in his car and on their way back to hawkins

jonathan shows up after theyve already left, and is too stoned tired to think anything of the empty house

and joyce is already halfway to russia

will knows his father. he knows that his father doesnt give a shit about him, the family, or anything about hawkins. he knows that his father wouldnt get involved in anything unless he had something to gain. so hes wraking his brain

maybe.... lonnie pulls over to take a suspicious phone call? maybe will figures out an inconsistency in his story? either way, the gang is onto lonnie and figures that they gotta get away from him and get back to joyce and jonathan

they tuck and roll out of the car. idk. all that matters is that they get out of there

as theyre rolling out of the car, el bonks her head a little and has a quick flashback to her time in the lab

since her intuition is always spot on, she takes this as a cue the breener is back and lonnie is working for him

she tells the boys it isnt safe to go back to california or hawkins, so they come up w an alternative plan, somewhere neither brenner nor lonnie would think to look for them

and while theyre on the road, they stop at a diner to eat (dont ask me where they got the money) and we get will leaving an emotional voicemail home, probably sobbing to jonathan about how much he means to will, which gives el an idea

because who has the resources to help her, as well as a desire for vengeance on brenner? kali

el uses her superb hitchiking skills to get them to chicago

maybe she just has some hints of her powers left, but it isnt too hard for el to find kali

she explains everything thats happened, and lets kali know that if she want revenge, the opportunity is hers

unfortunately, lonnie was hot on their trail, and called for reinforcements

theyre ambushed by the few employees brenner has working for him. initially, everyone is hiding, assisted by kali’s powers

but el knows they arent leaving empty handed, and would rather get taken away then have kali’s freedom taken from her

so el reveals herself, followed by mike because he wont leave her, followed by will because he wont leave mike

all three get taken away, back to hawkins lab, but now kali is even more motivated to bring down the lab once and for all

so kali and her gang get to hawkins, almost simultaniously with jonathan, who has been looking for his family in a frenzy since the morning he woke up to find eveyone gone, without even a note or a phone call, as well as argyle, who came along for the ride

the video store is being used as home base this season, so thats the first place they go, where they find steve, shortstaffed and not knowing whats going on because the whole team ditched him

they catch him up to speed on how EVERYONES GONE and steve catches them up to speed on how EVERYONE IS GETTING MURDERED

meanwhile, brenner has three predicaments

1) no matter what he does to el, what kind of torture he inflicts, she isnt using her powers because she doesnt have them. she tells him this several times. he refuses to believe it

2) lonnie byers is demanding his payment, which he didnt recieve because the deal was that he bring el to them, and he couldnt even do that

3) he has to find a way to dispose of mike and will, who he had no intention of bringing into the lab but theyre here and they know everything

and this is the moment where mike screws up by letting them know that people know theyre in the lab and people know about all the experiments and any second now, someones gonna come banging that door down to save us. nancy, jonathan, steve, robin max, lucas, dustin, kali-

and the second mike says her name he knows he screwed up

brenner decides in that moment that all he can do is round up everyone involved and get rid of them. conveniently, the string of murders occurring will serve as a good cover for what happened to them

and this is the part where joyce, murray, and hopper get back to hawkins

this is also the part where nancy and robin and the gang get back to hawkins

so nancy and robin immediately go to the video store armed with all the new information they learned from victor creel

..... and are met with jonathan, argyle, kali, and steve in pandemonium

they close the store for the day, and get ready to storm the lab

they realize that they need something from the school, so they head there to pick it up

and soon after arriving, theyre met with the all to familiar hawkins lab vans

they make a hasty escape, taking out some of the goons but they need to find a way to get the rest off their trail

they head for the woods, hoping to hide out in the cabin

meanwhile, the russia crew has taken the mostly demolished cabin as their haven to recover from whatever injuries they sustained

theyre all running through the woods, but they realize the people from the lab are closing in on them

and then nancy and jonathan pass a very familiar tree

they use whatever weapon they have on them to break through the bark, and head into the upside down

the lab people keep going into the woods, eventually finding hopper’s cabin

epic showdown between the russia crew and the lab people, joyce, murray and hopper win, they realize the lab is back, immediately head there realizing theyre gonna have to rescue someone

nancy and robin use the info they learned from victor creel to keep the gang alive in the upside down, max, argyle and eddie are freaking out because omg we’re in another dimention, we get some big reveal about the truth about the upside down and the gang makes their way out and head to the lab

and while this is all happening,we get some super emotional monologue between brenner and el (ala-the last 10 minutes of the truman show) and brenner realizes that el isnt going to be the naieve superweapn she used to be, and decides the best thing he can do with el is give her the standard punishment, time in the closet

and being in the closet triggers all sorts of flashbacks and emotions (mbb’s opportunity to show off her acting chops for an emmy)

joyce and hopper bust into the lab like they did in season 1, but this time they dont get caught

they decide to split up to cover more ground, and hopper finds el in the closet

and around the same time joyce finds mike and will and gets them out of there

here comes the REAL emotional performance

hopper sees her, we get a teary eyed “el!” “dad!”, and then hopper gets pulled away from el by lab workers

exactly the same way terry did

we’re watching this happen from el’s perspective, with a heart-wrenching “noooooooooo” from el, accompanied by cuts to every time el has had to be separated from someone she cares about (terry, the s1 ending, billy dying, her leaving kali in s2, saying goodbye to everyone on moving day, her being separated from mike and will when they got to the lab) accompanied by some terribly sad 80s song, then back to the present moment, she reaches her hand out and boom, the guards go flying. her powers are back

except she doesnt have control of them the way she did before, and now shes bringing the whole building down

her and hopper race to the the first floor, and meet joyce and the boys, they get out of the building at the very last second, and the whole thing collapses.

eventually they find the other group, the whole team is now together, they go and take down the big bad from the upside down, joyce almost KILLS lonnie

nancy and robin drop a huge bombshell that has to do with hawkins/the upside down, specifically pertaining to el, which they pieced together after talking to victor creel

we get a massive cliffhanger, season 5 starts like 10 minutes after the ending of season 4

#stranger things #yes i know half the stuff i said is going to be wrong #it would be really cool if it was tho #stranger things theory

[pbandjesse]

I am very sleepy. I didnt sleep great again last night and while I was able to hold it together all day, I seem to just fall apart at night. It sucks. Im trying my best but it is hard. I just want to get the most out of my days you know?

I did have an alright morning though. I woke up a little before 8 and laid in bed for a long time. I got up and washed and dressed and felt alright. James had made me breakfast. He decided not to sign up for any teaching shifts so he could do chores here. So he was doing some laundry this morning. I sat in the livingroom and had my breakfast sandwich and watched some videos. 

What I really wanted to do was some art. I got a sock loom in the mail last night so I started to attack that idea. At first I was not doing it right. Its slightly different then the circle loom. And I thought I was using the wrong yarn for it but eventually after I watched a few minutes of video I got the hang of it. And my goal is to finish my first pair of socks by the end of the week. I really hope I can figure it out. I would actually spend most of today working on that. Mostly the kids were in class or otherwise preoccupied. So I could just have my little hand work project going and it was all good. 

So I spent my morning doing that. I tried really hard not to have leaving early anxiety. Its hard. When I got over to the site I would have a conversation about it with my manager and she said she doesnt think she can make the 1pm shift change, but 2 days a week we could work with with eventually moving me to a noon start time. So well see how that goes. Im a little more confident. Honestly even just starting at 1130 might help me. I dont know. Well see. It felt good to have the chat about it though. 

The actual work day was honestly pretty excellent. We had two new kids and the one was a complete sweetheart. He's 6 but we have a lot in common. Well more I was aware of more internet things that he liked. And at one point he told me that he had never met someone that like the same things as him. And when he got back on his class he told his teacher he made a friend and I honestly could have cried. Both of the new boys, they are brothers, were a little fragile and quick to big emotions. But I got them. And it was nice to be a good force and a positive adult for this little guy. 

He kept saying I was his bff and I helped him make a bracelet with his name on it, and he said it was beautiful because I made it. And he said I looked like the daughter from Hotel Transylvania and I was like yes but a little chubby and he got all serious and said "No. You're perfect." So he's my best pal now. 

There was a lot of art happening today. I think the kids like the art table a lot. I have like 3 or 4 projects for them to try and they just do their thing. And We played in the gym for a bit too. At the end of the day we watched a movie about a super powered squirrel and that was fun. I got a lot of my sock done then. Its honestly just about done and I will figure out how to finish it tomorrow and get started on the second. Im pretty excited about this new skill. I hope to make everyone socks for christmas this year. So at least Ill have a lot of time to work on them.

At the end of the day it felt like we had a lot of kids. We brought them back to the gym to run out some energy. Ended up having some neighborhood kids join us. James was waiting for me in the parking lot so I was like. Itching to leave. But I tried to be present by talking to one little girl about the dragon fanfiction she's writing and helping her edit her first chapter. Which honestly, is pretty good already. I hope she lets me read the whole thing. 

Once the kids were gone I got my stuff and met James outside. I was hungry but we had plans to go buy some gardening thigs. So off we went to the rite aid. 

We got potting soil and some pots for the plans that have gotten to big. And some little snacks for the house. And then it was home for dinner. 

We had a frozen pizza for dinner. I kept working on my sock. It was a good time.But it was also really cold in here. So we had a space heater going and I started having an upset belly. I think its cause I have a little bit of a headache. So now that it is late and this is done, I am going to take a shower and get in bed. And I hope that I can just sleep easy. 

Tomorrow I hope to have a productive morning. Wish me luck because its hard for me still. I hope you all have a great day though. Take care of yourselves. Goodnight! 

[dr-stoneworld]

Sis- I need this 😫 I need hcs of senku with his daughter, it can be anything you choose. Keep up the great work, ily and your writing ❤️

Character: Ishigami Senku

Summary: Headcannons of Senku with his daughter who isn't a big fan of science.

Note: It's a request from my lovely friend Nia. Since it's a topic we have already discussed about I'll be using female pronouns.

🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿

• It's been years since the stone age. Slowly, but not to slowly senku with rest of his friends mainly, and then other un-petrified people had developed the world much more than it was before the petrification.

• The daughter he loves so much was named after a well known scientist, Marie Curie. Her name was Mariel, the 'l' was just can extra that was taken from his wife's nickname, which ended with 'el'.

• Oh god Mariel disliked science so much. Mostly because her parents loved it so much that she felt ignored whenever her mom and dad were so occupied by science.

• But she loved her parents too much, so she acted to like science.

• "Uhm dad when will mom be coming back home?" She asked softly, she asked tugging on her dad's lab coat.

• "Oh- she will be coming home in 2-3 days!" He answered her as he ran his hand over her jet black hair before picking her up "Is there something you want, princess?"

• "I wanna ask!! Why does mommy and daddy like science so much? Mariel don' understand" She frowns clinging to her lovely daddy, Senku

• "Kukuku, I see my princess is finally asking me questions." Senku chuckled as his eyes sparkled, getting ready to explain her everything she wants to know. He goes to the lab she usually shares with his wife.

• Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped to the floor as she percieved all the things in the room.

• Oh god curiosity took better of her. Mariel literally bombarded Senku with questions asking about each and everything.

• She quickly got down carefully wandering in a rush.

• "Daddy, dirteeehh waterr" she points at a test tube "different coloured wateer, pwettyy" pointing at another one, she said making an 'O'with her mouth. "WOAAHHH DIFFERENT STOWNES!!" she went and picked some stones and examined them "they so pretty" she squeaked before looking at one another mysterious looking thing and going towards it.

• "What's th-" she abruptly paused and ran towards her dad and hugs his legs sobbing "daddy, that shtinkksss" she sobbed making Senku laugh a bit before picking her up once again.

• "Kukuku, my small princess, shall I show you something very interesting?" He asked making Mariel's fluorescent red orbs sparkle as she nodded a "Yes please!"

• That's when Senku takes Mariel to another, observatory room where all sorts of highly developed telescopes are present.

• "I'm 10 billion percent sure that you would love this!" He announced as he put her on a seat before adjusting somethings and makes her see through a pair of binoculars.

• "WOAAHH DADDY WHAT THIS?? THERES SO SPARKLE SO MANY PWETTY TIINGS!! IS THIS SKY? BIIGG SO BIIGG" Her excitement echoed through the walls of the room.

• "Kukuku you loved it didnt you?" He said in the most affectionate tone. "YES VERY!!" she exclaimed before jump-hugging into her father's arms who was kneeling besides her.

• "I'm glad to know that" he said as he picks her up realizing that she fell asleep. He takes her to her room and carefully tucks her to sleep.

• "Goodnight princess" he whispers as he gives a soft peck on her forehead before turning the lights off and leaving the room, shutting the door quitely.

• Now Senku was tearing up because, his daughter who refused to talk about science even after his wife tried her best trying to get Mariel interested in science. All he could think was how happy his wife was gonna get.

• Oh how badly Senku wished his wife was home to witness all of this. He was so sure that she would definitely cry. He just missed his wife too much and her daily rants about how much their daughter isnt even interested about knowing what science, even more.

• "Yeah send it to her, I'm 10 billion percent sure she'll cry and probably in front of her regardless the people there." He commanded into the ear piece which was connected to a drone which recorded everything from Mariel asking Senku "I wanna ask!! Why does mommy and daddy like science so much? Mariel don' understand"

Yes. Senku's wife watched the video after finishing the last presentation she had to give as lead researcher in a project. She immediately started crying, because alot of stuff went down when she wasn't home??? She immediately booked tickets home and returned home that night.

Soon after she returned she was so dramatic and ignored Senku and only paid attention to Mariel.

"Babe why are you so dramatic?" "Momma dramatic :O"

"SENKU!!" "Phew finally got noticed, anyways"

Senku hugged both of them before saying "I love you both 10 billion times"

"And we love you 10 billion times more" both of them reeplied to Senku in unison.

🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿

I LOVED WRITING IT SO FUCKING MUCH. THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING THIS TO ME @nia-writes-bnha ILY SM SIS 🥺🥺💕

#senku headcannons #dr stone senku #ishigami senku #senku x reader #senku #senku icons #soft senku #cute senku #dr stone x reader #senku with his daughter #drstone imagines #im crying #im cryin in the club

[thedistantstorm]

Phoenix Protocol 02

A Zavala x Female Guardian work.

Summary: When the Traveler’s Light was returned to the Guardians after the defeat of the Cabal, it did not manifest itself the same in everyone. Miyu, an Awoken Warlock, finds herself struggling with her abilities, her Light feeling different and not her own. With her Vanguard preoccupied with grief and all eyes turned to the Reef, she finds herself turning to an unlikely source in an attempt to rediscover her connection to the Light and define what it means for her as a Dawnblade.

[Previously]

Ikora always wants more.

By research, Ikora actually means to discuss Miyu stopping hers. Focusing on more important matters. The Reef. Uldren. Miyu wants nothing to do with any of it, and that is why she had willingly offered her services detaining escapees from the Prison of Elders despite not actually wanting to do that at all.

It gives Miyu time to actually complete some more secretive research on the side: why her Light is messed up. Why it feels like when she received hers back, after the war, it felt like it belonged to someone else, the person she used to be but wasn’t any more, coiling uneasily beneath her skin. She’s gone to Io. The Shard. Both under the guise of hunting escapees, but also to seek answers.

Neither place does and very day, the solar sword is more difficult to grasp, wings of flame beyond her reach. Telling her Vanguard that didn’t work. Ikora didn’t understand. The Void has always been at her fingertips, for as long as she’s been connected to the Traveler. With that in mind, Miyu attempts to adapt her argument, listens to Ikora insisting that she push herself and hopes that eventually either her own efforts or Ikora’s reasoning pays off.

Ikora still demands an answer, though. Wants Miyu to give her something. So, Miyu presents her personal thoughts. Based on her research, she finds that her connection to the Light is strongest while meditating or calling upon her abilities in the midst of a healing rift. Ikora is not impressed. Miyu isn’t expecting her to be. She tells Ikora the truth - that she does not believe offensive maneuvers are her true calling, not anymore. It’s something she’s believed for a while now. She can hear Ghost cheering her on in her mind for being honest - for expressing her opinion. That was rare. Miyu hated doing so, especially when she knew it was going to be an unpopular one.

Ikora, in response, cites battles, strikes, accolades. Ikora always measures a Warlock’s worth in accolades.

Miyu measures a person - Guardian, Human, Exo, Awoken, whatever - in terms of character. Heart. Sometimes she thinks that’s why she just doesn’t fit in with her more intellectual colleagues, aside from not being sneaky and clever like the Hidden or having half the honors or titles that Ikora’s top-tier Warlocks have. Put a sword in her hands and Miyu can cut down almost anyone or anything. But have her infiltrate a group and act a certain way, play a role of some sort? She’ll fail right away.

She is not an actress. She’s a Guardian. And to her knowledge, the definition of a Guardian is someone who protects. There has to be some merit in that, she’s told Ghost, and he - her best friend and most honest critic - agrees.

Ikora - Miyu thinks - must not think much of her. Still, the Void user pulls her back from her thoughts with praise. “Grey,” She says, “You are so much more than you give yourself credit for. You need to push yourself harder. Do not give up. I know you are better than this.”

It’s times like this that she wonders. Does Ikora know what her name is, really? Does Ikora even care? Miyu is beginning to think she’s just a faceless person, a puzzle that is challenging and therefore worth the more esteemed woman’s time. Ikora gave her hardly any face-time before the war, before she had these issues.

Regardless, the younger Warlock attempts to retain her composure. “Thank you. However, I would like to pursue my research on a more defensive Solar ability,” Miyu says, barely a whisper of defiance. “I believe it is possible.”

Ikora shakes her head. “Leave shielding for the Titans. A Warlock’s rift is not meant to protect. It is meant to heal or empower, and only briefly. Attempting to augment it is a waste of Light better spent on dispatching our enemies.”

Miyu sighs, but nods. “What would you have me do, then?”

The Warlock Vanguard crosses her arms, turns her back to Miyu and looks out at the City. “Take the most difficult Strikes and Patrols I can give you. Challenge yourself and you will find yourself calling upon your abilities more. If that does not help you to realign yourself with your Light,” She trails off, eyes narrowing on a fixed point beyond the horizon, “I will explore other paths. Your research is unnecessary at this time. If you require a project, I will send you to collect information from the Reef.”

The younger Warlock bows. “I understand,” Miyu says, schooling her features into something blank, and trying to sound collected and grateful, not detached and indifferent. “Thank you.”  This won’t help. She’s already tried this, Miyu thinks, but tries not to let it bleed into her demeanor.

“You’re welcome, Grey. You may go.”

Miyu turns her back to Ikora Rey, but waits until she is nearly to Banshee’s stall in the main portion of the Tower to let the frustration show on her face, a very quiet growl escaping her. Ghost appears at her side immediately. “I can’t believe she wouldn’t listen to you,” He says, sounding even more irritated than Miyu is. “I’m sorry,” He apologizes to her. “But I think you should keep working on it.”

“So do I.”

Ghost bobs, spinning around her in a wide circle of disbelief. “You do?”

“Yes.” Silver eyes cant over toward her Ghost’s single teal one. “I’ll do what she asks, and continue my research on my own. What else can I do?”

He sighs. “I know. I just wish it had gone differently.” He taps her cheek. “If you could have convinced her to watch you summon your-”

“We asked that the last two times and she refused. It’s okay, Ghost. I’m used to it being just you and me.” She reaches up to cup his small being with her hands, and holds him close. “Sometimes, I think it’s better that way.”

Ghost nuzzles against her abdomen in a return of their improvised hug, and wonders not for the first time if she considers leaving. He knows she doesn’t feel like she belongs here, that she’s trying so hard to fit into the roles dictated by social norms. Most of her fellow Guardians hurt her with their lack of understanding, their taunts. Most of them do not know how it feels to have their Light feel foreign to them. Still, she remains as gentle as she can, does her best to be kind to everyone she meets. It’s no wonder they don’t live within the confines of the Tower. The City folk are far kinder to his wayward Guardian than her own brothers and sisters. It’s a shame.

-/

Three days later, news hits the Tower. Cayde-6's killer has been eliminated. Almost everyone is celebrating. Miyu uses the general population's distraction to her advantage, slipping out to the training grounds recently restored near the base of the wall. There should be free space for her to experiment unseen, a rarity in the middle of the day.

She discards her gauntlets and lets the heavy, flame-retardant sleeves of her robes hang down over her palms. Pulls her sword from its sheath at her side. Ghost flutters around her, cones spinning silently in anticipation a safe distance away. She drops to her starting position, kicks off.

What she does not have in stealth or strength, she makes up with in skill. Some of it, Ghost believes, may have been written upon her from her first life, muscle memory and reflexes allowing her to pick up swordplay far more easily than ever anticipated. But not all of it. She worked hard to hone her skills, consulted archives and videos, took every ounce of criticism to heart.

He enjoys watching her dance throughout the training arena with her blade slashing out, parrying imaginary blows, each move fluid yet moving with unbelievable discipline and precision. However, he knows it will come soon. Can feel the tingle of Light, the increasing heat. She’s going to try without the rift. She always does, first. When her mind is clear, when she’s reached that place of blank-white concentration.

The Warlock sheaths her physical blade in a motion like lightning, before reaching out for the heat in the air, calling upon the Light in her soul to manifest the sword that answers the call of her heart. It always looks so effortless from afar.

It isn’t, though. He watches her throw the first one, scorching the dirt. Watches her call upon the second. Watches the flames spiral up her arm, paying no heed to her robes. Watches her grit her teeth and give form to the energy in her hand. This one doesn’t go as far, doesn’t track like the first.

The third fizzles into ash, blackens her fingertips. She screams, drops to her knees, slams her fists into the dirt. He doesn’t approach. He knows she wants to feel this, to commit it to memory - as if she hasn’t already, he thinks, but allows it to continue - and use it to fuel her. It’s how Ikora believes she will improve. Miyu doesn’t believe in it, but she tries anyway. He knows she’d try anything, to feel like herself again.

This is torture, but it’s therapeutic. She needs to let it out, to blaze, like the fiery powers locked inside her, refusing to come out the way they’re supposed to. The way they always had, before the Cabal had ripped them away by force.

Any changes in her personality, since the war, have been subtle. He notices the way her swordhand twitches after she lets the blades burn through her nerves. Can tell that where she might say ten words once, she now says six or five. Notices that where she’d try to be social once in a while, it takes a great deal of encouragement to convince her to approach a friendly face.

Ghost’s cones push out and then back in, spiraling around him in surprise as someone appears on his radar. Someone approaching, quickly. At a run. Miyu is pushing herself up, the rush of a healing rift spiraling out from beneath her. She doesn’t notice.

Another attempt is made to call upon the sword. She growls and braces her sword hand - gripping her left wrist with her right hand. Flames spit and spiral up both arms this time, fighting for purchase against the healing properties of the rift.

“Mi- Miyu?”

The small AI turns at the sound of the familiar voice. Oh, no.

Next

#commander zavala #oc: miyu #zavala x female guardian #ikora rey #destiny #destiny fanfiction #destiny stories #destiny fan fiction #slowburn #angst #character development #destiny community #post-forsaken #collection: phoenix protocol #zavala x oc

[lizacstuff]

Asks

Under the cut you’ll find a sampling of the asks I’ve gotten since yesterday. If you are upset about cancellation or love Lana, I’d advise you to skip. 

Anonymous said:

Hi Liza - sorry if this is a dumb question, but I don’t quite understand how pilot season works. Can actors that are still working on OUAT (e.g. Colin) audition for and act in this year’s pilots? How would the timing on that work? I remember Jen saying she was only able to do the OUAT pilot b/c the HIMYM producers flipped things around for her. I’m hoping Colin can get into this round of pilots, but afraid he might have to wait until next year…

Not at all a dumb question, and I’m certainly not an expert, but I think timing is the issue.  Since he will not be under contract next year, he technically can audition and throw his hat into the ring. However, actually getting time off to audition and more importantly shoot a pilot, if it shoots prior to April, would require his current job being flexible and giving him time off.  Just as HIMYM did with JMo and is why she is always talking about them in such glowing terms. The same goes for the entire cast.  Obviously, the show can’t make allowances in the shooting schedule for everyone, we’ll have to see what happens.  Right now Colin is still under contract and his first duty is to the show. 

Anonymous said:

omg apparently colin liked everyones goodbye post (even the problematic eb) except lp’s post lmao

I’m guessing that is an over sight, Colin doesn’t strike me as someone who thinks that hard about what he likes on social media. 

Anonymous said:

I think you are right about Colin, that he would leave after this season no mether what. He does not seem sad, his answers on twiiter was preety cheerful all day

It’s true, he has seemed very cheery. However, Colin also doesn’t strike me as someone who overly expresses himself on social media. He seems to present as upbeat and happy no matter what. (I did notice that his post was just about the only one that didn’t effusively thank A&E.) 

Anonymous said:

Hey, I’m seeing so many posts from not only the mains but also recurring/guest stars talking about how grateful they were for OUAT. This is the first time since I’ve gotten into fandom that a show I follow has been cancelled and I’m curious if that’s common, especially for guests? I’ll say this much, I’ve been so upset and bitter about this show for the last several months that seeing all the love for it has reminded me how good it once was and how blessed we were with CS and a lot of the cast.

I assume it depends on the show and the circumstances surrounding cancellation.  Most of the shows that I’ve been super invested in that then came to an end late in the run, were before social media made it easy for the actors to respond directly to fans.  This show is probably special because of the large online fan base, the huge number of guest actors that have come and gone and the generally happy experiences they all seem to have had on set.  

I agree that we were very lucky with Colin and Jen and the original cast.  What a ride!

Anonymous said:

Am I alone in thinking it odd that Lana has yet to post anything about the cancellation? Even EdR, JMo, and Robbie Kay have made comments about it being grateful for their time on the show and none of them are in it anymore.

She was pretty much the first one to post, check her Instagram.

Anonymous said:

I’m kind of at peace with the whole news today. I did get a good laugh out of a tweet I saw that said at least Lana will have a lot of time for cons now. I wasn’t sure if it was an ironic tweet or not.

Ha! I think the only way to tell if it was serious or not is to see if it was posted by a Regal.  Her fans don’t have any sort of sense of humor about her, so if it’s one of them, they are 100% dead serious and think meeting with them at cons is a soaring career path.

Anonymous said:

I think you hit the nail on the head in saying youre relieved. That was my feeling too. I didnt watch S7 past 7.02 and feel such joy over the way CS got sent out. From my observations, nothing in S7 has tainted that happy end and has made rewatching S1-6 that much more special. And its great to know they wont have time to give WHook a love interest. I hope A&E will take this opportunity to wrap the show up well, whether that involves the old characters, new characters, or both. I still love OUAT

Yes, I’m with you. I hope they wrap up the show well and give Henry an appropriate happy beginning. My followers know that Henry is not my favorite character, but I would hate it if S7 did not give a character who is so important to Emma (and Killian) an appropriate send off into the future with a chance at happiness.  

Anonymous said:

And here we go again l***’s fans are tagging popular show to get her roles. It’s like the ellen show all over again.

Oh that is hilarious.  It didn’t work trying to get her on a talk show, do they really think that casting directors are going to put her in a high-profile role on the recommendation from evilboobs38 on twitter?

Anonymous said:

I think we are about to hit the pilot season. How’s ****’s resume looking atm?

Well the last seven years will have but one line item. We’ll have to see how she does, I begrudge her no success, but will believe she’s destined to be the next Meryl Streep (as the manipulative shit-stirring troll claims) when I see it.

Anonymous said:

Waiting for their “inside sources” on what’s redacted’s next project would be lol

I don’t know, something about her last vacation has me thinking she might next star in a fitness video with her personal trainer/travel companion…

Anonymous said:

Did you read what the weasel eddy said that fans didn’t have to watch the season in his interview of the show being cancelled. I’ve literally never saw writers be so dismissive with their fans. Ugh wth is wrong with them.

 And

@bravebuttercups said:

Did you see the interview with E&A about Once ending after season 7? There were some particularly bitter/underhanded moments…but I’ve come to expect no less from them.

There were some decidedly questionable responses. However, I think most of them were from Eddy. Adam seemed able to control himself and was pretty diplomatic and gracious, it’s Eddy (it’s always Eddy) he can’t help but let his butthurt show. I think Eddy doesn’t know how to react to that sort of question, so he just dives directly into defensive mode and goes to the petty Emma Booth place of “don’t like it, don’t watch!”  I suppose he can do that, since the show is cancelled, he can be petulant with fans without fears of network reprisals.

Anonymous said:

Well, the Lana stans weren’t wrong. Lana did carry the show on her back. All the way to cancellation.

Oh man. Like I said earlier, this cancellation is bittersweet because it feels like the end of an era, but I will never get tired of Lana jokes.  Can I also add that I LOVED that TVLine used a solo photo of her in character on their cancellation story.  Fitting.  She’s the face of this season’s failure.

 Anonymous said:

It’s bittersweet for me. I’ll always love and be grateful for S1-6, and S7 as an extra, if I’m feeling happy, but this show needed to die before it got ruined further.

Yes, that’s how I feel as well.  I’m relieved that it looks like Captain Swan will escape unscathed (knock on wood) but I’m also feeling very nostalgic.  I had some really good times watching this show and getting excited for spoilers and fangurling. It was the best.   

Anonymous said:

Is it bad that I’m thinking that now Once is ending, we might finally get some talk and insight about any bts drama?

You never know, someone might eventually spill some juicy gossip.  However, I kind of doubt it.  People like JMo, Colin, Josh and Ginny have too much class. Also some of the juiciest gossip is already out there, you just have to know where to look. (Google Emilie DeRavin and Tom Ellis)  

Anonymous said:

Hey Liza, do you think they knew they were getting cancelled when they did the hot seat interview? Still trying to figure out if those bitter answers we got about anything Hook related were because of Colin, or if now maybe they were just bitter in general.

No, I don’t think they had official word of cancellation when they did that interview. Just my opinion.

 Anonymous said:

I totally think Ginny and Josh will return, whether it be present day, flashback, vision, etc - I just have a feeling they will make an appearance. They’re actually closer to A&E than any of the other cast members and I find it hard to believe that they won’t be worked into this season.

I guess we’ll see.  Eddy’s comment in Variety about not wanting to ruin any of the happy endings they’ve already delivered made me think we wouldn’t see Snowing or Captain Swan.  

To be honest, I prefer they don’t return.  I don’t want anything to have even a whiff of ruin, and the timelines of S7 are so wonky, they might do that if they show CS and/or Snowing.  If Henry, Regina and crew spent 8-10 years circle walking in the faux Enchanted Forest, I don’t necessarily want to see CS and Snowing 10 years after 7x02.  When it comes to them, I prefer to think of it as 6 months after 7x02 and they are just about to have their baby.

#ouat cancellation #ouat negativity #anti lana #asklizac #anonymous

[thecurlysafari]

What lay behind the Door

My post regarding Knocking on the Door of Development was almost my love letter to the career field and lifestyle I have chosen, or more-so, walked, as often its as though the path chose me. 

As illustrated previously, I’ve spent my adult life genuinely knocking on this illustrious door. How could I ensure that my 7.5 or 12 hours of a working day was spent genuinely working towards reducing poverty, injustice, inequality? How could my job description contain objectives that empowered people, collaborated with those in poverty, facilitated participatory methods into people shaping their realities, futures and lives. Aka, when can I work in International Development?! 

My reflections for what lay behind the Door are as follows:

1. I had stepped through the Door many moons ago. From the time I was 20 years old, leading volunteers to raise funds and work in partnerships with grassroots projects across Kenya. Or the time I was 24 managing 24 adults in a rural Zambian town on a DFID funded project. Let alone the expeditions and projects I designed with superheroes across villages and slums in Kenya. From setting up a society or social enterprise, to governance, managing volunteers, designing training, creating a brand, editing videos, social media strategies to managing the programme aims and impact. 

This is what ‘Development’ was all along. Real people in disadvantaged marginalized, vulnerable environments and the people and projects working to support, help, empower. 

But because I only held a stipend or used my own funds, this wasn’t Development? Because my job title was not with huge INGO’s like Save the Children or UNICEF, I wasn’t in Development? 

So my first reflection is that I knew all along how it felt behind that Door, but the realisation didnt come into my consciousness until recently. 

How many of us are chasing the stars, ambitious, goal oriented and focused on that next step, that next role or opportunity, that next moment to level up? Well I know so many that are and all whom in some way or another achieve such in their own way in their own time. But something I failed to do was keep my feet on the ground whilst my head was in the sky. How I often didn’t marry the grounding and gratitude with the goals. Ultimately, I was chasing something I had already experienced and worked so hard at, but as it didnt look or categorise the way I thought it should, I overlooked its very significance and presence. Being present, honest and inward is something that can enable each of us to appreciate the work we currently do and the impact it currently creates. Being kind and honest reduces the silly emphasis on ‘should’ and replaces with ‘is’.

2. Behind the Door = Work!

Brendon Burchard is one of my favourite speakers, authors and trainers. His words are poetic and incredibly uplifting to me, with his truly beautiful ability to shape ideas and move me with his words. It is he who coins this famous phrase:

‘Behind the door of opportunity is work!’

Obvious? Not so much. It is one of those classic life cliches that seem so obvious, but one that doesn’t necessarily resonate until we are faced with that truth. 

I was faced with this truth almost this time last year, when July onwards my daily work involved managing the in country operations of a grassroots charity across two countries, delivering humanitarian aid to thousands of refugees and asylum seekers weekly. 

Now, any job I have worked since graduating with my BscEcon in 2011 has been hard work! Crazy hours. Vulnerable groups. Difficult but exciting roles. 

But until I was faced with full day to day responsibility of this level of aid, support and a role...I didn’t realise the magnitude of what lay behind this door. 

It’s one thing to work endlessly, tirelessly, have huge targets to reach, limited time, constantly evolving roles and responsibilities...whichever sector. 

But- what does work look like when your targets involved keeping people physically alive after a police clearance in the thick of winter? Or stretching aid to reach the most vulnerable out of everyone who is homeless, cold, tired and desperate? When I’m balancing the safety of volunteers lives with the delivery of effective support to hundreds of people at a time. 

Knocking on a Door and having ambition and drive is the fire to keep the soul and spirit alight. Through work, passion, art, love, focus, curiosity in work and life, we live fully and purposefully. Yet, in chasing the sunlight, in knocking on that door, be ready for what is to come. Getting the person, job, gig, contract or opportunity brings both a fantastic sense of joy, pride, satisfaction. But my word does it also bring about an incredible amount of work! The ability, knowledge and skillset acquired to live out those goals and dreams are far more than you can often anticipate. Yet so is the magnificent capability and potential you already have withing you to honour this.

3. Curiosity leads to beauty 

To be in a certain place in your life and aim for something different elevates you or moves you into new places, discovering new parts of who you are, hobbies or interests, people, experiences, new loves or passions. Without such we stay still. Stuck. Sure, we also stay secure and stable as we simmer by, contented and present. 

And at times how I envy those who live this way. This simpler way. Same job, friends, home, holiday spots, foods, habits, hobbies. But, curiosity doesn’t have to mean quitting your job, relinquishing your life of responsibilities, shaving your head and moving to Bali.

Curiosity can be picking up a paintbrush for the first time and attempting a new skill. Going to a new class, visiting a new place, meeting new people. To act on curiosity brings in new life and joy. 

I, though, have been incredibly fortunate to meet, work and co-create with the curious of this world. The friends who created businesses and charities, touring the World, spreading light and impact. The Chief Execs moved by a cause and working tirelessly to address this. In my work, this is all I’ve known. Jobs, projects, charities, events, creations, all birthed from curiosity. All constant moving parts. 

Knocking on doors of opportunity invite this curiosity into your life. Professionally acting on an idea, starting a new project or taking on a new level or role, activates a new excitement and can ultimately bring so much more. 

Knocking on the Door of Development led me to African countries full of colour, innovation and a lifetime of lessons. It led me to study more, grow in humility, become obsessed with developing myself further. The sector isn’t stagnate so neither can you be. A charity needs better social media so its time to learn social media strategies, trialing out tools and learning techniques. A project is focused on technical assistance so its time to upskill on curriculum. 

Accept that to seek and to knock is an act of courage. Sending the CV, working on your idea, sharing your talent with other, interviewing for something new, focusing on achieving something more...these acts of curiosity are brave and can ultimately lead to such beauty. Add a splash of colour, develop who you are, be brave in your wonder and the benefits outweigh it all. 

Working in International Development is the most humbling, challenging, heartbreaking and heartwarming thing I could think to do. A sector with brilliant minds, courageous people, complexities and challenge like no other. 

I was proud to step into the Door and continue my work, my efforts to partner, collaborate, move, shake, create, resolve. But on reflection, I am prouder to seek to knock in the first place. 

So, be daring enough to seek out a new Door to knock, be prepared with what’s to come behind the door, full of work and challenge but most importantly, be grateful and present enough to recognise your journey throughout it all. Navigating your way professionally is rife with expectation, challenge and stigma. But being curious, brave and daring to want to do more and be more; its the reason we have exciting companies, products and services. 

In my industry, having courage and being curious of a better World, is the reason global movements are set on combating poverty, abuse, injustice, climate change, health epidemics, political instabilities, exploitation and more. As long as as we live in a World where these things are rife, you better believe people like me will forever knock on these doors for the opportunities to continue fighting, moving, building and creating. 

If you believe in your vision, keep knocking. One day the door will open- and things will never be the same again.

#journey #motivation #2019 #dreams #ambition #goals #challenge #Africa #travel #courage #bravery #freedom #work #profession #opportunity #World #Issues #Justice #Truth #Curious #brendonburchard

[pbandjesse]

I am very ready to go to bed. I actually left work a little early today because my chest was hurting. I think I am mostly just tired. But Im also still hurting today. So who knows. 

I slept okay but I woke up cold a few times and I had bad dreams about my teeth getting pulled. Which is like. Pertinent. My tooth really still hurts, and its hard to focus on much else. But I made a big effort towards that. 

I woke up today and James was in the other room. He was pretty low energy. He didnt sleep well. But he made me a sandwich because he loves me. And I got dressed and headed to work. 

I started the day pretty frustrated. Heather was on vacation and I was unsettled by that! I go to her a lot so her not being there was a bummer. And then Chris was not sympathetic to my needs of more set up time. So I talked to Charlotte and she told me she had check in handled and I headed up to arts and crafts. 

Where I spent more than an hour setting up. Like just a lot of time getting ready. But today was honestly great. I had a Counselor in Training. One of the YPL girls. Very sweet. But I was like. Why are you here. I dont need help. But she was fun to spend time with.

And the kids were really good. We did scraft prints and they were all really good listeners. Even the ones who didnt love the print making worked hard. And some of them really really got into it! I ran through the whole project and did a print to show them and then basically let them just do the thing. We had some vocab words, they used them! They did a good job keeping their prints clean! It was great. 

I had a couple hours after that first group and so I took a walk. Went to see CJ. Pet the ponies. I had lunch. 

But I was not 100% present. When I wasnt "On" for the kids, it was hard to like be positive for the morning. But the afternoon went better. 

The project continued to go well. And then I had fun hanging out with my CIT and she was fun to talk to. She told me that she thought I was a lot younger then I am and that I had a young spirit. I joked about being the oldest person in the world. But I was in a really good mood and had fun talking to her. 

She'll apparently be with me again tomorrow so thats nice. It made cleaning and resetting going easier. Even if I am out of baby wipes and that makes me feel like Im missing a step in my cleaning. 

The last group of the day was the younger kids, 4 and 5 year olds. Same as Ill have tomorrow. And this was an untested project. But once they got it it went so well! They used stamp pads as the actual stamp in a stencil. And because it was just a rectangle it gave the pieces some really neat textures. And then some of the kids just wanted to draw and the one boy made these hilarious drawings that he let me keep. 

I was in a good mood once we were all cleaned up. But I was low energy. And then my chest started hurting. Its like the front part of my arm and the part of my shoulder near my chest. Its like an ache. And over the next hour it got work and work. So I went and talked to Alexi, told her I wanted to go home. And she wanted me to see the nurse but honestly what is she going to do.  If it still hurts in the morning Ill go talk to her. But really I just wanted to be alone in my house. 

I stopped for a sandwich. And was home by 530. Which was good. And needed. I was tired and my arm aches and I felt dirty. Eating helped a little. I played a little animal crossing. I talked to my dad about possibly coming to visit. I took a long bath.  And now I am just laying in bed watching videos. 

I really hope I just wake up tomorrow and feel better. I know I will have to look into a dentist but not right now. I hope you all have a great day tomorrow. Take care of yourselves. Goodnight

[mean-yoongii-blog]

give vjinseok more love

((((me talking about how underappreciated these three are at 4am, where grammar doesnt exist and spelling is dumb. this is entirely my opinion but im pretty sure almost everyone can agree)))) being an army is hard. like, it's really fucking hard. you get to wake up in the morning and cry over seven men who still get hyped over receiving pokemon stuffies as prizes. that life is hard and it's probably where the rock bottom is, but whatever. being an army is harder when there's inequality going on around the group, screentime wise, line distribution wise, etc. this issue existed since 21 b.c.e and im here to finally speak my fucking mind for it. so bts has seven members, right? jungkook, jimin, jhope, suga, jin, tae, and namjoon. anyway, we all know that jikook are the main and lead vocalists of the group so it's very predictable that they get a lot of attention considering it's unavoidable to give them screentime since, you know, they're technically 50% of whatever the hell we're on about, whether it's about a song's line distribution or an mv's screentime. now, obviously there are the three rappers who dominate everything, be it an mv or whatnot. i mean, jesus, joonie walks in with this hard presence and he's literally gonna start owning the video. thats it. so we get that jikook is well known and very appreciated, right? suga and joon are also automatically given attention becsuse these two are powerful when it comes to rap. now, let's just focus on hoseok, tae and jin. let's start with our angel hobi. now, hope is definitely not underrated. we all know that his stage presence is very powerful. he's never not involved. however, the reason why i didn't group him with his fellow rappers is because, let's be real, jhope is not a rapper. he is not a rapper. he is a person who raps. according to jackson wang—tnx jackson tnx got7 woohoo—there's a complete difference between these two and i think u got it already. jhope is not underappreciated, his skills are. first of all, he came into the idol world with dancing the only skill in hand. we all know that he's never an amateur. he's always been a pro at dancing however when you're in a group u cant just fucking dance. you need to use your lips too and hope here has no experience on that. if bighit made him debut as a part of the vocal line, it could've been better as we all know that hobi has always dreamt of becoming a singer even as a child and his high note on the thot ver of n.o is enough to say that he may not be as good as jungkook but he's gr8 at it too. howeverrrrrrr he's not put as a vocalist. he's placed in the fucking rap line. no, im not saying he's bad as a rapper because he's not (ehem outro wings ehem). but if u place yourself in his shoes back when he became a trainee for most likely dancing and rapping, thats hard shit. hobi has no experience in rapping. but guess what? he fucking killed it. he slays every rap he gets. he spits fire in every cypher there is and yall telling me that he's not good? hell no go home in conclusion, for the fuckers who keep disregarding jung hoseok's abilities, back up because golden hyung can sing, dance and rap and i s2g if you still sleep on him ill choke u next is v. kim taehyung kim **that introduction still kills me every time** now before anything else, tae is not underrated. he's very popular actually. he's popular to armys and to his fellow idols as well. i assume this is because he has gr8 looks and he's very friendly and what a precious child amirite so why did i group him here? becAUSE BIGHIT THATS WHY. now, bighit is not a bad company. in fact it's a great company, really considerate to their boys all. i mean the most we can say is that at least it's not sm bc you feel me? ye anyway, the funny thing is everyone thinks that v is in an ok position because he's pretty and everyone loves him. YES tae is beautiful and YES hes lovable but we need to realize that to be recognized for your looks is ridiculous when they do it while ignoring your talent. taehyung is well known already but people also need to know his skill too. this is almost the same as hobi's story. let's get back to the trainee days in which taehyung literally came from a middle class fam and signed up for bighit without having a clue on what he could do. remember that he was inexperienced when it came to dancing, singing, and obviously rapping (but let's let him live for a little). his pretty face has always been pretty, but u cant debut without offering anything else can you? however, as inexperienced as he was, taehyung has talent. he had potential that is now proven talent. so what i dont really understand is why they didnt give this child the position to be a lead vocalist or even a main vocalist, much more fair distributed lines. the old eras—the hardcore gang bad boy wannabes concept—actually stars v a lot—ehem war of hormone, spine breaker, boy in luv, danger ehem—because they used his hard and deep ass voice. but ever since run era came, bc i believe thats where bts dropped the hard look, he barely got lines. i understand that his voice is different compared to others as the other four vocalists—including jh now bc he finally debuted as a vocal—are tenor whereas v has baritone however they can actually use his deep ass voice in great use. like in let me know—tnx min yoongi for this amazing song—, hold me tight, spring day, house of cards, love is not over and more of their ballads, it's shown how talented kim taehyung is because of his capability. not to mention, stigma proved that his voice can reach great ranges too and that goddamn falsetto stjll gets me everytime i havent even started on how sharp his moves are but i think everyone has gotten over that little issue that he should be a part of the dance line so in conclusion, taehyung is a precious beagle who's very talented and amazing that needs to be more appreciated for what he can do rather than just for his face bc nO lastly, sockjin hahahaha now when i became an army he caught my eye a lot bc of fire and he has an astonishing face. jin is a very beautiful person and just like tae, he's almost friends with everyone however, if someone is underrated, jin is your guy. now lets give this guy some slacks because he came into this world without knowing what he can do, just like v. he came without having no experience in dancing nor singing. he has passion for acting apparently but we'll get to that l8r. anyway what he could only offer is how beautiful he looks. now, first of all. let's all be honest that jin is not the best singer in the group. however he's not bad either. in fact, when i watched their mr removed, he's more stable than jimin and v and to sing with that much stability is impressive enough. i assume that jin doesnt hold on to talent but his potential is so great it's so large and it can actually drive him further. jin is always appreciated for how strong he is as a visual but never for how stable and smooth his voice is and that is absolutely rubbish. remember that he's a person who entered this world without any experience and yet here he is, breaking records on billboards and shit, and you're still sleeping on him? the thing is, bts is popular enough but jin isnt, bts is known but jin isnt and as someone who stans every member, this hurts. bts isnt just rm or jungkook. i have nothing against those two, but i present u kim seokjin here. he's full of potential. he can shine so bright if only there's an actual opportunity waiting for him. the reason why he isnt appreciated is because the company doesnt really give him much chance to show what he can do. yes admittedly he's not the best singer there is but how can someone improve when they dont give him the opportunity to improve? i dont need to give an example on w/c song has barely jin because lbr almost every song has barely jin. in addition, jin is a visual and yet his screentime is so little. i know that i shouldnt give a shit on the visual thing but if this guy isnt recognized for his position in singing, why wont u recognize him as a visual either? i understand that there are a lot of mvs that actually show him a lot—bst, boy in luv, spring day—but do u think this is enough? do u think that this is fair to him? jin is a 25 year old man. he's not naive. although he laughs it off whenever he's being ridiculed, I'm sure that he somewhat feels sad sometimes because of this. understand that this man is not just here for entertainment. understand that we cant only appreciate him for his jokes and awkwardness, that he's not just here to make us happy through the stunts they pull to give comedy. understand that he's not just the mom of this group. understand that he's probably gone through so much training to improve himself and yet get so little in return. understand that there's more to kim seokjin than what meets the eye. jin is not bias nor my bias wrecker but i have this special affection for him that makes me want to protect him at all cost. for the last part, the acting thing. now, im very happy for v for debuting as an actor because he slayed being hansung in hwarang. i will never say that he doesnt deserve that because he does. hes amazing at acting and i hope he get more solo projects since the drama. meanwhile, i look forward to jin having his own drama. i dont think it's necessary for him to have one now but hopefully it happens soon. jin has great potential in acting and considering this is his former dream, im sure that theres still passion for it somehow. in conclusion there is more to jin that we haven't seen because of the lack of opportunity given to him and he deserves so much more recognition to whar he gets now. this doesnt mean that im bias to anyone, okay? i adore each seven members equally. i dont want to raise v and bring down jungkook or raise jin and bring down jimin. no. whatever jikook gets at this moment, they deserve every bit of it. all i want is for them to get equal love. ////end

#amirite or amirite #im just saying #someone needs to say it and im saying it #i just want to sleep #i wrote this at 4 am #so the grammar is shit as well as the spelling #but it's 2017 no one cares about grammar #but do yall feel me #jin #kim seokjin #ksj #line distribution #v #kim taehyung #taehyung #tae #taetae #kth #j-hope #jhope #jung hoseok #jsk #hoseok #hobi #hope #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jjk #park jimin #nochu

[an-old-inca-poet-blog]

scared and educated

 I had been having an urge to start some type of project, but never got around to it. Being the begging of a new year I decided to make it my new years resolution. However I was struggling to come up with a solid topic. So on new years eve instead of doing some honest brainstorming I was out getting hammer like the rest of the world.I mean like totally shitfaced, trailer trashed, obliterated, whatever you wanna call it. As unlikely as it seems though i had a dream that same night well i wouldn't call it a dream though. More like a hybrid between a nightmare and the most breath taking thing you've ever experienced.

 You see it was memorable,but at the same time choppy and static like if video was on a low resolution while loading a chunk of the video playing and then stopping again.

At first i was in front of my computer in my study writing at an alarming speed as if my life depended on it.I could see the words but apparently i was typing so fast it looked as if i was scrolling and i was unable to read them. i felt a deep yearning in my heart though while i was there as if my heart never truly existed before that exact moment. Like you were a kid and somehow just figured out how to fly or catch their own shadow would be if they had been trying for so long. What was the meaning behind these words that were flying past my face?

Was it some billion dollar idea i was just documenting so i wouldn't forget later, a secret i had to uncover waiting to be exposed, a journal perhaps, none of these really had any meaning to me so why did this specific thing make my heart yearn for something.

then i was someplace new and there was a man not too old but not young either in their 20-30 range and we were in some type of facility.he didn't say anything to me either just serenely stared at me. not in a way that was bothering just in a way as a father might look upon his son or daughter from afar at the Olympics. just proudly in awe of the moment and their love for them.

and the presence i felt from this man was nothing id ever felt before. calming yet stern. joyful yet realistic. present but yet so otherworldly.

last there was a great abyss, darkness beyond belief, it felt as if i jumped head first into a black hole. great pain and anguish.

i woke in a lake of terror and sweat. had i not known it was sweat i wold have thought i pissed the bed.

I need to write a fucking book.

the next day i started my topic brainstorming

being the psychologist that i am i figured my best suited topic would be about psychology. it seemed like a no brainier although just because you know a lot about something doesn't mean you can write a book about it.

for a few days while driving back and forth from my work i was mulling over topics. and i decided i wanted to write about how different disorders affect different people and what those same people used to behave according to their file at least.

i emailed a few local specialized hospitals because i wanted to go and visit and talk to patients with the most extreme cases of these disorders to make my writing more interesting

finally i got a response to go to one of the more major hospitals in my area and in the state since i live within an hour and a half away i scheduled a weekend where i could go there all three days friday through sunday to get some material.

friday came and i was on my way there slightly nervous in extreme cases patient can some times act very irradicaly to new people but i was informed i would be accompanied by satff at all times

i met went through the typical diagnosis patients like multiple personality, schizophrenia, extreme bipolar, some strange anomaly cases and the last person was diagnosed with religious delusions and had been here since 2012

he we 33 when he was admitted

we walked down a long hallway to a cafeteria and there was a man in a wheelchair with a beard and long brown hair. and immediately as i entered the room i recognized the presence. the face had eluded me from the dream but this prescence was undeniable

as we walked over getting closer the man beckoned me over lovongly calling me by name

“Hey anon you wouldn’t believe how much joy it brings me seeing your face knowing you chose to come here’

i was astonished yet also expected something explainable to happen. i mean i just had real deja vu of this very moment so how could i be surprised but i was.

i followed his orders and took a seat infront of him as there was a chair waiting for me.

he says after i sit down” i haven't done this in ages but i guess times are like they were back then”

back then? back when?

“oh you know “  as he tried to make what i interpreted as a boat floating in the ocean gesture with his hands

whats that supposed to mean?

“well let me put it this way the book you write is going to be more than a best seller and i heard that from a good authority as he pointed up towards the cieling.

the all of a sudden he reached over and gently gasped my wrist i didnt back away i wasnt scared just startled

“can you see them?”

see what?

i hadnt noticed in my peripheral many bright lights light they just put high beams on a new care on but it was just out of my field of view.

then i looked around.....

thousands 

thousands upon thousands of beings i can only describe as angels stood filling the cafeteria.

all just shy of the 12 ft ceiling each shined as brilliant as the next.

with their hands together as if they were praying

and i think they were 

but then came the most beautiful music that would grace my ears as countless orchestra instruments played in unmatched unity and perfection

a voice which sounded like many chimed words i knew but didnt understand all so familiar.......(part 1)

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if you read this far thank you your time and attention

part two will be out soon so dont worry if you like it let me know

[green-and-greener]

peppy sunshine babey

hello world! im feeling.....excited to be alive again. the following items are the speculative reasons that facilitated this excitement:

- since i told joe that i am upset with him n flo not including me when they’re on good terms with each other, they have spent more time w me and flo asked to listen to my music and show her how to use the midi drums

- i told amelia this when we called at wed lunch time and nearly cried! living w them has been hard. and talking to amelia was such a gift. she is such a balance and i am so filled with light for her

- and spoke to katie for hours on a call last night too! (empathy as radical activism) and v much enjoyed it, she is lovely and we learn a lot from each other. i felt so heard!!

- crocheted some of a physical art project called blood witch. it is about periods and ritual and the divine feminine

- video called finn whilst watching this show called the show about the show which was meta of us and a quality bonding time. love that guy.

- moisturised my hands!! as i was watching Pose, and thought about how rare it is for me to massage my own hands; it feels like i pulled or strained something in my left knuckles, and i needed that tenderness

- working with fin is EVERYTHING. their leadership style of presenting us with a problem, and then working alongside us to find solutions is so empowering and motivating, and provides a dynamic of camaraderie + equality that really just makes me feel so much more driven

- made golden milk again last night, and sat drinking it with flo and joe and laughing about informercials about our life coaching company - The Shit And Wind Factory - in which flo models the correct use of a felted bluetit on a spoon

- flo was ill this morning so i brought her a hot water bottle and caffeine + paracetamol tablets and she was very grateful

- talked to my mama at break!!! we talked about belmont street and how much privilege and power she holds in her hands, owning two houses!! and with so many people with nowhere to live, let alone own, i needed her to know and feel that power. it felt brave of me, in a strange way that i didnt recognise, and my throat was tight and i needed to cry afterwards. i am scared of people disagreeing with me outright, and i know that its so much more effective and skilful to approach from the side rather than head-on, and i knew what i wanted to say was starkly opposite to her intentions, so it took a lot of trust in her. she’d been sending me links all day about ways i could possibly learn. sending me lots of love <3

so in conclusion i am an extrovert and feel nicest when im interacting a lot with other people and asserting what i want but being incredible sensitive and kind about it. thank you for coming to my TEDTalk.