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am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 months

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aita for "defending a pedo"

tw for pedophilia and child abuse

(⬆️ to find later)

this happened while ago

i (20F) was talking to a friend about weird life experiences. i was just returned from visiting my grandparents so i told the story about the neighbor that i had there

for context: i live in eastern europe, and for most of my childhood i lived back and forth between the city and the countryside. the countryside in the region im from and this particular village is tough. im talking no running water/ the toilet is in back yard, only one house out of 5 has an internet connection, child labour on the fields, the only school went up to only 8th grade, etc. not the most remote of villages but far far off any "modern society" standards.

during the half of the year where i was at my grandparents up until i was around 12, I had a neighbor my age that i used to play with. she was significantly poorer than us, objectively. while my grandparents allowed me to play with her, they wouldn't like me going to her house instead because of the living conditions. i have gotten fleas from her before and in general the smell and conditions. they also didn't like her because she would try to steal stuff, so i wasn't ever allowed to invite her inside, but they've gotten over this because she was just a kid. her father passed when we were young and her mother is a severe alcoholic and just an abusive monster. she was mostly taken care off by her godmother while her mother beat her, stole her allowance, sent her off to work to the neighbors and do a lot of chores kids shouldnt do etc. before you say "why didnt anyone call child protective services" read again the context this was all happening in. we did our best to help her, once i stopped going to my grandparents we'd ocasionally send her my old clothes that didn't fit me anymore bc her mother refused to buy her clothes. it was geniunely heartbreaking to see because she tried her best to be loved by her mother and to help her. trying to buy her gifts, to be obedient, to take more of the workload, etc.

as i started properly living in the city (500km away) we drifted apart heavily. we simply lived such complete different lives it was hard to talk to her about anything outside of basic niceties. i still cared about her, she is smart and geniunely pushed so hard to go to highschool in the nearest city which is 20km away despite her mother. she was always positive and optimistic and had an insane work ethic. i respected her and wished she had gotten the privilege i had of leaving the village and getting a life in the city but alas.

here's where the "conflict" is: when i was 18 (and she was too) i have heard from my grandparents that she's pregnant. they mentioned it off in passing so i asked them to elaborate bc that was complete news to me. they elaborated that when she was (i think) 17 she met this guy who was 26, they became a couple, and now they waited until she was of legal age to get married. and now she's pregnant. then they told me some stuff that happened pre-mariage, more of her mother's abuse and the likes. they also mention having met the guy and he seemed like he geniunely cared about my neighbor

i felt conflicted on this. on one hand, the age gap is fucked up plain and simple. on the other hand, she finally had her ticket to escape from her mother and her life and to move to the city and i was happy for her. on the other, being pregnant at 18 is insane to me. on the other hand, despite the grossness of the age gap, if the guy is decent its still better than what she would've dealt with if she stayed even longer with her mother. this year, while visiting my grandparents, she came over to visit with her kid and husband and we talked. she seemed geniunely happy. the guy is nice, the kid is healthy, love and pampered, and she finally has some meat on her bones and color in her face. i obviously dont know and cant know what their life is like in the privacy of their own home but compared to the girl i knew before all of this she was doing a lot better. she started a cosmotology school and is soon going to start working. im happy for her, i wish she didnt have to end up being pregnant and married at 18, but i was still happy for her.

everything i said here i told more or less verbatim to the friend i mentioned in the begining. their takeaway was that i was defending the actions of this guy, that i should be even more visibly digusted, and that i support abusive men because i didnt hate their relationship. i didnt know what to even reply to that, as they went off calling me disgusting, calling my village and culture that "allowed" this mariage to be socially acceptable "barbaric" and that i should've spoke up about it. i tried to reiterate my point and clarify that i am digusted by the age gap but the situation my neighbor in was so fucked that you couldnt really do much. they didn't reply, and i haven't heard from them since (idm, we were never really close)

but now im wonder. AITA for seeing this situation the way i do? should i have done more to help her or talk about it?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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sunsetling-12 · 5 months

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I WATCHED THE BALAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES AND I HAVE THINGS TO SAY

i loved the adaptation btw, of course its the hunger games franchise that we're talking about here

anyway, spoilers ahead

we dont see him making the infamous cabbage soup, but we do see the snows apartment falling apart

tigris is still everything to me, they pulled her lines straight from the books — unfortunately we don't see much of her, but hunter schafer slayed every time she was on screen

i was very confused abou the plinth prize being a thing since the beggining, but i think it made sense... idk a lot happened in the movie after coryo rescued sejanus from the arena so i dont know if they had the time

i was also very confused that the thing about the academy students mentoring the tributes was unknown until that moment in the movie, again, i think they did this to expose the most things at once

lucy gray singing after her reaping was everything to me

oh, and the snake on mayfair's back too, very girlboss of her

the scene in the zoo, when he's parading her around is a copy of the book, i liked it very much

unfortunately coryo and lucy gray barely interacted, not like they did in the book, but the scenes they had before she went into the arena were very good

i though they were going to skip arachne's death, but they didn't — they skipped her funeral, though, but thats fine

they did the scene with clemensia and the snakes but she dissappeared right after, we never got to see her skin changing to scales which i think was a miss

the explosion didn't kill as many of the mentors as it did in the book, not that they showed anyway, the only name mentioned was felix ravinstill

i loved that we got to see more of the arena than in the books

the scene where coryo rescues sejanus is the exact same and i wasn't expecting less

lucy gray doesnt kill wovey :D

she does kill dill D:

i kind of hate the fact that coryo gave her the compact with the poison inside already, it just... idk it didnt had the same impact

i missed that they cut lucky interviewing the mentors as their tributes got killed, i would've liked to se lysistrata talking about jessup and humanizing him for the capitol

the snakes scene is awesome, a lot more people die in this — including reaper, which i think was a better ending for him than the one he got in the book, he embraced his death and it was quite beautiful

lucy gray singing to the snakes was AMAZING, everything that i ever wanted

i kinda loved how coryo gave the handkerchief with her scent to the snakes, it was a very deliberate choice and not like the book that he "did without thinking straight"

viola davis as dr. gaul was PERFECT, everytime she stole everyone's moment, she's just as unhinged as she is in the book, we dont see as much, but its implied

i wished they showed her expetiments with the avoxes to get the point across on how she is, but thats fine

casca highbottom was also a little shit, love it

coryo and sejanus meeting on the train to go to twelve caught me off guard, but i like it

rachel sang a lot in the movie and i was there for it, it was perfect everytime

their reunion was sweet, i'll admit it

i wished they've show it where the covey lived in the seam, but we cut straight to where he meets her in the meadow

i loved their scene in the lake and lucy gray singing "lucy gray" (lol) but i wished she'd sing the valley song to maude ivory instead

i also loved that they made movie coryo be the only one — technically, she most likely sang it to the covey, but anyway — who heard her sing the hanging three since you know, in 65 years he'll be shitting his pants with katniss

the hanging of sejanus was so heartbreaking, him crying out for his Ma... i cried, i knew i was going to cry and i did it anyway

seeing lucy gray realize coryo also killed sejanus was pure gold, i loved seeing her visibly tensed up and starting to see him with an entire different lenses

the whole ending in the woods was just like the books, i think it made a little less ambiguous about lucy gray's end, but i liked it

(and also i always believed she lived anyway)

maybe im reading waaaay too much into tigris, but her calling snow by "coriolanus" instead of "coryo" made me think she's starting to see the man he'd become — and this man is nothing like the little cousin she loved

"snow lands on top" is the last line of the movie, perfection, if you asked me

the only thing that i didn't like was that i dont know if they made coryo as unhinged as he is in the books, because we're not in his head and reading his line of thought, in the movie he does seem very genuine and it does seem like he really likes and cares about sejanus and lucy gray — we don't see him comparing her to an object or the excuses he gives himself to like her because she's not "really district" therefore not a second class citizen — until the very end when she finds out about the whole sejanus-being-hanged-because-of-him thing

idk his breakdown kinda feels rushed in the end since we dont have the context of what was going on in his mind beforehand and i think people who dont read the book would think it came out of nowhere

aside from this, i loved the movie and im totally going to see it again as soon as i can lol

EDIT: i just fucking remembered that they dont say anywhere that the 10th Games were erased ????? why ????? is the whole point !!!! oh i would've love to hear him say "goodbye lucy gray, we hardly knew you" i would've gone insane

and also, she doesn't say "the show is not over until the mockingjay sings", and it makes me a little annoyed — like, idk where they couldve put this line, but i whish they did

#the hunger games #coriolanus snow #lucy gray baird #tbosas #tbosas movie #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the ballad of songbirds and snakes movie #tbosas spoilers #sejanus plinth #my thoughts about tbosas movie #i really liked it

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heyyallitsbeth · 26 days

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so i let the hyperfixation win.

over the past several hours i rewatched Sword Art Online and SAO 2.

(this time dubbed, last time i watched it subbed)

here are my thoughts:

-anyone who said the dub was bad is just wrong. Kirito's VA really shines in the more comedic or sweet moments (like when first meeting Yui), he reminds me of like a Peter Parker. and oh my lord, the breakdown by Suguha's VA was just a masterpiece. Still have chills from watching it.

-i have such a big appreciation for every character. This time it really shined through how good of characters Kirito, Asuna, and Suguha actually are.

Kirito's internal conflict throughout SAO2 is so good, grappling with their actions they needed to take in SAO to survive. and throughout all of it you can tell how much they truly loves their friends and family, and how kind hearted they really are. Asuna definitely fits into that role as well, being so ready to take care of Yui and so desperately wanting her to be safe and loved and cared for.

And oh my gosh Suguha. I remember people absolutely hated her arc because it is problematic, but the fact is, it's played entirely serious, her feelings arent taken as a joke. She has a genuine and real internal struggle for feeling things she feels she shouldnt, and how she feels those feelings arent reciprocated or cant be reciprocated, and having her heart broken twice by someone who she loves and someone who also does still genuinely love her. Its absolutely heartbreaking to watch.

Man, Sinon is still fantastic. She's still my absolute favorite, and I think she is one of the best characters in the show, and pretty much steals the show from her introduction. Her arc ties in so seamlessly with Kirito's and how they help eachother heal and grow is fantastic. Only complaint is we never got a scene of the rest of the Gals being jealous about the grenade hug she gave Kirito. After Kirito and Sinon nearly died, wouldve been some nice relief so you didnt feel like you yourself were dying.

-Speaking of, while there was definitely a ton of fanservice, the pseudo-harem aspect with the jokes were kinda cute, between characters seeing flirting happen around them, getting embarassed over it, its fun. Especially when people got jealous of Sinon flirting with Kirito over Excalibur. That part was very fun, since they did that infront of everyone else, almost like they were trying to get a rise out of them. Theyre not exactly the pinnacle of comedy, its definitely a trope, but theres something nostalgic about it that makes it kinda enjoyable.

-Speaking of the psuedo-harem, guys if all of you are constantly flirting with eachother (not just Kirito surprisingly, happens between the other girls frequently) and jealous of any affection with that, just start a polycule. You're a group of gamer girls playing MMOs together and all of you have slept in the same bed with eachother. Stop snipping at eachother and start dating eachother. Polyamory is pretty cool. Kirito and Asuna can still be the main duo and be the parents to Yui and Strea; but yall gotta work on the jealousy or just do what every other group of girl gamers does, polyamory. Lisbeth you should not be angrily drinking while watching Kirito and Asuna talk. (this is mostly a joke, im not actually saying they *have* to do a polycule, its more of a joke because of how tropey a lot of the flirting and jealousy is, and yknow, gay girls do polyamory, so dont take this part toooooo seriously.)

-Speaking of girls dating girls, the LGBT rep aint half bad. Argo canonically using both male and female pronouns is really cool! Most of the girls flirt with eachother a lot too, which is nice. Between the female avatar, the willingness to pretend to be a girl, the introversion, the desire to be an avatar in a virtual world more than irl, Kirito might be transgender. All good stuff here.

Overall, SAO is honestly way better than I remembered, even if some parts definitely show its age. You gotta piece it together a little bit with headcanons, but i do that with every show, nothing is perfect. Except Sinon. And a world where trans Kirito is canon. Those are perfect.

#sao #sword art online

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aroacesigma · 3 months

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For the ask game ummmmmmm obligatory sigma but also chuuya <3

ok !!!

first impression - sigma

honestly i thought he seemed like a nice enough guy going off the whole thing where he let the man win . a bit bossy when he was talking to teruko but honestly i was kind of rooting for anyone but the hunting dogs at the point so i was like yeahhh go buddy . you got this . also thought he was very gender

first impression - chuuya

i thought he was REALLY fucking cool . loved his design instantly . like about half this fandom i thought that was a ponytail for ages but noooo . terrible mullet . look dazai was my fave at that point but i still laughed when he got his ass kicked by him lmfao

impression now - sigma

ok . deep breaths kai you can say this normally . i love him very much and he is my fave . as you can all tell . finding out his whole backstory and watching him go through the sky casino arc and the mersault arc was so fucking ... god . hes so tragic . i love him so much . he tries so very hard all the time and nothing ever comes out of it does it . i just want him to be happy .... he really deserves it . hes not a bad person but hes done bad things out of necessity which honestly makes you root for him more doesnt it ? its so heartbreaking every chapter watching him do everything , throw himself into danger, hurt people, hurt himself just so they can get a home... i really hope he does . very much . fucking hell

impression now - chuuya

pretty much exactly the same . hes so fucking cool and i love him . i think he should be allowed a weekly quota of kicking the shit out of dazai . stormbringer tore my soul to shreds that hurt which made me feel terrible for him also . hes a wonderful character and i really do love him and wish this fandom treated him a little better

favourite moment - sigma

oughh this is hard . uh . probably when we get his backstory honestly . everything really makes a lot of sense about him once you get that . its really sad but it really hammers in just how desperate he is to find a home. they dont really have anything else , their sense of being human is shaky at best because no matter how much he says hes just an ordinary man he knows he isnt . so having a place to belong to make up for the fact that there is nothing like them in the world and there never will be is something hes totally desperate for and their backstory hammers that in HARD . and just the art is just so well done ...something about the image of him just sitting alone in the desert really shatters my heart every time . honourable mention also goes to when he kicked the shit out of teruko , purely because its an excellent counteraction to people saying dumb shit about him being weak and pathetic

favourite moment - chuuya

ohhh..i think i really like the scene where the flags throw him a party . its nice to see him hanging around with his friends . even if theyre all a little bit fucked up . he deserves nice things even if he didnt fucking get to keep them god asagiri why

idea for a story - sigma and chuuya

ok i NEED YALL TO HEAR ME OUT on this crack theory that definitely will not happen but imagine if it did . now i trust dazai will come back for sigma butttt if he didnt . well dont you think mori , who sent chuuya into mersault , would be extremely pleased to have someone with an ability like sigmas . and sigma wouldnt really have too many options would he . being left behind again would probably kill any trust he had in the ada and really all his ability has ever been suiteed for is criminal activity right ? and that is how we get pm!sigma . which means chuuya and sigma interactions . they can bond over shared experiences like having somewhat funky relationships with humanity, terrible haircuts theyre somehow pulling off, and wanting to kick the shit out of dazai .

unpopular opinion - sigma

this is more of a bsdtwt / bsdtok problem but yall do know if you like a characters design but not their actual character you can just say that instead of making up an overused fanon personality for them right

unpopular opinion - chuuya

idk if this is unpopular exactly but it is blatantly obvious when people only like him in relation to dazai like it is not subtle at all

favourite relationship - sigma

ooh this is hard . if we're talking about shipping exclusively then sigzai is my fave (almost got put off it by the aforementioned annoying bsdtwt though lmfao) . but i do also find it very interesting how he interacts with and views fyodor and nikolai . i do wish we had more on how they were like as an organisation

favourite relationship - chuuya

again, talking shipping id probably have to go with skk , but even in a non shipping context it really does interest me how him and dazai interact . theyre so fucking weird

favourite headcanon - sigma

living up to my duties as ceo of transmasc sigma , thats obviously my favourite headcanon . hes soooo trans guy coded its insane . bless him . also my headcanon that he always has that new book smell hanging around him no matter what . cause . yknow .

favourite headcanon - chuuya

ok i also love to headcanon chuuya as a trans guy like honestly asagiri what is it with you accidentally coding all your funky little guys as trans . also i reckon hes a tea drinker . he will fuck that shit up . hes got all the fancy ones yknow those really weird flavours that honestly are barely even tea anymore thats just a fancy drink but hey the box is pretty so

#asks #sepiamestus #sorry this took me forever #ask game #sigma bsd #chuuya

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priscirat · 7 months

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if its okay to ask can i have your long thoughts on your last art because i am oh so interested

oh absolutely

(keep in mind that i am discussing early story yukilisa which would be the same state as our current mygo line)

first of all on an individual level. soyo/lisa and sakiko/yukina have common themes/motivation.

soyo/lisa paralleles : seen as "motherly" (and in both cases its a behavior they both show when they Aren't Feeling Normal), scared to be left behind, needs to feel needed by other ppl to feel self worth, attachment to the past, dont want to overstep and is seen as the mediator

then visually. both having brown hair. if lisa didnt tie her hair it would Extremely ressemble soyos hair and vice versa. both key colors being warm colors (lisa/red and soyo/yellow)

sakiko/yukina paralleles : motivated by the downfall of father, willing to use others to gain back something that was lost, don't want any emotional attachment and yet are Extremely emotionally attached and motivated, musical genius in their own way

and once again visually. both got yellow eyes. if sakiko let down her hair she would look like yukina and someone actually DREW THAT, both having cold key colors (yukina/purple and sakiko/blue)

then when it comes to the relationship aspect. i often talk about how yukilisa managed to get thru their bad years because neither of them actually wanted to let go of the other. i often visualize it as threads to be cut. which neither yukina or lisa did. whereas for sakiko and soyo. sakiko was the one taking that step.

sakiko genuinely do not want soyo around anymore because she doesnt want her to get involved in her eventual mess and draws a big line to not cross for soyo. something that yukina never had the heart to do. she mentions how her caring for lisa feels like an obstacle to her goals. which is the same for sakiko who actually acted on it. it also makes you wonder. would lisa have stuck like soyo if yukina Did draw that line. to me the answer is yes because she feels a duty to have yukina smile again. and would have pushed for it the same way soyo is.

in a heartbreaking way, to me, sakiko wishes that soyo would want the same especially after treating her so coldly. which circles back to yukina Also wondering why lisa sticks to her when she doesnt act all that friendly to her when lisa keeps reaching out to her.

in the same way that. in episode 4. when sakiko learns that soyo got into another band. you can see that she is Actually affected by it, no matter how much distance she tries to put with the past. which then makes you wonder. how yukina would have reacted if lisa did get into another band. and we factually Know that she is convinced that lisa would have always ended up in roselia. so even back then she would have also been greatly affected if lisa did join another band.

it goes on and on and i am still seeing and connecting new points almost everyday. a lot of those parallels also falls on. what if yukina and/or lisa Acted that way. and somehow i feel like it does fall quite in line with their early character. which is why i also thought of captioning my art as something along the line of "you, that i could have been" to capture how much it is a matter of what if.

conlusion also its So Funnyyy : first yukina/lisa scene (episode of roselia 1)

first sakiko/soyo meeting after disbanding (mygo ep4)

#ask #anon #bandori #yukilisa #sakisoyo #its long lmao #id like to thanks my friends alice and chikin #to whomst i kept talking about and we kept connecting the points and its insane how Much. how much they mirror

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ohlookitsthearkhamknight · 10 months

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In honor of Pride Month I think its fair to absolutely lose it over these panels again

Everytime I get back to these panels its just so overwheming.

Over the entire series we see Slade love and be loved but it doesnt really last does it? All these women even addi but it never lasts it always dies out. They or Slade always leaves. Someone always leaves be it on purpose or not.

Except Wintergreen.

Out of all of them hell even Addi herself sometimes, Wintergreen has dealt with SO much shit from slade directly and or indirectly.

He of all people has more than enough reason to leave, turn around and never come back. He could leave him, rat him out, hell even kill him but he doesnt. Through everything he stays. Even when he has every reason even when it kills him. And thats just not something you see. I mean srsly. Show me another comic from that time period that had a man who at times could be horrible that had a bestfriend someone who stuck through everything for them. Someone who even without labeling it LOVED them. Because be honest with yourself. You dont stick with someone forever, be there for them for everything if you dont care, if you don't love them. And it could be platonic it could be more who cares. Its still insanely obvicous that Slade snd Billy cared so much about each other that even people around them, EVEN PAT WHO WAS ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED WITH SLADE AT THE TIME SAW IT.

Another thing about these 2 pages that will ALWAYS have me losing it is the conversation between pat and slade and the last 3 panels afterwards.

The conversation: Slade asks Pat to tell him about billy. Not only does he ask what kind of man he is the one question that stands out to me is "were we really that close". Then Pat answers that they were so close that it didnt even seem like just friends anymore because of how much they cared for each other. because be honest. It would have to take a lot of love to deal with what they deal with. She even adds that billy cares for him more than a friend and also says not in a fatherly way either. Even mentions if she didn't know any better she would think they were gay.

Panel 1: Slade and Pat sleep together after the entire conversation. The thing is the entire conversation leading up to them sleeping together was not about pat, its not about her and Slade, no its about Slade and WINTERGREEN. Even after everything said and done Slade doesnt talk. Pat just falls alseep after.

Panel 2: still no words are said but with a sleeping pat we see a wide awake slade. Hes obviously thinking but about what. Hes turned toward the right looking ahead deep in thought and this is where the 3rd panel rips my heart into pieces

Panel 3: Wintergreen is also wide awake in bed. Unlike slade though he isnt turned toward the right no he is turned toward the left. Almost as if he and slade are staring at each other. Still while no words are said nothing is written its very obvious this means something. It means alot. An entire conversation. Thinking about their closness. Their relationship. What they mean to each other.

And the most heartbreaking thing here. Is that Slade doesnt remember Wintergreen in this moment. When asked pat could have said something like. Oh. Bestfriend. Father figure. But no. She told the truth. She told as how everyone saw it. Wintergreen was more than just s friend. He loved slade. And however that may be taken HE LOVED SLADE. And Slade loved him.

There are so many more examples i could bring up. So many more times that showed how much there was between these 2. I wish this was something comic writers understood today. To make 2 characters and their relationship so interesting you have to show its good and bad sides. You need to show how they complete each other. How they help and mold each other. Even right here with unwritten words we see so much emotion. We see all the unwritten words. We see such a strong bond that you dont have to guess about anything. Another thing today is that this is before times were more accepting and i do truely wonder if this were to be written today what they could do with it. What would become of them. Because i think we can all agree slade is at his very best when with wintergreen. A common theme. Without wintergreen Slade just cant exist. Deathstroke can but slade needs his friend thats more than just a friend. He needs someone he loves. He needs his compass. And at this point billy doesnt just represent morals. He represents the very thing about slade. Love. Whether that be family friend whatever. How ever you look at it. Slades very thing is his love. For everyone around him. Its what makes him, him. Its what makes and breaks Slade and Deathstroke.

Anyways 3am rant over. Dont like it move on.

#i just spent 40 minutes on this lol.#arkhams slightly drunk rants #ignire typos #i put it throught auto correct a bunch i hope its good #anyways happy pride have some rants about old pirate man and his more than a friend friend #sladebilly #slade wilson #deathstroke #slade wilson and william wintergreen #william randolph wintergreen #william wintergreen #wintergreen #billy wintergreen #i know i probly psoted #this before but #i was looking again and had a lot more to say #pat trayce #viglante

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formula-red · 7 months

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man these kids. this week has been so insane.

(continued below the cut cus this will be way too long)

ok so for like. those of you who care to read to this and who may not know this. i’m working in a rural school in the usa and by nature of the area a lot of our kids are really traumatised. a lot don’t get enough to eat or sleep and we have a significant population living w.out water or electricity. and i’m workin with a lot of our little guys. most of the day i spend with k/1 so like 5-7 y/os and then at the end of the day i see some 3 and 5s so like 8 y/o then 10 y/os.

alright so with that out of the way. the attachment issues and trauma frequency being so high means these kids have a really tough time in school and a lot of behavioural/emotional issues. even our little guys; they’ll lash out a lot and hit us or cry and really don’t do so well sometimes. but omg. these sweet little babies. augh. they just need someone who gives a fuck about them and who is kind to them.

so, as some of u guys have seen, i have my own trauma lol and i know what its like to an extent– obviously my experience is my own and drastically different than theirs but. like. i know enough. so its really important to me to just be kind to these guys even when they’re being mean and acting out. and augh. the reactions i’ve gotten from it.

i’ve already been able to get a few kids down from like. full on sobbing snotty tears streaming down the face defcon 3 meltdowns. one of them (like a 7y/o) had been with another person for like 10-15 mins and when i traded places was still in full meltdown and i had her back in the classroom and tear free in like 5 minutes bc like. i just sat down with her on the floor and talked to her and more importantly fucking listened to her. and another boy (10 y/o) who had been so bad during this group work for the first half of the week. i talked to him and was like bud i really don’t want you to get in trouble that’s not at all my goal here but we have to turn some work in . and he was still refusing to participate but i noticed he was kind of looking on a few minutes later but didnt have a pencil. so i put my own pencil down on his paper without saying anything while still working with the other kids and he just put his head down for like 30s all emotional before picking it up and joining in and he’s been so much better for me now. like SOB.

but yesterday. oh man. YESTERDAY. (kdz has already had a detailed recount of this but.) i have two boys, one in kinder one in 1st grade, and they both have really tough home lives. and i don’t know what happened yesterday but both of them were like GLUED to me. i mean they were both having a hard time and at separate points during the day i had to take them aside and just be like. what’s goin on why are you acting like this today and both ended up basically crying and hugging me a bunch and then wouldn’t go anywhere without holding my hand. and now they’re my little buddies when i’m in their classroom. the little tiny one even said HE WAS SCARED WHEN I LEFT FOR A FEW MINUTES 😭😭😭 when i had come back he ran over and hugged me and was just like. stuck to me.

like augh. idk how to explain what it’s like working with them. it’s really special to be a safe person for them and to be able to help them be more comfortable at school and to help them learn but it’s so fucking heartbreaking man. i hate knowing these kids go home to all the shit they go through. and of course it can be really frustrating and hard when they are mean or act out but augh. man. these kids just need love. so bad. i genuinely care for them so much already . augh augh augh augh augh

#this is a huge word vomit. sorry #jd's wv

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thatgirl4815 · 6 months

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Elle..do we know anything about sandray endgame in the OF novel? ‘Cause atp i am 🥲✨SCARED✨

What is happening?? Ofts was going fine up until ep10 and ✨ep11✨ happens. What is jojo thinking?Why did they add Boeing in the penultimate episode. This should have happened during the halloween episode. Then this might have added much more sense.

Boeing: ep10:going after topmew;ep11:going after sandray;ep12:potentially going after boston(if the preview is correct) LIKE WTF IS THIS??!!

1. I am happy for bostonnick with whatever is going on for them(but i wanted an open relationship for them)

2. Topmew topmew topmew I have so many things to say about them like i am happy mew gave him another chance. (Not to make this about me But my ex was a cheater and i gave them a chance though we were happy most of the time i was paranoid if they might cheat again and it didnt end well..so this might be a ‘me’ problem)

3. Cheum babied him just like that, the girl who judges everyone and their mama for everything doesnt feel like what atom said and did is probelmatic????!!! Boston might have gone to jail!!!!

4. SANDRAY. Oh i am trying to collect proper words to write about them.. 💕BOYFRIENDS 💕they are painfully in love with each other😭 but sand baby ily i really do but wtf happened to youu!!i know you might have some lingering feelings about boeing(🤮)and thats okay but dont send away ray your BOYFRIEND and then go and talk to boeing(🤮)

OMG WHERE IS THIS GOING???HOW IS EP12 GONNA END??WE HAVE TOO MANY PROBLEMS TO SOLVE!!ARE WE REALLY GETTING SEASON2???ATP I AM NOT GONNA BE HAPPY WITH AN OPEN ENDING FOR SANDRAY I NEED NEED NEED HAPPY HAPPY BOYFRIEND SANDRAY

Unpopular opinion:they should have ended this with ep10 if they wanted to add boeing in the last 2 episodes

I am really so sorry for ranting so much i wanted to vent my anger somewhere🙏🙏

Love you lots!!❤️

I do not know anything about the novel besides a few snippets I've seen translated, but those are all of scenes we've already seen in the series. And I'm glad for that, because even though the anticipation is killing me, getting spoiled would honestly ruin the whole experience for me (and so close to the end would be heartbreaking).

I have to think that Jojo and the rest of the crew/writers know that adding an ex, particularly at the end of a series, is very common and--imo--is almost always a needless way of stirring up drama. The TopBoeingMew conflict was resolved fairly early in the ep, and I wasn't at all surprised with the way Boeing pursued Sand, but Sand's reaction still bothers me. I take it the writers are using the BoeingSandRay plot to 1) create conflict in SandRay's relationship after they've already resolved their other issues and 2) connect that conflict to Sand personally, seeing as many of the conflicts in SandRay's relationship have been from Ray's side of things.

It's certainly an interesting approach to use Sand's reaction to Boeing as further proof that he doesn't know how to no to people, even those that have hurt him most. While it's true that he didn't reciprocate Boeing's advances or say anything to suggest he was all for them, he also just allowed it to happen. Given what Boeing did to him and the state of his relationship with Ray, I find this behavior just generally odd. It's not entirely out of character, but...it is to some degree.

I'm pleasantly surprised that Nick is portrayed as way less pathetic in his relationship with Boston now. Yes, he was eager to get back with Boston last episode, but he's not groveling at his feet the way he was before. He even expresses hesitation over being in a relationship with Boston when he's going to move away soon. Interested to see if that dynamic will remain consistent or if Boeing will screw things up. (Also, about Cheum, I'm also quite frustrated that she brushes Atom's behavior to the side like it's nothing. Like that was a serious accusation people. Why are we acting like it's nothing??)

I'm glad we got that scene of Top crying to Mew and the discussion of paranoia and distrust in their relationship. I think they've established some healthy communication in the wake of Top's betrayal. This is a personal thing, and it's a valid reaction, but something about Mew's behavior towards Top at the beginning of the episode was incredibly annoying to me. First of all, using Boeing to make Top jealous is just stooping to Top's level, so I'm glad Mew quickly moved on from that. But something about Mew's expressions when talking to Top strike me as so entitled. Mew as a character rubs me the wrong way more often than not, and I'm tempted to say it's all because of that sense of entitlement just ebbing off of him at all times. He's justified in being angry at Top, but every time he's onscreen I can't help but get annoyed.

Prayer circle for happy boyfriends SandRay in the finale!! I'm a bit scared but still hopeful that once this Boeing mess is sorted out, they'll be okay. They were just fine until he came back, which tells me that once he's removed from the situation, they'll go back to being happy and in love. I choose to believe the best. 😊🥲 <3

#never apologize for ranting this is a ranting safe-zone!#we all need to vent after that ep #we'll get through these horrors together ❤️#only friends the series #only friends #ofts #sandray #raysand #topmew #bostonnick #only friends episode 11 #ask #only friends ask

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hockeyandhrsepwr · 1 year

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Got a plan for you

Random thought I had while listening to the song Dont you worry child By Swedish house mafia - the lyrics used are bolded (I’m supposed to be finishing an assignment, so I wrote this in like 15 minutes but enjoy:) )

pair: Thomas Bordeleau x reader

You & Thomas are in Montreal visiting his family, and he’s been showing you all of the places he caused chaos as a child. Today, youre taking his parents car somewhere, but you dont know anything other than he told you to wear comfy clothes.

You pull into a parking lot next to a lake and hop out. Its a pretty easy walk, he tells you, but I’ve something I want to show you. The two of you start out, chatting as you walk around. You cut through the forest on a little path that opens out onto a smaller lake, the most gorgeous shade of blue. He pulls you forwards, towards a little patch of flowers. He stands behind you, arms around your waist as you stare at the sight in front of you.

“Its beautiful” you breath out, afraid to talk too loud & disturb the silence. “Not as beautiful as you” he whispers in you ear, sending shivers down your spine. Four years together & he still makes you feel like a giddy teenager.

“You know, up on that hill across the blue lake” he points his finger just ahead of you but slightly to the left, “Thats where I had my first heartbreak” Youre a little confused as to why he’s bringing this up, but let him keep going. “She was my first serious girlfriend and I was 15, trying to decide whether or not to to got to the program or play in the Q. I was pretty set on the program, and she told me we could try long distance. Then, one day out of the blue we were over there & she told me that she couldn’t do it & we were done. I thought she was my great love, and I still remember how it all changed. I went home so upset, ready to stay here & play so we could stay together and my father said, dont you worry, child. Heavens got a plan for you. I didnt think it then but he was absolutely right”

He removes his arms and you turn around to see him getting down on one knee. “If I’d stayed here, I never would have met you, and I know that was heavens plan. There’s no one who can compare to you, and youre the one for me. Will you make me the happiest man alive & marry me?” He stares up at you, a soft expression on his face and a hopeful smile.

Tears are streaming down your face as you nod. “Yes! I love you so much.”

#thomas bordeleau #thomas bordeleau x reader #san jose barracuda #jjwritesshit #song fic-ish #hockey blurb #bordy #former umich boyo

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veresk-is-back-at-it-again · 10 months

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sometimes im genuinely surprised at how many people . genuinely ship cal and merrin? ESPECIALLY in the second game?

like dont get me wrong people can ship whatever they want but the way fandom latched onto calmerrin as THE ship for cal is ... weird to me? especially since we have bode? because for me calmerrin dynamic kind of. falls apart. in the second game. long rant below

so for me calmerrin were not a. GOOD. ship in the first game. not because i didnt like their dynamic- i thought it was kind cute and they had potential to grow together- but mostly because i absolutely headcanon them as a gay/lesbian duo. i genuinely thought that they worked best as friends- platonic soulmates, who find comfort in each other not in a desperate, romantice fire way, but in a way you sought comfort from hot coals in the fireplace. they will warm you for a long time, despite never being a straight out fire. but even back then, i could see the appeal- they were both survivors, both forced to carry the weight of their cultures, trying to salvage what they can from the unforgiving empire. cal, despite the heartbreak and suffering was a hopeful, and optimistic person, while merrin needed someone to show that not everything was bitterness and anger.

but then the second game came. and the mantis team broke up (for reasons, and yeah, it does have a justification) and when merrin talked with cal (dont rememver if it was before or after the kiss) she said that they didn’t share that unique survivor bond. at some level, it makes sense- there WERE a lot of families that got torn apart by the empire. but for me, her words didnt make a sliver of sense- their bond wasnt that of orphans, their bond was that of (basically) the sole survivors of entire cultures- not just their family was killed, their very existence as a jedi and a nightsister was paradoxal. because they didn’t just have to live on- they had to rebuild, scrap by scrap, inch by a blood-earned inch their cultures. thousands of years of traditions, language, practices. and then merrin tells cal that- that it wasnt unique? that their bond was no more than that of orphans? it didnt sit right with me.

and of course, cal changed. cal isnt nearly as hopeful- he still hopes, of course, but he became hardened, more bitter and anxious (and it probably has to do with him losing his third family. like. seriously. my man has at this point a very much worsening cocktail of survivors guilt, ptsd, attachment issues and lord knows what else). merrin is older now, she is more experienced, but she didnt really... change, i think. maybe she is more optimistic, though we didnt see it properly.

also can i say something, since we’re all here anyway? why the fuck was greez the only one to hug that kid when meeting cal after all this time? genuinely. like, what is up with that? cere and merrin barely pat his shoulder. would it kill them to give cal a hug? this is why greez is my favorite, his love isnt carefully contained and hidden.

back on track. so in the first part, we had this wonderful mix- cal would be the bright-eyes, optimistic counterpart to merrins guarded, and cautious presence. but in this game the only way i see them having a similar bond is merrin helping cal to fight the darkness which is... okay, i guess. but there is no back and forth. i dont see how they could make each other better people. i dont see how they could work as anything but platonic soulmates. to me, cal doesnt want merrin- he doesnt truly want her as his romantic partner. he wants people to stop leaving him.

this is probably very messy and maybe doesnt make sense, but cut me some slack, i am barely functional on my best days.

#jedi fallen order #jedi survivor #star wars #star wars jedi survivor #long rant #istg people at this point ship calmerrin bc they want their mc to have a goth gf

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buckieduckie2 · 1 year

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I wanna talk about a hyperfixation of mine: a little but of Queer History- W.H. Auden and gay poets

i would like to share with you a little bit of queer history, not super in depth but i want to share it with anyone whos not aware nonetheless (also i have no idea how many people know about this, so if this turns into a "oh everybody knows THAT"... hush. i dont care.

Okay, so a while ago I had to do a project on some poets asigned to me and write a short bio on them, talking about their life and career and things like that. So to get our information, our teacher had us looking in the archives and read a larger biography already written on them.... yeah.

So as I was reading this biography, i came across a part discussing his collaborators and one of the paragraphs mentioned W.H. Auden writing librettos with “Chester Kallman, an American poet and close friend who lived with him for more than 20 years," BITCH be so frrr 💀💀💀

So I read that like and immediately was like, hmm that sounds familiar 😐.... 🤨 but then I read farther into the biography and it said he had a wife and he was also super Christian so i was like... aw gUeSs hEs nOt gAy 😞

So yeah then I had to include a poem if his on the little infographic we were all making so i found one that I really, really liked called "Stop All The Clocks"

Stop All the Clocks

by W.H. Auden

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone, Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone, Silence the pianos and with muffled drum Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead, Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves, Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West, My working week and my Sunday rest, My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one; Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun; Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood. For nothing now can ever come to any good.

Wow that poem is reall beautiful and really, really heartbreaking.

Yeah so I read that poem and immediately noticed the use of He/Him pronouns and thought... thats gay Soooooooo what did I do? I looked up if he was gay or not! And you know what google said? Yeah! He was!

One google search told me more about this man than an official archive with professionals 😐

W.H. Audens lifelong partner was Chester Kallman, and they translated/wrote (?) librettos together <3

Didn't you say he was super Christian tho...

Yeah, I did, and yeah, he was. But guess what? Gay people can be Christians too, and this man managed to do it in the fucking 40s till his death in '73. Albeit this came with many struggles internally, he still lived with Kallman till his death. So yeah, gay people had happy endings back then, even the religious ones :)

He also had some pretty rocking views on religion. Auden, thoughout his younger life, hadn't ever been part of any faith until a trip to Spain... we could get into that but we won't. Anyways, his pretty rocking opinion on religion? Don't force it on children. It's dumb and it brainwashes them cause they can't make the decision themselves. He probably said it better but you get my point.

Also he had a lot of kick-ass political opinions too.

Wait but didn't you say he had a wife?

Yeah but like, what gay man in the last 1084308394 centuries didnt? I mean c'mon.

Anyways so heres where things really start kicking....

W.H. Auden's wife was Erika Mann. Erika Mann was an actress from Germany, and the only reason she married W.H. Auden was so she could get an American passport.

And GUESS WHAT??? She was a lesbian.

MUAHAHAHHAA anyways.

Erika Mann also had a lover named Therese Giehse, a German actress as well who was introduced to John Hampson, an English novelist, via Auden. Hampson and Giehse both married so they could to go to the United States.

Anyways so things got more fun when I found out that Erika's brother was also gay. :DDDDD

His name was Klaus Mann, and he was an openly gay man. I don't want to get into too much detail here though because his life was tragic and there's a hole burning into my stomach because it makes me sad :((((

ANYWAYYSYSYYYYYSSSSS

So yeah! That was my "brief" little dive into W.H. Auden and his mutuals :)))))) I was literally SO greatful that I was asigned W.H. Auden when I started researching him in a little bit more depth because the poets had been assigned at random, so yeah this was really perfect :)

and BRO I LITERALLY COULD NOT IT WAS SO HILARIOUS TO ME- THE MORE AND MORE RESEARCH I DID THE MORE PEOPLE ENDED UP BEING QUEER AND IT WAS JUST SO HILARIOUS IN THE BEST WAY 😭😭😭 i was reeling i was literally so happy

ANYWAYS hope yall enjoyed that <333 hopefully this wasnt all TOO commonly known stuff i hope i taught at least one person something but either way- if you got this far THANKS FOR LISTENING TO ME TALK ABOUT THIS I REALLY LOVE TALKING ABOUT THIS ITS TOTALLY A HYPERFIXATION OF MINE

and agh~ can we talk about the amount of queerplatonic and mlm wlw solididarity? i love.

also disclaimer if anyone wants to call me out on my bullshit: yeah Kallman ended his sexual relationship with Auden in 1941 cause of like... a problem with mutual fidelity. they still lived together till death tho and Auden described their relationship as a marriage so shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i dont wanna go in depth rn 😡

also anyone please tell me if i got something horribly wrong dont be afraid to burst my bubble with the sweet smell of truth

Below the cut: photos of W.H. Auden Chester Kallman

W.H. Auden

W.H. Auden with Chester Kallman

@l0v3c0r3e you better read this or istg 👹

#the last photo is so pretty <3 #even if its not actually chester with auden its still pretty #im pretty sure its auden tho #looks like him #wh auden #chester kallman #erika mann #gay poets #gay history #queer history #gay literature #gay poems #goodness gracious

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youngpettyqueen · 1 year

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more MASH episodes I would write if I were in charge (once again credit to @blessyouhawkeyefor the original idea)

"Dear X" episode with Margaret!! why didnt we get one!!

Radar's 20th birthday. set up the first half of the episode where it seems like everybody's too busy to do much more than give him a quick 'happy birthday' in passing, but the second half flips to everyone else's POV as they agonize over keeping the big surprise party theyre planning for him a secret. finally at the end they give him his big surprise, everybody's there and there's a big cake, Hawkeye makes a toast to Radar not being a kid anymore, very sweet and heartfelt. Radar's a bit misty-eyed but he cant stop smiling. endcap of the episode you see Radar look up like he can hear choppers, and you think you're about to get the inevitable announcement that they have to go to work... but he stops and says he doesnt hear anything. he doesnt hear anything at all. and they party all night long

BJ grapples with missing Erin's first birthday, and it's Potter who talks to him and relates to him by listing each birthday he missed of his own daughter's, and of Mildred's, while he was away in various wars

its Valentine's Day and Margaret, Klinger, and Hawkeye decide to form a Heartbreak Club and lament about their failed relationships. would have a lot of flashbacks of various friendships within the core cast (not clip-show style but more like Letters and Where There's a Will, There's a War) as the three of them realize that while they've struck out so far with romance, they've still got a whole lot of love in their lives

some sort of chaos has happened in camp and everyone's giving wildly different, contradicting accounts of what happened to Potter

some sort of chaos has happened in camp and the mystery of who's responsible is exclusively being revealed piece by piece through people talking to Mulcahy

#mash #im having fun with this can you tell

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thesockbehindthewashingmachine · 6 months

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long ass rant abt dean winchester bc hes so me

this is just my personal opinion, if anyone has anything to add <as long as its not like attacking any1 or anything> feel free to add to it

Dean's life is honestly poetic in the most heartbreaking way. He was destined to be a weapon by GOD HIMSELF, and no matter what he did, even killing god, he couldnt escape the fact that he was always meant to bring on or be a symbol of the end of the world.

Over 15 years we got to watch him slowly give up on everything he stood for, and become the man that ruined his life. He became to jack what john was to him and he doesnt even realise it.

Years of losing everyone he loved made him so bitter that he didnt want to let himself care about anyone, but he still risked and gave his life to save them, because he knows he doesnt REALLY have another choice, and because he does love people, with all of his being. Its what he's best at.

Dean crits can say a lot of stuff about him, but they cant say that he didnt love selflessly, because he did. He was terrified his entire life, and it came out as anger in multiple occassions, but he still did everything he possibly could to take care of his self appointed family.

He felt like he was nothing but an accessory to his brother, and then when it was revealed he had his very own distinct 'purpose' (which ultimately still was just using him as a pawn in a game nobody would explain the rules of) it was to kill the one person he loved more than anything <not in a wincest way>. At every turn the world tried to turn him against his brother, who he was forced to raise pretty much by himself since the age of FOUR. And even when he knew that he *had* to stop his brother, he couldnt bring himself to do it because if he didnt have his loyalty, what did he have?

He was meant to save the world but he risked it every time to protect his little brother, while believing nobody would do the same for him. It makes me so mad when people talk shit about him or call him selfish, because he ISNT selfish. Nothing he did was for himself, it was all for the people he loved.

Thats part of the reason why his relationship with cas is so important, because cas was equally as devoted <if not more> as dean was to him, and dean didnt *think* (think is the keyword here) he previously had or deserved that. Cas's devotion to protecting him showed him that he was worth being protected, not because he was a useful weapon or out of obligation, but because he was someone who could genuinely be cared about. People could love him without being forced to, and i honestly think he didnt know that before.

#Dean winchester #Im so normal abt him #supernatural #Destiel implied but even if its not romantic my point still stands

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sjullay · 9 months

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Why the Film Adaptation of Red White and Royal Blue Missed the Mark

By Sera B

*This is my word vomit response essay to the movie and I didnt go back and edit it so sorry for any typos or grammar issues

** I use the word queer a lot, it is a word I believe is reclaimed and it is one I use to refer to myself

As an avid lover of Casey McQuiston's work, I was excited when I heard their 2019 novel Red White and Royal Blue was being made into a film. As a queer person, I have loved the author’s contributions to LGBT+ storytelling for both YA and romance readers. Their writing brings light and joy to queer stories while making me as a reader feel seen and understood.

So I will briefly start with what the movie did well.

All of the important scenes were there… The kiss, the turkey, the lake, the museum, etc. The movie gave us a line drawing of the plot while the book gave us the statue of David. The casting of Taylor Zakhar Perez and Nicholas Galitzine as Alex and Henry was in my opinion and fantastic choice. These two clearly understood their characters, had fantastic chemistry with one another, and showed amazing emotion throughout their acting. They were so gentle with each other and you could feel the love between Henry and Alex even with the pitfalls of the plot. Secondly, the physical intimacy was fun, and sexy, and fairly accurate. You would not believe the number of times I have yelled at my tv screen because a queer couple in a show is having sex in a position that doesn't make any sense for queer sex. Additionally, there were a few fun details that brought a smile to my face. Most notably the British Prime Minister is portrayed by a black woman, and the choice to bring on gay icon Stephen Fry as the King of England (instead of the Queen of England as written in the book.

So let's get on with what was wrong with the movie (and sadly it was quite a lot).

The compression of the plot

As I began the film I immediately noticed that the pacing felt jump and off-putting. While I understand the time constraints of a movie over a book, the choices the filmmakers made left little room for the audience to get to know these characters. The scene transitions felt like jump cuts from one important scene to the next with little care for the impact or the arch of the story.

The Romance

Where were my details?

The biggest heartbreak for me in watching this movie was the complete eradication of details that made these men who they are. I fell in love with Henry and Alex reading about two dorks with big hearts who helped figure each other out through grief, and bravery, and political climates, and family dysfunction. They are thoughtful and funny and talk like I do and the details are what made them interesting and real.

Star Wars

I know this may have been a licensing issue but still… To me, the Star Wars scene in the Hospital is the first time Alex as well as the readers get to see Henry. We see that he doesn’t know that he is brave and that he really does believe that anyone can be a hero. Later in the emails Star Wars becomes a cute joke between our romantic leads and shows a story that to some level reflects their own. A princess who is being told her role but finds that she is in control and she is powerful falling in love with a rouge bandit just trying to find his way in the world. This reference also shows that Henry’s taste is relatable and not just the pompous posh of the royal family. In the end, the mural of Henry and Alex as Lea and Han is a symbol of hope, rebellion, and queer liberation.

Texts, Emails, and the first Phone Call

While the movie did well the first texts, building from teasing quips in response to tabloid articles slowly into longer friendship building conversation. But as it progressed they stopped including the body of most of the emails sent between the two. The few they included were included as seemingly phone conversations but were instead filmed as in person conversations. Setting a confusing tone to the scenes from the start. Then the turkey call was short and was not the first time they had called. The main subjects of this call and how it was the first time they really started to know each other were also brushed passed for the comedy of their being a turkey in Alex’s room. Alex slowly falling and not really realizing it is instead replaced by a series of fast surface level texts and calls that simply establish that they don't hate each other anymore. The feeling you get as a reader of enemies falling into friendship falling into a situationship then falling in love is almost completely lost.

History Huh?

One detail of the book that may have seemed small to many but made my heart sing was the post scripts on each email. The historically queer quotes gave context to their love story and showed readers how we really have always been here and queer. The movie omitted not only those but all historical context as to why this love story is important. The museum scene is important not just because it's a safe place for Henry but because he gets to come here and learn! Learn that there was a gay king of England who openly expressed his love. And that the art that was gifted out of that queer relationship was one of the few things freely given to the British monarchy, not just in their museums as an unjust product of colonialism and violence.

Additionally, the museum scene was changed to have Alex offer to dance which to me felt a bit off because that made it so the romance never really came from Henry. (This is a whole other rant but it felt like they just wanted to put Henry in the role of a woman instead of honoring the differing gender dynamics in queer relationships)

Then the song that plays both here and later during the piano scene is not Your Song by the gay icon Elton John. To me, Your Song was perfect here as it gave Henry an outlet to express his true feelings and implied hope for a future where they could tell everybody (this is their song ;)).

Henry’s Charity Work

Henry in this story also seemed to not do anything. He was the prince, he attended events and meetings, and he knows how to play polo and piano. Thats it. We got nothing about what he thinks, what he likes to do, or who he is when he is just Henry Fox and not Prince of Britain. As said above we don't know he likes Star Wars, or that his fact sheet was written for him to make him sound better to the crown. We don't know he devotes his time to working with Pez to create charities and give as much of his royal family money away as he is allowed. We don't know his love for music, that he shares with Bee. We don’t know his love for art and history and queer stories. While the movie says it is showing us Henry Fox (the boy brave enough to be gay I guess). It really only shows us one dimensional Henry who is scared of what his family and the world will think.

Why were other characters even included?

With the obvious start to the movie showing us the lack of integral characters such as June and Rapheal Luna I thought well at least we will get the fun, joyful dynamics of Nora, Pex, and Bee with our iconic star crossed political figures. Sadly this was not the case. With the most screen time, Nora became a soundboard for whenever Alex needed to say something out loud to someone who wasn't Henry, Her role otherwise was superficial, silent, and really almost nonexistent. Even more, hidden away was the best friend to his royal heartiness Pez! Pez had one line in the entire movie and immediately became the prop to the already prop character Nora. This was especially shocking to me as it tokenized both of these black characters both of whom get rich interesting personalities and lives within McQuiston's world. Lastly, Bee. In the book, her character serves as a primary companion to Henry and as another example of how the British royal family has failed these young people. In the film, her backstory and dynamic with Henry was completely erased and she served a very similar purpose to Nora, a sounding board for the few times Henry wasn't talking to Alex. She again felt like a beautiful character that became a flat prop waiting to be picked up only when she is deemed useful enough.

Henry’s Mom and Dad

The lack of parental influence on Henry's story may feel appropriate based on how the royal family really has failed him in both the book and the movie the eradication of the story of his parents further robs Henry of his own emotional depth. While the film does acknowledge the death of Henry's dad it is only to explain why he was a prick to Alex one time. In the book, we are able to see the weight Henry carries and how he goes through grieving periods and depression because of the traumatic loss of his father. His father was the person who understood him and helped keep him and Bee out from under the intense judgment of the crown. Additionally not having Henry's father included means his mother isn't as well. Her grief is a mirror of Henry’s and (in the book) we see her getting braver as a reaction to Henry’s strength and bravery. It shows a story of a mother who got lost in herself and was still able to find her way back and fight for her children. She is the carrier of change for the royal standard.

The 2016 and 2020 Elections

While the Red White and Royal Blue movie still technically included an election, the context for why this election was important was completely omitted. Casey McQuiston's book was written as a direct response to the 2016 election and imagined a kinder world in which instead of Trump we had the first female president of the united states. The speeches in the book direct acknowledge the hate that has been so prevalent in recent years and how all people still deserve a voice at the table. By disregarding this context the urgency and heart of the movie fell flat again. Instead of a corrupt politician working to out Alex to ruin his mother's campaign the film had a petty gay journalist who used Alex to get his five minutes of fame. Not only does this feel homophobic but the catty nature of the articles and interview portrayed makes the entire plot point of Alex and Henry being outed to the world feel flippant. The film completely lost the weight of these two boys being maliciously outed to the entire world without their consent.

In the End

My biggest question at the end of this movie is why don't we get to see the crowd? If I had not read the book I think I would have been left wondering who the crowd was and why are they important past just being people to simply see Henry and Alex go onto the balcony? In the book, these crowds are reported to be not just all over England but all over the world. They are crowds with signs and shirts and flags and rainbows. They are the diversity of the world showing up for these young men who are like them. The lack of these images also made me further miss many of the missing details I discussed above (Amy’s queer and transness, Han and Leia mural, history huh shirts, etc).

While I really wanted to love this film as much as I love its source material I really felt that the movie completely missed the heart of Alex and Henry’s story. Without the context of their detailed interactions, their relationships with others, and their place within our world the story fell flat. I didn't know what message I was supposed to get besides just the basic being gay isn't shameful. And if the point wasn't a message and was just a love story then I really wanted to feel their love. I am not saying the book was perfect but I personally loved it and wish the movie had carried its same soul.

I know there is lots more than I put in this post and please feel free to discuss!

Thanks for letting me word vomit my feelings out :)

#red white and royal blue #casey mcquiston #alex claremont diaz #prince henry of wales #henry x alex #alex x henry

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