If you used to be a heavy drinker & now you just smoke weed! YOURE DOING GREAT
if you used to smoke weed 24/7 and don’t now, but you just have a few beer or drinks every blue moon, YOURE DOING GREAT
if you were a pill head and now on methadone or subs, YOURE DOING GREAT
if you were a down head or a meth head and now you just smoke weed to cope with the side effects those drugs put on ur body for the rest of your life, YOURE DOING GREAT.
If you went cold turkey on everything all at once and never put a single substance in to your body after that, I’m proud of you! You’re doing great!
We are all just doing the best we fucking can!
don’t ever let someone tell your recovery journey isn’t “considered” recovery!
Being a survivor of childhood abuse as an adult is so wild because I'll meet people who were adults while I was experiencing my trauma and they'll be like "ohwow I'm glad you're okay now." And I'm like
One week ago I accomplished 6 months of being clean and sober, totally abstinent from ALL drugs (including weed). I have never had this much time since I was 16 years old. I can’t tell you how I did it. I’m in shock and awe at myself. My family is actually proud of me. The people I love can sleep soundly. I no longer cause chaos in everything I touch. I feel free.
I guess I did it one day at a time. That’s all I could do. I’ve been wanting to use again, but logically it makes no sense. I can’t go backwards - I’ve worked so hard to get here. I currently have covid but I have never been so in love with my life. Most days are endless and boring, but occasionally I am surrounded by burning bright souls. My sister, my parents, my friends - admiring my brothers accomplishments from afar - I love them all so much.
If you are hopeless and alone, I understand you. I feel you. I was once in your shoes and I wanted to die. I wanted to do fentanyl, fall out, and pass away. But I wasn’t ready to put my loved ones through my funeral. I wasn’t ready to leave a shore of monumental pain. Going to rehab for the 5th time truly fucking saved my life.
I can get one year. I know it! Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers throughout this journey - they worked!
Reality check: this is how my depression room looks like AFTER cleaning for a while. Just sharing in case someone needs a reminder that they are not alone and it's ok if you're space is not super neat.
There will be good days. They seem so far away right now, but they will come and they will be wonderful.
Will they make it all worth it? Probably not, but they don't have to. All that matters is that they will be there. That at first they'll be a break, and eventually, they'll come two in a row.
Once you get two in a row, it won't be too long till there's three in a row, four in a row, a whole week, two weeks and then, one day, there will be mostly good days.
One day you'll be able to have a bad day, and it just be a bad day. It doesn't make it worth it, but that's okay, it doesn't have to.