comparison and analysis on eve and mark's colors
i know this miggght be me overthinking but i really need to get it out of my system ahahajshajsha
Pink is definitely Eve's signature color, it's the main color of her costume yet somehow you don't see that in her casual attire. As for Mark, no doubt his signature color is blue (even yellow can be included), and that's obvious in both his costume and his casual attire.
this post contains pics from season 1 and the atom eve special, putting a cut here cause this is lowkey long so,,,, oops-
Eve wore pink a LOT when she was a kid, it's in her every outfit throughout all the time skips in the special. When a character has a signature color, it's something that's reflected in (nearly all of) their outfit/s.
So where did the pink go on Eve's casual attire on season 1? Where did she even got the idea of wearing yellow of all colors when it's so far from her favorite color? There's red that when you mix it with white, it gives you pink. So she could have had a red top and white pants in her current casual attire, but that's not the case.
We got our answer on who she got the idea of wearing yellow from in the Atom Eve special: it was from Betsy.
There's a key thing that I noticed from the shade of yellow Betsy wore and what Eve is currently wearing. Betsy's yellow seemed happier. It was more vibrant.
Comparing Betsy's yellow to Eve, Eve's yellow is lighter. It's dull. As if it was drained of its vibrancy. And with what we saw of Eve's past in the special, it checks out that she must've have become so, so tired of so many things.
In animated series, yellow is often associated with warm, happy, and energetic characters. But when it comes to cinematography, yellow represents other things. From the link, I think cowardice is the symbolism of Betsy's yellow - due to her fear of Eve not being "normal" and her inability to accept Eve as she is. And @mandareeboo even pointed out Betsy telling Eve to "try harder" which leads to the symbolism of yellow that I associate with Eve: insecurity. There is no bigger source of insecurity than having your own parent say that to you, especially at a young age when a lot of things feel they're scary and overwhelming that you need a parent to guide you through it but instead they just tell you to repress yourself.
It's no wonder that Eve's yellow looked pale in comparison to past Betsy's yellow, pretending for years must have been exhauasting.
(Before anyone comment that Zak could be the reason Eve wore yellow instead of Betsy, I have an explanation I'm going to be giving later so please bear with me on this one hahahsdfjahsfda)
Now on to Mark!!
In the Atom Eve special, Debbie wore no shades of either blue or green. In fact, her top's color leans more to give a nod to Nolan's signature color (red). That, and their family pictures from season 1 showed that aside from Debbie, there was a time that Mark wore red too.
Compared to Eve and Betsy, I find it so fascinating that the opposite applies for Mark and Debbie.
We can see that kid Mark's shorts and top are currently the colors of Debbie's top and pants.
It was a nice switch to see the mom's colors reflecting her child. You often see the kid copying the color of their parent/s. This doesn't necessarily mean Debbie copied Mark, as a mom, this is her way of commemorating her son.
The two stripes on Mark is a brighter shade of aquamarine while Debbie's top is a darker shade of Caribbean green, and both colors are near to each other in the color spectrum. Which is definitely something we can describe their relationship: they are close to each other.
I always thought that the stripes across Mark's chest was sort of a subtle design thing to show that he keeps his mom, who represents his humanity, close to his heart. Seeing that Debbie got her colors from kid Mark adds a whole new layer to it.
This is the part where I compare the then & the now:
The reason why I mentioned Eve would never have picked up yellow with Zak in mind was that he was just a temporary figure in her life. Eve used to wear pink so much before, it was her favorite - so one can assume that the color itself brought her joy. You see Betsy wearing pink (this is the episode Eve left "home"). So my reasoning for Betsy wearing this color was to appease Eve, while Eve wore yellow to represent her trying to please her mom.
For Debbie and Mark, it was crucial for Debbie to wear the colors Mark wore as a kid. Throughout the series, we see how desperate Mark wanted to be like Nolan, to be good with his powers so he can be a good hero. One would think that Mark would have incorporated red in his outfit, but he didn't. What stood in the place of red in Mark's outfits was yellow, a color that's close to red in the rainbow arrangement. Using the same link for the meanings of the color yellow in cinematography from earlier, Mark's yellow symbolizes two things: naivety and idealization.
See how Mark has a yellow button-up underneath his sweater? It's his naivety about his father, it's not all out there yet it's on all the ends of his sweater as if making sure you know that the yellow is something that should be seen. And Mark's yellow I in his costume? That's idealization. In his eyes, Omni-Man is (probably, I can't speak for Mark 100%) the best hero. He idolizes his dad, there was never a doubt about it. He has put Nolan in such a high standard that there was more yellow in his costume to represent his idealization rather than his own signature blue.
That's why it's so important that Debbie wore his colors from the Atom Eve special in season 1. That Mark sees that on his mom. It was a reminder of kid Mark. That even then, he was just as precious. That he mattered even wayyyy before he had powers. That he mattered because of his humanity.
[inhales deeply to catch my breath] NOW FOR THE FINAL PART!!
i'm sorry this is so long i had so many thoughts about colors, color symbolism in characters is so personal to me.
you guys can skip these pics and list cause this is kinnnnd of a stretch now hahajsdfha - feel free to go straight at the portion after the bullet points end, that's just my final ramblings dedicated for season 2
Back to topic of colors!! It's obvious at this point how relevant both Mark and Eve's moms are when it comes to their colors. So it leaves me with two remaining things about Mark and Eve: (1) the color red on Mark on his casual outfit and (2) the color pink on Eve on her casual outfit
The only moments we saw red on Mark that isn't blood is when he wore his bag. Now I know this is a pretty small thing but that bag could literally be ANY other color - and it isn't, it's specifically red. It could have been white to match his shoes or black to match his hair but it's neither of that. It's red. It's Nolan.
I think it's really important to know the relevance of that red bag, especially in those two pictures. (1) The moment Todd was harassing Amber and Mark wanted to intervene, it's totally obvious that Mark carries the heavy fact that at the moment, he's powerless unlike his dad. And it sucks. Cause he's his father's son and even though he carries his blood, at the time, he doesn't carry Nolan's powers. It doesn't stop him from defending Amber, but it still hurts bothliterally from Todd's hits and emotionally. Mark's carrying the feeling of inadequacy cause he has no idea how to defend himself in this situation, his dad never taught him how to fight because he didn't have powers.
(2) The second picture was Mark rushing to school because his training with his dad made him late for class. He got powers now, and it's literally dragging him from his education (among other things and that's including his relationship with Amber). His power of flight, no matter how fast it is, doesn't get him to places on time. Even when he got his powers, he still had problems. They actually piled up now.
Now as for Eve, sure her casual attire doesn't have any pink on it but her bags are pink!! (1) The first picture of her was when she and Mark met at school. During my first watch, I found it cute that she held on to the straps cause it's a little habit of mine when I wear backpacks. Then at the (2) other picture where she had her luggage out so she can run away from "home", I noticed they're pink too. And it's a small observation but compared to Mark that just lets his bag hang down, Eve holds on to her bags.
The bags are both pink, and pink is her color. It's not a piece or part of her, it's her. Pink has been something she deprived herself to wear but it's something she still wants to keep, even if it's just with bags. It's the thing she's comfortable to carry, it's something she wants to hold in her hands.
I know bags are a practical item for any student to have and I overthought a lot about their bags' colors but yeah hahasdfjasdfha I'm done with that now
CLOSING WORD TIMEEEE HAHAHADSFAHFAHA
man that was a lot, anywayssss
The season 2 poster showed that Debbie has a new outfit. As for Mark and Eve, they're both wearing their hero costumes.
Slight spoilers from the comics: When Nolan left, there was a time that Mark began to dress himself in a style similar to Nolan (I can't tag op for some reason :(().
I feel there's a big chance Mark and Eve will also have new casual attires this coming second season.
Mark is likely to dress similar to Nolan just like in the comics. He will definitely have questions about his identity now that he knew the truth about Nolan, so I think Mark won't be able to wear his usual colors to show that he's figuring things out.
Mark could also wear that blue and black costume, the one that doesn't have the yellow anymore. Because he won't be idolizing his father's heroic persona anymore.
Mark, of course, misses his dad but he won't be looking up to him anymore after what happened.
As for Eve's season 2 casual look though, now that she has her own treehouse and starting to feel free from her parents, I hope she allows herself to incorporate pink in her clothing. She deserves it <33
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ADHD is a learning disability. You might've been gifted but not all of us are or were. As a person with ADHD who isn't a genius or whatever exceptional stereotype you're happy to be I'm sorry if tou don't want to have solidarity with me but we do have the same diagnostic label as me and you don't get to make a new bullshit terms to escape the taint of being given the same diagnostic label for their problems as me.
....Wow, okay.
I wasn't sure if I wanted to answer this publicly, privately, address the point in a different post, or just ignore it. I'm choosing to engage in good faith with this because when I share ADHD information I do so out of a desire to help others who may be in the same boat I was in and I want to clarify if that information is misunderstood.
The post I suspect you are referring to was specifically about people who are both "gifted" (which as a label has plenty of issues but that is what's used in the field and how you will see it referred to in most literature/resources, so that's what I will use) and ADHD at the same time. ADHD and giftedness are two independent things, and a person can be one or the other, both, or neither. (A term you will often see used to refer to a person with giftedness and a disability that impacts learning is "twice exceptional," so using that as a search term may be useful if you want to read more on the topic.)
ADHD is a disability that can seriously impact learning, but it is not technically considered a learning disability. (source: Learning Disablities Association of America). It is considered a neurodevelopmental disorder, similar to the autism spectrum. ASD, ADHD, and learning disabilities such as dyslexia can coexist in the same people in different combinations and any or all can also coexist with giftedness.
This article is older but has a good rundown of some of the issues around gifted + ADHD. A particularly relevant quote: "While a misdiagnosis of ADHD is undesirable, diagnostic errors of omission are just as serious and may be even more prevalent among gifted students. This difficulty occurs when a student’s over-reliance on strengths inadvertently obscures the disability. While emphasizing strengths may highlight a student’s gifts and talents, it does not eliminate the reality of the condition and can, in fact, lead to a worse predicament in which the student distrusts his or her abilities because of the struggle to maintain them. On the other hand, if a student is allowed to acknowledge and experience the disability, he or she may learn appropriate compensatory or coping skills."
The reason I share information specifically about gifted + ADHD is that this is what I personally am, and therefore I have the most experience to share about it. The reason I want to share it is not because I think I'm a super special genius or because I don't want to be in solidarity with others who are ADHD but not gifted. The reason I want to share my experiences is that my ADHD was not diagnosed until I was in my late thirties and that late diagnosis caused me a LOT of avoidable suffering in my life. If I can spare someone else that kind of suffering by sharing the things I learned, I want to do that.
I was not diagnosed early specifically BECAUSE I was also gifted, so most of the indicators that usually lead to children getting tested/diagnosed for ADHD were either attributed to me being gifted (boredom, hyperfocusing on reading a book, one million hobbies I jumped between constantly) or masked by the giftedness (if I could do the assignment quickly in study hall right before class or retain enough from class discussion to pass the test, nobody realized/cared that I wasn't doing homework or studying.)
Which was fine, when I was a kid. But the older I got, the harder it was to keep up with things. By the time I got to undergrad I alternated between high and low GPA terms as I desperately tried to keep my scholarships and managed to keep EXACTLY the minimum GPA I had to. The level of stress and pressure got higher and higher.
I went to grad school. I made a 4.0 my first term.
The second term, I failed all my classes, was put on academic probation, had a meltdown on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere so that my mom had to drive out to get me.
I didn't go back, and I officially failed out of grad school. I had finally reached the point that I could no longer brute force past my lack of executive function with giftedness. And it was fucking devastating. That happened more than twenty years ago and it still hurts to remember even though I've had a lot of therapy since then. I had spent my life being praised for being smart and had built a lot of my identity around that; failing out of grad school felt like a blow to not just my career plans but my SELF.
The years after that got better, but I was still perpetually struggling. Everything just seemed so much HARDER than it should - I bounced in and out of debt, I constantly struggled with work deadlines, I couldn't be on time to ANYTHING, I was stressed out ALL THE TIME. I periodically just broke down and couldn't function for days. I kept making "careless errors" and "stupid mistakes" like forgetting to pay a $20 bill until it got sent to collections even though I had the money to pay it sitting in my checking account. I knew I knew HOW to do the things I didn't do and I knew I was smart enough to do them, so why couldn't I seem to manage it?
I must just... be a horrible person, I concluded. I didn't feel lazy or disrespectful or uncaring, but if I wasn't, surely I would remember birthdays and be on time for things and be able to keep my house clean and my checkbook balanced like normal people could, right?
I probably would have kept on this way indefinitely if a dear friend who was gifted + ADHD had not said "you know, the way you talk about your life sounds a lot like the way I was before I got diagnosed. Maybe you should see someone and check it out."
And I did. And I got diagnosed. And I started treatment. And it fucking CHANGED MY LIFE.
It didn't take away my struggles--far from it--but it helped me understand them, and gave me strategies to help address them, and gave me support to work around/through them. I still have to swim, but before I had weights tied to my feet and now I have a floatie to help keep my head above the water.
I want EVERYONE with ADHD to receive the supports and treatment they need to live their best lives. The information I share about the way ADHD intersects with my own personal brain configuration is meant to help anyone else out there who has a similar one. If it isn't helpful to you personally, I hope you find other sources that do and I wish you the best.
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may or may not have stayed up all night reading this book as soon as I could get my hands on it but anyway I have some thoughts and most of them are screaming.
I really loved the book. Did it have flaws? Yes. Do I care? No. I'm 22, the targeted age range is something like 10-16. When I first got into this series I was the same age as nico. It's been a long journey getting older and changing and healing. Seeing that for Nico was all I really wanted from this book.
Also, realistic relationship struggles and growth!! Loved that!! Having a chronic illness is hard, your partner watching you suffer with it is also hard for them!! Having conversations and misunderstandings and awkward moments is how it goes!! After being in a 3 year relationship with someone I love very much I'm like,,, yes!! Thank you!! I have lifelong chronic illness!! It's not going away I gotta learn to live with it it's a part of me!! My partner struggles with it but is trying so hard and I love them so much!!! But I'm so much more than a pile of suffering and that's the point!!! You choose to keep trying and that's the point the book makes!! there's a whole scene about it and it's so important!!! Will starts to be more accepting and understanding and we love to see it! Nico accepts he needs to let himself move on and that it's ok to do that and not be angry with your past self for trying to stay alive!!
I make no sense and I don't care. But also, they're cringey and memey and dumb. They're hysterical and going a little bit crazy and they love each other and like, I'm not ok. Neither are they. Its been an extremely stressful week for them.
And I don't think it's super out of character because we barely know these people!! Nico has been suffering and in survival mode almost the whole time we have known him!! Will has been a background character most of the time!! Nico was a bubbly 10 year old and Will was like 4 sentences. Nico has made occasional/awkward/dark jokes and Will was shown to be stubborn and concerned and caring because demigods are ridiculously hard to keep alive. Let them be weird and cringey they're literal teenagers. Have you been in a high school with people obnoxiously dating. They are. The worst.
Broke: camp is empty because people wanna see their families
Woke: camp is empty because will and nico are just that couple who are cringe 100% of the time and everyone just noped out
I know I keep getting sidetracked but. Point is. nico and will seem out of character because of circumstances and time skips probably. Nicos finally in a stable place and can actually process things, mans is curious about the world he's in no wonder he's a memelord the internet just does that to you. People change when they're not in survival mode, I definitely am not the same person I was when I was 16. Not even the same person I was when I was 18. Or 20. Like, mental health glow ups bring out some of the best parts of you.
AND THANK YOU PIPER I FEEL SO SEEN RN, don't know what label I fit under, I am confusion but it's ok!! I am a big ole ace spectrum mess and maybe tomorrow it'll be different! Either way the book had a lot of great moments and no it's not the same as old rr books but it was never gonna be, the nostalgia associated with the original pjo series means nothing will ever live up to those books and that's kind of just life for some of yall. fuck knows I crave the joy I felt playing crash bandicoot for the first time. I miss that time of my life and it's ok to miss that but it's also ok to move forward and find new things that bring life joy and meaning!!
anyway. I enjoyed the sun and the star and I will continue to enjoy it regardless of what other people think, I can like things just because I do, or just because they make me happy. And this book definitely made me happy. Also holy fuck I need some sleep. Sorry about all the exclamation points it's all that's keeping me awake!!
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I Despise How Dhar Mann Treats Autism
This is coming from an autistic individual. And this is not really targeted towards one video but nearly ALL autistic videos Dhar Mann has produced.
They’re all the exact same message.
This tells me that the guy has not learned a thing, does no research, rejects any and all feedback, and refuses to change at all, AND does not care about the health and safety of his audience. And his workers in case anyone forgot THAT controversy.
I’ve put off talking about his videos often because I learned this man was just flat out a bad person who didn’t deserve support. But this is something I need to get off my chest.
I am on the autism spectrum. I’ve been a victim of bullying for my autism. I’ve struggled significantly with my autism and it’s gotten me in trouble. And I’ve been a witness to intense bullying on autistic people. So yes, I KNOW what I’m talking about.
And yes, while this isn’t targeted specifically at the new Jayden episode, this is what sparked me to make this.
You’d think I’d talk about the Mikey videos due to my track record, but really my only response to those is: “What more do you want me to say?”
The mom genuinely thinks Dhar Mann is more important than her own son. Sounds about right honestly.
I didn’t associate Jayden as autistic in the past, because any episode that uses the actor (who IS autistic btw) is playing a different character.
But this is the episode that confirms that Jayden is on the spectrum. And he acts like this was obvious and always there.
And I will say, if I, an autistic person, saw NO indications of such beforehand, then that probably means the average viewer who knows nothing on the subject probably can’t either.
It’s almost like Dhar Manns autistic characters have NO autistic traits whatsoever.
Special interest on a certain subject. The lack of ability to process things outside of that subject. Sensory overload on stuff that doesn’t bother the average person. The poor social skill and communication. Stimming, like fiddling or pacing. Easily being emotionally overwhelmed.
These are just a few of the many obstacles autistic people go through on a daily basis. It’s why we are very easy bully targets. These are detriments to functioning right in the world.
Yeah no, all autistic people are perfectly fine and capable and don’t need to stim or sit back to clear their minds from sensory overload whatsoever. They also don’t struggle with anything ever aside from jerks.
Implication that you’re perfect the way you are and it’s the rest of the world that needs to change.
Great message. Let’s apply it to our real lives!
…doesn’t work out, does it?
By portraying it like this, the message doesn’t become ‘you are good enough even with your autism’, it’s ‘just be born perfect’
Which, I don’t think I need to tell you that this message, no matter the situation, is harmful to people.
I’m certainly not perfect. I’m a good writer, sure, but that’s because it’s my special interest. If you put me behind an electrical panel, I won’t know Jack s**t.
The only time I’ve ever seen Dhar Mann portray a character as imperfect is in this recent video, where they DO address Jayden struggling in certain classes. (Which is bulls**t if you’ve seen any other video with Jayden in it. But whatever.)
Here’s the problem: We never SEE that. We are TOLD that. What we are SHOWN is Jayden succeeding at everything, and the thing that gets him expelled isn’t through any fault of his own, it’s the sabotage of the bully character. Yes they say he’s bad at writing, but he’s perfectly capable of programming, which is a lot of writing, so… yeah. That’s not a defense. I need to SEE the struggle for this point to matter. Cause otherwise I’ll be convinced you’re lying.
The claim in these videos is that ‘Autism is not a disability, it’s a different ability’ is insulting for all these reasons.
Yes, this is a REAL line he uses over and over again.
It’s insulting, as it tells us that our setbacks are purely our fault, and they do not matter or need to be taken care of at all. ‘Your autism isn’t the setback. YOU are the setback. Get better.’
You need to address the faults in order to teach how to help autistic people succeed. Which, THATS the message I THINK they’re trying to portray. ‘You can be capable despite your autism’
Saying autism is a genius superpower is like saying a deaf person is a master listener.
I wouldn’t mind this if ALL of his autistic characters weren’t geniuses. Smarter than everyone else, can understand things that even professionals can’t levels of smart.
One or two of them, sure, people are unique, but ALL OF THEM?
That’s stereotyping. Dhar Mann is stereotyping autism to the public.
Reminds me of some other harmful movies and websites with autism as it’s main focus.
Also, ‘Your son is mentally deficient.’
Just, that one ticks me off and speaks for itself.
I understand it’s written by an antagonist, it’s still insulting.
This is more than just saying ‘you’ll go nowhere in life’ being so triggering to any person who’s felt that way and developed self loathing problems. (Example: me)
This is more than the unrealism of a child taking over the job of an electrical professional.
This is the very thing and one of the many reasons why Dhar Manns messages are harmful.
He uses a real person as a reference at the end. As though that excuses anything.
‘This one person has this experience. ALL people like them must have this experience too.’
No. No we don’t. I didn’t get expelled for autism discrimination.
And then there’s the mom. In case you needed any more reason to prove my point she’s an awful parent.
They say early in the video that the mom told Jayden he was smart despite his struggles, and the bully claims the mom lies.
This is the bully, the antagonist, we’re not supposed to like him or agree with him.
So why then, is he proven RIGHT?
The mom LIES to her son just to make him feel better.
Jayden is upset, wants to know the truth on what the principal thinks of him, and what does the mom do? LIE ABOUT WHAT HE SAID.
Because it’s not like we want to teach our kids that some people suck and don’t understand you, but you don’t need their support to see the value in yourself! (I love Ninjago Dragons Rising for this)
NOPE. LIE TO YOUR CHILDREN.
You will face no consequences at all.
10/10 parent, this woman is.
For any autistic person that reads this, don’t listen to Dhar Mann. You don’t need to be a genius to be worth it. You don’t need to be talented at anything to be worth it. There’s people who love you, and people willing to help you find your place in the world.
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I have been seeing a lot of people recently on Tumblr go 0_o upon the wave of antisemitism that is flooding Europe, the USA and the Internet recently. The reason they are shocked by this, however, is not because of the antisemitism itself... But because they see it comes from "the left". And this turns out to be a shock for them, because they have a hard time understanding how people on the "left-wing" of the political spectrum could end up being VERY antisemitic, as antisemitism was - even before the Nazi party was created - typically associated to the extreme-right and to the right-wing part of the political spectrum.
Except that... when you have been paying attentions to little details and some history lessons, it comes to no surprise at all. The extreme-left (because we have to say things as they are, the current wave of antisemitism is partially born from the extreme-left) is basically the twin of the extreme-right. And I am not just speaking of the fact antisemitism exists as a principle beyond any political party and any religion (antisemitism has been carried on throughout History by the left, the right, by apolitics, by Christians, by Muslims, by basically everyone that is not Jewish).
There was a French comedy movie that is talked about a lot - because it is a movie that never got to be made. It is a movie called "Le Crocodile", "The Crocodile". One of the reasons this unmade movie is so famous is because it was planned to be the "final" movie of Louis de Funès, considered to this day one of the greatest French actors and a monument of French humor. Louis de Funès' archetypal character, his "type-casting", was as a greedy, tyrannical, wrathful and petty, but ultimately ridiculous and sympathetic, middle-management type of guy, an ambitious, vain and cowardly person in a position of power that abused of it, but ultimately ended up either humbled by the story/events/other characters, or had his good side come out in the end. He was an antisemitic factory owner who ended up learning how to love and appreciate the Jewish community ; he was a tyrannical maestro who ended up forced to work for the Resistance during World War II ; he was a scheming, pollution-endorsing mayor who ended up forced to abandon everything because he was bested by his wife ; he was an abusive and criminal minister that kept knowing disgrace after disgrace, and ended up doing heroic deeds but just because the villains of the story were preventing him from doing his own political conspiracy... And "Le Crocodile" was supposed to be the culmination of these specific roles, as de Funès was to play a dictator losing his power during a revolution.
Inspired by Charlie Chaplin's own take on dictatorship, this movie was supposed to depict Louis de Funès as a Pinochet-caricature, "Crochet", an extreme-right dictator in an imaginary country. After a series of adventures, the dictator ended up overthrown by a rival and sent to prison. But his cunning and scheming knowing no bounds, he ended up going back to power... by shifting to the left-wing of the political spectrum, joining with left-oriented political activist, overthrowing his replacement, destroying his own old extreme-right government, to replace it by a new, left-revolutionnary government... That quickly became an extreme-left dictatorship led, once again by Crochet. And this was supposed to be the final, bitter joke of the movie: the beginning and ending of the story were supposed to be identical, because despite the political goals and vocabulary having changed, the dictatorship Crochet had rebuilt in the extreme-left was in all identical to his extreme-right dictatorship.
The movie was never made, unfortunately, due to Louis de Funès passing before shooting could begin. But the same message can be found in the classics of a fiction genre that is much more well-known by English audience: dystopia. What defined the "classical" dystopias, born during the height of the Cold War? From George Orwell's "1984" to Harlan Ellison "I have no mouth and I must scream", there is always this recurring motif of "You had various super-powers with opposing ideologies that waged war against each other... and yet now, we can't actually distinguish these opposite powers from one another, because they are doing the exact same thing and their ideologies end up reaching the same goals and the same points." This was a reaction to the dead-end of the Cold War, where the extremes of the Americanized, capitalist, "Western" block and of the Sovietized, communist "Eastern" block matched each other, resulting in the two looking identical in the eyes of many countries and people stuck in the middle of the two... But the lesson can be applied to any other situation, because it contains one core, fundamental truth people seem to have forgotten about today. Any extreme is bad ; and any good thing, taken to an extreme, will be horrible.
Take Christianity! A religion built on love and peace, and giving your food to the poor and offering the other cheek when you are slapped and forgiving those that betray you... And we ended up with the fucking Inquisition, and the witch hunts, and the religious wars, and many more atrocities, all in the name of "love and peace".
I digress here but honestly I want to get all of this out while I can, so that I have no more to say.
So yes, the "left" as people learned to know it today is based on good principles. (I personally hate reducing things to the "left" or the "right" when it comes to social matter, because for example defending people's right to have their own sexual orientation respected and recognized is not a political question, it is a human question... But since Tumblr users are still in shock unable to understand why the "left could be bad", and since we are facing extreme-left movements, I'll stick to this binary system for now). Yes, the left is the "side of the people" that works on helping the masses against the elite ; yes the left is the side of the "minorities" against "oppresors", yes the left has fought for excellent and needed things like feminism and acceptance and anti-racism... All good principles. And all principles that are turned into tools of hatred and oppression by the extreme-left.
I don't think I need to explain why the extreme-right is bad - in general people on Tumblr are very aware of it, and history has proven us what happens when the extreme-right rises up. Racism, discrimination, xenophobia, homophobia, religious fanaticism... All things typical of the extreme-right, no need to go further. But a lot of people seem to have a hard time wrapping their head around the system and the processes that lead to the "left" becoming the "extreme-left", and why the extreme-left can end up mirroring the extreme-right.
But the answer is very simple. It is this logic as old as time of "reverse bullying". When the bullied decided to take their revenge on the bully by bullying it in return, the bullied becomes the bully, and it does not solve anything since it just reverses the situation. Or more generally speaking: when the defense, love and acceptance of a minority/victim/side becomes hatred and rejection of the majority/bully/other side, there is an open gateway for BAD things. And the wave of antisemitism currently going on is a perfect representation of that.
I personally strongly disliked the extreme-left long before the whole Hamas-Israel situation. I hated the extreme-left because, especially in France, the extreme-left had the worst possible thing when it came to anti-intellectualism. Extreme-left politicians and activists have explicitely spoken against or attacked things such as higher education or any kind of school beyond high school, as well as things such as classical literature or old books. There is this "populist" idea behind the extreme-left, that, as "men/women of the people", as the "voice of the masses", they need to opposite, shit on and destroy anything seen or deemed as an "elite". But the "elite" isn't just your old rich white guy, oh no! The elite also means stuff seen as the intellectual elite. For example, classics of literature. Authors of older generations. And if you wonder how bad it can be: when during the last presidential elections the candidate for the extreme-left was not elected, its young supporters went to the university of the Sorbonne and trashed it. They destroyed computers, destroyed rare books within the university's library, they destroyed the papers and works of the students and teachers in there... Because they were angry at their candidate not being elected. And an university as old and as famous as the Sorbonne, THE French university, was thus seen as the "enemy" and as a symbol of what opposed the access of their candidate to the presidential position. And the result was... destroying books. Yes, bookburners can be as much from the right as from the left. Quite literaly some times.
There was this very hilarious but very very sad thing that happened in French Canada some years ago... There was this group of Canadians (white and Christians if I recall well) that wanted to show an open support and public excuses for how the Catholic Church, how the Canadian government and how white settlers treated the people of the First Nations and the discrimination they had to face. Nice, isn't it? The intention is good, public manifestations recognizing this dark side of the history is good, doing events to move forward is good, right? Except... we are talking about French-Canadians here. French-Canadian-Christians, who are... really something. So what did they do, to show their support to the First Nations? Give back some of their land? Remove some of the horrible laws against them? Recognize them more rights? NO! THEY BURNED BOOKS! Sounds like a joke? It is not. To show their support, what they did was take various comic-books and children books from the early-to-mid 20th century with representations of Native-Americans considered "offensive", and they burned them in a great bonfire. They literaly did... book-burning. To fight colonization and racism. A perfect example of how fucked up and warped it can all be.
This incident above is just one of the many incidents that I have collected across the years and that illustrated what I called the "bad woke". Now... when designating those ridiculous and dangerous excesses, I hate to just say "woke". Because the root of the "woke" ideas are good! Good and positive things: defend trans-people, defend gay people, encourage diversity and body-positivity and fight against racism and religious discrimination. These things are good! And too many people who are just homophobic, transphobic, racist or any other of fucked up jerk use "woke" as an insult and as a derogatory term for just being a normal uman being. So I do not like using "woke" alone to designate the fucked-up extremes the polar opposite side can ledn itself to. But... I have to recognize that there is a bad, extreme and toxic form of "wokeness", and until I can find a better term to designate this phenomenon, I will use the term "bad woke". And the process, the thought-system, the workings of the "bad woke" are the exact sames behind the extreme-left, and the sames that led to this wave of antisemitism drowning the Internet.
I evoked an incident that took place in France again years ago, which was more of an unthought, stupid mistake than an actual malicious intent, but showed how a slight twist can turn "good" from "bad". A "safe place" had been created somewhere, for women and trans people to be able to gather without any presence of men or non-trans people. So far so good, but the twist of the story is that when creating this space the rules for it were too summarized and too-shortened up, and so the creators of the space said this and plastered this on the walls: "Only women and trans people allowed. No men allowed." Do you see the logical problem? What about trans men? Trans men literaly didn't know what to do, since "trans" people were accepted and this space was built for them... and yet "men" as a whole were forbidden. Meaning if a trans man entered the space, they had to somehow not be recognized as a man, but as rather something closer to a woman?
This truly was just a stupid mistake by people who had not thought about it - but it actually shows the process by which defending one minority or an oppressed group can end up harming or hunting another minority/oppressed group. We are all aware of what happened when feminists and the feminism fight to defend women or provide them equal rights, ended up drifting into transphobia and hate on trans women for not being "real women". It is all a messy bag of snakes.
And so, what is the link to the antisemitism today? What does all this proves when it comes to the extreme-left and the Jews? Well, easy.
Why is the extreme-left antisemitic? Because one of the core of the extreme-left is, as I said, to fight against the "elite". Be it a social, cultural, ethnic or political elite, the "left" defined itself mostly as "the mass against the elite, the many against the few". This is mixed with the left fighting against racism, and also fighting against things such as colonization. Again, all very good things. But let's place ourselves in the mind of an antisemitic extreme-leftist. What happens? Why would I come after the Jews, who themselves are known to be an oppressed and discriminated against minority, in both ethnic and religious terms? Why would the extreme-left decide to make a prey out of the people the extreme-right was known to hunt?
Because they are seen as the "elite". We know that extreme-left groups feed into the same antisemitic delusions and conspiracy theories that the Jews are the secret elite controlling the world. Even if they are not hardcore conspiracists, the extreme-left movements have several Jewish stereotypes widespread among them - to take France, just a recent study showed that a lot of people who identified on the left-wing also recognized that Jews were wealthier than regular French people, that they had too much presence in finances, and too much presence in media. The extreme-left searches for a form of elite to fight against and shit upon and hate with all of its might - and when the antisemitic cliches present the Jews as this elite, as some sort of secret powerful cabal controlling the finances and the media and being wealthy and friends with politicians, the extreme-left will latch onto these ideas as if truth, because they hate any form of elite, no matter if the elite actually exists or not. It is no surprise that the same conspiracy cliches about "satanic cults murdering babies and drinking human blood" are used for both the Jews (supposedly the shadow elite) and the actual rich and wealthy, white WASPs family of the USA. Same conspiracy theory, different people.
Of course, the Hamas-Israel war has been what sparked the fire. Because Israel is seen as a colonizer, the Jews as a whole are identifying with other colonizing countries and historical colonizing empires. Because Israel currently has a right-wing/extreme-right government, the Jews are a whole are seen as being from the extreme-right. Because of the retaliation against the Hamas attacks upon Gaza are just a massive unleashing of destruction causing massive deaths and a humanitarian crisis, Jews are a whole are seen as being genocide-endorcers. With people even going as far as to say they became as bad as Nazis or worse, or that they are causing a new Holocaust - the Jewish history being literaly returned against them. Everything that surrounds the Hamas-Israel war needs a post of its own because we have EVERYTHING all at once. We have people who refuse to understand a conflict is not black and white, and that in this war there is no good guy or bad guy, just people suffering on both sides and a lot of deaths and horrors on both sides. We have people who generalize Israel as being somehow the embodiment of all the Jews in the world, and consider Jews from Africa or Europe or America to be responsible for Israel's actions - and who disguise antisemitism as "anti-zionism". We have people who, in their effort to paint Israel as the sole villain, will literaly treat the Hamas as heroes, and ignore for example the fact that they are a terrorist organization, that they actually attacked Israel in terrorist attacks (people even deny the Hamas attacks even happened, the same way you have negationists of the Holocaust), or that they are using the people of Gaza as meat-shield for Israel attacks, or that they have extremely fanatical and racist ideologies based on a genocide of Jews as a whole and the destruction of the USA. And the list goes on and on and this is such a mess...
But here is the thing... The Hamas attacks on Israel and Israel's retaliation were just the spark. Meaning there was fuel before that. And I already started explaining why. The extreme-left had strong latent antisemitic feelings which were widespread, but since not openly hostile or aggressive were not much spotted. (Unlike for example fanatical extreme-right Christians which are very loud and open about their hatred of Jews and parade Jewish caricatures around on signs). And while I evoked before the warped belief that the Jews are somehow an "elite", hence the discrimination, there is another factor that must be taken nto account... What I call the "pick-and-choose your minority" game.
To take for example extreme-left groups in France - but I think it works in other countries too. They are very open about defending minorities and people of color, and they have been strongly standing by the side of black people and Arab people and Muslim people and people from African descent. So far, so good... But the thing is that when you are careful, you see that they do nothing about or never speak about other minorities. For example the Jews, but also Asian people. Not a word, not a peep. And we know there is discrimination in France against them - we already have studies that proved that in universities (which, surprise, are mostly left-leaning) a "common" antisemitism was very widespread, not physical, but taking the form of discriminatory joke, the common use of slurs and other verbal abuse. But we also had a wave of discrimination against people of Asian ethnicites (mostly people of Chinese culture or descent, but given the perpetrators were racist I doubt they'd make a difference between China, Japan or Korea). There was a wave some years ago of brutal street-agressions and mugging and theft targeting Chinese women and Chinese elders (or Chinese-looking people). And the thieves and muggers, once caught, gave the same excuse antisemitic thieves gave: "Everybody knows they have money."
But the thing is that while extreme-left groups are very vocal and very violent when it comes to islamophobia or racism against black people... they are very quiet and discreet when it comes to antisemitic or discrimination against Asian people. (Or at least they were, because since their antisemitism was revealed, they have been very vocal about Jewish people on media, to defend themselves). And this little phenomenon, that mostly went unnoticed and unanalyzed by media, reflects a larger concept that was found everywhere - and in fact very present on the Internet - and that imbues the extreme-left. And this perverse concept is "Some minorities are real minorities. Others are not. Some people are real POCs. Others are not."
To be clear: many people consider that Jews or Asians are not supposed to be minorities, couldn't be oppressed and shouldn't be defended as much as "actual" people of colors or "true" minorities". Because, in their words, these ethnicities are "too white", or "too close to white people". They are "model minorities", they were "integrated", they are seen as coming from either "powerful" nations ranked the same as former colonialist powers (Japan, China), either from "sheltered" and "untouchable" areas (the massive Jewish acceptance and defense after WWII). And the result of these considerations is that the extreme-left treat these groups as just "shades of White people", and they get conflated with things such as "those racist WASPs folks" or "the dominant all-white Christian xenophobes". And then all the stereotypes are thrown at them - the Jews, just like Asians, have supposedly too much influence on politics, too much presence in media, they are naturally wealthier than regular people, they are naturally less discriminated and less hated than others... And in turn, the extreme-left decides "We will not speak of them. We will not fight for them or stand up for them because they do not need it, because they are too close to the elite, because they are too close to our enemies. We'll focus on more "important" people."
And thus, from the noble cause of defending oppressed and discriminated minorities that knew a long history of racism and persecution... we go perpetuating the discrimination and erasure of OTHER minorities and ethnicities that had a long history of racism and persecution. It is... like some sort of perverse "discrimination contest" where people somehow "deserve" to be defend against discriminations and others do not? Some sort of fucked-up ethnic hierarchy that in the end is literaly no different from the same ethnic hierarchies racists of the extreme-right put in place to justify their hatred.
And if the slightest event produces a spark strong enough to set the fuel ablaze... the extreme-left goes from ignoring and passive discrimination to active discrimination. As we can see today by the left of extreme-left antisemitism.
I don't think I have anything else to say? This post is very long, but I got to say everything I had to say, and I am quite glad I did. I wrote it all in one go, so there might be typos, but I do not think I can sum up my words anymore than that.
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Autistic reading of Hirofumi + general observations
The time has come. I’m talking about cryptid boy. I adore him, and to me he reads as autistic highkey. Earlier today this post happened and it just made me want to get into the nitty gritty of him: https://fumifooms.tumblr.com/post/704906702244429824/his-whole-job-is-keeping-chainsaw-man-alive-and
What’s funny too is, because well, we have Asa right there, Yuko too, and arguably others like Denji or Power which, yeah, y’all got a place on the spectrum- But when it comes to Hirofumi people jump a lot to more supernatural explanations for his vibes being “off”. When, like… The fact that you can’t read him isn’t necessarily because he’s some conspiracy. Not to say that he’s not suspicious, he is, but it’s funny to me that people don’t consider that mostly he may just be… Socially inept. Irl people like him exist, I assure you. Autism makes the dream work, amirite.
Tldr: He’s my kind of autism (aka he’s me irl. His behavior was my way of adapting to a neurotypical world, too! I try to keep projection out of this analysis, tho). Developed a mastery of social behavior to seem friendly and casual until his social acting became too much instead of too little (the latter being the one usually associated with autism) and something feels off about him now because he does a front of being neurotypical when he’s autistic as shit. Like a cryptid trying to wear a human suit-disguise and just ends up feeling uncanny, y’know. He’s always cold and calculated on the inside, but attempts to have a warm exterior to put people at ease so he can do his job better and blend in with everyone else without bumps in the road.
I’ll spend this analysis mostly pointing out things about him rather than arguing that they’re inherently autistic traits, since we know little about him the argument is first of all about pining down his character rather than arguing about the nature of the traits, tbh. Still, for anyone familiar with autistic traits a lot of these are super self-explanatory, and I won’t explain all the links.
This is long and has tons of pictures, so I’m putting it under a cut!
Pt 1: social outcast? Two worlds
He appears cool guy to most, sure, but no one really ever… Bothers to interact with him? He’s always there TM, but people don’t talk to him, and he usually keeps his input to conversations to minimum (when they aren’t one-on-one). He doesn’t approach anyone, no one approaches him. It’s a mutual “I don’t really care” between him and the rest of the world. Though, he does get singled out and otherized for being successful in devil hunting at his age, when it’s brought up, and so both by fellow devil hunters and classmates. (Most visible in how the school devil hunting club greets him, but also in part 1 Kishibe forgetting a devil hunter could possibly be a highschooler, etc). From what we see it’s implied he has 0 friends.
I do think remembering that he’s a highschooler for this is important, because Yoshida is essentially between two worlds. Professional devil hunting, which makes him have to be cool-headed and works with professional adults, facing death all the time and quickly develop working chemistry with new colleagues, and highschool, where you have to be normal enough and perform socially, esp since we know bullying is a rampant problem his school has. I do think, as an autistic, that would party explain his behavior; switching behaviors and personas for one or the other would be bothersome and erratic, so he mashes both sides of what he has to be into one personality that can work for both worlds, and keeps the same demeanor for every situation he’s in. Casual and friendly enough for school, always cool-headed and ready to face life-or-death situations for devil hunting. The result is this fucking guy. Feels misplaced in every situation he’s in as a reader, imo at least.
I do think he realizes that he can be off-putting, but what he does with that information is kinda unclear. I feel like he feels that he’s above others, in many situations. That or very nihilist.
Pt 2: His smile, interactions
His smile is 90% of why I saw him as autistic. It’s such an autistic smile. He sucks at it. It doesn’t reach his eyes, it’s clear that it’s always plastered on and it’s empty. He ends up just looking like a sneaky bastard half the time. And like- Remember that time he wanted to see if the hitman in the alley was an hitman or a civilian? It doesn’t seem like he was going for intimidation at all, because in that same interaction he just goes “hm well he’s scared shitless, it can’t be my target.” Plus he doesn’t comment on the civilian clearly being in range to realize he just killed someone, so that part wasn’t intentional, either. His fucking smile when he looked at him?? Guys, he was trying to approach the guy to casually ask him what he’s doing. That fucking smile, was him being casual to ask a rando something. Also there’s something very autistic and funny in “hey yo you good? You’re not a hitman per chance are you?” “Urgh I don’t feel so good” “ok fair, good argument, bye”
I think that interaction perfectly represents what I was saying about him being stuck between two worlds, though. He has to be threatening and cold enough so that if the guy is the assassin he’s giving enough pressure so that he may slip up, but friendly and normal enough so that if he’s a civilian he didn’t just freak him out, and that balance is very important so that he can get the correct information and assessment. But like, he accomplishes all of that through subliminal messaging lol, through vibes, body language etc however you want to say it. And that duality messes his game up, and he’s quick to make assumptions and be confident that they’re the right ones. The latter point is not only supported by the pages below but also through the way he talked with Kishibe about Makima. He’s very intuitive, and rather impulsive once he thinks he has something figured out. It does backfire on him somewhat regularly. Counting the “I am taking away your cutlery so you can’t eat cake until you listen to me” strategy he tried on Denji lol. More on that later.
He also sucks at conversations. Like, he really does. I haven’t seen him holding a good conversation ever highkey. Which, he doesn’t try much, either, as previously mentioned when he’s not one-on-one he talks extremely little. It was easy to forget about his presence when he was on the rooftop with Denji and Asa arguing, or in the aquarium tbh, or in part 1′s gang. He’s easy to lose in a crowd. It was a whole joke when part 2 started; “Be honest guys who here remembered Yoshida existed?”. People in-world look at him and see nothing notable about him, then promptly forget about him when he autistically sticks to being quiet in a corner, while still doing his job efficiently well. He’s good at seeming well-adjusted and normal on the surface, but keeps people at bay just by being a hard to approach milktoast guy.
He blends in with the background. He’s great for spy shit, bad for the rest. He seems like he’d be good for interrogations at first, but beyond being observant he’d be absolute shit at it, like his interactions with the assassin guy and Denji prove. He’s honestly not great at reading people. He can puzzle out characteristics or skills they have, but on the more emotional or social workings he has to be walked through things slowly, or just make wild guesses and risky plays.
Moving on, his infamous lame-ass excuses for always being at the same place as Denji all the time? Yeah. I don’t know how much he tries for them to be believable but we all know they fall really flat. Also the way he laughs when he doesn’t know how to react is hilarious. Hirofumi is such an awkward person
General demeanor, tone deafness
It feels like he’s kinda bored all of the time imo, but of course that’s just an assumption based on his demeanor. The classic thing about being autistic is precisely that no one has a clue what’s happening inside, emotions or whatever. He’s so deadpan about everything ever.
I think the reason he keeps his bangs that way is a sensory thing tbh. Or, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was actively trying to hide his face, his eyes that he can never get to emote right. Maybe he doesn’t like being looked at, or noticed. Maybe it ties in with his devil contract, ink clouds are for hiding + to blind, after all. Ooh maybe something about that is his contract cost- That’d be epic.
His smile is a constant rather than a way to communicate something. Masking. It’s always just plastered on along with his shallow pleasant countenance, it feels almost like a survival tactic, or his state of being. He’s almost beastly sometimes, in part 1 mostly. Like idk how to explain it but the autistic experience of “Masking & emoting for social interactions is my token of survival even if I feel like an animal backed into a corner” is raw and real & f yeah. This bit may seem out of left-field, but yeah if Hirofumi has some internal turmoil I feel like that sort of shit is how he’d go
He has this almost obsession with being casual & appearing friendly, despite how misplaced it can be for the situation. Which does tie in with the smile thing. But yeah just in this pleasant demeanor we’ve discussed, he really does stand out with just how friendly and casual he always is
He’s so tonedeaf. The page below is just after it’s revealed to them that some assassins are after the guy he’s protecting (Denji) and that they can shapeshift. He’s smiling even as he’s saying that they’re in deep, deep shit. This page doesn’t show it well on its own, but he’s the first to recover his composure, esp with Denji half-dead. Beyond Power being Power, everyone is like 😨 Yoshida stands out with his reaction, which goes straight to the point and assess their situation logically all while smiling, but more on that later.
He’s constantly saying grave stuff while being pretty lighthearted. His nonchalant attitude would be comedic if this wasn’t an horror & tragedy manga lol. He just admitted that he’s ready to die & expects it and what, just like that, one sentence and cool let’s get onto the next topic. It is interesting how he acted during the aquarium arc crisis tbh. He truly has no desire to connect with other people, even in this conversation with Denji he’s talking business all through it, rather than anything else. He doesn’t approach or interact with the others, doesn’t give his input on the situation when the group is brainstorming. He just stays in his corner and observes from afar.
Logic-oriented, coldness and laser focus
His rigidly logical nature is actually somewhat of a flaw for him. His rationale makes him make mistakes, such as assuming a pro would never puke. It’s also why he attempts to use reason and logic with Denji so much, which becomes quickly apparent that it doesn’t work with him. This attitude/way of looking at things backfires on him regularly, as mentioned. This is what I mean by laser focus, mostly, because he has a hard time looking beyond a narrow field of possibilities and causal links, like we already discussed. Once it leaves that field he becomes blind to it, he’s so laser focused that not only does he not consider any possibility beyond what his logic tells him, but if something presents itself that doesn’t align with his logic he’ll promptly dismiss it, in a very erratic way.
He’s obviously very very dedicated to his job. He has for sure trained to have his martial arts skills, and he spends pretty much all his time in part 2 looking over Denji. Being part of the background is part of his job, and he has 0 friends. And he’s fine with it. He’s SO good at hiding his emotions and thoughts, because he keeps the same face 90% of the time.
Money is his motivation, we know this. As much as we can know something about him right now, anyways. I wouldn’t be surprised if he does have some ideological devotion for his job’s mission, but he talks about is as his job first of all, and, yeah, money.
I think there’s also something you can say about how it feels like he’s always one step ahead or playing a higher game when holding conversations with people. Which, I think it’s also important to not that that’s only a feeling, and that doesn’t mean that that’s what he’s doing, or rather, intending. Usually, what he says is only ever to inform or figure out something. Anyways- The only time I feel like this is less true, that he’s constantly blatantly playing games in his conversations, is with the convo above with Kishibe. They’re both super honest and blunt, laying all their cards on the table and speaking with a similar demeanor of cold nonchalance. He speaks matter-of-factly, objectively, without empathy, no matter the topic. No matter the topic. Ever. He calculates risks and rewards constantly and only reveals he’s made those maths when he feels like it (Like with the phone he had in the aquarium arc). Anyways, My point here is just that autistic kids tend to get along better with older people than other kids, the classic “oh you’re so mature for your age”, and I feel like that’s reflected well here. The reason of why that is is pretty simple, autistic kids tend to communicate in ways that are different to other kids and which can weird them out, while adults are more used to different kinds of people and more blunt or wordy conversations. It’s Kishibe’s logical outlook and assessment of situations that allow him to keep up with what Hirofumi’s saying instead of being weirded out here, and they have a good & productive conversation as equals because of it.
I do think that’s a big part of the appeal of yoshiden, because Denji disregards social conventions and common sense so much that even Yoshida gets stumped sometimes, and it makes him feel more like a highschooler, makes him lose control of the situation and even his face for a bit. It’s healthy for him. And it’s fun on top of humanizing this otherwise cryptic character.
As we’ve seen, surprise is the only emotion he emotes other than his smile (neutrality not included). That’s actually a pretty huge thing!! It does confirm on some level that his smile is a constant that he has to put on, since surprise is the only thing that breaks it and makes him emote more genuinely. Look I made a collage lol. These are 100% of the times where he’s not either smiling or having a neutral face. Like… A dozen panels. I think there’s something to say about surprise being the one emotion he emotes and how he can be rather impulsive, too.
He’s very methodical, the way he interacts with people. With Denji especially, we could see him in real time trying to get a read on Denji. He eventually does, learning to provide what Denji wants so he’ll listen to him more.
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Misc
At last, the most compelling argument /j: HE SITS FUCKIN’ WEIRD!! In the pic below part of it is that they have to be ready to stand up at any moment to fight, but! He also always crosses his legs when sitting, and I think that’s a lovely detail Fujimoto, and also yeah same. Ofc leg-crossing isn’t exclusive to neurodivergent people, but ways people sit can be surprisingly affected by stuff like being understimulated. I always sit cross-legged, I cannot sit normally without some other way to tuck my legs if I don’t have them crossed, or my brain goes blank. I am not kidding.
ANYWAYS HE SITS FUCKIN WEIRD!! Doing the big lean, look at him go
Also he holds phones like L Lawliet which is really all the evidence you need lol
In conclusion
Have you *seen* the way he just sits and tries to psychanalyze Denji, asking him why he does the things he does? Have you seen a more autistic bitch ever? He oozes the autism in every little thing he does. Honestly I’m surprised there aren’t more people saying the same thing when it’s so blatant. Once you get to a certain threshold of masking and avoiding attention people don’t suspect a thing. I was diagnosed at 18 and my mom at 50, so yeah, relatable lol. I love him so much
Part 1 Yoshida is a lil fella on the job being weird but trying his best and minding his business. Part 2 Yoshida is a deadpan but fake smile master who autistically struggle to connect with people in a way that allows him to do his job well. He’s creepy and uncanny af without meaning to.
My autism is the direct reason that attracts me to him, rather than aesthetics or anything else, if that makes sense. (I’m not saying that any reason is superior, just that since my autism is what draws me to him as a character it is an argument for him being autistic coded, in that way).
I humanize him a lot, and he humanizes me in turn.
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for someone who is new and doesnt know anything about costuming, what is the blue and green theory?
Nonnie!
Welcome!!!
Blue and green theory is one of the theories I have about the use of colour in costuming - in particular for buck and Eddie - buck being blue and Eddie being green. If you’re interested in deep diving - my pinned post has links to all my metas and a few other bits where I talk about the costuming choices on the show, the use of colour for characters and it’s relevance to the scenes as well as some of my other costume theories. And if you want to know more about the costuming process I wrote a couple of posts explaining how costuming works from the start of the process to what we see on screen - using 4x14 as an example!!
As for blue and green specifically - the long C and short of it is that we see Buck in blue a lot and blue is a colour very much connected with mental health, psychology and depression, but also with trust loyalty - it’s all about the shade of blue used. So buck being in lots of light blues in season 6 is very interesting and telling when it comes to where he’s at as a character l, lighter blues tend to be colder and more associated with mental health l, whereas the brighter blues we’ve seen him in in earlier seasons play much more into the trust any loyalty aspects of blue.
Eddie’s being in green is pretty specific - he nearly always wears greens that are in the military spectrum - so khakis, olive drabs and the like. The use of this specific set of greens connects him into his military background, but also connect to the idea of his mental health- green is a colour of renewal and growth - we see all the characters wearing it a lot at moments where they make either important decisions or something important happens that leads to growth. With Eddie is a little more complex because his military background is both a comfort blanket yo him as well as a point of stress - so the more military looking the shade of green the more he is falling back on something both safe (in his mind) and destructive to him. Seasons 5 and 6 have been really interesting in this sense for him - we’ve watched the shades of military greens change for him - ranging from washed out to darker - as well as the brighter versions - I touch on it briefly in my meta posted today about Eddie’s jacket - season5 was much more washed out and darker whereas season 6 has been the brighter shades within this spectrum!!
I hope all this makes sense and helps and I hope it intrigues you into looking at the costuming on the show and reading my many metas!! Always happy to answer costume questions 😎💜💜💜
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Just rambling here so ignore this completely…
Especially within the last few years, quite a few people have been talking about Muse not being political enough, especially given their (and Matt’s) fondness for revolution and bold themes. It’s not a new complaint, I remember an interview where the interviewer mentioned it to Matt, saying people were criticising Muse for not being political enough… this was in 2000. But it has come from everywhere, like from fans, from people in the press, from people that urm, know Matt’s past. From Justin Hawkins lmao (frontman of the Darkness, remember them? They released a proper weird album last year so they aren’t gone… anyway, that’s besides the point. He’s become a sort of music industry journalist? He’s got a YouTube channel, and he reviewed Won’t Stand Down when it came out and said something along the lines of, if Muse were specific in their political messaging, no one could touch them. It’d be so powerful they’d blow everyone else out of the water. I think, no doubt they already do… it’s something to think about, I’m neither agreeing nor disagreeing with him. He’s right that if Matt properly let loose I don’t think anyone could touch him, and we got a taste of that on We Are Fucking Fucked. An uncensored Matt would burn so bright we couldn’t look. But also, the tempered and considered broadness of their music does make Muse Muse. I won’t say).
People pushed Matt in interviews on his political leanings in the 2009 days, they did it post-Brexit (someone started shit about him being a leaver for a bit and then he had to clarify that he was pro-reform, not pro-Brexit), and now with the whole thing about Matt’s past, and Compliance, and Ghosts even and everything. And his answer has always remained the same, it hasn’t changed in years.
But I wonder, is it in some ways America-centric, the way people keep needing him to clarify further when he’s said what he’s said multiple times? He often says he’s roughly ‘left-of-centre’, and it’s occurring to me that it’s possible a lot of us read that as left of the American centre. When he, as a Brit, is far more likely to have been talking about being left-leaning from the POV of… most other places in the world.
The NME interview from last June comes to mind.
“We want a new type of revolution,” Matt argues […]. “I think everyone knows we want a revolution, but we definitely don’t want a bunch of authoritarian lunatics from the right. That’s the last thing we want.
“And also we don’t want a total communist situation on the hard left either. I think what we want is something completely new. I don’t think it exists out there at the moment, but I think there’s a new type of politics that could emerge. I would call it Meta-Centrism. It’s an oscillation between liberal, libertarian values for individuals – your social life, the ability to be whatever gender you are, all that kind of stuff – but then more socialist on things like land ownership, nature and energy distribution. It’s oscillation between the two poles.”
It’s not what you’d associate with the American center, god no. But that’s closer to the centre of the political spectrum in most other places, in fact, as far as economic centricity goes, that’s pushing left.
And I mean, language can be tricky sometimes. In the very next sentence, Matt also says, “I think there’s a way of doing that but there’s no language that enables people to think that way. You’re either hard left or you’re hard right… I’m not with any of these; I feel like there’s a third way. There’s no existing side that describes what I’m looking for yet…I’m fundamentally anti-authoritarian – that’s just my nature.”
I don’t think the wrong language should preclude the right intentions, and also you can see he’s talking about polarisation and the eradication of nuance (which is like, hmmm, who could it possibly benefit if people can’t meet in the middle, agree to concede even a little, or see their opposers as basically human. Who, I wonder).
It also strikes me that the ‘left’ Matt is talking about is most certainly not the American left either. It’s proper, radical anarchy. It’s a complete overhaul of democratic systems, and certainly far from even a pipe dream in mainstream American politics.
So maybe it’s just a very American reading of political beliefs of people not from America? And in the wave of everything that’s been happening, all of the rest of us have also forgotten how to read global politics. Somehow, all of us but Matt apparently. Makes me want to zoom out a bit; idk, I’ve just thought about this before and wanted to write it down somewhere. This seemed the blog to do it.
Anyway, if you haven’t, I do recommend reading that NME interview, it allows Matt to elaborate a lot more than an Instagram caption or a Twitter post would, and elaborate he did.
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New NASA software simulates science missions for observing terrestrial freshwater
From radar instruments smaller than a shoebox to radiometers the size of a milk carton, there are more tools available to scientists today for observing complex Earth systems than ever before. But this abundance of available sensors creates its own unique challenge: how can researchers organize these diverse instruments in the most efficient way for field campaigns and science missions?
To help researchers maximize the value of science missions, Bart Forman, an Associate Professor in Civil and Environmental Engineering at the University of Maryland, and a team of researchers from the Stevens Institute of Technology and NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center prototyped an Observational System Simulation Experiment (OSSE) for designing science missions dedicated to monitoring terrestrial freshwater storage.
"You have different sensor types. You have radars, you have radiometers, you have lidars—each is measuring different components of the electromagnetic spectrum," said Bart Forman, an Associate Professor in Civil and Environmental Engineering at the University of Maryland. "Different observations have different strengths."
Terrestrial freshwater storage describes the integrated sum of freshwater spread across Earth's snow, soil moisture, vegetation canopy, surface water impoundments, and groundwater. It's a dynamic system, one that defies traditional, static systems of scientific observation.
Forman's project builds on prior technology advancements he achieved during an earlier Earth Science Technology Office (ESTO) project, in which he developed an observation system simulation experiment for mapping terrestrial snow.
It also relies heavily on innovations pioneered by NASA's Land Information System (LIS) and NASA's Trade-space Analysis Tool for Designing Constellations (TAT-C), two modeling tools that began as ESTO investments and quickly became staples within the Earth science community.
Forman's tool incorporates these modeling programs into a new system that provides researchers with a customizable platform for planning dynamic observation missions that include a diverse collection of spaceborne data sets.
In addition, Forman's tool also includes a "dollars-to-science" cost estimate tool that allows researchers to assess the financial risks associated with a proposed mission.
Together, all of these features provide scientists with the ability to link observations, data assimilation, uncertainty estimation, and physical models within a single, integrated framework.
"We were taking a land surface model and trying to merge it with different space-based measurements of snow, soil moisture, and groundwater to see if there was an optimal combination to give us the most bang for our scientific buck," explained Forman.
While Forman's tool isn't the first information system dedicated to science mission design, it does include a number of novel features. In particular, its ability to integrate observations from spaceborne passive optical radiometers, passive microwave radiometers, and radar sources marks a significant technology advancement.
Forman explained that while these indirect observations of freshwater include valuable information for quantifying freshwater, they also each contain their own unique error characteristics that must be carefully integrated with a land surface model in order to provide estimates of geophysical variables that scientists care most about.
Forman's software also combines LIS and TAT-C within a single software framework, extending the capabilities of both systems to create superior descriptions of global terrestrial hydrology.
Indeed, Forman stressed the importance of having a large, diverse team that features experts from across the Earth science and modeling communities.
"It's nice to be part of a big team because these are big problems, and I don't know the answers myself. I need to find a lot of people who know a lot more than I do and get them to sort of jump in and roll their sleeves up and help us. And they did," said Forman.
Having created an observation system simulation experiment capable of incorporating dynamic, space-based observations into mission planning models, Forman and his team hope that future researchers will build on their work to create an even better mission modeling program.
For example, while Forman and his team focused on generating mission plans for existing sensors, an expanded version of their software could help researchers determine how they might use future sensors to gather new data.
"With the kinds of things that TAT-C can do, we can create hypothetical sensors. What if we double the swath width? If it could see twice as much space, does that give us more information? Simultaneously, we can ask questions about the impact of different error characteristics for each of these hypothetical sensors and explore the corresponding tradeoff," said Forman.
IMAGE....A map describing freshwater accumulation (blue) and loss (red), using data from NASA’s Gravity Recovery and Climate Experiment (GRACE) satellites. A new Observational System Simulation Experiment (OSSE) will help researchers design science missions dedicated to monitoring terrestrial freshwater storage. Credit: NASA
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It's all I wish to hear tonight, and you're all I wish to be, and this is how we all fall - Chapter five
Summary: The entire spectrum of human emotions. Feel free to complain if you do not experience an emotion while reading this. Also. This is the last chapter so it's a great time to binge read all of them.
Word count: 3091
Tw: major character death, Alvar's associated illness, minor canonical character death, alcohol mention, drugs mention, swearing
Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @faggot-friday @kamikothe1and0lny @nyxpixels @florida-preposterously @poppinspop @uni-seahorse-572 @solreefs @did-i-say-you-could-get-up @rusted-phone-calls @when-wax-wings-melt @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees @abubble125 @hi-imgrapes @callum-hunt-is-bisexual @xanadaus @callas-pancake-tree @hi-my-name-is-awesome @katniss-elizabeth-chase @arson-anarchy-death @dizzeners @thefoxysnake @olivedumdum
Bonus Garvar tags because you haven't told me to stop: @tw-5 @camelspit
On Ao3 or below the cut!
Previous chapter in case you missed it :)
Garwin spends every spare minute he can searching, searching, searching for the intersection of five rivers. And he has a lot of spare minutes.
Alvar takes a lot of naps.
The hope of finding it dwindles as time goes on and Alvar keeps declining. It gets to the point that sometimes Garwin is afraid to leave him for a moment to track down a new lead.
Soon, Alvar is unable to leave Candleshade, then his bed. His crackling breathing is sometimes the only difference between sleeping and worse--but thinking about that outcome doesn’t do anything to help the situation.
Ruy knocks on the doorframe to one of the many studies in Candleshade, entering without permission and sinking into a plush chair across from Garwin.
Garwin tries to smile at him. It probably doesn’t work.
Ruy’s eyes are rimmed with red, which does pair nicely with the chair. He smiles just as painfully back at Garwin.
“Doesn’t his highness need a chaperone?”
“I needed to talk to you.” Ruy pauses, Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows. “I know you’re determined to find your five rivers, but, Garwin, it’s been weeks. If you were going to find it, you would have by now. I don’t want you losing your mind over this.”
Garwin puts his book down and smooshes himself into the chair next to Ruy, wrapping an arm around him and burying his face in Ruy’s hair.
Hot tears prickle at the back of Garwin’s eyes. The futility of all of this has been going around in his head for a while and Ruy just put it perfectly into words. “I know. But what else can I do? I don’t want to just watch him waste away if there’s a way I can make it stop.”
“I don’t know.” Ruy takes his free hand and ruffles Garwin’s hair.
“I have one final theory. It’s absolutely batshit but if I don’t try it, then I’m gonna blame myself forever.”
“This better not turn into a cycle of ‘just one more thing’ and before you know it, it’s been a week and a half.”
“It won’t. I promise. I’m out of leads to possible leads after this.” Garwin pauses. “If I’m not back before bedtime for whatever reason, please continue the Chronicles of Timothman. If you don’t, I’ll never hear the end of it.”
Well, there will be a definite end if--nope. Deny the truth and it doesn’t exist.
Ruy nods solemnly. “Hail me if you need anything. I’ll be here until then. And by here I mean this chair specifically. I live here now.”
“It is a nice chair. Or maybe you’re a nice chair. Either way, I should get going before it gets dark because I’m an old man now and can’t be outside the house after sunset.”
“Congratulations. Antivampires will now have to be added to the lore of Timmothman.”
Garwin smiles amusedly. “That’ll be fun.” He kisses the top of Ruy’s head before he stands up, joints singing the song of his people for reasons unknown. It’s certainly not because they hurt, well at least more than the human body simply falling apart because it’s an evolutionary dumpster fire.
He ruffles Ruy’s hair before he heads down to find a starlight bottler device thingy. There has to be one somewhere around here, and sure enough, there’s one on the twenty-third floor.
Garwin drags it to a window because getting it to the elevator and outside would be more work and starts looking at the night sky for the unmapped stars.
‘Unmapped’ is a tad bit of a misnomer when they’re in the human Hyperion catalog.
With the other hand, he holds a star app up to the sky, lining up the shot. It might not be dark out, but the starlight bottler device thingy works anyway. This was discovered after Alvar just fucking forgot he had a project in the Universe and had to scrape it together during his lunch hour.
It makes sense because the sun is just a really close star so as long as the sensitivity is adjusted correctly, it still works.
And, sure enough, they’re perfectly lined up, just like the calendar in the Alden shit predicted. It might be a funny coincidence or maybe the metaphorical and literal stars are aligning because someone out there wants Alvar to live.
Garwin flips the switches and collects the light into a very not official bottle, glowing faintly green.
He holds it up to the light before checking that his Nexus is turned on, and steps through the beam of light.
The usual feathery sensation of light leaping is replaced by a feeling of being crushed under boulders. It’s also significantly darker than usual, a deep green haze covering the world that stays in the corners of his vision even after he’s spit out at the other end.
He blinks repeatedly, trying to clear it, and wouldn’t you know it? It’s Sophie fucking Foster and her doofy friends.
Garwin’s hands curl into fists at the sight of Fitz, nails digging crescents into his palms, but he has to stay focused. Unfocus is not an option here.
But god fucking damn that kid has taken enough from me.
Garwin tears his eyes away from them and takes in the scenery. Specifically the fact that there are several rivers--maybe even five--intersecting. It’s also weirdly quiet. Sophie and co. are talking and not bothering to be quiet but they’re completely silent.
Even nature itself is silent, no fluttering leaves making noises, no burbling river. It’s almost as though it’s holding its breath, and so is Garwin, waiting for Sophie and co. to notice him.
They have at least one responsible adult chaperone--Vespera--with them, and she does some weird shit to a tree. The world around Garwin flickers like he bonked a force field in the Hunger Games and he hides behind a convenient tree to avoid confrontation.
Some sort of illusion probably went down because now Sophie and co. are both able to be heard once again--albeit quieter than expected--and they can see the rivers. There’s also a nice pile of rocks they’ve chosen to comment about.
C’mon Sophie, you’ve fucking seen rocks before. Those exist in the human world, believe it or not.
Garwin waits and watches the drama as it goes down--from waddling into the rock pile to Gisela deciding to join the party to Vespera getting exploded to some dwarves kidnapping a goblin man to an almost stabbing of Godzilla.
Sophie must be friends with a psionipath because it certainly isn’t Ruy who takes down the forcefields around their little group as they swarm Godzilla.
Unfortunately, a gray-cloaked figure steps out from where they were living under a rock, proclaiming, “My name is Elysian, and I am the power source you are all here looking for.”
That’s just a tad bit pretentious, one part of his brain thinks.
The rest is simply screaming. Mostly screaming about Alvar. The solution is right fucking over there and kidnapping isn’t exactly the most war-crime-y of things Garwin has imagined.
He lets out a huff and Elysian, whose only distinguishing feature is a pair of big fucking naturals, turns to him.
Garwin leans against the tree, channeling Alvar’s sass as he smirks. “Nice to see you, Sophie. It’s been a while.”
She looks confused for just a second, her photographic memory failing her. Then she blinks and she’s even more confused, trying to reconcile her worlds colliding.
“Hey, Keefster. Nice to see you too. Done any fun running away from your problems recently?”
Keefe breaks eye contact, finding something interesting on the ground to study while trying to not smile.
“How do you know Keefe?” is all Sophie can manage.
“They were the younger sibling I never wanted back when they were in the Neverseen. Thanks again for making me put up with your hellspawn, Gissy.”
Gozdilla rolls her eyes. She’s so much like her son sometimes it’s hilarious. Of course, neither should not be told this because they both correctly believe that the other is insufferable.
“How the Exile do you two know each other then?” Keefe asks, and it’s difficult to tell if they’re asking Sophie or Garwin.
Sophie answers, “he was in my class back when I lived in San Diego. What I can’t figure out is why he’s here.”
“Well, it has a little something to do with Fitz and a little something to do with troll hives and a lot of something to do with a vague half-baked hope that Ely here can do something to solve all my life’s problems.”
Garwin hears Alvar’s voice in his mind saying You’re gonna beg that bitch to let you into Yale? He almost smiles.
“What did I do?” Fitz demands.
“Oh, do you not remember forcing Alvar into a cell in a troll hive? Yeah. He’s my boyfriend. Well, one of them. I’m also dating Ruy if you guys know him. That’s beside the point.”
Fitz stares at Keefe, locked in a telepathic conversation that’s almost certainly, “did you know this?” “Ye.” “What the fuck.” “What’s it to you?” “You didn’t think of telling me that my brother was dating…him?” “There were bigger issues at hand.”
Garwin smiles callously. “Thanks a whole metric fuckton, Fitzroy. Really appreciate it.” He turns to Elysian. “So, all-powerful power source. Can you fix him?”
“I--think so?” she replies, breasting boobily.
“Gonna need guarantees here sooner or later, babe.”
Sophie glances back and forth at her friends at Garwin’s absolute audacity to order Elysian around. Godzilla doesn’t seem too thrilled either. But they can go fuck themselves. They aren’t on anywhere near as tight of a timer as Garwin and he, frankly, would not fucking care even if they were.
Garwin shrugs off the tree and begins approaching Elysian, a leaping crystal to Candleshade in hand. It was a home crystal, once. But Candleshade hasn’t been a home in a long time.
Ely steps back, deep brown eyes glinting golden in the sunset from behind their hood. “I can’t leave this place.”
Garwin stops. Nope. Not when I’m this fucking close. “Can’t? Or won’t?”
Maybe taunting them isn’t the best idea considering he’s a pathetic human and they’re basically the gray equivalent of the genie from Aladdin. Plus tiddies.
But you know what? Let him get blown off the face of the Earth. If saving Alvar means sacrificing himself, then that’s what he’ll do.
Elysian looks back at her pile of rocks.
A wave of calm seriousness, almost desperation, washes over Garwin. “What do I have to do? I’ll give you anything. Just--,” his voice cracks, “--please.”
“I’m sorry. Maybe if you could bring him here--”
Garwin holds the leaping crystal up to the light before they get a chance to finish their sentence.
It simultaneously takes a year and a half and a quarter of a second to run all the way to their bedroom. Is the elevator broken? Is that why it’s taking so long? Hurry the fuck up you stupid piece of shit technology.
He disembarks, finding Ruy in the hallway and time stops.
Ruy is curled up against the closed door of their bedroom. His shoulders shake with violent sobs.
Garwin’s mind puts together the only answer. Alvar’s gone. Passed away. Dead. The euphemisms can’t disguise the absolute heart-wrenching realization that he’ll never see Alvar again.
His knees wobble under him, and he slides down to the floor next to Ruy, too numb to register the door casing digging into his back.
Ruy leans into his side, trembling.
They hold each other for stars know how long. The sun finishes setting and the stars glitter in the sky.
Ruy wipes his nose on Garwin’s sleeve, whispering in a voice rougher than gravel, “He’s--he’s gone.”
Ruy’s words send a spear into Garwin’s already aching heart. He pulls Ruy closer with his free arm. “Can I ask what happened?”
“When you left, he had been napping all afternoon. I don’t know if you heard him complaining about being cold earlier, but he was freezing when he woke up for dinner. He got up to go to the bathroom and made it back to the door frame. He couldn’t fucking breathe.” Ruy stops, a sob burying his face in Garwin’s shoulder. “I didn’t know what to do.”
“Oh, honey. I don’t think there was anything you could do. I’m just--I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you.”
“Don’t be sorry. You were trying to help. I still don’t fucking know what to do now. It was just so sudden. One minute he was fine, or as fine as he gets, and the next he was choking on his own lungs.”
Garwin shifts himself into a shaky standing position, helping Ruy get up. “Come on, I don’t want to get stuck on the floor.”
They’re probably going to eat ice cream and get drunk until reality no longer feels so claustrophobic.
There were also some references in the Alden shit to some elvin plants that sound like they’d be interesting to smoke.
Ruy and Garwin collapse into the objectively best couch three floors down and Ruy asks, “How did your expedition tonight go?”
Cue reality and memory smacking Garwin in the face. “I found the place. And the thing that would’ve theoretically saved him. If I had been just an hour earlier, we would be having a very, very different night tonight.”
Garwin lets Ruy process that because it’s a lot. Even when you’ve been raised conditioned for the impact of death because it is inevitable when you’re a human, it’s a lot.
“Do you still have Gisela’s contact information?”
“Yeah,” Ruy shifts to pull out his Imparter.
“May I borrow that for two minutes or less?”
Ruy nods, handing it over before swiping a tear off of Garwin’s cheek.
Garwin navigates to the unnecessarily hidden texting feature that is obscured by a horrible UI design and lets her know that she and Sophie can fight each other for custody over Elysian. Their services aren’t needed here anymore.
She doesn’t reply but it is left on read. Rude but to be expected.
Garwin gives it back and bundles Ruy into a boyfriend burrito with the blanket that usually lives on the back of the couch for exactly that reason.
“So now what?” Ruy whispers.
“Would you like a finale to the Chronicles of Timmothman?”
Ruy almost smiles, and Garwin takes that as a win. His chest still feels like it has a gaping hole but seeing that glint in Ruy’s eyes appeases it just a little bit.
“Let’s see. Where did we leave him? Ah, yes. Kidnapping children as revenge. Not at all because their parents were pieces of shit. Just because his home village no longer exists doesn’t mean there aren’t more fucked up villages nearby. In doing so, he’s incidentally adopted, like, a dozen children. Most of them aren’t older than five.”
“Oh, stars,” Ruy whispers, terror apparent in his voice.
“And all of them are ankle biters of chaos. Because they’re five. That’s just how that works. So now instead of having a nice, fulfilling life with his boyfriends, instead he gets to herd cats all day. “
“We should get a cat.”
“Put it on the list. Those parents were none too thrilled with the magic tricks of their disappearing children, and, eventually, when a child of one of the members of the higher class--I don’t know how village governments work. The guy’s like ten cents richer than everybody else so he’s basically their god aside from the Christianity they’ve inherited by virtue of being vaguely based on nineteenth century Germany.”
“Would their currency be measured in cents then?”
“I don’t know and I don’t care and I don’t want to find out. You get the fucking point. This guy’s kid gets kidnapped and well this can’t stand so I guess we’re going to have to venture into the evil bad forest to go find him. Side note: the town believes the kid simply wandered away because there can’t be any child stealing monsters in the forest. But it is also evil. Don’t ask.”
“Sounds perfectly accurate. Unreasonable, but accurate.”
“Yeah there’s a whole mob that goes into the forest. Nobody wants to deal with them and they don’t find jack shit. One guy in the mob wanders off never to be seen in the village again. He joins the Erlkönig polycule.”
“Honestly, goals.”
“I know, right. I feel like the new guy needs a name.” Garwin pauses, thinking.
“Is it too soon to name him Alvar?”
Garwin’s breath hitches. It’s probably way too soon but the themes. The narrative demands it. He almost starts crying again. “That’s perfect. Alvar lives a wonderful, luxurious life in der Erlkönig’s castle with Timmy and some other people that weren’t important enough to receive names. And they all lived happily ever after. It’s said, to this day, that if you go wandering long enough in the woods and you’re deemed worthy of finding them, eventually you’ll stumble upon der Erlkönig and his castle.”
“I’ve lived in the woods for many years. Checkmate.”
“Either they weren’t looking for new members or it was the fact you joined the Neverseen at fifteen and that would’ve been a fucked up relationship dynamic if you had found them.”
“I could’ve been an ankle biter.”
“You were already nine when you were banished. That’s four years too ancient. You’d be a menace for someone’s kneecaps by that point.”
“Yeah, I guess. Now I get to be a menace to society.”
Garwin smiles, pressing a kiss to Ruy’s forehead.
As he begins to drift off to sleep, the cold emptiness where Alvar is supposed to be curled against his other side is notably, eternally missing. And there’s no replacing him.
But wallowing isn’t going to solve this, so the only option is to move forward.
Ruy suddenly jolts awake. “Wait, I forgot to tell you.”
Garwin makes an interested noise.
“Alvar made me promise to let him tell you, but now…that isn’t exactly plausible. But, it turns out, with enough bribery and some too-long essays and definitely not forged recommendation letters, you’ve been accepted into Yale.”
It takes a whole second for Garwin to process this. It takes another whole second for him to stop mentally screaming and come up with a coherent response. Even if that response is kissing Ruy.
The future isn’t going to be easy, and it’s certainly unknown. But he’s got Ruy. And that’s what matters.
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Serpent Hill - Frequent Fronters
Most frequent fronters above the cut, less frequent ones below!
Echo - 🦊
Echo is our primary gatekeeper. They ageslide very frequently, but typically stay in the range of a middle. They use they/them and identify as nonbinary and aroace. They adore foxes, and the colour green. Sometimes, even just seeing a picture of a fox is enough to get them into co-front. They love chaos and pranks, and have a secondary role as a chaos holder. They hold a lot of our ADHD too. They also have a habit of befriending absolutely everyone they come across.
Crimson - ♦️
Crimson is Echo's symbiote & protector, and we classify the two as a subsystem. Crimson doesn't identify as a person, but doesn't really mind if you classify him as one. He rarely talks, and typically only interacts with people if Echo is in trouble. His pronouns are down as "he/him + any."
Void - 💜
Void is our primary protector. Xe's known for his loyalty to his family and xeir aggression to anyone who threatens it. Xe can be very cold at times, and typically refrains from interacting with people. He uses he/xe pronouns and identifies as gay (nwlnw). He likes purple and hoodies. You probably won't see many posts from him, but you may see posts about xem.
Lexi - ✨
Lexi is Void's sister, and a very cheerful & happy-go-lucky albeit mildly chaotic alter. She's known as the token lesbian of our system (despite not being the only lesbian) and she's pretty flirtatious. She uses she/xe but doesn't really care - as long as it's not masculine, she'll roll with it. She doesn't have a gender identity label, but she aligns with a feminine gender. Xe likes orangey-gold colours, guitars and sunsets.
Michael - 🧪 or 🥼
Michael J Davis is an immortal scientist, frozen at a physical age of around 28. His mental age is closer to roughly 80 billion, and he's travelled all around the universe in his source. He adores science, and loves tinkering with the science and magic of headspace, breaking laws of physics that wouldn't be possible in the real world and creating new (and usually a little deadly) machines. He's brothers with Clara and has a whole host of kids. He's associated with the colour blue, and he'll probably offhandedly mention the craziest source memories and/or the weirdest advice ever that you've never heard before.
Kaz - 🪼
Kaz is an idiot /pos with a tendency to get in trouble. He's 19ish, and very gay. He's a semihuman, and he likes cyan. Officially, he uses "he/she/they/xe/it/zyr/blyss," but unofficially he likes it when people get creative. When referred to by pronouns that aren't he, it can stop him in his tracks for a second because he's not used to it, but he really doesn't care about what pronouns people use all that much. He'll probably post about his boyfriend, so be warned. /lh. He's also siblings with Void, Lexi, Hayden Jr, and the rest of that family.
Angel Dust - 🌸
Heya toots, I'm Angel. Fictive of Angel Dust from Hazbin Hotel, we hyperfixated a lil too hard. I'm pretty source connected and I like sourcemates, but if you're a source connected V then I ain't talkin to ya, sorry. If ya ain't source connected it really depends.
Clara - 🩺
Clara is a lovely, albeit terrifying, lady. She's a doctor and spends most of her time in the medbay, healing people. She's an adoptive mother to Void and Lexi, as well as over 20 other kids. She's a caretaker but can quickly turn more ferocious than any protector if a child is being threatened. She has a strong eastern european accent (most likely derived from the body's parents) and takes on a motherly, caring role. She identifies with she/hyr pronouns and is somewhere on the aroace spectrum. She likes faded dark blue colours, and also happens to be Michael's non-biological little sister.
Nick - 🎗️
Nick is Michael's lab partner (..they're gay.) and he spends most of his time in the lab. He has amateur fire powers and is fireproof to an extent. Originally, he's a hero!Sapnap fictive from one of those vigilante AUs, but he's very source seperated. He uses most masculine and androgynous pronouns, and likes when people try out new neos for him. He likes the colour orange and he's around 30 years old.
Celskar - 🫧
Celskar uses any pronouns, and he likes neopronouns. He and Michael are queer. He likes shimmering colours, and his favourite is a shimmery purpley-silvery-blue. I'm not putting too much about him here as he's very source-connected and I don't want to put stuff about his source without consent.
Orion - 🪽
Orion uses he/xe/other pronouns, and is associated with pale orangey-yellow colours. He's a self-branded fuckboy, and flirts with almost every alter in our system above the age of like 20. He's a mortal turned immortal, and his physical age is somewhere in the mid 20s. While he can come off pretty strong, he does respect boundaries and will stop flirting with someone if they tell him to. He has desaturated blue hair and gold eyes.
Hayden Jr - 💠
Hayden Jr is the host of a subsystem and the younger brother of Void and Lexi. They're genderqueer and on the aroace spectrum. They like blues and greens, but when picking a colour they tend to lean towards light blues.
Fran - 🦌
Fran is an absolute sweetheart. They're genderfluid, and in their mid 30s. They have a sanctuary-like area and take care of all littles without parents. They often help Clara with her kids as she typically has her hands full at the medbay anyway. They like dark forest greens, and they're a semihuman alter. They have large antlers with flowers blooming from them and large fluffy ears. They are sometimes a satyr and sometimes have human legs, it fluctuates and they've been seen with both.
Sior - 🐺
Sior is our secondary gatekeeper and an absolute sweetheart. He uses he/they/xe. He's a teenager, and he has a heart made of gold. He's part wolf, part weird-bird-thing, and part human. He will not shut up about the wolf side. /lh. He rambles a lot and often gets sidetracked - probably due to his role as a holder of our ADHD. He has an innersys boyfriend, Zack, and the two spend a lot of time together. He's also the son of Celskar and Mateo, but you probably won't hear much about Mateo as he rarely fronts.
Zack - 🛡️
Zack is pretty much the polar opposite of Sior - quiet, focused, and pretty introverted. He loves art and values his alone time just as much as his time with people, though he often lets Sior intrude on both. He usually takes co when Sior's fronting to make sure he doesn't get himself into any trouble. He's the son of Harry D, and the two can often be found playing cards or chess in their common area's lounge.
Katris - 🪄
Katris is the most powerful magic user in our system. He's also 15. One of Michael's kids, Katris is adept at magic and can often do complicated spells that fix things others didn't even know could be fixed. Michael often allows him to help around the lab, and sometimes he can be found helping Clara in the medbay. Now and then, Michael and him can be found watching movies or training together. Katris uses he/they pronouns and is on the aroace spectrum.
Charlie - 🐏
Charlie is a "weird goat - fairy - thing." His pronouns are "he/him but funky," and everything else about him is pretty much just as odd. He improv-swears when stressed and tends to be on the anxious side. He's very gay for his boyfriend(?) and he gets hyper easily. He's on the younger side, around 16 or 17, and he's associated with dark maroon colours.
Lacey - 📋
Lacey is pretty serious, and tends to seem strict. She wears her hair up and has dark glasses as well as a black mask. She's often found hanging around Kaz and Charlie. She uses non-masculine pronouns.
Davina - 💎
Davina's genderfluid, but typically aligns with femme genders. When talking about her and not knowing which gender she currently is, she prefers people use she/they. She's twins with Devin, though he's technically older by a day since she was born just after midnight - a fact he always holds over her. She's very kind and caring in general.
Elliot / Dream - 🟢
Elliot is a fictive from the series Since I Saw Vienna (I'll put down my roots when I'm dead & sequels). He is not c!Dream, or cc!Dream, do not treat him as such. He's decently source connected and doesn't mind talking with sourcemates. He's brothers with our Aftershock fictive and friendly with our Vincent fictive (both from the same source). He fronts now and then but typically prefers to mask as other alters or leave himself down as blurry or anon.
Vincent - 🎶
Vincent is a fictive form the same source as Elliot. He's Aftershock's dad, and the two are very close. He uses he/him pronouns but doesn't mind if people use they for him. He's a protector and takes care of people who aren't able to take care of themselves. He's very dad-like and gets overprotective easily. He's in his 30s.
Vi - 🧤
Vi doesn't front much, but she's still around a lot, and people probably will mention her. She's a fictive from Arcane, and while she has a lot of source memories she isn't super connected to it. She's dating our Caitlyn fictive from the same source, and she helps Clara out around the medbay a lot. She uses she/xe pronouns, and is okay with sourcetalk, but asks you don't presume she's exactly like source - she isn't. She doesn't like talking to source-connected Silco introjects, but if they aren't source connected then she's completely fine with them.
Technoblade - 👑
Technoblade uses he/him pronouns. He doesn't front much, but he's very protective over his little sibling (Echo). He's a fictive from an antarctic empire fic, and is really close with a Phil from the same fic.
There are a lot more, but if any others start fronting more frequently I'll edit this and add them! - Echo
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Why, protecting Sandrock, of course! But you see, I'm like a lion: you may often see me lounging about town in an unassuming way, but as soon as danger rears its fearsome head, I'm always first on the scene, springing into action to deliver flying fists of justice!
Well, except for the instances when I'm not, in which case... well, I'm sure I tried my best to be there.
Spoilers!!
I think about this a lot. It can easily just be gloating and the usual Pen stuff but I still overthink on the use of him calling himself a lion. When his name and the assumption is that Pen is Tiger, especially. The big cat association is just interesting to me. It could be a call to the whole, Leo persona or something - which I've seen talked about. But in looking more I just think about what it means if he's 100% villain or if he's the unlikely but still possible redemption arc character.
Lion can fit as interesting symbolism for Pen and how he comes across. Both in how he views himself and how he wants to be viewed by others. How deep his perception of himself goes is debatable still.
If he's full on villain, a main antagonist, then the whole unassuming bit takes on a new meaning given the whole Duvos relationship he possesses. Also the 'well, I'm sure I tried' can easily come to have a 'hand wavy' tone because he doesn't actually care.
If we swing into the spectrum where a redemption arc is possible, this takes on a new meaning. It keeps the whole self-perception Pen has and whatever he may be playing up (or not). It even could possess some manner of sincerity of trying to make an effort.
But the thing that gets me the most about this is that lions are pack animals. Whereas tigers are solitary. Mother will raise her young fiercely and return to her solitary life - is solitary when doing her responsibilities for her young. Which makes me only think of Matilda there and why she's Tiger.
Pen as a lion makes me want a redemption arc for him. To explore the experimentation done to him and how it may have affected him. Whatever ideas and mannerisms Duvos may have influenced him to possess, on top of his own vanity that grew because of his prowess.
What about the things he has done? Well, Pen could be being Pen by exaggerating the truth or outright lying. Or maybe it didn't go how it actually sounded when he talked about it. There are so many directions to take it, especially if he decides that Sandrock (or even the builder) is his pack. So to speak.
Anyways, the big cat analogy is the main thing here I find to be interesting. This is just the first thought I'm vomiting out. More to come when my brain is behaving.
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FICTIONAL CHARACTER ASK: GROVER
Asked by @princesssarisa
@themousefromfantasyland @the-blue-fairie @thealmightyemprex @amalthea9 @softlytowardthesun
Favorite Thing About Them: He is the character of Sesame Street who is the most like me: Bumbling, imaginative, naive and well meaning, who while trying to help people can sometimes make things worst with lots of mistakes.
Least Favorite Thing About Them: Nothing really, i think he is a great character and a good monster.
Three Things I Have In Common With Them:
*I am socially naive and bumbling;
*I am imaginative;
*I work with atending other people;
Three Things I Don't Have In Common With Them:
*He still keeps calm while other people get angry at him, whereas I suffer anxiety crisis when I know I angered someone;
*I didn't tryed surfing;
*I don't ride horses like he does in his Marshall Grover sketches;
Favorite Line:
From the Monsterpiece Theater sketch parodying Much Ado About Nothing
"Would you carest to hearest the special of the dayest?"
"Its sweet in the telling, sweeter more in the eating: roast suckling pig stuffed with an apple in its mouth surrounded by six baby carrots and eight new potatoes"
"O Sir, You Have to Order Something Else! We are out of carrots! We have zero carrots!"
"O again and O Sir, unhapilly i cannot bring the roast pig! We are out of potatoes! We have zero potatoes!"
"O double and triple O, now we are out of apples! We have zero apples!"
"O Sir, we do not have a cook! I searched the kitchen and found zero cooks!"
brOTP: Kermit the Frog, Big Bird and Cookie Monster.
OTP: Nobody. He doesn't seem interested in romance.
nOTP: Mr Johnson
Random Headcanon: He is on the Autism Spectrum, that is why he takes a slower time to do things like explaining what is or isn't on a restaurant menu and has dificulty to understand why other people get angry at him when he is only trying to help.
Unpopular Opinion: I feel that he is an underrated character compared with the big popularity of Big Bird, Oscar, Elmo, Abby Cadaby, Bert and Ernie and Count von Count.
Song I Associate With Them:
The Feeling Song
Favorite Picture of Them:
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Welcome to yet another clash of fiction and astrology! Today we are exploring Netflix's adaption of Neil Gaiman's "The Sandman", and seeing how a few characters beautifully display the core characteristics of certain houses in astrology.
The connections we will be diving into are:
Dream — Eighth House
The Corinthian — Tenth House
Lucienne — Sixth House
Death — Seventh House
Would you care to sit down while I explain?
Dream
I know that this is a weird association considering he is the master of our dreams, and that immediately goes to the twelfth. However, Dream stresses a lot about how he and the human race are connected on a more sensitive scale — which yes!! Is still very much a twelfth house thing! It's just that the way he talks about it is always transactional and intimate.
Humans provide the emotions, anxieties, goals — the spectrum if you will, for Dream. In return, Dream provides the appropriate 'realm' that they'll receive that night depending on whatever message they need to receive or if they just need a momentary escape. Transactional. It also immediately goes out of balance the second he’s caught and his items are stolen. People stop dreaming and basically go into a comatose state. If he can’t hold up his end of the deal and ensure things are okay, then things fall apart. Which is not necessarily a twelfth house thing. On a much lesser note, there was the whole thing with him having to go through trials and missions and basically rediscover himself all over again to get his tools back which just stinks of eighth house themes. (Which, as a side note, I guess you can place everyone just passing his stuff around as an inheritance?? Right we can place that under inheri)
He also directly deals with death, despite not handling that sector of life. Hell he even got kidnapped in their place. Despite that he witnessed his raven being murdered in front of him and his captor ended up dying from a fatal wound thanks to a blow caused by the very bubble he was bound to. A mortal ended up dying from one of his tools as well. Just to be sensitive, I won’t place any of those examples here, but he’s not very new to those matters.
Speaking of which, his captivity did make many negative feelings bubble to the surface. While Dream is not new to these intense emotions, he is used to controlling them due to his service and how it can cause harm to the dream world. It did paint his view of humans in a negative light for some time and he found it very difficult to ‘just move on from it’. What does the eighth house deal with? Those exact deep, murky, disgusting feelings or thoughts we’d rather not explore. It holds the part of our psyche that is begging to be looked at so we can come face to face with our flaws and embrace our shadow side as something to not lock away and hide, but to soothe and heal.
There’s also this very interesting scene that covers how deep the eighth house goes as well. It covers intimacy, deep emotional turmoil or investment. When things affect this house, it will either make, transform, or break you. We can see the combination of a deep grudge as well a devoted partnership play out (bonus points for it taking place in the underworld)
The eighth house is a very deep pool to dive into, but it should not be scary. You should be encourage to make a dive every once in a while to get used to what’s going on in your waters, to make sure you don’t have to undergo any major maintenance, and everything is working as it should be. Lest you break down at a time you really can’t afford to.
The Corinthian
This man drove me fucking crazy because I could NOT figure out which house he was it only took me seven episodes until they literally spelled it out for me
The tenth house is part of our reputation, and I find it hilarious that I'm writing this during an episode from a sitcom all about someone's reputation. It's a mix of how you present and hold yourself within your career. It can also be around peers that only / mainly know you for your achievements. It's the 'idea' of you that others hold and spread around to those that have even less of a perception of who you really are, thus; the reputation is born.
It can also be the image that you prefer to present yourself as to the public. A shield before people are let in and they get to know your sixth, seventh, eighth, and fourth house. A place to possibly represent the type of fans or followers you'll gain, and what influence you have over people or in that particular area.
There's more to the tenth though, because it's tied to our fourth house (not specifically talking about MC/IC). Our roots, ancestry, family conditioning - all of that follows us and molds us subconsciously into what we want to project or pursue for our career. Which you can see pretty damn well with The Corinthian whenever he interacts or talks about Dream
While Gault took a more passive and friendly approach to 'disobeying' orders and breaking free from what they were made to do, The Corinthian goes 100 mph into a brick wall essentially. Just to prove a point and flip off Dream. There are pretty obvious parallels to a sour relationship for him when he 'bonds' with Jed, even if it's manipulative and still rooted in getting underneath Dream's skin
You can see how much of an impact Dream has on him whether or not he wants to admit it, and that translates right back to the impact your fourth has on your tenth
It's an angle of influence and it gives you a metaphorical soapbox to direct other people who look up to you or see you as someone with wisdom, power, or experience
Remember, the tenth is an incredible angle in your chart. It’s a symbol of where you stand within your field, the quiet power you hold within you. Where you landed after your fourth sent you off. How you can lead others should they look up to you for guidance. There’s much to be tapped into when it comes to this house. There’s a reason why it’s considered an angle.
Lucienne
Ok I'm being objective for this entire post so I get to have my five minutes: this is my bitch right here and of course it is I'm a sixth stellium with a virgo mars leave me alone
Anyway the second they showed up and gave me this line, it was done. I mean I was open for a change of heart, but they were consistent as expected:
Speaks volumes and pretty much sums the sixth up. The steadfast loyalty despite not knowing if Dream would return wouldn't necessarily be tied to the sixth in particular, but from Dream's eyes it gives him a sense of stability and comfort. After going through everything he experienced and coming back to his kingdom in shambles along with 90% of his staff gone, he has one person who attempted to keep things together and was right there the second he returned. It's an idea that someone or something will always be consistent and you know it will be there for you no matter what. Not to an undying, intense level, but just...so you don't have to worry about it. That's the sixth. Also taking care of such a stressful, annoying and mundane thing as journaling every single thing that happened while he was away? Yeah.It's also associated with guidelines and following things correctly (at least loosely)
Gotta be able to clear your checklist off somehow.
There's also a display (at least attempts) of objectivity from Lucienne so they can follow their Lord and the rules placed within their Kingdom, and while Dream was gone, they still attempted to keep the world running so things could keep moving without much problem
Where would the world be without the workhorse that is the sixth house?
Death
If you're still here I'm sure these connections are annoying you but I have a case to make okay!
Death's entire episode (besides the obvious) was about ripping away the fearful aspect of it and showing it in a more 'softer' light. To a point where, at least in the Netflix adaptation, they're probably the most empathetic towards the human race
When looking at Death, you'd think of the eighth house first. Rightfully so. However once they start talking about how we're connected and we feed off of each other — they can't survive without humans and vice versa — it can start to sound like a mix of eighth and eleventh. However, Death can act extremely intimate and caring towards their profession and with others. They take extreme care when showing up for their 'appointments', and when discussing how they just 'have a job to do', they mentioned that they've been here since the first living thing came to be and they'll be the last to go so they can tidy up:
"When the last living thing dies, I'll put the chairs on the table, turn out the lights and... lock the universe behind me when I leave."
This is what the seventh house is. It's gaining energy from the other party during intimate conversations. Feeling like the other person can understand parts of you better than you understand yourself at times. It's a feeling of partnership with others through slowly merging your ego with others before trying to dance with the whole world all at once. It's you not liking pickles on your sandwiches so your partner takes them for you because they like pickles, so the perfect partnership is made.
It's also where you can get help in discovering sides of yourself that you haven't figured out yet, and a great source of personal frustration. The seventh can be parts of you that are so obvious, you end up being blind to them. It's a side of you that you end up only bringing out around people that you feel comfortable with. Parts of you that others will need to help make you aware of by mirroring that energy. It is up to you if you want to make amends with that not-so-hidden side of yourself. Death sealed the deal with this house when they expressed their difficulty with their job in the beginning:
It's an air house, as well as a social one. It encourages growth through interacting with others. It follows houses that want you to build your ego so you can figure yourself out first before engaging with others. Once your roots are firmly planted, you can continue your journey with the help of others to shine lights on things you might have missed, because we can't do everything alone.
Thank you for your time everyone! I hope you enjoyed this post! Honestly I wanted to include Fiddler's Green and other characters but sometimes they don't throw in enough dialogue or screen time for me to make a definitive case (like I definitely wanted to do Matthew, but I cannot argue for the house I claimed). Please let me know your thoughts below, did you also think Lightbringer's battle outfit was sexy because I did.
If you enjoyed this post, please give it a reblog and a like. Be sure to check out my pinned post as my paid readings (both tarot and astrology) are open, and I have more content like this to check out as well! You can also check me out on other social media or drop me a tip too!
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Children of a Lesser God (2001)
Children of a Lesser God / THE MOONIES: Looking to its youth for survival
Don Lattin, Chronicle
Feb. 11, 2001
Mose Durst sat in the living room of a spectacular church-owned home in one of Berkeley's swankiest neighborhoods, just below the Claremont Hotel. It has an Asian flair, panoramic views of San Francisco Bay and the Rev. Sun Myung Moon looking down from a picture above the hearth.
Since the 1970s, Durst has been at the right hand of Moon, the Korean-born evangelist, conservative political activist and self-proclaimed messiah.
Durst has served as the Northern California leader, and the national president, of the Unification Church. Now he's back in the Bay Area, thinking about his legacy, and the future of his church.
On this afternoon, Durst is feeling contrite. He admits that the Moonies made mistakes in the 1970s, when they sent out an overzealous army of tireless recruiters. But it's time, he says, to give his church another chance.
"People perceive us as a bad religious movement, and they isolate us more," he said. "If you think we're evil, let's sit down and talk. Let's find common ground. Otherwise, you force us into a cul-de-sac, like at Jonestown or Waco."
For years, the Moonies have struggled to make the leap from "cult" to "religion," to win credibility among political and religious leaders in the United States and around the world.
Through such publications as the Washington Times, a church-affiliated, conservative daily newspaper in the nation's capital, and through alliances with priests and pastors across the theological spectrum, Moon and company have spent a fortune courting the opinion-makers of church and state.
Now the church is looking closer to home, at the next generation of Western converts.
Durst confesses that, in the early years of Moon's American mission, church leaders erred in assuming God would provide for the children of devotees. The first kids born into the movement, he concedes, did not always get the parental attention they deserved.
"We were trying to build the church up locally - we were hot to build the kingdom," he said. "There were times in the early years when the hardest thing was building a church, while being responsible for your family. You wanted to be part of a spiritual community. People would put their kids in a nursery. When it was not done well, there were all kinds of shortcomings.
"We made mistakes," he said. "We did dumb things."
Durst says there are about 10,000 members of the Unification Church in the United States. He concedes that the number is much lower than figures the church reported in earlier years.
"That's right," he said with a smile. "I no longer lie."
Worldwide, the Moonies claim 3 million members, with most of them living in Korea and Japan. Some scholars, however, say the actual number of committed adherents may be closer to 250,000.
Nevertheless, Moon has built one of the wealthiest religious movements in the world, with extensive business interests and land holdings in Asia, South America and the United States.
Today, the movement has reorganized into more familiar religious congregations. It has embraced the nuclear family and refocused its efforts on passing its teachings onto the next generation.
The new focus can be seen at the largest Unification Church congregation in Northern California, the Bay Area Family Church, housed in a nondescript building in San Leandro.
At a recent Sunday service, a band with guitar and drums played upbeat music while about 150 worshipers, a mix of Asians and Caucasians, found seats on rows of red padded pews.
There were a lot of children running around the complex, which contains a K- 8 school, the Principled Academy, for 125 children.
The communal days are over. Most Moonies live in their own homes, with their own children, and work outside jobs.
"We still proselytize," said the Rev. Bento Leal, associate minister at the San Leandro church, "but it's different when you have a house full of kids and a full-time job."
Many of the families in this congregation were brought together in a mass marriage ceremony in New York's Madison Square Garden in 1982, when Moon presided over the weddings of 2,075 couples.
Not only does Moon preside over these ceremonies, he picks the spouses for his devotees and advises them as to what sexual positions to assume when they consummate their marriages.
Although these prescribed marriage rites sound strange to the uninitiated, they are a key part of Unification Church theology.
Moon teaches that he and his wife are the "True Parents" of a new spiritual lineage born without original sin. This spiritual status is purportedly passed on to "blessed children" born from Moonie marriages.
According to a church survey released last year, 82 percent of the couples brought together in Madison Square Garden are still married, and still consider themselves members of the Unification Church.
They have had an average of 2.5 children per couple.
Because the oldest kids born from that highly publicized union are still teenagers, the church cannot yet say how many will keep the Moonie faith.
"The real test comes when they are in college and out on their own," Leal said.
Among the tested will be Christopher Barker, born in Manhattan to Moonie parents in 1983.
During the 1970s, his father, Garry, who had grown up in the Catholic Church and attended parochial school, joined the Moonies and started a coffeehouse, Aladdin's, on College Avenue in Oakland. They had great New York cheesecake and served it up with a dose of Unification Church theology.
Barker and Durst were part of "the Oakland family," which produced some of Moon's most zealous proselytizers and fund-raisers.
Recruits harvested from the streets of San Francisco or the University of California at Berkeley campus were whisked up to an isolated church compound in Mendocino County for days of "love-bombing" and alleged "brainwashing."
It was the height of the cult wars of the 1970s, a battle over religious liberty and personal freedom that would see its horrific crescendo in the South American jungle with the murder-suicide in 1978 of 914 followers of the Rev. Jim Jones.
Christopher Barker's mother, Renate, was approached by Moonie missionaries on the street in Munich in 1971, when she was 20 years old. Three days later, Renate joined the Unification Church.
"My mother was very upset," Renate recalled. "She thought I'd been drugged or something. My parents tried to kidnap me, but I was very dedicated."
What attracted her to Moon?
"I was always very religious," she said. "I'd studied the Bible and Oriental philosophy, but I looked at people who went to church, and their lives didn't change. It didn't have an impact on their lives."
Renate came to the United States in 1973 with 70 other European missionaries.
Their mission was simple - to save the world.
"Rev. Moon felt America was so important to the whole world, we thought that if we saved America, we would save the world."
Moon matched Renate and Barker in 1979, but they communicated only through letters for the next three years. They were married in Moon's mass marriage ceremony of 1982. Today, they live in Hayward with their three children, Christopher, 17; Amalia, 15; and John, 11.
During a recent Sunday service, the family stood outside the Moonie church in San Leandro. Christopher was asked what it was like to be a "blessed child."
"My understanding is we were born without original sin, since they were matched by the True Father," he replied. "We are the culmination of all that work, and it's up to us to carry on what they want us to do."
Part of that legacy is no sex before marriage and agreeing to a union arranged by the Rev. Moon.
His sister is saving herself for that day.
"You are waiting for that one person, and not wasting your love on other people," Amalia said. "We believe in total fidelity in your marriage, so you're not comparing them with other boyfriends you've had before."
Her older brother also has vowed to stay chaste until he marries.
"Dating is kind of like practicing for divorce," he said. "When you're done with that person, and when problems come up, you dump them and go on to someone else."
Both teenagers attended the Unification Church's Principled Academy through the eighth grade, and are students at Bishop O'Dowd, a Catholic high school in Oakland.
"I haven't told anyone there that I'm a Unificationist, or a Moonie," Christopher said. "My friends can see I'm not a normal teenager who has girlfriends and everything."
Renate Barker said she and her husband have learned lessons from the child- rearing mistakes of early Moonie parents.
"In those days, the thought was that the children would just automatically turn out good, just by God talking to them or something. We thought we didn't really have to take care of them. It was naive."
Garry says only time will tell if the Unification Church is a forgotten cult, or a "religious movement with legs."
"All religions start out like this," he said. "The proof is going to be three, four, or five generations from now. When Rev. Moon dies, nobody knows what will happen. That will be the big test."
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Impostor Syndrome
The following is an interview that came from the last issue of Divergent magazine before the failure of MyntBank.
It's a well-known fact that autistic people struggle with job interviews. During interviews, an autistic person must mimic a neurotypical person all the time. Hiring managers watch for signs of dishonesty, which sometimes look like symptoms of autism.
Many argue that job interviews inherently select against autistic people in favor of neurotypicals. Some people go as far as to say that any autistic person that gets a job after completing a successful job interview was almost always hired by accident. Those who disagree with this theory argue you don't need to mimic a neurotypical that much when you already have the job. You just need to mimic part of the time. If you do a good enough job, you don't have to mimic a neurotypical at all. Coworkers will put up with your weird behavior just because you're good at your job.
Today, we're talking to Judith (not her real name), a 24 year old college graduate on the spectrum who had accidentally been hired by MyntBank on two separate occasions.
Divergent: Can you describe the interview process for MyntBank?
Judith: I got my job at MyntBank through a new grad rotation program. Two minutes before the scheduled interview time, the person who contacted me with the interview information told me her colleague will do it instead of her, but he is up to speed. Right out of the gate, he says that we have to do it one way due to an unstable internet connection. He talked nonstop for precisely one hour.
He referenced news stories that people wouldn't talk about after a few weeks that were at least 3 months old. He targeted his speech not to me, but to a large audience. I asked if it was a recording and then I signed off.
I must've done something right because I got the rotation job. They didn't even ask for my transcript.
Divergent: What was the internship like?
Judith: My rotation began with Business Intelligence for Equity Research, next I worked in ML Engineering for Business Banking, and finally, Data and Analytics for Derivatives. I learned something very important: capital markets executives view ML engineers as smart, data scientists as lazy, and business intelligence as complainers.
Now, you would think that capital markets executives have respect for data scientists because we're the ones uncovering fancy new ways for the Bank to make money. Well, you would also be wrong. They don't really understand us. We exist outside the hierarchy of analyst, associate, and managing director, but at the same time are paid at the same echelon as the people high on the food chain.
Data science is not a job that has a lot of fires. If anything, you start the fires that the ML engineers and risk managers have to put out. Everybody thinks that scientists do nothing because they don't have to hustle.
The C-Suite people brag about working 60, 70, or even 80 hours a week. They think that those who aren't working 75 hour weeks are lazy. They are diametrically opposed to working smarter instead of harder. Good luck getting them to understand that the mandate for a data scientist is to follow the evidence where it leads and think about stuff. The work of a data scientist suffers if they have to hustle.
Divergent: How did you go from your internship to a full time position with Mynt?
Judith: During my data analytics rotation, I got a term project requiring me to look for signals representing unusual market behavior. The Bank prohibited anybody from using pip install on their machines because a disgruntled employee in the back office used pip install to load libraries that they use to build a virus that crippled the KYC system. Getting rid of pip install meant that nobody could use Python for their work anymore. Given that Python is the coding lingua franca of the finance world, this decision would spell disaster for the organization.
Because the Bank got rid of pip install, I had to write my own imbalance sampling algorithm to finish the work on my project. I implemented it in such a way that it had a linear run time. I deployed the imbalance sampling algorithm for the first time right before a long weekend. It took 72 hours to train the model I was working on, which meant my computer was running all weekend. Upper management interpreted that as me burning the midnight oil over a holiday weekend.
I got invited to a lunch interview with the head of the data analytics department. They considered me for a role with the signal integration working group. Lunch included some salad and mashed potatoes with peas mixed in, supposedly to "test the emotional maturity of candidates." Even though I got very upset about the peas touching the potatoes, I still got a full time job with that group.
Divergent: Was it easier to manage your autism during your internship or during the full-time job?
Judith: A month into my new job, they came up with a new rule requiring masks on zoom calls. The rationale they gave us was that employees feel there is less discrimination between nice looking versus bad looking people. Wearing a mask puts video call participants all on the same level.
There's a problem with that. Masking on zoom calls robs employees ability to read lips. I have a disability that impairs my ability to process spoken language. We don't have captions on our zoom calls because captioning introduces its own privacy concerns as the video conferencing system we used at the time records dialogue to generate the captions.
I am far from the only person who has this issue. That working group had seven people, three of them are deaf, and the other four (myself included, by the way) had neurological disabilities where they need to see the mouth for communication.
I keep the "I'm having dental work done" in my pocket for skipping meetings . It's perfect. Nobody questions it and everybody can relate to it. I used that excuse for the first time, but I didn't get the reaction I expected. "Stop eating so much crap".
I couldn't understand what anyone was wearing because everyone was masked and there were no subtitles, so I accidentally agreed to this signal processing project where I had to decompose time series of alternative indicators for a given market (in this case, the derivatives market) into constituent signals, overlay the results against that of a synthetic best or worst case scenario, and develop a modeling strategy to predict whether the current picture would evolve into a good or bad scenario.
It was interesting, but it raised a lot of questions that require a lot of labor to get the data to answer them and you don't always know whether or not you've gone down a rabbit hole. Usually, you can surmise when you're going to go down a rabbit hole before it actually happens, but you can't do that here because you don't know what you don't know. It was also a really sensitive project. If you end up down a rabbit hole and out of sight of the main idea, it has the potential to be catastrophic.
Divergent: How do they find out they hired you by mistake not once, but twice?
Judith: I had to present my results on a surprise call. I couldn't for the life of me explain my analysis methods to the banking regulator. If you struggle to explain your analysis method to the regulator, you're cooked. Their first inclination is to look for signs of dishonesty.
Regulators don't like modeling strategies that involve lots of steps. They don't like stuff that's poorly explained. They really hated my explanation of my modeling strategy because it sounded suspiciously like market manipulation.
The bank got fined $14 billion that they had to pay by close of business the following day. They didn't pay up. It takes their billing department in Cameroon 18 months to pay for stuff and that includes fines.
After they finally got that fine paid, they decided that the whole debacle was my fault. They called me into this meeting with a bunch of executives. They had the CEO at one under the table and me at the other, and all of them glared at me. It was pretty horrifying.
They said they tried to fire me but it didn't go through. The head of human resources looked into it a little bit further and it turned out that I have been hired by accident for both the internship and the full-time role. the head of the internship program spoke up and said I accepted the offer of employment before the computer glitch that sent out the letter was rectified. The head of the data analytics department admitted to hiring me because, as he put it, "I could only remember her name because she caught food in her boobs."
Divergent: Have you been able to find a job since then?
Judith: Not really, no. I've been working with an employment counselor, applying to whatever jobs I can find, and I'm struggling to get a callback. I don't know if it's because the people at Mynt have blackballed me or if the market dried up. I hope I get something soon.
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