#we lost a piece of ourselves in Eden

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Kino Dark [09]

ー The scene starts in the living room of the Sakamaki manor

Kou: Oh come on! Now isn’t the time to sleep, is it, Shuu-kun? Wakey, wakey~!

Shuu: Haah...Shut up. You two again...? What do you want today?

Subaru: ...The same crap again?

I thought we made ourselves clear that we don’t give a damn ‘bout who becomes Adam at this point in time? 

Ruki: About that, the four of us actually sat down one more time to discuss the matter. 

And we believe that there must be a good reason why that man decided to pass down his powers to Ayato. 

Kou: In other words~ If some other random guy suddenly appears to try and take those away from Ayato... 

It means that something bad must be waiting to happen, no? 

Reiji: ...I see. So you have come to the conclusion that we should attempt to rescue those two as soon as possible? 

Ruki: Well, I suppose that’s what it comes down to. 

Kou: As to be expected of Reiji-kun! You’re quick to understand! Anyway, the four us did a bit of investigating. 

And we believe that Ayato-kun and M-neko-chan are most likely at the manor of this guy named Kino.

Shuu: Kino...? So he’s the aforementioned...? 

Ruki: Yes. The guy who claims himself to be your brother. 

Laito: Hmm, Kino-kun...huh? Then shouldn’t we head over there quickly to go save those two?

According to what you told us the other day, this Resistance Group going by the name of ‘Raven’ consists entirely of Ghouls aside from Kino-kun, right? And not Vampires? 

Subaru: Hah! It’d be a piece of cake then! We should be able to wrap them up before mornin’ comes.

Ruki: Well...If things go according to plan, at least.

Reiji: ...Is there anything? 

Ruki: ...No, it’s nothing. Well then, let us be on our way.

ー The scene shifts to the outside of Kino’s manor

Laito: So this is the place? 

Kou: That’s what our Familiars told us but...

Shuu: ...What’s this? It’s suspiciously quiet. 

Laito: They’re probably asleep? Come on, let’s get this over with nice and quick. 

ー They enter the manor

Kanato: Nobody’s...around.

Subaru: Oi, Kou! I thought you did your proper research!? 

Kou: Eeh~!? You’re putting the blame on me!? How could you, Subaru-kun!

Ruki: Sh! Be quiet! I believe I heard something just no...Guh!? 

Kou: ...! Ruki-kun!?

Ruki: ...! So it was a trap after all!

ー They are suddenly surrounded

??? A: So you fell for it, Vampires! We shall settle the score here once and for all!

??? B: We shall get rid of all of you and bring true peace to this World...!

Shuu: ...These guys...Vampire Hunters...!? 

Laito: Vampire Hunters!? Why would they be here...!? 

Shuu: We can think about that later! Here they come!

*BANG BANG*

*WOOSH*

Kanato: Why...How did this happen!? 

Kou: Ruki-kun, are you alright...!? Hang in there...!

Ruki: Yes, I’m fine. Don’t worr...Ugh...

Reiji: Anyway, it would be dangerous to stay here in the human world any longer. Well then, let us go!

Shuu: ...A Vampire is working together with the Church...?

Who on earth is that Kino guy...?

ー They pass through the gate to the Demon World

Monologue

Right before we left the manor,

I found an opening to talk to Ayato-kun. 

Ayato-kun told me that for now,

we should do as Kino-kun says

and wait out the situation. 

I shared this opinion. 

Kino-kun had put a pair of handcuffs,

on Ayato-kun beforehand.

Apparently these handcuffs were special,

as they would keep his magic suppressed. 

I am not doing this,

because Yuuri-san warned me not to resist,

but if I don’t approach this the right way,

I will only have to face the painful consequences. 

I did try to ask him,

where exactly we were headed,

but just as I thought,

Kino-kun showed me an ambiguous smile in response, refusing to tell me. 

While this would not be my first time,

visiting the Demon World,

when I would look at the area around me,

I felt as if we were headed,

somewhere I had never been before. 

Time passes slowly over here. 

So I have lost track of what day it is,

and for how long exactly,

our journey has been going on.

Then one day,

Kino-kun abruptly spoke up. 

Yui: Eh? What was that...?

*Rustle* 

Kino: ...Like I said, Rotigenberg. You wanted to know about it, no?

Our destination. The Cursed Wastelands of the Demon World...

Ayato: Tsk...

Yui: ...?

( I’m pretty sure Ayato-kun’s expression changed just now... )

Selection

→ Check up on Kino-kun (<3)

Yui: ( I’m curious but Kino-kun has forbidden me from talking with Ayato-kun, period... )

Kino: ...Hm? Is something the matter? Ah, are you curious about Rotigenberg, perhaps?

Yui: ...Yeah.

Kino: Well, I guess that’s something to look forward to for when we get there. Fufu...

Yui: ( That only gets me even more curious...! )

→ Check up on Ayato-kun

Ayato: ...

Yui: ( ...? Huh? Did I just imagine it? )

( Either way, I’m forbidden from talking to Ayato-kun. )

( I’m a little curious though... )

Yuuri: Kino, we will have to cross the mountains once we get out of the forest, so let us rest up right here.

Kino: Good idea. 

Well then...The usual, okay?

Yui: ...

*Thud*

Monologue

Ever since we left on this journey,

Kino-kun would always use handcuffs to tie our hands together,

whenever we went to bed. 

Of course, I’m not thrilled about it,

but after going this process time after time,

I’ve finally come to the point where I can get a few hours of sleep. 

Kino: Well then, goodnight.

Yui: ...

Ayato: ...

Yuuri: ...

Yui: ( Even when Kino-kun is asleep, Yuuri-san is always keeping an eye on us... )

( I guess I won’t get a chance to talk to Ayato-kun after all. )

...

( I’m kind of exhausted. I suppose I’ll get some shut-eye as well... )

ー Yui closes her eyes

Yui: ...

Kino: ...Uu...Aah...

ー She opens her eyes again

Yui: ( ...What was that just now...? )

Kino: Haah...Kuh...Stop...Why...I...

*Rustle* 

Yui: Kino-kun...?

Kino: No...I was...chosen! ...You’re wrong...No!

Yui: ( What’s happening...!? )

Kino-kun!? What on ear...

Yuuri: Wait, please.

Yui: ...Yuuri-san...? But Kino-kun is...

Yuuri: ...He is fine. So please, be quiet.

Yui: ...

Yuuri: Please do not let it bother you and get some sleep. We have a long journey ahead of us after all...

Yui: Okay. Goodnight...

Kino: ...Haah...Nn...

Yui: ( Is it really okay...? He’s suffering so much... )

( But the way Yuuri-san reacted...It’s almost as if he’s used to it... )

( ...I wonder if there’s something to this...? )

Monologue

I decided not to let it bother me,

as I forced myself to close my eyes. 

Kino-kun continued to mumble,

as he kept on denying (否定) something,

again and again. 

I wonder what exactly it means? 

While pondering over that,

and before I had realized,

I once again drifted off to sleep (眠り). 

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #kino #lost eden #diabolik lovers translation #lekinodark9

[hyenahunt]

Conquest: Epilogue - 2

Writer: Akira

Season: Spring

Proofreading: royalquintet (JP & ENG)

Translation: hyenahunt & haranami

Hiyori: Silly boy, I'd never allow something so sad to happen, would I? The only way to ever end things is if everyone can see it through with a smile!

[Location: Conquest Stage]

Nagisa: ......

Hiyori: ......

Jun: (Ugh~ God, the tension's so thick you could cut it with a knife...)

(Here I thought Ohii-san was finally looking in Nagi-senpai's direction but — he's literally glaring daggers at him?)

(He may have said he's angriest with himself and all, but maybe in the end it's still Nagi-senpai's tyranny that really pisses him off...?)

Hiyori: ......

Nagisa: ......

Hiyori: ...... (Wordlessly, he pulls Nagisa into a hug)

Nagisa: ...... (Nodding, he hugs Hiyori back)

Jun & Ibara: — What are you guys doing!?

Hiyori: — Ooh, you were in perfect sync there.

Nagisa: …Fufu. I see that you two are still as close as ever.

Jun: Dude, no way, don't you mean yourselves ~?

It felt like things were gonna blow up literally any second, but instead you suddenly hug each other!?

Ibara: Yes, couldn’t you at least give us some sort of warning?!

This was far too sudden; I was so shocked, every coherent thought completely flew out of my head!

Nagisa: …What is there to think about? After this, we’ll reconcile with Eve on stage and amicably sing together.

Hiyori: Yes, yes! There was no other way this could've gone, obviously!

Come now, I know full well that the plan was to put on an act like that, but to behave as though I resented Nagisa-kun and we were fighting was just truly, terribly, downright awful and—

I just couldn't take it! So the moment I saw Nagisa-kun's face, next thing I knew I'd rushed over and hugged him! That's a fine weather... ☆

Nagisa: …Yes, that truly is fine weather ♪

Jun: Whaaa...?

Ibara: Er, no, I’m already well aware that the two of you are incredibly close; you flirt and initiate physical intimacy at every given opportunity.

But... what? Is this real? Please forgive me for my distrustful nature, but I must ask ― are you really, truly, being serious?

Is there not even the slightest bit of ill will between the two of you? You mean to say that everything was just an act, and you were only pretending to fight this entire time?

Nagisa: …Is that not what Conquest is about?

Hiyori: Yes, yes, I did just as I was told, so do go on and lavish your praise upon me!

Let's hear it! “Splendid work, Eden! Well done, Eve! A most incredible performance, Nagisa Ran and Hiyori Tomoe!"

Nagisa: …We completely fooled you, didn’t we? One must deceive their allies before they can deceive their enemies ♪

Hiyori: Ahaha, as much as Ibara likes to play the strategist, even he still has a long way to go ☆

Ibara: ……

Jun: Damn, you actually managed to shut him up...

But um, when'd it start? Since when was all this an act?

Hiyori: From the very beginning, of course.

... is what I'd like to say, but it was actually from the day Nagisa-kun ordered my exile and all that.

That night — as I lay despondent and alone in my bed to think things over, a memory sprang forth.

A looong time ago, when I was but a child who didn't know the meaning of self-restraint...

There was a time when I lost my temper with Nagisa-kun, for try as I might he simply wouldn't understand a thing I tried to teach him.

And so I said, “Enough! I don't care anymore, get out of here!"

"Get out of my house!", I told him. Children can be so cruel, can't they? So Nagisa-kun, this whole “exile" situation was basically to get back at me for that time, wasn't it?

Nagisa: …Yes. Anyone would find it painful to lose the place where they belonged.

…We certainly aren’t creatures who feel satisfied by simply having shelter from the elements.

Hiyori: Mm. After all, we must surround ourselves with smiles, warmth and love.

I would much rather be with those I hold dear, eating quiches packed with what I cherish.

Nagisa: …I would be fine without any quiches. They fall to pieces the moment you bite into them, so they’re quite hard to eat; I don’t like them very much.

Hiyori: Really? I can't believe this — to think you'd be unable to appreciate the merits of the perfect delicacy!

I never thought you were this kind of person, Nagisa-kun! I'm very disappointed!

Nagisa: …Fufu. And what would you like to do about that? Shall we clash head-on to see who’s right? Shall we have another Conquest?

Hiyori: Bring it on! Win or lose, I'll emerge without a scratch!

Ibara: No. No. No, no, no―

Hiyori: What's that? Is there something you don't understand, Ibara? Would you like me to explain just what I mean?

In essence — should I win, Nagisa-kun must acknowledge just how delicious quiches are.

And even if I lose, the fact that quiches are delicious will remain a quintessential truth, no?

Ibara: No, I couldn’t care less about quiches! That’s not what this is about― wait, what?

Was this entire issue about something as trivial as your tastes in food? Huh?

Jun: Seeeriously...? I was so on edge, man — I mean, I took the whole thing seriously and it worried me real bad, y'know~

I'd finally been getting on so well with Ibara and Nagi-senpai, and thinking that we'd have to part with 'em on such bad terms was just—

Hiyori: Silly boy, I'd never allow something so sad to happen, would I? The only way to ever end things is if everyone can see it through with a smile!

And that would be such fine weather ♪

Hiyori: Of course, reality has its own complex little mysteries, and you'll find lies and sadness every which way you look. You could even think of it as a tightrope, from which you'd tumble headfirst should you let your guard slip for even a second, you know?

Jun-kun! Even in such a world, your beloved, esteemed Ohii-san will continue on towards a beautiful horizon with a smile on his face. All the while dancing, all the while singing!

And all the while with everyone, every step of the way.

✦✦✦✦✦

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#hiyori tomoe #jun sazanami #nagisa ran #ibara saegusa #enstars #ensemble stars #enstars translation #type: event #s: conquest #era: !! #status: complete #hyenahunttl

[thelordstears]

I think it’s time to show some lines and how much I’ve improved eh?

“ You see, we're all living our lives confined in this little, locked room, we store our thoughts here, our dreams, our doubts, our darkest confessions. But the right people come along with a key and find the real us quivering in a corner of ourselves we fear with all our fuckin' might. All of humanity fears. And so in the span of a blink life created death to separate what is bad, and what is good. “ - Shawn Werdelstein

“ I look deep into my eyes and I swear I can see her darkness flickering in my damn eyes, she took my heart in her murderous stride, flaying me of all my salvation, tellin' me I was nothin' more then livestock on her farm of delicacies and delights. “ - Lupin Rinderez

“In the end I was never really human in the eyes of those who hate me, was I? I was always a toy to those more wicked then I, and so I have rotted in a chest of forgotten dolls and stitched together souls lost to time." - Ingretta Shazowlla

“ Some men are born for prison. They're raised in a cell, and told this is all you can ever be, and when they finally scratch their way out of that prison, they start to get homesick, so they find themselves a new cell, a new Hell, a new home away from home. Chaos is peace ta the broken man. “ - Francis Killvawhile

“ Karma doesn't care about how small the sin was, she just reaps. “ - Scarla Scottaine

“ There's something foreign about an empty bed, something unfamiliar about holding my own hand, it's like love is a language we speak, and when it leaves us we can no longer speak the language of the loveless, because we're already native in the country of love. “ - Finn Desandra

“ The darkness of my past caught up to me and killed the kind pure hearted man I thought I'd forever be, I was always doomed to become a reflection of my father. But with these bloodied and cracked pieces of me I'll bleed him with broken pieces of his reflection. “ - Alviro Conritz

“Isn't it funny? How men and women alike will pull a trigger on another when faced with a gun at their own heart, held steady in the hand of a man who never misses?” - Remington Burlwitz

“ I am Eve luring Adam to his fate.” - Belle Nalroma

“ I am a grave of fireflies and ravens whom head out to war, a wolf of death and anguish that drove me to madness. Don't you call me a freak, I'm just a little bit different, my mind is an eternal state of flickering emotion and madness that has never left me be. In truth the firing of this rifle is the only thing that keeps me alive, it is the beating of my heart and the howl in my soul, so dare you fire back with pieces of your heart shattered in the bullets? “ - Luther Woolhaun

“ I feel like a blank slate that's always re-written. “ - Wendell Ace

"I look at who I am with judgmental eyes.” - Earl Mumford

“ Believe the tales of dead men, they have a perspective like no other. “ - Earl Mumford

“ Stepping up to me ain't a fucking war, it's an execution disguised as such. “ - Saul Northutt

“ Decaying and gentle I shall be lain to rest as the Devil the world mourned. “ - Jonkiv Kramteil

“ Look, the truth is a hard pill to swallow, but swallow it you will. “ - Simon Rossburg

“ I'm a killer and a cheat, if my dagger is unstained remember, there's etches of lives lost on the handle, do you really wanna become another scar on the wood of my blade? “ - Killgrove Butcher

“ Mercy is a surefire way to meet God, so I sling an old club wrapped in barbed wire over my shoulder and watch the river spill crimson. “ - Olivia Juarez

"They call kindness weakness, so I must be the strongest bitch in town.” - Olivia Juarez

“ My wrath comes down like a cold rain of daggers when faced with the wicked, if they ain't ready to die then they best fucking prepare for it, cause those who use the powerless as a simple stepping stone to Heaven don't deserve the breath in their damn lungs. “ - Lucille Ramaswami

“ That man, that wicked fuckin' man, 'e's an old vulture sittin' atop the Church waitin' for the holy ta fall down the steeple, 'e swoops down and picks their bones 'a love, 'a holiness, 'a morality. And den, the holy become the damned. “ - Maxwell Soderstrom

“ The Devils and snakes in the grass should fear the gardener with his shovel ready to bury the pests." - Guarva Plucker

“ Don't call me your hero, cause heroes don't kill good men." - Al Hunderson

  "Brother, there's somethin' sinister brewin' in the bones of humanity, has been since the Neanderthals huddled in caves, lighting fires underneath the murky walls of a place they could call home. I'm afraid you're gonna have to be a little more specific." - Roman Hemlock "Ya can always spot the little, tinges of darkness in the bad man's eye, the little seams of pain that follows 'em." - Sandro Colorfeid

"I slither and slide into the darkness, a basilisk hiding in shadow and sin, biting into the forbidden fruit of Eden with glee and cruelty flickering in my snake likes eyes." - Vexine Hatchet

"I stood with blood on my hands and a snarl on my lip. It was from that moment on, Nico no longer were." - Nico Litchenfels

“ I'm a cutthroat fucker with his heart bared open and cruel on his trench jacket's sleeve. “ - Nico Litchenfels

"I stood like a question never asked, and then before I had the chance to give myself an answer in the echoes of my insanity, she smiled and asked who I was." - Zachariah Rinderez

"I have died a thousand times, Minerva. But you make me want to live again." - Simon Drogace

"I'm not lucky enough to be me." - Simon Drogace

“Do you ever feel like, your mind is a hammer?” - Simon Drogace

"He stood there, like a wicked omen of what never should've been, a testament to all humanity tried to kill." - Neal Marrows

"Losing yourself is a game no one can win." - Neal Marrows

"You know me, just a grave of who I was, grasping the soil wondering why it always slips between my fingers." - Sam Dellwotfire

"Someone once asked me what life before war was like, and truthfully, I've never known." - Hunter Creasey

"You spend your whole life under the shadow of death it starts to become you, and as you let the light it in, as you let your heart burst in seams of color and little figments of love and joy, that's when the shadow casts itself over you the longest. As soon as you start to live, death comes on by to greet you as if she were an old friend, and as I live through the essence of love and peace, I can see a smile filled with the lost lives of all whom ever walked greeting me on a road all too familiar." - Hunter Creasey

"I'm the mad man's greatest friend, but in the eyes of the sane, in the eyes of all whom stand against cruelty, I'm a weapon, an atomic bomb that'll level the city of peace to dust." - Moores Thomas

"It is in madness and grief we find who we really are. So who's to say humanity was supposed to live in peace? After all, even our mind tells us things we could never dream of with intrusive thoughts, and in the end some of us succumb to the darkness every single mind brews." - Moores Thomas

"You see, madness starts with a small seed the human race calls trouble, it comes in many different variants, some get in very small dosages all their lives. But mad men get a taste of trouble long before they know what the word means." - Moores Thomas

"The way I see love, it's an interesting sort of medicine. One moment it stitches together the loose threads of your heart, and in the very next it unravels you like a spool of thread." - Cornelius Combs

"I walked into the Church only to be spat out, falling down the sinner's steeple coughing up bloodied pieces of my faith." - Takizen Fruivein

"Challenging what I've become is a fools game, and my friend, I am no fool." - Allinza Harzvi

"Humanity is not inherently kind, everything we've seen, and everything we are, is proof of that testament." - Allinza Harzvi

"We are never in the same boat, we are in the same storm, facing life's darkness with different privilege's." - Caldvain Lucelo

"You know, someone once told me you have control over your own mind, but as it drifts away from me as smoke in the dying embers of a midnight wildfire, does that statement still hold true?" - Harvin Scoviney

"God does not help. He observes." - Victor Da Ville

“ You can't explain what evil means without mentioning the feared name of Cassidy Vanderberg. “ - Cassidy Vanderberg

“ I'm a hero, and I know, it's a heroes curse to go down in history, shooting her glory through the chamber of a revolver, leaving the world with the gunfire smoke of her gun, but so be it man, so fucking be it. “ - Miella Fang

“ Tragedy runs through my veins like the blood I bleed.” - Harkman Burtrow

“ You can run your hands through these cracked and yellowed pages, wondering when I lost my mind, but you won't find any answers in my chapters. “ - Mortelo Vonenwoft

“ ”You ever feel there’s jus’ this empty box where your heart’s supposed ta be? I've shoved all my monsters in this box, my addictions, my anxiety, the thoughts that don't go away. But sometimes, the box starts ta open, and I can't even push the door back, cause I'm too busy with this ghost followin' me like a yappin' chihuahua. “ - Isadore Rast

“ Everyone is always sayin' you're strong, for fightin' past that hurt, but am I? I didn't fight, I fuckin' stumbled, I fell, it wasn't just a battle, it was a god damn war I still wage. The gunfire echoes and cocaine ghosts will never leave me be, cause I made the mistake of losin' myself ta the bad side of life, and I just can't forgive myself for that kinda shit. “ - Isadore Rast

“ I'm not a recoverin' addict, I'm just a fuckin' ghost. “ - Carrigan Hopva

“ I met myself on a dead end street, she looked distraught, with chunks of hair missing, cigarette on her lip, trying to light a match in the rain, eyes troubled with memories of what would be. She told me to keep my enemies close, cause god damn, they were everywhere, but she never told me I'd be standin' in a house of mirrors. “ - Rain Morvosina

“ I tell myself, I could've done better, I could've saved the circus, but truthfully, not a single man can stop fate in its tracks, he would become another splatter on her railroad within a series of seconds and terrible events. “ - Bortosley Velltwo

“ I'm guilty ‘a first degree, of lil ol' me." - Howard Wraith

“ Oh mum if ya could see me now, sinnin' on the other side 'a paradise lookin' for reasons ta stain me teeth the color of me jacket. “ - Davy Blight 

“ I ain't the poor lil' boy who shot at 'is brother with orange capped revolvers and plastic swords, mate, I'm the real fuckin' deal. This venom 'a trouble and sin flows like blood in me veins, corruptin' the essence 'a who I fuckin' was. “ - Davy Blight

“ I'm the darkness your mother says ta stray away from, the boogeyman ya're mum tells ya snatches away naughty boys and girls in the dead 'a night, and worst of all mate, I'm Lind fuckin' Blight, bastard son of the seas. “ - Lind Blight

“ I'm just old honey whiskey sitting on the shelf gathering dust and mildew, locked in this little cabin of darkness and decay, wondering why no one cares to pop open my cork and let this darkness and mold spill to the soil of a freshly dug grave. “ - Roxane Vanderberg

“ I met her in a garden 'a roses, and there she stood as the only thorn. “ - Kayella Wisp

“ I've gunned bad men down on the streets, cackling and sinful they died, cruel and wicked they lived. “ - Hoshino Akinori

“ I once went into an old confession booth, sins sat heavy at my shoulder, salvation far off as it always seemed to be, and as that preacher listened to my darkest secrets I was sure he would damn me. But he told me salvation is for all, and that God loves whosoever follows the path of the righteous. “ - Erika Vans

“ I used ta live with one foot in the grave, wondering when the hell I'd become my last name, but then I met a wise man in the woods and found myself once again. Sometimes, we're lost, and we don't even know it. So I think destiny sends us a Messiah to lead the way ta who we are, and as Pennington took my hand in the darkness, I knew I'd found who I am past all this trouble. “ - Alonzo Graves

“ I traverse this labyrinth of my heart and soul, trying to find myself in the midst of all this trouble, but these mirrors are starting to look like enemies, and this maze is starting to become a prison cell. “ - Andre Jollows

“ Deep in my soul is the sound of war calling me home, and death whispers in my bones that she wishes to hold me close as I fade gently into the stars, but I sigh strapping my boots on in the morning, putting this old gas mask on my face and facing another venomous day. For I am a curse, wondering where my blessings went." - Max Caldiph

“ If my heart were a painting, it would be a starless night sky, the trees wilted, stripped of their leaves standing as threadbare omens of the bones etched in darkness that hold me up and the roses would be black, decaying with some dead scent of mercy burning whosoever walks into this garden of death's nose. “ - Apollos Quinn

“ Who I am ain't even me, he's just someone I've been for too long.” - Drew Dreadful

“ I died halfway to Heaven and too close ta Hell. “ - Dylan Huffers

“ I was living a life of trouble and cigarette smoke, chasing lies as if I were just a harmless little kitten, batting my hands at another yarn ball, always wondering why it ran away from me, but as my mother held me in a gentle embrace and showed me the way to paradise, I found out that it's better to be you then somebody else. “ - Scottie Bloodvallo

“ My mama once told me sometimes you gotta fall and stumble to learn who you are, because it's as trouble and peace wage war that we discover who's side we're on, and as those old foes grabbed their rifles and loaded their cannons, I came to realize I never wanted trouble to become who I am. So I picked up my guns and fired a couple rounds of peace into my head. “ - Marty Thievekit

“ You wanna run with the wolves, but brother you're sparrin' with chihuahuas, ya wanna play with the big boys, but you're frolicking in a garden full of gnomes and fairies, you wanna go knuckle to knuckle with your demons, but brother you surround yourself in angels. Do you really expect to kill a man while you're swingin' plastic blades and firin' bullets from a cap gun? “ - Walton Burke

"The truth will always sound like a lie to he who doesn't want to admit he's wrong. “ - Stewart Astoria

“ I'm tied up and tangled in the webs of madness, cackling at the midnight sky as these bastards try to fire bullets of sanity my way. But god damn baby, I'm bullet proof. I take what I want when I want it, so as I slam these bullets of madness into the echoed chamber of my revolver and put a few holes in my mind do you think it'll be me seepin' through the corners of this old mental ward, or will the ground pool crimson with my sanity? Guess there's no way of knowin' til I pull this trigger, sanity and purity spilling like crimson ink in my mind. “ - Ares Malstone

“ Forevermore I shall stand as a threadbare omen of the unholiest parts of mankind, drifting away from myself like the wildfire smoke of a dying confession.” - Alastair Sambridge

“ My mother once stared me dead in the eye and said I was not so holy, one day I would sputter up all the pieces of me and succumb to the Devil inside, and I must say, the old wicked witch was right. My father told me I was just a sin, drifting forevermore into the midnight sky, and as I pulled the trigger upon a battlefield I came to realize fate vows for promises made by wicked people. So by God, I vow to die, I vow to choke on these holy pieces of me and sputter up my dying breath. “ - Alastair Sambridge

“ Who I am is such a far cry from who I was, if you looked at a photograph of me at ten years old you wouldn't recognize the eyes that smile, for as you look into the cracked lenses and into my eyes, it is not me you find. But rather, it is the insanity that swam in Calzell's eyes when I met him." - Ackilzo Thyme

“ My mother once told me that rage whispers into the ears of the broken that they deserve nothing more then this unsteady heart beat of broken bottles and cracked knuckles, but it's the ever smiling lip of peace that brings the sorrowed man back to himself. So I oughta wonder why peace keeps on scowlin' at me. “ - Varvaina Escobar

“ It seems it is the nature of humanity to point blame at those who are howling with regret, love beating empty in an open chest. “ - Sarkelus Johnson

“ Sometimes, life just fades before your eyes and ya don't have enough time to catch it, so you slowly drift away from it yearning for the gentle touch of death. But you know what? We all need a hero every once and awhile, and as Barbara lays her head against my chest, dancing her fingers across my shoulders and cheek, I think I damn well found my hero. “ -Rob Percstand

“ I don't wanna die with dreams, I wanna die with memories, man. “ - Revie Scollinew

"In the outback of Montana my tale began in crimson stained history. I look to my aunts and uncles and see murder deep inside of their hearts, but they should've thought twice before taking my heart in their rough hands, for there is something dark that's brewing inside of me, and if I were them, I would start looking underneath the bed for monsters." - Enoch Avoxin

"There's a certain truth, to madness." - Zachariah Rinderez

"Hold honor close to your heart and you'll end its beat." - McKormick McReavey

"You know, everybody says, this won't happen to me, I'm just your average everyday person, collecting my paycheck, paying my bills, living my day to day life just like everybody else. But what we seem to forget is that we're all normal people, we're all just a little bit average enough to stand out. And when these tragic things do happen to us, we stand in a stunned silence our whole world falling apart, and all we can utter is, "This can't be happening to me." - Ray Burzfoll

"If I could strip the emotion from my mind I fear I would do so in a heart beat." - Wyatt Demouchett

"Love comes and goes but power drifts on by and stays." - Dastallio Sanchez

"Darkness has intertwined itself within my heart sputtering the light from out my throat." - Cornelius Shmackelstein

“I am not myself, so what the fuck am I?" - Coraiza Scotchfuel

"Living in reality is the most cruel form of torture for a mad man." - Draven Scotchfuel

"It is as if she makes my black and white heart burst with some form of color it's never seen." - Armello Vanrick

"Perhaps it was always a mirror hiding inside of my closet." - Julie Forkroad

"The world went dark before it fell, we were just playing a waiting game." - Brooke Bergmeir

"I've got more fighting days left than you have years." - Maximo Guanch

"If everything exists, nothing does, really." - Arthur Wellburn

#writing #characters #dialogue #characterdevelopment #oneliners #books #writer #characterwriting

[shemakesmusic-uk]

All We Are have shared a brand new single ‘Eden’. Produced by Al Doyle and Joe Goddard from Hot Chip, ‘Eden’ is the first new material since the trio released their third album Providence last year. The band say of the new track: “'Eden' is groovy, slinky, sly tune, for those temptress moments. What is to live, if not to eat and drink and breathe and to love.” Speaking about the self-directed video, then add: “We’ve always wanted to direct and shoot a music video ourselves, and this felt like the perfect tune. The eerie synths, cascading guitar lines and the lyrical rejection of a manicured ideal for the Garden Of Eden took us to a fun and spooky place – a sort of underworld Halloween party!” [via DORK]

The Hamilton, Ontario-based trio, Ellevator are sharing their new single, 'Charlie IO' which is out via Arts & Crafts and arrives with another fine visual accompaniment, once again directed by Cam Veitch. Produced by Chris Walla (formerly of Death Cab For Cutie), who has previously helmed production duties for the likes of Foxing and Tegan & Sara, the track arrives as another signpost towards the band's debut album which is set for release in early 2022. The new single provides another smart insight into the sonic direction of the band's forthcoming body of work, drawing once more on the melodramatic post-rock and indie-rock of late-aughts indie music, the likes of Spoon, Arcade Fire and Metric, as well as the stadium-ready sounds of U2, Kate Bush and Peter Gabriel. Knotting together subtle piano, washy guitars and swirling percussion to produce a vast expansive soundscape, 'Charlie IO' is about confronting a friend who’s seeking self-discovery through psychedelics and other pseudo-religious escapisms without doing the hard and un-sexy work of real self-reflection and owning your shit. Speaking about the new single, singer Nabi Sue Bersche says: "I’ve tried to find myself in all sorts of funny ways, and in a world full of brands exploiting our unending well of vanity it’s easy to make that “journey” to the center of your life. I imagine that when you finally find yourself or find god or reach nirvana or tap into universal knowledge, you’ll realize you’ve been there all along and you still have to do the dishes." Walla adds: "Everyone spins out. All of our friends and the rest of us too, maybe just yesterday or even right now.  Eye contact is the most powerful tool in our everyday social toolbox to help someone in a spinout reconnect with reality, with the space we share together, and with whatever part of themselves is dizzy or lost or out of focus. Nabi is fundamentally empathetic and also quite serious, and though it's impossible to make eye contact in a purely auditory medium, the goal with the choruses in 'Charlie IO' was to give the listener that impression from the singer: you've been stopped, taken firmly but gently by the shoulders, and looked dead in the eye by someone who cares about you a great deal, in a way that you may have forgotten about when you were halfway to infinity." Director, Cam Veitch expands on the video to say: "With 'Charlie IO' we wanted to pay homage to a video that stuck with a generation, 1000 Miles by Vanessa Carlton. We wanted to conjure up that uncanny feeling of Deja Vu mixed inside a hypnotic performance, while still having pieces that feel personal to this track. It was a ton of fun to make and I hope we did Vanessa proud.”

Lambeth’s serene songstress Joy Crookes continues to manifest the elegant aura she emits through her soundscape within yet another visual masterpiece. 'Trouble' sees Joy grace our feed once again with another bountiful offering sourced from the talent’s debut album Skin. Joy truly lives up to the claims of her being one of the classiest talents about right now too, not only within the luxe harmonies the songstress strings together but also the mesmerising visual pieces she ties to the stories she weaves within those abundant soundscapes. Turning to visionary Nono Ayuso to direct the 'Trouble' visuals, Joy and Nono takes us back to the middle ages; showcasing the songstress looking as elegant as ever, draped in glistening armour as she partakes in a sword-drawn duel within a grandeur manor house. [via GRM Daily]

Toronto’s Cherry Blaster pushes intimate bedroom pop musings into curious and full sonic dreamscapes. Brainchild of frontwoman Iulia Ciobanu, the trio explores longing and uncertainty while striking the perfect balance of closeness and detachment. Playful, with aggressive edges and an eccentric approach to rhythm, Cherry Blaster reveals 'New Age' about self-acceptance accompanied by an all-pink, soft-sci-fi music video. Whether the greater source of this fear was external or internal, as Iulia approached her thirties, she couldn't shake the feeling that her "time was up" as an aspiring musician. One morning in her late 20s she woke up from a dream in which her silver hairs were turning pink and was struck by the image. She turned it into a song that extended the dream into an alternate reality where she could transform herself into a forever young cyborg.

Natalie Shay has just unveiled the visuals to her latest single 'New Wave'. The video follows the singer on her journey to catch that 'New Wave' feeling, the one you only get when you feel simply swept off your feet by somebody you meet. Throughout the video, Shay meets a host of new and exciting people who seem perfect... at first glance anyway. As she'll discover, all come equipped with their own unique flaws. Shay will keep on trying to surf that wave, and we'll be invited along with her on the journey. She'll discover that the only wave that was ever worth catching was the one she's been riding since the day she was born.

Lights has returned with new single ‘Prodigal Daughter’. The first track from her forthcoming new album – expected for arrival in 2022 – it’s also accompanied by a video, which you can check out above. “‘Prodigal Daughter’ is about stripping away all the deep-seated, oppressive expectations society and religion can place on you, in order to find out what you really want out of your life,” Lights explains. “Musically, the song is dynamic and wild; beautifully gentle at times and aggressive at others, representing the journey. Ultimately this is a banger about finding yourself.” [via Dork]

Dream Nails have shared their new single, ‘They/Them’. The track – produced and mixed by former Spring King-er Tarek Musa – follows on from its fellow double-A-side ‘Take Up Space’, and arrives ahead of the band’s headline show at London’s Oslo on October 30. “This song is a rage-fuelled love letter to non-binary people everywhere,” singer Leah Kirby explains. “As a non-binary person, or enby, living in the UK, I am constantly mis-gendered and often feel invisible. This is a banger for the fat enbys, the black enbys, the neurodiverse enbys, the disabled enbys. The enbys that don’t fit mainstream narrative of what genderqueer is. We refuse to be palatable and to fit into binary terms of ‘male’ and ‘female’. After hearing this song, I dare you to call me girl again!” Fans can also purchase art prints of the single cover to raise money for The Outhouse, an LGBTQ+ charity in Leah’s hometown of Colchester. Visit bandcamp for more info. Guitarist and backing vocalist Anya Pearson explains of the cause: “They don’t currently have legal recognition in the UK. This means having to choose between ‘male’ or ‘female’ on official documents like passports, driving licences, marriage certificates, and even – for those who medically transition – on their Gender Recognition Certificates. We’re stoked to be using this release to raise money for a grassroots LGBT charity in Leah’s hometown of Colchester. We’ve collaborated with one of our favourite queer artists Hannah Dickins, whose signature typographic style is utterly unmistakable, to create limited edition posters of the single artwork. All proceeds go to The Outhouse.” [via Dork]

Nika Timos has unveiled the hautingly beautiful video for her new single 'Family'. The 'Family' video was filmed in St. Petersburg, Russia, in her hometown where she grew up. "I planned to shoot a video for my song 'Crash' in 2020, but the pandemic cut off the oxygen and this did not happen, but as soon as I had the opportunity, it was in July 2021, I flew to St. Petersburg for filming," explains Nika. "'Crash' had already been released a long time ago and I had a great song ready to go, waiting for the right moment. Because of the lack of time everything went super fast. As a result, after excellent preparation, filming took place in one day, in a park near my university, where I once studied. This was my first experience where I dared to rely on someone else. Usually I participate in the filming and script writing process 100 percent, but due to lack of time and desire for novelty, I allowed myself to relax a little. The problem is that you do everything yourself, that you think more about how and what is happening in the frame and then there is absolutely no time to think about how you look in the frames yourself, but being the performer and the main figure in your music video, this should be the most important. In the end, I had a lot of fun, I had a great time," she continues. "I decided to try something new and deviate from my POP singer standard. Delicate, smoky tones are something that I would never hesitate to try on myself, but in the end I think it turned out great. And now I feel stronger and ready to continue experimenting. It was a great experience. The video is based on a story, or I would say a family manifesto, but of course it would be too easy to show a family dinner, besides, the word 'Family' means completely different things to different people. The slightly hidden or subtlety of this clip gives free rein to the viewer for their imagination. Since I love Halloween so much, we have brought in a couple of moments from the well-known Halloween movies. I will not say which ones specifically, because I think this is too obvious. I really hope that people will like my video, because I made it for people to enjoy."

Hotly tipped West London based artist Hope Tala continues to grow the rising buzz around her name with the premiere of stunning new single, 'Tiptoeing'. The track is an  intricately crafted bossa nova inspired R&B cut produced in collaboration with Greg Kurstin (who produced Adele’s return track, 'Easy On You'). Showcasing Hope's beautiful vocals and songwriting atop a sprawling arrangement, 'Tiptoeing' cements Hope Tala as one of 2021’s brightest lights. Speaking on the track, Hope Tala states: “'Tiptoeing' is about the dance we do when we’re at the threshold of romance. It’s about treading carefully when you’re not quite sure what the other person is feeling, but desperately wanting to take a risk because you’re young and life is short."

Turning sadness into anger is cathartic for rising star Sody who’s latest single 'Bitch (i said it),' out earlier this month is very much as relatable to all as it is a stunning piece of pop brilliance. Now fans can watch the angsty official video. NB. She’s not very happy with who the people who have screwed her over! Speaking about the song, Sody explains “After years of releasing music about my sadness, 'Bitch (i said it)'  takes me into this new, angrier phase. I do see the good in people a lot but there are only so many times you can put up with someone treating you badly. This song has given me new confidence and has enabled me to channel my emotions into a sort of cheeky rage rather than crying into my pillow energy. It’s the realisation that you’re actually better off without them and now you can scream it from the rooftops!”

WILLOW and Avril Lavigne have shared the full video for their collaboration 'G R O W'. The song appears on WILLOW's recent album, the rightly celebrated lately i feel everything. Album highlight 'G R O W' allowed WILLOW to live out her 90s pop-punk fantasies, a collaboration with Avril Lavigne that also features Travis Barker. Dana Trippe directs the killer video for the song, which features these two dynamic female artists rampaging around skyscrapers. [via Clash]

In celebration of La Luz’s self-titled release via Hardly Art, the group has shared a new official video for their song, 'I Won’t Hesitate.' Directed by Nathan Castiel, this undercover spy video is sure to keep you on the edge of your seat.

Olivia Rodrigo has dropped a new video for ‘traitor’. Taken from her Really Very Big debut album SOUR, the clip features our Liv singing to camera alongside a whole bunch of lo-fi footage ‘and that’. She seems quite cross. You would be, wouldn’t you? Don’t mess with Olivia Rodrigo. She’ll kill you with a thousand sad-bangers. We’d never let you down, Olivia. We’d never change our plans at the last minute and leave you in the lurch. [via Dork]

Swedish recording artist Tove Styrke has released her brand new single 'Start Walking' via Sony Music/RCA. The infectious track follows the summer release of 'Mood Swings,' Tove’s first musical offering in three years, and recent feature on Cheat Codes’ 'All Things $ Can Do' with Travis Barker. 'Start Walking' was written together with hit writers and producers Caroline Ailin, Sly, Lostboy and Pablo Bowman. Tove describes 'Start Walking' as “a song I made together with some amazing writers and producers and I’m obsessed with it. It’s an upbeat song with sad lyrics, which is my favorite combination. It’s about a person who knows a relationship is over, and how it sucks to actually be the one to leave but you know there is no other way.” In tandem with the new song, Tove has also released the official video for 'Start Walking.' The visual follows “Tove Styrkez,” a fictional dansband, as they tour around 1970’s Sweden. Directed by Oskar Gullstrand. Commenting on the video, Tove adds, “I love the insane music video we made for the single. It’s about a Swedish ‘dansband’ with supernatural powers. ‘Dansband’ is a signature style of Swedish pop music that has drawn huge audiences dancing cheek to cheek around the country for decades. My dad played in one of these bands – they were called Max Fenders – in the 1970’s which is where the idea for the video initially comes from. Think ‘Stranger Things’, but the 70’s, showcasing cheesy pop band culture, set on the roads of deep Sweden. I can’t believe such video did not already exist, so I simply had to make it… Get ready for thunder, lightning, lasers and ‘Tove Styrkez’!” The video concept revolves around the Swedish cultural phenomenon of “dansband” (Dance Band) - a certain style of Swedish pop music inspired by swing, country, jazz and rock. Just like in the video, the dansbands used to tour Sweden by bus, performing their music several times a week with an audience dancing cheek-to-cheek. The music video is both a way for Tove to put this very Swedish phenomenon on an international map and at the same time pay tribute to her heritage (as mentioned her dad used to play in one in the 70’s).

Dirty pop artist Fiona Grey uses her new music video to shine a light on how the contemporary beauty myth is a toxic illusion that is being sold to us. The colorful and thought-provoking official video for her acclaimed new single, 'Sick Of It,' is streaming now. “‘Sick Of It’ was inspired by the modern fixation with unrealistic beauty standards and our obsession with looking like an idealized version of perfection.” says Grey. “Selfies are not inherently bad, but there is so much pressure on us to present ourselves as flawless on the surface that we can lose sight of who we really are. I realized that I fall victim to it as much as anyone else, and I wanted to provoke a dialogue about it by creating this video. Hopefully by showing myself in a vulnerable light I can inspire others to accept the beauty in themselves.”

Amsterdam-based indie-pop artist Mazey Haze releases new single 'Don't Care', along with a new video directed by Pasqual Amade. 'Don't Care' is the final single to be lifted from Mazey Haze's new EP Always Dancing which is out now. Dreamy guitar-driven indie-pop reminiscent of contemporaries such as Jay Som, Snail Mail, Camera Obscura and Alvvays, Mazey Haze is the moniker of 21 year old Amsterdam-based artist Nadine Appeldoorn. Backed by a spritely indie-rock instrumental, 'Don't Care' is a richly textured, evocative, and lyrically bruising track; with Mazey searching for light amidst the darkness. Speaking on the release of the new single, Mazey Haze said: "'Don’t Care' is about me trying to manifest something that I wasn’t feeling when I started writing. Written in the same period as my other songs so far, it’s still me being in darkness, trying to digest everything I felt and had to deal with. This song describes very specific moments and feelings of how I couldn’t sleep, felt empty and how I looked back on memories that would never be reality again. A song about heartbreak and trying to get myself out of an endless downward spiral of hopelessness, emptiness and loneliness. But maybe most of all, this song is basically me trying to help myself through writing this song." The track's accompanying video was shot in the French countryside with director Pasqual Amade, camera operator Roland Denderfield and the guitarist of Mazey's band Denzel Sprenkeling – acting as her opponent, symbolising the thoughts, feelings and person she wanted rid of.

Gabrielle Macafee’s latest single 'Dance Myself to Death' is out now and it is exactly what you need to lose yourself on the dance floor. A night we all need. The moody powerhouse vocalist combines her love for the strange darkness in the movie Midsommer and her desire to make us feel good in this high energy dance ballad. Synthy vocals paired with deep beats come together to bring us out of ourselves and into our feelings. "The inspiration behind 'Dance Myself to Death!' struck at a strange moment, I was at a grocery store with my boyfriend and creative partner Kyle after watching Midsommar. Somewhere between the produce and dairy isle I asked “what if we wrote a break-up song about Midsommar?” Underneath all the gore and folk-horror of the film is a story about a breakup, so Kyle and I built the song from that. The first version was moodier and darker, but we weren’t totally inspired so we let it sit for a while. But after becoming obsessed with Dua Lipa’s Future Nostalgia and Jessie Ware’s What’s Your Pleasure I wanted to inject a bit of disco into the track. And now here we are!" [via Ladygunn]

Kacey Musgraves’ Star-Crossed standout 'Camera Roll' was part of a huge moment earlier this month when Musgraves performed the song naked (save for a pair of boots and a guitar) on Saturday Night Live. Now we have another moment in the spotlight for 'Camera Roll,' as Musgraves just dropped a surreal new video for it. The clip starts with an approaching ambulance, and we quickly learn its heading towards Musgraves, who got in a car crash that left her body shattered into dozens of pieces. Musgraves previously said of the song, “I thought I was fine. I was on an upswing of confidence. I’m feeling good about these life changes, where I’m at; I made the right decision and we’re moving forward. And then, in a moment of, I don’t know, I guess boredom and weakness, I found myself just way back in the camera roll, just one night alone in my bedroom. Now I’m back in 2018, now I’m in 2017. And what’s crazy is that we never take pictures of the bad times. There’s no documentation of the fight that you had where, I don’t know, you just pushed it a little too far.” [via Uproxx]

Haunting indie-pop songstress Kailee Morgue is back with a vengeance and has released her new music video for track 'Butterflies', out via Thriller Records. Not only that, but fans can also look forward to a new Kailee Morgue EP coming in Spring 2022. “'Butterflies' is a big “F you” type of track. I hadn’t put music out in so long I wanted to make sure I came back with a BOLD song. It’s really the start of a new era and this character that I’ll be taking on called the “Bad Witch”. The first chapter of her story had to feel vindictive and raw so this track tackles that emotional vulnerability and rage!” says Kailee. The music video is the first of a series of stunning visual vignettes that form episodes in the Bad Witch story, leading up to the release of her new EP in spring 2022. [via Substream Magazine]

On October 19, a video with the title "The National Weather Service said that the 'Strawberry Moon' rises today" was posted on IU's official YouTube channel. The video revealed the behind-the-scenes of the music video filming of her latest single, 'Strawberry Moon.' In the new music video, IU is seen riding in a convertible car as she sings the song. This convertible car had the date 'JUN 14-2022' on its license plate, which IU shared the meaning behind it. According to the behind-the-scene video, IU shared that June 14, 2022, was the date when the next strawberry moon will rise.  The strawberry moon is a moon that rises only once a year in June and, just as its name, is a moon that is slightly redder than the usual moon. In Korean, this moon is given the name 'Strawberry Moon.' Also, it was revealed that June 14, 2022, would be IU's birthday on the lunar calendar. In the video, IU adds, "In addition, June 14 is the 'Kiss Day'," and elaborated, "I wanted to have an outdoor concert on that day and sing 'Strawberry Moon' live for the first time while looking at the strawberry moon with the audience." Many fans were excited to hear IU's plan, but the singer explained that June 14, 2022, is a Monday and said, "That day is a Monday and it's difficult to have a concert on Monday." [via allkpop]

Fans have been waiting for this for three years. After announcing at the beginning of the week that something "cool" was going to happen, the singer Angèle unveiled this Thursday at 5 p.m. her new single, entitled 'Bruxelles je t'aime'. A beautiful tribute to her city, which appears on her album which should be released in December. The singer loves Paris, but she remains very attached to her hometown where her family and childhood friends reside. “We don’t have the New York towers / We don’t have daylight six months in the year / We don’t have Beaubourg or the Seine / We are not the city of love, but hey you see / And surely that from this evening the sky will cover a storm / But after the storm with beers people will be celebrating “, sings Angèle to a catchy tune. “Brussels I love you, Brussels I love you, I missed you / Brussels I love you, Brussels I love you, You’re my favorite”, she sings in a heady chorus. To accompany this new title, Angèle has opted for a poetic clip where we see her walking around in a train that connects Paris to Brussels. “Very enthusiastic about the idea of ​​returning to her hometown, Angèle decides to kill time by transforming a trivial trip into a much more intense dreamlike adventure, thanks to her overflowing imagination”, explain the directors of the clip in their note of intent. “Bruxelles je t’aime is a regressive clip, which is a symbol of Angèle’s ever-awake child soul, while serving as a declaration of love for her hometown”.

#videos of the week #all we are #ellevator #joy crookes #cherry blaster #natalie shay #lights #dream nails #nika timos #hope tala #sody #willow #avril lavigne #la luz #olivia rodrigo #tove styrke #fiona grey #mazey haze #gabrielle macafee #kacey musgraves #kailee morgue #iu #angele

[shiroganeryo]

D.Gray-Man Tag 2!

I got tagged by my friend Violet (@14thexorcist) again to hop into the part two of this little game she made, and there are few things I love more than babbling about DGM, so let’s go!

The rules are to tag 4 people but, since I'm late to do this, I won't tag anyone this time. However, if you see it and want to do it, feel tagged by me! Here's the blank post.

⭐ What’s your favorite manga page/panel? That's quite the hard pick, every chapter and arc have something of amazing and remarkable in them. There are many moments I love hence many favorites on this matter, but thinking of what moves my heart, I can easily pick two pages without having to think twice.

From The 225th Night: Visiting A.W. - CALL 2.

This moment made me very happy; it was the first time we saw Allen smiling in a long while. I personally love the interaction he has with Johnny in this; it's full of warmth and relief. Seeing Johnny hug him so fondly like this as he smiles makes me smile. The visuals are beautiful as well, as expected from Hoshino-sensei's artwork.

From The 230th Night: Saying Goodbye to A.W: Torchlight and Tearstains

I love everything about this page and its middle panel. The parallel between current Allen and dog Allen is perfectly set as a mirror image; the two of them are looking at each other, and both their right hand and paw are on top of the grave. In my opinion, this is where Hoshino's genius shows. She's great at giving us meaningful representations with simplicity and subtlety.

⭐ What’s your favorite chapter? I can remember at least one thing I love in every chapter, so let's narrow down the options! Currently, my favorite one is The 226th Night: Searching for A.W. - Live Man + Dead Man. Being honest, I love the whole A.W arc. We get a lot of insight on Allen and witness his growth (emotionally); I also love the part Johnny, Kanda and Link are playing in here. We also get hints towards the truth about Nea.

But this chapter in specific has some of my favorite lines as soon as it starts. Quoting the official english translation: "I can return from that beautiful place, so like heaven... taking the only path there is.

The voice that calls me... It connects me to this world. It is a bond... and a summons.

That... is 'Home'!"

We begin with such a strong and meaningful message and metaphor about the bonds that keep us around, that tie us to the ones we love. The message is clear and powerful, it literally gives me chills. And then, the next thing we see is Allen realizing he's back from Nea's conscience's world and showing, for a second, his ultimate relief in being back. This moment is so rewarding to me, and extremely important to his development. We all love Allen for how human he is, and seeing how afraid he was, it becomes ten times more rewarding. His weaknesses make him palpable and strongly moves our heart; we take in the moment as if it happened to us, as if we were back to a loved one's arms after being lost and alone for so long ourselves. I also love Tiedoll's participation in this chapter! The scene on which the Maker of Eden forms the wagon underneath Allen and Johnny is amazingly drawn!

⭐ Do you have a favorite volume? Without a doubt, it's Volume 3. The Rewinding City arc is still one of my favorites, it hadn't been mentioned yet only because it can't compete with the feelings and plot lore overload we get from the latest chapters hahah. But this arc was the first that made me feel that tingly, warm feeling in my heart. I loved Miranda on the spot and I could see myself on her. It made me so happy to see her finally getting her "thanks", the realization of that moment sank in as hard for me as it did for her. So this spot goes on to the volume that introduced Miranda and her arc!

⭐ Do you like Mana or Nea more? That's hard to answer, as I'm rather lukewarm about both. I'd say I like Nea more because what we see from him is what he has always been; while Mana, on the other hand, has many facets.

We have Mana from when he was younger, Mana from when he was travelling with Allen, and the current Mana that is the Millennium Earl. I do love the Mana Allen met, that I can say for sure! But I'm still waiting to see how he was when younger, if he was any different or not, to decide how I feel about him "as a whole".

So, for the time being, I'm picking Nea. He is fun to see going about, I gotta be honest; it would be nice if he didn't need Allen to be erased to do so, though.

⭐ What’s one thing that you like and dislike about Hallow? If I can be so bold, I'll start saying that what I dislike the most about Hallow is how much slander it gets from the fandom LOL

By all means I understand it delivered a subpar quality, but I don't think it's as terrible as everyone makes it seem. The OG 2006 anime also had a lot of flaws, ranging from adaptation issues (the novels, Lenalee existing in random places, Cross being uncharacterized, Allen being dumbed up for appeal) to small animation choices that were a little poor.

I also agree that Hallow's pacing was rushed, however, it's still not fair comparing both adaptations when one of them had 103 episodes and the other had only 13. It's alright to appreciate both, acknowledge the hard work put into them and I wish people realized that more often.

With that out of the way, I'd say that's basically what I dislike about it. I do have criticism on the animation and things like this, but none of that made me enjoy Hallow less; the things it proposed to cover, like the Artificial Exorcists arc and the Seed of Destruction arc were amazingly done in my opinion. Even if the animation got a little wack in several moments. I do agree it's sad that we didn't get a Zombie arc adaptation, but starting on that note would be... weird, to say the less. So while I regret it, I understand the decision.

Now on to what I like the most about it: I'd say it's the new color palette. Some people say it's too bright, and I totally get it, as I can't bear too much brightness myself! But the new colors are more appealing to me, and as much as I love the OG 2006 anime, at times I thought the colors were too dark/blurry, it was a little hard to see.

Still on that note, I love how Allen is looking in Hallow. Crown Clown now has a glowing effect to it, and it looks awesome in dark scenes! I also love how they didn't make Allen's hair extremely white, but a more natural tone. His white eyelashes are also really pretty.

⭐ What’s your favorite piece of DGM merch? These keychains!

Just look at how cute they are! There are many pieces of merch I like, especially if we take into account the art books, but the bocchi-kun keychains make me want to get them all!

⭐ Follow up question: what’s a piece of merch that you wish existed? I'd love it if we had figures of most of the characters. We got figures for Hallow and they're awesome, but I'd love a figure of Miranda, for example. There was no Lenalee figure as well, and even if I didn't get one of her for myself, I bet it would look awesome!

As always, this got super long, but if you read until here, I wish you have an awesome day! Thank you for reading on 💞

#dgm #d.gray-man #d.gray man #long text #tag #as always read more added not to clog your dashboards! #I hope you like reading as much as I liked writing

[statticscribbles]

Branch Evolution

Summary: There’s a reason the Ghoulies phrase is ‘Evolve or Die’; also featuring my personal headcanon about Malachai’s family

”What is it Lance.” Malachai snaps at the boy who nervously stands in front of him. “I was just wondering..” “No fuck off; I’m not giving you a day off or listening to your teenage woes; or college essays or… Fine you got ten seconds; spit.” “How did the Ghoulies come to be?” “I started the gang; you idiot.” “But why; how and-”

“You keep asking questions and i’ll…” Malachai doesn’t finish; hand brushing over the knife he keeps embedded in the couch. “Course; sorry to bother you.” “Hey kid; grab a milkshake at pop’s would you.” Lance nods gripping the list and money that Malachai had tossed to him. He leaves to laughter and Malachai settles back into his chair.

“Seriously how did you form.” Penny asks fingers curling around the beer bottle she’d gotten. “You should know; you’re old enough to remember us forming.” Malachai grins at her and she laughs, shaking her head. “I may be but I never knew you before this southside; issue shall we say.” Malachai grins and sighs through his nose. “Liar.” He snarls, shoving past the incoming Ghoulies to retreat into his bedroom.

”I don’t give a fuck! That’s oppressive and outdated and SHIT!” Malachai stumbles back when the fist hit’s his jaw and he growls standing up and sneering. “You can beat me till I’m half dead but like hell I’m letting my baby sister do that snake dance for a bunch of fuckin’ pervs. Least I have morals.” “It’s a Serpent right! It’s our laws!” “Laws can be changed; she’s-” “Just cause she’s your kid sister don’t make a difference; my kids will do the trials just the same if they want to join.” “We’re by blood ain’t no need for us to play initiate. We already live and breathe as snakes; we don’t have to prove ourselves to-” Malachai doesn’t finish shivering slightly as FP throws him out of the Wyrm. “You stay the fuck out Malachite.” FP sing songs and Malachai stands up, shoving FP back into the Wyrm.

“You call me that shit name again and I’ll rip the crown from your fucking dead fingers.” “But that’s who you are kid; crown prince of the Serpents, a jewel in the gang’s crown just like your sister. You did the trials and so will she.” “She’ll do ‘em but not that fuckin’ stripper dance you pass off as-” Malachai ducks his head sighing when Tall Boy pushes himself between the two. “Come on let it go; just for now; we ain’t accepting new members anyhow; it’s off season.” “Yeah, too many jobs, not enough bodies.” FP nods to Malachai who huffs before returning back to his house and trying to avoid the shouting that hasn’t stopped since his sister ran away.

Malachai doesn’t see FP again until two months later; he pushes it off as strategic job assignments; that FP wanted to avoid Malachai annoying him for as long as possible. All it did was give Malachai more and more of a motive; pulling at the ears and heartstrings of the Serpents and the other southsider’s that were loyal to him; that were indebted to him. He crafts himself a fringe community; pulling in anyone the Serpent’s shun; be it those that failed the trials; or those that were double crossed. Even a few of the die-hard snakes assure him they’ll stand with him; of course this is purely due to them falling out of favour with FP but Malachai will take what he is given and let it grow and evolve.

“Malachai, come on kid.” FP hovers in the door frame and Malachai half looks up from the couch, his upper body jerking forwards before the rest of him twists off the couch. “I ain’t a kid FP, just under ten years younger than you, and already head of the gang, took you years, and being in your daddy’s pocket to make it this far.” He grins and his teeth gleam in the shadows. “Ki-Malachai; seriously is this really over those dumb job assignments; I can-” “You can’t do shit FP; you lost your main source; the candyman and the flowers are mine now; you just slither on out of the garden of eden that is the Southside; go on.” “Enough; when will you see this is the problem; we should be united; not divided; the southside is all our homes; we all belong here.”

“Tell that to those that didn’t make it in the gang; those that you pushed and gave the worst jobs because they talked back or got too mouthy about traditions and rules like me. You dug your own grave Snake King.” “And you’re the fallen angel to save them from my wrath?” FP snaps back and Malachai tilts his head back laughing. “When did I call you a god in this FP? When would I ever worship you?” FP grimaces.

“Malachai just dissolve this little game and come back; I don’t want this…” “Want what FP; to fight for your territory? For your members? What happened to the snakes being a family? To the law; no serpent stands alone.” FP turns away and sighs dragging his hands down his face before he grabs Malachai and shoves him to the ground. “Don’t move kid.” It’s the last thing Malachai obeys from FP.

“What happened?” Penny asks, looking at the scar on Malachai’s back that runs onto his ribs, the skull tattoo covers most of it. “Cover up.” She rolls her eyes and jabs him, pulling his shirt as he covers it back up. “Let me see it kid.” She hisses at him and he grips her bandaged wrist shoving her off of him. “Serpent’s never shed their skin right?” He snarls in her ear. “As a snake you should know when one rattles and when to stay away.” Penny’s eyes widen surprised at how his voice drops down into threatening; how his words drawl out mimicking FP Jone’s speech pattern. Penny mulls it over slightly unsurprised that Malachai would use FP as a role model; the man was running a successful gang after all.

“So that’s why you’re so into the snakes; they’re like your ideal gang.” “They ain’t.” Malachai snaps and Penny arches an eyebrow. “Well it’s obvious the Serpents are a sore spot for you; not have the stomach to make it in?” She taunts wondering how easy it’ll be to rile him up if the implication of touching a bar fight wound was enough to make him bristle. “You shut it.” “Oh no dead boy walking. I’m going to talk about my gang as long as I want. The Serpents are my family and even if they cut me out I’m still one of them. And I want back in.”

“You think you’ll get special treatment cause you’re their lawyer? Being special like that; being more than a random member don’t get you nothing when you commit a crime against them.” “Sounds like some of your members have experience with that.” Penny grins but wipes it off her face when Malachai just nods to the other ghouls clustered around. “Out.” They follow his order and each pat Penny on the shoulder, none of them look her in the eyes.

“You should know better Penny. You should be more careful. Evolve or Die. Stop talking about the half done snakes and start talking about what we all become when we die; ghouls.” “Oh so scary; spooky ghosts.” She laughs carefully maneuvering her wrist out of Malachai’s reach; he simply leans over her; fingers digging into the bandages until he sees red on them. “Listen Penny. Evolve or Die.” “I get it your dumb catch phrase.” “You think getting a little skin off your arm hurts; that after throwing yourself at my mercy they’re gonna let you back in?” “God they must’ve rejected you something fierce.”

“No; I made it in. I was just like you; except i didn’t want to ride FP’s dick straight into a high position or jail. I wanted to stop all the shit they praise and pass off in the Serpents. I wanted them to be better; to grow.” He grins at her and she stares in his eyes as hers widen in fear “Evolve or die. You catch my drift Penelope?” Malachai hums and then swipes his hair back pulling it up so it’s out of his face; miming as if it’s slicked back. “Malachite.” He breathes into her ear and she stiffens.

“Oh; you really didn’t know then? How; cute.” He pauses returning back to his chair and tapping the wall. Before Penny can move the Ghoulies swarm back in and she retreats outside; shaking and unable to look at Malachai.

“Told you then?” Lance asks, offering a shake towards her from another Pop’s run. Penny’s convinced he’s doing something besides playing gopher but she’s not really sure of anything anymore. “Malachite Topaz; one of the great-grandkids of the Serpent founders. Yeah shocked me too when I found out. How’d you figure it out? I managed to see his scar; nasty piece of work.” “Yeah can’t believe he; how did he get it?” “Same way you got yours; Jones carved him up.” Penny turns looking horrified. “Jones carve-” “Yeah something went off in FP that day; he was right mad according to everyone that saw; pinned Malachai to the ground and sliced off his serpent tattoo; poor kid got it on his side and back; one of those big snakes eating itself.” “He’s older than you.” Is all Penny manages to say trying not to picture a younger Malachai on the ground alone and bleeding. “Yeah; he treats us like family; i think it’s cause of his little sister; I’m the same age as her apparently. We go to school. I give him updates whenever he needs.”

“And when does he need?” Penny laughs a little and Lance waves the shake in his hand. Penny thinks back to how he seems to always have on in his hand; what she had thought a teenage addiction was the second cover up she’d seen that day. She thinks about Malachai for a moment longer; how desperate he is to appear tough; to appear strong and she doesn’t have to wonder for very long why anymore; she slowly unwinds the bandage on her wrist surprised when Malachai’s hand offers her clean ones.

“You should wash it first; it’ll burn like a mother fucking asshole but it’ll be better that it getting infected and you ending up half dead in the hospital.” “Course; Evolve or die right.” She tries to be casual; tries to wave off his concern but she lets him lead her back towards the house of the dead and she wonders if it’s really all that bad to come back as a ghoul.

Support My Writing?

#malachai x reader #malachai reader insert #malachai riverdale #tommy martinez #tommy martinez imagine #riverdale request #riverdale reader insert #riverdale imagine #riverdale #malachai x you #malachai x y/n #stattic

[150289city]

ILLUSION - SURREALISM

Analyse creative manipulation images.

1. Zdzislaw Beksinski

The canvas, known as "Creeping Death", evokes a lot of emotions and remains relevant all the time. The leitmotif is death, which creeps silently like a spider. This is how he appeared in the eyes of the painter - death comes unexpectedly and destroys everything on its way.

Beksiński's paintings were about loneliness and the inevitability of death. The painter also often presented a vision of Armageddon. This is also the case of "Creeping Death". The end of the world appears in dark, brown and bloody colors. And death takes its toll and disappears unnoticed from the battlefield. The city burning in the background means that death has won again. Nobody survived. Death can take many shapes, it can resemble a human, an animal or a spider. In the painting by Zdzisław Beksiński, he is a terrifying creature that leaves the ruined area on its cramped limbs. Instead of the face, you can see a bandage through which a blood stain pierces. Instead of a torso, there is a hairy abdomen, similar to that of deadly spiders, and they will always flee from impending danger. Just like death, which also has time to hide from fire.

Beksiński's painting is one of the most terrifying contemporary works of Polish painting. Suffering, anger and resignation permeate them. The artist knows that he is unable to change his fate. He only has pain and the awareness that death will come for him. "Creeping Death" can be a universal picture, presenting the world after war, apocalypse or catastrophe. They can also be the darkest thoughts of every human being that circulate through the mind looking for an outlet. Because everyone is struggling with their own demons, which may appear completely different. It is certain that they cause fear, but they are essential in the fight against the suffering that is part of human life.

2. SALVADOR DALI

There are four clocks in the picture. One hangs from a dry tree, the other, with a blue shield and golden edging, flows down from a brown plinth. There is a fly on it, which can symbolize the "flying" and passing time. The orange watch lying next to it seems to be less soft and melting than the others. Ants crawled over him. The orange clock looks like it's about to be eaten by insects. Ants are here a symbol of rotting, decay. The fourth clock is in the center of the painting. It flows down from a deformed, beige-colored form. Only after looking closely you can see something like a nose, eyelid, long eyelashes. The distorted form resembles skin pulled from the face. According to some, it is a self-portrait of Salvador himself.

"Soft clocks" is nothing but a delicate, extravagant and lonely, paranoid-critical camembert of time and space.’’ Salvador Dali

Persistence of memory is perhaps one of the artist's most recognizable works. It was established in 1931. The idea was born when Dali, eating a melting French Camembert cheese, saw clock faces in it.

Dali created works that were supposed to amaze or shock. He did not represent anything directly, but through a vision. Therefore, he is included in the group of surrealists. Obraz Persistence of memory is a dream about time deformed by memories and dreams. Gala - Dali's muse and wife - said about this painting that the viewer's memory would only be the "softness" of the watches, because anyone who saw this work at least once would never forget it. The rocks of Cape Creus are an element of the landscape that appears in many of Dali's works. They have become an example of "hard" forms. The artist, who has a well-prepared drawing and knows the perspective, creates in a surprising way. An example is theoretically correctly painted clocks, but why is one of them hung over a branch, and the other running off the counter? It was this astonishment that the artist wanted to combine various objects in any way. The elements of the painting are arranged on the canvas in such a way that we have the impression of a large space and emptiness. Thanks to vivid imagination, all details have been divided into soft and hard. Clocks are among the soft ones.

3.  RENÉ MAGRITTE

With my popular sympathy for the Belgian painter René Magritte, I have allowed myself to be introduced to you by opening the whole series "Art for Tuesday" with his "Lovers". Together with the blog returning to the expanses of the Internet, let Magritte be the patron of the reactivation of this cycle, this time with her "Son of Man".

The very title "Son of Man" (French: "Le fils de l'homme") is a bit puzzling when confronted with this picture presents itself.

After all, we see an elegant man in a suit and a bowler hat against the background of the wall separating him from the sea, above him there are clouds that announce a storm or storm. And what is very important - it is a self-portrait.

Oh yes, I would ... Before the face of forgotten people (levitating?) A green apple that makes his face invisible, revealing part of the eye and eyebrow in fact. We have to remind ourselves that the Belgian was definitely a surrealist who grew out of the impressionist school. However, he used his symbolic linguistic voice, which was shaped by such tragic experiences as the mother's suicide - hence the motive of the shroud. The motif of a veiled face, or the lack of it, is constantly present in Magritte's painting. Maybe it allows you to stay safe? For both the "covered" and those looking at him? Or maybe these masks and covers allow for proper perception of things (I refer to the author's painting "Rape")?

As for the "Son of Man", a stretched (as always), original interpretation appeared in my head.

The apple ripens with its apple tree represented by the man. He is well dressed, which can mean high social status. Or maybe an apple covering a man's face makes him anonymous? is it just a tree from which society grows? And when he dies, will someone eat the forbidden fruit that he has grown, and will continue this process? Another "Son of Man" ..?

4. Max Ernst

"Day and Night" is a work that Max Ernst painted in the years 1941-1942. It presents a gloomy rocky landscape in dark colors. The image of the night is dominant here - the dark blue sky and the outlines of boulders. On the dark background, however, there are traces of the day, resembling daytime photographs of the same space. In these pictures these places appear completely different - they are sunny and full of bright colors. They do not resemble a barren night landscape.

Ernst's work follows surrealist poetics. Its meaning becomes understandable above all in the historical context in which it was created. It is about the tragedy of World War II, which left its mark on the artist's own biography. He miraculously managed to escape from the hands of the Gestapo and emigrate from France to the United States.

The night landscape is a barren land devoid of color and optimism. One gets the impression that we are dealing with a world completely destroyed by some cataclysm. His memories are only optimistic photographs from the past, which show the old face of the landscape. These optimistic incrustations in combination with the dominant gray and sterility not only do not cheer up the whole, but make it even more repulsive. We are dealing here with a world that will never return to its former glory.

The colorful pictures bring to mind illustrations from children's books. Thus, the artist refers to the myth of childhood as a lost paradise. Children's dreams are triggered here, in which reality seems to be a magical and wonderful being. At the same time, the juxtaposition of colored fragments with a gloomy background is also associated with the biblical Eden, where innocence and beauty are destroyed by sin and evil.

You can also understand "Night and Day" as a kind of puzzle. The picture resembles a puzzle that needs to be matched in an appropriate way so that they form a whole together. In this sense, one should see in Ernst's work traces of hope for rebuilding what was destroyed during the war. It is, in a way, a proposal to organize the world once again so that it becomes a place where a person feels safe again.

5. Pablo Picasso

"Guernica" is a famous painting by Pablo Picasso, painted in 1937 in reaction to the Spanish Civil War. The work is an act of protest against violence and at the same time a great manifestation of pacifism.

The title of the painting comes from the name of a Spanish city bombed by the German Luftwaffe air force in response to resistance to General Franco's group.

"Guernica" shows deformed human and animal figures, forming a chaotic swirl. You can see the bodies in pieces, especially the heads and limbs. The severed hands tighten tightly on the objects they hold: a candle or a sword. The mouths of the characters are usually open in a silent scream, and terror is visible in their eyes. People seem to squirm in deathly groans. Human figures blend with animals.

The whole thing looks like a huge, dynamic swirl. The depressing impression is deepened by the colors of the painting, in shades of black and gray. The central part of the painting is lit by a light bulb in the upper edge of the work. It seems that the situation depicted in the picture takes place in a narrow room, intensifying the impression of being surrounded and threatened.

The painting was painted in cubist aesthetics, which in the case of such a dramatic topic emphasizes the cruelty and tragedy of war. The fragmentation of the solid is here not only an act of artistic deformation, but also emphasizes the essence of any armed conflict, which is the total destruction of the world.

The war appears on Picasso's canvas as unbridled chaos and suffering. People dehumanize, they are reduced to the level of terrified animals, driven by the survival instinct. Human remains are clearly deformed, they resemble meat. Human and animal bodies are fragmented as if after a bomb had exploded.

The symbol of destruction is the Spanish bull emerging from the gloom, which covers the unfolding events with an unshakable gaze. Broken hands clutch at useless objects, among which stand out a candle and a broken sword. The former may symbolize the desire to illuminate the escape route, but it is also a sign of mourning for those who died. A broken sword and a torn horse indicate the uselessness of conventional weapons in a modern war that brings mass death and destruction.

Picasso's painting exudes an atmosphere of fear and terror, the image of a mother lamenting over a child's corpse is particularly poignant. The claustrophobic narrowness of the room in which the characters find themselves emphasizes the non-exit character of their situation.

#preproduction #illusion

[lunavadash-creates]

A letter

@ac-prompts​ 

Dear mum,

Once again, I was not enough.

I am so lost and, I don't know what should I do anymore. I swear I'm doing my best mum, but somehow it never works as it should. Father has never been supportive, not for me at least. Evie is intelligent and strong she shares father's vision of the world, just as him she was interested in finding pieces of Eden. Everything she did was perfect, just like herself. On the other hand, I always had a different vision of the Brotherhood and our goal as assassins. I've never cared much about history nor artefacts, to be honest, I think that those pieces of unknown metal should be destroyed or hidden.

All I ever wanted was to help people, protect them from templars and their supporters, not only from the consequences of their mystery work. But father could never understand it. He had always been so focused on artefacts he couldn't accept any other different perspective as mine.

I still remember when I went with him and Evie on a mission. Our task was supposed to be easy to retrieve a book with the results of the experiments. Of course, father wanted Evie to do this, and my job was to get rid of security, which I did. (You should have seen me, mum!) But then I saw how a man is grabbing a woman with a little child. So, I left roof I was supposed to stay and went on to save them. That man was ready to kill both the woman and the child, can you imagine? Templars are such cowards that they are willing to kill innocent people!  I saved that woman and her child, and she was so grateful! Even her child thanked me. (I still remember his name was Dominic). I felt proud and was ready to go back to that roof, but then father and Evie had found me. He was angry at me for leaving, said I let personal feelings compromise the mission. He didn’t want to hear my reasons and Evie? She agreed with father. None of them cared about those people. From that day father was even colder and harsher towards me. I let him down and never made up for that. He died proud of Evie and still disappointed with me.

I thought that everything will be different in London. I created my own gang. (You should see it, mum! I called ourselves the rooks!). I was able to do that one thing I believed in the most – protect innocents. I was saving children from working in factories, kidnapping gang leaders of Blighters, retrieving supplies for people. Maybe I will appear soft now, but saving children, seeing their exhausted, but relieved and grateful faces made me so… proud. On that moment I just knew that that was what I wanted to do as an assassin. I wanted to be able to protect people, who were suffering the most. So I was doing that whenever I could. I was protecting innocents, supporting an orphanage in London, stopping the experiments. Even now most of my income is still for Emmanuel’s. That orphanage is important to me, there are still living children I saved from factories. I pay for their education and medical care. I just want them to have a happy childhood, you know?

At one point I met Pearl. Mum, I swear I have never seen a woman like that. She was so confident, expressive, and she believed in me. So I did everything to save London’s transport and… failed. She was a Templar, she used me and I destroyed everything. As much as I hate to say it – it was Evie who in the end saved the day... I managed to destroy the whole London transport and Evie was the one who helped rebuild it. I’m not sure if she knows that I’m going to buy it now, to make sure that every person will have access to it and workers payment will be enough for them to have a decent life.

Sometime later, Abberline asked for my help regarding the Bank of London. A particular gang was ready to rob it. They wanted to steal the money of people, who were already killing themselves while working to provide their families. They were also sponsoring templar’s experiments and stuff like that so killing them would be a good decision, right? So again I did everything, I could and killed them. How was I supposed to know that printing plates were stored in the same vault? How could I know that there were more people and someone would steal them? Abberline was there I was sure he would step in just in time but… but I guess it was my fault again, wasn’t it? I almost ruined the English economy and Evie, once again, had to fix my mistakes.

And then there was Maxwell Roth. And mum I swear I… I don’t know anymore. I was cautious around him but his plan was perfect! He surprised me every time we met, and I believed him when he was talking about freedom as the most exceptional value. He sounded like a true assassin and he trusted me! Me! After everything I did, I’m sure he had known about my endeavours with Pearl and that action in the Bank of England. Nevertheless, he trusted me, supported me, believed in me. When I was with him, I had felt like I was with father. Roth gave me more support in a few weeks than father gave me in his whole life! And then… Then he tried to sacrifice children. How could I let that to happen? I wanted to protect people, not sacrifice them! And soon I was forced to kill Roth. Can you believe that in his last moment he kissed me? I know it’s weird, we’re both men but… I just felt like my heart exploded at that moment. Never in my life, I had felt such pain. It was like someone was frantically stabbing me again and again but I couldn’t die from it. Even now thinking about it brings me so much pain. I’m so lost, mum. Why I always put my trust in the wrong people? Why am I like this? Roth, Pearl, even now, when I’m aware who they were I can’t stop thinking… what if? What if I could convince Maxwell not to kill those children? What if I was enough for him?

So far, I let down every person whoever decided to put at least a bit of faith in me.

I disappointed Evie.

I disappointed Father.

I disappointed Abberline.

I disappointed Henry.

I disappointed all people of London.

I’m writing this letter now when we have already killed Starric. We should be celebrating, you know? London is safe, Templar Grandmaster is dead. The only thing left to do is to kill remaining templars and rebuild the brotherhood. Piece of cake, right? But Evie and Henry just got engaged and they will leave London sooner or later. So what am I supposed to do now? I shouldn’t be an assassin, but if I resign Evie will have to stay, Henry will follow her, and they will both be unhappy. I may be assassin failure, worse twin, terrible brother, but I want at least Evie to be happy. She deserves it more than anyone for what she did for London.

But me? I can’t do anything right, how am I supposed to be a master assassin, when I shouldn’t be one at all? Father was right in everything he said.

I probably didn’t mention that after arriving in London I had won a train in a battle with a templar. But it doesn’t matter. I’m just so afraid, mum. Soon I will have to do everything by myself, be the man London needs. But I know, I’m just so damn sure that I will fail again! I don’t know how or who but when I think about the future, I feel shivers going down my spine. Like there is something really dark waiting for me. Yes. I will fail again and on that day, Evie will not be here to clean my mess.

I know that father said assassin should focus on present times, not looking back and not trying to predict the future and look at me now? I’m writing about the future to you, woman I had never even met. I wonder, what would you think about me? Would you hate me like a father? Be angry all the time at me like Evie? Or maybe you would be that one person I need the most, maybe you would be supportive and loving? Maybe if you were alive, everything would be different? Maybe I would be different. Better? I have no idea I just wish… you were here with me. I’m so sorry that you died because of me.

I love you, mum,

Jacob Frye

  Evie couldn’t stop her tears while reading Jacob’s letter. She had no idea about all of this, how could she be so blind? It’s been 40 years and right now she felt like she even didn’t know her own brother! She always thought he was reckless and irresponsible but he was… lonely and sad, he was blaming himself for all those bad things that had happened. She hadn’t got the slightest idea Jacob would blame himself for Cecily’s death!

Jacob… he needed support and help, yet Evie had never provided him with any of it.

The woman sat on the chair, hiding face in her hand for a few seconds. This time it was her who felt disappointed. Disappointed in herself. Jacob was the only family she had left. The only one who had always been there for her and with her. Even if they were fighting and arguing, Jacob have always been there. And that letter proved that. Jacob was so afraid of staying alone, but never said a word, so Evie could be happy far away from London.

She wiped tears from her cheeks before she looked at the letter again. It was hidden with the picture they took in India and a few other documents. But among it all, there was another little piece of paper with only a few words written down.

“I knew I would do it again. This time I failed Jack”

#actsquad #jacob frye #assassin's creed syndicate #evie frye #henry green #jack the ripper #ac syndicate #assassin's creed #luna writes

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Kino Dark [06]

ー The scene starts in the living room of the Sakamaki manor

Reiji: Good grief...The people of this family have absolutely zero sense of danger.

Ayato is not the only one who is gone. Eve vanished alongside him as well...

Laito: We’re well aware of that, you know~? But what good will it do if all of us start to panic as well? 

Shuu: Ayato’s with her. In which case, he has to do something about the whole situation, no? 

It’s none of my concern.

Subaru: Agreed.

ー Ruki and Kou enter the room

Kou: Pardon the intrusion~

Subaru: ...K-Kou!? Why are you here...!? 

Kou: Eh~? We ringed the front bell but nobody came to open the door, so we let ourselves in instead.

Reiji: I assumed that you lot were currently residing at Eden. 

Ruki: Exactly. However, we can not stay on the defensive now that Eve has been taken away. 

Have you figured out yet...Who could be the culprit behind their kidnapping? 

Laito: Hm, you see...

Kou: Haah...I can’t believe this. Ruki-kun, seems like it’s good we came, huh? 

Reiji: ...Then, do you perhaps have an idea of some sorts...?

Ruki: Yes. According to the information from our Familiars, they were kidnapped by a Resistance Organization consisting of one Vampire and a group of Ghouls. 

Shuu: A Vampire and...Ghouls?

Ruki: And there is one more issue.

Subaru: What do you mean?

Kou: You see, theVampire who leads this organization... 

...He’s been going around claiming that he’s Karlheinz-san’s secret lovechild? 

Reiji: Wha...!? 

Laito: Heeh...? So, in other words...

Kanato: We still have other siblings we were not aware of...?

Ruki: Yes. Although at this stage, it is all but an assumption...Does this story ring any bells though? 

Shuu: Nope. But I also wouldn’t be surprised if someone like that existed. 

Knowing the Old Man, if this guy does turn out to be his actual son, then he must have been surely part of one of his schemes. 

Laito: I mean, it does sound exactly like something that guy would do. 

I’m sure he had a specific reason for raising that child separate from us? 

Ruki: However, if this story is ture, then things could get tricky. 

Subaru: Tricky? How so...?

Ruki: Ayato has inherited Karlheinz-sama’s powers. On top of that, Eve is with them as well. 

If that guy is truly that man’s son...Then it is very much possible that he could become Adam. 

Laito: Is that so? But what’s the problem with that? Does it matter who becomes Adam? 

Adam is simply one piece in the puzzle which is necessary for that guy’s plan, no? 

In which case, I’m not interested in the role at all.

I mean, I guess it’s a little stupid how Adam will get to have Bitch-chan’s delicious blood all for himself. 

Kanato: I do not like that part either.

Kou: ...Hm. But is that really it...? 

Subaru: What? Got somethin’ worryin’ you? 

Kou: No, not really...

Ruki: ...

ー The scene shifts to the dungeon at Kino’s manor

Kino: Come on, this way.

 Yui: ( Where are we...? )

ー They approach Ayato’s cell

Yui: ...!

Ayato: ...Uu...

Yui: Ayato-kun!

( Oh no...He’s all beaten up...How...? )

( There’s some kind of mark on his arm... )

Selection

→ Step closer (<3)

Yui: ( I’ll get a closer look... )

ー Yui approaches his cell

Kino: Aah, one second.

*Thud* 

Yui: Kyah!

Kino: I wouldn’t touch those bars if I were you.

They’ve been induced with a pesky anti-magic seal. They might just shock you, you see?

Just kidding, I guess that makes no sense. You don’t have any magic to start with. 

→ Call out to Ayato-kun 

Yui: Ayato-kun! Hang in there!

Kino: I don’t think there’s a point in calling out to him? 

Those bars seal away his magic. I was as kind as to inform him as well...

But it doesn’t seem like he has learnt his lesson. Just earlier he was thrashing about like crazy again, and he’s only just calmed down at last.

Yui: ...No way...

Kino: By the way, what do you think? How does he look? I think this brand on his arm in particular is the cherry on top...

Yui: ( ...Brand!? T-Then... )

...Did you do that as well...? 

Kino: Yeah, guess so. I mean, he wouldn’t listen to me at all, you see?

Yui: Even so...!

( I can’t believe he’d go that far... )

( And he’s talking as if it’s the most normal thing in the world... )

Kino: That’s exactly why I asked for help. From you, that is...?

Yui: Ugh...

( It’s that look again... )

( I’m scared... )

Monologue

Even when looking at Ayato-kun,

who was all beaten and bruised,

Kino-kun did not even bat an eye. 

If anything,

I felt as if he was enjoying (愉し気)  the situation. 

For someone like him,

to ask for my assistance,

I could only assume,

that he would make some kind of outrageous request. 

I wonder what kind of hell (酷い目)  I’ll be put through this time? 

When thinking about it, I felt shivers run down my back. 

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #kino #lost eden #diabolik lovers translation #lekinodark6

[hualianisms]

MY DREAM IS ONLY YOU: a hualian playlist 

(for books 1, 3, 5) (books 2 & 4 here)

listen here  

track annotations under the cut:

BOOK 1

a thousand years - christina perri (hc pov)

Every breath/ Every hour has come to this/One step closer/I have died every day waiting for you [...] All along I believed, I would find you/Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years/I'll love you for a thousand more

servants and kings - radical face (xl pov)

And you were not like anyone I'd known/You spoke with impunity, had nothing to atone [...] It's hard to say just when I fell in love/There was no epiphany, no light from above/But you'd become my candle in the dark/And all through that Hell you were the shield across my heart

from eden - hozier 

Babe, there's something tragic about you / Something so magic about you / Don't you agree? / Babe, there's something lonesome about you / Something so wholesome about you / Get closer to me [...] Honey you're familiar like my mirror years ago [...] I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door

雨蝶 - e-jun lee (translation)   (hc pov)

I fly towards you/I'm not tired, no matter how far/Even if there has been pain and tears in this journey [...] I break the cocoon and become a butterfly/willing to fly side by side with you

time after time - iron & wine (hc pov)

If you're lost you can look and you will find me/Time after time/If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting/Time after time

on your own - nick lachey (hc pov)

But if the world should ever fall apart around you/And if you're lost and barely breathing/I will find you and carry you back home/I won't forsake the only love I've ever known

run to you - pentatonix 

(hc pov) I've been settling scores / I've been fighting so long / I'll run to you / I will break down the gates of heaven / A thousand angels stand waiting for me (xl pov) take my heart / And I'll lay down my weapons / Break my shackles to set me free

medicine - daughter (hc pov)

You could still be/What you want to/What you said you were/When I met you/You've got a warm heart/You've got a beautiful brain

BOOK 3

mystery of love - sufjan stevens (both)

Oh, to see without my eyes/The first time that you kissed me [...] Oh, oh woe-oh-woah is me/The first time that you touched me/Oh, will wonders ever cease?/Blessed be the mystery of love

pink in the night - mitski

(hc:) I've been blossoming alone over you / And I hear my heart breaking tonight I hear my heart breaking tonight / Do you hear it too? / It's like a summer shower / With every drop of rain singing / "I love you, I love you, I love you"     ((when HC turned his blood rain into flower petals for XL))

(xl:) I could stare at your back all day/And I know I've kissed you before, but/I didn't do it right / Can I try again, try again, try again

marry you - paul canning acoustic cover (”gege, wanna get married?”)

i was made for loving you - kina grannis cover (hc pov)

Don't let me go, we'll be alright/Touch my soul and hold it tight/I've been waiting all my life/I won't scar your young heart/Just take my hand [...] All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you

all of me - john legend (both)

Cause all of me/Loves all of you/Love your curves and all your edges/All your perfect imperfections

come into the water - mitski (hc pov)

Do you wanna be my baby?/Are you waiting to touch me?/You look so good, but I keep my hands /Til you come into the water/Maybe I'm the same as all those men/Writing songs of all they're dreaming/But would you tell me if you want me?/Cause I can't move until you show me/I didn't know I had a dream/I didn't know until I saw you

futile devices - sufjan stevens (xl pov)

And when I sleep on your couch/I feel very safe/And when you bring the blankets/I cover up my face/I do/Love you [...] And I would say I love you/But saying it out loud is hard/So I won't say it at all/And I won't stay very long/But you are life I needed all along

all this and heaven too - florence + the machine (xl pov)

And I would give all this and heaven too/I would give it all if only for a moment/That I could just understand/The meaning of the word you see/Cause I've been scrawling it forever/But it never makes sense to me at all [...] All this heaven never could describe/Such a feeling as I'm hearing,/words were never so useful/So I was screaming out a language/That I never knew existed before

worship - years & years (hc pov)

I worship, high praises/My longing drives me crazy for you/My kingdom for your graces

coming down - halsey (both)

I found god/I found him in a lover [...] I found the devil/I found him in a lover[...] I've got a lover, a love like religion/I'm such a fool for sacrifice

you are my joy - the reindeer section (xl pov)

You are my joy, you are my joy, you are my joy / If I could cradle you into my arms/I would cradle you tight in my arms always

medicine - the 1975 (xl pov)

you rid me of the blues/Ever since you came into my life/Because you're my medicine

you are gold - the national parks (xl pov/both)

You are gold/You are all i see/You are aurum scarce and meant for kings [...] And there's something I need to say/But I feel too afraid/'Cause when it's real there's a risk/A chance that I'm nervous to take/Oh my, oh my, I think that I have fallen

this is why i need you - jesse ruben (xl pov)

Cause you make the darkness less dark / You make the edges less sharp / You make the winter feel warmer [...] You are the who, love is the what and this is the why

i will - mitski (both)

I will take good care of you/Everything you feel is good/If you would only let you [...] So stay with me/Hold my hand/There's no need/To be brave/And all the quiet nights you bear/Seal them up with care/No one needs to know they're there/For I will hold them for you

heart - sleeping at last (both)

I'm short of breath/Standing next to you/I'm out of my depth/At this altitude [...] You are beautiful/Like I've never seen/Go ahead and laugh/Even if it hurts/Go ahead and pull the pin/What if we could risk/Everything we have/And just let our walls cave in

with you till the end by tommee profitt (hc pov)

I'll take this pain for you/I will pull you through/I'll be with you 'til the end/Through the fire and rain/I will be your strength [...] When your fears are not fading/And there's parts of you breaking/I'll hold the pieces all together with my hands

i will follow you into the dark - death cab for cutie (hc pov)

If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied/Illuminate the “no”s on their vacancy signs/If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks/Then I'll follow you into the dark

chouchou musubi - aimer (translation)  ((red knot of fate))

In this blue, wide world, among the millions scattered around/The two of us separately picked a thread and pulled it to ourselves 

in a week - hozier    (“to die buried together, probably feels like this”)

We'll lay here for years or for hours Your hand in my hand, so still and discreet So long, we'd become the flowers We'd feed well the land and worry the sheep [...] I'd be home with you, I'd be home with you

geyser - mitski (hc pov)

You’re my number one/You’re the one I want/And I’ve turned down/Every hand that has beckoned me to come

oh my stars - andrew belle (xl pov)

If everything you've said to me has been true/Then all my stars are leading me to you [...] Everything you see is ours / Or it could be if you would try / I wish you would I wish you might

so it goes - marianas trench (xl pov)

So I would chose to be with you/As if the choice were mine to make/But you can make decisions too/And you can have this heart to break

don’t deserve you - plumb (hc pov)

You're the reason that I'm alive/You're what I can't live without [...] I don't deserve your love/But you give it to me anyway [...] Your heart is gold and how am I the one/That you've chosen to love/I still can't believe that you're right next to me

love like you - steven universe (both)

If I could begin to be/Half of what you think of me/I could do about anything/I could even learn how to love (Love like you) [...] I always thought I might be bad/Now I'm sure that it's true/Cause I think you're so good/And I'm nothing like you

BOOK 5 

turning page - sleeping at last (hc pov)

I've waited a hundred years/But I'd wait a million more for you/Nothing prepared me for/What the privilege of being yours would do/If I had only felt the warmth within your touch/If I had only seen how you smile when you blush/Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough/Well I would have known/What I was living for all along

all i’ve ever known - hadestown (xl pov)

I was alone so long/I didn't even know that I was lonely [...] All I've ever known is how to hold my own/But now I wanna hold you, too/You take me in your arms/And suddenly there's sunlight all around me

atlas: two - sleeping at last (hc pov)

Tell me, is something wrong?/If something's wrong you can count on me/You know I'll take my heart clean apart/If it helps yours beat [...] I just want to build you up, build you up/'Til you're good as new/And maybe one day, I'll get around/To fixing myself, too

better love - glades (xl pov)

Nobody's ever pulled me close like this before/So honest that it scares me/You make it seem alright to be this vulnerable [...] It's safe to say I couldn't know a better/couldn't know better love

the light - sara bareilles (xl pov)

And if you say we'll be alright/I'm gonna trust you, babe/I'm gonna look in your eyes/And if you say we'll be alright/I'll follow you into the light

cecilia and the satellite - andrew mcmahon in the wilderness (hc pov)

For all the things my eyes have seen, the best by far is you / For all the places I have been, I'm no place without you / For all the things my hands have held, the best by far is you

光年之外 - G.E.M. (translation)  (xl pov)

For you, I’ve already gone insane to the point of/(feeling like) my pulse and heartbeat are totally unimportant without you/A pair of arms encircling my chest/are sufficient for resisting the rotation of the Earth

you’re not alone - meredith andrews (hc pov or both)

You're not alone for I am here/Let me wipe away your every fear/My love, I've never left your side/I have seen you through the darkest night/And I'm the one who's loved you all your life

past lives - BØRNS (both)

Past lives couldn't ever hold me down/Lost love is sweeter when it's finally found/I've got the strangest feelin'/This isn't our first time around [...] Through all of my lives/I'd never thought I'd wait so long for you

the best of you - andy grammar (both)

You've seen my dark side and danced with my shadow [...] you know me, know me/Wrestled with the old me/Saved me at my lowest, all you had to do was hold me/Console me, no matter how far I fall/Cause the best of me loves the best of you

anything for you - ludo (hc pov)

I'd give up anything/Anything for you/I'd give it all/All of this is true/But the best story that I could ever tell/Is the one where I am growing old with you/All I've ever wanted see, was to tell you honestly/I'd do absolutely anything for you

anyone else - pvris (xl pov or both)

'Cause I could touch a hundred thousand souls/But none of them would ever feel like home/And no matter how far and wide I roam/You're the only one I'll ever know/I don't belong to anyone else

francis forever - mitski         (the year xl spent waiting for hc to come back)

On sunny days I go out walking/I end up on a tree-lined street/I look up at the gaps of sunlight/I miss you more than anything

wish that you were here - florence + the machine (xl pov)

You're always on my mind/And I never minded being on my own/Then something broke in me and I wanted to go home/To be where you are

i will wait - mumford & sons (xl pov)

I will wait, I will wait for you

find my way back - eric arjes (hc pov)

No distance could ever tear us apart/There's nothing that I wouldn't do/I'll find my way back to you

work song - hozier    (hc pov)

When my time comes around/Lay me gently in the cold dark earth/No grave can hold my body down/I'll crawl home to him

gravity - coldplay      (reunion)

Baby it's been a long time coming/Such a long, long time [...] And then I looked up at the sun and I could see/Oh, the way that gravity pulls on you and me

POSTCANON

god in jeans - ryan beatty (hc pov)

God is real, he was sleeping in my bed last night/We were naked with the radio on/Played him my favourite song/My love is my religion

watch you sleep. - girl in red (hc pov)

I don't ever wanna leave/I'll watch you sleep/And listen to you breathe [...] I never get /Bored of looking at you/’Cause every time I see somethin' new

little death - the beths (xl pov)    ((the demon king’s birthday extra))

When you're near/My heart starts beating faster [...] My lungs they catch on every breath/My heart beats harder at the cage inside my chest/And I die, I die a little death

the idea of growing old - the features (both)

We can talk all night/We can talk all day/We can play charades when there is nothing to say/You turn me on to the the idea of growing old

what a heavenly way to die - troye sivan (both)

What a heavenly way to die/What a time to be alive/Because forever is in your eyes/But forever ain't half the time/I wanna spend with you, you/I wanna be with you, you

1000 years - kt tunstall (both)

In a thousand years/I know that our love will still be here/So close your eyes, my dear/Knowing that our love is going to last one thousand years

the end of all things - panic!at the disco (both)

Whether near or far/I am always yours/Any change in time/We are young again/Lay us down/We're in love/In these coming years/Many things will change/But the way I feel/Will remain the same

#wow this literally took me forever bc of the ridiculous amt of songs #anyway this is a wip may add more songs later #otp: my dream is only you #hualian songs #mine: tgcf

[howtodisassembleyourdeviant]

Be My Garden of Eden Ch.5

When he came to, he was staring at the roof of a dilapidated building, mildewed and stained. A system scan informed him of a replacement joint in his shoulder, and new thirium lines in place of the damaged ones. His chest plate was switched out as well, the dents and tears completely gone. Other places that had 'scarred' were sautered closed and buffed out. With his synthetic skin on, they were no longer visible. 

He's been at this address before, with a client. Where were you? How long has he been here? His injuries were repaired, so it must have been real, right? It wasn't another elaborate fantasy, was it? Was he getting so lost in his head that he could no longer tell dreams from reality? Was it so far-fetched to believe you cared about him? 

That he could be free?

No, please, no. He can't go back, not anymore. Not to that repulsive club. To the horrendous people and that vicious owner. You were his owner now. He was gonna live with you and be whatever you wanted him to be. He was going to be happy.

His view of the roof became obscured, so he blinked, feeling something run down his face. He touched it, fingers coming away wet. Looking up again, he could see no fresh watermarks above him. Water kept filling his eyes though, and he kept having to blink it away. Was this… was he crying? Can androids cry? He rubbed at his eyes as a sob erupted from him. What if his client saw? He needed to stop, he needed to-

"-Piece of work, you know that?" Your voice rang, full of annoyance. The panic that had been threatening to suppress him released its grip almost immediately.

"I just calls it as I sees it. Though, gotta say, you picked yo'self out a fine slice." A male voice rang out, laughing. A program he had automatically ran the voice through some kind of database.

Eugene "TriXx" Wilhelms

Born: 10/11/2016

Criminal record: drug possession with intent to sell, possession of illegal substance, forgery, theft, identity theft, assault, assault with a deadly weapon, driving without a license.

He never understood why a sex bot needed this kind of program. It completely undid the point of discrepancy. He had learned many people's background this way, but he could do nothing about it. They were paying clients and he was their toy. This man, however, he had met before, in a similar building, selling meth to one of his clients. He had his own android with him, a PL600. Something about the android made his synthetic skin crawl, but he had no reason for it. He had never met him before, nor did he do anything of particular interest.

The real question was, why were you here, and with such a dangerous man? Sitting up, he found you heading toward him.

"Connor! How do you feel?" You looked him over, taking his face and looking him up and down. It was then that he realized he was dressed, wearing a grey sweater and a pair of dark blue jeans. They felt nice. Not as comfortable as the over-sized clothes you had lent him, but far better than his old clothes, or running around in only those horrible briefs. You had switched out of your black tights, wearing tight-fitting jeans instead, though you still wore the same boots. He could see the trace amounts of thirium still staining them.

"I'm okay, " Con answered. Your hands wiped at his tears, smile melancholic. "Where are we?"

You looked back at the man, hesitating, before turning back to Connor, removing your hands from his face. He already missed your touch and your actions filled him with dread. Why did you look so serious?

"Connor, I haven't been truthful with you." Your voice was a little shaky, so you cleared it in an attempt to steady it. He reached out, taking hold of your hand. He might not know what this was about, but he didn't like how uneasy you seemed. "Remember when I told you about that special group who believes androids are changing?" He nodded. "Well, as you might have guessed, I'm a member. Eugene," you gestured to the man behind you, "is also a member."

"It's TriXx."

"Shut it!" You quickly snapped at him before turning back to Connor, "because of Eugene's… chosen profession, he often sees androids that are being abused or suppressed. Most of the time, they're domestic androids. People can report them missing but without any human evidence, they have no way to trace them, so it just becomes another police report and another citizen for Canada." You sat down next to him.

"However, sometimes he sends me a curveball," you glared at the man currently tossing a dirty vase back and forth, "androids that are owned by clubs, even seedy ones, are far easier to track. They're more expensive, so the clubs are more willing to put in the effort of finding them, or at least, persecuting the ones who stole them. So-"

The vase shatters, making you jump. Connor only held your hand tighter.

"So?"

"…So, I have to purchase them. Eugene makes them fake IDs and passports and we send them on their way. We have members in Canada that will take them in until they can find a job and another place to live."

Connor was quiet for a few moments. Is that why you bought him? To send him away?

"What if they don't want to leave?" He looked into your eyes, a silent plea behind them, begging you to let him stay.

"If not, there is a place in Detroit, hidden away from the humans. Only an android can find it. It's called 'Jericho'. Paul has the key. Speaking of which, where is he?" You looked around.

"Went ta drop off medicine to one of our associates," Eugene kicked at some of the shards, crushing a large one under his boot, "He'll be back soon. I was gonna go, but he's rather fond of the ol' lady. She even insists he calls her 'Abuela'. Makes 'im tea every time he sees her, knowin' full well he can't drink it." She sounds like a nice woman, Connor thinks to himself.

"Well, as much as I enjoy your company," your voice was positively dripping with sarcasm, "I'm not waiting three hours in this musky, old house watching you sell drugs. Tell Paul thank you for fixing Connor and loaning him some clothes." You stood up. Connor stared, unsure if he was supposed to follow you or stay here with Eugene and go to Jericho. When your hand reached down, he was relieved, taking it and following you out.

"Catch ya later, Color Wheel!" Eugene called out to you.

"Color Wheel?"

"He's been calling me that since middle school when I would show up to class covered in paint."

"I see." While Connor found that to be interesting, he was only half paying attention. His current objective was finding a way to stay with you. He doesn't want to go to either Canada or Jericho. He doesn't want to leave you.

You both climbed into the automated taxi, and he quickly determined it was the same one as before. The blood looked to have been cleaned, but a program he didn't know he had kicked in, showing the large stain that had since evaporated. His systems told him that was five hours ago, and he was still wondering in what way this could ever be useful to a sexbot. If anything, it would be considered disturbing to know how long a stain was left somewhere.

It was dark by the time they reached your home. Using the flashlight on your phone, you walked up to the front porch, Connor following close behind. You managed to unlock the door, going inside. He was perplexed when you headed for the kitchen, still using your phone as your only light source. You came back with matches, lighting the candles scattered around your living room. Testing his theory, he flicked on a light switch. Nothing happened.

"Can't get nothing past you, can I?" You laughed, "electricity is off. I'm taking care of it tomorrow. We'll just have to find a way to entertain ourselves in the meantime."

The way the golden lights reflected off your skin, creating an almost ethereal glow over your face, it captivated him. He wanted to touch you, feel if you are real. Realizing what you said, he snapped himself out of it. These "free" thoughts were becoming more intrusive than before.

"Why was the electricity turned off?" You shrugged your shoulders.

"Couldn't afford it. It's fine, though." You tried to brush it off, but he knew he must have been a contributing factor, if not the main reason.

"I'm sorry." Eyes at his lap, he fiddled with the edge of the sweater.

"Don't be. I would do it again if I had the option. Plus, it's not like its winter yet, so I can handle a few days in the dark. It's already being taken care of, so don't worry about it." Hearing that this was not even the first day did not go over his head. How long have you been sitting in the dark? How could you paint under these conditions? The sun shines through your studio for a while, but not nearly long enough for you to finish any paintings, especially as the days get shorter.

You lit the candles over the mantle and Connor's heart stopped.

Carl's painting was gone.

"Where-"

"Pawned it." you cut him off, looking at the unnaturally vacant space, "his paintings are far more valuable than mine."

"Why? Wasn't it important to you?" How could you pawn such an expensive gift?

"It was my only viable option. Besides, I'm sure Carl would approve." He still looked upset. "If you don't believe me, you can ask him yourself. I've been meaning to pay him a visit anyway." He nodded. He would like to meet him.

"When do you think that will be?" He asked. You contemplated that for a moment.

"Probably not until the day after tomorrow. I'll have to call and see if he'll be home. Tomorrow, we're gonna see if we can't find you some more clothes."

"Clothes?"

"Yeah, you're gonna need a disguise to get across the border." Connor tried his best not to wince when you said that. At least now, he had an idea of how long he has to convince you. He set a timer, but pushed it out of his vision. Watching it tick down so quickly was making him anxious.

Chance of Success: 50%

After a few moments, you spoke again.

"I'm sorry." Connor stared at you, perplexed.

"For what?"

"For not helping sooner. I wanted to, I really did, but-" Connor took hold of your cheeks, feeling as they heated up.

"It doesn't matter. You saved me, and I can't thank you enough." He smiled softly, watching the way the lights of the candle flickered in your eyes. A thought occurred to him, or rather, an urge. He was drifting closer to you, almost like a magnetic pull. He kept looking down at your lips. They look soft, and he wonders how they would feel. He was so close, mere inches away when you turn your head. He pulled back, withdrawing his hands. What was he thinking? Of course you don't want him to touch you. You were only tolerating it until he was shipped off. You stood up suddenly.

vvChance of Success: 39%

"I-I'm gonna make a sandwich. I'll be right back!" You were nervous, unable to control the volume of your voice. Quickly, you scurried off to the kitchen. Connor sank further into the couch, a sense of gloom lingering over him. Why was he always screwing things up?

"Do you need some blue blood?" You shouted from the kitchen. His levels were only at 82%, but frankly, he didn't feel like drinking.

"No, thank you."

"Alright, they're in here if you want one." He just wanted to sit here. He wants his mind to stop pointing out the obvious. That he was a dirty, used sex machine and there was no way you would want him. Even if he wasn't, he was incompatible. You were human. You would want to be with another human, someone to start a family with. 

These thoughts were so much worse after he broke the red walls. What did that even mean now? If he knew you were going to buy him, would he have been so eager to tear them down? They might have been oppressing, but at least he didn't know what 'this' felt like. A feeling akin to wanting to disappear, just, not existing anymore.

Connor was unusually quiet, and his LED flickering more yellow than blue, and you thought you saw some red mixed in. It had been half an hour since you came back with your food. You wished you had more in the ways of board games or card games, but all you had was a checkerboard and a jigsaw puzzle you bought on a whim years ago. You taught him how to play, and he quickly started kicking your ass at it, but it didn't so much as earn you a sincere smile. You moved to sit next to him, to which he didn't react.

"Hey, " you put your hand on his shoulder, prompting him to snap out of his thoughts and look at you, "You doing okay?"

"I'm alright, " he says, but his LED is still flickering. Your thumb started to stroke the junction between his shoulder and neck.

"If you don't want to talk about it, it's fine, but I'm here if you need me." There were so many things he wanted to ask you, so much he wanted to know, but he hesitated. If... If you didn't feel the same way towards him as he did you, he didn't want to know. If he didn't know, he could believe there is a chance he could sway you. 

There was something else eating at him. Something you might have an answer for.

"When I was at the club, while the owner was..." He didn't want to say it, to think about it. Your hand squeezed his shoulder, encouraging him to continue, "Something strange happened. There were all these... Red walls, instructing me to follow the owner's instructions. If I had, he would have destroyed me. I... I was scared, and... Angry. I started tearing at the walls, and they crumbled so easily. Next thing I knew, I could do whatever I wanted. I could defend myself. I could leave the club. I could go-" Find you, he thought, but he halted his ramblings before he could dig himself deeper. You took his silence as him finishing what he had to say, trailing your hand down and taking his hand. He hid the shiver that was left in its wake by slowly exhaling. You were smiling wide, as if it was the best news you had ever heard.

"You broke through your code." 

"What?" That's... That's not possible... Is it? 

"You broke through your code. It means you don't have to listen to anyone if you don't want to. They call it "deviation"." He only seemed more confused, "just see for yourself. I'm listed as your new owner, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, I order you to cluck like a chicken while hopping on one leg."

A part of him wanted to do it simply because it was you who asked, but it seemed so... Ridiculous. His eyes widened when he realized he wasn't even making a move to stand, let alone impersonate a chicken. An idea even came to him, something he decided to take a chance on, just to gauge your reaction.

"Woof, " he said, smiling proudly. You laughed, shoving him playfully.

"Okay, wise guy, you get the point, " you giggled, "this is great! The last android wasn't a deviant and took two weeks to help her break her code. This will save so much time!"

His smile fell. 

vvChance of Success: 12%

"What?" Your own cheerful demeanor dropped, replaced with concern.

He looked to you, eyes begging you. He was asking too much, but he can't do this. He can't.

"Why do I have to leave?" You seemed confused, not in the sense of misunderstanding, but more like it had never occurred to you.

"Do you... Do you not want to?"

He couldn't force the simple word out. He was being selfish, and he knew it. How could he ask this of you, when you risked so much for him already? You were sitting in the dark because of him! He should have kept his mouth shut.

"You know, I actually could use some help around the house. With me painting all the time, it's gone a little neglected. I could also use a model from time to time. Would you mind sticking around, just a little while longer?"

^^Chance of Success: 89%

"Yes. Yes, of course, " he spoke softly, in shock, before pulling you against him in a hug. Your sharp yelp, followed quickly with laughter soothed him. A little longer. It was a start.

#rk800 connor reader #connor fanfiction #detroit become human #rk800 #gaming #dbh au #connor dbh #@witchjules #@michaels-endtime #Don't know if y'all still wanna be tagged

[vivi-the-sky-kid]

📂 I like your headcanons.

I'm very glad you like them! Have another

Congratulations! You're the lucky winner of my headcanon about why the sky kids exist/the reason they go through this journey!

Personally, I think our sky kids are here, going through the realms and reaching orbit, so that the Sky Kingdom has a second chance

Spoiler warning, so I'm gonna put this under a read more

I'm basing this mainly on how the ancestor spirits change after you give them ascended candles and receive their wing buffs, and go from their original blue to a golden color more similar to how our sky kids are colored. Almost as if they're getting closer to a potential new life...

The thing is, ascended spirits and the freed children of light are both golden in color. Before they ascend, and when winged light has been given but you haven't died in stormlock yet, they're both blue. There is the issue that unobtained winged light looks like a golden child and is only blue after you've collected it, but I would say that's because it's only an imprint of their existence, rather than a fully developed spirit

Now, consider that there were most likely a lot more inhabitants of the realms, and then look at the tiny number of spirits we can find. It's barely a hamlet's worth of people, stretched out to fill six (formerly seven) realms. Given that the ancestor spirits have flakes of darkness around their cores, the same flakes that exist on crabs and other dark stuff, and I get the impression that these spirits are unable to move on without help. That's where we come in

Speaking of the flakes of darkness, we also see them on the spirits' body shells, and also on the children of light in stormlock

They're a sign of corruption, and in both these instances, we need to restore their lights so that they can be cleansed and given the chance to ascend to Orbit. The spirits and the children of light both have impressions left upon the world:

The spirits have their memories, which must be lived through before they can be freed and pass on, and which take the form of a light which naturally passes through the world, or must be led

The children have their imprints, which have no defining features and, with the exception of the 8 in the tunnel leading to stormlock, stand in the same pose looking skyward

I would argue that the difference is that the ancestor spirits are adults, and so their attachments to the world are stronger, as are their senses of self, in comparison to the children of light

There's also the words during the opening cutscene:

With the stars united, our light was infinite.

But darkness came, and the stars fell...

Together, the fallen stars made a new home in the clouds.

If only they had listened...

A long time has passed. Now, I call to you.

Wake up, child. Bring our lost stars home.

Now, I'm not entirely sure what "if only they had listened" is supposed to mean (though I get the feeling it's nothing good and is probably connected to Eden), but the main focus here is on the last two lines. Whoever this voice belongs to, they want us to bring the stars home. Given that the ancestor spirits are supposed to be the fallen stars, and there were presumably a lot more inhabitants of the Sky Kingdom before it was destroyed, I'd say the spirits we encounter are (at least counted among) the lost stars in question, along with the children of light in stormlock

There's also the matter of what you can see on the way to orbit. As you fly along towards what I think is one of the best views in the game (though honestly every part of Sky is visually stunning), you encounter the various spirits flying with you. Given that each realm canonically represents a stage of life (and we have the posters in the Office to prove it), why have the spirits head towards the place that represents rebirth, if not because that was the plan for them?

Especially since we also see the children of light we saved flying alongside us at this point

There's also a sort of cycle between the children of light and the ancestor spirits, and our sky kids are the ones who facilitate that cycle. We return the lights of fallen sky kids who, upon reaching Orbit, give us pieces of their light before returning to the stars

We then use these pieces of light to create special candles to give to the ancestor spirits. The spirits give us more light to strengthen ourselves for our next lives before disappearing, and the cycle continues

I dunno, I just really like the idea that we're here to help the Sky Kingdom heal and be revived. It feels very hopeful to me, like the star spirits were going through a dark tunnel and are starting to see the light at the end. A lot like what going through Eden is like, actually

Also, it'd be really cool if this was the case and TGC eventually made a sequel of sorts set after the Sky Kingdom's revival

#sky children of the light #sky #sky spoilers #ask #sabishi-koibito #aw yiss external validation #oh god I've given y'all standards #i've dug myself a hole of coming up with deep headcanons #please don't expect me to make more super deep ones #please let me make light fluffy ones too

[emersonmanandnature]

November 14, 2020

No Escape

They take anything they want with a little taste of compassion, for they forged their wealth on the shoulders of the poor, their charities, a mirage of silk cloth that feels good to touch, simple distractions,as they exploit another country for profit, they are facades of generosity, their selfishness destroying communities and destroying lives but they always get a good review from their puppets in congress and from the press they own, for these elected mouth pieces for the rich know who pays for their luxuries, their sexual appetites, their lies, their innuendos and the words put into their fork tongued mouths.

If any stand up and spout their own truths of their individuality, their future goals will be stripped from them, their innocence will suddenly feel the true grip of power and the centuries long exploitation of the masses. Their independence will soon be isolation and then abandonment for you have become a liability to the powers that rule us as just pieces on a board game easily replaced.  

We have evolved into a herd mentality waiting in their corrals, waiting for our orders to be announced, our minds numb to the pain and death they bring for they have only one true goal more and more profit for themselves. For they seek ego’s of like kind that put money before human beings.

Our god looks on with boredom for his truth is one of a lookie loo that allows the killing of innocence as a means to ones salvation.

Rebellion doesn’t change the structure of wealth. It solidifies their powerful force of manipulation to be more aggressive in challenging the up-risers and punishing them with prison time as an example to not mess with the minds of the criminally rich.

The manipulation of our lives is their number one priority, in order to maintain their power of deception through the separation of people from each other, encouraging them to fight amongst themselves through a propaganda machine that anticipates their coming threats.

How duped will one feel to finally wakeup and see the truth of their purpose, pitting us the American people against one another in a shallow system of two entities of greedy manipulation, the democrats and the republican servants to the elites.

The criminal minds that have been infiltrating government and business for decades in order to gain social and financial control over the population has finally won its dominance of the world economies and has solidified its power through an intricate communication system they call prepared deception in other words lying to all.

Do you honestly believe that our news organizations give us any reporting of world events, the wars that are still being waged, the human beings suffering in poverty and dying of starvation.  

When have you witnessed a calm informative discussion of climate change that dealt with the facts known for decades and not had to listen to angry words spewing hypocritical nonsense to make you believe that global warming is a hoax?

This saturation of false facts from the powers of convoluted logic interferes with our future lives as climate and viruses rapidly change our life styles and work confusion into an epidemic of fear, anger, distrust and death of our parents, brothers, sisters, friends, and our children. And how does the highest office in the land respond to the pandemic of course with lies and mis-direction as they claim everything is back to normal get out there and work and party like it was 1999.

For their lies have become our truth and to deny their manipulation would be a loss of friends in your click of blaming others for your losses, other human beings struggling to survive just like you but have a different skin color. When did white mean anything but exploitation all through our building of an america dream for the wealthy through the slave trade?

Look around all you see and hear is the anger pointed at the wrong groups. The talking heads spewing nothing but an old narrative used to exploit Native Tribes and the exploitation of Black Americans, Hispanics, Latinos, Mexican people all exploited for profit and they make these people out to be the reason for our economic collapse of the working class. When actually their migration is from abuse, poverty and violence.

When will America wakeup and see that our jobs were sent over seas not because of the influx of other human beings but because the corporations realized that they could make a bigger profit off the backs of workers in other countries leaving our workforce tattered and angry?  Don’t blame other human beings for the turmoil in America look to the profiteers of exploitation of human beings for their own amoral greed!

And look no further than our elected leaders that cow down to the power of greed over the people they are elected to protect.

We know one thing for certain that the multinational corporation control the information pipeline. The less the people know or realize the better their ability is to squeeze profits from the people working for pennies on the dollar.

It puts all of our citizens of this united state of false freedoms on a narrow, dangerous path toward a universal conformity as we lose our ability to think for ourselves, we seek to be part of something and without thinking of our individuality, we join quickly groups that live in a fear based existence. “They are coming to take our prosperity, our jobs, our homes, our children from us,” why listen to this garbage and just trust your intuitive insights, then we would realize that the wealthy have been stealing from us since the beginning of man walking upright and not the citizens of this planet who are just trying to live another day and feed their families.

And these mealy mouths of power crying about our constitution and the freedoms it gives us have broken every one of its core beliefs, for they show no mercy for their only goal is more money, more land, more deaths, more jails, more, more and more for they believe they are the chosen ones made to rule the little people of this world and change this world into a barren wasteland from their own selfish profits.

Can you hear the evangelicals praising god to take all of the believers right now and let them rise to greet our lord in paradise. Guess what, this was our paradise, mother earth!

These powers of avarice that have dictated to you your entire life by destroying your youthful dreams you had for your future!

We are constantly being manipulated to buy physical objects and never to explore your mind and your intuitive force of perceiving your own uniqueness.

For you can manipulate reality if you choose to express your inner truth not in violent acts but in becoming a conduit to bring people together and show them their own creative purpose.

Peoples of all cultures need to unite and open their minds to a new reality that isn’t based on moneyed interest but on human interests and its ability to shed the chains of the powerful rich that have been given through technology a master plan to control human beings through constant ads and constant bombardment of stories that have no focus but a blame game, it was them not us, setting up barriers between cultures when all it would take to make this world a better place to live for you and your children is empathy toward all peoples plight and not just your own.

As the 1% gain more wealth and power over our world governments, passing laws that benefit them and not the hard working people of the planet we need to break free from the apocalypse of crime destroying this eden for greedy profits.

The media is a pro at playing the blame game on other cultures, other people of color, other people of different religious beliefs, migrations of people that have lost their homelands, lost their ability to find water and what is the cause of all this turmoil and violence on this planet?

Of course it is the elites, the 1% that can’t go back in time and reverse their destruction of this planet and  the people’s lives fighting to survive. And why should they feel the guilt of their destructive natures?

For they are the power god made and we are to respect and do as they say until our god returns in violent anger.

And what makes it worse is their attitude of deceit and mis-direction, blaming a young girl as the true culprit in this battle over pollution and the wealth from that pollution. For greed instills in the rich an addiction for more and more profits and a feeling of entitlement for all the industries they have created to wow the human race but they forgot that their creation is also the reason why we are having a world melt down from violence, pollution, power hungry criminals and climate change becoming a means of the wealthy to use their propaganda machine to manipulate people into thinking they need more protection not less and then we enter into Orwell's 1984!

It is images and words of hate that undermine your freedom of choice by instilling in you fear of change!

We can’t escape the physical space we inhabit and through this reality of objects the powers that be use imagery and products to shift the course of thoughts onto not what is wrong in this world but how can I make my life better through purchasing objects that ultimately are meaningless for my salvation.

We spend more time shopping than we do praying for our heavenly journey. What a system of beliefs that have put us in a quagmire of deceit and violence toward other religions.

Lets get real, if you say you believe in god and his preaching then you must not lie to yourself that you are open to all people and to all lifestyles. Your hate is visible in your angry face screaming at innocent people just being themselves, trying to live the best  life they can.

God is god, he isn’t just your god he is everyones god but then why do we believe we have to interfere with another’s cultural beliefs? It is very simple, the creators of our holy books had no other purpose than to control the people’s emotions, to be disgusted with another’s so called false religion and because they were not of our stature or should we say power, those people needed a violent lesson in god’s punishment and the killings of people of different races for their own religious beliefs began heightening hate toward other cultures for they must be evil in their nature and our holier than thou country wanted to exterminate them. But this wasn’t just about the bible, the bible was the excuse to terrorize other countries and rape them of their property but the ultimate reason was to use these human beings for profit, worker ants.

Listen to us, the powerful external voices demanding respect and conformity to our way of life, the continuous destruction of human beings and mother earth. We the rich demand you peons follow each other and don’t look to the side but straight ahead for we order you to do our dirty work for us, for we are the powers that benefit from your tax dollars and the taking of your land for our own crop production and the destruction of your land for drilling. And of course our bombing of your land and the killing of innocent human beings is the price people pay to our wealthy demands.

Follow each other my herded cattle and do what you have been told to do by the powers that be. Isn’t the bible full of things we must do in order to be saved and just the same logic happens in our everyday life but it is not taught by our supposedly absentee father having fun in his heavenly paradise ignoring the suffering of his flock of beings that react like a gaggle of geese heading to where ever they are told to go.

We have rules to follow and we must obey these laws for if we don’t we will be put in prison and we will suffer gods wrath or a prison guards wrath that doesn’t like your attitude and decides to make your life a living hell.

Maybe that was the idea behind the holy book that didn’t seem to be very logical in their presentation of there all powerful god for we never see or hear him and yet we are supposed to believe he is a silent witness to the destruction of this planet and the killing of innocent men, women and children, because he doesn’t want us to know him for his hateful act of throwing adam and eve out of paradise, our mother earth, and that is his truth for god is just words on a piece of paper, and we exaggerate his love for us because we have lost our love for each other. We live in a detached boredom because we live under the meanness of madmen exploiting people for profit. We de-humanize other cultures because we are the great american dream of power and corruption.

So that is why we never see or hear or feel god’s presence, because his love for us was made-up in order to exploit the populace through the holy hands of the wealthy criminals pretending to be our true saviors.

The elites have their lackey’s, their bribed greedy politicians looking to act powerful in the eyes of their constituents but in reality they are just low end criminals without any moral compass or truth to tell, these men and women of corruption do the dirty work of the rich for they see themselves above the people, the working class and they respect only the lawyers that keep them out of painful repercussions and the priests will absolve their greedy sins for a price, absolve them of their murderous actions with a few hail mary’s and a couple of our fathers, for the rich have a short attention span when it comes to praying for forgiveness when it should be god praying to them for their forgiveness.

A frightening intensity of reality, a feeling of an existential collapse of mind, we need a stronger faith toward our salvation, for our savior will keep us safe, our lord, jesus cavorts through his universe meeting and greeting new civilizations preaching his one religion for he is the truth and the power and the glory, can I get a check cashed on all the money stolen from the people all these centuries of worshipping con games by the religious fanatics claiming they were here on earth to save mankind from exploitation and if they didn’t cough up money so these priests could live in wealth and demand the death of anyone questioning their ties with a make believe god for there are heathens below even the devil in their lies.

#wealth #mother earth #exploit #follow #media #no escape #cjcorwinoriginal

[stattic-writes]

Branch Evolution

https://statticscribbles.tumblr.com/post/639099629845233664/masterlist

Support My Writing?

#malachai imagine #Malachai #tommy martinez #tommy martinez imagine #riverdale #ghoulies #riverdale ghoulies #riverdale fandom #riverdale fanfiction #riverdale cw #riverdale request #riverdale imagine #written #this got away from me #penny #penny peabody

[troybeecham]

Fr. Troy Beecham

Sermon, Proper 13 A, 2020

Matthew 14:13-21

Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a deserted place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns. When he went ashore, he saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them and cured their sick. When it was evening, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a deserted place, and the hour is now late; send the crowds away so that they may go into the villages and buy food for themselves.” Jesus said to them, “They need not go away; you give them something to eat.” They replied, “We have nothing here but five loaves and two fish.” And he said, “Bring them here to me.” Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven, and blessed and broke the loaves, and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. And all ate and were filled; and they took up what was left over of the broken pieces, twelve baskets full. And those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children.

More often than not I have heard this Gospel narrative of Jesus feeding the multitude preached as some version of "Which is actually the greater miracle in this Gospel narrative: for Jesus to miraculously transform those few loaves into an abundance of loaves, or for Jesus to change the hearts of the people there to teach them how to share?" Growing up in church, I heard this, and all of the miracle narratives of Jesus, preached with full confidence in the miraculous provision of God to meet the needs of people in need, miraculous as in supernatural, creation from nothing. The longer I am in the Church, the more I am hearing these narratives being preached with an almost apologetic tone. I mean, after all, who really believes in the supernatural world presented by the writers of the New Testament? Aren’t we much more advanced than they were, having come all these centuries out of the world of superstition?

Well, no, actually, we haven’t. We may like to think of ourselves as having evolved beyond “all that supernatural nonsense”, but at best we have simply traded one world view that requires faith and belief for another world view that requires just as much faith and belief. Before you assert that they were hopelessly primitive, remember they built the pyramids, mapped the heavens and the movement of the planets, discovered algebra and trigonometry, and developed deeply sophisticated philosophy. We humans are curious beings, not in the sense that we arouse curiosity in those who might be viewing us, but in the sense that we look out at the universe with curiosity: we ponder and dream, and we have an insatiable desire to know what are the causes of all the wonder and horror that we see. From the Enlightenment to the present day, Western culture has been on a crusade to wipe out any belief in things that cannot be rationally explained or reduced to the “laws of nature”. We have made ourselves the measure of all things! If we cannot achieve it, then it must not be possible!

We have been crowding out belief in the miraculous, the supernatural for centuries. The problem is that the harder we push these out of our world view, the greater a vacuum we create in our attempt to understand or find meaning in the events of our lives or the changes in the universe around us, and that vacuum naturally draws all sorts of things in to fill it. And the things that fill that vacuum require just as much faith and belief as that which it has supplanted. Rather than go on for another thousand words about the history and nature of the theory of knowledge, that is, how do we know what we know…what are the parameters, modes, and conditions for knowing…I will simply say clearly that I fully believe the supernatural nature of the miracles of Jesus, and in the miraculous nature of his conception and birth, and in his full divinity along with his full humanity. I do not labor with the burden of needing to demythologize the life of Jesus, or to succumb to the habitual practice of reading the narratives of his life through any philosophical lens that renders his miracles into narratives about political justice for the poor or into miracles of sharing, overcoming ethnic, cultural, religious prejudices, all of which reduce the life of the kingdom of God into something produced solely by human action.

Certainly, when the kingdom of God is made manifest amongst us, we do see the miraculous breaking down of all of our prejudices: ethnic, cultural, economic, religious, et al. When the kingdom of God is being made manifest amongst us, of course we begin to see true justice begin to blossom. But these are the free gift of God to a people being transformed by the Holy Spirit into the image of his Son, Jesus. Far from any belief in the ultimate, eventual, and inevitable evolution of humankind into fulfilling the greatest dreams of science fiction utopian splendor, we humans have continuously shown ourselves to be unable to redeem ourselves.

It is beyond human ability to engineer our way back to the Garden of Eden. Paradise was lost to us forever because our first parents decided that they could create and sustain the Garden without need of God. We continue to believe in this first lie, and the pursuit of it has led, time and again through the bloody pages of human history up until this very day, to war, misery, untold suffering, and even genocide. Do we understand this, that every time we have committed to war or genocide, we have done so fully believing that our actions would ultimately end in the establishment of a utopia of peace and plenty? The Garden is just beyond our reach only because there are some humans who stand in our way, either because they have the wrong political ideology, religion, or ethnic identity. If only we could get rid of them, cancel them, then we would have a world of peace and plenty! I see this in the news every day, in our own nation and around the world.

Do we see how these ideas require as much faith and belief as accepting the witness of the Holy Scriptures to the miraculous and supernatural reality of God? Yes, I know the arguments that believing people have committed atrocities in the name of God. But this is human nature: we commit atrocities and always appeal to whatever is available to excuse ourselves of culpability, whether we appeal to God, communist/socialist economic and social justice theory, the pseudo-sciences of intersectionality, eugenics, or any other means by which we excuse our sinful and selfish desires for control, power, and authority to do as we wish.

In the contest of world views, faith and belief in God, and in his Son, Jesus, wins for me. I believe that Jesus miraculously, supernaturally fed the multitudes. I choose to place all of my trust in God, and in his promise to restore all of creation to the innocence and splendor of his kingdom. I will read our Holy Scriptures using all the critical tools at hand: archaeology, linguistics, comparative literature, comparative history; and I will read them through the eyes of trust and belief in Jesus, who has redeemed us, and teaches us to patiently wait for that day when, at long last, God our heavenly Father shall renew of his creation with the splendor of a new and conjoined heaven and earth, and he shall reign for all eternity. That’s something I can believe in, and a hope that endures. My prayer is that the Church may continue to proclaim this Faith, or return to it where it has departed, with honest conviction and in loving compassion to all the peoples of the world.

Let your continual mercy, O Lord, cleanse and defend your Church; and, because it cannot continue in safety without your help, protect and govern it always by your goodness; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

#father troy beecham #christianity #troy beecham episcopal #jesus #father troy beecham episcopal #saints #god #salvation #peace #faith

[scoopsgf]

OK OK SO WHATS UR FAVE NEC LETTER?? FAV FIC OF THE TRILOGY?? FAVE QUOTE??

oh ok just come into my house and ask me to rip out my own heart? fine fine fine

my favorite letter is X, specifically this quote:

“The closest I’ve ever been to the Garden of Eden is the genesis on the battlefield when the shrapnel’s still falling like hail on a tin roof. You look at me with those blue eyes all hot and electric in your face, blood on your cheek, soot smudged over your nose. Bone of my bones. Were you taken from my rib? You must have been, or maybe I was made from yours. And God damn, I want it. I want back inside you. I want you now, same as I wanted you before, prettier than hell even with a bloodied nose and split knuckles. Don’t care you were smaller. Liked it, even — same as I like you this way too. You make me hungry. You understand? You make me hungry. That mouth pink like spun sugar, though it doesn’t stop you from talking fit to cut anyone down to bits with your angry words. A spitfire since you learned how to speak, and I’ll tell you something, it’s hell to love a fighter. Anyway, Jesus — I shouldn’t even be thinking it, much less writing it down. I used to love you so sweet, the way kids love, the way I was supposed to. Then it turned greedy and true. If there’s any Heaven that’s fit for me it’d be all your pale skin under my hands for the rest of eternity. I wouldn’t need anything else. Not food or drink or sleep. Just my hands on you and your sweet love-sounds.”

however, letter XI? Fuck. Look at this shit:

“Never really thought about the future. Never really could think much past you. In that respect, your ma and I had something in common, God rest her soul. But neither of us, I don’t think, were ever meant for much. Here’s the truth — baby, here’s the truth. I’ve got a rootless heart. I don’t think I’m meant for loving, or at least not anymore. And I should die out here. I’m the kind of guy who’s not meant to go back. I try to imagine a life after this and it just won’t come. So forget about me, will you? If it’ll make you happy. Live glorious, eat like a king, laugh until the sun comes up, never look back. Don’t you dare look back. More than anything I want to know that you kept on. More than anything I want to know that you took on the world — everything else seems to matter less and less. So how long have I loved you for? Womb to tomb, sweetheart. Since before I was even here at all. I get it now, you understand. Your ma was right. It really is a stupid question.”

I’ve got a r o o t l e s s h e a r t (jshsjdhsjd) womb to fucking TOMB sweetheart (kshsjshdjdhdnd?!?!) I mean if this ain’t love in it’s purest goddamn form, I don’t know what the fuck is.

My favourite fic is probably The Thirteen Letters, because it’s got so much of Bucky and WWII and I love it a ridiculous amount (also chapter 3 is just all of the letters compiled so go read that if you’re looking for a Saturday afternoon heart attack).

My favorite quote? Allow me to provide you with an abundance of them:

i. “But he’ll whisper the one truth he knows into the abyss anyway —

You are the soul inside of me. Even now. Even though you’re long gone.”

ii. “He blinks hard. It hurts so bad. Don’t do that, he wants to say. He wants to say: you’re breaking my heart.”

iii. “Ave Maria, gratia plena, get him out of this war, and if you’ve gotta take someone then take me, because I’ve got nothing real to go home to but he’s got a girl now and I can see the hope written all over his face when he sees her. Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, pray for us sinners, but don’t spend too much time on my immortal soul, because not even divine intervention can help me now. I know when to walk away from a fight and trying my damnedest not to need him was a losing battle.”

iv. “I won’t be in the history books; that’s for you. But I loved you first. As long as they get that right, I don’t care what they say.”

v. “This story has been unbelievable and strange, but maybe this is the most unbelievable and strange part of all: I never forgot him, not really. I only told myself that I had. I forgot without forgetting at all.

For decades I hid him deep within a secret part of me, and even though I lost his specifics, his nose, his brow, I somehow knew that he lived safe and far away, and that knowledge alone was my comfort. The shape he took in my mind was something special, and beyond that he was stored in incremental pieces all throughout me anyway: my teeth missed him, and so did my kneecaps, and even my angry hands. My spine knew something was wrong, too — I swear to God it felt the absent rungs. But my memory is four-dimensional and just enough elastic, which is maybe why it worked so well: why I could forget without forgetting, and why it all filtered back so quickly. Now I can tell anyone all about him; I can conjure him up straight from memory. And what a luxury it is, too — what a rich man I am — that I can think of him at all, the blue eyes, the chin, that red little mouth. If I kiss him anywhere he turns bruised and overripe and wanting, alive in my hands: and wouldn’t you like to know. His mean wit will cut you in two. But why would I tell you, of all people? Why would I tell you, when I’ve already spread myself at your feet, butterflied? Don’t read what comes next, I dare you. It’s only for him.

Today I can see all the way to the truth I’ll know at the end of the world.

Listen close. Listen to me when I say it in your ear. Remember it for me, just in case I ever happen to forget it again. I know this one in my spine-bones and somewhere now in the meat of my heart. It’s why the grave couldn’t keep me in, sweetheart. It’s how you even found me again at all. The fact of us is simple arithmetic. Torch me, bury me, break me: it's never going to stick. I’ll always come back from the dead for you. We belonged to each other before we ever belonged to ourselves.”

I mean what the fuck, you know?

#asks #anon #nec #not easily conquered #stucky #im so happy someone finally fucking ASKED #goddamn it #i cant even breathe #oh also i forgot to include it but like the whole damn letter about the oranges #i cant look at oranges anymore #i start to cry #im not even joking about that