#we love to see it🖤

[daz4i]

i think this is the most genuine emotion we've seen from nikolai ever. and the fact he seems unsure about how he's feeling, how it's seemingly contradicting, imo works really well with his character

he's all about saying things that contradict each other and imo, there is always some truth to both sides of what he says

so. here. i think some part of him was happy to be free of his only bond... but then it got overtaken with the part of him that realizes this bond wasn't. like. as constricting as he first thought

it seems that at the end of it all he somehow even WANTED to get that bond running deeper. imo, it was to feed both sides of him - the side that wants to be free can't actually prove his free will if they weren't that close in the first place, they barely interacted before, it's almost like killing any other person. on the other hand, he also genuinely likes fyodor and wants to be closer bc well. he is "perfectly sane". he is, underneath it all, still a person deep down, as much as he might hate that.

when fyodor threatens to take him out in the future he doesn't seem scared, but he also doesn't seem particularly excited i think? (or maybe that's just how he expresses his genuine, non-performative excitement, who knows.) at the same time, he also doesn't seem to want to kill him now, to follow him, like he's keeping it for that new game he was just promised

but then fyodor dies. and he won't get a chance to play it. and in a way, that takes from his freedom too, isn't it? his freedom to choose how his bond with fyodor will be. in a way, fyodor dying took away from his free will.

i truly believe nikolai is. maybe not selfish but certainly self-centered or self-serving enough to be sad over, and forgive me for this analogy, his toy getting broken. I'm certain he's also genuinely sad about his only friend dying, and so gruesomely too, but i wouldn't be surprised if at his core this is what makes him this sad. and i think that also leads to his conflicting emotions about fyodor's death

i also think that thing dazai pointed out about fyodor's lack of trust plays a part in nikolai's grief here. to him, fyodor is the only one who understood him, the only one who made him feel seen, and as far as we know the only person who was important to him. but he probably knew the feeling wasn't mutual. still, this was the nail in the coffin, confirming fyodor never saw him as a friend as well, not even as an ally.

i don't have an actual conclusion here, just speculation on nikolai's internal turmoil and how he might feel now. i really hope (and expect) we will see him again, and i wonder if this event will change anything about him.

i speculated in the past that his eye cover is a symbol of his bond with fyodor. and today, he took it off after fyodor died. i wonder, if the next time we see nikolai, he will still wear it or not (or possibly wear a new one). i guess we'll see!

#bungou stray dogs #fyolai #originally this post was just the first paragraph but then i started rambling in the tags #and as soon as i started i knew i won't be able to keep it short. and look at that! i was right 😭 #either way i hope you enjoy. i love him sm. I'm so glad we got to see him today 🖤 #bsd spoilers #dan rambles #i should be sleeping..... but nikolai is more important 🧐 #(<- was gonna wait for tomorrow to write a full analysis but lacks any patience)

[afterthedreamer]

to be loved

is to be changed

#the picture that made me fall in love with him #I saw him and knew I needed to adopt him #I contacted his foster parent immediately only to find out someone else had set up a meeting with him #but they bailed the day of so the foster parent told me they took him back to the shelter #and to go there if I wanted to see him #so I booked it to Charlotte and got there right as they closed #and as soon as they opened his kennel he jumped into my arms #I left that night with paper work filled out and brought him home the next day #I’m SOBBING I just love my little boy so much #we came into each others lives when we needed each other most it seems #and I can’t get over it #I just love my guy #my little wizard 🖤 #little baby man #Essek #if you read this novel in the tags I’m kissing your forehead

[soapcan18]

#boreas 🖤 #the oh hellos #oh hellos #see I’d say lapis lazuli is the easy choice for myself #but then after a second of actually thinking #I’m like wait this is hard #BC HEAR ME OUT OK #boreas is not my fav album BUT there are some underappreciated bangers on here #ROSE?? i could write a whole essay on rose and I have #boreas??? SUCH a beautiful song omg #cold and glowing i don’t listen to enough but they’re v good too #and then the instrumentals are GREAT #dare i say i do not like a kindling of sorts that much #i don’t hate it heck I don’t even dislike it but i don’t go outta my way to listen to it or anything #i do love the torches musical motif tho that’s so clever and it’s an effective intro #kinda like prelude but i prefer prelude #and smoke rising is just the rose instrumental extended which i love bc it’s SOO pretty ☺️ #ANYWAYS we got off topic #u all know this by now im just reiterating what i said before this choice is HARD ASF #dear wormwood #ttddv #through the deep dark valley #the oh hellos ep #notos #eurus #boreas #zephyrus #music stuff #folk music #indie music

[gallawitchxx]

GUESS WHO’S BACK BAAYYYBEEE?

(it’s me… tho i do wish it were rosé!mickey 😏)

#*taps mic* #IS THIS THING ON? #what’s up bbs i have been released!!!!! #i am still traveling so i’m not 100% online yet but feel free to pop into my inbox & say hellooooo #i’m gonna be queuing a shit ton of Good Stuff™️ that i missed out on flailing over too! #wowowow do i still know how to do this??? #WE SHALL SEE #anyway hi hello i love you all #good to be back #🖤🤙🏼🥳

[chanstopher]

guys my birthday is in a few days i’m soooo pumped 😭

#this weekend can’t come fast enough #i’ve been so damn busy but this weekend i’m gonna just chill #and do stuff that makes me happy 🥹 #sorry i’ve been mia life is insane #i’m trying to book a tattoo that i haven’t even finished designing 💀 #and my brother has been on my ass about hanging out #cause our birthdays are so close and we never see each other #(it’s his birthday today 🖤) #and he’s so fucking excited i’m gonna finally watch one piece he’s been so obnoxious about it for years #anyway i know i have a bunch of asks i will try to come on tomorrow and get through them #i hate being so mia but i love that you guys still care 🥹🖤🩶🤍

[arrogantsuggestion]

We are like stars, looking up to each other~ equally beautiful, striking, awe-inspiring.

There is no need for competition when we are all winners.

#I wishhhh the suggestion blog mods would come out of the woodwork and add onto this post in The Olden Ways #like ‘we are like (noun). (doing an action)~ equally (adjective x3). There is no need for (noun) when we are all (noun).’ #THAT WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN! but also someone just randomly reblogged their own interpretation of a post like this last night and I loved it. #go thru the post before this’s notes to see what I mean. #but just like. feel free to reblog this with your own interpretations. suggestion blog or not :) #I rly luv hearing your opinions💕✨ #mkay that’s it dahlings I hope you have the most fabulous of days🤍🖤❤️‍🔥💖💝

[peaceeandcoolestvibes]

FELICIDAaadeEES A LA CANCER ♋️ MÁS BELLA (RAQUEL TE HACE EL PULSO), GRACIAS POR SER PARTE DE MI VIDA ❤️❤️❤️ 4 years and counting 🍰

#I love how my friends and I hugged and she was like AYYY you smell so fresh and good #sis if I could I would be under water 24/7 #I’m not here for this heat #we love everyone and their uniqueness #and mind u I’m against almost everything this system promotes #love how squad goes from 25 to 32 🔥🔥🔥🔥 #4 almost 5… that January brought friends to my life lmao #there was let’s just say SOMEONE @ the party that is dating a famous guy and this was me @ myself when she was telling us: ‘see it’s not #uncommon LMAOOOO we’re queens’ #I love the queen of July so much ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ #remember that 🖤 black community 🖤 is present in every squad #in this case X2 #eh ME MEO con Braulio #coolest sag around MABDKAJS #listen gyozas were so good #😭 #🫶🏾 ​higher love ❤️

[copiasblair]

because i spend too much time on letterboxd i got to thinking if copia had letterboxd what his top 4 would be so. here. mine's on the left copia's is on the right,,admittedly it's limited by the movies i've seen but it's fun to compare and contrast our taste in movies in general

#it's neat because there are definitely ones in both of our favorites that the other person doesn't care for #but also some that we both appreciate and love!!! #also very fun side effect of thinking about this is now any time i think about/watch some of the movies i think he'd like i think about him #like i rewatched moulin rouge tonight and thought about him <33 #i also have a longer list of some other movies i see him really liking ehehe #also this is fully just based on vibes. most of them i don't have a complex reasoning beyond just 'dude trust me i know him' #also yes i'm a patron i like having custom posters <33 #my honey bun 🖤 #what do you have to say doll?

[music-for-them-asses]

Another one for the Fletch shorts archive

#Andrew Fletcher #fletch 🖤 #We love to see a man in short shorts

[deklo]

just went to a celebration of life for someone my parents’ age and saw so many of their friends who i haven’t seen in years and they’re all the best most fun people ever :( and they’re all getting old and im also getting old :(

#it was so cute but also so weird #to see them all in one room together again #it’s the type of party i grew up going to #so many of them kept talking about how they would babysit us in the back of the bar :( and now we drink and party with them for real :( #and i love them all so much :(((( #also got to see my cousins who aren’t my cousins (only ones my age) and i love and miss them so much too 😭🖤

[partlymadeofgold]

🖤

#ofmd season 2 #ofmd spoilers #I'm happy with how it ended #season 2 did feel a bit rushed with 8 eps instead of 10 #and I am really hoping for season 3 #but I like how they ended it and I would be ok if we didn't get another #unlike good omens oh god has that been renewed yet #ofmd #I love this show so much I can't wait to watch it again next month with you #even though you won't see this because you have the tag blacklisted until we watch it together #🖤

[endlich-allein]

More boobs for Till (Los Angeles, 24-09-2022) @ olga_attack

#till it's yours we want to see !! #till is love 🖤 #till lindemann #rammstein #rammstein 2022 #north america stadium tour 2022