#we need smthn good

[soldier-poet-king]

Im...happy?? Even temporarily???

Woke up and laid in bed longer than I should have, but less than I usually do, and while filled with dread, it's LESS dread than usual

Walked to mass at new church, completely bland generic sermon & bland generic music, which is perfect, nobody knows me or is trying to rope me into things or expects things from me, I don't have to pretend I don't absolutely loathe so much of catholic parish culture, I can just, go in, go out, be a nameless face in the pew which is Safe and Uncontroversial. There was even the coolest looking older butch in the pew with me. Docs and leather jacket and all.

Stopped and read on a cafe patio with a coffee and pastry. The sun was out. Nobody was constantly texting me asking where I was. It was me and my iced coffee and silly vampire book.

Checked out the main shopping area, saw all the local grocers and bakeries and small local businesses. I'm not in a suburban box store desert anymore. I may pay slightly more at small businesses but if I want the luxury of this kind of area that's a cost I'm willing (and newly able) to pay. Plus living here means I don't have to own a car and am saving so much on that front that it still works out in my favour financially

Stopped by a little florist, tiny hole on the wall, met the nicest man and his nephew and got tons of plant advice based on my apartment layout and some recommendations for what should be unkillable given my brown thumb. Will absolutely be going back for more plants once I'm fully set up + some for my office

Like. This was unthinkable a year ago. I desperately need to keep my job. So I can keep this. I forgot how good it was to live in an area like this, not endless detached housing sprawl. I can walk everywhere. I lived in an arealike this in uni but my budget was nonexistent (grad school funding woooo). Now that I have a (very small admittedly) degree of financial flexibility??? Im allowed to sit on a patio with a 5$ coffee once a week??? I can pop into little florists and grocers and bakeries if I want?? Nobody is going to judge me for "wasting" money by not buying the absolutely dogshit quality cheapest thing possible??? Or not reporting on my location at all times? I owe no accounting of my every trip out the house?

#the duality of fran #YALL IM. i might weep a bit #anyway #i got an ivy and a zebra pothos at this guys recommendation #he was SO nice and helpful man i could've stayed in his shop all day #WHODVE THOUGHT. COMMUNITIES VS SOULLESS BIG BOX STORES #like putting my money where my mouth is viz community based living and small businesses #also i dont have to online shop constantly #i can GET THINGS NEARBY #if i never have to go to walmart again. God bless #and i can volunteer. theres a food bank nearish by! i can hop on the subway and hit up any number of places to volunteer at #i can donate my knitting! i can be good #my mother is like oh no theres a homeless person #yeah its a city and not a suburb and yhe govt is failing our residents #HENCE WE NEED TO DO SMTHN ABT IT #but i CAN now that im local. not spending 3+hrs a day commuting

[waterghostype]

if both akita and harumi comes back in dragons rising i hope that llokita is the route they go with but lloyd and harumi get a little ending bye-bye and go their separate ways

#ninjago #aphid philosophy #aphid wanting lloyd and harumi to be happy? impossible #good ending #i just think in dr the *most* they should do is a mutual feeling of something there but never getting together #“ok theres def smthn's def up but we should never be together even if we wanted to theres way too much problems” #so basically llrm gets llokita'd with a goodbye and go love their lives #but i would also be totally happy with lloyd not getting romance #but i need them to come back... please pleasplepslsplape

[toxiccaves]

<3

#sry i just wanted to draw something for them. even though its not very good #was a bit hard to draw through tears. its been hard. #i need to vent in the tags so please pardon if its not smthn u want to read #ive been so struck with guilt for what i didnt do and what more i shouldve done. the pain of how alone i feel now #but they did so much for me. they were the only family i rlly had here. they helped me grow to be more responsible caring and loving #and i just am overwhelmed with how much they both meant to me and just how much love was shared. im so thankful to them for everything #theyve been with me for nearly half my lifetime!! it really felt like we were going to be together for an eternity. #i hope theyre doing well wherever they are now. i hope theyre getting to do everything they couldve ever wanted #its still really hard to process all of this and how everythings so different now. i miss them both so much. #i love you kitt. i love you stinky. always and forever <3

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

Hi I know it's been a hot minute since I've done this but woe au be upon ye because I've been listening to a slowed version of the disappearance of Hatsune Miku and yeah.

The vocas finding a fucked up very corrupted Piko because as a result of the discontinuation a lot of them were deleted, and they just decide to adopt him because they feel bad.

Slice of life anime except your roommate is a glitchy shell of a person who is very stressed and just wants a hug but can't communicate that because their voicebank is shitfucked and they're barely legible.

Here's the he

OHH there is so many things that could be done w/ this idea. poor poor piko 😭😭

ik u said slice of life anime which implies some more wholesome moments & comedy, and sure there is potential for that as well but. ofc the first thing my mind jumps to is angst 😭 pikoooooooo

#ask #SORRY FOR GETTING TO THIS LATE i wanted to draw at least smthn to go w/ it. even if this is kinda shitty but wah #it is so late rn i NEED TO WAKE UP IN A FEW HOURS BUT SHKJGHKJSNDGK 😭😭 LISTEN when you brainrot u brainrot #the doodle is sorta related to other misc thoughts cause this actually kinda reminds me of a separate thoughts w/ piko #similar vibes in a way? not exactly. its too much to get into rn but ohoho i have a lot of thoughts considering his relationships w/ others #how did you do the effects on him uahsjhgkj my art program cant do that 😭 or at least i havent figured out an equivalent. #i need to figure some stuff out at some point. also ughh the more i look at that doodle the more i dont like it but its 1am here so bruh #you cant see it w/ the angle but len is very much sobbing uncontrollably #also also eyy zatsune miku we thought u were dead. good to see you /j #no but seriously i remember all the slowed/pitched covers uploaded as fanloid covers. oh the times... #ollie the star anon

[yomiurinikei]

my neighborhood is apparently losing connection for ? some time ? so parting gift for u all. its v sillies how tsurugi spent so much time in blind faith and dependency due to being vvv traumatized and having no options other than juu. like i don’t think i’m well versed (or awake) enough to accurately articulate my thoughts on a “cult like” childhood right now but u guys get the vibe?

it’s silly how that’s how he grew up and then whoops! haha funny story tsurugi you know how you keep being given ways out/having your beliefs questioned and challenged and changed (kinji (twice), satsuki, etc)?

haha. wellll hope u took those lessons to hard because ur now being forcibly cut from the person u were reliant on in the past! because juu fucking sucks and traumatized as u are u can’t rely on him anymore as the figure u follow because the beliefs he instilled in u are the antithesis of his actions! so i sure hope ur able to cope with everything in a normal way instead of falling back on ur old beliefs to a even more extremist degree because everyone who gets close to u and then acts against what u believe in winds up dead or “worse” (a criminal/a despair)

and so obviously because this is how he is with systems of beliefs and with dependent tendencies he launches hard into isolating himself from others and not allowing for their input. and whoops look at what u did tsurugi! you created a workplace environment where people work for u (forming reliance/dependency) and also u provide them with a sense of security safety and stability after they’ve been traumatized and have a severe distrust of the entire world/view it as something which needs to be cleansed. and then u have a category 5 meltdown do some morally questionable things and go off the map because ur arguably alone.

this is so long but tldr. i think it’s really funny (not) the degree to which tsurugi winds up replicating juu. i need to not think abt tsurugi anymore i have so much schoolwork due i need to sleep

#dra #sdra2 #tsurugi kinjo #juu kinjo #tagged for organization!!! #i have smthn i want to say too with like #tsurugis tendency to get people killed for the greater good #(kouhei is a incredibly indirect and unintentional example of this. he doesn’t really count. but more directly #teruya and also tsurugis father figure both fit into the category of people tsurugi didn’t want dead but uh) #i think it’d be silly if based on all the theories we may get a omake with him and or yuuki (post omake2 / post sdra2) #smthn happens where like. i dunno tsurugi is put into a situation where he’s abt to sacrifice himself. yk yk #and smthn smthn yuuki smthn smthn divine luck. im so tired i NEED to stop talking but like #bc tsurugi always saw it as there’s no other way but haha look tsurugi! there is another way! and it’s through divine luck! and yuuki! #haha tsurugi doesn’t that make u soooo super happy? ahaha :)? #lots of ways things could go down i keep typing and deleting and retyping so i sleep now

[oatmealcrisp-freak]

so much respect for kusuke lovers who don’t declaw their scrunklemeow “yeah he’s destructive and a creep and an overall low quality decision maker who’d crush me personally and I won’t apologize for him but i’m electing to make a decision to love this walking talking atrocity” yall are so strong i’m shaking my fist at people who are loving my anti-blorbo by erasing his sins

#my light yagami enjoying self rooting for yall with tears in my eyes #i think thats one of the funnest ways to enjoy an anime person. make no excuses for behaviour you know is bad and still having the power to #enjoy it #don't need to make an OC out of a pre-existing blorbo because he doesn't meet the standards but the design is good or smthn #cus the temptation to do that is SO STRONG. i'd know i've done it myself. so RESPECT for the ones who REFUSE. #i won't say they're doing it WRONG cus to me theres very few ways to enjoy media wrong and this doesnt meet that standard but i am #giving permission if its needed for you to see the sins of thy blorbo and have affection for them anyway. nazis bigots and irl #murderer fandoms dni ;lkj;lkj #'he's a good brother' he's not. and he goes over the line of what i'm comfortable with so hes not my guy. but tbh if he wasnt fucked up he'd #be Much Less fascinating and i think it's a smart decision of asous to give kusuo's interpersonal anxieties a trauma based root. a lot of #comedies - hell even anime in general outside of grimdark - won't have the balls to go there #but its a valuable take away that power isnt necessary to effect others and drive change - positive AND/OR negative. that by itself is a #great power. how we use it is important. how we change our minds about it is too.

[alwaysoc]

This is the first Corpse Party OC I'd like to show off, here's Riko Saruwatori! She's for Dead Patient, so if you haven't played it there will be *slight* spoilers.

How she was drawn on paper (needed to separate the possible expressions and body+face because I end up screwing up the face when I draw on top of it... I'll need to practice getting over that)

Here's her body and face when digitally drawn, I'm not gonna claim it's the best, but it could be worse. It's good for someone that hasn't touched digital drawing in around 2 years, lol

Took me forever to find the English layout of the card layout.

Anyway, about Riko:

Design:

Riko is a 5'7 young girl below average weight with light blonde hair, resembling the jasmine she's named after (Riko meaning jasmine-child with certain kanji). Her hair is short, so that it won't get yanked on by her little brother, Kentaro, when she gives him piggyback rides. She also has deep emerald eyes that resemble her father's.

Personality

Riko loves to explore and find out new things and new places, adoring the quiet (or not-so-quiet, depending on if she brought her little brother) forest walks next to her home.

However, ever since her parents divorced (after an unfortunate accident involving her falling from a tree) her mother moved closer to the city, causing her to enjoy walks like that less than ever before. She has also recently become more timid and unsure of herself. Being less-social and overall making little contributions to group activities, becoming more indecisive by the day, and letting others take the lead.

Something that hasn't seemed to change, however, is her protectiveness towards her 11 year old brother. In fact, after the separation, it seemed to have strengthened considerably.

Story Integration

You'd find her in Dead Patient, in the 1st Chapter, in the normal ending. After Ayame encounters her nametag in the Locked Puzzle Room (via Ritsuko giving it to her), and after Ayame encounters Tomohisa freaking out.

Riko is running away from a walking corpse, screaming, "THEY CAN REVIVE THEMSELVES!?" Ayame, being too lawful-good for her own self-preservation, helps Riko. Riko gives Ayame a brief thank-you before telling her and Ritsuko to look away for a moment. They do so as the screen fades to black, while the graphic sounds of cutting and ripping something apart can be heard.

The screen goes back to normal as Ayame sees that Riko tore apart the zombie's head from its shoulders with a scalpel she apparently "found" in one of the rooms earlier. Riko tells the two that it's to try to ensure the zombies don't come back to life.

Ayame tells Riko about the check-in card that seemed to belong to her. Riko seems to panic for a moment before asking for it back, Ayame obliges and gives it to Riko. Riko thanks her and joins the party.

Once the group gets to the door Tomohisa was seemingly running away from, Riko decides to stick outside, while Ayame and Ritsuko go in.

Once the door shuts and the two on the other side are locked in, Riko tries her best to get the door to budge, along with Ritsuko on the other side, but there's no progress until Ayame defeats the hulking zombie inside.

After Ayame and Ritsuko finally get out, with two new members added to the party, Riko introduces herself to them, and follows along, trying to find and get through the exit.

#for a certain friend: Sachiko We Beg Of You #i spent way too long on this #mostly the digital drawing was a pain in the butt #so much i need to improve on #I'm gonna have most of the tags be stuff i need to work on to remind me what to improve on when bored #drawing eyes and hair on face #it's fine if the hair covers the eye you don't need to move the bang-tufts when they look so good! #making shoulders less stiff #Riko has stiff shoulders on purpose bc she feels awkward #but apart from that i just have so much shoulder and arm-bending trouble #does anyone else struggle with shoulders and sharp elbows? I'd legit love to know #if I'm gonna get back into digital art i should just try to improve and work on it more in general... #EYES! I need to work on making the pupils #whites and irises have a more natral blend #bc rn they are originally seperated by a thick black line and doubled back over with one of the colors #i just realized i forgot to layer-check the highlights in the eyes... #the left eye isn't right bc of that and it's really bugging me... I'll do a redraw or smthn at some point #to summarize #future-me that looks at this: #Eyes #shoulders & elbows #layer-checking #expression & hair in harmony #and... hands #if possible

[pepsitwist]

might go sit on the floor in the middle of a room and watch roh punk matches and happy stim over them. self care

#or i might hop around some random nooj matches. idk!!!! got the stim bug and need smthn good so it can b happy stimming #cm punk #ok to rb if ur feelin it as usual ik the punk girlies (gn) have the Mental Illness we r in this together #i’ve got a really busy next couple weeks so idk when i’ll be able to just binge watch matches next

[matchbet-allofthetime]

LISTEN

I WAS THINKING EXACTLY THE SAME THING TODAY!!!

Eric and Peter (Minus Tobias. He’s cool, but nope) - nothing new comes out about Divergent but I just sometimes remember those characters and can’t stop thinking about them!

Thank Goodness there are fans which keep writing fics with them because otherwise I would have eaten the wall!

Just uuuuuuuugh

💔💔💔💔💔

NO BC OMFG

the way they're always on the mindTM

Nobody has written enough fics for ANY of them (and this is so sad to me tbh) and I'm constantly gnawing the bars of my enclosure

Like I'd do anything for people to get into Divergent again and just go HAM on the fics

And even when there's months I don't think about Divergent, it ALWAYS lingers in my mind and I'm obsessed

Tobias is wonderful imho

But I WANT MORE of Eric and Peter, like please 😭 they make me feral on the daily

Like cmon. Eric and Peter have arms that could crush me and they're broad asf, which means soft chest to lay on and arms as pillows

There's never any new content for this fandom and I breaks me, especially because it's so good

I'm glad I occasionally find new fics for my boys because istg I'd have gone insane without them 😂

Always good to find another small fandom appreciator

#god im seriously obsessed #it's such a good fandom #i ache for more content #asks #divergent #divergent movies #eric coulter #tobias eaton #peter hayes #just cuz theyre mentioned lmao #seriously though #we need a revival or smthn #i gotta be sedated lmao

[bordonfreeman]

Got a cane to use temporarily until i can get something better, now my hobbling around the house is more ✨️obvious✨️

#a shut up #it's nice but also not nice #does that make sense? #id go into the details but I'm tired wo i wont rn #maybe later I'll make a pros v cons based off of what I've encountered so far or smthn #my cane is technically my moms. i widner if she'd let me customize it....... #not that she needs it anymore. thats why i forgot about it. we put it in the fuckin storage room #she got it for herself temporarily for a broken knee about a year ago. she's all good now. #just so yall dont think im fuckin. idk. taking my moms mobility aide that she needs #no it's something that's just been. existing in our house. bwing unused. so it's mine now

[soldier-poet-king]

Smthn smthn Eugenides asking Costis at the end of koa 'will you serve me and my god?' and when Costis says yes, Gen says to him 'then come out' (knowing that you'll never die of a fall unless he drops you etc etc etc) vs. Christ calling Lazarus from the tomb and everything that entails

#smthn smthn also like. the shortest biblical verse #jesus wept. smthn about gen as both human and divine. a tool of the gods. he can hear his god a little longer #it is not that eugenides the god causes his thieves to fall #but that he permits them too #smthn smthn theodicy. evil is not caused but permitted to occur. only in service of greater goods #goods we cannot see or understand. and which perhaps need to forgive the gods for #would you see your hand returned. and attolia lost to the mede? #IM. SO NORMAL #SO SO NORMAL TODAY #queen's thief #fran reads

[seventh-district]

CW: talkin’ about my scars and the experience of having blood drawn

oh, the tension between me and the poor urgent care staff member that’s been assigned the arduous task of trying to find one of my tiny escape artist veins so they can draw my blood whilst doing their absolute best to be polite and not say anything about the fucked up and concerning amount of scars on my arms, wrists, and hands

#cw sh mention #sh mention #cw blood mention #blood mention #cw medical #cw health issues #Seven.txt #most of the scars are very old and white but they are still unmistakable and they don’t bother me but i do always feel a lil bad #for whoever is drawing my blood or giving me a shot or whatever cause they’re probably like. concerned but don’t wanna say anything #i don’t actually know what they’re thinking though. maybe they see it often enough that they’re not that bothered by it! #i told the first person that tried to do the draw that i have a history of it being hard to find a vein #and they really tried! #but like i figured i had to sit there and drink some more water while they called in someone with more experience lmao #they got it tho!! so it’s all good and they were very nice! they complimented my perfume and we chatted about essential oils while waiting #there’s smthn relaxing about having blood drawn. to me. maybe i’m just insane tho #i just. like medical stuff??? it’s calming in a way. knowing that i’m getting tested and hopefully getting answers to my health concerns #the next few days of waiting for the test results is very much so NOT relaxing tho #so if anyone needs me i’ll be sitting here staring at my phone in anticipation :)

[whomturgled]

I have to WORK TODAY but i slept a lot yesterday bc idk chronic pain/fatigue/fibromyalgia things teehee so I havent slept yet TONIGHT and tomorrow I have a DATE that we've had to postpone twice due to Circumstances and I think that's also part of why I haven't slept im just like AAAAHHH identity crisis and How Do I Behave and interact with Others

#its a casual date bc im starting to be in a better place that i think im good for like. short term casual stuff #just like. actually experience dating yknow w/o the intent to Find Someone to Settle Down With #someday ill be back to that but for now we just wanna live laugh love #but not like fall in love for real for serious love but love in the sense that theres so many kinda of love #IDEK HOW THE DATES GONNA GO i cant even decide how attractive this person is bc okc they seem alright insta they seem more 😳 #but idk they seem nice !!!! but also to have any interest in me theres prob smthn wrong w them<3 #teehee and all that #and ive needed to pee like. mildly. for a couple hours but ik if i get up to pee that cat will follow and i dont wanna disturb her

[prehistorictriforce]

sometimes i’m like “yeah i’m super chill around celebrities, i don’t really clam up or anything, i’m super normal” and then i remember when i “met” frank iero and im like hmmmm maybe i’m wrong.

#it was a few years ago but like. a friend and i got to a venue i think… like a little over 12 hours early for the show??? #so we were obviously there before the band. but when frank got there it was still only like. my friend and a couple other ppl #(we became good friends w the group we waited with btw!!! we all have a gc on insta and stuff they’re rad!!!!) #(we’re trying to get together to see mcr together!!) #but frank like. comes by and starts asking us how we’re doing and is like hey do y’all need anything and whatever #we said we were fine bc evan had gotten us water n shit #and i was standing next to frank and we were all talking and he was like idk we were looking for food where should we go #and we’re in a totally different state from where i’m from so i’m like??? i don’t fuckin know???? #but this was frank fucking iero i wasn’t gonna admit i didn’t know smthn so i’m like I THINK THERES A GELATO PLACE AROUND HERE #so i just sit there like a god damn buffoon nodding and going yeah yeah yeah absolutely sure yeah!!! to every suggestion #and he kinda looks at me as if i’m gonna say smthn and i just smile all ridiculous and shrug and go ‘sounds good to me’ #there was much more to the conversation but the general gist was everyone else being normal and me being doe eyed dumbass #he was very nice abt it all bless him he was super busy but he came out to check on us a couple more times before it got busy #he was always smiley and happy and giggly abt it and i miss him 💔💔 frank i’m so sorry i was useless i swear i can be better #at least i went HARD during the show. we were all right in front since we were literally first in line lol #anyways. still absolutely one of if not my ultimate fave concert i’ve ever been to #these tags have been long as fuck but this memory plagues me at night

[djmousewife]

practicing angry phone calls w the gic in my head rn

#kankum #love how i emailed in NOVEMBER and i still havent gotten a response #about smthn kind of important=bottom surgery #but also was just asking if i needed to rerefer myself to the gic #so not exactly a hard question #but my gp emailed on like thursday? asking if i could have finasteride bc my hairs fucking falling out #and they got back to her today #KYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #also i saw endo and they were like its sooooooo urgent u start nebido Immediately send us a mental health report if u can #and we will send u a report so so quick we promii #almost 3 weeks besties #was it that urgent? bc i havent even gotten confirmation that the letter was good enough

[loving-delusions]

that's insane

#rambles #im a system #cough #coughcough #omygosh who said that............. #that's so crazy #did u guys hear smthn #anywayssss...... how i figured it out. idk either. #but i did somehow #and now we're here #cool👍 #im not gonna do that emoji tag LMAOOO fucking guess who is fronting. and we're not gonna introduce ourselves. Fuck You. #ANYWASYYSY ignore this #i just need to get this off my chest because i finally have a good reason why im like This™ #in simple terms there's four of us‼️‼️‼️LMAOOO #it feels weird using we and us. like. that's the royal we babey #also. just a flex. the innerworld is a fucking luxury hotel HA #we dunno either BUT FUCK YEAH #we have a POOL #RRAAAGGHHHH #RAAHHH