#we out here simping for old men
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「Feel the magic ๛ l.n」
part vi
✧.* it seems you slowly but finally get your old self back, making lando insecure as your new found confidence catches the eyes of more than one driver.
✧.* boosting girlies confidence before we ruin it again, just a little filler. this is just a feel good part for girlie and some struggling for lando. This is a psa for the people who wanted to be on my taglist but never got tagged, i didn't forget or ignore you, I simply am unable to tag you and therefore removed you from the list feel free to ask me again so I can take a look at it. Taglist is open Love ya ❤️
✧.* prev part - next part
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y/nusername
liked by carlossainz55, pierregasly and 467,652 others
y/nusername live, laugh, love or something like that. ☀️
tagged: landonorris
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julliettax I have to remind myself daily that I am in fact a straight married woman and that y/n is in fact a straight woman in a relationship and I'll never have a chance 🥵
simonsbat lando norris you lucky son of a bitch
patrishaaa y'all looking for a third?
norrizz 4th picture?!?! 😭
norry4 I know right?! Need someone to grab me like that (preferably lando but we've lost him) 😭
lan4lan well...they still together I see 🤮
milliewilde I hope lando can fight because my girl's been looking a little too good lately 😭
cecilemoulin you looking like a whole snack
hamilt44n GIRL DINNER GIRL DINNER
y/ncecile1 have you looked at yourself lately? 😍
charleeess16 crying at Pierre and Carlos creeping in her likes 😂
Hannahh we all know Pierre and Carlos are not liking this post because of lando..right? 💀
landonorris 😍😍
landoscar biggest simp on the grid
bott_ass if my girl looked like that..I would be the biggest simp too!
carlossainz55 🔥 🔥
carlandooo mans saw his ex getting her post red-bull glow up and remembered the good old days 😭
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mclaren
liked by landonorris, cecilemoulin and 199,762 others
mclaren front row locked in 🔒 P1 and P2 for the best team on the grid! 🧡
tagged: y/nusername, landonorris
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mclarennorris oh we're so back!
charlos16 never ever did I think I'd see the day max verstappen gets out qualified let alone by his own teammate 😂
y/nluvv y/n had a shit ton of poles last season but red bull always fucked up her races..
landonorr now bring it back home pls
norrizz if y/n really loves lando, she'd let him have his first win tomorrow 😭
michael90 best team on the grid for sure!
hamilt44n getting y/n back on the team was definitely the right move! Lando doesn't have to carry the team on his back all by himself anymore.
maxfewtrell absolutely mental, those are my friends
fewtrelllando I saw your live stream, dude was about to cry happy tears 😂 sorry about your girlfriend not making it into q2 though 😔
maxmaxmax GIRLFRIEND?!
fewtrelllando yeah Cecile..still a rumor but they're together in my head lmfao..we out here being delulu on the main
thomasgoms absolute legends 🔥
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y/nusername
liked by pierregasly, milouberger and 462,751 others
y/nusername saturday nights 🌜
view all 713 commente
y/nbabeee celebrating that pole in style
norrizz just one chance that's all I'm asking 😭
mcnorrislando asking for attention much? 🤮
norry4 damn, girl can't even post normal pictures without getting shit on..I've got some advice, unfollow her..
jaden00 check your dms?
charles16 these desperate men in these comments are sending me 😂
landonorris damn girl, you come here often?
y/nusername leave me alone you freak, I've got a boyfriend.
lnfoour4 stfu lmfao y'all so dumb 😂
pierregasly 😍
bott_ass jesus christ no shame at all..
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Everything taglist; @thomaslefteyebrow @hopefulinlove @smoothopz @softboystarkey @honethatty12 @cixrosie @parkersmjs @ireadthensuetheauthors @celestialams @be-your-coffee-pot @heli991113 @kodzuvk @reality-is-a-con @80sloverry @bibissparkles @myescapefromthislife @lanando4 @elliegrey2803 @ravisinghs-wife
Feel the magic taglist: @celesteblack08 @mrsmaybank13 @cha-hot @judesgfirl @roseseraj @kissesandmartinis @jpg3 @amulhermaisfelizdomundo @marialovesf1 @silkenthusiasts @luvrrish @laneyspaulding19 @emily-b @formula1bby @buckybarnessweetheart @strawberrychita @iifloweringnightsii @buendiabebeta @jjsprobablywrong @babyvinnie @mishaandthebrits
Lando taglist: @beatricemiruna @simp-for-fictional-people @landossainz @christianpulisic10
#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris au#lando norris#lando norris fanfic#lando norris smau#lando norris imagine#lando x reader
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Propaganda
Sophia Loren (Marriage Italian Style, Houseboat)—Major Italian star, first actress to win an Oscar for a performance not in English (for Two Women (1960)) and later when Roberto Benigni won an Oscar in 1999 he jumped over the chairs towards the stage going "Sophia Sophia!!" because he was running towards Sophia Loren and said he cared more about her than the Oscar, that's the effect she had on people. She was big in the 60s already even though she gained a lot more notoriety after that. And I mean. Can we take a moment and just.
Pola Negri (The Wildcat, Men, A Woman Commands)—Legally obliged to submit her as she's from Poland, but also it is one of the greatest stars of silent film, both in Hollywood and Europe, so she has to be here. The og femme fatale and a fenomenal dramatic actress. And just so hot in this 1920s vamp style. Obviously her career slowed down in America with the introduction of sound movies, because of her accent and low voice. I'd say her voice is so much hotter thanks to that, but I'm just a simple simp. But then she made movies in Germany, and after the war she was even offered Gloria Swanson's role in "Sunset Boulevard'' but she declined. She was probably bisexual as after romances with Charlie Chaplin and Rudolf Valentino in the 20s, since the 1940s she lived with her 'female friend'.
This is round 4 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.
[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]
Sophia Loren:
She has maxed out all her stats: beauty, elegance, sensuality, she's got it all. her mesmerizing eyes, her sensual mouth, her sharp face shape, her everything is so striking and unlike any other beauty in films. she was also voted the world most beautiful woman when she was freaking 65
im submitting her in honor of my dad bc she was the first celebrity crush of his he ever admitted to me and my sister :) and he was right. shes so pretty
OSCAR WINNER. Worked with some of the hottest leading men in Hollywood but remained faithful to her husband whom she had a loving marriage with till he died (even though Cary Grant almost tempted her once, it's complicated)
One of the most well-known sex symbols of the Golden Age of Hollywood, and unlike some unfortunate others, she seems to have been pretty well at peace with occupying that status. She made assertiveness and a tempestuous temper seem glamorous, and although she's famous for side-eying Jayne Manisfield's cleavage, honestly? She's one to talk.
Absolutely, drop-dead sexy, also a hard working, extraordinarily talented actress who didn't shy away from the less glamorous roles to gift us some gritty, memorable performances
Submitting this on behalf of my dad, who knows nothing of tumblr or this blog, but I remember being a kid watching Houseboat while my mom thirsted after Cary Grant, dad thirsted after Sophia Loren, and I was excited that they lived on a boat. Anyway, she's extremely beautiful and was an international star, doing a ton of movies in Italy before being recognized in the US.
JUST LOOK AT HER Y'ALL
Very smart and beautiful, the characters that she played (I mean those in the movies that I put in the previous question) are as strong and determined as her which I think adds to her hotness.
Global superstar and my late grandfather's long time movie star crush and for a man as quiet as he was, and as hopelessly devoted to his wife as he was, the fact that I know that means she was EXCEPTIONAL.
Big in the chest, snatched in the waist, pretty in the face 😳
Sexy, beautiful, deep. A real star.
Her performance in "Man of La Mancha" is just so very captivating. Dubbed as "the Italian Marilyn Monroe", she looks beautiful in any movie and at any age.
Forget the exotic sexpot of her Hollywood films and go back to her Italian career: sparking with Marcello Mastroianni as the woman who drives him mad and outwits all his fumbling attempts at macho posturing in their early films, and showing a tender side in their 1970s films. Sophia isn’t self-conscious about who she is or her beautiful body: she enjoys being herself and she wants us all to enjoy ourselves too.
She starred in films as a sexually emancipated persona and was one of the best known sex symbols of the time. She is a great cook and her filmography is immense.
On the misattributed quote that Sophia owed everything to spaghetti: 'Did you actually say the quote frequently attributed to you, "Everything you see I owe to spaghetti"?' "Non è vero! It's not true! It's such a silly thing. I owe it to spaghetti, no, no. Completely made up."
Pola Negri:
A tempestuous green-eyed vamp of the silent screen, she tantalized with both her onscreen and offscreen romances. Rocked a Polish accent - well, once there was sound! A true proficient at promoting herself and using all possible tools to do so - from a dead Rudolf Valentino to a cheetah named Teddy, the latter of which she brought to a press conference.
First European actress to be contracted by Hollywood! She survived poverty and illness to become The Queen of Tragedy, she divorced a count to date stars like Charlie Chaplin and Rudolph Valentino, then spent the rest of her life living with Margaret West in what could have been a romantic relationship.
I don't have much to say about her actual career, personal life, etc. but I just need everyone to see how hauntingly beautiful her face is. I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since the first time I saw her LOL like its pretty clear why she was such a star
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reader down bad for the characters
and their reaction to the reader
GOO, Gun, Samuel, Jake...others
thankyou for the request Anon! I'm sorry for being late to this but here we gooo!!
(Please forgive me for this bs)
Lookism Boys and their reaction to reader being down bad for them
Kim Jongoo
He's flirtatious but he will make you feel embarassed for being down bad for him
because he will talk about it in front of anyone, like literally.
"Y/n you're such a simp for me, look at you, everything about you screams simp~"
a whole lot of taunts are gonna be thrown towards you.
He finds it helplessly cute how bad you want him but can't have him
Will purposefully touch you to make you even more desperate.
Park Jonggun
It's not exactly common for him to find anyone who's so down bad for him because everyone else just wanna kill him (well he's fucked with women before but)
Will deffo fuck you dumb (if he's interested in you ehehe and that's if you can fight like crazy)
Sexual tension × 100
He won't actually tell you that he knows you're so desperate for him, he'll just fuck you.
Finds you pathetically cute and that you want him so much.
Oh you poor thing what have you gotten yourself into.
Jake Kim
Oh oh oh here comes the green flag 😌
He will 100% know you're down-bad for him AND he will and most likely flirt a lot with you, indirectly or directly may it be.
Don't expect him to be formal and shit. He's one hell of a smug, he'll rather just flirt you into it.
He deffo behaves like a Kdrama male lead. Showing off all his flamboyancy and elegance in front of you.
he's gonna be really cheesy with whatever he says especially in front of you.
"I heard people like veiny hands these days, they say it's very attractive" *flexes his hands*
Or "Ah I heard girls like when men cook" *burns the omelette he was already cooking*
And this all is directed towards you.
Seo Samuel
I really don't expect him to be much of a yk flirt or romantic, he's quite the simplistic guy.
That is until you find out how much he desires dominance in every aspect of his life. (Like seriously this man has a thing for dominance-)
Will not fuck you straight off.
He will mostly likely build the tension up until you completely submit to him (and then you're getting fucked)
I can't really say if he flirts with you directly but
You're gonna get those stares a lot, and he'll do it just to make you nervous
Bonus!
Euntae Lee (Vasco)
Here comes the Himbo
He's a little idiot so he'll really not get why you're so down bad for him.
He'll probably ask you why you behave like this in front of him.
And when Jace tells him you're interested in him he'll start jumping around like a kid.
"Y/N DO YOU LIKE ME?!?!" He'll ask you, a stupid smile on his face.
Well he's probably getting smacked by you or either Jace for acting like a dumbass.
Don't expect him to understand anything lmao he's just a 5yr old in a body of a teenager (a buff one I'd say he built like a gangster LMAO)
#lookism#lookism manhwa#park jonggun#lookism jonggun#kim joongoo#kim goo#jake kim#samuel seo#lookism x reader#kim gimyung#euntae lee#vasco
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The Troubling Trend in Teenage Sex
Peggy Orenstein out here doing God's work
NY Times 4/12/24
By Peggy Orenstein
Ms. Orenstein is the author of “Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent and Navigating the New Masculinity” and “Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape.”
Debby Herbenick is one of the foremost researchers on American sexual behavior. The director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University and the author of the pointedly titled book “Yes, Your Kid,” she usually shares her data, no matter how explicit, without judgment. So I was surprised by how concerned she seemed when we checked in on Zoom recently: “I haven’t often felt so strongly about getting research out there,” she told me. “But this is lifesaving.”
For the past four years, Dr. Herbenick has been tracking the rapid rise of “rough sex” among college students, particularly sexual strangulation, or what is colloquially referred to as choking. Nearly two-thirds of women in her most recent campus-representative survey of 5,000 students at an anonymized “major Midwestern university” said a partner had choked them during sex (one-third in their most recent encounter). The rate of those women who said they were between the ages 12 and 17 the first time that happened had shot up to 40 percent from one in four.
As someone who’s been writing for well over a decade about young people’s attitudes and early experience with sex in all its forms, I’d also begun clocking this phenomenon. I was initially startled in early 2020 when, during a post-talk Q. and A. at an independent high school, a 16-year-old girl asked, “How come boys all want to choke you?” In a different class, a 15-year-old boy wanted to know, “Why do girls all want to be choked?” They do? Not long after, a college sophomore (and longtime interview subject) contacted me after her roommate came home in tears because a hookup partner, without warning, had put both hands on her throat and squeezed.
I started to ask more, and the stories piled up. Another sophomore confided that she enjoyed being choked by her boyfriend, though it was important for a partner to be “properly educated” — pressing on the sides of the neck, for example, rather than the trachea. (Note: There is no safe way to strangle someone.) A male freshman said “girls expected” to be choked and, even though he didn’t want to do it, refusing would make him seem like a “simp.” And a senior in high school was angry that her friends called her “vanilla” when she complained that her boyfriend had choked her.
Sexual strangulation, nearly always of women in heterosexual pornography, has long been a staple on free sites, those default sources of sex ed for teens. As with anything else, repeat exposure can render the once appalling appealing. It’s not uncommon for behaviors to be normalized in porn, move within a few years to mainstream media, then, in what may become a feedback loop, be adopted in the bedroom or the dorm room.
Choking, Dr. Herbenick said, seems to have made that first leap in a 2008 episode of Showtime’s “Californication,” where it was still depicted as outré, then accelerated after the success of “Fifty Shades of Grey.” By 2019, when a high school girl was choked in the pilot of HBO’s “Euphoria,” it was standard fare. A young woman was choked in the opener of “The Idol” (again on HBO and also, like “Euphoria,” created by Sam Levinson; what’s with him?). Ali Wong plays the proclivity for laughs in a Netflix special, and it’s a punchline in Tina Fey’s new “Mean Girls.” The chorus of Jack Harlow’s “Lovin On Me,” which topped Billboard’s Hot 100 chart for six nonconsecutive weeks this winter and has been viewed over 99 million times on YouTube, starts with, “I’m vanilla, baby, I’ll choke you, but I ain’t no killer, baby.” How-to articles abound on the internet, and social media algorithms feed young people (but typically not their unsuspecting parents) hundreds of #chokemedaddy memes along with memes that mock — even celebrate — the potential for hurting or killing female partners.
I’m not here to kink-shame (or anything-shame). And, anyway, many experienced BDSM practitioners discourage choking, believing it to be too dangerous. There are still relatively few studies on the subject, and most have been done by Dr. Herbenick and her colleagues. Reports among adolescents are now trickling out from the United Kingdom, Australia, Iceland, New Zealand and Italy.
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Twenty years ago, sexual asphyxiation appears to have been unusual among any demographic, let alone young people who were new to sex and iffy at communication. That’s changed radically in a short time, with health consequences that parents, educators, medical professionals, sexual consent advocates and teens themselves urgently need to understand.
Sexual trends can spread quickly on campus and, to an extent, in every direction. But, at least among straight kids, I’ve sometimes noticed a pattern: Those that involve basic physical gratification — like receiving oral sex in hookups — tend to favor men. Those that might entail pain or submission, like choking, are generally more for women.
So, while undergrads of all genders and sexualities in Dr. Herbenick’s surveys report both choking and being choked, straight and bisexual young women are far more likely to have been the subjects of the behavior; the gap widens with greater occurrences. (In a separate study, Dr. Herbenick and her colleagues found the behavior repeated across the United States, particularly for adults under 40, and not just among college students.) Alcohol may well be involved, and while the act is often engaged in with a steady partner, a quarter of young women said partners they’d had sex with on the day they’d met also choked them.
Either way, most say that their partners never or only sometimes asked before grabbing their necks. For many, there had been moments when they couldn’t breathe or speak, compromising the ability to withdraw consent, if they’d given it. No wonder that, in a separate study by Dr. Herbenick, choking was among the most frequently listed sex acts young women said had scared them, reporting that it sometimes made them worry whether they’d survive.
Among girls and women I’ve spoken with, many did not want or like to be sexually strangled, though in an otherwise desired encounter they didn’t name it as assault. Still, a sizable number were enthusiastic; they requested it. It is exciting to feel so vulnerable, a college junior explained. The power dynamic turns her on; oxygen deprivation to the brain can trigger euphoria.
That same young woman, incidentally, had never climaxed with a partner: While the prevalence of choking has skyrocketed, rates of orgasm among young women have not increased, nor has the “orgasm gap” disappeared among heterosexual couples. “It indicates they’re not doing other things to enhance female arousal or pleasure,” Dr. Herbenick said.
When, for instance, she asked one male student who said he choked his partner whether he’d ever tried using a vibrator instead, he recoiled. “Why would I do that?” he asked.
Perhaps, she responded, because it would be more likely to produce orgasm without risking, you know, death.
In my interviews, college students have seen male orgasm as a given; women’s is nice if it happens, but certainly not expected or necessarily prioritized (by either partner). It makes sense, then, that fulfillment would be less the motivator for choking than appearing adventurous or kinky. Such performances don’t always feel good.
“Personally, my hypothesis is that this is one of the reasons young people are delaying or having less sex,” Dr. Herbenick said. “Because it’s uncomfortable and weird and scary. At times some of them literally think someone is assaulting them but they don’t know. Those are the only sexual experiences for some people. And it’s not just once they’ve gotten naked. They’ll say things like, ‘I’ve only tried to make out with someone once because he started choking and hitting me.’”
Keisuke Kawata, a neuroscientist at Indiana University’s School of Public Health, was one of the first researchers to sound the alarm on how the cumulative, seemingly inconsequential, sub-concussive hits football players sustain (as opposed to the occasional hard blow) were key to triggering C.T.E., the degenerative brain disease. He’s a good judge of serious threats to the brain. In response to Dr. Herbenick’s work, he’s turning his attention to sexual strangulation. “I see a similarity” to C.T.E., he told me, “though the mechanism of injury is very different.” In this case, it is oxygen-blocking pressure to the throat, frequently in light, repeated bursts of a few seconds each.
Strangulation — sexual or otherwise — often leaves few visible marks and can be easily overlooked as a cause of death. Those whose experiences are nonlethal rarely seek medical attention, because any injuries seem minor: Young women Dr. Herbenick studied mostly reported lightheadedness, headaches, neck pain, temporary loss of coordination and ear ringing. The symptoms resolve, and all seems well. But, as with those N.F.L. players, the true effects are silent, potentially not showing up for days, weeks, even years.
According to the American Academy of Neurology, restricting blood flow to the brain, even briefly, can cause permanent injury, including stroke and cognitive impairment. In M.R.I.s conducted by Dr. Kawata and his colleagues (including Dr. Herbenick, who is a co-author of his papers on strangulation), undergraduate women who have been repeatedly choked show a reduction in cortical folding in the brain compared with a never-choked control group. They also showed widespread cortical thickening, an inflammation response that is associated with elevated risk of later-onset mental illness. In completing simple memory tasks, their brains had to work far harder than the control group, recruiting from more regions to achieve the same level of accuracy.
The hemispheres in the choked group’s brains, too, were badly skewed, with the right side hyperactive and the left underperforming. A similar imbalance is associated with mood disorders — and indeed in Dr. Herbenick’s surveys girls and women who had been choked were more likely than others (or choked men) to have experienced overwhelming anxiety, as well as sadness and loneliness, with the effect more pronounced as the incidence rose: Women who had experienced more than five instances of choking were two and a half times as likely as those who had never been choked to say they had been so depressed within the previous 30 days they couldn’t function. Whether girls and women with mental health challenges are more likely to seek out (or be subjected to) choking, choking causes mood disorders, or some combination of the two is still unclear. But hypoxia, or oxygen deprivation — judging by what research has shown about other types of traumatic brain injury — could be a contributing factor. Given the soaring rates of depression and anxiety among young women, that warrants concern.
Now consider that every year Dr. Herbenick has done her survey, the number of females reporting extreme effects from strangulation (neck swelling, loss of consciousness, losing control of urinary function) has crept up. Among those who’ve been choked, the rate of becoming what students call “cloudy” — close to passing out, but not crossing the line — is now one in five, a huge proportion. All of this indicates partners are pressing on necks longer and harder.
The physical, cognitive and psychological impacts of sexual choking are disturbing. So is the idea that at a time when women’s social, economic, educational and political power are in ascent (even if some of those rights may be in jeopardy), when #MeToo has made progress against harassment and assault, there has been the popularization of a sex act that can damage our brains, impair intellectual functioning, undermine mental health, even kill us. Nonfatal strangulation, one of the most significant indicators that a man will murder his female partner (strangulation is also one of the most common methods used for doing so), has somehow been eroticized and made consensual, at least consensual enough. Yet, the outcomes are largely the same: Women’s brains and bodies don’t distinguish whether they are being harmed out of hate or out of love.
By now I’m guessing that parents are curled under their chairs in a fetal position. Or perhaps thinking, “No, not my kid!” (see: title of Dr. Herbenick’s book above, which, by the way, contains an entire chapter on how to talk to your teen about “rough sex”).
I get it. It’s scary stuff. Dr. Herbenick is worried; I am, too. And we are hardly some anti-sex, wait-till-marriage crusaders. But I don’t think our only option is to wring our hands over what young people are doing.
Parents should take a beat and consider how they might give their children relevant information in a way that they can hear it. Maybe reiterate that they want them to have a pleasurable sex life — you have already said that, right? — and also want them to be safe. Tell them that misinformation about certain practices, including choking, is rampant, that in reality it has grave health consequences. Plus, whether or not a partner initially requested it, if things go wrong, you’re generally criminally on the hook.
Dr. Herbenick suggests reminding them that there are other, lower-risk ways to be exploratory or adventurous if that is what they are after, but it would be wisest to delay any “rough sex” until they are older and more skilled at communicating. She offers language when negotiating with a new partner, such as, “By the way, I’m not comfortable with” — choking, or other escalating behaviors such as name-calling, spitting and genital slapping — “so please don’t do it/don’t ask me to do it to you.” They could also add what they are into and want to do together.
I’d like to point high school health teachers to evidence-based porn literacy curricula, but I realize that incorporating such lessons into their classrooms could cost them their jobs. Shafia Zaloom, a lecturer at the Harvard Graduate School of Education, recommends, if that’s the case, grounding discussions in mainstream and social media. There are plenty of opportunities. “You can use it to deconstruct gender norms, power dynamics in relationships, ‘performative’ trends that don’t represent most people’s healthy behaviors,” she said, “especially depictions of people putting pressure on someone’s neck or chest.”
I also know that pediatricians, like other adults, struggle when talking to adolescents about sex (the typical conversation, if it happens, lasts 40 seconds). Then again, they already caution younger children to use a helmet when they ride a bike (because heads and necks are delicate!); they can mention that teens might hear about things people do in sexual situations, including choking, then explain the impact on brain health and why such behavior is best avoided. They should emphasize that if, for any reason — a fall, a sports mishap or anything else — a young person develops symptoms of head trauma, they should come in immediately, no judgment, for help in healing.
The role and responsibility of the entertainment industry is a tangled knot: Media reflects behavior but also drives it, either expanding possibilities or increasing risks. There is precedent for accountability. The European Union now requires age verification on the world’s largest porn sites (in ways that preserve user privacy, whatever that means on the internet); that discussion, unsurprisingly, had been politicized here. Social media platforms have already been pushed to ban content promoting eating disorders, self-harm and suicide — they should likewise be pressured to ban content promoting choking. Traditional formats can stop glamorizing strangulation, making light of it, spreading false information, using it to signal female characters’ complexity or sexual awakening. Young people’s sexual scripts are shaped by what they watch, scroll by and listen to — unprecedentedly so. They deserve, and desperately need, models of interactions that are respectful, communicative, mutual and, at the very least, safe.
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Questions
Age: 3 years old
Hi!! It's been a while since I've written a fic... Uhm so i don't have any ideas whatsoever and i was hoping you guys could lend me some of your requests!! Hehe I'll try my best to write them
Taglist: @diaryoflife @xxromanoffxx @lissaaaa145 @fxckmiup @mmmmokdok @sayah13 @karmasgxrl @meurgen @simp-erformarvelwomen @lilaswidowspark @snowdrop1026 @beholdagaywriter
Thoughts...
Thoughts were roaming around your head. It wasn't unusual for you to have that. Everything you see was a thing that needed to be questioned.
The moonlight shining through your window and the clouds passing by it piqued your curiosity. And then you noticed the stars. It was oddly a different shape than the ones you have on your ceiling which glow at night.
You tried to shake it off and let your body rest. "I'm gonna figure you guys out tomorrow," you said to yourself.
You snuggled yourself in your blanket and closed your tired eyes.
"But wait why does the stars in my room glow different than the ones outside?"
"Well, it's store-bought" You rolled your closed eyes.
"But why is it that the stars are a different shape tho?"
Your eyebrows were all furrowed. Questions were swirling in your mind.
"Ugh, I'll figure it out now" you grumbled to yourself.
You got up from your bed and scurried your way to your mother's room.
The sounds of the door creaking didn't fail to wake Natasha but with the hurried little footsteps and stifled yawn, she knew that it was you.
"Mama, wake up!" you whispered shouted.
Opening one eye, she looked at your distressed face, "What is it, honey? Why are you up?" she said.
"Why are the stars in my room different from the ones outside?" you tilted your head in question.
Natasha silently giggled hoping the other redhead won't wake up, "Is that what's keeping you up, malyshka?"
"Mhm"
"Well, come here" she ushered. She tucked you in while you snuggled comfortably.
Natasha took a deep breath in thought about what should she answer to a little girl like you who's smart and also likes knowing about fantasy.
"Honey, stars outside are a big circle just like our planets" she explained. "But stars glow and has different colors because fairies paint them according to the stars request."
"So does that mean the stars in my ceiling should be a circle?" you questioned.
"But if they were they would become a circle, right?"
"Mama." you deadpanned. "That doesn't make sense"
This time the other redhead who appears to be sleeping is now chuckling. Natasha's glare burned Wanda's back.
"Mommy?" you addressed Wanda.
Wanda turned to face you, "Yes, baby?"
"Tony said that babies are made when women and men make love. But you're both women and you guys don't have bananas." you pondered.
"I'm gonna kill Tony" Natasha mouthed.
"Unless you guys are hiding bananas down there" you squinted.
"WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?" Wanda mouthed back
"So how did you guys make me?"
"You answer that" Natasha pointed at Wanda and bailed, pretending to sleep.
You turned your head to Wanda waiting for the answer. Wanda looked horrified like she got asked the hardest question in the whole world.
"Mommy?"
Oh God this is gonna be a long night
#mommy wanda#wanda maximoff x natasha romanoff#wanda maximov#wanda maximoff#natasha romanov#natasha alianovna romanova#natasha marvel#natasha x wanda#natasha romanoff#natasha x reader#natasha romonova#mama nat#natasha romanoff fanfic#soft natasha romanoff#wanda marvel#wandanat
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Dispatch! (The Ossan's Love Episode)
And we're back!
NiNi and Ben bring our friend @twig-tea to the show to talk about the entire Ossan's Love series. We'll talk about the way this franchise evolves over time, the difficulties of comedy, what it means to love older queer men, and how this show tackles the complexities of family and masculinity.
Timestamps
The timestamps will now correspond with chapters on Spotify for easier navigation.
00:00:00 - Welcome
00:01:15 - Introduction and Some Context
00:06:25 - Ossan’s Love History and Summary
00:13:42 - The Characters
00:28:23 - Love or Dead and In The Sky
00:39:00 - Ossan’s Love Returns
00:45:33 - Final Thoughts and Ratings
The Conversation Transcripts!
Thanks to the continued efforts of @ginnymoonbeam as transcriber, and @lurkingshan as an editor and proofreader, we are able to bring you transcripts of the episodes.
We will endeavor to make the transcripts available when the episodes launch, and it is our goal to make them available for past episodes (Coming soon thanks to @wen-kexing-apologist). When transcripts are available, we will attach them to the episode post (like this one) and put the transcript behind a Read More cut to cut down on scrolling.
Please send our volunteers your thanks!
00:00:00 - Welcome
NiNi
Welcome to The Conversation About BL, aka The Brown Liquor Podcast.
Ben
And there it is. I’m Ben.
NiNi
I’m NiNi.
Ben
And we’re you’re drunk Caribbean uncle and auntie here sitting on the porch in the rocking chairs.
NiNi
Four times a year we pop in to talk about what’s going on in the BL world.
Ben
We shoot the shit about stories and all the drama going into them. I review from a queer media lens.
NiNi
And I review from a romance and drama lens.
Ben
So if you like cracked-out takes and really intense emotional analysis…
NiNi
If you like talking about artistry, industry, and the discourse…
Ben
And if you generally just love simping…
NiNi
There is a lot of simping on this podcast…
Ben
We are the show for you!
00:01:15 - Introduction and Some Context
Ben
And we're back!
This week, we are covering all of Ossan's Love, from 2016 through 2024. We have brought on a special guest for this special episode as we're going to talk about the longest-running BL project. We have brought on our friend @twig-tea.
Twig
Hello.
NiNi
Hi, Twig. Welcome to the show.
Twig
Thank you so much for having me.
NiNi
New friend of the pod. Super excited to have you here. Twig is what we delightfully referred to as a ‘fandom old.’ I'm very excited to be having this conversation with two fandom olds in here, Twig and Ben, because, dear listeners, I have not had the time to watch Ossan's Love, so this is gonna be interesting. Ben and Twig are gonna school me.
Twig
We'll do our best.
Ben
This is going to be an interesting episode because we're going to be talking about a project that was somewhat overlooked by fandom, myself included, until the last couple of months. And I'm a little bit salty about it, and so I wanted to bring on somebody who has watched all of this in real time, and I thought that their perspective would be helpful.
Twig, you are new to our listeners. Why don't you tell them a little bit about yourself in fandom and your history with queer cinema and BL?
Twig
I actually started on the GL side, which is a little bit different than I think a lot of folks in the BL fandom. I started with getting into Sailor Moon and got involved with a group of women who started Yuricon. The first Yuricon was held in Newark, NJ, in 2003 and I was the secretary.
From there, there just wasn't enough GL content, and so I got into BL, too. I was really into Japanese manga, was part of a few scanlation groups, got oversaturated, stepped away, came back in 2016 to be shocked at the fact that a whole lot of the stuff that I used to watch was now made into live action.
The YouTube algorithm in late 2016—early 2017—fed me Lovesick and I sort of went, “Hello. What's this?” Then watched Make it Right and was hooked on Thai BL. Tried to backfill as much as I could, so I watched Gray Rainbow, and Diary of Tootsies, and all this stuff that nobody talks about, really, anymore.
One of the things about fandom at that time was that the way you found stuff was digging and a prayer, and random people making random lists, and it was very hard to tell how good those lists were. And so I managed that by watching everything and making my own opinions. And that is why I watched Ossan’s Love when it aired, or as soon as I could get my hands on it.
NiNi
So we're talking like real, real old school. We're talking about “Oh God, maybe some fansubber might help us out here.”
Twig
Fuckin’, like, Internet relay chat.
NiNi
IRC was my job back in the day.
Twig
Yes!
NiNi
I was talking about other things—not BL, but I was there.
Ben
Twig has sketchy as shit DVDs that were handed to her by a fan that have not great rip but really solid subs.
Twig
Bought in a mall parking lot with Mandarin subtitles that we used to watch with my friends who spoke Mandarin so they could translate for us in real time. It was hard. We used to walk uphill both ways back in the day.
Ben
A lot of folks who have been in this for a long time—we joked that we watched everything because we had to. You have done a better job of keeping track of what you've watched.
Twig
I wish I'd done better. I only really started tracking things in 2020. I did try to backfill the years before that, but I only really captured all of the major series. There was so many shorts, and things like that, I just couldn't do. But my spreadsheet has about 600 things on it, 606 as of today.
Ben
Incredible.
NiNi
I have been watching media overall—like seriously watching media—for…30 years…and I have not watched 606 of anything.
Ben
Nah, I believe her. It adds up. I engage with close to 100 BLs every year for the last 2-3 years.
NiNi
Clearly I'm not in these streets with y'all.
[Twig laughs]
Ben
I'm so glad Twig has showed up because it has given me permission to not watch so much.
NiNi
I bow down to you guys, because there was a point in time where, trying to keep up with week-to-week, I was watching something like eight shows at a time and I literally felt like my head was on fire. So, I don't know how you guys do it.
Ben
Practice. [laughs]
NiNi
We talked about this on the show, how last year I watched 50 things, maybe, for the whole year, and I felt like I was losing my mind. I usually watch like 15.
Ben
50 is good. Like, that's a really healthy number.
Twig
That is. That's pretty solid.
NiNi
As in five-zero?
Ben
Yeah, no, that's great!
NiNi
A year?!
Ben
Yeah! And we made a whole fucking show out of it! It’s good!
NiNi
Deep breaths. Okay, let's continue. Let's go on. [laughs]
00:06:25 - Ossan’s Love History and Summary
NiNi
Let's get into Ossan's Love. Ben, do the honors, tell us what is Ossan's Love about?
Ben
Actually, I want to do this one a little bit differently.
NiNi, you have not engaged with Ossan's Love. The most you have is the fandom vibe on it from the periphery. What is your impression of Ossan's Love prior to all of us posting a lot about the new show?
NiNi
When you say periphery, I think you're being incredibly generous. There was one where they’re flight attendants maybe, or something to do with an airline. I am aware of that. And then there was something with a boss. There was a thing about a shower. There's some dirty jokes that go over my head because they're referential to this show. But in terms of my awareness of Ossan’s Love, it's honestly not much.
Did I get any of those things correct by the way?
Twig
You totally did.
Ben
You did. I almost shouted “Dispatch” when you mentioned the airport. [Twig and Ben laugh]
All right. So, I will give what I knew of Ossan's Love prior to earnestly engaging with it: Ossan's Love is a workplace-set drama in which a guy who works in an office is being pursued by a colleague of the same age as him and his boss—who is like 20-plus-odd years older than him. At the time when I didn't watch it, the fandom vibe on it was that it was fairly offensive, particularly around the old guy character. And, when it was hard to find this show, I was like, “Whatever, I'm not going to work that hard for a show that people seem really put off by.” I have had to make sure that I check if I am riding an old fandom opinion from prior to 2019 when it comes to older work, because those opinions are usually not informed by the lens that I use. And so I decided to engage with Ossan's Love properly.
Before we start describing what the show is specifically, Twig, what do you remember about your experience watching the show in real time and the popular opinions about it?
Twig
So, the first thing is real time had really different meanings back then because we didn't have international distribution. It was sort of when things were fan subbed and when you could find them and knew they existed. So, I actually didn't get to watch the short until years after the original. So my first outing with Ossan’s Love was season one.
At the time, it felt like if you liked it, you should be quiet about it, because the opinion was so negative that you would be shouted down if you said anything positive about it. So I just sort of stayed in my corner of enjoyment and tried not to think too hard about it.
Ben
That is unfortunately how I remember it being. It was not popular to say positive things about Ossan’s Love at the time. Even the fans of Ossan's Love seemed super ambivalent about the second season, which was an alternative universe.
Twig
Yeah. When Season 2 aired it was an even wider swing. The people who really loved Season 1 seemed to hate Season 2. I actually like Season 2 better than Season 1, so I was even more like, [laughs] “Okay, I guess I don't know what I'm talking about, guys, so I'm just gonna stay over here and let you all have your opinions over there.”
Ben
So our quick timeline: we have Ossan’s Love the TV special in 2016. We have Ossan’s Love the TV show airing during spring of 2018. They released the movie Ossan’s Love: Love or Dead —that went into theaters on August 23rd of 2019—and then a few months later, in November, they released Ossan’s Love: In The Sky. It's my understanding that Ossan’s Love Returns was originally supposed to air in, like, 2020-2021. They've returned to that project this year in 2024.
NiNi
I know they're going to be doing a Thai version of this coming up and they also have the Hong Kong version?
Twig
That's right. Yep. There was a Hong Kong version in I think 2021 or 2022.
NiNi
I love when they take a property and they remake it across cultures over and over again. I'm always intrigued to see how they turn out.
Ben
Have you watched the Hong Kong version, Twig?
Twig
I peeked at it. It's really true to season one in a lot of ways. I haven't actually watched it all the way through because I was like, “If I want to rewatch season one, I'll just rewatch season one.”
Ben
I feel like I have to watch it at some point.
All right, so let's get into Ossan’s Love properly now: Ossan’s Love is about a 33 year old man named Haruta who is a slob. He is a hot mess of a man. He cannot take care of himself. He lives with his mom, and she does all the housework. She decides to bail on him and go run off with the hot new man she's with. And so he asks his colleague, whose name is Maki, to move in with him to help him out because Maki is very good at house chores.
He learns accidentally that his boss, whose name is Kurasawa Musashi, has had a crush on him for a long time and also simultaneously learns that Maki has been crushing on him for a long time. Hijinks ensue as the two of them begin aggressively pursuing him, and he is not prepared for this sudden surge in gay activities.
Twig
One thing I add to your description, Ben, is it's a comedy.
Ben
So this is where things get a little bit complicated. Comedy is hard to do correctly, because a big part of comedy is playing with people's preconceptions of how an interaction should go. A lot of folks struggle with Japanese comedy because they're just not aware of the expectations for how an interaction should go, and so the humor is not landing on them, and this can happen even in your own culture. Like, if you showed a teenager today Airplane, many of the jokes in that movie would make no sense to them because they're missing some of the cultural context. Some of that exists with peoples engagement with Ossan's Love, I think.
Twig
I think that's right.
00:13:42 - The Characters
Ben
The big part about Ossan's Love that impresses me is how the show gets better each time they come back. There are things that are kind of yikes in the short that are tweaked out in the first show. There are things that they retooled Haruta and Kurosawa over in the airport season. And then, in the most recent season, Ossan's Love Returns, they've shifted where the focus of their storytelling is after everything that's going on. So we are seeing the same characters, but they're dealing with much different dynamics.
So, Ossan's Love Returns was a completely acceptable point for a lot of people to jump on, and I almost just jumped on. But, I like to know how we got here. So I was like, “I must watch all of this first!” [laughs]
NiNi
I was about to say on what point were you ever gonna just jump on without going back into the before times? You, sir, are a historian and a completionist.
Ben
Of course. And so I went back and watched.
Twig, since you didn't have a lot of people to talk about Ossan's Love with at the time, how about you talk about your impressions of Haruta, Maki, and Kurosawa when you first engaged with it?
Twig
The thing that stuck with me is that, even in 2018, it felt a little more queer than a lot of the other stuff I was watching alongside it at the time. Haruta and Maki, and all of the characters, play into that in different ways. Haruta is an extremely frustrating character. I just wanted to reach through the screen and strangle him through most of season one, and I think that's partially intentional.
Haruta is set up as the literal straight man. He's there to be what your average straight guy reaction might be when confronted with gayness, and everyone around him literally slaps him and tells him he's being an idiot. Delightful, but it doesn't make the character himself very likable at first. The fact that he grows on you anyway, even while he's being so frustrating, speaks to the other strengths in his character: his kindness, and the way he values his coworkers. And I think the later seasons did a really good job of picking up the things that made Haruta such a great character, and enforcing that in the character writing itself to make him more likable overall.
I loved Kurosawa from jump. I think he's [laughs] incredible. He lives life on 11, and I think watching an older man step through some of the more standard romance tropes very clumsily but earnestly is incredibly charming.
Maki is the competent character. He's also a self-actualized gay man. He at no point questions his sexuality at all, has no crisis about it. He knows who he is and what he's attracted to. And that was also really refreshing for BL at the time.
NiNi
Describing the kind of character that Kurosawa is made me think of Ben describing characters like Shin from Minato's Laundromat. When you tend to see these younger characters who are full on gung-ho chasing after the ones that they like, people like that. But they don't like the boss because they don't think their character should be doing that.
Twig
When I was first telling Ben about my opinions about the show, I said one of the things I struggle with is whether Kurosawa is telling the joke or is the joke. I think the more I have watched and rewatched, especially in later seasons, they do a really good job of him being a funny character and we're not laughing at him. He's not the butt of the joke, he's just funny. The people who would be turned off by an old guy hitting on a younger guy no matter what were turned off by that character and the ones who were sympathetic to older men also having romance in their lives were turned off by the idea that it was a comedy.
Ben
The comedy in the way Kurosawa pursues Haruta is about the age gap, not the fact that he's an old man. It's that he's at a different stage of his life. He's not fumbling to figure out stuff, he knows what he wants and his time is limited, so he's pursuing it determinately and also because he's older, he's behaving in line with his generation.
Like, if you don't have friends who are more than 10 years older than you, sometimes you're going to get weirded out by their cultural stuff. Like right now, I'm reaching the age gap with some of the kids I tutor, and I had to deal with all the various iterations on rizz and I don’t like it.
[Twig and NiNi laugh]
I had an 8 year old call himself The Rizzler the other day and I almost pushed him down.
Twig
Oh no.
NiNi
Oh my God.
Ben
I understand the concern around Kurosawa. But that is not what I think the show is doing, and even if it accidentally does it, that is not the show’s intent. Haruta is dealing with the sudden shift in his relationships with men who are important to him. Maki was just like his friend and colleague, who he was low-key mooching off of to do housework for him, and he has to deal with the fact that the only reason Maki is willing to put up with him is because Maki likes him. With Kurosawa, a big part of their relationship is the fact that he respects and admires him so much. The relationship between them is very paternal in a lot of ways?
Twig
A mentorship.
Ben
Yeah, he sees Kurosawa as a respected mentor and Kurosawa respects Haruta as well as a valued member of his team. A big part of the show is them sorting out the way that affection complicates some of these relationships, and we as the audience have to struggle with why these men like this man. Haruta is fucking useless in the household. He may be good at his job, but he is horrible at house related stuff. And so the question is why would anyone want him?
And this is not rhetorical for the show. They really want you to grapple with this. The fact that Haruta is kind of repulsive as a romantic interest is something the show wants you to think about. You have to work to understand why so many people are into Haruta, and I think this gets better overtime.
Twig
They do a really good job with all of the women characters in this show, which was super rare for the time and still worth saying. His best friend Chizu also is terrible at housework, but she's a woman, and so she's struggling with the expectation that she get married and she keeps talking about how she needs to find somebody who does for her what Haruta’s men are willing to do for him. I just love putting those two characters side by side. And the silent question that's asked of the audience. That's like, why is this okay for Haruta, but not for Chizu.
Ben
It's not really subtle. As the show goes on, Maki won't really commit to Haruta because Haruta is ostensibly straight. Maki is hesitant about full committing because it's hard to be gay, like you got a lot to face as a gay person and he doesn't know that Haruta is going to stand up to all that. He's kind of a waffly type of dude. He's kind of a people pleaser who won't really stand up to anyone. This is kind of good for him as a salesperson. It's obvious why all their clients like Haruta. But it makes him kind of unreliable as a partner because you're not certain he's going to hold ground with you when the world is telling you that you shouldn't be together.
The first season ends on a really cool note, ‘cause Maki and Haruta break up and Haruta just falls apart. And Kurosawa moves in with him for a while to help take care of him. For Kurosawa, it's a romantic thing, but it very much feels like someone’s parent going to take care of their kid. Haruta recognized where he failed with Maki, and he starts trying to help out with house stuff a little bit. But it's not like he suddenly becomes like a great housekeeper. I really liked that choice, that he starts putting in an effort but he's still horrible at it.
Kurosawa ends up proposing to Haruta. Haruta has a hard time saying no to people, so he accepts. Also, he used a flash mob. It's hard to say no when someone flash mobs you.
NiNi
Pause. Pause for cause.
Twig
Michael Jackson-themed flash mob.
NiNi
Okay, not pausing. Unpausing. Go ahead.
Ben
Kurosawa is always at 11. He is an incredible character and like he and Haruta are going to get married and at the altar, Kurosawa is like. You need to go to him. You don't actually want to be here. And so Haruta runs to Maki and proposes to him at the end of the first season.
And then there's just an incredible supporting cast in the show. I don't think we have time to talk about all of them properly, but. Haruta’s friend Chizu’s older brother Teppei runs a little bar diner that they often hang out at. He's so funny, always giving them weird gross food combinations to try out. They’re’s Maro, who's a member of their team who did not know Haruta’s given name for the years they worked together, there's Maika, who's kind of a nosy busybody at their work. She's a great source of comedy, ends up with Teppei. There's Takegawa, who's the second at their office in the first season, who is revealed to be Maki’s ex later. And he is intense as hell and becomes a complicating factor in the budding relationship between Haruta and Maki because he challenges Haruta. He's like, why is he putting this much effort into you? You suck! I really love the Takegawa character because he is a hot mess.
Twig
He just is so pained at Maki falling for a straight man. Something that is deeply relatable for anybody in queer spaces. [NiNi laughs] Like we have all been that person. Like, what are you doing to yourself?
Ben
I want to nod to Choko real quick. In the first season, Kurosawa has a wife of 30 years. Her name is Choko. Once his feelings for Haruta become known to Haruta, he decides he's going to pursue them and he tells this to his wife and they get divorced. She is understandably upset about this whole situation. But what's so great about it is, the show allows her to have a journey of figuring out what her life is going to be now that this information is out there. Like, she was hurt and upset at first, but then decides to support Kurosawa because this is her partner of 30 years and she understands him, so she ends up eventually supporting what he's trying to do with Haruta. And she ends up developing her own relationship with Maro.
It's really cool in this show where there's this whole complicated thing about whether or not these three gay men are going to sort themselves out into various relationship configurations, they're also doing a pretty steep successful age gap romance between like a 30-something year old man and a woman approaching 60.
Twig
I love Choko's arc so much. It's the one thing that stayed with me the most. She is also allowed to be funny. She's silly and immature in the same ways that the male characters are. She's not perfect either. And I think that is super important that she's a complicated character.
I think it's really important that this show talks about the ways in which homophobia and being in the closet hurts everyone, not just gay people. I think this show does a good job of at least alluding to the fact that the hurt that's caused by people having to live lies makes waves in communities.
NiNi
I like when they put that on older characters, as well. There's so much to unpack when you're talking about a life lived in the closet, emerging from a life lived in the closet later on in life. What you're gonna do with that life and how you're gonna treat it. From what you guys are saying about Kurosawa, it’s like he just decided to take life by the balls once he came out of the closet, and that's always something that I enjoy seeing.
Ben
I guess, well, on some of the negatives. The humor is choppy in the first season. You do have to recalibrate as you're watching. It is very funny, but in ways that are unexpected. You will end up feeling a sense of revulsion in the show, particularly to season one Haruta. When I started going back to it, I had a difficult time with the first episode because I'm asking myself why would anyone want to fuck this man? [NiNi and Twig laugh] That is a real and valid reaction that you have to work with as you're watching the show. And so parts of it are a little bit difficult to watch in that regard.
And Kurosawa is a huge character. You have to take time to get to know him and understand him and understand where his behaviors are coming from. And if you're not willing to do that work, the show is super off putting.
Twig
It is loud. You do have to allow your comedy ear to calibrate to its shouting.
Ben
However, I will say that if you want to see romance in BL about older characters, Ossan’s Love is right there. The entire drama is about 30-somethings and much older dealing with life and love. There is no wistful stuff about “things were easier when we were kids” in this show at all. It is very much grounded in the perspective and dramas that people in their 30s and 40s and 50s are dealing with in life and romance.
Twig
I feel like the one other thing that I always feel the need to call out about the first season is Haruta, because of what his character is struggling with, is physically uncomfortable with displays of affection, and particularly with kissing, in the first season. And that can be off putting too, but he makes it clear verbally that he's not actually against physical affection, he's just familiar with it? It is one of the things that the show does better later on.
00:28:23 - Love or Dead and In The Sky
Ben
Let's talk about the movie! Ossan’s Love: Love or Dead.
Twig
[laughs] Every time I think about that title, it makes me laugh, ‘cause it's just so extra.
NiNi
I'm sorry, Love or Dead?
Ben
Mhmm.
Twig
Oh yeah.
Ben
The premise of this movie is at the end of season one, Haruta got an opportunity to go work in Shanghai for about six months, and the guys are going to be facing a separation for a bit. There's drama when Maki goes to pick up Haruta ‘cause he's found in a compromising position, and a big part of this is Maki still dealing with his anxiety around whether or not Haruta can be a partner to him. Maki gets selected to be part of this high-powered real estate team, and there's a bunch of drama that unfolds involving a partnership with a drug peddling organization and then we end on like an action note where they have to rescue Haruta from a burning building.
Twig
There are explosions.
Ben
Lots of explosions.
NiNi
This sounds… delightful. This sounds like exactly my kind of crack.
Ben
You should watch it sincerely.
Twig
It is delightful.
Ben
If you're not certain about Ossan’s Love, legit, watching Ossan’s Love: Love or Dead is not a terrible place to start. It's a two-hour outing that covers the basic ground of the franchise, has some really strong moments, and is super cracked out.
What's so fun in it is, we talk about the retooling of the characters. In season one, Maki and Kurosawa beef a lot over Haruta and legit get into physical brawls over it. This is a feature of the entire franchise. These men scrap on the regular. There's this great moment when they're trying to rescue Haruta from this building where Kurosawa's role as their mentor comes through and he reads Maki about how he's always holding back in the relationship. That's what I think works for me the most in this franchise, the collective love that everyone has for each other. It's true that Kurosawa is not going to succeed as a romantic rival to Maki in this story, but that doesn't mean that he's not important to everyone and everything going on. And I really, truly love that.
Twig
His mentorship relationship with Maki really starts to flourish in the movie, the moment where Maki’s hanging off of a ledge and Kurosawa is helping him physically back onto the ledge so he doesn’t fall into the flames, but also verbally telling him what he needs to do to save his relationship. This movie is not subtle with its metaphors. But it's such a good moment where we realize that Kurosawa plays that role for Maki, too, of a mentor, and that he's willing to do it for the relationship, even at the same time as being a love rival. And it sets up the new season really well.
Ben
The movie matters to the timeline of the series. The movie is not just some sort of one off moment that occurs. The events of the movie are built into the characters, and it was the beginning of them retooling how these characters function.
NiNi
This sounds like a very experimental type of series, just the way that they do different things each time. While they are refining their central characters and the central storylines, they're also experimenting with style and tone, and a number of other things it feels like?
Twig
I think that's really true. One of the things about the movie that's really fun is it's the first instance of sports in the series. We get Justice playing basketball with Haruta and working his feelings out through basketball.
Ben
JUSTICE!!! [Twig and Ben laugh]
Twig
Love and peace! And that becomes a huge part of the AU and also part of Ossan’s Love Returns that I think really adds to the experience. They try things out and then if it works, they pick it up and add and yes, and it, and then they pull out the things that didn't really work. I find that really interesting to watch happen.
NiNi
The concept of something being iterative like that in real time, it's not for everybody.
Ben
This series went on to do something super experimental where a couple of months after they released a continuation movie promising that these characters would get back together, they released an alternative universe season where only Haruta and Kurosawa were present from the original cast, and now we're at an airport dealing with a completely different set of characters and a slightly different dynamic.
It also gave Twig and I our favorite bit.
Twig
[laughs] Dispatch! 👍
Ben
Dispatch! 👍 Oh my God. It is so funny, every single time.
NiNi
Every time.
Ben
Every episode has at least two dispatch moments. [Twig laughs] It's so fucking funny.
Twig
Sometimes it's to end a conversation. Sometimes it's to greet somebody, sometimes it's to shut down a conversation, distract from someone saying something you don’t want them to say.
Ben
So in this particular season, Kurosawa is still a leader. He is the captain of a flight crew. Haruta is a new flight attendant who is joining this team. In this case, Kurosawa is not Haruta’s long-term mentor who has been harboring a crush on him. He develops his crush in real time. Haruta moves into company housing and there's a slightly older guy there who's got a crush on Haruta, but he won't say anything about it. And then there's the meanest twink who's ever existed in BL.
NiNi
I mean y'all just seem to be giving me multiple reasons to watch this show at this point, so.
Ben
So in the second season, there's far more complicated people in the Haruta stuff. There's Kaname who is the older mechanic who lives in the dorms, and he's got this huge crush on Haruta, but he'll never say anything about it. Naruse is causing fucking problems all the time, because every time he has relationship drama and people show up at their airport to fuck with him about it, he just starts kissing Haruta to make people go away. And then people throw drinks in Haruta’s face over it. Because Tanaka Kei is a master of physical comedy.
Twig
One of the staples of the series is what I call the Haruta reaction supercut, where they just have multiple cuts of Haruta’s face as it morphs into more and more absurd huh, no, whaaa faces. He does bend his body in ways that's like a cartoon falling over, it's pretty incredible.
NiNi
Ben knows that I love physical comedy.
Twig
Yoshida Kotaro has incredible physical comedy, too.
Ben
Like if you ever want to see an old man try and kill an aging twink [Twig laughs], this is the show for you.
I get why people who liked the first show bounced off of this, because the rest of the cast is gone. The supporting cast is a really strong part of the Ossan’s Love experience, but I really like the AU season because I think it allowed them to retool Haruta and Kurosawa. And retool the relationship between them to make it more about their mentorship. They're building that relationship in the AU season ‘cause they don't know each other.
Twig
The thing that I really like about the AU setup is because Haruta is coming into a new environment, we get to see him build his network of people around him over the course of the season. Showing us what's likable about Haruta because he has to charm all these people around him in order to get friends and build a community, is a really important piece of the puzzle that allowed me to get to like that character a lot more, because he was charming me at the same time.
Ben
We get a lot of great moments in the season. Kurosawa has been a pilot for 30 years and he decides to retire and everyone is sad about it. I'm sad about it, Twig is crying about it.
Twig
Mmhm.
Ben
He ends up inviting the three guys who we've mentioned out to hang out in the park with him. He has this sumo tournament with them where he's basically giving them the last bit of advice he's going to give them and it is, one of the most intensely emotional man moments I have had in this genre. I was losing it and I was crying. I was hollering and screaming, messaging Twig like, “Wake up, I need to talk about this right now, I don't care what you're doing. Get up.”
Truly, it is one of the best moments in TV about the relationships between men that I have ever experienced, and it is this hyper ridiculous sumo wrestling moment in a gay romance drama in the AU season that is technically not canon, and it was the moment from the series that lingers with me the most.
Twig
Even in the moment they're looking at each other like, is this happening? How is this happening? This isn't real. Nobody does this. Nobody calls each other to the side of the river with a note [laughs] to hold a wrestling competition in which we talk about our feelings.
Ben
But it works really well. I ended up really loving the way it allowed us to think about these two men and the relationship between them. We get to appreciate how important Kurosawa is to Haruta.
Twig
That sumo wrestling moment allows us to see Kurosawa's relationships with all of his subordinates. The way he's so firm and so gentle with Naruse, with like “soft landing,” meanwhile, throws Haruta out of the ring.
Ben
The way he talks to all of these men as specific to them, like his role as leader is strongest in the AU season. My primary concern for the Thai adaptation is who is playing Kurosawa, because this character is as important as the romantic leads.
Twig
I think it's more important.
Ben
I am with Twig. Who is going to match Yoshida Kotaro in Thailand? I need to know.
Twig
I'm eagerly awaiting that announcement.
NiNi
The answer is going to be Nu Surasak or Kob Songsit.
Ben
I really hope it's good.
00:39:00 - Ossan’s Love Returns
Ben
Ossan's Love Returns reunites the original cast after five years. Maki is returning from an extended stint in Singapore, and now he and Haruta are gonna start their cohabitating married life together. Maki is now part of the super team at headquarters, following up on the movie. Haruta is still on the streets with regular folk, ‘cause that's where he wants to be. Kurosawa has retired, I liked that follow up from the AU season. And now he's working as a housekeeper. Maki is working too much and Haruta is still bad at house, and so they hire a housekeeper, who ends up being Kurosawa [Twig laughs] who cannot hold back his feelings for Haruta and it becomes one of the ongoing dramas of the season.
One of the things I enjoyed in this season is… they explore how to integrate Kurosawa into their lives long term. Haruta is serious about Maki and committed to their romance. Kurosawa is also extremely important to him and he treats him like a father figure. They explicitly have Choko talk to Kurosawa about how a lot of the ways he feels [laugh] about Maki are a lot of the ways a mother-in-law might feel about their daughter-in-law with the way they beef with each other. And when we say they beef with each other, I mean, these two men are legit fighting in their kitchen, like Kurosawa hits Maki in the head repeatedly with a frying pan. Maki legit throws Kurosawa through a door at one point and knocks it off the hinges. These two men, when they scrap with each other, are fighting for real and I love it every time.
NiNi
It's just like you all conspired to come into this recording booth today and just be like, okay, so you say this and I'll say that and between us we're gonna get her to watch this, because she likes this kind of stuff.
Ben
I didn't really have to work that hard. We're just legit talking about what the show was doing. We get a really great season of Maki and Haruta settling into what their life is going to look like. There's some introduced new characters in the season that we all had very complicated feelings about who I think end up fitting fine by the end. Most of the original cast comes back and there's like a really great bit of exploring what all these characters settling into their relationships that they got into in the first season in this one.
So Haruta and Maki are now living together and figuring out what that is going to look like, who are they gonna be as a couple now that they're not doing long distance ‘cause they've basically been long distance between every outing. Which I think was a clever choice because it means that the characters’ relationship dynamic doesn't really move that much between outings.
Choko is now living with Maro and Maro’s mom, and Choko is struggling because she's older than Maro's mom. She can't just treat this woman like her mother-in-law. And Maro doesn't know how to help because he's caught between his wife, who's way older than him, and his mom, who's confused and a little bit uncertain about this whole dynamic.
Twig
I also love that that's not the only thing we see Choko having worked through in the time we've been apart from her. She opened an archery range after her divorce, and sort of reinvented herself with this new life that she's actually thriving in.
Ben
They get new neighbors who are a bunch of weirdos.
Twig
[laughs] They're so weird. They're so weird.
Ben
These two are revealed to be members of, like, a public security division that maybe doesn't actually exist. Izumi ends up becoming obsessed with Haruta because he's a doppelganger for his dead lover who was killed in the line of duty, who is very, very different from Haruta. It was fun to see Tanaka Kei play a very different type of character in those flashbacks. I don't know that it entirely landed for me over the course of the season, but by the finale, which was fantastic, I was okay with them.
Twig
A large part of the way they were written is that they were a mystery for a large part of it, too. It's hard to bond with a character that you know nothing about and is intentionally opaque.
Ben
Chizu is trying to make it as a single mom and this reinforces one of the big themes of the season, that family is all the people who are going to show up for you all the time. She relies on Teppei and Maika to help, and she feels guilty about this and they tell her straight up, like, don't feel guilty. We are a family. You should rely on us.
She had already made Haruta and Maki designated adults who can pick up her kid from the daycare. An important gay right of passage is your friend calling you and telling you I need you to go pick up my kid, and then you show up at said kindergarten to pick up a kid and they look at your ID and they go “oh you're allowed” and the kid runs to you and everybody goes, well, that makes sense. An important gay moment that everyone must experience.
Twig
One of the things that I love about this so much is that it picks up from a throw away line that Chizu says in the movie. She sort of brags that she's going to balance having a kid and her career. One of the things about the series is that it really feels like the people who are writing it love the whole series and are constantly thinking about how to call back in loving ways and how to pick up threads in loving ways. Something that she just sort of confidently stated she was going to do no problem in the movie becomes a whole plot in the following season.
Ben
There's a final arc in the season where Kurosawa has a health scare where we think he's going to die.
Twig
When we were talking about it, Ben, you said that it was an important moment for Maki and Haruta to confront the idea that Kurosawa won't always be around. And I was like, oh, that's why I don't like this part because I don't want to ever think about that. [Twig and Ben laugh]
Ben
The entire finale is this really great examination about the way this whole group of people are a family to each other.
Twig
It's not even just that it's happening, but they're explicit about it. They're having conversations about what is family? What are we to each other? How do we define our relationship? Where do those lines get drawn? And the answer is just sort of, yes.
Ben
There's an explicit line, like, what is Kurosawa to them? And then Maika comes over and hammers it home for the audience and is like, “There's no need to describe it. What matters is you all are going to be part of each other's lives forever.”
00:45:33 - Final Thoughts and Ratings
Ben
I don't think we talked about it as much. So, the first season is pretty light on kissing and intimacy between the male characters. Ossan's Love Returns is not! There's so much married intimacy between Haruta and Maki.
Twig
The casual intimacy in Ossan's Love Returns is constant, and it just feels very lived in? They're just constantly touching each other and having small kisses and teasing each other.
Ben
We got more of that today in the unexpected special spin-offs we're getting. I was like “ohh, I thought we were done. Oh, it's another cute little 20-minute office episode ending on the two of them making out next to the copier.” Love it.
NiNi
This is called Forbidden Gout Temps Nouveau.
Twig
Mhmm.
NiNi
I have so many questions, but I feel like I should not ask those questions right now.
Ben
My general attitude is you don't need to watch all of Ossan's Love to enjoy parts of Ossan's Love. I think if you are interested in gay domesticity and complex family units, you can just watch Ossan's Love Returns right away.
NiNi
I'm watching it all. Eventually. I don't know when. There's a lot going on in the IRL space right now, but I'm gonna be watching the whole thing.
Twig
I feel like I should say something about the original short. It has a lot of the things that people found the hardest to swallow about season one. A lot of the stuff that they did originally they fixed or did better as they moved through. I would say the short is the thing to skip, of all of it, unless you're really curious about the journey of this franchise.
NiNi
I'm really fascinated by the idea of this as a reserve process of working through and refining the show in kind of a real time. I would like to see the whole thing just for that purpose. I'm a writer, so the way that this feels like multiple drafts, and you getting to actually see the multiple drafts to see why they might have decided to make a particular change in the next draft, or why they would have gone for an overhaul, or what would they have tweaked around the edges. I like the idea of looking at that.
Twig
It is not just the writing that they iterate. We haven't talked a lot about the visual effects that this show uses, but it has its own style. One of my favorites: it uses the bokeh effect, where the lighting in the background is blurred and sometimes takes shapes. It starts from the very beginning. You'll see the lights behind Kurosawa make little hearts while he's confessing to Haruta and Haruta’s has little like stop signs. [Ben laughs] And then they get bigger and bigger with that where Kurosawa’s hearts have little like heartbreak. They have– there’s little, like, zigzags in the hearts behind him when he gets rejected. Sometimes he'll be crying tear lights. That’s just one of the things that they play with in the different versions.
Ben
Naruse having that whole tantrum trying to get someone's attention for help? Then having that super cut of them screaming and then smash cutting to them just sitting at the table. There's like the courtroom audio stinger that dominates the first season that I fucking love [mimics the sound] thing that happens over the course of the whole season. It's so, so dramatic, and I'm like, “Is Judge Mathis gonna walk out? What is happening?”
Twig
Oh, and they do this thing where they hard cut to a visual metaphor like water leaking out of a water bottle or a pot boiling to represent the character’s emotions. There's so many visual moments. It's not just written well and acted well. It's also represented visually really well, and seeing how they experiment with that and how that changes. Like, the weird bobble heads we got in the AU season. I'm still not over those. I'm glad those didn't return.
Ben
It is not a perfect show. This is not a “Everybody was wrong. They should have watched all of this. Grab your pitchfork!” situation. This is not an easy show to love. If you can find your way to loving the show, I think it has been one of the most rewarding watches I've had in the genre since What Did You Eat Yesterday?
Japanese BL is different from Thai BL. More experimental and weirder things are gonna happen over time if the series has a lot of leg in it, and Ossan's Love is one of those that has so much leg in it. Like the second season just ended, and I'd be okay if we don't see them again, but, I really hope we do.
Twig
Me too.
NiNi
All right, so let's get into ratings. I mean, is this the kind of thing that you rate? Instead of rating, let's rank. If you had to rank the different parts of the Ossan's Love franchise, how would you rank them? In terms of, for you, most enjoyable to probably the least enjoyable?
Ben
Well, the least enjoyable is the original special. It's the most rough and the hardest to swallow. I think the best season is the current one?
Twig
Yeah. I mean, for me, it's basically chronological order, I think. I struggle between the film and the AU ‘cause I like them for different reasons, and I struggled with them for different reasons. But I think Naruse tips it over there so that it stays ahead.
Ben
[Ben and Twig laugh] I love that mean twink!
Twig
He's just so great.
Ben
I don't know that I'd want to���rank them that way. I think each outing adds something to it. It's really a question of, do you like seeing people try to get together for the first time, or do you really like seeing people be together? For me, I'm very partial to Ossan's Love Returns because it's about gay life drama, which is what I’ve wanted for a while. And so I'm really fucking enjoying that.
Twig
Yeah, I love it when people have to figure out, “Now that we're in this relationship, how do we make this work?”
Ben
But I also love the AU season. I think the retooling of Haruta and Kurosawa is actually really helpful. I think taking a break from Maki is actually helpful for appreciating Haruta when you come back to them. I think you end up liking Haruta more by the time you get to Ossan's Love Returns and seeing the potential in him. The love people are trying to pour on to him in the current season is more accessible to me as a viewer because I got to spend time with Haruta growing to love him in the AU season.
Twig
I also just have affection for an entire season that seems to have basically been built off of like a throwaway reference to episode one, when Haruta says he's most attracted to stewardesses. And then, and also, like, maybe a pun because Kurosawa’s character is called bucho which means, like, manager essentially through all of the regular Ossan's Love stories. But in the AU he's kucho because he's a captain. And I think that's very funny.
Ben
In terms of my ratings, I'm looking at on MDL, I gave Ossan's Love and Ossan's Love Returns a 9. But I gave the AU season a 9.5. [Ben and Twig laugh] So, there's your answer.
Twig
There you go.
Ben
Twig, what did you rate the second season? I know ratings aren't always your thing, but did you give the second season a rating?
Twig
I didn't. If I was going to give it a rating. Ossan's Love Returns? Yeah, I’d give it a 9.
Ben
It's a 9 for me in that I think if you're into BL, you should watch the show, but I don't know that it is the most accessible show, so I don't want to give it a 10.
Twig
I think the thing about this show, too, is it's about multiple relationships. It's not just about Maki and Haruta, and I wouldn't even say their relationship dominates the story. So, to rank it against other BL as a romance narrative is quite difficult. It's about family and what that means in a queer context. Part of that is romance, but it's not even the biggest part? The family feels is what gets me about this series.
Ben
That's going to do it for Ossan's Love. We have succeeded at our mission. NiNi has agreed to watch the show. Twig and I got to unpack the entirety of this whole franchise. We have the benefit of knowing it gets better over time now, and so I don't begrudge people bouncing when they did in 2018. I think that in 2024, it is beneficial for people who care about the history of the genre to go back and properly engage with Ossan's Love. I genuinely think it is worth reconsidering your initial opinion. They… grow. Their characters are not static. What has occurred is taken seriously and what worked and didn't work is considered as they move forward.
NiNi
That is going to wrap us up on the Ossan's Love episode. Twig, it was so great having you on, and I hope you come back.
Twig
Thank you so much for having me. It was really fun.
NiNi
With that, we out. Say bye to the people, Twig.
Twig
Dispatch!👍
Ben
Dispatch! 👍
NiNi
At some point I'm going to find out what that means, and then I will be unstoppable. Say bye to the people, Ben.
Ben
Peace.
#ossan's love returns#ossan's love#ben and nini's conversations#podcast#lgbtq#the conversation#on art#thai bl#bl series#japanese bl#spring series#spring 2024
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Byler Fics List: the Grown-ups
I adore Stranger Things adult characters, here are some fics where they play an important part:
Until you wake up by Roxhylee
Will is in a coma and Mike visits him every day.
This one has some of the most thoughtful Ted-and-Mike chapters and an interesting take on Ted <3
Wedding at the End of the World (What do We Have to Lose?) by Julia_Skysong
"Hang on, hang on," Jonathan interrupted, frowning slightly. "Let me do the math here. You've only been a…thing, for like a few days? And you want to get married?"
"Dude, you're gonna get a new step-dad! Argyle cheered, trying to high five him.
"Please for the love of GOD let me officiate this," Murray cackled.
OR Joyce and Hopper decide to have a spontaneous wedding at the end of the world and help their kids figure out love and life.
Bananas and Closure by @tired-bisexual-brainrot
Hopper runs into Diane while at the store. He invites her over for dinner, and she finds out that he now has a whole family with three kids and a wife.
No Cure for Queer by AlabasterInk (@alabasterswriting)
Will Byers had about thirty minutes between realizing that the butterflies in his stomach came from appreciating Mike’s smile a little too much, to walking into his house and hearing Hopper say, “…wrong, Joyce. A guy with another guy. We used to arrest queers, you know…”
And it all went downhill from there.
california show your teeth by @fireflywitch
Fourteen months after a rash of unexplained disappearances tore an Indiana town apart, a new chief of police and his very normal, nothing-to-see-here family moves to Hawkins from Lenora Hills, California.
"I wondered what it would be like if the Byers, El, and Hopper had grown up in Lenora Hills instead of Hawkins and moved to Indiana later on - how things would be different and what things would stay the same and which characters might be better off or worse off…"
for Claudia and the Moms <3
You May Be the One Place I'm Sure About by elsie (the_technorats)
the one where Joyce Byers and Jim Hopper finally have a moment to themselves.
no byler here but you should read it all the same ;)
mom, i'm gay. wait, you are too? by dragons_like_smores @howtobecomeadragon
“What if there are no men out there for me, Michael?”
Mike, not focused at all on his mom, said absentmindedly, “Then maybe you can just date a woman.”
Or: Mike unintentionally starts Karen's lesbian awakening while he simps for his boyfriend, Will, all summer long.
poor old jim's white as a ghost by AttaboyLuther
Even when he started on the force back in 1980… Jim Hopper knew there was something special between William Byers and that brat Mike Wheeler.
(AKA: Mike and Will fall in love, told through the perspective of one Chief Hopper)
and if you wanna cry or fall apart (i'll be there to hold you) by Strangerangels
Mike Wheeler and his relationship with Will Byers, as told by Joyce Byers.
Inspired by that scene in S2 where Mike holds Joyce and leads her into the car. Y'know, the one where Bob dies. You just know Mike is going to be the best in-law Joyce will ever have.
The Darkest Eyes by @light-lanterne
a semi canon-compliant character study of mike wheeler, his unaddressed trauma and his relationship with will byers, told through the eyes of a very tired jim hopper who can’t help but to become attached to the boy who keeps dating his children.
The Right Thing by Nymphadoragreenleaf
The second pregnancy was a mistake. They were basically at breaking point with only Jonathan and Lonnie didn’t want to have to work even more when he had already fulfilled his side of the bargain. He married her and they had a kid. What more did they expect from him (or Lonnie pov)
Benny's also by Nymphadoragreenleaf
Officer Powell grimaces “The trespasser… he’s- chief it’s your misses youngest- the one who went missing a few years back.” (or Hopper pov)
some more Hopper:
it's me, hi (everybody agrees) by @livsindelusion
or 5 Times Mike Gets The Shovel Talk and 1 Time It's Will
and some Joyce!
can't hold out forever by scorchstorm
five times that others noticed how mike felt + the one time that will did.
Have fun reading :)
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Let It Snow
[Hwang Hyunjin x Han Jisung x Fem!reader]
Pairing: Han Jisung x Hwang Hyunjin x Fem!Reader
Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst
Summary: Floor 3 of the Holy-Ivy building is known for three things: Han Jisung, Hwang Hyunjin and their never ending arguments with one another. As their floormate it is absolutely painful to have to listen to them going at it every time they bump into each other, but you'll finally get a reprieve when you go home for Christmas. Until your apartment block gets snowed in, the power goes out and now you have an arguing Hyunjin and Jisung in your apartment...great.
Warnings: smut, sub!reader, dom!Hyunjin, dom!Jisung, bisexual!Hyunjin, bisexual!Jisung, arguing, oral (fem recieving), cumming sort of untouched in the cases of both Hyunjin and Jisung, no actual sex, swearing, dirty talk, yelling, polyamory, past relationships and past break-ups, black outs, snowstorms, getting snowed in, Hyunjin and Jisung are dumb and don’t know how to communicate, reader gets called baby and angel, Hyunjin gets called baby once, Chan gets indirectly called old and the poor guy isn't even there to defend himself
General Taglist: @hiseu @yeosayang @avyskai @whatudowhennooneseesyou @foxdaisy @lickslixie @maskedmochiii
Part of the Holly Jolly Christmas series
Series Masterlist
Ah Sunday mornings. Nothing to do, no one to go see. Just you, your soft white sheets and the small slither of sunlight shining through your window as the suggestion of morning began to make itself known.
"What the fuck is your problem Jisung?"
You groaned as the peace of your Sunday morning was abruptly ended by the loud voice of your neighbour, Hwang Hyunjin, yelling at your other neighbour, Han Jisung.
This was not an uncommon occurrence, in fact, you'd actually be more surprised if they stopped fighting. They didn't always dislike each other, according to one of the other Holly-Ivy residents, Lee Felix, but they had been fighting ever since you had moved in and you were sure would continue fighting long after you had gone.
"What is my problem? What is your problem Hyunjin?" You groaned again as Jisung's loud yell responded to Hyunjin's and you realised they were once again, arguing right outside your door. Forcing yourself to get out of bed, you stomped to your front door, not caring about the fact that you were still in your pajamas and threw open your door, startling both men.
"Y/n!" Hyunjin smiled at you, leaning against your doorway. "Good morning."
"Mm, it was, until I woke up to the sounds of my neighbours arguing right outside my door."
Jisung, to his credit, had the sense to look sheepish, casting his eyes to the ground. "Sorry y/n, we didn't mean to wake you."
"It's fine," you sighed softly, tilting Jisung's chin up so he would look at you again. "I should probably get a start on packing anyway." You squished Jisung's cheek gently, making him laugh. Hyunjin briefly rolled his eyes at Jisung, muttering something which sounded suspiciously like 'simp,' before turning his focus back on you.
"Pack? Why? Where are you going?"
"I'm going to my parents' for Christmas."
"Oh," there was a tinge of sadness to Jisung's voice and catching it only served to make Hyunjin roll his eyes again. "When?"
"I'm leaving tomorrow and I'll be back on the 27th."
"What are we going to do without you for five days angel?" There was a purr to Hyunjin's voice as he spoke the pet name and it made you shiver slightly.
"Try not to kill each other? I'm sure you'll find ways to entertain yourselves."
"But if you're not here," Hyunjin was pouting now, "who's gonna stop me and Sungie from fighting?" Jisung looked disgusted at the pet name but you caught the slight red tinge to his cheeks. Rolling your eyes at Hyunjin, you removed your hand from Jisung's cheek to pat Hyunjin's.
"Go see Felix baby. Or just be nice to each other, I'm sure you can manage for five days. Just don't call me, this is supposed to be my reprieve from you two."
"You need a break from us?" Jisung looked sad at the idea and you sighed softly, shaking your head.
"No Sung, just from the arguments. I like you both very much."
"But you like me more right?" You rolled your eyes at Jisung's question and shook your head.
"No. I like you both the same. Now, not that I wouldn't like to stand in my doorway all day in my pyjamas, but I have things to do. So, I'll see you both later." Before you could close the door, Hyunjin grabbed your wrist, pulling you close to him, Jisung watching the interaction with his jaw set in a mix of jealousy, anger and something else he couldn't quite place.
"Angel, promise you'll come say goodbye before you go?" There was a plea in Hyunjin's voice which you couldn't ignore and you nodded, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek.
"I promise, I'll come say goodbye before I leave tomorrow morning."
Hyunjin seemed satisfied with that answer and nodded, letting you go. You pressed a kiss to Jisung's cheek too before going back inside your apartment, shutting the door behind you and leaning against it with a sigh. You could hear Hyunjin and Jisung's argument starting up again as they walked down that hall and you rolled your eyes, sighing again.
"So much for a peaceful Sunday morning," you sighed, pushing off your door as you made your way into your bedroom to actually start your morning routine.
Your relationship with both Jisung and Hyunjin was odd to say the least.
You had moved into your apartment a year ago, and really couldn't understand why everyone in the building was apologising to you for getting the last apartment on floor three. Until you had met Hyunjin and Jisung at your welcome party. They were both wonderful alone, but when they were together it was a whole different situation. Hyunjin couldn't do anything without setting Jisung off and Jisung couldn't do anything without setting Hyunjin off. Your party had been a disaster and you had spent the afternoon afterwards crying on your couch. You just wanted to make a good first impression to the people in your building and now they would forever know you as the girl whose party was a disaster. You had jumped when the doorbell rung and had been even more surprised to find Jisung standing outside of your door, a bunch of sunflowers in his hand. You had invited him in, he had apologised and eventually Jisung found himself in your bed, apologising to you by fucking you into your mattress. The next day when Hyunjin turned up to apologise too, it went in pretty much the same way, except now you had a bouquet of roses to complement the sunflowers Jisung had brought you the day prior.
Your relationships with the two men had only continued to progress from there, but never into the territory of dating. You had feelings for both of them and didn't think it would be fair to date both of them while they hated each other, it wasn't even on the cards for a conversation. So you stayed as friends, even if you crossed over into flirting territory with them more often than not.
Being your friend did not improve Hyunjin and Jisung's relationship at all, in fact it really only served to make it worse. You just hoped that now they could keep it together long enough to behave while you were away. Or at least enough that you wouldn't receive another phone call from Minho or Seonghwa to 'come collect your boys.'
~
Safe to say your Christmas plans were undeniably ruined.
Blackouts weren't uncommon at the Holly-Ivy around this time of year, but they also weren't uncommon throughout the whole town during this time of year.
What was uncommon however, was the whole apartment building getting snowed in. No one was allowed in, or out and that included you. So now you weren't going home for Christmas, instead lighting scented candles around your apartment for some light, a blanket wrapped around your shoulders and eyes puffy from crying on the phone to your mum when you told her you wouldn't be coming home. You paused as you finished lighting your final candle, ears tuning in to the sound of arguing and scuffling outside of your apartment door. You sighed a little, knowing exactly who to expect and shuffled over to your door, trying not to knock over any candles as you went.
“What are you guys doing here?”
Hyunjin and Jisung both snapped their heads to you, loosening their arms from around each other and standing up straight.
“I just wanted to check on you,” Jisung’s voice softened at the sight of your red eyes. “Make sure you were okay after you couldn’t go home.”
“Bullshit,” Hyunjin snorted. “You’re only here because you knew I would come to check on her.”
“I can have original ideas, you know Hyunjin? Unlike you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I mean whose idea was it to bring y/n flowers when she was upset after the party?”
“The party you ruined.”
“The party you both ruined actually,” you rolled your eyes, tugging on both of their wrists so they entered your apartment. You shut the door behind them and began to walk further into the apartment, Hyunjin and Jisung trailing after you like lost puppies. “But I forgave you both for that, remember? And I liked both bunches of flowers equally.”
“Okay but mine were your favourite right?” Hyunjin rushed to walk next to you, narrowly avoiding a few candles. “I mean roses are so much more romantic than sunflowers.”
You could hear Jisung scoff behind you and you sunk into your couch, Hyunjin and Jisung scrambling to sit either side of you. “No Hyunjin, I liked both bunches equally, I like everything you both do equally.”
“But that’s not possible,” Jisung piped up, leaning his head onto your shoulder. “You have to like one of us more than the other.”
You rolled your eyes, feeling a headache coming on at the thought of having to listen to them bicker any more. “No Jisung, I like you both the same.”
“She’s just saying that because she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings Sungie, we both know I’m her favourite.”
And just like that they were both off again, Jisung lifting his head off your shoulder so that he could argue back to Hyunjin. Your eye twitched in anger and you tried to tune them out, but eventually it just got too much to handle. Jisung and Hyunjin were startled out of their argument by you standing quickly.
“That’s it! I am tired of the two of you and your constant bickering. I don’t even know how it started and I don’t care but it needs to stop. It makes everyone uncomfortable, me especially. I like you both the same, in fact I think I might love you both the same. But I am sick of the two of you fighting over me like I’m some kind of prize to be won, like if one of you gets me then you’re somehow superior over the other. I am not going to be used as a toy in your stupid little feud, I deserve better than that. I’m going to my room, and if you want to see me again you better stop acting like spoiled little children and sort your issues out like adults. I’m done playing mediator.” You turned on your heel, not looking at either of them as you slammed the door to your bedroom. There was a long silence as both Hyunjin and Jisung just watched the space where you had walked away from them, stunned into not speaking. Jisung buried his head in his hands, trying to keep the tears at bay.
“We fucked up.”
Hyunjin’s statement made Jisung let out a muffled laugh into his hands. “For once I agree with you, yeah, we did fuck up.”
“You used to agree with me a lot more Hanji, what happened to us?”
Jisung hadn’t heard that name from Hyunjin’s lips in a long time and he looked up at him, mouth agape. “We broke up.”
Hyunjin snorted, “I suppose we did do that. But I thought we were going to try and still be friends.”
“Yeah until you iced me out Hyunjin. You started acting like you didn’t want to see me at all.”
“Becuase Seungmin told me to back off! He said I was just making things harder for you and that I should stop trying so hard.”
“And you listened to him?”
“Look it wasn’t the best piece of advice I'd ever heard, but when you started snapping at me I thought it had really solidified that you hated me, so I just started snapping back. And then when y/n moved in, I thought it was a good chance to move on, until I went to her place the day after her welcome party to find that you had been there first.”
“You still fucked her,” Jisung pointed out, leaning against the couch. “And I never hated you, not really. Sure I was hurt and angry and I can’t say I don’t find you annoying, but I never hated you. In fact, I might still be kind of in love with you.”
“I never hated you either Sung,” Hyunjin gave Jisung a soft smile. Jisung’s hands twitched at his sides and Hyunjin opened his arms, an invitation Jisung could choose to accept or ignore. Jisung almost tripped over himself rushing into Hyunjin’s arms, practically knocking the wind out of the other with the force at which he collided with Hyunjin’s chest. Hyunjin wrapped his arms around Jisung in a tight hug, willing the tears which were in his eyes to not spill over. He kissed the top of Jisung’s head. “I’m still kind of in love with you too Jisung.” Jisung let out a noise which was half a sob, half a cry of relief and buried his head further into Hyunjin’s chest.
“We really fucked up didn’t we?” Jisung looked up at Hyunjin. “Not just between us but with all our friends too, y/n especially.”
“We did. But, we can always fix it.”
“You think she’ll forgive us?”
“I don’t know, but all we can do is apologise and explain some things about us we both may have neglected to mention.”
Jisung nodded, burying his face back into Hyunjin’s chest “I missed you Jinnie.”
Hyunjin smiled softly, pressing another kiss to the top of Jisung’s head. “I missed you too Sung.”
~
“Are you two ready to behave like adults?” You sounded dissapointed and the tone made both men wince. They nodded and you sighed before allowing them into your bedroom, looking at them expectantly as you sat on your bed. “So, what is it?”
Jisung was fiddling with his fingers anxiously and Hyunjin reached out to grab his hand, instantly relaxing him. You raised your eyes at the sudden new development and it prompted Hyunjin to start speaking.
“We want to apologise for the fighting,” he began. “We never should have involved you into our lover’s spats and we didn’t mean to make you feel like you were just a prize to us, we don’t see you like that.”
“But regardless of our intentions, we still hurt you and we want to apologise for that.” Jisung was looking at you directly as he spoke and you nodded slowly, pausing as you processed their words.
“What do you mean your lover's spats?”
“That’s another thing we need to apologise to you for, we haven't been completely transparent about the nature of our relationship.”
“He means,” Jisung interrupted, rolling his eyes at Hyunjin’s use of complex vocabulary. “We used to date, Hyunjin and I.”
“You what?” You hadn’t meant to have an outburst like that and your eyes widened as the words left your mouth. Jisung and Hyunjin looked at each other in shock before laughing a little bit.
“We used to date,” Hyunjin giggled a bit. “Jisung and I. But we broke up about three months before you moved in.”
“I don’t really know why to be honest. But thanks to some shitty advice from one of our friends Hyunjin started icing me out and I started snapping at him.”
“Which eventually snowballed into whatever the fuck we had going on up until this point. We’re sorry we weren’t more honest with you.”
You nodded slowly and Jisung moved forward, looking nervous. “…Are you going to say anything, you’re kind of freaking me out.”
You chewed on your lip, looking between the two of them “Do you both not have feelings for me then? Was I just some kind of rebound for you?” Both men looked horrified at the suggestion and Hyunjin rushed forward to take your face in his hands, stroking over your cheek softly with his thumb.
“No, angel, you were never just a rebound for either of us.”
“We have feelings for you, romantic feelings. In fact we have all the feelings for you.”
“Eloquent as ever Sung,” Hyunjin rolled his eyes, before looking back to you. “This guy’s one of the best music producers out there and that’s what he comes up with? But he’s right, we have all the feelings for you.”
You giggled a little bit, before glaring at both of them “So you mean to tell me that this whole time I’ve been pining over you separately when I could have been pining over you together? That I could actually have both of you?” Hyunjin and Jisung shared a look.
“Well,” Jisung started, “yes, you can have both of us, we’d actually enjoy that a lot. But Hyunjin and I need a bit of time to work out what a romantic relationship is going to look like between the two of us, so we don’t make the same mistakes as last time.”
“The sexual part of our relationship we’ve got down,” Hyunjin yelped as Jisung swatted him. “But clearly we’ve gotta work on the romance.”
“I don’t think it’ll take long,” Jisung hummed softly, kissing Hyunjin’s cheek. “But we’re not quite ready to go back to being boyfriends yet.”
“I understand, thank you, for being honest with me. I’m happy to wait as long as it takes for you both.”
“Well,” Hyunjin smirked a bit. “You don’t have to wait for us at all.”
“Actually,” Jisung grinned, sitting on the bed next to you, “We’d prefer it if you didn’t.”
“Are you sure?”
Both men nodded and Hyunjin leaned down until his lips were hovering right over your own. “Like I said, Sung and I have the sexual part of our relationship all figured out and, what better time to figure out how you fit into that when we’re all stuck inside until this snow storm passes?”
“That…” you swallowed hard. “That would be a productive use of our time.”
“Exactly,” Jisung purred into your ear, his hands beginning to trail over your body. You had no idea when he had moved, but found yourself not caring about the specifics much, not when his lips and tongue had begun to work themselves over your neck and jaw, Jisung groaning as he sucked little marks into your skin. Hyunjin licked his lips, smirk widening when your eyes flicked to them.
“Can I kiss you angel?” He purred, immediately connecting your lips at your nod. Kissing Hyunjin was like reading a poem, so soft and full of emotion. Some obvious, others hidden beneath the shroud of his soft, plump lips. He tasted sweet and you almost weren’t surprised to find that out. Hyunjin kissed like he was trying to imprint himself in your brain, make you obsessed with him, even though he knew you already were. You gasped against his lips when Jisung began sucking marks into the skin of your neck and Hyunjin chuckled, pulling away.
“Should have warned you angel, Jisung bites.”
“Only when I’m having something particularly tasty,” Jisung laughed, laving his tongue over the most recent mark he’d left on your skin, his artwork painting your skin pretty shades of purple, pink and red. “Or marking up someone particularly pretty.” Jisung smiled, pulling you into a kiss. His kiss was more desperate than Hyunjin’s, less like he was trying to imprint himself into your head and more like he already knew he was there. The two of you hadn’t kissed much the first time you had hooked up, so this was definitely different, and definitely better, one hundred percent. Meanwhile, Hyunjin had taken over where Jisung had left off, leaving his own little trail of pretty pink, purple and red marks along the skin of your neck and shoulder. Your soft moans into Jisung’s mouth only spurred both men on further and they began to run their hands over your body, working with a practiced ease you were quite frankly surprised by, having only been with each of them once before.
“You know angel,” Hyunjin spoke against the skin of your shoulder, before sucking another mark into the skin. “Jisung is great with his tongue.”
You gasped and Jisung pulled away with a grin, eyes a little fond as he looked at Hyunjin, “you remember that?”
“How could I forget?” Hyunjin smiled, leaning over to kiss Jisung. You smiled as you watched them, even if you felt yourself become more hot watching your boys kiss. Because they were your boys, no matter how much you had tried to deny it to everyone before. “Made me see stars every fucking time,” Hyunjin winked at you as he noticed you watching him and Jisung with rapt attention. “You want his tongue on you angel?”
“Please,” you breathed, springing Jisung and Hyunjin into action. They wasted no time stripping you and after your whine that you didn’t want to be the only naked one, stripped themselves too. Jisung propped you up against Hyunjin’s chest and began to move down to your dripping pussy, kissing your stomach and thighs as he went. He hummed in thanks as Hyunjin spread your legs and licked his lips, looking up at you for permission. At your nod and whimper of “please,” Jisung dived into your folds with boundless enthusiasm. Jisung ate you out like he was trying to make a complete mess of you. It was all tongue and spit and him groaning into your pussy and his fingers prodding at your entrance. Yet, there was still a quiet precision to it all, like he had done this so many times he had a completely mind blowing formula worked out. And it was working, for you immediately dissolved into a series of moans and curses, slipping in both Jisung and Hyunjin’s names to your mantra like a prayer. Hyunjin kept your legs spread for Jisung and ground his heavy erection into your back, whispering hotly into your ear.
“Sung’s doing so well isn’t he? I told you he was great with his tongue. Go on, tell him how good he’s making you feel?”
“So…so good! Jisung fuck, you’re so good.”
“Yeah? Baby likes it when I lick her? Fuck you taste so good.”
“Bet she’ll taste even better when she cums on your tongue,” Hyunjin hummed softly, rolling your nipples in between his fingers. You nodded quickly, hips writhing into Jisung’s face as much as they could with Hyunjin’s big hands holding onto you.
“Please…please Sung make me cum.”
And you didn’t have to ask Jisung twice, because he grinned, winking, before diving into your folds with even more passion than before. It didn’t take long before the cord which had tightened in your stomach snapped, making you moan as you came on Jisung’s face. He continued licking you through your orgasm, groaning at the taste of you. He moved up to kiss you and Hyunjin, laughing when you scrunched your face up in disgust at the taste of yourself on his mouth. Hyunjin did no such thing though and licked into Jisung’s mouth, trying to get more of a taste of you. You curled up sleepily on Hyunjin’s lap, watching the two make out next to you. You could feel Hyunjin grinding up against your ass and you giggled softly when he let out a loud moan, his cum beginning to spill onto your back and ass. Jisung giggled too, pulling away as Hyunjin whined in embarrassment.
“Gee Hyunjin, you must have missed me a lot to cum just from just a bit of kissing.”
“You know that’s not the only reason,” Hyunjin grumbled, picking you up so he could wipe the cum from your back. “Besides, don’t think I don’t know you came from eating our angel out.”
You looked at Jisung, who was now incredibly red “Yah! You would too if you got a taste of her straight from the source.”
“Ew don’t say that,” you whined, letting Hyunjin pick you up off the bed so he could start changing the sheets, “it makes me sound like a fountain.”
“I bet we could make you into a fountain,” Hyunjin hummed offhandedly. “All wet and absolutely dripping for us.”
“Dude don’t say that!” Jisung whined before depositing you in your now clean bed. “You’ll get me hard again and I don’t think my dick can handle that.”
“Oh please,” Hyunjin snorted, laying down on your bed and immediately pulling you and Jisung into a cuddle pile. “You have the refractory period of an old man, we should start calling you Chan.” You closed your eyes as Hyunjin’s squeal rang out through the apartment, presumably from Jisung smacking him. You didn’t really care to find out though, you had both your boys just the way you wanted them.
Maybe your Christmas plans hadn’t been ruined after all.
~
“I don’t know what kind of magic you worked on them, but whatever it was I thank you for it, they were getting insufferable.”
You laughed at Minho’s words, sipping your champagne as you watched Hyunjin and Jisung kick Juyeon’s ass at whatever video game they were playing. Upon finding out that you hadn’t been able to visit your family for Christmas, the residents of the floor above you had invited you over to Seonghwa’s apartment for a makeshift Christmas lunch.
“The magic of finally snapping and telling them that I wouldn’t speak to them unless they sorted out their shit and behaved like adults.”
“Ah yes,” Seonghwa hummed as he joined you and Minho, his girlfriend brushing past with a kiss on his cheek before she joined Jisung and Hyunjin in kicking Juyeon’s ass. At least you thought she was Seonghwa’s girlfriend. There had been a weird tension between the four all afternoon. “The power of them being your biggest simps.”
“I mean they’re still pretty annoying, but I wouldn’t have them any other way.”
“Oh gross,” Minho muttered and the exclamation made both you and Seonghwa laugh into your champagne. The three of you fell into easy conversation, even as you kept an eye on your boyfriends. Yeah, they were still super annoying, and yeah they still argued a bit. But at the end of the day they still loved each other, even if they hadn’t worked out how to put that love into a labeled relationship yet. And they still loved you.
Maybe you should thank the snowstorm for ruining your Christmas plans after all.
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#kpop smut#hard thoughts with rose#stray kids smut#han jisung smut#hwang hyunjin smut#han smut#hyunjin smut#jisung smut#stray kids hard hours#skz smut#kpop hard hours#hwang hyunjin hard thoughts#han jisung hard hours#han jisung hard thoughts#skz hard hours#skz hard thoughts#poly stray kids smut
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FAKE DATE ME? !blue lock
mikage reo x gn!reader
notes // honestly, blame vera for this. i'm not a reo simp, rin thoughts only but here we are... with a reo work.... ugh. as always not edited because i'm lazy and i wrote it during lessons. this completely escalated so uh, have almost 1k of reo just being a simp
wc // 911 words
tagging // for all my reo simps <3 @stellumi , @lilikags , @keqism , @wanderersbell , @venexus
Listen- it was not his fault! He was desperate, the pressure of the public and his parents heavy on his shoulders, all while he only wanted to play football with Nagi. The only reason why his dreams weren't crushed, was because of Blue Lock, as insane this project was.
It saved his life, well, more like his life as a striker and opened so many possibilities. He wanted to play football, he wanted to be the best and he was. Part of the first Blue Lock Generation and survivor of the Neo-Egoist League, he really was one of the best.
And still his parents tried to persuade to take over business, to become the head of Mikage Corporation but he didn't want to! Why was that so hard to understand? He wanted to play football, he wanted to win the World Cup again, he wanted to play against the best because he was part of the best.
In the end, no matter how many times he argued with his parents, he always ended up in one of his many fancy suits, right besides his parents, hair slicked back and a polite, cold smile on his lips. The people around him, old men with too much money to spare and their wives at the age of their own, barely adult children tittered around him, hiding insults behind admiring words and compliments.
They mocked him for his choices, all while going purple because of their jealousy. Others showered him with compliments, trying to gain any kind of favor for their own, untalented sons, or trying to push their brain-dead daughters in his direction. All of this didn't interest him, not when he played in one of the best European clubs as a regular, not when he was the next head of a rich company, not matter how much he hated it.
But he got tired of it, women trying to hang on his arm, simply because he was famous and rich. Richer than most football players. Their interest was not in him, but his fame and money, of course it bothered him and of course he didn't want to do anything with them. He gently pried their arms off, dodging their sharp nails, ready to dig into his meat to leech off and feed their greed.
All this happening to him was the reason why he was here now.
Here, standing in front of you, blurting out his proposition and watching you blush, stammer words and fumble with your hands. That is until you fall silent and agree with a silent 'yes'. How could you not? You, who had a bleeding heart and saw how your friend suffered under the attention he got, the unwanted gazes and whispers following him, while all he wanted to do was playing soccer...
He didn't announce the 'relationship' right away, fearing you would be overrun by the press, his fans and other unwanted people. But coming to sense, he knew that if the paparazzi found out, it would be much worse.
And so he posted a picture on his social media accounts, your hand in his, with a cheesy caption.
Of course, his fans went crazy, trying to find out who your new darling love was, but Reo quickly made it known that he wanted to protect you from the vultures of being famous, just a tiny bit longer.
Instantly he was portrayed as the sweetheart boyfriend, oh so considerate of his partner's feelings, trying to keep his relationship as private as he could.
He hoped that this would be enough, enough to stop his noisy parents breathing down his neck, enough to stop the touchy women on galas, enough to stop everyone.
Mikage Reo was naive. Very naive and too hopeful. Not only did his fake date gather too much attention to just split off, oh no- he also gained feelings for them, like an idiot.
His heart was beating so fast, as if he was in the middle of an intense game, the tip of his ears constantly red, always when you were near him, laughing with him, smiling at him and be his, no matter how fake it was. He was desperate, trying to get closer, reasoning with himself that this has been just so no one would find out, trying to deny that he was in love, trying-
Why was he even trying? He knew he fell for you the second you agreed to help him out, completely selfish (or so he thought). He fell for you hard and fast, with no way backing out of this and he was in a relationship with you! It was almost perfect and so he started to pretend, pretend it was actually perfection and he could call you his official and true partner.
He was trying to hide it, to hide his affection, his crush, his love- and yet he clearly failed, when everyone around mentioned how good the two you were looking, finally stepping into the light of the public, together, two as one.
Whipped he was, some said. Others mentioned words such as 'being in love', 'completely besotted' or 'utterly infatued'.
It was true, how could he deny it? How could he still continue to pretend, while the whole world whispered about him being oh so in love?
He couldn't. And so he confessed, stumbling words and eyes on the floor, fearing your rejection.
But he had nothing to fear, you loved him as well.
ASTRANNE 2023
#blue lock#bllk x reader#blue lock reo#bllk reo#reo x reader#reo x you#blue lock x reader#blue lock x you#blue lock x gn reader#blue lock fluff#bllk fluff#🪐 galaxy milky way
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Would I give them head?
A/N: I am so sorry for this I'm writing it at 3 am and I couldn't get it out of my head. I've been giggling for the past 10 minutes like a 7th grader. Also if you are reading this let me know if I should do something special for 50 followers. I know it's not a lot but I am so grateful! If yes let me know what I should do!
Tw: sexual content. Not explicit but it like look at the title. Cursing.
Genre: headcanons nsfw
Wc: idk it depends on which person. Probably 2+ for each.
This is including almost every male stardew character(obviously no kids) plus ridgeside plus expanded but not all because I cannot remember every single character and I don't wanna research rn.
Masterlist
Sebastian
Duh no doubt about it
He is the love of my life (well one of them)
I would give him the best head wymmmmm
Sam
Yes boy deserves it
Golden retriever coded guys deserve good head idc
Shane
Love sad men it's a yes
Kinda wanna make him cry because it's so good.
Maybe I can cure him
Elliott
No
Sorry it's not that I dislike him he's just not my favorite?
Maybe once as a treat but no other time than that
Harvey
Yeah he's the doctor for a small town
I gotta
Maybe he will stop billing me everytime I die
Alex
No
I am not attracted to this man he is more bestie coded to me
If he asked i would allow him a handjob I guess
Gus
Nope
Maybe he gets a Lil handjob as a treat because his food is good
Gunther
Maybe?
He kinda-
But not enough idk....
George
The reason I am writing this r n
The answer is no but the thought of doing it made me cackle
Lewis
Absolutely not
Fuck you old man
Pierre
NO
I hate this lying ass bitch I give you a kick
Willy
No sorry
He prolly smells like fish and salt and I am not fond
Love him tho stinky man
Kent
YES
would give him the sloppiest toppy known to man
He deserves it he needs it i want it pls bless me
I could beat Jodi's ass if it comes to it idc
Victor
Yes
I find him quite cute overlooking his slight classism.
Also for standing up to his mom for himself love that him
Demetrius
No
I'd rather give Robin head
He deserves no head for being crappy stepdad
Marlon
No
As much as I like him he probably does not shower
Also he is for the marnie's only
Clint
No
I wanna punch him so bad
Mr Qi
Maybe?
I don't find him attractive
But at the same time I find him mysterious and the might just be enough to convince me
Grandpa
HA
HAAAAAAA
no what is wrong with you
Andy
No
Prolly tastes like battery acid
He also gives off racist vibes
Wizard
Yeah
He's chill he can get some head
Morris
Maybe for a discount
Im equating Joja to Coke and I like coke
So only if he promises to give me a discount on stuff I want
Phillip
YES
Another love of my life
It was unexpected for me to love him but he is so cute to me
June
Yuperoni pepperoni
We love a man who is talented
Could easily convince me to give him head if he plays the piano for me ngl
Jeric
Maybe
I love but also hate him
He also gives off bestie vibes
Shiro
Yeah
I feel like he needs it:(
Ezekiel
No
I do however wanna smack his bald head
Not in a mean hateful kid of way I just wanna smack it
Lorenzo
Dilf Ngl
Maybe its because of his name idk
Answer is yes
Kimpoi
It was here where I started looking up characters bc i felt bad for leaving them out
No thank you I will not
Lance
Don't know much about him but I think hes cute so yes
His hair is cool
Isaac
Again don't know much about him hopefully he is not a child
But yeah he's cute so he gets a Lil head from me
Ian
If he takes a shower yes
Otherwise no
Kenneth
Yeah
I like his hair and I think he's cool for being an electrician
I know nothing else about him
Sean
Yeah he's cute so he can have some head
Im so sorry for not knowing im too busy simping over Seb and Phillip ngl
Anton
Uhhhhhh
Uhhhhhhhhhmaybe?
Im not attracted but unattracted to him so sure
Bryle
No
He reminds me of family
Like his face
Jio
Yea
As I have said before I love a mysterious man
Love a man with a sword
Zayne
I have no idea what this is
But I guess??
Have no reason to hate him so sure
Bert
No
He looks stinky :((
I also feel like his wife would beat my ass
Freddie
No
He is for the Lola's only
I also feel like he wouldn't be able to feel it
Mr Aguar
No
I do not enjoy his face
Pika
Simply because im assuming his food is good
I'll say sure simply for free food
Richard
No
So sorry
But no
Sonny
I will give him a platonic handjob
He deserves it bc he's a butler and probably does not get a day off with this family
#stardew valley#sdv#stardew#sdv headcanons#stardew headcanon#stardew valley headcanons#sdv shitpost#stardew shitpost#stardew valley shitpost#sdv expanded#stardew expanded#ridgeside village#sdv sebastian#sdv sam#sdv harvey#sdv shane#sdv elliott#sdv lewis#sdv pierre#sdv george#stardew victor#stardew valley ridgeside#stardew sebastian#stardew shane#stardew sam#stardew harvey#stardew elliott#stardew alex#sdv alex#sdv kent
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can u give me a guide to the six idiots :33 like maybe with a picture of them n their names n who they play in the Big Three shows :33 pwetty peesse :33
UM YES!?
ok, you saw me earlier trying to format all the images so it's gonna be mostly my (ehhhh) descriptions of the characters and you gotta guess what they look like 😈
Ben Willbond
Yonderland:
Elder Vex (above): the one who says Deb-beh and has the coziest looking outfit I NEED IT RN PLZ and the Tom Cardy- esque hair and earring
Nick: the stick. Grumpy all the time cuz he's a stick >:(. Is also a portal between dimensions but whatevs
Horrible Histories
Mike Peabody :historical news reporter that wishes he were anywhere but here rn
King Henry, Alexander the Great: SkINy MaNdRiA, excellent hair, sniffed a guy
Ghosts
The captain: AKA James, makes a lotta noises, if you ever hear me going weeeahhhhhuuuueeeaaaaaahhhh, I'm referencing him, the gay one<3
Martha Howe-Douglas!
Yonderland!!
Debbie.
Debbie's evil twin sister (bossy boobs)
I just googled it: Rita, the Negatus simp AKA us, the demon that looks like how female animals are protrayed in Barbie movies
Horrible Histories!!!
Boudica (look up the song, it's rlly good), Cleopatra, every female historical figure
Pirate lady....<33333
Ghosts!
Lady Button (present day): Old disgruntled lady that pouts all the time and falls out of windows
Lady Button (flashback)
Mathew Baynton!!!
Yonderland!!!
Oracle: weird blue blob guy, Nigel, Darling
Nanny la roo: NUM NUMS!!!! - nanny that is also a kangaroo
Admiral Anous: Voldemort mf I hate him bc he hates Negatus>:(
Elder Choop: Croissant hair mf, says, "IDK WHY DON'T WE ASK UR MUM??"
Le Fox: French
THE BIRRDDDDD: AKA Thomas Payne, Batman but cooler
Oh yeah, and Elf: the elf shaped one, full name: Grintallin Gobscrew Crotell Fashanu F’naw Goplatz Holla-Holla, has multiple wives apparently and is in debt to the mob
Horible Histories (look all of them up, they are all hot)
Dick Turpin: play the song >:333, shot not one but two men dead!
D.I. Bones: the whakkus bonkkused
King Charles II: absolute party-er
Ghosts
Thomas Thorne, shot, dead! Absolute poetic simp for Allison, drowned himself in the lake ;( -cannot drown-
Jim Howik!!!
Yonderland
Elder Pressley: looks like Elvis, eats christmas tree ornaments
Crone: A sLaPper *wink wink*, has apparently gotten with everyone, goes eeeerrrrrrrrrrr all the time- sounds like a doorhinge, she is amazing
Neil: lhe most normal of the demons probably
Horrible Histories
A SHOUTY MAN!!! :does all the infomercials, will try to sell you piss
King George VI (above) : "oh yesss, dad's dead, I'm king..."
King Richard III: a sweet little guy<3 -according to the song, get's attacked by whasp
Ghosts
Pat Butcher: Greatest DJ in the AAARRREEEEEUHHHHH, killed by a child, AKA Pete in the American version
Larry Rickard
Yonderland
Detective Mounteback: very dumb detective with very large hat
Elder Ho Tan: trans Icon, doesn't like loud noises, absolute baby<3
Sue: above, the lady with the gun from the episode I showed you
Horrible Histories
Bob Hale: weather report, needs a hellicopter and a nice cup of tea, basically Bill Wurtz
Lol knight with shit on head, Aztec guy, George III friend who slays so hard; "ConGRatu-VerY-LaTiOns your... *MAgEsTy*"
Ghosts
Humphrey: keeps getting left on roofs and shelves, does NOT know French smh
Robin: 5,000 yo ghosts, once saw a cool butterfly, KNOWS FRENCH! Got stuck by lightning and now he can turn on lights
and finally... the moment you've been waiting for...
Simon Farnaby!!!
Yonderland!!!
Negatus<333: Silly guy try to take over Yonderland but is just a lil guy, has an evil lair, uses The Font of Orris (cauldron thing that lets you see everything) as a hot tub, get's bullied by all the other overlords, wears pjs with houses on them.
Elder Flowers!!!: Long hair and lack of shirt, vegetarian hippie of the group, wants his clothes to be veGONE, "all you need is love, brothers... oh, and food"
Horrible Histories
Emperor Caligula: the wakkus bonkkus guy
Marcus Licinius Crassus: Knockoff Bassline Junkie song
Ghosts:
Jullian!!!: Died conducting an affair with his secretary!!!, is eternally sorta drunk, does the hand thing, only ghost that can interact with stuff, makes silly EEERREREEEEE noise when he's trying to move something, his name is Trevor in the American version, sad when there's no porn on da TV ;(, has no pants BTW
Thanks for coming to my TEDTALK!!!
Lemme know if I missed anything!
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are your request open??? if so what about a short little scenario of a trans ftm s/o coming out to slenderman and then lots of reasurring and loving!!
Ahxudbejeh wait no bcs one of my paired ocs for Slenderman is trans ftm-
Slenderman didnt even know until the first time Zackary let Slender see him neked-
When you came out to him, there was a long silence.
He had cocked his head, like a confused dog.
"You're.... What??"
"I.. I'm trans.."
His head tilts the other way.
"What is a... Trans??"
It clicks in your head finally. Though, you suppose it makes sense, being as old as he is coupled with the fact he is a recluse, it would have been highly likely the Slenderman doesn't know about the LGBTQ+ community.
You hesitate for a second, trying to find the right words.
"A trans person is someone who was born one gender, but that gender felt so wrong for them to be, so they try and become the other gender."
"So... You are a.. Woman.. Who needs to be a Man?"
"I suppose you could say it like that. I didn't realize you wouldn't understand what Trans meant," you pause then continue", because a good majority of the others here are either gay or bi I thought you knew about the Trans aspect of it.."
He tilts is head again.
"I do not understand what you are talking about."
"Oh.. Well, being gay is when a man likes other men, and lesbian is just the girl version for that. Bi is when someone likes both genders."
He hums. Then asks, "Why did you seem afraid to tell me?"
You inhale deeply. "Because, in the society I was born into isn't always so accepting. I was pretty much ostracized from my family when I came out to them.. And the same happened to one of my friends who came out as gay to his family.."
He buzzed before speaking again, "Well I don't see how the way you feel should affect our relationship, bärchen.."
Tears nearly welled in your eyes as he picked you up.
He chuckled as he picked you up, "Come here my little Darling."
"If you are so easily enthralled with a being the rest of your people find demonic and monsterous, I don't see why I can't return the favor?"
The lump in your throat makes it hard to speak, so all you could do really was smother your face into Slenderman's chest, hugging him tightly.
"Are you satisfied with your wardrobe, liebchen? Or should we go shopping, or speak with Trender?"
You muffled an "Iunno" sound while shrugging your shoulders. You really just wanted to snuggle.
So that's what you two did, until lunch time. Slenderman opted to go out. There was a new resturant rising up in Hell, and he wanted to try it out.
Getting yourself dressed in an outfit of nicer appearance, you froze finding Slenderman at your door, face completely red, and tentacles stiff.
"Y.. You good, Slendy?"
He seemed to snap out of it, clearing his throat and stumbling heavily over his words.
"Y-yes, I am fi-fine, h..handsome. I'll.. Uh.. Its... Re.. Really warm. I'm really w-warm."
He pulled his collar from his skin and hastily left.
You looked down to your outfit. Suit. It was form fitting, but not to the point of choking your body. (Oh. So Slenderman is the simp now?)
You blushed when it suddenly clicked he was flustered over you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mayyyybbee B^
Mayyybeee..
MAYBE I'll make a part two with a lunch scene B>
Maybe...
#creepypasta#slenderman#slenderman x reader#slenderman x male reader#slenderman x male!reader#slenderman x malereader#slenderman x trans y/n#ftm reader#creepypasta x malereader#creepypasta x male!reader#creepypasta x male reader
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Ok, so, I just randomly decided to make a list of Top 10 hottest (male) TR charcters... No idea why, it just popped in my head, lmao.
I wrote this 97% for the lolz, so don't take it too seriously.
So, here it is:
Top 10 Hottest Guys of Tokyo Revengers
10. MITSUYA - It's common knowledge that he's the Husband Material ™️ of the series! He was introduced as this responsible, mature, reliable guy with a somewhat eccentric hobby, and you may be into the cool, calm, collected, talented, kind ones, who're good with kids and house chores, but you can't convince me that your ovaries didn't do a happy little backflip with his glow-up in the last arc! You just know he's a little devil behind that whole boy-next-door act. 😏
9. SHIN - Ok, throughout the most part of the story, he was just Mikey's dead brother, who Mikey himself led us to believe was weak, generally lame, and a hopeless loser with women. Then we got the flashback chapters in the last arc, and what did we see? Capable, hardworking, caring, loving, selfless, persistant man, strong both in a fight and in holding his ground. Hell, he cared for vegetative Mikey for four years, pretty much all alone, sacrificing his own dreams and life in the process. Also, black turtlenecks and bomber jackets. That's all I'm gonna say.
8. HANMA - Who doesn't love a bit of occasional insanity?! The ultimate troll, both in the verse and in the fandom, tricked us all good! That's just how bored he was. Annoying, completely random and unpredictable, grinning madman who's only there to watch the world burn, by setting it ablaze with his own hotness! I mean, tall, tattoed, well dressed, cocky, handsome bastard, with sleepy eyes, anyone?! I hate the fact that he's giving an inexplicably strong 'boyfriend vibe'! But, I just wanna call him 'Shuuji'... 🤭
7. HAKKAI - This cutie is criminally underrated and slept on! I know Wakui did him dirty by not giving him a more complex personality than just a Mitsuya simp, but look at him! Tall, handsome, strong, blue eyes, lip scar, piercing. No wonder he ended up with a modeling career! And on top of the stunning looks, he's just a pure, shy baby! 🥺 Makes you wanna tease and corrupt the hell out of him! 🤭 Besides, his implied clinginess and loyalty suggest he's a keeper, and if that isn't hot, I don't know what is!
6. MIKEY - The definition and the school example of that old proverb - the strongest poisons are kept in the tiniest flasks. Yes, having incredible fighting prowess is hot, being a capable leader is hot, having endless authority is hot, being "emo" is hot, being painfully cute is hot... We don't care that he's pocket sized (and mentally unstable), with his endless charisma, our favorite gang leader very well deserved his place on this list!
5. WAKA - Simply, he's sexy and he knows it. And we know it. You know it. Your grandma knows it. Everyone knows it. Teen or adult, law abiding citizen or a crime lord, the White Leopard could make anyone anywhere fall for him at the snap of his fingers! ...if he only cared enough to do so, tho.
4. KOKO - Intelligent, smart, sassy, sarcastic, and plain insolent = perfection. This cheeky, well-read, super stylish, handsome motherfucker had us fawning over his strong, passion-driven personality, hidden under the cool façade. What's not to love about a blindly devoted guy?! It doesn't matter if it's the devotion to a cause or a person he deems important (#lucky Inui siblings). But fair be fair, that habit of sticking his tongue out should be X rated...
3. BAJI - If his fiery, man-among-the-men personality, undying loyalty, and endless kindness aren't enough to make you burn like a car, just take a look at that perfectly chiseled face, cocky smirk, and glorious raven locks! Still not convinced? Well, you're either blind, dead, or not into guys at all! We should actually be grateful that his adult version was only ever shown at the very last chapter, cause anything more than that would have been beyond too hot to handle!
2. KAZUTORA - There's just something indescribably magnetic about the whole "redeemed sinner" trope, and that alone would have been enough to get him a spot on this list! But since he also happens to have the handsomest face in the show, a beauty mark under the eye, the cutest smile, a piercing, a tattoo, and a fair amount of badassery and strength, it all sums up to the total of our dear banana tiger being the runner-up!
1. HARUCHIYO - Does this one really need any explanation? Pathological loyalty is beyond hot, wearing a mask is hot, scars are super hot (as already established), suits are hot, piercings are hot, long lashes are hot, pale blond/albino is hot, green eyes are hot, skillfully wielding a sword is hot, smarts are hot, being a little bit deranged is hot... the list could really go on for days, there's literally nothing about him that doesn't make him hot. "...Being a homicidal maniac and a drug addict?" No, he's excused for all red flags on the account of pretty privilege!
#tokyo revengers#sanzu haruchiyo#hanemiya kazutora#baji keisuke#kokonoi hajime#imaushi wakasa#sano manjiro#hanma shuuji#sano shinichiro#mitsuya takashi#tokrev headcanons#tokrev x reader#mikey#baji#haruchiyo#black dragon tokyo revengers#mitsuya#tokrev koko#tr hanma#kazutora#tokyo revengers manga#tokyo revengers headcanons#shiba hakkai
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mav, i KNOW i just reblogged your rooster fic but i just need to share this thought with you. rooster and reader recreating dirty dancing’s “love is strange” scene and getting interrupted by maverick or something 😶🌫️
this thought will never leave my brain now
— your goose <3
GOOSE you have never been more right. ever. here’s more husband! rooster because i’m a simp. this is not read over because we die like men here.
this happens when you’ve first moved into your new place and your living room is completely empty because maverick is still on the way with the moving truck. the only things occupying the space are what you could fit in the trunk and backseat of bradley’s mom-car, i mean, mini-van.
you’re in the kitchen unpacking the single box of utensils you’d snagged from the moving truck—because bradley hadn’t even had a trickle of a thought of what you’d use to eat for the day it’d take you to get everything to your place and the inevitable month it took you to actually unbox everything—when you hear the distinct opening notes of “love is strange” emanating from the living room behind you. you can still hear bradley fiddling with something, so you vaguely assume he’s turned on the tv or his spotify or something.
and it’s quiet. for a while. just the delicate buzz of Mickey & Sylvia.
that is, at least, until you feel him plant his palms on your hips and spin you around.
“dance with me, baby,” he hums, digging his face into your neck to leave open-mouthed kisses there.
“we gotta unpack,” you say. you don’t mean to shove him, necessarily, but you definitely smack at his hands a little.
he gives you one of those whiny groans he always uses to try and make you feel guilty—they don’t work, by the way—as he meanders away only to slump down onto the floor at the edge of the open kitchen area.
he knows the lyrics. he knows them all, like he should since you make him watch dirty dancing at least once a month.
“sylvia,” he calls out from his spot on the floor.
god, he’s gonna force you to get on all fours and crawl to him, isn’t he? live out your dirty dancing daydreams.
“yes, mickey?”
this should not make you as hot and bothered as it does. as sexy as patrick swayze was, ten year old you swore no man would ever compare in this position. and here bradley was. making you out to be a liar.
“how do you call your lover boy?” it’s the sweats, you decide. and the messy bed-head.
“c’mere lover boy,” you whisper sing. you’re close enough to touch now, on your knees. you’ve jumped the gun, you know, baby doesn’t let johnny in this close for another line or two but bradley just looks so good.
“and if he doesn’t answer?” he’s adjusted to his knees as well, now, eye-level with you as he continues his little movie moment.
“oh, lover boy.”
foreheads touching, hands barely brushing against each other’s waists.
“and if he still doesn’t answer!”
“i simply say-“
the door decides it wants to open, in that moment, to reveal an entirely too pleased maverick with a large package at his feet and his phone being pulled out of his pocket.
“you know, for blackmail,” he says as he snaps a compromising picture or two to save for later.
tags— @zeldaknight @ridestomars
#rooster x reader#bradley bradshaw x reader#bradley bradshaw#top gun#top gun maverick#miles teller#miles teller x reader#bradley rooster bradshaw
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Xena Reactions S3Ep3
We start with a dude dramatically running away from war... EW. ARES. He just keeps getting uglier
Damn strong armour. Is the armour possessing the guy?
MEDAL OF HEPHESTEUS!?
Cheerful start really
Damn they wanna hurt some guy. Was that Gabby
YEEES XENA AND GABRIELLE
Gosh Xena and Gabrielle are so gorgeous
Is she gathering criminals for a mission XD
OHHH GORGEOUS.
"I am no lady" either way gender.
Xena introducing them
"Just men?" 😂 Gabrielle asking the good questions
Going up against Ares... Blergh. Ares can go choke on his own ego.
Oof, village laid waste
The armour looks so stupid honestly...
Rude!???
Love how Xena's SWORD broke but not Gabrielle's staff 😂
Oh fuck the pretty one was hit
Oh. METAL! Not medal... Yes that makes more sense (auditory processing issues hu)
Blacksmithing fancam
Hate that pretentious guy
CALLISTO SHOUTOUTTT <3
"Wow, nice ceps!" He is GAY. He is so down to suck Ares's dick...
BOOMERANG (Sokka is foaming at the mouth in jealousy)
"Cos I'm gonna kill her" no you won't. Shut up and suck Ares's dick you war simp
Gabrielle commanding them as she should.
Boo for them ignoring her.
"Murderers guarding murderers"
"Were they murderers before they met you?" OUCH
THEY WERE LIKE ME
AAAAAAH
"Am I really who I am, or am I what you made me?"
They're playing their funny guessing game again
Jesus can these murderers CHILL
Gabrielle looking, then going NOOOPE
Please these idiots are still standing there
Ahaha they're guarding each other cos none trusts the other to not kill them
RISE AND SHINEEE
"But what are you here for?"
SO VALID. STAB THAT GUY DEAD.
"You know what men are like" lesbian
Ahaha he just fell asleep
"But you're going to buy them"
Yuck, I wouldn't wanna be stuck with that guy either
"I think I've never been part of a true disaster before" "Cynic"
URGH the sexist prick can go die in a ditch
Ew what kinda straight sex shit is this
"Men are so easy" shdhshd
Gosh he's annoying.. Why r all the men in this annoying
NOOOO HE WANTED TO HURT GABRIELLE
And he grabbed Xena...
DID SHE KILL HIM-
Oop
"That's gotta be uncomfortable" 😂
GABRIELLE MY BABYGIRL
"Is this a private get together or can anyone join in?" Oh she knooows
She's happy they're working together
AHAHA She sensed Ares
Why is Ares' beard so fucking UGLYYYY. Like it literally got worse
Ares you snitch. Why are you telling her. Bro as if THAT isn't also interfering?? 😂
Uhhhh... Whomst?
Damn they throw bombs
Gabrielle ur so amazing
Xena I love you sm
Damn. She's defyyying gravity
Mmmmm, dudebro sexist is sus af
Urgh... They tricked her...
GABBY
YUCK. DISGUSTING. I hope she gets to murder him
I love Gabby
HOLY SHIT. HER SHOVING THE OTHER WOMAN AGAINST THE WALL (Gabrielle 🤝 Jenny)
Glaphyra?
Yeah true but y'know, a bit too many men for my liking, and a whole bunch of others stand around doing nothing about it
They really just want money, hu
Is he gonna free them
Ayoooo double double crossing
Ahsdhsh she used the Doctor strategy. Get captured cos breaking out the cell is easier than breaking into the whole thing
EW. ASSAULT. DISGUSTING. Someone give her a wife
"Hey that's not how a princess fights" gosh get some perspective, man
"Amazon Princess" YOU TELL HIM
OH FUCK. GABRIELLE IS JUST SEEING XENA MURDER WITHOUT RESTRAINT
Something something the old Xena showing for a moment
"Why does everyone wanna kill me?" Honestly it's very understandable
"I'm not leaving!" "Like she said"
Ares is like lmao bye have fun dying, loser
All the steaaaam, brilliant. Gotta be pretty hot in there
YEESH That gotta hurt
Kabooooom
"Look after Xena, okay?" awwwww
"I'd sooner fall for a toad" valid
THEY'RE SO GAAAY
"You're Gabrielle" AAAAAH ❤️
"Question is who would I be without you?"
Ahaha them bickering
Ok so as a whole the episode was very, very meh. I liked the Xena/Gabrielle moments tho
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It feels like up until recently only people who shipped Gio/Ghetsis were me and my friend. It's awesome to see more people get into them!! Pealse, do share more of your hcs about them, raunchy or not. Also qurious how you see admins react to an Unovan out of all people stealing their boss' attention
Not me already thinking that they look good together back around 2020/2021 and thought I was also alone on this (I only got obsessed when I read that one fic of em here)
It's great to see that we're growing now though. Now we can all be delusional about evil old men yaoi together yayayay
A few hcs under cut
They sparingly use pet names (they're too old and way too prideful and "mature" for that), they mostly refer to each other with their full first names though during more casual convos, they do use shortened versions of each other's first name. But during moments when they're truly alone and/or feeling very affectionate, they would occasionally call each other dear, dearest, darling, my king (mostly from Ghetsis), my queen (from Giovanni, especially when Ghet is dressed up all pretty. He doesn't mind being called a feminine term of endearment. To him, it just means he's just that gorgeous) and certain Italian and Japanese terms of endearment (from Gio obviously). Some may argue that the way they affectionately refer to each other with their surnames can be counted as pet names.
It's no secret that Ghetsis' anger is absolutely terrifying and Arceus have mercy if you are ever on the receiving end of it. However, Gio has found a way to calm him down greatly. He just have to gently hold and massage his left hand and kiss the back of it as if he's courting him. If that doesn't fully subdue him, then an arm wrapping around his waist to pull him closer and a short but passionate kiss on the lips will 99% will. Anyone witnessing this will just be surprised at how fast Gio can quell his wrath and frankly, just how bold this guy is to seduce Ghetsis.
Before getting together, they'd think they're both manipulating each other. Upon getting together, they'd still think that they're just using each other. Hell, they could get married and everything and they'd still believe that this relationship is nothing more than a scheme to control each other. But despite that, even though they believe that they are just using the other for their own agenda, the casual fascination they have for each other's interests and hobbies, the slight flutter whenever they do something romantic together, the pang of jealousy whenever the other is being too close with someone else, the lustful desire to get closer and closer whenever they get caught in heated passions, the yearning to have someone so like-minded and equally strong to rule all of existence with; all of these don't lie. Deny it all they want but they have caught horrible feelings for each other and it's only a matter of time before the truth eventually escapes one of them. That will be the day when the two cruelest villains will shut down as the fact becomes clear, they are undoubtedly, inexplicably, and truthfully in love.
And regarding the rocket admins AKA Gio's number 1 simps on what they think about their boss dating the most feared crime boss in Unova:
short answer: they are all jealous in varying degrees but they try to remain cordial and professional for their boss.
long answer:
Archer - Man, he's not taking this too well being the Gio-obsessed guard dog he is. He mostly looks like he's unbothered when on the job but once he clocks out, he cycles through the four stages of grief (he has yet to reach acceptance) at least 10 times a day. Among the 4 admins, he's the one who is the most badly affected by this. He'd even try to find ways to separate them but of course he'd end up getting reprimanded by Gio later on. Perhaps one day, they'd break up and have his boss back. For now, he will stick to that delusion as much as he could.
Ariana - I may have a contradicting headcanon for her compared to some of ya'll. Among the 4 admins, she is the least affected and the least jealous. She and Gio were once together so it's a surprise she's not as upset about this like Archer. That's mostly because that she's had her fill with being with him in the past and after everything that happened since the initial downfall and revival of Team Rocket, she slowly drifted away considering how much Gio valued growing stronger on his own and was more focused on the team than her or even their own child (she's not a better parent than Gio but she still cares for Silver the same way Gio does). While she does still greatly respect him for his strength, ability, and charisma and is mildly jealous that he has found someone else, she has mostly accepted that what they had was long gone and she's fairly happy for them now; even when he has a new lover, she will still be loyal to him even if the fire they had has been snuffed out.
Proton - On one hand, he is not happy about his boss having a lover, more so that this lover is the boss of an enemy team overseas of all people. On another, if the boss is now no longer in the market, then this is his chance to shoot his shot with Archer. He was initially really jealous at first but the jealousy wore off and is replaced with distrust and suspect on the Unovan. He supposes that he shouldn't overstep and just let them be as long as his boss doesn't get harmed (even if he still slightly wishes it was him). If he can't have Gio, maybe he can just go after his other crush though Archer is now extremely distraught with the situation, he decides to just wait it out for now before making a move (waiting it out is not gonna work, go for it already Proton so that Archer can stop crying in his sleep every night).
Petrel - While not as jealous as Archer, he does ponder about how it would be if it were him. He does wish as well that the boss would even look at him like that. He did contemplate that he should try disguising as the Plasma boss but discarded that idea because of course Gio can see right through that. He is still wary about the two's relationship, but he tries not to let it get to him too much compared to a certain teal haired rocket admin.
And lastly (suggestive warning) :
Raunchy huh. You sure ya'll wanna hear those hcs? Eh sure, here's one
I did say in that one headcanon that a kiss on the lips can calm Ghetsis down 99% of the time. Well what if that doesn't work either? The final step now is for Gio to drag Ghetsis somewhere private and fuck the anger out of him. Old Dennis can't be livid now that he's too tired, contented, and intoxicated from being dicked down, creamed, and pleased expertly by mafia man.
That's it for now yahoooooo.
#cheken clucks#cheken's nonsense#cheken scratch#my headcanons#i'm glad that this ship is getting more traction#i dunno how insane i would get if it didn't#me and those two discord moots will go mad obsessing over these two#giovanni#ghetsis#terribledadshipping#suggestive for the last one
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