#we study shit 5 year olds should be reading

[skzcollision]

churchboy!felix x afab!reader (4/7)

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genre: fluff, smut, teen angst

synopsis: certain expectations come with being a pastor’s daughter. in everyone’s eyes you are a properly behaved girl, albeit rather timid. according to your parents, you aren’t as devoted to the church as you should be. they entrust you to an old family friend’s son, deeming him to be a good influence. these circumstances bring you two closer together and stir up all kinds of emotions.

MINORS DNI

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

It turns out that you and Felix hadn't been the only ones in that restroom you locked yourselves in.

A classmate had witnessed the entire thing and the little snake didn't hesitate to tell everyone that the school's beloved golden boy has been banging the daughter of a pastor—you. The most salacious piece of gossip since junior year when someone got pregnant and had to drop out.

Your goody two shoes image had crumbled in less than an hour.

If you were to be honest, there was something freeing about it. Putting up a front all these years had begun to chip away at you. No one got anywhere by rebelling against their parents. They would have only sent you away to some religious boot camp for troubled teens or whatever they thought effective—so you pretended to put up with their shit for eighteen years.

After you leave for university, that’s when your life begins. They have been pushing for you to attend Bible college but what they don’t know is that you have officially chosen to study at a secular school. Money is not a problem; you managed to receive a scholarship and saved up enough from past part-time jobs to cover living expenses. You’ll live away from your parents, and ultimately, have a life of your own.

Hopefully with Felix by your side.

Your parents aren’t the biggest fan of him at the moment. You have told your mother that while you are seeing each other, you have never slept together—which is technically not a lie. But the fact that he never asked your father for permission to court you, left a bad taste in their mouths. They never foresaw that these innocent bible readings would progress your relationship in this way.

“I just don’t know what we were thinking.” Your mother huffs. She takes her anger out on a head of cabbage this time, knife coming down forcefully and rapidly against the wooden board. It impresses you that she has never had one accident. “Leaving you unchaperoned all day with a boy.”

You’re rinsing produce at the sink, fighting the urge to roll your eyes or make a face because she somehow always catches you. “I’m eighteen, mom.”

Her knife comes to a halt. “You are still a child.”

You don’t say any more on the subject. It’s futile arguing with her. No matter what you say, she is always going to see you as a naive little girl with no knowledge of the world.

Your parents think this entire situation is still better than you running off with a non-Christian, so they have invited Felix and his parents over for dinner at your house.

It’s a little scary, how your mother can switch her demeanour in a drop of a hat. One moment she’s yelling at you for peeling the fruits wrong and the next she’s answering the door with the pearliest smile.

Felix brings his famous brownies and suddenly it seems like all is forgiven. His dad joins your father in the living room while he and his mom help out in the kitchen. You realize how similar both of your mothers are, only you feel that his is genuinely kind while yours poses.

It goes just like any other dinner has. The adults talk, and the children stay quiet, only speaking when spoken to and when the occasional question pops up. Your mother loves answering for you so you just about have your brain shut off the entire time.

They leave after dessert, well, your mothers chitchat by the door for another hour or so, and then they leave.

Besides playing footsie underneath the table, you and Felix didn’t really get the chance to interact much with each other all night, so he calls as soon as you slide into bed.

“When can I see you?” You ask, lying on your back.

“You’re not going to church?”

“I am. I mean when can I see you alone,” you emphasize.

“After the service, I guess. They’re asking me to set up a new computer so I have to hang back, but we can go somewhere once I’m done with that.”

“Okay.”

You don’t talk for very long, nor do you hang up. Your phone stays next to your head and you let his breathing lull you to sleep.

“Has everyone gone home?”

You sit on the futon behind Felix as he works on the desktop. The small back room that they have designated as the church office always has an unpleasant dank smell and feel. Something like rotting wood. You really don’t want to stay here for any longer.

“Yeah I think so,” his response is delayed, focused solely on whatever he is doing.

You smile, pulling up a foldable chair next to his and hugging him round the stomach. Your face buries into his neck.

His hand comes up to stroke your hair briefly before going back on the mouse. “Let’s do this later okay? Just wanna finish as quickly as possible.”

Your lips purse into an exaggerated pout. It takes a while for him to look but once he does, he only chuckles and lays a chaste kiss on you before quickly getting back to it.

You finally decide to just leave him alone and diddle around with the pipe organ to pass the time.

Hymns are all you know so that’s what you play. Although your parents made you play for church when you were little and you typically hate everything they force you to do, playing the pipe organ is not one of them. You have always enjoyed how grand the notes sound—filling up the entire room, buzzing through you. You like that you are responsible for making it happen.

Halfway through a piece, your fingers move to play a song that Felix sang for you over the phone a few nights ago, when he thought you were asleep. Relying completely on your memory, you miss a few keys so you go back to rectify them until you can play it cohesively.

“You were awake.”

You jump, glancing over your shoulder in surprise to see Felix standing there, fingers lingering on a note.

“I’m glad I was.” You grin up at him, eyes raking over his freckles, cheeks tinged with pink. “How come I’ve never heard you sing before?”

“I’m a little shy when it comes to my voice.” He plops down next to you, head hanging low.

“Why?” You ask, baffled. “I love your voice.”

Felix shifts closer to you. “Yeah?”

You nod, hands flowing across the keys to play a simple melody. “One of the many things I love about you.“

He jabs at your sides and you yelp, glaring at him for messing up your rhythm. “What else do you love about me?” He smiles playfully, wrapping his arms around you.

You match his smile and your fingers come up to brush against his lips. “This smile for one…” You peck him on the corner of his mouth. “These… beautiful freckles.” You murmur, peppering kisses across his cheeks. “Those sounds you make when I…” Your mouth moves down to nibble at his jaw, then the soft skin around his Adam’s apple, drawing out low moans from him.

That feeling builds up within you again—that burning innate need to be closer to him.

Searching for approval, you pull away for a moment to look up into those soft, doe eyes, swirling with admiration.

His gaze darkens, and he nods permissively. A grunt leaves him as he greedily attaches his lips to yours, hand cradling the back of your head.

WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT

Your fingers fly into his hair, pushing, pulling. It doesn’t take long for you to end up on his lap again. Your head lolls back as his mouth latches onto your neck, hands desperately pawing everywhere he can reach. Sounds of pleasure echo within the walls of the chapel as your hips work in tandem, heat generating where you two connect.

He’s hard again. You never actually got the chance to touch him last time.

“Can…” You whimper, eyes squeezing shut when he grinds up into you again. “Can you let me take care of you?”

Breathing erratically against your neck, Felix snaps his gaze up, showing his pretty, flushed face to you. His tongue darts out to wet his lips and he nods.

The bench creaks as you untangle your legs from his waist, moving to sit beside him. You swallow apprehensively as you undo the button of his trousers, eyes glued to his bulge.

You begin palming him over his boxers, fingers grasping around and feeling the shape of his shaft. His head tips back, face twisting up adorably.

He looks to you in confusion when you suddenly withdraw your hand. You grin sweetly. “Show me how you do it.”

You laugh when he only stares at you, looking more puzzled than before. “You do, don’t you?”

Tearing his gaze away, he mumbles almost inaudibly, “s- sometimes… when I’m in the shower.”

You have learned quite a bit about how to pleasure a man from the books you used to secretly read at the public library, but the thought of Felix touching himself in front of you is more exciting.

“Well?” You urge him on, a teasing glint in your eyes.

“That’s not something you should see,” he scoffs bashfully, the tips of his ears now the same shade as the flowers on your dress.

Laughter bubbles up from your chest. You are amazed that he still has it in him to act like a gentleman around you. The same guy who had his fingers inside of you earlier this week. The same guy who couldn’t stop groping you in the kitchen behind the backs of your mothers under the guise of reaching into a cabinet. He is way beyond the point of modesty.

”What?” He glances at you with his eyes narrowed in slits, mildly annoyed.

You shake your head and press your lips together, a poor attempt to conceal your hilarity. “Nothing, I just kind of thought we were past that.”

Determination settles on his features. “Fine.”

He shoves his hand inside his boxers, pausing in a moment of irresolution. Then he’s taking himself out for you to see. You stare in awe at the glistening head. Of course it’s pretty; you believe every part of Felix is.

Deep groans leave him as he fucks into his fist, fingers deliberately tugging up and down his length. This whole time he does not look at you, rather keeps his eyes shut. You notice how his thumb often comes up to caress the tip.

You’ve read about that part being the most sensitive. He’s had to have touched himself several times now.

Gravitating towards him, you push back the strands of hair on his forehead and his eyes flutter open slightly. “Do you think about me?”

He nods, gulping. “I always think about you.”

You lean over so that your breath is fanning over his neck. “You finish to the thought of me?”

“Y- Yes…”

Your lips curve into a saccharine smile, eyes hardened with lust. “Good.”

You cover his hand, the one on his cock, with yours and he stares at you in alarm. He unfurls his fingers, letting you take over and allowing you to finally touch him. He’s soft, so soft, but rigid at the same time.

His pretty mouth drops open and his eyes are closed again as you mimic his own movements. Snapping your wrist with each motion, remembering to pay special attention to the leaking tip.

Felix has surrendered himself completely, his shame from earlier long gone. His unrestrained groans fill up the large, empty space, just like the pipe organ had, knuckles turning white as he grips onto the edges of the bench.

You feel his cock suddenly get stiffer, like the quills on a porcupine, and you slow your hands before stopping completely, realizing what that meant.

He whines at the loss of contact, practically sobbing out your name.

“Let’s try something else,” you get up from your seat, his eyes following you in a daze.

Leaning yourself over the keys, you place one hand on the panelling while the other hikes up your sundress. Your eyes meet his over your shoulder.

“What…” He stands up, directly behind you. “Um, y- you want me to put it in? I don’t have anything to... and that’s– we shouldn’t–” He gulps nervously, eyes flitting around.

A soft smile graces your features and you shake your head. “Not inside, just…” You gesture to your thighs, unsure of how to explain things exactly.

“Oh,” realization dawns on him. He is more intuitive than you thought.

Felix positions himself up against you, holding your waist with one hand and himself up with the other. “Are you sure?”

You nod, driving your ass back into him with need. “Please.”

He slips in between your plushy thighs, his length pressing right up against your covered cunt. You moan in bliss, clamping your thighs around him as tightly as possible.

“Uh, i- is… Mmph…” He rasps out against the nape of your neck, grabbing onto your hips to better stabilize himself. “Is it okay if I s- start moving?”

Your hand comes up to stifle your giggles, imagining how well he would react once he’s actually inside of you. “Mhm,” you hum in a velvety voice, jutting your ass out further.

Low growls escape him as he starts pounding into your thighs, his sloppy, shallow thrusts drawing out your own sobs of pleasure. Eventually he gets a better grip and his rhythm becomes more controlled.

“Ahh!” He changes his angle and you stumble forward, causing your hands to land on the keys. The tune almost mimics the lewd noises coming out of your mouths.

He holds onto you tighter, his thick shaft relentlessly sliding through your wet cunt and in turn making you a babbling, incoherent mess. “F- Felix… y- your… it feels… s- s’good…”

Grunting with exertion, he pulls you to his chest.“Yeah?” He licks along your jaw, one hand splayed across your stomach, the other on your breast. He’s gone completely feral, lost in the way you feel around him.

You gaze down in stupefaction as the head of his cock appears from your thighs. You lift a hand to play with it, teasingly rubbing your palm against the flushed tip every time it pops back out.

“O- Oh… oh my go–“ He makes a harsh, grating sound from behind you, hips slamming into your ass.

Your panties have started shifting to the side, allowing his cock to finally rub against your bare pussy. It’s a delicious friction when his tip collides with your clit, and you feel yourselves tumbling closer to the edge.

“C- Close… s’close!” You cry out, hips moving back to meet his forceful thrusts.

His cock is dangerously close to your entrance but neither of you think about it as you fall apart together, white-hot pleasure ripping through your bodies. His release shoots into your hand, some of it smearing in between your thighs.

You clutch onto each other for a moment, catching your breaths, regaining composure.

Then he’s turning you around and you share a gentle kiss.

He feels you shaking against him so he takes your face in his hands. “Are you okay? I’m sorry– was it too much?”

“No, no it wasn’t… I’m okay,” you smile reassuringly. Seeing him so concerned about you makes your stomach do flips. He presses kisses to your shoulder, rubbing soothing circles on your back. “It’s hot. Wanna go get some gelato?”

He lifts his head and looks at you like you’re crazy, then laughs. “Let’s clean you up first.”

⭒

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| taglist: @moasworld @beautifulixr @vixensss @yeetfellx @g00dtimenotlongtim3 @letrasalvientoblog |

#lee felix smut #lee felix x reader #felix x reader #skz felix #skz smut #stray kids #skz fanfic #lee felix fluff #skz fluff

[backtotheshitshow]

Ghost Clothes Part 2 : the field.

(Wally Clark x reader)

Part1 part3 part4

Summary: after finding y/n in the locker room, Wally wants to show her around the school.

Warning: idk if there is any 🤷‍♀️

Wally lead the way down the hall, doing his best to make small talk with Y/n.

“How did I not hear about you dying. I’ve been here since the ‘80’s and I never heard of a girl dying in the locker rooms.” Wally questioned.

“I died the same week Zayn left One Direction. So a dead girl wasn’t exactly the top story of the local teens.” Y/n explained.

“Ah yes I remember that band, they were no Motley Crüe though.” Wally says, opening the door to the school office. “Ladies first”

“Thank you. Yeah, I was always more of a 5 seconds of summer girl anyway.” Y/n came to a stop at the lost property bin. Everything in there was awful, old sweaty trackpants and hoodies.

“I’ll wait outside.” Wally says, giving a quick smile before leaving.

The only decent thing y/n could find in the bin was some girls basketball shorts and an AC/DC shirt that looked older than her, well older than what she’s supposed to be. Y/n reluctantly changed out of Wally’s jacket and into the other clothes.

She emerged from the lost property room, to be greeted with a smiling Wally. “Oooh AC/DC, you know they’re in my top ten list of bands to work out to. “ the boy chuckled, taking his jacket back.

Wally felt a twinge of sadness, he longed to see her in just his jacket again. God why was he being such a perv. He just meant this girl. Y/n clears her throat, snapping Wally back to reality.

“What? Sorry did you say something” Wally rambled.

“No. you’re just stairing.” Y/n informs.

“Right, sorry. Ah should we.. I don’t know, go for a walk?” Wally suggests rubbing the back of his neck.

“That sounds nice, actually can we start outside.” Y/n asked.

“Of course, come on I’ll show you the football field.” Wally says excitedly.

…

Wally took y/n out to the field, but he couldn’t help but wonder, we’re they on a date?. Like does them going for a walk and chatting together count as a date. Eventually the two stopped at the five yard line, and took in the scenery, glazing at the moon and all the stars .

“Do you spend a lot of time out here, Wally?” Y/n questioned

“ not as much as you would think. I do like being in the library, theirs always new stuff to read in there. Sometimes I just go to the cafeteria and just watch the student, you know, see how things keep changing year after year.” Wally explains.

“You died in 84, didn’t you?”

“Ah yeah… how’d you know.” The boy asked.

“ well I remember sitting at a game one night and I saw the score board and thought. Who the fuck is this Wally Clark guy? So I googled you. But it never said how you died.”y/n says.

“Oh I was layed out in a tackle on the five yard line. Right where you’re standing actually.”

Y/n instantly took a step back, “shit sorry” she gave Wally an apologetic look.

“It’s ok, they’ve re-grassed this field so many times since then, I doubt there’d be any trace of me left.” Wally gave a light chuckle, but to y/n it seemed forced. “Anyway… here lay down.” Wally encouraged y/n lay on the field and look up at the sky.

It was quiet as they both scanned the flickering light of the night sky, until Wally turned his attention to the girl next to him. He studied her profile, the shape of her nose, how soft her lips looked under the moon light, the way her eyelashes fluttered when she would blink.

Out of the corner of her eye, Y/n noticed Wally staring, again. “You know you have a really bad staring problem, Wally.” Y/n states still looking up at the moon.

Wally immediately turns his head back to the sky. “Sorry.”

The air fell silent again, the only thing y/n could here was the sound of Wally’s soft breaths. It was her turn to stare, y/n looked at the kind boy next to her, he had been so sweet and helpful to her, and under the moon light she wondered why she hadn’t noticed how handsome he was before.

Wally turns and meets Y/n eyes. “ now who’s the one staring” they both chuckle before falling silent again, gazing at each other intently. Wally briefly glanced at the girls lips, only for a second and began to lean closer.

“Who’s that?” Both ghosts jumped apart at the sudden noise.

“Jesus, Dawn. Don’t sneak up on people like that.” Wally sighs.

“Oh I’m sorry, Wally. I just wanted to know who this lovely girl is.” Dawn apologises.

Wally sighs in annoyance “Dawn this is Y/n, Y/n this is Dawn.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Y/n says

“ you too. Did you die during practice?” Dawn asks.

“Practice?”

“Basketball practice, I just thought because of the shorts and the shirt..”

“Oh no these are from lost property, I died in the showers.” Y/n explains.

“Oh my. Well I’m sure one of the ghosts around here can sew, maybe we can make you some new clothes.” Dawn suggests.

“Really! That would be great.” Y/n smiles then looks at Wally, who seems slightly annoyed, “ you don’t mind, do you Wally?”

“No of course not, I’ve got stuff to do anyway.”

“Great” Y/n stands up and begins walking with Dawn back inside the school. “ Hey, Wally I’ll see you later ok.” Y/n shouts from the door.

Wally gives a thumbs up as the girls go inside. Laying back down on the field Wally sighs, asking himself so many questions. Why did he ever think that could of been a date? Why is he so attached to a girl he just met? What is he feeling? Is this what falling in love feels like?

…

#wally clark x reader #wally clark #school spirits #milo manheim #wally clark fanfiction #wally clark x y/n

[katapotato55]

How to write a good metaphor

yall seemed to like my post on "how to write good horror" so i figured i should make another one of these.

1- do. not. explain. the. metaphor.

don't.

"oh but how will the audience know my deep and meaningful message- "

SOME PEOPLE WONT GET IT. if you explain what you mean then suddenly the metaphor won't be deep anymore. it becomes a generic forced message.

i know you are tempted to make a character infodump about everything, fucking don't.

followup on this:

2- a good metaphor should potentially have multiple interpretations.

"but i don't want people to get the wrong impression of the story!"

then you either need to make damn sure its an elegantly written metaphor, or none at all. the death of the author is the idea that everyone has their own vision of a story they read, rearguards of authors intent. you need to come to terms with this or else you won't improve your writing skills.

you need to trust that your audience is intelligent enough to understand the metaphor on their own without bashing them over the head with it. sometimes people misunderstand meaning, it is a fact of life.

The game little inferno was thought of as a metaphor about pollution, in which later the creators went out to say it was actually about capitalism and wasting your life with things like exploitative mobile games. you just need make it SUBTLE and hope for the best.

3- The story/gameplay/etc should inform the metaphor(and sometimes reference real life examples)

To mention little inferno again, the "you must wait x amount of time for in-game item to be given to you" is a mirror of mobile games in the real world that use timers to leach money from you.

another example: analogue horror.

broken old technology is scary on its own, but many good analogue horror artists tend to use this to the advantage.

analogue horror can be used as a metaphor for dying trends and technology, like how in the 30's through 70's we used asbestos in the walls. Analogue horror makes a great parralel to this idea (see Blue_channel by gooseworx for a good example.) . the audience questions WHY this is on an old CRT tv and not just a smartphone, perhaps to imply this was an event that happened years ago.

undertale is another example, where most RPG's encourage you to fight and to level up, undertale uses this as a simple metaphor about obsessive control and being cruel to get an arbitrary achievement (i recommend the escapist's video on "why i didn't review undertale" on youtube for way better examples)

tldr: a metaphor is stronger if you lightly reference real life occurances and implement your metaphor in the medium presented.

4- the curtains are blue because they are blue.

not everyone is going to understand your metaphor

and not everyone is going to notice every single little metaphor you add to your story.

remember those teachers that would constantly stretch to imply something in a story is a metaphor and that the curtains are blue because of some deep metaphor for death and sadness and shit?

those teachers are full of it. ignore them.

metaphors are allowed to be simple. not every metaphor needs to be a hyper deep depth defying world changing thing. I could even argue a bunch of small metaphors connected to each other can be better than one big metaphor depending on your story.

relax. don't think too much about it because your average audience member won't.

5- study movies, tv, books, games, etc and understand why their metaphors work.

don't fall into that "the curtains are blue because of a deep message" English teacher mindset mind you.

"but how do i tell what is and isn't a metaphor?" you may ask

simple. trust your gut. you won't understand everything you come across but the human brain has a way of telling what is and isn't a metaphor in stories.

(spoiler about bugsnax)

I could argue Bugsnax is a metaphor about drug abuse and addiction. The characters have personality traits commonly associated with people vulnerable to drug addiction. An athlete, a hippy, a married couple going through a rough spot in their marriage with the threat of divorce, a mentally ill person with trauma and paranoia, etc.

It isn't obvious, many people may disagree with me, but you can't deny that there are signs i may be right.

(end of spoiler) the point i am trying to make: don't stretch to find a metaphor when you don't see one. if you are curious google other people's theories and make your own opinion. metaphors are hard and you will learn over time. and finally 6- do not ever do "it was all just a dream" or "the character is secretly in a coma" etc this applies to writing in general but it is still related to metaphors. the only time i have seen this done well is driver san francisco, but what it did right was A- make it so the players can guess ahead of time the mystery, such as the radio saying voices of your character in the hospital, or if you zoomed out you could hear a heart monitor. and B- it didn't completely un-do the entire story. that is my core issue with this trope. it either wastes your time un-doing the entire story readers worked hard to finish, or it is just nonsensical and terrible. "dora the explorer is actually in purgatory!" "spongebob is a metaphor for the 7 deadly sins!" "ash is in a coma and that is why he never ages! " ooooor it is a cartoon and you are forcing meaning that doesn't exist in something that doesn't even imply it. the world being a bit weird is not enough to be a metaphor for anything. If you want to make a good metaphor: do more effort than just slapping a lazy "it was all a coma" thing at the end. Like horror, stuff like this needs to be built up properly. also consider authors intent. I understand death of the author and all of that, but do you really think a retired marine biologist made spongebob to be a complex metaphor about sinners in hell ? (rip Stephen Hillenburg btw. we didn't deserve him.) thank you for reading, hope this helps. and please, learn to understand the tropes of metaphors before you attempt to make the story of a generation. edit- adding a couple more things i forgot 7- "the darkness is going to destroy the land or whatever!" i see this used all the time. spooky wookey dark shadowy bits going to destroy a land and is the hero's generic bad thing to fight. stop it. it is not a deep and complex metaphor about depression or whatever the hell you are on about. its lazy and stupid. 8- a story should stand up on its own regardless if audience members understand the metaphor or not I don't like Gris. it is a very pretty game with lovely visuals But also the entire story is just the main character moping about artistically and shit and go on about how artistically sad and dramatic this all is. if i don't understand the story without understanding the metaphor, then your story and your metaphor sucks. an example of a metaphor done well: spiritfairer without the metaphor, it is a simple game about running a traveling boat. even if you didn't care too much about the deeper meaning it is a cute story and the gameplay is fun (spoiler) if you look deeper, it can also be taken as a metaphor about greif and learning to accept your loved ones will one day die. things like the boat being filled with empty houses you can't remove is a good example of this. (end of spoiler) your story needs to stand up on its own to be good. don't use a metaphor as a crutch.

#writing #writing advice #writing tips #classic horror #horror #analogue horror #bugsnax #little inferno #zero punctuation #creative writing #fanfiction #fanfic #film #comics #videogames #movies #bad writing #bad writing advice #metaphors #metaphor

[just-antithings]

proshippers r funny to me because of the degree to which yall just lie. "we always tag our content correctly" no the fuck you dont ive been in the world you cannot trick me, trying to filter out all the ""shotacon"" when i still used ao3 was a nightmare because even when it wasnt split between 2293809 different euphemisms which changed frequently as everyone else started realizing "old man/younger man" was being used for like a 6 year old kid instead of age gaps between adults which outside of your roleplay most people do have a different stance on than pedophilia, and people constantly just posting 5 yr old/20 yr old porn ageddown porn of canon adults with zero relevant tags. this has been my experience in all of fandom, telling a proshipper that they need to avoid posting untagged graphic rape porn in tags for shounen is apparently as painful as having your leg sawed off from how people react to it. you have posts insisting that it is at all reasonable for an ao3 user who doesnt want to see pedophilia should simply filter out every possible shotacon ship which is what i did so i can tell you thats incredibly unreasonable because that number is generally in the thousands, doesn't count as "tagging correctly", and also DOESN'T WORK because again people will just not tag shit or do agedown porn without tagging it so you can be in the tag of a ship for characters who are 50 and 60 in canon when lo and behold AU porn where the older one is babysitting the younger one and theyre 20 and 10, no tags except "Au - babysitter". like tbc i do think that even if you have the minimum balls to tag your adult raping a kid porn "pedophilia" you should still be criticized for that which i know the main conceit of the anti anti movement is pretending is worse than murder, but its wild how often people let yall just lie that tagging correctly is the universal or even a common standard. thats not even getting into the fact that ao3 doesn't let you select tags to automatically filter so you have to type in every individual tag you want out every single time you do a search. but no everyone should have to spend 4 hours theorizing every possible way you could weasel words your way around describing an adult having sexual intercourse with a child and then individually type em all in just so they can see read old men fucking without one of them being turned into a middle schooler. like with every other anit anti talking point it runs into the ultimate problem that yall are lazy assholes who are in this community in the first place because youre so allergic to compassion you can only tolerate people esp children if youre jacking off to them and so any measure yall claim you take for the good of others is ultimately a lie. also i still havent forgotten all those times you defended irl pedophilia or that one time you said you had a kneejerk reaction to discredit someone talking about a case study of irl csa by defending the pedophile and blamed "antis" instead of the fact that you spend all day every day defending being attracting to children. which is much worse, obviously

#mod erin #ask #fan mail #you can report improperly tagged fics anon #csa mention #pedophillia mention #murder mention #shotacon mention #rape mention #child rape mention #ao3 discourse

[fanfictilltheend]

You should see me in a crown - Chapter 5 (Y/N Grimes/Negan Smith)

AO3 LINK

Chapter 4 // Chapter 6

Masterlist

A/n: Thanks for reading! Let me know if you want more. Also, I haven't written in this verse in literally years so I hope it feels cohesive. Let me know! I have one more chapter planned but not written yet so it may take a lil while. If you guys want more than that you have to let me know. Also, I have a Joel miller x reader in the works requested to me on tumblr. We have made it to 15 followers on tumblr lmao come join in the squad! Y/N is like 20 in this and Negan is whatever age he is in season 7 so if that’s too much of an age gap please turn back!

Warnings: 18+ smut do not interact if not 18+ afab!you, daddy kink, kissing, age difference, abusive!Rick Grimes, protective Negan, sexual touching, oral sex, multiple orgasms, cumming untouched, facials, attempted orgasm denial

Summary: Negan expresses doubts and things look grim for a while until they don't.

When I wake up the next morning, Negan is gone from the bed. I figure he's probably busy running an empire, so it makes sense, but part of me is still a little sad I'm alone. I have imagined waking up in his arms so many times it feels a little disappointing to be on my own.

So I put on my clothes then enter into the living room area and there’s Negan eating breakfast and reviewing some maps at the dining table. He’s wearing these black reading glasses that make him look very sexy in my opinion. 

He looks at me, lowering his glasses on the bridge of his nose, then back to his maps. He doesn't greet me. 

That’s strange. 

“Hey,” I say. “Are you mad at me or something?”

“What?” he asks breaking into a smirk, but his expression is distant. “Mad at ya? What makes you think that?”

Maybe I'm just overthinking things, but something in his vibe is definitely different. He's looking at me guiltily like he's my teacher about to tell me I'm failing tenth-grade English or something. Not like a guy who wants to fuck me.

“Nothing,” I mumble, forcing the thought away. “So what are we doing today?”

“I was thinking,” he begins, avoiding my eyes. “I think it’s time to get you back to Alexandria.”

“ What?” I spit, feeling like I've just been socked in the chest. I don’t believe this. “After everything I told you about Rick you think that's a good idea?”

“What? No, not like that,” he replies dismissively. “I’d beat the shit out of him first to get him to leave you alone and all and I’d always be there to reinforce the idea, but then I think you should get home to your family after.”

“Did I miss something?” I ask, thinking he’s kidding. “I thought it was cool to stay here for a while…”

I try to sit down in his lap, but he frowns and pushes me away lightly.

What the fuck?!

“Shit, do you not like me anymore?” I ask incredulously, so deeply hurt by his rejection I don’t even tear up. “I mean, are you embarrassed by me or something?”

“Listen, Y/N, I’m not one to beat around the bush: I'm ending things between us,” he says softly, avoiding my eyes. “It’s for your own goddamn good too, believe me.” He narrows his own eyes when he sees the disbelieving look on my face. “I mean we’re mortal fucking enemies for Christ sake!” 

“That can’t be the reason!” I nearly shout, absolutely flabbergasted at this turn of events. “You didn’t care about that yesterday!” I shoot back, still not fully believing him. “This is bullshit. I know you like me.”

“Do you?” he asks in amusement, but perhaps also cruelly. “Yesterday you thought there was a distinct chance I was a goddamn evil supervillain who was manipulating the shit out of you to get to your dear old dad. Maybe that’s all this was.”

I swallow, studying his face. Is he telling the truth? He can’t be, can he? I know what we’ve been feeling is real, right? I’ve never liked someone as much as I’ve liked him. But then something clenches in my stomach.

“Is that why you won’t all-out fuck me?” I ask, dejectedly, my heart now in my throat. “Or let me see your dick? ‘Cause you never really liked me?”

That would make sense. Maybe he really did play me. I’m crying now too, my lip trembling. Tears are streaming down my cheeks. That’s just fan-fucking-tastic. But it would explain why he’s been so slow to have sex.

“Hey, don’t fucking cry!” Negan exclaims, panic and guilt covering his features. And then his light eyes turn into an even worse expression: pity. “We’ve only had a thing for like a couple of days! You can’t like me that much. What about your merry band of Alexandria men? The ones who wanna fuck you and all. How about them? What do you have to cry for?”

“Fuck you,” I say, rubbing the tears from my eyes. “I made them up. There are no guys back at Alexandria who want to fuck me. I made them up to make you jealous. Because I like you, okay? You make me feel so safe and special. I don’t believe you could fake how nice you’ve been to me. But tell me right now it was all fake and I’ll b-believe you I guess. I’ll leave you the fuck alone. I respect boundaries…”

I am straight-up ugly crying right now like a little kid and I wipe my nose on my sleeve, sniveling. Be more pathetic! I think to myself. But that asshole really did hurt my feelings. 

“Maybe I happen to believe you’d be better off without me,” Negan begins slowly in his deep, gravelly voice, not really meeting my eyes. “Maybe I believe I’ll hurt someone as genuine as you.” He looks up at me. “I’m an asshole, Y/N, what can I say? I have five wives. And you’re just this kid with a shining light in her. I’d kill anyone who lays a finger on you and I’d never fucking live with myself if I hurt you or put that light out.”

Oh. So that’s what this is about. He’s scared of hurting me. I’m flattered, but he really is a fucking idiot!

“So then don’t hurt me,” I tell him. “It’s that simple. I mean, you asshole, breaking up with me — whatever this is — hurts so fucking bad. Don’t do it. And choose not to hurt me in the future. And then keep making that choice. You’re a smart and capable man. I think you can treat me right if you try. And what am I? Some of grandma’s fine fucking China? I can take a little heartache if need be. I’m not a pussy and you said it. And here’s the last thing I’ll say about this: you’re catching feelings for me. I know it. I see it in your eyes.”

He blinks at me funny and I know I’m right.

“Need to get your eyes checked then,” he mocks stubbornly.

“Fuck you, don’t push me away because you’re afraid,” I tell him.

“Fine,” he relents with a sigh. “Let’s just say, you may have a smart little brain in that hot fucking head of yours,” he admits, uncrossing his arms. “Maybe I am falling a little too fast. And maybe it fucking terrifies me.”

Aw, that’s actually really sweet! I knew the feelings I’m feeling weren’t one-sided. I wonder just how deep he’s fallen because I know I am head over heels. He just had to be a dick about it though…

“I haven’t felt this way since…” he trails off.

“Since Lucille?” I finish for him. 

“Fuck. How’d you know, kid? It’s like you can read my goddamn mind. But yeah, since Lucille. She was a real spitfire, same as you. Only you’re a bit softer and sweeter. She would have liked you…” he trails off again, looking distantly into the past and over his bat which is lying on the chair next to him. 

“I’m sorry for your loss, Negan,” I tell him honestly. “I bet I would have liked her too.”

He reaches out a big hand and ruffles my hair and I swat his hand away, grinning stupidly. 

“So now that we’ve got that angsty shit out of the way, you won’t try to send me home now, right?” I ask. “And you’ll kiss and touch me again ‘till I can’t breathe?”

He looks like he’s trying to resist, but pats his lap and I sit in it, my heart beating quickly.

“Maybe just maybe you’ve convinced me to let this shenanigan continue,” he breathes into my ear and I shiver.

“Apologize for scaring me,” I command, grinding down on his lap.

He grunts in surprise and starts to get a little hard. 

“I’m not big on apologies,” he tells me cockily. “Plus maybe you scare me a little.”

“In a good way?” I ask, grinding down on him again.

“In what I now think is a very good way. And maybe I’ll make it up to you right now for failing to see it from the start.”

He reaches his hand down my pants and starts rubbing my clit and I let out a whine.

“You know what would really hit the spot?” I ask as he works me, trying not to sound so absolutely wrecked by him. “And would prove your undying devotion to me?”

“What’s that?” he asks cockily, sticking a rough finger deep inside me and I moan. His finger is so big and fills me up so much compared to one of mine. 

“If I could see your cock?” I whimper as he begins to finger me at an earth-shattering pace, in and out.

He grins.

“How do you ask, baby?”

“Please, Daddy can I see your cock?” I ask nicely. 

He reaches his other hand down and undoes the button on his khakis and pulls out a very hard-looking dick. I may not have seen too many dicks in my day, but I do know a nice one when I see it. It is long and girthy and the reddish head is nearly purple. Goddamn. My mouth waters. 

“Can I touch it?” I whine eagerly, now soaking wet. 

“There’s my dirty girl,” he chuckles. “But not until you cum.”

“Well then get to work!” I challenge, grinding into his fingers, dripping down into his lap.

“With pleasure,” he chuckles. “Ride my fingers, baby.”

He rubs my clit some more with his thumb and then curls his finger deep inside me. I practically seize.

“Jesus,” he laughs, his eyes lighting up. “All this for just one finger?”

“And your dick,” I remind him, moaning. “How about another finger?”

“So greedy," he chuckles in approval. "But anything for you, baby girl.”

He does as he’s told and I feel so good and turned on I’m going to cum soon.

“Now, tell me what you like about old Negan Jr,” he commands, licking the shell of my ear, stroking his cock. “Since you were so goddamn eager to see him.”

“Do you mean your dick?” I snicker incredulously.

“At least I don’t call it my goddamned ‘meat wand’ or my ‘quivering’ fucking ‘manhood’ like I bet you read in some of those romance novels I saw in your bedroom. That could be arranged.”

“Shut up!” I snort, wanting to ask him how he knows so much about romance novels. “Keep fingering me, asshole,” I say because he’s stopped. He starts up again, hitting just the right spot. I let out a low moan. “But I’ll bite. Your cock is so hot and big, Daddy. I don’t know if it will fit in me.”

“You are very tight, princess,” he agrees, adding a third finger, pushing in and out of me so fast I see stars.

“And it looks like it will stretch me so well,” I whimper. “Can’t wait to suck it.”

Negan groans.

“Can I touch it now, please?” I whine, dangerously close to the edge.

“Not until you cum on Daddy’s hand. Go on, baby girl,” he tells me fondly. 

He fingers me so hard and so fast I lean back into him and cum with a small sob, and he doesn’t stop until I am an oversensitive, spasming mess. 

“N-negan!” I moan desperately, only a puddle of a human being at this point.

But even then he doesn’t stop, grinning a wicked grin, and I am riding over the edge again and I cum twice around his fingers as he hits that perfect spot inside of me, letting out a little scream.

“Jesus, sweetheart,” Negan grins in my ear as my body stops its spasming. “That was so hot.”

“That’s the first time I’ve cum from you,” I remark, panting. “But not the first time I’ve cum because of you. That felt so good, Negan. Way better than when I touch myself. Can I touch you now?”

“Anything for my dirty girl. Go on,” he teases as I look into his dancing hazel-brown eyes. 

I reach down between my legs and stroke his throbbing cock and the soft flesh is hard as diamond. 

He groans deeply, smiling at me stupidly.

“I’ve been waiting so fucking long for that,” he tells me. “Wanted it to be just right for you.”

“Me too,” I agree. “But it always would have been just right. Don’t you know?”

I spit into my hand and start working his cock and Negan moans appreciatively into my ear and my heart pounds deliciously.

“Feels so good, angel,” he whines in my ear. Precum is leaking down my fingers. The shaft and fat head are so swollen. I love when he calls me that.

“Can I put you in my mouth, Daddy?” I ask, reaching down to touch myself, even though I am so spent. Heat still surges between my legs.

“Are you sure, baby? Don’t wanna make you lift a finger,” he tells me seriously. “This is allegedly my apology to you.”

“Who said this was for your benefit?” I ask. “Plus maybe I like spoiling you too.”

“Well, aren’t you a goddamn sweetheart. If you insist…Fuck!” He groans as I get between his knees and bring the warm head to my mouth. “Shit, Y/N, I’m not gonna last if you keep sucking me like that. Taking me so well…” 

I am so wet between my legs. He tastes so good and those hot little moans and groans he makes against me are driving me insane. I take as much of his length as I can fit in my mouth which is about three-quarters. The rest I jerk with my hands.

“I’m close, baby,” Negan grunts. “God, just looking at you. Can’t remember the last time I was this fast to cumming. But watching you cum from my fingers alone, twice no less. That just tickles my fucking balls! Literally. Fuck!” he grunts. 

And just as he’s about to cum, I think, I pull off of him completely and squeeze his cock.

“Y/N?” he asks desperately, staring down at me, thrusting his cock into midair. “What the flying fuck—“

“Think you get to act like you’re leaving me and then cum? Dream on.” I announce, playing him at his own game, getting back at him from before. I let go of his cock. 

Negan starts to laugh, but then his face contorts into a look of utter reverence and he cums anyway, untouched, squirting cum all over my face. That asshole!

Looks like I fucked up the timing or maybe he’s just that in control of his body...Goddamn.

“Oh my god!” Negan laughs through panting, when he calms down a little, his mouth wide open. He looks awed, almost starstruck. “That wasn’t on purpose, I swear! You’re just that hot I couldn’t fucking help it I guess!” 

He throws his head back, snickering with laughter as I wipe cum out of my eye. 

“You’re so fucking adorable I can’t get enough of you. Literally. First, you give me an amazing blowjob, and then you think you can play my game? But you just weren’t fast enough, baby. I love it! I told you no one will ever be as bad as me. Oh, come on, lighten up.”

“Maybe I’m smiling under all this jizz…” I say. “You wouldn’t know though. Now, help clean me off, you complete motherfucker.”

His eyes soften down at me and he takes off his undershirt to clean me up. He pulls me up into his lap, against his bare hairy chest.

“You’re a sweetheart. Truly.” He tells me. I lean against him so tightly I can hear his heart beating, not wanting to ever let go. “That’s part of why you scare me so much. I’m sorry I was a dick, alright? That shit about sending you home was dumb of me to even suggest when I care about you as much as I do. I think I just don’t know how to deal with how I feel about you, Y/N. It’s new for me.”

“You’re also just a dick,” I point out. “But I appreciate the sentiment.”

“Haven’t cum like that in ages,” he tells me seriously, his voice vibrating through his body against my ear. “Just from looking at someone like that. You’re so beautiful, baby. Can’t believe you thought you could play me! But God, you looked so pretty with my cum on your face,” he muses. “That image is going in the spank bank for sure. Even if you ditch me for my dick behavior. It’s gonna be in the motherfucking spank bank hall of fame.”

“You’re so gross,” I inform him. “And a dick and a jerk and an asshole, but somehow I still like you. So I guess I’ll take you back.”

“Who said you ever let me go? I’ve got you fuckin’ wrapped, baby.”

He leans down to kiss me long and hard and I positively melt into his mouth and I know he’s right.

“Negan!” Simon suddenly calls from another room. I look up and sit up straighter and so does Negan. “Bossman, we have a goddamn visitor. You’ll never guess who it is…”

A/n: Can you guess who it is???? Feedback please or just leave a like or reblog if you enjoyed!!!!!! Chapter 6 will be coming soon but I have to finish writing it and know that people actually want me to post it.

Chapter 6

Masterlist

#negan x you #negan #negan smith #my fic #negan fanfiction #negan fanfic #negan/you #negan x reader #negan/reader #y/n grimes #rick grimes #negan x oc #the walking dead #twd negan #twd #negan smut #negan imagine #fanfiction #ao3 #twd simon

[americas1suiteheart]

I love your works! I was wondering if you could do a Kyle Broflovski x Reader preferably a gender neutral reader that's kind of a nerd and that has been friends with the main four since 3rd grade? Aged up characters of course. Thank you>_< ♡♡♡

Why yes of course I can, I hope you enjoy it!

(don't fucking read this if you somehow come across it please.)

Nerds

[Kyle Broflovski x Nerdy! Reader]

[Summary; Y/n's been friends with the boys since early primary school. Their best friend was Kyle and being that the two of them were the brains of the friend group, they were able to connect easily because of it.]

[Warnings; Some swearing, also the fact that its kinda really bad]

[Notes; All characters are aged up, Y/n and the rest are 16-17 years old in their Junior Year. Also, I wrote Kyle as a major overthhinker and I have no clue if it was right to do so💀]

"God why on earth do they make this shit so hard. Y/n, Kyle, can you help me with this?" Stan groans, putting his pencil down as he tiredly looks to the two of you.

You, Stan, and Kyle were all at Stan's house to study and do homework, but mostly so you and Kyle could help Stan if he needed it. Kenny had to work at his job and Cartman complained about not wanting to spend precious afterschool time just doing extra work, so it was just you three.

"You're really having trouble with that? Its simple algebra." Kyle looks at Stan, chuckling lightly.

"Oh come on, lay it easy on him, Kyle. His brain doesn't have the capacity to understand as quickly, its not his fault," you say jokingly.

"Just because you two nerds are in calculus already doesn't mean you get to talk all this shit." Stan groans once more.

"We're just kidding dude, of course we'll help," You get up from your spot on the bed next to Kyle and walk over to Stan's at the desk table. "Okay, what is it exactly that you need help with?"

"Uh, problems 8, 12, and 16. The rest of them I've already done but these three are hard," Stan points at the questions he's having trouble with and leans back into the chair.

"Okay, let's start with 16, that one is easier to do then the other ones. Alright, 'Write 2⁵= 32 in logarithmic form,' okay the 5 in the exponent itself is the logarithm, so you write that 5 down and then you should have 5 equals to log, bringing that 2 down to the base, and then putting the 32 right next to it. So after that you should get 5=log(2)32, did that make sense?" You explain as simply as you can.

"That makes so much more sense now! Is that how it is with 12 as well?" Stan exclaims happily.

As you continued helping Stan with his work, Kyle just watched. He felt a twinge of hurt and jealousy in his chest. 'They're so close to him, why can't they ever be that close to me? Do they like him? There's no way they like him, he has a girlfriend,' Kyle thoughts ran rampant as he zoned out staring at the two before being snapped out of his thoughts by Stan and you shaking him by the shoulder.

"Yo dude you okay? You spaced out for like 2 minutes, we've been trying to get your attention for ages now dude," Stan says taking his hand off of Kyle.

"Oh, um yeah I'm fine. Sorry about that I was thinking about something." Kyle turns red from embarrassment and looks to his side to try and hide his face.

"Alright man, but we need your help on the last thing. Y/n didn't understand it either so we figured you probably would," Stan said looking down at Kyle as he was standing up and Kyle was still on the bed.

"Yeah sure, what is it?" Kyle says walking to the desk to look at the problem on the worksheet that Stan is pointing to with his pencil. "Alright, let's see, 'write a quadratic equation that has the roots 2±4i ,' jeez dude, you sure you didn't sign up for an honors course in this class?" Kyle looks at Stan with his brows knitted together.

"I think we should just cheat and look it up on the internet, man." Stan says in defeat.

"No, no. We're not doing that we'll figure it out." You say taking a pencil and a spare piece of paper.

"Y/n, as much as I don't want to cheat either, I have no fucking clue what the answer to that could possibly be and neither do you, I think we should just look it up." Kyle puts a hand on your shoulder, a look of defeat on his face.

"No way, where's the fun in that? I'll figure it out just give me a bit." You turn away and begin writing the problem down on the other piece of blank paper.

Kyle admired your dedication to not stoop as low as to cheat but he knows your stubbornness wouldn't allow you to do anything else until you figured it out. He loved that about you but worried for your well-being because of it too.

"Can I at least help?" Kyle asks, leaning into your side as to get your attention a little better.

"Totally, but if you fall asleep or get bored I'm not going to urge you to help." You scooch over to make room for Kyle do he could sit in the chair with you to help.

"I'm gonna go get something to eat and watch tv, you two nerds can figure that out." Stan then exited his room and left the two of you alone.

You continued to work on it for the next 2 hours, you were almost done with the equation until you felt a weight on top of your head and heard light snores. You look at the clock on the desk to see its around 12 am now, Kyle had either fallen asleep from the work or the time.

Honestly, you were freaking out. You'd liked Kyle since you were a kid and the two of you had never been this close before, and you two were practically attached to the hip as kids.

You continued to finally finish the equation with Kyle literally sleeping on top of you without waking him but he evidently did as you shot up from your slumped position in happiness of finishing it.

Kyle shot up along with you, nearly falling off the shared seat.

You excitedly grab Kyle by the shoulders shaking him to be more awake, "Kyle I finished it! (x-2)^2+16=0 is the final answer!" You exclaim.

"Really? Holy shit you're righ, you finished it Y/n!" Kyle says as he looks at the now full piece of paper, filled with all the proper formulas.

"God can you guys be any louder? You're so lucky my parents aren't here right now, they would kick your guys' ass if they caught you being this loud at this time. You're lucky Shelly is out of the house too." Stan groggily says as he re-enters his room, walking towards the two of you.

"We figured it out, Stan!" You exclaimed as you shot up from the seat.

"You guys get excited over the stupidest shit. I'm assuming you two are staying tonight?" Stan plops down onto his bed in a tired manner.

"Yeah, if that's cool with you of course." Kyle gets up from the seat at Stan's desk and gets his phone which was still sitting on the bed.

"Yeah that's chill with me. You staying too Y/n?"

"Yeah sure, don't know the point of going home at this time around. Want me to get the blankets from downstairs while you get the extra mattress?" You ask Stan.

"Yeah, Kyle help me out with the mattress man," Stan gets up from his spot, motioning for the redhead to follow him.

[Pov change because this is important! Kyle's Pov;]

I follow Stan to his parents bedroom to get the extra mattress, once we're in there he suddenly stops me.

"So when are you finally going to tell Y/n you like them." Stan says in a sort of hushed voice.

"Soon, its just that, I mean I don't know dude what if I end up ruining our whole friendship by telling them? I don't want to risk that dude." I groan.

"You've been saying soon for 2 years now, I think you need to finally grow a pair and say something to them about it. Y/n isn't the type of person to completely cut you out of their life just because you told them you liked them." Stan says, getting the mattress out from under his parents bed as I help him.

"How about I make a deal with you, I'll tell Y/n if you tell Wendy you want her back so you can finally stop bugging me about it, hmm?"

I was just slightly annoyed, Stan can't say anything to rush me and about being a "pussy," because when he first told Wendy he liked her, he threw up on her.

"Fine. Tell them tonight and I'll do the same, unless you're gonna chicken out."

Tonight? He wants me to tell them tonight?

"What the fuck do you mean tell them tonight? Are you insane dude?" I look at Stan wide-eyed, helping him carry the mattress to his room.

Stan simply smirks at me in reply as he sees Y/n sitting on his bed.

I freeze for a second, hoping that they hadn't heard our conversation.

"You gonna just stand there man? Help me,"

"Shit, sorry dude I zoned out for a sec there. Yeah let me just,"

'That was embarrassing, did I just freeze up like that right there? God I feel like an idiot.'

I finish helping Stan put the mattress in his room and onto the floor right by his bed, Y/n then gets the blankets and pillows and places them down on the mattress nicely.

"Alright, I'm gonna go downstairs to the living room and finish up what I was watching before I was interrupted by you guys nerding out," Stan says, in a jokingly rude tone, as he gives me a wink as he walks out the room.

Shit, he wants me to tell them now? If all goes wrong I can just disappear forever, easy, right?

"So... Uh, what have you been up to lately?" I say dryly.

God why did I say that? I sound like an idiot.

"Nothing really, I think you forget I'm kind of a loser and the only people and interesting things I have going on in my life are you and the other boys, though mostly you to be honest," Y/n says, letting out a chuckle.

"I get that. Not too popular myself either,"

"Pshh, you? The Kyle Broflovski? Any kid would kill to be able to hang out with you. And the amount of chicks that like you is insane! Yet you turn them down everytime man, I don't know how you do it." Y/n jokingly says, nudging my shoulder playfully.

"All of those girls are practically all the same, plus I already have someone I'm interested in,"

Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why would you say it like that? You're terrible at dropping hints!

"Oh you do? Who is this lucky person?" Y/n sounded somewhat upset whilst saying it, why were they upset?

Shit, I screwed up, what if I just tell them now, or explain exactly them, maybe I could fix it.

"Well, they're smart, an absolute genius really, then they've got these beautiful e/c eyes and this h/c hair. But I've been friends with them for a while now so I'm a bit scared to say anything to them really." Am I being obvious enough? What if they don't catch on?

"Wow they sound amazing, I think you should definitely tell them, you're a real charmer so no doubt they'll feel the same for you man,"

I take a deep breath, am I really going to follow through with this? I'm in too deep now and it'd be easier to just do it now. "Y'know, I think you're right. Y/n, I really like you. Have for a while now, its eating me up inside everytime to think that if I don't say something anytime sooner someone else might beat me to you." I say keeping eye contact with them.

Y/n simply stayed quiet, I definitely fucked it up now, why the hell did I listen to Stan?

As I'm caught in my own thoughts rushing through my head, a pair of lips attaches themselves to mine suddenly.

I freeze for a second but almost instantly melt into the kiss, taking my shaky hand to caress Y/n's cheek, pulling them closer to me.

"Fucking finally, Jesus guys. But it would be great if you could not do that on my bed right now, I have plans with Wendy later tomorrow and I don't wanna be reminded of this mid hangout." Stan groans.

Me and Y/n immediately pull away and look at Stan standing at the doorway. I could feel the heat quickly rushing to my face and glance to see Y/n's is just as red as mine.

"But I am happy for you two really, glad you finally got the balls to tell them man." Stan says, shooing me and Y/n to get off of his bed.

"Alright, go to bed and don't do gross shit, I'll make you pressure wash that shit." Stan closes the light and me and Y/n lay on the spare mattress together.

This wasn't the first time me and Y/n had shared a bed but this time it felt more nerve wracking. Do I ask them if I can hold them? Should I hold them? Why do I want to hold them? I need to stop overthinking like this man.

You've already told them, they like you back too, just go for it.

I slowly wrap my arms around Y/n and they do the same.

"Goodnight, Kyle," Y/n says, their voice barely above a whisper.

"Goodnight, Y/n," I quietly reply back, placing a soft kiss on their head before drifting off to sleep.

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I think this took me a good week or two to get to and I highly apologize for it, I'll admit that I lost a slight interest towards the end of it because it felt like this would've went on for ages. Anyways, again apologies for it taking so terribly long, I hope you enjoyed reading it though!

Send in your requests for stories! Look at my introduction to see if anything you like is something I'll write, and DM me for further questions!

#kyle brovlofski #kyle broflovski x reader #gender neutral reader #fluff #nerdy reader #south park #south park x reader #sp fanfiction #sp fandom

[shipskicksandgiggles]

I wish you would write a fic where Tony and Rhodes are dating and Peter is somehow oblivious and Harley and Peter are dating and tony is oblivious. But at the same time everyone else in the tower knows about both couples including Rhodes and Harley.

stunning, I love it, I only meant to write a short blurb but alas it's like 1:30am and that did not happen so here you are

prompt: "I wish you would write a fic where..."

Read Better Realizations here on ao3

~~~

Here’s the thing: Peter isn’t dumb. 

Of course Peter isn’t dumb. He’s been Tony Stark’s personal intern since he was 15 years old. He’s at the top of his class. He’s Spider-Man for goodness sake. 

Peter Parker is a certifiable genius. 

That being said, his boyfriend would like to make the case that he is, in fact, very, very stupid. 

Harley loved him, he really did, but there’s only so much of this he can take. 

He explained as much to Rhodey, who had similar views about his own partner. 

“What are we supposed to do with them?” Harley asked tiredly. 

“Pray to whatever gods you believe in that one of them pulls their head out of their ass. Honestly, how do you think I got Tony to realize I was in love with him?”

“I kind of assumed violence was involved. Maybe some skywriting.”

“Smartass. I get why Tony pulled you out of Kentucky.”

“You know damn well I’m not from Kentucky.”

Rhodey waved him off. “You’re telling me this isn’t how you dealt with Peter?”

“They’re more different than you think. If anyone had to pull a head out of their ass, it was me.”

“Internalized homophobia?”

“Oh no, I thought he was dating either Ned or MJ. I was ready to accept that he was dating both of them when he asked me out.”

He snorted. “Okay, so how do you handle Peter being stupid normally?”

“Peter is only ever stupid when he’s concussed. I don’t think this is something I can pick him up and force him to go to the infirmary for.”

“Fair enough. So I guess it comes down to either telling them, or they have to realize it for themselves.” Rhodey got up to throw away his coffee cup. “Back to the Tower?”

It started as study breaks for Harley. Rhodey would come knock on his door and drag him out of his apartment for coffee, and sometimes he would act as a second set of eyes and ears when Harley was working on a particular project. 

Harley graduated last year, but he still got coffee with Rhodey once a month. It was an opportunity to get his mind off work, off the team, and off adult life for an hour or so while they caught up and occasionally talked shit about their partners. 

“Back to the Tower,” Harley nodded. He drained the last of his coffee and tossed it in the garbage bin as they grabbed their to-go bags off the table and walked out the door. 

“You know everyone has a bet going on which one of them figures it out first?”

“Figures. Who does Nat have her money on?”

“Peter.”

“Makes sense. No offense to your husband, but he’s really bad at social cues.”

“No, I know. Peter’s good about realizing things slowly. He’ll get there. And Tony isn’t my husband.”

“Not yet. Maybe Peter will get it when you propose.”

“I say give it a week after that for him to realize it’s not an elaborate friendship thing.”

“Fair enough. How high are the stakes?”

“They add on $5 every week it goes on.”

“Shit. I kind of want in on that.”

“Oh yeah, I wouldn’t get involved, but six months in I caved. We’ll talk to Bruce about getting your name added to the mix.”

“Fantastic. Same time next month?”

“Of course. JARVIS, where are Tony and Peter?”

“I would direct you both to the common floor, Colonel.”

“Thanks JARVIS,” Harley said, hitting the button for the elevator. “You know, we should try that new coffee place.”

“The one a block over?”

 “Yeah, I’ve heard good things.”

“Sure. Is it one of those new age places that shames you for using regular milk?”

“Not sure, but I can always find out. It’s so hard to find places that don’t.”

“I’m glad that lactose intolerance has been normalized, but they’re ruining it for the rest of us.”

“Here, here.”

The elevator slid open to show most of the team huddled in the living area. Most of them because Tony and Peter were both in the kitchen, presumably grabbing snacks before heading back down to the lab where they had been buried themselves that morning.  

Predictably, they dropped everything they were holding as soon as they saw their respective partners. 

Harley braced himself before Peter managed to knock him over. His boyfriend may not be particularly large, but somehow Harley ended up flat on his ass the last time he didn’t prepare for a high velocity hug. He learned quickly that he needed to plant his feet before Peter got to him. 

“Hi sweetheart, how’s your lab day going?”

“It’s good! Tony and I have been making alterations to the suit. How do you feel about lightning webs?”

“Sounds dangerous, please make sure your suit is resistant to electricity and that you won’t kill any of us by accident.”

“Maybe I’ll hold off then. Regardless, we’re getting really close to figuring out a more efficient cartridge for my web fluid. We were about to go back down and keep working on it, but you’re back and I wanted to say hi! How was coffee with Colonel Rhodes?”

“It was good, I brought you back one of those chocolate croissants you like.”

“Oh really? Thank you! I haven’t eaten since before you left, this is my first break.” He took the bag Harley handed him and immediately dug in. 

It gave Harley the change to look over at Rhodey and Tony who were practically on top of each other less than ten feet away. 

Rhodes had also brought home a bag for Tony, a loaf of banana bread that they all knew he wasn’t going to share with anyone. 

They knew neither of them would have eaten much today, so bringing home food was a safe bet. It also meant they weren’t paying attention to anything else, and likely wouldn’t become aware of their surroundings until much later. 

Peter gave him a kiss on the cheek. “You’re an angel.”

“You need to remember to eat, dear. I’m simply reminding you to stay alive. Now go finish gathering your snacks and get back to work. I’ll let you know when to come up for dinner.”

He smiled and gave Harley one last kiss before heading towards the kitchen to retrieve his load from before. 

Next to him, Rhodey was telling Tony something similar. They were human disasters, the both of them.

Still, Peter was quicker, and walked back in just as they were pulling back from a kiss of their own. 

A look of confusion crossed his face. Maybe he was closer to figuring it out than they had initially realized. 

Harley really needed to get in on that bet before he realized. 

Tony took some of the snacks from him, and bid them adieu before making his way to the lab with Peter in tow. 

Then, Peter’s careful question of “hey, how’s Pepper?” floated down the hall, and Harley turned to Rhodes with wide eyes. 

“Oh shit.”

“Oh shit.”

“Bruce!” Rhodey called. “Harley’s in.”

#ellis writes #harley keener #james rhodes #peter parker #tony stark #parkner #ironhusbands #harley keener x peter parker #james rhodes x tony stark #humor #fluff and humor #established relationship

[capttain-emo]

DC fic rec for @tarboyman with my little commentary this time and uhh this is a long one. Edit: enjoy around 800k words of fanfiction muah

The *New* Teen Titans ~ Part 1 ~ Titans Go! by KatScythe Word Count: 77k Chapter(s): 22/22 Summary: THIS IS WHAT 'TITANS' SHOULD HAVE BEEN A new adult revamp of the original 2003 Teen Titans cartoon, starting at the very beginning just like the live action show, with bits and pieces from all the different media versions of the Teen Titans out there, including the original comics. Full of blood and gore and foul-mouthedness, and real consequences to five superpowered idiot teenagers running around beating the shit out of people, blowing stuff up, and causing general mayhem. Five teenagers: each one gifted with amazing power, each one cursed with its burden. An alien ship crashes to earth, and fate draws them together. Five heroes—One team. Titans, GO! My thoughts: It's exactly what it says and exactly what I wanted. I've always been a young justice girl but I love this fic so much

Banshee in A Well by liverobinreaction (bugbee) Word count: 43k Chapter(s): 5/5 Summary: Tim is five years old when he drowns in his parents' pool. He dies quietly, waiting for parents who love him, but will never be there, to realise that something is wrong. They never show up, and he sinks into oblivion. When he wakes up and claws his way out of the water, the sun has set, and the lights of his house are on. He is cold and wet and his lungs burn. But most of all, Tim is alone. (If you die and no-one is there to see it, were you ever alive in the first place?) My thoughts: It's been a while since I've read this and I'm going to reread it for that reason but I remember liking it and it's bookmarked for a reason

Liminal Spaces (Series) by Calamityjim Word Count: 339k Fic count: 12 Summary: Young Justice Batman decides that he is the Superior Partent and Tim Drake ends up along for the ride My thoughts: A classic in the Batfam side of the DC fandom. Tim is a little more fanon than canon but thats ok and I think it works for what the story is

Reverse Robins (Series) by InsaneTrollLogic Word count: 51k Fic count: 5 Summary: Accidental series about the Batfam with Damian as the first Robin. Stories will stand alone. Mood whiplash will be severe. My thoughts: When they say mood wiplash will be severe they are Not joking. I love reverse robin shit so much. My favorites are Placeholder and For the Taking

face the fire by Skrigget Word Count: 9k Chapter(s): 1/1 Summary: “Bruce doesn’t always mean it when he yells, Damian,” Timothy sighs. “He just isn’t good at expressing himself. He is worried about you too, you know. And he is glad we are both safe.” Damian closes his eyes and refuses to cry in front of his rival. Timothy doesn’t comment on it. Instead he places a gentle hand on Damian’s head for a second before he gets up and quietly exists the room again to give Damian his privacy.  Damian is 13 when he meets his father for the first time - the same age as his rival (and brother) Timothy Drake. This changes everything and nothing. My thoughts: I didn't realize how many of these were AU's until I was writing this out but hey these are some of my favorite fics and it shows what I like. A great character study for Damian and his dynamic with Tim that can be applied even in canon

Life with You Makes Perfect Sense by ArthurianScribe Word Count: 10k Chapter(s): 1/1 Summary: When Tim tells Conner that he can't be Robin anymore, Conner decides to take matters into his own hands. Things sort of escalate from there. My thoughts: I have to push my Timkon agenda here ok? I care for them so deeply and this is such a good fic in general

More broken Than I Thought by GodIsZombie Word count: 4k Chapter(s): 1/1 Summary: Something was wrong with the demon brat. And this, whatever this was, is so outside of Tim's wheelhouse. Damian has PTSD. And a bad flashback teaches Tim a little more about his little brother. My thoughts: Short but I love it and reread it often. A good character analysis of Damian and honestly his trauma should be explored more!

In For a Pound (Series) by Cdelphiki Word Count: 286k Fic count: 6 Summary: They say a baby changes everything. How would raising a baby Damian Wayne change Bruce and the Batfamily? My thoughts: Now this author is very popular in the fandom for a good reason. The sixth fic is the most popular with 120k and 36/? chapters.

#sydney speaks #dc #dc fanfic #batfam fanfic #batfam fic rec #dc fic rec #fic rec

[chenziee]

The Scars we carry

@lawluevents - Day 5: Nakama/Healing @onepiece-bingo: Healing/Paradise

Alternate summary: "I'm going to kill all my friends if they don't shut the fuck up (affectionate)" - Trafalgar D. Water Law, 2023

I barely grazed the Paradise prompt from the OP Bingo here ㅠ_ㅠ I planned to make it more about their time in Paradise but Law said "no <3" :(

Also fun fact, I was already done with this fic by the time I realised the "healing" prompt overlapped between lawlu week and my bingo card

[ Read on AO3 | series ]

----------

Straw Hat Luffy had many scars. Small cuts and burns, some old and some fresh, most of them caused by fighting and training.

But, none of them was as big or as impactful as the one on his chest.

Whenever Law saw it, it reminded him of the war three years ago, the war that shook not only the final area of Paradise where it took place, but also the entire world—and he was sure it reminded Luffy of that time as well. 

Law wasn’t there when he got the scar. He wasn’t there when Luffy lost his brother… But he did see what it led to. He saw Luffy at the brink of death, one breadth away from complete destruction—both physical and mental—and he saw the blind destruction the pain caused. Hell, the Tang herself got a few scars as a result and Luffy should be glad Law didn’t demand he pay for all the expensive equipment he had destroyed.

Law was sure Nami would murder her captain if he presented her with the bill.

But… it honestly never even occurred to Law to ask for money. For one, he knew why Luffy had done it, he understood why he went on a rampage, and he only regretted that he didn’t know how to help. He was grateful Jinbe was there to do it for him, to remind Luffy that he still had his crew—people he loved, people who loved him.

 And two, it Law’s his own decision, his own call to go to the war to save him in the first place.

To this day, Law wasn’t entirely sure what had compelled him to go.

Was it really just because of the D. in his name? Because the way he punched St Charlos in the face without a second thought was funny? Because Law enjoyed fighting with him?

Or was it because, unconsciously, Law knew Luffy was the only one who could break the chain Doflamingo had on him and with it, the chain-shaped soulmark on his arm?

Law didn’t know.

And he was glad his crew never really dug into his reasoning. He loved them and all but he would rather kill them all than admit that maybe, just maybe… he simply couldn’t bear letting the kid die.

The knowing look Ikkaku kept giving him during the two weeks of Straw Hat’s treatment was bad enough.

A soft knock on the door to the Captain’s cabin made Law look up, snapping back to reality.

“Come in,” he called out quietly as to not disturb the person sleeping soundly next to him.

A second later, the door slowly opened and Ikkaku came to view, her eyes glued to the papers in her hands. “Captain, we did an inventory check in the engine room and such and we’ve—” she paused suddenly as she looked up, blinking a few times as she took in the sight in front of her.

Law already felt a headache coming before she even said anything.

“You two are so cute,” she said then, biting on her bottom lip and obviously struggling very hard not to start laughing.

Law sighed deeply. He knew she would say that; she always did whenever she stumbled on Law and Luffy spending time together—be it Straw Hat bothering the shit out of Law while he tried to study, Law doing experiments with Straw Hat’s insane metabolism, or right now, when Luffy was sleeping sprawled over Law’s bad like it belonged to him, completely ignoring Law’s personal space and having his limbs thrown all over the place, including Law’s own body.

At least Ikkaku wasn’t as obnoxious about it as Penguin and Shachi always were, although Law had no idea what was so ‘cute’ about this. If anything, Straw Hat needed to wipe the fucking drool off his face because that was disgusting.

“What did you say about the inventory check?” Law asked instead of gracing her comment with a reply.

“Oh right. We’ve got to restock soon, we’re running low on gas and components and some equipment is getting really old and basically useless. I have a list here if you want to check.” She gestured with the papers in her hands in Law’s direction.

Shaking his head, Law declined, “It’s fine. You’re the head mechanic, I trust you did the job right.”

“You just know you wouldn’t know what anything on the list is either way,” Ikkaku said cheekily.

“Straw Hat-ya’s crew’s a terrible influence on you guys,” Law groaned before narrowing his eyes at her. “I’m going to demote you for insubordination.”

“Sure you will.” Ikkaku rolled her eyes, her gaze jumping between Law and Straw Hat, who still snoring away, blissfully unaware of the exchange going on. “Also aren’t we pretty much the same crew at this point?” she finished with a raised eyebrow.

Law wanted to refute her, to tell her she was being ridiculous… but to be perfectly honest, he couldn’t in good conscience disagree with her. They had been spending an unhealthy amount of time with the Straw Hats, considering the alliance officially ended months ago.

“But you know…” Ikkaku said then, her voice much more serious and quiet. “Every time Straw Hat’s here, it reminds me of the war. It’s a miracle he’s so healthy now. Watching him, it’s as if nothing happened.”

Law huffed, his own eyes turning down to look at Luffy’s peaceful expression. For sure, at first glance it seemed that way; but the scar on his chest was there to remind them all… as were the nightmares Law knew Luffy still suffered once in a while. Luffy never talked about them, never even said anything about having them in the first place, and Law didn’t pry—even if he did, he knew Luffy still wouldn’t say anything, claiming it was ‘all in the past anyway’—but he knew the ghosts were there, always lurking in the back of Luffy’s mind to haunt him, to remind him of what he had lost.

And that was okay. It was all a part of the process, the bumps on the road to healing.

At least, that was how Law thought of his own nightmares of Flevance and Minion Island.

“Captain?” Ikkaku asked uncertainly when Law didn’t say anything for a long while.

The corners of Law’s mouth twitched. Yeah, having a good crew, good friends, certainly helped smoothing out the road. He was lucky in that regard—just as Straw Hat was.

“I’m fine,” he said, turning back to look at his head mechanic. “I’ll talk to Bepo about where we can stop to get those supplies.” 

A grin spread on Ikkaku’s lips in response before she turned around to leave. “Thanks! I’ll let you two be adorable in peace now.”

“Fucking—” Law growled, taking a deep breath… but before he could snap at her so shut up, she was gone, the door closed carefully behind her.

Rubbing at his temples, Law thought to himself; he did love his crew to death but sometimes… Sometimes, he wanted nothing more than to maim them.

#one piece #lawlu #trafalgar law #trafalgar d water law #luffy #monkey d luffy #opfanfic #lawlu fanfic #lawluweek2023 #one piece bingo #fluff #tooth rotting fluff #healling #scars #ikkaku #established relationship #soulmate au #soulmates #soulmate identifying marks #katie pretends to fic #chains of fate #chances are high i will write another 'healing' fic eventually #because it feels like cheating having them overlap like this #i don't like this one much anyway ahahaha

[istorkyou]

A Situationship (Modern!Ivar AU)

A Modern!Ivar x OFC

Warning -  STRICTLY 18+. Language. Alcohol use. Fluff

Synopsis - No strings attached. What could go wrong?

Word Count - 3304

Big thanks to @punkrocknpearls​​​ for cheerleading, laying her beta magic all over this and the AMAZING moodboard. Look at it. Look at it now. None of my bullshit would see the light of day if it wasn’t for her, so she’s to blame!

Tag List - Let me know if you want on or off :)

@smears-and-spots @punkrocknpearls​​ @youbloodymadgenius​​ @momowhoo​​ @zuxiezendler​​ @not-another-viking-fanfic-blog​ @ivar-s-my-brat-tamer​ @pieces-by-me​ @heavenly1927​​ @berryonasummerevening @synnersaint​​ @out-of-the-box-and-into-alchemy​ @petite-hime​​ @serasvictoria​​ @mimiiinspace​​ @itsmysticalmystery​​ @lonewolf471​​ @mylifeisactuallyamess​​ @draculasbride-blog​​ @love-all-things-writing​​ @southernbe​​ @redhead7799​​ @kaybee87​​ @ivarlover​​ @ivarhoegh​​ @idgafiamallthefandoms​​ @darkphoenix5037​​ @profoundtyrantharmony​​ @snarling-through-our-smiles​​ @crazyunsexycool​​ @xceafh​​ @bragisrunes​​@noway4u @batmandallyboy​​ @complicatedbutrare @readsalot73​​​​ @meandmycherrytree

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5

------------------------------------------

CHAPTER 6 - Final Chapter

3 YEARS LATER

“IVAR!” She hears MJ shout and the front door slams, making every window in the house shake. “IVAR WHERE ARE YOU?” 

Heading to the stairs she hears Ivar leave his study and follow the shouts of MJs voice.

“I’m here. What’s wrong?” 

Decker comes out and gives her a quick grimace. It’s been a while since there’s been shouting like this in their house. 

MJ found it the hardest when they all moved into their new place, further from friends but not so much that a school change was needed. In general, the transition of Ivar into their lives had been smooth. Mainly. Decker always took everything with a pinch of salt so there were no issues there and Ivar and Decks are thick as thieves now, two peas in a pod. 

“The project that’s what’s wrong! You totally screwed me over! I was relying on that mark to bring up my average!”

“MJ, calm down for a minute. What do you mean I screwed you over?” 

“I got an F. A fail. A big fat fuck all! All because of you! You told me all the wrong shit. All those books you gave me were wrong. My teacher said so!”

As she and Decker enter the kitchen she can see Ivar’s face but MJ’s back is towards them. Ivar’s expression is one of total bewilderment. “MJ what did your teacher say? I read through your coursework, it was completely perfect.”

“I knew I should have picked the bloody Victorians. Stupid Norse bollocks. She said all the Gods were wrong. All the Viking ship detailing was ridiculous, she said all these stupid old rusty weapons around our house are fake and she gave me an F,” MJ starts to sob.

“Your teacher said what? Your teacher’s a moron! Every single bit of information on your coursework was spot on, you researched everything, cross referenced… fucking wrong?!” He glances at her and his face turns from confusion to complete rage. 

“Ivar…” she warns him in a low tone.

“No, love! Absolutely not. MJ, get up. We are going straight to that school and I am going to give your stupid ass teacher a lesson in Norse history. Come on…” he stomps around the kitchen, grabbing his keys and grumbling to himself. “Fucking wrong, no dumb ass teacher calls my kid wrong and gets away with it! Come on, MJ!” 

Every single face swivels to face Ivar, eyes wide and mouths open. 

“Up, MJ… what?” he says when he sees them all staring at him. 

Her heart has almost leapt out of her chest at what he just said, Decker's grip is crushing her hand and MJ looks as stunned as she has ever seen her child look. Her breath is held, waiting for MJ to explode into a torrent of abuse at the words Ivar has just said.

But there is no shouting, she just watches MJ reaching into the school bag and pulls out the coursework. 

Ivar is still looking around at all three of them “Why’s everyone… MJ I will go to that school on my own if I…” 

MJ walks slowly to Ivar. “I was just joking, playing a prank. I got an A+ thanks to you.” MJ launches at Ivar, wrapping arms around him. “You called me your kid.”

It takes Ivar a few seconds to register what’s happening before he hugs MJ back. 

The sight in front of her is something she only hoped for in her wildest dreams and tears stain her cheeks before she even knows they have formed. 

Decks lets go of her hand and stomps up to Ivar and MJ. “Am I your kid as well, Ivar?” 

Ivar can’t speak apparently, he just nods his head firmly and extends his arm out for Decker who runs in for the cuddle quickly. 

As she wipes her tears she sees Ivar’s throat bobbing up and down, trying to suppress his own happy tears. 

MJ pulls away and looks at her. “Jesus Mum, are you crying? You are so cringe. Ivar, would you really have gone to the school all guns blazing?” 

“I would have taken all my “fake weapons” and blood eagled your twat of a teacher, kiddo.” 

“You are so weird, Ivar. Thanks so much for all your help on my project. Right, I'm going to meet Lucy, see you all later.”

“I think you’re cool, Ivar.” Decker chips in.

“Thanks Decks. I think you are cool as well, do you want to go and throw axes at the tree out back?”

“Yeah! I’ll get them!” 

They both watch the youngest run off happily.

He turns his attention to her and holds out his hands. 

“Am I the man or am I the man?” He drawls with a shit eating grin on his face.

“Oh don’t act all cool now! You were about to burst into tears, you big softie!”

“Oh my God I really was, I’ve no idea how I held it together. That might have been the best moment of my life.”

“Mine too. I love you.” She takes his hands and lets him pull her into his arms.

“I love you too,” he whispers against her hair.

---------------------------------------------------------

1 YEAR LATER

Staring at his phone he glances over at Decks and gives him a quick nod.

“Ivar, can you come with me to the Mall? I need new trainers.” 

“Already? I bought you some like two weeks ago.” She looks over the top of her laptop at him. 

“Fine, maybe I just want some new ones.” Decks rolls eyes and glances at Ivar. 

“Come on, Kiddo, I’ll take you.” 

“Ivar, don’t you dare buy anymore bloody trainers, I’m still waiting for Steven to pay me for those.” 

“Window shopping, love, and maybe a burger?” 

Decks give him a high five as they head out the house. 

“Smooth, kiddo. Nice one. We are meeting MJ in thirty minutes, we better hurry.” 

They don’t go to the mall, they go into a village twenty minutes away from their own and meet MJ outside a cute little shop. 

“Ready for this, Ivar?” MJ slaps his shoulder hard. 

“Never been more ready for anything ever.” 

The little bell above the door tinkles as the three of them walk into the jeweller to design the most important piece of jewellery he will ever buy.

--------------------------------------------------------------

“So guys, it looks like we’ve got six weeks until the ring is ready.”

“You better hope she doesn’t realise what a giant dork you are in that time, hey Ivar?” MJ and Decks crack up and all he can do is roll his eyes at the pair of ball busters in front of him. 

“She will like it right, the ring?” 

“She will love it, you’ve done a great job.” MJ says sincerely, for once.

“WE’VE done a great job.” 

“And I still have your guys permission to marry your mum?” 

“Always,” MJ says then throws a middle finger up when Ivar’s eyes get misty. 

“I’m having second thoughts,” Decker admits, eyes on the plate of food. 

Ivar starts to laugh but it dies on his tongue when he looks at Decker’s face. His heart drops into his stomach. He looks to MJ for an explanation but he can see that it's a shock all round. 

“Why’s that, kiddo?” 

Decks takes a big breath in and looks directly into Ivar’s eyes. “It’s not second thoughts really, but I want my dad at the wedding.”

Ivar almost chokes on thin air but he manages to compose himself. 

Ivar and Steven. Oil and water. Ivar thinks the man is a total waste of space but would never, ever tell the kids that. 

They don’t know that they’ve almost come to blows twice over Steven letting them down, over the way he has spoken to her. 

They certainly don’t know that Ivar punched him at Deckers 13th birthday when he walked into the kitchen in her old house to hear Steven telling her he wanted to fuck her one last time, that they didn’t have to tell ‘the cripple’. He got to him before she managed to and for that Steven should have been grateful because she was way more pissed then Ivar was. 

“Okay, Decks, if it is important to you we will extend the invitation out to your Dad and Nancy.” Ivar grits his teeth so hard he’s worried a dentist trip might be necessary.

“Ha! I’m just playing Ivar! I don’t want dad there, you might punch him again.” Decks and MJ fall about laughing and high five each other. 

“Nice one, Decks!” MJ wipes tears of mirth away.

Ivar huffs out a laugh of total relief. “When will you two stop busting my nuts, eh? And I never punched your dad.” 

They both level him with looks as if to say “sure you didn’t.” 

“My fist may have brushed against his cheeks once. Gently.” 

“Sure it did. Anyway that’s whatever. Decks, can you go and get me a refill?” MJ shakes the empty glass at Decker.

“Lazy, get it yourself!” Decker replies. 

“Please, Decks. I need to talk about adult shit. I will fill you in later, I promise. Please.” 

Decker looks between them and grabs MJs glass to head to the counter. 

“Ivar, listen to me. She won’t want a big wedding. You know that, right? When she married dad she always referred to it as “the spectacle”. A day that was for absolutely everyone but her. I heard her over the years talking about it with her friends. Dad made it a big, ridiculous day and she didn’t want it. She wanted it low-key but Dad, being Dad, steam rolled everything and made it this massive to-do.”

Ivar looks at MJ with admiration, never one to shy away from an awkward topic, a carbon copy of his love. 

“She mentioned it. Thanks for telling me. He’s your dad, I’m sorry you heard her talking about him like that.”

“I lived through it, she thinks I was too young but little pots have big ears. I love my Dad, but I’ve always been able to separate him as a father from him as a husband. He’s a bullshit person, don’t try and argue with me Ivar. You are her happiness, outside me and Decks. You are something just for her, and I am so pleased you fought for her. I don’t want you to go into this engagement not knowing what she wants from a wedding. I’ve no doubt you know what she wants from a marriage.”

“Oh, MJ…”

“Don’t cry, Ivar. I cannot handle that level of cringe. I just needed you to know, okay? Wipe your bloody face before Decks gets back, Jesus.”

He does what MJ says and promises he will give her Mum everything she wants. 

-----------------------------------------

EIGHT WEEKS LATER

After four nights away for work she pulls into the drive on Friday evening. She wishes they were having a quiet night together, she’s tired and horny but this evening at Ubbe’s house has been booked in for a couple of weeks and she can’t let them down, it’s a catered dinner for Torvis' birthday.

The house is dark, she shouts for them when she walks through the door but she’s met with silence. 

“Lovely, no one's even here,” she grumps and texts Ivar as she walks up the stairs to their bedroom. Their bed looks so inviting but she daren’t lie down for a second, she knows she won’t get back up.

She is so tired she takes advantage of the custom shower and sits down on the ledge until the scalding water revives her a bit. 

After she’s done she does her usual routine, walking into her closet to pick a dress. Ivar said people are getting suited and booted and she does love an excuse to dress up. 

There’s something new hanging in her closet, covered in a garment bag. She frowns at it before seeing a card stuck to it, her smile grows wide. Ivar likes to do this, he buys her clothes often, always something that clings to her ass. 

She opens the card and the words make her heart beat pick up. 

-Sorry I wasn’t there when you got home. Had to leave early. I missed you so much. This dress will look amazing on you and even better ripped apart on the bedroom floor later. I love you. Ivar x 

She snorts as she unzips the bag to see a champagne coloured halter neck dress with a long slit up the side. Beautiful and elegant. That horny little bastard is absolutely not ripping this dress! 

When she has finished her hair and make up there is still no reply from Ivar so calls him. 

“Hi, Love. Sorry, I didn’t see your message. Having a bit of a crisis here. Did you see the dress? Do you like it?” 

“It’s beautiful, Ivar. Thank you. I’ll send you a picture.”

“No, don't do that,” he says hurriedly. “I want to see it for the first time when you get here, okay?”

“Alright you little weirdo. How Ubbe’s garden looking? Is it decorated as beautifully as it was at Christmas?”

“It’s better, baby. He’s pulled out all the stops this time?” 

“Did he leave stops in last time? Jeez! I can’t wait to see it. Do you know where the kids are?” 

“I just put them in a taxi home, they’ve been here helping out loads. They just need to get changed. Are you almost ready? See you in an hour?” 

“Ivar, are you okay? You sound a bit frantic?”

“I’m fine, just want things to be perfect here.”

“Alright, love. Try and relax, you sound frazzled.”

He laughs. “Will do love, see you in an hour.” 

The kids shout to her when they get home that they are going to change, she comes out of her bedroom in time to see both their doors slam shut. 

Her clock says the taxi will be here in thirty minutes. “Guys, twenty minutes until taxi,” she fibs. She knows her children well.

The wine is giving her a lovely calm feeling when they both walk into the kitchen. 

They look so smart she almost drops her wine on the floor. 

“Ah Mum, you look lovely, that dress is beautiful.” MJ says genuinely

She just looks stunned at them, both in almost matching suits with flares of their personality on them. A skull pin on MJs lapel and Decks has a drum kit embroidered on his. 

“Guys,” she says breathlessly. “You look absolutely amazing! Look at you! Where did you get these suits?”

“Ivar took us shopping for tonight, it’s a big night. For Torvi,” Decker adds quickly, and she is so caught up she misses it.

“Decks, did you wash your hair?” She smooths her hand into her child’s hair. 

A beep from outside breaks her from her daze and both her kids hook their arms through hers. 

“Come on then, Mum. Let’s do this.”

“We are just going for a birthday dinner, not heading into battle. Bloody dramatic, the pair of you!” 

When the taxi pulls up Decks is out of the car and inside Ubbe’s place before she’s even opened her door. 

“What’s the rush?” 

MJ’s eye roll. “Who knows.” 

MJ holds on to her arm as they walk up the steps to Ubbe’s front door and as they reach it Decks wrenches it open with a giant smile. 

She looks at her youngest quizzically then enters the house. 

A white chair is slap bang in the middle of the hallway and no one else is around. When she takes a closer look she recognises the chair. 

“Why the hell is our old conservatory chair in Ubbe and Torvis hallway?” she asks incredulously. 

Both the kids just smirk at her and go and stand either side of it. 

Ivar emerges from the room to the left. “That’s not any old chair, is it, love?” He walks to her slowly and kisses her softly. 

“Hi, love. I missed you,” she tells him, already slightly breathless at his hands on her waist. “You look so handsome in your suit,” she kisses him again to the sound of Decker's mock retching. 

“Turn around, let me look at you in this dress.” 

She smiles at him and does a twirl.

“Beautiful.” He leans in close to her ear, “the ass, love. Perfection as always.” 

“I heard that!” Decks pipes up from his spot.

They both chuckle and make awkward faces at the other.

“What’s going on? Where is everyone?” She asks looking into the rooms either side of the hallway. 

“Outside. Now, love, back to the chair. That's not just any chair, is it? I had it put in storage when we moved to our house.”

“I’m confused, Ivar.”

“Come here,” he holds her hand and leads her to the chair, sitting down heavily on it, whilst holding her hands. 

“This is a special chair, this is the chair that made me start to fall in love with you.”

“I remember,” she says as her mouth twists round at the memory of his stunned face when she first put it in her shower.

“I thought it only fitting to use this chair tonight, in absence of my ability to get down on one knee, to ask you if you will do me the great honour of being my wife?” 

Her jaw drops to her chest. She had no idea this was going to happen, but apparently her children did judging by the look on their face. 

“Yes! Yes! Yes! Absolutely yes!” 

“Mum, get a hold on yourself, you haven’t even seen the ring yet!”

Ivar's face is an absolute picture, the most gorgeous and happy she’s ever seen him look. 

He pulls out the ring box, opening it slowly to reveal the most beautiful ring she’s ever seen. 

“We all designed it, went to a proper jeweller who made it especially. It’s one of a kind,” Decks announces proudly.

Ivar stands up and slips the ring on her finger pulling her to him for a deep kiss. 

“I love you so much. You’ve given me everything I thought I would never have.” 

“I love you too, Ivar. I’ve never been happier.”

She suddenly whacks him on the chest. “Ivar, we’ve totally hijacked Torvis' birthday dinner. Oh God, we're awful people! Let’s wait until tomorrow to tell them.”

“Mum, you are so clever but that’s just dumb, tell her Decks.” 

“This isn’t Torvis birthday party, this is your wedding.” Decks squeals in excitement. 

Her brain doesn’t compute. Total shuts down. What did Decks just say? Wedding?! 

When her eyes finally focus on Ivar he looks uncertain. “Only if it’s ok with you. I know you don’t want the traditional thing, big pomp and circumstance. If you want to, we can walk out into the garden and get married in front of the only people that matter to us. The kids, our close family and some friends.” 

Ivar’s face is different, not the cocky self assured guy she knows, she’s looking at the man from her house all those years ago, putting his heart on the line in front of her and his brothers. 

“Right now?” She chokes out and looks at her children who both nod in the most encouraging way that the tiny sliver of doubt she feels evaporates, leaving nothing but an absolute certainty that she is about to marry the love of her life. 

He wipes her spilling tears and she nods at him. 

He pulls her to him as he lets out a huge sigh of relief. “Let’s do this then, love.”

The four of them link arms and walk towards the closed doors to Ubbe’s garden, ready to complete a beautiful chapter in all their lives

FIN 

(Thanks for reading!)

#ivar #ivar the boneless #ivar ragnarsson #ivar smut #ivar fanfic #ivar imagine #ivar lothbrok #Modern!AU #vikings modern au #modern ivar #modern!ivar x ofc #modern!ivar #vikings au #vikings fic #vikings fandom #MODERN VIKINGS

[forabeatofadrum]

The first El WooWoo of the year! And as the banner says, I’m still reading instead of writing. So here we go. Buckle up, Klainers and ... Snovians (???? is there a name for Snowbaz shippers? This is just Simon. Snowbazzians?) (What would you call Baz fans? Bazzies?).

I am really enjoying these fic rec posts, more than I thought. It also motivates me to read more, which is a win-win. I do have some ideas for Ljubim te again, so I think I’ll start writing them soon. But maybe I will make a separate post for fics, aside from Wip Wednesday and Six Sentence Sunday? Fic Rec Friday?

ANYWAY, buckle up, it’s a long post, so the entire rec + tags will be under cut today!

Some non-fic recs first. Some? One, actually. I am rereading my Kickstarter books for Check, Please! in preparation for the delivery of the Year 4 Kickstarter. I... uh... asked the shipping costs for that campaign as a Christmas gift. But God yeah, I love this webcomic so much. Time to get back to the SMH (Samwell Meme’s Hockey Team).

Up to the fics!

@martsonmars wrote a fic about “consensual biting” between 6 years old: Love Bite. It’s adorable. I love how silly kids can be. And I am a bitch for fics where Lucy lives 😭!

I am catching up on The Rise and Fall of Simon Snow by @confused-bi-queer. I last read chapter 5, and [Jason Mendoza voice] oh Simon and Baz, we’re really in it now. I am upsetti spaghetti.

I am still riding the angst train right into Is It Over Yet? by @jayne89. God I really wish Carmen was actually this good, instead of a plot device for Rachel’s.... uhm... questionable storylines. Really excited for more of this verse.

God, I am really going through it, huh? @thnxforknowingme wrote a 2022 fic in review where she mentioned True Colors, a character study of Quinn between season 2 and 3, and I like the premise. I really enjoyed it. Damn, skank!Quinn had so much potential, but RIB just had to do the wack baby storyline.

This isn’t Jenna’s only fic that I have read. I finally, finally read Miles To Go, and I know a fic this wonderful should have a long and coherent comment, but I am just speechless. So utterly speechless. I started it when it was originally posted, but I had just lost my grandmother and yeah it was the wrong time. Now, we got the message that it’s time for my uncle to collect her ashes. Weird way to go back to a fic, but that’s what happened, and this fic tugged at my heartstrings. I definitely recommend it to everyone.

Also, more Jenna stuff, but insert the Chris Fleming meme here. Was no one ever going to tell me that Jenna has written Hades fic, or was I just supposed to find out by browsing through her AO3 by myself? Aíma.... YOOOO. The relation between Zaggie and blood? Jenna, your mind!

More sad shit? More sad shit! @wellbelesbian really made me say FUCK THE MAGE with the latest chapter of blow on the tinder. Guys, this is such a good fic. Alex, I am so glad you’re continuing it!

Okay, okay, whooo, time out with the angst. @redheadgleek‘s Pierce My Soul is a fluffy gem and I am a bitch for costume crew!Kurt. Although he got promoted here and he designed the costumes, including Blaine’s. There are so many great gems in this fic, but I lost it at Brad Ellis being the piano man. And when the fic mirrored dialogue from the show.... my heart!

I definitely boarded the fluff train now. I saw @letraspal‘s art for @skeedelvee‘s Drunken Kisses. I am all 🥺🥺🥺🥺 about this fic. Simon “He Is Plotting” Snow is amazing. Mix it with Baz “Gay Yearning” Pitch and voila!

@facewithoutheart delves into Simon’s sad childhood, but in a fluffy way, in What I Wouldn’t Give. Simon gets his first plushie and we all cry. I am such a bitch for this concept and Christina helpfully linked to another one, namely to @lifewithoutmotivation​‘s Flamey. I am just overwhelmed on Simon’s behalf! This guy deserves all the gifts and birthday parties! (Also, congrats on the new URL!)

And we’re going to end this rec post with more holiday cheers from the holiday queers (really, did anyone watch The New Normal?) with @1908jmd​‘s Klaine Advent 2022 - With their favourite people. Jen did a true drabble challenge and all the snippets are about the people in Kurt and Blaine’s lives and look I just got very emo over it.

If you’ve already been tagged in a rec, consider that a tag for WIP Wednesday (or Six Sentence Sunday). Also tagging @quizasvivamos @crissmastrees-and-candyklaines @coffeegleek @esperantoauthor @otherworldsivelivedin @caramelcoffeeaddict @sillyunicorn @bazzybelle @dragoneggos @raenestee @tectonicduck @nightimedreamersworld @urban-sith @thnxforknowingme @captain-aralias @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @takitalks @justgleekout @cerriddwenluna @tea-brigade @ivelovedhimthroughworse @moodandmist @whogaveyoupermission @bookish-bogwitch @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @ionlydrinkhotwater @special-bc-ur-part-of-it @larkral @chen-chen-chen-again-chen​ @cutestkilla​ @artsyunderstudy​  

#the plushie thing makes me emo i also have a similar story for it for my SJAEU #tagged in #wip wednesday

[starswallowingsea]

It's book review time! This time for a book I actually finished like a month ago and completely forgot to do my review until now!

So I read the Lost Apothecary by Sarah Penner back in August. I got it through Book of the Month because nothing in July (when I signed up) particularly called out to me and this book has been on my TBR for a while so I took a chance on it.

Overall it was... kinda meh. It reads easy enough and I finished it in a week but I wish there had just been more to it.

My overall rating was 3.5/5 stars and I'll get into the details under the cut.

So this book is one of those split historical/modern perspectives books, similar to the Paris Orphan but not done quite as well in my opinion (and a lot of other people's opinions too). The concept is there, an apothecary that helped women kill their abusive spouses or men in their lives, which certainly existed (side note: if that is what interested you about this novel, I would highly recommend the first season of the podcast Criminalia, which was all about lady poisoners and each episode includes a cocktail recipe to go with the story. Anyway,) and are important to study, but the modern perspective was lacking.

I'm in the minority that didn't really mind Caroline, but I kind of interpreted her as being raised in like an Evangelical household where the decisions she says she made with regards to her husband (such as not going to grad school, taking a job she didn't want just for the stability, etc) made more sense? But then towards the end her husband shows up and it just makes everything very, very weird. He admits to drinking some of her essential oils on purpose to get her attention because he thought she was going to leave him for cheating on her (no fucking shit dude). If she wasn't already preparing the divorce papers when you cheated on her with one of your office workers, then she definitely would after you intentionally poisoned yourself and almost died.

The past segment of the book also felt somewhat weak. I understand that it had to take place before the invention of poison detection in forensic analysis during autopsies started getting better and more accurate, but other than that it didn't feel like Penner utilized the setting to its fullest extent. Also the twelve year old character thought her vagina was haunted by the ghost of her old master and nobody explained the concept of periods to her? Why. They kinda just brushed it off as "all girls and women bleed once every lunar cycle" but never explained that it was natural to her.

Finally, my biggest gripe with the book was the absolutely insane focus on pregnancy. It feels like all the characters except the child are obsessed with having children. The old lady who runs the apothecary laments how her lover had forced her to have a miscarriage (which at first I didn't mind as a motivation for her, but then), one of her customers comes in and wants to kill her husband's lover so he'll sleep with her and get her pregnant and she can have children, and the most egregious example of all, the modern character, as her husband was being taken to the hospital, thinks that one of the emergency responder's making a remark about keeping essential oils out of reach of children is an attack on her for not having children. Girly, it's just a statement of fact. You shouldn't keep essential oils within reach of children or they will eat it and die.

I think towards the end Penner was trying to go for some sort of magical realism or just in general actual magic in the setting but it was not very well executed. The only real sign of it was the 12yo girl character believed that magic could save the little hole in the wall apothecary and brewed some "potions" to keep them alive in dire situations and she chugged it before jumping from a bridge into the Thames, which certainly the impact into the cold water should have killed her almost instantly and we have not been led to believe she knows how to swim either. At the end we see that she survived and hinted in the one piece of writing about her that survived to the 21st century that she believed the potion protected her on that day. Yeah. If she wanted to add that little hint of magic, I wish it had more of an influence on the plot and more of a presence in the book or was just left out entirely.

Anyway, it's an easy read. If you need something quick to read and get out of a slump, it'll do that. It's not awful but it's certainly odd and could have done more with the connections between modern and historical instead of just some random tourist coming across one of the old bottles in the river on a vacation away from her cheating husband. It's not the worst book I've ever read but it's also not worth writing home about because it was so good. It's average. It's so unfortunate that it has such a beautiful cover and such a mid-tier story.

#shay speaks #book reviews #bookblr #the lost apothecary #i had most of these thoughts written down in the bad books book club discord from when i was still reading it #link is in my carrd if you'd like to come join us!

[realhankmccoy]

more often than not these days, I tend to see Camille Paglia as a stupid person who just had great, ambitious parents and who was educated and hard-working

Or you know, perhaps it's better that she be seen as an intelligent conservative person who voted on the left and who's conservative 'based on thousands of years of human history and the study of empire' anxieties about the left and homosexuals led her, though she's not quite 'deeply conservative' as she's usually considered to be by leftists.

was she highly educated? yes work ethic? yes a taskmaster? yes (this one's not really a good thing, by the way, and i've always hesitated to be too much of a taskmaster, even though my inclination is that 'we're going to practice 5 days a week, no excuses' when trying to get anything done, which i think is more than reasonable -- 7 days would be fine with me)

but i mean jeez i have such a bone to pick with so many of her old-fashioned notions, Camille always trying to be such a GOOD GIRL and halt those progressive activists in their tracks...

but with all her flashy writing skills, she really has never been able to convince me that

1 ) Columbus Day is worth celebrating and one should be angered and offended by Native American activists

2) Basic Instinct is really such quality art and so exciting that one should throw all the activists protesting it under the bus -- even if the film made her hot, you'd think a smart person could at least concede that the film doesn't make LGBT folks look good -- in an era when they were denied almost all rights

3) Liberals shouldn't be taxing cigarettes in an effort to help people make healthier choices... oh bitch, plz, where were you libertarians when the tobacco industry was getting everyone hooked? Oh that's right, getting hooked yourself... she's probably dying of lung cancer right now who knows, which is sad but is my guess as to why you never hear from her anymore

4) Climate change is no big deal because people will 'run for the hills when coastal waters rise'... are you kidding me? I'd hate to share a fishbowl with this woman if she were a fish, that's for sure. Everyone would be shitting up the place and her instructions would be that we could just swim to the bottom of the bowl...

5) The USA is vulnerable to terrorism because the power grid could be knocked out -- does she really think the government hasn't thought of this but she has?!? She was probably just in a snit about how reliant on the net everybody was and had fantasies of 'weak' liberals becoming helpless... liberals aren't as weak as she thinks they are though. They are the working class, after all... for fuck's sake, even if the ones in the Ivory Towers sure aren't.

6) you know, my list of her stupidities is endless. we're all only human. i've got plenty of my own.

I guess a lot depends on if you see Whiteness in North America as the bearers of civilisation or as Genghis Khan and how you feel about that. I see it as some of both, and she sure isn't very sympathetic to the Genghis Khan point of view.

But you know, she was born in what, the 1940s? Columbus Day was probably celebrated every year in her school.

It's all in the programming.

Also, you can't reasonably expect somebody born way before the internet and who had a ton of success before the internet was even a thing to really have the humility to adjust... there's an arrogance that comes from success in most people -- she just made herself rigid and stuck in the past in many ways and that's where the stupidity came from.

More interesting to ponder is whether she's right that politcians' sexual infidelities should be ignored -- perhaps she has a point -- although it certainly seems progressive to me to 'bust' some of them some of the time depending on what their politics are, so I guess I'd say she most likely is wrong.

I guess she's much like what she said about Freud -- you don't have to agree, but you can feel the tracks being cut in your mind when you read them.

Also, though, I'm not really on any Camille Paglia tracks these days... I'd rather be off wandering in the woods.

#camille paglia

[ellelune]

Hi i'm still alive

Hi. It's been...more than 5 years since I abandoned this blog. I just randomly searched up my old blog here one day and I was filled with nostalgia...the happy-sad kind. This was my Pinterest (I'm old now okay). This is where is used to express my creativity, not that I draw or make art but like...i feel so myself when I was here? Obviously this site has went through shit, I feel like every millennial did, and no I'm not talking about the pandemic, but idk, I kinda wanna feel the old me through here. One thing this place helped me with is that I used to write letters to my future self, it's a little something that I do to push myself to live. unfortunately, I haven't been doing that for a long long long time. The last time i was here, it was a den for R-18 blogs and they're popping out everywhere and it felt like a virus. It's scary. I'm a wholesome blog. I was also too busy with school so i just focused on studying. hm, How have i been? Maybe i should write it here so the future me can read and reminisce. I'm currently working as a Physician at a nearby clinic, i also applied for a research position at my Alma Mater, I'm waiting for their call back but it looks positive, i want to believe so. I am not where i wanted to be, that's the truth, but also...i don't even know what i wanted to be. I am currently on Therapy, i have been, for 1 year now, and it's been a great help, along with my medications and shit. I have insurance now, i have some savings, i can buy some stuff that i like. I'm still with my boyfriend, we're on our 9th year now. We're pretty much family to each other at this point but he went and pursued residency, so he should finish that first before he start settling down. My cat, yes, he's still alive. He's 9 years old too! He's fatter than ever. We have a new dog, btw. His name is 'Kiro'. He's a domestic breed, he's less than a year old and he's soooo energetic i can't keep up with him. Whatelse? I am much happier than before. The ellelune here back in 2015 was so gloomy [ turns out she was badly depressed]. I still love the vibe these creepy ethereal photographs give off, i still love art, but recently i have been into baking, or maybe cooking in general. I learned a lot of dishes in a matter of months. I haven't been watching movies lately, i don't think there are anything that interests me anymore and i don't wanna watch for the sake of watching. BUT! I know there are films in my old hard drive that might get me going. I haven't even seen Openheimmer yet. Netflix is just there for my parents. I'm more into anime lately, manga and webtoons. I play a handful of games too, like back in 2019, i was obsessed with Genshin Impact that i burst out my wallet for it. I still love genshin but i don't play it as much as before [ also my PC gave out]. Music...still the same taste, maybe a lot wider since i got into J/K-indie. I still enjoy singing. Dancing? not so much as before, but i did danced again, for a while. There are so many things that changed and so many things that i'm happy it did change. One thing i would like to say is, i am living my second life now, i will expand on that soon because i don't want to sound gloomy and sad here. but, yeah, i will explain that soon, because it needs to be in here. In 2021, i survived, from myself. That's probably all i will say now. anyway, i will go explore this site again and see if i can rack my rusty brains into managing my account to be active again. I don't know what kind of Ellelune i would love to have, but i'm sure it's gonna be full of things that i love. and oh, btw, i got a niece :) She's a 10 month old baby and guess what her name is ? ' Elle '

[jim-fetter-illustrations]

Baby it's Hot outside,... the new normal!

Ya know,..... and it seems to me that people aren't too concerned with how hot it's getting from global warming.

Medical clinics all over the United States are recording a huge influx of people with heat related ailment's and burns from temperatures making everything hot to the touch, like the sidewalk they fell down on being 160 degrees, the metal seat belt buckle in their automobile burning them by touching it from a cars interior being 140 degrees, not to mention the hundreds of pet deaths because of the heat.

So I looked into this crazy phenomena from another point of view, from a Psychological behavioural approach, and it seems that many people believe in climate change, but still don't really think about it or consider what should be done about it. And the Psychological answer is climate change is too large and scary an idea to understand, so people are using denial as a defense mechanism.

Like "I know it's a problem but they (government) are working on it, end of discussion, I really don't want to talk about it".

We are literally just trying to ignore all the deaths happening globally and going about our daily lives hoping and many praying that it just goes away.....

We aren't protesting in the streets in front of federal buildings demanding our political leaders DO SOMETHING NOW, and help society to cope by funding deterrents for people literally cooking to death from the heat.

Climate change doesn't seem to be as important as Trump losing the last presidential election or actors fearing AI impersonators taking their jobs away.

Which is just NUTS!

To myself anyway.

..................... but I regress because I alone have been for the last 4 decades voted for this time to not come to fruition, and yet it has.

Because MOST people didn't believe it would come to this!

So I'm just an observer anymore, because most people just don't care, don't understand because they have been told it's not that big of a deal, or could give-a-shit, and they have their own lives to deal with without trying to help others............ and really it's not that big of a problem.

I've read several studies that suggest the end of humanity is far more likely to be brought about by multiple factors, and climate change probably won't be one of them, although it will kill a few billion or so, but humanity should survive another 5 to 7 million years or so, and after that Earth’s atmosphere will contain very little oxygen because of our continuing to pollute after surviving and coping with climate change after all the billions have died off and years had passed and everyone has forgotten just how tragic it was, ...... like younger kids today not really understanding the 9/11 tragedy, and what happened with that fiasco.

Because we can't really change our motives and still make a profit, making it likely that anaerobic microbes, like bacteria rather than humans, will be the last living Earthlings.

Those of us who do make it through will have had to be wealthy and be able to afford the preventative measures that must be done to survive the coming super storms that will be constant eventually.

It's the same old song, and what has always ended something in humanity is our own stupidity, because we always put off what we should do NOW because of Money, and no one wants' to pay until they actually see something happening, and then it's always to late!

So here we are, and this is just the beginning of trying to survive our ignorance,...... gonna be a ride to remember!

#Global warming #climate change #baby it's hot outside

[angelicve]

𝐕𝐎𝐈𝐃 𝐉𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐘

On may 2 2023 I took the void seriously, even though I've known about it for more than 6 months I guess and the LOA in general about a year ago.. you may ask me what took me so long and well let me tell you that I'm such a big procrastinator, literally before may 2 I knew nothing about the void, what it is, what you do with, all I had in mind about it is that is a state of mind, that's it, absolutely nothing more at all, but now I changed that.. I changed because I'm so so done from not living my dream life, from living like an average person, suppressed by the social norms, I'm by all means done, and I knew that if I crossed paths with the law then I've been chosen and I have a purpose to fulfill .. I'm way more bigger that what I assume myself to be, what people want me to believe I should be, I know I was born to be great, all of us.. life isn't that simple, we are the masters of our life not employees for god's sake.

MAY 2: The day i searched properly about the void, and read so many amazing success stories, also started my void doc and pinterest board. At night though I slept unfortunately, but i did feel like i was kinda shaking at some point? i really have no idea on how to explain it, i felt my eyelids flutter too so i believe i'm on the right path.

MAY 3: I set this as the date i woke up in the void in. I'm delusional to my 3d, affirmed that i access the void like a memory since it is a state of mind, i'm ready for my desires and today is the last day in my old reality, everything changed because i shifted to my current desired reality, the reality i deserve where i have everything i wanted.

MAY 4: Tried again when i woke up, but ended going back to sleep and i was so mad at myself, doubts started to swallow me but then looked at the clock and it showed 11:09 which basically means: “Your angels are urging you to release any fears or doubts that are holding you back from achieving your dreams. This may be a time of endings in your life, but it's also a time of new beginnings.”

It was really sweet and resonated with me, and while i was reading i saw 11:11 which confirmed this message. Then i decided that instead of going into the void at night I’ll try during the day, to prevent myself from falling asleep and since i create the rules.

But unfortunately during the day i didn’t have time to meditate since i had to study, so when i went to sleep i did everything im supposed to do and for a couple of seconds i entered the void.. i did it, couldn’t stay though because i panicked, the sudden stillness and darkness scared the shit out of me literally.

MAY 5:

I’m feeling really really calm currently, im not stressing over anything, which is kinda weird, and i came to terms that my desires are going to find their way towards me no matter what happens

Im entering the void no matter what i think, and despite the doubts, nothing will stop me from entering the void because it’s my right, i deserve to enter the void and my time in my old reality is done.

I sense that it’s a matter of days before i enter the void, im very closeee.

Yep as i expected i almost got in yesterday but again ended sleeping, the problem i used to have is that i couldn’t really relax my mind and have 0 thoughts but im aware of this now and im going to change it these days.

MAY6:

Stopped consuming, and whoever is reading this should too.

I know enough about the void now, i mastered my void concept and what i have in mind about it is perfect. I used to think that the void is a magical dim place that is unattainable before, but now?, absolutely not it’s much better and easier than i thought tbh, it’s literally just a deep relaxation state??, like hello??? If you couldn’t tap into the void then you’re really just procrastinating and don’t believe in yourself.

All you have to do is relax then boom! You’re in the void, that’s so freaking easy and the thought alone is relaxing, I’m really glad that I’ve been chosen to know about such a lovely law ughhh we are so damn lucky.

+ worked on my 4D and i know for sure that i already have my dream life, 3D reflection is coming bae!!! @lotusmi «Naturalness is the secret» post helped me so much i can’t talk enough about it, tbh all of her content is really helpful, but this one specifically is a must!.

Last thing i realized that i don’t need any methods or challenges or anything to tap into the void, nah i reached it with outmost easiness.

MAY 7:

IM WAS IN PROCRASTINATION ERA

Low-key send help

Yesterday i kept saying nah i have time lemme try to enter the void tomorrow, and i know a procrastinating bitch when i see one.

So yeah i slapped myself (MORE LIKE THESE POSTS DID) mentally and i stopped procrastinating.

OMG WTF ???? Okay so i took a little break and went to lay a bit on the bed, i got very comfortable and started affirming that im the void, istg i was this close *tiny hand gesture* from entering, i felt something pulling at my feet, i felt these vibrations in my legs, like i was in a wave, i saw Specks of colorful light in front of me but i woke myself up because it wasn’t my intention to enter yet, but it felt so good, it felt so comfortable that i have a kinda dizzy feeling as im writing this!!!

I have i know that i entered the void in my 4d that’s why I got close and entered it.

MAY 8:

I ENTERED THE VOID STATE FINALLY BUT LIKE FOR 5 MINUTES

The thing about this is that i like affirmed 5 affirmations then i snapped out of the relaxation state because i wasn’t in a comfortable position, i was sleeping on my arm which was hella uncomfortable. So yeah, being in a relaxing sleep position matters besties.

Also i stopped calling my affirmations, affirmations.. instead they are facts, in my 4D i have my desired reality and im fulfilled, this isn’t an affirmation, that’s a fact and a statement. (It helped me more tbh)

MAY 9:

Took a very very long break since then… got really busy with some problems i faced + i was going through some hellish exams, lost hope, went through hell and back.

Late may — late June:

Didn’t do anything, same shitty situation.

July 20 — July 24:

Okay!, so i decided to tap into the void and decided to change my whole void list because it didn’t resonate with me anymore + built my faith slowly.

Tbh i faced so much wavering, and i doubted the void unfortunately, it came to a point where i thought suddenly that what if all of these success stories we’re written by famous bloggers to convince people that their methods and challenges work because they want popularity.. crazy right?. Well if this ever occurred to you then no they are not fake, and you may ask why.. well these people have their own life’s and i DONT REALLY THINK THEY ARE THIS PATHETIC ONLY PATHETIC PEOPLE THINK OF THIS ALSO THE VOID IS JUST MEDITATIVE STATE FOR GODS SAKE.

Some of the things i wrote in my notes app to reflect more: (all of this was written without any proofreading)

- If i know that the void is powerful.. if it’s within me, if it’s something that i can reach and tap into, if it obeys me, doesn’t that mean that I’m the one who’s powerful?. I control the void so that means I’m the one in charge.

- Now what was stopping me from entering the void state? I guess that i was afraid of leaving all of this behind, afraid of leaving this previous reality (which was like a comfort zone somehow) even though it’s painful?.. a part of me was fearful of messing this up, because what if things got worst, what if this was better.. i think i was thinking this way because i was just used to pain and constant disappointments that it was a bit harder for me to realize that there could be better things for me ahead.. astonishing things i have the ability to cause.. but also as a person who hates changes, especially the sudden ones, i was really afraid of what’s coming, because what do you mean i control my reality.. what do you mean i caused myself all of this suffering before, and what’s more crazy is that i ended it.

Pro tip: Twitching is normal because it means that I’m closer to the void The main reasons for involuntary jolts, jerks, or twitches during meditation are: 

• Body consciousness starts to surrender to universal consciousness.

• Muscles are getting relaxed and free. 

• Stored muscle tension or stress is getting released. 

• Life energy starts to have greater freedom in you. 

• Deeper consciousness is getting active. 

Please take a look at this article, and this website, it saves lives.

July 25:

One of the limiting beliefs i faced was not obsessing about the void… i decided to obsess over it tbh, this sounds so bad im sorry but obsession for me = persisting, since i only persist on things i take deep interest in.

Also Never listen to people who say that some people may or may not reach the void everyone can, period.

This reddit source is helpful, this too even though im not a big reddit fan.

JULY 26:

Saw @fleurlx living in the end challenge, and decided to read Edward art teachings, specifically the “Why Creation Is Finished May Be The Most Important Understanding Of All”

Let me tell you something.. everything clicked, his post answered so many questions i had, which made me realize.. after you guys take informations on tumblr, do you actually search more about them and explore them more?, i think you should because what was so life changing for me was literally going back to the actual basics.. i felt so dumb back then istg.

Some of you (me too) gets allured to the cute aesthetic tumblr posts, with it’s simple language and straight tips and avoid the actual real teachings that you need to think about fr..

The law needs someone who’s ready to understand it and apply it.. not just read about it and complain when it doesn’t work.

Diving further allowed me to admit a very crucial truth that i refused to believe.. which is that i really needed to work on my self concept. Before i would say that i don’t need to change myself because nothing is wrong with me, and later after reading “nothing to change but self” i realized that this wasn’t me speaking.. it was my ego refusing to admit that there was a problem with me.

JULY 27:

The now concept was something i failed to understand back then, but during that day it clicked after reading Edward teachings, you see if you are focused on the now, without thinking about the past nor future, there’s no failure, everything is possible in the now, you are in the moment, aligning and aware that there’s a version of you that entered the void state the moment you decide to.. and since there’s no desire anymore, just fulfillment you already have it.

Edit: i felt so dumb💀💀 the answers were literally infornt of me if i just begun with the bases first wtf💀💀💀💀💀 get off tumblr and read Neville rn

November 19:

Soooo i took a long break fr and now im back yeah