#we want to create a secure and safe environment for everyone. Give us reasonable time to respond

[tridentautomation]

Reasons to Invest In The Home Security System

Modern gadgets that monitor the property and the area surrounding it make up home safety systems. Investing in security system installation is necessary to give your family a stress-free environment. You need to provide a shield to avoid alarming situations because burglaries, fires, and other disasters can strike at any time. In this blog, we discuss the advantages of purchasing this system and how much better your surroundings will be.

Tranquility of mind-

Most people find it hard to leave the house for an extended period of time since they are terrified of threats and burglary activities. Installing a reliable home security system is crucial for a stress-free trip. A security system that keeps an eye on external activity will lessen the possibility of threats. You can access general information about what is happening outside of your home and inside it by having a direct link to your laptop or mobile device.

Safety against potential fire threat-

Fire is a dangerous catastrophe that can result in the loss of life and priceless property. The building's residents will be made aware of potential fire hazards via the fire alarm system in the security system. Installing a fire sprinkler system will help put out the fire and reduce the chance of damage if the fire protection team is unable to arrive at the site in time. This is the finest fire prevention system to utilize, and it is simple to install with the assistance of a reputable service provider.

Remote access-

Due to their busy schedules, the residents of the building are unable to maintain constant eye contact while at home. Modern components in the security system work together with other methods to create a safe environment. Another excellent option to use if you want to access home activities from a distance is the remote access feature. To reduce the possibility of threatening behaviors, you may arm and disarm the system from here. You can also check the general state of your system and observe the live video feeds.

Reduced Insurance Prices-

Most people make daily insurance payments for their home and family's general health. A protective system lowers your insurance price and offers additional financial advantages if you have one installed. Maintaining a relationship with this type of insurance provider will be advantageous to you in many ways.

Identifying gas leaks -

Have you heard about the Ludhiana, Punjab, gas leak incident? In Ludhiana, Punjab, India, on April 30, 2023, a gas leak resulted in eleven individuals' deaths and nine more hospitalizations. Everyone is frightened and terrified as a result of this catastrophe, and most often women neglect to check for or stop gas leaks because of domestic duties. The likelihood of falling into such an occurrence increases as a result. The use of technical equipment like smoke detectors that monitor or detect fire or carbon monoxide is essential to safeguard against these types of life-threatening accidents.

Safeguarding cherished ones  -

Most couples in today's society continue to work, making it necessary for them to spend most of their time outside cities. This makes it very difficult to look after the child or pet while still keeping an eye on the valuables. At this point, the home security system emerges as a trustworthy ally that assists in keeping an eye on the situation both within and outside of the building. This technology will enable you to continue working stress-free while safeguarding your loved ones.

Conclusion-

The home security system is a state-of-the-art device that helps to deal with burglaries, home invasions, fires, and other alarming situations. To deal with these issues, Trident Automation Systems Pvt. Ltd. offers the best home security systems like fire sprinklers, fire hydrant systems installation, fire alarm systems, and video surveillance solutions. In this blog, we have also mentioned the benefits of a home security system, which are mainly peace of mind, detection of fire and gas leakage, remote access, and protection of loved ones. So if you want to keep your valuable possessions safe and secure and also try to provide a sound environment, then this is the place to get it installed from a reliable home security system installation provider in Bangalore.

[employeecrossing]

How does HR do background check?

When you first start your new job in a company, there is often so much to learn. For instance, how do you handle tricky interviews? How do you get everyone up to speed? Or what about that trust issue — how do you establish a healthy working relationship with your new colleagues? That’s where background checks come in. They are an HR department’s go-to tool when it comes to vetting potential new hires. So if you have just started a job and don’t know where to start, give this article a read. We will cover everything from the advantages of having a background check procedure, to the details of the different types of checks, and what questions need to be answered during one. You see, not only are these checks essential for preventing criminals and other dangerous people from infiltrating your company; they can also help prevent employee theft by identifying and weeding out anyone who would take advantage of their position for their own gain rather than the good of the organization as a whole background check agencies in Mumbai.

Background Check Procedure for New Employees

So, you’ve just hired a new employee. Congratulations! The company is now on the hook to protect that person’s well-being. That means providing them with a safe working environment and keeping their personal information safe from prying eyes. And of course, you want the best new hires possible, but only if they are law-abiding citizens. To do this, you will conduct a thorough background check on your new hire. This will include a criminal background check to make sure the person isn’t a criminal. It will also include a credit history and employment history check to make sure they didn’t been fired from any jobs and aren’t a security risk. And it will, of course, include an address and contact check to make sure the person is living at the address on their resume. All of these pieces will be combined together to create a full background check on the person you are hiring. After this, it will be the job of your human resources department to keep a close eye on the new hire. They will be responsible for monitoring their behavior, keeping an eye out for any red flags, and yes, even firing them if they do something inappropriate.

What do HR do with a background check?

In some companies, the check is done entirely by the hiring manager. This is most common if they are a single individual who has never worked in an office environment before. They will often be given the task of conducting the check themselves. However, if they are struggling to find enough time in their day to do this, they should always bring in a trusted assistant to help them out. More often than not, though, the check will be outsourced to a third party. This will usually be a company that provides background check services. There are a handful of different background check services that you can choose from, but the key is to find a company that can provide a variety of different checks, as well as one that is reasonably priced.

Types of Background Checks

There are many different types of background check that a company can choose to conduct. For instance, you can check a prospective employee’s credit report, which will show whether they have any accounts that have been delinquent. Or you can check their driving history to make sure they haven’t been involved in any traffic violations. You can also check the person’s tax return to make sure they haven’t filed for any tax exemptions or deductions that are not allowed. This last check can be particularly useful if you have reason to believe that the person you are hiring may need to report a low salary on their resume because they are in a special circumstance like military service.

Advantages of Having a Background Check Procedure

- Protects Your Company - With a background check procedure in place, you can protect your company by only hiring people who are safe and trustworthy. - Makes It Easier to Fire a Bad Hire - Now that you have a process in place for conducting a background check, it will be much easier to fire a bad hire as soon as they turn up something inappropriate. - Prevents Irresponsible Recruiters from Hiring Criminals - Background checks have been used for many years to prevent potential criminals from infiltrating workplaces.

Steps in Conducting a Background Check

Now that you have all of the information about your new hire’s background and where they came from, let’s talk about what you need to do next. The first thing you need to do is ask the person you hired to provide you with their résumé. From this, you will be able to see everything on their resume — your name mentioned, their name mentioned, their education and experience listed — as well as their contact information (name, address, phone number). Once you have this information, the next step is to get their fingerprints and a background check report. To get their fingerprints, you will need to get their consent to do this. It is usually easiest to get this consent in person, but you can also make an appointment through the company’s HR department. When it comes to the background check report, you will want to make sure that you are getting a report that covers as many areas as possible. This will help you be better informed when deciding whether or not to offer the person a job.

Conclusion

If you have just started a new job, you will appreciate the fact that your human resources department can conduct a background check on you. They can use this opportunity to check your past employment history and your address and contact details to make sure you are who you say you are. Background checks are not just useful for new employees; they can also be helpful for current employees who may need more rigorous checks to ensure they are not avoiding their responsibilities at work.

Get Directions to - Background check agencies in Mumbai

[likecleaningservice]

Why do we need to outsource an office cleaning company in Adelaide?

With office cleaning services in Adelaide, you can ensure your business is clean and safe. We'll help you keep your employees happy and productive, which will make them want to stay in your company for the long term. To learn more about our commercial cleaning services, give us a call today!

Commercial cleaning is a need for every business

Businesses that have an office need to clean the place regularly. It's not just about keeping it clean, though. There are a number of reasons why you should consider outsourcing your office cleaning services in Adelaide:

Cleanliness is important for attracting customers and keeping them happy when they visit your business. You want people to come back, right? So whether you're running a retail store or a restaurant, you need to be able to offer a pleasant environment where they'll want to return again and again. Keeping up with regular cleaning will help keep the look and feel of your space consistent throughout the year—and it will keep things tidy so that customers aren't afraid of getting food on their clothes or having crumbs fall into their purse when they're browsing through racks at one of our stores!

A clean office environment also keeps employees happy. A job can be stressful enough without having dirty floors or windows making things worse by reminding everyone how much work needs done before opening time each morning!

Commercial cleaning increases employee productivity

Cleaner work environment. It’s no secret that a clean office environment increases employee productivity and morale. A cleaner work environment leads to happier employees who are less likely to take sick days or leave their positions, which means reduced turnover costs for your business.

Better health habits. Commercial cleaning services will help your employees adopt better hygienic practices by encouraging them to wash their hands after using the restroom, as well as sanitizing other areas that may be contaminated through frequent contact with germs, like work desks and phones. This can also lead to fewer workplace accidents due to unsafe practices (e.g., slipping on floors).

Commercial cleaning helps keep the building secure and safe

Cleanliness is a sign of professionalism. If your office is dirty, it will not reflect well on you or your business. A clean office signals the type of company you are: one that cares about their employees and wants to create a healthy work environment for them.

Cleanliness is key to a healthy work environment. Having an organized and tidy space makes it easier for everyone in the building to focus on their tasks instead of getting distracted by clutter or messes that need cleaning up later in the day. Employees who don't have time outside of work hours can get stressed out trying to manage everything at once if their workspace isn't organized properly, which can lead them down an unhealthy path if left unchecked over time (stress leads directly into poor eating habits). Also, having germs spread around means everyone has less energy because they're constantly sick!

For commercial cleaning services in Adelaide, contact us!

To get more information about the commercial cleaning services in Adelaide, contact us!

We have a team of highly trained and experienced office cleaners who can provide you with professional cleaning services at a competitive price. Our reliable service includes:

Regular or one-off office cleaning

Dusting and vacuuming

Carpet shampooing and spot cleaning

Window washing (as required)

Ozone and air filtration systems (as required)

If you're interested in hiring our commercial cleaning team, please contact us today on [insert phone number here].

Contact us for a quotation for your office today!

If you are looking for a company that provides office cleaning Adelaide, is reliable and trustworthy, and is affordable - contact us today!

Conclusion

We hope we have answered all your questions about why a office cleaning service is necessary for your office. We know that it can be difficult to take on this type of business yourself as there are so many other things that you need to focus on. That’s why we are here! Our team has been providing cleaning services in Adelaide and we know how important it is to keep your workplace clean, safe and efficient. Contact us today so we can discuss your needs further.

[peterdecaprio]

Ways Be A Better Leader in 2022

In the coming years, new technologies, disruptive innovation, and a quickly-evolving business landscape will change our workforce more than anything we’ve ever seen. It’s a time of great uncertainty that requires leaders to be bolder and more agile than ever before says Peter Decaprio. And companies that hope to keep pace with accelerating change — or even get ahead of it — have some critical thinking to do on how their leadership teams need to evolve in order to thrive in 2022.

Here are 8 Ways to Be a Better Leader in 2022:

1. Lead from Anywhere:

In the last five years alone, remote work has been growing at an impressive clip, especially among millennials who want greater flexibility in when and where they work. But besides being able to collaborate across distances and time zones, the best talent wants work with meaning, projects that are meaningful and a company culture where the employees’ work truly makes an impact. A successful leader will focus on what can be done from anywhere to make an even bigger impact on customers, communities and the world.

2. Inspire Creative Collaboration:

To get things done in a rapidly changing landscape, we all need to bring our best ideas and thinking every day — regardless of title or hierarchy. Leaders must inspire us to think deeply and creatively about how we do our jobs and what we bring to the table to move our business forward. By encouraging everyone in an organization to become more innovative, leaders will unleash massive value for their companies while creating a positive working environment that attracts top talent across multiple generations.

3. Ask for Help:

Great leaders are confident enough to ask questions, admit what they don’t know and secure expert advice from their team members. By building up the trust of those around them, people want to work with them and seek out their advice even when they aren’t asked. And that makes it easier to achieve important goals without having to do it alone explains Peter Decaprio.

4. Lead by Example:

There’s a reason old school leadership is dying off — no one likes being told what to do all the time or how they need to change in order to meet some set standard. A successful leader will be someone who isn’t afraid to try things differently. Experiment with new ideas and create better ways of doing things on their own. And if they make mistakes, great leaders will admit them, learn from them and do better next time.

5. Act Bravely:

We are all facing enormous changes, including the loss of jobs to automation, AI, and robotics. Which means we need to be braver than ever before to take risks. Think creatively about how we can continue to perform at our best for organizations moving forward. Leaders should look at their teams and ask what it takes to empower everyone in the organization. Regardless of role or title — so that each person is confident taking smart risks. And trying new things even when they aren’t sure if they’ll work out.

6. Balance Optimism with Pragmatism:

It’s important for leaders to maintain a positive outlook but they need to be balanced by pragmatism. Great leaders won’t allow themselves or others to fall into the trap of thinking everything is perfect when it’s clearly not. Because that’s how you miss opportunities for growth and give up on big dreams before even trying them out. Peter Decaprio says successful leaders will help build confidence in their team. Inspire us to move forward with optimism despite our fears. And do what needs to be done to seize new possibilities and opportunities as they arise.

7. Embrace Failure:

Twenty years ago, we might have said that failure should be avoided at all costs. But today we know better — it leads directly to success. The best companies empower employees through safe” work environments where people are supported, not shamed or punished for taking risks. By encouraging everyone to try out new ideas without fear of judgment or criticism. Leaders are setting up their organizations for greater success in the long term.

8. Unlock Passion:

The human connection can be elusive at work. Sometimes our passions aren’t always encouraged by an organization’s culture explains Peter Decaprio. But great leaders understand that people perform better when they love what they do. So they take time to really learn about what drives each team member. And how to support them in bringing those passions into their everyday work. It’s also important to share high-level goals with employees so that every person has a greater sense of purpose. And understands how his or her small part plays into something bigger than them.”

Conclusion:

Leadership has changed dramatically over the last several years. And it will continue to evolve as long as we have organizations. But if great leaders embrace these practices, they can stay ahead of change. Create a strong connection with their teams and help society move forward in a positive direction.

Originally Posted: https://peterdecaprio.com/peter-decaprio-8-ways-to-be-a-better-leader-in-2022/

#technologies #ways

[startexport]

#Intigriti - #Bug #Bounty & Agile #Pentesting #Platform

#Intigriti – #Bug #Bounty & Agile #Pentesting #Platform

True Vikings never entered the battlefield without their helmets. And we believe a secure environment, just like free access to open communication, is a worldwide human right. But even the best Viking Drakkars may sometimes encounter vulnerabilities. Brave sailors who discover leaks should be honored – not executed. Together with you and our broad community, we want to create a secure and safe…

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#avoid privacy violations #before you make any information public. Also #destruction of data and interruption or degradation of our service during your research. Grab your battle axes and conquer those bugs! #is a worldwide human right. But even the best Viking Drakkars may sometimes encounter vulnerabilities. Brave sailors who discover leaks shou #just like free access to open communication #True Vikings never entered the battlefield without their helmets. And we believe a secure environment #we want to create a secure and safe environment for everyone. Give us reasonable time to respond

[furiousgoldfish]

Tactics of narcissistic abuse

Love Bombing & Mirroring are tactics to gain your favour. These will come from a narcissist you’re just getting to know and they’re trying to convince you they’re your perfect partner, soulmate, best friend, ideal lover. Love bombing is showering you with over-the-top affection and support, they’re likely to see what works best on you, then give you just that. They’ll convince you that you’re special and make you feel special, whether it’s with attention, gifts, promises, love phrases, or making you look and feel very good in front of other people. If they can spin this as fate or destiny, they will. You have one lucky coincidence? It’s destiny that you met. They’ll create the image of ‘it’s us against the world’ and convince you that they’re all you need to never be alone, unappreciated or unhappy again. They will say phrases like 'We were born to be together’ or 'You’re the only one who understands’ and make you feel like you’re in a romance film.  Mirroring is the way to convince you that they are just like you, your perfect match. They do this by pretending they want the same things as you. All of your opinions will be shared, your desires will be their desires too, however you want to live, that’s now their ideal life too. If you want children, so do they, if you want to live in a cottage, so do they.

These will be repeated until you feel like you finally got something perfect from life, you commit to them and trust them completely. You will become lenient with your boundaries and disregard minor red flags, because hey, you finally found love, or someone like yourself who makes your life better. These are crucial to keep you around for a long time; the illusion of happiness and perfect companionship you always wanted will keep you holding onto them in hope that things could once again, be this perfect for you. You will not want to let go of them even after the love bombing and mirroring is long gone. Love bombing and mirroring are not indicative of how they’re planning to treat you once you’re committed to them; as soon as they feel you are ready to fight for a life with them, roles will change and you will have to endure escalating abuse from this person, endlessly.

Scapegoats and people badly damaged by trauma will often not get the full love bombing or mirroring, narcissists will be able to win our devotion by acts of basic decency, small thoughtfulness and acting tolerant of our trauma symptoms, this will feel like everything to us, and once we decide this is a good, special person who makes us feel safe and we’d do anything for them, they’ll turn and exploit us endlessly.

Only way to spot this on time is: there will be a little voice of suspicion in your head going ’Isn’t this actually a little too perfect to be real? A little too convenient and ideal?’ and you will not want to listen to that voice. You should listen to it. It’s your instinct, trying to tell you something is off. I won’t blame you if you don’t. Most people won’t just walk away from their ideal partner because things seem 'too perfect’. But, get suspicious at least. Alert to red flags.

Enablers and Flying Monkeys

Narcissists can’t abuse if they’re on their own; they will work hard to build a reputation and charm people who they can later use for purposes of enabling, triangulating, controlling, scapegoating and smear campaigns. Enablers, or Flying Monkeys, are people who are either admiring the narcissists, want to be in narcissists good favour, are trauma bond and scared of the narcissists, are emotionally manipulated or simply too cowardly to point out that the narcissists is wrong and cruel. Most people will fall under the influence and want to be on narcissists side because it’s easier, tempting, feels safer, and doesn’t require much thinking. Narcissist will sometimes emotionally manipulate people to go do their dirty work; they will cry about how they miss their runaway children so flying monkeys would harass and judge children for running away, they will invent stories of abuse and insanity of their spouse so people would shame and judge the spouse who the narcissist is abusing. They create environment in which they can keep abusing and other people will jump to defend, justify, victim-blame and further confuse the victim. “They had a hard life”, “They’re your mother/father/uncle, you have to forgive them” or “He’s not that bad” are the phrases you’ll hear from enablers and flying monkeys. The term “Flying Monkey” is taken from the Wizard of Oz, because the Wicked Witch owned an army of brainless flying monkeys who would do her bidding – much how narcissists do with their enablers.

What enablers are doing is absolutely wrong. They should not be ready to defend abuse, or excuse and justify it, or believe and act on smear campaigns, not for any reason. They are hurting and isolating the victim, and regardless of how much they suck up to the narcissist, they will eventually become the targets too. Victims are right to cut out enablers just how they’re right to cut out abusers. You do not have to suffer for their cowardice or stupidity.

Triangulation is a form of abuse where narcissist brings another person into the relationship in order to bypass your boundary. For instance, you refuse to speak to the narcissist, so they send your family members, friends, or their friends, to talk to you about how much you’re hurting the narcissist and how cruel and unfair you’re being. Or, you’re trying to set a boundary in your marriage, and suddenly a friend or a relative comes talking to you about how unreasonable it is to set such awful boundary and to think of your spouse’s feelings and how bad they have it. Narcissist may try to use you for triangulation too, for example, they might tell you 'Go tell your sister she should do xyz and she’s making a mistake, she’ll listen to you’. It’s implied you agree with the narcissist, and that both of you are doing it for the sister’s good, when it’s more likely the narcissist is trying to force this person to do something they’re deeply set against and would only serve the narcissist. Narcissists will use their children to triangulate a marriage, they will often 'gang up’ other family members on their spouse, or one of the children. If you’re the victim, you’ll find yourself cornered, isolated, and in doubt whether you’re doing the right thing, trying to establish a boundary. Narcissists will also often show affection, compassion or even love to a third person simply to make you jealous and worried that something is wrong with you since you don’t get the same treatment. It’s what creates an illusion that the entire world is agreeing with the narcissist and no matter what you do, you look unreasonable for fighting them.

Narcissists will sometimes invent completely boogus scenarios and try to terrify people into doing their bidding and believing they’re right. As if the world will fall if narcissists don’t get what they want.

Society at large will often enable abusers; you can call out abuse and be rendered a 'killjoy’ because people prefer to enjoy cruelty together with the narcissist than to oppose them. Narcissists are capable of rousing a whole gang of people to turn against the victim and to aid in their abuse; this is scapegoating.

Gaslighting is a form of abuse where the abuser attacks your sense of reality. They will usually do this to obscure and deny acts of abuse. “I never said that” “That didn’t happen” “That’s not how I remember it” “You imagined it” or “You’re crazy, I would never do that!” are common gaslighting phrases abusers use for events that absolutely happened, and they absolutely remember. It’s even more powerful if they get other people to agree that you’re insane for remembering a past event of abuse. They can sometimes try to convince you that something didn’t occur while it’s still happening. This renders your intention of calling out abuse impossible; you’re now debating whether the event even happened and your sanity is questioned.

The point of this is to drive you into insanity; prolonged gaslighting will make you doubt your own memories and senses, and you will no longer be secure in your own point of view or version of reality. You will not be able to fight abuse, because you will get stuck on wondering if it’s even real, or if you’re making it up. Narcissist wants not only to abuse you, but to control your perception of it, reaction of it, and to disable you from telling anyone and being taken seriously. Smear campaign and gaslighting ensures that everyone thinks you’re lying to make problems, even you.

You can attempt to block gaslighting with phrases like 'That was not my experience’ 'I know the truth and I am not debating it with you’ ’ Don’t tell me what happened, I was there’ or ridiculing them for thinking it would work, but sometimes abuse will escalate if you refuse to play along, so be very careful with them.

Baiting, Projection and Scapegoating

Baiting is the way narcissist finds out which triggers will work on you. Types of baits are: Scaremongering, Accusations, False Claims, Guilt-tripping, Victim-playing, False Hope, or Intrigue. They will use these to elicit either fear&anxiety, or guilt&responsibility. You are likely to get pulled in and respond emotionally to these, and thus the narcissist will discover which one of these is most triggering and they can use it to either control you, or to affirm that they can still get you riled up, scared, guilty – they feed on being able to provoke these, it makes them feel powerful. They can later use the same trigger to push you into guilt and fear if you try to resist their control. If they continue doing this to you for a long time, you are likely to develop self-doubt and anxiety about your own persona. Way to counter this is to grey rock them.

Projection is a primitive defense-mechanism, where a person feels uncomfortable with their behaviour or thinking, so they accuse someone else of it to deflect the bad feelings from themselves. This can feel the same as baiting, but narcissists do it without realizing they’re giving you the information about what they’re actually feeling and doing. For instance, a narcissist will accuse you of being self-absorbed after they start feeling uncomfortable with how self-absorbed they are, they will start to call you selfish when it comes to their mind how selfish they are. They will accuse you of the exact shit they’ve been doing whether it’s lying, manipulating, faking for attention, cheating, exploiting, lacking compassion, stealing. These claims will feel like they’re coming out of nowhere at first, but eventually you will wonder if you’re really like that, and accept their projection on yourself, believing to really be as bad, or worse than they are. Even though they’ve done 100% of these things, while you have done none of it. This can also be countered by being aware what is going on and grey-rocking them. Deflecting the blame back to them will not work because they’ll either deflect it back, or throw a tantrum and insult you.

Scapegoating is the most vicious abuse narcissist can inflict on their victims and is designed to completely break a person’s spirit while creating power out of terror. Scapegoating doesn’t only serve to terrify and control the victim; it shows everyone what the narcissist is capable of, causing them to go very far to avoid becoming the next scapegoat. This creates enablers, flying monkeys and other benefits for narcissist to enjoy, while the scapegoat is isolated, not believed, and often shunned by the community to show loyalty to the narcissist.

Scapegoat will be blamed for every narcissists flaw, accused of provocation and creating trouble, shamed for their likes and interests, humiliated for their appearance or needs, their work will be rendered worthless and any pain and injury will be treated as if the scapegoat deserved it, or wanted it. Nothing is out of bounds to criticize or belittle in the scapegoat; flying monkeys will do it too, to either affirm themselves with the narcissist, or because they too crave power by stepping on someone defenseless. If a narcissistic parent decides to scapegoat a child, the other parent might stop caring for the child, and agree that the child deserves only to be neglected and shunned. The illusion narcissists create, of entire society agreeing that a person is irredeemable, deserving only of pain and ridicule, has turned people to suicide.

Scapegoat absorbs all of the narcissist’s malice, cruelty, sadism, baiting, projection, guilt and tantrums, so other people in the environment can get some relief and can use the scapegoat as their shield. You can be chosen to be a scapegoat for challenging the narcissist and standing up to them, for refusing to scapegoat someone else, for seeing thru them and showing any potential for undermining their authority, if narcissist is jealous of you, if narcissist feels threatened by your intellect, compassion and emotional depth they lack. And often, you’ll just be chosen because they’re in position of power and you’re unprotected. If you’re their child, a lonely classmate, employee with no high reputation or lots of friends, a minority, different in the way of sexuality or behaviour, anything that is easily used to sway a group of people against you. Narcissists will make sure to spread a smear campaign filled with lies against you, so that nobody would align with you, or believe you if you try to counter their word.

This type of treatment is beyond anything a human being could deserve, and devastating for the victim’s self esteem and sense of reality. After surviving a scapegoating situation, people might not want to find themselves in any social setting anymore. They might start believing themselves to be unlovable and defective. There is usually no way to counter it or fight your way out, unless there’s a higher authority who could side with you, or there’s a way to physically remove yourself from this environment.

Grey Rock, Hoovering and No Contact

Grey rock is a way to counter baiting and projection; narcissists learn and thrive on our emotional responses, it gives them a thrill to be able to send us into rage, terror, disbelief, shock or panic. Grey rocking means you give zero emotional response, and thus prove yourself very boring and a bad source of narcissistic supply. So, regardless of what egregious threat, accusation, claim or insult they make, you just reply with 'mhmm’ and look completely disinterested. You reply with one-word sentences, say 'sure’ or 'yup’ if they accuse you of something or try to fearmonger, answer questions with 'maybe’ or 'I don’t know’, agree with whatever bs they’re pulling out of their ass without caring, refuse to get pulled in or baited, give them no significance in the conversation until they leave. It is very hard to do, because they will up their game and even fly into rage to get a response, if they feel entitled to it. In some cases they might resort to violence. Often, they’ll keep changing the tactics until something works, and if nothing does, they’ll feel dejected and go find another source of supply. If they feel like they can’t get to you, this undermines their imagined power over you.

No contact is the only way to truly win against a narcissist; if they can’t reach you, they can’t manipulate or hurt you. This means no responding to messages, no letting them know where you live, blocking them on every service, and in most situations, even the enablers have to be no contact, because the narcissist is likely to send them into triangulation and use them to get to you. If you’re unable to go no-contact with a narcissist, a lot of people opt for 'low contact’, which means you only hear from them once a year, or once every 6 months, insufficient for them to gain control over you, and you grey-rock them all the way, and never share any personal info that might be used against you. Hoovering is something a narcissist will do to you after you’ve left them. They might leave you alone for a long time, then suddenly send a message saying they miss you, or they’re thinking about you and wishing you could do xyz together. They might also influence another person to tell you 'x misses you, they wish to see you again, they’re doing bad without you’. This is done to remind you of the 'good times’ and an attempt to draw you back in, as you’re supposed to have forgotten all the abuse already and be ready to take them back. It might come as outrageous expectation or denial of everything bad that happened – that’s because it is. All you have to do is grey-rock this, not respond, and enjoy in knowledge that even if you can’t ensure revenge, you can take yourself away from them, and they will never have you back.

Sources: Baiting, Scapegoating, LoveBombing, Gaslighting(video), Projection(video), Triangulation, Mirroring(video),  FlyingMonkeys (video), Hoovering, Grey Rock

#narcissistic abuse #scapegoating #psychological abuse #narcissistic parents #emotional abuse #gaslighting #love bombing #mirroring #baiting #projection #triangulation #flying monkeys #enablers #this took 3 days to write wow #did you notice tumblr beta has a character limit??? #i had to turn it off to be able to post this #i don't want a character limit on tumblr #let people read

[c-is-for-circinate]

As promised: let's talk Hades, and how acts of abuse can create toxic environments for everyone around them, and also how people react to those environments--and to them being disrupted.

(For reference, I have just kicked Theseus's ass for the first time, it was exactly as satisfying as it was intended to be, and then I got predictably slaughtered a couple of chambers into Styx. Spoilers for everything through that point, but please no spoilers in reblogs/comments for anything after that!) Also, TW for a whole lot of discussion of abuse, particularly verbal and emotional abuse, and abusive familyworkplace dynamics.

Okay, so. To start out with, Hades is an abusive parent. He engages in innumerable acts of verbal and emotional abuse towards his son, because yep, that's what you call it when a parent constantly berates and belittles their kid for every perceived failure, including the ones the parent themselves could have prevented. Sometimes especially the ones the parent could have prevented. Zagreus failed at his office clerk job because Hades refused to teach him how to do it and then blamed him for not already knowing how. Cerberus tore up the lounge because Hades, who was actually there, chose not to stop him. Hades created, possibly deliberately, and then took full advantage of every opportunity he saw to insult and demean his kid, and the clerk job flashback shows us that he was doing so even before the escape attempts started. I'm pretty sure we're all on the same page here, but: yep, that all constitutes abuse, even if they're gods. Even if Hades has reasons for Being Like That. Even if you think Zagreus seems okay and unharmed by it (which: repeatedly throwing yourself into a gauntlet of violence that inevitably ends in your own pain and death because you're so desperate to escape home, not actually an indicator of someone who's okay). We all good on that?

Cool. Because I'm not really here to talk about how Hades' abuse directly impacts Zagreus right now (although there's for sure an essay in that too). I'm thinking about how it impacts everybody else.

Hades isn't as obviously unreasonable with anybody else in his kingdom the way he is with his kid. When we see him lecture somebody else, it's usually for an actual failure to do their job: Hypnos for literally falling asleep on the job and not doing anything that was assigned to him, Megaera for letting us past her so many time, Orpheus for being a court bard who refuses to sing. His attitude is super confrontational and unpleasant, but on the surface it doesn't necessarily look as fucked-up. Thing is, though, whether any individual act of aggression towards an employee/family member is justified or not (I would generally argue 'not', because aggression towards employees/family members is, y'know, not justifiable)--it's not about the individual acts. It's about the entire cultivated atmosphere of toxicity and abuse.

One of the very first things Meg ever says to us is, "I'd rather be on your bad side than his." Up until that point, we've got no reason to believe Meg has any history whatsoever of fucking up at her job. In fact, we've got plenty of reason to believe she's good at it. She's fiercely proud of it, she's frequently Employee Of The [Time Period], and we've apparently never even met her sisters because she handles her shit herself. But she's still scared of Hades. Dusa, who is an anxious wreck at all times because oh god what if she gets fired what if she gets fired what if she gets fired, in spite of apparently being absolutely exemplary at her job, is scared of Hades. Every single shade in the Hall is clearly terrified of Hades, and it's not because of what he's done to each of them. It's what they've seen him do to other people.

Which is how toxic environments work, whether they're work environments or families. The Court of Hades is of course both, always, with the bonus hell layer of you can't quit even if you DIE. An abuser in authority doesn't have to target you in order to make you feel scared, cowed, and desperate to please them. Humans (and gods who are basically extra-powerful humans) are good at learning by example. The residents of the Court get the picture.

So this Court is a minefield--and everyone except Zagreus is very good at tiptoeing around mines. We see it in Meg, so desperate to do her job well. We see that Hypnos very clearly does not give a shit about anything, but he still makes sure to have a list of excuses ready if/when Hades ever confronts him about failure to do his job, just in case. We see it when Achilles tells us that my ability to help you is constrained by the authority your father gives me, or whatever the line was sixty runs ago when he couldn't let me into locked chambers. The system, such as it is, works, and if Nyx talks to Hades as little as possible, if Thanatos avoids the Court entirely, if Achilles treads very carefully and knows how to keep his head down--well that's just the system, right? That's just how things are.

Even Zagreus seems to have had a role in that system as the court fuckup. He's the kid who didn't have a real job or purpose. He could take the focus of Hades' generalized, day-to-day ire off of everyone else, without triggering some of the more direct and violent ire because the work he was doing didn't really matter (a LOT of Hades' rage-triggers seem to be related to job performance, which means that the people with real jobs are of course the most at risk). And he could do so "safely" (big emphasis on the quotation marks there) because he alone of the court is Hades' actual kid, who's Prince of the Underworld no matter how much he fucks up. If one of Nyx's other kids gets something really really wrong, she might be able to protect them from some consequences, but Hades doesn't have any layer of supposed parental affection holding him back from getting violently furious about it. Zagreus gets a nice bedroom and the abuse is limited to words rather than divine power, and Hades is a dick to everyone but he only occasionally condemns people to eternities of torture, and only for good reasons like refusing to sing when your job is to be court bard, so it's fine, everybody's fine, everything's totally fine, right?

Except it's not fine when everybody is so clearly worried about anything going wrong. And it's especially not fine for Zagreus, who's the person to finally say no. He's leaving, for his own sake, because he deserves better and he's finally convinced he can have it. And that turns the whole system into disarray.

I am endlessly fascinated by the ways this game portrays different characters reacting to this upheaval in their carefully-mapped minefield. It's different for authority figures and peers and servants, different based on how people are positioned in the house under Hades' rule, and it's so spot-on and I love it.

Nyx, for instance, is absolutely calm about the whole thing, because Nyx has power. Hades can't hurt her. Hades can't even really do much against her children, not when Hypnos and Thanatos are gods in their own right. Yes, Hades rules the kingdom, but Nyx owns the land, and she gives no shits about his rages. And it's interesting, too, to see the lines she doesn't draw. The deal seems to be that Hades doesn't fuck with her, and doesn't outright threaten her kids (because Hypnos is bad at his job, demonstrably so, and Hades hasn't ruined him yet), and she doesn't interfere with the way he treats the people around him. She gives Zagreus advice and support and the mirror, but she also doesn't take a direct stand against Hades. He can't hurt her, but he could make life...difficult. She's protected, her position in the minefield is more of a safe viewing platform than slogging through the middle of it, but the mines are still there.

And then we have Achilles, who is one of my favorite characters in the whole game because of how he reacts to this whole situation. Achilles, like Nyx, is so supportive. Every single time you see him he has something encouraging to say. He gives us his Codex, secretly finds us weapons, trained us for years, clearly wants us to succeed. And still he's limited, not necessarily out of fear for himself (though he has to be scared for himself, he knows what Hades does to people who anger him), but out of concern that if he gives Zagreus too much help in one way, he won't be able to provide help at all later. He's still so careful.

Achilles and Nyx are so fucking important to this story because they're the only authority figures Zagreus really has in his life except for his father, and they are so supportive. They're what keep this story from being a nightmare of psychological horror and depression. They can't stop the pressure from Hades and this life in his house being miserable for Zag, but they can give us hope, remind us that Zagreus is still loved. And they have such an incredibly important role when it comes to guilt, which is one of the biggest ways toxic systems maintain themselves.

If Zagreus leaves, what happens to everybody else? Who takes Hades' wrath then? Who becomes court scapegoat if he's not there, and also, who gets punished for his escape? These questions matter, and we see him worry about it! He asks Nyx and Achilles both, is it going to be okay that you're helping me, are you going to be alright, will my father hurt you for this? And they are both so firm about telling him no. No, I will be fine. See, here's the list of reasons about why I'm going to be fine, why my position in this minefield is secure. They make a point of telling us that it's fine, that we do not need to hold ourself back from getting out of this abusive situation for their sake. That is instrumental in Zagreus's ability to keep making these escape attempts without feeling too guilty and worried and selfish to go on. (Another thing that's actually really important in setting up that dynamic--we see that Hades cares about Cerberus, even if he's using him as a pawn against us, and Cerberus seems to be the one figure in court who Hades doesn't get mad at. The dog isn't at risk, and that is really essential in keeping the story from getting too grim.) These people who we care about refuse to let themselves be held hostage to secure our good behavior.

It's also really useful for raising the stakes later in the story--we see Hades arguing with Nyx once or twice, and we see Zagreus feeling guilty about it, but it's also a sign that we're making enough progress to piss him off. After I finally made it out of Elysium on my last run, I came home to find him furious with Achilles in a way that actually makes me nervous, because Achilles does not have nearly as much security in his position as he says he does. (Achilles is such a good teacher/authority figure, because he knows goddamn well what Hades could do to him, and still refuses to let fear for his own situation stop him from helping the abused kid under his care escape his. And no, not everybody has the capacity to do that, but it matters so much coming from the guy who helped raise us. It matters so much. I do not even have the words for how much.)

It's also no mistake that many of the people we find supporting us along our journey are either the people with the most power in their immediate environment, or the least. Sisyphus helps us because what more could they do to me than this? Orpheus is a little wild around the eyes and somewhat disconnected from reality, and he wishes us the best because someone should get what they want and also he no longer gives a single fuck what happens to him. Eurydice has her own cozy little corner of Asphodel, as safe from Hades' rage as anybody anywhere in his realm because she's tucked in such an out-of-the-way middle place she's outside his notice. Dusa is so scared of everything anyway that, crush aside, she isn't any more threatened by us escaping than she is just by her everyday life here. Charon is unfathomable and unstoppable; Skelly literally exists to be a punching bag, and yet he also seems basically immune to pain, no matter what we do to him. There's no threat from Hades there.

So the people most at risk when I flip the world on its ear are the ones who have so much standing that they have something to lose, but not enough to protect them from losing it. Which of course brings us to Than and Meg--who are, of course, the two people who also seem by far the most upset by my attempts to leave.

As authority figures, Nyx and Achilles are constantly reinforcing the message that it's Hades' fault, not ours, if they or anybody else get caught in the crossfire of his wrath. I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, and it's not my guilt to bear. From Megaera and Thanatos, we get the opposite message--I am fucking with things, I am hurting people, and I need to stop. Zagreus isn't just abandoning them, as a friend or brother or lover or all of the above they're Greek gods who even knows. He's betraying them. They were in this together, as friends or lovers or whatever, but now Zagreus is sending earthquakes through the minefield they both still have to stand in. He is about to capsize this boat in the middle of a thunderstorm, he is fucking with the system, and they're the ones who are going to get most hurt.

I'm so curious how this is going to work for Than, who out of everyone we meet holds the closest role to Nyx's in terms of being sheltered from Hades' wrath. He's the guy who gets to leave, after all, even though he always has to come back. I've seen the least of him out of anybody so far because it took forever for me to get to Elysium, but two things really stand out and I'm so interested to see where they go. One, he really genuinely does care about Zagreus. He wants us safe, he wants us unhurt, the accessory he gives us only grants its bonus if we clear a room without taking injury, he keeps showing up to help. And two, he wants us to give up and go back and recognize how good we had it. Which is SO fucking interesting, considering how miserable Zagreus so clearly was, and how legitimate his reasons for being miserable were.

It makes me wonder so much about Than's standards for comparison. Does he know something we don't about what's waiting for us on the surface, something that might theoretically hurt Zagreus even more than staying down below? Has his life, which apparently allows him more freedom than anybody else in the Court, sucked horribly in ways we haven't seen, and that's why he spends so little time there in the first place? Either of those things is plausible, both of those things are plausible, and yet either one leads to this sense of patronizing, because he refuses to simply tell us. If something terrible is awaiting us, don't give us vague warnings, tell us what it is and let us decide for ourself! If you're fucking jealous because we might get out entirely and you're still stuck coming back here, say so. If you're worried about your mom--and he does bring her up, how could Zagreus turn his back on her like that, does seem to worry for her--then let's have an actual conversation about how many times she has insisted I do this and also how much I love her.

And, right, it's clear that a lot of Thanatos being upset is simply, you were going to leave me without even saying goodbye, you want to leave ME, which is understandable! But, like, he is demonstrably the one god who gets to visit the surface. He's the one person we actually COULD expect to see again. And he is absolutely also upset because there's an Order To Things, and we're fucking it up. We used to be his careless callow reckless friend who could talk back to Hades and get away with it, and now we're not, and everything is changing and we might leave him altogether, and we might leave him alone in that court without us, and he hates it.

Is it a short-sighted, selfish fear on his part? Yes, absolutely. Even if he's not scared of Hades on his own behalf, he is still frightened by what happens if we upset this system--and maybe it's the sanctity of a much bigger system than the Underworld that he's worried about! Maybe it's the whole divine and cosmic order. Whatever system he wants so badly to protect is enabling the abuse Zagreus has been dealing with for however-long he's been alive. Whatever system he wants so badly to protect OUGHT to be overturned, or at least shaken up. But this is what toxic systems DO. They convince the people within them that they have to be maintained, that a broken system that hurts the people within it is far better than no system at all, that changing the world is too scary and too dangerous. And Thanatos wants his whatever-Zagreus-is-to-him to be there, because he loves him and also because that's how the world works, and those things are all tangled up in one another, and that is how relationships are in a messed-up family like this so therefore I love it.

And Meg. Meg, the best for last, my dear, beautiful, furious, bitter, scared angry tired girl. I adore her. I am absolutely never going to date her, because the thing Zagreus needs most in his life hurts her, more directly than anybody else in the story, and that sucks, and it's not Zag's fault but they still shouldn't be together. Meg has taken more injury from this situation than anyone, quite literally as well as metaphorically, and it's not her fault any more than it's ours, but oh boy it has made her lash out and it's awful and it's perfect.

Meg's place in the Court of Hades is unique because she's not dead, not a mortal, not anything other than a god--but she's also not family. Nyx is not her mother. She's very much part of this system, she and her two sisters belong to Hades-the-realm and therefore also Hades-the-king, she can't leave, but she also doesn't have that protection of Nyx watching out for her in the same way. She's not royalty. She and her sisters (if you ask Hesiod instead of Virgil, which seems to be the interpretation the game's going with here) sprang from the blood of maimed Uranus at the same time as Aphrodite, but fuck knows Aphrodite isn't claiming them as siblings. And she can't be fired, exactly, but she sure can be demoted, and she sure can be made miserable in her job. Meg is vulnerable in a way very few people in Hades' employ are. She's a lot harder to do away with than any one random shade, but she's also a lot harder to miss blending in with a crowd.

What's more, she's the one person in this whole mess who is specifically tasked with stopping us from leaving. Hypnos isn't ordered to put us to sleep and keep us in our room. Thanatos can't be compelled or punished if he doesn't hunt us down. Achilles isn't told to lock us up and keep the keys. Meg is the one stationed at the doorway to Tartarus to keep us in. Meg is the one who gets in trouble when we leave. Meg (who Hades knows goddamn well Zagreus cares for, or cared for, who he absolutely knows we used to date) is the one who has to fight us again and again and again. And she's the one who keeps dying.

Again, it's this incredibly fucked-up guilt/hostage situation deliberately designed to keep people from fleeing abusive situations. Meg's insistence on fighting us now puts Zagreus in the position of having to hurt her himself again and again. Now suddenly we're the ones sticking a sword in our ex-girlfriend. Now suddenly someone can point to our desire to leave, to flee, to escape, and say, how selfish. How cruel. How terrible of us to want to go, when we're even willing to hurt the people we love to do it.

Except, right: Hades is the one who demands Meg stand there and stop us. Hades is the one who puts both of us in that position. Meg is also in an abusive situation, and she's willing to hurt us to protect herself. "I'd rather be on your bad side than your father's." It's easy to blame her at the start for being complicit, for being a tool of our father's abuse, for being on his side. It gets harder as the game goes on. I've killed her so many times. There's no way for her to beat me. She knows at this point that she can't beat me. She still fights, every single time, still throws herself upon that spike, not because she thinks she has any chance of stopping me but because she is so damn scared of what will happen if she doesn't try.

In fact, Meg's the one person we have actually seen face consequences for our actions so far, instead of just facing the threat of them. Her sisters are here. Her sisters, who she clearly does not want here, who are wild and violent and who she does not want in her life or anywhere near her, let alone near the job she takes so much pride in. She gets to deal with them now. (Hades doesn't have to deal with them. They're still not allowed in his court. But Meg does.) She gets stabbed, and bludgeoned, and shot, and lightning-struck, and poisoned, and every other thing we do to her. Thanatos doesn't. Nyx and Achilles and Hypnos don't. Bug Meg? Oh yes. Meg pays.

And yes, ok, she is complicit in this system. Everybody is complicit in this system. Zagreus who's trying to escape on his own behalf instead of overthrowing his father for the sake of everyone he'd otherwise be leaving behind is complicit in this system. Pointing fingers and pulling strings of who's more at fault? and who do we blame for this? is exactly how this sort of system perpetuates itself. Your sister always talked back at the dinner table and put everyone in an even worse and more violent mood. Your coworker refuses to work more than forty hours a week so now you have to take overtime to pick up their slack. You're enabling your dad by asking your sister to shut up, you're enabling your employer by working as hard as you do so you don't get fired, everyone's at fault, everyone's to blame, everyone is--

It's not everyone. It's Hades. It's Hades at the root of everything, and probably something big and institutional and fucked-up even beyond him. But even if everyone down in this Underworld does have to be trapped here forever, even if he's trapped here forever, Hades is neither challenging the system that put them here nor trying to make that fate better for anyone else stuck with him. He's just created an entire kingdom of backbiting and misery and people who can either go along with his whims or suffer the consequences.

At this point in the game, Meg is so fucking tired. Every time we run into her in the lounge, hunched over a table, the venom in her voice when she tells us "Do I look like I have anything to say to you?" is so bitter and so exhausted. There was a system, and she knew her place in the system, and it was a system divinely ordered by the gods themselves, and sure it was cruel but that's the literal will of the universe as far as she knows it. She had a role, and her role was vengeance and punishment and violence against those who'd committed the most egregious of sins in life, and there was a point to it, she was the divine deterrent to convince people not to do those things, and that was just, and that was right. The GODS THEMSELVES said so. How do you argue with that? You can't possibly argue with that!

And Zagreus is arguing with that. In trying to leave, he's questioning the unbreakable rule that nothing in the Underworld ever gets to leave it. In disobeying his father to do so, he's questioning the unbreakable rule that what the gods say is LAW. He's breaking everything.

And of course he's not trying to do any of that. He's not trying to destabilize the system at all. He's just trying to get himself out of it, to a place where he feels like he belongs and maybe a parent who's slightly nicer to him than this one. But toxic systems like this one break when the people within them have access to another option. When the kids find a way to actually leave, and not answer the phone, and not come home for holidays, and not deal with it any more. When the employees have the economic freedom to quit. When opportunities granted by education, money, social support, etc etc etc, show up and give people a choice. Even if the option is only ever for Zagreus--he's demonstrating that an option exists. Which is, of course, the one thing the system cannot ever allow.

I really like this game.

#hades game #hades spoilers #C plays stuff #driveby meta attack

[lukescaboose]

So Into You

Hello everyone and Happy Valentine’s Day! I’m so excited to put this out into the world I’ve been working on it for almost a a year and its my first fic in nearly two years. I really hope you guys love it as much as I do and thanks so much if you choose to read it. love you all xx

Summary: Lauren and Harry are best friends who love each other and they both know it but Lauren is too stubborn to admit it.

What’s in it: Sugar sweet best friends to lovers with a healthy bit of smut. Black ofc.

Word count: 24.8k

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She couldn’t stop watching him from across the crowded dinner table. She admired him, his charisma and charm, his ability to dazzle a room without trying. She’d always loved that about him, way before she’d realized that she was in love with him anyway. It was his striking personality that had drawn her to him in the first place. Though they had never been anything more than best friends, Lauren was adamant to always let him know how much she appreciated that about him. And as she watched now she couldn’t help the small grateful smile from spreading across her lips. She was lucky enough to experience him for who he was and not because of the fame he had accumulated. Harry was everything to her. He reminded her that there were good people in the world, willing to give the shirt off their backs if it got someone else ahead.

Harry’s eyes met hers from the other end of the table, he offered her a smile and a silly face. She chuckled and looked away, her fingers coiling around the stem of her wine glass. She didn’t know anyone else besides Harry at this dinner party, but she knew how important it was to him that she’d be there. So she made an effort to make small talk with his colleagues around her but was easily lost when the conversation moved towards Harry’s business as the topic. She never cared for the limelight or wealth, her work dealt with children and the smiles she created were well worth it to her. Harry had felt the same, though his life had led him down a different path. His business created affordable living for lower-income families and he was very successful, though that didn’t matter to him.

Their aspiration for creating a change was how he and Lauren met. A benefit concert that Harry had put together drew Lauren’s attention and she brought some of her mentees. While the girls participated in the activities she wandered about to each vendor and learned about more ways to help within her community. It was when Harry had approached her that she thought her heart would lurch from her throat. He was incredibly handsome, dressed in a cream suit with a baby blue button-up undone at his chest. They talked, connected over their professions, and agreed to meet over dinner. It was no more than a networking opportunity, Lauren knew that a donation from Harry would secure a safe living environment for the girls at her group home. But when they met over dinner the conversation was endless and they talked until the restaurant was about to close. Harry had promised to make a donation to her home in exchange for her number. He was wildly attracted to Lauren, her dedication to her craft made him feel safe. She was ambitious, never righteous, and knew just how important her work was to the kids. He’d donate all of his earnings to her if it meant he got to see her again. 

As much as Lauren was attracted to Harry she’d never mix business with her own personal life, she was very adamant about that. Harry didn’t feel the same way but settled for friends if it meant that she’d be in his life. So they’d meet up for drinks often and discuss the labors of their work life, but the more they’d see each other the easier it was to blur the lines between colleagues and friends. Soon enough they’d begun to go over each other’s places and share the intimate details of their lives. They enjoyed each other’s company, knew how many people in their line of work only cared about money. Harry and Lauren both used their heart in everything they accomplished. With Harry’s personality and refreshing outlook on life, it was easy for Lauren to fall into a friendship with Harry - so much so he became her favorite confidant. It was nice for Harry to find someone who wasn’t interested in piggybacking on the tails of his success. Lauren had shared the same vision he did, the reward was simply making a difference. Though if it were up to Harry, he’d put Laurens name on every deal he’d ever signed, at the end of every speech he’d ever delivered. She was very much just as part of his success as he was and he’d never be able to repay her. He couldn’t imagine where he’d be without her, probably wouldn’t have made it as far as he had. Lauren listened to every idea he’d ever had, adding her input to his three A.M. thoughts. Without her, he’d probably be the same twenty-two-year-old kid with a dream.  

The dinner ended with Harry thanking his team for helping him achieve his vision. He made sure to give special thanks to Lauren, which had her smiling sheepishly at her dinner plate. Though he did that often, it never failed to make her cower under the stare of his colleagues. Harry smiled brightly at her from the head of the table reassuring her that without her none of this would have been possible. The opening of a new recreational center was Lauren's idea and she had pushed Harry way past his comfort zone when she presented it to him. The project was their baby and to see it come to light was something neither of them took for granted. Although Lauren wanted none of the praise or acknowledgment, Harry could never pretend as if this was all his doing. 

Lauren watched as Harry greeted and thanked his colleagues for coming. She stayed back, wanting to be the last to speak with him. They were going out for celebratory drinks, Harry’s idea. As the final group made their way out of the restaurant, Harry engulfed Lauren in a hug. “Feels good huh?” He asked her, placing a small kiss to her temple. She pulled away from their embrace, grabbing his hand in hers with a nod. “Really spectacular, Harry.” She beamed up at him. “All thanks to you, love. Still can’t believe you shot down my idea of putting your name on the building.” He frowned. She shushed him with a laugh, pulling him towards the entrance. 

Harry made sure to order Lauren’s favorite drink as she found a table for them to sit at. He brought the drinks back to her, ignoring the frown etched on her lips because he paid. He slid in next to her in the rounded booth, pushing her drink towards her with a smile. “Cheers to another advancement in the community and for all of your brilliant ideas.” He extended his glass to hers. She rolled her eyes jokingly at him but clanked her glass against his anyway. Harry grabbed her hand that rested on the table, capturing her gaze with his own with a bout of sincerity. “Thank you, Lauren, seriously. I couldn’t have done this without you.”  His calloused thumb rubbed over the smooth skin of her hand and she smiled. “We make a good team.” She grinned. “You give me any more ideas and I’m putting you on the payroll.” He chuckled over the rim of his glass, earning himself another eye roll from Lauren. “M’just supporting your vision.” She reminded him, taking a sip from her beverage. “Our vision.” He corrected her swiftly.  She smiled at him then, his kindness something she never took for granted. It was one of the reasons she found herself so desperately falling for him. He made it so hard for her not to want him in the ways that she did. She moved her hand from his hold and brought it to toy with her hair. She’d worn it natural tonight, the curls retracting when she let the strand free. 

“Like your hair like tha’.” He remarks, eyes following the actions of her fingers. Her gaze follows his, the curl she’d previously been playing with in front of her eyes now.

 “Thank you, took a long time.” She sighs, pushing the curl from her vision. He laughs, finishing the contents of his glass.

 “I know, seen you on wash day plenty of times.” She chuckles, shaking her head. “S’my favorite though.” He finishes with a sigh. A compliment was never far from his lips when he was around Lauren. Most of the time he did it without realizing it, always wanting to share whatever was on his mind with her. Other times he complimented her just because he liked the way her eyes shifted after. He found it funny that she always acted as if she’s heard something that wasn’t meant for her. That only made him reassure her that he was in fact speaking to her. She was gorgeous and he’d always tell her, she deserved to hear it. Lauren’s palms always got sweaty whenever he did that. She had never felt so seen and acknowledged as she did when she was around Harry. He was always bragging about her, even if he was the only one to hear it. He’d always felt that things that were incredible needed to be celebrated - in this case, his “thing” was just a “who”. She smiles appreciatively, the melanin in her skin hiding the inevitable blush. He never failed to make her flush. 

“You’re too kind.” She laughs, finishing the contents of her drink. The remaining ice hits the glass audibly and she sighs, settling back into her seat.

 “Only to you.” Harry winks at her, fanning a fire inside her chest that only he could put out. When he leaves to grab them a refill Lauren lets out an audible breath. She always feels like she’s holding the air inside her lungs whenever she’s around Harry. His compliments and praise suffocate her to the point where she feels dizzy. And if this were the way she was to die she’d be more than okay with that. She had never felt this way in her entire life. Men and relationships came and went, but this one she felt everywhere. It was like he had cast a spell on her, consuming her thoughts with every waking word and she didn’t mind but always felt relieved when she came back to earth. He was just so charming, to the point where it was hard to focus on anything else but him. She knew it wasn’t only her that felt this way, Harry had a way about him that would captivate his company. He drew people in, that’s what he was good at, and for her, he’d never stop until she succumbed to his charm. 

“For you, angel.” He slid the glass towards her, making himself comfy by her side. She smiles and thanks him, expelling the air between her lips after she swallows. “How’re the girls?” He asks, the tension is thick between them but he had grown used to it by this point. It was always like this, tense but comfortable, exciting even. Harry always looked forward to the times where they could be alone and catch up, even if he spent the majority of the time thinking about how beautiful she was. Lauren wipes the condensation from her glass onto a napkin, her eyes gleaming as she thinks about the girls from her job. 

“They’re great.” She responds with a chuckle, “So wickedly smart those girls.” Her mind travels to her mentees and how they always kept her on her toes with their insightful questions. They were always changing Lauren’s perspective on things and sometimes she felt that they were teaching her more than she was teaching them. 

“That’s great. And everything with the home is okay?” He queried and she nods with a smile. 

“What about you, big shot? Any new news that I should know?” She shoves at his shoulder lightly, having read in the paper that he had opened a new development on the west side of town. He laughs lightheartedly, his hand reaching up to wipe over his mouth. 

“I’ve been quite busy.” He shrugs then places his arm over the back of the booth. Lauren finds it difficult not to fall into his side. Even though she desperately wants to and Harry hopes that she does.

 “I’d say.” She chuckles. She places her chin in her hand, turning her body towards Harry’s. He fights the urge to lean into her, always wanting to be closer than what she’d allow. “Proud of you.” She murmurs, brown eyes watching over his face. He smiles a dimpled smile at her and clinks his glass against hers as a thank you. 

It's quiet for a moment, the bar is more upscale with very few patrons and Harry is grateful. Though he knows better than to think anything different, he almost lets himself believe that they’re on a date. Every moment spent with her felt intimate, whether those were her intentions or not, and most times Harry didn’t mind playing pretend. “You know,” He drags out the words, catching Lauren’s attention and she fights the urge to roll her eyes. Whenever he started a sentence that way a new idea followed. 

“Why don’t you take a break for a while, H. Bask in the moment for a bit.” She sighs, gently placing her hand over his. Lauren had come to learn very quickly that Harry wasn’t very fond of rest. Unlike herself, he was always bouncing from one venture to the next. She always felt like she needed a month's rest after one big thing. Though they were polar opposites, they worked together and were always pulling each other out of their comfort zones.

 “I know, love. Which is exactly why I booked us a getaway.” He grinned, that stupid grin that always made Lauren’s insides quiver. She furrowed her eyebrows at him, the confusion setting in after the initial shock. Harry gripped her hand that was already on his, squeezing gently as he beamed at her. “Know you’ve got some time off and I know how hard it is for you to actually distance yourself from your work. So, I figured, why not get away so you can actually take care of yourself for a bit.” He shrugs sheepishly and she continues to stare at him in bewilderment. Finding it hard to believe that he had actually done something like this. Not that this was something he’d never do, getaways were always something he’d bring up. But each time, Lauren would shoot it down with the excuse of work. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to go, she didn’t trust herself to go. Now she had no excuse, no safety net to catch her when she was in this kind of predicament. The way he was looking at her with such hopeful eyes was enough for her to contemplate saying yes for a moment. 

“Please, Lau” He pleaded when she was quiet for a moment too long. “You know how much we both could use this and there’s no better time. I’m stepping away for a bit since this project is completed, and I’d love nothing more than to run away for a bit with you.” She couldn’t help but smile softly at his words, even in the midst of her panic. There was no excuse good enough that he would accept, and she had no real reason not to go. Harry knew her boundaries and always respected them, she had no reason to believe that anything would change when they went away.

“How long?” she raised an eyebrow at him and his smile grew, knowing she was cracking. 

“Five nights,” He felt giddy as his body leaned in towards hers. “Santa Monica, beach view, close to the pier.” 

“Hotel?” 

“Airbnb.”

Her smile grew larger as the excitement set in, just as Harry knew it would. She had mentioned one time, a feeble excuse to get out of a vacation, that hotels were just as strict as work. She hated the rigidness and that you could never make a hotel feel like home. She always felt like she was sharing her vacation with a hundred other strangers, the shared amenities alone were enough to make her stay as far away as possible.

 “Fine.” She grinned.

 “You’re gonna love it, I promise.” Harry went on to explain the intricate details of their trip. They would leave that upcoming weekend, all their expenses were paid for. And he was certainly not budging on that. “You wouldn’t even let me compensate you for the brilliant idea of a rec center, Lau. Let me do this for you, Lord knows you deserve it.” He sighed. He ran a hand through his hair exasperatedly, her stubbornness has always been something he could do without. He admired it at times, adored it others, but when it got in the way of him trying to express his appreciation for her, he hated it. She stuck her tongue out at him teasingly.

 “I’m paying you back whether you like it or not.” She huffed, pulling her hand away from his albeit reluctantly.

 “And I’ll match it and donate it to a foundation of your choosing, princess.” She crossed her arms over her chest like a child which only made Harry chuckle.

 “Thank you, but I hate you right now.” She pouts. 

Harry shrugs and nods his glass towards her, “You can hate me on the beach, darling.” 

***

“All packed, lovie?” His voice echoes through the receiver as her phone lays on her dresser. She huffed, loud enough that she knew he’d hear it, whilst shoving random items into her dusty suitcase. It took her forever just to find the old thing. Mostly reserved for trips back home - which were few and far between - it was shoved in the back of the hall closet. She had made a list loaded with essentials to bring, but she wished she had cuter outfits to bring. It was stupid and she knew it, but despite how many times she told herself she shouldn’t, she wanted to impress Harry. 

“Just about, wish I had some new things to wear. Meant to go shopping this week but got caught up at work every day.” She groaned, pulling a bikini from her bottom drawer. It was barely enough to be considered cute but it would have to do.

 “Can always go shopping when we get there.” His voice sounded further away now, she reckoned he’d put the phone down somewhere as she had.

 “And overpay ridiculously at some tourist shop? No thanks.” She chuckled, now going through her summer basket.

 “I’ll take you to the nearest Target as soon as we land, how’s tha’ sound?” She laughed loudly, wishing she could smack away the smirk that was adorning his features inevitably. 

 “Oh I’ll be holding you to that, can’t possibly bring all my hair products on the plane.” The thought of that made her slightly nauseous. She didn’t want to pay for products that she wouldn’t be able to bring back home, but it was a small price to pay for a free vacation. 

“Thought you had an appointment to get your hair braided today? S’that why I never got those pictures I asked for?” She could practically hear the pout in his voice, and it was moments like these that made it difficult to distinguish what their relationship really was. She was certain he had only meant that he wanted to see her hair because that is what any friend would want, but her mind allowed her to believe that he was genuinely interested. Which he was, but Lauren was too stubborn to see anything for what it truly was. 

“I was getting butterfly locs, doofus, had to cancel last minute though.” She sighed at another added stressor.

 “Can’t go tomorrow? Our flights not til 10:30 at night, love.” He was closer to the phone now, sat on the end of his bed, and thinking of any way to make things right for her. He didn’t want her to worry about her hair or anything else for that matter, which is exactly why when he booked the hair appointment he had also placed a deposit for the next day just in case anything should go wrong. 

“Probably not, she’s definitely booked by now.” Lauren didn’t want to dwell on it much, though she knew how much she wanted that hairstyle. She could never find the time to get it done and thought it was perfect for a vacation of any sort. 

“Give her a call tomorrow morning, bug. Doesn’t hurt to ask.” Harry tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, knew she’d flip her shit if she knew what he’d done. 

“I’ll have to pay extra, it’s not even worth it.”

 He rolled his eyes on his end, “About the same amount you’ll waste on hair products, I reckon. You want your hair done, go get it done.” He huffed, hoping that would do the trick, he had no other moves up his sleeve. She was quiet for a moment and he knew she was contemplating his suggestion. 

“Fine. I’ll call her, but I don’t want to be let down again.” She picked at the lint on her carpet as she bit her lip and Harry tried his best not to chuckle.

 “If it doesn’t work out I promise to help retwist your hair every night before bed, deal?” He smiled at nothing in particular, laying back against his duvet while thinking about just how soft her hair was. He even contemplated canceling the appointment just so he’d have the chance to be close to her. 

“You’re impossible.” She laughed. The thought of not calling at all crossed her mind for a moment before she pushed it away, telling herself she’d revisit his words later. 

They’d hung up the phone a bit later after Lauren promised to share the outcome of tomorrow morning. Harry was excited to revel in just how happy she’d be to look the way she wanted and he was happy he was able to do that for her. He’d do anything just to see her smile, the consequences he was sure to face for it were minuscule. 

***

Just as he knew he would, the next day at around 2 o’clock he received a call from an angry Lauren. He quickly switched the call to video just to see her pretty face and couldn’t keep the grin off his own. She looked more gorgeous than he ever thought imaginable - though he thought that whenever he saw her - it was hard to focus on the irate nature of her tone. Apparently, when Lauren went to pay, the hairdresser spilled the beans that an English gentleman had already footed the bill, and had left a pretty generous tip. Which left Lauren flushing and dodging questions from her regular stylist with empty promises to answer her inquiries later. She rushed from the salon to call Harry immediately, her skin on fire with anger and simultaneously, appreciation.

 “Well aren’t you a vision?” He interrupts her rant as soon as her camera connects which makes her stutter out a thank you in the midst of her rambling. 

“You’re racking up quite a bill here, Styles.” She huffs as she gets into her car, and Harry can’t keep his eyes off his screen. He was sure that this vacation was sure to put the nail in his coffin but he didn’t mind. He had it bad for her and would do it again and again.

 “S’ nothing if I get to see you smile.” He reminds her, rolling over in his covers. He was faintly aware of just how late in the day it was becoming but figured rest was best before a vacation where his thoughts and attention would solely be on her. He ignores the way she rolls her eyes, his eyes watching the golden charms wrapped around her hair. “Seriously though, your hair looks very nice.” He hums and watches as she bites her lip to avoid smiling. 

“How’d you know what hair to buy, anyway? You didn’t even know what they were called.” She pesters.

 “Oh, I have my ways, darling.” Truthfully he had asked for a detailed list from the hairstylist on where to go and what to buy. He insisted that he pay for her time but she told him he had already given her plenty, which didn’t stop him from tipping her slightly more than necessary. 

“You make it so hard to be mad at you.” She scowled. Harry followed with a deep laugh, only wiping the frown from Lauren’s face just as quickly as it had formed.

 “Because I don’t deserve for you to be mad at me!” He grinned widely at his phone, all consumed with her presence.

 “That’s for me to decide, Styles. I’m not talking to you for the whole flight, swear it.” She nodded in agreement with herself, which only made Harry laugh harder.

 “We both know I don’t need your response to talk your ear off, sweetheart.” And he was right, that was one of the things Lauren loved most about him, his rambling. She could be dead asleep and he’d talk just to hear his thoughts aloud and she truly did not mind. She couldn’t count the times she had fallen asleep to the sound of his voice whether it be over the phone or in person. In fact, she preferred succumbing to sleep that way. The slow forming words on rose-colored lips painted her dreams anyhow.

She’d made it the entire ride to the airport, the trek through security, and half of the wait for boarding without talking to him. A task that was easier said than done. He was purposefully bringing up topics he knew she loved to talk about, and reveled in the way her face would twist when she caught herself opening her mouth to respond. She was more than ready to give up the charade but knew his satisfaction was not something she wanted to hear about. So she persisted, busied herself with her emails, and ignored Harry’s remark about taking a break from work. 

“How long y’gonna torture me like this, love?” His hushed tone against her ear had her shifting nervously in the uncomfortable airport chair. “Reckon everyone around thinks I’m just some lonely lad.” A cold shudder ran down her spine at his proximity and the feeling of his breath against the shell of her ear.  She was frozen in her place for a moment, the tempest in her brain willing her to give in. She needed to stay strong, assert any type of willpower at this moment. She figured it was time to change the outcome of how these things usually go. He was pulling all his stops and normally this is where she’d cave. But Lauren wondered what would come next, although against her best interest. So she stuck to her guns. She slid further into her chair, crossing her legs to draw Harry’s attention, and continued to scroll. He huffed, his hair tickling her cheek as he dropped his head dramatically. 

“Fine.” He slouched into his own seat, grumpily looking down at his own phone. His obvious pout was visible from Lauren’s peripheral and she found it difficult not to stare at it. Her thoughts reminded her that she was only punishing herself. So he had done a nice thing, so what? When’s the last time that anyone had been so thoughtful? The man had made two appointments and picked out braiding hair. But that was precisely the problem. Those were the reasons why she was as mad as she was. Harry had once again made it harder for her to distinguish the nature of their relationship. Then she was reminded that the only reason Harry was being kept at arm’s length was because of her in the first place. This then brought up the impenetrable fact that the relationship that they had built was too special to damage with self-indulgences. So the indifferent look on her face remained for just a while longer. Until they were seated next to each other, closer than could possibly be comfortable, she hated airlines for that. Unbeknownst to her, Harry was tempted to buy the first-class seats but knew better not to. No matter how uncomfortable he was in the tiny seats of economy-class. 

“Can’t leave me lonely the whole trip, can you? I’m on my knees here, darling.” He pleaded, trying his best to meet her eye but she wouldn’t let him. 

“You’re sitting actually.” She said pointedly, still making an effort to not return his gaze. He sighed in relief, dropping his head against her shoulder.

 “Geeze, love had me dying.” He mumbled. “Thought I’d have to start singing to ya.” He slumped into his chair, making himself as cozy as possible.

 “Wouldn’t have minded, know how much I love when you sing.” She teased, offering a small smile that tugged on the corner of her mouth. Harry flushed at her compliment, he only ever sang for her and his mum. He drops his head with a sheepish grin, fingers fiddling his rings for a second. Lauren softens deeper when she catches his diffident actions, knowing just how vulnerable he is about that area of his life. 

She had caught him singing on accident the first time, they were making dinner in the kitchen of his place, one of his many playlists going in the background. She remembered chopping onions to ‘Sparks’ by Coldplay when she’d heard him. It was faint at first, barely audible over the music, but this enticed her to listen harder. She turned from her position quickly, walking to his side of the kitchen to grab the kitchen towel. She was happy he hadn’t stopped when she approached him and decided to not comment on it then. He was rather good, a lovely voice she’d noted. It was unlike Harry to not flaunt the areas he was rather good in and Lauren figured it was something he wasn’t keen on sharing.  It wasn’t until he sang twice more that she spoke up. They were in her living room, the TV muted and a playlist of her own droning in the background. That was how they shared songs with each other, shazam’ing secretly in the other’s presence. Mac Ayres’s ‘Slow Down’ was playing softly and Harry began to sing absentmindedly.

 “Y’know this one?” She’d said without considering it, closing her mouth quickly afterward. Harry looked at her guiltily, nodding with a small chuckle. 

“Looked it up last time you played it.” He admitted. Lauren grinned, she always took secret pride in introducing Harry to new things. 

“You’ve got a nice voice, by the way.” She scrolled down her timeline in an effort to not watch for his reaction, knew he’d be a bit embarrassed. Which he was, he’d never thought of the possibility of Lauren actually hearing him. He knew that it wasn’t unlikely that she had, he had become that comfortable with her he supposed. But nevertheless, the compliment had him turning crimson. She never said anything about it after that. She wanted him to be comfortable around her, a safe space like he was for her. 

“Maybe I should sing more often if it means you’ll be mad at me less.” He chuckled, scratching his jaw in recovery.

 “Maybe you’ll be so busy singing, you won’t be able to do the things you do that make me mad.” Lauren smiles a closed-lipped sarcastic smile which only makes Harry grin.

 “Touche.”

 The seatbelt light dings then, signaling their takeoff and their attention is lost from one another. Lauren turns to look out the window, her blanket folded over her legs. She wore shorts in preparation for the warm weather upon their arrival, but it was a terrible idea. Her thighs stuck to every chair she sat in and the peeling of her skin from the fake leather was causing irritation. Harry could see the grimace in her face whenever he extended his hand to help her up, and at first, he thought it was because she was angry with him. It was when she rubbed tenderly at the back of her thigh that he realized. He offered to buy her some sweats from the tourist shop but the scowl she’d made was enough for him to not push it further. That was exactly what had gotten him the silent treatment in the first place. Instead, he placed his courtesy airline blanket over her chair before she sat down. Lauren wanted to be mad that he continued to be unreasonably sweet to her even without paying for anything, but she was too relieved to care. She had also worn short sleeves - which was a rookie mistake - and was deciding if it was her legs or arms that would suffer. Harry had layered up and truthfully didn’t mind. Lauren unfolded the blanket and extended some to him with a small apologetic smile. He returned one of his own, lifting the armrest between them.

 “Here get some rest, you had a long day today.” Lauren rests her head against his shoulder without a word, more than grateful for his offer. Harry rests his cheek on her head, inhaling her scent quietly. 

***

“Wake up, love.” Harry puts the rental in park, reaching over to gently touch her arm. “Food will be here soon.” Lauren lifts her head from the window, groggy and disoriented. She groans, stretching within the small confines of the vehicle.

 “What’d you order?” She grumbles, stifling a yawn with her words as she undoes her seatbelt.

 “Chinese. Got that sushi you like too.” He smiles softly at her though she’s not looking. He had decided that he’d let himself play pretend for a while, figured it couldn't hurt to just let himself be. If that meant living in delusion for the duration of their vacation, then so be it. He’d be there waiting until she wanted to make it a reality anyhow. 

The Airbnb was very quaint and sweet. Harry tried hard to find something that would feel like home for Lauren and still offered a nice view of the beach. He walked behind her through the front door, lugging a suitcase and waiting anxiously for her reaction. The layout of the space was open, not too much focus on the living room but rather on the kitchen that harnessed the view of the pier. Bright blues and grays decorated the home, deep mahogany hardwood adding just the right touch of home. 

“Oh, H.” Lauren breathed, her eyes wide as she took in her surroundings.

 “Do you like it?” He asks nervously, placing the suitcase by the door. There were more bags to be grabbed from the car, but he was enjoying the look on Lauren’s face far more.

 “It’s amazing, Harry. Really, I love it.” She turns to him, sporting a smile larger than Harry has ever seen her wear, and he wishes he could make her smile like that every day for the rest of his life. His arms wrap around her figure when she embraces him, placing a small kiss on his cheek. “Thank you, I appreciate this.” She says, letting her fingers graze his face in their close proximity. Lauren smiles gently, hoping that her words were enough to express just how appreciative she really is. No one had ever gone as far as to consider the small details that were important to her. She was genuinely grateful to have a friend like Harry.

“Anything to see you smile, you know that.” He speaks softly, the pad of his thumb rubbing small circles at her back. He places a slow kiss on her forehead, letting his lips linger for far longer than they should before pulling away. “I’m gonna grab the rest of our stuff.” His tone is just above a whisper, and Lauren is too enchanted with him to say anything before he’s out the door and down the porch steps. 

She was enamored by her surroundings, Harry’s sweet touch, and his words - things that would usually overwhelm her. But given her circumstances, she had never felt more cared for, the grave she had dug for herself had just become several inches deeper. She ran her hands along the cold stone of the large island, gazing into the darkness out the large windows. There was an alcove on the opposite side of the room that overlooked the scenery that was sure to be stunning in the morning, and Lauren was glad she had brought her favorite book along. She wanted to wait for Harry before going on a proper tour of the home, but curious eyes had her wandering down the long hallway. From what she had seen, there seemed to be no upstairs to the home and she was grateful. She hated homes that felt divided into too many parts. She decided to wait for Harry before checking the rooms out and made her way back to the kitchen. On the opposite side, there were large sliding doors that led out to a massive backyard with a pool that was lit up a light purple color. The air warmed her skin as she ventured outside, eyes resting on the patio set that would be perfect for breakfast in the morning. She made a note to wake up early so she could make breakfast for him. She’d already noticed that the cabinets and fridge were stocked full of groceries, surely something Harry had arranged, and she wanted to do something special for him. 

“Gorgeous isn’t it?” His voice startled her, only bringing a smile to his face as he leaned against the doorframe. She turned to face him, a shocked expression on her face and he couldn’t tell if it was the view or his sudden reappearance that had caused it. Lauren shifted on her feet, looking back out towards the view where she could vaguely make out the shape of the sea. “It really is, Har. I can’t thank you enough.” She breathes, fidgeting with her fingers as she speaks. The thought of how much he must’ve spent on such a nice stay made her uneasy but she figured she’d just enjoy it, there was no use in arguing over it.

 “The food’s here if you’re hungry, darling. After we eat we could go on a little tour if you’re not too tired.” He hums, twisting his rings around his fingers. He wasn’t uncomfortable with her around, only slightly surprised that he had even made it this far. He knew it would be a long shot to even get her to agree to come along with him, and it was nice to see that his efforts weren’t in vain. Harry honestly thought he’d take the trip by himself and sulk around the pier for a week. He hadn’t thought about what would happen if she actually came along with him, figured he wouldn’t get his hopes up with wishful thinking. 

“That sounds lovely actually.” She sighs, her stomach growling at the mention of food and Harry offers his hand to her before leading her into the kitchen. Lauren ushers him to sit, telling him the least he can do is let her make his plate. They had similar ways of showing their appreciation for each other, though Harry spent way too much money. Lauren liked to do little things for him, pick up a book he hadn’t gotten around to purchasing, unloading his dishwasher every now and again. They were always subtle actions that she didn’t think Harry realized but he always did. It was the way those little thoughtful acts made him feel that had him showering her with gifts and his constant attention. Those things were priceless to him and everything he did was in an effort to repay her. 

He remembered when he moved to Georgia after finishing college and how he felt like it would never feel like home. He had always figured he’d move back to England after school but there were more opportunities in the states for him. The first year was lonely, so he threw himself into his work and made friends that way, but nothing felt quite right. He always felt like a visitor until he met Lauren, she was his roots. Not the job, or his apartment, but her. As he watched her plate his food for him he couldn’t help but smile fondly at his best friend. She didn’t know it, but she was the reason he had stayed in Atlanta for as long as he had. Sure new opportunities had arisen for him in various places, but he only wanted to be wherever she was. 

“Better than home, huh?” She said over a mouthful of food. They had eaten mostly in silence, tired from a long day of traveling. The silence was nice now that Harry wasn’t being forced into it. He nodded while wiping his mouth, chuckling at Lauren’s terrible table manners. “Only by a little, you know how good the food is back home.” He leaned back in his chair, pushing his cleared plate away from him. She nodded in agreement, setting her fork on her own plate and letting out a sigh of content. Harry moved to clear their spots but she stopped him, insisting that she’d do the dishes in just a bit. He frowned at her but she wasn’t budging, grabbing his hand in hers to keep him seated.

 “You can throw away the garbage, but I’ll clean up. Let me, please.” She sighed, knowing that if she let him she’d never lift a finger the whole trip. 

“Deal, but let’s do the tour first then we’ll clean and unpack its getting late.” It was a little after one in the morning and the pair were exhausted. 

Harry kept her hand in his for the entire walk around the house, most excited when he showed her the courtyard, promising her it was more spectacular in the daytime. Lauren was in awe of everything he showed her, thinking that even if they never left this rental home her trip would still be well spent. He watched her choose which room she wanted, chuckling gently when her eyes widened at the size of the master. Complete with an en suite that encompassed a clawfoot tub she almost drooled at, she insisted that Harry take the largest room. Of course, he was prepared for the stubborn conversation that followed and in the end, Lauren’s suitcase was placed at the foot of the bed. She feigned a pout as she unpacked her bags, but Harry could see just how happy she truly was. His room was just across the hall, with an equally spectacular view just sans a patio. Harry didn’t care where he slept as long as she got everything she deserved. 

“Afraid your bed is comfier than mine.” He groaned, pushing his face deeper into the mountain of pillows. 

“Oh don’t start! I told you to take the room.” She stood at the end of the bed with her hands on her hips, a half-folded shirt crumpled in her fist. Harry laughed tiredly, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles. 

“M’just kidding, love. I swear a cardboard box would be just as fine right now.” He yawns dramatically, reaching his arms above his head.

“Head on to bed then, H. Know you’re tired.” She hums, putting the last of her things into the dresser. She liked putting her things away even when on vacation, it made her feel slightly more comfortable with staying somewhere that wasn’t home. 

“I should, shouldn’t I?” He sits up and runs a hand through his disheveled hair. She hums and makes her way towards the bathroom to wash her face. “Goodnight, love. I’m right across the hall if you need a cuddle.” He says sleepily. 

Lauren smiles at him through the mirror as he stands behind her, placing a small kiss on the back of her head. “Might take you up on that, I can never sleep well the first night of vacation.” She sighs, rubbing her cleanser into her skin gently. 

“Well if that’s the case I’ll just sleep in here with you tonight. Can’t have you tired on our first day.” He hums. She nods, more excited than she dared to admit out loud about sharing a bed with him. Sure they had plenty of times before after a night out or a hang out that lasted a bit too long. But it had been a long time since the last time.

 “I’ll go get ready for bed, be back in a minute.” She nodded again without a word, finishing up her routine by brushing her teeth. She was slightly happy that she had made it around to do some shopping and had picked up a couple of cute pajama sets.  The thought of wearing her oversized t-shirts on vacation wasn’t all that appealing and nice pajamas were always good to have. 

A few moments later as promised, Harry was snug in her bed waiting for her. It was definitely a sight she could get used to but decided not to think about too much. She tossed her old clothes into her travel hamper that she’d neatly set up in the closet before making her way to the dresser. Harry watched her with curious eyes as she applied lotion to her skin, making a note that she always used that brand before bed, he was sure to buy her more when they got home. He watched as she put her hair up into her bonnet, giggling sleepily at how cute she looked.

 “Literally takes you an hour just to get into bed, come on I’m sleepy.” He whines, sinking deeper into the covers. She laughs, assuring him that she’s almost done. She takes off her rings and places them neatly with the rest of her jewelry before climbing into bed and turning off the bedside lamp. Harry extends his arms to her, willing her to come closer and she obliges, settling softly against his chest. She doesn’t mind when he entwines their legs, twisting their bodies together so it’s hard to tell where his begins and hers ends. 

“So happy you’re here.” He murmurs, his breath tickling at her ear. Lauren’s stomach swarms within itself as he pulls her impossibly closer, fingers tracing aimlessly at her back.

 “Happy to be here.”  

Untangling herself from Harry the next morning was one of the hardest things Lauren feels she has ever had to do. He was so warm and the way he groaned when she pulled away from him almost broke her heart wide open. When she was finally free of his grabby hands and pouty face she shuffled to the bathroom, promising that she’d only be gone for a minute. It was the only thing that the sleepy man would acquiesce, although she knew she wasn’t coming back. It was 8:30 in the morning, far too early for Lauren’s liking, but she was excited to cook in the beautiful kitchen down the hall. After sliding on her slippers she quietly made her way towards the door, looking back to see Harry cuddled up with the pillow she had previously occupied. She smiled softly, closing the door behind her. 

Thirty minutes later, the bacon and eggs were cooking and a mountain of assorted pancakes sat prettily on a plate. Lauren sang along softly to Harry’s playlist as she cooked, carefully scrambling cheese into the eggs so they would be perfect. She had cut up some of the fresh fruit and set it up nicely in a glass bowl, everything waiting on the island to be brought outside. Harry wandered groggily down the hall, the smell of food pulling him out of his sleep. He wasn’t all too pleased when he woke up and Lauren wasn’t beside him. He had slept better than he had in a while last night and was looking forward to waking up with her in his arms. Lauren had felt the same, she wasn’t much of a cuddler and usually liked her space when she shared a bed with someone else, but it was different with Harry. With him, she didn’t feel smothered or overwhelmed, but safe and warm. 

“You didn’t come back.” He pouts when he reaches the kitchen, leaning on the counter beside her. 

She chuckles, removing the eggs from the pan and onto a plate. “Made you breakfast.” She smiles and the pout leaves his lips immediately.

 “I know, woke up to the smell of it. Looks good, bug.” She swats his hand when he cheekily pops a diced pineapple into his mouth.

 “S’just about ready, need your help taking everything outside though.” She says as she takes the bacon out of the oven. He nods and begins to fill his arms carefully. Lauren had already brought the plates and silverware out, along with the orange juice and glasses. She followed Harry outside carrying the eggs and bacon, taking a seat when everything was set up nicely. 

“Thank you for this, I appreciate it.” He says once they’re settled and Lauren is done taking a video for her Instagram story. She sighs around a mouth full of pancakes, wiping her mouth when she swallows. 

“The least I could do, really.” She looks out towards the yard, which was even more beautiful in the daytime. They could see the beach from here, the sun glistening on the ocean, and a breeze wafting the scent through the air. 

“What do you want to do today? Didn’t really plan any activities for us so we can relax.” He shovels a forkful of pancakes into his mouth, fighting the urge to moan at how delicious they were. He always loved her cooking and was grateful that she cooked for him often.

 Lauren shrugs indifferently, “Not really in the mood to go anywhere. I do wanna take a bath in that tub though.” She laughs. 

Harry nods along with a chuckle, knowing that would be her answer. “Guess we could hang out by the pool then, sounds good to me.” 

Lauren had stayed in the bath for longer than she had promised, just as Harry knew she would. She could see him go out to the backyard after about twenty minutes of soaking from the window adjacent to the tub. She watched as he applied sunscreen and laid out for a while, and knew it would only be a matter of time before he was knocking on her door because he was lonesome. Just as she predicted, five minutes later he rose from his chair and sulked inside. Lauren couldn’t fight the laugh as she rose from the tub, stepping out carefully. After drying off and putting her robe on she opens the door only to find him standing there, a pout on his rosy lips.

 “I know, I know. I’m coming, sugar.” She breathes, chuckling at his sorry expression. This only makes his frown deepen, moving to the side as she steps into the bedroom. “I saw you out there, looked miserable.” Harry sits on the bed and she opens the dresser to find a suit, pulling out two before tossing the other back into the drawer.

 “Always miserable without you.” He picks aimlessly at the comforter before twisting his rings around his fingers.

 “You’re a whiny little thing, aren’t you?” She chastises him in a feeble attempt to not dwell on his words for too long. She was used to his behavior, knew how vocal he always was about the way he felt. But she was not used to hearing it constantly like she was, and it was becoming more and more difficult to pass it off for just friendly banter. They’d never spent more than 24 hours together, mostly Lauren’s own doing,  and it was becoming easy to think he meant the things he said differently than she thought he had. It was nice to play pretend for a while, but she knew better than that. Nothing good would come out of fantasizing over someone she couldn’t have. 

“Only when you take too long, bug.” Lauren shakes her head at him and goes to the bathroom to change, purposely putting a noticeable pep in her step. Harry laughs behind her, falling back to lay against the covers of the unmade bed. She had reprimanded him for that earlier, but neither of them had made any efforts to fix it. 

When he sits up again his throat goes completely dry at the sight of her in her yellow bikini. He didn’t know much about women’s swimsuits, but he was certain this one was made for her. Unconsciously, he licks his bottom lip, pulling it into his mouth with his teeth as she rubs some sunscreen into her skin. He had seen her in a bathing suit plenty of times before, but that was before he’d fully come to terms with the way he felt about her. She always looked good no matter what she had on and he always was sure to tell her, even before she was the sun, the moon, and the stars to him. 

“S’that new?” He said, shifting to rest with his hand behind him. 

“Yeah, got it before we left. Do you like it?” She does a turn for him and he almost wishes she hadn’t. Her figure was full, hips and an ass to match. Her stomach had some give to it, creating a pudge that she always tried to hide.

 Harry has to manually close his mouth before he responds, shifting in his seat. “You look gorgeous.” He smiles. He lets his eyes rake over her for longer than would be appropriate, but she doesn’t mind. Truthfully, Lauren had bought the suit with him in mind even against her better judgment. She was a bit nervous when she had tried it on because it wasn’t a suit that would hide some of her insecurities. She never liked the way her thighs would jiggle and her behind would shake as she moved, but she knew she didn’t have to worry about those things while around Harry. He always made her feel good about herself and slowly but surely she’d come to agree with him. It was a cruel thing to do to herself, and Harry, but she was enjoying his reaction.

 “Thanks, we match.” She giggles, gesturing to his yellow trunks. He smiles a dimpled smile at her, standing up from the bed and towering over her.

 “I don’t look half as good as you do though.” He compliments her again, unsure if he’s capable of keeping his eyes off of her. 

She’s thankful for the melanin in her skin that hides her blush as she eyes her reflection in the wall mirror. Harry stands behind her, taking in their appearance. He liked that they were matching, however cheesy it was. He pulls his phone from his pocket and opens the camera, grabbing Lauren’s hip to pull her closer. The first few were regular vacation pics. It was when Harry bent down to place his lips to her cheek, that things took a different turn. Lauren was caught off guard, the smile on her face becoming genuine and one of her hands holds his cheek while the other is placed over his at her hip. Harry snaps a few shots, letting his touch linger before pulling away. They review the pictures together and once Lauren has decided on a favorite, Harry sets it as his lock screen. Her smile was wide, her eyes shut as he kissed her cheek. She was a perfect ray of sunshine and now he could be reminded of it every day. 

“Oh, I forgot my sunnies.” She frowns as she digs through her bag again. 

“Got them right here, love. Left them on the dresser.” He sits in the lounger next to her and pulls his own sunglasses over his eyes.

 “You’re an angel.” She thanks him, putting on the frames and chasing the glare of the sun away. She’d made them Piña Coladas and they sipped idly to beat the heat.

 The warmth was welcomed though, Lauren practically lived outside during the nicer months back home. It was nice to feel a warmth only the sun could provide. They laid in silence for the most part, Lauren’s mind adrift and Harry’s as well. She thought about the girls back home and how they were doing, and Harry mostly thought about her. He thought about ways to finally tell her, he thought about what the consequences of those actions may be. He thought about ways to make it so obvious that she couldn’t deny it any longer. Mostly he thought about a scenario in which she loved him back. That one was always the easiest to fall into and hurt way less so he stayed there. In this scenario, she couldn’t rip his heart out with rejection. In this one, she was there at home waiting for him, he was picking her up from work, they shared meals, they slept in the same bed every night. Even though they were sitting a few feet apart, he felt as if she was miles away from him. It was always like this and he wished that things were different. He wished for a life where she would let herself be, where she would let herself be happy. He knew more than anyone just how deserving she was of it, and he wished that she’d let him be that for her. 

“Come swim with me.” He beckons when his thoughts become too much. He tries not to focus too much on the way her skin glows under the sun, her complexion radiant as if she were its favorite.

 She groans as she sits up, and Harry extends his hand to her pulling her from her chair. He doesn’t let her hand go as they move towards the pool step, and Lauren uses him for stability as she tests the water with her foot. It takes her a minute before she adjusts to the water, and Harry follows behind happily once she’s in. He sings along to the music playing from the speaker as Lauren floats around on her back. She wishes there was a float or something so she could still catch some rays, and makes a mental note to stop by a shop tomorrow. The sound of seagulls and Harry’s voice relaxes her to a place where she feels likes she’s floating in a perfect nirvana. The atmosphere he’d created for them just what she desperately needed but would never ask for aloud. Harry swims closer to her when he becomes bored, calling her name softly to not startle her. She hums in response, blinking her eyes open behind her sunglasses, and sits up so she can tread water. 

“What do you think about going out tonight? I’ve got some friends here and they wanna meet up for some drinks.” He pulls her closer to him by her wrist, dragging her to the shallow end and into his arms. She holds onto his forearms as she contemplates his question, mostly thinking of what she brought to wear.

 She nods, “Would love to.” He smiles down at her and places a small kiss on her forehead. 

“Then tomorrow we can head to the beach - the best cure for a hangover.” He smiles softly and she rolls her eyes.

 “Plan on getting me drunk, Styles?” She splashes some water up at him and he chuckles, pulling her closer to his chest to stop her assault. 

“Just a little bit.” 

***

For the first time in forever, Lauren is grateful that she over packed. She had thrown more than a couple of evening outfits into her suitcase just in case they went out to dinner or frequented a bar for the week. She ditched all the blouses and things alike at home and opted to bring more revealing outfits because of the weather. The skirt she picks out is a pretty shade of blue and spandex material with a matching cropped top. She was also grateful she brought her comfy white shoes with the thick heel and open toe. They were her favorite shoes to go out in and were easy to dress up. They made her short legs look longer, and she always felt her best when she put them on. After doing her makeup she dresses, the slit up the side of her skirt adds the perfect amount of sex appeal and she feels she has never looked better. 

She walks into the kitchen to find Harry sitting at the island. He looks away from his phone when he hears the sound of her heels clicking against the hardwood, and he swallows harshly when she comes into view. He himself was wearing cream slacks with a t-shirt tucked into them. His hair was pushed away from his face the way Lauren adored, he always looked much younger when he did that. He lets his eyes rake over her as she stands beside him now and her eyes watch him in bemusement. 

“Y’look gorgeous.” He sighs, licking over his bottom lip when his eyes meet hers again and she smiles gently at him, giving him a spin as always. She mutters her appreciation and Harry pulls her closer to him, holding her at arm’s length to truly admire her. Innocent giggles fall from her full lips as he repeatedly tells her just how good she looks. He couldn’t help but notice how the material hugged every curve she had, the slit on the side showcasing her thick thighs that had Harry near drooling. Her ass is damn near perfect and her heels do wonders for her legs, and Harry knows that this might be one of the longest nights of his life.  Lauren falls to his chest, hiding her face in his shirt, and he places a gentle kiss on the top of her head. 

“Car will be here in just a minute, lovie.” 

The bar was more of a club and when the Uber drops the pair off, Harry grabs a hold of Lauren’s hand, bypassing the line towards the bouncer. Lauren wasn’t sure what his plan was but is pleasantly surprised when the bouncer gives Harry a nod and moves to let them through. Lauren can’t help but move along to the music as Harry leads the way through a crowd of people. The scene brings her back to her college days when fun was expected on every weekend and most weekdays. She admittedly missed going out and dancing, and was grateful that Harry brought her here.

 They make their way to a booth where two other men are sitting, and they jump up as soon as they catch sight of Harry. They’re all jeers and hellos as they embrace and Lauren hangs back for a moment. Harry turns quickly, tugging her closer to his side as he introduces her. Harry had known these guys from college and would visit California often to see them. They were just as attractive as Lauren was expecting, all of Harry’s friends were. Micah was tall, a fade cut, and wearing a suit that seemed very expensive. His smile was warm and inviting, he seemed clean and sharp around the edges. His skin was deep and rich, he was fine. Seth was more on the leaner side, towering over both Harry and Micah. His blonde hair was curly and long, stopping at his shoulders. He too had a perfect smile and a deep charming voice that had nearly knocked Lauren off her feet when he greeted her. She thought quickly that these men would be fun to flirt with, but the idea was gone as soon as it came when she noticed the wedding bands on each of their fingers. 

 They sit at the booth for a while and conversation is easy as Harry gushes about Lauren and all that she was doing. Harry stands to order another drink for each of them once their’s expires, leaving with a kiss on her temple and a promise to only be gone for a minute. The two men share a knowing smirk behind their glasses unbeknownst to Lauren.

 “He never shuts up about you, hasn’t in years.” Seth smiles politely and Lauren grins bashfully.

 “He gets a little excited sometimes, yes.” She shifts in her seat, itching to get on the dancefloor. 

The men chuckle and Micah swishes the content of his glass around. It was very clear to them that Harry still hadn’t made any advances and it was also obvious that Lauren felt the same way that he did. Harry returns just as Lauren is finishing up telling the guys about her life growing up in Georgia. He slides in with a grin, placing his arm around Lauren’s shoulders and pulling her close to his side.

 “Hope these two haven’t bored you half to death, love.” He pushes her drink towards her and she swats at him.

 “Better company than you, I think.” She smirks, pulling her drink to her lips. Harry clutches at his chest in fake hurt and his friends laugh.

 “She’s just as brilliant as we expected. Feel like we’re in the company of royalty with the way you go on about her.” Micah and Seth are all grins as Harry tries to fight the blush from creeping up his neck. Of course, his mates knew just how bad he had it for her and he should’ve known that they wouldn’t let this be easy.

 “What can I say?” He exasperates, “She’s just that perfect.” His hand finds Lauren’s thigh as he chuckles beside himself and she leans into him with a soft smile. 

They go on like that for a while and their glasses remain full. Lauren can feel the effects of the alcohol she’s consumed and she listens in quietly as the men talk business. She was beginning to grow impatient with every song that passed, wanting to release her new energy on the dance floor. Her hand finds Harry’s at her thigh and she places it over his. He gives her a gentle squeeze and she hums, toying with his fingers. She fiddles with his rings for a while, and Harry looks down at her when the conversation slows.

 “Y’alright, love?” He hums into her ear and she nods, glassy eyes looking up to find his. 

“Wanna dance.” She harrumphs, taking a slow sip of her drink. Harry lets a small laugh fall from his lips, nudging her head with his nose.

 “In a minute, yeah? Need to be nice and drunk for tha’.” She giggles drunkenly at that, and he squeezes her thigh again. “I’ll order some shots for us.” Harry announces to the table, “ This one wants to dance.” Lauren lets her head roll back onto her shoulders as she laughs. She downs the contents of her glass and dances in her seat when he returns. Harry does the shots fast, making a face when he finishes and Lauren giggles some more as Micah and Seth begin their banter. 

Soon enough, Harry’s vision is cloudy and he feels the warmness in his chest engulfing him and he bids his friends good night when they decline the offer to join them. He’s pulling Lauren to the dance floor when he hears a song he particularly likes and she follows behind with a giggle, shaking her hips as she holds tightly onto his hand. They form a sort of circle as they move to the beat, the alcohol making their moves slightly untimely. Lauren finds herself gravitating towards Harry, and his hands reach for her hips to pull her towards his chest. She closes her eyes as she moves to the music, her head tipped back as she holds on to his shoulder. One of his legs is brought between her two as she rocks her hips, his breathing is heavy as he watches her. Their chests are pushed together as she sings along to the lyrics, allowing herself to let loose for a moment. He rocks his body into hers, matching her slow movements. Her hand finds the side of his neck after a few songs, tugging him closer to be heard over the loud music. 

“I’m gonna go get another drink!” She shouts. Her inebriated mind allows her to let her lips linger for a moment and she doesn’t move away when he pulls back to look at her.

 “I’ll get it, ‘ve got a tab open!” He leaves a lingering kiss behind her ear before they part and she’s left to dance by herself. Lauren didn’t mind dancing alone and lifts an arm over her head as her feet carry her side to side. 

 When warm hands hold her hips again, she doesn’t think twice as she dances. She falls back against his chest, moving her hips against him. They rock from side to side for a while, until he’s gripping at her thighs and whispering into her ear.

 “Let’s go take this elsewhere.” He groans and Lauren jumps away from the unsuspecting partner. 

The man is, in fact, not Harry, rather Harry is moving his way through the crowd towards the pair. He watches the interaction as he comes closer, nudging strangers slightly. The guy is whispering into her ear and Lauren is shaking her head profusely denying his advances. The look on the man’s face is one of frustration as he throws his arms around to argue his case. Lauren takes a step back and gestures to Harry when he’s in her view.

 “Think I’ll take it from here!” He shouts, nodding in the direction of where the man should go and Lauren takes her drink gratefully. The man scoffs, muttering to himself as he leaves. Harry pulls Lauren back against his chest, bending down to speak into her ear. 

“Should’ve known better than t’leave you by yourself! M’sorry, love.” She hums at the sound of his voice, a shiver raking down her spine. 

Harry doesn’t like the feeling of jealousy that resides in his chest. Doesn’t like the idea that another had their hands on her, and he knows that it’s irrational to think this way, but he can’t seem to help it. He grips her hips tighter in his hands as she dances against him after telling him to forget about it. But he can’t seem to forget it, his empty hand runs along her side as he brings his face to the side of her neck. She extends her neck and he breathes her in, his nose dragging along the sticky skin. Her hand tangled in his hair and she slows her movements, dipping their bodies slowly as she continues to move her hips.

 “You’re so gorgeous.” He groans into her ear, drunkenly kissing at the skin on her neck. She breathes in sharply, her eyes fluttering closed as he squeezes at her thigh. 

She rolls her head to the side in search of his eyes, and he leans his forehead against hers. His drunken eyes are hooded and he can’t seem to look away from her parted mouth. She brings her drink up to her mouth as they continue to move, sipping the rest of it through the straw. Her inhibitions were low enough to let whatever should happen, happen and she couldn’t say that she would mind if they had. He turns her around in his arms and brings his leg back between hers. He drops his face near hers, his breath fanning over her lips. She bites her bottom lip and places her forehead on his as she whines to the music. His lips find her ear again and they brush over her skin when his head sways slightly. He pulls her closer to him by the small of her back, and he can just barely feel the heat of her center against his thigh. 

Lauren’s mind is borderline incoherent from the alcohol and the way Harry was lighting a fire within her. Sure she had danced with many guys in her past, but this was intimate. The way he was grasping at her fleshy hips, beckoning her impossibly closer, this felt personal. He just couldn’t seem to get enough of her and didn’t know how much longer he’d have her this close. His fuzzy mind was telling him to go for it, and the option didn’t look that bad at the moment.

 “So fuckin’ pretty.” He says into her ear, and Lauren bites back a whimper. She’s gripping at his shirt desperately and he brings his face back to hers, nudging her nose with his own. She lifts her chin slightly, begging him to go on and his eyes watch her. Hooded eyes, parted lips, she was totally blissed out and he’d be damned if he missed his moment. 

He takes it. Slowly at first, lips grazing over hers hesitantly. She sighs into his mouth when his lips fully encase hers, soft and supple. They pull apart slowly after the first peck, eyes peering at each other partly in disbelief. Their attention is elsewhere than the club they were standing in, moving too slow for the pace of the music. His hand holds the side of her face as she leans up to look at him. Harry chases her lips again, closing over her bottom lip and tugging. Her fingers entangle in his hair to hold him to her and she presses her chest to his. Their kisses remain slow like their thoughts, pulling at the other’s flesh as eyes pry open slightly. Lauren takes the initiative and tugs at his hair gently, sliding her tongue into his mouth when he gasps. He groans into her mouth, his body alight with a fire he could feel burning through his being. She caresses her tongue over his languidly, pulling kiss after kiss from him. Harry pulls away and captures her bottom lip, kissing at it. 

“Let’s go home.” He breathes into her ear and she nods, slipping her hand through his. 

The Uber ride is all stolen glances and soft touches, an unspoken thing lingering in the air around them. As soon as they’re through the door Harry is kissing down her neck from behind. Lauren hums, falling into his chest as her hand still holds onto his.

 “Let’s get ready for bed, yeah?” He mutters against her skin before releasing her and heading down the hall. 

Lauren stands in her spot, astonished at his behavior but follows him anyway. He turns into his room without a word and she goes to her own, collapsing onto the bed. Her mind runs in circles when she closes her eyes, and she can’t bring herself to change her clothes. The heels alone needed to be unbuckled and she didn’t think she had the dexterity for that. Harry comes in after a few moments and chuckles at the sight of her.

 “Supposed to be getting ready for bed, love.” He teases, sitting on the floor and grabbing her ankle. She sits up to watch him, leaning on her elbows as he places the heel of her shoe on his shoulder. He kisses at her soft skin on her ankle as his fingers undo the belt, massaging at the sore skin when the shoe is placed on the ground. Lauren groans audibly at the feeling, letting her head hang back as he continues. When the other shoe is pulled off he places her pajamas on the bathroom counter. Lauren takes her time changing and washing her makeup off, mentally preparing herself for what might happen. She giggles to herself at the thought that this was actually happening. She wasn’t sure if it was a good idea or not, but her mind had already convinced her that this was what she wanted. She doesn’t focus on the complications of what they’d started, her mind swims with unreasonable thoughts and she can’t seem to identify all the flashing warnings that she’d worked so hard on maintaining. Her rule was to never mix business with pleasure, and if she was being honest, the business aspect of their relationship had dwindled away so long ago. Now Harry was her favorite friend, her favorite soul, and she should take advantage of the opportunity. 

When she comes out of the bathroom, Harry is sat on the end of the bed, fiddling with his rings. He looks up at the sound of the door opening and stands, making his way towards her. He grabs her hand when he’s close enough, and pulls her to him, spinning her so her back is to his chest. A loud giggle falls from her lips as he sways them side to side, planting small kisses to her cheeks.

 “Ready for bed, love?” He hums, raking his fingers up her side. Her satin tank lifts slightly as he goes on and a shiver rolls through her, all she can manage is a nod. She puts her hair into her bonnet before climbing into bed, and his hands are on her again like they never left. Harry’s mind warns him to stop but he can’t seem to and he’s rolling over her and burying his head into her neck. She whimpers as he sucks on the skin, not enough to leave a mark but she’s gripping his hair nonetheless.

 “Completely adore you, bug.” He murmurs against her jaw, pressing soft kisses to her skin. A small whimper leaves her lips and her eyes are hooded. She pulls him closer so their chests are touching, and turns her head to find his eyes. He nudges her nose with his, smiling slightly as she croons. When their lips meet he’s humming contentedly into her mouth. Hands grab at her hips, squeezing in anticipation, and her jaw unhinges enough for him to slide his tongue inside. Lauren rolls them over then, straddling one of his thighs as he lays against the pillows. Their kiss is patient as she hovers over him, her forearms resting beside his head and fingers tangle into his hair. A cheeky hand finds its way to her behind, groping a handful and pulling her up against his thigh. Their lips part when she gasps, her head hanging backward on her neck. Harry smiles to himself at the perfect vision before him, humming when his lips kiss right underneath her chin. She looks down at him through glossy eyes, pressing her hands to his bare chest as she moves over his thigh. He sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth and places his hands around her wrists as she works herself against him.

 “Such a dream.” He says. His words string together slower than usual, and if she weren’t privy to his drunken dialect, she’d have missed it completely. She bends down to place her forehead to his, kissing at his nose softly and his eyes flutter closed.

 “So pretty.” She murmurs and moves to place her head into the crook of his neck, placing small pecks to the skin there. Lauren relaxes as his fingers trace patterns on her back and the world spins when she closes her eyes for too long. “M’so smashed.” She sighs, a giggle follows and Harry can’t help but laugh along with her. He rolls her off of him and leans on his side. His fingers graze at her cheek and she hums, nuzzling into his touch. 

“Kiss me.” She whispers, her eyes peering at him through her lashes. He doesn’t hesitate to move in, placing his lips over hers gently. He can feel her sigh against his mouth, chasing his lips when he moves away. He watches as her face contorts with frustration and he kisses her again, even softer this time. 

“Quite like kissing you.” His voice is below a whisper and she doesn’t think he meant to say it aloud. Her stomach swarms at his confession and she pulls her bottom lip into her mouth with her teeth to fight a smile.

 “Won’t last long.” She sighs, slotting her lips against his once more. He licks into her mouth, swirling his tongue over hers, and huffs into her. 

“What do you mean, pet?” His brows furrow and she’s chasing after him again, pressing a hand to his chest when he comes back to her. 

“Have to forget about it tomorrow.” She sighs against his mouth, jaw hanging slack when he grabs at her ass again. 

“And why’s that?” His teeth bite at her chin as he pulls her against him, eating up every whimper that falls from her sweet mouth. A particularly loud moan of his name has his eyes rolling back to his head, and his ego inflating. Praise from her was the only thing he ever cared about, it was all he ever thought about, and all his actions were done to please her. He loved her, way more than he thinks she loves him and he’s okay with that. He has no other option but to be. 

“Because we’re just friends.” She breathes behind a moan and Harry doesn’t believe her for a second.

 Friends don’t resist each other the way these two have been. There would be no reason to if they were truly just friends. She wouldn’t be melting into his touch, whimpering his name, tracing his tattoos when she thought he didn’t notice. He always noticed. He noticed the way she’d visibly relax when he hugged her, how her eyes averted his gaze when he complimented her. It was why he allowed her to steal his every breath, and consume his every thought. She was into him, and even though she fought it as hard as she could, she wasn’t fooling him. 

“Best friends.” He ruts his hips into her, watching her eyes roll to the back of her head, and he kisses her cheek gently. Her hazy mind pleads with her to stop things, put a pin in them before they can’t take them back. She was her own worst enemy, sacrificing her own happiness for the sake of stability. There was no reason valid enough for her to deny him, but there she was, pushing against his chest and tugging his heart out in the same motion. 

“We’re drunk.” She deadpans. Harry huffs, pulling her closer to him by her hip.

 “Have been for a while now, sweetheart.” His lips search for hers and she succumbs, slipping her fingers through his hair. 

She groans as his mouth works against hers. He tilts his head and she follows until he’s hovering over her. He liked to be in control, he didn’t like the bullshit that she was spewing at him, and this was certain to shut her up. Lauren had never been kissed like this in her life, and she can’t remember the last time she had spent this long just making out. In a way, she wishes she were sober, coherent enough to reminisce on this correctly in the future. She would be lucky if she could remember at all, and in some ways, she hopes she forgets. 

“Harry,” She whines when their lips part for a second and he licks at the corner of her mouth before pushing his tongue inside once more. His forearm finds the pillow on the other side of her head, and Lauren is wrapping her arms around his neck. 

“Keep whinin’ my name like tha’ and I’ll make sure you won’t be able to forget this.” He smirks against her mouth. She whimpers, nails scratching at his scalp. She’s pulling him closer to her, needing the weight of him to remind her of her reality. Though she wasn’t sold that it was a reality she would like to keep, she was certain that she would love him even more tomorrow. 

“Jus’ gonna kiss you to sleep I think.” He hums, slowing their pace down and remaining in control. 

This was the only time he was calling the shots when it came to Lauren, and he was gonna seize the moment in case it never came again. The alcohol in his veins makes his movements sloppy, leaving a trail of himself across her chin. She doesn’t mind, quite liked the desperateness of it all. He’s all teeth as he pulls at her bottom lip, releasing it to watch as it snaps back into place. He admires the way her drooping eyes watch him and he’s sure to put on a show for her. They’re quickly learning what the other liked and Harry silently prays he doesn’t remember this because he's sure the flashbacks would haunt him. He kisses her again, pulling away quickly to watch how her chin chases after him. Her lips are parted as he toys with her, nibbling and suckling as he pleases. Her breathing is slow as their lips move together, relaxation engulfing her. Small whimpers and moans fall from their lips as he continues, wandering hands familiarize themselves. When their kisses begin to slow he rolls them over so her head is tucked into his neck. All she can manage is a quiet hum and he shushes her, fingers tracing over her back. 

***

Harry wakes before her, the sun streaming through the patio doors, bringing him to consciousness. Memories from the previous night flood his mind and he’s pulling Lauren closer to him. He remembers her hesitation, the way she had told him to forget the whole thing. He brings his arm up over his eyes, a headache pounding at his temples, and the mess he had created for himself wasn’t helping by any means. He breathes in her scent as she sleeps, dreading the moment her eyes open and the same realization floods her memory. Harry can’t decide what he would even say to her. Should he confess or act like he didn’t remember as she’d wanted? He wanted to bring it up to figure out why she had pushed him away the way she had. It hadn’t then, but it hurt to think about now. Rejection wasn’t something he experienced often, but it was still his biggest insecurity when it came to her. It was the reason why he had kept his feelings at bay for so long, and now he had gone and ruined everything they’d built. But it wasn’t as if she had rejected him because she hadn’t felt the same, she seemed pretty into it last night. But things always change when inhibitions are back in place, and the sun shines through the light of day. He decides that should she remember he’d tell her and if she doesn’t he’d redo it sober another time. Either way, if she doesn’t bring it up, neither will he. 

The task is easier said than done, he’s nervous all through breakfast and as they pack for the beach he can’t help but stare at her. There was no possible way that she didn’t remember and if she had chosen to put their actions in the past, she was doing too good of a job. Lauren almost wishes she had forgotten, but Harry seemed to be playing it cool so she would too. She figured things would be easier this way, no one would get hurt and their relationship wouldn’t change. Except it had, and Harry was hurting far more than he would care to admit. She continues to pack their cooler and ignore his watchful gaze. It was hard enough to try to misplace the memory of his hands gripping her thighs, or the way he’d said her name. She tried not to dwell on the way her body fit so perfectly against his like they were made for each other. Or the way he kissed her like his life depended on it. But she wasn’t going to speak about it unless he had, just like she asked of him. Now that she thought about it, it was a stupid thing to ask of him, but she knew it would be for the best. 

“Can you grab the sandwiches out the fridge, bub?” She asks, pulling her focus away from her thoughts. Harry turns towards the fridge without a word, tossing the sandwiches onto the counter before walking down the hall. 

She pushes the air out of her lungs and stops her actions once she hears his door slam shut. He remembered, and he was pissed.  He sighs to himself as he changes into his swim trunks. He thought the whole thing was just stupid and childish. He knows that she knows, and the way she could remain so nonchalant about it was bothering him. Was that all he meant to her, was he that easy discardable, had he misread their entire relationship? He knew he had fallen for her and he liked to think that she had too, but had she no feelings for him at all? Maybe she had meant what she said. That they were “just friends”. His stomach is uneasy and he doesn’t think that he can bring himself to face her. He needed a minute to calm the tempest in his mind, but he knew that wouldn’t happen with her in the room right across the hall. 

“Are you upset with me?” Lauren asks after they’ve been sitting on the beach for close to two hours and the conversation is nonexistent. 

They had barely spoken when he emerged from his room, only offering one-word answers to her feeble attempts at conversation. Their walk down to the shore was silent as he carried their bags and she pulled the cooler. She tried to not draw attention to it, to move on in the way that she knew that they should, but he was making it difficult.

 “At you? No. At myself? Yes.” He says. Sunglasses cover his eyes and he doesn’t so much as glance at her. She huffs as she grows agitated with him, flipping onto her stomach to look at him better. 

“We can eat lunch and talk if you’d like?” She offers. It seems that the only way out of this was through it and since Harry wouldn’t let her forget, she’d have to suck it up and have the conversation. 

“You told me to forget about it, so that’s what I’m fucking doing.” He doesn’t mean for the words to sound as harsh as they had, and he regrets them as soon as they leave his mouth. It was probably best to talk about what had happened, but she had let him sit for too long, and his thoughts had gone from upset to angry. He doesn’t apologize and fights the urge to look at her when he sees her moving from the corner of his eye. 

“Well, you’re doing a terrible job.” She bites as she sits up on the blanket. He looks at her then, a scowl etching its way onto his lips, and his temper rising. 

 “I’m so sorry I won’t discuss my feelings for you on some crowded public beach, Lauren.” His smile is mean, and she has never hated the way her name sounds coming from his mouth more. He seldomly called her by her name, always opting to use pet names or nicknames instead. She can’t seem to focus on anything else but the way he had said it. He had said it with such distaste, and the stupid smirk on his lips makes her blood boil. 

“So I’m ‘Lauren’ now?” Her voice is just barely audible and even though he can physically feel his heart ripping in half, and can’t seem to stop. He keeps his eyes towards the sky, knowing that if he does look at her, he’ll be putty in her hands. That was exactly what he was trying to put an end to. The way she so effortlessly had played with his feelings, toyed with his heart, and threw it to the side when she didn’t want to play anymore. She had hurt him worse than any woman ever had, and he wanted her to feel miserable along with him. 

“That’s how friends call each other, right? By their names?” He swallows roughly, closing his eyes as his skin heats under the sun. He can’t see her, but she’s shoving her things into her bag, making way for a quick exit. And before he even realizes it, she’s leaving him there and walking back to the house without another word.

 Lauren could count the number of times he had been upset with her on her hands and never had he gone so far as to be purposefully mean. She didn’t know how to deal with him when he was like this, and she was upset that it had even gotten to this point. In her eyes, Harry had no reason to be upset with her, not to the point where he was being mean, anyway. Sure she can admit that asking him to put what they had done behind them was a stupid, drunken mistake. In an effort to protect her own heart she had damaged his and she felt awful. But that was no excuse for Harry’s childish behavior. 

As she treks up the sandy walkway to their home his words bounce against the forefront of her mind. Behind his snarky smile, he had admitted that he did have some sort of feelings for her and she could pretend no longer that she had no clue what they were. She had spent so long convincing herself that she couldn’t be with him and had missed the signs that he was falling for her. All the walls she had set up to protect herself he’d effortlessly pummelled through, and had never given her reason to believe that she couldn’t trust him with her heart. She had been so blind to the way he had changed around her. The way it was so effortless to be with him, and the way that neither of them had any other love interest over the past two years. Lauren had always contributed that to their busy work lives, but it was time for her to be honest. The only other person she ever made time for was Harry and vice versa. The only person she ever dared to consider beyond herself was him. He was the first person she shared any exciting news with and the last person she talked to before she went to sleep at night. And as much as she would like to believe that she had kept it platonic, her actions showed a completely different Lauren. She was having her cake and eating it too, without the consideration of Harry’s feelings. 

She sheds her things by the front door before retiring to her room for a bath. As she strips down she tries to rid her mind of all the times she should’ve made her intentions clear. But at the same time, her intentions were a reflection of what she really wanted from their relationship. She could admit to herself that she was in love with him, but when it came down to owning up to it, she was as lost as a teenager doing this for the first time. And in a way, it was her first time. She had never felt anything as intensely as she did when she was with Harry. She’d never suppressed her feelings this way. She was used to getting what she wanted and not caring about the consequences, but this consequence she felt everywhere. 

Tears sting at her eyes as she soaks in the bubbles. Here she was sitting in a damn Airbnb on a trip that was perfectly planned and tailored to her liking, and she didn’t even have to ask for it. Harry had shown her time and time again just how much he cared about her and she told him to forget her in a moment that should’ve brought them together. It was selfish the game she was playing. Everything was on her terms. And even though she hadn’t meant for things to turn out this way, she supposes this is the way they’d been heading for a long time.  They were both stupid. Stupid in a way that they’d tiptoe around their feelings for each other, taking whatever the other would offer and writing it off as a friendship. 

The water isn’t warm enough to melt away the sinking feeling in her stomach. She knows she’s fucked up bad this time and doesn’t know how she could fix it. She could blame her drunken actions, but that wouldn’t dismiss the way they’d handled each other today. And of course, she knew that she’d bring it up somehow today, she was figuring a way to slip it into their non-existent conversation. She’d never be able to simply forget it and she knew that. She knew that when she’d woken up and his arms weren’t around her and she could still feel the indent of his fingers against her skin. God did she love the way he touched her. She loved how quickly he’d got her to fall deeper into his embrace, succumbing to his hands and turning her brain to mush. She supposes she liked that the most. The way she felt as if all the planets had aligned perfectly when his hands were on her body. Or the fact that said fingers had touched her everywhere except where she had needed him most. She was no stranger to his teasing, was privy to the mischievous glint in his eye when he had something up his sleeve. And she should’ve known better than to think that it wouldn’t follow him into the bedroom. Lauren is almost agitated with herself for not exploring that side of him a little more.

Not to overlook the way he had known exactly what to say, exactly where to touch to have her rendered breathless. Putty in his hands ready to accept the outcome of her fate. She had taken advantage of that when the time was so fleeting. Though she knew their situation was less about fault and more about their lack of communication, it was hard to not feel some sort of guilt. She was upset because she had unintentionally made Harry upset, and she often took pride in the way she knew how to please him. She was always the one to make sure he was having just as good of a time as she was, especially when she drags him along to do something she particularly likes. She knows just how fidgety he can be, and the seemingly mundane tasks that brought her joy would offer Harry anything but. But he always stuck them out, reassuring her that any time spent with her was time well spent. She likes to think that they do that for each other, checking on the other when brought outside of their comfort zone. There was something simple about their relationship. Something that had just come so easy. Lauren supposes that is what had made it so difficult to grasp what it was. 

She can remember the fear that she had felt when her gaze had lingered on his naked chest for a second too long and she felt the butterflies erupt in her belly. At that point Harry had become like family, the initial shock of attraction had dwindled long before. She had figured that it was just lust anyhow and would subside the way those first feelings had. Except these feelings were nothing like the kind when you run into a cute guy at the grocery store. The way she had looked at him now had stemmed from her learning who Harry truly was. And once she had learned to love him because of all the attributes that made him who he is it was game over. She loved the way he rubbed at his nose when he was trying to make his words sound perfect. She liked the way he could be so calculated but so lax at the same time. She adored the way he thought of her opinion and considered her at times she’d liked to believe she would consider him as well. They had gotten along so well and she didn’t want to worry her mind with attachments and emotions. However, in that time she’d spent convincing herself that she couldn’t, she certainly had.  

In some ways, she likes to blame Harry for the way she had dismissed his advances. It wasn’t as if the writing on the wall was so plain, after all. She supposes that if he hadn’t been so damn charming to anyone that had the pleasure of being in his presence for more than fifteen minutes, she’d be able to think more clearly. On one hand sure, the man who plans a detailed vacation has it bad for you. But on the other, that same man could light up the world and empty their pockets with so much as a smile. He was kind and thoughtful, and just good. Too good. The kind of good that makes you believe that your feelings that would undoubtedly bloom have sourced from delusion. And the months that Lauren had spent arguing with herself that he would do these things for anyone who so much as asked were exhausting. In that exhaustion, she had failed to make the rather impressive connection that she hadn’t asked. Harry had considered her and did for her simply because he wanted to. But when your pessimistic mind is so bent on making you believe one thing, the latter is easy to miss. 

She doesn’t move from her spot in the alcove when she hears the front door open then close. The sound of the plastic wheels of their cooler rolling against the hardwood floors isn’t enough to turn her head, but it’s enough for her focus to be lost from her novel. She stares at the pages, the black ink swirling and becoming one haunting picture, wishing she could make herself small. He hasn’t noticed her presence yet and she can’t gauge his mood when his back is turned to her. Still shirtless, she notices the way his muscles move beneath his skin as he puts their uneaten food into the fridge. The extra sighs and huffs of frustration aren’t lost on her either, and for a second she fights herself from getting up and lending a hand. She remains stationary, though, her fingers flicking the dog-eared page. She’d read the novel more times than she could count, the one she holds now is her second copy. It’s the one Harry had surprised her with one Valentine’s Day after her’s had all but disintegrated from the seams. He claimed the holiday was a minor convenience of presenting it to her, but Lauren let the romance of it all cloud her mind in a Harry-filled fog. She took better care of this copy, always kissing her teeth when her old habits of folding the pages would surface. The note he had left in the cover, however, had melted her down to the bone and she swore she’d make this copy last forever. 

For the sweetest girl with the heaviest touch, be gentle. H. 

Admittedly for Harry, the few words he had scribbled into the paperback had far more meaning than what she’d figured. She’d touched his heart and transitioned his life. Her influence was just that. Heavy. Almost so heavy that at times he found himself wondering if he was wasting his “good years” pining after a girl who had no interest. He was savvy that way, leaving hints and tips that his heart burned for her, and almost every time feeling sour when things hadn’t changed. He wanted her to be more gentle with him. He at the time was still new to the way he felt about her, constantly thinking of ways to make it obvious. But obvious for Harry wasn’t obvious for anyone else. At least not to a girl who had convinced herself otherwise. He wasn’t so used to the uneasy feeling that swarmed his stomach when she went out on a date. Wasn’t accustomed to the way his heart would race when her fingers would dance along his shoulders. And he certainly wasn’t privy to the way he seemed to have lost all logical thinking when it came to her. Truth be told he’d give an arm and a leg just to see her smile but now that he could recognize how he felt towards her, that had gone beyond sensibility. He needed her to be gentle with him, to not shatter his heart because he knew he’d never recover. 

Lauren is pulled out of her reverie, fingers still stroking the pages of her book as she reminisces. Her teeth bite at her lip as she waits for him to notice her presence. She was dying to say something, anything, but that couldn’t be done if he wasn’t willing to speak to her. At the same time, she’d be fine with saying nothing at all. She thinks to herself that she should’ve known better. Five days with just the two of them under the same roof should’ve had her running in the opposite direction. She should’ve expected lowered inhibitions and drunken words said without thought. But instead, she’d continued to live in the fantasy world that she’d created for herself. The one where she does as she pleases and expects Harry to move with her. 

She holds her breath when he puts the last of their food away and closes the fridge door. She buries back into her novel, the words not making it past her eyes but she pretends nonetheless. She only looks up when she hears him gasp. He stands behind the island, palms pressed to the cold surface and a look of shock etched into his expression at the realization of her presence. She offers a shy smile that doesn’t quite meet her eyes and tries to decipher if he’s still upset with her. He seems calmer if his face is any indicator, and his sunglasses are now pushed atop his head. Under any other circumstance, she’d take a moment to ogle his chest and the way his biceps flex as he pushes himself away from the counter. However she still takes a quick peek, her teeth still gnawing her bottom lip raw. 

When she finally brings her gaze to meet his own she feels her nerves beckoning her to retreat to her room. Everything in her begs her to run away and forget the argument that they’d had. She hated confrontation, would rather forget it and move on than work through it. For most of her life that is exactly what she had done. Nothing was worth exerting that kind of energy into and more times than not, she wasn’t up for it. She liked to lay low, and would rather be someone’s peace than their problem. 

She feels frozen in place as they gaze at each other. Suddenly the room feels much cooler than it had before and she’s unsure if she’s ready to face the can of worms that they’d opened. She wanted to tell him that she was wrong, that she was sorry, but she’d be fine if he’d decided to move on. But that wasn’t the kind of person Harry was. He was the stick to it and fight through it kind of person. He didn’t like mulling over things for a long while and would rather tackle the things that bothered him head-on. There wasn’t a chance that he’d decided to not bring it up and Lauren was bracing for the impact. 

“Didn’t know you were there.” He mumbles, crossing his arms over his chest as he leans his lower back against the edge of the countertop. She nods stupidly, eyes shifting down to her book in her lap. Uncertainty swims through her like a sailboat caught in a storm, and she’s not ready for the waves to crash over her just yet. She’s sifting through the thoughts in her mind, trying to quickly form sentences that would convey her regretfulness. At the same time, her brain is muddled with thoughts and memories of everything that had led them to this moment. She can’t read him, his face is expressionless and his jaw is relaxed in the way that makes her palms sweat. Her throat is dry and she almost opens her mouth to speak before thinking better of it. The silence between them is deafening, she can feel his gaze from across the room as her fingers trace the title of her novel. 

She looks up when she hears him moving around the kitchen, and he’s moving towards her still without expression. A grimace finds her lip when he sits beside her and she’s drawing her knees to her chest to make room for him. Harry sits down beside her with a sigh, crossing his arms over his chest with his gaze out the back windows. He slides his body further into the cushions of the bench and another breath of air expels from his lips. Lauren eyes his profile suspiciously when he makes no efforts to speak, still silently gazing at the horizon of the ocean. It was nearing sunset and the sky had begun to paint itself a pretty shade of orange. Her favorite time of the day, where everything was touched by the sun, changing color to honor her beauty. In those minutes it was hard to think about anything besides the divinity of the sky. A moment of reflection, she’d like to call it. Sunsets always reminded her of just how big the world was but simultaneously she felt intense comfort. Everything just felt better. Everything was beautiful, everyone was kind, and nothing mattered. Something short of a small utopia.

 But the way she felt right now was anything but. She admired the way the sun cast a glow onto Harry’s tanned skin and deepened the color of his hair. If it were any other moment she’d crawl into his chest to watch the sky change with him. Now she sat facing him, the sun turning her eyes golden and warming her skin. She thinks about the time they went to watch Memorial Day fireworks. Sitting atop the largest hill Harry knew to exist in Georgia. They got there early because he knew how much Laren loved to watch the sunset, and how much he loved to watch her. She remembers how his eyes kept shifting between the sky and her profile, and the way she’d looked at him when he had that funny look on his face. He smiled at her, the kind where his lips only parted a tad, and pulled her closer as the air began to chill. Her gaze stayed on his as best she could, a silent indication that she wanted to know what was on his mind. He hums, tangling their fingers as his eyes gaze over her features. 

“Your eyes look like little pots of honey.” He smiled, tilting his head slightly. A smile pushes its way onto her lips as she turns away bashfully. He’s pulling her closer then, letting her hide her face into his shoulder. He can’t help but chuckle and place a gentle kiss to her hair. “So pretty.” He’d said. Lauren can’t forget the way he kept her hand in his the entire evening. She supposes she should’ve known then. 

His fingers wrapping around her ankles pulls her back to focus. He pulls her feet into his lap wordlessly and Lauren relaxes. Even in the silence, she feels more at ease than she had all day. The pads of his fingers rub at her skin seemingly unconsciously as he appears to be deep in thought. Her eyes are fixated on the bridge of his nose and the dip of his lip and for a moment, everything feels okay. 

“Suppose we should talk, yeah?” He murmurs, tearing his eyes away from the sky to let his cheek fall to his shoulder.  She nods, humming when he squeezes at the sole of her foot. He knows she’s a bit nervous, can tell by the way her fingers haven’t stopped circling over the cover of her novel. He fights the soft smile that threatens to overtake his features when he realizes which book it is. He can barely make out the shadow of his writing beneath the lifted cover. His hands on her skin ground him, and the changing sky makes it difficult to stay mad at her. He regrets the way he spoke to her, more sorry than he could express about being cross with her. He knows that he could’ve handled it better -- should’ve handled it better, and mostly he regrets letting her walk away. 

He opens his mouth to speak, but when his eyes meet hers it falls shut. He’s lost in the way her eyes glow in the sun, the warm brown shining, and for a moment he’s lost everything he was going to say. Once again his heart feels too big for his chest, his brain empties and everything seems insignificant. His body is enchanted by her, love overtakes him and he knows that he can’t let the opportunity pass him by. Before the silence lasts too long he’s running a hand up her leg and closing his eyes for a moment. “M’sorry about what I said earlier.” He starts, the low and steady bass of his voice cutting through the air. “I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that and I know I made you upset.” He’s fiddling with his rings when he finishes, unable to watch for her reaction. 

“Harry,” Lauren sighs, her chin dropping to her chest as she grapples with the words she needs to say. Harry’s lost in the way his name sounds like a song falling from her mouth, and he’s humming unknowingly. His eyes find her face again and he’s almost mad at her for being so damn pretty. 

“I’m sorry for telling you to forget about last night.” She breathes. Her palms sweat and her fingernails create half-moons on her skin. Her throat feels dry as she tries to maintain his gaze, willing herself to not be distracted by the soft features of his face and his apologetic expression. “It was a stupid thing to say, especially knowing it was the furthest thing from what I wanted to say.” She chuckles beside herself and Harry’s expression turns from sorry to perplexed. She’s twisting her ring around her finger with her thumb and the way her eyes stay fixed on his, he’s not sure if she realizes that she’s doing it. 

He lets a beat pass when he realizes that she’s finished, and suddenly he’s inclined to pry. “What did you want to say?” He asks unassumingly, relaxing his expression slightly. Lauren pushes out a sigh, looking towards the setting sun for an answer. The gentle graze of his fingers on her shins eases her discomfort. She doesn’t look at him when she speaks again, and he can’t help but notice the way her skin gleams under the touch of the sun. “Wanted to tell you,” She breathes in deep, sucking the air to her lungs and hopefully mustering up some courage as well. “--Wanted to tell you that I’m completely enamored by you. And that I’ve never felt more cared for in my entire life and that terrifies me.” Her eyes are back to his on her last word and he takes in the way they’re glossed over, glistening under the rays of the sun. 

For a second it feels as if he’s in a state of comatose. His chest is swelling and bursting and filling him with the warmth of a thousand fires that he thinks he might explode. The orange hue cast on her skin radiates around her and he swears she’s never been more beautiful. His smile threatens to split his face as he fully rests his cheek on his shoulder. He’s humming, pulling her legs closer into his lap and fighting the urge to wrap her up in his arms. Her words bounce around the forefront of his mind and he can’t focus on anything other than what she had said. 

“I’m scared too, but only of letting you get away.” He says gently. Her brown eyes watch him carefully as he brings his finger to flick underneath his nose, and he’s looking at her again with that same bout of sincerity he had on that Memorial Day. She’s silent, the steady drum of her heart reverberates behind her ears and she feels as if the moment would slip away in a second. “I’m sure that I love you more than I’ve loved anything or anyone. And I’m sure that I’ve never felt this way before, which scared me at first, but now my only fear is losing you.” He breathes.

 He’s unaware of the way her lip quivers slightly, and her hands ball into themselves. She feels as if her chest has been cracked wide open and every fear or worry that she’s ever had dissipates. Harry’s focus is on his hands, small remnants on a smile taint his lips. He loved her. Lauren almost wants to punch herself. What was all of this for? Why had she put up so many walls just to let him worm his way through? Why had it taken so long for her to realize that maybe, just maybe, he loved her too? She thinks she can blame it on her own insecurities, but even those Harry had made feel minuscule. She was worthy of love and worthy of happiness. That was all Harry had been trying to make her realize. She loved him. More than she knew what to do with but she was content that she got to try. 

Without a second thought, she’s removing her legs from his lap and standing to her feet. Harry looks at her with shining green eyes, irises bright from the light of the sun. She moves to straddle his lap and his hands find her uncovered thighs with ease, humming at the feeling of having her close again. The smile on his face is bright, crinkling the corners of his eyes and dimpling his cheeks in the way that Lauren loved. It was the face he made when he was so ridiculously happy and needed a release of emotion. She brings her hands to the side of his face, a grin splitting across her face. The sun was almost beyond the horizon now, an amber hue encompassing their small sliver of earth. The final rays of the day caress the skin of her back, warming her to her bones. “I love you.” She hums and Harry is lost in the glow of her eyes and the crinkle of her nose as she smiles. He lets his eyes flutter shut for a moment, relishing in the way he feels right then. When she’s nudging his nose with her own, he opens them again and hums at the feeling of her skin on his. 

“I love you.” He repeats, the skin of his lips brushing against hers and she sighs. He lets his hands trail up her sides and around her back slowly, up and down until they're under her t-shirt. He leans up to connect their lips softly, humming contentedly. He takes his time this time around, memorizing the way her lips slot over his and how her fingers squeeze behind his ears. He has nothing to prove now, no flashing club lights blurring his vision, no alcohol to numb his thoughts into oblivion. Everything was out in the open, into the universe, and blooming under the sunshine. 

As his lips close over her bottom one he’s smiling softly and dropping his forehead to hers. He kisses his way along her jaw, pressing others to the lifted apples of her cheeks. Soft words of adoration fall from his mouth as he continues, and her jaw falls to her chest when he gets to that spot behind her ear. She’s mewling into his touch, raking her fingers through the long strands of his hair. He hums at the small pleas that fall from her lips and places a gentle kiss at her temple.  “Not gonna run from this, this time?” It’s posed as a question but the look in his eye says otherwise, and he’s pulling his chin away when Lauren goes to slot their lips together. “Asked you a question, love.” The cool metal of his rings bites at the skin of her back and she feels her insides swarm with the change in the tone of his voice. She’s damn near whimpering as she moves into him again only to be met with his retraction. Her breathing is shaky as she strings her words together, maintaining his eye contact. “Not going anywhere.” She assures him, biting at his chin. Harry pulls her closer then, reconnecting their lips and biting at her top one. His hand moves from under her shirt to the side of her face, fingers squeezing behind her ear when he moans on his next breath. 

She adores the way he kisses her with such fervor. Even as she leans over his seated frame, he commands her to follow his lead with every part of his lips and turn of his head. She doesn’t mind letting him work into her mouth and moans when his tongue slides over hers and finds home. He pulls her closer into his lap, a low groan reverberating in his chest when she sits on the becomings of a hard-on. Lauren hums into his mouth once again as she rolls over him and grips his hair a bit tighter. Harry pulls her bottom lip into his mouth, biting on the flesh before pulling a kiss from her. His palm is splayed across her lower back as she grinds against him and he watches her face with parted lips when he pulls away from their kiss. When he’s met with her golden eyes he can’t help but let his jaw hang slack for a moment. He takes in the small pants of air falling from her kiss swollen lips, and he doesn’t let the warm flush of her cheeks slip his notice. He almost whimpers at the sight before him, entranced with the pure unadulterated version of it. He’s vaguely aware of her hands slipping down his shoulders to his chest, fingers creating crescent-like shapes in their wake. His focus is blinded by the way she kisses across his jaw, familiarizing herself with the skin right below his chin. She nips there for a moment, sucking a deep bruise on the stretched skin and his eyes are rolling back into his sockets. 

The selfish need to have her closer racks through him, and he reckons he’d never grow tired of having her this way. Both hands are back under her shirt, desperately tugging the fabric higher up her ribs. His eyes are a gentle plea of consent and she nods, raising her arms over her head silently. He kisses at her smooth brown skin, suckling next to a freckle he’d been eyeing all week. She can feel the short pants of his breath at her ribcage as the shirt is moved up towards her arms. His touch is light as he moves the shirt over her shoulders, green eyes boring into hers in an intense stare she can’t tear her eyes away from. Their eye contact is lost for a moment when the shirt is tugged over her head and Harry’s moaning against her skin before their eyes reconnect. She hadn’t felt it necessary to put on any kind of underwear after her bath. The task itself seemed mundane as she had dwelled on her once dreary thoughts. But now as the cool air hits her skin and her shirt is tossed to the floor, she’s sucking in a breath through her teeth and her nipples are pebbling. Harry doesn’t hesitate to envelope one of the buds between his lips, humming in satisfaction when her fingers tangle through his hair once more. She lets out a wanton moan as he flicks at her nipple with his tongue, rolling her hips against his in anticipation. 

“Fuck.” That is all he can manage to breathe out when his hips rut into her on the next forward roll of her hips, and his bottom lip rests on her skin. Lauren brings her hand to the side of his face, admiring the little furrow between his brows. “So fuckin’ pretty.” He whines and pulls her back to him by her neck. He pushes their lips together in a chaste kiss and pulls away to watch her chase him. Her brow furrows and he offers a soft smile, lips slotting against hers softly.

 “Want you so bad.” Her voice is just above a whisper but he catches it and the words turn his stomach in ways that he’d only dreamt about.  He rests his forehead at the base of her throat in an attempt to bring himself down to earth. This was something that had never left the confines of his conscious, something he reserved for his alone time. “I’m yours. Always have been, pet.” He says into her skin, placing a gentle kiss where she’s swallowing harshly. Fingers cart through his hair softly, and she places a small kiss on his head. He turns his head to the side to catch her gaze, brown eyes shining in the lasting embers of the sun. The drum of her heart pounds beneath his ear and his hands find her hips to pull her closer to him. He watches the way her eyes flutter shut when his erection slides against her soft center. The material of his swim trunks is thin enough for her to feel the slight curve of his member and she can’t help but want to feel him completely. She seldom thought about him this way, the thought of it always got her too worked up to continue. But when she had, she had imagined every detail.

“Need you.” She exasperates, her head falling forward on her neck. He captures her lips between his own then, tracing his tongue along the curve of her, and sighing. He can’t think of a time where she had ever been more vulnerable with him, and as much as he wants to satisfy her every need, he wonders how much she’s willing to share. He hums against her mouth when she tugs at the roots of his hair, a whimper falls from her mouth when he pulls away slightly. 

“Where do you need me, lovie?” His bitten lips brush against hers as he speaks, the low octave of his tone spurring her on. She turns her head, groaning against his cheek and he chuckles deeply. He moves his hand up her side, gliding over her rib cage and gently cupping the swell of her breast. Her breathing is shaky, mind muddled with nerves and desire. His fingers tweak at her nipple, pulling just enough to elicit a moan from her pouty mouth. “Harry-” She whines, her jaw hanging open as she tilts her head up towards the ceiling. “Need me to help you feel good, babe?” He hums and trails his nose against the length of her neck. She nods meekly, turning her head to capture his lips in a swift movement. Her hand finds the side of his neck when she feels him about to pull away, sucking his lip into her mouth before offering him her tongue. He grunts, kissing into her and letting her take control of his mouth for a moment.  She moves her mouth against his quickly, a feeble attempt to distract him and he’s groaning as he submits to her. His other hand moves around her back until he’s gripping her ass, sliding her back into his lap with a sigh.

 “Got to use your words, sunshine.” His grip is tight on her, stilling her movements and making her whimper desperately into his mouth. He was so hard, harder than he thinks he’s ever been in his life but he loves her this way. Needy, clinging to his shoulders and whining against his temple. “Make me feel good, H. Please.” She barely recognizes the sound of her own voice. He’s humming against her skin, tonguing his way along her throat. The hand that had played idly at her breast makes its slow descent down her stomach and in between their bodies. He plays coyly around the hem of her shorts, dipping his fingers in slightly to run across the smooth skin of her stomach. “Right in here?” He asks absentmindedly, watching her face as he pushes a single finger into the front of her shorts. They moan together, Harry in the realization that she wasn’t wearing any underwear at all. 

“Fuck, yes.” She whines as the tip of his middle fingers collects her wetness before running up to her clit. She exhales a shaking breath, her hips grinding down on his slow-moving digit. He’s moving so slowly in a way that makes her brain fuzzy, and her eyes dilate under the shifting sun. “Want me here or do you wanna go to bed?” He breathes, soaking his finger in her as he pushes into her. Her back arched into his chest, fingers scratching at his scalp and she’s unsure if she could breathe let alone tell him what she wants. He’s pulling his finger away slightly when she doesn’t answer, green eyes peering at her as her eyebrows furrow. 

“Here, love. Please, feels so good.” Her mouth hangs open as he’s pushing two fingers into her on his next go, groaning at the feeling of her squeezing him. His fingers reach places she could never reach on her own and she pants quick breaths as she rocks against his hand. His hand at her ass guides her with his rhythm, soft pleas fall from her lips when he curls his digits and scratches at the spongy spot within her. 

“Look so fuckin’ pretty riding my fingers like tha’.” He moans, voice gravely with his own arousal just from watching her. His words rang through her ears, spurring her hips to come down on his fingers with every thrust. He had managed to get her so close to the edge rather quickly, and the familiar tingles shot down her spine as she neared her finish. 

“So close, H.” She whines, dropping her forehead to focus on his eyes. What she sees instead has a deep guttural moan ripping through her chest and it takes everything in her not to screw her eyes shut. Harry had a hand down his swim trunks, squeezing and pumping at his length. When his eyes meet hers again, his mouth falls open in bliss his eyes a gentle plea for her to come for him. With his next thrust into her, he pushes his thumb against her clit, rubbing slow steady circles until she’s crying out his name in a way he decides that he loves. 

“Make a mess on my fingers, baby. Wanna feel you.” He groans before pulling her nipple between his teeth and his fingers reach for that spot that he knows will bring her over the edge. Her hands claw at his shoulders as he sucks a deep bruise into the underside of her boob. When her legs begin to shake against his thighs he pulls his hand out of his trunks and cups her jaw to pull her mouth back to his. Their kiss is all brushing lips and deep moans as her orgasm rushes through her, tensing her body and he works her through it. “So fucking good for me.” He says against the corner of her mouth as she comes. His thumb slows its movements at her clit until she’s grabbing at his wrist when it becomes too much. 

She places a soft kiss against his lips when she comes to, slotting her lips against his. His bottom lips rest between her parted mouth as she pulls kiss after kiss from him, eating every moan and whimper that falls from them. He’s pulling his fingers from her then, cupping his hand until he’s out of her shorts. She watches with wide eyes as he brings the digits to his mouth, sucking his middle finger into his mouth and humming at the taste of her. He keeps his eyes open, watching the way brown eyes focus on the way his tongue laps over his finger. When he’s had his share he taps his ring finger against her lips, sliding it through when they part with a groan that has his hips in search of her center. A slow fuck reverberates from his throat as he watches her through a lustful gaze. Her eager mouth sucks him in slowly, putting on a show for him, licking around his digit in a way she had only imagined she’d suck his cock if given the chance. 

“Need t’be inside of you.” It’s a desperate whine, really. An airy plea that falls from rose-colored lips, tickles her insides and fills her with a warmth that blankets her soul. With a nod of her head and a whisper of, please he’s standing to his feet with her in his arms. He puts her down before spinning her in his arms, grabby hands caressing her skin as he nips at her neck. He’s pushing his hips into her as he grabs at hers, pulling her back to his chest. Her head is lulling against his shoulder facing the opposite way as he sucks a deep mark where her neck and shoulder meet. 

“Just can’t get enough of you, bug.” His hands slip up her sides, cupping her breasts in both palms. “Pretty under the sun, like it was made for you.” He murmurs, voicing his thoughts into the open. She whimpers when his hands tug at her shorts, fingers dipping below the waistband.  “Take ’em off.” She breathes above a whisper, placing her hands over his and pushing the tight fabric down her legs. He turns her around in his arms when she steps out of them, hands running aimlessly over her naked body. She’s pushing his swim trunks down his legs, keeping her eyes fixed on his. He watches her with a parted mouth as she drops to her knees before him and steps of out his shorts with a sigh. 

Lauren can hardly keep her hand still as she wraps her fingers around his length, groaning at the feeling of him in her hand. His skin velvet smooth, the weight of him resting in her palm nicely. She kisses around his thighs, whimpering along with him as she spreads the precum around his tip with her thumb. A muffled shit falls from Harry’s lips as he tilts his head back on his neck, blowing a puff of air towards the ceiling. Her heart pounds behind her ears as she takes him into her mouth slowly at first, humming at the taste of him on her tongue. Her eyes flutter closed for a moment, savoring the way he felt in her mouth, how heavy he felt laying against her tongue and she can only imagine the way he would fill and stretch her. She holds the base of him as she circles around his tip, familiarizing herself with every curve and indent of his cock. Harry’s hand finds its way to her hair, bunching at the nape of her neck and she lowers her mouth on him with a satisfied sigh. 

“Yes, baby suck me off like tha’.” He moans as his chin rests on his chest, which was beginning to glisten with a sheen of sweat. She places her other palm of his butterfly tattoo, nails creating crescents in his skin as she peers at him through her lashes. Harry knows that this can’t last for very long, not with the way her small hand stokes at his cock and her mouth swallows him deeper. He knows that if he doesn’t want to cream down her throat he should pull off soon, but the way her hand meets her mouth right under his tip when she’s rearing back has him shifting his hips forward towards her pretty mouth. 

She finds a rhythm of stroking her hand and sucking him off, squeezing at the base of him when she got there. Harry can’t contain the sounds that fall effortlessly from his mouth, whimpering her name like a prayer as he watches her take him down her throat. She lets her wrist twist as she pulls upwards, releasing her mouth from him with a pop in an attempt to gain some air. He nearly loses it when she taps his swollen tip against her stuck-out tongue before she traces the vein that runs along the underside of his length. She kisses at his thighs as she wanks him, leaving small marks on his skin as she sucks. Her thumb swipes over his slit periodically as she keeps her rhythm, twisting her wrist and squeezing slightly when she reaches his tip. Harry’s curling his toes against the hardwood flooring, his hand feeling limp in her hair as he succumbs to her touch, chanting her name as she pleases him. He lets her go on for a moment longer before he’s pulling his hips away from her and meeting her eyes with a breathless pant. 

“Got kinda close there, hm?” She asks as she stands to her feet again with a smile. He nods sheepishly, the words lost on his tongue and he presses his forehead to hers and she grasps at the fleshy part of his hips. She presses her mouth to his again, pulling up on his shoulders and he groans at the taste of himself and the stale remnants of her on his tongue. He brings her back with him as he sits on the alcove bench once more and she straddles his thighs, making a point to sit directly over his hardened length. 

“Gonna be a good girl fo’ me and ride my cock?” He murmurs against her jaw, placing soft kisses to her skin. She nods as she lifts her hips, reaching a hand between them to grab his dripping length. She holds him there for a moment, letting him slip against her folds and brush at her clit, eliciting a moan from her lips. Harry groans at the feeling of her wetness coating his cock and anticipation swells in his chest because he knows his fate. He had dreamt of it more times than he could count. Thought of the way her walls would stretch open for him and squeeze against him as he sheathed himself within her. But nothing compares to the way it actually feels when she sits down on him, drinking him in inch by inch and whimpering a soft cry of his name. Her nails dig into his shoulders and he hisses, watching with wide lust-blown eyes as he disappears within her. 

“Fuck, I love you.” He cries, bringing his eyes to find hers once more. Lauren finds his lips again as his chest heaves up and down against her own. “I’m so in love with you.” She whimpers against his lips when he bottoms out, filling her to the brim. God, was he big. Lauren thinks she has never felt so full in her life, never had she taken a dick as big as his and she needs a minute to just feel him. He kisses her slowly as she adjusts to his size, his thumb caressing the soft skin of her cheek as he lazily moves his tongue with hers. The initial roll of her hips has him moaning a filthy sound into her mouth, his other hand taking purchase of her ass. Her jaw unhinges and their kiss is lost as she does it again, lifting up slowly and rolling her hips forward when she comes back down. The hand on her face joins his other hand, his forearms resting underneath her thighs and holding her ass to guide her. The support allows her to rock her hips faster, bouncing along his length and scratching at his scalp. 

“Taking me so well, baby.” He snaps his hips up to meet hers and all the air is lost from her lungs as she cries out. Harry’s lips find her neck, sucking evidence of the way she was making him feel into the clammy skin. She tugs at the roots of his hair as she moves faster against him, feeling the pit in her stomach knotting itself once more. 

“Feel so full, H. Need you to fuck me.” The words sound so sinful falling from her lips, coated with an intense need for him. She knows there was no way she’d ever let go of this now, no matter what it took to keep it. He was hitting all the spots within her that made her legs shake and knees buckle, murmuring words into her skin that were only ever meant for her to hear. 

He flips them over quickly, resting her head against the arm of the bench with his hand underneath to keep her safe. His other hand pulls her leg around his hip as he kneels over her and pushes his chest against hers. A loud cry of fuck expels from her lips as his hips come down against hers, deeper than he was in their last position and her fingers claw down his back, leaving marks in her wake that she was sure to admire later on. One hand tangles in the damp tendrils of hair at the nape of his neck while the other grabs aimlessly at the apex of his ass while he fucks into her, drawing himself out completely before pushing into her again. 

“Need a proper fucking, yeah? Need me t’show you how much you mean t’me?” He pants against her ear, sliding his arm around her waist to hold her closer. His words further intensify to knot in her stomach, sparks tingling in her spine once more. She rolls her hips up into his, finding his rhythm and crying out when his patch of hair brushes against her clit. “Shit, Harry. I’m gonna come.” Her voice raises an octave towards the end and he’s picking up the speed of his hips. 

“Can feel you squeezing me, bug. Hold on f’me.” The kisses he’s pressing on her skin are a stark contrast from the steady roll of their hips, his tongue tracing behind her ear before sucking on her ear lobe. The pulse of her walls around his cock has him twitching within her, the familiar feel of his orgasm building at the bottom of his spine. He’s not quite finished with her yet, wants to be enveloped in her warmth for as long as he can. He knows he’ll be spending the rest of their stay buried inside of her in every room of the house because he just can’t seem to think about a scenario where they aren’t doing this. And he’s mad at himself for not saying anything sooner because this was what he had been missing. He should’ve been making love to her repeatedly way before they even got to this point, but he figures that it made it better. 

“Fuck, love want you to come.” He breathes against her mouth, hovering over her parted lips as his eyes stay locked on hers, supposing he’d be damned if he closed his eyes and missed the way her face turned when she comes undone. The snapping of his hips is relentless as she chants his name, willing her eyes to stay open as she fucks him back, welcoming the warmth that rushes over her. She tugs at the roots of his hair while simultaneously pushing him closer to her, breathing his name in airy sighs as she feels her orgasm peaking. 

“I’m coming. Fuck, baby, I’m -” 

“Come on my cock, love, need you to come.” He groans along with her as her legs shake and her orgasm ripples through her, squeezing the length of him tightly until his hips begin to stutter and he knows he can’t hold out for much longer. He holds her close as he works her through it, whispering sweet words against her cheek. “Tha’s it, love. So good for me.” The furrow between his brows is deep as he feels the start of his own orgasm building and numbing his legs. He grunts against her mouth as she holds him to her, working her hips as best she can as he rocks into her, bottoming out and staying there for a moment. 

“Come on, H. Want you to come inside.” She whimpers, the fluttering of her walls enticing him to do just that. “Yeah? Want me to fill you up with my come? Gonna take it all?” He rambles behind a wanton moan, his muscles tensing with every word that fell from his lips. She’s crying out his name, begging for his load in a way that makes Harry never want to stop coming. With three more thrusts, his body tenses on top of hers, and she continues to roll her hips as ropes of come paint her insides. Her name falls from his lips as he empties his balls within her, and she watches the way his face contorts, his mouth making an o shape. She kisses his face softly as he comes to, heavy grunts leaving his mouth and his chest heaving against hers frantically. 

It silent for a moment as they catch their breath, the sun has set beyond the horizon and a purple hue covers them. All that can be heard is their labored breath and Lauren carts her fingers through his hair as he softens inside her. She doesn’t want him to move, quite honestly. She has never felt closer to him than she does now, and she fears that if he moves that feeling will go away. Her heart pounds within her chest, her legs beginning to ache and she knows that she should clean the mess between her legs. Before she can move Harry’s slipping from her fold with a moan and grabbing her discarded t-shirt from the floor before bringing it between her legs. Harry laughs at the way Lauren scrunches her face as he uses her shirt to clean her up and he knows it’s only because it’s hers. 

“Didn’t wanna move too far from you just yet.” He laughs and presses a kiss on the side of her mouth. She hums, wrapping her arms around his neck before bringing his mouth back to hers to kiss him slowly. When his tongue enters her mouth she sighs, relaxes into the cushions of the bench and all of her worry dissipates. There was nothing to worry about. Harry loved her and she loved him and time had proven that the only thing that had gotten between that was themselves. She was certain she wouldn’t let that happen again and as their kiss deepened, Harry’s thoughts mirrored hers. 

“Love you, you know tha’?” He hums when they pull apart for a moment and she smiles softly, brushing the fallen hair away from his forehead with a nod. She repeats the sentiment and sits up, stretching her legs with a wince. Harry’s pulling her into his lap, unable to keep his hands off of her for more than a second now that he knows that he can, and Lauren sighs as she rests her head against his shoulder and watches out the window.

“We should take a bath, H. Think you broke my back near the end there.” A loud laugh pulls from his chest and he’s standing up with her in his arms. “M’sorry, love. Let’s go get you all put back together again.” He kisses her forehead tenderly and she can’t fight the smile that splits across her face. “Love you.” She sighs, burying her face into his neck as she crosses her ankles against his ass. 

“Love you, sunshine.”

2.14.21

Masterlist

#so into you #hs #harry styles fic #harry styles x ofc #harry styles smut #harry styles x black #harry styles #harry styles fic rec #thehoclibrary #best friends to lovers #bestfriend!harry

[chattingwiththelightkeeper]

Emotional Dishonesty

I was asked this question and it started me thinking:

Do you think that doms are allowed to also feel insecure as well or do you think that doms should always exude an air of confidence, which may be absent of any insecurities so that they can provide a secure environment for their sub?

This question made me facepalm at first and I was stunned. I thought at first, how can someone, let alone a person who identifies as a d-type not understand this. Thankfully, I took a deep cleansing breath before I decided to answer and thought for a moment. There is so much malarkey being shared in craptastic online ‘how-to guides’ to dominance about how d-types are alphas, better than the best, look fear in the face causing it to run home to its momma because of what must be constipated dom face. The constipated d-type face is my term for those selfies dominants send out or use as a profile picture where they have a serious yet painful grimace on their face which to me looks like they are backed-up and trying to force a log through their internal dam. Speaking of constipated, have you heard about the new movie called Constipated? It is not out yet, ba-dum shhh.

At first blush, I thought this question came from a place of ignorance but the more I thought about this the more it became clear that so much of the information that is put forth for d-types, especially new ones, actually can encourage emotional dishonesty.

I believe a dominant must have a level of self-confidence that allows them to know in their heart of hearts that they can, will, and do make the best possible choices for their submissive but this does not mean dominants are superhuman or superheroes. Being human means dominants have made and will make mistakes. It also means that there will be times of doubt, second-guessing, and even overthinking decisions and choices. This is not limited to vanilla things such as did I answer that important email, hire the right person, or pick the best product when shopping. I believe dominants will have times when they look at decisions they have made in their relationship wondering if it is right, will it bring the desired results, and if it was the right choice. Sometimes d-types have to let decisions play out and learn lessons afterward and other times they may change direction in the middle of the project because they see an impending error. Remember, dominants are human beings which means they are just like everyone else, flawed.

The fact that much of the propaganda directed at newbie d-types shows dominants as perfect, always confident, and some sort of relationship god. Much of this preaches that somehow by hiding emotions, insecurities, and exhibiting unbridled confidence coupled with a fearless face somehow empowers a submissive to feel trust and security but through all of this, the dominant is being dishonest with the person they should be the most honest with, their submissive. I feel that if a dominant truly wants to build a safe and trusting relationship, being able to say things like:

I am scared too, take my hand, follow me and we will get through this.

This is irrational but we need to wait an hour before going out because I am afraid to leave the dishwasher running if I am not home or I would love to walk across this bridge with you but I am afraid my fear of heights will cause me to freeze halfway across. This is one of my irrational fears and a place where my confidence may evaporate as I have a fear of heights. FYI, the old Shirely Lake Express chairlift at Squaw Valley, California was more terrifying for me to ride up than any run down the entire mountain.

Sharing with their submissive, when you do/say X, it makes me feel Y.

I am feeling this emotion and there is not a good reason for it but I want you to understand what is in my mind right now.

I am sorry, I made a mistake. We need to sit down and talk through what happened so I can learn from this.

Not only are the above things to keep in mind and great ways to potentially begin a challenging conversation, but there is something else that needs to be said. Dominants can and do have anxiety, PTSD, depression, and other mental health struggles. Within this lifestyle, it feels to me that some make d-types out to be people who do not have these challenges, or worse if a dominant does face these difficulties they are disqualified from being a d-type. This could not be farther from the truth because a D/S role does not make anyone immune to physical or mental health issues.

For me, it is simple, we are all humans first and whatever lifestyle role after that. Everyone is going to feel emotions, times of doubt, have irrational fears, and make mistakes. If a dominant wants to build a trusting and honest relationship it requires emotional honesty. Honesty is similar to trust in that if you want to be trusted, you must give trust which means a d-type must be honest with their submissive. I believe that when a dominant shares emotions honestly, it will do more to build a secure relationship rather than being disingenuous through displays of faux confidence and glossing over or forgetting mistakes. This does not mean a dominant cannot be guarded or very careful with who they open up their heart and mind to but when it comes to their submissive, d-types must be emotionally honest. So if you are a newer dominant, especially men, please put away the notion that emotions are to be hidden, restrained, and not expressed because the Victorian Age is history. Please, share your thoughts, own your mistakes, express how you feel (even when those emotions might not be happy ones), and be open about those times when you have or are having a struggle with your confidence because this will create a safe, secure space within the relationship that is so important. I know it can be very hard at times to drop your guard and open up but this is a requirement, not an option, and all that junk out there extolling the virtues of d-types as super-beings, is just like superheroes in comic books, fiction.

As with all of my writings, please see this disclaimer.

©TLK2021

[abbysfrenchbraid]

Nothing Else Matters

reference picture by @amisthiosintraining​

anonymous said:  Abby + Female reader, but it's Abby the one being f—cked with the strap on (I'm curious on that one)

Well, here you go. Abby and the reader have been hooking up for a while and the reader has managed to get their hands on some toys to make things more interesting. (5k words of SMUT)

content warning for bondage, light degradation and swearing, risk of exposure, ask to tag

Nothing Else Matters

The air in the room was damp and the smell of the sweaty bodies twitching and jumping reached your nostrils as you sat down to watch. You took off your sweater and placed it beside you, scanning the group of people for a familiar face.

There she was, her blonde braid flying as she whirled around, her face red and sweaty, full of concentrated rage. With an angry cry, she backhanded her partner across the face and sent him straight to the ground. She was glorious, muscles glistening in the neon light as she straddled the man on the ground and caught him in a headlock, grunting as she tightened her grip while he thrashed about trying to free himself. You could see her bicep flexing against his throat and his eyes widening at the sensation. 

Finally, he tapped her underarm two times and she let go immediately, rolling off of him and laying on the ground next to him, arms and legs spread wide. The man with hazel hair and a short beard was half-coughing, half-laughing and clutching his throat while the other soldiers ignored the pair and kept training.

“Jesus Christ Abby, do you want to kill me?”

She huffed and sat up, giving him a pat on the thigh.

“You deserved it, always skipping combat training to fool around with Mel.”

“Oh, so that’s the reason you’re so angry! You’re jealous,” he laughed and immediately put his arms up in defense before she could slap him, but she only leaned back on her arms and shrugged. When she looked up, she caught your gaze and you almost believed she had known you were there all along. The look only lasted a moment, then she smiled back at Owen.

“I’m not, you know that. Why would I waste my time thinking about you when there’s someone a million times hotter than you?”

Owen gasped in feigned shock and sat up as well.

“Better than this beautiful face and these” - he flexed his biceps - “perfectly sculpted muscles?”

Now Abby actually slapped him. He stood up and reached out a hand to help her up.

“Come on, tell me who it is. A soldier?”

The blonde slapped his hand away and got up on her own.

“I’ll tell you if you win this next round. Let’s go!”

She clapped her hands and let him attack, dodging his first few punches with ease before knocking him back into another pair of fighting wolves.

You smiled to yourself and leaned forward to rest your elbows on your knees. As your thoughts drifted elsewhere, the heavy breathing and grunting became white noise and Abby’s arms were the only thing you saw.

Working as a cook, you had often seen her and her friends in the cafeteria, always joking around and making a mess, clearly the popular kids at the base. Abby had been the one to clean up after the boys and apologize for their behavior when they were gone, always making sure to thank your colleagues for their effort and be nice to everyone.

She had noticed you a few weeks ago when you were on your break, sitting alone at a table reading and enjoying the silence in the big hall between mealtimes. The wolf had come over and asked if there were some leftovers for her as she had missed lunchtime for an extra round of training. You had made her some food and kept her company, both of you quickly finding out you got along extremely well and had many shared interests, especially the books you liked to read.

It had gone very fast from there. Secret meetings in empty hallways, sneaking out from work to steal a kiss between the clothing racks, slipping into her room when Manny was away for missions, you always found your way into each other’s arms. While you hadn’t admitted to yourself that it was anything more than just sex, you also spent quite a lot of time just reading or watching movies together, cooking or playing cards and Abby had even shown you some self-defense and wrestling moves that always ended with the two of you naked.

While the wolf was usually very dominant and protective, it was entirely different when you were alone. After you had hooked up the first few times, she had asked you to be rougher with her, leaving you surprised but not at all disinclined.

 You had found out that she actually liked to let go of all control and submit in the safe environment you had created for yourselves. While you had never really been super dominant before, you had quickly learned to enjoy this new role, always coming up with new ideas to make your lover squirm, suffer and cry beneath you.

Today you had something special in mind. Manny was out taking younger soldiers to an outpost for the first time and wouldn’t be back until tomorrow night, so you’d have the room to yourself. 

Your friend Jessie was running a little secret business on the base and you had already purchased a few goods for yourself but never shared them with Abby. Jessie, a trained soldier that wasn’t on active duty because of an injury but still did regular patrol runs to secure the area, had made it her purpose to find all the sex shops in the city and bring back merchandise that was still good to use. Together with her girlfriend who worked in the clothing department, she had started to sell toys, lingerie, and anything of that kind you couldn’t get at the commissary.

You often had coffee with the two of them, referring them to new customers around the stadium and talking about your new sexual adventures. Of course they didn’t know your partner was Isaac’s top soldier, but they gave you a lot of good ideas. Today you had decided it was time to try something more daring. Jessie had shown you how to use the things you had bought and now they were lying in a bag between your feet, drawing your eyes and thoughts toward them and whispering to you about all the things you could do with them.

You were torn from your thoughts by the trainer in the corner clapping loudly.

“Alright guys, dinner’s in half an hour. Good work, I’ll see you on Wednesday. You too, Owen.”

She gave the grinning man a stern look, but he just winked at her and turned around to Abby.

“So, you gonna tell me who you’ve got your eye on?”

“Hell no, you lost three times. Try again next time.” Abby shoved him playfully and walked past him to collect her bag. She emptied half her water bottle in one go and looked up at you before splashing some water on her face. What a tease.

“You coming?” Owen was already at the door.

“I need a minute to talk to someone. I’ll see you at dinner.”

“Alright.” He shrugged and disappeared into the hallway.

The sweaty blonde casually came over to your bench and sat next to you, keeping a few inches between you.

“Did you enjoy the show?” You didn’t look at her but you could tell by her voice she was trying to stifle a grin.

“Oh, I most definitely did. It stopped far too soon though.” You turned your head and let your eyes wander over her freckled shoulders, her neck glistening with sweat and her chest still moving rapidly underneath the tight sports bra. “I was thinking maybe I could get a private encore back at your room.”

Abby suddenly sat up straight and her face seemed to go even more red than it already was. She was still staring at the floor in front of you, tightening her grip around the water bottle and biting her lip. You decided to take a risk and ran your fingertips over her lower back, otherwise completely relaxed and watching the remaining few people in case anyone noticed.

“You fought so well today, baby. What would they say if they knew how you surrender to me with a single word from me? How you’ll beg me to fuck you just for the chance of having my fingers inside of you?”

Abby let out a shaky breath and squirmed on her seat, a mere tilt of her head in your direction telling you she enjoyed this as much as she hated it.

“What would they say if they knew I have a rope inside my bag, waiting for me to tie you up and leave you completely defenseless at my mercy?”

Her knuckles were white from the tension in her hands and she pressed her thighs together.

“Baby…” she gave you a pleading look, “please stop torturing me.”

The last few people were clearing out and the trainer nodded at Abby who just raised a hand in greeting, trying to act normal. As soon as the room was empty you turned to her, grabbed her braid and pulled it down and towards you, her face only an inch from yours as a moan escaped her.

“Are you so needy already, you little slut?” You lightly pinched her breast and she whined, leaning into you and pressing her head against your collarbone.

“Please, please, baby, let’s go back to my room. I’ll do everything you want. I need you.”

You let go of her braid, stood up abruptly and turned to her. Abby immediately grabbed your thighs and pulled you in, pressing her forehead to the seam of your jeans. You put your hands on your hips and sighed.

“I don’t know, maybe we should have dinner first. Also, you need to shower, you’re filthy.”

In reality, Abby being all sweaty and hot made you want to pin her against a wall and lick her clean, but you kept that to yourself for now.

“Please, Y/N. I’ll be good. I can’t wait that long.”

You freed yourself and pulled her up, giving her a peck on the lips.

“You go shower. I’ll wait for you in your room.”

She smiled and quickly grabbed her stuff, stealing another kiss before rushing toward the community showers. Also not a bad place for some secret public action, you thought. Maybe in the early morning when no one was there. You could order the soldier to be quiet as you fucked her senseless and force her to relive the moment every time she took a shower afterward.

You slung the bag over your shoulder and grabbed your sweater, debating if you should make Abby have dinner with you in the cafeteria, teasing her the entire time and forcing her to keep calm in front of everyone while she was dripping wet for you. But you had to admit that you needed her, too. You could always get some leftovers for you later or wait until the morning when you had to work the breakfast shift anyway.

When you arrived at Abby’s room, you quickly looked left and right before entering and then headed straight for her bed. You took the smooth, black rope from your bag and laid it on the bed. Your second surprise could wait until later.

You let your fingers run over the spines of the books on the top bunk, smiling to yourself over the selection of old classics that definitely worked as a form of escapism from this place. Don Quijote, A Thousand and One Nights, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Abby didn’t seem like it at first glance, but she was a dreamer, always mentally wandering off and spending her time in other realities, ones where adventures were something you chose to go on. No infected, no sad remnants of what the world had once been, but beautiful landscapes, interesting strangers, and the joy of being alone but never lonely, wandering but at home anywhere in the world.

Her life had never been easy and she had suffered unspeakable pain, but she always found something worth smiling for, worth living for and she loved letting go of all the sadness and harshness and enjoying herself in those short, sweet moments when everything was okay.

Your time together had definitely made her happier than she had been in a long time and you were so, so good at letting her escape this reality and carrying her somewhere else.

The door opened and you snapped out of your reverie, turning around to see a freshly showered Abby come down the stairs to the lower part of the room. She was wearing shorts and a tank top, unintentionally showing off her round shoulders, her breasts, and her thick, hard thighs stretching out the fabric of her shorts as she walked towards you. Her hair was still wet and she had already brushed it, the dark strands falling over her shoulders and framing her beautiful, still slightly flushed face.

“Hey baby,” she murmured and moved in for a kiss. Her lips were incredibly soft, gently brushing against yours and opening slightly for her tongue to touch your upper lip. You grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her in, immediately deepening the kiss, dipping your tongue into her mouth and biting the blonde’s bottom lip. She sighed and fell into you, pushing you towards the bed but you grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled without too much force, just enough to make her stand straight and look at you with pleading eyes. She knew it wasn’t going to be that easy.

You took a step back and looked her up and down.

“Clothes off.”

Abby’s eyes quickly went to the privacy shield next to her bed that she normally used to get dressed without half the stadium being able to see her naked, but you shook your head and she dropped her gaze, blushing again. You watched her as she pulled up the shirt over her head, revealing her freckled chest, perfectly sculpted abs and hard, dark pink nipples in the center of soft, ivory flesh.

When she ran her thumbs along the waistband of her shorts, she stared at you defiantly but you just held her gaze and smiled. You knew she was probably already dripping wet, secretly liking the risk and humiliation. If anyone were to walk by below you or stare up from afar knowing who’s room they were looking at, they would see the two of you facing each other, one clothed and one completely naked, the tension between you almost flickering in the air.

You stepped aside and pointed towards the bed.

“On the bed, Abigail.”

The wolf shuddered at your use of her full name and you could see goosebumps forming on her arms. She lay down on the bed and you took the rope, very content about her eyes widening at the sight. Before you could say anything she held out her hands, breath catching in her throat.

You wrapped the black rope around her wrists, gently pulling it tight, and tied her hands to the metal rods at the top of the bed. Still having a few meters left, you tied the next knot around Abby’s left ankle, fastening it to the bed frame pressed to the wall and doing the same to the other foot, spreading her legs and pinning them in place.

You crouched down next to her head, brushing a strand of hair out of her face and cupping her cheek with your hand.

“I know this is new for you and I promise you, I’ll never do anything you don’t want. Just say the safeword and I’ll stop.”

The blonde nodded, squirming in her restraints.

“Abby, I need to hear you say it.”

“I’m okay. I’ll let you know if something is wrong. Now can you please fucking touch me already?” She bucked her hips up and tried to pull down her hands to touch you, grunting in frustration when the rope didn’t let her move an inch.

You reached out and ran your fingertips over her collarbone, her chest and down over her stomach, stopping right above the curls between her legs. She tried to press her legs together to get some form of friction but and whined when she couldn’t, but you just let your fingers wander further down her leg and up the other, caressing the inside of her thigh. When your fingers came closer to her sex, her breathing got faster and she stopped moving, hoping you would grant her a touch now that she was good.

Watching her face, you ran a finger along her hot folds, immediately coating your fingertip in her juices. She gasped when you stopped to draw small circles around her clit.

“So wet already? God, you just love being completely in my power.”

You dipped your finger in the pooling wetness, holding back for just a moment longer. Abby was already a mess beneath you, her legs twitching and her back arching in response to your teasing. You suddenly pulled your hand away and her eyes flew open to stare at you with a mixture of frustration and pleading.

“What if I just let you lie there while I get myself off over here? Make you watch without being able to do anything about it while you lie in your own juices? Take you to dinner after while you’re all needy and soaked?”

Abby’s mouth twisted into a pout and she looked like she was about to cry.

“Please, Y/N, please touch me. I can’t take it any longer. Please?” The last word was a whine and you decided to stop being cruel.

With one swift motion, you pushed two fingers all the way inside her. The blonde cried out and immediately pushed back against your hand, craving more. You slowly pulled your fingers back out and made sure to catch her gaze as you put them in your mouth and licked them clean.

“Such a sweet girl.”

Her eyes were full of longing when she accepted your fingers into her mouth, sucking on them as she looked up at you. You moved your hand downwards again, pushing your fingers inside her much slower this time and pulling them out again, beginning to stroke her in a slow rhythm.

With your other hand, you squeezed her breast and trailed your fingers over her nipples before running your fingers along the delicate skin of her jaw and throat.

You picked up the pace, fucking Abby harder while her whining got louder. Curving your fingers upwards and letting them flutter against that tender spot inside her, you heard her breath stop for a second before she let out a high pitched moan. You didn’t give her time to catch her breath, now hitting her in all the right spots, your fingers thrusting deep inside her and your thumb on that sweet, pulsing nub that had patiently waited for its turn.

It was wonderful, watching the small muscles on her stomach contract and her broad thighs pull on the restraints as she got closer and closer. Her whole body was tensing up and her moans got faster and higher until she cried out “I’m gonna cum, can I please cum!” and you immediately pulled your hand away.

She almost screamed in frustration.

“Baby, please, I’m so close!”

You slowly drew your digit along her bottom lip.

“Only if you ask me nicely. No cumming without my permission.”

She licked the tip of your finger and looked up at you.

“I promise I’ll be good, please.”

You lightly scratched her stomach on the way down and she trembled at the sensation. This time you lightly placed two fingers on her clit and started rubbing it in slow circles, never losing your pace as your lover’s moans got louder again. As soon as she asked if she could cum, you stopped moving but left your hand in place, keeping her dangerously close to the edge and to the possibility of a ruined orgasm.

The wolf was now actively fighting her restraints, pulling her hands downwards and trying to get loose but you had known what you were doing and the knots didn’t budge. Some strands of hair had fallen into her face, a thin coat of sweat was glistening on her forehead and between her breasts. She was a mess.

“Baby, please, please, I’m begging you. Please let me cum.”

You slid a finger inside her again, brushing against her g-spot as you gently put your other hand on her lower stomach and pressed down. She arched beneath you, pushing her hips into your touch and letting out a much deeper, almost animalistic groan. You took your time driving her closer and closer to that sweet high and waited for her to ask again, knowing she was scared to lose your fingers again but also not wanting to be punished for not asking permission.

Finally, she couldn’t wait any longer. “Can I please cum, please, please, oh god -”

The words fell from her lips just as you pressed the pad of your thumb to her clit.

“Cum for me, baby.”

You were out of breath, pressing your thighs together to soothe the ache that had been growing between your legs. Suddenly the wolf beneath you cried out, her entire body twitching and convulsing around your fingers as you carried her through her orgasm. When she finally stopped moving, the room was filled with the sound of both of you panting and the smell of sex, sweat and heat had spread in every corner.

Slowly, you pulled your fingers from the blonde’s body and got up. She was still disoriented and gave you a confused look as you bent down to pick up your bag.

“You gonna cut me loose here?”

You didn’t reply, instead choosing to pull your shirt over your head and take off your pants and ignoring your lover’s squirming.

“I got something else for you. I know I already make you scream with the touch of a single finger, but I think it’s time I gave you something bigger.”

Her eyes widened as you pulled a harness and a small package out of the bag. Sitting down next to her, you opened the carton and pulled out a black silicone dildo. Abby visibly shifted next to you and pressed her lips together, unwilling to give away her thoughts. As if she had any chance of hiding from you how much she wanted you to fuck her senseless, to make her see stars and completely destroy her.

You turned to her. “I need you to tell me what you want. We can do this another time or not at all. I’m all ears.”

You knew exactly what you were doing. While being an absolute service top, it was also extremely fun to watch Abby blush and stammer trying to pluck up the courage to tell you what she wanted. She was always so shy and embarrassed about wanting to be dominated, so you had made it your little game to force her to admit it.

“You can do whatever you want with me, baby.”

“Oh Abs, you know you don’t get it that easily. What do you want me to do with it?”

She tried to avoid your gaze.

“You could fuck me with it?” she mumbled.

“I didn’t hear you. Speak up.” Oh, this was so much fun.

“Fuck you! You heard me right, you’re just teasing me.”

You slapped her breast and she sucked in a sharp breath.

“You don’t speak that way to me, you little whore. Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you’ve been eyeing that dick. You want me to fucking ruin you and you’re too cowardly to say it. How disappointing.”

With a theatrical sigh, you got up and took a few steps towards your clothes on the stairs.

“Wait, baby, please. I’m sorry. Please.”

You turned on your heel and stared at her, lifting a brow.

“Come here, please. I want you to fuck me. Fuck me until I can’t do anything but scream your name. Please, baby.”

Satisfied, you stepped into the loops of the harness and put the dildo through the metal ring, pulling everything tight as you felt Abby’s eyes roaming over you. Then you were next to her and started untying her feet. On second thought, you loosened the rope around her wrists as well.

“I’m not making this easy for you by tying you up. Your hands stay at the head of the bed. If you touch me, I’ll stop. If you behave, I’ll think about letting you cum a second time.”

The fear in Abby’s eyes was exhilarating. She nodded.

“Am I allowed to make noise?”

You thought about it for a second, then you agreed. This was the first time with a strap on, it would surely be hard enough to keep her hands still.

Checking to see if you’d need more lubrication, you inserted a finger into her - she was dripping wet.

“Pathetic.”

Before she could respond, you spat into your hand and coated the dildo in it. The wolf audibly swallowed at the sight. You knelt between her legs, rubbing your hand over her abs and breasts and mixing your saliva with her sweat. Goosebumps grew on her freckled skin.

Slowly, you lined yourself up with her throbbing cunt and started pushing into her. When you were all the way in, you stopped for a moment so Abby could adjust to the size. You slowly ran a hand up her body again and wrapped your fingers around her throat.

“I want to hear you.”

She gasped as you pulled out just a tiny bit and thrust back into her.

“Fuck me, please. I can take it. Fuck me hard.”

Without taking your hand off her, you pulled all the way out and watched her face as you pushed back into her with deep, hard strokes. She melted in your fingers. Her expression was a mixture of surprise, lust, satisfaction, a little bit of pain and an ever-growing hunger.

“Faster, baby,” she whined, her hands twitching towards your face for a moment before she stopped herself and pushed her hips up against you instead.

Deciding the wolf had begged enough, you straightened up and started picking up a faster pace. She started moaning, arching her back and pressing her hands against the metal bed frame. Going faster and faster, you savored every second of seeing her writhe beneath you, hearing the slaps of your skin against hers and the delightfully obscene wet noises her cunt made as it swallowed every thrust.

The strap on and the leather front of the harness worked just right in putting pressure on your clit, your breathing getting harder from effort and arousal at the same time. With one swift motion, you grabbed Abby’s ankles and pulled them up on your shoulders to get a deeper angle.

She let out a deep, coarse moan coming from deep within her and her eyelids flew open. Giving her a devilish smile, you folded your arms around her legs and began slamming your hips into her, your groans falling into the rhythm of Abby’s cries. Her biceps flexed deliciously as she pulled on the bed frame and threw her head back in ecstasy, a steady flow of curses streaming from her mouth.

Losing strength in your arms, you let go of her legs and they fell to your sides as you dropped forward onto your lover’s chest, keeping a steady pace. The friction to your own core was much stronger now and you felt yourself getting close to the peak.

“Touch me, now!” you commanded and her arms flew down and closed around your back, holding you close while digging her nails into your skin. She dragged them down as you fucked her harder, leaving burning streaks on your shoulder blades. Her legs also closed around your hips, amplifying your thrusts into her as you grabbed a fistful of her hair and made her scream out in pain and pleasure. You wanted her to cum with you, to ride this high together.

“Baby, I’m so close.” Finally.

“Come for me, Abby.” You sank your teeth into her throat and tightened your grip in her hair, grinding into her with all your strength until you both started crying out each other’s names, scratching and grabbing at each other’s bodies as waves of pleasure rushed over you and made you twitch and shake.

Still inside her, you lay on Abby’s chest, both of you coated in sweat, spit and each other’s juices. She ran a hand through your hair and drew the pad of her thumb over the red marks on your back.

“Oh Y/N, what are you doing to me?”

You reached back a hand to loosen the straps of the harness and lifted your head to look at the flustered blonde. Slowly, you pulled out of her and enjoyed the almost unnoticeable twitches of her face, small echoes of the sensations she had felt minutes before. The strap on fell to the floor with a heavy thud and you both had to laugh at the sound.

Abby sighed and pulled you closer.

“I think every single person on the base either saw or heard us. Or both.”

You buried your face between her breasts and soaked in her wonderful musk before licking a line all the way up to her earlobe.

“Do you care?”

She laughed again, her chest vibrating against yours.

“Not really, no. When I have you, nothing else matters.”

You both paused for a second, letting that sentence sink in. Carefully, you placed a soft kiss to her lips and she deepened it, caressing your tongue with hers and gently biting your bottom lip.

You would have to have this conversation sometime soon. But right now, it was enough to feel the deep, intense connection between you as you nestled your face in the crook of your lover’s neck and she pulled a sheet over both of you, enjoying this moment together without thinking of anything else, especially not the future.

When you were together, nothing else mattered.

-

Author’s note: Thank you for reading, feel free to tell me what you thought 💌 if you’d like, you can support me by buying me a coffee 💛

#abby anderson #abby tlou #abby tlou2 #abby anderson fanfiction #abby anderson smut #smut #the last of us 2 #the last of us fanfiction #abby anderson x reader #abby x reader

[perfectharmonyloveschaos]

Sora Is the Master of Masters All Evidence

Part 1:

Kingdom Hearts 2.8 Backcover is the first instance that we meet the Master of Masters ourselves without anyone else’s perspective of events and see him as an individual character. From the get-go, the Master of Masters (or MoM as I will be addressing him throughout this theory for simplicity sake) is immediately addressed with heavy respect from his title alone. But, Chirithy also makes sure to mention his “mischievous” nature that we see a lot of throughout all of his appearances from here on. Due to the Master of Masters only being included and planned from Backcover onwards, it definitely seems more than coincidental that all of his similarities to Sora take place in the games technically made after Backcover which I will discuss; Backcover itself, KHX and KHUX, 0.2, KH3 and ReMind.

Both Sora and MoM are introduced as joker, light-hearted characters who use humour to lighten dark situations and comfort people. They hold themselves lightly and make fun of themselves to make others laugh or to lighten the dark of a situation. Sora did this when he comforted Riku by pulling a funny face (“how am I going to face everyone?!”/“like this?”) in KH2 while MoM pretended to question if Invi cared about him when she was overthinking things and getting worried about the events to come (“do you… want me to go?!”)

Both characters share several of the same gestures and body movements, with Sora copying a lot of MoM’s gestures especially in KH3 and ReMind. Both hold their arms behind their heads, tilt their heads or even bodies sideways playfully and poke things to name a few shows off their playful, animated gestures. Both use their right hands when using the Keyblade with Sora holding his in his right hand and MoM summons No Name with his right hand to give it to Luxu.

Along with these personality and movement similarities, we also have the infamous Gazing Eye' glitch found in KH ReMind that 'definitely calls this theory into question. Why does a glitch like this only happen with Young Xehanort, whom we know MoM interacted and met with? Why does it only happen when Young Xehanort uses his time alteration powers if this was simply a glitch in the texture of Sora and the Gazing Eye's eye? Would that not mean that this could be triggered at any other time? And why is it so cleanly done if not to be intentional? This 'glitch' appears perfectly on Sora's eye and doesn't affect any other texture on Sora. If Sora was in fact MoM, would it not make sense for his possibly clairvoyant/prediction abilities to be affected by Young Xehanort affecting time? This would be too difficult go be a simple visual glitch or error of the engine given how the texture of the Gazing Eye appears in both of Sora's eyes perfectly, as well as appearing bloodshot since there would be no reason for Sora's eyes to use the bloodshot texture AND the Gazing eye texture together.

Speaking of Sora’s eyes, this also brings me back to the pre-KH3 release conspiracy theory about Sora’s eye colour changing to green throughout the trailers which people passed off as being the reflections of the environment. This happened several times throughout the game and seemingly meant nothing, but when you consider who Sora was interacting his eye colour changed, him possibly being the MoM explains this. The first time we see this is in Mount Olympus, when Sora meets with Xigbar for the first time since DDD and we see Sora’s eyes have strong green tint compared to Hercules, who also has bright blue eyes that don’t seem to be affected by the lighting. Maybe only the KH original models are affected for some reason? Xigbar’s eyes are also not affected, while yellow, which would definitely show given how intense Sora’s are. Xigbar, is Luxu, so one could assume that anyone connected to MoM would make Sora’s eyes react, yes? Again, we see Sora’s eye go green with others as well. In Kingdom Of Corona, Sora’s eyes are once again green and while it it way greener here than Olympus, Marluxia’s—or Lauriam, who MoM choose as a Dandelion leader and survivor of the war—eyes once again are not affected, nor are any other characters’ like Rapunzel, Flynn, or Mother Gothel. Only Sora. We see this again with Ven when Vanitas is going to kill Aqua in the land of Departure and Sora wakes Ventus up from inside him, Sora’s eyes go green while no one else’s, including Ven and Aqua both of whom have blue eyes, have their eyes affected. And the final past character that is directly tied to the MoM through the dandelions and Sora whose presence affects Sora’s eyes is Ephemer in the Keyblade Graveyard. Ephemer has no reason to come to Sora here, compared to Ventus who he knew in canon and had every reason to help but let die in the previous ending, given that they do not know one another beyond Ventus. And as the camera zooms into Sora, Sora’s eyes gain a slight green tint to his eyes before the centre of his eyes change to a light, greenish blue that is very similar to another Name’s Gazing eye and focuses on his eye not only here, but once Sora snaps back to reality and focuses on the reflection of all the dead keyblades helping them. Here, Sora’s eyes are green again the exact same way that his eyes were green interacting with Xigbar/Luxu and Marluxia/Lauriam, both of whom were tied to the MoM. The green tint and highlight of the colour around his iris is identical to that of the Gazing Eye in No Name, with the environments and how others reacting to them in each of these worlds showing that these events and only these affect solely Sora’s eyes, proving that this is not just a simple light reflection but something done intentionally to Sora’s eyes.

Beyond physical and personality similarities, both Sora and MoM share another quality with only one other individual in the entirety of the KH cast; they are the only ones aside from Xehanort to have held and been the apparent wielder of the X-Blade. While we never see him with it, Nomura confirmed that MoM had had the X-Blade at one point and studied it to create the Keyblade that everyone in KHX used. He used the X-Blade as an example and managed to figure out, through studying it, how to extract the light/power from people’s hearts and shaped their Keyblades which he then trained the Foretellers with. As well as the X-Blade, MoM also had a sort of authority over Kingdom Hearts as well as Ira mentioned that he had given them Keyblades to protect Kingdom Hearts and Ava tried to warn Gula away from summoning Kingdom Hearts since MoM had said it was “forbidden”. Gula decided to try and summon Kingdom Hearts in order to force the MoM to return to set them straight, showing that he held a sense of cautious as well towards it and decided to not use it and lock it away instead. Given that the MoM’s word was seen as gospel, this was more than likely a serious warning and order. And what do we see by the end of Kingdom Hearts 3? Sora, earning the X-Blade and telling Xehanort that using it is wrong and that no one should use its power to change destiny, before closing it to keep the worlds safe. Both characters—with only Xehanort as the other wielder of the X-Blade and exception of this mindset—had this power and chose to not use it but instead locked it away from using it for their own gains.

Both of these characters also shared the same philosophy of destiny despite the power they hold; Sora, who has challenged and even changed his friends’ doomed fates claims that a true leader knows that destiny “beyond his control” and “accepts that”, something that makes no sense with how much he has changed his own destiny and the events written in the Book Of Prophecy. However, the Master of Masters shares these ideals and believes not in changing what is meant to happen, but rather in preparing for what happens after that in order to secure the best aftermath. Why would Sora believe in this given his past, if not to draw similarities between himself and MoM?

The Book Of Prophecies, as depicted in Backcover, also shares connections to what we assume to be the timeline of events surrounding not the the events of Backcover and the Keyblade war, but rather the events of the entire game series timeline. We see MoM looking at the Book of Prophecies through the Cases of the different Foretellers and Luxu, as well as Ira later on in the movie which we can use to create a basic ‘timeline’ of events based on imagery depicted.

We see the MoM look through throughout Backcover, with the ‘Case of Gula’ showing what seems to be the earliest part of the book we see with an illustration of a darkside heartless and a keyblade which would either be the Kingdom Key or Kingdom Key D, placing the beginning of the book at the first Kingdom Hearts game. The reason I think this takes place during KH1 rather than 0.2 is the Sora’s crown emblem being on the page previous to a Darkside heartless, seeming to signify Sora and then his first battle against the darkness either on his Station of Awakening or Destiny Islands, as well as these pages appearing to be nearing the middle of the book which would make sense given that Sora only entered the canon timeline after the whole Fairytale Saga, BBS and 0.2 took place. Then, we see the next page with an image of a shadow heartless, both which Sora fights on Destiny Islands after getting the keyblade and then in Traverse Town where he learns about the darkness or could simply represent all heartless as the most recognisable heartless. The page after this shows another Keyblade which looks like the Kingdom Key again, while the next page is the infamous ‘traitor’ that the MoM rips out and gives to Gula and the page after holding another illustration of Sora’s crown emblem. Given the pacing of events based on the concept of this book depicting the events of Sora’s experiences in KH1, the page detailing the ‘traitor’ may in fact be talking about Riku and his betrayal of Sora by accepting Maleficent's help. The MoM’s wording seems to support this, by telling Gula to “find the traitor hidden among you and stop them before it’s too late”, through Sora eventually learning of Riku’s fall to darkness and possession by Ansem before stopping Riku-Ansem and saving the worlds.

This causes us to question exactly how would the MoM know of Sora's first adventure given that his eye, at this point, hasn't even seen Sora yet? The only logical answer? Because he lived it.

During the ‘Case of Aced’; when Aced, who acts a lot like Sora in KH1, is angry at Ira being chosen to be the new leader and was constantly in Ira's shadow, much like how Sora was undermined by Riku who was seen as the better of the two and originally chosen first by the keyblade. These corresponding at the same time suggests a connection to KH1, Sora, and Aced. Even their whole discussion over why Aced shouldn't be leader seems to, much like his discussion with Invi over keeping up "otherwise you'll be left behind, all alone" seems to cause an unconscious reaction from the MoM. "I know you want it, but that just isn't enough. Any chump can say, 'You! Here's a huge promotion. Good job!' and make you head honcho, but enthusiasm alone doesn't make a great leader." The way this is worded, especially with "great" and not just "good" suggests he has a basis for it, similar to how Sora saw Riku as being better than him. His following line "Ira needs someone like you to give him a push in the right direction" is spoken with anger or bitterness, as if the MoM understood Aced's annoyance at being considered second and feeling similarly in the past, as if he had to act supportive and push someone who was considered better than him in the 'right direction' before. But, his "you need to support Ira'' line is spoken sternly, acting as though he knows from experience that someone like Ira would need the more emotional support of someone like Aced, who uses his heart to decide things rather than "always just thinking and thinking and thinking behind that Unicorn mask of his" as Ira does. Everything said in this scene definitely parallels Sora and his emotions in the first KH game up until Sora decided that his friends were his power and that he didn’t need the keyblade to be strong, something that the MoM understands and acts sympathetic towards Aced about while trying to push him towards the same idea; "you might not be entirely happy with your role, but just know that it's the most important one." There is also a sense of symbolism in this scene with the MoM using his hand to cover the Kingdom Key when telling Aced that he will be Ira’s right hand man, possibly paralleling back to Sora’s own sense of being overshadowed by Riku.

Other connections these two share include the emphasis of their bond with Dream eaters and the Wreck-It Ralph summon from KH3. Both of these two characters show a stronger connection to Dream Eaters than any other characters, with MoM being the ‘creator’ of the Chirithy dream eaters which hold a deep connection to their owners’ hearts and are affected by their owners’ state given that these dreams eaters, like when Sora fell into darkness, fall into darkness with their masters and become nightmares. And what is Sora’s nightmare in DDD? A figure in a dark coat with purple and pink colours and a dark dream eater symbol on their back, much like the MoM and his black coat and the Chirithy nightmare we see in Backcover and KHUX.

#kingdom hearts #KH #kingdom hearts theory #kingdom hearts 3 spoilers #kingdom hearts 3 #master of masters #KH sora #kingdom hearts sora #kh master of masters #MoM!Sora #mom!sora #sora is the master of masters theory

[centaur-astrology]

Ceres: Asteroid Goddess, the “Mother”

-

Ceres is one of the few feminine planets in Astrology- and, yes, she is now a dwarf planet (like Pluto, her brother). Ceres (Demeter in Greek), Juno (Hera), Vesta (Hestia) and Pallas-Athena (Athena) are the 4 major asteroid Goddesses talked about by Demetra George & Douglas Bloch in their fantastic book, Asteroid Goddesses, and have been the main four asteroids that I use with clients.

But the question is: what can she tell us in our charts?

For the answer, we have to go back in to the Greek/Roman myth:

Ceres, or Demeter, was the mother of Persephone. Her daughter was everything to her. On her own, Demeter was a major player and powerful figure in the Olympic Pantheon- she was a daughter of Kronos, sister to Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades. She ruled grain, food that grows from the earth. In essence, she ruled how we nourish ourselves.

But she had this fatal flaw- that of overly identifying with her role as mother. Regardless of how Persephone left (was it abduction, or was it just her growing up?), we see this identity crisis arise. When Persephone is taken, Demeter is plunged in to the depths of rage and grief. She stops all crops from growing, causing the first ever winter for humans. She doesn’t care about anything- only getting her daughter back. So she decides to cloak herself, disguised as an old mortal woman, and finds herself the nanny to a human babe. She nurtures this baby, and decides to turn him immortal by giving him ambrosia and passing him over flames- but, sadly, the true parents witness her putting their baby in to the fire and end the ceremony.

She does, eventually, get Persephone back, but this is a key point of Demeter/Ceres’ part of the myth: her daughter has gone, and she finds herself at odds with her identity as “Mother” (for without a child, how can she be a mother?), so she goes and finds a new baby.

The ego-identity needed to replace a child.

And, so, Ceres’ question becomes: is this nourishing, or is it an addiction?

How does this play out in our charts?

From Demetra George & Douglas Bloch’s Book Asteroid Goddesses (*reformatted for Tumblr)

“Ceres -

Feminine Function: creating, supporting, sustaining physical progeny, physical nurturing -- food

Woman’s Stereotype: “Mom” at home cooking in the kitchen, cleaning the house, nursing the family, living for and through children

Alternative Modes of Expression for Women and Men: teachers and educators of children, children’s services, issues of pro-choice/pro-life, midwifery and humane childbirth, farming, gardening, food-related services, nutrition, health awareness, single parenting as a conscious choice, world hunger & relief organizations, death, dying, hospice work

Especially for Men...: increased participation in childbirth/child rearing... developing attitudes of compassion/acceptance/empathy”

---

There is a necessary loss with Ceres, and through her we have the choice to seek something that fulfills us, or to replace what we’ve lost with more of the same.

1st House/Aries

Addicted to/Distracting self by: constant new experiences; focus on outward appearance; overly identifying as a nurturer or parent; needing to be nurtured by your partner or friends but choosing to ignore this in order to be independent.

Change this to nourishment: contemplate how experiences have affected you and formed your identity; do activities and actions for your own enjoyment, not because you ‘should’; ask for help when needed, and allow others to care for you.

2nd House/Taurus

Addicted to/Distracting self by: surface level value, focus on income, depending on others to pay for them, high level of materialism, needing nice things to be secure, focusing on the physical side (rather than emotional) of relationships

Change this to nourishment: think on your true core values, what do you really want versus what do you think you want; slow, intimate sex; basic necessities and living below means; helping with income; spending time directly in relation to your core values (ie: time outside, time volunteering, time with family, time gardening, etc.)

3rd house/Gemini

Addicted to/Distracting self by: media, information, gossip, data, social media, not digesting information

Change this to nourishment: writing ideas down, processing dreams, singing and using your voice, chanting, crafting or using your hands, figuring out what certain information means to you, and what is important to remember, forget, or research further

4th house/Cancer

Addicted to/Distracting self by: needing other’s affection, crying out for attention, lashing out at parents/children, falling ill (hypochondria) or seeking out those who need you to ‘nurse’ them, over-eating when emotional, over-idealization of and association with the role of “mother”

Change this to nourishment: consider your feelings rather than pushing them down or letting them control you; journal; surround yourself with nourishing snacks that you enjoy; supporting the “mothers” in your life; taking time for yourself to relax; making your home environment comfortable and positive; feeding your friends and family, and allowing them to feed you

5th house/Leo

Addicted to/Distracting self by: self-centered creating; making art for approval; not pursuing artistic endeavors (causing lack of confidence), too-strong association with being a ‘child at heart’- and needing others to care for you; not allowing yourself to play, or only playing

Change this to nourishment: being encouraging to other creators; making an atmosphere of positivity and encouragement; allowing yourself time alone to create art (music, textile, culinary, illustration, clay, etc.); making art just for yourself and not for approval; spending time as a teacher or playing with children, or taking time to release your inner child

6th house/Virgo

Addicted to/Distracting self by: service, work, perfectionism, putting others before yourself, trying to make everyone else happy, too much pressure on yourself, over-analyzing

Change this to nourishment: daily practice of meditation, time to relax, massage, slow meals, allow yourself mistakes, laughter as medicine

7th house/Libra

Addicted to/Distracting self by: selflessness, identity in the other, fear of conflict; putting other’s views of self above own view of self; too much focus on cooperation to the detriment of self

Change this to nourishment: conflict in healthy, calm settings; speaking your mind and standing up for self while allowing for dialogue and compromise; experiencing “unconditional love”- which means you feel safe to say when you are unhappy, or need a change; taking time to do activities alone, but also doing activities with your friends/partner

8th house/Scorpio

Addicted to/Distracting self by: deep and intense emotions of jealousy, rage, envy, and anger; drama; shock-value; self-imposed isolation; seething in resentments and injustices; random sex or forced celibacy

Change this to nourishment: physical movement, like dance; writing down feelings; opening up to those around you to allow for trust and dialogue; examining negative cycles and feelings of betrayal to turn them in to positive growth; volunteer with hospice or with the sick/elderly/dying

9th house/Sagittarius

Addicted to/Distracting self by: strict dogma; forcing your ideas on others; joining a religious or philosophical group; being an ‘authority’ in a religious or academic setting; nihilism; travel without growth (think: vacations, travel for instagram photos)

Change this to nourishment: considering all points of view; being open to and studying many ideas; having friends around of many perspectives and faiths; choosing to be open rather than rigidly following one idea; allowing yourself grace to change your mind, or admit you were wrong, or to explore a taboo topic like the occult

10th house/Capricorn

Addicted to/Distracting self by: setting aside own needs for everyone else; taking on responsibilities despite self; needing everything to be ordered; ignoring moon needs emotions; working hard for other’s respect; feeling the need to achieve constantly

Change this to nourishment: change to an inner respect and foundation; working from enjoyment, not duty (or, if not for enjoyment, working for a fair wage and reasonable hours); taking time to access feelings; meditation and journaling; allowing relaxation time with baths or massage; take time and be proud of projects, but know worth doesn’t come from achievement

11th house/Aquarius

Addicted to/Distracting self by: joining a group just to feel like you belong to something; wallowing in self-pity or other self-focused emotions; trying hard to be different for the sake of being different (perhaps because of feeling rejected?)

Change this to nourishment: change this to knowing yourself as an individual, and the groups will come; take time to explore yourself and who you are, what is important to you, and what you like; be authentic and unashamed; support others and be kind

12th house/Pisces

Addicted to/Distracting self by: sacrifice, martyrdom, escapism, TV, poetry, imagination, fantasy

Change this to nourishment: connection to self, service not servant, meditation, daily practice/skill building, dance (something you can lose yourself in and then later reflect on it).

---

The source of the preceeding information is from my observations, from the book Asteroid Goddesses, sited above, and also from a Ceres seminar by Laura Nalbandian.

#astrology #astrologer #astrology art #ceres #demeter #persephone #witch #art witch #witchblr #pagan #art #illlustration #mine #artist #asteroid #divination #asteroid astrology #zodiac #womeninbusiness #valentines #loss #mother #centaurastrology #goddess #basic astrology #learn astrology #astro observations #personalized gifts #history #mythology

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Let’s talk about: The World of Original Content (Weverse Magazine)

by Admin 1

Don’t you just love it when stan twt in particular has a giant fight victimizing the members and claiming they hate things like RUN BTS only for BH/Weverse Magazine to come through and deliver them a bitter wake up call? Because I sure do, which made reading this new article even more curious than the subject matter already is.

For those who might be intimidated by the length of the article (though I guess you wouldn’t be reading our posts in that case either), the basic gist is a discussion and exploration of how shows like RUN BTS or In the SOOP (or GOING SEVENTEEN used as comparative example) are so successful due to the fact that they give the members a place to participate in a variety show type program in an environment where they feel safe and also actively can add input to the actual things happening in the show, as well as how all this additional video content offers not only a great way for the idols to connect with fans but also to showcase different things about themselves, or even a form of self-presentation as was said about SEVENTEEN content. 

Since their start 10 years ago in 2011 until they were named the most mentioned account in the world on Twitter and through to today as the most talked-about K-pop artist, BTS have released more than 12,400 videos and related media. Their YouTube channel, BANGTANTV, has secured 43.4 million subscribers and its videos more than 8.1 billion views cumulatively since its launch in 2012, and has 1,398 videos in its archive as of January 15. BTS have posted more than 590 videos to their V LIVE channel over the past five years, and in June of last year became the first in V LIVE history to surpass 20 million followers. These self-produced videos contain the artists’ histories as well as their messages to and joy for their fanbases, and this original content serves as an opportunity to reach out to even more people thanks to increased follower and subscriber counts. 

Now those are some really interesting stats to take in, the numbers mind-blowing though in a sense not necessarily all that surprising. We’re talking about ARMY and eight years worth of content after all, but the fact that there is a lot of sincerity and a degree of genuine rawness to be found among all those videos certainly helps as well. Who doesn’t love Bangtan B*mbs showing the guys doing something fun together, like playing basket ball on the roof between filming the Black Swan MV or things like the short videos from their birthdays. Content like this is much easier to access (and free) than things like Bon Voyage and are a great “gateway drug”, so to speak, to fall even more in love with Bangtan. 

The animation dubbing, meanwhile, started with an idea from the members. “Having watched the members for so long, I was confident they would be good at voice acting,” said Bang. “They told each other they wanted to try dubbing something, so we got to work on the episode. Copyright on web-based shows is generally strict, but discussions with Disney went smoothly because it’s BTS.”

This part I find particularly interesting for two reason:

“(...) started with an idea from the members.” confirms yet again the fact that the members do get a say into what they would be interested in doing as part of RUN BTS, that it isn’t just them showing up on set and being forced to do things they don’t care about or have to make themselves pretend they’re enjoying, both things solo stans have claimed about basically each member. It’s the same thing we’ve even seen in episode 124 where the episode was centered around the members coming up with ideas of tasks for episodes with the members even going as far as saying they’d love to do something longer, something that takes up a longer period of time like learning an instrument or sport or even composing a song for RUN BTS. In that same episode we also got confirmation that previous episodes were based on ideas from Taehyung (retro village m*fia type game episodes) and Namjoon (mini game based episode with bottle flipping etc).

“(...) but discussions with Disney went smoothly because it’s BTS.” which honestly just feels like such a (extremely) justified flex, love it. If I were a company that’s usually strict with my copyrights, I’d beg BTS to take my stuff if it’s something that would make them love and they’d have fun with it, but that’s just me.

The last part of the article I’d like to touch upon is this one since, to me, it once again proves Bangtan’s sincerity in sharing certain things and moments with us out of their own free will and desire, instead of due to some skewed ulterior motivation reasoning which some like to project onto them. Of course someone could argue that they only did this to create a false feeling of connection and faux love between the artist and fan, but with that you’re not only doing yourself a disservice but also belittling the members autonomy, feelings and genuine gratitude and connection to us. Yes, they don’t know all of us and they never will because that’s not humanly possible, but BTS being where they are today is (in parts) thanks to their genuine connection to ARMY since even before debut.

When artists enjoy making their videos, they elicit a response from their fans, which in turn instills the artists with even more enthusiasm to make more content. BTS “told the producers they wanted to share with their fans a video they had of them all goofing around,” Bang said, which shows “how sincere their love for their fans is.” The video, in which the members check the Grammy Awards nominations together, was shot on November 25 after they all agreed to RM’s suggestion that they record important moments together and share them: “It would have been somewhat inappropriate to ask the members to film when the nominations were going to be announced so late at night,” Bang recalled, “but they eagerly pitched the idea first, and thanked the staff after they were done shooting.” It was “thanks to the members that I was able to capture that important moment,” Kim said, while noting that “the most important thing when producing content is the artist’s desire to connect with their fans.”

This is something they certainly didn't have to do, just like they didn’t share the Billboard Hot100 #1 night with us in such a way either, but the members knew just how grand and meaningful of a moment that Grammy nomination would be so they wanted to not only film it for themselves as a memory, but also to share it with us. Also this line is quite telling to me: “It would have been somewhat inappropriate to ask the members to film when the nominations were going to be announced so late at night,” Bang recalled”. While some claim awful things against BH, little things like this, to me, show that there are still boundaries that the staff and producers keep and won’t cross unless given explicit permission or receiving an explicit request to do so, like they did in this case. 

BH isn’t perfect by any means, they are a company after all (can we talk about the horrible shipping prices? And more general price tags on merchandise etc?) but at least when it comes to the treatment of their artists they seem leaps ahead of other agencies and BTS genuinely satisfied with working and being with them for more than a decade now, so as fan, who am I to judge that? Especially when we keep getting tiny pieces of “proof” that show that the members have good relationships with those they work with, some staff being already with them for years or even since the beginning, when Hoseok gets called “Hobi-nim” or “Hobi Hobi-nim” cutely by their stylists, when Tae’s bodyguard/manager gently fixes his hair when he notices Tae is still half asleep and his hair askew, or Seokjin sought “shelter” against one of their managers when he got shy at the airport a few years ago. 

The more fans can tell that the artists are having fun and feel safe, the happier they are to share the videos, and this can continue to spread outside the fandom, resulting in all sorts of related or derivative media referencing the original. 

Overall I’m really impressed with the level of journalism that the staff working on Weverse Magazine have exhibited so far. They could’ve just created fluff pieces with zero substance to them, wrote sugar sweet "articles” full of empty praise and phoned in the interviews with the members for the BE Comeback Interviews, but instead we got really interesting things instead, like their article about the Grammys or one of the first articles that highlighted the racism and gatekeeping BTS have experienced over the years abroad where they even called out some people by name which felt like the perfect (justified) power move. If you haven’t yet, I very much recommend looking through all the articles and interviews and giving them a read. It really is worth it and written in a language everyone regardless of their level of English can understand while staying interesting to read without appearing simplified or “dumbed down”. 

#bts #bangtan sonyeondan #weverse magazine #discussion

[akimmito]

Heroes are made by the path they choose

First | Prev | AO3 | Next

Master List

Chapter 19

Damian is not happy. Everyone has introduced themselves and it only remains for the two intruders to do so as well, he hopes they refuse to be part of this, but from Drake's enthusiasm, clearly his wishes will not be heard and the two vigilantes will be part of the MT in some way or other.

"Well, it seems serious..." Nightwing hesitates for a moment, but does it anyway, it's the first time that he gives his identity in this way, remembering that they don’t just give their identities, but the MT has trusted them and it seems that their Working method differs a lot from Batman's. "I'm Richard Grayson, you can call me Dick."

"Yeah, we're not doing that." Alix responds with an amused smile.

"So you're Tim, right?" Marinette asks Robin, who nods and removes his mask. "This will be easier then."

"Was the suit delay related to the MT?"

"Something like that." She answers vaguely, but it's Alix who breaks the mysterious air of the matter.

"Stealing museums is not something that is directly related to our vigilante jobs."

Dick looks in surprise between the pink haired girl and the bluenette, who just sighs. He's no stranger to robbery when necessary, just that they admit it so casually is disconcerting. Tim on the other hand, he knows that he will not be very comfortable with the information.

"Do you rob museums?" Tim asks a bit dubious, that's not something he would have expected considering his participation in similar cases taking down robberies and other similar crimes, he didn't think they would commit them.

"Oh yes, my next dream is to rob a Russian museum." Felix responds wryly, but takes his next sentence more seriously. "It's not something we do for pleasure. First we will explain what MT is and then you will understand better why we rob a museum… It will give me a headache."

"Security was dire for supposedly keeping such valuable objects." Damian scoffs, leaning back in his chair, not looking at his brothers. "I would have done a better job while I sleep."

Dick just looks at the boy curiously, did they take him with them? Surely he goes to school, right? Although it not was school day when they first met him and he was at the farmhouse, he's probably homeschooled alongside his monstrous dogs, you can still feel his paws on his face. He doesn't really know what to think of such a brilliant woman being a vigilante, although perhaps he's taking too much reference from Bruce and Oliver who are the complete opposite, he's not exactly a good reference himself either even though he's less grim than the original Batman.

Marie Lenoir and, in general, the majority in that room seem to her very healthy emotionally speaking or, at least, not constipated like him and all his brothers.

"We'll explain it in detail later. Chloe, can you start?

"Sure, Lenoir." She smiles as she calls her last name in her common haughty tone, which has become a way of joking between them. "For the public, the MT is the name of the vigilante organization and which is not related in any way to the heroes, which is not true. The MT is originally the group of heroes… turned into vigilantes to be able to investigate the whereabouts of the butterfly without raising suspicions."

"We haven't done very well, he's a slippery shit." Alix complains getting a little hit from Nathaniel.

"There are kids."

"I've heard worse things, Kurtzberg." Damian dismisses his concerns dismissively. Marinette just gives him a worried look, it's seen that he is holding back from saying something more offensive, he seems about to attack everyone and is worrying. He's been acting very defensive for a few days now.

"Stop saying my last name as if it were an insult."

"Then stop being an idiot, Kurtzberg."

Luka sighs, he's normally a very patient and understanding person, but everyone is a little nervous, easily excitable, they haven't been that nervous since God Shit and Not in Hell joined the team, due to the fact that one is a demon and the other a stranger to most except Marinette (and Felix apparently).

"Returning." Kagami is not willing to put up with everyone's way of acting, but she won't scold them either, surely Felix will have words with everyone and Marinette will take care of Damian. "We are the heroes, we all have magical knowledge and the MT is an organization destined to protect the Miraculous, the magical jewels that give us our powers. Our main mission is to recover the butterfly and watch over the other jewels, whether we have them in our possession or not. The museum robbery was the recovery of the Giraffe's Miraculous."

"Wow, what a good summary," Marc comments by how concise it was, his good humor is not overshadowed by the tension in the room.

"Mari-hime is the Great Guardian, the leader of the entire organization and the most important member of the TM. She is the only one who knows all the spells, potions and cares for jewels and Kwami."

“We don't all have an affinity for being full guardians, especially since we're too old to complete some parts of the training. We may not approve of the ways they did it back in the day, but it takes young spirits to mold compatibility with Guardian magic. Melody completed a large part of her training at the age of fourteen and later continued it with all the knowledge of the temple together with the assistance of some Kwami."

"So you're the heroes too? And they do double duty to keep the city safe… They've been fighting since they were fourteen… ”Marc interrupts Tim from his little review

"Marinette has been doing it since she was thirteen."

"You started alone, right?" Dick asks, he wants confirmation that she didn't have a mentor, but still can't imagine what it must have been like for her to be thrown into danger like that.

"Chat was there, but it was just us. It wasn't until sometime after that I met the Guardian, but it wasn't a guide as such… ”She says thoughtfully, remembering her beginnings as Ladybug. She didn't do her part either, she had settled into just fighting with the Akuma and hoping for some miracle that could reveal Hawkmoth's identity, along with many other things she regrets.

"It's still a great feat, I couldn't have." Tim admits, since he decided to become Robin only because he saw the need to be one to help Batman, otherwise it was not a battle worth fighting. "So what are the Miraculous?"

"Magic jewels connected to quasi-divine entities, they embody abstract concepts such as creation, destruction, emotions, etc. They are called Kwami, unfortunately the connection with the jewel makes them slaves of whoever owns it and it cannot be avoided that their powers are used for evil purposes if they fall into the wrong hands. "Marinette explains in the simplest way she can.” I have been investigating, but there is nothing in the Order's records of any way around control over the Kwami."

"And destroy the jewel?" Dick questions, it's something important if she is saying it, so it's better to understand, although the idea of ​​magic jewels sounds to him straight out of an anime.

"They agreed to anchor themselves to the jewels to be able to have contact with the world in a more personal way, it's what allows them to have a corporeal form and relate to the environment instead of just existing isolated ... The only thing that can have contact with the world material are their powers, but they as an entity are not. At first they considered it a small price for the opportunity to live with their creations, but the slavery that it brought with it was a long-term impediment ... In any case, only the power of Plagg can destroy the jewels, but for magical reasons he cannot do the same with his own jewel."

"Silly if you ask us," Chloe complains. They actually read the temple books, the ones God Shit recommended to them and even Alix traveled with Fluff's help to different times to discover secrets that might have been lost, but nothing in relation to magical slavery, although they didn't go as far as to meet the magician who created the Miraculous, they feel that it's not advisable to do that.

"Maybe we should blackmail Luci into seeing if he knows anything…" Nathaniel mutters, earning a snort from Marc.

------

John: I'll arrive in Paris tomorrow, I found some old books that mention the Kwami

John: I think you will like them, they could help us with our research

John: I also bring a gift for your son

John: I don't know if he mentioned it

John: [Photo attached]

Marie: Where will I put that?!

Marie: John!

John: He didn't mention it to you. Well it's a peace offering

Marie: It's very sweet of you, but I also didn't know that you guys have been talking.

John: I knew he wouldn't tell you anything, the little monster.

John: I guess you don't know who came here either, right?

Marie: No! No wonder he acted so strange, he felt guilty. I can not believe it

Marie: I can't be angry either

John: Why should you? He's taking care of you and, for now, it's the only way he knows

John: It will get better, you have that effect on people

Marie: You’re sweet

------

The meeting continues in an uncomfortable environment, if someone hints that they are fully functional adults, anyone in the room would quickly tell them they are wrong. Against their better judgment, neither knows how to proceed. It's usually Marinette who knows what to do, but neither she nor Felix are entirely sure how to proceed from there.

"So… we all agree that we shouldn't say anything to the other Batman?" Nathaniel breaks the ice, looking doubtfully at everyone.

They're a bunch of awkward adults, that's for sure.

"That is obvious, Kurtzberg. The important thing about this ridiculous meeting is to know if they are useful for our interests. So, speak up, what can you bring to this partnership? We are giving them access to one of the greatest secrets in the world, an immediate support team and, above all, a network of reliable contacts around the world. ”Damian folds his arms and looks down at his two older brothers.

Dick looks up to see the boy, who seems very confident in his words and, despite various expressions to the boy's words, cannot say that he's being arrogant about it. Tim is the one answering.

"I offer myself. I've been designing tech updates for Batman, but there are some devices that would fit his surveillance better than ours. "He starts going through his files and Marinette gets up to hand him one of the computers Max uses for data presentation, which are designed to withstand the information traffic that they usually handle in most of their cases. "Oh thanks."

She sits back and watches him set up his own technology with Max's, feeling very excited by the clear differences and surprised when Markov makes an appearance.

"Who you are?"

"Markov, that's Timothy Drake. Let him play on the computer, he wants to show us something. "

"Okay, I thought someone had got hold of some piece of technology. I'll let Dima supervise it."

Dick watches in surprise as the settings return to normal and the screen returns to the files Tim was manipulating in order to present them to others.

"Was that an AI?" Richard questions.

"The question is stupid, obviously it was."

"Damian." Marinette places a hand on her son's head and gives him a firm little look, silently asking him to avoid attacking his apparent paternal family. "That was Markov, the artificial intelligence designed by Max, he's a great ally in research because of his ease of hacking without being detected. He's joined by Dima, the one in charge of guarding the complex and taking care of the Kwami that rest in the box."

"Does he have emotions? That's great. Wait... did you say Max? Max Kanté?"

"The only one" Max walks in just then, grabbing his own laptop and picking an empty seat at random. Tim just stares with his mouth open.

How not meet the genius who designed a robot capable of feeling emotions at thirteen? The guy is quite a celebrity in the scientific world! He founded KanTech at the age of eighteen and is currently a major multi-branch business rival to Wayne Enterprise. In a way, that he's the one designing the MT technology makes perfect sense.

"I don't want to interrupt, but there is an Akuma."

The MT, in a synchronized way, complains in its own way. Damian insults the man behind the mask, Felix complains about it being night, Chloe exclaims about the bad time to do it, Kagami mutters how annoyed it is, Nathaniel is just a long wail with a comforting whisper from Marc.

"Hurry up, let's see what he has prepared for us this time. Team, Kagami, Chloe, Felix and I will go. The others, wait to be called."Those mentioned stand up just in time for the Kwami to appear, which is Pollen hands the comb to its owner, while Wyazz nods to the blonde who is taking off his jacket and gloves to reveal the miracle bracelet.

Marinette also removes the glove where the ring is hidden. The four of them transform in front of the foreign vigilantes, surprising them by seeing the transformation.

In front of him were no longer the vigilantes but the heroes of Paris.

#maribat #dickinette #dick x marinette #mominette

[chiimmchiimm]

❝𝓰𝓸𝓸𝓭 𝓭𝓮𝓬𝓲𝓼𝓲𝓸𝓷 !¡ 𝓳𝓳𝓴❞

The enemy of your enemy is your friend and that for Lexa was the most important thing. So, when Commander Jungkook made her an offer, she couldn't refuse.

𝒫𝒶𝒾𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔: Jungkook x (femile: Lexa).

𝒢𝑒𝓃𝓇𝑒:  smut, fluff, angst, one-shot.

𝒲𝑜𝓇𝒹𝓈: 26 k

𝑅𝒶𝓃𝓆𝓊𝒾𝓃𝑔:  +18  

𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔:   dirty vocabulary, explicit language, feeling of loss, burials, treatment by duty, commander duties, sexual attraction, love at first sight without knowing and knowing it, violent scenes, blood, very sexy scar, fights, jealousy, many unjustified jealousy of best friend, Jk is a love, enemies, intimidation, excessive harassment that ends in violence, aggressive situations, mention of death of secondary characters, dirt on the field, hormones, unprotected sex (use the gum for god xd), kisses with tongue, rough sex, woman fingering, creampie, loss of virginity, standing female oral, scratches on her back, spectacular body, big cock, abs out of this world.

𝒜𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇’𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝑒: I want to thank you, wonderful readers, for giving love to history. As a reward I made it much longer. Without more to say to enjoy! 

𝓥𝓸𝓬𝓪𝓫𝓾𝓵𝓪𝓻𝔂:  

✚ Heda*   → commander. (WanHeda*    → Commander of death) 

(FireHeda*   → Fire commander)

✚ Ste yuj.* → stay strong.

✚ Yu gonplei ste odon* → your fight is over. 

✚ Jus drein jus daun*  →  Blood must have blood.

✚ Shof op*   → Shut up!

✚ Dann*  → death 

✚ Leidon*     → Bye.

✚ Ge smak daun, gyon op nodotaim*  → If you fall, you get up.

✚ Ai hod yu in*   → I love you.

The green forest on the slopes of Cóndor was the place with the greatest host of species on the entire land surface. The savages lived on their land, warriors divided into clans who fought for a prosperous life. During the harsh winter, the snow was stained with blood as it witnessed the brutality of the war. One hundred years after the first peace treaty the slopes lay more uneasy than ever. The beings that inhabited the forest knew what would come so they fled to save their lives.

Food began to become scarce, people began to suffer from severe malnutrition that led to death. After the border pact, each clan decided to relate the territories to manage food. With the mountain warriors remaining at the peak of the sierra, the Iron Legion to the east, and the heavenly clan to the south. Each of them had a Heda *, a commander who watched over the safety of his people.

Over the years, the generations were changing. The Hedas had children who in turn had children. This is how little by little each clan was taking its place on earth. The offspring ensured the clan's legacy. They must be the strongest, the most cunning.

But sadly not everyone was equally obedient.

"I see you," Lexa murmured in a low voice so as not to alarm the large prey that lurked. Her feet were firmly on the ground as she slowly made her way toward the large deer eating. In complete silence, she reached behind to reach an arrow to pass it through the bow. She kept her breathing calm as she had been taught. Her whole being blends so well with the forest that they seemed like one. She braced herself, pointed her bow at the deer. With one eye closed and the lip brushing the tip of the arrow. Her father would be proud if she returned to the camp with such a copy. She was certain that he would overlook her continued acts of rebellion.

However, luck was not with her that day.

Branches creaked behind her, drawing the deer's attention, causing her to run away to take refuge in the brush, making it impossible to be captured. Lexa turned on her heel with the agility of a lion to take aim at the intruder when she saw the boy appear among the trees under the gun immediately as she sighed annoyed.

“I could have killed you piece of asshole!” I exhale furiously as I hit the wood of the bow against her thigh for helplessness. Suho completely came out of her hiding place with some red on her cheeks.

"My duty as a protector is to ensure your safety," Suho completed with frustration. Her brows furrowed and her arms crossed tightly just above her toned chest.

"Apprentice of protector." And I'm not a commander yet, besides, your stupid clumsiness has made me lose my prey.

"You shouldn't go out hunting the ...

"Yes, yes, those from the mountain are close and could attack blah, blah, blah ..."

"Alexa, it's not a joke they could really kidnap you to torture you and then kill you."

"I know," he snorted. She was fully and plainly aware that the threat from the mountain tribe was real, but she couldn't stay locked up at home with her mother. Less when she got up and saw how the bright sun invited her to go out and explore the forest. Suho's words declined her mood for a few minutes. "I just wanted a little time alone to think nothing more ...

"We should go back, it will be dark soon and the forest is not safe at night," Suho advised, stepping aside so that Lexa was first. The girl nodded resignedly. Time flew by whenever he went hunting. Since her father wouldn't let her go out alone, she hardly ever, really, ever, used to be accompanied by Suho. A strange but very skilled boy whose primary function was to control even his own shadow. Over time she ended up getting used to her company, forging a small friendship that flourished over the years. Now he was her best friend. Your confidant. It's all.

But that did not remove the fact that she was too strict on issues related to her protection and security.

Sometimes she just wanted to leave. Runaway where no one will find her to live the life she chose to live, not the one others decided to live. She was not unhappy, of course not. She lived a life full of joy and love within her clan. But the whole problem centers on her father not believing her. Since she was little she learned to fight, to hunt, to do any task to be a good leader. But her mistrust placed a big blindfold on her eyes.

I was willing to show her how much she was worth.

[...]

She bit into her apple slowly to focus all her energy on the small group of novice soldiers who had gathered in front of the door of the wall. She had learned from Suho's carelessness that the Heda* took these inexperienced children to the riverside training area for routine training. Actually, she was not very curious about these types of activities, since she always followed the same routine. However, for some strange reason, she felt she should go. I did not know, I did not know it. She just followed her instinct.

They soon set out on their way, going Lexa a few meters behind so as not to be seen by her father and win a fight. Although she had tried to be calm before the threat of the mountain soldiers, she knew him like the back of her hand, she knew that Heda was not so calm and that in fact, his insistence that he would not leave the camp had increased since that Suho had come up with the brilliant idea to tell him about the episode in the forest.

When the group stopped, she decided to hide among the trees to see from a distance. Heda kept her arms glued to each end of her hip as she ran those teenagers with her typical leader's gaze.

"When the alpha team crosses the white line of the tree the beta team ..." Heda began before her daughter deftly interrupted by reciting the words from memory.

"They camouflaged themselves between the sheets to cover them."

“Well then...”

"The archers will go behind to secure the air." The fluidity of their talk was a reflection of all those sleepless nights as she was studying her father's strategy books. She did not know but had stolen them from her cabin when she was marching on reconnaissance missions. She knew that stealing the material could cause her a terrible headache, but she decided to take the risk because she knew that her father would not teach her feats in combat on her own initiative.

"Okay, get ready. This may be a drill, but the threat is real.

“What was that, Commander?” Asked a short boy with barely a gram of fat on his body. The leaves of the trees began to shake mischievously creating a rather striking sound. The humid air that covered the environment gave the premonition that it will rain soon. The children beside him began to mumble in fear as they trembled from head to foot. Heda applauded loudly to silence the scandal.

"It was the wind that anticipates tonight's storm." The commander's words reassured the children, although there were still some who continued to wave their weak arms. Without further ado, the two teams split as Heda had explained. Lexa raised a skeptical eyebrow at the children's inaccuracy when placing herself. The posture of the body was very important since it depended on it that the movement to be executed was launched accurately. They did not put the back straight and the shoulders separated as it should be, but on the contrary, they could not shrink their bodies more by bending their backs in such a way that still from their position I could see the body. She denied with a curse in her mouth as the children began to move forward creating too much noise when crawling. The dry leaves creaked, and soon a white smoke began to form above their heads from the stirred earth.

Lexa dropped her body to rest her back. She crossed one leg with the other and then did the same with her arms. Suddenly, a rather annoying light began to blur the view. She put her hand in front to cover the thread of the sun. She followed the path of annoyance until she came across a hill.

Quite suspicious cracking sounds started at the top of the mountain. When Lexa looked in his direction her eyes widened in surprise.

“Wild!” The boy's scream alerted the rest of the group. Heda glanced at the hill across the river just following the direction a boy was pointing. Her skin turned white instantly when she saw a group of twenty people slide down the slope. Then she turned to the scared, runny children.

"Roi take them back to camp!" The rest with me we can not let pass!

The sunny one nodded at her order, shouting nervously at the children to follow her and not look back. Lexa saw it necessary to get out of her hiding place to run to help her father. When she saw her daughter appear the first thing she did was frown in annoyance.

“Save the sermon for when they're not attacking us!” Lexa shouted, upset by the soldiers' shouts of struggle as they rushed forward. She reached for her backpack to grab a pair of arrows. She aimed at one in the leg, causing her to fall on her face, taking two more with her. The strength of her enemy was more capable than she thought. It was about fifty now that he had them closer. I glance quickly, closing my eyes in frustration when she barely realized it was just five soldiers without counting her father and herself. She knew they weren't enough that no matter how adept the enemy's strength was, it was far greater.

Even so, she would give even the air that was missing in her lungs so as not to let that strategic position fall into the hands of the mountain clan. Stunned by the imminent approach of his enemy, the Heda screamed at the top of their lungs that they took cover behind some trees.

The rough wood received Lexa's back as she abruptly leaned back. The hair in a ponytail stuck to her forehead from the sweat accumulated by so much stress. She breathed with her mouth open even though she knew she shouldn't waste oxygen.

She turned to her right, meeting two soldiers sheltered behind a huge rock. One of them had an arrow stuck in his thigh where a lot of blood was coming out. The other seemed almost dead, collapsed on the ground.

Overcome by courage, she comes out of hiding for a moment to shoot an arrow. She returns to her place with her eyes closed and her chest restless. The situation is so overwhelming that he cannot avoid hitting a huge stomp on the ground accompanied by a blow with a closed fist against the bark.

"Lexa." When she hears her father's weak voice she immediately looks for her position. She is relieved to see that she was not wounded like her soldiers. Although he seemed equally or more overwhelmed than her, his composure remained firm. It was totally admirable to see how cold it was in a situation like these. "Do you remember the trees that guard the bridge?"

"The red oaks."

"Those," her father agreed enthusiastically for her knowledge of the subject. Lexa hears screams near her position, wrinkles her nose furiously, and shoots an arrow that fits right into the hollow of her heart. Then she looks back at her father with interest.

"There are two standards of fire above the bridge. If you manage to fire at that fire, you will give us the time we need."

"I will, father."

"We will cover her." Two voices spoke from behind them from the two wounded soldiers. Lexa nodded confidently before gripping the mast of her bow tightly.

"Lexa." She looked at him again this time with caution. Her father's eyes shone with more than fury, they processed fear but at the same time security. Lexa knew in that instant that everything depended on her and she would not disappoint them. "Show them that you are not only the best archer but you are the best daughter they will ever have." Ste yuj. *

"This yuj. *" He repeated with all the feeling in the world. She puffed into the air, fixed her target intently, and started running toward her. She had only a few minutes to reach her goal or else it would be over. Her legs ached from the effort but that did not stop her from running. Upon reaching a standard she tore her sleeve with her teeth to wrap the fabric at the tip. She glanced back, meeting the soldiers and her father trying to endorse the enemy. His chest clenched when one of his friends fell to the ground for a date on his chest. She returned to her task with tear-filled eyes. This was not the time to cry. It had to be strong. She tried to be with all her soul. When the cloth was finally wrapped he carefully carried it toward the fire. With the flame lit, he stretched out his arm toward the oaks, remembering the exact spot where the powder was camouflaged. She closed one eye to sharpen the precision and stopped breathing. An arrow brushed her arm causing her to lose focus and she could see that there were three men running towards her with war cries. She was forced to retreat to protect herself behind the standard.

“Fuck!” Lexa moaned frustrated. She placed the arrow between her teeth and started running towards the oaks. When she was close enough to shoot, she tried again, being interrupted by the same party of men. The arrow painfully brushed her arm causing it to fall to the ground. The arrow holding her lips inevitably fell beside her. His good arm-hand wrapped his fingers around her. She got to her knees feeling the stones dig into her skin. She groaned in pain. The earth had mixed with sweat and blood. His eyesight had begun to tremble from the venom of the wound. Taking one last scream of breath, she closed her eye and shot at the oaks.

The fiery arrow impacted a perfect movement in the network of powder boxes. Immediately everything exploded creating a great avalanche of huge rocks that crushed anyone who was standing in their way down. Lexa was pushed by the explosion force. Her body rolled until she fell into the stream, which fortunately lay almost without water. With narrowed eyes she brought her palm to the wound on her arm and then brought it to her eyes, affirming her suspicion when she saw the black blood that the arrow was poisoned. Her limbs felt heavy, her hand fell to the ground almost immediately. I hear hasty footsteps heading towards her. He turned his neck to meet one of the men who was chasing him, heard how he laughed evilly at seeing her so helpless. The man threw the bow aside, seeing as the best option to remove her small knife from her belt. Lexa tried to get up but her body did not respond. As she had predicted, it was not a deadly poison but a paralyzing one.

Suddenly time began to run too slow. Just before the man reached where she lay defeated, a blue arrow pierced her chest causing her to gasp out of breath before falling forward. Lexa tried to stay awake but the tiredness had added to the terrible effect of the poison. Her eyes slowly closed. The last thing she was aware of before she fell into deep darkness was that something was lifting her along with the scent of honey.

[...]

“But what?” The whole room was spinning when she had enough strength to open her eyes. It took her a few minutes to get used to the red light in the cabin. Her palms brushed the comfort of the soft surface of a bed. When she was aware of all the above, she got up exalted. I gulp out of necessity as I anxiously traveled every inch of the room. Recognizing her cabin, she sighed with relief. As she looked down at her body, she managed to see a great revenge wrap around her wounded arm. She put a hand to her head as she placed her feet on the ground.

As she left the cabin, chaos engulfed her in the worst way. Screams of pain. Begging groans. To her relief, all the few soldiers who had fought with her father had survived, were wounded but alive. Remembering the image of her father, she walked the pile of wounded. When I couldn't find it, she started to worry. As she could, she set her feet toward the Seokjin hut, the chief healer of her clan. When she was about to enter her cabin he himself came out with a serious face that ended up scaring her. He held in his hands a white cloth stained with blood that helped him to clean himself.

“Jin what?” His questioning ended completely when his mother came out from behind him crying.

"I've done what I could, I'm sorry," said the curandero under his breath before heading towards the pile of patients. His mother watched Lexa with dead eyes. It was there that the young girl's heart was completely paralyzed.

[...]

She closed her eyes tightly to hold back the tears that threatened to come out. It was not good to be seen so openly. But it was so difficult. So difficult when her father's body lay on that pile of wood. Her heart ached to the point of not knowing if it was still beating from her weak heartbeat.

Unfortunately, her father was not the only one buried that night. Luckily for Lexa, eyes would not be on her now that the Heda was dead. I knew that later they will ask for answers but now I just didn't want to give them. She needed time to assimilate everything that had happened. Everything.

She ended up sticking out slightly as a warm hand wrapped around hers. Turning her head, she met her mother's grief-stricken smile. With her other hand, she offered her the burning stick that would burn the remains of her father and the other soldier.

"Yu gonplei ste odon *," Lexa murmured weakly. With all the pain of her broken soul, she threw the stick lighting the wood in seconds. Her mother covered her mouth with her palm to silence the sobs. Lexa simply watched as the fire created the smoke that transformed her father into the air.

[...]

She had decided to withdraw before becoming the question center. She was resting her palms on her desk with a lost gaze. Her shrugged shoulders were the living image of pain. The feeling of pain in her chest would take time to fade. Which made her wonder if she really wanted me to.

"You must follow your father's legacy." Her mother's muffled voice was heard after the movement of the cabin door.

"I don't want to talk about this now." Her voice sounded dark, sorer than ever.

"Lexa," her mother warned, approaching her daughter carefully so as not to disturb her loneliness too soon. The diadem that her mother held in her hands was what most caught her attention. "You have to wear this to ..."

"Don't ask me to use this when my father's body is still warm!" She roared loudly, grabbing the chair and knocking it to the ground, scaring her mother.

"Lexa listen to me!" The clan needs a boss. Someone who will give you security and peace.

"Don't you understand that putting that on means accepting that he's gone?" I bow my head again. She let out a piercing scream impossible to contain. She was tired of growing strong in front of people. I couldn't do it anymore. Her mother reached out to hold her in her arms. Lexa's hands were trapped on her mother's chest, simulating the gestures she gave him when something disturbed her in her childhood.

"It is your duty." her mother whispered softly in her ear knowing that the ancient language could reassure her. The little saying made him clench his fist and crinkle his clothes.

[...]

She had not slept all night. Her mother had stayed with her holding her, stroking her head from time to time so that she knew she was there, that she was not alone. At dawn he had decided to leave, leaving his mother to recover the hours of sleep that she had stolen from him.

The forest birds had stopped singing as if mourning for the dead. The roar of the forest had diminished her strength almost as much as her body movement. Getting back there after a week had been more than difficult. Probably the stupidest decision he had ever made. But I needed answers. According to Jin, the soldiers had found her on a road near the camp and not in the river where her body fell.

She decided to focus her gaze on the ground so as not to look at the mess of blood-stained rocks. Enough memories of death in your dreams.

When she got to where she thought she remembered landing, she was surprised when she recognized from a distance the lifeless body of the man who tried to kill her. Now, with her newly recovered mental abilities, she could better see the arrow stuck in her back.

A splash of water turned her stomach in such a panic that she gripped his sword tightly before aiming at whatever was behind her.

“It's me!” The man shouted desperately with his hands up as a symbol of surrender.

"Suho could have killed you!" Lexa threatened rather annoyed by her appearance. She put the sword back in its holster without taking her disappointed gaze from her friend.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to accompany you, it's not good that you're alone right now."His reasons were disdainfully stated as she just approached crossing a small puddled area. —Why did you come to the river?

"You see that man over there?" Lexa pointed with his head making Suho follow her, ending up surprised. "He tried to kill me and someone stopped him."

"A soldier of ours?"

"No, I would swear not." He deepened with doubt as he approached the lifeless body. She bent down and when she was at the perfect height she took out the arrow. He brought the tip to the river to remove it from the blood. "It is an iron arrow." She spoke surprised, slightly opening her mouth.

"But that cannot be we have been at war with your tribe for hundreds of generations." Why would they help you?

"I don't know, but I'm going to find out."

[...]

"Heda, I know that the death of Commander Hyun is present but we must make a decision regarding the attack of the Highlanders." One of the advisers asked furiously causing the rest to rise up carrying the cry to heaven.

"Yes!"

"My son was there!"

"Mine too!"

"Revenge!"

"Shop op! *" Lexa demanded with authority, rising from her seat with force. The councilors stopped raising the scandal by lowering their heads in regret when Lexa's piercing gaze corrected them.

"We have all lost loved ones in that battle." Raising another dispute when our people are barely recovering is not a good idea.

"The commander is right." We can't start a war, it would be stupid to do it when we are weaker than ever. ”Suho leaned in beside her. Lexa immediately looked at him gratefully with a small smile.

“And what are we going to do?” Another counselor asked desperately. Lexa recognized him as the father of one of those who were injured.

"We can't just do nothing while they breathe in the oxygen that our children should have breathed," said another counselor, but with an air of revenge hidden in his calm tone.

"Revenge will come, I swear." My father's death will be paid for with the blood of his executioner. Jus drein jus daun * - she exalted with fury nailed to the pressure of her teeth. Her nostrils ended up dilating when the image of her father returned to her memory.

"What shall we do while we wait?"

"Find allies." Lexa reacted slowly.

"Where?"

"In the iron soldiers," Lexa said cautiously, knowing that the news would not be a good dish.

As predicted by the councilors, the scandal of screaming and wailing began again. Lexa returned to her seat, her eyes sharp in her reactions.

“No!” A veteran counselor yelled.

"They are worse than the mountaineers have been in permanent war for years!" I finish lamenting another.

"We have a common enemy," Lexa interrupted causing everyone to shut up again. Not wanting to go into detail, she knew that silence could be interpreted as acceptance. The councilors looked at each other with wide eyes having everything that would happen next. "Sohu, prepare three horses." We will leave at dawn to the iron village."

[...]

"But three horses?" Her mother asked fearfully as she tried to follow Lexa's hurried steps on her way to the entrance of the camp. Of course, she knew that her mother would oppose what she did not know was that Lexa had already made a decision and that she would not change her mind.

"Mom, it will be fine," Lexa assured, climbing nimbly on her dark brown horse. She gripped the reins tightly, then led the horse out of the camp. The animal meekly followed her request.

"You must take more protection, those savages are inhuman." Her mother commented too shakily. Lexa smiled faintly as she remembered the iron arrow in the river.

"You'd be surprised to know that not everything bad is always bad," was the last thing she said before shaking the reins of her horse and completely leaving the camp.

[...]

Fortunately, the path to the Iron Clan Village was not far from their encampment. In just three hours they galloped to the borders. It had been a good idea to leave early so they would not return at night being aware that the attack by the mountain tribe was still very recent.

As his ingenious thought predicted, they soon came across soldiers from the Iron Village who will try to stop their advance. He was aware that what had happened in the river had probably reached the Iron Clan and that they had reinforced their vigilance. It is for this reason that he only decided to take three soldiers so that they did not see his arrival as a surprise attack.

“Who's going?” A muscular and built soldier roared forcefully. Despite not having a great height, he was in front of the two soldiers who accompanied him, so Lexa deduced that he was his superior.

"I am Lexa Skycru, the new commander of the celestial people." And I come because I want to speak to your commander. — she spoke with the same force as the soldier so that she could see that she was not afraid. The soldier, a blond man with small eyes and prominent lips, analyzed his horse from top to bottom and then his two soldiers and Suho before observing his own and finally nodding slowly.

[...]

"Sorry but no weapons allowed." The blond man said kindly as he pointed with his finger at the sword tucked in his belt. He noticed how Suho tensed from head to toe when I looked askance at him. Lexa nodded, then began to strip off her weapons one by one and place them in a wooden box. When she was finally clean the blonde nodded and opened the door.

A firm hand on her wrist held her back.

"I'm out here," Suho muttered to Lexa. He was careful to speak slowly and fluently so that she understood his message. When Lexa nodded to reassure him he finally released her.

As soon as she entered, she found a row of seats occupied by men who looked down on her as she advanced. Glancing ahead, she found a tall, strong man playing with a knife.

“You the one who killed thirty mountain warriors with a single arrow?” Her skin bristled as the man used a dominant low tone to address her. He wasn't looking at her but that didn't stop him from knowing that with his eyes he could melt anyone. To her surprise, the man had her eye area covered in black ink typical of a soldier ready for combat. The red stone pasted on his forehead confirmed his identity.

"I did my best to protect mine." I wasn't sure why I was reacting defensively. She only had the need to explain that what happened was not for the mere pleasure of killing but for an unselected need.

Her words evoked curiosity, she directed her gaze towards Lexa, keeping her still, that despite the black paint in her eyes, she managed to see from afar some deep eyes that could read thoughts. As if her comment had caused him any amusement, he cocked an arrogant smile as he stabbed the knife into the back of his large chair.

“What are you doing here Lexa Skycru of the celestial town?” She asked again with that finishing tone that left her brain without connections for a brief moment.

"I can help you beat the Men of the Mountain." She started with what she had come to say by making the Heda increase her ego smile. Her advisers began to mumble nonsense, but that didn't stop her or cut her eye contact with him. "The only way to protect our people is if we unite."

"I'm still waiting for a proposal, princess." The commander threw with mocking daggers causing his allies to start laughing at her.

Lexa clenched her fists tightly to calm herself even knowing that the urge to punch her would soon outweigh that of standing still.

"We have more gold than you can imagine."

“What makes you think I need gold?” She slowly lifted her body from the wooden throne without taking off losing eye contact to load the tension situation. The Heda raised an eyebrow as he approached slowly. "I have everything I need."

"As much as he has a person, he always wants something more." It was not difficult for Lexa to think like this due to the constant discussions her father had had with one of the advisers on greed issues. They were almost always due to the extreme desire to seize someone else's land. Even with everything, they wanted more and she was sure that the man before her would not deny that theory.

"Well ..." He stretched the word creating a silence in the room that caused Lexa's heart to stop when perceiving how Heda's eyes traveled up and down her small body. "... yes, there is something that does not I have and I would like to have.

[...]

She left the cabin looking blank. Suho, true to her word, had waited in front of the horses with her bow and sword in hand. Seeing her approach, he straightened up worried. It was not long before her eyes caught the man outside the cabin watching Lexa's departure. Suho closed his eyes to the stranger who for some strange reason did not give him a good feeling. He did not like the arrogant smile on his mouth, much less that he did not stop looking at Lexa as if his visit had caused him too much satisfaction.

When Lexa reached her side, Suho returned the weapons, which she began to put in place immediately.

Seeing her head down speechless Suho bowed his head sadly.

"You're good?"

"Not now, Suho." Let's just go.-she asked quite urgently. She mounted her horse quickly causing Suho and the other two to imitate her gesture. As the last action, Lexa squinted at the hut, made brief eye contact with the Heda again before leaving with her horse.

[...]

Jeon Jungkook. The Heda of the Iron Legion.

She couldn't get that name out of her head. Now much less. Since her arrival, she had been harassed with many questions from the council, from the soldiers, but especially the most exhaustive were those of her mother. She had not wanted to answer, did not see the situation as adequate. She decided that the news of the inter-tribal union would come later when it became formal. It wouldn't reveal something when it might not happen in the future. Actually, I still hoped it didn't happen.

"You didn't want to explain it to anyone, but I know it will be different with me." Her friend Suho's safety was perhaps the one that woke her up from her isolation from the outside world. The man approached with her typical persuasive smile. Lexa wanted to smile but could only wince.

"It's complicated, Suho. If I'm honest with you, I don't know what has happened or what will happen." Lexa confessed dubiously, drawing the attention of her friend who began to worry when the girl hid her head in the hollow of her legs.

"Has she done something to you?" Something changed within her when she thought that this proud commander stained her honor. Or worse ... She dared to touch you!

"No," Lexa denied, offended by her projected attack, so inappropriate and unnecessary. Lexa sighed when she was overcome by the situation. It was the first time that I didn't know how to solve any problem. Suho kept her eyes open with a wrinkled nose as she breathed hard through her mouth until Lexa dismissed her thought. Afterward, she relaxed but was not entirely calm. "Actually, he's been ... generous, so to speak."

"Have you accepted the gold?" After speaking, Suho noticed how Lexa's spirits fell even further. She slowly denied it.

"So what did she ask you ..."

"For me ..." He swallowed, continues. "... He wants me to be his wife."

"Than!" I could have sworn that Suho's anguished roar echoed throughout the forest. She approached a rock. She picked it up and then threw it against a tree causing a terrifying crunch as a pile of leaves fell to the ground. She seemed to be gone, more than that, her bloodshot eyes begging for Jungkook's head. When he finished expressing his anger, he turned to Lexa, who was still in her hunched position. "Did you refuse?"

"I can not do it..."

"Shit!" This time she screamed again, scaring Lexa at seeing her so out of control. He wanted to return, he wanted to have entered with her, to have accompanied her. She knew that she shouldn't have been taking care of the horses that should have been by her side to avoid these things. He felt a great avalanche of contrary feelings, he had a lot of furies that activated him violently, but he also had a lot of guilt for not having done the only thing he should do.

Protect it.

"It has been a good counteroffer that has ensured the protection of my people and Ronald's head," I yell desperately with a lump in my throat that makes it difficult to stabilize his tone.

"But are you listening to yourself?" Suho intervened hysterically. He put his hands to his head and ruffled his hair. "You can not do it ...

-It is my duty.

"Since when the fucking duty of a Heda is ... Damn!" Other than if he started walking in circles. He tried to calm down, but the image of Jungkook smiling lit the fuse again. He knew from the moment he saw that arrogant attitude that something had happened that he never imagined was this. She could not marry him. I couldn't when she ...

"What about you, what do you really want?"

"What I want doesn't matter."

"No, Lexa! It does matter! Yes ..." Lexa suddenly lowered her gaze to Sohu to find her gaze fixed on the ground and with the reflection of a tear on her cheek. "You can not do this ...

You cannot do this to yourself.

"A good leader has to think of others." And for better or for worse, it is my last word on the subject.

“Lexa!” Even though She's screams were heartbreaking, she forced herself to continue on her way to her cabin, leaving aside the river of tears that fell down her cheeks.

[...]

"Put your signature here to finish the process," explained the counselor, annoyed at his lateness. It had been on purpose. The longer it delayed the union the better. He looked at the opaque paper carefully. The feather had begun to dance on his fingers in sweat. He pursed his lips. I swallow deeply. He hadn't even dressed appropriately for the occasion. Certainly, she had never wasted time thinking about what her perfect wedding would be like but she knew that it was far from being it.

The pen hesitated in her hands. The first to sign had been Jungkook. To her surprise, she didn't seem to have much doubt installed on her face. Virtually the ink ran down the paper for his surprising interest.

Was I doing the right thing?

What if Sohu was right?

You don't even want to imagine how you will be when you find out that you have married Jungkook. Of course, the council was not far from being horrified, but he cared little for the opinion of four insufferable old men. He reminded himself that it was the best option. Jungkook put at his disposal an army ready to follow his orders and a promise to finish off the mastermind of his father's death. And you would have just that with just one signature. Looking at it from another perspective, actually, the loser was Jungkook. But from his, of course, that she lost much more.

I rest the tip of the pen on the paper, it did not move. Jungkook looked at her seriously. He knew that he doubted and for some strange reason his doubt made him think for a brief second.

"Congratulations." The tired counselor finished when, after an eternal wait, Lexa finally drew her signature on the paper. Jungkook smirked at the man before he left the hut leaving them alone.

"Why don't we go to my cabin?" We have to adjust a few things. ”She didn't even look at him, just nodded too lost to make the connections necessary to speak.

[...]

"Tomorrow I will send a pair of warriors to guard the wall of your camp," Jungkook commented as he entered his cabin. Lexa passed under it as Jungkook held it with his eyes. "Don't do it again if you want to keep your hand."

“You're my wife, get used to being touched!” He returned forcefully, approaching her to keep his gaze just as wild. A roar came from inside her chest when she was so rejected.

“I will have the title of your wife but I am not your wife!” He swept her body with a contemptuous look causing Jungkook to widen his nostrils. The vein in his neck was protruding from the blood pressure in his head.

Jungkook made an arrogant smile. "You will be what I want you to be, princess."

"No, I will be what I want to be." His voice was so hard and firm that Jungkook broke his smile. Raising her head high above Lexa again swept her body with more than contempt. "I'll be your fucking woman in front of the public but don't expect anything else."

Leaving her with the word in her mouth, she left the cabin furiously back to her camp.

[...]

The horseback ride to the river was smooth, with no enemies in sight. This time it had required bringing in more than three soldiers. This time the leaders of his warriors' brigades were with him. They were heading towards the southern part of the forest, just the point where a rock ended the river. It was in that place where she had arranged to meet Jungkook and her men.

The Heda had kept his word and had sent a party of men to assist his own in protecting the camp. Some disputes had arisen between newcomers and residents but Lexa managed to logically eradicate the problem. He provided them with food and water as well as a roof to sleep in but in exchange, they could not approach the villagers unless necessary.

"Sorry." A soft voice beside her made her turn her head in search of the owner. Suho had his head on his shoulders as a sign of regret along with a look full of regret. Lexa offered a small awkward smile. It was true that lately, she had distanced herself a lot from Suho since she learned the news of their marriage. She had been so busy organizing meetings with her allies that she had not had time to think about her personal life. Fortunately, Suho had.

"I'm sorry too," she replied with the same distress. Her smile turned into a pout just before it turned into a grimace. “Just because I married her doesn't mean I should change my life, Suho. I hope you understand that.

"I know, it just took me a while to figure it out." She swallowed, embarrassed by her immature attitude. Really, she would not have wanted Lexa to see her in that facet of her personality. " You did what you thought was best for your people. Your sacrifice deserves all my respect."

"I am his paper wife but not in fact." I will not stop being who I am and I will not stop being your friend.

"Glad to hear that," Suho said brighter as she smiled. Lexa nodded a little better now that the rancor was gone.

"We have arrived, Heda," announced a commander, interrupting the small competition of glances between the friends. Lexa saw from afar a small tent tied to some rocks as support. She sighed deeply before getting off the horse. It was the same blond warrior from the last visit who met them at the door. Like the other time, they had to divest themselves of weapons before entering. From what Lexa could tell, the warriors inside the tent weren't very equipped either.

"I thought you dumped me, princess." The clear mockery in Jungkook's voice caused a forced smile. Suho closed his eyes around Jungkook who was leaning against a wooden table. The black-haired man shook her hair as she straightened, surprising Lexa when she noticed the lack of black ink. It was the first time that Jungkook showed the skin of her bare face. His features were exposed before his eyes. Big deer eyes, no matter how expressive they emitted force. Bushy eyebrows that perfectly matched the color of his brown eyes. His nose was large but surprisingly in complete symmetry with his perfect face. He looked at her mouth, those gullies that smiled wickedly whenever they could seem soft and fluffy. Arguably, her beauty lived up to her ego.

Lexa followed her mocking smile to dominate the situation. "I'm not going to apologize for being busy."

"No, of course not," she added keeping the same mischievous tone.

Jungkook kept looking at her and she at him. Without knowing it, they had started a war of glances that none wanted to lose. Absent to the warriors that were in the place. It was just Lexa, Jungkook, and her higher ego.

[...]

"They have two settlements here and here," the blond commander whose name was known to be Jimin said aloud. He pointed with the tip of his finger at two marked crosses he had drawn on the map. Lexa frowned thoughtfully. She analyzed the strategic points in her head.

"Then let's attack," Suho concluded simply. The sound of an ironic smile made Lexa look at Jungkook.

“It is not an important military zone. If we attack we would lose the surprise factor. And they will strengthen the vigilance of those that do interest us. ”Jungkook added with an air of superiority. It sounded so obvious that Suho's brow furrowed as she perceived Jungkook's clear intentions in lowering her opinion. The warriors began to present their ideas, but Lexa could only focus on the red circle that she had drawn on top of a set of mountains.

"What's that?" All the men stopped talking when Lexa intervened. Jimin raised his eyebrows disoriented, emitted a confused low before answering. Jungkook immediately watched her closely.

"That is your most important military zone. I have underlined it in red because it is almost impossible to get to it without going through others before." It is very well protected.

Lexa narrowed her eyes as a crazy idea began to develop in her head. "It's near the river."

"Am, yes," Jimin commented again, confused by his sudden interest. "Well, it's a good place to settle down."

"I propose that we attack this area here," proposed a warrior from his clan, taking some objections from the other soldiers. Despite the hubbub of low voices, Lexa's mind remained clean and clear. She bit her indecisive lip. She was staring intently at the map for answers. When the gear on her head finally clicked she raised her eyebrows and looked straight ahead. To her surprise, she met Jungkook's curious gaze that watched her closely as if she were having the same mental fight.

"Let's attack the red zone." After Lexa's words, the men closed their mouths. They all acted incredulous with their eyes wide open.

Suho blinked at Lexa as if her friend had suddenly gone crazy. The warriors of her clan chose not to oppose her out of respect even though they were of the same opinion as Suho.

The only one who reacted favorably was Jungkook.

" I agree. Let's attack the red zone. ”She pursed her lips in a pout in her assent. This time it was the warriors of her clan who watched her as if she had lost her mind. Lexa eyed her intrigued by her unexpected support. Jungkook rested his big hands on the table so the distance between the two was not very long. Jungkook reciprocated brought his eyes from the map to her with such intensity that a chill ran down her spine.

"No intention of offending Hedas but ... That area is practically inaccessible, there are many warriors and we do not know the area as well as they do." A warrior intervened with respect but with a clear caution in his tone of voice, taking his gaze instantly. Jungkook and Lexa's.

Suho ducked his head towards Lexa to say something to him in a low voice. “You are right, Lexa. It is crazy.

Lexa stared blankly at the map. I knew it was. That is, who in her right mind would get into enemy territory and attack one of its strongest points with hardly any superficial information. Of course, she knew, but her instincts told her that she must continue forward.

"If what is on the map is true, the only source of food and water is the river." She spoke more to herself than to the rest. There was no doubt in her voice just a little uneasiness. She was letting herself be controlled too much by the voice in her head and was beginning to wonder if she should let it interfere with her decisions. "There are much closer military settlements but if we get them to move they will leave us free."

"Okay, suppose we unknowingly leave the way open." How would we do it? ”Silence reigned in the store due to the lack of answers.

"Contaminating the river," Jungkook said in her deep low voice.

Lexa looked back at him quickly, finding herself strangely connected to his gaze on her.

[...]

The meeting didn't take long after Jungkook's idea. They planned an interim plan to have something done for the next meeting. Lexa left the store satisfied. The meeting had exceeded her expectations in every way. Certainly, if she was honest she had always thought it was a waste of time. That they would not agree. But it was just the opposite, her warriors and those of the iron clan got on so well that there was hardly any discussion outside the main topic.

Lexa went to her horse tied to a tree located a few meters from the store which they had begun to dismantle. Suho was at her side, accompanying her as always.

“Princess!” The familiar mockery of her voice made him stop short. Lexa made a forced smile and then turned to Jungkook heavily. "Do you have a few minutes?"

Lexa swept her body suspiciously before nodding. "Sure."

Jungkook stretched out his arm in the direction of the riverbank. His arrogant smile made her nervous. Lexa sighed and started walking in that direction.

"Alone," Jungkook roared loudly towards Suho when she saw her intentions to follow Lexa. Suho formed a forced smile while emitting a short sarcastic laugh.

"I will leave if Lexa asks me." The same roar returned. Jungkook also laughed with the same intensity as she took a few steps in their direction so that they were face to face.

"Lexa? What trusts are those with your commander?" Jungkook spat with a hard look.

However, Suho saw the right moment to form a more than sarcastic smile. "She is much more than that to me."

After his deep confession, Jungkook brought out his teeth when he smirked. His tongue came out of her mouth to touch her fang. Then he hit his inner cheek. All that while watching the horse behind his Suho. When he turned his hard gaze again, it had intensified even more accompanied by a wicked smile that shouted nothing but pure contempt. Suho was not left behind crossing his arms as he bravely kept his gaze up.

"Suho, stay," Lexa interrupted, holding her arm in a warm gesture. Suho looked at Lexa with doubt over her eyes. Her expression had relaxed as she felt the warmth of his touch wrap around her arm. Action that Jungkook silently watched. He didn't know exactly what bothered him the most if he saw how her voice managed to control him or the delicacy of his grip. After a stare fight with her friend, Lexa looked closely at Jungkook.

"She couldn't hurt me even though she will try."

"Okay ..." Suho agreed quite calmly until he looked back at Jungkook leading his gaze back to anger.

Jungkook smiled triumphantly despite his sour character. He did not detach his gaze from Suho walking backward until he reached the open area of ​​the river where Lexa waited impatiently with his arms crossed.

"What do you want?" Seeing his voice so changed Jungkook felt more annoyed than before. Before he could bear the contempt of his gaze but not now when he had witnessed that he could look with other eyes.

"This was not what we agreed," he accused indignantly without taking his gaze from Lexa's. Jungkook wanted to be indifferent and he succeeded but when Lexa smiled the same way his gaze doubted a second. Really, he wasn't used to anyone standing up to him. Much less a woman.

“Haven't I married you?” Jungkook growled annoyed at the irony scattered in his tone of voice. I look away from the river in search of tranquility. His sharp jaw gleamed almost like an apparition from the reflection of sunlight. It was not the only thing that caught his attention but in fact, the scar he found on his cheekbone was more entertaining. He wondered its origin, it was not very large, nor very visible. It was the perfect combination that hardened his angelic face.

"You know what I mean." Annoyed, he replied through a whimpering moan.

He looked at her again unsatisfied, Lexa blew out annoyed.

"I think my point was made clear the other day." She exposed resentfully as she uncrossed her arms and let them drop heavily on either side of her body. "If that's all."

"No." Jungkook stopped him in his escape attempt. Lexa rolled her eyes returning to her position. She raised her eyebrows indicating that she should continue speaking. "Our camps are protected by different walls."

"Yes and what?"

"Well, I really see foolishness to have two camps with two different walls when their bosses are married." As Jungkook was exposing her headache, Lexa's eyebrows were rising. "I've thought of building a common wall."

"Joining the camps, is that what you're trying to tell me?" Lexa asked. In response, Jungkook nodded seriously. Lexa averted her eyes to the stream at her feet as if seeking inspiration. She moaned thoughtfully.

She dropped her defensiveness to a more open one. Jungkook's proposal had taken him by surprise, but he had not liked it too much. Having a common wall means increasing the territory of both fields. More space to plant, more space for families, proximity to the river, more protection ... It was a quite smart proposal because the military strength would also increase.

Jungkook raised an eyebrow while waiting for an answer.

"If you don't agree, I will accept it."

"No, no ..." he interrupted quickly. Jungkook let him continue speaking patiently. "... actually, it's a good idea."

"Fine," Jungkook simplified.

"Yes," she agreed in the same way.

"I will test the proposal on the council, but for me, it will go ahead."

Jungkook nodded his head. "I thought the stone area would be a good place to mark the new joint wall."

"Yes, it is a good area," she agreed in the agreement. Then he pursed his lips in pleasure. Jungkook nodded again, ending the conversation. "Leidon. *

"Leidon. *" Jungkook replied.

Lexa circled her body to return to her horse. Suho stopped looking at Jungkook's back to focus on her. Lexa sent a reassuring smile before her body fell to the ground.

She moaned dizzy. Everything was spinning. She put her hand to her head. She looked at her hand and found it flooded with blood later, with her eyes closed.

[...]

"You're protective shit," cursed a distorted voice that echoed inside his head. She groaned disoriented. I try to open my eyes but couldn't find the strength to do it. The senses began to perceive things again. Weakly closed his hand noting in his inner palm a kind of soft surface.

"Shut the fuck up!" Another different but equally deformed scream collided with the other voice inside the dark pit of his head.

"Enough both!" The third exciting voice-activated enough mechanisms to start reacting. "Sorry, but he is her husband, he has more right to be here than you, Suho ...

“Suho?” Lexa stuttered dizzy, catching the attention of the three pairs of eyes. The nominee hurried to the gurney when I hear his faint voice.

“Lexa? OMG. No, don't talk. Save your strength. ”He shook her hand with his to make her feel like he was next to her. Lexa slowly opened her eyes feeling overwhelmed for a few seconds by the focus of light after so much darkness.

She brought her free hand to her forehead, meeting the rough touch of a patch. "What happened to me, Suho?"

"They tried to kill you," another stronger voice replied. With improved eyesight, she saw Jungkook appear at the foot of her stretcher sending a serious look.

"I ..." A sob turned his attention to his friend. "... Sorry." I didn't know what was happening until you fell to the ground.

"You should rest. You hit yourself in the head very hard." Jin interjected kindly, appearing next to Jungkook with a worried look.

As if the number of people who had so suddenly invaded his field of vision was not enough, a Jungkook warrior joined the meeting and whispered something in his ear, then left as if nothing had happened. He analyzed Jungkook's serious expression so he assumed he had received bad news.

"My men have caught her," Jungkook said in the neutral voice typical of a person announcing something unpleasant.

Lexa frowned."Her?"

[...]

They waited in the council room in complete silence. Jin had advised Lexa to continue resting but she refused to do so. Even more so when the identity of her aggressor would be revealed in the assembly. She could see that there was no one from her clan, so she assumed that her mother had not been informed of the attack, otherwise she would have been there screaming in the sky.

His chair was next to Jungkook's. An egalitarian gesture that he certainly did not see coming. The rest of the councilors waited patiently in their respective places on either side of the thrones.

A high pitched scream of fighting began to sound closer and closer. Lexa tensed in the seat straightened her body. Jungkook felt the force of his nails dig into the wood out of the corner of his eye so he immediately put his hand on it to reassure her. Lexa stopped losing air through her mouth to look at him surprised without success as Jungkook looked straight ahead.

"Hedas," said a soldier by way of greeting. He bowed his head in respect. Then, Lexa turned her eyes to the front, what she found was completely paranoid. A girl of no more than thirteen years old lay at the feet of the warrior tied hand and foot with her knees on the ground and her head down.

Lexa blinked at Jungkook before whispering in a confused whisper.

"It's a girl."

Jungkook watched her closely, then nodded almost as shocked as she was. Lexa watched her tiny figure cautiously.

"You tried to kill me, why?" Lexa raised her voice so that the message would reach the end of the cabin where the girl was waiting gagged.

The girl used her straight blonde Caucasian hair to cover her face. She raised her head to Lexa, who was waiting impatiently for her answer, but lowered it again, ignoring her question: "Is Ronald sending you?"

“Answer!” Jungkook demanded, burning with deep rage. Lexa jumped out of the seat briefly at the poisonous impact of her voice.

"My soul is at peace because I will die knowing that I will try," the girl recited weakly. Everyone in the room looked at each other as they muttered.

"Try what?" Lexa asked, still not overcoming the strangeness in her voice.

"Kill my parents' killer," he roared in response, his voice dark and bloodshot.

The room was once again in deep dazzling silence.

"I didn't kill your parents." Lexa frowned in confusion.

"You killed them when you decided to shoot that arrow of fire." The murmurs soon returned with full force. Lexa was static in the seat. Memories of the chaos she caused hit her mind too hard. Screams of pain and suffering echoed inside her head. She wasn't aware of the present until she heard hurried footsteps heading toward her.

-Murderess! Murderess!

“Take her away!” Jungkook growled furiously at the warriors who had intercepted the girl on her way to Lexa. The girl resisted. She kicked the air and she didn't stop screaming until she was taken out of the cabin. Looking blankly, Lexa realized that the nightmares of her dreams were her fault. She had summoned her demons and that girl had just reminded him of the disaster they had caused. Now!

Jungkook's scream lifted the advisors from their places. Murmurs flooded the cabin until the last of them came out. Left alone, Jungkook frowned in concern at Lexa.

"We are not that different," she assumed in a neutral tone. She kept her gaze focused on the gap where the warriors had dragged the girl. Lexa sighed deeply and then bit her lip restlessly. That girl wanted to end the murderer of her parents. She wanted to do the same. They were the same intentions but different contexts. Her chest was tight with guilt.

"You chose to save yours above all else," Jungkook argued in a persuasive tone. He rose from the throne to place himself on his knees in front of his. With the kneecap glued to the step. I try to meet her gaze but Lexa did not respond.

"I have left that girl orphaned." The neutral tone repeated itself this time being much more serious. Lexa swallowed hard as she became aware of the consequences of her actions.

"You killed so they won't kill you," Jungkook corrected gravely, causing the seriousness of his voice to activate the mechanisms of his head and finally react to his gaze. There was so much intensity in those brown eyes that I almost begged him to keep talking. "The path of a Heda is not easy, Lexa." I know you will make the right decision.

The right decision.

It is amazing how three words can change a person's destiny. Whether she will live or die. Their traditions were clear. Asking blood for blood but ... Was that really the damn right decision?

Did that girl deserve death for wanting to avenge her parents?

Did that girl deserve punishment when she craved the same?

[...]

Quite possibly it had been the worst night of his life. The nightmares returned with force, upsetting his sleep so much to the point of preventing it. If I closed my eyes I saw blood. If I closed my eyes I saw a fire. If he closed his eyes ... he saw the death of his father.

She closed her eyes in anguish. The time helped to clarify the ideas but in her case, it had only served to fuel further doubts. I know that many people were waiting outside, wanting to hear a sentence. The screams managed to interfere with her cabin as if she were there. But she didn't know if she preferred silence more.

As she came out of her cabin completely, the outside noise hit her ears harder. As the intuition of people following an event like this had intuited was countless. Making her way between her subjects out posing right in front of the girl who was tied to a wooden stick. Jungkook was just behind sitting on his throne patiently awaiting his arrival.

When he did, he got up, which made everyone present obediently shut up to listen to his Heda.

"We are here for trial on charges of attempted murder." Lexa Skycru of the Heavenly Clan will be the one to sentence you. ”Jungkook shouted dominance at all his subjects. Lexa turned her head back to watch when her eyes made contact. Jungkook nodded.

"Let her die now or be silent forever."

"Yes! Death! ”A maddened warrior ruled causing others to rise up with the same messages."

—Jus drein jus daun! *

"Let it burn!"

"Yes!"

Lexa squeezed her eyes shut at the rumbling so disturbing the warriors' uncontrollable and disorderly screams caused.

"There will be no death!" Lexa cried with the same dominance as Jungkook. Then she looked at the soldier who was closely watching the girl. "Let her go." The screams thundered again for her incomplete satisfaction. The girl slowly raised her head towards Lexa who did not stop looking seriously. "You will give a message to your commander." Let him know that the heavenly tribe and the iron tribe are going to kill him. We give you two weeks to remove all women and children from your territory. After that time a blood fight will open.

"What makes you think I will comply?" Answered the girl, forming a hypocritical umbrella.

Lexa took her lips off. "I couldn't avoid the deaths of your parents. I ask you to help me avoid others."

[...]

A couple of weeks had passed since the bonfire incident. Everything had passed without further interruption. According to the testimony of a soldier sent for recognition, the threat to Ronald's clan had taken effect because he witnessed people leaving their lands to head towards the mountains. Arguably, that had been a small victory in the war that was about to take place.

Now, for the moment, having controlled the war theme, Lexa decided to focus on the construction of the wall that would unify the celestial lands with those of iron. As expected, some snags had arisen from her advisers, but Lexa had managed to persuade them by showing them the many advantages that it would offer. Of course, the one that was most accepted was the extension of land and therefore wealth.

She had been in her hair for about two hours, observing from a distance how artisans worked. She ran her forearm across her forehead to wipe away the sweat. The sun shone hotly high in the sky, suffocating her presence. Despite being sheltered under the shade of the tree, the temperature was inhumane. When the reflection of the river water called her in a mirage, she came to him like bees to honey.

Jungkook, who was also in the same conditions when she saw Lexa heading to the river to cool off, decided to follow in her footsteps.

Suho, who in fact was also the same decision to do the same but with other intentions being stopped by a familiar voice.

“Where are you going?” A hand attacked by the passage of time wrapped her forearm holding. Suho blinked at the woman he recognized as Lexa's mother. The woman looked in the same direction as him, clicking her tongue. "Let them speak."

"I don't want to let him clear the way," Suho confessed with a deep tone full of jealousy, still watching Jungkook approach Lexa from behind.

"Suho ..." However, Kerin's melancholic whisper diverted him from his focus. The woman watched him sadly. "There was never away."

[...]

She left her shoes on some rich ones to put her feet in the water. The cold sensation sent cramps all over her body. She sighed thoughtfully as her gaze fell to the shell necklace her father gave her when she hunted her first rabbit. Unconsciously she held it tightly between her malpa as if the gesture could make her return. In fact, no. The whole situation with the girl had unearthed a pain that he thought was relieved.

The night before she had had what she believed to be one of her worst nightmares. Eg the dream, her body took the place of the girl. Her hands were painfully tied with string. In front of her was the girl holding a stick with fire on its tip. Her macabre laugh sounded when she saw that her attempts to free herself always end in failure. Suddenly, a familiar figure appeared just behind the girl. Lexa smiled at her father who was looking at her with pity. But everything became darker, more confusing. Her father had stopped smiling, now, now she was pushing the stick down so that it caught the leaves under her feet. Everything seemed to go further and further until she woke up.

"It hurts, it's normal." A voice behind her spoke. Lexa slowly opened her eyes out of her reverie. Then, she looked at Jungkook who was looking at her worried from the top of a rock. Unlike her eyes that contemplated her beauty reflected in the sun, his followed the path of the tear that ran down his cheek. "I also thought at some point that I would not overcome pain but I did."

"How?" She asked. Her chest tightened accordingly as her distressed voice shone from her appearance.

"Recognizing what it is: weakness," Jungkook replied seriously. Keeping his gaze fixed on her until Lexa lowered his towards the river.

"Love? I can't live like this. ”I groan angrily, then, turning around, she grabbed her shoes and walked to her horse, leaving Jungkook silent.

[...]

Burdened by the endless hours of council meetings she ends up running away from the back of the cabin. She coughs in the face of the unwelcome sting of the sun that blinds her until she is used to her vision.

“Get up and fight!” A wild scream draws her attention completely. Looking for the origin of the problem, he sees from afar a group of children sitting in a circle. In the middle, a tall woman with brown hair pulled back into a braid, thin but with a muscular body, keeps them with their heads down while yelling at a child on the floor.

"I'm tired ..." Her voice sounds so weak and it is when she finishes approaching that she notices the brightness of her tears on her cheeks.

But the woman laughs. "In war, death does not distinguish who is and who is not. Raise!"

"Hey!" Lexa growled annoyed, catching the attention of the woman and the children who looked back immediately. "He told you he can't take it anymore."

"It is an exhaustive training I already knew what I was facing." The warrior answers with hypocrisy giving her a look of few friends.

"Besides, it is her punishment for being the weakest."

"And it seems fair to you? Who fights against you who have more experience?"

Lexa raised an eyebrow as she placed her hands on her pitcher-shaped hip. The children's eyes went between Lexa and the warrior with caution.

“Are you free if you want to take her place?” She offered, giving him a mocking bow.

Lexa walked confidently towards her until she stopped when she reached the center of the circle. A child helped the wounded man to get up to sit him completing the circle.

“What are the rules?” He shook his head in her direction.

"Until you can't take it anymore," she added with a hint of wicked amusement in her voice. He smiled as the tips of his fingers enthusiastically brushed the edge of his sword. Lexa pouted her mouth before nodding.

The warrior attacked first with all her might. Lexa dodged the blow with agility and then returned it with the same force. Their swords clashed screeching at the contact.

Lexa's feet were firmly planted on the ground providing stability. The warrior slapped her shoulder against his but Lexa held her position as if nothing had happened.

Then, the warrior brought out a toothy smile. "You are skillful who would say it when ..." She brought her mouth to whisper in her nose.

Lexa ironic river."The value of a woman is not measured in the number of cocks she raises."

Their swords unhook and collide again this time with more fury. Lexa glared at her with a hard but triumphant look when she realized that the warrior's feet were dragged along the ground by her strength.

"Of course not," she growled in response, pulling away. She stepped back to catch her breath as she swung her sword gracefully.

"Because I'm only interested in lifting one."

Lexa frowned in surprise when she realized the gaze was directed at something behind her. Curiosity won the game when he followed the direction, meeting Jungkook and two warriors in the middle of a conversation in the distance. Lexa swallowed hot with the inexplicable heat that began to melt her insides.

She'd lost track of time so much that she didn't see Raven kicking her back, knocking her to the ground. Lexa coughed when dirt got into her mouth. Then, she turned angrily towards Raven who was smiling victoriously. Lexa was mentally punished for being so foolishly distracted when she was in the middle of a fight.

"It's funny that you are husband and wife but you sleep in different cabins," Raven continued with provocation.

"Trouble in paradise? Already realized that you are not worth anything?"

Lexa threw a blow to her stomach so hard that the warrior's body landed two feet away.

"If you're so anxious to take my place, do it." Lexa roared with her fists clenched and her nostrils dilated by her altered breathing.

Raven dropped to her knees with her hand on her stomach as she laughed wickedly and watched her in pain. "I already have."

Lexa blinked, not knowing why her body was completely paralyzed. Raven scrambled to her feet trying to punch directly into her jaw but Lexa didn't fall that time, intercepting her arm to twist him in the back and then kneeing her in the mouth, knocking her to the ground proclaiming herself the winner.

"Well, enjoy it," Lexa yelled passively, not showing the least bit of affection. He watched her from above in disgust as he circled her to get away from there not before releasing his last attack. “So much that you like to lift things try to get up now.”

[...]

"What was that?" Suho asked, walking slowly through the trees as he approached. Lexa under the arch, forgetting about the rabbit that ran free through a clearing. When he saw the expression on her face, he clicked his tongue at the surprisingly fast rumors that ran through his people.

"Comprehensive training," she clarified simply by pointing back to the clearing. She pursed her lips in a dissatisfied pout when she found it empty.

"And since when do you take a thorough training so seriously?" Suho scoffed, raising an eyebrow in amusement.

"Do you like me?" Lexa asked hastily without a hint of lucidity in her voice or disturbed expression.

"What?" Eyelid Suho.

"As a woman."

"Oh," she uttered in surprise as her senses returned to stress. Suho gulped foolishly for taking a few seconds to start the mechanisms in her head again. "Are you smart, fair, and brave who wouldn't like you?

"I don't mean that, but the physical." Do you think men can like me? ”She sighed. She frowned sadly and bit her cheek nervously. Lexa had never been an insecure woman but she couldn't help falling into the labyrinth of doubt since she had that fight with Raven. Her voice sounded confident and firm without hesitation in her advances. She hated feeling so affected. She was envious of her experience and a strange avalanche of punctures in her stomach when she pictured her with Jungkook. Because it was obvious. There was something between them, why else would he let go of that without foundations on which to lean. There was also the possibility that she just wanted to give him a hard time but his head guided her to the first option over and over again.

-Why do you ask me that?

"It doesn't matter." Lexa smiled sheepishly avoiding her curious gaze. Never. But never. I would tell something so intimate to Suho.

"I think ..." Suho whispered, drawing her attention to the intimate tone she used. "... you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." You have the most beautiful smile in the world, Lexa.

Suho couldn't help but spread a medium smile. There was a warm glow in her eyes, too revealing a glow with feelings so far hidden from her. Lexa opened her eyes in surprise.

Feeling against the sword and the wall before her revealing gaze.

"Hmm ... do you think this area is suitable for camping?" Lexa added, turning her head towards the map.

"What?" She said absently. "Oh, yes, it's good," she answered calmly, still admiring the way her hair covered her left profile. Suho couldn't help but smile relaxed. "It's very good."

[...]

"This is it, thanks for listening." Lexa finished towards the councilors, saying goodbye with a polite smile. After the third and last meeting of the week on the previews of the new wall, she felt less weight to worry about. She sighed resignedly turning to Jungkook who kept his eyes fixed on the marked area simulating the limits just discussed. "I had thought we can use the old materials to build the wall." This way we will use the brick and we would have more to build more houses. — she said, looking askance at him, waiting patiently for the chestnut tree to react or say something that it did not do. for...

She wasn't aware of how quickly she stopped talking until Jungkook pressed her lips together in a desperate kiss. She opened her mouth, tucking her tongue in without warning. Lexa moaned in complete shock with her eyes open. Jungkook's hand tightened on her waist, pressing her to his chest. Lexa's hands were trapped in her shoulder area. Jungkook tilted his face and intensified the kiss.

Lexa closed her eyes slowly, letting go. Opening her mouth to receive her tongue. She sighed discard as she slid her hands up to his neck. His fingers gripped her hair and she stretched. Jungkook growled ecstatically bending down to lift her by her thighs and place her on the table. The map crumpled as her butt landed on top but they cared little.

Jungkook broke the kiss, creating a wet snap. Panting, her breath hit his face with a dark, wistful, wild gaze full of unstoppable lust. He brought his hands up to his cheeks. He moved his thumb affectionately, delighting in the softness of her skin to end up pressing his thumb to the soft skin of her lower lip. He approached in a quick kiss, letting out a satisfied moan when he felt her participation.

"Jungkook ..." He threw his head back as wet kisses began to come down his jaw. She stretched her roots again with excitement, taking another guttural growl. His hands slowly lowered down a path to his lower back until… “Jungkook!” An annoyed scream caused Jungkook to blink in confusion. He pouted his lips as he hugged her chest. Jungkook looked at her with a frown. "No, of course not." What's wrong I'm talking to you about important things?

"Why did you tell Raven that she liked to lift things?" He blurted out without warning importing anything or little that his thought had come out loud.

“What?” This time it was he who blinked in confusion. “It was just to provoke him.

"You spoke very loudly," he said, raising his eyebrows.

Lexa rolled her eyes. "Can we focus on this, please?"

She indicated the map with her hand, looking down at it again. Jungkook couldn't help but think how good his hair was.

Others would think it was foolish to notice that Lexa really had a beautiful profile. Her small and delicate jaw gave her face that innocent point that drove her crazy. She did not know but her face was very expressive showing everything that crossed her mind. He could tell when she was sad at the tilt of her mouth or how upset she was when she wrinkled her nose shrugging and making it more adorable.

Jungkook smiled mischievously at the conversion that began to play in his head as if it were his favorite song. Of course, I hear what Raven said what was not seen to come was that Lexa reacted so annoying. Her heart warmed to beat faster.

Then, she took advantage of the fact that she was distracted to approach from behind and stick her lips to his ear.

"She will never lift my cock as you do."

[...]

Hunting day.

Without a doubt, his favorite activity of the week. He was looking forward to it because it was the only time of the day when he could relax and breathe deeply the oxygen-rich air of the forest. Her lungs are grateful and certainly her head clear too.

Carefully advanced through the field by the number of thin sticks that will not hesitate to break at the slightest touch. She didn't know the area as well as she usually would, but that didn't stop her fighting spirit. She swore to herself that she would hunt good prey today.

A small innocent laugh changed the course of her attention. Not far from where he was he saw a girl of about eight years old smiling as she curiously observed a small bird on top of Jungkook's palm. Practically the smile was drawn alone on her face. Next, the little bird flew off causing the girl to rush out after him. Jungkook had a small smile making him look innocent and youthful.

Her disunited face in contrast to sunlight was, from now on, her favorite concept.

"I didn't know you could treat the children," Lexa commented, approaching slowly while sending her an amused look.

"I adore children especially how they are made," she said gracefully when she felt their steps approach from behind.

Jungkook looked at her recreating his typical arrogant smile in which his tongue struck the inside of the cheek.

"You are incredible," Lexa confessed, tempted. "It is not a compliment."

Although Jungkook clearly knew how to perceive the mockery and irony in his voice, something inside him was excited. He proceeded to follow her slowly, earning a sidelong glance from her.

"Your ass is also amazing." Lexa stopped walking and turned around with her eyes open. When she saw his eyes go up to her face when she turned around she couldn't help but blush. Jungkook raised an eyebrow. "Oh, it's not a compliment."

His mischievous laugh was a harsh blow to her who spread her blush to the tips of her ears in embarrassment. She had fallen into the game that she herself had created. Feeling too insulted when she looks at the ground, she doesn't think twice and bends down.

Jungkook stops when she notices something hit her back.

“Did you just throw a handful of dried leaves at me?” He asks, surprised, then slowly turns around.

Lexa refuses by pressing her lips together as she passes by like she's nothing.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

-No? Okay — falsely accept. Because when Lexa turns her back on him, Jungkook bends down and throws a dried pineapple at him.

"Hey!" She cries complaining and turns around. Bring your hand to your lower back to caress the area and thus relax the pain. Of course, Lexa frowns when Jungkook innocently shrugs. He raises his eyebrows and laughs wryly. Then he reaches down and throws a handful of dirt at her with small stones that end up dirtying her cheek. Jungkook coughs and Lexa laughs maniacally. She acknowledges that when Jungkook throws another dried pineapple at her chest, she starts having fun. Both succumb to the game and start throwing everything they see on the ground. They laugh together for the first time. Lexa can not help thinking that her laugh in a normal state is quite pleasant away from that dry sound that she usually emits when she laughs without emotion or grace.

When she stops listening to that melodious laugh she drops a handful of leaves and looks at it. She lets out a groan of surprise as her back hits the wood of a tree. Jungkook corners her in less than a second. He doesn't know what's going on but he feels a chill when he feels the hardness of his thigh brush against hers.

"Don't move, I've seen something among the trees," he says uneasily. He is about to complain when Jungkook places a hand on his shoulder and pushes him back towards the tree.

"It must have been an animal," he growls uncomfortably. His body is so big that it covers him in seconds. Her heart beats so hard that she's afraid Jungkook will notice if her chest keeps pressing against her like that.

"It wasn't a fucking animal." Jungkook's voice turns serious and dangerous as he lowers his head to look at her. Lexa is connected to her eyes without being able to avoid it. They are so dark that you could lose yourself in them and not complain about not finding the exit. Jungkook's breath directly hugged the upper skin of his lips making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. He had never been so close to a man so he attributed his nerves to lack of habit but that did not take away the fact that he was also the first man his body trembled with the slightest touch. One hand was held firmly on top of his head while the other was off to the side. They were so close that the tips of his feet touched hers. Jungkook's lips remained in a neutral grimace combining with the seriousness reflected in his body. He knew he was tense from the way his shoulders were not resting from that straight line. He intended to say something but his mouth did not respond to his commands as if the connections in his head had lost touch with reality.

By having him this close he could have the privilege of analyzing his features in more detail. He hadn't even realized, until now, that just below his lower lip was a mole. And for some strange reason, he wanted to stretch a finger and squeeze it. Jungkook cleared his throat to catch his attention. Lexa cast a curious glance at him and then her cheeks turned red.

She looked away embarrassed for being so impulsive and caught on the spot. When in reality, Jungkook's discomfort hadn't been precise because of over-gaze but because of the way he did it. The dream returned to his mind when he noticed how his eyes traveled to detail his lips and certainly, this was a moment that could not be carried away by his primary impulses. So she decided to return to her tough posture. "I'm going to look at stay in place again."

Lexa rolled her eyes when I hear him so demanding. As she indicated, she walked away completely and then returned to where they had been playing.

"Do you see it? Nothing happens… Jungkook! ”Lexa shouted in fright as an arrow grazed the right side of her head knocking him to the ground. Jungkook was swinging his head on the ground while complaining sore eyes tight. Lexa ran towards him in a panic attack. She knelt down and tried to lift her head. "No, no shit." Jungkook? ”He was desperately searching for an answer, but Jungkook only produced moans that were getting weaker and weaker. I tilt my neck carefully to look at the wound. When he touched the blood on the tip of his ear and saw it black he cursed under his breath. "Poison ..." This one was different, this one was much more powerful and dangerous because it was not just a paralytic. He swallowed hard, laid his head gently on top of a mountain of leaves, and then got up. "Hold on, I'm going to get help, please just hold on."

[...]

Despite the fact that things had gone well and no misfortune had arisen, she could not feel completely relieved. As he ran toward the camp, he caught a glimpse of a man running in the opposite direction. He forced himself not to follow him because Jungkook was more important. He was afraid that the man would come back and hurt him at seeing him so unprotected but again, he forced his legs to keep running.

This was not the time for his paranoia.

Fortunately, Jin was in his cabin and in possession of the antidote. He dipped the red seaweed tea in a handkerchief and placed it on his ear to absorb the poison. Two hours later, Jungkook woke up and as soon as he regained the notion of reality he returned to his clan's affairs. He ignored Jin's warnings and left as soon as his legs left him.

For that very reason, after his last meeting with the council, on his way back to his cabin, he ran into a worried Jin. After that, he wasn't even aware of what went out the door.

"Jin said you didn't want to heal yourself." The girl's voice sounded annoyed as she made her way deeper into the cabin. Jungkook, who had been studying a map on the table, turned irritably.

"It is foolish to waste supplies when there are bigger wounds to take care of."

"At least let me take a look at you," he asked, pulling up the small white bag to put it in his line of sight. "Sit at the desk, please."

Jungkook frowned at her but finally ended up obeying and going to the table to sit down. I interlock my fingers and click my tongue in annoyance. Lexa ignored her childish attitude. She indicated with her fingers to tilt her head. A gesture she made against her will but in silence.

"You see?" Jungkook replied wryly, raising his eyebrows. Lexa looked at him seriously when Jungkook turned his head again.

"What I see is an open wound that, if not healed, can become infected," he reproaches with annoyance. It was true, Jin's superficial treatment had made the wound a mere scratch, but she still had a fresh layer of dried blood on the tip of her ear. He breathed in focusing on the task. He reached out for a piece of cotton, dipped it in rubbing alcohol, then put it on the wound. Jungkook groaned plaintively at the sting moving in place.

Lexa pursed her lips. "Sorry."

"Were you worried about me?"

Lexa stopped looking at the wound as soon as she perceived the softness of his tone. Flashing nervously, she cleared her throat and concentrated on cleaning the blood again. "Don't be so self-centered, I worry about everyone the same."

“Sure?” Her tone had suddenly dropped, becoming intimate and personal. The cotton was suspended in midair when Jungkook turned his head to connect his gaze to hers. Lexa frowned a few seconds before relaxing her face. He perceived her seriousness in his penetrating gaze. Set and firm on yours. They had never looked at her like that. They had never left her speechless with a glance. And when Jungkook slowly started to get closer his mind flew into dangerous territory.

"Don't turn your face I can't see your ear." She growled annoyed to hide her nervousness. He caught her chin and turned her face again.

"Are you going to see your mother tomorrow?"

"Yes, I haven't been in a while."

"Then I will go with you."

"No need, Suho ...

"I do not care. I wanna go."

"Okay," she accepted, confused by his sudden interest. "You saved my life, I'm going to have to start taking you with me everywhere."

"I was used to it ..." Jungkook pronounced, taking a scowl from Lexa. Seeing that he was not responding, he shook his head in denial and returned to his task.

[...]

Now that the two clans were unified and the roads opened, the distance and time to travel were considerably less. Before, when he suffered those longings for freedom and escaped to the forest, it took him more than half an afternoon to return home. Now he realized that time was no longer going to be a tedious burden.

But undoubtedly, a considerable change to consider was the look of his subjects. Before, they treated her as an equal now they watched her from a distance with a shy look. But he knew it was not for her, the citizens did not fear his presence but Jungkook's. And it was normal, he was a foreigner who had been forced to fear above all else.

His mother was still occupying the usual cabin, so when she was at the beginning of the camp, it didn't take long for her to stand in front of their doors. The atmosphere was tense, he knew it very well because he could feel the thoughtful air. The two men behind him had been silent the entire way creating an atmosphere filled with awkward silence.

He tightened the reins to hold the hair still so he could get down from it. Suddenly, he noticed movement in his rear when he turned his head, large hands adjusted at his waist, and helped lower it. Lexa widened her eyes when her feet finally landed on the ground. Intuitively she placed her palms on top of her chest to stabilize her body. When she noticed the hardness of her muscles, she looked up. Jungkook intensified him as if he wanted to speak to her from that gesture, show him a longing that he had not seen reflected before.

The sound of a cracked door opening made them slowly come to their senses.

“Lexa?” With an excited tone, her mother turned to her, surprised by her visit. He wrapped his arms around her neck to press her against his chest as he had always done. Lexa inhaled the smell of roses from her mother's feeling at home. "What are you doing here ...

When her gaze fell on Jungkook as they parted, the words got stuck in her mouth.

"It's been a while since I came and I missed you," Lexa added with a melancholic smile capturing her mother's attention. She pursed her lips in delight as she analyzed her daughter. I caress her cheek and then gently curl a strand of hair.

"You are prettier, you eat well, right?"

"Yes, mom," he replied monotonously, but still emitting that smiling aura.

"I'll be back later so we can get back together." When Jungkook spoke his mother frowned and Lexa looked at him confused.

“Aren't you going to stay for lunch?” After her mother's offer, Jungkook felt her body freeze.

"I don't want to disturb her, ma'am." Although Jungkook's voice had come out it would be his calm face hiding nothing but shame. Ever since he had noticed her presence Lexa's mother had been nervous and certainly he too. She did not like to be observed, much less annoying than the reunion between mother and daughter.

Lexa's mother protested. "That I have not agreed to the terms of your marriage does not mean that I do not respect my daughter's decisions. As things have been you are still my son-in-law and therefore part of my family now. So if you both go inside ...

Lexa looked around with a frown meeting only the three of them. Suho had left without saying anything and that started to worry.

"... and by the gods call me mother no lady."

Jungkook nodded rhythmically as if he had just received a military order. His mother re-entered the cabin followed by Jungkook, Lexa said goodbye to the outside with a sorry look still looking for his friend.

[...]

The food had not been as tense as expected, his mother had managed to get Jungkook to release his tongue and that he would abandon that serious and lonely posture for a moment. When Lexa finished her last bite of roast chicken, she slowly got up from the table and proceeded to carry the plate into the kitchen. I put it on top of the steel counter and then turned to go back. However, a small drawing hanging on the wall with a skewer caught her attention. She came closer to admire the painting more closely.

She couldn't help but chuckle shaking her shoulders at the poorly scribbled paper. It was her father and her. Lexa had given that drawing to her father for her birthday, immortalizing that day when they went to see the birth of the tents. She certainly did not expect her mother to keep her away.

Hearing the sound of a plate hitting the counter behind her, she rolled her eyes and broke her smile.

"If you're going to tell me again that love is weakness, better go back the way you came." I exhale tiredly facing the wall. She did not feel like arguing knowing that her mother was only a room away and that she could hear everything but she could not shut her mouth and let it pass because she was not for talks full of the pure and empty feeling of life.

"It's what my father taught me," Jungkook said calmly resting a hand on the counter. Lexa raised an eyebrow and turned on her feet in annoyance.

However, when I did not notice that mischief in her voice nor that arrogant posture, she began to feel intrigued. Her shoulders leaned down and her gaze seemed to be drowned in rage. I've never seen her like this. Then, she repeated her words in her mind slowly, paying attention to each one of them. She had just named her father. The ancient Heda of the Iron Clan. She couldn't help but feel curious about him because his father didn't even tell him those things claiming that she wasn't ready for such.

“Since when are you Heda?” The question came out on its own as if it were in thought out loud that it needed to get out before it rotted inside.

Jungkook raised his eyebrows contemptuously as he said, "Since I was thirteen."

"And your mother?"

"She died of an infection in a pandemic." She didn't seem hurt at all treating the subject as if it were just one more in her life. Lexa felt terrible grief adjust in her chest. She was really so calm that she was scared of her indifference.

"Don't you miss your parents?"

"They never acted as such because they should?" And there was the reason. Jungkook demonstrated so many things at once that his confused brain was slow to see them all at once. Answered questions normally. He hadn't even been affected by answering the age question. By God, since he was thirteen years many others have passed. How can a child face the role of Heda when she, at her age and with a supposed training and maturity, still showed some discomfort when assuming responsibilities. It must have been quite shocking and disturbing.

"And you?"

Lexa blinked lost. "A lot." He confessed weakly. Then a small nostalgic smile filled her lips. "My father was a little harsh sometimes but not too much he always fixed it with a smile."

Jungkook nodded instantly with the same aura of nonchalance. He didn't know exactly why, but seeing him so serious and frigid, his body began to walk alone forward. Jungkook's arms were suspended in midair as Lexa buried her head in his chest and wrapped her small hands around his waist. It took Jungkook a minute to react by wrapping his lower back and pulling her to his body so that his chin rested on top of his head.

"I'm supposed to be comforting you," Jungkook commented closing his eyes as he felt the warmth of Lexa tuck him in gently. His strawberry scent went up to his nostrils, making him his favorite scent.

Jungkook smiled helplessly as his tired sigh bounced off his chest. "Stop growling so much."

[...]

She turned her fifteenth turn on the bed before finally turning on her side. His hand was under her pillow and her legs were on top of each other. Although she will try to close her eyes and allow herself to be overcome by fatigue, her body had other plans that night. It was so strange because I was sleepy. Her eyelids drooped wearily but her eyes didn't want to close. Finally, and after half an hour later, she sighed in defeat and closed her eyes to sleep.

A sharp surface brushed her neck causing her eyes to squeeze uncomfortably as she brought her hand to it a strong arm turned her face up.

"I should have done this from the beginning." Realizing that it was not a dream and that both the pressure on her neck and the terrifying voice were real she desperately opened her eyes to meet a man on top of her body. She opened her mouth to ask for help but her hand covered her mouth immediately. "No bitch tonight you won't be the same luck."

The fingers around her nose closed, pressing on her nostrils. The man laughed pleased when his legs stirred urgently. I was so scared. So annoying. So disgusted by feeling so touched. With her hand on her mattress, she began to feel the surface quickly when she brushed the ass of her glass bottle she didn't think twice before hitting her on the head.

“Bitch!” She moaned loudly, touching her head. Her body fell to the side from the impact giving her the space to sneak towards the door. But when she was about to open the door, her filthy fingers pulled her ankle down causing her to have to put her hands forward to avoid hitting her mouth on the ground.

Lexa threw a kick that landed on her face. The man cursed when her plant deflected the septum from her nose. But that only caused the rage to turn into a fire that was impossible to quench. He tugged on her ankle, dragging her back under him. This time he wasted no time and his fingers wrapped tightly around her neck. Lexa sucked in strangled moans as she felt oxygen leaking from her lungs. Her legs were flailing furiously but when her thumbs clenched the hollow of her windpipe the movements stopped executing due to lack of oxygen supply. With her last breath, she continued to search for something on the ground when she felt something sharp lead her forward, driving a piece of broken glass into the socket of her eye.

The man released her in a brutal scream bringing his hands to her pierced eye as she crawled over to her chair to rest her back.

The door opened so hard that the hinges broke. Jungkook ran into Lexa as two soldiers approached the man to arrest him on the ground.

"Lexa!" Jungkook yelled desperately but she had already passed out from the effort.

[...]

"Swallow," Jin asked worriedly. I remove the spoon from his mouth and Lexa swallowed the jelly with difficulty. He closed his eyes when the softness touched the walls of his throat but soon after the pain began to lessen becoming bearable. When Jin noticed the relaxation on his face, he smiled regretfully. "You will take this every time you eat or talk a lot. It will help with swelling and reduce itching.

Lexa nodded so as not to form the vocal cords. Sometime later the door opened, causing her to divert her attention to it.

"How are you?" Jungkook asked, seriously leaning against the door frame. The tension in his shoulders told him that he was still on alert, his hoarse tone still annoying.

"Where is?"

"He's in the dungeons. Now answer me."

"Is he the one who attacked you?" She didn't need an answer when he noticed how Jungkook's eyes hardened. "I don't understand, Suho was at my door like ha ... OMG! Suho okay?"

"He's fine."

"Then why don't I believe you?" She frowned in annoyance at his sudden caution. Jungkook avoided his gaze making him more nervous. "Can you speak clearly?"

"We have found Suho unconscious."

Lexa opened her eyes in fright. "Has that man done something to you?" If something happens to her because of her, she would never forgive me ... I have to see it."

Jungkook strode to the stretcher when the girl tried to get up from the stretcher to run towards the door.

"Lexa, stop." Jungkook's large hands tightened on her shoulders to sit her down but she hysterically denied.

"Don't ask me when my friend is hurt!"

“He's not hurt, he was drunk, dammit!” Jungkook's scream stopped all activity in his system. His face paled and his chest clenched.

"What?" I breathe incredulously.

Jungkook looked down before looking at her indecisively. "That's why that son of a bitch could easily pass because your friend was sleeping."

[...]

After an arduous week on the stretcher in Jin's cabin, he was finally able to be discharged and take up his duties again. Jungkook had been holding the position of Heda Celeste in his absence, which he was grateful for, when he took over again he realized that there was not much work to do. The only pending thing that could not be attended to by him was the man who slept in the dungeons.

He had explicitly ordered that he should not be given water and that he should be given only a piece of meat a day. That man was a bounty hunter with many deaths behind him, he deserved nothing more worthy.

“Are you going to judge me?” He asked, staring blankly at the floor. She was sitting on the throne in the assembly hall waiting for Suho. When he entered, he looked at her so seriously that he knew what she was thinking.

"You are my Heda, I will accept everything you decide." She did not like the respectful and distant tone he used.

Lexa frowned in embarrassment and then looked at him.

For God's sake, how did they get to this?

"Is what they say true? You have sentenced a man."

"He was a murderer."

"He was unarmed!"

"Me too!" She screamed loudly causing an outrageous echo to form. Suho raised his chin indignantly. "I don't expect you to accept it because I no longer require your morality."

"You are not the same."

"Neither do you," she replied with all the pain in her soul. Suho stopped forcing his gaze relaxing her in a full of regret. He took a step toward her but she reached out, stopping.

"It won't happen again, I promise."

"I can not risk."

"You know I would give my life for you."

"I know."

"He put it in your head."

"Jungkook has nothing to do with it."

“Then why are you looking at me like I want to hurt you!” He roared furiously, causing Lexa to leap onto her throne. Her jaw clenched so tightly that blood began to collect in her head. When she saw how fearful Lexa's eyes expand, she stopped clenching her fists and straightened her regretful body.

"Have you been drinking again?" Lexa asked, leaving him speechless. Suho felt so ashamed and so insulted at the same time that he turned around and ran out of the room. Lexa pursed her lips to hold back a sob. Tears welled up in her eyes almost out of necessity out of helplessness.

"You shouldn't let a simple soldier affect your decisions." A serious voice sounded from behind her but she never took her eyes off the door.

"Suho only wants the best for me," I whisper shattered in a passive tone. Jungkook swallowed hard when he couldn't stop his emotions from overpowering his character.

"Me too." He sighed on his knees in front of her. Lexa looked at him instantly with longing. "And so, I ask you to let me protect you."

[...]

"The decision is yours," Jungkook mentioned, turning his head in her direction so that only she would get the message. Lexa maintained too insane eye contact with her attacker who lay tied hand and foot to a stick in the middle of the plaza. Just below him were the woods. Around her, the crowds screaming for justice.

"Dann*." The sentence came out so easily that it scared her. She kept a stiff expression to avoid being affected by the looks that began to haunt her.

Automatically the citizens shouted euphoric at her decision.

"Jus drein jus daun! *"

She opened her mouth, removing her sitting posture when she saw a warrior light the torch and lower it towards the branches to light them. When the fire came Lexa closed her eyes instinctively. However, feeling a glance over her, he opened them again. When she found that pair of eyes among the people her stomach clenched. Suho watched her disappointed, sad, and lost. Lexa pursed her lips as the pressure on her chest caused her eyes to water. After that Suho was disappearing among the people until no trace of him was left.

Screams of pain rang out loudly, Lexa diverted people's attention and when she looked forward her chest heaved and her eyes widened in horror. A tear ran down her cheek at the scene so macabre. The smell of burned skin was the one that urged her to get up from her seat and flee traumatized to her cabin. When she slammed the door shut, she started screaming hysterically.

By the gods what have I done?

What the fuck have I done?

She covered her mouth with her palm to keep the sobs from coming out but it was too late all she did was delay it. It was already wrong from Suho's disappointed look and that of the man ...

Holy God!

The air began to lack so badly that she began to sweat and consequently feel overwhelmed when the dress was embedded as a second skin. She reached up to her dress and pulled it out desperately. She hugged her bare breasts as the night breeze blew in through the window. Her shoulders trembled with cold and her wailing muffled moans. She closed her eyes tightly trying to calm herself but ended up opening them exasperated when she saw in the dark the image of that man burning alive.

A finger stroked the line of her spine, bristling her skin. She bit back a gasp and her body stopped shaking as the softness of lips caressed the skin of her ear.

"Are you sad?" He whispered hoarsely, allowing himself to be filled with sweetness. Her eyes closed again as a hard chest completely covered her bareback."Let me comfort you. Just let me help you forget about everything. I can do it I'm very good at it."

"Then do it," she asked without being aware of her actions. Her arms still tightened crosswise as she turned to face him. She opened her eyes slowly, meeting a gaze as dark as night. She was scared because she had gone from controlling her movements to letting go. Jungkook stretched out one of her hands to stroke her cheek with the tips of her fingers. Jungkook suddenly stopped smiling, replacing her expression with a more serene and analytical one. She stepped closer, closing the distance. Her slowness was sweet torture but deep down she was grateful that it gave her time to get used to it.

He brought his fingers to her chin and lifted her head. Lexa closed her eyes and parted her lips. Then, Jungkook bowed his head and kissed her sweetly. It wasn't a quick kiss, nor was it a proper kiss, since there was only a superficial contact. When Jungkook separated almost instantly Lexa opened her eyes weakly. Her gaze had darkened, she had grown wilder, more eager.

Lexa parted her lips again but closed them again when Jungkook pounced again this time more eagerly. The passion of the kiss took her by surprise but she didn't complain because when Jungkook opened her mouth tight to deepen the kiss she let it dominate her mouth. Jungkook's hands snapped to her waist, pulling her body forward to hit her chest.

She felt comforting heat build-up on the skin under her palm. Her hands were so large that they practically covered her entire back. Jungkook groaned and raised his hand to his face to incline him further.

Lexa gasped as she felt the tip of her tongue touch her lower lip, she wasn't even aware of what was happening until Jungkook's tongue entered her mouth to embrace hers with passion.

Lexa uncovered her arms feeling suddenly brave and brought them to the nape of her neck. He dipped his fingers through the strands of her hair and stretched them ecstatically as Jungkook reached down to his behind and knead it hard. Jungkook let out a throaty moan and leaned his body closer, holding her almost under him. Lexa took a step closer by sticking her tits to her chest. Her nipples bristled completely from the rubbing of the fabric of his shirt. Jungkook put his hand to the nape of his neck and formed a fist of hair as he opened his mouth more for a stronger kiss. Saliva gushed from their corners like a waterfall but they didn't care because the wet sound of their lips coming together was worth it. Taking advantage of his hair grip Jungkook cut the kiss in a snap. His altered breaths cooled and heated the skin of his lips creating such an exciting contrast. Jungkook rolled his eyes down his face analyzing his appearance. His cock jerked into his pants when he saw her with her mouth open as her lip trembled and her eyes narrowed with excitement. He growled desperately drawing her to his mouth eagerly. Lexa hugged the back of her neck receiving her kiss submissively.

When Jungkook again separated god two steps back to contemplate the fullness of his body. Soon his eyes delighted in the turgidity of his pale chest with spiked nipples, the wonderful line that went down to his navel from training and especially the tiny white panties with a dark stain.

"Shit, you're beautiful." Jungkook sighed gone. Lexa was too embarrassed to see the hunger in her gaze proceeding to lower her head to hide her flushed cheeks.

But Jungkook had other plans, he brought his fingers to his chin and lifted her so that he could see her eyes. Lexa held what little breath she had left after the kissing session when Jungkook gave her the warmest smile she had ever seen while as she approached, she rested her eyes on her bare breasts. When she was close enough that there was almost no distance between them, the fingers that hugged her chin went up to her mouth to run her thumb over her lower lip. "Be a good girl and let me prove you."

She pressed her lips together in a slow kiss with her tongue before abruptly parting causing Lexa to follow her mouth unconsciously.

I blink drunk with pleasure watching Jungkook guide his mouth down her cheek giving her a wet kiss that also caused her bottom to get wet. He rubbed his thighs urgently as his tongue drew a line down her lower jaw almost touching her neck. The fingers at the nape of her neck tugged at the root inadvertently causing Jungkook to growl and go on to attack her neck mercilessly. Lexa squeezed her eyes shut at the feel of his lips closing on her skin to suck. His mouth began to travel to the area of ​​her clavicle where he bit her and pampered her with kisses with his tongue.

She kept going down to the line of her breasts where her tongue slipped. Then she brought her mouth to an already erect nipple and bit into it as one hand came up to knead the other.

His hand clenched the fist of hair at the nape of his neck and pressed it to his skin. Her belly flinched as her tongue sank to her navel but what undoubtedly made her body shudder from the balls of her feet to her head was the kiss she gave on the line of her pelvis. I swallow nervously when I notice how the garment swirled around her fingers. Jungkook raised his eyes to hers to get his blessing when Lexa bit her lower lip and closed her fist on the nape of her neck. Jungkook smirked, lowering afterward still with eye contact his lips towards the stained area of ​​her panties. Then her fingers proceeded to stretch the garment down until it was jammed at her ankles. Lexa shifted her feet so that she will leave her body completely. Jungkook grabbed her leg and placed it over her shoulder. Next, he placed a small kiss on her inner thigh area. Lexa swallowed nervously when she noticed that the kisses did not stop and that they were on a descending path. She didn't know what she was doing until she jumped embarrassed when she felt his cold tongue caress her folds mischievously. A shy moan came from her lips as she ran her tongue back this time going deeper. God, never, ever, thought that someday he could feel so much pleasure. Never, ever, she thought that Jungkook on her knees could be the most exciting thing in the world. She brought her fingers up to separate her lips for better access. When he kissed her red button it swelled accordingly earning a loud moan. Lexa threw her head back at the endless sensations she began to feel. Without hesitation, he inserted his tongue into her hole making Lexa squeal and then cover her embarrassed mouth.

Jungkook laughed still with his lips pressed to her skin causing her too sensual a vibration. He brought his mouth back to her swollen clitoris to suck with force, then Lexa felt a cramp run through her body that ended up causing a ball inside her belly to explode and her body to suffer spasms. Jungkook licked him to orgasm with delight, kissed his clit again, carrying a whimpering groan from the overstimulation, and then sat up again. He brought his hands up to his waist to keep Lexa's body from rushing back. The girl opened her eyes dizzy when she felt his breath hit her nose. Jungkook licked his lips gladly tasting and tasting again the product of his orgasm causing Lexa to blush immediately.

He hooked his leg to her hip and laid her on his bed, placing himself on top of her. Afterward, Jungkook kissed her lips again ecstatically making Lexa feel his taste in her saliva. He returned his kisses down the column of her throat stopping this time in her ear to whisper hoarsely. "Your pussy is so sweet ... I wonder if it will feel like that around my cock." He caught the earlobe with his teeth and I stretch it sensually. Lexa groaned, crinkling her shirt eagerly. His hand went down her skin, ending in her pelvis, which took the boldness of a palm tree. "Open your legs more, baby."

Lexa obeyed dazedly, dizzy from so much pleasure. Jungkook stuck out his thumb and stroked her clit in a circular motion. Lexa moaned softly, opening her legs wider. Next, she sank the same finger slowly into her hole, taking another cry of complaint from the girl.

"It hurt..."

"Yes, I know ..." he whispered softly on her cheek before kissing the tip of her nose. "... but you have to prepare for my cock since your small pussy is too tight." lips. Lexa nodded slowly. She brought her hands to the area of her shoulder blades and squeezed hard when she felt another finger go through her hole. Bufo buried his mouth on her shoulder as he tried to focus on the pleasure that gradually began to lessen the sting. She moaned with pleasure, spreading her legs wider, urging Jungkook to introduce the third. Movement shoves out of her fingers soon became insufficient.

"Please Jungkook ..." she pleaded breathlessly, running her nails through the fabric of the shirt.

"Please what, baby?" He whispered with too perverse amusement as he kissed the shell of her ear and increased the movement of her fingers.

"I want ... I want ..." but she was silenced by a needy moan when a fourth finger entered inside her small vagina.

"Fuck ..." he cursed under his breath, giving her a quick kiss before getting down on his knees in front of her. She pulled the shirt over her head, exposing her wonderful puffy pecs and her wonderful chiseled belly with stone-like abs. Her legs spread wider on their own at the image causing Jungkook to growl like a horny animal as he brought his free finger up to her clit to stroke it in circles. When Lexa lashed out at her second orgasm, I swear her breath was out. With her eyes clouded she saw how she could as Jungkook got up to take off her pants. He was surprised that she didn't bother wearing underwear but all those thoughts stopped making sense when she looked down at his cock. Her eyes widened at his width and length. Her mouth practically opened by itself when she saw how big it was. She panicked because she began to doubt if that big cock would fit in her inexperienced little hole. Jungkook brought his right hand up the spine and slowly muttered himself, still looking into her eyes. He groaned plaintively at feeling so needy. I bring two fingers to her mouth and place them on her lip.

"Open her" he ordered hoarsely but very needy. Lexa opened her mouth wider allowing both fingers to enter her mouth to bathe with the moisture of her tongue. Then, he brought those same fingers to the base of his cock to stroke it over her. Jungkook moaned, nodding backward, then stared at her sharply. Lexa swallowed nervously. Then his great body fell on top of hers to give her a wet kiss. Lexa spread her legs wider so that she will be more comfortable. He circled her waist and squeezed her hard when he felt his cock hit her stomach. She almost died right there, feeling the inhuman softness of her cock's skin. He parted his lips in a wet snap and looked at her seriously again. Jungkook drove the tip of his cock into her entrance to caress her up and down to cover her with his juices. Lexa spread her legs wider and he growled, kissing her again. She parted again and sighed on her lips.

She put a hand to her chin to connect her eyes. "Tell me if it hurts and I'll stop. Please tell me."

Lexa nodded as the last answer before everything will begin. Of course, it hurt when she inserted the tip. She felt a hideous tear of skin that ached like a thousand demons. When she complained in a silent moan Jungkook froze and looked at her cautiously.

"Don't stop ..." he pleaded without air. I scratch his lower back causing him to tuck in a little more. Jungkook groaned as he lowered his nose to hers to brush against her movement. When he finally reached up to the hilt Lexa groaned in need as she gazed at him pleadingly, her eyes teary with emotion.

Jungkook rushed his lips to hers as he began his coupling slowly. Lexa broke the kiss to moan eagerly bringing desperate hands to the nape of her neck to continue with the kiss. Jungkook released an animal roar as he rolled his hips sensually and she clenched her fingers.

"Fucking tight pussy," he growled giving a deep thrust that made them both moan. Lexa began to notice how their bodies floated with sweat. Her demolishing eyes kept a frown as she increased speed. She let out an open moan before smiling wickedly over her mouth. "So good to me, my baby."

Lexa automatically brought her nails to her back and squeezed. Jungkook had just claimed as his own and although in other circumstances he would have yelled a couple of insults at him, this time, he opened his mouth more to moan.

"You sweet baby can only receive my cock." No one else's. Only mine. ”She growled in her ear, annoyed, hitting her thigh causing her to moan and jump hard. She left a path of scratches on her back that ended at the nape of her neck again. Jungkook came back to face his face with pressed noses. "Say you only want my cock. Say only this pussy can be fucked by me. ”He shouted ecstatically as he increased the depth of her hips. Lexa threw her head back but Jungkook's fingers tightened at the nape of her neck and forced her to look at him. A spanking on his butt made his moan.

"Yes ..." I sob from the force of his thrusts. "Only you ... Only you can fuck me ... Oh shit!" She screamed when her orgasm came with more force than the previous ones. She collapsed onto the bed, leaving herself at the mercy of her need.

Two more thrusts and Jungkook was jerking wildly to drop his load on her stomach.

"Shit ..." he cursed contentedly as he fell to the side of the girl's body. He covered his eyes with his forearm widening his bicep. Then he wrapped his waist around her and pulled her to his chest with his leg pressed to her hip. Lexa frowned tiredly feeling suddenly at ease when a honey scent completely seduced her.

[...]

In caresses, his finger wandered down her back from top to bottom. He couldn't stop staring at her and he certainly would never tire of admiring her natural beauty as he slept on her chest. If Jungkook was completely honest, there was no adequate sleep conciliator because his eyes did not want to close for fear that what was in front of him was nothing more than the product of a good dream. And if so, he did not want to wake up.

I gently brush stubborn strands of his cheek to better admire his profile. His face was so serene and so pure. It seemed like a mirage for how the light that filtered through the window panes reflected on his face. He looked like a clear angel that his character was far from one. Jungkook smiled at his thought. Afterward, he placed his lips gently on her forehead and hugged her to his body, growling in satisfaction as he closed his eyes.

"Ai hod yu en * ...

“Lexa, can we talk?” A male voice and the sound of a squeaking door put him on alert acting as a reflex act to catch the blanket to cover their bodies.

“Call before you come in, asshole!” Jungkook growled, radiating as he got up, helped by the support of his hand. The scandal of the voices was so disturbing that Lexa groaned sleepily and then opened her eyes.

“Mmm?” She murmured groggily as she waited for her gaze to adjust to the intensity of the light. When she did, she watched Jungkook absentmindedly, then looked at her blanket-covered body. He frowned looking in the direction he was glaring at and then saw it. To her best friend with wide eyes and a look full of pain and sadness. "Suho?" But he wasn't looking at her but at Jungkook. When her mind was fully awake, she opened her eyes in exaltation. "No, wait!" Lexa cried desperately, extending her hand forward as if she could touch him from a distance, but Suho quickly left the room with the door slamming behind her. He'll come in! "he yelled in the direction of Jungkook who frowned annoyed. It was ... It was on purpose! About last night..."

“Last night has nothing to do with this!” She roared in outrage as she denied.

Lexa blinked. "I shouldn't have trusted you," she sobbed, getting out of bed as fast as she could grab the dress, put it on over her head, and run out the door. "Suho!"

“Lexa!” Jungkook called desperately but she ignored him. When he slammed the door, Jungkook cursed, throwing the pillow on the floor. "Fuck."

[...]

"Suho stop!" Lexa ran after him, not caring about curious glances, not caring about the sharp stones that puncture his plant, but he didn't seem to care either. "I order you to stop!"

Suho stopped his body abruptly and then turned around. There was so much pain and so much anger in his gaze that Lexa gulped.

"That you want to explain you are his wife, it is normal that you take care of him." He assumed with a venomous irony so harmful that Lexa does not remember another scene in which he will behave so impulsively.

"I don't want to hurt you," she shook her head. She frowned sadly and pursed her lips regretfully. Really, hurting her was never in her plans. He never wanted to break her heart but he couldn't lie. Jungkook awakened things that he with so many years of friendship never managed to develop. He didn't know when it happened alone that it just happened like that, without realizing it.

"Well, you already have," Suho sobbed painfully before making his way back and leaving his chest tight.

[...]

The tension was palpable in the environment. He had decided to march in front of the warrior formation so as not to meet Jungkook as well as Suho. I was confused. She never had been. Her head ached from all the feelings she was unable to command. She felt happy because she had spent what would probably be the best night of her life but at the same time, she felt like a total hypocrite because her happiness had destroyed his friend.

As Lexa thought with her head down, Suho followed Jungkook's horse closely. She struck her back with so much hatred that it could form a whole. When they reached the river bank and decided to take a water break, Suho soon followed him toward the shore.

"What a coincidence that you suddenly become interested in Lexa when all you have done is harass her." He did not hide the contempt in his voice as he approached where Jungkook filled his canteen with river water flexing his knees.

“Harass her?” Jungkook asked smiling, still looking at the stream. Then she got up slowly and denied. "At least I'm able to respect your feelings, asshole."

"Because of the affection I feel, I will not allow you to play with her."

"Is that all you feel for her?" Honey? ”Jungkook replied with a dangerous grace. I raise an ironic eyebrow as I scanned his body.

"You don't know anything about me," Suho growled feeling disgusted by also feeling too observed.

"It is not difficult to know. Surely you have been in love with Lexa since childhood, you always approached with the excuse of wanting to protect her when we both know that you had other intentions."He took a break before smiling again." It must have been quite shocking to see us together in her bed."

"No, not really," Suho replied nonchalantly. Jungkook nodded in amusement. "Because I know he didn't stop thinking about me."

Jungkook gave a wicked chuckle.

"You don't think much when you fuck like that."

"Just because she was forced to marry you does not mean she is forced to love you," she replied to his laughter with a more concise and borderline. Jungkook hardened his features. "I am his best friend, do you really think that for a moment she would choose you?"

"I wouldn't make her choose to begin with," Jungkook sentenced seriously. He left there before he really lost his temper and hit the punch he so badly wanted to land on his stupid jaw. She closed her eyes trying to calm down. I really didn't want to cause Lexa more trouble.

[...]

From the bottom of his chest, he emitted a bleak sigh. Things were going from bad to worse with Suho. A couple of hours ago I had seen him leave with a group of soldiers. They had seen each other from a distance but immediately Suho looked away and then disappeared through the gates of the camp as if nothing had happened. He couldn't help but feel bad, but should he? She was so confused ... So upset with the voices in her head. She had to act like an adult and speak things or she had to act like a child and leave things to be fixed over time, no doubt, that was the worst option.

“Are you going to continue to ignore me?” A hoarse voice that he recognized instantly broke into the council room. Lexa reached up to the ends of the table to squeeze the wood.

"Because of you, I have lost my best friend." She tried to sound cold and hard but the only thing that succeeded with that was that when looking at her and observing her furrowed gaze her chest oppressed.

"You are fucking unfair, Lexa." Her annoyed voice reflected what she felt right now. Her gaze was so intense that the girl looked away like a coward. "Do you think this is easy for me?"

"What do you want? You don't even know, do you? "She snorted as her sharp words slipped with difficulty out of her lips." Last night was a mistake, I was in low spirits and you took advantage of it."

"That's really what you felt or what you've forced yourself to believe so as not to disappoint your fucking friend!"

"You don't know me." Hearing his growl, she responded with the same intensity.

"It is true because the Lexa that is in front of me now does not look at all like the Lexa that was with me last night." She perceived so much nostalgia and longing that her anger quickly evaporated from her body. She looked up and looked at him hesitantly. Why listen to him so hurt and see how his gaze hardened by his rejection developed in her a feeling of guilt that began to come out in the form of an uncontrollable tremor.

"I don't want to hurt his," she finally confessed the demons that torment her head. It was true. Suho was probably one of the most significant people in his life, if he didn't want to be a part of her anymore, surely Lexa would never meet someone so special again. But then, then there was Jungkook. That arrogant, arrogant chestnut that had not done anything since he met him always put her in a bad mood. Until last night, when she showed him with her kisses and caresses that the connection that united them from the first time she looked into his eyes was not temporary. It was her first time. Her first kiss and quite possibly the first man to shake her heart so hard. But then, she would go back to Suho again. She wouldn't approve of it and that meant she had to get away from Jungkook until she cleared her feelings.

Jungkook clicked his tongue.

"And would you rather do it?"

His words burned into her memory. Not only for the softness but also, for the sentimentality with which he had spoken. So much feeling in a damn phrase that made his come out and mix with his.

He swallowed hard. "I ...

Lots of screaming immediately distracted the two of them. They both looked at each other in alarm before running out the door. When they saw the environment at the entrance to the camp they knew that something was wrong. Lexa desperately searched the crowd for brown hair when she couldn't find it, she desperately marched towards the only soldier in her unit she knew.

"Ton, what happened?" Lexa asked, suffocated by the screams of pain from the wounded. There was one who collapsed to the ground and started screaming as if possessed. A nurse came up and helped carry him into a cabin. As the scene receded the soldier looked at him again.

"The mountain soldiers attacked us when we crossed the river," he said, agitated by the pain of his poorly healed wound in the leg. Lexa increased the frequency of her breathing almost instantly. Her eyes widened and then she asked altered:

"Where's Sohu?"

"In Jin's cabin," she pointed out quickly. She didn't even finish talking because the girl had started running towards her friend's cabin. She started to get worse. Stretching at the roots hysterically when it dawned on her that if she was in Jin's cabin that was more serious than the rest.

When she came banging the door hard against the wall, she covered her mouth when she saw her lying on a stretcher. Her shocked gaze scanned the bandage on her belly where a bloodstain leaked through the bandage more and more.

"Lexa plugs the wound so it won't bleed!" Jin shouted, suddenly appearing at her side with a needle in her hand. Lexa reacted almost as desperately with him and reached out to her friend to squeeze her belly. She immediately noticed the wetness of the blood but did not care. She wiped away her tears with her elbow and looked up at Jin who sighed. "Well, we're going to have to sew."

[...]

She caressed her cheek gently noticing the heat that had returned after the operation. Her face no longer looked so pale, recovering a little that orange color. She slept with slow breathing although from time to time she couldn't stop complaining moans from her lips.

Lexa took the cold compress from her forehead and changed it by turning around. As she felt the coolness return to her forehead, Suho sighed with satisfaction.

"You should sleep." Jungkook's voice scared her from behind but she was so tired from being awake for hours that she could hardly react. She just kept giving her unconscious friend slow strokes.

"I don't want to leave him alone," she said in a low voice almost like a whisper. Jungkook noticed the guilt in her tone besides her drooping shoulders and blinked, looked away, and closed her eyes in anguish.

"How is it going?"

"Stable but Jin says the lack of blood is going to start working," Lexa commented worriedly. She huffed in regret as she got up from the stool, turned around, and looked at him rubbing his arms to get a little warm.

"Are there no donors?"

Jungkook raised an eyebrow intrigued.

Lexa denied decay. "Sohu's blood is special not easily found."

"How special?"

"Negative rh," she whispered softly, giving him a quick glance to check that her chest continued to move regularly. Noticing Jungkook's silence, she turned to him curiously.

"Lexa, I have that blood group."

[...]

She shifted her foot restlessly as she waited outside the door of Jin's cabin. Her friend had kindly asked her to wait outside because she was very nervous and would end up distracting herself. Of course, she understood and even if she didn't want to, she listened to her. Jin was also human. She felt the same biological deficits due to lack of sleep and rest, so she decided to give her a truce and not complain.

When the door opened her friend came out with a rag in her hands that she used to remove the remains of blood.

"How is he?" Lexa asked immediately, feeling too much pressure on her head from her nerves.

"Better, now that you've received the transfusion," Jin replied relieved.

“May I see you?” He swallowed hard when he inadvertently raised his voice. Fortunately, Jin understood his situation and ended up walking away from the door.

Although his initial intentions were to walk directly to the bed when he saw Jungkook leaning on the table with two fingers tightening a small bandage on his forearm, his feet only walked towards him. When he saw her coming from the periphery, he stopped looking at Suho and focused on her.

"How are you?" Lexa said, pressing her lips together as she pointed at the area she was squeezing.

"I'm fine, a little weak from lack of blood but Jin says that in a couple of hours ...

"Thank you," he snapped, leaving him stumped. Her eyes widened longingly at his face at the current of concern that suddenly engulfed her.

Jungkook frowned. "Don't give them to me."

"Yes, because you didn't have to. You and Suho don't get along and I have misbehaved with you since we met."

"I suppose so am I," Jungkook said with false grace as he smiled. Lexa took another step, shortening the distance between their bodies without knowing the reason. She just felt too needy to be enveloped by his body heat. Jungkook straightened his body following in his footsteps. When Lexa took another step ... Suho coughed and she stiffened instantly, averting an alarming glance.

"You love her, don't you?" Jungkook said with pain accumulating in the hollow of her heart. He knew this was not the time for his jealousy but he couldn't help but feel annoyed when he saw how she was looking at him.

"I would give my life for him," she confessed as a secret.

"You should stay, maybe I'll wake up tonight." The pain in his voice was perceived by his receivers in such a way that I can't help looking at him in silence as he watched as he walked out the door without saying goodbye.

[...]

“Lexa?” Her head snapped up from her arms when I heard her sorry voice. He approached the bed and stroked her head lovingly.

"Shh, save your strength, you've lost a lot of blood."

“Where am I?” Her gaze was disoriented as she scanned the room intently.

"In Jin's store."

“Soldiers!” She jumped out of her bed, shaking her body with such force that she ended up bent over from the pang in her belly.

"Suho, calm down," she said altered as she lay him down resting her palms on his bare chest. "This offense will be returned, I swear."

"I don't want you to expose yourself more, Lexa. Please, let's go. Let's go far away. To the mountains to the south. " She did not take her eyes off as she settled herself better on the stretcher.

Lexa laughed incredulously."What do you say? I can `t go."

"Yes, you can."

Suho squeezed his hand as he looked pleadingly at her.

"Let me be your protector again." Lexa squeezed her eyes up and stood up from her stool with her back to him leaving her hand hanging on the edge of the stretcher. Suho sat carefully on the headboard and continued in her pleading tone: "I promise it won't happen again if you promise me it won't happen again either."

Lexa pursed her lips when she understood exactly what she was talking about.

"Running away like a coward is a good solution." Jungkook's voice came out loud. Lexa turned to the door as soon as she heard his hoarse voice. Jungkook advanced, approaching the stretcher where Suho looked at him with contempt. "It has been proven that wherever he goes, there will always be someone who wants to harm him." Nothing will happen to Lexa because she is under my protection now.

"She was, too, when two assassins tried to kill her," Suho said in immature reproach causing Jungkook to giggle.

"Well, at least I caught the killers." Tell me, what did you do apart from following her like a dog everywhere.

"Jungkook," Lexa chuckled immediately, taking a quick glance from Jungkook.

"I'm right, Lexa." She defended herself with pride as she returned her withering gaze to Suho. "She doesn't need a protector, she needs a man."

"And you are that man?" Suho replied with a mock too false as she swept her body with contempt.

"He's right, Sohu." Lexa added catching the gaze of the two men. "If I leave they'll think I'm running away, I'm weak and I'm afraid of them. And I'm fucking not afraid of them."

[...]

She wiped her brow from the sweat with her forearm as she walked in the scorching sun on her way to the stables. However, just as she saw the wooden structure from a distance, a nearby voice caught her attention towards a cabin.

“Lexa, do you have a moment?” Jungkook asked patiently while raising an eyebrow. Lexa looked at the stable and then looked at him again and nodded, approaching with slow steps.

"Yes, what do you want?"

Jungkook entered the cabin so Lexa had to go behind him. When she closed the door, she found her on her back.

"No one will use the council room today," he announced hoarsely, leaving her intrigued. When she turned around, she gave him a smile that made her uneasy.

-So what? What are you planning? ”He nodded at her body, distrusting her calm posture.

“Are you expecting me to do something?” He asked mischievously as he took threatening steps toward her, causing her to back off in reflex and her back to hit the wall when the ground was gone.

"No, I don't expect anything." She swallowed hard as she felt her body slowly cover her with his near heat.

"Yes?" He whispered huskily close to her face using his typical arrogant tone.

“What are you doing?” He couldn't help but giggle as Jungkook's compact thigh slipped between her legs. The seriousness he suddenly showed on her face left her paralyzed.

"I'll make sure no one touches you. You said I had to find out what I wanted. I already know it. But what do you want? Tell me? ”When he leaned his face against hers brushing her nose teasing, Lexa swore the breath left her body. She opened her mouth reflexively drawing the attention of Jungkook who looked at them instantly. He brought his fingers to her cheek and stroked her gently. He leaned her face towards his making her imitate her gesture with his eyes closed. He felt the sweet skin of her lips and opened his mouth as he did. He felt the tip of his tongue brush against her teeth when ...

"Fuck," a voice coughed at the entrance to the cabin causing their bodies to part as if they were burning. Lexa moaned in surprise and ran towards Suho who kept one hand on her stomach as her body bent forward.

“Are you okay?” She asked worriedly as she stroked his back. Suho squeezed the door handle for support and looked at her with a smile.

"Yes." He coughed dramatically again. Then, she observed Jungkook with a look full of arrogance causing her to laugh sideways. "Now you better be with me."

[...]

"Two weeks ago a message was sent to Ronald. He has responded with the attack of the river, well, let us respond as well." Jungkook shouted to the warriors who shook their weapons above as a sign of emotion.

Lexa sighed seeing how what she most feared would come was beginning to do so. Despite the joy in the environment, she could not help thinking that not all those warriors would see the sunlight again.

A horse caught her attention. She recognized the blond rider who climbed off the horse masterfully.

"Our observer has seen troop movement from the south," Jimin announced to Jungkook who nodded with the seriousness required under the circumstances. Lexa knew she wasn't the only one thinking about death, she knew it when she saw his tense shoulders.

"That they come this time will not catch us by surprise," Lexa roared loudly, taking an exciting look from the blond warrior.

"Yes, with FireHeda on our side nothing can go wrong."

"FireHeda?" Lexa asked confused but with a smile on her face.

Jungkook rolled his eyes. "Jimin, I told you you won't call her that."

“Why do you call me FireHeda?” She turned his head towards Jungkook who sighed hesitantly.

"You killed thirty savages with a single fiery arrow," Jungkook said delicately knowing that the subject was still disturbing. Lexa looked down at the ground making Jungkook feel guilty and will look back at the soldier with a serious threat in her gaze. "I'll make sure no one ever utters that name again."

"No, leave them. I like FireHeda."Lexa answered indifferently. She nodded with a small smile on her lips. She had to start making peace with her past if she really wanted to move on.

[...]

She kicked his stomach causing the man to fall unconscious to the ground. Then he wiped the sweat from his face, wiping the blood from his mouth. She sighed wearily and raised her head to watch the battle. She smiled when she saw that her warriors had escaped unharmed at the first offensive. In fact, it was not difficult to beat them. Since both her and Jungkook's were used to enduring the sun for many hours to protect crops, the summer sun did not affect them in the same way as the savages, who always lived in a cold and freezing climate.

“They're retiring!” Her squad leader shouted loudly for all to hear. Lexa looked at Jungkook instantly. They were both looking confused.

"What?" Lexa asked, busy between standing up and being able to breathe. Jungkook came to his side and although he did not process it out loud he was glad that nothing had happened to him. Between fights and fights, she had given herself the privilege of observing how she was fighting and she was more than impressed. He was undoubtedly a Heda for something. He couldn't help noticing how good his hair was tousled and bathed in sweat as his chest rose and fell in agitation. Her cheeks heated as her wicked mind reminded her that it was not the first time she had seen her like this.

A horse bolted out of the trees scaring them. Jungkook stood in front of Lexa protecting her with his body. She watched him with a small smile of excitement at his tender desperation to place her behind.

A horse stood up right where its feet were shaking in the air and then fell with the same intensity. Lexa came out of Jungkook's body to look at the mountain speaker suspiciously.

"WanHeda * wants a reunion at dawn," the man announced with superiority, looking at them with disdain still mounted on the back of his horse.

Lexa forced herself to hold back the emotion because she knew what that meant.

"Tell Ronald that the truce will be honored."

[...]

"Tomorrow it will all be over," Jungkook announced calmly as he wiped his extensive bareback with a damp towel. He swept the dirt off the ground from the turmoil of battle as she washed her face by sinking her hands into a bowl filled with soap and water.

"I keep thinking about the lives of the innocents who left in battle," she whispered, lost in her guilt, remembering the bodies that were collected and the families that would never see them again.

"Ge smak daun, gyon op nodotaim. *" Jungkook muttered softly proclaiming her attention. Lexa immediately turned around at the hoarseness of her native language. Her lips parted as her golden chest welcomed him. He wanted to bite his lip as he got closer to her his pecs moved with the movement and the muscles of his abs tightened just inches from his fingers. He forced himself to stay sane because this was not the time to lose his mind, no matter how good the chestnut tree was. "You are a good Heda Lexa." If I died tomorrow my spirit will rest in peace knowing that my clan has you.

"Don't say that," she growled softly, frowning in disgust.

"Death is the war's greatest ally," Jungkook pronounced with passive normality that frightened her, prompting her to capture his cheeks and fix his gaze on hers pleading.

"Shop op! *" He ordered, his breathing altered. "Don't talk about death when you're alive. I already lost my father, I almost lost Suho I don't know what I would do if I also lost you ...

The tremor dominated her tone of voice to the point of gradually fading towards the end. Jungkook tightened the nape of his neck and buried his face in his chest. Lexa clenched her biceps in need causing him to squeeze her harder.

[...]

She had not slept at all but passed her into Jungkook's arms while caressing her head had diminished the effects of the dream.

Jungkook looked at the door of the store with the same mistrust as Lexa. They both sighed and walked towards her. Jungkook pushed aside the cloth but he passed first as a precaution. She accepted because she did not trust Ronald at all.

Upon entering, they found the Heda sitting on a throne made of bones and decorated with bearskin. Ronald smiled hypocritically and then got up.

"I admit that you surprised me," he began to comment amused as he walked down the steps and approached them, especially Jungkook. "I'm not going to sign my surrender."

“So what the hell do you want?” Jungkook asked furiously as he stepped forward-facing up. Jungkook was much taller than Ronald so his body absorbed hers.

"I have come to give an alternative to war," he pronounced innocently, knowing that his words penetrated deeply into Lexa, who soon joined the conversation.

"Talk," she said, taking Ronald's gaze.

"The main conflict is due to the death of the previous Heda Skykru."

"Say it by his name murder," Lexa snapped with fury running through her tone. Jungkook narrowed his eyes glaring at Ronald's body as he moved away to get a better look at her.

"The war is here." Death too. But it is avoidable. As an alternative, I propose that Fireheda fight my brother. If FireHeda wins I will withdraw from the territory of the mountains, if he dies I will stay with his clan. You have until dawn to make a decision. "When she told her plans, Lexa lifted her chin and looked at him full of pride." FireHeda finished off my army with an arrow. I think dealing with a single soldier will not be a problem for her.

[...]

"It's a trap," Jungkook commented with confidence in his gaze and stretched posture.

"I know," Lexa accepted thoughtfully.

Jungkook approached her quickly causing their eyes to connect.

"You don't have to accept that you know that he has agreed because he has no other way out."

Of course, she knew. As well as that Ronald was treacherous shit that he wouldn't mind killing his own mother to get what he wanted. He had been behind his clan's territory for years, and the only thing that had frustrated his plans had been his father. Now that he was gone, he thought that he could finally fulfill his desire. Of course, it was a trap. I knew Ronald's brother well. A barbarian as tall as an old pine, cunning and scarred from training. Anyone would think she was no match for anyone but they did not count on her also flooding those rumors since the bridge attack.

"Ronald is a murderer who doesn't care about anything if it is in my power to prevent more people from dying tomorrow, so be it " Lexa accepted with will power. She raised her head so that she could look him in the eye since she had gotten too close.

"We have a pending conversation," Jungkook uttered deeply as he lost himself in her eyes. Lexa blinked weakly as she sank her cheek back into the comfort of his chest.

"After...

[...]

She shook her hands hard and automatically the muscles in her arms flailed. She twisted her neck in circles to warm the head area. Then she took a deep breath and left the store. Sunlight landed on her eyes blinding for a moment until she got used to it. The sun was shining as much as if it was giving him good luck. As she crossed the line of the arena she heard excited screams from her soldiers and also demeaning screams from the enemy. The drums were played with force following the rhythm of their walk. Upon reaching the center of the arena, he clenched his teeth as he watched Kye talk to her brother, who smiled triumphantly as if victory trickled from his mouth.

"She attacks from the left and when you knock down her defenses I want you to kill her." Keep your eyes open there is no greater weakness than underestimating your enemy. - Ronald whispered to her brother who nodded obediently. Then he walked briskly to stand beside her. A councilor from her tribe climbed onto the wooden platform in front of the field where there were two chairs. One of them was occupied by recently arrived Ronald and the other by Jungkook who was watching Lexa seriously. When she responded to his affective call he nodded giving her strength.

"In hand-to-hand combat, there is only one rule ... Today someone must die!" Shouted the counselor amid the exciting tumult of the masses. She raised her hand and lowered it with her finger pointing towards them. "You can start."

Each one walked towards her warrior to collect her weapon. Kye quickly unsheathed the sword and ran towards Lexa believing that it would catch her off guard when she did nothing but make the first mistake in battle.

Never underestimate your enemy.

Lexa masterfully unsheathed the sword as she spun nimbly, sticking her elbow out and driving it into Kye's back as he ran the blade down his right leg causing it to drop to his knees. The screams of her warriors enthusiastically urged the feat as Lexa walked to the center of the arena still on alert waiting for Kye who rose heavily from the ground.

Upon reaching her, Lexa attacked with her sword. Kye stopped the attack with her sword. It was a match worth seeing from outside. On the one hand, Kye used his brute force to destabilize her with his body. And on the other, Lexa used her wit and agility to dodge everything and return it with more force. After clashes and clashes of her screeching metal, her swords end up crossing. They slid toward the hilt leaving everything at the mercy of force. Kye pulled her teeth out and growled like a dog in anger as he tried to knock her down. Lexa crushed her feet to the ground, holding on with all her being.

When her body began to bend downwards Kye smiled. "You are finished."

Lexa clenched her teeth as she reached for Kye's sword bewildering him. Long enough for her to tuck one foot between her spread legs to drop her to the ground. Kye staggered away, dragging his body across the floor as Lexa waved her hand to ease the pain of the cut. Fortunately, she had thought that wearing gloves would be a good way to protect herself, she had thought well.

She bent down slowly and grabbed Kye's sword from the ground, climbing up next to her to threaten from a distance.

The crowd roared with excitement as Kay disoriented like a headless chicken began searching for something to protect herself from. She found it in a warrior whom she kicked to remove her sharp spear. Lexa turned the swords in midair and approached attacking first in a battle cry. Kye tried to drive the point into her belly but the attack was deflected thanks to her sword. The spear almost escaped from her sweaty fingers but she knew how to catch it in time.

Lexa kicked his leg, knocking it to the ground, but he took advantage of his position to attack hers. Lexa intercepted the attack again but the sword forcibly left her fingers, leaving only one so she was distracted for a second following the path of the sword. She received a punch in the belly causing her to double from the pain, she was kicked in the chest, knocking her down.

Kye tightened her grip on the spear and when she was about to drive it into her neck she cocked her head and was embedded in the ground. She moved her legs nimbly and stood up. She hit her jaw hard leaving her dizzy on the floor. Lexa turned, picked up the spear, and placed it on the column of her neck.

"Do what you have to do," Kye whispered in a strange tone. Lexa frowned and it was then that Kye sneakily showed him the little mirror on her wrist.

"Jus drein jus daun *," Lexa said carefully just before throwing the spear into the throne area.

The screaming stopped as the tip of the spear pierced the bowels of Ronald who did not see his last breath go out.

"Why?" Lexa asked puzzled as she offered her hand to Kye to help lift him up.

"War is not the solution. Ronald killed our parents to become Heda. I take off my family I think I see just ending his reign."

Lexa nodded, satisfied with her answer. The murderer had perished and now new times full of hope would come.

She turned to the crowd and shouted:

"Now the mountain clan will have a new Heda!"

She watched Kye smiling and she nodded in respect as her warriors screamed rather than accepted.

[...]

The parties after a battle were undoubtedly the best. People drank and sang around a bonfire regardless of gender or origin. They were only humans enjoying the end of the war. Lexa smirked as she looked around for a man named above.

But someone enthusiastically stepped in front of her making her stop.

"You've been amazing, Lexa." God those blows. Those kicks. That guy Kye was lucky not to ...

"Suho, sorry I have something to do," she cut when she saw him leaning in the distance against a tree. Suho mumbled something but she kept walking like bees towards the skin.

When he got in front of him Jungkook smiled as he raised an amused eyebrow.

"Hello," Jungkook said calmly.

"Hey," she replied with the same serenity. One that was short-lived as she immediately jumped into his arms desperately. Jungkook squeezed his body, delighting in the comfort of his small figure.

"I knew you would win," Jungkook whispered into her hair. She took off her head with her hands on her chest but still not undoing the hug.

"Ah yeah? So why did you have that scary look all the time?"

Jungkook smiled. "It wasn't because of you, it was because of Kye. Who in their right mind would dare challenge you for a ...

Her mouth was immediately closed by anxious lips. Lexa opened her mouth when Jungkook tightened her nape and brushed her tongue against his lower lip. He kissed her eagerly, eagerly as he leaned her against the tree.

"Does this answer your question?" Lexa said shaken by the recent kiss.

Jungkook smiled mesmerized as he leaned closer to whisper on his lips, "I always knew it was you."

"What?" Lex laughed confused.

"When I saw you run to the bridge and shoot that arrow, dammit, I don't think I was ever so attracted to someone." When Jungkook confessed that, Lexa's eyes widened.

"Were you there? Your...

"Yes...

Now it all made sense. The heat of his body that exuded tranquility and security. Her strong arms that she unconsciously recognized and that fucking honey smell that had driven her crazy from the start.

Lexa filled her hands to her face and cupped her cheeks excitedly.

"Why did you not tell me?"

"Would something have changed?" Jungkook said with pure amusement.

“Why did you ask me to marry you?” He waited anxiously for her answer as he frowned happily.

"I guess for the first time I didn't know how to approach a woman."

"And do you think it was the best idea?"

"Has it worked or not?"

Lexa pursed her lips thoughtfully before nodding.

"Yes, it has worked."

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[littledreamybeth]

Our little secret

A/N: Happy new year, everyone! Let's make the first post of 2020 a fluffy one! I hope you like it! I haven't properly proof read everything, so I apologize for mistakes beforehand. Comments are highly, I stress highly appreciated.

Picture does not belong to me. Credits to the owner!

“Are you ready?” It was not impossible to overlook how nervous the young couple was. Trembling fingers interlocked, they looked at each other’s faces, searching for confirmation, or even doubt. Harry couldn’t recall being this nervous. An uneasy feeling had settled in his gut since he was sitting in front of the camera. If it were up to him, he wouldn’t really do what they were about to do, however, he also knew keeping this secret forever wouldn’t help either, because at the end somebody was going to find out anyway- as usual. He had promised Y/N he would do this, and they had talked everything out. They had taken drastic precautions, doubling their security guards and placing cameras almost everywhere in their home, so he wouldn’t be worried anymore.

“Only if you are, love,” His raspy, deep voice filled the room.  

The young woman, his partner, soulmate, wife- his love, nodded.

“Alright, here we go…” She gave her sister-in-law, Gemma, who was standing behind the camera, permission to start the recording.  The brunette woman held her thumbs up, smiling assuringly and encouragingly at the couple. Harry squeezed Y/N’s hand in comfort before he let go of her. He knew she was going to articulate with gestures. Besides, he needed to calm down himself. He was sitting there, his body in a tensed form. He had to relax. Breathing deeply in and out, the British man and his wife stared into the camera.

Here goes nothing...

“Hello everyone!” It was Y/N who spoke first. She was going to speak more since it was mostly about her. “Welcome back to my channel! I know it has been a very long while since I’ve posted anything, and I’m aware that many of you guys were concerned for me. I just vanished out of nowhere after all.” Not that anything bad had happened, no- she had a reason for all of that. But one thing after another, right?

“I highly appreciate your worry, guys. I know I owe you an explanation, and here I am, finally giving you one.” Harry’s wife had started a YouTube channel after they got together, uploading videos so that his fans could get to know her better. She was the person who rather spoke through actions than words. The amount of love she received was mind-blowing. She had never expected the support. Her videos always reached millions of views. Some of them were even with Harry and her doing couple stuff or challenges. If it wasn’t for his love, Harry would never agree to things like this. He’s private as we all know.

“First things first, I’ve seen many people speculating that Harry and I allegedly divorced, but as you can see, Mr. Styles is sitting right next to me and I’m still wearing my ring.” She pointed at the diamond ring on her finger. “I’d like to happily confirm that your assumptions about us were wrong.” She leaned over to give a kiss on his cheek, sensing how tense he was. She whispered “It’s gonna be fine” into his ear, running her hands through his brown locks before she focused on what was in front of her.  

“I want to get to the point quickly,” She stressed. “The reason why I disappeared, why I never have accompanied Harry to any special event for the past year, why I wasn’t active on social media, is because something has happened that changed our lives forever. Today, we want to share it with you.”

It was Harry’s cue to stand up, walking behind the camera to have Gemma handing him over something, or even better, someone. When he came back and sat down, he had a bundle of joy in his arms, wrapped up in a pink blanket. The tiny human being underneath, who was sleeping before her father came to get her, let out a little whimper of protest for interrupting her sleep. Harry weighed her back and forth, shushing her softly. “It’s okay, angel.”

Harry’s eyes were full of love for this little miracle. Everybody could see it. He basically had her name written in them. Whenever, their baby girl was mentioned, his eyes lit up and a large smile covered his lips. What could he say? He was a proud daddy.

Y/N blended out the camera for a second and reached out to play with her daughters tiny fingers, then directed her attention back to it. Flustered, she said, “World, meet Olivia Rose Styles. Our daughter…”

She could imagine the amount of confusion and shock their announcement would create. People for sure wouldn’t stop talking about this for weeks. (Online) Magazines and newspapers would report about them. And Twitter? Twitter was going to freak out. She chuckled at the thought.

“It’s true, people,” Harry confirmed, his attention tightly fixed on baby Styles. “We’ve become mummy and daddy.”

“Yeah, we’re parents.” Y/N nodded her head. “That’s why I disappeared. Because I was pregnant. We wanted to keep it a secret.”

It was pretty easy to hide her baby bump in the first couple of months due to the fact that she wore and always loved to wear oversized clothing. Her entire wardrobe consisted mostly of oversized shirts and pullovers, and a few of Harry’s belongings. But the bigger her belly became, the harder it was to cover up the evidence. So, she decided to step out of the spotlight and enjoy her pregnancy to the fullest without any factors that stressed her out. Y/N belonged to the category of people who were easily stressed over the tiniest things; reading negative articles or tweets about her alone was enough to drive her insane, and because she knew that everything stressing her out would also affect the baby, Harry and her had agreed that she lived somewhere else with a better environment; a place where people wouldn’t chase after her and follow every step she did. Not that they would ever admit it, but Harry had bought an island for his Y/N as a wedding gift before they got married (he even ordered to build a house there), and that’s where she had retreated to for the rest of her pregnancy.  She really loved nature. Lying at the beach whenever she pleased felt so refreshing. Knowing that no one was going to snap pictures of her made her feel at ease. Being out of civilization, far away from negative influence, was very therapeutic for her. She attempted to use less social media, or media in general, only requiring it if she wanted to watch a certain event that Harry attended. Of course, she wasn’t all alone. Her husband would never let her. Instead, Harry had bodyguards around her that kept watching her and made sure she was safe when he wasn’t around. Anne and Gemma also kept her company. Harry, on the other side, couldn’t spend much time with her as he hoped, because of tons of work. He at least tried to leave the weekends unoccupied so that he could be with his wife. When it came to the control checks and appointments, Y/N was flown back to the city, with strict measures taken in order to keep her hidden. Or sometimes, her doctor would pay her a visit.

“This was my first pregnancy, and I wanted it to be a memorable experience. I wanted to be at peace, and vanishing seemed the only solution for me.”

Gemma’s voice behind the camera rang. “Explain why you’ve never been seen at a hospital.”

“Oh yes! I almost forgot about that. I gave birth at home!”

Harry, diverting his attention to the camera lens, added, “And it was truly an amazing experience.”

The day, Y/N delivered her baby, both of their mums, Gemma and a midwife were present. Their fathers were waiting outside the room, because Y/N found it embarrassing to give birth in front of her father, or in front of Des. It was painful and exhausting, robbing all strength in Y/N’s body. Harry couldn’t bear to see his poor wife in pain; he felt completely powerless over the situation, only holding his love, encouraging her and eventually, crying with her. He even blamed himself for putting her through so much ache. But, the moment they heard the shriek they were desperately waiting for, the young man completely broke down. When he held her for the first time, his heart felt so full and complete.  She looked like a copy of him, a baby version of himself. And her eyes… a shade of bluish- green.

“For the last three weeks, Harry and I have argued back and forth whether we make a wise decision,” She explained. “We discussed the advantages and disadvantages, and to be completely honest with you; even though the cons overweighed, we still decided to share out little secret with you before some strangers have the chance to release unpermitted information.”

Now that Y/N returned back from the island to their home, the chances of being discovered with a stroller was high. Besides, they didn’t plan on keeping Olivia in between four walls; they planned nice family trips for the future, so addressing their secret was the best.

Harry added, “We are in constant worry about her. You cannot really expect what people can do with an infant, especially if it’s my child. I hope you can understand that we don’t want anyone, except for family and friends, around her.” His expression became hard, his eyes transforming into an intense shade of green and his voice deeper than ever. “I may be kind, and don’t address certain things, but even I know how to destroy people’s lives, so be warned. If you come any closer to my daughter, I’ll end you.”

His statement startled Y/N. She had never experienced him like this before. Overprotective.  She looked at Gemma, who shared the same emotion as her. Y/N pulled herself together and continued talking. There was another point she aimed to address.

 “Please, don’t expect me to pull out the Kylie Jenner card and release a pregnancy journey video after all of this, because it’s not gonna happen,” Y/N informed, shrugging her shoulders. “Sorry, not sorry guys. The past couple of months have been the most joyous and adventurous period of my life, something very special and intimate, and I don’t want to share it with the world expect for the people involved- our family and friends. That’s why I ask for acceptance and understanding.”

Indeed, Y/N had every moment recorded. Sometimes, she would even send a video to Harry while he was at work, mocking him for how much he was missing out. One day, she had sent him footage in which baby Styles had kicked for the very first time, and it had Harry almost jumping out of his socks. It had been in the middle of a meeting with his band when he had received the message. He had gasped loudly, covering his mouth in shock which had attracted everyone’s attention and having them stare at him confusedly. Harry, on the contrary, had tears pooling his eyes. And being the little show-off he is, he went around and proudly showed everybody what his unborn daughter was capable of doing now- not forgetting the occasional ‘That’s daddy’s girl!’ leaving from his pink lips.

“We don’t want anyone to expect too much from us. We are against the idea of sharing pictures online until she has reached a certain age, and we insist that this should be okay for everyone.”

The baby in Harry’s arms slowly became restless, a cry escaping her throat. Everyone took this as a signal to end the video. “Thank you guys for watching this short announcement video. Take care of yourselves, and please don’t overreact too much, okay? Bye!” Everyone winked at the camera, and the recording was done.

After the video was cut and properly edited, Y/N posted it on her channel. Not a even a minute had passed before it had scored thousands of views. Scrolling through the comment section, Y/N chuckled at the fans’ reactions.

Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr… every social platform was a mess. She received lots of comments on her accounts. Famous artists and influencers reached out to her, congratulating them for the new addition to the family.

It was just as Y/N expected; the world was going crazy…

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