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#we wanted to eat OUT for a REASON we do not feel like COOKING
sweetestdesire · 3 days
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AN ACCIDENTAL INCIDENT
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WARNINGS: absolutely none. Just some pure, sweet content.
PAIRING(S): Jack Hughes x Fem!Reader
SUMMARY: in which Jack Hughes accidentally makes a mess in the kitchen.
Jack Hughes, the man who happened to be one of the strongest hockey players of his time, felt his knees shake a little from fear. He watched the twist of the doorknob, glancing slowly around the kitchen and the mess he’s made, and gulped before sending a little prayer to whoever was listening. 
It didn’t take a genius to know he was in for an earful once Y/N saw this mess, but this also meant that he might just sleep on the couch. And then that meant no cuddles. And then that meant he won’t sleep well. And then that meant he’ll be sulky. And then that meant Jack will make a snide comment at his expense. And overall, he wasn’t really looking forward to subjecting himself to getting his feelings hurt like this. 
So, in ever so Jack-Hughes-fashion, he put a grin on his face and a pep in his step as he clambered up to Y/N, pressing two wet kisses to her cheeks while he greeted her. “Hey, pretty girl. You’re home.” He grinned, pressing more kisses along her jaw. “I missed you so much. I was starting to think you were never gonna show up.“
Y/N raised an eyebrow at his pout, rolling her eyes before letting the smile she’d been fighting off spread across her lips. With a shake of her head as she snorted and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, and Jack’s knees were a little wobbly again, but this time for completely different reasons. 
“Jack, maybe I’ve just been plotting to run away since the first day we moved in together.” Y/N teased, poking his lips as he pouted again. 
“Well, I love me a good chase.” He winked. “I’ll even give you a head start. Not that it’ll help, anyway. You’re far too slow. Ow, that fucking hurt.” He whined dramatically as she swatted at his shoulder. 
“No, it didn’t.” Y/N chuckled, forehead leaning against his as she smiled. It was soft, a little lopsided from pure glee, a little extra in love today than it was yesterday.
Jack almost forgotten about the mess in the kitchen, almost forgotten about the egg yolk on the ceiling and the salt he’s spilled all over the floor. Something about the way Y/N traced over the back of his neck with one hand and cupped the apple of his cheek with the other as she pulled him in for a sweet, slow kiss made the thought fly out of his head. Then, she suddenly pulled away and turned around right for the kitchen, right where the mess was. 
“Wait, baby, why don’t you go freshen up?” Jack tried to yank her by the arm. “I’ll order us something to eat tonight. I don’t want my girl to have to cook right after a long, exhausting, draining day, now do I?”
“Jack, what the fuck happened to my kitchen?” Y/N cut him off and asked sharply, making him stiffen. 
Jack Hughes was sure that if there was one thing in this world he was most scared of, it was her wrath. And right now, something told him he was about to feel a whole lot of her wrath. “I was attacked.”
“In the kitchen?” Y/N raised an eyebrow, arms crossing. Her hips did a little slant as she glared at him, and if he wasn’t so woeful that this might just mean a one way trip to the couch tonight, he might just grin at how adorable she looked.
“Yes.” Jack nodded seriously. “I was just minding my business, as one does in their kitchen, and suddenly, I was attacked. Y/N, I defended our kitchen with all I had.”
“Oh, I see.” Y/N nodded slowly, making him gulp as she narrowed her eyes. “And you were not only snuck up on in our kitchen, but you had to give it your ‘all’ to keep safe.” She looked him dead in the eye, and he was sure if looks alone could kill, his whole lineage would have died three times over by now. “Some protector, you are.” She said dryly. 
“Now that’s just mean.” Jack whined, wrapping his arms around her as he buried his nose into the crook of her neck. And even though she wanted nothing more than to desperately wrap her own arms around him, she stood painfully still. She couldn’t let him win everything with a sickeningly cute pout and sweet words all the time. “I was blinded by the pain of missing you so bad. It threw me off my game.”
Y/N couldn’t help but cave, couldn’t help but let the small grin on her face turn into a large beam, and couldn’t help what started as a giggle bubbling up her throat turn into soft laughter that rung through their home. When her arms snaked around his waist and brought him just a little closer against her body, when her lips found the side of his head and planted a small kiss through a smile, and when the sound of her voice met his ear in a soft hum, his heart only grew larger with every new moment she gifted him. So, Jack hugged her tighter, grinning when her hand threaded through his hair as he pressed a little kiss to her neck.
“You better clean my kitchen as valiantly as you defended it.” Y/N warned, poking his shoulder. He huffed, nuzzling his nose into the crook of her neck deeper. He could smell the faint smell of her perfume, and it was the same scent he was used to, it never changed and he hoped it never did.
“Don’t you wanna help?” He poked her hip. “I was all alone when I fought for our kitchen.”
“Nope.” Y/N grinned. “I’ll let you take care of it. And while you’re at it, go ahead and order out. Like you said, you’re paying.” And after a kiss to his temple, she pulled away with a cheeky little grin and left him there in the hallway. And he smiled, staring at the pictures on the walls and the shoes at the doorway, and sighed happily at the way the apartment was never lonely. Not with her.
“Looks like I’m not sleeping on the couch tonight.” Jack mumbled to himself in victory. 
“I wouldn’t be so sure.” Y/N called from the bedroom, and almost like she knew he was pouting once more, the sound of her giggle rang through their home.
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mykoreanlove · 3 days
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⛽ 
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“Snugglepuss, can I lay on your stomach?”
Minho was cuddled next to you on the couch, safe and sound under the heavy blanket.
“Snugglepuss?”, you asked confused. “The hell is that?”
Minho’s eyes lit up, proud to explain the new nickname he got for you.
“Babe, that’s self-explanatory. Snuggle because we love to cuddle and be close and puss because… you know.”, he smirked naughtily.
“Oh my god!”, you erupted in laughter. “Don’t ever call me that again!”
“What? Why not?!”, he asked offended.
“I don’t know Min, it just sounds wrong.”
“You’ll get used to it, Snugglepuss. So, can I lay on your stomach?”
He looked at you with big, expectant eyes – wanting to claim his favorite body part of yours.
“No, sorry.”
You turned around and faced the TV again, focusing on the drama you were watching.
Minho furrowed his brows, feeling rejected and not understanding why.
“Why though? Let me lay on your stomach, y/n. Please?”
You weren’t one to deny him any requests, after all you were head over heels in love with him. His character, ever so ambivalent, made you fall for him instantly. His dark, ominous side he showed to the world paired with his kind, affectionate side reserved for his special ones lured you in instantly.
“I just don’t feel like it, Min.”
Each word coming out of your pretty mouth confused him even more. He had laid his head on you multiple times – what had changed?
“Don’t you like it anymore, y/n?”
The hurt in his voice pained you, but you couldn’t explain to him what was going on. Minho had spent half of the day in the kitchen, preparing a feast for the both of you. His cooking resembled his fucking – mouth-watering, tasty and exquisite. The two of you had been eating for five, totally immersed in the savory flavors and textures.
“I do. Just not now.”
You shuffled under the blanket, folding your hands over your stomach. Minho dropped the topic, for now. He kept observing you, taking in every detail like a cat.
Your hands on your stomach, like a protective barrier.
The rumbling of your stomach, silent yet detectable.
The unwell look on your face, stealing the peaceful expression he usually saw.
It didn’t take him long to figure out the real reason, much to your discomfort.
“Y/N”, he said sternly.
You turned around and faced him, serious eyes piercing through you.
“You don’t want my head on your tummy because we just ate, is that it?”
Your face turned white.
“Did you not tolerate the food?”
“Min, no. Your food was exceptional, really. It’s just..”
“Tell me. Now.”
You sighed defeated.
“My organs are just working and processing, I guess. I don’t want your head near my stomach as long as it’s not safe.”, you explained embarrassed.
Your boyfriend erupted in laughter, filling the whole room with his maniac laugh.
“You’re afraid of farting in front of me. I can’t believe it.”
You clasped your hands in front of your face, too embarrassed to face him.
“Y/N”, Minho grabbed your hands and freed your face jokingly.
“You know I think it’s cute.”
“What is?”
“You being afraid of farting, babe.”
“Oh my god, can you stop saying that. Min, please.”, you whined.
“Farting baby. Farts. Farty fart. My farting baby. Fart for me?”
“Okay, okay, okay!”, you hastily covered his mouth while he was laughing his ass off.
Minho grabbed your hands again and kissed your knuckles tenderly, looking into your ashamed eyes.
“I don’t want you to be ashamed because of normal bodily functions, y/n. You fart. You poop. That’s how digestion works, baby. I’d be more worried if you didn’t do any of those things.”
You flinched at his words, not really knowing why.
Who had told you to be ashamed of those things?
“And also”, he continued kissing your hands. “You have to overcome this habit because I want us to last. To last forever, actually.”
Your eyes widened in surprise; this was the first time you heard him verbalizing that.
“Were you doing it secretly all this time?”
Minho chuckled as he watched your reddened cheeks, confirming his theory.
“Let me guess, all those stomach aches were also because of this?”
You looked down, feeling ashamed of yourself.
“Oh, sweet baby”, Minho’s thumb glided over your jaw, making you look up at him.
“I don’t want you to hide parts of yourself. Not for me. I want you to be yourself. Always.”
Your hand reached for his, squeezing lightly.
You weren’t the best at verbalizing your emotions, but he always understood you by your body, deciphering you like a book.
“I love you, Min.”
His features softened even more, looking at you fondly.
“Prove it.”, he commanded.
“Ugh, fine”, you sighed annoyed and repositioned yourself on the couch, pointing to your stomach.
“Lay on Snugglepuss’ tummy, then.”
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gauloiseblue · 16 hours
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Gaz x cook!reader. We all can tell army food is shit but dam can you make a bowl of mush taste like heaven. And it seems your skills have gotten through the belly and to the heart of the 141's pretty boi leaving him head over heels for your adorable form. Dressed in a head scarf, to keep hair out of your face, and an adorable apron brought from home all he wants is that pretty smile directed at him.
A/N: I noticed that cook!reader has become a trend in this fandom nowadays? Not that I'm complaining. Also, *crack my knuckles* it's time to write a jealous boy
The first time he tasted the food at the new base, he thought his tastebud was playing trick on him. Because there's no was a mere rice could taste this good.
But his confusion only lasted for a second, because he saw his friends made the same expression.
"Bloody hell," His captain grunted, "I don't mind gettin' tough missions if I get to eat this food everyday."
"Cheers to that." He chuckled as he scooped a spoonful of rice.
At that time, he didn't know who were the cooks yet, but he's determined to find out.
The kitchen in the military base isn't as strict as restaurant's one, so people can come in and out of the room. He uses that opportunity to pay a 'visit' to where you're stationed.
Judging by your uniform, you're not the head of the chef. But the one who runs around, checking each of the stations is you. He spots a few soldiers who stand at a distance (he soon found out that it's for hygienic reason, to minimize the contamination in the kitchen) while trying to talk with you. Unlike a cold-faced chef who hates distractions, you politely respond to them, while focusing on your job at the same time.
That sparks something in him, as he finds himself wanting to get to know you. But he knows better than disturbing you in your working hour.
Those soldiers might be lucky to get your attention for now, but he's confident that he'll get thrice as much sooner or later.
The kitchen's busy at the time when the soldiers are on the break, but when it's time for training, you and the other chefs would get the time to rest. So he, as a member of the special force, gets the privilege to arrange his schedule.
He starts his training earlier, so by the time he finishes, he'll get the time to visit the kitchen. The chefs like to hang out at the break room, but when he walks in, he finds that you're not there, so he goes to the second location.
In the back of the kitchen, there's a pantry where the food ingredients are stored. He had a feeling that you'd be there, so he went there.
And he's right.
You had just checked the tomatoes when he knocked on the door. The sound makes you jump, as you look at the open door with wide eyes.
"Sorry," He raises his hand to calm you down, "Didn't mean to scare you."
"Oh." You clear your throat, "It's fine. I just… didn't notice you there. Do you need anything?"
"No." He smiles, "I came to say that I loved today's lunch. It's the most delicious food that I've had all week."
You blush upon hearing his words, "You flatter me, thank you."
"So what are you cooking for tonight?"
"I was thinking about making beef goulash, but I noticed that we still have chickpeas, so," You hum as you think, "It's either of the two."
"You're making Moroccan beef stew?" He raises his brow at you, and you nod.
"That's what I'm planning to. I haven't decided yet." You said, "What do you think?"
"You know which one I'd pick." He grinned as he picked the paprika, "You have enough cilantros?"
"Of course." You giggle as you take the veggie from him, "It's settled then."
Since that day, it becomes a habit of him to visit the kitchen and talk to you for an hour or two. You're shy at first, but once you're comfortable with him, you become a lovely chatterbox. You'd talk to him about foods, kitchen operations, and plans for dinner. Breakfast and lunch menus are already handled by the head chef, since they require not much of a job. But the dinner is entirely your responsibility, since it's the most varied meal of the day.
"What do you think is the most important asset for a cook to have?"
"I don't know. Hands?"
You shake your head, "Try again."
"Hmm, let me think." He closes his eyes, while pretending to ponder on, "Brain?"
"Wrong." You laughed.
"What is it then?"
"Tongue." You replied as you pointed at our mouth, "You won't have any idea how good your food is if you can't taste it."
"Is it really?" He chuckled, "Then what about knife skills? Or time management?"
"They're also important to have, but at the end of the day, taste is all that matters." You tilt your head, "Right?"
"Can't argue with that."
One day, he's caught by Price when he's about to leave after training.
"You've been leaving awfully soon these days," He stops at his track as he feels his captain's gaze on him, "Does it have something to do with the cook?"
He sheepishly grins, as he turns to his mentor, "Maybe."
Price studies his face, before letting a long sigh, "You're dismissed. But—" He interjected before he could leave, "You better tell her to make shepherd's pie."
He chuckles at the request, "Not tonight, Cap. Maybe tomorrow."
When he arrives at the kitchen that day, he sees you already in your apron. You're about to put your hair in the head scarf when you notice him standing at the door, with his mouth slightly open.
"Hi." You greeted him as you smoothed out your hair, "I need to do a little bit of prep, so I start earlier."
"Oh… I see."
"You can stay, though." You shot him a smile, as you fixed your headband, "I could use some company."
"Don't mind me then."
He takes the seat near your counter, watching you as you bring up the large pan.
"Need a hand?"
"No." You said with a grin, "I'm pretty strong, you know."
He snorts in amusement when you show him the muscles in your arm, which is clearly less defined than his, or even any private's.
"I know, but I'm sure you could use some help."
"I'm fine." You told him, "Besides, I don't have any spare aprons."
"What a shame." He feigned a frown, so bad that it made you laugh.
"Well," You spoke as you started to chop the onions, "Entertain me then. Tell me about your training."
There's not much to talk about, since his training was meant to be watched, not described. He doesn't tell much, but he mentioned the little chat that he had with the Captain.
"He wants cottage pie?" You raise your brows with curiosity, "I can make that, but we gotta wait until we get the right meat."
He mutters a small response, as he watches you cut the chickens into four pieces. You show such a focused expression, that he can't help but think if you're gonna make that face when you're making the shepherd's pie.
All of the sudden, the little remark that his Captain made isn't as nice as it sounded before.
"Why'd you stop?" You looked at him when you noticed that he's been quiet for a while.
"Nothing." He replied, "I just remembered that I don't like meat pie."
"That's too bad." You frowned, "Don't worry though, cottage pie isn't really a meat pie."
He stares at you, and thinks about his Captain's request. He wouldn't say that he's being generous, but in this case, he was.
"I know, but I like your stew better."
"You're so sweet." He saw your eyes crinkled as you chuckled, "We'll make that Moroccan stew again, yeah? Or do you want something else?"
He felt his chest swell when you asked him the question. You offered to cook for him, you'd cook what he wants.
Perhaps you had asked that question to someone else—someone who has visited your kitchen longer than him—but he didn't care.
For the first time in his life, he doesn't feel like sharing.
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cliveguy · 7 months
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Ok becoming an adult is understanding why it's rude to be a housemate who hides from their other housemates and never speaks to them
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pathsofoak · 2 years
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I have discovered the reason I am the epitome of "I will not eat new foods ever" is because my parents make sure whenever they make a dish I've never had before, that there is something in there I can't stomach to "teach me to eat it"
I'm autistic lmao. It's been almost 19 years now, you're not gonna magically cure me from picky eater-ness by still forcing me stay at the table until I finish my plate of something that contains taugé, or whatever that's called in English.
Seriously I get it's annoying when you cook and someone doesn't like it but like. It's a) not your fault, and if you're the parent/caretaker of this person it's b) your responsibility to not make your kid dread eating anything other than bread and rice cakes because you keep pressuring them to eat "normal food"
#*ACTUALLY stomps foot for a tantrum*#potatoes. just give me potatoes#(I can't cook for energy reasons btw that's why they're in charge of food. still)#I would eat more if I didn't absolutely dread dinner time. much less eating a stranger's place#potatoes or some non crunchy veggies like broccoli. I like broccoli. especially when it's a bit roasted#tomato paprika and mushrooms are an absolute no#(unless it's tomato sauce and not too much of it)#and spinach but I'm allergic to that one so sometimes that one gets left out#I wish there was some tool that just KNOWS what I will and won't like without me having to#either contain myself in front of people because there's a few textures and tastes that make me want to puke#regardless of how good a cook someone is. so I always feel bad#or that situation where I sit at the table for an hour and quietly sneak my food into the green trash once everyone else gets bored#to eat a quick sandwich instead#I've actually accidentally trained the ability to tell when I'm full out of me#because (I still do this btw) I would always lie and say I was full to get out from under dinner#so now my stomach can't tell anymore. You put Macaroni (unless it's carbonara) in front of me? *full*#this became a bit of a rant lol#btw when I say *normal food* up in the post#by my parent's definition that's either italian or chinese food. even though. WE ARE NEITHER. like. don't call that#*normal food* in my face when I like literally every type of fucking stew you refuse to let me eat#sorry for the rant again lmao
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getosbigballsack · 22 days
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Random thought! - Husband Gojo x Wife Reader-chan #inside the diary
Hear me out! Gojo read your thoughts in your diary and came to realize that he was a terrible husband to you.
He knew he was a good lay, hence the reason he managed to knock you up three times. But as of lately, he came to realize that you weren't interested in having sex with him.
At first, he thought it was just because you were too tired, having to take care of the kids while he works, all day by yourself (in which he understands, and he praises you for being such a wonderful mother).
But that wasn't the case. He just happened to come home early from work while you were out shopping with the kids, and he got a hold of your diary.
Interestingly, he took it upon himself to skim through the pages of your book, just to see what's inside your little head. Nothing out of the ordinary, just little notes and reminders to yourself about the task you had to complete and a few words of encouragement here and there.
He usually doesn't read through your thoughts, always thinking that if you had an issue you'd come and talk to him, so he was about to put your diary back where he found it because he didn't want to pry further into your thoughts, but that's until one page in particular caught his eye.
I find it difficult to enjoy sex with my husband nowadays and I don't know why?
Words in blue handwriting are written beautifully on the paper. He kept on reading, and as he continued to move further down the line, he felt his heart break.
It’s just me, but I don't think I'm attractive enough to have sex with my husband.
I wanted to suggest the last time we had sex [that was a month ago], but I didn't wanna ruin the moment for him because he looked like he was having fun.
Satoru came home today and wanted to have sex. I told him no. He never forced himself on me. He only kissed me goodnight and left to go sleep in the guest room. I know he was upset but did he really have to leave?
It's been 2 months, and Satoru hasn't tried touching me since that night. Am I not worthy of loving anymore? He doesn't even buy me flowers anymore or take me out on dates.
He doesn't compliment me anymore, doesn't tell me that I'm beautiful. He doesn’t even call me baby girl, doll or even honey.
No more I love you, only kisses to the forehead and peck on the lips before he leaves for work in the morning.
He comes home late, I'm always alone with the kids, no more family dinners, no more kitchen, bedroom, and bathroom conversations. No more late-night kisses, no more holding me tightly in his arms while he sleeps.
Does he not want me anymore?
Sometimes I wanna visit his office with the children but I’m afraid that he’ll find my presence a bit annoying. I feel lonely without him here with me.
I should've said yes that night and spread my legs for him,
That's my duty as his wife.
To have fulfilled all my husband's needs without complaint.
But it hurts to have sex, I'm just not in the mood. I'm too tired, I just need my husband to hold me, but he's not there.
I can't complain, he's the reason I don't have to work.
But is it so bad to ask my husband to love me without having the need to touch me?
The last entry to your diary reads.
I'm going to do it today, bare the pain and have sex with my husband, just so that I can feel his love once again. 
Now he knows the real reason you won’t have intercourse with him, or let's say the reason you don’t enjoy having sex with him. You feel as though he doesn’t love you anymore, and he needs to fix that. So, until he can figure out a way to prove to you just how much he loves you, he’ll have to deprive himself of your warm loving touch. 
Later in the day when you came home with the kids, you saw your husband cooking up a storm in the kitchen. “Hey baby girl, want something to eat? It’s been a while hasn’t it.” too stunned to even say a word, you just watched as your kids, ages 3, 4 and 6 ran over to their dad and engulfed him in a big hug. He giggled and stopped whatever he was doing to bend to his children’s height and kissed every single of them on their cheeks. “Hey boys. Did you all take your mom out shopping today?” Oh, that’s right you’re a boy mom. You managed to pop three boys, all of them came out looking just like their dad, especially your eldest son. 
The boys chatted away with their dad until he excused himself and walked over to you and wrapped his arms tightly around your body. You're in a state of shock, unable to move for a moment until he whispers, “can I get a hug back?” and you did give him a hug. 
“Welcome home, have a seat, dinner’s almost ready. I cooked vegetable curry today, I know it’s your favourite,” and indeed it is your favourite. For the rest of the day, he spent time in the kitchen cooking while chatting with his kids, not without taking small glances at you. You all ate dinner together, got the kids ready for bed when night falls, before preparing for bed yourselves. 
You remembered that you wrote in your diary that you were about to try and have sex with your husband, all for the sake of feeling his love again, but that didn’t happen. Instead, you found your husband already waiting for you on the bed, fully dressed in pjs, a cup of your favourite tea in his hand and a warm loving smile on his face. 
He immediately started up a conversation with you, asking you about your day and your trip to the shopping centre. You had no clue what was going on inside your husband’s head, but it’s been a while since he last sat down and had small conversations like these, and you weren’t about to miss this opportunity. 
So with a smile on your face, you told everything that happened today and even the fact that you had to buy a bag of grapes you had no intentions of buying, but you did so because your 3 year old son stole and ate a few while you picked up a bag of oranges. The conversation went all a while until he sighed. 
“Y/N,” he whispered in a serious tone. “We need to talk. I was going to wait until tomorrow, but I can’t bear the fact that my wife would be going to bed with doubts about our relationship and my love for you.”
You swallow thickly and rest your now empty cup against the nightstand before turning to face your husband fully. He reached his hand out for you, and you gently placed your left hand in his. He wrapped his large hand around your finger and gently pulled you until you were straddling his lips. You swallowed that thick lump yet again, before whispering, “So what is it that we need to talk about.”
“Why do you always refuse to communicate your feelings with me?” he asked as he let go of your hand and wrapped both hands around your waist and rested his head up against your chest. “I know I haven’t been a good husband to you these past few months, but I don’t want you to think that I don’t love you or that you’re not worthy of loving.”
“I don’t understand what you mean.”
He sighed heavily before taking a deep breath. “I found your diary in the living room when I got home, and I read through your notes.” Your body tensed up in his lap, your mind immediately racing towards negative thoughts. Is he angry? Why did you have to carelessly leave your diary out in the open for him to see. 
“Oh!”
“I’m sorry for reading through your diary, but I’m happy that I did because my wife won’t communicate with me,” he said with a frustrated sigh. 
You frowned, “Would you have listened even if I tried?”
“I would’ve dropped everything and listened to whatever it is that you have to say. I know it's my duty to ensure that my wife is living her best happy life, and that it’s also my responsibility to take care of your wellbeing, but I can’t always know what's going on with you if you don’t communicate with me.” 
Communication on your end has always been a big issue in your relationship with your husband. It bothered him and he’d hope that after a while you would’ve grown out of your bad habit, but he guess he’s wrong, because here you are now after 8 years of being a relationship total and that includes the four years of marriage, and 3 kids later, you still struggling to figure out a way to communicate your feelings with him. 
“I broke my heart when I read that you thought that as my wife, your duty is to only provide for me sexually or even the fact that you don’t think that you’re attractive enough to have sex with me. What hurts me the most is that you have so many doubts about my love for you. Y/N you know that I love you right?”
“I do,” your voice trembled slightly as you answered. 
“Then why are you doubting my feelings for you? I apologise for leaving you to sleep in the guest room that night, it was wrong of me to be upset all because you told me no.” There was a moment of silence, you figured he was waiting for a response in which you never gave.
“I know I don’t say this as much as I need to, but I love you. I LOVE YOU so very much. I love you as my best friend, my wife and I love you even more as the mother of my children.” Tears started to obstruct your vision as you stared off at your wedding portrait that was above your bed and listened as your husband poured his hurt out to you. 
“I need you to stop thinking that you are not worthy of loving because you are more than worthy. You’re an amazing woman, an amazing wife, and an amazing mother to our children. Just the fact that you're a mother makes you worthy of loving.” 
“Satoru… I- I,” you stuttered, trying to formulate the words inside your mouth, but even if you did, what are you going to say to your husband? You had not one clue. 
“I’m not a mind reader Y/N, so you need to start communicating your feelings with me, because if you don’t tell me, I’m not going to always know,” he said to you as he snuggled his head against your chest. 
“I- I’ll do better.” 
“I’m happy to hear that, and I promise to show you just how much I love you and do whatever it is to ensure that my wife is happy, because your happiness means the most to me. I’ll get you those flowers you want, and I’ll try my best to buy you loads of flowers in the future. And about visiting my office.”
“Yes?” you said. 
“I would love for you to pop up at my office one day with the kids and surprise me. My workers have been dying to meet my beautiful wife and children. And about the late-night work meetings. I can’t promise you that there won’t be any more late-night meetings, but I'll do my best to get home as early as I can to be with you and the kids. I don’t want you to feel as though I’ve abandoned you with the kids. I’ll take a few days off from work too and take the ends out. You’re right we barely have family time.”
“Thank you,” you said smiling as you allowed those tears to run down your cheeks. 
“I’ll do better as your husband. It wasn't my intention to not cuddle and hold you tightly while we sleep. Baby you know you can always smack me in the head or do that cute silly little thing you do and crawl underneath my arms if you want to cuddle with me,” he said to you, and you let out a small giggle. 
He chuckled too as he removed one hand from around your waist to cradle your cheek. “Lastly, this is about our sex life. If I make you feel physical pain, or uncomfortable at any time during intercourse you need to let me know because the last thing I want to do is hurt you. In your diary you said that you wanted to suggest the last time we had sex. I want you to tell me what it is.”
Your face heated up immediately, why would he have to bring that up now. Couldn’t he have waited until a better time. But nonetheless despite the obvious look of embarrassment on your face you whispered, “I was wondering if… if…”
“Yes?” 
“I was wondering if we could try something outside the usual vanilla sex,” you said to him, and he cocked his eyebrow towards you. “It’s not that I don’t enjoy vanilla sex, I love having vanilla sex with you and you know how to be rough when you need to be. But I thought it would be nice if we could do something different.” 
“What do you suggest?” he asked with a sunning grin on his face. 
“Maybe we could try using some sex toys.” 
“Sex toys heh?” he said, and you quickly covered up your face with your hands. “I’m open, I don’t mind getting a few sex toys here and there for us to use. I can order us a few online on another day.”
“Ok…”
“Good girl. I love you.” he whispered as he kissed your lips. "I promise I'll be a better husband for you."
“I love you too, Satoru.”
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worldlxvlys · 27 days
Note
Can you write a fic based on Wednesdays video and we notice he not wearing underwear and it’s visible -don’t know how to explain it well🫣
distracted
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
chris sturniolo x reader
warnings: smutttt, p in v, cream pie, unprotected sex, fantasizing, choking, oral (male receiving), handjob, degradation
a/n: @sophssturn also requested something very similar but my dumbass accidentally deleted the request 😭
hope you enjoy !!
i swear i wasn’t looking on purpose.
ok, that’s a straight lie.
but it’s almost as though he wanted me to look, he knew exactly what he was doing.
he wore those grey sweats, which he knew made me go crazy.
and to top it off, he decided not to wear any underwear ? what a slut.
he knew good and damn well that he was too big to be walking around without any boxers on.
and to do it while he was filming ? when he knew there was nothing i could say or do about it ? yeah, he knew exactly what he was doing.
i was sitting behind the camera, watching as he cooked burgers for everyone.
every time he moved just a little too quickly, his dick would press against his light-colored sweatpants, the outline of his bulge showing.
of course i was aware of how big he was, but that didn’t mean the entire internet need to know too.
as i continued to stare at him, my eyes scanned over his entire body, imagining him in a completely different scenario.
instead of his wrists flicking with every flip of a burger, they were straining against a restraint, and i was watching him squirm desperately under me.
his pretty mouth was being suffocated under the weight of my body, while my aching heat was shoved in his face.
instead of the oil from the cooked meat dripping down his hands, it was a layer of my arousal decorating his long fingers.
when he threw his head back, moaning at the taste of the hamburger, i imagined him moaning my name while i bounced on his-
“helloooo? did you hear me?” chris asked, pulling me back to reality.
“oh, sorry. i was distracted” i answered, now realizing that everything was cleaned up, and matt and nick had already went off to do whatever.
in front of me sat a hamburger, placed perfectly between two buns on a plate.
“distracted by what?” he asked as he watched me take a bite of the food.
i took a minute to finish chewing before answering, “what do you think?” i deadpanned, watching as he looked at me in confusion.
“you seriously don’t know?” i asked, continuing to eat the burger.
when i finished, he pointed to my mouth, “you have a little..” he trailed off as he collected a bit of juice that dribbled down my lips from the meat.
before he could do anything else, i grabbed his finger, looking up at him as i licked the small bit of liquid from his finger.
he stared at me with his mouth hanging open slightly, before i let go of his hand.
“ tastes good” i spoke to him, making him whine in response.
i reached forward, palming him through his sweats, making him moan out in surprise.
“tell me, what did you think was gonna happen?” i asked as my hand made its way into his sweatpants.
“i- fuck, i don’t know” his head fell back as he whispered, hands gripping my waist.
“yes, you do chris. you did it for a reason, what is it ?” i asked as i left a light kiss to the shell of his ear.
i didn’t get an answer as i began to stroke his length.
i squeezed his base lightly, making him groan in response.
“answer me or i’ll make you cum in your pants out here like the dirty slut you are”
“shit” he breathed out raggedly, attempting to compose himself, “i wanted you to fuck me”
“you could’ve just asked baby”
“but i-“ he shuddered the feeling of my hands continuously squeezing him, “i need it rougher”
at those words, i pulled my hand from his pants, “say fucking less” i spoke as i grabbed his hand, pulling him to his room.
when we got there, i closed and locked the door behind us, before pushing him into it roughly.
“talk to me chris. tell me what you want” i spoke.
“ i told you already, i-” i brought my hand to his throat, squeezing it slightly.
“excuse me?” i asked him, eyebrows raised.
his eyes widened slightly, his gaze dropping to my lips. “try that again” i told him.
“i need you to fuck me” he whispered. “louder” i spoke.
“need you to fuck me” he spoke, his voice slightly raised.
“louder”
“they’re gonna hear-” he started before i cut him off, “i don’t really give a fuck. you wanna act like a little bitch in heat ? i’ll treat you like one, say it louder”
“please, please fuck me. need you to fuck me so bad” he spoke up, whining desperately.
“was that so hard?” i asked, tilting my head to the side.
i slid my hand up to grab his jaw, pulling his face toward mine into a heated kiss.
my hands wove into his hair, harshly tugging on his brown locks while his found their way around my waist.
i swallowed his moans as my lips danced along his greedily.
i ran my hands down his clothed chest, letting my fingertips toy with the hem of his shirt.
he took the hint, pulling away for a second to pull his shirt off, before his lips found their way back to mine.
my hands explored the new skin, running along his chest before stopping at his waistband.
i teasingly rubbed his stomach, fingers brushing the waistband but never moving past it.
he pulled away to speak, his mouth slightly open, “don’t tease”
i raised my eyebrows at him, grabbing him by his arm and guiding him to sit on the bed.
“maybe if you weren’t walking around without any underwear on, i’d listen to you” i spoke as i sunk down to my knees in front of him.
his eyes widened slightly as i left a kiss to his clothed dick.
he looked down at me with hooded eyes, watching as i slowly pulled his sweatpants down.
his hard dick slapped his stomach, pre-cum dripping onto his abs.
chris’s breathing sped up in anticipation, his hands clutching the sheets underneath him.
i placed my hands on his thighs, keeping them pulled apart while i leaned forward, collecting his arousal with my tongue.
i started at his stomach, licking at the small beads of arousal, before swirling my tongue around his tip.
“fuck” he breathed out, his head instantly flying back.
“talk to me, baby. you feeling good ?” i asked him.
CHRIS’S POV
“yes, feels so good” i whispered, brows furrowing as she teased me.
she brought the palm of her hand to my tip, rubbing me in quick, circular motions.
my hips jerked up at the feeling, my mind growing fuzzy at the amount of pleasure that coursed through me.
“you think you deserve to cum ?” she asked, looking up at me through her lashes.
she pulled her hand off of me suddenly, deciding to tease me more.
my mouth hung open, but i was unable to form any words as my mind was consumed with her.
her hands, running up my thighs, but always stopping just before her fingers could graze my dick.
her face, glaring up at me with that look in her eyes that told me i was going to be gone by the end of tonight.
her lips, so plump, curved to fit around my dick perfectly.
“please, i need your mouth” i whined as she moved her face closer to me, her breath tickling my painfully hard cock.
“yeah? well i need you to learn how to listen” she spoke, moving away from me.
if there was one thing she loved to do, it was tease me. she wanted to push me to my limits until i lost it.
and she knew exactly how to get me there.
“ok, ok, i’m sorry. please, please, i need your mouth so bad”
ignoring my pleas, she pulled her shirt over her head.
“you never answered my question earlier, chris” she spoke.
her words went in one ear and out the other, however, when i saw what she was wearing underneath her clothes.
“fuck” i groaned out at the site of the black lace that adorned her skin.
the bra had a low cut, her tits sitting perfectly in the cups.
the bottom left little to the imagination, the lips of her pussy hugging the small string of fabric that barely covered it.
“do you deserve to cum?” she repeated her question from earlier, tilting her head at me.
“yes” i spoke quickly, desperate to have her in any way i could.
“i don’t know, you didn’t answer me the first time” she spoke, moving to straddle my waist.
“guess i’ll take that as a no” she spoke as my hands found their was to her hips.
“cum before i tell you and i swear to god i’ll edge you until you start crying” she spoke firmly as she lined herself up with my dick.
“f-fuck” i groaned at the feeling of her pussy sucking up my sensitive tip.
i held her close to me while she continued to take me inch by inch, until her hips met mine.
when i bottomed out, we both let out moans of content.
she began to roll her hips into mine slowly, before bouncing on my cock.
i watched as her covered tits bounced in my face with every one of her harsh movements on top of me.
i squeezed her hips tightly, needing something to grab onto as she found her rhythm.
her tight pussy continued to squeeze me, each pull of her hips pushing me deeper and deeper into a euphoric state.
“g-god, feels so good” i groaned out, watching her eyes light up at the praise.
“yeah?” she asked, grabbing my jaw to pull my face closer to hers.
“fuck yes, you’re so good to me baby” i spoke against her lips.
she ground her hips down against mine as she pressed a fervent kiss to my lips, her fingers finding their way back to my hair.
when i pulled away, i left kisses on her neck, making my way down to her boobs.
“so beautiful” i whispered up to her.
“hmm, so sweet to me” she spoke, “but i’m still not letting you cum” she pushed my chest, making me fall back onto the bed.
she laid her hands on my chest, using it as leverage to increase her speed on top of me.
“you look so good on top of me like this” i groaned out.
i was barely holding it together, something about the way she took control made me lose my mind.
“i’m so close” i whined as the sounds of our skin slapping against each other’s filled the room.
“well that sucks for you then, huh ?” she asked as she brought her hand to my throat, lightly choking me.
my eyes rolled into the back of my head at the action, my fingers digging into her thighs.
“i- please, i need it, need it so bad” i struggled to form a logical sentence as she leaned back, placing her hands on my thighs.
“oh my g-god” i moaned, desperately trying to hold back my orgasm.
“wait until i tell you” she spoke, moving my head to look at her.
i glanced down to where our bodies met, getting lost in the way her glistening pussy engulfed my dick.
i could’ve came from the sight alone.
“please, please, please” i repeated the word like it was a chant, knowing i wouldn’t be able to hold off for much longer.
“i’m almost there, baby. so close, just hold on a little bit longer for me”
my head flew back when she clenched around me, eliciting a loud moan from me.
“fuck, let go for me chris. let it all out” she moaned as she continued to clench around me.
i sat up to close the distance between us, wrapping my arms around her waist to hold her close to me.
my legs began to shake, my abdominal muscles tightening as i was hit with a shockwave of pleasure.
my hips bucked up into her, making her moan while i shot my load into her weeping hole.
“fuck chris, right there ! right there” she cried out as i unintentionally thrusted into her, my cock buried as deep as it could go inside of her.
she let out one last moan as i felt her release all over me, my dick coated in her pleasure.
my body went limp underneath her, letting her take control as she worked us through our highs.
once we both calmed down, she lifted herself off of me slowly, before making her way to my bathroom.
when she returned, she held two towels in either hand; one wet and one dry.
she gently rubbed the wet towel against my skin, cleaning up the sticky substance that resided from our previous orgasms.
“are you ok my love? did i hurt you?” she asked me while she continued to clean me up.
she took the second towel, drying my wet skin while i answered, “no baby. i’m ok” i smiled lightly at her.
“good” she answered before finishing up, and doing the same for herself.
she discarded the towels in the hamper before coming back over to me.
“wanna take a shower?” she asked as her hands found their way to my waist, rubbing light circles into it.
“yeah” i spoke as i went to stand up, immediately halting my movements when it felt like my legs were going to give out.
“what’s wrong?” she asked, noticing the way i quickly sat back down.
“my legs are…” i trailed off, searching for a word that wouldn’t make the effect she had on me so obvious.
i didn’t need to feed her ego any more than i already had.
it was no use, though, as she picked up on what was happening.
“you can’t walk ?” she asked, a smug grin growing on her face.
“shut up” i spoke, shaking my head at her.
“awww, it’s ok baby, i’ll take care of you” she spoke, pressing a kiss to my forehead.
she went to help me up before pausing, “want me to pick you up?” she teased.
🦢🦢🦢🦢
masterlist
tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @sturniolowhore @readerakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @chrisstopherfilmed @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @sturniolololover @meg-sturniolo @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07 @breeloveschris @evieolo @riasturns @sturnssmuts @nicksmainbitch @luverboychris
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flippedorbit · 1 year
Text
i think dropping out is in my best interest at this point
#Apollo’s Prophecies#I’ve been stressed to the point of getting sick multiple times in the past week; which hasn’t happened in over a year.#my mental health is getting worse. yet again.#my family members aren’t understanding at all and are only piling more onto the stress pile.#not to mention all the assignments i’m falling behind on and can’t go back to because i’ll fall behind on current stuff.#i want to cry and break down among other things. i want to fucking relax and have everything be okay now.#i’m tired of waiting for a better future to come when the present is already too unbearable.#vent#suicide mention#at this rate either dropping out of school or life is the only thing that will prevent further stress. i’m so tired.#i’m sick of not being enough for anyone.#i’m sick of my family cooking for four people instead of all five of us. there are five of us in the house and i already#can barely convince myself to actually eat. not being able to eat because not nearly enough has been made is so fucking stupid.#i know we have the resources to feed all of us properly and yet for some reason they refuse to do so.#my senior year is supposed to be my last year. the year i finally get to have fun but i am so fucking stressed and tired and hungry#and mad and scared. and i feel so fucking alone in all of this. i can’t turn to any of them. i don’t even have a therapist to fucking talk#to anymore. i feel so fucking isolated and like i’m not being heard no matter how fucking loud i yell.#i’m so exhausted physically and mentally. everything is too much.
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luveline · 2 years
Text
𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲 | 𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫  
part one | part two | part three
summary you’re a single mom living three trailers down. eddie thinks you’re the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. queue lunch break visits, rocky road ice cream, a too-big bouquet, and the rainbow connection.
warnings teen mom!reader, fem!reader, r is junie’s birth mother, fluff, hurt/comfort, eddie being a total girl dad (<3), mutual pining, yearning etc, tw for not having much money, general mom struggles :(, slowburn friends to lovers, tw talk of dying (and past lives)
𓆩❤︎𓆪
You're dozing against the back wall in the kitchen when Benny clears his throat. The grease back here while he's cooking tends to get pretty thick and you're tired to begin with. It's a recipe for nodding off. 
Flinching into a proper standing position, you give your boss an apologetic smile. "What?" you ask, blinking hard. 
"Your boy's here." 
"My boy?" 
"Curly hair, tattoos. Looks like he hasn't showered this week. Or any week, actually." Benny laughs, a chesty, self-satisfied chuckle. 
You rush to his side, careful of the spitting hot grill, and follow his gaze out of the kitchen window. Eddie's about two seconds away from opening the glass door, clad in his smart work uniform. 
"He's not my boy," you say. 
Benny scrapes his spatula across the grill's bubbling surface and flips a burger. "If he's the reason you're tired today, you can consider him banned. He's ruining my best waitress." 
"I'm your only waitress." The door opens. Eddie stops in the doorway and casts his gaze around the room. You hide behind the wall and fuss with your hair. "And no, he's not keeping me up. It's Junie." Isn't it always Junie? She's your baby and you adore her, but that doesn't mean she's getting any easier to handle. The terrible twos are persevering with a ferocity you can't quite withstand, or at the very least sleep through. 
"He eating?" Benny asks. 
"I'll go find out." 
You wipe the oil from your nose and grimace as you walk out into the actual seating area of the diner. It's empty but for one person and Eddie, who grins when he sees you. 
"Hey, sweet thing." 
You try not to show how much you like being called 'sweet thing'. Your face must betray you somehow because Eddie's grin turns smug and he approaches until he's basically stepping on your toes. 
"How's it hanging?"
You snort. "Benny asked if you're eating." 
"What's today's special?" 
"Cheeseburger." 
He fixes your shirt collar. You can feel the warmth of his fingers and the cooler metal of a ring grace your throat. "Yeah, I'm eating." 
You report back to Benny with his order and find the cook's already added two burgers to the grill. He points his spatula at the now grilled and constructed burger for Darren. If you hadn't taken it you'd still know who's it was; Benny's regulars are loyal to a fault. The same old guys come in here day in and day out, and they all want the same thing. 
Quarter pounders. 
You take it, twist around a childish Eddie trying to trip you up and deliver it to Darren, a frowny-faced farm-hand that Benny swears is a nice guy deep down. You've yet to dig far enough. 
Eddie tries to trip you up again when you come back. You glare at him, stepping on his toes gently – more a threat than a real show of aggression – and disappear again through the kitchen door.
"So." Benny throws down a basket of fries before moving to the chopping board with a fresh tomato in hand. "He's your boyfriend?" 
"Do we have to do this?" you ask, joining him at the chopping board. You try to snag a slice of tomato and are quickly tutted away. 
"Is he?" 
"No," you say, trying again for some tomato. 
"Kid, if you don't wait." 
You pout and set back on your heels. 
The burgers sizzle. Benny throws a slice of cheese over Eddie's and lets it melt. Quicker than you can believe, Benny constructs two burgers and fills a red plastic basket with fries. 
He offers them to you. "Lunch break." 
Free food. You smile at him sheepishly and try to take them. He pulls his arms back.
"Wha-" 
"If he's your boyfriend, you better tell me now." 
"Benny, I don't know if you know this, but I'm an adult. Already got knocked up once." 
"And where is he now?" 
Chastised, you mumble, "He's not my boyfriend," and Benny finally hands over the food. He looks like he might try to ruffle your hair if you stick around, so you knock open the kitchen door with your hip and make a speedy exit. 
"What's with the face?" Eddie asks as you sit, reaching for the hot plate balancing across your forearm.
"I think Benny just tried to give me a dad talk." 
He laughs like this is the funniest thing he's ever heard. "Really? What did he say?" 
You shake your head. That's not a bag of worms you're interested in delving into right now. Your brains too fried, and the food smells great. Your stomach aches with hunger. 
"You want a coke?" you ask. 
Eddie stands up. "I'll get them. Sit down, okay?"
You sit down and shove a greedy handful of fries into your mouth, turning in your seat to watch Eddie talk.
He leans over the metal ledge of the kitchen window. It's quiet enough to hear him laugh, hear him say, "No, sir," in a tone that borders sarcastic. 
He wields a five dollar bill at Benny, who shoots him down.
"Put it in the Junie jar," Benny says. 
"Junie jar?" Eddie questions, though he's smiling. 
Your eyebrows furrow at the expression. You've never heard it either. 
"I don't bother pretending she spends it on anything else."
"You got that right." 
You flush with heat all the way to to the tips of your ears and turn back to the table before Eddie can catch you watching. 
He throws himself into his seat like he's collapsed. The twin cokes in his hands upheave and then splash back into themselves, an impressive and ridiculous show of skill that makes you gasp. 
"For you." He shoves a glass down next to you. The ice cubes clink. 
"Thank you," you say, and don't waste any time digging into your food.
He squints at your eager eating, though he waits until you've taken the worlds biggest bite of your burger before he asks, "Hungry?" 
You swallow before you mean to and have to take a big sip of your drink to avoid choking to death. "I didn't eat breakfast." 
"How come?" 
You can't take his concern. Your eyes drop this hand where it picks through fries, no rings in sight. He’d told you once he can’t wear them at work, because he gets really warm and the rings are costume jewellery. His hands look bare without them, but they’re very nice hands. You follow the stark line of a bone down from his knuckles and focus in on his simple wrist watch as you explain. 
"It took me an hour to get her to finish a slice of toast this morning. I usually wouldn’t make her finish, but she's not eating well." 
You don't have to say who. Eddie tips his head back to eat a handful of fries like a courtesan eating grapes, all grandness. 
"Teething?" 
"She has all her teeth already," you say. A laugh bubbles up, delighted at his suggestion. 
"What do you think it is?" 
You wipe the corner of your mouth with a napkin and shrug. Eddie sees straight through your forced nonchalance. 
"No, seriously. What do you think?" 
"I don't know. Maybe she's gonna come down with the flu. She didn't sleep all night either, and…" You rub your tired eyes with the backs of your hands. "I don't know. I hope she's feeling better at pick up, but I doubt it." 
"How are you feeling?" He says 'you' softly, almost crooning. 
"Tired, Eds." 
"I can see that." 
The door opens and a breeze whips your ankles. You hide them further under the table and cringe when you kick Eddie straight in the foot. He only raises his eyebrow at you and kicks you back. "What's your problem?" he mumbles under his breath, smiling. 
When the burgers are gone and there's only a couple of cold fries left, you and Eddie fall into conversation about tonight. He's finally playing a gig after months without one, and you're riddled with guilt. 
"I wish I could come," you tell him, feeling gutted that you won't see him in action. 
You wonder what he looks like on stage. Sometimes it's hard to coalesce the Eddie you know and the other Eddie, rocker Eddie. He's so sweet. The image of him on stage and sweating, rocking out, you can't summon it. 
You clear your throat. "I'm sorry we can't." 
Eddie shakes his head quickly, fingers playing with the chain around his left wrist. "Don't worry about it. Junebugs's gotta sleep. You gotta sleep." 
You pick at your nails, shame-faced. If you were a good friend you'd go and see him perform, but you're a good mom so you can't. Maybe you could get a sitter… only you don't trust anybody to look after her. Not the way you would. And people can be evil.
Maybe I could take her to the Hideout, you think tentatively.
You couldn't. It's too loud, it's too rowdy. You're not sure they'd even let you in with a baby. 
"Sorry," you say again, dropping your cheek into your palm. 
Eddie doesn't smile. He turns his wrist, the back of his hand to the table and his palm open between you. 
"Don't be sorry," he says. He watches your face and slowly, slowly, mischief creeps into his expression. "How about I give you a private show?" 
Your breath catches in your throat. 
"You and June've never heard me play. I could bring an amp. June can play drums. You'll sing." 
His allocation shocks you out of your thoughts. "Why can't you sing?" 
"What will you do, then? If I sing?"
You flounder.
He lifts his coke to his lips and smirks at your silence. "Exactly." 
"Eddie, I can't sing." 
He waves his hand at you rather than answer. 
"I won't sing." 
"Oh, you won't?" he asks, tone enough to make you cross your legs under the table. He rolls his eyes. 
"No. Let Junie do it. She's always singing." 
"And you'll-? What?"  
You shrug. He imitates you, over-exaggerated enough to make you gasp a laugh.
“Is that supposed to be me?"  
He ignores your question in favour of his own. "You'll do nothing. Typical." 
"You're getting too big for your boots, Munson," you warn, sliding his plate on top of yours. 
He stacks your empty glasses. The two of you stand and linger. He should go back to work. You should too.
"I'll come over tomorrow?" he asks finally. 
"Okay." You look over him in his clean clothes and neater than usual hair and can't help smiling. "I'll see you tomorrow," you say quietly, opening your arms just slightly. 
Eddie takes the hint and wraps his arms quickly around your shoulders, careful of the plates in your hand. He rubs them once, a good, grounding pressure across the breadth of your back. Your nose presses against his neck. He smells like aftershave and cigarette smoke and skin. 
Before you know it he's pulling away, the end to an amicable embrace between friends. Almost disappointing, not quite what you want anymore, but a relief and a comfort all the same. 
He chucks your chin. "Tell Junie I miss her." 
"I will."
"Okay." He turns to walk away. "Bye, sweetheart," he shoots over his shoulder. 
"Bye!" you call. 
The door shudders in his wake. You stand there watching until Benny clears his throat pointedly and asks you to come and make some more coffee. 
You rush through the rest of the day. You finish earlier than you should because Benny's in a gracious mood, thrusting your tip jar into your arms with a command to get some sleep. You promise you'll try your best and head out for the daycare. 
Junie's asleep in a bean bag by the baby gate when you get there. You stop dead in your tracks. She has her shoes and coat on already, her backpack in her lap. You look up at the childcare worker in charge today, a nice lady called Deborah, quizzically. 
"She's been like that for an hour. I'm sorry we couldn't keep her awake." 
You pout at Junie. "Why she got her coat on?" 
"She insisted. Screamed bloody murder. Think she was excited to see you," she says, smiling softly. 
You smile in return. "Thank you, Deborah. Have a nice weekend.”
Deborah nods and disappears back into the play room. You open the baby gate with likely less dexterity than you should have as a mom and drop to your knees in front of the beanbag, careful not to make too much noise. You're wondering if you can carry her to the car without waking her up when her foot moves, then her arms. They fall to her side as her eyes open. 
"Hey, baby," you say, feeling weirdly emotional. She looks so lovely and pretty, and if she's sick that's gonna pluck your heart strings (and cause a boat load of problems). 
"Mommy," she mumbles, eyes bleary.
"That's me." You reach out to squeeze her little thigh. "My poor girl, what's the matter? Does your tummy hurt?" you ask carefully.
She blinks. 
"Why're you sitting here all by yourself? You didn't want to play with Adrien? Or Lucy?"
When she doesn't reply you take her backpack and thread your hand through the strap, offering your open arms to her. She can barely sit up, her movements slow and sluggish. 
"Here," you murmur, sliding your hands under her armpits and pulling her into your chest. 
She finally smiles, hands bunched up at the collar of your shirt. You leave some room to look at her and she looks at you. You're surprised she's not whining or crying. 
"Hey," you say again, amazed at her droopy smile. "You look like you've had a good day." 
Her head drops forward. You think she's nodding, though that might be wishful thinking. You don't even know if toddlers can nod. 
Of course they can nod, you think to yourself scathingly. I mean… can they? 
And Junie isn't like most toddlers. She hasn't really done anything by the book. She meets milestones when she wants to, sometimes early, sometimes really, really late. 
You pat her back, her nylon coat crinkly under your hand. "Ready to go home?" 
You stand up with her clutched to your chest. Usually you'd have her say goodbye to Deborah or the other daycare workers but Junie doesn't look like she knows her own name right now. You frown at her and encourage her forehead against your chin, trying to gauge if she's a little warmer than usual. 
"I missed you," you tell her honestly. You miss her every single day. "I want to know everything you did today. Do you remember what you did?"
Junie pushes against your chest with her hand as you walk out of the daycare centre and into the parking lot. 
"Did you do… colouring? Or… building blocks? Did you sing?" you ask, grinning. 
You cross the road, and when you look back she's staring at you, straight into your eyes. 
"Hi," you say with a laugh. 
Her hands rise to your face, fingers thankfully clean and warm against your wind-bitten cheeks. You slow, gazing down at her expectantly. She raises her chin as high as she can and smiles big. 
"You want a kiss. I can tell," you croon smugly. 
She kisses you. It's a little drooly as baby kisses always are, but it's the best thing that's happened to you all day. It's always so surprising when she initiates affection. That she loves you just as much as you love her. 
You steal another kiss. 
"Guess what?" you ask, reaching a hand to stroke a little baby hair back. 
She says a word that isn't real. It sounds like 'mod'. 
"It's payday today, which means…" You beam at her. "Ice cream!" 
That grabs her attention. 
-
Eddie can't believe it. "You had what without me?" he asks over the phone. 
Junie herds your knees, arms around your legs and face turned to the TV. You stand slumped against the wall where your phone is plugged, curling the landline's coiled cord around your finger so Junie can't grab it. 
"Ice cream," you supply helpfully. 
His voice isn't easy to understand. The Hideout is a very loud place. Eddie's practically shouting down the line. "I can't believe it." 
"It couldn't be helped. She needed to be tempted." 
"Tempted! Has she eaten anything else?" 
You look down at the girl in question and reach down to rub her back. "Oh yeah. She ate like, an entire bag of lays, one of the big ones. She still smells like honey barbecue." 
"Nothing else?" 
You sigh, that creeping, ringing thought edging in. You're a bad mom. 
"I made her cereal, and celery sticks and sandwiches and little cut up peaches and- and she won't touch any of it," you say, like you're promising. Your tone begs to be believed.
There's a loud racket. Eddie shouts, "What did you say? I can't hear you!" 
You repeat yourself. You miss the start of what he's saying, but you catch, "-not your fault! She's probably just having a moment. You remember when she kept throwing her bottle? She doesn't do that anymore." 
You nod. "Yeah, maybe it's like that. She's figuring she has choices." Not the best timing for your kid to decide she's gonna get picky. 
"Exactly! Or maybe she is sick. Does she look sick?"
You look back down at Junie and feel across her smooth forehead for the twentieth time today. "She doesn't feel warm." 
"Good. I'm sure she-" You miss the rest. 
"I can't hear you," you say with a small laugh. "I can hear the drum kit though. Are you going on soon?"
"I said, 'I'm sure she's fine.' And yeah, couple of minutes." 
"Okay. Um. I'll let you go, then." 
"Okay." A small gap where you think he's hung up, but then, "Can I talk to her?" 
You bite back a smile. "Sure." 
You kneel down. Junie looks a short fall from suspicion, though her arms quickly reach out for a hug.
"June, d'you wanna talk to Eddie?" 
"Eddie?" she asks, turning to the door. 
You catch her hand before she can walk away. "No, babe, on the phone." 
You sit down flat with your legs crossed and encourage her to do the same. She doesn't not want to be encouraged, eyes still trained on the door. 
"Baby," you say, though you're bringing the phone to your mouth as you do. "Are you still there?"
"Yeah, I'm here." 
"Okay, I'm gonna pass her the phone and you're gonna have to talk straight away, because she doesn't know how it works. Alright?"  
"Yeah, alright. Bring on the junebug." 
You press the phone to Junie's ear. She looks startled and then annoyed, shoulder hiking and head moving in like she might push it away. You can see the moment she realises Eddie is on the other side, her lips part and her eyes widen in wonder. 
She listens for a while, flabbergasted. You think you might be able to hear his voice. Not what he's saying, but his bubbly baby tone. 
"Eddie," she says suddenly. She looks at you, says a bunch of nonsense words and babbling punctuated by Eddie Eddie Eddie. 
"Are you listening to him?" you ask, excited at her recognition. 
She grabs the phone out of your hand and stares at it. You try to wrangle it back and put it back to her ear. She is not happy. 
Hardly news that your toddler's mood may swing, you shove the phone between your head and your shoulder and wrap her up in your arms with a placating shush. She starts to cry regardless. You think they might be crocodile tears. 
"Eddie?" 
"Sweetheart, I gotta go, okay? I'm sorry if I upset June–" 
"You didn't, you didn't, she–" 
"– I'll make it up to you, I swear."
"– misses you, I think–" 
"See you tomorrow, okay?" 
"Okay. Good luck!" you say. The line's already dead. The dial tone makes your ear prickle. 
You feel upset for a second. It's a mess of feelings. You're too tired to deal with any of them. 
"Eddie?" Junie asks, hands pulling at the hem of her nightie. 
"Just mommy," you say with a smile. The longer she looks at you the easier it gets. "You wanna go to bed and cuddle?" 
She laughs and runs away from you.
"I'll take that as a no." 
-
Eddie knocks the door and doesn't get an answer. 
He pauses, a bouquet behind his back and his acoustic guitar heavy around his neck, a grocery bag hanging from the crook of his elbow. It's a very heavy grocery bag. He'd figured he has a lot of apologising to do this afternoon. 
It seems like there's no one home to apologise to. 
"Girls? It's me." 
Still no answer. 
"Eddie," he adds, like a loser.
He thinks he can hear small footsteps. 
"Eddie!" 
He laughs to himself. "Junebug? Where's mommy?" 
"Hello?" you call finally. 
"Hey, can you let me in?" 
He keeps the flowers hidden firmly behind his back as you open the door. He hears the deadbolt, the chain slide free and then the regular old lock unlocking, and you pull the door open and suddenly he can't breathe. You look that pretty. 
"Eddie!" Junie shouts, to his pleasure. 
You grin brilliantly as he steps over the threshold. 
Junie's arms are quickly around his legs. She's in a sweet blue dress and frilly socks looking almost as pretty as her mom does, hair neat and tidy, face pristine. 
You're nearly matching her. You've a soft white shirt on, tucked into a simple blue skirt and a cardigan to match. 
You barely stop to look at him, flitting back to the kitchen where you’ve brown paper bags upended, the fridge and freezer doors both wide open. "Sorry, I'm just putting the groceries away. How did the gig go? Did you rock the house?" You giggle to yourself.
Eddie wants to scream, you’re that endearing. “It went great. Awesome. Not sure I rocked the house, but it was metal.”
"Amazing! I- I'm sorry I didn't hear you, I was in my own head," you say as you go, stepping over toys and frozen peas and Junie's Muppet Babies backpack like a natural. He notices your small white socks and feels himself slipping that little bit further into a terrifying feeling.
He doesn't have time to tell you it's okay, or that he wishes you’d been at the gig, or to watch your step. Junies's babbling for his attention and he'd rather die than not give it to her, moving the grocery bag he has hanging from his hand over her head and tossing it toward the couch, where it lands and spills. 
"Okay, June, I'm gonna pick you up," he says quickly, pulling the guitar over his head. He props it up by the open doorway, Junie tugging at his jeans the whole while. 
"So demanding!" he teases, scooping her up to prop on his hip and unveiling the flowers at the same time. 
You aren't looking. He nudges them towards her face and shakes them gently. 
Junie can't decide what's more fun, the flowers or Eddie. She wraps her arms around his neck as best as she can but stares at the flowers with a dawning comprehension. 
"What are these, baby?" he asks, holding them lower so she can see them all in view. They're mostly red. There's some whites too, big round roses among other flowers he can't name. 
"Red," she says quickly. "White. Yellow, blue, green." 
She's not right, there aren't any yellows or blues, but he can only blame himself for drilling them into her the way he had. She's showing off that she knows them all, and she deserves some praise. 
"Good job! Red, white," he shakes the bouquet enough to reveal a few small pink ones, "pink flowers. They're pretty, don't you think? Pretty as you and mommy?" He hums to himself, patting her back thoughtfully. “Maybe not that pretty." 
You're not listening. If you were he's not sure he could say it, not while you're looking like you do. You're always pretty, always, but right now he feels like he did the first time he saw you. Just gone. 
Junie tells him something, a more factual tone and air about her. He rubs the top of her upper arm encouragingly, asking, "Is that right?" 
"Do you want food?" you call. 
He sets June down on her feet and she hates it until he wraps her hands around the bouquet's neck. "Can you give these to your mom for me? Please?" Junie stares at them. "For mommy," he adds, pointing at you where you're closing the cabinet door. 
Junie, the tiny smarty-pants that she is, runs to you. Eddie's a coward for it, but he doesn't think he can give them to you himself under honest pretenses, doesn't think he could admit that he'd been thinking about getting you flowers for a while now. Much easier to have her give them to you. 
You make a sound like you've swallowed a gasp and stare at them. 
"They're nice, right? I saw them and I thought they'd make a good apology for last night." 
You don't take them. You can't contain a smile, but you don't take them. 
"I'm sorry if I made any trouble for you," he says tentatively. 
You drop your hand on top of Junie's head. Your tone is warm, each word reassuring. "No, you didn't. She just… you know, she has a routine, and she loves when you come around. She missed you. That's not your fault." 
"Okay, good. I missed her too. Nobody can jam out like she can.”
Junie whacks you in the thigh. Eddie's starting to think he did something wrong because you still haven't taken them from her, your eyes as unreadable as the way your hands move, rigid and curling. 
You shake them out and finally take the flowers. 
"Thanks, baby," you say. Then, looking at him. "Thank you." 
"You can get me back," he says. 
Shell shock turns to eagerness. "Yeah, anything." 
He picks up the spilled groceries and brandishes them at you. In one hand is this week's dessert, a huge carton of rocky road ice cream, the fancy kind with big chocolate chips and fluffy marshmallows on top. In the other, a plastic jug of your favourite drink. 
"Find room for these in the fridge?"
Since accepting them, you've yet to put down the flowers, holding them protectively to your chest as you take what he’s offering and carry them into the kitchen.
June runs full pelt at his legs and he doesn't hesitate to pick her up. 
"You're so happy today!" he cheers, saccharine sweet as she burrows her little face into his collar. "Have you been having a good day with mom? I love your matching outfits." 
You try to hide how the compliment affects you, face buried in the freezer. He knows without a shadow of a doubt that your freezer has ample room, you don’t need to look for space. and he can see the way your hand tightens around the bouquet. He loves how shy you've become lately over his compliments, no matter how small. It's worth the possibility of making a fool of himself to see you flustered. 
Junie reports back on the day. Eddie listens intently for words he might understand but finds none. 
He doesn't let this bother him, leaning against the counter behind so he can hold Junie low on his stomach to watch her expressions flicker, hands encapsulating her back. She looks happy, obviously, but she also looks very intent on something. 
"Yeah?" he asks, tilting his head toward her knowingly. "Was the grocery store exciting? Did you do anything else?" 
"Duckies!" she says. 
"Duckies? You saw ducks?" he asks curiously, looking to you for confirmation. 
You're still holding your flowers to your chest. 
Junie chatters. "Duck, duck, duck." 
"What's she talking about?" he asks, pulling her up enough for her head to rub against his chin.
"Oh, we went to the duck pond. She was obsessed," you say. 
"Right, right. Can't say I blame her.” 
"Trying to explain why they weren't yellow took some dedication." 
Eddie smiles at you softly. "You can put them down, you know." 
Your eyes flicker between him and the flowers. "I- nobody's ever got me flowers before. I don't know what I'm s'posed to do with them. I don't… have a vase." 
He hadn't realised he'd be the first guy to get you flowers. It makes him wanna wrap you up and hug you, because how is it fair that a girl like you never got flowers? Not once? 
"Shit," he says instead. 
He flinches hard and looks at Junie. She's too busy with her hands in his hair to notice what he's said. He apologises anyways. 
You roll your eyes. Eddie's relieved to see it's with obvious fondness, a funny lopsided smile to your lips. 
"If she starts dropping s-bombs, you're the one who has to deal with it," you warn. 
"I will.” 
He takes a step toward you and you take a step toward him.
You hum and hold the flowers up to Junie as he had before. "Aren't these just something else? Look how pretty they are! Why don't you pick one, baby?" 
Eddie shifts her onto the right side and you both watch her touch them, hands adorably careful as she feels the leaves between her fingers and pokes the fuzzy yellow centre of a flower with white, round petals. 
"That one?" you murmur, pulling it out from the rest with the same adorable carefulness. 
Junie accepts the flower and immediately shows it to Eddie, ecstatic.
“Yellow," she proclaims. 
"And white," he says, ruffling the petals with his index finger. 
She smells like talc and you, that soft jasmine perfume, and her hair is fragrant where it tickles his face. He indulges and hugs her that little bit tighter. She indulges him in turn and hugs him back, the flower petals cold and silky against his neck. 
"How do you…" You scratch the base of your neck. "Do you think I could squeeze all the stalks into one glass?" 
It's only a bunch from the grocery store but he thinks a glass might be a little too small. "Maybe you can split it? Have one in your room, one in here." 
You set about following his suggestion, snipping away the cellophane with a pair of scissors and acquiring two tall glasses. The stalks are tall. You trim them down and begin arranging them. Eddie has no clue why you're being as particular as you are but he's happy for you to do as you please, traipsing into the living room where Junie seems to have been running rampant before his arrival with intentions of cleaning up.
He closes the front door and bends at the waist to let Junie back on her feet. 
She goes down easy enough. Eddie turns on the TV to keep her occupied while he whips around the room. He wants to clean (as best as he can) before you see him and tell him to stop. He puts your small handbag and Junie's backpack at the sideboard by the door. He sweeps up all of her toys and tucks them under the television as you would, then moves onto the rogue dirtied pajamas on the floor. They're Junie's favourites, the ones with tiny strawberries that she always chooses when given the option. 
Your laundry basket isn't anywhere in the living room or kitchen. He attempts to sneak past you where you're still arranging flowers intently. The sight of you stops him in his tracks. 
I need to get her a vase, he thinks. And another bouquet.
You turn to him, a pleased expression turning your features from pretty to chest-achingly lovely. 
He holds up the pajamas and then keeps on down the hall to the bathroom, even as you chasten, "Eddie," with a fond exasperation. 
You showcase your first bouquet upon his return, sheepish, awaiting judgement. You're conflicted tonight, a handful of emotions shaken and stirred. 
"Tada," you sing. 
"Looks sick, sweetheart. If this whole waitressing thing doesn't work out for you, you could definitely be a florist."
You huff a laugh. "Oh, for sure." 
"I'm serious. It looks really nice." 
He thinks maybe he can see the way you might've been before, in that moment. There's something so young – and you are young, as he is, as he keeps forgetting – about your face and how you take praise. You look like you want desperately to brush it away, and you look like you want him to give you more. 
He stands close enough that you're forced to turn back to the counter where the second bouquet is taking form. "This one looks nice too." 
"I thought I'd put the prettiest one out here." You lean back and your shoulder presses to his chest. "And then the reject in my room," you say, chin lifted to look him dead in the eye. 
He feels heat crawling up his neck and decides to fight fire with fire, even if the fire is entirely imagined. "Do you often have rejects in your bedroom?" he questions with a smarmy smile. 
You laugh. Far from the polite and prim giggling you'd used when you first met, though that was cute, too, this laugh is something else. He wishes he had a tape deck with him to record it, play it back. 
"Only if they're very pretty," you say. You place the last of the flowers into the second bouquet. "And these ones are beautiful. Thank you, Eddie. You didn't have to get me flowers." 
"I wanted to." 
Your head falls gently against the top of his shoulder. He stands very still. 
The faucet drips. The TV plays. If he listens, Eddie can hear the sound of kids outside on their bikes, shouting and jeering. 
Like this, he can see the curve of your neck, the hill of your chin. He can see the pillows of your lips and the slopes of your cheek. The darling shape of your nose. He knows a kiss would fit there well, fit there perfectly, if he would only raise his hand to your shoulder. Turn you ever so slightly.
Even the flat of your forehead begs for affection. He can almost feel it from looking at you – the warmth of your skin under his lips. He can't decide whether he'd kiss you from temple to temple, or smack dab on your crown. Between your brows, at the tail of them. The corner of your eye might work.
Anything would work.
Eddie lifts his hand. Careful not to startle you, he cups the side of your waist like he had before a hundred moons ago when you'd cut his hair in this same kitchen. He spreads his fingers wide and inches over your soft abdomen, feeling for the shape of you. 
You turn your cheek into his shoulder. He lets his lips touch the back of your head. 
Plinking echoes from the living room sudden enough to startle you in tandem. Kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar, you and Eddie both turn to the living room and come away from one another. You're more confused than Eddie at the sound; a split-second and you're out of reach. 
He closes his hand and follows you. Now past the obscurification of the cabinets, he can see that Junie's finally noticed his guitar and has pulled it down flat on the floor. 
She plays with the strings enthusiastically. Eddie can't bring himself to care at her roughness when she looks the way she does, curious and entertained, giggling her contagious baby laugh. 
"I forgot you brought that," you say, looking to him, he suspects, for a cue. A silent, Is she allowed?
Of course she is. “I told you I'd give you a private show."
"What happened to the amp?" 
"My hands were full." Eddie sits on the floor to Junie's left. "Whatcha doing, trouble?" 
She hits the neck. 
He takes her hand in a gentle grip and encourages the side of her finger across the strings. 
She laughs thick and sweet as honey. "Brmm," she imitates, lips pinching between giggles as he helps her do it again. 
"You're a total rockstar," he says. 
You kneel opposite. "She's gonna lose her mind when you play something." 
Eddie feels very smug at what's to come. 
You let Junie play for a time, and then you open your arms and she walks around to your side, sitting on your thighs. She continues to reach for the guitar, seems sulky when Eddie picks it up, and quietens when he plays an experimental note. 
"Are you gonna sing? I've heard you sing before, you know? You're not bad." 
You wrinkle your nose. 
First, he plays the Muppet Babies theme tune for June. She gets excited and starts to hum. You have to hold her in your lap to stop her from messing him up. He wouldn't mind if she did. He's hoping, maybe one day when she's old enough to understand, he could get her behind her own guitar. He's not kidding about starting a band. 
He drops his eyes to his fingers, shaking his head on instinct to try and shake away the thought. 
June sings and sings and eventually, quietly, you start to sing too. You’re purposefully not trying but any flatness is easily made up for by the familiarity of your voice alone. The way you talk, so charming and careful, the sweetness of your newfound shyness and the rough hint of ever-present tiredness you carry, it all seeps into your singing. Eddie adores it.
Junie almost gets some of the words right. It's very exciting for you, Eddie can see it in the tilt of your head. You enunciate precisely and he slows the tempo to give you time. 
"It really sounds like she's almost there. She definitely said 'dreams come true,’” he says as the song ends.
"You think?"
"Definitely. Do you want to sing it again?" he asks, words falling into a high-pitched sugar, eyes on Junie. 
"More?" you add, a slight correction. Junie doesn't know what 'again' means yet, but she understands 'more'. 
"More," she says seriously. 
You go through it one more time. If he plays slow to drag out your reluctant singing, that's his business. 
He unveils his next song with a dash of edgy stage presence. "For my next song, I'll be playing what can only be described as the absolute pinnacle of music." 
He sounds legitimate. 
Your eyebrows pinch together at his sombre attitude. "Sure." 
"I'm gonna play it as true to form as I can, but… I don't have a banjo. So…" 
He plays the first few seconds of Kermit The Frog's The Rainbow Connection. 
When he sings, he does it after an internal pep talk consisting of a scathing, Be brave, idiot. 
"Why are there so many, songs about rainbows. And what's on the other side?" he sings, trying and failing to sound like Kermit. He abandoned that pursuit immediately in favour of his regular voice. Thankfully it's a slow song. Simple. It doesn't take much to play, either. The real challenge are the lyrics, which he doesn't really know. "Rainbows are visions, but only… illusions?"
You bob your head appraisingly, hands crossed over Junies front, cheek pressed to the top of her head. 
"And rainbows have nothing to hide." 
You’re making it impossible to concentrate, looking as earnest, homespun, and ridiculously pretty as you do. Pretty in more than just your looks. The way that you watch him, the way you rub a pattern over Junie's ribs, it’s all so indicative of your heart.
He fucks up the rest. Bad timing, amateurish fingering over the struts, lyrics that escape him. You'd never know he could play Master of Puppets a month after it's debut from the way he performs now. 
You cheer, gathering Junie's hands into yours to help her clap. 
He blushes like a fool. 
Dinner tonight – take out. 
You're prouder than you should be when Eddie asks, "Can I help you cook tonight?" and you get to say, "No, you can't. I'm not cooking." 
You'd never shake your head at a frozen pizza but there's an irreplaceable satisfaction that comes from getting hot food delivered. Maybe it's the convenience, maybe it's that you don't have to cook it yourself. It might even be the grease. Whatever it is, it tastes better than any freezer food ever could.
You've trapped Junie in her high chair. Diaper changed, pajamas on, bib in place. You rolled her sleeves all the way up and gave her two slices of cheese pizza cut into small pieces that have been blown on for a more than generous amount of time and tell her to go ham. She doesn't bother with her plastic fork and you don't blame her, eating your own pizza in a similar fashion. 
Rather than sit opposite you or next to Junie, Eddie has opted for the chair on your left. Junie on your right, your daughter eats with an animated little grin that apples her cheeks, giving her that chubby baby-like smile. 
"You see her smile?" you ask, taking a big bite of perfect crust. You have to stop yourself from sighing happily, fingers covered in crumbs. 
"Yeah?" Eddie asks, pizza sauce or his face like a little kid. 
You sit back in your chair so he can really see her. "She's always been a smiley baby, and when she was much smaller all her smiles were so chubby cheeked. She was chubby cheeked. Now when she smiles like that she makes me remember her when she was a baby." 
"I'm not surprised she was a smiley baby if she had you… D'you miss having a baby?" 
"Watch yourself," you say, and then giggle as all the blood drains from his face. "Kidding. I don't know if I miss having a baby baby. I mean, she's so little, she's practically still a baby. But I do kinda wish I could go back and hold her as a newborn." 
Eddie wipes his cheek and stands up to get some paper towels. He wipes his face and hands and grabs the juice from the fridge to fill his glass (that's basically still full) and then yours (the real reason he'd stood, you reckon). 
"Was she heavy?" he asks.
You worry for a moment he's humouring you. It's clear how much you love Junie, you know it is, and that shows in how much you want to talk about her. You'd never expected that part, though of course it makes sense – sometimes she smiles and you wanna call the newspapers – and you don't think Eddie's insincere. He seems like he genuinely wants to know and that's enough for you to want to round the table and throw your arms over his shoulders. 
"I think…" You pick up your glass and hesitate with the rim to your lip. "I think if you'd held her back then, you wouldn't think she was heavy." 
He practically smolders, bringing an arm up to tense his bicep. "Thank you." 
You laugh at him. "Shut up! I just think, you've been good with her ever since you met her. When I held her for the first time it's a good thing I was laying down. I probably would've dropped her." 
Eddie takes Junie's sippy cup to fill. You'd say it was a waste if he hadn't bought it himself, she's too busy eating her weight in cheese to care about something as rudimentary as juice. 
"You would not have dropped her." 
"I would've." 
"You wouldn't have! And if you did, it would've been an accident. Next point, they don't have skulls, right? No harm, no foul." 
"Who told you babies don't have skulls?" 
"...I'm not at liberty to say." 
You eat the rest of your crust and shake your head at his misguided education. "They have skulls, Eddie. The scalp is super soft and fragile for ages, but they definitely have skulls. You know what they don't have?" 
Eddie squeezes Junie's shoulder as he walks behind her. "What?" he asks in alarm, passing you to sit down again. His knees touch the side of your thigh.
"Kneecaps." 
His hand stops on the way to the pizza box, body frozen. 
"What?" he asks, his alarm doubled.
"Swear down. No knee caps." 
"Don't they need them? For crawling? I feel like knee caps are more important than skulls." 
"If you didn't have a skull you wouldn't be able to breathe," you say, though you're guessing. 
"What use is breathing if you can't move?" 
You turn to him to take him in properly. You beam, because this is an outlandish conversation and you're enjoying every second of it and he looks just as happy as you feel. 
"Do babies need to move? June could never move again and I'd still look after her,” you counter.
"Sweetheart, you're cheating." 
"I can't exactly breathe for her-" 
"What are you talking about? Of course you could. I don't know how but you'd find a way, Y/N, I know what you're like." 
Your teeth click together, a funny retort squashed down by his unexpected admittance of faith. He always does this; Eddie loves to tell you the kindest things anyone has ever told you like they don't cost him a thing. 
"I would," you agree, blinded by love rather than supported by any logic. 
"Mommy," Junie says, like she knows she's the topic of your hypothetical devotion and she wants in. "More pizza"
"Please?" you tack on, though her small sentence had impressed you to the point of elation. You turn to her already with your hand in the pizza box. 
"Pizza," she says. You love the way she says it, like the 'zuh' sound at the end is a complete surprise. 
The pizza's cold enough by now to give it to her intact. She's amazed at the big slice you put on her plate, picking it up with a coordination you know is taking a lot of effort for her. 
"Good job, baby," you praise, using her distraction to pull a little string of cheese off of her messy cheek. 
She takes a huge bite. You watch her worried she's gonna choke, and feel Eddie's knees press deeper into your thigh as he moves forward to join in. 
"Is it weird that she's impressing me right now?" he asks. 
You giggle and roll your shoulders back until you can feel the brush of his hair against your shirt. "No, she's awesome."
For dessert, you insist on plating up. Or bowling up. You scoop a more generous than she should really have portion for Junie, something similar for Eddie, and a normal portion for yourself. 
"On the couch?" Eddie asks. 
You can see him cleaning up Junie out of the corner of your eye. You wish he wouldn't but you're grateful that he does. His attentiveness makes your hands feel heavy in that you remember you have them, and you remember what it's like to want to hold someone else's. 
"Yeah," you say, though eating on the couch makes you nervous. You don't want to ruin it. You're lucky you even have one. 
Eddie scoops Junie up easy and pats her back.
“You put away a lot of cheese, kid. A lot. Was that yummy or what?" 
She burps. His laughter is roaring and boyish as he applauds her. 
"You're patting her back, she's gonna keep burping.”
"That's what you're supposed to do for babies, isn't it?" 
He stands under the harsh kitchen light with his face turned away and down toward Junie, hair a mess of flyaways, t-shirt covered in shiny toddler fingerprints over one shoulder and jeans slipping down low on his hips. Your explanation comes breathlessly. "When you give a baby a bottle they suck in too much air and it gives them trapped wind. You burp that kind of baby. Not greedy almost three year olds." 
"She is not almost three." 
"I think I'd know, Munson." 
"She's like, two and a half at most." 
"I'm rounding up for emphasis," you say, and glare at his eyebrows rising. 
He pats her back some more anyways. She burps again and he laughs even more. "Juniper The Burpiest," he says to himself as he walks away, voice fading as he settles down across the way on the couch. 
Junie has crashed and burned, warm thick cheese and dough putting her quickly into a close to listless state in his lap. He faces her out toward the TV and she leans heavily against his chest with his hands around her torso, propping her up. You shepherd in the desserts. 
"Gimme Junie's," Eddie says. 
"She's gonna fall asleep," you say, but pass it over anyhow. 
Eddie places the bowl of rocky road in her lap with a hand between to stop from making her legs cold and starts to spoon ice cream into her mouth. She accepts. It's adorable to watch. His face over her shoulder, Junie's face slowly deflating, eyes bleary and blinking as her lips close lazily around the spoon. She barely flinches at the cold. 
You eat your own ice cream in the seat next to them and wonder if this is forever. 
Eddie wipes her chin with the side of his hand and watches her head fall. He wears a loving smile. It makes you want to cry, to know someone else loves her. 
You let all your weight fall against his shoulder and eat your ice cream casually. This is the least casual thing you've ever done. Spoon in your mouth, you press your cheek to the top of his arm and glue your gaze to the TV. 
You swear you can feel his eyes on you, but when you chance a look he's watching the TV, head inclined to yours ever so slightly, a hand brushing Junie's hair from her dozing face. You're weak. You give yourself over to what you want and turn your nose to his arm. He smells lIke he always does, warm in the truest definition of the word. 
You close your eyes. After a few minutes, you feel Eddie take the bowl from your hands and set it next to Junie's. You want to open your eyes and say sorry but they’re heavier than you'd thought, and you can only manage a murmur of sound. 
His hand sliders under your elbow and curls around your arm. His head drops on top of yours so softly you almost don't feel it. 
You doze, digging your face further into his arm, feel the curve of it under your cheek and the cut off of his sleeve rising. 
A frayed thread tickles your cheek and you complain without thinking, sighing your annoyance. 
"What?" Eddie asks. 
You raise a hand to rub at your face and eyes. "Tickled me." 
"Did I? M'sorry." 
"T-shirt. Did you cut them yourself?" 
"You know it. Was going through a phase." 
"Going through." 
"Say it to my face," he says. Soft, teasing. 
You lift your head and find him smiling at you. 
He has a beauty mark under his eye, occluded near completely by his eyelashes. You can't believe you've never noticed it before. 
"You have a freckle," you whisper.
"Where?" He nods. "Under my eye?" 
"Yeah." 
You sit up and stare at him. He closes his eyes and tilts his head back. "I've never seen it before," you continue, still whispering. "It blends in with your eyelashes." 
"I think you're the first person to see it who isn't my mom. No one ever looks at me this long,” he says quietly.
If his eyes weren't closed you'd never have had the courage to do what you do next. You raise your hand with his cheek, thumb pressed to the skin beside his nose and fingers slipped under his ear. You turn his face toward the light. Eddie lets you without complaint, his breath warm where it fans over your thumb. You push your fingers further until they've threaded into his soft hair, your thumb brushing up under his eye. You part his mess of dainty lashes with your thumbnail until the beauty mark is clear in view. 
"That's so sweet," you whisper, awed. 
Eddie readjusts Junie in his lap with an overabundance of caution and doesn't speak. He's lax under your touch. 
"It's really pretty. You had it since you were a baby?" 
"I think so." 
You laugh under your breath. 
"What?" he asks. 
"It suits you." Something pretty hiding in plain view. 
"I heard," he says hedgingly, "that freckles are a sign of how you died in a past life." 
"Yeah?" 
"Yeah. Bet it was something really gross, like a parasitic worm-" 
"Ew." 
"Or someone stabbed me. Or shot me. With an arrow." 
"You're only twenty. Your past life would have still been in this century." 
Eddie opens his eyes just to glare at you. "Don't deprive me of a badass past life. How would you have had me die?" 
You push his hair from his face. "You know what I heard about them?" 
"What?" 
Fun to whisper with him like this. Like you’re younger than you are, trading secrets in the dim light. 
"I heard they're kisses from a past life." 
You raise your second hand to his cheek and cradle his face. 
Eddie leans into it. “You wanna give me one for the next?” he asks, a short fall from salacious. 
Your breath doesn’t catch. Your hands don’t shake. “Is that what you want?”
He falters. Bravado slips. Your heart skips a beat, worried maybe he doesn’t like you the way you’re thinking after all. 
“Y/N,” he says.
You can’t hear his rejection. You won’t. 
You close your eyes and kiss his cheek. Your nose slides over his skin, the heat of his blood under the surface warming your palms, and you steal a second there, two, breathing in his smell. If this is all you get, you can be okay with it. Eventually.
You pull away. 
“Thanks, sweetheart,” he says. You can’t tell if he’s joking or not.
𓆩❤︎𓆪
thank you for reading! | my masterlist | this fic is multi-chapter 
if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡
please forgive any mistakes and how long it took, i have been a bit unwell! hopefully it won’t be too long before part four :3
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yamujiburo · 11 days
Text
HANAMUSA HEADCANONS
Woo! Some fun lil headcanons~
Jessie and Delia Headcanons
Delia is a morning person and was surprised to learn that Jessie was even more of a morning person than her
Jessie's a massive romantic and is usually the one to plan all their dates
Jessie and Delia enjoy doing karaoke together
After finding out Delia wanted to be model, Jessie started making a lot of new outfits for her using her years of expertise from making disguises
Jessie enjoys giving Delia makeovers and Delia loves getting them
Delia enjoys being big spoon
Delia initiated their first kiss
Jessie cuts Delia’s hair for her
Once Jessie becomes a nurse and starts going to work, Delia starts packing lunches for her every day. It’s usually way too much food
Whenever Delia’s working in the kitchen, Jessie’s always waddling right behind her. Not really being much help but Delia doesn’t mind
Jessie's not great at cooking but makes an effort to make food for Delia when she notices Delia's tired. It's usually bad but Delia appreciates the thought
Delia is incredibly fond of Jessie’s Pokémon, Wobbuffet and Gourgeist in particular 
Delia is terrified of snake Pokémon
Delia never really drank before meeting Jessie but now they have wine nights together. They usually end with Jessie passed out in Delia’s lap
When Delia gets really drunk, she gets REALLY affectionate and grabby
Delia can't swim and it's her secret shame
Professor Oak is very cordial with Jessie but also wary of her. He mostly wants to make sure Delia is taken care of and won't get her heart broken
Pikachu comes around to Jessie rather quickly after realizing she’s not really a threat and finding out how good at head scratches she is (she has nice long nails)
Mimey takes the longest to come around to Jessie 
Jessie calls Delia “my Deerling” and Delia calls Jessie "Smoochum"
Delia loves when Jessie gives her kisses on the forehead
Delia is a huge Jessilina fan. Jessie reveals that she is Jessilina but Delia doesn’t believe her at first
Jessie and Delia do a lot of movie nights together. Jessie loves sobbing at romcoms and Delia likes really fucked up horror movies for some reason (Jessie’s terrified of them but doesn’t want Delia to think she’s a coward)
Jessie likes to randomly scoop Delia up and carry her around the house
Delia picked up a habit of talking to herself prior to Jessie moving in. It frequently catches Jessie off guard
Jessie gets irritated when people flirt with Delia. Mostly because that's her girl but also because she's mad they weren't flirting with her, herself.
Delia tends to keep a lot of her negative feelings to herself but after meeting Jessie and seeing how unapologetically expressive she is, she starts letting her guard down a bit. She rants about rude customers and Jessie could listen to her all day
Because she lived alone for so long, Delia sometimes needs her space. Jessie’s still getting used to this (as someone who hates being alone)
Delia is very particular about how chores are done as well as how things are organized in her house
Prior to getting her own job, Jessie would just do chores then sit around at the Ketchum house waiting for Delia to come home. She’s very bad at entertaining herself
Jessie puts on a healthy amount of relationship weight over time. Long gone are the days of Jessie eating snow (out of necessity) and starving
Jessie still likes snowgasboard as a treat
Delia and Jessie both have abandonment issues and require a lot of reassurance from one another
Delia's not super strong but she starts working out in order to one day carry Jessie on their wedding day
Jessie, who is used to being on the run, gets antsy from staying home more frequently. She takes up a lot of yoga and running. Delia joins sometimes.
Ash Headcanons
When Ash first found out that his mom was dating Jessie, he was, justifiably, suspicious of her.
Early on Ash would secretly prank Jessie in hopes that it'd make her leave
Jessie and Ash slowly bond through Pokémon battles as well as sharing Pokémon facts with each other
Ash never calls Jessie “mom” and she’s very okay with that. He does however call her “dad” to piss her off
Jessie calls Ash “champ” in retaliation
Jessie's been quietly invested in Ash's love life, having seen him travel with so many people and witnessing all the crushes people have had on him.
James Headcanons
James is aroace and happy not being in a relationship
Now that he's settled down in Pallet, James spends a lot of his time indulging in his many hobbies (bottle cap/Pokéball collecting, gardening, building miniature models of various things, raising and training Pokémon, etc.)
Because Jessie kept passing out at wine nights, Delia started inviting James to them and it's now become more of their thing
James started off as just a waiter at Delia's restaurant but Delia found out he was great at cooking so they exchange roles sometimes
Jessie frequently goes to him for advice on how to impress Delia and be a better person for her. He's the nicest person she knows.
Jessie is still pretty affectionate and close with James and he gets freaked out about it, thinking Delia would have a problem with it (she does not)
James and Ash really get along. Even early on when he was still getting used to Jessie being around the house, he'd confide in James (and James, like a secret helper, would help Jessie out by letting her know Ash's needs)
Meowth Headcanons
Meowth took getting fired from Team Rocket the hardest
Delia and Professor Oak filled the Giovanni shaped hole in his heart
Oak had a really hard time trusting Meowth at first and whenever he translated anything from the Pokémon, Oak wasn't sure whether to believe him or not
After some time working at Oak's lab, Oak gave Meowth a pet on the head after he did a good job and it altered his brain chemistry forever
Meowth had a hard time making friends with Ash's Pokémon at Oak's lab (obviously) but Infernape, right away was happy to have him around. He helped all the Pokémon come around and get to know Meowth
Meowth was the first one to pick up on Jessie's crush on Delia. Unlike James, he didn't get too involved, worried that Jessie dating Delia then potentially blowing it might ruin a good thing (his views on love are a bit jaded after his experiences)
Meowth is now very supportive of Jessie and Delia, and is happy that one of his best friends found love
Other Headcanons
Professor Oak is very cordial with Jessie but also wary of her. He mostly wants to make sure Delia is taken care of and won't get her heart broken
Pikachu comes around to Jessie rather quickly after realizing she’s not really a threat and finding out how good at head scratches she is (she has nice long nails)
Mimey takes the longest to come around to Jessie. Jessie's asked Meowth to help her figure out what Mimey's deal is but Meowth is also scared to talk to Mimey.
Seviper desperately longs for Delia's love and attention but she's too scared of it. She eventually gets to the point where she can pet it with no issues as long as Jessie is also in the room
Early on, Delia's customers start to pick up on the fact that Delia was happier. They assumed she'd finally found a new boyfriend but they were very surprised to find out she was dating a bombshell of a woman
The people of Pallet were initially a bit scared of Jessie. Not a lot of women there look quite like her. She has an intimidating aura but over time find that she's quite pleasant, especially when she's with Delia
General Team Rocket Heacanons!
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bubbles0bop · 3 months
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Hiii! Can we have some Inumaki, Hakari and Nanami bf headcanons? + Anyone you'd like OFC!! :3
Relationship headcanons with the JJK Men
Includes: Nanami, Hakari, Inumaki, Choso
I like this one, you have good taste. Anddd i did take some liberty of adding choso because i've been feeling like writing him as well
Disclaimers: strong language, no gender specified, mention of smoking
Nanami
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He's the type of boyfriend that will be spoiling you goddamn rotten
every month is a new bouquet of flowers trimmed and set in a vase on the kitchen counter
same with gifts. you'll come home to see the outfit you liked at the mall but couldn't afford, probably wrapped nicely in a black box
he's very thoughtful and meticulous, especially with dates
he'll plan for a while and make sure it's something you'll love
since he works such terrible hours, he really likes his quality time so he expects to come home to you and do nothing but cuddle or maybe do something like read together
this is random but i feel like he would be a massive critique for no reason
like "sweetie did you notice how tangy this loaf of bread tastes? do you think we should go back there next time?"
or when you're watching a movie it's not uncommon for him to say something like "ugh, this is so unrealistic, she would never fall for that type of trick."
I also think he would accidentally be really into it if you guys watched a kdrama together
Hakari
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he's the type of guy that would say "wear what you want, i can fight." period.
he loves to talk- a professional yapper, if you will- but you love it
he talks your ear off about his hobbies (gambling) and some stupid people he may have had to deal with that day
he's pretty nonchalant in general and doesn't try to stress a lot over trivial stuff which means fights wouldn't last long
i get kind of a vibe that he would smoke some herb from time to time but he wouldn't shove it in your face if you don't want him to
he would love to share a coffee with you in the morning, and would probably order you both breakfast
i feel like with dates he's totally going to go with the flow but he loves new things so there's always something for you guys to do together, whether it's movies, or clubs.
Inumaki
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your time together can sometimes be... quiet. 😭
i imagine that he's big on physical touch and doesn't care much about PDA (but he won't go too far)
i think his top two love languages are physical touch and acts of service
he's the type of guy that would become your personal nurse if you are sick or get your period
he's also the type where if you were chilling on your phone or reading a book he would do it with you, enjoying some peaceful silence
the jjk fan book mentions that he likes to do Youtube which brings the thought of what would he do on there if he can't exactly talk like the average person?
i'd say he makes cooking videos or posts the pranks that Panda and him do to their friends
he loves to eat with you, it's your thing. he would cook or bring you out to restaurants so you guys could rate the food
you, of course, have also learned his 2nd language over time and unlike megumi, you sometimes respond just like Inumaki does
Choso
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honestly if i were to guess, i think he would show his partner love by telling them. very directly.
He's not too much of a cuddler but he'll do it immediately upon your request
He has a dry sense of humor, so dry that no one really knows if it's a joke or not
i think he is more outwardly protective of you than most- so if he catches anyone staring he'll yell at them to 'fuck off!'
I also don't think he would hold his opinions back just to make people happy so if you ask, "how do you think i look in this?" he'll say exactly how he feels- not really in an a insulting way, ever-more truthfully than hurtfully.
he likes to do things that you enjoy, like shopping and he'll help you pick out outfits
he, himself, would probably suggest dates that are calm and intimate, like picnic dates, stargazing, and maybe going out for smoothies/boba
i feel like he would love to try boba after you tell him about it, because he likes sweet things over bitter (like coffee)
i could imagine him being the type to grab your waist from behind while you're busy doing anything
he also really craves your attention when you aren't near him, even if he doesn't say that.
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I'm almost done with part 3 of Blacksmith's Daughter.
But I have once more found myself weak against the headcanons and giggling uncontrollably at my own train of thought.
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So this time
What would happen if you found yourself with a bag o' weed?
Whatever here we feckinGOOO
Because I Got High
OPLA!Zoro, Sanji, Shanks, Mihawk, Buggy X Reader
Headcanons
NSFW because context and stuff
♫♬Creepin Up The Backstairs - The Fratellis♬♫
Don't just say yes to tease me, do your utmost to please me
I don't mean to be sleazy, being you can't be easy
Zoro
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"I mean, I've never tried it, but...."
Never done this before, usually have to have friends to introduce you to this sort of thing, and he was fairly lacking in the friend department until recently.
But basically, the hell with it, why not?
Just watching you roll it up in curiosity and borderline nervousness—
No, he's not nervous, shut up.
First hit and he's trying not to cough up a lung, shoving at you while you giggle about it.
Once it hits, he's in absolute awe of...well, basically everything.
Has never been so relaxed in his entire life what is this sorcery?
Falling back into his favorite hammock and pulling you down with him, just staring up at the ceiling in wonder.
Mentions after several minutes of silence that he can't feel his teeth and then just dissolves into hysterical laughter.
Cannot stop grinning, so comfortable and at ease with everything, kissing at your temple and your neck and pulling you closer against him.
Literally just wants to cuddle at this point, not anything more than that. Just lay there and hold you close, relax, breathe you in and enjoy the warmth and comfort of your body against his.
"....Fuck."
Sanji
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"Excuse me, you have what? Oh, this is going to be fun."
He's worked in a professional kitchen. This is not his first rodeo.
Also, hand over the ganja. You're not smoking it, you're cooking with it. Or in actuality, infusing it into butter and cooking with that, to ensure even distribution.
Again. Not his first rodeo. Whatever he does come up with, be it brownies or cookies or are those churros???, you know he knows what he's doing.
Just leaves plates of edibles laid out across the kitchen of the Merry, and no one knows but the two of you.
Luffy eats an entire plate of brownies and is practically in a coma fifteen minutes later, laying sprawled out on the deck and pointing at a cloud every so often to comment on what it looks like.
Nami and Usopp sitting in the corner, alternating between giggling and dying in laughter at the pitiful state of their captain.
Zoro decided he was going to wash dishes for some reason, but you're pretty sure he's been scrubbing the same plate for five minutes.
You and Sanji standing off in another corner, leaning over each other and cracking up at the chaos you have managed to wreak among the crew.
And it gives the two of you the perfect opportunity to slip off to bed, which you definitely don't waste.
As flirty and playful as he is on a normal basis is doubled right now, and whether you're giggling or moaning beneath him, he's absolutely thrilled with the outcome of this endeavor.
"Oh, so much fun...." 
Shanks
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"Oh, sweetheart, we are going to the moon."
Do you even have to ask?
The second you tell him you found a bag of the green in the contraband hold in the Marine ship you just sunk, he's grinning like an idiot.
Grabbing you, an officer or two, leaving someone else in charge for a while, and you're all smoking out the captain's cabin.
Thirty minutes later, amid the haze of smoke, Benn's sitting in the corner just staring at his hands in borderline terror. No thoughts, just oh dear gods hands.
Yasopp's doubled over the map table, laughing hysterically at something Shanks said five minutes ago.
Shanks has pulled you on top of him on his bed, arm curled around you, kissing you slowly, no worry at all of any other parties present.
But every so often, his head drops down to his pillows, and he spouts off some high-wisdom one-liner, and just stares off into space for a moment in wonder.
"If...if you drop a bar of soap on the floor...is the soap dirty, or is the floor clean?"
Mihawk
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"You have what? Why?"
Disapproving stare.
Well, he might have dabbled in his younger years (no it had nothing to do with Shanks quit asking), but not for quite some time.
It dampens his senses, it's not worth the trouble.
But...maybe it wouldn't hurt, just this once.
Ten minutes later, he's laid back across his bed, arm curled around you, completely at one with everything.
Just staring up at the ceiling, thinking.
Everything makes perfect sense, everything is one, and it's just delightful.
If you need advice about anything, now is the time to ask, because all the secrets of the universe are now his.
He has no idea how far gone he actually is and honestly it's pretty hilarious.
Glares at you when you point it out—before giving a snort-laugh and agreeing with you.
It's a rarity that you get to see him this relaxed and unbothered, so enjoy it while it lasts.
Definitely initiate a make-out session; he's going to take it very slow, and very thorough, savoring you even more than he usually would.
"Mmm, you taste divine, little one...."
Buggy
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"Are you serious? Oh, hell yes—"
Eyes light up like a kid at Christmas, you have what?!?!
Oh, he's down as a clown.
He literally said that line, and then grinned so hard that you almost don't want to shove him overboard for it.
He's more than prepared to make sure there are munchies available—mainly chocolate, since he has a serious sweet tooth.
Taking a toke and then kissing along your neck, making you giggle.
Unlike drinking, this is a private affair, just you and him. You're the only one who gets to see this side of him.
Making you giggle gives him life, so he's going to be murmuring stupid jokes in your ear in between trying to make you moan, and he'll settle for either.
"Ooh, yeah, that's it, baby—just give me what's mine."
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carlyraejepsans · 9 months
Note
Rate UT characters on likely they are to eat spoiled food
premise: as monster food does not spoil, this speculation is based on how i think they'd treat human food in the post pacifist ending
frisk. trash burger. enough said. (also i hc that they grew up on the streets, so... not a lot of chances to be picky with your food.)
sans. second most likely. there's milk in the fridge bought specifically for him to drink out of the carton whenever frisk's or papyrus' friends come to visit, like a stereotypical disney channel older brother (he loves being annoying on purpose). it's been there for a month. he's still not done with it. it's probably rancid. enjoyer of food and lover of even shittier food. mr worst burger on the menu. he is ESPECIALLY gross about food and he is gross about it on purpose, he will peel an apple for papyrus and then take a bite out of it before cutting him a slice. and then call him a wuss when he acts disgusted. ("stop being a baby bones, we have the same germs anyway" "NO WE DON'T. *YOU* HAVE GERMS! AND I DON'T WANT ANY OF THEM!!" "why? they're pedigreed" "OUGH!?!!"). he mostly uses it as a chance to make a gag (or a lack of gagging, lol) but his strong stomach did also come in handy in the early days of papyrus' interest in cooking
mettaton, of sequins-and-glue hamburgers fame. he's technically tied for 2nd place with sans, but i put him in third because i feel like sans does it on purpose, for mettaton it's more like... a side effect of starting life off as a ghost. few people question it since he's a robot now.
alphys. she doesn't go out of her way to do it, but she buys her snacks in industrial pallet-fuls to reduce social interactions to a minimum, so by the time she reaches the last 3 or 4 packets of blue takis, they're well past their expiration date. not that it stops her. now, this wouldn't happen on the surface because she gets better and has a solid support system, but if monster food could spoil back when she was going Through it with the amalgamates, i feel like she'd either be too depressed or tired to care and eat it, or she'd tumble into a "g-god. you can't even take care of your own f-food. is there anything you can't fuck up" self-deprecation spiral and lose her appetite altogether
flowey. did it to see what would happen. nothing did. never did it again. tbh I just don't think he eats much of anything, spoiled or not.
undyne. getting into the "wouldn't eat spoiled food" tier. she actually thinks it's really gross but papyrus tricks her into doing it by challenging her machismo. she gets SO sick from it. they do this aprox 3 times a month. rinse and repeat
asgore. he's a gardener, and i can see him working in a community garden on the surface, so he'd have access to a lot of fresh produce, for both himself and to give away. however, if some of it were to go bad, he'd probably cut off the affected bit and eat the rest so it doesn't go to waste.
toriel. she is SUPER careful about expiration dates and mold and checks to make sure all she owns is still safe to eat almost weekly. this level of care, however, is mostly meant for other people, not herself, but she would really rather not eat anything that's gone bad. same reasoning as alphys', IF monster food could spoil when she was still in the RUINs, i could technically see her biting the bullet, if only because 1) she was also heavily depressed and struggling to take care of herself, though i think she might sooner skip out on the meal altogether, rather than eat something spoiled, and 2) the awkward stares from the other monsters in the RUINs supermarket might not be something she's willing to deal with on any given day.
papyrus. he would NOT. no way. master of cleaning, germophobe extraordinaire papyrus (well, not really, but he plays the part). if toriel is meticulous, papyrus is obsessive. there better not be a SINGLE spot on his food. and no lines or plaid patterns either!! he WILL wash it untill it goes away. with soap probably. canonically a picky eater to begin with (his picks are just weird as balls). can should and WILL get on sans' ass about his unhealthy eating habits, and that includes eating food that's gone bad.
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raineydays411 · 10 months
Text
My Father's Daughter
Part 9
Summary: You've been at the Wayne Manor for over a month.
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In some weird way you understand Christine.
You understand why she tries so hard to spend time with you while you're in her home. Why she begs for you to get off of your phone and cook with her. You get why she tries to make the other kids be nice to you. Scolds them harshly when they make snide comments underneath their breath about you.
Truly, you do.
You just...genuinely don't give a shit.
You don't care that she feels bad that she abandoned you for a completely other family and you don't care that she feels like she's losing time to create a bond with you.
You did not care.
Really, you didn't.
"Um,kid... you know I love you but I'm really not that kind of doctor" Bruce Banner said awkwardly over facetime.
You sigh. "Yeah I know B. You were just the first one to pick up the phone."
"Ouch." Banner laughed, " you know, you really are your fathers child."
You smile, one of the rare times you actually did nowadays. " How is the old man?"
You haven't been able to call him since he was paranoid whoever wants you would track your phone calls and find out where you are.
"Your father is even more annoying now without you than he ever has been in my entirety of knowing him" Banner deadpans, " He misses you a lot kiddo, we all do."
You smile sadly, missing your family.
It was hard, seeing these people you barely knew, with a mother you barely knew, stuck in a house you barely knew.
And the fact that they feel like a family. They argue and play jokes on each other. They eat with each other every afternoon ( Bat activities at night), Bruce kisses Christine goodbye when he goes to work. It was so domestic in its weird little ways.
But you didn't fit in.
They laughing and the jokes stopped whenever you walked into the room. The conversations were stale.
It was depressing.
It's not like they ignored you, oh no. That would've been preferable.
No half of them trip over their feet to try and include you in whatever they're doing.
Dick will turn blue chatting your ear off about whatever he thinks will get you to open up to him and Christine?
She will bend over backwards, frontwards, and sideways just to get you to acknowledge she gave birth to you. Every night she comes into your room and tries to talk to you about your life. And every question is met with a dull answer
"So any boys that catch your interest here?" " I don't know, I can't leave the premises"
"Were you in any sports? You look like you'd be a cheerleader like your momma!" " I was in mathletes and debate like Pepper"
"You really are beautiful my baby" "Thanks, everyone says I look like my dad"
It really was a struggle to get you to open up. Almost everyone at the manor had a hard time even starting a conversation with you.
Everyone except of course Alfred and surprisingly Jason Todd.
Alfred won you over as soon as you moved in. He vouched for you when you needed time alone and brings you snacks>
Jason is a whole different story.
See, the reason why it's so hard for everyone to talk to you is because they all refuse to acknowledge the elephant in the room. They're treating you like you were some other orphan Annie they decided to adopt and you just have no family waiting and missing you.
Jason doesn't.
In fact, it was him who caught you trying to sneak out of the mansion the first week you were there. Instead of scolding you or telling on you, he took you out.
"A cap and sunglasses? Kid, that's not a disguise."
"What do you mean?"
He took you to a diner he frequents, a tour of the rooftops to avoid people, and to the safe house he took over from Bruce.
"Tell me about your life." He demands, not asks.
You smile and tell him about it. Your life growing up with the Avengers, school and what major you're going for, that brief fling you had with Pietro before you had to move to Gotham.
It was nice. To be with someone that didn't want to change you. He didn't try to force you into forgiveness and let you vent. He even gave some pretty sound advice.
"You know, at some point you are going to forgive her." He says ignoring your indignant stare, " You don't gotta be bestfriends with her or anything, but that anger is going to either slowly consume you or slowly go way. And believe me, you want it to slowly go way."
And he was right in some ways. The longer you're there, the less anger there is and the more hurt replaces it. It festers inside you like some disease. The symptoms slowly leaking out every time one of them calls her mom.
Every night she comes into your room and tries to pry into your life as if she didn't voluntarily leave it, you feel it.
Everytime you see her brush Cassandra's hair out of her eyes, or kiss damian on the forehead. It's the gentle way she smiles whenever she sees Tim hyperfocused on mission reports, and the way she gets so excited whenever Dick or Jason walk through the front door. Hugging them and chiding them for not visiting more.
It hurts you that they truly are a family.
And after a while, it gets hard for you to try and say that you truly didn't give a shit.
Because honestly, you did
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Taglist: @stupendousnightmaretrash @opheliaas-stuff
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lincolndjarin · 5 months
Text
Best Kept Secret
chapter twenty six : crucifixion
ao3 link ✿ series masterlist ✩ main masterlist ✧
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pairing : bodyguard!Din Djarin x afab!princess!reader
rating : 18+ mdni
word count : 12.7k
summary : judgement day.
warnings: major character death, above canon typical violence, very brief references to suicide, torture, body horror (briefly), feelings of despair, blood, wounds, general kodo grossness, vomit (reader vomits several times, it is never described in detail), language, angst, brief smut, pregnancy, death, reader is not doing well in this like she's at a breaking point, i may have missed some so feel free to let me know.
a/n: please read the warnings on this chap! it's the most serious of the bks updates, definitely a bit more intense than the rest. gonna work on getting 27 out within the next few day. i've been terrified of releasing this chapter since i started writing it so once i post this i'm going to dig a hole and sit in it and hide for a while lmao.
i changed my editing style so if there's spelling errors lmk!! apologies in advance!!
“My room is too big.” 
He bursts into genuine peals of laughter and you gently smack his arm.
“Don’t laugh, it’s a serious issue! My room is enormous.” You’re giggling along with him now, it’s the hardest you’ve ever heard him laugh. You both just laugh for a few minutes, as if each other's company is the most amusing thing in the world. 
Once your giggles fizzle out you wait another moment before breaking the silence. 
“Where did you grow up?” You can’t see him but you can sense where he sits in the darkness, you crawl forward so you’re sitting between his legs, your own legs wrap around his waist. “I’m just curious.” 
“Aq Vetina.” You can’t recall anything about the planet. You aren’t even sure you’ve heard of it. 
“Do you remember your parents well? You don’t talk about them very much.” You put your hands on his shoulders, ever so slowly moving them up to his neck until you’re cupping his face. 
“I’ll never forget them.” He whispers. 
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. We can’t change the past.” You rub your nose against his, bumping them together as you hum and nod. “My mother loved ships. We didn’t travel, we never had a reason to, but she would take me outside and we’d watch ships fly past. I could never comprehend how she knew the name for all of them, it blew my mind.” You wrap your arms around his neck, staying silent in hopes that he’ll continue, he so rarely speaks so much. “My father worked a lot but he always made time for us, he was always home in time to say goodnight to me. He was always around when I needed him, he always provided for us. On his day off he’d spend the whole day cooking, I’d sit on the kitchen counter and tell him what my mother and I had done that week. When she’d come home we’d all eat dinner together.” 
“You sound like you were a happy child.” You can’t help but smile. 
“I never had reason to be otherwise.” He says it so matter of factly that you don’t doubt it for a second. He was loved. It only makes you smile wider.         
“What were you like, as a child?”
“Well behaved.” You immediately begin laughing once more. 
“I find that hard to believe.”
“Believe it. My mother homeschooled me, she always made sure I had manners. I wasn’t particularly athletic or talkative so I didn’t play with other kids a lot. It was just me and mama.” He sounds far away, it makes you want to hold him close and never let him go.
“So what did you do all day?” Your tone has softened significantly. 
“I would sew.” 
“Be serious.” He’s the one who laughs now at the disbelief in your voice.
“I am! I would sit with my mother after my lessons and we’d sew.” His fingertips dance along the back of your neck as he reminisces. 
“What kinds of things?” You don’t tease. When you really think about it you suppose such a hobby is fitting for him. A task that requires precision and care. 
“I would help her make clothes and blankets that she would sell most days. On the weekends she’d let me do whatever I wanted so I would practice my embroidery.” 
“My heart is actually about to explode out of my chest, you’re so cute.” You put on a mocking tone but the thought of such a thing really does make your heart clench. “Little Din Djarin stitching his name into his clothes.”
“You’re a cruel woman.” He leans forward, knocking his forehead against yours, almost as if he were reprimanding you. 
“What sorts of things would you embroider?” Your tone goes back to genuine, you could listen to him talk about himself for days and you’d never get bored. 
“Whatever my mother wanted. I would ask her what I should do and then I’d stitch it onto her blanket or the hem of her skirt. Mostly flowers, she loved daisies.” You’re pretty sure one of your ovaries literally popped at the thought of a little boy with dark curls and big brown eyes sitting beside his mother and embroidering a daisy onto her skirt. Your heart flutters a bit as you think of the necklace he got you. The silver outline of a flower you now realize is a daisy. “If he was ever gone for more than one night for work my father would bring her daisies, one for each day he was away.”
“Do you still know how?”
“I used to fix Grogu’s clothes when he ripped them but I haven’t done much else since I was a boy. He says it with finality but you carry on, not wanting him to stop talking. 
“What were their names? Your parents?”
“Clara and Arin Djarin.”  
“Those are pretty names.”
“What was it like for you? You said you had seven siblings right?”
“Eight actually.” You think of them now. There were eight of you and your parents' love for all of you combined wasn’t even a tenth of how much Din’s parents loved him. 
“Do you like having a big family?” He lifts you off of his lap, laying you back down as he crawls on top of you, laying against your chest. 
“I love it. I miss my siblings everyday, do you think we’ll be able to visit them someday?”
“If it’s safe to, of course we will.” He tilts his head, if you weren’t in darkness he’d be looking at you. 
“I wish they had visited here. They would have loved you.”
“You think?”
“Are you kidding me? The younger ones would adore you.” You tangle your finger in his hair, scratching his scalp. “Kids just naturally like you.” 
“They just haven’t learned to fear me.” You frown when he says it like a fact.
“I think it’s more than that.”
“Yeah?” The hopeful tilt to his voice has you leaning down to press a kiss into his hair. 
“Kids are intuitive, they can sense that you’re a good person.” He tenses up as you tell him he’s a good person. You know exactly what he’s thinking about now, how he punched your husband and then refused to leave. 
Neither one of you wants to talk about that though, not today. 
“What kind of room would you want? Since your current room isn’t to your liking.” He’s quick to change the subject and you let him.
“In all honesty, I like the cabin, I wish we could just live there.” You run your fingers through his curls as you think about it, gently pulling through any tangles.
“My cabin?” His voice is full of uncertainty as he pulls back a bit.
“It’s nice.” You feel a bit defensive, you consider the cabin to be the closest thing you have to a home. “Can you imagine getting to stay on Naboo? We could spend our mornings walking the market.” You rest your hand on the back of his neck now. “We could get jobs in the city, and then at night we’d come home.” 
“To the cabin?” He still sounds rather skeptical of your hypothetical future. 
“I’d cook dinner, you’d do the chores.”
“The cabin’s a bit small for us.” 
“We’d make it a bit bigger, add a few bedrooms, we don’t need that much space.” 
“A few?” He turns his head, his lips brush against your collar briefly as he kisses you there, freezing up when you speak again. 
“At least two, one for us and then some for any little Djarin’s who might need space.” With that he sits up entirely, his legs straddle your stomach.
“Little Djarin’s?”
“And Grogu, he would come live with us as well.” 
“You’d want him to live with us?”
“Of course, he’s a little Djarin.” Your hands rest on his thighs now as he seemingly ponders above you. He hums to himself in silence for a moment and you can’t help but grin at how seriously he’s taking all of this. 
“How many?” He finally speaks again and you laugh at the bluntness of his question. 
“Kids?”
“How many would you want?”
“You go first.” You haven’t ever talked about this sort of thing so you want to gauge his answer first so you don’t scare him too much with all the kids talk. 
“Maybe five? Or six.”
“Six?” Your voice pitches up immediately and you feel a rumble in his chest as he laughs. 
“Or five.”
“How about two, counting Grogu.” Turns out you didn’t need to worry about scaring him off. 
“How about three?” Three is manageable. 
“Counting Grogu?” 
“Counting Grogu.” He seems satisfied with that. 
“I suppose we could have three, you’re the one who has to build all the extra bedrooms.”��
“I don’t mind.”
“I’d work at the library and you’d work in a shipyard, we’d take turns staying home with the kids.” You pull him back to you, taking his hands and dragging him to lay his head on your chest once more.
“I’ve got enough savings, neither one of us has to work if you’d like.” It sends a twinge of pain to your heart how real this conversation has become, knowing that this exact dream isn’t possible. 
You could always make parts of it real.
Someday. 
“I’d want to work, to get out of the house, but you could stay home if you’d like.”
“When they’re still ik’aad, at least for the first few years I’d want to be with them.” He’s going to be a wonderful father. 
“Then I’d work, not long hours, just enough to get me out of the house, when I come home I’d give you a break, you could do the shopping and I’d watch the little’s.” 
“We’d go as a family, I wouldn’t want ‘a break.’” 
“You’d want to wrangle three kids in the markets?” You scoff in disbelief but he continues to sound completely serious. 
“They’d be well behaved.” You seriously doubt that. 
“What about either one of us makes you think our children will be well behaved? Is Grogu well behaved?” 
“We’ll manage.”
“They’ll be wild.” They will, not they would. 
“And smart.” He sits up again, hovering above you to give you a quick kiss. 
“And happy.” There isn’t a doubt in your mind that your children would be happy with Din as their father. 
“You’d really want to live here? I could build us a house anywhere.”
“I like Naboo, at least everything outside of the castle. I don’t even mind the castle, I just don’t care for the people inside it.” It’s true, somewhere along the way this place grew on you immensely. You love the city and the people in it. “And they’d get to play in the garden.” 
“I would build you a cabin anywhere you wanted, and I’d plant you a new garden.” He kisses along your cheeks and forehead as he speaks. 
“You wouldn’t need to plant me a garden if we lived here.” You insist. 
“We can’t live here, mesh’la.” He rubs a small circle with his thumb against your cheek. “This is too serious now, we’re supposed to be relaxed today.”
“When did we agree on that?” You muster up a weak laugh. 
“It was a silent mutual agreement.”
“I’m plenty relaxed.” You mumble. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, his stubble tickling you as you let out an airy giggle. 
“I’m actually very tense and I think we should take a break from all this talking and take care of that.” He mumbles against your shoulder.
“Oh?”
“Mhmm.” He emphasizes his point by pressing his erection against your hip, you hadn’t even realized that this is where he was going with that. 
“How long have you been waiting to jump me?”
“When we started talking about the five kids I was gonna put in you.” He continues to nip at your neck and shoulders as he speaks. 
“Skipping the agreed upon three and going straight to five already? You’re not even going to attempt to negotiate for four?” 
“So you’re open to four?” He pulls back and you can hear his smile. 
“Let’s start with one and go from there.”
“Right now?” His hips stutter down a bit against yours. 
“Maker, you’re insatiable.” You both burst into another fit of laughter. 
“What’s the worst thing that could happen?”
“I could get pregnant, and considering the lack of sex I’ve had with my husband I’m sure that might raise a few eyebrows.” 
“It would never get to that point, when we’re in the clear with this whole Kodo mess I’m getting you out of here.”
“Like… actually leaving Naboo?” 
“Exactly like that. I’m gonna take you far away from here when this is over, gonna keep you all for myself.” His hands move down, giving your hips a squeeze. 
“I’m already yours.” You laughed, rolling over to be on top of him. He’s right, if you’re going to leave anyway then what’s the worst thing that could happen? 
You never talked about that night after that. 
When everything sorted itself out you realized how crazy your fear had made you. You couldn’t just leave. At least that’s what you’d told yourself, now you feel like an idiot for not holding him to his words. It wasn’t realistic, you both knew actually leaving would take so much more preparation than a few whispered ideas during a time where neither one of you was in any position to be making such promises. 
It was just talk.
Lysa came to get you from the dining room. 
After everyone left you had no motivation to move, you just stood there, frozen in time. After a few hours she found you, she had taken your hand and walked you back to your chambers. She held your hand, she kept you upright when you threatened to crumble. And when you felt a wave of nausea ripple through you she rushed you to the fresher, a hand on your back as you threw up all over again. 
You sat breathlessly on the tile, Lysa rubbing your back.
“Gods, I’ve been nauseous since the wedding. Even before everything fell apart.” It’s the first words you’ve spoken since they took Din, your stomach is still churning. “This has never happened before.” You groan, you’ve had many moments of upset throughout your life, but none that made you physically ill. Lysa looks almost painfully worried. 
“Ma’am… is there a chance you might be…” 
Kriff.
You never talked about that night after that. 
Maybe you should have. 
You both did a lot of things during those days. You had been so angry, and he had done everything in his power to ease that anger, to keep both of you as happy as someone could be in your situation. 
You shouldn’t have used that as an excuse to be reckless. 
“I’d like to go to bed.” 
“Of course.” She helps you to your feet, walking you back to your room, you turn to her one last time before you close the door. 
“I’m sorry. Elaine never should have gotten involved in all this.” You’d trade places with her in a heartbeat if you could. 
“It’s not your fault.” She truly seems to believe that. 
Except it is. Elaine never would have found herself in this situation if she hadn’t so often been helping the two of you keep your secret. 
“Goodnight, Lysa.” 
“Goodnight, princess.” 
You lay on the bed, unable to bring yourself to sleep in the closet. 
It’s cold. Colder than Hoth, as you stare at the ceiling in your far too big bed in your far too big room. Even bigger now that it’s just you. 
You let your hand roam down your torso to rest on your stomach.
Just you, hopefully. 
You’re now having nightly dinners with Kodo. 
You don’t get any respite from him, you just want to stay in bed. You’re nauseous and tired and your head hasn’t stopped spinning since that night. A million thoughts a minute. 
Where is he?
Is he okay?
What the fuck can I do about it?
Mostly that. 
The worst part is your lack of a plan. If the roles were reversed Din would have already rescued you and you’d be living happily ever after. 
But that isn’t how your story is going. Instead you are alone, with no scheme on how to get to him. It’s only been three days but it’s driving you insane, you have never known such hopelessness, it’s maddening. To sit alone in your room all day, staring at the ceiling until Lysa comes to dress you for dinner. Neither one of you ever speaks, afterall, what would you say to each other?
“I’m sorry the love of your life had been sentenced to die?”
How morbid. 
Not that you’re above being morbid. 
You think about it often. How easy it would be to drive your dinner knife into Kodo’s throat. You’re seated beside him now at dinner, both of you at the head of the table, joined by the rest of his family. 
The thought of killing him is the only thing that brings you peace these days. You’ve never once in your life been violent until now. Din is good. He’s a good man. In every way he is the opposite of your husband yet Din is the one locked away, Maker knows where, while Kodo is being rewarded. 
It doesn’t make you mad, it makes you furious. 
It makes you want to poison his wine. 
But you don’t have poison. 
And you can’t put yourself in danger. Because you feel fundamentally different, and even if you refuse to think that such a thing is possible you know you wouldn’t just be putting yourself in danger. There’s more at stake now. 
That’s what you tell yourself to stay calm, a feat that is getting harder by the minute as you’re sat beside Kodo who is currently bragging about how he defeated a Mandalorian. 
“They aren’t as strong as you think they are. Under the armor they’re weak, pathetic.” 
It took six battle droids to keep him down. You didn’t even get near him. 
“Some people just need to be taught a lesson, don’t touch what isn’t yours.” He sneers and the rest of the table erupts into laughter. “I certainly taught that horned bitch a lesson as well, you all should have seen what they brought me last night.” 
You perk up, this is the only thing they’ve said in days that truly matters to you. You’ve heard nothing about the current state of either of them until now. 
“What did they do to Elaine?” Everyone’s head turns to you, all their expressions look as if you’ve announced something treasonous but Kodo smiles as if he were explaining something to a child. 
“She was properly punished, the way someone who observed such a crime with no intervention should be.” He puts his hand over yours when he says it. 
You don’t ask for any follow up. 
You don’t think you could stomach it, so you stay silent for the rest of your meal. When you’re finished you stand, the rest of the table is starting to pour more drinks but you simply lean down, mumbling something about being tired before giving Kodo a quick kiss on the cheek and dismissing yourself. 
You’re waiting for the night where he joins you in your chambers, after all his father is dead, but it has yet to happen. He had told you that once he was king he would be in need of heirs but he seems happy enough with his pleasure houses and you’re more than grateful for the women you entertain him so you don’t have to. 
So you return to your chambers alone, peeling off your gown before burying yourself under the covers. 
Sleep evades you as you toss and turn. You aren’t even tired, there’s too much going on in your mind, there’s no room for exhaustion. After about an hour you manage to drift in and out of unconsciousness, earning a brief reprieve from your anxieties until a sharp knocking has you jolting upright. 
You don your robe, rubbing sleep from your eyes as you rush to the door, you’re too tired to wonder who might even be bothering you at such an hour as you pull the door open. 
Lysa?
“We have to hurry, ma’am.” She grabs your arm, frantically tugging you into the hall. 
“Lysa? What are you doing? Are you okay?” 
“I am fine, but we don’t have much time.”
“Surely you have enough to tell me where we are going.” 
“Do you want to see him or not?” 
Din.
You nod, taking her hand as he rushes onward, stopping at each hall to peer around the corners until you make your way to a servants stairwell, skipping several steps in your descent until you run out of stairs. You’ve never been down here, you didn’t even know there were dungeons until recently. 
It makes your stomach twist in knots the moment you stare into the darkness. 
“Are there no guards?” You whisper, squeezing her hand.
“Not for the next hour, I’ve made sure of it.” She begins walking down the poorly lit corridor, pulling you along behind her. 
The stone floor is damp and it smells of mildew. Your bare feet are already freezing after just a few steps.
Every cell you pass is lit from the outside with a hanging lantern, they’re mostly empty, but you catch glimpses of movement out of the corner of your eye every now and then. In all honesty you’re doing your best to take in as little as possible, you don’t want to think about Din being down here in such a place, but there’s one element you can’t ignore. 
The wailing. 
Someone is weeping, a low, sorrowful song filling the vast maze of halls and you realize quickly you’re heading in its direction, Lysa tenses beside you as you continue on. You’re about to turn one more corner when she abruptly stops, turning to face you.
“He needs to eat.” She removes a fistful of rations from her apron pocket, shoving them into your hands. 
“He hasn’t?” He’s been down here for three days. 
“He won’t… let me.” You pause, cocking your head to the side and she gives you an apologetic look when she turns. “He won’t let me uncover his face.”
Oh. 
“I’ll feed him.” You nod slowly, tucking them into your own pockets before turning the corner. The contents of the cell immediately on your right have you stumbling backwards but Lysa is not swayed, pulling a key from her pocket, unlocking the door quickly before handing it to you. 
“He’s two cells down, on your right.” She doesn’t look at you as she rushes in, pulling a roll of bandages from her dress. “Shh… it’s okay, I’m here.” Her voice goes soft as she kneels beside Elaine. You can’t help it as you step into the entryway of the cell. 
Well, you’ve found the source of the wailing. 
She’s sat on a cot, curled in on herself as Lysa carefully peels back a series of soiled bandages from her face. 
“I’ve got you, it’s just me.” She continues to make an attempt to sooth a rather hysterical Elaine as she peels back the final layer of bandages and your stomach flips. “You’re okay, love, I need to change these.” You don’t know how Lysa is so calm, even in the darkness you can see the extent of her wounds. Now you know what they brought Kodo last night.  
Both eyes. 
“She was properly punished, the way someone who observed such a crime with no intervention should be.” 
Oh gods. 
You’re worried you may collapse as you watch Lysa tend to her with no hesitation, cleaning them with a careful hand before she begins to redress them. You can’t bear to watch any longer as Elaine begins sobbing once more. You try desperately to force the sight of your mutilated friend from your mind as you count down two more cells before quickly fumbling for the lock, letting it hit the floor as you take the lantern outside the door off its hook, bringing it into the dark room. 
It isn’t like Elaine’s cell. 
There’s no bed or interior light, it’s terribly dark and fetid, his cell running deeper than her’s. It takes a few steps for you to finally illuminate the room enough to see him. 
Maker. 
What have they done to your Din? 
You don’t hear Elaine anymore, there isn't a single thing that could distract you from the scene in front of you. There is nothing but the sight of your kar’ta. There’s too much for you to worry about, you don’t even know where to start, you’re frozen in place, a small part of your brain refuses to recognize the man before you as Din at all. He shouldn’t look like this. 
Armorless. 
They’ve stripped him of any clothing you recognize, the thought alone makes you nearly lose your dinner. 
They took his helmet, replacing it with a linen sack.  
Did they see his face?
You briefly have to shut your eyes, taking a deep breath as you take in the rest of him. His clothes are too thin, he must be freezing, they’ve dressed him in a cotton tunic and trousers that end just below the knee. You can see just how beaten and bruised he is. Unlike Elaine he’s in chains, kneeling on the floor with his hands shackled, taut above his head. You swallow the lump in your throat and finally crouch down in front of him, setting the lantern down beside you as you reach out to place a hand on his chest.
“Din…” Your voice cracks and the moment you come in contact with him he flinches back. Suddenly you know how Lysa held it together so well with Elaine, she just had to. You can’t fall apart, who would care for him now if you did? “It’s me, just me. Just me.” You whisper and place a hand over his heart but withdraw it quickly when he trembles under your touch. You ache at the sight of it but more than anything you’re confused, it only takes a moment for you to realize the issue. 
He doesn’t have his helmet. They’ve not only left him here blind, but deaf, of course any touch would frighten him. 
He assumes you're here to harm him. 
You lean in, careful not to come in contact with him as you speak clearly and loudly. 
“Din?” His trembling stops instantly. You find it a bit troublesome how much worse his hearing seems to have gotten in such a short time, you’re half tempted to reach under the bag to make sure he still has his ears. 
“Sarad?” Oh, Din. His voice is terribly small and it sends you forward, wrapping your arms around him as you pull him into an unreciprocated embrace. 
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” You make sure to speak loud enough for him before pulling back, placing your hands against the fabric covering his face. 
“Are you okay?” He coughs a bit as he asks and you almost laugh at how ridiculous the question is considering the state he’s in. Are you okay? 
Technically no. 
But far better than he’s doing. 
“I’m perfectly fine, what can I do for you? Are you hurting?” You feel his face through the bag as you look down across his body. It doesn’t look like there’s been any permanent damage outside of a pretty nasty cut on one of his legs. 
“Don’t worry about me.”
“Now’s not the time to play the hero, Din.” He flinches a little and you calm your tone immediately. What the hell did they do to him? “Just let me help.”
“How’d you get down here?” 
“Lysa, she says you aren’t eating.” 
“She’d have to lift my- the bag to do it.” He sounds apologetic, as if you could ever fault him for following his creed. 
“It’s okay… may I?” You bring your hands to the hem of the bag but his head turns sharply.
“I- I don’t want you to look.” 
You have no response. He’s always wanted you to look. 
“I just, I don’t think you wanna see the condition I’m in. I don’t want your only memories of my face to be this.” He whispers when you don’t respond.
You should have looked when he asked you to. You should have done a lot of things differently. 
You shouldn’t have waited so long to look. 
You shouldn't have waited so long to tell him you loved him. 
You should have just let yourself love him. Why did you fight it for so long? It seems silly now. If you could do it all again you would have just taken his helmet off the first night you met him and you would have married him right then and there. You would have left Naboo that night.
And you would never keep any of it from him. You would tell him how important he is and how loved he is, you wouldn’t make him wait. 
Even now you can’t help it though, censoring yourself out of fear. Do you tell him about how nauseous you get every morning? About the way Lysa stares at your belly when she does your makeup? 
No. 
It wouldn’t do either of you any good, not when he’s in this situation. 
You take hold of the edges of the bag once more, gentler this time. 
“I’ll close my eyes.” You lift the fabric completely off of him, setting it in your lap as you simultaneously shut your eyes. You keep one hand on his face, using your thumb to find the corner of his mouth as your other hand fumbles to open a ration bar. You feel him part his lips as you feed him. He’s barely chewing, eating quickly and swallowing most of it whole. “Have they fed you at all?” You whisper as he finishes the first bar in a matter of seconds, his teeth lightly scraping against your fingers before you withdraw them, tearing open another bar.
“No.” His voice is still soft as you go to feed him once more, opening each package until he’s eaten them all. 
“Are you still hungry? I could see if Lysa has more.” 
“I’m okay.” You let your head fall forward, resting your forehead on his. 
“What else can I do for you?” 
“Nothing. Being here is enough.” 
If you had felt helpless before it was nothing compared to this. This is more than helplessness, it’s despair. 
“I’m sorry.” You pull yourself further into his lap, wrapping your arms around him in the process. 
“Hey… none of this is your fault.” It certainly feels like it is. Why does he keep comforting you when he’s the one shivering and alone down here? 
“Please, there has to be something I can do to help you.” 
“There is one thing.” You almost open your eyes, you're so relieved, you just want to ease his pain. 
“Anything. I’ll do anything.” 
“I need you to promise me you won’t look.”
“Won’t look?” Your eyes are already closed, you couldn’t look any less if you tried. 
“When they do it. I don’t want you to see it- it won’t be pretty.”
When they separate his head from his body. 
“I won’t.” You can’t deny him this, you’ll give him anything he wants. “Do you know how much I love you?” You whisper before leaning forward another inch to kiss him. 
The question is genuine. It terrifies you to your core to think that he may not know just how much you love him. 
“Of course sarad.” He murmurs against your lips until you let your head rest on his shoulder, fighting back tears. 
What do you say now?
What do you say to a man condemned to death? 
“I love you.” You mumble into the thin fabric of his tunic. 
“I love you too.” After a moment more with him you hear metal jingling as Lysa locks Elaine's cell once more. You quickly pull back from him, pulling the bag back over his head, once you know he can’t see you anymore the tears flow freely. Lysa steps into the cell and you remove your robe, wrapping it around him, immediately he begins to protest. 
“Mesh’la, you can’t leave this here.” His voice is strained and it makes you sick to think he started crying once he was out of sight as well. 
“Please, y-you’re gonna freeze.”
“They’ll know you were here, sarad’ika.” 
“Din…” You’re practically babbling as Lysa removes your robe from his shoulders, an apologetic look on her face as she grabs your arm. 
“Ma’am, I’m sorry, but we need to go.” Tears sting your eyes as Lysa urges you to hurry but you don’t want to leave him, you want to stay, no matter the consequence. You pull away from her, wrapping your arms around his torso. 
“You need to go.” His voice is urgent through the fabric as you cling to him tighter. 
Would it be easier to just stay? Get caught and join him at the executioners? You’re genuinely considering it when you feel your stomach churn once more and you’re reminded of the exact reason why you can’t stay. Before you lose your nerve and shatter completely you lift the bag, just enough to give you an eyeful of his split lip and bruised jaw as you gently lean in and kiss him one more time. 
Doing everything in your power to remember exactly what it feels like.
The curve of his lips and the shape of his chin, the overgrown stubble brushing against your skin as you press your face harder against his, desperation taking over as you taste salt on his lips. You hold him as long as you can, until you hear Lysa urging you to make haste once more. 
“I love you.” You press your forehead to his through the fabric, feeling the familiar shape of his face against yours. 
“I’ll always be yours.” 
That was the last thing he was able to say before you let Lysa drag you out of the dungeons. 
It’s like everythings suddenly back to the beginning. 
You wake up alone, you go to bed alone, and you wander the castle alone.
There is no plotting or scheming to free Din. 
Even if you were a trained killer or bounty hunter, it would be more than difficult to get him out of the dungeon and on a ship off Naboo. It would be even harder to do so when you’re one of the most recognizable people on the planet. 
He is buried deep beneath the ground and there is nothing you can do about it. 
After all, you're just a doll. 
You don’t know when it happened but all your clothes are blue again. Every dress Lysa fetches from the closet is a different shade of blue and all your nightgowns are the color of the sky. A personal brand put on you by Kodo. It’s clearly more than just a preference now, it’s a reminder to you and everyone else that you’re his. 
And time blends. 
You know a date was set right around the time you visited him. One week until Kodo’s coronation and two until the execution. His first public event after being crowned king will be a death sentence, how fitting. 
So you wake. 
And you sleep. 
And you walk. 
Kodo never replaces Din and you haven’t seen Leo since that night, so you’re completely alone. It’s like he’s rubbing in the fact that you’re powerless. There’s no need for you to have a guard, you can’t leave. If you tried you’d be escorted back in an instant. 
You tried to convince Lysa to let you see him again last night. 
“Please, just a few minutes-“
“I’m sorry ma’am, it’s just not possible. The only reason I was able to get you down there the first time was because the guard that usually lets me in was working nights, he won’t be working nights again until next month.”
Din won’t live to see next month. 
“Is he eating?”
“He won’t let me-“
“You need to insist. Tell him I insist, and tell him you’ll close your eyes.” 
She pins back a bit of your hair, leaving half up and half down. You both bask in the silence for a moment.
“I’ll make sure he eats.”
“Thank you.”
That had been the last conversation you had with Lysa. 
She doesn’t come to dress you in the morning. You think nothing of it and dress yourself in the gown she’d laid out last night. It’s a bit difficult, putting your coronation gown on on your own but eventually you manage, when you’re fully dressed in the obscenely decadent blue fabric you begin to worry. 
You have no reason to assume that everything is fine. It would actually make sense for this to be a worst case scenario situation, everything else in your life is right now. 
You’re about to leave in search of her but you decide against it. Sitting at the vanity and doing your makeup as quickly as possible, the last thing you need to do right now is give Kodo a reason to be upset with you, you have to be presentable. You smear the shimmering blue eyeshadow across your lids before rushing out of your room. 
The halls are full. Servants move quickly from room to room, cleaning every inch as you carefully push through the crowds, making a beeline towards the dining room. 
Kodo is seething when you push open the large doors. 
He stands at the end of the table, shoving an armored guard as the veins in his neck jut out in his rage. 
“Where could she have possibly gone? She’s blind. You’re telling me some blind bitch outsmarted my entire guard?” 
Your heart flutters at the thought.
They escaped.
Your hope is shattered the moment Kodo begins speaking again.
“At least we still have the Mandalorian… I want security tripled, guards stationed outside his cell at all times.” He continues grumbling for a moment until he realizes you’re there. “Happy coronation day dear wife! I’m afraid we’ve had a rough morning here, somehow in the night the Togruta girl escaped, do not fret, we’ll find her.” 
God's you hope not.
Even if things are worse than ever regarding Din there is one flicker of light in that darkness. Lysa got Elaine out. Knowing that almost puts you at ease.
“Happy coronation day.” You actually manage a smile when you look at your husband, it’s weak but it’s genuine. You want to be mad that they didn’t help Din escape but you just can’t be. You know they most likely tried but if the roles had been reversed and you could only get one of them out you wouldn’t hesitate. 
So there is no animosity. Just a flicker of happiness for them.
They got out.
You were under the impression that a coronation was a happy event. Yet when you step out onto the castle steps it seems to be quite the opposite. 
They look miserable. 
All of their faces are sullen and dejected. How shocking, no one is excited about Kodo being crowned king. He didn’t have any of the outside of the castle decorated or made presentable in any way. No one reacts when Kodo reads from an ancient looking book until a crown is placed on his head. 
A moment afterwards you’re instructed to kneel and a tiara is placed onto your head. 
The audience is silent and you feel shame when you stare out at them.
Even if you don’t have very much power you still feel as if you’ve failed them. The feeling follows you when you’re directed to the dining hall with Kodo.
“I have a couple gifts for you, wife.” His twisted smile makes your stomach turn as you enter the dining hall, now decorated with blue and gray banners.  
“A gift? You shouldn’t have, my king, I- I didn’t get you anything.” You feign remorse as you take a sip of the wine in front of you on instinct before spitting it back up into the cup. 
“That’s more than okay, you’re my gift, sweet wife, all mine.” The thought of such a thing makes you sick, you smile despite yourself. 
“That’s very kind.” You’ll only ever be Din’s. No amount of blue fabric and faux smiles can change that. He snaps his fingers and a large box is brought to you by a servant, they set it directly in front of you on the table. You look at Kodo who nods, sitting back in his chair as you stand, the box is wrapped in checkered blue paper, a large bow adorning the top. Your hands tremble a bit as you take hold of the edges of the ribbon, tugging on them until the bow slips free, much to your surprise the entire box falls open, the sides collapsing giving you an immediate view of the contents. 
The silver, shimmering contents. 
Din’s helmet. 
Polished like new, it sits before you, and the room suddenly empties. It’s as if you are completely alone, despite all the eyes that are most definitely pinned on you right now. Your hands continue to shake as your fingers wrap around the beskar steel, like you would when you held Din’s face, lifting it to glare into the visor. 
Empty. 
You can’t help but stare at your own emptiness reflected back at you. 
You want to hold it close, press it to your forehead but you’re snapped back to reality by the grating sound of Kodo’s voice breaking you from your focus on the helm between your hands. 
“That’s only one of your presents, open the next one.” He hisses gleefully. 
You set the helmet down, realizing there was another, much smaller box underneath it. Silently you scoop it up and cradle it in your hands. It’s a larger than a ring box, it just barely fits in your palm as you ever so gently open it, swinging the top open as if it were a tiny treasure chest.              
Huh.
It takes a moment.
You aren’t exactly sure what it is you’re looking at at first but when it registers your entire body tenses up, your grip tightening on the gift box. 
Bloody and pink, a tongue. 
Of course you know better than to assume Kodo would give you any old tongue. This is a special someone’s tongue. 
No, no, no, no, no. 
You had loved his tongue before anything else.
He can’t do this, he cannot do this to you.
You had fallen for his sharp wit first, it was what drew you into him. His sweet words had won you back, his declaration of devotion.
Now you hold all of that in the palm of your hand. 
“What do we say?” His nasally voice breaks through your mental anguish. 
No.
“Come on, where are your manners?”
Please. 
“Thank you.” Your whisper is nearly silent as you struggle to keep down the scream bubbling in your throat.
“What was that?” 
You clear your throat. 
“Thank you.” 
He makes you take it with you. You don’t bother telling him you won’t be attending the coronation ball in a few minutes, it’s not like you’ll be missed. 
In one arm you’re cradling his helmet, in the other the little blue box. 
You set each one down carefully onto the bed, even if it’s a bit demented these are the only parts of him you have left. You stare at the little box. 
You have never been hateful. 
Kodo made you into this. You are full of hate, for most things at this point. You hate your husband, you hate your room, and most of all you hate the little blue box on the bed. 
And the music starts. 
It must be deafening in the hall for you to hear it from your room but it’s there, loud and demanding of your attention. 
You’re moving before you even have a chance to think about it, in a few quick strides you’re standing beside the vanity, your hands gripping the top of the mirror as you pull it down in one swift motion, the contents spill everywhere and the glass shatters in an instant, shards splattering the floor but you take no time to process it. 
You move on to the next thing.
You yank each drawer from the dresser, throwing them to the floor, clothes strewn about until it’s light enough for you to push the entire dresser over. In your frenzy you go about the room toppling every stupid fucking table over. So many fucking end tables in  one room, and you throw everyone to the floor, trinkets and vases clattering to the ground as you destroy the room. You get a rush of adrenaline as you lift one of your nightstands and throw it against the wall leaving a small dent but more importantly the force of it makes anything hanging on the wall tumble to the floor, glass frames shatter. 
Your chest heaves as you stare at the carnage.  
And it isn’t enough.
Your face is wet with tears and your hands with blood from cuts you didn’t feel upon your skin as you tear open the closet door, the pile of blankets mock you from the floor, you grab them, your vision now blurry with tears as you pull them out of the closet, throwing them onto your bedroom floor. When you return to the closet you’re in a frenzy, you tear at the fabric before you, yanking each and every dress off their hangers, ripping what you can.
There is nothing else for you to do, so you destroy everything you can get your hands on until the only thing left untouched is your bed, left in pristine condition as you let out a small sob. 
Maybe you are a hateful person now. 
You feel as though you have every right to be at this point. 
You step over the shard of glass, giving your bloody hands a glance before wiping them on your gown.
Happy coronation day. 
You sit on the bed, your trembling fingers wrap around the helmet, now that you’re alone you waste no time to hold it against you face, until your body just gives up, too tired to stay awake anymore.
A guard wakes you in the morning, knocking on your door, when you answer it they tell you Kodo requires your presence in his chambers.
You dress in a blue gown that you don’t look too closely at. Stopping at the fresher on the way, rinsing the dried gore from your palms, wincing as you clean your wounds. None of which seem too deep. 
You want to cut Kodo’s tongue out, to make him feel it. But you know that sort of thing would be an impossible task. So you daydream about it as you walk. You’re more than displeased when you open the door and are greeted by Leodall. You hadn’t seen him since that night and from the looks of it he wasn’t expecting you. He swallows loudly when you step inside Kodo’s room.
Normally you’d be curious, you’d probably take a look around but your eyes refuse to focus on anything but Leo as you scowl at him. 
“Why’d you do it?” You don’t hesitate to ask, you have no idea how quickly Kodo will be joining you. 
He simply stares at you, shame apparent on his face.
“You owe me an explanation at the very least.” You cross your arms in front of your chest as he clears his throat. 
“I thought he’d reward me.”
You laugh. A harsh dry sound 
“What could he have possibly given you that you couldn’t have just asked me for?” Your gaze never softens and you’re practically seeing red as you stare at him.
“I thought he’d give me a lordship.” 
You can’t help it as another crisp and pained laugh slips past your lips. 
“You thought Kodo would raise your status? I thought you were supposed to be smart.” Is he an idiot? “He doesn’t see servants as people, if you wanted such a thing you could have asked me, maybe I could have done something.” 
A glimmer of something similar to hope flashes through his eyes. 
“Would you- would you consider doing so now?”
“You cannot be serious-” Your expression goes from fury to disbelief as you stand. 
“It seemed worth asking.” He puts his hands up defensively as you storm up to him, poking a finger into his face. 
“You slimy little weasel, it should be you on the chopping block, not him. If it were up to me I’d have them put your head on a spike.” The words pour out of you like venom. 
“I would be nicer to me if I were you.” He sneers and your incredulity only grows. You can’t help it, you scoff in his face. 
“I would rather die.” A part of you really means it. 
“You might if you aren’t careful, I saved your life by letting Elaine and your Mandalorian take the fall, I could have told the king that you were a willing participant. I saw the two of you together, I read your little rules. He never forced himself on you. I wonder what Kodo might think about that.” You aren’t a fighter, you’ve never so much as thrown a punch in your life but you grab him by the collar of his shirt and slam him into the wall, the back of his head hits the stone and you don’t feel an ounce of remorse as you do so. 
“Do it.” You tilt your head to the side, almost as if you’re taunting him. “Tell him.” Any of the confidence he briefly had is gone in an instant. “The moment you do I’ll tell him that you’re covering your tracks, and that you made a pass at me. I wonder how Kodo would reward you for trying to touch what’s his?” Leo’s head turns as you both hear Kodo’s piercing voice in the hall. You release your grip on his shirt, brushing off your gown as you turn towards the door. Kodo and three others make their way into the room as Leo coughs behind you. 
“Dear wife, I have another gift for you.” He takes a step to the side, gesturing at a line of three people you don’t give so much as a glance. He doesn’t even seem to notice the obvious tension in the room. “A new staff!”
“I don’t need a new staff, I’m fine on my own.” You abandon the pleasantries. You’re in such a state of upset right now, what's the point? 
“You’re the queen now, staff is required. These three will replace the ones you've lost in a week, until then Leodall will be training them intensively to tend to your every need. Two guards will also be assigned to you but I promise they will be much less loathsome than your Mandalorian.”
All five of them will be trained to keep an eye on you. To report back to Kodo, after everything with Din you should have known he’d keep you on a shorter leash. 
You barely look at them. 
You hate them. 
You shouldn’t, they’ve done nothing wrong, but you hate them. 
You give each one a quick up and down, naming them in your mind. 
A BD-3000 droid commands the most authority just based on how she stands so you mentally note her as Elaine's replacement. You’ll call her new Elaine. 
New Lysa is a pasty young blonde woman with rosy cheeks. You truly wonder how well informed she has been on your circumstance. She’s smiling from ear to ear and seemingly couldn’t be happier to be here. 
And new Leo is somehow even more nervous looking than actual Leo, practically shaking like a leaf at the sight of you. The bags under his eyes are worse than your own. A lanky thing with messy brown hair. 
There’s no reason for you to fight this, Kodo always gets his way so why bother. So you nod. You don’t pretend to be grateful this time, instead you shove your way past all of them, content to return to your room and never leave. 
The morning of the execution comes before you’re ready for it. 
Of course you didn’t sleep last night, how could you?
You dress yourself, apparently your new staff isn’t starting until tomorrow, not that you mind another day to yourself. You manage to find something that isn’t blue, a gray dress trimmed with gold, the closest thing you’ll find to funeral attire. No one else will dress with any respect for him but they can’t stop you. Your vanity is destroyed so you don’t bother with your hair or your makeup, you simply don’t care enough. 
For the most part you feel nothing when you open the door, only emptiness until you look down. 
Someone left you a small vase of flowers. 
You pick them up, taking a closer look but your heart skips a beat when you do so.
Daisies. 
After a few short breaths you throw the vase into the wall across from your door, tiny shards of porcelain fly everywhere as two servants at the end of the hall give you a look of horror. Your shoes crunch over the remains of it as you make your way down the hall and to the entryway of the castle. 
Kodo insists that the two of you get to see him first. 
You’re sweating wildly out on the steps as you wait.
Long before you’re ready for it they bring him out. 
A shivering skeleton of a man with a linen bag over his head, immediately bile rises in your throat. Kodo is grinning ear to ear when his legs are kicked out from under him and he’s forced to kneel.
Kodo himself reaches forward and tears the bag off, too excited for any decorum or finesse. 
You gasp as you stare down at the broken man before you.
In all honesty he isn’t at all what you envisioned. 
His eyes verge on being hazel; they're such a light brown. You’d always pictured them to be nearly black. It doesn’t matter what color they are though, when you see the tears forming in his lash line you flinch, clutching the ring on your necklace to silently let him know silently just how much he means to you. 
He’s a mess. 
You don’t like looking at what those weeks in the dungeons did to him and the last thing you need to do right now is empty your stomach on the palace steps. 
He’s too thin. Far, far, too thin, it’s like his entire being has shrunk down. He’s hollow.
Your breath hitches when Kodo grabs a fistful of his dark hair, forcing him to turn and stare at the crowd. They must have cut it while he was down there it’s a mess, jagged edges and shorter than you’re used to. 
“This man has committed an act of treason against the crown.” His voice is loud and booming as the city goes quiet. “For such a crime he shall face the proper punishment.” He yanks him downawards, you watch in horror as Din’s head hits the stone, an incoherent mess of sounds pour from his bloody mouth and you have to look away. 
He didn’t want you to look.
You remind yourself to try and calm your breathing. You can hear the scuffle as they drag him to the guillotine, placing his neck into the wooden divot, your heart threatening to beat out of your chest as you turn to look. His eyes are everywhere but on you as he looks at the people around him, desperately pleading for his life. Not a single person so much as glances at him, afterall, it’s just nonsense, no one can understand him without a tongue. 
You can’t stand it, you almost cover your ears but you manage to resist as Kodo puts an arm around your waist, pulling you close to him. 
“You’re welcome, sweet wife.” He whispers, his breath hot and wet against your ear. 
Fuck it. 
You don’t suppress the shudder in your spine as you shoot him a look of disgust. In a matter of moments everything you care about will be gone, why pretend any longer.
A bellowing chime plays from a nearby clock tower and you know it’s time, you straighten up as you stare at the guillotine in abject horror. 
This is it. 
Your chest rises and falls in sharp short bursts as everyone prepares themselves, a hush forming among the crowd on the street. 
And it begins, a chain reaction that you cannot stop now that the executioner has his ax raised above his head.
You had expected more. More time.
A part of you thought that time would slow, that you’d have a chance to stop it. 
But no. 
There is no epic fairy tale moment where the sun glimmers off of the blade and the executioner raises his ax, giving you this perfect moment to run to him, to shield him from the inevitable, to beg them to take you with him. 
That moment never comes. 
You barely have enough time to close your eyes like you promised him. In one unbroken motion the rope is cut, the blade falls and boom. 
Just like that, he’s gone. 
When you hear the metal slicing through the air you squeeze your eyes shut, hearing only the wet crunch as it cuts through flesh and bone. A soft, squishy thud when his head hits the stone. 
In fashion with your decision to no longer hide your disgust from Kodo you vomit. Bending down you puke onto the stones, spraying your own, and Kodo’s feet. The triumphant smile on his face vanishes as he realizes what’s happened. You wipe your mouth on the back of your hand, refusing to look at Din’s limp body as you give Kodo one last look of detestation before turning around and running back into the castle, not caring what anyone thinks anymore.
The moment you’re inside the reality of it all settles in as you feel tears falling wildly as you run up the steps to your room.
You have been good, and kind, and in return the maker rewarded you by killing the love of your life. 
So when you stand in the center of your demolished room you do the only thing your body can do at this point. 
You scream. 
From deep within your stomach, you scream, loud and raw. 
If anything was left unbroken in your room you’d be throwing it at the wall. But there’s nothing so you scream. 
You shriek.
You howl. 
And you wail.
You scream until there is no more noise. Your voice, like the rest of you, gives up. 
You aren’t sure how late it is when you finally stop. You’re tired and it’s dark outside and your throat is raw. 
And you lay on the floor. Because the bed is too big, and too cold, and the closet is so empty. So the only place left to sleep is there. You lay on the floor with no more tears to cry and no more sounds to scream as you stare at your bed, only from this angle can you see a rectangular shape under your bed frame. 
You wipe your nose with a stray piece of fabric before slowly crawling over to it, you sit on the floor and when you retrieve the item a brand new lump forms in your throat as you stare down at the box Din had bought all those days ago at the market. 
Your failsafe. 
With quivering hands you open it, staring into the small space containing a mess of items but what catches your eye is a piece of folded paper with your name on it. You take it between your fingers, opening it, careful to not let your tears fall onto it. 
Sarad’ika,
If you’re reading this then I’m afraid things aren’t going all that well for me. There are plenty of possible reasons as to why I’m no longer with you, but what’s important is that I plan on doing everything in my power to get back to you. There is only one thing in the galaxy that could keep me from your side, and if that is my fate then this box will ensure you’re taken care of. 
The most important thing is for you to get off this planet. I have included a few possible plans for you, do what you have to to survive. Elaine will help you escape. 
You can seek out Greef Karga on Nevarro. Tell him Din Djarin sent you, tell him what’s happened and he will see to it that you are cared for. Explain our circumstances and I am certain he will provide you with safe lodging. 
Tatooine is also an option. You’ll find a Mandalorian there by the name of Boba Fett, he will not turn you away. You will be protected there, if you need to relocate for some reason after that he will help you locate the Mandalorian convert. Show the Mandalorians your ring and you will be cared for the rest of your life, the convert will protect you. 
As an absolute last resort there is a planet located in the Outer Ring called Ossus. There is a school there, taught by a man named Luke Skywalker. I doubt he would be eager to take you in but you must insist. Bring the chainmail, they’ll know who sent you. Take care of each other. 
In this box you will find enough credits to get you off planet and take care of you for several months, a year if you’re frugal, I suggest you take a few jewelry pieces to pawn off for extra credits as well. You will find a small chainmail shirt, and a necklace of mine. 
And lastly you will find your vibroblade. 
Protect yourself. You’re strong, and more than capable of doing so.
I have one request for you, please, I will only ask this one thing of you. 
Be smart. 
You are the smartest and kindest person I have ever had the honor of knowing. Be smart, take care of yourself. If the roles were reversed I know that I would go to extremes to either get you back, or find justice for you. And all I can do is ask that you do not attempt any such thing, the only thing I would ever want for you is safety and happiness. 
So seek those things out. 
Be safe. Be happy.   
I was lucky to know you, and even luckier to be yours. 
an ner kar'taylir darasuum, 
Din
All my love. 
You flip the paper over, desperate for more, more Din, but all you find is scrawled coordinates to each location. Your fingers sift through the items, everything he promised is found inside but you latch onto the blade. Laying back down on the floor you clutch it between your fingers as you think of Din.
Din, who was yours.
Din, who they took from you.
Who Kodo, took from you. 
And your grip on the knife tightens. 
Two guards stand outside your door round the clock now. 
They never follow you or come into your room but they’re there, silently watching as you direct all your anger at your new staff. As promised Leo trained them to be as persistent and infuriating as he was. 
When the two new girls come to fetch you in the morning you can’t help it when you scream at them to leave you alone and to stop trying to clean the ever growing mess of things. 
It doesn’t matter that it isn’t their fault, you can’t stand the sight of anyone. 
All three of them try. New Elaine and Lysa show up three times a day, trying to dress you and squeeze their way past you into the room but after enough shrieking they always leave you be. 
New Leo usually tries once or twice a day, you don’t even look at him. You always stare at the floor, when he tries to speak you give him the same treatment as the girls, screaming at him and slamming the door. 
Why should you let them in? You know what they are. They’re here to spy on you, to be Kodo’s eyes while he’s busy being king. They’re easy to evade. When you leave to fetch yourself food or a book from the library you easily outrun them. The two girls are worse at navigating the castle than you were when you first arrived and new Leo has a bad leg, sometimes he’ll make attempts to limp after you but they’re always unsuccessful. 
You think of nothing, day after day because there is nothing to think about. 
Except for the fact that Kodo took your future away from you. He took everything from you. 
If you thought time was blending before Din’s death nothing could have prepared you for now. You don’t track the days as well, you keep your curtains drawn and only leave when you get hungry or start to think of Din. The last thing you need to do is have another screaming fit so you keep him locked away in your heart, an ache that’s always there that you don’t address. 
One day, in a fit of tears you took your knife and decided on a whim to kill Kodo. You didn’t care about the repercussions at that point you just wanted him to suffer but the moment you opened the door you nearly tripped, stumbling backwards the guards didn’t so much as glance at you. 
Another vase of flowers.
You’re tempted to just kick them down the hall but you can’t help yourself when you lean down to pick them up. 
A bouquet of blue lilies. Your nose twitches at the sight of them, out of the corner of your eye you see new Lysa and new Elaine approaching so you take the opportunity to slam the little glass vase into the stone floor. Glaring at them when you do before returning to your room. 
Maybe it’s been three days since Din died. 
Maybe it’s been three months. 
You aren’t sure.
You aren’t sure when you made plans to kill Kodo either but suddenly you have them. A fool proof way to get him alone. 
And suddenly you’re dressed for the first time in, well, however long it’s been. In a baby blue nightie with a robe you march out into the hall. The guards watch in silence as you walk away, your bare feet scampering down the stairs until you find yourself watching the main entrance. Waiting for your loving husband to make his nightly trip to a pleasure house, a trip that is typically accompanied by guards. 
You grip the handle of the knife in your pocket as you wait until you finally hear footsteps approaching. 
“Kodo, honey?” You step out from behind the stone column, holding your robe closed as you bat your eyelashes at him. He stumbles around drunkenly until his eyes focus on you. 
You’ve only used your voice for screaming for so long you sound meek, exactly as you want to right now. 
“Wife?”
“I thought maybe you’d like to join me tonight…” You hold a hand out towards him, putting on a sickly sweet tone of innocence. His mouth twists into a grin. 
“I knew you’d come around eventually.”
He doesn’t question where you’re taking him, he simply follows.
What a joke. 
You pull him up the stairs, you know from hide and seek where to find an empty room so you guide him there in calculated silence until he trips a bit, laughing to himself as he stutters.
“I knew if I got rid of the Mandalorian you’d realize how much better I am than him.” The statement doesn’t sit right with you and he can see it on your face, even in his drunken state he can sense your confusion. 
You both stop, you’re above him on the stairs as you turn and stare into his eyes.
“You- you knew?”
He simply nods, that sickening smile of his is plastered on his face. His icy blue eyes shimmer with delight. 
“How long?”
“When Leo told me I remembered everything. That little altercation in the hall when your boy knocked me out came right back to me, from there it wasn’t hard to figure out.” Your eye twitches as he speaks.
He knew you loved him and he took him from you anyway.
Any hesitations you had are gone as you nod, pulling him onward until you reach the large vacant tower room. He’s so drunk you decide to just drop the voice, pointing at a spot on the floor. 
“Lay down.” You mumble, reaching into your pocket once more.
He eagerly does as he’s told, laying down on the cold stone, you take a deep breath, in one swift motion you grab your knife, holding it behind your back as you toss your robe aside. He gives you a toothy grin as you ever so slowly walk to him, standing above him before sitting, straddling his waist. 
You look him up and down, one last time. 
Your loving husband. 
One of his hands plays with the blue lace of your nightie as you collect yourself. You look up at the ceiling briefly. 
I’m sorry. 
Not for Kodo, but for Din. This is exactly what he didn’t want you to do. 
You aren’t a killer. And you aren’t hateful, but a person can only be pushed so far before something breaks. 
Be smart. 
You think of Din’s note one last time before you bring the blade out in front of you and slam the blade into Kodo’s chest. 
He makes a sickly wet sound, coughing as he stares at you in shock.
You remove the knife, the hot steel cauterizes his wounds, there isn’t so much as a drop of blood as your face twists with fury and you bring it down again into his stomach now. 
How dare he look surprised by any of this. 
After what he took from you? He deserves galaxies worse. 
So you remove the knife. 
And you stab him again.
And again,
and again,
and again,
and again,
and again.
Until there is no more shocked look on his face. You don’t have a snarky remark or a statement to commemorate your revenge, you’re all used up at this point, all you have is this, this stabbing motion. 
He didn’t even have a chance to fight back.
You crawl off of his body, sitting on the stones as you toss the knife to the side, waiting for a rush of euphoria. 
But it never comes. 
It doesn’t feel as good as you thought it would. 
Staring down at Kodo’s lifeless body. You let yourself crumble. Collapsing down onto the floor, gasping for air as you sob. 
This was never going to bring him back. 
You lay there on your hands and knees for quite some time, just wailing, because what else are you supposed to do right now? You realize far too late that this was never an act of malice, some demented and shattered part of you thought that this would somehow bring him back, that it would give you peace. 
They won’t execute you. 
You planned this exactly so they wouldn’t.
Kodo didn’t tell anyone about your relationship with Din in much detail, not enough for them to assume that you could be with child. Everyone will assume that it’s Kodo’s. They won’t kill you, they can’t. 
Not if they think you’re carrying Kodo’s child. Now that Kodo’s dead, there’s no one to tell the royal family that you never consummated your marriage, your child is the most well protected person on the planet. The future monarch. It’s almost funny, you haven’t permitted yourself to think about the stirring within you as a child until just now, in this moment of weakness. A child, your child. 
Who will most likely grow up without a mother because of the decisions you've made today.
You bite your fist, swallowing a scream as you sit back on your heels. 
Your child will never know how loved they were. Your little one will never get to sit beside their mother while their father teaches them to sew. You put your head in your hands as you wail, no longer caring who hears. Your fate is sealed, what does it matter? 
You don’t turn when you hear someone coming up the stairs. When they pull you into their arms you try uselessly to shove them away. Your vision is blurry and filled with tears as you stare up at the unfamiliar figure now holding you. They rub your back, drawing swirls and stars against your spine as they pull you closer. 
“It’s okay, I’ve got you.” They mumble into your hair. You dry your eyes hastily on your sleeve, confused by the voice you’re hearing, it’s painfully familiar, on instinct you wrap your arms around their torso, pulling yourself into their lap as you both sit on the floor beside Kodo’s body. “You’re okay, I’m here.”
“I’m- I’m sorry.” You whisper against the stranger's shirt. You knew you weren’t hateful. You’re certain of it now because even though he took quite literally everything from you, you still feel bad when you look at Kodo. 
A large hand cups your face, pulling you back to their chest so you can’t see the corpse anymore. 
“I didn’t mean it- I- I didn’t mean to kill him. Well I did but I just-” You begin to ramble as a fresh flood of tears begin sliding down your cheeks. 
“Hey- hey it’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it. We gotta get you cleaned up, okay? I’ll take care of this, I’ll fix it.” Their arms tighten around you, giving you a reassuring squeeze. You finally find the courage to look at your companion and it takes a moment for you to even realize who you’re looking at. 
New Leo. 
Why would he help you? You treat him like shit. When you look at him he looks like he’s about to cry and for the first time since Din was taken from you drop the walls you’ve put up and you let yourself feel bad for him. You show an ounce of kindness to him because in all honesty he’s the first person to make you feel safe since the night Din was taken from you. 
A lighthouse while you sail through a storm.
So you hug him. 
You pull yourself closer to him and you offer him a comfort you haven’t known for days.
“I’m sorry… for all of it, but especially the flowers, I should have told you, I just- you wouldn’t let me and the guards wouldn’t let me in without your permission and you just wouldn’t look at me.” He begins to mumble his own apologies, sending a surge of confusion through you. 
You furrow your brows, pulling back once more giving him a perplexed look as you search his nearly black eyes for some kind of answer. 
And it clicks. 
All at once it snaps into place and you want to say his name, so desperately, but you’re terribly afraid of being wrong. 
And then he smiles. A soft smile that makes you feel okay and you don’t even care if you’re wrong and you don’t care if it doesn’t make sense you just have to ask.
“Din?”
a/n : yeah so uhhhhh yeah uhhhh this is the first chapter i've ever written where im actually very fond of the writing and nervous about the plot stuff so im gonna go hide?? and just vanish for a while lol
//
I don't have a tag list anymore !! follow @lincolndjarinnotifs for updates!!
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little-annie · 1 year
Text
They have to tell them. They have to tell Dustin. They have to tell Robin. They have to tell the kids.
Over the last week, while lying in bed curled into each other, while eating breakfast pressed as close as they could manage, while snuggled up for yet another movie night, they talked about it, discussed how they'd break the news to everyone.
They knew Robin would be easy, accepting, because, well, the whole lesbian platonic soul mate of it all.
They had a hunch Will would feel some sense of relief, belonging, acceptance in himself and they hoped the young Wheeler would experience the same.
They knew it'd be okay, but there was always that itching nerve of anxiety saying, 'What if?' 'What if it's not okay.' 'What if it's really not okay and they'll never see any of their little nuggets again because they're too disgusted to even look them in the eye?'
But they had to tell them. No two ways about it. They had to tell them or someone was going to find out on their own and shit would hit the fan.
But firstly, they have to tell Dustin.
So here they sit in the Harrington house, Steve and Eddie side by side on the couch mere inches apart as Dustin sits on the coffee table in front of them, waiting and impatient.
"So? What was it you two were wanting to tell me?"
The two eldest boys turn to look at each other.
Steve, nerves evident on his face, brow furrowed, cheeks tinting red, bottom lip worried between his teeth, he sighs, shakey, scared and too fucking nervous.
And without even thinking, without even caring that Dustin's literally a foot in front of them, Eddie reaches out. Because he has to, because his boy is scared and it's crushing him to not be holding him right now. His ringed hand moves to Steve's thigh, giving a gentle squeeze before shifting his grip to take Steve's hand in his own, lacing their fingers together.
Steve tenses for a moment, eyes flashing to Dustin before he looks to Eddie and visibly relaxes, shifting closer, thigh now pressed to Eddie's, slouching with relief.
Dustin's eyes are wide, darting between the two men and their clasped hands. They can see the nerves creeping into his expression and suddenly this feels so much harder but before they can manage words, Dustin speaks, "Oh my god, is someone dying? Are one of you dying? Steve, do you have butt cancer? Oh my god. Oh my god, you're dying."
The kid shakes his head, hand moving to remove his hat and tug at his curls, " We can't do this shit without you. We'd be a wreck. You're like the best thing that's happened to us. You're like the Party's weird mom. You're getting treatment right? Is it going okay? Is Eddie driving you? Eddie, are you driving him? Are you taking care of him? Please say you're taking care of him."
The two men look between each, their clasped hands, Dustin and his expression that's nearing tears. They're speechless. They try to speak only to be interrupted. "I'm moving in, I'll help, I'll cook, I'll clean. Well, Eddie can cook and clean and I'll keep you company. Be the comedic relief. We can plan your funeral together. Do you want to be cremated? Or a rotting corpse in the ground for all the rodents to eat? Do you-"
"Dustin," Eddie carefully speaks
"Do you want me to-"
"Dustin," Steve repeats his boyfriend's words
"Shut up I'm talki-"
"We're dating!" Steve and Eddie both say with a shout, lifting their joined hands shaking them in Dustin's face
The kid cocks his head to the side, brow raised in question, "So Steve's not dying?"
"No"
"And you're together?"
"Yes?" Steve says like he's not entirely sure. Which is dumb. Because he is. But he's still nervous of how Dustin is going to handle this type of news. It's not 'Butt Cancer' (Jesus Christ this kid,) nothing even close, but it's still news. Unexpected and scary to reveal.
"Are you asking me?"
"Would it be okay if we were?" Eddie, somehow the calm voice of reason in this situation
Dustin almost seems offended at the moment, a weird look of shock appearing on his face only just now, "Why wouldn't it be?"
"Um, because that's gay?" Steve says, watching Dustin grimace at the remark
"And?"
"You're fine with that?"
"Well, Steve, does Eddie treat you well?"
Steve nods, kinda baffled by the whiplash of this whole conversation
"And Eddie, does Steve treat you well?"
"Yeah,"
"Well then, it's fine." Dustin slaps his hands to his thighs standing up from his position on the coffee table, a teasing smirk on his face, "Congratulations I guess. Just don't get Steve pregnant."
Eddie cackles while Steve sputters "That can't ev-"
Totally ignoring the pair still seated on the couch, Dustin is already making his way to the front door with Steve's keys in hand, "Now, how about the arcade?"
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