#we we're scared about nothing

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Vegetta heard that some members of the server are scared of him and he was like "Why? I'm not even a tryhard, I was the last person to get slime armor" and I'm like... Vegetta people are already scared of you, WHY would you respond to that with "But this isn't even 1% of my true power''

#i talk #qsmp talk #Vegetta be like ''This isn't even my final form'' #Vegetta be like ''well if you're going to be scared of me at least let me give you a good reason for it /pos'' lmao #It's always so baffling to me (as a KarmaIand fan) seeing how Vegetta's depicted in Fool/igetta fanworks #because the way people often depict Foolish as this incredibly powerful demigod (only sometimes incorporating his actual personality / lore #is how people depicted Vegetta (minus the ''we're disregarding his personality'' part that sometimes happens) in Karmaland #Like it's almost a perfect reverse uno in terms of how people depict Vegetta in KarmaIand vs Q.S.M.P #I'm not mad about it or anything I'm just genuinely amused by how people manage to underestimate him and STILL are afraid of him #like oh honey....... whatever Foolish's ties to immortality and godhood are pale in comparison to Vegetta's #(This is nothing against Foolish BTW his lore on the previous server was fun and I'm bitter we never got to see more of it) #(The entire death totem thing was sick and also the concept of totem gods is so interesting) #The way Vegetta is depicted in Karmaland is very strange #he seems like a being (not necessarily a god but definitely something powerful) #who made their world then stepped back so he could be a part of it #So even though he respects the guidance of elders like Merlon #(to some degree) #and talks about the ''gods'' (admins) as higher powers #the world still bows to him #and that includes the QSMP world #realistically we know this is because every single admin adores Vegetta and grew up with him #but we're looking at this through a lore lense #I can get into this more later - I feel like I should elaborate on my thoughts here and add some canon backing to explain myself a bit more #but you get the jist #Me: let's post a silly little thought about the minecraft series I'm watching #Also me: LET ME CITE MY SOURCES - #Listen man you can't unlearn some things #I'm a professional writer it's in my nature

[good-beansdraws]

You must go on.

These are the scripted lines said to the test subjects in the original Milgram experiment, each time they asked to stop administering the shocks. I've been thinking about audience involvement in this project -- as deeply as we care for the characters in immense pain/danger, can we really stop the trials now...?

(Individual frames under the cut)

#milgram #haruka sakurai #i have so many thoughts about this project so have some art about it lol #i kind of pictured jackalope saying the text to es - and in turn es saying it to us #im so intrigued by the haruka dilemma this trial #because who's to blame for their suffering? us? es? them? the writers? everyone? #im just so enthralled by the balance of our interaction and control and having blood on our hands. Even though theres the relief of #'its just characters - no ones getting hurt' we're still engaging in a very emotional way! we still care!! it affects us and our choices!! #AH #rip i made myself sad drawing this ;---; my booooy #i voted muu innocent to try and save him but now theres nothing more we can do and im Scared :( #(also heyyy its my first art gif! bones helped me make it with her art app because mine couldn't lol)

[girlcrushau]

#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/ #but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment #i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating #there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2 #months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it #not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him #in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to. #until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if #he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone #and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think #there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy #your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you) #and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly #so last night #i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text. #i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart #until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent #that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real #did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart #and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about #and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in #which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever #it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in. #just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the #reason that he went away on me. #im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying #not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me #that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest. #and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs #he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am

[maximus-gluteus]

nothing to see here

#ok plz i wanna rant about how the new season of good omens is making me lose faith in humanity #girl tell me how ive trudged through 4 episodes of this season and i still dont know what the damn hell is going onnnnnn #every time i think we're getting somewhere with the 'story' the show slams the brakes to let me know that there're gay people on screen #does the coffee shop chick ever apologize to the record store chick bc i cant staaaand their romance. #like record store lady. girl. this isnt banter shes just straight up dissing your passion and life's work. #im scared to finish the season bc i just KNOW theyre gonna pull the whole 'i made u leave ur toxic partner now date me immediately' trope #ok so story beats aside my other gripe is how contrived the queer representation is in this show #i am a bi woman! my reaction to seeing wlw on screen should be 'yay! im happy theyre together' and not 'ugh this shit again?' #and also with az and crowley! what happened to their chemistry from the first season??? #like on the one hand the whole 'bickering like an old married couple' schtick is lovely. but. theyre just faffing about most of the time! #remember the first season? when these characters had agency? and a semblance of intuition? #i am convinced that the majority of the characters in this season couldnt find their way out of a paper bag #i get theres a whole memory loss plot device thing happening. but it feels like Gabriel's cluelessness is like fucking infectious or smthn #i feel like an idiot for assuming that the characters i knew from the first season will be just as competent in this season. they arent! #i hated the whole 'continued' story in the wwii era. i feel like it was a pathetic ploy at giving mark gatiss more needless screentime #did they think people would find the nazi zombies amusing or something? why are we playing this off as a joke? #just admit you dont know what to do with the story and move onnnnnnnn #im gonna finish the season bc i feel like im owed the scene of david tennant sucking face with michael sheen. #itll be like reparations for having to slough through the rest of this nothing burger of a story jesuuuuuussss #ok rant over #good omens critical

[todayisafridaynight]

i want to share my silly little masato and aoki drawing i made on paper but im terrified of sharing my art to strangers bcz its not that good and im afraid ill get ultimately slandered LMAO

when youre scared of being criticized for a drawing but still want to share it its best to do what i do and throw it on the internet and then dodge the website for the rest of the day :)

#snap chats #over time you just. stop giving a shit and post and proceed LMAO BUT tbf ive been doing this for years so easier said than done #but i mean lifes too short to care about what other people say right #if you really wanna share something just share it #there's a thing in psychology known as the imaginary audience and it's when we're harsher on our image for no real reason #like of course we want to impress our peers and yk. be cool to them #but at the same time and as a result we heavily criticize everything we do if it's not 'perfect' #honestly a phrase that's saved me a lot is 'if theres no problem theres no worry' #like if theres nothing wrong going right now dont act as though youre in the thick of it yk #idk i cant make you post what you want but i guess over the years i get sad seeing people say they wanna share something #but ultimately get scared of doing it even though i know they can make something phenomenal #and yk. i just wanna see that and i wanna see people be enthusiastic about things they love #thats why i do art anyway- its because i get to be enthusiastic and share my passion with people #idk im rambling and this is preachy #tl;dr share it motherfucker 🔫 thats the tone we're all used to from me LMAO

[healingheartdogs]

Old man felt good enough to lead me out of the yard and for a short walk today, which is the most he's moved in the last two weeks

#the evil part about the meds making him this much better and almost back to his old self #is that it's making me doubt our decision to not try chemo because we're afraid we couldnt maintain his QOL #but logically i know this improvement is very temporary and at any point he could start rapidly getting worse again like before #and the level of vet care for that would stress him out so much #there is nothing that scares him more in life than vet visits #poor dude #banana #apbt mix #my dogs

[uncanny-tranny]

This still from the THATS WHAT I WANT music video makes me realize just how happy I am that people like Lil Nas X are around for queer kids to look up to (especially Black queer kids). I know for a fact I would have benefitted from having people like him in my childhood and I'm just not over the fact that it's a reality now???

#gay #lgbt #lgbtq #i'm honestly blown away that we have so many more lgbt and queer stars and creators and artists and all that #when i was a kid it felt like NOBODY was queer. i knew NOTHING about who i am. i saw NOBODY i could look up to #i felt so alone and scared because i didn't know what the hell was 'wrong' with me #i really hope queer kids today don't ever feel the way i did #which is unrealistic for me to say but i hope queer kids know there's a future for them and that people like them EXIST and are happy #and that we're here and alive with them #sorry guys this man realeased the montero album and i haven't recovered. this is what has killed me #idk this song in particular hits me so hard it feels cathartic #also i think it's iconic that lil nas x had billy porter in the music video when i noticed i was like '??????!' #described images #image description in alt

[jasxier]

So, is this the season where Ciri is taken by the Wild Hunt? And the family breaks apart? And it's kinda Jaskier's fault? Is this what they're trying to communicate with that teaser? Can't wait GIMME VOL2 NOW.

#the witcher #twn season 3 spoilers #I'm on thin ice mentally I don't have the power to deal with fantasy drama yet here we are #lol #I don't know what to expect from vol2 tbh and I'm scared #is this why they kinda overdid it with the three being a family scenes? because that is all we're gonna get for the next seasons #everything goes to shit from now on guys #i hate it here #if the bard gets hurt I'm about to get involved in criminal activities #obviously! #i hope they realise how much the show is depending on jaskier #just make jaskier the main character already #and make the show nothing but him doing bard fights with valdo and attending orgies with mages #listen idc anything but the drama #i don't like angsty things 🙃 #i only came here for the monsters and the cool fights damn it #what is this hell #ok I'm done thanks for reading my ramblings

[fttitv]

vent

#i dont want to live in the world. #but the person who needs to know this does not understand how difficult it is for me to deal with. #im lazy bc i want to be. #theres nothing to work hard for. #i dont have a passion that belongs to me bc i have to make it up to my mom. #my sense of defense is misplaced and im easily used by others just bc they offer the attention that i crave. #im honest with mundane things but not with important ones bc im too scared even if it's too important. #i have patience for vexing things but not simple things. i used to not give a shit but here i am bc i do live in this world. #im sorry. #thinking about the world makes me ill when im supposed to have my own world. #i dont see the happiness. reality only hurts. #we're always suffering arent we? so why go on? #if i feel everything so deeplywhy cant i do anything about it?? #fttitv

[theodore-lasso]

I have to do a six month review at work and it goes for AN HOUR. Girl in what world do you have an hour's worth of stuff to talk to me about.

#i have to do fucking paperwork #bro im ngl if they ask me a single question about my time im gonna go blank depression has wiped my memory CLEAN of the past 6 months #i got Nothing #my ability to think critically??? gone #also my boss straight up keeps being like. haha jamie is the me from 5pm to midnight. but don't tell anyone ive said that because then i #have to pay them more #and im like. youve just said it. in front of someone haha pay me more and hes like haha #and theyve never pulled me up on anything so im like. can i just continue doing what im doing #im scared theyre gonna ask me to do more than what im currently doing which. im not doing without a payrise #or will ask me whats my plan for the future which idk how to bullshit rn with how mentally ill i am #im like my plan for the future is not killing myself thank you v much for checking in #and they're like oh i meant career wise #and im like yeah okay then making enough money to keep myself from offing myself haha which is what im currently getting so we good #i just clean up other peoples messes that's my job. and we're gonna get more people and more fuck ups #that i will continue to look after

[elibeeline]

Its 'i woke up too early and fell back asleep and had a crazy dream' day 🙃

#two dreams actually! i was still too tired after the first one #where i had moved into a block of flats? in which i had one of my managers share a kitchen with? #and in the magical world of dream land i had a drive thru window #and i dreamt i was working bc i do that too much and then an angry customer comes up and says something angrily #like he's stood in front of this car at the window and i get scared and turn for my mom (because the family all moved into this flat) #and when i do over to her thjs guy at the dining table (dont know who or why he was there) and he grabs my wrist and presses a knife to it #nothing happens injury wise because apparently im more worried about the guy at the window and i just shrug this guy off #and the dream ends when the guy at the window pulls out a gun and starts shooting but i wake up before anyone can get hurt :) #and the second dream! was about a scarecrow #i feel like its an actual movie bc that what the dream told me it was? like we were on the island where they shot the movie #and the scarecrow was still in the water #so we're on this boat ride (one of those touristy ones with a slide) and im hanging on for dear life bc wtf the scarecrow is in the water #and my stepdad had told me there's this really scary scene where he reveals his like. hollow face behind the mask/hood thing #and one fun detail that didn't end up being important is that he's meant to be scared of carved pumpkins? #like there's a border around the island keeping him in the water #and this is a fun detail because my brain only included it bc in between the dreams i checked my notifications #and someone was looking for a pokemon called a pumpkaboo for the next gym and it stuck in my brain bc idk what that was #so ah yes halloween pumpkins and scarecrows in February. thanks brain #but yeah after the boat ride the island floods and allows the scarecrow to come on land #(which was p smart kudos to u scary brain) #and we're all declared as missing bc idk we werent meant to leave the boat place or something when the flood came #and then brain finds all the action boring and skips straight to both my dad and stepdad bringing us back to the flat to mom #where i assume we probably live happily ever after but idk that flat was creepy and felt very unsafe #i do like that brain thought it was necessary to include it in both dreams rather than. yknow. the house we actually live in. #but if anyone wants to analyse those you're more than welcome too hehe ive always found that interesting

[countess-of-edessa]

its weird when youre at school for a while and then you go home to your parents and remember how tiring it is to be scared and stressed all the time. i really dont know how i did it 24/7 from ages 0-17 lol

#really not looking forward to going home this summer #im just so scared all the time that im going to make my father angry #or the dogs are or the weather is or a weird sound coming from somewhere else is #and we're travelling abroad and everyone keeps telling me how much ill like it and how fun it will be but all i can think of is all the #things that might go wrongs and all the things that my dad will get mad about #i know that’s ungrateful and stuff but i just dread it more and more as it gets closer to when i have to go #and i can’t ever get anything meaningful done because there's always some disaster that requires me to drop everything and fix it like the #although now i'll have an internship so hopefully my mother will understand i will be working for most of the day #and we can’t make any noise in the house because my father is working from home until forever i guess #we haven’t been able to talk in the kitchen for 2 years lol #he refuses to go to an upstairs room #that means my father has to drive us to mass and i get so scared whenever he drives #the house is so claustrophobic. there's clutter everywhere nothing is really tidy (and my mother cannot clean most of the first floor durin #the day because she isn’t allowed to vacuum etc…then again it’s always been disorganized) #and i miss so much my adorable tiny apartment where i vacuum every other day and i have white tulips in a vase and there isn’t STUFF every #where. The stuff makes me feel like I am suffocating. There are papers everywhere that my father has to look at and he won’t #there’s nowhere to go to walk away really but also i don’t want to walk away #because im afraid something will happen when im gone to make them mad at me i have to just sit there listening to nothing #my mother acts like she’s new here wanting to watch things my father doesn’t like when he’s in the room #answering questions of his that are supposed to be rhetorical #he says mean things rhetorically you’re not supposed to listen to them and she’s known him longer than us and yet she doesn’t know the scor #i miss my sister so much but i doubt she’ll be around much #my best friend lives down here now so i won’t see here until school starts again lol. i cannot wait for school to start again #i know im being an ungrateful whiny bitch sigh

[anaalnathrakhs]

...i'm starting to wonder if i wasn't actually pretty often failed by the adults in my life as a young kid tbh.

#i'm always doubtful where to put the blame #in a morally neutral causality kind of way to be clear #because like. i dont know. if i was the adult. confronted to the opaque behavior of a child. would i have done better? #but also i can't help but think #why the fuck did they make me skip a grade (last grade of primary on top of that) when i was notorious for never doing my homework #and was incredibly inconsistent across topics #like i sucked at math. like ''needs to count on fingers to do a simple addition or substraction'' sucking at math. #like i never learned any multiplication tables sucking at math #like i never got how to pose divisions and still can't at age 18 because logicomathematics are completely counterintuitive to me #and just. the work was never done to make me Get It. my work or teachers' work who knows. but perhaps skipping a grade wasnt the solution #or like #apparently when i was three years old the pediatrician suspected smth was up with me #either autism directly or ''generally suspicious child'' we're not clear on that #but he told my parents. and everybody said ''we better test that'' and then. nothing. idk. #they filled a parental report of behaviors questionnaire for... adhd i think? autism maybe. and that's it. never fucking heard about it. #god. i just remembered my mom saying proudly they almost never put me in the nursery as a kid. #always either with a parent or family or a nanny. #and perhaps mother. you could have foreseen that a kid with no siblings no pets no kid neighbors no playdates. would end up socially fucked #i remember the teachers scolding late students and showing us that we were supposed to be in bed by 9:30 or something #and internally i was like BUDDY AT 9PM WE'RE HALFWAY THROUGH DINNER #MOM'S BEEN HOME FOR LESS THAN AN HOUR #and shit. i don't know. i was scared of the dark as a child. to the point that even with the compromise #of keeping the door ajar and lights in the hallway (which i had to fucking advocate for btw) #i still slept curled up in the bathroom on a towel sometimes when it got too scary #and i would cry and scream before going to bed. i would beg my mom for sleeping pills from a young age. #i would often find myself in the morning sleeping with my face smushed between the pages of the book i literally fell asleep on #because i read until my eyes gave out #and a couple years later when i got a 3ds i'd play at night and if my dad caught me he'd storm into my room and i'd hide under the comforte #and he'd punch a couple times and whisper-yell at me not to do that and go to sleep #it took until i was about 15yo for me to see a sleep specialist

[viosjaan]

i don't think you want anything to do with me anymore so i can just vent the texts i want to send to you here

#i am sorry #truly genuinely #ive been trying to justify it to myself that we weren't technically together and you said go kiss other people ill still be here meet your #needs in the way you want #but i think it was #yesterday #this guy flirted with me and i flirted back but then suddenly this wave of disgust and self loathing hit me #like what am i even doing #how could i have done that #you were sitting there thinking we're okay you thought we were still together and im just in a bad mood going thru one of those depressive #episodes you were so understanding when you shouldn't have been because if i say im in love with you i should be there for you every step #of the way. #but you go through so much shit alone and im never there for you or atleast not there for you a lot of times and then i blame you for #liking your bestfriends more like it's so stupid obviously love should be reliable stable #and we were something na. we were everything except the label #i should have told you the moment i started feeling empty and dissatisfied again #but just. this isn't an excuse but like i didn't want to hurt you by bringing up this same fight for the one thousandth time #we agreed that you're not in the position to give more and i agreed to be okay with it and i really was. #but i can't help myself i want to give you everything i hate that feeling that i need to be less love less WANT less. mujhse nahi ho pata #i wasn't lying or pretending to be okay with it i was TRYING my best to be okay with it because i love you and this was the only way to #not lose you forever #now i just want to move on fr and be just friends with you. i can't lose you as a person but i don't know how to make this up to you #i am physically incapable of being in this situationship i want a relationship or a friendship i can't with this in between #which is what i told you in jan. i remember my chest actually feeling heavy with fear bc i was so scared of hurting you and getting hurt #again. jokes on me my worst fears came true all the progress we made by taking space is lost #i don't know if you really deleted my playlist. i tried to listen to more songs from it but they're so. lovely. talking about epic grand #love. which we have. but it's like waving a candy in front of a kid and snatching it away it hurts too much to have all the feelings and #none of the relationship. now that ive talked to some people in the romantic sense i get it #you were my best love my most perfect love there are no flaws there's nothing anyone else can do that can be equal or more to what you did #but idk it isn't meant to be maybe there's no future

[prncssberry]

.

#using the tags as a diary again instead of the literal notebook next to me #but holy shitttt I'm lowkey in love with one of my coworkers and I can't handle it #and I think (hope) that he might like me back for several reasons #but I'm so terrified of ruining our developing friendship outside work #he's also about 12 years older than me and I'm trying to deal with that internally too #we're going to drive 2 1/2-3 hours for the solar eclipse because we both have Monday off #just us because every single other person I've asked is busy or working #I'm so excited to the point of throwing up but I'm so scared that something might come up #or worse nothing comes up and we do take a day trip #I haven't felt this way about someone in so long and it terrifies me