#we were by shore so justin was able to get him out of the water no problem

[gaylefong3908]

Head On To Tobago Beach For A Caribbean Adventure

But sometimes the enemy could be found Guadeloupe within a group and some members of the resistance movement had been given up by previous or current colleagues and captured by the German forces. Luis was arrested and tortured and taken to Utrecht jail. Boy tried to get him out but was unsuccessful. But later freed himself, by escaping. To see the largest shipwreck in the Caribbean Grenada is the place to visit. But also if you like to scuba dive there are fantastic under drinking water Guadeloupe sights here. You will be able to see tons of underwater volcanoes as nicely as colorful tropical fish. Even although hurricane Ivan devastated this island in 2004 it is still extremely a lot a place you should visit if you can. Other Caribbean states include the Cayman Islands, Cuba, Haiti, Jamaica - along with Barbados, the Dominican Republic, Trinidad and Tobago. The Commonwealth of Puerto Rico is also component of this group. We decided we had to return to Max's for dinner our final evening on Long Island. This was without a question our very best meal on the island. Grilled conch and marinated mutton were Liz's ideas and they had been extraordinary. In the Bahamas, mutton is both sheep or goat. Watch the Oceans film for a child pleasant choice. This movie is all about the ocean. It is not only focused on the Caribbean, but it addresses all 4 oceans and discoveries. You can display your children what they might see on their journey. This will make them much more thrilled to discover and search the waters for animals! Watch the Oceans movie for a kid friendly option. This movie is all about the ocean. It is not only targeted on the Caribbean, but it covers all 4 oceans and discoveries. You can show your children what they may see on their trip. This will make them much more excited to explore and lookup the waters for animals! This small island in the Dutch Antilles has no less than 365 seashores. With that many you will struggle not to discover a spot exactly where you will be able to relax and take in the sun and sea. It is regarded as by numerous as the paradise island of the paradise that is the Caribbean. The third morning, I called Nancy to discover out where to get fresh fish, considering there experienced to be plenty in the Bahamas. She mentioned Nick the fisherman and gave us his number. I left a concept and he called us back again a few hours later on. The southern islands of Singapore provide a extremely calming atmosphere that can be visited by boat, but it's the background of the area that tends to make it so attractive to guests as nicely as Singapore's locals. There are 8 islands that were uninhabited south of the shores of Singapore. Over the program of fifteen years, Singapore took action to reclaim the islands and turn them into the closest thing to paradise most individuals will at any time stage foot into. We satisfied the grandmother Chloe and her husband, a granddaughter Justine who waited on us and one of the sons. 1 afternoon we offered to purchase Chloe a drink. She selected a concoction called SkyJuice, consisting of gin and extremely sweet coconut milk. She soon began sharing some of her family members history. She also shared that her son Ben had taken the proprietors of the yacht Les Belles (see above paragraph) deep-sea fishing. Ben experienced guadeloupe islands discovered they had no plans and had been merely preparing their laid back journey working day by day. What a fantastic way to journey the sea! Of the four main islands in the US Virgin Islands, St. Croix is most likely the very best option for heading to with a pet dog, because it is less seriously populated than the other islands and is by far the greatest. Hawaii has 4 primary islands, the island of Oahu, Maui, Kauai and the Big Island. All of these islands have each great as nicely as poor sides, but if you are somebody who is looking for a seaside which is unspoiled and uncrowded and can provide you with brilliant opportunities when it comes to snorkeling and surfing, then Kauai beaches are the ones you are looking for. Hawaii -This is the largest island in the whole condition and has big cities such as Hilo, Kailua-Kona and Kohala. All of these cities are discovered on various components of the area. The people who come to this region appreciate certain natural attributes such as Mauna Loa, one of energetic volcanic mountains in the world. Mauna Kea is another volcanic mountain that most vacationers enjoy viewing. The Hawaii Volcanoes National Park is a trendy tourist attraction function in the local area. Even the the plantations for macadamia nuts and coffee types great agricultural attractions. The Kohala coastline is a dry region exactly where you find luxury resorts. This early morning the Captain gave us a briefing on volcanoes and tsunamis. Evidently an underwater volcano known as "Kickem' Jenney" is established to take out the whole southern antilles. We are due to move directly more than it this afternoon. It has developed over the last few many years to exactly where it is just a few of hundred ft below the surface. If (when) it blows again, they predict it will break the surface area and set off a tsunami that will be truly devastating to the entire region. We are to move more than this future disaster on our way towards a drive-by volcano on the island of Montserrat.

[suckitsurveys]

Ready to answer 151 Questions? No.

1. When was the last time you swam in a pool? Last week. I am extremely grateful to have access to a pool this summer. It’s at my sister’s mother in law’s. She lets my sister and her daughters use it while she’s at work and I tag along too.  2. Do you like to party? I love throwing parties. Not like, huge drunk ragers, but bday parties are my specialty.  3. If your ex suddenly kissed you right now, what would you do? I’ve been social distancing myself from them for almost 10 years, so. 4. Are you a virgin? Nope. 5. What are your parents views on your relationships? My dad likes Mark.

6. If you ran into your current boyfriend/crush in 10 years, would you marry them? I am married to my crush.  7. Is your best friend dating anyone? One is. 8. Describe the shirt you’re wearing? It’s an olive green shirt with the Route 66 logo on it. 9. Do people who wear Hollister and Abrerbrombie every day bother you? I really don’t care. 10. Could you go out in public without wearing make-up? I do that 99.99% of the time. 11. What is one feature that you don’t like? On myself? My stomach. 12. Would people describe you as happy? Not currently.  13. Are you single? Nope. 14. Does it bother you that pretty much every survey you take asks if you’re single? Nah. 15. Do you have Tumblr? I really only use it for this, which I also haven’t done in a while either.

16. What about Xanga? Aww, RIP Xanga. 17. Have you ever babysat before? Yes. 18. Is there a teacher who you absolutely hate? Most of my college professors.  19. Ever shopped at Sephora? I think I’ve been in one before? 20. If your current boyfriend/crush suddenly moved away, what would you do? I mean, I’d be pretty shocked and hurt. 21. Do you have any university plans? Lol. 22. If your best friend revealed she was a homosexual, what would you do? Support her?  23. What are your views on sex? Be safe! Always get consent! 24. Do sexual questions bother you? No. 25. Would you rather have sex with your boyfriend or break up? Uh, what? 26. Have you ever dreamed about your wedding? Yeah. 27. Does it bother you when people TYpe 1yk dis’? Yeah, I don’t see too much of it anymore. 28. Do you delete pictures of you and your exes off of Facebook? Yes. 29. Would you ever date a friends Ex? I did that once oops. 30. What’s the last book you read? I’m still working on a couple. 31. Ready for 10 simple questions? Sure. 32. What is your last name? No. 33. What grade are you in? No. 34. What school do you go to? No. 35. Summer, Fall, Winter or Spring? Summer and early fall.  36. Favorite Color? Purples and blues. 37. Are your parents together? My father is widowed.  38. Any siblings? I have an older sister. 39. Favorite subject? Eh.

40. Least favorite subject? Eh. 41. Favorite song? I could never just choose one. 42. Okay. Simple questions are over. Happy? I don’t care. 43. How many friends do you have on Facebook? 200 something. 44. Ever been requested by some old guy from another country? Probably. 45. Have you ever googled yourself? Yeah. 46. Have a Formspring? No. 47. You’re offered free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert. What do you do? Take them and sell them :P 48. Would you rather spend the day at an amusement park or a water park? Waterpark. Ughhhhhhhhh I miss waterparks so much. It’s so weird to not be going this summer. 49. Been to Disney world? Nope. 50. If someone posts their status “9 Inches :(” do you know what they mean? Sounds like one of those things where people post a random status from a list of things that will likely get people’s attention and whoever comments on it is privately sent said list of thing and they then choose something to post as their status and so on. That was a popular game thing on Facebook years ago. <---Yeah, that. 51. Ever had a boyfriend? Yes.

52. Ever had a huge crush on someone who still doesn’t know? I doubt Will Arnett knows I’m in love with him. 53. Have you done something in the last week that you regret? No. 54. Ever drank alcohol? Yes. 55. Know anyone who’s currently doing drugs? Yeah. 56. Ever watched The Hills? No. 57. What about Jersey Shore? Yes. 58. Ever called someone a slut? I’ve said that jokingly to friends. 59. What do you think of short shorts? You do you. 60. Does it bother you if people swear around you? Nope. 61. Have you ever gotten an A in a subject? Yes. 62. What about a B? Yes. 63. And a C? Yes. 64. How about a D? Yeah. 65. Ever skived? What’s that? 66. Would you consider yourself popular and outcast or somewhere in the middle? I’d say somewhere in the middle. I had friends, but I wasn’t “popular” by any means. 67. Are most of your friends older or younger than you? Most are older.  68. Ever been stabbed in the back by a close friend? Yes. 69. Do you think it’s immature when people laugh at the number 69? Oops. 70. Ever watched porn? Yes. 71. How many laws do you think you’ve broken in the past month? I drove with out a seat belt (for a few blocks) and jay walked oops.  72. Do you wake up with an alarm clock? On work days, yes. 73. Do you prefer Wednesdays or Thursdays? Wednesdays.  74. If your school had a Glee Club would you join? No. 75. Ever performed in a talent show? No. 76. Have you ever cried in public? Yeah. 77. Do you have a favorite between your Mom and your Dad? I’ve always had a special bond with my dad. I love my mom, but we butt heads a lot when I was a teenager. I feel like our bond was getting stronger just before she died and I’m really sad we don’t get to know each other as we got older.  78. Would you audition for a reality talent competition? Nooo. I have zero talent. 79. How many celebrity crushes have you had? A lot. 80. How many non-celebrity crushes have you had? A lot. 81. Name 5 male celebrities who you think are attractive. Will Arnett, Paul Rudd, John Mulaney, Andy Samberg, Ezra Koenig 82. Name 5 female celebrities who you think are attractive. Aubrey Plaza, Alison Brie, Lana Del Rey, Alia Shawkat, Kat Dennings 83. Ever been compared to a celebrity? Ha, no. 84. Have any embarrassing pictures on Facebook? No. 85. Do you think spending £20 on Lip Gloss is a waste of money? Idk what that is in US dollars but I don’t usually buy lip gloss, so. 86. Are you opinionated? I can be. 87. Do you have a favorite store? Sure. 88. Would you ever wear Flare Jeans? I used to in grade school. 89. Do you own jeans that aren’t skinny? I have one pair of “boyfriend” jeans that I don’t really like.  90. Have you ever worn the same outfit twice in one week? Hello, pandemic? 91. What’s the longest period of time you’ve been away from school? I don’t know. 92. Do you google abbreviations you don’t understand? Yeah. 93. Does it bother you when people have cats as their profile picture? I don’t care? 94. Own a pair of converse? Yes. 95. Is there a teacher at your school who has obvious favorites? There was. 96. If yes, are you one of them? Never. 97. Do you text in class? I have. 98. What brand of jeans do you wear the most? Target. 99. At what point do you think sizes are “Plus Sized?” Fuck that shit. “Plus” implies that there is a standard size. 100. Do you want to lose weight? I’d like to be healthier.  101. Ever seen a therapist? No, but I should. 102. Ever watched porn? You asked me this.  103. Ever purposely ignored a text? Yes. 104. A facebook message? Yes. 105. A poke? I always ignored those. That was a dumb feature Facebook had. 106. A friend request? Yeah. I don’t accept a request from anyone I don’t know, but I have it set up where you can’t add me unless you are friends with someone I am friends with.  107. Would you say you read into things too much? Yepppp. 108. Is your best friend more likely to be the one suggesting something stupid or refusing to do something stupid? I don’t know. 109. Do you have a “fun friend?” (A friend who you have tons of fun with but you never really have deep conversations?) Eh. 110. Ever been called a bully? No. 111. Ever purposely hurt yourself? Yes. 112. Ever gone to church? I went to a Lutheran high school and we used to have “chapel” every first full school day of the week (usually mondays). That was kind of a church service. And one time I spent the night at a friends house on a Saturday and was blindsided the next morning when her parents were like “okay time for church!” 113. Would you call either of your parents screw ups? Absolutely not! 114. If you turned out exactly like your mom would you be pleased? Yes and no. 115. What do you want to do with your life? Lol.

116. Let me guess… You have brown hair? My roots right now are basically a really dirty blonde. And my tips were black but they are pretty brown right now. And hair inbetween is mint green lol. Pandemic hair ftw. 117. Already know what you’re being for Halloween? I’ll probably be Princess Carolyn again. Or just a bat, since I have both of those costumes.  118. Do you still go Trick or Treating? With my nieces, but we probably won’t be able to go this year :(  119. Ever liked someone WAY older than you? Celebrities. 120. Does it bother you when people have really loud conversations on the bus? Yes. 121. When you have sunglasses on, do you stare at people? I have. 122. Ever had a credit card denied? Yeah. 123. What’s the last movie you watched? Oh god, it’s been a while. I Love You Man, I think? 124. Last TV Show? Property Brothers, lol.  125. You see your Ex making out with one of your friends. What do you do? They wouldn’t.  126. Ever been called a whore? Jokingly. 127. Are you american? Yes. 128. Ever made yourself throw up? Yeah. 129. Have you ever kissed someone who wasn’t your boyfriend? Uh huh. 130. Are you Cute or Gross? Yes. 131. Does it bother you when people say “LOOK HOW MUCH YOU’VE GROWN!”? No one has said that to me in a very long time. I don’t recall being bothered by it, though. 132. Can you say intelligent things around the guy you like? Um, yes? Why couldn’t I? 133. Ever had the lead in a play? Not the lead, no. 134. What about a solo in a concert? Nope. 135. What kind of a student are you? I did okay in grade and high school. 136. Worst subject? All of college. 137. Best subject? Not college. 138. Ever had a crush on a teacher? Yeah. 139. Would it bother you if you found out that your mother was pregnant? Seeing as she’s dead, yeah, a little. 140. How late do you sleep in? On work days I sleep until the absolutely last minute, right before we are supposed to check in for a daily meeting at 7:10am, lol. And on weekends or days off I normally don’t sleep past 10.   141. Do you edit your profile pictures before posting them? A little. I brighten up my face and smooth it out. Sue me.  142. Be 100% honest. Do you have any friends who are uglier than you? All my friends are beautiful in their own ways.  143. Do you believe in love? Yes.  144. Would you consider yourself a good student? Didn’t you ask this? 145. Does it bother you when Surveys ask “Did you like this survey?” It just seems kinda pointless cause they likely won’t see it. 146. Salty, Sweet, Sour or Spicy? Yes.  147. Are you going into High School this year? Nooooo. Thank goodness. I did my time and graduated over 10 years ago. 148. What about Junior High? Omg, no. I’m old. 149. What is one thing someone could say to you right now that would make you cry? Ugh, anything.  150. Where did you find this note? @lovemesomesurveys 151. Last question. How many unread messages are in your phone? None. 

#surveys #quarantine

[walkineternity]

Day 5: Gun Point

((Forever (TV 2014))

All in all, Jo had taken the whole ‘immortality’ thing rather well.

Henry had stammered through a rather confusing explanation, that jumped back and forth between subjects. He had been desperate to get her to believe him, the whole wild tale, but he had seemed to be sabotaging himself.

 Then Abraham, probably fed up with his dad, had decided that Jo needed more photo evidence and brought out some old family albums. Henry had the tendency to be behind the camera, so most of the pictures were of a young Abe and Abigail, but there were still plenty of pictures of him. Enough that Jo seemed to believe him.

 “To be honest, Henry, this explains a lot,” she had said, looking a little wide-eyed. “Its…its an amazing story, and I’m feeling…. a bit like finding out Santa Claus is actually real…but,” and here she paused to finish off her third glass of wine, “I can’t ignore the facts staring me in the face. There were too many coincidences and excuses that never added up. This…shit. This just fits.”

 Henry had been terrified to tell anyone his secret, let alone someone he…. cared about. It never seemed to work out. But Jo, bless her, seemed to recover from her shock fairly quickly.

 The wine, which was Abe’s idea, definitely seemed to help.

 The first week she had kept coming back with questions, eventually making a list and going down it like she was interviewing someone at her job. Henry humoured her, at first a bit reluctantly, but gradually opening up in the face of her earnestness and…well. He never really got a chance to talk about this sort of thing with anyone, and it helped that Jo, despite eagerness and curiosity, never pushed on anything he didn’t want to answer.

 Eventually her questions slowed down and then, to Henry’s surprise, he found that it was business as usual. Their friendship seemed stronger than ever and this translated into working really well together at work. Henry thought it was good before, but for the first time in a while, he felt…lighter.

 The others seemed to pick up on the easy atmosphere and that seemed to lift their spirits too. Henry had been so frightened…. but having Jo ‘in the know’, so to speak, was like having backup. He didn’t have to watch everything he said around her. He could ask her for help with more modern technology without feeling embarrassed. He could look at picture and tell her about a memory that it sparked, without changing details or worrying that she would think he was crazy.

 Abe was almost insufferable through this. It seemed every time Henry turned around in their home, Abe was shooting him a knowing smirk. Finally, Henry snapped and said, “Yes, Abraham. I get it. You were right about everything. I should have listened to you.”

 “Aw, dad,” he sighed, smirk softening into a genuine smile, not afraid of Henry’s ire in the least. “You know I’m just happy for you, right?”

 Henry never could stay mad at his son.

 So, naturally, just when Henry was letting his guard down, that’s when things went wrong.

 They had been trailing after a man named Justin White, 38, suspected of fatally stabbing his girlfriend in their flat two days ago. The evidence was overwhelming, and as soon as they found him, he had bolted.

 So here they were, evening, chasing the rather fit man through back alleys. Jo had told Henry to split up, to try to cut him off, but to let her actually confront him. Henry had wanted to protest, but she had already taken off.

 So, he went around and managed to actually get in front of White, but did not expect to be met with the barrel of a gun.

 “Stay back, or I’m going to blow your head off!”

 Henry barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. How original, he thought sarcastically. Outwards, he turned his palms upwards in a placatingly gesture, and said, “Alright, Mr. White. I’m not moving. You don’t need to use that.”

 Jo had caught up when he was speaking and had her own gun pointed at White. “Justin, put the gun down now!”

 White whipped around to look at her, the gun still on Henry, but his next words directed at her, “I swear to god I will shoot him! I’m not going to jail!”

 Jo looked worried. Henry wondered why. She knew that even if Henry was shot, it wasn’t going to be permanent. He decided to remind her, “Detective! Arrest him! Don’t worry about me!”

 “Shut the fuck up!” White screamed

 Jo looked like she wanted to tell Henry the same thing, which was disappointing. He thought they were on the same page, finally. “You cannot let him get away with this. She was only 28, Jo. She didn’t deserve to be murdered by this man. We have to get justice!” And here he stepped towards the suspect.

 Jo and White spoked at the same time:

 “Don’t move!”

 Jo sounded worried and perhaps a little angry. White just sounded desperate.

 Jo looked at White and said, “Justin, just put the gun down. No one else needs to get hurt.”

 “I didn’t mean to! I just got so angry!” He cried. The gun wavered frantically. The man was unhinged. “I thought she was cheating on me! She just made me so mad! But I didn’t mean to, I didn’t!”

 Jo looked grim. Henry decided to speak up again. “You stabbed her sixteen times, Mr. White. That was no accident.” His voice grew an edge. “You killed her for nothing. You deserve to rot in a jail cell and we’re the ones to put you there.”

 He stepped forward again, but this proved to be the last straw for Justin White. He pulled the trigger, and shot Henry in the chest. Henry felt the impact like a punch, and heard another gunshot.

 He looked over at Jo in fear, but the small movement seemed to unbalance him and he collapsed onto the ground. Ah. There was the pain.

 The medical side of his brain started to catalogue the injury, and knew that he was going to die in minutes. He tried to breathe in, but he couldn’t seem to catch his breath. Getting shot never got easier. He was only trying to…he hoped Jo was okay.

 “Shit, Henry, shit!” There she was. Her face loomed over his, but he couldn’t seem to focus on any details of her face. She sounded upset.

 “I-It’s okay…. Jo, it’s o-okay. F-find Abe,” he couldn’t breathe. Oh, he couldn’t breathe. He hated this part of dying. He felt like he was drowning. It was most likely blood filling his lungs. “H-He’ll…. tell…y-you…” He felt wetness on his face. He wasn’t crying, was he? It was hard to focus. He felt Jo take one of his hands, and it grounded him enough to realise, no, he wasn’t crying.

 Jo was.

 She was leaning far enough over him that her tears were falling onto his face. He tried to reach up, but his body wasn’t co-operating. Blackness crept onto the edge of his vision. He felt so cold.

 “Jo, p-please…I….be b-back…w-wait…for me…”

 And then nothing.

 And then the coldness and darkness of the lake.

 And then he was breaking the surface and sucked in the sweet, frigid air.

 Henry started to make his was to the shoreline, where he could see Abe standing with clothes. Oh, thank god. He didn’t want to get picked up for indecency again. And…Jo was with him.

 He thinks back to tears on his cheek that weren’t his, and realises perhaps that he was missing something. Death and he were old friends, but Jo…despite knowing he would come back, was unused to such a thing.

 She had reacted so well, that in his elation, he didn’t think how awful it must be to be on the outside of it. To see a friend in such pain and not being able to do anything about it.

 He suddenly felt very, very young. Like a schoolboy waiting to see the headmaster. He could see from his position, getting closer, Jo had her hands on her hips. He couldn’t yet make out her expression.

 Yes. They…. needed to talk.

 For now, though, the chill of the water was setting in. The ghost of a gunshot wound throbbed in his chest, and he felt the strain of his muscles with every stroke.

 For now, he was alive. And loved ones waited for him on the shore. It was time to go home.

#whumptober2019 #no. 5 #gun point #forever #forever abc #henry morgan #jo martinez #abraham morgan #tw gun violence #tw mentions of murder #temporary character death #my writing #fanfiction #no pairings #gen #could be read as pre- jo/henry #post-reveal #post s1 finale #still a little behind on prompts but im trying lol

[difficultbutreal]

Happy

A/N: Yes, I know we don’t know 100% that Selena was in the maldivs with Justin and Pattie. Yes, I had to write this anyways because I love Pattie and she totally ships it - “they are so cute together, they’re adorable”, “I love Selena”, “what you see is how she really is”, “I think she’s precious”, “we have a special bond” like byeeee you can’t fight me on this.

They had flown in sperately, to minimize the chance of paparazzi finding them and disrupting yet another time that was supposed to be just them. And even tough they had spent their flights alone, Selena was excited to get away and spend time with Justin and Pattie. The older woman and her had always been close, she had confided in her when times were rough during their previous relationship or when she needed some form of motherly guidance while her own family was far away. They had often found themselves together somewhere to support Justin and their shared love for him quickly turned them into friends.

She also couldn’t wait to spend a couple of days with Justin, without people watching every step and the media making a huge fuss about it.

When she stepped into the place they had rented, she could already hear his laugh echoing trough the halls and when she caught side of mother and son in the spacious living room, Selena couldn’t help but watch them for a few moments, her bag still in her hand.

“Sel! Finally!” she heared him yell trough the room when he had noticed her, quickly making his way over to her and she barely had time to drop her bag before she was ingulfed in the comfort of his arms wrapping around her tightly, lifting her feet off the ground. Locking her own arms around his neck, she laughed at his excitement before he muffled the sound by pressing his lips against hers to greet her properly.

“Hi there,” Selena finally said when they pulled away.

“Hi.” He smiled, his hand on her back guiding her over to where his mother stood, knowing she had let them have their moment before greeting the girl herself.

“Selena,” Pattie smiled, wrapping Selena in a long hug herself. “I can’t tell you how great it is to see you.”

“I’m really happy to see you, too.” the younger woman told his mother sincerely. “I missed you.”

“Me too.” If either of them had paid attention to Justin, they would have seen a huge smile as he watched them interact. “I’m really happy you came,” his mom told her, realeasing her from their shared hug.

“Of course! There’s no way I could have said no to this,” she assured her. “I can’t stay as long but I am so happy to be here with you guys.”

“Not as happy as I am,” Justin remarked, his arms wrapping around her from behind. “Come one, I’ll show you around.”

“Dinner in an hour?” Pattie asked before the two of them had made their way out of the living room. “Sure thing, mom.”

.

“No way!” Pattie laughed, the sound ringing trough the air.

“I’m telling you!” Selena giggled. “That’s how it happened!” The three of them had rented a boat for the day, enjoying the calm and the quiet on deck, just spending time with each other far away from prying eyes. So far, everything had gone smoothly, the paparazzi hadn’t found them yet and they were able to enjoy a real vacation. The only thing that had disturbed the peace was Pattie’s breaking her foot which made it hard to do much else than laying in the sun and staying close to their rented house. She was still happy, tough. Surrounded by her son and a dear friend in a beautiful place; there were worse times to be tied to a bed - or in her case, a sunlounger.

With some help from the staff at harbour, she had gotten onto the boat, comfortably finding a spot on deck where she could overlook the scenery and the ocean.

“Some more drinks for my two favorite ladies.” Justin charmingly said behind them, carrying three bottles of water in his hands before placing them on the small table next to Pattie.

“Thanks honey,” she smiled, screwing the cap open and taking a sip while Justin sat down close to his girlfriend, pulling her into his side. She immediately wrapped her arms around his middle, puckering her lips as she begged for a kiss. Pattie smiled at their interaction, they seemed to be in their own little world for a few moments when they shared a few short kisses before smiling at each other.

It was good to see them like this. She could remember tougher times, when there was a lot of fighting over stupid mistakes and Selena sometimes would come to her crying when something had happened. And she had seen both their smiles fading and being replaced by bitter tears of heartbreak after they had broken up. And Pattie couldn’t help but feel sad, she had always loved her son with the slightly older girl. How happy he was and how well they fit together and how they helped each other in this chaotic world. In many ways, they understood each other like others couldn’t and she had been glad he had someone like her by his side. And she believed her son when he said that he was sure she was the one.

When she had found out that they were spending time together again a few months ago, Pattie had tried not to think too much about it even tough a big part of her hoped they would get another chance, now that they had matured and figured themselves out. And so after a while, she had asked him ..

“So … you and Selena…”

He stayed quiet but couldn’t hide a happy smile.

“You guys are hanging out?” Pattie asked and he nodded, shrugging his shoulders. “And .. is this a friendship kind of thing or …” she hesitated for a second before just blurting it out: “Are you getting back together?”

He was quiet for a long moment, taking a sip from his drink before setting it down. “I just - well, we’ve just been spending time together and we talked a lot, you know? I don’t know exactely where it’s gonna lead but uh … there might have been a kiss?” It was weird to talk to Pattie about it, having been distant for a while in the past. “We are just taking it slow.”

She looked at him, watching the small smile on his lips, the way his eyes seemed to be just a little brighter. She already knew the answer to her next question but she asked anyways.

“But you want to? To be back with her?”

“Well, yeah,” he finally admitted. His voice was quiet but firm, leaving no room for doubt. “There’s nothing I want more.”

“You know, some might complain about all the heart eyes and the kissing,” she trailed off after a few moments of being lost in her thoughts. “But I am just too happy for you guys.”

She could see Selena blush a little, hiding her face in the skin of Justin’s neck before looking up to her trough her lashes. “Thank you.”

“So are we, mom. Very happy.” Justin beamed, looking down at the woman in his arms.

“I can see that,” his mother nodded. “I’ve missed your smiles.”

The young couple shared a brief look before Justin released her out of his arm and Selena quickly was at Patties side, wrapping an arm around the woman and pulling her close. “I’ve really missed you,” Selena said, a genuine smile on her face. The moment was interrupted by Justins arms wrapping around the two women, joining their hug as the air filled with quiet giggles.

“Loooove you mom,” he sang, pressing a kiss to her cheek before they pulled apart.

“I love you too,” Pattie told her son, more serious than before when she continued. “And I am so proud of you, how far you’ve come. I’m so glad that after all this time and everything that happened, we are here tight now, together.” Justin queezed her hand, caught up in her words. He knew he had screwed up many times in the past and the thought of her looking at her with disappointment had made him distance himself from the woman that did everything for him, and sitting next to her now, with her acknowledging his change and forgiving him for past choices, it meant a lot to him.

“Thank you.” he spoke, his voice quiet but genuine as he wrapped his arms around her once more.

“And of course,” Pattie spoke, returning her attention to the brunette girl sitting opposite of them, having watched their moment with a smile. “I am so happy you are here with us as well, that you gave each other another chance.”

Selena smiled, slightly blushing. It meant a lot to her that her boyfriends mother supported them. She loved Justins family and she hoped to grow close to them again.

“Let’s do something before I start crying,” she joked, causing mother and son to laugh. “No but seriously, thank you for accepting me back in your life.”

“Of course!”

.

“Come here!” Justins voice ringed trough the air. He was stranding in he ocean, the water just above his swimtrucks as he waited for Selena to join him. She had been just behind him before he realized that she had not gone much further than the water reaching her knees.

“I’m coming!” she responded, the water splashing beneath her when she jogged trough the water as fast as the sand under her feet would allow her. When she reached him, she crushed into him, his arms wrapping her in a wet hug that made her giggle.

“There you are.” he mumbled, kissing her lips before they broke out of the embrace and Selena took his hand, walking further into the ocean with him.

“Isn’t this just breathtakingly beautiful?” the girl asked. Turning around, she faced the shore, taking in the stunning scenery. “I agree,” he smirked. “As are you. Breathtaking. And beautiful.” She blushed, something Justin had always loved dearly.

“I swear to God, you are still SO cheesy!” she exclaimed, lightly slapping his chest while laughing.

“And you still loooove it,” the boy joked, grabbing hold of her waist from behind, his lips pressing against her cheek. “Plus it is still true so ...”

She smiled, finding his hand and sqeezing it before suddenly, without any warning, she used her other hand to splash some water against him and he let out a surprised yell before letting go of her and using both his hands to do the same. Her laugh rang trough the air as the water splashed, both of them shoveling water towards the other.

“Ah stop it!” She yelled after a while, using one arm to shield her smiling face. “You started it!” Justin laughed but slowed down a bit.

“Let’s call it a truce,” the brunette pleaded and he held his hands up to signal he’d be good.

“But ... ,” he trailed off, walking closer to her until their bodies almost touched in the water. “I want something in return.”

He didn’t need to say it for her to have a pretty good idea, so she leaned closer to his face, their lips almost touching. Justin could feel her breath on his lips and he licked them in anticipation. “Oh really?” she asked innocently. “And what could that be?”

He smirked, using his arm to pull their bodies close together and her arms instantly wrapped around his neck before he lowered his lips to hers, meeting her for a passionate kiss before lifting her up, holding her steady with his hands underneath her tights as she wrapped her legs around his waist, loosing herself in the feeling of being so close. Eventually, he let her back down to the ground, her feet securely hitting the sand.

They took the opportunity of the quiet beach and barely anyone in the water, exchanging kisses and sharing loud laughs, grateful for being able to be together like this; without a care in the world, happy and stronger than ever.

Eh, I don’t know if I like it that much but I wanted to give you something while I am writing on another fic

#jelena #jelena fanfic #jelena fanfiction #jelena fanfictions #jelena fanfics

[cjdreamz]

May 19-20 2018

Two part

I was at the beach with my parents and bro, as well as my aunt S and KS, plus some random people who I didn’t know. I went off to do something, and when I got back, this girl I really didn’t like was freaking out that I brought “illegal pepper spray” to the beach. She would not stop talking so I grabbed her and shoved her face into my bag and told her it was just a sunscreen spray and called her a moron. She finally shut up and looked all sheepish, but aunt S and KS were really mad that I did that and were like how could you?? I just ignored them and started putting sunscreen on, even though it was getting pretty cloudy and the sun was about to set. I finished up and we were looking down the beach to our right because there were storm clouds in the distance and the beach was so flat that we were able to see lightening in the clouds miles away. I was sad I wouldn’t be able to get into the water anymore, and suddenly the lightening was right above us. It hit the water and these kids who were right at the edge of the water shrieked and had to run backwards to get away. We were just kind of watching the lightening hit the water, then out of nowhere these two boats came by with some guys water skiing behind them. We were all yelling at them to come to shore, but then lightening hit the water and the guys on the skis were getting electrocuted. Once they fell off of the skis they were okay, but it was very freaky. We left the beach at this point, and bro and I went to class because the semester was starting. I was asking him about that annoying girl and who she was, and he was kind of embarrassed that he was friends with her. I went to my first class and when I got there, I sat next to Noah who I knew from elem & middle school. The teacher (who was Danny Devito) came over to talk to me and told me I should be taking a linguistics class instead of the anthropology one I was signed up for, because it would fit really well with my thesis. I didn’t really want to so I said I would have to check that it would fit with my schedule, so he would leave. Once he was gone, Noah started saying I really should and listing all these reasons. Chris Evans was also there and was saying I should, and then Noah said I should because I was cute and really really smart and I was mortified and saying no I’m really not, and Chris Evans was like yes you are, also that’s a compliment, take it!! Then he got up and left down the hall and I shouted after him that he looked really good today, but he didn’t hear me. Noah told me the linguistics class was easy, it was about the Spanish language, and the last lesson of the course was just watching a video of Justin Timberlake talk about the subject matter. I was like okay maybe I should take this and started looking to see if I could make it work in my schedule.

I was looking out the window of my old room onto the street in the middle of the night, and I realized there were a bunch of one foot tall men running around the street, sidewalks, and lawns. They all had brightly colored outfits on, some had hats, and some had masks on where it was just a flat piece of material with eyes and mouth holes cut out. I was watching them and they weren’t really doing anything, so I went and woke up bro so he could watch them too. He turned on the light in my room when he came in for some reason, so when we looked out the window a big group of the little guys was staring straight at us. We ducked out of the way, but when we looked again we saw they were running towards our house. I was freaking out that they would be able to get in, then bro went downstairs and opened the front door to let them in. I ran into my parents’ room and woke them up because I was scared about what the little guys would do, and my dad said he knew what they were and he’d deal with it, but I can’t remember how.

#dream #dreaming #dream journal

[ladysqueakinpip]

All the OC questions with the selkie fam, which includes the 3 bros, Irena, and Anneliese, and also the boys mom if she's developed enough

HECK Y’ALL KNOW HOW TO DELIVER

*these asks are from this post in case anyone wants to either send more or reblog the original 

unfortunately i’m going to skip their mom for now just because she’s not developed enough :’c

1. Do any of your OCs have a speech impediment?

elian: nope! but megan suggested he sound congested all the time because of the ridiculous sounds weddell seals make

abbe: none

roland: none

irena: none

anneliese: none

2. Do any of your OCs have a physical disability?

elian: already answered! 

abbe: none

roland: none; im suddenly considering giving him bad eyesight though #glasses_roland2017

irena: none

anneliese: none

3. What is your OCs favorite band if they have one? (i’m answering this assuming they have access to the broad variety of music we have) 

elian: i feel like he would like the sound of bands like fall out boy, daft punk, imagine dragons etc. but he would like the lyrics of twenty one pilots more because he relates to them the most 

abbe: bryan adams?? phil collins?? elton john?? someone like that. 

roland: i’m torn because i want roland to be an edgelord but i also want him to be a quiet shy baby so why not both? i think he would like Gorillaz. sometimes laid back and chill and other times a little edgier. also in with the type of kids i feel like he would hang out with. 

irena: something a little older from when she was a teenager. probably a female artist. why are gwen stefani or celine dion sticking out to me?

anneliese: SHE’S THE 12 YEAR OLD GIRL WHOS OBSESSED WITH BOYBANDS like one direction and 5 seconds of summer. i feel like she would also love softer female artists like regina spektor

4. Does your OC have anything they take pride in? (like an award or collection?)

elian: *vibrates excitedly* spoilers

abbe: mostly how he’s been given the ability to… move on? his mom is still trapped in their family’s past tragedies and roland and elian are dragged down with that as well, but abbe’s been the one to grow and rebuild the house and get married and now he’s gonna be a dad soon. he’s proud he’s been able to continue the legacy. 

roland: he’s really proud of the things relating to his equestrian hobbies. he’s just starting out in the horse-breeding business but he has one or two really nice mares and im sure he has another one he’s training for the royal guard. he’s also the best rider in his family because its like all he does lol. 

irena: she was able to get out from under the shadow of her mother. irena and her mom don’t really like each other and her mom was always disappointed that she decided to become a knight instead of trying to climb the social ladder. they kind of stopped talking. ironically enough, irena ended up basically being adopted into a Duke’s family and though it’s super petty and very vengeful i think irena’s also proud of how she became everything her mother wanted in her own way and without her mom’s help. she likes to think of her mom being salty and jealous. 

anneliese: her reputation! she had to essentially rebuild it from the ground up after her dad did naughty scandalous things but she’s proven herself to the people who serve her. 

5. Does your OC have a favorite film? (answering like they live in modern times)

elian: he likes superhero movies, like the marvel movies. i haven’t actually seen a lot of these so i can’t pick the one that’s his favorite but i have a feeling it’s like captain america or spiderman. he wont stop making jokes about how roland is emo peter parker. 

abbe: already answered!

roland: black beauty he strikes me as the type who would like psychological thrillers like the shining or inception. movies that have lots of deep layers and summaries you stay up late reading until you’re too scared to go to bed. 

irena: she would like things with very traditional elaborate fight scenes and dynamic relationships and cool props and swords and armor and epic battles so basically she’s a lord of the rings fan. 

anneliese: literally the only thing coming to my mind are the twilight movies. the fault in our stars. ya’know stuff like that. i think she would be a big sucker for the princess bride. 

6. How tall is your OC?

elian: 5′1″

abbe: 5′7″

roland: 5′6″

irena: 5′2″

anneliese: 5′0″

7. Does your OC have any celebrity crushes? (answering like they live in modern times) 

elian: i don’t think he really follows celebrities he cares more about the quality of the movies they make. 

abbe: maybe he had one when he was younger but now that he’s married and has a kid on the way he doesn’t have time for these kinds of trivial things he has to focus on the #wife. 

roland: the actresses who are a little older but very #classic. julie andrews. judy garland. he might also like modern stars like anne hathaway or emma stone. one of those two. 

irena: what if she was a david bowie fan i feel bad not immediately saying her husband dwayne the rock johnson

anneliese: nick jonas. justin timberlake. orlando bloom. every boy from one direction. you get my drift. 

8. Do you ship any 2 of your OCs?

elian: ANNELIESE

abbe: his beautiful loving delicate sensitive understanding wife rosalie k thanks bye

roland: his super big crush on lady jeannine harpers kills me everyday

irena: dwayne the rock johnson

anneliese: ELIAN

9. How would you describe your OCs fashion taste?

elian: bold. he likes things that make him feel adventurous like big hats with feathers or sturdy boots. he’s upper class so he’s still gotta look nice but he goes for that “i’m a rich guy who’s never been camping in my life but i went out and bought all this super nice fancy camping gear so people will think i’m professional when i’m not” look. 

abbe: very presentable, always On Point™. he’s gotta dress to impress, so all his clothes are neatly pressed and he tries not to wrinkle them up too much or get them dirty. he tends to trade in neutral colors like white and black for things a little brighter to liven up the house a bit. he’s still young. let abbe be Free™.

roland: he’s a big emo hot topic baby and the only thing he’ll wear is black.

irena: sleek shiny new armor that’s hand-crafted with details carved into the breastplate and shoulder pieces. regal deep colors and clean polished boots. 

anneliese: PINK. big poofy dresses. less of a focus on patterns and more of a focus on teeny cutesy details. 

10. Does your OC have any special talents?

elian: lmao i’ve never talk about this before but i sort of headcanon he’s alright at. fishing. it’s dangerous for him to swim and when his dad was around he was in the same situation. as selkies they still had a strong draw towards the water so instead of fishing as seals they would bond with each other by going to the shore or out on a boat and just have some quiet fishing time. :’) but anyway because of all that elian is much better at using a fishing rod than other selkies are. 

abbe: he seems like a really average family-man kinda guy so i want him to have some talent that’s just so obscure and ridiculous and totally unexpected. he can juggle with his knees. he has this 6th sense that tells him when it’s going to rain. i’m confirming all this for canon immediately. 

roland: he sort of gives me the “intellectual” kind of vibes in a good way and in a bad way. he was probably very good at school/his studies and for some reason history is really sticking out to me the most! while roland and elian don’t really get along i kinda headcanon roland had to tutor elian a lot when they were working through their school books together. 

irena: she can play an instrument, i know that much! i haven’t decided what she plays, but i’m thinking some type of fictional string instrument. she teaches elian how to play some instruments, too, because we all know that poor child is bored out of his mind. 

anneliese: she loves the whole wide world and reads a lot as a weird form of escapism? reading is her way of connecting to all the people and all the places in the world and it exercises her imagination. she’s probably a SUPER FAST reader and i bet she has a scary-big vocabulary for a girl as young as herself haha. 

11. Is your OC really bad at something?

elian: already answered!

abbe: SELF CARE abbe will work himself to the bone and push down all of his personal feelings and hurt to put his family first. i don’t think he wants to be that way but he was kind of forced into that mindset after he had to immediately step up to his dad’s position and then get married on top of that like he had so many big life-altering changes thrown at him within a years time poor boy didn’t even have time to grieve or adequately manage his emotional state. 

roland: being an individual haha. more like being openly opinionated and voicing those opinions. he “aaron burr”s the heck outta life with his “don’t let them know what you’re against or what you’re for” attitude. he doesn’t want to give anyone a reason to start drama with him. 

irena: already answered! 

anneliese: already answered! 

12. Does your OC have both of their parents?

abbe, roland, and elian lost their dad 3 years before the story starts. for a good time after that their mom was not…. entirely there emotionally either so abbe is basically New Dad™. 

irena: yes

anneliese: her dad is… kind of in prison?? so like he’s there but not there ya know. and who knows about her mom i’ll talk about that in the next question. anyway her aunt and uncle took her into the family and are basically her new mom and dad congrats anneliese. 

13. Does your OC know their parents?

elian: yes

abbe: yes

roland: yes

irena: yes, but she lost contact with her mother years before the story starts and she’s totally uninterested in rekindling the relationship

anneliese: she knows her dad but i haven’t fully decided who her mother is or what happened to her so for now??? my answer is who knows. 

14. Does your OC have any siblings?

abbe, roland and elian are all brothers! they don’t have any other siblings haha. 

irena: none

anneliese: none but she did have a cousin! they were really close when they were little, almost like siblings. the cousin was the old heiress to the estate but she got a bad illness or disease or something like people did back in the good ol’ days and died. now anneliese is the heiress. 

15. Do any of your OCs have pets?

elian: already answered!

abbe: none

roland: already answered!

irena: she might have a nice riding horse but other than that i doubt she has time for her own pet. 

anneliese: i haven’t thought about it but she does seem like an animal kind of girl. if she does i can see her having a super fluffy kitty. 

16. Do you have any nonhuman OCs?

17. Do you have any OCs you haven’t posted about?

18. How would you describe your OCs nature in one word?

elian: righteous 

abbe: altruistic

roland: distant

irena: meticulous

anneliese: dreamy

19. Who is your youngest OC? (i’m combining this question with the other one and just saying their ages) 

elian: 13 yrs

abbe: 21 yrs

roland: 16 yrs

irena: 33 yrs

anneliese: 12 yrs

20. Who is your oldest OC?

21. What race is your OC?

they’re all selkies!

22. Would your OC like you?

elian: he would like some things about me, then find other things completely infuriating. 

abbe: he’d probably think i was a little too casual and maybe a bit weird, but he wouldn’t hate me either! 

roland: i think we’d be cool. 

irena: we could have a couple really nice conversations. 

anneliese: she would! 

#rosemem #oc stuff #lets T-A-L-K-A-B-O-U-T about ocs #efrens gift #its been like..... 2 weeks and i finally filled this whole thing out #IS ANYONE EVEN ONLINE ANYMORE haha #rip me up!!!

[placetobenation]

Title: Friday the 13th (2009)

Director: Marcus Nispel

Written by: Damian Shannon, Mark Swift

Starring:

Jared Padalecki

Danielle Panabaker

Amanda Righetti

Derek Mears

Plot: A group of young adults discover a boarded up Camp Crystal Lake, where they soon encounter Jason Voorhees and his deadly intentions.

Review: On June 13, 1980, a young Jason Voorhees witnesses his mother being beheaded by a camp counselor, who was trying to escape Mrs. Voorhees’ murder spree around Camp Crystal Lake. Approximately 30 years later, a group of vacationing friends — Wade, Richie, Mike, Whitney and Amanda — arrive at Crystal Lake on a camping trip to find some marijuana that was planted in the woods. As Mike and Whitney explore the abandoned Crystal Lake camp, an adult Jason, with a cloth wrapped around his face to conceal it, begins to kill the rest of the group one by one. Jason also kills Mike, but decides to spare Whitney and abducts her because she resembles his mother at a young age.

Six weeks later, Trent, along with his girlfriend and their friends arrive at Trent’s summer cabin on the shore of Crystal Lake. The group is unaware of the events that occurred a few weeks prior. Clay Miller arrives in town to search Crystal Lake for Whitney, his sister. During a confrontation, a farmhand rips Jason’s cloth mask so he replaces it with an early model goalie mask. Clay eventually makes his way to Trent’s cabin, where Jenna agrees to help him look for his sister on the other side of the lake. Clay and Jenna reach the old Crystal Lake campgrounds, where they witness Jason hauling a dead body into one of the abandoned camp houses.

How awesome is this shot?

The pair run back to warn the others about Jason, who soon arrives and cuts the power to the cabin. After killing three more kids, Jason chases Clay and Jenna back to the campgrounds, where Clay discovers Jason’s lair and finds his sister chained to the wall still alive. Clay frees Whitney, and all three attempt to escape as Jason arrives. The trio find an exit, but Jenna is killed before she can get out. Jason comes after Clay and Whitney, but Whitney, by pretending to be Mrs. Voorhees, uses Jason’s love and memory of his mother to distract him long enough to stab him in the chest with his own machete. Afterward, Clay dumps Jason’s lifeless body into the lake. Before he and Whitney can leave, Jason bursts through the wooden dock and grabs Whitney.

This was the second Friday the 13th film I caught in the theater, and I’m glad I did because there’s nothing like seeing old Jason on the big screen. Let’s talk about what the film does right. Straight away, Jason is back and very angry, which is perfect! Watching Jason tear through these teens like the old days was great fun, and at times he was downright scary to watch. I also love how the writers made sure to call back Friday the 13th Part 2 with Jason wearing a sack on his head before the callback to Friday the 13th Part 3D where Jason got his hockey mask. This was awesome for long time fans of the franchise. There’s a certain amount of respect the writers and director gave to the history of the character that I can really appreciate.

I also like that they built the opening up, making it basically it’s own little film to introduce Mrs. Voorhees and then Jason. By the time the title screen hits, it’s been almost half an hour! This was great, as it gave people time to catch up on the characters while not rushing anything. The next hour and change would fly by, and I was never bored or hoping the movie would just end. The characters are your usual assortment, nothing new here, with the douche bag jerk, the girl who’s stupid, the stoner, the clown, and then the serious girl and guy leads. Watching them get theirs was more fun then I had in a long time with the franchise.

Well I wouldn’t get out of the water either.

The kills weren’t terribly creative but at this point, it’s pretty hard because we’ve seen just about everything there is to see. What I appreciate is they didn’t go for the torture porn route, like Hostel or Saw. Here, we get gore, good gore as well, along with plenty of story to keep things moving around. I liked the idea that Jason just wanted his mom back, and they did away with any question of weather Jason survived the drowning and watched his mother die. Here, we know he saw it all and that’s good enough for him to start killing.

While I do gush about a lot of the film, it’s not without it’s problems. First off, if Jason’s been going around kidnapping and killing people for so many years, so much so that people who live in the area know of the legend, why does Trent, the douchebag, have a cabin out at the lake? How did they summer or vacation there with Jason running around? What the hell?

Another problem is with Clay and his sister, I think it’s great that she reminds Jason of his mom, but he kept her chained up for six weeks right? So how did she go to the bathroom? What about that problem that springs up once a month? And food, did Jason feed her? Just to add onto this, since we’re talking about Jason keeping someone chained up underground in his lair, how did he have the know how to dig all these tunnels and underground caverns without them collapsing on themselves? I don’t get how he was able to do all of this on his own.

He’s one tough bastard.

One last issue I have, and this is a small one, is the reason for the kids in the beginning to be out at Camp Crystal Lake. One of them knows the legend of Jason, even telling his friends (and the audience) about it. Okay, so you don’t believe in that stuff, that’s fine I can overlook that. The reason you’re out there though is you’re searching for a large field of weed. That’s right, the teens GPS’ed a weed crop, and were trying to find it. I don’t know how you GPS a weed field, in a small town where people know about Jason yet the local police do nothing of this weed field. Even with that stupid reason for sending the kids out there, the reason is recycled from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, where the kids were smuggling weed across the border, and got attacked. The producers of these remakes were the same, and reusing the weed plot point to me, is weak and quite frankly stupid.

Still, that machete through the dock kill was awesome, am I right?

Acting: I’m not a fan of Supernatural, but I thought Jared Padalecki did a fine job as Clay Miller.

Danielle Panabaker was our lead girl, and it’s a shame she didn’t make it to the end, as I liked her more then Whitney.

Amanda Righetti really didn’t have much to do character wise as Whitney, maybe that’s for the best.

Derek Mears did a fine job as Jason, again all it really takes is being built and able to move around swiftly.

Gore Factor: Let’s go: a screwdriver in the neck, girl burned alive, axe in the back, arrow in the head, impaling by machete, another impaling, machete in the skull, a slit throat, a poker through the skull out the eye, and plenty more!

Nudity Factor: The guys get three different sets of boobs, the girls get Jared Padalecki sweating up the screen.

Fun Facts:

Producer Michael Bay walked out in the movie premiere, stating that the movie featured too much sex.

Including the 2009 remake, Jason has killed 167 total people throughout the “Friday the 13th” series.

According to co-writer Damian Shannon, the character of Jason Voorhees was re-envisioned as more territorial, like a hunter, someone who doesn’t kill people at random but will defend his territory from anyone invading it, and this in the most horrible manner. Director Marcus Nispel similarly claims the film shows new aspects of Jason’s personality. Derek Mears says his portrayal of Jason as a survivalist defending his territory is partially inspired by the character of John Rambo in First Blood (1982).

Adrienne King, star of the original 1980 film, was approached by producers Andrew Form and Bradley Fuller to do a cameo appearance during preproduction. A few days later, the producers called her back and told her they didn’t want anyone from the original film to appear in the remake.

The title card of the movie isn’t displayed until the end of the opening segment, nearly 25 minutes into the film.

The first time Paramount has any association with the “Friday the 13th” series since 1989.

Overall: Friday the 13th is not the best Friday the 13th, and even though it’s got some problems, this is a good remake of the original film. There’s plenty to enjoy for fans of the series, the mix of Jason using a sack for a mask and then getting the hockey mask, plenty of good kills (machete through the dock, the axe throw) and T&A really bring the Friday the 13th experience together. There are worse remakes out there then this for sure, so check it.

Rating: 3.5/5

Writers Afterword: A year ago today I sat down and wrote the Friday the 13th review, and my intentions were to just review the Friday the 13th films, as they are my favorite horror films. What I ended up doing was writing about so much more then that, and I did my best to cover the most popular films, while also covering ones that maybe you didn’t see. I know that I didn’t get to cover all of the sequels to the popular franchises, like Halloween or A Nightmare on Elm Street. Also, if there’s a film you wanted to see get reviewed and I didn’t get to it, well I’m sorry.

Fear not, I’m not going away. I’ll be back in a few weeks with a whole new set of reviews, for a whole different medium and genre. I want to thank Justin, Scott, and Brad for backing me up and allowing me to write what I wanted to write, for believing in me, and trusting me to help launch Placetobenation.com. They gave me a canvas to practice my art week after week, and I’m incredibly grateful and thankful for it.

This is not the end of the House of Horror, think of it as a break. We may return to it down the road after a few months or maybe even after a year has passed. Sometimes we all need to stretch our legs and try something different. I also want to thank everyone that’s ever read my column, all six of you are awesome.

Stay scared!

#IFTTT #Place to Be Nation

[ecotone99]

[TH] Margaret

**Warning! This is the final part of the story! To start at the beginning click here.**

​

Papa killed Mama on a summer’s night, Justine under autumn’s light, and Simon and Ronan on a winter’s day. I had watched him do it all. He broke the thin ice so Ronan and Simon would fall in, but then he jumped in after them. Perhaps he knew I had seen and feared what I might say.

Papa jumped into the frozen water without hesitation, pulling the bodies of the two boys up to the surface with difficulty. His own body was shaking violently from the cold that he nearly collapsed after pulling the boys to the shore.

“We could end it now, you know. Push them all back into the water so he can’t hurt anyone anymore. And who knows if those even are your brothers anymore?” whispered Margaret.

I walked slowly towards the things pretending to be my brothers and father. I had seen the horrors throughout these last few months that I feared what would happen if I didn’t act now. Ronan and Simon were blue, perhaps because they weren’t breathing or because of the cold. Papa was shivering, his legs still in the water. It would only take one shove to send him back into the water, and he was too weak to pull himself back up. Then, everything would finally be over. I brought my arms up, bracing them against his shoulders. I pulled my leg back so I could move my momentum up into my hands. I brought my foot up to lean forward and—

“Anna! What happened?!” Justine yelled as she ran towards up. Quickly I dropped my arms and stepped back, grabbing Margret from the ground she dropped to once I let her go.

I couldn’t figure out how Justine had known, but then I saw Lily and Stella hugging each other in-between the house and the pound, obviously the ones that had alerted my eldest sister.

I was immensely annoyed with them, especially since they were also supposed to have been on the ice.

“Those brats will pay for this. They ruined everything, now what will we do?” whispered Margaret to me.

Justine pulled Papa the rest of the way out, dragging him further up the bank. Once Papa was at a safe distance she ran back to Roman first, pressing her hands to his chest with pressure, but he immediately coughed up the frozen water he had swallowed. Simon took more time, but he also eventually started breathing again.

They all sat, breathing heavily for a moment. Their eyes were wide with disbelief as to what happened. Papa was cold but able to walk so he grabbed Ronan while Justine places an arm under Simon so they could make their way back to the house.

I followed behind, keeping my distance to whatever was before me. Maybe Papa saved them so he could ensure everyone would let their guard down. This must be some plot to end us all.

The twins were already inside when we arrived, having added more wood to the fire so that the boys could all sit in front of it to warm up. I sat in the back of the room, completely unsettled that the one chance of escape from the demon pretending to be my father was now gone.

Everyone was so quiet, still unnerved from the day's strange events, but suddenly Ronan turned in my direction.

“Annabelle! What in God’s name did you do?!” Ronan yelled, standing up from his place in front of the fire.

I was unsure what he was referring to, but he staggered towards me, his body still stiff from the cold. He still looked like Ronan, but I knew he was dead already. The real Ronan would have already attacked Papa for what he did.

“Why would you push your skate into the ice like that?! Were you trying to kill us?!” Ronan screamed at me.

I was utterly and completely shocked. This had to have been Papa’s plan all along, to turn the entire house against me! He must have thought of this from the moment I saw him kill Mama.

“No. No! I didn’t do it! It was Papa, didn’t you see him?!”

I expected my siblings, if they were still alive, to believe me but by the looks on their faces, I knew they were truly gone. Even the twins must have met their demise when I wasn’t looking because they glared at me too.

“Anna, how wrong of you, to make something so vile up. What is wrong with you?” whispered Justine.

Her words though softer than Ronan’s but hurt even more somehow.

“They’re messing with you Anna, don’t listen! They’re trying to say you’ve gone mad because you know what really happened!” Margaret said.

She was my only ally in this entire mess. It was then that I realized Margaret sounded exactly like Mama.

“It’s true. If you were really Justine you would believe me! He killed Mama, and then you, and now the boys!” I cried.

I needed to run away, I couldn’t stay in this house anymore.

“I told you, Papa, she’s just like Mama. She can’t tell what’s real,” Justine said quietly.

A tear rolled down her face as she said it.

“They’re lying! Don’t listen, Anna!” yelled Margaret.

I grabbed Margaret even closer to me if it were possible.

“No, I saw you. I saw you stab her! You killed her!”

“No Anna,” spoke Papa then, “I sedated her so the physician could take her to get help. She wasn’t sleeping or eating. She started keeping you awake too, I had to do something.”

“Lies! Lies!”

“No, you’re lying! I saw it! I was standing at the bottom of the stairs! I saw you!” I yelled back.

Everyone looked at me with either sad or scared expressions. I knew it then, they were all dead already.

I ran up to my room, slamming the door. Without a second thought, I started to pack up as much as I could possibly take with me. I sat by the window with a small pack of clothes and Margaret, waiting for the house to go silent before I made my escape. Once I couldn’t hear any footsteps or whispering, I opened my window and climbed down, using the vines as footholds. The moon was out so I could see the terrain before me, and I quickly put Margaret into my pouch before starting my path away from that cursed house.

I prowled through the bush, cutting through the large stalks of grass and stepping over scattered logs on the ground of the wooded land. Insects crawled beneath my feet as I moved on through, their exoskeleton gleaming in the light from the moon; the only indication of their presence as their dark bodies blended with the night. I shoved my way through the grass and weeds growing in a wild frenzy around me as if every stem was reaching as tall as they could towards the skyline.

The ground did little to absorb the sound I made as I moved, seeming to echo every footstep and heavy breath back towards me, all fusing with the frantic galloping of my heart in my ears. Every step I made was slow, so painstakingly slow, and all I wanted to do was run out of this unseeable labyrinth. I prayed to any god listening above to help me, I prayed that they would make sure he didn’t see me. Papa couldn’t know I was running away, he couldn’t know I was leaving just like Mama tried.

I was just about to reach the tree line when I saw a shadow approach from my left.

“Annabelle, don’t be afraid. We just want to help you,” said Ronan as he approached me slowly.

He had his hands up, showing me there was nothing in his hands. I could see him clearly in the moon’s light but something was amiss in his eyes. I sprinted away before he could catch me, running to my right. I was just about to make it to the trees again, knowing they wouldn’t be able to find me once I was hidden in the dense woods, but before I could make it, thick arms grabbed me at the waist, pulling my body upwards.

“No! No! Let me go!”

I tried to kick and bite, but the arm of the demon I called Papa didn’t let me go.

“Now Justine, hurry! I can’t hold her like this long!” yelled the man I once called Father.

Justine emerged from the tree line I had been heading towards. Her steps were slow as she approached me, her hair gleaming like a cat’s in the moonlight. She was holding something that caught the light, something metallic.

“I’m sorry Anna, we’re just trying to help you. You have to understand,” said Justine.

Suddenly, I could see the long needle Justine was holding and the clear liquid within it. My body went numb for a moment, convinced death was upon me.

“No! No! Justine, please, don’t do this! I didn’t hurt anyone, please! It wasn’t me! Please, be my sister again!” I cried.

But no matter how much I cried, the dead girl before me continued to bring the needle closer to me. She moved her arm up to arc it downwards with momentum, right into my neck.

I didn’t feel anything at first, but then I felt the heat of the liquid moving through me. Suddenly everything around me looked as if it were melting and fusing together. I suddenly saw so many trees before me, and so many Justine’s all with eyes the color of tar. I tried to reach for my pack to grab Margaret, desperate for her voice of reason amongst this chaos, but my world went black.

When I woke next, I was strapped to a bed. There was a woman to my left in a long dress and white bonnet, and a man to my right with a long white coat.

“Good morning sunshine. What do you remember?” said the man when he saw my face.

“Where am I? Who are you?” I implored.

The man only laughed quietly.

“Don’t worry, we’re going to help you. Your father brought you here, he said you’ve been having difficulty seeing what is real. We’re going to fix you,” said the stranger.

Suddenly, the woman grabbed my face, putting cold metal prongs against the sides of my head and a leather strap in my mouth.

“You’ll want to bite down on that, hun. This hurts just a bit,” said the woman.

I looked between them both frantically, but all they did was stretch smiles across their pallid faces, and pull the switch. I swore I saw their eyes turn black just before the electric current coursing through my skull brought me back into darkness.

———————————————————————

The first escape: Part Four

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[nextdestinationunknown]

Day 61 (7/31/14): Anacortes, WA | Spokane, WA

Time to start heading east. We began making our way over to Spokane, WA, Justin’s old (short-lived) stomping grounds. Justin had lived in Spokane for a few months about 10 years ago, and since we’d be passing through, he wanted to show me around. On the way, we passed the Wenatchee River where there was a nearby fire. We could see the smoke billowing over the mountaintops. We even saw a log still smoldering. Luckily though, the fire seemed to be fully contained at that point and didn’t cause any delay in our travels.

We drove through Leavenworth, a cute little Bavarian town similar to Solvang, CA. All of the buildings stayed true to the Bavarian theme, even the gas stations. Unfortunately since we were pressed for time and towing our trailer, we couldn’t stop to check out the town. We wish we could have spent some time there.   As we continued heading east, the landscape became barren and dry, not at all how I pictured the state of Washington. It’s interesting how much the terrain can change within a single state. However, we started seeing pine trees again as we approached Spokane. We finally arrived at our RV park after sundown.

  Day 62 (8/1/14): Spokane, WA | Coeur d’Alene, ID

Frank’s Diner

Today is our 2 month anniversary of being on the road! Justin surprised me this morning by taking me for breakfast at Frank’s Diner, a neat restaurant in an old train car in downtown Spokane. While we were waiting to be seated, we happened to meet another couple who is also currently traveling in an RV on an extended road trip. We got to talking about our experiences and swapped funny war stories of being on the road.

When it came time for us to be seated, we ended up being placed at the counter next to our new friends, Mike and Judy. We continued talking over breakfast and learned that they also have a blog about all of their road trips! We exchanged info and plan on keeping in touch. We’ve really enjoyed meeting nice people along the way. By the way, the food was outstanding! I had the Blueberry Muffin French Toast, and Justin had the Spicy Creole Benedict on a grilled biscuit…yum!

Inside Frank’s Diner

Our new friends, Mike & Judy!

Blueberry Muffin French Toast

Spicy Creole Benedict

After breakfast, we headed to the South Hill area. The neighborhoods were great with their tree-lined streets and older brick and craftsman-style houses, many of which had been refurbished. We visited the Japanese Garden and walked the dogs around Manito Park. Next we went back to downtown Spokane where we strolled around Riverfront Park along the Spokane River and took photos of the lovely Spokane Falls from the pedestrian bridges.

The Japanese Garden

Manito Park

The Spokane River at Riverfront Park

Spokane Falls

Then we drove about 30 miles east into Idaho to visit Coeur d’Alene. There was a street fair going on near the lake. We walked around for a bit, but it was about 100 degrees outside, and the black asphalt of the street wasn’t helping.

The Street Fair

Lake Coeur d’Alene

We decided to cool off inside Hudson’s Hamburgers. Multiple people had told us that we had to try their burgers while we were in Coeur d’Alene. When we sat down at the counter, we asked for a menu, but the waitress pointed to a board on the wall saying that was it. The only items listed on the “menu” were Hamburger, Double Hamburger, Cheeseburger, Double Cheeseburger, Egg Sandwich, Ham & Egg Sandwich and Pie.

When I ordered a cheeseburger, and asked for no tomatoes on it (I absolutely despise tomatoes), they said the burgers don’t come with tomatoes or lettuce, just pickles and onions. There were 3 sauces on the counter to choose from: Ketchup, Spicy Ketchup and Spicy Mustard (no regular mustard). There are also no french fries. We then noticed a T-shirt on their wall saying something to the effect of “No fries, no onion rings, no bacon, no avocado, no cheddar cheese, no lettuce, no tomatoes, no shakes, no credit cards, no…, no…, no…” Haha!

Hudson”s Hamburgers

The Cheeseburger

We were taken aback at the simplicity of their menu and it’s items but knew we had to just go with it and at least have a burger. A guy prepares the burger in front of you and hand-cuts the pickles and onions himself. As basic as the burgers were, they were actually pretty good. We’re glad we tried them. It was definitely an interesting experience to say the least. 🙂

  Day 63 (8/2/14): Spokane, WA | Missoula, MT

The past few days had been hectic with traveling and sight-seeing. As we were driving to Montana, I started calling campgrounds to check on their availability for the weekend. We had originally wanted to stay close to Glacier National Park as that was the main point of interest we wanted to see in Montana. However, all the nearby campgrounds were already completely booked. Luckily, we found a campground in Missoula with one back-in site left. It wasn’t our first choice for places to stay, but unfortunately, it was the only option available. We had only backed in to a couple sites before and prefer pull-throughs as they’re much easier to get in and out of.

When we got to the campground, we were disappointed (as was Saucy) to find that the grass at the sites was dead. Also, the back-in site they gave us was extremely short and narrow with trees on both sides. We did a 50-point turn trying to get the trailer into the site, but the trees were blocking our entrance door as well as our slide on the other side. After more maneuvering plus help from a neighbor, we finally got the trailer situated. However, there was no room to park our truck at the site, so we had to park it across the way in a field (don’t ask).

After being stuck with such an awful campsite, we wanted to book our next several campgrounds in advance to avoid unavailability. When we went to research future campgrounds though, we discovered that the WiFi service at our current site was practically non-existent and unusable. We ended up having to drive down the street to a Starbucks to use their WiFi. Definitely not ideal. Luckily though we were able to find our next campground, which was a huge relief.  Also, there was a nice sunset that evening with a red sun.

  Day 64 (8/3/14): Glacier National Park | West Glacier, MT

We reserved today for Glacier National Park, and it’s a good thing we did because we spent the entire day at the park. There was so much to see! There are no words to accurately describe the pure beauty of Glacier National Park. To be honest, I wasn’t really a fan of Montana until Glacier National Park. Montana, you’ve won me over! Also, Montana has been the first place so far to match up with my idea of it. The landscape of most states have been completely different from what I imagined them to be, but Montana was true to my imagination.

Flathead Lake

More of the lake (it was huge!)

On the way from Missoula though, we drove through Polson where we were pulled over by a police officer next to Flathead Lake. Apparently we were speeding but were completely unaware that the speed limit had gradually decreased from 70 mph all the way down to 35 mph as we approached the town. The last speed limit sign we had seen was for 45 mph (we must have missed the 35 mph sign), so we were going 51 mph. Luckily though, the police officer was really nice. When we told him it was our first time driving through Polson heading to Glacier National Park for the day, he let us go with just a warning. Thank you, Mr. Police Officer!!! We promise we’ve paid much better attention to the speed limit signs since then!

Lake McDonald

We continued driving and passed through the quaint town of Kalispell. After entering Glacier National Park at the Apgar Visitor Center, we were driving next to Lake McDonald. There wasn’t a good view of the lake from the road as the roadside was heavily wooded. We weren’t too impressed initially but decided to pull over anyway to try to get a better close-up view of the lake. Thank goodness we did! Once we reached the shoreline of the lake, we were astonished at how crystal clear the water was! We could see every single pebble in the lake!

The beautifully clear lake begged us to take a dip in it. With no bathing suits though, we were only able to put our bare feet in the water. It felt freeing…and painful. The pebbles were not easy (or comfortable) to walk on. Haha! It was still incredible though to be able to stand in a glacial lake. With a beautiful mountain backdrop, Justin skipped pebbles across the lake as I watched from the shore. If we had had some lounge chairs, I think we could have stayed there all day gazing at the beautiful lake and it’s pebble-covered floor.

Lake McDonald

Skipping Rocks

My feet are actually in the water, but you can’t tell because of how clear the water is!

We finally tore ourselves away from the lake and continued driving until we came across the impressive McDonald Falls. You can hike right up to the falls where the water is incredibly blue. I’ve decided that when we settle down after this trip, I want at least one wall in our next place to be painted the same shade of teal as the water of the falls to remind me of their beauty. Next, we made our way up the Going-to-the-Sun Road. The climbing road is extremely narrow at times (especially for a truck) with steep drop-offs on the side. I don’t do well driving in those conditions, but the gorgeous views made the nerve-wracking experience worth it, almost making me forget how treacherous the drive was.

McDonald Falls

We saw Heavens Peak with it’s shimmering snow and icy ridges glistening in the sunlight. Next, we came to one of my favorite sights in the park: Haystack Creek Falls (it’s difficult to decide on a single favorite place in the park as everything is unbelievably scenic). The falls seem to flow directly out of the mountain and cascade under the road through a bridge where they continue down the hillside. It’s such an incredible sight as you’re driving along the road, turn a corner and see it ahead in the distance.

Heavens Peak

Haystack Creek Falls

Later in the day, we eventually reached Logan Pass, the highest point on the Going-to-the-Sun Road at 6,646 feet. Near the Visitors Center are lovely views of surrounding mountains and meadows. From there, we went to the Jackson Glacier Overlook where we got a clear view of the glacier. Of the remaining 25 glaciers in the park, Jackson Glacier is the seventh largest. After stopping to see the glacier, we continued driving until we reached the end of the Going-to-the-Sun Road at the Saint Mary Visitor Center.

Logan Pass

Jackson Glacier

On the way back, we pulled over at Bird Woman Falls, another waterfall right on the side of the road where we witnessed a rainbow at the base of the fall. We also stopped at the Mountain Goat Research Area where we got up close and personal with some wild mountain goats! What an incredible day! Out of all the National Parks and National Monuments we’ve seen so far, Glacier National Park has been my favorite.

Bird Woman Falls

Wild Mountain Goats!

Days 61-64: Washington, Idaho & Montana Day 61 (7/31/14): Anacortes, WA | Spokane, WA Time to start heading east. We began making our way over to Spokane, WA, Justin's old (short-lived) stomping grounds.

#Anacortes WA #Apgar Visitor Center #back-in RV site #back-in trailer site #Bavarian town #Bird Woman Falls #bridge #central Washington #Coeur d&039;Alene ID #cross-country road trip #driving the Going-to-the-Sun Road with a truck #featured #fire #Flathead Lake #Frank&039;s Diner #Frank&039;s Diner Spokane #glacial lake #glacier #Glacier National Park #Going-to-the-Sun Road #Haystack Creek Falls #Heavens Peak #highest point on the Going-to-the-Sun Road #Hudson&039;s Hamburgers #Jackson Glacier #Jackson Glacier Overlook #Japanese Garden #Kalispell MT #Lake McDonald #Leavenworth

[lizziexazz]

Panic in Paradise

I’ve just returned from a short weekend holiday in Perth with my group of girlfriends. We had such a great time hosted by our friends there who were the best hostesses you could ever find. Even though it was a short trip, we had a lot of fun and made memories we’d treasure forever - and in my case, one particular memory that I’d carry with me until the day I die:  The memory of my best friends saving my life.  

We went out one afternoon for a swim at Meelup Beach in the Margaret River region, about a 3 hour drive from Perth. The water was shallow and cold, but calm with hardly any waves. We had a relaxing swim and then thought it would be nice to kayak to a nearby rock close to the shore where we were told it was a good spot to snorkel. I’d never done either before and wanted a taste of Wild ‘Straya. After all, the rock was just RIGHT. THERE. It’d be a couple of minutes rowing at the most. Except just a few minutes in of rowing, the wind started to blow. Out of nowhere, clouds were coming in fast, and creating waves making the water choppy. No matter how hard we rowed, we kept getting pushed farther out to sea. My girl friend who was kayaking with me, kept trying to steer us straight, while another friend on her paddle board was guiding us back to shore. We rowed backwards, and it worked momentarily, until the wind picked up again and we were rowing in circles. As I brought my phone in a ziplock bag (thinking it would have made a great video to capture my first time kayaking), I tried to dial for help, but the sun was too bright that I couldn’t see my screen to unlock it, and had to unzip to try - which probably caused some water to get in the bag. I couldn’t place a call. At this point, one guy from the kayak service came paddling to help us. “Are you guys alright?” “NOPE!” I shouted. “Didn’t think so.” He strapped the ‘leggy’ to his paddle and tried to row back, but it was very difficult. “Alright, Imma leave you guys here and swim back for help” Our hearts sank a bit because we were worried about being left behind. But I was not panicking - yet. I kept rowing back even though my friend told me to conserve my energy. I didn’t realize what she meant was to prepare myself in case we had to swim back. And I’m not a great swimmer. All I could think of was coming home to my family. I couldn’t rest, I NEEDED to keep going. During this time, another friend came out with the paddle board and tried to tow us back, but to no avail. Then the kayak guy’s colleague who looks exactly like George Michael came out with another kayak. “NO!” I said, “We need something with an engine!”

I think at this point he came to get our friend on the paddle board and Jack the first kayak guy came out to row with us - I can’t even remember how or when they swapped, in the midst of all that chaos.

But we still couldn’t row back to shore. I initially thought I wasn’t rowing hard enough, but when Jack went “FUCK!!” as the wind kept blowing us out, I knew it wasn’t my non-existent upper body strength that was at fault. Still, I calmly told him “Have faith, bro. Have faith.” In retrospect, he must have thought I was insane. We saw a boat nearby. “HELPPPPPP!!!” we screamed, lifting our oars in the air. The boat started to move toward us, but then went the other way. “Maybe they thought we were just waving” Jack said.

The shore seemed like a distant line in the horizon. Then we saw another boat coming toward us, while a helicopter flew above. About 30 seconds before the boat reached us - our kayak capsized. That’s when the panic started. I told myself it’s ok, you have a lifejacket on, trying to calm myself as best as possible. I resurfaced after a few seconds underwater. “Hold on to the paddle board!” my friend told me, just in time when the boat arrived and threw a rope. “Grab on!” they said, just like in the movies. “This must be how that feels like,” I remember thinking. They pulled me up onto the boat first, then my friend and Jack. In a mix of tears and laughter, I hugged my friend. “I love you so so much” I said. The helicopter saw us being rescued and flew off. I didn’t realize then the boat was not in fact a rescue boat, but just a bunch of guys sailing who happened to have been passing by. When we reached the shore, our other girlfriends were waiting, and we found out that one of them was who called the cops and the helicopter. Thankfully, we didn’t need their service. As we settled on land, another helicopter with a siren flew over. “Is that for us too?” I asked. “Nope” someone replied. “That’s probably a shark sighting.” I was shaking all over. From the cold, from exhaustion but mostly from the reality sinking in of just how bad things could have gone - That boat could have never passed by. A shark could have very well been where we capsized. My phone could have dropped in the ocean. The kayak could have hit me on the head and knocked me out. I could have had a full blown panic attack and not be able to swim back. I can’t imagine the amount of level-headedness my friend had to have while she was stuck out there with me. The other friends who had never paddled so hard in their lives trying to get to us, placing their own lives at risk. Our friends on the shore who must have felt so helpless watching us at sea. It wasn’t until later at night did the sheer gravity of the situation hit me. We could’ve died. I COULD HAVE DIED. And if it wasn’t for every single one of them coming together to rescue us, I may not even be writing this anecdote right now. We were lucky to say the least. Maybe I had a Guardian Angel watching over me - most probably Mama’s spirit screaming “DIDN’T I TELL YOU NOT TO GET IN THE WATER!!”. I’m still dealing with the trauma. I look back and we laugh at escaping the whole thing unscathed, but in truth, we very narrowly avoided a disaster. It was a freak accident, as even Justin said this had never happened before on their calm and quiet beach. There is no amount of gratitude that I could express enough to my girls, to Justin and Jack, to the boat dudes for saving my life. I definitely reevaluated my suicidal thoughts fighting for my life then - and after this, I would never want to take their help, risking their lives for me, for granted. Thank you to all of my heroes that day. Because of you, I am alive.

[anavoliselenu]

Confessed man chapter 12

‘You made me lose control, Selena.’ he huffs down at me. ‘Damn it, woman you f**king send me crazy.’

My arms fall above my head into the wet sand, immediately noting another receding puddle of water, not that my body feels it. I’m scorching hot. ‘You won’t hurt them.’ I insist on a gasp.

He shakes his head, like he’s also all disorientated, before he slides from within me and falls to his forearms, taking my nipple between his lips. I barely register the heat of his mouth locked round me.

‘That feels nice.’ I sigh, finally closing my eyes for a reasonable length of time while he feasts on my br**sts. ‘Just keep doing that.’

‘You taste so good,’ he mumbles, latching onto the area where I know my mark to be and sucking deeply.

I happily leave him to his own devices while I concentrate on stabilising my breathing and racing heartbeat, but I’m still burning up. ‘Take me into the water.’ I pant. ‘I need to cool off.’

He shakes his head and releases my breast to look up at me. ‘No can do, lady.’ He goes back to my chest with no more of an explanation.

‘Why?’ I press.

Each of my ni**les are kissed before he brings his face up close to mine. His eyes are sparkling pools of mischievousness. ‘It might freeze the babies.’

I don’t laugh, but I do grin. ‘It will not!’

My hair is pushed from my face and his hands creep up my arms until his fingers lace through mine above my head. ‘How do you know for sure?’

I lift my head, just to get my lips on him, the crazy, lovable arse. ‘Even if that were true, which it isn’t, right now my current body temperature is off the charts, so I’m probably roasting your babies as we speak.’

He gasps in an obviously dramatic display of horror and jumps up, pulling me to my feet. ‘Fucking hell, lady. We need to cool you off.’ He throws me up onto his shoulder and slaps my arse.

‘Ouch!’ I laugh, delighting in his playfulness. ‘Go slow so I can get used to it.’

‘Oh no.’ He wades in quickly, leaving me fearing the worst. ‘We don’t have time to f**k about. We’re at risk of having a pair of well-done babies.’ He grabs my hips, instigating a yelp and a wriggle, but he has a firm grip of me. I’m held above him with my h*ps resting on his big palms, my hands on his shoulders, and I’m looking down at a crafty face that’s trying to be serious. I’m grinning so much, my cheeks are aching. ‘Hello up there, beautiful girl.’

‘Hi,’ I’m bracing myself. I know what’s coming, or I hope I know what’s coming.

He loses his battle and blisters my skin with his smile, bending his arms and lowering me to plant a hard kiss on my lips. ‘Goodbye my beautiful girl.’ His powerful arms straighten fast, and I’m launched into the black air on a squeal, my legs and arms flailing everywhere in deranged delight. I hit the water, still screaming, but quickly get stifled by the water as I go under. The dull muffle of frantic activity in the water surrounding me is definitely not just my doing, so I kick my legs urgently and work my way to the surface, emerging on a gasp and quickly doing a three sixty turn to look for him. He’s nowhere to be seen and apart from my fitful inhalations, it’s deathly silent. I freeze as best I can, limiting my legs to a calm paddling beneath me. Damn it, where is he? Silent swells of water ripple away from me, and I can’t work out if it’s me causing the stir in the water, or something in the depths below—something tall, lean and beautiful, something that can hold its breath for a bloody long time. I don’t know why, but I hold my breath, too, silently deliberating on my next move. Do I remain still and silent, or do I make a dash for the shore?

Dash, remain, dash, remain.

I release the stored air from my lungs. ‘Shit, shit, shit.’ I’m totally torn, my heart racing as I battle my indecisiveness, but then I hear a splash behind me and with no instruction at all, my legs kick into action. I swim like my life depends on it, like Jaws himself is in pursuit of me. I’m squealing like a girl, too. ‘Oh f**k!’ I yelp, piercing the night time air with my filthy mouth, as my ankle is grasped and I’m pulled under. I’m a rolling mass of wild arms and legs, probably kicking and punching him, but I can’t control it. It serves him right, anyway. My fright has turned into a little anger now, and I’m batting at the hands that are grasping at me. My eyes keep getting attacked with salt every time I attempt to open them, and my lungs are going to explode. And now his head in between my thighs.

I break the surface and immediately release the air in my lungs on a furious shout. ‘Justin!’ I’m on his shoulders being carted out of the sea, his arms locked over my shins on his chest.

‘What’s up, baby?’ He’s not even panting.

‘You!’ My hands smack his head a few times before I swoop down and grab his chin, yanking his head up. ‘Let me see you.’ I spit aggressively.

He laughs. ‘Hello.’

‘You’re a menace.’

He seems to find his feet with no effort, rising from the water like some kind of otherworldly creature. ‘You love me.’ he tells me confidently.

I lean down, but I can’t reach him. ‘I want to kiss you.’ I whine.

‘I know you do.’ In a stealthy set of coordinated moves, I’m whipped from his shoulders and laying across his arms in a nanosecond. ‘And now you can.’

This grin feels like a permanent fixture on my face, and his sparkling eyes are deeply set and showing no sign of fading. We’re so happy. Laidback Justin is full-on and drowning me in lust and roguishness. Central Justin Cloud Nine doesn’t get any better than this.

Chapter 25

I could get so very used to this. I could lay every morning and stretch happily, feel the breeze all over my nakedness and wander out onto the veranda to admire my God from a distance, running the curve of the bay. I could prepare him breakfast, despite the fact that I absolutely hate cooking, and I could sit n**ed at the table while he demolishes it with constant hums of approval around his fork before plunging his finger into a jar of peanut butter, which I’m sure he packed because it’s Sun-Pat. I could open my mouth when instructed so he can feed me, and I could reach over and just stroke his bare, sun kissed chest because I feel like it. I could puddle on the chair when he winks and yanks me over onto his lap to ravish me, and then continue with his breakfast with one hand while he holds me with the other, offering forkfuls of salmon to me. I could slip into my bikini within the privacy of Paradise, receiving no look of horror or demand to put something more substantial on, and go for a swim in the giant freshness of the villa’s pool. I could be pulled out by my hand and dried off, then wrapped up and taken to the shower, where I’m soaped down and served in every shower time way possible. Every shower time way possible… and a little more. I could get very, very used to this.

It’s our last day in Paradise, and I’m feeling a little forlorn. It’s our last day of indulging solely in each other, with none of the distractions or issues that are all currently waiting for us in London. I’m sitting on the bed with tissue wedged between my toes and a bottle of bright pink nail polish in my hand. It’s gone noon. We’ve spent all morning doing all of our normal, and I’m now prepping and preening for an afternoon down at the port and a twilight dinner. I don’t want to go home. I want to stay in Paradise forever, just me and Justin.

‘I thought we agreed no more nail painting and hunting down scarce whiskey?’

I look up, seeing Justin performing the mundane task of rubbing his dirty blonde mass of wet hair with a towel, but it’s not so mundane when Justin is doing it. Nothing this man does is dull or ordinary. I lean back on my pillow and savour the delightful view. He’s naked. I’m dribbling. ‘I need to paint my toenails.’ I shake the bottle and unscrew the lid. ‘It won’t take long, and I don’t need to do my hands.’ I wave my already dried pink fingernails at him.

He saunters over and crawls up the bed until he’s sitting on his knees by my feet. ‘Let me.’ The towel gets laid across his thighs and he takes my foot

in his strong hands.

‘You want to paint my toes?’ I ask, a little amused at my manly husband taking on such a girly task. He flicks me an indifferent look, clearly not bothered to be tending to his wife to this extent.

The nail polish is taken from my hand and my foot positioned on the towel so that he may carry out his self-appointed duty. ‘I may as well get some practice in.’ he informs me, straight-faced and all matter-of-fact. ‘You won’t be able to reach them soon.’

My foot lashes out on reflex, jabbing him straight in his stomach, not that it has the desired effect. He grins down at his lap and re-positions my foot. ‘I don’t want to go home.’ I say quietly.

‘Me either, baby.’ He doesn’t seem shocked to hear it, like he has read my mind, or clearly has been thinking the exact same thing. He gives my big toenail a stroke down the centre with the brush, then one on each side.

‘When can we come back?’ I ask, watching as his concentration frown emerges. It makes me smile, momentarily forgetting my dispiriting thoughts.

‘We can come back whenever you like. Just say the word, and I’ll put you on that plane.’ He wipes across the flesh at the base of my nail and sits back to observe his handiwork. It’s not bad at all, considering his big hands and the tiny brush. He looks up at me. ‘Have you had a nice time?’ he asks on a smile, knowing all too well that I have.

‘Paradise.’ I muse, resting my head back. ‘Continue.’ I nod at my foot in his lap.

His eyes narrow playfully. ‘Yes, my lady.’

‘Good boy,’ I sigh dreamily, relaxing into the pillow. ‘What happens when we get home?’

He continues with the painting of my nails, not giving my question the acknowledgment it deserves. Something needs to be done, preferably by the police, not Steve. While Justin evacuating me from the country was a welcome escape, I also know it was to maintain his sanity. He can’t hide me in Paradise forever, although I know he doesn’t think that his ambitious intention is irrational at all, and if he keeps up this mood and relaxed persona, neither will I.

‘What happens is that you’ll go to work and finally fulfil your promise to enlighten Patrick of Mikael.’ He tosses an expectant look, which I ignore.

‘Do you think Mikael stole your car?’

‘I have no f**king clue, Selena.’ He places my foot down and picks up the other. ‘I’m dealing with it, so don’t worry your pretty little head.’

‘How are you dealing with it?’ I can’t help the question. I really want to know because something tells me that like most of Justin’s ways, it won’t be conventional.

As I knew I would, I get landed with a warning look, and I’m mindful that by pushing this, I may very well get tossed off Central Justin Cloud Nine before we arrive back in London.

I soak up his reproachful look for a few moments, not backing down or wiping the expectant look from my face, and yet I know I won’t be given a satisfying reply. I’ve already quietly accepted that, and I’ve also already mentally agreed not to pursue it. ‘End of.’ he says simply, and I know it really is.

So I relax and let him finish the intricate task of painting my toenails as I silently appreciate both his attentiveness and the fact that he’s scrunched over, leaning down close to carry out his task, yet there is not a roll of fat on that stomach, whatsoever.

‘You’re done.’ he declares, screwing the lid back on. ‘I’m even amazing at this.’ There is no humour in his tone.

I pull my feet up and lean over to take a look, half expecting to see a set of pink coloured feet, but no. Justin is, indeed, amazing at painting toenails as well as everything else, except cooking. ‘Not bad,’ I flip casually, feigning the wiping of some stray polish that isn’t even there.

‘Not bad? I’ve done a better job than you’d ever do, lady.’ He jumps up from the bed. ‘You’re so lucky to have me.’

I scoff. ‘Are you not lucky?’ I ask incredulously. He’s such an arrogant arse.

‘I’m luckier.’ He winks, and I’m speedily dragged from my offended state on a sigh. ‘Come on, lady. Let’s go exploring.’

* * *

We pull off a roundabout and up to a security gate that leads down to a port. Justin lowers his window and flashes a plastic card at a screen and the gate opens instantly, allowing him to drive through. ‘Where are we?’ I ask, edging forward in my seat to look down the road ahead.

‘This is The Port, baby.’ He proceeds at a crawl and turns onto a pedestrianized area, people mechanically moving to make way, not giving the DBS a second glance. I would’ve thought this strange, but I quickly register the dozens of prestigious cars, all parked in bays along the front. And not just the odd Merc or BMW. I’m looking at rows of Bentleys, Ferraris and even another Aston Martin, all screaming billionaires. These people are quite clearly used to ridiculously expensive cars, but my attention is speedily drawn from the row of expensive vehicles when I clock the rows and rows of boats. No, not boats. These are yachts.

‘Fucking hell.’ I whisper as Justin slips into an empty bay and turns the ignition off.

‘Selena! Please, watch your f**king mouth.’ He heaves a tired breath and gets himself out of the car, making his way around to my side. I’m stuck in my seat, astounded by the bright whiteness of many huge floating mountains on the marina. ‘Out you get.’

I absentmindedly eject myself with the assistance of Justin’s hand while keeping my eyes on the boats. I can’t even find words. But then I do. ‘Please don’t tell me you own one of those.’ I look at him with wide eyes. I don’t know why I sound so shocked. This man is beyond wealthy, but a yacht?

He smiles and slips his shades on. ‘No, I sold it many years ago.’

‘So you did have one?’

‘Yes, but I didn’t have a f**king clue how to sail the stupid thing.’ He takes my hand and leads me away from the car, towards a pathway where we’re safe from moving vehicles.

‘Why did you buy it in the first place then?’ I ask, looking up at him, but he just shrugs my question off and points out across the sea.

‘Over there is Morocco.’

I follow the direction of his hand, but all I see is open water. He’s trying to divert my enquiring mind. ‘Lovely,’ I say with lashings of sarcasm, just so he knows that I know his ploy. I’m drawing my own conclusions on Paradise and big yachts, but as I’ve reminded myself before, Justin’s past is exactly that.

‘Sarcasm doesn’t suit you, lady.’ He pulls me under his arm and makes a meal of biting at my ear. ‘What would you like to do?’

‘Let’s mooch about.’

‘Mooch?’

‘Yes, mooch.’ I repeat, looking up at an amused expression. ‘Like browse, peruse, mooch about.’

He smiles down at me, almost fascinated. ‘Okay. I feel another Camden coming on.’

‘Yes, exactly like Camden, but no funny sex shops.’ I finish quietly.

Now he’s laughing. ‘Oh, there are plenty of funny sex shops on the back streets. Want to see?’

‘No, I don’t.’ I grumble, reflecting back to our very own little pole dancing treat by that demented, leather clad, dominatrix type. I inwardly gasp. A Sarah type. Holy shit, she looked just like Sarah, minus the whip, instead playing with a pole. Sarah may very well have a pole, who knows, but my sudden comprehension is overshadowing the similarities of the women. ‘You didn’t find that attractive, did you?’ I don’t need to elaborate. He knows what I’m referring to.

My chin is grasped and pulled to face him. ‘I’ve told you before. There’s only one thing that turns me on, and I love her in lace.’

‘Good.’ I say quietly, because I don’t know what else to say. He’s probably made the Sarah connection, too, and even though Sarah more or less confirmed Justin’s aversion to her leather clad arse, I needed to hear it for myself and from him.

He kisses my forehead and takes a deep breath into my hair. ‘Come on, Mrs Ward. Let’s mooch.’

* * *

I’m thoroughly fed-up of mooching by the time we’re back on the marina front, and I know Justin has humoured me to within an inch of his life, insisting on buying everything that I picked up or looked at in a bid to reduce my browsing time. This wouldn’t have bothered me too much if it wasn’t for the kind of stores in which we were mooching. This is no Camden. Yes, there were a few knickknack stalls, but I was mainly directed into the abundance of designer stores, leaving me feeling a million times more conspicuous than I ever did in Harrods. The quiet, minimal spaces were dressed with just a few key pieces, not leaving much scope for mooching at all. I did see an exquisite tan bag which I braved a touch of, just to feel the softness of the leather, and Justin, of course, took this small motion as an indication of my liking and quickly had it wrapped and bagged. I didn’t try to stop him. I really do love my new bag, so I showed him my gratitude, to which he responded by buying me everything that I looked at throughout the afternoon, each time giving me an expectant look to prompt my thank you.

He’s weighed down with bags now, and God bless him, he looks harassed. ‘I’ll put these in the car. Wait there.’ He leaves me on the side of the pedestrianized area, coating my lips in Chapstick, while he goes over to the car to dump the bags, making his way quickly back over and grabbing me. I stifle a yelp as I’m suspended in his arms and ravished. ‘God, I’ve missed you.’ His mouth slides over my freshly moisturised lips with ease as he takes me for all to see. As always, I’m oblivious to our location and company, letting him do as he pleases with me. ‘Hmm, you taste good.’ He pulls back and pouts, his own lips shimmering slightly from the transfer of my Chapstick.

‘If you want to wear ladies lipstick, then do it properly.’ I reach up to apply, and he does nothing to stop me, even puckering to make the coating easier. ‘Better,’ I conclude on a smile. ‘You’re even more handsome with shimmery lips.’

‘Probably.’ he agrees, with complete ease, smacking his lips together. ‘Come on, I need to feed my wife and peanuts.’ He returns me to a vertical position and starts to reposition the slipping straps of my little yellow sundress. ‘These need tightening.’

Shrugging his fussing hands away, I lead on, pulling my own straps into place and disregarding the grunts of protest coming from behind me. ‘Where are you feeding me?’ I ask over my shoulder, keeping up my stride. I’m not striding for long, though. My wrist is seized, and I’m suddenly pulling against a dead weight.

‘Don’t walk away from me,’ he practically growls, spinning me around to face him. He’s scowling, while I’m grinning. ‘And you can wipe that grin off your face.’ He proceeds to tighten my straps, muttering some rubbish about an insufferable wife, who drives him f**king crazy. ‘Better. Where are all the clothes I bought you?’

‘At home.’ I answer curtly, not that any were suitable for a holiday in the sun. I wasn’t exactly given time to go holiday shopping, so I made do with my holiday wardrobe from a few years ago. I was early twenties then, and these clothes he keeps moaning about reflect it.

He takes a deep breath of patience. ‘Why do you insist on being so difficult?’

‘Because I know it drives you crazy.’

‘You just enjoy reducing me to a crazy madman.’

‘You make yourself a crazy madman.’ I laugh. ‘You need no help in that department, Justin. I’ve told you before; you do not dictate my wardrobe.’

His eyes burn with green displeasure, but I don’t shy away from his hulking, fierceness. I’m really rather brave. ‘You drive me crazy.’ he repeats, because he doesn’t know what else he can say.

‘What are you going to do?’ I ask smugly. ‘Divorce me?’

‘Watch your f**king mouth!’

‘I didn’t even swear!’ I’m really laughing now.

‘Yes, you f**king did! The worse word, in fact. I forbid you to say it.’

Oh, now I’ve really got the chuckles. ‘You forbid me?’

His arms fold over his chest in an act of authority, like I’m a bloody child. ‘Yes, I forbid you.’

‘Divorce.’ I whisper.

‘Now you’re just being childish.’ he huffs, just like a child.

‘-ish.’ I shrug. ‘Feed me.’

He scoffs loudly and shakes his head. ‘I should f**king starve you and reward you with food when you do what you’re f**king told.’ My shoulders are clenched, I’m turned around and then guided towards a sea-front restaurant. ‘I’ll feed you here.’

We’re shown to a table for two on the outside terrace and settled by a happy Spanish man with slicked black hair and a moustache to match. ‘Drinks?’ he asks in a thick Spanish accent.

‘Water, thank you.’ Justin sits me down and tucks me under the table before taking a seat opposite and passing me a menu. ‘The Tapas are sublime.’

‘You pick.’ I hand the menu back over the table. ‘I’m sure you’ll make a suitable choice.’ My eyebrows are raised cheekily, and the menu is taken from my hand thoughtfully, but with no scorn or reproving look.

‘Thank you.’ he says slowly.

‘You’re welcome,’ I counter, pouring us a glass of water each when the waiter places an ice cold jug on the table. It’s muggy and my thirst has hit hard at the sight of water trickling down the side of the glass pitcher. I down the whole glass in one foul swoop and immediately pour another.

‘Thirsty?’ he watches in astonishment as I make quick work of the second glass, nodding over the rim. ‘Be careful.’ he warns. I’m frowning over the rim, but unable to stop gulping the icy liquid. ‘You might drown the babies.’

I cough a little on a laugh and place my water down to grab a napkin. ‘Will you stop with that?’

‘What? I’m just showing some fatherly concern.’ He looks hurt, but I know better.

‘You don’t think I can look after our babies, do you?’

‘Yes I do.’ he retorts softly, with absolutely zero conviction. He really doesn’t. I’m shocked, and my face probably shows it, even if he’s refusing to meet my eyes so he can see for himself.

‘What the hell do you think I’m going to do?’ I regret the question the second it falls from my mouth, even more so when his head snaps up and I’m hit with a sceptical look. ‘Don’t’ I warn, my voice cracking and tears of regret immediately burning the back of my eyes. I work hard to blink them back, mentally beating myself up for my cold hearted thoughts. I feel terrible enough all on my own, without Justin enflaming the guilt.

I’m looking anywhere and everywhere, except at Justin because to look at his face right now will remind me of the dark place I need to forget. I don’t blame him for doubting my capabilities, I’m pretty doubtful myself, but I have him, as he keeps reminding me.

He’s sitting next to me in a heartbeat and pulling me into his side, stroking my back and burying his mouth into hair. ‘I’m sorry. Don’t get upset, please.’

‘I’m okay,’ I brush his concern away. It’s plain to see that I’m not okay, but I can’t lose control of my emotions in the middle of a restaurant for all to see. I’m already being stared at by a woman a few tables away. I’m in no mood for nosey parkers, so I flip her a look before pulling out of Justin’s chest. ‘I said I’m fine.’ I snap shortly, picking my glass up, just for something to do other than cry.

‘Selena.’ he says quietly, but I can’t look at him. I can’t look into the eyes of the man I love when I know he’ll be showing utter contempt for me. Will he ever let me forget this? ‘Look at me,’ He sounds harsher, firmer now, but I disobey, noticing that bloody woman still staring. I meet her eyes, enhancing my f**k off look, which quickly prompts her to return to her dinner. ‘Three,’

I actually roll my eyes, but not because he’s started the countdown. No, it’s because I know I won’t be getting any Justin style f**k or trample when he reaches zero.

‘Two,’

It’s like he’s dangling a carrot that I’m never going to get a bite of. Stupid, I know, but the need for Justin and all of his talent for f**king me into submission has become engrained in me, pregnancy only seeming to enhance my desire for it.

‘One,’

I exhale tiredly and start fiddling with my fork, refusing to submit, probably only shortening his fuse.

‘Zero, baby.’ I’m snatched from my chair before my brain filters the final call of the countdown, and I’m on the floor, wrists pinned above my head and Justin straddling my waist. My eyes are wide and the restaurant is silent. You could hear a pin drop. I’m staring up at Justin, who is unashamed and most unconcerned by our surroundings. He’s got me sprawled on the floor in a restaurant. What the f**king hell is he playing at? I dare not even look away from him. I can feel a million sets of shocked eyes drilling into the spectacle Justin has created. I’m mortified.

‘Justin, let me up.’ I wouldn’t put much past him, but this? This is way past unashamed. Fucking hell, what if someone tries to pull him off me?

‘I did warn you, baby.’ His face is awash with amusement, while I’m simply horrified. ‘Wherever, whenever.’

‘Yes, okay.’ I wriggle. ‘You’ve made your point.’

‘I don’t think I have.’ he says casually, making himself comfortable, suspending his face over mine. ‘I love you.’

I want the ground to swallow me up whole. Ravishing me and kissing the living daylights out of me on a busy street is one thing. Pinning me to the floor in a busy restaurant is insane. ‘I know, let me up.’

‘No,’

Oh God, I can’t even hear the chinking of knives and forks, which tells me all eating has halted. ‘Please,’ I beg quietly.

‘Tell me you love me.’

‘I love you,’ I grate the words through my teeth.

‘Say it like you mean it, Selena.’ He’s not going to give up, not until I follow through on his stupid, unreasonable order to his satisfaction.

‘I love you.’ I sound softer, but still uneasy.

He eyes me suspiciously, but what the hell does he expect? I’m beyond relieved when he shifts and pulls me to my feet, choosing to remain on his knees in front of me. I take my time straightening myself out, anything to avoid facing the masses of diners, who are undoubtedly looking on in shock. After I’ve spent much more time than is really necessary brushing myself down, I chance a quick look around the restaurant, then proceed to die a thousand deaths on the spot. I’m tempted to run for it, but I notice Justin still on his knees in front of me.

‘Get up.’ I say on a hushed whisper, despite the obviousness of being heard. It’s still eerily silent.

He walks forward on his knees until he’s flush with the front on my legs, and then slides his hands around to my arse, looking up at me with puppy dog eyes. ‘Selena Ward, my beautiful, defiant girl.’ My face is heating further by the second. ‘You make me the happiest man on this f**king planet. You married me, and now you’re blessing me with twin babies.’ He slips a hand from my arse and onto my tummy, circling adoringly before dropping a kiss in the centre. There’s definitely a few sighs from our spectators. ‘I love you so f**king much. You’re going to be an incredible mummy to my babies.’ I can do nothing more than stare down at him as he makes his public declaration, the embarrassing fool. And there are more sighs. He kisses his way up my body until he’s in my neck. ‘Don’t try to stop me from loving you. It makes me sad.’

‘Sad or crazy?’ I ask quietly.

He emerges from his hiding place in my neck and gathers my hair, draping it down my back before cupping both of my cheeks in my palms. ‘Sad.’ he affirms. ‘Kiss me, wife.’

I’m not up for any further embarrassment, so I conform and give him exactly what he wants. This way I get to escape sooner. But then clapping starts, and I’m soon missing Justin’s lips on mine as he takes a bow and sits me back down. We’re staying?

‘I love her.’ He shrugs, like that explains why he has just manhandled me to the floor and demanded a declaration of love, before announcing to a bunch of strangers that we’re expecting twins.

‘Twins!’

I jump at the excited, broken English of the waiter, who waves a bottle of champagne in front of us. ‘You must celebrate.’ He pops the cork and pours two glasses. I cringe. It’s very thoughtful, but there’s no way either of us are drinking it.

‘Thank you,’ I smile up at him, praying he doesn’t hang around to watch us clink glasses and swig. ‘That’s very kind.’ He must hear my mental plea or see my distressed face because he backs away, leaving me assessing the surroundings. People have returned to their meals, some flicking fond looks every so often, but the interest seems to have died down. That woman is still staring, though. I frown at her, but I’m distracted when Justin’s hand lands on my knee. I turn and find a face full of mischievousness. Yes, he’s demonstrated his point loud and clear, and for everyone to see.

‘I cannot believe you did that.’

‘Why?’ He pushes the champagne flutes away from us.

I’m about to argue my case, but I can feel eyes on me again, and I know who it is. I turn slowly, finding her staring again. She’s quite a few tables away, and there are masses of people between us, but a small gap in the crowd is giving me a clear view, and it’s obviously giving her one, too, because she’s making the most of it. ‘Do you know that woman?’ I ask, keeping my eyes on her, even though she’s returned to her meal.

‘What woman?’ Justin asks, leaning over me to see where my gaze is directed.

‘There, the women with the pale blue cardigan.’ I almost point across the restaurant, but quickly rein in my lifting hand. ‘Can you see?’

After what seems like forever has passed and he still hasn’t answered me, I turn and watch as the colour drains from his face, leaving a pasty shocked one in place of the tanned content one.

‘What’s the matter?’ I instinctively slap my hand on his forehead to gage his temperature, noting with just a second’s touch that he’s stone cold. ‘Justin?’ He’s staring blankly past me in a complete trance. I’m worried. ‘Justin, what’s wrong?’

He shakes his head, like he’s shaking off a concussion, and turns haunted eyes onto me. I can see that he’s trying to look okay, but my husband is failing miserably. There’s something seriously wrong. ‘We’re leaving.’ He stands, knocking a glass over, attracting a little bit more attention. Throwing a pile of notes on the table, he wastes no time lifting my perplexed arse from the chair and leading me out of the restaurant.

He strides with complete purpose towards the car, virtually pulling me along behind him. ‘What is wrong with you?’ I try again, but I know it’s in vain. He has completely shut down.

The car door is opened, and I look up at him as he starts to guide me in, but I get nothing. No acknowledgment, no expression, no explanation. I do notice his shoulder tense and rise, though, and his chest is beginning to heave. He’s looking past me, yet still trying to push me into the car.

‘Justin?’ The unfamiliar female voice pulls my attention away from my spaced out husband and to a women behind me. The woman. I stare at her in confusion, feeling Justin’s hand grip me tighter. I can hear his breathing now, too. I’m completely bewildered, but I still manage to take her in, running my eyes up and down this stranger who has spent the best part of her time in the seafront eatery staring at me, or Justin, or us. I’m not sure. But the longer I’m looking at her, the clearer it’s all becoming.

Justin tries to reposition me to get me in the car, but I shrug him off, too intrigued by who I’m looking at. ‘Selena, baby, we’re going.’ He’s not demanding or shouting at me impatiently, despite my defiance. It makes me want to cry.

‘Justin, son.’ The women steps forward and my fears are confirmed.

‘You don’t get to call me that.’ Justin says tightly. ‘Selena, get in the car.’

I get in. That was all the confirmation I needed. I don’t need to hear anything else, no shouting matches or explanations. That’s Justin’s mum. I shift my body in the seat and watch him make his way around the back of the car, feeling concerned when I see his mum hurry past the front to intercept him. I watch as she places a hand on his arm and he shrugs it off, I hear as she pleads for a chance to talk, and then I see as she presses her body up against the driver’s door to prevent him from accessing the car. His hands fly to his hair and yank, the pain on his face breaking my heart. He won’t physically remove his mother, which leaves him out there vulnerable. I can’t just sit here and watch him struggle like this, so I get out and make my way around to Justin and his mother, with nothing but determination coursing through me.

I stand in front of Justin, like a protective shield, and look her square in the eye. ‘Please, I’m asking you to move.’

He leans over me. ‘You shouldn’t be here. Why are you here?’ Justin’s voice is broken and shaky, as is his body. I can feel the vibrations seeping into my back. ‘It’s Amalie’s wedding weekend in Seville. Why are you here?’

Realisation dawns. I didn’t read far enough into the invite to note a date or location, but Justin obviously did. Why else would he bring me here, unless he knew his parents would be gone? But they are here. And it’s sent Justin spiralling into turmoil.

‘It’s your father,’ she begins. ‘The wedding, it got postponed because your father had a heart attack. Amalie tried to get in touch after you never replied to her wedding invite.’

Justin’s chest presses into mine, and I know he’s going to speak, which is good because I can think of nothing to say. I’m struck dumb. This is information overload. ‘So tell me why Amalie tried to contact me? Why not you?’

‘I thought you would answer your sister.’ she replies quickly. ‘I was hoping you would answer you sister’s calls.’

‘Well you were wrong!’ he roars over my shoulder, making me wince. ‘You don’t get to do this to me. No more, Mum. Your influence already f**ked my life up, and now I’m making it right all on my own!’

She flinches, but she doesn’t defend herself. Her green eyes—just like Justin’s—are all clouded and desperate. So many thoughts are racing through my brain, but my priority is Justin and his obvious distress.

‘Twins,’ his mom whispers, reaching forward with her hand.

I freeze. I can’t move. Her eyes are studying my stomach, and I see pain etched all over her wrinkled face. I’m pulled back, just avoiding a skimming of her hand on my tummy. It snaps me from my daze and makes me reassess the situation. It doesn’t take long. I need to get Justin away.

‘Selena,’ His voice has softened in my ear. ‘Please, get me out of here.’

My heart splits straight down the middle. ‘I’m asking you nicely.’ I look at his mother, whose eyes are still focused on my midriff. ‘Please move.’

‘It’s another chance, Justin.’ She’s sobbing now, but I don’t feel any sympathy for her. Justin doesn’t speak. He remains still and quiet behind me. I think he might have fallen into a trance, and I’m not at all surprised. Those few words have only heightened my determination and turned my building tears into pure anger. I can’t lash out at his mother, though.

I turn and slide my hand onto Justin’s arm. ‘Come on,’ I say softly, tugging at his arm. He lets me take him. I’m guiding him for once, and I make fast work of it. I’m determined to remove my husband from this situation which is causing him anguish. I’ve only ever seen him like this a handful of times and every one of those times has ended in heartache. I’m not prepared to set him or myself up for any further difficulties in our relationship.

I open the passenger door and gently guide him in, while he stares blankly at the thin air in front of him. I’m more than relieved when I see Justin’s mum come around the front of the car because it means I can hurry around the back and jump in the driver’s seat. The first thing I do is locate the door locks and flick the switch before I search Justin for the keys. I’ve never driven on the wrong side of the road before, or on the wrong side of the car, but now is not the time to get myself in a panic over something so trivial. I start the DBS up and barely look behind me as I reverse carelessly out of the space before whacking it into first and pulling away a little more cautiously. I chance a look in the rear view mirror and see a man taking Justin’s mum in his arms. His dad.

My eyes do a quick check of the road ahead, noting the exit gates, but I don’t have a chance to panic about finding the card that will open them. They shift automatically and I’m getting further away from Justin’s parents by the second. I glance at him, and I don’t like what I see—a troubled man, staring blankly out of the window, showing no emotion. If he was angry I would feel better, but he’s not. The only familiarity is the deep crevice across his brow and the cogs of his complex mind spinning out of control. Strangely, these little traits offer me some comfort. What he could be thinking about, however, does not.

Another chance? That’s what she said. I can’t blame Justin for his meltdown, not when his mother has just suggested that everything can be righted by the birth of his own twins. That’s cruel and selfish, and it will never make up for the years of sorrow and betrayal that have come before.

These babies and I are Justin’s chance at happiness, not his parent’s opportunity to right all of their wrongs. If she intends on using my babies as some sort of family therapy, then she can think again.

* * *

I have no idea where I’m going, but I just about manage to coax directions from Justin. The familiar fragrance of Paradise finally has me relaxing completely as I make my way up the cobbled driveway to the villa. He gets out of the car and strides towards the veranda, leaving me to follow tentatively behind. I don’t know what to do. I know we won’t be talking, so I need to do what instinct is telling me and that’s to just be there for him. Not fish for information to ease my own inquisitive mind, or stamp my feet and demand answers. I already know what I need to. I know Justin’s parents have influenced his life too much. Now he’s making it right all on his own, just like he said, and I need to let him do that.

Following him into the villa, I find him standing in the middle of the room. I’m quiet as I approach behind him, but he doesn’t flinch when I slide my hand into his. He knew I was close, as he always does. I lead him into the bedroom and start to unbutton his shirt. There is no sexual tension ricocheting between us, or heavy desperate breaths. I’m just looking after him.

His head is dropped, he’s completely despondent, but he lets me undress him until he’s standing before me n**ed and quiet. I go to direct him to the bed, but he stands firm and turns me back towards him, then sets about unzipping my dress and pulling it over my head, encouraging me to lift my arms. I let him do his thing, anything to drag him from his melancholy state. I stand quietly while he sees through his task, unhooking my bra before kneeling and taking my knickers down my legs. I’m lifted to his body, my legs finding their place around his hips, and he positions himself on the bed, back against the headboard so I’m sitting on his lap, pressed against his chest. He’s not prepared to have any space between us, which is fine by me. His arms are completely encasing me, his nose is in my hair and his heartbeat is slow and steady under my ear. This is all I can do, and if need be, I’ll do it until the day I die.

Chapter 26

I feel different this morning. I’m on my back, but I’m not sprawled across the bed with a light breeze tickling my n**ed skin, and I’m unable to stretch. It takes a few seconds to register why. It’s because I’m cocooned beneath Justin, who is half laying on me, half off, so he isn’t putting pressure on my tummy. His face is nuzzled in the space between my jaw and my shoulder, his palm is flat on my abdomen and his hot, minty breath is heating my neck. Why isn’t he out running? My rousing brain is a little confused, but not for long. It speedily kicks into gear, reminding me of the events of last night, the pain, the anguish and the shock. Paradise was turned upside down. His parents now know about me, and after Justin’s little trampling mission in the restaurant, they also know that he has twins on the way.

My fingers slip into his hair as I gaze up at the ceiling and massage gently. I don’t want to think about this. I don’t want to delve deep, and I really don’t think I need to. All I need to do is be here, listen when he wants to speak, and hold him when he needs some comfort. His pained face has brought back a whole black past of memories between us—the moment we were standing in Kate’s lounge and he begged me not to leave him, the time I left him drunk at Lusso, and the moment I found him in his office with a whip wielding Sarah. All of those incidents lead to further excruciating pain, and I need to avoid any repeat at all costs. And I will. This man has a troubled history, but I’m fixing all of that hurt and suffering. It’s no wonder he wants to keep me from it all. I’m his little piece of heaven, and I’ll never allow him to fall back into his hellish, hollow past.

As I lay giving myself a little mental pep talk, I know he’s awake. I feel the slight flicker of his long lashes against my neck, but I remain quiet, allowing him to have his thinking space, my fingers keeping up the gentle twisting of his hair and the odd massage of his head. He would know I’m awake, even if I wasn’t moving.

‘I would never have brought you here if I’d have known.’ His raspy voice breaks the silence. ‘I never wanted my life with you to be stained by my past.’

Our lives have been tarnished by his past in many ways, and I know he never wanted any of it to affect us. But it has. And now this might, too, if he allows it. ‘It hasn’t affected us.’ I assure him. ‘So please don’t let it.’

‘They have no place in my life, Selena. Not before, and even less now.’ His hand starts a slow movement across my stomach.

I know why he’s saying this. His babies will not replace Jake. They will not ease Justin’s parent’s guilt. And I know for sure they’ll never be reason for reconciliation. Some things are unforgivable, and your mum and dad doing anything other than loving and supporting you are just a few of them. My dad has always said that he could never tell me what to do, only advise me. He has said he would never force my hand in anything, knowing it would make me unhappy. He said he would always be there, despite my choices and he would make things better if it was the wrong choice. And he did. Many times. Not for such extreme things as I know Justin’s choices have entailed, but the principle is still the same. That’s what parents do. They don’t influence their children for their own benefit. My compassion is fierce. Justin has always said that I’m all he needs, and I know he wholeheartedly means it. And it’s completely understandable, given what this man has been through, not just the history of women and drink, but with his parents. That is the root cause of everything.

‘You don’t need to explain anything to me. You and me.’ I repeat his words to enforce my own.

He rolls onto his back and pulls at me, encouraging me to crawl onto his chest. I find my way and start my slow, light trailing of his scar. ‘This place was Carmichael’s.’ he says quietly. ‘It was part of his estate, as was the boat.’

‘I know.’ I smile to myself. I was right on the money with my own private conclusion.

‘How did you know?’

‘Why else would you have a villa so close to where your parents live?’

I can’t see him, but I know he’s smiling. ‘My beautiful girl is frightening me.’

‘Why?’ I ask, frowning into his chest.

‘Because she’s usually so demanding for information.’

I have to agree, but I’ve found out more since I convinced myself to keep my trap shut than I ever did when I was stamping and screaming. ‘There can’t be anything else you could tell me that would convince me to run away from you again.’

‘I’m glad you’ve said that.’ he says quietly.

If there was anything he could say that would make me stiffen and wish I could retract my words, then that would be it. Instinctively I know I’m not going to like what I will hear. It’s like I’m unintentionally pulling confessions from this man.

‘Selena?’ he says quietly.

‘What?’

‘I need to tell you something.’ He goes to move, but I make myself a dead weight, ensuring optimum difficulty for him, not that it makes a blind bit of difference. I’m removed from his chest with minimal effort and turned onto my back. He straddles my waist, but doesn’t rest himself fully on me. He chews his lip for a few moments while I look up at him, a sceptical expression plastered all over my face. I know knowledge is power is the sensible option, but given what Justin has presented me in the knowledge department, it scares the f**king life out of me.

He takes my hands and holds them tightly. ‘I’ve had Sarah at The Manor while we’ve been gone.’

‘WHAT?’ My head lifts and my throat is instantly hoarse.

‘She’s dealing with things while I’m gone. John can’t do it on his own, Selena.’

‘But Sarah? You said she was gone, end of!’ I’m livid. My blood is instantly boiling and it’s heating my face, all thoughts of absconded parents and painful histories eradicated at the mention of her name. ‘Why after everything she’s done would you allow that?’ I snatch my hands from his and try to push him way. ‘Get off!’

‘Selena, will you calm down! ‘

‘Why? Worried I might injure your babies?’ I spit at him.

Those words just changed his concerned look to one of displeasure. He’s scowling at me, but I couldn’t give a toss. ‘Don’t talk f**king shit.’ He manages to seize my flailing hands and secure them above my head.

‘You think it.’ I yell in his face. ‘Your constant monitoring and over-protectiveness tells me all I need to know.’

‘I’ve always been overprotective, so don’t brandish that card, lady!’

He’s right, he has, but I’m pissed and I’ll use anything against him, which reminds me that we’ve steered off course a bit. ‘She goes, or I do!’

He actually rolls his eyes. I don’t appreciate it. I buck myself, and he releases me, but it’s because he doesn’t want me to hurt his babies. It makes me madder. ‘Selena, I was in a mess, you refuse to work for me, and I need someone who knows what they’re doing.’

I stop and swing round. ‘So she’s working for you again?’ I don’t believe this. Her compassionate little speech at the coffee house stood for shit. She’s probably delighting in this. He gets up and walks towards me. ‘Stop where you are, Ward!’ I point my finger in his face. ‘Don’t try to placate me or convince me that this is all fine because it f**king isn’t!’

‘Watch you f**king mouth!’

‘No! She’s in love with you. Do you know that? Everything she has done really is because she wants to take you away from me, so don’t even think about trying to convince me that this is a good idea.’

‘I know,’

I snap my mouth shut and retreat back a little. ‘What do you mean, you know?’

‘I know she’s in love with me.’

‘You do?’

‘Of course I do, Selena. I’m not f**king stupid.’

I scoff. ‘You obviously are! You’ll trample anyone who tries to take me away from you, yet right under your nose, she’s doing the best job and you’re choosing to ignore it!’ I swing around and stamp my way into the kitchen. I need some water to sooth my scratchy throat.

‘I didn’t just let it go unsaid, Selena. I had it out with her and she admitted and regretted it all.’

‘Of course she regrets it. She failed! She’s probably regretting not doing a better job.’ I slam my glass down on the worktop. ‘And you may as well have let it go unsaid. Did you offer burial or cremation?’

His face screws up. ‘What?’

‘The usual option you give people who hurt me. Did you offer it to Sarah?’

‘No, I offered her a job in return for her word that she’ll never interfere again. I told her that if you say so, she’s out.’

‘I say so!’ I shout. ‘I say she’s out!’

‘But she hasn’t done anything.’

I look at the thick skinned idiot across the worktop in disbelieve. ‘She’s not done anything?’

His eyes close and he exhales long and wearily. ‘I mean she’s not done anything since I reinstated her. And you rewarded her with a tidy crack to the jaw for the stuff that came before.’

‘Why are you doing this? You know how I feel, Justin.’

‘Because she’s desperate, Selena. She has no life past The Manor.’

‘You feel sorry for her?’ I ask more calmly. I love everything about this man, except his sudden empathy for all of these historical women who are trying to sabotage our relationship. Look what he did to Matt, for Christ’s sake.

‘Selena, first of all, I want you to calm down because it’s not good for you or the babies.’

‘I am calm!’ I screech, lifting my glass with wobbly hands. I’m far from calm.

He sighs and cocks his head to crack his neck, almost like he’s alleviating some stress. I have no idea what he’s so stressed about. Let me tell him that I’ll continue to work for Mikael and see what reaction that sparks. It’s the same principle, kind of.

He walks over to me, takes the glass from my hand and picks me up, placing me on the worktop. My jaw is seized and pulled up to meet his face. I maintain my scowl, looking at him through pissed off eyes.

‘Sarah has nothing. I kicked her out when she came clean, and thought no more of it.’ He takes a deep breath. ‘Until John spoke with her and she was saying all kinds of f**ked up shit, the most worrying part mentioning death being better than living her life without me.’

My suspicious mind instantly makes me think that it’s another ploy to nab him. I can’t help it. ‘Attention seeker.’ I snipe, still scowling. Her past actions are a clear indication to what lengths she’ll go to.

‘I thought so, too, but John wasn’t so sure. He found her. She’d slashed her wrists and taken a pile of pain killers.’ He raises his eyebrows as I recoil. ‘It was no cry for help, Selena. There was no attention seeking about it. John only just got her to the hospital in time. She wanted to die.’

My brain is failing me on all counts. There are plenty of sensible questions that I should be asking, but nothing is coming to me. I’m blank.

‘I don’t want another death on my conscience, baby. I live with Jake’s every single day. I can’t do it.’

I choke on sympathy. ‘She came to see me.’ I say. I don’t know where it comes from.

‘She told me.’ He reaches up and cups my cheek. ‘But I’m surprised you never mentioned this before.’

What can I say? That Sarah’s words were, in fact, the reason for my clarity? That she was the reason I turned up at The Manor in such a state? ‘I didn’t think it was important.’ I answer feebly. Does he know exactly when Sarah paid me a visit, because if he does, then surely he’ll know that a couple of hours later, I was a deranged wreck, desperate to see him.

‘It was Sarah who told Matt about my drinking.’ He starts biting his lip.

I recoil further, and his hand drops from my face. That’s how Matt found out? ‘Is that how you knew I was collecting my clothes from Matt’s too?’

He nods. ‘She said she’d overheard you on the phone, telling someone you were intending to pick your stuff up. I was too mad to piece it together. I saw red, acted on impulse and asked questions later.’

So her list of misdemeanours goes further. I desperately do not want to feel sorry for her. ‘She said she couldn’t work for you anymore.’ I remind him. ‘So how come she is?’

‘I asked her. I’ll never find someone else to do the job, which means I’ll have to do it, and I’m not prepared to give up my time with you. And you should know, she only accepted on the condition that you were okay with it.’

If I’m okay with it? That makes me feel like total shit. So the future of Sarah has been placed in my hands? If I say no, will she try to top herself again? And if I agree, will I be facing another round of Sarah trying to split us up? ‘You’re not giving me much of a choice.’ I mutter. I’m trying and failing to be logical here. I don’t want to lose Justin to The Manor’s demands at the best of times, not least to piles of paperwork that will stress him out. I’ll never see him, but if I accept this, then I’m accepting what she has done to us, and I don’t think I can do that, not even when she’s tried to kill herself. But Justin’s words keep running on repeat in my head.

I live with Jake’s every single day. I can’t do it.

And I can’t do it to him, just because of my insecurities regarding The Manor’s resident Indiana Jones. My anxieties are justified, but Justin’s guilt isn’t, and I can’t put him through any more than he’s already dealt with. It would be cruel and selfish. I love him too much.

He re-cups my cheeks and pierces me with green eyes full of sincerity. ‘I’ll tell her it’s a no go. I’m not prepared to see you so unhappy.’

I crumble on the inside. He’s prepared to live with the potential of further blood on his hands, even though none of this is his fault, just to keep me happy? I shake my head in his grasp. ‘No, I want you with me more than I want her gone.’

‘You do?’ He sounds surprised.

‘Of course I do, but you have to promise me something.’

‘Anything, you know that.’ He kisses my forehead.

This is not strictly true because he wouldn’t ask this of me. I’m trying to disregard the mitigating circumstances, but it’s hard to ignore a woman who’s attempted suicide because my husband doesn’t want her. ‘When the babies arrive, you won’t be at The Manor day and night. You’ll be with me as often as you can. I don’t know if I can do this.’ The fear of being alone with twins is scaring me. I don’t care that I’ve just admitted it. One baby was frightening enough. Two babies? I’m terrified, and he needs to know.

His lips curve at the edges. He finds my panic funny? ‘Selena, you’ll have to bury me six feet under before I have it any other way. You can do it because you have me.’ He wraps me in his arms and pulls me off the counter so I’m left little choice but to cling onto him with my legs around his n**ed h*ps and my arms around his n**ed shoulders. ‘We’re going to be okay.’

‘I know.’ I admit. I’m feeling needy, like I’m seeking constant reassurance. He’ll always give it to me, but he must be slightly concerned by my anxiousness. I’m hardly showing any motherly tendencies. Shouldn’t it be the woman reading the books and buying folic acid?

‘Let’s not fight. It makes my heart split in pain, and I don’t want you stressing out. We have to watch your blood pressure.’ He starts pacing back towards the bedroom.

I link my fingers at the nape of his neck and lean back so I can see him. ‘I’m confiscating that book.’

He grins at me. ‘That’s my book, and I’m keeping it.’

‘We need to make friends.’ I straighten my back, pulling my body into his so my nipple is at his mouth. ‘Did you read the part of the book that says a husband should service his wife as she demands?’

He bites down gently and swirls his tongue in a deliciously slow rotation, spiking a moan from me and a chuckle from him. ‘I did, but our plane is scheduled for take-off in two hours. I need more time, so I’ll service you in the tub when we get home. Deal?’

‘No deal.’ I retort, thrusting my chest to his mouth again. ‘I want to stay in Paradise.’

‘You’re incorrigible, and I love it.’ I’m lowered to the bed on a disgusted snort. ‘But we need to catch that flight.’

‘I need you.’ I grasp his c**k loosely, teasingly, and he jumps away.

‘Selena, when I have you, I like to take my time.’ He plants a chaste kiss on my lips. ‘Pack.’

I flop back on the bed in complete pregnancy fuelled exasperation. My time in Paradise is up.

Chapter 27

I’m barely functioning by the time we pull up at Lusso. I’ve slept for the best part of the journey, and I’m still beat. I don’t even attempt to get out of the car when the ignition is switched off and Justin unclips my seatbelt for me. I stay sunken in the leather until I’m physically removed. I just about manage to rip my eyes open when we’re in the elevator, just so I can refresh my sleepy mind of his beauty. He negotiates the locks, kicks the door open and closed again, and carries me up the stairs. My eyes are still closed, but I recognise the familiar, squidgy surface of the master-suite’s bed when I’m placed on it.

‘I’ll start the bath and get the cases. Will you be okay?’

‘Hmmm.’ I roll onto my side. I can’t even be bothered to have a bath with Justin, and that is unheard of. I hear him laugh lightly and the running of water from the en-suite, and then he’s picking me up again. ‘I thought you were getting the cases.’ I mumble.

‘I already did, Selena. You drifted off again.’ He places me on my tired feet and strips me down, before unclothing himself with one hand while holding me steady with the other, like he thinks I could collapse. I think I really could. I have zero energy.

I’m lifted from my feet and sunk into the bath with him, and I don’t help at all. I let him position me so I’m cradled in his arms on his lap, the side of my face settled snuggly on his shoulder. The hot water is doing nothing to wake me up.

‘I’ve missed this.’ My self-professed tub man says quietly. ‘I know you’re tired, but I just want a few minutes.’

‘Okay.’ I agree. As long as he dries me off and puts me to bed afterwards, then he can do what he likes with me.

‘And I need to service you.’ he adds. My sleepy eyes snap right open, and my lusty brain quickly engages. I can definitely find the energy from somewhere for that. I go to shift, but I’m held in place as he laughs. ‘Jesus, Selena. You f**king would as well, wouldn’t you?’

‘Always.’

‘I’m touched, but I like my wife conscious when I f**k her.’

‘Don’t say the word f**k.’ I grumble. ‘That’ll just make me want you more.’

‘Is that even possible?’ he asks seriously.

‘Probably not.’ I don’t bother scoffing at his arrogance. He’s right. ‘Let me see you.’ I complain, wriggling from his iron grip. I haul my exhausted body up and straddle his lap, reaching up to feel his nearly two days’ worth of stubble. ‘Don’t shave tomorrow.’

ching {=6t*

[ctmurr-blog]

From left to right

Ilustrísimo Señor Vincent William Griffo, Reverendísimo Don Carlo Murr-Létourneau y el Excelentísimo Embajador de Chilanguera, Señor Pirin "Raul" Dingas.

EULOGY FOR A FRIEND AND BROTHER

VINCENT WILLIAM GRIFFO, Requiescat In Pace

While all are welcome to read this eulogy to my beloved friend and brother, Vincent W. Griffo, my words are especially directed to the hundreds of young (and not so young) men and women, whose childhood home was Villa Francisco Javier Orphanage.

I met Vincent W. Griffo in July of 1982. Monseigneur Edward Melton, of loving memory, asked me to help out at Saint Agnes Cathedral (Rockville Centre, New York), while he and the other priests were away for summer vacations. I agreed on one condition: that he find 24 families willing to take 24 of my children for the summer. A week later he phoned me to say that, through the invaluable efforts of Dominican Sisters Josephine and Justine and a wonderful young couple, Joe and Linda Bertonetti, families had been found to host my kids. In a 15 passenger Dodge van, I drove 24 excited, yet unbelievably well-behaved children, ages 4 to 14, from central Mexico to the “Isle of Long”. It took a week.

When finally we arrived at Saint Agnes Cathedral and the kids left with their new families for six weeks, I sat down at the rectory dining room table, exhausted, for a well-deserved cup of mocha java.

I had less than $50.00 to my name at the moment; the van had a flat tire and the gas tank was on empty. The expression “making it on a wing and a prayer” was rarely more applicable.

Enter Mike “the Chief” Glaubinger, the man in charge of cathedral security. He joined me for some coffee and conversation. After fifteen minutes, he excused himself and returned five minutes after that with an address scribbled on a piece of paper. There was a $400.00 cheque waiting for me at an office in Valley Stream, he said, to put four new ties on the van.

“You might want to thank the godfather for the favor,” Glaubinger said on the q.t.

“The godfather?” I questioned the nebulous title.

“Vinny Griffo. He owns FBI and William Street Brokers.”

“He owns the FBI?”

“Not thee FBI; not the Federal Bureau of Investigation; FBI: Fundamental Brokers Incorporation, on Wall Street. “He calls the shots,” said Glaubinger with all the chutzpah of an insider trader, “Give him a call. Tell him the Chief sent you. There’s the number.”

Glaubinger intrigue apart, I dialed the 516 area code number to thank the unknown benefactor for his timely donation to the cause. If I’m not mistaken, it was a Tuesday morning and just happened to be Vincent W. Griffo’s day-off. After identifying myself and thanking him for the new set of treads, out of the clear blue, he asked me: “Do you swim?” The non sequitur threw me and when I hadn’t answered soon enough for him, Mr. Griffo gave me another chance to redeem myself: “Well, do you at least like gin and tonics?” I answered his first query saying that, if thrown overboard, not too far from shore, with the tide in my favor and the wind to my back, I stood a reasonable chance of making it to dry land. “But” I cautioned, “that would not be my idea of a good time. As for the reviver…”

“Reviver?” he asked.

“The gin and tonic water,” I answered, “Now there, you’re getting closer to what I’d call ‘a good time’”.

His laughter broke the ice. And, since he was free that day and I didn’t begin my tour of duty until the following morning, we met and sat around his newly installed swimming pool at number 6, Midfarm Road. Five minutes into the visit Mr. Griffo confessed that he himself couldn’t swim a stroke. What’s more, only the day before he had quit his swimming lessons at the RVC Recreation Center in protest. Apparently, Mesdames Sarah Finkelstein, Raz “You-Who” Goldberg, and Sophie Silverman - to name just a few of his matronly colleagues in the Beginners Swimming League - ridiculed him for flunking floating, and that, said Mr. Griffo, was enough of that.

That afternoon a great friendship was born between Mr. Vincent W. Griffo and me, one that would last almost 35 years.

In all those years of friendship, we acquired some very special meeting places. The second floor of Tre Scalini and L’Archilutto in Rome, Casadores and La Vianda in Guadalajara, Asti’s and Eddie Condon’s (both, of happy memory) in Manhattan were some of the locations we found most conducive to our philosophical colloquies. What did they all have in common? A decent house red and opera music. Once, in Guadalajara, a 12 piece Mariachi appeared and asked Señor Griffo if he had a request. Jokingly, he turned to me and said: “I don’t suppose these guys would know anything from Rigoletto.” The maestro smiled and gave him a wink. I’ll never forget Vinny’s face as they went into a rousing rendition of La Donna e Mobile and Questa o Quella, sung by a young Mexican tenor, in Italian, and, for an encore, performed von Suppé’s Dicter und Bauer Ouvertüre.    

Vincent W. also had his serious side. And, believe it or not, so did I. We often discussed aspects of our Catholic Faith and points of spirituality, the morality and immorality of Wall Street, how to “stay the course” on such a tumultuous sea, and of course, we talked about the directions our personal lives were taking. We trusted each other. We had disagreements, some minor, some not so minor. After one major disagreement, we did not speak for four years, until, by the grace of God, the problem resolved itself and we were able to pick up where we had left off. That was an extremely wonderful day.  

There was one thing Vincent W. Griffo was never comfortable talking about; all the good he did for others. I speak about it now, because he is no longer here to tell me to “keep a lid on it”.

An orphanage in Tepatitlan, Jalisco, Mexico, stands as testimony to the generosity and benevolence of Vincent William Griffo. Certainly there were others whose magnanimity was outstanding: Hal and Mary Madden, Kamal Salaame, Archbishop Nuño, and my own parents come readily to mind. But it was “my cousin Vinny” whom I could call, and did, whenever I got in trouble – and I was in trouble often and deeply. From c. 1982 to 1986, he donated over a million dollars so that orphaned children in Mexico would have a beautiful place in which to live, good food and clothing, formation and a Catholic education.

But it did not stop there. Vinny responded to many calls for help, both from people inside and people far outside his own world.

I came home from New York a few days after Vinny died. Two days after I arrived, I was visited by Antonio Pun. Like Vincent W., Antonio is one of the great and unique people in my life. He and his oldest son drove from Guadalajara on what he called, his “farewell tour”. The tall, always upbeat Chinese-Mexican, had just turned 91 and wanted to see me one last time before going to God. He also wanted to thank, once again, “most honorable man from New York” for his invaluable help in 1983.

It’s too long a story to tell here, but in 1983 I phoned Vincent W. at FBI and solicited his financial help to get 19 people released from Communist China. I can still hear him shouting through the phone: “What?! Chinese emigrants!!? Have you been drinking??” Still, the check arrived by DHL the following day and one-way tickets were issued for 19 of the happiest people on earth. Remind me to tell you the whole story one day. It’s really amazing.

As for the touring Antonio Pun; I told him that Mr. Griffo had died just the week before. “That’s OK,” he smiled, “I’ll thank him again myself, this time in person, and soon enough”.  

Vincent W. Griffo did so much good in the time God gave him on earth. He loved much and was much loved in return.

There was one thing he repeated often: “I wish my faith was as strong as yours; I want you there when I go. You’ll be there, won’t you?”

My friend: Your beloved Kathleen was there. So were all seven of your loving children: Billy, Lorraine, Jeannine, Michael, Robbie, Bianca and Barbara Ann. So were their husbands and wives. And so were all of their children, your grandchildren.

And, as promised, my friend, so was I.

But you already know all of that, don’t you?

Before concluding, I express my deepest gratitude to the Triune God - Who saw fit to give me such a friend as Vincent W. Griffo. Gratia tibi, Domine!  (Thank You, Lord!)

[wavesofserenity0817-blog]

Tattoos? Yup

I love when people tell me “OMG your tattoos are so unique and cool!” but I also love when others say “Wow that’s dumb” or “why would you get that” these questions I love because I get wild-ed up and can’t wait to snap back at them! I understand people get tattoos just because it looks cool, yeah sure that awesome I have a few for that reason but most of mine have these special reasons that really shut people up after they make their smart comments. So here’s a list in order of when I got my tattoos and their meanings: “Fighter” on my right rib: Yes, the typical “my first tattoo story” I got it done in a guys’ basement but he worked at a shop too, but whatever... RECKLESS! Anyways… I come from a broken family. Mom and Dad never got along. 8th grade they started the divorce process and it took a great toll on me and my Dad constantly harassed me on who my mom was dating and what was going on. The situation caused me to do some things I desperately regret. I thought the only way to relieve the pain was to inflict it elsewhere, so that’s when the blade met my wrist, and then I met my school counselor. I couldn’t have been more blessed with someone who understood my feelings and would listen. I eventually got through 8th grade with clean wrists. Freshman year, oh shit high school. I had my first love and got my heart shattered by sophomore year. Never lay your heart in the arms of someone who done you wrong the whole relationship. Once a cheater always a cheater… Lesson learned. So that brings me to this tattoo meaning. By Junior year I was stronger, clean wrists, smiling and strong because I fought my own demons along with everyone fighting against me. It was only later did I realize this tattoos meaning would become more meaningful when another Ex decided it was okay to abuse me, emotionally, mentally, and psychically.  I continue, to this day to fight some personal battles with family, my past, and learning that I am strong and can and WILL conquer whatever you want to throw at me. LIFE, BRING IT ON!

“Love” with a key, heart and bow on my lower back:  Go ahead, say it. “OMG WHAT A WHORE YOU HAVE A TRAMPSTAMP” Well technically not really, it’s panned off to the side of my lower back… so screw off.  This is the “first” tattoo my mom knew about. (sorry mom). She took me to get tattoo while she was getting her first too, but the shop was busy and could only do hers’, so I went back the next day and got one.  I know how against tattoos my father was so I was done out of spite. Plus I was still underage, but hey it was “cool”.  So I picked out a design that a guy has posted on his wall. I didn’t think, I didn’t know a meaning for it, but I figured while the needle was in me I could make a meaning. Like I said it was done to be spiteful. After a few years I realize its simplest meaning… Love is the key to life. What do you have if you don’t have love?  It’s honestly not my favorite tattoo, and I intend in a few years to get it covered, but for now it just is a reminder, don’t do things out of impulse and spite!

Infinity sign with one side being a wave on my hip:  This tattoo was the first of something amazing, and I don’t mean a tattoo idea.  This is the first tattoo my boyfriend took me to get. He’s not all for the ink, but he agreed to hold my hand.  Ever since I was little the water and waves were my serenity. “Oh no she’s crying”, yup, take her to the beach, I stopped.  As I got older the waves did more than sooth my tears. As I sat with my bum in the sand and stared out into the horizon, I would collect my negative thoughts and worries, and throw them into the waves, when the waves retreated back from the shore I knew my worries were gone. My worries and thoughts were washed away. I once read a story/poem whatever you want to call it, about an oyster.  The moral of the story was that, that little bit of sand that gets into the oysters shell causes so much pain for him, but he made the best of it and turned it into something beautiful, a peal.  Although this tattoo isn’t an oyster it still makes me think of that story.  It means everything to me that even after all the bits of sand (assholes I dated) in my “shell” I turned it into something beautiful a.k.a my boyfriends and I relationship.

Angel Wings across my back: MY FIRST LEGAL TATTOO! This is one of those tattoos I liked just because of the way it looked. It wasn’t until after I got it that I realized its true meaning.  I’m no perfect angel, I defiantly have my demons, but I am protected and guided by the wings of my grandfather (and now grandmother) and God who will always guide me and protect me. I know my wings are not ready and though I thought they were in 8th grade when I made my stupid choices. I now know that God is still creating my wings and isn’t ready to give me a real pair.

Baby feet, halo and angel wings on my ankle: This one is just as hard to talk about as my “fighter” one. This one changed my life forever. When I was in my abusive relationship with my Ex, I ran to my best friend. He didn’t know the whole story, as I feel like I didn’t want to talk about it I just wanted to be held in the arms of someone I know would care.  I never pictured a relationship with this guy; he was more of a friend and occasional flirt once in a while. Well I guess falling for you best friend in my case came with a whole package… I quickly found out I was pregnant from my best friend, while I was still in the abusive relationship, I knew then I had a ticket out of hell. With the stress of my Ex off of me I now had to have the reality settle in I was going to be a 17 year old mom, with a guy who only considered me a friend. Terrified, shock and stress began to hit harder, we knew I was getting further along every day and that we had limited time to tell our families.  Yes, we ended up together, finally after years of hiding our feelings.  His birthday came around and so did ultrasounds and the tears and fear of telling our families.  The night before his birthday we laid in bed and I could feel something wrong in my stomach, my boyfriend placed his hand on my stomach and rubbed it. The following morning I awoke in severe pains and bleeding. I knew, he knew. Our baby grew his wings and left us. I tried not to let it ruin his birthday but I was clearly upset. We didn’t tell the family until almost a year and a half later when I found out my freshman Ex knocked up his girlfriend he cheated on me with. I was upset and depressed and was drowning in my thoughts. “Why does she get the life I could’ve had?” I had to let the tears roll and spill my heart out how I was hurt and that we miscarried and hid it from everyone, and after my miscarriage I found out I have PCOS which makes it difficult for me to conceive. I lost a miracle. To my surprise, nobody cared, and I don’t mean they didn’t care like they would’ve been mad, I mean they didn’t care as if like what the hell was two 17 years old still in high school were going to do with a baby, and the start of a fresh relationship. I guess they’re right, what were we supposed to do? We clearly wouldn’t have had any help… I still look down and cry and wonder what he would’ve looked like, I still look at the ultrasound pics and wonder if he hits homeruns in heaven like his daddy does. But he’s my angel and I am forever blessed for him bringing me and my best friend closer and if it wasn’t for him who knows if we would’ve ever confessed our feelings for each other. R.I.P Justin Clark.

A Cross on the back of my neck:  Just below my cerebellum, lining my spinal cord.  The cerebellum controls voluntary movements, balance, equilibrium, and fine motor skills.  The spinal cord is connected to the brainstem which basically controls all vital bodily functions.  So growing up in a catholic school for my whole life with the exception of two years, which were hell, I learned a lot about my faith and trust in God. He really does control my life, and he only gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers, so everything I thought could break me only made me closer to him.  He listened to every prayer, and saw every tear and still threw stuff in my way but he knew before I did that I could overcome it and it would only benefit me and my strength in the long hall. At times I doubted him he always showed me there’s a light and guided me through.

“Blessed” on my wrist: “Blessed is she who believed that there would be fulfillment of what had been spoken to her by the Lord…” –Luke 1:45.  I don’t mean to blast you with religion and bible verses’ but this is ME. I should’ve just listened to God and known he wasn’t going to fail me, I should’ve known he would’ve pulled me out of the deepest waters.  The placement for this tattoo is to remind me never to place a blade there again, to never break skin. I am blessed that I never made a cut too deep, and I think that’s because God was the one who guided my hand to put the razor down, he knew my wings weren’t ready yet.  If he didn’t grab my hand and make me put it down, I probably wouldn’t be here. I was blessed Senior year to be a peer minister which to some just means I got to wear a wood cross around my neck and be a counselor to anyone in need.  To me it meant the world. Although not many were there for me in my time of need I was there for everyone else.  I eventually got to become a certified Eucharistic Minister, at first it was pure excitement to be able to do something during mass instead of just sitting there. It wasn’t until I held the body of Christ, in my hand blessed who receiving it, that I realized this is what it feels like to be blessed to be a child of God.

“D.J.W” on my rib:  Everyone’s favorite to talk shit about. Yes, you guessed it, my boyfriends’ initials.  Dumb idea? NOPE! Regret? NOPE! Did he make you do it? NOPE! Does he have yours? NOPE! This was a decision completely up to me, and I don’t regret it. Might have been the most painful I have gotten! My other side of my rib did not hurt as bad as these three letters.  The tattoo artist joked and said “maybe the pain is your reminder that no matter how hard it gets, no pain compares to the needle piercing your skin with his name” Boy, was he right, my boyfriend and I have gone through hell to get to where we are now. I wouldn’t trade any fight, tears, or yelling we ever had, it only made us stronger. Yes, I plan on adding to his initials.  Under them will be “ I love you” in his handwriting” and under that will be the date we get married in roman numerals, which we intend to be married on July 25, 2020.  So please feel free to make a comment on how dumb I am for having my boyfriends’ name on me.

“Family is Forever” on my top shoulder: Like mentioned before, I come from a broken family.  It wasn’t until my mom met my step dad did I realize how important family is. He not only filled the father role, but he made my Mom happy. He took on two kids who he barely knew and called us his own.  The attachment grew quick. The unconditional love he gave to all of us, mended the broken pieces.  Though he was no stronger than my mom the two created a strong family that wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for their love.  I see how he looks at all of us and how we changed his life, but in reality he changed ours.

“For one so small, you seem so strong” on my bicep: if you’re a Disney fan you know this song, come on… Tarzan! “You’ll be in my heart” by Phil Collins.  I didn’t get this tattoo because I like Tarzan, in facts it’s not even in my top 5 Disney movies. This is a song my mom would always sign to me when I was little, because she’s a huge Phil fan. I get a lot of comments like “is this for you kid?” because I guess it sounds like I’m talking about a child, but nope.  This tattoo just reminds me that I am small compared to this universe but I sure am as strong as anything in it.

Mickey Mouse Ears, with fireworks behind my ear: If you couldn’t tell, I’m a huge Disney fan. Every year for my birthday I would go to Disney and hit up every park as a kid, it was literally the dream.  I got to be in the parade for my birthday, not a big part, but I got to dance around in the parade with Snow White. I even got a Cinderella dress from the gift shop for free for my birthday, I literally treasure that dress! This one is mainly for the sole reason of me just loving Disney, and Mickey, and my favorite part of Disney World is the lightshow and fireworks at Cinderella’s castle at night, that’s why there’s some fireworks added around it.

Heart on my finger: OH shit tattoo! Ever get a hangnail and try to pull it and your raw skin comes off with it? Yup do that over and over and over again, that what a finger tattoo feels like.  I don’t recommend getting a finger tattoo, not because of the pain, but because of the constant need to fix it, and get it touched up.  You are constantly using your hands and washing them, so it makes the ink fade quicker. This was a spur of moment tattoo with my mom, she has the same on in the same spot, from a distance it looks like pen on my finger but up close I guess you can tell what it is. One side is purple for her and the other is pink for me, kinda like my first “best friends” tattoo with my mom.  I laughed while she was in pain because I felt like I have more tattoos than her I’d be able to endure the torture but damn I was wrong.

“Neverland” around my ankle: This one is wrapped around my ankle, under my angel baby footprints.  The story goes that Peter Pan was an angel that guided children who passed away; he was taking them to Neverland (Heaven) so they never had to grow up.  I want to believe that my grandfather or Peter Pan, or God helped my little angel reach heaven, where he can remain innocent, well loved, and become everything I wish I could’ve seen.  I hope he’s like his daddy and good at baseball, and football, I hope he has daddy’s blue eyes and curly hair. I hope he has my humor and daddy’s personality. I hope someone is up there, watching over him until I get my wings and can continue to care for him.  I hope he smiles down on his daddy and I and are proud of us. And I hope that someone is up there playing all the Disney movies for him to watch and learn.

Roses on my chest:  Well it sure didn’t start out like that! I had my mom’s birthday in “roman numerals” a little below my collarbone, but I got it done for $20, should’ve known then to RUN! Well when the guy finished I looked down and was mortified! It was like I gave my 3 year old cousin a pen to draw on me. There were no dashes to make it look like roman numerals, the letters were different sizes, not straight and had stray marks. He clearly knew I was upset and decided to touch up my finger tattoo for free, and told me to come back to finish my roman numerals.  I knew better than to ever go back there again, and I never did.  I went to the shop my boyfriend and his mom go to, everyone was very tough looking and took no shit. Well I asked the one guy if it was possible to get an appointment immediately as my moms’ wedding was 3 days away and I was maid of honor, I surely didn’t want a chicken scratch tattoo shown in all our photos to remember! He felt so bad once I told him the story; he promptly brought me in the backroom and he got right to sketching a beautiful design. I told him the gist of what I wanted, to start a half sleeve and incorporate roses, and my moms’ birthday and a butterfly and a rosary and even a sugar skull. I basically gave him free will on how to design it! But it wasn’t going to be all done that day! He didn’t want to let me be in my moms’ wedding with a ugly tattoo so he started my half sleeve covering up my stupid $20 chicken scratch. For now until my broke ass can afford the rest of my sleeve, I have two beautiful black and grey roses covering the old one. I can’t wait to add to it in due time.

As mentioned, all my tattoos have specific meanings, so what about their placements? Of course I thought about that too!

“Fighter” on my right rib: The choice to put this tattoo here was simply the fact it was the easiest I could hide from my parents. It sits right under my bra strap but is visible in a bikini, due the straps being smaller.  I also picked the right side because I know it’s RIGHT to fight and to be smart about my choices.  I know it was RIGHT of me to get help when I desperately needed it but tried to avoid it.  I know my heart and gut will always be RIGHT. “Love” with heart, key and bow on lower left back: This was more a spiteful spot because I know my father hated tattoos in “tacky” spots, which the lower back being one of them.  So I figured if I just “stretched” enough near my dad and have my shirt lift ever so slightly, it would draw his attention to it. Sure enough it did, and I got my ass cussed out and I smiled the whole time. Infinity sign with wave on my right hip bone: This one is right on my hip bone, don’t freak out, it actually didn’t hurt as bad as it sounds.  This one is placed just in the right spot to be seen in a bikini, which fits perfectly because it was meant to be seen on the beach because it symbolizes it. Angel wings across my back:  This one is almost self-explanatory.  Wings grow from your back shoulder, so I think at least. Baby footprints with halo and wings/ Neverland on my left ankle: My ankle? Yes my ankle, because there’s a quote that says “never run faster than your guardian angel can fly” which makes complete sense for this tattoos meaning.  My angel baby will need help learning to walk, even if I’m not physically teaching him, someone has to show him the steps. If I’m running he won’t be able to catch up to me and I wouldn’t be able to help him take his first steps. Eventually we will be able to run and fly together. Cross on back of my neck: As stated in the meaning, its right below my cerebellum and the cerebellum controls everything you do. My faith, my religion, and my spirituality made me realize that God does guide my every action. “Blessed” on my left wrist: Also, as stated before, I put this on my wrist to remind myself to keep my wrist clean. Yes there are still scars, but the tattoo is a distraction from them and reminds me to not create anymore. Also, it’s on my left wrist because that is a my self-harm wrist, and your veins go right to your heart from there, which is one of the many veins cut when committing suicide. “D.J.W” on my left rib:  The heart is placed on the left side of your body right? I thought so. He is my whole heart and always by myside, literally! “Family is forever” on my left top shoulder:  Are you catching on to the theme here? Everything to do with family and love is on my left side because of my love for my family, and friends, and relationship. “For one so small, you seem so strong” on my left bicep:  Yes another left side tattoo and right on my bicep so I flex my muscles and show how small yet strong they are as well as I am. Mickey Mouse ears with fireworks behind my right ear:  Disney fireworks, the yelling and screaming, the parade, the rides, the music is all sweets sounds to my ears. Heart on my right pointer finger:  This placement was completely random, I wanted a black palm tree on my finger but once the stencil was on it ended up looking like a big black blob on my finger so my mom and I switched it to a heart. Honestly I think we did this placement for a unique spot and to be “bad asses”. Roses on my chest over my left collarbone:  This was simply because that’s where my shitty $20 tattoo was. I originally had my moms’ birthday over my heart because she gave me life and I love her with all my heart. I plan to still add her birthday to my half sleeve.  

[ecotone99]

[HM] Chewing Tobacco is a Terrible Hobby

“You little shitheads ever try chewing tobacco?” my friend’s older brother, Jason, asked us. We were huddled together in a circle looking at a beat-to-hell issue of Playboy magazine that we fished out of a dumpster the day before when we heard him ask the question, his raspy voice cracking with each word. Jason stood over the lot of us while we nervously and silently decided on how to respond. I honestly had never even entertained the idea. I was only 11, much too young for chewing tobacco. At that point in my life the only drugs I was aware of were on television in the form of headache pill commercials and cold medicine syrups. My parents smoked cigarettes but I never considered emptying the tobacco out and eating it. Is that how that works?? None of us spoke. We all simply stared at Jason in this weird kind of awe that elementary school students have for high school students. “That’s what I thought, shitheads,” Jason scowled, “lucky for you three I got an extra can of dip and y’all get to taste it.” Justin’s older brother, Jason, always made me a little uneasy. He rode a dirt bike and wore heavy metal t-shirts with names like “Judas Priest” and “Pentagram” on them. He was cool in this raw, rebellious kind of way. Not from what others thought or said about him, just in the way that he did whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. He was only 17-years-old but he smoked cigarettes and had a stick-and-poke tattoo on his chest of a scorpion. This was pretty hardcore by regular standards in the late-eighties, especially for a minor in the ultra-conservative South. “Here you go, Eddie!” Jason tossed the unopened can of chewing tobacco in my direction. The can hit my front tooth, chipped it, and landed at my feet. I played it off like it didn’t bother me but I was embarrassed and in pain. The tiny corner of my tooth that broke off was spit out and shoved deep into my pocket for later. I looked down and saw the can still wobbling before settling down flat on its back. The words “Copenhagen” looked up at me. I picked up the can and opened it. The tobacco smelled disgusting and it looked even more repulsive than I imagined…long, brown, wet stringy tendrils stuffed into the canister. Patrick, clearly the only sensible person in our group, hopped on his bicycle and left us – he wasn’t having anything to do with our peer pressure battle. Jason climbed back onto his dirt bike and kick started it in one attempt. BRAAP, BRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPP!!!! He twisted the accelerator on the handlebar and kicked the clutch down into first gear all in one motion. Before we could say anything he peeled out on the gravel driveway spraying rocks and dirt all into our chests and faces. “Fuck yooouuuuuuuuuu, losersssss!!!! Hahahahaha!!!!” Jason screamed while riding a wheelie out of our sights. Justin and I took the container of chewing tobacco to the public park around the corner from my house. We took turns holding it, passing it back and forth as we sat on a picnic table facing the water, feeling the raised lettering under our fingertips. We were excited and terrified. I had never tried smoking before but felt intrigued at the idea of just being able to shove a little in my mouth and just feel something, anything at all. I decided to go first. I pinched a bite-sized portion out of the can. It looked like rotting coleslaw and smelled like dirt and mushrooms with a hint of mint. I gagged once as I raised the plug of tobacco up to my face. “Here goes nothing”, I said out loud to myself as I pushed the tobacco past my lips and into my open mouth. Justin followed suit and did the exact same thing, pushing a slightly larger amount into his mouth as well. Five minutes passed by as we sat there watching the waves on the bay gently lap against the shore. Five long minutes of swishing this disgusting material around in my mouth waiting for something to happen, even though I had no clue what “it” even was. Did I get a bad batch? I thought I was doing something wrong until I tried to stand up. That’s when I realized I couldn’t. I was dizzier than I had ever felt and quickly grabbed the table I was sitting on to prevent myself from falling over. I looked at Justin’s face and could immediately see something was wrong with him, also – he was as white as a sheet. Since I had no clear instructions on how to even use chewing tobacco we had been slowly swallowing it as we sat there, and not spitting it out like an experienced “chewer” would do. I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my guts. The pain was exquisitely sharp, like I was being stabbed. I thought I was going to throw up, but couldn’t. That awful feeling of nausea just lingered there like an over-welcomed guest. I dropped to my knees as the cramping got stronger and finally pushed what remained of the tobacco out of my mouth with my tongue. I was no longer in control of the situation. For the first time in my life I feared I was going to die. This was even scarier than the time I got the wind knocked out of me in kindergarten. Justin looked down at me and finally spit his tiny remaining amount of tobacco out. “My dad is going to kill me, Eddie!” he said followed by projectile vomiting an obscene amount of chocolate milk all over his jean shorts and sneakers. I could see fibers of tobacco mixed in with the throw-up. He stood up and started limping away while holding his stomach as fresh puke dripped down the lower half of his body, staining his white Reebok sneakers brown. I stayed on the ground on my side in the fetal position for 20 more minutes. Justin was long gone. I was upset that he left me to die there but if I could have moved I would have left, too. As I lay there I could see ants marching around in his vomit puddle. Every time I moved even the slightest bit I became dizzy and felt like throwing up, so staying where I was on my side on the ground seemed like the best idea. Another 20 minutes. The waves of cramping had slowed down and the dizziness seemed to be fading away…I finally got the strength to stand up. I pulled myself up against the picnic table. All I had to do was make it to my house without dying, it was a short walk but it would require all the effort and strength my skinny 11-year-old body could muster. I made it out of the park. Sweat was pouring down my face and I could feel my shirt clinging to my wet body. I continued to walk carefully down the road to my house, each step accompanied by a cramp and another wave of feeling nauseous. At least I no longer felt like dying or the crushing fear I had initially felt. I could finally see my yard in the nearby distance. I was almost there. In front of me was the final hurdle, my neighbor, Jim, an old man around 80-years-old, was in his front yard watering the grass. I knew that if I turned around at this point I would be more suspicious looking, and I didn’t want my parents to find out that I nearly died swallowing chewing tobacco like a bush league rookie. My dad would kick my ass for that alone if he found out. I just needed to get past this last yard and I would be home. Neighbor Jim suddenly became the final boss of a video game level that I had to beat in order to get home, the last level – I’ve never wanted to be in my bed more in my entire life.

Jim tugged gently at the 100ft garden hose while adjusting the nozzle to create the perfect shower for his award winning lawn. “Yard of the Month doesn’t water itself” Jim thought to himself and chuckled. Back and forth he swept the showering waterfall over the front yard while admiring how green and healthy everything looked. He aimed the water purposefully into the sunlight to create a beautiful rainbow, one of his favorite things to do these days. As a former career military man he was all about everything being as perfect and manicured as his uniform used to be; except now it was his lawn and garden that were maintained to inspection levels. While watering Jim had noticed a spot on his lawn that could use some “thickening up” as he liked to call it and stepped away briefly to get grass seeds from his garage. As Jim walked back out onto his driveway he noticed a familiar face walking towards him on the street coming from the direction of the park; it was the neighbor’s young boy, Eddie. “Are you okay, Eddie?” Jim asked. Eddie didn’t, or maybe couldn’t, respond…Eddie looked pale and sick, and almost seemed to be limping…something was seriously wrong and Jim knew it. Eddie had made it to Jim’s lawn and without ever saying a word dropped to his hands and knees and began to violently puke and evacuate his bowels simultaneously. Jim had watched this young boy grow up next door and had never seen him so physically sick. Eddie continued to rock back and forth, disgusting noises and fluids erupted from both ends of his trembling body. After the boy stopped puking and gagging and farting he looked up at Jim and smiled a huge chipped-tooth grin. “Eddie, you must have eaten a bad breakfast - you need to go home and shower up, take a rest” Jim said, and held out his hand to help Eddie up. Jim made the boy turn around a few times while he showered him off in his front yard; bodily fluids, vomit, and feces all rinsed away into that luscious, award winning grass.

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