#we’re just quarantining as best as we can and hoping for the best

[specialagentlokitty]

Daryl x reader - take on the world together

Part 12:

Every time Spencer woke up you would sing for him, and in the mor hung Hershel came to check on him.

Daryl was sat above his head, holding a damp cloth there to try and bring down his slightly high temperature.

“He doesn’t seem to be responding to the medication, I can up the dosage but not by much.” Hershel said.

“Whatever you need to do.” Daryl said.

You had stepped outside with Carol and Beth, who were trying their best to comfort you.

Rick walked in, kneeling next to the bed.

“We can sent Tyreese, Michonne, Glenn and Maggie to two different stores.”

Daryl nodded his head, swapping the cloth for one Hershel handed him.

Rick looked out of the cell door before looking back in.

“You know what this looks like?” He asked.

“He ain’t been bit.” Daryl said.

“I know, he never leaves yours or (Y/N)s sight, but Daryl we know these signs…” Rick whispered.

He walked over, kneeling next to them all again.

“Listen to me Rick, he ain’t been bitten, he ain’t turnin’.”

“Maybe not, but Daryl if he is (Y/N) can’t do it.”

Daryl clenched his jaw, looking at his friend.

“Nobody is doing nothin’ to this boy, you hear me? Ain’t nobody gonna hurt him, ain’t nobody gonna fuckin’ kill me!”

They stared at each other for a few minutes.

“He’s sick, that’s it, kids get sick all the time we just gotta find him some shit to make it better.”

“We’re going to do everything we can.” Hershel said.

Daryl nodded, and he lifted Spencer into his arms, holding him against his chest.

“Ain’t nothin’ happening to this boy, I gave my word.”

“I’ll send them today, they’ll be back by dark.” Rick said.

Daryl nodded his head, watching as the two left and you came back in.

You sat next to Daryl, resting your head on his shoulder and holding Spencer’s hand.

“He’s gonna be fine.”

Daryl rested his head on yours and you nodded.

That’s when everything went downhill, with one of the others getting sick that same night then turning, and there was a mass quarantine put in place.

Daryl had to go on a run for the medicine that they needed and he stopped by your cell before leaving.

You stood up, walking to the corner of the cell with him.

“We’ll be quick, in and out that’s all we need.”

You nodded your head.

“How is he?”

“No better, but no worse, I think it’s working. I don’t think he’s got whatever the others have, his scent is different to theirs.”

Daryl nodded, placing his hand on the side of your face and you looked up at him.

“Daryl what if it is the same thing…?”

“Nah, it ain’t, you said it yourself, it’s a different scent. I still don’t get it but I know when you say it’s not the same it ain’t.”

He sighed, running his thumb along your cheek.

“He’s gonna be fine, I’ll make sure of it.”

You nodded again.

He leant down, hovering his lips over yours in the ghost of a kiss and he pulled away.

“We’re gonna be okay…”

“I hope so…”

“We are, have a little more confidence in me, I ain’t dead yet.”

You laughed weakly.

“Yet being the key word here.”

“Maybe if I die I’ll come back like you, have some of those freaky cool powers you have.”

“You wish moron.”

You placed your hand on the back of his head in order to pull him down so you could briefly kiss him again before letting him go.

“Help them…”

“I’ll be back by tomorrow night.”

He kissed your head, walking over to Spencer he covered him up with a sheet and left the cell and you walked back over to the boy.

You laid next to him, an arm around him for protection, only moving when Hershel came to look at him.

You began hearing talks of separating people, the young and old from the rest, the sick, and then keeping their distance from each other.

You kept a close watch on your cell door, and the moment Rick walked through you jumped in front of Spencer.

“No.”

“He needs to go with the others, you and I both know this.”

“Rick I’m not letting you take him.”

Rick sighed slightly.

“He’s sick, just like the others, he needs to be separated so he doesn’t infect you, or anybody else.”

“They’re turning in there! He’ll be at risk!”

“And we’re at risk of him turning here!”

“Then lock the cell!”

Rick shook his head, and drew his gun on you and you immediately reached out for your knife.

“Don’t, I don’t want to hurt you. Or Spencer, we just need to contain whatever this is until they get back.”

“It’s not the same illness.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do!” You hissed.

Rick walked over, his gun still trained on you and he picked up Spencer.

“I don’t want to do this, but I have to. I’m sorry.”

“Rick I swear to god put him down or I’ll kill you, I will rip you limb from limb.”

He slowly backed away and when he was around the corner you walked out your cell.

“Rick I’m warning you…”

“I’m sorry.”

He handed Spencer to Carol who began making her way down the stairs, and you jumped over the railing, blocking their way.

You didn’t care anymore if they found out or not, all you cared about was making sure he wasn’t put in the same cell block as people who were going to turn.

You red eyes stared at him and you took a few deep breath.

“Put him down…”

Everybody in the cell block trained their weapons on you.

“Put him down!” You yelled.

“Get on your knees!” Rick yelled.

“Put Spencer down!”

You both began yelling at each other even more, and someone you didn’t recognise fired a shot into your shoulder which sent you flying back into the wall.

Rick took this as his chance and he slammed the hilt of his gun into your head knocking you out.

You came too, and you were outside in the field, a few guns pointed at you.

“Give me my boy…” you growled.

You slowly stood up, noticing your hands were bound by wire and you looked at him.

“What the fuck are you?” Glenn whispered.

“Give me Spencer!”

“No! He’s safer here!” Maggie yelled.

“Leave.” Rick said.

You snapped your eyes to him, pulled your wrists apart snapped the restraints.

“No.”

“Either you leave or I put a bullet in your brain. I’m not letting you get the boy.”

You looked at the prison then back to him.

“If he dies, if he turns, if he’s attacked in any way, if you hurt him or upset him, if anything, and I mean anything happens to him I’m going to kill you Rick. You personally.”

You slowly backed away, and you turned around, running over to the gate you cleared it in a jump and began to run down the road.

You knew where they went to go look for supplies, and you’d be able to get there if you were quick and help them.

And you were, you were quick enough to see that they found themselves in a difficult spot.

You jumped up on the little separate roof, and you smashed the window in for them.

“Come on!” You yelled.

You helped them out one by one, and Daryl looked at you in confusion.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I fucked up Daryl, okay? I fucked up.”

You ran a hand through your hair and spun around when you saw Bob struggling with his bag and the walkers.

Rushing over, you grabbed the bag and hauled it up.

It was light for somebody who was supposed to be getting medical supplies, and you handed it over to Daryl.

“I swear to god I’ll kill him…”

“Wait here.”

Daryl walked away and you you took a few deep breaths to try and calm yourself down.

You walked over, taking the bottle from the bag you tossed it as far as you could and took the bag, tossing it behind you.

“I’ll get actual fucking medicine, go back. Now.”

“Go! Quickly!”

Daryl turned to you.

“Daryl looked after him, make sure nothing happens to him. Promise me that.”

“You’re coming back dumbass.”

“They know, I can’t. I can’t go back. I.. I lost my temper, okay? Rick took Spencer, isolated him with the rest. I’ll get what you need, I’ll bring it back. I’ll throw it over the gate, so keep looking there.”

Daryl placed his hands on your face.

“Nah, you’re coming back I don’t give a shit what they say.”

“You need to go back, it’s been done. I can’t change that.”

You leant up, kissing him before quickly pulled away.

“Go! I’ll deal with this.”

He seemed conflicted and you nudged him away from the building.

“Go!”

You made sure they had gotten away before you made your way inside, looking for any other medications or equipment that could help and you grabbed what you could.

You made your way back to the prison, but you had to wait until dark to leave the bag.

You crouched behind some trees, just waiting, and the moment the sun was fully set out crept over, jumping over the gate.

You set the bag down somewhere safe where they would be able to see it, and jumped back over the gate.

You sighed, and you began making your way back to the forest.

“Don’t.”

You stopped.

“I can see you, come up to the watchtower.”

You looked up at it, the man who was holding the sniper as he looked through it and you cleared the gate once more.

You quickly made your way up the watch tower, and he closed the hatch when you were up.

Daryl set the gun down, and you both sat down.

“I’ll need to go before Dawn.” You said.

“Fine, but you better come back tomorrow, got that?”

You just nodded your head and he crouched in front of you.

“How is he…?”

“Fine, Hershel agrees with you that it ain’t the same illness, Rick’s got a black eye, and they’re talking about what to do with Spencer and you.”

You snapped your gaze to him.

“Don’t stress it, Spencer is gonna stay, gonna stay in my care. They’re talking about letting you back in, but the ones that saw are reluctant.”

“I’ll keep bringing you thing you need, from further away.”

“Hey, you don’t have to do that, they tossed you out.”

“But before they did they took me in, that still counts for something. As long as they look after Spence then I’ll keep helping.”

You stood up, and you began to pace back and forth.

“Have they asked you about it yet?”

“Nah, I punched Rick when I got back for kicking you out, talked to Hershel, then came here, ain’t seen them since.”

You slowly nodded your head.

“I’ll go see him tomorrow, come back tomorrow night and I’ll tell you more.”

You nodded again, and you walked over to leave the watch tower but he stopped you, his hand stretched out to grab your wrist.

“Stay.”

“Daryl.”

“Stay.” He repeated.

You sighed, but you sat down next to him, resting your head on his shoulder, looking at your intertwined fingers.

You felt him lay down, and he pulled you to lay next to him, both of you just staring up at the top of the watchtower without a word

#the walking dead x reader #the walking dead x you #the walking dead x y/n #the walking dead imagine #the walking dead #twd x reader #twd x you #twd x y/n #twd imagine #twd #daryl dixon x you #daryl dixon x y/n #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon imagine #daryl dixon

[cowgurrrl]

It Will Come Back

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader (except this is all backstory)

Author’s note: now we’re cooking with peanut oil 🤠

Summary: “I get mean when I’m nervous, like a bad dog.” Cop Car by Mitski [3.3k]

Warnings: survival stuff, parental anxiety, PTSD symptoms, Jane being the best, some smoochy smooch

More survivors filter in. Slowly, but they still show up— nobody you recognize or care about. You still haven't seen Matt, and you're quickly losing hope. Not that there was much to begin with. Time crawls on, and suddenly it's been weeks since that September night. Adam and Jane are inseparable most days. She wants to be next to him and hear what he has to say or teach her, and she laughs. Full-bellied, air-stealing, big laughs at his jokes or a funny face. Seeing her interacting with someone, especially a man, like that hurts something deep inside you. The whole time you think, she deserves a dad. She wants a dad. She's worthy of a dad, but her mom can't ever fucking pick 'em right. He's not her father, and there's nothing you can do to change that, but to her, he's a safe person to be around. That's enough for now. 

There have been murmurings of a wall going up around the Quarantine Zone— nobody in or out without clearance or a death wish. After that, FEDRA will clear the rest of the QZ and get whatever survivors are here into apartments. Maybe even give us jobs again. May is still hounding you about coming around and helping at what is now the makeshift hospital, where she spends her days tending to new survivors and stupid FEDRA soldiers who take bullets to the shoulder for not paying attention. You don't care. The entirety of your attention is on Jane.

Is she eating enough? Is she sleeping? Is she getting nightmares like you are? Does she see the blood staining your hands when she closes your eyes like you do? Seeing your mom kill four people in front of you can't be good for your mental health. How do you help her get through it? What can you do to ease this aching burden you handed her without a second thought because at least she was alive? Is she happy? Would she even tell you if she wasn't? Would she still let you see that part of her, or is she aware of just how fragile you are these days? You're still in survival mode. You're not sure when you'll get out of it, if you ever will.

One night, before the last dredges of summer heat can slip away, Jane sighs as she lies next to you, staring at the ceiling. You look down and push her hair out of her face so you can see her better through the darkness. She leans into your touch, snuggling closer and throwing an arm over your abdomen. 

"What's wrong, bug?" You ask quietly as you kiss her temple. 

"D'you remember when we used to sit outside and look at the sky before bed?" She asks like it was years ago instead of a few weeks. In a way, it feels like it. You take a deep breath and nod. 

"Yeah, I remember."

"I miss the moon," she mumbles. "Is it still there?"

"The moon?" You ask, and she hums. "Yeah, the moon is still up there. It'll always be in the sky."

"Do you think Daddy looked at the moon like we did?" She asks, and you freeze. She rarely brings him up, if at all. She doesn't know why he's not around but understands that most families have two parents. Still, you know she thinks about him, and you've told her it's okay if she does. You just didn't expect her to ask you that.

"I don't know," you admit. "What do you think?" She looks like she thinks for a moment before reaching out to play with the ends of your hair. 

"I think he did." She says, and you smile. She doesn't say anything else, falling asleep in your arms not even ten minutes later. You do your best to follow suit, closing your eyes and snuggling her to your chest, but your mind floods with memories of sitting on the balcony of your apartment with her, looking up at the night sky. 

It was her favorite thing to do. She would smile as you pointed out constellations and listened when you told her stories about the formations. You told her that the Big Dipper was the Little Dipper's mom, so they were never far apart. You told her that the Big Dipper loved the Little Dipper so much that they were put in the sky for everyone to see their love forever. You told her they were like you two. Before you finally fall asleep, you start coming up with a plan. 

Over the next week, you take notice of the patrol shifts. You figure out when and where they patrol and when they change shifts. For the most part, it's the same rotation every few days as a few FEDRA soldiers patrol the perimeter of the QZ. However, most of them are focused on where they're building the wall, protecting the workers, and making sure nothing gets in or out. You figure if you stay away from the building site, you're in the clear. When you're alone, you pull your bag from under your and Jane's bed to check your gun. The grip still has blood, but it's loaded, and you have extra ammo. You glance around before tucking the gun in your waistband, the weight of the metal a comfort against your skin. 

That night, you almost decide to change your whole plan. In the past few days, FEDRA has gotten especially jumpy, and in turn, they've gotten brutal. They've recently implemented a curfew, making everyone get off the streets and stay in their shelters from the hours of nine pm to six am. At first, the punishment for being caught outside after curfew was a slap on the wrist. Then, it became a fine that nobody paid because nobody had money anymore. Now, it's time, ranging from hours to days, spent in lockup. You've seen May helping a few people once they leave lockup, bruises and cuts littering their skin. As if fighting Infected wasn't threatening enough, now we're living under constant fear of getting the shit beaten out of us by FEDRA. 

Waters doesn't even look at you when he walks through the shelter. None of them look at any of us. Their eyes are hollowed by whatever they've done since the beginning of the end. You would feel bad if you didn't know he and other FEDRA soldiers lived the most lavishly out of any other survivor. Rumor has it they spent our food budget on ammunition, and rationing will start sooner rather than later. Empathy is hard to find on both sides these days. 

Still, you quietly slip your shoes on and rouse Jane awake. When she opens her eyes, she blinks at you several times like she can't comprehend that you're sitting up instead of lying next to her. "Wanna go see the moon?" You whisper, and a huge smile breaks out across her face. She sits up and puts her shoes and jacket on before tiptoeing out of the room behind you. The hallways are empty, so you sail through the old high school and to the double doors leading to the street without any issues. As you approach the door, you put a hand on Jane's shoulder, pull your gun from your waistband, and keep it low before opening the door to check that the streets are clear. Jane gets the silent message and stays back until you wave her on. She looks up the second there's no roof over her head and marvels at the vastness of the sky.

There aren't as many stars visible as usual, but you chalk that up to the new crazy amounts of pollution let off from the bombings and the building of the wall. Still, the moon is full, bright, and shining across Jane's smiling face. She's looking up, but you're looking at her, watching how she takes in the rare sight and lights up when she spots the Big Dipper. You want the joy in her eyes to stay there forever, but she quickly turns pensive as she looks at you, her eyes shifting nervously from you to the empty, dark street.

"Are we gonna get in trouble?" She asks, keeping her voice quiet so it doesn't echo across the buildings. You hide your gun away again and walk over to her, putting your hands on her arms.

"No, we're not gonna get in trouble. I know how to keep us safe, and we're not going far," you say and point to the fire escape ladder leading to the roof on the side of the high school. Still, you can feel Jane's anxiety as you hold her. You nudge her to make her look you in the eyes and smile when she does. "Do you trust me?" You ask. She thinks for a minute before nodding. "Then, let's go look at the stars."

She clings to your neck as you climb up the fire escape, not even looking down at the creaky metal under your shoes. You shush her gently and rub her back as you get higher and higher, assuring her that she's safe and you would never let anything happen to her. When you finally get up to the roof, you can see more of the night sky and even what's left of the city around you. Much of it is rubble or half-toppled over buildings, but there's still a lot left in the heart of the QZ. You wonder if that was on purpose. Jane gasping stops you from unraveling that thought anymore, and you quickly look down to see her wide-eyed and pointing at something on the horizon.

"Mommy, look," Jane breathes quietly, afraid it'll disappear if she speaks too loudly. It takes your eyes a second to adjust, but when they do, you can't help but smile at how the little flashes of light flit around. "Fireflies," she says. "Did you know fireflies light up like that so they can talk to their other firefly friends?"

"I didn't know that." You say, amazed at her intelligence, but she just giggles at the thought of knowing something you didn't. You guys lie on the roof together and gaze up at the moon. It looks bigger and brighter than you remembered. Maybe you've fully lost your mind and forgotten what the moon looked like. Either way, you're happy just to lie next to Jane and look at it with an appreciation you certainly didn't have before Cordeceyps took over your life. 

The night is cool and still a product of the transition between seasons. It always fascinated you how the world seemed to pause and take a breath before switching from summer to autumn. The cicadas are still out in full force, and you can hear them from wherever they took shelter after the bombings. A bird flaps its wings overhead and lets out a desperate call, practically begging for another bird to return its song. Distantly, you can smell cement being poured in an effort to keep you safe. You think you can smell the blood on the gun digging into your side too. The blood you spilled in an effort to keep her safe. How much farther will we each go to keep up the fantasy of safety? 

You're not sure how long you're out there, under the stars, with her, but you know your eyes get heavy, and your body relaxes for the first time in weeks. Jane rolls over to be closer to you, her fingers intertwining with yours, and you turn to look at her. She takes a deep breath and stares at you, the gears in her mind working overtime as she thinks. You wish you could peek inside her brain to understand how it all works, how she is as amazing as she is, but you can't. So, you wait her out. After a minute of just staring at each other, she squeezes your hand and smiles.

"I love you, Mommy." She says. Your breath catches in your throat, and for a second, you think you'll choke on your emotions. You lean down and kiss her forehead, squeezing her back.

"I love you, too, Janey." You say, but before the words can even leave your mouth, you hear the unmistakable sound of metal scraping metal. Someone is coming up the fire escape. You sit up and shield Jane's body with your own as you pull the gun from your waistband. You flip the safety and aim the barrel toward the noise. Your heart thrums in your face, and your ears ring as the scraping sound gets closer and closer. Jane whimpers behind you, and you reach back to touch her shoulder but stay laser-focused on the person coming for you. When the person comes over the ledge, your finger twitches to hit the trigger, but you stutter as you make out familiar features. His flashlight also helped protect him from catching a bullet.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Waters asks as he lowers his own gun that was pointed in your direction. You're not as quick to waver. "Lower your weapon," he says like it's a nuisance even to have to voice. "Don't be stupid about this, sweetheart." There's enough of an edge to his voice for you to comply, and he watches you as you put the gun on the ground and raise your hands. 

"What are you doing here?" 

"I could ask you the same thing. I got a call about some movement on this side of the QZ and was sent to check it out," he says. "You're lucky it was me. Anyone else would've shot on sight."

"Oh, so I should be thanking you?" You ask. Jane clings to your legs and shyly buries her head in your thigh, and you sigh as Waters glances between her hands and your eyes. "She wanted to see the stars." You answer his unspoken question and his Adam's apple bobs. 

"I should put you in lockup for breaking curfew. Not to mention you're armed." He says. It's more of a statement than a threat. He doesn't seem like he likes the thought of separating you two, even though he was more than keen on it when you first got here.

"So, do it," you say. "Do whatever you have to do, but you're not gonna touch her." He takes a deep breath as his radio crackles with someone asking for a report about your movement. He meets your eyes and holds your gaze while pressing the talk button.

"Nothing here. Must've been a cat or something. Circling back now. Waters out," he says, and you let out a shaky breath. He nods almost imperceptibly at you, and you nod back— a silent agreement. "Let's go." He says once the moment has passed. You grab your gun but show him how you release the magazine and pull the slide to spit out the bullet left in the chamber. He doesn't try to take the firearm from you. In fact, he turns his head when he sees you tucking it in your waistband again. Jane all but jumps in your arms, and the three of you silently climb down the fire escape. When you get to the bottom, you tell Jane to go inside and lie down. 

"I'll meet you in a second, okay? Adam is there if you need anything before I get back." 

"But, Mommy," she whines, and you shake your head.

"No but's. I need to talk to Mr. Waters. I'll be there in a second. I promise," you say, and she huffs but complies, disappearing behind the high school doors. Through the cracked glass, you can watch her walk down the hallway until she turns into the classroom/bedroom where you've been sleeping for the past few months. Once you know she's safe, you turn back to Waters. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"The world ended. I can't be a little nice sometimes?"

"Not when you wear that uniform," you say, and he chuckles. "If you're expecting something in return-"

"I'm not." He says, and you throw your arms up in defeat.

"Then, what? You had no problem throwing someone from our shelter in lockup for breaking curfew. Why is it different for me?"

"Do you want me to put you in lockup?" 

"Obviously not."

"Then, let it go." He says, and you roll your eyes before walking away from him and up the stairs. 

"Goodnight, Waters."  

"Owen," he calls, and you turn around to look at him. "My name is Sergeant Owen Waters." 

"Well, then, goodnight Sergeant." You say. With that, you slip back into the school and down the hallway, leaving him in the street. You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose, fighting an impending headache as your adrenaline finally starts to leave your body. You almost scream when you collide with another body in the hallway, your nails digging into the person's arms as they reach for you. 

"What happened?" Adam's voice pulls you from your shock, and you sigh as you push away from him.

"Why are you even awake?"

"Did you get caught out past curfew?" 

"It's none of your business."

"It is when Jane tells me about it." He says, and you scoff. It could be the leftover anger from your interaction with Waters or your frustration with this entire situation, but you can't hide it anymore. 

"You know, I got along just fine on my own for years. So, I don't need you to play Dad to my daughter just because the world ended, alright?" You spit, trying to push past him to crawl into bed with Jane, but he grabs your arm. Your nails dig into his skin until he lets go of you with a short cry, and you grip his wrist tightly as you back him into a wall. It would only take one quick turn for you to break it. "What the fuck is your problem?"

"Just because you don't want to see it doesn't mean people don't care about you and Jane," he says. "You didn't want help from anyone even before all this shit happened. You don't know how to handle it when someone cares about you, so you just push them away."

"What? You want to be the one to take care of us?"

"What if I did?" 

"Give me a fucking break, Adam."

"I'm serious," he pushes. You let your guard down enough for him to slip his wrist out of your grasp, but he doesn't make any other move to get away from you despite the fire seething in your veins. You're suddenly all too aware of how close you two are. You can make out the freckles littering his cheeks and the scar on his upper lip he told you about on your date a few months ago. You can't remember the last time you were physically this close to anyone else, let alone a man. "Something awful happened, and a lot of people died, and we did a lot of horrible things to stay alive. I know you get nightmares from it because I do, too," he says, and you clench your jaw. "But we survived. We survived and ended up in the same spot, and I care about you and Jane. I did long before any of this. Shouldn't that count for something?" He asks. Your mind is swimming, and you shake your head. His heart beats against yours, and you're close enough to smell the cigarette he smoked before bed. It's annoying how fast you lose track of the conversation when he's looking at you like this.

"If you ever grab me like that again, I will snap your neck. Do you understand me?" You ask, and he swallows hard.

"Yes."

You have no idea who moved or blinked first, but you know you were kissing him against the wall of an old high school before you could even realize it was happening. He tasted like cigarettes and mint and something familiar. 

And Jesus fucking Christ, if you didn't crave something familiar like that.

#when you’re lost in the darkness #look for the light prequel #tlou hbo #the last of us fic #the last of us x reader #the last of us angst

[daughterofthequeen]

Big Baby

Pairings: Poe Dameron x reader

Request: can you maybe do poe dameron with a reader who just had to get incredibly painful shots and he goes to the appointment with them and just comforts and takes care of them during and after? im goin thru it rn LOL. totally okay if not tho!! <3 /gen

Requested by: @slide-the-ferret

Warnings: Needles(a personal fear of mine as well), it’s just a fluffy little one-shot nothing major, crying?, use of (y/n) a few times.

A/N: Yesss anon I 100% get what you mean. Now excuse me I gotta go water my grass with my tears because I don’t have a Poe Dameron to comfort me, in my times of pain and need😭 and the scenario of why they had to take shots I just pulled that out my tushy, meaning quarantine shots are not canon. I hope you enjoy.

Quarantine physicals are the worst! Why do I keep putting myself in these positions. It’s an easy mission, they said. You’re only scouting, they said. We’re relying on you, they said. The resistance has been looking for a new base and it’s proving pretty difficult. Every available fighter is constantly on the go, checking out any leads, back to back. I try to stay away from those types of missions though, all because of one thing. The quarantine physicals. After coming back from an exploration of an unknown planet, said pilots are required to be quarantined until they are cleared of their physical. It’s to make sure no undiscovered illnesses or anything of that nature came back with the pilot. And I’m pretty sure you can guess what happens if a unknown illness does come back, the planet is marked off the list of “maybe” planets and put on the “stay clear” list. And hopefully one of the known cures the doctors have work on said illness, but people coming back sick is rare, basically nonexistent. Recently, a well hidden planet actually came up on our scopes and guess who had to check it out? That’s right. Me!

All other pilots were out on their own missions, when I had just landed from a previous one with the rest of black squadron. Lucky me. I mean don’t get me wrong I would give my life for the resistance, but if medical shots are involved, it’s a hard “no” for me. It’s bad enough we have to get them every time we have an regular annual physical so, why would I add more to the list willingly.

Anyway, I’m currently sitting in the waiting area of the doctors office, waiting for my name to be called for my own quarantine physical. Normally, Poe would be in here with me. Yes it is against the rules but Poe and I are a special case, he helps the doctors by keeping me calm enough to take the injections. Wait a minute. Where is Poe?! He should be here by now! I quickly turned on my wrist comm preparing to tell him to get his butt down here but just as I was about to, he comes running through the door out of breath.

“Right on time.”

“Sorry I’m late.” He said as he takes a seat next to me.

“You forgot didn’t you?

“No. No, I didn’t forget. I just-“

“You forgot.”

“Yeah. Yeah I forgot.” He said lowly and we began laughing. It doesn’t take much for Poe to make my worries go away. It’s part of the reason why he’s my best friend. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

“It’s ok, you made it, you have nothing to be sorry for.” Just as I said that my name was called, and my anxiety went through the roof. Walking into the medical room, me sitting on the bed and Poe sitting in one of the guest chairs.

“Let’s see, (Y/n) (L/n), born on (P/n), occupation-pilot, what’s the last 4 digits of your chain code?”

“7980”

“I see that you’re here for your vaccine shots?” The nurse asked sitting down my medical folder.

“Yes.”

“Ok just sit back and relax, I’ll be back soon.”

I sat back, but I could not relax. How could I relax, I’m about to get stuck with painful needles. How do people find this easy? I didn’t even notice my leg bouncing until I felt Poe lay his hand on my knee.

“Relax.”

“Why do people keep telling me that?” And for some reason he found that funny.

“Because your stressing yourself out, and because the more tense you are the more it’s going to hurt. So you might wanna take the doctors advice on this one.”

“I don’t understand how people are able to relax during these things. The size of the needle doesn’t matter, they all feel the same. Painful.”

“Because of how quick the process is, the only reason it takes so long for you is because you fight the nurses. I’m pretty sure they know you by name, and the only reason they ask is because of protocol.” He laughs.

“Oh shut up, Poe.” I said while folding my arms as the nurse walks back into the room. Poe took this as his queue to stand and grab ahold of my hand, to comfort me and just in case he had to pin me down I suspect.

“Okay. I seen that you have a physical coming up. Would you like to get the shots for that out of the way now or wait?”

“I’ll wait” I said nervously

“Well in that case you only have two injections today.”

“Only?” I mumbled.

“You ready?”

“I guess.”

“Here is number one” I always feel bad for Poe, with how tight I squeeze his hands through these appointments, I’m pretty sure they become sore after. But he never complains so I don’t know for sure. Then I feel the needle piercing each layer of my skin agonizingly slow, and the pressure of the liquid being push into my arm.

“And number two.” This time I pressed my face into Poe’s torso, which he welcomed. And the same painful sensations went through my arm again. And soon the aching will begin throughout my arm, keeping me from being able to use it.

“All done, let me type up your papers then you are free to go.” The nurse said while walking back out to her computer.

“See? It wasn’t so bad.”

“We go through this every time Dameron. Yes, it was that bad. I just held my breath this time.”

“Did it work?”

“Barely.”

“Well I say that’s a win either way.”

“Alright you’re free to go.”

“Thank you.” Poe helped me down of the medical table and we walked to my room. I knew the pain was on its way, my arm was already starting to ache.

We made it inside my room and I sat down on my bed as Poe started the same routine that always follows after any appointment that includes me getting stuck with metal sticks. It’s the same every time, he starts my shower, while I’m in the shower he goes to the dining hall to get us both a meal, by the time he makes it back I’m already under my blankets, he joins me, we eat, and I end up falling asleep. It’s a very relaxing process and very sweet. I hear the shower start and I immediately stand and grab some clean pajamas and head to the bathroom seeing Poe checking the temperature.

“Remember to the warm water run in your arm to help ease the pain.”

“Yeah I know.”

“Okay, I will be right back and don’t wait til’ you get sleepy to get out the shower. You got lucky last time.”

“I was fine.”

“If you call falling asleep and almost falling in the shower fine. You’re lucky I forgot to ask what kind of juice you wanted. Speaking of which, what’s your choice for today?”

“Surprise me. And I had it under control.”

“You keep telling yourself that. Hurry and get in before the effects start kicking in, I’ll be right back.” I listened and got in the shower, making sure to let the warm water hit my arm. The steam from the shower, being freshly clean, and the side effects of the medicine was all starting to kick in. My arm was now aching and I was get sleepy. I got out the shower put my pajamas on and made my way to my bed. All of a sudden I felt my bed dip which woke me up from a slumber I didn’t know I was in.

“Wake up sweetheart it’s time to eat.”

I grumbled as Poe helped me sit up and once he made sure I was awake enough to eat he sat down my plate on my lap. He then got situated beside me and we started eating. Out of nowhere a sharp pain went through my arm causing me to let out a groan.

“Medicine starting to kick in?” To which I replied with a nod. I handed him my plate and he sat both to the side. He stripped off his tops layer of clothing so he was comfortable and got the both of us under the blankets. I made my place on top of his chest as sleep was calling me, and he was not helping as his hand was gently scratching my scalp.

“Thank you for always being there for me Poe.”

“Always. You mean more to me than all the stars in the galaxy. And whatever you need no matter how big or small, I’ll be there to help as much as I can.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“We’ll in that case there is one thing you can do.”

“And what’s that sweetheart?”

“Find a way to keep those evil people away from me.”

“What evil people sweetheart?”

“The doctors and nurses. They’re always trying to stick me with something, I’m starting to think they’re enjoying it.”

“Baby it’s their jobs and it’s only to keep you and everyone else safe. I mean you gotta admit needles aren’t that bad, the only thing painful about it are the side effects.”

“Excuse me, I have you know that needles are not as painless as you think, I swear I can feel every single layer of skin that the needle goes through.”

“I have to get shots too you know and they’re not bad.”

“To you.”

“You’re just a big baby.”

“Whatever.”

“But you’re my big baby.”

“Go to sleep Poe.”

And we did, enjoying the peace that being in each other’s arms brought, until the next morning when we are woken up by the alarm that lets everyone know, it’s time to get the day started.

#requested #star wars x reader #star wars fanfiction #poe dameron fanfiction #poe dameron x y/n #poe dameron x you #poe dameron #poe dameron x reader

[jedinerd27]

The Moon and The Stars Moon Boys and the Reader  EVEN MORE incorrect quotes:

MASTERLIST

A/n: These help me get ideas while writing, so enjoy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steven: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Reader: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Steven: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Reader: Is it working?

Jake in the back ground: neither of these nerds get healthy sleep, fucking academics

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

steven: Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.

Reader: Marry me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reader: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Steven: I wrote you a poem.

Reader, already crying: You did?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marc walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Reader, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.

Reader, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reader: Hey,hun, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?

steven: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.

Reader: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?

steven: Can't really say I have.

Reader: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.

Marc now fronting: Sorry, Reader. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringing up anybody.

Narrator voice: They eventually had kids, and were named after the children of Cleopatra last queen of Egypt and Marc Antony

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

steven: That was so hot, Reader.

Reader: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenerate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets.

steven: I'm so in love with you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reader and Marc: We have a problem.

Steven: No, YOU have a problem. I have idiots who keeps making them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reader: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?

Steven: Depends. Is your bed comfortable?

Reader: Yes.

Steven: I'd sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reader: Two years ago, I married my best friend.

Reader: Steven and Marc are still mad about it, but me and Layla were drunk and thought it was funny.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steven : Where are you going?

Reader: To get MYSELF a gift cause somebody didn't get me one!

Marc: I told you I did! Its coming here on Friday!

Jake, knowing full well that Marc and Steven got an engagement ring: *eating popcorn*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Din: i went through an entire character arc during quarantine Din: i became more evil if you’re curious Reader: We're still in quarantine, don't worry, there's time for a redemption arc still! Din: i’m going to get worse on purpose

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reader: You love me, right, Marc? Marc: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Din, addressing his siblings: And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box. Reader: But – that’s just a trash can. Din: It sure is!

Ardere:*Muttering about how useless his siblings are as he builds an actual Suggestion box*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Athena, the reason spiders exists: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated. Jake and Reader: Killed without hesitation. Athena: No.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reader: Am I in trouble? Marc: Take a guess. Reader: No? Marc: Take another guess.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reader: You're right. Jake: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jake : Am I going too far? Reader: No, no, no. Baby, You went too far about seven hours ago. Now WE’RE going to prison.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

READER: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume? Jake: *chugs entire bottle* Jake: It’s perfume

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: DM OR COMMENT TO BE ADDED!!

@idkjj04 @anon1412 @atzlena @bernthalbabe43 @mew-mewhammer  @celestialissues @darkened-writer @iknowrocknroll  @kneelarmhstrung @livingandlivid @luula @missdragon-1 @sol2699-blog @celestialissues @scarlett-witchhh @ajeff855 @vendettavhs @jamiethenerdymonster scaenaxmusings davnwillcome  @leighanne03 @cc13723things@a-certified-whore   @officialholyagua   @blackcat-midnight-thatsme   @jay-alison @fandomqueen74   ems-alexandra    sleepystevenn  @simonsbluee​

@blackcat-midnight-thatsme​ @bex-tk1​ @dreag214​ @sailorsolar12​

@ems-alexandra @sleepystevenn  @seasonofthenerd​ @saahmi​

 @sokoviansorceress​  

#steven grant x reader #marc spector x reader #jake lockley x reader #moon knight x reader #steven grant #marc spector imagine #jake lockley imagine #jake lockley #steven grant imagine #marc spector #marvel #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #moon knight incorrect quotes #marvel x reader #mcu x reader

[indecentpause]

Find the Word

tagged by @oh-no-another-idea to find yellow, butter, soft, milk, and cream! thank!

cw: implied domestic abuse

from The Most Beautiful Puzzle:

yellow:

“Do you need help cleaning up?” you ask. [Josselin] peers around your shoulder at the little kitchenette. You turn around. It looks like Familiar only pulled that one paper towel out. “I’m fine,” he says. He leads you to the door, watching your bad ankle. “Who did that to you?” he suddenly asks. Your stomach drops to your feet, but hopefully you school your expression quick enough he doesn’t notice. “Nobody,” you say, as you reach out for the doorknob. “The same nobody who put that bruise on your wrist?” he pushes. You swallow and glance down at the healing yellow bruise on your pulse point. “Nobody,” you repeat, a little firmer. Josselin opens his mouth to push even further, but you interrupt. “Thanks for having me over so quickly,” you say. “I’ll give you a call tomorrow around 10:00 to let you know if I need help moving stuff.” “I--” he begins again. You gently shut the door behind you and struggle your way back down the stairs. To Josselin’s credit, he doesn’t follow you.

butter:

“Are you going in today?” Josselin finally asks. The Inspector lets out a long, heavy breath. The whole weight of his body is in his exhale. You slide your plate, still with one piece of buttered bread, in front of him. When he looks up at you, it’s like he feels so heavy he has to fight to move. You know that feeling far too well to be okay with seeing someone else you care about feeling that way. “My best friend’s parents always say the best thing you can do when you’re struggling is have a small meal,” you offer meekly. “The world sucks, but it’s a little less sucky on a full stomach.” The coffee pot burbles to life behind you as the water reaches the appropriate heat. After another long, slow, measured sigh, the Inspector looks up at you with a soft smile. “Thank you,” he says.

soft:

Josselin moves his hand from Familiar’s scruff to your knee. “I’m sorry,” he says gently. “I had a lot of bad run-ins with cops too, after my mom died. Not trouble with the law or anything, but just. Normal autistic kid in the foster system problems. Dona was the only one who ever treated me like I wasn’t just a troublemaker. He recognized I was just a fucked up kid who was trying my best in a system designed to fail.” You finally meet his eyes and say, “Thank you.” He smiles softly.

milk:

You apply at every private ambulance company but your own, for call taker, for porter, for anything that doesn’t put you on the street. No more paramedicine without proper PPE. Never again. On day four of your self-imposed quarantine, Josselin knocks on your bedroom door, and calls from the other side, “Meara, I know closed doors mean ‘go away,’ but this is really important?” You stand from the stack of milk crates that currently serves as your chair and let him in. He doesn’t step past the door sill. His face is creased up with worry and his phone is in his hand. “Josselin?” You swallow hard and nervousness jabs at your stomach. “Dona served the papers. That was just him on the phone. Your ex didn’t take it well.”

cream:

“They probably put [the cigarette] out at shoulder level. That seems to be the most common. So, if they were standing here…” He takes a step back and glances between the mark and his feet again. “I’d say they’re probably 5’9”, 5’10”? Not quite six foot.” “So. Average height for a man?” you say. “Yeah,” Josselin says, a little disappointed. “Not as helpful as I’d hoped. But at least we know we’re not looking for someone super tall or short, and we have at least one name to keep looking into.” He huffs a little breath out and it jostles the hair that’s fallen into his face with his excited movements. “I guess it’s a start.” The two of you make your way to the coffee shop down the street, pulling on your masks as you go. Plain surgical blue and white. It’s cool inside, not bright but not dim, either, just the right light level to hang around and read a book. It’s separated into two spaces by the bar where they keep the cream and sugar, just a little space big enough for one person to go through at a time. It looks wide and open and a little brighter on the other side.

tagging @kaiusvnoir @drippingmoon @nonsenseramble @avidink @nintendo-and-writeblr to find the words desert, stream, tree, snow, and rain, and share the excerpts! I did tag some new people based on someone else's 'like this for tag games' post so if you don't want me to tag you again, please just ask!

#writeblr #my writing #writeblr tag game #find the word tag #excerpt #wip #the most beautiful puzzle #sheraton academy #sheraton academy au #meara ryanne #josselin clearwater #donatien montague #inspector montague #familiar

[heymacy]

Hi Macy ! Head canon of the day? ❤️

hi anon!! 💛

i’m reviving stoner!gallavich for this headcanon 🍃 who’s surprised? definitely not me!

during quarantine, ian got really into puzzles. once covid started waning a bit, maybe earlier this year, he kind of lost interest and focused on more outside-of-the-house activities — maybe visiting some local Westside hangouts? discovering fun things in his new neighborhood? regardless of that though, the man still has a gigantic pile of puzzle boxes in the hall closet. untouched! blasphemy!

one night when they’re home relaxing, mickey brings out their bong and a mason jar of Purple Haze, a sativa-dominant strain that makes you giggly as fuck (source: me) — their original plan was to watch tv but then it dawns on ian: why not get super high and try to put a puzzle together? it’s guaranteed to give them a laugh and maybe at the end of the day they’ll both enjoy it enough that it becomes a beloved activity for them to do together. one can only hope!

three bowls later, they’re hunched over a pile of puzzle pieces, laughing and arguing over the best way to sort them. corners go in one pile, edge pieces in another, middle pieces off to the side for now, and — no! mick! edges go first. we gotta make the frame or else we’re just adrift in this mound of pieces!!

eventually they’ll get the frame together and move on to the middle pieces, which mickey insists on sorting by color. they do so diligently, but before long, the haze is gone and they need to re-up. but because they’re them, their second smoke break doesn’t end in puzzling, it ends in fucking.

but the puzzle’s still there!! in progress!! and they come back to it the next night, and the next, and the next, until it’s covering their entire coffee table and they have to weigh the consequences of using it as a coaster because where am i supposed to put my cup, ian? in my lap? on my head?

the puzzle gets finished a week later. debbie and franny come over for dinner and ian gives franny the honor of putting in the last piece. it’s a joyful moment, and mickey’s kind of impressed that the two of them actually finished the whole thing, all 1000 pieces. did he catch the puzzling bug? who knows. but the promise of more Stoned Puzzle Time on the horizon isn’t exactly an unpleasant thought!

stoned puzzle boys. that’s my headcanon of the day 🥰

#y’all i think i blacked out what happened? #how did these words get here? #idk but they’re definitely Words #ahskajdk #macy babbles #anons #headcanons

[readingslover]

Chapter IV

Previous Chapter: Chapter 3

March 20, 2020

@/HannaGrace posted a video

Liked by Selenagomez and others

While we’re looking for things to do at home, I thought it’d be fun to share behind the scenes of my dad’s acting debut. 🎾

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March 21, 2020

We had to push our songwriting session a few days back, to today, due to Jack being unable to join. However, I did some writing without Jack on the things that Aaron sent me. Austin should be here any minute now so I get everything ready for the sessions.

Right when someone, I guess Austin, knocks on my door I hear my phone ringing. I pick up my phone while walking towards the door. When I open the door. I see Austin standing there. I put my finger on my lips to tell him to stay silent while I answer my phone. “Hey, Kirsten. How are you?”

“Hey, Hannah. I’m doing good. How are you? How is it in Australia with the pandemic?”

“I’m good and healthy. We are shutting down production due to someone testing positive.”

“I hope it picks up again soon. I called because I needed to tell you something. I had a call with the management earlier today… and we thought it would be for the best if we canceled your upcoming tour.”

“I… I don’t know what to say. Can’t we wait a few more weeks? You know the tour starts in June we are only in March maybe in May this could be over.”

“Hannah, I know you don’t like to disappoint your fans but it’s for the best. This way you let them see that you care about everybody’s health and if I can be honest I don’t think this will be over in June.”

“Can”t we just postpone the tour until next year?”

“We could do the US and Brazil dates, but the international dates I would cancel. We don’t know how it’ll be in other countries so it’s for the best.”

“Okay. I will release a statement this week.”

We say our goodbyes and I hang up. I turn around to Austin who’s now sitting on my couch next to my guitar. I look at him to see him looking at me with sympathy. “I don’t know how you feel right now, but from what I’ve heard I also think it’s for the best. I know how much you couldn’t wait to be on stage again, but it’s the safer option.”

“I know it’s the safer option, Aus. Doesn’t mean it hurts less. I just hope that I can tour next year.”

After that, we talk for a while before calling Jack and Aaron. In the hours that follow, we write lyrics, compose some melodies and just talk. After we are done I ask Austin if he wanted to stay for dinner, I am making a very simple pasta carbonara.

--------

@/HannahGrace posted on Instagram

Liked by HannahNation and others

I'm so sad I won't be able to see you guys in concert this year, but I know this is the right decision. Please, please stay healthy and safe. I'll see you on stage as soon as I can but right now what's important is committing to this quarantine, for the sake of all of us.

------------------

March 30, 2020

We are now a few weeks further. Still isolated at home. Baz had sent us an e-mail to tell us that production will be pushed back at least 6 months. So until September. We could choose to fly back home or stay here in Australia. I decided to stay. It would be safer to not fly on a plane with hundreds of people who want to rush home as fast as they can.

During these past few weeks, Austin came over a lot. I know it isn’t safe, but being alone is driving me crazy, and apparently him too. We wrote further on some songs we started during the session with Jack and Aaron last week. I also went to his apartment a few times which is just one floor under mine.

One thing I also did this week was painting. I shipped over some stuff to entertain me and a painting set and a canvas were also in it. I painted a house with a river and a walk pad towards the house. I turned out better than I expected. When Austin saw it he literally asked me: “What can’t you do.” 

I also had a few calls with my mum and Selena. Sometimes Austin was with me when they called and they talked a few times over the phone with each other. Where Selena and Austin brought up him guest-starring on the Disney show Wizards Of Wavery Place. I did the same with Ashley when she called Austin when he was over. The first time I talked to her I couldn’t believe I was talking to THE Sharpay of the High School Musical trilogy. I think Austin could tell because he was just laughing when he hung up and saw my face. A few days later Austin told me that Ashley had the same reaction as me. 

The thing that I picked up on at Austin’s apartment was that he is starting to create a timeline with pictures of Elvis throughout the years on his wall. At first, I was taken aback but he explained, that it could help him better his Elvis impressions until we start filming again. 

Another thing that happened was that Austin asked me for another date. He called it a date-at-home. It went like this:

I was putting away my paint stuff while Austin inspected the painting I had just painted. 

“What can’t you do? I mean this is incredible for someone who is not taking lessons.”

“I guess I can do a lot of things.”

“You guess, or you know?”

“I know I pick up things really fast, but I didn’t think painting was something I would ever do.”

I walked over to where he was sitting on my sofa. I sit down and take a sip of my drink that was standing there since I started painting. Austin did the same before putting it down and turning to me.

“I want to have another date with you.”

“Austin, you know we can’t go anywhere. Everything is closed.”

“Yes, I know that. But I was thinking about a date-at-home kinda thing. Where we dress up. I come to pick you up. We go to my apartment and have dinner cooked by me.”

“I would love to do that, Austin.”

“Alright, then I will pick you up Monday at 6.”

After that, we just hung out. Did some exercises for his voice and wrote some songs.

So right now I am going through my closet trying to find something to wear that is chic and not too casual. I ordered some things online that arrived yesterday. I also texted Selena this morning when I woke up with my choices. We decided on a black longsleeved turtle neck with a skirt that is checkered and comes to my ankles. I keep my makeup to a minimal natural look.

A few minutes before 6 someone knocks on my door. It’s probably Austin to pick me up. I put on my heels before I open the door. When the door is open I see Austin standing there in a buttoned-up shirt and dress pants. He looks me up and down taking in what I’m wearing. “You look beautiful.” He says when his eyes meet mine. “Thank you. You polish up good.” I say when he holds his arm out for me to hook my hand in.

“If the shops were open I would buy you a bouquet of orchids and hydrangeas.” 

He memorized my favorite flowers. This is way too good to be true.

“Well maybe sometime in the future.”

He leads me towards the elevator and pushes on the button so the elevator comes.

“You know, I can perfectly do the stairs. Even in these heels.”

“I know, but I also know from my sister that even when you can do then after a while your feet will hurt as hell.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

When the elevator arrives we get in and stand in comfortable silence while going to his floor. The elevator doors open and we get out. He opens his door and lets me go in first.

Walking in I notice that there are no big lights on, just small table lights. In the middle of the table is a candle burning with on either side plates and cutlery. This really is a romantic date. “Austin, I love this,” I say when I turn to look at him. He visibly relaxes. “I hoped you would.”

He walks me to a chair and holds it out for me to sit in. Then he walks towards the kitchen where he gets a pot from the kitchen. He places it on the table and opens the lid. I’m immediately hit with the smell of spaghetti bolognese. “I hope a simple spaghetti is good for you?” Austin asks. “It’s perfect. It smells amazing.” I tell him while he fills my plate with the delicious-smelling meal.

During the dinner, we talked a lot. We talked more about our family and friends. And sometimes there were a few silent moments but not uncomfortable ones. We also drank a lot of wine. I think we are now halfway through our second bottle and have left the table for the couch. Austin is telling about working on the set with Ashley and how they both immediately clicked. I do have to admit, I’m listening but not really picking up on what he is saying. It could be because of the many glasses of wine that I had, but it could also be because I am unashamed staring at him. He probably thinks it’s me listening. How could I not stare? He looks so attractive in a suit. And his eyes are full of light when he talks about the things he loves. 

“You know, you can take a picture if you like to stare at me.” Austin gets me from my staring state. My eyes go wide open from embarrassment and Austin starts to laugh. It takes me a minute to recover from that. 

“I get it. I do look good.”

“Oh, you’re getting cocky now?”

“Well, I just caught you full-on staring at me for a couple of minutes without shame. It complements my ego.”

“Well try to look less graceful and then maybe I would actually focus on what you’re saying.”

“You think I look graceful?”

“You look every synonym of beautiful. So yeah, you look graceful, pretty, handsome, gorgeous, raveling, sparkling. I could go on if you’d like.” After I said that his cheeks flushed red. 

Oh god, are we flirting?

“Look who’s embarrassed now?”

“Nobody has ever used so many words to tell me I’m beautiful. Even if they are synonyms.”

“Well if something or someone looks beautiful I think you always have to say it to them. It could mean the world to them.”

“I have to say, Hannah. I’ve never met anyone quite like you.”

After he says that we look at each other while staying silent. We are sitting so close to each other that I can feel Austin breathe.

While I continue staring into his ocean blue eyes. I notice him leaning in, so carefully. Like when he does it too fast I would run away. But truth be told I don’t think I want to run. When his lips almost touch mine I can hear him whisper: “I wanted to do this for a long time.”

And then he kisses me.

It’s a slow, passionate kiss that leaves me breathless. When our lips don’t touch anymore he opens his eyes and looks right in mine.

“You have no idea how long I wanted to do this.”

And he kisses me again with even more passion than the last one

-------

Chapter 5 (OIW)

#austin butler fanfic #austin butler imagines #autinbutler #austin butler #swifties #taylor swift #elvis film #fanfic #taylornation

[golbrocklovely]

i don't really have anything else to post so...

here’s more of colby’s tweets from 2020.

i don’t have proof that these are his tweets, but believe me, they are his.

if it’s bold and italicized, it’s someone’s tweet to him.

if it’s in (), that’s just me commenting lol

added bonus: if they have a * next to them, that means it's been deleted

~~~~~~~~~~~

April 3 - the mind can turn into a dangerous place when you’re left alone .. please take care of yourself

April 7 - guess i don’t even have to try in the mugshot trend

April 8 - can’t help someone who doesn’t wanna help themselves

April 10 - i miss going to the creepy haunted places , as weird as that may sound

April 12 - can quarantine be over soon so i can get more tattoos

the older i get the faster time seems to run away from me

i get stuck in these phases that i can’t seem to escape !

April 13 - scary kids scaring kids

why am i trending #samandcolbyleaked

April 16 - been wearing sweatpants 90% of this quarantine

April 18 - as soon as it’s past midnight my mind automatically turns super deep

April 19 - you’re gunna wish you were never born jake webber

April 22 - i miss having those conversations that make you feel like you’re on another planet .. out of this world

i just want it to be me and you vs the world

@/brycehall: im a baby faced man

RT

@/brycehall: twin tingz

(why didn't he actually retweeted it lol)

April 25 - you know what always makes me happy and never lets me down? chick fil a baby

@/andrearussett: oh yeah well WHAT ABOUT SUNDAYS COLBY

... shhhh

April 26 - sometimes we just take things too far

on way to the hospital

April 30 - im on focused mode right now

May 1 - i overthink everything i do

May 2 - anyone wanna move to madagascar or something and start over

May 3 - having a girlfriend in quarantine would actually be pretty nice

(i FULLY expected this tweet to be deleted lol)

never in my LIFE has anyone called me “coalbi” LMAO

fan: why does colby in blue jeans look so weird

@/tarayummy: petition for colby brock to never wear blue jeans again

thank you all for the kind words 🖤

May 4 - it’s so funny how i beat jake i’m super smash bro’s every. single. time.

@/jakewebber9: how about we settle this on twitch colby? then everyone will know how bad you suck at super smash #pikachurules #kirbysucks

sorry for the late reply, almost didn’t see your tweet i forgot i couldn’t see you in my verified tab

@/jakewebber9: you’re on, tubby

May 5 - throughout my life bands and musical artists i listen to have come and gone … but kurt cobain always seems to stick around

May 7 - i wanna see you try breaking down the walls i’ve built

May 9 - mental health over EVERYTHING

who wanna share a paopu fruit ?

fan: Wtf is that

other fan: It’s a fruit from kingdom hearts. The legend says if you share it with someone, then your destinies become intertwined. You both remain in eachothers lives forever.

forever

May 11 - fan: Corey you always put a smile on my face no matter what I'll forever miss you

i feel sick 💔💔💔

i don’t know what to say. you are the opposite of your saying “under appreciated” and i hope you know that man. i miss you this isn’t sitting well with me at all.. just can’t believe this is actually real. love you Corey. RIP my friend

(this is all so see to all these years later...)

May 13 - it’s so beautiful seeing everyone come together in this time corey lives within all of us now, part of our hearts forever.

May 23 - i don’t get why you keep hiding from me if we’re destined to meet

May 27 - i wish that we can do it again

you guys are the best thing that ever happened to me

May 28 - seeing you hurt hurts me

June 4 - seeing all of my friends come together to support this movement is the best thing

June 7 - fan: keep the stubble

okay

jealous of the people who can shave their head id be so damn ugly

@/andrearussett: what’re the odds u do it

you do it first then i will

who’s feelin goofy today

unicorns > ponies

June 12 - our time together never feels like it’s quite enough

June 13 - the amount of cringey things i’ve posted on the internet

Love For Hire at your service. there’s a new boy band in town

it took me 23 years to grow facial hair

June 16 - it’s been a long time since i’ve dived off a bridge where’s elton at

(oh how times have changed lol)

June 17 - please be kind to one another. we need it right now

some things never change huh

i love my true fans. thank you! i love you so much. i see you. i appreciate you with all my heart. always remember

June 19 - taking a break this week to focus on mental health. see you next friday

June 22 - i’ll never be able to fathom the unconditional love dogs constantly give. it’s such a beautiful part of life

June 23 - missed my flight hi texas

fan: @/colbybrock has truly changed my life and i will love u forever for that.

fans like you are the reason i do what i do

June 27 - fan: does @/colbybrock need anything? water, food, a pillow?

chipotle please

June 30 - you ever feel alone in a big group of people ?

#colby brock #cb tweets #personal #text

[komatsunana]

Uhhhh, so I gotta admit defeat and admit I won’t be able to finish any of the projects I wanted to for NANA Week 2022 Day 7............ Sorry 😔😭

Instead I bring you a super sneak-peak of my long awaited (for me, anyway lmao) Nana Osaki mega meta analysis, in which I will be going through chapter by chapter discussing Nana Osaki as a character.  This analysis will... very likely be very long and potentially my magnum opus contribution to the NANA community.

Today, I can only offer you the rough draft of my introduction and I can only hope anyone else wants to see more one day... lol

Nana Osaki, the deconstruction of the girl we wanted to be

By no means is my first experience reading and watching NANA a universal one.  We’re in the midst of the NANA Renaissance at the time of writing this is in early 2022.  Times are different now than they are then.  Then being the year 2006.   I was 14 or maybe even 13, just about to graduate from middle school into high school.  

The thing to understand was I was raised in the era of “not like other girls.”  Not like other girls were different from other girls, or at least they thought they were.  Other girls were feminine, popular, and liked make up, fashion, dating boys and the color pink.  They were sluts.  And you were not, you were chaste and read books or were into some odd hobby that made you feel both ostracized from everyone else and better then them too.  You were independent, that’s why you didn’t have any friends… it wasn’t because you couldn’t make any ok!!  You weren’t like other girls, you were better.

Enter Nana Osaki.

She was cool and rebellious, she wasn’t like other girls.  She was punk and edgy.  Nana didn’t move to Tokyo for her boyfriend, she was independent.  She didn’t need a man, even if she had one she let him go.

Nana was who we wanted to be, us young not-like-other-girls who first read NANA.

Fast forward many years.  Ai Yazawa gets ill and puts NANA on hiatus.  Attitudes change, not like other girls unlearn the internalized misogyny (or don’t… or do but change their sense of superiority to some other target).  #MeToo, #YesAllWomen, #LoveWins, #BlackLivesMatter, #BringBackOurGirls, #IceBucketChallenge, #TakeAKnee, #FreeBritney [re-order later].  More people care about social justice but it’s been packaged and commodified in a capitalist hellscape.  A virus, a pandemic, lockdown and quarantines…  The world is forever different and NANA is still on hiatus.

But we can still reread NANA as many times over as we want in that span of time.  And you read it enough times to realize…  Nana Osaki the girl 13 year old you wanted to be?  You were her, you were always her.  You may not have dressed in vintage Vivienne Westwood, sing, or have a tattoo and piercings but you were her in all the ways that mattered.

Because just like you, Nana was just a scared little girl who wanted to be loved and was scared of rejection.

Unlike you time was frozen still for her, stuck between the pages of the manga.  You grew up and she did not… And maybe… she never did even between the pages of the manga.

My ultimate thesis statement for this analysis is this:  Nana Osaki character arc and journey through the series is not one of the usual character growth that we have come to expect in our narratives.  Instead what we have witnessed in NANA is the deconstruction of one Nana Osaki.  Like unraveling the wraps of a mummy, an unending nesting doll, or layers of an onion ala Shrek… Whatever metaphor you like best, Nana Osaki is deconstructed throughout the series* until what we find at the center of her character is the little girl her mom abandoned in the snow.

*this is not including the glimpses of Nana Osaki we see in the future.  Without the key events that lead to that moment, it’s hard to really say for sure one way or the other.

And the Nana Osaki we met in the prologue as well as the Nana Osaki we left on that final page of chapter 84…  She is fundamentally unchanged as a person, even if Nana’s life and loved ones expanded in all the chapters between.  Every action, decision, and belief that Nana holds from prologue to chapter 84, Nana always had the capacity to do and hold.

Other aspects of Nana to be discussed include:  her alcoholism, jealousy, possessiveness, and internalized conservative values within a punk sphere. [more to be added]

to be continued.................. Happy NANA Week, I cannot wait to bring you the rest one day.

#nana #nana week #nana osaki #osaki nana #i scream #my nana feels

[crazedlove]

Hi gloomy, I was scrolling through mindlessly when I stumbled upon your blog. It’s been a rough few days for me, I had to stop myself from replying to my favourite person because I was scared of saying something impulsive.

We dated once upon a time (it barely lasted a month), and broke up on a healthy note. They’re a very empathetic person, and feared that they’d end up falling in love with someone else while we dated, so they told me they weren’t ready for a relationship and asked to break up.

Of course I agreed! I didn’t want to make them uncomfortable or unhappy, and I respect their wishes. I understand them. But I can’t help but mourn what could have been.

We could have reunited after quarantine, I’d run into their arms and kiss them and hold them and tell them they’re safe. That they’re loved. That the disgustingly evil comments their supposed friends say are bullshit. That they aren’t a disappointment. That the terrible things they think of themselves aren’t true.

You know what’s true? My love for them.

My love stands strong in silence even if we aren’t dating anymore. Even if we never told my parents because they are homophobic. Even if listen to their voice gush about the asshole for a friend they’ve been crushing on for 8 years. Even if I read the texts they send of the asshole’s dry responses. Even if I tell them to shoot their shot cautiously. Even if I read how they wish the asshole would be more vulnerable with them. Even if I wish I was the person they still held close to their heart. Even if I wish I could express how much I cherish them for their everything. Even if I know I could treat them like the absolute divine being they are.

I’ll get to see them in person soon. We’ll both have masks on, but I’m just grateful I get to see in person the small sparks in their eyes when they’re happy.

Remember that we’re still close friends, and I want to be as supportive as possible, but I’m scared. Without the filter of a screen, I might say or do something that pushes them away from me again.

So this has been a long ask, sorry, but I need to know:

How do I keep myself from messing up my relationship with my ex?

-an unrequited lover

Hello! I'm so sorry to hear about your situation, it sounds so very painful.

I would first set some boundaries. If you don't want to hear about their crushing, make sure you tell them!

For the IRL meeting, I would suggest holding off on saying anything romantically charged, but make it clear you don't like their crush. Please don't confess immediately after, or it may look like you don't mean what you're saying about their crush. Tell them why you believe their crush is disrespectful towards them! Providing safety to your beloved is one of the most important things you can do!

From the way you describe things, it sounds like romance is off the table. Don't put yourself in situations that you know would mess with your head! Don't hold hands, or cuddle, or anything that could possibly strengthen those feelings. I know that it's hard, but if you want to get over those feelings then it's for the best!

I love you so much and I hope everything ends up being okay! I would love to hear about how things go!

#gloomy talks #ask gloomy #gloomy advice #unrequited anon

[ntriani]

OQM Playlist: Life during quarantine #19

With another Life during quarantine playlist, Nick Triani discusses the wearing of face masks.

To wear or not to wear It’s amazing how history repeats itself. This isn’t the first time that confusion has arisen as to the appropriateness of mask wearing. As Christine Hauser reported in the New York Times this week, when the 1918 flu pandemic raged through the USA, masks were “…called muzzles, germ shields and dirt traps. They gave people a “pig-like snout.” Some people snipped holes in their masks to smoke cigars. Others fastened them to dogs in mockery. Bandits used them to rob banks.”

Reading on through Hauser’s article, the parallels with opposition to mask wearing in 2020 are ridiculously familiar. They even had an anti-mask wearing league back in the day. Of course, the effectiveness of those masks from 1918 are hard to gauge. We do know in 2020 of the 19 countries that have made the wearing of masks in public compulsory over the last month, the spreading of coronavirus has fallen by 40% compared to those countries that haven’t introduced mask wearing as a rule.

Cautious is best But vanity sure is strange. Of course we know this is why Donald Trump wouldn’t wear a mask at first – it was an affront to his virility and manhood. It took the US President over a hundred thousand deaths of the people he leads before he realised mask wearing may save lives.

And what do we make of those Finns returning from holidays abroad and refusing  to be tested for Covid-19 on arrival at the airport? I wonder what level of dumb and dumber we’re at. They probably also refuse to wear a mask in public (and let’s not even expect a period of quarantine like their supposed to from these people.) The last peak of the virus back in spring came from those returning from abroad by the way (doh!)

It’s the classic couldn’t-happen-to-me syndrome. Well guess what? Shit happens. There is a hope against hope that the lockdown is permanently over and the old normal is around the corner.  For that to happen, we need that collective responsibility that was so admirable up to a month or so ago. Wash your hands, social distance and wear a mask. It’s not too much of a sacrifice when lives and livelihoods are at stake. We’re living it large right now one could say, making the most of the limited impact at this time of coronavirus on Finnish shores. At least in comparison to the rest of Western civilization.

The masked avenger Perhaps this is where we need our imaginations. As I’ve noticed this past week, my family and I are the only people wearing masks in our local supermarket. We are amongst a select few on public transport wearing masks. This means we’re sparing people from our germs,  but we’re not being spared from theirs.

But I can use my new found mask wearing anonymity to also play out my superhero fantasies. This mask wearing disguises much; most of my features and my expression thus muting my conversation. The mask also, might, just save my life and yours.

#covid #masks #OQM #Playlist #Nick Triani

[not-so-brief-advice]

Hi, I need advice about a situation surrounding me and an ex friend I have. I have bpd and got really attached to her after being attention-starved during quarantine and came on WAY too strong. (I’ve saying I love you within I week of knowing her.) she got really uncomfortable and when I noticed her start to distance herself from me I panicked really bad and would do really stupid and bad things to desperately try to win back her attention. She left me and I gave her a really half assed apology over text. I’m in all her classes this year at school and we keep being paired together and it’s really awkward. It’s been 2 years since we’ve been friends and I feel like I’ve learned and grown SO much as a person since then and I want to make it up to her really bad. I’ve prepared a SIGNIFICANTLY better apology that she actually deserves for all the stress and pain I’ve put her through but I asked my boyfriend about it and he says she *might* find my apology re-do to be a little obsessive which I really don’t want. I fully intend on leaving her alone after this, but I don’t think I’ll be able to move on without giving her my apology. We’re friends with all the same people and I’m scared she’ll talk shit about me. Should I apologize or does that sound too creepy?

hi anon! i am soso sorry that i didn’t see this, things have been going on and ive had to stay off social media for a bit. i presume that you have come to a soultion, and i hope everything turned out alright! lmk.

anyways, if you’re still dealing with it, this is my advice to you:

it’s great that you’re able to recognize it and that you want to apologize for what happened. seeing people from the past everyday is SO awkward, especially when theres history. i think apologizing is a great step, to relieve the tension between both of you guys... as you stated, you probably won’t end up being best friends, but you won’t have to feel like anything was left unresolved. it might mean a lot to her, as well be a weight off your shoulders. if you’re worried about her thinking of your apology as obsessive, maybe go over what you’ve prepared a bit and make it more casual. ie: “hey, i know we don’t talk… i’ll give you space after this… i just wanted to clear things so there wouldn’t be tension” so it doesn’t appear as if you are begging for forgiveness/crazy about her. i don’t think she’ll say anything if it’s chill in this way, esp since you seem extremely genuine; but people are different. don’t worry about what she’ll think for now, since you should look at what you can control— which is what i mentioned.

hope things will/did work out well, sorry again! if you need anymore advice, i’ll be more active from now on.

xoxo ❤️

#notsobriefadvics #not so brief advice #advice #friend

[bike42]

Wednesday September 6, 2023

We dodged it for 44 months, but COVID caught us at an inopportune time - on a tour in Ireland. Jeff started having a sinus headache last Saturday and by Monday he was pretty miserable (we chocked it up to the hot bus ride). He had a long nap when we arrived at the B&B, but rallied for a walk to the castle and the group dinner. The next day we were on the bus all day with our M&M tour. We popped into a pharmacy at lunch that day to buy Sudafed and COVID test kits. The Sudafed gave him immediate relief and he functioned well the rest of Tuesday.

Wednesday morning we got up, felt ok but each did a COVID test. His was immediately positive - similar to when Lori was teaching Ryan and I how to test and he went positive just before Christmas 2020. My test was negative and I felt fine. I went down to breakfast to find our tour leader, Peter, and grab a tray for the now quarantining JT. Since he’s had symptoms for over three days now, we we’re hopeful he’d be able to travel with the group on Friday when we head south to the next hotel.

He insisted I go out for today’s tour, so I did. The tour was several spots around Sligo. We started at Carrowmore Megalithic Cemetery. It took me awhile to figure out where we were and what we were seeing, but we had a fantastic guide that led us to different Stone Age tombs built by Neolithic farmers. She was a great combination of historian and archaeologist! A similar story to other places in the world where the farmers came and pushed indigenous people inland.They grew cereal crops and domestic farm animals (cows, sheep and chickens).

They estimate probably 50-55 monuments were originally here, some were likely dismantled over the years. Inside the tombs they found grave artifacts: remains (primarily cremated), quartz crystal, tools and pieces of pottery, jewelry from sea shells, pins made from deer antlers.

The tombs were desecrated in the 1800’s, later part of the 1900’s archeologists came and discovered that these were actually Stone Age monuments. There are 250 tomb monuments in Ireland - 100 in Sligo area

Our guide talked about the surrounding area, and pointed out Benbulben, a flat top mountain across the valley - she said no monuments there as the sun and moon don’t intersect. She also pointed out Knocknarea, the mountain with a very large carin monument on top, which led to her story about Queen Maeve. Legend says she’s buried in the monument standing up. Probably largest passage tomb that’s been left undisturbed.

The coolest passage tomb was the Listoghil chamber. Twice a year, the sun illuminates the perfectly aligned stones - Oct 31st and April 30th. The guide shared a photo from several years ago (see photo). They don’t see it every year because normally, Ireland can go many days without seeing the sun!

Our next stop was the Strandhill Peninsula for a stop at the Atlantic Ocean. We had two hours to walk the beach and have lunch on our own. Supposedly, this is the best place to surf in Ireland, and there were surfers out there but the waves weren’t that great. I walked the beach and dunes for a bit, overlooking a little RV park with Knocknarea in the background. I joined a few others in our group for a panini and a pint and enjoyed the outdoor patio on the beach.

After lunch we drive to another tomb monument - this one with more extensive stonework. It occurred to me that all of these would be more spectacular to be viewed from above! James brought his guitar along and sang two songs for us there … one called “Buried in Stone,” which he wrote after his brother disappeared in Montana.

Our last stop of the day was “Atlantic Sheepdogs,” for a spectacular talk by Martin and a performance of herding by his amazing 4-year old Border Collie, Moe. She was wicked smart and clearly takes her job seriously! The farm has also dedicated itself to conservation of some ancient breeds of sheep that were on the verge of extinction. I was surprised to learn that the value of wool is practically nothing! These sheep are bred primarily for meat these days.

We drove through Sligo and the bus stopped to let people off if they wanted to stay in town. I rode back to the hotel and Jeff was feeling pretty good and ready to get out and get some air. It was just over a mile walk back down to town, a nice walk. We strolled along the river and found a spot we could sit outside and have a burger. We passed on the milk shake, but our waiter convinced us to try the sundae with hot caramel and crumbled biscotti cookies. Yum yum.

We walked back to the hotel and Jeff went back to quarantine in the room and I joined most of the group for a 90 minute M&M show. It was so cool to be sitting right in the front and watch their fingers fly over the guitar strings. Peter joined them for a few tunes with percussion, and even sang an Irish tune for us.

Lots of talent in the room. Several people were headed out to the pubs to find more music, but I was starting scratchy throat and headache so I headed back to the room to try to sleep.

[moonlitsilv]

so quarantine happened. i think ive been spiraling. Not in the worst case scenario but def down hill. it’s kinda funny how things change..

I wanted to post my life in order, (or out of order, however bc I was going to date them anyways) just to express myself, in a fun way. So I’m trying to convince myself not to feel silly, sharing my life all at once or not in real time.

Clearly I’m struggling with patience. I used to be the most “patient” girl in the world. Or maybe it was people pleasing. Well now the person I want to please the most is myself. Whoever doesn’t support me can leave. Even though I don’t know what path I’m carving, I’m going to do my best.

From now on I’m going to be kind to myself, welcome positivity, and ignore negative judgement.

So whoever needs to hear this (bc I really did),

I’m finding it in myself, along with the caring people that have expressed this to me:

I hope you love yourself because you deserve it, you’re worth it, and you’re most important.

I hope you continue in life with confidence and courage to accomplish your dreams.

Don’t get lost in your ego and always show compassion.

But hey we’re human we make mistakes, so if that may happen I hope you forgive yourself, grow, and learn from life.

That’s what we’re here for , that’s how we keep moving forward.

-with all that said I wish to stop feeling stuck in my life and I’m going to push myself to be happy again…

So here it is,

I want to welcome you all to my raver era [if it doesn’t stop being my lifestyle haha] !

-Silvia <3

June, 2023. 10 am.

[0613magazine]

200912 CNN

BTS on making music, watching Netflix and working out during quarantine

BTS, they’re just like us – except with millions of fans and number one hits.

Members of the international K-pop sensation that is BTS were supposed to be on tour right now. But due to the Covid-19 pandemic, they’ve had to press pause.

Aside from releasing their latest hit single, “Dynamite,” the group told CNN in an interview on Friday they’ve been spending a lot of time in recent months streaming shows, like a lot of us.

“We’re working out, watching Netflix and learning to play instruments. I think we’re doing a lot of self-development, and also just trying to stay active,” j-hope said.

Jimin added, “We’re working on a new album. Although we cannot say for sure how concerts are going to go, we’re still working very hard. Personally, I don’t think I’m doing a lot of things myself.”

The global pandemic hasn’t slowed down the group’s success.

“Dynamite,” their first full English song, currently sits at the top of the Billboard Hot100 chart for the second consecutive week. This makes BTS the first South Korean pop act to ever achieve such a milestone, earning praise from fellow artists like Justin Bieber.

V said in a separate interview on Saturday that the success of “Dynamite” is thanks to their devoted fan base, nicknamed the BTS ARMY.

“This is truly amazing,” he told CNN. “We are sincerely so grateful. You made our dream come true. Thanks to ARMY.”

BTS, which stands for Beyond the Scene, said they felt they needed give their audience new music amid these challenging times.

“If everything went according to plan, we’d be on tour right now, but the pandemic has changed everything. So we thought about what we can do, and what we can do best at this point, in this situation. Everyone is going through such a difficult time, so we wanted to cheer them up,” SUGA told CNN.

Band members Jin, SUGA, j-hope, RM, Jimin, V and Jung Kook, still feel like their rise is a bit of a “pinch me” moment.

“It still doesn’t feel 100% real because we can’t perform in front of ARMY. We do and see all these things, but we don’t have the opportunity to perform,” Jung Kook said.

The group has been frequently compared to The Beatles, even breaking one of the English rock band’s records with three Billboard No. 1 albums in a single year.

j-hope said being compared to legendary group is humbling.

“It’s such a great honor to be mentioned along The Beatles. We want to keep doing our own music and show our own colors,” j-hope said. “As big fans of The Beatles, we are thankful for such association and we want to work even harder to put out great music. We will try to make the name BTS sound as cool as The Beatles.”

The group’s worldwide recognition grew in 2018 with their albums “Love Yourself: Answer” and “Love Yourself: Tear.” Beyond their accomplishments together, they’ve also scored numerous hits with other artists like Halsey, Ed Sheeran, Nicki Minaj and Fall Out Boy.

Their massive fan base is like no other.

But the group acknowledges their fame, comes with some tradeoffs.

“In Korea we call it fame tax, which we have to pay,” RM said with a smile. “As a citizen we have to pay a fame tax and we always pay it. You know, you have some positive sides and some negative sides as well but it’s our destiny.”

Jin said although he’s recognized everywhere he goes, making South Korea proud makes it all worth it.

“There are rare occasions when I inevitably have to go out. And when I do, people come up to me to say they’re really glad to see me, and that they’re really proud of how more people got to know about Korea because of us,” he said. “In those moments, I get a sense of fulfillment and feel like I’ve actually shown something to them.”

That BTS ARMY has helped propel them to shatter records across the music industry and also came to their defense on social media last year when the group was shut out from Grammy nominations.

The group is more hopeful for a nod next time around.

“We grew up watching the Grammys, so we know of its significance. And it would be incredible if we could be nominated,” SUGA said. “We never had a Grammy in mind when we first began, but it’s now become a more tangible dream. It’s something we do want to accomplish, of course, but it’s also not something we can make happen just because we want it. What we can do is to keep doing the best we can at what we’re doing.”

Source: CNN

#2020 #bts #cnn

[phawareglobal]

Gary Bruce - phaware® interview 373

Pulmonary hypertension patient, Gary Bruce, discusses how meeting and marrying another PH patient changed the trajectory of his life and how she inspires him to battle his rare disease.

Hello. My name is Gary Bruce. I live in Little Elm, Texas, which is about 30 miles north of downtown Dallas. I live here with my wife Deborah. We've been here in this location now for about three years. We enjoy it. It's a nice little quiet community. In 2016, I attended my first PH Conference. At that time, I had been dealing with pulmonary hypertension for about four years. I was so excited about attending the conference, because I had waited two years to make it. My PH was really, really out of control at that time. I didn't really understand what PH was.  I was really depressed and fighting for my life, basically. I basically was trying to give up hope. When I got to the conference, and I saw people like me, I lost it. Strange thing happened the following morning, I met a young lady by the name of Deborah. We had a little conversation at the breakfast table. There was something about her that was different, with her fight with PH. When she walked away I said, "I've got to talk to her again." Later that evening we met up. We started talking. We spent about four or five hours that night, just sitting and talking. Now, today, she's my wife. We're both fighting PH together. We're going into our sixth year of marriage. We're both still fighting as hard as we can, to battle this disease the best way that we know how. Deborah is a strong woman. She's a strong PH fighter. Actually, we both lead the support group here in Dallas area. So we're both very much involved with pulmonary hypertension. In April, we had our fifth year anniversary, and we went back to the Omni hotel to celebrate. We went to the restaurant and we sat in the same booth, the same section, and that was amazing. What really happened was that I was pretty depressed at that time. I wasn't sure if I was going to live much longer. I basically had given up. I was into another marriage that ended up in divorce. After that, I took control of my life. I took control of my medications again. I started taking care of myself better. I listened to the doctor. I did exactly what they asked me to do. I started trying to lose weight. At that time, I was up to like 270 pounds. I was struggling. Every step I took I was really fighting to breathe. They told me, "If you don't change the way you're doing things, you won't be here." So I dropped about 40 pounds. I take my medication the way it's prescribed. That helped a lot. Deborah put a smile on my face that hadn't been there in years. Deborah is so loving and caring about others, and she took me and told me, "Look, you can do this. You can fight this." She encouraged me to go daily and do things that I needed to do. Still today, when I get lazy and don't want to do anything, she encourages me, "Hey, you got to do this." One of the things she asked me to do is don't leave her. I don't feel as great right now, as I did before the quarantine, but I'm trying to go back and reignite myself. I've got to lose about 20 more pounds. Right now, the first I would say is, find a support group, even if it's on Zoom. Find someone that you can speak with, daily, or once a month, whatever you need, and share your feelings with them, and do it that way. I've got a life coach. I'm working now a little bit. I'm beginning to walk every other morning. It's a process. But I still take my medication. I got behind on my doctor's appointments during the quarantine and I'm trying to play catch up with that. Matter of fact, I just had a light heart scan two weeks ago, and they were shocked at my numbers. They was much lower than they expected. So I'm happy with the results. I just encourage people to never give up. I say I'm going to fight and fight until I can't fight no more. It's hard, but we have to. I really do miss my support group. We're doing it on Zoom, and it's not the same. It's not the same. Right now we're working really hard to try to get back so we can encourage them, because it's like family. Long term, for Deborah, and myself, Deborah, she accomplished something that she always wanted to do, here in Texas, during the quarantine, she got certified to become a teacher. Now she's a teacher at 6th and 7th grade level. She's working outside of the home. I look at her, she gets up every morning at 4:30 and works out. She goes to the gym. Those are the things that keep me going. If she can do it, I can do it. I don't go with her every day, but she encourages me to get up and move around. I would say to never give up. Never look at the bad side of it. Find someone that is encouraging, and willing to fight the fight. Not exactly like I'm fighting, but similar. I found out, being a support group leader, that I had a lot to offer patients. It makes me feel good when I speak to someone, or I see someone, and I can just put a little smile on their face, or encourage to move on with this dreaded disease that we're fighting. That's my goal to help them evolve and get to the next level. Because it's hard. It's hard. I get so much pleasure out of helping people with this disease. We have to keep encouraging people, and we just have to keep sticking together, and doing things together, positive things. Don't look at the negative, look at the positive. One of my lung doctors said, "If I was going to transplant you, I would have done it eight years ago. You're doing so well, I don't even think you need it." That was about two months ago. I'm going to keep fighting with this thing. I'm going to keep doing what I have to do. And I'm not going to lay down. My name is Gary Bruce. And I'm aware that I'm rare. Learn more about pulmonary hypertension trials at www.phaware.global/clinicaltrials. 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