#we’re ptsd buddies

[ghostboneswrites2]

I really resonated with Daryl x abused reader could you maybe do one where the reader doesn’t let their past define them and shows little signs of abuse like they’re super cheery and happy and doesn’t let their past get them down and but maybe reader has a ptsd attack by Daryl after he confronts her about being so happy especially in an apocalypse and they just realize they relate to each other even if they’re personalities are so drastically and Daryl just comforts reader 🫂

The Painted Bunting

Era: Greene Farm

Summary: Daryl is paired with you on the search for Sophia and snaps at you after growing tiresome of your seemingly endless kindness.

Note: No more laptop for now since the cord broke so I hope you’ll all forgive the lack of my usual post formatting :(

Warnings: profanity, mentions of past abuse, grumpy sassy asshole Daryl (the man we originally fell in love with)

Banner credits on this post

        Shining hair in the rays of the sun, an infectious laugh, a beaming grin that never seemed to dissipate. A glowing beacon in the dark. That was what you were. And, admittedly, it got under his skin a little, so Daryl tended to avoid you. You weren’t oblivious to it, but you accepted it for what it was. After all, you couldn’t win them all, right? 

        You had always been that way; soft, gentle, graceful, kind. If you had never let the past change that for you, you certainly wouldn’t let present day events change it, either. Maybe the world had become a nightmare, but that didn’t mean you had to be one too. 

        Daryl thought that what really gritted his teeth about you was that through everything that had happened, you never changed a single bit. Not like the others had; not like he had. 

        After the world fell, after the camp by the quarry was overrun, after the CDC, after Sophia had gone missing, you remained exactly the same. For all of the afore mentioned, Daryl found you to be one of the most vexing people he ever had the displeasure of interacting with, second only to Shane, who could have easily been traded off for his own brother, Merle.

        Needless to say, he was peeved at the idea that you were sent on search duty with him after he hurt himself in the ravine. Rick decided a buddy system would be beneficial to all of the search party participants, and you volunteered to tag along, because of course you did.

        You weren’t so much looking forward to spending so much one on one time with the man, yourself. You didn’t necessarily have an issue with him, but you were all too aware of the issue he seemed to have with you. Really, you couldn’t relate to him at all. Not everyone around camp was perky and sweet, and rightfully so, but Daryl was such a brooding presence and you just couldn’t put yourself in that frame of mind.

        The two of you had set out just after dawn and the hours ticked by as you made friendly conversation and Daryl occasionally offered you a measly grunt in response. 

        “Do you think we’ll find anyone out here?” You asked. “I mean, aside from Sophia. I know we’ll find her.”

        “Pro’ly better if we don’t find nobody else.” Was his first verbal response all day. You shrugged. 

        “I don’t know. Could be good. I’m sure there are people who could really use some help.”

        “Ain’t our problem.” He argued. “Gotta look out for our own. The hell you worried about helpin’ strangers for when we ain’t even found the little girl we’re after?” 

        “Oh, no.” You chuckled nervously. “It’s not that I was just —“ You cut yourself off, sensing an oncoming ramble. “I didn’t mean it like that.” 

        “Mm.” He hummed, pausing his footsteps to take a breath and scan his surroundings. After a moment, he continued forward, and you followed without question . Admittedly, you had no clue how to track, so if anything you were there in case he got hurt.

        “So, if someone needed your help… You wouldn’t help?” You asked innocently.

        He whipped around to face you, the aggression behind his motion drawing you to a dead stop.

        “The hell’s your problem, huh?” He snapped. You blinked. “It’s the end of the goddamn world and you’re askin’ me about some hypothetical moral dilemma? Let me tell you somethin’, girl; ain’t no damn morals in the apocalypse. Ain’t no more law and order! It’s just us,” he paused, sending an arrow through the skull of a walker that had crept up behind you. You flinched and turned to watch its carcass thud on the forest floor. “And them.” He concluded. 

        “I—I was just making conversation.” You mumbled timidly. 

        “Why? It’s not a social call! We’re out here to find that little girl. This is why I didn’t need no damn babysitter.” He complained.

        “I was just trying to be nice.” You defended.

        “Nice?” He scoffed. That simple word seemed to trigger something in him as his eyes lit up with aggravation. “Don’t you get it? It ain’t about bein’ nice anymore. It’s about survival. Got dead people standin’ up and eatin’ people and you’re worried about bein’ nice. Walkin’ around passin’ out water and food and gigglin’ with everybody like we ain’t got a bunch o’ dead bodies stumblin’ around us just waitin’ to take a bite out.” 

        Maybe it was the way he raised his voice, or the way his eyes shot flaming daggers of fury right through your chest, or the way he threw his arms down and spat words at you like you were some puny, wretched little thing. You didn’t know what it was, but somewhere in the whirlwind of heated exchange, his voice slowly blended together with the other voice — the one that still lived in the back of your mind and ate away at you every day.

        The voice that belonged to your own father, the one person who struck true, genuine fear in you. Before you knew it, that old sensation of real terror, the one you’d buried somewhere deep inside you and covered with cement, was breaking free and engulfing you. 

        You were frozen, like a fawn under the scrutinizing gaze of a predator. The humid air felt like a thick paste as you struggled to gulp it down and catch a breath. At first, Daryl felt inclined to criticize your tears as a show of weakness, fragility, inability to handle a little raise of the voice. He quickly noticed, however, that this was no simple burst of reactionary emotions. No, this was something much deeper and it was rattling you to the core. There was a distant look in your wide eyes, one that he came to recognize, even if it took him a minute. 

       He shifted on his feet, scanning you, unsure how to intervene. 

        “Hey.” He eventually called out, but it was clear his voice wasn’t reaching you. This was the final piece of confirmation he needed. You were having an episode, the kind he experienced a few times when he first got out of his father’s abusive home. 

        He sighed and grabbed your trembling shoulders. You jumped but you didn’t flee or strike out. His touch seemed to dry you out and shrivel you up like a raisin. You shrank into yourself, hyperventilating. 

        “C’mon.” He said softly, ushering you done to your knees. “Hey. Ya gotta breathe.” 

        Your breathe only became more shallow and forced. Tears poured down your cheeks as your chest got tighter. 

        “Just breathe. That’s the only way it’s gonna stop.” He urged. He went to grab your wrists but you panicked, snatching your arms away and falling down on your back. 

        “No! Get away! You can’t do this anymore! I’m not a little kid!” You cried out.

        You were making quite a bit of noise by this point, between the gasps for air and the sobs. He crouched over you and grabbed your shoulders. 

        “(Y/N), ya ain’t there anymore. Wherever it is, it’s gone. In the past. It’s just you and me right now, and we ain’t there. We’re here.” He soothed, hoping his voice could find you somewhere in the abyss. “Just listen. Ya hear that? It’s a Painted Bunting. Look,” he pointed up into a tree at a bright multicolored bird, similar in its beauty to a parrot, only much smaller. “It’s right up there. Ya see it?” 

        Your breathing had started to slow down now, those shallow inhales finally reaching a little deeper within. Your eyes lazily followed his finger to the bright little bird singing a flute-like melody. 

        “Ya see it?” He asked again. You managed to nod once, still holding your arms tightly to your chest as you laid flat on the bed of leaves and twigs. He took a moment to see you, to really take you in, and he realized you were beautiful. Not just in the way a pretty girl with a nice personality was beautiful, but in a way that left so much of who you really were unsaid.

        “Just watch it.” He whispered, glancing back up at the feathered creature, hoping it would stick around long enough to bring you back down to earth. “They take two years to look that pretty. Did ya know that?” He asked, glancing back down at you. Your eyes were still on the bird, but you shook your head no. “Yeah. Only the males, too.” He added. “Otherwise, they’re just kinda greenish and yellowish.” 

        Once your chest was rising and falling with a steady rhythm, you finally looked over at him. Humiliation began to set in. You quickly sat yourself up and brushed the dead foliage away from your clothes and hair. 

        “I’m sorry.” You mumbled. “That hasn’t happened in a long time.” 

        “‘S okay.” He shrugged, standing himself back up as well. “Happens.”

        “Yeah, we’ll, it shouldn’t. Not nowadays.” 

        “Can’t help it when it does.” He assured you. “I get it.”

        “Maybe I should head back.” You suggested.

        “We both can. If ya wanna. It’ll be dark soon anyways.”  

        “I don’t wanna make you lose your trail or.. Ya know.” You fidgeted with the hem of your shirt.

        “Nah. Ain’t no use after dark, anyways. We’d just be stumbling in circles and bumpin’ into each other.” He insisted, contrastingly soft in comparison to before your episode. 

        “Oh. Right.” You nodded. Just as you got ready to turn back toward the farm, he cleared his throat.

        “Ya wanna talk about it?”

        “About what?” You turned back to him. He shifted his weight anxiously, chewing at the inside of his cheek. Offering an ear to listen was at least ten yards outside the perimeter of his comfort zone. “About that?” You asked. “That was nothing. Just something stupid that happens sometimes. That’s all.”

        While his tone was much kinder and warmer than before, yours was cold, dull, and tired. Those episodes could take a lot out of a person, and he was no stranger to that fact. 

        “Sometimes it helps.” He said. “Talkin’ about it. Makes it a little less…” He trailed off, searching for the word he wanted. “Less, uh… Consuming.”

        “It never gets less consuming.” You argued.

        “It does.” He insisted. 

         “And how would you know?” You asked, impatience lacing your words.

        “I used to get ‘em too.” He admitted. “Been awhile but… I just get it. That’s all.”

        You studied him. In all the weeks you’d spent around the man, you’d never seen him so genuine, or really so open. He never seemed to look at you like another person. You were always just another load on his shoulders. 

        “My dad.” You finally spoke. He nodded.

        “Me too.” 

        “I’m sorry.” You sympathized.

        “Me too.” He agreed. 

        “We should go.” You sighed, turning away again. 

        This time you didn’t wait for him, you just started walking, until he called out behind you; “‘M sorry.” You stood still, but you didn’t look back. He knew he had your attention, though, and he knew he had to say something else. “I know I did it this time. I shouldn’t’ve yelled at ya like that.”

        “It’s okay. Maybe you were right.” 

        “Nah.” He shook his head, taking slow steps to catch up to you. “I wasn’t. It’s good. Ya didn’t let none of that shit make ya bitter. Keep it that way. Else you’ll end up a grumpy redneck.” He joked. You suppressed the small smile that tugged at the corner of your lips.

        “Maybe the grumpy rednecks of the world got it figured out.” You said, walking again once you felt him catch up. 

        “Nah. I don’t know shit about shit.” He admitted, eliciting a small laugh from you. You shook your head.

        “I don’t think anyone does.” You reasoned.

        On the hike back to the Greene farm, you two shared some light banter, some stories of the past, some laughs and extended looks. He grew finder of you that day. The critical glares he’d send you from a distance were replaced with admiration and respectful nods. You’d often catch him looking and flash him a big smile, waving at him before you attention was drawn elsewhere. 

       You both learned that maybe the two of you were differently colored fruit, but you grew from the same tree, and you weren’t so different after all. And, that sentiment was never lost or forgotten. It carried with you for as long as you two knew each other. 

Taglist || Masterlist

tags: @kissmeunicornbaobei @thesadcatt0 @clairealeehelsing @duckybird101 @tmntfixationxreader @ryoujoking @blackvelveteen1339 @yondus-girl @ladylincoln @sunshinebug9 @saylum559 @yoowhatthefuck @duffmckagansbandana @celtic-crossbow @virginsexgod69 @dazzling-roaring-20s @l0kilaufeys0n7 @uhnanix

#daryl dixon #daryl x reader #twd daryl #the walking dead daryl #daryl x female reader #daryl twd #daryl fanfiction #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl x you #daryl x y/n

[throneofsapphics]

old faces, part seven

Rowaelin x f!Reader

Summary:  you and Rowan meet again after seven years, and deal with the fall-out of a secret. 

Warnings: mentions of death, drinking, flashbacks/ptsd

Word Count: ~6k 

A/N: we’re starting to pick up a bit now! some time skips

series masterlist 

Seven days in the castle. You enjoyed breakfasts with Aelin and whatever members of her court were around, evenings with Fenrys and co, more chances to interact with Ceri and her friends, free time to try and figure out your damn way around the city, but you were going crazy. Surrounded by people at all times, even if they were kind, exhausted you. 

As much as you tried, there wasn’t a truly private place in this castle. Maybe it was paranoia, but you knew someone could always be watching - there could always be eyes. 

But, there was a pattern. Halle would be on edge if someone was nearby, if there were prying ears, and she only fell into a deep sleep if it was the two of you - or if it seemed private enough. You trusted her judgment. The judgment of a cat. Then again, she wasn’t an ordinary cat. 

She had her own kind of magic. That’s a secret you decided to keep as long as possible. Even if magic was freely accepted here, her kind could easily make her a target. 

For gods sake she was buddies with fleetfoot. Aelin had been worried in the beginning, but her dog bounded right up to Halle. 

Fleetfoot sniffed, tilted her head, and licked Halle’s face. The cat didn’t hiss or swipe, instead headbutting her. 

Aelin gave you an incredulous look. 

“She’s never met a dog.” 

“Fleetfoot usually doesn’t make friends with cats,” Aelin turned back towards the duo, “you’re special Halle.” A small purr, and yellow eyes stared right at her, as if to say; ‘obviously.’ 

Aelin snorted and shook her head, ‘if Fleetfoot’s on her side, nobody should bother her.” 

‘I’d like to see them try,’ the small hiss said. Seemed to say, you corrected yourself. The two of you couldn’t communicate, but it was easy enough to read her expressions. 

One hand holding up your book, she rested in your lap. Rowan was in the room, sitting across from you, just having finished up Ceri’s bedtime story for the day. Another change over the last week, you’d gotten comfortable being in a room alone with them. Not that it had been necessarily uncomfortable in the past, but you shed some of the fear of perception. If people read into it too much, that was on them. You knew your relationship with them, you knew you were only platonic. Those who paid attention would know that too. 

-

 “There’s something .. off about that cat,” Rowan commented. He’d discreetly observed the two of you over the edge of a few reports he brought with him, intending to finish them as he waited for Ceri to fall asleep. There was only one left, and he figured he might as well get it done now. Abraxos’s story was requested again, and he didn’t have anything new to say. Like hell he’d write to Manon and ask. There would be a set of meetings and a ball hosted in Orynth the week after Beltane, and hopefully he could convince her not to ask during that. He didn’t know the witch well enough to tell how she’d react. Maybe she’d find it amusing, as far as he remembers witches were always protective of young ones. The nations of Erilea, and sometimes contingents from other countries, met once every two years, and it was Orynth’s turn to host this year. It would be interesting, convincing you to attend alongside Ceri. 

Yellow eyes peeked up, Halle’s fur standing up, as if she’d heard the insult and taken it personally. 

“Be nice,” you whispered, running your fingers through her fur. The little demon settled instantly, purring on your lap. There was definitely something off about that cat. Almost like it had purposefully found you. Ceri had seemed a bit put out that the cat liked you more than her. But, with your animal form it was to be expected. He’d never tell you this, not yet at least, but there was a small betting pool running for which form your daughter would take. Avian, or feline. 

On their visit to Antica, he’d met some of the baast cats in the library of the Torre Cesme. More he thought about it, he’d never actually seen your animal form. 

“Can you … talk to her?” 

“Obviously,” you grinned, “I just told her to be nice.” 

Rowan rolled his eyes, you knew what he meant. 

“As a cat,” he drawled, raising a brow at you. 

“Why would I spill our secrets to you?” 

“So you can?” He knows cats communicate with each other in some way, Gods know birds do. Not that he’d ever tell Aelin that, she’d be relentless. 

“I don’t know,” you admitted, “I haven’t shifted around her yet.”

“When was the last time you shifted?” 

“Probably too long,” you absentmindedly stroked the little creature. Who looked asleep, but Rowan got the inkling she was faking it. 

Initially, there was a slight fear you’d bring a shifter with you, but he realized quickly you would’ve caught on to that. Above all, he trusted you and your judgment. Rowan trusted you’d never do anything to endanger Ceri, but recognized you’d easily throw yourself into any kind of danger if it meant protecting her. The more he thought about it, the more he realized just how much you’d sacrificed for her … how much you’d sacrificed for Ceri, and something about it didn’t sit right with him. 

-

Fenrys insisted on a house-warming party. You wanted to call it ridiculous, but you’d never had something like this before, and you gave into his badgering. It didn’t take too much effort on his part, but you let him annoy you about it a bit. That way he’d feel like he accomplished something. 

One month after you moved in, you finally hosted it. 

The party was small, and perfect. Rowan, Aelin, Fenrys, Aedion, Lysandra, Evangeline, who came to surprise Ceri, a friend you’d made, and Ceri’s three closest friends. 

A bit of poking around, a few questions to Aedion, and you learned the three of them were orphans. A piece of your heart shattered. 

Edde and Edie, twins, and their cousin Elias. All Fae, all lived at the castle most of their lives - long enough they didn’t remember anything else. They all wanted to train as warriors, even though they were barely eleven. You and Fenrys, acting like gossiping mothers, had easily figured out why they attached themselves to Ceri. Fae recognize power, and something inside them would’ve drawn them to that wild magic. Ceri was powerful, there was no denying that. Reaching her father’s levels, and maybe passing it one day. Sensing that type of power was right up your alley. 

Fenrys pressed a mug of, you looked down into the cup, catching a drift of the sweet honey - mead, into your hands. You took it with a grateful grin. As much as you loved wine, mead was your favorite. But, it was expensive and sometimes difficult to find. Instead of chugging it, you let yourself savor every drop. 

Ines sidled up next to you as Fenrys walked away. All it took was a drunk night together for you to count her as one of your closest friends. She was in a similar situation to you, a daughter - but her father lived quite a distance away. In Eyllwe. She would spend winters down there, and summers up here. You were excited to meet her. A few years younger than Ceri, but you had an inkling she would take her under her wing. Only time would tell if your daughter was a good or bad influence. 

“You have a beautiful home,” she sighed, swirling her glass in one hand. Halle weaved around your feet, the little kitten had been growing, and fast. She’d been circling the house the entire time, judging all of the new visitors. For some reason, you got the impression she was assessing if they were worthy of being in their presence. A meow. The connection the two of you shared is not something to ponder right now. 

“Yours is just as pretty,” you countered. And it was - an elegant townhouse in the middle of the city. 

She hummed, and emptied her glass, nudging you with her elbow. “So, you and … Fenrys?” She hesitated, forcing herself not to put his title in front of his name. He hated that. 

“Friends,” you nudged her back. “And that's it,” you hoped you emphasized the last word enough. 

“I’m wounded,” the male said, before switching his gaze to Ines. “But yes, we are just friends.” 

Where had he come from? Either way, you were glad he came and backed you up. Otherwise, she may never have believed you.

Rowan, Aelin, and the others were currently being treated to prime entertainment by the four hellions. Probably just for the night, the cousins had shed their shy skin for the night, now re-enacting … some sort of game they played earlier. Evangeline was just as taken with the others as she’d been with Ani, and you watched how they already were latching onto her like an older sister. 

Another small pain in your chest, one another sip of mead washed away for the night. 

Now was as good of a time as any to pull out a little creation you’d been working on. Gods, you’d started this project nearly a year ago, and just now you’d finally gotten it right. 

-

Rowan watched as you quickly slipped out of the room, and debated following you. But, you returned quickly. A type of crystal now in your hand. Round, with a flat bottom, and … no, it was glass, encasing several different kinds of crystals, all carefully arranged to form symbols. And it swirled with magic, practically a beacon to anyone who knew what to look for. Apparently, it attracted his wife because she was at your side within moments, peering down at it curiously. 

“It can only play one long track,” you admitted. 

A track? Music? 

Placing it on a table, he watched as your eyes focused on it, fingers pressing against the glass. Normally you could do these types of things with just a thought, but maybe this one needed touch to work. 

Sure enough, a tune started playing through the room, and caught everyone’s attention. You turned red, the attention flustering you, but you quietly explained what it did. It captures and plays back music. Only one long track, this one about four hours before it would repeat. You’ve only made the one. 

The last statement, your left thumb and forefinger pressed together. One of your tells, you lied. Interesting. Something he could ask about later. Calling you out on bullshit was always amusing to him, as long as it was relatively harmless, of course.

“Took me over a year to get right,” he heard you tell Aelin. 

The music was from Antica - he knew that much. 

Aelin caught his eye, no dancing, he said quickly - anticipating her next question. 

A large sigh and roll of her eyes, but she turned back to you instead. 

-

The party went well, as well as you could’ve predicted. By eight, it began to split up. The three “E’s,” as they’d been nicknamed that night, and Evangeline would spend the night. There was plenty of room, and you liked a full house. 

Rowan, Aelin, and Fenrys stuck around as the others left. Lysandra promised to get your drunk friend home in one piece. Now, you all splayed out on the couches. Fenrys shared one with you, your legs currently thrown over his lap as you stretched out. One hand rested on your shin, and the other propped up behind his head. The portrait of casual arrogance. 

“This was fun,” you commented, stealing a glance at Aelin and Rowan. Their positions nearly mirrored your own, Aelin stretched out like a cat on the other couch, but with Rowan’s hand resting on the inside of her knee. 

“Oh absolutely. We should do it again.” 

“I do not want to move houses anytime soon,” you groaned. 

Fenrys poked you, “not every party has to be a housewarming one.” He caught your ankle as you brought your leg back to try and kick him. “Slow,” he tutted, and you rolled your eyes, accepting the failure. 

It’s true, the alcohol and fatigue was delaying all of your reactions. 

“A question, for you, y/n,” the look in his eyes promised trouble. 

“Oh no.” 

-

“Find anyone to warm your bed this winter?” Fenrys teased. That comment caught Aelin and Rowan’s attention. Rowan was proud you managed to land a kick on him, even if he didn’t react, he fought the urge to glare at Fenrys. “Ines is quite pretty,” he added.  

“It’s none of your business,” you rolled your eyes, “but no, I haven’t, and Ines is just a friend, with no interest in women or females.” Rowan shouldn’t have felt that relieved, the relief flew out the window with what she said next. “I suppose it’s never too late.” 

“That’s more like it,” Fenrys grinned - ignoring Aelin’s frown. He tried very hard to keep his face neutral. 

“I don’t think I’ll get involved with anyone until Ceri’s a bit more grown up. At least seriously.” 

“You’re really going to be single for that long?” Fenrys countered. 

“We’re immortal,” she huffed. “Can we not talk about this?” If Rowan didn’t know better, he’d think you were avoiding looking at the two of them. Actually, looking anywhere but at them. 

“I’m trying to be helpful. You look like you need a good fuck.” 

“Fenrys. Shut. Up,” Aelin looked ready to throw a fiery dagger at him, and he only shrugged. 

“Just pointing out the obvious.” 

Even if a very drunk Aelin, who didn’t remember it the next day, admitted she really liked you, you were off-limits. Painfully off-limits, and not shown a hint of interest in them. He’d settle for - no, it wasn’t settling if there was no interest there on his end. He’d be your friend. Rowan liked being your friend. Friends were good, and friends was safe. The last thing he needed was for this to get messy. 

-

“There’s going to be a ball, around beltane,” Aelin commented casually, carefully watching your reaction. 

“Do we need to go dress shopping for Ceri?” 

“For you and Ceri.” You paled, and she heard your heartbeat quicken. Your mouth parted, before closing again. Of all the things to make you speechless, it was this. “We’d like for both of you to come,” she added gently. 

“Who … who will be there?” 

“Every two years, the countries on Erilea meet for meetings. Sometimes countries too, and there’s always a ball. Music, food, dancing.” 

Your entire arm began to shake. She held on tightly to your hand, felt your palm beginning to sweat. Your eyes glazed, and Aelin began to panic. The door swung open, revealing Rowan. He looked between the two of you, and crossed the room. Slowly, he knelt in front of you, taking your hand, disentangling Aelin’s fingers from yours. He called your name, over and over again. 

“You’re in Terrasen. You’re in Orynth.” 

“What triggered it?” He met Aelin’s eyes, not releasing his grip on your hands. 

“I asked about the ball.” 

Rowan swore lightly under his breath. 

You were still shaking, eyes still glazed over, lips starting to turn blue. He gathered both of your hands in one, the other gripping your chin, squeezing enough so your lips parted. She felt his magic swirling, forcing air into your lungs. 

You jolted, as if you were transported back to your body. Rowan hadn’t released his grip on your hands, and good thing because you looked ready to swing at him. Shaking, but eyes now clear, you looked around the room, studied their faces. 

“I should go,” you murmured. 

“You’re not going anywhere until you’re feeling better.” 

Narrowed eyes stared at Rowan, and he stared right back. You didn’t argue, perhaps sensing this was a fight you wouldn’t win. 

She felt the instincts flaring in him, in herself, the instinct to protect someone they claimed as their own. Friend or other, if someone was defenseless, vulnerable … it was normal amongst Fae to feel this. She had before for friends, but maybe not to this level. 

-

“It happened once, when we were together,” Rowan said, after you’d fallen asleep - curled up right on their couch. Your eyes started drooping, falling quickly into sleep, and Rowan showed no inclination of wanting to move you back to your rooms, instead they carefully arranged you into a more comfortable position, tucking a blanket over you. 

Like before, you weren’t able to give a solid reason why. He’d ask again tomorrow, and maybe things would be a bit clearer for you. 

Rowan knew this happened before, and he was running through the circumstances, trying to pick out similarities. 

“A friend invited me to a ball,” you commented absentmindedly. He knew you weren’t fishing for jealousy, you were just bringing up something going on in your life - something on your mind. 

“Oh?” Rowan ran his hand up and down your bare back. “Are you going?” 

“I’m not sure. I’m not the best person to bring to those.” 

Rowan doubted that, and called it. “Bullshit.” 

He felt more than saw your scowl. “I don’t like them.” 

“That’s better,” he teased. “Why?” 

“Bad memories.” 

That peaked his interest. You rarely mentioned the past, and he always wanted to know more - maybe because of that, you were somewhat of a mystery. “Want to share?” He asked. You froze. 

The only similarities were the ball. 

Rowan cursed under his breath as you shook in your sleep. 

-

A ball! It was magical, and beautiful. Males and females dressed up, and your mother had made you a pretty blue dress for it. Everyone’s attention was on your father, but you didn’t mind - it gave you time to observe everyone. 

You were still thinking about it as you all trotted up towards your house, still in Fae form. You’d set off too early in your opinion, but it was smart to travel by daylight. You were glad you’re old enough to travel in Fae form. Carriages were much less fun.

You still carried your pack on your back as you shifted back, dumping it in your bedroom before hurrying back for breakfast. The dagger you got for your birthday was still strapped to your thigh, but you didn’t mind now. 

Their faces were grave, and your mother crouched before you, gripping your shoulders. “I need you to run for the hills. Leave, do not look back.” 

“But -,” looking out the window - the wards were strong, but hundreds and hundreds of soldiers were quickly descending, as if they’d been hiding and waiting for your return. It was easy enough to sense out who they were. Mortal soldiers, without magic. “I can help,” you insisted. 

“If you die too,” the first tears left your cheeks, “then they win. Do you understand?” 

You shook your head. 

“They want to kill us, to kill your father and wipe our bloodline. To wipe our magic out.” 

Her eyes said; you’re the only hope, you’re our legacy.

A few more convincing words from both of your parents, and you ran for the hills. As soon as you tried to turn back, the wards were melded around you. To keep you away from any threats. 

Absolutely useless, but you forced yourself to watch as it happened. As they finally fell, as their heads were staked on the fence posts. The soldiers remained, but you could out wait them. You could memorize their faces, memorize the way they spoke, commit it to memory and find your vengeance one day. 

“Terrasen,” a familiar voice interrupted, “You’re in Orynth.” 

“Safe,” another said. Female. 

A memory, that’s what it was. You weren’t trapped in that moment, you could come back to the present. There was nothing holding you here, not now. 

“Good,” the male voice coaxed as your body relaxed, as you leaned into the sensations around you. Blanket, hands gripping yours, pine, snow, jasmine, and lemon verbena, the feeling of ancient magic - of fire, ice, wind, and a hint of water. Eventually, you managed to open your eyes. 

“I need you to tell us where you went,” Rowan said, even adding, “please, y/n.” 

How often had he said your names? How often does he say please? Words were effort, but when he asked so nicely, you could share. Trust, you reminded yourself. The small thread, a sign of the Goddess who watched over you, tugged and encouraged you. 

“The night before my parents died,” your voice was hoarse, your throat aching - like something dry had been shoved down it. “We were at a ball. We arrived home that morning, and they were waiting for us. Surrounded.” 

“When your parents died?” Aelin asked quietly. 

It hurt, gods it hurt so fucking much, but you told her the story - as much as you could manage, and she listened intently. Thankfully, there was no pity in her eyes - understanding, instead. That was much more palpable. 

-

Rowan thought he experienced the same thing as Aelin. When you shared the story about the dagger, but this time it was directed towards him. The entire time you shared, your eyes never drifted from him. 

A show of trust to him, and he’d take that gift and hold it close. Your trust was difficult to earn, and relatively easy to break. He’d treat it with caution, like he would any treasure. 

He was glad Aelin didn’t give away that he’d already told her the story. His wife was a good actress, and it shoved. The small bit of trust you showed him made him feel like a hypocrite. At the time, telling Aelin about your past felt essential, but now it resembled something of a betrayal. 

-

“How are you going to explain my presence?” 

Rowan and Aelin exchanged a glance, one that told you they’d already discussed this. Not surprising. 

“Even without the ball,” he emphasized, “we considered asking if you’d like to be an advisor to the court.” He held up a hand as your lips parted, and damn you, your mouth shut on instinct. At least he didn’t seem to gloat about it. “The wards around Orynth could use another look, and you have unique skills and expertise.” 

They actually value your opinion, you reminded yourself.  

“You swear it, without the ball you still would’ve?” You’re not sure why, but it really mattered to you. 

“I swear it.” 

Rowan’s promises are as good as gold when it comes to him, so you gave your agreement. Then started to plan what you’d do about the castle and city wards. Of course, you’d already had time to think about it. 

The ball would occur a week after beltane this year, when the last of the snow was predicted to abate, making travel tolerable.  

Time passed quicker than you thought was possible. Ceri turned eleven, her birthday falling on the spring equinox this year. As her present, you let her pick out her chickens, and you and Rowan teamed up to start teaching her how to shift. An argument wouldn’t be right, but you did have a few disagreements over teaching styles. At least Aelin was on your side for that. 

Then, it was beltane. Early that morning, you and Ceri went out to leave some gifts for the little folk at the crosspaths near your home. She’d spent a good portion of the previous day helping you craft them. Surprisingly patient and focused. Maypoles had been raised, hawthorn bushes decorated, and piles of wood gathering on the field before the city, waiting to be set alight. 

You didn’t walk out with the Queen and King, by the time you arrived the fires were already burning. Ceri’s friends had come over before, for an early dinner, and now trailed together in a small pack. 

“You know your signal?” You murmured to your daughter. A burst of magic, one to let you know if she needed you, with three different levels of urgency. 

“Yes,” she grinned up at you. Ceri was quite proud of herself for mastering that - as she should be. 

“Go on, then.” 

The four raced off, weaving in and out of the fires, brief flashes of silver hair were like a beacon. Heads would turn as she passed, followed by small whispers. Ceri had adapted easily to those, thrilled by the attention, it was you that needed adjustment. Needed to stop giving a death stare to anyone who watched a few seconds too long.  

Fenrys found you first, hanging out towards the edge of the fires, fully content to observe and watch. 

He was not content with that, instead he dragged you right into the heart of the celebrations. 

Thankfully, Aelin and Rowan didn’t try to drag you into anything. It was a time for the people to speak with their Queen and King, and you had plenty of exposure to the pair. 

“How did you escape doing all of that?” You jerked your chin towards where they were speaking with another group. 

“I came early,” he shot you a grin. His attention wavered, and you knew exactly who was making her way across the field. 

Ines, all auburn hair, freckled skin, and bright green eyes, strode for both of you - cheeks already flushed. You didn’t miss how her heart rate picked up when she spotted who was next to you. 

“Do I need to give you two a moment?” You murmured under your breath. 

“We’ve had plenty of those.” 

You groaned. Suspicion is fine, but you didn’t need confirmation. 

Ines gripped your hand, “we’re jumping over one of them,” she announced, “for luck.” 

“I know what it’s for,” you let her drag you anyway. When was the last time you’d done this? Maybe the year before Ceri was born. 

Picking a medium low fire, the two of you gathered your skirts in one hand, still holding onto each other, and kicked your shoes away. 

“One,” She grinned at you. 

“Two,” you shot one back at her, eyes lighting up. 

“Three.” 

With surprising coordination, you both launched yourself over. Heat skimmed the bottom of your bare feet, but you made it over without any burns. Ines, thankfully, did as well. 

Laughing, arms wrapped around each other, it took you longer than you cared to admit to locate your shoes again. 

-

Rowan watched you jump over the fire with your friend, his mouth turning up at the corners. 

Of course, you had to pretend you didn’t know each other, but you’d been at the same beltane celebration before, and he had the pleasure of watching you jump over fires. At least you remembered to hold your skirts up. He had to suffocate the flames last time. 

Aelin tapped his shoulder, “I’d give her a seven out of ten.” 

A genuine laugh left him, and she wound her arm around his waist, resting her head against his shoulder. He never took these moments, these reminders of the peace they fought for. 

Neither did everyone gathered around them. 

-

The celebration lasted into early hours of the morning, and it was near three when the fires finally died down. You’d trusted Evangeline to escort Ceri and her friends back to the castle, and mentally prepared yourself to head home. There were plenty others flooding through the streets, so it shouldn’t be any issue. 

Somehow, you found yourself roped into going into the castle. Fenrys informed you that their Majesty and Highness wanted to see you, and him - of course. Aedion and Lysandra joined you - a few bottles of wine each, Rowan and Aelin coming shortly after. Gods, you could drink, but northerners were on another level. 

-

“Stay the night,” Aelin insisted. “There’s no need for you to traipse through the streets after dark.”

“Are you certain?” 

“Yes,” Rowan huffed, like it was ridiculous you were asking for confirmation. It really was, they wouldn’t have offered if they didn’t mean it. 

This was nice. Aelin never took these nights for granted. The beltane celebrations, seeing her people at peace, out and enjoying the traditions squashed by Adarlan for a decade. She loved that you were here now, that you’d been brought into their lives. Now, she could count you as one of the people closest to her, and gods she hoped you felt the same. 

They might not have convinced you to live in the castle, but having you spend a few nights here - she’d take it over nothing. Just having you in Orynth was heaven. 

Aelin decided the little bit of wine she had could explain these thoughts. Very inappropriate thoughts about you, about the mother of her mate’s child. She hated herself for reducing you to that, rejected the thought as soon as it drifted inside her mind. You were more than just a mother, even if you didn’t always see it that way. 

A foot nudged her leg, tracking her back to the present. 

“You’re staring,” Rowan murmured. You were caught up in conversation with Aedion, but Fenrys kept shooting Aelin wary looks. She didn’t bother trying to stare him down, only looking at Rowan, her eyes saying; sorry. 

Why? 

She’s very pretty, came out. She hadn’t had enough wine to blame these thoughts on. These were the thoughts of sober Aelin, just flowing more freely this time. 

His eyebrows flicked up in amusement, I’m aware. 

Right, he did put a baby in her. The thought didn’t make Aelin jealous, she almost wished she was there … 

“It’s so weird when the two of you do that,” Aedion’s voice cut her off. 

“Deal with it,” Rowan growled, before turning back to her. You should do something about that little crush of yours. 

Maybe I will. 

-

Rowan cut off the wine after another bottle, all but kicking Fenrys, Aedion, and Lysandra out. It was nearing five in the morning now, and even with nothing planned in the morning, it was getting late. Besides, he and Aelin wanted you in here - alone with them. When you rose to leave, Aelin grabbed onto your hand, tugging you back down. 

“Stay a while,” she insisted, squeezing your hand. Rowan carefully monitored your every reaction. Aelin wrapped an arm around your shoulders, tugging you into her side like she usually did. He didn’t think it was entirely romantic on your part, at least that you knew, but he saw how you practically purred with the touch, how much you loved it - acted like you needed it. Everything was going to plan. 

-

Aelin pulled away, and you frowned - instantly missing the warmth of her body. But, her hand trailed up your arm, stopping to cup your jaw. When you didn’t pull away, she wound another arm around your waist, tugging you closer, her eyes scanning your face. 

“Fuck it,” she muttered, and her hand slid to the back of your neck, pulling your lips to hers. 

At first, you froze. But when she didn’t stop, you followed her lead, falling into her rhythm for a few moments before reality caught up to you. With a gasp, you pulled away from her. 

She had a hungry look in her eyes, watching like she was waiting for a moment to pounce again, to take you back and claim you. No, no, no. You found Rowan’s eyes, an apology right on your lips, but a shake of his head stopped you as he stood, crossing the room to sit on your other side. His finger pressed against your cheek, turning you to face him. Even as he had your attention, he didn’t move his hand, only sliding it to cup your jaw. An intimate touch. Aelin’s arm was still wrapped around your waist. 

“Are you going to deny her, deny Aelin, what she wants?” This question felt like a trap. 

“Wh-what do you mean?” 

“Do you really need me to spell it out for you?” Rowan’s eyes lit with amusement - and something else, something familiar. Familiar enough it terrified you. 

Aelin twisted you, now so you faced Rowan, her other hand twining itself in your hair, tilting your head to the side. Her lips pressed against your neck, trailing up the side. Your head fell, granting her more access, a small whimper slipping past your lips. She didn’t bite, but nipped at the skin - right where your neck met your shoulder. Did she know how significant that was? Apparently so, because she chuckled behind you. 

She was purposefully holding you here. Keeping you where you’d lock eyes with Rowan, where he could watch the two of you. His knuckle grazed your cheekbone, a small ‘this is fine,’ and cemented it with a small nod. 

That was all you needed, before you twisted back around, letting Aelin’s lips meet your own. 

-

Aelin decided, first, that she’s very glad she did something about her ‘little crush.’ Next, she decided you were a fantastic kisser, and she needed to figure out how to repeat this experience. Preferably as often as possible. 

When you finally pulled away, desperately sucking in air, she took the chance to glance at Rowan. 

She’s good. His brows flicked, but he didn’t comment. Isn’t this the part where it’s your turn?

Aelin ran her thumb over your lips, keeping your attention on her while she waited for Rowan’s response. 

What do you think? She hadn’t heard him this unsure in a while. It was rather endearing, to see him caught off guard. 

Aelin looked back down to you - to your puffy lips and bright eyes, and lowered her voice. “Rowan wants to kiss you,” she said, and watched for your reaction. First, your eyes widened, and then you glanced over your shoulder quickly, before turning back to her. You wanted her permission. Maybe for her to make the choice for you. Something Aelin could easily do. 

“Are you going to deny him?” She teased, copying Rowan’s earlier words. A snort from behind her, but sure enough you were pulled away. Even Rowan had limits to his patience. 

Watching the two of you, how his hand gripped the back of your head, the other cupping your jaw, your arms hesitantly resting on his shoulders, Aelin realized she might be something of a voyeur. At least with the two of you. 

He took control, tilting your head exactly where he wanted you, and you easily followed. Seamlessly, effortlessly. Aelin felt like she was viewing a memory, something from deep in the past, and didn’t find herself jealous. 

You pulled away, “I think… I think that’s all I can handle for tonight.” 

Lips bruised, hair messed, and cheeks flushed, Aelin wanted to keep you here, but she wouldn’t push. 

-

Rowan ended up walking you back to your rooms, taking a step inside before closing the door gently. 

He gripped both of your shoulders, making sure your eyes were on him. “Don’t overthink it.” 

“Easier said than done.”

Arms wrapped around you, tugging you right into a hard and warm chest. Easily, you wrapped your arms around him. This was familiar, this was safe. 

“We both wanted it,” he rubbed circles into your back. Maybe he sensed you needed reassurance. 

“Let me guess, you made a plan?” You joked. 

Rowan didn’t answer, and you tilted your head to look up at him. He had an unapologetic grin on his face. Eyes rolling, a laugh came from your chest. Brushing hair away from your face, he pressed a kiss to your forehead. 

“Don’t run away in the morning,” he said and you dropped your arms. Taking a step back, keeping his eyes on you, he gripped the doorknob. Another smile, and he slipped out the door. 

“Goodnight to you too,” you called down the hallway. 

-

Thirty minutes later, you paced inside of your rooms, the haze fading, and traced your finger over your now bruised and puffy lips. Had that really happened? Had you imagined it? 

Definitely not. 

Are you going to deny her? Are you going to deny him?

Oh fuck. 

Bracing your hands on the counter, you took a deep breath before looking in the mirror. Facing you, was a female with flushed cheeks, messed hair, bruised lips, and a glow. A female who looked free. 

It’s a shame freedom has its costs, because this couldn’t happen again. 

taglist: @holb32 @fussel9913 @moonlightttfae @cassianswh0reeee, @reidishh 

#rowaelin x reader #poly!rowaelin x reader #throne of glass fic #rowan whitethorn x reader #aelin galathynius x reader #rowaelin x y/n #poly!rowaelin x y/n #throne of glass x reader #rowan whitethorn x y/n #aelin galathynius x y/n

[maddyguru]

Of What's Right and Wrong (geto, gojo, nanami)

tw: Dark content, non con, incest, gang r*p*, creampie, breeding? trauma, ptsd, reader became mute, Manga spoiler, fucked up, lmk if I miss any MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

synopsis: Satoru and Nanami brings you to your older brother, after he disappeared a few years ago. But it wasn't the reunion you were expecting.

If earlier it was dark, now you could see clearly.   

Your fear was overwhelming your system. Your hiccups were filling the small basement, and your eyes looking back and forth at Satoru and towards your brother.   

Your lips were trembling with your soft pleas for help. You wanted help. You need them. You begged Suguru, your brother, for help, but he ignored you. As if you’re not even there, he ignored you.   

In front of you, Satoru and Nanami were kneeling on each side of your body. The sound of your shattering heart could be heard from the distance, as you wondered what did you deserved to be treated like this? What did you ever do to any one of them?   

The reunion you had in mind was far away from what you imagined, when Satoru and Nanami said they’d take you to see Suguru, Your brother who ran away after murdering your parents, leaving you behind.  

“y/n, do you want to see Suguru?”  

“We found his location. We just want you to see him again after all these years.”   

“But I’m not sure, Satoru. He… he hates me…”  

“Everything will be alright, y/n. you got me and Nanami, after all!”  

They did bring you here. And you could feel the want to hug niisan after 5 years. But then, his eyes were showing you how much he hates you, and Satoru as well as Nanami suddenly pushed you on the tile, surprising you.  

Before you knew it, the two of them held you down on the ground with your screams resonating throughout the room.   

“You can scream all you want, y/n. No one can hear you. I’ve put up a veil to hide us all,” Satoru chuckled earlier, grinning at you while his hands were holding you down.   

“I don’t normally like overtime, but I’ll let this one slide. It’s a fun, after all.” Nanami’s face was stoic. You couldn’t read him at all. You never could understand the man.  

Why… why are they doing this to you?   

You glanced once in a while to see your brother’s expression, but all he did was stare at the three of you, pretending as if he was not here watching you. As if you’re not here, he ignored you.   

“And you called me to come here, only to bring her here?” ah, finally your brother speaks, eyeing you with a look of pure disgust. “What’s the meaning of this, Satoru, Nanami?”  

Yeah. What is the meaning of this? And why are you being held down by the people who brought you here? What is going on?  

You let out a sob when Satoru laid his hands on your cheeks, gripping your skin with that sickening grin he had on. Something inside your grin is telling you that they don’t mean well. They’re going to hurt you. They-  

“You always said how non sorcerers are evil, right, Suguru? so I- we, thought about proving you wrong.”  

What?   

“Oh? How so?” the cockiness in your brother’s voice got the best of you, as you stared into his eyes for comfort. Wanting him to hold you and save you like he used to.   

“We’re going to rape your precious little girl in front of you. Us sorcerers are not that nice you know, Suguru?”   

His words sank into your stomach, leaving a dreaded feeling. Your eyes widen, staring at all three of them in disbelief at what they just said.   

Rape. Rape. They’re going to fucking rape you-  

“No! no, oniichan, don’t let them- please don’t let them… no!”   

You’re sobbing by now, struggling to get away from them with your smaller limbs trying to push both men away. But they just simply chuckle at your feeble attempts and hold you down further.  

You let out a shriek when Nanami tears open your buttons to reveal your bra softly cupping your breasts. You’re half-naked now.   

“We knew this was going to happen, but don’t worry, Suguru! I know how much my best buddy hates it when they don’t shut up, so for your entertainment purposes, we’ll make sure to shut her up well!” Satoru turned to his best friend and gave him finger guns as if everything that was going on right now was a game. A game. They’re playing a game of who’s nicer? Sorcerers or non- sorcerers?   

A bile rose in your throat when they chuckled, looking at you with the desire of a man, wanting to ruin a girl.   

“Now, now, y/n, don’t be scared, we’re just going to show your precious niisan who’s the real menace in society. Now, be a good girl and spread your legs or it’ll hurt more if I do it for you~” he tee-heed, that stupid grin he had plastered on his cheeks with his eyes staring at you, under his blindfold.   

“No… no! oniichan!” you screamed, looking at your older brother for help but finding him enjoying the sight, “Oniicha, help me!” you screamed, struggling again to get their hands off you.   

“Don’t let them, please…” You sobbed, closing your eyes now when you felt Nanami’s hands sliding on your thigh. He spreads your legs, and slowly inched his hands on the hem of your panties. Despite your protest, he yanked the cloth down to reveal your precious cunt for all of them.   

You buried your face into your hands, sobbing even more.   

“Shh… don’t worry. I’ll be gentle with you,” Nanami whispered, but Satoru howled at the younger man’s words.   

“Gentle? Are you fucking a virgin or something?”   

Everyone was silent, staring at you. You weren’t exactly sure what they were thinking, until…  

“She must be a virgin. I bet she never kissed anyone yet.”   

Suguru… your brother said that…  

“Fuck, I just want her even more. Nanami, move over I wanna see her pussy.”   

You cried out, shaking your head in protest. “No! don’t touch me! Please, no!”  

“Oniichan, don’t let them…” You sobbed from defeat, crying on the cold floor that pushed you on.  

Until Nanami reached for the panties you were wearing and shoved them down your throat.  

It caught you by surprise.   

You let out a sob with tears running down your cheeks when Satoru’s fingers are spreading your folds, his grin is on his face.   

It made your stomach churn. The feeling of his two fingers spreading your most intimate part. You hate this. You recalled the times when Suguru used to tell you that you shouldn’t let a boy see you there- for any reason, you’re not supposed to, unless you’re over 18 and you’re willing. But now that you’re older, you’re not willing in this situation and it hurts knowing there he is, your brother, who told you to keep yourself sacred and away from boys, watching your pussy getting spread by his own best friend. 

You hate it. The burning feeling of betrayal from Satoru and… Nanami…   

You expect better from Nanami.   

He was chuckling, his blue eyes keep staring at your flushed hole and clit. His fingers spread your folds and he just… stared, like he wanted to remember how it looked like with your doe eyes and mouth shoved with panties. Like he wants to remember this moment forever. He just stared at your spread pussy with a cynical grin.   

You realize that you have tears in your eyes as of now. The anxiety you felt when both are staring at you- Nanami is looking at your bare breast with his hands holding yours, and Satoru is staring at your pussy. Your brother… is looking from afar with no expression on his face.   

You screamed through the piece of cloth, closing your eyes and screaming at the top of your lungs, as hard as you could even though it was useless.   

“I love it when you scream. It’s expected, isn’t it?” you saw the man looking at Nanami, now with a smirk plastered on his face.   

“Just hurry up. There’s a line, Gojo.”   

A line. A line for the three of them.   

A chuckle was Satoru’s answer, and he turned to look at Suguru behind him with a smile. “You see this, Suguru?” He shifted a little, so your brother could see your bare pussy a little clearer. You jumped and whined when he was massaging your folds with his two fingers, still spreading you apart. “This is her precious pussy and it’s going to get ruined by me, the strongest sorcerer in this world.”  

You screamed through the thin cloth. Scream until your throat felt like it was burning and when Gojo was unbuckling his pants and later revealing his cock, you continued to scream through your panties and shut your eyes. No, no, this is not happening to you, right? None of this is happening to you, right? Gojo wouldn’t rape you, and Nanami wouldn’t comply with this- and your brother wouldn’t just sit there and watch you like this, right?   

“Now, now, sweetheart. Stop screaming or your throat will get hurt; and none of us are using it yet!” he pouted, spitting into his palm, and smearing the liquid along his length. Well, he can’t bruise your insides too much, right?   

He was happy to finally have you under him. He wasn’t even thinking of hurting you like his, but it’s a clever idea; besides, he can finally take revenge for what Suguru did to him. Leaving him behind without saying a proper goodbye? No one would ever escape Gojo Satoru’s wrath.  

He didn’t bother with extra prep; nor does he ever care about rubbing the head of his dick onto your opening. None of that shit. He wants to fuck you open in front of your brother immediately.   

The brute force was cruel. Immediately, the head of Satoru’s dick entered her pussy, passing the tight ring of muscle, and through the scream, the men could figure it all out; Suguru was right. She’s a virgin. From the way she shrieked it was enough answer. And without a doubt, as Satoru worked himself deeper, drilling, there’s blood dripping from where both of you were connected to show instead of saying that she’s no longer a little girl.   

A woman was born. In the most cruel, inhumane way.   

A strangled cry was heard. In agony she was. Nanami and Suguru watched as she wiggled around, closing her eyes and crying when Satoru stilled and stared right into her pained expression.   

“Aw, lil sis is not a virgin anymore, nii chan, look!” mockingly, satiru stared into his best friend’s face, staring back at him with a sly smirk. A knowing look that he knows.   

Some things never change.   

You prayed for it to stop. Your eyes glanced at your brother and you silently pleaded for his help, but he didn’t listen to your shameless silent cry. There’s no way.   

You gripped whosoever hand was holding yours when the older man started Moving his hips cruelly, not caring about her obvious discomfort.  

It was inhuman, cruel. Something not a sorcerer would do. With every thrust, her walls could feel it. Every painful slicking sound filled the veiled room. And every time her breast jiggled, Satoru made misogynistic remarks.   

Throughout the young teacher’s movements, your hands were gripping Nanami’s arm so hard; your pussy fluttered every time his friend went a little harder, and you hiccupped, begging.   

“Help, Nanamin...” you sobbed.   

And what did Dear gentleman Nanamin do? Ignoring you was their agenda. No sympathy and it was all a trap to get you to follow them.   

It’s like you were in a trance, getting fucked by Satoru Gojo in this Godforsaken place, away from other’s eyes, except for two men whom you knew all your life. Your body was moving forward and backward, the sound of your pussy getting pounded was so sickly, you wished it was a fucking dream- this is all a nightmare that never happened. Soon enough, you’ll wake up and realize all of this is just a nightmare.  

“Oh, God... how long am I going to go through this...?” babbling nonsense, you found yourself saying that out loud in front of the three men. And all that came was a soft cackle.   

Leaning down to your ear level, he whispered, “As long as we please, princess.”   

His thrust was getting sloppy, and before long, white liquids were poured into your untainted womb, until now. It was Satoru’s for the taking. He was indeed, the unwanted first.   

You were left lying on the tile, still hopelessly crying with your small hands on your cheeks and his cum spilling out a little.   

Silly of you to think Satoru would feel an ounce of sympathy.   

“Your turn, Nanami.” He stood up, backing away with his hands adjusting his belt, eyes still on you- his smirks say everything, that he loved what he did to you even though you said no.   

Crying your heart out from the traumatic experience, you felt Nanami standing up, and through hazy eyes, it was clear as day- he was taking off his coat, loosening his ties until it dropped somewhere on the cold tile, completely ignoring your distressed cries.   

“No, Nanamin...” With one last cry, you plead, but he had none of that; instead, he flipped you on your back, and with your leaking pussy in the display, ass in the air...  

He grinned evilly, listening to your pathetic sobs. He stroked his raging hard-on while staring at your torn pussy, and, with a little nudging, the head of his dick was inside you.   

Your mouth was hanging in a silent scream, eyes bugging out and hands on the tile, nails clawing at nothing painfully as the sweet, big brother Nanami grunted at how tight you are and fucking your doggy style, his fingers digging into the flesh of your ass.  

No matter how many times you beg any one of them to stop, they just wouldn’t.   

So, it lasted for a few minutes. You weren’t counting and none of them are- it felt like it was an eternity as you listen to what Nanami said, about how tight you were, how good you feel, how his dick was molding your pussy, and how much he loved you. You want to laugh.   

Love?   

“You know, y/n, I’m glad I’m here, listening to Gojo instead of cramped in my office.” He leaned down to bite your ear as he whispered.   

Your wails? It meant nothing to him.   

“So glad I took this pussy. Although, I kinda wished I was the first.”   

“Quit it, Nanami. Just accept that it was me who fucked her first!” Satoru butt in, huffing at his friend.   

Suddenly, your chin was gripped, making you face Suguru, your older brother.   

You’re fucking ashamed. He’s watching you, a crazy grin on his face.   

“Now, Imoutou, watch your brother as Nanami cums into your pussy, ok?” Satoru says, laughing when you let out another pathetic cry.   

“Please, stop it!” you try to break free, hating the way the three men watch you. Loathing the way Satoru’s hands were on your chin, gripping tightly so you would watch Suguru’s stoic gaze.  

He didn’t flinch, not even once.   

Satoru was right when he said this would last for as long as they wanted because it felt like hours of them manhandling you, moving your body out of your will, and making you cry until you couldn’t cry anymore. What was left was that emptiness in your chest, as your body moved back and forth and the two men fucking you again and again.  

So many of their cums were stuffed inside your poor, torn, pussy, running down your legs and pooling under the ground you were lying on. So much was pumped inside your womb, that without a doubt, you would be pregnant by the two sorcerers. Whether you like it or not, there are already successful sperms entering your eggs.   

“Damn, I’m beaten,” Satoru spoke, letting go of your legs that were previously on his shoulders. You were sobbing so much, traumatized by their actions and your brother’s betrayal that you lost your voice.   

“Hey, y/n, say, you want me to take you to your favorite ice cream place tomorrow?”   

You couldn’t answer his useless questions, even if you wanted to.  

“You idiot. After all this, you think she would want ice creams?” At least Nanami was right about this.   

“Ah, on second thought, you’re right. Maybe she would prefer our creams inside her again?” A laugh came from the young teacher and your beloved brother...  

“Oi, oi, why are you not answering, you whimp?” His hands on your shoulder made you flinch, sobbing once again from the memory of what they just did.   

Your answers were only sobs, crying uncontrollably, feeling their mean nudges and curses at you; slut, bitch, stupid, dumbass, whore. You want them to stop. You’re not those things.  

Until Suguru finally stands in front of you, staring at you without any expression. You were pleading from your eyes for him to help you. To comfort you, to make it all ok again.   

But his next actions were not what you expected as he started opening his robes, showing you his raging hard-on.   

“Satoru, she went dumb and mute after you and Nanami raped her. Do you guys do not notice?”  

You were too tired to cry by the time Suguru starts pushing you on the floor again, and his cock starts entering your soaked pussy.   

Sorcerers are more evil than us non-sorcerers.    

#tw.dark content #tw.ptsd #tw.incest #tw. noncon #tw.blood #tw.smut #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru x you #gojo satoru x you #nanami kento x you

[inkstainedhandswithrings]

TBB S3 Ep 12 Thoughts!!

Gotta remember to look up what the title means

But starting off with rainy Tantiss and dark music

Setting the tone and I’m here for it!!

Ah yes

There he is

hemcock

I guess this joke is getting old but at this point I refuse to spell his name correctly

Yanno bitch really showed up with an undercut and an eyebrow slit right from the get go, like some well payed criminal

I never noticed that tbh

Ey yo Tech don’t shove your sister like that

The eye contact between omega and Emerie right of the bat got me like 👀

Girls are cooking

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re save.”

Right.

Damn occupied pabu hurts my heart

But hey batcher and hunter are okay

Crosshairs hand tremor acting up in a stressful convo with his bros

🥺🥺🥺🥺

my heart

Crosshair having potential info on Tantiss and not sharing it is… complicated. On the one hand he had the option to save his brothers and actively chose not to. On the other hand it is very clear that Crosshair suffers from PTSD as a result of the trauma he sustained there. Trauma is rarely something that allows you to act based on logic or even your own morals. It puts you in survival mode, not because you’re not strong enough to withstand it, but because it’s necessary. That’s why it’s called survival mode. Very likely every instinct within him told him not to return there and that can be hard to overcome. But he’s willing to take that step for Omega. Severe and unyielding, indeed.

Also, Omega not having that issue, not being scared to return to Tantiss isn’t a show of her strength or Crosshair’s weakness. They had different experiences and have different brains, therefore they process and deal differently. Crosshair is not the weaker link because he was unable to muster up the courage to return before now. He’s simply in a different place than she is.

PHEE AND AZI!!!

“Tech told me all about your sparkeling personality.”

PARDONNE MOI???

I BEG YOUR BIGGEST PARDON

JUST TECH???

NOT “YOUR BROTHERS TOLD ME ALL ABOUT…”???

NO JUST TECH HUH??

SPENT SOME ALONE TIME WITH HIM DID YA PHEE???

Also Phee and Cross bickering hihihehe

They have good sibling energy already (sister in law vibes huh)

Why did Hunter sound like Rex during the briefing?

Like he just put his “man in charge” hat on for the first time

Phee just straight up turning the ship off to get in undetected is such a Tech thing tbh

Obsessed

Gotta watch that again

Beautiful

Oh wait fuck RAMPART is WORKING THERE???

Serves him right

I love seeing this trio work together tbh

Hunter, Cross and Wrecker bring such a different vibe without Echo, Tech and/or Omega there and idk why or how to describe it but I am here for it

“Anything?”

“Yup.” *clocks him* “Clear.”

Baby <3

“You remembered. How touching.”

Queen💅😪✨

“Are you here to kill me?”

“Tempting. But, no.”

FUCK ME.

KING SHIT 👑

Rampart is still a whore then, huh?

“Oh, please. You’re not going to kill me.”

“Not yet.”

GO OFF

“We’re in this together.”

Yo buddy saying shit like that seems like a nice way to loose some teeth

“This is your new home.”

The fact that they left us on THAT line

OW

Fr most of my thoughts on this are Crosshair brain rot and if I wasn’t so busy today you’d get to read it. (No u probably PROBABLY won’t get it another time bc I am adhd and I either forget or don’t have the motivation later so… lots of good thoughts get lost in the void unfortunately)

#cross is really making a run for the pedestal I put rex on huh #still low-key disappointed that he and echo weren’t there today but seeing as this is headed to an attack on Tantiss I can’t imagine we’re #far from that happening #star wars #the bad batch #tbb #tbb hunter #tbb wrecker #tbb crosshair #tbb omega #tbb echo #captain rex #tbb spoilers #tbb s3 #tbb s3 spoilers #star wars the bad batch

[tfc-gal-pal]

Bear with me while i create a quick hc, but i was just rewatching clips from 7x04 and the clip of Buck helping Eddie through his panic attack in 5x13 came up. PTSD doesn’t ever truly go away, and while I’m glad Eddie has been dealing with it better lately, if Buddie is actually canon, i have a hc that whenever Eddie has nightmares or it’s all too much, Buck always wakes up too. And just holds him until he feels safe enough to fall asleep. Buck and Eddie have always been pillars of strength for each other and helped heal years old wounds. But sometime wounds keep us up at night. And Buck and Eddie hold each other until the wounds close enough to sleep and they don’t let go in the morning. And if we’re very very lucky, we’ll get to see that in the show too.

#what do you think? #buddie #911 abc #evan buckley #eddie diaz #hc

[thekristen999]

Newest:

Follow You Into The Dark

Buck kept a firm grip around Eddie’s arm as he was guided down hallways. They’d both experienced something like this before during the Academy: cadet’s exercises where both teammates were blindfolded and forced to depend on the other to escape burning buildings. This wasn’t unlike that experience, except of course this was real and Buck’s freaking eyes were swollen shut and Eddie was concussed and deaf.

(Or a serial arsonist terrorizes the city, plunging Buck and Eddie into a dangerous game of cat and mouse.)

Cutting The Ties That Bind -Complete Evan Buckley was a businessman, he had meetings and deadlines like everyone else.

Occasionally, he got threatened, but it was usually all hot air and ego. That all changed the day his breaks were tampered with. Enter Eddie Diaz, security specialist, who was not easily impressed by Buck’s expensive suits or financial conquests. That was okay. Buck enjoyed a challenge. AKA The Mafia AU.

bro·ken  

Summary: Forced to take shady side jobs to pay his bills, Evan Buckley doesn’t think he’s ever seen such rock bottom. Until he meets Eddie Diaz, a man even more desperate and alone. Season 3 AU. 

9-1-1/Buddie

.

Healing/PTSD

Hold the Pain, Release Me   6k  Eddie is encouraged to explore art therapy.

Buddha's Arrow  4k. Buck helps Eddie navigate chronic pain.

Hand Covers Bruise  7k Eddie character study.

Are You With Me?  27k Eddie and Buck navigate a relationship post Eddie Begins.

Trying Hard to Remember, Trying Hard To Forget 25k Post shooting. Eddie and Buck shared a trauma, but undergo different healing paths. Struggles of recovery.

.

Hurt/Comfort

Tick...Tick...Boom    4k. Call gone wrong.

Beside You In Time  2k Post shooting. Pain meds.

Stand By Me 2k  Post shooting. Missing scene. Hospitals

Nothing Burns Like The Cold 2k Buck and Eddie get trapped in a freezer. 

Crash Into You- 3k Eddie gets struck by lightening. Medic!Buck (written a year ago)

There Goes My Hero, He's Ordinary  7k Post Eddie Begins.  Medic!Buck. Near drowning/Hypothermia    

We're In This Together Now  5k Meth lab fic. Medic!Eddie

Alone In The Dark With You 14k  Buck and Eddie get trapped in a cave-in and things go from bad to worse. Medic!Eddie Medic!Buck

.

Action/Adv or Drama

We’ve Got Fun & Games   7k The Team competes in local Amazing Race  Challenge. Hijinks ensue.

Misadventures In The Great Outdoors  8k Camping trip from hell. (Action Humor)

The World Is On Fire And No One Can Save Me But You  6k Eddie and Buck get caught in a riot.

The Shape Of Water 9k T.  How water has influenced Buck’s life. Backstory. Medic!Buck

.

AU

We Found Each Other (Over There) 46k  Epic WWII AU.

Lost  5k  Alt ending to The Searchers. Christopher is not found right away.

Whatever It Takes To Find You  5k   Eddie Begins AU.  Buck is a Pararescue (PJ) specialist sent to rescue the downed chopper.

.

All Fic Links:

9-1-1/Buddie Fic

H50/McDanno Fic

Daredevil Fic

.

Coffee Fund :)

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #9-1-1 on fox #buddie fic #Daredevil #mcdanno #kristen999writes

[yourlocalwriterandreader3451]

The Runt - Billy the Kid

Warnings for this chapter: Jesse Evans, swearing, slight misogyny?, mentions of abuse, PTSD

Chapter Ten

The next day, Laurie, Billy and Pat galloped through the plains in the direction of where Jesse and his gang were apparently now residing. Artax whinnied with glee upon feeling the wind in his mane, tossing his head around like an energetic colt with a snort. This caused Laurie to smile a little bit, she was feeling incredibly nervous about reuniting with Jesse, so it felt nice to have her best friend distract her for a moment, but she couldn’t help but let her mind wonder back to how Jesse might react to seeing her after all these months.

Would he be mad at her?

Would he hate her more than he already did before she left?

As they approached the ranch, a man stood up with a shotgun, he seemed ready to shoot them dead until he recognized Pat and called out to his buddies, letting them know that their comrade had returned with guests. Artax skidded to a stop as Laurie turned to Billy, she was visibly nervous and Billy could tell right away. The outlaw gave her a reassuring smile and nod, letting her know that it’ll be okay. It helped a little bit but it did not completely calm her nerves.

“Jesse, you may wanna come out here,” a man that Laurie immediately recognized as Bob called out into the house, taking a drag of his tobacco filled cigarette as he did so. Laurie took a deep breath, stroking her horse's fur as she waited for Jesse to come out. Her heart was pounding and she felt like her blood vessels were going to burst due to the adrenaline. 

Jesse walked out of the house, a cigar in his mouth. It was hard to tell what he was thinking when he saw Laurie and Billy on their horses, standing side-by-side. Laurie took another deep breath before she spoke.

“Hi, Jesse,” she said, adjusting Artax’s reins in her hands. Jesse didn’t say anything as he took a drag of his cigarette, Laurie recognized the gaze that was plastered on Jesse’s face.

And it was safe to say that the blond son of a bitch was beyond pissed at her. 

“We met Pat Garret here out on the road, minding our own business,” Billy jumped in, trying to take Jesse’s glare away from the already nervous teenager. Jesse just hummed in response as Billy looked around at the small ranch. “It’s a neat little hideout.”

“Oh, I like it. Real private,” Jesse answered, throwing away his cigarette, shoving his hands into his pockets as he walked over. “You remember the boys?”

“Sure do,” Billy answered, his horse subtly taking a step forward, almost acting like a shield for Laurie. “This okay, Jesse?”

Jesse simply smiled at Billy, nodding his head. “Sure it is, Kid. I’m really glad to see you, Billy. And I’m even more happy to know that Lauren is safe.”

“She prefers Laurie,” Billy said to Jesse, who simply nodded with a shrug.

“Surely fate’s brought us back together again,” Jesse continued, “You gonna ride with us this time?” Jesse looked over at Laurie. “And actually stay with us?”

“Depends, you gonna treat Laurie like a human bein’ now?,” Billy asked, glancing at Laurie and then at the cow that was in the process of being prepared for food. “Also depends on what you’re cookin’.”

“Rustling John Chisum’s cattle. You’ve heard of John Chisum? They call him the Cattle King of America. He’s got cattle here in Texas, in New Mexico, all over Lincoln County. He is one rich son of a bitch, and we’re making good money selling his cattle to the army,” Jesse replied, “And as I’ve said before. I am gonna make it my life’s mission to make it up to Lauren for how I treated her. It was wrong.” He paused for a moment. “You two back in?” 

Laurie immediately called bullshit, she knew he didn’t regret a single thing when it came to how he treated her. Men like that never feel bad for what they do to the people who trusted them. But she nodded, saying yes for Billy’s sake. Because either it was to stay with the gang or go to some shitty orphanage. 

The red headed girl dismounted Artax, stroking the stallion’s neck before gently leading him to the water trough where she began to untack him. She gently tugged the bridle off of his face, giving him a mint before hanging it up on the fence post when she heard someone behind her. Laurie had memorized footsteps long enough to recognize it was Jesse who was approaching her. The young teenager whipped her head around to face him, she was still like a jumpy doe because of him.

“Runt,” Jesse said.

“Jesse,” Laurie sighed, hearing the all too familiar nickname never got any easier. Artax pinned his ears upon seeing Jesse, the stud never liked Jesse and the feeling was mutual on Jesse’s end as well.

“The hell were you thinkin’, running off like that?,” he hissed. Laurie took a slight step back, afraid that he would hit her again.

No, he wouldn’t do that.

Not when there were so many witnesses.

“I’m sorry, okay?,” Laurie responded, swallowing as she turned back around, undoing the cinch on Artax’s saddle. Jesse would’ve said more if Billy didn’t walk over to them, leaning on the fence as he tilted his head to the side.

“Just getting reacquainted,” Jesse reassured, seeing the look of suspicion on Billy’s face. Billy nodded, the look on his face screamed ‘better be.’ 

Laurie removed Artax’s saddle and rested it on the fence before gently putting a rope over the horse’s neck and leading him into the small pasture, but Artax didn’t leave Jesse unharmed. The stud purposefully stood on his foot and once that was done, he swished his tail, directly hitting Jesse in the face, whinnying in amusement. Laurie giggled quietly, secretly giving him a treat for that as she let him go into the pasture. 

ⅠⅠⅠⅠ

Later that night, Laurie sat at a table with Billy, eating her dinner quietly while the two friends engaged in conversation. She wasn’t really contributing anything but she knew that the two older men knew that she was there and that she was also listening. 

“What happened to Barbara?,” Billy suddenly asked, Laurie lifted her head upon the name. Even though Barbara did little to nothing to stop the ongoing abuse that Laurie would receive from Jesse, she also couldn’t help but wonder what happened to her, especially because she hadn’t seen her around. 

“Oh, you know, she, uh… moved on,” Jesse explained, “She left not long after Lauren ran off.”

“Moved on to where?,” Billy asked, wanting to know more as Laurie reached over, taking his whiskey and drinking it. 

“If you must know, she got herself a job as a schoolteacher,” Jesse sighed, getting a little annoyed at the constant stream of questions about his ex. “Can you imagine that? Miss Jones.”

Laurie shrugged, putting the bottle down and sharply inhaling. Her head becoming fuzzy as the alcohol clouded her mind, she shook her head, feeling rattled. SHe really needed to stop stealing drinks.

“Actually, I can,” Billy chuckled, smiling a little bit at the thought.

“Is that right?,” Jesse responded, “You didn’t think for a second that she was too beautiful just to waste her life as a teacher in school?”

“It ain’t a waste, Jesse,” Billy countered, adjusting his posture in his seat. “There are plenty of kids out there who would kill to be able to learn how to do stuff like readin’. Besides, Barbara was always a teacher. Shit, I think she taught me and you more than we could ever know.” 

“Jesus Christ,” Jesse scoffed, “What do you figure you can learn from a teacher in school you can’t find out for yourself?”

“Reading,” Laurie suddenly said, the alcohol she had just consumed making her a lot more confident now.

Jesse just shrugged once more, not really wanting to hear anymore of this as he got up. Billy looked over at Laurie, confused at her newfound confidence but when his eyes landed on the whiskey bottle he shook his head.

“Lightweight,” he sighed, standing up and helping the drunk teenager to her feet, taking her to where she would be sleeping that night. 

A/N:

LAURIE IS MY BABY

Artax's beef with Jesse is my new favorite thing ever

Will Laurie find her Mama? Or is she gonna remain motherless?

Tag:

@slutforsnow

#the runt #billy the kid hc #billy the kid imagine #billy the kid x reader #william h bonney #billy mccarty #billy the kid #billy the kid 2022 #billy the kid x oc #runt of the litter #billy the kid gif #billy the kid fanfiction #coriolanus snow #tom blyth #the old west #motherless

[squoxle]

𝔄 𝔇𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔇𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔥🥀{𝐈𝐈}

*𝓦𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓯𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓪 𝓭𝓮𝓪𝓭 𝓶𝓪𝓷 𝔀𝓪𝓵𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰*

☆☆𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘹𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘴：ⓌⒶⓇⓃⒾⓃⒼ

<<𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐬𝐦𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐧𝐮𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡>>

♔♡︎𝚏𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐... 𝚔𝚙𝚘𝚙 𝚒𝚍𝚘𝚕𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 (𝚗𝚠𝚓𝚗𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚡𝚝)♡︎♔

✩𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨：𝖧𝖾𝖾𝗌𝗎𝖾𝗇𝗀 𝗑 𝖱𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 （𝖿𝖾𝗆𝖺𝗅𝖾）

✩𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒：𝖱𝗈𝗆𝖺𝗇𝖼𝖾／𝖳𝗁𝗋𝗂𝗅𝗅𝖾𝗋／𝖬𝗒𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗒

✩𝑊𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡：4,000~

✩𝑆𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦： 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐇𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠.

꧁𝕃𝕚𝕟𝕜 𝕥𝕠 𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝟙

♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎

Heeseung was busy in the kitchen washing dishes when he heard the phone ringing. It was none other than his bloodthirsty friend calling. But why? *What could he possibly want now?* Heeseung thought to himself before answering the call. “Hello?” “Hey buddy. Quick question for ya. Pay attention, I need you to listen carefully and answer honestly. Have you been talking to any girls lately?” “No, why?” “Are you sure? You know what happens when you lie to me.” The sound of chains rattling followed by weak feminine whimpering halted his thoughts. “Wait!” There was a moment of silence before Heeseung responded. “There is one girl. But we’re just friends. Please don’t hurt her.” “Hurt who? Your insipid, bratty little sister…or your shiny new toy? If you care so much about either one of these sluts, you should introduce your girlfriend to your friends. You know our tradition.” “I’ll do whatever you want. Just please don’t hurt my sister.” “Now…why would I do something like that? This is your only sister. Honestly, she’s really all the family you have.” Heeseung was afraid to speak. He knew saying the wrong thing wouldn’t go so well for his sister, but he had to speak to her. It was the only way he could be sure that she was okay. “Can I talk to her?” “Of course you can, friend.” “H-Haerin…” he could only hear the sound of her muffled whimpers. “Your big brother is talking to you. Have some respect, you little bitch.” His friend smacked Haerin across the face before ripping the gag off of her mouth. He then proceeded to choke her, and her agonizing wails filled Heeseung’s ears. “LEAVE HER ALONE!” He screamed. “Okay.” His friend replied. “Heeseung! Help me!” Haerin cried before the call abruptly cut off. Heeseung fell to the ground, crying. He was his friend’s helpless puppet. Forced to follow his every command for the sake of his sister.

Heeseung grew up in an orphanage. After his parents and older brother died in a car crash, he was sent to a home for abandoned children. That’s where he met Haerin. At this time, Heeseung was almost 12 years old and Haerin was already 7. She came from an abusive family. Her father was an alcoholic and when he’d have a little too much to drink, he’d beat her and her mother. His excuse was that he was ex-military and suffering from PTSD. But that was just a bullshit lie to cover up the fact that he was a monster. When he hospitalized her mother from broken bones and a concussion, he told the doctors that she had attempted suicide by jumping out of a window. In reality, he had thrown her down the stairs. Another lie to mask the years of physical and mental abuse he had done to her. Her mother was sent to a mental institution, and Haerin was left in the care of her father. Unlike her mother, who was home most of the time, Haerin went to school. As the bruises became more severe, her 3rd grade teacher filed a police report against her father. He was arrested after proven guilty and she was sent to the orphanage. But her nightmare didn’t stop there. A group of older boys constantly picked on her, but when Heeseung found out, he threatened to kill them if they ever lay another finger on her head. From that moment on, the two of them grew closer. And when Heeseung left, he took her with him. She was like his little sister and he swore to protect her, no matter what.

His friend told him he had to introduce you to the rest of his friends. He knew he needed to act quickly or else…he didn’t even want to think about what would happen if he didn’t do exactly as he was told.

Ring. Ring. You picked up the phone to see that Heeseung was calling. “Hey.” You said in a chipper voice. You were always excited to talk to him. “Hey. Are you busy today? I want to introduce you to my friends.” He replied. You couldn’t tell that anything was wrong with him. He had to be sure that you didn’t suspect a thing. “Actually, I have to run a few errands today. I’ve got to restock my fridge, do my laundry, head to the library to study for the big exam coming up, I also have to go shopping because I need a new dress…” Heeseung’s heart sank as these words left your mouth. “Just kidding!” You giggled. “What time do you wanna meet up?” “As soon as possible.” “Hehe. Alright, well, give me like thirty minutes before you come pick me up.” “What! That’s how long it takes for me to get to your apartment.” “I know.” You said playfully before hanging up.

Heeseung group messaged all of his friends to meet up. Jake, Sunghoon, and Jay. He had a small friend group. Excluding his murderous friend would make this group even smaller. But he knew if he cut him off…he would kill his sister. She was captured on her way off to college. She was very smart, so after she graduated high school, Heeseung helped her get into a 4-year university not far from where he lived. She was supposed to be living on campus right now. But after his friend caught him snooping, he kidnapped his sister to keep him from telling the cops. If he knew where his sister was being held, he would’ve ratted on him by now.

Heeseung picked you up and drove you to Jake’s house. Jake typically has the best snacks, drinks, and games. So his house was the best place to go. Sunghoon’s apartment is pretty quiet. The most exciting thing would be his coffee machine—that and his collection of card/board games. And Jay…well Jay’s house feels two steps away from some expensive condo. His house would be better for a dinner date or something.

“Wassup bro?” Jake said, handing Heeseung a cold beer. “Sunghoon and Jay are in the living room. You can join them if you like,” He continued, pointing his beer bottle toward the living room. “Is this your girlfriend?” Jake asked before teasing Heeseung. “Guysss! Deungie has a girlfriend!” He laughed before grabbing you around the waist. “Jake is handsy with everyone. Don’t mind him. A little tradition of ours is that anytime one of us gets a girlfriend, we all get a one on one with her. It’s kinda like a test. No pressure.” Jay said to you from the couch. You were slightly nervous about just going off with his friends alone, but what’s the worst that could happen?

Jake still had his hand around your waist as he walked you to the kitchen. “You’re really pretty.” Jake said as he turned to face you. “I mean…I could look at you all day long. Heeseung’s a lucky guy to have a cutie like you.” He continued, gently gliding his hand across your cheek. “That’s enough flirting, Jakey.” Jay hollered. “Okay. Okay. I was just messing around.” He chuckled. “Would you like something to drink? If you’re not a drinker, I have soda, juice, and water. Your choice.” He continued as he opened the refrigerator. You went for a Cola. “So, tell me about yourself. What’d you like? What’re you interested in? Stuff like that. Here I’ll go first and you can copy me.” Jake held your hand and walked you over to the set of wooden bar stools. “Hello, I’m Jake. I’m a bit of an airhead and a bit of a flirt. My friends tell me that if I were as great of a genius as am a clown that I’d have a higher GPA. Hmm, let’s see what else. I can also be easily distracted by beautiful women like yourself.” He winked. “Jake!” Jay shouted. “Relax. I’m only teasing. Can a guy have a little fun?” Jake laughed. “Alright, now it’s your turn.” “Okay…I’m Y/N and…I-I don’t know. There isn’t really much to say.” You stuttered. “Way to go, filling her brain with your bullshit.” Jay threw a pillow at Jake, spilling some of his beer on his shirt. “Aww fuck. Seriously Jay!? I’ll be right back,” Jake said, tugging at his shirt before walking off.

Jay motioned his hand for you to come sit by him. As you walked over to have a seat, Jay pulled you to sit on his lap. “Sorry about Jake. He’s kinda like the pet in our family. Sometimes you gotta smack him if he gets too friendly.” “It’s okay.” You chuckled nervously. *First, Jake. Now, Jay. What’s up with the men in this house? They’re obviously attractive, but I’m not interested. And why do they keep calling me Heeseung’s girlfriend? We’ve never even kissed.* you thought to yourself as Jay played with your hair. “Hey. I’m gonna borrow Y/N for a second. I need her help with something.” Jay said to Heeseung. He gently patted your waist before leading you down the hallway by the hand. “What did you need my help with?” You asked, but he didn’t respond. He just flashed you with a sly smirk before opening one of the doors down the hall. Jake was lying on the bed, still shirtless. “I was wondering what was taking you so long.” Jake smiled. “We’re not in here for you.” Jay scoffed. “Aww come on. It’s been a while since we had a three way. And she’s the perfect girl for us.” “I’m sure she’d agree some other time, but right now you need to go.” “What?” “Put your damn shirt on and leave.” Jake scoffed before aggressively pulling a plain white tee over his head.

“Ok, so what the hell are we doing back here? I’m not in the mood for some weird, freaky sesh with you.” “No, it’s nothing like that. You just reminded me of something.” “What?…” Jay waited a few minutes before he finally spoke. “There’s something very serious that I need to tell you about Heeseung,” but before Jay could finish, Sunghoon barged in. “Heeseung’s looking for you two.” “Tell him we’re busy.” “I don’t think he’ll care.” “Just gimme a few minutes.” “Fine…I’ll tell him.” Sunghoon said as he closed the door behind himself. “I don’t know how much you really care about him or how much you really know but—“

Heeseung barged through the door. “Let’s go. I’m taking you home.” “What? Why?” Now you were worried. What was Jay trying to tell you? Should you be afraid? Why was Heeseung in such a rush to bring you back home? You hadn’t even been there an hour, and he already wanted to go. Heesueng grabbed your arm, squeezing it so tight that you refused to argue.

He drove around for a bit before parking at a gas station. He had a stern expression and was dead silent until you built up enough courage to ask him what the hell was going on. “What happened back there?” You asked. “Nothing. Just stupid guy stuff. You wouldn’t understand.” He grumbled. “Whatever.” You rolled your eyes. “What’d he tell you?” “Huh?” “What’d Jay tell you in that room?” “Why do you care? Are you hiding something?” “Just tell me what the hell he said or I’m ditching your ass on this corner.” You had never seen Heeseung like this. Until now, he was funny and sweet, but now you were left with an aggressive and brash brute. “He didn’t tell me anything.” “I know you’re lying to me.” “I’m not lying. You barged in before he could finish what he was saying.” “Get out.” “Wait, what?” “GET OUT!!” “Heeseung…” He started to aggressively snatch your seatbelt off. Then he stepped out of the car, slammed the door behind him, and walked over to your door. He yanked the door open with so much force that the wind blew past your face. Your eyes filled up with tears. You were terrified at this point. It must’ve been one hell of a secret if he was behaving like this at the thought of you knowing. He froze at the sight of your expression. He closed your door and climbed back into his seat. “I’m sorry…it’s just—it’s just that. About a year ago, I got into a car accident with one of my friends and after that I started to have these blackouts. I’d wake up in places I didn’t recognize. One time, I woke up near a dumpster covered in blood. When I finally went to the doctor about it, he prescribed me some medications. And they’ve been working, but it’s still something I’d rather not share. I occasionally have mood swings, I have something for that as well, and I even have vivid nightmares about dying…” “Heeseung I didn’t know it was that serious.” “We can stop hanging out after today if you want.” “I’m not going anywhere, but from now on you don’t need to be afraid to tell me anything. I’d just prefer if you didn’t scare the hell out of me.” “Sorry about that.” “And don’t drag me around like some rag doll.” “Sorry about that too.”

After dropping you off, Heeseung went back to his house. Embarrassed of the way he behaved, he just wanted to forget this whole day happened. He grabbed a beer from the pantry. Heeseung hated warm beer, but he just needed a drink. He wished he could go back to the day of the car crash. If he had only stayed home…

( 4:56pm — October 14 )

It was the day before Heeseung’s birthday and he planned to go out with his friends to celebrate til midnight. “Haeri, I’m gonna be going out in an hour with some friends. I wrapped up some dinner for you on the stove. You can eat it whenever you’re ready.” “Well, I’m ready now. No big brother means I can eat as many snacks as I want.” Haerin giggled as she took a seat on a metal bar stool. “Since you’re gonna be out all night, can I invite my friends over?” “No way.” “Awww. Pleeeeeeeease.” “Which friends are you referring to?” “Just Minji and Danielle.” “And who are they bringing?” “Bruh…I don’t know.” “Well, if they’re not here before I leave, you can forget about it.” “Okay.” Haerin pulled out her phone to FaceTime with the two girls. “Hey ladiesssss!” “Heyyy.” Minji said in a singsong voice. “What’s up girlie?” Danielle chimed. “Heeseung said I can have a sleepover tonight. Are y’all down?” “Of course we are.” “I’m already picking out my pjs.” “Oooh Dani, can you pick up some snacks?” “Totally. Should I get some movies too?” “No, I think we’re good here.” “How about face masks? We can have a little spa night, too. I’ll bring my nail kit.” “Yes, we’ll do all of that.” “Are boys allowed?” “Absolutely NOT!” Heeseung shouted from his room. “I’ll take that as a no,” Minji said before the girls bursted into laughter. “But you guys gotta be quick. He wants to see who’s gonna be here before he leaves.” “Okay, we’ll be there.”

( 5:50pm — October 14 )

As instructed, the girls arrived a little less than an hour later with so many bags they looked like they were moving in. Either that or it was a Christmas surprise. Right after the girls’ parents dropped them off, Beomgyu drove up to pick up Heeseung. “Hurry, birthday boy! We’re already late and you only have a few more hours until you’re officially 21!” Beomgyu shouted from the driver’s seat. “Alright, I’m coming!” Heeseung shouted back. “You girls have full access to the house. Just stay out of my room, okay? That’s the only rule.” “What about boys?” Minji asked, flashing a cheeky smile. “No, boys at all. Don’t call them. Don’t text them. Don’t even THINK about them unless they’re your father.” “Booo, you’re no fun.” “What about brothers? Can we think about them?” Danielle chimed. “Uhhh…sure whatever.” Heeseung replied. “Okay, girls, I really gotta go now. See ya later. Bye Rinnie!” “Byee. Love you!” “Love you too,” Heeseung said before heading outside. “Your brother is so cute. Do you think I have a chance with him? I think we’d make a pretty cute couple.” “Eww. Gross. And no way.” “Hehe. Well I’m more interested in his friend.” “Beomgyu?” “No, the other one.” “Oh…yea he’s good looking I guess.”

( 6:14pm — October 14 )

“Okay boys. Who’s ready to PARTY!!” Beomgyu cheered before driving away. “Dude, the party is gonna be so awesome. Oh, and I made the cake. Well, not completely by myself. More like I watched my mom bake it while I licked cake batter from the bowl. But that doesn’t matter anyway, right? It’s the thought that counts.” Beomgyu chuckled. “I can’t wait until you open my gift. I went through hell getting that for you. And you better fucking love it.” His other friend laughed.

( 6:32pm — October 14 )

Unfortunately, the boys never made it to the surprise party they were throwing for Heeseung. As they were on their way, a drunk driver came speeding out of nowhere and collided with them. Beomgyu didn’t make it, but Heeseung and his other friend survived with severe injuries. Beomgyu died right beside him. The steering wheel was jammed right through his chest. It was about 20 minutes before the ambulance finally arrived. His friend in the backseat was unresponsive at the point. And Heeseung sat there the entire time in agonizing pain, both emotional and physical. The wails of Beomgyu’s mother were just as loud as the sirens. “Where’s my son? Where is he? Let me see him! LET ME SEE MY SON DAMMIT!” She caressed his lifeless body and placed kisses on his forehead. “It’s all gonna be okay.” She spoke vainly. Beomgyu had been dead for a while now… Maybe this was her way of coping, talking to her dead son’s body as if he had a wound that a kiss or a bandaid could easily heal.

Back at the hospital, Heeseung was stabilized, but he would need crutches for the next few months. His other friend had suffered from brain trauma and was in a mild coma for a few weeks. Haerin took two weeks off from school to help take care of her brother, and his friend was still in the hospital, accompanied by his grandmother.

His friend finally woke up after 4 months. But his grandmother didn’t hang around much longer after that. Aside from the passing of his grandmother, his friend was never been the same since that accident.

Heeseung shook his head. He hated thinking about that day, but it feels like that’s when everything changed. And not for the better.

The next few days proceeded as normal. The two of you continued to grow closer, despite his actions the other night. You even went over to Heeseung’s apartment for the first time. It was after a long boring day of classes. He thought it would be a good idea to have dinner at his house. “I’m not the best chef, but I can make some pretty good ramen. Is that okay?” “Sure.” You giggled. While he was busy cooking in the kitchen, you looked around. Not trying to be snoopy…you just wanted to see how he lived. The first room you saw was decorated as if he had someone else living with him. A girl. Curious, you stepped in looking around to see a picture frame laying face down on a desk. You lifted it up to reveal a picture of Heeseung and some girl. You had never seen her before and he never mentioned anyone else living with him. Was she his girlfriend? “Hey.” Heeseung’s voice startled you. “Dinner’s ready.” “Oh, okay.” You replied quickly before placing the photo face down.

You sat on the couch next to him with a warm bowl of tasty looking ramen. Heesueng switched on the tv before slurping his ramen. “You wanna know who she is?” His question caught you off guard, but you were curious about this mystery girl. “She’s my sister.” “I didn’t know you had a sister! How come you never told me?” Now you felt weird about assuming the girl was someone he was in a relationship with. “I just didn’t.” “Why? Are you guys not close anymore?” “No…actually. She’s in college.” “Oh really? Which one?” “Why are you interrogating me?” “Sorry…I-“ “Nevermind.” He said, shaking his head. “Well, you asked me if I wanted to know. And now you’re giving me an attitude? If you don’t want to answer the question, then just say that. You don’t have to get all touchy.” Heeseung was surprised by your reply. He was getting defensive over a simple question. “Sh-She’s not in college.” “What? I don’t get it. How is she in college and not in college at the same time?” “She was kidnapped.” “Oh, my gosh. So that’s why you didn’t want to tell me…I’m sorry.” “It’s not your fault. It’s actually mine.” “You can’t blame yourself for some psycho creep that kidnapped your little sister.” “You don’t understand. It really is my fault. I went sticking my nose where it didn’t belong instead of going to the police and now…and now she’s gone.” Heeseung set his ramen down on the coffee table before walking off. You saw his eyes swell up like a dam ready to burst, and you did the one thing any good friend would do.

“Heeseung?” You knocked on his bedroom door before entering. He was facing a wall with his hands against the dresser. “I wasn’t much of a smoker until recently.” He said before rummaging through his drawers to pull out a pack of cigarettes. “It’s hard thinking about how I let her slip through my fingers after swearing to protect her.” You followed Heeseung out to his balcony. “You want one?” “No, that’s ok.” “You sure?” “You know what…sure.” He handed you a cigarette and cupped your face to light it. “There are a few things you don’t know about me.” “Yea, obviously.” “I grew up in foster care. Haerin is my sister, but not biologically. I took her with me when I turned 18. That’s when we moved into this place.” “Oh…wow. I never would’ve thought that.” “Remember how I told you about that car accident?” “Yea…” “Well, there’s more to that story. It was the day before my birthday and my two best friends came over to pick me up. But on our way to the party, a drunk driver hit us… One of my friends died right beside me, and the other friend was in a coma for months.” “Oh my god, Heeseung. I-I don’t know what to say. Just know that I’m here for you whenever you need me, okay?” He was quiet for a bit before he asked you a question that seemed a little too specific to be a random thought. “How would you feel if you knew exactly when you were going to die and how it would happen?” “I guess I’d live my life the best way I could with the time I have left.” “Okay, how would you feel if you were going to die at the hands of your best friend?”

☆ Heesueng POV (story recap/inner thoughts):

︎ ❤︎︎<< { As much as I’m starting to fall in love with her, I regret ever meeting her. She’s perfect. I was being my normal jackass self when I completely exploded on her. I’m surprised she even wants to talk to me anymore. Also, I finally opened up to her about my past. I even told her about Rinnie… If I can at least figure out where he’s hiding her, I’ll be able to save her. I really want to tell Y/N which friend is trying to kill me, but I know he’s just gonna kill her and Haerin if I do… }>>❤︎︎

🩷💙🩷💙🩷💙🩷💙🩷💙🩷💙🩷💙🩷💙🩷💙

𝒜𝓊𝓉𝒽ℴ𝓇'𝓈 𝒩ℴ𝓉ℯ：

𝐴𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 2, 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑎 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑎𝑡 𝑔𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑜𝑓 𝐻𝑒𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑢𝑛𝑔’𝑠 𝑚𝑦𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑.

🩷Taglist: @hoyeonheeseung @cherrriesss @furious-eagle @sussyjake

#enhypen #kpop #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen smut #fanfic #enhypen fluff #enhypen heeseung #reading #explict #enha fluff #enhypen jake #enhypen jay #enhypen sunghoon #kpop fanfic #fandom polls #yn fanfic #18+ fanfic #haerin #danielle #newjeans minji #newjeans #beomgyu #choi beomgyu #txt #heeseung x yn #heeseung smau #lee heesung x reader #enha heeseung #enha smau #enhypen dark moon

[baddygab-bi]

This episode explicitly put space between Buck and Eddie, let me explain.

1. “What were you doing before you came over?” it’s a Saturday. Chris was at a friend’s. The writers could’ve said Eddie was hanging out with a friend, could’ve been hanging out with Buck. But they didn’t.

2. “Me and Chris, we’re a team” Explicitly Eddie only mentioned the two of them, though Bobby knows how much Buck is around the two of them. He didn’t have to leave off Buck, but the writers didn’t want to include him in the statement, since Bobby talks about having an important work/life balance and it could be twisted beyond what the writers were aiming for.

3. “I don’t want you to be alone anymore.” Eddie could’ve said he isn’t alone. He could’ve said he has his 118 family. That he has his friends. That he has Buck around all the time. That he’s not alone. But that wasn’t what happened. They had Eddie agree he is alone so they could set up the romantic interest.

Why are they putting space between them? Because if they are working towards one or the both of them having actual, long lasting love interests, they have to make it clear where the other man stands in their life. For Eddie, as of right now, regardless of anything else, based solely on what we see on screen, not digging into beer bottles in a fridge or magnets… For Eddie, they’re saying Buck isn’t as major a person in his life as previously thought. Now, as a viewer and a writer, I don’t like this. Since they do have a very solid best friendship, but the writers of the show all seem to sorta have a different idea of where things are gonna go led by a showrunner who is very explicit in her dislike of Buddie. Yet, I think this episode had multiple opportunities to drop even a single hint of Buck and Eddie being a thing if they wanted to.

At this point, it’s not “keeping them separate to have them grow means they’ll be canon soon” or “they can’t say anything because it’s a slowburn and that means nothing can be shown for a long time”

The exclusion doesn’t mean romance. Maybe it could’ve at one point. It really felt like it was leading somewhere. But now, exclusion just means exclusion. I think the show’s being super clear about things without being explicit, because they know the backlash. They’ll lose more fans and face more anger by keeping Buck and Eddie apart than by putting them together, so they’re going to keep things ambiguous for as long as possible. I know people are probably writing posts about how Eddie didn’t mention Buck at any of those times because “It didn’t need to be said, everyone knows how important Buck is. Everyone knows that Buck’s there.” But like… This is a TV show. 60% of the audience likely doesn’t read fanfiction or blogs, they get their info from the scene. They know what the characters are telling them. They aren’t reading into every line. The writers are writing for them. So, it does have to be said. If they wanted any sorta of hint drop, they’d make that explicit. They had many times tonight they could have. It’s super disappointing that they didn’t, but can’t change that now.

Also, am I the only one who didn’t love the “I don’t panic” call back? Because… he did panic before. He had panic attacks. Whether you say it was due to Ana (which is how it started) or his PTSD (which I think the show wanted it to be), he did have panic attacks to the point where he broke down and saw a therapist. He thought he was having a heart attack due to his panic attacks. They used the callback as a funny line, but to me it sorta erased the progress of having a strong male character actually come to terms with the fact that it’s okay to panic. It’s okay to need help. The callback just felt cheap and I didn’t love it. Ryan shoving pasta into his mouth was funny though.

#911 fox #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 spoilers #buddie #911 s6 spoilers #6b speculation

[sparklypinkflightsuit]

Predator and Prey: Chapter Eight

Pairing: Tommy Cahill x Reader

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, Minors do not interact, Slow Burn, War Inaccuracies, Lots of Swearing, Mention of PTSD but barely, Stalking, Abuse, Sexual Themes, Kidnapping, Drugging

Summary: Tommy calls Sam in to help him find you. Things take a wild turn.

- Chapter Seven Here -

———————————

18+ only beyond this point

———————————

Sam waited outside for Tommy, and gestured for him and Jet to come inside.

“I called my buddy Mike who works in our Surveillance unit. He’ll be over in an hour or two.” Sam said, opening the back door to the yard where the girls were playing.

“Hey girls! You wanna come inside? We’ve brought a friend for you to play with.” He called.

They ran inside excitedly, “Uncle Tommy!” They both exclaimed, running up to hug him.

“Woah, you two have gotten huge, how old are you now, huh? 50?” He ruffled their heads, they laughed at him.

“Jet, come here boy.” Sam called, crouching on his heels. Jet ran up and began licking Sam’s face.

“Puppy!” Isabelle squealed, giving him a hug.

“Daddy and uncle Tommy have some work to do, so we were hoping you could keep Jet occupied for a few hours, think you can do that?” The girls nodded excitedly and ran off with Jet to play ball outside.

Tommy sighed and his faux carefree expression dropped from his face. He didn’t know how they were going to find you, but he wasn’t going to wait 24 hours to get the cops involved, even then he wasn’t sure what good they would do, so Mike was their best option.

Grace walked into the living room, “Hey Tommy.” She said awkwardly. Tommy smiled politely and waived. “Hey Grace.”

“Hey hon, you know (Y/N) from the book store don’t you?” Sam asked.

She nodded.

“Well there’s something we should tell you.” He said, motioning for her to sit down.

Sam and Tommy both told Grace what has been going on, and how Jason had found you and Tommy was certain he’d taken you. Grace was horrified and offered any help she could.

“I’m so sorry Tommy, I hope you guys find her soon, I really do.” She smiled gently at him.

“But Sam, tonight is Isabelle’s school play, we have to leave the house in 2 hours. I understand if you can’t go, but the girls and I have to, so we can’t watch Jet all night.”

“That’s ok, I can call Jets dog walker, Chloe, we’ll get her to take Jet for the night, it’s no problem.” Tommy smiled at Grace thankfully.

Grace nodded, and left to get herself ready.

Finally Mike arrived with his set up, and arranged all of his computers on the dining room table.

“Tommy we’re going to need you to plug your phone into this, and call (Y/N).” Mike instructed.

“But her phone is off, will it work?” Tommy asked.

“No, but our only hope is that she turns her phone on at some point, or that whoever has her does, and then we can get a signal.” Mike said.

Tommy rubbed both hands over his face in frustration, he was growing desperate.

“Okay, yeah. Thank you Mike, I really appreciate you doing this.” He said.

Tommy plugged his phone in, and dialled your number.

“Hi, sorry I can’t get to the phone right now, just drop me a message and I’ll call you back as soon as I can.”

Tommy sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“It’s ok, we just need to keep trying.” Mike smiled reassuringly at Tommy. Tommy and Sam nodded back.

Tommy waited 10 minutes before trying you again, and it again went straight to voice mail.

He did this two more times, with the same result. Grace walked in with the girls, ready to leave for the play.

“Sam, are you sure you can’t come?” She asked.

Sam was about to reply that he had to stay and help Tommy, but he was interrupted.

“He can go. Sam, seriously, go. It’s probably gonna be a long night.” Tommy insisted.

“You sure?” Sam asked, doubting whether it was a good idea.

Tommy nodded and forced a smile.

Sam and Grace left with the kids, while you and Mike tried a few more times to get through to you without luck.

Jet began to whine with boredom.

“Shit. Uh, Mike, I just need to call the dog walker quick.” He said.

Mike nodded while he searched as much as he could about Jason on his systems.

Tommy quickly googled Chloe to get her number, and dialled.

It rang a few times before she eventually answered.

“Hello, Chloe Monroe speaking.” She said in a hushed tone.

“Hi Chloe, this is Tommy Cahill. You don’t know me but I’m (Y/N)’s… boyfriend. I was wondering if you’d be able to take Jet for the night? We’ve had a bit of an emergency, I’m happy to pay whatever.” He pleaded.

Chloe was quiet for a while, before she eventually spoke again, “Uh, yeah sure. Where do you want me to pick him up?”

Tommy thought this was an odd question, aware that Chloe had a key and would always pick Jet up from home.

“We could meet you at (Y/N)’s house, or I can bring him to you?” Tommy offered.

“No that’s fine, I’ll meet you at (Y/N)’s house. I can be there in like 30 minutes.” She said softly.

Mike prodded Tommy in the back, Tommy ignored him. “Yeah that sounds good, thanks Chloe, see you then.”

Mike prodded Tommy again, Tommy turned around to see what he wanted.

“See you then.” Chloe confirmed and hung up.

Mike pointed at the screen with a confused look on his face. Tommys phone was still plugged in and his call with Chloe had picked up a signal.

“Isn’t that (Y/N)’s house?” Mike asked, pointing at the red pin on the screen hovering over your address.

Tommy dropped his phone, and clasped his hand over his mouth.

He nodded. Some things suddenly made sense, others now completed thrown off course.

Chloe was acting strange, at least he thought so. She had asked where to pick Jet up, and she was hushed on the phone, muffled even. She had a key and that would explain how someone was getting into the house. It didn’t explain the letters from Jason or why Chloe would be involved in any way, but Tommy didn’t care about that now, all he wanted was to find you.

“Have you got a gun?” Tommy asked Mike as he stood up to put his coat on.

Tommy and Mike raced over to the house, opting to leave Jet at Sam’s place. He dropped Sam a quick call to let him know what was going on, Sam said he’d be right there.

When they arrived at the house, the door was still unlocked, how Tommy had found it, and they let themselves in carefully and quietly. Tommy had already searched the house before, but they did so again in the hopes they may have missed a crawl space or hatch somewhere.

Nothing. Tommy growled angrily and punched the hallway wall, and heard a rattling noise above him.

The attic hatch door was not on securely and rattled from the impact of the punch.

“Have you checked up there?” Mike asked, Tommy looked astonished, he had never noticed the attic hatch before.

He ran to the kitchen to grab a bar stool from the island and placed it directly under the hatch. Mike helped him up onto the stool, and Tommy pushed the hatch open. Before Tommy hoisted himself up into the attic, Mike stopped him.

“Take this.” He handed him the handgun. “But don’t use it unless you absolutely have to, seriously, I mean life or death, got it?”

Tommy nodded, putting the gun in his waistband. Tommy hoisted himself into the attic and the stench of stale urine and what could only be described as decay filled his nostrils. He coughed to clear his airways and waited a few seconds for his eyes to adjust to the darkness.

He managed to make out black trash bags on his end of the attic, and a few beams separating him from the back end. Carefully he stood and walked towards the back.

Suddenly he saw slight movement from behind the beams, and pulled the gun out just in case. He edged slowly towards the back of the dark attic, the floor creaking loudly beneath him. Mike hoisted himself up and coughed at the smell.

“Christ, what is that?”

Tommy kept quiet as he slowly walked towards where he had seen the movement.

He let out a soft cry at what he saw, and carefully but quickly tucked the gun back into his waistband.

At the back of the attic lay a single iron framed bed, and on that bed is where you lay, tied at the hands and feet.

“(Y/N). (Y/N), baby, it’s me.” Tommy said, kneeling next to the bed and tapping your cheeks.

You didn’t respond, you had been drugged heavily and your eyes were at the back of your head, as you writhed slightly under your constraints. The linen strips used to bind your hands and feet were so tight your fingers were already turning blue.

“Baby, wake up.” Tommy sobbed, wracked with guilt and sick with worry, as he tapped your cheeks gently again.

“Tommy watch out!” Mike cried out as someone walked out of the dark behind Tommy.

Suddenly he felt a heavy clunk on the back of his head as something hard and cold struck him.

Tommy fell onto the floor and turned around to see his attacker, injured but not knocked unconscious, and quickly pulled out the gun and clicked off the safety. He pointed the gun at Chloe as she stood over him with a hammer.

“Don’t. Fucking. Move. I swear to god I will blow your brains out.” He spat at her, blood dripping from his head.

Chloe looked surprised her blow didn’t work, and she hadn’t accounted for a second person being there with them. Mike closed in slowly and grabbed the hammer before tackling Chloe to the ground. He pulled her hands behind her and held her in place with a knee in her back.

“The gun, Tommy, give me the gun.” Mike instructed. Tommy scrambled to his feet and gave the gun to Mike. His hand touched the back of his head. It was a bad gash but nothing immediately life threatening.

Tommy dropped to his knees next to you, and began undoing the tight knots.

“Jesus, Tommy. This bitch has been living in here. There’s buckets of piss and trash bags everywhere. Think we’ve got a phrogger on our hands. Sick fuck!” He said, pushing harder with his knee into her back. Chloe whimpered.

Tommy ignored him, freeing you from your confines. He sat on the bed and pulled you into a sitting position. Your head lolled as he tried to bring you to consciousness.

“Baby, look at me.” He whispered, placing gentle kisses on your face. “Mike I think we need to call an ambulance.”

Just then the door slammed shut downstairs and he heard Sam call his name.

“Sam! We’re up here!” Tommy called.

Sam made his way up into the attic and swore loudly at the smell and the scene that he saw when his eyes adjusted.

Mike and Sam worked to tie Chloe’s hands behind her back with the linen Tommy had removed from yours, and sat her in the corner where they could watch her. Tommy called 911, briefly explaining the situation.

“You gonna tell us why you kidnapped her, and what the fuck you’ve been doing up here?” Mike questioned Chloe. She spat at him and said nothing.

Mike pulled his gun to her head and pushed it into her temple, “You sure about that?”

Chloe looked scared, and buckled under the pressure.

“Okay okay! It’s not me alright. I’m just helping my boyfriend!” She cried.

“Your boyfriend?” Sam questioned. “Is your boyfriend Jason?”

Chloe nodded, “We met in New York a couple years ago. He said she was a bad person, and she needed to be brought back to New York.”

Chloe then told them about how her and Jason met in a secret society they had joined, both having been from prominent backgrounds, however the leader of the society required a blood sacrifice for Jason to be officially allowed at the head table, a position his family had been pushing him towards for a long time.

Jason had offered your name in a drunken and drugged state, having had an argument with you the night before, and feeling an in-proportionate amount of anger towards you at that moment in time.

He had told you he was going to a rave with friends, you had asked him not to go, and that it was time to stop partying all the time now that they had reached their mid twenties and had a life and a career. This resulted in an argument and he had stormed out.

The next day, Jason had been wracked with guilt, but he couldn’t take your name back once he had offered it. He had no choice if he was to fulfil his destiny and his family’s expectations.

This is why Jason had accused you of doing bad things like cheating and assassination attempts, in the desperate and crazy hope you’d admit to one of them, giving him a reason to hate you, making this easier for him. But then you did the one thing that removed all love he had for you, in essence inadvertently removing any safety you had; you left him.

Jason had come to your apartment that night with one thing in mind. To kill you and take you to “Him”, his leader. His sacrifice finally complete.

Because this attempt had failed and you had fled, he knew he couldn’t show up in your new town for the fear you’d recognise him.

So he had waited and waited, until he met Chloe. Chloe fell head over heels for Jason, and had agreed to do this for him.

She moved to your small town and posted a flyer through your door.

‘Chloe Monroe - Dog Walker and Sitter’

Her prices were so cheap, it was hard to ignore and you had fallen for it.

After interviewing Chloe and seeing how she was with Jet, you had hired her to walk him at lunch time every day that you worked. You had given her a spare key to let herself in and out.

This allowed Chloe to set up in your attic. She was the one who opened the kitchen window, staging a break in to mess with your head. She had left the letter in your kitchen pretending to be from Jason, to freak you out. It was all part of the fun. She didn’t need to do this but Jason insisted he wanted you to lose your mind before he took you. Revenge for what you did to him.

The cops arrived, taking Chloe away after being told what had happened. Shortly after an ambulance pulled up, and everyone worked together to get you out of the attic and into the back of the ambulance.

Tommy thanked Mike and Sam, and went with you to the hospital. Mike and Sam stayed back to assist the cops further. It wouldn’t be long until Grace and the girls got home, they’d walk Jet and look after him for the night.

Tommy breathed a slight sigh of relief, but he couldn’t believe what had just happened.

All he cared about in that moment was that you were ok, and that he had found you before Jason arrived to take you away.

He just hoped this was the last of the horrors, and that Jason wasn’t already on his way.

—————————————

- Final Chapter Here -

#jake gyllenhaal #character: elwood dalton #jake gyllenhaal gif #quentin beck #donnie darko #jake gyllenhaal gifs #gyllenhaaledit #jack twist #roadhouse #movie: road house #prisoners movie #detective loki #david loki #detective david loki #prisoners 2013 #jimmylivingston #road house #bubble boy #jacob benjamin gyllenhaal #jacob gyllenhaal #tommy cahill #tommy cahill x reader #jake gyllenhaal x reader

[waitmyturtles]

A quick Old GMMTV Challenge update, plus bonus notes on two Japanese BL doramas, Our Dining Table and Tokyo In April Is... !

1) Dark Blue Kiss review dropping Monday. I LOVED IT. It was an utter delight to watch He’s Coming To Me and DBK, plus the Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars, all within three weeks of each other. It was the Aof Noppharnach Showcase Spectacular that I needed in my life. Now that I’m watching TharnType -- I really needed the salve. 

2) I want to let anyone who’s following the OGMMTVC know that, for the sake of my sanity, I’m going to start watching TharnType on 1.5x speed. If I miss any nuances, so be it. I just learned some fact about MAME that has set me off, which I’ll discuss in my review, and I feel I need to get this show off the list ASAP. 

3) Two doramas! The Our Dining Table spin-off! I’m glad we’re not calling it an epilogue, because the epilogue in the original manga was different. The spin-off was SO LOVELY, right? The way Minoru hunched over in the onsen. The way Yutaka stumbled over Minoru’s confusion about Ohata. It was perfectly cute AND perfectly emotional. Ueda-san is a GOD. I am going to miss this show terribly.

4) And, thanks to @troubled-mind‘s note about the makers of Tokyo In April Is... (the same as ODT!), I’ve picked it up. And with @lurkingshan’s note about that manga -- I’ll be reading it ASAP. I really liked the first episode. I have PTSD over people disappearing for 10 years after watching The Promise, I have to admit. But I’m glad to have a dorama to step in for the void left by ODT.

That’s it! And: fuck TharnType.

#the old gmmtv challenge #ogmmtvc #tharntype #our dining table #tokyo in april is... #tokyo in april #dark blue kiss #backaof noppharnach #bokura no shokutaku

[a-crumb-of-whump]

A New Beginning #4: A Shopping Trip (Pt. 2)

Masterlist

Content: Vampire whumpee, human caretaker(s), multiple caretakers, PTSD/trauma, panic attack, [mentioned] beatings, [mentioned] starvation.

-

The mall was relatively quiet that evening, much to Carlos’ relief. He’d been fretting over it all day, despite Ryker’s multiple attempts to calm him down and direct his attention elsewhere. It stressed him out knowing that the humans he was now living with could see right through his carefully developed façade, whether he wanted them to or not. He wondered if his previous owners could see it as well, or if they just didn’t care enough. Either way, it made him want to hide.

Although, admittedly, it didn’t seem all that bad to him when Adam noticed the way he was holding his breath as they walked into the building and grabbed his hand. At first he felt himself flinch, completely unused to touch that didn’t hurt, before his body relaxed and he tentatively allowed himself to hold it just that bit tighter.

“We should get some dinner while we’re here,” Ryker suggested. Carlos assumed he could smell food somewhere close by because he could too, and it made him want to hold his nose until they were far, far away from wherever it was coming from. The smell was putrid.

Both Adam and Ryker laughed as soon as they noticed the grimace on the vampire’s face. “Not a fan, huh?” Ryker teased, reaching out to ruffle his hair. “Don’t worry. It won’t be for you. Now, tell me; have you ever had the chance to explore your clothing style?”

Carlos frowned, forcing himself to speak up as much as he could over the sound of all the other people around them. Unfortunately, it still only came out in a soft, raspy voice that only Adam seemed to hear.

“I don’t, uhm… I don’t think so. Usually other people pick out my clothes out for me… I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to apologise for,” Adam assured him. “Clothing and fashion is right up my alley, so I’m more than happy to help you out.”

Almost immediately, Ryker broke out into a grin from beside them. “You should see his closet. There’s gotta be over a hundred pieces of clothing in there and about two percent of it is mine.”

Carlos’ eyes widened. He wasn’t very good at maths, but that sounded like a very small amount. Why were they willing to spend money on him when Ryker had so little to wear? Why did Adam have so much? Wasn’t that a little excessive?

“M-may I use the money you put aside for me, to get clothes for you instead?” he eventually asked. Ryker instantly looked down at him, eyebrows furrowed confusedly. “I can, uhm… I can go without clothes of my own, if it helps. You deserve them more than me.”

 For what it was worth, Ryker seemed to smile at his offer. “I was exaggerating, buddy, but thank you. I have more than enough clothes to get me by.”

“B-but, but I wanna show you I can be helpful and not selfish,” Carlos insisted. “Please? I know it is technically your money I will be spending b-but… but… please.”

Ryker sighed. He glanced over at Adam, who Carlos couldn’t see with all his attention focused on the man on the other side of him. Eventually, however, he gave in and nodded. The vampire’s shoulders slumped out of relief as soon as he saw the gesture.

“You’re not being selfish, but if it’ll make you feel better, you can pick out one thing each for us. Deal?”

He nodded enthusiastically. “Yes sir. Thank you!” The name indeed got a few weird looks from onlookers, but the two humans on either side of him paid no attention to them whatsoever, so Carlos didn’t either. Instead, he stepped closer to Adam and squeezed his hand tighter; keeping his head low to avoid having to make eye contact with anyone other than the people he was here with. He mentally scolded himself for his awkwardness as he walked.

The first place they went to was Target. Both men were so excited to show him all their favourite clothing, so he didn’t dare mention that he was already beginning to feel overwhelmed by all the bright lights and the options. Not that he would have even if they weren’t. He would have liked to think that he knew better than that, although recent events made him wonder if he knew himself at all anymore.

“Here we are,” Adam finally announced. He paused and motioned to what must have been the hundreds of clothes hanging on hooks and folded upon tables, a smile curved on his face. “What do you think?”

Overwhelmed. “Seems like, uhm… a lot of clothes…” he whispered, stepping closer to the man’s taller frame as if it could protect him. “They look too fancy for me.”

“Not at all,” Adam assured him. “Target clothing is a good place to start. Do you see anything you like? Hoodies? Shirts? Sweaters? You can pick literally anything you want. There’s no wrong choice.”

That did not sound right. “A-are you sure?” he asked softly. “You’re not gonna try ‘n’ trick me? Make me pick the wrong thing so you can punish me when the trip is done? Y-you can punish me anyway. I don’t need the extra steps. My m-masters taught me well!”

Both Ryker and Adam disapproved of his words. He could see it in their eyes, and it only scared him more. The man holding his hand reached forward to touch his shoulder, but the vampire immediately stumbled backwards to get away from him; his back hitting Ryker’s chest with a soft thud.

A small shiver ran down his spine.

“N-no, no, no…”

“Hey,” Ryker spoke tentatively. “No one’s trying to trick you, man. I promise. We just want you to be comfortable in clothes that you like.”

“You’re lying,” the vampire tearily insisted. Why couldn’t they just be honest? Why were they beating around the bush like this? It terrified him. He hated surprise punishments more than he hated the ones that were announced. “I’m s-sorry. I’m sorry for being entitled, but please. I wanna know when it’s coming.”

Don’t be a fucking brat, they voice in his head hissed. Carlos whimpered as soon as he heard it; it was so loud – even more so than usual. Get on your knees and beg if that’s how you want to be.

So he did.

-

Everything had been going so well.

Ryker’s heart broke the moment he saw the man practically throw himself onto his knees, and he was quick to follow; both his hands resting on the vampire’s bony shoulders in an attempt to divert his attention back to him. He was suddenly grateful that they were some of the only people down that end of the store.

“P-please be quiet…” he mumbled repeatedly to himself. He seemed completely oblivious to the fact that Ryker was right there in front of him, and instead took to shakily pulling at his hair; sharp nails scratching at his scalp in the process. I guess it isn’t just malnourishment that’s causing his hair loss. “Please… I’m trying… wanna be good…”

“You are being good,” Ryker whispered, positioning his hands so they were on either side of the vampire’s face. It didn’t quiet him all that much, but it did cause him to look up for a moment. “Hi. It’s okay. You’re not in trouble. Could you tell me what’s going on in your head right now?”

“’m sorry,” Carlos wept. Slowly, he ungripped his hair and reached out towards the human in front of him; trembling, outstretched fingers aiming for his shirt. He bunched it up in his hands and shuffled forward a little, eyes screwed shut. “Hurts. Too loud. Too bright. Too… too much! P-please make it stop, sir. Please. I’ll b-be good!”

Ryker was unsure of what to do at this point. He had no idea what would make it worse and what would make it better, and he sure as hell wasn’t about to get a coherent response from Carlos himself. So in the end, he stood up and gingerly brought the small vampire into his arms; letting him wrap his legs around his waist to be more secure.

“I got you,” he murmured, feeling him pressing his face into his neck with a string of tiny, strained whimpers. “It’s okay.”

It was obvious now that this was going to be a lot harder than either of them had anticipated. As he waited for him to calm down, Ryker thought back to his childhood – how Carlos was treated even within his presence as a child. Even then, he’d known it wasn’t good. He remembered Carlos waking up with an aching back because of where he slept. He remembered the smile Carlos often faked; the one that never reached his eyes or lit up his face like they were supposed to. He remembered him regularly begging his parents to feed, back at the beginning when they’d first gotten him, and the beatings he received for being “entitled”. It all made so much sense now.

After some time, Ryker decided to take Carlos out to the car while Adam continued shopping. They figured he would need entertainment and clothes at some point, particularly as they both went back to work in two days. He had his colouring book and pencils, and while he was sure Carlos would be okay with whatever was given to him, he wanted him to feel like he was being cared for.

As soon as they were finally back at the car, he gently put the vampire down on the ground and watched as he shoved the sleeve of Adam’s hoodie into his mouth to anxiously chew on. Whatever helps, I guess. He knew that Adam wouldn’t mind.

Eventually, the guy quietly spoke up again; his voice slightly muffled and strained against the fabric of the sleeve. “I would understand if you, uhm… if you w-wanted to punish me now.”

“No.” Ryker was firm on that statement. “We made the mistake of pushing you too far so quickly – that was entirely our fault. Not yours.”

“I embarrassed you.”

The human frowned. “Not at all. Not like you can help it. Besides, Adam and I have had our fair share of anxiety over the years.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Carlos whispered. “I hate feeling things. I hate it. I want to go back to being numb all the time.”

Ryker sighed and leaned back against the car door; clasping his hands together in front of him as he tried to think of the right thing to say. Carlos seemed to purposely mirror his stance, except he kept the sleeve in his mouth.

“It’ll get easier. Experiencing fear, sadness, depression and anxiety and all those negative things is fuckin’ horrible – especially when you haven’t gotten to feel them in years -, but you also get to experience excitement and joy and all those positive things alongside it. It’s all about balance. You just don’t have that right now.”

“When… when will I get it then?”

“I don’t know,” the human admitted. “You’ve only been with us for less than twenty four hours, bud. Sometimes… well, sometimes it takes years.”

He could practically see the little bit of hope leaving Carlos’ eyes as soon as he said it. The vampire’s body slumped again and he hung his head low, tears welling in his eyes all over again. Ryker thought it was the saddest sight he’d seen in a while.

“That’s such a long time,” he eventually whimpered. “In the car, on the, the way to your home, you said I no longer belong to any-anyone, right?”

“Yep.”

“So, what is my purpose in life, if not to please my masters?”

“No one really knows what their purpose in life is,” Ryker shrugged. He stubbornly tried to ignore the anger bubbling inside him at whoever had convinced him that his purpose was to please others. “I like to believe that we don’t have a purpose. We get to just… make it up as we go along, I guess. Though yours was and will never be to please other people. I can promise you that with one hundred percent certainty.”

It seemed his words did little in the way of comfort. He mentally cursed himself when the vampire shakily slid down the side of the car and onto the ground with a whimper.

“S-so my life was a lie?” His voice cracked as he said it, and he huddled further into himself for security; seemingly trying to make himself as small as possible. “’m s-sorry.”

Ryker frowned, resting one of his hands on Carlos’ shoulder as he knelt down beside him. The vampire flinched at the touch, but made no effort to pull away from him.

“What for?”

“I know I’m not supposed to care. I know I’m supposed to be good and not question the things you say b-but I’m so scared.” He let out another strained whimper. “F-feels like everything I’ve known since I was a child was a lie. How ‘m I supposed to come back from that? I’m ninety!” he suddenly cried. “I can’t do it! I can’t- I don’t know how to live. I’ve never “made it up as I go along”. E-everything was planned out for me from the start and I had no choice in it. Everything was simple and consistent. Nothing changed. I w-wanna go back to that!”

That wasn’t the first time Ryker had heard that from someone. Adam was the exact same. Still was some days, if he was being completely honest. It was never easy watching someone having to revaluate their entire life up until this moment. He thought it must be hell being the person themself.

The human slid an arm across Carlos’ bony shoulders, watching his face the entire time for any sign of discomfort. When he was sure that it was fine, he brought him against his side and gently rubbed the arm furthest away from him with the palm of his hand. He truly couldn’t think of what else to do. He’d never really been in a position like this before. He didn’t know how to help.

“For what it’s worth; you’re doing a great job. I know this is a hard and scary adjustment, but I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to talk to me about what’s bothering you.”

“You are?”

Ryker nodded and smiled when the vampire tentatively lifted his head to look up at him. “I sure am.”

“You really mean it, then? When you say you’re not gonna hurt me?”

“Yes.” He truly couldn’t emphasise it enough. His arm tightened around Carlos’ shoulders and he pulled him in slightly closer; something the vampire seemed to appreciate. He let out a small noise and allowed himself to shuffle further towards him. “We’re here to protect you, not hurt you. Tonight was an honest mistake on our part. We should have been more careful.”

“W-well, I’d like to say I can take care of myself, but…” Ryker grinned as soon as he saw the blush beginning to litter the vampire’s cheeks. “Clearly that would be a lie.”

“You’ll get there eventually. No need to fret about it.”

Carlos gave a small nod; eyes still filled with fresh tears. “I guess so.”

-

Carlos was absolutely exhausted by the time they got home. Ryker remembered him being a relatively light sleeper when he was younger, but even as they pulled up in the driveway and grabbed all the bags out from either side of him, he didn’t stir once. Both men were impressed.

“I got ‘im,” Ryker whispered, already leaning into the backseat to unbuckle the vampire’s seatbelt for him. “If you could unlock the door for me, that’d be great.”

Adam left to do just that. With a small, dramatic groan, Ryker bundled him up into his arms and pulled him out of the car; shielding his face from the porch light as he headed inside. It saddened him, just how light the poor guy was. It was so obvious that he hadn’t had a proper feed in years. He couldn’t quite fathom what it was like to go so long without food. It wasn’t like he could even substitute it with water, the same way humans can. The thought was enough to send a shiver down his spine.

Never again, he promised himself.

While Adam got their food ready, Ryker took Carlos to bed and wrapped him up in all his blankets. The vampire only stirred for a moment when Murphy excitedly barged into the room, but once the dog settled down by his side, he fell right back asleep; one arm outstretched while the other hugged himself tight. He looked so relaxed and peaceful in his sleep – nothing like the anxious mess he was when he was awake. Ryker couldn’t wait for the time where the guy could relax throughout the day, however long that may take.

He was more than willing to wait.

-

Taglist: @whumpsday @whump-blog @emcscared-whumps @pigeonwhumps @sacredwrath @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight

#whump #whump stuff #whump things #whump thoughts #whump writing #whumpee #caretaker #whumpee x caretaker #caretaker x whumpee #multiple caretakers #vampire whump #vampire whumpee

[makeadealwithdean]

dear, though the night is gone - part 1

Summary: After rescuing Cas from the Empty, Dean doesn't quite know how to act, and that upsets Cas, but what is he supposed to do? And Sam, Sam is getting real sick and tired of watching these idiots pine after each other.

Rating: M

Tags/Warnings: Fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, mutual pining, they’re both idiots, Dean’s hella repressed (of course), Cas is patient, Sam knows and is being a typical annoying sibling about it, Post 15x19 fix-it fic, Canon divergent, tw: vomiting (one instance, not super graphic), Canon-typical violence, Dean is anxious and overthinks everything, Cas exhibits slight symptoms of PTSD concerning the Empty, they’re so soft when it comes to each other :')

Chapter Word Count: 3.6k

Ao3 || Masterlist

There was a blinding light and a noise that sounded like the center of a wind tunnel. The center of gravity flipped, and Dean’s stomach entered his throat before slamming back to his gut just as quickly as it’d left. His eyes were screwed shut tight, jaw clenched, teeth pressed tightly together, and he tried to focus on something — anything — to ground himself.

And then…everything was still. Dean gasped and opened his eyes, taking in his surroundings. Thank God— well, not God— thank Jack, maybe — his left arm was still slung over the shoulders of his previously-dead angel. Dean’s fingers gripped his shoulder, probably wrinkling the fabric of the trenchcoat. His other hand pressed into the angel’s heaving chest. Both pairs of knees dug into the hard floor underneath them. The library of the bunker sat in stunned silence for a beat, save for the sound of Dean’s heavy breathing. 

Then, Sam was scrambling, saying both his and Cas’s name, kneeling in front of them, reaching. He struggled, moving to force the exhausted and glassy eyes in front of him to meet his frantic and worried ones. His hands grasped at Dean’s jacket, the sleeve of Cas’s coat, and he kept repeating, “Dean? You okay? You good? Dean!” Dean couldn’t find his voice for a minute — too busy making sure the floor underneath him and Cas was real, that Sam was real, not just a trick of the Empty.

“I’m good, Sam. I’m good,” he managed to choke out, patting Sam on the shoulder, before turning back to Cas. “Cas? Buddy? You okay, man? You’re safe now — you’re good. We’re home —” Dean patted the angel’s chest with his open palm, half reassuring Cas, and half reassuring himself that Cas was really here with him. Cas was still mostly slumped against Dean, not doing much to support his own body weight. His eyelids were fluttering, and he honestly didn’t look too good.

“Cas? Cas! C’mon, man. Lemme see those baby blues, buddy. You’re okay, c’mon, look, look —” Dean shifted the arm slung over Cas’s shoulders to his mid-back and hoisted him up a bit. He tapped firmly (lightly slapped, whatever) on Cas’s cheek until the familiar blue eyes looked back at him.

“Dean,” Cas croaked out, his voice even more gravely than normal, and Dean breathed a sigh of relief. He could just tell, the being in his arms was the Castiel he knew, and phew, that was a huge weight off his back. He started to get to his feet, hauling Cas up with him, and Sam grabbed Cas’s other arm, wrapping it around his own shoulders. The three of them stumbled through the library to the hallway, Dean leading the way. Cas was coughing, and yeah, Dean admitted to himself, that was slightly concerning. They should probably let Cas lay down somewhere.

“Here,” Dean said, half-walking, half-dragging the barely-able-to-stand angel and his brother into the room on his left, his own. With Sam supporting Cas’s weight, Dean let go of the trenchcoat for the first time since finding Cas in the Empty. He flipped the lamp on and lunged at his bed, one foot still on the floor, one knee pressed into the mattress. 

Dean collected all his shit that was sprawled over the surface of the bed, most of it notes and lore books, anything the Men of Letters had on the Empty really, and dumped it onto his desk. He’d left it there the moment they’d been ready to try for Cas’s jailbreak, cause who has time to make things neat and tidy when the one he lov– cares for is stuck in some celestial plane of nothingness?

“Okay, here, Sam. C’mon,” Dean said, gesturing for Sam to step towards the bed with Cas. He met them halfway, Cas still stumbling and coughing and generally looking miserable. Dean turned them around and helped Cas perch on the end of his bed. He was about to help him pull his coat off and lie back when suddenly the angel straightened. 

Looking around frantically, Cas gagged and spluttered, and Dean snatched the waste basket next to his desk and held it up. Just in time, too. Cas retched mostly into the bin, and Dean really hoped it was just his body adjusting to being on a different plane of existence, maybe an after-effect of coming back to life or something. He rubbed Cas’s back as he coughed and groaned, looking at Dean pitifully when he was done. 

Damn, he really wasn’t looking good. Dean set the waste basket next to his bed and helped Cas to sit on the edge — dude looked like he was gonna collapse any second.

“Okay. Shit, okay, c’mere. Lemme have your coat, Cas,” Dean fussed around him like a mother hen. Sam hung back, clearly wanting to help, but hesitant to get in Dean’s way. Dean snapped his fingers, gesturing first at Sam and then pointing at Cas’s shoes, himself struggling to separate the trench coat from the angel’s limp arms. Sam’s eyes followed his motion, and he crouched down to help unlace and wiggle Cas’s shoes from his feet.

When they’d both succeeded, Dean in wrestling Cas’s coat off and Sam in freeing Cas’s feet from the stiff black dress shoes, Dean loosened the knot of the blue tie around Cas’s neck, slipped the suit jacket off, and undid the first few buttons of his white button-up. Cas lifted his chin so Dean’s fingers could better reach and looked up at him with an expression of pure exhaustion. Dean’s heart ached to see all the fight drained out of him like that, but he tried to tell himself it was okay. It was good — Cas was only allowing himself to let his guard down because he knew he was safe with them in the bunker. 

“Okay, bud– Cas, do you want this off?” Dean lifted the edges of the white shirt just under the collar a couple times, giving Cas an opportunity to tell him no, but Cas just grunted and shrugged like he was either trying to shake the shirt off himself, or he simply didn’t care one way or the other. Dean took that as the go-ahead and finished unbuttoning the shirt.

“M’just gonna check you over for injuries or anything like that. Wanna make sure there’s nothing left of that place on you, okay?” he said to him in a lower tone. “That’s okay?” Dean was acutely aware of Sam’s presence behind him. Plus, he didn’t want to push Cas too much at once, but at the same time, he knew he wouldn’t be satisfied until he saw with his own eyes that his… friend was physically okay. 

And he thought Cas knew that too, ‘cause he gave a murmur of assent and a barely there nod, so Dean took the white undershirt off over his head. His knees creaked as he moved from squatting in between Cas’s knees, to standing, hovering over him so he could reach to remove the fabric,  and then back down. Dean wasn’t sure if it was all in his mind or not, but when he chucked the discarded shirt towards the doorway to be taken to the laundry room, he almost thought it seemed darker than normal. Ashier maybe, Dean thought, like remnants of that place had stained the very fibers of the usually stark white fabric. He shuddered to even think of it.

Turning his attention back to Cas, his eyes immediately wandered to travel the vast expanse of tanned skin that was the angel’s torso. Dean mentally chided himself, C’mon, Dean. Not the time, dude. He wasn’t willing to admit to himself yet that he wanted Cas, despite what went down in the Empty, and even if he had been willing, now really wasn’t the time. 

He dragged his fingertips over Cas’s shoulders. Relax, he was just checking for medical purposes — like injuries, or remnants of the Empty, or anything else worrisome. His hands cupped Cas’s face, his chin drooped into Dean’s palm as he scanned the tired blue eyes for any haziness other than exhaustion, any signs of something seriously wrong. His hands took over, and he continued his check on Cas just like he would anyone else after a hunt, but when his hands landed gently on Cas’s upper back, the angel rolled his shoulders back, wincing as though Dean had slammed a heavy weight onto him. 

Hmm, Dean thought. Cas’s slouched form suddenly made a lot of sense. Of course, Dean had just assumed it was exhaustion causing it, and surely, that was part of it, but if Cas’s…  shoulder blades (?) were bothering him, that would explain it, too. Cas didn’t normally get sore muscles, but in the Empty, Dean supposed, anything could’ve happened. 

“Shoulders bothering you?” he questioned. Cas’s voice rumbled from deep in his chest as he shrugged, still wincing, “Sort of.” 

“Well, would a hot shower help? M’kinda thinking it’ll help you mentally, too. Getcha’ feeling fresh, right?” Dean was thankful Cas was even acknowledging his words, much less speaking, especially having just puked his guts out. He was shocked the angel hadn’t conked out yet, but he knew Cas needed that, too. Probably. Even though he didn’t normally sleep at all, it just seemed like this was a special circumstance. “We’ve got that sore muscle cream or whatever in the first aid kit, too. Right, Sam?”

“Yeah, I’ll grab it,” Sam nodded at his side before Dean could even get another word out. “Be right back.” He ducked out of the bedroom, almost with an air of relief, which Dean simply chose not to pick up on. The only thing he could think to be relieved about now was that Cas was back. 

And he was safe. At least, as far as Dean knew. His mind suggested helpful thoughts like But what if he isn’t safe? and What if the Empty comes back? But he was determined to ignore those, despite every bone in his body telling him that as hard as it had been to get the angel back, it was still too easy. Damn Chuck. Damn Empty. Damn anything and everything that had ever fucked him or his loved ones, his family, over. He wouldn’t let anything like that happen again – he wouldn’t.

“A’right, Cas,” Dean said, kneeling to untie and yank his own boots off one by one. “I’m gonna rub your shoulders out for ya’, and then you can shower, or sleep, or whatever you think’ll help, okay?” He looked up at Cas, who was still sitting slumped on the edge of the bed, to make sure that was good with him. 

Cas met his eyes and nodded sluggishly, “Okay, Dean.”

With the verbal affirmation, Dean stood and crawled onto the bed, knee-walking until he was knelt right behind his friend. His naked-from-the-waist-up friend. Dean chased that thought away, no matter how intriguing it might’ve been, and settled, sitting back on his heels. His calloused hands rested soft on Cas’s shoulders. 

“Okay,” Dean breathed out, totally not obviously at all. “Let me know if anything hurts or if you want me to stop or somethin’.” Cas hummed in acknowledgment of his request, and Dean pressed the pads of his fingers and thumbs into the angel’s muscled skin. He kneaded and pulled and pressed. And Cas let out small closed-mouth breaths, like sighs of relief. 

Dean’s breath hitched with every noise Cas made, and every time his fingers dragged over a particularly tough knot, Cas groaned. Little, tiny groans, like Dean was pressing a button that forced the grunts from deep within his chest. Sitting up on his knees for better leverage, Dean knew the type of noise well. He heard it from himself every time he pushed his fingers into his own tightened muscles. But it was different — drawing the sound from someone else — Cas of all people.

Cas, who threw his head back at a particularly hard squeeze just to rest it on Dean’s sternum. His eyes were closed, or he’d be staring at the junction of the wall and the ceiling, but he looked more at ease than he had since he’d been back. His muscles were definitely more relaxed, not as tight and hunched as they’d been, Dean noticed.

He heard footsteps down the hall, and Dean just knew Sam was practically stomping on purpose, to let them know he was coming, or whatever. Dean rolled his eyes. Really, what did Sam think he was going to walk into? The exaggerated stomp of the boots simply wasn’t necessary. Still, Cas lifted his head off Dean listlessly. Not like he was concerned with Sam seeing them in that position, but more like he wanted to see who was interrupting his first moment of serenity post-Empty. 

Sam appeared in the doorway and coughed as he walked through. Dean looked at him like, Yes? Sam cleared his throat and placed the white plastic box in Dean’s outstretched hand. “Thank you, Sam,” Dean said pointedly. 

Sam huffed, “Right… Well, looks like you’ve got this covered, so I’ll leave you to it then. Gonna go clean up in the library. Y’know, spell stuff…”

Dean rolled his eyes at Sam’s awkward shuffling. Always so damn dramatic, he thought. Picking up “moments” that aren’t even there. “Cool,” he said anyway, “I’ll come find you when we’re done here.”

Sam nodded and left. Dean opened the plastic box with a pop! and set it open on the bed beside him. He rifled through the various gauzes and bandages and creams until he found the one he was looking for. Screwing off the cap, he kinda doubted this would help with Cas being a celestial being and all, but with his vessel being very much human, it was worth a shot. Plus, this gave him an actual excuse to massage Cas’s shoulders and back some more, and hell if he wasn’t  gonna take that opportunity.

Dean squeezed the cream into his palm, “Might be cold, sorry.” Cas didn’t react as Dean’s hands rubbed the ointment into his muscles, and Dean wondered if the angel had ever felt the odd sensation of IcyHot before. Probably not, he decided. He continued to press his thumbs in circular motions, his own skin tingling from the contact with the balm. 

When he was done, he reluctantly let his hands fall away from Cas’s skin and sat back on his heels. “Alright, buddy, m’thinking that’s the best I can do for you, but let me know if it helps or not.” 

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas murmured, rubbing his hand across his face. “As strange as it may be for me, I do think I’d like to sleep now, if you’d help me to my room?” 

Those were the most words Cas had spoken yet, a good sign. Maybe it really was just Cas adjusting to this plane of existence. Dean’s mind couldn’t help but worry, but at least this eased his troubled thoughts slightly. 

Still, Dean’s mouth spoke for him, before he even had time to think about what he was saying or the implications that came along with it. “Stay here.” Dean stopped, surprised the words had been said aloud. “Um, I just mean, there’s no point in moving you again, and I’m not sleeping right now anyway… so just stay here. My room’s closer to the library, anyway, so I’ll be able to hear you if you need me— er, something. If you need something.”

Cas looked at him a bit oddly, but he seemed too tired to argue. He nodded and started to move as if to climb under the covers. “Here,” Dean stopped him. He turned and dug through one of the drawers of his dresser, coming up with a plain, gray t-shirt and  some worn, flannel pajama pants. “Wear these,” Dean set his clothes on the bed beside Cas. “Trust me, it’ll be way more comfortable than…” Dean gestured at the suit pants that Cas wore — the only thing Cas wore — and then, he turned, headed towards the door.

“Oh, one more thing,” Dean walked to his desk, using his body to shield it from Cas’s view. He opened the top drawer where he knew Cas’s phone was — where it’d been since Dean had found it after Cas had been taken. He hoped Cas wouldn’t question why it was in Dean’s desk, rather than the table in the library or something, but he ached to return it to him. His chest ached, a good ache now, at the fact he was even able to return the cell to its owner. 

So he did. Placing it on top of the clothes he’d given Cas, he backed away, turning to rest his hand on the doorframe. He looked back, knew he was lingering longer than necessary, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. Cas needs to sleep, he reminded himself. 

“Just yell for me, if you need something, Cas. Or call me. Or Sam. We’re real glad to have you back, buddy.” Dean's heart pounded in his head. I’m glad to have you back. I needed you back. “Sleep tight.”

As soon as Cas nodded, Dean practically tore himself from the room, forcing his arm to shut the door. He closed it carefully, gently, almost without a sound, but to him the action felt violent. Like he was willingly allowing another door to come between himself and Cas. 

And even though this was just the damn door to his own bedroom, it gave Dean this unsettled, panicky feeling to even walk down the hall. The farther his legs carried him away from his friend, the more he longed to go back and inform Cas that he’d be sitting at his desk while the angel rested, just in case he woke up and needed anything. Jeez, he was turning into Cas himself with all that “I’ll-watch-over-you” shit. Dean rolled his eyes at himself and continued towards the library. 

He figured he’d better check on Sam. Not cause he thought Sam couldn’t handle a little spell clean-up, but more to distract himself — though he wasn’t about to admit that was the reason, not even in his own head. He should check on Sam in case the Empty decided to bust through the wall again, yeah. God, was that a terrible thought. He didn’t know what they’d do if that were to happen. 

One thing he did know though — no one, nothing, was taking Cas from him ever again.

“Dean,” Sam greeted him as Dean climbed the steps to the library, effectively jolting him out of his thoughts. “I’m almost done here. Can’t believe that fucking worked. Happy as hell though. How’re you feeling?”

“Good,” Dean hoped Sam wouldn’t question him any further. “Hell, I’m fuckin’ great, even. We got Cas back — how could I be anything less than that?” 

Sam gave him a soft smile, “That’s good to hear. How’s Cas doing? Feeling?”

Dean shrugged, “A little sore. I don’t know what from exactly. Thought maybe the Empty had some kind of effect on his wings or something. But I put the IcyHot stuff on him anyway, maybe it’ll help him. Could be more human now, since we were able to bust him out, who knows?”

Sam nodded, processing Dean’s theory, “I mean, I guess that’s possible — that somehow he’s less angel than before. Could be why we were able to break the Empty’s hold on him… Or it could’ve just been Jack’s divine intervention. Guess we’ll find out. Give him a little time to adjust, y’know?” 

Dean rubbed his palm across his face, “Yup. We’ll just keep an eye on him for a while. It’s Cas — he’s strong. He’s done the coming-back thing before. Think he’ll be alright. Anyway, I’m gonna go sit back, relax. Maybe watch a movie while he’s resting, if you wanna join.” 

With that invitation, Dean really hoped Sam would take the conversation as over. Please don’t ask me anything else. Please don’t ask me what happened there. 

“Dean, wait—” Shit. Here it comes. “What happened in the Empty? Like when you first got there, I mean…”

Great. Awesome. Dean really didn’t like the idea of going into detail about what went down in the Empty, especially out loud. He could hardly force his mind to recall what’d happened only about a mere hour ago. And at the same time, somehow, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. It’s like the thought was stuck in the periphery of his brain. Always sort of visible, but never able to be looked at directly. And every time Dean forced himself to try, the memory had retreated back into the shadows. 

“Uhh, you know, not much,” Dean forced, very convincingly. “Fuckin’ portal just spit me out right next to Cas, I grabbed him, and we jumped back through. Not much to tell really, huh?” He rubbed the back of his neck as he explained, silently begging Sam to accept the slight bending-of-the-truth. 

“But —” Sam’s brow furrowed. He obviously wasn’t satisfied with Dean’s half-hearted recount of the rescue. Dean simply didn’t have the energy to fight him on it. 

“Look, Sam,” he cut him off quickly. “It’s not a fun place, but it’s fine. I’m safe, Cas’s safe, and we’re back. That’s what matters, ‘kay? Now, I’m exhausted, so I’m gonna go kick back — you should too.” 

He turned away before Sam could protest any further, telling himself he’d deal with his brother’s inevitable questions about his little outburst later. Leaving Sam, for once, quiet behind him, he made a beeline for the DeanCave. 

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[jasmines-library]

Not All Is Lost - Chapter Two

GN!Reader (No Y/N currently used)

Summary: After arriving on Bogano, you and Cal make your way to The Vault. Along the way you make a small friend and unlock the secrets of the Jedi.

Warnings: Canon typical violence, Slight PTSD, mentions of Greez's cooking.

Word count: 3.1K

Previous • Story Masterlist

The ground was uneven beneath your feet as you made your way towards the temple.  The climate on Bogano was temperate and the light breeze sent your hair flowing in many different directions. The air was damp and there was an almost constant rustling coming from the wildlife that seemed ever intriguing. Cal led the way, he seemed eager to reach the vault. His ease and agility told you that he was familiar with terrain like this. It didn’t surprise you though, the terrain on Bracca was far from safe. It confused you when he came to a stop after rounding a corner. You raised your eyebrows and he explained, asking if it was okay for him to meditate.You shook your head and agreed it would be a good idea. Cal took up his position on the floor as you opted to lean against a rock. Closing your eyes you began to centre yourself in the force, only to have it obstructed when you began to sense Cal’s distress. You understood even more now what he meant about losing control. Snapping your eyes open, you kneeled next to him and took hold of his shoulders to bring him out of his meditation. When Cal opened his eyes, his focus seemed to not be on you, rather a curious red and white droid. It beeped, intrigued. 

“Hey, BD-1,” You said as you examined the droid’s number. He was a small droid with long legs and a rectangular head and body. His paint job was roughened up like it had been gone over with a large piece of sandpaper from constant adventure. The droid beeped again, nudging the redhead who was kneeling in front of you.

“Yeah, I’m okay. We’re just..We’re looking for someone,”

He beeped again and you chuckled slightly, “No, not you,” Cal told him, “We’re searching for a Jedi, I think,”

The little droid jumped up and down excitedly before he scurried away, Ignoring your hollering about the Jedi, too excited to listen before slicing into a control panel. Metal flooring appeared, closing the gap between the two grassy cliffs. It was clear that he knew his way around the planet and it made you wonder how long he had been here. Perhaps, you thought he was here with the Jedi.  You both followed the small droid, scaling walls and jumping over obstacles. The ground was divided up into essentially elevated platforms that intertwined with each other. There seemed to be something hidden in every corner. Bogano had a lot to offer which made you wonder why no one else had found it yet. It was obvious that It had once been inhabited, for a while at least, the large vault in front of you and the ancient carvings in the rocks told you that much, but where had everyone gone and why hadn’t the empire found it yet?. With all of the power they had, surely it would be easy to find a place like this. It was clear someone had gone through great measures to hide Bogano and it caused a great pit to settle at the bottom of your stomach. The mystery dawned on your mind as you continued to trek. Soon you came across a clearer view of the vault. Cal pursed his lips.

“That's the Vault Cere told us about,” He said to you and the small droid who was hopping excitedly around your feet, “Whoever we’re supposed to find must be in there,”

BD-1, now perched on top of a rock, projected a holomap into the ground below you, revealing that he had been tracking your footsteps.

“You made a map, Little Buddy?” You asked. He once again  beeped excitedly before highlighting the vault, Clearly hoping to help visualise the route the pair of you had to take. You began to follow his map, coming to a dead end when it led you to a large gorge. It was too far to jump, even if you used the force to help you, which would have been pointless, given your current connection with it. 

“Any ideas?”

The little droid chirped and alerted you to the wire suspended over the gap. Cal grabbed onto BD’s legs as he slid across. Once he was safely on the other side, BD balanced on the top of the wire to bring you across too. You followed the pair into a small, derelict hangar. As you drew nearer you began to sense the presence of another being.

“Cal, be careful in there I-” you were cut off by BD’s shrill scream as he was thrown off of a Bog Rat. 

“Hold on BD-1!” 

You swung down into the room after Cal,  pulling your saber into your hands. Before you had the chance to ignite it, he had already sliced through the creatures. Cal was quick. Maybe even too quick.

“BD?” You called out to the droid as Cal studied the room. No, studied wasn’t the right word. He analysed the room. Looking for anything that could potentially be dangerous, noting the best route in case you needed to get out quickly.

It was faint, but you heard it. A small, pained beep from behind the fan in the centre of the room. You placed your saber back in its place on your belt and raised your hand to slow the fan with the force. BD let out a slow sound as you made your way to him. One of his legs had been damaged, the metal bent at an awkward angle. 

You knelt down in front of him “That was pretty brave, huh? You okay?”

He beeped sadly as he began to limp away. Cal was there to stop him, once again quick with his reflexes.

“Wait– I can help you with that, will you let me?”

He jumped straight into Cal’s arms. Bemused and somewhat charmed by the droid, Cal carried him over to the workbench at the back of the room and began working on his leg. 

“The scomp link is busted,” He said as he picked up one of the various tools on the bench, “but this should help you get moving for now,” Sparks flew as the metal was soldered and bent back into place, Cal worked quickly and efficiently. 

“D’you learn that on Bracca?” You asked inquisitively.

Cal hummed, “I worked as a scrapper after the purge. It was a dangerous job but it had its perks,” he finished working on BD’s leg, “Okay. Try that.”

He chirped excitedly and Cal smiled. It was the first time you’d seen him smile since before the war. With BD’s help you made your way out of the abode. You’d also discovered he carried healing stims with him after Cal sliced through a live wire with his saber. Very useful. Through his various tones you had also discovered that he didn’t remember how he ended up on Bogano. It was odd, you thought. You’d never known a forgetful droid. As you came across a long passage, which should have been impassable, you noticed that the walls were ridged. As you paused, the voice of your former master rang clear through your mind. 

‘With persistence and the force as your ally, no path is impossible,’

You closed your eyes and took a running leap at the wall of the cave. Cal called out your name as your feet landed solidly against the wall. Using the force to guide you, you hopped between the walls. Cal and BD, who was now perched on comfortably on his shoulder, followed close behind. For the first time in a while you felt slightly more connected to the force. Your lips turned upwards. 

“How’d you know that would work?”

You shrugged. “Just remembering old tricks,”

The three of you pressed on, with the force helping you traverse the walls, the path seemingly became much easier. Soon you were at the foot of the vault. Like its exterior, the door was ageless, overgrown and covered in deep shades of mossy green.

“So this is it, huh?” Cal said, bubbling with excitement.

You hummed in response, hesitantly reaching out to unlock the door. You paused as your fingers brushed the cold surface and turned to Cal.

“Go ahead,”

You closed your eyes and centred yourself as you traced over the carvings on the door. You took a breath and projected the force into the door. Nothing. You frowned but then you remembered Cere’s words. ‘It requires two people who are strong in the force to pass its tests’

“We have to do it together,” you said. Cal stepped forward, placing his hand next to yours. You both repeated your earlier actions. It slid open revealing a dark hallway. Without a second thought, you squeezed yourself through the gap and descended downwards. On the other side of the hallway, you were greeted with a massive room. A trickle of water ran across the floor. Around the room were massive, circular arches, each seemingly doors with reminiscent designs to the ones on the entrance doorway. BD scampered off of your partner’s shoulder and, as if he suddenly remembered something, froze and looked up. 

“You alright BD?”

The droid didn’t give his usual response. Instead he sent out a hologram of an elderly man, dressed in the distinct robes of a Jedi. 

“Cere’s Jedi,” you muttered as the hologram began to speak.

“Well done, whoever you are. You have passed the test I have left behind. You have worked together to gain access to the vault and this recording; one of the many encrypted logs stored in this droid. I am Master Endo Cordova. I may not know your names, but I know your purposes. The fate of the Jedi Order lies in your hands. This… place, this…vault is a sacred temple. Built by a vanished civilisation known as the Zeffo,”

Cere had told you stories about the Zeffo. Something told you that she was much closer to Cordova than she had admitted to you. 

“Meditating here, I was granted a premonition through the force,” the hologram continued, “A vision of doom. I have placed inside this vault a Jedi holocron, containing a list of the names and locations of young Force-sensitives throughout the galaxy,”

So that was that odd feeling. A holocron. One that would not only change your fate, but the entire galaxy. 

“Ahead of you you will find the inner chamber of the vault, but also another test. I can only trust this holocron to people who have followed my path and understand. Seek out the hidden tombs of the Three Sages and learn to perceive the mysteries of the force as the Zeffo once did. In this droid you will find everything you need to succeed on this journey. Go to the Zeffo homeworld. There you will both find peace in the eye of the storm. Good luck, Jedi. And may the Force be with you.”

The hologram shut off and you looked down fresh-eyed at BD-1.

“I guess you were the someone we were supposed to meet,”

This time BD beeps in agreement.

“You know, I've been alone for a while now…” Cal started. You could feel the pain in his voice, “Without any purpose... Just hiding. It’s no way to live. Not for a Jedi..for a droid… Maybe Cere was right. Maybe we’re done hiding,”

You blinked away the tears that were forming in your eyes. It hurt to hear that. It hurt because you knew exactly how he felt. You knew the fear…the guilt that swallows you from the inside out…the pain…

“We’re not alone, Cal.” You whisper, taking his hand in yours, “Not anymore,”

***

Cal pulled out his comlink and called Cere when you were back outside of the vault. He told her you had found what she wanted them to find and she agreed. As you slid down the hill that led to the vault, a huge, frog-like monster emerged from the swampy puddle at the end of it. The Oggdo Bogdo – one of Bogano’s apex predators. 

“Kriff!” you yelled, grabbing your saber. It lashed out at the pair of you, but after a short struggle, you stuck it down with your saber. You were slowly becoming more confident, more powerful and more in control with your connection to the force. You could sense that Cal felt the same way, however it was clear he had further to go than you. While you had the option of practising small tricks on The Mantis, he had no choice but to keep his connection concealed. Scratched up, BD offered you both a stim, which you gladly accepted before making your way back to the ship where your friends were eagerly waiting for your return. You weren’t far from the ship when BD-1’s attention shifted to a mural on a cliff wall. You both watched curiously as he projected a second message from Cordova.

“My friends, it appears the Zeffo had some interest in.. Dathomir. It’s strange, for such a peaceful culture to have a fascination with a place so…dark.

The hologram shut off and the three of you continued on, now slightly shaken. Cal had never been to Dathomir, but he had heard many stories of the people who lived there. The Nightsisters, who were all powerful magic wielders, and the Nightbrothers, two of whom many masters had cut down. He wondered if you had ever been there, if not as a padawan, then with Cere and Greez. How long had you been with them? He looked you up and down  as you made the remaining steps to The Mantis where Cere was waiting for you.

“You passed the test!” her face was lit up with a smile. 

“So, you knew about BD-1?” Cal asked, returning her gesture. 

“Come aboard, we’ll talk inside,”

She led the three of you inside, the hatch hissed closed behind you. Greez strutted in to meet you. 

“Oh! BD, this is Greez. Hey Greez.” you said to the droid who jumped off of your shoulder to the sofa. He practically shrieked as he gestured frantically with all four arms. 

“What is that!?”

BD-1 beeped defiantly. Unsatisfied, Greez chased after the droid trying to shoo him off.

“Get off my sofa! Get…get off my sofa! Get out of there! Get out!”

“Greez!” you scolded your captain, “This is BD-1. He’s with us,”

“I don’t care who he’s with! Do you have any idea how hard it is to get oil stains off of potalli-weave fabric?!” 

 You crossed your arms. Typical Greez., “No,”

“Exactly! I hope you found something better out there than this droid!”

“Lighten up, Greez,” 

“Relax, they did. Tell us,”  Cere said

You took a seat on the edge of the prised sofa as Cal took his place on the steps.

“The Vault was built by an ancient civilisation called the Zeffo . A Jedi named Endo Cordova hid something inside of it,” 

You saw Cere’s face light up at the name, “What did he hide inside?”

“A holocron from the Archives. It contains a list of Force-sensitive children.”

“The next generation of Jedi. I knew it! Ah, Cordova, you old fool.”

“You knew him?” you asked.

“Yes,” she said excitedly, “A long time ago. I was his apprentice,” you smiled triumphantly. You knew she was closer to him than she let on “Cordova was a loner. That little droid and I

are probably the only ones that know about Bogano,”

Greez spoke up, “Hold on, wait a minute, wait a minute. A holo – what?”

“A holocron. It stores information but only accessible to Jedi. Hang on, I think I have one around here.” Cere fumbled around in one of the many cabinets and pulled out a holocron. 

She placed it in your hands. It was almost weightless and it felt almost natural in your hands.

“Use the force,”

You closed your eyes and concentrated. The holocron floated before you and began to break itself apart, then it reconstructed itself from a cube to a sort of octagon with odd corners floating around it. A hologram of a bearded Jedi Knight projected itself from the holocron. Cal and Greez watched in awe.

“This is Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. I regret to report that both our Jedi Order and the Republic have fallen…”

You screwed your eyes shut and turned off the recording, the box returning to its normal shape in the palms of your hands. 

“With that list of Force-sensitives, we could rebuild the Jedi Order and defeat the Empire,”

 “Okay, no problem. Let’s get it.” Greez shrugged and made his way to the cockpit, doing a double take when Cere told him otherwise.

“It’s not that simple. the holocron is hidden deep inside the Vault and to get it we have to follow Cordova’s path.He mentioned something about the planet Dathomir and a Zeffo homeworld,” You told him 

“Alright, well, where are we going? I’m just asking ‘cause I was thinking of maybe making some food.”

You rolled your eyes. Greez’s cooking was far from pleasant. Cal was lucky he hadn’t yet had the displeasure.

“Look, before we do anything,” Cal said, “I need to know something,”

He turned to Cere and then you. 

“How come you’re no longer a Jedi? Why is your force connection going haywire?”

Cere paused and became visibly distant before she spoke, “We had an experience that...changed our perspective. So, I cut myself off from the force and they have struggled to reestablish their connection ever since,”

“But you still want to rebuild the Order?”

“ We believe that rebuilding the Order is the best chance we have against the Empire. What do you believe?” you said as you squeezed Cere’s hand. You knew it was a sensitive subject for her, much like it was for you. 

Cal thought for a moment, “I believe I can’t keep hiding from the Empire, so I don’t really have a choice.”

“Cal, as long as you’re alive you will always have a choice. Are you with us?”

He turns to BD-1 who remained by his side. He nodded enthusiastically and let out a flurry of happy beeps.

“We’re in.”

“Dathomir or Zeffo?” Greez asked, gesturing to the holotable, “Your choice,”

You both stood and made your way over to the holomap that was now projecting three planets. The bright red tones of Dathomir contrasted against the greens of Zeffo and Bogano. BD took his place on the edge of the table, his small feet gripping the edge as he kept himself upright. After a small discussion between you and Cal he selected Zeffo. Greez let out an audible sigh of relief and you watched his worry resolve. The mantis rose up from the atmosphere and a few moments later you were surrounded by the deep blues of hyperspace.

Next • Story Masterlist •Main Masterlist

#ooooh #its gonna get juicy soon #cal kestis #star wars x reader #fallen order #fallen order x reader #Cere Junda #greez dritus #bogano #zeffo #dathomir #bd 1 #star wars #angst

[artemissunn]

TopGun ff/1

Pov I’m watching my two parrots not caring shit about the new food I got them. Also ruining literally everything. Disgraceful little ducks. It has a fun story how I got them, if anyone is interested I can tell you in the comments haha.

III.

It was around 1pm when Iceman woke up her daughter. We could say she slept in after watching a whole season on Netflix. She only fell asleep after 3 in the morning. Ice knew that, and since Cam didn’t have to do anything in the morning he let her sleep.

When it was time he sat next to her gently shaking her shoulder a little.

“Cam, sweetie.” Iceman caressed her cheek.

“Hm..” she turned in her bed.

“Time to wake up. We’re leaving in an hour.”

“Are you mad.. an hour..” She pulled the blanket over her head.

“Baby, I know you are tired but we talked about this last night.”

“I know..” still she wasn’t moving.

“Fine then, the hard way it is..” he smirked little to himself. He did this when Cam was smaller. “Out of the bed soldier! Don’t make me say it twice!” He pulled off the blanket. “It it gonna be fifty pushups? Out of the bed!” He jokingly yelled and Cam started laughing.

“I’m not ten. But nice try.” She giggled sitting up.

“Come on sweetheart. I’ve made you breakfast.. lunch. Yeah. Come down.” He placed a soft kiss onto her forehead.

“Okay, just gonna dress up.”

Ice wasn’t too much of a cook. It was Sarah who was in the kitchen most of the time. Ice just helped in sometimes. As Cam was dressing up he called Mav. He only heard loud noises, a jet taking off.

“Where the hell are you Maverick?”

“Had something to take care of.” He said. But both knew it could wait.

“Mav, you can’t run away all the time.”

“I’m not running away Ice.”

“Yes you are! I know it’s hard but you know there are some decisions you have to make. Even if it’s rough.”

“I..” there weren’t many times when Maverick couldn’t say something. But now he seemed to be out of words. “I’m not good for this. I wish Charlie was still alive.. I can’t do this. I’m not a father, I’m a pilot.” He sat down forehead in his hand.

“Sometimes you have to be both Mav.”

“She doesn’t talk.. I don’t even know how to get closer.”

“Of course she doesn’t talk, she had a trauma, we don’t even know if she has any ptsd after it. That damn car was pushed into the cold river.”

“I know it was.” He swallowed. “I need you Ice, I need your help so bad.”

“I’m here. Go home, we’ll be there soon too. I just need to get Cam, I think she went back to bed.”

“Late nighter?”

“Was hanging with your pilots, and then watched something all night.”

“Ice.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re a good father.”

“You’ll be too, Mav.” Iceman knew they just needed to break the, well the ice. But who knew how thick was it. It was just so hard for them and god knows how long it would take. Neither Lacey or Maverick was ready to take a step ahead. Most likely they were slowly stepping back and back again.

“I don’t know man..”

“You will. Gotta go now, Cam finally showed up.”

“Dad where’s mom?” She asked.

“Went to see one of her friends sweetheart.”

“I can’t find my sweater.”

“Get ready Maverick. They are sometimes the worst little creatures. Bye buddy.” He laughed and hung up the phone.

“Have you seen it? It’s purple.”

“No baby, I haven’t.” He shook his head.

“Ah fuck..”

“Cam.”

“Sorry dad.” But she still rolled her eyes.

“We’re leaving in five.”

Well. It happened to be fifteen minutes. Eventually Cam found that purple sweater she wanted. Pairing it with black jean shorts she was all ready. The drive only took about a few minutes. None of them wanted to walk. So car it is.

Mav was already waiting for them outside with a worried expression on his face.

“Mav, what happened?”

“I got home but she wasn’t here.”

“Did she took anything with her? Clothes? A bag?” Ice lifted his eyebrows.

“No, everything is here.”

“Mav did you tell her we were coming over?” Ice asked and Cam was already laughing in her hand.

“I.. No I forgot.” He realized.

“Call her then.”

But he was hesitant.

“Oh my gosh Mav.” Cam laughed up loudly.

“You don’t have her number?” Ice facepalmed.

“I don’t…” his friend sighed. “I suck at this.. jesus.”

“She’ll be back. Don’t worry, let’s go in.” Ice pushed Mav into the house by his shoulders. Cam was still giggling about how much of a mess her uncle was.

“I mean. You start with every girl getting her number, how did you miss that step?” She asked Mav.

“Shut up Cam.” Ice playfully hit her thigh.

“No, she is right.” Mav smiled a little.

They heard the door open and Maverick jumped up faster than a missile.

Lacey didn’t realize that someone was at home and when Maverick rushed out of the living room she almost screamed.

“Oh gosh.. where were you? Why didn’t you tell me you were going away?” He didn’t mean to but his voice was more aggressive than it should be.

“Mav..” Ice heard it and warned him.

“Because you weren’t home..?” Lacey asked raising her eyebrows.

Ice walked over to them smiling.

“It’s nice to finally meet you. I’m Tom Kazansky, only Iceman.” He shook her hand.

“It’s nice to meet you. Lacey.” He looked kind and she still saw some of the mischievous spark in his eyes. She heard stories about her father and Iceman. When they were still young and flew together. It was always her mother who was telling their stories in stead of her father, who should be the one. Her smile slowly died down, and Ice noticed that.

“I want to introduce you my daughter Cam.” He hugged her shoulders.

Cam recognized her from last night, she was the girl Hangman tried to hook up with. Twist of fate huh?

“Hey, it’s Lacey.” A fake smile was the only thing she could gave.

“I saw you last night. At the Hard Deck.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, you were talking with Penny.” And ditched Hangman. Cam added in her head.

“Oh, I’m sorry but I didn’t see you.” She admitted. It was only Penny and Hangman she remembered.

“It’s fine.” She waved it off.

“You were at the Hard Deck?” Mav asked.

“It’s the genes what took her there.” Ice patted his shoulder.

“To be exact I’ll work there.”

Mav wanted to comment it but Ice spoke up first.

“Really? That’s gonna be good.” He nodded. “You know Penny and you father has some, business going on.”

“Do they?”

“Oh yeah. Right old man?”

“Don’t old man me, it’s not me sitting in an office.” He rolled his eyes.

“Still I’m saving your ass every time.” Ice hushed him. “Girls why don’t you go out, beach maybe?”

“Dad I told you I’m meeting up with the guys.” Cam looked at her father.

“Take Lace with you.”

“Oh no, it’s okay. I have program for the evening anyways.” Lacey smiled lightly. Ice was acting like we were fifteen. It’s funny a bit.

“You sure?” Ice looked at me and then gave a look for his daughter.

She nodded.

When only Ice and Mav was in the room they started talking.

“She will lose up. Good thing she opened for Penny.”

“I’m just bad at this.”

“What would he say right now?” Iceman looked at his friend. Deep into his eyes.

“Don’t.. don’t bring Goose into this.” He swallowed his tears.

“You’re not listening to me Mav.”

He didn’t say anything. Ice knew he needed some time.

“Imma go now, think.” He stood up patting his friend’s back.

“Don’t go.” He finally said.

The night at the Hard Deck just begun. Penny was teaching Lacey, just explaining her everything. The job was taking her mind off things, the constant spinning and small chats with the aviators seemed to help.

Soon Cam appeared on Hangman’s side, Coyote, Bob, Phoenix coming with them. Fanboy and Payback arrived a little later. As usual they were playing.

“So there will be this night.” Penny started when they had a little time to sit down.

“What night?” Lacey tucked back a strand of lose hair which escaped from the big hair-clip.

“We’ll be hosting an old timer night. 20’s, 50’s, 60’s, 70’s, 80’s. And I was thinking.” Penny smiled.

“And when will this night be?” Penny had the talent, somehow only she could steal little smiles from Lacey. Maybe it was the place helping too. But at the Hard Deck she thought less about that night.

“Friday.”

“It’s tomorrow!”

“That’s the best thing. You don’t have to wait.”

“So what were you thinking about?” She shook her head smiling.

“We should dress up Donna and the Dynamos.”

“We?”

“Of course.”

“But they were a trio.”

“Ah that’s settled. It’s on you.”

“Fine.” She laughed silently. “This should be epic though. Where are we getting costumes?”

“That’s settled too. Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m already scared.”

“Oh I forgot to mention. Pete is coming in Sam’s costume. I bought it yesterday.”

“Mamma Mia Sam?”

“It will be fun.”

“Can you sing?”

“Can you?” She raised her eyebrows.

“He can.” I pointed at Bradley.

“Do you know him?”

“Of course. It’s Bradley.”

He waved over to her but when a gorgeous girl walked in he turned his glance to her. He held out his hand for the girl. She had platinum blonde wavy, almost curly hair. She was short and a smile always sat on her face.

“That’s his fiancee.” Penny stepped beside her.

“She looks sweet.”

“She is, just something is missing from her.”

“Only the spice and everything nice.” Cam sat into one of the bar chairs.

“Yeah, look how your boy is looking at her.” Penny silently laughed. “Hangman is beyond annoyed.”

“He is not my boy.”

“Of course he is. He’s getting better. Two full minutes when she is around.”

“I’m sure she is not that bad.” Lacey said but the two women looked at her like she said that the submarines can fly. “Alright I’ll take it back.”

“Thank you.” Cam took a sip from his beer.

“I don’t fucking know how can anyone like her.” Hangman rushed over to them and the familiar cologne hit Lacey’s nose.

“Lace, I wanna introduce you to my fiancee, Carrie.”

Her hair wasn’t enough, even her name is like Carole. But the weird thing was that truly nobody liked her. Aside from Bradley and Maverick.

“It’s nice to meet you.” She shook her hand.

“I’m happy to meet you! Bradley sweetheart told me many things about you.” She smiled. Somehow too sweetly to be true.

When she and Bradley went back to the rest of the group Lacey quietly said, which only a few could hear. Even she had southern accent. The only thing missing from her, was the fierceness of Carole

“This is a very sick joke from life..”

Tag list: @blue-aconite @luckyladycreator2 @dempy

#bradley bradshaw #goose top gun #jake hangman seresin #nick bradshaw #pete maverick mitchell #rooster top gun #hangman x oc #top gun maverick #pete mitchell #phoenix #bradley bradshaw x oc #jake seresin x oc #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley bradshaw x reader

[nurse-buckley]

Panic Attack

Fandom: 9-1-1 Word Count: 1,216 Pairing: Buddie Warnings: Mentions of panic attacks, fireworks, PTSD, near death experience. Spoilers for 911 4x13 and 4x14 (but if you haven’t seen them or the spoilers, where have you been?)  Tagslist: @firemedicdiaz , @fireladybuckley @pupandangelscoffee @winterreader-nowwriter @iamasimpingh0e @dayrin085 Thank you, as always, to my amazing beta @firemedicdiaz <3 Prompt fill for the square Panic Attack on my long neglected @badthingshappenbingo​ card! 

To say Chris had been excited ever since Buck had invited him and Eddie over to his apartment for 4th of July celebrations was an understatement. Buck’s balcony was the perfect vantage point to watch the various fireworks displays as the citizens of LA filled the sky with colorful flashes of light. The promise of burgers and cool beers had sealed the deal for Eddie. 

With night beginning to fall, the three made their way out onto the balcony as bright flashes of colour began to light up the night sky. Buck glanced between Chris and Eddie, smiling to himself as he saw the looks of awe in their faces at the displays, their heads moving from side to side, not quite knowing where to look next. 

Buck’s breath hitched, not quite prepared when a particularly loud and close firework ripped through the sky a few streets away, the orange illuminating the horizon as the embers from the firework littered the sky, fizzing out as they faded into the dark of the night. 

Buck couldn’t see that though; he couldn’t appreciate the dancing and swirling of golden light as another firework exploded with a bang. He couldn’t see the beautiful colours and hear the cheers of the people around him. He was back on that sunny LA street corner. Eddie stood a few feet in front of him. Another bang and he saw Eddie jerking forward as the bullet ripped a path through his shoulder. The warmth of the blood - Eddie’s blood - as it spattered across his face, the metallic tang of it in his mouth. Buck felt sick. He wanted to run, run as far away from the scene that plagued his mind over and over again as he could, but just as he’d been on that fateful day, he was unable to move. 

“Woah!” Eddie heard Chris gasp from beside him as the blues and greens littered the sky. His gaze lingered as he reveled in the moment, never growing tired of seeing the enjoyment on his son's face. 

Chris let out another cheer as a particularly impressive display began, the LA sky being blasted with golden rockets shooting into the darkness with a loud piercing scream, dancing around each other. 

The screams pierced through Buck’s mind. He was no longer on the street but in the back of the firetruck, his hands desperately trying to save his best friend’s life; begging him to hold on. The screams of the rockets echoing the screeching of the tires as they sped towards the hospital, bullets ricocheting off the side of the metal of the truck. 

Eddie’s gaze shifted from his son to Buck, hoping to see the same awe and wonder in his friend’s eyes. He froze, his smile fading as he noticed the vacant look there instead; Buck’s hands trembling, his breathing coming in short gasps. 

“Buck?” 

There was no response as Buck continued to stare into the distance, flinching in response as more explosions filled the sky. Eddie knew what was happening, he’d seen it before with other vets; he’d experienced it himself during the first 4th of July after he’d returned home from Afghanistan. Buck wasn’t next to him - physically maybe, but mentally he was stuck in the moment Eddie had almost lost his life. 

Eddie leaned in close to his friend.  

“Buck. I need you to take a deep breath for me,” Eddie ordered gently. “It’s alright. You’re okay. You’re safe. We’re both safe.” 

Chris noticed his dad and Buck were not by his side anymore. “Dad? What’s wrong with Buck?” 

Eddie looked back to his son, “it’s okay Mijo,” he reassured, “stay out here okay?” 

Eddie gently took a hold of Buck’s hand as he guided him back into the apartment, away from the noise outside. He sat Buck down, kneeling in front of him, taking Buck’s hand in his own and placed it on his own chest, holding him still as Buck attempted to pull away. 

Buck came to slightly, feeling Eddie solid and warm beneath him, the flashbacks fighting against his rational brain at the memory of his hands on Eddie’s chest. Eddie’s heart thumping wildly against his palm in an uneven and panicked rhythm, terrified it would stop at any given minute as he held pressure on his wound. 

This time was different though. The body beneath his palm wasn’t slick with blood, his skin wasn’t cold and clammy and the pulse beneath his fingertips wasn’t frantic. Eddie was warm, solid; his heart was steady and strong. Eddie was alive. 

Eddie held Buck’s hand on his chest, placing his other on Buck’s own chest, feeling the wild thumping as his heart pounded against his ribcage as the panic gripped him. “We’re going to take a deep breath together, okay? Follow my lead,” he instructed. 

Buck was coming to his senses a little more, the warmth of Eddie’s body beneath his hand, his steady heartbeat, strong and stable, the soft fabric of his Henley all helping to keep him grounded. The younger man swallowed, nodding his head before he followed Eddie’s lead as he sucked in a deep breath. 

“That’s good, now we’re going to hold,” Eddie continued, holding his breath for a few measured seconds, before he slowly let it out, instructing Buck to do the same. 

Eddie continued to guide Buck through the breathing exercise, helping to clear Buck’s mind and ground him with each cycle. Eddie was relieved when Buck’s vision came back into focus and his pulse finally began to slow as the adrenaline began to wear off. 

When Eddie was sure Buck was over the worst of it, he slowly released his and Buck’s hand, giving Buck a gentle clap on the shoulder, “are you okay?” 

“I-I don’t know what happened,” Buck let out a deep breath, “I was watching the fireworks and I guess the noise, I don’t know man. It was like I was back there. Back on the street, under the truck with the lights and smell of the smoke…” 

“Breathe,” Eddie reminded him. 

“I wasn’t even the one who got shot, I’ve got no right to feel this way,” Buck couldn’t look at Eddie, ashamed that he was taking away from the trauma Eddie went through. “I just…that day, I thought I’d lost you. When Captain Mehta held me down, all I could think about was getting to you. I didn’t care what happened to me. If anything happened to you that day…” 

“But it didn’t. Evan,” Eddie said his name softly, “you did. You got to me. You saved me. I survived.” 

“But…” 

“But nothing. Buck, you went through a trauma that day, the only reason you didn’t end up getting shot was pure luck and even with a crazed sniper shooting at us, you still chose to put yourself in danger for me.” 

“Thanks Eds,” Buck smiled sadly, “I’m sorry, I’ve ruined the night for you and Chris.” 

“You haven’t ruined the night, Buck. Chris is out there still having the time of his life,” Eddie reassured. “Do you feel ready to come back out?” Eddie asked, holding out a hand for him. 

Buck took a deep breath, shaking the last of the panic off before taking Eddie’s outstretched hand and following him back onto the balcony.

#badthingshappenbingo #bad things happen bingo #ptsd #911 #9-1-1 #911 fanfic #9-1-1 fanfic #911 fanfiction #9-1-1 fanfiction #eddie diaz #evan buckley #eddie x buck #buddie #christopher diaz #buckley diaz family #mine #my fic #my writing