#we’ve all been through so much omg

[cozage]

Omg I hope it’s not too late! Happy 2K yayayayay it’s been really fun watching you grow 😭. I remember when your blog was pretty new and I asked you for advice on how to make my own and you said try not to make a 2nd blog. I was wondering if I could have option 1 with a S/O who dated the monster trio but they broke up so now they are trying to win their heart back.

A/N: still my greatest regret is making this a secondary blog but it all worked out! Hope you are doing well :) thanks for being along for the ride.  Characters: gn reader x Luffy, Zoro, Sanji Total word count: 1k

Get You Back

Luffy

Luffy tries his best to move on because he thinks that's what you want.  Even though he hates going to bed alone and not sitting next to you at dinner, he tries to get over it. 

At first he acts like nothing happened. He still runs to tell you stuff as soon as he finds out something, and he always wants to take you on adventures. Sure, you broke up, but you’re still nakama, right?

Nami explains to him that you need some time before things will go back to a sense of normal, and Luffy agrees to give you space. But god, he hates it. He’s so lonely.

One night, he can’t take it anymore. He knows it’s your night to keep watch, and he joins you in the crow’s nest. He knows he should let you be, but he has to try one more thing. 

“Do you think you’ll ever forgive me?” he asked, looking out over the stars. 

“I’ve already forgiven you, Luffy.” Your voice is sad, and he knows that you’ve been lonely too. 

He turns to look at you, eyes wide and heart beating hard in his chest. “Do you think we’ll ever be together again?”

“I-” you stop, captivated by his wide, hopeful eyes. “I don’t know,” you answered truthfully. 

“I miss you,” he admitted. “I miss you so much. I hate going to bed and I hate not being around you during the day. I hate when I find a cool bug and I can’t show it to you, or when we visit an island and you don’t join me on an adventure. I just want things to be normal again. I’ll do anything, please.”

“I want to be with you, Luffy,” you said. “I just-”

He lunged for you, his lips attacking you with desperation and eagerness. You can feel his words turning into actions; you can feel how much he has longed to kiss you and touch your skin again. And maybe, just maybe, it’ll work out this time. 

Zoro

Zoro didn’t think you were serious when you said it was over. So, when he went into his room and couldn’t find any of your things, he was confused. 

He sought you out, curious. “Hey, where’s your stuff?” 

But you just rolled your eyes. “Get it through your brain Zoro. Unlike you, I say what I mean. We’re over.”

Oh. That last fight had been a breakup fight. Now he understood. 

But he saw the pain in your eyes. He knew you didn’t want this outcome. So he’d just have to prove that he was worthy of you 

He doesn’t beg for you back, but he keeps his word with everything he does. 

When you ask him to do something, he does it. Hell, even if the cook asks him to do something, he does it without complaint (especially if you’re in the room). He always keeps his word. Always. 

Part of him acts like nothing happened. He still shares booze with you, naps near you, laughs with you. But he won’t ask for you back. Even if its the only thing he wants.

After about a month, he’s had enough. It’s just the two of you on the ship, watching the Sunny as the others run off to the island. 

“When are we going to go back to normal?” he demands, storming up to you. “Don’t you think we’ve been apart for too long?”

“I told you, Zoro-”

“Don’t say it.” His voice was gruff as he pushed you up against the wall and pinned you there with his own body. “Please, don’t say it.”

“We’re bad for each other,” you whispered, trying to ignore the mess of emotions you were feeling at the moment.

“We’re not,” he argued. “I swear we’re not. Let me prove it.” His lips hover over your mouth, waiting for permission. “Please, let me prove it.”

“One more cha-” His lips crash into yours, and you find yourself melting into the touch you had missed so much over the past few weeks. 

Sanji

This man is the best at apologies. He knows no shame and smothers you in love. 

Every morning, you get an immaculate breakfast. Your snacks and desserts are the ones he knows you adore. You are pampered beyond your wildest imagination (which is impressive after dating Sanji for so long. You thought you had seen it all.)

Fresh flowers at your bedside every morning (where is he getting all of these flowers??). Rose petals lead to your bedroom at night. You’d think you were on a honeymoon.

It’s almost annoying. It’s almost too much. But Sanji knows when he’s starting to become annoying, and he’ll let up slightly, just long enough for you to calm down. And then he’ll start back up again. 

The biggest thing for you though, is the next time you go onto an island. 

His eyes stay on you. They hardly even linger as he walks with you, Nami, and Usopp through the shopping district. 

If any pretty ladies walk by, he doesn’t even bother to look. He’s so captivated by you that he doesn’t even notice anyone else. 

While your back is turned or while you’re shopping, he doesn’t even gawk at any islanders (Nami and Usopp watch him for ANY hint of flirtation. There is NONE.)

He only vanishes for a brief moment in a jewelry store, coming back with a little bag of his own. “Cufflinks,” he explains. “My other ones broke.”

When you all get back to the ship, he pulls you aside and gives you a bracelet full of aquamarine stones that reminds you of his eyes. 

“Please, be mine again,” he begs, holding the box out. “It hurt to breathe without you. I need you. Please.”

“Sanji,” you breathe out. “It’s beautiful.”

“Just like you,” he whispers. “Y/N, I’m so-”

You jump into his arms, pushing your lips against his. You missed that sweet taste of vanilla that was always on his tongue, and you had a feeling you wouldn’t ever have to go without it again.

#one piece #one piece imagine #one piece scenario #one piece x reader #one piece x you #luffy #monkey d luffy #monkey d. luffy #luffy x reader #luffy x y/n #zoro #roronoa zoro #zoro x reader #zoro x y/n #sanji #black leg sanji #vinsmoke sanji #sanji x reader #sanji x y/n #cozage #✧˚ luffy✧˚ #✧˚zoro✧˚ #✧˚sanji✧˚

[sofs16]

our leclerc win

continuation to a paddock day — next

yn

liked by charles_leclerc and 30 others

yn it’s charles day! i know im usually very unserious and goofy at times but lets be fr, charles is my other half. actually, he allows me to be me so basically he’s my whole being. ill say what everyone is thinking, i know people are like omg f1 driver! omg! BUT HE IS MUCH MORE THAN THAT! he burns pasta for a living (he’s learning atm), plays me beautiful songs on the piano im always blessed to hear, reassures me when things dont feel right, and everything in between that. i will always be behind you, charles leclerc. even if i have to find a job soon, i will be supporting you through a screen. i love you and it’s kind of stupid but i think youre the one for me. thanks for choosing me

view all 50 comments

landonorris Your love is disgustingly sweet but happy birthday mate🎉

charles_leclerc I love you so much. charles_leclerc ���😘😘

charles_leclerc You are the one for me as wel, cherie❤️ [liked by yn] pierregasly Charles is crying on my shoulder

⤷ yn good

⤷ charles_leclerc 😂

october 16, 2023

yn

liked by charles_leclerc, and 35 others yn hot a$$ 💋

view all 37 comments

landonorris why not just say ass

⤷ yn because im manifesting money, dumbass

⤷ charles_leclerc Woah.

⤷yn dw baby, waldo lets me call him dumbass because he thought i was one of the development drivers and then got embarrassed and walked into a door

⤷ landonorris I THOGUHT WE WERENT TELLING ANYONE ABT THAT

⤷ yn 🤷🏻‍♀️ loyal gf 1st, human 2nd, lando friend 3rd.

⤷ carlossainz55 what about me, yn

⤷ yn ooooo . loyal gf 1st, human 2nd, carlos fan 3rd, lando friend 4th

⤷ landonorris EZCHSE ME

⤷ fernandoalo_oficial Hello Yn👋

⤷ yn NEVERMIND loyal gf 1st, fernando fan 2nd, human 3rd, carlos fan 4th, lando friend 5th

⤷ landonorris Wow.

⤷ yn but being human is loving lando norris so 🤷🏻‍♀️

⤷ landonorris My fav wag (unless i get a gf) 🧡

[liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, fernandoalo_oficial, yourbsf, and pierregasly]

november 16, 2023

yn

liked by charles_leclerc, and 18 others

yn WAHTTTT!!! first (and last of the season) day back at the paddock as A WAG. A WAG. ME?

view all 7 comments

charles_leclerc We’ve been dating 5 months, mon ange…

⤷ yn AND ILL NEVER GET OVER IT

landonorris Pretty!

⤷ charles_leclerc Norris. ⤷ landonorris AS A FRIEND MATE

⤷ yn YOURE SO CUTIE LANDO THANKS!!! yourbsf PROUD MOM ERA [ liked by yn ]

november 24, 2023

| kellypiquet has requested to follow you! 10m

| maxverstappen1 has requested to follow you! 2m

2 requests accepted!

yn.updates

liked by ynlover16, and 1,181 others

yn.updates After 5 months, Yn has gone public on Instagram and is now verified! view all 47 comments

ynlocer16 3RD RECENT LORD HAVE MERCY

⤷ charles.yn AHAHA CHARLES FIGHTING THE DRIVERS IN THE COMMENTS

charlferrari ALL THE CHARLES CONTENT 🥹 OUR QUEEN!!! lwymmdts THE BIRTHDAY POST LAST MONTH. november 24, 2023

yn

abu dhabi

liked by charles_leclerc, and 381,272 others

yn p1 in abu dhabi and in my heart @charles_leclerc ❤️ no longer lowkey wag 😞😞😞😞 plsxdont hate me i have humor

view all 161,181 comments

ynprix SHE SILLYYYYY LOVEU THANKS FOR GOING PUBLIC QUEEN

⤷ yn @landonorris SEE i AM silly! ⤷ landnorris SOMETIMES

charles_leclerc I love you 😘

chayn im crying i just scrolled thru all her posts and saw some charles’ comments 🥹

⤷ yn.fan unfortunately she archived a lot of them:( ⤷yn_edits @yn PUT EM UPPPP

⤷ yn sorry yall thats private 😞 maybe when both of us pass away together

chachaferrari STOP DOES THIS MEAN CHARLES LEARNED HOW TO MAKE PASTA

⤷ yn ;)

ynsart i love how active she is! she’s replying (or liking comments) to everyone, its so wholesome

[liked by yn]

yourbsf ALWAYS LOWKEY

⤷ yn preach sister

november 26, 2023

charles_leclerc

liked by yn, and 4,272,585 others

charles_leclerc i see you, amour @yn 🌦️

view all 1,172,588 comments

yn dang, i’ll be sneakier next time! [liked by charles_leclerc]

ynferrari She takes photos?!?

⤷ charles_leclerc She double majored and did photography 💞

⤷ yn_lovvv HE SOUNDS LIKE A PROUD BFFF

december 2, 2023

charles_leclerc

liked by 3,181,493 others

charles_leclerc i love them 🤍

view all 248,595 comments

ynstyle YN MET THE FAMILY?

⤷ yn shit my pants the whole flight but i love them

⤷ arthur_leclerc Yup, after you introduced yourself with a different name👍🏻

⤷ yn ARTHUR WE DONT TALK ABOUT IT LLEASE I SEESR TO GOD

⤷ charles_leclerc I quite liked the name changed

ynred i feel like she said yn leclerc. [liked by yn]

december 24, 2023

yn

liked by 172,484 others

yn BEFORE ANY OF YALL SCOLD ME. yes, i brought the pizza. but did i think he’d ask for it mid (climbing/hiking? i dont even know babes) NO!

view all 35,283 comments

leclerc_pascale oh mon dieu

⤷ yn JE SUIS DÉSOLÉ MAMAN, C’EST TOUT CHARLES! i’m sorry maman, it’s all charles!

⤷charles_leclerc j’ai un rêve. respect that, amour 😓 i have a dream. respect that, love

⤷ yn i respect that dream of eating in CERTAIN places but okay😘

yn1989 jesus how many languages does she speak

⤷ yn 7🤍

⤷yn1989 WHAT. WHICH ONES

⤷ yn german, italian, french, japanese, spanish, english, and icelandic! ⤷ yn1989 charles’ favorite number is 7 😭 you both are so cool

⤷yn IVE BEEN SAYING THIS AND HE ASKED ME OUT ON JUNE 3, 2023. 6(june)+3+2+2+3= 16. LIKE ARE U JOKING

⤷ landonorris @ charles_leclerc your girlfriend is actually crazy. She’s a crazy fan

⤷ charles_leclerc I love that about her though. All of her 💞

⤷ yn 🥲🙂 shaking. kicking my feet. biting my nails. screaming. ripping my hair out

january 14, 2024

chayn.updates

liked by yn, and 5,695 others

chayn.updates yn wearing one of charles’ polos in her recent post ;)

view all 492 comments

charleswife midddd. could literally be any polo..

⤷ charloss why are you actin like u have a chance bbg 😭 and ferrari and charles’ initials in on the bottom collar

january 18, 2024

charles_leclerc

liked by 8,707,606 others

charles_leclerc I usually do not post for birthday’s but the world needs to see my AMAZING photos of you (@ yourbsf)😘 Yn, meeting you has changed my life like no other. to the chef in our house, the singer, the one translating a lot of things for me, dressing me up, and “everything in between”, happiest birthday amour ❤️ I got my Leclerc win when I met you

view all 4,484,585 comments

yourbsf yn will lose her shitballs over this and IM THE BETTER PHOTOGRAPHER

lewishamilton Happiest birthday to the life of the grid! landonorris happy birthday smartass 🧡

⤷ yn thanks dumbass 😘

yn IM GOIN CRAYB

yn I DONT DESERVE YOU IM SHITTING MY PANTS WHSTVTHEFUCK

pierregasly Yn is born on the 16th too?!?

⤷ yn hehehehehe

daniel3.jpg I took that first photo👍🏻

leclerc_pascale ♥️je t’aime. joyeux anniversaire xx

⤷ yn merci maman! à bientôt 🥹🤍🤍🤍

[liked by leclerc_pascale, and charles_leclerc]

may 16, 2024

yn

liked by 1,282,182 others

yn life’s hectic as usual

view all 329,585 comments

landonorris what do you even do. im still so confsued

⤷ yn im a fulltime gf who sometimes goes to her job and takes pics and makes clothes 🤷🏻‍♀️

charles_leclerc yeux d’ ange

⤷yn 💌

charlie166 charles sent those flowers. bet all my money.

⤷yn mans be winning in imola and sending me flowers and sending me virtual kisses 💋

view all 117,383 comments

may 27, 2023

charles_leclerc and yn’s stories

replies:

pierregasly replied to yn’s story: Get a room

charles_leclerc replied to yn’s story: lovely photo of me baby🫤 thank you

yn replied to charles_leclerc’s story: damnnnn nice photo tnx babe. i look like a housewife

landonorris replied to yn’s story: EWWWWWW

carlossainz55 replied to yn’s story: Chill, yn. Breathe.

#f1 fanfic #f1 imagines #formula 1 #charles leclerc #charles leclerc fanfic #social media au #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc 16 #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc one shot #charles lecrelc #charles leclerc imagines #formula one #social media #formula 1 x you #formula 1 x reader #landonorris

[moonstruckme]

hi lovely!! i just had the most amazing 7 hrs of my life just scrolling through your page and reading all of your marauders work!! i never even thought about poly!marauders being a possibility until i found your page and i think you’ve altered my brain chemistry forever???

that being said, i would absolutely be so grateful if you could write a gn!reader with poly!marauders at the start of their relationship, where reader’s a much shorter than average person and the boys (who would be so, so tall) have to learn how to walk slower to make sure they don’t leave them behind. i’m so much shorter than my friends and what i do most of the times is run forward in advance and be in front of the group so i don’t get left behind. i’m totally used to it by now, but it’d be nice to have ppl recognize not everyone can go at the same pace, you know? that was so long, so sorry!! and no worries at all if you don’t wanna write it, totally understand! love u so much 🫶🏽🫶🏽

Hi love!! Omg, 7 hours??? Were your eyes okay after that? Sorry it took me so long to get to this, but thanks a ton for requesting and I hope you like it <3

poly!marauders x gn!reader ♡ 644 words

It’s mainly James and Sirius that are the problem. Remus has learned to hold your hand to temper his own long-legged pace, but much like with talking, when James and Sirius get together they start moving at double the speed. 

“Should we call them?” he asks. 

You consider it. “Let’s see how far they get before they notice.” 

A couple more minutes go by, and Remus can barely see the tops of their heads through the crowded sidewalk. 

“Still no idea?” He searches for notes of dejection in your tone, but finds only amusement. 

“None.” 

“Let’s hide.”

He blinks. “What? No, love…” He sighs reluctantly, but lets you tug him into a nearby coffee shop. 

You buy them each a hot chocolate, and it’s five more minutes before Sirius and James go by in the shop’s window, appearing slightly bemused but otherwise unconcerned. You make to go outside, but this time it’s Remus who holds you back. 

“No, let them stew a minute.” 

The next time they come by, the pair looks noticeably more troubled. Remus knocks on the window, and you both wave when they turn to you, gawping. 

The bell jingles as they come inside. 

“Hey, we’ve been looking for you.” James rubs his hands together, blowing warmth into them. Remus feels a tiny bit guilty and takes them between his. He pretends not to see the toothy grin James shoots him. 

“Oh?” Remus makes his tone casual, and you sip at your hot chocolate to hide your smile. “For how long?” 

“Like, five minutes. You just disappeared,” Sirius complains, scooching into your chair so that you have to share it with him. He peers at your hot chocolate, then Remus’. “Oi, you didn’t get any for us?” 

“Interesting,” Remus goes on, ignoring the question, “because we’ve been in here for nearly fifteen.” 

Sirius blinks, and James cocks his head. “Really?” James asks. 

You nudge Remus’ leg playfully under the table. “No,” you tell them, rolling your eyes. “We just wanted to see how long it would take you guys to notice we weren’t behind you.” 

“You could stand to be a little more considerate,” Remus says primly, sipping his hot chocolate. 

“Aw, baby.” Sirius nestles his freezing nose into your cheek, grinning when you squirm away. “Did those little legs of yours separate us?” 

You roll your eyes, but once again Remus comes to your defense. “Their legs aren’t the problem, yours are. Until you two can learn to be considerate of the less…height privileged” —he pretends not to see the aghast look you send him, and goes on with faux dispassion— “there will be no hot chocolate for either of you.” 

Sirius scoffs, but James is nodding slowly, seeming to mull things over. “Sounds fair,” he says. “However, have you considered that we could simply purchase our own hot chocolate?” 

“Not,” says Remus, “on ethical grounds.” 

James pulls his hands kindly from Remus’ grasp, giving him an almost consoling pat on the shoulder. “C’mon, Pads, let’s go order.” Sirius hops up, and James stops by your chair on his way past to drop a kiss on your head. “We’ll try to keep to your speed from now on, lovie. Sorry.” 

“It’s okay,” you say, having forgiven them long before they even knew they wanted to be forgiven. 

“Honestly, who should you really be mad at?” Sirius gives you a conspiratorial look. “Your knight in shining armor over there just called you ‘the less height privileged.’” 

“Don’t let him turn us against each other,” Remus says, reaching across the table to clasp your hand firmly. “It’s how he gets his way.” 

“I know,” you stage-whisper back. Then to Sirius, “Go get your hot chocolate, and I’ll decide who I’m mad at depending on whether there’s a slice of pumpkin bread with you when you come back.” 

He scurries towards the counter.

#poly!marauders #poly!marauders x reader #poly!marauders x gn!reader #poly!marauders x y/n #poly!marauders x you #poly!marauders fanfiction #poly!marauders fanfic #poly!marauders fic #poly!marauders fluff #poly!marauders imagine #poly!marauders drabble #poly!marauders scenario #poly!marauders baby blurb #poly!marauders one shot #poly!marauders oneshot #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin #james potter x reader #sirius black x reader #remus lupin x reader #the marauders #marauders era #marauders x reader #marauders fanfiction #marauders #marauders fanfic #marauders fic #marauders fandom #hp marauders

[chrisevansonly]

𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐜

✯social media au

✯what’s better than marrying your fiancée and then surprising the world?

✯another charles because i can’t help it lol

y/n’sinsta added to their story!

comments

my favs are in lake como 😍😍

DO I SMELL WEDDING VIBES?!

i wonder what the two love birds are doing in lake como….

best vacation spot ever!!!

y/nleclerc

liked by charles_leclerc, vogueitalia, francisca.cgomes and 5M others

pour toujours me semble parfait, je t'aime sans fin♥️

tagged charles_leclerc

see 250,000 comments

username I KNEW IT I KNEW IT😭😭

username look at them!!! IM SCREAMING

username y/n looks so beautiful 🥹

francisca.cgomes the most perfect weekend and wedding ever love you both so much ❤️❤️

>pierregasly was perfect until you ditched me on the dance floor..

>y/nleclerc not my fault you suck at dancing frenchy😗

username AHAHA PIERRE

arthurleclerc so happy for you both❤️

liked by charles_leclerc and y/nleclerc

charles_leclerc je t’aime tellement chérie, so grateful to have you as my wife❤️❤️

liked by y/nleclerc

charles_leclerc

liked by y/nleclerc, apmmonaco, carlossainz55 and 6M others

I am the luckiest man alive to call you my wife, y/n you are nothing short of brilliant, beautiful and kind. you brought so much light and love into my life at a time i needed it most. you are the sun to my moon, the stars to my sky, and the answer to all of my questions and prayers. there is no one else who is so perfect for me, and I’ll continue to love you for as long as i can. thank you for for being my best friend, my partner and now my wife.

je t’aime tellement chérie, tu as tout mon cœur♥️

tagged y/nleclerc

see 175,000 comments

username i couldn’t even make it through the caption without crying😭

username charles being the biggest sap for y/n😭

landonorris mate…cmon now

>carlossainz55 i’m crying too dw

>alexalbon 🥹🥹🥹

username I CANNOT

landonorris so pick me, choose me!

>y/nleclerc pop off meredith grey

lilyhme omfg😭😭

>y/nleclerc i know 😭

y/nleclerc charles i love you so much, you have my whole heart and soul forever. you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and i’m so grateful and thankful i get to call you my husband. thank you for making me cry all weekend, je t’aime, je t’aime, je t’aime…

liked by charles_leclerc

>charles_leclerc♥️♥️

y/nleclerc

liked by charles_leclerc, carmenmmundt, scuderiaferrari and 1M others

little details from the best day of my life ♥️

tagged charles_leclerc

username omg the custom lace?!

username the way it says ‘hot wives club’

carmenmmundt everything was so stunning 🤍🤍

liked by y/nleclerc

username this weekend looked like a dream!!

charles_leclerc let’s do it all over again amour ♥️

>y/nleclerc same time next weekend?

>landonorris I CANT CRY AGAIN NO

liked by charles_leclerc

y/nleclerc added to their story!

*comments disabled*

y/nleclerc

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, F1 and 998,000 others

honeymoon vibes only, sorry for not answering our phones, we’ve been busy😁

tagged charles_leclerc

see 60,000 comments

username HAHAHA BABY LECLERC INCOMING

>y/nleclerc @/charles_leclerc 😁😁😁

liked by charles_leclerc

username y/n dropping hints to charles already😭

username my favs!!

username greece looks so good on charles

danielriccardo there are kids on this app…

>y/nleclerc don’t worry lando’s not here 😌

>landonorris HEY!

>landonorris for the record i am scarred for life

>charles_leclerc good.

username poor lando💀💀

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc fake instagram #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc fake social media #charles leclerc 16 #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc f1 #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc x wife reader #charles leclerc x girlfriend reader #charles leclerc x y/n #charles leclerc x you #formula 1 #formula 1 masterlist #charles leclerc ferrari #rueswrites #ruesanswers #ruesanons<3 #ruesasks

[junesilk]

HIII omg ive been looking for a hxh blog for a WHILE there’s barely any that’s very active😭😭okok so since i’m a kurapika simp could you write headcanons and IF YOU WANTT, a mini scenario of jealous kurapika? hmm if you want an idea it could be smth like the reader has a guy bsf and kura got jealous from the lack of attention :(( THANK YOUU!

JEALOUS, JEALOUS BOY!

hxh main 4 x fem!reader

characters included: kurapika, leorio, killua, gon

i absolutely will, i have always loved jealousy prompts!! i’ve got several of these asks so far, so i’ll just kill multiple birds with one stone and go ahead and put them all together into a list of headcanons

not beta read ☝️

kurapika—

WHEN HE’S JEALOUS…

He’d be quiet in the moment, withdrawing himself from the conversation while staying by your side.

You most likely wouldn’t notice it right away because he is naturally a quiet person—

The most he would do is send a glare at the man taking all of your attention away, but other than that he’d avoid conflict.

As soon as you two were alone in a private setting, he would be much more clingy than usual

Which, in of itself would be unusual, as he’s not the type to be so physically attatched.

Perhaps it was his more possessive side coming out to play, but it certainly was new.

WHEN YOU’RE JEALOUS…

He’d know. Out of all of the main four, he’d pick it up fastest.

If the conversation wasn’t important, he’d find a way to end it quickly, to save you the jealousy.

If it is, he probably wouldn’t speed through it quite as much, but he’d place his hand on the small of your back,

His little way of assuring you he’s all yours.

He’d bring it up once you were alone, assuring you that he only had eyes for you.

leorio—

WHEN HE’S JEALOUS…

You’d feel his hand slide around your waist, looking up to see him staring at the other person

It was weird, you’d never seen him like… this!

If he was actively speaking in the conversation, every sentence referring to you would include some form of a pet name.

You could’ve sworn he said the words honey & babe at LEAST seven times

Once at home, he’d remind you who you loved most, pressing kisses to your flushed face.

WHEN YOU’RE JEALOUS…

Oh boy.

He’d be so proud, honestly. You loved him enough to be jealous? Heart melted.

You’d take his hand, tightly pressing your palms together and squeezing.

It’d take him a while to realize you’d been giving the other girl nasty looks for a few minutes, but once he did, he chuckled.

He’d make an excuse, wave goodbye to the poor girl, and then turn his attention to you.

“Woah, babe. If looks could kill..” He’d joke about it for a while, but in the end, he’d assure you there’s nobody he loves more.

killua—

WHEN HE’S JEALOUS…

He’d be extremely mean. Not to you, but to the man you were speaking to.

Killua is naturally really sarcastic, but he takes it to a whole other level.

Scoffing whenever the man made a joke, crossing his arms and looking away when you laugh.

He might use his assassin lineage to scare the other man away, but it’s rare he would need it.

He’s scary enough.

After freaking out the other man to the point where he’d left, he’d flick your forehead and roll his eyes. “That guy was looking at you weird!”

WHEN YOU’RE JEALOUS…

You wouldn’t know that he knew.

Not until the day afterwards, when there’s a chocolate robot laying beside your head when you wake up.

It’s his way for apologizing, or just letting you know that he did, in fact, know you were jealous

When asked, he’d shrug it off.

gon—

WHEN HE’S JEALOUS…

Gon’s not the type of person to get jealous.

He simply just doesn’t. It’s not because he doesn’t care for you or anything.

It’s because he’s too busy becoming friends with the new person!

Sure, he may pout if he’s not very interested in the conversation being held, but that’s the most he’d do.

WHEN YOU’RE JEALOUS…

We’ve all seen the movie.

Gon is oblivious, and remains to be that way unless you flat out tell him.

Feels bad for not realizing it earlier, but once told he tries his best to make it up to you.

He’d take you out on a date the next day, perhaps a picnic or something out in nature.

You can’t stay mad at him. After all, he just doesn’t pick up on these kinds of things very fast.

i hate how this got progressively shorter…… but wtv!!!

#kurapika x reader #leorio x reader #killua x reader #gon x reader #hxh x reader #hunter x hunter x reader #junesilk

[bangchansnudes]

f☆ck me

fuckboy!minho. 1.2k words. suggestive content.

“come on, lets enjoy a few more drinks then go~” your best friend nudges your arm, an annoying pout on her lips, “we’ve been here for an hour and he’s no where to be seen so lets just have fun!”

“fine.”

you didn’t really hate these parties but rather the people at them. especially one person in particular, resident fuck boy lee minho.

the boy irked you the wrong way right from the start. it happened a year ago, on your first day of college. you remembered happily walking to class that day, with your expensive textbook in one hand and a coffee in the other. then you met minho. the boy was also heading to the same class but without looking, walked right into you, causing your coffee to spill all over your textbook and your top. but instead of apologising, the boy smirked, accusing you of being too desperate for his attention.

and it had been hell for you since.

with the boy miraculously having an almost identical timetable as yours, you had no choice but to see him everyday. at first you just let him throw snarky comments at you but eventually, you bit back, the two of you having screaming matches almost on the daily. 

you always questioned why minho picked on you so much but you just passed it off as his shitty personality.

“come on, we need another drink!”

your best friend drags you down the dark hallway towards the kitchen, squeezing through the sea of drunken people inside the large frat house. thankfully the kitchen area isn’t as packed, allowing you to finally breath normally again.

“omg i think i just saw hwang hyunjin! grab us a refill, i’m gonna go say hi to him real quick okay!”

before you could even protest, your friend was already out of sight, leaving you alone. but nonetheless, you search around for some alcohol to fill your red cups.

“didn’t expect to see you here, nerd.”

that voice. that god awful voice that all the damn girls swoon over.

you attempt to ignore the boy but of course minho being minho, makes himself comfortable in front of you, entirely blocking your way.

“what the hell do you want?” your voice is reeking of irritation but it doesn’t seem to phase him one bit. looking up, you meet his gaze and almost immediately... you regret it.

as much as you didn’t want to admit it, you found lee minho absolutely breath taking. who didn’t, really. if it wasn’t for his loud mouth, perhaps you might’ve fallen for him like everyone else on campus.

“ouch, who hurt you,” he smirks, almost as if mocking you, “always such a bitch.”

“excuse me?”

“right, let me repeat myself slowly so you can understand better,” he leans in towards you, his face just inches away from yours, “you. are. such. a. bitch.”

“fuck you!”

you know for a fact that he’s trying to rile you up so you had to fight it, to keep calm and just walk away from the situation. the last thing you needed right now was to lose your voice from another screaming match with him.

with a sigh, you try to step around the boy but he’s quick to block you. again and again, minho blocks your path until you accidentally bump into him and spill one of the red cups onto yourself. completely drenching your top.

“are you fucking happy lee minho?” you’re on the verge of tears at this point, frustration now reaching new limits inside of you. in addition to the alcohol that’s already doing your head in.

you wait for the incoming attack of snarky remarks, of laughter, of smirks but nothing comes. instead, minho grabs your wrist and pulls you along, all the way up the stairs that you know was a “prohibited area” for party goers.

“minho- let go!” you struggle to free yourself from his grasp but he doesn’t budge, not until you’re both standing inside a bedroom that you assume belongs to him from all the pictures. to your surprise, he gives you a random shirt from the closet, without a single remark.

that must’ve been some sort of record for his trash mouth.

“um-” you can’t help but sound awkward, not knowing how to react to your enemy being nice for once, “l- look away so i can change!”

“it’s not like there’s anything to see.” 

“screw you,” you say as you quickly change while the man turns away.  

“why are you always so grumpy?” he turns back without care a moment after but luckily you’re already done, “maybe you just need to get dicked.”

“yeah maybe but definitely not by you.”

before you could even turn to leave, minho grabs your arm, pulling you back to him. the sudden obvious tension in the room is suffocating to say the least but it’s his darkened gaze that has you feeling nervous all over. the look in his eyes is completely unreadable, a stark contrast to the mocking one he usually gave you.

“wh- what are you doing-”

“why not me?” his voice is as low as whisper, the huskiness in his tone enough to send shivers down your spine, “you don’t think i can fuck you good?”

“it’s not that i think you can’t,” you’re unsure why you’re playing into his games, why you suddenly feel the urge to push his buttons in the most dangerous way possible, “i know you can’t.”

“watch it.”

“and what? what will you do lee min-”

minho slams you onto the door the moment those words leave your lips, the boy now caging you in with his much bigger frame. one of his hands is resting beside your head while the other is gripped onto your waist, almost as if afraid you’d run away.

“min-”

his lips were on yours before you could finish his name, kissing you with such urgency, like he’d been waiting for it. perhaps the alcohol you had earlier was finally kicking in, perhaps you were just plain crazy. whatever it may be, you found yourself kissing the man back without hesitation as well.

the kiss is nothing but rough, your bottom lip feels completely numb from how harsh minho is being but you don’t care.

“tell me you don’t want this and i’ll stop,” he mumbles as he pulls away slightly, just enough for you both to catch your breaths, “or else i don’t think i’ll be able to control myself.”

it’s crazy how you two could go from screaming at each other to literally dry humping in his bed room in two seconds but crazy is exactly how you’re feeling with his lips now marking down the side of your neck. but hell you wanted more. you wanted to have his hands on every curve, his lips everywhere possible and his obvious hard on deep, deep inside of you.

“minho...”

“tell me!”

you look at him through hazy eyes, everything in you is screaming for you to push him, to slap him, to run away. but you can’t get yourself to do any of that because deep down, hidden away in the depths of your secrets is your stupid crush on lee minho.

maybe you’ll regret this all by tomorrow morning, maybe not... but right now, all you wanted was lee minho and nothing was going to stop you from having him.

“fuck me.”

end.

2024 © bangchansnudes on TUMBLR. PLEASE DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE OR REPOST.    

#bangchansnudes #stray kids #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fic #stray kids imagine #skz #skz fanfic #stray kids x reader #skz smut #skz fic #stray kids smut #stray kids leeknow #stray kids minho #stray kids scenario #stray kids drabble #stray kids imagines #stray kids fuckboy #stray kids hard hours #skz hard hours #lee know #lee know smut #lee know x reader #leeknow fic #minho fic #minho fanfic #minho smut #lee minho smut

[sunflowerkiwis]

Forever WAG

charles leclerc x reader - part three summary: big news come from you and charles and the fans finally find the answers they've been looking for... feedback is appreciated + requests are open! enjoy xx

part one | part two | part three | part four

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 1,233,467 others

charles_leclerc i love you so much, i don’t even know where to start. for five years, we’ve been here for each other. through ups and downs, you’ve loved me. you’ve dealt with me in my toughest times and in my peaks. you give me the strength i need to get through life and you love me each day no matter what.

here’s to our forever, ma précieuse and my future Mme Leclerc

tagged: yourusername

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yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, yourbestfriend, and 1,217,846 others

yourusername 🎶it’s been a long time coming, but…🎶 here’s our engagement party🤍♥️

words simply cannot describe the ecstasy i feel knowing you’re the one i’ll spend my forever with.

tagged: charles_leclerc

view all comments

danielricciardo i wonder who chose that cake😂😂

redbullracing oh no… we’ve lost her😔

user02 CONGRATUALTIONS OMGGGG (but that last slide-)

user04 fr, who’s gonna tell them the honeymoon is AFTER the wedding

liked by danielricciardo, pierregasly, georgerussell63 and others

user02 not the whole grid coming after them💀💀

yourbestfriend i guess it’s safe to say you won…

yourusername told ya

user06 ????

user54 okay so charles is gonna write her a whole thought out paragraph and she’s just gonna sit there taking pictures and quote taylor swift…?

user26 what exactly do you gain from sending this?

user54 i’m just saying, don’t think he should be marrying someone who doesn’t appreciate him as much as he does them

user40 babe… where have you been the past five years…

scuderiaferrari our parents🥹🥹

liked by charles_leclerc and yourusername

user36 OMG CONGRATULATIONS I TOLD YALL I CALLED IT OMG YAYYY

liked by yourusername

user08 none of us… none of us believed u and now 🥲🥲

yourmomsinsta congrats my babies 🥰🥰

user22 omg i completely forgot momma yln see these posts. yn your poor mother

liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, and others

georgerussell63

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, and 1,113,786 others

georgerussell it was a pleasure to help with this amazing day, congrats you fools🫶🫶

yn and charles - 26.05.26

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pierregasly hey, i helped too

georgerussell63 you’re literally the best man

charles_leclerc thank you so much mate (but also ow)

yourusername we love you too stupid &lt;3

user84 you just know mans had a whole powerpoint made for them 💀

liked by georgerussell63, yourusername, and charles_leclerc

~ 8 months later ~

yourusername

liked by yourbestfriend, charles_leclerc, and 1,749,837 others

yourusername she would’ve made such a lovely bride, what a shame she’s fucked in the head (the bride was in fact drunk) 🤍💍

tagged: yourbestfriend, yourfriend1, yourfriend2, yourfriend3, yourfriend4

view all comments

charles_leclerc wow

charles_leclerc hot

danielricciardo you can stay there while i bleach my eyes 🙂🙂

charles_leclerc pls come back :(

pierregasly ouch

carlossainz55 ouch

georgerussell63 ouch

maxverstappen1 ouch

yourusername that's crazy

user24 queen energy right there👑

danielricciardo pls don’t

yourusername 🫥

yourbestfriend my wife😍😍

carlossainz55 🤨🤨

yourusername my darling🥰🥰

charles_leclerc 🤨🤨

yourfriend1 five gorgeous gorgeous girls and a goddess of a bride🫶

liked by yourusername

yourbestfriend babe 🤍

liked by yourusername

yourfriend3

liked by yourusername, yourbestfriend, and 405,678 others

yourfriend3 girls’ weekend with the future mrs. leclerc

tagged: yourusername

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charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 1,624,104 others

charles_leclerc bachelor’s weekend (two can play this game😉)

tagged: yourusername

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user52 the tag💀

user96 he rlly saw yn thirst trapping and said nonono😭

yourusername damn

yourusername now that’s just mean

charles_leclerc 😉

user58 he took my wife and i can’t even complain

yourbestfriend right??? @yourusername you rlly left us for a banana man????

yourusername what can i say? i like bananas ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

yourbestfriend yeah, HIS

liked by yourusername

user60 💀💀

pierregasly

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername, and 1,119,036 others

pierregasly a wild charles enjoying his last few moments of freedom

tagged: charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc

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yourusername that guy in the middle’s pretty handsome but i will say, that fella on the far left is my favorite

arthur_leclerc he is pretty great isn’t he👀

pierregasly what about the one on the right

yourusername meh

charles_leclerc you two do realize she’s marrying ME right?

liked by yourusername

sebastianvettel enjoy it while you can

yourusername i’m telling your wife

charles_leclerc handsome guy in those last two photos

yourusername hot.

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, yourbestfriend, and 1,245,634 others

yourusername you can’t outdo the doer, baby &lt;3

tagged: yourbestfriend, charles_leclerc

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user94 them tagging each other and trying to out thirst trap one another is something that probably should’ve been on my bingo card this year

user10 the way it’s like a competition but they still only comment on each others posts to thirst over the other 😭

charles_leclerc it’s always worth the thrill😉

landonorris i’ve refrained from interfering, but i’d like to remind you that there are children and parents here

yourusername babe did you forget to drop him off at daycare again

charles_leclerc i thought you were doing it?

yourusername honey, i’m not back until a few days remember?

charles_leclerc i’m sorry chéri, force of habit. @landonorris get ready, we have to leave soon

landonorris 😐

carlossainz55 yn, vale, can i have my girlfriend back

yourusername she was mine first, wait your turn pepper boy

yourbestfriend

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, and 1,129,357 others

yourbestfriend happy wife, happy life ep 1: girls’ post-bachelorette party bachelorette weekend getaway ✨🫶

tagged: yourusername

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user58 yn always serves like that second pic????

user92 these two being couple goals and serving per usual

charles_leclerc lovely♥️

carlossainz55 you look gorgeous querida❤️ both of you. can you please come back now 🥲

charles_leclerc i second that

yourusername no :)

yourbestfriend the bride has spoken

- tags <3 -

@luciaexcorvus @roseseraj

#f1 grid x reader #f1 x reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x yn #charles leclerc x female reader #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 #f1 smau #charles leclerc smau #hornyonthemainitis

[daydreaming-nerd]

The Bonds That Break Us (Rhysand x Female! Reader) Part 2

Part 1 , Part 3 , Part 4, Part 5 , Part 6, Final Part

Request: "Would you do a Rhysand x fem!reader series? Maybe fem!reader is Rhysand's mate and Tamlin's sister? So secret love?"

AN: omg guys the love part 1 received has been so amazing. I seriously am so happy you're all loving this fic as much as me. As someone who hasn't written in so long it's been so fufilling to write this. Thank you for all the kind words. Please feel free to leave a comment! Hearing your guy's feedback is what motivates me to write!

Summary: It was almost as if the cauldron liked to play games, as if it had sensed years of boredom and predictability and begged to be entertained. Its method of absolving its melancholy? Mate the High Lord of the Night Court to the younger sister of the High Lord of Spring. 

Warnings (so far): SA, starting to get a little steamy

Word count: 2704

(all photos are from pinterest)

The next morning I woke with a certain lightness to my step that I knew shouldn’t be there. My hands skimmed over the countless dresses looking for just the right one. All of the sudden I had started caring more about my appearance for council meetings. Deep down I know why. 

I meet my brother and Lucien in the foyer per usual, and I feel Lucien’s fiery gaze rake over the lavender chiffon draped over my body. I told myself that I had selected the revealing dress because of how hot the Day court was, but I think I had other motives backing my choice. 

The Day Court, like all other courts, was utterly beautiful. Large pillars stood all around and like the summer court it was entirely open air, allowing the sunlight and breeze to float into the room. I sit between Lucien and Tamlin at a large table with the other High Lord’s and nobility. My eyes scan the room for a hint of that violet that I dreamt about last night but I don’t find it. It isn’t until a few minutes later, when my skin starts buzzing, that the High Lord of Night steps into the room. His presence commending, his eyes immediately finding mine. 

I feel him pluck at the bond as if to say hello. After speaking to him through my mind for so long it was almost strange to see him in real life. Somehow he was always much more handsome in person. Like no matter how many times I tried to put together the image of his face at night it never compares to the sheer glory and presence of him. 

As Helion began speaking a voice crawled into my head. 

I’m glad you find me so glorious, darling.

“Shh you nosey High Lord. I’m trying to listen,” I silence him and to my  surprise he obliges.  

Helion talks on and on and of course there is arguing between Kallias and Beron as there usually is but I couldn’t begin to tell you what about. I spend the entire meeting noticing every move the High Lord of Night made. When he breathed, or flexed his hands, adjusted his spot on his seat. Whenever I felt his eyes sliding over to me I would do my best to evade them. 

See something you like? I look over to him and find his eyes smirking. 

“Yeah actually, Eris is looking especially delicious today,” I tease, I don’t break eye contact with him. 

He chuckles brushing off my comment. You’re a vision in purple mate, but if Lucien looks at your cleavage one more time I might just leap across the table and rip his only good eye out. 

“So violent,” I muse disapprovingly, looking towards where Kallias is speaking about potential war with Hybern.

I save my most brutal acts of violence for those who seek to harm you darling. My eyes flit back at him and a smile tugs at the corners of his lips as he averts his gaze back to Kallias. 

“Enough talk of war my friends, let us adjourn this meeting until next week.” Helion finally says, causing the rest of the council to let out a breath. 

Tamlin doesn’t say a word before he and Lucien stand and make a beeline to Tarquin, most likely to talk about problems we’ve been having on the border. I take it as my queue to walk around the Day Court’s terrace and I secretly hope that a certain High Lord follows me. 

The Day Court and the Summer Court are like twin sisters. Except the Day Court always felt like liquid gold. All around me I could see clouds and honeyed sunlight peeking through the them. The rays warmed my skin as I basked in them, leaning against one of the many large pillars. 

“I knew you’d look amazing in this light,” drawled that voice I had secretly wanted to hear. 

I glance over to find The High Lord admiring me, the light of the Day Court doing wonders for him as well. “You shouldn’t be here,” I say, trying to act like I mean it. 

“Yet you wanted me to follow you,” he smirks knowingly, slowly stepping towards me. 

“What makes you say that?” 

“This,” he says, pulling on the bond again. I take a sharp breath in and he chuckles. “I’ll never get tired of that reaction.”

“I really hate it when you do that,” I grumble. 

“No you don’t,” he muses using one arm to cage me into the pillar I’m leaning against. 

“Yes I do,” I affirm. His other hand lifts my chin to meet his stare. 

“No you don’t, you don’t hate anything about me. In fact you think I’m beautiful,” he smirks, somehow stepping even closer to me. “And, you want me to touch you right now, your skin is practically on fire for it.” 

“My Lord-” 

“I told you to call me Rhysand,” he cuts me off. I want to lie and tell him no, I want to push him away but I fear that even the action of me touching his chest, even for a moment, would be too much for me to bear. 

“Rhys,” I breathe out. Before I can even think his lips are on mine swallowing the breath that held his name, just like he promised.  

The kiss is hot and needy, built up from the last two weeks of torture. One of his hands finds my face while the other finds my waist. His frame presses me into the pillar behind me. I feel my body ignite in a way I didn’t know possible, I need him closer. I pull on the lapels of his jacket earning a low grumble from him. 

“Say it again,” he says between kisses. 

“Rhysand,” I moan, his name like a prayer on my lips. 

“Fuck,” he groans before sliding a hand down under my knee and hoisting it up to wrap around his waist. The slit in my dress parted for him, giving him full access to my bare leg. I feel his lips drag across my neck leaving opened mouth kisses on me. I practically come undone for him, the only thing keeping me upright are his hands and the pillar behind me. 

In the distance I can hear footsteps clicking across the floor, in a panic I winnow both of us further away. He breaks apart the kiss and gives me a bewildered look. 

“Sorry, someone was coming,” I say breathlessly. 

“Let them see,” he grins before stepping closer to me. I take a step back and he halts his movements, surprised. 

“We can’t, my brother will kill me, kill you.” I remind him. 

He lets out a chuckle like he’s completely unphased, “I promise you that I hold more power in my pinky than Tamilin does in his entire body.”  he boasts. 

“Still,” I start. “You’re the High Lord of the Night Court, his sworn enemy, my court's sworn enemy. Think of what they would say about me if the truth came out. What they would say about you. You’d be the monster who stole away the princess of spring.” I ramble. 

“I’ve been called a monster by those who know nothing but stories of me my whole life, what’s one more?” he states. 

“I’ve heard stories of your court, that it’s the part of Prythian where the most feared monsters and beings of our kind reside,” I say fearfully. I start to remember who he is. Not just a pretty face, but the High Lord of the Night Court. He’s dangerous, and he is a monster. 

“Part of that is true,” he affirms, and I can see a tinge of hurt in his eyes. 

“And the other part?” I ask on bated breath. 

“You’ll see soon enough mate,” he says. 

“My Lord we cannot be together,” I state firmly. 

“Back to formalities now are we?” he sighs. “I’ve waited 500 years to find my mate y/n, don’t think for one second that I’m going to stay away from you just because you’re afraid of that pathetic excuse for a brother.” 

“He’s not pathetic, he loves me!” I growl. 

“You don’t know half the things you think you do about your brother,” he sneered. 

As much as I hated to admit it he was right. Tamlin and I had never truly been close. We hardly ever did anything together. I always sensed a darkness in him that I couldn’t place. There was so much he simply refused to tell me just because I was a woman. But I couldn't bear that truth to Rhys, not when I needed his silence. 

“This conversation is over,” I huff before walking away, I feel him grasp my arm. 

“No darling it’s not,” Rhys says with frustration in his eyes. 

“Wanna bet?” I ask smugly before winnowing back to the Spring Court. 

The next few days I don’t hear from Rhysand, and I don’t feel a tug on the bond. All of the sudden my life is filled with a sense of melancholy, I never had before. I had grown so used to his constant tugging on the bond or his remarks throughout my daily life that I felt a little empty without him.  

So empty that I now found myself nudging around the food on my plate at dinner. Lucien had been out with the emissary of the Summer Court fixing the problems on the border, which meant it was just me and Tamlin. 

We spend the whole meal in silence until he finally breaks it, “I have something I want to discuss with you,” he says, placing his napkin down on the table. 

“What is it?” I ask, starting to wonder if maybe he saw me and Rhysand the other day. 

“I’ve been talking with Beron Vanserra, and it seems that his eldest son Eris has taken a liking to you. We think it might be in the best interest of our two courts if you two were to marry.” he says casually, as if the words weren’t a huge punch to the gut. 

“What?” I breathe in disbelief. 

“Come on y/n this has always been our plan, to get you an advantageous marriage.” he reminds me, irritation laced in his voice. 

“Not my plan Tamlin, yours.” I seethe. “Eris is a viper, I won’t marry him.” 

“You’ll do as you're told and that’s final!” he screams slamming his fists down on the table making the silverware rattle. 

I leave my plate full of food on the table and get up. If I wasn’t hungry before I certainly am not now. I leave the dining room and make sure to slam the door on my way out. The halls of the palace were dark save for the moonlight drifting through the windows. My mind was a mess of Tamlin’s words, I was so angry I could hardly think beyond it. At the end of the hall there was a door and even from where I was I could see the doorknob turning. A head of red hair popped through the door and Lucien stumbled to close it.

 I kept my head down trying to avoid him but it was no use. The second he passed me his hands were on me shoving me into the nearest wall. 

“Hello my flower,” he slurred. 

“You’re drunk Lucien,” I pointed out, jerking my head away. 

“Yes I suppose I am, the emissary for the summer court knows how to celebrate. We went to a tavern after completing the job on the border to indulge in some women and maybe a few drinks,” he chuckled. 

“Yeah a few hundred drinks you fucking idiot,” I gripe trying to get out of his grasp but his hands only pin my wrists tighter.

“It was fun, but being around all those women made me long for my little flower,” he smiled drunkenly before kissing my neck. 

For months now he’s been doing this, stealing touches whenever he could, and kissing my neck like this when he was feeling really bold, or in this case, drunk. He never took it further than that though. Never kissing, never fully fucking me, and I think it’s because he knew that it would be where Tamilin drew the line. But tonight he was drunk, in a way I had never seen him before, and I wasn’t sure if the line that had held for so many months would be held now. 

“Get the fuck off me Lucien,” I growl trying to push him off again. 

He completely ignores me, “You know my dear I’ve let my hands wander every expanse of this magnificent body, but I have yet to taste you,” he says lowly. “I think I’m going to change that.” 

I don’t even get a chance to try and fight before his lips are on mine. He tastes like shitty whiskey and he smells like cheap perfume. It’s vile and it has me sick to my stomach. I find my opening to rip my lips off him and take it. 

“Lucien what the fuck!” I scream in his face. His eyes just go down to my heaving chest, where my breasts are pushed up high due to my corset. 

“And these,” he drawls before placing open mouth kisses on the peaks of my breasts. His hand lets go of my wrist and flies to my waist to pull me closer to him and I take the change of position as an opportunity to knee him between his legs. 

His knees hit the ground and I run down the hall towards my room. I slam and lock the door as fast as possible, barricading myself in with a chair. I pace back and forth trying to dispel the pent up adrenaline that’s inside of me but in the end I sink to my knees and start to cry. 

What happened?

That calming voice cleaves its way through my mind and it feels like a huge weight off my chest has been lifted. 

“It was Lucien he tried to…” I let my voice trail off not even wanting to finish the sentence. I know the High Lord of Night is at the complete other end of Prythian but I swear I feel the ground beneath me tremble. 

Did he? He asks, like he would winnow here right now and make due on his promise of ripping out his good eye. 

“No, I fought him off,” I assure him.

Are you safe? 

“As safe as I can be, I barricaded the door,”  I say, as my heart rate calms down. 

You shouldn’t have to live in a place where you have to barricade yourself in your room.

“Well I do so I’m handling it the best I can,” I gripe at him. I would gladly change the situation if I could but I can’t. There's a silence and I can feel him ruminating over my words as I crawl into bed. 

I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said it like that. 

“It’s okay I understood what you meant,” I say pulling the covers up to my chin like they might protect me. 

And I’m sorry for what I said about Tamlin. I shouldn’t have gotten angry with you, he’s your brother, of course you’re going to defend him.

“It’s okay, maybe everything you said about Tamlin wasn’t entirely false,” I confess remembering the conversation that had me fleeing the dining room in the first place. 

What happened? 

A moment passes and I think about telling him. But saying it almost makes it real and I choose not to, “I’d rather not talk about it now. Too much has happened tonight,” I say

Alright we won’t then. I sense disappointment in his voice but I am happy that he respects my wishes. 

“Rhys?”I ask, and there’s a hesitation there. 

Yes darling? He purrs and I can hear him practically swooning at the fact that I said his name.

“I don’t wanna be alone, will you stay up with me?” I confess feeling like I’m baring my soul. 

Of course I will darling, all night if you want me to.

Taglist: @heyyitsnat21 , @cheshire-salvatore-mikaelson , @randomperson1234sblog , @local-fangirl09 , @bleh-81 , @annaaaaa88

(I've never made a taglist so hopefully this works)

#rhys acotar #rhysand #rhysand x reader #rhysand x reader smut #rhysand angst #rhysand fluff #rhysand x y/n #rhysand acotar

[writingsfromhome]

If you Love Something

A/N: this has been an idea sitting in my drafts for a while. You and Harry had a brief but intense relationship as teenagers, were forced to make a serious decision then, and it’s aftereffects have lingered for the rest of your lives. It deals with some heavier topics so read with caution (alcoholism, depression, unwanted pregnancy etc). I’d describe it as sad but hopeful.

Part 2

—————————————

Age 17.

It started in secret. We’d found each other on the roof of a house party. Truth be told, I saw him sneak out of the window where people were crowded around the TV watching some controversial music video I hadn’t heard about. And I’d followed.

I knew who Harry was. Had him in English, Maths, and Biology last year. He was well spoken, thoughtful, and silly. I never spoke to him once though. Only admired him from afar.

Tonight I had my first drink and then another. I was feeling buzzed and despite being painfully shy for most of the time I’d known everyone here, I was suddenly gripped by the realization that we were approaching the last year we would all be together. Why had I waited this long to pursue someone I thought was cute?

I snuck out after him, when my friends weren’t looking. I even tilted the window more closed than usual so no one would suspect anything; I had the attic room at home so I knew how to maneuver the angled roof to get comfortable.

“You need any help?” Harry’s voice is clear in the silence.

“I’m alright.” I stand up to peer at him. He’s climbed near the top.

“Sure? You don’t seem steady.”

“Oh I’m steady,” I prove it to him by climbing up to where he was. “See?”

“I’m mistaken. My bad.” He holds out a hand to help me sit beside him and the night sky flashes brighter for an instant when I grasp his hand. My stomach is in knots.

“Harry. Styles.” I don’t know why I say his full name but I was nervous.

He repeats my full name back to me. I don’t know why I’m surprised he knows it. It’s not like we went to a big school.

“What brings you out here?”

I try to be bold about it, “You?”

“Party was getting too much.” He says. I stare at him in confusion while he complains about something his friends had gotten up to.

I replay my answer and realized it sounded like I’d skipped answering his question and asked the question back. Bugger.

“You know my name.” I interrupt him, forgetting he was telling me a story. Awkward.

“Yeah? Of course I do.”

“We’ve never talked.”

“We talked. Once in Maths. We had to grade each other’s answers.”

Oh yeah. I burn when I remember the 4/10 he’d given me with a smiley face saying that maths was masochistic.

“Barely.”

“I know you though,” he says with a softness that makes my heart stutter.

“Do you?” I look to him, resting my chin on my shoulder. He gazes down at me and I swear I could taste the colours around us.

His eyes draw me deeper as he inches closer. Was he going to kiss me? Oh my god.

I look back out to the roof and he jerks away. Omg.

“I do.”

“Oh,” I don’t know what to do after that awkward moment.

“I know you’re really quiet and shy but your smile is so loud you can see it from across the room.” He says and my breath catches as he continues. “You’re yourself with your friends, you really like Harry Potter and field hockey. You would kill Mal Adams if you could get away with it and you hate Maths just as much as you love art. You’re dating Oli Graves but your smile is only ever shining half as bright when you’re around him. Can I go on?”

I stop breathing completely halfway through his declaration of knowing me. All this time I had my eye on him, I didn’t know he was watching me too.

“I didn’t ask you for your opinion on my relationship.”

“You didn’t. I didn’t give you one either.”

I glare at him. He was right. He smiles knowing he was. I’m mad that I’m not mad at him. That he was right.

“What are you doing with a guy like that?”

Oli and I had been dating for 7 months now. He was loud and fun in a way I wish I could be. That’s why I liked him so much. That’s why I was at a party like this to begin with.

“He’s a good guy.”

“That’s all?” He asks. I look over but he’s looking up at the sky. I follow his gaze and get lost in the great expanse of nighttime.

“I think you deserve someone who sees you. Don’t you?”

“Did Ally see you?” I ask with a hint of aggression I didn’t mean to have.

“Ally and I broke up during Easter. So there’s your answer.” He’s unbothered.

“Well what do you want?” I ask.

“Right now? Or in life?”

I shrug. “Both?”

“I want to explore the world and meet all kinds of people. I wanna make the world a better place by being in it. It’s cheesy as shit so if you ever said I said this I’ll deny it and you’ll look like-“

“My lips are sealed.” I turn his way to promise him that. It makes me laugh at how serious he looks saying it all and when I do his face relaxes.

“You laugh is nice too. I forgot to mention that.”

That quiets me very quickly.

“And right now,” he continues. “I’d really like to kiss you.”

My ears ring. Did I hear him right? Could you get so drunk you hallucinate? I swear the cold air had sobered me-

“Did you hear what I said?” Harry’s moved in closer to me. Did I? I don’t know.

“What d-“

“I’d like to kiss you.”

I nod, afraid to talk and realize I’d hallucinated him saying that.

The world melts away when he kisses me. It’s tender, nothing like Oli and his jagged pushy kissing. In the nighttime air it’s warm, and soft, and easy.

“I know you,” Harry says when we part. I’d nearly climbed into his lap and I try to edge away, embarrassed, but he keeps a hand firm on my thigh.

“I know you too Harry,” I breathe. He smiles and it crinkles his luscious eyes.

I think I was falling.

***

We keep it a secret after I break up with Oli. For months, until mid-August when I invite him over for dinner after my mom insists on meeting “the boy I was all doe-eyed over”. The night with my family goes so well—Harry is the picture of a courteous gentleman that even my sister is swayed by him despite saying boys were gross. I ask him to hang out, in public, the next day. He doesn’t hesitate to say yes.

That’s what I love about Harry—yes love. He’s not pushy, he lets me go at my own pace. He respects me and sees me for everything I am and loves me anyway. I wanted to spend my whole life with him.

It was so intense and relaxed at the same time. It felt like no relationship I’d been in before. I felt different being with him, even my friends noticed.

When final year started, Harry and I were official but we didn’t flaunt it. We didn’t need to. My friends knew about us and they were happy for us, they told me I was more me. Whatever that meant.

Life was phenomenal and I was living in a dusky haze. Nothing could touch us.

Until one day in February. I was out with my sister, mum didn’t want to take her out and since I recently got my driver’s license with plenty of lessons from Harry, I was driving her to the mall. She needed Valentine’s Day cards.

“I thought you said love is stupid.” I remind her on the way.

“It is.”

“So why the hell am I driving you to buy cards for a made up holiday?”

“Because!” She crosses her arms and stares out the window. I flick her arm at a red light.

“You have a crush.”

“I do not!”

“Do too. Who is it? James? Mattie? Hamid?”

“Ew! They’re freaks.” My sister continues staring out the window.

“Why do you want to buy cards so bad!?”

“I just want them! For my friends!”

“Okay then,” I didn’t believe her. But I couldn’t bring her home crying or mum would ground me.

A lot of places have slim pickings. Wandering the aisle of Waterstones I catch sight of a family friend. She was my dad’s uni friend’s daughter, a few years older than me but by the time I got to secondary she had dropped out after getting pregnant. I remember the buzz when everyone found out.

I avoid her and find an aisle to occupy myself.

Harry and I were always careful, mum had already given me the talk and he never pressured me to do anything I didn’t. I imagine Harry as a dad. He would make a good one I think.

As one thought leads to another I go cold as I realize something. My last period was during the holidays.

I feel like I’m walking in a swarm of locusts as I walk to the edge of the aisle, scanning for my sister. Maybe I can pop into a pharmacy before she’s done. Maybe…

This was crazy. It was probably just a missed period.

But if it isn’t, another voice asks. I felt it in my gut. I had to do this.

I don’t remember getting home. I don’t remember anything about the rest of that day except two faint lines, and then two faint lines again, and a third time. I fall asleep before dinner that night and shut the world out.

***

“I know something’s wrong.” Harry’s walking me home after school. It’s Valentine’s Day and he’d been nothing but sweet. He bought me chocolates, flowers, and we planned to cook dinner together after school. I had bought him chocolates too, and had written him a heartfelt note with a bunch of photos of us weeks ago. The box was in my room, waiting for tonight. “Do you not like the flowers? Or is it dinner? We can go out somewhere instead?”

“No everything’s lovely.” I’d never heard Harry this desperate before. It gets under my skin even though part of me knows that’s not really it. But having him hover over me all week trying to figure out what was wrong was too much.

I’d spent every night this week with a hand over my belly. Thinking about it. I hadn’t told anyone. I didn’t know what I wanted to do. All I can think of was Jenny and I didn’t want that life. I couldn’t. I couldn’t be a mother.

“Please. What’s the matter.” Harry asks again, tugging at my hands but I pull them away.

“I just need some space!” I shout and he flinches. “I’m sorry Harry. I just need space right now.”

“Right now like…” he scratches his head. “I don’t get you. It’s Valentine’s Day, we’ve been talking about this day for weeks what do you mean you want space?”

“I can’t do this right now. Please.”

“Are you-are we…”

“I’m not breaking up with you.” I look at Harry with tears in my eyes, I didn’t want to cry out here. But every time I look at him I remember the reality. What’s growing inside me. I can’t take it. “I just can’t do today.”

I go inside my house. Leave him without further explanation. I feel awful, I can’t hold the tears in long enough to get to my room.

***

“Hey love?” My mum and dad knock on my door at half past 5. I lay in the dark, having cried myself dry. “We’re worried about you. Can we talk.”

“I can’t.” I say, voice stuffy.

“I thought you and that boyfriend of yours had plans,” dad says. He liked Harry but he rarely called him by his name. “Did something happen?”

“No!” I wanted them to leave me alone. “I just. I had to cancel. I’m fine.”

“Don’t sound fine to me love,” I feel the mattress dip as mum sits down. Dad strokes my hair. They whisper something I can’t hear and a pair of footsteps pad out of my room.

“Mum just leave me alone.” I try again.

“I’m not.” She pushes me further into my bed and leans down, tugging my blanket down. When I finally look at her she smiles kindly and kisses my forehead. That fills me up enough to start wailing again. “Oh love, what’s wrong?”

“Everything!” I sob into my blanket. Mom lays down beside me and I let myself be cradled like a child. God, I had a child. This was so fucked.

“Talk to me. We can figure it out together.”

I don’t know how my parents would react. They were never particularly strict, especially after what happened with Jenny I remember them always being sympathetic. We even visited her in hospital with a gift.

Mum strokes my hair and whispers that it’ll be okay. Slowly my sobbing eases into light sniffles. I had to tell her. She would know what to do. And if she hated me for it, I would just have to deal with it.

“Mum don’t be mad-“

“I won’t honey I-“

“No. Mum.” I cut her off. She moves back on the pillow so she can see my whole face, moving a strand of hair so I couldn’t hide. “Something…messed up. Happened. And…I was careful. We were always careful I don’t know what happened but I-“

I watch her face changed. Like she knew. She knew what was coming but she waits patiently as I muster up the courage to say the words that felt too real once I said them.

“Mum I’m…I’m pregnant.”

Her eyes fill with tears and she bites her lip. What was she thinking? Was she crying for me or with me? Why wasn’t she saying anything!?

“Mum-“

“C’mere.” She wraps me in her embrace again and kisses the top of my head. My body feels drained and limp. I finally told somebody. It was real. This living thing inside of me was real.

“What happened?” She asks next. And I tell her what I think happened. When. How I found out. She listens, holding my hand in hers. When I’m done and it’s poured out of me she smiles supportively. “This isn’t a bad thing okay? It’s okay. Any decision you make is up to you. I’ll talk to your dad but just know you call the shots okay? I love you.”

This is what carries me. The love.

She asks me it I told Harry yet and I tell her the truth. She urges me to tell him. I tell her I wanted to so bad but I was scared.

She leaves shortly after that, I hear her talking softly outside my room. Nobody calls me for dinner until 7, a soft knock on my door. My sister would never be so soft, I assume it’s dad so I tell him to come in. I was scared to face him.

It’s Harry instead.

“Harry!” I cover my splotchy face with my blanket, why was he here? Did mum invite him? This was soo embarrassing.

My heart pounds and Harry is silent until he takes a seat where mum had previously been.

“I came over, your mum invited me. She explained.”

She did what? For a moment I feel betrayed.

“She said you weren’t doing so well. Stressed? I could make you some tea if you’d like. But I told you y/n, you’ll get into unis. You don’t have to worry so…”

I sigh. Mum had told him a half-truth. But he had come. Of course he had.

I couldn’t even think about uni right now because that lead me down a road of what if I couldn’t go because I had a baby. And that life felt so bleak it made me depressed.

“Harry.” I inch my blanket down a little and his eyes go round when he looks at me.

“You look…awful.”

“I know.” I cover my face with my hair but he brushes it away and kisses my forehead.

“No. I’m worried about you. I brought dinner-“

“Oh Harry.” I spot the bag he brought with him.

“I made it all for us. With my mum’s help but mostly me. I packed it to bring to you.”

I didn’t deserve him. And I had to tell him. And he was going to break up with me. What high school boy wanted a child?

“Harry it’s not uni.” I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I was carrying another living thing. It was the size of a seed but I was carrying it inside me. Like a living breathing pot. I was a potted plant.

“Then what is it?” His brows crinkle. “Is it us?”

“No!” I rush to tell him. “I…I don’t know how to say this. And I don’t know how you’re going to react but it’s okay either way.”

“What are you talking about?” His hands slide up my lap. “What is it?”

“Harry. I’m um, I’m pregnant.”

I watch him freeze and stay exactly how he is, his brows pinch ever so slightly. I knew this look. He looked still on the outside but his mind was racing. And I was scared what was racing through it.

“Pregnant?”

“Yeah. From…the holidays.”

“How did-I thought we-“

“I guess it’s not foolproof.” I whisper. Mum had told me to go on the pill, and I hadn’t listened because all my friends told me it made them gain weight. If only I had listened. Now I was gaining weight anyway.

“What are we going to do?” He asks next. And I never realized six little words could weigh the world. If I could cut those words out and surgically implant them into my heart I would. Just to remind me the equal parts relieved and comforted they made me.

I hold his face in my hands, new tears springing to my eyes. He was in this. With me.

He kisses me and pulls me into a hug. I cry into his shirt again and he holds me so tight I swear I could break.

“I don’t know if I can keep it Harry,” I finally whisper to him.

His hands fist in my shirt, he holds his breath and after a long minute he lets me go with it.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Was he really okay with all this?

“It’s…I can’t make you keep it.”

“You’d want to keep it?” I couldn’t believe it.

“It’s…” he swallows his sentence and keeps his gaze on my stomach. I tug his hand and lay it over it. When his eyes meet mine I see a hint of heartbreak. We were going to break our hearts either way I think.

Not once did I think he might want to keep it.

“It’s okay.” Harry finally says. “We’re so young right? How would we keep a baby and go to school, and do everything we always talk about?”

“Yeah I don’t…I don’t know.”

“I love you.” He says with such a sudden passion. I wrap my arms around his and return the sentiment.

Eventually we lay down and just talk about everything. Truthfully, my head was telling me not to keep the baby but everything else felt dead thinking about it.

Maybe that’s why it took me until April to finally make a decision. It was the size of a plum by then, and a tiny bump was starting to show but only when I stood naked in front of the mirror. With clothes on, nobody was the wiser. But the longer I kept it, I think the more Harry fell in love with it. The idea of it.

We have a long talk during our Easter holiday. We talked in my bedroom until the sun comes up. I tell him I was sure of my decision.

I’d gotten accepted to Cambridge by then. Harry was staying in London. We knew it wasn’t feasible. To live the life we always wanted, we had to get rid of this new life we never knew could happen.

I don’t know why but I don’t tell him the day I go to do it. I go with my mum. Mum drops my sister off at school—she didn’t know. Mum said she had a big mouth.

We drive in silence. When we park mum asks how I feel.

“Sad.” It was the truth. I knew this was right. But it felt like shite.

“Yeah.” She rubs my hands. “Want to go in?”

“I just want to sit here for a bit.” I tell her.

“Okay. I’ll go sign you in.”

She takes my purse and hers and leaves me there. I take the moment to ground myself. Say goodbye to the other future.

When mum knocks on my window I jump.

“Yn? Is everything alright?”

“Yeah yeah I’m coming in.” I open the door.

“You know you’ve been sitting here half hour?”

I pause, one leg out the door and one still in. “I…I must have got lost in my head. Sorry mum-“

“Look. Do you want to do this?”

“I don’t know…I have to.”

“There are other options love-“

“But how can I give it up and live my whole life like that?”

“We can help raise her. You can go on and live your life-“

“I’d be a horrible mother.” Mum and I had this row so many times before. It always ended in me storming away but I couldn’t here.

“You don’t need to make the decision today.”

“But I do.” I tell her. “Otherwise it’ll drive me insane.”

I tuck both feet back into the car and rest my hand on my belly. I’d allowed myself to do that only in my room, when I was alone. Doing it out here made it feel even more real. Suddenly I couldn’t imagine going through with the decision.

“I can’t do this.” I tell my mum.

She smooths my hair down and kisses my temple. My door closes and a few seconds later she climbs in beside me.

“Think about it.”

“I can’t. But I can’t keep it either.”

“Okay.” Mum pulls me into her and I think I should cry but I can’t. I’m calm, maybe I know I’d made the right decision. Or just a decision. I was going to stick to this.

“I can’t raise it. I’m just a child I…maybe someone out there wants a baby and can’t have one maybe-“

“I’ll look into it for you.” Mum promises. “You set the rules remember?”

And that’s how it goes. Mum looks into it, we decide to go for adoption. We go to the hospital on the first warm day of the year. By then I’d taken to wearing jumpers over flowy dresses and been thankful for the first time in my life that I wasn’t skinny like other girls. At most angles you couldn’t tell my belly was so perfectly round.

By then too, Harry had accepted the decision. He seemed relieved. Thinking aloud he’d said maybe he could raise it, but quickly turned around when I asked him what he’d do about uni.

“Someone out there can take care of it better than us. Someone will love the baby like we do.”

During the summer, I tell all my friends I was staying with family in midlands. And I do go up there, that’s where the couple who was adopting lived. Harry and I meet them with my mum and his. It’s awkward, we run out of conversation fast. But their house is big and they already have a 2 year old from an adoption last year. My baby was going to be loved here. And have a sibling.

“We did want to discuss one last thing,” they’d said before we left. We all listen intently. “We…find it best when it’s a no contact adoption. We’ve had a lot of friends who keep contact open and it gets messy-“

“What?” I hadn’t really thought about this until now. Hearing I’d have to give the baby up and go on like it didn’t exist felt wrong. Harry’s hand slips into mine.

“This is typical,” Harry’s mum says from his side. “Let’s hear it out.”

“Right. So just to prevent future complications, we do no contact. Of course when baby’s older and wants to seek out the real parents we can’t stop them. But until then…”

“Thank you.” My mum steps in when it goes silent. I could hardly wrap my head around what they were saying. When it gets older?

Pretty soon mum is ushering me out and Harry’s hand is still clutching mine. We don’t let go until we reach my Uncle’s where we were staying until August. The baby was due in September. I was going to miss the first week of class.

“I can’t do this.” I tell them later. “How can we just have no contact.”

“I thought you knew.” Mum says. “I explained that some parents want this when they adopt.”

She might have. Ever since I hit the third trimester like my doctor said, I’ve had a hard time listening and understanding what someone was saying after they spoke too long. I was glad school was done—for obvious reasons, but also for not having to sit in a class and learn.

“We have no other choice.” Harry says from beside me. He rubs my back and slowly, I zone back into the conversation. “We can find another family but they might want the same thing.”

“What if the baby never looks for us?” I turn to him, our heads press against the other’s. “What if we go our whole lives just wondering?”

“What’s the other option?” Harry whispers. He was right. I just didn’t want to get it.

Acceptance slowly creeps into me over the course of the summer. It was always hot carrying another person around, I was always hungry and thirsty, and very cranky. Harry came up to see me every other weekend when he could, mum stayed with me and that summer was one I could never forget.

It was September 1st, a particularly hot day. Rain fell in the afternoon and by the time the unforgiving sun set, the cool air was heavenly.

I sat by the bedroom window, moisturizing my belly like mum had shown me, talking to the baby. I wrote it a letter last week all about me, that I loved them and hoped the best for them. I told the baby about my family, how Harry and I met, and then I sealed it in an envelope with a picture of Harry and me. It was taken last Halloween when we’d both dressed up as each other. I tell mum to give it to the new parents. In case the day came the baby wondered about who we were.

As I spoke softly, I felt a gush of something wet down my leg.

“What?” I stand up, confused. “I…”

It takes me a second. I was going into labour.

“Mum!” I shout. “Mum! Come here!”

She rushes in and confirms it. It was happening.

“But it’s supposed to be next week!” I try not to panic but that’s all I can do as mum grabs our things and my aunt rushes to the car. “Does this mean something’s wrong? Is the baby o-“

I freeze as a contraction forces me to fold. I’d felt the kicking and the nausea and everything in between but these. These were a bitch.

Somehow we make it to hospital. Somehow I lay on a bed and push when the doctor tells me to. I nearly pass out. I just wanted Harry here with me. He didn’t know his kid was being born.

With a final push that felt like I was ascending my body and leaving it behind, I hear a wail and I cry. The baby was out, they cried and everything was okay.

“Okay congratulations mummy,” a nurse crouches down to me. “We’re going to clean you and baby up. She’s healthy and looks okay.”

“What?” I can barely see with my hair in my face and the nurses around me. It was a she? I had a baby girl?

We were never told the gender, so we wouldn’t get attached. But I had a baby girl. The nurse just called me mum.

I feel the tears on my cheeks, I was crying too. I try to look around me but a new nurse is talking in hushed voices to the doctor.

“…outside…call…adoption…shouldn’t or….contact-“

“What’s going on?” I can barely get the words out. “What?”

“Oh my love,” suddenly mum’s in the room and things are a bit better. A bit better.

“Mum what’s going on?”

“The baby’s born. The parents are outside they’re going to meet her soon.”

“What?” I look at mum’s face and it’s shining with tears. Why was she crying?

“Oh she’s beautiful love, she’s perfect. But your job’s done now. You should rest.”

“Mum,” I cry. “Where is she? Can’t I hold her?”

“No love,” mum moves my hair out of my face. I feel something break in half inside of me. I couldn’t even hold the baby? The baby girl? Mine and Harry’s baby girl?

“Why? Mum why? I just want to see her-“

“I’m sorry,” mum says through tears. “It’s just the way it is. She’s going to a loving home okay? She’s good. You’re okay.”

I can’t stop crying. I was going to lose her last April and I stopped that but I lost her anyway. My baby, I was never going to see her.

I remember when my sister was born. I was 5 and I was angry she’d taken the attention away. But when I saw her with her perfect toes and angel face I was obsessed with her. I even remember her first steps, she’d taken them at a park with mum and dad and me together. I was never going to know these things about my own baby. I was never going to know her.

I must pass out soon after. I remember waking up to the nurses instructing me about something. I’m half asleep and barely remember what I did when I get up. When I do wake it’s morning and there’s a figure on the chair beside me.

“You’re up.”

Harry. Relief washes over me knowing he’s here.

“Harry they took her,” I tell him.

“I know. I know yn.”

I move aside and he crawls into bed with me. I must look disgusting but he watches me with love brimming in his eyes. I can tell he’s been crying.

“I feel empty,” I whisper. Like someone had carved me out like a pumpkin. Something I’d had with me all year was gone. “How can I just move on? Start uni and all that when I…they just took her.”

“I keep thinking that.” Harry says. “Khalil invited me to a party to meet some blokes from uni and I just sat in my car the whole time. I couldn’t even go in. She…she was never going to be ours.”

“I feel awful.” I burrow into his neck as he strokes my hair. “A baby girl.”

“A baby girl,” Harry echoes.

***

I head to uni a week later. My body still feels like it fought a war and lost. It’s like it still thinks there’s a baby there. I produce milk for a few days, continue to have contractions, my belly is saggier than usual and I can’t stop crying about everything.

My dad drops me off to uni. He tells me he was proud of me, that I was always his baby girl. I cry then just like I cried at home when I said bye to mum, or when my sister hugged me which she never does. I can’t stop crying.

When I move into my dorm I feel like a completely different person than I thought I was going to be. My dormmate fills me in on everything she’s learned, complains about a boy and a party and it just feels so irrelevant to me. Did I used to care about those things? I had a baby. And now I didn’t.

By October, Harry and I are in different worlds. We hadn’t broken up but we talk weekly. Each week there’s less to talk about. When I visit home in October, being around him just makes me sad. He tries to cheer me up, make it like old times, but I know he’s hurting inside too.

I decide to do the breaking up. And at first he’s angry, insisting we could make it work. He actually refuses and walks away. We don’t talk for a whole day.

But at a house party in South where his uni mates were from, he accepts the end.

Through tears we kiss each other one final time, we whisper sweet nothings, we pour into each other all the hopes and wishes we had for each other.

When he hugs me for the last time I leave something behind. It’s similar to waking up the morning after my delivery and knowing something was gone. I really feel the shape of the loss. It sits in my sternum, a hole that grows smaller with time, but not just yet.

I fall into a depressed state for most of my first semester but my dormmate doesn’t give up on me and eventually I go to my first uni party. Eventually my brain fog clears and I actually go to all my classes. Eventually my life, on the outside, looks like it could be back to normal but inside I ache with the loss. So much that it becomes part of me. I don’t know where it ends, and I begin. It lives in me.

Age 23.

“The first of many hey?” Mal clinks his bottle to mine. I barely knew Mal but we were both friends with Khalil and therefore both at his stag.

“Before you know it we’re all going down,” one of Khalil’s friends joins in. “Stag after stag, suit after suit, it’s gonna be a blur man.”

“Let’s enjoy it while we can!” Someone cheers and everyone raises their beers. I toast with a smile; blokes loved to act like being in a relationship was the last thing they wanted when I knew most of them were mush in their girlfriend’s hands.

I also smile knowing I bought an engagement ring a few weeks back. I wanted to propose to Shannon, we met on her 22 when a friend invited me along. I couldn’t keep my eyes off the birthday girl. We’d been together since.

“Who do you think’s next?” The bets start going and nobody bets on me. Everyone always thought Shan was too good for me, they were counting on us breaking up. I was going to prove them all wrong.

The night gets sloppier until we all head back to the air bnb we’d rented for this. Tomorrow we were all supposed to go play golf like we were cosplaying old money bastards when we all knew we were just broke blokes from East. But I guaranteed they’d all be too hungover. We would get to the club and just drink the hangovers away.

And I’m right. I update Shan that I’m right when the boys stay in the dining area of the club. They decide on lunch and I step out to talk to my girlfriend.

“No birds allowed this weekend,” someone pipes in when I excuse myself.

“That’s just cuz you’re miserable Eli.” I brush past as the boys laugh. At me. And him.

I catch up with Shan. It was a bright day for September and I stay a little longer after the phone ends. Shan was in med school, she was always stressed or sleep deprived. I tried to support her the best I could—right now she needed moral support that she was going to get an internship she was applying for.

“Mummy doesn’t like when I have sweets,” a small voice says to my left. I look at a father with his daughter. He’s crouched down zipping her sweater up while she rambles on.

“Well it’s going to be our secret.” The dad says. “Sundays are for sweets aren’t they?”

“I love sweets.” She responds.

The father catches my eye and I shoot him a smile.

“Her mum’s going to hear every detail when we get home,” he says as he stands. “Can’t keep a secret to save her life.”

I laugh. The way she was rambling on, I didn’t think so. “How old’s she?”

“6.” He says, smiling down at her fondly. My heart aches.

“Almost 7.” She corrects her dad.

“Birthday’s in the spring.” He says more to me. “But almost 7 sure.”

I see them leave with one more shared smile, like we’re in on something. I imagine that’s how it would feel to be a parent. Always knowing something your kid doesn’t.

My daughter was 6. Wherever she was.

Thinking about the daughter I never had, the girl I lost always leaves me a little winded. Today’s no different.

Yn and I both made an agreement and it had been the hardest thing I’d done. Letting her go. It took me a proper year to even think about moving on.

I liked to think about yn, doing everything she wanted to do. But when I thought about the baby I spiralled into a dark pit. Sometimes when I drank too much, it pulled me in too deep to get out of. That’s what Shan liked to call my depressive drinking. She’s limited me to 3 drinks since.

Before I go in I take a minute to think about yn, where she might be. I hear from friends in high school random facts about her life. But I wonder how she’s doing. If she thinks about our baby like I do. How life would have been if I’d been here, calling her on the phone instead, asking if our baby girl was doing alright.

Age 29.

I stare at the nape of the man in front of me. It couldn’t be, but I’d memorized the back of his head—amongst other things, nearly 2 decades ago and I would bet £1000 I knew who this was. But I continue staring until the cashier rings him up.

In the same voice I remember, the one from my memories and my fantasies, I hear him say: “debit.”

I wait for him to pay before saying, “Harry?”

He turns so quickly he drops his card, wallet, and keys.

“Hi!” I laugh awkwardly and crouch down to help him pick his things up. There’s an awareness that the people in the queue behind me are witness to a moment that feels more intimate than a grocery store chat and it makes me shrink a little in my shell like a spooked turtle.

“Hi I-uh,” Harry short-circuits in front of me as the bored cashier holds his receipt out and stares at him with eyes that have worked one shift too many.

“I’ll just bag-“

“Yeah we can talk later.” I give him what I hope is a reassuring smile but it feels watery. I couldn’t believe of all the places I’d run into him, it was a grocery queue. How intense in such a mundane place.

As I watch my total rise on screen I risk a glance at Harry. His hand hovers over a white reusable bag, I wonder if that was his. Or his wife’s. If they did their weekly shop in a mismatch of bags that looked like that or they were the type of couple to have a set.

His eyes are on me though, somehow here and not here. I feel the same way.

I look back to the cashier asking me how I was paying. She glances between Harry and I. I don’t look back at him. Or the growing queue a few feet away.

I take my groceries—just some items my mum asked me to pick up, and stuff them into the tote I’m wearing. Harry waits for me by the exit.

“Hi.” He says as his eyes scan my face. I do the same, taking in all the ways time had spent with him. It must have been good—he looked good. “I can’t believe-“

“A Whole Foods of all places.” I laugh. A grin splits his face but his eyes stay on me.

“That smile, that laugh. God I’ve missed you.”

“I…missed you too.” How I could miss someone I’d known for one year and then never again for nearly two decades…I didn’t realize it was possible until now.

“Are you busy?” He asks. “Maybe we can grab a drink or?”

“I don’t…drink.” I hated that I had to announce it to people. I was still at the stage where I was figuring out how to say it confidently, or find a way around saying it.

“Oh.” Harry glances down at my belly and I realize he’d misunderstood but it’s too unspoken to correct him. “Cafe?”

“Yeah. That sounds lovely.” Honestly going anywhere with him sounded lovely right now. I wanted to cancel all my plans for the day and just sit with him. Stare at him and catch up. I couldn’t believe he was here.

We walk in a comfortable but waiting silence, like taking a cold drink out to a park with the anticipation it’s going to be good , and no desperation to open it as soon as you get it.

“Usual? Tea?” Harry asks when we step into a nearby cafe. It’s big for a cafe but has enough students working on laptops to not feel empty. I nod, unsure how to feel that Harry still knows what I order at a cafe. Or that my order hasn’t changed since 17.

I find us a booth and pretty soon he’s sliding into the seat across from me. The two of us can’t stop smiling.

“Hi,” he says again.

“Hi…”

“You look good, the same but better.”

“I was going to say the same thing about you!” I exclaim. More smiling.

“How’s…I mean, how are you? How is everything? What-“

“There’s so much to ask-“

“I don’t even know how to ask what I want to know!” Harry laughs and I’m warmed from the inside out at the sound of it.

“This shouldn’t be hard!”

“No.” He scrubs his face. “I’m really buzzing that we’ve run into each other.”

“Me too. It’s a bit unbelievable.”

“I know.” He continues gripping his cup and not taking his eyes off of me. It’s the exact way he used to look at me when we were teenagers. It nearly takes my breath away. “You look good—but I already said that. Sorry.”

“No,” I laugh. “That’s all that’s running through my head.”

“Oh—I remember hearing you were engaged a few years ago-“

“Yeah.” I turn my hand so he can see the ring. “Married now. You?”

“Yeah,” he looks down at his own hand. He had so many rings on I couldn’t tell from a glance. “Coming up to 5 years now.”

“Wow. It’s only 1.5 for me but Tatum and I—my husband, we’d been since uni.”

“Took him a while.”

“Mhm,” it had been a sore subject way back then. Harry says it casually but he studies my face. I know he wants to ask more but he’ll politely maneuver around it.

“Are you happy?”

I let out a breath. “That’s more complicated than anything else you could ask!”

“Is it?”

“Yeah I-“ I shrug. “I don’t know if I am. But I also have no idea what I could do about it. So. There’s that.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” My stomach curdles with his words. I didn’t want pity, least of all from Harry. Harry. I can’t believe he was here. “I get it though. Everyone says your 30s are even more glorious than your 20s. We’ll see soon enough if they’re right.”

I meet his eye, they always intimidated me to look too long into. Even now, I glance back down at my drink. When I look up again he has a wry smile twisting his lips. He knew.

I was sorry to hear life hadn’t been as good for him. And then I understand, it wasn’t pity he was giving me. He truly was sorry like I.

I thought about Harry often. Of course I did. I liked to imagine him living out his dreams like he always talked about. I liked to imagine him happy and thriving.

“Do you ever think about us?” I have to ask. “If we did it all differently?”

“We would have had a 12 year old with us.”

Hearing him say it feels like someone had taken a screwdriver and opened me up. Raw and exposed. But looking at him I know he thought about her as much as I had. Both of us were apparently mourning a future neither of us had fought for.

“Yeah,” I breathe but I just sound winded.

“We were trying, at one point—Shan and I.” Harry fiddles with his ring. “Did all the tests and the trials and the shite. But no kids. It put a real strain on my relationship. I think we cracked instead of bending. And I don’t think either of us know how to make it right again.”

I grasp his hand and squeeze. “I know what that’s like. It’s hard. I…a couple years ago. I lost a baby. A baby boy. I felt like it was a punishment for-“

“Don’t.”

We hold onto each other, our drinks long forgotten. He holds my hand and it feels like being known again, like I wasn’t such an awful person. That someone could see everything I’ve done and still choose to have love for me.

“I’m sorry.” He tells me.

“Me too.” I bite my lip. With a sigh I let him go and lean back. Here we’d been so excited to bump into each other but we’d both been carrying sorrow and grief. It wasn’t very hopeful.

“So I guess you’re not drinking because you’re-“

“No.” I say, surprisingly without feeling awkward. “I’m just sober right now. Trying to figure out life without a drink.”

“Sounds like torture but I respect that. Sounds hard.”

“It was at first. I like the feeling now of thinking clearly. But I miss a glass of wine I do sometimes.”

We smile at each other.

“So do you live around here?” Harry broaches talking again after both of us had lapsed into silence for a while. I blink away the fog of the past.

“Yeah. You?”

“Nah. Shan’s out of town and I was feeling lonely. Came over to visit my sister. I’m just staying with her for the week.”

“Lucky me then.” I smile.

“Lucky me too.” He smiles back. It’s soft. We’re soft. It felt impossible to me after all this time the tenderness was still the strongest thing between us.

We chat a bit more, much about nothing. What we did for a job, anyone we still kept in touch with from school. Nothing that meant a lot.

“I need to head off now,” I say when my phone buzzes for a second time. “I was on my way to my mum’s. She keeps calling me.”

“Yeah. Don’t want to keep you.” Harry says but he stays seated. So do I.

We continue just studying the other until my phone rings again and I laugh. “It was…I really loved seeing you.”

I slide out and Harry mirrors me. I still come to his chest, he still smells the same and stands the same and looks just as handsome.

“How about uhm, how about dinner some time?” Harry asks. I knew it was coming, it’s still painful saying no.

“I…can’t. I…we can’t just do dinner, can we?”

“No,” Harry bows his head. We had too much history to just do dinner. From what he said—and I knew, both our lives were too complicated to add the allure of each other into the mix. I couldn’t do that to my life as tempted as I was. Especially not sober.

“Yeah.” He stands straight again and gives me space to head to the door. “Good seeing you. Give your mum my best if she doesn’t hate me.”

“She doesn’t.” I assure him. We stand awkwardly not sure if a kiss, a hug, or a wave was appropriate. We settle for a hug.

I remember the last time I was enveloped in his arms, tucked away into his tall frame. When we said goodbye forever, agreed to live our best lives separately. We’d both been too scarred to be anything together. Too much grief.

“Maybe we’ll run into each other again.” Harry smiles at me when we part.

“Maybe,” I say knowing full well I wouldn’t do groceries on the weekend anymore.

With a final wave we both part ways again, this time it doesn’t feel as much like closure.

Age 35.

“Graduation’s graduating, what a mouthful.” I say to Andie. We sit in the parking lot of a local pub back home. Both of us had avoided reunions after going to the first one 10 years ago and being reminded of how much people liked to remind you of who you used to be. But this year Andie found out an old flame was going and single. And this is the first year I saw that Harry had checked off going. So we’d decided to go together.

I could have easily reached out to him. Asked him about meeting up there. But I didn’t want to come across any way. I remember our run-in 6 years ago. We felt the same way—we would do anything for each other, and I didn’t want any affect over him coming. Last I heard he was still in a relationship. Just cuz I was didn’t mean I had to ruin another.

“Okay. We going in?” Andie passes me her flask.

I’d taken to drinking again. Originally I stopped after a particularly bad night when I was 28. It nearly cost me my wedding back then.

I stopped to get sober. To feel what it felt like not to rely on alcohol to keep from feeling my emotions. I had a lot of grief I never processed. And unfortunately being sober, and processing the grief and depression, had ultimately cost me my marriage. But I was better for it. I knew what unconditional love and support was. I didn’t want to settle for someone who only loved me at my best.

Now I felt in control when I drank. I knew when to stop.

“Let’s go!”

“Do you think he’ll remember me?” Andie asks as we walk up to the place.

“You comment on so many of his posts. I think he does.” I tease.

“Gah. It would have saved me so much heartbreak if I just told him back 18 years ago how I felt.”

“Maybe,” I think about my confessed love 18 years ago and the heartbreak that ensued.

“Well at least I would have gotten him outta my system. Oh god I see him-“

“Hi ladies,” we’re stopped near the front and given name tags, making small talk with the girls working the booth. I vaguely remember them from a club but I have to read their name tags to pretend I remembered them at all.

Andie ditches me pretty quickly but I don’t mind. I find some friends I saw a couple times a year. Guess this was the couple time this year.

The whole time my eyes scan the room. People had brought their partners and I wondered if Harry would do the same. Deep down, I prayed he didn’t. I just wanted to see him.

I spot him halfway through the night. He’s leaning against the bar talking to Khalil. I remembered they used to be friends, he was always nice to me while Harry and I dated.

I watch him talk and drink. I lose him for a bit and then catch him leaving. Shite.

I excuse myself and rush out but nearly trip over myself slowing down. He was just outside for a smoke break.

“When did that habit start?” I ask. He nearly jumps out of his skin.

“Fu-y/n you scared me.” He shakes his face dramatically, like he’s getting something off of it. I bite back a smile, he was pretty drunk. “When did you get here? I didn’t know you came to these things?”

“I don’t.” I correct him. I couldn’t tell him I came for him. “It was just the name of this reunion, Graduation’s graduating. How could I pass it up?”

This earns a laugh. Eases the air between us. “Did you see Oli in there? He’s gotten bald.”

“He looks like his dad actually,” I remember his dad was always coming to Oli’s football matches, screaming at his son to run faster.

“Glad you didn’t end up with him?” Harry smirks.

“Oh yeah. I heard last reunion he just kept going up for the karaoke sober. If I want my bloke to embarrass me, at least give him the excuse of being drunk.”

“Shit,” Harry laughs. “I remember that! I remember! Wish I could forget!”

I laugh with him. “Harry you’re getting pretty close to drunk yourself.”

“Ah yeah. More than 3 drinks that, I’m being naughty tonight.”

I scrunch my nose, no idea what he’s talking about.

“I can’t believe you’re here tonight,” Harry says again. “I thought I wasn’t going to see you again for another 12 years after our last time.”

“Thought I’d halve the time.” I watch Harry squash out the butt.

“Glad you did.” He looks at me and I’m 17 again. Why couldn’t we both be single? Why did I come here knowing I couldn’t have him.

Maybe I was as masochistic as the person who invented maths.

“Yn?” A voice calls out to me. “Oi! It is you I thought I was dreaming you up! What a sight!”

I’d been avoiding Oli all night. Not anymore.

I glance at Harry and he hides a smirk. Oli notices Harry then and his face hardens a little.

“Oli! Long time!” I go in for the hug he’s reaching for, unsure why he was so sweaty on an autumn night. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” he grins at me. “You look good! Not a day over 25.”

“Don’t flatter me Oli,” I roll my eyes. “It’s not going to get you anything.”

“I’m not looking! I swear it!” He says earnestly. “I’m just paying you a compliment. It’s good to see you. Hey, I’m actually in a good relationship. Gonna propose to her.”

“Are you? What’s she like?”

I stand in the brisk evening as Oli tells me about his girlfriend. I’m happy for him, what we had in high school wasn’t really a relationship but I never wished him bad. He was a good guy, I was glad he found his person.

I change the subject when he asks about my love life, tell him I was getting cold. We head back in and I tell him I’d catch up to him later. I’d lost Harry and wanted to find him again. I had more I wanted to talk about.

“Khalil,” I interrupt him playing pool. He goes in for a hug and I engage in polite small talk until I tire of it. “I’m looking for Harry.”

“Of course you are,” he wags a finger at me. “I saw him leaving ten minutes ago?”

“Jeez really?” I couldn’t believe I missed him! After coming here just for him. Maybe he had to get home, maybe he had a kid by now. Had to tuck him in.

“He’s not doing so well since the divorce-“

“What?” I stare at Khalil like he’s spoken gibberish. Why hadn’t I heard about that?

“Ehm yeah. He’s pretty private about it.”

“I didn’t know.”

“Yeah. He’s been separated a few years now but he just signed the papers a couple weeks ago. I dunno. He gets kinda depressed around this time of year. Probably the weather.”

It was September. It wasn’t the weather.

I had to find him.

I brush past the people I went to school with. I followed Harry outside to a roof 17 years ago and today I follow him out to find him again. We needed to talk.

I look both ways, hoping for a miracle.

I spot a figure slumped on the far end of the road. I recognize the church, it was where we went every Easter and Christmas growing up.

I walk towards the figure until I can make out the hair. It was Harry. Thank god.

“Why’d you leave?” I ask him when he looks up to my approaching footsteps.

“I drank too much,” he hangs his head again. I sit beside him.

“I heard about the divorce. I’m sorry.”

Harry shrugs. “We separated a while ago. It was coming for a long time.”

“Yeah. Still.” I say.

We sit in silence, the only sound is our breathing and the faint noises from the pub down the road.

“She’s in her last year by now.” I say without further explanation. I know he’d know.

“Our baby’s 17.”

Our baby? I feel choked up. All these years we’d been apart, built our own lives, and there was still an our even when there hadn’t been.

“It’s always been us hasn’t it?” Harry says. “Nobody understands.”

“They couldn’t. We were so young, making such a big decision.”

“Oh y/n.” He leans into me and I wrap my arm around his shoulder. He’s cold, his jacket pooled on the steps around him. I gather it to spread over his shoulder but he stops me. “How much heartbreak can you have in one lifetime?”

I sit, aching for the pain Harry was going through. Knowing it was mirrored in me.

“I’ve had enough for a lifetime. I know that.”

“Me too.” Harry sighs. “I miss you.”

“I’m right here.” I intertwine our hands. They still fit the exact same, all these years later. I examine them, but they looked the same too. I wonder if our baby girl ever looked at her hands, wondered who she inherited them from.

“D’you think she thinks about us?” Harry asks what I’m thinking.

“Maybe.” I say. “I like to think so. I just hope she doesn’t hate us for giving her up.”

“Yeah me too I think…” he hangs his head. I hear him sniffle. Seems like Harry hit the point of drinking where all you could feel is regret. I remember those days. I knew where he was.

When he doesn’t finish his sentence I fill the silence; “Me and Tatum split uh…four years ago now.” I update him. “You probably heard something about it. I remember my mum saying she ran into yours when it was happening. They probably talked all about it.”

I wait for Harry to give confirmation but he stays the way he is.

“I went sober a few years before then. Almost ruined our wedding cuz I was exactly where you were. Unprocessed grief and all I could do was drink about it. I’d given up a baby at 18, then lost a baby a decade later. It feels silly to say out loud, that something that never really came into this world—something the size of a fruit could act like the rock you push up the hill every morning. The grief you fight at your darkest times. How could we be haunted by something that didn’t even exist—not technically. But that’s just the way it was. And that’s the way it had to be when we were 18. I’m not always sure I made the right decision overall but I know it was a decision we had to make at the time. I’ve had to find my peace. So do you Harry.”

“Yeah. I-I have to. Y’know? Sometimes I wonder if I would have made her proud.” Harry sniffles. I had similar thoughts. My throat feels tight remembering. “I don’t think, right now, I would be.”

“She’s so loved. She is so loved Harry. Whatever…wherever she is.”

“I love you.” Harry turns to me. His face is raw with grief and emotion. “Never stopped loving you. But I don’t want to give you this version of me.”

“I’ll take any version of you Harry.” I reassure him. “I think we’ve seen too much of each other to be able to hide anything away.”

He tips forward slowly until his head rests on my chest. I hold him there, just like he’d done for me so many years ago. I tell him the type of thing that meant everything to me back then and I hope it helps him to hear it: “We’ll get through this Harry.”

***

“I don’t remember getting here.”

I look up from my book, Harry stands in my kitchen with a confused look on his face. It was weird seeing him here in my flat. But it was so right too.

“We walked home. I thought you sobered up.”

“Nuh-uh.” He takes a few steps towards me, hesitant.

“Coffee?”

“Maybe I’ll take a shower first?”

“First door on your right. Extra towels in the cupboard.”

“Thanks.”

We look at one another for a beat before he moves back. I make another pot of coffee and clean up from breakfast while he showers.

Next time he walks back in he looks a lot better. Smells nice too.

“Black please.” He says when I hold the coffee up.

I pour him a cup and watch him sip it.

“Thank you for last night.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” I tell him.

“I remember what you said to me. You’re right of course. I think I knew it, I just didn’t have anyone to talk to about it with. Nobody knew about us…”

“You didn’t have to keep it a secret ‘til this day Harry.” I was surprised he had. “You didn’t even tell any of your friends?”

“The only people who knew were my family, a-and Shan. But. Year after year it didn’t mean the same thing to her. I stopped talking to her about it pretty quickly. Think it made it worse because her and I couldn’t actually…”

“Yeah.” I understood.

“But I realized. I think it was losing both of you. I feel like you were taken away too. We just went from being around each other all the time to cold turkey. That was a loss too so…”

“Yeah.” Again, I understood.

“I’m 35. I’ve gotta…get my head on straight.”

I examine him. “Looks okay to me?”

He smiles and puts his cup down.

“I’m sorry to hear about your divorce.”

“Meh that was years ago. Hard then. Fine now. For the best.”

“I agree,” Harry moves around the table to stand where I am. My heart pulses just like it always does around him. He rests a hand on my hip, dragging it up to wrap around my waist. He must feel how hard my heart’s beating. “Did I tell you? That I love you?”

“Maybe?” I feel myself growing more present. The hole that always lived inside of me growing even smaller in this moment. It allows me to settle on the floor better; less air, more weight.

“Well I do. I love you. At 17, or at 35.” He says this with a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth.

“Well. I love you.” I return the kiss, relish in the way his hand grips my tank. “At 17, or 35.”

“Sometimes I wish I held on tighter at 17. But I look at you now and I’m excited to get to know you again.”

His words pour over me like honey. It was sweet we were still on the same page.

“I’m not letting you go this time.” Harry whispers in my ear. He pulls me in tight, swaying from side to side. “I want to spend 41 and 50 with you. I want all of you, every side.”

“Perfect,” I peer up at him. “That’s exactly what I want too.”

“And maybe one day,” he continues in a hush voice. “We’ll get a call from a young girl. She’ll tell us all about her life in a town up north. About a picture she has of her mother dressed like her father and her father dressed like her mother.”

“She’ll tell us she’s had a good life, and she’s thought about the people in the picture. She’d tell us she wants to meet them.”

“We would be able to show her the love we kept for her. Our love’s like a venn diagram, the bit in the middle is just for her. She’d know why she was born in the first place.”

“Closure,” I whisper to him. “We would know closure.”

I remember the day she was taken, how the loss of not even being able to see her felt bigger than the loss of her itself back then.

I think of a 17 year old girl, with green eyes and brown hair. With my smile and Harry’s dimples. My hands, and Harry’s height. She was loved by people, families, that she didn’t even know existed yet.

They say if you love something, let it go. If it’s meant to be it’ll come back.

As Harry and I stay intertwined in the kitchen of my flat, I send out a wish into the universe for her like I did most days. That she was healthy, happy, and one day curious enough to seek us out. That one day, she would come back.

Right now I focus on the man in my arms. The one I never thought I’d get to hold again. For now this was all I needed. I’d loved him, let him go, and after so many years apart, we were back.

#harry styles fic #writingsfromhome #harry styles x reader #harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine #fic #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry stylesxreader #read with caution #sad but hopeful #kinda nervous to post #this fic is qd

[harry-styles-obsessed]

Paparazzi

request: can you write one where Harry and y/n get swarmed by paparazzi really abruptly and one of them hurts her either accidentally or on purpose and Harry flips? Tysm!

A/N: I love this idea! Thanks so much. I found this gif and omg it’s of a fan who got hit by paparazzi and Harry stuck up for them immediately!! Such a kind soul and pretty convenient for this story… lol! Enjoy(:

©️ please do not copy or translate my work.

“C’mon. It’s getting busy let’s just go home.” Harry’s voice was soft as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, lifting up the two small takeaway boxes that were filled with your left over food. It was always a risk being out in public especially for Harry because it would only take one person to spread the news then it would be nightmarish. He secured his arm further around you leaving a few money notes on the table as a tip for the waitress before he walked out with you keeping his arm around you, boxes of food held underneath his arm as you both walked in the direction of where Harry had parked.

As you continued walking Harry started looking around and you knew what that meant: paparazzi. He often had the knack for spotting cameras taking pictures of him and once again his “sixth sense” didn’t fail him. “Harry are they following us?” You asked anxiously his green eyes locking with yours “just keep walking.” His arm slid down to your waist as he began making you walk at his speed, attempting to lose the photographers— they weren’t even photographers. More like money hungry assholes who just loved to ruin every moment to get a simple picture of celebs. It was stupid. You leaned into harry further feeling your nerves wrap around you shaky breaths leaving your mouth.

“Mr styles!!”

“Harry over here!”

“How does it feel being in a relationship with the Harry styles?”

“Hold still!!”

Mixtures of yells came from all around you suddenly, loud running which sounded like a herd of elephants only made your heart race in your chest “keep your head down.” Harry spoke quietly and you did as he said, keeping your head down him doing the same as he kept a tight grip on you guiding you through the crowd of rowdy paps. Your eyes couldn’t comprehend the amount of flashes blurring your vision the brightness blinding you almost as the paparazzi continued to yell at you both, purposely getting in Harry’s way to get a shot of his face. God were you glad you were wearing jeans. You had heard horror stories of paparazzis taking pictures up celebs partners dresses or skirts which was beyond fucked. “Have you got anymore upcoming films?” One paparazzi spoke to Harry, god they were not giving up were they. “You’ll find out soon enough.” Harry muttered harshly through gritted teeth, yet his lips remained in a thin line making him look calm despite wanting to punch their faces.

“Y/n does Harry satisfy you in—“ “hey, man shut the fuck up.” Harry demanded glaring into the paparazzis eyes, the man right in front of you as all the other greedy men took loads of pictures of Harry’s face Harry quickly pulled you round to his other side getting you further away from the vile man before he grabbed your hand intertwining his fingers with yours, repositioning the food into his other hand as he pulled you gently through the crowd. Snaps of the cameras were heard as the lenses focused on Harry’s face, his eyes, your terrified expression some of the photos blurry and unusable but some good the paparazzi’s clearly proud of their work yet they didn’t stop.

“We’re so hungry Harry! We’ve been working all night whilst you fondue with your girlfriend!” Fondue? Was this pap serious? For fucks sake. You rolled your eyes before Harry abruptly stopped shoving the food into the paps arms “there. Take the food and leave us be.” He demanded the one pap immediately leaving clearly happy. God did you hope he didn’t try to sell “Harry styles’ food’ on eBay. Harry tugged you further away as the car soon came into view until all of that went to the back of Harry’s mind as suddenly one of the paparazzis behind you purposely pushed you hard— taking a picture of you as you plummeted to the ground, camera catching your ass the cruel man grinning— Harry’s grip on your hand making sure you didn’t hurt yourself as he quickly helped you stand up again before he looked back at the paparazzi “it’s so rude to do that” he spat out, glaring at the man Harry’s jaw remaining clenched “did you take a picture of that?” He soon asked taking a threatening step towards the man “harry…” you whispered yet your voice was drowned out by the sound of the cameras taking hundreds of pictures their desperation showing. “No.” He spoke smirking but Harry wasn’t impressed instead ripping the camera from the man’s neck before looking through the pictures which consisted of your ass more than anything Harry’s eyes dangerous as he looked at the photographer with cold eyes “how fucking dare you.” He spoke before shaking his head “you’re going to delete all these pictures right fucking now.” He demanded you reaching out to touch his arm “harry its okay I—“ “no way am I doing that. That’s all my work.” Harry clenched his jaw but tried to remain calm “fine. Thanks for the free camera.” He spoke coldly before shoving the man back and grabbing onto your hand again as he hurriedly pushed past the paparazzis ignoring their yells as he walked you to his car opening the door for you helping you get in before he shut the door,

“That’s my camera mr styles! You take it and I’ll sue you!” The man yelled Harry glancing at him knowing he shouldn’t do this but he didn’t care at this point “here— catch” he threw the camera at the man, the camera sliding through the man’s hand and crashing to the ground the lens smashing “oh no. That was your fault.” Harry spoke sarcastically before he got into his car shutting the door and locking the car before he reversed, the tyre of his car rolling over the camera— the paparazzi shouting, hitting the window “you’re so done!” He yelled at Harry and Harry paused rolling down the window “you have an issue. I’ll see you in court.” He spoke simply knowing the man wouldn’t even dare to take it to court as he would have a whole lot of list of allegations against him. Sexual assault. Assault. GBH. Everything. Harry then drove off abruptly his hands clenched around the steering wheel you breathing heavily as you stared down at your hands, hands trembling slightly. Harry didn’t say anything the whole drive but eventually his hand came down to rest against your thigh which he squeezed gently, thumb caressing over the material of your jeans attempting to comfort you.

“Are you okay?” He soon spoke only earning a nod from you, the car stopped at a red light before he reached over grabbing onto your chin gently as he forced you to look at him “are you okay?” You nodded sighing shakily “they’re just assholes.” You murmured softly and Harry chuckled “assholes one way to describe them… they’re greedy for money and attention. Something I won’t give them.” You sighed holding onto his hand tightly “I won’t let that happen again, y/n.” He spoke but he was promising that he wouldn’t let it happen again. No way. He then intertwined his fingers with yours bringing your hand up to his lips pressing a kiss to the back of your hand but he meant it. If the paparazzi tried to do anything again he wouldn’t just let them off with a warning— he’d break all their cameras even if he had to pay for new ones he didn’t care. Cameras could be replaced. You couldn’t…. And he knew that damn well. He couldn’t lose you, ever. He wouldn’t.

#x reader #harry edward styles #harry styles #harry styles x y/n #yn #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles x fem!reader #paparazzi #protective harry #fem reader #harry x fem reader #harry x y/n #harrystyles #requests open #requested #comfort stories #relationship #harry x reader #harry x you #imagines

[thebestofoneshots]

Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 6.2K Warnings: Use of the word fag in a derogatory way. The person that does it gets told off for it. Prompt: After the day you've had, you could really use a drink, if Rem let's you go through with it, at least. This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it. Proofread by lovely: @aremuslupinsimp

Chapter 31: Strange Magic

You walked all the way to the common room as fast as you could, you were hoping your little talk with Reggie hadn’t been so long that it would have Lily and Remus worrying about you. Once you arrived, the lady in the portrait gave you a bit of a scowl. 

“It was you, wasn’t it?” 

You were taken aback. “Me? Whatever did I do?” 

She arched an eyebrow at you, looking rather displeased, “You gave the password to that pretty Slytherin girl and her younger friend.” 

“No,” you said with a head shake. “I’m not friends with the Slytheri–” 

“Hey, Star Seeker!” You heard Minho’s voice from behind. “You gonna let me in or what?” 

You winced at that, the fact that Minho had his quidditch sweater on only aggravating the situation further, the lady gave you a look and you shrugged. “I don’t ascribe to the whole house rivalry we’ve got going on.” 

“That’s right!” Minho said as he wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer to him. “We’re transcendent mates.” 

“What?” You asked, turning to him with a frown. “Transcendent mates!?” 

“You’re telling me «chowol chingu» doesn’t have a literal translation that makes sense in English?” You shook your head, you might have studied many languages, but you had no idea what chowol chingu meant. “Like, umm…” Minho seemed to struggle to find the right words, trying to think of a time when he heard someone say something similar,  “Best chums?” 

“You almost blew my head off in the game today!” 

“Not my fault you were on the other team,” he said with a shrug. “Besides, I wasn’t nearly as bad as Barty.” 

You laughed. “Best chums then, all right,” you said as you shook your head. “Will you let us in?” you said, turning to the lady in the portrait with the same charming smile you used to convince Remus of silly things. 

She pursed her lips, rolled her eyes and took a deep breath before leaning her head down, “Password?” 

You smiled, “Boneless phoenix wings.” 

The portrait opened up like a door and allowed both you and Minho to get in. “It’s so much less hassle to get into my common room,” he said with a sigh. 

You hummed, “Yeah, your brick wall is nice, a lot less talkative, but the Lady on the portrait is a taste you acquire.” 

“How do you know about the brick wall?” He asked, a little confused. “Wait, it was you!” 

“No it wasn’t,” you said with a frown and looked around the room, Tom wasn’t too far. 

“It had to be you, and it makes so much sense omg, you little–” 

“Tom!” you called, the boy turned to you, and you shoved him onto Minho’s face, Minho was terrible at keeping secrets, and you weren’t about to spill the beans about the prank onto him, “Minho was looking for you, go ahead and talk,” You said with a smile before you scurried away. You noticed the blush on Minho’s neck as he threw you a desperate look and you just shrugged and shot him a wink. 

You slipped towards your room, Lily had found some nice clothes for you on the bed, and you smiled and changed into them. It was a pair of snug corduroy pants and a thick sweater. It was stylish and yet simple. You cleaned up and changed into the clothes, walking downstairs trying not to cause too much attention, skidding past some with your head low until you reached the spot where Remus stood. Near the fireplace, with a cup in one hand and a plate in the other, he was wearing a quidditch sweater that fit him snuggly, perhaps a little tight. 

“That’s not yours,” you said when you approached. 

“Sirius gave it to me, said it fit the spirit. Left it with a note on my bed and everything.”  He did not mention what Sirius had written in the note, “Wear it if we win, give it to Vix and cheer her up if we don’t”.

“Romantic,” you joked, Remus rolled his eyes, trying to avoid your gaze. “Suits you well.” 

“Must be for my dashing good looks.” 

“Oh… and it came along with Sirius’ personality.” He chuckled at your joke and finally turned to look at you again, almost allowing himself to get lost in your eyes. “You saved that for me, yeah?”

“In my pockets,” he said, hands still very occupied with food and drink. 

“Which one?”

“Back, left,” he said automatically, not realising you would reach down and grab it “Oi! That’s the right,” he complained as you dug your hand in his pocket, brushing his arse and making him panic slightly. 

“Sorry,” you mumbled and went for the other pocket “Should’ve specified which left.”

“There’s only one left!” he said in disbelief as you pulled the little flask out. 

You shrugged “Never been good at knowing which is which.” 

“Or… you just wanted an excuse to touch my arse.” 

“Oh no!” you said ironically, “You’ve discovered my evil scheme. All I wanted was to get a good feel of those round butt cheeks.” Remus almost choked on his drink from the laugh that got caught in his throat, you smiled and extended the small flask towards him. “Cheers mate,” you said before taking it to your mouth and drinking a few big gulps.

Remus left the plate on the mantle and pulled the flask off your mouth, “Hold up, slow down little witch!” The Firewhiskey was rather strong, he was sure you’d be tipsy in no time.

You looked at him reproachfully, your lips were wet and looked incredibly juicy before you gave them a lick and collected the remnants of alcohol from them, he forced himself to look at your eyes instead “Rem!” you reproached. 

“Uh-uh,” he shook his head as he raised the bottle above his head. “You tell me what this is all about and then I give it back to you.” 

“I just need a drink.” 

“Because of the fall? The monster in the swamp? Whatever you’ve got going on with Nightshade?”

Fucking perceptive werewolf best friend “No.” you said with a loose shake of the head, he realized you were being honest. 

You sighed and reclined against the side of the chimney, staring at him through your lashes with an expression akin to a reprimanded puppy. “Can I please…?” He shook his head and raised an eyebrow expectantly. “I had a talk with Regulus.” 

Remus’ eyes narrowed on you, lowering the flask as he looked at you in shock. “If he said something to you that–” The werewolf seemed about ready to throw punches, even if he didn’t think too bad of Reg in the first place, he also saw in him all the things of Sirius you did. 

But you shook your head, and he could see the contrition in your eyes, “He didn’t rat us out.” 

Remus tilted his head to the side, just a little, prompting you to continue. You let out another deep breath and looked to the side “So then how did…?” 

“He said they got an owl,” you explained, “Must have been the creepy wizard from ‘El Maleficio', I get chills from the memory.” 

“That’s the muggle but then not actually muggle magic shop, correct?” 

“Where we bought the animagus recipe and this,” you said as you pulled out the necklace Sirius had given you.

“He still has the mark from it.” 

“The mark?” you asked with a frown.

“I’ll tell you about it later.” Remus wasn’t sure if telling you about the bIood magic linked to it was a good idea, “So the man sent a note.” 

You shut your eyes at that, and your frown deepened. “They asked Regulus, he lied and then they– they gave him veritaserum.” 

“Oh.”

“And then there was the letter–” 

“The one you burned down.” 

You nodded, “I hadn’t gotten a reply to any of the letters I sent to Sirius and I was angry and sad and–” you sighed, “he said the letter explained it all.  Poor Regulus thought I was mad at him even if I knew– And I’ve been treating him like dog shit…” You let your head fall back with a groan. It crashed onto the wall, a little loud for Remus’ enhanced hearing and he worried. 

“It was a situational thing.” 

“I could’ve been more rational,” you said as you opened your eyes again, a reproachful tone directed straight at yourself. “Attempt to be a decent person–” 

“You’re already one of the nicest people I know,” he said “Stupid selfless if you ask me.” 

You threw him a look, a half-smile on your lips “I’m not selfless.” 

“Says the girl that was ready to be eaten…” 

“I wasn’t ready to be eaten! I was thinking of a different approach!” He raised an eyebrow and you pushed him back playfully, “Can I please, please get my flask back?” 

“Drinking your sorrows away is not a great habit.” 

“What do you mean sorrows? I caught the snitch, I should be celebrating!” 

He took a long sip of the firewhiskey before passing it over to you. “Don’t gulp it down again,” he warned. 

“Ugh, you’re such a mom,” you replied as you took a sip.

“A mom?!? Not a dad?” 

“Daddy maybe,” you snickered, he rolled his eyes at you but smiled regardless.

At some point, Marlene discovered you in the corner and dragged you to dance with her, you barely had time to hand the flask to Remus before she was prompting you to shake around in the improvised dance floor. After a while, you started to feel the strain in your shoulder and decided to lie down instead. But you were stopped by Nox, who waved at you from the side to get closer. 

“Hi!” you greeted, “Glad you and Comet made it.” 

He nodded in response and then hesitated as if he wanted to say something “Do you,” he scratched the back of his head, “Fucking Neil, I’m getting him for this,” he mumbled. “You see, some kids from my class and a few others who’ve joined decided to make a mini quidditch game.” You hummed in response. “Each of the teams we formed will be allowed to invite one of the pros to the game.” 

“One of the pros?” you asked, an eyebrow quirked. 

He nodded, “Yeah, one of the members of the quidditch teams…” he took a deep breath. “Would you… would you like to be in our team?” he asked.

You simply nodded, “Sure!”  The fact that James wouldn’t be too happy about you over-exerting yourself didn’t even cross our mind “Who’s the other player?” 

“It’s Alex Wood,” he told you “You’re friends, right?” 

You nodded, “It’ll be nice to see him as a keeper before the official game.” 

Nox shook his head “Oh no, he’s… he’s not going to be a keeper, he’ll play chaser.” 

“Really?” You asked, a little shocked. 

“Yeah, it was part of the rules, so the game was more balanced. We were thinking of making you a seeker, but well, it wouldn’t be very balanced, would it?” 

You raised your eyebrows “If that’s your way of complimenting my seeker skills Nox, I’ll take it gladly. Especially from a Slytherin.” 

“As if you needed more compliments than you already have,” he scoffed. “Anyway, how do you feel about being a chaser, or a beater?” 

“Well…” you said, rolling your wounded shoulder unconsciously.

“Can’t do beater sorry,” Sirius said as he wrapped one of his arms around you, placing his hand near enough your wound, not to hurt you, but to remind you. “She needs some time to recover after the fall.” 

“Puppy you’re back!” you said as you leaned onto him. “How was detention?” 

“Humdrum, as you’d expect,” he replied, not giving it too much thought. “If you need a beater I could fill in for her.” 

“Oh no,” Nox shook his head calmly. “She can be a chaser, it’d better actually, I believe, Solacis wanted to be a beater.” 

Sirius tilted his head, and Nox swallowed “Anyway, that was what I wanted to ask, I’ll give you more details about the game during the week,” he said before scurrying off. 

You turned to Sirius, “You threw him the look.” 

“You shouldn’t be playing quidditch,” he responded simply and squeezed your arm a little. “You should be resting instead.” 

You shrugged, “We won.” 

He nodded “Peter told me,” he said with a slightly displeased nod and leaned the butterbeer he had in his hand towards you, “Want some?” 

You took it from his hand and gave it a sip, “Did he tell you about…” 

“The way you fucking jumped off your broom? Of course, he did.” 

“Nosy little rat,” you mumbled. 

“And you think I wouldn’t have found out?!?” 

You shrugged. “I didn’t jump off, by the way… My broom was being coursed, I would have fallen down regardless, I just thought I’d have higher chances of getting the snitch if I leapt towards it.”

“And your counter jinx didn’t work?” 

“What?” You asked, head snapping his way, eyes opened wide.

“Your counter Jinx? I assume it wasn’t working because–“ he noticed the surprise on your face. “You did try to use a counter jinx before jumping off your broom, right?” You looked at him, dazed.  “Starshine…” 

You gave him an apologetic look, “I guess I just didn’t… I needed to get the snitch.” 

He groaned, laying his head on your shoulder. “You do know counter jinxes, right luv?” he asked, turning to look at you, still from the crook of your neck, his breath tickling over your soft skin. 

 You swallowed, the closeness making you nervous. “Well… I mean I know a few, not a specific one but–”

“I know a couple, I’ll teach you,” he said determinedly. “We’ll practise next time we go flying with James, I’ll be trying to throw you off and you’ll have to counter it. It’s advanced wandless magic, but if anyone can master it, it’s you.” 

You leaned down and gave him a small peck on the temple, “Thanks Pups.” 

“Pas de problème,” he said simply. 

“Sirius we need to move,” James said as he gripped your boyfriend from his jacket and hauled him off your shoulder. 

Your boyfriend groaned at the loss of your touch, “James, next time you cockblock me like this I will hex you.” 

“McGonagall is coming,” James said simply.  Sirius’ breath hitched. 

“What’s wrong with that?” you asked. 

“She gave us specific instructions to go straight to our room,” Sirius explained.  “Said if we didn’t, we’d be in detention for a lot longer.”  

“Invisibility cloak?” you asked looking at James, he shook his head and you took your wand out, disillusioning them both at the same time, “Go, I’ll distract her.” 

“Thanks, Vix,” you heard James say quietly.

Then felt a hot breath on your shoulder. “On the hideout we used for Marlene’s party after Maggie’s gone to check our room, I’ll take the cloak.” 

You turned to him with a smirk, even if you couldn’t see him, and nodded. Then you moved towards McGonagall, who was looking around the heads of students in the common room. 

”Professor!” You called, she turned to you, hesitant, as if she still needed to find something, “Professor I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” 

She sighed and turned to you, “Yes, darling?” 

You smiled at her, charming and apologetic, “If I’m distracting you then–” 

She shook her head, almost feeling bad at herself for not giving you the necessary attention, “Are you alright? That was– it was a nasty fall you took on,” she grimaced. 

And then you remembered, she was going to be a professional player but fell off her broom and got injured, you instantly felt bad, your fall must have brought back a lot of memories, “I am,” you responded quickly and changed the subject. “But it’s… It’s actually about transfiguration… I thought you would ask Remus to help me with tutoring?” 

She looked at you a little taken aback, “You didn’t ask him yourself?” 

You shook your head “I should have?”  

“Well, since you were in classes together. And you seem to be really close, I assumed you had already… Never mind, would you like me to ask him?” 

“Uh… no, no, I suppose I can just do it myself.” She frowned but nodded, and then gave a step as if to go back to searching “Wait!” you said, a little worried James hadn’t gotten to his room yet. 

“I’m…” fuck what do I even say, “I’d like to know about contraceptive potions.” The professor seemed visibly scandalised at your question, “For a friend,” you added meekly. 

She gave you a rather stern look, I’ve fucked it up, I’ve fucked it up, but McGonagall just sighed and nodded. “It’s only natural to be curious about this stuff,” she started approaching the subject in a rather neutral and tentative tone. I really fucked it up. “Especially when it’s not a subject included in the curriculum. And believe me, I have been trying to include it for the longest time.” 

You held back a gasp, looking at her surprised, “Wait, really?” 

She nodded, “Generally I gather the Gryffindors in the last year to teach them the basics before they go out in the world but I suppose since you’re dating Mr. Black, and Merlin knows that boy is rather… eager–” You winced, way to throw poor Sirius under the bus. You already knew how to brew the potion, you’d gotten the recipe from a book Marlene had borrowed, given to her by her older sister, and you certainly didn’t expect to have that kind of talk with Minnie, but you had to pull through, for your friends. “So I suppose you could come to our next meeting, of course you’d have to get a letter from your parents stating you can do so, since you’re still under age.” 

You nodded, trying to settle the small frown that had formed on your face. Now you’d have to find a way to fake a letter from your mom or something, “Of course,” you said, “thank you very much, Professor McGonagall.” 

She gave you a look and sighed again, “Is there anything else I can help you with?” 

You realised you were still blocking her way, and you shook your head “No, no… I’m sorry,” you responded and moved out of her way, looking at the way she disappeared through the stairs. You took a deep breath and sat on one of the sofas. Head laying back as you processed what had happened until you felt the pressure shift beneath you. 

You turned to the side and smiled when you spotted him, he had a glass of something that smelled alcoholic in his left hand “Hey Pete!” 

“You know, I’ve been thinking…”

“Must have hurt.”

“Prick!” He said with a laugh as he shoved you with his shoulder and then proceeded, “When I was 10 my parents got me my own cat.” He said. You knew he was going to continue talking so you let him. “And we rubbed the kitten on my sister’s older cat so she would accept it as part of their family.”

You nodded, frowning a little as you tried to process what he’d said “I don’t have a kitten.” 

He frowned and then realised his statement might have been a little ambiguous. “Oh, well… I mean, you know how Moony chased you fiercely last moon and he’d been chasing after you earlier too. Like, in the previous moons he’d been absolutely relentless, wanting to get in the castle, almost impossible for Padfoot and Prongs to control. I think… well I think it might be because of the way you smell? I mean I’m not nearly as good as Pads with the sense of smell but… you do have a rather strong scent.”  

Your frown deepened. Strong scent? “Should I be offended?” 

He shook his head quickly “NO! I don’t mean to say that you smell bad!” He was stumbling with his words “I’m just saying it’s distinctive… especially for us, probably a lot more for them since they’re canines too.” 

 “So… bottom line is, you’re saying I should go rub myself into Remus?!” You asked incredulously. He flushed. But then you thought about it. It wasn’t that far-fetched… “I’m around you guys all the time, the smell should already be there already anyway, right? Didn’t seem to help last Monday either.”

Peter shook his head “You’re not around us in animagi form.” 

“Oh, so I’m supposed to turn into a fox and then go rub on Remus? Cross my paws he doesn’t eat me on the spot?” 

“Not Remus! You could rub on Padfoot or- Prongs…. I’d say me but I’m way too small,” He explained “That would give you the smell of the pack.” 

“Right…” you trailed off “And that would work? As in, if I go around, trying to get Sirius’ scent all over me, the wolf won’t try to eat me next time he sees me?”

“It’s worth a shot?” Peter said with a shrug “I mean it’s that or he’ll keep looking for you. You know once a werewolf catches a scent it’s… impossible to stop it. And you’re dating Sirius anyway, so take it as quality bonding time.”

You reclined on the sofa, trying to take all the new information in, the more you thought about it, the more it made sense. Perhaps it really could work. Remus sat beside you a little after “Saw you talk to Minnie, everything all right?” 

You groaned at that, letting your head fall back again as you reached for the flask in his hand and brought it to your lips, taking a sip and feeling the taste burn your throat. You sighed, “I need to falsify a letter from my mum.” 

Remus raised an eyebrow “Why?” 

“I asked Professor McGonagall about contraceptive potions,” you said reluctantly, as you shut your eyes. 

Peter, who seemed shocked, was the one to speak next “Oi? Yes I’m coming!” he said as if someone had called him and then stood up and fled. 

Remus on the other side, had tensed, but you were way too fucking preoccupied with the memory to notice. “For you and Sirius…” he acknowledged, almost bitterly, “we could’ve gotten them in the restricted section,” he added, trying exceptionally hard not to clench his jaw.

You turned to him in shock, “What?! I didn’t ask because I needed them! I needed to distract Maggie so Prongs and Pads could run off to their room, couldn’t think of anything better. I already have the recipe anyway, Ma– it was given to me.”

“Oh,” he managed to say then, as if your answer made the whole thing better. “You want help with it?” 

“With what? The fake letter or brewing the potion?” You asked, diverted. 

Remus shrugged, managing to slip back into a chiller demeanour somehow “Both?” 

You laughed, “That’s incredibly kind of you Rem,” you responded. “I’ll tell you when I require help… For now, though, I just need a drink,” you said as you took another sip and then remembered the conversation with Maggie again “Ugh, she now thinks we’re nothing but horny teenagers.” 

“She’s not wrong,” he teased with a smile and you elbowed him in response.

“Arse.” 

You then felt a tug at your hair, you turned around and there was nothing. You narrowed your eyes but took another sip. And then you felt it again. You knew who it was in an instant and stood up. 

“You leaving?” He asked as you did, not being able to mask his disappointment, even just having you beside him made him feel better. 

“Mhm,” you said as you bit your lip, not wanting to prove his point, “I’ll go get some snacks, want some?” 

He shook his head, and you started walking to the hideout. Sirius was just behind you, using the cloak to hide, his hand firmly pressed to your shoulder. You looked back, and then the two of you attempted to slide inside the tight passage, but there were already two people inside. And those two people were snogging. You pulled back, stepping on the cloak and causing it to fall from Sirius’ shoulders. The four of you staring at each other in complete shock. Two of which were a lot more mortified than the rest. 

You, being distracted by the situation, did not feel the way Sirius’s hand on your shoulder tensed. And since your back was to him, you also didn’t notice the way his eyes had gone wide or the way his breath hitched on his throat. 

“Oh hey Sly Sprite, wanna join in?” Tom joked as he stared at you, Sirius, somehow overcoming the initial shock gave him a murderous look, the same he had used on Nox earlier, the Black family scowl, but it seemed to have no effect on the boy. “You can join too handsome,” he winked. Earning a slap on the shoulder from Minho.

Sirius, who had been enthralled in the sight, was instantly taken aback by Tom’s words as you spoke, “Sorry to bother you boys, we’ll find a different place to snog.” You had a very apologetic look on your face as you grabbed the cloak from the floor but Minho grabbed onto your arm, eyes pleading. “Don’t worry, I’ll deal with him,” you told him, “Not a soul will find out.” 

“You promise?” He asked, still apprehensive. Tom, who had looked diverted up until that point, seemed to understand the delicacy of the subject for Minho, and placed a hand on his upper arm reassuringly. 

“Sirius is trustworthy, as much as Sly Sprite, no one will know unless you want it,” Tom said, he was now rubbing Minho’s arm reassuringly.  

“Yes, that’s true,” you agreed, “I’ll talk to him Min, just enjoy yourself, and um… maybe put a spell up so this doesn’t happen again.” You then grabbed Sirius by the arm, and covered the two of you with the cloak.

Minutes stretched into silence as you and Sirius moved away from the spectacle, the sounds of the party fading into the background as you pulled him towards a different direction. 

Up until then, Sirius Black had never seen two boys kiss. And he was experiencing things he was so not supposed to be experiencing after it. You were still dragging him towards a different section, your hand intertwined with his as you sorted through people, as he stared blankly ahead. You didn’t stop until you were both hidden on a small section near the back of the spiral staircase that you knew was also another snogging spot, but a lot less used because of how cramped it was. You didn’t mind being so close to Sirius though, you never had.

“Tom and Minho, they’re… fags?” he said once you cast a muffliato around the two of you.

“That’s an awful word to use,” you reprimanded with a frown, Sirius seemed to be taken aback by it. 

“Gay.” 

You tilted your head, making a rather unconvinced hm, that just seemed to confuse Sirius even more, the scene of Tom and Minho kissing replying on his head over and over and over again, sometimes with them, sometimes with different people being the ones kissing. That was the one that scared him the most. 

“Well, technically Tom is Bi but–” 

“By? By what?” 

“Bisexual… or pan I think.” Your brain was a bit cloudy with how much you’d had to drink, and you were so not expecting to have this conversation with Sirius “He just doesn’t give a fuck about gender.” 

“And Minho?”

“I think he only likes boys, but I’m not sure, we didn’t talk much about it.” You admitted with a shrug “As you can see it’s a rather delicate subject for him.” 

“And you knew? About both of them,” he said with a frown. “Why did you know?” 

You shrugged, “Tom told me, with Minho I sort of guessed, and he spilled the beans about… never mind. You are aware absolutely no one can find out about that, right?” 

“But why? Rock singers… they too– I mean. Why do they hide it?”

“Cause people will start calling them fags if they don’t,” you said as if it were obvious. “Sirius if you were gay you wouldn’t go out and announce it to the entire world.” And then you thought about your words, and let a long sigh escape your lips “or perhaps you actually would.” 

Sirius seemed to think about it for a moment but didn’t say a thing. “So you can like men and women at the same time?” he asked, brow furrowing as he tried to process the information. Of the entire conversation, that had somehow slipped into his brain, and it would mull it over and over again since you mentioned it. He didn’t know. 

“Yeah,” you responded with a shrug, “I like girls too, sometimes,” you were not expecting to admit that to your boyfriend, but apparently that firewhiskey had been strong enough to let it slip by.

Sirius was surprised by that revelation, so surprised he almost let go of the initial wave of shock that had gone over him and the images that would play on his brain over and over again. Of Remus in the library, of him and Remus in the library. 

His initial reaction faded into a warm smile, and he chuckled lightly, this new discovery about you allowing him to forgo his thoughts only for a second, and mask them with humour, like he was accustomed to, "Well, that's interesting. Any particular stories you'd like to share?" He had an eyebrow raised, a cheeky smile on his lips. 

“Sirius.” You admonished. 

He shrugged, “What, it’s kind of hot.” 

You huffed out a laugh and turned to the side before looking back at him, half diverted that such a revelation garnered said reaction. Perhaps you should have expected it, you were dating Sirius Black after all. 

If you had been a little less drunk, and a little less tired from the fall just hours ago, perhaps you would have noticed the way Sirius’ eyes moved rapidly from one side to the other as he was thinking, how he asked about bisexuality with such a careful, and controlled tone, as if trying to sound casual and hoping his nerves wouldn’t betray his thoughts. You would have seen the way you stated you were also bi, had given him a sense of reassurance. As if his thoughts were somehow a little more acceptable now.

But you were exhausted, the fall, the talk with Regulus –that you still had to mention to Sirius– the talk with McGonagall, you were barely holding yourself together at that point. With so many things weighing over your shoulders, too preoccupied with Minho being found out and McGonagall’s thoughts of you that you missed most of it. Letting yourself be easily fooled by Sirius’ half smile and flirty wink.

Eventually, you turned your head back, looking at him straight in the eyes, and adopting a more grave tone “Sirius, nobody will know of what happened in that closet except for the two of us, deal? Not James, not Peter–” 

“Not Moony–” he finished. 

You were about to tell him Remus knew but thought better of it, Sirius was so naturally curious he’d want to know why he did, and there was no good way of explaining it.

“Yes,” you confirmed. 

“Okay,” he said simply. “No one will know.”

And then there was silence, something between a rather awkward situation and both of you deep in your thoughts. Sirius’ mind slipping back to the library, and the images of things that had never happened and could never happen, because he loved you. He was certain of that, and whatever the hell was going on in his brain must have been nothing more than his overactive imagination thinking of silly things. Silly tall things with big broad shoulders and brown-golden eyes. Silly things that smelled of books, chocolate and sometimes cigarette smoke. Silly things that he shouldn’t be thinking about but his stupid brain insisted on putting at the forefront of his head. 

You had, at some point, gravitated towards him, letting your head fall on his shoulder with a sigh, but didn’t say anything more. He found he liked you being close to him like that. Even if you weren’t kissing, he always liked having you close, holding your hands, or giving you hugs, and you had always been eager to return those affections. 

You were perfect, from your smaller frame to the way your breath tickled his neck, from the way your hands intertwined with his to the tip of your shoes clashing against his own. He looked down at you, at your eyes shut, resting on his shoulder, your lashes curling upwards and making you look absolutely angelic, he was sure it was one of the prettiest sights of his life, and yet his mind insisted on switching, the perfect image of you laying on his shoulder replaced by flashes of a taller figure in the library.

To his taller frame and his light brown lashes, to his warm breath and the way his large hand had covered his mouth. It was silly, you were perfect, and Sirius was sure, undoubtedly sure that he loved you like he hadn’t loved anyone in his entire life and yet, he kept thinking of him.

He was so engrossed in his own thoughts that he barely realised when you let out a long and silent yawn, let alone when the rhythm of your breath steadied or when your body slumped slightly a little more into his. Only noticing when you let out the lightest, most heart-warming snore he’d ever heard. He turned to you, your peaceful sleeping figure, and smiled at himself, admiring the way your eyes would tremble slightly, and the way your cheek pressed against his shoulder forcing your mouth into the tiniest of pouts. 

He chuckled “ Starshine! Did you fall asleep?” he teased. 

Your eyes opened up slowly, a frown etched on your face as you looked up to him. “No,” you lied shamelessly before yawning. Sirius’s little smirk just grew a tinge more. 

“Come on,” he said as he patted you on the arm. “You should get some sleep, you must be really tired.” 

You shook your head, or attempted to do it at least, only managing to shake it a little “I wanna be at the party… I wanna be with you.” 

Sirius could tell you were a lot more sleep than awake, especially since you were complaining like a toddler, he wished he could get you on recording. “I can’t be at the party,” he reminded you softly, his deep voice echoing in your ears soothingly. 

“Then just with you. I like it here.” 

“In the cramped space under the stairs?” 

You nodded with a confirming hum, “You’re warm.” 

Sirius nuzzled his head into yours and placed a soft kiss on your cheek. “If the fall is not making your bones creak by the morning, then sleeping while standing up in the most cramped little snogging hole in the entire common room will, come on, let’s get you to your room.” 

Your frown deepened “Party popper.” 

Sirius had never been called a party popper in his entire life, in fact, he’d go as far as to say he was always the life of the party. But eventually, you woke yourself enough to pull back and stare at him, your eyes still hooded with sleep and tiredness, not having had a minute of relaxation in almost the entire day, and being close to Sirius had somehow gotten you to let all your walls down and rest, maybe it was the dog in him, like a service dog or something. 

“You’re cute,” you said suddenly, and Sirius was so surprised that he went red. “Really cute,” you added with a satisfied smile. 

He chuckled a little afterwards, “I’m going to start thinking you’re not only sleepy but also seriously drunk.” 

You frowned, and yawned again “I’m neither,” you insisted. 

Gently, Sirius wrapped the cloak around the two of you and guided you up the stairs, you had leaned your head on his shoulder and drifted between sleep and awake a couple of times as he walked you up the staircase. When you were finally in your room he gave you another look, you lifted your head from his shoulder and tilted it the other way “What’re you looking at?” 

“At my stunning girlfriend,” he responded 

“Mhm?” 

“Mhm,” he confirmed, “go to bed now, you’ll feel like shit in the morning. I’ll tell James you’re not flying–” 

“I AM flying!” You complained, waking up enough to argue.

“You’ll have a hangover tomorrow–” 

“I had only like–” you counted with your fingers, but gave up after you finished with one of your hands, “A few sips.” 

“You’re a lightweight then, go to bed.” 

You scoffed, “Sirius Black, if you’re gone by the time I walk down in the morning because you convinced Prongs that I’m not coming, I’ll wake up Remus and tell him it’s your fault.” 

“Remus?” 

You nodded, “He gets pissed if he doesn’t sleep his hours and you’re working on your magical theory project with him tomorrow, he’ll be pissy and make you work extra.” 

Sirius frowned, “You little minx!” 

You gave him a satisfied smile, “So keep that in mind before leaving tomorrow. Besides, you promised we would practise counterspells.”

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

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A/N: Well, the cat's outta the bag. A few chapters ago you were talking about Sirius figuring out Vixen is bi and I had already written this chapter, I kid you not, it was so hard to keep my mouth shut hehe. Side note: more of Sirius' gay panic, it's one of my favourite things to write ngl.

Read more Marauders Fiction

#imagine #marauders era #marauders x reader #marauders x y/n #moony #padfoot #prongs #sirius black #sirius x reader #sirius black fluff #sirius x you #sirius x y/n #remus x y/n #remus x you #remus x reader #remus one shot #sirius black one shot #poly!marauders x reader #poly!marauders #wolfstar x reader #wolfstar x y/n #wolfstar x you #sirius black x fem!reader #remus lupin x fem!reader #moony x reader #moony x padfoot #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #moony x you #gilded constellations

[nightgoodomens]

We’ve been shown how desperate for praise Aziraphale is but it really hits you in the face how much he needs and looks for it when even Metatron knows it and uses it against him.

Oh Aziraphale you’re perfect for this job, such leader, and this, and that…

We heard bullshit. Aziraphale heard praise.

Just a few words and a few minutes later he ran to Crowley saying “omg Metatron isn’t so bad after all, I was totally wrong” to the Demon that Metatron threw into a pit of boiling sulfur, and Aziraphale suddenly thought that making Crowley go to Heaven and change him into an Angel was the best idea ever. They can totally make some sweet changes! Metatron said something lovely to him which means Aziraphale was totally always right, it is just a few Angels that were bad not everyone! Metatron is totally the best boss ever and they will improve the company together!

Every ounce of common sense out of the window.

It is such a typical corporation scenario.

The foolish employee who’s growing tired of management’s bullshit but still does his best and thinks it’s just a few bad apples. But the second they hear bullshit praise they’re back on doing everything the management wants, especially the dirty jobs they want the fool to do so if something goes wrong, there will be a fool to blame and take the fall.

That’s Aziraphale.

And there is always that other employee who has learned their lesson a long time ago, looking at their colleague in disbelief; how the fuck could you believe them again, you know they’re just using you, you fucking idiot.

That’s Crowley.

Crowley is that colleague the management hates because they know he is clever and sees through their bullshit, and will tell everyone about their idiocy and fuck ups, and will not clean up their crap or cover up for them, or be fooled to do a job they can later blame on him. The bastards never learn or listen, so trying to change anything for them is pointless.

That’s Heaven.

Crowley is that colleague who tries to tell Aziraphale to stop them fucking him over but Aziraphale is that type of a colleague who doesn’t learn until they’re out of the job - because the management finally throws them under the bus for a fuck up that was their fault and so the employee gets fired and falls for them.

And they wash their hands off the blame and problem once again.

It wasn’t them after all.

#good omens #crowley #ineffable fandom #good ineffable omens #ineffable husbands #ineffable boyfriends #ineffable dumbasses #ineffable idiots #ineffable lovers #aziraphale #aziracrow

[theemporium]

Omg please I've been craving eastablished relationship sirius x fem!reader fluff I feel like i've read through the entire tag

What about rockstar!sirius who misses reader and is moping so james and remus set up a surprise and fly her out to a show and she's standing at the baracade and sirius sees her and like jumps off the stage to go to her?

i love rockstar!sirius my beloved<3 thank you for requesting!!

.

To be frank, Sirius Black had been insufferable for the last two months.

When the band had been touring around the UK and Europe, you were able to join them at most, if not all, shows. Sirius loved having you by his side, knowing that one of his favourite people on the planet was with him whilst he did something he loved. And you loved watching your boy thrive in his element. 

However, when the tour moved to North America, you were unable to follow. 

Despite his insistence that he had more than enough money to take care of you both (and let you be his full time favourite groupie), he knew how much your degree meant to you and he wouldn’t ever want you to drop your dreams when you supported his so much. So, you had stayed in the UK to continue your education. 

And Sirius was downright miserable with the distance between you.

Not that anyone would notice. To the world, Sirius Black was still going out on stage and performing like every show was his last. He was a rockstar through and through, and the world fell in love with him a little more with each performance. 

But to his bandmates? They had nothing but constant whining and complaining and moping that Sirius didn’t have his girl by his side. And, to be honest, James and Remus had reached their wit’s end. They could deal with a lot, but two months of it?

No. They knew they needed to do something.

It wasn’t hard to convince you at all to fly over and visit for a short leg of the North America tour. You had been just as miserable without your boy back home. The apartment felt empty without him. And his guitars were a little dusty, which was a sight you weren’t used to. And having one side of the bed constantly cold, with his scent long faded from the pillows, it was starting to take a toll on you.

You packed a bag and made your way to the airport without a second thought, landing in Michigan the day of their show. 

“This is ridiculous.”

Remus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It’s just a precaution.”

“Remus, you want me to get into a suitcase,” you deadpanned, wondering if the tour had finally driven him over the edge. “I am going to suffocate in there!”

“You won’t,” James reassured you with a bright grin. “We’ve done it plenty of times. Plus, it’s just until we can get you into the venue without fans seeing and spoiling the surprise.” 

And you knew he had a point. 

The boys didn’t just want to fly you over and throw you at Sirius. No, they wanted to surprise him, completely knock the air out of his lungs. They didn’t want some lame reunion in a hotel room before he was rushed off onto stage and you were forced to stand backstage until the set ended. 

Go big or go home, and the marauders always chose the former. 

It was why you agreed to get in the suitcase, staying in the cramped space until you reached the venue. It was why you agreed to wear the oversized hoodie, despite standing amongst the fans in the ridiculously hot crowd. It was why you agreed to keep your disguise up until the first few songs passed. 

And then, you threw the hood off your head and you gripped the edge of the barricade as you looked up at the stage, as you looked up at your boyfriend and took in the sight of him for the first time in two months. The tight trousers fitted around his thick thighs, the leather jacket exposing his bare and tattooed torso, the sweat gleaming like a thin layer on his skin and the messy black hair that you missed running your fingers through.

Fuck, you missed your boyfriend.

Sirius lifted his head to look away from his fretboard, his eyes on the crowd as he played the opening riff to the next song, only to stop short when he noticed a familiar face in the crowd. He blinked once, and then twice to make sure it was really you. And by that point, security couldn’t even stop him as he shrugged his guitar off and shoved it into the hands of whoever was closest to him before he hopped off the stage and made a beeline towards you. 

The crowd was going wild as they watched him, the cameras were capturing every moment but you couldn’t care less as Sirius made his way to the barricade, grabbing your face and smashing his lips against yours. It was sloppy, messy and a little desperate, and probably far too much with so many eyes on you but Sirius never really cared about any of that stuff anyways.

“Fuck, I missed you so much, love,” Sirius murmured before he leaned in for another kiss and another and another. And when that wasn’t enough, he all but dragged you over the barricade, grinning wildly when you clung onto him.

“Sirius!” you gasped, your legs wrapped around his waist as his hands rested on your ass.

“God, I missed hearing you scream my name,” he muttered, unable to wipe the smile off his face as he watched you flush at his comment.

“You have a show to perform,” you murmured, nodding your head towards the stage. “I can wait.”

“Well, I can’t,” Sirius told you. “C’mon, let’s go back to the tour bus—”

“Sirius,” you laughed, though there was a hint of warning in your voice which he recognised. “Show first, then sex.”

Sirius grinned cheekily. “Promise?” 

“Promise,” you smiled, leaning down and he pouted his expecting another kiss, only for your lips to brush against his ear instead. “Plus, I want us to have all the time in the world when you see the little surprise I got for you.”

Sirius gulped. “Surprise?” 

“Got ‘em done just before you left,” you told him and his spine straightened in realisation. “Should be healed enough for you to play with them.”

“Show me.”

“Sirius—”

“Baby, show me or so help me, I will lose my mind,” Sirius groaned. 

But you just laughed, patting his cheek as you told him there wasn’t a chance in the world you were going to flash your tits in front of everyone. He groaned as you began untangling yourself from him, making your way backstage where you would watch the rest of the show. Sirius glared at you and your stomach twisted in anticipation. 

“Good luck, baby! Knock ‘em dead!” 

.

#sirius black #marauders #harry potter #hp #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #sirius black x y/n #sirius black fic #sirius black one shot #marauders x reader #marauders x you #marauders x y/n #marauders fic #marauders oneshot #harry potter x reader #harry potter x you #harry potter x y/n #harry potter fic #harry potter oneshot #hp x reader #hp x you #hp x y/n #hp fic #hp one shot

[koolades-world]

Oh my god. Nightbringer Satan crushing on MC and Demon brothers freaking out because it's the same thing that happened with Lillith. Lucifer acts like a clown. (Maybe tries the atic). Belphie too.

NO BUT you think exactly like me, like omg are we secretly twins… The idea is still so fresh in brother's minds since it literally just happened, and Satan is none the wiser. He didn’t live through it after all. He hasn't really had a real conversation about what happened to them since he hates being around them. And honestly, anything that pisses off Lucifer must be the right choice for him. And the thing about the attic! Kinda like to think that Lucifer realized that attic was the perfect place to hide his brothers after sticking Satan up there. If it could contain Satan, what couldn’t it contain? it’s too perfect! I think I just love anything Satan angst

idk if this was a request or not but I kinda wanna write something for this idea anyways so,, ty anon you're literally so cool, sending my love :)

I haven’t gotten through all of Nightbringer’s story yet so sorry if this isn’t totally accurate to what happens. I'm on like chapter 5 and I haven't seen any spoilers... Honkai Star Rail recently came out and my friends are also playing that game so we’ve been playing that. Will go back to Nightbringer soon!

brewing just under the surface

It has been some time since Mc had been outed as a human. It has taken everyone except Solomon time to adjust. At first, everyone was furious in their own ways. Belphie, Satan, and Lucifer showed it in the typical way. It was the most they had truly let themselves go after falling. Everyone in the Devildom was advised to stay inside. Levi and Beel holed themselves up inside, hiding away from the world, fearing that if they showed themselves, they would be burnt again. Asmo found himself drinking into a stupor almost nightly, as when he laid in bed trying to fall asleep, all he could think about was Mc. Mammon was similar. He was rarely home, afraid he would see Mc so he went out gambling or exploring the Devildom to take his mind off everything. Eventually, they began to warm back up to Mc.

Mammon, however, was also the quickest to find himself missing Mc. He began to forgive them and understand their situation. They had been nothing but sweet to him, so he felt like he owed it to them. They had been a friend in a tough time. He began taking them with him on his adventures and gambled less. With them, he felt happier, more like himself. Part of him was kind of giddy they could exist in a state like this, despite everything. He felt like he could forget everything with them. He had them all to himself, after all. Even if they were a human, they were still the same deep down.

Eventually, Beel and Levi came around, followed by Asmo. The remaining three brothers thought they could never forgive Mc. Lucifer had placed so much trust in their attendant only for him to learn they couldn’t even tell the truth about who they were to him. He might be able to come around one day, but for the meantime, he needed to be alone. Belphie had vowed to hate humans for as long as he lived, so forgiveness was out of the question completely.

However, Satan wasn’t really sure why he was so mad. He struggled to find a reason to be mad sometimes. He would rage until he wasn’t really sure why he was raging in the first place, which would make him begin to rage all over again. He had no substantial relationship with this attendant. He was always locked up, locked out, or just too mad to interact with, making him unable to connect with them. It wasn’t on his brother’s behalf either. He didn’t really care about them too much, not enough to be this upset. Mc did technically lie to him, but that thought didn’t really provoke him. So, what was it? That's the mess he had found himself in for the past week or so. He wasn't really sure when he started thinking about it, but he was really tumbling down the rabbit hole now.

Satan was tuckered out after a long night out of causing destruction. He found himself at peace on very few occasions. One of the things that gave him the time to think in peace was after he was tired, or after he had just woken up. When he wasn't angry, he found himself enjoying things, such as thinking or the beauty of the world around him. Because of this, he was seated at the edge of a cliff, looking over the ocean. His legs and tail dangled over the edge. He looked minuscule compared to everything else. The sky was dark, so he stared down at the waves crashing against the cliff. Sometimes, he would overhear his brothers complaining about how it was always dark in the Devildom, but he actually thought it was nice. It comforted him. Not too far away was a road. One of the moons hung low in the sky. The others were not visible at the moment. In another moment of blissful clarity, he had taken the time to learn about the Devildom sky from a book. It had been a gift from Mc. Why they would give him a gift like that was beyond him, but he had found himself enjoying it despite that. It was one of the few things he had not destroyed in his rage.

While staring at sea, he simply thought. With a clear mind, he began to wonder why he still found himself mad at Mc. He hadn't seen them in a while, so maybe the feelings had calmed down. It was positive that he was able to think about it calmly, anyways. He was still unsure why exactly he was mad at Mc in the first place. Perhaps he had thought he had finally found someone that he could somewhat relate to. But then again, they still didn't know each other that well. As he was trapped in his thought, he heard the crunching of gravel behind him.

“Mammon? You out here?” The person he has just been thinking about had suddenly appeared as if it was magic. They had a motorcycle helmet pinched between their arm and torso. They froze once they realized Satan was there.

“Hey, Mc.” He turned back to look over the ocean.

“Sorry. I didn’t realize you were out here. You haven’t seen Mammon recently, have you?” They remained standing awkwardly behind him.

“No.” He kept his answers short, not really sure how to reply.

“Right, thank you.” They didn’t move at first. Then they spoke again. “Do you mind if I sit next to you for a moment?”

Satan thought about it for a moment. “I don’t mind.” He had a lot of questions. They settled next to him. Most anyone who sat next to him sat at least an arms length away. But Mc sat just within reach. Not too close to invade his personal space, but close enough to talk to him on a personal level. If they wanted, they could reach out and touch his shoulder. They set their helmet on the side farther from him.

“What brings you out here?” They asked, looking at the sky too. He had to stop and think about their question again. If it had been anyone else, this would have bothered him by now.

“I’m not sure. It’s beautiful, mysterious. Maybe that’s why.” He looked at them from the corner of his eye. Their looked out at the connection between the ocean and the sky.

“I’ve always loved nature. It’s not the same as home, but it’s beautiful in a different way.” The way they referenced the human works so casually made something within him twinge. Lucifer hated that place, and he should too, but he found himself curious.

“What was it like there?” He asked. They looked surprised, but answered nonetheless.

“It depended where you were. I grew up in a place where everything was always green with life, and you could always find some sort of life somewhere. But I traveled to places where all you could see was sand or the endless sea, like now. The biggest difference was the rising and setting sun. It wasn’t always dark. The sun always rose in the morning, to chase away to dark, and the sun always set to welcome the dark back. I used to wish it could always be night so I didn’t have to go to school and spend all my time at midnight reading, but now I miss it.” They reminisced. He finally turned his head to look at them. The stars and sea reflected in their eyes. “You eyes remind me of the morning. The forest and the rising sun illuminating it all.”

Satan paused again. He has never taken the time to look that closely at his eyes. He would have to look at them the next chance he got. “Thank you.” He finally said. “Do you miss the human world?”

It was Mc’s turn to stop. They still hadn’t realized he was looking at them. “Sometimes I do. But the Devildom has a charm. I’ve spend so much time here, it’s hard not to love. I do love it here.” They looked furthered down at the rocks below, reflecting the crashing waves in their eyes instead. “Someday, I would like to take you there. You would love some of the remote nature locations.”

This statement made Satan heat up. He couldn’t comprehend how they could say such kind things to him, the embodiment of anger. “That sounds nice.” His mind began to wander and suddenly, everything he has been feeling dawned on him. Mc was his friend. He had a friend. It was warm feeling that he didn’t know how to describe, but it did make him want to hold and care for Mc.

“Can I hug you? It’s fine if you say no, I understand.” He nervously looked back over at them again. This time, they were looking back at him. They hesitated for a moment, but then nodded. They scooted over to him, and wrapped their arms around him. They placed their head on his shoulder and inhaled. Satan was sure this was the most amount of affection he had gotten, probably ever. He was almost overwhelmed at first by the emotions he felt.

“You give really good hugs.” Mc seemed to really enjoy the embrace, but he didn’t dare respond. He wasn’t even sure what to say. He didn’t want to let go. This was probably also one of the most peaceful, sweet moments he’d ever had. “I should get going. Mammon is still missing.” Mc sighed.

“Alright.” He let go of them, but they didn’t scoot away quickly. They sat there for a moment, thinking.

“I’m making dinner tonight, if you’re interested. I also have something for you back at the house, so let me know once you get home. See you later.” They then got up, picked up their helmet, and left. They turned around a final time to wave, and he paused for a moment before waving back.

That was the beginning of it all. After that, he found himself by Mc’s side more and more. They went to see more remote scenery, and eventually, they went out in public together. He was still the same irritable, hotheaded demon, but he found it happening less often in the presence of Mc. When it did, they were always there to pick up the pieces of what he has done and comfort him. He was worried he might harm them at first, but they quickly proved they could handle themselves. They knew what made him tick and always seemed to know what he was going to do next. He would still have outbursts pretty frequently, but Mc mysteriously was always right on top of it.

Of course, his brothers, if he even dared call them that, noticed. They claimed they didn't care about their attendant but at the same time got upset with him for hogging their attention. Many times, Mc broke up fights between him and his housemates for this very reason. Even if he wasn't the Avatar of Wrath, he wouldn't have backed down. He still wasn't sure why. He wanted to hold them, love them, care for them. He was smart enough to know this wasn't how a friend would feel about another. Still, he had no clue what it could be if it wasn't that. As much as he didn't dislike Belphegor, he kept finding himself thwarting his attempts to kill Mc. They used to be his least hated of his "brothers" but now he had to say Beelzebub was the least hated now since he would help to control his unruly twin.

He found himself turning to books for answers. There was no one he could ask for advice besides Mc themselves, and he didn't feel comfortable bring this up with them. He was trying to grow more independent anyways. Books reminded him of Mc, since they had been to one to show him how useful they could be. They held the answers to everything, as long as you were holding the right one. Occasionally, he would find himself wanting to rip one to shreds but refrained since he knew it may be useful in the future. Besides, what would Mc think?

All of the books he consulted said the same thing. They described this feeling as a "crush" or whatever that might mean. He thought that word was stupid. The actual meaning was to destroy something with intense pressure and he definitely didn't want to do that. Other than that, he found the definition clear. He thought the word love might describe how he felt better, but he was too afraid to call it that. He did think they were attractive, and he would say it happened rather quick. But what was he supposed to do? They were the only person willing to get close to him.

He was in the middle of reading this book and processing this information when Lucifer threw open the door to his room. His room wasn’t barren anymore. Mc had built a small shelf for him to place his small book collection on. They had done it by hand so he was very careful with it.

“What are you plotting with that human?” He stood in the doorway with his arms crossed.

“Nothing. Get out.” He didn’t look up from his read, but his tail lashed about like an aggravated cat. He prided himself for not tacking him the moment he walked in.

“If you would just tell me, I won’t have to do anything the hard way.” Lucifer didn’t relent. He rushed forward to grab his collar and suspended him midair. “I know about your little crush.” Satan immediately stopped struggling. He was stunned. He couldn't bring himself to form a response.

"That is strictly prohibited. You are to maintain a professional relationship with the attendant.” Satan looked into Lucifer’s eyes. He still wasn’t great at anything relating to emotions, but there was something more than anger stirring in his piercing eyes.

“And since when has that mattered to you? You filthy pig.” Satan snarled, moving to grab the hands at his collar.

“There’s so much you don’t know. You have yet to learn. I don’t care if you hate me. I refuse to lose another one.” The air stilled after those words. He had never sounded Lucifer so upset. It made Satan begin to think. Compared to his housemates, he was nothing but a blip on the radar of time. Before he could even think about forming a response, Lucifer was moving, still holding him. Satan protested and struggled, causing a ruckus.

Mc had been sitting with Mammon in his room, giggling together quietly over another stupid outfit Mc had made. They both went silent as they heard the struggle pass the door, the mood spoiled. They glanced at each other before cracking the door. Mc knew that Lucifer and Satan hadn’t had a physical fight in a while now, so when they saw Lucifer carting Satan off somewhere, they pushed the door open all the way.

“Lucifer. What’s going on here?” When Lucifer didn’t stop, Mc ran after him, causing Mammon to follow as well. He ignored their insistent cries. Mc grabbed onto his lowest pair of wings at the base and dug their heels into the ground in vane. They felt themselves begin to pale as they marched towards the stairs leading to the attic. The attic only held terrible memories, but they were determined to help fix whatever was going on.

As the parade went upstairs, Mc tripped on the first step. Lucifer continued without them, not even acknowledging that they fell. Their knees stung. Mammon was quick to appear at their side and give them a hand up. He had never asked why they seemed so traumatized by the attic, but he knew they even hated being anywhere near that spiral staircase. Dust showered the both of them as Lucifer stomped angrily up the stairs. Their ascent was anything but silent.

“Are ya sure ya wanna go after ‘em?” Mammon whispered to Mc.

“I do. Will you go with me?” They gripped his hand tightly.

“I would go even if ya didn’t ask.” After taking a deep breath, Mc began to ascend the stars as quickly as they dared after the duo, gripping Mammon’s hand. Upon arriving at the top, Mc swallowed nervously as they were greeted with an all too familiar sight. The metallic, enchanted bars looked newer than the last time they had seen them. Lucifer was currently standing behind them holding Satan. Standing as tall as they dared, Mc spoke up.

“Lucifer. What do you think you’re doing?” Their voice came out weaker than intended. Satan had never seen them so fearful. Sweat glistened on their forehead. As Lucifer turned around to face them, they stumbled back a little.

“This does not concern you, Mc. I thought I made it clear that I did not need a human meddling in my affairs.” Anytime Lucifer moved even a little, Satan noticed they seemed ready to dive to the ground or throw their hands over their head.

“Satan is my friend. I’m here for him. We can talk about this.” Their voice wavered.

“What part of leaving my private affairs alone do you not understand? You are merely an attendant. I have attempted to speak to Satan in the past. This hasn’t worked before. It will not work now.” Lucifer shook Satan a little. He growled.

“I understand you don’t want me to be part of that, and that’s fine, but I know a more healthy and less, uh, strenuous way of communicating. If you would just listen to me-“ Mc gently patted the air as a way of showing they were trying to tone down the situation.

“I will not repeat myself again. If Satan wants to act like an animal, I will treat him like one. Since you seem so keen on talking, I’ll just throw you in there with him. If you’re still alive when I return, I’ll consider it.” Lucifer moved Satan to hold him with one hand. As they reached for Mc, they went into a flurry of movement.

“No!” The shriek they let out pierced even the ears of Lucifer. They grabbed onto anything and everything to get between them and Lucifer. They continued to scream loudly, telling Lucifer to stay back. The only thing that truly proved a barrier between Lucifer and the human was Mammon. He seemed shaken by everything, but refused to move.

“Luci. I love ya and yer the best older brother I coulda wanted, but doncha think this is too far?” Mammon crossed his arms, hiding Mc behind himself.

“I warned them already. It’s time they pay the consequences of their actions. Humans are bad news.” Lucifer tried to reach around Mammon, but he caught his arm. Without another word, Lucifer grabbed Mammon’s arm right back and threw him over the edge and down the staircase. With him out of the way, Lucifer easily grabbed the human by the throat. They abruptly stopped making any noise. He shook them a little, seemingly enjoying how they swayed under his grasp and then threw both the entities in his hands into the attic. The door slammed shut and Lucifer disappeared. He could be heard yelling at the bottom of the stairs at Mammon.

For the first ten minutes, Satan wasn’t even sure if Mc was alive. They held completely still and remained exactly how they had been throw in. They were on their side facing away from him. Once Satan was sure nobody was coming back, he crawled over to them. He flipped them onto their back and was met with their familiar face. They quickly made eye contact with him, holding it. They way they stared at him made Satan nervous. Now was not the time to be getting butterflies. The attic was barren. There was no bed, or hundreds of spare boxes. There was little besides a layer of dust and what seemed to be some of Diavolo’s old things.

Satan ghosted his hand over their forehead. They were sweaty. He didn't know what to say. Mc was always better at dealing with emotions, but he knew they needed him. He thought back to what they would do after he had a meltdown. "Does anything hurt?" He first asked. They didn't do anything at first. He just sat and waited for them to respond, because sometimes he didn't respond right away either.

"Just my feelings." Mc cracked a smile. He was glad that they were feeling good enough to try to joke, but he also wasn't sure what he would have done if they had said they were physically hurt.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" That was the next thing Mc always said to him.

"Did you ever read that one book about the stars that I gave you?" He was taken by surprise by the question.

"I did." He had really liked it.

"Let's look out the window then, and you can point out your favorite stars." They pushed themself up with a wince. He held a hand out, to which they accepted without thought. They had lied to him about not being hurt. They leant the window sill as he began explaining what he had read. Eventually, he let Mc begin to explain things he had questions about. Again, he found himself looking at them instead of the stars. The lengths they went for him were beyond him.

He wasn't sure how to approach confessing how he felt. Now didn't feel like the right time. For now, he could just admire and appreciate them. Hopefully, that day would come...

#obey me #obey me! #obey me satan #obey me x reader #obey me asmo #obey me levi #obey me belphie #obey me mammon #obey me beel #obey me lucifer

[thisismeracing]

King of my heart | MS47 | Part. 21

― Pairing: Mick Schumacher x Hamilton!reader (she/her) ― Warnings: curse words, Twitter environment, mention of food, not proofread, etc, etc. Minors DNI! ― Summary: After the Qata GP Yn and some friends decide to go on a mini vacation before the next racing weekend, but different from other times she keeps her phone close and makes sure she’s sharing how things are happening through her lenses. ―  A/n: none of the pictures used are mine, they are all from Pinterest and other apps. Everything else is made up by me, and I do not allow it to be published on a different platform. I would appreciate it if those things could be taken into consideration 💛

⁕ part 20 | series masterlist | part. 22 ⁕ my masterlist | my taglist here ⁕ Support my writing by reblogging, and leaving me a message 🤍

theofficialyn

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theofficialyn qatar dumpppp 💙

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russellsaint yes, babe, but you're really gonna ignore the make-out pics?

⤷ schumini47 omg leave her alone!!!! 🙄🙄

lewishamilton I look good 😙

⤷ landonorris yeah and I look awful, what in the hec, yn??!

⤷ theofficialyn I am still learning, lan!!!!! 😔

swiftleclerc it's so weird seeing her and lando, like out of all the drivers she included lando on her dump?!

⤷ princessyn they're friends, she posted about him while in Miami too, there's nothing new. plus, he was on the podium

⤷ keepupwhamiltons lando is close with lewis too, I think they're friends way before we know 🤷🏼

tracklimitss IS THAT CORINNA ON THE LAST PIC??

mickyn in my head the second pic is mick, let me live in delusion, bye

sainzfrance those shoes are fireee 🔥

masoncity no signs of mase on the likes 👁️👁️

⤷ chelseablues this is so weird, get a life (I'm curious too, lmk if he shows up)

mickshoemaker I am so relieved to see she's posting, for a second I thought she would deactivate after those pap pics

franciscac.gomes linda! 💗

mickschumacher

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mickschumacher been ridin' harleys in Hawaii lately

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gina_schumacher I look cute 🥰

⤷ theofficialyn you’re always cute 🩷

⤷ pierregasly franciscac.gomes where are you to comment I look cute too?

⤷ charles_leclerc pierre looks cute too!! ☝🏻

⤷ grandmonza they're so funny omg complete chaos LOL

pophamilton SOFT LAUNCHING YN FINALLY!!!!

mickandyn I prayed for moments like this

mercmick I love how it's really a dump, there's no color aesthetic behind, just the pictures ❤️

lewishamilton out of all the pictures?

⤷ theofficialyn shut up, I was the one who chose it 🥺

⤷ moonsainz OMG SHE CHOSE IT WDHSKJHKLSDFHJKJHF

ferrarihoax where are the girlies who were saying Yn was dating mason?? LOL

franciscac.gomes wait for meeee, I'll get there tomorrow 🫠

⤷ theofficialyn I'll include you on my dump, kika 💗

⤷ tsunodaalpine I love how she's interacting with every comment as if it was her own post

mercedesamgf1 see you guys on Thursday! 🫡

malibucyrus I understand the fuss with yn and mick, but can we also appreciate how yn and gina are close? mickyn is literally my fav ship because you can see how there's so much love their families can't help but fall too ❤️

mickschumacher

liked yb charles_leclerc, normani, and others

mickschumacher through my eyes 🤍

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estebanocon ❤️ really happy for you, mate!

mercedesamgf1 finally!!!! 😍

⤷ alpinepierre LMAO

theofficialyn thank you for loving me the way you do 🤍

⤷ mickschumacher thank YOU for letting me love you ❤️

minimacher47 the way she’s looking at him in the second pic, that’s what we’ve been talking about. It must have been so hard for them to hide it 😭

monzaart mick, share more pics with the class, I beg you

albonno he’s such a simp

mercciado it’s over for us bitches

marvelmercedes the hold he has on her jaw, I- oop 🫦

georgerussell63 I’m gonna pretend I’m surprised ❤️

⤷ rodeoricciardo he‘s such a little shit, I love him lol

danielricciardo mick.jpg when?

theofficialyn

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theofficialyn through my eyes 🤍

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lewishamilton luv u, guys ❤️

⤷ hammertimme if they have Lewis’ blessing who are we to be against?

franciscac.gomes I’m so happy for you!!! You deserve all the love 💕

mickschumacher ❤️ you and me, always

⤷ theofficialyn always ❤️

⤷ 1dferrari crying, shaking, giggling, throwing up, grinning like a devil

landonorris 🧡

mclatas him with angie, him holding flowers, him napping omg thank you for your service, Yn!!!!

norrissza he’s really boyfriend material, I have the proof, I have it printed! *toto’s voice*

gina_schumacher 😍😍😍 officially family yayy!!

⤷ zendaya44 wdym officially? Are they’re about to marry?

⤷ charleslepole idc, whatever gina says its the law. If she’s saying Yn’s oficially family she is!! 💋

lewissunshine I can’t wait for this Sunday!!!!!!

lilyhme so precious 🩷

charles_leclerc I was so scared I would spill it by accident, finally!!!

⤷ pierregasly SAME!

charles_leclerc I love you two btw

roscoelovescoco I’s approvess 🥰

⤷ braziliangp I wonder if this was Lewis or Yn who typed it LOL

taglist: @sachaa-ff @ferrariloverr @mickslover @fdl305 @mishaandthebrits @iloveyou3000morgan @crimeshowjunkie @saintslewis @carojasmin2204 @chaoticevilbakugo @wondergirl101ks @shhhchriss @smiithys @f1kota @lunnnix @leclercsluv @baby-is-crying @karmabyfernando @crashingwavesofeuphoria @v1naco @elliegrey2803 @he6rtshaker @therealcap @mehrmonga @thatgibbsygirl @the-depressed-fellow @cixrosie @darleneslane @buckybarnessweetheart @minkyungseokie @nichmeddar

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