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blorbocedes · 3 months

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i kinda have a basic idea Brocedes lore, like the timeline and everything. but were there moments post Monaco 2014 till the end of 2016 where Lewis and Nico had some nice and genuinely fun moments or were they all awkward and distant with each other?

the answer to this is complicated. well, my header gif happened months after monaco 14, in Abu Dhabi 14. so this is nico congratulating lewis for winning his 2nd championship (1st with merc) and its way after lewis said "we're not friends." so like all things brocede they're.. Like That (whyre u holding a man you're not friends with by the nape of his neck 😳😳😳🤨)

Ladies and gentlemen, a short look into the not so distant past...

obviously every year as the silver war progressed, tensions arose but that didn't mean they couldn't stand to look at each other. those 3 years of early merc domination era HAM-ROS were on every podium, and they were pretty happy spraying champagne on each other as I've documented here, and here

this is a video from December 2015 stars and cars where they're being very playful and teasing each other

this is them wishing each other happy birthday in 2015

this is nico on lewis' snapchat

this is nico playing football on lewis' snapchat (you can hear lewis snicker)

this is lewis lowering nico's chair on purpose in 2015

this is nico umm pretending to hold a bottle for lewis to pee in while DR live slug reacts Hungarian Grand Prix 2016

this is them giggling together at a sponsor event in 2016

this is them teasing each other about being old in 2016

there's definitely podiums and cool-down rooms where things are Tense and they're Avoiding Eye Contact/Talking to each other, depending on how the race went. but there's also them amused and laughing together such as mexico 16 and aus 16

we all remember the iconic nico throws cap at lewis but the crazy part is this was them hugging moments before,

and this is them partying together after that

this is AD16 and lewis is saying he likes presscons when it's just him and nico 🥲

this whole press con is ahhhhhh. pain

lewis' own words on how they were:

this isn't an exhaustive list, there's many more, but rather so you have an idea that although the popular narrative is once lewis said we're not friends post monaco 14 they never looked at each other again it's not exactly true. things never was like they're childhood besties again, but they also didn't outright despise each other despite what fandom might speculate. but that doesn't mean things weren't awkward and tense too, esp in merc meetings post race! cause it was! but they also had some sweet and fun moments in between :) such is the bittersweet nature of brocedes

#oops this got long 😅 and it's still not Everything I just got embarrassed at the length #have fun clicking through the links #silver war #nico rosberg #lewis hamilton #brocedes #blorbocedes ask #a small silver war primer I guess

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50cal-fullauto-astarion · 6 months

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Blah blah blah, massive jerking off motion, sugar daddy Colonel König with a f!reader!30 year old, established sugar baby doing it for a laff fic bullet point idea I've been bullshitting around with under the cut:

Again, bc y'all know me, this is just my fuckin oc dressed up as a reader but yknow what whatever. It’s my maladaptive daydream and I’m generalizing enough to share it.

You’re a doctor of organic chemistry, working in pharmaceutical forensics at a lab that largely deals with multinational jurisdiction drug offenses for various state agencies. The work pays pretty well, as it’s government scale, but it is dull and repetitive.

To get your kicks, you sugar baby casually on a semi-regular to regular basis. It suits you. You’ve never established a meaningful long term relationship, flings come easily to you, and older would-be romancers have always taken interest in you in ways that people from your own age bracket haven’t.

Sex or no, it all depends on who is approaching you, the decision ultimately yours.

And they don’t have to provide monetarily, no. You’re well established, more than that even. Once they understand that aspect of you, they shift their approach, and that’s when the fun starts.

Gifts, trips, concerts, dinners—whatever you want, all of it a discreet text away.

None of your entanglements last terribly long. You’re off-putting, in your way, your mannerisms, your directness. Most of your paramours find that it doesn’t click for them. If you’re having sex, it doesn’t matter how mind blowing it is—usually for your partner, though you’ve had the occasional winner—one way or another it ends. And you have been the one to end it, especially when you feel it growing strained and pointed toward what services you provide your temp partners. You’re no stranger to the sudden and surgical cut.

One such situation leads a Colonel to a spot at your feet.

One of the dudes who wandered into your carousel was Declan O’Conor, of KorTac. He’d been intrigued by your intensity at first, and the sex was some of the best he’d ever had, though you thought he lacked skills in foreplay. He was generally brusque however, and tended to ignore the trade of attention and gifts in favor of his desires, which left you cold and unimpressed.

gonna be real, i left off here like two days ago, and i'm 2 hours into my last work day before my weekend, so i'm not bothering with extra detail, we're wheelin' and dealin' now, lads.

a certain colonel gets a hold of your email through declan, a nanosecond before you dump declan's ass. the timing? immaculate. the colonel could not have done better. isn't he fucking lucky.

he's heard declan bragging about his new bird. she's smart, she's discreet, she fucks like a succubus. she doesn't even want money, or a relationship. shit, she doesn't even care if you're married or have kids, she wants no part of your real life. she just wants fun and stimulation.

well. ain't that just what the colonel is looking for, he lies to himself. könig is almost half convinced you're an escort dressed up as a woman looking for a good time, but what the fuck does he know. and from what he's gathered, the way people approach you is myriad, but you're picky as for how long things go on.

he's drowned at work, has no desire to go bar crawling or trying to pick up a dumbass hobby to try and meet someone, and he, if he's honest with himself, does not have the time to dedicate to an actual relationship, is mildly horrified at the idea of using an app to date, and is approaching his mid 40s. his work is too demanding, he travels too much, he's too burnt out. fun sounds fun.

he shoots off the email.

what he gets in return: "interesting that o'conor seems to be recommending me around, as that's not part of the agreement. but i'll meet you. tell me when you're next in berlin, and we'll set a date. should it cross your mind, bring me something interesting."

smth smth, time moves on, you end up meeting up with him for dinner. he insisted. he knew a place. you hoped like hell it wasn't some overblown officer's club. that shit was always dead boring and full of the most disgusting braggadocio you've heard in your life. testosterone beating off against testosterone, trying to find out which one nuts first.

but, nah. he hauls you to a korean bbq joint that's a real down and dirty hole in the wall, and immediately you're impressed. the food is amazing. it's quiet. he is ENORMOUS, but has an air of cinders about him.

you can tell he used to run off rage, almost solely. it must've burned down over the years, or his fuel had taken a hit that it could never recover from. he's tired. he's looking for ease.

he wears a gaiter covering the bottom half of his face and neck, and you find it curious as the dinner starts, your booth in the far back, away from prying eyes.

thought it was for your comfort. he'd already spoken of your discretion, that he was well aware, and interested in the same. his position in his org is high up, he works with sensitive info, his clearance is big time spooky. things you're familiar with from your own work.

he calls his work security, and you call your own science. it is enough.

he warns you about his facial scarring before the meal begins, giving you the choice to avoid seeing him eat, and you turn down that offer. "i can assure you that i've seen worse," you say, confident, unshaken at what he might be hiding. your history is a darkness, it runs deep, and ruin is not unfamiliar to you.

he seems pleased, or at least mollified, and pulls down the gaiter. the lower half of his face is a wreckage, almost at odds with the wheat colored curls - all shot through with silvery-gray - tied into a tail at the base of his skull, and the blue of his bag-bruised eyes. a botched cleft lip surgery, exposing big, fuck-around-find-out teeth in a scar that leaves him always snarling. rippling burn scars crawling up from his ravaged neck, pulling at the corner of his eye.

at least he will eat, if nothing else.

it is one of the rare times he will allow you to see this.

at the end of the meal, after some good conversation, dancing light around heavy realities, secrets that can't be told, you sit back and watch him with curiosity-heavy eyes, a contentedly full stomach, the foot of your crossed leg hovering in the air between you under the table.

he's pulled his gaiter back up, peeling euro bills off a fat clip he pulls from his pocket, dropping them on the table, overpaying the meal. perhaps the privacy. perhaps the server. perhaps the flash of it.

"i didn't forget," he laughs, voice still higher than you'd expected, but rasping and rough as gravel churning mud and blood.

"apologies. i'm impatient. it is my nature."

"hah. have that in common, then, hm?" he laughs, going for another pocket.

usually, you expect jewelry on the first date. it hasn't been uncommon with the people you run with. perhaps even technology. you were afforded an iphone 14 pro max a month before they'd even come out, but you'd held onto it and resold it later.

and this fascinating könig pulls out a box, as well. you almost feel your stomach sink. you'd been hoping...well. it doesn't matter what you'd hope. and maybe it was foolish to harbor a small, chittering desire that he'd be different, after the turns your conversations took.

he plunks it down on the table in front of you, rapping two long, powerful fingers on the plain lid. it's not even that impressive of packaging. oh, your stomach churns with impending disappointment. sometimes these men end up cheap. you steel yourself, falling into your resolve.

a fossilized horse tooth is what is presented to you when you open the package, as well as a business card for a fossil and crystal dealer. you catch sight of a beaded bracelet on his wrist, carnelians.

"didn't know what sort of science you're in, but figured i couldn't go wrong with a fossil. or a horse. you have horse girl energy."

he's smirking. you tip your head back and cackle, mind flooded with your years on your school's equitation team and the summers you spent trekking across continents with your grandmother by horseback.

the energy shifts perfectly, and you pull your head down, beaming at him. running the toe of your heels up his calf under the table, you roll the fossil-black tooth between your fingers, following the grooves, feeling the age. this horse would've been about nine when it died. not bad for a wild thing. most of them didn't find the miracles of old age.

"what gave it away? the posture?"

"oh ja. jawohl. it's the posture. even leaned back, sit like you're setting your ass in a saddle."

"mhm. sounds like you've done some riding yourself."

"when i was younger, yes. half-sway-backed plow nag, though. nothing so fancy as what people might picture, with the accent."

"not everyone can afford warmbloods, it is true."

you fold the tooth into your closed hand, silence falling comfortable between you. and here it is.

"i think we should find a place for the night, don't you?" you ask, and you can see his mouth pull into a smirk under the mask.

"hah. good thing i thought ahead then. i booked a room--some place nice. you'll like it." his confidence would be off-putting. it should be off-putting. but it isn't. it's almost a relief. it's definitely a turn on. he's not feeling out your approval, at least not visibly.

you were both looking for fun. and perhaps you've found it. at the very least, he is not treating this as a fight to be won. maybe he would not've been crushed or vitriolic if the night ended with nothing further, ever again. you don't know. you let him help you into your coat, and into a cab, and you find your flesh-ripping want yelling louder and louder with his arm draped casually across the back of the seat behind you.

and good christ, does can he fuck.

okidoke, i'm cutting this one here, sry. i will probably continue it more formally (? idk) later once i've worked on some other stuff, but i wanted to get this one out, yeehaw. hope u enjoyed!

#konig #könig #call of duty #cod mw2 #mw2 #konig mw2 #konig call of duty #konig x reader #my work #my hcs #??? don't know boss this has just been rattling in my head forever

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pigeonwhumps · 1 year

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Diaries of Eloise and Agatha Stanbury and Ira Waterhouse

Taglist: @painful-pooch (also @octopus-reactivated and @maracujatangerine since your actor pet post sparked this idea I'm tagging you too! Even though there isn't much acting whump actually in this, only the characters...)

Recently digitised diary entries of former pets Eloise and Agatha Stanbury, and their guardian Ira Waterhouse. All three were British pet liberation activists in the early to mid 20th century. These entries are from before they set up the Dockside Boarding House, commonly regarded as the first and longest-running safehouse in Britain.

[note from Calixte Văduva, Assistant Archivist to Raphael Fiori, Apprentice Digital Assistant: take out longest-running, you idiot. You want people to know where they live?]

1.7k

CWs: BBU, pet whump, film whump, recovery whump, broken jaw mention, non-con nudity (non-sexual) mention, PTSD, whipping mention, gagged mention, kidnapping mention, beating mention

Diary of Eloise Stanbury, January 1927 - August 1928

Related topics: Eloise Stanbury, Agatha Stanbury, Ira Waterhouse, Pet Liberation History, World Pet History, 1920s Britain, Social History, British Diaries

Transcribed by Calixte Văduva, Assistant Archivist at Rising Sun Bay Archive, Rising Sun Bay, ON

1st of January 1927

Dear Diary,

Agatha is teaching me to rede and rite, and as it is a new year I am of a mind to rite down sum of my thorts. I am asured this is entirely privat. We shall see.

Master's film studio went bankrupt last month. I cannot express how relieved I am. Surely now they will stop serching for us. I hope so. If we ar found we ar ded, I no this. The collaps has, however, stirred up my memories and the titeness in my gut again.

One of my strongest memories of the studio is wen we filmed propaganda during the Great War. It was the only time Agatha and I wer involved in filming for the war effort, but it was time enuf. Agatha and I spent ar time not filming counting the ways the film munishons factory treated pets differently to ar real one. And Agatha sumhow laffed so hard, she disrupted the paid crew and snorted thin gruel out her nose.

Then the camera operator broke her jaw so she culd not disturb them agen. It was okay, cos she did not need to talk and they only needed to film her back anyway, but then Master bete her later for showing him up, until she culd barely work. That part was wors.

My dremes ar confusing, full of fire and drowning even tho I was never in the fire. Ira ses it's cos I am so scared of fire. Agatha ses it's cos I almost drowned. I am not so sure of either. Maybe it is a punishment, for burning down the studio. Maybe I should not hav dun that. I am a free pet but a pet nonetheless, and arson is a crime.

Agatha's braver than me. She makes me braver too. I would never have dared laff before she was rented to Master, let alone run. I'm not sure the defians was always good for her tho. She has many scars, inside and out. I luv her, scars and all, but I don't no how she can be so brave.

There was a servis on Christmas for the local heros of the Great War. Mr Foster was mentioned. That scares me. He scares me, and I do not understand how Agatha is not scared. He was her owner for over a decade, after all.

She scoffed at that, wen I asked. She sed that there's no reason for her to be afrade, and she wuld like to find and thank the soldier who killed Mr Foster. She also sed he's not a hero. I think she should be careful. We didn't see the body. Wat if he comes back?

It's stupid. I no it's stupid. Even if he was still alive he'd hav better things to do than come after Agatha. He'd hav to, right? And I am grateful that he's ded. If he wasn't, I may not hav been abl to stay with Agatha after the Great War ended. It just feels wrong to celebrate so much wen we never saw a body.

Ira's talking about buying a bording hous, away from here. We're so close to the site of the new National Pet Training Centre, and it feels like there ar inspectors around every corner now. Also I do not understand half of wat Ira says about lacking in the gud food and spase, cos this is the best I hav ever eaten and I can live on far less, but I think that is also a reason. I do not no why a bording hous tho. I am scared to move, this is the safest I hav ever felt, but I will hav Agatha and Ira, and I will not go back to being a pet.

My name is Eloise Stanbury, sister, possibly, to Agatha Stanbury, ward of Ira Waterhouse, and I am a free woman.

Eloise Stanbury

Diary of Agatha Stanbury, October 1926 - February 1927

Related topics: Agatha Stanbury, Eloise Stanbury, Ira Waterhouse, Pet Liberation History, World Pet History, 1920s Britain, Social History, British Diaries

Transcribed by Calixte Văduva, Assistant Archivist at Rising Sun Bay Archive, Rising Sun Bay, ON

26th of December, 1926

Dear Diary,

Eloise asked me yesterday whether I am still afraid of Mr Foster. I think I managed to convince her that I am not, but we shall see. She has enough on her plate without worrying about me too. She's terrified already, and if she knows I am scared it will make her worse.

I am scared, though. So scared. Mr Foster is dead but I cannot forget everything he did to me. The decade when clothes were an extremely rare occurrence, when I almost forgot my own name. He once claimed that training was half the fun in owning a pet, and it showed. I came to London for the season and was kidnapped to be his pet instead. The scars are never going to leave me.

I cannot sleep alone in the dark anymore. I used to love it, until Mr Foster, but now it's like I cannot get my mind out of his house. Even after being owned by Mr Hayes instead for over ten years I cannot do it. How can it be legal to leave a person in your will, anyway? I confess that the lack of pet owning in my parents' circles has left me rather ignorant in the matter, but it still seems wrong.

Mr Foster was terrifying. He still is. I see him in half the faces on the streets, when I am brave enough to leave the house. Eloise says I'm brave, but I am not so sure. If I was so brave, surely Mr Foster's rules and sadism would not still be so affecting?

Ira does not agree with me. She says it is perfectly reasonable, that soldiers still have shell shock so why shouldn't I be affected by being scarred? I am unsure what to do with that.

I have fought, but it was not a war. Soldiers are not caged naked and gagged with horrible experimental gags, or whipped and beaten by sadists. They are not scarred on film simply because the starring pet is too valuable to be damaged herself.

That sounds like I blame Eloise. I do not. None of this was her fault. I hope, if I had ever become an actor as a person, I would have paid attention to the pets forced to perform, but most likely I wouldn't. I try not to think about that.

Mr Foster still haunts me, awake and asleep. Eloise does not know. She cannot know. She has enough nightmares of her own, and I do not want to wake her up from mine. I am so, so glad Mr Foster is dead, and I think (I hope) that Eloise thinks that is all I am. I told her the truth, just not the whole truth. I really would like to thank the soldier who killed Mr Foster. But I also wish I was not constantly so scared.

With love

Agatha Stanbury

Diary of Ira Waterhouse, December 1926 - October 1927

Related topics: Ira Waterhouse, Agatha Stanbury, Eloise Stanbury, Pet Liberation History, World Pet History, 1920s Britain, Social History, British Diaries

Transcribed by Calixte Văduva, Assistant Archivist at Rising Sun Bay Archive, Rising Sun Bay, ON

Wednesday, December 8th, 1926

Not content with having a London office, the WRU are now building a large training centre nearby. It's too close. Far too close. The numbers of inspectors and recapture officers are increasing daily it seems like now work has started, and my girls haven't left the house for days. Even when they do, they come back spooked, especially Eloise. If she was a cat, her hair would stand on end constantly.

The supporters of this new 'pet' class claim that it's entirely voluntary. Maybe for some it is. Maybe they really believe that. But if you're signing a lifetime contract, and being given a drug that's supposed to induce amnesia, making you more compliant and reliant on your owners, I'm not sure that it counts.

It is not always voluntary, anyway. A few weeks ago, Agatha told me her story of being kidnapped into it. How she tried to show an inspector her lack of a seller's mark and number, and he had her tattooed for a bribe. There must be others like her. As bad as the pet trade is, it feels even worse without even the pretence of volunteering.

We need to move. We are so close to the training centre, and one day our house is sure to be inspected. The girls will certainly be taken and killed, with no regard to even Agatha's kidnapping (I have my suspicions about her upbringing but I cannot find any living relatives in the society pages). And I won't come out of it well either.

I have been thinking of starting a boarding house. There must be others like my girls in need of a kind hand and an escape from the wretched pet system. I had to stop giving Agatha cleaning chores because she'd tremble in fear until I declared the house spotless, and Eloise sometimes stays in one spot for hours, forgetting that she is allowed and able to move. Even, maybe especially, if she's uncomfortable. They are both scarred, inside and out, and I'm sure there are others who could use a safe place to stay, at the very least.

I haven't brought my idea up to either of the girls yet, although I feel certain that neither would object to it. They're both kind people, although Eloise wouldn't like me calling her that. She gets prickly when anyone except Agatha says nice things about her.

If Eloise was an animal, she would definitely be a cat.

Ira Waterhouse

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bredforloyalty · 16 days

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in relation to this addition mostly btw, to give context. i want to stress that i try to avoid passing judgment, it's why i didn't say "evil child self" is a fucking bonkers thing to say or equating him with his father who beat him is too far. they are bonkers trains of thought but ultimately i'm sympathetic because i feel that we're in the same boat, when we post and listen to and read about Some Fuckin Guy. i'm not here to judge or go hurr durr you're even more abnormal about it than me

and as i said i'm delusional too i'm playing and indulging myself too but well. i do think it's best to remember that how celebs seem is not who they are. one person's narrative is not the truth. nor is the narrative you picked up. i have fun w it as long as it's fun and i'm aware of myself, is my bottom line. i make a post, i don't intend to start a noel gallagher hate train (💀), it's funny though and i get where it's coming from but i'm just here to have a laff, as we all should imo!! elicit emotions just bc i can! connect dots that appear to me but not to everyone else! i don't think of the version of their relationship that is in my head or that interests me as the real thing, like, real people with decades of history between them are infinitely more complex, it's important to me that i'm not uncovering some truth. more along the lines of interpreting an abstract painting

#kata.txt #oasis

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watching-pictures-move · 1 year

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Put On Your Raincoats | Forced Entry (Costello, 1973)

If there's one bit of levity about Shaun Costello's Forced Entry, it's that the poster makes the hilt of the knife look like a giant mountie hat floating over Harry Reems' head. If there's another bit of levity you can find here, it's that if you want, you can read the tagline like a punchline. I mean, it's pretty awful, but if you try real hard and deliver it just right, you can maybe squeeze a few chuckles out of it. I dunno, the exclamation mark is kinda funny, sorry. And there's a guy who looks like if David Cross wore a hairpiece. Okay, that's about all there is in terms of laffs, and what I'm trying to get across is that this is a monumentally unpleasant movie, that plays out as vilely and noxiously as the premise allows.

If there is one arguably morally redeeming factor here, it's that its hard to picture anyone getting off on this. I've seen my share of roughies, and while they're often depicting acts that would be monstrous in real life, they'll usually find ways to play things less unpleasantly and more overtly titillating. Not here (and one can read the ending as a rebuke to the genre). The camera is almost always pushed up too close, into the anguished faces of the victims, from uncomfortable low angles so we're trapped with them. (One of the few times it pulls back, it begins to zoom in and out from the dreaded under the balls angle, as if to rub our faces in the participants' pasty, pallid posteriors as they fill the screen.) And if you kinda, sorta begin to find snippets of this arousing, the movie delivers on its premise of graphic murder and, as a bonus, hits you with documentary footage of the Vietnam War, combat scenes and real corpses presented as the vilest of punchlines. This is real dark side cinema.

There is some semblance of cinematic style here, in the way it finds a certain rhythm between the street scenes, the documentary footage and the pornographic and violent elements, and even blatant cost-cutting methods like the recycled audio ("Scummy hippies! Fucking hippies coming in my station!" repeated like "Dental plan" / "Lisa needs braces") arguably add to the sense of psychological isolation. But the overall crudeness of the film's style adds to its impact, stretches of boredom punctuated by truly pungent rape scenes, the film stock seemingly being torn apart by the sheer vileness of what transpires. A hard movie to look at. A hard movie to look away from.

#film #put on your raincoats #movie review #forced entry #shaun costello

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meezer · 1 year

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succession s4e5 spoilers

okay I'm gonna liveblog it all in this post. or try to.

GOD KENDALL SOOO IS IN HIS CUNT ERA AND I'M SO HAPPY. HE'S FLOURISHING AND IT'S TAKING ME TO ANOTHER PLANE OF EXISTENCE TO EVEN SEE IT

shiv is looking so good this episode holy shit the vest omg THE LEATHER JACKET HOLY FUUU

the inquisitive and pensive kendall..... endangered creature

unrelated to anything he did but. me and my friends would have killed hugo with hammers I can tell you that much

he's so angelic like a tulip encased in new frost

GAHAHAHAHAH KENDAAALL I feel like a protective mother over this. ce ai făcut ken unde ai călcat în noroi??

THIS JACKET HOLY FUCK. OKAY. NEED. HE ZIPPED UP THE CUNTY JACKET WHAT A SERVE

GAHAHAHAHAH. I'm so obsessed with this outfit goddd the glasses are so cunty too

WILLA IS IN HER MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS PRIMADONNA GIRL SLAY

GDSGJDKFJKL TOMMMM

oh okay so basically, mattson should kill himself

KENDALL!!!!!! he looks like a seal in the second pic JKLGDSJKG EMILY UNDERSTOOD WHAT I MEANT. YOU CAN SEE IT TOO RIGHT? I'm saying it as a compliment if it wasn't already obvious btw I would light a cigarette near a box of dynamite for him so.

god mattson is making me SO uncomfortable he's like. hanging out with a weird socially inept computer engineering major. sorry HE'S MAKING ME SO UNCOMFORTABLE. NOT JUST THE SHIV JOKE (THOUGH ALSO THAT YES VERY MUCH SO) BUT JUST THE VIBES GOD WHAT IS GOING ON.

"shareholders won't, like--"

"can I just interrupt--

"I'd rather you didn't but--"

"--you right there?"

"you already did, so..."

AND THEN THE "can I interrupt you and just say 'fuck off'?" HOLY FUUUCK GFDLJKGJDKFLJKGFD

stfuuuu his eyes BRO.

HAHAHHA "we keep one of his old sweaters, less racist" SHIVVVVVV THAT WAS SO FUNNY

SHIIIIIIT GREG DOING SPY WORK. HOLY FUCK. SPY ERA!!! started from the bottom now we're here...... AND NOW HE'S TRYING TO GET THE ROYS TO SPILL THE BEANS AND THEY'RE HAVING NONE OF IT JKGLFDKJGDFKGJDLGDKFH FAILBOY

hey mattson you should kill yourself NOW.

II'M LAUGHING SO HARD AT TOM AND GREG'S ANTICS HE DIDN'T HAVE TO PUT HIM ON THE SPOT LIKE THAT..... LAFF

OH MY GOD WHEN THEY MAKE FUN OF THEM IN SWEDISH THAT WAS BRUTAL. AND IT'S SUBTITLED BUT THE CHARACTERS DON'T KNOW WHAT'S BEING SAID. AND THEN KENDALL SAYS

ahahahHAHAHAHAHAHHA THE FOURTH WALL BRO THE FOURTH WALL. HOLY SHITTTT

KEN TAKING OFF HIS GLASSES AND GETTING SERIOUS AND GOING "you wanna do this here?" OH SHIT HE'S GOT HIS GAME FACE ON IT'S GETTING SERIOUS. LET'S DO THIS MY BROTHER

THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY MATTSON JUST USED VAULTER AGAINST KENDALL FUCK YOUUUU FUCK YOUR WHOLE LIFE

a local greg has been spotted talking to jess

my brother kendall and his brother roman WAIT OHHH MY GOD? HE WANTS TO ? ? ? OKAY. OKAYYYYY

bro is ethereal OKAY THEY WON'T LET ME DO ANYMORE IMAGES GKLJDSJKGSDLKJF THEY WANT TO SILENCE US. we must overthrow the culture of corruption that silences women. fear not brave warriors I will be back.

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simmonsized · 2 years

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!!!

I’m so glad I chose that one. You know I would read that immediately once you’re done. I think you’re trying to kill me though, being all miss zuipperpips about dogwoods are comin’ in blue.

I thought it was a pretty amazing coincidence! you managed to sniff out the one little section I included from that, haha!

as for dogwoods comin' in blue, it is just. I just have a lot of feelings about them, and i didn't know how to explain without sounding insane, which i definitely DO btw however because at this point you are fairly aware of how insane I am about these two, I will put the actual words i said before i wrote the fic itself beneath the cut c:

PS it is named for the song, "Good Day for Marrying You". Yes I am that sappy.

Direct copy/paste from discord warning:

me shuffling my papers where i say things like "i think bro and mom would get platonically married literally just for laffs but then also somehow take it so fucking seriously i mean they go to vegas and get married by elvis but then they also go to the courthouse and start filing joint taxes and putting away retirement funds and 401ks i mean it's SO serious like they are not kissing they're not but they ARE wearing wedding rings and they ARE legally married and bro definitely is like, i mean if we're post canon and they're alive he's definitely too busy and tired to be kissing BUT if we're talkin au he's like, definitely dtf whoever but like doesn't go out of his way to correct people who flip if he's married and cares more about getting dave through college also yes they're like 40 by the time they get married rose and dave have moved out and i don't even think mom and bro live together but they're also definitely not legally separated and celebrate their anniversary every year by going on a "honeymoon" type situation and send photos to dave and rose that are like, taken by a professional photographer and it's just rly good like that is how much i think they love each other literally THAT much" but then i don't say that bc yes it's my deranged hot girl summer but it's not THAT deranged of a hot girl summer

(and then it DID in fact become THAT deranged of a hot girl summer)

the fic itself is basically like, 500 times that bro asks mom to marry him, and 499 times she says no btw. I also wrote it in-line with RnG canon for some reason. It is like, secretly just the rng world but i made it so that one day they get married. idk, u and me are both perplexed by this. i cannot be stopped however.

here is more for u, because i actually secretly want to talk about this all the time:

"Marry me," you say for the first time, thirty-three and half and insane out of your mind with a grief that just barely belongs to you. You lie on your back on a futon in Houston, Texas, and your best friend sits on your stomach, trapping your arms on either side. Her eyebrows arch immediately, face splitting in half with a grin. She laughs, pink and beautiful as she's always been, and throws the blanket you were fighting over around her shoulders like a cape, dipping down and pressing her lips to the corner of your mouth, smearing black grease across your cheek. "No, Dirk. Of course I won't." "I know," you say, rolling over and taking her with you as you crash to the floor.

anyway i'm terrible and would probably just go and go and go writing this nightmare if i did not have 15 other things i should be doing instead LOL

#not writing meme actually #just me being unhinged as always #here is a bunch of deserts lore u did not ask for

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hgduo · 2 years

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thinking about toontown worldbuilding from a realistic perspective makes it seem so much darker

for one: what would toontown school realistically teach?

other than "basic stuff" like language and mathematics, I would reckon:

first-aid

juggling lol

climbing, dodging, that sort of stuff?

possibly even something to do with making the gags?

a guide on who the enemy is?

geography class might involve the whole "the shadowy place is the cog HQs and you must not go there until you're older and trained enough to do so"

worldbuilding is wild here. you got explosives and portable giant train sets to run people over with. people that grow crops for food and for the gags (e.g. thrown pies and cakes, bamboo pole for the toon-up), shopkeepers and most likely everyday professions, etc.

so many of these jobs might not even have a close equivalent in real life, and even the closest real-life equivalent might be people that make and sell weapons, since… that's what a lot of gags are…

in other words, I attempt to Worldbuild my way through the backstory fic and now that's not even half a lifetime of trauma, that's arguably a non-stop full lifetime of unending trauma we're talking about here… with this context…

I'd reckon first-aid and toon-up are probably the same for them- and it is one of the first gag tracks a toon can chose to learn!

As for how they learn new gags- in game you do tasks to get tracks of film and when you collect enough you unlock a new gag- you can probably take this a lot of ways like them being shown how to use new tools when they've proven themselves or the idea of classes where they study as you mentioned!

Also that stuff about being taught is pretty spot-on tbh! When you start up the game after making your toon you go through the tutorial where you are taught who the cogs are, what they do, how to fight them, and warned not to let your laff meter reach zero. Again we don't know a whole lot about were toons come from aside from one-off lines and some cog attacks implying they're like living drawings- but it seems as soon as they're able too every toon is taught how to fight back against the seemingly endless threat of cogs- and in a way it can make a nice parallel.

Endlessly manufactured Cogs vs endlessly drawn toons... both sides unable to get a real edge on the other!

Also yes about the shadowy places thing-! So on the streets leading to HQ's there are signs that have a warning on them that you're headed toward a Cog HQ- and unlike the other signs leading to playgrounds the warning signs look very hastily put together and lack the charm and love put into the playground signs- they're very serious in contrast to those!

Also- If you're looking for some more little tidbits their were trading cards released when the original game was still up- the cards all have little descriptions and cover things from gags to cogs to npc toons and have drawings on them as well (some even show toons doing what looks like making gags so you may be on to something there!)- you can find them on the toontown wiki, I think most of them are just kinda silly but maybe you can find something interesting in those ^_^

#ask #answered #Aquaeclipse #life is endless war and hell for these silyl goofy little animal people <3 #for the younger toons its probably all they know! maybe thats why they're always able to be in such good spirits-#afterall a sad toon is a toon who can't fight (going by the laff meter that is)#(also to be fair- getting 'sad' in battle is probably not the same as sadness in general)#(... I think? Maybe? IDK?)#( I remember when I played through it I got the impression that the toons who are like shopkeepers and stuff were like-)#(older then the ones running doing active fighting- and most of these shopkeepers don't seem very good at fighting)#(judging by how often their building get overtaken by like a single cog walking in)#(so- they make sure to teach all young toons how to fight as soon as they can)#(it paints a kinda sad picture imo)#(... I can't believe I'm thinking about the worldbuilding and lore of toontown... but im not complaining lol!)#(also I dont think gags were always meant to be like- weapons- more like just everyday items that were repurposed)#toon!Q

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jlf23tumble · 2 years

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hi jen, can I ask u something? Ur one of the few blogs here that makes sense here and I was wondering [new to the fandom] is the "Mario Kart" interview really outed H&L as a verse couple? I know when to separate fiction to reality but I'm really just curious, I hope I dont come off as rude. I dunno, some peeps here tend to use that as "evidence" per se. My idiot mind actually thought the front/behind is like how they talk in interviews, like the frontman talks alot while the behindman is like the quiet one lmao, until one larrie # me saying, u know this is about who tops and who bottoms? Hope its okay 😅

Hey, full stop (heh), you can always ask me something, I don't mind! Anyway, yeah, this is an iconic moment, and it really DOES help if you watch the full interview in context, like, it's easy to get sucked into a gifset, but check it out, it's pretty clear what's goin' on (god bless sugarscape for always providing). I've listened to an anti podcast (anti larrie more than anti larry, if you catch my drift), and I seem to recall the hosts suggesting this could just be two straight boys havin' a laff in an interview, but come on, oh, zayn, we're all lookin' at you here, too.

#one direction #sure got up to some hijinks in early times #does the same energy apply today? no it does not!#what a time what a time what a time #one of my fave interviews of theirs because it's more than just that moment!#check out the cold bed line too!

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vympr · 3 years

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Sure he was a psycho, but was he actually taking care of his skin? Let's break down the iconic scene by rating the american psycho himself's skincare routine <3

#we're all just here for a laff #american psycho #patrick bateman #christian bale #skincare #my videos

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homosociallyyours · 2 years

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Why get mad about Coachella/things that anger you when you can laugh at a frankly ridiculous story about Zayn getting on a dating app looking specifically for a fat girlfriend?

And putting not only his exact location down but PICS AND VIDEOS, lmao

#we're not getting into the deep fatphobia aspect that makes this extra ridiculous #just the very idea of zayn being like DAMN i guess I'm getting on the apps to find hot young singles #obviously you're allowed to have whatever feelings you want about... whatever you want!!#but I'm up all night for good fun as the old song goes #anywayyyyy #hoping this post doesn't actually get noticed #bc sadly too many people refuse to have a cheeky little laff over the absolutely bonks shit that's out there #meanwhile I'm here for a good time AND a long time! so !!!!

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grraveryl · 5 years

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u kno that one video of the lady just typing away whilejust hitting her keyboard with random objects/?? that’s me trying to write for my rp blog like

idk what i’m doing i’m just throwing word salad about and hoping for the best :)

#becca.txt #like idk what i'm doing man it's nearly 3am #i can't be bothered getting stressed man we're all just here for a laff

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dyrwoodan · 5 years

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would love to hang out with my ocs tbh

#fern.txt #ocs.txt #i miss them #kaz and ravell are so fun to be around #i would love to get into a fight with caiwyn but then we would all laff it off #i want to include väe in our group and tell her nice things she needs to hear and tell he that she is enough :/#ok i've been sitting her for a sec longer trying to remember my other ocs but tbh #*here #these 4 bastards came to mind when i wrote this post and they mean a lot to me #you know what? lyrhis too. she's cool but not as fun as the others. but maybe in modern i can imagine her being a bit more fun #like i love my other ocs too but. y'know. we all have favorites eh #anyways #i imagined this.. au... i haven't gone there in a while #it's just a simple au where we are all here and we are having fun together and playing games and having sleepovers #and cooking and annoying each other and we're frens..............#yes i imagine having friends who are my own ocs instead of having actual irl friends. what about it #i'm so.. sad #i wish they were real #sometimes they do feel real tho #i just can't ever touch them or hug them :/

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uglypaw · 6 years

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why do people say magnus is trans? did that come up in an episode? is it confirmed by the creators?

nah not in canon, but a lot of people including me as a trans guy like to see trans man representation in a non-sexualized, highly-masculine coded character.

too often we see representations of trans men as these hyper feminized, “sexy” soft boys. and that’s cool, if you’re a feminine trans guy there’s nothing against you. i totally get the appeal! in mainstream media we never see feminine men, and being trans and being feminine aren’t mutually exclusive. i love trans taako as a concept, and he’s coded as being a very feminine gay man. everyone’s headcanons are valid.

but it’s refreshing to be able to project that idea of seeing this huge, macho hairy guy as a trans man because that’s what a lot of us are dealing with! not everyone is a super soft twink. some of us want to be big and strong and hairy and sweaty, and being able to relate to a character with as much development as magnus and being able to code him as trans is very important to a lot of people.

I personally love to see trans magnus because it fits in so well with his character, his desire to be strong and protect and “be a man” resonates deeply, both within me and within society as to what we see a “man” as. and overcoming that toxic idea of what masculinity is is a difficult journey for a lot of people – cis AND trans. but for magnus and as the audience seeing that journey played out over the course of Balance (magnus going from Rushing In dumbly to show his strength off to realizing true strength is being humble enough to ask for help) is really satisfying and heart warming as to what we should be teaching little boys as well.

so yeah this answer really got away from me lol but no, in canon magnus isn’t confirmed as trans but the brothers did say that you can interpret the characters however you want, and as a creator that’s how i choose to interpret him in my works. :+)

#ask #fuckkk this is long #I could write a whole essay on this topic fuckin watch me #stretching those old ap lang muscles right here #it's cool to headcanon characters however you want!! and like i'll change my headcanons depending on the situation lol #like. cmon. they're not real haha we're all just here for a laff xx #magnus burnsides #trans discourse

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