#we're sharing a brain anon because i too love this juxtaposition

[writerofshit]

Something about crushing idiots mutually pining over each other is so funny to me in fahc because it’s like, one of them lamenting to somebody else like what are the chances he likes me back, there’s no way!! And the other’s person’s just like “he literally took a bullet for you yesterday and you kissed on the way to the medic team” and they’re just like “yeah but what if that was just as friends I don’t wanna make it weird”

Let's be honest with ourselves, the 'other person' is literally always Jack. Occasionally it's Jack and Fiona, exchanging glances and shaking their heads at these oblivious morons.

Like... Jeremy's in the kitchen eating pizza or something, the ladies are planning the next 'Family Fun Day' and shooting down his numerous suggestions. ("Throwing smoke bombs on the pier is NOT Family Day appropriate."

"Who are you to tell me how to celebrate?"

"How he celebrates!" Fiona repeats mockingly, shaking her head.)

In walks Ryan, barefoot and still in pajama pants, even though it's 2pm. Immediately Jeremy straightens up and hides his pizza behind himself. "Hi Ryan! Gavin and I were talking to Matt about playing-"

"Can't." Ryan says, immediately turning red. "Um. Work. Planning."

"That's weird, Ryan." Jack pipes up. "We said no planning a heist until after we all take a week off."

Ryan just stares at her silently before grabbing a diet coke out of the fridge. "I have to go now." He says, avoiding any and all eyes in the room.

As soon as he's gone Jeremy slumps down again. "He hates me." He says, tone definitely not filled with self pity. "Did you see that? I asked him to play video games and he ran."

"Jeremy, oh my god." Fiona shakes her head. "Didn't you guys profess your undying love for each other like a week ago?"

"No! I mean... Yeah, but that was after he fell off a boat, and it was a Battle Buddies thing... I don't want to be weird about it."

Jack and Fiona just stare at each other in disbelief that someone could be that much of an idiot.

#anyhow i adore this ask so much #we're sharing a brain anon because i too love this juxtaposition #ks talks #anon #jeremwood