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swiftispunk · 2 months

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Han, bestie, I am obsessed with Your Summer Dream. It is seriously the best DBF!Joel fic I have come across. Because I am such a sap can I ask how they spent their first Valentine’s Say together since it’s tomorrow? Like what did they do? What did they get each other? Did they try anything kinky? 👀

non, i love you so much, thank you for reading and for loving ysd <3

i wouldn't call this a proper fic or anything...just some random thoughts about these two on valentine's day. i hope you like!

your summer dream, valentine's day thoughts

pairing: dad's buddy!joel miller x f!reader rating: 18+ word count: 1.7k warnings: fluff, consumption of alcohol, alternating pov, smut, bondage (come on handcuffs), unprotected piv, oral (m+f), ass play (it's them), and food play (whipped cream is either dairy or non-dairy in this - you decide). no use of y/n.

Joel has gotten pretty damn good at reading at you, if he does say so himself. Not that you're all that hard to read. But it's painfully clear to him, when he asks if you want to do anything for Valentine's Day, that something about the question irks you. A grumbled response followed by a sudden, loaded silence, your fingers flying to the seashell around your neck like the feeling of it under your touch will anchor you somehow.

And he's no fool, he can put two and two together. No doubt you're thinking of your ex, and Joel shudders to think how much that kid must have fucked this day up to make you react like that. He doesn't pry. But he does start to plan.

See, for Joel, Valentine's Day was never about romantic love. It was about forcing himself to wake up early for once to leave chocolate hearts in Sarah's cereal bowl before she came down to breakfast. It was about helping his little girl hand write each one of her classmate's valentines, usually in a frenzied rush on the night of February 13. It was about sneaking one for himself just so he could slip it into Sarah's lunch box and imagine how she'd smile when she found it. That's all he wants for you - that's all he ever wants for you - to see you smile and know he'd had a hand in it.

Joel Miller doesn't do surprises all that well. But he's trying, and you love that. He might have been able to keep his plans a secret had he not offhandedly suggested you book the 15th off work for "no reason," very poorly ignoring your side-eye from across the centre console of his truck. So you'd known he'd been up to something, but nothing could have prepared you for what.

He's got supermarket flowers on the counter when you get home from work, calling out a greeting to you from the bedroom. You find him there, duffle bag open on his mattress, looking all flustered and giddy when he tells you he's already packed your pyjamas and your toothbrush and your swimsuit but that he doesn't know "what all make-up or whatever" you need and you're just standing there in the doorway, charmed to absolute death like, "Well, neither do I unless you tell me where we're going." And all he gives in response is, "Not far, nothin' crazy."

He's a picked dress for you, you discover, some flouncy little pink number you haven't worn since...well, since Costa Rica. He's already packed it away along with your singular pair of "nice shoes" and it probably shouldn't turn you on so much that Joel is literally choosing your outfit for you and yet...you think he might be the only man on Earth who could get away with something like that. It's kind of hot to let him call the shots. To, for once, not have to think so much about things.

Of course, you've got him a present too, but you keep that to yourself for now.

He's not lying; it's not far and it's not crazy, just a nice hotel in downtown Austin, chocolates on the sheets and sparkling wine in an ice bath. Reservations at one of your favourite restaurants. He looks so handsome with his hair pushed back, dark green button-down, dark black jeans, dark brown eyes in dark restaurant lighting. His fingers alternate between brushing your thigh and caressing your inner wrists and he seems to be deliberately trying to drive you fucking crazy.

As much as you insist against it, he pays for dinner, and frankly, you're far too eager to get back to your hotel room to argue about it.

Joel is impatient too. And nervous. And fucking hard.

You may not know what he's got planned, but he certainly does. And he's been struggling to think of anything else all evening. You share a shower and it's all soft touches and wet kisses and his cock pressing into your thigh, your body literally melting against his and afterwards, he feels a bit less nervous. Your gaze is a little foggy and your breaths are coming a little shorter and he's sure you're wet by now but he fights the urge to touch your pussy because tonight...tonight is about patience. Tonight is about indulgence.

As much as you've made a home for yourself at Joel's place these past few months...there's something about a hotel room that feels infinitely more familiar. You're glad Joel chose this.

You wait on the big, cushy bed with a robe around your body and watch Joel emerge from the bathroom, curls still damp, wearing nothing but a pair of briefs. He rummages in the mini fridge (had he put something in there?), then he rummages in his duffle bag (what the fuck is he plotting?), then he finally kneels on the bed before you with both hands behind his back and a roguish little smirk.

He starts with the cuffs, they make him less nervous; you've already said you want this. He gets exactly the reaction he'd been hoping for when he presents them, all pink and fluffy, from behind his back: a widening of your eyes and a hitch of your breath, an instantaneous nodding of your head. So willing it makes his cock ache.

He tells you to get naked and you do so without question. Laid out all bare and open, he's sure he must be the luckiest man in the entire goddamn world. You welcome the cuffs around your wrists, all soft and pliant and trusting while you let him mould you into a position of his choosing, arms above your head. He carefully conceals his other surprise until you're comfortably restrained.

Bound and yearning, you watch him expectantly. Suddenly he's trying to play it cool, muttering some shit like seein' as it's Valentine's Day... as he retrieves the canister of whipped cream he'd been hiding. You can't help it, you burst into a fit of laughter and Joel laughs too, shakes his head, maybe a little embarrassed. But also still noticeably hard and not exactly backing down.

It's corny - it's so corny - you both laugh and laugh about how corny it is but ultimately...this is Joel. And you'll try anything with Joel.

And no surprise, it's fucking hot as hell. You give into it the instant he traces a line of whipped cream up your navel and licks his way along it, up between your breasts till his lips find yours. Sugary and sticky, his kiss dissolves you, and you are fully at his mercy.

He toys with you, calls you his good girl while he decorates every inch if your skin with cream and thoroughly licks you clean. You squirm when he dances his tongue over your perked nipples, moan when he scoops a dollop of cream onto two of his fingers and slips them between your lips.

"Wanna eat it off your dick, Joel," you tell him and oh - he likes that idea. Quickly readjusting your restraints so your wrists are connected behind your back, he at last removes his briefs and perches on the edge of the bed, guides you down to your knees and says, "Open your mouth," only to squeeze a small amount of whipped cream onto your tongue before slowly feeding you his cock.

And that's fun - but when he pulls you off him, you pout. "I said I wanted to eat it off your cock." Joel chuckles but grants your wish, shaking the can with a devilish grin before drawing a line of cream from his tip down to his base - "Go on, then."

And you do, lapping first at the sweet stuff around his tip. The curious flavour it creates when it mixes with the heady salt of his precum is so stupidly erotic it makes you throb. You wish you could touch yourself.

Joel lets you work him until his cock is clean, slick and sweet and glistening with saliva.

After that, Joel's patience finally expires. He helps you back into bed just so he can manhandle you onto your knees, press your chest into the mattress and eat your pussy from behind. It's his favourite way to eat you out, especially like this, with your hands still confined behind your back. Fully his.

You come like that, fairly quickly too. Maybe it had been all the build up. Maybe it had been the way he'd let his tongue wander over your asshole so he could eat you there too; he fucking loves how crazy that makes you.

You're just a sticky-wet puddle by the time he finally fucks you, big hand curling around the back of your neck, holding you flush against the sheets until his frame crashes down on you altogether and you're fully prone beneath him. And it's kind of romantic, you think, his body weight smothering you, thick cock buried inside you, rasped whispers in your ear...it's just like the first time. All these months later and it's just like that first time.

Unlike that first time though, he actually comes inside you, painting your insides instead of your skin. He frees your wrists and kisses each one turn, tells you how good and sweet and perfect you are until the words stop sounding like words.

Another shower, a dip in the hotel pool, a quick night cap at the bar downstairs and then you're back in bed, settling in for TV and snuggles and - undoubtedly - round two.

And of course - presents.

For Joel, custom guitar picks with his initials embossed on the celluloid and a few previously promised Polaroids of the two of you together (which he immediately stows in his wallet).

For you, a book you'd said you wanted nearly a month ago now - never mind the hotel and the dinner and the flowers and the goddamn handcuffs. There's also a personalized card with a handwritten message that you're not ashamed to say makes you tear up. Well, one line in particular:

I'm yours and you're mine...one day at a time.

You curl up in hotel bed sheets, let your eyes slip closed as you savour the safety, the intimacy, the undeniable nostalgia of it all.

"I do okay?" he asks as you begin to drift to sleep.

"More than okay," you vow, nuzzling into the column of his neck. "Thank you, Joel."

#joel miller x reader #vacation!joel #your summer dream

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newvegascowboy · 1 year

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food & agriculture in fallout: extrapolation and speculative worldbuilding

Okay, well. This is going to be an extremely long and data heavy post. Bear with me.

I'm going to go into detail about the crops and available food given to us canonically and textually. I'm going to be drawing some real world parallels between the crops we see in Fallout and what we have here. I'll be pulling relevant data from all the games, but the majority focus on this post is going to be about the east coast and Massachusetts in particular because it gives us the opportunity to participate in the agricultural climate of the wasteland.

Is there a point to this? Not really, but I'm pedantic and I take things too seriously.

my sources will be linked in the text throughout. for those of you who want to read about agricultural and growing zones of the continental united states, please follow me under the cut.

Growing zones and real world agriculture

Shown here are the growing zones of the united states, divided into a temperature map of about 19 different regions. It's fairly intuitive to read -- colder temperatures are north and east, while warmer temperatures are south and west. The majority of the Mojave desert sits between 7a to 9a, a temperature range of about 20 degrees. DC and the nearby section of the southeast coast sits between 7a and 8a. The interactive map linked below will tell you where your growing zone sits.

The 2012 USDA Plant Hardiness Zone Map is the standard by which gardeners and growers can determine which plants are most likely to thrive at a location. The map is based on the average annual minimum winter temperature, divided into 10-degree F zones and further divided into 5-degree F half-zones.

For the moment, we are going to focus on Massachusetts.

Using the temperature above, we can see that the growing zone of Massachusetts is 5a (-20f) at it's very coldest, all the way to 7b, (5f) at it's warmest during winter. Most of what we see in fallout 5 sits in the 6a to 6b zone, which is middle ground during the winter, but cold enough to want to warrant crops that can withstand the frost.

There is a solid 5 month window for planting annual crops, like corn, melons, and gourds like pumpkin. Your perennial crops are limited to fruit trees and possibly grains, depending on the variety and whether or not a perennial variety has been bred.

Cold weather crops include beets, carrots, greens like cabbage, collards, kale, and potatoes. These aren't the types of crops that will survive the winter as much as these are foods that can go in the ground as soon as it is unfrozen enough to be workable. Root vegetables and greens can germinate in soil as cold as 40 degrees Fahrenheit, which provides some leeway with unpredictable frosts and late planting times.

Much of the agricultural landscape of Massachusetts is dependent on the dairy industry, farming cattle, and aquaculture -- fishing and catching shellfish. Those with access to the coasts, fish and shellfish ought to provide protein during lean months.

Why are we talking about this? Well, if we're stepping into the shoes of a subsistence farmer in the fallout universe, we're going to have to take into account climate and ideal planting times for certain crops. It's not wholly important in terms of things like fic writing, unless you happen to be writing about the life and times of wasteland agriculture, in which case, I hope this is helpful! Again, I am pedantic, and this section is to provide a template when considering and discussing other parts of the game and what their specific diet and agricultural landscapes might look like.

Something to keep in mind when thinking about how farms might function in the Mojave, for instance, or if you're doing worldbuilding for a different part of the US.

Crops in the fallout universe

Now that we're familiar with growing zones and why certain crops are planted and when, we're going to apply some speculative worldbuilding to fallout itself. We will be revisiting growing zones when we talk about other climates, but for the moment, we're going to focus on fallout 4.

Now to preface -- I don't think that the food that is given to us in game is wholly representative of the plants or animals that survived the apocalypse. If some managed to mutant and survive, I'm willing to bet others did. I certainly won't deduct any points from anyone who wants to talk about growing cotton, or farming peaches or cherries, and I won't raise any eyebrows if someone includes things like spices into their wasteland cuisine.

In the 210+ years since the bombs fell, I do not think that the majority of the US is a desolate wasteland, but this post is not going to be my beef with the devs about how brown everything is. This beef is about food in particular. However, for sake of ease, I'm mostly just going to focus on the food that is presented to us in game.

There will be some extrapolation and speculation later, but if I do that for everything, then we'll be here all day, and we've all got things to do.

I would also be remiss to mention that agriculture in the US is old. It predates colonialism. The Native Americans cultivated the land long before any European settlers. They practiced a type of crop growing referred to as Three Sisters planting, which utilized corn, pole beans, and squash -- all things that exist in the agricultural landscape of Fallout as we know it.

Corn

I'm not going to say much about corn because there's not a lot to say about it. We all know what corn is. Fallout's corn is visually similar to wild violet, a hybrid corn.

But I am not going to say Fallout's corn is one such variety or another. In the 210 years since the bombs dropped, I imagine corn varietals have been bred and interbred a thousand times, and it is probably it's own unique strain. It's kind of a moot point. Corn is corn. You can do with yellow corn what you can do with wild violet, and whatever special breeds that make up Fallout's corn.

Corn is the third largest plant-based food source in the world. Despite its importance as a major food in many parts of the world, corn is inferior to other cereals in nutritional value. Its protein is of poor quality, and it is deficient in niacin. Diets in which it predominates often result in pellagra (niacin-deficiency disease). Corn is high in dietary fibre and rich in antioxidants.

You can do a shit ton with corn. It's a staple grain. It would not be incongruous with the fallout setting to have settlers making tortillas, cornbread, polenta, grits, tamales, etc. Corn can also be used to make corn whiskey. The husks can be spun into yarn and woven into garments similar to cotton, which I thought was interesting and also solves the problem of where the hell wastelanders are getting their clothes. Corn can be used as livestock feed, especially in the winter when cattle can't graze. While corn is a staple grain of the US, the east coast has minor corn production compared to places like the midwest. Corn is a staple, but it does not consist of the entire diet of your average wastelander.

Carrots

Not going to say much about carrots either. They're carrots. They grow well in colder soil and tend to have a lot of natural sugars. The carrots we're shown in FO4 seem to be a mutated variety different than the "fresh carrot" consumable in FNV, but there's virtually no difference, so I'm not counting it. Make some carrot cake.

Razorgrain

"This species appears to be quite promising. It's a toothy grain that we may be able to grind in order to replace wheat, which is untenable in the Wasteland. We are uncertain how to increase crop yields, which are very unpredictable. Will continue to study."

Razorgrain is our first unique mutated crop in the fallout setting. It most closely resembles a barley or a rye. Both are a fairly hardy species and can grow all across the continental united states; rye can germinate in cold weather temperatures. It wouldn't be outrageous to assume that razorgrain is similar too or a crossbred variation of both rye and barley. I have decided to base the majority of my research assuming it is a barley variant. Barley is also a major crop on the east coast near the Commonwealth, so that would explain why razorgrain is present in FO4 and not in the other games.

Barley requires a mild winter climate and can grow in growing zones 3-8, so it would be viable in Massachusetts. Barley can be milled into flour and it contains gluten; the gluten content of North American wheat and barley tends to be higher to survive the colder climates, so razorgrain would likely be very glutenous. It is also less susceptible to ergot than rye, but barley can still become infected -- and, I am assuming, razorgrain could as well.

Razorgrain fills the nutritional niche of carbohydrates and can be used to make breads, cakes, pastas, etc. It produces darker breads that have an earthier flavor than milled white flour. There has to be some method of actually milling the grain, though, which is an intensive process that can often be dangerous. Grain can also be used to make malted candy, which is our first option for wastelanders with a sweet tooth. Obviously, razorgrain can also be used to make malt or grain alcohol and is probably the source of all the beer you find littered around the wasteland.

Gourds and melons

Gourds and melons are actually a part of the same family, Cucurbita. The category of 'gourd' covers several different kinds of vegetables, including ornamental fruits that shouldn't be eaten. We aren't going to spend a whole lot of time on this one, simply because canon doesn't tell us that much and there's a lot of wiggle room in terms of interpretation.

FO4's model looks the most similar to a pumpkin, but it could be some other squash varietal from the Cucurbita family, which includes watermelon, honey melon, cucumber, squash, zucchini and pumpkin.

Melons is another pretty broad category. Melons and squash are part of the same family, as mentioned above. If we're going visuals again, the model is likely intended to resemble a watermelon. Watermelons grow best in humid and semi-arid environments between 70 and 8- degrees Fahrenheit. It's not impossible for wastelanders to be growing watermelons, but considering the humidity and frequent rainfall in Massachusetts, the melons would be vulnerable to fungal infections.

There isn't a lot of information on what specifically gourds and melons are in the fallout universe, so you could get away with writing in a pretty wide variety. Personally, I lean a little bit towards melons being a muskmelon variety, like cantaloupe or honeydew. Squash fills in some vitamin requirements for the human diet, and can be canned and stored for winter. It tends to be high in vitamin C and magnesium.

The limit to this one seems to be your imagination. Go crazy.

Mutfruit

This wiki claims that the mutfruit (it has a scientific name apparently, malus maata) is a mutated species of apple and crabapple. There are two different wikis about the mutfruit, both distinct. The first is linked above. The second is linked here -- I got most of my information from this second wiki.

There is a handful of "canon" information we can take from this set of wikis.

Priscilla Penske in Vault 81 is attempting to create foods that have increased resistance to radiation. She mentions the mutfruit would do well, but isn't certain how the hybridization would affect the flavor and texture.[5]

This claim is taken directly from the second wiki, but in comparison, it makes no sense. If the mutfruit tree is a product of mutation, then radiation shouldn't really affect it at all. It's survived and propagated to this point, hasn't it? I am disregarding this claim on the basis of being stupid.

Farmers in at Warwick homestead will comment on the fruit's characteristics, such as tasting sweet and being versatile in recipes.[1][2] The vault dwellers of Vault 81 trade for mutfruit with the outside world, and use it to make special occasion desserts such as pie.[6][7]

If the mutfruit is an apple variant, then it likely has a high sugar content, and it would have to be harvested in the peak of summer or in early fall.

There are fresh apples the be found across the wasteland, implying the existence of apple trees that have been unaffected by the bombs. Personally, I was assuming that the mutfruit was some kind of blackberry, given its appearance as a clustered fruit, or maybe even a type of plum. Regardless, the mutfruit is a fruit, which means that it would preserve well by being jarred or canned, has a high sugar content, and could likely be reduced to form sugar syrups. Like any fruit, it could be used to make alcohol.

Tatos

I want to stop myself from editorializing too much, but goddamn tatos. The crop that makes the least goddamn sense in the fallout universe. The bane of my existence. Let's get into it.

First off, we're given some pretty damning canon facts about tatos:

Tatos are a mutated hybrid of the cross-pollination of the tomato and potato plants.[1] The new consumable looks like a tomato on the outside, but the inside is brown.[2] Commonly cultivated in the Commonwealth, Appalachia and on the Island, its fruit is easy to grow and can keep one from starving, but their taste is described as "disgusting"[2][3][Non-game 1] and resembling "ketchup-flavored cardboard."[1]

According to some old botany texts we found, this appears to be combination of a now extinct plant called a "potato" and another extinct plant called a "tomato." The outside looks like a tomato, but the inside is brown. Tastes as absolutely disgusting as it looks, but will keep you from starving.

Note: This text was written from the perspective of someone who is unaware that both the tomato and the potato are being cultivated elsewhere. The writer also does not mention any sort of DNA test. However, the potato is also found in the Capital Wasteland, and the writer is a scribe in the Brotherhood of Steel, which originated from that area.

Both potatoes and tomatoes are from the nightshade family. They have the same nutrient requirements, and would compete for resources if planted separately but in the same soil. There is a method for planting them together where you splice a tomato stalk onto a potato root, but this is not the same as cross pollination and will not result in what fallout presents as a tato. What will happen is that the roots will grow potatoes and the fruit of the tomato will branch off the stems.

The potato itself is a stem tuber -- high in starch and calorically dense. A stem tuber is an offshoot of the parent plant that will grow beneath the soil as a type of asexual budding reproduction. We all know what a potato is. The tomato is a berry. It's the ovary of a flowering plant -- again, we all know what a tomato is.

I am going to give Fallout a little bit of grace and not comment on how mind bendingly stupid their description of a tato is. The outer skin is a tomato, but the inside is brown and starchy like the potato? I am not going to comment on how it makes little to no biological sense. The starchy tuber is starchy because it's an energy and nutrient storage device. The tomato is the enlarged ovary of a fruit. Why did those things, which are separately very good, combine into one very terrible thing? I don't know. It doesn't make sense. I don't really want to think about it. But these are the facts as they are given to us in game and I suppose I have to live with that. Obligatory "goddamn you todd howard. a pox on your house."

The tato is probably extremely calorically dense. It's specifically mentioned as being easy to grow and it is a better alternative to starving. It's probably grown as a staple crop throughout the planting season. I'm not entirely sure if the tato can produce glycoalkaloids like the potato does (that is, the green sections of the potato that can become poisonous when exposed to light) but if they can, and if stored improperly, it would negatively impact the health of whoever ate them.

I suppose since the taste is so offensive, tatos are better served as a carrier of some other type of food. Fried, mashed, baked -- the purpose of the tato is simply to get calories into your body. Starch can also be turned into alcohol, which I am going to need a lot of after reading the canonical facts of this stupid fucking plant.

Fallout: The Roleplaying Game Rulebook p.158: "A mutated hybrid of the pre-War tomato and potato plants, with the stem and reddish skin of the former and the brownish flesh of the latter. Tatos provide decent nutrition, but taste disgusting. However, they’re relatively easy to grow and thus are a staple of wasteland agriculture and is an ingredient in a variety of recipes."

fucker

"non farmable" crops

You can't cultivate these plants, but again - we're taking what's given to us and interpreting it extremely literally. There is no reason that these crops could not be domesticated and farmed.

Siltbean

Siltbean is likely a type of bushbean, rather than a pole bean. It's squat and low to the ground. Bush beans require little care or attention and you can pick them when you're ready to harvest them. Historically in North America, beans and corn were grown side by side (though those beans were pole beans using the stalks as support). Bush beans require successive plantings since harvests are early.

There's no good allegory for what type of bean this might be. The potato bean (Apios americana) is native to North America and also produces edible tubers, but there's no reason this couldn't be just some other type of bean. No beans that I could find had red/orange pods.

Beans are a good source of both proteins and carbohydrates, and another crop that can store well for the winter.

Tarberry

Tarberry is a little iffy, considering it is farmed by the ghouls at The Slog, but they're the only farm shown capable (or willing?) to farm the berries. Originally, I had assumed that tarberries were a type of mutated cranberry, and I thought the wiki was supporting me in that claim by saying this:

Tarberries are small, dusty orange berries of the tarberry plant. It is a water-grown crop similar to cranberries.

But cranberries themselves are also canon in the world of Fallout. So who knows! There's no canon information presented on the tarberry's characteristics, so it can be treated the same as any other fruit or berry.

Fungus variants

Glowing fungus: Glowing fungus is one of the few real world equivalents we have. It is a Japanese mushroom called Enoki. It is also farmable as shown in FNV at Hell's Motel.

Brain fungus: This is harvestable, but there aren't any "crops" shown as we would consider them. Considering it's benefits as a mentat replacement, then it's likely that there could be a dedicated space for growing it.

Food and Plants mentioned in the text

Potato

Thank god almighty, potatoes are canon in the universe of Fallout. Fresh potatoes are found as consumables in FO3 and FNV but potatoes are also mentioned in the text of FO4:

Mentioned in dialogue -- {Angry} Shut up Jake. If I hear anything out of either of you, you'll both be peeling potatoes for the next year.

I'm taking this as word of god. Potatoes are canon and I don't care what anyone says.

Tomato

Tomatoes are mentioned in the text, but are never actually seen in game. The only hint that this plant survived extinction is this excerpt from the wiki.

Note: As fresh tomatoes and potatoes are seen in the Mojave Wasteland as of 2281, with the potato seen in the Capital Wasteland as of 2277, the claim of either's extinction by 2287 in the Commonwealth Plant Database could be taken to mean local extinction in east coast regions, as opposed to global extinction. This entry may also just be in error.

There's potential for leeway here, but take it as you will!

Fresh apple

We discussed this back up in the mutfruit section of the essay, but the existence of fresh apples implies the existence of non mutated apple trees. They're found in both FO3 and FNV as a consumable item, so the apple tress have either proliferated across the continental united states, or multiple varieties survived the bombs.

Fresh pear

See above. Pears are also naturally high in pectin, which makes them useful for making jams and preserves.

Pinto beans

Pinto beans are a consumable in FNV and is another W in the bean category of the agricultural landscape.

Jalepeno

Look, I'm picking out this one specifically because I need to believe that other spices and peppers exist in the world. Where would we be without her? Nowhere good.

Raw sap

I am going to say that sap collecting is probably where most of the sugars and sweeteners in the wasteland come from. It's relatively easy to tap trees and collect sap, and it only takes a few hours to reduce the sap down into useable syrup.

Wild Blackberry, Lime, Cranberries, as well as Watermelon as being distinct from simply 'melon' are all mentioned in the text. The list of fruits mentioned or found in the games can be found here.

Animal husbandry

Fallout doesn't give us a lot of canonical information on the animal side of farming. The biggest real world agricultural export of Massachusetts is dairy and cattle farming. Chickens are canon in the worldbuilding of fallout as of Far Harbor, but canon feels both restrictive and extremely loose with regards to what animals can be cared for and how.

We aren't going to spend a whole lot of time on this one, only because the information is pretty limited.

Brahmin

There are plenty of brahmin found throughout the landscape of the wasteland. We most commonly see them as either livestock or beasts of burden. Things like milk, cheese, and other dairy products would be common if a farm has access to dairy cows. The investment to raise cows would be enormous for a subsistence farmer. Dairy cows would likely be kept for a number of years, where steers would be raised 12 to 24 months before being slaughtered; they'd likely be grass fed in the summer and corn or grain fed in the winter. Leather and beef would be products, of course, and things like soap and candles can be made from the beef tallow.

Chickens

Chickens are largely easy to keep and care for, producing eggs and necessary proteins. Chickens can provide niacin, filling in the nutritional gap that would be left by a heavy corn based diet. The investment for keeping chickens is lower than raising brahmin, but so is the payoff.

Bighorners

Bighorners are mutated bighorn sheep native to the American Southwest.[1] Humans have since domesticated them for their horns, meat, milk, and hides,[2][3]

Granted, bighorners are only seen in FNV, but I don't think there's any reason they couldn't have migrated east. In the text, it says they're kept for meat and milk, but there's no reason that they shouldn't provide a fleece as well. In the colder climate of Massachusetts, they would find value in wool, which can keep its warmth even when wet. They may be sparse across the commonwealth, but that would make wool and fleece all that much more valuable.

Fish

Yeah, I know. Technically we can't fish in Fallout (and depending on the game you play, you might not even know what a fish is). But aquaculture is huge in Boston, and with access to the coasts, it's completely fair to say that fish, shellfish, and hydroponics is a completely viable source of food in the wasteland. We see dead fish washed up on shore all the time, along with whatever the hell those shark things are. There should be fisheries and fishing towns all along the coasts.

New Vegas and Fallout 3

Consulting our growing zone chart, we can see that much of the southwest sits between 7b to 8b. The winters in the southwest are fairly mild, and while you can get seeds in the ground sooner, the majority of the battle is going to be finding a reliable water source.

The farming we see in New Vegas has one distinct notable inclusion: the NCR sharecropper farm.

The sharecroppers are growing a number of crops, including maize, tobacco, pinto beans, and honey mesquite. Corn can handle hot, arid weather, it's just not commercially grown out west. Barley can also handle hot, arid climates, and razorgrain would be suitable for the western front -- maybe we can assume it's made it's way that far west and is being cultivated alongside corn.

Most of the plants we see in FNV aren't the type we would see typically domesticated for agricultural use, but that doesn't mean people haven't adapted to their surroundings. It makes a lot of sense for locals to have domesticated local plants like prickly pear and banana yucca. There are a number of fresh produce items to be found as consumables, alongside local fruits the local fruits.

Heat-loving plants are best suited for summer production in desert climates. The plant families that fit into the heat-loving category are nightshade or Solanaceae (tomatoes, peppers, eggplant) and squash or Cucurbitaceae (cucumbers, melons, summer and winter squash). Corn and beans also perform best in hot climates.

Most plants CAN handle the heat and climate of the southwest, the issue is just finding a reliable source of water. Somewhere close to Lake Mead or the banks of the Virgin River would be prime real estate for farming, since irrigation could be accomplished without the use of pumps, like the sharecroppers use.

If we look back at the history of agriculture, it's developed along established waterways in almost every ancient civilization because that's what's easiest. There should be thriving communities surrounding the lakes and rivers in the southwest.

Comparatively, DC was formerly a swamp. It's hot and humid in the summer, though the winters are fairly mild. It wouldn't be a stretch to say that farming practices in the Commonwealth don't differ all that much from farming in the Capital Wasteland -- you could even posit that food from the Capital is of better quality ever since the successful activation of Project Purity. Fresh and unirradiated food was growing there before, so it's entirely likely that even more is growing now. YMMV!

Other consumables

We would be here all damn day if I did research onto every single consumable item available across all three games, so this mostly just because I'm covering my bases.

Look, I'm picking out this one specifically because I need to believe that other spices and peppers exist in the world. Where would we be without her? Nowhere good.

Pre War food

Most shelf-stable foods are safe indefinitely. In fact, canned goods will last for years, as long as the can itself is in good condition (no rust, dents, or swelling). Packaged foods (cereal, pasta, cookies) will be safe past the ‘best by’ date, although they may eventually become stale or develop an off flavor.

The risk with improperly canned good, or damaged canned goods, is botulism. Botulism will straight up kill you. You don't even have to consume that much of it; just a little bit will leave you dead in days. As desperate as I might be for a meal, I'm not going to risk dying because that can of two hundred year old peaches looks really tasty.

If properly sealed and in a dry, ideal environment, I... guess things like cereal and instant food could be okay? But again, with access to fresh grain, sugars, and yes, even potatoes and pasta, why would you want to risk eating InstaMash that's been around since before your great grandmother.

Pre War drinks

Sigh. Okay.

Unless stored extremely, extremely well, most bottled drinks aren't going to last much longer than 9 months. A year, if you're lucky. Exposure to sunlight and improper storage will break down the contents -- the best bottles are brown, then green. Clear glass is the worst because it does nothing to protect the liquid inside.

All the Nuka Cola you find throughout the world is flat, nasty, and will probably make you sick. I don't think that really needs to be pointed out, but there we go. I suppose the soda could probably be reduced to form sugar syrups, but with access to sap syrup and grain malt, I'm not sure why you would be desperate enough to do that.

So what does food look like in Fallout?

If there's one thing I know about humans, it's that humans like to eat. Food is culture, as much as culture and community is built around food. Good food and access to it is paramount to human happiness. All this to say is that food in fallout is whatever you want it to look like.

I can extrapolate and theorize all day long based on what Fallout tells us definitively, but I'm not going to tell you what the culinary landscape in the wasteland looks like. The only point that I will stress is that humans are really, really good at making things appetizing.

The fandom is already so creative when it comes to developing their idea of what food means in the wasteland. It's what's directly inspired me to write up this stupid, long ass post about farming and agriculture.

Obviously this is not a comprehensive list of all the base ingredients you can find in Fallout. I picked the ones I did because of the potential for consistent farming. Wastelanders have had two centuries to develop agricultural practices based around subsistence farming. I am not a subsistence farmer, and I have no idea how wasteland cottagecore would work at the heart of it. Running a farm is extremely labor intensive, and so much of your investment has to be immediately recouped in the form of eating what you harvest.

What a farm is likely to look like will start in the early spring when the ground begins to thaw, and a farmer can plant his cold resistant crops, like green vegetables and razorgrain. Potatos, carrots, and tatos will also weather the spring chill. When it starts to warm up, the more delicate plants like corn, beans, and squash or melons will get planted and tended to.

If your family is lucky enough to have a greenhouse, you can keep crops growing all through the winter and have a surplus for trade and barter, or just to preserve and refill the pantries.

A lot of the investment will have to be immediately recouped. Eggs from the chickens can't be preserved, obviously, but there will be meat from hunted animals, milk from the brahmin, probably an early harvest from the beans and tatos, and whatever else is in the pantry from the previous harvest.

Some of it will be canned or preserved in the forms of jams or jellies (just remember what I said about botulism). Meat from animals that get hunted can be smoked or otherwise preserved. Grain can be milled into flour or eaten whole and unshelled. Even the corn silk can be woven into clothes for the summer.

There really is no limit to what can be done in the end. While a lot of this information was taken from what we're given in the text, there's no rule that says you have to follow it word for word. If you believe something exists out there, then write it! We're all just making shit up as we go along anyway. If you need permission, then here it is. You can do whatever you want. Make up recipes! Go insane. Follow whatever your little foodie heart desires.

#fallout #kal talks #fallout 4 #fallout new vegas #fnv #fallout 3 #fallout meta #fallout food #fallout headcanons #behold. the agricultural masterpost of my farming headcanons #here she is

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starryregard · 6 months

Text

the Flight Rising dragon breeds as Jerma quotes

Fae: The whole moral of the story is, even little guys- even big guy- little guys got some big stuff in their- in their brains. Guardians: Be my Charge, or take this at least two months' supply of chips. The choice is yours. I stand you will make the correct one. Mirrors: Cheeseburgers? Byeah. Hotdogs? Byeah. Donuts? Byeah. Bar fightin'? Byeah. Bug collections? Byeah. Tundra: AAAUUGH- I forgot I was playing a game and I forgot I was streaming and I forgot I was sitting in a chair and I forgot where I was. Pearlcatchers: Why am I so short? Because God doesn't fucking love me. Ridgebacks: I eat more seafood than fruit. I eat more seafood than dairy, I eat more seafood than flour and bread. I don't eat all these other things, I eat SEAFOOD. Snappers: What would you like to say to the scientist a hundred years from now? Seeing a lot of 'Fuck you's'. Now, this scientist is gonna look at this and be like, 'What- how primitive were they? They must have been very primitive. They, immediately on talking to a potential scientist in the future, went right to vulgarities. Primitive species.' Spirals: If you had a fucking battleaxe and you were gonna try to get me with it, you are NOT gonna get me with it. I'm too fast for you. Way too fast. I am fast as FUCK and I have lightning-like reflexes. Bogsneaks: [crawling out from under a log] ANY SCRAPS FOR ME? Obelisks: This is a, um- this is a smoky… a smoky granite. Oh, I can tell by the flavor. Skydancers: I'm telling ya, I- I can like feel- I can like sense it, I can like sense the world around me. I can like feel the fucking world around me. I think I might be claymation. Clairvoyant. Imperials: 'At least they're handsome'. [chuckles] I appreciate that. Nocturnes: Hello, yes, may I come in your house? Thank you. I'M A VAMPIRE, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT. Coatl: [agitated beatboxing] Wildclaws: What animal do you think I would be? SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY. I think I'd be a wolf. I would be a wolf-lion hybrid mix. King of the junj- junjle, but still social and with it and ferocious. Aberrations: [10 seconds before being swept into the Wyrmwound] I am as safe as you can possibly be! It's never gonna happen! You'll never dunk me, you fuckers! Fuck all'a ya! It's not gonna ha- Aethers: We're just a bunch of dragons. 'Are you an alien?' …I am. Banescale: Why clean, when you can burn your house down? Gaolers: Global warming? Global warming my ass! Sandsurges: Did somebody say 'next game'? [wind howling in the bg] 'Yeah, let me load up Yakuza'. I'm in the middle of the damn desert, man, what are you talking about? Undertide: There are plenty- plenty- of fish in the sea, you understand? Some of them are small, some of them are big, some of them have- some of them are very mean, some of them'll dump ya. But as you can see, there's plenty of good fish too. Look, you see? There's this fish right here that's VERY good potential, like, spouse material. Veilspun: I'm not tiny, I'm compact!

#flight rising #flight rising meme #flight rising shitpost #sorry for the mild formatting errors tungle dot fuck keeps breaking this post for some reason #mine

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baratiddyappreciator · 2 months

Note

S/o who can sing good and like high notes like mariah carey

I won't lie chief, most of these giant buff nerds would try and find a way to use what we're going to refer to as The Note from this point on in a combat situation because that's powerful, but I digress.

Baki:

He 100% believes you when you say you're a good singer, but giving him proof is always going to be appreciated greatly. If his baby wants to sing for him, that's great and he loves it a lot, thank you kindly pookie.

He expects the singing to be good, some of the best he's ever heard, but what he isn't expecting is THE high note. Like how do you do that??? HOW?!

Of course, after hearing the high note and witnessing THE POWER of said high note, he'll immediately start wondering if it can be weaponized. Imagine if he could literally stun-lock an opponent in real life?!?

Definitely tries to get you to sing along to any songs with high notes so he can hear you hit them with ease and then brag about it to everyone he knows, even his dad.

"Oh yeah, my partner is super talented, listen to this!" Becomes a common thing to hear, he's so proud of you!

Kozue:

Silent wonder and admiration. How on earth do you get your voice to sound so angelic and in tune when you sing?! That's seriously impressive stuff! She doesn't understand any of it beyond it's hard work and impressive.

If she thought your regular singing was impressive (it is) then you hitting the high note is mind boggling (it is) and she doesn't know how you did that (sorcery, probably) but could you please do it again, because she's setting it as her notification tone.

The high note must be studied and admired. How loud can you go? Can you do wacky stuff like breaking a glass? Could you do better than an opera singer?! Probably not, but it's fun to ask and get so carried away the both of you just wind up dying of laughter on the floor.

She tries to get you to teach her how to hit a high note like that. It's impressive and she wants to know if she can get her voice like yours, though the look of disappointment in her eyes as you mention that dairy will make it harder to hit higher notes just after she's finished her iced coffee is palpable.

She's very proud when people compliment her new notification tone, and will purposefully send you a text to be answered whenever she's in a crowd so she can hear it over and over again.

Hanayama:

He'd act all unimpressed in front of his guys and just nod and give you a gruff little grunt (high praise from him, really) but behind closed doors he's practically begging you to sing him some old-timey song that he really liked as a kid.

The high note is a shock to be sure, but not an unpleasant one. He definitely didn't expect you to go so hard with your rendition of Frank Sinatra's Fly Me To The Moon, but he's glad you did, adds your own personal flare.

He thinks you're great and really skilled, it's super impressive he promises, but he can't really handle the high note all that often. On occasion, sure, but if he's gotta hear it multiple times in one day then he simply can't. He's got a limit on how much loud noises he can handle.

If you're ever wanting to look into getting a gig, however, he can 100% hook you up by calling on some old favors that he's owed by a few club owners, he's sure that they'd be more than happy to accept you on stage!

There's a silent pride in him when people talk about you, especially if you're up on stage. All those eyes on you as people talk about how skilled you are, but he's the one that gets to take you home.

Chiharu:

He's not a graceful singer, but can try. You start up, and he'll 100% join you. Sounds like a drunk old cat, but it's fine because it's fun! He greatly appreciates your skill regardless of his inability.

You hit a high note and he immediately demands you hit another. And then another, and another. He's fascinated. Sure his ears might hurt, but he adores your voice and he's going to listen to you.

He'll try to match the vibes and hit high notes with you, but he gets one voice crack and stops for weeks, can't look you in the eye. He demands you teach him how, but he's not the best at practicing. Once he gets it down enough for him to hit a relatively high note though, he absolutely will use it in a fight. He gets hit? He's gonna let out the highest damn squeak you've ever heard out of spite before he rocks his opponents shit.

He takes you out to karaoke bars often, especially if there are competitions so you can breeze through the others and enjoy the benefits of your superiority. And he's absolutely going to refer to you winning as you being superior, because in his eyes you are.

Loudly proud about you being so skilled. You start humming and he's ready to shout from the rooftops about how talented and skilled and good looking and amazing you are. As a matter of fact, he's done it at least once when he's had enough to drink.

Katsumi:

Oh he's definitely going to forget how to speak for a while, but if you're both having a fun moment he's joining in. His boys tell him he sounds like a dying echidna, but he doesn't really care, he's having fun with his baby and admiring their skill.

The high note takes everyone off-guard. That's just impressive. There's nothing more to be said other than "holy shit" and "wow" because that's the only words in their brains. The Karate boys are smart (ish) on their own, but together they have one braincell and it's completely overwhelmed by the Wow that they're all thinking.

Katsumi has no problem bragging about your skill. He doesn't stop doing it, actually, but asking him to stop is like asking him to NOT be proud that he bagged a skilled individual with the voice of a goddess, and that's basically impossible.

He's only ever hit the high note once and it's because Katou slapped his butt at full force while he was talking. Katou hasn't, and probably won't ever, let him live that down. On the plus side, he learned that he can hit the high notes like you, it's just hard.

He honestly might just get a billboard with your face on it in front of and on the Shin-Shin-Kai building so he can brag to everyone that walks past that his partner is super talented.

Jack:

A bit fuckin dense, he's probably not going to notice it's you singing until he actually physically sees you singing, in which case he'll happily just stand there and admire you while you're unaware.

The high note catches him completely off-guard, especially if you're singing in the other room and then hit it out of nowhere. That's a guaranteed way for him to come rushing in ready to either swing on someone or rush you to a hospital.

He entertains the same train of thought as Baki for a few seconds because yeah that'd be funny, and then he remembers that Gaia basically has done that before and his interest completely dies out from that point because he doesn't need a headache like that again. He's never letting the two of you be in the same room if he can help it though, just to be on the safe side.

The high note is one of the few things that wake him from a dead sleep beyond you screaming like you're being murdered. All it takes is for him to break through a door once for that fact to become clear, so there's no practicing within his earshot while he's sleeping.

He's definitely a silently proud individual. He admires the hard work and dedication you've put into it, but it's pretty rare that he brags about anything. That being said, given the chance he absolutely will sing your praises, he knows it's nice to hear.

Kosho:

He thinks it's good that you have a creative outlet that isn't dangerous to yourself or him, and he doesn't mind hearing you singing around the house while he stretches or trains.

His reaction to the high note is very similar to Jack, where he comes rushing in in a blind panic if you hit it out of nowhere, but he quickly processes it and it's something the both of you will laugh about eventually.

Oh he knows that a high note like that can be used in combat, but unless you have an interest in fighting yourself, he's not likely to ever see it in action, and even if you do it's not going to be something he wants used on himself, so please be merciful. Sometimes.

He knows that he hasn't been able to hit a high note like that since he was little, before puberty hit him like a bus, so he won't even attempt, but he'd definitely love to hear the technical part of how you make a sound like that.

He constantly humble brags whenever he gets the chance. "Oh your girlfriend is a singer? Yeah well my partner is the next Mariah Carey, get on my level." Do not put him in a room with the actual Mariah Carey, because he will tell her that you're coming after her crown.

Kureha:

Lowkey annoyed that you won't shut up but he does think your voice is pretty. Just, you know, in moderation. Just a little bit. He's trying to work baby, please just go practice in another room, where he can still hear you but it won't be as distracting.

Better hope he isn't drinking when you hit the high note because he will choke on it. The "perfect" Dr.Kureha Shinogi forgets how to human every time the high note is done in his presence, even if he's expecting it.

He knows that theoretically the high note could be used in combat, and Jack has told him about Gaia's screaming, but he shudders to think of anyone combining the volume and pitch in a combat situation, he'd break and he knows it.

If there's ever a work function or a conference that calls for live entertainment then SURPRISE SHAWTY! He's signed you up! Hope you don't get nervous in front of large crows. Oh also you only have two weeks to prepare. He's only a little sorry.

Given the chance, he loudly brags, but it's a shared brag. Why yes! You're both prodigies! It's only right that you wind up together! It's almost like the universe recognized that you both deserved someone with the same amount of skill!

Retsu:

Mystified and happy. He's flourishing, practically glowing as he listens to you. You're going to be totally unaware that he's there the first time you sing in front of him (unless you purposefully waited to show him) but either way, he's there and he's enjoying himself.

The high note catches him WAY off-guard. How did someone as sweet and soft (to him) manage to make such a big noise?! It takes him a solid minute but you'll both wind up laughing about how shocked he was.

He wouldn't dare think of using the high note as a fighting tactic, but he definitely can appreciate the shock value it caries when someone isn't expecting it. He'd definitely bring you to the arena and do a little trolling with you, just because he deserves to have some fun and you do to.

Oh he definitely tries to get you to sing along to some Mariah songs, she's talented and a genius with some real catchy ones, and if he ever gets the opportunity he's taking you to a concert, front row seats.

Highkey proud of you and not afraid to show it, but he's not interested in bragging to others about your skills, he wants to show you how great he thinks you are. He's constantly complimenting you anyways, this just gives him additional ammunition!

Doppo & Natsue:

Doppo's used to Natsue humming and singing around the house while she's doing her thing, be it chores or just going about her day, but having the both of you do it is something that brings him great joy and amusement, mostly because the both of you tend to completely stop once you hear the other and that's just hilarious to him.

The high note takes them both by surprise. Nobody's beating you on that one, Natsue's not going to try and Doppo knows damn well that he can't. That being said, he'd gladly give you a light teasing about being inspired by Mariah.

He's honestly more confident about leaving you and Natsue at home together whenever he leaves because he knows that if you need help you'll definitely be able to get the neighbors attention and stun an attacker, especially after what happened with Dorian, while Natsue just thinks it's neat and a skill that she's proud you've developed.

Both of them try and get you to sing more around the house, and if given the chance Natsue is throwing down with you on a Karaoke machine just so she can see you smile. Doppo, on the other hand, tries to recruit you for mischief. Katsumi has learned to survey his room whenever he's over in case you're hiding, waiting to pounce.

Non stop bragging on Doppo's part, but he does that anyways. His two loves are the best in the world and everyone deserves to know, especially the both of you, while Natsue is more than happy to gossip with the other moms in the area and brag about how talented you are.

Shibukawa:

He's pretty nice when it comes to your singing, even if he might give you a hard time just to get a laugh out of you, or see if he can break your composure. Bonus points if he gets you to break at the worst moment.

The high note inspires thoughts of evil in him. All those youngsters in the arena won't know what hit them the next time he gets a text or a phone call, because he's setting it up as his ringtone and he's not putting his phone on mute. You are the singular cause to every jumpscare in the arena from that point on. The others don't hate you, but hearing your voice for the first time in person definitely gets some interesting reactions.

He doesn't need to use tricks in combat, he already has some. Plenty, as a matter of fact. The high note is specifically for pranks only, thank you very much. He's going to recruit you.

He definitely takes you out to karaoke and introduces you as a beginner so that you can wipe the floor with the competition and laugh about it later over the prizes and stunned looks.

Oh he doesn't need to brag, everyone knows that he's proud of you. He doesn't even need to say anything, it's just insanely obvious. Especially with how many times he's scared the living shit out of Jack and Katsumi by playing your high notes. He's got different ones recorded too. You're his partner in crime, whether you like it or not.

#baki the grappler #baki son of ogre #grappler baki #baki dou #baki rahen #baki headcanons #baki hanma #kozue matsumoto #hanayama kaoru #chiharu shiba #katsumi orochi #jack hanma #kosho shinogi #kureha shinogi #retsu kaioh #doppo orochi #natsue orochi #shibukawa gouki

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utilitycaster · 1 year

Note

What ACOC fanon are people getting so upset over?

Come traveler. Let me tell you a tale. For I, too, was unaware of it until they went absolutely bugfuck all over Twitter. But if you don't want the whole long-winded epic: people shipped Belizabeth Brassica and Saint Citrina and while there has been no evidence indicating this will or not be confirmed or even mentioned they FREAKED OUT about how Matt would OBVIOUSLY destroy the "widespread" fanon (it is not widespread), specifically implying he'd do so in a bigoted way. Then some D20 guests noticed because the people saying this are not like, unknown fanartists (in fact one implied they had been asked to create art for the season but forgot to check their DMs) and were like "this is entitled and stupid and needlessly cruel to Matt, who is like, a guy we personally know and generally like." The people then, rather than saying "my B" and taking this to the DMs like a normal person who wants to talk shit, repeatedly doubled down. As of a few hours ago they were accusing Jasmine Bhullar of subtweeting them when she was in fact merely promoting an entirely unrelated show, it's sparked both a heartfelt discussion about how Matt's discussion of body dysmorphia has helped people and a conversation about how there's toxicity in all fandoms but the D20 community refuses to even acknowledge it; and also I think they've burned their chances of ever doing fan art for an actual play of any size in LA, Chicago, New York, London, or the centroid that represents an equidistant point from all the McElroys which is, I believe, hilariously for Amnesty fans, in the Monongahela National Forest.

Anyway POV we're around a campfire, I'm drinking something lightly alcoholic, and you wish to hear of The Drama At Length:

Do you remember Belizabeth Brassica, aka Broccoli Pope loosely based in appearance on Queen Elizabeth I (technically renaissance rather than high medieval but like...people constantly mix those up in D&D so it's fine)?

Great. Now do you remember the Rocks Sisters? Not the twins played by Siobhan and Emily; Amethar's four older sisters who died in the Ravening War, before the story started: Rococoa, Lazuli, Citrina, and Sapphria. Rococoa was a general; Lazuli an archmage (and Caramelinda's wife before she died; Caramelinda then married Amethar because while Lazuli had been a love match, this was a beneficial marriage for political purposes); Citrina a devotee of The Bulb; and Sapphria a spy and diplomat. They get talked about a lot, for sure, but their presence in the story is to be absent and to haunt the narrative.

Anyway the fanon is that Citrina and Belizabeth were in a relationship. In canon, I believe all we know is that both were devotees of the bulb; that Citrina held positions that might be considered heretical by some (she was a passionate believer in love matches and supported Amethar's marriage to a commoner in the Dairy Isles) and that Belizabeth ordered that she be killed.

Here's where this gets fun. So ACOC aired pretty much exactly three years ago, and while I think it's considered by many to be a high point in D20's oeuvre, a lot of fans have, you know, kept up with D20 on the whole and not dwelt on it in depth. But a small group of people have been consistently focused on this ship between an NPC who is vitally important to the narrative but shows up in fewer than a third of the total episodes; and a character dead before the story ever started. Which, I need to stress, is fine; the joy of headcanons is playing in the empty spaces.

Flash forward to 2023: a creative director who was generally opposed to revisiting past campaign settings and preferred standalone has just amicably parted ways. Neverafter has gotten mixed reviews (I have to see the last 8 episodes; this is anecdotal but some of the editing choices, plus the both dense yet meandering plot, brought the momentum of a truly fantastic TPK and resolution early on to a shuddering halt), and really nothing but A Court of Fey and Flowers has truly stuck for some time. The fandom has been clamoring for Fantasy High Junior Year for quite some time to no avail. The switch to 10-episode sidequests from 6 episode sidequests has met lukewarm reception. In short: D20 could use something flashy to revitalize their next sidequest. Enter: Matt Mercer as DM.

Now, a lot of D20 fans who are not part of the (significant) overlap with CR fans hate Matt Mercer. This is in part because a lot of people who got Big Mad about ships in Campaign 2 went to D20 and proceeded to badmouth Critical Role, a show they happily watched and made art for until roughly episode 107-ish of Campaign 2, proclaiming it homophobic (wrong two women kissed); racist (one of the women who kissed is a dark-skinned woman played by a white woman, which would have still been true if she kissed the other woman but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯); and probably problematic in other ways. To be clear I am not saying Critical Role is above criticism, and it has made its missteps, but like, the fact that these complaints showed up conveniently only when a ship didn't happen and mostly from like, white teenagers who proceeded to simultaneously call the cast transphobic and deliberately get their names wrong means this is not the criticism that is valid and worth considering, as is the fact that technically Matt had nothing to do with the ship not happening, but they've realized being an asshole to Marisha about her character's romantic choices will rightfully get you flayed alive. Also some D20 fans just hate Critical Role in the way that if you live in Boston you're supposed to hate New York and vice versa but if you say "why? what if I just want the baseball boys to have a good time together?" no one can answer.

Anyway here's a diagram to illustrate the group I'm talking about; they're the green dot:

So: a couple of them decided a smart thing to do on Twitter in front of God and everybody was to say that they were worried Matt would contradict this "widely established" fanlore because he is not plugged into the ACOC fandom. They then proceeded to specifically (jokingly, but like, in a shitty way, still where everyone could see it) say that Matt would probably introduce Belizabeth as being married to her husband because she is 100% straight.

Now there's a bunch of problems here, and people pointed them out. Namely:

This is a weird thing to assume Matt would do, ie, automatically make an arbitrary NPC definitely straight, even if you're joking about it; like, he has a pretty decent track record for making NPCs of varying genders and sexualities, especially by C2 and C3.

This is not even widely established fanlore; this is a tiny group of fans of ACOC. See below for more on that.

Even if it were widely established fanlore, it's unlikely Brennan would know either.

Even if it were widely established fanlore and Matt or Brennan were aware of it, they are under no obligation to adhere to fanlore, because it's fanlore, not the established canon of A Crown of Candy. This does not make fanlore bad! It just means that creators are allowed to ignore it in the same way that fan creators are allowed to ignore canon; this is a two-way street.

Therefore, because this is fanlore, even if Matt did say "here is Belizabeth and her husband, and she has only ever been involved with men" this would not be homophobic because the character's sexuality has never been established and straight is one of the possible sexualities she could have. Obviously if he went super hard on her straightness that could get weird but that's a fucking bonkers stretch.

When people pointed it out, this group and a few other people who just fucking hate Matt kept dismissing them as CR fans. Then it caught the attention of various D20 guest cast members or people in the broader TTRPG scene, who have pointed out that like...the actual play and TTRPG industry is a place where basically everyone in a particular region knows everyone else and they are all good friends and this is shitty. The D20 fans mad that Matt is DM-ing The Ravening War kept doubling down and started making outright ad-hominem attacks on Matt (notably his appearance and dress which is like, shitty and irrelevant to this fanon thing anyway even before you consider the body dysmorphia) and whining that because they've made some charity fanzines, a thing people have been doing since the dawn of Star Trek TOS, they deserve...something. People rightfully called them out as 1. entitled brats and 2. needlessly cruel. They keep whining that CR fans are dogpiling them when in fact like, the entire TTRPG community including, as far as I can tell, the D20 community who overlaps with CR fandom and even the D20 community that does not but is neutral on CR, is like "you suck, you started it, this fandom is not exempted from typical fandom toxicity, and you will look back on this in 5 years and vomit from embarrassment."

Anyway this is all kind of tiresome, but also pretty funny because literally I'm expecting a bunch of fanartists who are immensely high on their own farts to be 100% blacklisted from ever receiving a commission from like, any Actual Play of note and also a lot of fans; there's an outpouring of support for Matt that far outstrips what there would have been without a handful of idiots starting shit; and also the season is fully filmed anyway so if this ship was confirmed noncanon, it happened a few months ago anyway and there's nothing anyone can do.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, pretty much all these losers are still 100% going to watch The Ravening War anyway so like, this has all amounted to a net positive for everyone but them.

#answered #Anonymous #long post #i'm just...not maintagging this and if you need to filter it do what you have to

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jmdbjk · 11 months

Text

Good morning! Pt. 1

Breakfast: scrambled eggs with heavy cream mixed with cut up cup noodles and brown rice = under 500 calories.

His shoulder is bothering him. Not good.

He has turtleneck syndrome but obvs not the kind that makes us weak in the knees.

He's working out, pilates, going to the dermatologist, ignoring his guitar lessons, a day in the life of just being The Bun.

He will rest at the dermatologists... lol.

Because he's been a couch potato, his muscles deteriorated and that's why he's having trouble with aches and pains. Getting old sucks, Koo.

Damn the sounds his body makes when he cracks his bones...holy shit. Sounded like dominos falling.

He's going to invest in some workout equipment to keep at home... why he doesn't already have that, who knows. I guess because that's not his permanent home. He said he ordered some equipment but sounds suspiciously like it will sit in the box unassembled for a while...

Kookie, you spent six months being a couch potato in your mikrokosmos cave NOW you are going to invest in home workout equipment right when you are starting to ramp up on activities?

Y'all.. when I say he is the most adorable thing explaining in detail how to correct your posture and giving us walking and sleeping techniques to strengthen the neck and back... I just want to put him in my pocket.

"My here..." and he pats the backs of his legs... my god Kookie. Stob it.

He's killin' me. The most adorable goofball.

He scrolled through the comments and couldn't figure out why some disappear. Who's gonna tell him? Not me.

He's already talking about lunch... salad... superfoods... he found a great salad place and will have that with smoked duck or chicken. Eating healthy.

Kookie Pookie TMI: he might be lactose intolerant. Dairy doesn't agree with him. But he eats it anyway. Same, same.

Sooo many details... shampoo, body wash, face... towels...

His ghostbusters phase... he summoned the spirits from the netherworld with gadgets but never saw or heard any. (The other members did though. That explains everything.)

ISFP (Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Perceiving) People with this personality type tend to be peaceful, easy-going, and down-to-earth individuals. They have a strong need for personal space and value time alone to recharge. He needs to have some management. I've said this before. He is not a self-starter.

Now he's talking about setting up a movie date with Army but how to sneak it past the company. He needs to hire a spy. All of a sudden we're conspiring to do something without the company knowing and have a private movie date with Kookie...

This man who stood in the middle of Coachella and didn't think he'd be recognized because he cut his bangs.... is trying to sneak out of the house to go to see a movie with us. What could go wrong?

The imbeciles who keep asking him to speak another language and not Korean. Brainless people who waste everyone's time by typing those comments during a live.

Hold up buttercup. What's that dark area under his jawline?

[squints at the pixels... hmmm]

The Rainy Day Fight story.... this is the most precious retelling of one of the most (formerly) mysterious moments in Jikookistory. Bless the Army who caught his eye with this request in the comments.

According to Jungkook: It happened in the early years, JK was acting like a petulant teenager and pissed everyone off, even "angelic" Hobi-hyung got mad. Jimin even got pissed off. So much so he told JK he wasn't going to take care of him any longer (I've always suspected that Jimin held some responsibility over JK when they were younger and this might be JK confirming that.) JK stormed out of the building and started walking and got lost. He admits he's directionally challenged. THAT'S WHY JIMIN SAID BAM DOESN'T PAY ATTENTION TO HIS SURROUNDINGS JUST LIKE HIS DAD!

Anyway, JK, in the midst of his temper tantrum, got lost and started to panic but first he had to overcome his pride. He called Jimin, hung up on him and then did it again and on the third call, Jimin quickly answered. I think the panic was overwhelming JK by this time and the avalanche of emotions caved in on him. Poor Jimin probably also was worried by this time, especially after JK couldn't figure out where he was. The telling of how he broke down sobbing while talking to Jimin is so sweet and pure. WHO tells other people they actually did this? The details????

Somehow, Kookie found a taxi and got back to the dorm with Jimin standing there waiting. What a story. Jimin took him up to the roof where they could talk in private and I'm sure the words spoken there made an impact on Kookie. He thoroughly regretted it, enough that he had to bring it up during Festa 2020 and say he felt sorry that he made Jimin feel so bad that day.

All of that in the first 38 minutes of his hour and 45 minute live...

Then he proceeded to wake up the neighbors and ruin his furniture at the same time by drumming on his coffee table.

He tossed a book around for a few seconds... Crying In H Mart by Michelle Zauner, in case anyone wants to read what Kookie is reading. Except I think that's the first time he's actually touched the book because there was a big ass brochure in the middle of it that he had no idea was there.

It seemed like a booklist brochure advertising the latest and best books.

omg... bless his heart...

Next topic: Yoongi's concert. Was Kookie watching a fancam livestream of Yoongi's concert too?

HE'S JUST LIKE US! HE SAW JIMIN AT YOONGI'S CONCERT! I BET MANAGER-NIM WAS LIVE STREAMING THE CONCERT!!!

He tells us he will go see Yoongi's concert (I'm assuming in Seoul). Sadly, Jimin might be in Europe on those days. We'll see.

All of a sudden he's blaming fruit flies for knocking over the phone. I didn't say it, he did.

Scrolling through his video library/youtube/whatever he has tons of cooking shows. He mentions 1mincook several times which is a channel of "1 minute cooking" dishes. Quick meals. All the videos are a minute in length. Perfect for JK's short attention span.

Jeon Jungkook is one of the most unpretentious people I've ever seen in my life.

I am 50 minutes into this live. He was very gregarious and jumped from one thing to the next.

I will run out of image space on this post so Part 2 coming soon!

#as many things as he's started and quit #as many times as he's said he's lazy #the Rainy Day Fight #jikook #kook cooks a lot #i would bet on a stack of bibles manager-nim was livestreaming that newark concert

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greatbigolhampuckjustforme · 1 month

Text

Something that has been on my mind for a while but I haven’t seen get talked about at all:

In The Ultimate Enemy, I don’t think Vlad was a reliable narrator.

In the episode, Vlad explains that Danny was grief-stricken after the death of his family and friends, and he undergoes a procedure (performed by Vlad) to remove his emotions?? Vlad removes Danny's ghost half, which in turn uses the gauntlets to remove Vlad's ghost half, and Phantom fuses with Plasmius to create Dan/Dark Danny.

There are a few things I find interesting here.

Danny has been split before and found no issue.

During Identity Crisis, Danny's ghost and human forms get separated through the ghost catcher, resulting in Super Danny. Super Danny is a full-time superhero whose only purpose in life is to heroically save lives and protect the citizens of Amity Park.

Now compare this to the version of Phantom we're served during TUE. This version of Phantom seems so angry and vengeful, the antithesis of what we know Danny to be. Danny asked to have part of himself ripped out, and then lashed out when Vlad followed through.

I think Vlad exaggerated Danny's reaction here. Vlad is evil, and I believe he attributes this to his ghost self rather than accepting it as an inherent part of his person, so he assumes Danny is the same way. He doesn't realise that, like the Dairy King says, "not all ghosts are evil". Thus, he hyperbolizes the events that took place to make it seem as though it was Danny's inherently evil ghost half that ruined everything, not Vlad's own actions.

2. Danny wants his feelings to be ripped out.

Sure, Danny is a teen who just had his entire life pulled out from under him. Asking to have his human emotions removed might be something a 14 year old would ask for in the wake of the deaths of all the people he loves.

But to actually go through with it?

Ever since they met Danny has been wary of every action Vlad has taken. He knows exactly what Vlad's motives are, he knows the man is greedy and violent and relentless, he knows that Vlad is not someone that can be trusted. So why would he trust him with something like this?

This also leans into Phantom attacking him. If this part was true and Danny's ghost half did attack Vlad upon being separated, it stands to reason that maybe the procedure wasn't entirely consensual, and Phantom was acting out of self-preservation rather than just attacking because ghosts are evil.

3. Vlad is willing to rip Danny's feelings out.

Danny is grieving. I might understand him wanting this, but why did Vlad go through with it? The premise of the procedure is ridiculous at best, and I'm sure he knew how risky it was.

Instead of seeking help for this grieving and traumatised teenager, he used a strange invention to rip out Phantom, as if that would solve literally anything.

4. Phantom fuses with Plasmius.

Now, this is incredibly interesting, because they don't fuse by some weird coincidence or accident; Phantom separates Vlad from his ghost half, drops the gauntlets on the floor, turns intangible, and overshadows Plasmius while he's passed out on the ground.

What in the actual hell would the motivation be for this? I seriously cannot think of a single reason he would. Is it power? Phantom is plenty powerful on his own. Plasmius only really has the upper hand when it comes to duplicating himself, and even that is a skill Danny knows he can practice, so why do they fuse???

5. Phantom fuses with Plasmius 2: Electric Boogaloo.

Putting this separate from the other fusion part because I do what I want.

How does it work when a ghost fuses with another ghost? Phantom and Plasmius are never shown as having any sort of conflict, which is out of character considering their entire relationship is based in conflict. How do they suddenly get along when they share a single body?

Moreover, when they fuse, they take on a form that looks like Phantom, but with some of Plasmius's more ghostly features (forked tongue, green skin, etc.) even though it was Phantom taking over Plasmius's body. To me, it would make more sense, if these events were true, for the pair to look like Plasmius, but with a few Phantom-esque features.

That is, of course, unless that isn't what really happened...

6. Vlad cowers in fear during this.

As we've seen in the show, Vlad is not a cowardly man. He's cunning, and is willing to do whatever it takes to get what he wants. He will never portray himself as weak unless he stands to gain from it.

So why do we get a clear shot of him absolutely terrified of the scene unfolding in front of him?

Perhaps it could be because he's suddenly powerless while in the presence of a powerful and malicious ghost. This explanation could make sense. Except then how did he survive? Especially given that...

7. Danny was killed by Dark Danny.

I don't know if that really does justice to what happened. Danny is seen cowering on the floor while the ghost stands over him menacingly. Vlad narrates that some things are better left unsaid, but the next thing we see is the mansion blowing up. Obviously, the implication here is that Danny was killed by the ghost, and then the whole place was destroyed.

Now, strangely enough, my first question is about how Danny was conscious during this ordeal. The whole series of events couldn't have taken more than a few minutes from start to finish, but even though we see Danny strapped down, gas pumping into his lungs to keep him unconscious for the procedure, he's suddenly awake, aware, and free from his restraints.

There is no way Danny would've been alert enough to act the way he did in the short clip that was shown.

8. The ghost let Vlad live.

This makes no sense to me either. The Phantom/Plasmius fusion killed Danny, but allowed Vlad to live, even though both were in the lab.

Okay, maybe Vlad's ghost half wasn't willing to kill his human half out of some leftover sense of self-preservation.

But wouldn't Danny's ghost half have the same instinct? Doubly so since he's so hellbent on protecting humans?

And not only did he not kill Vlad outright, but Vlad was also not killed during the explosion, which implies he got out beforehand. This could have only happened if the ghost allowed him to escape, since I have no doubt it would have noticed if Vlad tried to make a quick getaway while it was distracted.

Why would the ghost kill Danny with no remorse, but not ensure Vlad also perished?

So, what really happened?

Honestly, I'm not entirely sure. The true events could be any number of things. Maybe Vlad did the procedure for his own gain rather than to help rid Danny of his emotions. It could be to try and mold him into the perfect son while he's grieving and easy to manipulate. It could be that he was trying to separate Phantom to implant into a half-baked clone. I'm not entirely sure.

But what I do know is that what we're shown in The Ultimate Enemy is definitely not what really happened, and Vlad, for one reason or another, is manipulating the narrative to make himself look like a good person and a victim, all while painting Danny to be the reason the world is under attack.

#danny phantom #dp #the ultimate enemy #danny fenton #vlad plasmius #vlad masters #analysis #text post #my post

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frodo-with-glasses · 6 months

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The Ring and Invisibility

Indulge me for a second as I contemplate this little piece of Ring Lore that I've often overlooked: "And if [a mortal] often uses the Ring to make himself invisible, he fades: he becomes in the end invisible permanently, and walks in the twilight under the eye of the Dark Power that rules the Rings."

I've read a fair bit of debate, on this site and others, about just what the Ring's powers are and what it can do. Some claim that the Ring just enhances the "power" that its bearer already has; for instance, the reason it makes hobbits invisible is because they're already nearly undetectable to the Big Folk—the book is rather coy about whether or not this is a "magical" ability, because of course the hobbits wouldn't consider it magical if it's normal to them—and the Ring merely amplifies this power. By this logic, the movies making Isildur turn invisible when he put the Ring on is actually an error, because the race of Man doesn't naturally have the "power" of being undetectable.

However! In this paragraph, Gandalf isn't talking about a Hobbit, but a mortal (as opposed to the Elven smiths who first forged the Great Rings). He isn't even talking about the One Ring specifically, but one of the Great Rings in general. To me, this implies that anyone who possesses any Ring of Power can use it to "make himself invisible", with the catch 22 being that this is especially perilous for mortals because they're not strong enough to deal with Prolonged Exposure to Invisibility Spells.

(To back up the point, we have this passage from later in the chapter: "For Isildur was marching north along the east banks of the River, and near the Gladden Fields he was waylaid by the Orcs of the Mountains, and almost all his folk were slain. He leaped into the waters, but the Ring slipped from his finger as he swam, and then the Orcs saw him and killed him with arrows." This would imply that the orcs didn't see him until the Ring fell off; which suggests to me that Isildur was, in fact, invisible.)

This adds to the side effect we're already well familiar with: the "stretching". To an immortal elf, continuing to exist indefinitely would be no problem. They were doing that anyway. But it's terribly strenuous on mortals, whose bodies have a shelf life. Likewise, the peril of turning invisible too many times seems to only apply to mortals; perhaps an elf could use a Great Ring to turn invisible as often as they want and suffer no ill side effects.

(Sort of like how most people can eat as much cheese as they want no problem, while I can only have a little bit of dairy or I'll risk a major sinus headache. But that's neither here nor there.)

Frodo's conversation with Galadriel will delve more deeply into the clairvoyant and controlling powers of the Ring, so I'll table that discussion until we reach Lothlorien. But as a writer myself—who's trying to build her own fictional world and magic system—I find it's a fun and useful exercise to pluck a single rule out of the magic system and think about the logical extremes and plot possibilities that can come out of it. The invisibility rule is a fantastic example; there are so many different ways you could play with it, if the story had allowed for it.

Could the old elven smiths make themselves invisible with their Rings? Would they suffer the same compounding side effects, or not? Can Galadriel make herself invisible? Can Gandalf? For the One Ring, just putting it on will turn anyone but Tom Bombadil invisible; if that power is accessible to Galadriel and Gandalf, I'd have to assume they have the power to toggle it on and off, because they're wearing their Rings all the time. If being more easily detected by the Enemy when invisible wasn't such a problem, how might that ability have been used to their advantage in the story?

How many times does a mortal have to turn himself invisible to get stuck that way? Is the change gradual, or sudden? Even with all the times Gollum used the Ring, he still was very visible; Gandalf calls him "thin and tough", as if stubbornness alone overcame the fading effects. Frodo is more than once described as being "slightly translucent" or "like a clear glass", but that probably has more to do with the wound he received on Weathertop than it has anything to do with the Ring. Obviously the Ringwraiths are the final product of this hideous process—existing, but having no visible form or shape—but what do the in-between stages look like? Can you imagine what the story would be like if the invisibility laid hold of its victims sooner, and Gollum was partially invisible?? It's simultaneously cool and horrifying. And to think Frodo himself was almost a wraith, a ghost, an apparition, shuffling formlessly around the halls of Bag End...chills, man. Chills.

Obviously I don't claim to be an expert on this topic. I'm no Tolkien scholar, just an enthusiastic fan. So if any truly eggheaded Tolkien nerds out there would care to share their insight in the notes, please do so! I'm always eager to learn more. And if I misunderstood the Professor's choice of words here, feel free to correct me. This line just caught my eye, and I figured it'd be fun to dig into it.

I don't know how to end this essay. Uh. Don't do rings, kids. Your face will get stuck that way.

#my writing #lord of the rings #lotr #rambles and conjecture

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star-anise · 2 years

Note

Speaking of potatoes and fantasy worldbuilding and the impact that they have on a culture: You discussed how potatoes free a society from a lot of things that grain imposed. Including how potatoes are pretty much ready to cook/eat right from being grown. That had me wondering about potatoes in various worldbuilding projects which leads me to this: Is it as easy to turn a potato into a food item that will keep, potentially for months or years, as one can with wheat (see: Hardtack/etc, for an extreme example). Or is that actually an advantage of wheat over potatoes? Because your post kind of makes it sound like once a society gets potatoes, why would any peasant choose to keep growing wheat? Or is that the point, they really *wouldn't* choose to keep growing wheat?

I think modern society's uses of the two are pretty good illustrations. We like wheat, and we also like potatoes! Bread, but also french fries! Beer, but also vodka!

So it's not always an either/or choice: Homesteads that grow for their own tables tend to have their fingers in a lot of different pies, like livestock, dairy, poultry, field crops, fruit trees, and vegetable crops. This is partly an insurance policy: If one crop doesn't make it, maybe another will. Maybe it rains so hard your potatoes all rot in the ground, but your wheat finds a way to survive—or the storm is so violent your wheat is all flattened in the field, but your potatoes were perfectly fine.

But there's also the part where we humans tend to like variety in our diets, which is partly physiological (we need a lot of different vitamins and minerals, and which ones we need can shift with the circumstances) and partly psychological (because we can get really tired of having to eat the same damn thing over and over and over. Yes, samefood crew, we exist, but we're also statistically rare.)

But if you had to choose: If you intend to eat what you grow and you've got limited land and equipment, potatoes are the hands-down winner. It's really easy to plant a pound of potatoes and get five pounds back at the end of the season. Depending on storage conditions, you can keep them for several months.

However, if you want to earn your living by selling your crop for cash, it's a little more complicated. Potatoes, though lovely, are also demanding; they are prey to literally dozens of problems that range from "potato is being eaten by an insect" to "potato is being eaten by a fungus" to "potato did not get enough water" to "potato got too much water." Even when your potatoes are technically edible, they might end up harder to store, harder to turn into food, or just plain ugly, which makes people less likely to buy them.

Also, and maybe this is just my personal perception from trying to pick three acres of potatoes by hand when I was 13, harvesting potatoes is a pain in the ass. They grow down in the dirt, so to get them out again, you have to physically dig them up and shake them apart from chunks of earth. I've never harvested grain by hand so maybe I'm just ignorant, but to me that's a lot of bending, kneeling, crouching, and scrabbling through the dirt. Like, harvesting 1 potato plant? Delightful search for buried treasure. 10? Wipe sweat off your brow and feel very satisfied with yourself. But the year I was 13 we harvested at least 100 potato plants. It was the year we studied the Russian Revolution in school and I felt the peasants had a definite point.

(And then they weren't good enough to be sold as food crops. They stayed in our garage, a giant pyramid touching the roof, for half the winter. We ate potatoes every single day until my brothers campaigned for an end to it. My parents donated 10,000 lbs of potatoes to the local food bank and my dad bought a potato picker at an estate auction the following year.)

Wheat does not make a great home-consumption crop these days, since it takes a lot of work to process into flour. In the last decade I've seen some affordable home flour mills, and if you have a combine harvester that's actually doable, but when I was a kid, the nearest flour mill to us was 1000km away. Without a combine, you still need to thresh and winnow the grain. It's a whole thing.

On the other hand, if you have the tools and facilities to process it, wheat is generally simpler to grow, easier to transport and sell, and the straw it leaves behind* is a useful byproduct. And while I do love eating potatoes, and you can technically make cake and bread out of them, I, like much of the rest of the world, prefer to eat things made with wheat flour, and am also fond of other grain products like rolled oats, rye bread, and multigrain bagels.

(*Sidenote: Straw and hay are different things. Straw is the stalk of grain like wheat or barley. It has minimal nutritional value and is used for bedding and insulation. Hay is a nutritious blend of cut grasses and plants that are fed to farm animals instead of, or in addition to, access to pasture they can graze in. In case that's useful.)

In British history there IS a whole huge thing with the Agricultural Revolution where land use transferred from smaller peasant farmers growing food for themselves, to larger farmers growing cash crops to feed a mostly-urbanized population, which was part landlords kicking people off their land so it could be used differently, and part peasants seeing factory jobs in the city as a welcome escape from the backbreaking labour of farming. While I think the landlords shortchanged their former tenants, and the urban factory owners were horrible to their workers, I think we also need to remember that the peasants who said "Fuck this hoe, I'm off to town" had a very valid point.

#agriculture #medievalism #staranise original

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dantakeyoman · 9 months

Text

𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐒 | 𝐣. 𝐜𝐚𝐝𝐞

♡ 𝐣𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦! 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

♡ *𝒐𝒉, (𝒚/𝒏)? 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒕, 𝒔𝒉𝒆'𝒔 𝒕𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏 𝒂 𝒃𝒂𝒈 𝒐𝒇 𝒏𝒂𝒊𝒍𝒔, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒘𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒂𝒔 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏, 𝒕𝒐𝒐. 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒔𝒉𝒆'𝒔 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍 𝒅𝒐𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒉𝒆𝒓. …𝒊𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒗𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒆𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉. *

♡ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐫𝐞, 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝, 𝐢𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐫𝐲, 𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐬, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐱, 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬, 𝐣𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐞, 𝐞𝐭𝐜.

♡ * 𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒚 - 𝒑𝒐𝒗: 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒔 *

𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄

"You guys really are hungry, huh?" Dallas smirked, watching the three of you scarf down your sandwiches with an amused look.

Dally took the three of you to a local Dairy Queen, his treat, and he was sure that none of you had come up for air since he handed over the food.

"The kid you killed had plenty of friends," Dallas turned to you, who was sitting in the passenger, "It's all over town...Soc against Grease. I started carrying a heater, man."

"Dal, you kill people with heaters," Pony chimed, mouth full.

Dally pulled out the gun, opening the chamber to show it was empty, "Don't worry, it ain't loaded."

"Hey, mister! You have 15 cents?" A little girl loudly asked, seemingly coming out of nowhere.

Dally nearly jumped out his shoes and scrambled to hide the weapon.

"Nah, we don't have nothin' on us. Sorry," you quickly covered, shifting in your seat to shield Dallas.

"Are you sure?" She pressed.

"Could you please go away. We're busy here," Dally ordered, throwing on some shades.

"Do you have a dime?"

"Could you go away?"

"Do you have a dime?"

"Go away! Get outta here!"

The girl's face fell, but she nodded and walked off.

Dally took a deep breath of relief, taking off the shades and turning to make sure she was really gone.

"Whew, that was a close call," he muttered, now checking all around him to make sure no one else was listening in, "Anyway, Tim Shepard's gang and our outfit are havin' it out with the Socs in the vacant lot tomorrow night."

'A rumble? Man, we ain't had a rumble in a long time.'

"Hey, I didn't tell you, we got a spy," he added.

"A spy? Who?" Johnny asked, stuffing a fry in his mouth.

"Remember that good-looking broad I tried to pick up the night (y/n/n) wasted that kid-." You flicked him in the head, silently telling him to watch his mouth.

"What's 'er name? Uh, Cherry somethin'. The redhead."

"Cherry Valance," Pony sprang to life, quickly swallowing his bite.

"Cherry? The Soc, right?" Johnny nodded

"Yeah, we were all hangin' out in the vacant lot and she pulls up in her little old Stingray," Dally started, "Yeah, that took a lotta nerve."

"Yeah..." Pony egged him.

"She said she'd, uh, testify that the Socs were drunk, and they were the ones that were looking for a fight, and you guys fought back just strictly on self-defense. So it's cool," Dally continued, running a hand through his hair.

'If that's the case...'

"Man, that little broad sure does hate me. I offered to take her over to the Dingo for a coke, an' she told me to go to hell. I dunno."

...

"So, you think she might like me a bit?" He smirked, turning to you.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes, "She's over the moon."

"Hey, I think she's cute. Right?"

"Right," Pony grumbled, tossing his sandwich out the car.

"Hey, what do they do for kicks around here, anyways? Play checkers or somethin'? This place is outta it," Dallas scoffed, taking a look around, "I dunno, man. I've never been in the country."

"We're going back. We'll turn ourselves in," you stated, turning to Dallas.

Johnny spit out his coke, and Dally nearly went dumb.

"What?" He asked, leaning his ear in, as if he heard wrong.

"I got a good chance of bein' let off easy," you repeated, "It was self defense, you just said, Pony, Cherry, and Johnny can testify to that. And we wont say that you helped us. Johnny'll give you back that gun so you won't get in any trouble, Dal."

He scoffed, pinching the bride of his nose, "Are you sure this is what you wanna do?"

"Yeah, I'm sure, man. It ain't fair for Darry and Soda to be worryin' about Pony all the time," you took a sip of your water.

"Hey, I don't guess (b/n/n)'s worried 'bout me-." "Hey, man, the boys are worried. I don't know what's goin' on with you and your brother, but did you know that Two-Bit wanted to go to Texas to hunt for you."

"Dal, I asked if my brother asked about me-?" "No, he didn't ask about you! So what?! You think my old man gives a hang if I'm, uh, dead in a car wreck or drunk or in jail or somethin'? He doesn't care, but that doesn't bother me none."

You glared down at you shoes, shoving another fry in your mouth.

'Of course he didn't ask. That was a stupid question.'

The more you thought about it, the angrier you got.

'The bastard probably wouldn't even care if I was the one dead instead of Bob. It'd just be one less thing to worry 'bout. Don't even matter that I'm his baby sister or nothin'.'

You felt a hand reach forward and touch your shoulder, giving it a soothing and comforting rub.

'Johnny.'

You almost instantly relaxed, the anger-inducing thoughts suddenly melting away, and leaving you a little bit calmer.

"Can't believe this. I get you a hangout, man, a hideout. Look at this, now you wanna split," Dally grumbled, putting the car in reverse and throwing his hands on the wheel.

"Terrific."

𝒋 𝒐 𝒉 𝒏 𝒏 𝒚 𝒄 𝒂 𝒌 𝒆

"(y/n/n), you don't know what a few months in jail can do to you, man," Dally lectured, the four of you now on the back roads of the country, "You get meaner in jail. I just don't wanna see that happen to you like it happened to me, man. You understand?"

"While I'm lovin' the speech, Dally, I just wanchu to know that I've already made up my mind," you stated seriously, "If we stick with the self defense I should be all right."

The man sighed, shaking his head as he took a look out the window, "I dunno, man."

Suddenly, faint sound started to echo through the valley.

A pained one.

It sounded like crying.

"You all hear that?" Johnny asked, eyebrows furrowing as he listened closer.

"Yeah, I hear it," you nodded.

"Me, too," Pony agreed, sticking out his ear.

As the four of you turned the bend, you were met with the image of a burning old building, the smoke staining the sky gray and the cries of the children becoming crystal clear.

Your eyes shot wide, and your hands quickly covered your gasp.

The house was burning with the kids inside.

"What's goin' on?" Johnny asked, confused.

"I wonder how that started," Pony wondered.

Dally sighed, shaking his head as he continued on, "Jesus Christ."

Without a second thought, you jumped out the car, breaking of in a sprint across the field to get to the kids.

"(y/n/n)! Where you goin'?!" Johnny frantically exclaimed, standing up in his seat.

Pony lifted his leg up, about to get out the car himself, but Dally quickly yolked him up, holding him in place.

"Get over here, man! What're ya doin'?!" Dal called for you.

But it went in one ear and out the other, your mind only focused on getting to that house.

And you had to say, that was probably the fastest you had ever run.

If you had gone any swifter, you probably would've taken flight.

In no time flat, you were there, and it looked like the schoolteacher and some man were in an argument.

"Jerry! Some of the children are missing!" She warned in a frenzy, desperately pulling at his blazer.

"No, they're not, Chris," he dismissed, tending to the hysterical children.

"Look, now, you listen to me! I'm sure of it-!" A blood-curdling scream interrupted her, the sound coming from inside the house.

"(y/n/n), get your ass back over here!" Dally exclaimed, his car pulling up behind you.

And you looked back for a moment, debating whether or not you should mind your damn business.

'What if it was your kid? Your little brother? Your little sister?'

And that thought alone was all the reason you needed, turning around running straight for the side of the building.

"Hey, come back, girl! Don't go near, you'll get hurt!" The man named Jerry shouted at you, which you completely ignored.

Making it to the house, you found a particularly weak area of wood, and began kicking it down with the heel of your shoe, but it was still a little stronger than you'd expected.

"Damn it!" You hissed, kicking even harder.

"(y/n/n)!" Johnny called, running over with a large rock, throwing it into the wall and breaking a hole.

You turned to him, giving him a quick nod of thanks, before the two of you started pulling at the wood, making the hole big enough to enter.

You coughed, a big puff of smoke hitting you straight in the face, but you two pressed on, entering the burning house.

An owl swooped down above you, letting out a loud screech and making you jolt like a wire.

"Man, I hate owls!" You spat, weaving your way through the debris, "Is that guy coming?!"

"No!" Johnny answered, having to shout over the roaring flames.

"How come?! Too scared?!" You smirked, quickly running under a doorway.

"Nah, too fat!" Johnny smiled, the two of you turning the corner to make it to the back of the house, where all of the children were hiding.

"C'mon, kiddos!" You exclaimed, jumping over a fallen roof beam and grabbing one of them.

Johnny grabbed another, tossing the kids over his shoulder, "We'll getcha outta here!"

Just then, Dally broke in a part of the wall with his elbow, sweeping away some stray pieces of wood to open it up.

"Hand over the kids, already! What're you waitin' for?!" He shouted, holding out his arms.

Pony opened up the hole even wider, taking the kid that was on Johnny's shoulder.

You handed over the girl that was in your arms, and picked up the one that was standing next to you, handing her over.

And as Johnny went to grab what looked like the last kid, you heard some more screams.

"Help! I'm over here! I'm in the corner! Help!" A little boy cried.

"I'm coming!" You shouted, turning around and running for the corner.

"(y/n/n)!" Johnny exclaimed, handing off another one of the kids.

"Move it! Get out! Now!" Dally shouted, staring up at the burning roof, which was beginning to collapse.

You covered you mouth and nose with the sleeve of Johnny's jacket, jumping through the flames in the doorway to find the little kid huddled in the corner, terrified, along with two other children on the brink of unconsciousness.

"C'mon, little guy!" You scooped one up, handing him over to Johnny, who just ran in.

Dally and Pony broke in another part of the wall and took the little boy from Johnny, you handing off the little girl.

Johnny picked up the last kid, and just as he was handing her off, you heard a loud and ominous creak.

Snapping your head up to the ceiling, you saw the wood of a flaming roof beam split in half and start to fall.

Johnny being directly on its collision course.

Your eyes went wide, and without even thinking, you pushed him and the little girl out the way, the beam hitting you instead.

"HOLY SHIT!" Dallas exclaimed, catching the girl and handing her off to Pony.

"(Y/N)!" Johnny shouted, the color draining from his face as he quickly scrambled to his feet.

"JOHNNY!" You screamed, the sound of your voice ringing throughout the entire valley, "HELP ME!"

"I'm comin', (y/n/n)! I'm comin'!" Johnny repeated over and over, kicking in more of the wall to reach you.

You back felt like it was boiling, and despite all the screams and the flames, you could still hear the creaking of the roof.

It would collapse any second.

'So this is how I'm goin' to die? Bein' burned to death?'

"I gotchu, baby. I gotchu. Don't chu worry," Johnny assured, scooping you up bridal style and holding you close.

It sounded like he was crying.

"I'm gettin' you out, you hear me? I'm gettin' you out."

You tried to respond, but you couldn't make the words come out.

Your couldn't even open your eyes.

Just as Johnny made it back outside, the entire house collapsed, leaving the three boys to care for you, who was completely unresponsive.

"SOMEONE CALL A DAMN AMBULANCE!"

𝒋 𝒐 𝒉 𝒏 𝒏 𝒚 𝒄 𝒂 𝒌 𝒆

"Rise and shine, buttercup~" Two-Bit teased with a smile, resting his arm on your bedside rail.

You groaned, your eyes fluttering open to see him, Pony, Johnny, and Dally all gathered around your bed, all smiles.

"Two...I could smell you a mile away," you weakly smiled, each one of them letting out their own sigh of relief.

"Yeah, I'm sure you could," he smiled back, almost teary if you squinted.

Everyone was so relieved.

You were out cold for quite some time, and the doctors weren't sure you would come out of it, but sure enough, as stubborn as you are, you proved everyone wrong.

"Y'all all right?" You asked, sincerely, as you turned to face the three that were with you, "I'm real sorry. I hope you're not off too bad."

"Quit apologizin'," Dally scoffed, taking a hit from his cigarette, one of the many he won from his bet with Two-Bit, "Me and Pony only came out with a couple scratches."

He quickly caught himself, "But you pull a stunt like that again and I'll kill you."

You let out a quiet laugh, "Wouldn't dream of it."

Suddenly, you felt something warm take your hand, and you turned to see it was Johnny, who looked like he was on the verge of tears himself.

But he kept his face hard...for the boys, of course.

"You okay, Johnnycake?" You asked, looking up at him nervously.

"Oh, I'm all right. Just a little burn on my hand," he assured, trying to pull his hand away before you could see.

But you tightened your hold, inspecting closer to see a dark red splotch on the back of it, the skin around it slightly wrinkled and painful looking.

"It looks worse than it feels, honest."

You looked to him, a saddened look on your face, "You sure?"

His stomach buzzed and he nearly turned to putty.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Don't worry," he smiled.

"You were the one that got the worst outta us," Pony chimed, "But the doctor said you've gotta be the luckiest patient he's ever seen."

You cocked a brow, "Lucky?"

"Yes sir, he said that most in your position woulda been paralyzed for life, but you made it out with just a couple a burns on your back," Two-Bit stated proudly, "Said that you'd be back on your feet in no time."

"That's Nails for ya," Dally smirked, taking another hit, "Crazy, man."

You grinned, your smile completely brightening up the room, "That's great!"

"Not only that, but we made the paper," Pony added, tossing you the newspaper.

You caught it, unfolding it to reveal your pictures large and in charge on the front page.

"Hoodlums to Heroes?" You scoffed in disbelief, reading the title, "Surprised they ain't got Wanted: Dead or Alive under my name."

"Nah, they don't haul in heroes," Two joked, sitting himself down at the foot of the bed.

"The station ran with the whole self-defense thing Cherry spewed, so the three of you are pretty much off scott-free," Dally explained, "Who knew your little plan would actually work?"

"I did," you smirked, tossing back the paper to Pony and throwing your legs over the side of the bed, "And now that I'm right as rain, I'll have no problem in the rumble tonight."

"Woah, woah, woah, you're not goin' to that rumble," Johnny stepped in front of you, lifting your legs back in bed, "You just woke up, you're not fit enough to fight."

"Says who?" You scoffed, "I feel brand new, Johnnycake. I can take a lil' rumble."

"The doc says that while you're recovery's gonna be pretty quick, the meds is gonna make the pain come in fits and stops," Two sighed, hanging his head, "I might have to side with Johnny on this one. It's just not safe."

"(y/n)?" The nurse called, walking into the room.

She moved past the boys so she could stand next to you, taking your hand in hers, "(y/n), your brother is here to see you."

Your eyes lit up, if only for a moment, before you were quickly reminded of all that he'd done, and your face fell.

"Now he wants to see me? After I nearly burned to death?" You scoffed, furrowing your eyebrows, "Tell 'im to get lost. I don't wanna see him."

The woman looked surprised, but the rest of the gang knew good and well to stay out affairs with you and your brother, the four of them resorting to looking around the room, whistling.

"It's your brother, (y/n)," the nurse tried to reason.

"Yeah, I know it's him! And you can tell him to take his ass out and go roof some houses or somethin'! I don't wanna see him," you crossed your arms, not moving an inch.

"Fellas, out," a familiar voice suddenly ordered, stepping into the room.

You rolled your eyes as everyone turned to see your big brother standing right there, in the flesh.

It had been a while since some of the boys had seen him, and they could say without a doubt that he had gotten tougher.

He was built like Darry, sure, but a little bit more burly. His arms were big like Steve's, and he loved showing them off in his favorite white wife-beater.

And the most notable trait of them all, he looked so much like you that people often mistook him for your father.

The boys told you their goodbyes, and said their hellos to (b/n), before finally heading out the room, the nurse quickly following them as well.

"How many times have I told you, Mr. Winston?! You are not allowed to smoke on hospital grounds!" She scolded on her way out.

"I don't wanna talk to you," you huffed, keeping your arms and your face cross.

"Well, that's too bad 'cause I wanna talk to you. So you're gonna stop bein' a baby an' listen," he dismissed, walking up to your bedside.

"I'm being a baby?" You scoffed, "(b/n/n), this is the first time I'm seeing you in three weeks! Is me gettin' barbecued the only way for you to wanna see me anymore?!"

"That's not how it is an' you know it!" He fired back, "I have bills to pay, (y/n/n)! Someone's gotta be the adult around here."

"That's why I took up the job at the DX, idiot! I contribute money to the bills, too!" You exclaimed.

"An' I never use it! I put it off to the side for you! So you can have somethin' to getchu started when you're my age," he scoffed, running a hand through his hair.

You were taken aback.

All this time you've been giving him money, and he's been saving it for you? Putting it off to the side?

"Why?" You asked, confused.

"'Cause I'm the man of the house, (y/n/n). Bills an' stuff should be my responsibility, not yours," he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, "I shouldn't even be lettin' you work. You're still a kid."

"I'm seventeen," you cocked a brow.

"That's a kid to me," he dismissed.

"You're only four years older?!"

"You're still my baby sister!"

"But I'm not a baby anymore!"

"I'll always see you that way!"

"I don't understand why you won't just let me help-!" "'CAUSE YOU SHOULDN'T BE HELPIN'!"

You shut your trap, surprised by your brother's outburst.

"You shouldn't be helpin'," he sighed, sitting down next to you and taking your hand.

"When mom and dad were around, all they did was make me help. Chores, jobs, cookin'," he started, "An' I hated it. I hated it so much that when they left an' I realized that that's all I would be doin', I nearly killed myself."

He turned to you with a watery smile, tears welling up in his eyes.

"But then I remembered you, and all of a sudden, I had a new purpose. I wanted to make your life better than I ever had. I wanted you to be able to do kid things and not hafta worry 'bout bills or work or nothin' like that," he cupped your cheek, brushing a stray piece of hair out your face, "I wanted you to stay the little tomboy that was always on my heels, always tryna hang with the guys. An' if that meant workin' a little harder, an' not seein' you as much, then I was willin' to make that sacrifice."

You sighed, and gave him a warm smile, taking his hand from your cheek and holding it tightly in yours.

"(b/n/n), I've had a wonderful childhood 'cause of you, and those years will always be somethin' I hold dear," you started, looking at him sincerely, "But we are in this together, and I have no problem helpin' you out with some of the bills. I enjoy my job at the DX so much, it's barely work. I get to fix engines, change oil, and beat up Steve everyday."

He chuckled, which made you smile go even wider.

"I'm thankful for all that you've done for me, but now it's my turn to help, okay? You keep workin' like this and you'll look sixty by the time you're thirty," you snickered.

He sighed, finally caving, "All right. I'll only take your check every other week, an' no more."

"I'll take it," you smiled, giving him a peck on the cheek, "Anyways, you goin' to the rumble tonight?"

"Yeah, Darry asked me to show out and help. It sounds like the Socs are bringin' an army or somethin'," he nodded, standing up and stretching.

"Sounds like y'all could use the help~" You cooed.

"No," he quickly shut down, his face turning serious, "I see you there and I'll wring your neck myself."

You groaned, throwing your head back into the pillow, "C'mon, man! This is the first rumble in months!"

"The answer is no. You're stayin' here and gettin' some rest, that's final," he stated, walking towards the exit, "Love you."

And with that, he left the room, leaving you in the stuffy, stale-smelling hospital by yourself.

'If they think I'm stayin' here, they got another thing comin'.'

𝒋 𝒐 𝒉 𝒏 𝒏 𝒚 𝒄 𝒂 𝒌 𝒆

#johnnycake #johnny cade x reader #johnny cade #the outsiders x reader #the outsiders

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